Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Running. Running. Running.

She couldn't do much else. She couldn't think much else. Just keep running.

Even if her muscles hurt and each hard pound of her paws on the ground beneath her sent a shock of pain up her spine and down her tail.

She darted through the gates of a small town hidden in the golden sand. She put her hood up on her head, poking her ears through the holes cut in the top. She had transitioned into a more panicked stride as she looked around for an inn.

She spotted one. Finally.

“Here’s your room m’lady. If you need anything else, just let me know.”

Sh’dar clutched the brightly decorated satchel that hung by her side. She managed to get out a “Thank you, sir” before the innkeeper shut the door. She limped over to the bed and plopped down heavily, the bed frame creaking upon impact. She had attempted to flirt a bit with the innkeeper to get a lower price- but she had been bleeding all over the counter. Not very attractive, she guessed.

She sluggishly moved her furry black paws towards her feet, unwrapping the red cloth covering them and revealing blisters dotted around her normally soft pads. She reached into her bag and grabbed some red mountain berries to cover her wounds.

She was in a lot of pain. Much more than just her feet, unfortunately. The Alikir desert is very unforgiving, the moon sugar dealers attempting to strip her hide had also been a pain. She had helped an accomplice of hers steal a shipment skooma from a caravan in highrock, got caught, and now had an upsetting amount of khajiits after her. It made her feel sorry for her own race, fulfilling silly stereotypes was supposed to be her job.

But, She's much too tough. Yes- too tough for assassins and too smart for guards. She stuffed her bag full of skooma. This past month had been so hard on her and she knew exactly how to make herself feel better.

She quickly reached into her bag and pulled out a handful of tiny purple bottles. Seeing them brought a wide smile to her face. Just the smell seemed to calm her nerves, all of her muscles relaxed. She took off her black hood with a flick of her wrist, leaned back in the squeaky bed, and poured the bottles down her throat one by one- tasting the sweet nectar burning her mouth.

The dark, damp, and sad room seemed to immediately light up. She felt like she knew everything, more than Hermorah himself. She could feel the world swirling around her and couldn't help but grin like a little kitten. She purred and squirmed, feeling the soft bed just beneath her. Her teeth were pointier now, she could feel them with her paws. She started giggling uncontrollably at them. They seemed so silly to her at that moment, that she started laughing maniacally.

“HACK- agh hahahahh.. Sheggorath bless me...” She said, tears of joy in her eyes.

It felt like time completely stopped.

She froze in place, her fur standing up.

She got up and looked around her, she saw nothing. Her bright blue eyes open wide, she tried to see if she could make out anything in the darkness that surrounded her. But there was nothing. The cold wooden room of the inn had completely melted around her.

Her ears flattened against her head as she shrunk into a ball.

By the divines.

She started rocking back and forth. She could only hear her shaky breath. The skooma made her feel like all her emotions were heightened, including fear. She took a deep breath and came to the conclusion that she had taken too much skooma. She just had to power through this.

She closed her eyes tight and held herself in place. She was shaking so much it felt like she was vibrating. She quietly attempted to calm herself, repeating; “This isn't real. You took too much skooma. This isn't real. Don't you dare overdose. This is-”

Her panic was interrupted by a bright light coming from- something. She opened her squinted shut eyes to find herself curled up in a white chair with golden padding. Across from her was a balding breton with a nose like a bird, a table in between them. He was dressed quite impeccably- it was the first thing Sh’Dar noticed. He tapped his fingers together impatiently.

“Can I do something for you, khajiit?” He inquired.

She had already taken her feet off her chair before she realized she was completely naked and quickly covered herself… with herself.

“Oh, don't be so shy. I’m not interested in… that.” He said. He had such a solemn demeanor, each word that came out of his thin mouth seemed to flow together into a.. sad, bleak, pathetic sentence.

She relaxed her body, letting her ears perk back up. She took a look at her surroundings. Her tail wove around wildly as she scratched at her fur like an addict. Was this just another hallucination? She felt fairly sober, and this felt quite real. She wasn't bound, so she couldn't have been kidnapped. Her head hurt horribly. It was making it hard to think. Damned skooma. She just felt.. Confused. But, she decided to go along with it- no point in fighting.

She rocked back and forth like a child, letting her eyes wander while perched up on her chair. “Where did you take me?” she ran her finger over the side of the desk, “It's quite nice, I love these colors.” She said, her tail twitched in the air- putting her distress on display.

“You're in the Shivering Isles, khajiit. Realm of Sheogorath, prince of madness. Lord of the never-there. The mad god assures me you're here for a reason, if that eases your worries.”

Sh’dar stopped moving and twisted around to lock eyes with the breton. “Sheggorath?” Her black ears twitched, the fluffy fur on the tips waving viciously. She cocked her head slightly, asking; “So, you're..?”

“Haskil, chamberlain to the lord Sheogorath.” He replied bluntly.

“Mm, you're quite the lucky one Haskil,” She unneededly added. “As a kitten I dreamed of serving lord Sheggorath.” She giggled lightly and grinned, “...I had a shrine to him in my chambers as a teenager. You know- I almost got locked up this one time in Elsweyr because he wanted me to-”

Haskil only sat through this torture for a moment before interrupting her. “Please, mortal. I love chatting but I have much to do. Sheogorath is not very patient.” He sounded like he was begging her. She abided.

“Will you enter, or not? Please make your decision, khajiit. The anticipation is just too much to bear.”

“Oh! Uh-” She hesitated, rubbing her thumb back and forth on her claws. “Am I allowed to ask what I’m here for?”

“I believe you're here to become our lord's… ‘Champion’ now, please make up your mind. The tension is almost palpable.” It's possible he might be a bit impatient.

She bit her lip and quickly said “Sure.” so she wouldn't have to make the decision herself.

“I’m sure my lord will be most pleased to see you Sh’dar,” He flashed a quick smile “Enjoy your stay~”

Chapter Text

She stood in the middle of a stone pathway, completely bare. 

Sh’Dar wasn't unfamiliar with the wild.

In fact, she'd say she knew it well.

As a kitten, Sh’Dar had mostly taught herself how to survive. Khajiit age quickly so she was able to learn at a younger age than most men and mer. In Elsweyr, she talked with clan-mothers and experienced traders- her Ohmes mother was never really around, so she had a lot of time to kill. It was lonely. She had always been a quick learner- especially when she was a kid, so many of these clan-mothers and traders would slip her a couple septims if she helped around.

She never was allowed to leave the jungle though. She was a very capable kitten- perfect for dunmer slave traders. No, instead she stayed in a small town deep in Thenmar Forest.

Shes not quite sure if thats really the truth. She was lied to a lot as a kitten, and she doesn't remember much from when she was young. Living in the last two decades of the 3rd era, most of what went on was just moon sugar trade. She assumed much of it she wouldn't want to remember.

That was before she moved to Bravil with Tazzarri. 

Sh’Dar squeezed her eyes shut to get herself to stop thinking. She didn't want to even think about him.

She gathered some cloth from a nearby shrine to Sheggorath to cover her body. She scratched at the sides to make pieces she could tie it together with. It was awkward trying to tie it around her own body, it took her a couple tries to really get it right. She shrugged, grabbed a bag of gold, and made her way to what she assumed would be Passwall. It was really the only road she had, so it made sense.

She had mixed feelings about being in the madgods realm. This was practically a wet dream for her former teenage self. She used to be a very devoted follower. It's surprising she's still alive, considering Sheggorath's reputation. She did wonder what had happened to that wide-eyed teenager… what had made her change?

