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The Moon

Summary:

My name is Clover Duck. My mom accidentally took my egg with her on the rocket, and we got stuck on the moon. I've only ever seen the vast nothing of the moon, but the colors on Earth look like they would be beautiful. Mom and I chew a gum called Oxy-Chew that allows us to breathe, and it gives us the nutrients we need to survive. My mom tells me that I have three brothers on Earth, and I can't wait to meet them!

A/N: After A Nightmare on Kilmotor Hill, Clover uses the name Lucky and uses he/him. Please respect that in the comments after that chapter.

Notes:

The first 2 chapters are third person following Della, and everything after that is from Clover's POV.

Chapter 1: The Accident

Chapter Text

Della found out last night about the rocket named the Spear of Selene that her Uncle Scrooge has been building for her to celebrate her children's birth, but she has never been very patient. She decided to leave early in the morning and come back to Earth before anyone realizes that she was even gone. Her brother Donald has been very against even the idea of the Spear, so she figures that doing it in secret would be better.

Once she's sure that everyone is still asleep, she packs a bag and sings quietly to the four eggs she layed a month ago, "Look to the stars, my darling girl and boys. Life is strange and vast, filled with wonders and joys. Face each new sun with eyes clear and true, unafraid of the unknown because I'll face it all with you."

The doctors told her that she should be expecting three boys and a girl, and she wrote that lullaby for her children a few weeks ago. She sings the song to the eggs every night, hoping that they will hatch at the sound of her voice. She gives all of the eggs a hug and feels her bag slip down her shoulder, bumping the pillow the eggs are resting on.

She doesn't see that one of the eggs rolled into her bag, so she just slings it back over her shoulder and sneaks out of the house. Reaching the launching bay, she sets her bag inside the cockpit of the rocket ship, grabbing the space suit that she found inside. She gets changed, sneaking back onto the Spear.

She catches a glimpse of Scrooge across the launching bay, but he hasn't noticed her yet. She straps herself in, still unaware of the egg that is now inside the rocket. She takes off into space and is flying smoothly for a few minutes before getting caught in a cosmic storm.

She speaks into the small microphone built into her helmet, exclaiming, "Mayday! Mayday! Does anybody read me?!" After hearing no response, she punches the metal next to her, grumbling, "Stupid, no good -"

The screen activated, looking glitchy and the sound coming in patches.

She hears Scrooge say, "Della!"

She responds in a scared tone, "Uncle Scrooge!"

He tells her, "Turn back, it's too dangerous! The cosmic storm's coming at ya!"

She isn't able to respond as she maneuvers through the storm. He tries calling her name again, but the screen shuts off as the Spear of Selene is struck by lightning, cutting all power to the ship. The rocket is pulled into the gravitational pull of the moon, crashlanding and launching Della out of the ship, knocking her out. When she wakes up, the oxygen tank on her space suit is failing, so she is slowly losing air. She is panting as she frantically looks around. One of her legs is caught under the wreckage of the ship, but she spots a box of Oxy-Chew within arms reach. As she reaches for the gum that Gyro made, the egg rolls toward her. Her eyes widen in shock as she realizes what's happened. One of her children has gotten trapped on the moon with her.

She exclaims, "Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no! No no no no!"

She tries to reach for the egg but is unable to reach her un-hatched child. She starts chewing a few pieces of Oxy-Chew, tossing her helmet off of her, and lands it on top of the egg to try to protect it.

The flavor makes her grimace in disgust, "Ugh, black licorice?"

She kicks at the wreckage trapping her leg, but some more wreckage almost lands on her. She ends up having to cut off her leg just above the knee, covering the wound with some bandage wrap she found among the wreckage. It takes a few hours, but she is able to make a prosthetic leg with spare parts from the wreckage.

She found an intact room in the wreckage of the ship, luckily filled with air. She knew her child wouldn't be able to chew Oxy-Chew for at least a few months, so she would need to keep the child in this room until then, and find something for her child to eat. She brought the egg into the room and looked around the area for something she could potentially feed her child.

The only food source she could find was some small bugs, but it would have to do until the child was able to chew Oxy-Chew. After a few days, the egg started moving and hatched a few minutes later. The baby that hatched was Della's only daughter. She already had names prepared for her children, so she named her daughter Clover.

Chapter 2: The Videos

Chapter Text

Ever since her daughter hatched, Della has been working hard to fix up the communication channel to send a distress signal. After a week, the screen finally lights up.

She exclaims, "Yes! Ha ha! It works! Whoo! Take that, science!"

She is sitting at a makeshift desk with the screen in front of her and her newborn daughter asleep in her lap. Clover starts stirring and waking up, and Della realizes that she was being too loud.

She says in a quieter voice, "Okay, hey, Uncle Scrooge. Or Donald. Or literally anybody who can hear me. This is Della Duck!"

Her arms shoot up in excitement, and the lights suddenly go out. She flicks the light switch again to turn them back on.

The screen is still on, so she keeps talking, "Right, so here's what's up. The freak cosmic storm knocked out most of my systems. But, because I am an amazing pilot, I landed the ship safely. For the most part." She lifts her robotic prosthetic leg onto the desk, displaying for the screen, "Eh? Ehhhh?! Pretty cool robot leg. I'm still working on it. Maybe add some jets or a can opener?"

She takes a moment to get her brain back on track, saying, "Anyway, I've been able to survive in the thin lunar atmosphere thanks to Gyro's Oxy-Chew. It provides oxygen, water, and nutrition. And tastes terrible! Black licorice. Worst flavor ever. It's fine. I'm sure the flavor will wear off soon. I've activated my distress beacon, so if you're getting these transmissions, you'll be able to pinpoint my location and come get me."

Her daughter starts whining for her, so she holds her in her arms, making her appear on the screen.

Della frowns, saying, "Unfortunately, my only daughter's egg came with me on the Spear. Luckily, I found this room filled with air, so she'll be able to breathe until she's able to chew Oxy-Chew. The only food source on the moon is some bugs, but it's enough for her to survive for now. I've made efforts to get off this rock myself. It did not go great." 

The room has a small bed with a metal frame and thin matress and blankets, and a huge chalkboard with a few marks on it.

She gestures to the room around her, saying, "In the meantime, I've put together a pretty boss shelter for us and fashioned some clothes. Got a nice, comfy bed. A calendar marking the days we've been here. And the uh... family room."

The 'family room' is just a smaller area in the room where Della put up a picture that her, Donald, and Scrooge took of them with the four eggs.

She frowns again, saying, "Bet the boys have hatched by now, like their sister. Not even sure what they look like. Ooh! Uh, hold on."

She grabs a marker, drawing three crude drawings of ducks on the back of the picture.

Della places the picture back where it was, with the side with the drawing now face-up, "Here we go! That's better!" She turns back to the camera, saying, "Donald, if you're there, put the screen up to the crib." She waits a moment before saying, "Hey, kids! I'm your mom! I know I'm on a little trip, for now, but I'll keep sending these transmissions. You'll barely know I'm gone! I promise I'm coming home, somehow. Nothing can stop Della Duck!" She turns her attention to her daughter, saying, "Oh, man, we're gonna go on so many adventures when we get back. In fact, there's this old song about adventure that I used to sing to -"

She's interrupted by the ship shaking violently, making her daughter drop out of her arms and to the floor. Her daughter starts wailing in terror, and Della leaves the room to investigate. In the next room, she sees a giant bug monster, more than 5 times her height. The monster has tentacles over its mouth and is eating one of the metal walls, melting it with corrosive saliva.

Della exclaims, "What are you?!"

She ends up having to fight the monster before it could get to the room her daughter is in. She finally gets the monster to leave and returns to the room Clover is in, completely disheveled from the fight. She gets her daughter to calm down, turning back to the screen.

She says, "Good news: We're not alone. Bad news: There's a horrifying bug monster out there trying to eat me. Important life lesson on bug monsters, kids: you're gonna be worried about the pincers, but remember their spit is corrosive too."

She turns the screen off.

6½ months after crash...

Della is angrily chewing the disgusting gum as she switches the screen on, saying, "That's Day 192. The gum has not yet lost its flavor." She sits at the makeshift desk for a moment, struggling to contain her anger, "Soooo... it's been a few months. I haven't heard back from anyone. I need to find some other way to call for help." She rummaged through the desks drawers, picking up a book and showing it to the screen, saying, "Luckily, I found this in the wreckage! My old Junior Woodchuck Guidebook!" She flips through the pages, then reads out one that looks relevant, "'How to survive a shipwreck: Create a signal for passing ships'."

She adds the word 'rocket' before 'ships', to make it say 'rocket ships'. She figures that if Scrooge made the Spear of Selene, he'll probably make more ships and send them to find her. Her daughter has been chewing Oxy-Chew for the last few weeks and has started trying to crawl around. Clover follows Della around as she makes a message for Scrooge out of the wreckage.

Once she's confident that it'll be seen from space and finishes her message, she holds her daughter in her arms and hops up to a higher peak to read the message aloud, "'Hey, Scrooge, it's me, Della. I'm alive on the moon with my daughter. Send help. And snacks. This gum is the worst. Sincerely, Della'. Perfect!"

Suddenly, the bug monster emerges from the ground, destroying her message and taking metal parts in its claws. At the sight of Della's name, it spits out its corrosive spit to destroy her name.

Della groans, "Well, that was unnecessary."

After getting the monster to go away, Della tries to rebuild her message. After building a giant S, she looks around, noticing the lack of scraps thanks to the monster attack.

She says, "Not enough scraps for a full 'S.O.S.'. Need something that will get Scrooge's attention."

After thinking for a moment and seeing a single long metal strip, she places it on top of the S, making it look like a money symbol.

She exclaims, "Nailed it!"

1 year after crash...

Della made a makeshift birthday cake for her children out of moon dirt, and the candle is a lit flare she found in the wreckage.

She turns on the screen, singing, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to my children. Happy birthday to you!"

She tries to blow out the flare but fails. After a few tries, she flips the flare and sticks it into the cake, melting the cake. She tries to reshape the cake, but it keeps melting back onto the desk.

She sets it aside as she turns to the camera, saying, "I'm sorry we can't be there to celebrate your first birthday together, but I am trying."

Suddenly, the rocket shakes, signaling the moon creature's appearance.

Della yells, "Do not mess with me today, Moon Mite!"

She looks out the window, seeing a rocketship nearing the moon.

She turns to the screen, exclaiming, "Forget cake, guess what you're gonna get for your birthday? Your mom!" She turns to her daughter, continuing, "We're going home!"

She picks up Clover, holding her in her arms.

Della runs outside to fight the mite, yelling, "Hey! Get away from there! Let's make a deal: you leave my S.O.S. alone for, like, ten seconds, and once I'm off this stupid rock, you can eat my whole dang ship! Eh? Ehhh?!"

The mite looks at her for a few seconds before going back to eating the metal support beams, causing the rocket to fall back to the ground, further destroying it. The mite then shuffles to her message, grabbing one of the strips of metal.

Della sets Clover down by the Spear, trying to yank the metal out of the mite's claw, exclaiming, "Let! It! Goooo!"

The mite picks her up, tossing her away from it. Their fight kicks up a cloud of dust, making the nearing rocket fly away, not seeing any sources of life. Della slaps the mite's face with her prosthetic leg, but it takes the leg and burrows back underground.

Della sees the rocket moving away from the moon, and exclaims, "No! Wait! Come back!"

She tries to jump after the ship, but the gravity pulls her back down. She falls to the ground without her prosthetic, and Clover walks over to her.

Her daughter climbs into her lap, and Della starts brushing Clover's hair with her hands, saying, "Okay. New plan."

She makes a new prosthetic with the few parts around her and heads back inside the ship with her daughter trailing behind her.

Della turns the screen back on, saying, "Plan C: I'm gonna rebuild the Spear of Selene! I mean, how hard can it be? It's just rocket science."

She switches the screen off, finding the owner's manual. The book is filled with complicated mathematics that Della doesn't fully understand.

She says, "Oh, boy."

She sits down at the desk to focus on the book, but keeps nearly falling asleep. Clover crawls over to her, and Della pulls her daughter into her lap.

After nearly hitting her head on the desk again, she says to herself, "Focus, Della! Like Donald always says, do things by the book."

After another hour of struggling with the complicated math equations, she gets frustrated and destroys the book in her fury, stomping on it in frustration.

After realizing what she did, she says, "Good thing Donald's not here."

6 years after crash... 

She decided to try to build it herself but kept failing. After a few months of trying on her own, she finally rebuilt the destroyed owner's manual. Once she started following the book, it took her years to rebuild the Spear correctly. So long, in fact, that Clover is now 6 years old. Della has been making videos full of life lessons and childhood stories to send to her family back on Earth.

Della switches the screen on, saying, "Okay, it took..." She takes a moment to think, counting the years it's taken before continuing, "A while, but I finally did it. I rebuilt the Spear of Selene! Best mother ever!"

She and Clover head into the cockpit of the rocket and sit down in the pilot's chair, Clover in her lap.

Della puts the key in, saying, "Alright, I just gotta start this baby up, and we're on our way home!"

She turned the key, but nothing happened. She tries a few more times before grunting in anger, heading back to the 'living room' to read through the manual again. She finally finds the page about the fuel, finding that it needs gold to start.

She turns on the screen, angrily saying, "It wasn't enough that Gyro created the most disgusting flavor of gum that somehow gets more flavorful as you chew it, but then he had to use his stupid Gold Tech to make the engine run! How am I gonna find stinkin' gold on the stinkin' moon?!"

Clover walks up to Della, saying, "Maybe there's some in areas we haven't seen yet?"

Della forces herself to calm down as she sees her daughter, saying, "Okay, I spent 20 years with the best treasure hunter in the world. If there's gold on this rock, I'm gonna find it." She switches the screen off, telling her daughter, "Clover, honey, I'm gonna be gone for a few days. Can you be a good girl and stay on the ship?"

Clover nods her head, and Della sets out.

Chapter 3: Life On the Moon

Chapter Text

Clover's Moon Clothes

My mom got stuck on the moon after test-driving her rocket, the Spear of Selene. She tells me that I have three brothers and two uncles back on Earth, and she is often sending videos to them on updates and life lessons for my brothers. I'm not in the videos often anymore. The rocket gets attacked by a moon mite every few months, and every time it melts more of the metal, making it harder for Mom to fix the Spear back up.

The only place I've ever known is the moon, and the only person I've ever seen is my mom. She always looks really lonely, even though she has me. There's not much to do around here on the rocket, so I just read and re-read the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook. It's the only book on this ship other than the owner's manual, but that one's really boring, and the JWG teaches me about Earth.

A few months ago, Mom got what she called a TV working, and we saw a broadcast from Earth that showed my brothers and uncles. It said that they had saved Duckburg, the town where Mom grew up, from living shadows and a scary woman named Magica. A few days ago, Mom said that it was Christmas on Earth, and explained how they celebrate it. Earth holidays seem strange, but I also can't wait to experience them.

For the last five years, Mom leaves for a few days at a time, looking all over the moon for gold to power the ship. She says that the only thing we're missing now is fuel. I'm 11 years old, and I'm really looking forward to seeing Earth for the first time. There's never any color outside of this ship, and nothing ever changes around here, other than the Mite attacks.

Mom's been gone for almost 10 days now. She's never been gone that long, but I can tell she's getting desperate. 2 years ago, she found out that the rocket needed gold to run, but gold is very rare on Earth, and she's not sure there's any on the moon. She's been leaving for longer lately and is more frustrated each time she comes back.

She walks back into our shelter room, turning the screen on and angrily saying, "Welp, there's no gold on the moon." As she brushes moon dust out of her hair, she imitates someone's voice, saying, "Tear me tartan. I'm the richest duck in the world, but I cannae possibly spare any backup gold, even though the engine runs on it!"

