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Chapter Text

Unexpected

Eloise couldn't think straight. She did not know what possessed her that evening to knock on the ever so familiar printer shop door. It was a late cold December evening, she was not sure of the exact time but after a heated discussion stroke argument with her mother and eldest brother about her recent activities during the summer with political radicals, about how she apparently does not care about the family name or yet herself being ruined, she was absolutely fed up with being told what she what she can and cannot do. She believed herself to be like a puppet on strings to be on show. She was fed up with being treated like a child, yet also expected to be married off to some ‘gentlemen’ that she would spend the rest of her miserable life with bearing babies like cattle.

No. She knew that she needed to take control of her own life albeit not exactly knowing how to. So once everyone had finished yet another awkward family dinner, with no one in her family except Benedict really talking to her yet past her, she decided that enough was enough and asked to be excused to which her mother allowed. She bid everyone a good night explaining that she was retiring to her bedchamber early this evening. However, in a haste decision she never made it up the staircase, instead down one. She found herself in the servants and footmen's area of her family home trying to find John.

By now John and the other servants were used to Eloise randomly appearing out of nowhere requesting to be taken somewhere that only herself and John knew of. However this time was different, Eloise stormed in demanding to be taken to Bloomsbury. John gave Eloise a puzzled look as this is the last thing that he expected given her recent activities in the past summer. However, he received nothing but a small nod from Eloise to let him know that she understood what she was doing. He told her that he will be ready and waiting outside the servants entrance within five minutes.
And here Eloise stands outside. The air is so cold that she can see her breath and it is then that she realised that in her hastily decision she had forgotten her winter cloak, and she was stood shivering, hoping that he would answer the door.

When Theo heard a loud, sharp knock at the door to the shop that he was working in he was taken by surprise. Surely the delivery boy did not forget something for his paper round in the early morning. He opened the door about to ask what he had forgotten and was greeted with the sight of Eloise. A sight that he was sure that he would never see again. His eyes met with hers and for a moment it felt normal, it was almost like they had never left each other heartbroken.

He saw that she was freezing and stood to the side, allowing her to end to the shop. Eloise immediately strode towards the fire crouching down to regain warmth. Theo used this brief moment to take in her features. Her hair was a little longer, hung beautifully over her face and shoulders. She was in a light blue dress, the shade that he knew was her favourite shade of blue. He found himself in a trance, unaware that she was now talking to him, with her back still turned toward him.

“I am sorry for my intrusion” when she didn't get a response from him, she turned her body to face him. Eloise noticed that he was staring, studying her carefully. “Theo? Sorry I mean Mr Sharpe”

The use of his name snapped him out of his daydreaming. “Theo is fine Miss Bridgerton”

“Eloise , please just Eloise” He nodded, knowing all too well that she hates the formality of using her family name. Her given name comes so naturally to him.

“I am sorry for intruding. If I am being honest, I am not quite sure how or why I ended up here.” She said reluctantly.

“What are you doing here Miss...Eloise?” Theo asked quite abruptly. As much as he is secretly delighted that Eloise is back here with him, he still does not understand, why after all these months she has returned.

“I need to take control of my own life.” Eloise exclaimed. Before Theo could reply, Eloise raised her hand to allow her to continue. “And you were the first thought that I had. In order to take control of my life, I needed to see you. I needed to apologise on how I acted when we last saw each other. I needed to know that you are safe and well. I need you to know that I care about you.” Elosie was surprised that those last word slipped out so freely. She knew that they were there ready to say but did not think she would actually say them.

Theo stood surprised. He cared for Eloise too, however more than just as a friendship. He was uncertain of how she cared for him. Theo decided that enough was enough and hastily blurted out “I care for you too Eloise."

Before Theo even had time to think about what or how he had just said those words, Eloise moved closer to him to close the space between them. There they stood for what felt like an eternity gazing into each other’s eyes. Theo longed to touch her, to feel her hands in his, but he could not bring himself to do so as memories from their past interaction flooded back to him. Eloise could see that Theo was reluctant and having an internal battle, so she decided to make that decision for him. She inched closer, cupping his cheeks, gently stroking her thumbs across his face and placed her lips on his. Theo instantly melted into her touch and reached his hands one behind her neck underneath her hair, and the other gently on her waist and kissed her gently back.

The kiss started off subtle, small and innocent but soon became more passionate and full of need and want for each other. All of the events that had happened between them had been forgotten. But then Theo suddenly broke away from her, placing his hands on his forehead in disbelief.

“I am so sorry Eloise. Please forgive me. I was not thinking straig-“ Elosie placed another small kiss on his lips to hush him.

“There is nothing to apologize for Theo. It was me that started it. And if it is ok with you, I would quite like to continue” She chuckled trying to make light of the topic.

“Elosie we mustn’t. I cannot ruin you any more than I already have”

“This is what I was talking about Theo!” Eloise exclaimed starting to get frustrated. “This is why I need to take control of my life. I am not ‘ruined’ especially by you. I want this. It is so easy for a man to kiss any woman he likes and have no repercussions from it but when a woman wants to I get a lecture from everyone-“ Theo rushed forwards grabbing her face gently and crashed his lips onto hers once again. He knew that she was not naive and foolish, and he knew that this is what they definitely both wanted.

Their kisses became full of lust, passion and need for each other. Neither of them aware of their surroundings until Eloise’s back was pushed up against the table in the shop. Which they both let out a laugh whilst still kissing. Her hands began wondering to undo his cravat, then his waistcoat which she easily discarded off of him. Theo’s hands unconsciously wondered to cup underneath her breast to which she let out a small gasp.

“Elosie” Theo broke away again. “We must stop otherwise I don’t know how I’m going to control myself around you” He said with passion and hunger in his eyes.

Eloise placed another loving but small kiss on Theo’s lips “What would happen if we were to continue?” She questioned so innocently. Theo then remembered that Eloise is a lady and has absolutely no clue about what else goes beyond kissing. “Please tell me Theo” she pleaded with her eyes.

“Well…urm… this usually takes place in a marriage bed, between a husband and a wife. This is an act that can be done to have a woman be with child. But many times, if done correctly the man can prevent this from happening, and is an act just out of love and passion…”

“Theo, what is it?”

“Sex.”