She was very excited to meet him, though. She felt light and airy, just thinking about seeing the god she idolized made her heart purr, and her pelt grow warmer…

She stopped in her tracks, her eyes widened. “Kaaka vara jer krozij?? Jera vara ma'i.'' She cursed in her native tongue, attempting to shake it off. She pushed herself to continue forward shamefully. 

She couldn't stop thinking. Her mind kept wandering to places she didn't want. Her tail waved away behind her, and each step she took seemed to provoke a new thought.

She felt childish- like she was trapped in that small body again. This desire didn't feel like her own.

She aggressively walked through big crumbling white arches, approaching a small town just outside the gates of madness. 

She didn't stop to talk, as she was much too eager to meet the madgod. She passed by small groups of people quickly, walking to an inn just before the gates of madness. 

Sh’Dar had been kissed by Sheggorath at birth, but many other khajiit would call it a curse. Much of her former years were spent in social isolation. She felt very alone as a kitten, and she felt very alone now. As a child, she truly believed Sheggorath to be the only entity who really understood her. She had a very narrow worldview being so young, and his openness and unpredictability intrigued her.

She wasn’t sure how she felt now. She wasn’t sure how she felt about anything. 

Her violent and unpredictable tendencies started very young due to this- which made her excel in her career. She's an incredibly experienced and talented assassin, sometimes a thief as well. She felt bad for completely giving into the stereotypes of her people but it's something she truly loves doing. Silly things like that shouldn't stop her from her duty.

She gets distracted quite easily, but she believes it makes her very observant. Distrusting and loud, creative and spontaneous, dedicated and picky. All of these gifts she had been given by Sheggorath had been a great help to her. Was he really as bad as many seemed to think? 

The loud creak of the inns wooden door seemed to silence her thoughts. She stepped in to see an asleep altmer behind the counter, and a bosmer sitting proudly in a chair reading a book. She couldn't quite make out what he was reading.

She stepped up to the counter, taking out a couple of septims. 

“Hello-” 

“Hello, I’m Dredhwen. No one was running this place until I got here. They left plenty of things behind, though. What do you need?” She seemed very tired, her body moved around sluggishly and she yawned every other sentence. It was making her eyes water and her nose run, leaving both red and puffy.

Stunned by her quick interruption- and the fact that she can talk, Sh’Dar bluntly replied; “I’m new in town, my name is Sh’Dar Lunar. I need a room for the night, I’ll be leaving in the morning. You wont need to worry about cleaning up.” She placed 10 shiny gold septims onto the counter in front of her. She had planned her journey completely, with room for adjustments. Dredhwen sluggishly picked them up and yawned.

“A new person in town? Maybe someone to talk to on long, sleepless nights.” She sleepily smiled, grabbing a key from under the wooden dresser she used for business. “Here's your key, I hope you can sleep well. At least better than I do.” 

She could feel the bosmers eyes follow her as she walked up the crooked wooden steps to her room. 

She didn't get a very good look at him, but he didn't seem like most bosmer men. He had sharp, warm features and short pointy ears, but he had more muscle and seemed just a bit taller.

She put the rusted key into the door, jiggling the handle and pushing herself into the door to get it open. She almost collapsed on the floor from putting all her weight onto it. The door was swollen with holes. So much for privacy. 

She walked over to a dresser beside the bed, finding a long black dress with shorts underneath. Someone must've left this here. This would do wonderfully! 

She untied the cloth that barley covered her fuzzy body, and threw it on the bed behind her. She walked up to the mirror mounted on the wall, checking her spiky teeth in the reflection. She brushed her claws through her curly hair and smiled at herself. 

She slipped on the black dress, it pushed up her cleavage uncomfortably. She had to readjust it a couple times to get her fur to not stand up from the pressure. She tied the two black straps around the back of her neck, and frivolously spun in a circle.

Sh'Dar stopped observing herself after catching something moving out of the corner of her eye. She looked through the holes in the door, seeing the bosmer from earlier standing uncomfortably. 

“Are you- uh.. done changing?” His deep scruffy voice erupted from behind the door. He sounded flustered, she assumed he had been peaking through the door. It wouldn't be very hard anyway. Bosmers we’re traditionally very sexual- so it was only logical. This wouldn’t be the first time she had caught someone creeping up on her. 

“Just come in anyways!” She responded.

He jiggled the handle and tried to push the door in. She had to walk over and pull it open for him, tripping on her long dress in the process.

She cursed, reaching over to the bosmers belt and grabbing a knife.

"Mor kha'jay.. I've always hated these long dresses. Too constricting." She said, using the knife to rip the long fabric off of the dress and just leaving the shorts underneath. It let her tail poke out freely, and was noticeably more revealing.

The bosmer snatched his silver knife back, "What a wonderful introduction." He spat.

She could finally get a good look at him now. His dark black hair clashed well with his fair skin, and his scruffy goatee made him look a bit like a jekosiit. His dark red eyes and sharp teeth showed his vampiric roots plainly. The cloak he adorned looked like something of a mage or monk- what was he here for?

"If you wanted a better or friendlier introduction, you could've talked to me earlier instead of creeping up on a naked woman." She stated plainly, getting up and brushing herself off. She noticed the hard-covered book still in his hand. Curious about the contents, she pointed to it, "Are you an avid reader?" she asked.

"Well- that's why I approached you." He said, handing her the book. She noted that he had hair all down his arm, though it fit him well. She carefully grabbed it from his hands, making sure her claws didn't scratch the cover. She turned the book around, reading her full name on the front. 'Sh'dar Sheggori Lunar: Troubling Child'

This wasn't the first time she had seen this man's work. She recalled her first time, sitting in the Cheydenhal sanctuary being approached by her sister. They weren't siblings by birth, or by any rights. Just under the Night Mother. That seemed to have brought her some sort of comfort. She was only 12 at the time and had been a member for 4 years, her sibling had just joined a couple moons ago. She didn't survive very long.

She started to mope over her childhood in the Dark Brotherhood. Many people in and out, alive then dead. Not that she didn't like death, it just never suited her siblings well.

Sh'Dar always had a taste for death but a recent brush with it had left her confounded. Killing was her life's work- an art form she had practiced and perfected over the course of her life. But it had now taken everything from her.

All of this now... why did she have to see this now? Was this man just trying to make her upset? He must know. He thinks she killed him. She wouldn't be blamed for his death. She wasn't going to stand idly while another person judges her for decisions that had to be made. This wasn't her fault.

Her ears flattened and she shoved the book into the bosmers hands. "I've already seen this." She snarled. She blinked away tears, snatching up the knife from his belt again. She pointed it towards his neck, her tail wrapped around his body- pushing herself closer to him. "Are you playing something with me Sargent?" She hissed in his face, pushing the knife closer to his skin.

The scruffy man winced in pain as the sharp knife made a small cut below his chin. He frantically responded; "No- uh, Sargent? No, no mam'.. I-I promise I'm not. I don't mean any trouble please I just wanted-" 

"Ah- really? I am no wafiit, shaveskin. I can smell intent from a MILE away. Are you here about Lucien, huh? Has she finally come to collect me as well? Because this one will NOT be caught doing the Black Hands dirty work. They can shove it up jaadi dena. Especially after what they did to Lucien. Vaba sheggori.... after Everything HE did for them..." She released the bosmer out of distress, her paws on either side of her head. 

She pointed the knife towards him aggressively, asking "Kaaka vaba your name, bosmer?" Her eyes glistened with sorrow, a few droplets resulted and clutched to her fur.

