Archive of Our Own ^beta

Contrary to popular belief, Khun Aguero Agnis never thought himself to be much different from his siblings.

Sure, he was pretty unique in the fact that he had been abandoned, was closely acquainted with several princesses of Jahad, actively conspiring with FUG and acting as the main strategist of their irregular slayer candidate; but other than that, Khun would think of himself of just like everyone else in his cursed family.

At best, another carbon copy of a Khun.

At worst, another mindless puppet for his father to throw around as he pleased.

There weren’t many things in the Tower that Aguero despised as much as the idea of his father holding any sort of power over him, was one of the only thoughts that had the power to turn his heart pitch-black with silent rage. Regardless of whether he wanted to, the ghost of his heritage still haunted him - despite having no ties to his family any more. It was twisted, the way the threads of his history always seemed to linger in Agueros life, plaguing him almost like a sick joke.

Especially considering that throughout most of Agueros childhood, the family leader had been nothing more than a distant figure; to Aguero, Khun Eduan was always closer to an idea rather than a living person. Typically for a child of the great families, Aguero and Eduan had never exchanged words, let alone crossed paths during the time he had lived at the Khun estate. If Eduan had acknowledged his existence even once, Aguero hadn't been able to tell, not back then at least - the man had always been more like a floating ghost than a parental figure.

His mother used to tell him, just one more - one more win, one more kill and then the family leader would surely call upon them, grant his sister the honor of a princess nomination and his mother the title of “honored wife”.

What would happen to Aguero remained unspoken.

In his memories of his mother, to her, his father had always been much more of a god than a husband. Ironically, despite the discrepancy, Aguero had been much closer to his mother; almost everything he knew of life, he had learned from her. She was the one that taught him how to wield a knife, how to sense someone's true intention underneath sweet words, how to discard one's feelings for logic and reason; essentially, how to become a Khun. Even though she was no Khun, just as the other wives. In order for them to claim their spot, they had to bear children with the blood of their god.

In the end, all Khun children were the same in that aspect: descendants of their father, raised by power-hungry mothers, all united in their wrath towards the people that brought them up. Of course, that was what united them from the inside. The true gag of the story however was in looking at a sea of blue hair and eyes and barely noticing the difference. No matter how hard they tried; a descendant of Khun could be a general in Jahads army or working for FUG, but in the face of the family would be worthless if not having been approved by the family head.

To survive in such a high-strung environment, you either had to adapt or be ready to die.

Aguero was more than aware of these circumstances and thus, from an early age on, quickly became known as the deadly strategist.

Ruthless, is what they would call him later on.

Always thinking ten steps ahead.

Never to be trusted.

A traitor.

Seriously, it became really funny to Aguero, how the family decided to turn on him for implementing the fundamentals of what made him him, the very same teachings that had once granted him the privilege of joining the main family. Somehow, that ruthlessness that had once helped his branch climb the ranks, was now the sole reason for their utter ruin.

Suddenly, Aguero became a cursed being, his existence no longer allowed.

He had served his purpose.

But if Aguero wasn't supposed to be the cold and heartless strategist, then who was he?

It was when he had been forced to attend the mandated classes for members of the main families, when Aguero had started to truly notice just how much of his being belonged to the family, and not to himself. Before school, when he looked into the mirror, was the first time he saw the true product of murderous ambition.

In his eyes, he also saw a weapon.

From an early age, Aguero was used to hearing comments on his looks, emphasizing just how much he resembled his father both in the allure and demeanor. Later on, when Aguero started wielding the ice spear, he was confronted with even more proof of how the same blood flowed in their veins. That fact Aguero had to accept, bitterly.

But even worse, when he was younger, far too many people used to mistake Aguero for his sister and regularly assumed him to be her. At every instance, Aguero gulped down the burning disappointment.

Absurd.

The claim was nothing but absurd, a feat so beyond himself, he couldn't help but laugh in disdain. Aguero had always known; in this family, a man could never amount to a princess.

Yet, they all looked Aguero in the eyes and saw Agnis instead.

Blue, a rich blue as deep as the shinsu ocean; blazing azure, suspendium, the night sky succumbing to the light; his sister's eyes reflected the beauty and vastness of her future.

In contrast, Aguero wasn't sure what his eyes would reflect.

Coldness, perhaps? Shattered dreams, broken promises?

Besides his shallow looks, Aguero didn't feel like there was much to discover in him. It was a known fact that Khuns were of remarkable beauty and particular grace, never letting the mask of ambiguity slip. But with that, Khuns carried a special kind of reputation, the kind that came with whispered rumors and hushed words of secrecy.

Every Khun knew of the art of seduction.

From an early age, in addition to practical fighting, debating and studying the fine arts, Khun children were subjected to lessons of behavioral psychology and sexual vulnerability. How one might exploit such weakness; how one might use one's own sexuality as a weapon.

Truthfully, Khun Eduan probably didn't know much about what his kids were studying in school; but the fact that all of wives felt like it was of utmost necessity to teach their children about the power of lust proved something sinister. Even though he had no need to manipulate anyone sexually, Khun Eduan himself was the true epitome of what a high sexual drive and no moral compass could do to a person. After all it were his brazen stories of wild nights and countless amounts of sex that have left quite the stain on their family’s reputation among the tower. No matter if it was a woman or man, old or young, beautiful or painfully average; everyone had a story to tell about Khun Eduan.

And so the very first thing Aguero learnt in school was that his body was simply a tool.

You could use it as a weapon to kill; as a vessel for nourishment or an outlet for basic human needs. Because truly, to Khuns, sex was nothing more than an itch to be scratched.

Just view it as a transaction, his teacher had instilled in them. So, before your first time, you should negotiate a higher price for that - after all you lose that special value and thus, the leverage to negotiate, afterwards.

His teacher threw a sharp glance at him. Of course you can just lie about it too - there’s plenty of ways to stage a virginity.

Aguero remained blank-faced at the soulless preachings of his teacher.

In school, they showed them the right ways to touch someone to make them go all weak, vulnerable spots, aphrodisiacs and how the right amount of seduction could be of an advantage in negotiations. They had discussed the power of mastering feminine traits in males and masculine traits in females. After all, they were the possible princesses of Jahad. For them, obtaining undisputable strength was the least expected. Yet, they were still expected to have absolutely zero tolerance towards sex.

So in hindsight it really shouldn’t be surprising that the boys were all the more pressured to make good use of their lessons - after all, they had no chance at becoming a Princess of Jahad either way.

That day, during dinner, his mother had asked him about what he had learnt in school. Aguero was no fool; he knew his mother had memorized the curriculum by heart. She was very well aware that he knew too.

You should put it to good use, she had whispered, echoing the words of his teacher, while caressing his shoulder-length hair. Aguero knew that he was considered oddly pretty, even among the sea of his siblings. Even though the trademark blue features and otherworldly beauty of Khuns were quite famous in their own right, something about Aguero was sharp, yet so enticing. Alluring. Perhaps it was something about being attracted to danger that made people flock to him like moths to a flame.

At the desiring looks he received, Aguero couldn't help but curse his existence. His mother, however, seemed satisfied; to her, it was like gazing at her own success, but also seeing something otherworldly, something she wouldn't be able to obtain in her lifetime.

Traces of her god in their son.

Before retreating to her chambers, she kissed his forehead. Remember to take your knife with you, okay?

That night, Aguero found himself waiting by the fountains.

The boy he had struck a deal with was a young guard. Recently, he had been demoted for his excessive sexual drive and was forced to patrol the gardens. Aguero knew, since he was the one who had hacked the servers with the patrol shifts and obtained that valuable information. He also knew that the boy had aimed to become part of the main family, yet dropped out of the tournament a few hours prior.

Nerves, probably.

Something that had no place in the Khun family.

So, the boy ended up as a lowly guard, forced to never climb the ranks and serve his former competitors until the day he perished. Aguero knew they were about the same age, yet had vastly different upbringings; it wasn't too surprising to find out that the boy enjoyed seeking out daring children from the main family and blackmailed them for sexual favors.

One way or another everybody wanted to belong to the elite, Aguero assumed.

So, it wasn't too hard to leave clues to the other; clues that indicated Aguero might be willing for a trade. In hindsight, the guard should have known - a boy from the main family, famed for his cunning and manipulativeness? He was practically asking for it, the wives would whisper, afterwards.

So, Aguero met him by the fountain, late at night, dressed in nothing but a sheer night robe. The hidden knives were just accessories. The guard met him two minutes late, self-satisfied sneer visible from afar. He probably thought he had finally moved up the ranks, scored with someone able to connect him even further.

Once he came into Agueros sight, he took in the view of him like a starved man. So, where do you want to do it? He had spat out, no introduction or formalities in sight. Straight to the point, as forward as it could be. Inwards, Aguero chuckled to himself; he was just as dumb as his research has shown.

