Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I knew this day was coming, but seeing it all play out in front of my eyes still has me frozen in disbelief. No matter how hard she tried to keep the situation hidden from me, I already knew that Haruhi now had an 8 million yen debt. She could try to excuse staying late after school as extra studying in the library all she wanted, but shooing me home instead of inviting me along made it obvious. We were both scholarship students after all, both of us needed good grades to keep attending Ouran Academy.

But how did it get to the point where I had to watch my precious younger sister work as the host club’s dog? Haruhi must have lost her mind if she thinks I’d leave her to suffer this alone, even if I knew things would get better eventually. I already promised Dad I’d look after her, we both know how oblivious she can be sometimes. It’s no wonder she got stuck as an errand boy. No matter how much she’d try to argue that it was her own responsibility I can’t just stand aside without helping. That’s how I ended up witnessing a bunch of rich kids freaking out over normal instant coffee as if it were forbidden fruit.

"I'll go back and get something else. Excuse me for not buying you guys expensive coffee,” Haruhi sighed in sarcastic apology. Oh dear, she’s already exasperated by them and things are just getting started. You’d think the naive ignorance of Ouran’s elite students was overly exaggerated in the anime and manga, but you’d be sadly mistaken. Though I don’t believe a vast majority of them mean it maliciously, they really make it seem as if anyone in a lower tax bracket than them must be living in poverty.

"No, I'll keep it." Tamaki’s resolute statement makes the crowd of girls and fellow hosts gasp in shock, "I'm going to give it a try!" Their reactions make it seem as if ingesting something like ‘commoner’s coffee’ was a serious undertaking. "I will drink this coffee!" he exclaimed. What a brave man, taking one for the team and bravely venturing into such dangerous territory as instant coffee. Go ahead and clap all you want folks, this is surely a momentous occasion.

If I rolled my eyes any harder I’m sure they’d pop right out of my skull. While everyone was distracted by Tamaki’s theatrics, I silently snuck beside Haruhi. Though we may not be identical like the Hitachiin brothers, Haruhi and I were still fraternal twins. Due to the lack of funds for two overpriced Ouran Academy uniforms, we weren’t dressed the exact same, but our equally androgynous figures, shaggy brown hair and ugly matching glasses made it hard to tell who was who at first glance. The biggest and pretty much only noticeable difference were our eyes. Though Haruhi’s were soft and doe-eyed, I took more after our father’s sharp eyes. I’d been pretty content letting Haruhi have most of the spotlight throughout our lives, calmly observing from the sidelines. Maybe that was why I was so surprised when Tamaki turned and addressed me directly, "Alright Haruhi, get over here and make me some of this commoners' coffee."

“Um… Senpai, I’m not Haruhi.” I got out in a confused daze. Pointing slightly to my right, “Haruhi is right here.”

The frozen shock on the faces of everyone nearby was kind of hilarious, I almost wish I had a camera. Tamaki himself seems to have turned into stone. Oops, couldn’t have our male lead petrified forever. “Sorry for the late introduction, Senpai, I’ve been heading straight home after school until recently. My name is Fuyuki Fujioka, nice to meet you,” I greeted with a slight bow. Whether it’s actually nice to meet him is up for debate, I can almost hear Haruhi’s inner monologue of ‘damn rich people’.

‘Wh-wha- How-?!” My polite greeting seems to have helped shake off Tamaki’s petrifying shock, as he gracefully extends his own after only a second of confused stuttering. “I didn’t realize our dear piglet was hiding a brother! And one nearly identical as well. How am I just hearing about this now?” His questioning gaze slides over to the Hitachiin twins’ still frozen forms, dramatically pointing at them in accusation. “How the hell could you keep something so shocking from me?! Haruhi is in your class!”

“W-we didn’t know, boss, we swear!” The twins exclaim in unison, hands held defensively, “Haruhi may be in our class, but we’ve never really paid much attention to him before he became the host club’s dog, and even then we didn’t notice the other scholarship student was his brother!”

“ Other scholarship student? I didn’t even realize there was more than one!” 

“How surprising, I always thought it was just one! I guess them having the same last name and appearance it was hard to notice two of them.”

