Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tommys pov:
I woke up in a dazed state as I rubbed my y eyes . I picked up my phone to check the time. with the bright numbers gleaming back at me it was 6:10 on Monday. I got up and out of bed and put on my clothes for the day. It was a red flannel with a black top and some brown combats with my lite green converse. I brushed my red hair with black roots as I had dyed it one E Wilber and Technoblade left 9 years ago. I'm almost 18 now. I am still glad they left. They never liked me; they always hit me or yelled at me.

I adjusted the ring on my left hand it was my wedding ring I got married 2 years ago to deo (it was platonic you creeps i do not condone shiping the actual streamers respect bounderys) as I walked down the stairs with my headphones on my neck and made myself some lunch for school as I saw a note on the counter that read “hi risa I won’t be back till tomorrow love Phil.”

“Cause he won’t be he’s never fucking home” I said

Then I started cleaning the house as Phil never does it so why not. Next time I looked at my phone it was 6:30 so I packed my bag and hopped in my red Peugeot and drove to deos and mine's apartment to pick them up and drive to school. Deo walked out and jumped in the car

“hi love” they said kissing me on the cheek

“hi de” I said kissing him on the cheek before we drove off

Once we got to school we headed to our classes all I have is drama with mr tomason and english today with mr Awsam but he lets us call him sam he runs a poetry group called poetas smp I’m in with about 10 other kids and captain pussy I mean puffy who is my counsellor. I quickly headed to drama as that’s what I have the first half of the day and was greeted with dream yelling at sapnap to give him his hat back tubbo and Ranboo trying to practise there duo piece eret sat on the stage talking to fundy and Niki George taking a nap in the back corner by the curtains
Deo playing hide and seek with quackity and Karl jack just trying to fix the mics Mr Thomason not even. There god I love this class there all in. My English too soon sir arrived and we had to actually do stuff.

“Alright guys so first thing we’re doing once you finish warmups is we’re doing our group peace for the showcase of the cover is not the book then you’ll split up and practise your other bits in your smaller groups tommy and dream you know your bits in the song I’m guessing?”

“Yep” dream replied whilst I nodded

“Ok let’s do it then”

One we were done dream said “Good Job Tommy, you did really good!” Whilst giving me a high five

“Thanks king you did good too” I replied

After 3 hours of drama I had English. We were doing poems. I was so happy but after that I went home.

The next day after school I went to poetas smp and we were writing the poems for our poetry night we do every fortnight my poem is entitled shes sees but I got a phone call huh odd I thought but I was aspeshaly confused when I saw the contact philza why the hell is he calling but I picked up

“Hello?” I said as Phil replied

“Risa you need to be home before 4 I have something urgent to tell you”

I wanted to question it but instead I just said “ok i'll come home now see you soon.” And hung up

Once I hung up my breaths thickened and sped up as I stairs at my phone. I can't remember the rest but puffy coming over to help calm me down and her saying I had a panic attack. 5 minutes later I said my goodbyes and headed to Phil’s house upon entering the door phil told me to sit down as he had something important to say so I sat down

“Risa there’s something important I have to tell you.”

“Ok what is it” I replied

“Your brothers there coming home” he said happily

“W-what”I stuttered

“YEH ISN'T IT GREAT NEWS”

“Ye it is I have to d-o my homework now so I’ll get going bye” I
said as I ran up the stairs

“We’re picking them up tomorrow just so you know” Phil yelled

I called Deo to tell him I couldn’t drive him and I might be late to school tomorrow will be hell.

Chapter Text

I woke up like I usually do and slowly got out of bed getting ready for school when I remembered oh shoot there coming back today! So I decided to put on one of my most stylish and “odd” outfits so they would realise im not there little “girl” anymore. I put on a pair of black combat trousers with deos hooie and a ghost shirt with some necklaces including my trans one. Putting on some star socks and my demonicas and some skeleton gloves. As I walked out of my room as I did and walked down stairs phil started yelling at me that wee need to go even tho its 6:04 the airport is only 30 minutes away and they land at 7:30. As soon as I got in the car dream started messaging me about the night and if I had fully finished my poem which the poetry night is in 2 days so it would be a bit bad if I haven’t finished writing the poem but you know. Once we got to the airport it is 6:40 as there was traffic but we waited for the oh so grate twins.

I was reading the lyrics of one of my songs I kneed to know then I heard this obnoxious graining voice yell “DAD!” Fuck it was wilber they were still abit far away so I car on but then I had some one hug me from behind.i spun around and punched them square in the chest.
Uh oh it was wilber soon technoblade started laughing as wilber yelled

“TERRISA WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!”