His eyes flashed blue, If you want to fuck me, then you should at least have the decency of providing me with a bed.

The boy clicked his tongue in annoyance. Fine. After sneaking Aguero into his chambers, humble and a bit outside of the main estate, the guard threw his shoes off and went to stand right before Aguero, expectant and domineering.

An inch from his face, Aguero gulped. Somehow, he didn't expect another person so close to feel that foreign, bordering weird.

A hand went to his hips, a mouth to his neck, and suddenly he found himself in an embrace from another boy, and his body was warm, too warm, and suddenly Aguero realized he despised it, wholly and completely.

His body was supposed to be a cold tool; but why did it feel ablaze, with disgust and fury?

The further the boy went, the hotter Agueros spite became.

Before his hands went to open the sash of his nightgown, Aguero gripped the other's wrist. The guard halted in his movements, brows furrowed. What's it with you? Aguero couldn't meet his eyes, too disgusted with what he might find there. Nothing, he breathed instead, index finger slowly inching towards the tiny knife he had stored in his ring, sitting neatly on his middle finger.

Just keeping my end of the deal, right?

After all Aguero had promised him respite from his agony.

As he sat atop the bloodied corpse, Aguero stared down at the red-stained lips of the boy; moments ago, they had been on his neck, tracing mindless patterns. The neck he had gripped so fiercely was now torn apart, warm blood seeping to his thighs. His eyes layed there, lifeless and dull. Their reflection made Aguero gaze at himself, dressed in white, as pure as snow. Bathing in red, another death on his hand.

Even though it had only been a few minutes, their embrace had already felt like a lifetime ago.

Gulping down the knot in his throat, he averted his gaze to the nightstand. He still had to get the diary of the other princess candidate, the one the guard had kept as blackmail against her. This is what he came for after all.

When he returned the following morning, his mother smiled at the bloodstain on his ankle.

“Good job.”

Ever since that day, in terms of sexual advances, Aguero had kept himself shut off.

Isolated.

Alone.

Some would say - pristine.

Surprisingly, even after he had left the family, Aguero never felt the desire to share heated embraces and stolen kisses, engage in closeness and love and sex; at the sheer thought of having sex shivers crawled down his spine. Shivers of pure disgust. Frankly, any physical touch for that matter proved to be a hard topic for Aguero.

After all, touching somebody meant establishing a connection; a last fleeting moment before he would then go on and slit their throats.

Caress their cheek before stabbing them in the chest.

A soft touch on the forehead before strangling the other to their death.

Killing somebody was in a twisted way, a sign of love. After all, that was what his sister used to tell him.

In all of their time together, she had touched him exactly on two occasions.

The first time it happened was when she had assumed he was asleep. That day, Aguero decided to go to bed with his knife strapped to his thigh - an asassination attempt was made on a princess candidate the previous night and he simply could not be underprepared for when the opportunity arose. Aguero kept his eyes closed, breathing even and mind focused. Of course he anticipated the quiet footsteps, the slow approach and then-

A caress. Her slender fingers quietly rested over his head, simply prolonging the small gesture.

She had felt warm.

That very night Aguero fell to sleep being terrified to his core.

The second time it had happened was the day his sister held onto Agueros wrist, as she put an end to her own life.

That day he felt something akin to horror for the first time. Dread creeping up his spine, bile rising in his throat, eyes and head stinging; it was a foreign feeling, a coldness so all-consuming. Similar, yet so different, to his first encounter with the guard. At the time he felt like he was burning alive; now he was freezing cold.

Aguero vowed to never have to go through again.

The day after her death, as he strutted to the inner Tower, he chose to go by Khun instead of Aguero. With that, Khun was burying all of his old self beneath a sly smirk and sharp knife. In a twisted way, Khun became a shield he could hide beneath; Aguero held too many emotions, was much too vulnerable for the cruelty of the Tower.

He used to cry a lot, when he was little, not yet introduced to the family. When things were easier, when he had to be nothing more than Aguero. Each and every time, his mother was the one who held him at night, comfort so fleeting. By the time the sun rose again, she went back to raising a Khun.

In the end, Khun Aguero Agnis may be Eduan's child, but he was Agnis' son first.

Maybe that's why he ended up chasing a god as well.

Meeting Bam was, of course, not exactly in his plan, and the few touches they shared haven't been as unpleasant as he initially had feared. Yet still; a hug, a handshake and occasional shoulder bump was all he could afford the past years in order to keep himself hidden away, to keep himself safe.

Touching someone meant sharing a part of yourself and gifting it to them - for Khun this was all he could manage in order to keep their friendship in a place where it was secure.

This was good.

This was how things were meant to be.

So when they arrived on the 84th floor he wasn't particularly worried about the upcoming floor test. Their team was strong and the recent floors have been swept up in a breeze, especially since Bam had been taking up more missions from FUG. Due to that, he not only upped his training regime; the calls with Jinsung Ha almost tripled as well.

At times, Bam would call his master in the midst of a workout, pocket floating above him while lifting 15kg at once. A sight Khun found himself struggling to reconcile with the image of the frail boy he used to be; Bam has truly evolved from a once starry eyed boy to a man.

Khun worried; at this pace, Bam might continue to evolve into a god.

Even though Khun had never particularly believed in god, looking at Bam now had him feeling a certain kind of awe, a desire and intimidation he had never associated with the small boy he once decided to devote himself to.

What will you continue to grow into? Khun questioned at night, when he couldn't seem to find rest and spent agonizing hours thinking about his inevitable future.

The kind of future where he will be left behind, the kind of where he will stand by the sidelines and gaze upon the man he once chose to follow - and only see the shadow cast on him.

“Khun!”

Khun looked up and all he saw was gold, the gold he so desperately wanted to keep safe and hidden away for eternity.

His heart ached at the thought; but instead, he sighed deeply. “Bam, haven't I told you to stop walking around shirtless?” Khun reprimanded, no real heat in his voice. “It may be the gym but it's still inappropriate for you to just walk around half-naked all the time.”

At the lecture, Bam grinned innocently.

Recently, Bam picked up the habit of working out in, well, practically nothing. His daily gym sessions were divided into sparring, fight lessons and individual work out sessions and since his clothes would ultimately get shredded by the sparring, he basically decided to ditch them altogether.

He felt bad for troubling his Master, Bam would say and then, Khun would sigh and lend him the third shirt for the week.

Said Bam continued grinning and walked straight over to Khun who was sitting on a lighthouse, looking over their recently discussed test strategy for the upcoming floor. Research and planning. Strategizing, and then scrapping these plans altogether. The only thing he was familiar with these days, still battling the aftermath of various ambushes on the higher floors controlled by Jahads forces.

Deep in his thoughts, he almost missed Bams closeness. “What, like what you see?” Bam smiled and moved to stand even closer to the lightbearer, closing the safe distance between them and entering dangerous territory for Khun. He angled his body in a way where it was almost impossible not to look at the sweat dripping down his temple, the way his muscles flexed and his light tan; the way it illuminated his complexion like a sheer halo of gold.

See, that was the problem for Khun.

It was impossible not to notice when Bam acted that way, when Khun always ended up to be the number one victim for his little antics.

Antics that were not in alignment with the vow Khun made to himself.

Deciding not to grace the wave controller with a response, Khun fumbled on his screen tab, casting his eyes upon the numbers, something to distract him from the irregular before him.

A very smug looking irregular, to be noted.

Khun tried to keep his voice even and not let his sudden nervousness show.

It's just Bam, he tried to reason with himself. You've been in love with him for years. This is nothing new, get a grip.

“It can't be worse than the passing rate for the upcoming test, that's for sure.” There was a furrow between Bam's brows, a shift in his demeanor. “That bad?” he asked, quietly. “Yeah,” Khun breathed, hopping off the lighthouse. “Four teams failed the last time and worse, they seem to be aware of our arrival tomorrow.”

Khun stepped closer to the window, a faraway look in his eyes. The shinsu clouds moved slowly, deliberately and purposefully, in the same direction. Graceful movements painting the sky. Light blue met a lovely shade of soft orange, meeting in the middle to create a beautiful sunset.

It was peaceful, Khun somberly noted.

“It's very likely they'll adjust the test to trip us up or even worse, trap us in one of their little games.”

Behind him, Bam seemed to take in his sharp words, walking over to the water station and grabbing a fresh towel, as well as a blue sports drink. From his peripheral view, Khun discreetly kept an eye on his actions. Mustering the color, Bam seemed to hold his thoughts for a fraction of a second, before ditching whatever was passing his mind. He instead uncapped the bottle and quickly began sipping on it, while muttering something unintelligible to Khun.

Leaving the cloudy display, Khun turned around to properly face him, casting a shadow on the illuminated window. “What was that you said?”

Only a moment ago the brown haired boy had seemed lost in his thoughts - a beat later Bam's carefree smile returned and he directed the intense gaze towards his light bearer again. “Well, I'm not worried at all.” Bam smirked and wiped his mouth, throwing the now empty drink into the trash can and it - of course - landing right in the target.

