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Chapter Text

Nobody knew the ruler of Inazuma had a son, until that rainy day he dragged a corpse through the front gates, up the steps of the tenshukaku, the still warm blood of human man spilling out onto the wood, flowing like red rivers.
He pounded upon the doors demanding treatment befitting of his birthright.

That corpse was a segment of il Dottore's , last seen seeking approval to recruit a member into Pierrot's command— it seems il Dottore failed.

He threw it on the floors of his mother's palace as proof of his power and the instability of her rule. Demanded to be given the least of what he deserves, tired of being abandoned and ignored and made a fool of , he demanded to be treated with respect. Soon the bloodstained cotton-hemp clothing has been traded for with exquisite silks. Officially recognised by the tenshukaku as their prince in a coming of age ritual headed by the Guuji Yae, the people learnt his name; Kunikuzushi.

The Guuji Yae, announcing that if he so wishes to be treated like a young master, she shall arrange a handsome young lord to marry him, but that young lord crawled out of the tenshukaku with a cut across his face, still bleeding. Then another was turned away, weeping. And another rejected, one after the other. Until,

He declared, the head of a slain suitor in hand, that any man who wishes to even DARE touch him— who wishes for his hand in marriage were to undergo trials, failing will result in death. Perhaps at the moment he said it only to scare suitors.

It did not dissuade as well as he thought it would.

Prince Kunikuzushi is regarded as one of the most beautiful creatures in the world, the kind of beauty men die for. This is taken to the literal sense. As any failed suitor would be put to death by the sword, by his hand. As he said, only someone worthy would be allowed to have him.

This is how this poor unfortunate man got into the situation; believing he can pass the trials the prince lays out for his suitors. He was enough to pass the first two trials; but in a public duel against the prince himself, he lost. His polearm shattered to pieces one could barely sweep off the floor.

The trials are different for each man; the first two seem to be the same thing, a day with the prince. The last one however, seems to change with the man. The one to be executed was an okuzumeshuu, and it seems his third challenge was by battle. There was historically a son of Hyakume's swordsmithing art, who had in his last challenge , presented to him a blade; which the prince used to kill him with. his sister, a swordsman like her brother went on a rampage soon after, which caused the immediate execution of her clan for treason.

But enough of historical research done by the Fatui, there was action that Tartaglia would be able to watch for once ! He was getting bored in his quiet Fatui diplomat station. They told him to behave. La Signora took care of much of the work, but that's not to say he didn't do his fair share. It simply would be a sight to behold if the prince truly was as beautiful and ruthless as they say. Challenges are exciting and terrifying foes are exhilarating. So he went to watch.

The failed suitor kneels, hair shaved short for the imminent beheading.
And out of the tenshukaku, the prince Kunikuzushi, wearing a silk veiled hat of black lacquer and gold paint. The wind blows the veil slightly open and he wholly takes his hat off, his sword held by a maid.
Violet hair neatly cut short, deep indigo eyes, fair skin perfect and unblemished, as if he's never seen any battles or conflict.
Tartaglia is so glad he wore the glasses la Signora urged him to put on, he could see him from so far away.

" By decree of his highness Kunikuzushi, any man who wishes for his highness' hand in marriage, must undergo his chosen trials!" An okuzumeshuu with a particularly loud voice announces for formality's sake, " and should he fail any of these trials, it shall be treated as treason and as such he will be put to death! "

He looks like his mother, an undeniable beauty of divinity. but he has an elegance and life and emotion to him that she doesn't have, a charm that sets them apart, the way he carries himself with cold arrogance and bravado befitting of a godling

" Last words? " he asks, voice painfully cold towards the man , who shakes his head and bows, knowing full well what he got into.
He takes his sword from the maid, holding it well and proper. Slowly, as if relishing in the moment, he lifts his sword

Sadistic and beautiful. Tartaglia watches as his blade cuts through a man's neck, bone sliced clean, the deep red spilling upon the floors
He can hear the soft crying of the man's family, to the side , ready to collect his remains
He can see the apathetic gaze of the lady shogun, the sadistic glee shining on the eyes of her son, her beautiful son.

Red splashes onto the perfect pale porcelain of his hands and face , the deep violet of his clothes splattered with the vibrant blood.
The body falls with a thud, then the head, spilling and staining the floors.
He stands in triumph, beautiful.

" Pathetic, he thought he could conquer me. " he whispers. Returning his sword to the maid, he then addresses the crowd " anyone who dares fight for my hand, knows well the consequences!"
He turns and the edges of his clothes stain red from the spilled blood.

Tartaglia feels his heart beat quick, his face flushed, something in him is absolutely overcome, as if nothing in this world mattered more than his wish to take him.
He's ruthless and beautiful,
A monster of divinity.
He's in love.
With the challenge of winning his hand? With the prince himself? He knows not. Perhaps it's simply the hunger from the abyss, his insatiable desire for conquest.

He steps forward, la Signora's pale arm and glare stop him " are you a fucking insane? He's had enough of local madmen, let alone foreign fools."
Undissuaded he presses on

All eyes on him, as he steps out of the crowd, past the suitor's still bleeding corpse , up the stairs and onto the platform, chasing after the divine beauty, footprints stained red
Guards quickly turn their spears towards him

" Marry me " he declares, breathless. Kneeling before the prince's turned back, his hand on his chest, the other reaching toward him

" Excuse me " he turns his head to glare, " who dares ? "

" Me. The man who is going to marry you "

His face is an icy cold scowl, but nonetheless, his beauty is something that puts the sky and seas to shame

" I am a new challenger, ready to fight for the hand of one beauty such as you " Tartaglia's experience in theatre is coming in handy, he praises himself for his confidence. " Marry me "

The dark blood from his former suitor has yet to cease forming a puddle, the body is still warm. Yet here this fool stands. The prince looks shocked, disgusted, horrified, until his face morphs into an arrogant smile " Fine! If you're so eager to run into your grave "

So much for his innocent diplomat disguise. la Signora sighs and shakes her head. She paid good money to get him those glasses and custom tailored coat

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" You are in very big trouble Childe. " la Signora practically drags him by the scarf to some private quarters, a fairly good sized apartment being used as some sort of base of operations in the city, with a kitchen, a dining area and a lounge turned into a makeshift office, all in one long room . Pantalone sits at the dining table with some papers, agents on standby, some working, and il Dottore seems to be pouring some cereal into a bowl

" Why are so many harbingers in one nation don't you guys have missions? "

" WHY DID YOU ASK IT TO MARRY YOU " il Dottore practically pounces on him, shaking his shoulders and la Signora lets go to make herself a pot of tea— nevermind she's pouring a glass of wine

" C-comrade calm down first—"

" It killed Upsilon!!! " this version of il Dottore whines " And now you want to marry it?!"

" Now, now dearest, calm down. You know, Tartaglia marrying that prince would be beneficial to Snezhnaya. " Pantalone gets up, walks towards them, heels clacking on the wood

" Yeah! What he said " Tartaglia yells from where he goes to sit

" Of course , the dowry from a ruling goddess would be insane ! It's only fair she pay a dowry " Pantalone shows the papers to Tartaglia; a lot of calculation of fair price on the basis of his value " Think about it, she would pay good money, we'll gain political power from marrying her only heir! And the amount of money we'll profit off him when he's whisked away to Snezhnaya! "

" Pants, he's a prince now. What if he makes US pay a dowry, or bride price. " il Dottor argues

Pantalone's demeanour changes and in a split second his hand reaches for Tartaglia's face— he dodges quickly, his glasses being caught in the banker's hands and crushed between his fingers
" Tartaglia you little brat what the fuck went through your head asking him to marry you! High risk , low reward ! "

" He- i- he w- he w-was hot okay!!! Did you see him kill that guy?!"

Pantalone looks at him incredulously " Whatever death that divine brat gives you, you will deserve. And if she makes us pay an astronomical amount for a bride price, I'll kill you myself "

" Hey now you said it yourself! It would be beneficial , foreign relations and all that"

" Gods know, would he even touch you? You're some backwater village boy, he's a prince. Rich hate peasants. "

" I think it's fine with peasants, that prince of theirs grew up in the furnaces among craftspeople " il Dottore, who has taken to sulking in a chair with cereal, says through mouthfuls of food " cute Kabukimono, charming everyone there— it tried to eat a corpse but oh sure it doesn't know any better-" he stuffs his face with cereal

" He is cute—"

" He’s a monster " il Dottore grumbles

Pantalone turns and addresses an agent " go! Order some glasses. This boy here is nearsighted both physically aND MENTALLY!" He slams Tartaglia's broken glasses to the ground

" Bridal gifts don't matter. Think about surviving his challenges first " la Signora sips her drink " all his suitors have failed the past years. What makes you think you can win? "

" Oh but I do intend to survive "

" How do you intend that? '' Pantalone crosses his arms " Her Majesty called three people to babysit you because believe it or not dear, she doesn't want you dead. WE don't want you dead."

" Sandrone would beg to differ "

" It's simply how she shows affection " la Signora hands Tartaglia her glass and he downs it. The spiced wine warm

" We'll see ! This is just another challenge to overcome, with an even more terrifying and sexy opponent. And as far as i know, none of his countless suitors were there any Fatui harbingers"

Pantalone sighs, putting his palm on his face. Tartaglia is fucked.

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Chapter Text

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" Your Excellency, if I may be so bold, Tartaglia is a diplomat. " Pantalone with his businessman smile, prim and perfect, polite. Standing perfectly still with a few agents " Would it kill you to be a bit lenient on his punishment should he fail the suitor test ? " Childe Tartaglia, that was the bespectacled nerd who proposed to him. He was to have his first out of three trials today. He'd sent out a few men to find some information on him, and all they learnt was that he was a diplomat, one addressed as Lord Harbinger, sent by the Fatui alongside La Signora. Spends free days fishing, exploring the wilderness and was seen recently playing with children in the city.

" That's a bit dishonourable don't you think ? " he looks down on them as he sits on his mother's elevated space " He proposed, and I will accept on the condition that he pass my challenge. Every suitor of mine has gone through this. "

" Yes, but none of your suitors have been a foreign diplomat like Tartaglia. "

" I've had foreign suitors. Why should a Harbinger be any different? "

" If you would please listen, sir. As the Tsaritsa's beloved youngest, I can't imagine what might happen if you lay a finger on hi—"

" Nice try you snake. Listen, this is between me and him" he gets up from where he's seated. And ever so gracefully descends the steps " You're a businessman aren't you? Surely you can grasp the concept of honouring a contract. "

Pantalone remains smiling politely, " What an unfair contract! esteemed prince, in Liyue , young masters do not slay their suitors should they be unsatisfactory. And certainly. No young masters in Liyue would chase certain death for a face no matter how fair "

" Morax actually attended my little coming of age party around a hundred years ago and she understood fair exchange " he steps towards them, beside them " It's actually where I got the idea for all this. Isn't risking your life a fair exchange for a god's only son? Failing means you're simply not worthy to be my husband. And even d a r i n g to attempt to take the archon's son is treason, treason is punished by death simple as that "

" I see I cannot talk you out of this, where is your mother then? " shameless, shrewd, Pantalone. " I'd like to speak with her "

" She's off meditating , she'd rather meditate than do her job after all. "

" I'd say it's good that she has a less violent hobby than slaying suitors "

He scoffs, what a foolish man negotiating down to the minute. A servant quietly shuffles in and whispers in his ear " look at that , Tartaglia has arrived to be slain. Go bring Pantalone upstairs to The Shogun, have someone take Tartaglia to the venue. "

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"
My dear son Ajax,

Lord Harbinger Pulcinella has informed your mother and i that you proposed to a foreign prince out of nowhere and intend to marry him. He asks me and your mama to send you letters to dissuade you from this. Although I'm sure your mind has been made.

