Chapter 1: Mirror Man
Chapter Text
The first day was the hardest. It all started with the video of Destiny's birth. It went viral in less than an hour. By the time Stiles reached Bogotà, every news crew in a fifty mile radius was waiting for him and Destiny at the hospital. He was never more thankful in his life to have Derek and Jesus by his side. He couldn’t have asked for more capable bodyguards. While Stiles took his time recovering, Jesus and Derek made sure Destiny’s papers were in order. They wanted her to come home with no complications. Sadly, that was only half the battle.
Back in America, Wilson was having a PR nightmare. Everyone wanted the story and he didn’t have one to give. His star reporter was in another country with all of the information. He trusted Stiles not to utter a word to the foreign press; if Stiles wanted to keep all his teeth that is.
Stiles enjoyed being pampered. He was being spoiled rotten be everyone. The true gift though, was finally being able to hold his little girl. He cried the first day. She was worth it, she was so worth it. Destiny had large, rosy cheeks that complemented the dark hair on top of her head. He would shower her with kisses when she allowed him. Destiny was only a day old, but Stiles could tell she was going to be a diva.
The second day he only cried in the morning. Stiles couldn’t believe she was there with him. He could finally see her face and stare into her beautiful green eyes. Stiles always wondered what it would be like to have his little girl with him. It had only been a day and he knew he would give his life for her.
—
Destiny, for the most part, was extremely relaxed. She loved the wet nurse the most, but there was something about this father person. Not the one who was always holding her, the other one. His voice had a low hum and drew her end. He said he was her father.
—
Derek and Stiles used Destiny as an excuse for avoiding the most important conversation, Destiny being there at all. Two days had already passed, which left plenty of time to even mention the subject. Stiles was purposely avoiding it and Derek didn’t know how to bring it up. And while the journalist never left Stiles’ side, the words between them were sparse.
On the third day, John Stilinski flew in and was escorted with a new bodyguard for Stiles and Destiny. John walked towards his granddaughter without a word to either parents. She laid in the wet nurse’s arms, sound asleep. In his hand, was a small bunny plush he had picked up at the airport.
"Hey there.” he said softly to the sleeping infant. "You are such a beautiful angel.” The nurse placed Destiny in her grandfather’s care. It had been a long while since there had been a baby in his arms. He couldn’t be furious while holding a sweet child. [b]”Stiles Primrose Stilinski.”[/b] Derek released a low snort at the mention of the reporter’s middle name. " When you’re able to get out that hospital bed, you better pray to god I don’t put you back in it."
The reporter sunk low into his bed, giving Derek a sideways glance. Somehow, it completely slipped his mind that he faked a miscarriage. No one in their right mind would forget doing something so extreme, but this was Stiles. He cleared his throat. "Dad. I know…this seems bad but I…” John turned from his son swiftly. He made sure not to disturb Destiny. "Don’t wanna hear it." John replied curtly.
That would go on for the next two days. John was having a hard time forgiving Stiles for something so drastic. He also hadn’t had a conversation with Derek. He was convinced the journalist was in on it. The gang was preparing for the long journey home. America was hungry for the arrival of Destiny Ann Stilinski.
—
A week after her birth, little Destiny was wheeled out of the hospital. She was swaddled tight and already interested in the outside word. Sun for the first time was brutal, but it was nice with the daddy guy held her close to his chest. He blocked out the sun and his heart beat made her feel safe.
—
Police officers lined the entrance to the hospital. They formed a blockade to keep reporters and fans alike from reaching the inside party. Stiles didn’t think he was that much of a big deal. Of course much of the crowd came from the US.
Derek had arranged the family to fly first class. Privacy was the number one concern for Stiles and Destiny. Once everyone had settled in their seats, the baby made a little fuss and was passed on to the wet nurse. John and Jesus caught-up in one pair of seats while Derek and Stiles were placed together.
The journalist stared out the window, watching mountains turn into countrysides which eventually became a blanked of clouds. Stiles had set up his laptop and was looking through numerous emails he missed over the pass few months.
Being the eldest of the two, Derek thought it was his responsibility to start the conversation. "Stiles we should talk.” He gave the reporter his full attention as the other clacked away on the keyboard. The older man sighed before lowering the screen. ”Stiles.” he repeated again. The younger man blew hot air upwards, fogging up his glasses.
"Ok… ok, ok , ok. Yes I have been avoiding this but only because I don’t have an explanation. I can’t tell you why I did what I did. Just, everything was happening so fast and I felt like I just didn’t have control anymore. My life had become this awkward soap opera and I didn’t want to bring my daughter into it so then Jesus just said we should leave for awhile after I faked the miscarriage, because I didn’t think it was fair to you that you had been forced into this when I was trying to keep it a secret and it was my fault for not telling you when I found out and all that stupid shit during Christmas and I just…”
"Stiles breathe!” Derek laughed out. He really shouldn’t be laughing, not with the younger man basically pouring his heart out. "I can’t keep up with all that.” The reporter chewed on his bottom lip. He inhaled and exhaled several times. Planes made him nervous. "I just can’t stop thinking about the pilot being drunk or having sex with the stewardess and we fly into a storm and oh my fucking god Destiny would be strapped into the car seat and we’re ejected from the plane and she’ll still be in there around sharks and oh my god Derek! Sharks can eat our daughter!”
He had worked himself into light tears which caused mild alarm in Jesus. He glared at Derek and flicked him off. It wasn’t even his fault that Stiles was crying! "Stiles, just calm down. We’re fine ok? If you want, we can call the pilot in here to prove…”
"WHY WOULD YOU BRING THE PILOT IN HERE WHEN HE SHOULD BE DRIVING THE PLANE!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Derek leaned into the window as Jesus and John simintaniously stood up and gathered Stiles. The Columbian sat in now vacant seat and crossed his legs. Stiles may have been the one to have the baby, but Jesus looked like absolute hell. He had a 5 o’clock shadow, bags under his eyes, and legs that were in a desperate need of a good shave.
"Look here Hale.” He began, using his usual deep voice. "Mi papa is having a hard time right now. And joo, joo are not helping. I says we should have left joo in Bogotà but no, Stiles says you can come. And here joo are, causing shit storms.”
The journalist snorted. "Alright Jesus, here’s the bottom line so listen carefully. You and Stiles lied to me and almost everyone. Destiny is MY daughter and I have every right to be in her life. So whether you like it or not, you’re going to a lot of me around.”
"Oh honey, that’s going to be a little bit hard with joo in California. Hrm? Or are joo just going to up and move to New York? Now here’s my bottom line…” The Columbian stood tall, getting ready to comfort his friend. "You fuck up, take one step out of line, and I will fucking castrate you personally. My family has a rusty machete back from the civil wars. It’s been with me for a very, very long time. I will use it andfeed your balls to the fish in Central Park.” His lips curled into a condescending smile that had Derek crossing his own legs, tightly.
Once Jesus waltzed away, the journalist released a shaky exhale. "Well, I think that means he likes you.” John nodded, filing the empty seat once again.
"I feel like Scrooge being visited by the ghost of Christmas past…” Derek sighed.
"Yeah, let’s never mention Christmas again.” John suggested while the younger man nodded in agreement.
Derek shifted in his seat. He felt like everything was already off to a bad start. "About Stiles, I didn’t mean to make him upset.” The sheriff chuckled and pulled out The New Yorker.
"Stiles has always been afraid of flying. He’s usually good at putting on a tough face, but I guess all the hormones have him jumbled right now. Don’t worry about it. Give him a week or two to sort through postpartum depression. Knowing my son, that’s not going to be pretty.” Derek grimaced, thinking of every woman in his family he encountered with postpartum depression. Those were not fun times.
"I willing to do what’s best for Stiles and Destiny. I know I can’t move to New York. My entire life is in California. But I don’t want Stiles raising my daughter alone either.” The journalist tore his glassed from his face and pushed his hair back from his face. "It’d be easier if he would just talk to me."
Newspaper pages rustled in John’s hands. Nodded while listening to Derek’s plight. "To be honest Derek, that’s something for you and Stiles to decide on. If he doesn’t feel like talking about it then he won’t talk about it. I know it’s not fair to you but that’s how he’s always been. For the time being, just stay as close as possible. I think if he realize you’re serious, it’ll ease his mind a little bit.”
The journalist stared holes into the airline seat in front of him. He thought about moving to New York several times. Plans went over and over in his head and yet he always came to the same conclusion. But just how much of his life was in California?
He heard Destiny making a fuss a few seats from him. Derek craned his neck over John to see Stiles curled up with their daughter. She had quieted down the moment she hit his chest. Kids. He turned his attention back to the window. Only an hour into their six hour trip and it already felt like a lifetime.
Luckily for everyone, there was zero to no turbulence which calmed Stiles tremendously. It wasn’t long before Derek’s head rested on the back of his seat. He clocked out for about four hours. The rest of the party also felt the effects of air time drowsiness. Thankfully, Destiny was being cooperative and slept soundly. Everyone could breathe easy for the first time in a week.
—
The remaining hour quickly dissolved away. There was a battle plan passed around amongst the party as their gathered their things, readying for departure. John had written it up with Wilson before he arrived. It detailed what everyone had to do from landing in New York to situating in the Embassy Suites.
The reporter shot his hand into the air while cradling his baby in his free arm. "Why can’t we just go home?" a disgruntled Stiles asked while being briefed.
John shrugged his shoulders and looked over the sheet, "Wilson said it would be better if we stayed in the hotel until he could secure a time for a press conference. Speaking of your boss, have you talked to him at all?” The reporter lifted the paper to his face and murmured behind it.
Stiles had zero intention of talking to Wilson over the phone. He felt safer behind a human shield, preferably Derek. No, Wilson would tear Derek a new one. The only person who could fully protect him was Destiny. He decided from that moment he was never letting go of his child.
That was, until she began to quack loudly between cries. Hungry again. He sighed as Nel came and took her away. She was such a godsend. There was no way Stiles could afford her on his salary, but Derek took care of it. He stole a quick glance at the journalist before the stewardess came through and gave them the old disembarkment spiel.
In his heart, Stiles knew he needed to talk to Derek. To be completely honest, he never wanted to deal with the journalist again. His plan had revolved around living in Columbia for the rest of his life, raising Destiny in the village. It was a far fetched plan, but it was the best one at the time.
Jesus and Stiles overlooked the end of the airplanes stairway. "This must be how the president feels." the Columbian whispered to the younger man. There was already a line of press waiting for them. A few more escorts joined them at the top, and they began their descent.
*** Camera flashes greeted them first. It was decided that Derek and Stiles should walk separately to avoid pictures of them together. Derek couldn’t leave the plane another way because he was in Destiny’s birthing video. It wouldn't make any sense.
The current plan was to remain tight lipped and rendezvous at the hotel. There, Wilson would be waiting for them to proceed to the next step, the press conference.
Stiles thought every thing was ludicrous. He wasn't a celebrity, he was almost poor and bankrupt. Why was his life so interesting? He didn't have time to question anything. He pushed Destiny's stiller down the runaway until they reached the lobby.