“After all, I do have the best swindler in the tower right by my side, right?”

He seemed to be so assured in his lightbearer, that Khun couldn't help but wonder why. The sheer confidence in Bam's voice did not make Khun feel any better, on the contrary; he felt even worse thinking about the expectations his best friend held for him.

Because that's what they were, friends.

Nothing more, nothing less.

In the back of his mind, Khun was very well aware that this was dangerous. The light teasing, gazes lingering, a touch here and there - yet, Khun couldn't be certain about this slow shift in their dynamic, the meaning this could possibly hold. Bam changed, in the years he was asleep, and grew into the man now standing in front of him. That man however was looking at him with a gaze that was meant to devour; a hidden desire sizzling behind the confident stare.

By now, Khun knew; one day he was either going to drown in these eyes or find himself burned in their intensity.

*

Bam knew he liked Khun for a long time now.

The first time he realized his more-than-friendly-feelings for the blue-haired boy was when the 25th Bam died and Jyu Viole Grace was born.

Aching loneliness and endless training were the only things keeping him going, despite the looming threat of FUG killing his friends and most cherished person. He trained himself to endure, bite down the pain and keep hanging on the slightest bit of hope - and sure enough, Bam was rewarded with reuniting with his dear friends during the worst of possible times during the workshop battle.

Finally, I have made it out of hell, he reflected, watching Khun and Rak slumber by his side. At least Bam thought so, until the day his best friend, genius strategist, his lightbearer, most cherished person, his Khun, was ambushed by the one he once considered his entire world.

That fateful day Bam had felt a rage like never before, a slow kind that ravages the mind as soon as it slips up and lets the feeling run wild.

Once again, Bam felt like he descended to the deepest pits of hell.

Afterwards, he vowed to himself to never let his friends come into danger like that again, even if that meant abandoning his past principles and taking one step closer to the monster others had called him. Had always feared himself to be.

In a way, maybe Arlene was right; Bam would certainly sacrifice his humanity if that meant keeping the ones the loved safe.

Despite Ureks words of keeping his integrity and authenticity, no matter what, Bam was unsure of what the right way ahead would be. In the face of danger, Bam knew; he wasn't impartial to whom he would save, was not the just god he wished he could be. Still, regardless of the consequences, Bam would make sure that he will be the one bearing the burden of being an irregular.

The ultimate trophy card the tower so desired.

Khun seemed to disagree on that part, judging how he kept insisting on doing things in place for Bam. The moment he almost got struck by Lo Po Bia branch leader, right in front of him; Bam was not sure what the aftermath would've been, though Gustang had saved him at last. Even when Dumas had pierced his heart, Bam managed to bring him back to life. How many times more Khun insisted on dying for Bam, he genuinely dreaded to know.

Bam utterly despised seeing his friends hurt, but it was almost ironic how deeply the same desire to protect Khun ran through him; the things he would do, the people he'd kill for him.

It was all evident on the fact how preserving his kindness did not necessarily mean he was a merciful being.

In that way, Khun might be wrong about him; Bam was not a saint.

Especially not during the quiet moments at night where he would lie awake and imagine taking his lightbearer apart.

Bam was not new to the concept of sex - FUG made sure to teach him all there was to teach a man about. Making sure to use the asset if the need arose, offering him prostitutes of all kinds just to ensure his compliance. Really, FUG was pathetic if they thought he would give into temptation at a time, where his reason to live was in constant threat.

Bam may not have taken the offer to indulge in these adult activities, but he did entertain certain thoughts about his lightbearer. First, it started out as a single wet dream, the kind where sloppy kisses and sensational tugs led to an overwhelming pleasure he had never experienced before. Hazy visuals and lost memories afterwards. In the beginning, Bam didn't think much of it. However, it spiraled into way more explicit scenarios, much too heady to even make up while he was conscious.

It was always a blue haired person in his dreams, soft hair illuminating the hues of silver and a dusty rose on their skin. The blue haired figure in his dream had whispered his name, pretty blush rising high on their cheeks, the look in these azure eyes dazed.

“Bam-” they gasped, single drop of pearly sweat making its way down their parted lips, “-Please.”

Even in his dreams, nobody has ever begged Bam like that; not in a tone that dripped off temptation, let alone with that expression of sheer need.

From then everything went wrong as he started to experience the same dream over and over and over again.

Every night Bam was plagued by the alluring smile and flash of blue.

He dubbed the dream person as the “fake Khun”.

Sometimes, fake Khun would steal little kisses, laying his head on Bams neck and embracing him from behind.

Other times, fake Khun would sit on his lap and ride his cock into oblivion.

He especially liked sucking on Bams fingers, pretending to be licking the dripping dick that was repeatedly abusing his wet hole. Or he would share sloppy kisses with Bam while fingering himself over his cock and then, in a grand display, cumming all over it.

Dream Bam would always know what to say and what to do to make fake Khun feel good.

They were in perfect unity.

Real Bam was not sure if he could live up to that because right now, real Khun was not exactly looking or feeling good.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

The test administrator stared blankly.

“It means, you will all have to take the test separately. Since you will be taking on a trial of courage you must prove your place in the group first before moving on to the next stage.” The test administrator of the 84th floor was looking borderline bored, having been exhausted explaining the same test for the nth time already.

At the sight of a nerve popping on Khuns forehead, Bam already worried over the constitution of his lightbearer that kept looking more and more agitated already.

The 84th floor was not exactly known for its kindness or particular difficulty towards the regulars. It was a place simply meant to determine whether you were equipped to continue the climb onwards, more in terms of a rite of passage. It mostly consisted of a single test for the team, a light challenge to make use of their skill sets and shared assets - up until that point, it was unheard of to have separate individual tests for teams like theirs.

The expression on Khuns face turned even darker. “This is most certainly a set up,” he hissed under his breath and turned towards his pulled up lighthouse screen.

Bam did not like that look on his face.

“Don't worry, we've been through worse, right? In comparison to Jahads army, this is a piece of cake!” Shibisu tried to argue, but the desperate grin and shaky laugh betrayed his nonchalance, left leg rapidly shaking and shoulders hunched back.

Bam knew; his team was most certainly not what you'd describe as weak, as they have been through hell and back and yet mastered most of their challenges so far. Thus, Bam had been pretty confident in their abilities and couldn't quite grasp why his lightbearer seemed to be particularly worried this time.

Khun sneered at Shibisus mindless comment. “I genuinely could care less about Jahads forces right now.” His hand typing away at several plans and instead of humoring Shibisus sharp inhale, Khun seemed to channel his energy into pulling some last minute contingency plans in case this entire ordeal went up in flames. “Plus we don't even know what the test entails this time around,” he added under his breath.

Bam felt like he had to assure him somehow. “Khun, I'm pretty sure it's going to be alright.” Bam rested his left hand on Khuns shoulder, meaning for a calming and friendly gesture. At the sweet move, the blue haired boy sighed in defeat, “I know. But it's better to be prepared, in case somebody tries to take you away again.” Khun turned around to face Bam and suddenly Bam couldn't breathe, trying to withstand the sudden intense gaze from his lightbearer.

In it, he saw unwavering worry, inkling doubt, an “I can't lose you all over again” and yet - trust.

Under all those layers, there was still an unshakeable trust in these azure eyes.

Bam decided to take a leap of faith.

“Do you trust me?”

Bam had learned his lesson - with Khun, it never made sense to beat around the bush.

Khuns' eyes widened, his lips slightly parting and closing again, eyes suddenly downcast. An all to familiar longing passed over his face and all Bam wanted to do was reach out, touch that silky hair, drag a finger down to the plump lips and pull-

“Bam, I-”

A loud crash pulled Bam out of his predicament, shifting all of their attention to the test administrator.

“Regulars, it is time for the first member of your team to enter. Please proceed to the door on your left.”

Seizing the opportunity, Khun quickly tore his eyes from Bam and jumped from his seat on his lighthouse. “You've heard the man. I'll go first if nobody has any complaints?” The stern tone left no real room to argue with.

Bam could only watch his back, as Khun walked towards the door and left the team with lingering doubts and a sense of unease.

He didn't get to tell him to come back safely.

*

The test on the 84th floor was supposed to be a simple one; you must overcome your greatest fear in order to pass. Past tests mostly included stuff that was within reason, often anxieties or trauma from climbing the tower; facing off against powerful rankers, being banished from their family or failing a floor test.

Khun did not anticipate this when he volunteered to go first.

Regular Khun Aguero Agnis: In order to pass the 84th floor, you must overcome your fear of having sex.

That's what was being projected on the screen before him.

He stared blankly.

Blinked once.

Then twice.

Closed his eyes, but no; that announcement was still very much there.