“Respectfully I don’t like people touching me that I don’t know and with put permission.” I said in reply when Phil decided to but in

“risa stop being a dick to your brother you haven’t seen him or techno in years”

I know dumbas they left us for 8 odd years is wat I really wanted to say but I kn id get in trouble for “bEinG RudE mememeem” but soon I was helping them put there shit in the car hen phil said

“Oh boys I don’t think therse enough room pop some in the front risa you sit in the back with them”

Fuck now I’m 100% straight away going to puffy.
Once we started driving, I put on some songs dad sam told me I should listen too then I start messaging deo.

Tom:
Mi querida can you message rn

Love🧡:
Yes hon why did everything go alright?!

Tom:
No not really wait how can u message your in drama?!
Love 🧡:
Were not doing anything as dream is having a mental breakdown about your brothers coming back and if you will be safe I’ve been comforting same with George and the others puffy is in her office so yh were not doing anything.

Tom:
K ill be in school in like 25 mins cuz I’m 20 away from Phils house and it ill only take less than 5to get to school.

Love 🧡:
Ok darling ill be here when you need me I’m guessing you’re going straight to puffy?

Tom:
Yep I gtg love u mi querido

Love 🧡:
Love u too darling

I was happy until I. Heard a agitating voce. Talking to me

“teris who are you messaging?” it was Wilber

“None of your concern Wilber.”

“oooo do you have a boyfriendddddd??” he said in a mocking tone

“no I don’t no0w leave me alone.”

“Dad dose risa have a boyfriend?”

“Idk m8 wish I could tell you” Phil said course you wouldn’t know your never around.

Once we got to the house, I grabbed my school bag and drove to school now I need to find puffy.

Chapter Text

Once I arrived at school I made a b-line to puffy office. Once I got there, I knocked on her door quite loudly causing her to yell “COME IN”

I slowly open the door greeting her as I walked in.once I sat down, I broke down with tears streaming my face I told puffy everything about how they came back and were trying to act like my brothers not strangers on how they didn’t even know my friends or anything and omly technoblade knew my birthday by the end of it she looked like she was about to cry.

“Aww tom you can come to me ok what they're doing right now is not right ok you have every right to be upset ok now if you want, I can let you spend today down hear and drama to help you calm down also do you want a hug?”

I slowly nodded and puffy came over to me and gave me a hug. For the rest of that day, I spent it in the sensory room in puffy office she made it for me because she saw that I came down often for meltdowns going nonverbal and other things and thought it would be good for me to have another safe space ad she knew my house wasn’t one.

At the end of the school day I checked my phone and saw a message of techno??

Tech:
Hay tommy is that what you want to be called any way uhh dad said for me to message you that tonight we are having a family dinner, so you need to be here.

---------------------------------------------------- Ughhhhh really this is all cuz there home I can't be bothered any more with phil why did they gave to come back?

Chapter Text

Technoblades pov:

A-few years ago
---------------------------------------------------------

Ive been thinking for a while I haven't heard from tori in a while hmmm
“WILBER”
“WHAT” I he from the harsh voice in the other room
“COME HERE!”I yelled back matching his tone
“K” he said walking into the room
“What”wil alsked
“Have you heard from or about tori recently” I slowly asked.
“No why would you care about her” he replied pulling a face
“No reson bye” I said quickly as wilber left the room

Damn I really need to apologize I might have her number I thaight as I was scrolling through my contacts. YES! I do ok I hope she replies to my message

Me:
Hello im not shure if you know who my number is but im sorry for the tearms we left on and I hope you will forgive me and we could mend our relationship.

589696987899:
Hello my name is tommy im not fully sure who you are what is your name?

Me:
I am technoblade

…….

OUT OF TEXTING:
“Huh tommy? Is she trans?” I thaight to my self

589696987899:
Technoblade you must not tell anyoune about this got it

Me:
Yes I will not also what are your pronouns tommy?

589696987899:
He/they yes I am tori btw also like to have a relationship with you but I still don’t fully forgive you.

..............?

Chapter Text

Tommy's POV:

The drive back home was silent, only the occasional rustle from the bag on the seat beside me breaking the quiet. My phone buzzed with a message from Deo, but I couldn’t bring myself to reply. I knew what awaited me at the house—another forced family moment that I had no interest in.

I pulled up to the driveway, the familiar sight of Phil’s car parked out front doing nothing to calm my nerves. Taking a deep breath, I walked inside. The voices from the dining room echoed through the hallway, a mix of light-hearted banter and Wilbur’s unmistakable laughter.