Short limos parked in line, one behind the other. The engines ran as another police barricade was set. Why the hell...
An identical set of car sets was already set up in his limo. An attendant lifted the baby's carrier and secured her into the seat. Stiles slid besides he and the door was promptly shut behind him.
Destiny's large, green eyes scanned her new surroundings. The reporter loved her eyes, he loved her. He gave his daughter a loving smile before turning to look out the window.
So many fans, so many people there. All to see him and Destiny. It didn't make any sense at all. His limo pulled off and the others followed suit.
He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Digging it out was the real parlor trick by being jammed between a baby seat and a buff bodyguard.
It was Derek. He left a text message asking to have coffee and sit down once everyone was settled in the hotel.
Stiles thumbed a quick reply and say his phone on his bouncing leg. "Sooo..." He began, Turing to face his new bodyguard. "I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I'm Stilinski. Stiles Stilinksi. And you are.”
The brutish looking man raised a brow and stared down on the young reporter. He had a solid three feet on Stiles. There was a low humph that escaped from the man as he squirmed in his seat.
“Fergus O' Connelly.” was his simple reply. His voice boomed with impressive authority and the most amazing Scottish accent. The reporter’s eyes opened wide as he replayed the accent in his head numerous times before asking, “Say something else!” He exclaimed excitedly. Fergus’ mouth hung slightly ajar but he quickly composed himself.
He had brilliant red hair, and bulging muscles that could be mistaken for a bulldog. That was the job though, Stiles noted to himself. But he wouldn’t back down on hearing Fergus’ voice once more.
“C’mon! I’ve never heard anything like your accent.”
“I’m not your pet.” the bodyguard growled, finding himself increasingly frustrated with his new assignment. When he joined the force, taking care of some snot nosed kid and his illegitimate child wasn’t on his to do list.
The reporter pouted and crossed his arms. “Fine.” he mumbled, not impressed with the answer. He gave Destiny his attention and looked to the ground beneath her. Bottles, a change of clothes diapers; not like he was going to need all of it in the forty-five minute car ride. He wanted to be overly prepared.
His phone flashed again, this time it was his father who asked if he was going to talk to Derek. His lips twisted into a frown before replying, I will. Don’t know what to say. The whoosh sound played as Stiles stuffed the phone into his pocket once more.
There was an awkward silence between Stiles and Fergus. The reporter had somehow managed to piss off the only person he could talk to. Well, there was always Destiny. He just wanted to have adult conversations.
His daughter slept silently besides him. All the car rides and air time are a pretty relaxed atmosphere. He excepted her to be startled from the press. She handled it pretty well for a newborn.
—
Arriving at the hotel was no different than the airport scenario. The party was escorted through police barricades and into the hotel. Their arrival had been carefully planned to the T'. No one was allowed into the hotel without an activated room key and photo ID.
It finally dawned on Stiles why his life had been plastered on the front page of the New Yorker. Derek Hale was the real famous one, Stiles was just being strung along. He clasped his hand on Destiny’s stroller as he pushed it at a steady pace. She was awake but he was sure to pull down the front. No one was going to get a photo of her before the press conference.
His sneakers hit the hotel floor and dove straight into the elevator. His dad and Jesus was waiting for the pair in the inside. They stepped into the elevator one by one. Stiles looked back to Fergus, who was talking to a hot security guard. He frowned again as the elevator doors shut.
“Where’s Derek?” He asked, leaning effortlessly on a wall. John scratched his chin and lifted the cover from the stroller.
The Colombian rolled his eyes, “He’s coming in through the garage elevator. I said he should just stay in another hotel…”
A smile slipped onto Stiles’ face, “You’re pretty ornery for a guy that wanted to bone Hale about a year ago.”
Jesus sneered at the reporter mainly because he didn’t like the reminder of his pass transgressions. Coming from harden experience, John ignored the two. His granddaughter provide far more entertainment. As the two friends squabbled between themselves, they didn’t realize the doors to the elevator had opened. Sheriff Stilinski pushed Destiny out and was half way down the hall before the others realized.
“Oh wow.” Jesus and Stiles said in unison. The hotel suite was simply mesmerizing. All three men were swallowed up in the large room. Everything was clean, smelled good and there was a bed; a really comfortable looking bed. After spending a week laying in what felt like a metal cot, Stiles’ mouth drooled.
With two showers in the suite, no time was wasted. Jesus took an alternating watch of Destiny while the Stiles showered. John ordered food for the party and Janellys joined them sometime after.
Stiles stumbled out of the shower in his usual fashion. No one was really worried when he allowed hot water to pour over his flesh for thirty minutes before scrubbing. Colombia was far from a third world country, but that hospital was less to be desired. He took a long look in the head to toe mirror. It was the first he looked at himself that wasn’t in the paper.
“Oh my god…”. He mouthed, poking at his stomach. If you were to tell Stiles a year ago he would be forty pounds heavier, he wouldn't believe it. His fingers raced down the stretch marks on both sides of his stomach. They started mid back to about the upper half of his ass.
When it came to his looks, the reporter thought he was ok. Maybe not Derek Hale side of the scale, but ok. He almost couldn’t believe that was him in the mirror. Stiles didn’t feel ugly. He knew he wasn’t ugly. But unattractive and portly? Oh yeah. John knocked briskly at the door to announce food had arrived. Stiles took one single, lasting look at himself in the mirror.
He bit down on his lip and dressed quickly while water droplets fell from his hair. Food always made things better in the end. Derek was on one bed with his legs crossed. He and John were in a deep conversation. Stiles felt a bit in the bottom of his stomach. His anxiety was rearing it’s ugly head once more. He shook his head, determined to shake the feeling.
Jesus waved him over to their shared bed. There was a wonderful spread of sandwiches, cookies, chips and the ever so random, applesauce. The reporter was all about the apple. He and Derek made quick eye contact before his eyes locked on the bed.
It felt as if the moment his body hit the feather dow, he melted into it. “Oh maaaaan.” Stiles’ arms spread wide, causing Jesus’ food to shift dangerously. “Seriously papi? Stop it before I skin joo!” His accent was back in full swing.
Finally having time for himself, Jesus dressed himself nice for the press conference. A fresh new wig with violent, blue lipstick popped. His entire presence made a compete one eighty as well as his attitude. Perhaps he could blame his nasty attitude towards Derek on his lack of drag accessories. He felt at home with a wig sitting onto of his bald scalp.
He was able to shove some cookies and salted chips in his mouth. How he kept his eyes opened throughout the day was a mystery. Jesus started to talk to him about what he was going to say during the conference. However, Stiles attention was slowly dying out.
He made like the dinosaurs and laid back longingly. His eyelids slipped heavily over his eyes and Jesus continued to yammer on. Stiles pulled a pillow close to his chest and curled into it. The bed was perfect, Destiny was fine in Nelly’s arms. She silently nursed away. There was no way in hell Stiles could stay away.
There was a nice voice speaking close in his ear, maybe his dad. He didn’t know. Stiles felt himself being tucked into the bed. The comforter smelled of bleach and warm sea air. This is what he needed, he missed beds and first world problems. He wanted to talk to Jesus about his adult conversation with Derek. He still didn’t have a clue on what to say.
Sadly the spell of sleep won him over. The room hushed to soft whispers when they realized Stiles had passed out. His knees drew into the pillow. It hurt, pushing that gigantic, peanut head out hurt. There was a possibility that he would never want to experience that pain again.
More kids was the last thing on his mind. The notice did dance around in his head during small fantasies that would play out. Reality was the only thing keeping him in check. He was torn up from the back to the front. The Colombia hospital staff had worked wonders to help with the swelling, but the unbearable pain haunted him.
**
The next thing he knew, someone was shaking his shoulder. No. Just let him sleep forever. He heard a gruff sigh before the sheets were torn from his body.
"Hey! Get up Stiles Stilinski." A familiar Scottish accent demanded. Still, it didn't help stir the sleeping father. He knew sleep would be sparse and wanted to enjoy it while he could.
"You're going to be late for your press conference and I don't do late lad. Now get your ass out of the bed and get ready. "
Stiles groaned and kicked the remaining sheets off his body. What did the world have against a good nights sleep? Except it wasn't night, it was midday. He had sleep for twelve hours.
"Oh." The reporter simple said while rubbing his eyes. Someone took his glasses off his face. Ok. "Where did everyone go?" He asked, stepping down from the king sized bed. He released a loud yawn while making his way to the bedroom.
"I don't know where everyone went. I was told to wake you up by two if you weren't up. The press conference starts at 6pm. And you have coffee with Derek at three thirty down by the cabana."
As Fergus listed out the things Stiles had plan, his blood began to boil. He wasn't no lady and especially wasn't no secretary to some brat. Considering all his training, this assignment was humiliating.
Stiles as completely oblivious to his bodyguard's feelings mainly because he wasn't paying attention. All he could think about was coffee with Derek. He still didn't have a clue what to talk about.
He took slow steps to his suit case and pulled out some khaki shorts. He already knew he was going to spend so time configuring his outfit.
After a quick shower and his teeth brushed, Stiles felt satisfied with himself. Post baby body still needed m work, but for now he was satisfied.
He and Fergus rode down the elevator in mind numbing silence. It was obvious his bodyguard was not happy with him for some reason or another. It didn't bother Stiles too much.
Locating the cabana was pretty easy. Fergus sat down always to give Stiles and Derek their privacy. He journalist had his legs crossed and was nose deep in his cellphone. Stiles sat down without a word and waited.
Derek didn't notice him until a few moments and prompt out his phone down.
"Stiles! Sorry, how long have you been there?" Derek looked slightly concerned
"I just got here. Why did you let me sleep in?" Stiles asked immediately. He knew it was going to be a busy day. He just didn't feel like sleeping in was a good idea. It felt incredibly lonely without his little peanut.
"It was your dad's idea. He thought it wouldn't do any good to wake you." There was a faint smile that sat on his lips. It made Stiles uneasy.
What if Derek wanted to take Destiny away? Stiles was practically poor and the Hales had so much money. He was lost in his own little world as the journalist repeatedly called out his name.
"Stiles?"
"You can't have my peanut!"
"Wh-what? The waiter wanted to know if you'd like a drink..."
Awkward silence.
"Ohhh... Yeah a sweet tea please. " The younger man slid down his chair, complete absorbed in the silverware.
"I'm not going to take Destiny away from you... Why would you even say that Stiles?"
Stiles didn't take anytime to answer. "You have so much money. I'm practically broke and live in New York...."
"I'm not that much of an asshole you even consider that. Do you really think I would..."
"No." Stiles interjected. They were getting off of the subject, whatever the subject was.
Derek raised a brow, not satisfied with the reporter's response. But he was going to let it go. He leaned back in his chair and moaned softly. There was already a headache brewing before the conversation even began. “Look. I don’t know why you think I’m a bad guy. I’m not. I’ve just been racking my brain, trying to figure out how to make this work.”
The reporter’s fingers strummed on the table, waiting for that damn tea to arrive. “I think this is why I didn’t want you to know. Everything is going to be so complicated. I just want Destiny to have a normal life.”