"Uh- oh it's Aelthir.. I knew Lucien and was reading your book-"

She sighed and sniffled, "That book is not mine. Some anonymous jekosiit wrote a book about me when I was a kid." She had calmed herself a bit, but kept his knife. "If you were really with the Black Hand, I doubt your reaction to a threat would be so extreme with no sexual innuendo. You're fine for now, bosmer scum." She crossed her arms, leaning back against the rotten bed frame.

He curled his lip at the insult, but stayed silent.

"You knew Lucien?" She inquired.

"Yeah- we were good friends for a little while. I caught him hiding a body in Valenwood, we got into a fight, ended up stumbling over to the bar for a drink all bloody and bruised," He smiled to himself. "I'm not sure if you remember me-"

Sh'Dar grinned slightly as a faint memory of the pale vampire came back to her. "Oh- yeah! I remember you visiting us a couple times. You were a real asshole back then... from what I remember."

"Hah.. yeah. I kinda was.." He awkwardly looked down at his feet. "Anyways- Lucien was a very shady guy, so my dad wasn't very fond of him. Despite that, we stayed in touch over the years... he mentioned you in his letters." He looked at her with pity. She didn't like it, but was too upset to get mad at him again. "He wrote about you a lot, you know. He cared a lot about you."

"Don't rub salt in my wounds." She snarled. "How did you recognize me? Or, how did you track me down?"

"Even if I only knew you from description, you're not easy to miss. Lucien had asked me to find you if anything had ever happened to him. He's lucky I'm good at my job."

"Your job?" Did Lucien hire someone to take care of her? You've got to be kidding.

"Yeah, I track things down for people. Old antiques, family heirlooms, and I guess living things now- too. I'm just here to make sure you're all right, Sh'Dar. And you shouldn't worry too much about how I got here." His pearly white teeth stuck out from the thick black hair that crowded around his mouth. Sh'Dar wasn't sure how she wasn't supposed to worry about how he ended up in a daedric princes realm, but she let it go out of anger.

"Well, I don't need a sitter. I'm more than capable on my own. Lucien- of all people on Nirn, should've known that." She responded, letting a gust of air escape from her nose like a bull. 

Aelthir noted how she aggressively used her hands while she talked. In an attempt to console her and talk some sense into her, he said; "I'm not here to take care of you, Sh'Dar. I'm just here to accompany you for awhile. I understand losing him was probab-"

"Probably? Don't stand here and act like you care or understand how I'm feeling." She snapped, her tail waving and twitching aggressively in the air. "I'm okay if you just want to stalk me but don't make it all sappy. I'm NOT stupid." She hopped over the foot of the bed and landed on the uncomfortable and dirty sheets. She set the knife on her bedside table. 

Aelthir was taken aback, but decided to stay quiet in order to not provoke her anger further. He was just doing a favor for a friend. Why did she have to be so aggressive?

After some silence, Sh'Dar ushered him out- saying; "You can go now. I'll see you tomorrow." 

Aelthir sighed and waved around, his black cloak following him as he exited the room. The awkward exchange had left them both feeling tired and empty.

What made it worse, is they were just staying a wall apart.

Chapter Text

They had stayed quiet the entire morning.

Sh'Dar got up a little late, Aelthir had been awake all night. 

They left Passwall quickly and didn't stop. Sh'Dar insisting on following her previously prepared plan, they seemed in constant motion since before the break of dawn.

The moon was just starting to set- the sunrise now beautifully peaking through alien-like trees.

Despite their squabble earlier- Sh'Dar didn't really mind the company much. It was nice having someone on the road with her again. Last time she had a travel companion was her time in Morrowind. She had missed the feeling of another person.

Not physically though. By the gods- she would never. Never.

She had tried cracking a few jokes but her mood was already sour. She hadn't had anything to ‘calm her nerves’ in almost 2 full days. Being in the rhythm of travel seemed to keep her mind off of the horrible aching cravings that crept up on her every so often. It didn't help that Aelthir took a swig of his flask every few minutes.

She tried to keep her hands, mouth, and feet busy so she didn't have to focus on what she was feeling. She had been rambling the whole walk, not really caring if she was annoying her companion.

The mention of Lucien the day before had her on edge. Since he passed she had been avoiding him. Not him specifically, of course, but anything that reminded her of him. Talking to the night mother, being in the Cheydenhal sanctuary, the smell of dried blood, the shine of a sword... even just the way Aelthirs black cloak moved reminded her of him. Anytime she got a small reminder she got angry all over again. Angry at the carelessness of her fellow brothers and sisters. She could almost see his mutilated body in front of her, dripping his own blood on the floor... the same liquid that gave him life over the hands of the siblings she loved and trusted.

"Woah-oh. Don't start going all crazy on me." Aelthir teased, floating closer to her. "I'll have to REALLY get you then. No funny business either."

His jokes actually calmed her down. She was still angry, but kept rambling to distract herself.

She recalled the tussle with the bosmer once again. She missed the strong feeling of power she had gotten. The adrenaline rush that surged through her when threatening him. Thinking of the fear she saw in his eyes... her stomach felt warm.. gods, she missed killing regularly. The smell of blood.. her victim's lifeless body...

She hoped that this wouldn't take too long.

Aelthirs journey hadn't been too bad so far, though. They had left before dawn to beat the sun, so he didn't need to worry much.

He had found Sh'Dar very amusing to be around. She bobbed up and down when she walked, and was almost constantly perky- even last night. When she was mad she was more jester-like than ever. She had been talking the whole walk, but he didn't mind it. It was much better than complete silence.

He thought back to Luciens letters complaining about the Dark Brotherhood exiling her due to her 'insanity'. She didn't seem very crazy for a mortal who had seen the kind of things she had. She seemed perfectly reasonable considering the situation she was in .... but he assumed he didn't know her well enough to determine that. 

She's very passionate about things that seemed.. unimportant to him. They had stopped many times to observe plants, animals, or bugs. Sometimes he couldn't even tell what she was looking at. She would ramble 'something about something' before she started hop-skipping down the rocky path again. He watched her face hone in on these seemingly insignificant details in their journey, but it didn't bother him much.

Not that he was sober enough to care. 

He was never really sober enough to care, but that was a good thing. He liked it that way.

It had always been that way.

He took another swig, shaking his head at the sour taste.

"If youre going to be drunk, you should at least share!" Sh'Dar had mindlessly joked, but they both knew all drunks were selfish.

There was no way he was sharing.

He stared at the rising sun, pulling up his hood to prepare for its hot gaze.

...

He was starting to regret his intoxication. 

He watched as Sh'Dars hips swayed back and forth, back and forth- her tail waving away behind her. Her shorts were too short. Too tight. Her beautiful and tangled bouncing hair, her confident walk. She was so cute..

Fuck, what was he thinking? He didn't even remember how old she was, and she barely even remembered him. But she was so pretty. He was drawn to her.

She had grown up to be a beautiful woman.. with fresh warm blood..

He had always wondered what it was like to be with a mortal... who hasn't? He hadn't been with anyone in decades, not since he left his father. He felt like had a good grip on his urges, exuding self control whenever necessary. But, gods, it was much different right now. He felt light headed- lustful thoughts now taking over his mind and body as he felt the warmth that had gathered in his stomach finding its way to his pants, making them tighter.

He was starting to sound like his father. He felt like his father.

By the gods, he was such a creep. He tried focusing on anything but her walking in front of him.

But he deemed it impossible.

Soon he found himself on the ground, his head pounding.

"You're kidding me." Sh'Dar scoffed, grabbing his hand to help him on his feet. She snatched his pig-skinned flask beforehand and attempted to empty the rest of it contents into her gaping mouth, resulting in only a few droplets. "If you're going to get shitfaced you could at least leave some for me." 

