Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Eureka!” Neelix exclaimed as he finally found the box of Christmas ornaments he had been looking for, crammed into a corner in the cargo bay. Although he had only learned about Christmas once he joined the crew of Voyager, it had quickly become his second favorite holiday (after Prixin, of course!), and he was especially excited this year because Naomi Wildman was old enough now to help him decorate. He couldn’t wait to tell his goddaughter all about Santa Claus and his reindeer, or to see her face when she saw the lights on the Christmas tree for the first time.

In previous years, the tree had been on the holodeck and only available for viewing during the tree trimming party, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day. Neelix had noticed that many crew members never got the chance to enjoy it because someone always had to keep the ship running. So this year, he had decided to replicate a tree and set it up in the middle of the mess hall where everyone could enjoy it for the entire month. 

Recent events (starless voids, failed slipstream drives, endless encounters with hostile aliens) had resulted in a steep decline in crew morale. But Neelix was certain that a month of holiday festivities would go a long way towards lifting everyones’ spirits. 

Neelix entered the mess hall, grunting under the weight of the box of decorations as he hefted it onto the nearest table. It wasn’t meal time, so the mess hall was only sparsely occupied with crewmen scattered around reviewing PADDs or enjoying a beverage between shifts. As he scanned the room, Neelix was delighted to see Naomi sitting at a table near the massive pine tree, engrossed in a game of Kadis-kot with Seven. Neelix picked up the heavy box once more and carried it over to their table. 

“Well now, how are my two favorite non-Starfleet crew members today?” Neelix said in an exuberant tone that made Naomi giggle and Seven roll her eyes. “How do you like the tree?” he continued, without waiting for an answer. “It’s a big one this year! I hope that we have enough decorations to cover it. If not, we may have to start making some new ornaments!” 

In her typical Seven-of-Nine way, the ex-Borg raised an eyebrow at Neelix and excused herself, claiming to have other things to do much more important than decorating for a party. As he watched her leave, it occurred to Neelix that Seven probably didn’t know much about Christmas either. He made a mental note to include her in as much of the festivities as she would allow. 

He turned back to Naomi who had begun to pull on his sleeve, trying to get his attention. “Neelix, what about the other holidays?”

Neelix looked at the little girl, quite confused. “Well, they come at different times of the year… you know, Prixin was a few months ago. And then of course Valentine’s Day is coming up and then St. Patrick’s Day…”

“I’m not talking about those ,” Naomi insisted. “I asked my mom about the tree and she said that she didn’t celebrate Christmas when she was a little girl. And neither did my dad. They don’t even have Christmas on Ktaria.”

“Well, I… oh. Hmm. Do you mean that Christmas isn’t a Federation-wide holiday?” Neelix suddenly felt very foolish. He had thought Christmas was just a fun celebration where everyone gives gifts and sings songs.  It had never occurred to him that it might have a specific cultural or even religious significance.

“But Ensign Wildman celebrated a different holiday when she was your age?”

Naomi nodded excitedly, “Yes! It’s called Hanukkah and there are games and candles and food and presents too!”

“Well it sounds like you know all about… Ha-nuh-kah?” Neelix said it slowly, trying to sound out the strange word. 

“Only a little bit,” Naomi admitted. “Mom says we lit candles in our quarters last year, but I don’t remember. But she promised to tell me the story this year. And teach me how to play the game and everything. You can come too, if you want.” 

“Naomi,” Neelix smiled warmly, “I think that is an excellent idea. In fact, that gives me an idea… but let me do some research first and if it pans out, I can tell you all about it!”

“Please, Neelix! Tell me now!” Naomi begged. “I’m old enough!”

Neelix chuckled lightly and his eyes danced with excitement. “I have no doubt that you are, my dear. Just give me until dinner time and if what I’m thinking is correct, you and I will plan a big holiday surprise for the whole crew!” 

“Dinner time? You promise ?” Naomi raised an eyebrow skeptically and Neelix briefly wondered if that was a quirk she had picked up from Seven or from Captain Janeway. 

“Cross my heart. Now, I’ve got to get working… I’ll see you later, Naomi!” Neelix called as he bustled out of the mess hall to start looking up Federation holidays. 

Naomi watched her godfather leave and shrugged before turning to pack up her Kadis-kot board. Maybe Seven of Nine would have time to finish their game before dinner.

Chapter Text

“One of my favorite parts of Hanukkah is the latkes,” Samantha recalled. “They are deep fried and absolutely terrible for you… but delicious!” 

“Do you have a recipe for these latkes?” Neelix asked eagerly.