But please have pity on me and your mother. Listen, son. Your mother and I have always jokingly asked for when you will marry as a manner of friendly banter. We don't want you to rush into anything you'll regret but I do have to admit it's adorable how you still act like the teenage boy afraid of old Man'ya's daughter courting you. I recall when you were still a shy, easily frightened young lad who could barely get a sentence out, we were so worried that it would be hard for you to find a spouse and so we prayed, but not like this. Ajax, he told us that all of this prince's suitors have died. I don't want you to die.

Ajax, you are my son and I love you no matter what happened and what will happen. Ajax , listen, we were told this prince was a madman who slays any suitor he deems unfit. And while, we do have faith in you, I hope you see that there are people around you who love you and do not wish for you to die. I don't want to lose my son.
But if you do go through with this, which, I know you will— you're my son after all. Ask him for his favourite flavours and send his size, your mother and i will cook a feast when you return home. I do hope you'll have the wedding here in Snezhnaya.

Please survive.

With all the love,
Your Father
"

This old man is too dramatic! Who said he was going to die? There is no way he's going to die.
He clips his mask onto the side of his head, and puts on the diplomat's coat la Signora always asks him to wear.
He folds the letter and places it inside his pillowcasing.

His father saying all this just makes him more determined to win him over. Never has he seen a being so beautiful and ruthless, he just MUST have his hand in marriage.

Well, he'll make this promise to his family; he'll survive.

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The floors sing like nightingales as he walks with a servant to the upper floors to meet with the man he's challenging.

Honestly it's a little nerve wracking, he saw one of the most beautiful beings in Teyvat, a killer at that, and proposed to it. Why can't he just ask him to spar like a normal person?!

The maid leads him through the tenshukaku to an area in the back, overlooking the sea. There is a seating area where an old man is, and behind him are screens

He can see a silhouette behind the screen. Kunikuzushi, who he seeks to marry, is leisurely seated there with what smells like strong herbal tea, seemingly facing away from them and towards the vast waters

A servant of the tenshukaku's inner rooms greets him.
" It's nice to meet you, Childe Tartaglia. I'm his highness' head servant. I am afraid that he will not be speaking to you during this first challenge unless he wishes "

The silhouette sips tea

" Yes, likewise " he sits, " has it started? "

" Yes "

" Oh "

" Listen , sir . This is the last time you can back out. We can be done with this and pretend nothing ever happened. I'm sure you don't want to die Mr Tartaglia, but this mercy is only for the first trial "

" Mercy be damned, I want to marry him " he smiles and cheerfully says , doubling down

" This first trial is . . . " he seems to be hesitating " um . . . all trials are actually different depending on the suitor, but all end with a riddle you must answer, recited by his highness of course. "

" What is this challenge then? "

" Simple conversation, I suppose I can sum it up as such. Of course, Inazuma can't simply marry their prince off so simply "

" Of course "

" You do realise what you're getting into, sir?"

" Yes. "

" You will die if you fail. " he almost seems pleading " do you really want to marry him? You of sound mind and body, wish to take the trial for his hand in marriage. This is your last chance to back out before forfeiting your life should you fail "

" I won't fail "

The servant sighs, tired.
" Might I ask plainly, why did you propose ? "

" Why did I propose ? Well . . . " he takes a deep breath ; when I saw him up there on the platform. It was like . . . Something indescribable overcame me, he was beautiful . It was— "

CRACK
The screen is torn down with a pale hand, crushing lacquer beneath his fingertips
" If beauty is all you're after. You have better luck soliciting my mother " he spoke

" I don't like your mother. "
Tartaglia looks up at the prince who stands on the raised platform behind the screen he just broke
Beautiful. The blacks and reds of his silk clothes deep and vibrant in their colours.
He can hardly see him through his nearsighted eyes , but he stands out against the sky, he's beautiful. The deep indigo of his eyes seem to crackle with divine electro, something about the way he crushes high quality lacquerware, it's incredible. He can't help but feel drawn to it.
Like a moth to a flame as la Signora tells him

" You are a diplomat. " he tilts his head slightly, with a discerning glare " an adult with a good job. Not one I'd expect to have a death wish. What truly drove you to proposing ? "

" I . . . Truly do not know what it is. I want to marry you. I must. "

" I see. It's pride. Conquest. " he turns to his servant " Leave. This is not a common noble you can so easily do a background check on. I will take it from here "

" This is rare, your excellency, are you sure you wish to be left alone? "

" You dare question me ? " he glares

" No, apologies, your highness "

The servant quickly runs off , leaving the two of them alone , or, as alone as they could be while that servant sulks in the room yet listens in and the okuzumeshuu by the door prays he becomes invisible because he's absolutely sure the prince is gonna kill him if he looks in their direction

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Kunikuzushi takes his tea and seats himself across him. Tartaglia is not wearing his glasses anymore, dull dead and deep blue eyes gaze upon him with an emotion he can't place. It's strange. Dark like the sea.
This suspicious diplomat doesn't even use his real name; instead it's the name of a theatre clown character which he can't be mad about because he also took his new name, or rather title, from a theatre character.

Honestly, these clowns have been an utter thorn on his side since that blue haired one with the red eyes kept begging him to join them. Right after his son died too! So, of course, he killed that blue haired bastard. But lo and behold he comes back looking a little older. They've been a trouble to his mother too, but she can't care less, she doesn't even bother leaving the euthymia. The hundred years he's entered the tenshukaku, he's gone and started a ruckus, gained stable position and power, and he still hasn't talked to her. As if she simply refuses to acknowledge anything, not even when those Celestia damned clowns cause trouble.

But this diplomat from their faction is challenging for his hand in marriage ? Surely he must have an ulterior motive. Either that or he's simple minded and merely got his position as diplomat as some form of nepotism or punishment, he isn't so sure.

" Well then Tartaglia, I'll be as plain as your simple human brain can understand. Why are you here ? "

" To marry you "

" No, as diplomat, what got you this job "

" Her Majesty the Tsaritsa posted me here to accompany la Signora, and what Fool would I be to disobey my queen? "

" La Signora seems to be doing well on her own with the banker though, are you their little pet accessory or something? "

He laughs " Yeah ! I guess I am their accessory this time. I don't mind though. I got to see you in action "

" Ugh " he sips his tea " Your head is full of nonsense "

" My head is full of thoughts of you "

" Exactly " he puts his tea down " Any family? "

" Plenty , but none in this nation " a typical answer, giving little to no information

" Then you ought to value your life more, you'll die if you do not pass this marriage challenge "

" I do value my life! I'm going to marry you after all "

" I certainly hope you didn't leave any wife and children to chase a prince "

" I didn't , you're the first person i've ever felt this way towards "

" What , horny? "

" No! It's something greater than that ! " he looks flustered , finally " i- it- i- you " he takes a deep breath " it's . . . you're something incredibly . . . indescribable, it's like . . . Something in me is so drawn, to you. i don't understand it but, but, i want to know you, i want to see you, i want to hold you, i want fight you, i want to—"

" Hold me? fight me? " there it is. Does this diplomat want to kill him? Cause some instability by taking out the heir? His expression and his words don't match. A redfaced and lovelorn look yet, fight him??

" It- i- " he sputters and stutters as if he can't get his words out, finally fitting the name Tartaglia

" You either are a great actor or so simple minded and foolish to fall to your impulse "

" Can't I be both? "

He sees why he's called Childe Tartaglia.
" Lanky, ginger Snezhnayan noble's simple brat. Greedy. You say you don't have a death wish but your actions tell otherwise. "

" I'm neither lanky or a noble's simple brat! I'm toned and i can hunt the biggest fish in the sea for you prince, "

" Fish? Is that the best you can do? I prefer eel. " why is that such a common practice for men to show off their fishing skill? Well this was only meant to be a short interview and meeting to make sure his intention is truly to marry him, so those suitors who were forced by Yae to propose can back out, so those with intention other than marriage can be weeded out, and the real trial is to follow

" I know enough information now. I doubt you'll even answer the riddle "

" What riddle "

He stands , and Tartaglia stands as well— why??

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Ah , he got up, it's the challenge time. Will they fight? He hopes they will. He feels nervous, but he thinks it's the good kind of nervous. If he really wants to marry him, he'll have to do his best

" I'm ready " he tries to pat him on the shoulder, as a sign of camaraderie and friendliness before a spar

" Don't touch me " lightning fast , he blinks and he feels a slap on his cheek, Kunikuzushi is on the railings, staring at Tartaglia, almost catlike in his balance. Fair enough, some people just dislike that he supposes.

" In the gloomy night,
an iridescent phantom flies.
It spreads its wings and rises
over all pathetic human folk.
Everyone invokes it, everyone implores it!
But the phantom disappears at dawn
Only to be reborn in their hearts
Every night it’s born, every day it dies. "

Oh he thoroughly misinterpreted his signals. He didn't think he would recite the riddle already.

" Well? "

" Over all human folk . . . " Tartaglia repeats, what has hold over all human folk, what does everyone have and invokes " Hope, it is hope, prince. Hope which carries me to do what i do, to rise time and time again. Hope which drives me to challenge your trials. "

" Hope , it deludes humans like you. "

He steps down from the bright red railings and onto the hardwood of the terrace, and leans close
Did he pass? Or will he pass
A pause, a glare

" Congratulations , you passed the first trial "

The prince swiftly leaves, motioning the guard at the door to get someone to clean up
No spar then?

But wait.

He ,, he actually passed.
It was that easy?
No spar??

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Pantalone pounces and hugs him " oh you bratty Childe ! I knew you could do it!! "

It seems news spread that this new suitor of the shogun's son has passed the first trial, Tartaglia awkwardly pats him on the back, did this old man forget they were in a makeshift office full of agents?

The banker takes a step back and holds him by the shoulders, looking him in his dead eyes " you. You better make babies with him. It will be a profit to have demigods born in Snezhnaya "

" What "

" Pants, i don't think that's possible, he is not very human " il Dottore of all people is being a voice of reason!

" Even then I won't have kids for the sake of using them as political tools– what's wrong with you? "

" Everything, dear. "
Pantalone then abruptly steps away to sit back at the dining table and begins writing " You see. With this financial plan, as a lord harbinger, if you marry him—"
Tartaglia decides to tune him out

" Do you think when you marry him you could convince him to partake in the experiments I always wanted him to partake in ? I could turn him into a fully fledged god and you'll be his husband THEN YOU CAN HAVE KIDS—" he decides to tune this guy out too

Why are these two here anyway? Don't they have missions? Something better to do than judge him for taking yet another daunting challenge.
Ah right the tsaritsa told them to babysit him
He's not going to die though. Is he ?
He's passed the first test but what of the second and the dreaded third?
What if he pulls a Princess Kaguya and asks for something so utterly impossible he dies in the process of trying ?