"I am NOT drunk." He claimed, pulling his hand away from hers to get up on his own. "You're just-....these rocks are slippery." He pointed to the rocky path beneath them, shifting his feet awkwardly.

That wasn't a lie. His tolerance for alcohol was insanely high- all due to his father and his followers. He almost wished he was shitfaced so he didn’t have to feel the shame he felt now.

He knew how his dad would feel about this. His oldest son couldn’t even act right in front of a mortal... he was supposed to be good at this. That's what his father was made for, why can't he do it?

Who knows. Maybe shes into dumb guys? 

No. He wasn't going to pursue her. That would be wrong, and gross.

His feet lifted off the ground as he floated behind her, fully deciding to not act on his desires.

"Yeah. Whatever-" Sh’Dar joked, waving her hand in the air. She turned around to hide her blushing face. 

He was so absent-minded. So stupid. Dumb vampire.

She'd wrapped some spare cloth around her waist to keep Aelthirs knife in place that morning, so she strapped his empty flask to the other side. She noticed that she had started collecting his items.

Sh'Dar stopped again.

Aelthir, who floated behind her, let his sandals touch the ground lightly.

"Man, what is it this time?" Aelthir asked, crossing his arms. He seemed annoyed, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. Each time she had stopped, Aelthir had smiled smugly at her 'weird' interests. She knew he enjoyed her ranting despite his constant teasing.

The moon reflected off his dark eyes as he stared her down. They'd been walking all day, both in the hot beating sun and the cold night.

"This time, I'm just tired." Sh'dar said plainly, sitting on a rock beside the path and sighing. Normally, if she had some skooma, she'd take a bit before a long journey and get to her destination in no time. She was starting to regret taking as much skooma as she did earlier. She really should've saved some for now. Maybe she could've somehow snuck the rest with her to the Shivering Isles? Sheggorath loves addicts too, right? Or was that just Sangiine? She probably could've persuaded Haskil...

"Well, if you got up off your ass and walked just a couple steps," He pointed up the road, "there's a camp just up ahead." Aelthir said, reaching out his hand to help her off of the rock.

His words interrupted her inner-monologue. She got up on her own and headed towards the shack. 

"I guess we got lucky." She smiled.

Aelthir rolled his eyes jokingly at her lack of acknowledgement. 

...

They sat adjacent from each other, a candle they had found earlier flickering between them. The two bedrolls they sat on top of cushioned the space between their bodies and the hardwood beneath them.

Aelthir was writing his daily entry in his journal he had pulled from his bag. He took off his black cloak to soak his skin in the moonlight, now just wearing his loose black pants. Sh'Dar had found some charcoal and was sketching on a ripped piece of paper.

They both seemed to be minding their own business- but there was a small bit of tension between the two. And, though Aelthir would never admit it out loud, he liked the company.

"You know, you should shave your beard." Sh'dar said matter-of-factly, breaking the silence while still sketching on her paper.

"What? No." Aelthir responded quickly. He placed his pencil down and looked up at her, his fluffy hair waving around. "Why?"

"You'd look so much better!" She said enthusiastically, now looking up at him. The dancing candlelight reflected off her short fur.

"Why should I listen to you, Sh'Dar? What's your stance on my level of attractiveness?" He teased slyly, closing his book and tilting his pale head. 

"I'm your target audience! I'm just giving you feedback, man." She smiled at him.

"Woah- be careful there. You almost sound like you're coming onto me." He started to float in front of her, lying down and staring at her with a smile plastered across his face. His dark eyes bore into her- butterflies now gathering in her stomach. Why did he have to be shirtless? This was dumb.

He had done this since she was a teen. Playfully flirting just to mess with her and make her uncomfortable. But oh, no. She wouldn't let him win.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm not trying to flirt with you Aelthir, don't flatter yourself," Aelthir put his hands up defensively. Gods, she hated when he did that. She watched his muscles move under his thin skin... this was stupid. He was stupid. She turned and pushed the sketch in her lap to his face. "I was sketching you without it. See? You look SO much better!" 

Aelthir grabbed the messy paper and stared at it, his mouth agape "Wow Sh'Dar.. This is good," He paused and turned on his back, smiling before handing her back the paper. "You must be really obsessed with me.." He laughed, his deep voice echoing. 

Sh'Dar crumbled up the paper and threw it in his face. She pounced on him quickly, whipping out his knife and forcing him to the floor with a loud thump. They rolled around tangled together, fighting for power.

She'd found the adrenaline rush she had prayed so desperately for.

Aelthir hadn't expected her to be as violent as this. Normally, people just laughed it off and pretended like he didn't say anything. It was a nice change of pace.

He wrestled with her with a wide smirk on his face. He tried to focus on fighting with her, but it was hard. He didn't need to think about her petite body pressed against him, thrashing wildly. He didn't need to think about how easily he could just grab her and do whatever he wanted with her. He was immortal and powerful and she was just a small mortal filled with young, warm blood. 

He let her win, knowing what he'd end up doing if he didn't.

She pinned both of his pale rough hands above his head. "HAHA! Gotcha!" She boasted, cutting the cloth from her waist and tying his wrists together.

Fuck. Why'd she have to do that? He let her win, wasn't that enough for her?

He felt blood rush down to his pants, but she was so small in comparison to him that she wasn't low enough on his torso to notice. He attempted to level his breath and prayed she wouldn't question his change in demeanor. 

"W-What a submissive position.. what're you going to do to me?" He asked semi-confidently, masking his arousal.

Sh'Dar blushed lightly and grabbed a bucket of water to splash on his face. "You're lucky I know what I'm doing.. just don't make it weird."

He widened his hands defensively. "Hey- I didn't tie myself up, You did. YOU made this weird."

She took his chin in her fingers, pointing his face towards her. She pressed the knife to his cheek and stroked it down. "I'm doing you a favor, Aelthir. Don't complain."

He grunted in response.

...

She dipped her blade in the water, and shaved the last chunk of black hair off of his face.

His demonic eyes peered into her impatiently. "I'm done!" She announced, smiling.

He sighed a relief, his hands releasing from the cloth as she cut it with her knife. He reached to his face to feel the soft skin. He hadn't shaved in a long time, only occasionally trimming his beard. This smoothness fit his face. Damn, she was right.

Sh'Dar dismounted him. He felt a sense of longing as her warm body left a cold spot on his torso. 

"Was it really that important to you?" He asked, getting up from the hardwood. 

"Not really," Sh'Dar responded, stretching her arms up and yawning. "You really should be thanking me, Aelthir. You look MUCH better."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." He scoffed while floating towards his bedroll. 

"Well, I'm going to get some shuteye. I'll see you in oonpal." She waved at him, getting snug in the bedroll that had been left behind. Aelthir settled into his own, pulling the covers over his exposed torso.

He had closed his eyes, but his mind kept wondering. 

He stared up at the moon and thought about their wrestle earlier. The adrenaline rush he had gotten. The idea of cutting her open and seeing her warm fresh blood... sinking his fangs into her beautifully exposed neck...

His pants tightened around him once again. Though he hadn't felt this way for very long, he felt a yearning for her that he had never felt before. It was almost an obsession, invading his mind and body. He needed her.

As his mind was lost in his fantasy, his body seemed to move on its own. His hand glided down to his shaft and rubbed it through the thin cloth. He thought of her shallowly breathing under him, squirming and begging for more. He thought about turning himself invisible and grabbing her now, taking her whether she liked it or not. How warm she would feel- the sounds she would make.

Gods, was he going crazy? He doesn't actually want to do that... right? 

