Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1975
Remus Lupin had always preferred night to day. He had always recognised the beauty in the moon and the stars contrasting with the black velvet sky. He believed night was genuine, it didn’t hide the world's reality. It was gloomy and unsettling to those who liked the happiness of daytime. But Remus didn’t. Remus felt he fit in with the night. His mother always said he was the moon to her, he was her light in the darkness and always guided her through hardships. That was until he couldn't guide her anymore when the darkness became so thick and blanketing that it suffocated them. Suffocated her.

His mother died in early 1967 when Remus was 7. He doesn’t know how she died and no one would ever tell him. He wonders if that is why he has such a dislike for the daytime. His mother was as soft as the day and had a heart of gold. Never angry, always happy or anxious but never angry. Remus was the opposite after she left. He wasn’t bright and happy, he was quiet and dull and he disliked those that made the world seem better than it was. Better than he thought it was.

That was until he met James Potter, and he began to question whether the sun could've been reincarnated as a person on Earth. James irritated Remus but not because he was annoying because he was so content. He seemed so, perfect. Like nothing ever bothered him, he would just forgive and forget immediately. And Sirius. God, Sirius was…something. All of Remus’ beliefs that the night was dull disappeared when he laid eyes on him. If Remus was the moon and James was the sun then Sirius was the stars. He was literally a star. The one that lights up any room or sky and has that kind of personality that instantly draws you in. Remus had never met someone like him and never felt the way he did then when Sirius introduced himself. He had seen the way James and Sirius connected straight away but then he guessed it made sense. After all, the sun is just a star.

━ 4 years earlier ━

Remus Lupin loved his wool jumpers no matter the time of year but this August morning was especially hot and with the immense stress he was feeling, he finally decided this was the one time he shouldn't wear it. He was sat on the bench in his garden, facing the gate and ‘reading’ a book. His dad had come out at least 3 times to ask him if he needed anything, worried about his joints with him sitting still for so long, but Remus just shook his head and smiled.

It was the 8th of August 1971, the day when all Hogwarts acceptance letters would be delivered, exactly one month before the start of the new academic year. Hogwarts was one of the most prestigious schools in the UK and one of the top five in Europe. It was extremely exclusive and expensive so Remus had never dreamed he would have an opportunity to attend. That is until a scholarship was announced, available to the top students from all schools. The scholarship winner would be chosen based on their performance on a knowledge test, an essay, and an interview.

Remus had taken the test first and in his opinion - smashed it. Then, he had to write an essay. The topic was straightforward: childhood memories. But how do you write about your childhood when your mother died when you were seven and your father is depressed? Remus found it difficult to put his thoughts into words when those thoughts were nearly always bottled up inside. His father was great, but they didn't have the relationship he used with his mother. She was the glue that held the family together and ever since she died, it just hasn't been the same. Remus struggled to talk to his dad about things especially when he had to just get nods or ‘hmm’ back. He thinks his father understands, that he knows it isn't his fault. Remus wishes he knew what to say to him but he was never the one for talking. However, he did manage to write his essay and he said just that. He didn't know whether it was enough, whether Hogwarts would think it was on-topic enough but he would soon find out.

Finally, the interview had taken place only a few weeks beforehand and it was the hardest aspect of the scholarship. Remus had travelled to London to meet the deputy head - Minerva McGonagall. His arthritis was especially bad that morning most likely due to the stress so the journey down south wasn’t the best. However, when he got there, despite the anxiety flooding through his veins, he felt better - all aches and pains were gone for now.

The room in which he met with McGonagall was plain and empty apart from a desk with 2 chairs. Remus thought it was rather unsettling and reminded him deeply of his mother's empty bedroom. He had cleared everything from her room but the bench where she sat and drew her artwork. He couldn't get rid of the desk - it was too special. His dad had broken down when he saw the room empty, but it had to be done. The longer it remained bright and colourful, the duller it made the rest of their home seem. Her bedroom was the only part that used to still smell like her, still feel like her. But that feeling was long gone.

The interview went fine, but like always Remus struggled to find the words that they wanted to hear. He knew others would be so much better at this aspect than him. With charisma and smiles that spoke for themselves. He wasn't like that. He did smile but most of the time there wasn't that much to smile about. Somehow though even still, he had a weird feeling that McGonagall liked him and what he managed to say. But he wasn't sure and the only way to be sure was when his letter arrived.