" Are you alright? " la Signora grabs his face with one hand, the slap on his cheek is bruising.

" I tried to touch his shoulder, force of habit. I'm rather casual with sparring but he was not. "

The frost on her warm fingertips cool his cheek like an ice pack

" Are you sure you want to marry that thing ? "

" Too late to back down now. "

She tsks at him, and shakes her head " you better get through this quick , and if even he tries to behead you , you can do your abyssal thing and" she gestures vaguely " become uglier "

" Hey! Plenty find my abyssal form quite handsome thank you "

" Two more trials till you marry him. Or you die "

" I'm going to marry him. "

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" Kill him. You have to kill him. "

" What? "

The fox woman stands at the doors of his chambers holding a stack of papers , eyes glowing violet, tails and hair in disarray

" Kill that brat "

" As much as I want to, no amount of your convincing will have me break our contract " he sits at his desk, continuing to write

" You have to kill him. I'm tired of this farce little puppet, your ways of thwarting suitors has been entertaining enough. But this man is a Fatui Harbinger. If he wins he'll take you away to Snezhnaya. Its better to live as a commoner than to be his prize "

" Do you really only see me as a prize? "

" Are you not? " he stops writing

" I've given as much effort to this fucking country as much as you the past hundred years because that woman refuses to even grace us with a SECOND of her time. And all i am is a prize? Fine. So be it. "

" That woman. You speak of is your mother, your archon. She—"

" She cares about her damned eternity more than her people. " he raises his voice , but calms and puts on a facade " more than us. "

" But you know I'm smart enough to govern . I care after all " the faux innocence in the tilt of his head , hand on his chest and look on his face

" You do, enough to have kept a human lover. "

This sly fox. He scoffs,

" He's dead. And I'm not merely a prize to be given away. I'll kill him when he fails. "

" Why not now? "

" Because I promised to give up my power if I unjustly kill a suitor. It was the only way you'd let me have my three trials without me instantly killing young noblemen you send to marry me "

" And? That man, charming as he is, he's dangerous. He'll steal your mother's gnosis "

" Even if he'll pass the second trial, he's going to fail the third trial anyway. I can already see him asking me to fight, he can't win against me in battle. "

" How sure are you he'll choose that as a means to impress you "

" Pretty sure, he says wants to fight me. Only a matter of time. And anyway , no one knows the answer to the third riddle " smug, he points the pen to her

" Of course, cause you rigged it " she steps closer , dumping some papers on his desk

He pushes the papers off the table

" There really is no winning with you, is there. "

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Chapter Text

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The challenges that Kunikuzushi gave his suitors were weekly, Guuji Yae insisted so. After all she was the one who first introduced the idea that their shogun's son was of marriageable material.

However this arrangement makes Tartaglia extremely bored, antsy, he has work to do, but between la Signora and Pantalone, he did them as fast as he can so he can get the hell out of the Fatui office-embassy-whatever la Signora calls it.

Sitting atop the roof with a stray cat, he reads his letters, of course beginning with the ones written by his parents and his sisters that arrived today,
Tonia's letter however,
"--- PS : As I write this, Lord Harbinger Pulcinella came by absolutely livid ! What did you do this time brother? He took our mom and dad aside to talk about you, our eldest sister says you're alright while laughing her head off, so I guess it's okay. Bring home some sweets ! And Inazuman shrimp chips "

Oh yeah, the very bright red letter marked in large bold letters URGENTLY READ that Pulcinella sent him a few days back. He hasn't read it. But now might be as good a time as any.

He opens the neatly written letter, bringing it up close to his face, as usual the perfect handwriting is easy enough to read even without glasses

Ah, the 5th harbinger is a little angry. Something something about throwing his life away for a good lay, something something about thinking things through. Look, he's spent a year and a half of his precious adolescence under Pulcinella's command and did his best to be a good soldier. As a harbinger, he's gone along with their schemes and played a fool, shouldn't he give him at least this ?

He's never asked for much . . .

He spots la Signora and Pantalone walking to the direction of the Tenshukaku
" Hey wait you're leaving me behind! "

" Childe, we don't need a third person in this meeting with the shogun "

" But it's still the job I was posted for isn't it? "

" Go home "

" No "

.

.

.

He steps quietly up the bright indigo roofs of the Tenshukaku's east wing, careful not to alert anyone, he opens the window and hops in

" It seems you are eager for an early grave, suitor"
Kunikuzushi stands in the middle of the dark room, a sword in hand. behind him are shelves upon shelves of desk lamp sized automata, ready to shoot with a bow and arrow, sizzling with electro energy

" Hello there " Tartaglia stands straight up waving a hand in an all too casual greeting

" Your face has healed quickly "

" Oh yeah, it's one of the perks of being young and healthy. Aren't you? " a bit of a lie a bit of a truth

" Our next meeting is still two days from now. "

" Yeah ? " he smiles ,

" So many men have come to me—"

" I'm sure of it "

" — thinking they can conquer. You are no different from the other poor fools I've beheaded"

" Either wed me or behead me "

" I am hoping for the latter. "

" I will enjoy it regardless, prince Kunikukitty— Kunikuzushi, sorry. Why is your name so complicated "

" It's not a name. It's a title; " he glares , " before I have you shot by my automata, tell me, why are you sneaking into my rooms "

" I've grown too stir crazy in Ritou, and diplomatic meetings are boring. Pantalone and La Signora have it covered so they told me to sit and wait outside. But I don't want to. So here I am exploring "

" That is the most ridiculous excuse I've ever heard " he points forward, and in a split second , all the automata in the room release their arrows, barely enough time for Tartaglia to raise an electro shield from his delusion, but he managed nonetheless

Kunikuzushi's gaze sharpens " How. "
In the blink of an eye, he appears in front of him,
" You have a hydro vision, those arrows were electro "

" Tsaritsa's tits ! you were really going to kill me ?! "

" You are trespassing " he looks him up and down " how did you do that? You have hydro here clear as day " he pokes his belt with the sword, keeping his distance. That is far too close to his—

" It's a secret I'll tell only if you marry me! " he says, backing away a step

" Brat. What are you hiding? "

" Absolutely nothing— if you become my husband " he raises his hands in a joking faux surrender " Marry me and there shall be no evil Fatui secrets between us! I'll be the best husband ever!"

He seems to think for a second, and then steps towards Tartaglia
" You're bored right? " he pulls him by the scarf, to the direction out the window " let's kill some monsters "

" Hey hey you're choking me! "

.

.

.

He drags him by the scarf through the road, at some point he let go,
" Where are we going anyway? "

No answer, just a mischievous look in his eyes

" Come on I'll die here if you don't tell me "

" Then die on the road. I can feed you to fishes no problem . The earth will eat your flesh and be nourished "

" Do you really feed all your suitors to the earth "

" So far, yes. I have "

" Did they all deserve death ? "

" No, " an honest immediate answer " But I have to survive. " he turns to the taller man " Especially from those with hidden agendas like you "

" I have no hidden agendas! I just want to marry you "
He honestly doesn't know either. He's never felt this way before about a person, to have the hunger for conquest he developed in the abyss become hunger towards a man. Pantalone has desperately been trying to justify and rationalise it as beneficial to the Fatui, and il Dottore has had plans for the godling to be recruited since before he was born. They have hidden agendas. He just wants to marry him.

From what he sees all those men were arrogant in thinking they could take him, that they could conquer him. Thinking they can stop him.
Any sane and normal being would be able to tell that his challenge for a suitor was to keep the Guuji Yae from marrying him off and out of the Tenshukaku. Every suitor he has had were either they're too prideful or too lustful or had a death wish, and sometimes there's the rare all three.
A good man would be able to tell that he didn't want to marry, respect his decision, leave by the first trial and live a full life. A good man who would be marriageable would be understanding enough to know that he doesn't want any of this marriage business.

But Tartaglia is kind of a bad guy.

He wants to be selfish, at least just this once. To have and to hold, to be wed to him. He doesn't know if it's the side effect of an abyssal hunger within him or if he truly is in love.
But he'll choose to believe it's love

The prince he wants to marry points forward " We're almost there "

.

Of course he took him to some hydro slimes.
Well he's not going to pass up target practice!
Kunikuzushi sits on the sandy beach, dirtying his silks " Wow you suck at this "

" I know " he shoots, misses

" Why don't you use electro then? Come on, electrocharge them"

He shoots , misses

" Unless that shield was just that , then . . . "

Kunikuzushi throws a rock at him and he manages to pull up a hydro shield against it

" Aren't you going to pick a few off too? " he lowers his bow

" I don't know, they're in the water, it's wet. Saltwater tends to ruin silk "

" Then take off your clothes " he says plainly

" The audacity " he throws another rock at him which bounces off a hydro shield

Tartaglia keeps missing the slimes, and marking them doesn't work, they're hydro slimes! He throws the arrow in frustration, it hits.
He dives into battle with the slimes, using his bow as a fighting stick instead of shooting like a normal person would

" Hm, seems like you're more of a fighter then "

" Impressed? "

" No "

" Why do you have so many automata in your rooms? Surely you're enough security on your own. Are they your babies ? "

" No. " he throws a rock from the shore, which then kills a small slime " They're soulless little things I made to solve something which to me has been a problem for hundreds of years. Someday I'll figure it out."

" There's hundreds of those little babies of yours though, "

" They're not babies. For the record i've only had one son "

" You have a son? "

" Surprised ? "

" Well, yeah, mainly because you're tiny—" a shortsword is thrown at him, narrowly missing his ear and finding itself obliterating a slime " but that's fine. I like kids, I have three younger siblings back home! "

" He's dead. " he walks closer to retrieve his shortsword in the knee deep water

" Oh . . . " he actually looks sad " I'm sorry "

" Don't pity me. He got sick and I couldn't do . . . Whatever. Why am I even telling you this "

" . . . Just with my younger siblings and it's always a panic to buy the best treatment we can when they get sick. I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like "

Kunikuzushi feels disgusted at his own display of emotion. But somehow. Somehow the empathetic clown this man is, it makes him feel a little less like he wants to crawl out of his own skin. Wordlessly, he kills the rest of the slimes Tartaglia has been struggling with

" Hm, quick and ruthless. You're like that with everyone huh "

" There are some bandits further north le— "

" Let's go! " And Tartaglia, joyous, is already rushing in " will they die? "

" Speaking of murder in front of the ruler's son? You know I could arrest you "

" Diplomatic immunity. And you’re encouraging me , so you're my accomplice "

" I suppose I am "

.

Tartaglia stands amongst bodies of bandits, Kunikuzushi sits on a crate, crossing one leg over the other, he squeezes the seawater from his silks. He watched him take down four men twice his size. Tartaglia hardly even got to fight them.

" You fight good "

" The way you fight leaves something to be desired "

" Me, am I desired ? " Tartaglia does a little flourish and a pose like the clown he is

" No " still squeezing the water out " You don't know how to use a bow. You're seriously using it as a fighting stick " he looks upwards at him " and what bewilders me is that you fight so gracefully yet you use your weapon in such wrong ways "

" No wrong ways to use a tool if it works ! "

" What is wrong with you "

SPLASH!