“Of course! I don’t think that we have the ingredients on the ship though…  and I hate to waste replicator rations on something with so little nutritional value,” she admitted sadly. 

“Oh, now you just let me worry about the ingredients,” Neelix said with a reassuring  pat on her arm. “I want to make sure that everyone gets a taste of home this holiday season! So, what do I need?” 

“The most important thing is oil. All traditional Hanukkah foods are cooked in lots and lots of oil.” 

“Ah, well I see why you’re concerned about the healthfulness…” Neelix furrowed his brow for a moment but then recovered quickly when he saw the discouraged look on Samantha’s face. “But leave it to me! As you know, I specialize in squeezing as much nutrition into the meals here as possible! Besides, it’s not like gingerbread cookies and candy canes are such healthy snacks. What else do I need?” 

Sam grinned at him, even chuckled a little at his assessment of candy canes, and began listing the other ingredients with Neelix offering commentary as she went. 

“Eggs.”

“Oh! We still have quite a few Eskarian eggs from our last trade stop…” 

“Flour.”

“Flour or Flower? Never mind, we have both. I’ll figure it out.”

“Uh, the powdery kind. The one you cook with?”

“Oh yes, of course, of course!”

“And, most importantly, potatoes!”

“Po-tay-toes? I’m not sure I’m familiar with those…” Neelix admitted sheepishly.

“It’s a starchy root vegetable found on Earth. It’s too hard to eat raw but it becomes quite versatile once you cook it. They don’t have much flavor on their own but they do pick up other flavors quite nicely. For latkes, you’ll want to shred the potatoes and fry them.” 

“Hmm… versatile root vegetable…” Neelix mumbled to himself and then looked up at Sam proudly. “I have just the thing.”

Sam looked at him warily, afraid that she knew exactly what substitute he was planning… and that he was about to ruin her favorite holiday treat with leola root. “Would you like me to help? I can show you what to do…”

“No, no, don’t you worry about a thing. It will be my Hanukkah gift to you. Just send me the recipe and I’ll prepare them myself.” 

Sam knew that Neelix meant well - he always does - so she reluctantly sent him her grandmother’s latke recipe and crossed her fingers that the flavor of the oil would overwhelm the flavor of the leola root. She decided to replicate the apple sauce herself, just in case.

Chapter Text

Chakotay dipped his head low to hide an amused smile as he whispered, “Don’t look now, but Voyager’s unofficial holiday elf is on his way over here.” He had a better view of the room from his seat in the corner, so it was his job to keep Kathryn apprised of anything important happening behind her. It was more than a fair trade, from his perspective, because having her back to the room allowed Kathryn to be freer with her gestures and facial expressions. Indeed, it allowed her to throw him an over-exaggerated eye roll before she sat up straighter and prepared to greet Neelix.

“Captain! Commander! I am so glad to see you both! How are you enjoying your meals?” Neelix asked with his usual perpetual exuberance.

“Just fine, Neelix. Thank you for checking on us,” Kathryn replied magnanimously. Clearly she hoped that Neelix would get the hint and move on, but there was no such luck.

“Excellent, excellent! You know, I’ve been hoping to speak with you both about a small unofficial matter - Commander Chakotay in particular!” Neelix barrelled ahead, pulling out an empty chair and inviting himself to join their table.

A hopeful look flashed across Kathryn’s face - clearly she thought she might be able to escape quickly. But Chakotay’s foot placed firmly on top of hers under the table conveyed the message that if she abandoned him now, there would be trouble. Instead, she leaned onto the table, propped her chin up on her hands, and said innocently, “Oh I’m sure the Commander will be more than happy to help you out.”

Neelix remained completely oblivious to the silent battle going on between his commanding officers as he explained himself. “Well, I was planning the Christmas festivities for this year and then Naomi reminded me that there are a lot of different holidays this time of year - she and Ensign Wildman actually celebrate Hanukkah, did you know that? - and there are even a lot of different ways to celebrate Christmas! So this year, I want to have a holiday party that gives everyone a piece of home. I’m compiling a list of recipes and traditions and then I’ll pull them all together in one big celebration!” 

Kathryn tried to hide her surprise (not that the Talaxian would have noticed anyway), when she said “Neelix, that is actually a lovely idea.” 

Neelix puffed out his chest proudly, “Thank you, Captain! Now, I think I already know a lot about your traditions, since you were one of the people I first spoke with about Christmas…” Kathryn nodded her agreement. “Of course, if you do have any recipes you’d like to share, I would be happy to incorporate them!”