The barely hidden whispering from the crowd of girls surrounding us was a little disheartening. I knew I kept a bit in Haruhi’s shadow this whole time, especially keeping away from her forcible ‘employment’ at the host club until now, but not even noticing there were two scholarship students at Ouran? And even in the same class as another pair of twins? Ouch. It should be impossible for an entire student population to be so dense.

“Um, yeah, I’ve been here the whole time. I’m in the same class as Haruhi, I’m surprised no one has noticed. The chairman made an exception for the two of us when we both aced the scholarship exam, even though we’re only fraternal twins he felt it would be unfair to give an offer to one of us and not the other,” I explained with a slight deadpan expression and an arched brow. Like seriously, you’d think with their twin complex at least the Hitachiins would realize the importance of twins -even fraternal- being recognized as two separate people.

“Yeah, guys, I thought you two already knew Fuyuki, considering we’re all in the same class. How could a pair of identical twins not notice there were two of us?” Haruhi’s blunt statement seems to have hit things on the head, as Hikaru and Kaoru both looked away with slightly guilty expressions.

Uh oh, the mood seems to have unintentionally drifted into an awkward direction. Time to step in, “Well, don’t let me interrupt anything, Senpai,” I addressed Tamaki directly now. “I just wanted to check in on Haruhi and maybe have a chat with Kyouya-senpai, if that’s okay with you? I know Haruhi would probably try to keep doing everything on her own, but I’d like to help work off her debt.”

“Wait, Fuyu-”

“Shush, Haru-chan, the big kids are talking,” I silence her with a hand over her mouth. “There’s no point in trying to talk me out of this, I already let you ‘trick’ me into going home early so you could come to the host club after class.”

“What a wonderful brotherly bond!” The air around Tamaki seemed to sparkle as roses bloomed around his joyous expression. “How could I deny such a stunning display of commoners coming together to lend a helping hand? Go ahead and talk with Kyouya to sort out the details, new piglet,” as he shooed me off to the side he turned to Haruhi, “Alright then Haruhi, go ahead and make me some of this commoners' coffee.”

With the mood sufficiently back on track, I shuffled off to the side with Kyouya. His knowing smirk was a bit ominous, even with future knowledge. Of course he knew everything from the beginning, none of this was really a surprise to him. He must’ve really liked seeing the other hosts squirm, we were almost kindred spirits at that moment. Too bad he was a stingy, rich bastard holding an 8 million yen debt over my younger sister’s head.

“So, you wanted to speak with me?” Wow, his polite expression may fool everyone else, but I could tell he was super smug about this whole situation. Two unpaid workers for the host club for the ‘price’ of one? What a steal! “I heard you wanted to volunteer to help pay off Haruhi’s debt. I’m sure I can speak for all the hosts that we’d be glad to welcome a new worker.”

While Kyouya’s widening smile seemed like a bad omen, I could do nothing but accept his terms. Thank fuck we wouldn’t be stuck as just errand boys for much longer.

Chapter Text

After the theatrics of the instant coffee tasting and my ominous conversation with Kyouya, I took a moment to look over the rest of the room. I watched as Haruhi began serving drinks to the hosts and their tables full of guests. The cringe worthy display Hikaru and Kaoru were putting on kinda grossed me out, especially after having grown up with a fraternal twin in this life. I couldn’t really imagine acting like that with Haruhi, no matter how much it might reduce her debt. I think we’ll let the Hitachiins keep the ‘brotherly love’ role…

“Sorry, we’re running late,” Honey yawned cutely from Mori’s back. The group of girls waiting patiently at their table greeted them excitedly. “I'm sorry. I was waiting for Takashi to finish his kendo meeting and I fell asleep. Mm, and I'm still not completely awake."

The squealing brought by Honey and Mori’s entrance pulled my gaze. “Huh, Honey-senpai is pretty adorable for a third year,” I mumbled to myself as Kyouya and I made our way over to a nearby Haruhi. "Is that boy really a third year student?" she questioned.

"Honey-senpai may seem young and childish, but he is a prodigy." Kyouya commented as he came to a stop beside her, continuing at her confused glance, “And then Mori-senpai's allure is his strong and silent disposition." 

“Hmm. It’s got something to do with their contrasting image and personalities, right? Like when you see a big dog cuddling with a kitten.” I said as I raised my fingers to my chin in a questioning look. “I can sorta see it, I think?”