She crosses her arms in frustration, saying, "Life lesson, kids: adventuring is tough. Ya know, sometimes there's a cursed idol that turns into a demon. Or sometimes you crash land on the moon with your daughter and try to stay alive, but a Moon Mite messes everything up, keeping you here while your other kids grow up with their uncles." I can see her eye twitching in barely contained frustration, and she continues, "But you still got your health, your daughter, a cool robot leg, and gum that mocks you with every chew!"

She takes a hard bite, then holds her cheek in pain. She reaches into her mouth and pulls out an oddly colored tooth.

Her anger is replaced with excitement as she exclaims, "A gold filling?! Ah! Ha ha ha! I had gold in my mouth this whole time!" She then gets angry again she she repeats, "I had gold in my mouth this whole time?!" She then has a look of realization as she says, "That's why Scrooge made me go to the dentist as a kid. It wasn't about hygiene at all! I've got backup gold! Nothing can stop me now!"

She spins in her chair in excitement, but the ship shakes violently. The mite is attacking again!

Mom says, "No no no no! Not this time!"

Mom and I head out and fight the Moon Mite as usual, but suddenly, the Mite is hit with a blast from far away behind Mom and I. I turn around and almost get hit with a second blast, making me fall backward in shock. I see a tall purple being holding some type of gold-colored blaster and golden clothes and armor.

She's aiming her blaster at us, yelling, "Halt in the name of the Moon!"

Mom asks, "Wait, what? Who? What?!"

I ask, "W-what are you?"

The being doesn't respond, and the Mite starts burrowing back underground, taking the Spear with it.

Mom says, "Oh, no, you dont!"

She starts digging through the dirt to find it, but it's useless.

As Mom keeps digging through the dirt, the purple being says, "Don't ignore me when I threaten your lives! Respect my dominance! Who are you both, and how did you get here?!"

Mom has her back to the being as she keeps digging.

I say, "I-I'm Clover."

Mom adds, "Hi! Della Duck. I have, like, 13 million questions! But right now, we have to get our ship and get back to Earth!"

A taller, more muscular blue being with matching clothing to the purple being says, "Stand down, Lieutenant Penumbra." The blue being walks up to me and helps me up, saying, "Greeting, Earthers. I am General Lunaris of the Planet Moon."

Mom keeps digging as she says in disbelief, "What? The Moon's not a planet."

The purple being, Penumbra, aims her blaster at Mom again, exclaiming, "You will treat the vastly superior Moon with respect, or you will suffer the ultimate concequence."

Mom says, "Look, I'll suffer whatever consequences you want after I find the mite."

Penumbra rolls her eyes, scoffing, "Uh, ha. The courageous warriors of the Planet Moon have been hunting the beast for more than three cycles. So, how are pathetic Earth-dwelling dummies going to find it?"

I say, "Well, I've never actually lived on Earth yet, but our only way to go back to Earth is our ship that the Mite stole!"

Suddenly, the dirt caves in, pulling all of us down into a secret chamber where the Mite is.

Mom says, "Hey, I found the mite!" The Mite hisses at us, and Lunaris says, "Open fire, Lieutenant Penumbra!"

They both fire their blasters at it, hitting it until it charges at us.

Penumbra says to Lunaris, "Quick! Feed the Earthers to the beast! While it's crushing their weak bones, we kill it!"

My eyes widen, and Mom grabs Penumbra's blaster, saying, "Listen, we both know how this goes. First we hate each other, then go on a life-changing adventure, then..." Mom blasts the Mite, exclaiming, "Boom! Best friends! So, can we move this along, Penny?"

Penumbra takes the blaster back, replying, "My name is Lieutenant Penumbra!"

The Mite starts shooting its corrosive spit at us, accidentally melting the Spear. Our only way home. My only way of meeting the rest of my family. I collapse to my knees in front of it, tears in my eyes. Now I'll be stuck on this colorless rock forever. I feel Mom's hand on my shoulder. I look at her, and she wipes away my tears before turning toward the Mite, punching it. Penumbra keeps shooting, nearly hitting Mom.

Lunaris exclaims, "Stop firing, Lieutenant. You'll hit Della!"

She blasts again, then stops.

Mom yells to the Mite, "You won't stop me from getting home to my other kids, ya creepy-crawly crook! I will not fail my daughter again!"

All of a sudden, we hear a baby crying, and look to the Spear to see a small Mite. It's kinda cute.

Mom says, "Wait, the Mite isn't a monster. It's a mother!"

Penumbra asks, "Who cares?"

I respond, "The Mite's not our enemy. It's just trying to survive. Like me and Mom."

Mom adds, "She put herself in danger, faced unknown threats, scoured this entire planet for any scrap of metal." Mom looks at me and smiles as she continues, "Because a mother would do anything for the sake of her kids."

Penumbra tries to say something, but stops herself, still frowning.

Mom says, "Let me try something. I used to sing this old song to my boys before they hatched, and I still sing it to Clover. Honey, want to join me?"

I nod, and we sing to the baby Mite, "Look to the stars, my darling girl and boys. Life is strange and vast, filled with wonders and joys. Face each new sun with eyes clear and true. Unafraid of the unknown, because I'll face it all with you."

Mom was tearing up at the end, looking up at the Earth. I start petting the baby Mite as Mom walks over to Penumbra and Lunaris.

She says, "Quick, give me your guns."

They do, and Penumbra says, "Ooh, good plan. Lull the beasts into a false sense of security, only to betray them when they're at their most vulnerable! Huh, maybe we are becoming best friends."

Mom walks over to me and the Mites with the blasters, and she hands me one.

I nod, knowing what she means. She feeds one to the Mama Mite, and I feed the other one to the baby Mite.

Penumbra exclaims, "Boo! You disappoint me in every way possible!"

The Mites leave, waving at us. Mom and I smile and wave back.

Lunaris says, "We fought the Mites for cycles, and you turned them back, not through battle, but compassion. If we simply share the gold, we will no longer be at war with the beasts! You have both done the Planet Moon a great service today, Della and Clover Duck." 

Mom and I turn back to the ruined Spear, and Mom says to me, "There's no way I can fix this. I'm sorry, honey. I tried."

I give her a big hug and reply, "It's okay, Mom. I still have you, and that means more to me than going home."

Mom smiles sadly, hugging me back.

Lunaris says, "You might not be able to go home, but that doesn't mean you can't make a new one with us."

He leads us back to the surface, and to a huge rock with yellow stripes on it.

He continues, "For too long, the Mites have been attacking our home, but my people will hide in fear no more."

Mom nervously says, "Neat house, heh. Where I'm from, we call this a rock."

Penumbra annoyedly asks, "General, am I allowed to disintegrate her yet?"

I glare at her. Mom may think they're best friends, but I don't trust Penumbra. She's so rude and snarky. I doubt this is how people on Earth act. At least, I hope not. Lunaris puts his hand to the rock, and half of the Moon dissipates away, revealing a huge city made entirely of gold.

He says, "Welcome to Tranquility."

Mom exclaims, "Wait. This whole time there's been a city here?! And we've been slumming it in the Moon desert?!"

Penumbra replies, "I told you you were dummies."

Mom continues, "And you guys had food and weapons and... gold!"

Lunaris chuckles, saying, "It's our most plentiful resource. We use it for everything."

Penumbra adds, "Sometimes we just throw it in the trash, which is also made of gold."

Mom replies, "Wow. That is incredibly infuriating, but amazing!" She hugs Penumbra as she laughs, "Ha ha ha ha! We can fix our ship!"

Penumbra exclaims, "Your attempts to wrestle me to the ground are pathetic!"

Mom stops hugging her, exclaiming, "See? Best friends!"

I force myself to smile when Mom looks at me. She grabs a handful of gold, and we head back to dig up the Spear.

Chapter 4: The Golden Spear

Chapter Text

It's been a few days since Mom and I found out that we're not the only life on the Moon. Since then, Mom's been forcing herself to stay awake, working harder on fixing the Spear now that we have gold. The TV Mom fixed up has been looping the same news broadcast over and over, showing us the same message of my family saving Duckburg from Magica. 

Mom and I are making another trip to Tranquility for gold, and Lunaris says, "I do wish you would take up our offer to stay with us here. It would be the perfect place to work on your ship."

Mom yawns, responding, "No thanks. The only person I ever managed to bunk with other than Clover was my brother, and we fought constantly."

Mom never told me that before, but she was laughing a little when she was talking about her brother. I think his name was Donald? Mom's told me about a lot of family members, so it's hard to remember who's who without meeting them.

Lunaris says, "Well, it's better than sleeping out in the wastes."

Mom says, "Oh, I'm not sleeping. I'm this close to patching up our ship and getting home to our family. I just need a little more gold."

I look up, seeing a huge statue of Penumbra made of gold.

I ask, "Is that Penumbra?"

Lunaris responds, "Penumbra was our greatest warrior. Together, we held the mites at bay. She is a hero of the Planet Moon."

Mom says, "Which is technically not a planet, so... Moon-Moon?"

Penumbra comes out of nowhere, tackling Mom and holding her by her ankle, yelling, "Planet Moon!"

Moon says, "Oh, hi, Penny."

Penumbra yells, "Penumbra!"

Mom asks, "Oh, is it Moon custom to yell?" She shouts, "Howdy, Penny!"

I ask Lunaris, "Why is she so angry all the time?"

Lunaris responds, "Forgive Penumbra. Since the mites stopped attacking, she is a warrior with no war to fight."

Mom says, "Look who's got an extended vacay, huh? What are you gonna do now?"

Penumbra brings Mom's face close to hers, responding, "Seethe."

She drops Mom, and Mom rights herself, saying, "Sounds fun! I better get back to work. The Spear of Selene's not gonna rebuild itself! Come on, Clover."

She grabs my hand, and drags me with her back to the Spear. I fall asleep against the outside of the Spear when Mom stays up working again. I wake up later that night in a golden bed, Mom waking up in the bed next to me.

I see Lunaris leaving the room, so I call out, "Where are we? Who's room is this?"

Lunaris turns around, responding with a kind smile, "This is Penumbra's guest room in her house. After we saw you both collapsed outside the Spear, she offered to house you both until your ship is fixed. We moved the ship into the center of town for you both to access it easier."

I smile back, saying, "Wow. And here I thought she hated us."

Mom says, "Well, I can't say no to my new best friend, right?"

Lunaris smiles, leaving. I look over at Mom when I go to lay back down. She smiles at me and gives me a hug, and we both fall back asleep. The next day, I wake up to see that Mom's not in bed next to me anymore. I find my way outside Penumbra's house, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I see Mom talking to Penumbra. 

I hear her say, "Look at us, strangers from different worlds forced to be roommates. We're a classic odd couple."

I ask, "What's an odd couple?"

Mom and Penumbra look at me, both just noticing that I'm here.

Mom says, "It was a type of TV show on Earth." Mom turns to Penumbra, saying, "Thanks for letting us stay at your pad, Penny."

Penumbra corrects, "Lieutenant Penumbra."

We head back inside, and Mom finds a small spear in the living room.

Mom says, "Aw, look at your cute little spear."

Penumbra snatches it away, saying, "That was my childhood training spear. I used it to defend my home from unwanted pests."

She glares at Mom, and I whisper to Mom, "Maybe don't touch her things? She seems kinda touchy."

Mom says to Penumbra, "Speaking of Spears, we'd better get back to working on ours. Hey, we both have Spears. That's neat."

Penumbra says, "No, it isn't."

Mom says, "Yes, it is."

As we get further away, Penumbra calls, "No, it isn't!"

Mom calls back, "Yes, it is!"

Penumbra yells, "No!"

Did she really offer to house us? The way she's acting tells me she didn't, but Lunaris hasn't lied to us before. Maybe she's only like this on the outside and is caring in the inside? I don't know. I don't have any experience dealing with people other than Mom.

As we climb up some scaffolding, Penumbra's neighbor says, "You're the strangers that saved us with your Earth ways! Hey, Zenith!"

Another Moon person, Zenith, walks up, saying, "True heros living right next door. Count my lucky stars."

I ask, "Isn't Penumbra a Moon hero? She lives right next door to you, too."

Zenith says, "Well, yes, but she's not an Earth hero!"

I see Penumbra's shoulders drop behind Zenith, an angry expression still on her face.

Zenith's partner says, "I heard you two best the mite with compassion. Is that some fancy Earth fighting technique?"

Mom says, "No no, we're just a mom and daughter trying to get home to see our family."

Zenith's partner says, "You have helped us so much."

Zenith says, "We would be so honored to help you in any way."

Mom says, "Really? Thanks!"

As they help us with the Spear, we learn that Zenith's partner's name is Gibbous. Their names sounded familiar, so I looked in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook. I found the astronomy section, and found the origin of their names. Apparently, the Moon people's names are Moon or space puns. Makes sense.

A 'zenith' is a point where a celestial object, like the Moon, is either at its most powerful or directly above the viewer. A 'gibbous' is a Moon cycle where the moon is more than half lit, but still shaded. A 'penumbra' is the partially shaded region of the shadow cast by an opaque object, like the shadow cast on the Moon by the sun. A lunar phase, or 'lunaris', is the shape of the Moon's sunlit portion. 

Mom started telling stories of her adventures to the Moon people forming a crowd, and I put my book away as she finishes one, "So I tied up the Beagle Boys and strung them down from the bank rafters like a yo-yo."

Gibbous says, "That is amazing. What is a yo-yo?"

I respond, "I'm pretty sure it's a kid's toy."

Mom adds, "You do tricks with it? Around the World? Walk the Dog?"

Gibbous says, "That is amazing. What is a dog?"

I respond, "That's a common pet on Earth."

Penumbra finally walks up, and Mom says, "Ah, well, look who's coming around."

I say, "Hi, Penumbra. It's good to see you."

Penumbra says in a strained voice, "Greetings, roomies."

Mom asks, "Do I see a shenanigan in our future?"

Penumbra says, "Yes, shenanigans. Another reason Planet Moon is more fun than your lame Earth."

Mom says, "Aw, we can both be great, right? The Earth, the Moon which orbits around the Earth."

Penumbra growls, nearly shooting me with her blaster. I dodge out of the way and glare at her.

She nervously laughs, saying, "Shenanigan! Anyway, the Moon is safe and beautiful and is everything you could possibly want, right?"

Zenith responds, "I thought so... until I learned of the wondrous dogs and yo-yos." She says to Mom, "Tell us more about why you love it so."

Mom says, "Well, because the rest of my family is there, and because the Earth has wonders large and small. Clover, I can't wait to show you all of it. The Pyramids. The humpback whale. Slap bracelets."

A Moon person, Palus, asks, "What is a 'slapping bracelets'?"

I say, "Watch this."

I grab a bracelet from my wrist and straighten it out before slapping it on Palus's wrist. A 'palus' is a small plain on the surface of a planet, moon, or satellite.

She says, "I've never seen anything so stylish!"

Penumbra says, "Um, hello. We have matching outfits made of gold!"

Mom says, "The Earth is beautiful. When I get back, I'm gonna show Clover and my boys every inch of it. It'll be like we never left! We'll conquer Mt. Neverrest. Discover the hidden pyramid of Toth-Ra. I'm telling you, our family is fearless!"

Mom keeps telling stories, eventually getting to my favorite one. The Gilded Man of El Dorado.

The Moon people are enraptured as Mom says, "The gargantuan Gilded Man tore through El Dorado, annihilating everything in its path like 'Raaaaah'! But I looked at the bionic behemoth square in its cold, unfeeling eyes. I climbed up its craggy armor, burst inside, and tore him apart from within, bringing his tyrannical, mechanical reign to an end!"

The Moon people cheer and applaud, and Zenith says, "Ooh, nothing that exciting ever happens in Tranquility."