“Ok first of all, Destiny will never have a normal life because both of her parents are famous. You’re going to have to let that dream go.”
“Well what if I don’t want to? She deserves her best chance. Maybe I don’t want to be famous anymore. I just want to be her dad…” Stiles crossed his arms and contemplated what he was saying. All his life he wanted to report the news, to be directly in the line of fire. And finally his dream came true. Along came Derek Hale and everything was crashing down around him.
“I don’t regret sleeping with you Stiles. I don’t regret anything. I would do it all over again in an instant. Maybe you telling me a little bit sooner would be nice. Otherwise, I’m going to help you as much as I can. Eventually I would have found out you still had her. That’s what I don’t understand. Were you planning to stay in Colombia for the rest of your life?”
Stiles attention was on the tea that sat in front of him. The waiter had brought it sometime ago and the ice already began to melt in the hot August sun. He sighed as he watched the condensation fall from the glass. “Yes. I wanted to stay in Colombia forever. I easily adjusted to zero technology and learned the language pretty quickly. I was told however…it wasn’t meant to be. I…”
His lip curled slightly. The village was a beautiful place, the people were polite and engaging. Destiny would have loved it there. He blinked away a few tears before continuing. “As for not telling you, if my intern didn’t call you, you would never have known.”
“You’re forgetting about the sleezy article.” the older man chimed in.
“Well yeah…but I could have denied it. Jesus could have said Destiny was his.”
“But you didn’t, and you told me. So apparently you wanted me to know.”
“It was the right thing to do! I didn’t want you to know, I didn’t want another reason to have you in my life besides that stupid media rivalry. We don’t even know each other.”
Derek sighed. This was getting them no where. He knew it was healthy for Stiles to get his emotions out. He gave the reporter a warm smile and stuck out his hand. Stiles eyes it as if it was going to bite him so Derek pushed it out further.
"Hi. Derek Hale.”
So that’s what he wanted. A little roleplay to make Stiles feel comfortable. Reluctantly, he took Derek’s hand and shook it.
Derek’s smile widen before letting go. "You may know me for the Beckon Hills Tribune. I’m 28 and I recently became a father to the world’s most beautiful, baby girl. When I’m not writing, I’m reading. It’s very rare for me to not have a piece of literature in my hands. My favorite books include Where the Wild Things Are, Harry Potter, Morgan Freeman’s Autobiography, and any book in the If you Give a Mouse a Cookie series.”
Stiles hid his smile behind his hand. He tried not to laugh to hard at the journalist book selection.
"You can sometimes find me at my parents house. I have an abnormally large family which includes, three brothers, four sisters, two aunts, five uncles, and so many nieces and nephews. I can’t even keep track anymore. You’ve probably heard of my stupid media rivalry with Stiles Stilinski. If it wasn’t for my sister scheduling us both for a talk show, we would have never met.
The reporter bit his lip. He straighten up a bit in his chair, keen to hear more.
“We were both very drunk during our first meeting and ended up in the same bed. Something I will have to remember to warn my daughter of, younger men who seduce you.” He smirked and raised a brow. "While I think we got off to a very rough start, I really hope he’ll let me be in his life and my daughter’s. I know he thinks I’m a bad guy but I’m really not. Maybe if he gets to know me, he’ll see for himself.”
Stiles was biting down on his lip and tugging at his khakis. He didn’t know how to respond to all that. Everything Derek said was true.
“The best place to start is the beginning.” Derek said as if he was reading the reporter’s mind.
“Alright. I’m Stiles Stilinski. Pause. Shake hands. I’m twenty-four years old and a reporter for the Channel 6 news. I start out as a chemist major in college and soon found out I couldn’t handle the enormous amount of pressure. I switch to journalism as a minor until I could figure out what I wanted to do. Well, I ended up loving all of my classes and made journalism my major and double majored in political science.”
Derek nodded, thoroughly impressed. He had no idea Stiles double majored in college.
“Eighty thousand dollars later, I found myself twenty years old and on the streets of New York begging for anyone to hire me. My first job was the Magnificat on 21st street and Broadway. I was the cashier for about two years. Finally after calling around and leaving my degree everywhere, Channel 6 called me to be a rookie underneath Regina Middleton. She’s my idol. I quit Magnificat and worked under her for a year. Not long after she quit to work in the field near the riots in Montana and I became the new lead reporter.”
He was giddy just thinking about it. Regina Middleton had basically sexually harassed him his first week until he broke down and told her he was gay. He ousted himself to the entire building. It just happened to make his life ten times easier.
“After that, I picked on a certain journalist who had a very interesting view on genetics. Being a genetic myself, I felt personally attacked and decided to stand up for my fellow brothers, sisters and others. It became a very heated rivalry over the next eight months. Secretly, I envied this Derek Hale because his writing is so phenomenal.”
“Oh really? How come this wasn’t in any new reports?” Derek ask inquisitively.
Stiles rolled his eyes at the interruption, determined to say his piece. "I am willing to admit that jealousy also played a part in the stupid media rivalry. Coming up on the ninth month of our rival anniversary, I was force onto the Jenny Gale show were I met this journalist. And this so called ’seducing’ would have never happened if Derek would have left me in the other bed. Ten months later I found myself in Colombia heading to the Bogotà hospital to deliver my daughter when my water broke and I ran into my rival once more.”
Derek folded his hands under his chin, supported by his elbows on the table, “You skipped the part about faking the miscarriage. And Christmas, you skipped Christmas.”
“Christmas was just a bad dream and I like to pretend it never happened. As far as the miscarriage goes I was being selfish ok? I was full of mix emotions and I was embarrassed when you…when Derek found out. I was doing what I thought was right. I know now it wasn’t the best decision. If I could go back in time I would have told him during Christmas instead of allowing my hormones to take over. I do want him to know I’m sorry about faking a miscarriage. It was a complete dick move."
**
The pair sat in silence for a few second. Finally, everything that they wanted to be said was said without a moments delay. Stiles felt more at ease, it wasn’t like he was so wound up to begin with. It was nice having adult conversations. Better get his real emotions out with Derek than the general public anyways.
“Well it’s very nice to meet you Stiles Stilinski.” Derek replied, giving him a light nod. His eyes smiled before sipping on his drink.
**
“You as well Derek Hale.”
The pair sat in silence while they enjoyed their drinks in the August air. Eventually they would have to go to the press conference and back into reality. For the time being, Stiles wanted to enjoy the quiet moments. He had yet experience the full force of fatherhood. Everyone coddled him and Destiny. Soon, everyone would have to return to their normal lives.
That left Stiles to face to true world as a single father. Jesus was there, but he had his own life to live. He didn’t resent the Colombian for it. Eventually Jesus was going to want his own space. He wouldn’t stay with Stiles forever in their small apartment. The reporter exhaled harshly before standing up. “Well… it’s now or never.” He mumbled to himself. Derek made a sound of . Together they entered the hotel and headed towards the conference room.
Every press representative was there, or so it felt like. Stiles was use to being on the other side. Destiny sat in her stroller, away from the cameras. It was decided she shouldn’t be photographed just yet. Stiles found it ridiculously stupid. The sooner people saw his child, the sooner they would leave him alone. He stared at the crowd and when his daughter began to fuss, he immediately bent down and picked her up.
As if on cue, flashed went off. Stiles shielded her. He whispered into her ear and rocked her carefully in his chest.
“Dammit Stilinski…” He heard Wilson whisper off not to far. It was his daughter. His first daughter and he wasn’t going to let her cry and hide her like she was some refugee. He knew there was no way she was going to fall back to sleep. There was too much clamor going on. For the most part, she seemed to calm down being in daddy’s arms.
—
Derek and Stiles were pounded with question after question. Julian and Maureen flew to New York to be his formal representatives with Wilson and Regina as Stiles’. When ever there was a question that either pair felt wasn’t necessary, they would answer no comment. It made Stiles’ life ten times easier. There was one question however, that he felt compelled to answer.
“This question is for Stiles.” A young reporter asked. He was standing tall and looked his fellow reporter dead in the eyes.
“Go on.” the freckled man replied.
“With a daughter between you both, where does that leave your relationship romantically?”
The room stilled as all eyes where on him. Wilson mouthed he didn’t have to answer if he didn’t want to.
During their adult conversation he told Derek he didn’t want a romantic relationship. He also didn’t want the older man waiting for him. At the current time, the only one who mattered was Destiny. It was painful to watch Derek’s expression but it was better than leading him on.
“There is no romantic relationship between Derek and me. We will stay as fathers to our daughter first and friends secondly. “
“So why keep the baby if you had no intention of staying together.”
Stiles looked down at his daughter, her green eyes staring about. She had a small smile on her face as she looked up at him. “Because, from the moment I heard her heartbeat…I knew she was my child. Everyone has the right to their own body and the right to their own decisions. My decision was to keep her, it wouldn’t be fair to her. As an adopted child, I know how it feels to be thrown away.”
Destiny’s eyes was fixated on her father as he spoke. She liked the sound of his voice. It was like she heard it her entire life. She grinned again before feeling that uncomfortable feeling gnawing at her stomach. Lunch time.
It started with the restless squirming in Stiles arms. He smiled down at her before continuing on. " A baby shouldn't be the determining factor of two people forced together. It should be out of mutual understanding and love for each other. Not because of a hook up."
The tears came next. Destiny's fist balled up. Her face swelled into that as an angry troll. It was deep red before she because to quack. Stiles knew that sound in an instant, feeding time.
"Duty calls." He announced to the crowd of wavering reporters. He stood to his feet and took Destiny off the stage. Fergus followed him closely to the elevator before tuning round to escort the others.
Questions were being shouted at him from every which way. They yelled some to Derek only to be ignored.
Wilson and Maureen stepped forward to read out the terms of agreement for attending. The moment lawsuit was mentioned, the room was still once more.
Stiles stared at Janellys who nursed his daughter. He wasn't jealous in the slightest. He was already going through body acceptance issues. To add breast to the mix would spell for disaster.
He sat crossed legged on the bed, turning his attention to the wall. There was so much that needed to be done before his flight to California.
John soon trailed after his son. He paused for a moment to see the young man deep in thought before walking forward to wrap his arms around him.
"You doing ok kid?" He asked. John was always concerned when it came to Stiles.
The reporter gave a slight nod. " Dad. Do you think it's alright if Destiny and me stay at your place for a bit? Just so Derek's parents can see her and all. You too of course. "
John's face broken into a large grin before hugging Stiles tighter. "You never... Ever have to ask if you can come home. " he whispered.
Stiles nodded again. It seemed that's all he ever did. "Thanks dad. I'm going to take a quick nap. There's some things I want to pick up at the apartment."
Without another word, Stiles freed himself from his father's grasp. He crawled toward the pills before passing out almost immediately.
It was harder leaving than coming. The was a throng of reporters at every entrance. They had so many unanswered questions. The group was greeted with another police barricade. They exited the hotel and made their way into the limos.
Fergus sat in the front while Stiles and Janellys say on both sides of Destiny. Stiles was able to slip away late at night to pick up his mother's camera.