Chapter Text

“Oh.” Was all Eloise could reply with. Suddenly feeling very hot and flustered, she looked across to Theo who also looked quite awkward shuffling his feet.
“Well” She cleared her throat, trying to diffuse the tension. “I believe I should get going as it is rather late.”
Truly, Eloise had completely lost all recollection of time, she realised that she had no clue what time she even arrived at Chancery lane printers. She began fidgeting and smoothing out her frock, trying to avoid Theo’s eyes. Eloise was unsure of what exactly has just occurred. Why all of a sudden have they become like strangers? She still wasn't sure of the ins and outs of sex however she felt that due to Theo’s lack of response and conversation, she thought it best to not push for any more information. Eloise smoothed down her hair and suddenly felt a warm sting occurring in her eyes, she didn't know how long she had been brimming silent tears but squeezed her eyes shut try to stop them from falling, failing miserably.
“Goodbye Theo” Her voice cracked. Theo quickly snapped his head up, Eloise’s trembling voice snapped him out of his trance.
“Wait…Eloise please…” He reached out to gently touch her upper arm. Eloise slowly turned towards him, her head looking down at her shoes. “You should not go out in these streets alone at this time of night.”
“It is ok Theo, I had John bring me here by carriage. I reckon he is waiting only a few streets away.”
“Even so, please let me walk you there, so I know you have made it back safely.” She nodded in response. However, neither of them proceeded to move an inch.
Theo moved his hand slowly down to capture her soft hand, intertwining their fingers. His other hand came up to wipe the remaining tears that have trickled down her face. Eloise felt ashamed that she had even cried over this, her head still looking down at their feet. Theo gently put his other hand under her chin and lifted her head up to meet his gaze. He slowly closed the gap and ever so softly brushed his lips against hers. They could both feel each other's breath, agonisingly tickling their lips and necks. She couldn't take it anymore and closed the last few millimetres by placing a firm but loving kiss on his lips.
“I'm sorry Eloise” Theo broke apart from her and placed his forehead against hers. “I did not mean to upset you; I just feel that I shouldn't have said anything about sex when you asked. It is not my place to inform you of such things. As much as I will regret saying this, I should not have kissed you. Please believe me when I say that it is all I have been thinking and dreaming about since you left those few months ago, but I should not of had those thoughts.”
“Show me.” Eloise softly whispered against his lips.
“Pardon?” Theo had an idea of what she was suggesting but could not quite believe it.
“Show me what sex is Theo”.
“El…I can't. It is not proper; we are not married. I am just a printers apprentice and you…well you are a lady.” However, Theo could not bring himself to pull away from her.
“Theo, I know that, but I believe this to be an act of love, is it not?” He nodded in agreement. “So please show me. I understand the risks, I understand that once it happens and I am no longer pure, but I love you Theo and I think that you may feel the same for me?” It was more of a statement than a question. He knew that Elosie could see right through him, any act of disagreement she would disregard knowing that he was just trying to protect her.
“I do Eloise. I love you more than my heart can contain.” Theo meant every word. “But I could not forgive myself if it were to happen and you realise afterwards that you regret it.”
“I know you care about me enough to think that, but I promise you Theo…” Elosie took both of his hands in hers. “All choices that I make are my own. I need to know that I do this, it will be with someone that I love and not some man that I am forced to marry.”
“I need you to understand that if and I mean if we were to proceed with what you are asking, you can stop at any point. Just say the word and I will stop immediately.” She nodded in agreement. “And I need you to know that just because you love me, it does not mean that you owe me anything, you do not have to give yourself to me just because of our feelings. I need you to be sure that this is what you want. If it is, then I will talk you through everything, I will try my hardest to make it as comfortable as possible for you.”
“Comfortable?” Theo remembered that she had idea about intercourse, about the pain and pleasures that are involved. She truly did not even know how or what to do, or what it even entailed.
“Yes, well for a woman the first few times may be slightly uncomfortable or even a little painful. But after awhile it should subside. Again, you do not need to follow this through if you do not wish to.”
“I do.” Theo could tell that Eloise had definitely understood everything that he had explained to her. He walked over and locked the door to the print shop. He then walked back to Eloise and gently took her hand and guided her to his room which was located above the shop.
Eloise looked around the small room. It didn't have much, a bed, a desk and a chair with papers sprawled all over, a small wash basin, a cupboard for his clothes and a bookshelf which was over full of books, some that had been stacked on the floor beside it. It wasn't much, but it was a lot for Theo.
“Please sit if you like” Theo gestured to his bed whilst he proceeded to pile up any loose papers that had been lying around. “I am sorry it is not what you are probably used to back in Mayfair.”
“It is perfect.”
Once finished, he sat down beside her. Eloise laid her back down on the bed staring at the ceiling.
“I feel at home here. My bedchamber is nice yes, but it is far too big. I can easily feel lonely when I am in there, even if it is my safe haven.”
Theo laid on his back joining Eloise. Their hands intertwining, brushing each other’s fingertips.
“It can get lonely, especially as of lately” Eloise thought back to her falling out with Penelope. The two women have not spoken to each other since that night, just awkward glances were exchanged when their Mama’s were talking to each other. She also thought of Anthony essentially banishing her to her room after her family had found out about what she was really doing with her time, instead of attending lectures.
“You never need to feel alone with me.” He replied, turning on this side to face look at her. She followed suit and she focused on their hands between them. God she was beautiful. He was so in love with Eloise Bridgerton, even if it did take him until this evening to fully realise just how much. H would do anything for her, he wished to never see her upset or hurt and he was determined to ensure that it would never happen. Theo lent forwards slightly, just hovering his hand over her waist. “Can I?” he asked.
“Yes” She nodded and leaned further into him. Theo placed his hand on her waist, trailing small circles. She wrapped her hand around his and used his arm to pull herself on top of his body. She let out a small laugh as if she'd got the upper hand which also amused Theo. Eloise looked at Theo’s lips, then his eyes, then back down in his lips again. She cupped his face with her hand using the other to balance herself so she would not squish him and placed a loving lingering kiss on his lips to which he gladly accepted.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

“Now I understand why Mama’s would not want their daughters doing that!” She chuckled.
Eloise and Theo both lay taking in what had just happened between the two of them. Theo wrapped an arm around her pulling her closer. He buried his face in the warmth of her neck and hair.
“I never want to leave here. I wish to stay here forever.”
“I know my love, but your family will be waking soon and they will wonder where you are, they will be worried sick.”
Eloise glanced outside the window and could see the sky slightly getting lighter and she could hear birds chirping in the distance.
“Yes, you are right.”
…………………………………………………………………………………………….

Theo walked Eloise back to the where John was waiting with the carriage. She lightly tapped John on his shoulder trying to wake him without startling him.
“John…” She whispered. He quickly shot up from his slumped position.
“Yes Miss, sorry Miss Bridgerton. I should not have fallen asleep!”
“It is fine John, I did not realise how long I was, and you needed your sleep, I am sorry, I should have just sent you back home.” John nodded and proceeded to open the door to the carriage.
Eloise did not care if anyone on the empty street or even John saw them together. She lunged towards Theo to give him a final hug before she left.
“I will see you soon” she whispered. She reluctantly climbed into the carriage and John closed the door. The two men gave each other a friendly nod.
Theo waiting for the carriage to drive off before turning to walk back to the print shop. He knew that he would be exhausted for work in a few hours but hoped to get at least an extra one or two more hours of sleep. Once he had climbed into his bed, he could still smell Eloise’s scent on his sheets. He closed his eyes allowing sleep to take over knowing that he would dream of her.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Once in the carriage Eloise slumped back into the seat. She could not stop smiling, she reached to touch her lips where he had previously left countless of kisses. She felt like a new woman. That was until she arrived back at her home where it quickly hit her that she was still the same Eloise Bridgerton, who had to keep up expectations and do as everyone says. With a quick thank you to John, she sneaked back through the doors to her home and managed to slip into her bedroom unnoticed. She quickly changed into her night gown, but before climbing into bed, she glanced at herself in her full-length mirror. Running a hand over where Theo had touched, kissed and caressed her that night. With a small smile to herself she climbed into her bed and covered herself up with her sheets. She allowed sleep overtake over knowing that she would dream of him.

Chapter Text

Dear Theo,

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but my Mama and eldest brother have informed me that we are to head to the countryside tomorrow for Christmas. I really hoped to see you before I left but unfortunately, I do not have any time and Mama is constantly on my back. I am sorry to be leaving at such short notice, I believe that we will be staying at Aubrey Hall for six weeks. I know that it sounds like an eternity, however I am most looking forward to seeing you when I return. I hoped to wish you a lovely Christmas in person but as I am unable to do so this letter will have to do. So Merry Christmas Theo, I will be counting down the days until we can reunite.

Yours, Eloise.

Theo put down the letter and a sigh escaped his lips. He would miss Eloise terribly, but he understood that there was nothing he could do about their departure and how he knew that Eloise would be feeling the same. Theo sat down at his desk and picked up his quill. He wished to write to her, to check that she is well after what had happened between the two of them a few days ago. He put his quill to the paper but quickly put it back in its pot. He realised that by the time his letter would reach Mayfair, she would most likely have already left and addressing it to Aubrey Hall would likely raise suspicions and he would not want Eloise to get into any further trouble. Instead, Theo went back downstairs to the shop to carry on with his work.

…………………………

“Eloise, you look rather happy this morning!” Benedict remarked as he marched into the dining room at Aubrey Hall. Elosie was sat eating her breakfast with a book in her hand.

“Thank you brother, although I am not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult? Am I normally miserable?” she chuckled, knowing that Benedict would have to choose his words wisely.

“Well sister, I have noticed as of late that you have been rather quiet and glum, however this week you are quite the opposite. It is very refreshing to see. Happiness suits you El.” She gave her brother a small shy smile. It truly warms his heart knowing that his sister was happy. He knew it was best to not push her as to what was causing this sudden upbeat mood, perhaps it was being in the countryside, she always did love Aubrey Hall even if it did hold a horrid memory for himself.

…… 6 weeks later……..

It was agony knowing that she had waited six weeks to see Theo again. One more day before they left for Mayfair, before she could sneak off to Bloomsbury. Eloise had woken up feeling rather groggy. She felt bloated and could not stand to face having anything tight against her stomach quite yet. So instead of getting dressed, she decided to have breakfast first. When she headed downstairs, all of her family were already sat down at the table enjoying their morning. Her mother noticed Eloise walk in looking rather pale in tired.

“Are you feeling well my darling?” Violet asked.

“Yes Mama, just a little tired. I was up reading last night and I am unsure what time I eventually fell asleep.” Violet nodded, however she still continued watching her daughter as she sat down at the table. The servants brought Eloise’s breakfast and placed the array of food in front of her whilst Elosie had a sip of her water.

“Thank you” she relayed to the male servant. She cut her bread and popped a piece into her mouth. She barely had time to chew it before she started gagging, needing to spit it out and quickly running to the nearest item that she could find to throw up in which happened to be a plant pot. All of the Bridgertons gasped at how quickly the situation had escalated.

“Elosie dear are you alright?” Violet quickly rushed to her side.

“Yes I am now.” She wiped her mouth with a cloth that Violet had brought over. “I am sorry about your plant Mama”

Eloise composed herself and turned to look at all of her siblings watching her. She suddenly became very aware of how hot her cheeks had become.

“Do not worry about the plants dear, you go back to bed and rest, I will deal with…this.” She pointed to the contaminated pot. Eloise nodded and mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ to her siblings before heading back to her bedchamber.

“Well that was rather peculiar” piped up Hyacinth.

……………………………..

“El?” A knock on the door revealed Benedict who had come to check on his sister.