“You’d be correct, Mr. Fujioka.” He agreed, though we were quickly interrupted by Hurricane Honey as he rushed over to jump on Haruhi, causing the two to spin and almost knock me to the floor if I hadn’t stepped aside.

"Hey Haru-chan, do you want to go have some cake with me?" The aura of cutesy flowers surrounding his puppy dog eyes would have made anyone cave. Well, if it weren’t for the fact that he scrambled poor Haruhi’s brain into an omelet with all that spinning. I hope she doesn’t fall over from Honey induced vertigo. "Thanks, but I don't really like cake."

"Then how would you like to hold my bunny Usa-chan?" He asked with a cute pose.

"I'm not into bunnies." Honey’s teary pout at her blunt response could sway anyone with even the slightest weakness for cute things, even Haruhi. “Are you saying you don't like Usa-chan?" Her gaze is drawn down to the presented bunny, holding its button eyed stare until she folded. "I guess he is kinda cute, huh?"

I could almost hear the sound of a lightbulb turning on at Honey’s look of realization. He then skipped away to his guests, only turning to call back, "Take good care of him, okay?"

"You'll notice that our club utilizes each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests,” Kyouya began to monologue. I know this is crucial host club lore he’s dropping here, but I’m starting to think this guy just likes the sound of his own voice… “Just so you know, Tamaki is number one around here. He's the king. His request rate is 70%."

"What's this world coming to?"

"And in order for you to pay off your 8 million yen debt with us, the two of you will act as the Ouran Host Club's dogs until you graduate.” He spoke with a smirk before turning to us with a false polite smile. “I'm sorry, I meant our errand boys. You can try to run away if you want to Haruhi, Fuyuki, but just so you know, my family employs a private police force of 100 officers. By the way, do either of you have a passport?"

“Huh?" Haruhi’s utterly shocked face was so hilarious I had to hide a huff of laughter in my sleeve. Stop, you’re stuck in this situation too! Ugh living in a goofy early 2000’s shoujo is killing me. I can’t even watch stuff like this through a screen without giggling and kicking my feet like a crazy person, so how am I supposed to survive the host club’s future hijinks?!

"It's not often that God creates a perfect person like moi, beautiful both inside and out." I was so distracted that I missed Tamaki coming over to tease Haruhi. By the time I tuned back in he had already started a long soliloquy about how amazing he is. Are all rich people so dense and full of themselves or is it just a Tamaki thing? At least he’s a genuinely good guy beneath all the airheadedness. "I understand how you feel since not everyone is blessed as I am, but you must console yourself. Otherwise how would you go on living?”

I wish I could actually hear Haruhi’s inner thoughts right now, I’m sure they’re as hilarious as what I remember from the anime. Her blunt comments always make me crack up, especially when I know she’s not even trying to be funny. Haruhi would definitely be the straight man in any comedy duo, the unwitting Abbott to my Costello.

“Huh, I got it!” Harhui’s realization brought me out of my thoughts and back to reality. “Obnoxious!" Her words broke Tamaki’s princely atmosphere and sent him wilting into a pit of shocked despair. Poor guy, I’d almost feel bad if his reaction wasn’t so funny.

“Pfft-! Haruhi, that's cold!” I couldn’t help but snicker out as I leaned against her for support as I laughed. “Look, you totally broke him.”

"Uh, I'm sorry Tamaki-senpai." She calmly apologized while elbowing me in the side. Hikaru and Kaoru, lured by the opportunity to cause mischief and mercilessly tease their boss, came and used our heads as arm rests. "I'm sorry senpai, but your lesson did strike a small chord with me."

And in an unsurprisingly quick switch back to his usual pace, roses and all, Tamaki swirled around to strike a pose.  "Really, it did? Let me teach you more, my friend."

"Well, he got over that quick."

“Yeah, it’s like he can turn back on with the flick of a switch,” I agreed.

"Boss?" Kaoru questioned from behind me, reminding me of my position as an unwilling arm rest. "You can teach them all the basics of hosting..."

"But they aren’t going to get very far with the ladies if they don't look the part you know. They aren’t exactly host club material, but..." Hikaru continued, walking in front of Haruhi and reaching for her glasses. "Maybe if we took off their glasses it'll help."