Tartaglia just doused him in hydro. Right after he was finished squeezing out the seawater from his clothes. The audacity.

" This is the only way you'll ever get me wet. " he stands atop the crate, honestly it reminds Tartaglia of a very angry wet cat

" Never say never " he winks, holding his hand out for him to step back on the ground

Kunikuzushi takes it and in a split second Tartaglia's electrocharged and the prince laughs,

He pouts " Hey! I was being nice! "

He's laughing at him, in the warm glow of the sun, he looks so beautiful.
He is in love all over again
At least he thinks its love
He has to have him .

" Marry me "

" Try your best to win me over then, I'm going back "
He sticks his tongue out in mockery and hops onto the sand, graceful as ever
And in a split second with the sound of thunderclap, he's gone

Chapter Text

Tartaglia has sand in his shoes. He ran to the beach right away for the second of his suitor trials. After a nice hearty breakfast and plenty of water, of course. He's full of energy, not forgetting to wear that godforsaken coat that makes him look like every other Snezhnayan man

The Guuji Yae sits at a table in a tent with some books and papers. She looks bored.
Two employed okuzumeshuu stand by with their spears. He approaches and stands by them
This venue he’s been invited to is a beach near the Tenshukaku, tents are set up facing a cliff , is the prince gonna make him swim he wonders,

The strange crack in the cliff face glows, and out steps Kunikuzushi. Still beautiful as ever, in simpler clothing, yet still silk and exquisite
" You're here early, eager to die ? "

" Of course, I'd like to wed you as soon as possible "

He scoffs , shakes his head
" Get on with it! " Yae sighs " The sooner you die the better. Some of us have work to do "
She doesn't seem very happy with either of them, ears twitching slightly.

" Are you ready? "

" Always "

" The domain challenge is as follows ;
Entering the domain will lead you into a random room in a pavilion, expanded into a multi floor maze in which you will need to find the exit, all whilst escorting me. There will be monsters, traps and surprises within. " the prince explains,
"To add to the challenge, I will not move unless you drag me or carry me. Unless lethal I won't do anything against the monsters either. I will help you with solving this domain only once. You are free to do what you will so long as you complete the objective of leaving this domain with me within the limits of three days. You may forfeit and die. "

" Can I clear the domain? "

" If you'd like to. "

" I'm going to clear it! "

" On your life? "

" I will clear this domain completely, on my life. "

" The average time to finish clearing this domain is between days to weeks. You can give up and die an honourable death "

" I'll do it in three! "

The prince holds his hand out
" Come on "

Tartaglia takes it, without a hint of hesitation, Kunikuzushi's hand is soft and cold, no sign of roughness expected of a warrior, none of the ruthless nature he executes his suitors with, but all of the strength. A very strong pull towards the domain, the prince enters first and he gets yanked with a force that almost gives him an intense whiplash
How exhilarating

.

.

.

The scent of maple and blood hang in the air, he's modelled this labyrinth after the Shakkei Pavilion and he's rather proud of what he's done. It's not hard if you have a brain, and rather easy to avoid the monsters too. For this bastard? He's raised the difficulty.

" To repeat, I'll allow you to touch me, but only within the domain. I will not move unless you drag me or carry me, and unless lethal I won't make any move against the monsters either. I will help you with solving this domain only once. It's your choice however you want to solve this. Be it stealthily as possible or doing it the hard way and fighti—"

And he's gone to fight the monsters.

Blood is spilt onto the floors and splattered on him he sighs and sits on a crate and opens a book, this is going to be boring.

.

The gods have smiled upon him , the second trial is solving a labyrinthine domain— fighting, his specialty. From his understanding, this is basically a more difficult version of that protect the leyline monolith commission from the adventurer's guild, except the leyline monolith is a brat who sits and taunts.

It's warm in here. He takes the outermost layer of his clothes off, his grey and red uniform underneath the now blood soaked coat.

The room is cleared, he opens the door to the next and pulls the prince behind him,
There, beside two karesansui with maple tree centric decorations, stands an imposing door with three carved indentations and polished decoration.

" Oh you lucky bastard "

" That must be the exit! " he feels the door " And these three are the keys "

" And you promised to clear the whole domain "

" I guess I'll find them along the way " he keeps his hand on the unmoving door, tapping along the wood " is this you? " he refers to the figure in a veil playing an upright flute

" Yes " he thinks, " No — maybe? " he looks up to examine the door " perhaps it's my mother in her youth. I made this place, yes , but I simply chose doors. "

" Hm. This is the last place to go to then "

For a moment, it's like he contemplates, for a moment it's silent as his hand stays still on the unmoving door.
The serene quiet of the domain is broken when Tartaglia grabs Kunikuzushi's hand and begins running a direction to conquer the domain

.

Fight after fight, time trial after time trial
Tartaglia is revelling in the exhilaration, the thrill of battle
Time passes, he doesn't know how long but he's letting this initial joy and rush carry him quick through rooms' challenges
Before he knew it there in a small shrine
Something bright and purple.

" This must be a key, " he feels it in his hand. The bright violet thing smooth and solid, the shape of a comma, a curved bead of some sort. It has an energy to it.

" What do you think "

" I think this is the way out " he takes the prince's hand and places the small bead. " When we wed, I promise to get you jewels better than these "

He returns the bead " Keep it on your person "

" Hm . . . You said you can only help me once right? "

He nods " Once. "

" Then help me keep track of time, be my clock and answer all the times I ask the time. How long until the three day limit passes ? "

" Sixty nine "

" Nice "

Kunikuzushi nearly smacks him
" Sixty eight hours "

" How can you keep track of the time anyway? "

" Because unlike you. I know how to pay attention to things " an insult to avoid the answer.

.

Tartaglia drops his bow and punches the monster, cracking the mask and spilling the blood, it turns to ash before him. He switches to hydro blades and keeps fighting.

" Why do you even prefer bows ? " the prince sits on a crate in the middle of the room, book he got bored of reading in his hand as he watches this suitor of his fight.

" Because I'm terrible at them. Believe it or not, my glasses were real—I'm near blind. It's going to take time to master them. so technically, it means i prefer practising " He slices through a hillichurl, and then a slime.

" Is that why your mask has no eye holes ? "

" They have eyeholes! Just slim ones . " he gestures vaguely to his face as he fights " They protect my eyes from being fried by the snow. You'll see, when we wed, I'll take you hunting with me. "

" No thanks, I heard that there's a strain of stomach disease that thrives in the cold north "

" That’s only if food isn’t prepared right! And anyway, throwing your question back at you, why do you prefer using swords ? "

" Do you know why I prefer using Isshin blades, Suitor ? " he brings out his sword, the blade that slain countless suitors like him, the one that killed upsilon to prove his worth to his mother.

" I don't know, maybe it's simply a stylistic choice ? You have five of your mama's sword art schools to pick from. A warrior can't be picky but we certainly can have preferences. "

" It's because a man I loved taught me how to use it. And be it her innate skill passed on, i perfected it nonetheless. " he stares at the blade he holds up " He betrayed me, abandoned me and left. But what he taught remains. Hence why I prefer using them. "

" But I also wonder why you don't simply use what elemental power you have to fry people. After all, being the electro god's son I'd expect you to have mastery over it. Doesn't it hurt to keep using something your ex taught? "

" I cannot use electro like She does, but I'm resilient enough to withstand it. He taught me ways of the sword, I am good at it. Simple as that. I have been betrayed, Tartaglia. But that doesn't mean those who passed on are gone. Those who pass on always leave something behind " He dismisses his blade, glances upwards at him from where he sits atop a crate " which is why you must not face death dishonourably if you fail the trials "

" I am a man of my word ! I keep my promises no matter what, " He stabs a monster almost a few inches behind the prince, placing his other hand on his waist. Room challenge completed. " and I promise to marry you "

He scoffs

And Tartaglia promptly carries him like a sack of potatoes, he does not like it.

" I may not pull a sword from between my breasts, but I can do this " he zaps him on the back of the head

" Ow! " he jumps " You're gonna make me drop you! "

" Carry me properly you clown ! "

.

.

.

" Why is the floor electrified ?! " he jumps. The floor crackles, violet between wood . The traps Kunikuzushi set is getting more and more ruthless the longer he stays.

" Why are you stopping? "

Tartaglia carries a small, hydro doused pyro slime , avoiding the electrified parts of the floor

" I'm hungry. I'll die if I don't eat— or rest. "

" Perish then. You're on the time limit. "

An almost cleared room, all that lives is that little pyro slime he stuffs into a portable indoor stove as he begins to cook, pouring water and chopping meat into the pot
Kunikuzushi sits nearby and opens his book.

" Why have food in the breakable boxes then. Maybe you're not as merciless as you show "

" Watch your tongue boy "

The water simmers, he supposes simply roasting the meat would have been better to save time

" I do love what you've done with the place. There's blood everywhere! It's scary " he smiles

" Well . . . Of course, I made it "

" It's a maze , and there's maple trees everywhere so it smells nice. The dividers in the wall have no screens, like prison bars. It lets enemies from other rooms be able to shoot you from all the way across the domain. It's brilliant "

" My mother made the base for this domain, I took her template and added onto it. "

" Why would she make a death maze domain? Is it a sort of execution thing? "

" No, she's more straightforward than that." He looks around " The base i used was a pavillion, it was to be my final resting place "

" Thats fucked up— your mama made a mausoleum for you? "

" In this pavilion, four to five hundred years ago, she put me to sleep, it was going to be for forever. . . Until a man woke me . "

" Sounds like a fairytale "

" I'm telling you now it didn't end like one. That man was murdered by his own master. Things spiralled out of control, such is how humans are. Untrustworthy, worthless. "

" Tell me more about the man who woke you "

“ Why should I ? ”

“ You’re going to kill me anyway– or marry me. ”

" A yoriki. He loved me, and of course, being naive , I let him. He introduced me to the mortal life, and such I experienced mortal trifles. Stupid kinds of mortal trifles. I lived like a human, had a few lovers. Hah! To think i even nearly wed a swordsmithing armoury officer "

" What happened then? "

" Humans were humans. "

" That's too broad a statement. Without your swordsmith you wouldn't be using the blade. Without the yoriki, you would have slept in this tomb for thousands and thousands of years "

" And I would prefer it that way. " he scoffs " You humans with your desire and conquest. You try your fate and fail. No one will ever possess me. No one will ever betray me. "

" I won't fail "

" My challenges are three , you only die once "

" Your challenges are three, but i only live once "

He hands him a bowl of soup, he pushes it back " Even if you poison me, it won't work "

" Hmph, suit yourself " he takes a spoonful of his own cooking " If you marry me, I'll cook you the best of the best authentic Snezhnayan meals. I'm an amazing cook "

" fifty four hours. "

.

.

.

Tartaglia doesn't know how many hours have passed, but the prince Kunikuzuhi does. As if it's something implicit. The domain never changes. Light breeze constantly carrying the scent of blood and maple, the soft light from the misty emptiness outside the windows.

He finishes the puzzle; the small shrine holding the little purple thing is unlocked.
Two out of three.
He pockets the bead and carries the prince like a bride. Honestly carrying him a different way would have been easier.