Penumbra exclaims, "That's why it's called Tranquility, not Robot Monster Town!"

Palus asks, "Ooh, is there a Robot Monster Town on Earth?"

I dramatically say, "Not once my mom and I are done with it! Right, Mom?"

Mom nods at me. She looks proud. After a few hours, the Spear is fully operational. 

Mom says, "It's working! Thanks, all of you! We're finally getting back to our family on Earth!"

The Moon people cheer, and Penumbra exclaims, "If you all think Earth is so great, why don't you just go already?!"

Palus asks, "Can we please go with you?"

Gibbous says, "Ooh, we could get our very own dog."

Zenith exclaims, "Ooh, and dress it in slap bracelets!"

The Moon people cheer again, but I see Mom's sad face. 

I ask Mom, "What's wrong? Can't we take them?"

Mom shakes her head, saying, "I wish we could take all of you, but the Spear is too small. There's no way you'd all fit."

Penumbra says, "But the great hero can do anything! Surely she could do it if she wanted to."

The Moon people gasp, and Gibbous asks, "Was it something I did?" He asks Zenith, "Was it something you did?"

Zenith asks us, "Are you embarrassed by our primitive Moon ways?"

I exclaim, "No! We want to bring you! You did nothing wrong!"

Mom adds, "I really wish we could take you, but it's just not possible."

Penumbra says, "I thought nothing could stop the amazing Della and Clover Duck! Too bad. They're failures and liars."

Rude.

The Moon people murmur and I hear Gibbous ask, "How could they?"

I see Mom so in thought for a moment, then she says, "Or maybe it is possible!"

Penumbra says, "What? No!"

Mom says, "Penny's right! I learned rocket science! I raised my daughter! I rebuilt my ship! Why can't I fit you all in the Spear?"

Gibbous desperately asks, "I don't know! Why?!"

Zenith says, "No honey, she's saying they can."

Gibbous tears up, happily saying, "Oh, really? Oh, thank you!"

The Moon people cheer, and Mom says, "You all helped me and my daughter. This is the least we can do. Pack your bags! We're all going to Earth!"

The Moon people cheer again, and I see Penumbra angrily walking away, her spear snapped in half.

I say, "Mom? Penumbra left something. Maybe we can help her fix it."

Mom smiles at me, and I grab an adhesive strip from the Spear, putting it back together. We follow Penumbra's path, finding her with Lunaris.

She exclaims, "She's a liar, she's definitely up to something, and she's never washed a dish!"

Mom asks, "Who are you talking about?"

I ask, "What's a dish?"

Mom says, "It's what you eat food off of, honey. Anyway, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

Penumbra says, "We weren't talking about you! We were talking about another foul-beaked beast. You don't know her."

I hold out Penumbra's fixed spear, saying, "I found this over by the statue."

Mom adds, "You guys helped us fix our Spear, it's only right that we fix yours."

Penumbra takes her spear back, a confused look on her face.

Lunaris says, "Thank you, Della and Clover. That's too kind."

Mom holds out our family picture from before the crash, showing Lunaris and Penumbra the back, a hand-drawn picture of my brothers that Mom drew when I was a baby. 

Mom says, "These are my sons, Clover's brothers. Their heads aren't really shaped like eggplants. I'm not a good artist. But thanks to you, I'm going to have a chance to be a good mom to them and for my daughter to meet her family for the first time. I know what it's like to be separated from your people. To be forced to trust someone else to protect them. No one could ever protect your people as well as you, Penny, but as long as they're with me and Clover, I'll try with all I've got. Promise."

Mom and I head back to Penumbra's house, going to sleep. I wake up later that night next to the Spear, the computer counting down.

I hear Mom sleepily saying, "I told you, Penny. I'll wash the dishes tomorrow." I rub the sleep from my eyes to see Penumbra standing over us when Mom gasps, "The Spear! What's going on?!"

Penumbra responds, "I... don't... know? There must have been a malfunction."

Mom exclaims, "I can't stop it! The emergency launch is irreversible!"

Penumbra says, "Go. Get back to your family."

Mom exclaims, "But what about the others?! We can't leave them behind! I promised!"

Lunaris walks over, saying, "We'll build more. Give me the plans for the ship. We'll build a fleet that will follow you shortly. You both have inspired my people, Della and Clover. Let me return the favor."

Mom gives him the manual, and hugs Penumbra, pulling me into the hug. I feel Penumbra return the hug after a moment, then Mom and I hop into the Spear's cockpit just as it closes, launching us.

Mom exclaims, "We're coming, boys! Mom is coming home!"

It takes a few hours to get to Earth, and I'm blinded by the light. Earth is a lot brighter than the Moon, and much more colorful. We land in something green covering the ground, and we hop out. I lay down in the green, laughing. It's itchy, but also soft.

I ask Mom, "What's all this green stuff?"

Mom chuckles, responding, "It's grass, honey. It's all over."

She helps me up, and we head over to a huge gate in front of a huge house.

Mom says, "We're home."

Chapter 5: Nothing Can Stop Della and Clover Duck

Chapter Text

Mom tries to jump over the gate, but she doesn't even jump half as high as she could on the Moon.

She groans, "Dumb Earth gravity."

I ask, "Why does Earth feel so heavy?"

Mom says, "That's Earth's gravity. It's much stronger than the moon's, so we can't jump as high. I forgot how much of a difference there was." She says, "Hop on my back and hold onto my shoulders. I'm gonna climb the gate." As she keeps climbing, she mutters, "Won't. Keep. Me. From. The kids."

We finally managed to get to the other side of the gate and walk to the door of the giant house.

Mom mutters, "First impression is the only impression. We've gotta nail this." She first goes overdramatic, saying, "Greetings, children!" She groans, then slumps down, saying in a weird voice, "Hellooooooo!" She sighs, then hops out from behind a tall leafy plant in a circular holder, saying, "Oh hey, didn't see you there."

She groans again, and I ask, "Mom, what are you doing?"

She says, "I'm trying to come up with a good greeting. It's gotta be simple. Sincere. It's just the most important moment of my life."

The door suddenly opens, an old duck Mom's height and four ducks my height, three boys and a girl.

Mom nervously turns around, saying, "Sup, party people! I'm back in the hizou- Oh, no. Knew it was wrong as soon as I said it. Sorry, that was terrible. Can I get a do-over? Hi, Uncle Scrooge. Uh..."

The older duck, apparently my great-uncle Scrooge, tackles my mom in a hug, and says in a strange accent, "It's you! It's really you! Oh, I cannae believe it!"

He pulls out of the hug, getting a good look at both of us.

He says, "Oh, look at ya! Oh, standing here!" He laughs, then says, "I thought you were -"

Mom interrupts him, saying, "Dead? Not yet!"

My great-uncle asks, "Where?"

Mom exclaims, "The Moon!"

Scrooge asks, "But- On the Moon?" He then exclaims in an angry voice, "I searched the Moon!"

Mom exclaims, "Not hard enough! There were mites, and aliens, and I had to rebuild the Spear with my tooth!"

Scrooge yells, "Don't raise your voice at me, you rapacious rocketeer!"

Mom laughs, hugging Scrooge again, saying, "I missed your Scroogian alliteration."

His foot touches Mom's metal prosthetic one.

He has a guilty look on his face as Mom says, "Lost it in the crash."

Scrooge exclaims, "Out of rocket parts! Brilliant! Leg or no, you're every bit the woman you were 11 years ago."

Mom grabs my hand, pushing past Scrooge as she says, "Out of my way, old man. Where are my..."

She gasps when we see them.

The boy in blue asks, "Who's the cyborg and the girl?"

The boy in red asks, "Is that...?"

The boy in green says, "It can't be."

The girl says, "Guys, I thinks that's your mom and sister."

Scrooge says, "Huey, Dewey, Louie, meet Della and..."

He looks at me, and I say, "Clover Duck."

The boy in blue dives into a hug with Mom and I, exclaiming, "I'm part robot! I knew it!"

Mom and I hug him back for a moment before I ask, "Wait, Huey, Dewey, and Louie? I thought you were Jet, Turbo, and Rebel."

Mom adds, "That's what their names were supposed to be!"

My blue brother asks, "I could've been Turbo?"

Mom says, "I told Donald. I wrote it down in case no one could understand him."

My blue brother exclaims, "I could've been Turbo?!"

My red brother waves, saying, "Hi, Huey slash Jet here. How did you two survive in a barren wasteland? Have either of you adjusted to our gravity? Did you make any customized modifications to your leg?"

I answer first, "Oxy-Chew, no, and Mom should answer that one."

Mom answers next, "Sheer determination to get back to you, kinda, and no, because as Junior Woodchuck Rule 42 states -"

Huey, Mom, and I say, " 'Build thing right the first time, and they won't need modification'!"

Huey gasps, "You really are my mom and sister!"

He joins in on the hug with my blue brother, who says to my green brother, "Get in here, Rebel!" 

Rebel says, "Nope. I'm not buying it. This has to be a trick or a curse from Magica, or... or..." He starts crying, finally joining the hug, exclaiming, "Mom!"

The girl start crying as well, fanning her face with her hands as she exclaims, "My heart! It's too full!"

Scrooge says, "Let's get some food in ye. You're both probably hungry."

I say, "I don't have any memory of food before Oxy-Chew, so that's probably a good idea."

As Scrooge leads us to another room and sits us down at a table, my blue brother asks, "What does it taste like?"

I respond, "Mom says it's black licorice flavored. She doesn't like it, but I think it tastes pretty good."

Rebel groans, "Ugh, you like black licorice? Gross."

I say, "Well, when it's the only thing you've ever tasted, it's kinda hard not to like it."

Huey asks, "How did you know about the JWG if you were on the Moon your whole life?"

I respond, "Mom ended up bringing it with her on the Spear, and it was the only book to read other than the Owner's Manual. Reading that guidebook over and over was pretty much my only source of Earth knowledge and entertainment when Mom was off fighting the Mite or fixing the Spear."

Now it was my turn to ask questions.

I ask, "So I know Huey's the red one. Who's Dewey and who's Louie?"

My blue brother excitedly says, "I'm Dewey, and he's Louie."

So Rebel is Louie. Got it.

Huey asks, "When were you born?"

I respond, "Uh, I think Mom said it was April 15, 2007 at around 6:18. Why?"

Louie cheers, "Woo hoo! I'm no longer the youngest!"

Huey says, "It sounds like you were born a full minute after Louie. Dewey, Louie, and I were born a few seconds apart from each other. I'm the oldest, then Dewey, Louie, and you."

A/N: I chose April 15 because that was the date Huey, Dewey, and Louie had their first animated debut, 2007 because the show started airing in 2017 and the kids are 10 in season 1, and 6:18 was chosen because it's a recurring number in Gravity Falls, one of my other favorite shows.

After a few minutes, a tall, muscular woman brings out dishes of food and some plates, and my brothers stare in awe at Mom as her and I eat. I spit out my Oxy-Chew in the garbage and dig in. I try some pastas, fruits, vegetables, and seafood, but apparently I don't like seafood. Since I've never eaten before, I try a bit of everything, finding myself going back to the pastas and fruits. Mom keeps eating long after I've stopped, and finishes off all of the dishes.

Dewey says, "Wow. She is amazing!"

Mom rolls a pea off of the last plate as the muscular woman takes it, gulping it down before saying, "And... Now I'm done. Thanks-" She gasps as she looks at the tall woman, exclaiming, "Agent 22?! You're the housekeeper now? Where's Duckworth?"

Agent 22 says, "He's moved on, though sadly not far enough."

A ghost appears, saying, "The underworld has fewer cobwebs to tend to."

Agent 22 throws an empty plate at Duckworth, but it phases through him, smashing on the wall behind him. Duckworth bows, then disappears.

I mutter, "Cool. Ghost butler."

Scrooge says, "You've been gone a while, lass. A lot has changed, especially for your daughter here."

My brothers rushed over to Mom and I, bombarding Mom with questions even faster than they did me.

Dewey asks, "Is it true that parents pick favorites? Which one of us boys is yours?"

Huey asks, "Did you suffer any side effects from the cosmic storm? Ooh, how many fingers am I holding up?"

Louie asks, "Wait, are you guys moving in?"

Dewey says, "Back to favorites. It's old Turbo, right?"

The girl exclaims, "I'm Webby!"

Scrooge ushers my brothers and the girl away, saying, "Alright, that's enough for today. Your mum and sister just be tired... after conquering the Moon!" He laughs, then says, "Just let them rest."

Mom says, "Who can rest when there's so much lost time to make up for? I've got my boys, my daughter, my brother... Wait, where's Donald?"

Webby says, "He's off on a relaxing remote vacation."

Mom says, "Instead of welcoming back his sister and meeting his niece. Must be nice. Boys, I don't know what to say, except I'm so sorry for ever stepping foot on that rocket. I never meant to leave you or miss your first steps or potty-training- Wait, you are potty-trained, right?"

Huey and Louie nod, and Dewey makes a 'sorta' gesture with his hand.

Mom says, "What I'm trying to say is... for a decade, my daughter and I fought every day to get back to this family, and we will fight every day to be a part of it. If you'll have us?"

Louie tries to say, "But I -"

Dewey interrupts him, "Of course. We're a family again."

Mom says, "I missed you so much. You deserve to have the best mom, and I'm going to be the best mom, starting right now. Who wants cake?!"

My brothers and Webby exclaim, "Yeah! Woo hoo!"

Mom exclaims, "To the kitchen!" She runs in one direction, then turns around, saying, "Which is apparently over here now! Did you remodel?"

About an hour later, she come back with three cakes.

She sets them down on the table, saying, "Congratulations Birthday Valentine! Merry Flag Day Just Because! Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Arrrrr-bor Day!"

I ask Huey, "Are those real Earth holidays?"

He responds, "No, but it sounds like she's mixed a few holidays into one."

I say, "Ah. Okay."

Mom says, "I've missed so many life achievements and holidays. I'm gonna make up for them all tonight! I didn't know which one was your favorite, so I made all of them!"

Dewey exclaims, "My favorite dessert is all of them! Good instincts, Mom."

I say, "Thank you, Mom. I'm sure it'll be good."

I take a slice of the Flag Day cake and try it. It's very sweet and soft with a bit of crunch from sprinkles. I like it.

Huey says, "I don't usually have night-time sugars, but since this is all the special occasions..."

He tries a bite of one of the cakes, and his pupils immediately dilated and he starts shaking a little. He exclaims, "You made flan?!"

I assume that's a type of dessert, and Mom says, "Because I'm a flan-tastic mom."

I smile, and Dewey laughs, exclaiming, "Oh my gosh, our mom is hilarious!"

Mom says, "Now it is my honor to present you with a true Della-cacy."

I don't get that one, but Dewey asks, "How does she Dewey it?"

Louie groans, "Oh boy, now there's two of them. Clover, please tell me you don't make awful puns."

I say, "I don't. Half the time, I don't even get Mom's puns."

Mom grabs another cake from behind her with small sparkling fires on it, setting it down on the table as she says, "Behold! My classic firework cake! It's like a regular cake, but it's loaded with fizzy rocks!"

I ask, "What are fizzy rocks?"

Dewey exclaims, "They were candies that fizzed and crackled when you ate them. I haven't seen these in forever!"

Webby says, "That's because after all the lawsuits, the government claimed they were unsafe to eat."

Dewey says, "That sounds like a challenge."

Webby says, "Again, it's incredibly unsafe."

Huey exclaims, "Yeah, do it! Do it! Do it!"

Louie mutters with a half smile, "Every time."

Dewey takes a few bites, saying with his mouth full, "Mom, look! I'm shifting into Turbo!"

His cheeks swell, and a blue stream of fizz bursts from his mouth, pushing him to the ground.