So there he sat, absorbing the rare English sun and facing the flowers he had planted years ago. All he wanted to hear was the soft creaking of the gate as it opened or the scratching of footsteps against the pebble path. Hours went by and he had finished his book (although he couldn't tell you what happened). His father had finally convinced him to come in for food and Remus couldn't say no. Not only was he hungry but it was rare his father came out of his room especially not to make lunch.

Remus sat down at the dinner table opposite his father and grabbed a spoonful of salad and a bread roll. They made light conversation but Lyall knew Remus was distracted and let him stare at the door. “Sorry Dad, it's just a letter is definitely arriving today but it’s not definitely good news so I’m kind of on the edge of my seat here.”

“It’s fine son, I know how much you want to go to this school.” He replied smiling weakly as he got up from the table, “Shout me when it arrives.”

Remus nodded and began clearing the table, humming to himself as he washed the plates. The humming soon turned into quiet singing that was still loud enough for him to miss the soft creaking of the gate as it opened or the scratching of footsteps against the pebble path. He dried the plates and put them away before deciding to back outside. As he opened the front door and stepped onto the step, he felt something beneath his feet. A crinkling sound filled his ears as he looked down so quickly he thought he might snap his neck. There, under his feet was a white envelope.

Remus bent down to grab it and looked at the address.

Mr Remus Lupin
10 Primrose Avenue
York

His heart fluttered and he could feel the panic spreading through his body. “DAD!”

━ ━ ━
Remus and his dad were sat in the living room, on the couch, the letter in their hands. “Just know Rem, even if you don’t get in, I'm so proud of you for having a chance to and we can find you a perfectly good secondary school nearby.”

“Thank’s dad.” He replied before slowly tearing open the top. He unfolded the letter and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Then he began reading.

━ ━ ━

Dear Mr Remus Lupin,
We were so pleased to have you as a candidate for this scholarship to Hogwarts Boarding School. You have done exceptionally well in all aspects as seen in the scores below:

Knowledge Test - 98/100
Essay - 27/30
Interview - 42/50

Not only were these scores of a high standard but what we have heard from teachers at your previous schools and extracurricular activities are nothing but positive. Therefore, with all this information combined, we would like to offer you a place at Hogwarts Boarding School on a full scholarship. The school year starts on the 8th of September and the train will set off from Kings Cross Station to Hogwarts at 9.30 am sharp. This is the only train that goes to Hogwarts so you must be on time. I will provide a full list of supplies you are expected to buy and anything else will be provided for you. It is your choice whether you choose to tell people you are on a scholarship but staff will treat you all equally as money shouldn't be a barrier for our students. Finally, if you wish to accept this scholarship we will see you on the 8th of September, if not please send a letter immediately.
Sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore

━ ━ ━

Remus' mouth was draped open in pure shock. He reread the letter over and over just checking his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. Had he actually done it? He was going to Hogwarts! Remus could feel his stomach leaping and his thoughts drifted to all the opportunities and fun he was going to have.

He only came back to consciousness when he felt his father's hand on his back. "You did it, Remus." He whispered his eyes filled with more emotion than Remus had seen in years, "Your mother would be so proud."

There was a moment of silence in the cottage as they both stood with each other not speaking with words but with their faces. It was the closest he had felt to his father since his mum had passed and suddenly felt sad that he was going to leave him all alone.

“Don’t worry about me son, I’ll be just fine. Especially knowing that you have finally gotten what you've always wanted with such useless help from me.” He looked at Remus as if he had read his mind and smiled before snatching the letter from him, “Let’s see what we need to get then huh?”

Chapter Text

King’s Cross Station burst with life as Remus and his father made their way through bustling crowds of people, each as desperate as the next to leave or catch a train. It was extremely different from the idyllic peace of Yrok they were used to, and Remus' stomach flickered with something new. Doubt, possibly or even fear, but he swallowed it down, concentrating on making it to the platform without being trampled. This proved to be much more difficult with a cane in one hand and a suitcase in the other, but they managed to make it. Finally stopping to breathe under the sign for platform 9.