At some point after the 36th hour, he's stopped talking. Focusing on the task at hand, barely stopping to eat. Double, triple checking every room to be sure there's no route he hasn't gone down, no room he's missed clearing.

Alas the third one seems to be in reach, he skillfully dodges traps, the electrified floors, and arrows from the walls.

And nabs the small violet bead from the shrine

" Hm. Thirty minutes. "

" Fuck "

He grabs him and lifts him in the most convenient way possible; on his shoulder and begins running. Kunikuzushi is not happy being carried this way.

Tartaglia runs as fast as he can, to the door.
The beads, as if magnetic, snaps onto the lacquer and glows. It opens.
A room, maple scented, illuminated by the windows, wooden bars reaching the ceiling , forming an eye that watches. a single table and a damned maguu kenki awaits him

" FUCK "

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.

.

" oh gods " he stumbles out of the domain, Kunikuzushi carried like a bride, out from within a second floor window in the Tenshukaku, so this is the exit. He hasn’t slept in three days, delusions apart from the one he wears is something that can happen. He falls to his knees, and quick as lightning the prince Kunikuzushi gets away to pour himself some tea
Yae Miko is waiting at a table directly in front of them, writing something, paying them no mind, instead working.

" Hm. Three minutes to spare. I suppose you pass the second trial. You managed the task quite well, and you did not touch me inappropriately, nor did you try anything unsavoury. "

" By the Tsaritsa is the bar really that low? "

" You would be surprised " he dusts himself off , and puts on a veiled hat " The suitor who started all this — He tried to force himself on me "

" Ugh don't say any more comrade, it makes my skin crawl " he settles to sit on the floor

" He couldn't do anything anyway, he was just some human and I'm far stronger than any of you mortals. Before he could try anything, I slammed his head into the ground and tore it right off! " he says it with pride, like it were any story " I am a god. "

" Not yet you aren't " Yae remarks , " Not as long as your mother lives " and his mother does live, she stands at the balcony gazing outwards. Blank faced, seemingly without a thought. " Do tell him the riddle and be done with it, i have better things to do than be your witness."

He rolls his eyes, sips his tea and clears his throat. He steps away from the table and looks towards tartaglia sitting on the floor, sword manifesting in his hand, eager to kill. He speaks.
" It flickers like flame, yet is not flame.
At times, it's in a frenzy.
It’s fever, force, passion,
idleness changes it to languor
If one loses heart , or dies, it grows cold
But to dream of conquest, it flames!
Its voice is faint, loud in trepidation
And gleams as beautiful as the setting sun "

" Blood. " he answers quick " Blood flickers to life within me when you look my way, it's voice is the pulse which carries it through my veins. Blood which is so beautifully spilt carries the colours of the setting sky "

" Poetic " without looking up, Yae frowns

" Did I pass? Will I pass?"

" You got it right, " he says , neutral, cold. Something else is on his mind.

" He passed the second trial, Kuni. " Yae , uncharacteristically cold, none of the scheming behind her eyes, leaves immediately, the papers on the table stay drying.

Tartaglia can't help but laugh in relief, by the gods he passed the challenge.

Pantalone rushes in , running in his heeled shoes

Upon seeing the blood soaked tartaglia, he screams

" WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR COAT ?! "

" oh no "

He practically pounces on him, grabbing his arm with one hand and hitting him there on the other " Do. You. Have. Any. Idea. How. Expensive. That. Was. ?! "

" It was heavy! Ow ow ow ! " he pushes him laughing, " Aren't you happy I passed the trial?"

" That was custom tailored you brat! "

" Enough. " Kunikuzushi sits on the table Yae was once writing on, staring at the papers, reading through them as okuzumeshuu pack up the surroundings " I'll send over a servant for the details of the third trial. "

" Esteemed prince, may I ask, what is the third trial?" Pantalone stands straight up, prim proper and polite

" To impress me of course! " he laughs " Use any means you prefer " waving his hand , he walks away " I'll see you soon "

.

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Chapter Text

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.

.

A warrior must always be ready to face any challenge with his blade, but this time his blade is a kitchen knife. No, he isn't stupid enough to fight a god with a mere kitchen knife. His challenge this time, is to cook.

A servant Kunikuzushi sent asked him what he would need to prepare to impress the prince, and he's sure he expects Tartaglia to ask for a battle because the servant he sent is shaking like a leaf, terrified of him. No doubt that brat of a prince talked up his battle prowess.

But he's not dumb. He can't hurt a god enough to impress them, even if he wanted to, and he'd rather spar with him multiple times throughout his life than just spar once and die.
He knows damn well that this prince has a preconceived notion regarding him, and he'd like to prove that wrong. He can be the best husband there ever will be!

So here he is swimming towards a balethunder infested island in hopes to find a leviathan to chop up and cook. He's ordered proper cooking knives and other high quality ingredients to hopefully come in time . Getting one alive would be a problem .

Il Dottore is rowing after him on a boat, clearly not happy with having to babysit him.
" Stupid fucking Kabukimono. Stupid fucking suitors. If only he agreed to join The Fatui a hundred years ago we wouldn't be here in this godsforsaken place— TARTAGLIA"
His annoyed voice echoes above the stormy waters.

" What?? " he climbs onto the small rowboat, " I didn't ask you to follow me all the way here to babysit me "

" It's a direct order from Her Majesty. " he opens up a bag in the boat to have a snack " Tsaritsa's ordered me to babysit you . Even if i'd rather be elsewhere doing something else "

" Why does he want to kill you anyway "

" I tried to recruit him. "

" Yeah but why "

" Did you even read the reading material Pantalone gave you?" The reading material was history about the islands, relevant information and activity of The Fatui in said islands. And most oddly enough, a bunch of speculative papers on Tatarasuna and the memoirs of that mr. Kanenaga

" I did, but that's irrelevant is it not? " he asks, knowing well can get il Dottore to monologue.

" Ugh. Fool.. " he groans, leaning, back on the boat as Tartaglia begins to row " That fucking brat went by Kabukimono a few hundred years ago, I was undercover as an engineer and he was ruining my plans! So I made plans for him. I planned for him to join The Fatui, set up some conflict in the forges of Tatarasuna— killed his boyfriend. And he fucking left! " he throws his hands in the air " he started killing all these damn swordsmen one day and I thought it would be a great time to recruit him, cause there was this Isshin swordmaker who committed treason, sought refuge with us Snezhnaya, Ka—Ka something— whatever his name was. The object of your stupid fucking desires caused quite a stir, so we were able to track him. Obviously, a doll made by divinity would be useful. He's fucking compatible with the gnoses I bet! " il Dottore crosses his arms " but when I asked him to join, he fucking slit my throat on the spot."

" Why "

" Hell if I fucking know. " Tartaglia is right, he's all worked up and angry. He shouldn’t trust whatever he says " Ugh, I had so much plans and experiments to try on him. " he quickly sits up rocking the boat slightly " Hm. . . if you're going to take him, think you can convince him to be an experimental subject "

" I'm going to marry him "

" Yes, you're going to take him to Snezhnaya. So do you think you can make him participate— "

“ If I lose ? ”

“ Just survive and maybe we can kidnap him. ” he says, as if that won’t cause diplomatic problems

" Isn't it unethical of me as a husband to pressure my husband into partaking in experiments "

A scoff, " If you're not going to listen to me why am i even helping you."

" Cause Her Majesty's ordered you to babysit me "

They arrive on an island, the thunder above crackling and rumbling
He's heard of a shrine being here and set that as the meeting point for the delivery
The boat is left with a mirror maiden as the two harbingers walk to the cat shrine, somehow even the gates and the buildings have cat ears.

Thunder above crackles, he wouldn't be surprised if something divine died here

A woman waits with a package, she chews on some wild mint as she sits on the steps of a shrine , upon seeing him, she gets up , two tails swaying behind her

" Are you the one delivering my package? " he trots over to her , hopping on the rocks of the pond,

Il Dottore's high heels betray him, the stiletto sinks into the sand and he falls back on his ass as Tartaglia approaches the woman sitting by Asase Shrine

" You must be the suitor! " she hands him the box " Whatever is in there smells amazing "

" Thanks I know I've always had good taste " he takes the box and opens it, the bait is there, all fishy and fresh

" His highness also put a delivery of this thing "
She hands him an envelope wrapped rather well

He opens it, a rat falls out quickly snatched by a cat from below him.

A slightly bloodstained sheet remains within the envelope

"
I had expected you to challenge me to a battle, I was looking forward to it too. But nonetheless, you'll fail my challenge; my standards are high. Your requested items are to be prepared in time . The bait you requested is in the box that came with this letter. I look forward to seeing your plan to impress me
It was reported you are in the waters near Seirai. don't get lost, suitor.

Your future executioner,
Kunikuzushi

"

" He is so hot "

" Ew " he hears il Dottore , still in the pond in front of the shrine

" Um . . " girl keeps her customer service smile

" Wait, let me send something to his highness Kunikuzushi! " Tartaglia quickly gets some paper to write up something. handing the cat woman a bag of mora and his letter , he waves her goodbye

The black cat at the shrine stays silent looking at him intently, he places a bag mora by the kitty and sits on the steps. Il Dottore having succumbed to the pond floats on the shallow water

" Are you going to get up? Or does grandpa need help. Bones too old? "

" Go die, Tartaglia. "

" No way, I'm marrying that prince if it’s the last thing i'll do "

" It will be "

" Come on! Aren't you my chaperone ? "

" I'm not going to protect you. "

" Whatever. I'm going to catch something fresh and delicious to cook, and maybe we can make do with the leftovers "

" You're feeding me leftovers? Of course you are." He grumbles something he could not care less to listen to, he walks to the edge

" Go grab the boat ! " Tartaglia yells, he runs to the shore, then dives into the water, warmer than the Snezhnayan seas he's used to, breath held he swims down deep, pressure thrumming against his ears.

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" I told you to kill him already. " Yae hisses " he's already used the Tenshukaku's kitchens and submitted a damn paper as if this were some . . . Project proposal! "

" I'm not giving up my power over a pathetic man like that! "

" What annoys me the most is that his project paper is coherent. " she scoffs " Better than some of the submissions from the publishing house "

" I know. I read it. Something about cooking, cleaning and catering. Talents fit for a noble. "

" He's going to pass the last trial at this rate "

" He won't know the answer to the last riddle "

" How sure are you? "

" No one knows the answer. They're all dead. "

" Fine. Know that I will rejoice when he takes you away " she glares " His goal isn't the gnosis. Not now at least. Right now , I can see all he wants is you. The other harbingers are scrambling mad over the fact that this kid proposed to you. "

" When has a suitor gotten that far anyway? Only four or five has ever gotten to the riddle, and they all died; shame "

" Arrogant brat. You've found reason to kill all the other suitors I put forth. Why can't you find a reason for this one? "

" Because the ones you choose are terrible "

" And this one isn't ? "

" He's human, that already makes him terrible"
Kunikuzushi smells fish, rice, spices from behind the doors. Nagaoka waits by, a nervous wreck, allegedly the harbinger brought something alive into the kitchens and that gave him a lot of trouble.

