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How (Not) to Make Two Idiots Finally Kiss

Summary:

A love potion is made to try to help her friend finally confess her crush. By mistake, the wrong person is infected with a strong case of L-O-V-E. Shenanigans ensue.

 

*This Valentine's Day Special is not a canon part of the My Brother's a Jinchuriki story but it is supposed to be fun and involve the main cast of MBAJ! I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter Text

Kotetsu walked through the village with his hands in his pockets. For the most part, he ignored the fuss and the buzz around him, rolling his eyes at the nagging sales folk at the stalls and shops he passed. It seemed like every shop suddenly sold either chocolates, stuffed animals, or flowers, and, quite frankly, he was very much over it. The last Valentine's Day he celebrated was when he was a child still at the Ninja Academy. His gesture of affection for his crush had been, for lack of a better word, crushed. After a humiliating rejection on the playground, he had taken to avoiding the holiday entirely, choosing instead to spend the day alone. Some years, Izumo would spend the day with him as they both enjoyed their lives as bachelors. Other years, he regarded Izumo as a dirty traitor. This was because Izumo was an unexpected lady-killer, and, while Kotetsu could understand why women found his best friend attractive- he still couldn't understand how Izumo had better luck in love than himself.

He held up his hand to politely reject the advances of a woman selling Valentine's gift baskets and quickened his pace.

"Valentine's Day is such a pain in the ass." He sighed and moved to walk on the other side of the street to avoid another vendor. "It's just a day for lucky guys to rub their luck in poor sucker's faces, and for rude women to scam a guy out of a free dinner and then never talk to him again."

He moved to avoid another vendor and lost his balance, staggering and bumping into an older woman.

"Oh, sorry. Are you alright, ma'am?"

"Your mind is clouded with thoughts of romance." She raised her brow and turned to look up at him with a faint smile playing on her lips. 

"W-Wha?!" Kotetsu laughed and rubbed his head. "No, sorry, you've got it wrong. I'm not really a fan of Valentine's."

"Or so you tell yourself." She took his hand and traced her finger over his palm, and he jolted slightly and suppressed a laugh.

"H-Hey! What are you doing?"

"Come with me. Baabaa will give you a reading for free." She waved her bony hand and he blinked.

"...Reading?"

"Baabaa is a gifted fortune teller, of course." The woman patted her tightly curled hair. "Baabaa's services are highly sought out in many countries, but Baabaa shall read you for free because you are so pitiable."

"Oh, thanks, but- hey!" He coughed into his hand and his cheeks flushed. "P-Pitiable?!"

"You come with Baabaa now."

"Uh... do I get a choice?"

She raised a thinly drawn eyebrow at him, and he cleared his throat.

"O-Of course not." He sighed and slouched slightly. "A-Alright. I'll follow."

He followed her down a street that opened up to a field. Normally empty and used by children for games, it was busy and full of workers setting up for the Valentine's festival. The old woman waved for him again, and he followed her into a brightly-colored tent.

Kotetsu coughed as the pungent scent of incense hit him suddenly as he entered. She made him sit across from her at a table with a glass ball between them.

"Baabaa will begin now."

"I-I should tell you that I don't really believe in fortune telling."

She raised her brow again. "Baabaa hears this often. It is no matter. Now, place your hands around the crystal."

"Oh uh... alright." He did as she directed and then blinked. "...What now?"

"Now, you be quiet, and Baabaa will work."

She closed her eyes and placed her hands over his, and his eyes widened as the crystal began to change. It grew cloudy and she hummed to herself.

"Your apprehensiveness is rooted in insecurity." She finally said after a long pause. "A painful memory that has lingered."

"How generic." He coughed. "...I... guess so?"

"Quiet. Baabaa speaks."

"Right." He looked down at the crystal ball and she hummed to herself again.

"However, there is a glimmer that remains in you. The smallest of sparks on the surface, but Baabaa now sees that it is brighter than even you understand."

"And... what exactly does that mean?"

She cracked open her eyes to look up at him. "Your heart is much like a dormant volcano to you, yes?"

"Well, I'm not so sure about that imagery, but-"

"Within that dormant volcano lies a pit of hot lava, biding its time before it may erupt. Over the years there have been moments when you have lowered your guard, allowing cracks to form and small amounts of lava to escape, though it is interrupted each time. Yes?"