“Risa, there you are!” Phil greeted me as I entered the room, his smile warm but detached... fake, as if this was just another ordinary day.

“Sit down, we were just about to start,” Techno said, gesturing to the empty chair next to him. His tone was neutral, unreadable.

I nodded silently and took my seat, feeling the weight of their presence more than ever. Wilbur was already halfway through telling a story, his voice carrying that same smug confidence that always grated on my nerves.

“And then—get this—he actually tried to argue with me about it!” Wilbur laughed, the sound irritatingly self-assured. “As if he could ever win that argument.”

Phil chuckled along, clearly enjoying Wilbur’s tale. “Well, you’ve always had a way with words, Wil.”

“Of course,” Wilbur replied, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied grin. “It’s a talent, really.”

Techno was quieter, his attention mostly on his food, though he occasionally added a comment or two to keep the conversation going. To them, it was like nothing had changed—as if they hadn’t been gone for nearly a decade, as if they hadn’t left me behind without a second thought.

I kept my head down, pushing the food around on my plate. The conversation flowed around me, but I didn’t feel like part of it. They didn’t notice my silence, too wrapped up in their own world. To them, this was a reunion—a chance to relive the good old days. They didn’t see how out of place I felt, how the years apart had built walls between us that couldn’t be torn down with a few shared meals.

Wilbur eventually turned his attention to me, his tone casual. “So, Ris, what have you been up to? Anything interesting?”

I shrugged, not meeting his gaze. “School, mostly.”

“School,” he echoed, nodding like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. “Really not mitching you never were the studious type.”

Phil chimed in, “You’ve changed a lot, to be fair, Risa. But sadly still don’t have good grades.”

I forced a smile, not wanting to stir the pot but seething with anger. This man knows nothing about me—I have straight A’s and A*'s. Not like he would know; he hasn’t looked at my report card in years, let alone gone to parent evenings. I quickly made a comment to avoid further conflict. “Yeah, I guess...”

They continued talking, their words washing over me as I withdrew further into myself. They didn’t notice. Or maybe they did, but they didn’t care to acknowledge it. To them, everything was fine, as it should be. They were home, and that was all that mattered.

I excused myself as soon as I could, mumbling something about homework. They barely noticed me leave, too engrossed in their own conversation to see how out of place I felt. As I closed the door to my room behind me, I let out a long breath, the tension in my chest finally easing now that I was alone.

It was clear now—they didn’t see anything wrong with how things were. To them, this was a new beginning and I was the "same". But to me, it was just a reminder of all the years they had left me behind, and how little they understood that they couldn’t just pick up where they left off. I wasn’t the same person they remembered, and they were too wrapped up in their own narratives to see that.

I collapsed onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. Tomorrow, I would go to school, see Puffy, and avoid this mess for as long as I could. They could pretend all they wanted, but I wasn’t ready to play along. Not yet.

The next morning came too quickly, the tension from last night still lingering in the back of my mind. I dragged myself out of bed, dreading another day of pretending everything was fine. I threw on my clothes—another carefully chosen outfit that screamed, “I’m not who you think I am.” Black jeans, a band tee, and my favorite leather jacket. A look that felt like armor.

As I made my way downstairs, I could already hear them in the kitchen, laughing and talking like nothing had changed. I hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, taking a deep breath before stepping into the room.

“There she is!” Wilbur announced as soon as he saw me, his grin wide and obnoxious. “Morning, Ris!”

“Morning,” I mumbled, heading straight for the coffee machine.

“You’re up early,” Techno remarked, his tone neutral as always.

“School,” I replied shortly, not wanting to engage any more than necessary.

Phil was at the stove, flipping pancakes. “Made your favorite, Risa. Thought it’d be nice, like old times.”

I glanced at the plate he set in front of me. Pancakes, just like when I was a kid. But I wasn’t that kid anymore—I never even liked them; it was always the twins’ favorite, not mine. “Thanks,” I muttered, picking at the food without much enthusiasm.

Wilbur leaned back in his chair, still grinning like he was the king of the world. “So, what’s the plan for today? Any grand adventures planned, Ris?”

“Just school,” I repeated, hoping they’d drop it.

“Come on, there’s gotta be more to your life than that,” Wilbur pushed, his tone teasing.

I didn’t reply, focusing on my food instead. They didn’t get it—they didn’t see how suffocating this all was, how out of place I felt. To them, this was just a fun little reunion. To me, it was a reminder of everything they had missed, everything they didn’t know about me anymore.

Phil must have sensed the tension because he quickly changed the subject. “Maybe we can all have dinner together tonight. How does that sound?”

