Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sam and Bucky returned to their home after an exhausting day of work. They had found a house in Delacroix where Sam's family lived, and Bucky felt comfortable and accepted, so they thought it was most convenient. They had been living together for two months now.

Initially, they had been a bit concerned about how living together would be, but surprisingly, sharing their space had been comfortable, and they had to admit that they liked it, maybe even too much. Moreover, it made it easier for them to go on missions together, and Sam could be close to his family while maintaining his own space. Not to mention, it was much more economical to live in the same house than in separate ones.

"Let's hope the bad guys give us a break so we can take down the Christmas decorations," Sam commented, tired, as he dropped onto the sofa. Bucky's expression made his realize that there was something off about that idea for him.

"What's wrong, Buck?"

"It's nothing," Bucky replied, avoiding Sam's gaze.

"Come on, man, tell me. Remember we talked about how communication is important?"

"I like the lights."

"You like the lights?" Sam asked, a bit confused.

"Yeah, they're beautiful and bring warmth, joy. They just make everything feel better."

"Do you want to leave them up?" Sam asked, making Bucky look at him, surprised.

"Can we?" Despite the surprise, his voice sounded hopeful.

"Of course we can, Bucky, it's our home. We can do whatever we want. We're in charge here."

Bucky's smile made Sam want to get a million more lights just so his friend never stopped smiling like that.

"Thank you, Sam."

"It's nothing, man, it doesn't matter," he said completely seriously, because it was true. Nothing mattered, not the possible opinion of the neighbors, not the electricity bill... Nothing, if what it was compared to was Bucky's happiness.

Two days later, Sam was working on the computer when Bucky came in with a glass and a nervous smile.

"For you," he said, handing his the glass, which Sam accepted a bit puzzled. He took a sip, and his eyes opened wide. It was his favorite Starbucks coffee, a limited edition only available at Christmas and no longer sold.

"How did you get this?" Sam asked, genuinely impressed.

"Ever heard that everything is on the internet if you know where to look? Well, everything is on the internet if you know where to look," Bucky said, amused, while Sam took another sip of his coffee and closed his eyes with pleasure. "A former Starbucks employee posted the recipes on his TikTok."

"Wait, did you get the recipe, buy the ingredients, and make this coffee for me?" Barnes nodded, explaining why Bucky had wanted to go shopping alone that morning instead of waiting for Sam to finish his bureaucratic work and go together.

"You agreed to keep the lights for me, and I wanted to do something for you too."

"You know you didn't owe me anything, right? You weren't obligated to give me anything in return for the lights, Buck."

"I know, but you made me happy, and I wanted to make you happy too. I always want you to be happy, Sam."

Sam smiled and took another sip of his coffee.

"Thank you so much, Bucky, it's delicious."

Bucky's smile could have lit up the entire city.

"Do you really like it?"

"I love it!" And as if to prove his point, he took another sip. "Thanks again," he said with a smile as bright as Bucky's.

"Anytime, Sam," and he meant it because Bucky was willing to make all the coffees in the world or anything else the man wanted if it meant Sam would smile like that.

Chapter Text

Sam was looking at his phone with a furrowed brow, Bucky didn't know what he was so focused on, but it clearly bothered his friend.

"What's going on, Sam?" he asked, sitting next to him on the couch and handing him a cup of coffee, which Sam accepted.

"Just an article. Full of nonsense, doesn't matter," Sam replied.

Bucky tensed up. Since Sam had taken on the mantle of Captain America, as he always should have, many people were unhappy with the idea, complaining that someone like him "doesn't represent us." as if Steve, being a blond blue-eyed super-soldier, had represented the whole world when he was basically the opposite because how many American citizens were also super-soldiers? The problem, Bucky knew it, was the color of Sam's skin, and that made him so angry and infuriated.

One would expect things to have improved since the 1940s. Actually, it was, but, despite progress since the '40s, he found it disappointing that things like racism machismo or homophobia still existed.

Trying to keep his voice calm despite his anger, knowing it was this kind of prejudice that almost kept Sam from becoming Captain America, Bucky said,

"I won't tell you what to do, but I don't think you should read those articles. Who cares what a racist idiot says?" To his surprise, Sam looked away, indicating that wasn't the issue.

"Not racism this time? Then what...?"

"It's not about me."

"Who is it about?" But before Sam could answer, Bucky knew, "It's about me, isn't it?"

Sam nodded.

"Let me see it," Bucky asked, and Sam handed him the phone reluctantly.

