Chapter Text
Inuyasha stared in awe and giddiness at the pink bauble in his hands. Finally, finally, he had gotten his hands on the Shikon Jewel. Its legends told that it could grant three wishes to its bearer, all you had to do was rub the thing, and a genie—or a demon, the lore wasn’t very fucking clear about that—would pop up. The legends also were pretty contradictory regarding the truth behind its wish-granting capabilities.
Whatever, he was definitely going to test it.
The thing had been kept hidden by his great-aunt Kaede—on his mother's side—for years and had recently seen the light of day after she passed away. After the typical bullshit regarding the distribution of her various belongings, Inuyasha had managed to claim the damn thing for himself and was more than eager to spend those wishes. Though he didn’t know exactly what to wish for on all three chances, he already had one in mind.
He wanted a girlfriend.
Inuyasha wasn’t exactly the most social person and his gruff behavior usually drove women away. Not to mention his demonic features for being a half-demon weren’t exactly appealing to most of those women. They could handle the golden eyes and they could handle the silver hair, but they drew the line at the dog ears. Now, the easy thing would be to change himself with one of the wishes but he knew his parents would scream bloody fucking murder if he did so.
Besides, his mom loved his ears and would never fucking dare to take them away from her.
Sitting on his couch, he rubbed the thing between his hands and focused on calling forth the genie.
“Come on, you ass, get out of there and grant me my fucking wishes!”
Inuyasha blinked several times, watching in bewilderment and mild disappointment at the creature that emerged from the jewel.
Years of watching movies and TV had conditioned him to expect a grand blue genie—or a cute and sexy blonde in a skimpy pink outfit—to appear before his eyes. Instead, he was staring at a tiny, tiny demon whom he suspected to be some sort of bug. This had to be some kind of mistake, no way this was a genie, right?
“And who the fuck are you?!” Inuyasha shouted, scowling and crouching near the table to inspect the minuscule man up close. Yup, that was definitely some sort of bug.
“Good evening, Master! My name is Myoga and I’m the genie of the Shikon Jewel,” the small demon replied with a slight bow, and Inuyasha scowled harder at that.
“You’re a fucking bug, not a genie!” he exclaimed in wild confusion and anger.
For all he knew, this demon could have been hiding in his apartment and was pulling a fucking prank.
Myoga waved a dismissive hand. “Why yes, technically I am a bug. A flea demon if you must know, but I’m also the genie of the Sacred Jewel,” he explained while flashing a proud smile. “And what would be your name, Master?”
Inuyasha gaped like a fish for several seconds before finally providing his name.
Myoga nodded in acknowledgment before attempting a serious and professional posture, though Inuyasha thought it was completely ridiculous given the demon genie’s tiny size.
“I am to grant you three wishes, anything you want, Master Inuyasha. You don’t have to make all three wishes at once. When the wishes are spent, I’ll retreat into the Shikon Jewel and wait for a new master,” he explained while pacing on Inuyasha’s coffee table.
Inuyasha frowned at Myoga’s words. “What the fuck you mean with ‘new master’? I’m not giving this shit away to anyone!”
The flea demon scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish. “Then it would become just a powerless ornament until it changes hands. You would be out of wishes, remember?”
Whatever. That was a problem for Future Inuyasha.
“Okay. How the fuck do we do this? I make a wish and you instantly grant it?”
Myoga nodded. “Basically, yes. Though I’d suggest expressing some details. For example, if you were to wish for a house, it would help to know what kind of house and some details.”
Inuyasha nodded in understanding. It made sense, he didn’t suppose the little bugger could read minds.
“Alright, Myoga, I’m fucking ready for my first wish,” he declared proudly, barely able to contain his excitement. Finally he would have a girlfriend! Sure, he had brief relationships in the past that didn’t last past a week, so those girls didn’t count as such, damn it!
“Tell me, Master Inuyasha, what is it that you wish?”
Taking a deep breath, the half-demon let the words out on his exhale.
“I wish for a girl that isn’t disgusted by my inuyokai attributes,” Inuyasha proclaimed as he pointed to his dog ears.
“Your wish is my command, Master Inuyasha.” Myoga smiled wide as he snapped his fingers before Inuyasha’s world went dark.
Inuyasha bolted upright. Oookay, that was a weird as fuck dream.
Except… he wasn’t sitting nor had he been asleep. He was walking through the park at night, with a petite woman by his side.