The servants open the door

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Chapter Text

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The servants open the door to the Tenshukaku courtyard, soaking wet, he's shaking, though not from rain and cold. He's . . . Afraid. He's afraid of seeing his mother after all these years. What would She even say? Would She kill him? He almost flinches at the thunderclap from the skies above, it's natural for the season. It's not hers. She has not acknowledged him.

Sword in one hand, he walks slow, dragging the corpse of that blue haired clown behind him, slit throat spilling blood. A gift.

Up the steps and to her front door, wordless. The gates let him in when he knocked; these okuzumeshuu point their spears,
" State your business "

" Open the door. "

" Who are you "

" I have come to see my mother. And I bring to Her a gift. " he throws the foreign corpse at their feet, wet with rain and blood.

" Your mother. . . ? "

" You don't see the family resemblance? " thunder churns in the sky above as it pours heavy on the roofs " Open the door. I must speak to her "

The silenced shock on their faces. The pretty face she gave him does have its uses after all.

" i sAID. OPEN. THE. DOOR. "
reluctantly, they do, hands shaking. Electro energy permeating the air, like lightning about to strike. Their hair stands on end.

He entres the Tenshukaku, carrying that energy with him. It's exhausting to keep up, but he cares not. Blood and rainwater soak the floors, a maid screams , a vase breaks

" My Lady! " she mistakes him for her. The maid feels the energy in the air, she begins to tremble in fear . He turns to the servant, electro spilling as if ready to strike. But he cannot strike like her.

" Where is She "

Her hands shivering, points him to a hall. " E-end, the big door with images of beauties playing the flute. "

The wooden floors sing like nightingales, servants watch from afar till he presses his hand on the varnished wood. It's him, it must be. Veiled and playing a flute.
He pushes and the doors open with barely any resistance

The Shogun, his mother, stays there doing paperwork, as if he weren't there. The doors close behind him. Her eyes are like his, catching the light in the same way. her long braided hair behind her on the floor, she does not acknowledge him entering the office. Something is wrong.

" M . . . Mother ? "

Something is very wrong.

" Mother? "

" No " a flash, a harsh sound, the fox woman stands beside him

" Is it not Her ? "

" It's a doll, a puppet like you. Her vessel. She made it so She can pursue the eternity She desires"

" Where is She "

" Within. i haven't spoken to Her in hundreds of years by now " bitterness, Guuji Yae all but hisses it out, her ears twitching. " It only cares if it notices you're against eternity she pursues "

" The Gnosis? "

" Not in there. " she looks downwards at him " The guards told me a blood soaked child wanted to speak to her. Here you are, speak all you want "

" I'm not a child. " his voice bitter " I wanted to be treated as my birthright demands. " he turns to her, trying his best not to let his voice crack " I wanted to be her son "

" And you are. Unfortunately, nothing is going to change that. " she crosses her arms and looks at The Shogun, a pause " I've told the workers of the inner rooms that it's true you're her only heir. The east wing is yours. " Yae leaves him with his fellow doll, the latter not even looking up and acknowledging him

Light blue hair turning fluffy and curled in the warmth of the inner rooms. This corpse, cold on the floor seems to mock him. Bright red eyes unfocused, unchanging, unalive.
He kicks it away in frustration.

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Kunikuzushi sits behind a screen. The Guuji Yae overseeing this young lord, a warrior of marriageable age. Perhaps he's grown complacent all these decades with all these suitors. He idly drafts up a bill he would slip amongst his mother's papers to be approved and passed. Sometimes he hates how his handwriting is exactly like hers.

This gentleman with a flushed face finishes 'his' poem. Kunikuzushi begins to laugh cold and triumphant. It sends a chill down the suitor’s spine.

" You plagiarised that poem from a woman describing herself. If I were not to give you the honour of dying by my hand, you ought to die by your own " he hisses out " The audacity! Did you think I was uncultured ? " he throws the ink slab at his suitor. ink stains the silk cloth as it flies hard into the small gap and hits the pathetic man on his head " I ought to kill you now, without ceremony " killing over things like poetry, perhaps he was more like Makoto.

" Wh—"

A shortsword whizzes into the man's throat. The force of the throw cutting through the screen and into the weak flesh all too human. He dies without much trouble. Blood soaking into the floors

Lacquer screen clatters to the floor, he groans in annoyance knowing it's Yae about to scold him for killing another man and moves to place down his writing brush, but before he could he's slammed into the wall with enough force to surprise him, as if instinct he stabs the brush into the forearm that pins him up

Yet unmoving, she clutches his throat. Sharp claws constricting airways unbreathing. He glares, as if unaffected. Feet slightly off the ground. Her intent is lethal. Not even a care that her beautiful arm got tainted by the splintering back end of a brush

" You do not get to senselessly kill my men " she is shaken, enraged. Ears twitching, the tail she normally hides now on full display. Perhaps it's the pain from the brush he stabbed, nonetheless she's pissed.

" Then stop sending them. Especially worthless ones. "

" I should have disposed of you when I had the chance. " she snarls " I should have killed you when she wasn't watching " her grip tightens on his throat

" S-so she is w-watching . "

Yae releases him, he clings onto the wall so not to fall on his knees.

" Is that why you haven't killed me? " he smiles, cold arrogant bravado of a godling, as if his hands weren’t trembling

" Foolish child. I can kill you anytime I wish. " she lies. Pulling the brush from out her forearm

" Fine then. Let's make a deal. If you find any man worthy enough to pass the trials then I'll marry him. If I kill any suitor without good reason, I may as well give up this life of being treated like her heir. "

“ How merciful ” bitter sarcasm as her red blood drips onto the floor

“ More merciful than Her ”
He would never give up the power he has.

Any man, no matter who, is not worth giving up the life he has, worshipped like a god. Though inexorably tied to Her, he wouldn't trade it for anything. To be recognised and loved, to be worshipped and praised. They've made statuettes of him ! Just like his mother ! How could he ever go back to being powerless and nothing. Empty and seeking vengeance. He has soldiers under his command now. He had policies passed affecting the politics of Inazuma.

He could never give up the power he has.

.

Kunikuzushi walks down the hallway to entre the room. He resolves to enjoy himself watching this clown struggle and scramble to impress and entertain him. The clown title chosen for this fool fits well.

No one would know the answer to the last riddle. No one alive and awake would know the answer.

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Tartaglia dressed well this time around, he actually listened to la Signora's advice
The room is arranged to the prince's tastes, he's asked the maids and the employed servants what their shogun's heir likes and it turns out a few favours and a bag of mora would loosen tongues well enough,

Kunikuzushi liked seafood. Hated anything his mother liked. A rebellious phase they call it, but he's pretty sure someone his age and maturity is far past a simple rebellious phase. This is what's called mommy issues, he thinks.

So he decided to hunt down and wrestle a leviathan from the sea. He brought it back alive and slain it in the kitchens. He hasn't slept since yesterday afternoon when he went to hunt those glorified eels

He walks in with the main dish, making sure everything is in place. The head of the leviathan cooked as a centrepiece. He smells like fish. The room smells like fish. Maybe the cats will try to get in. He places back the feather on the roasted refeathered bird he arranged to be in the mouth of this oversized eel. Tradition and theatrics was something he knew, he can do this.

Something the prince and his mother had in common, according to their maids, was their strange mixture of extravagance and modesty, so he arranged the venue beforehand to be as such. Something simple and elegant.

The plating is perfect. He checks again. Perfect.
Nothing he can fault him for. The appetisers and main course are arranged properly. So are the side dishes and the drinks and everything Tartaglia's sleep deprived brain can think of. It's perfect. He looks again, but there’s no time to change anything.

Alas the servants open the doors, and the beauty he seeks to marry enters the room and swiftly seats without ceremony

" Entertain me, clown " he says, a handsome smile on his face. " Do your best it's your last moments alive after all "

" Oh if it weren't contrary to etiquette I'd run off to fetch a bottle of vinegar to pour into every dish "

" You're insane " he pushes the cup in front of him, he wants to be poured some tea. “ Just give up. ”

" Regardless, it would've been off I go or off with my head " Tartaglia shrugs, pours him from the pot " I demand death or you. "

Kunikuzushi looks down at the food, the Guuji Yae by his side glares holes at him, while the Tenshukaku's servant nervously looks at the centrepiece Tartaglia set up

Kunikuzushi takes the first bite.

The way his face brightens at the food. He's got this in the bag.

.

Oh no.

Holy fucking shit.

This is actually good. The depth of the savoury flavour, the freshness of the kill, there is something in the sauce it was simmered in that he can't quite place. It pairs well with the bitterness of the herbal tea; something tangy on his tongue. It's good—better than good.
What the fuck???

This damn Childe made one of the best dishes he's ever tasted. Better than what the personally handpicked chefs by nobles make.

What the fuck???

Such a shame he's gonna have to kill him. It tastes good. So well cooked he could be convinced to start eating regularly like some human.

" I know taxonomically it's like any eel, and it's not a leviathan as grand as Haishan . But I had a secret ingredient; it's own venom! " Tartaglia proudly says.

Nagaoka, ever the human, spits it all out

Yae stops eating mid bite and frowns, she turns to Kunikuzushi , a silent message that can only mean; what the fuck.

Kunikuzushi blankly stares down at his portion of the meal, and begins to laugh
Poison. In his food. The audacity.
It tastes good too.
He's impressed
" No wonder! "

" It's not enough to make anyone sick but it adds quite a taste doesn't it? " Tartaglia nonchalant; does he have any awareness of what comes out of his mouth ?

.

Kunikuzushi is still eating, even if his servant and his mother's priestess have not touched the food since his explanation about the sauce. That's a good thing right?

" Hm, it's passable. " he places the utensils back down, an emptied bowl " But if it were that easy, I would have wed any normal horny craftsman wouldn't I ? "

In a split second; he's past the table, close to where Tartaglia stands and steps closer, his lithe form somehow far more intimidating the sharp toothed centrepiece

"
Cold crackling that sets you aflame,
Your fire it quenches, freezes in place.
White as jade and dark as night sky,
By whose light the soul's dark depths are lit
Purest divine, makes the heart tremble.
This flower of men's fiery dreams,
With beauty sweet and goodness shy,
If it grants you freedom, you become a slave
If it takes you as a slave, it makes you a king
Now look me in the face, man to man.
Die like a dog, or name the flower I mean."

" The flower. It's you, prince. " he raises his hand reaching towards him in ingenuine theatrics, " the most beautiful flower in Inazuma "

" Yes. Those are certainly the lines that suitors have recited in regards to my beauty. " his voice cold and commanding, " But there is a right answer; what is my name ? "

" Kunikuzushi? "

He tsks, " That's a title, not my name "

Alas; this was the trick. No one knows of his true name but those present for his birth. And the name he had before . . .
Is it ethical to deadname someone?
Tartaglia thinks, that of the stories he's learnt,
Il Dottore told him that before Kunikuzushi killed his segment Upsilon as a sacrificial offering to his mother, he was living with common folk and craftsmen.

" Come on! Why so pale ? I have so many names and titles, weren't you so confident you'd take me? " he mocks him. Kunikuzushi's expression is pride and triumph, one who knows they've won. But Tartaglia won't forfeit.

Tartaglia won't lose.

