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Chapter Text

'I liked you so much better before you opened your mouth'

Krystal wanted to blurt that out to the world, but she figured it might be a little rude, especially considering they weren't even halfway through the appetizers.
Tonight it was some big league businessman whose name she couldn't remember. She'd barely been attracted to him since the start of all this, even before he started blabbering off about how the gays were ruining society. He was in his mid twenties, but had the political views of an eighty year-old man.

"And you know what else?" He asked, spit flying from his open mouth. "Maybe I'd be okay with it if they weren't so in-your-face about it, y'know?"
She'd been on calls for him at least six times by now, solely because of his bank account. Then again, this was her major income source. Everything was about the bank account in this world.

"Absolutely." Krystal said, hoping she sounded somewhat convincing. 'I wonder how he'd feel if he knew I was with a girl last night?'

The man across from her beamed. He looked like a fish when he smiled, his pale skin stretched sickly across his face. "I like you, Krystal. I like you a lot."

"I like you too." Krystal smiled a toothy grin, breathing in through her mouth and out through her nose so she wouldn't have to smell whatever stench was clinging to his breath.

"When all this is over with," he continued, "maybe we could go out for real. Would you like that?"

'Oh hell no'

"Although that sounds-" disgusting "- lovely, I make it a personal rule not to mix business and my personal life."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed, the whining baby. Last time they had been together he tried to add another person into the mix without telling her. She should've cut this guy lose weeks ago. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Krystal replied, a bit too eagerly. He eyeballed her and went back to eating the shrimp platter.

Taking a shrimp and dipping it in some sort of mystery sauce, he offered it to Krystal.

"Thank you, but I'm trying to watch my figure." And prevent myself from getting poisoned by desperate assholes like yourself.

The man smiled and shook his head. "No woman has ever said no to me before, honey."

"Aren't I a woman?" Krystal replied evenly. Maybe if she closed her eyes really tightly and then reopened them he'd be gone.

"Women!" The man huffed, tossing the shrimp back onto the platter. It hit with a splat and sauce splattered all over Krystal's turquoise dress. That's $500 she wasn't getting back.
The man grabbed his coat from the back of his chair and pushed the chair into the table, spilling their wine glasses onto the floor. "You're all the damn same!" He shouted. The people at surrounding tables looked at the spectacle unfolding before them.

"Enjoy dying alone, you stupid harlot!" With that the man departed, leaving Krystal with flushed cheeks and running mascara. She hates being embarrassed in public, she always ends up crying.

Krystal bent over in her seat and picked up the wine glasses, one cracked and the other shattered.

"Excuse me, miss?" A voice behind asked. She jumped at the sound. "Are you alright?"

"Yes!" Krystal reassured them, turning around to face them. "I'm fine, I- my-" client? "boyfriend got upset. I'm fine, really."
She knew she shouldn't have called him her boyfriend. Now the woman is going to ask if this thing happens often, then she'll call the police no matter Krystal's answer, and all of this will lead up to Krystal's arrest for being a sex worker.

Luckily the other woman wasn't feeling too protective, as she let it drop at that.

Krystal grabbed her purse and coat, tossing the faux fur designer on to help cover the stain she knew she'd never be able to get out.
This always seemed to happened to her. Her recurring clients would get too close, ask her out on a real date, and then either would have a hissy fit or would just stop requesting her. That was the pattern and she seemed unable to break it.

"Excuse me! Excuse me, Miss?" A man called from behind her. Their waiter. Krystal internally groaned, but she turned and faced him with a smile.

"Yes?" She said in her best bubbly blonde voice. "Is there a problem?"

"Yes, ma'am, I think you and your date forgot to pay."

Krystal opened her mouth into a large 'o' shape and widened her eyes. "Oh my gosh!" She said, lightly tapping herself on the head. "We completely forgot! Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!" Of course she would get stuck with the bill.

The waiter gave her a skeptical once over and motioned for her to follow him to the register.