Holy fuck! It worked! The fucking wish worked!
The woman was clinging to his arm, stealing seductive glances at him. Her hair was cropped short in a bob style, and she was dressed in sexy revealing clothes. Inuyasha could easily look down at her generous cleavage from his vantage point.
Not bad! Now, if only he knew her name… It was a very important fucking detail that needed fixing. He couldn’t go around with a girlfriend and not know her name!
Well, he was a resourceful guy and he would find out her name without having to ask.
They walked a couple of blocks, talking about events they supposedly went through together. Except that he couldn’t remember living any of them. Hiding his panic and confusion, Inuyasha dumbly nodded at her words.
“We’re finally here,” she practically purred at him as she unlocked the front entrance to a building, “it’s gonna be a memorable night.”
Whoa. Things between them were moving fast, it seemed. But hey, he wasn't going to complain; after all, it had been quite a while since he had gotten laid.
“Oh, I’m sure,” Inuyasha agreed, trying to portray a picture of confidence while internally cringing at not knowing her name.
Her apartment was on the first floor, and both of them soon stepped inside.
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to change into something more appropriate,” she cooed before disappearing into her bedroom.
“I’m not going anywhere—sweetie.”
He had to call her something, right? Couldn’t exactly go around calling her ‘girl’, ‘woman’, or ‘wench’!
While he waited for her to return, Inuyasha looked around the room and breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted her mail on the kitchen counter. All the bills indicated her name was Yura. However, Inuyasha grew concerned after fifteen minutes of waiting for her.
“Everything okay, Yura?”
Please, let her name be Yura.
It would be a colossal failure if “Yura” was a roommate, a sister, or someone else entirely.
“Just a second!” she called out from behind the closed door at the end of the hallway.
“Oka—what the fuck?!” Inuyasha practically screeched in dismay when Yura finally emerged from her bedroom, wearing a dominatrix outfit and holding a dog collar and a leash.
“Puppy needs some discipline from her master,” Yura purred, waving the offending items.
Inuyasha almost broke the hinges on his mad rush out the door.
“What the fuck was that?!” Inuyasha yelled at Myoga while pacing inside his apartment.
He had wasted no time summoning the useless genie as soon as he got home.
“I don’t comprehend, Master Inuyasha,” the small demon commented in evident confusion, and the hanyo cringed at the title used, remembering the demeaning incident with Yura.
“Stop calling me that ‘Master’ crap!” he warned in a loud growl, “you gave me a girlfriend with a dog fetish!”
Myoga cleared his throat, raising a finger to make his point across. “You asked for a girl who was not disgusted by your canine attributes. And that young lady was definitely not disgusted by them. I think the result was pretty accurate.”
“Not like that!” Inuyasha retorted indignantly, “I wanted a girlfriend who fucking embraced my inuyokai heritage healthily! Not some weirdo that wanted to get off by treating me like an actual dog!”
He visibly shuddered and gagged at his own words.
The demon genie gave him an apologetic yet condescending look. “In my defense, you failed to be specific in your wording, Master Inuyasha,” Myoga explained while ignoring the half-demon’s warning growl, “let’s try again, but make sure to word the details as best as possible.”
Inuyasha huffed in exasperation, glaring daggers at the flea demon. “Fine, you jackass.”
He spent several minutes thinking about how to better word his wish while pacing around his living room, and once he was done, he faced Myoga resolutely.
“I wish for a refined girl who honestly likes my demon heritage healthily and not as a weird fetish.”
The tiny demon bowed and snapped his fingers, happy to comply. “Your wish is my command, Master Inuyasha.”
The world went dark again before he could tell the fucking moron to stop fucking calling him ‘master’.
When he regained his bearings, Inuyasha was sitting at the table of an upscale restaurant. Across him, a beautiful woman with long dark hair and dark eyes perused the menu, brushing a strand behind a delicate pointed ear.
A demoness. Which meant she wouldn’t have some weird ass fetish about his demonic features.
To his left, Inuyasha spotted the kitsune server waiting for the couple to order.
“I’ll have the duck a l'orange,” the woman told the waiter before handing him the menu.
“Great choice, Miss Kaguya,” the red-haired young man commented before turning to Inuyasha, “what about you, sir?”
Well, fuck, he was certainly unprepared, but yay for learning her name in such an easy way. Quickly scanning the options, Inuyasha made his choice before addressing him. “I’ll have the dry-aged ribeye, medium rare.”