There was no need for the digital device in his world. They had processing centers that could link directly to one's brain and extract memories. It was a slightly painful process but it was worth it.
Stiles rather forgo the pain, having enough after child birth. He rarely used the camera, it was more of a keepsake. He flipped through the images before landing on a video.
He could hear the faint sound of Jesus' voice, "Awe! Look at mi papi all snuggled up next to his beau. "
It was a video of him and Derek snuggling after the attack in Central Park. He gave the video a faint smile before deleting it. Those where the memories he rather keep for himself.
There was limited storage on the digital camera, they didn't sell any memory sticks. None that he could find. They arrived at the airport with less flair then when they arrived. Only a select few of people knew where the group was headed. They boarded the plane and began the four hour flight.
Destiny sat next to Stiles, his travel companion. John Stilinski was passed out. He was snoring loud in the seat across from him. Conversation with Janellys was practically impossible. The language barrier was pretty wide. Derek was talking to Maureen further back. Jesus stayed back in New York. He hadn’t worked in months and missed his wigs. Stiles didn’t judge him for it. But it made for a very lonely plane ride.
He was left with his camera and a sleeping daughter. Was this how life was going to be once things got back to normal? It was a very lonely life, quiet for now. Destiny had people waiting on he hand and foot. Soon it would be him and her.
The car thing fell through. There just wasn’t anywhere to park it and money was super tight. Jesus also announced he was moving to the outer city to join a traveling drag show. The reporter was happy for him. Janellys would be with him a few times a week to pump milk and feed Destiny keep skin-to-skin contact.
In the end, he was going to be completely alone. The thought crippled him. Stiles had never been alone. He was always surrounded by people. He rubbed his hand across his tired face. He looked down to his daughter. It would be a long while before she learned to talk, however it didn’t make her existence any less prevalent. He smiled softly. He wasn’t completely alone after all.
Derek was able to break free from his boss due to a phone call she just had to take. He walked over to stiles and noticed the empty seat next to Destiny.
“Is this seat taken?” He asked the aloof reporter.
Stiles gave a slight smirk before crossing his legs, “It’s a free plane I guess. Well not entirely free, we had to pay for it and all.”
Derek took a seat, shaking his head. Stiles was always Stiles. “Thank you again for coming to Beacon Hills, my parents will really appreciate it.
The reporter shrugged. They were Destiny’s grandparents after all. He wasn’t obligated but it was the right thing to do. He was given two months paid paternity leave. He had the time to spare.
“Just… don’t let them touch her too much. Or kiss her.”
“Wh-what?”
Derek’s hand was met with mini pamphlets Stiles had read numerous times. It detailed newborns and how susceptible to diseases they were.
“I mean…”He began, trying to find the right words as the journalist skimmed the papers.
“I just want her to be safe. She’s use to our germs because she’s been around us, and for the most part you’re all clean enough… god I sound horrible it’s just…”
Stiles rambled on as Derek tuned him out. He was used to the first parent woes. Considering the amount of offspring born in the house and the amount of new parents, he watched it all. Laura was a different story. Her son, Jonathan was born premature. She was so stressed over wedding planning, it just happened.
The doctor’s proclaimed he wouldn’t live pass two days even with all their technology. She wasn’t a genetic, there wasn’t much they could do. But like a true Hale, he pulled though much to everyone’s surprise. Derek wasn’t surprised, Laura was Jonathan’s mother after all.
He hid his smile behind the pamphlets when Stiles asked if he was even listening, “Yeah, yeah. I get it. I’ll make sure my parents wash their hands twice but not before they bathe in antibacterial soap.”
“This is not a joke Derek!” He reached over the sleeping infant but stopped as she shifted. Saved by the baby.
“I know Stiles, trust me. They know the drill ok?”
The rest of wasn’t as eventful. John slept through and Derek and Stiles had sparse conversation. If anything, it wasn’t going to be a long two months at all.
“Where are you staying?” Derek asked.
“With my father. Why?”
The journalist opened his mouth to speak but was cut off due to the stewardess turning the attention towards her. They were going to land. Saved once again, Derek released a small sigh of relief.
Derek exited the plane ahead of the group. His luggage was first on the rotary and he grabbed it quickly. Stalking around the lobby, he heard his mother call out. “Derek! Dear over her.” She was waving her hands. With a big smile on his face, Derek made his way to her, embracing her in a long hug.
“Derek I saw her! I saw her on the tv! You have to go to the processing plant! I want to see everything!”
Even though they weren’t genetics, the processing plant worked the same. It was twice as painful to extract the memories however. Derek had no intention to go. Stiles coming was a surprise. It was Laura’s idea. She told Derek how his parents were a little down that they wouldn’t be able to see Destiny so young.
Stiles stepped from behind Derek, both hands on Destiny’s stroller.
“Is that…STILES!!”
Talia rushed over to the young man. She wore a gleeful smile on her face and slight tears welling in her eyes. “You brought her all the way to California for us? Stiles… you are such a sweetheart. Benjamin! Come here, come look at your granddaughter.”
Benjamin Hale stood from the wait area and walked slowly. He didn’t have the same energy he had during Christmas. Stiles gave the older man a false smile before lifting the cover from the stroller. Destiny was wide eyed as she examined the strangers in front of her.
The older Hale grasped his wife’s shoulder, smiling genuinely. “Where there she is. She has your eyes Talia.”
Her grin grew wider as she leaned down for a closer look. Stiles shot Derek a quick grimace causing the journalist to step forward.
“Yeah, there she is. But can you promise not to hold her until you wash your hands. And avoid kissing her if you can, I know it’s going to be hard because she’s so gosh darn cute.”
Talia flashed her son a smile, “Well Benjamin look at this. I never thought Derek would get first parent jitters.”
“I don’t know what kind of germs you’re carrying mom. I don’t need a sick little baby.”
In a very child like fashion, Benjamin stuck out his tongue. “Phooey on you Derek.”
His voice was weaker than Stiles remembered too. He mouthed a quick thank you to Derek. The journalist walked forward patting his mother on the shoulder. John and Scott walked up to the group with the luggage.
“Talia, Benjamin.” The sheriff liked to get formalities out of the way as soon as possible. They gave him a warm smile.
“Well Stiles don’t be a stranger. When ever you’re feeling up to it maybe you can come to brunch some time?” Talia gave him a quick hug, “Thank you again sweetie.”
Stiles looked over to Derek who seemed a bit distant. He was on is phone, typing away. His mouther announced they were leaving which caused the journalist to bring his attention back to Stiles once more. Instead, he bent down into the stroller and gave his daughter a quick kiss on the head. “Alright munchkin. Be good.”
There was an awkward pull between he and Stiles.
“I guess I’ll see you later then.” He said to the younger man. He turned to catch up to his parents, leaving the reporter to the wayside.
“Bye.” Stiles whispered to the air. John nudged the younger man forward.
“C’mon son. You know Scott’s appetite better than anyone. He won’t last a single minute without something in that endless pit.”
Scott scoffed, throughly offended but said not a word as the group gathered to the front.
~
It had been a three weeks since Stiles came to California. He had spent most of his time in the house, replying to emails. Janellys lived in Beacon Hills and had her own home. John worked odd hours which left Stiles alone at times. That morning, Destiny wasn’t quite to happy that she wasn’t getting as much attention as she was use to.
It was 2AM and Stiles was exhausted. He had been taking care of her by himself for three days. She shriek and screamed and hollered five feet away from him. Eventually he had stopped sleeping with the covers on. He pushed his feet over the edge of the bed, tears forming in his eyes.
“Oh my god Destiny what?!”
He picked up the wailing child, feeling around her diaper. He fed her an hour before, he checked her temperature and basically anything else that he thought would be upsetting his child.
“Destiny, Destiny my sweet, sweet Destiny. If you love your daddy you’ll let him get some sleep please baby.” The child began to cry louder, there was no hunger quaking, her eyes were closed shut. Her fist were balled up and the wails grew louder.
Stiles began to cry himself at this point. He didn’t know what else to do. He walked up and down the stairs, bouncing the baby in his arms. Nothing. He singed to her. Nada. Eventually he gave up and sat in the corner of his room.
“That’s it. I have some weird defective baby. You are broken and I just. Oh my god baby what’s wrong?! Shit. Shit.. Shit. Shit. I am a terrible parent because I.Don’t.Know.What’s.Wrong.With.You!” With Destiny in one arm, he pushed the tears away from his face. Why was she acting out like this? She had been so calm before?! He sobbed silently to himself while his daughter cried her hardest.
Derek was the only person who came to mind at that hour. He stood to his feet and reached out for his phone. It was 3:30, she had been at it for quite some while.
The journalist picked up on the third ring. He coughed to the side of the receiver.
“Stiles? What time is it?”
“Derek I don’t know what to do! She won’t stop crying and she’s been at it forever!”
There was a rustling sound on the other end which Stiles could only assume was Derek shuffling out of bed.
“Ok I’ll be right there. It’s alright Stiles, I know you did every thing you could. Stay on the phone with me. What did you try doing?”
Talking to Derek calmed him down some. He recounted everything he could think of from bottles to diapers to skin rash and oblivion.
Destiny’s cries simmered down a bit, she head a voice that she hadn’t heard in a long time. She was hiccuping, still crying but it didn’t have the full force it once had. Stiles breathed a sigh of relief as Derek told him he was at the door. He carefully made his way down stairs.
“Oh thank god here!” Destiny had kicked back into full swing after her little rest period. Stiles was strung out. Derek noticed the hairs sticking up on both ends and his tears stained face.
“Come on little baby. What’s wrong munchkin?” He rocked the child while making his way to the couch. He didn’t do the speed limit over, and he was a tired wreck himself. Stiles eyes him carefully, still pushing tears away form his face.
Derek continued to whisper to his daughter, her fits quieted down. Her eyes were slowly dwarfed by their lids, they popped up for a moment before resting down. The pacifier that was connected to her little jumper was slowly pushed into her mouth. “There was go sweet girl. There we go.”
She sucked away on the pacifier, her eyes closed. He wiped away her tears with his thumb and looked over to Stiles. He was passed out of the love seat, having cried himself to sleep. There was a light sigh Derek allowed to escape before standing carefully. He wished Stiles had called him sooner. He could tell by the way the younger man was sleeping it had carried on for a while.
His first step was to to get Destiny up stairs and into her crib, then Stiles. There was slight difficulty to not jostle Destiny when he laid her down. She opened her eyes slightly. He held his breath and released it when she continued to suck on her pacifier.
He tiptoed down the stairs and gather Stiles into his arms. As if by instinct, the reporter wrapped his arms around Derek’s neck. He grunted, readjusting the younger man’s weight. Up the stairs he went. It seemed easier in his head. Once Stiles was in his bed, Derek climbed in next to the and pulled the cover over them both.
It was a very tight fit but he made it work. They slept back to back. He was invited to help but not to stay. The last thing he wanted was for an awkward morning between the both of them. He checked the computer on the wall that shone 6AM. The light was bright and it could have scared Destiny if she woke up and saw it. She was also a little ways from Stiles so it had to make her uncomfortable.