Chapter Text

"It was mortifying!" Krystal said to her roommate and best friend of late, Cosima Niehaus. "He threw a hissy fit and then just left me with the bill! Guess how much it was!"

"How much?" Cosima asked concernedly, taking the tea kettle off the burner and pouring it into two coffee mugs.

"$375.37!" Krystal shouted indignantly. "It was 25 for the meal alone, and the rest covered the 'damages,' which weren't even that bad!"

"Damages?" Cosima repeated, passing Krystal a mug. "I thought it was just those broken wine glasses."

"Yeah, so did I." Krystal said. "But apparently the floor wasn't completely tile, it was stone tile over a thin layer of carpeting. They said the stain would be impossible to get out without employing a professional cleaning service!"

"That's totally bullshit."

"Total bullshit!" Krystal agreed. "Gosh, thank you for listening to all this, I know you must've had something planned with Delphine tonight."

Cosima shook her head. "The anniversary lunch moved to an anniversary dinner when I found out you were on a call with that Grant guy."

"That was his name!" Krystal exclaimed. "I couldn't remember it for the life of me!"

Cosima sat next to Krystal on their couch and placed her mug down on the coffee table. "Y'know," she said, "Delphine and I have some girls who would be totally head over heels for you-"

"No." Krystal said firmly. "I'm not dating someone while I'm in the industry, they wouldn't understand." She looked at the dreadlocked woman next to her. "Besides, I wouldn't want to mess up any of your guys's friendships when things go south."

"Krystal!" Cosima said, drawing out the name. "Not every romantic relationship you start goes south!"

"Oh yeah?" Krystal said. "Tell that to Jason, Kara, Nadia, Vex-"

"Okay, first of all Vex was totally my fault, I met him at a rave and chatted with him for, like, five minutes." Cosima took Krystal's hand in hers. "It's not your fault people are assholes."

Krystal smiled halfheartedly and sighed. "Thanks, Cos, but I'm just a little swamped from all this shit with... What was his name again?"

"Grant."

"Right, him. I don't know, maybe I should accept defeat and start my cat collection early."

Cosima nodded thoughtfully. "I know tons of girls who love cats."

Krystal smirked and laughed. "Was that a vagina joke?"

Cosima lifted her eyebrows suggestively and shrugged. "Depends on how you interpret it."

"I'm serious, though," Krystal said, sipping tea. "I'm totally over dating."

"I'm not saying you need to start dating somebody," Cosima said. "I'm saying you need something to... rub yourself up against."

Krystal snorted and then yelped as hot tea shot through her nostrils.

"A scratching post, if you will." Cosima continued in what was best described as a faux Bill Nye impression.

Krystal laughed harder. "You're killing me, Niehaus." She tried to say it dryly, but she wasn't able to keep a straight face.

"Why don't I invite you to come with us!" Cosima proposed. "You, me, and Delphine."

"On your anniversary dinner?" Krystal said astonishedly. "Oh, no, God, no. I couldn't ask you two to do that for me!"

"Nonsense!" Cosima assured her. "Delphine won't mind at all, we can just call up a friend or two to meet us at the bar and then leave you guys alone!"

"The bar?" Krystal asked.

"Yeah, Bobby's bar. That was the first place Delphine and I met."

"I thought you guys met in the lab."

"True," Cosima replied. "But the lab doesn't served me half priced wine all night long on Saturdays."

"I don't know..." Krystal said. "I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be! Delphine and I care about you, and we want you to be happy." Cosima batted her eyelashes. "What do you say? Just one drink with one of our friends in a gay bar?"

Krystal sighed in defeat. "Fine."

Chapter Text

The bar was absolutely packed. Cosima and Delphine had told her to wait for the friend while they grabbed them a table, but Krystal didn't even know where to look for them. It didn't help she was only 5'7, and that was with three inch heels.