He seemed to realize what he was doing but couldn't bring himself to stop. She was just sleeping right beside him. They were only just a few feet apart. Fuck, that just made him even harder. He focused on his breath, making sure she wouldn't hear his uneven sighs. Each motion he'd make with his hand sent a pulse of pure pleasure through his body. 

More fantasies flashed through his mind as he let his hands drift down his pants to his dick, gripping the warm base. He pulled his other hand up to cover his mouth and felt the unfamiliar smoothness of his chin. It made him think of how she felt on top of him earlier.. how he had been twitching under her from something so small...

By Dibella he was touch starved.

He stroked himself slowly while taking an occasional glance at the khajiit sleeping beside him. He was worried she would wake and see his degeneracy, but seeing her lying there just drove his arousal further. The blanket hugged her small waist and her long breaths pushed her cleavage up and down slowly. He almost wanted her to catch him.

He bit his lip from under the rough fingers covering his mouth. He closed his eyes as he picked up the pace and thrashed around wildly- lost in ecstasy. Lost in himself. He didn't care if she saw him now. He hadn't felt this good since the Alessian Slave Rebellion.

He softly moaned under his breath, his thoughts muddled and hard to formulate. All he could think of was her. The wet sounds from his pre-cum made his heart jump- but he didn't stop. He couldn't stop. He thrust up into his own hand desperately, his other hand gripping his face so tight his knuckles turned white. He whimpered quietly hoping she wouldn't hear how needy he was. He wanted her so bad that he couldn't keep himself quiet.

He felt his arousal reaching its peak once he heard a soft whimper from the other side of the campsite.

No fucking way.

The small sound coming from Sh'Dars mouth made him release quickly, electricity surging through his undead body as his warm seed splashed over himself. He regulated his shaky breaths to make sure he didn't disturb her. 

He sat there for a moment, recovering from the burst energy just before. He turned his head to see Sh'Dar covering her mouth- just the same as him. She squirmed under the soft blankets. Her ears pointed back, her eyes shut tight. There was no way this was happening. He must be dreaming. 

The longer he looked at her, the harder it was to deny reality. He looked up at the moon again and smiled to himself.

What a fucking slut.. right there beside him..

Oh, he was going to have so much fun with this.

Chapter Text

Sh’Dar stumbled to the entrance of Bliss, almost collapsing on white arches that framed a shiny golden door.

”Welcome to the city of Bliss, mortal. Lord Sheogorath is awaiting your arrival.” A golden guard spoke.

The walls of the city were white and overgrown with colorful plants. The splashes of color made it almost look like a painting

Sh’Dar was too tired to talk. She pushed the doors open and hobbled to the fountain that decorated the entrance to the vibrant city. She sat, sighing and relaxing her muscles. That walk was much longer than she anticipated. 

She waited for Aelthir to catch up. She wondered how he seemed to manage in the blazing sun. 

Vampires didn't really scare her. She had been friends with many of them, they're usually very clever.

But Aelthir had never seemed very clever.

Maybe he had a different strain of vampirism? Or had come from a long line of other stupid vampires?

She had to admit, his stupidity made him kinda cute.

Too cute.

Yuck.

She watched as his black and white figure appeared over the horizon. He had a serious look on his face and walked in strides. She squinted her eyes to see his freshly shaved and angular face. He looked much, much better. Almost how he looked when she was a teenager. She pushed away the warm feeling that gathered in her stomach.

That would be gross. Hes too old. 

She laid down on the white bricks dramatically, putting one paw into the clear water. She closed her eyes for just a bit and let the beaming sun soak into her black fur.

…

Something poked her face.

She jumped up, clawing at the air instinctively.

"WHAT IN OBLIVION-" She heard a deep familiar voice shout.

She snorted, laughing at her mistake. "Shit... I'm so sorry Aelthir-" She muttered, seeing the blood seeping from his black cloak. She had ripped a hole in the heavy cloth protecting him from the hot sun.

She covered her mouth to hide her smirk.

"It's-" He hissed, feeling his skin burn from the heat. Gods this hurt.. "Fine, it's fine. Can we please go inside somewhere?"

She grabbed his arm and pulled him into a nearby shop- which just happened to be a bar. What a coincidence. Aelthir sat heavily at a nearby table while Sh'Dar snatched the rest of her stolen septims and placed them on the counter.

"Can we get a couple drinks?"

"Of course!"

Aelthir had gathered that Sh'Dar was a very giggly drunk. 

After she had patched up his cloak and bought drinks, they shared stories back and forth. His childhood in ‘Valenwood’, and her time traveling almost all of Tamriel.

He didn’t want to tell her where he was actually from. He was honestly embarrassed.

Sh'dar was very resourceful. He assumed her cutting her dress the other day was just acting out of her own annoyance, but she was apparently quite skilled. She said she used to help 'clan-mothers' make clothes and harvest moon sugar in Elsweyr. Khajiit culture was so funny. He had mostly let her talk, he was more interested in hearing her stories than telling his own.

She was also much more drunk than he was.

"OH- You know, there was this one time I was traveling with this group of bards- because I used to play music around Tamriel.. I think I mentioned that earlier- but we had stopped somewhere in Skyrim. Now, nords in Skyrim are much more ignorant than the ones I have met in ANY other province." She took a big sip of her drink, slamming the cup down on the table sloppily. 

"And I'm sure they had no idea what to do with you." He playfully teased.

"Yeah! When they saw an all-black sassy beautiful khajiit, they almost didn't know what to do with me!" She cackled at her own joke. Her laugh was so genuine that it made his heart feel all warm. He laughed along with her, amused by her exaggerated hand gestures. 

"Most of them had never seen a khajiit, at least not a female one. They had just heard stories of rabid beasts deep in the jungle," She snorted at the idea.

He wasn't sure if it was just his inebriation, but listening to her ramble on never seemed to get boring. She kept him engaged and focused like he was reading a novel. Her raspy voice made him smile, and her eyes practically sparkled.

He felt so corny. He knew his father would hate that he thought like his. He was supposed to love just the rough fucking part of a relationship, nothing more. Not that he didn't like that. He just wished he was allowed to actually like her. Sh'Dar seemed almost perfect. Not just by his fathers standards, but by his own.

Gods, he must be much drunker than he thought.

Even with Sh'Dar's engaging stories, he couldn't stop thinking about the night before. The whole day images of her whimpering beside him flashed through his mind. He shifted his pants awkwardly.

"Anyways- I SWEAR by Alkosh I must've been approached with an amulet of Mara at least 15 times in Skyrim. All by nords- mind you!" She waved her finger in his face.

"Are nords not your bowl of moon sugar?" He mocked, smiling smugly.

Sh'Dar paused for a moment, a little flustered by his comment before continuing her ramble, "Well, It's not that I don't like them, really. Just.. many of them are so simple-minded. I love being able to TALK to someone and hear their deepest inner thoughts. When you're with someone who thinks of nothing but sex, mead, and war- it gets boring very easy. I mean, you know how nord culture is."

She lifted both her paws in the air to shrug and slammed on the table dramatically- but she ended up spilling her drink all over Aelthir.

They both paused for a bit- Sh'Dar looking at him in shock. She covered her muzzle to hide her smile until Aelthir started laughing. She joined in- almost slamming the table again. 

"I'm tired of you taking up seats in my fancy restaurant. My guests came here to enjoy fine cuisine, not listen to your vulgar stories! Out with you!" The breton bartender interjected. He 'shooed' them with his hands. He was red with anger, and obviously very serious.

Both Aelthir and Sh'Dar looked at each other confused, but got up and left quickly out of respect. 

...

"Wasn't there nobody there but us?" Sh'Dar whispered when they had gotten out of earshot- as if he could still hear them.