This time it was Kathryn’s turn to kick Chakotay under the table, to suppress his smirk when Neelix asked her for recipes. “I’ll give it some thought,” she replied calmly.

Neelix then turned his attention fully on Chakotay as he continued on like a freight train. “But Commander, I would imagine you have a lot of interesting traditions, having grown up on Trebus! Did you even celebrate Christmas? Or Hanukkah maybe?”

Chakotay smiled indulgently as he thought back to his own family’s holiday celebrations. “We did have a winter festival, loosely based on a combination of Christmas and our ancestors' Winter Solstice celebrations. You see, on Earth, the solstice lined up with Christmas on the calendar. Even though the same was not true on Trebus, the tradition stuck. Every single person in the community took part in the preparations - cooking, decorations, summoning spirit guides - and it took nearly a full day to have everything ready. Of course, it wasn’t all work and no play. The preparations were almost as much fun as the celebration itself!”

As usual, Kathryn found herself enthralled by Chakotay’s storytelling and despite her earlier escape plans, she was glad that he had made her stay. “So what was the celebration like?” she asked. 

There was a subtle look of longing in her eyes that made Chakotay want to reach across the table and cup her cheek and promise to take her to Trebus for Christmas when they got back home. But there were so many reasons why that wouldn’t - couldn’t - happen. So instead, he simply smiled back at her and continued on. 

“There were traditional dances and music, of course. Some people would wear masks to represent the different spirit guides and they would perform a dance to welcome the spirits to the celebration. After the dancing, they hung pinatas from the trees to represent the bad spirits and then the kids would beat them with sticks until candy came out.” This last part was said with a mischievous grin causing Kathryn to laugh softly.

“Oh! That sounds like fun! Perhaps we could get some piñatas for our celebration!” Neelix interjected, and then furrowed his brow. “Of course, the only child is Naomi… do you think she would still have fun with it by herself?” 

“I think maybe one of the less violent traditions from Chakotay’s people might be more appropriate,” Kathryn teased. This time it was Chakotay who chuckled softly to himself. 

“You might be right, Captain,” Neelix confirmed. “What about food? Any traditional dishes?”

Chakotay thought for a moment and then his eyes lit up like a child’s on, well, on Christmas!  “Tamales. Masa dough with all kinds of sweet and savory options and then wrapped in a banana leaf and steamed.”

“Let me guess, you always preferred the sweet ones?” Kathryn guessed.

“Chocolate,” Chakotay nodded, “mixed with almonds, plums, and chilis. It’s been years since I had one… “

“Well, you won’t have to wait much longer!” Neelix exclaimed. “I’m adding them to the menu. You’ll send me the recipe, won’t you? Oh I think I have a perfect substitute for plums. A tree that I have in the aeroponics bay that is just starting to sprout.” The Talaxian continued mumbling aloud to himself as he made his way back to the kitchen, so distracted and excited that he didn’t even bid his commanding officers goodbye. 

Chakotay watched him go with a stunned look on his face and Kathryn couldn’t blame him. They had both had plenty of experience with what Neelix considered ‘perfect substitutes’ to Alpha Quadrant delicacies, and they were rarely successful. 

Kathryn reached over and patted Chakotay’s hand consolingly. “Think of it this way: if it grows on a tree, at least we know it isn’t leola root.”

Chapter Text

“Neelix! Just the man I was looking for!” Tom exclaimed as he entered the mess hall with B’Elanna trailing a few steps behind and rolling her eyes.

A delighted Neelix looked up from the bowl he was stirring and called out, “Lieutenants! What can I do for you? I have some leftover pleeka rind casserole with your names on it…” 

“Uh, no thanks, Neelix, we already ate,” Tom interrupted hastily, “We’re actually here to talk to you about your holiday party.”

“Wonderful!” I’ve been meaning to talk to you about Klingon holiday traditions, B’Elanna.” 

“Oh, you don’t want to include any of those. Unless you think pain sticks sound fun?” the engineer deftly deflected Neelix’s attention back to Tom. 

“I suppose not…” Neelix admitted reluctantly. 

“I’ve got something way better anyway,” Tom reassured him. “What do you know about Festivus?” 

“Festivus?” Neelix perked back up. “I’ve never heard of it, but it does sound festive!”

“Oh, it is,” Tom leaned onto the counter conspiratorially as B’Elanna folded her arms and sat in a nearby chair to watch her boyfriend explain Festivus with the enthusiasm of a little boy. 

“It was first celebrated in the late 20th century on Earth -” 

“So, obviously, Tom is an expert,” B’Elanna supplied with a smirk. 