She'd only been to three other gay bars in her life, and two of those times was for a friend's birthday party. This bar was nothing like the other ones, not by a long shot. Krystal didn't see anybody selling Molly, there weren't any glow sticks, and, thankfully, there wasn't any fist bumping.

Krystal craned her neck to see if she could recognize Cosima's telltale dreads, or Delphine's crispy locs, but it was to no avail. She pursed her lips and began the trailing task of navigating herself to the bartender.

She'd hadn't been in such a huge crowd of people since Oktoberfest in '03.

Muttering together strings of "sorry" and "excuse me," Krystal managed to get herself to an empty table in a ring of twelve. She pulled out her phone and checked Twitter, refreshing her feed obsessively.

"Hey, cutie." Krystal jumped a bit and turned her phone face down. She glanced up at the woman sitting across from her and did a double take.

She was blonde and wore cat eye glasses much like Cosima's, and had a wide streak of blue in her otherwise platinum blonde hair.

"What's shakin'?"

Krystal opened her mouth, but found herself unable to respond.

"I'm Bobby," the woman said with a wave. "I like long walks from the bar to my car, throwing darts with the lights off, and I own this joint. Now you go, I guess."

"I- I, um... What?"

Bobby laughed and brushed a bit of her hair from her face. "I'm Bobby, I own the bar, and I'm into guys and girls and everything in between." She said slowly.

"Okay?" Krystal said, flustered at the other woman's directness. "Thanks for the company, but I'm really not into the whole dating scene. Mostly just looking for a friend."

Bobby scrunched up her face in confusion. "Then why did you come here for speed dating night?"

Krystal's eyes widened. "Speed dating?" She whisper shouted. "No, no, no, no, no. I'm here to meet up with my friends for their anniversary and maybe- maybe meet a few of their... Other friends."

The other woman awkwardly nodded. "Right. Okay, then you must be Krystal."

"How did you-" those brats! "Do you know-"

"Cosima and Delphine?" The other woman finished. "Absolutely. We're like this." Bobby crossed her fingers to demonstrate the bond.

"Wow. Okay." Krystal emphasized the words, drawing them out. They must've planned this. "Is the couple in question here right now?"

Bobby sharply drew in a breath and slowly shook her head. "They actually left about fifteen minutes ago."
They totally planned this, the scheming little weasels! Cosima had told her to bring no more than twenty dollars, that she and Delphine would be treating her to dinner tonight. Twenty dollars wouldn't even cover half the cab ride to go back to the apartment. She was as good as trapped.

"I don't think this is for me," she said, but Bobby quickly grabbed her arm.

"Wait, please, just wait. How about you give this a chance? I mean granted you did t want this to begin with, but you might as well make the best of it!" She was totally reaching right now. "Without you there's an odd number."

"I don't know..." Krystal trailed off, trying to think of another excuse. "I really just am not really into this right now."

"Please?" Bobby asked. "If you give this a go I'll give you free drinks for a week."

Tempting...

"Maybe." Krystal relented. "What about if I just sit off to the side and keep time or something? I'm good at-"

"If you don't participate in this," Bobby interrupted, "Cosima will kill me. Please, just give it a chance."

Krystal nodded understandingly. She knew how ruthless Cosima could be when you get on her bad side. It was pretty odd too, especially when she was usually such a Pisces.

"Okay, fine." She agreed, much to Bobby's obvious relief. "How exactly does this work?"

"There are three rounds," she explained. "The first round is made up of five minute introductions with everyone else. In the second round, you spend ten minutes with everyone and get to know each other on a little bit more of a deeper level."

Krystal nodded. "And the third round?"

"That's when you swap numbers with the people you liked." Bobby smiled and and leaned in. "Although if you gave out a fake, no one would really notice."

Krystal smiled back at Bobby, and sighed nervously. "Okay, when does this all start?" She asked.

"Right about now."

Chapter Text

Two people asked her how much she weighed, three ask how much money she spent on her hair (too much, if Krystal were being honest with herself), and one asked if she was into LARP. At least she had something alcoholic.

