Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Heavy misfortunes have befallen us, but let us only cling closer to what remains, and transfer our love for those whom we have lost to those who yet live. Our circle will be small, but bound close by the ties of affection and mutual misfortune. And when time shall have softened your despair, new and dear objects of care will be born to replace those of whom we have been so cruelly deprived.” –Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

—--------------------------------

Hang on Rin, Kakashi, I’m coming!

Obito repeated his teammates’ names in his mind on repeat, like a mantra to keep him moving forward. If he stopped thinking about why he was pushing through so much pain and fatigue, he might just drop dead right then and there. He knew his body wasn’t ready for this kind of exertion, at least not without the help of his creepy plant monster friend(?) that had wrapped around him like a living cocoon. But it didn’t matter. His teammates were in danger! Rin was in danger! That reminder alone was enough to keep gritting his teeth against the protests of his overworked, still healing body. 

His heartbeat sped up as the smell of blood hit him. In the distance, he heard the sound of birds chirping, and metal hitting metal. He was just starting to make out distinct figures on the horizon, but they were too far to tell who was who. Even with his Sharingan activated, the distance and the tree cover made it impossible to distinguish friend and foe. 

The reckless part of him wanted to call out to his team as he got closer. A voice, one that sounded remarkably like Minato-sensei, berated him for this idea. As far as they knew, he was dead! A ghost showing up and yelling their names would only distract them. 

See, he could think logically! It was a very important trait for a future Hokage, after all. 

Finally, finally , Obito was able to begin to distinguish the battle ahead of him. He could see Kakashi’s distinctive silver hair, almost like a beacon in the dim forest. Rin was beside him, and Obito’s heart warmed at the realization that Kakashi was protecting her. 

He had actually listened to Obito’s last words! 

Not that Obito actually thought Kakashi would leave his own comrades undefended during battle. He was a jerk, and a bastard, but he wasn’t completely heartless. He’d saved Obito’s ass on missions more than Obito cared to admit. Still, Obito swore that Kakashi seemed to be fighting extra hard. 

And he had to! They were surrounded! And oddly enough, Rin didn’t really seem to be trying to help fight. She was trying to say something to Kakashi, but Obito was still too far to hear it, particularly over the sound of the wind roaring in his ears. It was strange, because even though Rin was a medic, she wasn’t helpless. They had drilled numerous formations for if one, two, or all three of them were surrounded by enemies like this. Rin was always good at remembering those formations too, unlike Obito. He always stood in the wrong place, or got in the way of his teammates. 

But not Rin. Rin always knew what to do, and where she needed to be. So why wasn’t she trying to help? Why–

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. One minute Kakashi’s arm was alight with lightning, aiming toward an enemy that was trying to cut both him and Rin down. And then, his arm was through Rin’s chest instead. 

If he hadn’t been watching, he wouldn’t have understood what happened. Hell, he’d been watching and he still didn’t really understand. Rin clearly saw Kakashi aim for the enemy nin and ready his jutsu. She had been well out of the way, and nowhere near the trajectory of Kakashi’s attack. And then, she had thrown herself in front of him. She had thrown herself in front of his attack. 

He couldn’t see Rin’s face from where he was, but he could see Kakashi’s. His Sharingan captured every minute expression that crossed his teammate’s face. First, determination as he bravely threw himself at a much larger enemy. Then, confusion when a much smaller target appeared without warning. Next, shock as he recognized who was now in front of him. Finally, sheer horror when he realized it was too late to redirect. 

Even though Obito had realized before his supposed final moments that Kakashi did in fact care for his teammates, he still hadn’t expected the amount of emotion on the younger boy’s face as his arm pierced Rin’s chest. Even without the Sharingan, Obito didn’t think he’d be able to forget the wide-eyed panic, desperation, and violent self-hatred that so clearly consumed Kakashi as he realized what he’d done. Nor could he forget the way Kakashi recoiled, yanking his arm back as fast as possible, even though the effort was futile. He watched the brief moment where Kakashi glanced down at his own arm, covered in blood and lightning burns, and his face went deathly pale. In Obito’s last moments of coherence, right before a scream tore its way out of his chest and red overtook his vision, he saw Kakashi catch Rin’s prone body. Even as their enemies closed in around him, he caught her, and lowered her carefully to the ground. 

After that, it was hard to remember exactly what happened. All Obito could remember was pain , and blood. So much blood. He could remember an excruciating, sharp pain behind his eye, and a burning rage like he’d never felt before. He had brief flashes of enemies impaled on wooden spikes, but he didn’t really remember being the one to do it. It was like he blinked, and then the world was soaked in red. 

The only reason his senses came back was because he had latched onto Rin’s lifeless body. He held her and cried, bawling and wailing like a child. He held her until her skin was starting to cool, and his desperate sobs turned into hiccuping gasps. When he had finally cried himself out, and screamed until his throat was raw, he was finally able to see what he’d done. 

The enemy nin were dead, and Obito felt a vicious sense of satisfaction at that realization. He didn’t remember how he’d managed to cut them all down, nor did he remember doing so quite so savagely. He didn’t feel guilty about their brutal deaths, not in the slightest. They deserved it for what they’d done to Rin. And to–

He remembered Kakashi. Inhaling sharply, Obito glanced around him, locating his remaining teammate’s equally still form. Looking at Kakashi made the rage start to bubble up again. He gently laid Rin down in the least bloody patch of grass he could find, before stalking over to the unconscious Kakashi. Obito didn’t even remember seeing Kakashi go down. Perhaps he hadn’t been spared in Obito’s rampage. He couldn't remember, so it was possible he’d slaughtered Kakashi with the rest of the scum. It was what he deserved after killing Rin. After forsaking his promise. After–

Kakashi’s chest rose shakily. He was still alive. There was a trail of blood dripping down his cheek, falling from the eye that Obito had given him. Kakashi didn’t deserve that eye. He’d killed Rin. He’d killed his friend. He was scum . Scum didn’t deserve a gift like that. 

Obito reached out with bloody fingers, letting them hover over Kakashi’s lax face. He could do it. He could rip that eye out. He could return it to where it belonged, and then go back to Madara. The old man was right. This world was a dark, vile, irredeemable place. 

From Kakashi’s other eye, a single tear dripped down his cheek. It followed a path nearly parallel to the blood from Obito’s Sharingan. It was such a small thing, but it stirred something in him. Through the rage, Obito remembered Kakashi’s broken expression as he killed–as Rin killed herself. 

Yes, Rin had killed herself, and she’d used Kakashi to do it. He didn’t understand why. Was it a genjutsu? Blackmail? An enemy technique? He didn’t know, but suddenly he felt sick. He retched a few times, but nothing came up. Afterall, he hadn’t really eaten actual food since he’d been brought to the cave. He actually didn’t seem to need to eat anymore. 

Now that he’d remembered, he couldn’t stop replaying the scene in his mind. Kakashi attacking the enemy nin. Rin jumping in front of him. The way Kakashi broke . He’d never seen Kakashi show emotion like that before. He had a vague memory of Kakashi crying when Obito had been caught under the boulder, but those memories were thankfully very jumbled. 

The way that Kakashi had looked when his attack struck Rin would haunt Obito forever. It wasn’t right. Kakashi didn’t look like that. He was above it all. 

But–

But Rin had used him to commit suicide. 

Kakashi’s father had committed suicide. 

Once, he would have thought Kakashi was unaffected by his father’s death. Minato-sensei had explained otherwise. Kakashi’s obsession with the rules, how he kept people at arm’s length, it all made sense. The way Kakashi shattered when Rin jumped in front of his attack, it made sense. 

Kakashi wasn’t going to be ok, not really. He’d pretend he was, and he’d hide it, but he’d never be able to really put all the pieces back together. 

Did that matter, in the long run? If Madara succeeded, there would be a better world for Kakashi too. Rin would never have–shit, why did she do that? He didn’t understand! It had to be because the world was rotten, that’s what Madara would say, but he still didn’t get it. Why would she feel the need to kill herself at all, let alone by Kakashi’s hand?

Obito could never, ever hate Rin, but he found himself surprisingly angry when he thought about the state she’d left Kakashi in. She must have had no choice. She must have been forced. Because the alternative was that she knew exactly what she was doing and still did it anyway. She’d broken Kakashi, and then left him.

Isn’t that what you were going to do? The voice that sounded like Minato-sensei asked. It drowned out the sickly sweet cooing from his unwanted companion, who was still wrapped around him. He heard it whispering to him, telling him to go back to Madara, but he wasn’t ready. He couldn’t. 

Even if he was loath to admit it, Kakashi was his friend. And if there was one thing Obito believed, it was that only scum abandoned their friends. He could get back to Madara eventually, but he just couldn’t stomach the thought of leaving Kakashi alone right now. 

So he didn’t. Guruguru, however, did. It detached itself without another word, letting Obito fall to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. Without the creature supporting him, Obito felt all the pain and exhaustion nearly overtake him. It took everything he had to stay conscious and tend to his teammates. He barely managed to crawl forward toward his fallen companions, pulling himself desperately with one arm. 

First, he checked Kakashi’s pulse with a shaky hand. It was strong and regular, and there were no major wounds anywhere on him. Probably just chakra exhaustion and mental fatigue, then. Kakashi could wait for help to find them. And Rin…

Well, it was obviously too late, but he couldn’t leave her in such a sorry state. 

When Konoha found them, Minato himself was leading the charge. He took in the gruesome scene in front of him with wide eyes, doing an actual double take when he located his students. Obito with no more strength to spare, laid out on his back in between his teammates, chest heaving and barely conscious. Rin was surrounded by a halo of wildflowers that he’d painstakingly picked for her, her hands set peacefully over her chest. Kakashi was, admittedly, not quite so tenderly cared for, but he was obviously alive. 

Despite the harsh whispers of betrayal and promises of retribution that he expected from Madara, Obito still managed to look up at his sensei and smile sadly. From the way that Minato’s eyes narrowed dangerously, then widened comically, it seemed to have taken him a few moments to recognize Obito. That was fair, he supposed. He hadn’t looked in a mirror since before Kannabi Bridge, but he knew he must look different. His hair covered his eyes and felt matted and heavy against his back. And then, of course, there were the scars and the unnatural pale skin. He probably didn’t look much like himself anymore. 

Although, after everything he’d been through, he wasn’t sure if he really felt like himself either. 

—--------------------------------

Obito started to think about his life in terms of before and after. Before Kannabi Bridge, and after. Before Madara, and after. Before Rin’s death, and after. 

Before, Obito had been just a no-name chunin. A disgrace to the Uchiha. Dead last. 

After, he was a war hero. He wielded the Uchiha clan’s precious doujutsu. He’d single-handedly struck down more than a dozen jounin and ANBU level enemy shinobi, even if he had no memory of how he’d done it. And apparently, he had access to the Shodaime’s signature jutsu, which hadn’t been seen in this world since the man’s death (not that Obito had any sort of control over it). 

Before, he’d been a naive boy with big dreams and a crush on a pretty girl.

After, he questioned his place in the world and if the world was really worth anything at all. 

Admittedly, some of those thoughts did improve after the seal on his heart was removed. Thanks to Kushina, who also welcomed him home with a warm and tearful hug. A lot of tearful hugs, actually. And then a couple of punches (which Minato and the nurses protested vehemently about) in retaliation for worrying her so much. Was it weird that he’d missed Kushina’s almost violent form of physical affection? 

Either way, Obito was grateful for her. For her warm welcome, and for her fuuinjutsu skills. Who else would have not only found but removed such a small, subtle thing without any lasting side-effects? Obito didn’t remember Madara putting it on him, but he was pissed. They didn’t know exactly what it was supposed to do, but clearly it wasn’t anything good. What else had that freaky old man done to him? 

When questioned about the seal, Obito could genuinely tell Minato he had no idea when it was put on or what it was for. He also had no idea how his new appendages actually worked, or how he was able to use moukuton. He didn’t even remember that he could! Minato was the one that put the pieces together, having seen the aftermath of what Obito had done to the enemy nin, along with discovering that it was the Shodaime’s cells that had helped him survive. 

When questioned about Madara, however, Obito did have information to give, he just didn’t want to talk about it. He just tried to convince himself that it didn’t feel like it was a betrayal to give away the old man’s secrets. Afterall, Madara was clearly insane and did not have Obito’s best interests at heart. So why did he feel so torn about talking about it? 

Well, one answer was because it was obviously unpleasant. He didn’t like thinking about how helpless he’d felt in the cave, or how much pain he’d been in. And he really didn’t like thinking about Madara ordering the Zetsus to hold him down while he did something with the Shodaime’s cells he’d implanted and Obito wouldn’t stop screaming and thrashing and begging for Minato-sensei to come save him–

It was difficult to decide if Minato’s guilty face after having that particular memory unveiled by the Yamanaka Mind Walk was better or worse than just outright lying to his sensei about what he could remember. It probably would have been more believable to say that he didn’t know who saved him, or why. The alternative was that Konoha’s version of the boogeyman was living in a cave with a bunch of sentient plant creatures, and had chosen to save his very distant, and very unremarkable descendant. Minato, and everyone else that had been allowed to hear Obito’s testimony, certainly hadn’t believed him at first anyway. 

Obito kept wondering if they’d come for him, Madara and his bizarre creatures. Every day, even though he continued to wake up in his hospital bed, he kept wondering. There was no Madara, no Swirly, no Guruguru, or anything else from the cave. He’d woken up alone and disoriented in the hospital after passing out shortly after Minato’s arrival at the battle. His transplanted arm was in rough shape and unusable, but neither Madara nor his cronies had come to collect Obito while he was unconscious. He avoided telling Minato about this particular concern, for the moment. He didn’t want to alarm his sensei. 

Not when he didn’t know if he should go back. 

He was pissed that the old bastard had slapped a seal on his heart, and made very permanent and painful alterations to his body without his consent. But on the other hand, it wasn’t like Obito would have been able to say yes or no. He did save Obito’s life, and give him a future. He also opened Obito’s eye to the true nature of the world. Even if he could now understand how batshit insane the old man’s plan was, he couldn’t decide if he truly disagreed with it. There were times when the pain was so intense that he didn’t give a shit whether Madara was crazy or not. 

Some days, he still struggled to see how a world that drove a kind-hearted girl to use her friend to commit suicide could have any redeeming qualities. Sensei had explained Kakashi’s version of events, that Rin had the Sanbi sealed in her and jumped in front of Kakashi’s attack to prevent it from being released in Konoha. The truth did nothing to make him feel better. 

There was a storm swirling inside him. Relief at being out of the cave. A sharp grief over Rin’s death. General apathy for the world as a whole. His body hurt, and the med nin didn’t know what to do with him. Whatever Madara had done with the Shodaime’s cells had them all stumped. His body hadn’t finished healing after the massive trauma from the boulder, and all the med nin insisted he shouldn’t be alive. They also insisted that he should be missing an arm and a leg. 

Despite having all four limbs, his artificial arm had been severely damaged, and they didn’t know how to fix it. It hung uselessly by his side, mangled and unnaturally pale. If he really concentrated he could kind of move his shoulder, but that was it. The med nin gave him medications and orders for physical therapy, and Obito went along with everything in a daze. They seemed to think that the arm was repairing itself, though the process was slow and they weren’t sure how long it would take or if it would ever be fully functional again. 

Every day was a daze of medications, pain, interrogations, grief, and discontent. On repeat. Kushina caught him up on current events, as much as she could, but it barely felt real to Obito. For all he knew, this was the dream, and he was still in the cave with Madara. 

The war ended. Minato was made Hokage. He and Kushina got married.The world had continued spinning without him while he’d been trapped in that cave. 

He didn’t know how much time passed in the haze of rage and grief. It felt like he was in a fugue state, half the time. Kushina was the only one who could reliably snap him out of one of his sour moods, or pull him back from the nightmares that liked to play on repeat in his mind. Minato was pretty good at it too, but he just couldn’t be around as much, since he was busy with his Hokage duties. 

Conversely, Kushina seemed to spend as much time as possible at the hospital with him while he was awake. She said it was because she was bored and lonely at home, currently on leave from missions thanks to a nasty stomach bug that she said knocked her on her ass. 

Obito knew she was just trying to make him feel better about monopolizing her time, and relying on her so much for companionship. It wasn’t like he really had anyone else to come spend time with him. His clan hated him now more than ever, since he’d given their “sacred” doujutsu to an outsider. In his defense, he’d thought he was dying! Despite how the clan head himself came by to scold Obito for refusing to take his eye back from Kakashi, Obito wouldn’t budge on that particular topic. It was a gift, dammit, and you didn’t take back gifts!  

Even before his clan’s worsening opinion of him, Rin had been his only real friend. He’d been friendly with their classmates, but he knew they’d all looked down on him, and definitely made fun of him when they thought he couldn’t hear. It came with the territory of being the absolute bottom of your class. 

Some of his classmates, the ones that had typically been nicer to him anyway, did come by to visit. They brought gifts and flowers that should have made him feel loved and wanted, but mostly just made him feel hollow. He could tell that they were genuinely happy to have him back, but he could also tell that they didn’t know what to think about his manner of return. They looked at him with a disgusting amount of pity, and he didn’t know what to do with it. 

The official story was that he’d been captured and held behind enemy lines, then experimented on by the enemy as part of their war efforts. Minato, and the handful of high ranking officers he trusted with the real information, were keeping Madara’s identity and involvement a secret. Until they had more proof than the hazy memories of one bottom of the barrel chunin, it was unlikely anyone would take the information seriously anyway. Plus, Minato had enough to deal with, still picking up the pieces from the end of the war and trying to maintain the tentative peace he’d helped establish. Considering they were unsuccessful in their attempts to find the cave Obito had been kept in, there wasn’t much they could do at the moment anyway. 

And then there was Kakashi, who had yet to actually speak to him. Obito knew Kakashi was around, and that he was around a lot. Sometimes, when he was loopy on pain meds, he felt a warm hand gripping his own, and caught a flash of silver in his delirious eyes. But Kakashi would be gone by the time his coherence returned. 

Kakashi avoided him, but hovered. The two ideas were contradictory and shouldn’t be possible together, but Kakashi was called a prodigy for a reason. Kakashi’s wild, crackling chakra always stayed just out of sight, but Obito knew it was there. Outside on a tree branch, around a corner, or at the edge of his awareness, but never letting its presence be obvious. 

It grated on his nerves more than he wanted it to, the fact that Kakashi seemed to do anything to avoid looking at or talking to him. How much time had he spent avoiding Kakashi while they were on a team together, just wishing for a few minutes of peace from the smug bastard? And yet, he kept getting more and more pissed off with every day that Kakashi wouldn’t talk to him. Clinging onto the anger and resentment was almost comforting, when the alternative was either a bottomless grief, or feeling nothing at all. 

His anger toward Kakashi’s avoidance was the only thing that could push through the apathy and grief on some days. Why was Kakashi avoiding him ? Had he truly become that repulsive after his time in the cave? He didn’t think Kakashi was that shallow, but it was the only explanation he could come up with. Minato and Kushina insisted that he cared, and on some level Obito knew he did, but it was still difficult to come to terms with Kakashi’s aloofness after everything they’d been through.

He hadn’t even thanked Obito for saving his life! 

Maybe he didn’t want you to , Sensei’s voice reasoned sadly in his mind. 

Was that it? Was Kakashi upset that Obito hadn’t left him to die? The look on Kakashi’s face when he killed Rin was not one of a man who planned to live beyond the night. He had seemed to let his guard down when Rin died, more concerned with the aftermath of her suicide than the enemies that had still surrounded them. 

Well, fuck him, then. Obito wasn’t going to feel guilty about not letting his teammate die. And he wouldn’t say he regretted it either. He wasn’t sure about his own path yet, and if he regretted coming back to Konoha himself, but he didn’t regret saving Kakashi. Even if he hadn’t really been in control of himself when he’d done it, he liked to think that a subconscious part of him recognized that Kakashi was in danger, and that’s why he hadn’t ended up as another victim in Obito’s rampage. Because at this point, he couldn’t lie about caring about Kakashi. He’d given him his Sharingan, for fuck’s sake! He wouldn’t ask for it back, no matter how much the Uchiha clan head disapproved, even if Kakashi kept acting like a bastard. Kakashi might be a rude jerk, but Obito gave a shit about manners and would not ask him to return a gift. 

“You’re doing it again,” Kushina sighed, watching Obito’s most recent depressive spiral with a sadness in her eyes that she couldn’t hide completely behind her usual snarky attitude. 

“What am I doing?” Obito asked disinterestedly as Kushina’s voice pulled him out of his brooding. He’d honestly been so busy wallowing in his own misery that he’d completely forgotten she’d come to visit. How long had she been there? It was hard to keep track of time from within the hospital’s sterile white walls. 

Kushina raised an eyebrow at him, as if confused by how he didn’t immediately know what she was talking about. “Scowling at the air.” 

He hadn’t realized what he was doing, but now that Kushina had pointed it out, it actually made the scowl deepen. “Don’t you think I’ve earned a little scowling after everything I’ve been through?” 

“Well sure, as long as you fix your face before the nurse comes in this time,” she chastised. “You scared that poor woman half to death! I didn’t even know you were capable of making such an angry face.” 

“It’s the scar tissue,” Obito replied dryly, “and the creepy fake skin. Works great with the whole freak of nature thing I have going on.” 

Kushina punched him in the arm (his actual flesh and blood arm, not the half destroyed plant arm) in response. And, unlike anyone else that visited him, she didn’t treat him like glass. That meant that she hit him hard . It would probably bruise. 

Obito couldn’t (and would never) hit her back, of course. She was his sensei’s wife! And also terrifying when she was angry. All he could do was gape at her and ask, “What the hell was that for?” 

Kushina looked so unimpressed that Obito thought she might hit him again. “For talking about yourself like that.”

“It was a joke!” he lied, very unconvincingly. 

“Well, learn some better material,” she huffed in response. 

He was sulking, which was a tad pathetic, but at least Kushina had broken him out of his downward spiral before he hit rock bottom this time. “I have to be able to laugh about it, because other people will be doing it anyway,” he commented bitterly. 

Kushina’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Did anyone say anything like that to you? Who was it? Whose ass do I need to kick?” 

“No one’s said anything, but I know they’re thinking it,” Obito insisted. “I see how they look at me.” Grimacing, he amended his statement, “Actually, if all they’re doing is laughing, they’re already being a lot nicer than I expected.” 

The way Kushina was looking at him wasn’t with pity, but that somehow hurt even more. Her gaze was sympathetic and oddly understanding. She didn’t yell at him or smack him again, instead offering a small, supportive smile. 

“I’m not going to lie and say that people won’t stare or that they won’t judge you,” she replied sadly. 

Obito appreciated the candid honesty. He was tired of being treated like he was fragile by all the hospital staff, his classmates, and even Minato-sensei. Kushina was the only one that actually talked to him like he was still normal . 

“Well, at least now they won’t be staring because I’m a dead last loser,” he grumbled in response, staring down at his hands. Or, hand. His synthetic limb was still barely more than a messy stump. It had indeed grown a bit, as if it was trying to heal itself, but it was still very obviously not human. “I don’t know if it’s better or worse, that they’ll be staring because I’m this–this freakish monster.” 

Kushina’s eyes flashed dangerously at the return of the self deprecating comments, but she didn’t immediately respond. She was staring at Obito, obviously deep in thought, and looking very uncertain. Her gaze flickered over to the open hospital door a few times. 

“Listen, there’s something I want to tell you–well, two somethings that are related,” Kushina told him mysteriously. “I’m really not supposed to, but fuck it. My husband is the Hokage, and he can’t stay mad at me to save his life, so who’s gonna tell me off for this?” 

Kushina rose from the chair she’d been occupying, using the arm rests to help herself up. She shuffled over to the door and closed it, then started pulling seal paper out of her pockets like a magician with a rabbit in their hat. She slapped a few papers on the door, and the walls around the room. Obito realized she was putting up silencing seals, which meant that she was really serious about telling him something important. The childish part of him that he thought had died in Madara’s cave practically squealed with delight at the thought, still loving the opportunity for some good gossip. 

When she was done, she plopped back down in the chair, looking at Obito with an uncharacteristically serious expression on her face. “What I’m going to tell you doesn’t leave this room. I mean, obviously Minato knows, so you can talk to him about it. And Kakashi knows too.” She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t you dare take it personally because he was told before you; we thought you were dead, and we haven’t exactly had a good opening to talk about my personal life since you got back!” 

Realizing that Kushina was waiting for him to answer, Obito nodded eagerly. “Ok, I won’t. I swear.” 

Satisfied with the response, Kushina continued, “The first thing you need to know is that I’m the Kyuubi jinchuuriki.” 

She paused to let him process the information. It took a few seconds of silence for Obito to really comprehend what he’d just been told. That was a real, serious S-class secret! And also, holy shit the most hot-tempered person he’d ever met was containing one of the most powerful beings in existence. How had she not destroyed the village yet during one of her infamous tantrums?!

“Oh,” was all he managed in response. 

Kushina snorted in amusement. “Really? That’s all you’ve got to say?” 

“What else am I supposed to say in response to that?” 

Kushina rolled her eyes. “People normally have a few more choice words for me when they find out.” 

Obito frowned. “Did you really think I’d be like that?” 

“Not at all,” she replied cheerfully. “There wasn’t a single moment that I ever thought it would change anything between us.” Her cheer dulled and her teasing smile turned sad. “That’s why I wanted to tell you now. Because I know a thing or two about feeling like a monster.” 

“You’re not a monster,” he replied immediately, remembering the less than kind gossip he’d heard about jinchuuriki. It had been especially bad during the height of the war, when the villages were utilizing their respective jinchuuriki in the field. Despite being an asset for their village, jinchuuriki were widely feared because of the beasts housed within them. 

Kushina nodded, but her expression was pained. “I know. I’ve long since come to terms with being a jinchuuriki, and I don’t particularly care what people say about me.” She smiled at him. “But thanks.” 

“I’m surprised anyone would dare say something to you,” Obito admitted. “You have an, erm, reputation.” Who was dumb enough to insult the Red Hot Habanero to her face? 

She laughed dryly. “Oh, people usually don’t know that it’s me they’re talking about and just say something offhandedly.” She explained, “Most villages are pretty up front about who their jinchuuriki is, because they like to show off their power, but Lady Mito–the previous jinchuuriki–didn’t want me to have to deal with all that attention.” Kushina shrugged. “It didn’t totally work. I was kidnapped a few times because if you know anything about jinchuuriki, it’s really obvious that I was the only reasonable candidate in Konoha. We Uzumaki are pretty much built for this sort of thing, and there’s not exactly a lot of us left.” 

Obito gaped at her. “You were kidnapped a few times ? That’s not something you should be so casual about!” 

“Eh, I got used to it after a while.” Kushina waved a hand dismissively. “Even before I had the Kyuubi, I was already a target because of my heritage so it wasn’t exactly new to me.” 

It was difficult to imagine being so flippant about his own abduction experience. “I had no idea.” 

“That’s because you weren’t supposed to know,” Kushina replied. 

Obito hummed thoughtfully, processing the information. He did feel a bit lighter, knowing that Kushina probably could understand at least some of what he was feeling. Certainly the judging eyes that he feared. Oh, and the nonconsensual modifications to your own body. Somehow, he doubted Kushina had volunteered to be the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. It wasn’t the sort of job you actively applied for. 

There was one other thing that Kushina said that had caught his attention. “Wait, you said there were two things you wanted to tell me, right? What was the other thing?” 

Based on Kushina’s answering grin, the second piece of information must be much more positive than the news that she was the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. “You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t because of the first thing. Agh, I should have planned this better!” she whined. “This is big news, I have to deliver it right!” 

Now he was just getting antsy. “Stop making me wait! You’ve got me all excited now!” 

Kushina stuck her tongue out at him. “Good to know you’re still the same impatient little twerp that you’ve always been.” She flicked his ear playfully. 

“Hey, stop that!” 

Kushina ignored his protests. “Ah, I’ve got it! Here, I’ll show you. Give me your hand.” 

Without waiting for actual permission, Kushina grabbed his hand and put it right over her abdomen. Obito was startled, and extremely confused by the sudden motion. 

“Uh, what–” 

“Shush!” She glared at the teen. “Just be patient.” A few more seconds passed, each more awkward than the last. Then, Kushina grinned and nearly shouted, “Ah, there! Did you feel that?” 

He felt something touch his hand. “Is that the Kyuubi? Is it breaking out of your seal?!” Obito asked, horrified. 

Kushina punched him in the arm again. “No, you little brat!” she huffed, ignoring Obito’s responding grunt of pain. “It’s a baby!” 

The sentence took a few moments to process. “It’s–wait. You’re–” His eyes widened as Kushina nodded cheerfully in confirmation. “You’re having a baby?”

“Yeah!” 

The thing–the baby –moved again against his hand. It was kind of weird, but also kind of awesome. “Is it, um, it’s Sensei’s too, right?” 

This time, Kushina didn’t punch him, she pulled him into a full head lock and gave him a noogie. “What are you insinuating?!” 

“Ow, ow! I didn’t mean anything like that, I’ve just been gone a long time–hey stop it!” 

Kushina released him, still aiming a full force glare in his direction. Obito rubbed at his head and grumbled under his breath. 

“Yes, me and Minato are having a baby.” She scowled at her own comment. “Ugh, I actually hate it when people say the dad is having the baby too. I’m the one that’s gotta carry this little bowling ball for 9 months!” She groaned, and added, “My ankles hurt, my clothes don’t fit, and I have to pee constantly! I’m the one doing all the work. All Minato did was put his–”

“Gross, I don’t want to hear any more!” More than any other time since he’d returned to Konoha, he wished he had two hands. If he did, he could cover both of his ears so he didn’t have to hear the end of that particular sentence. 

Kushina grinned mischievously. “Oh, you think that’s gross? Do you know what an episiotomy is?” 

“No, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to.” He tried pulling his blanket over his head, but Kushina was faster. 

“It’s not gross, it’s natural!” 

“It’s gross because it’s you and Sensei!” 

They half-heartedly fought over the blanket for a while, Obito trying to hide underneath it and Kushina trying to yank it off the bed, until Kushina sat back with a grimace. When Obito gave her a concerned look, she just waved him off. “Ah, don’t worry about me. The little guy is just getting rowdier and rowdier every day.” She patted her stomach a few times, looking fond and affectionate. “I think my excitement just made him a little too excited.” 

Since Kushina didn’t seem to be in any real pain or distress, Obito didn’t push. “He? It’s a boy?” 

Kushina grinned. “Yeah! I mean,” she added, “we don’t technically know, but I know, y’know?” Shrugging, she continued. “Mother’s intuition, and all that.” 

“Wow.” It was hard to believe, Minato and Kushina being parents. 

“Yeah,” Kushina agreed, understanding the sentiment. 

It occurred to him that Kushina must be far along, to be able to feel the baby moving around and kicking so much. She seemed excited about the pregnancy too. But it also seemed like she wasn’t advertising it. Her clothes were baggier than usual, hiding her figure and baby bump. 

And sure, he’d noticed that her face seemed a little more filled out than he remembered, but he’d been gone for over a year! She really didn’t look pregnant at all. She looked less like an active duty shinobi than usual, but she’d told Obito she was ill! Apparently that was just a cover. 

Kushina seemed to follow his train of thought. “We have only told a few people so far. Officially, it’s an S-class secret.” 

Obito’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Really? I would have thought Sensei would have wanted to shout it from the top of the Hokage Monument.” 

Kushina chuckled in response. “Oh, he wants to.” Her expression fell. “But he can’t. Neither of us can, even though we’re so excited.” She sighed. “Did you know that one of the only times a jinchuuriki’s seal naturally weakens is with childbirth?” 

He did not know that. But that meant– “Oh. Shit.” 

“Yeah,” she agreed dryly. “So we’re keeping it a secret until we can’t any longer. It’ll be a lot harder to hide in a month or two, and at that point we’re gonna be laying some false trails for my due date in case anyone decides they want to try something.”

“Wow,” he said again. 

“Mhm.” 

That was certainly a lot to take in. Obito leaned back against the frame of the hospital bed, processing the new information. Sensei and Kushina were going to be parents. Somehow that felt more monumental than Kushina being the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. A baby. Huh. The world really had kept turning while he was gone. Everyone was growing and moving on with their lives. 

Well, not everyone. Rin didn’t get to. She didn’t get to meet the new baby and celebrate with them. 

The thought hit him like a freight train. Rin wasn’t here to share the good news. Rin wasn’t here at all. She was gone. What right did he have to be so happy and excited, when Rin would never even get the chance to live another day? It wasn’t fair. 

“Uh oh, there’s that face again.” Kushina interrupted the latest round of depressive musing. 

Sniffling, Obito rubbed the newly formed tears from his eyes. “I just realized that Rin wouldn’t get to…” He couldn’t even finish the statement, it was too painful. “It’s just not fair!” 

“No, it’s not,” Kushina agreed. “Nothing about what happened to Rin, or you, or Kakashi is fair.” 

“Thinking about it all, thinking about her, it hurts. It hurts so much I can’t stand it,” he finally admitted out loud, his voice breaking with emotion. 

He felt Kushina rubbing his back soothingly as his shoulders shook with the force of his sobs. Just like that, the good mood that Kushina had managed to foster was slipping away. 

“I had similar thoughts many times before we got you back,” Kushina murmured, still maintaining supportive physical contact. The admission was barely audible over Obito’s sobbing. 

“You–” he sniffled and hiccuped, wiping at his runny nose. “You did?” 

Kushina smiled sadly. “Of course. You three may have given Minato his first gray hairs, but he loved– loves –all three of you. We both do.” Her own eyes were wet with tears now too. “When we first talked about having kids, we hoped you three could be like older siblings to them.” 

“Rin would have been a good older sister,” Obito hiccupped again. “Not sure about Bakashi though…”

The statement drew a soft laugh from Kushina. “Yeah, we certainly have our share of concerns. I think he’s excited, though, in his own way. But also scared. Hard to tell with that kid.” 

Obito managed a pathetic huff of laughter in agreement. “Yeah, he’s definitely not the easiest to read.” Or talk to. Or get along with. Or exist in the same space with.

Kushina just hummed thoughtfully. “And what about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“What kind of older brother will you be?” 

He really didn’t know. Before everything he’d been through, he would have screamed at the top of his lungs what a good brother he’d be. Better than dumb Bakashi, anyway. Now, he honestly wasn’t sure. This kid would be born into a shit world. A world without Rin. In fact, the kid would never meet her or know she existed, outside of photographs. 

He went to wipe his face with his sleeve again, but Kushina handed him a handful of tissues instead. His sobbing had finally calmed to just the occasional sniffle or hitched breath, so he was grateful for the chance to clean himself up a bit. 

“I…” he finally responded, after blowing his nose. “I don’t know,” he admitted. 

Kushina raised an eyebrow. “You? Obito Uchiha? Admitting that you don’t know something?” She placed a hand on his forehead. “Are you feverish?” 

Obito batted her hand away. “Very funny,” he grumbled. More serious, he elaborated, “Things just feel different now. I don’t even know who I am anymore, so how could I possibly know who I am going to be to someone else?” 

Her expression softened. “I know nothing will ever be the same, and that you’re different from who you used to be. But you’re still you.” She smiled gently. “I can’t wait to see what kind of brother you’ll be to little Naruto.” 

At first, Obito laughed, thinking the name was a joke. Then, he looked at Kushina’s face and realized she was serious. “Is that really what you’re naming him?” The poor kid would be teased relentlessly! “What, is the guy at the ramen stand giving you a promotional discount or something?” 

Once again, Obito was rewarded with a punch in his arm. Kushina leveled a glare at him while he muttered and rubbed at his arm indignantly. “For your information, we chose the name based on the hero in Master Jiraiya’s book. The fact that it also happens to be a reference to the greatest food in existence is just a bonus.” 

“If you say so…” Obito shrugged.

“I do,” Kushina responded with a definitive nod. Her expression quickly morphed to a surprised wince. She waved off Obito’s concerned frown. “Ah, the little punk is just feeling a little rambunctious again. Must’ve heard us talking about him.” 

“Right, that must be it,” Obito laughed lightly. 

Kushina’s expression turned wistful. “I know it won’t bring Rin back, but I have something that helped me when I was missing you and her. If you want to hear it.” 

Part of him wanted to say no, because even just hearing Rin’s name was too painful. But if there was a way to dull that pain even a little bit… “Ok.” 

Kushina nodded in approval, then began, “Sometimes, I’d think about the two of you. Or my mom and dad, whose faces I can barely remember. I’d think about how I’ll never be able to take my son to see Uzushio in its prime, to walk amongst our kin,” she sighed sadly. “It hurts, I won’t lie to you, and nothing will fully take that hurt away. It will hurt when I tell him about who and what we’ve lost.” 

A stray tear fell from her eye. “But, then I’d feel Naruto kick, or Minato would look so excited about a menial task like picking a paint color for the nursery. It made me realize that there are still things that make life worth living. There are still people who make life worth living.” She grabbed Obito’s hand and squeezed it. “And we can keep the memory of those we’ve lost alive by sharing their stories with the precious people we have left. We can pass those stories onto the next generation, and they can pass those stories on in turn. In that way, the people we’ve lost can live forever, and I think there’s a kind of beauty in that.” 

The sobs were back in full force, as if they’d never stopped. Kushina was right, that it wouldn’t bring Rin back, but her words also struck something in him. He’d been feeling so hopeless and lost, and Kushina had said exactly what he’d needed to hear. It didn’t erase the pain, of course, but it stirred something in him that he’d thought Madara had snuffed out. 

Kushina’s arms were around him in an instant. She held him tightly, only trying to pull away when the baby started getting particularly active again. With how close they were, he could feel the occasional kick or nudge against his arm or side. Kushina grimaced awkwardly. 

“Ah, sorry,” she apologized, “that must feel really weird.” 

“No it’s–” Obito cut her off, trying to reassure her. “I mean yeah ok it does feel kind of weird but also…” He trailed off, taking a few shaky breaths to try to get his sobbing back under control again. “...hopeful. You’re right, it’s something to look forward to.” 

For the first time since he’d seen Kakashi shove his arm through Rin’s chest, the world didn’t feel so dark and awful. 

—--------------------------------

When Obito was finally released from the hospital, Kushina was the only one who came by. Sensei was busy being the Hokage, so Obito didn’t blame him, but Kakashi? What excuse did that asshole have to continue to avoid him?

Kushina picked up on his foul mood and immediately guessed the cause of it. “Kakashi is being a stubborn fool so he won’t say it himself, but he’s really glad to have you back, y’know?” 

Obito grunted in response, adjusting the new sling holding his useless plant arm in place. “Yeah, I’m sure he missed having his favorite punching bag around.” 

Kushina shot him an unamused look. “He cares about you. You know he does.” She fished the key to Obito’s apartment out of her pocket, unlocking the door for both of them. 

“Do I?” Ok, he knew he was being stubborn. Even if Kakashi was being a flaky jerk, he spent too much time hovering around Obito to even pretend he didn’t care. 

“Yes,” Kushina insisted, giving him an affectionate smack on the back of his head. She grimaced as she felt his rat’s nest that passed for hair. “Ok, first thing’s first, you need a haircut.” 

Obito couldn’t disagree, and when Kushina dragged him through his apartment door and straight into his bathroom, he didn’t complain. She sat him down on the edge of the tub, and he breathed a sigh of relief as she used a set of clippers to shave the heavy mats off his head. He hadn’t realized how much extra tension he’d been carrying in his neck and shoulders. That made it easy to name the loss of weight as the reason his body started to relax. The truth was, something about getting all those extra locks off made him feel more human and less like Madara’s failed experiment. 

He hadn’t been able to look in the mirror yet, and Kushina was currently blocking his view as she worked on his hair. The bathroom in his hospital room hadn’t had a mirror, and as Kushina finally stepped aside to let him see her work, he wondered if it had been purposeful. 

The person in the mirror was barely recognizable. Kushina had trimmed his hair short, shorter than it used to be. She explained that it was the only way to remove all the matted, unhealthy hair. Still, despite how much shorter it was, it was far more wild than Obito remembered. It stuck up in weird directions, and clashed horribly with the stark white of his artificial skin. Between the scarring and the synthetic tissue, he looked more like a science experiment than a person. And the empty eye socket–yikes. Just yikes. He’d certainly seen better days. 

“I guess it’s good Rin can’t see me like this,” he murmured self-deprecatingly. 

“You’re just a bit greasy, that’s all,” Kushina tried to assure him. “And skinny! If you take a long shower and eat a few bowls of ramen, you’ll be back to your normal handsome self in no time.” 

“I uh–I don’t actually need to eat,” Obito admitted. It was definitely not the point of Kushina’s platitudes, but it was the only thing he could think to say. 

Kushina stared at him for an uncomfortably long time. “Obito,” she said with false sweetness, “when was the last time you ate anything?” 

“I had some of the gross hospital meals,” he reminded her, wrinkling his nose as he recalled the bland gelatin monstrosity he’d been forced to eat. 

“Before that. Real food.” 

Obito genuinely had no idea. “I think I remember having a sandwich at some point.” 

“A sandwich,” she repeated disbelievingly. 

“Not a very good one,” he admitted. Swirly had brought it for him, far too interested in using it as a way to observe the human digestive process. 

Kushina looked genuinely offended. “So it’s been more than a year since you’ve had real food? I have to fix that immediately!” 

“That’s ok–” 

“I’m getting ramen,” Kushina stated, leaving no room for argument. 

Obito was fairly certain that ramen was not currently part of his approved recovery diet, but he knew better than to argue with Kushina about anything, especially anything related to ramen. “Ok…” 

“Take a shower while I’m gone,” Kushina ordered, waddling away with impressive speed for how pregnant she was. It was no longer something she was able to hide without throwing on a henge–she was huge . 

Obito would never, ever tell her that though, because despite some of his darker thoughts, he did actually value his life. 

Kushina left him alone in his apartment, and Obito intended to follow the “order” she’d given. He also hadn’t showered in basically the same amount of time as he’d gone without food, and was very much looking forward to being able to use more than a wet rag to clean up. They told him not to use the shower at the hospital, since they hadn’t figured out what to do about his synthetic tissue yet. By the time they decided that a shower or a bath would be harmless, he was ready for discharge, so he decided to just wait until he got home. 

Home. 

It was a strange feeling. He hadn’t really processed that he was back in his apartment while Kushina was here, because her presence filled the space and kept him distracted. Now, Obito was alone, standing in the middle of his bathroom and contemplating his own existence. 

He caught his reflection in the mirror again and grimaced, before purposefully averting his eyes. He turned on the hot water and killed time while it heated by first cleaning up the mess of hair on the floor, then by taking stock of his bathroom. Everything seemed to be where he left it, in terms of his shampoo and soap. Which was weird, when he thought about it. As far as everyone knew, he’d been dead. And yet, his bathroom at least looked like he’d just stepped out for an hour or two. There were fresh towels and not even the thinnest layer of dust. In fact, it seemed cleaner than when Obito had lived here himself. He assumed Sensei or Kushina must have cleaned the place up while he was in the hospital, but he was honestly surprised that the apartment was still his at all. He may be in a less desirable part of the Uchiha district, but they still would have been able to fill it easily enough. He was surprised the clan didn’t just sell off everything he owned the moment he was listed as KIA. Since his grandmother had passed a few years ago, there was no one else left to claim any of his belongings. And yet, nothing seemed out of place. Maybe things would be different when he actually explored more than just the bathroom, though. 

Having only one usable arm hadn’t seemed like a big deal until he actually started trying to do anything. He wasn’t used to compensating with just one arm, and he kept unconsciously trying to do things with the damaged limb. It made his shower about twice as long as it probably needed to be, but he didn’t really mind. This was also his first time feeling hot water on his skin in–how long had it actually been? More than a year for sure, but more than two? He actually had no idea how long he was in the cave with Madara. 

The amount of grime coming off him was disgusting, and the lack of feeling on any of his synthetic skin was a bit disturbing. But the hot water still felt amazing, as did scrubbing off layers and layers of dirt and who-knows-what from his skin and remaining hair. 

When he stepped out of the shower and wiped some of the steam off the mirror, he did feel like he looked a little better. Still pretty awful, but less like a ghost. He also kept forgetting how short his hair was and tried to dry something that wasn’t there. 

Assuming that the rest of his apartment was also like he’d left it, there should be spare clothes in his bedroom. Wrapping a towel around himself, Obito exited the bathroom followed by a plume of steam. He couldn’t help but glance around at the familiar walls, feeling strangely detached from the concept of this place as an actual home. 

“You’ll get water all over your floor.” 

Obito shrieked and almost dropped his towel in shock. He clutched at it to keep it in place, glaring in the direction of his surprise visitor. “Fucking hell, Bakashi! Did you break into my apartment just to scare the piss out of me?” 

Kakashi was on his couch, looking weirdly tense and out of place, despite how calm and collected he seemed to be pretending to be. His visible eye widened as he took in Obito’s full appearance, making the older shinobi shift around self-consciously. 

But old habits die hard, and it was easier to lash out than to admit vulnerability. “You want to say something?” Obito snapped. “Or maybe take a picture, it’ll last longer.” 

Kakashi winced and averted his gaze. “Sorry. I just wasn’t expecting–” He winced again. Softly, he asked, “Does it hurt?” 

Obito scowled at his teammate. “Like you care,” he scoffed, before retreating down the hall to his old room. He wasn’t going to keep having a conversation with Kakashi while he wore nothing but a bath towel. He didn’t hear Kakashi respond, and wondered if he’d even be there when Obito returned. 

Being in his room was even weirder than being in the bathroom, because it still looked lived in. There were papers left out on his desk, though he didn’t remember what he’d been doing with them. His bed was made, but Obito knew that wasn’t the way he left it because he never made his bed. He always meant to, but he never had time in the morning. So far, a tidier than usual bed was the only thing out of place. 

The photo of Team 7 was sitting in the middle of his desk. Obito grimaced as he remembered Kakashi catching him in the act of pretending to kiss Rin’s picture. It almost made him turn away from the photo, but he couldn’t ignore the almost magnetic pull he felt, urging him to pick it up. So he did. He gazed down at this little snapshot in time, not quite sure how he felt about the boy in the photo. He knew that wasn’t him anymore. Besides the obvious physical changes, Obito didn’t think he could smile like that little boy anymore either. 

Not that he was smiling in the picture. He’d been too busy trying to one-up Kakashi, caring far too much about something that now seemed so useless in the grand scheme of things. And Rin–

He had to place the photo face down so he didn’t keep looking at her face. The grief was still too real, and the last thing he needed was for Kakashi to find him sitting alone in his room, still naked and crying his eyes out. He grabbed the first set of clothes he could find, not bothering to actually look at what he’d chosen. 

Another unintended consequence of only having one usable arm was difficulty dressing, apparently. He thankfully managed to get his pants on, but he couldn’t get his limp arm-stump through the hole of his shirt. He knew he must be making quite the scene, stumbling around and bumping into walls and furniture as he tried to maneuver his shirt over his head. 

Obito swore loudly as he became tangled in the shirt, stumbling and hitting the ground hard. He swore again as his chin knocked against the floor, hard enough to bring tears to his eye. He wanted to scream and cry with frustration and humiliation, laying in a heap on his bedroom floor with a shirt tangled around him. 

“Obito?” A worried voice called cautiously from the hallway. 

Fuck, he couldn’t let Kakashi see him like this. “Go away,” he growled, though he knew it was half-hearted. 

There was a pause, as if Kakashi was contemplating whether or not he wanted to listen. Then, Obito heard his door creak, followed by a surprised huff from Kakashi. He braced himself for the scathing remarks and insults. Kakashi never missed an opportunity to prove his superiority. 

Just as Obito was losing his patience with Kakashi’s irritating silence, the younger boy sighed, “Let me help you.” 

“I don’t need your help,” Obito lied, trying to detangle himself from the mess he’d made of his shirt. 

“So you meant to end up sprawled out on your bedroom floor?” 

“Yes!” Obito snapped. 

He could hear Kakashi’s disapproving tongue click. “It’s not a big deal, Obito,” he insisted. “Just let me help.” 

As much as Obito wanted to continue to protest, having Kakashi help him dress was only marginally less humiliating than having Kakashi watch him writhe around on the floor. “Fine,” he grumbled. 

With a surprising amount of gentleness, Kakashi helped him into an upright, kneeling position, then wrestled the offending shirt back into place. Obito averted his eyes when they finally managed to get the shirt over his head. Kakashi didn’t say anything as he helped Obito manipulate his limp arm-stump through the sleeve. He was avoiding eye contact as ardently as Obito was.

“...thanks.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Kakashi replied. He stepped back awkwardly, before turning and heading back into the living room. His shoulders were hunched in an uncharacteristic display of uncertainty. 

Obito followed him out, frowning as he took in Kakashi’s tense, anxious posture. He looked like he wanted to bolt, eyeing the door like a trapped animal. Well, he could leave if he wanted. It wasn’t like Obito asked him to come here. Even if part of him had been hopeful that maybe Kakashi would stop ignoring him–

No, he didn’t care what Kakashi did. Not one bit. Nope. 

He was about to tell Kakashi just that, when the younger boy stopped abruptly and turned back to face him. Obito was shocked to see that his visible eye was red and perhaps even a bit watery. It was the first time he’d really gotten a good look at Kakashi since he’d been back in the village. Since he’d gifted Kakashi his eye, thinking he was about to die. Apparently, Kakashi was hiding the Sharingan underneath his slanted forehead protector. He looked a tad ridiculous, but his expression was so serious that Obito didn’t dare laugh. 

Kakashi seemed to notice where Obito’s gaze went. He flinched, then carefully lifted the forehead protector. It was a bit disconcerting, realizing he was staring into his own eye. Unconsciously, Obito found himself reaching up to gingerly touch his own empty eye socket. 

Kakashi flinched again. “You can have it back,” he insisted suddenly. “I’m sorry I held onto it for so long. I just–I didn’t know how–” 

He’d never seen Kakashi struggle with words before. Perhaps, at one time, he would have found it satisfying. Now, it was just sad. 

“Returning gifts is rude,” he huffed. 

“Really,” Kakashi insisted, “it’s ok. I’m sure you must want it back.” 

Obito shrugged. “I’ve been managing fine with just the one.” 

“But I–”

“Do you not want it?” Obito frowned. He hadn’t even considered that a possibility, but maybe Kakashi hated having the damn thing in his skull. Really, when he thought about it, giving someone your eye was a really weird gift. Doujutsu or not, it probably weirded Kakashi out. 

Surprisingly, the question almost seemed to offend Kakashi. “No!” He looked a tad embarrassed by the outburst. More calmly, he elaborated, “It’s not that I don’t want it. I just assumed that you would want to take it back. You only gave it to me because you thought you were–” He swallowed hard, unable to finish the sentence. 

“I still want you to have it.” The words were out of his mouth before he really even processed them, but he knew he meant it. “It’s yours.” 

“Are you sure? Because–” 

“Just accept the gift, Bakashi,” Obito said, a little teasing, a little irritable. 

“Ok,” Kakashi breathed. “Ok.” He hesitated, then murmured, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect Rin.” 

Obito almost snapped that Kakashi should keep her name out of his mouth. He managed to rein in his anger, reminding himself that it wasn’t Kakashi’s fault. Kakashi may have delivered the final blow, but it hadn’t been of his own accord. He couldn’t blame Kakashi for Rin’s death, not really. Especially not after he’d seen the way it had impacted him. It was honestly difficult to look at Kakashi and not see flashes of that awful, broken expression he’d been wearing. 

He settled for, “I know,” to try to ease some of Kakashi’s guilt. “I saw the whole thing, and then Sensei told me about the Sanbi. It was the last piece of the puzzle that I didn’t have.” 

Shaking his head, Kakashi replied, “It was still my fault. All you asked me to do was to protect Rin and I–” Another shake of his head. “I let her die.” 

He didn’t want to talk about Rin, not really. The grief was still too fresh. But it seemed like Kakashi needed to hear this. “She shouldn’t have–” It felt like a betrayal to say it, but he forced the words out anyway. “She shouldn’t have done that to you.” 

Kakashi looked absolutely dumbstruck. “What? But you–and she–I thought you loved her?” 

“Of course I did!” he snapped. “But that doesn’t mean I agree with what she did!” Obito ran a shaky hand through his newly buzzed hair, trying to keep his temper under control. “There had to be another way. A better way. I know she was desperate, but using you to do that was–especially knowing–” It was fucked up, if he was being honest. “I loved Rin, and I always will, but you’re my friend too, idiot.” 

“I’m–you still consider me your friend?” Kakashi asked, looking uncharacteristically small. 

Obito looked at him like the idiot he was. “Of course I do! Do you think I’m in the habit of handing out body parts to people that I don’t consider my friend?” 

Kakashi made a face at the statement, looking more like his usual stuck-up self. Still, the desperation and anxiety didn’t completely fade. “I just thought that after everything, you might have changed your mind,” he admitted quietly. 

Obito gaped at the younger boy. “You–are you serious? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because you thought I didn’t want to be your friend?” 

Based on how Kakashi’s entire face flushed, Obito realized he must be spot on. “Shut up,” Kakashi growled. 

Obito burst into hysterical laughter, doubling over. Kakashi fucking Hatake had been pouting because he thought Obito didn’t want to be his friend. “Stupid Bakashi,” he wheezed. 

I hope you’re watching this, Rin, and laughing as hard as I am. 

“I said shut up, dead last!” Kakashi snapped, louder this time. 