“Come in” She called softly. He walked in to find Elosie sat in bed reading a book.

“How are you feeling? Do I have to keep my distance?” They both let out a chuckle. Only Benedict could make being ill comical.

“I feel fine now actually. It was so unusual! I just could not stop myself earlier!” she was genuinely bewildered as to what had happened.

Benedict nodded his head “It was quite the turn of events! I am glad you are feeling better now. Do you wish to come for a stroll with me in the gardens, some fresh air may help.”

“Yes, I think I will thank you. I will need to change first, I shall not be long, please wait for me in the lounge.”

Benedict nodded and left Eloise to change into her clothes. Her maid entered her room not too shortly afterwards to assist her with her stays and dress.

“Miss Bridgerton, before I leave do you require any more cotton strips this month?”

Elosie thought for a moment “Oh no thank you, I have plenty left.”

Her maid nodded and left Eloise to herself. Cotton strips…this had Eloise thinking when the last time that she needed to use them was. It definitely has not been whilst she has been at Aubrey Hall. The last time she had her courses were a few weeks before her and Theo had reunited. Elosie quickly put the thought into the back of her mind not thinking much of it and proceeded to meet Benedict.

……………………….

“Eloise dear, are you in there?” Her mother called as she walked by her daughter’s bedchamber. Violet could hear Eloise being sick again, most likely in her chamber pot. She gave Elosie a moment before she opened the door allowing her mother to enter.

“Yes Mama, sorry I feel just as awful as I did this morning”

“Are you well enough to travel back to London? We could always postpone the trip back until you are feeling well enough to travel.”

“No! I am well Mama truly; it is most likely something had eaten previously. I just need a moment to compose myself that is all!” Violet nodded and left her daughter to do just that.

……………………..

The trip back to Mayfair was no different than usual, however for Elosie it was an awful experience! Every bump, every halt of the carriage and every sway caused Eloise’s stomach to turn. She had no idea why it was affecting her so badly as usually carriage rides do not bother her; she even finds them pleasant at best. Violet had kept a watchful eye on her daughter. She could not understand what has caused Elosie’s sudden illness and deplete. She hoped that she would soon feel better, especially in time for the start of the new season in just a few months.

Once they all arrived back to Mayfair Elosie needed to go and rest. Her mother gladly excused her, knowing that she needed it. Whilst Violet was going through her jewellery deciding which ones to lock away, Elosie’s maid knocked on the Dowager Viscountess’s door.

“Mam, please may I have a moment of your time. I know that I should not ask of this but…” the maid hesitantly spoke.

“Yes of course., please come in” Violet offered a welcoming hand. “How may I be of assistance?”

“Well, it is not me that I would like to discuss Mam…” Violet looked confused. Perhaps there had been gossip or rumours amongst the servants that had troubled the young maid. “I have concerns about…Miss Elosie Mam…” the maid bowed her head as she spoke, worried that she would upset her employer.

“Eloise? What is wrong, what concerns do you have? I know she has been rather ill the last few days…”

“Yes Mam, however, when I asked Miss Eloise yesterday if she required any more cotton strips for her courses, she informed me that she had plenty left. I am the only one who restocks them for her, and I have reason to believe that she has not had her courses in at least 6 weeks” She spoke with caution waiting for Violet to take in what she is suggesting.

“I am sorry, I think you must be mistaken…are you suggesting that my daughter may…may be with child?” she shook her head and laughter spilled out. She must be jesting! How can Elosie Bridgerton, a girl known for having no interest in gentlemen or babies; a girl who would not even know anything about the marital act; a girl who is not married, be with child.

“I know how it sounds Mam, and I would not have expressed my concerns otherwise. But with her becoming ill of a sudden and then right as reign the next, and with her missing her courses I…” Violet lifted her hand to stop the maid from carrying on further, the realisation had hit her, and she had heard enough.

“Thank you for addressing me, I do not wish to sound rude, however could you please leave me.” Her hand came up to soothe her temples, she could already feel a headache coming on.

“Of course, Mam.” The maid nodded and backed out of the Dowager’s room.

Before she disappeared, Violet spoke quietly “Please, not a word of this to anyone”

The maid nodded “Of course Mam, you have my word.” She closed the door behind her.

Violet felt a wash of uneasiness come over her, she felt as if she would faint. She stumbled towards the bed, holding onto the post to stop herself from falling. Hundreds of thoughts wracked through her mind, denial, guilt, upset…however she knew that they only way to know for sure if it could even be a slight possibility would be to talk to her daughter. Violet sighed as she sat down on her bed gripping the sheets. She knew that talking to Eloise would not be an easy task, but she had to do it herself. She hoped that Elosie would deny any allegations of her being compromised and that it was all one big misunderstanding, however, deep down she knew that Eloise would deny such allegations even if it were true. The mother and daughter both knew that they did not have the closest of bonds and Violet knew that she may potentially be risking breaking their bond even more.

Chapter Text

The Dowager Viscountess was sat on a chair in the Bridgerton lounge embroidering whilst she watched the scene play out in front of her. Her two youngest children were bickering as usual, Benedict was sketching on the settee, Anthony and Kate were eating biscuits that had been provided with their tea and Eloise was sat opposite them picking at her biscuit crumb by crumb.

“Eloise, you have hardly touched your tea and biscuits” Kate piped up.

“Yes well, I am not feeling particularly hungry, the smell of the tea is making me feel rather uneasy.” Kate nodded in response but looked towards her mother-in-law whose eyes had not left Eloise. Violet watched as her daughter tried to have a sip of her drink, but as soon as it came to her mouth, she quickly placed the teacup back down again.

“Mama, please may I be excused, I wish to go outside for some fresh air.”

“Of course dear, wrap up warm.”

Once Eloise had left the room the new Viscountess and the Dowager caught each other’s eyes however Violet quickly went back to her embroidery acting none the wiser.

“I think I shall go fencing, brother would care to join me?” Anthony suggested to Benedict.

“Yes, I think I will brother.”

“Oh can I watch?” the youngest Bridgerton shot up.

“If Hyacinth can watch then I am coming too!” Gregory also shot up following their older siblings out of the room leaving the two women alone together.

“Is Eloise well? I have noticed that she has not eaten much and looks rather groggy as of late.”

“I will check up on her later on this evening dear, thank you for your concern Kate.”

Kate nodded although she could tell that Violet was withholding something. She decided not to press further and excused herself so she could locate the whereabouts of her dog Newton.

..................

Once everyone in the Bridgerton household had settled into their respective bed chambers, Eloise started to write in her journal about the events of the last few days. She wrote about how embarrassing it was when she had the incident with the plant pot two days prior, also about her agonising trip back from Aubrey Hall, and how she could not wait to see Theo the following day once she had figured out a way to sneak out. Just as she was finishing her writing, she heard a small knock on her door to which her mother poked her head in.

“Come in Mama, what is knocking for anyway?” She mumbled to herself so Violet could not hear “yes Mama?”

“Dear…there is something that I wish…no, that I need to speak with you about.” Eloise felt a rush of panic. What has happened? Has something happened to one of her siblings? She gulped and nodded for Violet to continue gesturing for her mother to sit next to her on the bed.

“It has been brought to my attention that…that…” Violet could not let the words escape her lips, knowing that whatever Eloise’s response would be could make or break their relationship. Eloise held her mother’s hands in hopes to show support.

“There is no easy way to say this. It has been brought to my attention that there is a possibility that you may…that you may be with…child.” Violet who had been previously looking everywhere but at Eloise’s face quickly glanced her eyes towards her to see her daughter’s reaction. A reaction that she was not expecting. Eloise let go of her mother’s hands and burst out laughing! She laughed so much that her stomach ached, and tears started to form in her eyes.

“Oh goodness Mama! How you jest! How absurd! There would never be any way that I could possibly be…” She stopped herself midsentence, the night with Theo came rushing back to her, she remembered that Theo said that sex can lead to a woman being with child, however he assured her that he would not allow that to happen! “No…I cannot be.” She muttered to herself in disbelief, forgetting that her mother was still in the same room as her.

“Dear, the only way that you could possibly be with child is if you and a gentleman did-”

“I KNOW MAMA! I know all about it!” Eloise shot up off of the bed, she was angry that Violet had kept her, kept all of her daughters out of the dark of such an important topic. Violet gasped; she had prayed that all of this was a misunderstanding, that her daughter had no idea about what occurs within the marital act!

“Eloise…did you…no you could not have possibly…” Violet cast her eyes to her daughter who had now turned to meet her gaze, tears silently rolling down her cheeks.

“Mama...” was all she managed to choke out.

“Oh Eloise.”

“I am sorry Mama! I thought that we were careful, I…”

“Who was it?”

“I’m sorry?”

“The man Eloise, who was it? Did he take advantage of you? Did he threaten you? Did he-“

“No!” Eloise shot up defending Theo, the mystery gentleman to her mother. “It was my decision Mama; I chose to go through with it. I am not going to tell you who it was! I will not risk him from being harmed!” She started pacing the room, the realisation not fully sunken in yet.