Khun was sure he was stuck in a nightmare, one of the kinds he chose to store far, far away in his mind. Once he had realized the sweat and erratic breathing the morning after, he knew it was the aftermath of one of these again. His unconscious forcing him to face his most hidden insecurities.

Sex.

That was the furthest thing he expected to be asked from him.

He let out a strained laugh. Having sex was nothing but a simple transaction, a way to take something and give back; sex was nothing to him.

At least that's what he repeated to himself, the teachings of a Khun still instilled in him, even after he chose to abandon his identity as Aguero.

Khun huffed and turned towards the illuminated screen. “Who said my biggest fear was having sex?” Having no framework for the test, he decided to try and argue his way out. “As far as I am concerned I have never engaged in such a thing to make me fear it.”

Khun was sure they could read his bluff, hell, he didn't even try to convince himself at this point. A new screen popped up instead, crushing all of his hopes at once.

Select a person from your team to take the test with you. You have 48 hours to complete your part, in order to proceed to the next stage.

The administrator didn't even bother to respond to his complaint.

Khun let out a shaky breath, nervously playing with the front strands of his hair.

The last time he felt this disoriented during a test, was the very first one he took with Bam and Rak and in that case, they were the ones showing him a new path in the end; his personal ray of light and hope.

This time, he was all alone.

This is fine. Instead of sinking into a deep panic, he assessed his surroundings. A bed manifested in front of him, stocked with several supplies of adult gadgets.

God.

They were seriously expecting him to go through with it.

Khun gripped his own shaky hand. It's fine. This'll just be another test.

Gathering his thoughts, Khun strengthened his resolve and moved towards the screen tab. He had to choose, otherwise the team would fail to move forward and he would ultimately be a burden to Bam.

Bam.

If he was being honest with himself, there was nobody else than Bam that he would rather share a bed, let alone sleep with. The amount of times Khun had to physically restrain himself from his feelings leaking out and mask his true desire for the irregular was honestly ridiculous. And yet he'd rather jump off a cliff than summon Bam here and force him to do such a thing with him. There was absolutely no way Khun would sabotage their hard earned friendship and indulge in these selfish desires, kept hidden underneath all those layers of denial and self-deprecation. Years of longing and watching from afar made Khuns mask as hard as steel and he would make sure it stayed exactly this way.

Assessing his remaining options, there wasn't really much to choose from; as much as he tolerated Shibisu on a good day, there was absolutely no way he would jump into bed with him. After all, he had to keep working with the man and still be able to look him in the eye.

Khun simply hated Hatz - the mere thought of doing anything remotely sexual with the scout made him want to throw up.

Realistically neither Endorsi -she was a princess of Jahad- or Anaak -she was a half-princess of Jahad- were options either, if only for the fact that he was not interested in women at all. That meant automatically that Elaine and Aria were out as well.

Hockney was too much of an outlier, especially since Khun would feel like somehow tainting his somehow still remaining innocence.

And Rak; well, that went unspoken for.

Really, it was a disaster on every single end and no matter how much Khun wrecked his mind, he didn't really come to a satisfactory conclusion.

Pacing around the test room, he found himself at a loss: nobody else aside from Bam was a real option, was it?

But choosing Bam meant choosing a future where he was ultimately giving a part of himself to the boy he loved, only to be inevitably discarded in the future.

While Khun was more than willing to be anything Bam wanted him to be, he at the very least wanted the brown haired boy to not be forced to commit to him in that way. To Bam, sex must be an intimate act, meant for the one he truly loved. Someday, he would marry somebody as equally as gorgeous as him, perhaps a pretty and kind hearted girl and grow old with her. They'd be surrounded by a big, warm and kind family and Khun-

Khun would happily stand by his side the entire time, up until the moment he couldn't keep up.

And yet - here he was, about to do the worst possible thing.

Letting out a shaky breath, he typed the chosen name in the screen tab floating above him.

Khun just hoped Bam would forgive him.

*

The words being projected on the screen did not make any sense at all.

Regular Khun Aguero Agnis: In order to pass the 84th floor, you must overcome your fear of having sex. Select a person from your team to take the test with you. You have 48 hours to complete your part, in order to proceed.

Bam was at a loss for words, his mind racing and heart erratically beating.

Sex?

Khun was afraid of having sex?

Of all possible things, it had to be the single most incomprehensible thing in the entire world.

Khun Aguero Agnis could literally have anybody he desired. Bam was convinced of it, because he would give anything to be with the other as well. The fact that several people on his past teams targeted Khun simply for his stunning looks and continued to pester him about it, spoke volumes about his attractiveness.

Even the heir to the Po Bideau Family could not resist his lightbearer.

So why would he ever fear such a thing?

All Bam wanted to do was walk up to his lightbearer and shake him by the shoulders, try to gain a semblance of understanding. How could Khun regard himself so little, to the point of fearing intimacy and love?

Even though Bam was shaken to the core, a little part of him ignited; Khun had to choose someone to take the test with him.

That meant he actually had a good chance at proving Khun wrong, maybe even confess his feelings.

So many times Bam had tried, desperately tried to keep his feelings down; at times, even felt like dismissing them entirely, at the way Khun regarded relationships and love as a burden. Kept throwing little clues to the other, who ignored them skillfully.

But this might be Bams' chance, knowing that Khun would choose him over anyone else on his team.

It might seem a bit arrogant, but Bam wasn't even the slightest bit worried about that. They were lightbearer and wave controller after all, the closest combination possible. They trusted each other with life.

So, why would this be any different?

While Bam kept pondering about this development, he completely missed the update being screencast above him. If it werent for the dramatic gasp, that sounded a lot like Shibisu, and an uttered “What the fuck?” from Endorsi, he would have missed anything in face of his shock.

Bam lifted his head to the noise and his heart skipped a beat; if they were confused before, Bam and the rest of their team were utterly flabbergasted now.

Regular Khun Aguero Agnis has chosen Regular Hatz to take the test with him.

A beat passed of nothing but tense silence.

Then, all eyes were immediately trained on Hatz, who to be fair, seemed genuinely at a loss.

“Huh?” Hockney sounded almost as panicked as Hatz looked. Endorsis' expression however resembled that of a lioness, having been challenged for her mate. Bam didnt know what that meant, bur her hissed “Hatz, what the fuck does that mean?” might be a good indicator of her stance on this situation. She whipped her head around, crossing her arms in a defensive pose, gesturing for him to speak. “Care to explain?”

An explanation for why Khun would want to sleep with Hatz.

Khun sleeping with Hatz, Khun having sex with Hatz.

Bam could not believe his eyes, they must have betrayed him somehow.

Why was there Hatzs on the screen name instead of his?

Did Khun make a mistake?

Were Hatz and Khun a couple all along and he somehow missed this all the time?

No.

Bams face darkened.

That was simply not an option.

Hatz's panicked voice ripped him away from his muddled thoughts. “I dont fucking know! Earrings never told me anything, I have no fucking clue whats he up to this time!” At this point Hatz was most certainly in a state of manic distress, the new situation putting him in an uncomfortable spot with everybody questioning his relationship with their lightbearer.

Endorsi seemed unconvinced of his explanation. “What, he just suddenly decided to stop hating you and instead fuck you?”

Bam shuddered at the mere image of Khun fucking Hatz, or worse, the bluenette getting fucked by the scout.

Blue hair spilling out from the sides of their pillow, two bodies moving to the same rhythm, broken moans filling the room. Khun would look so gorgeous being split on Hatzs thick cock, desperately wanting to reach out to touch more of the man looming above him. But he'd be restrained, Hatz using the lightbearers tie to tie his hands to the bedpost, making him completely submit to the swordsman.

Hatz would certainly not be gentle with the blue haired boy - he would slap his ass until it was sore, choke his long and slender throat, leave dark marks reeking of possession. Whisper words of “You belong to me and me only.” And Khun would love it and smile that brilliant smile of his, the one he used to reserve for Bam only.

Bams hands clenched, his jaw tensing.

Something sinister gripped his heart, tight.

That was absolutely not happening, not while he was standing here.

If Bam was a better man, he would give in and accept the fact that Khun might feel more comfortable with a friend instead of the man that kept dragging him up the tower and subjecting him to constant danger.

But he was no better man.

He found Khun first, Khun was his lightbearer and nobody else's.

It was never supposed to be anybody else but Bam.

Khun was his.

“I already told you, I don't know what's going on!” Clenching his sword, Hatz walked over to the screen, nearing the door to the test room. It seemed like he was preparing himself to enter the lion's den and face whatever was awaiting him.

Bam used the single split chance to intervene and make his way to the door instead.

“Administrator.” The irregular spoke to the door, using his shinsu to feel exactly where the test administrator of the 84th floor was located. “I have a request for you.”

Hatz turned his head, confusion visible on his face. “What are you doing?” he hissed.

Suppressing a dark laugh, he turned to face the scout- no, the man that Khun chose over him, to entrust his body to. To trust to be vulnerable with. He knew he was impulsive at times, but it took all of Bam not to smash his face to the ground, even though he realistically knew that Hatz was at no fault here.