“Very well,” the kitsune said before collecting his menu and leaving the table.
The mood was definitely awkward, and Inuyasha could feel Kaguya’s eyes practically dissecting him, but he ignored it for the time being despite making him feel slightly uncomfortable.
They kept casual conversation about their respective jobs while they enjoyed their food. Kaguya was indeed gorgeous but she seemed a bit cold at times, yet Inuyasha dismissed her demeanor.
It wasn’t until he left her at her place that Kaguya showed her true colors.
“I certainly had a lovely evening, but—” she commented with a forced smile before she interrupted herself, clearly thinking.
Inuyasha recoiled at her words. Well, here comes the rejections. What the fuck?! Why? He managed to sort of tone down his gruff attitude throughout dinner!
“But…?” he hesitantly uttered, scowling and trying to coax her to finish her statement.
Kaguya waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, we’ll find a way to turn you into a full demon and get rid of that inferior human half and everything’s going to be perfect. Call me tomorrow?” she flippantly declared before kissing his cheek.
Inuyasha was stunned into a silent rage as her words sank in, only being broken out of his stupor once her door clicked shut.
Storming to his car, he made a silent vow to squash the little motherfucker who once again managed to fuck up yet another wish.
Only one left; what a fucking waste.
“Please don’t get angry at me, Master Inuyasha! I told you to be specific!” Myoga begged as he hopped around trying to evade the hanyo’s hand. “She certainly liked your demonic heritage!”
“Are you fucking kidding me?! She called my human heritage ‘disgusting’! She practically fucking insulted my mother! Nobody insults my mother, you piece of shit!” Inuyasha bellowed as he chased the flea, intending to inflict all the pain in the world.
“Well, I guess you’re right. I apologize for my oversight,” the tiny demon conceded as he jumped onto Inuyasha’s nose, causing the hanyo to accidentally smack his own face.
Huffing in frustration, Inuyasha sat down. What a fucking mess! Who knew genies could be so utterly fucking useless and unreliable? Why was it so fucking hard for Myoga to grant him a normal girlfriend?
“God, how I wish I could meet a normal girl that likes me just the way I am and fucking know what she actually thinks of me without having to suffer through awkward dates first!” he absent-mindedly whined out loud, running a heavy hand down his face.
“Your wish is my command, Master Inuyasha.”
“Oh, fuck!”
He realized too late of his awful mistake just as the world went dark for the third time.
Inuyasha found himself in the middle of the supermarket and promptly frowned. He wasn’t accompanied by any woman and was in fact surrounded by the usual people one would find in such places.
What the actual fuck?!
How could he have been so fucking stupid and vocalize his wish without thinking?!
Sighing in resignation, Inuyasha decided he might as well do his shopping while he was here.
The sense of paranoia followed him around, and he couldn't help casting glances at the different women in the gigantic supermarket. One of them should be connected to the last wish he accidentally cast, right? But it was impossible to tell which one.
The buzzing of voices around him lulled him into a temporary reprieve as he continued pushing his cart and dropping items inside.
“God, he’s so sexy. That silver hair looks so soft.”
Inuyasha looked up, noting that he was the only male in the vicinity matching that description, hair-wise at least. Casting a glance at all the women nearby, he noticed they were all busy doing their shopping or conversing with other people.
He shrugged to himself and continued grabbing his groceries.
A dreamy sigh caught his attention but he couldn’t pinpoint the direction that the sound came from. Odd.
“Those ears look so soft and adorable!”
He frowned, slightly apprehensive at the words, and unsure if the woman really liked them or if she was another weirdo like Yura. Looking around again, he could only see a woman with a small child picking candy, a middle-aged woman with a teen boy and a girl in her early twenties, and a lone grandma picking produce.
He scowled because it didn’t make fucking sense. That was definitely a conversation between friends, and none of these women fit the bill. Moreover, he still couldn’t figure out the origin of the voice. Giving up on this puzzle, Inuyasha moved farther away from the crowd.
“Get a hold of yourself, Kagome, you can’t go around ogling at attractive guys like a pervert. Shame on you!”
Inuyasha’s eyes snapped up, wide as a saucer as he realized the female voice had come from inside his head, and it was at that precise moment that he remembered the last wish he made.
…and fucking know what she actually thinks of me…
Holy fuck, he was actually hearing that girl’s mind. Now, if only he could find her…