“Eloise how could you? Do you know what you have done to yourself, to our family!”

“Oh I am sure the family name will be just fine Mama, no one would know me having sex other than us!” Violet squirmed at the use of the word ‘sex’. It made her feel as if her daughter was just another one of those prostitutes in the brothels.

“You could be with child Eloise!” Violet reminded her. Her tone was matching her daughters; however, she was mindful not to awake the others.

“And how would you know that Mama? Did someone see me and Th- us together? How could you have possibly come to that conclusion?” she snapped.

“I have had eight children dear, trust me when I say that I know. You have been ill ever so randomly, I watched you in the carriage You could not stand to be in there, as if you were going to be sick at any given moment! You have been off of your food, you have hardly eaten these last couple of days and let me guess, I can guarantee that your..." Violet pointed at Eloise's chest.

"My breasts?"

The dowager let out an awkward cough " Yes, they are sore and tender are they not?"

"Well yes, they are quite painful but sorry Mama, I am failing to understand what my breasts have anything in relation to me 'being with child?."

"Your maid, she addressed me with concerns that you have not had your courses for a while."

"My courses?" Eloise scoffs, rightly upset and angry that her body is being discussed without her consent. "I believe that I have only missed one of my courses Mama, one!"

"Eloise, your symptoms are just as mine were, and poor Daphne with little Augie. Your brother, Kate and I will have to discuss about what to do now that you have been 'compromised' but we must take you to see a doctor immediately, then we can at least decide what to do if you are in fact with child. Perhaps we could send you to Aunt Winnie, no one would be none the wiser, maybe Daphne, or even Kate and Anthony would-"

"STOP IT! Please just stop! Are you listening to yourself Mama? Do you truly think so little of me to just send me away if I am in fact with child! You have not even asked how I may feel about this! You have kept us girls, your daughters in the dark for so long about our own bodies! You do understand that I have never wanted children Mama, don't you? I think I have made that clear many times, yet you still have not cared to take the time to ask about my feelings! Do you know what Mama, I will make this a little bit easier for you."

Eloise marched towards her wardrobe and forcefully pulled a few dresses off of their hangers, next she went to her chest of drawers, then her vanity and lastly grabbed a few books and threw everything on her bed. The last thing that she took was some money that she had saved, not a lot but maybe enough for a few meals and a room at an Inn. She reached underneath her bed and pulled out a bag which she proceeded to frantically stuff it with all of the items that she had gathered. Her eyes were streaming with tears but was she angry, upset or embarrassed that her mother thought so low of her? Once packed, Eloise stormed towards her door and grabbed the doorknob.

"Eloise what do you think you are doing?" Violet who had been previously stood, frozen in shock at the overall situation snapped back into reality at the sound of her daughters hand making contact with the door.

"I am making it a whole lot easier for you Mama. Do not worry, I assure you that your precious family name will not be ruined because of me. I will no longer be a burden for you, for Anthony, for anyone anymore!" And with that Eloise swung open the door and stormed through the corridor and down the main stairs of the Bridgerton house. Her mother was trying to keep up behind her calling out her name, however Eloise's rage was forcing her towards the front door. She was just about to leave with no hesitation until she heard her mother call begging her to wait which stopped her from marching through the door.

"Eloise! Eloise wait, please!" The daughter slowly turned around to meet her mother's pleading eyes "Where are you going? Please say, please! We can talk this through, please do not be so haste!"

It was then that Eloise realised that all of her siblings and a few of their servants had come out of their bedchambers to see what all of the commotion was about. The two had long abandoned trying to keep their voices down. She looked past her mother who was stood with her arms open in the middle of the entranceway. Eloise glanced up towards the top of the staircase, her eyes met with Benedict's who was just as confused and worried as the rest of her siblings. Something about seeing her brother's face made her question her own actions, perhaps she is being too haste? Where was she actually planning to go? Eloise looked back towards her mother who was still stood with pleading arms, beckoning her daughter to run into them and something was pushing Eloise to do just that. That was until-

"Please dearest, stay. There is a way that we can protect both you and our family-"

Unbelievable she thought. Eloise turned back toward the door and swung it open. The cold early February air hit her in the face, the tears that still ran down her cheeks felt like they would freeze. Eloise took a deep breath of fresh air, turned to face her mother once more and strongly replied "Goodbye Mama."

Chapter Text

“What has just happened?” Gregory asked his Mama who still remained stood facing the door, frozen, not able to move an inch as she watched her daughter storm out of the house. Violet knew that she needed to chase her, to stop Eloise from making such a haste decision and from disappearing forever, however her feet could not move.

“Mama?” Another one of her children spoke “Mama are you not going to go after her? It is too dangerous for Eloise to be out alone!” Violet was forced back to her senses when she felt Benedict brush past her, marching towards the front door. “You cannot let her leave Mother! If you are not going to stop her, then I will!” He quickly threw on his coat and slammed the door behind him.

“What has just happened?” The question was once again repeated, however by Anthony.

“I…I…”

“Come on darling” Kate’s gentle hand rested in her husband’s shoulder “Let us leave you mother for a moment. I am sure that Benedict will soon catch up to Eloise and we can discuss the matter then.” Anthony nodded in agreement and told the others to go back to bed. Kate guided Violet to a chair in the entrance way, waiting in hope that Benedict will quickly return with Eloise.

……….

“Eloise! El!”

Eloise could hear Benedict calling her name. She felt terrible to leave in such a way that she had, however she knew that she just needed to get away from everyone, Benedict included. She loved her brother dearly but no amount of pleading and convincing from him would make her change her mind this evening. Benedict was soon catching up to wherever Eloise’s feet were taking her as she could hear his calls getting louder and louder.

Truly, Eloise had no clue where she was going to go with little money, she could only do think to head to Bloomsbury. What would she say to Theo? Would he support her, or think that he has to marry her out of duty? Was she even with child? Her thoughts drifted as she recalled her Mama saying that the only way to know for sure was to visit a doctor and distinguish if it were actually true. Eloise hoped that it was still all just a coincidence and that she genuinely was just feeling poorly. Although the more she thought about it, taking in what her mother had said, how she and Daphne had the exact same symptoms Eloise knew deep down that it was a possibly.

“I thought pregnant women had large stomachs…surely, I would feel a baby inside of me…. how does a baby even exit a woman’s body?” So many thoughts and questions raced through Eloise's mind until another call from her brother snapped her out of them.

“EL!”

She could tell that Benedict was not too far away, hearing his boots hitting the floor as she walked. The only option for her to do was hide. Luckily Eloise knew that in another couple of yards around the next corner there was a small alley way that she hoped was dark enough to not be seen. She picked up her pace, quickly darting in the dark, damp nook holding her breath and she could her brother approaching. Eloise watched as she could see Benedict rush past, a worried look on his face whilst calling out for her. A single tear rolled down her cheek as he once again disappeared into the darkness of the empty streets leaving only the sound of her own breathing. A shiver came over Eloise's body due to it being still winter and late in the evening. She knew that she could not spend all night outside hiding in the alley as she would soon freeze. With all of the adrenaline build up in her body, her feet began to move unconsciously in the direction of Bloomsbury.

……..

Meanwhile, back in the Bridgerton household, Benedict returned after an hour a half of searching without Eloise. Violet quickly shot up off of her chair in hopes that her daughter was following behind. When her son gave a small shake of his head Violet crumbled to the floor in a heap, tears spilling uncontrollably. Anthony slowly made his way to his mother, placing a hand on her back to comfort her. “Mother, you must tell us what happened between the two of you earlier.”

Violet glanced up through teary eyes to see the worried look on her eldest son’s face. She nodded and managed to compose herself. “Not here, in your father’s study.”

…….

Anthony, Kate, Benedict and Colin sat in silence and utter shock as Violet recalled what had escalated between them just a few hours earlier.

“That cannot be possible!” Anthony was the first to speak, no shout. He had shot up from his chair, his fists clenched into tight balls.

“We must go and find Eloise immediately!” He was just about to remove himself from the room before Kate managed to speak.

“My love, please come and sit back down, let us talk this through together.” She patted the chair beside her, encouraging her husband to calm down. “I understand how it sounds; however, we must let Eloise have her space. She is a bright, smart girl-” Anthony scoffs at his wife’s statement. “She is a smart woman who knows that being outside at this time of night is dangerous, I am sure that she has not wondered far, she has most likely taken shelter at the Featheringtons. I feel that we must put ourselves in Eloise’s shoes for a moment. She is most likely scared and in just as much, if not more shock than we are. Please remember, that Eloise had absolutely no idea about pregnancy, how to understand and manage symptoms. For all she knew, she was just feeling rather groggy and run down, only to be told otherwise. We all know that she had no intention of being with child, she was just exploring and if what she told you were true Violet, she consented fully. Being with child was one of her worst nightmares, and now it has become a reality.”