“There you go, son, “ Lyall started, placing a warm hand on Remus's shoulder, “Even the train is bleeding posh”

Remus let out a huff of laughter as he looked in awe at the red and black engine in front of him. The Hogwarts crescent was displayed proudly, and students and families of all ages crowded the doors and windows.

“I’m gonna miss you, Dad.” Remus’ golden eyes looked into Lyall’s blue ones. Words passed between them, not needing to be uttered, and they stood in silence, clinging to each other in an awkward but loving embrace.

“Don’t let the poshos walk all over you, Rem, remember who you are.” Lyall passed his son his suitcases as Remus clambered onto the train.

“Love you, Dad”

“Love you more”

As the words left his father’s mouth, the train churned and screamed, marking the start of the journey. Remus waved sadly through the glass windows, and his father nodded before walking away, leaving Remus alone once again.
Instead of panicking, Remus hobbled through the carriages looking for an empty seat. He found a compartment with nothing and quickly sat down, his limbs thankful for a rest. The view from fog-tinted windows was unfamiliar, high buildings, smoke and hundreds of people as the train left London. Yet Remus watched intently, remembering his mother's drawings of places like this and the way she captured the endless chaos effortlessly.

Before he could slip into a nostalgic trance, the compartment's doors slid open and Remus's head turned. In front of him was a boy his age with messy brown hair and glasses, smiling nervously.

“Hiya mate, do you mind if we sit with you? Everyone else is full.” His voice was kind and genuine, and Remus instantly felt a comforting aura.

“Yes, of course. “ He mumbled back, smiling slightly.

Behind the brunette was another boy, cowering slightly and biting his nails. He had short blonde hair and chubby cheeks surrounding his fearful blue eyes. He was significantly shorter than the other, and Remus felt inclined to make him feel less nervous.

“This is Peter, we've been friends since primary. And I’m James, James Potter.” He held out his hand, and Remus shook it, absorbing the information.

“I’m Remus Lupin.” James smiled and nodded.

“Nice to meet you, Remus. So where are you from? Your accent doesn’t seem-” He was interrupted by the door opening once again, and in walked the most striking person Remus had ever seen.

He had long black hair reaching the top of his shoulders and pale skin emphasising the colour of his eyes. Remus was taken back by him immediately; everything about him seemed important and immaculate, down to his shiny leather shoes and uniform made of the most expensive material possible.

“Every other compartment’s full of sniffly children or money obsessives. Mind if I ruin the aesthetic in here instead?” His tone was dry and sarcastic, deeply contrasting the exspensive persona he carried.

“Er- sure mate. Have a seat.” James replied, scratching his head.

“Who are you all then?” His eyes narrowed as he stared at them all with a smirk.

“I'm James. James Potter.” Remus watched the boys interact and stayed quiet.

“As in the Hotel’s? Damn it, Mother would find you somewhat respectable. I’m Sirius Black. ” The black haired boy replied with a joking groan.

“As in the Blacks?” Peter questioned.

“Oh yes. That glittering, posh nightmare of a family tree? Tragically, yes. But don’t worry—I plan to disappoint them spectacularly.” Sirius answered.

“I'm Peter Pettigrew, and James and I grew up together. “ He spoke quietly, intimidated by the new addition.

“And you are?” Sirius turned to Remus now, his magnetic grey eyes watching him with interest.

“Remus Lupin.” His voice was calm but strong, remerging his father's words.

“Wolf boy? Have you got something to tell u, Remus?” Sirius joked, his eyes scoping over all of Remus.

“Dog star isn’t much better, is it?” Remus smirked back, and Sirius's eyes flickered with something unreadable, and he let out a loud laugh.

“I like you guys ready.”
━ ━ ━

The rest of the train ride was filled with chatter and laughter as the four boys got to know one another, settling into a rhythm with surprising ease. Remus watched the way James and Sirius clicked instantly, something familiar and effortless growing between them.
James was cheerful and kind, with a big heart and warm humour. Sirius was sharp and rebellious, his words laced with wit but softened by something quieter underneath. Peter was calm and observant, with a bright smile and quiet steadiness.
And Remus. Remus, somehow, was the glue. Genuine and funny, shifting from sweet to sarcastic with perfect timing.
They all seemed to thrive off each other. Remus found himself sharing books and quiet compliments with Peter, trading jokes and understanding looks with James, and something deeper, something unspoken, with Sirius.
Eventually, the train pulled into Hogsmeade station with a jarring screech, and the movement halted. As did the boys' endless talk.
“Come on, boys, we need to get the best spot on the bus for the view of Hogwarts.” Sirius shot up from his seat, grabbing his suitcase embroidered with the initials S.B.