When Obito continued to cackle, Kakashi growled and pounced on him, trying to pin him to the ground. Obito’s laughter faded as Kakashi elbowed him in the gut. He responded by trying to flip them, resulting in the two of them rolling around on the floor of Obito’s apartment like a couple of stupid academy kids having a spar. It was unrefined, and a tad vicious, lacking any true shinobi technique. Obito was down an arm, but he was also much stronger than he used to be, despite still being in recovery. He could tell Kakashi was holding back, but he still seemed surprised by how well Obito was holding his own. 

That was how Kushina found them, two teenagers spitting insults at each other and rolling around on the floor. She separated them, fearful that they were really hurting each other. In the past, they would have been. And sure, he’d pulled Kakashi’s hair at one point harder than he probably should have, but Kakashi had somehow stealthily pulled his mask down and bit him . The little weirdo. 

They were both a little battered, with mussed hair and a handful of new bruises. When Obito took in Kakashi’s scraggly appearance, his laughter started again. Kakashi was too dignified to join in, but Obito could tell that he was smiling behind his mask. 

It soothed something in him, knowing that Kakashi was willing to treat him like he always had. He hadn’t consciously worried about their dynamic changing, but he was very glad it hadn’t. Or rather, it seemed to have only changed for the better. Kakashi was and always would be a bastard, but at least now he was a bastard that was also his friend. 

Naively, Obito finally thought the worst was behind them. 

—--------------------------------

He’d barely begun to figure it out–relearning how to use his limbs, processing the mental trauma, rebuilding his life–when it all went to shit. The night Kushina went into labor, after telling him she’d be fine and Minato was just worrying over nothing, the Kyuubi destroyed the village. The news that Kushina was the Kyuubi jinchuuriki had been a surprise to him, but now it meant he knew enough to understand that the fox running free was a bad sign for both the village and its jinchuuriki. 

It had been a calm, quiet night before the Kyuubi started rampaging. Obito had been at Minato and Kushina’s home, waiting for them to return with their new baby. They couldn’t bring Obito with them, since the birth was being kept quiet due to Kushina’s jinchuuriki status. Bitterly, Obito had wondered if Kakashi was allowed to be there, since he was not-so-secretly ANBU, but Sensei refused to tell him either way to spare his feelings. Regardless, Obito was stuck waiting, not even able to pace on his weakened legs. He just laid out on Minato and Kushina’s lumpy couch, waiting for some news about the very anticipated Namikaze-Uzumaki baby. 

His new (sort of) brother or sister. Brother, if Kushina was right. He hoped she was, because he didn’t know anything about girls. Although, to be fair, he didn’t know much about babies in general. In the end, as long as the baby was healthy, that was all that mattered. 

He’d been thinking about something trivial, like what he wanted his new pseudo-sibling to call him, when his world came crashing down around him. The sudden spike of malicious chakra, the quaking of the earth, and the ear-splitting roar immediately clued him in to what was happening. He was limping out the door before he could even think about what he was doing. 

Considering that he’d nearly died and then was held captive by a madman, Obito was no stranger to fear. He knew what it felt like to feel afraid and helpless. He thought the worst of it was lying tangled in those dirty bed sheets, unable to do anything other than scream and glare at Madara with his only remaining eye. 

He’d been wrong. 

True helplessness was seeing the full might of the Kyuubi silhouetted against the night sky. It was hearing the horrified screams of the village’s occupants filling the air. It was knowing what it meant for the Kyuubi’s container that the beast was running free. 

There were precautions, there were supposed to be precautions! Kushina had smiled at him and said not to worry, that Minato was just being overprotective. She assured him that he and Kakashi would be the first to meet the baby once it could be confirmed that her seal was stable. She laughed at his concerned expression and ruffled the hair on his head. Then, she promised to see him tomorrow and left with a very proud and only slightly anxious Minato. 

That had been only a few hours ago, but it felt like a lifetime. In his memory, Kushina’s carefree laughter now sounded more like mockery. 

Despite how unsteady he was on his still recovering legs, and how he was sucking in air like a drowning man rather than a trained shinobi, Obito didn’t hesitate to run toward the massive fox. The only people he had left in the world were already there, fighting for their homes and their lives. 

Villagers were screaming and fleeing their homes, clutching children and precious possessions to their chests as they made a frantic rush for shelter. Their emergency forces were springing into action, directing non-combatants to designated meeting points and fighters toward the battle. Living in a shinobi village, even the youngest civilian child was drilled on emergency evacuation protocols. 

But, for as efficient as their forces were, they couldn’t be everywhere at once instantaneously. Obito couldn’t help but notice the chaos around him, at the civilians that were struggling to make it out of collapsing buildings or through blinding dust clouds. He knew some of the grannies in this part of the village, and knew that they had mobility issues that would make it near impossible for them to evacuate without help. 

He had to stop, there was no way he could just leave them! 

Without hesitation, Obito got to work, producing clones to try to make up for only having one arm. He worked together with the clones and the braver civilians who refused to leave loved ones behind. Together, they were able to evacuate the entire block, just before the earth trembled beneath them and brought the line of residential buildings crumbling to the ground. His last clone scrambled out of the wreckage, barely avoiding being poofed as it carried a terrified, fluffed kitten in its arms. A very grateful looking preteen took the kitten and clutched it against their chest as their mother herded their family toward the disaster shelters. 

He sent the clones along with the fleeing civilians, supporting one of the grannies who couldn’t walk and didn’t have any family around to help her. All the while, the Kyuubi was still raging. Only flashes of its red fur and bright streaks of various jutsu were visible through the cloud of dust and debris it had created. 

The bijuu’s roars intensified, and then disappeared. A few moments later, its roars were audible again, but muted as if a distance away. It took Obito a minute to realize that the Kyuubi was now outside of the village, and had been moved in the blink of an eye. The only person capable of such a feat would be Minato. He must have used his Hiraishin to transport the fox away from the general populace. 

Obito kept running, cursing the way his body protested with every step, but he didn’t stop. In the end, it didn’t matter that he pushed himself so hard he was hacking up blood and almost collapsing under his own weight, because he still wasn’t fast enough. 

By the time Obito got there, they were already dead, and the Kyuubi was gone. The Yondaime and his wife, lifeless on the ground with gaping holes in their chests. Of all the times he’d been late, this one was the worst. If he hadn’t stopped, maybe he could have made it in time. That was becoming the story of his life, wasn’t it? Too late to save Rin, too late to save Minato and Kushina. Too late to save anyone. 

Through his gasps and coughs, trying to get air back into his not-quite healed lungs, a quiet sniffle caught his attention. Kakashi was kneeling on the ground, next to Minato and Kushina’s bodies. He was hunched over a small bundle in his arms. Obito inhaled sharply, rushing to his teammate’s side. 

“The baby…?” Obito asked desperately, between his sharp inhales. 

Kakashi didn’t answer, couldn’t answer, but he managed to shift the bundle in his arms so a tiny, squishy face and a few tufts of blonde hair were visible. Bright blue eyes blinked up at him, painfully familiar. 

“It’s a boy,” Kakashi managed to whisper, his voice rough and cracked. 

Obito managed to breathe a sigh of relief, but he couldn’t stop the tears from forming in his remaining eye. “Just like Kushina said it would be.” 

Kakashi just nodded blankly, staring unblinkingly at Minato and Kushina’s bodies. There was a slight tremble to his frame, though Obito knew his grip on the baby was solid. He’d never let anything happen to the kid. Obito knew he could trust his teammate with this. With their sensei’s son. 

“What happened?” Obito asked, once he was able to breathe comfortably enough to form more coherent sentences. 

“I don’t know how the fox got out,” Kakashi admitted. “I got here in time to see Sensei seal it in the baby, and to watch them die.” 

Obito grimaced at his words. “Wait, he sealed it in the baby?!” He stared slack-jawed at the tiny, whimpering infant bundled in Kakashi’s arms. 

“Minato made a sacrifice to save the village,” a familiar, tired, aged voice explained. The Sandaime, in his full battle armor, ambled up beside them with a pair of ANBU flanking him. “His actions ensured not only the end to the beast’s rampage, but also that the balance of power would be maintained amongst the villages. He and Kushina were true heroes, and it appears their son is too.” 

Distantly, Obito knew they weren’t alone. Countless shinobi were gathered around them, grieving for their lost leader and securing a perimeter. And yet, despite the lack of privacy, he’d nearly forgotten they weren’t in their own little bubble. 

The Sandaime looked sympathetic, but mostly he looked tired. 

The grief he’d been shoving down since Rin’s death was back in full force, but so was the rage. He wanted to snap at the old man for acting like Minato and Kushina’s death meant nothing more to him than the loss of the Hokage and his wife. For talking about sacrifices . He didn’t understand what had truly been lost. 

“I couldn’t do anything,” Kakashi murmured, his voice quivering. “Sensei, he–and Kushina–” He held the infant closer to his chest. 

Obito didn’t know what to say. He looked at the pale, mangled corpses of the two people that had been like family to him, and fell to his knees. He knew he’d started screaming, just like when he’d seen Rin die. It hurt. It hurt so fucking much. They died, and he wasn’t even here. 

Maybe Madara had the right idea. The world was shit, taking away the most promising Hokage the village had seen since the damn Shodaime himself. Taking away a mother and father moments after their child had been born. Taking more from him. From him and Kakashi, who already had nothing and no one . How was he supposed to keep living with this pain, and this loss? Wouldn’t he do anything to have them all back? 

There was a high pitched whine that forcefully interrupted Obito’s spiraling thoughts. The infant–Minato and Kushina’s precious son–clearly didn’t like all the noise and negativity around him. Kakashi was staring down at the baby like he was going to spontaneously combust. 

Pulling himself together, Obito forced himself to his feet, taking a few shaky steps so he could collapse beside Kakashi back onto his knees. He held his good arm out. “I’ll hold him.” 

Kakashi looked a bit wild-eyed and desperate, as if handing over the baby would make him disappear forever. Then, he seemed to focus a bit and realized it was Obito talking to him. “What do you know about babies?” 

Not much, if he was being honest. But probably more than Kakashi. “I’ve held a baby before. Have you?” 

Judging by the awkward grimace, Obito could surmise that the answer was “no.” Reluctantly, Kakashi gently handed the baby to his older teammate, not moving away once he was done. He remained close enough that their shoulders touched, as if the contact could ease their shared grief. 

The baby was warm and solid in the crook of his arm. Chubby-cheeked, pink-faced, and full of life. “Did they still want to name him Naruto?” 

Kakashi nodded numbly. “Yeah, I think they did. I didn’t make it in time to–” He shuddered, barely holding back his grief. “They were so excited about that stupid name, I can’t imagine them wanting to change it.”  

Obito laughed humorlessly, looking down at the tiny, helpless life he now held against his chest. “You’re right.” He couldn’t help but smile at the bright, curious eyes staring up at him. He was probably too young to really focus on anything, but Obito liked to think that the kid must be getting some inherent feeling of safety and comfort from him. 

A throat cleared behind them. Both he and Kakashi looked up to where the Sandaime was staring at them apologetically. “I’m very sorry. I know you both are grieving, but I need to take the boy.”

Instinctively, Obito held Naruto closer to him. He didn’t miss how the ANBU flanking the former Hokage tensed. The old man shook his head, holding up a placating hand. The ANBU relaxed their stances, but Obito could feel their gazes practically burning him through their masks. 

“He has the Kyuubi sealed within him,” the Sandaime explained gently. “While I have the utmost faith in Minato’s abilities, he was under significant duress. We need to ensure that the seal is secure.” 

Although the man’s tone was soft, and grandfatherly, it was undoubtedly an order. Reluctantly, Obito held out his arm so the Sandaime could step forward and carefully take the infant from him. He couldn’t help but take the smallest amount of dark satisfaction in the fact that Naruto started whimpering again when he was transferred to the old man’s arms. The Sandaime smiled gently and cooed, trying to calm the baby’s soft cries. 

“What will happen to him?” Kakashi asked quietly, looking and sounding smaller than Obito had ever seen him, even as a child. 

“Once we have ensured that the seal is secure, he will be well cared for,” the old man insisted. “I give you my word.” He was speaking to Obito and Kakashi, but he bowed his head toward where Minato and Kushina had been slain. 

The man was a Kage, one who had seen them through war and devastation. He was arguably now the most powerful man in the village, and had hand-picked Minato as his successor. He was also a father, and a grandfather. By all rights, his words should be reassuring. But they weren’t. All Obito could feel as the Sandaime whisked Minato and Kushina’s son away was that he’d made a terrible mistake. 

—--------------------------------

Obito returned to Minato and Kushina’s empty house just a few hours after they died. Due to his injuries, he was exempt from any mandatory shinobi duties. No, not exempt. Unwanted . He’d tried to appeal to any jounin or experienced chunin that he could find, insisting that he could help. They’d all taken one look at his shaky, unstable legs, mangled arm, and near-manic expression and deemed him unfit for duty. 

Conversely, Kakashi was immediately whisked away to help with search and rescue and security. His ninken would be summoned around the clock, until chakra exhaustion forced him to take a break. 

Obito wanted to help, to do something . He could admit that it was less of a desire to help the village, and more of a desperate need to keep himself busy. If he sat around Minato and Kushina’s home, he couldn’t stop picturing their pale, bloodied faces. He couldn’t stop hearing Naruto’s desperate cries, or the Kyuubi’s guttural snarls. He must have unconsciously activated his Sharingan at some point, because every moment was recorded in his mind with perfect clarity. 

Rage and grief clouded his mind, just like it had with Rin. There was no enemy to take his feelings out on this time, no revenge to be had. In a fit of anger, he slammed his fist into the nearest wall. Then he did it again, and again, until his hand was bloody and bruised, and the wall was full of holes. His own blood splattered on the wall, right underneath a photo of Minato and Kushina on their wedding day. 

Immediately, Obito felt ashamed of his outburst. This was his sensei’s home, and Kushina’s home, that he’d damaged. 

But…did it really matter? They would never see what he’d done. They’d never see their home again, or their son. They were dead and gone. Just like Rin. 

He knew he was making awful, ugly crying and gasping noises. He was yelling until his throat was raw and his voice was hoarse. But it didn’t matter, because there was no one left in the home to hear him. 

There was no one left. 

There was no one.

The pain and grief was too much. He’d thought he’d started to recover from losing Rin. He’d found comfort with Minato-sensei and his wife, and their promises of a better future. He’d felt so hopeful when Kushina let him feel her unborn son’s kicks for the first time, because it was something good in this horrible, dark world. It was a new life, and excited parents. It was Minato-sensei pulling him and Kakashi aside to ask them to be involved in his son’s life, because he already thought of them like family. It was Kushina teasingly calling them Naruto’s older brothers, and knowing that she actually meant it. 

All of that was gone. They were gone. 

Once again, his mind turned to Madara’s vision for the world. He could fix it all, couldn’t he? He could help make a world where Rin was alive, and Minato and Kushina were alive to raise their son. Didn’t he owe it to them, and to himself, to fix what was broken? 

There had been a few times he’d been tempted to go back to the crazy old man, in his darkest moments. But not like this, where he felt like he had to convince himself not to go. Somewhere in the deepest part of his logical brain, he knew Madara’s plan was insane, and not a real solution. But the broken, desperate part of him didn’t care. He just wanted the pain to go away. And…and no one would know that it wasn’t real, right? Wasn’t that what the old man said? Wouldn’t that be better? It had to be better than this! This was nothing but pure agony, with no end in sight. 

He was going to do it, he was going to leave. He didn’t know where to find the old man, but he’d keep looking until he dropped dead, if he had to. He just needed something, anything, to hold onto. 

The thing that stopped him was seeing Naruto’s empty nursery. He hadn’t meant to go in, he’d just walked by the room on his way to the door and couldn’t help but look inside. 

Obito and Kakashi had helped paint this room. They’d helped Sensei build the crib, and they’d talked Kushina out of putting up the most horrifying clown mobile that Obito had ever seen. She’d thought it was funny, but he and Kakashi were afraid it would give the baby nightmares. It certainly gave him nightmares after just seeing it once! 

There was so much love in that room, and the person it was meant for would never see it. Would he even know that it was made for him? Would he know how much his parents loved him?

Someone would tell him, right? Even if Obito left, Kakashi would still be there to care for him and tell him stories about his parents. He would be there for all of the baby’s firsts. He could introduce Naruto to his pack and oh, he would be so adorable snuggling Kakashi’s ninken! 

And it was fine that Obito wouldn’t see any of that, or get to walk him to his first day of school, or celebrate his birthday. It was fine because he could see it in Madara’s dream world. It would be the same…wouldn’t it? And even if it wasn’t, he would never know. 

If it was all the same, and didn’t matter, why did the thought of leaving feel so wrong ? 

It shouldn’t matter that Kushina would be disappointed, and Minato would be sad if Obito wasn’t here for their son. It shouldn’t matter that Kakashi would take it personally if Obito left. And it shouldn’t matter that Naruto would never know him, not really, if he went forward with Madara’s plan. None of that should matter, but it did. He could practically hear Madara mocking him for his weakness and sentimentality, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling of wrongness at the idea of leaving now. Not when he still had people that needed him. 

He knew what he needed to do.

Chapter Text

“You want to do what? ” Kakashi looked at him incredulously. 

“You heard me,” Obito huffed, “I want to raise Naruto.” 

“I heard words come out of your mouth,” Kakashi responded, “but I’m pretty sure I must have sustained some hearing damage during the Kyuubi attack, because it sounded like you said you want to raise Sensei and Kushina’s son.” 

Obito crossed his arms irritably. “I did say that!” 

Kakashi was staring at him, looking more like a zombie than a shinobi. In all fairness, this was the first time they’d seen each other since the Kyuubi attack. And Obito had kind of ambushed Kakashi at his apartment, waiting (im)patiently until the younger boy was finally given the chance to come home to clean himself up. Kakashi had come in through the window without Obito knowing, but he’d been let in almost immediately. Kakashi either sensed him or had some kind of proximity detector that told him there was someone at his door.  

When he’d thrown the door open, looking ragged and completely exhausted, he’d stared silently at Obito for a few seconds, like he was looking at a ghost. Or rather, he seemed to almost be looking through Obito. He looked like shit, and clearly hadn’t been given time to grieve. Or bathe. Or eat. Obito had to force him to take a shower and eat a very sad meal of stale crackers and ration bars before he would tell Kakashi why he was there. 

That was how they’d found themselves in this particular situation, with Kakashi and Obito sitting across from each other at the pathetic excuse for a dining table that the younger boy owned. Kakashi still looked like shit, with a dark bruise under his visible, red-rimmed eye, and a hunch in his shoulders that seemed to now be a permanent fixture for the young jounin. But at least his hair was no longer stained with blood, dirt, and ash. 

“You know,” Kakashi finally answered warily, “Naruto is a baby.” 

“ Really ?” Obito replied sarcastically. “I thought he was a potted plant!” He threw his arms up dramatically, glaring at his younger friend. 

“I just meant,” Kakashi clarified tersely, “it’s a lot of responsibility, taking care of a baby.” 

Obito rolled his eyes. “I’m aware. I have a plan.” 

“A plan,” Kakashi repeated, sighing heavily. “Your plans haven’t historically ended well, you know.” 

“This is different!” Obito insisted. “It’s–it’s important.” The tears started building in his eye. “It’s Sensei and Kushina’s son.” 

Kakashi tensed at the reminder. “And that’s why I don’t understand why you’d want to do something so insane. He should be taken care of by someone who knows what they’re doing.” 

“He should be taken care of by someone who will love him like his parents would!” Obito snapped in response. 

Kakashi’s expression was closed off, and annoyingly blank. “Who says that the person who raises him won’t love him like that?” 

“It won’t be the same. You know it won’t.” 

Shrugging nonchalantly, Kakashi continued, “I’m sure the Sandaime is perfectly capable of choosing a suitable guardian for Naruto.” 

“Sensei and Kushina wanted us–” 

“They’re dead,” Kakashi hissed, “it doesn’t matter what they wanted.” 

Obito rose up from his chair suddenly. It clattered to the floor behind him. “How can you say that?! What the hell is wrong with you?!” 

Still looking annoyingly unaffected, Kakashi just shrugged again. “It’s the truth. Cry about it all you want, it won’t change anything.” 

He hated that he couldn’t completely shut down the flow of tears. He was just an emotional crier, dammit! It wasn’t like Obito could help it! Frantically, Obito wiped at his eye, trying to keep the tears at bay. He refused to look weak in front of Kakashi when he was acting like an asshole. 

“So, that’s it? You’re just gonna pretend Naruto doesn’t exist?” Obito spat. “Even after everything Sensei and Kushina said about wanting us to be his brothers?” 

Another damn shrug from Kakashi. “It’s not like he’ll know any different.” 

“ We’ll know! Don’t you want to be part of his life?!” Obito knew he was starting to sound a little hysterical, but he didn’t really care. He could see that Kakashi was about to shrug again , so he snapped, “If you shrug one more time, I’ll break this damn chair over your stupid head!” 

“Oh, very mature, dead last,” Kakashi scoffed. “You’re really proving your suitability for child raising.” 

“Why you–” He practically leapt across the table, grabbing Kakashi’s shirt in his good hand. He clenched his fist until it was almost as pale as his synthetic flesh. “Fuck you, you emotionless prick!” 

Kakashi blinked slowly, not rising to the bait. “Does throwing a temper tantrum make you feel better?” 

Despite his synthetic arm not being fully recovered, he still punched Kakashi with it. He didn’t really have enough of a hand to make a fist, but it was solid enough that he knew it would leave a bruise. Particularly because Kakashi didn’t avoid the hit at all. He let Obito punch him square in the jaw, wincing at the impact, but otherwise not trying to get out of his teammate’s hold. 

Obito shook Kakashi, hoping to shake some sense into him. “I thought you had changed, you bastard! I thought you were finally starting to care about other people!” 

Kakashi didn’t answer him, still refusing to look away. Obito shook him again. “I can’t believe you. After everything Sensei and Kushina did for you, are you really just going to spit on their legacy, and their wishes?” He knew he was being a bit hypocritical, since he had considered completely abandoning reality for an idealistic dream world, but he hadn’t gone through with it so it didn’t count! “Don’t you care about what they wanted? Don’t you care about Naruto?” 

There was the slightest twitch of Kakashi’s facial muscles, but he still remained silent. He was basically limp in Obito’s grip, and his face was already starting to swell where he’d been hit. 

“You don’t care, do you? You don’t care about any of them–any of us! ” There was too much anger and hurt for Obito to see how Kakashi’s emotionless mask was starting to crack. He was too busy seeing red. “Did you ever care? Did you ever actually care about Sensei or Kushina? What about Rin? What about me ?” He shook Kakashi again. “Do you even give a shit that they’re gone?!” 

Finally, finally , Kakashi reacted. Faster than Obito could blink, he punched Obito in the face, in just about the same spot that he’d been hit himself. Obito stumbled back, tripping over his overturned chair. He didn’t loosen his grip on Kakashi, and ended up pulling them both down. Kakashi landed over him with a firm elbow to his gut, and Obito wheezed as all his breath left him. In an instant, Kakashi had the older boy pinned to the ground, gripping his shirt with both hands like Obito had done to him. His eye was bloodshot, and there were real, visible tears pooling in the corner. 

“ Of course I give a shit!” he snarled, finally matching Obito’s explosive anger. “Do you think you’re the only one that lost someone?!” 

Obito slapped Kakashi’s hands away, then shoved him forward so there was some space between them. “How the fuck am I supposed to know that you care when you go around acting like heartless dick?!” 

Kakashi went to punch him again, but Obito was ready this time. He blocked the punch, and countered with another one of his own. Kakashi didn’t let himself be struck this time, instead lunging forward so the two of them were grappling on the kitchen floor. It was more like their old fights–vicious, petty, and a little bit out for blood–they’d had before Kannabi Bridge. The ones that Minato had to forcefully separate. 

“I can’t believe,” Obito snarled as Kakashi’s elbow nearly knocked into his skull, “you’re going to turn your back on Naruto!” He managed to kick Kakashi in the ribs, hard enough to draw out a pained hiss from him. “You know Sensei and Kushina wanted him, loved him more than anything, and you’re just going to pretend he doesn’t exist?!” 

Kakashi yanked Obito’s good arm behind his back, cranking his shoulder painfully. “ Shut up , you dead last crybaby! You have no idea what you’re talking about!” His voice broke on the last few words. 

Obito pulled his arm out of Kakashi’s grasp and swung around so he could kick out at the jounin’s chin. Kakashi leaned back in time to avoid the full force of the attack, but the kick still glanced off his jaw with enough force that Obito knew it would have made his teeth rattle. 

“Then enlighten me, genius!” Obito growled as he continued to grapple with Kakashi. They’d knocked over the other chair, and a few glasses from the counter, but neither of them cared. Even as they rolled into a pile of broken glass, cutting both their skin, neither of them were willing to yield first. 

“For once in your life, Obito,” Kakashi snapped back, just as viciously, “would you just shut up ?!” 

“Unless you can give me one damn good reason why–” 

“Because I get everyone I care about killed!” Kakashi wailed, and then all the fight drained out of him. He slumped backwards, his back and head thumping against the kitchen cabinets. His shoulders were shaking, and there were tears streaming down his face. They even fell from underneath his forehead protector, from his gifted Sharingan. 

Obito could only stare at the scene in front of him, because he’d never seen Kakashi show emotion openly like this. He’d seen Kakashi break, after Rin killed herself, and he’d seen Kakashi grieve when the Kyuubi killed Minato and Kushina. But these full-bodied sobs and pathetic wails? He didn’t even realize Kakashi could make a noise like that! 

What was he supposed to say? They were both covered in blood and bruises, and sitting in a pile of broken glass. Kakashi was having a full on mental breakdown, and Obito was just staring at him, his jaw probably on the floor. And Kakashi was so far gone, he didn’t even bother to rein in the display. 

Tentatively, he reached out and touched Kakashi’s arm, but the younger boy flinched and drew further into himself. He kind of felt like an asshole, but also Kakashi definitely deserved at least one of those punches to the face. Instead of talking about his feelings like a normal person, he’d bottled them up until they inevitably exploded. 

Obito wiped at the snot and tears on his own face, before inhaling shakily and shuffling forward on his knees so he could sit next to Kakashi. He winced as he felt the shards of broken glass cutting into his skin, but he ignored the pain. He’d experienced worse, afterall. Much worse. 

Kakashi didn’t flinch when Obito sat next to him, their sides just barely touching. But he didn’t acknowledge his presence, either. 

“Um, Kakashi, I–” he grimaced, unable to decide how to finish the statement. Kakashi was still too busy hyperventilating to respond, anyway. 

He thought about how Kushina had comforted him during his depressive spirals, how she’d stayed close and provided a soothing touch. Kakashi didn’t usually like to be touched, but maybe it would still be helpful to have something to ground him? He really didn’t know, he was completely out of his depth right now! 

“I don’t know if you can really hear me right now, but I’m gonna grab your hand, ok?” Obito told his friend, not seeing any acknowledgement. Still, Kakashi didn’t pull away this time when Obito touched him, so he counted that as a win. “This might be kind of weird, but Kushina used to help me when I was feeling like shit, and I know it’s not the same but–” he sighed, cutting off his own rambling. “I don’t know, maybe it will help.” 

When Kushina did this for him, she helped pull him back to the present when he felt stuck in the past. Making him feel less alone, and even hopeful for the future. Focusing on the sensations, the warmth, and the closeness had helped him when he’d felt lost, so maybe he could do something similar for Kakashi. Kakashi probably wouldn’t like a hug, like Obito did when he was having a bad day, but maybe a little physical contact would ground him.

He held onto Kakashi’s hand, squeezing it supportively. When that didn’t seem to help, on instinct he tried putting Kakashi’s hand firmly over his own chest, right over his heart. “Just–just try to focus on my heartbeat, ok? Or maybe my breathing. Here.” Purposefully, he started taking deep, slow breaths. And gradually, he noticed Kakashi trying to match him. “Hey, that’s it. Just keep copying what I’m doing, alright?” He chuckled lightly. “They’ve started calling you the Copy Ninja, haven’t they? Surely such a simple task isn’t too difficult for you to follow.” 

The joke drew the smallest huff of amusement from Kakashi, and Obito couldn’t help but grin in response. “There ya go,” he soothed, continuing his deep breathing since Kakashi still looked shaky and out of it. 

Now wasn’t the time to boast, but Obito did feel a little proud that he’d come up with something that actually helped. He would definitely rub it in Kakashi’s face later. 

Eventually, Kakashi started to breathe more evenly. Only then did Obito realize that he was still holding Kakashi’s hand over his chest. With an embarrassed flush, he yanked his hand back, coughing awkwardly. He cleared his throat. 

“So. Uh, feeling a bit better?” 

Kakashi blinked at him, his eye glazed and still very bloodshot. “Just peachy,” he rasped. He seemed to realize the vulnerable position he was in and immediately tried to snap back to his normal level of alertness and aloofness. His gaze gradually re-focused as he took in the state they’d found themselves in. He zeroed in on the red-stained glass shards strewn about, stiffening when he noticed Obito’s cut up, bloody clothing. 

Obito shrugged in response. “It’s nothing.” He shifted around, pulling a few shards out of his synthetic skin. There wasn’t enough feeling on that side for it to really hurt, but his real flesh-and-blood knee would definitely be sore after this. 

Other than looking completely drained, it was difficult to interpret what Kakashi was thinking. He just kept staring at Obito and blinking sluggishly. “You used to cry when you stubbed your toe,”  he finally murmured, more contemplative than purposefully unkind. 

“I don’t have much sensation on that side of my body,” Obito responded with another shrug. He stood up, brushing himself off. Then, he started yanking the shards out of his real knee. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, sure, but a few moments of discomfort were nothing compared to his previous misery. “And I’ve grown up a bit since those days.” 

Kakashi reacted to the statement like it was another physical blow. “I’m sorry.” 

“It is what it is,” Obito replied dryly. “Also, it's not your fault.” 

“We both know that’s not true.” Kakashi averted his gaze. 

Frowning, Obito replied, “No, we don’t both know that, because that’s a load of bullshit.”

“Come on,” Kakashi sighed. “Everything that happened to you was because you pushed me out of the way of that boulder. If you had just let me die–” 

“If you finish that sentence, I’ll hit you again,” Obito snapped. 

Fortunately, Kakashi did not finish that particular sentence. He did, however, continue to level a withering stare in Obito’s direction. “Why are you denying it?” 

“Because it’s not true,” Obito growled in response. “You didn’t make this happen to me.” He gestured toward his synthetic arm. 

“No,” Kakashi agreed, “but it only happened because you were trapped by that boulder. And that boulder only trapped you because you saved my life.” 

“And we were only in that cave because Iwa kidnapped Rin,” Obito argued. 

“But maybe if I had just listened to you in the first place and gone after her–” 

“And if Sensei hadn’t left us alone, maybe he would have been able to stop Rin from getting kidnapped at all,” Obito challenged. “Do you think it’s his fault too?” 

Kakashi’s eye narrowed. “Of course not.” 

“While we’re at it, we could blame the Hokage too, for assigning the mission.” He would never tell Kakashi, since he was trying to make a point, but the reason he was able to make this particular argument was because he’d had it with himself many times. In his fits of grief and anger, he’d been more than willing to place the blame on anyone and everyone. 

“That’s not–” 

“Or maybe you can blame me for making us leave late. If we had left earlier, maybe we would have missed the Iwa patrol completely.” He tapped his chin in fake contemplation. “Actually, then we should blame the granny whose cat was stuck in a tree, because I was only late because I was helping her. Or then would it be the cat’s fault?” 

Kakashi continued to glare at him. “You’re missing the point.” 

“No, you’re missing the point,” Obito countered. “Too much shit happened for you to take all the blame. I get that you’re a prodigy, and a control freak, but even you couldn’t have possibly accounted for every single little thing that happened that day.” 

For a few moments, Kakashi silently processed Obito’s response. His expression didn’t soften, but there was a vulnerability behind his still-present glare that he couldn’t quite hide. “You still only got hurt because you pushed me out of the way.” 

It was so tempting to punch Kakashi again. He had to grit his teeth and take purposeful slow, deep breaths to calm his temper. “So what?” he scoffed. “I don’t regret it, if that’s what you’re wondering. I’d do it again.” 

This time, Kakashi’s expression did change. He was clearly shocked, not expecting the easy admission. “What? You can’t be serious.” 

Shrugging, Obito insisted, “I am. I don’t regret saving you.” He could feel Kakashi staring at his synthetic limbs, at the evidence of his suffering. “Yeah, even after all this ,” he held his plant arm up for emphasis, “I don’t regret it. At all.”

Kakashi shook his head in disbelief. “You really are an idiot.” 

“And you’re an arrogant asshole, but I still don’t regret saving your life,” he snapped. 

Kakashi stared at him intently, but didn’t respond to the comment. Eventually, his posture relaxed. He finally looked away, staring blankly across the kitchen. “So you’re really serious about caring for Naruto, then?” 

Obito crossed his arms, preparing for another fight with the abrupt change in topic. “Yeah.” 

“Ok,” Kakashi sighed. “We’ll do it, then.” 

“Huh?” Obito must have misheard. “Did you say, ‘we’? As in, both of us?” 

Kakashi rolled his visible eye and turned back to face Obito again. “If you do it by yourself, you’ll just end up raising another crybaby. We can’t have that,” he teased. “You do know that you can’t respond to a baby’s tantrum by throwing one of your own, right?” 

Obito picked up the nearest half-broken drinking glass off the floor and chucked it at Kakashi. As expected, the stupid prodigy dodged easily. The glass shattered against the cabinet beside him. Kakashi didn’t even flinch at the noise, glancing down dispassionately at the growing pile of broken glass on the floor beside him. 

“My point stands,” Kakashi huffed. 

“Asshole,” Obito grumbled.

Surprisingly, Kakashi didn’t respond to the insult. Instead, his gaze shifted away again. He stood up, his legs only a bit shaky, and turned around so he wasn’t facing Obito at all. “...thank you.” 

“For calling you an asshole?” Obito responded with an amused snort. “Glad you’re finally coming around to your true nature.” 

Kakashi tensed, like he wanted to spit an insult right back, but he seemed to force his body to relax again. “For saying what you did. And for,” he hesitated, as if struggling to find the right words. “...for what you did before.” 

He was so glad that Kakashi wasn’t looking at him, because he was pretty sure his jaw was on the floor for real this time. “Did you just thank me?” 

“Don’t get used to it,” Kakashi snapped, back to his normal clipped tone and attitude. Still, when he turned back to face Obito again, there wasn’t a trace of actual malice in his expression. 

Ah. The poor little stunted genius was embarrassed. As tempting as it was to rub it in Kakashi’s face, he made himself hold back. It felt wrong to make fun of Kakashi’s vulnerability like that. In the past, he wouldn’t have cared, or even thought his words through enough to think about what kind of impact they might have. Now, it was unthinkable. Since he’d seen Kakashi’s reaction to Rin’s suicide, he couldn’t stop seeing his normally stoic friend’s broken expression playing on repeat in his mind. 

This entire interaction confirmed that he’d made the right decision that day, coming back to Konoha. Even if Kakashi had been an avoidant jerk at first, it was obvious that Obito was right about him not being ok after Rin’s death. And he never would have predicted that Sensei and Kushina, two of the strongest people he knew, would have followed her so soon. He didn’t even want to think about what Kakashi would be like if Obito hadn’t stayed with him after the fight with the Kiri nin. He shuddered to think about his friend returning alone to this empty apartment, stewing in his self-imposed guilt. It was certainly not a pretty picture. 

Still, being emotionally vulnerable with Kakashi of all people was no easy feat. It was much easier to just move on from the entire topic before the atmosphere got even more uncomfortable. 

“How about you make it up to me by changing every dirty diaper from now until Naruto’s first birthday?” Obito joked, grinning wildly at Kakashi.

Kakashi shunshin’d away in lieu of a response, leaving Obito shouting curses after him as he realized he’d been left to clean up the mess they’d made. He was going to take back every nice thing he’d ever said about that little jerk! 

—--------------------------------

A few days later, he didn’t even make an appointment, showing up at the Hokage’s office and making a fuss until the Sandaime let him in. The old man looked out of place in the office, despite it having been his for longer than Obito had been alive. The Hokage raised an eyebrow and gestured for Obito to speak his mind. 

“I want to take care of him,” Obito demanded, knowing the Hokage would understand who he was talking about. 

The Sandaime looked at him, his expression worn. It looked like he’d aged another decade in the span of a few short weeks. The look on his face was not unkind, and did hold quite a bit of sympathy, but that somehow made it worse when the old man shook his head. 

“No, Obito. I’m afraid I cannot allow that.” 

He knew that throwing a tantrum in front of the Hokage was frowned upon, but he couldn’t stop his temper from rising. A few ANBU closed in around him as he tensed, but the Sandaime waved them off, unconcerned about Obito’s temper. He held the teen’s gaze, looking authoritative. 

Obito swallowed hard, trying to keep his temper reined in. “Why not? I can raise a baby! How hard can it be?” 

The Sandaime gave him a disbelieving look. “The fact that you’ve just said that tells me all I need to know. Caring for an infant is no easy feat. You are too young and inexperienced for this responsibility. That is my final word.” 

Even though it was an obvious dismissal, Obito was not ready to back down. “I can fight in a war, but I can’t raise a baby?” His tone was far more vindictive than was appropriate for speaking with the village leader, but he couldn’t help it. “I wasn’t too young or inexperienced when I laid down my life for this village!” 

The Sandaime maintained a calm demeanor, despite the subtle shifting of his ANBU in the shadows, reacting to the perceived aggression toward their leader. “Your sacrifice and commitment to the village will always be honored and appreciated, but you do not understand what you are asking for.” 

His gaze shifted toward a newly placed photo on his desk, sitting where Minato’s photos of Team 7 and Kushina had once been. Obito only managed a brief glance at the photo, but he recognized it immediately as the Sandaime’s family. The man was much younger and happier in the photo than he was now. 

Without looking up, the Hokage asked, “Do you remember your first kill, Obito?” He picked up the frame, still staring at it intently. 

Obito blinked in confusion, unsure where the conversation was going. “Of course I do.” Every shinobi did, afterall. It was a very grim yet important milestone, one that was completely unavoidable. 

The old man continued, “I imagine you felt the same as most young shinobi; anxious, guilty, exhilarated, perhaps even a bit nauseous.” 

“Er, yeah. That pretty much sums it up.” He’d also had nightmares about it for weeks after, but he didn’t need to tell the Hokage that. 

“It is inevitable for all shinobi to take a life. Many lives, in fact,” he mused sadly. “And yet, it still becomes routine. Do you know why?” 

Obito shook his head. “No.” 

“Because,” the Hokage explained, “taking lives is easy for a shinobi. It is what we are born and trained to do. But cultivating life?” He clutched at the photo frame desperately, before finally setting it down on his desk with a quiet thunk. “It goes against our very nature. You could fight in 100 wars and still not understand what it means to care for something so fragile and new. Imagine all those emotions you felt after your first kill, and multiply them tenfold, and then you may have some idea of what you are truly asking me to give you.” 

He opened his mouth to argue, but could not find the words. The old man may have just given him an existential crisis. 

Deciding he’d won the argument, the Hokage said once again, “That is my final word.” This time, it was a command. 

The old man turned his back on Obito, returning to more pressing business. He clenched his fists, but didn’t dare backalk the Hokage. Minato might have let him off with a half-hearted scolding, but Minato was no longer the Hokage. The Sandaime had an undeniable fondness for all his citizens, but he also demanded respect from his shinobi. Turning away from Obito was a clear message that he was no longer discussing this matter. 

Bowing respectfully, as protocol demanded, Obito gritted out, “Thank you for your time, Lord Third,” before leaving the office in a funk. 

He wouldn’t deny that the old man’s words were swirling around in his head. Ok, so maybe he had been a little lax with his preparation for child care, but it wasn’t like he was going to just wing it the whole time! He’d planned to get permission to care for Naruto first, and then he could figure out the rest. 

So maybe it wasn’t his best plan. But that didn’t mean he was going to give up! For anyone else, maybe they would have. They would take the Hokage’s word as law and drop the issue. 

Unfortunately for the old man, Obito was nowhere near ready to give up. He just needed to deliver the bad news to Kakashi, and come up with a plan B. 

When he got back to Minato and Kushina’s place, he wasn’t the least bit surprised to find Kakashi already sprawled out on the couch, a book in hand. He spent more time here than at his own apartment these days. Obito didn’t mind, because neither of them seemed to want to be alone, though they didn’t outright say it to each other. 

They also weren’t willing to remind each other that there were in fact two unoccupied rooms in the home, so neither of them technically had to sleep on the couch when they both stayed here. Obito had taken up residence in the remaining spare bedroom, AKA Minato’s home office, since the Uchiha Compound had been destroyed. He offered to trade off nights on the couch when Kakashi stayed too, but Kakashi mostly refused and insisted on sleeping in the living room. 

It might seem wasteful and inefficient to an outsider, but neither of them were willing to disturb either of the remaining unoccupied rooms. The master bedroom remained closed off, and Naruto’s nursery remained pristine and ready for him when/if they could bring him home.

Obito knew that Minato and Kushina wouldn’t mind him living there, and in fact would have probably encouraged it. That didn’t erase all the complex emotions he felt over occupying their home without them there, but considering it was either this or a cardboard box on the street, it wasn’t worth giving into his guilt complex. 

He tried to remind himself that he was also keeping up the property, so technically he was at least paying some kind of rent. And besides making him feel useful, it was also kind of soothing, in a way, caring for their late sensei’s home. It was depressing as hell, but it made Obito feel like he was at least doing something to honor their memory by keeping their home in order. He’d fixed up the holes he’d punched in the wall during his fit of grief and madness, and he’d cleaned up shattered glass from the night the Kyuubi attacked. He dusted, scrubbed, and cleaned everything he could reach with his single arm and a couple of clones, keeping the home far more tidy than he’d ever bothered with his own residence. Sensei and Kushina’s home had been mercifully spared from the beast’s destruction, but without its normal occupants, it had grown dusty and stale. 

His own apartment was reduced to rubble, along with most of his belongings. So on top of everything else, he also had to replace pretty much his entire wardrobe, shinobi tools, and basically all of his other possessions. The only reason he hadn’t spent all of his savings replacing everything was because he was using Sensei and Kushina’s stuff. Their dishes, linens, appliances, and even some of Minato’s old clothing that he’d found in storage. He hoped he could pay them back by giving their son at least some semblance of the life he deserved. 

They’d both agreed that Obito would be the one to try to get custody of Naruto, rather than Kakashi. Well, technically Kakashi got all wide-eyed and panicky at the idea so Obito didn’t push him, but it was basically the same as agreeing. Kakashi would help, as much as he could, but he was much more limited with his availability since he was ANBU. He couldn’t be around all the time, but Obito knew he could rely on Kakashi in a pinch. 

Obito would never say there was anything good about Minato and Kushina’s deaths, but the one not terrible side effect was his relationship with Kakashi. He was still abnormally clingy (and surprisingly garbage at hiding it), like he’d been since Obito functionally returned from the dead, but something had settled between them. Kakashi would always be an arrogant jerkface bastard, but he was much less cold toward Obito than ever before. Sure, he refused to discuss or show any actual emotions (save for his unexpected breakdown a few nights before), but he didn’t even pretend that he didn’t care about Obito, which was more than he’d ever imagined he’d get from Kakashi. Kakashi didn’t even deny it when Obito called him his friend. Ok so he still rolled his eye and mumbled under his breath about it, but Obito knew it was just for show. 

Kakashi took one look at Obito and sighed, “That bad, huh?” He closed his book, giving Obito his full attention. 

Obito grunted out an affirmative. “He said I’m too young and inexperienced.” He stalked over to the couch, plopping down next to Kakashi as his friend sat up to make room next to him. 

Shrugging, Kakashi conceded, “I guess I can see his point.” 

Obito glared at him. “Are you serious? Don’t you even care about what Sensei and Kushina would want? They wouldn’t want Naruto to be left alone in an orphanage!” 

Kakashi held up his hands placatingly. “I didn’t say I agreed with all that, I just said I understood. You are young and inexperienced.” His visible eye narrowed in irritation. “And don’t act like you’re the only one that cares what happens to Naruto.” 

Obito laughed dryly at the statement. “What exactly are you doing to help him? Because I’m the only one who actually tried to get him out of that orphanage, while you were here sitting on your ass!” he snapped. 

Luckily, he controlled his temper enough to keep himself from adding that only a short while ago, Kakashi had acted perfectly content with the idea of not being in Naruto’s life. He knew it had just been a defense mechanism, and that Kakashi cared very much about their late sensei’s son. 

For a few moments, Kakashi just stared blankly at him while Obito seethed. Eventually, he shoved the book he’d been reading roughly into Obito’s hands. Obito frowned, and looked down at the book’s cover. He immediately felt like an asshole as he realized what he was seeing.  

Kakashi had been reading a book about child rearing, specifically about important milestones for the first few years of life. He had pages marked with little tabs and had also written notes in the margins. He was reading the book thoroughly, not just skimming it so he could pretend to care. 

Dammit, why couldn’t Kakashi just say he cared like a normal person?

“Oh,” was all Obito managed. 

Kakashi held his hand out expectantly, accepting the book back from Obito. “You need to work on your apologies.” 

Swallowing a few nasty curses, Obito bit out, “Sorry.” 

“So heartfelt,” Kakashi replied sarcastically, but his posture relaxed. 

“Seriously, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,” he sighed. “I was just frustrated by the meeting with the Sandaime.” 

“Well, don’t take it out on me,” the younger boy chastised. 

Ugh, he hated it when Kakashi was the mature one! “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. For real.” 

Kakashi relaxed further. “That was much better,” he teased, indicating that the argument was officially over. 

Obito accepted the olive branch, and didn’t try to push back. He picked up their previous conversation, and relented, “Fine, I can agree that I maybe don’t know a lot about raising a baby. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to change the Hokage’s mind!” 

“Good.” Kakashi nodded in approval. “If you’d given up so easily, I’d turn you into T&I as an imposter.” 

Obito laughed half-heartedly at the statement. He sank down into the couch, hoping it would swallow him whole, then spit him out with a new idea. Plans weren’t really his strong suit. 

Fortunately, Kakashi was great at planning. “There’s an obvious solution.” 

“Obvious for you, maybe,” Obito grumbled in response. 

Kakashi ignored the attitude aimed at him. “You can’t do anything about your age, but you can do something about your experience.” 

Obito frowned at the younger teen. “What do you mean?” 

Kakashi stared at him like he was an idiot. “Prove that you actually know how to take care of a baby, and that you’re serious about this.” 

He still didn’t get it. “But how do I–oh!” Ah, he finally understood! 

That was how he got the brilliant idea to employ some of his younger cousins to gain some practical knowledge. The problem was, most of his cousins wouldn’t talk to him. He wasn’t exactly well-liked amongst his clan. The only cousin that he still talked to regularly was Shisui, who was well past the baby stage that Obito needed to learn about. Still, he cornered Shisui later that day, and practically begged him for help. 

As it turned out, Shisui had the “perfect” (his own descriptor) solution, and insisted that Obito should talk to his best friend. His best friend, who was the Clan Head’s son. The same Clan Head that very much did not like Obito. Shisui, who was definitely his favorite cousin but also known for getting into mischief, assured him that the Clan Heads would not be around, so it would be perfectly safe to meet with the young heir. He was also wearing his usual shit-eating grin during the whole conversation, so Obito didn’t know if he could believe him. 

It wasn’t that Obito was banned from talking to his fellow Uchiha or anything, but he still wasn’t particularly…welcome. He wasn’t technically disowned, but the elders threatened it almost daily. He was fairly certain that if the Kyuubi hadn’t disrupted their day-to-day lives, he would have already been officially kicked out of the clan. The clan elders, and the head of the clan himself, still hadn’t forgiven Obito for refusing to take his eye back from Kakashi. 

There was also the fact that Fugaku just never liked him. Even before the mess with Kannabi Bridge and giving up his eye, the Clan Head always seemed to find him lacking. Mikoto was nice enough to him, and he’d talked to her more often since she hung around Kushina so much, but she certainly didn’t like him enough to stick her neck out for him. Plus, one time he’d cursed in front of Itachi and she’d never forgiven him for it. 

When Obito met up with the Clan Head’s oldest son, he was willing to speak with his older cousin, but it turned out that the kid wasn’t exactly easy to talk to. Everyone knew that Itachi was a prodigy, but Obito hadn’t realized how much that translated into social awkwardness. He should have known, because he had experience with Kakashi, who was definitely a socially inept genius prodigy too. 

Fortunately, he had an inside source that instructed him on exactly how to handle his younger cousin.

When Shisui told him that Itachi had a major sweet tooth, he thought his cousin was exaggerating. Judging by how Itachi practically inhaled the dango Obito bribed him with, it was not, in fact, an exaggeration.

“So,” Obito began awkwardly, “you’re a kid.” 

Itachi paused mid-bite, giving Obito a curious and calculated look. He offered a single nod of affirmation, before continuing to tear into the dango. 

They met at a park near the ruins of the Uchiha Compound and were sitting side-by-side on a bench. All of the adults were far too busy dealing with the compound’s destruction to care about what one kid was doing, even if that kid was the clan heir. Itachi didn’t seem to mind his older cousin, but there was a shiftiness to him that Obito was used to seeing on older shinobi, not little kids. Even while eating his dango, the kid was keeping an obvious awareness of his surroundings, and never fully relaxed. 

Itachi had his younger brother with him too, safely bundled up against his chest. It was cute, and his cousin was being welcoming enough, but Obito was paranoid that the kid’s parents were going to show up and yell at him for corrupting their precious heir or something. 

“Right. So. How is that, then? You know, being a kid?” Obito winced at the awkwardness of his own question. 

His little cousin, bless his heart, actually took the question seriously. “There are pros and cons. I like being able to spend time with my brother without any major responsibilities, but it is frustrating that adults don’t take me seriously sometimes.” 

“Yeah, and I bet it sucks not being able to reach all the good snacks on the top shelf,” Obito joked. 

The joke fell flat. Itachi just stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “I am not allowed to take snacks out of the pantry without my parents’ permission.” 

“But I bet you do sometimes, right?” he teased, nudging the younger boy playfully with his elbow. “Come on, you can tell me! I won’t tattle!” 

Itachi looked genuinely horrified. “I would never betray my parents’ trust like that.” 

Well, this was a terrible idea. Of course the one kid that would talk to him was the one kid that didn’t actually act like a kid. This was probably a big waste of time. 

“Was there something you needed from me, cousin Obito?” Itachi asked, looking at him expectantly. With some very impressive puppy-dog eyes. 

With a sigh, Obito handed over his own stick of dango, which Itachi took happily. As he started on his second helping, his younger brother started fussing a bit. Without missing a beat, Itachi had gently calmed him, and the infant was back to gurgling comfortably in his older brother’s hold like nothing had happened at all.

“That,” Obito replied. “How did you do that?” 

“Do what?” Itachi asked, confused. 

“Babies!” Obito responded desperately. When he realized his response was pretty nonsensical, he elaborated, “I want to know how to take care of a baby. Shisui thought you might be able to help me.” 

“Oh.” The younger boy was still looking at him curiously, far too analytical for a kid his age. “Are you expecting, cousin Obito?” 

Obito flushed in embarrassment. “What!? No! Who would I–when would I–ugh nevermind.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Just…theoretically. Preparing for the future and all that.”  

He didn’t like how intently his younger cousin was studying him, trying to draw his own conclusions. Regardless of whatever conclusions he came to, Itachi still humored him. “I don’t think there’s one right way to take care of a baby.” He smiled down warmly at his younger brother, poking one of his chubby cheeks affectionately. “As long as you make sure they are safe and protected, and you can try to make the world a better place for them. I think that’s what is most important.” 

“That’s a nice philosophy and all, but it won’t help me learn how to change diapers,” Obito sighed. 

“No,” Itachi agreed. Thoughtfully, he added, “I may know something that might.” 

“Really?” Obito asked, excited at the idea of a possible solution. 

Itachi nodded and explained, “When my mother first told me I was going to have a younger sibling, I was very nervous. It helped me to read about what to expect.” He frowned. “Unfortunately all my books were in my room when the Kyuubi destroyed the Compound. I doubt they survived, which is unfortunate since I borrowed them from the library. It will be the first time I have not returned a book by its due date.” He sounded genuinely forlorn about the realization. 

It was a good idea, which was probably why Kakashi had already started reading some child care books. Actually, it was probably a great idea, but it was also homework , which was the bane of Obito’s existence. He liked reading, when he could actually sit down and focus on a book, but he never read anything this dry. The only time he ever picked up any kind of non-fiction book was for the academy, and he usually ended up needing Rin to summarize it for him because it was too boring to get through. 

“How many books did you read?” 

Itachi thought about the question, then replied, “Only fourteen. But I read some of them two or three times.” 

Obito groaned, already picturing the undoubtedly dry, complicated texts the kid must have read. “Can’t you just summarize the important stuff? Or maybe show me what to do?” He gestured toward the younger of the two brothers. 

Itachi held the infant closer to his chest, immediately going on the defensive. “My brother is not a Guinea pig. If you read all the books I tell you to, I’ll think about letting you hold him.” 

“Just hold him?” Obito whined. “What about all the other stuff? I need to learn everything! I just–” He inhaled shakily, trying to calm himself. “I just don’t have time to read a bunch of books and stuff. I need to know right now!” 

Once again, Itachi was studying him with far too much wisdom for his age. Something seemed to click in his mind, and his expression settled into something softer. “Is this about Lord Fourth and Aunt Kushina’s baby?” 

Obito’s shoulders slumped, knowing there was no point in denying it. “...yeah.” 