“Sure,” I replied flatly, already dreading the thought. Another forced gathering where I’d have to pretend like everything was okay, like we were still a family. But I couldn’t bring myself to say no. It wasn’t worth the argument.

I finished my breakfast as quickly as I could, eager to escape the suffocating atmosphere. “I’m heading out,” I said, grabbing my bag.

“Have a good day at school!” Phil called after me as I walked out the door.

The drive to school was a blur, my mind occupied with thoughts of how to get through the day. As soon as I arrived, I made a beeline for Puffy’s office. I needed to talk to someone who actually understood, someone who wouldn’t just brush off my feelings.

I knocked on the door, and Puffy’s warm voice invited me in. She was at her desk, papers scattered everywhere, but she looked up with a smile when she saw me. “Tommy, hey. How are you holding up?”

I sank into the chair across from her, feeling the weight of everything hit me all at once. “They don’t get it, Puffy. They act like nothing’s changed, like they can just walk back into my life and everything will be fine.”

Puffy’s expression softened with understanding. “That’s a lot to deal with, Tommy. It’s not fair for them to expect you to just move on like that.”

“They don’t even realize how much they’ve missed. They don’t know me anymore. And they’re not even trying to understand that.” My voice shook with frustration and hurt, emotions I’d been holding back for too long.

Puffy nodded, leaning forward slightly. “You don’t have to pretend everything’s okay, Tommy. It’s alright to feel angry, to feel hurt. But you don’t have to face this alone, okay? I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, Puffy,” I whispered, feeling a small bit of relief. At least here, in this room, I didn’t have to pretend.

We spent the rest of the period talking, and by the time I left her office, I felt a little more grounded. But as I walked to my first class, I couldn’t shake the feeling of dread. The day ahead loomed like a dark cloud, and I knew that no matter how hard I tried to avoid it, the tension at home would be waiting for me at the end of it.

I spent the rest of the day drifting through school, barely paying attention. The morning's events weighed on me, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place. By the time classes ended, I needed to escape, to be anywhere but home.

Instead of heading straight back, I wandered to the park. Sitting on a bench, I watched people pass by, feeling disconnected from the world around me. My phone buzzed in my pocket, pulling me from my thoughts. It was Deo.

**Love 🧡:** *Hey, where are you? Everything okay?*

I hesitated before replying.

**Tom:** *Just needed some air. I’ll be home soon.*

**Love 🧡:**

*Want some company? I can meet you wherever you are.*

This time, I didn’t hesitate.

**Tom:** *Yeah, that’d be good. I’m at the park.*

Within minutes, Deo arrived, their familiar presence easing some of the tension in my chest. They sat next to me, not saying anything, just being there. That was what I needed—someone who didn’t expect me to talk if I wasn’t ready.

After a few minutes of silence, I finally spoke. “I don’t know how to deal with them being back, Darlin. They act like nothing’s changed, like I’m still that kid they left behind.”

Deo nodded, their expression sympathetic. “It’s tough, Toms. They were gone for so long, and they don’t understand what you went through. You’ve grown, and they missed that.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “They missed everything.”

Deo reached over, squeezing my hand. “You don’t have to deal with this alone, though. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

I gave them a small smile, grateful for their support. “Thanks, darling. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

We sat there together, watching the sky darken as the sun began to set. I wasn’t ready to go home yet, but with Deo by my side, it didn’t seem as daunting. At least I had someone who understood, someone who wouldn’t leave.

Eventually, we stood up, and Deo looped their arm through mine as we walked. “Come on,” they said with a soft smile. “Let’s get you home. We can figure this out together.”

I nodded, feeling a bit lighter than I had all day. With Deo beside me, maybe—just maybe—I could find a way to navigate this mess.

The setting sun cast long shadows as Deo and I walked through the park. I was grateful for their company; it made the looming family dinner seem a little less daunting. The gentle rustle of leaves and the distant laughter of children playing were oddly soothing.

“Thanks for walking me home,” I said, my voice subdued. “I didn’t really know how to face them alone.”

Deo smiled, their eyes reflecting a mixture of warmth and concern. “I’m happy to be here for you. I know it’s a lot to handle.”

The conversation flowed easily between us, punctuated by the occasional silence as we passed through familiar streets. I could feel the tension in my chest slowly easing, if only a little. Their presence was like a shield against the uncertainty that awaited me at home.

“So, what’s the plan for tonight?” Deo asked, their tone light but their eyes searching mine.

I sighed. “There’s a family dinner. They’ve planned this big ‘welcome back’ thing. Phil, Wilbur, and Techno are all going to be there. It feels like everyone’s expecting things to be just like they were before, but it’s not that simple.”

