Archive of Our Own ^beta

Aziraphale wished so badly that he could see. Not just for practical reasons—it was so inconvenient, trying to move around in the dark like this—but also because he so desperately wished to see the body in front of him.

But it wasn't meant to be. They could do this because they couldn't see each other; he could pretend that he had no idea that it was Crowley's mouth on his cock, that it was Crowley's tongue wrapped around him; that it was Crowley's fingers digging into his thighs. Never mind that it was so clearly a snake's tongue on him, it couldn't be anyone else—but that was something that could stay between the two of them.

Having to pretend didn't stop him from imagining that he could see his face clearly below him, instead of the hints of a silhouette.

"Cr—Sir, you're—very good with your tongue."

Crowley said nothing in response, unsurprisingly. But he did hum in satisfaction, and the sound and feeling were enough to make Aziraphale shiver. This wasn't the first time they had had an encounter like this, and so Crowley knew from a large amount of experience how Aziraphale most liked being sucked off, to say nothing about other forms of pleasure.

But it was a bittersweet pleasure every time, and this was no different: he would have the physical pleasure of orgasm, yes, and the emotional pleasure of being close to Crowley; but he would also have the stinging pain of knowing that it was always temporary. They could have this only if they pretended to be strangers in the process, if they went their separate ways afterward, if they pretended it had never happened later.

Aziraphale grabbed Crowley's hair and thrust himself further into his mouth. If this was the only way they could be closer together, then so be it. He could hear Crowley moan in response—Aziraphale wondered if he was getting himself off too. He hoped he was, though ultimately it was mere speculation. They would finish this and then immediately separate.

Heat pooled in Aziraphale's cock as Crowley continued to bob at it. He could feel that he was getting close. "I'm about to—"

One of Crowley's hands squeezed Aziraphale's thigh. So he wanted it in his mouth this time.

Soon, Aziraphale came, feeling the warmth of his own spend in Crowley's mouth. He could feel Crowley take one last lick of his cock before neatly swallowing.

"Did you like that...sir?" Crowley asked in a low voice.

"Oh, yes, dear boy. You were—it was wonderful."

Aziraphale knew he needed to leave, before plausible deniability became implausible. But he wanted to stay. He wanted to take this understanding they'd developed and expose it to the light.

But that light would only destroy them both if they entered it now. He knew, though, that there would come a time when it wouldn't—they just had to wait until it arrived.