As Bucky read with trepidation, the article wasn't as bad as he expected. He thought they might focus on his past with Hydra, questioning how someone who had committed such crimes should walk freely. Instead, it painted him as someone inferior , always in the shadow of Captain America, whoever it was, And always following him like a lapdog. Curiously, that last part was the one that bothered Bucky; He had never followed Captain America, at least not the figure.

He had followed and would have followed to the end of the world to Steve, his best friend, his brother, the sickly, skinny boy from Brooklyn, even when a super serum turned him into pure muscle, but to him he was still Steve, not Captain America.

As for Sam... Well, he didn't really know how to explain it because he didn't have the history with him that he had with Steve, they hadn't been friends for years and they didn't share a past, but he had also followed him before he was Captain America.

Of course, he was there the night Sam had finally taken up the mantle and had been there ever since, but he had followed him Delacroix, he had gone to bring him the suit when he could have simply told the Wakandans to give it to Sam instead of him, he had followed him to investigate Germany, despite Sam's refusal, he'd followed him in Tony Stark's funeral and stayed with Sam and Wanda instead of Steve, he'd also stayed with Sam when they were in Wakanda instead of going inside with the rest, he'd followed Sam during the battle at Leipzig-Halle Airport, heck he'd even followed Sam when Sharon returned their confiscated belongings, which is why he had ended up sitting in a car behind Sam, instead of Steve, when it would have been much better to sit behind Steve, at least he would have moved his seat, not like the asshole of Sam so, even if there was no logical explanation for it, he didn't follow Sam because he was Captain America, he followed him simply because he was Sam.

Sam interpreted Bucky's reflective silence in the worst possible way, as he believed Bucky had been bothered by what he had read

"None of that crap is true. You're a hero, Bucky, a great one. You're not inferior or anything like that. You're important and needed, you always have been," Sam reassured.

Bucky smiled at Sam's words. It felt nice to hear something like that

"Thanks, Sam. But I don't care about what the article says. I'm happy you have the shield, happy to work with you, and we're coworkers," he said with a smirk emphasizing the last word. "I go where you go. It's my choice, and I'm happy with it."

"Thanks, man," Sam smiled, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder.

There would always be critics, but in those moments, being together at home, they couldn't care less.

Chapter Text

Sam's feelings for Bucky were growing stronger every day.

He supposed it was normal, working, living, and basically spending his free time with the man, a man who seemed to become more comfortable in his own skin and had managed to build a new version of himself, far from the Winter Soldier and the weapon Hydra had turned him into.

Sam's problem wasn't falling in love with Bucky; Sam's problem was not knowing what Bucky truly felt for him. Because if Sam were 100% sure that Bucky didn't feel the same way, he could handle it, he could bury his unrequited love under layers of friendship and eventually move on, but he couldn't have that certainty.

There were times when Bucky showed him parts of himself or looked at him or smiled at him in such a special way that made him think he had a chance, but then he made no move or seemed content with the friendship they had, or he was charming with women, or flirt with Sarah (Bucky said he didn't, but, in Sam's opinion, he did) and Sam would go crazy not knowing what was going on in Barnes' mind.

It could be that the supposed signs that Bucky felt the same were just Sam seeing what he wanted to see; after all, it had always been said that Bucky was a "ladies' man," but on the other hand, that didn't mean he didn't like men too. It was the 30s-40s, Sam thought, it was normal for him to keep it a secret, right?

Sam wondered if he should stop waiting for the answer to come raining down from the sky and just do something about it. A part of him wished for it, but the other part was terrified of making things weird and awkward between them, and above all, of losing Bucky.

They had always had a feeling, a special connection, even when they didn't get along, and that connection had only grown stronger over time, and Sam didn't want to ruin it for anything in the world because it made him very happy. Of course, they still had their quarrels, their arguments, and their jokes; they were Sam and Bucky after all, but it couldn't be denied that their bonds were getting stronger and Sam wanted them to be even stronger.

He wanted the Bucky who was his friend, and the one who was his roommate, and the one who was his coworker, and the one who was his partner, and the one who was a disastrous cook, and the one who was like another uncle to Cass and AJ, and the one who was good at fighting, and the one who was good at fixing ships, and the one who was always willing to help, and the one who said things just to tease Sam, he wanted them all and even more, he wanted the Bucky who would be his boyfriend, the one he would kiss in the mornings and hug at night, he wanted the Bucky who wanted a future with him and who loved him like Sam loved him. He simply wanted his friend in all the versions of himself he was willing to give.

