Chapter Text
Janus sunk out. He had expected it. They were never gonna accept him. Who was he kidding thinking they were?
He rose up in the familiar room that was the living room of the dark domain in the mindscape.
"Hey, Jan."
Janus sighed. "Remus. Whose blood is that?"
Sure enough, there was a lot of blood all over the living room.
"Excuse me for fighting my brother's dragon witch!" Remus said defensively.
Janus sighed.
"Jan! The coffee machine broke!"
"Goshdarnit Remy!" Janus yelled.
"It wasn't my fault! Remus was fighting that blasted dragon witch of Roman's! They crashed into the kitchen!" Remy argued, popping his head into the living room.
Janus sighed. He had been dubbed the adoptive father of the dark sides when they still had Virgil. Now he had to parent these two without his third adoptive son. But Virgil had a new dad now... No matter how much Janus wanted Virgil back, Virgil preferred Patton as his dad.
Then it hit Janus. "How much did you break?!" he yelled at Remus who fell off the couch in shock.
"Maybe a... few... things," Remus said nervously.
Janus sighed. "I am not absolutely furious with you and I won't force you to clean the entire house if you want to live," he muttered aggressively.
Remus jumped onto his feet and started clapping his hands to use his powers to clean the blood away.
"And fix what you broke in the kitchen!" Janus hissed.
"Including the coffee machine!" Remy agreed.
"You need to take a break from the caffeine," Janus told Remy who stuck his tongue out at him.
"I'm surrounded by absolute children," Janus muttered under his breath.
"You might want to keep an eye on Remus. He might break everything after he fixes it," Remy said, adjusting his sunglasses.
Janus swore loudly. "You're right!" he yelled before running into the kitchen after Remus.
Remy sighed and muttered: "I'm going to starbies."
Patton sunk out shortly after Janus. He rose up in the living room of the light domain. He felt bad that Janus didn't feel accepted yet.
"Popstar... What's wrong?" Virgil asked, knocking Patton out of his thoughts.
"I'm thinking of maybe accepting Deceit- I mean Janus," Patton replied.
"Bad idea, Popstar. I don't trust him."
"C'mon, Virgil. You used to be his friend, weren't you?"
"He's literally a liar!" Virgil hissed.
"I know but he has proven to not only talk in lies," Patton reasoned.
Virgil sighed. Logan walked in with his nose in a book.
"Good day, Virgil. Greetings, Morality," he said as he glanced up from his book.
"Hi, Logie!" Patton said.
"Hey, Mom," Virgil said.
Logan looked a little flustered but quickly covered it up. "Virgil. Don't call me that."
"Why do you call him that?" Patton asked.
Virgil sighed. How dense were these two?
"Never mind."
"Your favourite prince and therapist have arrived," Roman said as he walked in with Emile in tow.
"Hey, Princey, Emile," Virgil greeted.
"Hi, kiddos," Patton greeted.
"Greetings, Roman, Dr Picani," Logan greeted.
"So, what's the plan for today? My dragon witch has gone missing which is unfortunate. I was planning to fight her," Roman sighed as he sat down.
"How about we invite the dark sides to dinner?" Patton suggested.
"Absolutely NOT!" Roman and Virgil both objected.
"I actually think this is quite a good idea," Emile said as he held his notebook close to his chest.
"You only say that because you are crushing on Remy!" Virgil objected.
Emile blushed a bright red and said: "N-n-no, I'm not!"
"I actually agree with Dr Picani on this one. Having the dark sides over in a civil way can be beneficial for all of us. And for Thomas," Logan reasoned.
"I'll still be on high alert," Virgil muttered.
"I wouldn't expect anything else," Logan replied.
"I still say they don't come," Roman argued.
"C'mon, Remus is your brother," Patton said.
"Sorry, Dad, but I don't see myself having a civil conversation with that psychopath," Roman said.
"Well, you never saw yourself having a civil conversation with me but here we are," Virgil said.
"Fair point," Roman muttered.
"Virgil giving a point FOR having the dark sides here? That's new," Emile said.
"I had to knock Roman down a peg or two," Virgil said simply as he sat on the table.
"Kiddo, off the table," Patton said gently.
"I'll go and tell them that they can come," Virgil said as he stood up.
"And do be civil about it," Logan said calmly.