Anthony glanced over towards his wife to meet her eyes, his own full of tears threating to spill. “I have failed her.” He chocked out. Before he could continue Benedict spoke up.

“We have all failed her brother. I thought that she could tell me anything, she could have trusted me. Mama, we should have educated her on her own body, explained how a woman does become with child when she asked us a year or so ago.” Benedict chucking to himself remembering when Eloise interrupted Daphne playing the pianoforte, Colin and himself enjoying the joke about visiting a farm between the two of them. “One thing I do know for sure, is that our sister is stubborn and almost too independent. She would have done anything that she did not want to do.”

Even though everyone in the room did not want to believe it, they all knew that Benedict was right. They would all have to agree that knowing Eloise was in fact telling the truth, she was not taken advantage of, she knew what she was consenting to. The family agreed it best to try and get some rest and that they will all search for Eloise in the morning allowing her some time to process the events of the evening.

………

Chancery Lane printers. Where it all started. If Eloise had not come in search of Whistledown all those months ago, she would not be in this predicament. However, she would not have met Mr Theo Sharpe. She stood far enough away from the shop to be hidden in the dark night, but she could see that a light was coming from inside. Eloise slowly walked towards the printers, but first stopping to take a peek in the small window. When Theo was nowhere to be seen, Eloise felt as if she would cry. All of her efforts to come here, wasted. She was frozen, unsure of what to do next, should she knock anyway? His living space was only upstairs so surely, he must be in. Her thoughts were cut off at the sound of stacks of paper coming from the other side of the shop which frightened her causing her to stumble backwards knocking over some flower pots.

“Who's there?” It was him. Eloise wanted to call to him but in her panic, she quickly scrambled to her feet and hid behind the corner of the shop. She held her breath just as she did when Benedict was searching for her.

“I said who's there? Hello?” Theo approached to where Eloise had previously been, examining the broken pots. He looked around, however due to it being dark and no one else in the street he put them back down to clear away in the morning.

“Bloody animals.” He muttered and went inside the shop. Eloise could see the lights being turned off. She was alone once again.

In a quick decision, Eloise decided best to try and find an inn, she hoped that they had a spare room. She just needed some sleep, to forget about the evening events and hopefully wake up and find it were all just a dream. She knew there was a small inn nearby in Bloomsbury that Theo had previously told her about and proceeded to find it.

The sound of men's loud drunken chatter led her in the right direction. Once she stood inside, she was hit by a thick cloud of smoke and the smell of ale and tobacco wafted through the air. Many of the men stared and whistled, and she felt disgusted, she knew that they were looking at her as if she were a toy to play with. Head held high, avoiding any eye contact, Eloise walked towards the bar. “Alright love what's a fine young lady like yourself doing in a place like this?” The bartender asked.

“Have you any spare rooms? I am desperate.” She admittingly pleaded as she held out her hand, revealing the coins. It was not much to Eloise, but to the men in the bar it was at least six months earnings. “I can pay.” She handed the bartender nearly all of the coins, far too much than what was expected. He stared at Eloise; he could tell just how exhausted she was just from looking at her. He took what the room was worth and handed back the remaining coins.

“Room 11. Please follow me Miss.” She mouthed a thank you and proceeded to follow the gentleman. Eloise knew that he could have taken all of her money and yet he remained truthful to her.

Once alone, Eloise climbed into the small wooden bed. A sigh escaped her lips, and she soon began sobbing. This was the first time in a few hours that she had stopped, her adrenaline finally letting her rest. She could not go back to her home, she did not know how to talk to Theo. Eloise felt alone, the mystery of whether she was actually in fact with child still lingered. She was never one to want children, completely against the idea of being a full-time carer to a child, however, something about it being Theo’s child made her smile. No, she never wanted anyone of the Ton’s bloody offsprings, but maybe, just maybe she did want Theo’s.

Chapter Text

The next morning the family were up way before sunrise in hope that Eloise had returned unnoticed throughout the night. However, when Benedict had knocked on her bedchamber door, only an empty room with a perfectly made-up bed greeted him. A horrible gut-wrenching feeling struck him in his stomach, he knew that Eloise was a strong, independent young woman, however she was still so naive about ‘the real world’ outside of the safety of their home.

Everyone struggled to eat any of their breakfast that was in front of them, no one having much of an appetite. The room was full of intense silence and tension, no one wanting to be the first to speak. The two youngest siblings were the last to join the family in the dining room, both sitting down waiting for their breakfast to be brought over for them. Hyacinth glanced around the table noticing that her sister’s chair was empty.

“Has Eloise still not returned?” She asked. Everyone gave each other awkward glances unsure how to break the news to the younger children. They both were still so young, revealing any details of Eloise’s disappearance would surely upset them further. Hyacinth took the silence as an answer, understanding that Eloise had still not come home.

“No, she has not yet.” Kate responded breaking the silence. “I suggest that we pay the Featherington’s a visit after breakfast. I am sure Eloise spent the evening with Miss Penelope and rested there last night.”

“Why would Eloise go to Penelope? I did not know that they had made up after their falling out.” Hyacinth noted. No one had thought about the argument that occurred between the two former best friends a few months ago. ‘Perhaps Eloise and Penelope had put their differences aside and rekindled their friendship due to Eloise’s haste’ Kate thought.

“I shall go to the Featherington’s home momentarily dear.” Violet spoke. “Anthony, Kate would you please join me?” The husband and wife both gave a simple nod in response.

.............

The three Bridgerton’s were soon led to the Featherington’s drawing room by Varley. Portia was sat on their settee looking at herself in her hand mirror. Penelope was also sat down in the corner of the room quietly reading a small book.

“The Viscount, Viscountess and Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton’s my Lady.” Portia quickly stuffed the mirror under a cushion and stood to greet her guests.

“Lord Bridgerton, Lady Bridgerton’s.” She curtsied “What brings this sudden visit? Would you like some tea? Varley!” She called for Varley who quickly came rushing into the room and stood by the door waiting for her orders to be given.

“We are quite fine for tea, thank you Lady Featherington.” Kate responded. Portia nodded to Varley, letting her know that she was excused. “We are sorry to visit so quickly, without notice Lady Featherington, however, we have come here in search of Eloise. She disappeared last night after a…disagreement… and has not returned home. Did she come here?” Penelope placed her book down on the table and sat up straighter at the news that Eloise was missing.

“I am terribly sorry to disappoint, however Miss Eloise never came here. I do hope all is well with her.” Portia spoke, genuinely concerned for the young woman. “If I might ask…what was the cause of her disappearance?” Portia was clearly trying to nose her way for more information. The Bridgerton’s remained silent, looking at each other trying to avoid answering.

“Mama, you cannot ask such a question!” Penelope finally spoke.

“I did not mean to pry dear!” Her mother replied, clearly lying. “However, perhaps what she was disagreeing about is where she has gone. Maybe she has gone to find something, or someone?”

“The boy.” Violet muttered to herself.

“Yes, but we do not know who he is Mother. Eloise would not disclose his name to you before she left, remember.” Anthony stated, receiving an upset look and nod from Violet.

After a few minutes of more silence Kate thought it best to continue their search for Eloise. “Well thankyou for you hospitality Lady Featherington, farewell.” The three Bridgerton’s bid their farewells to the two ladies however before they could leave through the door Penelope stood up from where she was sitting.

“I believe I may know who the boy is.” She spoke nervously, her eyes squeezed shut at the realisation that she would be revealing Eloise’s secrets.

“You do?” Violet asked hopeful. Penelope nodded and gulped nervously. She knew exactly who the boy that Violet spoke about was and imagined that Eloise had rekindled her friendship with Theo.

“I believe she may be with Mr Theo Sharpe, the printers apprentice from Chancery Lane Printers in Bloomsbury.” Still avoiding any eye contact, she could hear the adults all gasp in shock at the fact that Eloise was in contact with a commoner.

“A printers apprentice. Are you sure?” Anthony asked. Penelope nodded finally looking up to meet his eyes.

“Yes. In Lady Whistledown’s issue that shamed Eloise for spending her time with political radicals, Mr Sharpe was one of them. They became very close with each other, I tried to warn her however she-“

“Is this what caused the falling out between the two of you?” Violet cut her off.

“Somewhat.” Was all Penelope could respond without revealing her secret identity of being Lady Whistledown.

“We must make haste Mother; we must go straight to Bloomsbury!” Anthony was getting impatient, angry and disapproval in his voice. Not only was Eloise with child, but a commoner was also most likely the father!

The Bridgerton’s once again said their farewells and proceeded to leave in search of Mr Sharpe. Kate quickly grasped Penelope’s hands and whispered a sincere ‘thank you.’

…………

Theo heard loud banging coming from the front door of the printers which startled him, making him drop the loose papers that he held. The master printer agreed to close the shop for a day to allow time for any outstanding orders that need to be completed. There was a clear ‘closed’ sign on the door; whoever was banging either could not read or needed attention urgently. Theo quickly scooped up the fallen papers and placed them down on the table, then proceeded to head towards the door to unlock it.