The timer Bobby had set buzzed once again and the hairy LARPer was replaced by a petite blonde woman with bangs in a beige hat to kill for. Krystal didn't even like beige that much. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as she thought this would be...

"I'm Krystal. Hi." She said, holding out her hand.

The blonde woman looked at her and smiled. "Shay." She reached over to shake Krystal's hand, and gasped.

"What is it?" Krystal asked alarmingly. "What's wrong?"

"I love your nails!" Shay exclaimed. "Where did you get them done?"

"Oh! Thank you, I do them myself." She smiled and took a sip from her straw. She always liked it when people complimented something she took pride in, but especially her nails. "I like your hat, it's totally Stevie Nicks chic!"

"Thank you! I bought it at the flea market down on fifth street." Shay said. "Maybe I could take you there sometime?"

"Yeah." Krystal nodded. "That'd be really cool."

DING!

Krystal waved bye to Shay. "See you at round two!"

Shay hopped down from the stool and walked over another table. Krystal watched her go, and felt the table shift.

"Um, hi." A man said. She knew that voice.

Sitting across from Krystal, glasses clad, was none other than Scott Smith, one of Cosima's friends.

"You!" Krystal exclaimed, clenching her teeth. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Scott smiled meekly, adjusting uncomfortably under her intense gaze. "Cosima wanted me to check up on you, see if-"

"Hold on, Scott, honey." Krystal picked up her drink and slowly stirred it with the straw, staring Scott straight in the eyes. "Are you saying Cosima put you up to this?"
Her gaze intensified. "Were you in on this?"

DING !

Scott shifted uncomfortably, but was, quite literally, saved by the bell. That little shit! Cosima was totally getting an ear full once Krystal figured out how to hitch a ride back to the apartment.

She glanced at the table to her right and her jaw dropped. There was a guy coming over, a really, really muscular guy with dark hair and a nice amount of scruff. He looked like a lumberjack and was easily 6 feet tall. The mystery man pulled up the chair in front of her and sat down, and the resentment Krystal had been harboring for Cosima had vanished. At least, for now it had.

She tucked a strand of hair behind and ear and smiled.

"Hey, cutie." Oh god, was that too much?

"Hi," he said. God, even his voice was hot. Was that a slight Spanish accent she detected? "I'm Hector."

"Hector?"  Krystal, no. You are NOT going to fall for a guy with a grandpa name, not unless he's really rich and in poor health. "I love your name! It's so, just, um- nice!" What the hell is wrong with her?

He laughed at her horrible mess of a sentence, and ran his fingers through his hair. "Thank you." Accent totally confirmed!

"I really like your-" biceps- "shirt!"

"You're too sweet."

Krystal giggled and then mentally kicked herself. Are you serious right now, Krys? Are you really going to throw yourself at the first hot guy you see? Please, what is this, eighth grade?

"So, mystery girl, what's-"

DING!

Damnit!

Chapter Text

It took one hour and forty minutes before she finally saw a familiar face. Apparently Bobby only dropped in before round one to give her the rundown, not to look for love. One of the guys from before that asked about her weight was an accountant, a fact Krystal wished had remained unbeknownst to her. Then there was the woman who refused to stop talking about her ex-boyfriend's cats. That was just plain weird. There were three or four others that came before Shay, but they all blended together.
Thankfully, however, the first of three familiar faces was finally back.

"So, tell me a bit more about yourself." Krystal said to Shay. "Like, where did you grow up? What do you do?"

"Okay, Plains girl, born and raised, obviously. I was in the military for a while-"

"Military?" Krystal interrupted, brushing her hair back. "That's hot! I've always loved a girl in uniform."

Shay smiled and looked down to hide her blushing. "Thanks. Then after a few years of service, I moved back here and became a spiritual healer."

"A healer?" Krystal asked. "That's, like, really cool! I couldn't even imagine how hard that must be."