That was something they could tackle together later. At the meantime sleep. Derek drifted off to sleep. He only awoke when there was a slight shift underneath him. Stiles had attached himself to Derek’s backside. The older man shook his head and laid his arms onto of Stiles and they slept like that for a little while later.
The open and closing of doors signified that the sheriff was home. No doubt he saw an unfamiliar car in his driveway. Derek drove to Stiles' house. It was the fastest way. He had to focus on his daughter and push away any looming fear that stood in his way.
John peaked into the his son’s room to see everyone was sleeping peacefully and decided not to disturb them. All he could do from that point was go down stairs and start on breakfast. His head turned to Destiny who squirmed in her crib, already awake. He was afraid she might wake up her parents and decided to pick her up. Down the stairs they went.
He placed the smiling infant in her bouncer and got to work int he kitchen. His granddaughter had proved her worth as a Stilinski. Just like her daddy.
“Well Destiny. I’m sure for bother your daddies to be in their passed out, you caused some ruckus again hrm?”
There was a teasing tone in his voice. He finally saw his opportunity to cook himself some bacon. Every since Stiles had been back, he had to eat a little healthier. There was no was his son was going to wake up soon. He put them in the pan while keeping a close eyes on the little girl who was mesmerized by the little toys that lined the bouncer above her.
She squirmed and kept herself entertained enough. Grits went on the stove next, and then some eggs. All he needed was some pancakes and he’d be set.
“This is our little secret you hear me little girl? Don’t go blabbering to your daddy. I don’t need him worrying about me anymore than necessary.”
He fixed himself a plate and sat it at the table. He knew Destiny would be hungry soon. He took a bottle out of the fridge, placing it in the bottle warming. She hadn’t given him so much as a blink his his direction. The tiger had totally captured her.
Back upstairs, Derek stirred slightly. The smell of food always had an allure to him. This time it was the gloriousness of bacon. Bacon was the office gift from his forefathers, the genuine and unaltered piece of heaven. But lately there had be something…rather someone keeping Derek from reaching ultimate pork enlightenment.
Her name was Abby and she was Derek’s official girlfriend. They met each other during one of his numerous book tours in California. She actually grew up in Beacon Hills and ended up in San Franjose after college. She also majored in journalism. At first it was weird connecting with someone and having so much in common at the same time. Derek soon passed it off as a charm and grew to like it.
They had been seeing each other before Derek’s departure to Brazil. It turns out that she followed his stories almost as closely as his mother did. It wasn’t an extremely exclusive thing. They went on movie dates, coffee dates, basically all the cute stages. This was all before he reached New York and learned about his daughter.
There wasn’t a real damper on the relationship. Abby knew about his feelings for Stiles but she also knew her feelings for Derek. She was determined with their relationship. She’s told Derek almost endlessly that it could work if she tried hard enough, she could be enough for Derek. Since his return to Beacon Hills, they were practically inseparable.
He didn’t feel guilty for being so confused. Abby wanted him, Stiles didn’t It was a choice that was obvious from the get go. And while he still had those emotions for Stiles, he focused more on his life with Abby.
What struck him as odd was Stiles hadn’t called him once since they airport and Derek figured it was because he wanted to settle in. Three weeks was a long time and his mother grew restless. It was understandable. Derek pull himself away from Stiles who curled into the empty sheet. Bacon was calling.
His light footsteps startled the sheriff who was feeding Destiny her bottle.
“Dammit Derek. I thought you were my son.” he confessed.
The journalist crossed his arms and smirked. “Ah I see. The sheriff isn’t suppose to be eating such a heavy breakfast while the son is here right? Well. I guess I can keep my mouth shut it.”
John peered up sheepishly at the younger man. He could shoot him and say it was an accident. Stiles would understand. “If what? You might want to choose your next words wisely.”
Derek took a seat next to the sheriff, “If you serve me up some of that bacon.”
The older man lifted his head and gave a high smile. “What about dear Abby? I would have some dirt on you too.”
“Then we would have a mutual understanding would we not?”
Stilinski weighed his options. He was caught red handed. “You drive a hard bargain. Hold this bottle while I dish you up a plate.”
Derek reached over to hold the bottle but Destiny had lost all interest. She smiled gleefully and allowed the milk to bubble out of her mouth. Well that was that. He picked her up carefully and took the burping cloth from the seat. He laid it across his shoulder and patted her lightly.
John returned with a plate for Derek and took over the burping duties. “So Stiles finally broke down and called you huh?”
Stiles had this thing about keeping as much distance from everyone besides his father and Scott. Derek thought it was because of Abby but it was something entirely different. Stiles wasn’t the jealous type. Maybe he was still afraid that Derek as going to take Destiny away. He would never do that in a million years.
His mother had been begging Derek to invite Stiles and Destiny over. It would be good for his father to see her more too. They hadn’t seen her since they picked him up from the airport. He would do his best but the reporter made it clear he was keeping his distance.
“Yeah he did, I was shocked but not surprised. Destiny is smart, she realized she hadn’t seen me in awhile and got upset.” He laughed to himself. It could have been true but that wasn’t the real reason.
“But seriously, the computer on the wall is really bright. I’m sure to an infant it’s a bit over stimulating.”
“I see what you mean. When Stiles wakes up, I’ll mention it to him.”
“Do you want me to leave?” Derek was confused. Why couldn’t he say anything to Stiles himself? He had to ask the reporter to come over. He really wanted his dad to see Destiny.
“I didn’t mean it like that Derek. Sorry if you thought that. You are more than welcome to stay. I just know he can be hard headed at times and unwilling to listen to reason. I’m thinking after a month, he should be out of this stage but I’m not so sure.”
John was talking about postpartum depression. If Stiles was still showing signs after this long than maybe it was a serious case.
“I think he just needs more sleep John.” Derek interjected. Stiles seemed like he was really at his wits end.
“You may be right. I would still feel better if he went and talked to someone about it.” John knew his son. He knew what went on in that mind of his. And other times he didn’t.
Once Destiny was burped, John placed her back in the bouncer.
“Seems she got some down your back there sheriff.” The journalist stifled a laughed, but he was failing terribly.
The familiar cold hit John in an instant.
“Ugh, I just showered too. Alright dad of this little spawn. Watch out for her while I get cleaned up.
Derek saluted the sheriff as he walked to his room. He forked more food into his mouth and chewed delightfully. The funny thing was, he never saw himself with this life a year ago. Destiny was already a month old. Her conception date was coming up soon, Derek couldn’t forget that. Almost an entire year had gone by.
Stiles stumbled down the stairs some time later. He was surprised to see Derek there, rocking their daughter with his foot and reading the paper. He shook his head quickly. This was not domestic, this was convenience. He needed Derek to help with their child, Derek came, and then he could go back to his life. That’s how Stiles wanted it from the get go.
He had no resentment towards Annie…or was Agie? Whatever. There was no resentment, no jealously, only guilt. He felt guilty because Derek could have had a normal life together with her if Stiles had kept Destiny to himself. But that was neither here nor there.
“G’morning.” He yawned, walking pass the pair. Derek had a mug of coffee to his lips and waved to the younger man with his free hand.
“Morning sleeping beauty.”
The reporter gave a snide laugh. Derek was not someone he needed in the…afternoon. It was noon already. God, he slept long.
Stiles reached in and grabbed the cranberry juice. “Why is there bacon on this pan?” He asked. He placed the cup to his lips while staring directly at Derek.
The older man cleared his throat, “I was hungry. I made it earlier and left some for you if you were up to it.”
Fingers strummed on the kitchen counter as Stiles tried to find a flaw in the Derek’s tale. He gave a quick glance to his stomach, it still wasn’t where it was before Destiny. He swallowed and made way for the banana’s instead.
“Thank you for coming this morning. I’ll try not to make it a habit.” Stiles peeled the banana while Derek gave him a pained look. There was something wrong with the reporter…he just couldn’t put his finger on it.
“So you haven’t been over and mom is starting to worry about you. She’s also jealous that John gets to spend so much time with Destiny.”
It was only a matter of time before Derek brought this up. Stiles had been anticipating it actually. It wasn’t fair to Derek’s parents that they couldn’t see Destiny because he was dealing with his own shit, He smiled his fake smile, it took awhile to perfect it.
“I know, I feel awful. What about lunch sometime?”
It was Derek’s turn to smile. He didn’t think it would be so easy. “Well as luck would have it, my mom had a good feeling about today and already started on it.”
Just like the Hales to be sneaky. It didn’t upset Stiles too much. But lunch would be at their place. That was a problem. A big problem. He tapped his fingers on the glass.
“Sure… that would be great actually.”
The fake smile slipped on his face once more. Stiles finished the glass of cranberry juice. He walked over to the resting Destiny and picked her up.
“We’ll get ready to go and meet you over there ok? Did she have a time?”
Derek stood to his feet and stroked his daughter’s head gently.
“Good, invite your dad too. I know he’s busy with the cougar sightings that keep increasing, but he might be free.” He paused for a moment. “Maybe around 2:30? Feel free to come sooner. I know mom won’t mind.”
Stiles walked the journalist to the door and saw him out.
Afterwards, he marched up the stairs and placed Destiny in her crib, flat on her belly. “You need to work out those neck muscles young lady.” He joked. Stiles slowly rummaged through their clothes and picked out a nice sundress for Destiny. There was one more thing he wanted to do before getting ready.
The young man slipped into the bathroom and looked around for his father. He heard the shower downstairs so the coast was clear. With the door closed behind him, Stiles took a few steps forward and got down to his knees
~
Even though it was October, California decided to join Florida and not participate in autumn. Talia's lunch spread was so lovely, John could hardly contain himself. One could only take grilled food for so long. Derek and Abby sat next to each other while Benjamin sat closer to Stiles and Destiny.
The large house was mostly empty with many of the family spread out down the California coastline. Lawrence was disappointed that the house couldn't stay busy all year long. Things were getting a bit to hard for the young boy. His parents didn't mind if he spent more time at his friends house. It made Benjamin's transition easier for him.
There was a warm breeze blowing through Stiles' hair. He held Destiny in his arms as he bottle fed her. The fussy infant had been behaving but he knew it was all a farce.
Be good for Daddy Hale and release the true beast once they got home. There was light conversation between John and the Hales. Stiles kept to himself, not touching any food. He would chime in when it concerned Destiny or work. Other than that he was silent as the grave.
Talia showed concern but he was quick about it.
"I'm fine, honest. I want to make sure Destiny is taken care of first."
The head of the Hale household wasn't satisfied with the answer but in true Hale fashion decided to let it go. The last thing Stiles wanted was to have people on his back. He was fine, there was nothing wrong.
He was silent when Benjamin asked to hold Destiny. There was a slight hesitation at the hand off. Talia was by his side, being sure to help him support Destiny.
"She is adorable. " he said in a light whisper. Talia smiled down to the little girl who returned a smile of her own. She reached out to the Hales, welcoming this new attention. “Looks just like Derek… maybe a little less chubby.”
Stiles took this time to fill his plate. Mainly vegetables and a sandwich to throw off any lingering suspicion. He forked a few strawberries into his mouth. They were actually pleasant. His bit into the corner of a sandwich. It was really good.