Itachi nodded in understanding. “My mother took myself and Sasuke to see him at the hospital, but we weren’t allowed to visit.” 

Obito knew he had to be careful what he said. Genius or not, Itachi was just a little kid, and little kids were notorious for revealing things that they shouldn’t. Maybe he already knew, considering who his parents were and what they might talk about around him, but Obito wasn’t exactly sure what the public was being told about Naruto at this point. 

“I want to take care of him,” Obito admitted. “But I don’t know anything about babies. I don’t even know if I like babies, but I know that I’ll like him. I mean, I already do.” He laughed awkwardly. “Is that weird? I only met him for like, 30 seconds.” 

In response to the question, Itachi held his younger brother tighter. “No, I understand.” He looked very conflicted, then reluctantly added, “You can hold Sasuke if you want. But only for a short time. And you have to stay right here. And sitting down.” 

“I’ve held a baby before,” he replied, a little petulantly. “I held you , when you were a baby!” 

“My mother said you dropped me,” Itachi deadpanned.  

“I didn’t–it was very close to the ground!” Obito huffed. “And technically I didn’t drop you, I just sort of fumbled you a little.”

Completely serious, Itachi told him, “Please don’t fumble my little brother.”  

“I won’t!” 

“Promise?” Itachi narrowed his eyes, looking shockingly threatening for someone of his stature. 

“Yes, yes, I promise!” 

Itachi studied him for a bit longer, then scooted closer to his older cousin. Reluctantly, he shifted the sleeping infant into the crook of Obito’s good arm. He wouldn’t risk supporting the baby with his synthetic arm, which was still regrowing and regaining strength. Fortunately, Sasuke was so small that one arm was plenty to keep him comfortable and secure. 

“Make sure you support his head,” Itachi instructed. 

“I am.” 

“And keep him close to your body.” 

“I’m doing that too,” Obito huffed. 

“And don’t move around too much.” 

“I’m not!” 

Despite all the verbal instructions that Obito was definitely following, his little cousin did not stop hovering. It was both very sweet, and very obnoxious. 

As he’d told Itachi, he’d held a baby before. Multiple babies, in fact! Before the clan realized what a screw up he was and he still got invited to family events. But it had been a while. A long while. And now he had a much better understanding of how fragile life really was. 

“He’s so small,” Obito murmured. “Doesn’t it scare you, how small he is?” 

“Yes,” Itachi admitted easily. 

“How do you deal with it?” Obito asked, keeping his voice low so he wouldn’t disturb the now dozing infant. 

Itachi shrugged. “I just try to be the best big brother I can be. To protect him.” 

“That’s what I want to do for Naruto,” Obito said, more to himself. It was like a promise, that he wouldn’t give up on trying to care for the kid. 

Itachi nodded in approval. Then, his face fell, looking genuinely remorseful. “My mother told me what happened to Lord Fourth and Aunt Kushina. You were the Hokage’s student, weren’t you?” 

Obito swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. “Yeah. I was.” 

“I am sorry for your loss,” the younger boy told him, sounding genuine. He hesitated, then added, “They were both very nice. Lord Fourth let me wear the Hokage hat, once. And Aunt Kushina always brought my favorite sweets when she came to visit.” 

Obito smiled sadly. “Yeah, they were pretty great.” He sniffled, failing to hold back all of his tears. He didn’t really want to cry in front of a little kid, especially the Clan Head’s son, but Itachi didn’t seem particularly bothered. 

With the kind of certainty and honesty that only a small child could manage, Itachi told him, “I think you’ll be a good brother.” 

If anyone else asked, Obito definitely did not burst into tears at the statement. 

—--------------------------------

He read through every book he could find on child care and child psychology, grateful for his Sharingan’s photographic memory. He also talked to the grannies he always helped, asking them about their children and grandchildren. A few of them even let him babysit! It took time, but he slowly began building a reputation for being a reliable (and fun, he liked to think) babysitter. 

Unfortunately, he also learned that kids often found his scarred, one-eyed face rather intimidating. However, he also learned that as soon as he put on an eyepatch, they all seemed to become convinced he was a pirate, and therefore Very Cool instead of scary. Even though adults generally did not have quite the same simplistic thought process, Obito still started to feel more comfortable wearing one in public regardless. He wondered if this was kind of how Kakashi felt when he wore his face mask. 

There were always D-rank requests for babysitters, and since the Kyuubi attack those requests had doubled or maybe even tripled. There were far more single parents and orphans than there used to be in the village. Plus, many shinobi were taking extra missions or security shifts to make up for the losses. 

Kakashi was one of those, out of the village more often than not. Conversely, Obito was still on forced leave from any real missions, but he’d at least been given the go ahead to take on D-ranks. He was cleared to start light physical activity too, which was fortunate because some of the kids he babysat were little terrors. It was basically a workout trying to keep them under control. 

His hand hadn’t grown back yet, but it seemed to be close! His arms were almost the same length now, and he could run at least a handful of laps around the training field without feeling like his legs were going to fall off or his chest was going to explode. It was progress, but it was slow. 

He still had absolutely no control over the Moukuton, nor was there anyone alive that could help him. He was pretty sure it gave him a new affinity for plant care, though, because all of Minato and Kushina’s potted plants were thriving in a way they never had before. But every time he tried to recreate what he’d (allegedly) done to the Kiri nin, he didn’t even get so much as a little sprout under his control. 

Training with his Sharingan wasn’t going much better. He and Kakashi trained together a bit, but Obito was still recovering and it turned out that the Sharingan absolutely drained Kakashi’s chakra reserves. Hence why he kept it covered all the time.

Somewhere in the chaos and carnage, his Sharingan had apparently fully developed a third tomoe, for both him and Kakashi. For anyone else, it would have been a celebration for the clan. For him, all he got was another stern lecture from one of the elders about how much of a disgrace he was for giving Kakashi his eye. That meant he was on his own for figuring out his clan’s doujutsu as well. He wished he’d paid more attention to his grandmother’s lectures when he was young! 

Still, despite the frustrating lack of progress in his training, and the stack of overdue library books he’d accumulated, he knew it would be worth it. It would be worth it when he could bring Naruto home and give him the life he deserved. Naruto didn’t belong in an orphanage, not when there were still people that would love him as much as his parents would. 

After a few months of physical conditioning, book reading, and babysitting, Obito stood before the Sandaime again. The old man was curious, and allowed Obito to plead his case once more. 

“I can’t change my age,” Obito explained, “but I have been doing research and gaining practical experience.” He handed the Sandaime a list he’d made of all the books he’d read, along with a few written statements from some of the grannies supporting his claims of maturity. At Kakashi’s insistence, he’d also included a copy of all the reports (which Kakashi had also made sure were completed meticulously) for the D-rank babysitting missions he’d taken. 

The Sandaime flipped through the stack of papers, an eyebrow raised in surprise. “You’ve put quite a bit of thought into this,” he commented, his tone difficult to interpret. 

Obito stood tall, his head held high. “I did. I’m serious about this, Lord Third. I know nothing can fully prepare you for raising a kid, but I’m doing everything I can possibly think of to be as ready as possible.” 

The Hokage looked up from the papers, his gaze critical and his gaze calculating. He stared at Obito for a few moments, before letting out a weary sigh. “While I appreciate your initiative, and I am very pleased with your progress, I’m still going to have to deny your request.”

“What? Why?” He hated that he sounded a bit like a petulant child. It didn’t help that his voice had started to crack at random times too. 

“You know why Naruto’s heritage is being kept a secret,” the Sandaime explained. “As one of Minato’s known students, it would be too obvious if you gave Naruto any special attention.” 

“But Sensei and Kushina wanted us to be like a family!” he protested. “Kushina said that me and Kakashi were going to be Naruto’s older brothers!” 

The old man did at least look sympathetic. He placed a supportive hand on Obito’s shoulder. “I am sorry, my boy. I know that Minato and Kushina would want you involved in their son’s life, but I just can’t risk it. They asked me to keep him safe, and I am doing that the best way I know how.” 

Obito bit his tongue to keep himself from arguing with the Hokage. He knew that if he stayed he would just get angrier, and say something stupid. He numbly thanked the Hokage for his time and left the office in a daze. 

What now? He really thought his plan would work! Ugh, he’d spent all his time lately in a stupid library and didn’t even have anything to show for it!

Feeling defeated, Obito decided against going home. Instead, he followed the familiar path to the Memorial Stone. He’d been here many times since Sensei and Kushina died, sometimes with Kakashi, and sometimes on his own. More than a few times, he’d found Kakashi standing here, looking like he hadn’t moved in hours. He always made it a point to drag Kakashi away to get food or go back to Sensei and Kushina’s home. Anything to get Kakashi out of his own head. 

Although, this time someone might need to come get Obito out of his own head. He sighed sadly and placed a hand on the cold stone in front of him, finding the three familiar names. He traced his finger over each name. 

“I could use a little guidance here,” Obito asked the ghosts. “Maybe a sign from beyond the grave telling me how to make the old man listen?” 

There was no answer, not even a slight breeze. No beam of light peeking through the clouds, no sign that he was talking to anything other than a chunk of rock. 

“Come on, Sensei. No words of wisdom?” It was probably a pretty pathetic sight, Obito begging a rock for answers. “How about you, Kushina? You’d probably just start punching people until you got your way,” he chuckled. “And Rin–” 

How could it still hurt so much to think of her? To think of any of them? Time was supposed to heal all wounds, wasn’t it? 

“You would know what to say, Rin. You always did.” He retraced her name, his hand shaking. He let his head fall forward, gently resting his forehead against the Memorial Stone. His breath hitched, and his tears dripped against the unforgiving stone. 

“I’m sorry, I’m still messing everything up, just like always,” he sobbed. “It feels like nothing I do is ever good enough.” Lately, he’d been feeling more self-loathing than anger, which he wasn’t sure was an improvement. He just felt like he was letting his precious people down. 

“You asked me what kind of older brother I was going to be,” he hiccuped, remembering the comforting conversation he’d had with Kushina in the hospital. “I still don’t know, and now I might never find out. I’m so sorry. They won’t let me–” It hurt too much to keep talking. 

He let himself cry for a bit, his fingers unconsciously tracing each etched name over and over again. It was a motion so familiar that he didn’t need to see what he was doing to follow the path each name took. He didn’t know how long he stood in front of the stone, crying like a child, and waiting for answers that would never come. Eventually, the shadows became elongated, and the world became reflected in glows of oranges and reds. 

Once his tears had finally run out, he heard the quiet crunching of leaves behind him. The announcement of arrival for a shinobi. A courtesy, really, to avoid setting off honed battle instincts. 

Trying to compose himself, Obito asked with every ounce of fake nonchalance that he could muster, “I thought you were on a mission?” He didn’t stop leaning against the stone yet, not wanting to reveal his current state of weakness any more than he already had. 

Even without turning around, he could feel Kakashi’s gaze practically burning him. “I got back a few hours ago,” the younger shinobi responded. “I knew you had another meeting with the Sandaime today, so when I couldn’t find you I assumed it didn’t go well.” 

Obito laughed dryly. “Well, they do call you a genius for a reason.” He finally stood up straight, but kept his eyes glued to the stone. 

Kakashi didn’t react to the sharp sarcasm, other than a quiet, irritated huff. He walked forward, stopping in front of the Memorial Stone so he was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Obito. He didn’t say a word, and he was keeping his expression frustratingly neutral. Even though he’d seen Kakashi in the midst of a full breakdown, the bastard still wanted to pretend that he didn’t have any actual emotions. 

The two of them maintained their silent vigil until the first star twinkled in the darkened sky. They weren’t quite close enough to touch, but he could still feel the warmth radiating from Kakashi’s shoulder next to his own, particularly as the ambient temperature started to drop. He couldn’t help but glance to his side, studying the expression on his friend’s face. 

Despite the neutrality he projected, there was a fragility behind his carefully constructed mask (the metaphorical one, but maybe the real one too) that Obito didn’t know how he’d missed in the past. Was it more obvious now because he could read Kakashi better, or because Kakashi was finally warming up to him and showing his true self? They were no longer strangers, schoolyard rivals, or even just teammates. They were friends. Sure, they still got on each other's nerves, but on most days they could carry a conversation without it turning into a full argument! Kakashi was still a shit conversationalist, but most of the time he was almost not terrible to talk to. He wished Sensei could see how far they’d come. 

Kakashi noticed Obito staring, and turned to meet his gaze. His facial muscles twitched minutely, like he wanted to slip into old habits and snap at Obito for daring to look in his direction. He held off, and raised an eyebrow instead. 

Obito scowled in response, refusing to show more vulnerability than Kakashi. Neither wanted to be the first to break eye contact, as if it was another stupid competition between them. 

Eventually, Obito sighed and looked away. It was not an admission of defeat, dammit! He was just tired of looking at Bakashi’s stupid face. “This time, the Sandaime said it would make Naruto too much of a target to have one of Sensei’s students caring for him. It would make it too obvious who he was.” 

Kakashi’s brow furrowed, and he was definitely frowning under his mask now. He absorbed the information carefully, still staring intently at Obito. 

Mr. by-the-book Kakashi would probably agree with the old man. He would never go against the Hokage’s ruling to keep Naruto’s parentage a secret, and if that meant him and Obito staying away from the kid, he’d probably do that too. Ugh, he really didn’t feel like having an argument right now–

“That’s stupid,” Kakashi replied succinctly. 

Obito gaped at the younger boy, wondering if he was actively having a stroke. Or if he was stuck in a genjutsu. “Did you just say the Hokage’s orders were stupid?” 

Kakashi flushed bright red, as if now just realizing the implications of what he’d said. “That’s not what I said!” he insisted, his eye darting around as if looking for a hidden presence that would hear his disobedience. “I said that the idea of one of us making Naruto more of a target is stupid.” 

“I fail to see the difference.” 

The flush on Kakashi’s face worsened. “Then that’s on you for being a small-minded idiot,” he snapped. 

He couldn’t even get mad about the insult, because Kakashi was so clearly deflecting and it was hilarious. “This is the most amazing moment of my life.” 

“Your life must be very sad, then,” Kakashi hissed in response. 

“Oh, definitely,” Obito replied with an eye roll. He was not going to stoop to Kakashi’s level this time! He knew he was being baited into starting a fight so Kakashi wouldn’t feel so targeted. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I just got to hear notoriously rule loving, stick-up-the-ass Kakashi voice his first treasonous thoughts.” 

Kakashi looked torn between genuine horror, and wanting to just rip Obito’s head off. “I did not say anything treasonous!” 

Obito wiped away a fake tear. “They grow up so fast. It feels like just yesterday you were throwing a tantrum because Sensei tried to submit a report in purple ink instead of blue.” 

It looked like Kakashi was preparing to punch him (or maybe stab him), but then he seemed to remember where they were. Hot-tempered brat or not, he knew starting a fight here, in a place of remembrance, was a very bad idea. It was incredibly disrespectful not only to the memory of those on the Memorial Stone, but also anyone that may want to come by to mourn. 

Based on the look on Kakashi’s face, Obito knew he was going to get it later, though. Kakashi would probably “accidentally” stab him with a fork while making dinner. Again. 

Snickering to himself at the sight of Kakashi’s indignant expression, Obito eventually managed to calm down. “Ok, ok, I was just kidding. I actually want to hear what you have to say, because then I can throw it back in the old man’s face.” 

Kakashi just glared a him for a full minute, still seeming to debate whether it was worth disturbing the peace and trying to pummel Obito into the ground. Fortunately, he did not choose violence this time, but he did cross his arms petulantly. 

“Anyone who thinks Naruto’s parentage is actually secret is an idiot,” Kakashi scoffed. “And the same goes for–” he cut himself off with a grimace. “...that other thing.” He may be testing boundaries, but he was not quite ready to say out loud that Naruto was the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, not when the gag order on that very topic was so fresh. 

“It’s painfully obvious,” Kakashi continued. “If they wanted to keep him a secret, they shouldn’t have given him the Uzumaki name. It would make him a target regardless of who his parents were.” 

“By ‘they’, do you mean the Hokage?” Obito snickered again, enjoying the line Kakashi was toeing between obedience and dissent. 

Kakashi just glared at him some more, choosing to ignore Obito completely this time. “Anyone who knew Sensei, in the village or outside of it, would put the pieces together the second they heard the Uzumaki name. He’s also already starting to look like both of them, and we know other villages knew about Kushina’s pregnancy,” he reasoned. 

“We do?” The look Kakashi gave him definitely said, “don’t ask questions”, so Obito didn’t say anything else. 

“You don’t think that, theoretically of course,” Kakashi said carefully, “the village wouldn’t investigate any potential sources of a security leak that could have led to Kushina’s seal failing?” 

Ah. Obito may not be the smartest person, but he could read between the lines. An ANBU mission, perhaps? “I guess that makes sense.” 

“Regardless,” Kakashi continued, “I don’t understand the point of hiding something that everyone already knows.” 

“Damn, I should be writing all this down!” Obito whined, worrying he’d forget some of Kakashi’s talking points. He would definitely bring all this up to the Sandaime and hope that it would change his mind. “Or, maybe you could write it down for me so I don’t miss anything?” he grinned. 

“You just don’t want to do the work yourself,” Kakashi accused. 

Obito shook his head, still grinning. “No, no, that’s not it, you just have better handwriting! And you’re great at summarizing important information!” 

He thought Kakashi would brush him off again, but the younger teen surprised him by muttering, “...fine.” 

Obito whooped triumphantly. “Hell yeah, that old man won’t know what hit him!” 

Kakashi actually punched him in the arm this time. “That ‘old man’ is the Hokage, idiot!” he hissed. “Be careful what you say.” 

“Oh please,” Obito huffed, rubbing at the sore spot on his arm, “it’s not like he’s gonna arrest me for calling him old. He is old! Besides,” he added playfully, “ you’re the one that’s suggesting we break some rules. I still can’t believe it,” he sighed wistfully. 

“I’m not breaking any–ugh, whatever,” Kakashi scoffed. “I’m just thinking logically, that’s all.” 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.” He knew he was making a big deal out of nothing, but it was really a huge step for Kakashi! Kakashi never tried to do anything against the grain! “All joking aside, I am glad for your help. I actually came here looking for some advice, but this stupid rock was as silent as ever.” He patted the Memorial Stone reverently, despite his word choice.

Kakashi nodded in understanding. His eye skimmed over the stone once again, his expression falling. “I wish I could go back and tell my old self not to take all of Sensei’s advice for granted.” 

“I wish I could go back and tell my old self to hoard some of Kushina’s cooking,” Obito sighed sadly. “Or maybe at least learn some of her recipes.” 

Kakashi managed a small huff of laughter. “Yeah. And I should have learned some basic medical ninjutsu like Rin–” He grimaced, his visible eye flicking back toward Obito guiltily. 

It still hurt, hearing her name, but it hurt more pretending like she’d never existed. “Yeah, me too. Rin was always getting on us about not learning the basics, but we were both pretty stubborn, weren’t we?” 

“...yeah. We were.” Kakashi relaxed minutely, but his attention turned back toward the Memorial Stone. He seemed to be debating something, then added, “You know things are different now, right?” 

“Eh?” That was a pretty vague statement and Obito wasn’t sure how to interpret it. 

Kakashi looked back at him, his eye sharp and focused. “What I did back then–how I was–” he was struggling, but maintained eye contact and didn’t back down. It looked like he definitely wanted to, though. “I was wrong to leave Rin behind. And I was wrong to treat you the way I did. I was wrong about a lot of things. I won’t ever make the same mistakes again,” he promised. “I won’t ever leave a comrade behind because–” he swallowed hard, failing to hide his desperation for comfort and approval. “Those who abandon their friends are worse than scum, right?” 

“You–you remember what I said?” He hadn’t expected to hear Kakashi parrot his words. He expected that they would just be forgotten in the chaos, or that Kakashi wouldn’t really have listened at all. “I didn’t think you were really listening to me.”  

“I always listened to you,” Kakashi admitted quietly. “I just didn’t always want to hear what you were saying. But I heard what you told me before you went after Rin, and I haven’t forgotten. I won’t. I promise.” 

Shit, he wasn’t going to cry again, nope! “I believe you,” Obito replied honestly, his voice a little shaky from emotion. 

Kakashi nodded, his shoulders losing some of the tension he seemed to have gradually picked up during their conversation. He finally looked away, seeming embarrassed about the intensity of his declaration. 

Deciding to spare Kakashi’s stunted feelings, Obito nudged him playfully with his elbow. “So, you gonna write some of those fancy genius words down for me, or not?” 

Kakashi shot him an exasperated look, but he didn’t say no. 

Chapter Text

The next time Obito scheduled a meeting with the Sandaime, in another few weeks, he was mostly parroting words that he’d gotten from Kakashi. The Sandaime must know that Kakashi was involved, because Obito was not this observant, but the man didn’t comment on it. He let Obito get through most of his explanation before he interrupted. 

Reading through the helpful summary Kakashi had written for him, Obito continued, “Furthermore, the notion that myself or Kakashi being involved in Naruto’s life would make him more of a target than he already is would be incorrect.” He felt like a pompous asshole, using the word “furthermore” unironically, which was probably why Kakashi had written it for him.  

The Sandaime was sitting behind his desk, pipe in hand as he listened to Obito’s newest argument. At least he hadn’t stopped allowing Obito to make appointments. “And why is it incorrect, Obito?” 

“Well,” Obito explained, “it’s just really obvious already.” Kakashi’s words had been a bit more succinct, but Obito’s summary sounded less pretentious so he deviated from the script a little. “There was only one Uzumaki in the village, and everyone knew her, and that she was pregnant. So either Naruto is Kushina’s kid, or he’s a random Uzumaki kid that appeared in the village after the only known Uzumaki in the village died. Given that he already has Sensei’s blond hair and blue eyes, it’s pretty easy to connect the dots,” he reasoned. 

The Hokage took a few puffs of his pipe, deep in thought. “You do make some good points,” he conceded. “However, it would still put more of a target on him to be raised outside of the orphanage.” 

“He already has a target on him!” Obito insisted. “Even if it wasn’t stupidly obvious that he’s Sensei’s son, he’s also a jinchuuriki and an Uzumaki!” 

The old man wouldn’t dare suggest that the former was a well-kept secret. Even if it was now forbidden to talk about, the village already knew what happened to the demon fox that night. They knew who now housed it. 

“I have precautions in place,” the Sandaime said sharply. “Do you believe that you could do better than an entire ANBU squad?” 

The childish part of him wanted to scream that absolutely could, but he wasn’t a naive, idealistic kid anymore. That little kid had died in the cave with Madara. “I could do better than civilian caretakers at an orphanage,” he countered. “Especially ones that are biased toward him because of the fox.” 

“That is a serious claim,” the Hokage warned. “All of the boy’s caretakers were carefully vetted. They are also under constant surveillance.” 

“Ok so they probably won’t kill him or starve him or something, but that doesn’t mean they’ll treat him well!” Obito insisted. “They won’t love him, not like he deserves. They’ll only see the fox.” 

The Sandaime shook his head. “You don’t know that. Naruto is being raised just like any other child, and his care will reflect that.” 

The old man couldn’t really be that naive, could he? Obito crossed his arms. “Ask your ANBU how he’s been treated. And I don’t mean if he’s getting the basic necessities.” 

First, the Sandaime’s eyes narrowed. Then, he sighed and started rubbing at his temples. “I see what you’re planning. You’re going to double team me, aren’t you?” He sighed again. “Alright, Hound, let’s hear your report.” 

In the blink of an eye, a masked operative was kneeling in front of the Hokage’s desk. Obito barely stopped himself from giving Kakashi a thumbs up. The asshole’s plan was really working! 

“Lord Third,” Hound greeted respectfully. “On multiple occasions, I have noted Naruto Uzumaki’s cries being ignored on average three times as long as other children of similar age. He is also consistently the least likely to be given new toys or games. He is held, on average, 80% less than the other children. His care always meets the bare minimum standards, though just barely.” Without missing a beat, Kakashi added, “I have also heard him called ‘demon’ and ‘monster’ more than his actual name.” 

The Hokage was frowning, looking genuinely concerned about the information. “Why has this not been reported previously?” 

“The parameters of our report were only to confirm whether or not Naruto Uzumaki was safe, and receiving essential care,” Hound recited dutifully. 

From where Obito was standing, he could see Kakashi’s eyes through his mask, and couldn’t miss how they were shining triumphantly. He failed to suppress a pleased grin of his own, which didn’t go unnoticed by the Hokage. Fortunately, the old man looked more amused at their antics than anything, though he was clearly bothered by the information he’d received about Naruto’s care. 

“I see,” the Hokage sighed, setting his pipe down. “That is quite the oversight on my part. I thank you both for bringing this issue to my attention.” 

Obito tried not to look too eager as he asked, “So does that mean–” 

The Sandiame cut him off with a wave of his hand. “No, Obito. I am sorry, but I still cannot make you the boy’s guardian.” 

“But I–why not?” He frowned, trying to hide his frustration at the quick dismissal. 

Shaking his head, the Hokage just answered, “It’s complicated.” He hesitated, then relented, “I suppose you deserve to know the truth.” He picked up his pipe again, relighting it and taking a big puff. The smoke clouded the office, and Obito had to force himself not to cough or gag at the smell. “You are not the only person who has come to me seeking guardianship of Naruto.” 

Obito was surprised by that. Besides him and Kakashi, he didn’t know who else would have even felt like they had enough of a reason to try. Maybe Master Jiraiya, but as far as Obito knew, the Sannin still hadn’t been back to meet his late student’s son, or even visit his memorial. 

Seeing Obito’s confusion, the Hokage clarified, “Mikoto Uchiha was in here shortly before you made this request the first time.” 

That actually wasn’t surprising, given how close Kushina and Mikoto had been. What was surprising was that her request for guardianship was denied too. Unlike Obito, she was not lacking in resources or experience. And the Uchiha knew how to keep secrets, so it would have been laughably simple to keep Naruto safely hidden away and out of the spotlight. Honestly, Mikoto would have been a great fit, so Obito didn’t understand why she would have been denied. 

“Why wasn’t she granted guardianship? She and Kushina were very close,” Obito voiced his thoughts. Sure, he wanted to have a relationship with Naruto, but he knew that he really wasn’t the best person to raise a child. So if someone like Mikoto could take care of him and then Obito could just be the cool uncle with less responsibility? That sounded like a much better deal. Mikoto probably wouldn’t bar him from seeing Naruto. Probably. 

“You have not been closely involved with your clan in many years, so you may not have noticed how the tension and mistrust between the clan and the village has progressed,” the Hokage explained. 

Obito barely suppressed a snort at the comment. Of course he’d noticed. Most of his clan didn’t like him, but that didn’t mean that other people took that as a reason to trust him. Sure, he had a good relationship with a lot of the grannies in the village, but most people looked at him like they did with any of the Uchiha. If anything, it had gotten worse since Kannabi Bridge because of how he looked. 

Instead of voicing his more complex thoughts, Obito replied dryly, “I noticed.” 

The Hokage nodded in understanding. “Given the state of the relations between the village and the Uchiha, it would be unwise to put our village’s jinchuuriki in their care, no matter who his mother was.” 

It felt like he was punched in the gut. Even Kakashi seemed to tense minutely, though he remained obediently crouched in place. He’d heard the rumors, of course, because it was impossible to miss the vicious whispers about his kin. Sure, some of the Uchiha were stuck up assholes, but they wouldn’t have done something so terrible! The rumors that the Kyuubi had a Sharingan reflected in its eyes were just that–rumors. The only person who had ever been able to control the Kyuubi was dead–

Shit, he might not really be dead. He certainly wasn’t dead when he kept Obito in that stupid cave. But now? The old man had been absolutely ancient, and there hadn’t been any sign of him since Obito escaped. Had Madara done this? Maybe he’d somehow regained power and returned to seek vengeance on the village. 

Regardless, this shouldn’t be preventing Obito from being able to care for Sensei and Kushina’s son! It wasn’t like he was particularly active in the clan, or really had anything in common with them other than a name and some physical characteristics. He wasn’t allowed at meetings or special events. He didn’t even have anyone willing to help him with their signature doujutsu, for Sage’s sake! How convenient that he was only recognized as an Uchiha when it was for something bad. Any other time, he might as well not even be part of the clan. 

It wasn’t like the clan gave a shit after he’d been listed as KIA, or when he’d come back from being held captive and tortured by one of their insane distant relatives. Ok so only the Clan Head and a select few knew about Madara, but still! They all knew that he’d been willing to give his life for the village, and for the clan, and still hadn’t even bothered to welcome him back. All his life he’d fought for their recognition, and to actually feel like he was more than just an Uchiha in name. What did it mean that the first time he’d ever actually felt like he was included with the rest of them, it was because they were under suspicion for treason? The burn of anger and unfairness was back, coiling around him like a snake. 

The Sandaime must have mistook Obito’s silence for a concern about the relations between his clan and the village. “I am truly sorry, Obito. For what it’s worth, I think that you would have given Naruto a wonderful life.” 

Obito just nodded numbly, not trusting himself to speak. He could feel his whole body shaking, mostly from rage and frustration. He had to bite his tongue, hard enough to draw blood, to keep himself from telling the old man exactly what he thought of his platitudes. Obito barely offered a cursory nod of respect to the Hokage before basically fleeing his office. He had so many conflicting emotions swirling around inside him and he needed to get them out. 

Right now, it was mostly anger and resentment. It wasn’t fair! It didn’t matter what he did or how hard he tried, he was never who he needed to be. The clan would never accept him, but apparently the village had no problem lumping him in with the rest of his distant relations. 

He wasn’t on good enough terms with the clan to know if there really was a traitor amongst them, but he didn’t believe there was. Sure, the clan and the village may be butting heads, but he didn’t think anyone in the clan was dumb enough to think that releasing the Kyuubi would help anything. Releasing a giant, destructive chakra beast in the contained space where they all lived would be an idiotic way to solve their problems. Case in point, their entire compound had been destroyed! All the “historically relevant” land that the elders were whining about losing, all of their possessions, all of their shrines and monuments, gone. 

And even if there was a single traitor, that didn’t mean the entire clan was at fault! Was the Hokage really going to let a rumor keep him from giving Minato and Kushina’s son a loving home? Even if Obito was never allowed to become Naruto’s guardian, he would have understood and gladly accepted it if someone like Mikoto was able to care for him. Everyone knew she and Kushina were close friends! Their exploits on their shared chunin and jounin squads were practically legendary. Would anyone really have been so opposed to one retired kunoichi raising her recently deceased best friend’s son? 

Kushina would be absolutely furious if she knew Naruto was in an orphanage at all, but especially knowing that multiple people she trusted had come forward to care for him but were turned away. Hadn’t she and Minato already sacrificed enough? They gave their lives for the village, and gave their son the burden of the Kyuubi, all to give him a chance at a better future. The Sandaime might as well spit on their graves too, allowing their legacy, their precious son, to be isolated and abandoned over a rumor . 

He needed to blow off some steam. If he went back to Minato and Kushina’s place, he’d probably end up putting more holes in the wall. Thankfully, he easily found an empty training ground. He definitely didn’t feel like sharing right now. 

Without wasting any time, Obito started venting his anger the only way he knew how; by beating the absolute shit out of the training dummies. There was no finesse or strategy, just a barrage of every destructive technique his hazy, rage-filled brain could muster. Mainly fire, lots of fire. Because if there was one thing he did actually have in common with the rest of his clan, it was his pyromaniac tendencies. 

Launching fireballs at the training dummies only made him angrier, because it reminded him that no one had bothered to teach him his clan’s signature technique. His grandmother had been too frail by the time he came of age to learn, and no one else was willing. He had to figure it out by himself, which led to all sorts of snide comments from Kakashi over his failings. Minato-sensei had offered to help, but Obito had to refuse. Getting help from an outsider would have been worse than not mastering the technique at all. 

Once the training dummies were burnt to ash, he switched his attention to the rows of targets. If he was in his right mind, he would have realized that he was ruining the training ground for everyone else, but he was too busy screaming and raging. Even though the fire wasn’t actually anywhere near him, Obito felt like he was the one burning from the inside out. 

“Stupid–fucking–bullshit–not fair–godsdamned–piece of shit–” His grandmother would have washed his mouth out with soap if she heard him. Sensei would have just sighed in exasperation, but he’d let Obito get it out of his system. Kushina would have laughed and joined him in his cursing and venting. Rin would have definitely scolded him, and he could perfectly picture the face she made when she was lecturing him about acting foolish. Gods, he missed that so much. 

There was only one target left now, all the rest burnt to ash. It felt like he needed to do some kind of finale, one final release of all his pent up rage and energy. He turned toward the last target, screaming his frustration and anger. 

And then, a massive tree root sprung from the ground and skewered the target, dead center. 

Obito was left panting and gaping at the sight, because that was–

“Moukuton…you really can do it.” 

Wincing, Obito spun around, facing a very wide-eyed Kakashi. He was dressed back in his jounin gear, no ANBU mask in sight. And he was staring at Obito with a mixture of fascination and trepidation. 

“I–” What the hell was he even supposed to say? “How much of that did you see?” 

Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly. “The Sandaime dismissed me after you left and said I should go check on you. He figured you’d be upset, but I doubt he expected…this.” He gestured toward the ruined, still smoldering training ground, before running through a series of hand signs that summoned a deluge of water to put out the flames. 

His chest still heaving, Obito responded curtly, “It’s not like I expected it either.” He looked down at his artificial arm, frowning deeply. “I haven’t been able to use it since I got back. I was half convinced Sensei was wrong about what happened.” 

“When was Sensei ever wrong about anything?” Kakashi asked, his tone heavy. 

Obito just laughed dryly, then gracelessly dropped to his knees. Now that he’d gotten that out of his system, he felt drained and empty. Standing was far too much effort. He slumped forward, taking shaky breaths. 

“This is just great,” he growled sarcastically, “I have this legendary, super powerful jutsu that I have no control over and can apparently only use when I’m so mad I can’t think straight.” 

“Well, I guess it’s good you have a short fuse then,” Kakashi retorted. 

Obito glared at him. “This isn’t funny. It’s a miracle I didn’t kill you after–” he looked away. “After, well, you know when.” 

Kakashi hesitated, but ultimately crossed the ruined training grounds so he could sit down next to Obito. He sat up stiffly, as if he was uncomfortable with the idea of providing any kind of comfort or assurance. Actually, he probably was. 

“I don’t think it was a miracle,” Kakashi countered, “I think you must have known it was me, on some level, and avoided attacking me.” 

“You have too much faith in me,” Obito scoffed. 

Kakashi fidgeted uncomfortably. “...no. I think I still don’t have as much faith in you as you deserve.” 

He didn’t know how to respond to something so…nice. It wasn’t the first time, since Sensei and Kushina’s death, that Kakashi had said something surprisingly encouraging or almost kind, but he still didn’t know what to make of it. He was far more used to cranky, stuck-up Kakashi who could barely go an hour without insulting one of his teammates. 

“Well, erm, regardless,” Obito deflected, unsure how to handle Kakashi being supportive, “it doesn’t do me much good if I have no control over it.” 

“No,” Kakashi agreed. “But at least now you know you can do it. That means you can figure out how to do it again.” 

“I’m not you, Bakashi,” he sighed, “I can’t just do something once and then master it forever.” 

“Then do it more than once,” Kakashi responded, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Scoffing, Obito replied bitterly, “Yeah ok, I’ll get right on that.” 

After a brief moment of hesitation, Kakashi offered, “I’ll help you.” 

Obito turned toward him, incredulous. “ You’re going to help me with Moukuton? The Shodaime’s legendary jutsu? I know you’re a genius, but I’m pretty sure even you can’t figure out how to do this one.” 

Kakashi crossed his arms irritably. “Of course I can’t. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to help you figure it out. If you haven’t noticed, I’m very good at figuring out new jutsu.” 

“Oh really,” Obito replied sarcastically, “I had no idea. You’re so humble and never show off at all.” 

“Do you want me to take the offer back?” Kakashi snapped. 

Obito actually considered the question. Kakashi was really good at figuring out new jutsu. He probably could help Obito, at least with the theory of the technique. But on the other hand, Kakashi was an arrogant bastard who would probably be a shit teacher. Did Obito really want to give Kakashi any kind of authority over him? Was it worth it? He should probably swallow his pride and say yes, because it was the Shodaime’s jutsu they were talking about, and he’d be insane not to try to figure out how to utilize it. 

How badass would he be if he mastered both his Sharingan and Moukuton? Definitely way more badass than anything stupid Bakashi could manage. 

“...I’ll think about it,” Obito mumbled, not giving away his actual thoughts. If he was going to accept Kakashi’s help, he at least needed to make it seem like he wasn’t desperate. Maybe even make it seem like Obito would be the one doing Kakashi a favor if he accepted. 

Regardless of his decision, it wasn’t his main concern. For once in his life, he had a more pressing interest than learning a cool new jutsu. Even if it was a really cool new jutsu. Maybe he could take just a short detour…

No, he couldn’t get distracted. Every second he wasted was another second Naruto was stuck in an orphanage. He tried to explain as much to Kakashi. “I can’t worry about that right now. There’s something way more important I need to do first.” 

“You still want to try to care for Naruto?” 

“Of course I do,” Obito responded immediately. “I’ll figure something out, I have to. I refuse to give up.” 

Kakashi nodded in approval. “Good, because I have an idea.”

He turned to look at his friend, who was now refusing to make eye contact. “Ok…?”

“I don’t think you’ll like it,” Kakashi said cautiously. 

Obito scoffed, “Well it’s not like any of my ideas have been working, so let’s hear it.”

“Well,” Kakashi started, surprisingly hesitant, “the Hokage specifically said he couldn’t allow an Uchiha to raise Naruto, right?” 

“Yeah, so?” Obito frowned at his younger friend. 

Kakashi continued, “So, what if you weren’t technically an Uchiha?” 

“The fuck do you mean, ‘technically’?” Obito narrowed his eye. 

As much as Obito was confused, Kakashi was equally awkward and uncomfortable with the topic. Still, he kept explaining, “I’m head of my clan, by default. Clan heads have the ability to formally integrate a person into their clan. It usually only happens with marriage or adoption.” 

Horrified, Obito exclaimed, “I’m not going to marry you! Or let you adopt me!” He genuinely couldn’t decide which idea was more repulsive. 

The face Kakashi made looked like he was barely avoiding chucking a kunai at Obito’s head. “I said usually , not always. I can make you part of my clan without stating an official reason. It’s a lot of paperwork, but it would be legally binding.” Apologetically, he added, “You would forfeit any benefits you have as part of the Uchiha clan, though. Not your personal family savings, but anything clan specific.” 

“I don’t care,” Obito replied immediately. Even if his family savings were pretty pathetic, he’d figure it out. It would be worth it if he could find a loophole to allow him to care for Naruto. He wrinkled his nose in distaste and added, “But do I have to change my last name?”

Kakashi rolled his eye. “No, you don’t have to. But you, and Naruto if you are able to adopt him, would be part of the Hatake clan. Officially.” 

“...do I need to get a dog? Because I’m really more of a cat person.” 

This time, Kakashi did chuck a kunai at him. Obito ducked out of the way in time, swearing as the weapon sailed past his head. He cursed in response, but didn’t retaliate. 

“You don’t have to do anything other than sign a few papers,” Kakashi assured him. Hesitantly, he added, “There are a few things that you would be allowed to do, but I won’t force you.”

Genuinely curious, Obito asked, “Like what?” 

“Like putting your name on the summoning scroll for my ninken. My mother and…father,” he forced the word out through obvious pain, “signed before me, as did their parents, and so on. We pass the scrolls down through our family.” 

The offer was surprisingly touching. In fact, the entire thing was. Kakashi may not have many friends, but Obito knew he still wouldn’t offer this for just any of them. His family was something he didn’t talk about at all. This was something deeply personal that he was offering. 

Of course, expressing how much the offer meant to him was far too much emotional vulnerability, so Obito just joked, “I thought you said I wouldn’t need to get a dog.” Before Kakashi could chuck another kunai he laughed and held his hands up in surrender. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” More seriously, he replied, “Thank you.” 

Kakashi just shrugged awkwardly in response. “Anyway. It doesn’t necessarily solve all our problems,” he sighed. “The Sandaime will probably just come up with another excuse. That’s where the next part of my plan comes into play.” 

“Let’s hear it, genius.” 

“Another benefit of being head of my clan,” he explained, “is that I have a certain amount of authority when it comes to petitioning the Hokage or the Council. It doesn’t guarantee that the request will be approved, but it does make it official clan business, which is harder to just ignore.” 

Obito nodded in understanding, even though the intricacies of clan politics weren’t particularly well-known to him. It wasn’t like he’d ever really been involved in anything official within the Uchiha clan. In fact, they seemed more inclined to pretend he didn’t exist. 

Of course, Kakashi had an excellent nose for bullshit, and knew that Obito wasn’t quite following. He looked unimpressed, but kept explaining, “It goes back to the founding of the village. Most clans that joined wanted to retain some level of power and autonomy. That’s why there are such strict rules about the village interfering with clan business.” Apologetically, Kakashi added, “Technically, since you’re already part of a clan, you could have had your Clan Head petition your request for you. But I’m guessing that particular conversation wouldn’t go well.” 

Obito couldn’t help an indignant snort in response to Kakashi’s statement. “Yeah, I think I can picture how that conversation with Fugaku would go.” Most likely, he’d just get a door slammed in his face the moment he showed up at the police headquarters to meet with the man. 

“I figured as much,” Kakashi sighed. 

“I still don’t get how that keeps the Hokage from just denying the request again,” Obito commented. 

“It doesn’t,” Kakashi admitted. “ But ,” he cut off Obito’s obvious intent to protest, “it makes it a clan matter, instead of an individual matter. Which means I can get the other clan heads involved.” When Obito still didn’t follow his train of thought he elaborated, “Many of whom were classmates or friends of Sensei and Kushina. And probably would not appreciate how their son is being treated.” 

“Oh. Oh!” Obito grinned at his friend. “Bakashi, you really are a genius! It’s one thing to turn just me away, but multiple Clan Heads bringing up their concern to the Hokage is much harder to brush off!” 

“Exactly.” Kakashi nodded in approval. “The Sandaime could still refuse you, of course, since he ultimately has the authority to decide what to do with the village’s jinchuuriki–don’t give me that look, I’m just being practical.” 

Obito forced the scowl off his face, not appreciating reducing the idea of their Sensei’s son to nothing more than a village asset. But he understood Kakashi’s point. 

“There is a risk,” Kakashi added, “that the other Clan Heads don’t side with us. We’re relying on them to make the Hokage change his mind about how Naruto is being cared for. But if they don’t agree with us, it will only reinforce the Hokage’s decision to keep you away from Naruto. And then it may be near impossible to convince him in the future.” 

Grinning, Obito replied, “When have I ever shied away from a little risk?” 

“Never. Even when it would have been smarter for you to do so,” Kakashi quipped in response. 

He was so excited about their new plan he didn’t even bother responding to the teasing. This could be it! This could finally be the chance he needed to bring Naruto home, where he belonged. 

—--------------------------------

Standing outside the Hokage’s office, in his stuffiest, fanciest outfit, Obito felt like he was about to step out onto the frontlines all over again. He was waiting for his summons, for what could be his last chance to get Sensei and Kushina’s son out of an orphanage. Kakashi was already in there, pleading their case as head of their now two-person clan. 

It was official, since they’d signed the paperwork just last week. Obito was no longer part of the Uchiha clan, a fact which he assumed the elders were rejoicing about. They’d been threatening to kick him out since he returned from Madara’s clutches and refused to take his eye back from Kakashi. He felt strangely ambivalent about it, considering how long he’d been vying for the clan’s approval. Actually, it felt oddly freeing, not being under their thumb anymore. He’d expected to feel some kind of sense of loss, but it still hadn’t come. 

Obito adjusted his collar, hoping he wasn’t sweating through his formal attire. The pair of ANBU in front of the door didn’t speak to him, of course, but he could practically feel their disapproval at his nervous fidgeting. He offered them a shaky grin, but neither of them showed any kind of reaction. 

The soundproofing on the door was too efficient for Obito to hear anything, but he started to convince himself that he could just make out some mocking laughter. Or was it a disapproving tirade? Either way, he felt utterly convinced that it was not in his favor. 

After what felt like hours or maybe days of waiting, the door was finally opened for him. Obito gulped, forcing his nerves down, then stepped into the room. The door was closed firmly behind him with a quiet click, and then all eyes in the room locked onto him. Every Clan Head, the Hokage, and the Council, all staring at him with varying levels of interest, curiosity, and definite disapproval. There was no seat for him, just an open space in front of rows of seating where all of the most important personnel in the entire village were waiting. The Hokage and the Council were elevated above the rest, signaling their higher status. 

Normally, the Sandaime looked at least a little bit sympathetic and fond when dealing with Obito’s requests. Today, however, his expression was hard. He had his hands folded on the table in front of him, and his face gave nothing away about what he was thinking or which way he was leaning. Conversely, the Council members on either side of him were not hiding their distaste as Obito entered the room. 

The Clan Heads themselves were fairly split, ranging from bored neutrality, to amusement, to downright hostility. Unsurprisingly, Fugaku looked at Obito like he was a wad of dog shit underneath his shoe. The head of the Hyuuga clan looked almost equally as sour, but Obito wasn’t convinced that his face wasn’t just stuck like that. 

He caught Kakashi’s eye, trying to offer a reassuring smile, but he was pretty sure it looked more like a grimace. Still, the gesture was clear, and Kakashi offered a subtle thumbs up in response. The action only lasted a second, because of course Kakashi couldn’t let himself be seen showing any actual positive emotions in public. 

The doors closed behind them, echoing in the almost comical silence that took over the room as he entered. Swallowing hard against the lump forming in his throat, Obito offered a respectful bow in deference to the Hokage, Council, and Clan Heads. 

The Hokage nodded in acknowledgement. “I see that you have become no less stubborn with time,” he sighed, a bit chastising, but not unkind. 

“I think Minato-sensei preferred to use the word ‘determined’”, Obito responded, drawing a few chuckles from some of the Clan Heads. The Hokage himself smiled at the comment, and Obito internally cheered at the mostly positive reactions. He knew he had to do anything and everything to get them all on his side. 

“That does sound like something Minato would say,” the Sandaime agreed. His expression shifted, becoming more business-like. “Now, let’s not waste any time pretending like we don’t know why we’re all here. Young Kakashi here has been pleading your case all morning.” 

Kakashi shifted around uncomfortably when the attention was put on him, but he remained poised in his seat. He looked out of place amongst the Clan Heads, far younger and smaller than any of them. Some of the Clan Heads were still relatively young, but none were even close to Kakashi’s age. With how serious Kakashi acted all the time, and with his already notorious reputation in the shinobi world, it was easy to forget how young he really was. Right now, though, he looked like a child trying to imitate something they’d seen their parents do but didn’t fully understand. He hadn’t quite grown into the formal attire that must have been his father’s at some point, and his clothes were baggy over the shoulders and too long in the arms. He also sat at least a full head shorter than all the other Clan Heads in the room. It would have been comical, if Obito wasn’t so busy trying to keep himself from throwing up from nerves. 

“To make sure we are all on the same page,” the Hokage added, “you understand that you are asking for full custody of the son of the late Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki, yes?” 

“Yes,” Obito confirmed. 

The Sandaime nodded. “And you understand that this would require you to take on the entirety of his care, financially, emotionally, and physically?”

“Yes,” he replied again. 

“And do you truly feel that you are prepared for this burden? Raising a child is no easy feat.” 

“I know,” Obito agreed. “And I’m not going to lie and say that I’ll be perfect, but I am confident that I can give Naruto a good life. I can give him the life and love that he deserves.” 

The old man did smile at his comment. “That is good to hear. Now, what of your ambitions?” 

Obito stared at the Sandaime, trying to understand the question. “My…ambitions?” 

“Minato always said your goal was to become Hokage,” the old man clarified, “has that changed? Because I can tell you, as both a father and a Kage, that splitting your time is more challenging than you could ever know. You may need to choose between your ambitions and your responsibilities. I want to be sure you understand what you may have to give up.” 

“I…” If he was being honest, he really hadn’t thought about his childhood dream since he’d returned to the village. It felt so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. He’d always wanted to be Hokage because it would prove that he was worth something, and at least according to his childish logic, that he was the strongest shinobi in the village. That had felt so incredibly important to him for most of his life, so it almost shocked him how little he’d thought about that dream since Rin’s death. 

Maybe that was why. Rin was the first person he’d shared his dream with, so it felt inexplicably tied to her. It didn’t feel right to still want that dream, without Rin around to see him achieve it. But at the same time, he didn’t even know if he wanted to be the leader of a village that failed his precious people so spectacularly. Part of him wanted to say that he would become Hokage so he could do better, and honor those he’d lost, but he couldn't quite say those words. There was still a bitterness and an anger in him that had been festering since he saw Rin die. Did he still want to be Hokage? Did he even deserve to be Hokage anymore? 

Everyone was staring at him, watching him struggle internally with something that should be a simple question. “I don’t know,” he admitted. He heard a quiet, yet still audible surprised intake of air from Kakashi. “I don’t know if that’s still something I want, or even deserve.” He voiced his thoughts, deciding that honesty would probably serve him best here. “All I know is that right now, Naruto needs me. Whatever else I want to do, or want to be, can wait. I owe it to him, and to everyone I’ve lost, to take care of him first. Because if I don’t, if I abandon him now for the sake of my own selfish goals, then I know for sure that I really don’t deserve the title of Hokage.” 

To his surprise, the Sandaime looked quite pleased with his answer. “Well said, my boy. Who knows, perhaps the hat will still be waiting for you, someday,” he responded with a twinkle in his eye. 

Despite his declaration that he didn’t actually know what he wanted, he couldn’t help the rush of absolute giddiness at the comment. Because, existential crisis or not, being Hokage had still been his goal for pretty much as long as he could remember. And no one, other than Rin and Kushina, had ever really acknowledged that it could be a real possibility. Even Minato-sensei, who would never outright tell him it was impossible, always just sort of smiled fondly, as if humoring a child. So this? Having the Hokage even imply that his long-held dream could maybe become a reality? Yeah, it was a lot. 

The Hokage didn’t wait for a response, mercifully saving him from inadvertently saying something foolish or embarrassing. He continued, “Is there anything else you would like to say for yourself before I open the floor?” 

Shaking himself out of the brief daze of childish glee, Obito answered, “I’m sure Kakashi summarized everything well, Lord Third.” It was the response that they’d planned. Kakashi was definitely the more eloquent speaker of the two, so the plan was for him to do most of the talking. Unfortunately for Kakashi, Obito was the most impulsive of the two of them. “But I do just want to add a few things.” 

Kakashi’s visible eye narrowed, and he shot Obito his best “what the hell are you doing?” look. Obito winked at him. Or rather, he tried to wink, then remembered he only had one eye, so it probably just looked like he was blinking. 

“I just wanted to say,” Obito spoke with as much confidence as he could muster, “I know that what we’re asking for seems crazy, but it’s not. Kushina and Sensei–I mean Lord Fourth–would have wanted me and Kakashi to take care of Naruto. They were so excited to meet him, and all they wanted was for all of us to be a family.” He tried not to let his emotions get the best of him, keeping his breathing even and his head held high even as his chest started to tighten with grief. “Given all that they sacrificed for this village, and for everyone in this room, I think their wishes should be taken into consideration. And their wishes would be for Naruto to be with us. I know that this decision is bigger than just me and Kakashi, and that you have to consider the safety of the village too. But ,” he paused briefly for dramatic effect, “I’m– we’re asking you to see more than the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, and more than the Yondaime’s son. We’re asking you to see a boy who has already lost more in his first few months of life than some of us experience in years. That boy deserves to be loved, and to be with his family. And that’s us. His family, I mean.” 

No one spoke, or moved. They were all just staring at him after he finished his inspiring speech, but Obito couldn’t tell what any of them were thinking. He cleared his throat, then asked awkwardly, “Um, any questions?” 

That at least broke some of the tension. A few of the Clan Heads laughed quietly and seemed to be thoughtfully considering his words. Kakashi just looked like he wanted to throw something very sharp in Obito’s direction in retaliation for deviating from what they’d practiced. In his defense, Kakashi should know by now that Obito was prone to improvisation! 

“I have a question,” one of the elders (shit he couldn’t remember which wrinkled old bastard was which) asked with a deep scowl on his face, “are you completely out of your mind? You think we would allow you unrestricted access to the jinchuuriki just because you used to be the Yondaime’s student?” 

Kakashi shot him a look that was probably supposed to mean “stand down”, choosing to address the elder on their behalf. “Councilman, I assure you–” 

Obito cut him off without thinking. “I don’t give a shit that Naruto is the Kyuubi jinchuuriki,” he scoffed, ignoring the outraged muttering from his language choice. “I mean, obviously I give some shits because I want him and the village to be safe, but my point is that I give a shit about him either way, regardless of if he’s the jinchuuriki or not.” 

Kakashi audibly groaned, pinching his nose in frustration. Ok so Obito was going way off script now, but it wasn’t a big deal! He was just adapting to the situation. 

“Lord Third,” the Uchiha Clan Head interjected, looking as surly as ever, “I apologize on Obito’s behalf for his choice of language. His brashness has been an issue that we have never been quite able to curtail.” Fugaku was glaring at him so intensely that Obito wouldn’t be surprised if he spontaneously combusted. 

If he were any less stubborn, he may have averted his gaze. But of course, Obito refused to let himself be cowed into submission. “What are you trying to apologize for? I’m not part of your clan anymore. I’m sure Kakashi already explained everything.” 