Shay grinned bashfully. "I mean yeah, but not really." Leaning in, she lowered her voice. "Between you and me, all you need is unscented candles and know your way around a bundle of sage."

"Still though!" Krystal said. "That's so cool! I wish I worked in something like that."

"I'm sure where you work is super cool! What do you do?" Shay asked, sipping from her drink.

"Oh, that's kind of... Complicated, to say the least." Krystal said. "It's just a really messy deal."

"How so?" Shay asked.

"Just... A sticky situation." Oh my gosh, Krystal, you need to chill with the sex puns. "It's just really, really hard- I mean, difficult for me to explain."

"Oh." Shay said. She was obviously unsatisfied with her speed date's answer.

"Let's just say I work with the general public."

"Really?"

"Oh god yes," Krystal gushed. "Everyone and their mothers!"

Shay nodded understandingly. "I get that. I've been so packed at work lately, I've barely been able to get away. I put everything on the back burner until I realized I was lonely, y'know?"

"Totally! It's just really important to be able to take some time for yourself, that's what I always say."

"Yeah, I mean how am I supposed to take care of other people when I can't even take care of myself."

Shay nodded enthusiastically. "Finally! Someone who gets it!" She paused and then continued. "Finally, somebody who gets me."

Krystal smiled and blushed. "Do you still wanna take me to that flea market?"

"Absolutely."

Krystal pulled a pen out of her purse and wrote her phone number down on a napkin. "Text me."

Shay took the napkin and tucked into her pocket. "Will do."

DING !

Chapter Text

"Scott, I swear to god if you don't give me your phone right now I will text everyone I know and tell them you have some awful, incurable STD."

Scott shifted and nervously chuckled, reaching for his coke.

"Why the hell are you even here?" Krystal asked. "I've always been under the impression you were straight."

"Demiromantic asexual, actually." He corrected.

Krystal huffed and leaned back in her chair. "So much for the std thing then."

"Why do you even want to call Cosima?" Scott asked. "Why can't you just use your own phone?"

"She probably won't answer."

"You don't know that!"

"Scott," Krystal started. "I've known Cosima nearly two years. In those two years, how many people had she tried to set up?"

Scott shrugged. "Fifty?" Try 15.

Krystal shook her head. "At least two hundred." Again, try 15.

Scott looked at Krystal dubiously. "Are you sure you're not just exaggerating?"

Krystal sighed once again. "Okay, maybe. But let me ask you this: how many times has she tried to hook you up with someone? How many times has it been a complete disaster?"

Scott's face suddenly cast a hallowed look, obviously remembering a very influential memory. He grabbed his phone and gave it to Krystal.

"Love you, Scotty," she said. Krystal's fingers shook as she punched in the scientist's number.

The line rang three times before Cosima finally picked up.

"What the hell?" She said breathlessly. "I told you just to text us, what's wrong, Scott?"

"What the in the ever loving hell were you thinking?" Krystal angrily demanded. "What was it that made you think 'hey, I should make Krystal go out and then trick her into speed dating'?"

"Okay first of all- oh god!" Cosima moaned. Krystal heard Delphine giggling in the background. "Delphine was in on it as much as I was- oh! Can I call you back?"

Krystal rolled her eyes. "Enjoy your anniversary, Cos, but just so you know we're talking about this later!"

She ended the call and passed Scott his phone back. "I think they were having sex."

Scott made a face and then shuddered. "Why'd she answer?"

Krystal shook her head. "People are weird."

Scott rose his glass. "I- I'll drink to that!" He clinked his glass with Krystal's. "I am sorry about this though," he said. "I didn't know they didn't tell you."

Krystal waved him off. "It's cool, I'm not mad at you, just them."

"They both care about you a lot." Scott said. "I don't think they meant to upset you, they just don't want you to be lonely. They're your friends, they want you to be happy."

"Yeah." Krystal said, unconvinced. "Sure they do."