“I am sorry, but we are clos-“ A  well-dressed man barged in pushing Theo back nearly knocking him off of his feet.

“Are you Theo Sharpe?” He butted in, not listening to what Theo had been saying previously.

“I…Yes that is me, but may I ask-“ Anthony grabbed hold of Theo’s shirt, pushing him against the wall.

“YOU! You have some explaining to do! How dare you! How dare you ruin my sister!” Anthony spat, his grip getting tighter, his face bright red with anger. “Where is she?”

“Who? Where is who?!” Theo struggled against the man not having a clue what was happening.

“Do not patronise me boy! Do you think I am stupid?! Where is Eloise?” Anthony shouted in Theo’s face.

“Anthony let him go!” A woman’s voice came from behind them. The deranged man glanced back to the woman, then back to Theo and reluctantly let him go. Theo coughed and straightened his shirt and vest out, composing himself before he could speak. He soon noticed that another woman, older than the one who put a stop to him from being strangled by the man stood behind them. He quickly put two and two together, understanding that this was Eloise’s family. The man must have been a brother as there were a few facial similarities between them and the older woman was quite clearly Eloise’s mother, the two looked scarily alike. ‘What a great first impression’ Theo thought to himself.

“Where is she?” Anthony asked again, his voice still strong and stern.

“I do not know. She is not here.” Theo replied, confused as to what was going on.

“Damn it boy! I will not ask again. WHERE. IS. ELOISE?!”

“I swear Lord Bridgerton!” He held his hands up in honesty. “I have not seen Eloise since before Christmas.”

“Damn it!” Anthony spat. He held the bridge of his nose, pacing around the shop.

“Before Christmas you say?” Violet recalled to which Theo nodded.

“It was you.” She muttered quietly. She glanced up to meet the young man in the eye.

“I…I am sorry, I am not understanding what is going on? Has anything happened to Eloise?” Theo soon realised that the matter was serious and the three were desperately searching for the sister and daughter. The woman who he loved so very much, who his heart was devoted to. He knew that Elosie and her family would have only returned a day or two prior and he was waiting to see her. Theo desperately wanted to send her letters but decided that it was best not to as it may raise suspicions as to why she was receiving mail at Aubrey Hall.

“Miss Bridgerton to you.” Anthony remarked. Theo nodded his head, not wanting to upset the man further.

“What has happened to her? Please.” Theo begged.

It was Kate’s turn to speak, addressing Theo calmly. He could tell that she was kind and most likely head strong, much like his love. “Eloise is…she is with child. She has also been missing since last night.” Theo felt his jaw physically drop. “And if your timing is correct, that you in fact have not seen her since before Christmas, then you are the father. Am I right in thinking that this could be true? That you and Eloise had…relations with each other?” Theo couldn’t reply, his knees felt weak, and he needed to sit down. His palms began to feel clammy and sweat radiated off of his body. Eloise was pregnant with his child! And she was missing! His heart began to race at the thought of her all alone.

“How…how do you know about us?” He finally managed to mutter after a few minutes of silence.

“A friend of Eloise’s advised us of who and where to find you. Eloise herself made it quite clear what had happened between the two of you. And now she…she…” His fists clenched into tight balls.

“And now she has not returned since last night.” Kate finished her husband’s sentence for him.

“I never....” Theo looked at the faces of Eloise’s family, all full of worry. “We never meant for this to happen. But please believe me when I say that I never pushed Miss Eloise, I never took advantage of her. She knew that all she had to do was say the word and I would not have proceeded any further! We love each other, I love her so much that my heart cannot cope!” Theo knew that they most likely thought that he was making this up to protect himself, but he needed her family to understand that what happened between the two of them was fully consensual. This time it was Violet’s turn to speak.

“Mr Sharpe” A hesitant hand reached towards him, but she quickly retrieved it back to her side. “My daughter informed me that she knew what she was getting into. I suppose we are all at fault in one way or another. I should have taken it upon me to educate my daughters on their bodies. The poor girl had no clue what was happening to her, she thought she was just feeling under the weather…She must be terrified, and she is all alone…” Violet eyes started welling up “Anthony, we must continue our search for her immediately!”

Anthony nodded ushered the two women out of the shop. Once they were out of sight he turned back to Theo “We are not finished here Mr Sharpe. Trust me when I say that you will pay if we cannot find my sister. I will be back.” Theo gulped nervously and nodded. Mr Bridgerton was gone as quick as he arrived.

Once Theo was alone again, he finally felt as if he could breathe. The small relief was soon cut short as the remembered that Eloise was missing. ‘Why would she not come to him? She must be so scared and worried about what was happening to her’ he thought. He needed to know that she was safe.

…….

The following evening Theo decided that he needed to escape the printers shop. There was no way that the outstanding orders were getting finished that day as he could not take him mind off of Eloise. Theo not one for drinking alcohol, however he needed something to take the edge off and clear his head. Once at his local inn he proceeded to walk straight up to the bar to order. It was fairly quiet still as it was not quite dark yet, the regulars not pounding their way in. He recognised a few familiar faces and greeted them with a nod and a quick ‘good evening’.

“Evening Theo, what can I get you?” The bartender asked.

“Just a beer please Charlie, oh and a bowl of stew, I have not yet eaten; my mind is everywhere today…”

Charlie handed Theo the cold beer to which he gladly sipped the foam off of the top. “Sorry Theo, I’m afraid we are all out of stew, the last portion was not long sold to the lady over there.” Charlie pointed subtly across the room to a young woman who was sat at a corner table reading a book. “Poor girl” he lent across the bar to whisper to Theo “Came here last night freezing cold. She was clearly distressed, probably hiding from a forced marriage that the lasses in Mayfair are pushed into.”

Theo looked over his should at the woman, he could not see her face as she was wearing a dark blue cloak which hid her features and clothes that she wore. He instantly recognised the book that she was so engrossed in ‘Women’s Rights’ he had the same exact book that he had previously let Eloise borrow. The woman was oblivious to her surroundings, her hand constantly reaching to turn the page or spoon some more stew into her mouth. As she leant forward to scoop the last spoonful of stew, some of her dark brunette curls fell down from her hood. She quickly tucked the strands of hair behind her ear which pushed the cloak hood back revealing her side profile. Theo gasped in shock at the realisation of who the young woman was.

“Eloise?”

Chapter Text

“Eloise?” She heard a familiar voice say from across the room. She glanced up and immediately caught his eye. Before Eloise had a chance to quickly cover her face with her cloak hood, Theo was already making his way to her. He pulled out the chair opposite and sat down staring at her. Eloise was trying everything to avoid his gaze, fidgeting with her book, or her bowl and spoon.

“Eloise why are you trying to act as if I am not here?” She finally looked up and met his eyes. She could tell from his worried expression that he was hurting from something, something deeper than her just ignoring him.

“I…” she struggled to form a sentence, she felt as if all of her words were scrambling together. Theo reached his hand across the table and gently placed it on hers, his warmth instantly comforting her slightly. “Theo I need to tell you something, something important I-“

“I know.” He cut her off. Eloise was instantly taken back, stunned as he spoke. He knew? They must be talking about two different things as there was no possible way that he could know what she was about to say!

“You know?” He only nodded his head and gave her hand a small squeeze.

“Your mother, brother and another, kind lady came to the shop this morning in search of you. They told me that you had not returned home after last night. Your brother he…but the other woman-“

“Kate I assume”

Theo nodded, glad to have a name for the face. He leant across the table lowering his voice so no one could hear “She told me that your mother believes that you may be with child.”

“How…how did they find you? I swore that I would not tell them your name! I did not want you to be harmed! Oh gosh, Anthony…did he hurt you? Did he-“

“Eloise” he cut her off again. “No, he did not hurt me.” Eloise breathed a sigh of relief.  Theo let go of Eloise’s hand, the sudden lack of contact ached her heart. “Why did you not come to me? When your family informed me that you were missing, I could not fathom it! I wanted to search for you, however I needed to stay at the shop in case you showed up there.”

“I did. I…I was scared. I stood outside the shop for what felt like hours, but I just could not bring myself to knock on the door. I have ruined everything with my family, I could not risk losing you too.” She fought to hold back any tears that threatened to spill, trying to stay calm. “I knew that in my haste it was not thinking straight and I panicked, so I came here…I understand if you do not wish to see me again Theo, you should not have to go through hell because of my doing.”

“You cannot be serious Eloise? Do you truly believe that I would just walk away and abandon you, after everything that we have been through! I meant what I said that night, I love you, Eloise. I love you so much that my heart could not cope if I ever lost you! Child or not, I will always be with you.” Any tears that Eloise had been holding back finally rolled down her cheeks. A sense of relief knowing that she would no longer be alone.

After what felt like an eternity of comfortable silence Eloise finally spoke “How did my brother not kill you?” She chuckled slightly earning a laugh in response from Theo.