As soon as it twitched in desire to reach for the scout, Bam gripped his shaking fist.

Instead, he glanced at the other, trying to reason with logic and less with his blazing fury. “Hatz, we all don't know what's going on, right? Wouldn't it make the most sense if I went with Khun instead of you?” Bam knew that he was not exactly putting the correct logic here first, but it was better than letting his emotions take full charge. “You guys literally never get along and will absolutely not pass this test at this rate,” he argued.

However, Endorsi really seemed to be out for his blood. “So what youre saying is that they cant fuck unless they like each other?” Her eyes turned sharp. “What, you like Khun? Is that it?” Moving swiftly, the princess stalked closer to him, accusingly pointing her index finger to Bam's chest. “You wanted to fuck him all along, am I right?”

Bam was really reaching his limit here.

The irregular blindly moved past Endorsi, ignoring the shouts of agitation and disbelief - at this point he didn't really care whether he came across as polite or considerate.

All that mattered was getting to Khun, behind the door.

Bam marched to the door, leading to the testing room and put his shaking hand on the handle, gripping it tightly, shaking the frame harshly - only, that it didn't budge. With every image of Khun and Hatz manifesting in his mind, the shaking intensified.

A sound came from under him.

Huh?

From the intense rattling, infused with pulsing shinsu, the door handle had started to crack. Specks of the paint flew to the ground, dusting the floor in pure white. The shinsu had wrapped around him, choking the space around him.

When did that start? Bam wondered, suddenly disoriented, and withdrew his hand for a second.

What was that aggressive urge to claim that kept coming back?

Why was he so incredibly bothered by the entire ordeal?

The irregular took a few steps back, quite shaken up. Bam put his palm to his feverish head and slowly closed his dizzy eyes for a moment, in order to gain a bit of clarity.

Khun was not his, Bam knew that.

He never was and never would be, and that's the harsh truth.

Insist and he'll leave you like she did, a little voice inside his head whispered back to him.

Bam shuddered, his eyes rapidly opening again. Sweat started to break out over his neck, every inhale and exhale suddenly feeling all the more intense. At the realization of blue leaving like the pale yellow, Bams eyelids suddenly felt so heavy.

No. He would make sure to never, ever let that happen again, no matter the cost. He had to let Khun decide for himself.

Take him. The snickering voices whispered. Mark him as yours and never let go again.

No! Stop!

His head hurt so much. Bam had waited years and years for his lightbearer to come to him, to realize Bam's devotion and promise himself to him, just like Bam had years ago, body and soul and Bam knew this was wrong, he knew the exact risk and overwhelming potential for this to be a complete and utter disaster - but he simply couldn't hold back anymore.

If Khun refused to come to Bam, then Bam simply had to get Khun instead.

Bam strengthened his resolve.

“Let me take the test instead,” he declared to the floating test administrator above him. Making his way to the door, the test administrator blinked and slowly reached out to the handle, blocking Bams' only way of reaching Khun. The test administrator tipped their head to the left, as if in question but yet seemingly in utter disinterest. “And what if I won't let you?”

Bam put his hand over theirs, finger after finger laying completely flat and applied the slightest bit of shinsu pressure.

A single line and then, the entire wall behind him cracked open.

“I'll reduce this entire damn floor to dust,” he whispered darkly.

Their palm shuddered.

As Bam made his way to their lightbearer, Hatz could only watch in dread, as the irregular was granted entrance and entered in quick strides. The scout was not exactly sure what he had just witnessed but one, he was glad he no longer had to take part in that entire ordeal, and two, he sincerely prayed for their lightbearer.

Seemed like this time Khun Aguero Agnis really needed his luck to come through.

But even that might not save him this time, Hatz bitterly thought to himself. He glanced at the announcement, where his own name stood proudly. You better start praying to whatever god you believe in.

Announcement: Regular Jyu Viole Grace has entered the test room. You have 48 hours to complete the 84th floor test.

*

Khun was not doing alright, in fact, he was doing horribly.

Not only had he chosen Hatz, Hatz, of all people to be the one to take the test with him - no, the test administrator seemed to have one more trick up their sleeves.

Sweating, Khun cursed himself for the firefish swimming inside his veins at this very moment; it only made the heat creeping up his spine the more unbearable. He found his hands to be shaking rapidly and legs like jelly, sweat starting to shine through his dress shirt and making him feel sticky and overall disgusting.

Khun absolutely despised the heat, preferred to be bundled up in warm coats and furs than whatever this was.

Growing up the way he did, warm weather and the concept of summer never really became relevant living in the Khun estate. His father never particularly cared for the weather but made sure to keep it at a degree of no unbearable heat. Cold winter nights were more common than hot mid summer days among Khuns.

Closing his eyes, Khun just wanted this to be over already.

There was no point sulling over his body constitution any more. That was the exact reason he extensively planned for floor tests - if he had a damn clue what his test would entail he would've bought a damn antidote for an aphrodisiac of all things.

As if on cue, his knees suddenly wobbled, legs giving out due to the substance currently cursing his body. He landed face first on the bed, sinking into the soft cushions and duvet laid out for him. Or well, rather laid out for them, if he counted the scout that was supposed to join him at any moment.

Speaking of the devil, where was he? Khun thought to himself, trying to battle the dizzying haze making a quick way to his head. He suddenly found it hard to think straight, not a single thought making it to the forefront of his mind, let alone in this pitiful state.

“Hnngh-!” Letting out a needy groan, Khun turned to his left and clutched his stomach, unable to handle the sting rising in his lower belly. Unfortunately, he also realized that his soft dick was slowly swelling as well, an erection forming rather fast. It was unusual for Khun to feel that sexually affected by anything, even his weak moments regarding a certain irregular being always controlled and monitored closely.

He felt out of loop, remaining restraint slipping away like sand running through his slender fingers - maybe Khun had already lost control the moment he entered the room.

“Fuck.” The lightbearer gripped his aching cock from the outside, slowly massaging the growing bulge from his slacks. Dignity be damned, he thought to himself and slipped his hand into his underwear, gripping the dripping length. He was sure all his dignity had been lost anyway, the moment the others read what was being requested from him - it quite literally couldn't get any worse than this.

“Hah-” Khun wetly gasped, slowly moving his hand up and playing with the red tip, glowing a pearly white from the precum oozing from it. Closing his eyes tightly, the blue haired boy continued to stroke his hard cock to broken, heated thoughts of nothing and everything at the same time.

He wanted more, he wanted it to stop, he needed to be touched, he needed someone to help him, he wanted to be alone, he wanted Bam-

Khun was already close, he realized a beat too late. Squeezing the tip of his dick, he forcefully tried to keep himself from cumming but-

“Ah!” Khun almost sobbed at the sheer frustration and pain that followed yet still-

He'd rather die than have Hatz find him lying in his own pool of cum.

Legs shaking, the lightbearer tried to find leverage, anything really, to stop the heated daze taking over him any further. Far removed, he could make out sounds, firm steps making their way to the bed, but he couldn't be sure of anything - for the first time in his life Khun couldn't trust his mind to guide him to a safe decision.

His cock twitched in his hand, begging to be further stroked rather than squeezed so tightly. Opening one eye, he glanced down at himself, only to find a wet patch in the front of his slacks, wet tip from his dick peeking out from where he was touching himself.

An image of a certain boy's hand flashed his mind, gripping his cock instead.

Shit.

Khuns breathing halted, his eyes squeezing tightly and mind completely blacking out as he couldn't stop himself from harshly stroking his length until he was cumming all over his clothed stomach, dress shirt painted in a dirty white. “Bam-!” Khun wasn't to restrain it, moaning out Bams name hoarsely. Images ran wild in his head, various scenarios of his best friend helping him ride out the high of his orgasm, returning the eagerness to please the other just as much as he wished to please him.

He so desperately wished it was the brown haired boy helping him reach his climax instead. Khun blinked away the burning tears threatening to escape his eyes.

He just wished Bam was here.

“Khun,” a voice rasped quietly, somewhere next to Khuns left ear.

Huh?

Even though his mind was still running wild, he recognized that voice; that tone, the only voice he would always come back running to.

Khuns' heart stopped beating for the second time that day.

Wasn't that-?

Somehow, he glanced briefly at his surroundings, and saw chestnut brown.

Bam.

That was Bam, that was Bam's voice speaking to him.

Was his mind playing tricks on him now? It couldn't be, there was no way he was in the room with him.

Dazedly, Khun opened both of his eyes to confirm his worst suspicion and-

There he was: Bam, his Bam, standing in front of the bed -where Khun just finished jerking off to him - flushed in his face, hand hovering over his crotch as if to reach out and-

Hold on, was that an erection?

Restrained, Bam panted out again, golden eyes narrowing down on him. “Khun-” Suddenly, his name held a weight he never realized before. Bam licked his lips, moist tongue peaking out.