Tom ignored her and continued to explain about the anti-commercialization holiday that now fits nicely into Federation culture, now that replicators preclude the rampant consumerism of the time. (B’Elanna was pretty sure he was missing the point there, but she kept her mouth shut so as not to prolong this interaction.)

“It comes right before Christmas, so that everyone remembers what’s really important about the holiday season,” Tom concluded.

Neelix was spellbound by Tom’s explanation. “I must say, it sounds unlike any of the other other holidays I’ve been learning about. Quite fascinating. Is there a traditional dish I could add to the menu?”

“Food isn’t really a big part of Festivus tradition. It’s more focused on activities that don’t cost anything. You know, anti-commercial?” Tom said. 

“Hmph they only cost you your pride,” B’Elanna mumbled.

“Ignore her,” Tom reassured Neelix. He leaned closer to whisper, “Klingons hate fun holidays because theirs are all about pain and misery.” 

Neelix nodded seriously and whispered back, “Understood.” He then returned his voice to a normal volume and asked Tom “What are these activities?” 

Tom continued gleefully as B’Elanna sighed. “Ok, so there’s the airing of grievances,” (Neelix frowned) “and then feats of strength…” 

“Well that sounds promising! Weightlifting? Something like that?” Neelix asked hopefully.

“Not exactly… After the meal, everyone has to wrestle the head of the household - I guess that would be Captain Janeway in our case,” Tom said, feigning innocence.

“Aha… Well, uh, certainly something to think about, Lieutenants. I will see what I can do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really must get back to tonight’s dinner preparations or else the crew might have a few grievances with me!” Neelix laughed dryly at his own weak attempt at a joke. 

This Festivus didn’t sound like what he had in mind for his combined holiday celebration, but if it’s an important Earth holiday… well he did want to make everyone feel at home…

“We’ll let you get back to it,” B’Elanna agreed, leading Tom from the mess hall by his elbow.

“Thanks for hearing me out! Can’t wait to celebrate Festivus again!” Tom called over his shoulder as he was dragged through the door. 

Once in the corridor, B’Elanna turned to face Tom with a self-satisfied smile. “See? I told you he wouldn’t go for it.”

“I don’t know… he did say he’d give it some thought…” Tom said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“You’re an idiot,” B’Elanna concluded. With a shake of her head, she turned and walked away, leaving Tom smirking to himself outside of the mess hall, daydreaming about how Neelix might incorporate wrestling the captain into the holiday festivities.

Chapter Text

The morning briefing was just wrapping up when Captain Janeway turned her attention to her morale officer. “I believe that concludes all official business. Now, Neelix, how is the holiday party planning coming along?”

Neelix sat up a little straighter in his chair and tried not to appear flustered. He hadn’t been expecting to give a report today and there was still so much to do and only a few days left to do it all! “Right on schedule, Captain,” he declared. “With so many traditions to incorporate, it looks like the celebration will go for several days! Uh, several evenings, rather. We can’t have the whole ship at a stand still for a whole week, now can we?” he chuckled to himself.

Janeway looked mildly horrified when she interjected “A week, Neelix? That sounds a little… extreme, don’t you think?”

“Oh, no, Captain! A lot of the holidays last for several days! Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Las Posadas all last a week or more!” Neelix reassured her.

“Yes, I understand and people who celebrate those holidays are welcome to do so for their full duration. But let’s keep the official celebration to…” she glanced at Chakotay and Tuvok for confirmation, “... no longer than three days? Three evenings,” she ordered gently. 

“Er, ah, yes, Captain, I can make that work,” Neelix acquiesced. 

Janeway rose to her feet and called the meeting to a close, dismissing the senior staff. Neelix lingered, however, and he approached her once everyone else was gone.

“Was there something else, Neelix?” she asked curtly, though not unkindly. 

He fumbled for the right words. “Well, it’s just a small thing… barely worth mentioning really… only…”

“Spit it out, Neelix,” Janeway ordered.

“I’m concerned that we don’t have enough dilithium for me to prepare everything in only three days,” the Talaxian blurted out. “There are a lot of different types of food, and decorations, and I was planning to spread out my replicator use over a week so there would be time to recharge, but now I have to do it in less than half that time and–” 

The captain held up a hand to keep Neelix from babbling again. “Neelix, you have my permission to replicate as much as you need to. It’s been a rough few months; the crew deserves a good celebration. And besides, Seven thinks she has found a planet rich with dilithium about a week from our current position so we’ll be able to restock soon.”

“Oh! Thank you, Captain! If you’re sure… oh, that’s wonderful!” Neelix bubbled. 