He could be happy with what they had, of course, having Bucky Barnes in his life, in whatever form, was a privilege, but he would never settle if he knew there was a chance to have more, so Sam was confused thinking about what to do, considering whether to tell Bucky how he felt about him or not.

Sadly, life decided for him. One day when he least expected it, Bucky told him that he had been offered to join a new team called the Thunderbolts and that he was going to accept. Sam tried to show himself happy for his friend, he really was happy for him, but sad for himself, still he knew that Bucky deserved to do what he wanted and make his own decisions, and Sam wouldn't be the one to stop him so he pushed those feelings down and supported Bucky.

Joining the new team meant that he could no longer be in Delacroix, which was another blow to Sam, Bucky said he would continue to pay his share and took everything from Sam to not yell at him that he didn't want his money, but him. He rejected the offer, Bucky insisted, and after much debate, they reached an agreement in which Bucky would continue to pay his share of the rent for 6 months.

Two days later, the man left, breaking both their hearts. Sam had wanted to ask him to stay, and Bucky had wanted him to, but Sam didn't speak, and Bucky left to live his new life, leaving Sam, the man who had wanted all facets of Bucky and had been left with hardly any, behind.

Chapter Text

In theory, the fact that Sam didn't see Bucky as often should have diminished his feelings for the man, but it wasn't happening that way, and it was truly frustrating.

He focused on his work as Captain America and helped out with the family business when he could, but deep in his mind, there were always those steel-blue eyes that felt like home.

Fortunately, Bucky hadn't stopped responding to his messages this time. In fact, sometimes it was Bucky who initiated conversations, which was a relief for Sam. After having worked, lived, been friends, and developed romantic feelings for the man, he couldn't bear the thought of him disappearing from his life again.

Nearly 5 months had passed since Bucky had left to join the Thunderbolts when Sam received a call from his phone number.

"Buck?" Sam answered, half excited and half worried because calls weren't something they usually did.

"Are you Sam Wilson?" asked a female voice, setting off alarms in Sam.

"Correct. Who are you? Is Bucky... is he okay?"

"I'm Yelena..." Sam noticed the hesitation in her voice.

"I know who you are," he said softly. Nat's sister, Bucky's companion in the Thunderbolts—of course, he knew who she was. "What's happened?" he asked with more desperation than he intended.

"Barnes has suffered serious injuries. The doctors say he'll recover, but I thought you'd want to know."

Sam felt his throat go dry, and a cold sweat ran down his back.

"What happened? How is he?"

"An explosion hit him." A strangled sound escaped Sam's lips. Images of another explosion reaching another one of his comrades, another man important to him, flashed through his mind, blending with new images of Bucky. "Sam?"

Yelena's voice brought him back to reality.

"I'm sorry," Sam said, realizing he was crying.

"He's fine," Yelena reassured Sam. "He's unconscious for now, but the serum is taking effect."

Sam felt relief flooding every part of his being.

"Can I go see him?"

"Of course. I'll send you the hospital name, room number, and address."

After saying their goodbyes and hanging up, Sam received the promised message and began to prepare, trying to ignore the growing ball of anxiety in his chest.

The journey to the hospital felt endless, but finally, he was there. He practically ran to Bucky's room, barely aware of the glances he received.

Yelena was there, and Sam greeted her with a nod, but the man he loved was lying in a bed, and that was all he could think about.

He was afraid of what he might find, but fortunately, Bucky was in better condition than Sam expected.

He had braced himself for the worst, and he was relieved to have been wrong. Yet, a horrible thought crossed his mind: it wasn't fair that Bucky looked practically intact while Riley had been torn apart, and his body couldn't even be fully recovered. Immediately, he hated himself for even thinking it when he was so relieved and grateful to have found Bucky like this. Damn it, he was truly happy about it, but he wished Riley could have been too. Still, he wouldn't trade Bucky's well-being for anything, not even for Riley. And that realization made him hate himself again, a sob escaping his lips.

"Everything okay, Captain?" Yelena asked, catching Sam off guard. He forced himself to nod.

"How is he?" Sam inquired as he moved even closer to the bed.

"Stable. Almost all of his wounds have healed, and the doctors believe he'll wake up soon."

"Can I stay with him?"

"Certainly! He'll be very glad to see you here when he wakes up."

And those words shouldn't have caused the flutter in the stomach that they did, but they still did.

"Yes?"

Yelena nodded.

"Trust me. I'm a spy," Sam smiled and directed a loving look at Bucky, which made the girl smile. Captain America didn't know it, but Yelena had noticed Bucky's infatuation with Sam. That was the reason she had called him in the first place, and she had no doubt that it was fully reciprocated by the new Captain America.