He thinks,
The supplemental reading material!
The prince told him he once loved a craftsman of Tatarasuna. One prevailing mystery he recalls from his mandatory cultural study is that there was a meltdown and trouble from within which caused chaos, but from his time with The Fatui he was told; in that furnace il Dottore conducted an experiment and handed technology which would later help in manufacturing delusions. The centrepiece of the prevailing mystery, who was it? The stranger in Sawada's famous novel, What was his name? Would it count? It's not his birth name but a name nonetheless.

" Kabukimono, "

" What " he gasps, his face falls

" The answer to your riddle. Your name before your title. " that's what he remembers reading about at least, that's what he remembers to be what il Dottore had been ranting raving annoyed about

" Oh " Yae stands.

" D-did i get it right?" Tartaglia stutters, fuck he has no sleep.

" It counts , he's passed ! " the Guuji Yae announces in a voice neutral, not giving away any thoughts of her own

" Wait—" Kunikuzushi frowns, as if reality was just beginning to sink in

He passed.

OH BY THE ARCHONS HE PASSED!

The look of utter shaken shock on the prince's face , it seems he can't hide his expression under that prideful bravado he seems all too keen to wear. His emotions seem mixed, but anger triumphs over confusion and shock

" How did you . . . " he grits his teeth " this can't be! I will not be given away like a stUPID TOY! " he yells, the electric rage in his eyes clear and crackling as if he would sooner break his oath and kill Tartaglia then and there.

" You promised this on your title, prince " the Guuji Yae stands smiling smugly to the side. " would you really go back to being a powerless commoner? Wandering for all eternity. "

" I'm not going back. " he takes a step , porcelain on the table shattering " and YOU! " he points to Tartaglia " STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT " his facade and bravado dropped , he clutches his own head " I don't need that pitiful fucking look! "
But he won't kill him. He values the little power he holds onto.

" He won, boy. You are the reward for his daring to challenge your trials. "

" No ! "
His fist breaks the table as he slams his hand on it
" I am the son of one nearest unto heaven ! I am a god ! Bow your heads ! "

" Enough of your tyranny and whims " Yae tries to match his energy, but simply cannot. The humans in the room cannot bear to keep standing and bow, pretending their prince isn’t having a meltdown

He turns to Tartaglia, grabbing his scarf, tripping him back, so fast it knocks the wind out of him " Would you have me be wed, forced and enraged? Is that what you want? "

" N-no " he shakes his head and stands from where he fell back, scarf loosening he recovers quick, " No prince, I would not have you forced. Instead. A name for a name. You do not know mine. If you can't guess my true name before dawn, we will be wed. But if you do. I will grant your wish to the best of my ability " he smiles sweet " My name is easy enough to guess "

" Even if I wish to kill you ? "

" I am a man of my word, no matter how absurd the promise is "

" Fine. " he turns away and into the Tenshukaku’s inner rooms , quick as lightning.
Slamming the doors of his room shut, he grabs his sword off the rack,
Fine. He laughs, Twenty two hours is more than enough for him to find out what that fool's name is. Twenty two hours is more than enough to learn where they found out his name and past. Twenty two hours is more than enough.
He’ll find his name.

Chapter Text

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" UNTIL I FIND HIS NAME NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO REST " He hisses out " Or , I will chop your head off for insubordination "

The soldiers of his divine mother stand at attention.

" Um, Your Highness, how exactly are we to find an intangible concept like a name "

" Fucking think for one second! The records, Kanjou commission’s records of transport. The damned papers that got him in this country in the first place! " He practically growls out " If there's nothing there then look for records of agreements, his work as a diplomat, check for letters he's sent and letters for him. "

" Yes sir! "

" I don't care if you have to intercept every single bird or rat in this country, go! "

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" What were you fucking thinking?! " Pantalone grabs his ear dragging him to sit on the couch

" Ow ow ow ow ow "

" This is too far, Tartaglia. I never thought you would be this foolish " La Signora reprimands him, a glass of wine in hand.

" Your fucking name ?! " Pantalone yells " Tartaglia you dumb little— I'm going to kill you if that brat doesn't "

" I- i "

" What. You had a plan? What's the plan " He says almost mockingly

" I f-felt bad for him, " He says in a small voice " I-it wouldn't be right to force him either. "

" Ugh. You should pray! "

" To whom , her majesty? "

" Literally anyone ! Fuck it! Slaughter a sacrifice for good fortune. " He throws his hands up " Honestly i'd rather slaughter that cat of a prince you're trying to take home. TARTAGLIA WHAT WERE YOU THINKING HOW COULD THIS BE A GOOD INVESTMENT" He groans, he yells, he's panicking. Tartaglia takes this cue to leave.

la Signora slaps Pantalone, if not to just calm him down, then to vent her frustrations
" And don't think you're getting away, Tartaglia. "
She says, stern, sitting him back down by his shoulders

" You slapped me! " Pantalone, higher pitched in disbelief

" But Signora ! " Tartaglia protests " It's the principle of conquest. How could I take him by force, that's basically already losing. I have to win him over "

She sighs. This damn brat.

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" Is this a bad time, your highness? "
Kirara sits by the window sill, not in a humanoid form. She has since learned Kunikuzushi was more partial to small creatures.

" Not at all Kirara, " He says, far more reserved and elegant. None of the rage she saw earlier " Do you have the cat bowls I ordered ? "

" No it’s . . The Amenomas are still making it. The delivery I have happens to be from your suitor "

His face sours

" Oh this really is a bad time " She squeaks

" It's not your fault; don't squeal like that. " He gestures " Just hand me whatever that brat sent."

She gives him his letter; and a small cat charm, wooden and painted black and white sitting in a regal pose with a little red and gold collar around its neck " It looks like you " She remarks.

" I'll be sure to tip extra next delivery, but can you leave? " He holds up the small wooden black and white cat charm against the sky.

" Don't be too angry at him, he fed the cats at Asase and— eep. I'll go " She jumps away,

Useful to have the same disdainful glare his mother has. He opens the letter.

"
Dearest future husband,

This cat lady brought me your letter. As of writing I am off to hunt down a very large eel for you to eat, I certainly hope you like it. That's just a taste of what I am as a husband!
Now then prince, I am not very good at wedding vows, but as a husband, I promise to be good and faithful to you. I promise to cook and clean every day so your beauty may never be tainted with stove burns or dust clumps.
And when I retire in old age, I promise to still be loyally yours.
How are those for our wedding vows?

If you like small animals I promise to allow you to have as many little critters in our home! I think this little charm looks a lot like you.

Your future husband ,
Tartaglia the 11th Harbinger

"

How human.
Sentimental human desires.
Loyalty is a lie. He knows that in his non existent metaphorical heart, that loyalty can be so easily broken

.

He observes from high above, gracefully watching like a cat during a hunt.

" Your son wants to kill one of The Tsaritsa's esteemed harbingers— how could I let that slide! " He enunciates and yells " Divinity or not! It is a great disrespect! Dishonouring a contract like THAT ! He answered all his riddles, it's only fair to marry him off already no questions! Yet here your little kitten, claws out, would like to disrespectfully maul our youngest— HOW DARE HE. Was there not an agreement in his words to let a man take him should he answe..." And the bastard drones on.

Tracking the movements of the harbingers was not difficult as he thought, just that blue haired fuck who keeps showing up in different places at the same time. This one was rather predictable though; following gold wherever he can sniff the metaphorical scent

" HE KILLED MY HUSBAND " Pantalone sure is going off , how long has he been talking with no end? " Your little brat is going to ruin the diplomatic relations between Snezhnaya and Inazuma! Do you really want that ?! "

How amusing, as if his mother's unresponsive unchanging nature didn't ruin things already.
" Your nobles agree with me. "

Do they now?

" It's time for your boy to marry and become a man! "

He chuckles at how stupid Pantalone's desperate attempt is. The goddess before him remains unresponsive, waiting for him to finish . Is he really just a brat like that? Despite everything he's done trying to fix the nightmare that is the political situation in Inazuma. His mother's laws for keeping the nation unchanging does not help anyone yet all his rectifying it would always be attributed to her. His handwriting was forever doomed to be similar to hers.

He walks along the rafters, the grace and elegance his more forthright mother does not have. He hears the servants speaking

" His highness has gone mad, I can't believe he's letting no one rest "

" Pray his divine mother knock sense into him "

" Pray to Her indeed " He drops from the rafters. " And so is that how you truly see me? A madman? " His fingers spark with the little bits of electric energy he can bring forth.

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Tartaglia sits atop the kitchen table; he's not allowed out. la Signora pours out a glass of wine, why she prefers it to firewater he does not know, her white dress would be easily stained if she spilled any. She was there to give him a small bag, a gift from Pantalone.

Tartaglia stares at the pristine perfectly made glasses from Liyue, circular in shape, covering his dead blue eyes and fixing that near blind nearsightedness of his

" Don't let Pantalone grab ahold of your face next time " La Signora, surprisingly gentle, grabs his face. perhaps it's because she thinks it's his last day on earth " You're quite handsome with or without glasses on, your choice on whether or not you want to wear it. "

" We can't do anything against the soldiers if they ask to enter our quarters. "

" No. We can't. "

He puts the glasses on, " Is that why he's complaining to The Shogun? "

" No use complaining to her to save your life. Have you ever talked to her? It's like speaking to a wall, except even the walls share more insight than she does. "

" Of course you'd know how to get insight from walls "

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Kunikuzushi sits within his rooms sharpening his blade. An Isshin sword just like his mother's but more personalised, the seal she put on his abilities feels nigh permanent, yet the sparks that fly when he comes into contact with the cold steel that harnesses the meagre amount of power he has tells him he can try. He can always try. But under her care he's not getting any closer. Maybe that blue haired freak had a solution.

A promise of faithfulness and loyalty. How silly of that redhead clown.

Perhaps once he had that longing for those wedding vows to be said to him yet that time has passed long ago . He's chosen this forceful placement of himself into his mother's court where it's made clear he has no place.

How could he change things?

What fate would it be if he ended up in that frigid woman's cold lands? Would he be so foolish to hope that she'll take him in and treat him well
He wonders what could have been
What if he agreed to that clown

In another life he might have accepted, but in this one he chose this hundred years of trying to undo eternity. Is it too late to run? Find another path?

Marriage to a foreign childe,

In this way, could he run free ?

What is he thinking . . .

A knock on his door,
He ceases sharpening.
" Your highness! We've found his name. We found it in the Fatui's laundry "

The okuzumeshuu hands the letter to his prince , a cold chilling delight, at least now he has a choice. Kunikuzushi smiles, and laughs " How the hell do I read this it's in Snezhnayan."

