Archive of Our Own ^beta

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“So, when were you going to tell me about your crush on one of my detectives” Olivia smirked, looking over at Rafael who sat beside her in the bar.

Olivia and Rafael came out for a few drinks, to catch up on life since it has been busy. the rest of the squad was on a stake out.

A group of men have been terrorizing a small neighborhood, Assaulting and attacking both men and women. The squad believed a possible gang was on the up, and this was an initiation to joining.

Currently Detectives Carisi, Rollins, and Tutuola were in an unmarked van doing surveillance.

Back at the bar, Olivia was still smiling at Barba waiting for his response.

“I’m surprised it took you this long to figure it out. Your detective skills are lacking Captain Benson” Barba snarked.

Liv laughed. “Come on Rafa! We’re supposed to be friends. I thought you would tell me something like this.”

“It’s just a stupid crush. It’s embarrassing really.”

“Embarrassing? Are you ashamed to like Carisi?”

“No. Yes. Not like that, it’s just. I’m so much older than him Liv. And more cynical, and..”

“Rafael Barba.” Liv scolded “Sonny would be lucky to date someone like you. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“I’m a miserable ass.”

“You just need someone to balance you out.”

Rafael sighed. “I don’t know Liv…I don’t think I can handle rejection.”

“Oh Rafa. You deserve happiness ya know. You should ask him out. Put your feelings out there. You might be surprised at his response.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Well then. Cheers to thinking about it!” Liv laughed, clinking glasses with Rafael.

Both took a sip when Olivia’s phone buzzed.
She put her glass of wine down, looking at the caller ID to see none other than Carisi calling.

“Speak of the devil” she smiled

Rafael rolled his eyes.

“Benson.” She answered.

“Hey captain. Any way you can meet us at the surveillance van? We think we found something on video but need your eyes for confirmation.” Carisi went on.

“On my way.” Olivia looked over to Barba.

“The team needs me. Wanna join? I drove you here anyways, and you’re 3 drinks in. Plus, it’s an excuse to see your favorite detective.” Olivia smiled, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

“Real subtle. But fine. I have nothing else going on tonight and I’d rather not spend more money on an Uber home. You were my designated driver tonight anyways.” Rafael joked, stepping down from the bar and putting his suit jacket back on from where it hung on the chair.

The two left the bar heading out to the neighborhood where the squad was.

The drive took 20 minutes, and soon they were parking on the side of a curb, sneaking over to the undercover van where the squad was.

Olivia opened the side door and stepped in, Rafael following behind.

“Captain!” Rollins said, greeting her boss.
“And Barba?” She followed immediately.

Carisi looked over once hearing Rafael’s name. “Counselor?” He smiled.

“What brings you along?” He asked, taking his headset off and turning toward the two entering.

Rafael shut the door behind him, blushing softly. The excuse in the back of his head already blaming it on the alcohol.

“Liv is my designated driver, and I got dragged along. Kidnapped really.”

“Oh please Rafael, you were willing” Liv teased back.

Rafael just blushed some more knowing exactly why he was willing.

Carisi smiled at their conversation, looking only at Rafael.

“Well then I’ll put you to work counselor. Come help me fix the resolution to this video we took. I think we found the leader to this gang but we can’t get a good look at his face. That’s why we called the captain.”

Rafael crouched further into the van now leaning over Sonny’s shoulder to watch the video from earlier tonight.

A man in the window, definitely too blurry to ID, was pacing across the room. It seemed he was shouting to others and his hands were flailing.

“Someone’s not having a good night.” Rafael muttered.

Carisi turned his head, his face mere inches from Barbra’s own. They looked at each other before Carisi let out a short laugh.

“Sorry counselor, I didn’t mean to invade your personal space. It’s quite a tight fit between all of us right now. Fin is lucky. He’s up front behind the wheel taking a break. All the room he can have to himself” Sonny laughed again, looking back at the screen.

“No worries detective. I don’t mind. I’m the one who dropped in on you all unexpectedly.”

Sonny looked back again bemused.

“You’re being too nice. How much have you had to drink tonight Barba?” Sonny teased.

Olivia was silently watching from the other side of the van where her and Amanda were fixing up the audio. She was smiling.

“I have to be drunk to be nice?” Rafael huffed. “Guess I am an ass.”

Rafael scooted back further, embarrassment taking over him. He really didn’t have a chance with the detective. He was gonna die alone.