He groans, "Best mother ev- ugh..."

He just lies on the ground, groaning as Huey starts laughing and playing in the fizz.

Mom tries to stay positive, saying, "This is... going so well."

I ask, "Where did you find those fizzy rocks?"

Mom says, "In a cabinet buried behind some baking ingredients."

Dewey throws up on the floor, and Mom picks him up. She carries him upstairs, and Louie leads us to their room.

Dewey says to Mom, "My insides are on fire... with love for my mom!"

Mom groans, setting him down in his bed. My brothers have three beds stacked on top of each other, one for each of them and a ladder to get to the top and middle beds.

My brothers and I sit down next to Dewey on his bed as Mom says, "Hey, I know what'll make that belly feel better. A bedtime story! Because a good mom knows how to soothe her sick kid. Have you boys ever heard the one about the Princess and the Peacock?"

Louie says, "Uh, yeah. A long time ago, I think"

Mom frowns, saying, "Oh... Right. Of course. Guess it is a little baby-ish."

Louie says, "Oh, no, but, um -"

Huey interrupts, "You're never too old for a bedtime story!"

Mom says, "No, Rebel- I mean, Louie is right. You're all grown up now. You're ready for a real-life grown up story, starring yours truly!"

Huey and Louie cheer, "Yeah!"

Dewey burps, and I ask, "Ooh, ooh! Can you tell them my favorite one? Please?"

Mom smirks, going into her story-telling mode, taking on a sinister tone.

She says, "The place? El Dorado. The time? When I was your age. The legend? The horror known as the Guilded Man. The Aztec Android was meant to protect the people, but he blew a fuse and mangled them instead. Metal gnawed against flesh, leaving a trail of bodies until the gold city was stained blood red."

Mom grabbed a marble and a robot toy, using them as props as she continues, "I grabbed a wrench, crawled inside the gold-minted monster, and hacked away at his clockwork innards, tearing him apart from the inside piece by piece with reckless abandon!"

She pretended to wrestle the robot toy, exclaiming, "Wham! He let out a ghastly shriek! Rahhh! Until, finally, his gory gears turned their last. Some say that it was a death knell. Others say it was a promise. To rebuild and seek vengeance on the one who defeated him and her family." She says in her normal voice, "Pretty sure we stuffed him in the garage. Well, goodnight!"

She leaves the room, and I lay down on the bed, getting tired.

I hear Huey say, "Maybe we should leave the lights on. You know, just in case."

I soon fell asleep after that, waking up early the next day. My brothers are still sitting on the bed, looking like Mom when she stays awake too long before finally crashing asleep. I wonder why they couldn't sleep. Without Oxy-Chew, I start to feel hungry. It's kind of a weird feeling. I go to the kitchen, and I see Agent 22 making food.

I say, "Hello, Agent 22. Good morning."

She turns around, saying, "Please don't call me that, dear. I haven't been an agent in more than a decade. My name is Bentina Beakley, but you may call me Mrs. Beakley."

I say, "Okay, Mrs. Beakley. What are you making? It smells good."

She places the finished food on a plate, saying, "I was making some pancakes for myself. I usually get up much earlier than everyone else. Would you like some, dear?" 

I smile, saying, "Yes, please. Thank you."

She smiles, mixing more pancake batter. She gives me the ones she already cooked, putting some butter and syrup of them. They're sweet, and the butter gives them a bit of a savory taste.

I say after a few bites, "They're so good!"

Mrs. Beakley smiles, saying, "You remind me of my granddaughter, Webby."

I ask, "How come?"

Mrs. Beakley says, "She has such a zest for life and a curiosity for everything. I think the two of you would make good friends, Clover."

I smile, finishing the rest of my pancakes. As I put my dishes in the sink, I hear a loud sound coming from the next room. I head over to it, finding Mom holding a canister that's making the noise.

The noise finally stops, and Mom asks, "Can you believe Scrooge didn't want me to have these?"

Huey shouts, "What?!"

Mom grabs four canisters from a set of armor as she says, "I know, right? Thankfully, I hid a whole case in my old secret stash. Customized them just for you! Heads up!"

She tosses one to each of us, Louie's bouncing off of his head, Dewey's sailing over his head, and Huey and I catch ours.

Mom grabs the shield from the set of armor, saying, "First order of business, shredding the gnar', because a good mom knows how to spice up the ordinary. Observe."

She slides down the stairs railing on the shield, flipping in the air before landing, then runs back up the stairs toward us with the shield.

Dewey exclaims, "She is the best person alive!"

Mom asks, "Who wants to go first?"

Dewey excitedly raises his hand, jumping up and down before gagging.

Mom says, "Maybe sit this round out, Turbo. Jet? Uh, I mean, Huey. Sorry, I'll get it."

I say, "I'll try. It doesn't seem so hard."

I slide down the railing, trying to do the flip, but land on my butt. I groan as I get up, handing the shield to Huey.

He starts putting on elbow and knee pads, shouting, "Junior Woodchuck Rule 84!"

Mom and I recite the rule, "'Safety doesn't happen by accident'!"

Mom puts a safety helmet on him, explaining how to do the trick so he wouldn't fall like I did, but it looks like he's spacing out.

She finishes, "If you do that last part exactly right, you won't die! Ready?"

Huey nervously responds, "Uh huh?"

Louie says, "Oh, this oughta be rich."

He runs to the bottom of the stairs, pulling out a rectangular device, aiming it at Huey.

Huey starts the trick, but falls off of the railing and slides after Louie, who says, "Don't make me run!"

Huey slips and falls on top of Louie, the shield flying around the room before Mrs. Beakley catches it.

Huey shouts, "I flew too close to the sun!"

Mom says, "You did great! And I bet you'll scream way less next time."

Mrs. Beakley angrily asks, "Whose is this?"

Mom nervously says, "Oh, um... Well, that's my -"

Dewey cuts in, "Son's shield."

Huey loudly says, "Sons's shield. Plural possessive because it's all of ours. We three share the blame."

Louie shrugs, saying, "Triplets, am I right?"

Huey says, "It's quadruplets now."

Louie shrugs, and Mom says, "Here, Mrs. B. Let us help you."

Dewey says, "I'll go get a broom."

He gags, and I add, "And I'll get a bucket."

Mrs. Beakley says, "Boys, Clover, to your rooms. I'll handle this. After all, I'm used to cleaning up after children, dear."

I say, "But I don't really have a room. Where do I go?"

Huey says, "You're our sister. You can stay with us."

I smile, following my brothers to their- I guess, our room. I don't miss Louie's smile fading at Huey's words, though. Does he not want me to bunk with them? Mom's always told me how perceptive I can be, but sometimes it can be a curse. Sometimes I see something that's not there because I overthink some things. Maybe Louie does want me to bunk with them, but he's upset about something else. But then, what would he be upset about? Maybe I am overthinking this. Maybe he's not upset at all.

I can't really know without asking him, but how would I even bring that up? I shake it off, deciding to ask later. It turns out, I wouldn't need to bring it up. Soon after my brothers and I got set up in our room and they set out an extra mattress for me, Scrooge called for a family meeting, but asked me to stay in the room. After a while, I decided to wander around the house. I heard faint talking coming from a nearby room, and walked over to it.

The door was slightly open, and I heard Mrs. Beakley quietly say, "I'm sorry, Mr. McDuck, but I think Della and Clover are struggling to adjust to this new life."

Mom stomped by, stopping when she heard Mrs. Beakley. I held a finger to my beak, and she nodded, now also listening in.

Scrooge says, "Come now, Beakley. They've only just arrived, and Clover's never been on Earth before. Everything's new to her."

Dewey says, "So Mom's not the best with cooking or age-appropriate stories or child endangerment, but nobody's perfect."

Huey shouts, "She's trying, and that's what matters! Junior Woodchuck Rule 3! 'No matter how hard things get, never give up on a fellow Woodchuck'! Sorry, I still can't hear that great. Also, they're our mom and sister!" I smile at Mom, and she smiles back until Huey asks, "Right, Louie?"

Dewey adds, "Right?"

I see Louie's face fall as he says, "Well... Hey, don't get me wrong! Of course I'm happy to have Clover and Mom back."

Dewey asks, "But...?"

Louie says, "But, I don't know... It's probably my fault. I've gone for so long without a mom and sister, I guess I don't really know how to have them? I -" 

Scrooge says, "That's because she's not a mom."

Mom gasps, running away with tears in her eyes.

I chase after her, saying, "Mom, he probably didn't mean it in that way, or -"

Mom wipes a tear away, saying, "It doesnt matter. He said what he said, and meant what he said."

I follow after her, and we end up in a big room that I assume is the garage since I see the Gilded Man.

Mom wipes her tears away as she leans against the Gilded Man, saying, "We were gone for a decade, and everyone was fine. I'm home for ten hours, and now my kids are all sick, injured, and terrified, you included. You got hurt doing that stunt!" 

I say, "I'm fine, Mom, really. It didn't hurt that bad."

Mom says, "I miss fighting monsters. Those guys make it easy to know what to do. I fought you, Gilded Man. And Moon Mites, and the abyss of space, and every last odd to get my daughter and I back to my kids, and... I'm blowing it." Mom gets angry, punching the Gilded Man, exclaiming, "Who do I have to fight to be a part of this family?!"

The Gilded Man starts glowing and moving, coming alive. Mom and I say in unison, "Aw, phooey."

Mom nervously says, "Hey, listen. So, I know you're all about seeking revenge against the entire family of the person who destroyed you, but any chance you'd seek a truce?" The Gilded Man swipes at her, and she says, "Fine, you want a fight? You got one! Clover, get to safety."

I run out of the room, bumping into Scrooge in the hall.

He asks, "Clover? What are you doing out here? I thought I told you to stay in your room."

I say, "Long story, but Mom's fighting the Gilded Man in the garage! He just suddenly came back to life!"

Scrooge exclaims, "What?! Show me."

I follow him as he runs back to the garage, and I hear Mom shout, "Nothing can stop Della Duck!"

Scrooge shouts, "What is Dismal Downs is going on in here?!" Mom looks at him, and the Gilded Man is distracted for a moment as he mutters, "I really need to start locking this door."

Mom says, "Don't worry, Uncle Scrooge! I've got everything under control!" She started searching through piles in the garage, asking, "Where's the Deus Excaliber? Or the Ferryman's Flame? Or -"

Scrooge says, "We kinda, sorta, used all that stuff already." Mom groans, and he exclaims, "Come on, you golden geared gargantuan!"

A vehicle starts making a loud noise, startling both me and the Gilded Man as it screeches in pain.

Scrooge pulls Mom and I behind a giant, round coin, and Mom says, "Okay, here's the plan. I'll stall him. Clover, you go get your brothers so they can see me save them from this monster and prove I'm a good mom!"

Scrooge pulls a small key-shaped device and presses a button, making the vehicle stop making noise.

He asks, "What idiot said you weren't a good mom?"

I confusedly say, "You did, like, five minutes ago."

Scrooge says, "Oh... Lasses, you've only been here for a day. You cannae force a relationship with your family just through monster fighting!"

I ask, "Why not? Mom and I have fought monsters together my whole life."

Mom says, "You're right. We should probably go treasure hunting, too."

The Gilded Man bursts through the wall and outside, and I hear Huey scream, "Out nightmares are real!"

The Gilded Man tries to grab a sword from a pedestal, but it doesn't come out.

Mrs. Beakley exclaims, "Ha! Only the one true King of England can wield that sword!"

The Gilded Man tears the entire pedestal out of the ground with the sword, hitting Mrs. Beakley with it.

She collapses, knocked out, and Webby exclaims, "Granny!" She growls, "You just knocked out the wrong old lady!"

Dewey exclaims, "Mom?! Clover?!"

Mom climbs up the Gilded Man, saying, "Hi, kids! I'm saving you! Time to take this robotic recluse down from the inside!" She tries climbing in, but gets stuck, saying, "Aw, come on! Why isn't this working? It worked before!"

Scrooge says, "That was ages ago! You've grown. Things are different now!"

Dewey accidentally activated his canister, then says, "Hey, it worked!"

I gasp, exclaiming, "It hates noise!"

Louie says, "I've got a really loud idea. Huey, get some tape!" Huey runs off, coming back with an adhesive strip.

Louie joins our canisters together with the spouts pointing out, and Dewey exclaims, "Mom, catch!"

He tosses the canisters to Mom, and she places them in the Gilded Man, activating them with her foot. The Gilded Man starts falling apart and falling near Louie.

Mom yells, "Louie! Look out!"

She finally escapes from the Gilded Man just before it's giant hand lands on them.

I run over to them, exclaiming, "Louie! Mom!"

I pull a giant finger out of the way as the dust clears, showing that they're out of danger.

Louie says, "Thanks, Mom."

Everyone else gathers around us, and Mom says, "Hey, guys."

Webby asks, "How did you get free?!"

Scrooge walks over, carrying Mom's metal leg, saying, "Good parenting is about coping with change and adapting to unforseen challenges. She adapted! One day in, and you're learning already."

I help Mom put her leg back on as she says, "Huey, Dewey, Louie, I know you're not used to having a mom, and I am not used to being one, but I'll figure it out as we go along."

Louie smiles, saying, "We all will."

I hug Mom, saying, "I think you're a pretty great mom already. After all, you raised me."

Mom pulls me up, holding me like she did when I was little, and I hold onto her neck for stability.

She asks, "So what do you guys want to do?"

Huey exclaims, "Go find a treasure!"

Webby exclaims, "Discover a hidden temple!"

I say, "Defeat giant monsters!"

Dewey exclaims, "Anything! Everything!"

Mom says, "Well, let's get started!" Everyone cheers, and Mom chuckles, saying, "Man, Donald sure is missing out on some quality family bonding."

Scrooge says, "Let him have his vacation. He deserves it."

I say, "I can't wait to meet him."

Chapter 6: Raiders of the Doomsday Vault

Chapter Text

Scrooge told us about some kind of venture he wanted to go on, and wanted Mom to fly his plane. It's kind of like a rocket that can't leave the atmosphere. Mom invited Dewey and I to go with her, and he sat in the copilot seat and I sat on Mom's lap like we did when we finally left the Moon in the Spear of Selene.

Mom says to the plane, "I missed you, girl. The Cloudslayer flies again!"

Dewey exclaims, "Cloudslayer? That is way better than the Sunchaser!"

I ask, "Why would Huey and Louie wanna miss this? This is fun!"

Scrooge gags behind us, saying, "I think I may have an idea."

Dewey says, "Their loss. Dewey, Della, and Clover Duck on their first high-flying adventure!"

I exclaim, "Yeah! My first real Earth adventure!"

Scrooge corrects, "Not adventure, business venture. We're headed to Boarway, home of the Von Drake Doomsday Vault."

Mom, Dewey, and I excitedly say, "Ooooh!"

Scrooge explains, "A sterile seed depository."

Mom, Dewey, and I say, "Aw."

Scrooge continues, "My old colleague Ludwig Von Drake collected millions of seeds for safe-keeping in case of apocalypse. Unfortunately, the vault's been damaged by melting permafrost. We must convince the owners to hire McDuck Bin Securities to fix it. If we get there in one piece."

Mom says, "Please, Uncle Scrooge. I've been flying since before Donald could walk."

I add, "Yeah! My mom is the best pilot in the world!"

Scrooge says, "Ach, fine. You know what to do." We land, and Scrooge says as we step out of the plane, "Now, all that stands between me and that contract is -"

A short, grey bearded duck exclaims, "Flintheart Glomgold!" I assume that's his name, and he makes sounds that somewhat imitate lightning while laughing, "Lightning!"

An owl taller than Mom says, "I cut his dramatic entrance budget."

I ask, "So I assume he's a rival?"