DING !

Chapter Text

The next person she saw was Hector. She didn't know anything else other than he was a freaking god. He was obviously not from America, he walked... differently, as odd as that sounded. Every step he took had purpose. Krystal wasn't normally so attracted to random guys, but this guy was just amazing.

He sat down at the table and grinned.

"Hi again."

"Hey." Keep it cool, Krystal. "We meet again!" What the hell was that?

"We do." He smiled warmly and rested his head on his hands. "I never got a name, by the way. Mind filling me in?"

"Oh, God, yeah!" She gently tapped herself on the head as she fumbled over the words. "I'm Krystal!"

"Krystal." He repeated. She never realized how much she'd like hearing him say her name. "It fits."

"Thanks."

"Can I know a bit more about yourself?" Hector asked nonchalantly. God, Krystal hoped he was flirting with her, she could never really tell with men.

"I'm from New York, mom and dad are wealthy but not supportive, and I love animals." Krystal mirrored Hector, resting her head in her hands. She read in last weeks' issue of Cosmopolitan that that would make potential hookups feel more at ease. "How about you?"

"I'm from here, but both of my parents are from Brazil, parents don't like me much after coming out a few years back, and I love animals too."

So. Hot.

Krystal grinned. "Really?"

"God, yes. It's what made me want to work at an environmental agency." Thank god Cosima was gay, otherwise she would've snatched this guy up in a heartbeat.

"So you're a lawyer?"

"Yes." Hector said. Rich, hot, and an animal lover? Sign me up. "How about you?"

"In between jobs right now." Which is actually kind of true.

Hector mischievously smirked at her before leaning in. "I know this is a bit of a faux pas," he said, "but do you want to exchange numbers now?"

"Yes!" Krystal said, cringing at how eager she sounded. "I would love that!"

Hector trades his phone for Krystal's.

"Don't go into the photos!" He joked. "I have just tons of dirty pictures."

Krystal smiled and bit her lower lip. "Same here, man." She passed Hector's phone back. "Do you wanna go out sometime? Maybe, say, this Friday?"

"A woman asking a man out? Not very traditional." He joked.

"I'm not very much for tradition." Krystal replied with a tilt of her head.

"It's a date."

DING!

Chapter Text

"Scott!" Krystal shouted, following after him. She'd gone to tell him about Hector, only to see the back of his head as he was leaving the bar. She figured she would ask him to walk home with her during the third round, but apparently he wasn't staying that long. "Scott!"

He turned around quickly and then smiled as he saw Krystal pushing through the crowd. "Hey."

"Will you walk me home?" Krystal asked. "I'd rather walk with someone I know rather than a stranger. Safer that way, y'know?"

"Sure." Scott said.

They walked out of the bar into the cold streets, rain sprinkling down lightly.

"So how'd it go?" Scott asked.

"Hm?"

"The speed date." He clarified. "Meet anyone?"

"Oh, yeah. Two people, actually, some spiritual healer and then a friggin' God!" Krystal cleared her throat. "So, uh, what about you? Meet any Trekkies?"

Scott laughed. "No, b-but I'm staying hopeful."

"That's good." Krystal said. "Y'know, there are some dating sites for asexuals."

Scott glanced up at her. "Really?"

"Yeah! There's, um, I think aces-meet.com, and," Krystal paused. "And, and others I'm sure."

"Huh."

Suddenly, Krystal's purse started vibrating. "Oh god!" She said, digging around for her phone, praying she'd find it in her mess of a bag. She pulled it out and checked the caller ID, but she didn't recognize the number. She clicked answer. "I swear to god, Cosima, if you're calling me from a hotel high off your ass again, so help me god, I -"

"Hi Krystal." A man's voice replied. It was gruff, distorted by something, maybe a computer program or voice changer.

"Who is this?" Krystal demanded, her voice rising.  

"You know me." The man replied. "Don't forget that."