Benjamin's arms began to shake, giving cue that he needed Talia's aid. She plucked the baby from his arms. It was so hard not to kiss that precious face. Why was her son such a worried wart?
From the moment she sat down, Abby had been trying to keep the conversation going. She didn’t like the semi still atmosphere. She was trying, which was a lot compared to the reporter. Stiles wasn't jealous of her, he could actually careless about her. it was only when she asked to hold Destiny did his raise concern.
Stiles kept it to himself, but he didn't hide the fact that his eyebrows rose when Talia place the infant in Abby's arms.
“Gosh! I feel so special, holding this little angel! I bet people would be so envious of me right now.” She held a big grin.
This stranger however wasn't welcomed. Destiny didn't like her and missed the others. Abby did her best to coo and smile. It didn't stop the baby from throwing a fit. She didn't want this other, she wanted the other others. The others that looked like the man from last night.
There was also the fact that she had so many different hand offs and it wasn’t bolding well for her. The baby still had a little fight in her belly. The moving had stirred the milk in her and it caused her to spit up most of it on Abby's lap.
Abby’s eyebrows shot up with major concern, “Oh my gosh! Is she ok? Oh man, this dress is dry clean only…oh well… Accidents happen I suppose.”
The reporter stood up to grab his daughter while Talia attended to Abby. Destiny had been his saving grace from the get go. He felt uncomfortable sitting down in that setting. All that food. It had been too tempting.
Derek stood up as the same time as he, "Stiles wait. I wanna talk to you for a minute. Hey John, do you mind taking care of Destiny just for a quick minute? We’ll be right back.”
Abby’s look was slightly gloomy. How could Derek leave her after his daughter threw up on her? Stiles concealed a smirk behind tightly knitted lips. Extreme hot and cold switch aside, Destiny was bad ass.
The two walked a while in silence. Whatever Derek had to say, it must have been pretty important. Stiles instantly recognized the clearing. The tree stump wasn’t too far from their current position. He was almost out of breath by the time they reached it.
He leaned against the large stump, trying to catch a second wind. ”What's up?"
Derek had his arms crossed as he stood next to Stiles.
“It’s dad. He’s not doing so good…” The journalist bit his lip while rubbing his jaw.
“Before I left for New York, he collapsed. When they took him to the hospital he was given a full exam. It’s colon cancer. And because he’s not a genetic certain medicines won’t work. He doesn’t want to do chemo. I get it…it’s completely outdated and it’s just not safe.”
Stiles listened intently. His cheeks puckered in, lost for words. Derek continued.
“When mom took him back he was worse. He has an estimate of six months. I don’t even think it’s that long.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Stiles wasn’t sure to either be mad or sad. If he had known that… he would have…
“Because you’re going through your own thing. I didn’t want to pile up more on you. I also feel like you’re not to happy with me right now?” He phrased it in an earnest question. Just why was Stiles keeping his distance? Was it Abby? Was it being in California? Loneliness?
Stiles pushed his back off the stump and began to walk back.
“Stiles!” Derek called out. He felt defeated by that point. So the reporter was avoiding him on purpose.
The younger man balled up his fist. He stopped in his tracks and took a big breath.
“I’m just upset you didn’t tell me about Benjamin. I sat in the house for almost three weeks trying to figure out what to do. And now you tell me I could have been with him, he could have seen Destiny.”
He didn’t face Derek, he didn’t want too.
“Why won’t you leave your house? Is it me? Do you not want to be around me?”
“It’s got nothing to do with you Derek! It’s me…it’s all me.”
Stiles wrapped his arms around himself and continued to walk to the house. It only took Derek a few steps to catch up with him. He held down on Stiles’ shoulder to get him to stop before drawing the younger man into a large embrace.
“Listen to me, carefully. What ever you’re going through you are never alone. Don’t ever think for one moment that you’re alone Stiles.”
Derek could feel the younger man tense in his gasp. His arms squeezed just a little harder as he buried his face into Stiles neck.
“I have no idea what you’re going though.” He said with his lips pressed on the younger man’s nape. It’s what he did with Destiny, it calmed her. He could see it was working on Stiles too. His body was less tense, he had loosen up and actually shook when Derek spoke slowly to him.
“I want you to know that I will always be there for you, always. I will do my best to do whatever I can. If you need me to back off, I will. If you need me to send money so you can get a babysitter and go on a date or take a day to yourself, I will. You didn’t ask for this Stiles, and neither did I. But if I can do anything right, it’s to make sure that you’re happy.”
Hot tears began to streamline down Stiles’ face, his body shook repeatedly. He was fine. He wasn’t lonely. He was happy. He repeated it to himself again, and again until he could believe them, but he never did. If other people believed it though, that’s all that matter.
They stood like that for a few moments before Stiles turned to Derek and completed the hug. He cried into the man’s chest and grasped on the back of his shirt. Why was feeling like this? This had never been an issue before. He couldn’t recall a single time he felt as low as he did right then. Not even when his mother died. Not when his birth parents left him in the street.
Derek rubbed his back. He was sure to tell him over and over how important he was to Destiny. How strong he was to carry her, to keep it his secret, to love her from peanut to adorable little Destiny Ann.
Soon after, Stiles’s breathes evened out. He took deep inhales that helped clear his mind. He was fine. He wasn’t lonely. He was happy.
It was Derek who broke the hug. He wanted to make sure Stiles was doing better. The reporter seemed so small in his arms. He looked as if he had been to hell and back, all on his own. Stiles took a few steps back, wiping his eyes.
“I’m sorry for not telling you about dad.”
“I know now. I’ll be sure to bring Destiny over everyday.”
“You don’t have to go to that length. He would be happy with twice a week.”
“Derek. I literally do nothing all day.” He gave the journalist a weak smile. “I think I can handle once a day.”
Derek chuckled, resting his hand on Stiles’ shoulder. This was the same brat he once hated on the tv. Well not a brat, a very intelligent man. “I’m sure he would love that. Come on, let’s go back before they start to worry.”
There was no telling how long the pair stood in that clearing. It didn’t make a difference either way. Derek wasn’t able to get to the root of Stiles’ problem. He knew there was more, that there was something holding him back. He had to talk about it with John. With the sheriff on the look out, he could rest a little bit easier.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked next to the reporter, sure to be there if he needed any kind of support. The sun laid closer to the horizon. When they reached the house, the table was cleared. There was a hint of faint conversation inside.
Stiles stopped and looked at Derek, “How do I look?” he sniffed. Obviously he seemed like he was a hot mess. He didn’t want people to assume the worst, but he also didn’t want them to think Derek MADE him cry.
The older man smoothed down his hair and pointed out to a few boogers in his noise. Stiles tended to them quickly and gave his best smile. Unlike the others, it was real. He couldn’t have people worrying about him anymore. He had to be strong for his daughter, even if it was on the outside.
They trailed into the house together and saw only Talia and John on the couch.
“Mom,” Derek eyes shifted from side to side. “Where’s dad and Abby?”
She held a coffee mug to her lips in mid sentence, “Your dad wasn’t feeling so hot so I sent him to bed early. Abby said she’d go pick up Lawrence from Laura’s so they’ll be back shortly.”
Derek hummed to himself. He turned to Stiles and offered him a seat.
“Would you like some coffee or tea dear? Or maybe a bite to eat?”
Talia noticed how worn out Stiles was. A new baby would do that to the most prepared parent. She had no doubt in her mind Stiles was giving it his all. She just wished he would reach out to them more. She and Benjamin would love to take Destiny for a day and allow him to just rest.”
“I’m fine. Uhm…Talia?”
“Yes Stiles?”
“I was wondering…that is if you don’t mind… maybe watching Destiny tomorrow?” The thought of his daughter being so far from him sounded off bells and whistles. But he had to do it for him. He needed a break, even if it was for half a day. He could do it.
Tallia’s entire face lit up as she leaned forward, “Oh Stiles really?! Are you sure you’re fine with that? She wondered what brought the change of heart. It might have had something to do with the talk he had with Derek, maybe he could just sense it. Regardless, she would love too.
“I would love too! It would give Lawrence some time with his niece anyways. I know he needs something to do around the house.” She gave an excited laugh. “Benjamin would be delighted to have her. I know he will.”
Derek was their youngest son before Lawrence while Lawrence was the youngest after her daughter Cora. She had more grandchildren then she could ever dream of. What made Derek so different was she didn’t expect much from him. She knew he was going to do great things, but never expected a family from him.
Talia was also a realist. The world wasn’t the same one she grew up in. Seeing Derek happy made her feel like an extremely accomplished mother. It put her in a good place knowing her children were alright.
Stiles didn’t quite understand how Talia was feeling. She was beautiful, surrounded by people who loved her, an endless supply of happiness. Benjamin’s health factor was a major set back, but she didn’t let it show. He envied her confidence, her air. Was it something that came with age or was she born with it?
A clock chiming on the wall broke the reporter of his thoughts. It had been almost thirty minutes since he last ate. Was it too late? Usually he did research about that sort of thing. Maybe he still had time. All he needed was enough time to trick the stomach.
“I’m going to the restroom.” He announced, feeling like it was unnecessary. He turned the corner from the living room but immediately became lost. There were too many rooms. Stiles decided to open a few doors before one of them revealed a bathroom.
He closed the door behind him, oblivious that the lock was activated so it bounced back slightly. He took a few steps forward and got down on his knees.
He was fine.
Stiles placed a hand on the toilet ring…
He wasn’t lonely.
he leaned his body forward…
He was happy.
and slid his finger down his throat.
The door behind him pushed open wide as warm liquids traveled up his throat. His body was paralyzed with fear but it didn’t stop him from leaning into the toilet.
“Stiles?” the confused voice asked.
Chapter 2: Ground Control to Major Tom
Summary:
Stiles has been discovered on the bathroom floor. He wants to make himself better, however convincing himself is the hard part.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Benjamin knew his health was slipping from him. He smiled to himself, wondering how his family would take the news. The only ones who knew was his immediate family and the Stilinskis. Talia suggested telling everyone when they came together during Thanksgiving. They were both unsure if he would make it until Christmas.
The Hale had came to grips with his death awhile ago. It was Lawrence who he was worried about. Being sixty-two made him realize everyone had to take bad news in their own pace. His youngest son was young, almost seven in March.
He cleared his throat as he sat up in the bed. He wasn’t even tired. He had been “sent to bed” with Destiny. The infant slept in her carseat a foot or so away from him. Slowly, Benjamin pushed his feet over the bed. His eyes laid upon the cane that he refused to use.
It started off as a slow shuffle, but his body got the hang of it. He wouldn’t risk bending over to see her more clearly. Benjamin was grateful enough to hold her, however short it was.
“Destiny. You won’t even remember me will you?”
The old man mused to himself. She might, infants minds always fascinated him. He also had to remember she was a genetic. His mouth twisted at the thought. He never liked the genetic programs, mutating innocent people…it was wrong.