Scrooge groans, "Yes, and a particularly annoying one at that. He's not even that dangerous. Most of his cockamamie schemes hurt him more than me."

Glomgold exclaims, "Hey!"

The owl pulls him away into the building, and we follow soon after, with Scrooge giving a presentation to the Von Drakes while Glomgold sleeps.

He says, "The noble seed. Our hope for a better tomorrow. Carefully tended, a seed will sprout with promise. That's what your father Ludwig wanted for you. What any parent wants for their child, really. To see them thrive in the face of an uncertain tomorrow."

When he said that, Mom smiled at me before ruffling my hair, resting her hand on my shoulder.

Scrooge continues, "In that vault lies everything the world needs to survive a doomsday scenario. Food, water, shelter, poison darts, vampire antitoxin, and the fabled Money Tree of Oraum Araus."

Mom, Dewey, and I exclaim, "Ooooh!"

Glomgold shoots awake, exclaiming, "Money Tree?! Owlson, why didn't you tell me there was a Money Tree?!"

The owl, I think Owlson, deadpans, "It was one of several points in the presentation I made for you, which I'm just now realizing you didn't read. Great."

Scrooge says, "The Money Tree is the most venerated of vegetation. To gaze upon even its seed is to know the true meaning of wonder. I swear to lock them up so tight that nothing will ever touch those seeds until the end of the world."

Mom, Dewey, and I run back to the plane upon hearing that, all of us saying in unison, "We've gotta see those Money Tree seeds before Scrooge locks them up forever! Jinx! Double jinx! Triple jinx!"

Mom stops, saying, "My kids literally running toward adventure. I've never been more proud than this moment. Race you to the Cloudslayer!"

Dewey and I run faster, and I just barely manage to get there first, climbing into the copilot seat. Dewey groans, and I stick my tongue out at him before he squeezes into the seat with me, sticking his tongue out at me. We take off, and Mom turns on the radio. It's one of the few things on the rocket that worked, and even then it only worked every once in a while. It was enough for me, though.

We all start singing together, "To stand out above the crowd, even if I gotta shout out loud. 'Til mine is the only face that you see, I gotta staaaand out 'til you notice me."

Mom exclaims, "Nailed it!"

She ruffles Dewey's hair, and he playfully says, "Mom, stop!" She stops, and she says, "No, I'm just kidding. Keep going."

Mom says to him, "When we were stuck on the Moon, all I thought about was teaching you how to adventure. Well, that and avoiding horrifying Moon monsters. But you're already a natural at this!"

Dewey says, "Rodger dodger, as the crow flies. Co-pilot to pilot, we're a-go for, um, flying, I guess?"

Mom says, "Co-pilot? No way. You're pilot material, buddy! Clover, you wanna try?"

I shrug, saying, "No thanks. I'm good."

She smiles, saying to Dewey, "Take the stick!"

He asks, "Me? Fly the Sunchas- I mean, Cloudslayer? Scrooge won't even let me touch the toaster."

Mom says, "You're my kid. You can do anything."

I say, "Yeah! You'll do great!"

He exclaims, "You are the best mom and sister!"

I climb out of the seat as he grabs the steering wheel, and Mom guides him.

She calmly says, "Now, close your eyes. Feel the sky."

He says, "I'm doing it. I'm Dewey-ing it!" We scream as the plane nosedives, landing in snow. Dewey says, "I... am... so sorry."

I exclaim, "For what?! That was awesome!"

Mom adds, "That was a perfect first try! I'm so proud of you, Dewey! To adventure!"

I exclaim, "To adventure!"

We find a cave with a slick, slippery, icy ground, and a split path. One looks safe and clear, the other is filled with stalactites and stalagmites.

Mom asks, "So, you wanna do this the easy way, or the fun way?"

Dewey exclaims, "I am offended you had to ask!"

I dive down the fun way, laughing the whole way down as they follow after me, avoiding stalactites and stalagmites along the way.

Mom exclaims, "Money Tree seed, here we come!"

Dewey laughs, "I can't stop laughing!"

We keep going, and come across a large crevice with a broken, ice-covered bridge.

Dewey walks onto the bridge, saying, "Pretty weird way to build a bridge."

Mom says, "Dewey, honey, I don't think they built it with a big hole in it. It must have been torn apart when the ice melted and this crevice widened."

I take a running leap across, landing on the other side with my arms straight out at my sides.

Mom exclaims, "Yeah! Way to go, Clover!"

She does the same, Dewey just after her.

Once we get inside the building, a monitor lights up, an old duck appearing on it, saying, "Welcome, survivors! If you're here, the world has ended. So sad. But congratulations on not being eaten by zombies or hyper-intelligent apes or something like that."

I say, "That's... oddly specific."

The duck continues eccentrically, "Now, don't worry, because I, Ludwig Von Drake, have prepared for every possible threat!"

Mom scoffs, "Except climate change, apparently."

I fist bump her, and Ludwig continues, "Now then, you are gonna see a color pad next to the door. I thought the apocalypse might be brought about by werewolves. You know, they're very smart with the numbers, but they's extremely color blind. Now, the password is very simple. It's, uh... Oy, hold on. Where is that...?" He rummages around before finally pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket, saying, "That's right!" He sings, "Red, yellow, green, red, blue, blue, blue, red, purple, green, yellow, orange, red, red."

Mom presses the first button, but it doesn't move.

She punches the wall next to the color pad, exclaiming, "Ah! Stupid frozen buttons! Buzz-kill barricade! This blows chunks!"

Dewey points at a vent, exclaiming, 'Hey, a vent!"

Mom says, "Uh, I don't think I could fit through there. Oh, but you two could! Crawl through and let me in!"

I say, "On it."

Mom helps Dewey first into the vent, then me.

He exclaims, "Alley-Dew-p!"

I say, "See ya on the other side, Mom!"

Dewey exclaims, "Miss you already!" As we climb, he sings, "Gonna crawl through this vent, gonna make my mom proud. Gonna earn the love I want so Dew-speretely."

We hear Mom's muffled voice ask, "What was that, honey?"

I roll my eyes, saying, "It's nothing, Mom."

Dewey hops out, landing on his face before pulling himself up, singing, "Perfect recovery, no one heard that."

I hope out, saying, "I did. Wish I didn't, but I did."

Mom asks, "Is everything alright? There may be some kind of trigger or electrical panel."

Dewey pulls it open, saying, "Yup. I've got this."

Mom says, "Whatever you do, don't touch it."

Since Dewey already touched it, it activated a trap.

The ceiling starts to lower in the room Mom's in as we all say, "Aw, phooey."

Mom says, "Okay. Dewey, Clover, override the security system!"

Dewey says, "Sure. Easy-peasy, lemon squeeze -"

The wires are all tangled together in different colors, and I groan, "Oh no."

Ludwig appears on the monitor above the panel, saying, "Right. If you were smart enough to survive the apocalypse, you should be able to deduce which wire will deactivate the trap. Otherwise, anyone in that room goes squish. Good luck!"

As the ceiling starts lowering so much Mom has to hold it above her, she says, "You got this, honey! You can do anything you put your mind to!"

Dewey mutters, "Way to go, Dewford. Your first adventure with your mom and you're gonna get her killed!"

I exclaim, "Dewey, focus! You can dwell on this later!"

Ludwig counts down, "You have the ten, the nine, you got your eight over there, coming up on... seven! Six, five, four..."

Dewey starts looking at the different colors of wires, saying, "Red? No. Purple? No. Chartreuse?"

I exclaim, "Just pick a wire!"

Ludwig says, "Watch out, now! Here comes two! Hope you got this figured out, because here come the... one!"

Mom says, "No rush, honey! You're doin' great!"

Ludwig says in a sing-song voice, "One quarter, one eighth..."

Dewey exclaims, "Not helping!"

I yell, "Just pick one! Ugh, we don't have time for this!"

I yank out all of the wires, making the trap deactivate and open the door.

Ludwig says, "See? Now, that wasn't hard at all."

When I see Mom, I exclaim, "You're alive? Oh, you're alive!"

I jump into Mom's arms in a hug as she exclaims, "Woo! I was inches from death, terrified, then boom! You pulled them out at the last second for maximum tension!"

Dewey says, "Uh huh?"

Mom dramatically asks, "What else will Dewey, Della, and Clover conquer together in the forbidden Vault? Escaped lab experiments? Bacteria that will strip the very flesh from our bones? Let's find out!"

Dewey unconfidently says, "Yeah. Let's Dewey it."

We head off further into the Vault, going down an elevator to find a large room with tubes of green goo and thousands of drawers on the walls.

Ludwig says, "Welcome to my Doomsday Seed Vault."

Dewey exclaims, "Cool!"

I awe, "Oh, wow!"

Ludwig explains, "Encompassing the entirety of plant life on this planet, including some very rare and mythological plants. I have treated each and every seed with my Von Drake Super Growth Formula- patent pending- so you don't starve while you're waiting for your crops to grow. It will cause them to grow at immense rates." Large vines appear on the monitor behind him, and he wrestles with them, saying, "Hey, hey! I wouldn't plant them within a mile of each other, for safety reasons."

Dewey asks, "So which one of these boxes are the Money Tree seeds?"

Mom types 'Money Tree' into the computer, the drawers light up in a path to one specific drawer, and Mom says, "Right... there." The path of lights stop on one drawer, and Mom starts moving a giant mechanical arm, saying, "Boy, it's a good thing we've got this giant arm to help out." The arm shorts out, crashing into one of the tubes of green goo. Mom punches the computer, exclaiming, "Aw, phooey! Come on, ya worthless hunk of junk! Ow! Sorry, kids. Looks like we came all this way for nothing. So much for our first great adventure."

Dewey climbs into the mechanical arm, exclaiming to me, "If I don't make it, tell our brothers I was the best one!"

He jumps from the arm to the drawers, climbing them to the one that's lit up.

Mom exclaims, "Yeah! Okay, just boulder up those lockers like a rock wall, then, once you have a seed, base-jump back to the platform, and -"

I exclaim, "Are you crazy, Dewey?!"

Dewey responds, "Crazy is my middle name!"

Mom asks, "Are you sure?"

Dewey says, "No, it's... it's actually Dingus."

I say, "Ew, really? Mine is Selene."

Mom says, "No, I mean, it's pretty dangerous. I can do this part if you want."

Dewey says, "Mom, relax. I'm your son. I can Dewey it! I can do anything! Just like you told me!"

Mom nervously chuckles, saying, "Of course you can, my little hero!"

Dewey finally makes it to the lit up drawer, exclaiming, "I made it!"

I exclaim, "Yeah! You did it!"

Mom exclaims, "Of course you did!"

Dewey opens the drawer, saying, "So beautiful. So worth it."

Mom exclaims, 'I knew you could -"

The drawer falls from Dewey's weight, making the seeds spill all the way down to the ground.

Dewey says, "Oops."

The Money Tree starts growing rapidly, and I ask, "Dewey, are you okay?"

He exclaims, "I got this, guys! Totally under control! Do not worry!"

Scrooge and Glomgold enter the room behind us, and Scrooge exclaims, "Kids! Oh, they were after the tree. That makes sense."

Glomgold gasps, angrily exclaiming, "You were running a counter-scheme this whole time?! Send your family ahead while you slow down old Glommy, eh? That's my -"

Scrooge exclaims, "I don't care about the stupid tree! My family is in danger!"

Glomgold pulls him back, a chain connecting their wrists, and he exclaims, "When you abduct me, you can decide what's important!"

Mom climbs onto the mechanical arm, and I hold onto her back like a backpack.

She says to Dewey, "Okay, just get some momentum going, then swing yourself onto the nearest branch. You can do it!"

Dewey starts tearing up, exclaiming, "I can't! I can't do it!" He loses grip, falling down as he exclaims, "Moooooom!"

Mom jumps and catches him, holding him close as she says, "I got you. I've always got you."

Scrooge, now free of the shackle, exclaims, "And you three!"

Mom says, "Uncle Scrooge, I can explain."

He reprimands, "Explain what?! That you stole my plane?! Put us all in danger?! Oh, and destroyed humanity's only hope for surviving the end of the world?! Did you ever think of how you were gonna get out of this?! Hmm?!"

Mom says, "Simple. We jump."

Scrooge exclaims, "Oh, no you don't! No more jumping headfirst into -"

Mom interrupts him, saying, "Trust me. We can do this." She says to Dewey and I, "I got you." She exclaims, "Now!" We slide down the Money Tree to the ground, and Mom points at a door, saying, "I thought we'd leave through here."

Scrooge asks, "How did you...?"

Mom responds, "What? You gave a whole presentation with a map. I paid attention. When you're stuck in space for eleven years, you pay attention to exit strategies."

Dewey curls up on the floor, still crying.

I ask, "Dewey? What's wrong?"

He says through tears, "I'm sorry, Mom. I let you down. I'm not the adventurer you hoped I'd be."

Mom reassures, "No, honey. I will always believe you can do anything, but you never have to prove anything to me. Neither of you."

Scrooge sighs, asking, 'How am I gonna fix this?"

Glomgold gloats, "You cannae! You failed, McDuck! Now the Von Drake's are going to fire you, give me the job, and then -"

Mom interrupts him, saying, "I may have a way out of this."

She finds a saw, and starts cutting down the Money Tree for it's gold, using it to weld the metal back together.

Mom says, "I learned a lot about welding gold on the Moon."

Scrooge says, "It's a right bonny bin. And since the gold came from the Money Tree, you've saved me millions in construction costs."

Dewey says, "And we harvested enough seeds to double what they had in -" He gasps, nearly dropping the seeds before handing them to Scrooge, saying, "I'm just gonna let someone else put these seeds back."

I say, "That would probably be for the best."

Chapter 7: Friendship Hates Magic

Chapter Text

Clover's New Outfit

A few days ago, Webby told me about her friend Lena, who was the embodied shadow of that evil lady, Magica, but Lena was good and sacrificed herself to save Webby and my brothers, ending up vanished in the Shadow Rhelm. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what she said. She rambled a lot and spoke very quickly when she told me about Lena.

She decided to take me with her to a library today to check out a new book, and show me around. I've never been to a library, but it seems to be a place filled with all kinds of books. It'd be nice to read something other than the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook for once. We hop off the bus, and I swear I see eyes in Webby's shadow for a split second before we head inside the library.

Webby waves at an adult in a guard uniform as we pass him, saying, "Morning Ralph. It's me, Webby! This is my friend, Clover. She's from the Moon!"

He rolls his eyes like he didn't believe her, and we continue. She swipes a card into a slot twice, first backwards, then forwards, and she continues into the Supernatural section as I go to the Realistic Fiction section. After a while of wandering around, I pick out a few books and find my way over to a librarian.

She looks dead inside as she scans the books, then asks, "Do you have a library card?"

I say, "Uh, no. This is my first time in a library. I'm here with my friend Webby."

The librarian rolls her eyes at the name, saying, "Ugh, I know her. Just go. I'll put them on her card."

I smile, grabbing my books.

I say, "Thank you! Have a good day!"

She shushes me as I walk away, and I wait just outside the Supernatural section.

After a moment, Webby comes barrelling toward me, exclaiming, "I have a new friend who speaks Old Norse, and she's coming to the mansion tonight for a sleepover!"

I say, "Woah, calm down, Webby. What's a sleepover, and what's Old Norse?"

She responds, "Oh yeah, I forget you don't know a lot of this stuff. A sleepover is where a friend spends the night at your house and you hang out all night, and Old Norse is a nearly dead language. Ooh, this is gonna be your first sleepover, Clover! Let's go tell my Granny!"

She grabs my arm and starts running toward the library's exit doors, excitedly waving goodbye to Ralph. As soon as we get back to the mansion, Webby finally lets go of my arm. She has a strong grip! She bursts into the kitchen to talk to Mrs. Beakley, and I go upstairs to set my books down on my nightstand. Uncle Scrooge gave me my own room next to my brothers' when he found out I was just sleeping on a mattress on the floor in their room.