"Hey, I need those! I used to have contacts but I lost them on the first day of school." Haruhi waved her hands to reach out for her stolen frames. It didn’t help that in their shock at seeing her face Kaoru turned to take mine as well.

“Wait a second, I can’t see for shit either! I don’t even use contacts in the first place, I like my glasses.” I whined in protest, knowing I’d probably have to get used to contacts for the foreseeable future if this went where I thought it was. I had thought I might be able to escape working as an actual host alongside Haruhi if I joined after the initial introduction, but it seems like it was a hopeless endeavor in the first place. I’ll probably get demoted back down to errand boy as soon as I fumble with my first guests. I’m absolutely no good with social interaction, let alone giving or receiving even semi-romantic attention, I’m easily embarrassed and terrible at hiding when I get flustered.

"Got it!" Tamaki’s snap brings me out of my melancholy thoughts, the twins dragging a confused Haruhi and I away to the dressing room as he continues giving out orders. We’re quickly shoved behind a curtain with spare uniforms practically shoved on us until Haruhi gets fed up and throws the pair out, the sound of two lightbulbs turning on as they stumble out. “Okay fine, we'll change, but you two have to get out!"

“Well, that sure was something. And you’ve been putting up with these guys alone this whole time?” As soon as the more troublesome set of twins are gone, I let out a weary sigh. Haruhi gives me an exasperated look as she sets her uniform on a hanger and begins to change. “I know you’re upset I butted in, but I already let you get away with trying to hide being an errand boy. Did you really think your big sis wouldn’t notice?” I asked with a raised brow as I began to change into my own uniform.

“I wasn’t really trying to hide anything, exactly, Fuyu-nee. I just didn’t want to worry you,” she said with a pout. Oh look at that face, I won’t be able to pretend to be mad for long. Ah, I give up. “It was my mistake that caused all this, I didn’t want to end up dragging you into it, especially after I realized how crazy these stupid rich people are.”

“Hmmm,” I let out a considering hum, pulling on my blazer and straightening my tie. My lips turned up at the corner and I let out a small chuckle and shot her an amused look, “I don’t mind helping you out, Haru, all you need to do is ask. What else are older siblings for?”

We exchanged a fond look and a laugh before turning back to the dressing room curtain, pulling it back to reveal the waiting hosts. The two of us cleaned up rather nicely; hair cut and styled neatly, glasses gone and replaced by contacts, and a set of tidy new uniforms. My own hair was a bit longer than Haruhi’s, as I wanted to at least keep some length, and though I doubt I’ll keep it styled so nicely on a daily basis, I couldn’t deny I looked a bit handsome.

The gathered hosts gasped at our reveal, giving out -some a bit backhanded- compliments on our changed appearances. Tamaki was almost crying out with joy at how adorable Haruhi was, but I couldn’t really blame him. Ever since some kid put gum in her hair and she impulsively cut it all off she hasn’t been putting a lot of effort into styling it. Though I can’t really place all the blame on her shoulders, I kind of ended up following her example when the same kid came back around and got me too. What a world of difference just cleaning up can do.

"If we had known that's how you two really look..." Hikaru began in an amused tone, Kaoru following up, "We would've helped you out sooner."

“Who knows? Maybe they'll draw in some customers." Kyouya cut in with a raised brow. Tamaki quickly cut in, "You know, that's just what I was thinking. Our errand boys are moving up the ranks. Starting today, you are official members of the Host Club! I will personally train you two to be first-rate hosts. If you can each get 100 customers to request your services, we will completely forget about Haruhi’s 8 million yen debt."

"A host?" Haruhi asked with a baffled expression, turning to give me a pleading look. I don’t know what she expected me to do about his crazy plan, but I was already in this with her. I tried to give her a somewhat reassuring look, but she didn’t seem very comforted, only a bit resigned. “Don’t worry, Haruhi, I’m sure it won’t be too bad. I’ll be right here with you , okay?”

Chapter Text

I know I told Haruhi being a host wouldn’t be too bad, but I take it all back. This seriously sucks. Because we weren’t really a package deal like the Hitachiins, Haruhi and I had separate tables with our own customers. I vaguely recognized the three girls sitting with Haruhi from the anime, one of them is even our class’s vice president. Since she’s a natural at this she seems to be doing fine. If only I could say the same about myself… 

My attention focused back on my guests, Touka Aikawa and Amaya Kobayashi, two girls from Class 1-B. After initial introductions and quickly serving them tea and cake, I remember how bad I am at one-on-one social interaction. Seems social anxiety stays in every life, what a bummer. But I’ve gotta focus on my guests! If I fall behind on my own quota Haruhi may be stuck with a huge debt forever.