Later, Yelena left, and less than two hours later, Bucky woke up.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Sam greeted.

"Sam? What are you doing here?" Bucky asked, his voice slightly hoarse.

"Just making sure your stupid ass is okay," Sam replied.

Bucky couldn't help the smile on his lips.

"I'm fine, although I don't think calling someone 'your stupid ass' is something you should say to a convalescent person, especially when you're Captain America," he said with a cheeky grin.

"Oh, screw you, man," Sam retorted, making Bucky look very proud of himself.

Sam went to inform the medical staff that the man had awakened, and after checking on Bucky, they discharged him.

"Do you want me to take you somewhere?" Sam asked. If Bucky's expression was anything to go by, complex thoughts were racing through his brain until he finally nodded.

"Take me home," and the way Bucky said it made Sam certain that he wasn't referring to just any place he lived now but to their shared home in Delacroix. "With you," Bucky added, confirming Sam's suspicions.

Sam didn't know why this made him want to be honest about his feelings—maybe because the fact that Bucky wanted to return to the home they shared made him immensely happy, or perhaps because he had come close to losing him, or at least had felt the fear of it. Whatever it was, he felt he could no longer remain silent for even a second more.

"There's something I need to tell you," Bucky's expression remained almost impassive, but Sam could see the fear in his eyes, which almost made him regret starting that conversation. However, he decided to press on.

"I like you," Sam admitted. In reality, what he felt was much stronger, but he thought that saying "I'm in love with you" at that moment might be too much.

A smile lit up Bucky's entire face.

"You like me too, Sam."

"No, Bucky, I like you as more than a friend," Sam corrected, believing that Bucky hadn't understood him.

Bucky burst into laughter, which hurt Sam deep down.

"Forget I said anything," Sam snapped, turning to head toward the car. But before he could move, Bucky grabbed him.

"Sam?" Bucky asked, a mix of confusion and fear. With a sigh, Sam turned and faced him.

"What?"

"I don't want to forget it."

"So you can keep laughing about what I feel?" The expression on Bucky's face was as if he'd been punched in the stomach, but it softened quickly.

"I wasn't laughing at what you feel, just at the clarification. You also like me as more than a friend, idiot."

"God, I hate you."

"No, you don't," Bucky said, leaning toward him.

"No, I don't," Sam admitted, meeting him halfway and finally kissing him.

"Couldn't you have done that earlier?" Bucky asked with a smile when they pulled apart.

"Shut up," Sam replied, more tenderly than anything else.

"Make me," Bucky retorted with a challenging smile.

"Oh, you can be sure I will," Sam affirmed, also smiling, before kissing him again.

Chapter Text

It started as something tender and sweet. One night, they were preparing dinner together when Bucky asked,

"Sam, are you a door? Because you're A-door-able."

Sam laughed and approached his boyfriend to give Bucky a short kiss on the lips.

"Then I guess we're two doors because you're A-door-able too."

Bucky smiled and kissed Sam. This time the kiss was sweeter and longer, although they had to separate sooner than they would have liked to avoid burning dinner.

Two days later, Sam and Bucky were on their couch in Delacroix. Sam's head was on Bucky's lap, who was playing with Sam's hair while reading a book aloud for both of them.

"Hey, Sam," Bucky said with a smile when he finished the chapter he was reading, "Do you want to play carpenters?"

Sam looked at him, frowning.

"You know, first, we’ll get hammered, and then you’ll nail me."

Sam burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, I'm going to ban you from using the internet," he joked before moving to kiss him.

"But Sam," Bucky protested playfully, "I'm a toaster and you're the bread, I'm hot and I need you inside me."

"Definitely, no more internet for you," Sam assured, biting back a smile before sitting on his boyfriend's lap, taking the book from his hands, and starting to kiss him slowly, ready to fulfill his desires.

Chapter Text

Sam and Bucky had been together for a year and a half. Some might say that’s not much time, but Bucky didn’t need more to know that he wanted to be with his boyfriend forever and ever; in fact, he had known it for a long time.

Even before they were together, Bucky knew he wanted Sam in his life forever. For a long time, he thought he could only have him as a friend or, as Sam liked to call them, coworkers, and he had never been happier to be wrong. Now that they were together, the future seemed happier and brighter than ever.

There was only one thing that could make it better: that Sam also wanted a "forever" with him and said yes when Bucky knelt before him, took out the ring he had in his pocket, and asked the big question.