Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

While it’s a common accepted fact that there may exist some sort of higher being(s), as given by the many different religions and beliefs to exist in the world, no one besides a few people have ever truly experienced the sensations of stepping into a world of gods, magical beasts, and evil spirits.

And perhaps, maybe from a different perspective, these gods and deities would appear different, have different names and different things that they represent. It’s all a matter of belief and perspective, after all.

But nonetheless, gods are gods and where there is belief and worship over an ideal, over some concept that people pray to with wishes for one subject or another, a god is born from these combined hopes in the heavens, a cumulation of mankind’s wishes.

In this way, gods are born of wishes to fulfill the purpose of man, to take more wishes and grant them to the best ability. Whether through descending down to the mortal plane to grant it themselves, or to send a vassal on their behalf, wishes are granted and worship is continued. A god grows from the people’s beliefs, and climbs the ranks of heaven higher and higher. As they grow, the number of shrines and followers grows also, the strength of worship and wishes having a direct influence on a god’s own powers and abilities.

Having a higher status in heaven, while not necessarily always being constant, usually came along with having many vassals, the more technical name for them being shinki. 

Shinki were spirits of the dead, those that had died either by an accident or some premature reason other than suicide. Gods had the ability to take these floating spirits and give them a name, giving them some of their power and a human body to live once more. While this process took with it all of that human’s memories and even their name, they were essentially given a second chance at life, given another life when the one that they had lived before was so unfairly stolen from them by either life’s misfortunes or other human’s consequential actions.

But with an unimaginable second chance at life, the strings of fate being twisted and turned by a system that contradicted itself, of course there exist rules and restrictions that bind shinki and the gods into a kind of mutual pact agreement.

As they are living (spiritual and not easily seen by mortals, but still living in a sense) manifestations of a god’s own power, shinki have a responsibility to stay away from worldly desires and refraining from those things that are considered “wrong”. While gods are pure and cannot do “wrong”, the concepts of good and evil being purely human concepts, shinki were once human and thus have knowledge of the things that are considered sins and not. 

When a shinki commits a sin, has intense emotions, or even dies, this is reflected wholly on the god that names them in the form of a sharp pain on the nape of their neck.

If continued with neither consequence nor correction for that shinki, this sin appears on the god as a dark purplish mark called blight, which saps the god of their strength and renders them in excruciating pain.

Gods feel pain, and contrary to popular belief, can and have died before. 

Upon their death, they are instantly reincarnated into a blank slate of themselves for as long as the ideal that they are worshiped for is still worshiped, they still have duties to attend to.

And it’s because of all this and the worldly power of the universe, that under the worship of the concept of good harvest and agriculture, a small god of harvest was born one day a millenia ago, and the heavens rejoiced.

He was a little deity, with flowers and petals in his hair, a laugh that caused flora to bloom, steps that left patches of grass in his path. His gray hair was soft, his eyes a bright blue like bluebells.

His name was praised, and he only grew and grew, from the small and smiling child god that he was into a beautiful and well-worshiped one, with long flowing hair with flowers and petals weaved in, robes of gossamer and shimmering fabrics, a light following him everywhere he went.

He had many shrines all throughout the mortal plane, all kinds of worshippers that prayed for the good harvests and fortune, wishes that he granted with grace and a gentle wave of his hand with all of his heavenly power and ability.

As a harvest god, most of his duties landed in the realm of going down to the fields and blessing the crops. This also included occasionally fighting off ayakashi (the technical name for evil spirits that inspirited mortals and brought many negative effects along with them) with the help of his various shinki (shinki also having the ability to literally become a god’s weapon, taking on the form of a vessel of some sorts), purifying the land, among other things.

He was a benevolent god, one who would answer all of the prayers he could, no matter the person, no matter the offering. While most other gods had a tendency to grant prayers for greater offerings of greater fortune, he seldom cared about riches and status.

The one type of offering that he favored the most, were those of cooked foods. Perhaps it was related to how as the god of harvest, he felt happiest being able to enjoy the harvest that he so dearly helped out with.

Some other gods would call him air-headed and dumb, and there were others that were jealous of him, spiteful and disapproving of his way of life. 

Despite all that, he lived in bliss without any care, enjoying his life and happily going down to the mortal plane with his shinki to bless the harvests.

He didn’t really have any friends, save for the stoic god of wealth and commerce, Himeru. 

Their friendship started off more as a business agreement, Himeru chastising the harvest god for leaving all the wealth and offerings other than food alone. He eventually in turn allowed Himeru to take any of his offerings that weren’t food; he honestly didn’t care about anything else as long as he got to experience the many different tastes born from his work.

He was a very happy god, one that didn’t participate in much conflict and found joy in the small things in life, in the comfort of food and warmth.

And perhaps it is by this reason that the subsequent erasure of his name from all of common knowledge was more of a fortunate thing for him rather than not.

It was a series of unfortunate events on the mortal plane, things he wouldn’t have been able to prevent even if he cared. 

First, it was one murder at one of his main shrines on a hot summer night. Then another. And another. Then, a plague on the harvest of that year. And then an earthquake that shook the land, crops burned to ashes by fires that erupted.

Because mankind has the simple-minded tendency to cling onto misconstrued agreement that disasters like these were caused by some deity, by unfortunate association the harvest god took all the blame.

Because the power of a god directly is influenced by the belief of the people, with the rapid spread of ideals, the widely praised harvest god was reduced to a god of misfortune, one that people should be wary of. His shrines were torn down, burned to ashes, and even his name was scratched out of all texts.

Misfortune seemed to follow him everywhere, and even all of the other gods in heaven eventually forgot his name, only addressing him as “ that god of misfortune”. Even his shinki eventually all requested to separate themselves from him, not wanting to be associated with his misfortune.

He himself really didn’t mind. He understood why everyone was leaving him, and only smiled and waved them off after releasing them from under him. Some of them went off to other gods, others simply decided to pass on to the afterlife.

No matter what, he wished them the best and watched them leave. And eventually, he was alone. No shinki, no worshippers, just him and his misfortune.

Himeru did offer to help him, having doubts of all of the circumstances around the harvest god’s fall from grace being orchestrated possibly by other gods, but the harvest god simply laughed it off with a “ Nahaha, it’s fine~ If I’m not blamed, someone else will be .”

With no name, and no place for him in heaven any longer, the fallen harvest god took what little belongings he had left and descended down to the mortal plane.

What he didn’t anticipate at all, was that through this, he had escaped one of the greatest conflicts to ever happen in heaven. 

An upheaval within the ranks of heaven split all of the gods into two, all having to choose sides between that of two opposing ideals. Even lesser gods were forced to pick a side, dragged into a conflict that they themselves might not even be interested in.

It was either the choice of siding with the gods that disapproved of mortal ambition, lead by the god of dawn, Tenshouin Eichi, or to side with those that supported mortal ambition, lead by the older of the Sakuma brothers, the god of midnight, Sakuma Rei.

It was a great war where many shinki were killed, much divine blood was shed, and even several gods were slain and subsequently reincarnated.

The harvest god ironically escaped all of this with his lack of luck. He lived in blissful poverty, finding a small shack for himself down on the mortal plane and growing his own crops. While his powers were well-changed from his transformation into a misfortune god, he was still able to grow things of his own skills without any help from his godly powers. He lived humbly, enjoying his new life of solitude and occasionally laughing at small misfortunes that would happen to him.

He only received news of what was transpiring in the heavens through his occasional talks with Himeru, who of which did not pick any specific side, curiously enough, and maintained a neutral stance on the matter. No one dared to raise a hand towards the god of wealth and commerce.

While the harvest god had no part in any of the war, that is not to say that he was completely unaffected by it. It was more on the after-effects of the war, when the clash of divine ideals finally came to a conclusion, no side really winning with many losses on both. It really was a war found to be completely pointless, as mankind lived unbeknownst to it all, unaware of the blood spilt over its ambitions.

—

It was a fine day, when he was walking along his small field one day and checking on his crops. While doing his checks, he found several of his produce stolen, a trail of blood leading into the nearby woods.

Against all common sense, he followed the trail. It led him to a small clearing, where a young boy with pink hair and a tattered yukata lay curled up against a tree, breathing heavily.

The harvest god never himself encountered this boy, but had heard of him. Oukawa Kohaku, the god of calamity. He’s heard of the things that the calamity god has done, granting wishes of death and murder, fulfilling dark desires, even of other gods. In a sense, the calamity god was used as a tool.

The harvest god frowned.

He never expected the calamity god to be this young, though.

The last time Himeru stopped by, he mentioned how an entire clan was slain by the calamity god, with only one lone survivor. The god whose clan was slain was no lesser god, as he was the god of the seas. Of course, this sent all of heaven into turmoil over the calamity god, many calling for his capture and execution.

It is important to note that the god of the seas was one of the gods leading the side that supported mortal ambition, one of the four other gods that sided with the god of midnight. Perhaps that entire event was also orchestrated by the other side, yet all of the blame was placed on the tool that was used to carry it out.