“So you’re the older brother, right, Fuyuki? It’s amazing that Class A has two sets of twins!”

“Yeah, I didn’t even know until you two joined the host club! I’m surprised you two aren’t paired together like Hikaru and Kaoru.”

“Haruhi and I are a bit too independent and stubborn to always work together,” I said with an awkward laugh, “I don’t want to rely on my little brother too much, y’know? We grew up taking care of each other after Mom passed so we’re still super close, of course. He does get super pouty if I hover too much, but it’s an older brother’s job to look out for their younger sibling.” Ah, wait, am I talking about Haruhi too much? I need to charm them in my own way, not ramble on about my sister, “Sorry if I seem a bit distracted, it’s just… I’m not used to getting attention from such beautiful ladies.”

My bashful expression seems to have touched them as their faces became flushed. Ah, they liked that? Maybe I could be the shy type…? I do tend to become easily flustered, especially compared to Haruhi’s usual blunt personality. It could be a nice contrast due to my sharper features, you’d expect our personalities to be swapped based on appearances. 

“Um, Fuyuki.. Would it be alright if we request you again?” Miss Aikawa asked after sharing a demure look with Miss Kobayashi. “We had a lot of fun talking with you.”

“Of course, ladies! I’d be glad to have your company,” I replied with a charming smile and rose dusted cheeks, surrounded by a sparkly aura of green roses.

"Why are they so popular?" Tamaki complained with a pout from his seat on the couch. 

"Haruhi’s a natural, and Fuyuki seems to have figured out his own technique rather quickly." Kyouya commented with a sly smirk, as the nearby Hitachiin twins continued in sync, "No training needed."

"Have you forgotten about me?" asked Miss Ayanokoji beside Tamaki, calmly sipping a cup of tea. Though her expression was calm and composed she seemed tired of his lack of attention. 

"Oh, no. Sorry Princess, I'm just a little concerned about our newest hosts." Tamaki immediately turned back to her with his usual princely charm to offer his apologies.

"Well that's obvious, Tamaki. You sure have been keeping an eye on him."

"Of course. I have to, I am training him to be a gentleman like me." With a quick snap of his fingers, Tamaki beckoned the two of us over, "Haruhi, Fuyuki! Come here for a minute."

"What's up?" “‘Sup?” Haruhi and I greeted together. I felt bad having to abandon my guests at his whim, but I’d at least already wrapped up our conversation before leaving.

"I'd like you to meet someone. This is my regular guest, Princess Ayanokoji," he introduced the girl sitting beside him with a gesture. I recognized her immediately, someone who would bully Haruhi out of jealousy before eventually being banned from the host club. I’d need to stay on my toes from now on until things got resolved. The bullying wasn’t anything outright violent, but I’d rather not put Haruhi through unnecessary stress. Maybe I could use my foreknowledge to gather evidence for Kyouya, though I knew he’d probably have his own plans regardless.

“Hello Miss Ayanokoji, pleased to meet you,” I greeted politely. No reason to act hostile when she hasn’t done anything yet, not to mention I’m still a host and she’s one of Tamaki’s regulars.

"Miss, it's a pleasure to meet you." Haruhi’s charming greeting instantly distracted Tamaki as he picked her up and spun her around, loudly praising her adorableness. He was oblivious to Miss Ayanokoji awkwardly calling out to him, as well as Haruhi’s muffled protests against his manhandling. 

“Argh! Fuyu, help me out here!” Haruhi called out, but I was too busy laughing to come to her aid. When she realized I wasn’t going to save her she turned to the next best option, "Mori-senpai! Help me!"

As if acting on instinct, Mori quickly swept in to lift her out of Tamaki’s arms. There was another sound of a lightbulb flickering on as Mori set Haruhi down. I could see Miss Ayanokoji’s sullen expression in the corner of my eye, she didn’t seem pleased at the commotion centered on my sister. It’s about time, then. I’ll start keeping an eye on our belongings, maybe bring a cheap disposable camera to school to catch her vandalism.