"There's really not anyone I have that I'm close to romantically."

"To lie to Baabaa- happens often. To lie to yourself- even moreso."

"W-Wait a second... Lying to myself?" Kotetsu sighed and shook his head. "Look, if there was someone, it wouldn't work out really anyway."

"Three times."

"Pardon me?"

"You will encounter this person three times before sunset tomorrow."

His eyes lit slightly. "You mean I'll actually have a date tomorrow?"

"You will spend the day alone, yet not alone."

"...Oh." His expression fell and he made a face. "I knew it was too good to be true."

"However, when you are in darkness, there will be a hand in yours."

"H-Huh?" He chuckled and tilted his head. "Sorry, but... what exactly does that mean?"

"It means that Baabaa is finished." She moved her hands to her lap and the crystal became clear once more. "And that you may go."

"T-That's it?!" He stood. "Aren't you going to commune with spirits or have me draw cards?"

"Baabaa is not a fraud or a medium, boy." She shook her head and pointed a bony finger at a glass jar. "But, do take a treat with you."

"Oh. Uh... thanks, but I'm not a fan of hard candies."

"Take two of the red-and-yellow ones."

"A-Alright. If you insist." Kotetsu stuffed the candies into his pocket and looked back at the woman. "Is that it?"

"Baabaa wishes you a nice day."

"Same to you." He scratched his cheek. "Thanks for the reading... I guess?"

"No thanks to Baabaa yet." She waved him away. "Go now."

"What a weird lady." Kotetsu muttered to himself after he had walked a distance away from the tent, and put his hand into his pocket. He felt the candies there and frowned slightly. "I don't even recognize these candies at all. They must be foreign, I guess."

He turned a corner and walked directly into Kiri as she stepped out of a shop, and his eyes widened. "K-Kiri?!"

"Hey, watch it- oh it's just you." She put her hand on her hip and stuck out her tongue. "What are you doing here? Looking for a special Valentine's outfit? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she's been booked up for custom orders for months now."

"Valentine's outfit?" He repeated, and then looked at the store's sign. "'Sew Cute'?" He held up a hand and shook his head. "No, I'm not here to shop. But, uh..." He cleared his throat and looked over her again. "You're dressed really... nicely. Do you have a date for tomorrow, then?"

"Oh this?" She grinned and spun in a circle, admiring the flaming red cocktail dress. "I'm going to binge-watch my favorite old horror flicks while eating ice cream with myself."

He furrowed his brows and pointed at her. "You're going to wear a cocktail gown on a date with yourself on Valentine's Day?"

"Damn right I am." She flicked his nose. "Don't judge."

"That's not the weirdest thing I've heard all day, at least." He muttered and let out a breath.

"So, what are your plans for Valentine's?" Kiri crossed her arms

"I guess we'll both be alone. Izumo's betrayed me again and he says that he's already got plans."

"Uh uh, I won't be alone." Kiri shook her head. "I've got plans to soak in the bath with Natsumi for a while."

"Wait, Natsumi's got no date, either?"

"Shocking, right?" Kiri chuckled. "Though I guess it's hard to go on a date with someone you like if they live in a completely different country."

"What about Sena? You two are always together."

Kiri groaned and rolled her eyes. "I have no idea what's gotten into her lately. She's been keeping to herself and says she has plans. She insists that she doesn't have a date and that she's just busy researching herbs, but I don't know if I really buy that or not."

"That's rough." 

"You're telling me." Kiri shrugged. "But, oh well. If she wants some time to herself, I can respect that."

Kotetsu's eyes widened suddenly and he grabbed her wrist, then pulled her into the shop quickly.

"H-Hey, what are you-?!"

"Shh!" He clamped a hand over her mouth, then glanced out of the wide front window cautiously. Her gaze followed his, and her own eyes widened as they watched Sena and Izumo walk by together, talking without hardly stopping to speak. Once they had passed, Kotetsu lowered his hand and Kiri scoffed but smirked faintly.

"That deceptive little... so that's why she's been 'busy.'"

Kotetsu blinked repeatedly, then screwed up his face. "I-Izumo and Sena are... together?!"