It should be impossible, but somehow Fugaku looked even less impressed than before. “I’m aware of the paperwork you submitted.” 

“Then stop trying to act like you have any authority over me anymore,” Obito snapped. 

“Obito,” the Hokage reprimanded sharply. “Disrespect and insubordination will not be tolerated in this room. This is no place for petty personal grudges, we are here to discuss an important matter. Unless you want an unceremonious ending to this meeting you have requested, I suggest you tread carefully.” 

Swallowing his pride, Obito nodded and gritted out, “Sorry.” 

Throughout the whole exchange, Kakashi was fidgeting and restless. And pissed, very pissed. He obviously wanted to chew out Obito for his outburst, but he knew he couldn’t do it here. But the look on his face said there would be hell to pay later for making a fool of himself. 

“Let me remind you that the matter of Naruto’s care is under my jurisdiction,” the Sandaime stated, lacking his usual fond and patient tone. “I have opened up the floor because I trust and value the opinion of everyone in this room, but that is all they are: opinions. The decision of what will be done with Naruto after this meeting falls to me and me alone. So if you want to be taken seriously, show me you are able to act in a manner befitting a shinobi of your standing.” 

Obito flinched, averting his gaze respectfully. “Yes, Lord Third. I apologize for my outburst,” he responded formally. 

The Hokage nodded in approval, seemingly satisfied with the apology. “Good. Does anyone else wish to share their thoughts on this matter?” 

As it turned out, everyone had thoughts on the matter that they wanted to share. It was clear all of the Clan Heads wanted to give their own opinions, but there were protocols to be followed. The first to speak was a very wrinkly, bandaged old man sitting at the Hokage’s right hand. He’d sat up and held up a hand in a way that must have demanded respect and obedience from the Clan Heads, because none of them tried to speak before him. And he did not look even remotely sympathetic toward Obito’s situation. 

“Haven’t we humored this ridiculous child long enough?” the Councilman scoffed. “Surely you are not truly considering this absurd request?” 

“I am considering every possibility, Lord Danzo,” the Hokage replied, glancing sideways. “As one of my oldest friends and most trusted advisors, I would welcome your thoughts on the matter.” 

“You know my thoughts on the matter,” the Councilman replied tersely. “The jinchuuriki should be raised and trained in an environment that would foster stability and loyalty to the village. We have a unique opportunity to shape our jinchuuriki into the perfect, obedient weapon, free of any outside influences.” 

Obito didn’t know much about the Council, other than that Kushina thought they were a bunch of “useless old geezers”, but he automatically knew that he did not like Councilman Danzo. The way he was talking about fostering “loyalty” made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. 

Fortunately, despite his earlier declaration of trust for the Councilman, the Hokage did not seem interested in entertaining that particular discussion. “That is not a route I am willing to consider for Naruto. I may not be able to fulfill all of the wishes Minato and Kushina had for their son, but I know that would go against everything they wanted for him.” 

“I would like to believe,” the Councilman countered, “our late Yondaime would have wanted whatever was best for the village.” 

“Your opinion has been noted, Lord Danzo,” the Hokage replied sharply, indicating the discussion was over. “Now, would anyone else care to speak on this matter?” 

One by one, each of the Clan Heads threw in their two cents. Some of them, the ones that Obito knew had been closer with Kushina or Minato, were as supportive as they’d hoped. Others refused to see past his age or his (former) clan. Overall, the opinions were fairly split. Obito counted it as a win that the Ino-Shika-Cho trio agreed with him and Kakashi, and wasn’t at all surprised when the Hyuuga Clan Head called him an “impudent child” and claimed that allowing Obito to care for the Kyuubi jinchuuriki would be “idiotic”. 

Throughout the entire exchange, the Hokage remained unreadable. He asked follow up questions, and nodded along, but didn’t agree or disagree with anything that was said. On either side of him, the Council members were whispering and frowning with obvious disapproval. Every so often, one of them would mutter something to the Hokage, but Obito had no idea if their words were swaying him. 

And then, it got to the last person that Obito wanted to hear speak. The Sandaime must have saved him for last on purpose. 

“I’m most interested to hear your opinion, Fugaku,” the Hokage commented, “since Obito is–or was–part of your clan.” 

Obito felt like his heart dropped into his stomach. He was so screwed. Fugaku hated him, and would never side with him on anything. Any chance he may have had at convincing the Hokage was gone. He might as well pack up and leave now. 

Fugaku was staring at him, no Sharingan in sight, but his gaze somehow still just as intimidating. And of course, he was frowning. Was he ever not frowning? “In my experience,” the Clan Head started, “Obito has always been an impulsive, foolish, naive child with no respect for authority or tradition. He has no natural talent, nor did he have any notable accomplishments prior to Kannabi Bridge. I have always considered him to be immature, irresponsible, and an embarrassment to the clan.” 

Well, the man certainly didn’t pull his punches. He genuinely didn’t know whether he wanted to scream or cry. Logically, he knew Fugaku thought all of those things about him, but it was another matter entirely to hear the words spoken out loud. He should at least be able to defend himself! 

As if sensing the impending argument, Fugaku held up a hand to stop him from interjecting. “Recently,” he added, still frowning, “my oldest son made me aware of an…interesting conversation he had with Obito.” 

Of course Itachi snitched on him! It wasn’t like Obito specifically told him not to say anything about their brief meeting, but it was definitely implied! Maybe, if he wished for it really hard, the floor would collapse beneath him and he’d be spared from the remainder of this awful conversation. 

“As it turns out,” Fugaku explained, “Obito was seeking advice on child care. From a six-year-old, no less.” He paused as a few of the clan heads snickered at the comment, his own lip twitching minutely. “I’ve also heard from many of our clan’s elderly residents that he’s made himself indispensable as a babysitter. There’s also a rumor that he’s even been frequenting the library, of all things.” More snickers at Obito’s expense. 

The Sandaime looked thoughtful. “Then would you recommend I approve Obito’s request, or do you still consider him immature, irresponsible, and an embarrassment to your clan?”

“Well,” Fugaku replied gruffly, “I suppose he’s no longer part of my clan, so the last point does not apply. As for the rest…” His eyes narrowed. “I cannot give a recommendation either way, Lord Third. I do not think it is my place.” He finally shifted his gaze back toward their leader. “All I will say is that the immature and irresponsible boy I knew before would never have bothered putting so much time and effort into this task. Not when there was no one to show off to or one-up. Even I cannot deny his commitment and dedication to this insane idea of his. Take that as you will.” 

That was…almost a complement? Maybe? Holy shit, did the Uchiha Clan Head just say something almost nice about him?! 

The Hokage continued to deliberate, shaking his head whenever one of his Council tried to interrupt his thoughts. He looked between Obito and Kakashi, and occasionally back to Fugaku. Based on the occasional twitch of his fingers, it seemed like he was dying to light up his pipe. 

Finally, the Hokage leaned back in his chair, folding his hands in front of him. He looked down at Obito, and his expression softened. “I have heard some very interesting testimony today. This is certainly going to be a memorable day for my very long career,” he chuckled. “Perhaps now that I am granting your request, you will allow an old man some peace.” 

“Of course I–” Obito paused mid sentence as he processed the words he’d just heard. “Did you just say you’re granting my request?” 

“I am,” the Hokage confirmed. 

Immediately, whispering broke out amongst the Clan Heads. Some smiled triumphantly, while others looked concerned, or downright hostile. And speaking of hostility, the Council looked absolutely livid. Councilman Danzo especially, who looked like he wished he could incinerate everyone in the room in an instant. 

“Are you mad, Hiruzen?” the Councilman scoffed. “You cannot allow this boy to take possession of our greatest weapon!” he spat, turning his hostile gaze downward. “Have you forgotten that it was an Uchiha that loosed the Kyuubi on the village in the first place? Are you truly going to put it back in the hands of one of them ?” 

Fugaku barely stayed in his seat at the accusation, glaring daggers at the Councilman. “That is no more than a vicious rumor! You have interrogated, belittled, and threatened enough of my clan to know there is no proof of any such claim!” 

“There is proof enough,” the Councilman sneered. “I cannot allow this madness to continue! Is this your ploy to get your hands on the jinchuuriki, Fugaku?” 

“How dare you?!” This time, the Clan Head did rise to his feet. “I have submitted to every investigation you have subjected us to, and you’ve still come up with nothing more than hearsay! This is just a witch hunt to confirm your own biases!” 

Councilman Danzo looked absolutely furious at the response. “I am looking out for the good of the village–”

“It’s a moot point.” 

Both men went silent as a soft voice interrupted their heated back and forth. The Hokage was halfway out of his own seat, looking as if he had been about to interrupt himself. He sat back, looking curious. “Why do you say that, Kakashi?” 

Later, Obito would realize the absolute insanity of what Kakashi had done, interrupting an argument between two very high ranking officials like that. Kakashi, who followed the rules to a T, had spoken out of turn in front of all the Clan Heads, the Council, and the Hokage himself. In the middle of the night, Obito would wake with this realization, wondering if Kakashi had been keeping track of exactly how many rules he’d broken in the process. And then he’d burst into a fit of hysterical laughter so loud, his closest neighbor would scream out of their window for him to shut up.  

But right now, in the moment, Obito was too busy gawking at Kakashi’s boldness to actually think about the implications of his actions. 

Kakashi maintained his cool demeanor, but Obito could tell he did not like having the room’s attention on him. Still, he refused to show if he was rattled. “It’s a moot point because Obito is no longer part of the Uchiha clan. As I discussed earlier, the official paperwork was submitted and approved last week. He’s been officially integrated into the Hatake clan.” 

“Be that as it may,” Danzo scoffed, “the boy still possesses a Sharingan, as do you. That is dangerous enough to have around our jinchuuriki regardless of what a piece of paper says about clan membership.” 

Kakashi didn’t show any obvious reaction to the elder’s obvious aggression in his tone and posture. He just shrugged. “Sure, but I can barely use it without passing out, and Obito–” he jabbed a thumb in his friend’s direction. “He was at the bottom of our class for a reason, you know. Do you think someone who can’t get through the Chunin Exams without choking on a piece of candy could really control the Kyuubi no Kitsune?” His own eye narrowed. “I have more faith in Sensei–in Lord Fourth’s seal than that.” 

At first, Obito was going to scream at Kakashi for basically calling him a loser in front of all the Clan Heads and the Hokage. Then, he caught his friend’s eye, and bit his tongue once he realized what Kakashi was doing. The Clan Heads were muttering and nodding in agreement, most of them now leaning toward taking their side. Fugaku still just looked pissed off about everything, but at least he wasn’t yelling anymore. 

It took every ounce of self control that he had not to tell Kakashi exactly where to shove a kunai. Even though he understood why he was portraying both of them like this, to make them seem like less of a threat to village security, he still hated it. He hated being looked at as weak. 

“You need not sell yourselves short,” the Hokage chastised, but the corners of his lips were upturned into a slight smile. “As I said, this matter is only subject to my approval. I have heard every argument, and I have chosen to approve this request. Any further concerns may be submitted formally for review.” He turned toward the still fuming Councilman, looking at him sharply enough that it was clear he would not allow any more outbursts. 

Obito let out an audible sigh of relief. “Thank you, Lord Third. I promise Naruto will be well taken care of.” 

“I don’t doubt that he will,” the Hokage agreed kindly. Then, his expression turned more serious. “I do have conditions. Lord Danzo is right that our jinchuuriki is one of our greatest assets, so we must tread carefully. I also will not risk the safety of Minato and Kushina’s son to satisfy a misplaced guilt complex. There will be strict rules to follow, and I reserve the right to rescind on this agreement at any time, for any reason. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Crystal.” Obito nodded vigorously. 

The Hokage’s gaze turned toward Kakashi, who mirrored the gesture. “Of course, Lord Third.” 

The Sandaime seemed to be appeased by their sincerity. “Good. Now, let us discuss the rules of this arrangement,” he declared. “You are not to take Naruto out of the village without permission. You will have a round the clock ANBU guard for both your own and Naruto’s safety. Any temporary caretakers must be thoroughly vetted and approved, and will be subject to the same restrictions as yourself. You must immediately report any potential concerns about Naruto’s seal or his status as a jinchuuriki. We will, of course, inspect the seal regularly, but you as his guardian may be the first to notice any changes or irregularities.” 

None of it was particularly unexpected, so Obito nodded again to show he understood. He knew that taking on Naruto’s care was not like taking on any other orphan’s care, and that there would be rules to follow. He just hoped he could remember them all. Maybe he could get Kakashi to write them down. 

“And speaking of Naruto’s jinchuuriki status,” the Hokage continued, “the gag order will remain in place. While this information may not have remained a secret as I would have hoped, there is still no reason to let further rumors spread. I do not want Naruto’s peers to have a reason to treat him differently,” he reasoned. 

One of the elders interjected, “Do we plan to keep the jinchuuriki ignorant of his status forever?” She was frowning, looking deeply displeased by the idea. “Jinchuuriki are an important resource for their village, and very powerful weapons.” 

If he hadn’t already been yelled at for talking back to one of the elders, he would have thrown a fit over the dehumanizing language. Did they not care that Naruto was their previous leader’s son? Or that he was a baby ? Jinchuuriki or not, that had to mean something! 

“I am not so naive to think that Naruto can remain in ignorance forever,” the Sandaime responded. “Once he graduates from the academy, we will sit him down and explain his jinchuuriki status to him. He can begin jinchuuriki-specific training after that point, and not a moment sooner.” 

As much as he didn’t want to have to keep secrets from Sensei and Kushina’s son, Obito couldn’t deny he was glad he wouldn’t have to be the one to explain everything about the fox. He hoped that Naruto wouldn’t be mad about not being told. If he was more like Minato, he would probably understand the logic and reason behind the decision and forgive Obito for not telling him. If he took after Kushina…well, hopefully he didn’t take after her too much, or else the village may not be standing after learning everyone around him had been lying. 

Thinking about Sensei and Kushina did make Obito realize there was one major flaw in the Sandaime’s plan. “Lord Third,” he said carefully, trying to sound as respectful as he could manage, “if we aren’t going to tell Naruto about the fox, what am I supposed to tell him about how his parents died?” 

“Simply that they perished in the attack, along with countless others,” the Hokage stated. 

Obito was just starting to nod in agreement, when he caught sight of Kakashi tensing up in his seat. He was obviously frowning behind his mask as he murmured, “You want us to continue to keep Naruto’s parentage a secret.” It was a statement, not a question. 

“Yes,” the Sandaime confirmed. “It will be safer that way.”

“But,” Obito immediately disagreed, “I thought we established that it was already really obvious?” 

“Obvious to some, perhaps, but that does not mean we want to give the information any more chances to spread,” the Hokage reasoned. “If he wasn’t already recognized by the Uzumaki name, I would just pass him off as a distant clan member of yours, Kakashi.” The old man sighed. “I fear that if we try to make it look like the only Uzumaki in the village suddenly disappeared, it would ultimately draw more attention than if we just quietly change who is caring for him.”

That was definitely not an answer that Obito was satisfied with. “So, what are we supposed to say, then? What about when he starts asking questions about why Kakashi and I are taking care of him, or who exactly his parents are?” 

The Hokage replied, “Is it so surprising that an orphan would find it in their heart to care for another orphan?”  

Frowning, Obito responded, “So we’re just supposed to lie to him about who his parents were? Pretend that they’re just nameless nobodies?” He crossed his arms defiantly. “Should we just throw away every picture of Minato-sensei and Kushina in the village? Remove their names from the history books and the Memorial Stone so he doesn’t start connecting the dots? Or–” 

“ Enough !” the Hokage ordered. “This is your last warning, Obito. One more outburst and Naruto will be removed from your care before the paperwork is even signed.” 

Realizing the fine line he was walking, Obito swallowed his pride and backed off. He bowed respectfully to the Hokage, then parroted his earlier words. “I apologize for my outburst. It won’t happen again.” 

“See that it doesn’t,” the Sandaime responded with finality. With just a touch of softness he added, “We can revisit this discussion in a few years, when Naruto is old enough to start realizing he may not know the full truth, and when he is old enough to be able to keep a secret. When he starts his jinchuuriki training, he can learn the truth about his parentage. Does that appease you?” 

No . “Yes, Lord Third. Thank you.” 

With that final word, the Hokage adjourned the meeting. Obito was left in a daze, the excitement of victory tainted by the realization that he’d have to lie to Minato and Kushina’s son for at least the next decade. 

Yeah, screw that. He’d keep the secret about the Kyuubi, but there was no way in hell he would let Naruto go that long without knowing how much his parents loved him. He’d figure out a way around the Sandaime’s orders eventually. 

The Clan Heads filed out, a few of them stopping to congratulate him, and even thank him for getting Minato and Kushina’s son out of the orphanage. Obito just smiled and thanked them for their support, even though he still hadn’t quite processed everything. If he thought too much about it, he would either start cheering and yelling, which could get him in trouble, or he’d get pissed off again about being forced to keep Naruto’s parentage a secret. For now, he was doing everything he could to keep a level head. 

He spotted Kakashi across the room, and couldn’t help but grin triumphantly. Kakashi just rolled his eye, but he looked obviously relieved, and maybe even a little happy. Obito was about to cross the room to meet up with his friend, but he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. 

Fugaku brushed past him, completely ignoring Obito’s existence. If Obito was smart, he’d do the same, and leave the Uchiha Clan Head alone. Unfortunately, Obito was not known for always making smart decisions. 

He couldn’t help but ask, “Why did you help me?” 

Fugaku stopped walking and turned his head, staring at Obito impassively. “I didn’t. I just spoke the truth, and the Hokage made a decision. Now if you’ll excuse me–” 

“You hate me,” Obito insisted. “You could have told the Hokage that you didn’t think it was a good idea for me to raise Naruto, and he would have probably listened. But you didn’t. I want to know what your angle is,” he demanded. 

It looked like Fugaku was considering whether or not to admonish Obito for making any kind of demand of him. Then, he just sighed, “First of all, I don’t hate you. I just find you childish and untalented.” 

“Yeah, like that’s any better…” Obito grumbled in response. 

Fugaku ignored him. “My personal feelings toward you are irrelevant. I just presented the facts that I knew. And…” He hesitated, then added in a much softer, more gentle voice, “My wife would never forgive me if I had the opportunity to give Kushina’s son a chance at a better life and didn’t at least try.” 

To that genuine admission, Obito had no witty response. “Oh,” was all he could say. 

“Indeed,” Fugaku replied irritably. He glanced around, as if embarrassed about being caught speaking with Obito, then added, “You know, babies grow very quickly at this age.” 

“So?” Obito shrugged. 

“My youngest son has already outgrown more clothes than I can keep track of. Since they’re not being used, they are available if you would like them,” the Clan Head said, looking uncomfortable about offering at all. 

Obito almost attacked the man on the spot as an imposter. That offer was way too nice for someone like Fugaku! Still, he wasn’t about to turn down anything free. “Yeah, that would actually be really helpful. Um, thanks.” 

Fugaku nodded. “I know Mikoto also purchased some items for Naruto, but was never able to give them to him. I’m sure she will be pleased at the opportunity to pass them along.” 

“Well, tell her thank you too.” This was probably the longest the Uchiha Clan Head had ever gone without yelling at him or insulting him. 

“I will send Itachi over with a few boxes when I get the chance,” he promised. Then, his expression hardened again as he added, “You’d do best to remember that you still represent the Uchiha, even if you have it in your head that you’re no longer one of us. Tread carefully with the jinchuuriki, or you’ll doom us all.” 

Without another word, the man stalked off, looking completely unaffected by the threat/warning that he’d just dropped. Obito stared after him, struggling to decide what to think about the entire interaction. 

He turned and left the room in a daze, completely forgetting to wait for Kakashi. Of course it didn’t take long for Kakashi to catch up, but he was pissy and irritable when he did. And he was definitely mad about Obito going off script. 

“What the hell were you thinking?” he hissed, speaking as quietly as possible since they were still inside the Tower. 

Obito just shrugged, too busy processing to actually form a response. Kakashi glared at him, muttering insults under his breath until they finally left the building. Then, the moment they were outside, Obito started grinning and laughing triumphantly. At first, Kakashi stared at him with wide-eyed shock, glancing around for some kind of exit point. 

Then, the reality of what they’d managed to accomplish seemed to hit him too. He didn’t show his feelings as openly, but Obito could see the moment all the tension left Kakashi’s face. 

Without thinking, Obito went to pull Kakashi into a celebratory hug. He didn’t even realize what he was doing, he was just a physical person, so it was his first instinct to hug someone when he was excited! The moment before he wrapped his arms around Kakashi, he realized his mistake, and braced himself for some kind of physical retaliation. 

Kakashi leaned back, looking a little stunned and unsure. But shockingly, he realized what Obito was doing at about the same time as Obito himself, and he let it happen. It was incredibly stiff and awkward, but he lasted a whole five seconds before he shoved Obito back, an embarrassed flush on his face. 

“If you do that again, I’ll punch you in the gut,” Kakashi threatened. 

Obito didn’t even care, he was too busy celebrating. They’d done it! They were going to get to care for Naruto! He knew he was probably causing a scene, laughing and grinning like a fool in front of Hokage Tower, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care because Minato and Kushina’s son was finally coming home. Everything was finally working out for them, and things could only get better from here.

Chapter Text

They had one week. One week before Naruto would officially be transferred into his care. A week before he became…a dad? Ugh, no, definitely not. He would never try to replace Minato-sensei, and he definitely wasn’t dad material. 

A brother, then. Just like Kushina wanted him to be. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought. 

Kakashi, who was helping him sort through all the items in Naruto’s nursery, asked, “What are you smiling about?” 

“I just still can’t believe it’s really happening,” Obito replied, still smiling widely. “We really did it.” 

Kakashi seemed to soften minutely at the reminder, but he refused to show his own happiness so openly. “Now, don’t get complacent. There’s still plenty left to do.” 

Leave it to the world’s biggest buzzkill to ruin the good mood. “I know,” Obito agreed reluctantly, “but we can still be excited!” Yes, he knew how much work they needed to do before baby Naruto came home. 

There was an endless checklist to get through. They had some supplies stockpiled from Minato and Kushina, but not everything they needed. As Fugaku had pointed out the other day, babies grow very quickly. That meant most or all of the clothes that his parents purchased wouldn’t fit Naruto at this point. Neither would the diapers (learning that there were multiple sizes of diapers had been far more surprising than it should have been). Based on the books he’d been reading, Naruto would also be crawling soon, which meant that they had to baby-proof for a mobile baby. Then there was formula and baby food that they needed to buy, toys to spoil him with, and an insane amount of paperwork to finish. It was enough to keep them busy until Naruto came home, and then some. 

Kakashi sighed, “Your optimism is truly exhausting.” 

Obito stuck his tongue out at Kakashi in response. “Well, someone needs to balance out your constant cynicism.” 

“I’m pragmatic,” he countered. 

Obito failed to suppress a snort of laughter. “Uh huh, sure.” 

Kakashi shoved his shoulder, but it was playful, not malicious. It was only when Kakashi turned his attention away from their conversation and back to the pile of stuff in front of them that Obito realized what they’d been doing. They’d been bickering. Playfully. Not arguing, not fighting, bickering. Dare he even say, bantering. Just like friends did. That kept happening more and more often, but each time it was no less shocking. For the longest time, he couldn’t even talk to Kakashi without the two of them being at the other’s throat. It was…nice. When he wasn’t being a total dick, Kakashi was actually sort of enjoyable to be around. 

Of course, he would never tell Kakashi that, because he’d be teased relentlessly. 

“I think I made a pretty comprehensive list of what we have and what we still need,” Kakashi told him, holding out a piece of paper for Obito to look over. 

Obito scanned the contents and grimaced. “Yikes. I didn’t think the list would be that long!” He tried to remember how much was in his savings account. Naruto had a (pitiful) orphan stipend, and sometimes Obito still got paid for shitty D-ranks, but he wasn’t even making his chunin salary right now. He needed to be frugal, and the number of items on this list made that difficult. 

As if sensing his thoughts, Kakashi took the paper back and commented, “We’ll split up. I’ll get half, you get half. It’s only fair, since both of us are going to be taking care of him.” 

Obito couldn’t help but sigh in relief at the offer. He hated the idea of Kakashi having to cover him, so he felt much better thinking about it as a fair trade. “Yeah, sounds fair,” he agreed. 

Kakashi nodded, then briefly uncovered his Sharingan so he could memorize the contents of the list. Then, he handed it back to Obito. “You get everything from here down.” He pointed about halfway down the page. 

“Got it.” Obito nodded in agreement, and they made their way out of Minato and Kushina’s home. He grinned and challenged, “I bet I can get done faster than you.” 

Kakashi pretended to be annoyed and uninterested in the challenge, but there was an obvious competitive spark in his eye. “It’s not a competition,” he responded, unconvincingly. 

“It’s not a competition,” Obito agreed, still wearing a shit-eating grin, “because I’m gonna wipe the floor with you.”

“You’re so immature,” Kakashi chided, but he had a calculating expression on his face. “I’m not indulging this childish behavior.” 

Obito just shrugged in response. “Sure, whatever you say. Guess you won’t mind if I get done first, then.” 

“Nope, not at all,” Kakashi lied. 

They split up, heading in two different directions in the market district so they could complete their respective tasks. Obito snickered to himself as Kakashi’s meandering pace disappeared the moment he was just about out of sight, when he shunshin’d away. Kakashi was a competitive little shit, just like him. There was no way he’d ever turn down a challenge, even if he thought it was silly or unnecessary. 

The rest of the morning was spent bouncing from shop to shop, feeling accomplished whenever he crossed something off his list. He also felt anxious about how much of his savings he was spending, but it was all for Naruto so he didn’t want to cut any corners. The kid deserved the best, and Obito would do everything in his power to give it to him. 

It was a mostly uneventful morning, with the typical amount of stares he got whenever he went out in public. Despite being a shinobi village, his scars and missing eye still made him kind of a spectacle to civilians. He was pretty good at ignoring them by now, though it still stung when people pulled their kids as far away from him as possible. Hopefully having Naruto with him would make him more approachable, because he didn’t want to accidentally scare away any potential playmates. 

There was only one shop that gave him trouble. It was one he’d never been to before, and would definitely never go back to again. The man behind the desk took one look at him and started screaming about how all the Uchiha were traitors and clearly responsible for the Kyuubi attack. Obito was honestly impressed with his own self control, because he managed to keep himself from setting the asshole on fire. He did scream back at him, equally as loud, but he otherwise kept himself on his best behavior. He knew that any trouble he caused could impact his ability to care for Naruto, and he wouldn’t dare risk it. 

Prejudiced shopkeeper aside, it was a pretty successful morning. He got everything on his list, and from what he could tell, he’d finished his tasks before Kakashi. If Kakashi was done, he would have already found Obito to brag about it. Since he was nowhere to be found, there wasn’t really a point in looking for him yet. Obito knew he’d make himself known whenever he was ready, so it was easier to just wait. Maybe he could stop for a snack while he waited. 

Even if he didn’t need to eat, he’d made it a habit again because of Kushina. She’d refused to accept that food was now optional for him, and basically forced him back onto a regular meal schedule. He liked food, so it wasn’t exactly a chore, but sometimes it just felt like there was no point. On those days, when everything just felt too heavy, he had to imagine Kushina’s voice yelling at him to actually make himself eat a decent meal. Sometimes he forgot, but since was eating regular meals his body did seem to give him some kind of indication of when it was nearing time to eat. Not quite hunger, but something. 

It wasn’t quite the same for sleep. He didn’t seem to need to sleep to stay alive, but he definitely got crankier and less focused if he didn’t sleep. He’d tested how long he could go, and it was definitely longer than a normal person could function, but he’d been a grouchy mess the whole time. It would probably be an advantage once he had a crying baby to deal with in the middle of the night, though.

There weren’t a ton of options for restaurants now, since the village was still in the middle of rebuilding. Essential structures like administration buildings, medical buildings, and group housing had been prioritized, so they were just now starting to get around to private homes and businesses. The village was a mostly unrecognizable mess of construction and rubble, but its residents were stubbornly trying to go about their day-to-day lives as if nothing was out of the ordinary. 

With there only being a few viable options for actual places to sit down and eat, it made the odds of seeing someone you know much higher. So it wasn’t exactly a surprise when someone called out, “Hey, is that Obito?”  

Obito turned at the sound of his name, locating the source immediately. A handful of his classmates were crammed around one of the few tables at a nearby cafe. He hadn’t really kept in touch with anyone besides Kakashi since he left the hospital, but he wasn’t unhappy to see them. Everyone at the table had come to see him at least once in the hospital, unlike some of their other classmates who just pretended that Obito never came back from the war at all. He probably should have sought them out before now, but he’d been a bit preoccupied. 

Kurenai must have been the one to speak, he realized as he approached. She smiled in greeting, and beside her Asuma nodded in acknowledgement. Were the two of them still pretending they weren’t into each other? He honestly didn’t know, because he hadn’t kept up with his classmates or any gossip since he’d returned. 

Genma and Raidou waved lazily, both of them looking a little tired and dirty. Probably just back from patrol or a mission. Honestly, all of them looked pretty worn, which could probably be said for every shinobi in the village right now. Except for–

“Well, if it isn’t the closest acquaintance of my beloved rival!” Gai offered a blinding smile and a thumbs up. “How wonderful to see you out and about, and looking so very youthful today!” 

Obito had no idea what about him looked “youthful”, but he knew it wasn’t worth asking. It was just how Gai was. And it was weird, he was weird, but Obito didn’t really mind. Gai was one of the few people that had never looked down on him, and seemed to genuinely like him. There was also the fact that he was Kakashi’s only other friend(?) besides Obito. He really didn’t understand their relationship, but he knew Kakashi well enough now to know that all his bluster and irritation toward Gai was half-hearted at best, even if Kakashi couldn’t quite admit that he did actually like their strange classmate. 

“Hey guys,” Obito greeted, nodding toward all of them in turn. “It’s been a while.” 

“Yeah,” Kurenai agreed, “we haven’t really seen you around since–” she grimaced and cut herself off. Smiling apologetically she asked, “How have you been holding up?” 

Obito shrugged, hoping to avoid that particular topic as much as possible. “Just taking it one day at a time, I guess.” 

All of them could understand the sentiment. Even if the loss of the Yondaime and his wife had been the most personal for Obito and Kakashi, everyone had lost something or someone that day. Plus, all the shinobi in the village were being run ragged trying to pick up the slack. It was honestly surprising that so many of their classmates were all in the village at the same time, considering how in demand their services were. 

“I think we can all agree with that,” Genma responded, sounding especially drained. “So, what have you been up to?” 

As much as he wanted to talk about Naruto and how he was going to be taking care of him, he knew he couldn’t yet. The transition was being kept quiet, and would not be officially announced. Once he had Naruto he could take him out to meet his classmates, but for now he had to wait to share the news. 

“Just doing some shopping,” Obito replied, giving as much of the truth as he was able. He held up the bags in his arms for emphasis. “It’s weirdly exhausting, and I swear everything is so much more expensive than it used to be.” 

Asuma looked sympathetic. “I get that. I’ve overheard dad talking about inflation and supply issues since the Kyuubi attack. Even with all the extra missions we’re all taking, it feels like it’s hard to keep up with all the price increases.” 

“It’s been awful!” Obito agreed. “And I still can’t do more than crummy D-ranks to build up my savings. Ugh. At least I have Kakashi splitting costs with me.” 

There was a moment of surprised silence after Obito mentioned the name of their other classmate. Everyone except Gai was exchanging nervous and uncomfortable glances with each other. Conversely, Gai looked thrilled with the information. 

“Such wonderful news!” Gai cheered. “Congratulations to you and my eternal rival on the progression of your relationship! May the flames of youth keep your love ablaze for many years to come!” He wiped away a few tears of joy. “In celebration of this marvelous union, I will do 50, no 75, no 100 laps around the village this evening!” 

Obito felt his face heat up. “No, no! It’s not like that!” He waved his hands frantically. “ We are definitely not like that!” 

Gai looked a little disappointed at the realization, but his cheerful demeanor remained. “Oh, my apologies for the misunderstanding. I shall take my laps in penance for my mistake instead!” 

“Uh, you really don’t have to do that, it’s no big deal,” Obito assured him, even though his face was still burning at the idea of him and Bakashi in a relationship. Yeah, like that would ever happen. 

Besides the fact that it was Bakashi , he was pretty sure Kakashi wasn’t actually interested in anyone romantically. Honestly, he was barely interested in anyone platonically. And sure, he definitely considered Kakashi his friend, and a pretty decent friend at least some of the time, but romantically ? Ew. There was nothing appealing about stupid gross Bakashi and his stupid gross face. He probably had like, fish lips or a forked tongue under his mask anyway. Yeah, he was probably hideous. 

“Well,” Gai said happily, not at all discouraged, “I am still pleased that it at least seems like my eternal rival has not been spending all his time alone. I have tried to initiate challenges with him, but he keeps turning me down. I was becoming concerned about his well-being.” 

“I’ll yell at him for ignoring you,” Obito offered, grinning at the thought of being able to sic Gai on Kakashi. 

“Marvelous!” Gai cheered, grinning so widely the sun glinted off his teeth. “And though the title of eternal rival is already taken, the invitation for a youthful rendezvous is always extended to you as well, my friend! Should you ever find yourself in need of a sparring partner, I would be happy to oblige!” 

This was why, despite the horrible sense of fashion and the excess energy, Obito actually liked Gai. Because he didn’t offer out of pity, nor did he make any kind of implications about what Obito could or couldn’t do. He was also one of the only people that managed to still look him in the eye and not at his scars or empty eye socket. Plus, he annoyed Kakashi, so that was a huge bonus. 

“I’ll take you up on that, sometime. It’s been difficult getting back into shape,” he admitted. 

Gai was still going on and on about the “power of youth” and how excited he was to have a new sparring partner, but the rest of the table didn't look quite so enthused. They seemed to be having a silent conversation amongst themselves. Eventually, Asuma nudged Kurenai with his elbow, and Genma and Raidou motioned toward Obito as if saying, “you ask him”. He didn’t know what they wanted to ask, but their intentions were obvious. 

Kurenai finally waved them off, muttering something under her breath. Then she turned back to Obito, smiling apologetically. “Sorry about that. We were all just a little…surprised to hear that you were still hanging around Kakashi.” 

Obito shrugged. “It’s not like I can take real missions right now so I don’t exactly have anything better to do.” 

The four at the table exchanged looks again. This time, Kurenai nudged Asuma to be the one to speak for them. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Right. What we meant was, er…” he looked back at the other three for guidance. “Just considering everything that happened,” he said awkwardly, “we all thought you wouldn’t be so…close.” 

“I don’t know if I’d say we’re close,” Obito admitted. Was anyone close to Kakashi? It was near impossible to get him to open up. But considering that he had a full on breakdown in front of Obito, that probably meant he was as close as anyone could be with the younger teen. “I mean, I guess we are. Bakashi can still be an asshole sometimes, but he has moments where he’s not completely awful.” 

The group started whispering again, and he heard Raidou hiss, “Just ask him!” 

“Uh, was there something specific you wanted to know?” Obito asked curiously. 

The four of them looked a bit sheepish (Gai was still as bright and cheerful as ever), but eventually Genma was the one that nodded and commented, “There’s just been a lot of rumors about everything that went down with Rin.” 

Obito felt himself physically flinch at the mention of her name. His guard immediately went up. He really didn’t want to talk about Rin, and he definitely didn’t want to talk about any dumb rumors some bored chunin came up with. 

“And?” Obito bit out. 

Genma at least had the decency to look guilty about the question. “We just wanted to know if it was true. Because none of us expected that you would be able to look at Kakashi anymore, let alone be friends with him if it was.” 

“I haven’t exactly been able to keep up on the latest gossip, so I don’t know what ‘it’ is,” Obito snapped in response. “Just ask whatever you want to ask!” 

Genma visibly grimaced, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. “It’s just, everyone is saying that Kakashi killed Rin because she got in the way of finishing their mission.” 

Obito stared at his classmate, the words only processing at half speed. “What?” 

“I’m just repeating what I’ve been told. What we’ve all been told,” Genma replied quickly. “I mean, you know what everyone’s been calling him, right?” 

“No, I don’t,” Obito replied, his eye narrowing. 

Genma didn’t make eye contact as he murmured, “‘Friend-killer Kakashi’”. 

Obito slammed one hand down on the table, glaring daggers at all four of them. “What the fuck did you just say?” 

Kurenai held up her hands placatingly. “Easy, Obito. We’re not the ones spreading rumors, we’re just repeating what we’ve heard.” 

“Well, stop it!” he snapped. “You have no idea what you’re talking about!” 

“Yeah, and that’s the problem,” Asuma interjected. “No one knows what happened between Kakashi and Rin. Besides you, I guess,” he added, “so all we have to work with is that Rin and Kakashi went out on a mission, but you and Kakashi came back. And Rin took a chidori to the chest. It was all very hush hush, Lord Fourth really kept everything under wraps. So naturally, everyone is curious about what really happened.” 

“It’s none of your business!” Obito knew he was yelling, but he didn’t particularly care. None of them knew what he did, none of them had been there to see how Rin’s death broke Kakashi. 

And he couldn’t even correct them, because the truth was an S-class secret. He wanted to say “fuck it” and tell them anyway, but Minato-sensei had specifically asked him not to say anything. He’d been worried about how it would affect the tentative peace between them and Kiri, if the truth ever got out to the rest of the village about what they’d tried to do. Considering it was one of Minato’s last requests for him, it was difficult to go against it, even if he did want to set the record straight for both Rin and Kakashi. Hardly anyone knew what Rin had sacrificed, and hardly anyone knew what Kakashi had gone through. It wasn’t fair to either of them. 

“You can’t possibly believe that Kakashi would have just killed Rin for the sake of a mission,” he snapped, daring any of them to contradict him. 

Gai, of course, looked genuinely offended by the implication. “Of course not! I know that my rival would never do something so callous!”

The four at the table, however, were glancing around with obvious uncertainty. Asuma responded, “None of us want to believe that he would but, well, if anyone would…” 

Both Genma and Raidou had to physically hold him back as he tried to launch himself across the table to punch Asuma in the face. His bags were jostled and the contents were strewn everywhere. Obito struggled against them, but they held tight. “You don’t know anything! Say that shit again, I dare you!” 

Everyone was yelling at him to calm down, which was an excellent way to make him not want to calm down. Genma cursed as Obito narrowly missed kneeing him in the groin. “Take it easy, man! We’re not accusing Kakashi of anything, we’re just asking questions,” Genma insisted.  

“You shouldn’t need to ask!” Obito snarled in response. “You know Kakashi, you’ve known him for years and you really think he’d just–just–” He couldn’t even say it outloud. Even voicing the idea that Kakashi killed Rin simply because she was in the way of finishing a mission felt like a betrayal to both of them. 

“We don’t know him, not really,” Kurenai responded carefully. “No one does, that’s why it’s so easy for a rumor like this to spread.” 

Obito managed to throw Raidou and Genma off of him. They let him go free, but hovered in case he decided to go on the offensive again. He brushed himself off with an irritated huff, scowling deeply at all four of them in turn. 

“ I know him! And sure, Kakashi may not be the easiest person to talk to, or be on a team with, or do anything with–” Obito cut himself off before he got sidetracked. “The point is, yeah he can be a little shit sometimes, but he’s still a good person. And sometimes he’s still just an ok friend, but he’s trying to do better, I know he is, and that’s what matters. So yeah, Kakashi is a stupid jerk, but he’s a stupid jerk that is my friend–my best friend! So if any of you have a problem with him, you have a problem with me!” He jabbed a finger at each of them in turn. “So if I ever hear any of you even so much as whisper the phrase ‘friend-killer’ ever again I swear I’ll–” 

Halfway through his rant, he started to notice how all of them were staring at something behind him and gesturing frantically with a nod or a shifting of their gaze. He was so busy yelling at them that it took far too long to realize why their attention was wandering. Whether it was a shinobi instinct, or just knowing his own shit luck, Obito knew exactly what he’d find when he turned around. 

Flushing with anger and embarrassment, Obito turned around. Sure enough, there was Kakashi, standing stock-still with his face completely devoid of any readable emotion. He barely even blinked, and avoided eye contact with any of them. 

He had no idea how much Kakashi overheard, and he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know. “Oh, hey Bakashi–” 

Kakashi’s face remained completely impassive as he held up an armful of shopping bags. “I got everything on the list.” He didn’t look at any of them, staring straight ahead past them all. 

The only person who didn’t look awkward and uncomfortable about the entire situation was Gai, who looked thrilled about Kakashi’s arrival. “Rival!” he greeted cheerfully. “How fortuitous that you are here today!” 

Kakashi didn’t verbally respond, but he did tilt his head slightly in acknowledgement. For Kakashi, that was nearly the equivalent of an enthusiastic wave. Kakashi didn’t care for any kind of extraneous motions or interactions, so the fact that he was bothering to acknowledge Gai at all meant more than any of them probably knew. 

Without any further acknowledgement, Kakashi turned to leave. Obito immediately called out, “Hold on, I’ll come with you.” He quickly picked up all of his lost items and bags, then glanced back at their classmates, scowling deeply. “I’m done here.” He jogged a few steps to catch up with Kakashi, who didn’t stop or slow down at all. 

They walked in silence for a while, Kakashi not giving away any of his thoughts in his expression or body language. Obito kept glancing over at him, and wanted to say something, but he was struggling to find the words. He kept opening his mouth, then clamping it shut when he lost his nerve. 

Eventually, he couldn’t stand the heavy silence. “Listen, Kakashi–” 

“I had to substitute a few items but it should be fine,” Kakashi deflected. 

Obito increased his pace so he was able to stop in front of Kakashi. “Hey, don’t listen to what those guys were saying, alright? You know how much bored shinobi like to gossip and make up their own rumors.” 

Shrugging, Kakashi responded, “I don’t care what people say about me. It’s not like I’ve never been on the receiving end of a nasty rumor before.” He pushed past Obito, jostling the bags they were both carrying. The action was far too quick to actually make it believable that he was truly unaffected by what he’d heard. 

He frowned, and caught up to Kakashi again. “If anyone ever gives you shit, just tell me. I’ll set them straight.” 

“Wow, my hero,” Kakashi deadpanned. “But seriously, don’t worry about it. I don’t care,” he lied. 

Maybe if he hadn’t started to get to know Kakashi better, he wouldn’t have realized how bothered he really was. Maybe he would have believed Kakashi’s false nonchalance, and his dismissive attitude. But now? He knew it was a front. He could tell by the way Kakashi was just a little too carefree about the whole situation. 

He stopped in front of Kakashi again. “I’m serious. None of what they were saying is true.” 

This time, Kakashi shoved past him. “I told you, I don’t care. Now, stop getting in my way, we have things to do.” 

Despite knowing it was probably useless, Obito called after him, “It’s ok if you’re not ok!” 

“I’m fine ,” Kakashi snapped without turning around, sounding very much like someone who was not fine. “But you won’t be if you don’t stop bothering me.” 

“Yeah, that’s what someone who’s ‘fine’ sounds like,” Obito grumbled in response, but he stopped pushing. He trailed after Kakashi, pretending he couldn’t see the tension he was now carrying in his shoulders. 

They walked for a while in a tense silence. Kakashi was being more withdrawn and prickly than usual, so Obito knew it was pointless to try to keep getting him to open up. He didn’t take it personally, he knew that was just how Kakashi was. As much as he was frustrated by Kakashi’s avoidance, it was so obviously a defense mechanism, and he was honestly pretty used to it by now. The more emotionally vulnerable Kakashi felt, the more he tended to lash out. 

Obito didn’t quite speed up to match pace with Kakashi, so he walked right into his back when Kakashi stopped walking abruptly. The fact that Kakashi didn’t move out of the way was surprising enough that Obito didn’t curse him out for the action. He did take a few steps back, so he wasn’t standing so uncomfortably close to his emotionally stunted friend. 

It seemed like Kakashi was debating something, and was silent long enough that Obito wanted to snap at him to say something. He never turned back to look at Obito, staring resolutely ahead as if there was something very interesting in his sight. 

Eventually, Obito’s impatience won out. “What, Bakashi?” 

Kakashi barely reacted to Obito’s sharp tone, which set off alarm bells. He normally had no problem matching Obito’s brashness head on, so either Kakashi was really affected by what he’d overheard from their classmates, or he had something really important to say. 

“...did you mean what you said?” 

“I don’t say shit I don’t mean,” Obito scoffed. “They were just being–” 

“Not that,” Kakashi interjected. “The part about me being your–” he murmured the next part, as if he could barely believe he was saying it, “...best friend?” 

Damn, why did Bakashi get so weird everytime the topic of friendship came up? Was the idea really that repulsive? “Uh yeah, like I said, I don’t say shit I don’t mean.” He frowned, and added, “Is that a problem?” 

“No,” Kakashi replied, surprisingly quick. “I just–are you sure?” 

“Huh?” 

“Are you sure?” Kakashi repeated. “I’m not exactly…you know. Good at that. Friendship, I mean.” 

Well, that was a surprisingly vulnerable admission. Better make a joke to break the tension. “It was bound to happen eventually, you not being good at something. Don’t feel bad, that’s what it’s like being a normal person.” 

Instead of responding with an equal amount of snarkiness, as expected, Kakashi just stared at him blankly. He replied with a half-hearted, “Very funny,” but nothing else. 

The lack of any kind of witty response was alarming. Kakashi always had some kind of sarcastic remark or perfectly timed barb ready to go. For him to just let Obito tease him without pushing back even a little, he must really not be ok. 

But of course, Kakashi didn’t want to talk about it. After his lack of response to Obito’s teasing remark, he just walked off toward Minato and Kushina’s house without another word. Obito felt too out of his depth to try to get Kakashi to open up again. He was still barely used to the two of them being civil, let alone close enough to talk about feelings of all things. 

Kakashi remained on edge the rest of the day, which was concerning because he was usually able to at least pretend he wasn’t bothered by anything. What was even more alarming was that he also wasn’t short-tempered and snippy like he usually was when Obito tried to push a topic Kakashi didn’t want to discuss. He was just…there. Even though Obito didn’t try to get him to talk again, Kakashi remained distant and distracted. He completed every task with his usual efficiency, but he was dead silent the whole time. He didn’t even make fun of Obito for accidentally buying nipple cream meant for breastfeeding mothers! 

In his defense, the shopkeeper probably should have realized he didn’t know what he was talking about when he responded to her questions about “pumping” with information about his most recent workout plan. 

They sorted their supplies and set up the nursery in an uncomfortable silence that Obito absolutely hated. He muttered to himself under his breath to keep himself sane, and Kakashi didn’t even snap at him for being annoying. Another red flag. 

When they both turned in for the night, Kakashi retreating to the couch in the living room and Obito going back to “his” bedroom, Kakashi still didn’t say a word. He didn’t respond to Obito’s usual “goodnight”, nor did he reply when Obito followed up by calling him a “rude asshole” for not saying anything back. 

He debated trying to push Kakashi to talk again, but ultimately decided against it. Who was he to try to play psychologist, anyway? It wasn’t like he was particularly good at processing his own shit. As far as he knew he’d managed to keep his nightmares hidden from Kakashi, but that didn’t mean they didn’t happen. He should probably be concerned about how often he had vivid dreams about being in the cave with Madara, or watching Rin die, or seeing Sensei and Kushina’s bodies–

Nope, he was not thinking about that. He was far better adjusted than Bakashi, thank you very much. 

(And if sometimes he woke up panicking because he thought he was still in the cave, no one had to know.) 

Despite shoving all of those unpleasant thoughts to the side, he still slept horribly. He couldn’t seem to fall asleep, and every position felt uncomfortable in some way. He must have been laying there for hours, staring up at the dark ceiling and trying to will himself to just go to sleep. He couldn’t help but wonder if Kakashi was having trouble sleeping too, but both of them were too proud to reach out to the other for comfort. 

It was going to be a long night. 

—--------------------------------

When the day finally came for Obito to pick up Naruto from the orphanage, he was by himself. Well, the Sandaime would be there, along with an entourage of his finest ANBU, but no one was there with Obito. 

After the incident with their peers, the next day Kakashi was back to acting like nothing was bothering him. He’d helped Obito finish setting up the nursery, and restarted their now familiar bantering, so it seemed like he was doing better. That made it even more unexpected with Kakashi bailed on him at almost the last minute. The asshole had sprung it on him just last night that he’d volunteered for some super important S-rank mission, so he couldn’t go with Obito to pick up Naruto. Then, he disappeared out the window before Obito could yell at him for leaving. 

That was how he ended up here, walking into the orphanage to meet up with the Hokage on his own. He tried not to let his irritation at Kakashi ruin his good mood, but it was hard to shake the little rain cloud that felt like it was hovering over his head. Maybe he shouldn’t care so much about Kakashi not going with him, but he couldn’t help it. It was just something that they were supposed to do together! It was what Sensei, Kushina, and Rin would have wanted. 

…and maybe it was what Obito wanted too. Possibly. 

The Hokage was waiting for him inside the main entry to the orphanage. He had a pair of ANBU with him, and no doubt at least half a dozen more hidden somewhere around the facility. Obito bowed in deference to their leader.

“Lord Third,” he said respectfully in greeting. 

The Hokage nodded at him in acknowledgment. “Just you today?” he asked, but there was a twinkle in his eye that Obito didn’t understand. 

“Yeah. Kakashi had a super important mission or something,” he grumbled. The words barely left his mouth before he realized the stupidity of his response. Obviously the Hokage knew that, because he was the one that assigned S-rank missions. 

The Sandaime hummed thoughtfully, humoring him. “I see. Well, I’m sure whatever he’s doing, it must be very important to keep him from being here at your side.” 

“...yeah. Super important,” Obito replied dully. It hurt more than he wanted to admit that Kakashi wasn’t here. 

Taking pity on him, the Hokage didn’t call out his lackluster response. Instead, he motioned for Obito to follow him. They met up with a pair of caretakers that made them both sign a bunch of really long, important looking paperwork. Paperwork that officially released the village’s jinchuuriki from the orphanage’s care, and into his own. 

Even after signing all the paperwork, it didn’t really hit him that he was about to officially meet his sort-of younger brother until he followed the Hokage and the caretakers back into a room full of identical cribs. All of them were empty, except one. There was a tiny, blond baby sleeping soundly in the only occupied crib, and he wasn’t alone in the room. 

Next to baby Naruto’s crib, an ANBU wearing a dog mask (who had very familiar silver hair) was standing guard silently. 

Oh, that fucker. He was lucky there was a sleeping baby in the room, or else Obito would have screamed at him for making him think he was here alone. 

The Hokage didn’t hide his amused smile, apparently in on the joke. He nodded toward Kakashi–or rather Hound, since he was in his ANBU gear–and the masked shinobi carefully scooped the baby up. He looked hesitant, in a way that was so out of place for him, as if he was afraid of losing his grip. Still, there was an obvious protectiveness, and a shocking amount of gentleness in his movements. Obito felt like his heart skipped a beat at the sight, even if it didn’t really understand why. 

And then, Kakashi was walking toward him with Naruto in his arms. He stopped in front of Obito, so close that he could see a flash of red behind the hound mask. For a few seconds, it felt like there was no one else in the room besides the three of them. He tried to scowl at Kakashi, to indicate his annoyance at being tricked, but all of his anger quickly melted away as he took one look at Sensei and Kushina’s son. Everything else faded into the background as Obito held out his arms, his synthetic limb having grown back enough to easily support an infant’s weight. 

Obito wouldn’t dare say the moment was perfect, because it would never be perfect without Sensei, Kushina, and Rin. But, for the brief moment when both he and Kakashi had their arms around Naruto as he was transferred between them, everything felt right. 

“Hey, kid,” Obito cooed as he looked down at the tiny, squishy bundle in his arms. “Sorry I’m so late getting here, I got a little lost on the road of life but I promise it won’t happen again.” 

Surprisingly unprofessional, Kakashi let out the tiniest, barely audible huff of laughter that Obito knew must mean, “yeah right”. But ok, in his defense, he’d been much better about being on time lately! He was responsible now, dammit! 

The weight he’d felt on his shoulders since the moment he let the Sandaime take Naruto away was finally lifting. It was like everything slotted into place all at once, and he swore Minato-sensei, Kushina, and Rin must have been with him at that moment. What other explanation could there be for the rush of warmth and affection he felt? And of course, he shed just a few tears. If Naruto’s forehead was a bit damp, it was because it was just really humid in the building, not because Obito sobbed all over him. 

One of the surly orphanage workers who was overseeing them made a face like she wanted to say something unkind about her former charge, but the Hokage’s presence seemed to make her hold her tongue. It was fortunate, because right now Obito was experiencing the most insane rush of protectiveness that he’d ever felt and he was fairly certain he’d eviscerate anyone that so much as looked at Naruto a little funny. 

Naruto finally stirred a bit, his eyes blinking open sleepily. He yawned and stared up blankly at his new guardian, reaching up a tiny hand curiously. Obito shifted the infant so he was supported in one arm, and his other hand was free to let Naruto grab his finger. His hand was so warm, and so small. 

I’d do anything for you , he thought, surprised at the intensity of the realization. Because he would, and it was a bit terrifying to think about. He thought that in that moment, he understood Madara more than he ever had, even in his deepest moments of grief. Because he knew, for all the old man’s evildoings, at his core there had been a powerful, unyielding love. 