“How come you know so much about this anyway?” Peter asked, copying Sirius and clutching his case.

“My cousins attend Hogwarts, so they give me all the juicy gossip.” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows as James and Peter laughed before looking at Remus, who hadn't yet moved.

“You alright, wolf boy? Aren’t you coming with us?” Remus looked at Sirius and smiled, ignoring the immense stiffness in his joints.

Remus stood up shakily, grabbing his cane in one hand and case in the other, desperately trying to avoid the curious looks from his new friends. He didn't want to keep it a secret- he couldn't keep it a secret, it was too obvious. But, he hated the sympathetic looks or judgy comments often made surrounding his arthritis.

“What’s with the cane?” Peter asked, James quickly smacking him on the arm to shush.

“Erm- well, I have a-arthritis. Rheumatoid. Affects my joints and that.” Remus stumbled over his words, suddbely appearing vulnerable and waiting for the judgment.

Instead, he saw James’ hand reach out to him, and he looked up at the boy in confusion.

“Pass me your bag then, idiot. Can’t have you collapsing before we get to school.” Remus laughed out loud and obeyed, appreciating the subtle act of kindness.

“Come on then, you lot.” Remus limped out the door, getting his movements back as the others followed, sharing the same excited smile.

━ ━ ━

The outside town of Hogsmeade was still and cold, the evening air surrounding it in a thick, dark blanket. Remus felt a sense of comfort seeing the townhouses and small shops, much like in York, instead of the London landscape. It was familiar, and Remus could easily see himself growing up here for the next 7 years.

“Hey, fine ladies, would you mind moving over there so my boys and I can have these seats?” Sirius tried, false charm coating his words.
“Er, no. Find somewhere else,” one of the girls snapped, not even looking up.
James rolled his eyes and elbowed Sirius. “Smooth, mate. Real smooth.”
Sirius shot back, “I was working on my charm.”
Remus shrugged, “Maybe try actual words next time, not puppy eyes.”
The girls laughed at that comment and looked up, finally. One in particular, a redhead with a wonky smile and a bossy voice, stood out to both Remus and James, but differently, it seemed. Whilst Remus thought she was extremely cool as she was the one who spoke up and was reading one of Remus’ favourites, Dracula, James looked like he had been struck by the bus itself.
“James Potter.” He rambled, sticking his hand out to her, “And you are beautiful, my lady.”
The girls all looked at him with wide eyes and open mouths before the redhead responded.
“Lily Evans. And you are mental.” She pushed his hand away and rolled her eyes, turning back to her book.
Sirius and Remus cackled loudly, and James frowned, his eyes going wide and deer-like. Peter shuffled to find another seat, worming his way out of the drama and worrying about the bus filling up.
“Well done, James, you’ve just gone and ruined your life already.” Sirius pushed him towards the seats Peter had saved, patting him on the back.
“I have not, I will marry that girl. Just you wait.” He replied, sitting down next to Peter, a determined gleam in his brown eyes.
“Whatever you say, Potter.” Remus drawled, sliding into the window seat behind Peter and next to Sirius.
The bus began to steadily move uphill, and Remus watched out the window with a strong feeling of awe. The Scottish landscape was breathtaking. A huge span of pine trees covered the mountain they were climbing, and below them was a dazzling lake, glistening in the setting sun.
“You okay, Remus? Your joints and everything?” Sirius' voice broke Remus out of his adoring trance, and Remus turned to see concerned grey eyes looking at his own golden ones.
“Yeah, I’m okay, thank you, the walk to the bus helped.” He replied, not breaking eye contact.
“Okay, you can talk to me whenever. Sirius Black may come across as devastatingly cool but he does care for his friends.”
Friends. The word fluttered in Remus's heart. He had never had real friends before, not like this. No one wanted to be friends with the disabled boy who had no mother. But Sirius did.
“Devastatingly cool? You don’t need to worry about my joints. More like whether your head’s gonna fit through the door.”
The boys both laughed and turned their attention back outside as the bus rounded a corner. At last, Hogwarts came into view.
It was magical.
From the towering turrets to the long-paned windows stretching across the ancient stone walls, the castle was utterly enchanting. Every wide-eyed twelve-year-old on the bus was mesmerised, their faces glowing with the same sense of awe and admiration.
Remus had never seen anything like it. And this was his home now. He was going to live in such a place.
He had never felt so lucky. So grateful. So speechless.
And he had never felt this happy, not since his mother died. For the first time in years, he felt truly alive.
━ ━ ━
When the bus stopped, the students were ushered inside the school and stood outside a huge wooden door carved with pattern. A tall lady came into view, standing above them and dressed in an emerald green dress and clutching a large scroll. Remus watched her closely, taking in her aged but kind face and strict posture.
“Welcome first-years to Hogwarts Boarding School. I am Professor McGonagall, and I am your deputy headmistress. Now, before you take your seats, you must be sorted into your houses. These are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin.”
Whispers of curiosity broke out, and Remus looked at his friend, who all shrugged except Sirius, who smirked and placed a pale finger to his lips.
“Now follow me.” Professor McGonagall opened the huge doors to reveal an immense hall decked out with 4 long tables of students and a podium in front of another table full of teachers. The lights were cosy and the smell of roast dinner filled Remus’ senses.