The harvest god watched from a distance, before slowly starting to approach.

The calamity god looked up suddenly at the sound of his footsteps, bright purple eyes wild with fear. He was covered in dried blood, yet didn’t have a single wound on him.

“Hi, are you alright? You know, those vegetables taste much better cooked?” he softly mumbled, crouching down next to the young god.

A multitude of expressions flash across his face, before the young god slowly uncurled himself. “Who are you, and what do you want?” he muttered, voice laced in distrust.

The harvest god smiled. “Just a misfortunate god. Don’t really have a name anymore, but that’s fine. There’s nothing better in this world than food, anyways~”

The calamity god frowned. “You’re not…with them? You’re not here to take me to them? To give me what I deserve?”

“What you deserve? What do you deserve? All I can think of is that you deserve to have a good meal instead of just raw cucumbers.”

In a blink of an eye, the harvest god finds himself pinned under the younger god, a knife held dangerously close by his neck.

“Don’t you know?! You probably do- I’m the god of calamity!”

“Yeah, and?”

The boy’s eyes were wild, the hand holding the knife next to the harvest god’s neck was quivering.

“Misfortunate god or not, you must’ve heard of the news! I’ve killed so many- I’ve killed so many shinki, I’ve killed gods, aren’t you scared of me even a bit?” he cried out, tears streaking down his face.

“Aren’t you even a little bit afraid of me even a little bit?”

The harvest god slowly lifted a hand, wiping away tears from the younger boy’s face. He smiled. “Nahaha~ You see, I don’t really have any shinki, and I’m really just a god of misfortune. Don’t misfortune and calamity go hand-in-hand?”

He watched as the boy’s eyes widened. He continued.

“And I may not know anything about you, but I know Kohaku-chan isn’t all that. There’s probably more to the story that only Kohaku-chan knows. You don’t like doing it, right? But only do it because you feel that it’s your duty?”

The harvest god laughed softly. “I know you won’t hurt me. You don’t have any orders to, and you really don’t want to. Isn’t that why you’re here in the first place, not only running from heaven but also running from those that used you as a tool?”

Kohaku’s grip on the knife loosened, the knife falling to the side. He was shaking even more.

“You’ll be safe with me. Heaven won’t touch you, those dumb folk really don’t want to mess with my misfortune, nahaha~” He smiled up at him. “You’re safe here.”

It’s at that point that he can see the mask crumble, Kohaku collapsing into his arms and sobbing, the crusted blood of others being washed away by his tears.

He sat up, gently rubbing the smaller boy on the back as he wailed into his chest, the sound of his cries echoing through the clearing.

“I never asked to be born a calamity god! I don’t want to kill anymore, I never wanted to in the first place…I only did what I was told to, I thought it was my purpose in this world. What’s the point if I don’t do what I was born for?” he hiccuped, grabbing fistfuls of the harvest god’s robes.

The harvest god smiled bittersweetly, bringing the younger in closer. “We can’t control what we’re born as, but there’s nothing that says that you have to stay as a god of calamity, you know? There’s no rule, and things change as time passes, as does human belief. It’s like that thing that humans believe in, what was it called… that stupid thing everyone was fighting over…mortal ambition and picking out your own fate rather than letting something else guide you?”

Kohaku lifted his head, looking up at him. “I…don’t have to be a god of calamity?”

He smiled. “Nope. You’re down here on the mortal plane, why don’t you try to offer help in the little things, like helping out the farmers nearby water their crops? While in heaven you may still be to everyone, a no-good calamity god, what really matters is what the humans believe, right?”

Kohaku sniffled, wiping away his tears. “But what about you? You said you’re a god of misfortune…if we can change what we are, why don’t you try?”

The harvest god shook his head. “I’ve already been changed, Kohaku-chan. But really, I’m fine. Humans need something to blame, and I’m content with taking all of that blame. If not me, someone else will have to suffer, right? I never really cared about worshippers or power, anyways. As long as I get to have yummy food, I’m happy~”

“You’re a little weird.”

“Nahaha~ I get told that a lot. Now come on, let’s get you cleaned up. I was thinking of making a pot of nabe for dinner today, have you ever had nabe, Kohaku-chan?”

Kohaku glared at him as he helped him up to his feet. “Stop it with the Kohaku-chan! Just because I’m smaller than you-”

“But you’re definitely younger than me so it fits~” he teased, grabbing the smaller boy’s hand.

“Shut up uh- wait, what should I call you? You said you don’t really have a name anymore…”

The harvest god shrugged. “Everyone calls me That god of misfortune , some of my former shinki call me Fuun-Kami. Oh, and Himeru-kun calls me Harvest-san for some reason. What I’m trying to say is, anything is fine~”

“Okay, then I’m going to call you Weird-han.”

“Kohaku-chan! At least give me some respect, geez~”

And just as the harvest god expected, when news reached heaven that the calamity god was under his protection, all discussion around punishment and capture of the calamity god ceased.

Centuries passed, and they lived in relative peace. 

While the harvest god continued to work in his fields, trying out new recipes he’d learn from talking with people in the towns, Kohaku slowly worked hard, trying to establish himself no longer as a calamity god but a messenger god. He helped deliver letters and messages, and occasionally helped with other chores.

Occasionally Himeru stopped by too to have tea or dinner with the two of them. While initially expressing concern over the ex-calamity god’s presence, he slowly warmed up to the younger boy and even started to dote on him, bringing with him sweets every time he visited.

They were like a small cozy family of misfits, a fallen harvest god, the eccentric and mysterious god of commerce, and the ex-calamity god.

—

Thousands and thousands of rotations around the sun passed, and society left its traditional ways for more modern advancements. Wardrobes changed, speech changed, and even ways of life.

This was also reflected in the divine, many of the gods swapping out their old robes for more modern outfits. Heaven itself even took on the appearance of a city rather than a village in clouds, with towering skyscrapers that glittered.

For the harvest god, there also was much change. He wore a simple white button-up with a black tie and black pants. His hair was still long, but the flowers that used to be in them have long been wilted away, leaving only a silvery curtain that reached down to his ankles.

He no longer lived in the rural countryside, but had a house in the suburbs of a big city. It had a quaint yard where he grew not only various produce, but now also flowers.

The front area of his house also doubled as a small café, where he sold sweets he baked and coffee. It wasn’t that popular, but he was proud to have several regulars who often stopped by.

Kohaku had a room, but was often out fulfilling requests and slaying ayakashi. Himeru still dropped by, but was more busy fulfilling his own requests and wishes back in his place in heaven.

Simply put, it was a little lonely. Not that the harvest god really minded, he was used to it.

He was happy with his home, and the food that he surrounded himself with.

Even after years have passed, he still didn’t name another shinki. He helped spirits pass on, and Kohaku was the one who kept their area clean of ayakashi, but the harvest god himself never ended up taking in another spirit under his service.

He didn’t want to subject someone else to his misfortune, not knowing if he’d be able to take care of them as was a god’s responsibility to their shinki. 

Sure, he did take Kohaku in, but that boy was also a god and wasn’t hurt by the occasional occurrences that happened around him. These were varied, like a pipe falling through the roof, or a small fire erupting out of nowhere. Even small things happened, like the newer modern technology that Himeru brought to them like that of an air conditioning unit sometimes breaking and leaving them to melt in the hot summer heat.

Sometimes he wondered why he still existed, not having a single person left that knew his name. It’s been so long, that even he’s begun to forget it.

One interesting thing, though, was that he discovered that by some miracle he still had one small shrine. It was old and very small, on a hidden path and extremely dilapidated, but it was definitely still a shrine to him. Time and the elements had beaten down on it, his name being worn away and leaving him nameless, but he could still feel the connection to him from the shrine.

Perhaps it was the one remaining thing that kept him in existence rather than fading away to oblivion.

What he didn’t expect, though, was that one day that shrine would be cared for, and that ultimately his entire life would change.

He swore off ever taking in a shinki again, but sometimes, that phenomenon which is called fate has a different plan in store for him.

—

It’s a normal summer day when the harvest god’s simple and monotonous life is suddenly splashed in color.

The sky was overcast, a sudden downpour flooding the streets with a nearby typhoon. He was at home, trying to fix a hole where the roof had caved in. Kohaku had been gone for several weeks, fulfilling a long request to clean up a farm in the countryside infested with ayakashi.

He stared up at his work, wringing out water from his rain-soaked hair as he admired the tarp he managed to hang in place to cover up the hole. He sighed, looking around at the room.

Luckily Kohaku-chan isn’t here so it didn’t cave in on him~ Ah, he’s going to be so upset when he finds out all his books got soaked…

He picked up a drenched book, the pages soggy and ink running. Lifting up a finger, he waved it around, watching some drops of water leave the book.

I’ll have to ask Himeru-kun to help fix the roof again. Nahaha~ Can’t believe this is the third time this month. Guess my luck really is at its most low during the summer~ Ah, I really hate the summer.

Food spoils easily, it’s so hot, and the cicadas won’t shut up.