Carisi turned toward him.
“You aren’t an ass Barba. Well…you are but..”

Rafael scoffed. Carisi turned red, even though it was dark out, the small light in the van above gave it away.

“I mean I like when you’re an ass. You’re more of a sarcastic one, not an actual one. There’s a difference Rafael. I think it’s endearing.”

Rafael smiled. “Endearing?”

Sonny laughed “I think so, yes”

Rafael leaned forward more about to continue this conversation, maybe tease Sonny more, and try his best at flirting when the door to the house they were watching opened.

“Shit! Quiet he’s on the move.” Amanda said, putting her headset back on to listen.

The man quickly ran down the driveway, staring right in their direction. The squad was too distracted to notice the car heading their way, when tires squealed across the pavement right behind them.

Fin shouted from the front seat. “Get down! They have a gun!”

Sonny quickly jumped to Barba, covering him and shoving them both the ground. Amanda and Olivia did the same, gun shots ringing through the air.

Fin started the van, pealing off, foot pressed down hard to the gas pedal. The van lurched forward, and everyone fell backwards shouting.

Fin watched from the rear view mirror the man in the driveway jump into the car behind them. Another van.

“They’re following us! Everyone hold on!” He shouted from the front seat.

“Barba you okay?” Sonny shouted.

Rafael was stunned, his back now completely on the floor of the van.

“I’m fine. I think. They’re following us?!” Rafael yelled staring at Fin who sped down the streets.

Gunshots still echoed behind them, tires screeching across the roads.

“Rafa stay down. Amanda quickly dispatch units let them know we’re being chased by the gang members.” Olivia shouted, gun in her hand at the ready.

“Fin! How far away are they!” She shouted again.

Fin made a hard right turn, everyone holding on tight.

“They’re on our tail Liv. They’re fast.” He huffed out anxiously.

“Oh my god.” Rafael gasped looking over at Carisi nervously.

“Counselor it’s okay, we’re gonna be al-“

Before Sonny could finish, the car behind them smashed into the back tire of the van. The van wobbled, swerving off the road before flipping suddenly.

It happened so fast. The van flipping over and over before landing upside down on the side of the road, halfway in the grass.

It was silent now. The only sounds were of the team groaning from the crash. Fin was trapped in the front with the seatbelt on hanging upside down. Blood dripped from his head to the ceiling below him. He groaned but was awake

Amanda and Olivia were tangled together, both of them struggling to move apart.

“Damnit.” Amanda groaned. Glass was shattered within the back of the van crunching below everyone.

Sonny was slowly leaning up on his arms, having landed on his stomach. His arms were bleeding, some glass still stuck inside him.

“Rafael?” He called looking up for him.

Rafael was directly in front of him. The giant window across the side of the van shattered into pieces. The front of Rafael’s body was inside the van, blood dripping from his forehead where he was sliced.

The back half of his body was outside the van, his legs in the grass, and his torso leaning across the window panel.

“Rafael! Are you okay?” Sonny shouted. Amanda and Olivia were starting to detangle, looking to where Rafael was laying.

Rafael groaned. “I think so..” he coughed.

From outside they heard the sound of car doors opening, voices getting closer.

“Grab one! Teach them what happens when you spy on us.” One man growled.

Suddenly two men grabbed each of Rafael’s legs beginning to drag him out of the vehicle he was half inside of.

“NO!” Sonny shouted grabbing one of Rafael’s arms. Olivia was now detangled from Amanda, and she lunged forward grabbing Rafael’s other arm.

They were now in a game of tug of war.

“Rafa hold on!” Liv shouted yanking him closer.

Rafael was groaning and shouting, the men behind him yanking harder and yelling as well.

“Grab him! Faster!” The man outside shouted, sirens now getting closer to the accident.

“No! Help! Sonny..Liv!!” Rafael was shouting.

“Hang on Rafael!! Hang on please!” Sonny was yelling, tugging Rafael as hard as he could.

The men outside were strong, lacking injuries the squad inside the van were dealing with from the crash.

The hold on Rafael became looser, his arms slipping from their grasp.

“No..” Sonny groaned before Rafael was completely yanked from the vehicle, glass being dragged outside with him scraping alongside his body

“Help! Let go of me!” Rafael grunted.

The men punched him in the stomach. He groaned and coughed.