Khun was so screwed.

*

When Bam entered the testing room, he found nothing like the images of his expectations were preparing him for.

Devoid of his lightbearer, Bam was instead greeted by white and pristine walls, emitting a soft hue like the shinsu moon shining in a clear night. High ceilings, a long stairway, even a shinsu fabricated window - but no Khun in far sight.

But then- “Fuck.” A hoarse voice somewhere to his right whispered, followed by the sound of sheets rustling and a belt being opened hastily. At the enticing sounds, Bam had to gulp down the sudden excitement and slow down the rush to get there immediately. A tiny hope emerged in his heart.

Was that…Khun?

Slowly, Bam followed the traces of movement and approached the place of sound, making his way past some interesting looking gadgets and the accusing screen spelling the name “Hatz” in front him. At the sight of that, Bams brows furrowed again. When a bedroom came into sight, Bam did not hesitate to walk up to the bed, already anticipating the worst of the worst.

The worst being his lightbearer desperately looking for relief was not exactly what Bam imagined to be his horror scenario, but judging by the way Khun kept stroking his length while moaning out Bam's name, it wasn't his either.

Bam gulped.

Khun looked borderline angelic like that; the way his white dress shirt rode up his stomach, revealing a slight sliver of milky skin, slender hand harshly gripping the dripping cock and god, his mouth -

Shining plump lips, slightly parted to let out harsh pants and quiet moans, that rose in volume with each second passing. The flush spreading from Khuns ears, to the apple of his cheeks, down his nape and neck to the tip of his dick. At this point even the dress tie looked divine.

Khun was just so pretty.

Bam's dick apparently agreed to that statement just as much, as his dick began filling out to what he has been fantasizing about doing to his lightbearer. Hand hovering over his crotch he barely stopped himself from gripping the aching length trapped in his trousers.

Miraculously, Khun didn't seem to notice his staring.

Gathering his resolve, he stepped closer to the lightbearer, each movement allowing him to catch more details of the scene before him. Once he stood directly above him, the full picture of his deepest desires finally cracked his resolve - he let out a strained gasp of Khuns name.

Confused eyes blinked open, slowly regaining awareness of their surroundings. Once they caught sight of Bam, it was as if time suddenly stopped. A crippling tension moved across Khuns body and strained every muscle, not even slightly shifting out of that compromising position.

Bam started to speak, desperately wanting to connect to his lightbearer, but all that's left of his mouth was yet another hushed breath of “Khun-”. He apparently lost all of his ability to function with all the blood in his body rushing to his hard and aching cock.

Bam felt like he was going insane.

Moving swiftly, he put one knee on the bed, slowly, to gauge Khuns reaction.

The lightbearer didn't move.

Daring a next step, he shifted both knees onto his left side and lowered his upper body into the space above Khun.

Khun still didnt move, his eyes anxiously tracing every step Bam was taking.

Bam was thrilled to see how far he was letting him take this.

Lower, he let his chest sink, lower, he allowed his arms to rest at Khuns side, lower, he came closer to his face with every breath he was taking - until there was almost no space left between them.

Khun, caged underneath Bam, simply traced his every move with his assessing eyes.

From this angle he was able to see every little pore on Khun’s face, every detail, microexpression and fleeting emotion passing his beautiful face while gazing upon these eyes. Those blue, azure eyes, resembling gemstones of the highest quality. Refractions of light caught Khun’s eyes from a certain angle, drawing a faint, almost fairy-like glow from his irises.

Silence.

And then- “What are you doing?” Khun breathed, strained voice barely reaching his shaking eyes. Bam didn't know what to say, too enamored with the view below him. There was a pale rosy flush spreading across Khun's cheeks that somehow softened the usual sharp features of Khun’s face. The light from the windows only enhanced the effect, almost making him seem holy in some way.

Bam was staring at him in unabashed awe.

His lightbearer was absolutely divine.

But Khun didn't seem to agree. “Bam, I need you to get off me now,” he breathed in a strained voice, glancing downwards to avoid Bam's intense gaze at all costs. Even though Khun was repressing his breath, Bam could tell; he was panting, needy little gasps leaving his mouth. Through the cloud of desire, Bam could make out the lightbearers shaking legs, a slight twitch of hips moving upwards, chasing the pleasurable touch. A clever tongue licking his bottom lip, just before lightly tugging on it.

There was no way Khun was not aware of how crazy he was making Bam feel, the way he would destroy the entire tower at the threat of somebody seeing Khun like this.

“And then what?-” Tension kept rippling between them, “-what then, Khun?” He breathed in a hush.

Khuns breath hitched.

Light blue eyes searched for an escape, one that Bam wasn't willing to give just yet. He had to nudge his lightbearer a bit more, probe around the careful layers and unveil what he was so desperately hiding. Bam lifted his hand and slowly brushed his right fingers across the soft cheek, featherlight touch caressing the milky skin. Their noses kept touching with every tiny movement. A soft sigh escaped Khuns mouth, eyes glazing over with a subtle delight, his warm breath mingled with Bams own heavy panting due to their closeness. Little sounds of pleasure made their way to Bams ears. “Mmm-,” Khun breathed, a needy undercurrent to his voice. His eyes opened again, panicked and startled - he hadnt meant for that to be out loud, judging by the way he tensed up again.

Bam already knew that Khun desired him, but kept denying himself for whatever reason. The fact that his lightbearer still had not seriously moved or attempted to get Bam off him only confirmed his suspicion - Khun didn't know how to let himself fall into this.

The air kept crackling with tension.

Bam allowed himself to try something, voice strained and a little breathless, “You know that I see you, right?”

Startled, and obviously a little out of it, he caught Khun’s interest. His brows furrowed and a little frown emerged. “What are you trying to say?”

Bams eyes softened, a fond smile on his lips emerging. “I can see the effort you put in being my strategist, you know?”

Your incredible hard work and talent. You never stop at a plan that's easy, no, you always aim for the best. It's one of the things that I love about you.

Once getting started, he didn't know how to stop.

“I see the way you look out for the team, the way you still put bananas out for Rak even if he leaves the remains lying around in our bedroom” -The kindness of you.

“I see how you keep making the most effective plans for our team, not because they are the most practical, but because they keep us the safest” -Your worry for us.

“I see the way you always come back to us, no matter who or what threatens you” -Your undying loyalty.

Bam took a deep breath.

“Khun, I can still see the doubt in your eyes, and no, it's not because you don't have faith in us, but because you want us to be able to move up on our own too.”

Your anxiety.

A shaky breath left Khuns mouth. “Bam,” he faintly whispered. Lifting a hand to his chest, Khun gently nudged his shoulder, “-please, stop already.”

Light draining away, Khun seemed to slip from his grasp once again - eyes conflicted and dulled. Bam didn't know what it was exactly that tipped Khun off, but he couldn't stop now, he had to catch him before he lost him for good.

Bam firmly grabbed the hand that was still softly resting on his shoulder, squeezing the fingers and wrist tightly, before slowly lifting it to his mouth. Gently resting the knuckles against his lips, he spoke with a hushed voice. “You know, I also see the way you are trying to run away from me, right?”

Surprise flashed across Khuns features. With every word, a hot breath passed Khuns hand,

“You are trying so hard to hide from me, but I can see the way you look at me right now.”

Bam was surprised by the roughness of his own voice. “The way your breath keeps hitching, the small sounds you make" Khuns breathing kept getting heavier with every passing second, panting into the heady space above him, “- it's all here, speaking for you.” Lips tracing each individual knuckle, a chuckle escaped Bam. “It's all in your eyes, you know?” he whispered. “They are like a mirror to your honest feelings and thoughts. Please, Khun, tell me, what are you thinking about?”

Pleading with the lightbearer, Bam could only hope his sincerity was coming across the way he intended to. It wasn't that he wanted to appear desperate, but Khun wasn't making this easy per default. Eyes wide, the blue-haired boy seemed taken aback, contemplating Bam's words. At the surface, not much of a change was apparent in his demeanor but at a closer look, Bam was able to make out tiny hints of Khuns resolve being shaken.

A tiny twitch of his lips.

Icy blush spreading all over his body.

Desire flashing across his eyes for a single moment, then suddenly vanishing.

Just what are you thinking? Bam wondered quietly.

Khun has never been an easy person to read but at this moment, he felt as if a wall had been built to keep them apart at any cost.

He knew Khuns were famed across the tower for their remarkable ability to keep their secrets guarded and true intentions perfectly hidden. In the past it has always been this way as well. Mission after mission, plans executed without his knowledge, deals and blackmail in Khuns daily routine. Things that Bam was never made familiar with unless there was literally no other way out of whatever mess they found themselves in.

Did Khun not confide in him? Was he the reason Khun couldn't open up?