He got to work, mopping up the puddles and trying his best with what small powers he had to make it look like a torrential downpour didn’t just destroy nearly all of Kohaku’s belongings.

He was busy hanging up to dry a big plush hamster that Kohaku got from the nearby arcade, when he felt a warm feeling in his gut.

He blinked, not having felt that feeling in centuries. The feeling of someone praying to him.

Curious, he clapped his hands together and closed his eyes, concentrating on his power to send himself quickly to his one and only shrine.

He opened his eyes, finding himself in the small and secluded clearing his shrine was in. He sat on top of the shrine’s small roof, rain sliding down through the thick leaves of trees that blocked the sky. It was quiet, save for the sound of the rain pitter-pattering against the floor.

Except he wasn’t alone.

Huddled up under his shrine, with their head bowed, was a man with slightly unruly red hair. He had a black t-shirt and ripped blue jeans, with a black headband keeping the hair out of his face. He had a small red and blue ribbon tied around one of his wrists.

The man looked to be around his early twenties, and sat with his head bowed and hands clasped together.

Curious, the harvest god lowered himself, straining his ear to hear the man’s prayer.

“- I don’t know who you are, and I don't really know much about the gods of the city or whatever, even if I’ve lived here for so long. But umm, thanks for letting me take shelter from the rain.”

Ah, he must’ve been lucky enough to find my shrine while looking for cover. How ironic, being lucky to find a god of misfortune~

“Haha, it must be fate that I stumbled across this shrine. I can’t seem to find your name, but I’m supposed to give you my wishes, right? I hope you can help me with them.”

The man took a deep breath, before continuing.

“You see, I’m an idol! Or well…I’m trying to be one, have been for years. To shine up on stage and inspire people, lift their spirits, that's what I want to be. Like a star in the sky, I guess.”

An idol? Hmm, I remember Kohaku-chan telling me about those once. Humans that sing and dance for other humans. That are worshiped by “fans”.

Hmm~ That’s not very different from the concept of gods.

“Anyways, I just want to ask for your blessing or something. I don’t know, just a little help is fine. I’ve gotten this far on my own, but it’d be nice to have some divine help.”

The man slowly opened his eyes and laughed softly. They were a bright blue, like that of the seas.

“What am I doing…Am I this desperate to be praying to an unknown god?” He shook his head, turning to watch the sky. By coincidence, he faced the harvest god, unable to see the other as his presence was concealed.

The harvest god felt curious, intrigued by this man. He quietly climbed down from the shrine, taking a seat next to the man who had huddled back up against the shrine to avoid being further soaked.

A wish… A wish for me to grant?

He frowned. Would he even be able to do anything with that? Even the man himself expressed doubt.

He continued to sit there with the man, not knowing what to do but hoping that his hidden presence at least gave the man some warmth from the cool rain.

When the rain finally lets up, he watches the man get up, and then pause before exiting the clearing.

He walked back over to the shrine, kneeling down.

“Sorry, I don’t really have anything on me. Left my wallet in my apartment but umm…”

The harvest god watched the man lift his wrist, slowly untying the ribbon around it.

“I should leave an offering at least, right? Thanks for letting me take shelter and listening to me. I took this with me when I left home, I hope it’s enough for repayment.” He took the ribbon and tied it around one of the shrine’s poles. He then got up and walked away, leaving the clearing and the harvest god alone.

The harvest god untied the ribbon, pulling it into his hands. He stared down at it, feeling waves of some warm feeling emanating from it, the signs of a well-cherished item.

He slowly gathered up his long hair, tying it into a low ponytail with the ribbon.

And much like the ribbon that now intertwined his hair, which Kohaku only stared at but didn’t ask about when he returned from his job, the harvest god found his daily life intertwined with this new and curious man that had given him a wish.

The man, as he said, was a solo idol who performed at small venues. The venues were often nearly empty, save for a few staff and a small number of attendees. But no matter what the man would smile and give his all up on stage.

The harvest god went to all of these performances, standing hidden in the back of the hall and watching in awe, enamored by how the man seemed to sparkle.

While he didn’t know if it was even within his skills to help grant the man’s wish, he found himself cheering for the man, wanting more people to notice how hard he was working.

Maybe he’d put in a word with Himeru the next time the wealth god came along, he’d probably have an idea of what to do.

But before he could have the chance to ask Himeru, the cruelness of fate was laid clear on a bright sunny day.

Perhaps it was his misfortune rubbing off. The man did pray to the god of misfortune, after all.

He was out tending to his garden with Kohaku, when a sudden foreboding feeling sent shivers down his spine, his watering can clattering to the floor.

Something bad was going to happen, something connected to himself. He could feel it in the way his body shook.

Kohaku was barely able to ask what was wrong, before the harvest god vanished, appearing on a quiet street corner.

He spotted the man stumbling on the side of the road, steps unsteady and teetering back and forth. The man clutched a piece of crumpled up paper in one hand, and in the other was a can of beer.

The harvest god is barely able to lift his hand and cry out the man’s name, before he watches as the man veers into the street, in the way of an oncoming vehicle.

He can only watch in horror as the man crumpled to the ground on the impact, blood splattering across the pavement. 

A life, snuffed out like that. It’d been so long, but he forgot how fragile humans really were.

A crowd gathers around the scene, and emergency responders are called, but the harvest god knows that they won’t find anything but a cold body with no pulse.

He feels tears falling from his eyes, unfamiliar and stinging.

Out of the corner of his eye, unseen by the humans, he spots a small red light drifting in the air. He runs over, reaching up and cupping it in his hands.

A sudama, a form that a spirit of the dead can take. It was small and red, with a small face that seemed confused with no thoughts on its bearings.

The harvest god brought the small puffball close to him, feeling its coolness as it tried to float out of his hands.

His tears continued to fall as he carried the small spirit away from the scene, away from the cold body that was once its home.

“Hey, no…don’t float away, stay with me.” he mumbled softly, bringing it closer to his chest. It stared up at him, the small red light pulsing softly.

“You’ll be safe with me. I’m sorry. Ah…you’re finally shining like the star you’ve always wanted to be, haha….” he hiccuped, slowly adjusting his hands.

He held the confused spirit in one hand, while slowly lifting his other and slowly tracing out a character in the air.

He doesn’t know why he does it. He’d sworn off of ever doing it again, out of fear but also maybe his own cowardice. He was fine being alone, Kohaku and Himeru were enough company for him.

But seeing this man, this wonderful man’s life be suddenly taken from him when he had so much more that he could’ve had, the harvest god felt heart-broken.

After all, wasn’t it his fault this all happened? The man prayed to him, the harvest god-turned misfortune god, his misfortune was bound to affect him one day.

He’s whispering the incantation, the naming ritual he hasn’t done for centuries. The naming of a shinki, the gift of a second chance.

“ Grasping thy true name, I bind thee here. With borrowed name, I dub thee my servant. The name answers, the vessel to sound. I call thee as my divine instrument. The name Rinne, the vessel, Hachi. Come, Rinki. ” 

He gently pushes the glowing character forward, onto the puffball in his hand.

Light bursts out from the small puffball, and the harvest god feels his power pouring into the small thing, watching it rise into the air.

It falls down into his hands in the shape of a small fan, red and black with gold ornamental patterns and slightly tattered edges.

He’s barely able to gather himself before he’s hit by a lifetime of memories that aren’t his. 

He sees the man as a boy being suffocated by family expectations. He sees the man leaving, running away. He sees him living all on his own, working towards his dreams.

He sees how the man worked hard, even if he was failing in his dream. Even while the people around him did nothing to help.

He saw the man, alone, laughing at a piece of paper while sitting on a park bench, trying to forget it all with the sweet taste of alcohol.

The harvest god’s tears continue to fall, as he brings the fan closer to him and holds it tight, sobs wracking his body as he walked away from the street.

—

It isn’t until he’s a great distance away, seated in an empty park on a bench, when he lifts the fan up, sniffling.

“Rinne.”

There’s a flash of light, before there is a man standing before him with bright red hair, bright blue eyes, and a confused look.

The harvest god lifts his hand to rub at his eyes, the last of his tears slowly falling.

The newly-named Rinne turns to stare at him, his eyes widening. He ran forward, his hands raised awkwardly.

“Uh- oh are you okay? You’re crying umm…I don’t know what’s going on but I guess I’m dead and you’re my god? Oh god, please don’t cry- I mean-”

The harvest god laughed, shaking his head. “Sorry, I’m fine~ Just got something in my eye.” He took in a deep breath, before lifting his head up. “Hi Rinne-kun, from now on you’re a shinki under my service. You don’t have to do much but umm…yeah?”

Rinne stared at him, an unreadable expression on his face. “Rinne… That’s my name…”

The harvest god nodded, a bittersweet smile on his face. “Yes, it’s with the kanji for the word phosphorus .”

Rinne grinned. “I kinda like that, it sounds cool. Thanks god-san! Um. Wait-”

He frowned. “What’s your name, god-san?”