The squad watched from inside the van their friends body be dragged away from them out of view. The sounds of grunting and hitting were heard.

“Damnit! Rafa!” Liv screamed. Dragging herself across the van floor and crawling out of the window.

Both Amanda and Sonny followed as quick as they could, Fin unable to move from where he was stuck.

Sirens got closer.

Liv was the first to exit the van, but it was too late. She lost her weapon during the crash, and she watched as the men slammed their van doors shut, beginning to drive away with their lawyer inside.

Cops were pulling up quick, sirens blaring. Olivia flashed her badge attached her pant suit at the first cop car.

“I’m captain Olivia Benson SVU, one of our own is in that van! I need you to lend me your vehicle!”

The cop stood shocked, but liv didn’t falter, she hopped inside the cop car, Sonny and Amanda following suit.

She quickly yelled out the window for the officer to save Fin , before speeding off after the van that had Rafael.

“Please Olivia! Hurry!” Sonny shouted from the passenger side.

“I’m trying Carisi! Keep an eye out for the car! We can’t lose them!”

The van was so far ahead already making a right turn. They weren’t close enough.

“Damnit! Who knows what they’re doing to him right now. He shouldn’t have even been here tonight!” Sonny was hysterical, mostly in shock and adrenaline pumping.

Olivia was gripping the wheel tight, sirens blaring and going 100mph down the streets.

“We won’t lose him detective.”

“We will find him. He’s a tough guy he can last what they give out until we get him.” Amanda reassured from the back.

Meanwhile in the van speeding down the streets with Barba, was on their way to their hidden warehouse. The place they kept their weapons, drugs, and sometimes victims when they wanted to have a little more fun than just a quickie behind the alley.

Rafael was hurting. His head hurt from the crash, and he was bleeding from several cuts on his arms and torso from the shattered window he was dragged out of.

One man drove the car, another sat passenger, and two were in the back with him. Holding him down while they duct taped his wrist together tightly.

Rafael struggled, and earned several punches to his stomach. He was leaning on his side now, his hands tied in front of him.

One of the men grabbed his hair in a fist and yanked back, causing him to groan.

“Who are you?” He demanded.

“Who’s asking” He sneered back.

He earned another punch to his stomach and a harder yank of his hair. He felt like he was close to getting his hair ripped right out of his head.

He was breathing fast, his heart pumping from fear.

“I want your name. I want to know why you and your friends back there are spying on my boss.” The man sneered back spitting on him.

Rafael cringed away shaking.

“My name is Rafael Barba. I’m an ADA.” He groaned

“An ADA? Who are your friends? Cops?”

Rafael didn’t answer. He earned another punch to the gut.

The man let his hair go, his head crashing against the floor. Rafael didn’t move. Not by choice at least. He needed another drink he thought to himself.

The car sped down a back road before coming across a small warehouse. The man in the front got out, and opened a metal door. The car drove in before the door shut behind then, plunging them all into darkness.

Then multiple light switches came on illuminating the large room.

The van door was opened and Rafael was now looking at the “boss” of these men.

He smiled. “Rafael? You really made a big mistake. Spying on a gang. Our gang? Do you know who we are?”

Rafael glared at the man. “Not really. Just some low lives who think attacking and sexually assaulting people is fun. Can’t get it up any other way? No one finds you attractive?” Rafael spat.

The man laughed. Nodding to the men behind him. The grabbed Rafael by the shoulders, and then shoved him out of the car.

Rafael landed with a thud on the hard cement floor. Groaning and writhing in pain.

The boss crouched down to his eye level.

“We are the night walkers. We own the streets, the neighborhood, and the people in it. And now we own you.” He spit on the floor next to Rafael’s head.

Rafael looked up. “Not for long. You don’t know who my gang is.”

Everyone laughed, their laughter echoing across the warehouse.

“You won’t be alive long enough to find out.”

The boss was still bent down, eye level with Rafael. He reached his hand out, caressing the side of his face.

Rafael reeled back, his head bouncing against the tire of the van behind him.

“Older than my men’s usual choices. Most my men prefer young women. I’m the one who doesn’t have a specific taste. I like them all. Short, tall, young, old, male, female. I don’t care. It’s all the same to me. It’s not just the act of sex…”

The man leaned in closer, his legs swinging over Rafael’s torso locking him in place. His arms on either side of his head.

