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Have you ever wondered how your life as a kid was?
If you were a happy, content kid; a kid who enjoyed their life; a child who had absolutely zero problems; someone who had a good life - something great, joyful, enjoyable?
Because I have. It’s always nagged me in the back of my mind: How come I can’t remember anything? Can other people remember their childhood?
I don’t get people that say they remember things from before the age of 10. How they can remember small details of their life, shit like: who their teacher was back in primary school, knowledge of whatever the fuck was taught during those classes - which, maybe they did learn something, but still! - and still use it today, so on and so on.
I don’t get it. Then again, I’ve been told I never do.
Y’know, moving away from childhood shit, sometimes people remember things they did from two days ago: what they wore, what they ate, how they felt, yada yada. It always makes me feel weird - and not in a good way - afterwards. Like a sinking feeling in my stomach. That shit sucks.
People say I’m “different”. I ask, “Different how?” and they reply with “I don’t know, you just are.” They never explain afterwards.
I’ve just come to the realization that I’m not normal; never will be, apparently.
“Normal” people don’t have… gaps in their memory. As in: one minute you’re doing a completely mundane ask, like drawing for instance, and the next you’re in your night-classes.
“Normal” people don’t have different voices in their head - and, no, it’s not just one, it’s multiple: two; three; four, even. Apparently it’s also not “normal” to be able to distinguish the voices. It’s not “in the regular human psyche”, according to Mafuyu, damn her immense knowledge of stupid nonsense, to be able to talk to these voices - people? - on a daily basis.
Also, apparently its “uncommon” to switch moods in the span of three seconds, but I digress.
Anyways, Niigo - yes, all of them - made me buy a diary for whatever reason. I don’t know if I’ll remember to keep up with everything, but I’ll sure as hell try. (Maybe.)
Mafuyu told me something about “tracking who’s talking”, which, first of all, how does he know so much about this? And secondly, what?
Obviously, I asked him about it. Fucker only replied with a shrug.
So, yeah. Here I am. I don’t know how well this’ll go, or even if I’ll keep up with this, but I’ll try. For Niigo and maybe mostly Mafuyu, I guess.
Signing off, Ena
(?am I doing this right)