A whole room just to myself! He even let me paint the walls green! My favorite color! Mom's face lit up when she saw my cool new room. She's even started buying me some green clothes to match. I'm wearing some of my new clothes for the first time today. The only fabric we had on the Moon was lavender, denim blue, and browns from the old sheets and blankets for the bed, and Mom reused them to make clothes for me as I grew up.

Suddenly, Webby burst into my room, worriedly exclaiming, "You have to help me hide my magic stuff before Violet gets here! This has to be the most normal sleepover ever!"

I confusedly ask, "Uh, why?"

She exclaims, "All my previous sleepovers with Lena were full of mystical peril and they all led to me to losing her in the Shadow Rhelm! I can't lose another friend like that."

I hug her, and she seems to calm down a bit as I say, "Okay. I'll help. Where should we start?"

We start cleaning out her room, shoving all of her mystical items into boxes and hiding them in her room's attic.

Once the last box is hidden, she wipes her brow, saying, "Perfect. Nothing weird here." The doorbell rings, and she shouts, "Duckworth, can you get that? Wait, ghost butler! Ah!"

She starts running to the door, and straight through Duckworth.

She apologizes, "Sorry, Duckworth!"

She glares at her as he disappears into the ceiling, and I open the door.

Panting, Webby says to a purple hummingbird girl, "Whew, big house. I run... everywhere. Violet, hello!"

I say, "I'm Clover. I live here too now, with my brothers. It's my Uncle Scrooge's house."

Violet holds up a dessert, saying, "I brought pie."

Webby exclaims, "A pie! How normal. Come in!"

We started giving Violet a tour, and she asks me, "What did you mean earlier when you said you live here 'now'? From what I've heard, your brothers have lived here for over a year. That's not exactly new."

I say, "I grew up on the Moon with my mom. We didn't get back to Earth until a few weeks ago."

Violet raises a curious eyebrow, and Webby nervously laughs, changing the subject, "And this is my room!"

She opens the door, and Violet says, "Clean. Spartan. I like it. Now, to business. I was just about to dip my toe into the thrilling world of Tulpas."

Webby and I ask in unison, "Tulpas?"

Violet takes a book out, showing us pages as she explains, "Tulpas are manifestations of powerful emotions; hatred, jealousy, greed. They live in a dark rhelm adjacent to our reality. It's the closest thing I found in my research to explain what happened the night the shadows attacked Duckburg, and I -"

Webby interrupts her, holding up a game box as she exclaims, "Who likes Baggle?!"

Violet confusedly says, "Everyone? But I thought I was here to review the book with you."

Webby says, "Oh, we have plenty of time for that. Plus, Clover's never played a lot of games. It's a sleepover, so, uh, let's start with some icebreakers to get to know each other."

Violet says, "Okay, I'll go first. What do you know about Magica DeSpell and the shadow war?"

I say, "Not much. I'm just thankful I wasn't on Earth for that, heh. What about you, Webby?"

Instead of answering, Webby exclaims, "Makeovers!"

Violet says, "For a girl clearly versed in the supernatural, you are oddly nervous about it."

Webby says, "But I'm not nervous about sparkles! Normal night!"

We head into the bathroom, finding some of Webby's Halloween makeup. Mom said Halloween is a holiday where you dress up as something scary. It sounds fun! I use the makeup to look like Penumbra, Violet puts on a mask and fake teeth to look like a demon, and Webby made her face look like it was melting.

Once we're all done, Webby exclaims, "I look amazing! I love wearing makeup!"

Violet says, "The splayed dermis is a nice touch. Clover, what are you attempting to imitate? It's unfamiliar to me."

I say, "I made myself look like Penumbra, my mom's Moon friend that we met a few weeks before leaving. She's kinda scary, but I think she means well."

Violet pulls her mask and fake teeth off, saying, "This was fun. Moving on."

I start wiping off my makeup, and Webby exclaims, "Aw, but you look exactly like the demon Rakshasa!"

Violet says, "Hm, the fangs seem off-kilter."

Webby says while wiping her makeup off, "Oh, he has one crooked fang from a poker brawl. I have proof."

She gasps, and Violet asks, "You do? Where?"

Webby exclaims, "Definitely not the attic!"

Violet runs off to Webby's room, and we chase after her, exclaiming, "Wait!"

We rush after Violet, finding her in the attic holding a photo of a purple demon with a crooked fang.

She says, "'To Webby: Stay gold, Rakky'. The fang is indeed crooked."

Webby nervously asks, "Is all this stuff weirding you out?"

Violet responds, "On the contrary. This is all fascinating, and I'm detecting a strong ectoplasmic aura coming from..." She glances at Webby's bracelet, asking, "Is this some kind of friendship bracelet?"

I feel a cool breeze blow by me for a second before Webby responds, "Uh, that's nothing. Let's play a game instead."

Violet holds up a drawstring bag, asking, "Using ancient Demogorgan runes to contact shadow spirits?"

Webby asks, "Baggle?"

Violet asks, "Rune Baggle?"

Webby says, "Deal."

As they start setting up the game, I ask, "Did either of you feel a slight cool breeze when you were talking about the bracelet?"

Webby says, "What? No."

Violet adds, "Not to my knowledge."

I say, "Huh. Weird. Anyway, how do you play this game?"

Webby says, "Well, for normal Baggle, you have dice that have different letters on them, and you place them randomly across the board and try to spell words with the letters on the board. The player with the most words wins."

Violet adds, "Rune Baggle should work the same way, but with runes instead of letters."

I say, "Well, I don't know any runes, so I guess I'll just watch."

Violet starts humming a dark tune once the board is set up, then says, "I'm awakening the vibrations of the shadow spirits." Webby and I join in humming the tune, closing our eyes as Violet says, "Shadows of the dark rhelm, find favor with my call. Make your presence known, great spirits one and all."

We scream in shock as the runes are tossed across the room, spilling to the floor along with the rest of the runes in Violet's drawstring bag, and I feel that familiar cool breeze again.

I ask, "Did you guys feel it that time?"

Webby nervously says, "Uh, that could have been anything. The wind, or the house settling -"

The runes start moving on the ground, and I exclaim, "Or shadow spirits!"

Violet says, "Communication from the other rhelm."

I ask, "What does it say?"

Violet points to one shape, saying, "It's Elder Futhark. 'Thunder trots'. A reference to the four horsemen of the apocalypse, perhaps?"

Webby says, "Oh, I also see 'rodent truths'. Ooh, what secrets are the mice hiding?"

I say, "Really? I just see an 'r'."

Violet says, "We need more clarity."

We hum the tune again, and we stop as we see a bed sheet start moving, pointing at Violet.

Webby gasps, "We've summoned an evil spirit! Ugh, why do all my slumber parties end in supernatural vengeance?"

Violet grabs an amulet out of her bag, shooting a beam of magic from it at the moving sheets, revealing a teen duck girl.

She exclaims, "Webby!"

She disappears right after, and Webby exclaims, "Lena?!"

We look at Violet, who's panting with a smile on her face.

I ask, "Violet? What did you do? Where did you get that?"

Webby tackles Violet, holding the amulet over her as she growls, "Slumber party's over. Start talking. Now! I'm gonna need answers, or I'm going to knock you into the Shadow Rhelm the hard way."

Violet sighs, explaining, "I found it on the beach. All my life, I've been rational, never giving things like magic a second thought. But when the shadow war happened, it jolted something in me, opened my eyes. There is a world beyond textbooks and rational truths, one I'm compelled to know more about. Have you ever felt like you were living a sheltered life, but there was something incredible just out of reach?"

I say, "Of course I understand. That's exactly what is was for me, growing up on the Moon with just my mom for company. Trust me, I understand exactly how you feel."

Webby gets off of Violet, saying, "You shouldn't mess with that amulet. I already lost one friend to the Shadow Rhelm."

Violet asks, "Hm... Lena, yes? What if I can bring her back?"

Webby and I ask, "What?"

Violet explains, "If Lena was banished back into the Shadow Rhelm as you say, then perhaps, using Magica's amulet, we might be able to harness those powers and pull Lena back home."

I smile as Webby says, "Let's crack open the Shadow Rhelm and get my friend back."

We sit in a circle on the floor, lit candles between us to complete the circle with the amulet in the center.

We join hands, humming again as Violet says, "Conjure your forces now. Rise and speak to me!"

All of a sudden, an invisible force yanks mine and Webby's joined hands, and we're all pulled into a dark rhelm that looks very similar to ours.

Lena nervously says, "Uh, hi?"

Webby exclaims, "Lena!"

As they hug, Violet says, "I hate to break up this heart-warming reunion, but these Tulpas are edging closer."

Webby says, "Ah, where are my manners? Lena, this is -"

Lena points accusatorially at Violet, exclaiming, "I know who she is. A spy! A thief! A second-rate knock-off of me! Get away from Webby. She's mine!"

The Tulpas change to look like Lena and grab Webby. She screams, and we run after her.

When we stop to catch our breaths, Lena accuses Violet, "This is all your fault. If you hadn't meddled with magic, Webby would still be safe!"

Violet says, "The Tulpas are manifestations of great desire."

Lena says, "Like your desire for magical power."

Violet rebutts, "Or your desire to not be forgotten by Webbigail. Newton's apple, you are dense!"

I say to Lena, "You didn't notice they took your form? They're trying to keep Webby here in the Shadow Rhelm with you!"

Lena groans, "Ugh! Maybe!"

Violet says, "Look, we have nothing in common, but we do all seem to care about -"

Webby screams, "Help!"

Lena and I exclaim, "Webby!"

Violet exclaims at the same time, "Webbigail!" We continue running, and she continues, "If she goes out that door, we may lose her forever."

Lena says, "Not on my watch. Come on, nerds. Let's make magic."

The three of us hold hands, chanting, "With the hand of my friend's friend, we bring bitter jealousy to an end. With the hand of my friend's friend, we bring bitter jealousy to an end. With the hand of my friend's friend, we bring bitter jealousy to an end. With the hand of my friend's friend, we bring bitter jealousy to an end!"

With the last chant, the Shadow Rhelm started disappearing into smoke, bringing us back to our world. Lena starts disappearing, making Webbyvand Violet and I look at each other in silent panic. Just as Lena was about to fully disappear, Webby's bracelet floats in the air, shooting straight into Lena's form as the smoke cloud covered her. The smoke disappates, revealing Lena in a fully corporeal form.

She gasps, "I'm back?"

Violet says, "You certainly look like you're back."

Webby tears up, shouting, "You're back!"

She tackles Lena in a hug, nearly knocking her to the ground. I join in the hug, and Violet stands at the side.

Launchpad coughs at the top of the stairs, asking, "Hey Webby, you have any more of those smoke bombs?"

Mrs. Beakley, in an odd costume, exclaims, "Hurry, Launchpad! Let's get this shot done before the boys get back and ruin our fun. Suck gas, evil do-ers!"

She tosses something on the ground and disappears in a cloud of smoke.

Launchpad runs off after her, saying, "Never mind, we found some. Oh, hey Lena. Whee!"

As we started putting on makeup again, Lena told us how she watched over Webby the whole time she was gone. Apparently, she didn't trust me immediately either, but she was happy to finally actually meet me.

Webby asks, "You've been with me this whole time?"

Lena says, "I wanted to make sure nothing bad happened to you or whatever."

Webby tears up, saying, "That is the sweetest, non-creepiest thing anyone's ever said to me." She brings us into a group hug, adding, "I've got my old best friend. I've got my new best friends. I've got pie! This is easily the most successful sleepover I've ever had."

I say, "This was the best first sleepover ever. Thanks for including me, Webby."

Violet says, "Yes, it was very educational. A shame you didn't listen to your friend earlier. Now I will use that knowledge to seek grim vengeance upon you all!"

Lena turns around, her face melting like Webby's makeup earlier as she exclaims, "Gah, my face!"

Webby and I scream in shock before Lena and Violet laugh.

Violet says, "I can joke, too."

Lena smiles, "You were right, they both bought it! Good one, Vi!"

Webby exclaims, "Best friends!"

Later that night, as we were getting ready to go to bed, my brothers, Mom, and Uncle Scrooge finally returned home, looking utterly exhausted. Mrs. Beakley said they were counting money in Uncle Scrooge's Money Bin all day. I was putting the rest of the pie in the fridge when Louie walked in.

He had an odd expression on his face as he asked, "Why are you wearing green? You looked fine in your old clothes."

I say, "Mom just got these for me since green's my favorite color."

Louie says, "Well, at least you're a girl. No one will confuse us."

I confusedly ask, "What? What does that mean?"

Louie huffs as he responds, "I don't know if you've noticed, but we're identical triplets." He frowns as he corrects himself, "Quadruplets. Why do you think we wear different colors? Otherwise no one can tell the difference between us."

I frown as I say, "Oh. I thought you just wore your favorite colors."

Louie says, "Well, yeah. That too, but that's besides the point. Why green, anyway? That's my signature color."

I get the feeling he doesn't particularly like me. I thought it was just because Mom and I are new to him, but shouldn't that have gone away by now?

I respond, "When Mom and I first landed on Earth, it was the first real color I saw. The grass, the trees, it was everywhere. It was beautiful. The only colors I saw growing up was the fading red of the Spear and Mom's Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, the metallic grey of cold metal, and the vast darkness of space. When I saw the grass, I realized it was the most amazing color I'd ever seen. The color of... growth, I guess. Of nature. Something I'd never seen on the Moon. Nothing grows there. No color was that vibrant or beautiful."

Louie quietly said, "Oh. S- sorry I was so hostile. Long day counting money with Uncle Scrooge. He gets pretty upset if he thinks we're 'counting the money wrong', whatever that means."

I say, "It's okay." After a long pause of us both just standing in the kitchen in silence, I nervously ask, "Do... Do you not like me?"

Louie asks, "What? What makes you think I don't?"

I say, "Other than just now? Well, you avoid me a lot when you see me around the mansion, and you don't really talk to me that often." He stares at me in shock, and I add, "Yeah, I noticed. Mom told me I can be pretty perceptive."

Louie says, "I just- I guess- I don't know. I know you're my sister and all, but it feels weird to not know my own sister. Everything you do just reminds me of how little we know each other. You and Mom were gone for most of my life, and I didn't even know I had a sister until a few months before you guys got here. It's kinda hard to get to know a family member who you didn't even know existed for most of your life. I don't avoid you on purpose, I just... never know what to say."

I say, "Well, when you do know what to say, my door's always open. My room's right next to yours after all."

He chuckles, and I bring him into a hug. He hugs me back.

Mom walks in just then, saying, "Hey, kids. Good to see you two getting along."

We release our hug, and I try to tackle Mom in a hug.

She chuckles, picking me up as she asks, "Whoa. What's gotten into you, Clover?"

I say, "Webby, Violet, and I had my first sleepover!"

Mom says, "That's so cool, honey! How did it go?"

I exclaim, "It was so fun! We went into the Shadow Rhelm and had an adventure! We even brought Webby's old friend Lena back from its depths!"

Louie asks, "Lena's back?"

I say, "Yeah, she's sleeping over tonight in Webby's room."

Mom sets me down, and we head into Webby's room. Lena and Violet introduce themselves, and we soon go to bed. Today was a fun day.

Chapter 8: The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee

Chapter Text

My oldest brother, Huey, wanted me and Webby to meet one of his friends. I think he said he's an inventor or something? We wait outside an electronics store. Mom gave me money to get a 'phone' so I could have easier communication with everyone and 'headphones' so I could listen to music without bothering anybody.

We've been waiting for around a half hour, and Webby asks Huey, "So... where is this friend?"