The harvest god laughed, shrugging. “I don’t really have one, Rinne-kun. I used to, but it’s been so long that I’ve forgotten it. Everyone always calls me that misfortune god or Fuun-kami or something like that. I am a god of misfortune after all.”

He watched Rinne scrunch his face up, a displeased expression. “What? A god of misfortune, you? No way, you’re too pretty to be a god of misfortune!”

The harvest god is rendered speechless, unable to form a cohesive response.

“In fact, I feel so lucky to be under you, god-san! You gave me a cool name, and I’m also a pretty damn good-looking fan if I do say so myself. I feel like I just won- You’re no god of misfortune, you’re like a goddess of victory!”

“Um. But-” the harvest god tried to interrupt, but Rinne didn’t let him, grabbing his hands with a determined look.

“You’re my goddess of victory. I’m going to call you Niki! In fact, as your shinki I am now making it my duty to find everyone that calls you otherwise and beat their sorry asses!!” He gripped his hands tight, grinning.

The harvest god stammered, trying to pull free. “But- Wait- No, don’t do that! Please don’t make trouble for others!!!”

“Kyahaha~ You gave me a name, so I’m only returning the favor! This is the start of our wonderful partnership, Niki~ I will be the best shinki ever, and you won’t ever regret naming me!”

The harvest god sighed, defeated.

Niki…I could get used to that.

Niki smiled. It did make him feel a little warm, an emptiness that he’s long accepted suddenly being filled.

He got up from the bench, grabbing Rinne’s hand.

“Alright then, it can’t be helped. Come on Rinne-kun, I’ll show you your new home. I was planning on making nikujaga for dinner, would you like some?”

Chapter Text

It’s cold.

He’s just a speck, a floating wisp barely flickering, almost as if a single breeze would blow him out.

He has no thoughts, no feelings. What is he? Who is he? He doesn’t even have a mind to wonder, just a small speck of light flitting up into the sea of souls. Up, up, and away, following the current towards the far shore of reality.

Except as he floats up, something stops him suddenly, enveloping him in light. It’s warm, it’s comforting. Not that he could feel those things.

The thing brings him down, away from the sea that called to him. If he had feelings, he would’ve been able to feel the wetness of tears dripping down, phasing through him.

He can’t hear anything, nothing is seen, nothing is felt, but for some reason, he, who knew nothing of himself, felt warmth.

Warmth washing over him, feelings bursting into him, flooding into his small wisp form, before it exploded out of him in a bright light, the searing feeling of something warm against his chest, over his heart.

Chest…heart…he knew those words…but what did they mean to a small wisp?

Except he wasn’t a small wisp, a small puffball floating in the ether anymore. Now, he opened his eyes to find himself in a dark void, a mist surrounding him.

When previously he had nothing, no thoughts, no emotions, no feeling, now he had everything.

What was he?

Who was he?

Where was he?

Nothing came to mind, no matter how hard he tried to recall anything, just anything.

He was there, alone in the misty void, a searing feeling on his chest.

Except it didn’t hurt, it wasn’t painful. It was strong, but comforting. Familiar, in a way. It made him feel whole, an emotion he couldn’t put a finger on as he clutched his hands over it, wanting to feel more of it. 

He closed his eyes, clinging to that feeling.

The sound of crying surrounds him, echoing around him. The mist condenses, and it’s as if somehow it’s started to rain, water droplets dripping one-by-one, cool against his skin.

He still doesn’t know anything of who he is or what he is, except a deep want to stop that sound, to wipe tears away. 

Wait, what tears? Wasn’t that rain?

His thoughts are a jumbled mess, a strong feeling in his chest, confusion but a want to just do something. But what?

Not everything, but many things suddenly crash into his mind with the utterance of one sound, a soft sound like a bell ringing.

“Rinne.”

The searing feeling on his chest bursts, enveloping his entire body. A bright light illuminates the void, the mist being whisked away.

The answers floated into his being, as he slowly opened his eyes.

What was he?

He was a human, a dead human to be exact. No clue of how he died or what killed him, but he was one-hundred-percent a deceased spirit that didn’t pass on to the far sea of souls as others normally did. Perhaps he had some lingering regret?

Whatever regret he had, though, he did not know. In fact, he knew nothing of himself, only that he was dead.

Who was he?

Well, that was answered by the person that stood in front of him, a man slightly shorter than him with long gray hair tied up by a small red and blue ribbon, a white dress shirt and black pants and tie, and bright blue eyes that were speckled with tears.

He was Rinne, a shinki under the unnamed harvest god.

Except that didn’t sit right with him, how his god seemed to be fine with anything. It hurt, hearing the god laugh lightly, accepting that he was nothing but a god of misfortune.

To have no name…for it to be forgotten, and be fine with that, but still kindly grant the opportunity of a second chance to someone like Rinne, gifting a name when he himself didn’t have one?

Rinne didn’t know much, but he knew that he had to give one back, even if there wasn’t the same amount of power with the name. Heck, the name he was given gave him a literal mind and body, all he could do was give one to make talking easier.

But even if it had nothing of value with it, Rinne didn’t miss the small smile Niki had while they walked.

A smile that he wanted to protect, even if his duty was already to his god. It was one that he wanted to see more of, a warmth in his chest and that soft searing feeling over his heart.

—

Rinne stared around the room, seated at a small dining table. There wasn’t much to look at, no fancy decor or trinkets on shelves.

Well, to be more accurate there wasn’t much to look at- if you didn’t include the large spot on the wall with a tarp duct-taped around what was presumably a giant hole in the wall, a pipe protruding from the ceiling and dripping water into a bucket, and an electrical plug occasionally crackling, sparking a little.

Well this is…I guess you could call this homey?

Rinne really couldn’t complain, not that he wanted to. A home was a home, especially one that his god lived in and invited him into. Maybe that was part of his duty, looking after his god by not only looking after his physical condition, but helping out with the living conditions, too.

As far as Rinne could tell, he was somewhat fit. He could probably gather materials and supplies to fix up everything, maybe it’d make Niki smile brighter.

Niki did tell Rinne to sit tight and wait for the food. Rinne made a mental note to look into fixing the house later, and to investigate the other areas he hasn’t seen yet.

“Sorry, it’ll be ready in a bit! Stove didn’t want to start again, had to give it a few kicks, nahaha~”

Speaking of Niki, the god himself was standing in the kitchen, busy with something in a pot in front of him.

Rinne squinted. “Are you sure you don’t want any help? I mean- I’m your shinki, shouldn’t I be attending to you and not the other way around?”

Niki laughed, shaking his hand and waving him off. “No, no. Maybe for other gods, but I never really cared about that. Hmm… just think of us as friends! Yeah, that’s it~ No need to worry about a friend. You just…I guess stay by my side and live your life how you want- er, second life. Or don’t, if you don’t want to, I can always let you go. No big deal.” Niki laughed, stirring the pot.

That didn’t sit right with Rinne. He was essentially saved, given a second chance and a duty, but then all Niki wanted was him to live how he wanted? No strings attached or repayment needed? 

Rinne rested his cheek on his hand, watching Niki from behind. 

He could tell Niki wouldn’t change his mind, no matter what he tried to say. He sighed, dropping the topic. “So who’s the other person living here? You said he isn’t home often? Is he another shinki of yours?”

“Oh, no no no. Kohaku-chan isn’t a shinki.”

Rinne tilted his head, confused. “A human?”

Niki laughed. “Nope, Kohaku-chan is a fellow god. He’s actually pretty powerful~ You’d never believe it.”

Rinne snorted. “Really? A god with a giant hamster plushie, powerful? What are they- Some kind of kid god?”

Niki glanced back at him. “Nahaha, don’t underestimate him, Rinne-kun. Hm. Since you’re living with us, you should probably be told this before someone else inevitably tells you and a great big mess happens. Kohaku-chan is more known to be a god of calamity, like how I’m the god of misfortune. Birds of a feather flock together~”

“Calamity?”

Rinne felt an familiar feeling bubbling in his chest, a bitter taste in his mouth. This god… is he powerful? He’s probably a big and terrifying guy, haha…

Niki shrugged. “It’s a long story that Kohaku-chan can tell you one day if he feels like it. It’s all in the past though, but just so you know~ Kohaku-chan’s been trying to get his rebrand so please support him when you can!”

Rinne snickered, the image of a big and frightening all-powerful calamity god wearing post office gear and rollerblades in his head. It was rather ridiculous. “I don’t know, Niki~kyun. Sometimes image changes are way too good to be true-”

“And just what do you mean by that?” Another voice piped in from behind Rinne, the sound of the door shutting following.

Rinne turned in his seat, eyes meeting with…nothing that he pictured. A young boy with purple eyes, pink hair, and a green hoodie. He was way shorter than Rinne expected.

“Small.” Rinne started to laugh.

“Huh?”

“Oh my god. Or is that inappropriate? Well you’re saying this tiny pip-squeak is powerful enough to be a god of calamity?” Rinne laughed, getting up from his seat and patting the boy on the head.