Aelthir held in a laugh. "N- No??" He chuckled, muddled by the interaction.

They both started giggling uncontrollably, holding onto each other for support so they didn't tumble over onto the dark city streets.

Sh'Dar wobbly pointed to an inn sign- whispering, "Hey-.. We should probably get a room.. do you have any gold on you?" She patted her pockets exaggeratedly. 

"I do.." He said, pulling out a bag of gold and grinning widely.

"And I paid for drinks? Fumbadhassa.." She shook her head and 'tsk tsk tsk'ed at Aelthirs un-gentlemanly behavior.

They both drunkenly stumbled into the inn. Aelthir paid for a room, but the Innkeeper seemed very unamused by their pathetic attempts at humor.

Aelthir opened the door to their room and bowed, "Here is your room, m'lady." Sh'Dar curtsied and thanked him, sashaying through the dimly lit doorway. It was much better than the inn they had stayed at in Passwall. 

"Oh- there's only one bed." Sh'Dar pointed out, looking over at Aelthir shutting the door. 

"I'll go ask for another-" She started, but Aelthir caught her by her wrist on her way out. His big hand wrapped around her small wrist perfectly. She swallowed the small feeling of arousal that crept up on her. Where was this coming from?

"You don't have to, don't worry." He gave her a warm smile. 

The way he looked at her made her stomach feel hot. Oh gods- she knew this feeling.

He let go of her quickly, awkwardly apologizing. "Shit- I'm sorry for grabbing you like that.. It's just-"

"No- no it was fine" She immediately excused him. She started to think out loud, finding herself saying; "I kind of liked it."

Fuck. Fuck. She didn't want to say that. What was she doing?

"Yh- You what?" He stammered, not expecting her to move things along so fast.

She had noticed him staring earlier in the bar. His eyes drifting down to her shirt... shifting his loose pants- making sure she didn't see what he was hiding under it.

But she knew. 

He was funny, cute, dumb, just a little mean and probably WAY too old for her. She didn't really care though. She wasn't sober enough to care.

Being on top of him the night before had driven her crazy. Feeling him breathing under her all tied up.. she felt guilty but couldn't help but relieve herself later that night.

She loved being able to not think like this. She could just act on her thoughts and feelings.

It was so freeing.

Gods this felt good.

"I said that I want you to grab me, Aelthir." She smugly walked up to him, her tail waving in the air. 

She could practically see the shift in his eyes- from drunken embarrassment to a lustful hunger.

He aggressively grabbed her by her waist, his large hands gripping her on either side. He pulled her closer to him and peered into her eyes- she could almost feel the lust radiating off of him.

"Yeah? You want me to?" He asked, his voice deeper and scruffier than before. "Are you sure?"

The hunger in his voice made her eyes flutter.

She could feel her heart in her throat, thumping. Thumping. Thumping.

"Please, Aelthir.." She begged, placing her paws on his back and drawing him in closer. She could feel his warm breath on her cold nose as he loomed over her.

After pulling him closer, she could now feel his length pressing against her inner thigh. The warmth in her stomach trickled down and pooled in her privates. She took in his musky scent, her arousal growing further. The feeling of him rubbing against her was driving her crazy. She wanted to push him on the floor and mount him herself, but she was patient.

She pushed her thigh against his length, just thin cloth separating the two. His breath shook at the touch;

"Mmhmhm- if you insist.." He husked, moving one of his hands from her waist to her neck, choking her softly.

He pulled her closer to him and placed a desperate kiss on her lips. She returned his intimacy, feeling his hands grip her tighter. 

She knew she was going to regret this the morning after. She could feel some voice of reason in the back of her mind, telling her; 'This is a bad idea. Back out while you still can, while his dick is still in his pants!'

But just the fact that she knew she shouldn't made it feel so much better. She wanted to tear off his skin, eat him alive!

She moaned into his mouth as she felt him shoving his hand between her thighs, rubbing her gently. She had to fight with her knees to not crumble at his touch.

As they attacked each other's mouths, Sh'Dar tugged at the fabric that held Aelthirs robe together. She slipped it off of his shoulders and arms, revealing the fit body beneath.

Gods.

He was much more attractive than she had anticipated. He looked nothing like any bosmer she had seen before. They were usually very skinny and scrawny, not that there was anything wrong with that. He was more toned with scars all over his body, the large one across his chest was the most noticeable. His black curly hair grew around it like weeds.

She only noticed she stopped kissing him when he stopped moving his fingers and loosened his grip on her neck.

"Are you alright Sh'Dar?" He whispered, his breath shaky from action.

She closed her mouth and forced herself to stop staring at his body. His voice made her shudder.

"Y-yeah.. I'm fine-" She responded, kissing him quickly so he didn't ask any more questions.

She grabbed his neck lovingly while her other paw pulled his loose pants off of him. His pants and boxers dropped on the floor heavily, revealing his twitching cock. She felt his hands reach to the back of her own neck to pull the tied straps apart, but she quickly grabbed them.

Sh'Dar pulled away from his face. His mouth followed her desperately, a small moan escaping.

"Wh-"

"You'll have to ask nicely, Aelthir. Have some manners.." She smugly said, a smirk plastered across her face. 

"Please Sh'Dar..." He begged, leaning in closer to kiss her again. But that wasn't enough. No, she needed him to plead for her. She wanted him to show her how desperate he was. How much he needed her.

"Nuh-uh," She pointed down, telling him to get on his knees. "Beg for it." 

He growled and bent down on his knees, just as she asked. He gazed up at her with his dark eyes. This position made him look so.. pathetic. She loved it.

"Please my lady, I need you.." His voice was soaked in passion. The way he said it made her throb.

That was more like it. 

Sh'Dar smiled, untying the black straps that held her clothing tightly to her body. She slipped it off to reveal her curvy figure, her nipples erect from the sudden exposure. She blushed seeing Aelthirs reaction. His mouth now partially open, his dick now fully erect and twitching with desire.

He rose from his spot on the ground, now looming over her menacingly. 

She stared up at him obediently, waiting for him to do something. Anything. Gods, she'd let him do anything. Why was he taking so damn long?  

He caressed her body with his rough hands, gripping and feeling every inch of her. His pale and dead skin clashed well with her dark black fur. 

"Fuck.." He muttered under his breath. 

He violently pulled her close to him, picking her up and pushing her against the wall just beside the singular bed. The sudden movement made her stomach flutter. She realized how strong he really was. It scared her that if he really wanted to, he could just do as he liked. But she wanted him to do as he liked. Gods, she needed him to.

She hooked her legs behind him and placed her paws behind his neck. His long warm cock was pressed against her lower body. She throbbed feeling it so close to her. His forehead touched hers lovingly, their shaky breaths melding together.

She raised her hips as he took it in hand and rubbed it against her clit. She stifled a moan and prayed for him to just get it over with.

"Gods, you're already so wet. Are you-" He breathed- wanting to make sure she was still alright with this.

"By Dibella please just put it in Aelthir-" She pleaded, gripping the back of his neck and pulling him closer to kiss him. She arched her back waiting for him to fill her.

He broke away from this and smiled, his shiny pointy teeth showing. "Wow- Sh'Dar, I didn't know you were such a whore..." 

He slid into her, resulting in a cry out from Sh'Dar.

"Mmmfg- fuhuck.." Her eyes rolled up into her head as she shakily clutched onto him. He was much bigger than she anticipated, the feeling of his large cock inside her made her knees weak. It was hard to keep holding on.

He started slow, kissing her gently as he moved himself into her. Each thrust sent shocks through her body. She could feel him reaching the deepest part of her mushy insides.