Huey nervously says, "Fenton is... very busy... working... on robotics!"

A tall metal person flies overhead and crash-lands in a nearby alleyway, and Webby gasps as a tall duck walks out of that same alleyway a minute later carrying a bag.

The duck says, "Sorry I'm late!"

Huey over-dramatically says, "Fenton! There you are! You just missed a Gizmoduck flyby!"

Webby gasps, "You're Gizmoduck!"

Fenton angrily says, "Huey!"

Huey nervously says, "I didn't say anything!"

Webby exclaims, "Hi, I'm Webby! Nice to meet you! Does your suit have a toilet?"

I say, "I'm Clover, Huey's sister. Uh, what's Gizmoduck?"

Fenton sighs before quietly responding, "Gizmoduck is my heroic alter ego, and I fight crime in a robotic suit."

He pulls out a notebook and quickly jots something down as I exclaim, "Cool! I know a real-life superhero!"

Fenton exclaims, "No matter. Heroing is well and good, but today is about science! About Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera peeling back the shell of the unknown to make a discovery so revolutionary that I'll be remembered as more than just -"

He stops talking when we enter the electronics store, and we see multiple news broadcasts featuring Gizmoduck, and Fenton sighs.

Huey exclaims, "Poor Fenton's worn out from saving the day every day!"

Webby dramatically says, "The tragic hero who cares for everyone... but himself."

Fenton walked off in search of some parts, and Huey showed me what the best phone would be for a beginner to technology. He said it also has the ability to take photos and access to the Internet as well as messaging capabilities. I had no idea Earth technology was this complicated!

I grab a pair of Bluetooth headphones and see Fenton talking to a chicken girl, and I overhear him nervously say, "I- I'm a scientist with McDuck Enterprises, actually."

The chicken girl mocks him, "Ooh, sell-out science! Pushing pencils! Wearing a suit! Brain-storming the next Gizmoduck! Like we need any more of that show-off."

Fenton nervously asks, "W- w- wait, I- What is it you do?"

The chicken girl responds, "Uh, shatter expectations?"

Her phone rings and she presses on the screen, making the ringing stop.

She groans, then continues, "I have no rules. No limits. I don't kiss up to zillionaires. I work for myself."

Fenton says, "Actually, I'm working on my own project that's pretty neat. I haven't quite cracked the equations yet, but it's still very dangerous. The most dangerous kind of neat."

He play growls, and she smirks, saying, "Alright, Suit. You're doing hard science? Show me your lab."

Fenton nervously says, "Uh... Yes. My lab. T- that is mine. I'll pick you up at 7 for some severe... sciencing."

I ask, "What is going on? There's this weird... energy around them."

Webby adds, "Are they... fighting?"

Huey says, "Oh, girls. This is the standard romantic courting of adults, commonly known as a 'meet cute'."

I ask, "Are you sure? That doesn't look like romance."

Webby adds, "Yeah. Fenton looks awfully sweaty."

Huey says, "Anxious perspiration. Intense eye contact. Coy body language. Only thing we haven't seen is the awkward, yet adorable accident."

The chicken girl keeps getting closer to Fenton as he backs up, and she asks, "Do you want my name or address or... any means of contact?"

Fenton nervously exclaims, "Uh, yes! Of course! All of it!"

He backs up into a stand of batteries, knocking the stand over.

Huey exclaims, "Love is in the air!"

The chicken girl grabs Fenton's phone and taps on it before giving it back, saying, "It's Gandra. Gandra Dee."

After Fenton got his parts and I paid for my new phone and headphones, we headed over to Fenton's house. He turned off another news broadcast about Gizmoduck, and held up two identical pale yellow shirts.

He asks, "So, the yellow or... the yellow?"

Webby says, "You need something more formal, like a tux!"

I add, "Ooh, or a fancy cloak!"

Fenton says, "I have a lab coat."

Huey exclaims, "You have to dress to impress!"

Fenton says, "Guys, this is just a meeting of the minds that could turn into a flirtation that could then blossom into a living relationship for as long as we both shall live! But I don't want to come on too strong, so... not a date."

Huey exclaims, "A night of romance is just the break you need!"

I add, "Yeah. I may have never seen real romance before, but I could tell that you and Gandra definitely had something going on."

Webby adds, "And if things don't go well, you could always reveal that you're Gizmoduck!"

Fenton quickly exclaims, "No Gizmo! Just Fenton."

Huey says, "We'll take care of everything. The lab will be perfect for your daaaaaaaaaate!" 

A duck woman that looked like an older, more feminine Fenton pops her head into Fenton's room, asking, "What's this about a date?"

Fenton responds, "It's just a little lab session with a peer. I should just be myself, right M'ma?"

Fenton's mom responds, "Oh no, never be yourself on a first date. Or a second. Or any dates. You have to be the best version of yourself." She leaves the room and comes back with a suit, handing it to him as she says, "Here. This was your dad's. I've been saving it for a special occasion. Have a nice time, Pollito!"

She adds in a tense voice like, "Oh, and if that girl breaks your heart, I will hunt her down and dismantle her life, piece by piece."

While Fenton gets dressed, Webby, Huey, and I head out to the Money Bin's lab. Webby and I work together to knock out the chicken guy that was there and lock him in the closet so we could get set up for Fenton's date without being stopped. Huey puts up decorations, Webby cooks, and I set up a table and play some romantic music on the radio.

Just as we finished getting set up, Fenton and Gandra step into the lab, and Huey says in a fake accent, "Benvenuti!"

I add, "Welcome to Gyroscopios, a place for romance!"

Huey says, "Prego, Prego, Prego. Please follow us."

Gandra asks as I sit them down at the table, "This is your lab? How do you get anything done with all this moody Italian decor?"

Fenton nervously laughs, saying, "Yeah, this is not..."

Webby exclaims, "Buongiorno! Can I tell you about tonight's special? It's spaghetti!"

I whisper, "Please order it. It's the only thing she made."

Fenton whispers back, "Where is Dr. Gearloose?"

I whisper, "Was that his name? Huh. Anyway, yes, we took care of him."

We suddenly hear pounding from inside the closet and the chicken guy, Dr. Gearloose, shouts, "You will rue the day!"

I mutter, "Dang. Thought we had more time before he woke up."

Fenton gives me a disturbed look as Gandra asks, "What was that?"

Fenton nervously responds, "The, uh, Crackshell-Cabrera talking closet! Uh, will you excuse me a second?"

He walks off into the makeshift kitchen and Huey, Webby, and I follow him.

He exclaims, "This is a disaster! She's not into romantic accoutrement, she's into science!"

Huey says, "According to rom-com movies, mood is essential. Without it, how will you two develop chemistry?"

A/N: Huey's getting his romance knowledge from rom-coms instead of the JWG because that makes more sense to me. Plus, it lets Clover be unaware of what romance really is until this chapter since she's read the JWG front to back about as many times as Huey, but hasn't watched that much TV. She's pretty much only seen a few old Disney movies with Della and a few episodes of Darkwing Duck with Launchpad.

Fenton exclaims, "With actual chemistry! We need to get rid of this stuff, and- Is this spaghetti tied together?"

Huey says, "You're supposed to eat it, then meet in the middle for a kiss."

I add, "Like in Lady and the Tramp!"

Webby pulls out a camera, adding, "And I'll be ready to capture the tender moment."

Huey says, "At the end of the night, we'll hand out souvenir photos."

Fenton says to himself, "Just science, and me, and her, and... the moonlight." He walks back over to the table and sits back down, saying, "Sorry about my interns' odd behavior. They're still under the effects of a... toxic gas leak... that I assure you has now been vented."

Gandra says, "Ugh, been there. Once, I accidentally unleashed a nanobit infestation on my apartment building."

Fenton exclaims, "Holy Marconi!"

Gandra continues, "I tried to explain that a protonic reversal could negate the receptors, but... people don't want to listen to science. They called me -"

Fenton interrupts, "A kook."

Gandra adds, "A menace."

They both say in unison, "A crack... pot?"

Fenton smiles and holds his hand out, saying, "Ms. Dee, shall we science?"

She nods with a matching smile, and they head over to Fenton's work area while Huey, Webby, and I continue observing them in silence.

Fenton brings out a canister, saying, "Tasty Spray! Just spritz any food with this, and it tastes just like glazed donuts, like so." He sprays some green olives with it and takes a bite, saying, "Mmm, glazy."

Gandra asks, "What if you don't like glazed donuts?"

Fenton gives her a horrified expression as he asks, "What kind of monster doesn't like glazed donuts?"

After a moment, Gandra asks, "You wanna see something? I mean, really see something? Look into my eyes."

As Fenton leans closer to her, Huey whispers, "Yes! It's happening!"

Gandra's eyes flash brightly for a second as she says, "Eyebuds! Upgrades the eye into a wireless camera."

Fenton grabs a fancy jar, saying, "Well, set those eyebuds on this. A universal solvent! The future of terraforming as we know it! This liquid eats through anything. Only the strongest diamonds are resistant."

Gandra asks, "So, rich boss McDuck gets to gobble up all of Earth's precious gems for himself? What's next, some kind of gold magnet?"

Fenton sets the jar down on the lab table, and his gold necklace starts moving toward a gold colored magnet.

He hides the magnet and his necklace as she says, "Here, take my hand. Do you feel that spark?"

Webby takes a picture just as Fenton is shocked by electricity.

He exclaims, "What was that?!"

Gandra responds, "Nanites! Microscopic robots. They channel my body's electricity into usable external power."

Huh. That sounds pretty neat.

Fenton exclaims, "You experimented on yourself! That's incredibly dangerous!"

Gandra exclaims, "I know! Most of these pencil-pushers just theorize and talk... Uh, what's the word?"

Fenton spouts out a few synonyms, "Yadda-yadda? Blah blah blah? Babbling? Blathering?"

Gandra responds, "That's the one."

Fenton gets a visible boost of confidence, and digs through his desk.

He says, "Okay, you want punk science? You want ripping the fabric of the universe and bending the elements to your very will? My top secret personal project... Behold!"

He pulls out a ping-pong paddle with a glowing ball attached, explaining, "Fentonium, a frictionless synthetic crystal of my own design. Instead of slowing down after an initial bounce, it actually speeds up and gains energy."

Gandra has a huge smile on her face as she exclaims, "Ada Dovelace, that's amazing! Imagine that potential unleashed!"

He adds, "And incredibly unstable! I still need to crack the equation, or it could tear the lab apart. An innovative generator from a mild-mannered source. Like I said, neat, right?"

Gandra blushes a little and stares at him as he puts his invention away, saying, "Yeah, you kinda are. Hungry, Suit?"

Huey says, "Okay, okay, they're hungry. Let's move, people! Webby, camera. Manny, Bulb, music. Me, Clover, food. Order up!"

We both lift the giant plate of spaghetti and set it down in the center of the table, and I sprinkle some parmesan cheese on top.

I say, "Guys, it's really working!"

Webby exclaims, "The spaghetti got untied!"

Huey exclaims, "Fenton's perfect date!"

Webby says, "I need a distraction."

Huey immediately starts singing in Italian and I bring over some drink cups, winking at Webby as I see her positioned just under the table.

After a moment, she hurriedly pulls Huey and I into the kitchen, exclaiming, "Gandra's a spy for Mark Beaks! This is all about her getting some passcode from Fenton!"

Huey exclaims, "What?!"

I ask, "Who's Mark Beaks?"

Huey responds, "He's a billionaire influencer who owns Waddle and tried to steal the Gizmoduck armor before!"

I say, "This can't be good."

Huey adds, "There's nothing in rom-coms about spies! Oh, this is gonna shatter Fenton's self-esteem!"

Webby exclaims, "Also, he could be captured by spies!"

Huey exclaims, "Two bad things could happen! Clover, you go get Fenton and bring him back here now!"

I hurry out and tap Fenton on the shoulder, saying, "Uh, y- you have an important phone call. Over there. Now."

Fenton follows me into the kitchen, saying, "Guys, this is going really well. Gandra's brilliant, and charming, and a little critical. Just like my mother, and Gyro, and pretty much everyone else in my life. Most of all, Gandra doesn't care about Gizmoduck. She likes me! ...And you guys are staring. Why are you staring?"

Huey nervously says, "Um, you're... looking good out there, tiger!"

Webby exclaims, "Huey!"

I nervously say, "Fenton, we have some bad news..."

We explain about what Webby overheard, and Fenton looks about as angry as Mom was with the Moon Mite when it melted the Spear. He walks back out and stands by the table.

Gandra says, "You know, I wasn't so sure about you, but... I like this."

Fenton barely contains his anger as he says, "You sure you wouldn't want anything else? I spy the server right over there. I can waddle over there and get his attention!"

Gandra nervously says, "Oh, uh... no, no, no, no. But, hey! What about a second date? We can do a picnic, or get some fresh air, go for a... Oh, what are those things called? The toy that Ben Frankloon tied to a key?"

Fenton exclaims, "I know what you're here for. Gizmoduck! Just like everyone else. There's a feeling man with feelings under that synthetic alloy shell!"

Gandra asks in the fakest tone I've ever heard, "Whaaaaaat? You're Gizmoduck?"

Fenton says in a defeated tone, "You know who I am. Who doesn't? Blathering blatherskite." The metal armor that I saw earlier flies to cover him immediately after he says that, and he exclaims, "Is this what you want?!"

A grey parakeet man drops from a ceiling vent, saying, "That's exactly what I want."

I whisper, "Is that Beaks?"

Huey nods, and Beaks continues, "You may have the suit, but I have something better. A full body upgrade!" He drinks a blue liquid from a small tube, adding, "That's right. I drank Dee's nanite serum and linked it up with stolen Gizmo Tech. I just needed your passcode to boot it up."

He plays an audio recording on his phone of Fenton saying, "Blathering blatherskite."

He starts growing large muscles, ripping through his clothes.

He groans, "Ugh, this feels gross! This is normal, right? Right?!"

Gandra asks, "Did you drink more than one of the serum vials?!"

Beaks exclaims, "Yes! I told you I was bored!" He fully transforms into a beast of pure muscle three times larger than he was, and his voice deepens as he says, "Bigger than Gizmoduck, it's Mega Beaks! Oh, and you're all incredibly dead." He starts flexing his new muscles, asking, "So, which huge muscle should I use to destroy what first?"

Fenton growls, "You've always been a monster, but now you are a literal monster."

They start fighting, and Fenton launches pies at Beaks. The first few just hit him, but he then starts eating them in one bite.

He asks, "Wait, did I just eat the pie tins?" Fenton spritzes Beaks in the face with Tasty Spray, and he exclaims, "Eugh, yuck! Glazed donuts!"

Fenton exclaims, "Go! Find cover!"

Huey, Webby, and I hide under the date table, and Huey exclaims, "This date is a disaster! Fenton's gonna be crushed!"

We see Beaks on top of Fenton, and Webby shouts, "Fenton's going to be crushed!"

Beaks crushes part of Fenton's visor, exposing his right eye as he says, "Hi, amigo."

Fenton shoves him off, and knocks Beaks to the floor, charging up a blast as he says, "Bye, Beaksie."

Just before he was about to shoot Beaks, Gandra electrocutes Fenton with her hand nanites, short-circuiting the Gizmoduck armor and making him fall to the ground, unable to move.

She says, "Sorry, Suit."

Beaks lifts the table we were hiding under and grabs all three of us in on hand.

He exclaims, "I've got your kids! Maybe. I'm not sure how this family works. But don't think about following me!"

He jumps straight through the glass window and into the ocean, forcing us to hold our breaths as he swims to the surface.

I'm just about to blackout from lack of oxygen before he finally resurfaces, splashing water all over as laughs, shouting, "Hashtag: make it rain!"