-

Over the next few days Haruhi ‘coincidentally’ suffered various accidents involving missing textbooks and assignments, cuts from blades snuck between pages and tucked into her jacket collar. Anytime her belongings were left unattended they were mysteriously tampered with by the time we came back. 

I ended up lagging behind Haruhi most of the day in order to catch Miss Ayanokoji in the act. I did my best to take out anything that could cause Haruhi physical harm before she touched it, but still missed some. I did my best to sneakily take pictures of Miss Ayanakoji vandalizing Haruhi’s belongings, especially when it was something obviously dangerous like a blade between the pages of a textbook. I would have to hand these over to Kyouya-senpai as soon as possible. 

-

Later that afternoon, when Haruhi’s entire bag went missing, I knew it was time for this opening arc to come to an end, the real story was about to start. 

“Hey, what happened to my bag?” The two of us had been fruitlessly searching for at least twenty minutes, we were definitely late now. Good thing I have all the evidence I’ve collected so far already put together for Kyoya-senpai. I’ll have to quickly get back to the club room while Haruhi and Tamaki have their little moment.

“Uh.. I think it’s in the pond out there.” I point out the nearby window towards one of the ponds in the courtyard. 

“Ugh, are you kidding me?” She let out a frustrated sigh, “How did that happen? I didn't think there were bullies at this school.”

 “I guess they wouldn’t try to bully each other because they’re all too rich and well connected to try and mess with, but we’re easy pickings because we’re dirt poor compared to them. There’s no way for us to really defend ourselves since we’re easy targets,” I explained. Though there was really no excuse for bullying, period. “Let’s go get your stuff so we can try to dry it out. Not to mention your wallet, you had the grocery money today.”

“Haa.. You’re right, neesan.” As we hurried down the hall we pass the culprit herself, Miss Ayanokoji. Haruhi slowed to a stop, looking back as she spoke.

"Oh! It's you again. I bet you love having Tamaki making you over and fawning over you. It's useless though, you're always going to be a second-class citizen."

Haruhi and I shared a quick knowing look as she walked away. We both knew exactly who was responsible for her recent misfortune and ‘misplaced’ belongings, it was obvious from her attitude. I guess she didn’t feel the need to try and hide it too well, there was no need to put on an act for commoners like us.

Watching Haruhi be subjected to Miss Ayanokoji’s bullying as nothing but a bystander who occasionally ran interference was probably one of the greatest challenges of this life so far. I had no way to outright defend her, physically or otherwise, due to our status as commoners at a school for the elite. I felt like a failure of an older sister. I know violence isn't the answer, especially not in this life, but I just wanted to punch that prissy, stuck up bitch right in her smug face. 

I know this is a 2000s shoujo romcom, but wasn’t she taking this a bit far? It seemed different from the anime. Phew, maybe I should calm down before I get too worked up and do something I regret. I’m supposed to be a gentleman after all.

-

As Haruhi had what was probably a very touching moment wading in the pond with Tamaki, I was busy rushing to the club room. Most of the boys were already occupied with their customers, the host club in full swing despite my late arrival. Kyouya-senpai was already making his way towards me, likely to scold my tardiness and try to increase Haruhi’s debt.

“Haruhi’s running a bit behind, but before you start I wanted to speak with you about Miss Ayanokoji,” I preemptively interrupted him before he could even open his mouth, pulling out a rather thick envelope full of pictures. “She has been relentlessly bullying Haruhi for the past week. Stealing or ruining her belongings, even putting a blade between the pages of her textbook. I have no doubt you already at least suspected something was going on, but I can’t just stand by while this is happening. I even have proof, I got these developed from pictures I took with a disposable camera.” 

Kyouya carefully took the envelope with a raised brow. I could tell just from his expression that he’s definitely known this whole time, Mr. All-Seeing Eye that he is. He likely even had his own evidence gathered by his family’s private police force. It was well hidden by a casual mask of calm, but I could tell he was a bit amused by the situation.

“Well, Mr.Fujioka, I’m sorry to hear that you two were caught up in such a predicament. I’m sure I can figure something out to resolve this situation,” he said with a face made for customer service. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I wouldn’t want to tarnish our club’s precious reputation.”