Chapter Text

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The darkness in the sky, the back terrace illuminated by the firelight of the lamps.
Silent, he stands above a raised platform in the back of the Tenshukaku terrace
" Now, Tartaglia. Don't you want to come closer? "

Veiled hat blows in the wind, his sword is ready

" Are you ready ? "

" To die by your hand? " He's not ready to die " It would be an honour " theatrics and bravado. He knows he’s made up his mind, yet still the theatrics drags on

" Your life is in my hands, how could you still stand there "

" Because I think I am in love with you "

" You're scared "

" I am "

He throws an envelope at his feet , Tartaglia picks it up and recognises it immediately.
" I-it's, its my father's letter to me "

" Your family really cares for you "

" He does. "

“ Then why do this ? “

“ The need is a part of me I cannot escape. ”

" Come closer. Let's have a talk before I take your head as a trophy. " He beckons, pale hand being the only skin he would see while he has a veiled hat on " I don't know why I would do this. Why I let this go on for so long. Normally i'm decisive about killing suitors "

" Perhaps you've fallen for me " Kunikuzushi scoffs at that. Obedient, Tartaglia comes closer, almost looks timid like this, a proper pressed coat on and glasses hiding his abyss touched eyes

" You have glasses on now "

" And you always have you hat on "

" Do you think looking timid will help you? " He huffs, almost a laugh " You're so eager to show your nature of hunger what good will your glasses and coat do to hide it? "

" Nothing. Perhaps being timid is my true nature, perhaps the abyssal hunger is my true nature, who knows. You're the one to speak; you often hide beneath that hat " he tilts his head slightly " A noble lady's hat. It hides you. "

" You look timid like this "

" Its because its warm "

" Then you ought to be more comfortable "

He takes off his coat, his familiar grey and red suit beneath it

" That's more you. "

" Is it? "

" I don't know. "
Tartaglia lets the coat fade into the space where he keeps his weapons " The coat makes you look like every other Snezhnayan man "

" I always thought that maybe I'd be like every other Snezhnayan man at this age, I'd have a normal life as a hunter, an actor— maybe even an adventurer. My father was one before he settled with my mother; maybe I'd be like him and find a good man to raise a farm with. Isn't it silly? Even then I had that hunger, that want for more, but I thought that it would pass. Yet here I am. "

" An abyss touched young man, about to pass "

" By your hand "

" You could have run. " He looks upon him " Why aren't you running, attempt a kidnapping later. "

" I always keep my honour and my word. And even then, I get to see your beauty up close. Even if you are wearing a veil "

" You really do need glasses to see "

" Yeah. I'm nearsighted" He takes them off " Do you not like them?"

" Does it matter what I like? You're going to force me to be wed regardless "

" I'll try not to . " He folds the glasses and puts them away like his weapons “ Marry me, " He asks again

" Are you marrying me for power, a political strategy? "

" No. " He confirms, " I don’t ever want to do those tricks schemes . I'm the vanguard of our queen, upfront and forward. "

" Asking to marry me overturned everyone's plans. Yet you're seeing this through to the end. Why are you like this? " even without glasses, Tartaglia can see that he does not seem to understand why, after all his honesty

" They said they have an assurance for me. I don't know what it is but they promise me that even if you get what you want, everything will be fine"

" What does that mean? "

" Honestly I don't know. " He shrugs " They always keep me in the dark. Maybe it will mean my siblings will get a huge insurance payout" He chuckles

" You're so stupid. " How cold, " Typical for a human. Living , filthy mortal flesh. "
He knocks away his veiled hat as he seizes his wrist " How dare you, I am not a mere human you can touch "

" Yet you are here, with us, tangible. I can feel you, alive "
Tartaglia holds him close, as Kunikuzushi is swept off his feet , he can feel him breathe as he speaks

" I am the son of one nearest unto heaven, child of the most eminent and noble incarnation of lighting " His face is close to his, he makes no move to resist

" Listen prince, I want you to be mine— "

" I am a god in my own right, you know touching me is sacrilege "

" — and I will be yours — "

" No mortal will possess me "

" — when we are wed "

" I will not be betrayed again! " He hisses , face close to his

" I will be a faithful husband, I shall not betray you. "

" I am not human. You are flesh and blood. " He looks him dead in those dull blue eyes , a challenge " What do you even believe will happen if you take me?"

" Perhaps . . .
He was not going to kiss him at the moment, but this, this is a challenge. " Your kiss will give me eternity "

And he leans in deeper.

His kiss is electric, he tastes like smoked herbal tea. He feels his nerves alight, a buzzing in his ears as he closes his eyes. Kunikuzushi drops his blade and clings onto his back for balance, he quickly pulls away. He feels electrocharged , so that's what happens when you kiss him

The sky lightens a beautiful blue twilight hue

" I am madly in love with you "

" Your name . . . " He makes no move to push him away, hesitates
" Ajax "

Ajax smiles.
" My name is Ajax, prince,"

The sun rises, painting the sky gold, light glimmering on the surface of the darkened sea

" Why is it pronounced like that? " He frowns, touching his own lips

" You can do with me what you will, prince. I promised you one wish "

" I wish to . . . " He sighs " I can't believe I'm fucking saying this– I wish to marry you "

" Wait really?! "

" Do you want me to rescind my statement "

" No no, I'm just . . . " He holds him by the waist " So happy "

And he lifts him up and twirls around " I'M GETTING MARRIED!!" He carries him like a sack of rice on his shoulder and starts running

" Hey! Put me down !"

" I'M GETTING MARRIED~!!! "

.

.

.

"

Dear ma and pa,

I'm getting married!! He's very beautiful and strong. I survived his suitor trials and i'm soon to marry him! The religious leader and the Yashiro and Tenryou commissions doesn't seem too happy about it, but we have it in the bag since the prince I'm marrying is the ruling archon's son. Did Pulcinella mention that? Pantalone is returning to Snezhnaya before me to draw up some more of his grand schemes, and I will send this on his express boat home. so by the time you receive this letter I may already be married! But do not worry, I won't stay in Inazuma for too long, we'll have a Snezhnayan wedding too. Your most successful son is happy to announce that i've caught a great man.

I managed to impress him through my cooking, he likes savoury foods and bitter drinks. Texture is a problem for him it seems, I think he hated the sour sauce because it was a little sweet and sticky.

He even let me kiss him and it made me feel so happy my heart could have stopped. Now I know how our eldest sister felt when she met brother in law. I'm taking him home to meet the family within the next month, and if heaven allows, we will not meet his mother.

The specialties I sent are specially picked by the local cultural consultants and a few of them I've tried myself. The Inazuman style dyed silks are for mama, and the shrimp chips are for Tonia. The rest is to be distributed at your discretion.

Your son,
Ajax

P.S. my husband to be is approximately 166cm and his waistline is approximately 70cm. I think he likes the colour black but I can't be too sure. I will have to ask him. Can you ask mama to make a scarf? He says he physically cannot feel cold but I think it would be a nice gesture. Also the live eels are for eating, not pets.

"

" Mama! Ajax is getting married to the electro archon's son!" Tonia runs to her mother, copper coloured hair bouncing behind her

" Ajax' getting married !? " Her mother exclaims, taking the letter to read.

.

.

.

Been a week or so since the ginger's triumph over his trials. He's spread the word that he's chosen a suitor and the Tenryou and Yashiro has understandably opposed.

" Prince, out of whatever wish you could have asked for. Why marry me? "

" Isn't this the outcome you wanted "

They wait for the representatives of the three commissions in a private room, food has already been ordered, tea has been served.

" If you didn't want to cause a diplomatic problem by killing me, you could have told me to fuck off forever , never to return to Inazuma lest divine lighting stike me! " He dramatises

" I don't think I want that either. I made up my mind before you so shamelessly impatiently acted like the brat you are. "

" Why? " He scooches closer " I'm just a little curious "

" I wanted a dog " he teases

" Come on, if you wanted a dog there's countless out there falling for your mystique " His face close to his " Tell me the real reason "

" Hm." He makes a sound of consideration, he places his hand on Tartaglia's face. Enough to cover those dull blue eyes , perhaps to hide the expression on his face " No one here loves me, no matter what I've done to gain approval. I've caused a lot of trouble for a very long time, but I worked hard for over a hundred years to fix it. I've proved myself a better ruler than my mother, yet they don't care. They see me as nothing but a child under her guidance. They only love and care about me because I'm hers. You on the other hand, you who is in love with me— I can use.
Love , it's all conditional "

" You sound like il Dottore. Him and Pantalone believe love is a conditional thing. An exchange. I don't think so . . . I think love is something that is unconditional and undiscerning. Call me a romantic, a theatre kid, but I think that it's something that's priceless "

" You believe in fantastical notions like true love "

He pulls his hand away from his face and holds it in his own giving it a kiss " I've spent two decades watching my parents be lovey dovey, of course I believe in true love "

" You're that young? "

" Yes?? "

" By celestia i'm a cradle robber "

" Hey hey hey don't say that, you're so old that would make me a grave robber! "

" Maybe I should rethink marrying you "

" No takebacksies ! "

.

.

.

Ajax always thought marriage was a romantic thing, he didn't expect it to be like this. In the shrine office filling forms and signing papers . After their chosen witnesses left, at least he's alone with the prince in the shrine's inner chambers. Surprisingly, there's an even smaller shrine of his now mother-in-law in there.

" So . . . How did you know my former name "

" Dumb luck I suppose. "

" You're lying "

" You . . . You told me that you loved a swordsmith. And I figured , I connected a few dots and well. I guessed it was you that story talked about "

" Those were old records . "

" Yeah. They were. The suitor challenge is rigged that way isn't it? No one else could have won. Only il Dottore knew because he was manufacturing delusions in Yashiori and Tatarasuna, but he can't marry you cause he's already committed and married to his business partner. "

" Detective Shikanoin could have won, he cleared all the cold cases in Inazuma and it includes even mine. It was just lucky he took the hint that my suitor challenge was because I don't want to marry "

" Could it be . . " he gasps " . . You had a crush on him and that's why he's the only one who can solve the trials? "

" I'm marrying you, aren't I? "

With a final signing of papers and the pre stamped approval from the Guuji Yae, that's it. They're married. He thought there would be a whole ceremony like how he reads the light novels.

" The start of a new life. " Kunikuzushi mumbles he holds up the paper

" That's the real reason then ? " He asks , he does not answer.

They stand side by side in front of a small indoor shrine to the electro archon.
The prince finishes writing a letter, taking a photo of the marriage certificate with a kamera and placing it together inside. Then promptly charring the varnished lacquer by releasing a large burst of electro onto it. The most he's seem from him, probably the most he can do

" We're officially, completely husbands now " Tartaglia's honestly in a bit of disbelief , how the hell did he pull it off. " till death do us part. "

" There. I even told my mother. You happy ? "

" Hm. Not just yet. May I kiss the groom ? "

Contemplating, he looks to the side, and back at him " You . . . You may "

Tartaglia leans in and this time, Kunikuzushi kisses back, pulling him by the deep red collar of his button up shirt. It's electric, his heart feels like it's going to pounce right out of his chest.

" Okay that's enough " He pushes him away , letting go of his shirt, looking sideward

" So . . . When will we consummate our marriage? "

" We aren't at that stage yet " He turns away, and begins walking, he's quite certain that if the prince was flesh and blood he would be blushing

" Yet? Alright then, I'll have to work hard to charm you! " They step outside to their newlywed lives.

The bright light of the morning shines making him look as divine as he truly is, but somehow it’s different. He’s all the more beautiful like this, no dissatisfaction or anger, the anticipation for something new in his eyes, Ajax is glad to have been spared he’s glad to have chosen him.

" I love you "

" Sure " his now husband scoffs and rolls his eyes " Walk faster before I make you swim home "

He follows, taking his hand into his own, he lets him, so elated to have him he feels breathless, perfect soft hands squeeze the boy’s own warm palm. With barely hidden excitement to leave, he pulls him away.