The tables of students quieted at the sight of the young group, and a tall, bearded man stepped up to the podium.

“Welcome, students and professors, old and new, to Hogwarts. This year will be yet another fantastic one filled with sports, study and a decent amount of fun. But before that, the first years must be sorted into their houses. Now, these houses mark the family you will be part of during your time at Hogwarts. This is for dormitories, classes, sports and the annual house points competition. Here are the options: Gryffindor for the brave and daring, Hufflepuff for the loyal and honest, Ravenclaw for the wise and hardworking and Slytherin for the ambitious and cunning.”

Remus watched the man explain and felt a pang of anxiety at the thought of being separated from his friends. Surely James and Sirius would be Gryffindor and Peter Hufflepuff, but where would he fit? He wasn’t brave or honest or wise or cunning. He was just there. Before he could worry, the man continued.

“These have been decided by your interviews, so I now welcome Professor McGonagall to read the names out.”

The teacher from before stood up and unrolled the scroll. Her voice read down the list, soon reaching Sirius.

“Sirius Black - Gryffindor”

The black haired boy smirked and made his way to the table decked in crimson, eyes meeting Remus’ for a split second.

The noise continued as more names were sorted - G, I, K. Then, finally, it reached L.

“Remus Lupin”

The world stopped as Remus waited, desperate to belong somewhere but desperate to be with James, Peter and Sirius.

“Gryffindor.”
Remus’ heart leapt with relief, and a huge smile spread over his tanned, scarred cheeks. He limped over to Sirius, who grabbed him in a hug. The rest of the sorting was perfect as both James and Peter joined Remus and Sirius, as well as the cool girl from the bus.

When it had finished, dinner was served, and Remus had never seen or eaten so much delicious food. The hall erupted with loud noise, and Remus felt at home, surrounded by people he would grow to love.

“Here’s to an amazing seven years, boys. And hopefully the start of a great friend group.” James raised his glass filled with juice and smiled as the boys cheered and agreed.

━ ━ ━

From then on, the four became quickly close friends, and a jealousy-worthy relationship blossomed deeply. Every year was the same, pranks, sports and study as they thrived in individual aspects and grew to know each other like the backs of their hands. Sirius and James were like brothers, especially when Sirius moved in with the Potters in 3rd year. Remus had quickly become best friends with the girl from the bus, Lily Evans, who introduced him to the girls that he found himself hanging out with.
And Remus and Sirius. There were no words that could capture their connection. It was something older than friendship, something quieter than the loudest laugh or fiercest joke.
They seemed to speak without speaking—understanding glances, subtle gestures, the kind of comfort that needed no explanation..
Together, they were a constellation, drawn together not by fate but by the unspoken language of the night itself—a language only they could hear.