“Hmm, you do that,” was my skeptical reply. Not that I didn’t believe he’d take care of it, but that I know it’s purely out of his own interest at this point. 

-

In an unsurprising turn of events, Miss Ayanokoji requested Haruhi to be her exclusive host for the afternoon. Her intimidation tactics were obvious to those in the know about her harassment of Haruhi, but she was good at playing a coy maiden to unknowing bystanders.

"No, Haruhi! Leave me alone! Somebody help, he just attacked me!" I was pulled from my musing by Miss Ayanokiji’s exaggerated screams. Haruhi hovered over her next to the overturned table in shock. "Somebody do something! Teach this commoner a lesson!"

Quicker than a flash the twins were there pouring two pitchers of water on the two, completely soaking them. Miss Ayanokoji was clearly frustrated, as she got up from the floor with Tamaki’s help. "Why did you do that? Do something, Tamaki! Haruhi just assaulted me."

"I'm disappointed in you. You threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?" He started in a gentle tone. Despite his distrust he was a gentleman, he clearly wasn’t going to let her just get away with this.

"You don't know that. Do you have any proof that I did?"

“Actually, we do.” Kyouya said as he spread a collection of photographs in his hands. Most of them were ones I gave him not too long ago, but there were also quite a few of his own that he must’ve gotten on his own. What a reliable guy… if kind of scary that he has access to such resources.

"You know, you're a beautiful girl, but you aren't classy enough to be our guest, dear. If there's one thing I know, Haruhi is not that kind of a man." At his firm statement the other hosts began giving their own disapproving comments.

"But why, Tamaki? You idiot!" Miss Ayanokoji cried as she quickly ran from the club room. It seems the first chapter of our journey with the host club is finally coming to an end.

"Hmmm... Now how am I going to punish you? Because it is your fault after all,” Tamaki pondered aloud with a hum. “Your quota is now 1000!" 

"Huh? 1000?" Haruhi sat dumbfounded in a puddle on the floor. Poor thing, she has no idea what she’s in for. But then again, neither does Tamaki-senpai.

"Come on. I’ve got high expectations for you, my little rookie." Tamaki finished with a wink, helping pull her off the floor. Kyouya came and passed over a bag as soon as she was on her feet. "This is the only spare uniform we have. Sorry, but it's better than a wet one, right?"

"Thanks a lot you guys. I'm gonna go change."

-

"Haruhi, here you go. I brought you some towels."

Haruhi turned with a gasp, quickly covering herself with her half open shirt. Thankfully she has a camisole underneath her uniform, especially since there was little to no warning when Tamaki opened the curtain. There was a distant sound of a light bulb flickering on, lighting up the kanji for ‘woman’.

"Haruhi."

"Yeah?"

"So, you're a girl?"

"Biologically speaking, yeah." Haruhi came out of the changing room in an Ouran girl’s uniform to Tamaki-senpai’s shocked screams. "Listen Senpai, I don't really care whether you guys recognize me as a boy or a girl. In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than for what sex they are."

“Though despite the fact you didn’t know Haruhi was a girl, it sure was bold of you to just waltz into an occupied changing room.” As the gathered hosts made their own comments on the not so surprising reveal, I decided to make my presence known. A cold smile made its way onto my face, an aura of a protective older sibling laying heavy in the air, “Are you some kinda mannerless perv? I thought you were supposed to be a gentleman, Senpai”

Tamaki-senpai began sputtering a series of denials, face growing increasingly red. I know he’s genuinely just naive and not really a creep, but I want to yank his chain a little bit in revenge for peeking on my little sister, even if she was still mostly dressed. 

"Uh, you know, I have to say Senpai, I thought you were pretty cool earlier," Haruhi complimented to break the sudden tension in the air. Only for poor Tamaki-senpai to become a blushing, stuttering mess. What a naive guy…

"Now, I could be wrong but I think we may be witnessing the beginnings of love here,” Kyouya-senpai’s smug voice commented beside me. I could only respond in kind with a chuckle, “A real romantic comedy, huh.”

"Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad." Turning away from the gathered group of hosts, Haruhi pondered to herself, "I wonder how I can pull it off. Ah, I've got it. I'll just call everyone ‘dude’ and ‘bro’ now!"