Man, gods really do come in all sizes~

“Uhm Rinne-kun, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Niki’s eyes darted back and forth from Rinne to the young boy, Kohaku. Kohaku’s fists were balled up.

“Pffft What can he do? He’s like half my size. If anything, that image change is perfectly doab- ?!” Rinne’s taunt was cut short as all of his breath was expelled from his chest by a punch to the gut, the force sending him flying through the tarp on the wall, out into a mini garden and into a patch of tomatoes.

Rinne can barely register anything, his vision blurry and the squished tomatoes under him. He groaned, his body aching.

A blurry gray blob comes into the corner of his vision, a pink one on the other. The two look down at him collapsed in a patch of destroyed tomato stalks.

With what little consciousness he has left, Rinne can hear Niki grumble. “Kohaku-chan, you could’ve gone easier on him! Now the wall’s busted again. But forget that- My tomatoes!! You know how long it took to get those set up!”

“Sorry Niki-han, but he was asking for it.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to do it!!!!!”

Rinne let out another strangled groan before passing out.

—

Living (is it still called living if he was already dead once?) with Niki is something Rinne slowly gets used to, no day passing without some kind of excitement.

Whether it’s a pipe bursting, a vent popping out of nowhere, an electrical spark starting a fire, or many other things, it certainly is…an experience.

Niki really wasn’t kidding about being extremely unlucky. There was barely any days that would pass without any kind of disaster happening in the home.

But Rinne had nowhere else to go, and honestly, why would he leave? Even more the reason for him to stick with the god that gave him a second chance. When a pipe burst, he fixed it. When the house flooded, he worked with Kohaku and Niki to relay buckets of water out. When ayakashis made a mess of Niki’s crops, he’d beat them up with some incantations that Niki taught him.

And another thing, for some reason, while Niki’s luck was down in the gutter constantly, Rinne’s was actually pretty good? 

When he wasn’t working with Niki in the café, Rinne was out exploring the city (on an allowance that Niki gave to him, which Rinne complained was less than Kohaku’s and since he looks older he should’ve gotten more, at which both Kohaku and Niki stared at him with a deadpan look). 

He’d come to find joy in visiting two places in particular, the pachinkos and the arcades. Both places full of flashing lights, amimated sounds, and highly luck-based.

And his luck…as mentioned before, he’d return home more times winning than losing. Jackpot after jackpot after jackpot, all used to help repair the house and look after his god.

He doesn’t remember anything about his old life, but he feels like he was nowhere near as lucky as he was now. 

Definitely not, if he as he was now was still young and good-looking.

It doesn’t take long for Rinne to warm up to the two gods, one that he was already bound to while the other was cute and small and reminded him of something that he couldn’t figure out.

Niki was an interesting guy, always thinking about food and what to cook. He loved to cook, cook, cook, and surprisingly enough, cooking was the one thing where his horrendous luck didn’t apply.

But he didn’t only love to cook, he also really loved to eat, eyes sparkling at the sight of the snacks Rinne would bring home with his winnings, or excitedly scarfing down an entire meal within 5 minutes after a hard day at work.

It was cute, honestly.

Really, really cute. Everything about this millenia old god was just so cute to Rinne, like a little chinchilla.

Rinne’s attachment to his god only grew larger and larger as they spent more time together, and he couldn’t help but have that initial feeling of unending devotion bloom into actual love.

Love for his god, and wanting to keep that smile on his face. To protect him, and keep him happy.

There’s times he sees Niki staring off into the distance, a hidden sadness. He never says anything about it to Rinne no matter how much he asks, though, laughing and waving him off with a “Nahaha, just reminiscing about the past. Don’t worry about me~”

Rinne only knows little bits and pieces that he’s picked up, like how Niki used to have other shinki and they all left for some stupid reason.

There’s been several occasions at the meetings of the gods at Takamagahara where Niki’s had to drag him out of a fist fight with several of these shinki.

Even while bowing along with Niki to the respective shinki and their gods (dotted with bruises often) Rinne doesn’t regret anything except only that Niki is dragged in to apologize with him.

Niki shouldn’t be bowing to these gods at all, especially from how they treat him. Jerks.

Honestly, if he wasn’t afraid of even more repercussions and Niki taking the blame, Rinne would beat the gods themselves up if he could. But what that would spell for Niki…No, he learns to control his fury and take it all out on the ayakashi they go after on cleaning jobs. 

Rinne just wishes that he would at least depend on him more, lean on him. What good is a shinki if they can’t help their god?

But anyways, he will keep trying, and hopefully one day, Niki will see his affections and finally open up, lean on him for support.

Kohaku is a whole different kind of peculiar, in Rinne’s opinion. From firsthand experience, he definitely knows that this kid is not a kid and is extremely powerful, but it’s still amusing to Rinne how he never seems to grow, still looking like a young teen.

If Niki was like a chinchilla, Kohaku was like…a pink tiny hamster, much like his loved hamster plushie. Small and easy to tease, quick to bite.

Okay, but even if he’s easy to tease, Rinne knows not to take it too far. It only took…six(?) separate occasions of being knocked out cold by an angry kohaku for him to learn not to push the little pink thing’s buttons too much.

But really, who can resist it? Even Niki teases Kohaku, but Niki never gets tossed through the roof! (Okay, barring the fact that Niki is housing and feeding Kohaku but that’s just being unfair, Kohaku~chan!)

Rinne laid on the ground, moments after being thrown over the shoulder by Kohaku for trying to spook him (and succeeding, mind you).

Niki shook his head, staring down at him.

“Rinne-kun, stop provoking Kohaku-chan like that. You already know what’s going to happen.”

Rinne grimaced, sitting up. “I can’t help it Niki~kyun! Seeing him and how small he is- I just wanna tease him. Y’know, like an older bro..ther…” Rinne trailed off, his head starting to hurt.

Niki had a weird expression, that quickly vanished. Kohaku glared at him. “I don’t need an older brother. I already have two older sisters.”

Rinne held his head, still throbbing. “Aww, Kohaku-chan is the baby~ I didn’t know gods could have siblings.”

Niki smiled sadly. “We’re not much different from humans, though. Just with a touch of divinity, and human belief. You have emotions, we have emotions. And etcetra. We’re much more in tune with the far shore and the spirits of this land.”

Kohaku nodded. “Yeah. There’s a lot that you don’t know, Rinne-han. So shut!”

Rinne massaged his temple, sighing. “Okay, but that’s the first I’ve heard of them. Do you not talk with them anymore? Siblings…shouldn’t they be close?”

Kohaku glanced away, averting his gaze, his fists clenched. Rinne spotted Niki give a sad shake of his head, a mouthed ‘ don’t ask’ .

Rinne laughed loudly, startling Kohaku. “Well, to me Kohaku-chan you’re still like a little brother! So what if you’re a trillion years older than me? I’m quite a good big brother, you know? Just ask…” Rinne’s head started to hurt again, pounding. Ask who? Him, a big brother? Where was he getting this from?

“Umm…”

“Me um…you can ask me. Rinne-kun you’re a great big brother I believe you.” Niki quickly interjected, pulling Rinne to his feet.

Kohaku squinted at them. “Niki-han don’t humor him, he’s probably speaking nonsense again.”

Hearing it from Niki was comforting but…all the same not. Rinne sighed. “I don’t know why, I just know I am-”

“Yes, yes. You are. I believe you, and Kohaku-chan, please take Rinne-kun more seriously.” Niki interrupted once more, an odd look of panic in his eyes.

It confused Rinne, but he eventually dropped the topic, none of his questions answered.

There was only one other god that Rinne bothered to (barely) remember the name of. This god was as eccentric as the other two…no, maybe even more eccentric. He didn’t visit often, but since the other two were familiar with him, Rinne eventually let down some of his guard. 

Rinne honestly couldn’t ever tell what Himeru was thinking about, whenever his bright yellow eyes stared deep into him enough to send shivers up his spine.

It was funny, though, seeing his hard gaze soften around Kohaku, the funny faces he’d make when Niki made something that he clearly did not have taste for but had too much pride to admit.

And the small and curt conversations they do have…has answered several of Rinne’s unending questions. Albeit cryptically. Damn bastard never giving him a straight answer.

And that was how it was, the two, three, or four of them depending on ongoing jobs and circumstances, having dinner at the dinner table while rain dripped down on them or wind blew in from a new hole in the wall.

—

“Ni~Ki~~~~ When can we go home?” Rinne whined, dragging his feet as he walked behind Niki.

They were in a park a little far out from their home, the cicadas buzzing loudly and hot summer heat melting Rinne in all his shinki form.

“I’m gonna become a shinki puddle…Can you turn me into fan form and fan with me? Wait- will that even cool me down?”

Niki huffed, grabbing his hand. “No, and I’d rather not open any vents in the middle of a busy city. Come on, we’re almost there~ I heard from Kohaku-chan that the best crepes are sold at a cart in this park!” His eyes sparkled, mouth drooling.