He’d listened to the old lunatic’s half-coherent ramblings about his brothers (and occasionally the Shodaime, which was a relationship Obito didn’t dare try to understand) on repeat, when the man was barely a whisper away from senile. Obito never knew if Madara meant to talk about them, or if he was just losing his mind. Either way, the man was a cautionary tale amongst his clan for a reason. Everyone knew their clan loved deeply, and that it was all too easy for that love to become something dark and twisted under the most unfortunate circumstances. 

Obito thought he’d understood, when he’d lost Rin, then Minato-sensei and Kushina, but now, as he stared down at the tiny bundle of life in his arms, he was genuinely questioning his own sanity. Because his next thought was that he’d burn the world to keep Naruto safe. Even if he knew Madara’s dream world was insane, and not a real solution, he felt like he finally, truly understood the desperation and selfish devotion that would have led him down that path. It made him almost pity the crazy old man. Almost. 

This kid may not be his by blood, but he might as well be. This was his family, and he’d never let anything happen to his family. He wouldn’t lose anyone else. Not Naruto, and not even jerkface Bakashi (that he was definitely still mad at). Because somehow, the arrogant, cold, selfish prodigy had become his most reliable friend. His self-admitted best friend. Yeah, he could see how losing either of them might make him go a tad off the rails. 

Better not voice those thoughts, or it might threaten this whole guardianship thing. 

“I assume you are not having second thoughts?” The Sandaime broke him out of his dark musings. 

Obito snorted in response, then realized he’d just snorted at the Hokage . “No, of course not, Lord Third,” he immediately corrected.

Fortunately, the old man seemed to be in one of those moods where he was more amused than annoyed by Obito’s lack of formality. He nodded in approval. “Excellent. I leave Naruto in your care, then. We will have our first check-in a week from Friday. If everything is going well, we will be able to spread them out further. For now, I expect we will be seeing a lot of each other while we make sure both you and Naruto are settling in.” 

“I understand,” Obito replied dutifully. 

The Hokage smiled warmly, patting Obito’s shoulder as he walked past him. He paused and turned back to say, “I hope you know that Minato and Kushina would be very proud of you. Both of you.” His gaze flickered over toward Kakashi. 

Obito held Naruto closer to his chest, his throat tightening. “I–thanks. I’m going to do my best to keep making them proud,” he promised. 

Obito looked down at Naruto again, not bothering to hide his fond smile. The infant had gone from grabbing his finger to trying to gnaw on it. He held back a wince, as a sharp tooth nicked his finger. He was fairly certain that some teeth were normal at this age, but little needle-sharp teeth were not. Maybe it was from the fox? As long as it wasn’t causing a problem, he probably wouldn’t say anything. There was no reason to get anyone worried about the state of Naruto’s seal. The less they worried about it, the less likely they were to try to take the kid away from him. 

While the Hokage was finalizing some details with the orphanage workers, Obito turned toward Kakashi so he could properly glare at him. “So, super important S-rank mission, huh?” 

Kakashi tilted his head in response, and at first Obito didn’t think he would verbally reply. “I am overseeing the transfer of care of the village’s jinchuuriki, and any mission involving the jinchuuriki automatically gets raised to S-rank,” he recited, sounding more monotone than Obito was used to. 

“Asshole,” Obito hissed in response. “I thought you ditched me.” 

This time, Kakashi didn’t respond. It wasn’t surprising, since ANBU weren’t really supposed to talk much while on duty unless they had to. And since Kakashi was in his full ANBU uniform, mask and all, Obito couldn’t prove that the shithead was silently laughing at him, but he just knew he was. 

“You’re a dick,” Obito continued, “but I’m still glad you’re here.” 

There was a barely audible, sharp intake of breath from Kakashi, which Obito took to mean “me too”. 

“It’s official, then,” the Hokage announced, having finished whatever business he had with the orphanage worker. “I am leaving Naruto in your care.” His gaze turned sharp. “I have faith in you, Obito, but you would do well to remember that there are no second chances for this. Don’t give me a reason to regret my decision.” 

The Hokage didn’t wait for a response, making his exit with the presence and authority befitting a man of his standing. Obito let out the breath he was holding as soon as the old man and the majority of his ANBU were out of sight. It was just him and Kakashi left in the room with one of the frowning caretakers, glaring at them to indicate they’d overstayed their welcome. 

He took a few moments to ground himself, trying not to become overwhelmed by the reality of the situation. 

He had a kid to take care of now. Not just any kid, Minato-sensei and Kushina’s kid. The Kyuubi jinchuuriki. Probably one of the few remaining Uzumaki too. So no pressure at all to not fuck up. 

Naruto didn’t have any belongings, which made sense considering he was living at a public orphanage, but it still rubbed Obito the wrong way. “Don’t worry,” he said loud enough for the remaining caretaker in the room to hear, “you’ll have everything you’ve ever needed with me. With us ,” he amended, shooting Kakashi a small smile. 

Kakashi didn’t verbally respond, but he stayed close as they made their way back through the maze of a building. Obito ignored the hisses of “good riddance” and “monster” thrown their way, gritting his teeth to keep himself from making a scene. Naruto remained blissfully unaware in his arms, quietly curious about the new person holding him. He didn’t seem bothered by Obito’s facial scars or missing eye, and in fact seemed to be kind of fascinated with them. He kept reaching up with a stubby little hand, so Obito held him closer to his face to let the kid poke and prod as much as he wanted. Naruto gurgled something unintelligible in response. 

When they stepped outside, Naruto’s attention turned to their surroundings. He looked completely dumbstruck by the warm sunlight and blue sky, and kept getting distracted whenever a bird flew overhead. It hurt Obito’s heart to realize he’d probably never been outside before. 

But the kid wasn’t scared, not at all. He seemed fascinated, and maybe a bit overwhelmed, but not afraid. 

“Brave just like your mom and dad,” he said affectionately, whispering so no one could hear him technically breaking the rules. In his defense, it wasn’t like the kid would remember Obito had said something about his parents! 

Besides the only person around to hear him was Kakashi who–

Nope, Kakashi was gone. He’d apparently disappeared the moment they’d stepped outside. Right. ANBU. Sneaking and shadows, not walking around in brought daylight with the Kyuubi jinchuuriki and his new guardian. He was probably somewhere nearby, but Kakashi was too good at concealing himself for Obito to find him. 

Whatever. Kakashi had his job, and Obito had his. With a sigh, Obito started making his way back toward Minato and Kushina’s house with their son. Their son they would never get to know. And if the Hokage and the Council had their way, Naruto wouldn’t know them either. A handful of ANBU had been sent over to assess Naruto’s living space, and they’d even gone so far as to remove any photos of Minato and Kushina. All traces of them were gone from the house. Obito barely managed to sneak Kakashi’s team photo away for safekeeping. His own had been lost when his apartment was destroyed, so Obito wasn’t going to lose this one too. 

No one paid him much mind as he walked through the village. He got the usual looks–some pitying, some disgusted–but no one was looking too closely at who he was carrying. A few people even smiled or made cooing sounds when they saw he had a baby in his arms. Luckily, no one seemed to realize they were making silly faces at the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. Obito doubted the anonymity would last. 

The journey home was uneventful. Part of him wanted to run around and show off Naruto to everyone he could find, but he knew now wasn’t the right time. He needed to get Naruto settled in at home first, and make sure he was safe and healthy. He’d already noticed how light the infant felt in his arms compared to babies of similar age that he’d held. Originally he thought maybe Naruto just seemed small because he was wearing borrowed clothes that were way too big for him, but the more Obito looked at him, the more he realized that the kid wasn’t quite as vibrant and chubby as he should be at this age. There was an unhealthy pallor and dullness to his skin, and a sluggishness to his movements. And he was tiny. Not just tiny like a baby should be, tiny like there wasn’t enough fat and muscle covering his fragile little frame. 

The idea that anyone would have neglected a child, any child, but especially this child made him furious. He stopped to collect himself, so he wouldn’t scare Naruto by accidentally leaking killing intent. It just so happened that when he stopped, he could perfectly see the Yondaime’s stone face looking down on him. 

“I’m sorry, Sensei,” he said quietly. “I never should have let them take Naruto. I promise I’ll make this right. He’ll never be alone or scared or hungry ever again. I promise.” 

It was a big promise to make, considering his very high-risk profession, and the dangers Naruto would face as both an Uzumaki and a jinchuuriki, but he would do his damndest to keep that promise. 

Naruto was starting to fuss by the time they made it home. The poor kid was probably hungry, given that he clearly wasn’t getting enough to eat on a day-to-day basis. Maybe it was an Uzumaki thing, or a jinchuuriki thing, but he remembered Kushina having an absolutely monstrous appetite. Maybe Naruto needed more than an average child his age. Or maybe the people left in charge of him were just pieces of shit that were taking their fear and anger out on an innocent kid. 

“We’ll get you something to eat,” he promised as they reached the front door of Minato and Kushina’s house. 

When he opened the door, he almost drew a kunai when he heard a bored drawl of, “Took you long enough”. 

Fortunately, he recognized the voice in time to keep himself from launching an attack. “Fucking hell, Bakashi! Why do you always do that?” Obito snapped in response, shutting the door roughly behind him. 

Kakashi was lounging on the couch, sans ANBU gear, staring at him intently. “Because it’s always funny,” he responded. 

Naruto whimpered a little in his arms, probably in response to the tone and volume of his voice. Shit, he was really gonna have to work on his reactions. He didn’t want to scare the poor kid every time he opened his mouth. 

“Sorry, sorry, it’s ok,” he cooed. Naruto calmed down quickly, so Obito felt ok shooting Kakashi a brief glare. “Thought you’d be on duty all day.” 

Kakashi shrugged, and stood up from the couch. He hovered nervously, before taking a few cautious steps toward the door. “My only job was to make sure the transfer went ok. As soon as you were out the door, someone else was keeping an eye on you.” 

“Guess the old man’s getting sentimental,” Obito commented. It certainly wasn’t a coincidence, letting Kakashi be the one to literally hand Naruto over to him, then have him released from any further responsibilities for the day. 

“Only a little,” Kakashi replied. “I already have a mission set for the day after tomorrow,” he explained apologetically. 

“It is what it is. We both knew you wouldn’t be around all the time,” Obito reminded him. 

“Yeah…” Kakashi trailed off, staring down at Naruto with a complex mixture of emotions. 

Obito looked between his friend, who was still standing a few feet away, and the surprisingly silent infant in his arms. “Do you want to hold him? I mean, I know you kind of did already but I promise it doesn’t get old.” He nuzzled the kid affectionately for emphasis. Naruto made a curious gurgling sound and reached up to poke at his face again. 

“I…” Kakashi looked comically unsure about how to answer the question. 

“You don’t have to, but you can, if you want.” He was definitely not going to force Kakashi to hold Naruto. The last thing he wanted was for Kakashi to freak out and drop the baby or something. Not that he really thought Kakashi would, but it was better safe than sorry. 

Still unsure, Kakashi took a few tentative steps forward. He didn’t take Naruto back into his arms, but he did reach out so he could grab the kid’s tiny hand with a few fingers. 

“Are you gonna shake his hand?” Obito snickered. Despite the teasing, the entire interaction made him feel stupidly warm and content. 

Kakashi rolled his eye in response. Then, his expression hardened. “I noticed when I picked him up that he seemed small, but I didn’t realize how unhealthy he looked.” There was a mixture of sadness and righteous anger in his voice. “And he’s so dirty. When I was part of his guard, I was never close enough to realize.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Obito assured him. He scowled, and added, “I just can’t believe how long the old man let it go on. We told him months ago that Naruto was barely getting the bare minimum care! He said he’d address it.” 

“Believe it or not,” Kakashi added dryly, “it did get better after we told him.” 

“Fuck,” he replied succinctly. “The old man better hope that ghosts aren’t real, because otherwise Kushina will haunt him for the rest of his life.” 

Kakashi chuckled in response, then seemed emboldened. He cautiously held his arms out so Obito could hand Naruto back to him. Just like at the orphanage, there was the same moment of “right” when they both had their arms around him. The feeling only intensified as he watched Kakashi shift from tense and uncomfortable, to practically melting as Naruto looked up at him with those big blue eyes. 

Obito felt himself unable to hold back a smile. When Kakashi looked up and caught his eye, he raised an eyebrow. Obito found that he didn’t have an answer for why he was standing there smiling like a fool. He just felt weirdly…warm. And dare he might even say, happy. 

“I’m going to make up a bottle for him,” Obito answered in lieu of a real response. “You good for a few minutes?” 

There was a slightly dazed expression on Kakashi’s face that he had to blink away. He finally tore his gaze away from Obito and glanced back down at the tiny bundle in his arms. “Yeah. I’m good.” 

Still smiling, Obito left the two of them alone together so he could gather everything he needed in the kitchen. He hummed quietly to himself, something he hadn’t felt like doing since they lost Minato and Kushina. He used to do it all the time, and it drove Kakashi crazy. Rin was never bothered by it, because she was too nice for her own good. And of course, Minato-sensei and Kushina encouraged it. Whenever they roped him into helping with dinner, it was always a big production with the two of them. Kushina provided backup in the form of humming or singing (usually off key) and Minato tapped out a beat on the nearest flat surface. 

Gods, he missed them all so much. But today, thinking about them was almost bittersweet. It still hurt, but maybe a little less than usual. He could remember the happiness and warmth from their lives, and not just the pain of their deaths. Was this what healing felt like? 

He finished preparing the bottle, still humming quietly to himself. He even checked the temperature of the formula on his wrist, like a proper parent. And then he realized that it was a useless endeavor because he’d used the side of his body that was synthetic, so he really couldn’t feel heat or cold anyway. Fortunately, when he repeated the action on the other wrist, the temperature was ok. 

Satisfied with his efforts, Obito collected the bottle and returned to the living room. He picked up the pace of the tune he was humming, feeling good about his efforts. “Ok I got the–” 

Obito cut himself off with a sharp gasp, dropping the bottle in shock at the sight in front of him. “Oh. My. Gods.” 

The reason for his surprise had the gall to look confused about his reaction. “What’s wrong with you? I thought we were under attack or something,” Kakashi grumbled in response. 

“What’s wrong with me? ” Obito asked, aghast. “What’s wrong with you ?!” 

Kakashi frowned at him–and Obito could tell what kind of face he was making because he wasn’t wearing his mask! His whole face was uncovered, and his expression was completely visible. His. Face. Was. Visible. 

“You’re going to scare the baby,” Kakashi scoffed, still not understanding the gravity of the situation. 

Obito did manage to lower the volume of his voice, but not the intensity. “You have a face!” he hissed. 

Kakashi looked at him incredulously. “Of course I do. Did you think I just had a black hole under here?” 

“And now he’s making jokes.” Obito shook his head, disbelievingly. “He has a face, and he’s making jokes.” 

In response, Kakashi bared his teeth . His fucking teeth, which were pointy . 

“You have fangs,” Obito said without thinking. “You have a face, you’re making jokes, and you have fangs.” 

“I don’t have fangs,” Kakashi replied, sounding completely unamused. 

“What do you call those?!” 

“Keep your voice down!” Kakashi hissed when Naruto whimpered again in response to Obito’s increased volume. “A lot of members of my clan have– had –elongated canines.” 

“Sounds like fangs to me,” Obito murmured in response. “So is that why you wear the mask all the time?” 

“No,” Kakashi replied succinctly. His frown deepened. “Would you stop staring at me?” 

Obito almost laughed at the request. How could he stop staring? He was seeing Kakashi’s whole damn face! He’d spend so much of his childhood wondering what was behind the mask. He and Rin used to try to sneak peaks on missions, and Obito knew for a fact that many of their classmates had bets going about what Kakashi’s face looked like. 

It was immensely disappointing to know that he’d been wrong about all his theories. “They’re not that weird, you know. The Inuzuka have teeth like that too and you don’t see them covering their faces!” 

Kakashi didn’t respond, not even blinking. 

Obito continued, “Honestly, it’s kind of a let down. I thought you had fish lips or a forked tongue or something but you’re just…” He looked at Kakashi’s face, really looked at it, trying to come up with a fitting description for what he was seeing. He’d been so caught up on the fact that Kakashi wasn’t wearing a mask that he really hadn’t even processed what he was looking at. 

Kakashi’s face was…kind of nice, actually. Like, aesthetically. In fact, it was too nice. Of course the asshole also had a stupidly perfect face! How unfair! Not even a single pimple or blemish, and definitely no fish lips in sight. There was a small beauty mark, but it didn’t look out of place or detract from Kakashi’s annoyingly perfect complexion. 

And then, when Obito realized he’d been silently staring at Kakashi for an uncomfortably long time, he also learned that Kakashi blushed a horrifyingly delightful pink color. Fucking hell, this wasn’t fair at all! 

He felt his own face heating up in response, as the silence ticked on. Obito coughed awkwardly, averting his gaze. “Your face is stupid. But you’re not completely hideous, I guess.” 

Instead of taking it as a compliment, Kakashi huffed, “Who said I was hideous?” 

Obito felt his own flush worsening. “I don’t know, I just thought it was kind of a reasonable assumption for someone who hides their face all the time!” 

“Well, you know what they say when you assume things.” Kakashi shrugged, then turned his attention back to Naruto. “Now, are you going to clean up that bottle, or not?” 

Even though he wanted to argue, he could see that Naruto was getting fussier, probably from hunger, so he dropped the discussion. At least temporarily. Obito picked up the bottle that he’d dropped and inspected it for leaks. Fortunately, it was still intact, save for a few drops that had spilled when it hit the ground. He ran it back to the kitchen to clean it off, made sure the temperature was still appropriate, then brought it back to Naruto. 

As soon as he held the bottle up for Naruto, the kid grabbed at it and drank almost greedily. It hurt to see how desperate the baby seemed to be for basic nourishment. Kakashi appeared to mirror his concern, based on the way his entire face fell as he watched their new charge. 

Despite the seriousness of the situation, it was still hitting him hard that he could see Kakashi’s full expression. He was torn between looking at Kakashi’s bare face, and Naruto’s desperate attempts to fill his belly. 

Kakashi caught his gaze and sighed. He explained, “I read a study where babies became emotionally stunted by having caretakers who didn’t emote when interacting with them. I wasn’t sure if the mask would have the same effect.” 

“Oh. Well, that’s…thoughtful.” More than thoughtful, really. Obito knew that Kakashi never took his mask off, even when it was just the two of them alone. He was incredibly particular about keeping his face hidden, and yet he took the mask off like it was nothing, just for Naruto. 

Suddenly, Obito realized what an ass he was being, making such a big deal about seeing Kakashi’s face. There was a reason Kakashi had never taken his mask off in front of him before, so Obito should probably try to respect his privacy. He averted his gaze as respectfully as he could. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“You didn’t,” Kakashi replied quickly. “I mean, it’s really not a big deal. We’re…best friends, aren’t we? I think I can handle letting my best friend see my face.” 

Despite the apparent ease of the admission, Obito knew that it was a big step for his and Kakashi’s relationship. 

Considering they were functionally going to be raising a kid together, maybe it was a bit silly and definitely out of order to make a big deal of seeing Kakashi’s face. But, he’d never claimed that he and Kakashi had a normal relationship, and he certainly wasn’t going to say so now.

Chapter Text

Having a baby around was not what he expected. During his preparation for childrearing, Obito had cared for a lot of kids of different ages. Naruto wasn’t like any of them. He’d taken care of spoiled kids, orphaned kids, and a few kids with special needs, but Naruto was just…different. 

Naruto was prone to horrific screaming fits, seemingly at random. He didn’t sleep through the night, he never smiled, and he was behind on his normal milestones. By now, a baby his age should be able to sit up unsupported, and should also be actively exploring the world around them. Naruto didn’t do either of those things. He couldn’t stay upright without help (even though he screamed when either Obito or Kakashi tried to support him), and he mostly just poked or prodded at new objects instead of trying to pick them up. He was obviously curious about his surroundings and his new guardians, but it was more watchful than adventurous. 

He also definitely didn’t know his name. No matter how many times Obito or Kakashi called his name, he didn’t show any kind of recognition. Even worse, he did respond to a few other words that Kakashi told him had been used more frequently in the kid’s presence. 

Namely, “demon” and “monster”. Neither of them would ever call him such horrible names, of course, but they’d tried once just to prove their theory. Naruto had reacted immediately, showing the kind of recognition that would be expected for his actual name at this age. 

Obito almost got physically ill after that particular realization. And then Kakashi had to hold him back when he tried to stomp out the door to go back and give the orphanage workers a piece of his mind. 

The only thing Naruto was on track with was his appetite. In fact, he exceeded expectations for his age. That was fine, Obito would give him as much as he needed, but the poor kid was malnourished enough that Kakashi was worried about refeeding syndrome. They had to gradually increase his food intake to avoid making him sicker. He already had terrible gastric upset all the time, which made his nutritional issues even more difficult. 

It was no wonder the kid was always screaming and crying. His stomach probably hurt, and he had definitely not been appropriately cleaned and changed at the orphanage. He acted like he had a really bad diaper rash, even though his skin was clear. Maybe he’d had one in the past, or maybe he’d just gotten used to sitting in a dirty diaper for too long. Whatever the reason, it made changing diapers more of a nightmare than it already was. Plus, he’d been terribly dirty and greasy when they got him, and didn’t seem comfortable in the bath. He’d screamed the whole time, and the bath water had a disgusting gray tinge to it when they were done. 

Obito knew that taking care of a baby wouldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows, but he hadn’t expected his first few days with Naruto to be like this. Sure, he knew it was probably unrealistic to expect instantaneous bonding, but he’d really hoped that Naruto would just know his new guardians were safe. Maybe he’d miraculously recognize them from the day he was born, or something. 

Yeah, that definitely wasn’t the case. He was fussy, and uncooperative all the time. He wanted to be held, but something always seemed to set him off. Obito was worried it was because he was in pain, but when he tried to contact the Hokage about having him checked out, he couldn’t get a meeting set up. The liaison he sent a clone to talk to asked if there was a problem with the seal, and when he said no, he was told the Hokage would get back to him in “7-10 business days”. He genuinely had no idea if the old man was even being given his message. 

At least he and Kakashi had been able to split the screaming fits for the first few days to make it more manageable. Now, Obito was alone with a very cranky (and loud) infant. Kakashi had apologized profusely for leaving on his mission, but Obito could tell he was relieved to have a break from the constant tantrums. 

He tried everything to get Naruto to settle, but nothing seemed to work. He screamed when he was held, he screamed when he was put down, and sometimes he screamed in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. It had only been a few days but Obito had already forgotten what silence was like. 

That didn’t mean he regretted his decision to care for Naruto, he just had some additional concerns about his new charge’s wellbeing. And his own sanity. He really hoped Naruto would calm down once they both got used to each other. All of the kid’s routines had changed, and Obito and Kakashi were basically strangers to him. A little bit of a rough adjustment was expected, but this seemed excessive. 

And then, a few days into his new guardianship, there was a tentative knock on the door. Obito almost set it on fire in response. He’d just gotten Naruto to settle! He had the kid in his arms, and had been doing his best to rock and soothe him. It finally seemed to work, and Naruto’s screams had at least dropped a few decibels into a more tolerable range. Unfortunately, the knocking sound disturbed him, and the crying picked up again. Obito wanted to cry with him.

Cursing, he stomped over to the door and threw it open, glaring at his visitors even before they were in sight. Two of his younger cousins, carrying a couple of heavy looking boxes, stood on the other side of the door wearing apologetic expressions. He’d known they were coming, at some point, but he hadn’t realized it would be right now . 

“Sorry, did we wake him?” Shisui asked, shifting the box he was carrying so he could peer around at the sorry sight in front of him. 

“What do you think?” Obito snapped, though it was barely audible over the infant’s shrill cries. He knew he must look like a mess, covered in drool and probably spit up, and definitely looking very unkempt. 

In his defense, he hadn’t really gotten to rest (physically or mentally) since Naruto came home, and he definitely wasn’t keeping up with personal hygiene. All of his time and attention was going toward trying to make up for Naruto’s previous neglect, and also trying to stay sane during the baby’s screaming fits. 

Naruto had definitely inherited his mother’s lung capacity, that was for sure. 

“We apologize for disturbing you,” Itachi said diplomatically. “We have the supplies my parents put together. May we come in?” He was (thankfully) speaking quietly, despite the ruckus Naruto was making. 

Obito stepped aside to allow his younger cousins access to the chaotic mess that was their living room. It had only been a short period of time since Naruto was brought home, but the house was already a mess of toys and general chaos. Funny how having a baby around made all attempts at organization completely futile. 

Itachi respectfully kept his gaze focused on just the area in front of him, ignoring the mess and organizing the items that he and Shisui had brought. Conversely, Shisui was looking around at everything so intently that Obito was surprised he didn’t activate his Sharingan. 

“Close the door before you let in a draft,” Obito instructed over the sound of the screaming infant. 

Grimacing, Shisui did as he was bid. “Yikes, the kid can really scream,” he said at a louder than normal volume. 

Obito glared at him as Naruto screamed louder in response to the noise. He kept patting Naruto’s back, and rocking back and forth to try to calm him. He felt like he was practically bouncing in place with how much he was trying to rock him, but still nothing was working. 

“Come on, kiddo,” he tried to soothe. “You’ve gotta run out of things to scream about eventually.” 

Shisui looked uncomfortable, and kept looking toward the door like he wanted to leave but couldn’t because basic manners wouldn’t allow him to be so rude. Itachi was less bothered, staring at Obito with his usual too-wise expression. 

Then, he asked so softly Obito was amazed it was audible, “May I hold him?” 

As much as he already loved Naruto, he wouldn’t lie that it was a relief to give his poor ears a break from the shrieking, so he nodded eagerly. He definitely wouldn’t be comfortable handing Naruto over to just anyone, but he trusted his cousins. He also didn’t know what kind of opportunity the two of them would have to interact with Naruto again, so he wanted to give them a chance to at least meet the kid. 

When Obito went to get permission for Itachi and Shisui to visit, the Council had been extremely hesitant to let them anywhere near the young jinchuuriki. The Hokage ultimately allowed it, but it was obviously not a long term agreement. Obito hoped that in the future he could change that, but he wasn’t holding his breath. The Council really didn’t trust the Uchiha, and still very obviously included Obito with the rest of his kin. Obito had also been told that he was absolutely not allowed to take Naruto into the Compound itself. Ever. 

Itachi was a small kid, but Naruto still looked tiny in his arms. Once again, Obito was reminded how abnormally small Naruto was for his age. It only confirmed his theory that he hadn’t been getting proper meals. The bare minimum, at least on paper since ANBU had been watching him, but that didn’t mean much in reality. It wasn’t like ANBU had been tasked with measuring Naruto’s formula intake, or making sure he was given a quality product. They’d only made sure that he was eating something . Clearly, they’d missed a lot. 

It seemed like Itachi noticed too, because a small crease formed on his forehead from concern. He didn’t comment on the apparent malnutrition, holding Naruto close to him and murmuring something quietly under his breath. Unlike Obito, who had probably been a little overzealous with his rocking and soothing, Itachi was much calmer and softer with his efforts. He rubbed the baby’s back instead of patting it, and only swayed gently. 

Miraculously, it only took a minute or two to see a difference. Naruto finally stopped bawling, devolving into the occasional mewl or hiccup, then finally into sweet, merciful silence. In fact, he settled so much that his eyelids started to look very heavy, and his head fell forward onto the older boy’s shoulder. 

Clearly, Obito’s younger cousin was a witch. That was the only explanation for what had just happened. 

He was afraid to speak and ruin the silence, but he had to know. “How did you do that?” Obito whispered. At least, he thought he whispered. His ears were ringing so it was kind of hard to gauge his current volume. 

“He was exhausted,” Itachi answered quietly. “I think you were being a little too vigorous with your movements, and it kept him from being able to sleep. That’s why he fell asleep the moment all the stimulation stopped.” 

“But–” The answer couldn’t possibly be that simple. “The kids I babysat liked to be bounced around like that.” 

Itachi shrugged as much as he could with the infant in his arms. “All babies are different. And he may still enjoy it, just not when he’s trying to fall asleep.” He was still rubbing soothing circles on Naruto’s back. “Sasuke was a very colicky baby, so I have a lot of practice with crying infants. He responded well to warm baths too.” 

Obito sat back on the couch, groaning and leaning his head onto his hands. “I can’t believe I’ve been causing his insomniac screaming fits.” 

“I don’t think you caused them, you just made them worse,” Itachi replied, sounding like he was genuinely trying to be helpful. 

“What my friend here meant to say,” Shisui interjected, “is that you’re doing the best you can and that babies are hard.” 

Obito laughed dryly at the comment. “This baby in particular. And not because of the reason you think,” he said quickly, just as Shisui looked like he wanted to say something they were definitely not supposed to talk about. “He just doesn’t act like I would expect for a baby his age. I mean, I expected some crying and screaming and stuff but it just seems like a lot. And he’s pretty behind on a lot of his developmental milestones.” He sighed. “I don’t know, it’s probably just all the changes and stuff. It must be a lot on the poor little guy.” 

“Aren’t all babies different with that kind of stuff? Like the ages they do things?” Shisui asked, shrugging. He looked to Itachi for confirmation. 

Itachi frowned in response, looking contemplative. “Forgive me for assuming,” the kid said cautiously, “but is it possible that certain needs were not being met in the past?” 

“It’s more than possible,” Obito confirmed with a scowl. 

Both of his younger cousins looked appropriately horrified at the confirmation. 

“That’s awful,” Shisui commented, genuinely upset by the knowledge. “I mean in general, but also considering who he’s…” He trailed off, avoiding saying the rest out loud, but the conclusion to the sentence was clear enough. 

“Yeah,” Obito agreed sadly. 

Quietly, Itachi added, “Trauma can cause developmental stunting in infants.” 

“I didn’t even think about that,” Obito admitted, “but it makes perfect sense. The poor little guy.” He glanced over at the sleeping infant in question, still comfortably snoozing away against Itachi’s shoulder. “I knew raising a kid would be hard, but I never expected something like this.” 

“I don’t think anyone really would,” Shisui responded with a shrug. “Does it make you want to change your mind about this whole thing?” 

“Absolutely not,” Obito replied immediately. 

“Good,” Shisui replied, “because I think the kid really needs you.” 

With a small smile, Obito replied, “Honestly I think I need him too.” 

They both looked over fondly at the sleeping infant. 

“You know, he’s pretty cute when he’s not screaming,” Shisui said, leaning over so he could nudge Naruto’s cheek affectionately with a knuckle. He glanced at his younger friend and grinned, “But not as cute as Sasuke, of course! I wouldn’t dare suggest another baby is cuter.” 

“It’s not a competition,” Itachi replied half-heartedly. He was too polite to outright agree with Shisui but it wasn’t exactly a secret that Sasuke had his older brother wrapped around his little finger. His opinion wasn’t exactly difficult to guess. 

Obito didn’t comment, not wanting to start a “whose little brother is the cutest competition” with his cousin. Itachi was way too intense to get into that with him, plus Obito was so mentally exhausted he could barely think straight. Even though, in his totally unbiased opinion, Naruto would win any cuteness competitions hands down. 

Shisui just chuckled in response. “It’s still so weird seeing you being so responsible,” he told Obito. He wiped away a fake tear. “They grow up so fast.” 

“I’m older than you,” Obito reminded his cousin. 

Shrugging, Shisui responded, “But I’m wiser.” 

Well, he couldn’t really dispute that. Shisui was a prodigy, after all. He’d already accomplished more in his few short years as a shinobi than Obito had in his entire career. Ugh, that stung to think about. 

“Yeah, that’s probably true,” Obito admitted with a sigh. 

Shisui just grinned at him in response, then his expression shifted. He seemed a little hesitant, but decided to say whatever was on his mind anyway. “Ok so you know I have to ask,” Shisui said suddenly, looking at Obito expectantly. “Because there’s a lot of rumors about–” 

Obito immediately cut him off as soon as he heard the word “rumor”. This could only be going in one direction, and he didn’t like it. “Don’t finish that sentence.” He wasn’t exactly surprised that Shisui would contribute to the gossip mill, but he usually at least had more tact than this. And really, didn’t people have anything better to do than shit talk Kakashi? “Seriously, don’t say another fucking word,” he snapped. 

Shisui blinked owlishly at him. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t think you’d be so bothered by me asking.” 

Not bothered? Was he serious? “Well you thought wrong,” he growled, barely keeping his voice low to avoid disturbing Naruto. 

Shisui held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, sorry! I really didn’t mean anything by it, I swear! Not that it would be a problem if it was true, by the way.” He scratched at his head awkwardly. “I just kind of thought that since you and Kakashi were living together tha maybe there was some truth to it. I know it’s not traditional but you have to know I don’t care about–” 

“Hold on, what?” Obito frowned at his cousin, not following the train of thought. “What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?” 

Shisui looked equally confused. “Um, everything? I mean, that’s what married people usually do, so I thought it was a reasonable assumption…?” He shrugged nervously. 

“ Married ?! What the hell are you talking about?!” He jumped up from the couch and this time his voice did rise in volume. Naruto whimpered a little in response but thankfully, remained asleep. Purposefully lowering his voice again he hissed, “Who the hell do you think is married to who here?” 

“You and Kakashi?” Shisui replied weakly, looking to Itachi for support. The younger boy pointedly ignored him, focusing on soothing Naruto after the near disruption of his sleep. 

Obito looked at his younger cousin incredulously. “Why the hell would you ever think me and Bakashi were married?” 

Shisui looked at him like he was the one being ridiculous. “Because you’re living together and raising a kid? Because you left our clan and he made you part of his? Because you’re seen together in public together all the time?” He counted each reason on his fingers. “Isn’t that how you were able to get custody of Naruto? Because you married into the Hatake clan?” 

“That isn’t what happened at all!” Holy shit, is that really what people thought? “I didn’t marry him, I just signed some paperwork!” 

Shisui blinked at him. “Um…” 

“Yes, I know marriage also involves signing some paperwork, but it’s not the same paperwork!” Obito insisted, failing to keep down an embarrassed flush. The thought was just so ludicrous! And why did this keep happening? First, Gai assumed he and Kakashi were together, and now Shisui was assuming they were married ? What the hell? 

“Cousin Obito,” Itachi sighed, “I would highly suggest lowering your voice, unless you want the screaming to start again.” He continued to rub Naruto’s back soothingly, keeping him calm when the baby started to stir again from the increase in volume. 

After a few calming deep breaths, Obito grumbled, “It’s just such an insane idea. I mean, me and Bakashi,” he scoffed. “Besides all the obvious reasons, there’s also the fact that we have, like, zero compatibility. I mean, I only just saw his face for the first time–” 

“You’ve seen his face?” Shisui gasped in response. “You gotta tell me what it’s like, my squad did a mission with him once and we’ve all had a bet going since then about what’s underneath the mask.” 

“It’s…” Obito paused to find the right words. What should he say? He didn’t want to say anything too personal and betray Kakashi’s trust, but he was pretty sure Kakashi wasn’t wearing his mask because he didn’t want people to know what his face looked like. Kakashi hadn’t told him specifically why he kept his face covered, but he certainly didn’t seem to be uncomfortable about the way he looked. 

And really, he didn’t have anything to be ashamed about anyway. If Obito looked like that , he’d never want to keep his face hidden. But how did he go about describing that sentiment? It was a nice face–a really nice face if he was being totally honest. What did he say, that it was symmetrical? That Kakashi surprisingly had a decent smile, subtle and rare as it was to see? All of that seemed really weird to say out loud, and didn’t really encompass what he’d thought and felt the first time Kakashi took his mask off. 

“Oh,” Shisui finally broke the silence. “Is he that hot? Damn, that means I lost the bet.” 

“I didn’t say that!” Obito hissed, managing to keep his voice down this time. 

“You didn’t have to,” his younger cousin insisted. “Your face said it for you,” Shisui snickered. 

Sure enough, Obito realized his whole face was warm. “Shut up.” 

“Hey, is that anyway to talk to your favorite cousin?” Shisui grinned. 

“Shut up, brat .” 

Shisui pretended to look offended. “And after we came all this way to bring you this stuff.” He gestured toward the boxes, which they had yet to sort through. 

“I do appreciate it,” Obito said genuinely. He really did. Babies, as it turned out, were very expensive, so he could use all the extra supplies he could get his hands on. He started digging through the nearest box, pulling out a couple of particularly cute looking onesies. Some of the clothes were obviously brand new, while others appeared to be lightly worn. Definitely still in good condition, though. 

“There won’t be anything with the Uchiha crest on it,” Itachi commented as Obito picked his way through the items. “My father was very adamant about that.” 

Of course he was. “That’s probably for the best,” Obito sighed. 

Shisui offered a sympathetic smile in response. “Here, let me help you get everything sorted,” he offered. 

“Thanks,” Obito replied. “Seriously, thanks for bringing all of this stuff over.” He glanced toward Itachi. “And thanks for saving my poor ears.” 

“I’d say ‘anytime’ but I don’t think that would be honest,” Shisui responded apologetically. 

“No,” Obito agreed. “When things are more settled I’ll try petitioning the Hokage and the Council again. I want Naruto to be able to know you, even if I’m not part of the clan anymore.”

“Don’t get yourself in trouble for us,” Shisui chided, despite the fact that he was the younger of the pair of them. 

Obito scoffed, “Oh come on, I know how to stay out of trouble.”

Itachi and Shisui shared a very unconvinced look with each other. 

 —--------------------------------

After seeing his little cousin work his magic, Obito felt like he was getting better at comforting Naruto. Naruto fussed just like he always did, but the screaming had significantly improved. Most of the time, at least. He still didn’t sleep through the night, even though he really should be able to at his age. There were some small improvements with his motor function, but he was still behind where he should be. 

Still, Naruto was clearly getting better. He started to gurgle or babble sometimes, instead of just whining or screeching. He also looked less dirty and sickly, and seemed to be physically recovering remarkably fast from the neglect. Obito was honestly excited for Kakashi to see Naruto’s progress when he got back from his mission. It was still too soon to call him completely healthy, but even the Hokage had remarked on his progress at their first check in. 

That was about all he did, though. Other than checking the seal and drilling Obito on questions that he already knew the answer to (thanks to his ANBU skulking in the shadows) like some kind of loyalty or honesty test. As much as Obito wanted to pretend it was because the old man just really trusted him, he doubted that was the case. He knew the Hokage did genuinely care about Naruto’s wellbeing, but he also knew that Naruto had suffered on his watch. Whether it was just a general lack of time to dedicate to a single citizen, as important as that citizen may be, or genuine ignorance, Obito didn’t know. As reckless and impulsive as he could be, Obito wasn’t stupid enough to ask. 

Borderline treasonous thoughts about the Hokage aside, Naruto’s situation was definitely improving. Given his improved health, and the pleasant spring weather they were having, Obito decided it was time for Naruto to experience another very important milestone. It was one that left his stomach feeling twisted in knots, but he knew he’d feel worse if he didn’t do it at all. 

It was time to introduce Naruto to his parents, and to Rin too. At first, he thought about waiting for Kakashi to come back from his mission, but he ultimately decided that his friend was still far too emotionally constipated for such a thing. He’d probably bail anyway. 

“Relax, kiddo,” Obito soothed, trying to wrestle the fussy infant into a onesie that Itachi and Shisui had brought him. “It’s breezy, and you’re tiny. I don’t want you to be cold.” 

In addition to diaper changes, Naruto also hated being dressed. He screeched and squirmed the entire time, and then cried for at least 10 minutes afterwards. He also still hated baths. And really anything relating to hygiene. Or naps. Or being burped. Oh, and he was also teething, and definitely had some unnaturally sharp little teeth. One time, Obito only turned his back for a minute, and when he looked back Naruto had gnawed divots into one of their couch’s wooden supports. Since then, he’d also shredded a very fancy feathered pillow that Kushina loved, and completely chewed through one of his blankets. 

He made a mental note to ask Kakashi how to deal with a teething puppy, because that seemed to be more closely aligned with what he was dealing with than normal toddler teething. 

“Stop wiggling, it’s really not that bad,” he sighed, trying to be as gentle as possible about manipulating Naruto’s stubby limbs into the sleeves of the onesie. 

Clearly, Naruto disagreed. He squealed and kicked his little legs, his face quickly turning red. 

Fortunately, they had a routine at this point. Obito would pick him up, soothe him the way his cousin had shown him, and Naruto usually calmed down. If that didn’t work, he could be easily distracted with food. At least, most of the time. Whether or not it was good parenting to use food as a distraction was questionable, but he was desperate. 

This was luckily one of those days where Naruto was receptive to the soothing, and quieted down within a few minutes. He still wiggled unhappily in his new onesie, but he at least seemed to become more occupied with trying to gnaw on Obito’s shirt rather than screaming his brains out. 

“Hey, don’t ruin this shirt, I like it!” Despite his protests, Obito barely made a move to stop Naruto from chewing on the fabric. It was a small price to pay for peace and quiet. “You already stained my favorite sweater with the diaper changing incident that will not be mentioned.” 

Naruto just looked up at him with his wide, innocent eyes. Fuck it, the kid could chew through as many shirts as he wanted. How was Obito supposed to deny him anything? 

With Naruto appropriately dressed, and a bag full of extra clothes, bottles, and toys slung over his other shoulder, they were ready to head out. He might have overpacked, but it was definitely better to be overprepared. 

They’d been out in the yard a few times, but this was the first time Obito was taking Naruto off the property. He felt antsy, holding Naruto close to him and carefully watching his surroundings for danger. Conversely, Naruto was just as curious and fearless as the day he’d come home. He gazed at everything in sight with wonder and curiosity. It was one of the few times he actually acted like a normal, healthy baby. 

Eventually, he planned to take Naruto to all of his favorite places around the village, but not today. Today was meant for something else. 

“There’s some really important people I want to introduce you to,” Obito told him, even though Naruto was obviously too young to understand. 

They didn’t run into anyone as Obito made the familiar trek to the Memorial Stone. He stopped a few times to let Naruto look at a particularly interesting plant or bug, since the poor kid had never had the chance to explore outside before. 

Naruto was quietly babbling at a low, ambient level that Obito was starting to learn meant he was content. Naruto didn’t know what the Memorial Stone represented, or whose names were on it. He was just enjoying being held and getting to experience the outdoors. 

Obito stopped in front of the Memorial Stone, taking a few moments to collect himself. This was an important moment. “Hey, Sensei, Kushina, Rin. This is Naruto.” 

He ignored the warning flare of chakra from the ever present ANBU guard, barely resisting the urge to flip them off. It wasn’t like he was stupid enough to go around blabbing about Naruto’s parentage in front of an entire ANBU squad! He’d already planned ahead on what to say, which he honestly thought was pretty impressive and showed a lot of personal growth because he never used to plan anything. 

Clearing his throat, Obito began telling Naruto his story. “Did you know me and Bakashi were on the same genin team, that we had the same sensei? That’s how we became friends.” He shifted Naruto in his arms so it was easier to look over at him without craning his neck. “Our sensei was super smart and super brave. You would have liked him, and he would have been really good at waiting out your tantrums. He was always so patient with our team, even when Bakashi was being a dick. I was always a perfect student, of course.” He chuckled to himself. “He was also kind of a dork, but most people don’t believe me when I tell them that. He had kind of a badass reputation, and he definitely deserved it, but he was also such a nerd sometimes.” 

Obito traced Minato-sensei’s name on the Memorial Stone, then dragged his finger downward to Kushina’s name. “Sensei was married to one of the toughest people I’ve ever known. She wouldn’t let anyone talk shit about her or anyone she cared about. And she was loud–but not in a bad way. The way she lived, and loved, was loud. Does that make sense?” Of course, Naruto didn’t answer, gnawing on his own curled fist. But his attention was fixed on the words Obito was saying, even if he didn’t understand them yet. “You’re a lot like her. Sometimes, when I look at you, I see her. It’s something you should definitely be proud of.” 

The last name he traced still made his chest tighten painfully. “Rin was our other teammate. She was so kind, and bright, and the best part of my life for a long time. She was my first real friend, and my only real friend for a while.” She had also been the first person to believe in him, and his dreams. No one else believed he could be Hokage, and would laugh or make fun of him, but never Rin. “She made me feel like I could do anything, like my stupid dreams were really attainable. I never told her how much that meant to me, how much she meant to me.” He sighed dejectedly. “I wanted to ask her out, but I kept chickening out. Maybe she would have said no, but I still wish I had done it. At least then I could have told her how I felt about her.” 

Wiping away tears, Obito laughed awkwardly. “Sorry, you’re a bit too young to understand that kind of stuff, I think.” He ruffled Naruto’s hair affectionately, receiving a pleased sounding stream of nonsensical babbling in return. “They all would have loved you, and I’m sorry you’re stuck with me and dumb Bakashi instead of them. But we’re gonna do our best to love you enough for the three of them, too.” 

Naruto seemed to notice the attention Obito was paying to the Memorial Stone in front of them. He reached out with a tiny hand, startling a bit when he felt the cool stone against his skin. He didn’t realize it, but he’d placed his stubby little fingers right over his mother’s name. The sight was enough to almost send Obito into a full on breakdown, but he held himself together so he could focus on Naruto. 

Obito waited until Naruto pulled his own hand away. It was probably impossible that a baby had any kind of understanding of what was happening, but Obito didn’t want to disturb the moment, just in case. 

Once Naruto’s attention was off the stone, Obito told him, “There’s one more thing we need to do for them.” 

Their next stop was to each of their graves, to pay their respects and leave flowers. He grew the flowers himself with Moukuton, from the ground beside each grave, though his technique still needed a lot of work. At least he was able to consistently grow something now. 

As promised, Kakashi had started giving him tips and trying to help him figure out how to use Moukuton more consistently than just when he was in a blind rage. At first, his efforts were useless. Obito couldn’t make even a single seedling or sprout. But, through a combination of his own persistence and Kakashi’s ingenuity, he’d started making a bit of progress. As a result, Sensei and Kushina’s home was now filled with potted plants that he practiced on whenever he had time. They were actually growing quite well, though Obito did end up getting rid of a few potentially toxic ones, because he saw Naruto eyeing all of them. Once Naruto became more mobile, his poor plants wouldn’t stand a chance. 

At each grave, Obito grew enough flowers to lay out a good looking bouquet. He also made sure the actual gravesites were tidy and well cared for. Unsurprisingly, Minato’s didn’t really need any attention, since he still got so many visitors. People stopped by to leave flowers and offerings very frequently for their fallen Kage. Kushina occasionally had flowers left for her too, and Obito was pretty sure most of them were from Mikoto Uchiha. And Rin’s family still came by to tend to her grave as well, but Obito still felt better after checking all of them. He tried to do this as often as he could without making himself feel too depressed. It was the least he could do for them.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t do the same for his grandmother or parents. Per clan traditions, they’d been cremated, so there weren’t any graves to tend to. Plus, all of the memorial sites for the Uchiha were within the walls of the Compound, which had been destroyed in the Kyuubi attack. And even if they hadn’t been, those sites were off limits to non-clan members unless they got special permission. Since Obito had officially left the clan as part of his plan to adopt Naruto, he wouldn’t be able to visit anyway. It wasn’t like anyone in the clan would give him permission, except maybe for Shisui. 

It was fine, he had his own personal memorials for his parents and grandmother. He didn’t remember much about his parents anyway, so it didn’t make much of a difference. 

Visiting the Memorial Stone and the graves always left him feeling understandably heavy. Having Naruto with him made it easier to cope, but it was still draining. Plus, cemeteries weren’t exactly uplifting places to begin with. Satisfied with the state of all the gravesites, Obito was more than ready to get the hell out of such a depressing place. 

“Come on,” he told Naruto, “let’s get out of here. We could walk through the park on our way home. How’s that sound?” 

Naruto blinked at him in response, then got distracted by a squirrel in a nearby tree. Obito decided to take that as an agreement to his proposal. 

On his way out, something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. It was the same path he always walked, but for whatever reason he happened to look back over his shoulder this time. That was how he noticed one particularly unkempt gravesite, overgrown with weeds, and even a little bit of debris. He didn’t know why he felt compelled to go check on it, because it certainly wasn’t the only grave that wasn’t tended to. Some of the gravesites were old, while others just didn’t have anyone left alive to care enough to visit them. There were D-ranks that were supposed to come through every so often and keep the area tidy, but either this one had been missed, or it had been a particularly long time since anyone had been through. 

Naruto seemed content enough, just enjoying spending time outside, so Obito gave into his curiosity and turned around to go check on the mysterious grave. When he got close enough to read the name, he was simultaneously glad for his impromptu decision, and also cursing his curiosity. 

This particular gravesite wasn’t just not tended to, it was vandalized. None of it looked new, but there were faded insults and curses painted and carved into the broken headstone, and no one had bothered to clean up the area. It was also obvious that no one had been to visit the grave in who knows how long. Actually, Obito could guess exactly how long. The last time anyone had been here for a visit had probably been when the person was buried. 

When Kakashi’s father was buried. This was the White Fang’s grave. Kakashi definitely hadn’t been to his father’s grave in years, or if he had, he didn’t bother to clean it up. 

Obito didn’t remember much about the White Fang, beyond the tragedy and what led up to it. He vaguely remembered him walking Kakashi to school, but he’d been too young and oblivious to really understand who the man was. Was it weird that he regretted not knowing Kakashi’s father? He meant it when he told Kakashi that he thought the White Fang was a hero, and it had nothing to do with his accomplishments as a shinobi. His sacrifice represented everything Obito believed in, even if the village hated him for it. 

Even if Kakashi hated him for it. 

Kakashi never talked about his father, so Obito had no idea if he still felt that way. In the past, he’d made his feelings about his father’s choices known to everyone. But since Kannabi Bridge, he’d been…different. More willing to bend the rules. More reliable as a friend or comrade, and not just as a shinobi on a mission. 

He also hadn’t spoken about his father at all since Obito had been back. Not that he was particularly chatty about that subject before, but he used to at least try to make a point of actively distancing himself from his father’s legacy as much as possible. So did that mean he’d changed his mind about his father’s actions? 

Kakashi had told Obito that things were different, that he’d never abandon a comrade again. And Obito believed him. Kakashi was many things, but he wasn’t a liar. If he said he was going to do something, he’d do it. So maybe, just maybe, he no longer saw his father the way the rest of the village did.

Even though he didn’t know Kakashi’s father, Obito thought the man would be proud of the person his son was becoming. Maybe that was what drove him to start compulsively yanking ivy off the headstone, and to summon a clone to pluck all the weeds out by hand. Too bad he hadn’t figured out how to do that with Moukuton yet. 

He didn’t have anything to clean the headstone with, but the area at least looked better once the overgrowth was taken care of. He also grew some flowers to place on the grave, just like he had for Sensei, Kushina, and Rin. Obito didn’t know if Kakashi would be pissed at him if he found out, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Everyone in the village tried so hard to pretend the White Fang never existed, so Obito felt like he should at least acknowledge the man’s legacy. It just felt wrong to see the grave of Kakashi’s father in such a sorry state. 

“Uh, hi,” he said awkwardly to the grave. “I don’t think we ever met before, but I figured I should introduce myself since Kakashi and I are, um, close. Close-ish. I mean, we spend a lot of time together and he’s kind of my best friend so…” More than kind of, actually, but it still felt really weird to say out loud. “I don’t know if cleaning up your grave is what you wanted but I promise my intentions were good so please don’t haunt me!” He glanced around nervously, as if some kind of specter was going to appear. “Anyway. I don’t really know what to say to you, since I never met you when you were alive. I guess I should introduce Naruto–ugh you probably know who he is if you’re in the afterlife with–” He caught himself before he accidentally said something out loud that he wasn’t supposed to. “...with everyone. At least, I hope you are. I think Kakashi would want you to be with them, even if he’d never admit it,” he rambled at the silent grave. 

“I don’t know if Kakashi ever talks to you about what’s going on, or if you just know so I guess I can give you an update.” He ignored how crazy he must look right now, rambling on to a dirty headstone. “Kakashi is doing ok, I think. I mean he has good days and bad days…” 

He couldn’t help but think about the haunted look he still saw on Kakashi’s face sometimes when he thought Obito wasn’t looking, or how the village still whispered “friend-killer” behind his back. 

“Some days are really bad,” Obito admitted with a heavy sigh. “But I think you’d be proud of the person he’s becoming. He’s still kind of a dick, no offense, but way less than he used to be. I think I’m finally getting through to him,” he laughed nervously. “But um, I just thought you’d want to know. I’m looking out for him, I promise. He’s not alone.” Unsure of what else to do, he patted the top of the headstone awkwardly. “Uh, good talk.” 

It was all he could do, for now. Even though he never knew the man in life, he still felt compelled to ask around later about how to replace or mend a headstone. He didn’t know if Kakashi knew what his father’s grave had looked like, but he kind of hoped he didn’t. Maybe, if Obito was sneaky about it, he could fix it without Kakashi ever knowing how bad it looked. If Kakashi someday decided he wanted to come visit his father, hopefully he could be spared from ever knowing how the village had let the White Fang’s final resting place fall into such disrepair. 

Until that day came, he decided he wouldn’t tell Kakashi what he’d found, and he definitely wouldn’t mention that he’d visited the grave at all. It seemed kinder to spare his friend from that kind of pain. 

And if he decided to make visiting the White Fang’s grave a regular occurrence, Kakashi never had to know. 

 —--------------------------------

Taking care of Naruto didn’t necessarily get easier, but once Kakashi came back for his mission, all three of them at least started settling into a routine. Kakashi was in and out on ANBU missions, but when he was there, he at least tried to pull his own weight. 

There were times when he’d come home with a blank, dull expression on his face and blood under his fingernails that he couldn’t seem to wash out. On those days, Obito could barely get Kakashi to eat or sleep, let alone get him to help care for an infant. 