"Who are you?" Krystal asked again. She stopped walking and lowered her voice. "I swear to god if you're some stupid kid looking to scare me, I won't hesitate to call the cops on you."

"The cops don't help people breaking the law."

The line goes dead and Krystal tosses her phone back into her purse, slightly frazzled.

"Everything okay?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, I think some kids were just pranking me." She assured him.

"Are you sure? Because I have friends who could trace the call if you-"

"Can we drop it, please?" Krystal asked. "It's nothing."

"Yeah, sorry." Scott apologized bashfully.

Krystal waved him off. "It's cool. So, this is my apartment. Good night." She squeezed his arm and walked into the building.

Chapter Text

"You two are assholes, you know that right?" Krystal chides. Sitting on the couch before her were Cosima and Delphine. The pair of them hadn't returned until late last night, or, as Krystal had seen it, early that morning. Krystal, in all the excitement with Hector and Shay, had almost forgotten how angry she was with Cosima and Delphine. The key word being "almost." They sat on the large, red couch and seemed to shrink like scolded children.
"I could have died!" Krystal knew she was exaggerating, but still. "I could have been, I don't know, kidnapped! You'd never be able to find me!"
"Krys," Cosima started, but was quickly cut off.
"Don't Krys me, Cosima! That was super shitty of you to do! To not tell me you guys were leaving? What the hell!" She turned slightly and focused her rage on the french woman, who was currently licking the melted chocolate off of her hands. Croissant crumbs were in her hair. "And you!"
Delphine avoided making eye contact with Krystal.
"You're not off the hook, either. It was both of you that almost let me die! God, I'm so pissed, guys, like legitimately pissed off! Do you get why?"
"Yeah." Cosima quietly muttered while Delphine nodded her head.
"I felt betrayed by my friends, left to fend for myself against dozens of complete strangers!" Krystal turned and fell into the couch in between the two scientists. "I had a wonderful time."
"Really?"
"Vraiment?" Cosima and Delphine visibly perked up at that, sitting upright on the couch. Though they were still slumped by each other and sharing a blanket, they looked much more alert.
"What's she like?" Cosima tilted her head like a puppy investigating a strange sound, and in that moment Krystal finally got why Delphine called her a puppy, quietly thankful that her suspicions about it being a furry thing were far from the truth. Hopefully. 

Delphine slaps her girlfriend's arm playfully.
"Cosima, she could have met a boy! What is he like?" Delphine’s bright amber eyes gazed into Krystal’s with an intense curiosity. If looks could coerce you into spilling your darkest secrets, Krystal would be halfway through her high school experience by now.
"What's her name?"
"Or his name?"
Krystal laughed at the interrogation. "His and her names, respectively, are Hector and Shay."
"Hector?" Cosima made a face. "I think I have a grandfather named Hector."
"And I think I knew a Shay at boarding school!" Delphine exclaimed. “She lost it and dropped out during my first year."
"Okay, well Hector is, like, mid 20's, and Shay isn't french."
"Pity," Cosima said, grabbing Delphine’s waist and pulling her closer.
Krystal laughed once again and grabbed her phone from off of the coffee table. "Shay is going to call me and we're going to go to some flea market downtown."
Cosima snickered. Delphine reached over Krystal to nudge her.
"What?" Krystal asked.
"Nothing, it's just... you're not really the type."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm sorry, I just didn't think you're into stuff like that? I don't know, it's weird to describe."
Krystal made a face. "It's hard for you to think of me enjoying getting good deals on cool stuff?"
"You never want to go to them with me and Delphine!" It was true. If the two were earning commission for the amount of times they had tried to bring Krystal to the farmer’s market, they could have bought double the amount of space brownies from Cosima’s friend Leaf (space brownies which, funnily enough, were also sourced at the farmer’s market).
"That's because you two aren't possible girlfriend material." Krystal explained, standing up and stretching. "I'm gonna go shopping, wanna come with?"