Rinne sighed, endeared. “And why couldn’t we just…teleport there?”

“I used all my energy fixing the broken wall. And it’s not like I have limitless energy, I don’t have any active worshippers.”

“You have me.”

Niki rolled his eyes, laughing. “You don’t count.”

“Yes I do!” Rinne smiled, eyes landing on Niki’s hair. He reached forward.

“Ah, Niki. Your ribbon is loose.” The ribbon that Niki always wore to tie his hair was slipping, the knot having come loose from the walk.

“Oh- Thanks Rinne-kun… Let me fix i-.” Rinne spotted a flash of sadness in Niki’s eyes. He moved faster, carefully pulling Niki close and tying it the way he’s always seen Niki tie it. “No, I’ve got it.”

“...Thank you, Rinne-kun.” Niki smiled at him softly, Rinne’s heart (or what was left of his heart?) skipped a beat.

“You just seem really attached to it, and I thought you wouldn’t want to lose it. Is it that important?” Rinne tilted his head, inspecting the intricate weaving on the ribbon.

Nikk gave him that soft, sad smile that betrayed nothing once more. “Yeah. It was the last gift I received from my last believer.”

Rinne frowned. “But I believe in you still. So that can’t be true.”

Niki laughed forcefully. “You don’t count.”

“Yes I do.”

Rinne didn’t like the sad distant expression still on Niki’s face. He started to run, pulling Niki along.

“Well, as your current and only believer, I’m going to get you a gift! And more! So many more, whatever my god wants~ Don’t you want those crepes?”

Niki laughed for real this time as they ran, but that expression was still there. “Of course I do~ But that still doesn’t mean you don’t count~”

“Well I’m saying I do so I do, and I’m going to keep believing in you!”

“That’s not how it works, Rinne-kun.”

Rinne smiled. “But does that really matter?”

Niki stared at him, wide-eyed. He finally laughed with a smile on his face, shaking his head. “No, you’re right. It really doesn’t.”

Rinne grinned. “That’s right. Now give me a big ol’ smile and I’ll buy you any of the crepes you ask for Niki~kyun! As your most devoted believer you deserve an offering of everything you want~”

“And what if I ask for the whole menu?”

“Then I’ll buy you some now and some at a later time!”

—

Blight is a shinki’s worst fear, physical manifestation of punishment for committing sins or breaking the laws of the natural and spiritual world that allow the divinity to give second chances. Especially the taboo of finding about one’s past when already given a new future.

It’s something that all shinki wish never to inflict upon their gods. It is an excruciating pain for both shinki and god, and can lead to death or something even worse for both.

Rinne never ever ever ever ever wants to hurt Niki.

But what is he supposed to do, when a boy, with the same colored hair, same colored eyes, and a familiar determined gaze, is staring right at him with his hand gripping Rinne’s arm.

“Nii-san??”

It’s enough to make his head start to pound, an itchy feeling on his back as his mind starts to spin. Confusion and pain and confusion and pain and-

Niki is next to them, an unreadable expression and a grimace of pain. He grabbed Rinne pulling him away from the younger boy.

“I’m so sorry, I think you have the wrong person.” Niki started to make signs with his free hand.

The boy blinked at them, doubtful. “Huh? But-”

“You have the wrong person. I’m so sorry.” Niki muttered again, a light glowing around the boy. His eyes fogged for a second, before clearing up. He laughed, scratching the back of his neck.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, mistook you for someone. I’m so sorry.” He bowed to them.

Rinne noticed how pale Niki looked. He frowned. Was something wrong?

“Niki-”

“No worries, nahaha. We all make mistakes! Come on now Rinne-kun, Kohaku-chan is waiting for us to make dinner!” Niki pulled him away before he could question it, the itchy feeling on his back not going away.

Rinne stared down at where Niki pulled his hand, walking briskly home.

“I wonder if we have enough meat at home for sukiyaki, I’ve been in the mood for it.”

“Niki.”

“Hmm but maybe we should stop by the store before getting home I think we’re running out of mirin.”

“Niki.”

“Oh, and I can also get more bread for sandwiches-”

“Niki!” Rinne pulled on Niki’s hand, stopping them.

Niki stopped walking, not turning around.

“Niki, what was that about?”

Niki didn’t respond. The itchy feeling on Rinne’s back itched more.

“Niki-”

“Nothing that you need to worry about, Rinne-kun. It’s taken care of. You’re better off not knowing.” Niki replied, still staring away from him.

“I- What? Niki, I’d understand if this is something about your past but he- he called me Nii-san-”

“Like i said, nothing you need to worry about Rinne-kun. Everyone makes mistakes. Even I mistook someone as Kohaku-chan the other day.” 

“But-”

Niki continued, his grip on Rinne’d hand tighter. “And I’m serious, please believe me. You don’t need to know anything about it. Please.”

Rinne frowned. Once again, Niki was shouldering so much hidden trouble onto his own shoulders, refusing to let Rinne at least help.

“But whatever it is, I can at least help?”

“No, no you can’t. Forget about it, Rinne-kun.” Another pained smile that made Rinne’s heart ache.

“But why not?”

“You just can’t.”

“But-”

Niki stopped him. “This conversation is over, I’m sorry. Rinki! ”

And before Rinne knew it, he was back in his folded fan form, tucked away as Niki ran back home in silence.

If only he could forget. He really, really tried. The way Niki looked…he knew he had to forget, move on.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t move on from those eyes so much like his, hair bright and fiery like his.

Each passing day, his mind fell into more and more turmoil. The itchiness all over his back, an uneasy feeling in him.

Who was he? Where was he from? Where was his family? Did he even have family?

…

Rinne was dead, right? How did he die?

Slowly, these questions about himself started piling up and up and up, taking over his mind.

But the itchiness isn’t rhe worst part, no. Nor are the questions he just can’t get a damn answer to.

No, it’s how Niki’s condition worsens for each day too. As if his questioning…was draining him of his life. There was no way…right? 

But he still insisted on working the cafe, cooking dinner, smiling weakly with bags under his eyes and insisting everything was okay, he was just feeling a little sick.

It’s not until Kohaku and Himeru force Niki to bed and corner Rinne that he learns what’s really wrong.

Niki breathed heavily under the covers, covered in ugly purple rashes dotting his body.

Rashes that matched some that have been appearing on Rinne, too.

Rinne stumbled over, falling to his knees.

“Niki…? Is this my fault?” He gasped, shaking. He reached out to grab Niki’s hand, shakily squeezing.

Niki could barely move, evidently in so much pain. He reallt was hiding just how bad his condition was.

Himeru narrowed his eyes, arms crossed. “Have you committed any sins?”

Rinne glanced back at the god, teary-eyed. “Sins?”

“Things that you have a guilty conscience for, that you believe are wrong, Or breaking the shinki rules.”

“Shinki rules?”

Himeru nudged Kohaku, who was wringing a towel of water that steamed against Niki’s rashes. “Did Shiina never explain the rules?”

Kohaku froze. He shook his head. “No, not from what I’ve heard.”

Himeru turned back to him. “A shinki is granted life by their god. When a shinki is under extreme turmoil, whether it be through sins or breaking the rules, that is reflected on the god.”

“The rules being?”

“One given a second life must never look back to the past. Even if small, just one small thing will snowball into a big thing. As you’ve probably learned.”

Rinne stared down at the floor. “So it is my fault,” he whispered, heart shattering.

He never never never wanted this to happen. “See it however you want. Himeru will go get us some more holy spring water. Make sure he doesn’t try to move. Come, Oukawa.”

Rinne stared at his god, his eyes scrunched in pain. “Is there anything I can do?” He mumbled.

“...Oukawa might have a solution for you.” Himeru walked out.

Kohaku sighed, handing Rinne the towel. “...As much as I hate it, and I know Niki-han will hate it, he’s right. Rinne-han, come see me if you’re willing to give everything up for him. But…this is really a last-resort. Please think about it.” Kohaku walked out after Himeru, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Rinne leaned over, rubbing the blight marks with the towel, listening to the hiss as the holy spring water alleviated some of the pain.

“Rinne…kun?” Niki slowly blinked opened his eyes.

“Niki…I’m sorry.”

Niki smiled, in pain. “Nahaha…no…I’m sorry, you Kohaku-chan…Himeru…I’m causing so much trouble…once again…”

Rinne shook his head, tears falling. His own blight itched so much. “No, I’m sorry for being an awful shinki. I did this to you. It’s my fault.”

Niki shakily lifted a hand, wiping Rinne’s tears. “No, don’t apologize. It’s…It’s not your fault at all, Rinne-kun. I don’t blame you at all.”

“But it is!”

Niki smiled, lowering his hand and slowly starting to make signs. “I’m the one…that took your gentle, kind soul and made you my shinki without ever giving you a choice. I’m sorry….please, don’t cry.”

Rinne’s eyes widened as he realized what Niki was tracing into the air slowly was his name, the start of the shinki release process. He lunged forward, stopping his hand. He stared at Rinne through a pained grimace.