Rafael writhed underneath him. “Get off me!” He shouted, shoving the man’s chest with his still bound arms.

The man grabbed his wrists tightly yanking them above his head.

“No. Not just the sex. It’s the fight. The person underneath you squirming and screaming. Begging for me to stop…”

“Please…” Rafael whispered, frozen to the spot.

“Yes. Just like that Rafael. Please. Stop. Don’t! Say it all! That’s what turns me on”

The man leaned down, kissing and nipping roughly at Rafael’s neck.

The men behind them were laughing and jeering. Clearly enjoying what was about to happen. Rafael continued to writhe and buck. Doing his best to fight against the man holding him down and attacking him.

Rafael was panicking. This wasn’t gonna happen. This can’t happen. This couldn’t!

Suddenly a loud bang came from outside, sirens blaring loud.

The boss stopped, growling above Rafael’s still form.

“Shit!” He screamed. The boss quickly sat up off of Rafael dragging him to stand with him.

The man pulled his gun out from his back pocket, his left arm reaching around Rafael chest pinning Rafael against him. The gun in his right hand against his right temple.

The warehouse door opened revealing Olivia, Amanda, Sonny, and uniformed officers behind them.

The men scattered. Gun shots ringing out around everyone.

The boss was backing up, Rafael as his shield, to the far doors in the back trying to escape.

Rafael saw Carisi now standing in front of them.

“Put the gun down! Let him go!” He shouted

The man’s grip tightened, gun shoved harder into Rafael’s temple. Rafael groaned in pain.

“I’ll shoot him” the man sneered

“I said. Let. Him. Go.” Sonny growled.

The two men stared each other down, before a shot rang out.

Rafael jumped letting out a sharp cry.

He no longer was being held tight. Warm liquid running down his back. Rafael was shaking

“Counselor? Rafael? It’s okay. You’re safe now.” Sonny spoke softly slowly stepping forward to a shocked Rafael.

Rafael looked ahead into Sonny’s eyes.

“I..I’m alive?” He sobbed.

“Yes Rafael. You’re safe! You’re alive” Sonny stepped closer into his view, warm hands touching down on his wrists and slowly undoing the duct tape that bound Rafael’s hands tightly together

“Thank you sonny.” Rafael whispered.

Sonny smiled. “No need counselor. Just doing my job. It’s my job to save the ones I care about.”

Rafael let out a short laugh. “Go out with me detective.”

Rafael looked into Sonny’s eyes, and sonny looked back smiling.

“You’re in shock”

“No really. Go out with me. I’ve wanted to ask you for a long time but I’ve been too scared. Im old, and cynical, and an ass.”

“A sarcastic ass remember?” Sonny smirked.

“Yes.” Rafael laughed. “Will you go out with me? A sarcastic ass?”

“Yes Rafael. I would love to”

Rafael grabbed Sonny by the shoulders and hugged him tight.

*2 months later*

“You are such an ass Barba!” Sonny shouted, shoving rafael on the couch they were both sat upon.

Rafael fell on his side laughing so hard tears came to his eyes.

“I’m just saying! You looked like a fool with that mustache! No one took you seriously you know that right? Not with that dead animal on your upper lip”

Sonny gasped, his hand covering his heart dramatically.

“That’s it” Sonny lurched forward tackling Rafael into the couch further, his fingers skittering across his side mercifully.

“Stop! Stop!” Rafael laughed, doing his best to wiggle away from the ticklish fingers of his boyfriend.

“Take it back and maybe I will” Sonny teased, not letting up on the tickling, laughing alongside his partner.

Sonny loved these moments, considering Rafael was a hard ass who rarely laughed like this. He needed it. Stress relief from his work, and from recovering from those events that happened not too long ago.

But Rafael has been doing better. He’s strong. Not much gets passed him.

He’s only had a few nightmares since that night, but ever since they started dating they have been happier than ever.

“Okay! Okay Sonny please I’m gonna pee! I take it back!” Rafael laughed loudly.

Sonny stopped staring down at his breathless boyfriend. His hair now a mess and his face flushed.

“You can’t do that to an old man. I could suffer from a heart attack you know.” Rafael snarked.

“Oh please. Don’t be so dramatic” Sonny poked him once in the stomach for good measure, smiling coyly when Rafael jumped.

“I love you” Sonny smiled.

“I love you too” Rafael said back. Leaning up for a kiss.