Deo’s face softened with understanding. “People often want things to go back to normal, but it’s not always that straightforward. I get it, though—sometimes it feels like you’re supposed to slot back into place, but you’re not sure how.”

We continued walking, the silence between us more comfortable now. I glanced at them, appreciating their ability to understand without needing me to explain everything.

“I’m just not sure if I’m ready for all of this,” I admitted. “It feels like everyone’s been waiting for some sort of miracle, and I don’t know if I can deliver that.”

Deo nodded, their expression thoughtful. “You don’t have to be someone you’re not. It’s okay to take things at your own pace. You don’t have to pretend for anyone.”

We reached my house, the familiar front porch and warm glow of the living room light a stark contrast to the turbulent emotions churning inside me. I hesitated at the gate, feeling a lump form in my throat.

They could sense my reluctance. “I’m not coming in for dinner,” they said gently. “I think it’s important for you to face this, but I want you to know I’m here if you need me. You can call or text anytime. I’m always here for you, darling.”

I looked at them, their sincerity a small comfort. “Are you sure? I could really use some support.”

Deo gave me a reassuring smile. “I’m sure. I think you need to handle this on your own, but know that I’m just a call away. I’ll be here if it gets too much.”

I nodded, feeling a mix of gratitude and apprehension. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

Deo gave my hand one last squeeze and a peck on the cheek before stepping back. “Go on. I know you’ve got this.”

“Love you, mi querido,” I said as they were about to leave.

“Love you too, darling.”

I watched as they walked away, their figure gradually disappearing into the distance. The sense of relief I felt was tempered by the anxiety that still lingered. I turned towards the house, steeling myself for what lay ahead.

As I walked through the front door, I was greeted by the clatter of dishes and the hum of conversation. The dining room was set, and the rich aroma of the meal filled the air. It was all so familiar and yet foreign.

Phil, Wilbur, and Techno were already seated, their faces lighting up as they saw me. Their smiles seemed genuine, but they felt like they belonged to a different time, a different version of myself. I forced a smile and took my seat at the table, the atmosphere thick with a mixture of excitement and underlying tension.

The dinner started off with polite conversation and surface-level questions about my time away. Everyone seemed eager to reconnect, but the effort felt strained. Phil was particularly enthusiastic, sharing stories of their adventures and catching me up on the latest news. Wilbur and Techno joined in, their voices a backdrop to the growing discomfort I felt.

As the evening wore on, it became clear that the attempt at normalcy wasn’t going to bridge the gap that had formed. The easy camaraderie we once shared felt like it was being forced, and I found myself retreating further into silence. Each conversation felt like a performance, with everyone trying their best to act like everything was okay while ignoring the unspoken tensions.

The more they tried to include me, the more isolated I felt. The sense of disconnection grew, and despite their best efforts, it became evident that things couldn’t just fall back into place as if nothing had happened. It was as if there was an invisible wall between us, one that wasn’t going to come down easily.

Wilbur eventually noticed my growing quietness and placed a tentative hand on my shoulder. “Ris, is everything alright? You seem… distant.”

I looked up, meeting his concerned gaze. “Yep, just peachy.”

Techno nodded, his expression concerned, not fully believing me.

Their understanding was a small comfort, but it didn’t change the underlying reality. The evening had been an attempt at reconciliation, but it had also highlighted how much had changed. The familiar dynamics of our relationships were fractured, and the dinner was a stark reminder of that reality.

As the night wore on, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something fundamental had shifted. The dinner had been a step towards reconnecting, but it had also made it clear that we were all grappling with a new normal that didn’t yet fit.

When the meal finally came to an end, I excused myself, feeling the weight of the evening pressing down on me. I retreated to my room, the quiet of the space a stark contrast to the earlier bustle. As I lay in bed, I replayed the events of the night in my mind, feeling a mixture of frustration and resignation.

The evening hadn’t gone as I had hoped. Instead of feeling a renewed sense of connection, I was left with the realization that the path to reconciling with my family was going to be a long and difficult one. The dinner had been a step, but it was clear that there was still much to be worked through.

I turned off the light and stared at the ceiling, the darkness around me a fitting reflection of the uncertainty that lay ahead. The journey to healing and rebuilding was far from over, and it was clear that the road would be more challenging than I had anticipated.

As I drifted off to sleep, I felt a pang of sadness for what was lost and a resolve to face whatever came next, one step at a time. The path ahead was unclear, but I knew I had to navigate it with honesty and patience, even if it meant acknowledging that some things might never return to how they once were.