He felt like a damn housewife, on occasion. Not that there was anything wrong with being a housewife, of course! It just wasn’t exactly a direction he ever pictured his life going. And yet, here he was, balancing a baby on his hip while he tried to put together a remotely edible dinner for himself and his friend/roommate/sort of co-guardian. 

Kakashi had just arrived home from his most recent mission and Obito was definitely not jealous that it was more than a simple D-rank. Because he’d totally had some pretty cool missions of his own lately. Absolutely. Not all D-ranks sucked! Though technically, his clones had them. He wasn’t ready to leave Naruto with anyone, so he picked a handful of D-ranks that he could get paid for but would be unlikely to be dangerous enough to poof a stand-in clone. Gardening, weeding, signposting, those sorts of things. 

There had been one pretty high stakes mission where a paint bucket fell on his clone and poofed it, leading the poor elderly woman that employed him to think that she’d killed him. He had to rush over with a cranky infant in his arms to assure the woman that he was perfectly fine and could finish helping her paint her fence. The mission coordinator refused to pay him for that one, because of the trouble he’d caused, but the old woman was at least nice enough to offer him some delicious cookies in exchange for his time. 

So yeah, definitely some good drama. Totally on par with whatever stupid ANBU missions Kakashi must be taking. Honestly, probably better. 

Still, Kakashi’s missions more frequently involved him showing up covered in various grime and bodily fluids. This time around, Obito basically shoved Kakashi into the still cold shower with all his clothes on when he walked in the door covered in a frankly horrifying amount of gore. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if he hadn’t tried to pick up Naruto before getting cleaned up. Obito had to put his foot down because a baby’s immune system was still developing and Kakashi was being downright unhygienic. 

“Ok,” he murmured to himself over the pot of boiling goop that was supposed to be their dinner, “now we add a teaspoon of salt. Hm, should we add more? I do like my food to be pretty salty.” Naruto gurgled something unintelligible in response. “Ah, you’re right. Too much sodium isn’t good for you. I’m sure it’s fine the way it is.” 

He took a spoonful, holding it up to let it cool a bit. Naruto gurgled again and made grabby-hands at the spoon, so Obito relented and let the kid taste it first once it was no longer piping hot. The moment he tasted it, his little face scrunched up and turned his head away in obvious disgust. 

“Come on, it can’t be that bad!” Sure, he wasn’t a particularly good cook, but it was a simple recipe. He couldn’t have messed it up that badly, could he? To prove a point, he took a second spoonful and tasted it. Immediately, he gagged and filled a glass of water to try to wash out the horrible taste. 

There was a quiet huff of laughter from the doorway to the kitchen. Obito glared at Kakashi over the rim of his water glass, before setting it down on the counter with a quiet thunk. 

Kakashi was leaning against the archway, his arms crossed casually. He looked a little less like death after his shower, but there were still heavy bags under his eyes. A few droplets of water dripped off his damp hair and onto the floor. He’d also changed into a set of dark, casual lounge clothes, completely forgoing his face mask as was typical for him now. 

Obito wondered if it would ever stop being so jarring to see Kakashi looking so casual, and especially seeing his whole face. 

“That doesn’t bode well for dinner,” Kakashi teased, pushing off the wall with a barely suppressed wince. 

Obito ignored the jab at his cooking. “Are you hurt?” He frowned in concern, noticing the slight hitch in his friend’s movements. 

Kakashi shrugged, looking unbothered, but Obito could see a handful of nasty bruises on his arms. “It’s nothing serious.” He shuffled up beside Obito, looking down worriedly at the mess of dinner on the stove. “What kind of stir-fry is that?” 

“...it’s stew.” 

“It’s a wonder you survive when I’m gone,” Kakashi chastised. He held his arms out expectantly, and Obito handed Naruto over to him. 

Naruto was definitely starting to recognize them, and made a pleased noise as Kakashi settled him in his arms. He still hadn’t smiled at them, but it looked like he was getting close. He was at least less temperamental and more interested in interacting with them without screaming too, which was a definite plus for their sanity. 

“In my defense,” Obito sighed, turning off the burner as he gave up on the meager attempt at dinner, “Naruto eats premade formula and mush. And I don’t technically have to eat so…” 

Kakashi just hummed in response, looking over Naruto critically. “He looks better. Healthier.” 

“I think so too. And he’s stopped eating like he’s expecting to not get more food,” Obito replied. “Although, it’s a bit hard to tell because Kushina kind of ate like that normally, and I’m pretty sure Naruto inherited her appetite in addition to her lung capacity.” 

Despite the obvious exhaustion, the comment drew a small smile from Kakashi. It was a motion that likely would have gone unnoticed behind his mask. “Well, either way, you’re doing a good job.” 

“ We’re doing a good job,” Obito corrected him. 

“I don’t think I’m doing much,” Kakashi argued. “I’m not here that often.” 

It was true, Kakashi went on a lot of missions, but it wasn’t like they hadn’t anticipated it. “Eh, you’re here as much as you can be. And look,” he gestured toward Naruto, who was cheerfully trying to pull on Kakashi’s hair, “the little punk obviously likes you, so you must be doing something right.” 

“Uh-oh. ‘Little punk’? What did he do?” 

“He threw up in my shirt. In it!” Obito shuddered as he recalled that particularly awful memory. “It dripped all the way down my neck and chest, it was disgusting!” 

“I told you to keep a rag on your shoulder,” Kakashi responded, not bothering to hide his amused chuckles. 

“I normally do, I just forgot that one time!” 

Naruto made another happy gurgling sound in response to the teasing between the two of them. Not quite laughter, but something close. He liked when they ribbed each other a bit, and seemed to want to join in but didn’t quite know how. It seemed like Naruto really hadn’t had the chance to smile or laugh at the orphanage, or maybe the neglect he’d suffered had taken more of a toll on his psyche than they knew. Obito wasn’t sure. Whenever he met with the Hokage he relayed his concerns, and the old man assured him he would “look into it”, but that didn’t help Naruto now. He hoped that the people who had let Naruto suffer would be punished appropriately, but mostly he just wanted to make sure the kid was ok. 

The Sandaime finally approved a med nin to look Naruto over, and she’d confirmed their concerns about his malnutrition and stunting, but she’d told them that infant psychology wasn’t really her area of expertise. When he tried to find a med nin who actually specialized in that particular area, he couldn’t get approval for any of them to look at Naruto. With the list of stipulations that the Hokage and the Council gave him, the only person that could even conceivably meet their requirements would be the legendary Tsunade Senju herself, and that was obviously out of the question. The woman hadn’t set foot in the village in years, and had been very adamant about not breaking that particular streak. 

“So,” Kakashi broke him out of his thoughts, “looks like we need an alternative arrangement for dinner, then?” He reached over and put a lid on the pot before Obito could answer. Fair enough, the monstrosity on the stove didn’t seem particularly edible. 

“Yeah…” Obito agreed. 

They both cleaned up the mess in the kitchen while one of Kakashi’s clones was sent to pick up some takeout. The food arrived just as they finished scrubbing the last dirty dish. The smell was instantly recognizable. 

“Is that Ichiraku?” Obito asked, surprised. “I didn’t think you actually liked ramen.”

“Everyone likes ramen,” Kakashi responded easily, still holding Naruto with one arm. 

Frowning, Obito continued, “Then why did you always bail when we tried to get you to eat there with us?” 

Without missing a beat, Kakashi responded, “Because you annoyed me.”

“You asshole–” 

Kakashi didn’t let him continue the insult. “And because I took you all for granted. Deep down, I always knew that the invitation would be open no matter how much I pushed you all away, and I appreciated that more than I ever let myself admit.” He pointedly didn’t make eye contact during the admission, sorting through the bags of delicious smelling takeout instead. “It–it meant a lot to me that you kept asking, even if I hardly ever accepted. I didn’t want to care about you–about any of you–but I’m–” He inhaled shakily, still avoiding eye contact. “I’m glad you kept giving me more chances. And I’m sorry I never did anything to deserve them.” 

Well, that was a surprisingly vulnerable admission from a simple question. Obito wasn’t entirely sure what to say, because he certainly hadn’t expected something so deep and heartfelt in response. 

He chuckled nervously, handing over a pair of bowls for Kakashi to dish out the food. “Jeez, Bakashi, I didn’t ask for your life story, I just asked if you liked ramen.” Before Kakashi could say something sarcastic or mean-spirited in response, Obito bumped their shoulders together affectionately. “Don’t stress about it. It’s all in the past. Lucky for you, I am very merciful and forgiving.” He grinned. “But I’m glad you’re finally recognizing what a little prick you used to be. Still are, sometimes, if I’m being honest.” 

The fingers on Kakashi’s free hand twitched, like he wanted to toss a kunai or maybe some lightning, but he didn’t act on the impulse since he was holding Naruto. “And you’re still annoying as ever, by the way.” 

“Excuse you, I’m a fucking delight.” 

Kakashi was completely unimpressed. “Keep telling yourself that,” he said. “Also, quit swearing in front of the baby. You’ll teach him bad habits.” 

“Oh come on, he’s too young to understand what I’m saying.” He waved a hand flippantly. 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Kakashi warned, shrugging nonchalantly. 

They sat down for dinner, and placed a bowl of mushy baby food in front of Naruto that they took turns spoon feeding him. It definitely looked less appetizing than the delicious, warm bowls of ramen that they dug into. 

The first bite tasted like heaven, and definitely some nostalgia. After slurping down a few noodles, Obito sighed, “I don’t think I’ve had Ichiraku since Kushina died. I just couldn’t even think about it without her around.” 

“Neither have I,” Kakashi replied. “I knew they reopened a few weeks ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to go.” 

“I think she’d be disappointed in us for not being there on their opening day,” Obito joked. 

Kakashi smiled sadly in response. “Mhm. She would have dragged us there by our ears and given us a speech about ‘supporting local businesses.’ As if we didn’t know that was just an excuse to get her ramen fix.” 

Obito failed to suppress a snort of laughter. “I’m pretty sure she would have single-handedly funded their rebuilding. And I wouldn’t be surprised if she convinced Minato-sensei to abuse his power as Hokage to fundraise for them or something.” 

“What a headline that would be,” Kakashi chuckled, continuing the bit. “‘Konoha’s Infamous Yellow Flash Involved in Ramen-Related Scandal.’ More on page six.” 

It was still weird to hear Kakashi making jokes, but he definitely didn’t hate it. “Heh, I guess you could say that Sensei would be in hot water. ” He laughed heartily at his own joke. “Get it, because broth is hot–” 

“It’s not funny if you explain it.” Kakashi rolled his singularly visible eye. 

“Nah, it’s still funny,” Obito disagreed. 

Despite discussing a topic that normally made them both quiet and depressed, the mood remained surprisingly light. It was getting easier to make jokes like this about the people they’d lost, and to think of them fondly without feeling like bursting into tears. At least on some days. Other days still hurt too much. Rin especially was still too much of a sore topic to discuss on most days. Whenever her name came up, Kakashi looked at him like he expected Obito to eviscerate him on the spot for his role in her death. As if he hadn’t explained multiple times that he didn’t blame Kakashi for what happened. 

Naruto made a few pleased, content noises as they laughed and joked. He also liked when they were happy, which was so much like his dad. Sensei used to look so thrilled on the rare occasions when Team 7 was actually getting along. When the four of them would sit down together and Kakashi and Obito wouldn’t fight, or they could make it through training or even just dinner without being at each other’s throats. It was a low standard, but they hadn’t exactly made it easy on him. 

With Naruto being a normally voracious eater, both he and Kakashi noticed when the baby started losing interest in his spoonfuls of mush. It was so out of character for him that Obito reached over to feel his forehead and make sure it didn’t seem like he had a fever. Naruto didn’t feel warm, and he seemed to enjoy the contact as much as he normally did, but he still didn’t want to take the spoonful of food that he was offered. 

“Oh,” Kakashi said in realization. “I think he wants our food.” 

Sure enough, Naruto’s attention was fixated on the steaming, hearty bowls of ramen on the table. Must be those Uzumaki genes shining through. 

“Is that safe?” Obito tried to recall the books he’d read about child development, and what kind of foods they could eat at this age. 

“His stomach’s been more settled,” Kakashi reasoned, “and he’s been eating solid foods for a while so I don’t think a little would hurt as long as we don’t overdo it.”

“Ok, I’ll get him a spoonful with some broth and noodles.” They’d have to let it cool for a bit first. “I feel like this is a historic moment,” Obito chuckled. “Baby’s first ramen. I bet Kushina is watching.”

Kakashi didn’t verbally reply, maybe starting to feel a little too overwhelmed with the remembrance. He definitely grieved differently than Obito, who preferred to scream at the world for being unfair. Conversely, Kakashi tended to retreat inward when he felt overwhelmed by their losses, becoming more stoic and silent. 

By the time the spoonful was cool enough for Naruto to eat, he was making grabby-hands and whining. “Don’t be a spoiled brat,” Obito chided, but he didn’t actually mean it. As far as he was concerned, Naruto could act as spoiled as he wanted. He deserved to be pampered and spoiled after everything he’d been through. 

The moment Naruto tasted the spoonful, his entire face lit up. He slurped down the broth and noodles immediately, his stubby little hands grabbing at the spoon as if looking for more. He started babbling, looking absolutely delighted. And then, for the first time since they’d brought him home, he actually smiled. 

“That’s not fair!” Obito whined. “I’ve been trying so hard to get him to smile, and he finally does it for a bowl of ramen ?” Despite his protests, he did scoop up another spoonful for Naruto. If ramen really made the kid happy, he’d fill an entire bathtub with it to get him to keep smiling like that. 

“Well, he is Kushina’s son,” Kakashi reasoned, unable to suppress his own warm expression at the sight. 

All of Naruto’s delayed developmental milestones had been worrisome, but Obito had been particularly troubled by the lack of smiling. It was possible Naruto had smiled before they got him, but it didn’t seem very likely given the level of neglect he’d experienced at the orphanage. There was just something about seeing the child of two of the most cheerful, loudly affectionate people that he knew not even show the most basic expression of human happiness that really made his heart hurt. 

So yes, he was thrilled to see Naruto looking so happy, but he was also pissed that he hadn’t been the one to make Naruto finally smile for them! He’d worked so hard! Making silly, ridiculous faces that had even boring Kakashi unable to hold back a laugh or two. Giving all of Naruto’s toys funny voices and acting out award worthy dramas with them. Singing, dancing, and playing an ungodly amount of peek-a-boo, none of it had worked. 

Apparently his approach had been all wrong. He knew that Naruto at least liked them, and was pleased to see them and interact with them, but neither of them had managed to make him look this happy and content. Naruto took the second spoonful and made a pleased noise that they’d never heard from him before. 

“How bad would it be if I just fed him ramen every day?” Obito asked, only half joking. 

“That’s not exactly a balanced diet,” Kakashi reasoned. He looked pointedly at the third spoonful that Obito was letting cool. 

“I put a little bit of vegetables on this one,” he countered. Only very small pieces that could be safely swallowed, but still. 

Kakashi just shook his head, looking equally exasperated and fond. He might pretend to be unaffected, but Obito could tell he was just as relieved and excited about Naruto’s development. Being the emotionally stunted bastard that he was, Kakashi was still kind of weird about letting Obito see him act soft or affectionate with Naruto. He obviously cared, and Obito knew they had their own quiet moments together, but he wouldn’t play loud games or make silly faces like Obito would. Maybe he did when it was just him and Naruto, but he definitely never let Obito see him like that. Meanwhile, Obito had no problem acting like a fool in front of Kakashi if it got Naruto’s attention or affection. 

Still, there was an obvious gentleness that Kakashi showed toward Naruto that Obito never imagined he’d see from his stoic friend. The way his whole demeanor softened, smoothing out his perpetual scowl and brightening his visible eye. If Obito was being honest, it suited Kakashi far more than the typical cold arrogance he’d become known for.

Chapter Text

After just a month or two of proper care, Naruto was already looking more like the happy, healthy baby he was supposed to be, and he was finally catching up on his previously delayed milestones. It was a drastic turnaround, perhaps even a bit too drastic. It took an embarrassingly long time to realize that it was probably because Naruto was a jinchuuriki, and it wasn’t just because of their own efforts that they were seeing such a notable change. Jinchuuriki were notoriously hardy, and very fast healers. 

It was a relief, in some ways, to realize how quickly Naruto could come back from the neglect he’d experienced. In other ways, it was horrifying, because it meant that things could have been worse than they thought and Naruto’s natural jinchuuriki abilities just covered it up.  

Whatever the reason, Naruto was improving by leaps and bounds. He still wasn’t quite where he should be, but it was a marked improvement. It was enough that he and Kakashi decided it was time for Naruto to experience some other important milestones. Or rather, Kakashi decided. 

“Are you sure it’ll be safe?” Obito asked for the umpteenth time. 

Kakashi looked as unimpressed as usual. “As I’ve told you many times, yes . There’s no reason that it wouldn’t be.” 

“It’s just,” Obito continued, “I’ve heard horror stories about dogs turning on babies out of nowhere. What if they bite his face off or something? Or what if he’s allergic? Or what if he gets a parasite from them? Dogs can carry diseases!” 

“They’re not dogs, they’re ninken,” Kakashi reminded him. 

Unconvinced, Obito grumbled, “They’re still dogs.” 

Kakashi ignored him. “And for the record, dogs don’t just turn on people out of nowhere. People just don’t understand how to read basic body language. Also,” he added sharply, “they’re ninken . They’re not dirty, and they’re just as intelligent as any human.” He tilted his head in consideration. “More intelligent than some humans,” Kakashi added rudely, giving Obito a pointed look. 

“First of all, fuck you.” Obito crossed his arms indignantly. “Second, my concerns are completely reasonable!” 

“No, your concerns are stupid,” Kakashi disagreed. “And I told you to stop swearing in front of him.” He gestured toward Naruto, who was sitting on a blanket and happily babbling and gnawing on a teething ring.

“And I told you that he’s too young to understand, so it doesn’t matter!” Obito argued. 

“You are the most ridiculous, stubborn idiot I’ve ever met,” Kakashi said wearily. 

In response, Obito scoffed, “And you’re the biggest jerkface bastard I’ve ever met but I put up with you anyway.” His fingers twitched anxiously as he considered his next words. “...you really think it’ll be fine?” 

The flat, unimpressed look remained. “Yes, it will be fine,” Kakashi insisted. “The pack wants to meet him. They like puppies.” 

“Puppies,” Obito repeated, incredulous. 

“Puppies,” Kakashi said again. “When did you become such a worrier, anyway? You’ve always been the first one to run straight into danger, even when your team told you not to.” 

“It’s different,” Obito insisted, “because it’s about Naruto, and not me. I won’t put him in danger. Ever.” 

Kakashi chuckled lightly. “Oh, I know.” 

Frowning, Obito responded, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You put locks on all the cabinets and drawers,” Kakashi reminded him 

“Yeah? That’s standard baby proofing,” Obito argued. 

“The low ones, sure,” Kakashi continued, still laughing quietly, “but you also locked the ones that Naruto won’t be able to reach for years .” 

Obito argued, “I’m just being prepared.” 

“Right. And throwing away all the kitchen knives?” 

“A reasonable precaution,” Obito argued. “What if he impaled himself on one?” 

“You mean, what if he climbed up on the counter, unlocked the drawer, took off all the knife guards, and then fell in, all before even being able to crawl?” Kakashi rolled his visible eye. “Yeah, I guess that would be a problem.” 

“Fuck you, it could happen!” 

Naruto giggled in response to their petty argument. Kakashi reached over and ruffled his hair affectionately. “And how about blunting all my kunai?” 

“They’re dangerous weapons!” Obito insisted. “They’re literally meant for killing people, why wouldn’t I blunt them?” 

“Mhm. And covering the furniture in bubble wrap?”

Obito scoffed, “I only covered the sharp corners and edges. Very reasonable.” 

Kakashi remained unimpressed. “Uh huh. And the ice you dumped into my morning tea last week?” 

“What if you spilled? You could have burned Naruto!” 

“He wasn’t even in the room.” 

Scowling, Obito snapped, “Do you have a point, or are you just making fun of me?” 

“Oh, definitely the latter,” Kakashi smirked. 

“Asshole,” Obito grumbled. “Just summon your stupid dogs already.” 

Kakashi did just that, summoning his pack of ninken in a puff of smoke that had Naruto gasping in surprise. The baby looked overwhelmed by the pack’s sudden appearance, gaping at all of them in shocked silence. None of Kakashi’s ninken moved, looking between their summoner, Obito, and Naruto with a mix of curiosity and caution. 

And then, Naruto’s entire expression split into an excited grin, and he let out a squeal of delight. That was all it took for the pack to descend on him in a flurry of wagging tails and lolling tongues. 

“Hey, hey!” Pakkun barked, catching the attention of the other ninken. “Take it easy, human pups are fragile at this age!” He shook his head, gesturing with a paw as if to say, “can you believe them?” 

Fortunately, the pack listened to Pakkun, and approached Naruto with much more caution. Obito was still ready to jump in at a moment’s notice, but Naruto clearly wasn’t bothered. He was giggling and grabbing at each of the ninken in turn, babbling something cheerful and incoherent. The dogs took turns nudging him and licking his face, and a couple even carried over some toys to deposit in his lap. Naruto looked like he was in absolute heaven. It seemed like now that he had figured out how to smile and laugh, it was all he wanted to do. And it suited him. 

Obito realized he’d been right all those months ago when he had the thought that Naruto would be adorable snuggling Kakashi’s ninken. 

Pakkun was the last to approach, immediately laying his head down on Naruto’s lap. His little tail thumped happily against the ground. Naruto hugged the ninken as tightly as his stubby arms would allow. Pakkun was too dignified to lick the kid’s face, but his tail did wag faster in response. And once Pakkun settled, the rest of the pack followed, curling up in a literal dogpile as close to Naruto as they possibly could. 

“Told you they liked puppies,” Kakashi said smugly. 

“It’s about time you let us meet him, boss!” Pakkun barked, not moving his head even an inch from where it was resting in Naruto’s lap. 

“It’s his fault.” Kakashi jabbed a thumb in Obito’s direction. 

In response, Pakkun let out a low, irritated growl and narrowed his eyes at Obito. “You’re lucky I don’t pee in your shoes for making us wait.” 

“Come on, I was just being cautious!” Obito insisted. “He’s so tiny, I didn’t want anything to happen to him.” 

Pakkun didn’t reply this time, too preoccupied with trying to keep Naruto from pulling on his ears. But he didn’t look bothered. In fact, he looked enamored. All of them did. Apparently Kakashi was right; his pack did love puppies. 

“He’s one of ours now,” Pakkun announced, the other ninken woofing in agreement. “That means we won’t ever let anything happen to him.” 

All of his remaining worries about the situation melted away, to the point that he felt stupid for worrying at all. “Maybe I’m getting a bit paranoid,” Obito admitted. 

“Probably,” Kakashi agreed, “but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. It just means you care.” 

“Ugh, stop being so nice to me, it’s weird and gross,” Obito replied, making an exaggerated gagging noise. 

“I’m always nice to you,” Kakashi lied. 

Obito audibly snorted in response. “Yeah, right.” A random thought occurred to him, one that had him slapping his hand over his mouth to keep himself from bursting into laughter. “Hey. Quick question, Bakashi,” he snickered from behind his hand.  

Kakashi frowned at him. “I don’t like your tone.” 

Obito ignored him. “I was just wondering how you knew your pack liked ‘puppies’ so much. Did you ever snuggle with them like this?” 

“What? Why would you ask something like that?” Kakashi’s frown deepened. 

“Because the mental image of you and a bunch of dogs in a cuddle pile is absolutely adorable and I want to know if it’s real,” Obito teased. 

“Of course not,” Kakashi snapped. “They’re ninken , not pets. I would never use them for something so trivial and–” 

“That’s definitely not true,” Pakkun interjected, his tail wagging. “The boss used to love to summon us just for some snuggle time. Now he thinks he’s too old for it.” The rest of the pack whined in agreement. 

The look Kakashi shot his ninken was absolutely deadly. “Traitors.” 

Pakkun just wagged his tail harder. “Aw come on, boss, we miss those days! You used to summon us to play or cuddle all the time, and now you just summon us to work. I can’t remember the last time we got to play fetch!” There were more woofs of agreement. 

Kakashi’s expression shifted completely to a mixture of surprise and guilt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. I’ll try to do better.” 

One of the ninken–Bull, he was pretty sure–padded over and started licking at Kakashi’s hand. Kakashi responded by reaching out to scratch him behind the ears. The ninken panted happily, leaning into the contact. It seemed to be the canine version of, “no hard feelings”. 

“Even your damn dogs think you work too hard,” Obito said cheekily. 

Kakashi kicked his shin in response. “And here I was going to be nice and offer to let you add your name to the summoning scroll.” 

For a moment, Obito thought he’d misheard. “What? You were serious about that?” 

“Did you think I wasn’t?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow expectantly. 

“I mean, yeah, kind of,” Obito admitted. 

“Well, I was,” Kakashi responded haughtily. “If the idea bothers you that much, then don’t do it.” 

Obito shook his head. “No, no that’s not it. It’d be super cool to have a summoning contract!” Many of his kin did, but those contracts were generally passed down between direct family members. Obito didn’t have anyone to do that for him. 

Kakashi shot an irritated glare in Obito’s direction. “Then what’s the problem?” 

“It’s just–are you sure? That seems kind of personal.” 

Shrugging, Kakashi replied, “I told you it was an option when I officially integrated you into the clan. It’s not that big of a deal.” 

It was obvious that Kakashi was downplaying the significance of the offer. His pack was one of the few ties he had left to his family and his clan. 

“Of course,” Kakashi added, “the pack needs to agree to it too.” He gestured toward the pile of sleepy ninken, who all looked up at Obito expectantly. 

“Uh, alright. Is that ok with you all?” he asked nervously. None of the ninken immediately responded, looking toward Pakkun to speak for them. 

Pakkun tilted his head, considering. “Hm, I don’t know. I think you need to prove yourself first.” The sound of tails thumping on the ground indicated the rest of the pack’s agreement. 

Obito looked to Kakashi for help, but the bastard just shrugged and turned away. He wondered if Kakashi had needed to prove himself too, or if it was just because Obito was an outsider. 

“Ok,” Obito relented, “so what do I need to do?”

“I’d say,” Pakkun woofed, “The Trial of 10,000 Belly Rubs.” He rolled over on his back, and the other ninken quickly followed suit.

Obito looked at Kakashi again, trying to gauge if the ninken was serious. Kakashi gestured toward the pack and told him, “Well, you better get started.” 

As it turned out, Pakkun was completely serious. And very good at counting. By the end of the day, Obito’s fingers were a little achy, but the pack let him add his name to the summoning scroll. 

—--------------------------------

The next important milestone came in the form of a green whirlwind at their door a few days later. They’d decided it was time to start introducing Naruto to more people, but they didn’t exactly have a long list of close friends or family to invite over. Kakashi didn’t really have any other friends, and Obito had been purposefully avoiding their classmates since the last disastrous interaction. Well, except for–

“My friends, I am so honored you have invited me to your home for such a momentous occasion!” Gai grinned widely as Kakashi stepped aside so he could enter. “Please accept this gift as a token of appreciation and affection!” He shoved a wrapped parcel into Kakashi’s arms. 

Kakashi closed the door and turned to glare at Obito, silently conveying the question, “why the hell are we doing this again?” 

Obito responded with his own glare that meant, “don’t be an asshole.” He got an eye roll in response. 

Fortunately, Gai was unaware of the silent conversation between them. His gaze immediately fell on the little blond baby Obito was holding. His already bright smile turned blinding as he strode across the room to officially meet the late-Yondaime’s son. Naruto looked completely awe-struck, staring at Gai with wide eyes. He wasn’t used to this kind of energy or presence in their home. 

Surprisingly, Gai did tone it down a bit as he approached Naruto. “Hello there, little one,” he said as quietly as he could manage (which still wasn’t all that quiet). “I am most pleased to make your acquaintance.” 

Naruto made a questioning noise, and then started making grabby hands at their guest. He was still a bit confused about the new person in the house, but not acting even a little bit afraid. As soon as Naruto was old enough to understand, Obito made a mental note to talk about “stranger danger”. If he wasn’t weirded out by Gai, he probably wouldn’t be bothered by anyone. 

“He wants you to hold him,” Obito explained. “But you don’t have to–” 

“I would love to!” Gai announced, his volume increasing again. 

“Alright,” he relented, “but don’t feel bad if he starts crying or fussing. It took him a while to feel comfortable with the two of us.” 

Reluctantly, Obito handed Naruto over. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Gai, it was just kind of a big step to let someone besides him and Kakashi hold Naruto. It definitely took him a few seconds to actually convince himself to let go and step back. 

Conversely, Naruto wasn’t the least bit apprehensive. He started babbling happily, enthralled with the new person in the room. He seemed to enjoy all of Gai’s energy and enthusiasm. Gai spun him around a bit, and Naruto giggled wildly in response. Obito suddenly had the horrifying mental image of his precious (sort of) little brother wearing a matching hideous green jumpsuit. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

“What have we done?” Obito whispered to Kakashi, who just laughed quietly in response. 

“This was your idea,” Kakashi reminded him. “At least he’s not afraid of new people,” he added. 

Considering his previous neglect, it had been a serious concern for both of them. Naruto ended up warming to the two of them just fine, but it had been a rocky start. He’d never acted outright afraid of them or anything, but the trust hadn’t exactly been instantaneous. Actually, the fact that the introduction with a new person was going so well kind of made Obito irrationally jealous. 

“It took so long for him to open up to us, I can’t believe how outgoing he’s being,” Obito commented, unable to disguise the whininess in his voice. 

Kakashi picked up on his tone instantly. “The circumstances were different. Quit acting like a jealous child, this is a good thing. He’s just excited about meeting someone new, it’s not like he’s going to suddenly forget you.” 

He knew he was just being stupid, but he was genuinely annoyed by the idea of Naruto liking someone better than him and Kakashi. They were the ones raising him! They changed his diapers and played with him and snuggled him. It wasn’t like he wanted Naruto to be stunted or socially awkward or anything, but–

“Oh,” Gai commented, pausing the game he’d started as Naruto started to fuss a bit. “It would appear that young Naruto would prefer to return to the company of his wonderfully attentive caretakers.” 

Sure enough, Naruto whined a bit and looked back at Obito, reaching out a stubby little hand. That was the only prompting he needed to take Naruto back into his arms, feeling a ridiculous sense of relief at having the kid back with him. He also felt just a tiny bit smug about Naruto choosing him over the others in the room. 

Kakashi just gave him a knowing look. “See? I told you so.” 

“Shut up, asshole.” 

“I told you to stop swearing in front of him,” Kakashi chided. It was a near constant argument between them, considering Obito’s complete lack of a brain-to-mouth filter. “He’ll be able to repeat what you say before you know it, and you’ll regret having such a bad habit.” 

Obito just waved him off, as he normally did. “Eh, I’ll stop long before then. It’ll be fine.” 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Kakashi shrugged. 

Obito ignored Kakashi’s unwanted advice, turning back to face Gai. “Thanks for coming by to meet him. Are you still ok with us calling you if we need a babysitter?” It hadn’t come up yet, but Obito did plan to start taking real missions eventually. It was in their best interests to have someone else (Council approved, of course) that they could rely on to keep an eye on Naruto in a pinch. 

He and Kakashi would try to work out opposite schedules so at least one of them could be in the village with Naruto, but ANBU especially had unpredictable hours. He could be called out on a super dangerous, super secret long term mission at any time. And Obito wasn’t the least bit jealous of that fact, nope not at all. 

Grinning, Gai responded, “Of course, it would be my honor! It means the world to me that you would trust me with this precious little bundle of youthful energy.” He sniffled, genuinely tearing up a bit. 

“Uh, you’re welcome?” Obito was pretty sure Gai was doing them a favor by agreeing to babysit, but you wouldn’t guess that based on how excited Gai was acting. 

When he glanced over at Kakashi for some kind of guidance, he just received a shrug in return. Then, his eye fell onto the wrapped gift that Kakashi was still holding. Obito was honestly impressed at Kakashi’s patience and restraint, because he would have definitely torn into it by now. 

Kakashi saw him eyeing the present and scoffed, “It’s obviously for Naruto, don’t even think about it.” 

“Oh come on,” Obito whined, “he’s too young to appreciate gifts, I should totally open it for him!” 

“Don’t be rude,” Kakashi hissed, but Gai didn’t seem the least bit offended. 

Still sniffling, Gai said, “Go right ahead and open it!” 

That was all the prompting Obito needed to try to grab the present out of Kakashi’s hands. Unfortunately, Kakashi and his stupid ANBU-level reflexes deflected easily, knocking Obito’s hands away and then holding the parcel just out of Obito’s reach. Obito tried to swipe it again, but Kakashi side-stepped and started tearing the wrapping paper off. The stupid jerk was just being petty because he knew Obito wanted to open it. 

But he did let Naruto “help” by holding the mostly unwrapped present up to him and letting Naruto grab the last bit of colorful paper. He was so entranced by the wrapping paper that it took him a few moments to actually notice the real gift that Kakashi retrieved from the now unwrapped box. When he did, his entire face lit up. 

It was a little stuffed pug that looked remarkably like Pakkun. It was so cute that Obito almost didn’t want Kakashi to hand it over to Naruto just for him to inevitably destroy it, but Naruto had already noticed the toy and was whining and making grabby hands. Kakashi didn’t seem to share the same hesitation and readily held out the stuffed dog for Naruto to take. As expected, Naruto immediately started gnawing on the toy, burbling happy nonsense in between chomps. 

“I don’t know how long it’ll last, but at least he’s happy,” Obito sighed, watching as Naruto tugged on the toy’s ear with his teeth. Hopefully he wouldn’t start treating the real Pakkun the same way. The little ninken was very tolerant of Naruto’s antics, but that would probably cross a line.

While Naruto was occupied with the present, and Gai was still trying to get his tears of joy under control, Kakashi suddenly stiffened and looked toward the front door expectantly. It only took Obito a few more seconds to understand his friend’s reaction; they had another visitor. 

All of the seals and wards that Minato-sensei and Kushina had placed around their property made it virtually impossible for anyone to sneak up on the house. Not that their new visitor seemed to be attempting any kind of stealth, but it was still nice to have advanced warning. Obito and Kakashi exchanged a thoughtful look, neither of them expecting more company. Warily, Obito brushed past Gai to hand Naruto over to Kakashi, then took a quick look out through the door’s spyhole. He recognized the person on the other side, but wasn’t sure why they were receiving a visit at all. 

“It’s Asuma.” Obito frowned, turning to glare at Gai. “Did you invite him over?” 

“I did not,” Gai assured him. “Though I am never opposed to spending quality time with one of our wonderfully hip classmates!” 

Obito turned to study Kakashi carefully. “Do you want me to tell him to fuck off?” 

Kakashi barely reacted, looking completely unaffected. “Do whatever you want, I don’t care either way.” He focused his attention back on Naruto, pretending no one was there at all. 

Conversely, Obito made sure his scowl was obvious as he threw their front door open before Asuma could even knock. He definitely hadn’t forgotten what their classmates had said about Kakashi. And he definitely hadn’t forgiven any of them either. He would make sure Asuma knew exactly where they stood. 

Asuma was too competent of a shinobi to flinch in surprise, but he did briefly pause mid step as the door opened, assessing the situation. He took in Obito’s obvious scowl and tense body language, and wisely decided not to approach the doorway any further. 

“Hey,” Asuma greeted nervously. He offered a partial, pitiful wave before dropping his hand back to his side. “I was just in the neighborhood so I figured I’d stop over and say hi. So, uh, hi.” 

Neither Obito or Kakashi, who was hovering further in the house behind everyone else, replied. Obito remained completely still in the doorway, his expression not thawing even the slightest bit as Asuma tried to offer a reassuring smile. Kakashi continued to play dumb, turned away from the open door almost completely. Unfortunately, their first guest did not seem to get the memo about the frosty welcome. 

“Greetings, my youthful friend!” Gai grinned widely from over Obito’s shoulder, unbothered by the tense atmosphere. “What a marvelous coincidence that you stopped by today!” 

Asuma looked a little surprised (and overwhelmed) by Gai’s presence, but he also seemed relieved to not be completely alone with Obito’s less than warm greeting. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here, Gai.” 

Gai laughed heartily. “Nor was I expecting you! One of life’s little gifts–” 

Obito cut off whatever poetic nonsense Gai was going to keep spewing. “What do you want?” he asked coldly, taking a little bit of vicious pleasure in how Asuma winced at his tone. 

“I suppose I deserve this kind of reception, after what happened the last time I saw you guys.” Asuma rubbed at his arm awkwardly, then craned his neck a bit to try to catch Kakashi’s eye behind Obito. Kakashi may not have announced himself, but he wasn’t making an effort to hide away either. He was too proud for that. “Listen,” he sighed, “I just wanted to say–wait, is that a baby?” He did a double-take, losing his train of thought as he noticed the much smaller presence in Kakashi’s arms. 

Asuma blinked a few times, as if to clear Naruto’s presence from his vision. Obito could understand how it might be a bit surprising to see him and Kakashi with a baby. It was definitely not something anyone who knew them would be expecting or looking for. 

And then, Asuma’s eyes widened in comprehension. “Oh. I didn’t know you were the ones that took custody of–” He cut himself off, choosing his words carefully. “Huh. My dad mentioned someone was caring for him,” he gestured toward Naruto, “but he wouldn’t tell me who. You guys probably would have been my last guess, I wouldn’t have pictured either of you as the type.” 

Obito shrugged, “I wouldn’t have pictured myself as the type either, but now…” he couldn’t help but glance back at Naruto and smile warmly. 

“Wow, that’s really cool of you to do. You’re a braver soul than me,” Asuma chuckled. “I can’t even imagine trying to take care of a kid.” 

“It’s been a steep learning curve,” Obito admitted, “but he’s a good kid.” It was so easy to just start gushing about Naruto that he had to remind himself that he was still pissed at Asuma. Their last interaction was still fresh in his mind. He especially had been far too willing to believe the shit rumors being spread about Kakashi. 

Asuma noticed the shift in mood, and the returning scowl on Obito’s face. Based on how his gaze flickered back and forth between Obito and Kakashi, he seemed to realize where the change in atmosphere was coming from. Kakashi, of course, was giving away none of his thoughts or emotions. He just stared at Asuma blankly. 

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Asuma tried to peer past Obito to address Kakashi. “Hey, man. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what happened. I wanted to apologize for the conversation you overheard the last time I saw you, and for what I said. We all wanted to, but we weren’t sure if…” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, looking between the two of them again. “Well, we didn’t know if you’d want to talk to any of us. I know it doesn’t take back what you heard, but we didn’t want to leave things the way they were. We all should have known better than to listen to stupid rumors, and we definitely shouldn’t have repeated them.” 

Obito watched Kakashi closely for his reaction, but Kakashi’s expression didn’t change at all. “It doesn’t matter to me. People can say whatever they want.” 

Fortunately, Asuma didn’t buy the obvious bullshit. “They can, but that doesn’t mean they should. Just so you know, we all agreed that we’d set anyone straight that was talking shit.” He bowed his head slightly, looking genuinely remorseful. “You were right that it wasn’t any of our business. So I’m sorry. For real. None of us think that you’re a, um, you know .” 

Well, at least he didn’t say the words “friend-killer” out loud. 

Still, Kakashi knew exactly what Asuma was talking about. His expression tightened ever-so-slightly, subtly enough that anyone other than Obito probably wouldn’t notice. Prior to a few months ago, when Obito really started to get to know Kakashi as a friend, he certainly wouldn't have noticed either. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Kakashi repeated. 

Asuma looked to Obito for help, not used to dealing with Kakashi’s aloofness. Obito, who was very good at holding grudges, was still pissed off and refused to offer any words of comfort. He was glad that Asuma was apologizing, of course, but that didn’t erase the shit he and the rest of their classmates had said in front of him and Kakashi. 

“Right, ok,” Asuma sighed. “You don’t have to forgive us or anything, I just wanted to make sure you knew that I’m sorry. We’re all sorry.” 

Obito was the one that replied with a snippy, “Apology not accepted! Maybe think twice before opening your big fat mouths next time.” 

To his surprise, Kakashi reached over and patted his arm reassuringly. “It’s fine, Obito.” He stepped around Obito so he could address Asuma properly. “I know you all weren’t the ones that started those rumors. So you don’t need to apologize.” 

“No, he definitely does,” Obito disagreed sharply, still glaring at their classmate. 

“Stop making a big deal out of this,” Kakashi replied irritably. “I told you I don’t care.” 

Well that was a huge load of bullshit. Kakashi had been obviously upset by the conversation he’d overheard between their classmates. And he’d definitely become visibly uncomfortable the few other times they heard the whispers of “friend-killer” around the village. 

“You don’t need to act so unaffected by everything,” Obito argued. “It’s fine to admit that you’re upset!” 

“You’re clearly more upset than I am,” Kakashi responded, obnoxiously level-headed. 

Asuma was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with their bickering. He glanced between them and took an uneasy step backwards. “Should I go?” 

At the same time that Obito snapped, “yes,” Kakashi shrugged and said, “whatever,” and Gai enthusiastically yelled, “no.” Understandably, Asuma didn’t seem to know which direction to follow. 

To Obito’s chagrin, the mixed signals somehow ended up being interpreted as, “come in for some tea”, though Obito wasn’t sure how or why. The whole affair was uncomfortable for everyone (except Gai and Naruto), but it seemed to bridge an invisible gap between the two of them and the rest of their classmates. For the next week and a half, at least one of their classmates showed up every day to meet Naruto and give them an unofficial baby shower gift. Naruto was delighted by all the attention and visitors, so even Kakashi couldn’t bring himself to complain about all the surprise guests they were receiving. 

Or maybe he was just placated by all the free stuff they were getting. The cheap bastard. 

Chapter Text

“Another point to me,” Kakashi said smugly, using his foot on the back of Obito’s head to shove his face further into the ground. 

“Umf–” Obito managed to turn his head to the side, spitting out wads of dirt and grass. “You fucking asshole.” 

Kakashi removed his foot, chuckling at Obito’s misfortune. Obito rolled over onto his back, wincing in pain. He glowered at the sight of Kakashi’s stupidly self-satisfied expression. For as much as he’d improved over the past few years, he still couldn’t seem to get the edge over Kakashi. But he was getting close! Their spars lasted longer, and Obito managed to land more hits than he used to. And, much to Obito’s genuine delight, Kakashi looked worn out after their practice sessions. He might still be winning more often than not, but Obito was at least making him work for his victories. 

He’d also come to discover that he did hold a few key advantages over Kakashi, ones that he was sure would tip the balance of their spars in his favor sooner rather than later. For one, something about the modifications Madara had made to him with the Shodaime’s cells had massively increased his chakra reserves. He also healed faster and took less damage overall. 

And then there was his Sharingan. It made learning new jutsu a breeze (many of which Kakashi picked up on his missions and then shared later with Obito), and also helped him keep up with his previously untouchable teammate. His reaction time felt almost unreal with the Sharingan’s aid, sometimes like he could almost predict what Kakashi was going to do next. Of course, that meant Kakashi was also able to make use of the same advantage with his own Sharingan. 

The difference was that Kakashi had a relatively short time limit before the Sharingan drained his chakra to a dangerous level, so he couldn’t rely on it like Obito could. It didn’t seem to handicap him much (at all), and mostly just made Obito feel bad about giving Kakashi such an awful chakra drain that he could barely use. 

Sitting up, Obito groaned, “I was so close that time. I almost had you.” 

There was a scoff from behind him and Kakashi, originating from where Naruto was safely out of harm’s way with a pair of clones protecting him. One of Obito’s, and one of Kakashi’s. Unsurprisingly, it was Kakashi’s clone that was acting disbelieving. 

“Your attacks are still too obvious,” the clone chastised. “You leave yourself wide open to counterstrikes.” 

“Oh come on,” Obito’s own clone responded, “give him a break, he’s way better than he used to be!” 

Clone-Kakashi shrugged. “Sure, but considering he used to be a complete failure, being ‘way better’ isn’t all that impressive.” 

Between the pair of clones, Naruto giggled and babbled a few words that sounded so close to some variation of their names. Any day now, Obito was sure that Naruto would be using real words. In fact, he and Kakashi had a bet going about whose name Naruto would say first. Obito was sure it would be him, but he decided to humor Kakashi anyway to make him feel better. 

“Don’t be such a dick,” Clone-Obito growled. 

“I’m just stating facts,” Clone-Kakashi shrugged. 

Obito–the real one–hissed, “Jeez, even your clone-self is a fucking asshole.” 

At the same time, both Kakashi and his clone snapped, “Stop cursing in front of Naruto!” 

Feeling petty, Obito used Moukuton to summon a vine from the ground and poof Kakashi’s clone by impaling it through the chest. In retaliation, Kakashi tossed a kunai at the head of Obito’s clone. The clone cursed and then poofed just moments behind Kakashi’s. 

Naruto, who was far too young to understand the concept of shadow clones, became immediately distressed by the clones’ disappearance. From his perspective, his guardians had just suddenly vanished and left him alone. He started wailing at the top of his lungs, his entire face turning red. 

Obito rushed forward immediately, scooping Naruto up and gently soothing him. “Hey, hey, it’s alright. That was just Bakashi being dumb, don’t worry about it.” 

Kakashi sighed, pulling his forehead protector down over his Sharingan. “Of course it’s all my fault.” 

“Glad we agree,” Obito grinned. Naruto’s cries died down quickly when he realized that Obito and Kakashi were still there. He still seemed a bit confused, and babbled a few nonsensical questions, but he mostly appeared to be calmed by the realization that he wasn’t actually alone. 

“At least your Moukuton control is improving,” Kakashi commented, reaching over to pat Naruto on the head. The action seemed to soothe any residual anxiety the toddler may have been experiencing. 

“Hell yeah it is!” Obito agreed. He might not be impressing the Shodaime any time soon, but he at least could voluntarily use it now. The potted plants Kakashi bought for him to practice on were thriving, and he’d even started a very lush garden for them behind Sensei and Kushina’s house. In his humble opinion, the cucumbers he’d grown were the best he’d ever tasted. Oh and he could also reliably summon some cool vines and branches and stuff during their spars too. So that was pretty neat. 

He still had to be careful with any strong feelings, though. Moukuton seemed to be really sensitive to emotions, and could rage out of control easily if he wasn’t careful. All too often, he thought about the carnage he’d left in the wake of Rin’s death. He didn’t feel the least bit sorry for the enemies he’d killed, but he had recurring nightmares about Kakashi being caught up in the slaughter. Or sometimes, the nightmares got creative and he’d be the one killing Rin, or Sensei, or Kushina, or even Naruto. 

That was why Obito knew he needed as much practice as possible. With that in mind, he asked, “Ready to go another round?” He looked at Kakashi expectantly. 

Kakashi shook his head. “Your chakra reserves are ridiculous. If you want to keep going, hand Naruto over and make yourself some shadow clones to keep busy with. I’m going home.” 

“Lame,” Obito scoffed. “Fine, let’s go home.” He started walking, not waiting for Kakashi to reply. As expected, Kakashi fell into step with him right away. 

On their way back, they passed a few people, but most didn’t look too closely at the three of them. Naruto got recognized more and more out in the village, but most people still hadn’t connected the dots. As far as most of the civilians were concerned, they were just a non-traditional looking family out for a stroll. There were a handful of people that stared at Naruto for a bit too long, as if trying to puzzle out why he seemed familiar, but no one made any comments about him (at least on this particular trip). 

There was one (probably) well-meaning civilian that stopped them and started gushing about how “brave” they were and how it was so wonderful to see “people like them” out in public. Neither of them really knew how to respond to that. 

As they walked, Obito couldn’t help but glance upward at the silent, stone heads that overlooked the village. He’d always thought that it didn’t really capture Sensei’s likeness very well. The stone carving looked so…severe. Stern. Serious. Things that Minato-sensei could be, if the situation called for it, but not things that he was on a day-to-day basis. The carving captured none of his patience, or easy-going nature, or his awful humor. It captured the Yondaime’s essence as the village’s steadfast protector, but not as Team 7’s sensei. 

The history books would rightfully remember him as a hero, and praise his bravery and sacrifice, but there would be no mention of who he was as a sensei, or a husband. Or who he would have been as a father. It was incredibly depressing to think about. 

Kakashi picked up on Obito’s uncharacteristic silence, following his gaze upward. Something pained crossed his expression when he looked at the stone carving of their sensei. He understood. He was probably the only person in the world that could understand. 

Still, it was not in Kakashi’s nature to provide comfort directly, or to talk about his feelings. “Trying to picture your own face up there?” he teased, offering a change of subject in lieu of an actual discussion of what was on their minds. “Your carving would look even more ridiculous now with just one eye, you know.” 

“More badass, I think you mean,” Obito argued. 

Kakashi shook his head, exasperated. “You wouldn’t still want your stupid goggles too, would you?” 

Obito shot Kakashi a petulant glare. “Hey, I haven’t even worn them since–” he grimaced. “They, um, I lost them. I didn’t have them when I woke up in the, uh, you know .” 

And just like that, the light, teasing nature between them started to evaporate. “Ah. Right.” Kakashi looked away, uncomfortable. 

Despite the unfortunate turn the conversation was taking, Obito did appreciate Kakashi’s attempt at humor and reassurance. He might as well try to repay the favor. “I think the eyepatch would look pretty cool, actually. Especially next to my Sharingan.” 

“No, it would look stupid,” Kakashi disagreed, relaxing back into their playful banter. 

“He’s got no taste,” Obito stage-whispered to Naruto, who giggled in delight at being included in the conversation. 

In response, Kakashi scoffed, “Why don’t you look at what you were wearing in our team photo and say that to me again?” 

“Ok first of all,” Obito sulked, “I don’t dress like that anymore. And second, even if I did, I’d still look way cooler than you!” He gestured to Kakashi’s current outfit. “At least I try to add a little flare to my wardrobe; you just live in your shinobi gear 24/7.” 

“I do not,” Kakashi argued. 

Obito waved a hand flippantly. “Fine, sometimes you wear boring black shirts and boring black pants at home. You’re a real fashion trendsetter.” 

Kakashi didn’t respond, but he did shoot Obito a pretty nasty look. 

After a few more minutes of walking, Obito stopped and motioned for Kakashi to do the same. “Here, take Naruto,” he requested, handing the baby over. “We’re low on pretty much everything, so I should stop and get groceries while we’re out. You can go home with Naruto since it’s almost naptime.”

“For you, or for the baby?” Kakashi quipped, before taking Naruto into his arms. He gave Obito a skeptical look. “You’re not just going to buy junk food, are you?” 

“Get fucked,” Obito retorted. 

“I told you–” 

“‘Stop swearing in front of Naruto,’” Obito interjected sarcastically. “Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first hundred times you said it.” He gave Naruto one last hair ruffle, then waved to Kakashi over his shoulder as he walked away. “See you at home.” 

Sighing, Kakashi responded, “See you at home.” 

Once Kakashi was out of sight, Obito started making his way toward the village’s shopping district. He passed the closest markets, looking for something else. 

It wasn’t a total lie that they needed groceries, but Obito did admittedly have an ulterior motive. He’d nearly forgotten that it was almost Kakashi’s birthday, so he didn’t have anything planned at all. No presents, no party, nothing. Granted, Kakashi would definitely not want a party, or anything even remotely fun, but it was the principle of it all! At the very least, he needed to get Kakashi a present. If he didn’t, what kind of best friend would he be? And sure, Kakashi seemed to hate every gift Obito ever gave him (besides his Sharingan), but that didn’t mean he should stop trying. 

The obvious answer seemed like it should be to get Kakashi something practical. Maybe a new set of kunai, or some weapons’ oil or something. Except, Obito had tried that in the past, and it didn’t go well. Kakashi was very particular about what kind of gear he used. A lot of it was either something that belonged to his father (like his tanto), or something that he’d painstakingly picked out and maintained. And Kakashi was definitely not a “it’s the thought that counts” kind of person. 

The less obvious answer was to get Kakashi some kind of personal keepsake. It was so opposite from what anyone would expect for him that it might just work, because certainly no one else was getting Kakashi anything personal. But Obito had tried that too, back when they were still a full team. One time, he bought Kakashi a really nice (and quite practical, if he did say so himself) scarf after Minato-sensei insisted that teammates should celebrate each other’s birthdays. Kakashi hadn’t even thanked him for the gift, he just took one look at the scarf and buried it away in his bag, never to be seen again. Similarly, Rin had given Kakashi a picture frame for their team photo, and Kakashi just stared at the item like he had no idea what to do with it. 

In a totally unrelated incident, Minato-sensei stopped pushing that particular tradition after Kakashi bought Obito a watch for his own birthday one year and told him it was so he “could actually be on time for once”. Sensei definitely ended it because the gift sucked, and not because Obito got really pissed off and started a fight with Kakashi that resulted in significant destruction of property. Nope, the latter was definitely not the reason. 

So yeah, Kakashi was horrible to buy gifts for. 

The only gift Obito ever saw him regularly use was the med kit Rin gave him when he made jounin. Maybe he should just buy replacement supplies for the kit? Except, Kakashi always got awkward and sad when he used it, and that wasn’t exactly the ideal birthday vibe. Plus, he would probably buy the wrong stuff anyway. Rin was always super meticulous with her supplies, and Obito hadn’t paid enough attention to how she organized the kits she made. 

Maybe he could do what Sensei always did and offer to teach Kakashi a cool new jutsu for his present. 