Bam seriously started losing confidence in his abilities. Doubt in himself manifested in the form of a deep frown, a shaking sigh almost escaping his mouth.

Lowering the hand, Bam's eyes gazed over to Khuns. The lightbearer still desperately avoided his advances, face turned to the left side of the pillow. Khun seemed deeply unhappy, his entire body tensing up further. With that, Bam's entire ambitions crumbled down, leaving with nothing. Suddenly, he felt like crying.

This is the last thing I wanted when I stepped into this room.

In shame, Bam lowered his head and sat up, putting some distance between the two. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, eyes burning with unshed tears.

See? The ugly voice in his head appeared again, taunting the irregular with its remarks.

Once you treasure something, you just can't help but push it until it breaks.

Bams heart dropped.

No. That wasn't what he wanted.

Monster, it giggled in delight.

No.

That wasn't what he intended with Khun.

Are you sure? The voice morphed into a higher pitch, tone suddenly resembling that of that one woman. In the end, you only drive the people you love away.

Rachel's voice was devoid of any emotion, a shrill laughter ending the exchange in his mind.

Bam was not sure in what way he would find himself agreeing to Rachel. He may really be the monster everyone was proclaiming him to be. He shuddered, a wave of disgust washing over him. In his mind, he knew he should not let Rachel affect him in any shape or form, but in his heart? A sense of bitterness still arose at the mention of her name, and he couldn't help it, considering just what she did to Khun, to Hwaryun, to Endorsi, to his closest allies and also, Bam bitterly thought, also to himself.

He didn't want her to be right about him.

Bam quickly wiped the tear escaping his left eye, and wanted to at least set his intentions with Khun straight. “I never wanted to hurt you, Khun.”

At the sound of Bam's voice, Khun turned his head and witnessed an ugly sight.

Bam kneeling on top of him, expression fallen and guilt written all over his body.

Why do you look so sad?

Khun wanted to reach out, touch and comfort him, make sure he was alright-

But he couldn't. Because he was the reason Bam was miserable in the first place.

I only wanted to protect you from giving yourself to me.

Khun bitterly swallowed the self-hatred, not wanting to either give into the desire or guilt. After all, Khun didn't want this to end like with his sister. Or the first boy that had ever embraced him.

Unwillingly, Khun imagined Bam, lying underneath him, in his own pool of blood. Choking on it. Eyes drained out of light, left in a dull yellow. Dead, by Khuns own hand.

Even though Bam was very much alive and well, above him and a steady presence, Khun couldn't afford the risk, didn't want to have to hurt Bam.

After all, what would giving into this desire possibly achieve?

Khun knew; his body was just a tool.

Even though he had never felt reactions as strong as this, Khun tried to remind himself that he was under the effects of drugs, couldn't possibly hope that this feeling of pleasure came with allowing someone else in. This couldn't be natural.

It was just the drugs.

Taking a deep breath, Khun hoped to clear his mind a little. At the slight touch of Bam's thigh against his soaked crotch, a breathy gasp left his mouth - another burst of heat shot down his spine, igniting a fire in his belly. “Hngh-” Khun whimpered in shame, the aphrodisiac still obviously affecting him.

The little sound he made seemed to garner Bams attention.

“Khun? Are you alright?” he softly spoke, imminent worry apparent. His right hand seemed to want to reach out to him, meaning for a gesture for comfort - but Khun shot it down.

You'd only regret it.

At the speed of light, Khun covered his flushed face, much too ashamed to face his best friend.

You’d regret me.

Khun tried covering his burning eyes, in fear of Bam catching just the slightest moment of him succumbing to this weakness, this deep and ugly part of himself.

He had not intended for someone to come this close to his past, this tiny ripple that didn't seem so tiny anymore. Accidentally, an entire avalanche was launched and Khun stood by the end of it, threatened to be swept up.

A bitter taste was left in his mouth.

Aguero was the one who dealt with that, not him. Khun wasn't supposed to be so affected by mindless things like this, and yet, he barely could hold himself together. His eyes burned again, tears threatening to escape.

I can't live with myself, knowing I forced you into this.

A tear escaped his eye.

In the end, no matter how hard he tried, Khun couldn't really hold back after all.

First a single sob, followed by a second, and then escalating into a series of hitched sobs and tears freely flowing down his cheeks. The dam had broken, and suddenly, he wasn't Khun anymore; he was Aguero, three years old, and sobbing in his mothers arms, deep at night where no one could hear him. All of the pressure, fear, anxiety and guilt, the guilt that's been eating at Khun for years, all of that was manifested in a single moment of weakness.

Khun was the one ruining their friendship with his ugly desires and now, now Bam would abandon him entirely.

He didn't even need to wait until someone better came along, Khun just really had a knack for destroying the things he treasured with his own, naked hands. If he had better prepared, better hidden his stupid desires, better tried to anticipate the test conditions, maybe then he wouldn't have risked his life long friendship and the person he treasured the most in the tower.

There was no one else to blame but himself.

A hitched sob escaped his throat.

This really was the end, wasn't it?

Over the sound of his incoherent sobbing, Khun barely picked up Bam's low voice. “Why are you crying?” he whispered, something akin to sorrow seeping out. He seemed agonized, worried; eyes held distress like a cup. Even now, Bam still put him above his own pain; even when Khun literally messed up his floor test and their carefully balanced friendship, Bam still prioritized his wellbeing. Helplessly, Khun couldn't help but fall in love a little more with the kind boy before him.

He gritted out, “Because it's me, I am the one that made you do this!”

Bam blinked in confusion, at his outburst. “…what?”

Khun blinked back, not really understanding what was to be misunderstood.

When he didn't respond, Bam huffed out a breath. He seemed to be debating whether to say something, and then just decided to go for it. The irregular sighed, “I literally almost destroyed the entire floor to get here.”

Khun gaped.

“Oh.”

“Khun.”

“Yeah?”

“I want to be here.”

“...You want to be here.”

Bam gazed into Khun's eyes, deeply. He breathed out, “Yeah.”

His heart skipped a beat; but because he was made to not trust so idly, Khun couldn't help but want to confirm, again. “You want…me?”

“I…” Bam slowly repeated the words in his head, and came to the conclusion that Khun had, indeed, just asked him the most ridiculous question ever, ”-want you?”

Bam let out a chuckle of disbelief.

“I want this-” The irregular leaned down again, brushing his lips against his nape and letting them rest there in a soft gesture.

“And this-” Bam moved to kiss his chest, the soft skin complementing the hard and flexing muscles. Moving on, he traced his lips downwards, following the lines of Khuns toned abs.

“And this-” Kiss after kiss was placed upon every single muscle on the lightbearers stomach. Bam made sure he knew his worth and appreciation for the hard work put into maintaining his body. He inhaled deeply and swiftly moved up, halting in front of Khuns heart.

“And of course this-” Bam made sure to take his time with that part, the one he couldn't bear to ever lose again.

Thinking about the time where Khuns heart was once exploded and buried beneath layers of ice - it made his own heart shudder in pain.

Never again, Bam vowed.

Never again will I lose you, now that I've finally caught you.

He moved up again, making eye contact with Khun who looked not only disheveled by the sweet and affectionate touches but also shaken with the emotional vulnerability.

Khun was so beautiful like this. He traced his cheek again and came to level with his face.

“And I especially love this-” Bam murmured, moving to place a soft kiss on Khuns forehead. His brilliant mind, the one that protects him but also cursed him to overthink everything way too deeply, just like their final reconciliation. If Khun thought just a little less and gave in to his emotions, they certainly wouldn't have taken that long to communicate properly - then again, Khun would not be Khun if he didnt think at least 10 steps ahead.

Khun kept his eyes closed. Bam came face to face with him again, hoping, praying to get to see his love.

“Open your eyes, please?”

Khun slowly blinked his eyes open.

Gold met blue and in a breath, it was just meant to be.

Just as slow as Khun had finally found the courage to lock eyes with Bam, the irregular finally and purposefully leaned down, closing the short distance and sealed Khuns lips with his own.

It was everything he wanted, everything he had ever dared to hope for.

Moving against him, Khun deepened the kiss, softly exhaling and slightly brushing his tongue against his. Bam shuddered. The kiss felt so foreign to him, and yet it was like coming home. Like getting to know an old friend again, familiar warmth and exciting heat. Their tongues mingled and he could taste him, sweet and cold, but still so, so warm. Their mouths began to move even more frantically,hands grabbing skin and pulling, movements evident of their heated desire.

Bam forcefully separated himself from Khun, a stubborn string of saliva tying them together.

Fuck. That's hot.

Khun was panting hard, trying to catch his breath but failing spectacularly.

Thank fuck I stopped Hatz from coming here, Bam posessively thought to himself.

“Hatz was really going to come here?” Khun exclaimed with a note of surprise, rosy blush spreading across the apple of his cheeks.

Oh. Bam hadnt meant to say that out loud.

Seemed like the blood that was supposed to flow to his head was occupied elsewhere.