“No…No, Niki. Don’t release me. I don’t dislike it at all, I’m so, so happy that you gave me a second chance at life. And…” Rinne carefully squeezed Niki’s hand.

“I’m not going to let you be alone anymore. Even if Kohaku-chan and Merumeru are around sometimes, you were alone before me, weren’t you? Niki…stay here.”

Rinne’s mind wandered back to what Kohaku had told him before leaving.

Give up everything ?

As if he ever had to think about that.

“Rinne-kun?” Niki mumbled.

Rinne leaned over, leaving a light kiss on Niki’s hand. “Stay here. I’ll fix this. This is all my fault for not listening to your warnings, for being an awful shinki. I’ll fix this, don’t worry, just rest.” Rinne whispered, watching as Niki drifted off to sleep.

Rinne backed up, quietly exiting the room. Kohaku stood outside, waiting for him. He held a dagger in his hand.

“Have you made up your mind?”

Rinne smiled, nodding. “Hey, Kohaku-chan. Could you do me a favor?”

—

Niki blinked his eyes open, finding himself in bed, with no shirt, and a shinki (his) asleep in the chair next to him, gripping his hand.

Niki stared, admiring how the sunlight seemed to make Rinne’s hair flicker like a flame. Hold on. He was getting distracted.

Niki slowly sat up, aching all over. He looked down at his body. All signs of his blight were gone.

Ah yeah. Stupid me. Everyone found out.

He recalled collapsing being brought to bed, and being chewed out by Kohaku and Himeru. And then…everything else was a blur. He just knew it hurt so much.

Niki tried to think. Has he ever been blighted before? He closed his eyes, trying to dig up old memories.

Interestingly, no. What an unpleasant first-time experience.

But…how is it gone? Did they perform an ablution on Rinne-kun?

Niki frowned.

How would that work if Rinne-kun technically hasn’t done anything wrong? What…

What did they do?

Niki, sighed, confused. He winced, his entire body still aching.

Rinne stirred, slowly opening his eyes. His blue eyes lit up excitedly, grabbing Niki in a big hug. “Niki!”

“Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow too rough too rough Rinne-kun too rough-”

“Niki you’re okay…Niki…” Rinne adjusted his hold, burying his face into Niki’s shoulder. Niki patted him on the back, nodding.

“Yeah…I am nahaha-owch.” Niki winced.

“Sorry, sorry.”

“About that…Rinne-kun, what did you do?”

Rinne nuzzled him. “Huh?”

“What did you guys do to heal the blight? Normally an ablution only works when a shinki commits sins. And even then, it’ll be so painful even I will feel something.” Niki muttered.

Rinne stopped nuzzling him, pulling back. “Huh?”

“What?”

Rinne squinted, and shrugged. “Dunno. It was all Merumeru and Kohaku-chan. My memory’s also hazy, I just remember them doing some towel thing to you.”

Niki shook his head “No, no no, that’s just a temporary way to alleviate the pain though… And wouldn’t explain why the blight is gone from you if it was caused by-”

Niki froze, seeing how confused Rinne looked. And if that started the blight…It was better that he didn’t explain “Ah nevermind. Ow ow ow ow you’re squeezing again.”

Niki tries to ask Himeru and Kohaku, but they either avoid the topic or just give a shake of the head. It frustrates him to no end, causing so much trouble for all of them.

Stupid Stupid luck. Niki grumbled, kicking a pebble as he walked alone. Rinne and Kohaku were out at an arcade, and Niki decided to step out to wait for them, run some errands.

Really…Just my luck that we ended up running into Rinne-kun’s actual brother. What are the odds?!

Niki kicked another pebble. What was I supposed to do? And it’s not like I could stop him from getting curious…Even I’d think constantly about it if something like that happened to me.

Niki’s mind wandered way back to one of his first shinki, a vague memory of a soft smile and light blue eyes that laughed and held the tiny him up.

He sighed.

It really is cruel, to be a shinki.

Niki looked up, finding himself at a music shop. He walked in, the bell ringing.

Niki looked up at the front display, a guitar riff playing. The featured idol unit was a group based off of playing card suits-themed soldiers, one for each soldier.

There was something familiar about the leader, a determined look and bright blue eyes.

Niki smiled sadly.

They really are brothers, no doubt.

He remembered when Rinne’s memories flooded his mind, how Rinne had pledged to love and protect him until the day he died, how he had sneaked away after tucking him in and whispering a sorry, how…

Nevermind, no use remembering. He was getting distracted, and Rinne and Kohaku would be done anytime soon.

Niki walked past that and several of the aisles with the more popular idol groups, all the way to the back corner of small lesser-known soloists and duos. He browsed through the alphabetized shelves, frowning.

Huh? Rinne-kun isn’t here? Are they just sold out?

Niki found an employee, asking if they had what he was looking for.

“...Who? I’m sorry, I’ve never heard that name. You could probably check some other stores? If he’s not really well known, there’s always a chance we might not have him.”

There was a sinking feeling in Niki’s stomach as he thanked the employee. Ironically after Rinne’s death, his talent was exposed to more people as the news of his sudden passing was reported. Even though time has passed, it would still make sense for stores to stock his albums.

Heck, it made Niki frustrated seeing just how popular Rinne got after his death, like his wish was granted in the worst way possible. All thanks once again to Niki’s awful awful luck.

But back to the present, Niki was once again met with similar responses as he checked store to store, increasingly becoming panicked. 

A search online revealed nothing, only redirecting him to the little brother with the same last name, Hiiro. He couldn’t even find any of the past trending articles of his sudden death, fan posts, anything!

Niki’s panic grows and grows as he ran home, quickly texting Rinne that he was going to go on ahead and meet them at home. He slammed the door open, ran up the stairs, slid into his room. He muttered a few words, using some of his power to reveal a hidden safe.

He unlocked the safe, pulling out a basket of mementos. Albums, posters, ticket stubs, and all kinds of merchandise, all that he bought to try to help boost Rinne’s sales when he was alive.

Except.

Niki’s blood ran cold, seeing an unfamiliar man featured on all of them, one he’s never seen before.

“What’s going on…No…No , it can’t be-” Niki clapped his hands together, mumbling, focusing. Thinking of messy red hair, blue eyes. With a snap, he found himself in a park. He spotted the redhead sitting on a bench next to a boy with blond hair, someone from the same unit.

Niki mumbled a quick disguise incantation under his breath, before walking forward. He waved. “Hello, are you Hiiro?”

Hiiro looked up from where he was talking with the other boy. He looked at the other boy, and then back at Niki. “Hiiro-kun, is it a fan? You have to say hi~”

Hiiro stood up, bowing. “Yes! I’m Hiiro! Hiiro-” The other boy quickly covered Hiiro’s mouth.

“Don’t give them your last name stupid we debuted only with our first names!” He released Hiiro.

“Just Hiiro! I’m…the leader of the rising highschool idol group Alkaloid!”

“Hiiro-kun, if he was a fan he’d already know that…”

“Oh…”

Niki laughed a little, watching them bicker.

“No, no. Though I do like your style, good luck! I wanted to ask, are you still looking for your older brother?”

Hiiro stared straight through him, head tilted in confusion.

Niki’s heart sunk.

“Brother? What brother? I have no siblings, I’m an only child?”

Niki stumbled back, staring down at the ground. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Niki dropped his form, stumbling back away from the two of them, disoriented.

“Yeah, Hiiro-kun- Wait, who were we talking to?”

“Oh someone who was just asking for directions- Huh? Wait, what were we doing?”

The blond-haired boy stomped his feet. “That’s my question! Ow, my head hurts.”

“Hahaha mine too. Let’s go get those lemon crepes, Aira! Maybe we’re just hungry!”

Niki wobbled, steadying himself against a tree.

No.

No, it can’t be.

Not being able to find anything on Rinne when he was alive, Niki’s own secret stash all replaced by some random, even his own brother that was clearly looking for him, insisting that he was an only child.

No- I have to…I have to get Kohaku-chan to spit it out.

Niki ran home once more, slamming the door open. Kohaku and Rinne sat in the living room, building a pyramid out of the plushies they won from the arcade.

“Niki~kyun? What’s wrong, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“I need to talk with Kohaku-chan. Now.”

Kohaku squinted. “But we’re busy.”

“Please.”

Kohaku sighed, shoving the stuffed tiger he was holding into Rinne’s hands. “Okay.”

“Do I get to listen?” Rinne watched, a worried look on his face.

Niki shook his head. “No, it’s just stuff between gods. Come on Kohaku-chan, let’s go somewhere private. Ummm… Rinne-kun, have the table ready by the time we get back.”

Niki grabbed Kohaku’s hand, before mumbling and snapping, whisking them away back to his small abandoned shrine, nestled in the city.

Niki steadied himself against it, wobbling. Kohaku caught him, frowning. “You’ve been using a lot of energy today, Niki-han. What’s up.”

“Kohaku-chan, I know for some reason you and Himeru-kun are hiding it, but I can’t take it. What did you and Rinne-kun do to cure the blight?” Niki cried, fidgeting with the ribbon tying his hair together.