Benjamin didn’t love his granddaughter or her father any less for it. Not like it mattered what he thought. What’s done was done. He took a few more moments, maybe a minute or two, watching Destiny sleep. He hand a handle of grandchildren, more than he could count on one hand. There was just something more to her then her other cousins.
“Well, I won’t be here to figure it out I suppose. You are going to be a very special young lady Destiny Stilinski. It was a pleasure to have met you.”
He wasn’t always so cryptic, but the Hale also hated beating around the bush. He was stuck in the inevitable, no doubt about that. Benjamin opened the door to his bedroom. No matter how much of his health was zapped from him, he was determined to move forward.
And that forward thinking lead him straight to the bathroom. For some strange reason, Lawrence thought it would be funny to hide any electronics Benjamin owned in various locations. He remembered Talia mentioning his phone was in the bathroom. The Hale shook his head and smiled. What was he going to do with that boy…
It never came across his mind that someone would be in the guest bathroom, especially one so far away from the living room. He pushed opened the door without knocking, there was no reason too. Benjamin was greeted by Stiles Stilinski hunched over the toilet.
“Stiles?”
Benjamin moved closer and placed a hand on the reporter’s back. He didn’t know what to say so he allowed Stiles to finish.They both knew he saw the whole thing, there was no denying that. His lips where pressed thin as he patted Stiles’ back.
The reporter pulled away from the toilet. He was caught. Oh god he was caught. Benjamin had to be judging him. If he wasn’t he had to be blind but Stiles knew it wasn’t true. It was as if his knees were planted to the floor. He couldn’t and wouldn’t bring him self up to face the older man.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I’m here if you want to talk. If not, I’m going to just turn around and go.”
How he could he be so calm? What Stiles just did was wrong, maybe. It had become so normal for him he couldn’t tell anymore. If it was so normal however, why was the increasing guilt weighing him down? He had all his defenses, his rebuttals, but hearing Benjamin’s voice shattered them all.
Who was he trying to fool? Certainly not the older Hale. He felt the man pull his hand away. He could hear the shuffle as Benjamin carefully turned himself around, leaning on the sink counter for support. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to stand up. His eyes laid fixated on the toilet handle. They fell down into the bowl. His eyes closed tightly.
“Wait…” He whispered weakly.
“I have to go sit down, you’re free to follow me into the bedroom. Be sure to flush to toilet either way.”
Hale took his time as he left the bathroom. He hadn’t heard much commotion from the living room which meant he and Stiles could talk in private. That is, if the younger man wanted to talk.
Stiles did as he was told, first flushing and then washing his hands. He avoided his reflection in the mirror. He couldn’t stomach the feeling of looking at himself. It was strange, he had done it so many times before. Looked in the mirror, convinced himself that he was fine.
For three weeks it had went on. Already he noticed a difference. Between the stress with Destiny and doing light exercises, he felt better. He dealt with the meals easily. It started out with forgetting to eat, falling asleep while eating, and then it just became a habit. Not to eat.
He was constantly attacked by crippling hunger, so he decided to tease the stomach. In typical Stiles fashion, he researched the subject. There were so many negatives but the positives made it worth it. His eyes drifted up to the mirror and quickly dropped back down. He might not be able to fool Benjamin, fooling himself proved to be too easy.
Quietly, he crept from the bathroom. He didn’t know if the others were going to start looking for him. He rather they didn’t. Stiles followed the light at the end of the hall. Benjamin sat at a wooden desk while Destiny slept on the ground close to him. Did he pick her up?
He was cut off before uttering a single word.
“Close the door if you would Stiles. I want this to be a safe place for us to talk.”
The reported did as he was told. He then walked forward, unsure of where to sit.
“Anywhere is fine.”
So he sat on the bed.
“Stiles I don’t know if Derek told you or if it was ever mentioned but I have a few degrees that all correlate with neuroscience. I am certified an am bound by HIPAA regulations… I wonder if they still have that…”
He paused for a moment to remember what HIPAA even stood for. It didn’t really matter.
“Anyways, all that mumbo jumbo means that I am someone you can talk to as an ear. If you have any questions, I will answer them. If you just want me to listen, I will. It’s that simple. And if this makes you uncomfortable, you are more than welcomed to leave without a word. I’ll understand.”
Benjamin sat back in his chair. He wore a neutral expression that confused Stiles. He didn’t need a psychiatric exam, he was fine.
“I’m fine. You shouldn’t even have saw that.”
The reporter crossed his arms. He began to rub his thumb over his elbow, it kept the jitters at bay when he was nervous. He watched Benjamin’s reaction carefully. The older Hale didn’t say a word. He tilted his head and made a motion to the door.
“We should get back in the living room then. I don’t want Talia to worry about me more than necessary.”
“You aren’t going to ask me any questions?”
“You said you were fine right? I don’t want to keep you here if you don’t want to be here Stiles. That isn’t how this works. If you have something you need to say, say it.”
Benjamin didn’t like beating around the bush, he never did. He and Stiles both knew they couldn’t go back in time. So they had to either deal with it or move on. Stiles wasn’t ready to talk about it, that was fine. Benjamin didn’t force things out of people. Besides, Stiles was grown and could determine if he needed or wanted help.
Using the chair as support, Benjamin began to lift himself up. Maybe he did need that cane after all.
“Ok.”
Stiles muttered quietly.
“I have something to say…”
The Hale tilted his head and eased himself back down. His hands rested on his knees, eyes forward. The neutral expression never left his face. Stiles couldn’t tell what the older man was thinking and it was killing him.
“I-I…” he stammered slowly. The reporter was searching for the right words but there was none.
“I don’t know where to start.”
“That’s fine. Why don’t we start with some breathing exercises? No doubt your mind is running a million miles a second, or it feels that way?”
Benjamin instructed Stiles how to ground himself in his spot, the inhaled and exalted together about ten times. He could feel himself calming down, his heart wasn’t beating as fast.
“Better?”
“Yes.”
“Good. So, what do you have to say?”
Stiles took a deep breath in just as Benjamin showed him before talking, “I don’t understand…why I care so much about how I look.” Pre-baby bump, Stiles felt like he was a skinny little nobody and it never bothered him one bit. Post-baby bump everything changed.
“As someone who has never had a baby for, and who is an only child, I am going to say you have never actually been around pregnancy before correct?”
The reporter quietly nodded his head.
“I’m sure that you read all the books, you watched every video available, you went above and beyond to be prepared?”
Again, a simple nod.
“The one thing most people forget to do is prepare the mind. You knew you were going to have a baby, you knew your life was going to change. But did you tell yourself there was going to be physical changes or emotional ones?”
“I read about all those things!”
“That’s good, now apply them to you. Remember everything you read. Now how does it relate to you?”
Stiles sat in silence. How was he suppose to apply everything he read to himself? They were mostly help books, nothing that related to his situation.
“There is this rather archaic method, again I’m out of the loop but blogs? Do people still do that?”
The reporter had to hide his smile, “Yes, but vlogs are more popular now.”
“I’m sorry? Vlogs?”
“Video logs basically. You can watch them instead of read them if you prefer.”
“Ah. That does seem convenient. The point I’m trying to make is all those help books don’t put you in the place you’re going to be in ten months from then. What you need is someone else’s pair of eyes to look through. And I’m not talking about that genetic stuff so keep your smiles to yourself.”
The air had become less stiff, Stiles felt more at ease as he explained to Benjamin why he began purging, his body insecurities and how they were blown way out of proportion. The Hale sat back in his chair, motionless. The only signs of life was when he would blink as if he knew Stiles was watching him, just waiting for it.
He began to cry when he recounted how lonely he felt in the house. He could barely speak and became a blubbering mess when he brought up the stress with Destiny. Benjamin pointed to a box of tissues on the night stand.
“God and I love her so much,” Stiles blew his nose and pulled another tissue to dab his eyes with. “It’s just she cries for no reason sometimes. I do everything I can think of and she just cries and cries until she cries herself to think. I feel like I’m just horrible at this parent stuff if I can’t even stop her crying.”
At this Benjamin chuckled. He chose the time where Stiles was feeling at his lowest to laugh at him?!
“Don’t misunderstand me Stiles. I’ve been there plenty of times. But never from that perspective. You’ll have to forgive me on the terms I use. If I say something out of context feel free to correct me. What I mean is, that motherly woes. First parent blues? Do you understand what I’m talking about? Talia went through it with all of our children. And I best you can guess who the worst was.”
“Derek?” the reporter sniffed, still searching for a pretty good explanation for the smiles.
“You bet your ass, Derek. My god, that boy had some lungs. Now this is before I finished my PHD. I was taking care of my family first, school later and I was… thirty-four? Thirty-five? Well, it was before I had all the qualifications to really know what was going on.”
The older Hale smiled wider. “Stiles when I tell you he would cry at the sight of me, he would just scream. I delivered him like I did all my children. I was the first face he saw. So imagine my horror when my own son, my precious child screamed the moment I entered the room. And Talia, she thought it was so funny. So here I am, almost thirty years later and I still have no idea what was wrong.”
Stiles’ eyebrows knitted together, “So? You never figured out why he cried? How did you get over it?”
Benjamin shrugged nonchalantly, “Talia had to take Laura to basketball practice which left Derek alone with me for a few hours. I’m sure by now you guessed he was screaming his face black and blue. Eventually I got fed up. I laid him on his stomach and let him cry.”
The reporter caught on to the story eventually. There was nothing Benjamin could do at that point. Derek was going to be happy no matter what.
“We were at a stalemate Derek and I. I just wanted to get him to stop crying and he wanted me to go away. He cried for thirty minutes. That was the worst thirty minutes of my entire life. You can’t drown them out, you have to listen to them just in case. When he stopped, I thought he cried himself to sleep.”
Benjamin was sharing an intimate part of his life with Stiles. The reporter didn’t know if this equated to a deathbed revelation or if it was going to help him with Destiny and most importantly, himself.
“I walked over to his crib, I saw he was wide awake. I don’t know what he was thinking about, probably considering the benefits of me holding him. Maybe he was hungry or needed a diaper change. I didn’t know. I picked him up and cradled him like any newborn and he just looked up at me. Once we established I wasn’t an enemy, we got along just fine.”
“I don’t…”
“Babies do what they want to do and there’s absolutely nothing we can do to understand why. Without violating and probing their minds, we as parents, are left completely in the dark. When you start thinking you’re a terrible parent all that means is you’re a fantastic parent. A real parent cares whether they’re doing their jobs right or not. Anyone can have a child that doesn’t mean everyone can be a parent. Are you getting me Stiles? I can see your mind reeling from here.”
Benjamin was right. He couldn’t only take in so much advice, and he had nothing to write it down with.
“I don’t want her to be unhappy Benjamin. When she cries, I want her to know that I’m right there for her.”
The Hale stopped the younger man before he dove back into his rambling.
“That’s all good and well Stiles, but from a realistic standpoint babies only have so many goals. The main ones are eat, sleep, poop, pee, cry, repeat. What sucks is there is no order to the madness. They can completely change it up on a whim.”
Stiles nodded in agreement. What he wanted was for his daughter was for her to be happy. Maybe she was happy, he simply couldn’t see it because he didn’t have an effective way to communicate with her.