“Of course, I’ll have B’Elanna keep an eye on the energy levels and if we are getting too low, you’ll have to stop immediately. Understood?” 

“Absolutely! Oh, Ensign Kim will be so happy that I can make his patjuk - there really isn’t a good substitute for the red beans, you know - and we’ll be able to have the Bajoran fireworks display on the holodeck, the talent show for Kwanzaa’s evening of creativity… Oh! And Lieutenant Paris’ Festivus pole! Thank you, Captain. You won’t regret it. This will be a holiday to remember!” Neelix exclaimed as he rushed out of the room.

Captain Janeway shook her head in amusement as the doors slid closed behind Neelix. His unbridled enthusiasm was both contagious and exhausting. She turned to pick up the small stack of PADDs on the table and stopped suddenly.

Did he say ‘Festivus pole’?

***

Neelix most certainly had said ‘Festivus pole.’ Further research into the holiday of Festivus had led him to an acceptable alternative to fighting the captain, and the newly replicated pole now stood proudly next to the Christmas tree. 

With Naomi’s help (and unlimited replicator access), Neelix had put together a holiday celebration for the ages. 

In addition to the tree and the pole, a Hanukkah menorah and a Kwanzaa kinara were prominently on display in the center of the mess hall, each fully lit with holographic candles that could last all night. There was even a Vulcan prayer candle, despite Tuvok’s insistence that it wasn’t necessary to include any Vulcan rituals as their holidays were usually celebrated in solitary meditation. 

Tables of food lined the room, representing all the different cultures and religions. Neelix was far too busy playing host and running between the mess hall and the holodeck  to explain the dishes in person as he usually would, so it had been Naomi’s idea to include labels explaining what the dish was and which tradition it belonged to. 

Thanks to the captain’s generosity with the replicator, Neelix was able to make both traditional and Delta Quadrant versions of many of the dishes. In most cases, the traditional dishes were more popular, but the surprise hit was Neelix’s Leola root latkes. Tom even went so far as to suggest that this be the primary preparation for Leola root going forward but Neelix insisted that they would be reserved for the holiday so that they remained special. 

The holodeck was very busy for the three days as well. There was a packed schedule of performances and activities, including traditional spirit dances of both the Trebus and Earth varieties, Klingon opera (performed by the Doctor and a troupe of holograms, of course. B’Elanna refused to have any part of it), a talent show to celebrate creative expression, and a nightly Bajoran fireworks display, just to name a few. 

During the daytime, the holodeck was transformed into a winter wonderland. Off-duty crew (and there were a lot, since the ship was operating with a skeleton crew for the holidays) could stop by at any time to build snowmen, go sledding, or sit by the fire with hot cocoa. Neelix even heard a rumor that Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay had spent some time strolling in the snow together hand in hand - but he found that harder to believe than the rumor that Lieutenants Paris and Torres had started a massive snowball fight between bridge officers and engineering.  

On the morning after the final evening of celebrating, Naomi found Neelix in the mess hall, sitting next to a half-packed box of ornaments. He had a sort of far away look on his face and, sure, enough, he jumped in surprise when Naomi tapped his shoulder. 

“Oh! Hello, Naomi!” Neelix exclaimed with a tired smile and just a bit less exuberance than usual. 

The perceptive child squinted at him, threw her arms around his neck, and asked “Neelix, are you ok?”

Neelix caught Naomi in his arms and hugged her for a moment before placing her back on the floor. “Oh yes, just a little post-holiday blues. Nothing to worry about,” he reassured her. He chuckled softly and added, “Who would have thought that I’d run out of energy before the replicators?”

“Oh! That’s what I came to tell you!” Naomi remembered suddenly. “It’s a Hanukkah miracle!”

Neelix looked at her quizzically so Naomi explained further. “The replicator shouldn’t have had enough energy to last the whole week - but it did! And Mom says we’ll even have enough to get us to that dilithium planet to restock!”

“That’s wonderful, Naomi, but what does that have to do with Hanukkah miracles?” Neelix wondered. 

“Neelix!” Naomi whined, starting to get annoyed. “It’s like how the oil was only supposed to last one day but it lasted eight!”

Neelix’s eyes grew wide with realization. “Do you know, I spent so much time planning the party, I never learned about any of the actual holidays!”

Naomi giggled, “Neelix! We’ll have to work on that for next year. Like, did you know that Bolians celebrate because…” 

Naomi continued to catalog all she had learned about holidays but Neelix wasn’t listening. His brain had shut down at the words ‘next year.’