Kohaku stared down at the floor.

“Kohaku-chan, please. I know you know. I just…”

“You’re only asking this much because you have a feeling you already know what he’s done?” Kohaku mumbled silently, taking a seat on the shrine’s steps.

Niki nodded, sniffling. “Yeah. I tried to check in on his status, checked my stash, and even found the brother.”

Kohaku sighed, kicking his feet back and forth. “Why do you have to ask me if you already had the means to figure it out?”

“I just want confirmation…” Niki sat down next to him, still fidgeting with the ribbon.

“...Yes. I did. At Rinne-han’s request, I completely cut all of his ties to anything in the near shore. As far as the world knows, there never was a Rinne-han.”

Niki wiped at his eyes, trembling. “...Couldn’t you say no? I’m sure even he knew what that meant-”

“And just let you die? You already know very well there was no other way. ”

Niki laughed, sniffling. “I’m a god, Kohaku-chan. We both are. We’re manifestations of human ideals, the things that they worship. I’ll be reincarnated eventually, as long as what I stand for still exists. And even in the case that I’m not reincarnated, he’ll still have finally been able to pass on to the far shore like he was supposed to.” Niki moved from fidgeting with his hair, to pulling on the hem of his shirt.

Kohaku frowned. “Isn’t it more likely that you don’t? You have no followers, your shrines have been all destroyed, no one believes in you except to pray against you. You’re always low on spiritual power, and have to ration it all the time. Even the gods up in that stupid place called heaven have forgotten you.”

“Nahaha, then that’s just one more useless excuse of a god disappearing. No one would care or have to worry, and misfortune will be gone.” Niki smiled, calming down.

Kohaku stared at him. He blinked once, then twice. “Niki-han, are you stupid?”

“Eh? That’s not really a nice thing to ask, Kohaku-chan-”

“Niki-han, in all honest respect, will you shut up and listen. I would care. Himeru-han would care, even if he doesn’t say anything. He helped us get the hot spring water for your bath treatments, you know? But not only us…”

Kohaku glanced at Niki’s hair ribbon. “Rinne-han would care. Your shinki, the one most devoted to you. He loves you, you know? Would give up everything… has given up everything for you.”

Niki laughed awkwardly, leaning back. “It’s not love- It’s more like he didn’t have a choice. For…me…he has this belief that because he’s my shinki he needs to do everything for me but really… just want him to live happy-”

Kohaku groaned. “Even if he had a choice, even if there was another way, he still would do it. In a heartbeat. Niki-han, do you understand that?”

“I-”

Kohaku continued relentlessly. “Do you think he didnt know what he was doing? Rinne-han is a bastard. An annoying jerk that always runs his mouth and messes around. But hes not stupid.”

Niki went silent, unable to respond. He gripped the hem of his shirt tighter.

“Do you want to know what I saw in his eyes when he told me his request? What came with his “Hey, Kohaku-chan. Could you do me a favor?” Resolve. No regrets at all. He was ready to give it all up, without any doubts.”

“...But Rinne-kun worked so hard to get where he was…and now it’s all gone…” Niki whispered, tears brimming again.

“Niki-han, he didnt want to lose you. He gave up everything, his own complete existence, what legacy he had left in the near shore… His own kin knowing of him. That’s  how much he loves you. Doesnt that speak enough volume to how much he cares for you? He gave up the past, so that he could keep you, his present and future, happy.”

Niki stayed silent, staring down at the ground.

Kohaku sighed, shaking his head. “What’s done is done, Niki-han. There’s no going back. Don’t blame yourself, you didnt do anything wrong at all. But… you should maybe respond to him more in kind… you know what hes given up for you.”

Niki nodded, wiping away silent tears.

Kohaku smiled sadly. “To him, youre no god of misfortune. To him, you’re his most cherished person.”

—

Despite what everyone tells him, Niki still blamed himself. It wasn’t as simple as accepting that things weren’t your fault, when they clearly were, after all.

To at least give his mind some respite…Kohaku gladly agreed to keeping an eye on Rinne’s brother for Niki. If anything, he’d make sure Rinne’s brother was safe and well, something he had a feeling Rinne would want.

While all of Niki’s old Rinne albums were wiped from the world, he’d replaced his stash with things of the brother, hoping to at least help a little.

He even got the other three to start listening to the group’s, playing it often.

Speaking of Rinne…there would be times Rinne would sing along, laughing and bright, shining like the star he was never allowed to be. Niki could only smile bittersweetly, loving that voice with all his heart, that only he’d ever be able to listen to now.

And as of what Kohaku talked about with him…he does slowly start to open up more to Rinne’s advances, responding in kind. Finding comfort in the embraces, laughing at the ticklish nuzzles, just enjoying the time he spends with his shinki.

It fills him with a warm feeling, enough to distract him away from the piling amount of guilt in him, things he had no choice but to keep to himself.

Was that nice and warm feeling love?

Maybe it was, that very same kind of love that Rinne constantly surrounded him in, never failing to make him smile with his dumb antics.

—

Niki’s mind is racing again, thoughts spinning out of control. Of all his failures, of the people he’s disappointed, the trouble he’s caused, his self-exile from heaven- Familiar warm arms wrap around him, holding him close in their shared futon.

“What’s wrong?” Rinne nuzzled him, gently playing with his hair.

Niki breathed in deeply, burying his face into Rinne’s shoulder. “Mph”

“Wanna talk about it?” Rinne whispered.

“...Can’t.” He can’t. He still won’t. Even if it won’t start up anything because as far as the world and everyone else knows, Rinne never existed in the near shore, he still just can’t .

“...Wanna cuddle instead?”

Niki nodded, and Rinne moved them into a more comfortable position, nuzzling him softly. Niki breathed in, calming down.

“You know I’m here for you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“...You don’t need to tell me anything at all, but just know you can depend on me, okay?”

Niki smiled, reaching up to wrap his arms around Rinne. “Thank you, Rinne-kun. It’s just… a lot.”

“Maybe little by little at a time will help?”

Niki laughed as rinne nuzzled him, tickling his neck. “Maybe. But…I really am sorry, Rinne-kun. There’s many things I can’t tell you. But…thank you. Thank you for everything, and for always being here for me.”

Rinne smiled. “Of course. I’m your shinki. What kind of shinki would I be if I wasn’t?”

Niki laughed. “A pretty bad shinki. And an awful lover.”

Rinne grinned. “But I’m the best~”

“Nahaha, yes you are~” Niki leaned into his arms, kissing him. When he pulled back, he almost laughed at how happy Rinne looked.

“Can we have another?”

“Why do you need to ask?”

Rinne pretended to think for a moment. “I don’t know, maybe because some guy took a really long time before finally realizing my love proclamations were real and not just out of obligation?”

Niki laughed, leaning back in. “Well, if you live for as long as me, sometimes you miss the smallest things.”

“It was not small at all! My love for you is huge! Massive! As big as Merumeru’s stash of weirdly expensive artifacts and artwork!”

“Weird as hell comparison, but I’ll take your word for it.” Niki smiled, going in for more.

It may take centuries, millenia, but maybe he will one day open up more, finally dump everything he’s been holding onto. But for now, he’ll be happy. He’ll enjoy getting through his unlucky days with his shinki, enjoying dinner around the table with his small and weird band of misfit gods (and one shinki that he’s come to love dearly).

—

Niki wiped the bread display case, humming to himself one of Rinne’s old songs. Rinne sat behind the counter, yawning and building a tower out of cards. The door at the front chimed, someone walking into the cafe.

“And…ah, there he is. Niki-han. Umm. I have a problem.” Kohaku looked around awkwardly.

Niki set his rag down. “Problem?”

“Uh. Do you know anything about…half spirits?” Kohaku glanced back at the door.

“No…? What are you talking about.”

“Kohaku-chan, kyahaha, did you bring home a wild beast or something? Why does it smell like ayakashi?”

“Well…” Kohaku peeked his head back out the door. “You can come in, Rabu-han.”

The door opened, and Niki’s eyes widened. A familiar boy with blond hair, a highschool uniform…and…a light green tail swishing around.

“Oh no. Is that a half-phantom? Kohaku-chan, what have you done?!” Niki gaped. And it was the one always with Hiiro, too! Niki’s thankful it wasn’t Hiiro, he doesn’t know what’d happen if it was Hiiro.

“I don’t know! He just jumped in front of a truck to try to save me? And I went to check on him and his spirit just, left his body like that? He’s not dead, but he’s unconscious back in the hospital.”

The boy, startled, shrunk back. “Umm. Hi. I’m-”

Rinne slammed his hands in the counter. “I recognize you! You’re one of those idols in that group Niki always listens to! Um…The little yellow one!”

“Aira….Shiratori…” The boy squeaked, eyes darting back and forth.

Niki covered his face, groaning. “I’m going to see if Himeru-kun has any input on this. You all sit tight. Rinne-kun, stop scaring him and go make him some tea.”