“Honesty, I am not quite sure. I have never seen a gentleman so angry before.” They both found a small light in their conversation, being able to find a little bit of humour in their conversation just like how they would normally interact. Their laughter slowly fades before Theo spoke “The are really worried about you Eloise.”

“Angry you mean.” She scoffed.

“Your brother perhaps, however I feel that was more aimed towards me, as I was the man who ‘ruined’ his little sister. As for your mother and sister-in-law, I would not necessarily say angry, maybe disappointed. Your mother said that she feels partly to blame for all of this, that she should have educated you on your body and not have kept you in the dark about such matters.” Eloise sat in silence soaking in what Theo was telling her. She so wished to run back to her Mama, to embrace her and reassure her family that she is safe, however she could not forgive how her mother reacted the previous night, not quite yet.

“Theo, I do not know what to do…what if I am with child? I cannot expect you to take me in and my brother would surely drag me back to Mayfair the second he realises where I am!”

“Of course, you can stay with me Eloise, I would not expect you to stay here forever!” She smiled slightly before he spoke again “I have some money saved, not huge amount however it is more than enough to get you checked by a doctor, at least we can then understand where this situation lies. As for your family, I do not want to tell you what to do of course, but please promise me that you will consider informing them that you are safe, perhaps write a letter to them if you do not wish to see them in person. They were genuinely worried about you El.”

Eloise nodded in response “I will, I promise Theo, I will write a letter to them.” She let out a sigh “I cannot go back just yet; Anthony will keep me locked away in the house for months on end! Once, or I should say if, the child is born I would have to act as if it were not mine, it is the only way to prevent a scandal…my family cannot handle another one! I would like to come back to the shop with you, if that is ok with you? I will obviously contribute towards me being there, I have some money with me, although I am not quite sure how much exactly.”

“We will be fine Eloise.” He reached his hands out to clasp both of hers “But first let us get out of this place, I will help you with your belongings; what room were you staying in?” Eloise glanced down at the small bag that was next to her.

“This was all I managed to pack.” She responded quietly.

Theo nodded, stood up and reached out an offering hand to help her up which she gladly accepted. Eloise quickly rushed over to Charlie the bartender and thanked him for helping her when she needed it most and they both said their farewells before heading back to the printers shop.

……… One week later……….

“You are certainly with child Miss.” The doctor stated as he sat back up straight after examining Eloise.

“You are sure? For certain?” She responded.

“Yes, I would say about 2 months along. Is there anything else I can help with whilst I am here Miss?” She shook her head and slowly sat herself back up on Theo’s bed that they had been sharing. A few nights prior, Theo was adamant that he would sleep on the floor and allow Eloise to have his bed, she argued with him but quickly lost her case. The same night that they had argued Eloise was woken by a nightmare that she was having, Theo quickly comforted her, and they both fell asleep on his bed together. The following morning, Theo profusely apologized, however Eloise’s response was ‘if I am with child, I cannot get pregnant again!’

“Thank you doctor” Theo said as she showed the doctor out. Once he returned back upstairs Eloise was in the exact same place as when he left her, staring into space.

“I…I know that if was most likely true, given the symptoms that Mama had mentioned, and what you have also told me, however, actually hearing it from a doctor has…it is…” Eloise slumped forward and sobbed as she brought her knees to her chest. Theo quickly joined her on their bed to comfort her. He wrapped his arm around Eloise’s shoulder and pulled her into a tight yet comforting embrace. She nestled her head into the crook between his neck and shoulder and he let her cry into him, her emotions were taking over. A single small tear rolled down his own cheek. Reality had finally sunken in.

Chapter Text

Dear Ben,

I am sure by now that you have found out about what happened between myself and Mama. Please know that I am so terribly sorry for any trouble that I may have caused, I never intended for any of this to happen or to upset anyone. I wish I could see you however I cannot bring myself to come back to Mayfair just yet. I wanted to let you and everyone else know that I am safe and well. I had a doctor’s visit, and it is true, I am in fact with child.

Please, Ben I beg of you do not let anyone come and look for me, I promise that I will come home when I am ready, I also beg that no harm comes to Theo, I have seen him since, he is supportive and is more of a gentleman than I deserve, however for his own safety I am not currently staying with him.

Please do with this information as you wish, tell Mama and Anthony, or do not, I do not mind. I just wanted to let you know that I am ok. I hope to speak to you soon.

Yours, El.

“You do understand that your family will still come here in hope to find you?” Theo mentioned as he finished reading the letter that Eloise had written; he did not wish to read her private letters, however Eloise wanted Theo to proofread and check that she had not missed out anything important.

Eloise nodded in response “I know, we just have to be extra vigilant, I will hide away if they come looking.”

“I do not think it will be that easy Eloise, are you sure that you do not want to go back to your home? I do not want you to feel obliged to stay here with me, your family…they can provide for you better than myself and -”

“Theo” Eloise cut him off, stopping him from belittling himself. Eloise rose from her chair and walked towards to where Theo was leaning against the table. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder, fiddling with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I do not wish anything but to be here with you. Besides, if I were to go back, I would be locked away, caged like an animal, our child would be passed off as Daphne’s or Anthony’s or a distant cousin…I would not be able to live with myself knowing the truth, that I was really their mother.” Eloise finished, she stared at the floor failing to stop the tears that had built up in her eyes from falling. Theo placed a small kiss on Eloise’s forehead and leant his chin gently against her head embracing her warmth.

“I think I am ready to talk about it now” Eloise spoke hesitantly as she lifted her head up to meet Theo’s eyes.

Four days had passed since Eloise’s doctors visit. Theo allowed Eloise to have her space, time to think and take everything in and also grieve at the sudden loss of her family; whilst they were still very much alive, she felt as if they were not, as if she would never see them again. Eloise also had to worry about Theo’s safety, Anthony would quite literally kill him if she did not contact her family. The day following the doctor’s visit, Theo tried to get Eloise to talk to him and express her thoughts however she was reluctant to do so, still needing time to process. Theo thought that it was best to let her come to him, and he will be waiting for when she is ready.

“I do not, I never have wished to have children.” She spoke quietly, feeling guilty. “I feel as if I would lose myself if I had a child, I would become bound to a life full of babies, caring for a household and only do what women are ‘supposed’ to do. I am having a child out of wedlock for goodness sake! Yes, although I feel as if marriage is a confinement and leads to a life of misery, I cannot help but feel for our child who will be cast aside due to no fault of their own! I am bringing my child into a world where if they are born a bastard they will be looked down upon for their whole life, I cannot do-”

“Marry me.”

“Pardon? Theo I am already pregnant, this is not-”

“Eloise, I do not care about our child being a bastard or being born out of wedlock however, I care about you. I wish, no I need to spend the rest of my life with you! I know you do not like and agree with marriage, however your ideas and opinions were always towards gentlemen of the Ton. I am not like those gentlemen, I respect your view, your wishes and your thoughts, I love you Eloise and I cannot imagine my life without you! So, Eloise Bridgerton, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

She stared in silence taking it all in. Yes, it was true, her views about marriage, however as Theo has stated, men from the Ton were ghastly! She loved Theo with her whole heart and could not imagine her life without him. She could picture their future together, in a small cottage outside of London, with fresh flowers in the garden and her children running around outside. So, she nodded “Yes, I will.”

Tears feel from both of their eyes as Eloise jumped into Theo’s arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Cupping his cheeks, Eloise crushed her lips onto Theo’s as he spun them around with joy. Once they had broken apart for a much needed breath, Eloise placed her forehead against Theo’s “Can we go upstairs? I would like to…I mean if you would also like to…I definitely cannot become pregnant again whilst already being pregnant surely?” She rambled on to herself.

Theo chuckled “No my love, you cannot. But yes, let us go upstairs.”

………………………

Benedict had received Eloise’s letter the next day. The servant had brought him his daily mail, scanning through them he cast aside the usual letters about art and poetry exhibitions however a small, light blue envelop caught his attention, he instantly recognised her handwriting. Benedict tore open the letter, careful to not tear anything inside; once he had finished reading, he wiped away the tears that he had not realised had fallen. He wished to be able to keep her letter a secret, however his mother who was beside herself as she was terrified for the safety and whereabouts of her daughter, deserved to know.

When Benedict found his mother, she was in Anthony’s study sat in his chair. Anthony was yet again pacing back and forth, holding the bridge of his nose, between the two of them, they looked rather dull and like they had only a few hours of sleep since Eloise’s disappearance.

“Surely there must be a way to bring her home, that we can have her here whilst keeping our family name-”

“My darling” His mother cut her oldest son off “She would not, no, we cannot keep her locked away like an animal, this is Eloise that we are talking about here; I think we need to come to our senses a little. I would much rather have her home with us, and our name be ruined than have her out there by herself, caring for an infant, my grandchild, your niece or nephew! She must come home where she can be looked after.”