"Of course," Virgil said as he left.
"I hope the dark sides can make it. I'll even make cookies!" Patton said before rushing into the kitchen.
After the house was cleaned up, Janus sat down with a glass of wine while Remy and Remus wreaked havoc throughout the house.
"Don't break the TV," he called out as he put on his show.
"Remus! No! That coffee machine is brand new!"
"You can just go to Starbucks!"
"Remus! No!"
"Remus! Yes!"
"Remus. Please don't break anything," Janus sighed.
A knock sounded from the front door of the dark domain.
Janus stood up. "Remus! Remy! Fix what you broke and get in here!"
There was the sound of frantic clapping then silence then Remus and Remy rose up next to Janus. Janus put his wine-glass away and switched the TV off. Then he went to open the door.
"Ah, Virgil! What might you be doing here?" Janus asked as he looked at the emo standing in the doorway.
"Are you here to re-join the dark sides?" Remy asked, leaning against Janus.
"Sick of my brother?" Remus asked, using Janus's shoulder as an armrest.
"No, no, no... That's not it," Virgil said.
"Well, what is it?" Janus said, pushing the two off his shoulders.
"Patton... uh..."
"What about Patton?" Janus asked, trying to mask all concern.
"He wants to invite you guys for dinner in the light domain," Virgil muttered.
"What was that?" Remy asked, leaning forward.
"Patton invited the dark sides for dinner in the light domain!"
Janus stood frozen. So did Remy and Remus.
"He wants us to... come to dinner?" Remus asked.
"Yes. And you better be civil," Virgil snarled.
"Of course," Janus said.
"Can I-" Remus began.
"Keep dirty jokes to a minimum," Virgil snapped.
Remus pouted. Remy raised his hand.
"Yes, there will be coffee. Logan and I basically survive on that stuff," Virgil said.
Remy had a silent celebration.
"There is no alcohol," Virgil informed Janus. "And please don't bring your own."
Janus sighed but nodded all the same.
"Why does he want us to come?" Janus asked.
Virgil shrugged. "I think he wants to accept Janus or something. Trying to convince him it's a bad idea."
"Excuse me?! He wants to accept Janus and you're telling Janus, to his face, that you're trying to convince Patton against it!" Remus exclaimed.
Virgil shrugged. "Janus would know if I lied about it."
"I'll prove my trustworthiness," Janus said with a straight face.
Virgil rolled eyes. "Hurt my dad and I'll murder you," he warned.
"Wouldn't dream of it," Janus said.
"But I would!" Remus said.
"Do you want me to throttle you?" Virgil snapped.
"I give you my permission to throttle him," Janus said calmly.
"Nah. He'll just make... perverted noises," Virgil said.
"What can I say? That's how I make everyone too grossed out to hurt me," Remus shrugged.
Virgil sighed. "I hate you."
Remus pouted.
"We'll be at dinner. On our best behaviour," Janus said, saying the last sentence to Remus and Remy who both pouted.
"I'll see you there. By the way, Remy, I think Emile might have a crush on you or something but you didn't hear it from me," Virgil said.
Remy blushed with a smile. "Thanks for the tip," he said.
"You didn't hear it from me," Virgil said.
"Definitely not," Remy smirked.
"Why are you so nice to Remy?" Janus asked.
"Remy's chill. Sometimes, I cover his shift for him," Virgil sighed.
"I help sometimes!" Remus exclaimed.
"I would really like it if you didn't," Virgil said.
"Well, we'll see you at dinner. Bye, now, Virgil," Janus said.
"Bye!" Remy and Remus said.
Virgil gave them his two-fingered salute and left. Janus closed the door behind him and sighed.
"You can see your boyfriends~" Remus said.
The human side of Janus's face went pink as he snapped: "They're not my boyfriends! I don't even know if they like me back!"
"Whatever you say," Remy said.
"Oh, don't get me started on you. You'll probably end up f-" Remus started.
"Remus!" Remy objected, blushing scarlet.
"What? Aren't you gonna-" Remus started again.
"Remus. Stop," Janus stated.
Remus pouted and sat down like a toddler. "You never let me have any fun."
"Your idea of fun would either get us killed, sent to jail or naked," Janus sighed.
"I don't see any problems," Remus said.
"You've got to be kidding me..."