Bam shifted around, a gnawing feeling at the mention of the scout spreading, “It doesn't matter what Hatz was about to do,” he purred.

Rough fingertips went from massing his nape to slowly move downwards, past his collarbones, to his chest and nipples. Bam continued to angle his touches in a way that was firm, yet soft at the same time.

Without speaking a word, he wanted to convey his message - he was the one touching Khun, worshipping his body and fucking him.

He was about to fuck Khun.

Bam gulped, swallowing hard and reveling in the shiver that ran across his body. With every passing minute, Khuns body felt even hotter at each grab and pull. “But-” he whimpered, the firm touch thoroughly overwhelming him.

A rough pair of fingers deliberately moved to trace delicate lines across the lightbearers hardened nipples, lightly tugging at the sensitive buds, effectively shutting him up. Khun felt a smirk forming against his nape, brown hair moving upwards and a nose tickling the back of his ears.

A sudden grab of his hips caused the lightbearer to look up and he was met with dark eyes leaking of molten gold.

“Fuck Hatz,” Bam murmured against Khun’s ear while maintaining direct eye contact.

Khun stared at the irregular like he was a foreign being. Who are you and what have you done to my Bam? he thought to himself, not believing this was the innocent boy he essentially grew up with. Nonetheless, his dick twitched at the mere thought of these divine lips grazing his hard and dripping length, swallowing whatever he would give him.

With every tug on his nipple, heat shot down Khuns spine and up to his head. The lingering heat from the aphrodisiac did not exactly contribute to him feeling more clear-headed in any case. Bam whispered, voice low and husky, “Do you want me to fuck you, Khun?”

Slowly, as if in a trance, Khun nodded, eyes heatedly gazing up at the irregular.

Mouth breaking out in a grin, Bam grabbed Khuns hips and firmly massaged the soft skin, before tugging him further against his own crotch, reveling in Khun’s little whines as he did. Khun gasped, hitching his legs higher around Bam’s waist. Bam slid his exploring hand lower, from Khun’s ass to the back of his thigh. He used the new leverage to keep Khun’s hips flush against his own.

“Bam, fuck!” Khun gasped, breath hitching.

For a moment, he stopped grinding against the other, just feeling Khun’s dick desperately twitching against his stomach. Khun let out a keening whine, still continuing to rub himself against Bam, wildly trashing his hands around in search of something to hold on.

“Bam,” Khun whimpered. “Im gonna-”

Cum.

Khun was going to cum.

Because of him.

Bam was sure no other moment in his life could top the exhilaration he felt from watching his love reach ultimate pleasure, his entirety succumbing to the on mass of pleasure. The irregular watched his climax steadily arrive, the pressure of Khun’s orgasm cloud his gaze, every one of Khun’s muscles tighten at once.

“You are doing so well,” Bam praised while licking the outer shell of his ear. Khun felt like his soul was ascending to heaven at this moment.

“Oh my god, Bam!” Khun came with a broken cry, strands of cum splattering against his stomach, his hips twitching helplessly against Bam as he fell apart. The sight pushed Bam over the edge and forced his own orgasm as well. Bam came in his jeans, clutching Khun’s hip with his other hand and groaning into his neck. Khun was panting now, flushed so pink that the streaks of cum caught the light, looking like thin, white ribbons along his chest.

Khun was heaving, pleasure induced haze spreading to his face and limbs. Relaxation was apparent in his demeanor, soft muscles expanding and losing themselves to the onslaught of pleasure.
But Bam was not about to have that.

“Did you really think I was done with you already?” he rasped, frustration apparent in his tone. He swiftly granned Khuns asscheeks, squeezing in delight, and roughly turning the boy on his stomach, exposing the soft and supple flesh to him fully.

How he didn't have this before, Bam couldn't fathom for himself.

Khuns eyes remained closed, still trying to catch his breath.

But Bam couldn't wait any longer.

This was his love, his best friend, his lightbearer and most loyal companion.

This was his Khun.

And so, sex with Khun was like everything and nothing he had ever imagined before.

Their movements followed an instinct, as if a forgotten part of themselves found their way to one another. It was overwhelming and uncoordinated; yet it’s as if they’ve been doing this for eternity. Even though they had never even touched each other's bodies before, Bam was sure that this was something written in the stars, something meant to happen by the gods.

Unlike their messy tumbling before, the moment their bodies connected, it’s like they knocked down every possible miscommunication. They were made for one another and both of them know exactly what to do and where to touch, not just like in Bam's dreams before. Khun’s head fell back against Bam’s shoulder, breath hitching and broken. Strands of his blue hair were stuck to his wet lips.

He looked absolutely ravishing.

“You’re so fucking hot, Khun,” Bam gasped.

Thrusting once, Bam pushed in all the way again, watching his dick get engulfed by Khuns wet hole. It was so hot watching their bodies connect, squelching sounds echoing through the room.

He couldn’t help kissing Khuns delectable mouth again, pushing his tongue roughly through the lightbearers parted lips. He swallowed Khun’s little moans, tangling his tongue with Khun’s. Heat was swapped between them again, his cock pulsing and continuing filling Khun with his release.

When he pulled away from the kiss, Bam moved his hand downwards and squeezed Khun’s dick tightly, making Khun cry out. His own dick still trapped in Khuns tight heat, Bam thrusted again and firmly squeezed out the last drops of his release. He reached his orgasm while being one with his love, sharing the ultimate form of love he once only could dream of.

Bam could only thank whatever god was up there for placing him in the same universe as Khun Aguero Agnis.

*

Announcement: Regulars Khun Aguero Agnis and Jyu Viole Grace have successfully moved to the next stage.

Hatz wasn't exactly surprised at the outcome, yet still wondered just how Bam managed to convince their evasive lightbearer of his genuine feelings - Khun tended to run away as soon as the topics of “vulnerability” and “feelings” arose, as it was no secret he preferred hard logic over complicated emotion.

So to have Bam, epitome of “heart before head”, convincing a Khun?

Truly, an unbelievable feat.

Hatz chuckled. It was Bam they were speaking about after all. If one was to do it, it was Bam.

A door opened. Two figures emerged- no, it was one. Carrying the other on their back, so it seemed.

Bam confidently strode across the waiting room, like a leader, his demeanor allowing no questions or uncertainties. Why he was carrying an unconscious and absolutely disheveled Khun, no one dared to ask.

Suddenly, a new announcement was made, indicated by the sound startling all of them from the tension that arose with Bam's arrival.

Regular Endorsi Jahad: In order to pass the 84th floor, you must overcome your fear of vulnerability.

Hatz simply drowned out the high-pitched scream and brewing storm of a princess not wanting to face herself. With questions, he could wait, as well with the anxiety about his own turn coming up.

You have 12 minutes to list 5 things you appreciate about each of your teammates and express your gratitude to them.

Fuck.

He couldn't wait to get off this floor and take a solo-vacation somewhere nice and quiet.

Yet, nice and quiet was not what he would describe Khun Aguero Agnis, nervously tapping his foot against the floor of the hotel and crossing his arms in a defensive pose.

Hatz raised his brow in suspicion.

“What do you want, earrings?” He neither had the time, nor the patience to deal with more Khun-related-problems, much less now that they had finally passed the floor after a long, grueling day of emotional vulnerability. He wanted a nice and quiet solo vacation, not whatever this was.

Khun exhaled, annoyance clear on his face.

“I just wanted to…thank you, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Shut the fuck up!” Khun snapped in response. Flicking his hair, his expression shifted to something more akin to smugness. “Be grateful you even had the chance to get with someone like me.”

Hatz was so ready to just smash the lightbearers' infuriating face to the ground.

But that would probably lead to some grotesque things being done to him by Bam, so no, he simply had to endure another classic Khun attack.

Gripping his forehead in annoyance, he sighed in defeat. “Is that everything or did you actually want something from me?”

A beat of silence passed.

Khun let out an exasperated “Tch!” and turned to leave, light and incredibly soft looking hair gracefully falling to his chin. Hatz was about to return to his own room, when a quiet voice suddenly whispered, “I guess it wouldn't have been the end of the world if you had taken the test with me.”

His heart stopped.

Breathless, Hatz swiftly turned around, a single question burning on his lips, heat rising to his head-

Only to realize that Khun was already gone.

With a higher pulse than before, Hatz returned to his room alone.

*

In their own shared room, Bam and Khun were cuddling on their bed and exchanging slow caresses and soft cuddles. Soft. Warm. Comforting. But then, just when Khun was about to fall asleep, Bam spoke up. “You do know we still have to eventually talk about all of this, right?”

In response, Khun turned to face him, lips curved in a sweet smile. “Talking can wait.“ But the innocent were deceived, as the sly smirk on his face told Bam that Khun had a different idea in mind.

“Besides, I'd much rather you just do me instead.”

And to that, Bam possibly couldn't say no to.