…he just needed to learn a cool new jutsu first. Something with the Sharingan, maybe? Not that he was particularly proficient with it, but sometimes he could get Shisui to help him, when his cousin wasn’t busy being the clan’s pride and joy. And yeah, technically the clan had labeled Obito as a “bloodline traitor” and forbid anyone from officially teaching him anything about their doujutsu, but when had he ever given a single shit about rule breaking? Too bad Shisui was out on a mission and not around to help him anyway. 

All of his ideas sucked so far. He might as well just go look around and see what he could find. He did have to be careful about which shops he entered, because some of the shopkeepers made nasty comments about Naruto, Kakashi’s father, the Uchiha, or all three. It turned out that there were a lot of prejudiced assholes in the village. 

Fortunately, there was a shop nearby that always welcomed them since Obito had unknowingly saved the shop’s owner the night of the Kyuubi attack. At first, the owner had been wary of Naruto, but they quickly warmed up to him and even started sending little gifts home. Between them and the owner of Ichiraku, who adored Naruto on sight, at least they wouldn’t starve. 

Entering the shop, Obito called out a greeting to the familiar teenaged civilian cashier behind the counter. They mumbled out a generic, bored greeting in response but otherwise didn’t react to his presence. Obito wasn’t offended, he knew it was how they treated everyone, and it was honestly nice to be treated the same as everybody else. 

“Can you help me?” Obito asked, barely getting an acknowledgement from the cashier. “I’m looking for a gift for someone who hates gifts. And fun.”

The cashier shrugged and pointed lazily toward a display in the back. “That’s what everyone’s buying right now.” 

Obito followed the gesture, making his way to a display stacked high with books. He picked one up, curious. “ Icha Icha Paradise ?” He’d certainly never heard of it. “This is really what’s popular right now?” 

“Uh huh,” the bored cashier drawled. 

“Is it any good?” 

“Must be, if everyone’s buying it,” the cashier retorted. 

He looked over the book’s cover. The cover art was kind of cheesy, but the author was familiar. “Written by Master Jiraiya, huh?” That seemed promising. Obito had no idea if Kakashi liked reading, but something written by one of the Legendary Sannin seemed like the sort of thing he’d probably enjoy if he did. He flipped it over to the back, briefly reading the summary. A dashing adventurer on a dangerous quest faces insurmountable odds while looking for– “Yeah sure, I’ll take it.” 

The cashier gave him the price, then held their hand out expectantly. Obito handed over the appropriate currency, then asked. “Hey, do you do gift wrapping?” 

Based on the empty stare he received in response, Obito took that to mean, “no”. That left him forced to employ his own shit gift wrapping skills, using scraps of newspaper he had laying around. When he showed Kakashi the gift a few days later on his actual birthday, he got nothing but a judgemental eyebrow raise in response. 

“Here, happy birthday, asshole.” Obito handed the poorly wrapped gift to Kakashi. 

Kakashi was obnoxiously meticulous about opening the present, keeping the “wrapping paper” together in one piece. He looked less like he was opening a birthday present, and more like he was unwrapping a parcel on a classified mission. It honestly wasn’t surprising, considering Kakashi had no idea how to have fun. 

When the book was revealed, Kakashi set the paper to the side, and looked over the gift curiously. His brow furrowed as he flipped it over, reading the summary. He looked up at Obito, then back at the book, as if trying to puzzle something out. 

Then, he asked, “...you bought me porn?” 

“No, definitely not! It’s not porn, it’s–” He grabbed the book out of Kakashi’s hands, then flipped it over to the back. He hadn’t read the description that closely before, but surely he didn’t miss that important detail! 

He saw the key words he remembered: action, adventure, and ok it did say romance, but that didn’t mean–

Oh. Yeah, it definitely said “erotica” in the summary. Oops. 

“Ok I didn’t read the entire summary, so what?” Obito handed the book back to Kakashi, shoving it back into his hands like it had burned him. “I just saw that Master Jiraiya wrote it, and I thought, ‘hey, Sensei’s sensei wrote this, and he’s a super strong shinobi so I bet he wrote a story about another super strong shinobi!’ I’ve read his other book and there definitely wasn’t any porn in it!” There was no way Minato-sensei would have lent him the book if it had, nor would he have named his son after one of the characters. 

Defensively, Obito added, “I honestly didn’t put a ton of thought into it anyway!”  

“Gee, thanks.” 

“I thought you’d just throw it away like you did with all the other gifts me or Rin gave you!” Obito countered. “It seemed pointless to spend a bunch of money on something you wouldn’t even keep.” 

“What are you talking about?” Kakashi asked, looking genuinely confused. “I’ve kept every gift you and Rin ever gave me.” 

Obito stared at him for a few seconds, waiting for Kakashi to scoff and say he was obviously joking. Except, he didn’t. He just stared right back at Obito, frowning and looking weirdly confused about the statement. 

It had to be a lie. “Bullshit. The only gift I’ve ever seen you use is the med kit Rin gave you.” 

“I didn’t say I used them,” Kakashi retorted, “I said that I kept them. Some of them were stupid and impractical, but I wasn’t going to just throw them away.” 

Obito narrowed his eye. “The scarf I gave you?” 

“In a box in my closet. We live in the Land of Fire , idiot. It’s not like I have much use for winter clothing.” Kakashi shrugged. 

“What about the picture frame Rin gave you the same year? I know you didn’t use it for our team photo like she meant for you to!” 

Another shrug. “Our team photo already had a frame. I used it for something else.” 

“I’ve never seen it!” 

Kakashi stared at him with his usual “Obito you’re such an idiot” stare. “Oh well if you’ve never seen it, obviously it doesn’t exist,” he scoffed. Then, more gently, he admitted, “It’s in my room at my apartment. I used it for a photo of my mom.” 

Ok, now Obito kind of felt like an asshole. “...the shuriken I bought you the year after that?” 

“They were the wrong size for my hands, but I have them in an emergency stash in case I can’t get to my normal weapons,” Kakashi explained nonchalantly. “And before you ask, yes I have everything else too. All the random, useless trinkets and knick-knacks you and Rin kept giving me even after I told you I didn’t want anything.” 

“What about–” 

“Yes, I still have that hideous wooden dog you carved,” Kakashi rolled his visible eye, “and yes I know you made it hideous on purpose.”

None of that made any sense! Why would Kakashi keep so many items that he himself had admitted were useless? It was almost like–

“Oh,” Obito snickered as the realization hit him. “You liked the stupid gifts we got you!” 

Crossing his arms, Kakashi scoffed, “I definitely did not. They’re pointless and they just take up space.” 

“No you definitely don’t think that, or you would have just thrown them away!” Obito grinned at the proclamation. “You totally liked them,” he teased. “Oh shit. You liked us .” 

“ You ,” Kakashi hissed, “were an annoying, talentless, thorn in my side. I did not like you.” 

It was honestly a stupid argument, because Obito knew Kakashi cared about them even when he pretended not to. Even when he (self-admittedly) tried not to. But there was a huge difference between not totally hating your teammates, and secretly liking them enough to keep the non-functional gifts they bought you. If Obito hadn’t been crushed under a giant boulder, would Kakashi have ever actually admitted that he cared about them, or would they still be at each other’s throats all the time? Not that he felt like those two things were a fair trade off…

“That’s so sweet,” Obito cooed. “Who would’ve guessed that super serious Kakashi was actually super sentimental?” 

“You’re one to talk,” Kakashi retorted. “Remember when Rin made you lunch and you were so excited about getting a gift from her that you refused to eat it?” 

He did remember that, and it was super embarrassing. “That definitely didn’t happen!” Obito lied. 

“It definitely did,” Kakashi goaded. “And do you remember when it went bad but you didn’t want to throw it away because you thought she made it special for you?” 

“That didn’t happen either!” 

“Sure it didn’t.” Kakashi looked annoyingly delighted by the teasing. “Just like you didn’t cry when you found out Rin made lunch for everyone in our class that day and not just you.” 

Crossing his arms, Obito very maturely retorted, “Fuck off!” 

To his absolute horror, a much higher pitched voice echoed, “Fuck!” 

Both he and Kakashi stopped bickering, and turned toward the source of the voice. Naruto was sitting on a blanket in the middle of the living room surrounded by a small mountain of toys. He stared up at both of them with a bright smile on his face. With their attention now on him, he giggled, and repeated, “Fuck!” 

Obito had two realizations at the same time: first, Naruto had just said his first real word, which was a super important milestone. And second, his first real word was “fuck”. When he died in the (hopefully) very distant future, Kushina was going to greet him in the afterlife by killing him again. She’d be so pissed. Despite her own potty mouth, there was no way she’d be ok with her precious baby’s first word being so vulgar. 

“No, no, Naruto. Say something else, anything else,” he pleaded. “How about ‘ramen’? That would be a super fitting first word for you!” 

Naruto smiled widely, loving all the attention on him. “Fuck! Fuck!” he chirped again.  

Still horrified, Obito grinned sheepishly at Kakashi, who still hadn’t reacted to the situation. “Heh, so remember when you said I should stop cursing in front of Naruto? I guess you had a point.” 

At the sound of his voice, Kakashi’s gaze snapped over to Obito. He kept staring for a few moments, and then he made a really weird, high pitched sound in his throat. The sound was so foreign that Obito was genuinely concerned Kakashi was having a medical emergency, until he made the sound again and Obito realized what it was. Kakashi was fucking giggling . 

It got weirder. The giggling–yes, that was definitely what he was doing holy shit–got progressively louder and more out of control until Kakashi was almost full on cackling. He started laughing so hard he actually teared up. 

At first, Obito could only stare, because he’d never heard Kakashi laugh like that. Shit, he didn’t even know Kakashi was capable of finding something amusing enough to laugh like that! 

His second reaction to the unexpected laughter was kind of confusing. He felt sort of…warm? Fuzzy? He wasn’t really sure. But it was definitely not a bad feeling. He didn’t really have time to process it, because the laughter was so contagious that he couldn’t help but join in. It didn’t take long before he was laughing just as hard as Kakashi, almost doubling over and clutching at his side. At one point, they kind of ended up leaning on each other, and almost managed to stop cackling like a pair of hyenas. 

Unfortunately for them, Naruto was a fast learner, and had already realized a new and very efficient method for getting attention. “Fuck!” he squealed, clapping his hands excitedly. 

That was all it took for both of them to burst into laughter again. 

While he was still trying to catch his breath, Kakashi managed to chuckle, “This is the best birthday gift I’ve ever gotten. Kushina would be absolutely furious.” 

Should he be a little bit concerned at how much joy Kakashi was taking in the idea of Obito’s misfortune? Maybe. But instead, he just felt like he wouldn’t mind hearing Kakashi laugh like that again. 

—--------------------------------

In hindsight, Obito probably should have realized that he was due for some kind of universal “fuck you” considering how well his life had been going lately. Naruto was toddling around and stringing more and more words together every day (and not just swear words, thank you very much). He was happy, healthy, and on track with all of his milestones. Actually, he was ahead of some of them! The Council kept making snide comments about how it was “to be expected” considering his parentage and anything less would be a “failure” on the part of his guardian. Whatever. Naruto was thriving, and that was what mattered. 

Plus, he and Kakashi were getting along better than ever.They still pushed each other’s buttons, but it was all in good fun. They hadn’t had a true blow out fight in months, and they were communicating way better than they used to. Kakashi was also less stuck up and definitely smiled more often. Not as often as a normal person, but more often than was typical for him. Caring for Naruto seemed to be almost therapeutic for him, and was definitely helping to dislodge the stick he seemed to have perpetually shoved up his ass. 

And sure, Kakashi still made fun of him for accidentally buying him porn for his birthday, but Obito definitely saw him reading said porn when he thought Obito wasn’t paying attention. 

So yeah, everything was going just a bit too well, which was why it was inevitable that his life was due to be ruined again. And no, he wasn’t being overdramatic, not even a little bit!

The night his life was ruined (really, it was!), everything started out perfectly normal. Kakashi had been back from his most recent mission for a few days, and was slowly recovering from his usual post-mission funk and exhaustion. They made dinner together, both of them coming up with increasingly creative ways to convince Naruto to eat his vegetables, and then worked together to get Naruto ready for bed. 

Naruto was as uncooperative as one would expect of an energetic toddler, but a warm bath and a quick story predictably lulled him to sleep. He was tucked into bed and snoring away, clutching his favorite Pakkun look-alike stuffed toy after only a few minutes into the story he’d asked for. 

Their routine didn’t deviate, and Naruto didn’t show any particular signs of distress before bed, so both of them were startled when he started wailing and screaming a few hours later. The two of them bolted down the hall (he was pretty sure Kakashi actually shunshin’d) and burst into the toddler’s room with weapons drawn. The room was empty, save for the bawling toddler sitting upright in his bed. 

Kakashi grabbed Naruto, holding him close and opening his Sharingan eye to look for danger. Obito functionally did the same, scanning the room with his own Sharingan to look for any dangers or inconsistencies. None of the seals or traps around the home had been triggered, and as far as Obito could tell, their ANBU guard hadn’t moved from their usual surveillance location. His sensory abilities were still pretty iffy, but they were improving, so he at least should have been able to tell if there was anyone else in the room. Everything seemed in order. 

Still, neither of them were willing to risk Naruto’s safety, so they both summoned a few clones to do a sweep of the house and the property, while Kakashi tried to calm Naruto enough to ask him what happened. 

“Did something scare you?” Kakashi asked gently, letting Naruto nuzzle into his shoulder. 

Naruto nodded and murmured, “Scary.” He was still crying and hiccupping, but seemed to be slowly calming down now that he wasn’t alone. 

He and Kakashi exchanged a worried look. “What was scary, Naruto?” Kakashi asked. 

Naruto’s explanation was a little unintelligible given his state of distress, but Obito did catch the words, “scary”, “alone”, and “hurt”. 

Obito looked over the toddler carefully for signs of injury. He didn’t see anything obvious. “You’re hurt?” 

Naruto nodded a few times, hesitated, then shook his head. “Felt hurt.” 

A rush of memories came to him as his clones dismissed themselves one by one. Nothing was out of the ordinary in the house. Based on the small shake of his head that Kakashi gave him, he hadn’t found anything either. 

Another possibility popped into his head. “Oh. Do you think he had a nightmare?” Obito whispered.

Naruto’s behavior and explanation were consistent with a nightmare, which would be a first for him. Based on the parenting books he’d read, Naruto was the right age to start having them. He just hoped it was a normal toddler’s bad dream and not something related to the Kyuubi. From what he remembered, Kushina mentioned the fox sometimes disturbed her dreams, so it was entirely possible that Naruto was experiencing something similar. He really hoped that wasn’t the case, because Obito didn’t think he was ready to deal with that particular explanation. 

“I think so. It doesn’t look like anyone else is here.” Kakashi responded. He rubbed Naruto’s back soothingly, then addressed the toddler directly. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Naruto mumbled out another explanation, which did in fact sound like a nightmare. Even though he felt bad for the kid, Obito was relieved that there wasn’t an assassin or something in the house. Fortunately, Naruto also didn’t say anything about a giant fox demon. But that didn’t make the dream any less intense for Naruto. 

“It’s ok,” Kakashi told him, “sometimes I get scared at night too.” 

Obito barely suppressed a grimace at the statement, because he knew that was an understatement. Considering the number of times he’d caught a frantic, half-asleep Kakashi scrubbing his arm raw to remove invisible blood in their bathroom sink, “scared” didn’t really seem to cover what Kakashi experienced. Not that Obito was a stranger to nightmares either. One time he’d tangled himself in his bed sheets and woken up convinced that he was still in the cave with Madara. He’d screamed so loudly that Kakashi thought they were under attack. 

So yeah, both of them could understand how awful a bad dream could be. 

Quietly, Obito added, “Me too. It’s ok to be scared sometimes.” 

Naruto did seem a little placated by the assurances, no longer shaking quite so violently. But when Kakashi tried to put him back down on the bed, he clung on and shrieked, “No!” 

He and Kakashi caught each other’s eye again, becoming increasingly concerned. Naruto was too young to understand the concept of dreams, so they couldn’t really explain what he’d experienced. 

“Do you think it was about something from before we got him?” Obito whispered to Kakashi. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted, looking disturbed about the possibility. “What should we do?” 

Obito tried to recall everything he’d read about nightmares at this age. “Here, let me hold him.” He took Naruto from Kakashi, letting the toddler continue to hide his face and cling onto him like a lifeline. “Hey, kiddo. I know it was scary, but it was just make-believe, ok? Sometimes your brain likes to play make-believe at night and it can be scary, but it’s not real.” 

Naruto sniffled. “Make-believe?” 

“Yeah. You had a bad dream. We all have them sometimes,” he assured the toddler. 

“You?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Kashi?” Naruto asked next, peeking over at Kakashi to watch his reaction. 

“Yes,” Kakashi replied with an ease that he only afforded to Naruto. Anyone else would have to basically force the answer out of him. 

Naruto seemed to be processing the information. “Don’t like.” 

Obito couldn’t help but laugh at the response. “Neither do I. They suck.” 

“They suck,” Naruto repeated. He was relaxing a bit, but still clinging. 

He held Naruto for a little while longer, while Kakashi did one more sweep of the room, just in case. They both seemed pretty convinced it was just a nightmare at this point, but it didn’t hurt to check again. When Kakashi visibly relaxed after checking the room, Obito felt himself do the same. He trusted Kakashi not to miss any potential signs of intruders or traps. If Kakashi was confident that the room was clear, then Obito knew there was nothing to worry about. 

Kakashi also made a show of checking under the bed, in the closet, and even in every drawer to show Naruto there were no monsters or anything else that might be scary. Obito appreciated the thoroughness, and the care Kakashi was showing. He was like a completely different person when it came to Naruto. No one would ever believe Obito if he told people how soft Kakashi could be. Not that he was particularly inclined to share that particular detail with anyone. He kind of liked that no one else got to see that side of the normally stoic shinobi. 

Since Naruto seemed to be calming down, the two of them tried to convince him to go back to sleep. He let them tuck him back in, but remained wary and completely wide awake. Every little noise seemed to startle him and not even his favorite story could hold his attention. 

“I can summon my ninken to stay with him for the night,” Kakashi reasoned, “or he could just sleep with one of us.” 

Sternly, Obito responded, “No, all the books say you can make things worse if you start doing stuff like that. We’re supposed to make him feel safe by himself, in his own bed.” 

“I know, but it’s his first nightmare,” Kakashi argued, “and just for one night. It’ll be fine.” 

“I can’t believe I’m being the hardass here,” Obito sighed, settling in at the toddler’s bedside. “Come on, just sit down and we’ll stay with him until he falls asleep.” 

Even though he still looked like he wanted to argue, Kakashi did as he was bid. He sat down cross legged next to Obito, so they were both leaning against the side of the bed. Naruto scooted as close to the edge as possible so he could be close to them, but still didn’t close his eyes. 

Conversely, Obito was struggling to keep his open. Despite being the only one in the room that didn’t need sleep, he seemed to be the only one who actually wanted to sleep. In his defense, when he was on a normal sleep schedule like he was now, it was much harder to go back to staying awake at night. Just because he could theoretically stay awake indefinitely and not die didn’t mean he wasn’t tired sometimes. Or often, because raising a toddler was honestly exhausting. 

He kept nodding off, jerking his head up when he started to drift off. Eventually, he lost the fight against the pull of sleep and dozed off for a bit. The next time he jerked awake, he almost went into a full blown panic when he turned to his side and realized he was alone. Kakashi was gone, and so was Naruto. 

He scrambled to his feet and was ready to tear the house apart to find out what happened, but fortunately he quickly realized he didn’t need to go far to find them. Apparently, Kakashi had decided to disregard their conversation (and what all the parenting books said) and let Naruto sleep with him. He must have brought Naruto out to the couch with him and then fallen asleep. The sight was so endearing that Obito was struggling to be annoyed that Kakashi had gone against his wishes. 

It was also a little funny, if he was being honest with himself. Kakashi was notoriously stubborn and unyielding in his day-to-day life, but he didn’t seem to be able to deny Naruto anything. He always gave into the toddler’s pleas of “more” or “again” for sweets and games. Not that Obito was particularly good at denying Naruto anything either, but at least that was in character for him. Kakashi was supposed to be the stern parent, and Obito was supposed to be the fun parent, dammit! 

Regardless, he’d still give Kakashi an earful in the morning, but for now, he’d let both of them be. Naruto was clearly relaxed and deep asleep, so Obito wasn’t going to wake him just to yell at Kakashi. He wouldn’t have the heart to do that on any night, but especially not tonight after the poor kid experienced his first nightmare.  

Plus, Kakashi also looked deep asleep, which wasn’t typical for him. Usually, if Obito got up in the middle of the night, Kakashi was generally already wide awake. It didn’t matter how quiet he was, because Kakashi was always on guard, and any little disturbance would rouse him to full alertness. For him to not show any reaction to the frantic scrambling Obito had been doing in the other room, he must be really asleep. No matter how irritated he was, Obito couldn’t bring himself to disturb Kakashi. It was so rare that Kakashi actually felt safe and content enough to let his guard down so completely like this, so it felt wrong to ruin the moment. 

And then there was how he’d fallen asleep. It was, for lack of a better word, adorable . It was kind of like when a cat fell asleep in your lap and you couldn’t bear to disturb them even though you really needed to use the bathroom.

Naruto was curled up on Kakashi’s chest, with one of Kakashi’s arms protectively draped over his back. Both him and Naruto were drooling a little, and breathing slowly and comfortably. None of the earlier tension he’d seen in Naruto’s frame was present. He was completely at ease, snoozing away without a care in the world. Kakashi himself looked equally relaxed. Unguarded, even. Obito couldn’t recall ever seeing his friend like that. 

Ok, it was really, really hard to remember to be annoyed with Kakashi right now, after seeing him like that. 

There was a warmth in his chest that he hadn’t felt in a long time, since before Kannabi Bridge. It was like his heart was going to burst from happiness. They’d really managed to build a sweet little domestic bubble here, hadn’t they? He loved Naruto so much, and it made him so unbelievably giddy to know that Kakashi did too. Seeing the two of them together, so obviously comfortable and content, felt like finding pieces to a puzzle that he didn’t know he was missing. 

Without thinking about it, he activated his Sharingan, wanting to preserve the memory forever. Everything felt so…right. He wanted to remember everything about the moment, from Naruto’s cute little snores to the way Kakashi’s stupidly pretty eyelashes fluttered as he was dreaming–

Wait, what? Hold on, where did that thought come from? 

His brain was just getting a little carried away from all the mushy emotions he was feeling. Plus, it was the middle of the night and he wasn’t really thinking straight. He didn’t actually think Kakashi was pretty. 

No, Kakashi wasn’t pretty he was just…ok yeah, he was pretty. Objectively. Obito might only have one eye, but that didn’t make him blind! He knew that a lot of the girls (and some of the boys) their age were thirsty for Kakashi. So obviously there was something appealing about him, if so many of their peers found him attractive. It certainly wasn’t his personality that they liked…

And yeah, he could see it. From a totally objective standpoint, the guy was good looking. Especially now that he knew what he looked like under the mask. He had a nice smile, though it was still pretty rare to see. But when did smile, like actually, truly, openly smile (or laugh) and his eye did that happy little crinkly thing? Yeah that was not a terrible look. Plus, his face was…symmetrical. Yeah. And the pointed teeth kind of weirdly suited him. And obviously he was in good shape because, you know, ninja . It was normal to notice stuff like that, because it meant that he was being a good shinobi and observing his surroundings. 

That’s how he’d noticed how soft and gentle Kakashi became when he was holding Naruto. Or how annoyingly put together he looked in the mornings. Or how he was actually a huge nerd about jutsu creation and not a completely terrible teacher when he actually put  effort into helping Obito make progress with Moukuton. Or how he remembered stupid, annoying details like how Obito liked his tea and always had it ready in the morning, or which vegetables Obito disliked so he could take them off his plate, or how he always tried to stay in Obito’s blind spot so no one could sneak up on him, or–

Kakashi’s nose scrunched up as he slept, and dreamt, and all Obito could think was, cute . 

The thought hit him like a freight train. 

No. Oh no. Oh no . 

With none of the grace of his shinobi training, Obito stumbled into the nearest bathroom down the hall. He pulled the door closed, more roughly than he meant to, and flicked the light on. He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror, an incriminating flush on his face, and scowled. 

“ You ,” he pointed at himself in the mirror, “stop that. You do not have feelings for Bakashi!” he hissed. “You don’t think of him like that! You like girls, you liked Rin. Not stupid, stubborn, reckless, loyal, surprisingly dorky, occasionally charming, annoyingly pretty Kakashi!” 

His flush deepened, so he turned on the sink and splashed himself with cold water. “Get it together, Uchiha! You’re just confused. Your feelings are platonic. Familial. Yeah. It’s just because he’s doing something cute, but that doesn’t mean you think he’s cute. That’s all. It’s fine. Totally fine,” he assured himself. 

After another round of trying to talk himself out of the feelings that he definitely didn’t have , Obito dried his face and exited the bathroom then shuffled back down the hall to the living room, where he was greeted by the sight of a very rumpled, just woken up Kakashi. He was sitting up on the couch, Sharingan eye closed, while his original was still glazed with sleep. His hair was more wild than usual, sticking up in every direction, in a way that shouldn’t have been as charming as it was. Naruto was held securely against his chest, still snoozing away. 

But that wasn’t the worst of it. 

The bastard wasn’t wearing his mask. His whole stupid face, still uncharacteristically relaxed and open, was on display. That meant that when Kakashi suddenly licked his dry lips–probably a motion he didn’t even consciously realize he was doing–Obito saw every single detail. And oh, he definitely had some very not-platonic feelings about that particular action. 

“Obito? Were you talking to someone?” Kakashi asked, his voice groggy–no, husky –with sleep. 

He was so fucked.

Before he could say anything stupid and embarrassing, Obito turned on his heel and fled back into the bathroom. He practically slammed the door behind him in his haste, ignoring Kakashi’s confused shouts from the other room. 

And thus, Obito’s life was ruined.

Chapter Text

Realizing that he had feelings for Kakashi was the worst thing that ever happened to him. 

Ok, that wasn’t true, because he’d been orphaned at a young age, crushed by a giant boulder, held captive by a madman, had very painful and non-consensual modifications made to his body, watched his closest friend/crush use their other friend to kill herself, lost the two people who were functionally the only family he had left, and had a terrible, slow, painful recovery from all of it. 

But this was definitely in the top ten! 

It was going to ruin everything. He tried desperately to talk himself out of his feelings, to remind himself of all the things Kakashi did that pissed him off, but nothing worked. It seemed like now that he had recognized his feelings, they were growing at an exponential rate. He couldn’t stop noticing things about Kakashi. And it was terrible. His stupid, traitorous heart was going to be the death of him. 

He noticed that when Kakashi was writing mission reports he got so focused that he’d end up with a stupid little wrinkle on his forehead. It was annoyingly cute. He noticed how Kakashi cooed at Naruto in a soft, gentle whisper when he thought Obito was out of listening range. It was terribly charming. And he noticed that whenever he was in close proximity to the jerk, his stupid heart would start racing and he’d feel pleasantly warm from his toes to the top of his head. And–and gods forbid they accidentally bumped arms in the kitchen or let their fingers briefly brush together when passing Naruto between them. In those instances, he was genuinely fearful that his heart may just burst out of his chest. 

It was awful, and Kakashi was a bastard. A bastard that he was undeniably in love with. 

He desperately wanted to talk to someone and ask for advice, but the only person he would ever feel comfortable talking about this with couldn’t respond. Despite knowing he would never get an answer, he sat himself in front of Rin’s grave, replaced the last set of flowers that he’d brought, and poured his heart out. 

“Rin, I need your help.” Logically, he knew it was useless, asking a ghost for advice. But it wasn’t like he had anyone else he could talk to about this. Both he and Kakashi were getting along much better with their classmates these days, but that didn’t mean any of them were particularly close. At least, not close enough to talk about something this personal. What was he supposed to do, talk to Gai about this? No way! 

And then, even if Rin, Sensei, and Kushina were all still alive, he probably still would only feel comfortable talking to Rin. For as much as Obito trusted and respected Minato-sensei, the idea of talking about a crush with him was just weird and uncomfortable. They just didn’t have that kind of relationship. As for Kushina, telling her would definitely result in her orchestrating “accidents” that forced him and Kakashi to be stuck together alone somewhere. She would never sit back and let Obito passively try to work out his feelings. She’d certainly pushed him to confess to Rin, and only backed off because of Rin’s obvious crush on Kakashi. It had been a feeble attempt to spare his feelings. 

So yes, Rin was the only one he could talk to about this. “Don’t laugh at me,” he said seriously, “but I think I have, ugh, feelings for Kakashi. Is that ok with you? I know you had a crush on him first, and I had a crush on you, but you didn’t feel the same way about me so–” He sighed. “I just feel like I’m betraying you or something.” 

Of course, there was no response. But at least he wasn’t immediately struck by lightning or anything, so that had to count for something. 

“You remember how we used to try to catch a glimpse of what was under Kakashi’s mask?” One time, Obito tried to fake an entire C-rank mission to trick Kakashi into taking his mask off. Unfortunately, Kakashi recognized his shit handwriting on the mission scroll and didn’t fall for it. “Well, I’ve seen his face plenty of times now and it’s worse than either of us could have ever imagined,” he whined. “Rin, he’s so hot, it’s not fair. And I expected him to be all arrogant about it but I genuinely don’t think he realizes it, which is way worse! And you know what else? I’ve seen him in just a towel, you know. A towel. And nothing else. After a shower. How the fuck am I supposed to handle that?” 

He laid back onto the grass, feeling particularly pathetic. “I don’t know what to do. We’ve been getting along so well–he’s actually admitted that we’re best friends, can you believe that? These stupid feelings could ruin everything.” 

Things seemed so much less complicated when he was twelve. Even the feelings he’d had for Rin seemed so much more straightforward. Obito didn’t want to compare his feelings, because they were definitely different and he was definitely different than he used to be, but his life was undeniably more simple back then. 

Now, everything was weird and complicated. He felt guilty, like he was just throwing away the feelings he’d had for Rin. Logically, he knew that she would have wanted him to move on, and she probably wouldn’t be mad about him having feelings for dumb Bakashi even if she had feelings for him too. Unlike the one-sided competition Obito had with Kakashi for Rin’s attention, he doubted Rin would be so childish. But it still felt like he was overstepping some invisible boundary between the three of them. 

It was probably stupid, because Rin never returned his feelings anyway, but it still felt like some kind of betrayal to have a crush on someone else. It wasn’t like he’d forgotten her! He never, ever would. And it wasn’t like he didn’t still love her either. He was pretty sure he always would, at least on some level. It really didn’t even feel like those feelings had faded. Shifted or changed, sure, but they didn’t just disappear. 

Part of him would always wonder, “what if?” What if she hadn’t died so young? Would she have eventually returned his feelings? Would his own feelings have gone away? Would he still have fallen for Kakashi eventually?

Obito grimaced at his own thought process. “‘ Fallen for ?’” he scoffed. “What the hell am I thinking, I have not ‘fallen for’ him, it’s just a ridiculous crush. People have them all the time, and they don’t last.”  

He tried very hard not to think of his grandmother’s voice, cautioning him, “The Uchiha feel things very deeply, Obito. Love, hate, grief, all of it. But especially love. It is both our greatest strength and our biggest weakness.” 

Ok so maybe his clan didn’t traditionally have casual, short-term crushes, but it wouldn’t be the first time he didn’t fit the mold with the rest of them! It wasn’t like his previous crush lasted that long! Only a few…years. Well, maybe more than a few. Basically his entire childhood/early teen years, but still! 

He didn’t know if he could even trust these stupid feelings. Given that he spent most of his free time with Kakashi, could he just be imagining or misinterpreting what he was feeling? Or maybe it was like that thing that happened to prisoners when they fell for their captors. Maybe his brain was just broken. 

Actually, it was definitely broken if it was convinced he had romantic feelings for his childhood rival/total jerkface know-it-all teammate. 

Maybe the answer was to spend some time around other people, or even go on a few dates. He was probably just desperate. If he could just convince his brain or hormones or whatever that there were other options, the feelings would probably go away. 

Too bad casual dating was the last thing on his mind. He had a toddler to raise, for fuck’s sake! Any other personal matters or confusing feelings had to come second to Naruto’s well-being. 

Yeah he was definitely not interested because he didn’t have time. Not because he didn’t like the idea of imagining dating other people. Nope, he didn’t care about that at all. 

It would probably be fine if he just gave himself some time to get over this stupid crush he’d developed. In a week, two weeks tops, Kakashi probably would have irritated him enough that any gross romantic feelings would be long gone. 

—--------------------------------

The gross romantic feelings very much did not go away, and seemed to make an appearance at the worst possible times. In fact, Obito felt like he was being so stupidly obvious about it sometimes. Anyone other than notoriously emotionally constipated Kakashi would have probably realized exactly what was going on, but he was thankfully allergic to feelings–no really, one time when the mushy romantic feelings were particularly bad, Kakashi had a terrible sneezing fit out of nowhere. It couldn’t be a coincidence. 

There were a few specific times when The Feelings (as he’d taken to calling them in his head) got particularly bad. 

First, there were the warm, gooey, heartbeat skipping feelings that were very often associated with Kakashi caring for Naruto. It was like there was some ridiculous, primal part of his brain that looked at Kakashi being soft and protective with Naruto and screamed something about being a “good provider”. Which was stupid, because obviously Obito was the better parental figure out of the two of them anyway! 

Exhibit A, during a normal bedtime routine:

Kakashi was supposed to be giving Naruto a quick bath before they put him to bed, but the bath was taking about twice as long as it should have. Obito knew they weren’t dying or something because he could hear Naruto’s laughter from the other room, but he still went to check on what was taking them so long. 

Naruto was splashing around in the tub, giggling and playing with a few floating toys. His entire face lit up when he saw Obito (a reaction that never failed to make Obito feel like a happy pile of mush) and chirped, “Obi play!” 

Based on the purposeful look Kakashi gave him, he was definitely not supposed to agree to continue whatever game Naruto was playing. But how could he say no? Between Naruto’s very effective puppy-dog eyes, and how Kakashi looked with his sleeves rolled up, damp hair and clothes, and slight flush from the warmth radiating off the water, there was absolutely no way Obito could walk out of that room right now. 

“What are we playing?” he asked, grinning cheekily and kneeling beside the tub. He ignored Kakashi’s exasperated sigh. 

“Splash!” Naruto replied happily. He handed Obito one of his toys so he could join in on the “game”. 

“Splash” was the name he’d given to the low-level water jutsus Kakashi used to keep Naruto from fussing in the bath. Kakashi probably regretted employing that particular technique now that Naruto demanded it over and over, but he honestly had no one to blame but himself. He was also a huge pushover (at least when it came to Naruto), because he told Naruto “just one more” at least a dozen times, repeatedly giving in to the toddler’s pleas of “again!” 

“Fine,” Kakashi relented, once more. “But this is really the last time, Naruto. Then you need to dry off and go to bed.” 

Naruto grinned triumphantly. “Again!” 

Sighing, Kakashi made the signs for a jutsu that he’d probably killed people with. But with his precise control and the tiniest sliver of chakra, it turned the bathtub into a very fun wave pool. It also made a mess, splashing over the sides, but Naruto was delighted, so how could either of them be upset? 

And there were The Feelings, once again. The Feelings loved how Naruto had Kakashi wrapped around his little finger. It was so terribly endearing that he completely forgot he was supposed to be playing along with the game too. Instead, he found himself leaning his chin onto his hand, using his elbow on the side of the tub to prop himself up so he could creepily stare at his best friend entertaining a toddler. 

Of course, Kakashi noticed the staring, because he noticed everything (except, apparently, for the painfully obvious crush Obito now had on him) and gave Obito a questioning look. In an effort to look less like a creep, he tried to make a bullshit excuse, then sat up so he was no longer giving Kakashi goo-goo eyes. But of course, since the universe hated him, instead of the entire process going smoothly, his elbow slipped and he ended up hitting his chin on the side of the tub, and biting his tongue in the process. 

Both Kakashi and Naruto laughed at his misery. Why did he have the feeling it wouldn’t be the last time The Feelings made him look like a fool in front of Kakashi? 

And those were just the tooth-rotting, gooey, romantic feelings, which were bad enough. There were also the less innocent get-your-mind-out-of-the-gutter feelings. 

Exhibit B, on one of the hottest days of the year: 

It was hotter than hell outside, and unbearably humid after a few days of light rain that did nothing to bring down the temperature. Naruto had badgered Kakashi into taking him for ice cream, but Obito couldn’t bring himself to move from his spot sprawled out in front of their fan. No, he was content to keep laying on the floor, wishing his ancestors had chosen to settle in the Land of Air Conditioning instead of the Land of Fire. 

He barely reacted when the door opened and Naruto’s squeaky voice called out, “Home!” 

All he could manage was a grunt of acknowledgement, indicating that he was still alive. Naruto followed the sound, padding into the room with a smile on his face and an ice cream cone in his hand. Obito immediately noticed that Naruto had not one, but two giant scoops. He was about halfway through the first one, with no sign of losing his appetite. The ice cream was already melting from the heat, making a sticky mess all over his hand. 

Naruto took one look at the pathetic state Obito was in and giggled, “Obi silly!” 

“I’m dying,” he whined in response, finally sitting up. “But I bet a little bit of ice cream would make me feel better.” 

As he leaned forward to steal some of Naruto’s ice cream, the toddler’s eyes widened in understanding. “Mine! Ask to share!” he pouted, pulling the cone out of reach. 

“Ok, ok, fair enough. Would you please share your ice cream with me?” 

Naruto didn’t even bother thinking about it. “No!” he chirped, before taking off down the hall with his prize. 

Having seen the entire interaction, Kakashi laughed from the other side of the room. “Wow. Kids these days have no respect for their elders,” he teased. 

Obito turned to snap something in response, but he ended up choking on his own spit the moment he saw Kakashi, and found himself unable to get out more than a few pathetic wheezes and coughs. 

Don’t be weird, don’t stare, and definitely don’t activate your Sharingan! 

The current reason for his sudden panic was the sweat soaked shirt that Kakashi was peeling off his torso. He was left in his dark undershirt with the attached face mask that he’d already pulled down to get more airflow. He sighed, and wiped a few droplets of sweat off his brow. 

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at Obito’s sudden coughing fit. “You ok?” 

Obito found his mouth forming words before he had time to actually process anything. “Hot.” He wheezed again and felt himself getting warm all over, and definitely not from the heat. “The weather, I mean. It’s hot,” he said lamely, trying to salvage the situation. 

Kakashi was just staring at him like he was an idiot, per usual. “Yeah, great observational skills.” He rolled his eye, before grabbing the hem of his undershirt. 

“What are you doing?!” It was amazing Obito managed to speak at all, considering how dry his throat had suddenly become. 

“As you so eloquently stated, ‘it’s hot’. My clothes are sweaty and uncomfortable,” Kakashi responded casually, as if he wasn’t actively giving Obito heart palpitations. 

And ok, he’d seen Kakashi without a shirt on before. Many times, in fact! But this was different. His skin was pink from the sun and glistening with sweat, and he let out a very content, breathy sigh once he pulled the undershirt over his head. That left him standing in the living room, all flushed and sweaty and shirtless, and Obito could not handle it . 

Kakashi wiped at his brow again, then stepped away to discard his dirty clothing. Obito breathed a sigh of relief, thinking he was in the clear. Except, when Kakashi returned, he was still shirtless, and now holding a glass of ice water. Which he started drinking, subjecting Obito to the absolutely maddening sight of water droplets cascading down his very attractive friend’s bare chest. 

He must have made some kind of embarrassing noise, because Kakashi was staring at him and frowning. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“Nothing!” Obito responded, far too quickly, and in a far too high-pitched voice. 

Looking genuinely concerned, Kakashi asked, “Did you go outside while we were gone? You’re really flushed, you look like you could have heat exhaustion.” 

“No, no, I’m totally fine! I just don’t handle the heat well because, um–” He gestured toward his synthetic arm. “You know, it’s a plant thing. I, uh, I wilt.” 

Kakashi was still staring at him, as if trying to puzzle something out. “You wilt.” 

“Yup!” Obito laughed awkwardly. “Just totally normal plant stuff. I probably just need some water.”

“Maybe try a cold shower,” Kakashi suggested, completely genuine. “It should help cool you down.” 

“A cold shower sounds like a great idea,” Obito gritted out, before stumbling to his feet and making a tactical retreat down the hall. 

Once again, The Feelings were ruining his life. 

And then, there was the final nail in the coffin that cemented The Feelings as a permanent fixture in his life. How was he supposed to keep The Feelings in check when Kakashi was making a genuine effort to be a half-decent friend? 

Exhibit C, on a night where his own mind turned against him: 

For all the times he’d imagined getting his Sharingan as a child, he’d never thought about the implications of being able to perfectly recall any detail or memory, no matter how much he wished he could forget. He’d never thought about how the Sharingan was most often used in times of high stress or trauma, meaning those were the memories that came to the forefront of the mind. Every shinobi had nightmares, it kind of came with the territory of killing people for a living, but not everyone had a doujutsu that could recall memories so precisely that it blurred the line between dreams and reality.

Obito was alone and in so much pain. He could barely move, from a combination of the bindings keeping his broken body from falling apart, and the agony that spread through every nerve if he tried. And he did try. Repeatedly. Even when old man Madara seemed to finally lose patience with his pathetic escape attempts, staring at him like he was contemplating if it was worth even bothering to keep Obito alive anymore. 

But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was when he was nearly delirious with pain and confusion, screaming for Minato-sensei to save him and raging against the pale, strange creatures that held him back on Madara’s command. 

He felt like a pathetic child, crying for his sensei to come to his rescue, but it wasn’t like he had anyone else. Sensei would come for him, he always came for them when they needed help. 

So where was he? Why was Obito still so alone, and in so much pain?

“No one’s coming for you, boy,” Madara told him impassively. His cold neutrality was somehow way worse than if he’d been sneering. He sounded so sure. “Now, stop struggling, you’re only going to make things worse for yourself.” 

No, no, no he couldn’t stop, he had to fight, had to get out, get back to his team. Back home. He had to, he had to–

It hurt so much. And he was so alone. It hurt, it hurt, so much pain, no he had to get out, someone would find him–no one was coming–keep fighting–no, no, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop–

“--ok. You’re ok. Just breathe.” 

He couldn’t. The bindings were too tight, and his bones were shattered, and he was alone–

“You aren’t alone, I’m here, it’s ok.”

It wasn’t ok, nothing was ok, he couldn’t–no, the bindings weren’t too tight. They were comfortable and…warm? 

“That’s it, I’ve got you. Just breathe.” 

He could. He could breathe. It hurt, but not like before. It was a mild ache, an uncomfortable tightness, but nothing like the sheer agony from before. 

“Keep breathing, it’s ok. You’re ok.” 

No, it wasn’t ok, it was still dark, it was still dark and the cave was–no, it wasn’t. It was dark because his face was pressed up against something, but not because he was still in the cave with Madara. There was no musky cave smell and no eerie echo. Instead, there was the scent of a familiar shampoo, and comforting words spoken in a soothing lilt. 

Enough of his wits had returned by now to realize he’d been dreaming, but it was taking his still panicked brain much longer to process the position he was in. He was sitting up on his bed, which was weird, because he’d definitely fallen asleep laying down like a normal person, and leaning onto something warm and solid. Or rather, someone–

Oh. Kakashi was…hugging him? No, that couldn’t be right, he must still be asleep. 

Except, as his ears stopped ringing and the world stopped feeling like it was tilting, Obito confirmed that there were, in fact, a pair of arms holding him securely. Actually, the only reason he was upright at all was because he was leaning all of his weight onto Kakashi. 

“...what’re you doin’?” Obito managed, his voice muffled against Kakashi’s collarbone. His throat felt raw, like he’d been screaming. 

“What do you think I’m doing?” Kakashi responded, trying to sound irritated but there was a shakiness to his voice that indicated how uncertain he was really feeling. 

With great effort, Obito did manage to lift his head a little. “It kind of feels like you’re hugging me.” 

“You were having a nightmare, and I was worried you were going to hurt yourself,” Kakashi explained. “You were thrashing around and–” From this close, Obito could practically feel how hard Kakashi swallowed before continuing, “You were screaming for Minato-sensei to help you.” 

“...fuck.”

“Do you, um, do you want to talk about it?” Kakashi asked awkwardly. 

Immediately, Obito replied, “No.” 

“Ok.” 

Despite how much Kakashi usually seemed to avoid physical contact, he didn’t seem to be making an effort to let go of Obito. He was definitely kind of stiff and awkward, and didn’t seem to quite know what to do with his hands. They sort of alternated between an attempt at rubbing soothing circles on his back, and some slightly too-rough pats. 

“You’re kind of bad at giving hugs,” Obito commented hoarsely. When Kakashi started to pull away, Obito surprised himself by desperately wrapping his own arms around Kakashi in turn. “Don’t. I’m sorry. Please just–a little bit longer, ok?” He didn’t care how childish or weak he was being; he needed a fucking hug. 

“...ok,” Kakashi replied quietly, relaxing as much as he could manage.

“I’m sorry if this is super awkward,” Obito said, even though he still couldn’t convince himself to stop clinging to his friend like a desperate octopus. “I know you hate physical contact.” 

Kakashi stiffened a bit. “That’s not–” He cut himself off, considering his response carefully. “I don’t hate it, it’s just not something I’m usually comfortable with,” he admitted. “At least, not with most people. With you…” He seemed to debate finishing the statement at all. Then, in barely a whisper, he continued, “It doesn’t really bother me.” 

“Oh.” And really, what else was he supposed to say to that? 

Apparently on a roll with surprisingly emotionally open confessions, Kakashi added, “I know that you’ve always been kind of…tactile. I’m never going to be the type of person to initiate that sort of thing but if you ever need it…” 

Maybe because he was still coming down from his panic, it took Obito far too long to comprehend what Kakashi said. “Are you giving me permission to hug you? Because if you open that floodgate, I can’t make any guarantees for your safety. Or sanity.” He managed a small joke, injecting the barest amount of humor into his voice. 

“I’m not saying I’ll always be ok with it,” Kakashi replied sharply, “but if that’s something you need to…feel better…then…I don’t mind. Sometimes.” 

“Are you sure?” Obito asked, partly to be certain that Kakashi wasn’t offering something he would absolutely hate, but also to make sure Kakashi wouldn’t change his mind. “You’re not gonna freak out and stab me or something if I try to hug you out of nowhere, are you?” 

“...maybe ask first.” 

Obito managed to laugh a little at the reply. “Yeah, there’s the emotionally stunted brat I know.” And love , he didn’t add. 

“Don’t make me take it back,” Kakashi threatened half-heartedly. 

Any chance for a rebuttal was interrupted by the sound of small feet shuffling down the hall, then tentatively pushing the door open. Naruto was standing in the doorway, dragging his Pakkun lookalike plush behind him and blinking sleep from his eyes. He seemed to get a burst of energy when he focused on the scene in front of him. 

“Hug party!” the toddler cheered, before running into the room and leaping onto the bed to turn the comforting embrace into a group hug. 

Most of the remaining tension and stress from his nightmare melted away as Naruto wedged his way between the two of them. He and Kakashi immediately shifted to make room for Naruto in the impromptu “hug party”, letting him feel included. Obito still felt more on edge than normal, but Naruto’s happy babbling was doing wonders for soothing Obito’s remaining anxiety. 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Obito asked, accusatory, even though he really wasn’t upset. 

“Heard sounds,” Naruto responded. He wiggled a little so he could look up at Obito curiously. “Why sad?” he asked, sounding genuinely distressed. 

Obito realized he still had a few stray tears on his face. “Ah.” He wiped at his eye. “I had a bad dream.” 

Naruto made a sympathetic whining noise, and wrapped his tiny little arms as far around Obito’s waist as he could manage. “‘S’okay be scared sometimes. Just make-believe.” 

And now Obito was going to cry for a totally different reason. “Yeah. It’s ok to be scared sometimes,” he agreed, freeing one of his arms so he could wrap it around Naruto’s shoulders. 

“They suck,” Naruto said eloquently, repeating the words Obito had told him after his own nightmare (as much as his little toddler brain could remember). 

“They do suck,” Obito agreed wholeheartedly. 

Naruto shifted away enough that he could wedge his stuffed toy between all three of them. “Pakkun keep safe.” 

Obito happened to glance over toward Kakashi, who was looking at the entire display with a ridiculous amount of tenderness and fondness. He had to look away so he didn’t accidentally start waxing poetically about how stupidly in love he was with his best friend. All of it was almost too much for him–the hug, the comfort after the nightmare, and now this disgustingly wonderful domestic moment between the three of them. 

Feeling choked up, Obito managed to pull Naruto a little closer. “Thanks. I feel better already.” 

Naruto preened, then nuzzled further into Obito’s side. “Love you,” he murmured, like it was the easiest thing in the world. 

Oh, he was definitely crying now. “Love you too.” 

It only got worse when Naruto reached over with his tiny hand so he could grab Kakashi’s arm and add, “Love you.” 

The statement was obviously directed at Kakashi this time, who inhaled sharply. “...you too,” he replied quietly. 

Naruto was so content they couldn’t bear to take him back to his own bed, but they did manage to rearrange themselves into a less awkward configurement and ended up laying down across from each other. The Feelings were out in full force, mushy and overpowering as ever, as he realized he and Kakashi were about to sleep in the same bed . And yeah, Naruto was between them so obviously it was completely innocent, but it still made his heart do really weird flip-floppy things. The domesticity was terribly– wonderfully –nauseating. 

Compared to the contentment Obito was feeling, Kakashi was starting to look a bit wide-eyed and panicked. Like he was thinking of bolting. He couldn’t, at least not right this second, because Naruto was still holding his arm. Naruto was already starting to snore, but Kakashi would probably still stay, even if he was uncomfortable, just because Naruto obviously wanted him here. 

“You can go if you’re uncomfortable,” Obito whispered, “I can say you had to go to the bathroom or something if he wakes up.” 

“It’s not that,” Kakashi whispered back. “He just–he’s never said that to me before.” 

It took Obito a second to figure out what Kakashi meant. “Oh. He just started saying it pretty recently, but you were gone. His attention span is shorter than a gnat’s, I’m sure it wasn’t personal that he hadn’t said it to you before.” Naruto had been repeating the word “love” for quite a while, since it was very frequently used in his presence (Obito made sure of it), but it was only recently that he actually understood what it meant and started to put together sentences with the word. At least, what it meant in his own simple, toddler way. 

And even though Obito would normally take any opportunity to gloat and claim that Naruto loved him more, now was obviously not the right time. Kakashi was clearly being honest, and vulnerable. He didn’t actually want Kakashi to think Naruto loved one of them more than the other, it was just that Obito did spend more time with him since he wasn’t taking missions. He tended to get to see milestones before Kakashi, just because he was with Naruto more often than Kakashi. But anyone could tell that Naruto adored Kakashi too. 

“I know. I’m not offended, or anything,” Kakashi assured him, looking at Naruto instead of meeting Obito’s eye. “I just–” He sounded a little choked up himself, but of course kept it together far better than Obito. “It’s a lot. To know that someone–I mean, the last person who–” 

Kakashi didn’t finish what he was saying, but Obito could practically hear the end of the sentence; “The last person who told me they loved me was my dad.” 

“I get it,” Obito replied, because he really did. “I mean, we’re a couple of fucked up messes, and we’ve got this sweet little kid who loves us anyway. And like, we’re responsible for him. Us.” He couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “It is a lot.” 

Barely audible, Kakashi whispered, “It’s terrifying.” 

“Yeah, it is,” Obito agreed. “But it’s pretty awesome too, isn’t it?” 

Kakashi turned his head a little so they could properly look at each other. His expression softened. “Yeah, I guess it is.” 

Ok, so maybe The Feelings weren’t the worst thing in the world. Because the way he felt right now, in that moment? Obito genuinely couldn’t remember the last time he felt so content and, dare he say, happy. He looked between Naruto’s chubby face, completely lax with sleep, and the soft smile Kakashi now had on his own face and he couldn’t help but think, yeah, this is where I’m meant to be.

—--------------------------------

“Can you tell story?” Naruto batted his eyelashes and stuck out his lower lip, having mastered the art of manipulation via adorableness. He asked for a story pretty much every night now, so the request wasn’t particularly surprising anyway. 

Obito was quick to relent, “Ok, we have time for a quick story. Do you want a book?” 

“No,” Naruto insisted, shaking his head. “Yours are better.” 

He’d come to expect this too, but it still made him preen a little. Naruto was starting to prefer the fantastical tales Obito came up with, which was of course totally understandable since he was such a masterful story-teller. “You want a make-believe story?” 

This time, Naruto nodded wildly. “Yes! Yes!” 

Obito laughed lightly at Naruto’s enthusiasm. “Ok, ok. Just gimme a minute, alright?” Most of the stories he told were slightly exaggerated versions of real missions he’d been on, half-remembered movie plots, or clan stories he’d been told from his grandmother. Naruto didn’t know it, but he’d already learned quite a bit about the Uchiha clan’s history. 

“Story now!” Naruto whined. 

“Don’t be a brat,” Obito chastised, poking Naruto playfully in the stomach. 

Naruto giggled, “Brat!” 

“Yeah that’s you,” Obito said affectionately. “Ok, here’s your story; once upon a time, there was a wise and powerful king that ruled over a prosperous kingdom. The king’s name was, um–” It was time to improvise a bit. “...King Shminato. And the king had three super awesome, brave knights named Sir Bakashi, the arrogant, Lady…Ran, the patient, and Sir, uh–” He thought for a minute, tapping his chin. “Ah! Sir Tobi, the coolest and strongest knight of all.” 