It took a while but Janus got Remus and Remy to look decent for the dinner. That meant:
- Cleaning all blood off Remus
- Making sure Remy wasn't hiding Starbucks in his jacket (he's done it before)
- Making sure Remus was going while WEARING CLOTHING
- Convincing Remy that he didn't need to do anything extra to his outfit to impress Emile
- Making sure Remy had back-up sunglasses should something - *cough cough* Remus *cough cough* - break the ones he was wearing
- Making sure they were wearing CLEAN clothing
- Having a long conversation with both of them about manners so they act civil
It was a little frustrating but he was the dad after all. They started walking through the mindscape to get to the light domain.
"No kidnapping Virgil," Janus reminded them as they got to the front door.
"You're no fun," Remus huffed.
"Can I get starbies now?" Remy asked.
"No. Are we ready to go inside?" Janus asked.
"Ready," Remus and Remy replied.
Janus knocked on the door. He could hear sliding behind the door like someone was trying to get to the door in five seconds. There was the sound of a slight crash. Janus winced slightly as Remus stifled his giggles, Remy looking at the door over his sunglasses.
Patton opened the door. Janus was breathless for a minute. Patton's face had cookie dough smeared on it. His glasses even had a speck of dough or two, clear of the lenses - that had slight smudges like he had hurried wiped them off so he could still see. Janus found it adorable. Patton pushed his hair back, getting cookie dough in his hair.
"You've arrived just in time! I just finished baking cookies! Come in!"
"Ohhh! That's why you're covered in cookie dough," Remy said.
Patton nodded excitedly. Remus elbowed Janus and wiggled his eyebrows. Janus pushed him away and neatened his hat.
"Come on in!" Patton repeated.
The dark sides entered the house.
"It's great having you here, kiddos," Patton said.
Janus frowned. He was not one of Patton's kiddos. He hoped to be a potential partner. Besides, he was the dark sides' adoptive father, not one of the kids.
"Thank you for having us, Morality," Janus said, smiling politely.
Remus and Remy smiled.
Janus looked around the room. His eyes landed on Logan who was cooped up in an armchair. His nose in a book. A pile of books on the table beside the chair. One of Logan's hands held the book while the other held a hot cup of coffee. Janus noted how Logan was sitting as straight as possible in the chair.
"Logiiiiieeeee!!! The dark sides are here!!!!" Patton announced.
Logan glanced up from his book. "Salutations, Remy, Deceit, Remus." Then he looked down again.
"No, Logie. They're over for dinner so put the books away," Patton playfully scolded.
Logan sighed and put his coffee down. He found his bookmark and placed it in the book. Then he closed the book and placed it on the pile. He picked up the cup of coffee as he stood up and approached the dark sides.
"Greetings. Thank you for coming," Logan said.
"Hey babes," Remy said.
"Hello Logan," Janus greeted.
Remus just did jazz hands as his greeting.
"I'm going to finish preparing dinner. Have fun, kiddos," Patton said as he started walking towards the kitchen.
"Patton... You're covered in cookie dough," Logan stated, trying his best to stifle a smile.
"Oh, right. I better clean up before I get to the food," Patton said, his cheeks a light pink.
He left the room and Janus and Logan both sighed.
"He's adorable," Logan muttered, trying to hide his slight blush.
"Agreed," Janus sighed, blushing slightly as well.
Both sides quickly snapped back into reality. Remus gave a short chuckle. Remy looked kind of bored.
"You... like Patton?" Logan asked the deceitful side.
"No," Janus lied.
"You know, you use a different voice when you lie than when you tell the truth," Logan said as he sipped his coffee.
Janus blushed scarlet. "Not a word!"
Logan shrugged. "What benefit would there be for me to tell Patton?"
"You like Patton too!" Janus accused.
Logan blushed deeply. "N-now, th-that's pre-preposterous! I am emotionless so I could never fall in love with someone."
"Uh... Am I interrupting something?" Virgil's voice said.
Everyone gave a short jump. Virgil was standing in the doorway.
"Viiiiiiiiirgil!! Hi!" Remus greeted.
"Hey, babes," Remy greeted.
Virgil gave them his usual two-fingered salute.
"How long were you standing there?" Janus and Logan asked in unison.
"Long enough to know you both have feelings for my dad," Virgil replied.