Archive of Our Own ^beta

Papyrus walked in the door. "SANS, YOU DIDN'T DO WHAT I TOLD YOU T- ARE YOU DRINKING MUSTARD AGAIN?!"

Sans looked up at his brother, wavering on his feet. "Nooo. I *hic* diid it... I th- I think."

Papyrus waved his hand, grabbing his brother. "COME ON YOU LAZY SLUG. YOU ARE IN NO CONDITION TO WORK TODAY. I WILL BRING YOU HOME, BUT I EXPECT IT TO BE DONE TOMORROW."

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Papyrus and Sans arrived home, with Papyrus only having to dust one monster that was stupid enough to approach his greatness.

Papyrus opened the door, only to find his brother's stupid girlfriend in the kitchen.

"Oh! Hello, Papyrus. I didn't expect you to be home so early." Dream said, smiling.

Papyrus glared at Dream before tossing Sans onto the couch, who immediately started snoring.

He stomped toward Dream, giving her his most great and terrible glare. "AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE? I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME BACK AFTER YOUR PAINT FREAK FRIEND INFESTED MY HOUSE WITH DOGS."

Dream laughed, soft and sheepish. "Oh, Sans asked me to come! He told me to come pick him up from Grillby's in about an hour so he could get home to clean, but knowing him, I figured he would just pass out after he was done. So I decided to go ahead and clean for you."

Papyrus softened a little bit. 'WELL, SHE IS BEING HELPFUL I SUPPOSE.'

"VERY WELL THEN. YOU MAY STAY. HOW FAR ALONG HAVE YOU GOTTEN?"

"Oh, I'm done cleaning! I was just making some spaghetti for you. If you want me to leave, I will."

Papyrus thought for a minute. "VERY WELL, YOU MAY STAY."

Dream looked surprised for a moment. "Oh, well, thank you dear!"

Papyrus sighed. "I MUST ASK A QUESTION."

Dream smiled. "Of course! What do you need?"

"YOU'RE A COUNTERPART OF MY BROTHER, YES?"

"Why yes, I am! If you're worried about self-cest, I don't really share any of the same DNA as he does. I was created from a ball of magic."

Papyrus rolled his eyes. "I WASN'T ASKING ABOUT THAT."

"Oh, what did you want to ask then?"

"ARE YOU A GENDERSWAP UNIVERSE? I'M QUITE CONFUSED AS TO WHY YOU ARE FEMALE AND HE IS NOT." Papyrus had been wondering about this for a while.

"Oh, that's quite simple. You see-"

"Dream?" came the whine from the doorway. "My head huuuurts."

"Oh, Sans, you're awake! Come here, I'll get rid of your headache."

"Are you sure? I don't want to tire you."

"I'm quite sure, love. A small headache is no problem."

As Sans shambled toward Dream, Papyrus remembered what he had been asking.

"ARE YOU NOT GOING TO ANSWER THE QUESTION?"

Dream startled, having forgotten the question. "Oh, yes! You see-" Here she laid her hands on San's skull and began to heal him- "I am not a genderbend universe."

"THEN WHY-"

"She doesn't have to answer your question if she doesn't want to." Sans glared at him, straightening.

Dream leaned into him, smiling. "No, no, it's quite alright. I am completely alright with telling him."

"Okay then. If you're sure, Dandelion."

She booped him on the nasal cavity, laughing. "I'm quite sure."

Dream turned back to Papyrus. "I'm transgender, hun."

Papyrus blinked, then shrugged. "MAKES SENSE."

"Cool." Sans yawned. "Hey, I'm hungry. Can we eat now?"

Dream stretched. "Sure, darling, come along."

As Sans and Dream walked toward the kitchen, talking and laughing softly, Papyrus decided Dream was safe.