There was a snort of laughter from across the room, where Kakashi was leaning on the doorframe and not bothering to hide his amused smirk. “The coolest and strongest knight, huh?” 

“Shut up. I’m in the zone.” Obito waved Kakashi off. He attributed the heat on his own face to embarrassment, and definitely not because the way Kakashi was smirking was making him feel a certain way that he really didn’t want to be feeling. “Anyway,” he coughed awkwardly, “everyone loved the king, and everyone admired his three students–I mean, knights. Especially Sir Tobi.” 

“But ‘Sir Tobi’ was always late to everything,” Kakashi added cheekily. “He was even late to his own knighting ceremony.” 

Obito turned to glare at Kakashi. “You know what, I was mistaken; there were only two knights. Bakashi was just a jester who pretended to be a knight. So,” he tuned out whatever response Kakashi gave, “one day the two knights and the court jester were given a very dangerous task, one that only the bravest knights–and mediocre jesters–could manage.” At least his stupid crush didn’t ruin his willingness to insult Kakashi at a moment's notice. 

Naruto didn’t quite understand everything that was being said, but he was already entranced by the story. He clutched at his blanket, listening intently. 

“The brave knights, and the stupid jester,” he continued, “would have to face the most vicious, bloodthirsty monster in all the kingdom. A beast so fearsome, even just whispering its name could make all but the bravest knights flee in terror; The savage, horrifying Tora! With razor sharp claws as thick as tree branches, and giant fangs that could pierce any armor–oh and venom! And it breathes fire! And it has two–no wait– three heads!” He made growling noises for emphasis, prompting more laughter from Kakashi. 

Naruto imitated the growling sounds, snuggling deeper into his nest of blankets. “A big monster! Grrrrr!” 

“Yup, you got it,” Obito chuckled. “Ok so where was I? Right–the brave knights and the court jester were about to face down the mighty Tora! The king knew there was no one else he could trust with such a dangerous task. The awesome, brave, and super handsome Sir Tobi obviously led the charge, because he was the best knight in the whole village–I mean kingdom. He rushed in, sword drawn and ready to strike down the beast!”

Kakashi snorted in laughter again. “Oh, he definitely rushed in. That was how he ended up getting absolutely shredded by Tora. And crying about it.” 

Obito shot Kakashi a venomous glare. “He got shredded because he was willing to put himself in danger to protect his fellow knights. And he didn’t cry.” 

“He got shredded because he tried to grab Tora by the tail,” Kakashi retorted. “And he definitely did cry.”

“He didn’t cry, he just got dust in his eyes!” 

“Funny how that seemed to happen to him a lot,” Kakashi chuckled. 

“Well, at least Sir Tobi tried to do something!” Obito countered. “The lowly jester Bakashi just waited until everyone else tired Tora out, then he took all the credit for catching her!” 

Shrugging, Kakashi replied, “It’s called working smarter, not harder.” 

“No, it’s called being an asshole. Sir Tobi still has scars from Tora’s claws!” He pointed to a faint scar on the inside of his forearm.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “Oh, that? I thought Naruto colored on you or something. That’s hardly a scar.” 

“Why you–” 

“Shush. You don’t want to wake him, do you?” Kakashi gestured toward the now dozing toddler. Despite the story devolving into a stupid argument, it had still successfully lulled Naruto to sleep. 

Since he couldn’t yell without risking waking Naruto, he settled for giving Kakashi the finger. Naruto was a very heavy sleeper, but not heavy enough to ignore screaming right in front of him. He gave Naruto a quick kiss on the forehead, before turning off the lights (minus the dog-themed night light, of course). He left the door slightly ajar so they could hear Naruto if he needed anything. 

Kakashi had disappeared from where he’d been leaning in the doorway, and was already waiting in the living room. In an unspoken agreement, they both started picking up the mess of toys that Naruto had left. It was probably a futile effort, because Naruto would just make another mess tomorrow. 

“I’m leaving in the morning,” Kakashi told him, sounding apologetic. 

“Gonna go slay some monsters?” Obito joked dryly, hoping to hide the normal anxiety he felt whenever Kakashi left on a mission. It was probably stupid to worry over him, considering his track record, but Obito couldn’t help it. Kakashi wasn’t actually invincible, even if he sometimes acted like it. 

“Something like that,” Kakashi sighed, looking surprisingly forlorn. 

What was that about? Kakashi was normally ready to throw himself into whatever dangerous task the village demanded of him. He didn’t usually act so hesitant. “What’s wrong?” 

Kakashi looked apologetic again. “I don’t know if I’ll make it back for Naruto’s birthday. Lord Third said this will likely be a pretty long mission.” 

“Ah. The kid’s not gonna take that well. Not that it’s your fault!” he assured Kakashi. 

“It’s weird,” Kakashi replied. “I never really had a reason to want to hurry back from a mission before. Now…” He was holding one of Naruto’s toys, staring at it with a complicated expression. “Sometimes I don’t even want to leave.” The admission was quiet. 

Per usual, making a joke was easier than actually acknowledging the emotional vulnerability. “Can’t say I blame you, I’m pretty awesome to be around.” When Kakashi gave him a nasty look, Obito laughed and held his hands up in surrender. “I’m kidding! Look,” he said, more seriously, “I think it’s a good thing. You’re finally living, Bakashi, and not just for whatever your next mission is. Congratulations, you’re almost a functional person!” 

Kakashi punched him in the arm. “Shut up, dead last.” Despite the violent reaction, he seemed to be carefully considering what Obito said. 

“You know, everyone might think you’re an emotionless prick, but you’re actually kind of a softie, aren’t you?” Obito teased. 

In response, Kakashi channeled a small amount of lightning in his hand and electrocuted Obito with it. Obito screamed so loud (from being surprised, not scared! There was a big difference!) that he woke Naruto up, and subsequently spent the next few hours trying to convince the toddler that he wasn’t missing some kind of super fun playtime and that he should just go back to sleep. 

Because of his disrupted sleep schedule, Naruto was dead asleep when Kakashi left in the morning. He looked genuinely sad about leaving without a proper goodbye, and also seemed to be feeling a little guilty about possibly missing Naruto’s birthday. 

“Hey,” he called out, just as Kakashi was reaching for the door. 

Kakashi turned back to look at him, his eyebrow raised expectantly. 

“You better hurry your ass back. I don’t want to have to deal with the pathetic look on your face I know you’ll get if you miss Naruto’s birthday,” Obito grinned. 

Rolling his eye, Kakashi replied, “I’ll do my best.” He hesitated, then added, “Even if I do miss it, I’ll make it up to him. I promise.” 

“You better!” 

Another eye roll, followed by a quick wave, and Kakashi was out the door. Obito stared at the door long after Kakashi was gone, trying to convince himself, as he always did when Kakashi left on a mission, that he had nothing to worry about.

Chapter Text

When it came to planning for Naruto’s birthday, it became more and more likely that Kakashi wouldn’t be making it back in time. Of course, Obito was obviously the better party planner between the two of them, but it was still nice to have Kakashi around for stuff like that. 

Naruto certainly thought so. He got poutier and whinier with each day that Kakashi didn’t return from his mission. Now that he was old enough to understand the basic concept of a birthday party, he was becoming increasingly demanding about what he wanted to do and who he wanted to be there. And Kakashi was at the top of the guest list. 

“Uncle” Gai was second on the list, and Obito really wasn’t sure what to think about that.

To make matters worse, Obito also had to deal with the nasty glares and harsh whispers that worsened around this time every year. Luckily, Naruto didn’t seem to understand what the words meant, or who they were directed at, even if he was becoming more aware of the general negativity around him. 

Conversely, Obito understood very well why people hissed the word “monster” at his sweet little brother. He also understood why people hissed the word “traitor” at him, and he also knew it was the same reason that barely any of the Uchiha were leaving the Compound in or around this particular day. The rumors about seeing a Sharingan reflected in the Kyuubi’s eyes really hadn’t lessened with time. If anything, they'd only gotten worse. 

It was also why they couldn’t celebrate Naruto’s birthday on the actual day. Not only was there already a huge festival that any potential guests would probably be attending, angry villagers were also more likely to go out of their way to try to hurt or scare Naruto that day. During previous years, it was much easier for him and Kakashi to keep Naruto occupied at home and out of sight of the villagers. But now, Naruto was old enough to whine and complain about being stuck at home for so long, and he was also old enough to notice the ongoing set up for the upcoming festivities. And of course, that meant he wanted to be part of it. 

That was how Obito got roped into attending the festival that he’d ardently avoided for the past few years. All it took was 15 seconds of Naruto’s best pouty face for Obito to give in and agree to take the toddler to the “super fun colorful place”. He dressed Naruto in his best outfit (AKA an adorable puppy onesie that included a tail and a hood with floppy ears) and made him promise to be on his best behavior. 

Naruto was practically vibrating with excitement, and kept trying to run ahead to go explore. Obito held Naruto’s hand tighter, preventing him from going off on his own. “Stay close, ok?” 

“M’kay,” Naruto chirped in response. He didn’t stop trying to pull Obito along, hopping and skipping and doing everything he could think of to try to make Obito walk faster. “Lets go lets go!” 

Since Naruto had very short little legs, Obito barely had to adjust his stride to appease the toddler. “I’m going,” he replied, keeping a careful eye on the crowd around them. It parted almost comically around them as the energetic jinchuuriki bounced around, cheerfully unaware. 

The streets were lined with stalls manned by vendors who were waving their hands and proudly showing off their stock. There was almost every kind of food imaginable, many of which were fried or on a skewer. Some of the vendors had cakes and sweets that probably weighed nearly as much as Naruto. It all smelled delicious, if a little overwhelming. 

It wasn’t just food, though. There were an equal number of stalls with games and merchandise as well. Masks, costumes, toys, wooden or rubber weapons, as well as other prizes and keepsakes. The games ranged from a simple ring toss for the younger kids, all the way to a jounin-level competition with real shinobi weapons and a line of targets. There were children running around with stuffed toys that they could barely carry, and drunken shinobi stumbling into one another. The mood was light, despite the memories associated with the date. 

This was the first time Obito had attended, but he’d been told by some of their friends that the first festival had been much more subdued. There were some older citizens who clearly found the celebration distasteful, and skulked in the shadows with a scowl or a sneer, but most people were either too swept up in the celebration (or too drunk) to give too much thought to what the day really represented. 

It wasn’t as if there was no one mourning. The Hokage would give a special speech, and then there would be the annual memorial service honoring those who lost their lives to the fox’s rampage. There would be candles lit for all of them, and soft words of remembrance and longing whispered to people that would never hear them. 

Including Sensei and Kushina. Especially Sensei. Flocks of mourners weeping for their beloved lost Hokage, acting like they truly understood what his death meant. Pretending that they weren’t dishonoring his memory by singing his praises with one breath, and then ostracizing his precious son with the next. Acting like their hands that traced Minato-sensei’s name reverently on the memorial wouldn’t also be used to harm Naruto if given the chance. 

The thought made Obito pull Naruto a little closer. Naruto whined a little in response, looking up at Obito with an adorable little pout. “Big brother, you are slow!” 

“No, you’re impatient. Do you know what ‘impatient’ means?” Obito responded fondly. 

“Nope!” Naruto grinned, still happily skipping along. He stopped suddenly when one of the stalls caught his attention. “Wanna go there!” He pointed toward one of the food stalls, which admittedly did have a heavenly smell coming from it, then started trying to pull Obito forward again. 

He let himself be dragged forward. “Ok, ok,” he chuckled, purposefully dragging his feet a little just to irritate Naruto. 

“Slooooooow!” Naruto whined.

He purposely slowed down again. “I can’t help it, my feet are just so, so heavy all of a sudden.” 

The look Naruto gave him was shockingly scathing for an adorable toddler. “Big brother!” 

“Fine,” Obito relented with a chuckle, finally letting Naruto pull him over to the food stall. 

There was an older man handing out something that was fried and on a stick to a couple of young kids. He smiled and laughed at something one of the kids said, then happily waved as they walked away with their treat. He turned as Naruto skipped up to the stall, his smile falling and his face paling. Obito immediately got a bad feeling. 

Naruto, of course, was oblivious. “Hi!” he grinned, bouncing with excitement. “Can I have a yummy? Please?” He pointed at one of the skewers. 

The man’s face twisted into something unpleasant and he turned away without offering a response. Naruto seemed more confused than discouraged, but Obito understood what the dismissal meant. As tempting as it was to give the old guy a piece of his mind, Obito knew it was a bad idea. He gritted his teeth and gently tugged on Naruto’s hand to try to get his attention. 

“Come on, let’s go somewhere else,” he told Naruto carefully. 

Naruto seemed unconvinced. “But we are taking turns really good! Our turn now!” 

“I know, you’re doing a really good job waiting for your turn.” Obito patted him on the head affectionately. “This guy is the one being a jerkface.” 

The man continued to ignore them. Fortunately, Naruto wasn’t old enough to start asking particularly thoughtful questions. However, he was old enough to throw a tantrum about not getting his way. 

“Not fair!” he whined. “Our turn! Our turn!” The declaration was accompanied by a few angry little foot stomps and a rather impressive pout. 

The man working the stall scoffed and muttered under his breath, “Of course the little beast has no manners.” 

Oh, he did not just say that. Not to Obito’s sweet, perfect little brother. “Oi, you have something to say?” He glared at the man, as viciously as he could manage. 

Still not turning to face him, the man replied, “Not to you, and not to that thing .” 

“The fuck did you just say?” 

This time, the man did turn toward him. “You heard me. What the hell did you expect, bringing that here? On tonight of all nights?” He scoffed, “There’s nothing here for either of you. Get lost.” 

“Why you–” Obito didn’t quite manage to rein in his killing intent in time to keep Naruto’s ever-present ANBU guard from shifting uneasily in the shadows. He could also feel the nearest trees at the edge of his awareness, as if waiting to respond to his Moukuton. 

Obito felt tiny hands tugging on his shirt. He looked down into Naruto’s big blue eyes, shining with confusion. “Big brother? Wha’s happening?” 

He looked away from Naruto’s innocent expression, swallowing his pride, and stifling his killing intent. He grabbed Naruto’s hand again, then gently tugged him away from the food stall, putting on a fake smile in hopes of keeping him feeling safe and content. “C’mon, kiddo. We don’t wanna buy from someone who doesn’t even have basic manners, right?” 

Even though he didn’t fully understand what was going on, Naruto nodded rapidly in agreement. “Right!” He stuck his tongue out at the shopkeeper, before letting himself be tugged along. 

They tried another stall, then another, and another, and so on, but all ended with similar results. They were either ignored, insulted, or lied to about the stall being out of stock. 

At that point, Naruto was really starting to whine and pout, dangerously close to a full on tantrum. He was hungry, and he couldn’t understand why they kept being turned away. His already chubby cheeks were puffed out indignantly, and he was mumbling constant complaints under his breath. 

Just as Obito was about to give up, he spotted their salvation. “Hey,” he nudged Naruto’s shoulder, “look over there.”

Naruto follows his gaze, his sullen mood instantly melting away. “Old man Teuchi!” Once again, he tried to drag Obito forward. 

This time, Obito relented, because he knew the outcome would be much better. He still didn’t let go of Naruto’s hand, since they had to weave in and out of the crowd, but he did speed up so they could reach the ramen stall more quickly. 

Unlike the other vendors, Teuichi’s face lit up when he saw Naruto, and he offered a friendly wave. “Ah, there’s the birthday boy! Perfect timing, I was just wondering who was going to eat this extra special bowl of ramen for me!”

They reached the stall, which had a smaller, specialty menu for the festival, and Naruto leaned up on his tiptoes so he could see better. “Me, me! Wanna special bowl!”

“You hear that, Ayame? One extra special bowl of ramen for the birthday boy! 

Ayame smiled politely, while Naruto jumped up and down and cheered. The patrons that had been hanging around by the ramen stall all looked at Naruto distastefully, before walking away without buying anything. Obito felt guilty about the old man losing business because of them, but Teuchi didn’t seem bothered. 

He seemed to follow Obito’s train of thought and waved his hand dismissively. “Eh, who needs ‘em? I’ve got my number one customer right here!” He reached over to ruffle Naruto’s hair affectionately while his daughter worked on putting a bowl together for him. 

Naruto giggled, absolutely delighted with the attention and completely oblivious to the crowd’s avoidance. His eyes widened comically when Ayame set the bowl of ramen in front of him. 

“One extra special bowl of birthday ramen,” she chuckled. It was probably similar to the kind of ramen they always got, but with a little extra flair for the festival. 

As expected, Naruto didn’t notice or care that it was basically the same meal he always ate. He barely stopped to take a breath before diving into the bowl and shoveling noodles into his mouth like he’d never been taught even the most basic manners. In fact, Obito had to clear his throat three times before he caught Naruto’s attention and reminded him to thank Teuchi and his daughter. 

In a low voice, Obito said, “Thanks for that. The poor kid’s been ignored or turned away from every other stall so far.” He pulled out his wallet to pay for Naruto’s dinner.

Teuchi shook his head and crossed his arms. “Absolutely not, it’s a birthday present.”

“But—“

Teuchi waved a spoon threateningly. “Respect your elders, boy!” 

“Ok, ok! Thank you,” he replied genuinely. 

“It’s the least I can do,” Teuchi said sadly. Then, he lowered his voice and added, “It was a kind thing you did, taking the kid in. His parents would be very pleased to see what a fine young boy he’s becoming.”

As if on cue, Naruto belched loudly. 

“Naruto!” Obito scolded. “That was rude!”

Teuchi and his daughter laughed at Naruto’s sheepish expression and half-hearted apology. 

“Oh, he reminds me of another young Uzumaki I used to know,” Teuchi whispered fondly. “They have the same spirit, I think.”

“And the same stubbornness,” Obito added with a snort. 

Chuckling, Teuchi replied, “I can only imagine.” He hummed thoughtfully, then started preparing a second bowl for Naruto. “And perhaps the same appetite?” 

“Definitely,” Obito agreed. 

Teuchi set a second bowl of ramen down in front of Naruto, which the kid immediately dove into again. He slurped his noodles, hardly stopping to actually taste anything. But he was obviously happy. With his tiny attention span, the earlier discontent was nothing more than a very distant memory.

Naruto was just finishing his second bowl when they both caught the familiar sound of boisterous laughter amongst the crowd. Naruto grinned, and was halfway out of his seat before he remembered to look to Obito for permission. 

Obito judged the distance between them and their target to be short enough, and clear enough from the crowd, to let Naruto go a little wild. He nodded and motioned for Naruto to go ahead. 

With a squeal of delight, Naruto jumped up from his seat and took off toward a familiar green blur. “Uncle Gai!” Naruto wasn’t even remotely shy about running up to him on his stubby little legs and demanding attention. Although, he wasn’t really shy with anyone , even though he should probably be a bit more wary of strangers. 

Gai grinned widely as he reached down to pick up Naruto. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite bundle of youthful energy!” He immediately started playfully bouncing him, prompting a round of delighted giggles from the toddler. 

The kid had come a long way from the temperamental infant that screamed when he was jostled too much. Now, he absolutely loved a little bit of playful roughhousing. His boisterous personality, combined with his jinchuuriki durability, definitely shaved a few years off of Obito’s life. Given how much Naruto already thrived on adrenaline, he was going to be an absolute menace when he was older. 

Obito thanked Teuchi and his daughter again, and tried one more time to pay, but the old man actually hit him with his spoon this time. He left the ramen stand with a fresh bump on his head, which he rubbed at gingerly. Civilians could be surprisingly scary sometimes. After, he strolled over to join Gai and Naruto, chuckling as he overheard Naruto talking a mile a minute about the delicious ramen he’d just eaten and every little thing he did that day.

“—then saw big bug! Like this!” Naruto chirped, gesturing wildly with his little arms. 

Gai chuckled heartily. “What an excellent day you’ve been having! Of course I’d expect nothing less from your hip and cool guardian!” 

“Hip and cool!” Naruto parroted. 

Obito failed to suppress a grimace. He really didn’t want Naruto to start talking like Gai. Although, Kakashi would be horrified, which would be funny…

Naruto was still telling Gai about his day, prompting blinding grins and raucous laughter from the man. He didn’t slow down his storytelling as Obito approached. Meanwhile, Gai aimed a dazzling smile in his direction. 

“Hello, closest friend of my beloved rival!” Gai exclaimed, as soon as there was an opening in Naruto’s story. “How do you fare on this fine evening?”

Obito just shrugged. “Ok. We had a bit of a rough time,” he admitted. He didn’t need to elaborate, gesturing toward a few of the vendors that were still giving Naruto the stink-eye. 

“How unfortunate!” Gai exclaimed, his expression barely changing. “Well, I am most pleased to see you and your young charge in such high spirits despite the rough start to this evening’s festivities!” 

“Thanks?” Obito wasn’t entirely sure if he was just given a compliment, but Gai seemed happy about the acknowledgement so Obito didn’t take it back. “Naruto’s a pretty resilient kid,” he added fondly. “He’s easy to please, too.” 

“How marvelous!” Gai bounced Naruto a few more times, both of them laughing and making a scene. 

Obito just chuckled at the display, finally feeling like he could relax a bit. Naruto was happy, and that was all that mattered. “I’m glad we ran into you,” he admitted. “Naruto wanted to ask you something important. Right, kiddo?”

Naruto nodded wildly. “Yeah yeah! Uncle Gai come to party?” 

Obito leaned over and whispered a quick explanation of the toddler’s barely coherent question. “He wants to invite you to his birthday party next week.” 

Grinning, Gai exclaimed, “I would be honored to accept your invitation!” He spun Naruto around again. 

“Fair warning, there will be a whole pack of toddlers there,” Obito warned. As an afterthought, he added, “And also a handful of elite shinobi; Naruto has a very strange and varied guest list.” 

Naruto didn’t exactly have a lot of “traditional” friendships. Most parents wouldn’t let their kids near him, so play dates were mostly out of the question. Some of Minato and Kushina’s friends or teammates with kids around Naruto’s age had introduced them, and then a few of the civilians he was on good terms with brought their kids around too.

But mostly, it was Obito and Kakashi’s agemates that stopped by to play with Naruto. Naruto had no idea that he had a not insignificant portion of the village’s best chunin and jounin already wrapped around his little finger. Hence how he ended up with a guest list consisting of a bunch of toddlers, and some of Konoha’s most notorious shinobi. 

(Funnily enough, Ibiki actually did some excellent impression work. If T&I didn’t work out, he could probably have a future as a children’s entertainer.)

As expected, Gai wasn’t the least bit bothered by Naruto’s bizarre guest list. “It sounds like it will be a glorious occasion!” His cheerful demeanor dipped ever-so-slightly as he asked, “I take it my external rival has still not returned from his previous engagement?” 

“No,” Obito confirmed, trying not to sulk. “I’m hoping he’ll be back in time but it’s not looking promising.” 

Gai nodded solemnly. “How like my rival, always working so hard! I admire his work ethic!” He looked at Naruto apologetically. “But I do find myself wishing he was perhaps a little less enthusiastic with his professional matters at times.” 

“You and me both,” Obito snorted. “I’ve talked to him about quitting ANBU but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Stubborn jackass.” 

Because the universe hated him, Naruto giggled and parroted, “Jackass!”

“That’s a bad word that only adults can use, we’ve talked about this!” he chastised. 

Naruto giggled again, but thankfully did not repeat the word. “Bad word! Bad word!” he chirped happily. 

“Brat,” Obito replied fondly, taking Naruto back from Gai. He flicked him on the nose playfully. “If anyone asks, Kakashi taught you that bad word, ok?” 

Naruto squealed, “Obi says bad words!” 

Gai laughed at their silly back and forth, before becoming distracted by some kind of ridiculous endurance game. He bid both of them goodbye, and promised profusely that he would attend Naruto’s party (“If I break this promise, I will walk on my hands for the entire week as penance!”) and that he’d bring a gift. Naruto was thrilled with the declaration.

After parting ways with Gai, they ran into a few more of their friends and acquaintances, and Naruto gave out more invitations to his party. They also managed to find a couple stalls that didn’t turn Naruto away, but their luck wasn’t holding out. Obito had what he thought was a brilliant idea to buy them both a set of masks for anonymity, but he quickly realized that his plan was going to backfire. 

“Are you sure you don’t want a different one?” Obito asked, casting nervous glances at the whispering crowd around them. Of all the masks Naruto could have picked, why did he have to choose that one?

Naruto nodded, still blissfully unaware of the scrutiny. He continued to point at the mask he had his eye on. “Doggy! Like Pakkun!”

“No,” Obito explained softly, “it’s a fox. It’s, um, kind of like a dog but different. Foxes play tricks on people and live in the woods. And they’re really stinky.” He tried his best to dissuade Naruto without outright telling him no. 

Except, his explanation seemed to have the opposite effect. Naruto gasped and started bouncing in place from excitement. “Wanna be fox! Like fox!” 

Predictably, the crowd around them murmured and hissed insults, glaring at Naruto judgmentally. Obito grimaced, but made a point of glaring right back. Fine, if Naruto wanted a fox mask, he’d get a fox mask. 

Ignoring all the whispers around them (and his temper rising again in response), Obito grabbed the child sized mask for Naruto. For good measure, to make a point that he didn’t give a shit what other people said, he grabbed an adult sized fox mask for himself too. The vendor didn’t want to let him buy them at first, but something in Obito’s expression quickly changed his mind. The guy visibly paled, and audibly gulped, before he snatched the money from Obito’s hand and then shoved the pair of masks into his arms. 

Obito gave the vendor and surrounding crowd a final glare, then helped Naruto affix the mask on his face. He donned his own shortly after. They set off again, back into the maze of stalls and vendors. To his surprise, the masks did actually seem to help. Once they left the area where they’d bought the masks, they blended into the crowd pretty well. People didn’t seem to recognize them, and started to treat them just like any other patrons. No one gave them a second glance, or looked too closely at the blond hair peeking out from Naruto’s “disguise”. Naruto was finally able to go to all the stalls he wanted, even though Obito didn’t want to give money to the ones that were rude to them. 

Naruto ate his fill and played every game he could find, happily bouncing from stall to stall. They won so many prizes that Obito actually had to put a bunch of them in a sealing scroll to be able to carry it all home comfortably. Obito mourned his poor wallet, and how much lighter it felt after spending so much on food and games, but he couldn’t regret it. How could he, when Naruto was having such a good time? 

Before long, Naruto was starting to drag a little. It was unsurprising, given the amount of activity he’d done and all the heavy foods he’d eaten. He insisted on walking by himself, but Obito could hear his little feet scuffing the ground as he got drowsier and drowsier. 

Eventually, Obito scooped him up, ignoring the half-hearted protest he got in response. 

“If you let me carry you, I promise we can stay out a little longer to see the fireworks,” Obito compromised. 

“M’kay,” Naruto slurred in response, desperately fighting to keep his head up. 

He didn’t know if Naruto would manage to stay awake much longer, but he wanted to give him the chance to see the fireworks up close. They could see them from their house, of course, but it wasn’t the same as being right under them. Naruto had been fascinated by them ever since the first festival/his first birthday. Obito knew he’d been looking forward to seeing them. 

“I know a good spot,” he told Naruto, before jumping up onto the nearest rooftop. He held Naruto carefully as he leapt from roof to roof, doing his best to avoid the worst of the crowds. 

After a few chakra-assisted shortcuts, they arrived in front of the stone faces of the Hokage. Obito glanced upward, lifting his mask, sending a silent greeting to Minato-sensei. Then, he carried Naruto up to the top, settling both of them on top of the Yondaime’s head. He sat down between one of Minato-sensei’s hair spikes and discarded his mask completely. 

Unsurprisingly, when he pulled off Naruto’s mask, the kid’s eyes were closed. Obito chuckled quietly and Naruto’s nose scrunched in response. 

“Awake,” he slurred, sounding very much like someone who was barely still conscious. 

“You can go to sleep if you want,” Obito assured him. 

“No,” Naruto protested weakly, forcing his eyes open just a crack. 

When the fireworks started, Naruto became a little more alert, but still stayed snuggled in Obito’s arms. He let his head lean against his guardian’s shoulder, sighing contently. 

Naruto gasped quietly as the first few booms sounded. “Whoa. Pretty.” 

“Mhm,” Obito agreed, rubbing Naruto’s back absent-mindedly. 

Naruto was silent for a few booms, so Obito thought he was asleep until he sleepily muttered, “Fun today.” 

“I had fun today too.” Even though parts of it were very stressful, the day ultimately ended up pretty good. 

“Almost best birthday ever,” Naruto murmured, “just needs Kashi.” Then, he seemed to lose the fight against the pull of sleep. In the next breath he was snoring quietly, somehow snoozing right through the loud booms and bright bursts of light and color. 

Obito couldn’t help but agree. “I miss him too,” he admitted quietly. He kept rubbing Naruto’s back soothingly, even though the toddler was already fast asleep. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Besides, he said he’d make it up to you if he missed your birthday. He promised, remember?”

Since he’d fallen asleep, Naruto didn’t respond. It was probably for the best that Naruto didn’t hear him, because Obito wasn’t sure if his words sounded particularly convincing. He’d had a bad feeling since Kakashi left, and it still wasn’t going away. 

—--------------------------------

Obito found out in the worst way that his bad feeling was right. Kakashi didn’t make it back in time for Naruto’s birthday, and there was still no word about him or his mission in the following few weeks. Naruto asked about Kakashi every day now, getting increasingly whiny and worried, and Obito didn’t have any answers to appease him. 

He got desperate and tried to get the Hokage to tell him something, anything about Kakashi’s status, but he was unsuccessful. The old man just smiled placatingly and reminded Obito that Kakashi’s mission was highly classified, as all ANBU missions were, so he couldn’t give out any information. Obito swore the ANBU guarding the Hokage’s office were giving him pitying looks on his way out, but of course they didn’t offer any information either. 

When Obito finally got news about Kakashi, it came unexpectedly in the middle of the night. He found himself awoken by alerts from their proximity seals and alarms, followed by a frantic pounding on the front door. Understandably, Obito answered with an abundance of caution; a clone left to guard Naruto, and a kunai ready to strike in his own hand. He did relax minutely when he recognized the presence on the other side of the door, but he didn’t let his suspicion abate. It was still a weird time for a visit from a friend. 

Opening the door, Obito sleepily called out, “Gai?” He rubbed at his eye as if trying to clear the vision in front of him. “Why the fuck are you knocking on my door in the middle of the night?” Obito knew he was being rude, but he couldn’t find the will to care because of the late hour. He’d been dead asleep, for fuck’s sake! 

Gai looked as far from his normal cheerful, care-free demeanor as possible. It was a stark contrast from how lively he’d been at Naruto’s party last week. “I am truly sorry for disturbing you, my friend, but I’m afraid it’s urgent. It pertains to my beloved rival.” 

Instantly, Obito felt wide awake. “What happened? Is he…?” He couldn’t even bring himself to say it. Kakashi was fine, he had to be! He was too stubborn to die. 

If anything happened to Kakashi, Obito didn’t know what he’d do. It felt like his heart was in his stomach, or maybe he was just going to vomit. He’d already lost Rin, and Kushina, and Minato-sensei; he couldn’t lose Kakashi too. Not Kakashi, who was supposed to be invincible.

“He appears physically unharmed,” Gai assured him. 

Obito almost wanted to collapse from relief. “Thank fuck.” But that didn’t explain why Gai was here. Obviously something was still wrong. “Tell me what happened, Gai.” 

Gai nodded solemnly. “I was just ending my gate duty shift when I spotted my beloved rival walking by himself. Since I myself do enjoy the occasional late night stroll, I opted to greet him, but he did not seem to hear me. I could see that he looked particularly forlorn this night,” he explained. “Upon further investigation, I realized my rival was heading toward the Memorial Stone, so I followed him with the intention of providing my company.” 

“Let me guess; he turned you away?” Obito sighed. 

“He did indeed,” Gai confirmed. “Ordinarily I would not find this concerning, as my rival often requests solitude, but I had a particularly bad feeling about his sour mood this night. I find myself concerned about his subdued demeanor, and I cannot see him opening up to anyone besides yourself.” 

While Gai could be quite prone to exaggeration, Obito didn’t doubt that his concerns were valid. For as ridiculous and boisterous as the man could be, he wasn’t stupid. He also knew Kakashi better than pretty much anyone besides Obito. If Gai was worried enough to wake Obito in the middle of the night to check on Kakashi, it must be serious. 

“Give me five minutes,” he requested. 

After going through all of the safety protocols Sensei had taught them (and then Kakashi had reinforced after they’d moved in together) to ensure that this wasn’t a trick or trap or something, Obito quickly dressed himself and let Gai into the house. He didn’t trust a lot of people with Naruto, but he trusted Gai. Technically he still needed to get the Hokage and the Council’s approval before leaving Naruto with anyone even temporarily, but he didn’t have time right now. It was better to ask for forgiveness than permission, right? 

Once he was dressed and armed (just in case, he had no idea what he was walking into), he stopped in Naruto’s room to check on him. The kid was still fast asleep, under his clone’s watchful gaze. He decided to leave the clone, since it really didn’t do much to his massive chakra reserves anyway. Obito briefly paused to brush Naruto’s hair out of his face, prompting a sleepy whine and nose wrinkle in response. He kissed Naruto on his forehead and promised to be back quickly. 

“Do you mind staying here to keep an eye on Naruto?” he asked Gai on his way out, already knowing his answer. 

“Of course!” Gai responded immediately. “I will guard him like he is my own flesh and blood.” 

Obito didn’t doubt that. Gai’s loyalty toward his village, and especially his friends, was unquestionable. He offered Gai a quick nod of acknowledgement, then set off to drag Kakashi out of whatever hole he’d dug himself into. 

Just like Gai said, he found Kakashi at the Memorial Stone. He was staring at it like it would provide all the answers to the universe’s greatest questions. He’d changed out of his ANBU gear, but clearly hadn’t cleaned up yet. Like Gai said, he didn’t seem to have any major injuries, but that certainly didn’t mean he was “ok”. He looked ragged, and exhausted, and there were flecks of blood and dirt in his hair. It wasn’t like Kakashi to let himself be seen out in public looking so grimey and unkempt, so that was already a red flag. 

Obito frowned, approaching his friend carefully. If Kakashi was in one of his particularly bad moods, he could be jumpy and short-tempered. It got worse when he got back from missions, but of course Kakashi refused to consider the idea of quitting ANBU. 

“Hey,” Obito said gently, “when did you get back?” 

Kakashi didn’t acknowledge the greeting right away. It seemed like he was processing everything in slow motion. He finally managed to turn his head toward Obito, but it looked like he was fighting through molasses. 

“Just now,” Kakashi replied, his tone quiet and clipped. He turned back toward the Memorial Stone with equal sluggishness. His hand reached up, tracing over one of the names. Obito had a one in three chance of guessing which one.

“Did something happen on your mission?” he guessed, taking in Kakashi’s subdued demeanor and the bags under his eyes that were visible even with just the moonlight to highlight them. Gai was right about him not looking ok. 

“It was a mission,” Kakashi replied dismissively, his shoulders hunched defensively. “And you know I can’t talk about it.” 

“I’m not asking you to give up village secrets, Bakashi,” Obito scoffed. “I’m just checking on how you’re doing.” 

Obviously lying, Kakashi replied shortly, “I’m fine.” 

Well, this was going well. Obito knew that admitting he’d been sent by Gai would not go over well. Kakashi didn’t like the idea of people worrying about him. He would only close himself off more. Although, on a normal day Kakashi would have probably already worked it out himself. The fact that he’d run into Gai and then Obito had shown up a short while later made it pretty obvious. That and the fact that Obito was awake at this godforsaken hour. And yet, Kakashi didn’t comment on either of those facts. He just kept staring blankly ahead. 

“Seriously, Kakashi,” he sighed, “you good?” 

Kakashi hummed noncommittally in response. 

“Ok then, let’s head home,” he tried. “There’s no reason for you to be standing out here in the middle of the night like a weirdo.” 

Another vague, humming noise, but Kakashi didn’t budge. 

“Come on, Bakashi,” Obito growled, irritated at the lack of responsiveness. “What are you doing out here, anyway?” 

No response. 

“For fuck’s sake.” Obito rubbed at his temples, trying to keep himself calm. “Clearly something is bothering you, but if you don’t want to talk about it, then fine. Just come home so we can both stop freezing our asses off.” He shivered as a cool breeze prickled at his skin. He may have changed out of his pajamas, but he hadn’t exactly put on layers. 

“I’m. Fine.” Kakashi replied shortly. 

Obito felt his eye twitch in irritation. Ok, time to switch tactics. Sometimes he could distract Kakashi out of one of his bad moods, so it was worth a try. “Well, I’m not fine. I’ve been dealing with a cranky toddler all week! You think he’d be in a good mood because of his birthday, but he’s been particularly bratty this week.” Purposefully, Obito didn’t mention how most of Naruto’s bad mood was obviously stemming from him missing Kakashi. That definitely wouldn’t help snap Kakashi out of his funk. “Ugh, Naruto has suddenly decided that he hates peas. It’s weird, because he never had an issue with them before. And he’s normally a black hole when it comes to food anyway, so I’m not sure why he suddenly decided he doesn’t like them, but it’s becoming a problem. He actually spit out a wad of half chewed peas yesterday, it was disgusting!”

Kakashi didn’t reply, still staring at the Memorial Stone and barely acknowledging Obito’s presence. His hand was shaking where it was placed on the monument. 

Obito cleared his throat, but didn’t get any kind of reaction. “I think it’s a toddler thing. I don’t know if he’s just testing boundaries, or if he just had a bad batch and now thinks they’re all bad.” He shrugged. “It’s really inconvenient, though. A few months ago he said he loved peas, so do you have any idea how many I’ve been growing?” 

Silence, and not even the slightest bit of movement from Kakashi. 

“Spoiler; it’s a lot.” Obito chuckled, hoping to get Kakashi engaged in the conversation again. 

Nothing. 

Obito frowned, taking a few cautious steps toward his friend. Something was really wrong. At least before, Kakashi had at least acknowledged his presence. Now it was like talking to a brick wall. Usually, Kakashi would at least snap at him if he was in one of his depressive moods. Now, it was like he couldn’t even hear what Obito was saying. 

He tried increasing his volume, nearly yelling, “Yo, Bakashi, you in there?” 

Still no answer. 

“Ok, now you’re really freaking me out.” He reached out and touched Kakashi’s arm, just enough to get his attention. 

It was like a switch flipped. Kakashi whirled on him, a kunai in one hand, the beginnings of a chidori forming in the other. He hadn’t realized that Kakashi’s Sharingan eye was uncovered until his own activated in response, like an unconscious defense. Both of Kakashi’s eyes were wild and unseeing. 

Obito stumbled back. “Hey, hey, Bakashi it’s me!” 

Too late, Kakashi’s senses seemed to come back to him. His eyes widened in horror as he realized he was too late to slow his strike. 

Obito only managed a frantic thought of, holy shit Bakashi is going to chidori me and it will wreck him, before the lightning was close enough to make all of his hairs stand on end. And of course, it wasn’t going to strike the synthetic plant side, it was going to strike the normal flesh-and-blood side. 

While he was bracing for a sharp pain and a lot of blood, Kakashi’s entire arm phased through him, leaving him without a scratch on his body. 

What. The. Fuck. 

Kakashi’s momentum forced him forward, and he didn’t bother stopping himself as he stumbled and landed gracelessly on his hands and knees. His whole body was wracked with violent shudders, and he was babbling a string of barely coherent apologies. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry–”

He didn’t know what Kakashi had seen when he’d been startled, but he could guess it wasn’t pretty if it spooked him into instant attack mode. He also didn’t seem to realize that Obito was perfectly fine, still shaking and panicking on the ground. Although to be fair, Obito could barely comprehend that he was perfectly fine, because he had no idea how he’d avoided the hit. Even as he patted his hands all over his body and ensured that there weren’t any injuries, he still had no idea what happened. 

He could figure out how and why later. Right now, he needed to stop Kakashi from spiraling further. “It’s fine! I’m fine, look!” He stepped in front of Kakashi and gestured to his very not chidori’d body. 

Through very wide and tearful eyes, Kakashi did seem to see him. “You–but how–I–” He barely managed to pull his mask down and turn away in time to vomit all over the ground. 

Obito patted Kakashi’s back awkwardly. “Hey, it’s ok, let it out.” He grimaced at the retching sounds but forced himself to stay close to offer comfort to his friend. 

As soon as his stomach settled, Kakashi wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, then immediately pulled his mask up. He sat back, still shaky and out of it. It was all very graceless and awkward, two things that Kakashi normally wasn’t. 

“I don’t understand,” Kakashi said weakly. “You should be dead.” 

Obito scoffed, “Ok, first of all, I could totally survive a point blank chidori–” 

The desperate look Kakashi was giving him shut up any further attempts at bragging or lightening the mood. Even if it was true (though Obito didn’t know for sure how extensive his enhanced healing abilities were) it was a stupid thing to say. Especially when he’d seen firsthand how devastating Kakashi’s technique was. Especially when he knew how much Rin’s death via the same technique still haunted him. 

“I’m ok, really,” Obito said again. “Look–” he grabbed Kakashi’s wrist, ignoring the obvious responsive flinch. Like he’d done years ago, the first time he ever saw Kakashi break down, he put Kakashi’s hand on his chest, over his heart. “See? Totally normal, not-dead heartbeat.” 

Obito had done this for him a few times since then, when Kakashi was really having a rough time. He didn’t do it often, because Kakashi was still a prickly bastard that hated showing any kind of vulnerability, but it clearly helped him. Every time, Kakashi would act embarrassed, but grateful. Something about being able to feel Obito’s heartbeat and breathing, and focus on it, seemed to calm him. 

But not this time. The moment his hand touched Obito, he yanked it away, violently. Then, he practically threw himself backwards, staring at Obito with unconcealed horror. 

“No, no, no–” he just kept shaking his head and repeating the same thing over and over. “I can’t–” Kakashi sat back, leaning his head forward and reaching up to grasp at his own hair. 

Shit, he was so out of his depth. “I don’t know what to do here,” Obito admitted, “but I want to help you. Just let me–” He reached out again. 

Kakashi was suddenly on his feet, shaking his head almost violently. “No. No, I–I need to–you shouldn’t be around me.” 

“Quit being dramatic,” Obito sighed. “I’m fine, you’re fine, we’re all fine . Just come home and get some sleep. I’ll make your favorite gross, bitter tea and I’ll let you insult me twice, no, three times without a single retort. How’s that sound?” He grinned, hoping it looked less like a grimace than it felt. 

Kakashi shook his head again. “You shouldn’t be around me,” he repeated. Shakily, he murmured, “ Naruto shouldn’t be around me.” 

Obito felt his stomach drop, realizing where the conversation was going. “Bakashi, don’t you dare–” 

Without waiting for him to finish his plea, Kakashi shunshin’d away. Obito was left alone with nothing but a terrible, ominous silence surrounding him. He knew going after Kakashi was useless; if he didn’t want to be found, Obito would never find him. The only thing he could do was to let Kakashi cool down and come home when he felt better. It wouldn’t be the first time Kakashi got spooked and disappeared for a little while. 

As much as Obito wanted to tell himself it would just be like the other times, where Kakashi just needed some space to breathe and then would show up on Sensei and Kushina’s couch a few days later like nothing had happened, he had a bad feeling in his gut again.

Chapter Text

It had been three days since the incident at the Memorial Stone and Obito still hadn’t seen a single trace of Kakashi. He didn’t come by Sensei and Kushina’s house, he was never at his apartment when Obito stopped by, and he wasn’t skulking around the Memorial Stone. It was like he just vanished. Naruto asked about him more and more each day, and Obito knew it was only a matter of time before the kid stopped believing that Kakashi was still just away on a normal mission. Hopefully Kakashi would come to his senses before then and return home. Hopefully. 

In the meantime, Obito had another problem; his Sharingan was broken. Ever since the night when Kakashi almost chidori’d him, Obito had noticed something weird about the pattern in his Sharingan eye. He’d spent at least an hour in the bathroom shifting between the normal three tomoe and the strange new pattern, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. He’d never heard of a Sharingan being broken, but if it was going to happen to anyone, of course it would be him. 

Asking the Clan Head or any of the elders about it was completely out of the question, but there was, fortunately, an alternative. Despite his younger age, Shisui already had a fully developed Sharingan and knew a lot about their clan’s doujutsu. 

As a bonus, Obito had finally managed to convince the Hokage and the Council to let Naruto officially meet some of his cousins. He’d argued that Naruto and Sasuke would be in the same class at the Academy so they would be meeting eventually anyway, and of course everyone knew that Sasuke didn’t go anywhere or meet anyone without his older brother, so they were a package deal. Surprisingly, the argument worked, and the old man even agreed to allow Shisui at the meeting too. There were definitely more ANBU than normal watching them, though, and the arrangement still wasn’t permanent. He’d have to get permission every time he wanted Naruto to spend time with any of the Uchiha.

Well, progress was progress. 

Naruto was skipping along, happy as usual. “Gonna make new friends!” he chirped, positively giddy at the idea. 

“Yup,” Obito confirmed. “These are my cousins. Sasuke is just about your age and will be in school with you.” 

“My cousins!” Naruto repeated.

“ My cousins. Remember, we talked about how I'm from a different clan?” If Naruto started thinking he was related to the Uchiha in any way, the Council would have a collective aneurysm.

Naruto nodded vigorously in understanding. “I know clans! You Uchiha, Kashi Hatake, I Uzumaki!” 

Obito patted Naruto on the head. “Good job! You’re so smart.” 

Naruto beamed. “I smart!” 

They reached the playground, one that was nowhere near the Uchiha Compound, and Obito spotted his cousins immediately. He waved, and Naruto did the same, mimicking him. 

Shisui waved back. “You’re only a little bit late, good job!” he teased, before leaning down a bit to grin at Naruto. “Wow, you sure got big!” 

Naruto puffed up, standing as upright as possible. “Big! I big!” 

“You sure are!” Shisui held his hand out and Naruto didn’t hesitate to high five it. 

“You met Shisui when you were really little,” Obito told him. “And Itachi too.” He waved to his other cousin, who seemed to be struggling to convince his younger brother to join in the greetings. 

Sasuke was looking at Naruto warily, halfway hidden behind his brother’s legs. When Itachi tried to nudge him forward, Sasuke just tightened his grip and refused to move. 

“Sasuke, don’t you want to go say hello?” Itachi asked gently. 

Sasuke shook his head in response. “No.” 

Unfortunately for him, the response was enough to catch Naruto’s attention. Naruto looked absolutely delighted to meet another kid his age, and bounded right up to the much shier boy. 

“Hi! ‘M Naruto, wanna be my friend?” he grinned. 

Sasuke blinked a few times, then glanced up at his brother, then back to Naruto. He relaxed a bit and responded, “Ok.” 

That was all the permission Naruto needed to grab his new friend’s hand and pull him toward the playground equipment. “C’mon! I show you fun games!” 

Sasuke glanced back helplessly at his older brother, but let himself be dragged along. Naruto took him over to one of the slides and started explaining some kind of silly, convoluted game. Sasuke nodded along seriously, as if listening to a mission briefing. 

The three older shinobi watched their charges fondly. Itachi commented, “I was not sure how Sasuke would react to Naruto. He has not had much success with making friends.” 

“Fortunately,” Obito chuckled, “Naruto is the opposite. He makes friends with everyone, whether they actually want to be friends or not.” 

Case in point, a few other kids had wandered over to join in the game Naruto was explaining to Sasuke. Naruto was basking in the attention, while Sasuke kept shooting uneasy glances toward Itachi. Itachi looked two seconds away from swooping in to save his brother from the boisterous crowd of toddlers, but Shisui held him back with a gentle hand on his shoulder and a quick shake of his head. 

“Wow, he’s certainly a charismatic little thing, isn’t he?” Shisui commented, gesturing toward the growing group of children. 

“You have no idea,” Obito responded. 

The three of them chatted idly for a while, laughing at the antics of the pack of wild toddlers that had converged around Naruto. Sasuke looked completely overwhelmed, but Naruto kept coming back and encouraging him and holding his hand, which seemed to soothe the kid. Itachi did have to rescue his little brother a few times when he started to look on the verge of full on panic, but he bounced back pretty quickly. 

When the conversation shifted toward training and missions, Obito remembered the newest gossip he’d heard from some of his friends. “Oh, so I hear congratulations are in order,” he told Itachi. 

Itachi stared at him blankly. “I have no idea what you are referring to.” 

“Come on,” Obito grinned, “don’t pretend like it’s a well-kept secret. An Uchiha in ANBU, you know everyone’s talking about it!” 

“ANBU identities are classified,” he reminded Obito tersely. 

That was true, but sometimes it was so painfully obvious that it really couldn’t be kept a secret. Like Kakashi, for example. There wasn’t a single shinobi in or outside the village that didn’t know who donned the Hound mask for Konoha. Having a Sharingan and a flashy, distinctive jutsu really didn’t bode well for anonymity. Itachi would likely be the same, given the notable lack of any other Uchiha in ANBU. That, and the fact that he was so much younger, and therefore smaller, than any other operatives. 

Obito ignored his own rule breaking. “So, have you seen Kakashi at all at training?” he asked, hating how stupidly desperate he sounded. 

“That is not something I can discuss,” Itachi replied, giving nothing away. 

“Right, right, I get it.” Obito waved his cousin off, plastering on a fake grin. “Just, you know, theoretically, if you did happen to see him somewhere–totally not at some kind of super classified ANBU training, of course–how would you say he looked?” 

Still blank-faced, Itachi didn’t offer a verbal reply. 

Obito was not yet discouraged by the lack of response. “Ok how about on a scale of one to ten, how well-adjusted does he seem?” 

“Cousin Obito,” Itachi sighed, sounding like he was scolding his younger brother. 

“Fine,” Obito relented, “how about this; if you happen to see Kakashi, could you just let me know if he seems not ok? You don’t have to give me any details about where you saw him, just let me know if anything seems off.” 

Shisui interjected, “Uh oh, trouble in paradise? You guys have a fight or something?” 

“Or something,” Obito grumbled, not wanting to elaborate. He looked at Itachi pleadingly, still waiting for an answer. 

Itachi sighed again, sounding defeated. “I suppose I can keep an eye out.” 

Well, he didn’t outright say ‘no’, so that was something. “Thanks! Just don’t tell that asshole I told you to watch out for him, alright? He’ll get weird about it.” Obito suddenly remembered why he’d wanted to meet up with Shisui in the first place. “Oh hey,” he turned to address Shisui, “could you take a look at my Sharingan and tell me what you think? I think I may have broken it.”

Shisui raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t think you can break a Sharingan. Right?” he asked Itachi.

“I have never heard of such a thing,” Itachi agreed. “However, I am also not aware of any other living Uchiha who voluntarily transplanted one of their eyes. Perhaps only having one Sharingan impacts its efficacy?” 

“Maybe. That would be my luck,” Obito sighed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with it, something weird happened the other night and now it looks all wonky.” He activated his Sharingan, then let it shift into the strange pattern he’d seen in the mirror the other day. 

Immediately, he heard both of his cousins inhale sharply. Shisui hissed, “Turn that off! Now!” 

Obito did as he was told, turning off his Sharingan and frowning in confusion. “What—“

“Have you shown that to anyone else?” Shisui asked, keeping his voice low. “Or described it to anyone else?”

“No. But why—“

“Not here,” Shisui insisted. “Don’t tell anyone about it. And I mean anyone. ” 

“Ok,” Obito relented. He understood that the conversation was over, and that Shisui would come up with a plan for them to meet without ANBU watching them. He didn’t know why they were being so secretive, but he trusted Shisui and knew that if he was being serious, then it was a big deal. 

Without missing a beat, Shisui’s usual cheerful smile returned, and the conversation picked up exactly where they’d left off. They didn’t talk about Obito’s weird Sharingan again, sticking to much safer topics. 

Naruto seemed to have fun with Sasuke and the other kids, and was totally worn out by the time they parted ways with the three Uchiha. Of course, he got a second wind on the way home when they passed his favorite dango stand. Eh, the kid earned a little treat. 

They spent the rest of the evening lounging around at home while Obito waited anxiously to hear from Shisui about their secret meeting. 

A crow delivered a coded message an hour later, but it took Obito so long to decipher it that he almost missed the meeting time altogether. And then he had to sneak past his ANBU guard, which was still not an easy feat, even if he was much stealthier and more competent than he used to be. 

By the time he made it to the meeting spot that Shisui had picked, he was a panting, sweaty mess. And late, of course. “Sorry, sorry! I had some trouble with your message and then I wasn’t sure I was at the right spot so I circled around and—“

Shisui waved him off. Itachi was with him too, of course, because the two of them did pretty much everything together. If one of them was having a clandestine meeting in the woods in the middle of the night, then both of them would be. 

“Let me see your eye again,” Shisui asked without any further preamble. 

Obito did as he was asked, letting his Sharingan swirl to life. Both Shisui and Itachi nodded solemnly, as if they were seeing exactly what they expected. 

“Well shit,” Shisui sighed. 

“Stop leaving me in suspense!” Obito snapped. 

Shisui and Itachi exchanged a look, probably having a whole silent conversation. Then, Shisui dryly explained, “Congratulations, you’ve achieved the next stage of the Sharingan.” 

“…what?”

“It’s called the Mangekyou Sharingan,” Shisui explained. “It’s a very rare and powerful advanced form of our clan’s doujutsu.”