“I do as well Mama, of course I do! However, it will be a scandal that will for sure ruin us entirely, I am only trying to protect our family and it’s future as well as my sister! I still believe that once we find her location, she will be brought home and act as though the child is a cousin-”

“No.” Benedict interrupted catching the attention of Violet and Anthony. Benedict waved the letter in his hand “I…she has written to me.” Benedict proceeded to read the letter aloud as Violet sobbed as she was relieved that her daughter was alive.

“She is safe.” She cried.

“Yes Mama, she is safe.” Benedict replied walking over to place his hand on his mother’s shoulder to sooth her cries.

“You must write back to her; we need to bring her home!” Anthony exclaimed.

“There is no address brother, also, she has clearly stated that she will come to us when she is ready, we need to give her time.”  

With this, Benedict bid his mother and brother farewell and left to gather his coat, heading towards the servants area of the house. He knew his sister better than anyone else in their family, he knew when she was lying, telling the truth or hiding something. Benedict knew that whilst she said that she was no longer with the printer’s apprentice, she really had nowhere else to go.

“Ah John!” Footman John quickly shot up and stood to attention whilst bowing slightly.

“Mr Bridgerton, can I be of assistance?”

“I need you to take me to Bloomsbury please.”

……………………………

“Eloise are you sure that you are ok? You have been in there for quite some time, let me at least bring you some water.” Theo spoke on the opposite side of the shut door.

“No Theo” She called back “I am fine, truly. I will be out in a moment.”

Eloise has experienced a serious amount of morning sickness on this particular day, she had rushed into hers and Theo’s bedchamber to empty the contents of her stomach and had not been back out for over an hour. She was still quite private in this sense, or embarrassed Theo thought. Whilst he did not mind seeing her vomit and be in such as state, he wanted to help her in anyway that he possibly could.

“Are you sure my love? I do feel awful that you have to go through-”

“Hello?” Theo heard a male voice call form downstairs in the print shop.

“I will be just a moment!” Theo called back. “El, I need to-”

“Go Theo, I am fine honestly!” she replied. He could still hear Eloise making horrendous sounds as he began to walk down the stairs. He saw a well-dressed gentleman stood with his back to him. He was investigating the papers that were hung up to dry along the shop.

“I am sorry sir; how may I help you?”  The gentle man whipped his body around and Theo instantly knew who he was, well, at least who he was related to. The gentleman was defiantly one of the many brothers that he had not yet had the pleasure of meeting. The eyes, the facial features, expressions and hair colour, there was no doubt that this gentleman was a Bridgerton.

“Good afternoon, Mr Sharpe.” Benedict reached out his hand, Theo braced for impact as memories of his close encounter with Eloise’s oldest brother resurfaced. However, there was no impact, the man held out his hand in an offer to shake Theo’s. “I am Benedict Bridgerton. Is my sister here?”

Theo quickly understood why this brother seemed kinder and had a smile on his face as soon as he heard his name. Eloise had often spoke about her favourite brother Benedict. Although he still could not fathom why he had not pummelled him yet, he had gotten his sister pregnant, it was an unheard of situation within the ton, especially as he was just a commoner.

“I…Sir, I regret to inform you that Eloise is not-”

Theo was cut off by the sound of Eloise voice as she proceeded to make her way downstairs to the shop. She was looking down ensuring to watch her step, wiping any remaining vomit off of her mouth with her sleeve.

“My gosh, why do they call it morning sickness! I can assure you that it is most definitely not just in the morn-” She looked up meeting the eyes of a familiar face “Ben.”

“Good to see you sister.”

Chapter Text

“Ben?” Eloise repeated shocked to see her older brother standing in front of her. She closed her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. “Ben, I trusted you, I specifically requested that no one-”

“I know El” Her brother interrupted “I am sorry; however, I assure you that no one else knows of me being here. When I read your letter, I knew that you were still here in Bloomsbury, I may always be lost in my paintings, however I am not naive sister, well not as much as Anthony” He let a slight chuckle escape his lips.

“So…they really believe me? That I am not in Bloomsbury?” Ben nodded his head in response. Eloise turned to Theo who had been stood silent watching the two siblings banter on. “Wow I cannot believe that it actually worked!” The three laughed and Theo could not believe that even in a situation such as this, the two siblings were jesting about their other family members.

Once their laughter had eventually come to a stop, Eloise’s smile faded, her face turning serious. She fiddled with her fingernails whilst looking away to avoid Benedict’s gaze.

“Sister-”

“I am not coming home Ben” she stated.

“I know” Eloise glanced up, waiting for a catch to his statement. “I am not here to bring you back home Eloise. I just needed to check for myself that you were safe and well. You are well, are you not? He asked hesitantly whilst moving his gaze to her stomach. Eloise nodded in response and crossed her arms over her stomach feeling slightly self-conscious; the action made Benedict break his eyes away, not wanted his sister to feel embarrassed.

“I am well.”

“You do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed El, especially with me you know that as much.” Eloise looked back towards her brother, his facial expression was soft and caring, she knew that he was being sincere. “How have you been doing? I assume you have had a bout of morning sickness; I hope you have not destroyed any more plant pots!” Ben jested remembering Eloise’s incident at Aubery Hall. Eloise let out a very unlady like snort, her hand flew up to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing.

“No, no plants have been ruined!” Both Eloise and Benedict could not contain their laughter any longer after they had both glanced towards Theo who looked very confused about their conversation.

“I am sorry to interrupt your conversation, however, would you like to stay for dinner Mr Bridgerton?” The asked his guest.

“Please Mr Sharpe, call me Benedict or Ben, I believe that the use for formalities is out of the window now, especially as you are to be the father of my niece or nephew.” Theo nodded and held out his hand, the two men shook each other’s hands whilst Eloise watched smiling to herself, she was grateful that they were getting along.

“Call me Theo.”

……………………

A while later, the three were sat at the table eating a delicious stew that Theo had prepared. Benedict was telling stories of when Eloise was young, whilst she was firing quick comebacks to him.

“So how is Mama, how has she been?” Eloise hesitantly asked as their topic of conversation came to a halt.

“If I am honest El, she has been distraught. She blames herself that you left, she was relieved to hear that you had written. Anthony, he is trying to find a way to bring you back home and-”

“I cannot Ben.” She interrupted abruptly.

“I understand, I did not come here to persuade you, I promise. However, when you are ready, perhaps yourself and Mr Shar- Theo, could live in Mayfair or-”

“BENEDICT!” Eloise raised her voice and pushed her chair back from the table, she knew that it was too good to be true, she knew that there was a catch. “I cannot, I will not! I do not expect you to understand, however Theo and I…it is not a life that we wish for.”  She glanced down towards Theo who remained in his seat and reached out her hand for him to grasp, he gave hers a gentle squeeze of reassurance to let her know that he is always with her. “We are to be married.”

Benedict’s eyes grew wide at the shock of his sister, a woman who has always been so opinionated on marriage reveal that she herself is to be married. “Eloise that is great! However, I thought that you do not agree with-”

“We are not to be married out of some obligation towards our situation, I love Theo and I have done for quite some time. I have never been against marriage, just a married life that would restrict me from being me. When I am with Theo, it is freeing, I am free to be who and what I want. The life that you paint for me brother is a perfect one, however in actuality, it is not and never will be ‘my perfect’. Theo and I will be just fine here or wherever we eventually end up. I do not need approval from anyone; however, I would be grateful to have your support.”

“Of course you have my support Eloise, you always have, and you always will.” Benedict rose from his seat and walked around the table to embrace his sister in a hug, Eloise gladly accepted his warmth and buried her head into his chest and allowed herself to let the tears that she had been holding back fall.

“I miss you, all of you.”

“I know, we all miss you too.” He replied, using his hand to soothe her back as he listened to her muffled cries. Benedict glanced down towards Theo, feeling sorry for the awkwardness that he may have just caused. Benedict knew that Theo would protect his sister and he was grateful that there was someone that Eloise would share her life with who will respect her. Both men gave each other a small nod of their heads.

………………

As Benedict walked through the door to is family home, he was greeted by a stern looking Anthony.

“Where have you been?”

“I am sorry Brother; I did not realise that I had to clear my activities with you.” Ben replied and stared to walk off, only to be stopped by Anthony’s hand grasping is upper arm.

“Benedict, I am not jesting. You have found her have you not?”

“I do not understa-”

“Where is she Ben? You are a terrible liar.”

“Even if I did know of our sister’s whereabouts, I would not disclose her location to you.”

“So you do know” he spat out as he pinched the bridge of his nose “She is still in Bloomsbury, isn’t she? She is still with that BOY!”

“That boy is called Mr Sharpe and Mr Sharpe is currently the only thing that his keeping our dear sister sane at the moment! Leave them be Anthony, Eloise will come home when she is ready.” He shrugged Anthony’s hand off of him and proceeded to walk up the stairs, however before he could reach them his brother called out.

“I will need to challenge Mr Sharpe to a duel.” The statement caused Benedict to turn around.

“That will not be possible Brother.” He replied.

“How so? That man has ruined our sister, he cannot-”

“It will not be possible because they have ran away together.”