His breath was jagged and raspy. The feeling of him breathing against her sensitive neck made the experience so much more pleasurable. His eyes focused on her intently, watching her take him in. 

She pushed her hips against him desperately. She wanted him to ram into her, fuck her till it hurt!

But she had to be patient. Fuck, she was tired of being patient. She didn't want to wait any longer.

Between breathy moans and passionate kisses, she managed to say; "P-please go faster.. Aelthir." He laughed at the sound of his name coming from her mouth.

Something as small as that made her bite her lip to suppress her pleasure. She hated being so vulnerable and weak to someone, but it felt so good.

"If that's what you really want.."

His hands gripped her harder as he picked up the pace, ramming her against the wall. 

"Fuck.. you're taking me so well Sh'Dar.." Aelthir purred. The sound of his voice made Sh'Dar clench onto him, her head flying back and hitting the wall with pleasure.

By Sheggorath, she felt like she was being fucked by Sangiine himself! She felt practically blissful as Aelthir violently pounded her brains out. She couldn't control herself.. each aggressive thrust made her moan louder and louder.

Aelthir covered her muzzle with his hand, murmuring; "Be fucking quiet, Sh'Dar. Someone will hear your slutty moans."

His large hand covering her mouth just turned her on more. She had never felt this way with any man before, not anyone for that matter! She had been with men before, many dotted around all Tamriel. But, wow. None with the voice or hands or skill like this!

Beads of sweat slid down Aelthirs chest, Sh'Dars gaze becoming fuzzier as she tried to focus on his face through her heavy eyelids. 

Aelthir took his hand off of her face, slowing his pace and whispering in her ear; "Can you be quiet for me?"

She could feel his lips brushing against her, his soft breaths landing on her neck.

"Y-yes.."

"Yes what?"

Desperate for him to continue, Sh'Dar breathily responded "Yes sir. I can be quiet, I promise."

"Good girl."

Aelthir grabbed her, swiveling around and sitting on the bed just beside them. Sh'Dars legs opened further- letting his cock push deeper inside of her. He dug one of his hands into her tangled hair and let the other wrap around her waist to keep her in place. Her head rested in the crook of his neck. 

He started ramming into her once again, trying to keep himself from biting his lip and drawing blood. 

Her small body fit almost perfectly against his.

Fuck. 

He was fucking her dumb- her suppressed moans kept getting sloppier and sloppier as she drooled on his back. His mouth was right against her neck... he could just bite down and suck her dry...

He moved his head away and threw the thought out of his mind.

He could feel her walls clenching down on him and her breathy moans getting shakier as her arousal reached its peak. She gripped him tight, practically sucking him dry of any precum he had left in him. 

Sh'Dar shook wildly on top of him, Aelthir grabbed onto her to keep her in place as he kept fucking her raw. He prepared himself to slow down and let her ride out her orgasm- before she bit down on his shoulder. 

He had been so deprived of this kind of intimacy for so long that the sudden sharp pang of her teeth on his fleshy mortal body sent a shock up his spine, and he couldn't help but finish soon after. His euphoria had reached its peak- he couldn't think about anything but her.

Sh'Dar.

Sh'Dar.

SH'DAR.

Her perfect body, her raspy voice, her pathetic moans, her batshit crazy personality. FUCK.

He plunged deep inside of her out of pure instinct- letting his seed fill her. He pulled her waist into him and took in her scent. They both sat there for awhile, Sh'Dar collapsed and shook on top of him as he breathed heavily under her. The two intertwined almost perfectly.

Aelthir recognized this might be too hopeful; but he was wishing for something more than just a one night stand from Sh'Dar. He felt so strongly about her- a feeling he wasn't familiar with. This kind of thing was for puny mortals with too short a lifespan to realize love isn't worth all of the energy it requires. He had dated before, most ended horribly. All his hard work thrown away like it was nothing.

Despite believing this, he still yearned to be with her like nobody else. 

Chapter Text

"Aelthir?"

"Yes?" He looked down at the khajiit laying on his pale chest.

"Do you think you're a good person?"

The question left the drunk bosmer dumbfounded. "What?" He started, trying to gather his thoughts into words. "Well... I think the definition of good person is complicated-"

"So you don't think you're a good person?" Sh'Dar interjected.

"No. There's no way I am. I don't really believe 'good people' exist. I think mortals are too complicated for that." He was actually telling the truth.

"Yeah, I'm the same.... I don't think I've ever been a good person. Honestly, I've always felt doomed from the start."

"Yeah?" Aelthir shifted slightly to show he was paying attention, his arm wrapped around the furry figure looking up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, my mom was a jekosiit-"

"A what?"

"She was a dumbass. Not actually, though. She was smart when she was off the skooma. I feel a lot like her sometimes."

Aelthir nodded his head. "You two close?"

"OH- nooo no no. She actually.. she left me when I was 5 with some drunk argonian dealer named Tazzari... and only cause he'd pay the most. By the time I was old enough to even want to travel to find her- she had gotten herself killed."

"Wow... Lucien never even told me about that. I'm sorry."

Sh'Dar drunkenly pushed herself away from Aelthir to sit up on the bed. "Woah- dont apologize. Don't switch up on me Aelthir." She pointed her finger at him and made a sour face. "Keep making fun of me for being sappy or something like that, thats more like you." 

Aelthir put his hands up defensively, knowing she hated when he did that. "I was just going to say I get it- don't get your tail in a twist." He paused and put this hands down dramatically. "...My dads the same way. I feel like I'm constantly running away from being like him... but I mean- here I am looking and acting just like him. It's this never ending battle between yourself and their past."

"Wow- yeah. You're exactly right." Sh'Dars demeanor changed, she crossed her arms and leaned up against the wall next to the bed. "Whats your dad like?" She curiously asked.

Aelthir scoffed slightly and thought about how to approach this without sharing too much. He felt like he wanted to be honest with her- but not to an incriminating point.

"Well- hes very charismatic."

"CHECK."

"Haha- you really think so?" He chuckled and smiled at her.

"You underestimate yourself- you don't say much but you're very good with your words."

"Whatever you say." He said playfully. "Hes a drunk- make sure you check that too."

"No- yeah I will. Don't worry I wont let you lie on this. Check."

"He's.. kind of a man-whore"

"Aren't all bosmeri men?" Sh'Dar joked. "Check."

"Hey- I havent had sex in a LONG TIME."

Sh'Dar started to laugh loudly, snorting and catching herself falling over on the bed. "Yeah like we DIDN'T just fuck."

"No, I mean before that. Last time i had sex was with my last girlfriend, the one I had when you were younger."

Sh'Dar seemed taken aback by this. "You haven't dated anyone since that bitch?"

"You didn't like her?" Aelthir asked, amused by her comment. She was right.

"Yeah- she was rude and immature. I didn't like the way that she talked to you. Even at that age- it made me upset."

"Well you were right, she did turn out to be a huge asshole." Aelthir said, shifting awkwardly.

The two sat there in awkward silence before Sh'Dar asked; "How old are you anyway?"

"Gods- probably thousands of years old. I stopped keeping track a long time ago- but I've been around since the 1st era."

"By the divines, Aelthir!" Sh'Dar said, a shocked look on her face. She knew he was old but not THAT old. She suddenly felt very immature and naive compared to Aelthir. 

"Yeah.... my parents really rushed into their relationship- by the time I was born it was already over. They had split and I only saw my dad every few moons till my mom passed." 

"Oh- I thought they were both vampires?"

Aelthir froze. Shit- how could he get out of this? "No, my mom was just a normal bosmer. My dads the uh... vampire."