“Thanks Benjamin…can I call you Ben? Uncle Ben?”
“Benjamin please…and I’m not your uncle so I have no idea why you would even think that would be ok.”
The younger man shrug was small. Why did he do anything was beyond him.
“And you are very welcome Stiles. I’m here 24/7. Is there anything else you wish to talk about? I’m surprised Talia hasn’t come in here by now.”
“I’m equally surprised how quiet Destiny is. It’s almost 8…I should wake her up or she’ll be up all night.”
Without a word, the reporter picked up the sleeping infant. She opened and closed her eyes multiple times. He next reaction was to yawn while adjusting her eyes to the light. The daddy person was back. Did he bring food with him was the important question.
Stiles slowly rocked her in his arms and took a step back onto the bed.
“I was thinking, about what you saw in the bathroom…is it hard to stop?”
Again, Stiles had convinced himself it was fine, he was fine and didn’t need to think anything of it. The last thing he wanted was to see someone about his problems. They were already so deep in the conversation, it would be stupid to walk away.
“That all depends on you, if you want to stop you can stop Stiles. I’m no nutritionist but I do know we would have to reintroduce solids to you slowly. Maybe through smoothies, soups or light salads. But I don’t want this to be my idea. It has to be yours or it will never work.”
The reporter nodded eagerly. He couldn’t keep lying to himself. If he couldn’t do it for himself he could do it for Destiny. Destiny was his everything.
“I want to add that what you’re doing is dangerous. You might not want to hear it, I don’t blame you. I have never been in your shoes. You’ll have to fill me in if you wish so I can understand more of the situation you’re in.”
And so Stiles elaborated further than his body hated. It had been everything. He was eating so much more after Destiny was born, and he couldn’t stop himself. Once he was on his own taking care of her, he couldn’t find time to eat. It was as if he was on scales that wouldn’t balance out.
All the while, Benjamin listened silent. He wasn’t thinking of any ways to help him, only listened as he said he would do. Stiles found it very comforting.
The pair talked for a long while. Stiles knew that change wasn’t going to happen over night. He was willing to try and hope for the best.
“I’m glad you’ll be bringing Destiny over more. Lawrence would like that. He loves all his nieces and nephews. Talia works in her office so we’ll have more opportunities to talk privately if you wish. Had me that cane would you? I give and I’ll use the damned thing.”
Destiny had been sucking on Stiles’ finger so she wouldn’t cry as they were talking. Eventually she would catch on that the hunger in her stomach wasn’t going away. With her secured in his arm, Stiles helped Benjamin from his chair and together they made their way to the door.
As Stiles opened it, there stood Abby in a mid knocking position.
“Oh Stiles! And Benjamin I didn’t expect you to be awake. Uhm, the others sent me to come and check up on you. Well actually, I know Talia must extremely tired after cooking all that delicious food so I volunteered. Guilty.”
She smiled a wonderfully large smile that made Stiles sick to his stomach. Maybe he was a little jealous after all.
They talked for another hour or two. Benjamin continued to dote on his granddaughter. For the first time in eleven months, Stiles had a peace wash over him.
Obviously, he had a long way to go. He didn't expect an immediate 360 in his life but talking to Benjamin put him in a good place.
The Stilinskis rolled out with a sleeping baby. The reporter was worried that she was sleeping too much. He was fully convinced she was sick. While his father rolled his eyes and passed it off as first-parents-woes.
Even with his father's reassurance, Stiles couldn't shake the feeling. In the back of his mind there was something bothering him. He let it slip away to a small thought as he ran a bath for her.
Thinking about it, Destiny hadn't seen Derek in almost a month. Being around him for the first few moment of her life, she must have built an expectation to see him more.
It was a phase, eventually she would have to realize that her other father wasn't always going to be around. Stiles felt horrible but that was the reality. The overwhelming pressure of being a single parent was also the reality.
Stiles laid on his back once he reached his bed and closed his eyes. Destiny was silently asleep, silent as the grave. It was the first time in a month that she slept so soundly.
While it was all well and good,questions began to bombard him. He finally got a night to himself to just rest after an emotionally tiring day. Why the hell couldn't he turn off his brain? For the first time in a long time he could just breathe.
He closed his eyes tighter. Without Derek, without Benjamin, how would his night be? He folded his arms on his chest, there was something about feeling the breath enter and exit him that added to the peace.
Eventually he did drift off to sleep. His skepticism didn't subside about Destiny's health, but he decided to take a page out of the Hale's book and let it go for the night.
Instead of a crying baby, Stiles was awoken by the high sun. It's rays reached out to him through the window. He awoke feeling refreshed. He kicked the sheets off of him an went to wake his daughter instead she wasn't there.
Breakfast smells loomed over his head. Instantly he figured John must have took her while he was knocked out.
Stiles fingers slid down the banister as yesterday's events reeled in his mind. He expected to be greeted by his father and Destiny. He prepared himself to lecture his father about the sausage he smelled.
But no. Standing in front of the stove was no other than Benjamin Hale. Destiny bounced happily her he chair, reaching out to her tiger She had the largest smile on her face when she locked eyes with Stiles.
"G'morning..." The reporter mumbled. He was thoroughly confused. Maybe he was still asleep. No matter how many times he blinked, the old Hale stood tall, leaning on his cane.
"Your dad told me you've been stressed. Also considering our conversation yesterday, we need to introduce food to you slowly. You said 3 weeks you've been purging right?"
Stiles slowly nodded, looking around for his father.
"Don't worry, he left to get some groceries I suggested. He has no idea why. I hope you forgive me for barging in. I wanted you to know yesterday's conversation meant something to me. As long as you're here I'm going to help me if you permit. "
He had made light eggs and liquid juice. To the side of the juicer, did they ever own a juicer, the after life of the fruit laid. Their pulp mocked him, crying out for help. That was that.
"Hi sunshine! " stiles leaned over and gave his daughter a huge kiss on her lips. The little girl gave him a toothless grin. She was his light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how difficult his life got.
"Thank you Benjamin. " he said quietly. He slid In a kitchen chair direct from his daughter. He watched as Benjamin made slow strides toward him with the juice first.
"Drink this slowly, allow it to sit in your stomach. We'll start with this first for lunch too. For dinner, let me know how you're feeling and I'll make you soup with some solid proteins."
Stiles nodded and took the glass to his lips. Immediately he cringed and coughed. His balked at the glass as if it had attacked him in an aerial assault.
"Are you trying to help me or murder me?" His eyes never left the glass, afraid it might sprout legs and arms and force it's self down his throat.
"The first thing you're tasting is the ginger. It pairs well with apple vinegar and black beans also. The black beans I feel give it a velvety texture. It's a mixture between smoothie and juicing. My own little mixture."
Benjamin chuckled when Stiles expression didn't change. He joined the younger man at the table
••
with the breakfast he’d made for himself.
Somewhere in there, Stiles saw the making of a saint and the presence of a monster. He always hated smoothies and milkshakes and anything that dealt with the desecration of fruit. He was one of those who preferred to eat the fruit as it was intended, whole.
“Black beans though? I don’t even taste them.” Stiles swirled the cup around in his head. His figure was hunched over the table with the thoughts of throwing this up later.
“Yes. Black beans, you need to put proteins back in your body.”Benjamin retorted. His eyes focused in on a newspaper laid infant of him. The younger man craned his neck over, interested in what gained the older Hale’s attention.
“Anything good?”
“Only about you disappearing. The rest is genetic garbage.”
“What do you have against genetics?” Stiles could tell by the way Benjamin reacted, he had to have had a negative experience.
“My great-great-grandfather and his brother headed a division up in Canada in the late 20’s”
“2020?”
“No, 1920’s. Genetic experiments are older than many people think. They did horrible things to infants and pregnant women, all still very much alive. When the second world war arrived, they jumped ship to the Nazis, eager for Germany’s funding. They had many subjects in those camps.”
The older man paused for a moment. He didn’t like talking about his families dark past. While the two men were disowned from the family, it didn’t make it any less true. The unspeakable things they did for this ‘genetic’ advancement. It wasn’t worth it.
Stiles spun his straw in his drink, eager to ask more questions.
“How come I’m just now hearing about this?”
“Drink your smoothie Stiles. I brought a book for you and I think you’ll like it.”
“But I want to know what’s truly going on Benjamin!” The reporter rebelled. His daughter shook at the loudness of his voice. “That’s why I became journalist. I want to know the truth, and in turn spread that truth.”
“Because there are some things the world should never know!” Benjamin had calmly placed his fork besides the empty plate. He slowly stood to his feet and signed a sigh that sent a chill up Stiles’ spine.
“I didn’t mean to shout. It’s a very difficult subject to talk about. When one’s own family is apart of something that defies nature. Stiles I don’t hate genetics. I don’t hate you and I especially don’t hate Destiny. This is something I’ve had to live with my entire life. I just doubt it will ever change.”
Benjamin supported himself on his cane to make way for the sink. He washed his few dishes and the pots he had used and left them to dry.
Stiles pressed his lips thin. He could feel how the subject upset Benjamin, but he needed this story. It would in turn, shed negative light on the Hale family. Is that why the older man kept it hidden from the world? To protect his family?
As far as Stiles was concerned, Benjamin married into the Hale family. He had no idea what his last name truly was. That eliminates a quick Google search. However, was something Stiles couldn’t let go. He needed to do his best to stay as close as possible to the older man.
Perhaps he could get Benjamin to see reason. Something that happened so long ago would be a major revelation. Benjamin would be herald as a hero for bringing this new information to the light! Stiles could envision it all, the interview, the amount of understand of the genetics program, even who he was a genetic.
All that was mute for the time being. Benjamin had deeply expressed that he did not wish to speak about it any further. That was fine, Stiles could wait. He was very patient indeed. There was a fire that lit inside of him, something he hadn’t felt for a long time. Passion.
—
The following days went by with Benjamin coming over, spending time with Destiny, and talking to Stiles with what ever the reporter wished to talk about. Except for that topic, anything but that topic. It frustrated Stiles to no end. He was being good! He was eating again, he was reading the book Benjamin had given him.
“Eat, Pray, Love” was the title. He never heard of it before but from the moment he began to flip through the pages, Stiles was transported to another world. He spent late nights in his room, knees drawn to his chest, just reading aloud to his baby.
When he hit page 54, he was transfixed. His eyes moved across the following words:
‘…I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.’
As the sentence came to a close, Stiles silently wept to himself. He curled into a ball with the book pressed to his chest and wept. Destiny was asleep. She had been for awhile and the last thing he wanted to do was disturb her.
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. It rested over his mouth where he wept some more. He heaved silently before closing his eyes. He didn’t expect to be this emotional over an old book. Stiles shook for a moment before releasing a contempt sigh.
Notes:
Some unexpected and much needed freelance work came up and I need the money. Here is what I've written from last Sunday to this Sunday -it is 2 days late I apologize-
I will still be writing and posting chapters, they may not be as long as I would like and less frequent.
Thank you for reading!
india (Guest) on Chapter 1 Tue 03 Nov 2015 01:49AM UTC
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