"What vampire clan are you? Whats your lineage look like?"

Shit. He didnt know enough about vampires to answer this question. He recalled his visit to Skyrim.. "Uhh.. the Volkihar clan."

"Oh, so your dads from Skyrim? I thought you said he was from Valenwood?"

"No- he is from Valenwood.." He felt so horrible lying to her. He tried to think of some way to steer the conversation away from his father. "What about your dad?"

"Oh- I don't really want to talk about him. Not that hes any worse or better than my mom. Both of my parents are wafiits." Sh'Dar plopped down next to him, turning her body and head towards his.

"Yeah.. I understand that." He responded, looking down at her laying on the other side of the bed. "I'm sorry that in your short life span you've had to deal with so much. Its unfair. Just shows you how much the gods really care for people like us."

Sh'Dar sat there in silence for a little bit, letting his words sink in. They hit her heavily, she felt stuck on them. She didn't even know what to say- or what to think. She decided not to say anything. This was too much for her. She turned over and said; "You know, we should really get some sleep."

"Oh- yeah uh I guess so. Sorry." Aelthir responded, worried about her lack of a response.

"...No no, it's alright. I'm just getting tired." Sh'dar lied.

Aelthir woke up. He felt happy waking up, maybe for the first time in decades. 

He soon wished he didn't wake up.

He looked over on the other side of the bed. He put his hand on the bare covers, feeling the absence of his partner from the night before.

He sat there, still naked and feeling exposed. He opened up everything for her. He sat there in the dark, the only light coming from the curtains of the inn. He stared at her empty spot trying to figure out how to feel.

Why did she leave?

After their conversation, why would she go? There was no way this was HIS fault. He couldn't have fucked things up AGAIN.

And she had his belt. Fuck. FUCK. 

He picked up a burnt-out candle on the bedside table and threw it, letting his head fall into his hands.

He needed a fucking drink.

He needed one now.

Bad.

Chapter Text

She left. It was a very quick decision without much thought behind it. She didn't want to think.

Of course she felt guilty, who wouldn't? Just.. what Aelthir said the night before- it scared her.

Not that she didn't like Aelthir. She actually liked him quite a bit. He's tall, lanky, handsome and smart too- for a bosmer. There were a lot of things she liked about him. She just couldn't stand him apologizing for her past. Maybe her life wasn't so great, yes. But thats that. It was normal for her. He just cared about her too much.

She let her thoughts follow the pound of her paws on the ground beneath her. One, two, one, two. One after the other.

She was on her way to New Sheoth Palace to finally see Sheogorath, and the streets of Mania were a lot bigger and more complicated than she anticipated. She was starting to feel Fumbadhassa for getting lost so frequently, but she had finally found the door to the courtyard.

She had to put all her weight on the rotted gates to get it open. She was in awe once she caught a glimpse of the courtyard... it was beautiful. The two sides of dementia and mania met in the middle, weeds and grass growing in between cracks in the stone pathway. She walked down to the opening in the middle filled with a few trees and many exotic plants. She daintily put her paw around each one, studying them carefully. 

She had always wondered what this place would really look like. She had heard stories, but mere words were nothing compared to the beauty of real life. 

She picked from an Alocasia plant and took a bite, the juice running down her mouth as she sunk her fangs into the sweet fruit.

"Eating my fruit, now are we?" A familiar voice said in her ear, taking the fruit from her hand. She felt his other hand at her waist, but only for a moment. She just barely caught a glimpse of his purple and gold sleeve.

Sh'Dar whipped around to see the daedric prince, but she had just missed him. She could still hear him though, as she heard the madgod whisper in her ear; "Come meet me in my palace, Sh'Dar." 

A strange feeling crawled up the back of her spine, making her shiver. She turned around in circles, observing her surroundings before making her way to the large door leading to the inside of the palace.

This door was a lot lighter as she was able to push it open with ease. She stepped into the dimly lit palace, seeing Sheogorath sitting on his throne. His legs were crossed and he had both hands on the tip of his staff. He gave Sh'Dar a wide, toothy grin, his yellow cat-like eyes looking at her hungrily- like he wanted something. It made her fur stand up on end.

"Ah, Sh'Dar! Its great to finally meet you in person! You're a lot shorter than I thought you'd Be, but you'll do just fine." He said, opening his arms to welcome her.

She didn't move though. She stayed by the door.

"Oh- don't be shy, khajiit. I wont bite... or maybe I will. You'll just have to take a chance. Trust me!" He stood up from his chair, putting both hands on his cane again. Sh'Dar slowly walked over to meet him, Haskil standing to the side of the both of them.

"It's... an honor to finally meet you, m'lord." Sh'Dar said, trying not to smile. She wasn't used to being so formal, but she kind of liked it.

"Yes, yes, of course. You're a long-time follower, are you not? Don't get all gooey about me, it ruins the experience- really." Sheogorath said, making a disgusted face. He whispered to Haskil "Dont get the cheese out just yet, I may have something to do before we get started."

"Uh-" Sh'Dar interupted, the madgods attention now fully on her. "Why do you want me here-?"

"Here, walk with me Sh'Dar." The madgod walked up to her and put his hand on her back lightly, gesturing for her to follow. 

The two walked out into the courtyard once again. As they walked into the beautiful clearing in the middle, Sheogorath put his hand out to stop the young khajiit as he continued to walk forward. He got up on the steps, looked at Sh'Dar, and put his arms in the hair to say; "I want you... to be my Champion!"

Sh'Dar giggled slightly at the buildup of this extravagant announcement. 

Shoegorath put his arms down. "Ah, no I jest. Mostly. I have been keeping an eye on you for some time, Sh'Dar, and I wanted to see more of you."

"Wow- okay. But.. m'lord, I'm just a mortal? You're a uh.." She gestured to the madgod. "Daedric prince. Why would you want to see more of me?" She asked genuinely, cocking her head to the side.

"Because.. I have a feeling about you." The madgod looked her up and down. "You've got some.. spark that has peaked my interest- and I'd love to see how my power affects you. And, of course, the Greymarch." He swiveled around to walk towards the palace once more. His confident strut matched the tapping of his cane on the stone path below.

"Wait- Whats the Greymarch?" Sh'Dar said, running to catch up with the madgod. Her pads hit the stone with a certain sound, matching his steps.

"Happens at the end of every era, at the beginning of every era, which is to say... now. You don't need to know much of it as of now, what matters is you get to know the people of New Sheoth. You must learn how important it is to keep this realm intact. You're lucky to be living at the start of a new era, Sh'Dar. Isn't it marvelous?"

"So- what, you want me to work for you?" Her tail twitched with uncertainty. 

"You're getting there! Sooo close! But not really. Oh, how you mortals make me laugh! Hah hah!" He chortled as he pushed the large doors to the palace open with ease. "You'll be staying in my palace for the time being, wouldn't want you to stay in some run-down inn, now would we?" He gave her another toothy smile, and she just couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something under his hospitable persona. It made her uneasy.

He lead her down a series of hallways that gave her a headache before they finally reached a dark brown door.

"Heres where you'll be staying..." He pushed open the door "And if you need anything, ask the bulter."

"You mean Haskil?" Sh'Dar asked.

Sheogorath smiled widely. "Precisely! He'll treat you right, don't you worry!"

Sh'Dar giggled a little bit, and noticed herself blushing slightly. "I believe you, m'lord."

"I'll be leaving you now, I'm afraid. Tomorrow you'll be meeting Thadon! How marvelous!" He shouted while closing the door. Sh'Dar rushed out to ask him more questions, but he was already gone.

Damnit.