He leaps up to the Waddle building, holding onto the roof with his free hand.

Webby exclaims while I try to catch my breath, "How is this a part of your plan?!"

Beaks responds as helicopters start circling around us, "I wanted to up my visibility. You don't get more visible than a giant monster!"

Huey exclaims, "You ruined Fenton's date and nearly drowned my sister! Where is your heart, man?!"

Beaks nonchalantly responds, "In here somewhere, under all these righteous pecks! Pla-plaw!" He starts flexing his chest muscles until he gets hit in the face with a small ball, exclaiming, "Ow!" It hits him again, and he exclaims, "Ow! Who's doing that?!"

Fenton, out of the Gizmoduck armor, exclaims as he hits the Fentonium ball against the paddle again, "Call me... Fenton!"

Beaks sets Huey, Webby, and I inside the small indented Waddle logo before jumping to the ground, and I kneel down, coughing out some water. Huey lightly slaps my back to help me get the rest of the water out of my lungs. He looks really concerned for me, and I finally get the remaining water out, sitting down with my legs dangling out of the indented W.

After getting hit a few more times, Mega Beaks catches the Fentonium ball, saying, "Wow. I've never actually caught a ball before." He shouts, "Well, who's the loser now, Coach Dad?!"

Gandra shocks Mega Beaks from behind, and Fenton exclaims, "Gandra?!"

Gandra says, "Hurting puny, helpless heroes was not part of our deal, Beaks!"

Fenton says, "Gonna focus on the 'hero' part."

Beaks uses Gandra's electricity against her, and she's launched off of him.

She lands near Fenton, and he asks, "Are you okay?"

Gandra exclaims, "I- I can't shock him anymore! His nanite-snhanvedskin is too tough!"

Fenton says, "Yeah, but what matters is inside. Under all that, he's still the same weak, ego-fueled dweeb!"

Gandra groans, "Ugh, heroes. Always with the morals."

Fenton says, "No, I mean, inside, he's weak!" He pulls out his phone, shouting to Beaks, "You can stop, Beaks! Look! You're trending worldwide!"

Beaks happily says, "I wanna see! I wanna see!"

Fenton tosses his phone up to him, but when Beaks tries tapping the screen, the phone breaks into small pieces.

He mutters, "I can't use a phone." He shouts, "I can't use a phone! Nooooooooo!"

While his mouth was open, Gandra uses her hand nanites to charge up the Fentonium ball, and Fenton hits it hard with his paddle. It lands directly in Beaks' mouth, and he starts shrinking back to his original size, losing his muscles.

I exclaim, "Fenton did it!"

Webby adds, "And without the Gizmoduck armor!"

Huey says, "Girls, there is no Gizmoduck without the noble Fenton underneath-"

He steps forward, and nearly falls as Webby and I catch him.

He shouts, "Aaahhhh! I wanna come down now! Heeeeelp!"

Fenton looks around him, not spotting Gandra.

He smiles as he flips his paddle, and I shout, "We're ready to come down anytime now!"

Fenton helps us down, and we head back to the Money Bin, where Launchpad is waiting. He drives us home, and I tell Mom what happened, and she puts on a movie for us to watch. I fall asleep on her lap, feeling exhausted from the day's events.

Chapter 9: The Duck Knight Returns

Chapter Text

Dewey, Launchpad, and I watch the final episode of Darkwing Duck The TV shows a zoomed-out view of St. Canard, the city this show mainly takes place in. Somewhere below a ‘kitten orphanage’, a masked villain places multiple bombs in the sewers, laughing evilly.

He says, “So bad.”

Just as he was about to leave the area, a loud poof sound was heard, and purple smoke appeared. As soon as the smoke dissipates, the show’s titular character Darkwing Duck appears.

He says, “I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the pebble in the penny loafer of depravity! I am -”

The villain interrupts him, saying, “Darkwing Duck.”

Darkwing smirks, saying, “Ah, so you’ve heard of me. Let’s! Get! Dangerous!”

However, as he tries to run towards the villain, he steps onto a couple of hidden bombs, blowing up with each step but somehow stays alive.

He says, “Ow! Dangerous! Ah! Dangerous…”

As Darkwing steps on the last bomb, it sends him flying into the masked villain.

He dazedly says, “Oh, my goodness.” He then regains his senses and holds the villain, adding, “Okay! You think a few very painful explosions can stop me? Now, let’s see who you really are!” He pulls the masked villain's mask off to see, “Me?!”

The screen displays text that reads ‘To be continued’ as it pauses. A duck man who looks exactly like Darkwing’s alter ego, pauses the TV and I remember just where we are, in the parking lot of the opening ceremony of a sofa store. I must’ve really gotten sucked into the show. Ever since Launchpad introduced me to the show, I’ve found great enjoyment in watching it.

The duck man who paused the TV exclaims, “Whoa, what a twist!”

Launchpad claps, exclaiming, “What?! I never saw that coming!”

Dewey asks, “Wait, haven’t you seen this episode?”

Launchpad responds, “Seventy-five times! But never in a parking lot.”

I say, “I’m glad you told me to wait to watch this episode before coming over here, but what was up with that ‘to be continued’ thing? That can’t be how it ends! I need to know what happens!”

The duck man says, “Sadly, beloved TV show Darkwing Duck, starring me, Jim Starling, was canceled before we could end this story, but there’s no end to the savins at Siesta Rick’s Sofa Fiesta!” He sighs, then cuts a large ribbon in front of the store, adding, “Let’s! Get! Comfortable!” He chuckles, then exclaims, “I’ll be signing autographs for one and all! If one and all want one!”

Most of the crowd leaves, much to Jim’s dismay.

Launchpad seems to be getting overwhelmed, and Dewey asks, “You good?”

Launchpad responds, “Yup. Totally cool. Thanks for being here, guys.”

I say, “Of course! I’m glad you shared this show with me. I just wish it ended with an actual conclusion. As Junior Woodchuck Guidebook Rule 91 states, ‘All stories should have a proper beginning, middle, and end’.”

A/N: I don’t know if this is an actual JWG rule, but I feel like it fits with the ones we know.

Dewey mutters, “There really are two of them now.”

As I clutch a Darkwing Duck poster I begged Mom to get for me, an adult fan passes a poster for Jim to sign. A duck guy in front of us seems to be hyping himself up.

He mutters, “Okay, keep it together. ‘I am your biggest fan’. No. ‘I have modeled my entire life after yours’. ‘I wanna keep you in a big jar in my closet’!”

Launchpad says to him, “Calm down, buddy. Jim Starling’s just a regular guy. I’ve been to plenty of these signings, and one day, I’m actually gonna meet him.”

The fan asks, “Wait, if you’ve seen him so many times, how come you’ve never talked to him?”

Jim announces, “Next!”

Launchpad faints and collapses onto the fan, and Dewey says, “This is why.”

Jim starts talking on his phone as we try to get the fan out from underneath Launchpad, “Look, I’m the one and only Darkwing Duck. I need a real gig! I’m bigger than sofa store openings. I don’t care that they sell recliners, too!”

The fan is finally up on his own, and hands his poster over to Jim, saying, “Mr. Starling, you have meant so much to me. I- I actually have a very important question for you.”

Jim takes his poster, saying, “Great. Who do I make this out to?”

The fan responds, “Oh! Um, uh, I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the president of your fan club! I am -”

Jim interrupts him, saying, “Yeah, yeah. That’ll be 15 bucks. Stay dangerous.”

Jim takes his money and passes back the poster, and the fan dejectedly walks away.

Jim excitedly says, “Waaaiiit!”

The fan turns around, asking hopefully, “Uh, yes?”

Jim goes straight to me, exclaiming, “A fresh-faced new fan! I knew the kids still loved me!” He takes my poster, asking, “Who do i make this out to?”

I say, “I’m Clover.”

He hands back my poster with a big smile on his face, and I smile back.

I quickly ask, “Are you really Darkwing? What was it like to be on TV? How long did you play him on TV? Why did the show end? What was the ending going to be like? DId they ever film it? What did you think of playing Darkwing? Was it fun? Horrible? Something in between? Have you done any acting since? Did you do any before the show?”

His eyes widen, and he mutters, “Geez, that’s a lot of questions. Uh, I guess -”

Dewey interrupts him, placing Launchpad’s face on the table.

Jim sighs, saying, “Oh, the fainter’s back.”

Dewey says, “He’d really appreciate it if you could sign his… poster?”

Jim signs Launchpad’s chin, and Dewey takes a picture of the three of us on his phone, and I hold up my signed poster. I peer over his shoulder as he prepares to post the photo, typing ‘Launchpad looks sick but trust me, he is stoked, and so is my sister Clover. #Celebrity #IWasntAliveInThe90s #TimeToJumpOnRedliners #DarkwingDuck’.

As he types, he says, “Whoa, that’s weird.”

I ask, “What is?”

Dewey clicks on #DarkwingDuck and says, “Darkwing Duck is trending number one worldwide.”

Jim exclaims, “What?! Gimme!”

He tries to grab it, but Dewey stops him while he reads it, saying, “It says here they’re making a movie of Darkwing Duck!”

I say, “Wow. I got into the show at the right time. Must be kismet.”

Jim asks, “They are? We am?!”

That wasn’t proper grammar. Jim stands on Launchpad’s back in joy as he tries to see Dewey’s phone screen, and the fan looks on in excitement as well.

Jim exclaims, “Darkwing Duck is back, baby!”

Launchpad wakes up, asking, “He is?!”

He gets up, causing Jim to fall onto the fan.

Launchpad turns around and spots Jim, exclaiming, “It’s him!”

He then faints again, falling onto both Jim and the fan while Dewey takes a selfie, side-hugging me with the pile of people in the background. After Launchpad gets up and can hear Jim’s voice without fainting again, the fan walks off on his own and Jim follows us to the limousine, where we drive to the address Dewey found online of the studio that’s making the Darkwing Duck movie, and Launchpad drives, but keeps fainting every couple seconds as he spots Jim in the rearview mirror.

Dewey says from the passenger seat, “Launchpad! Stop looking in the rearview mirror.”

Launchpad wakes up, saying, “Yup! Totally profesh. No problem…”

He faints again, and the limousine stops again.

Jim angrily exclaims next to me in the backseat, “Hey! Fragile cargo here!” He then goes back to his cheerful tone as he relaxes back, his arms crossed over his head as he adds, “Back on top. Arriving on set for a big-shot movie in style. Thanks for the ride, fans.”

Dewey says, “Wow. I am going to a real movie studio! Where larger-than-life big-screen legends are born!”

I add, “And we get to ride there with a real-life movie star!”

I then recoil as Jim sniffs one of his sweaty armpits, and he mutters, “Musky.”

I mutter, “Ew.”

Dewey asks, “Are we sure about this guy? Why wouldn’t the studio send a car for him? Or, you know, tell him the movie exists?”

Launchpad responds, “They couldn’t make a movie without him. Jim Starling is Darkwing Duck!”

Jim hugs Launchpad’s shoulders, exclaiming, “You’re dang right he is, buddy!”

Launchpad gasps, “I’m his buddy!”

Launchpad faints again, only this time, the limousine accelerates and crashes into the entrance of the movie studio.

Dewey groans, “Oh, man. I hope whoever owns the studio isn’t mad at… Wait, what the?!”

I ask, “What? What is it?”

We all get out, and I see that it’s Uncle Scrooge’s movie studio, called McDuck Studio, and an icon of Uncle Scrooge also appears beside the signboard. We race inside, bypassing security as Dewey tells the security guard that we’re Scrooge’s great-niece, great-nephew, personal driver, and an actor. We quickly find the meeting room Uncle Scrooge and the movie’s director are in, and Dewey kicks the door open, looking pissed. He takes a traffic cone-shaped trophy and hops into the table, pointing it at Uncle Scrooge.

He exclaims, “You have a movie studio that could fulfill a starry-eyed boy’s dreams! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Uncle Scrooge moves the trophy aside, saying, “To avoid this exact conversation.”

Dewey says, “Okay, yeah, no, I can see that.”

I help him down from the table as Launchpad enters the room, and the lights suddenly go out.

Jim says as he sneakily enters the room, “I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the comeback the audience demands!” I turn the lights back on as he jumps onto the movie director’s armrest, adding, “I am… a huge fan, Alistair Borswan! I mean, I’ve never actually seen your work, but you’re British, so I’m sure that it’s very classy, and… yeah.”

He gets off the armrest and stands on the floor while Alistair has a perturbed look on his face.

Alistair asks, “Uh, yes. And you are?”

Jim laughs, saying, “British and funny? Whoa! This feels like the beginning of a great creative partnership!”

Launchpad looks at the Darkwing Duck movie poster, exclaiming, “Aw, cool! A big-budget reboot of a thing I loved as a kid! Those are always great!”

Alistair moves his chair in an attempt to move away from Launchpad, Jim, and I, but we move closer and closer until he has no more space to back away.

Launchpad asks, “Is Darkwing’s motorcycle in it? Is he still a noble hero who gets back up and fights for right, no matter what evil throws at him? You’re keeping the theme song, right?”

I ask, “What about the original show’s ending? Is the movie going to include it? Or is it going to be a full reboot and retell the story in the original show? What about the adopted daughter storyline? You’re at least keeping that, right?”

Alistair suddenly smirks, pulling out a USB drive as he asks, “Would you like the trailer?”

We excitedly nod, and we sit down at the table as Alistair plugs the USB drive into the projector, pressing ‘play’. As the trailer starts, the McDuck Studio logo appears with purple smoke at the bottom.

The narrator says, “Within every man, there is a war.”

The scene changes to the camera showing multiple darkly-lit buildings.

The narrator continues, “Not of action, but of ideas.”

Dewey groans, and I shush him.

The narrator continues, “There is no right or wrong.” A scream is heard, but the narrator continues, “No heroes or villains. Only darkness.”

The camera shows the entire city blacked out, the word ‘DARKNESS’ displaying on screen before it changes to show people running away as a pearl necklace drops to ground in slow-motion.

The narrator says, “There is one man who can fight the darkness.”

The scene changes to a silhouette of Darkwing Duck on one of the building towers, and Launchpad cheers, “Yeah! Here we go, baby!”

The sound of thunder clapping is played, and the narrator says, “With more darkness.”

THe screen goes dark again, displaying the words ‘MORE DARKNESS’, and Launchpad asks, “What’s this, now?”

The scene changes to someone lighting a match, then dropping it, fiery letters spelling out ‘DW’. Launchpad looks on in horror as I cheer in delight. The scene changes again to show people running out of the subway.

A duck man yells, “It’s the Darkwing! Run!”

The scene changes to show the pearl necklace finally hit the ground, breaking upon impact. The next scene shows Commissioner Haggard, a police dog, confronting Darkwing Duck on the rooftops.

He yells, “You can’t just flap around in the night! You’ll terrify people! It’s too dangerous!”

The scene changes to show just Darkwing’s face as he smiles, and it changes to a title screen.

The narrator reads, “Darkwing: First Darkness. This film is not suitable for children.”

As the scene disappears, the trailer ends. Alistair looks pleased, but Launchpad and Dewey don’t look too happy about it. Meanwhile, I’m ecstatic about it. Mom hasn’t let me see movies like this yet, but I can’t wait to see it!

Launchpad exclaims, “That is not Darkwing Duck! DW’d never hurt innocent people or set the city on fire. Not on purpose!”

Alistair asks, “But are we all not both the heroes and the villains of our own story?”

Launchpad confusedly asks, “What? I don’t… What?!”

I say, “I loved it! I liked the original show, but this movie seems more like my style!”

Jim says, “I kinda like it too, kid! Grim, gritty, shows off my dark, smoldering side. Ooh! Aah!”

Dewey says, “I kinda hated it.”

Alistair exclaims, “What?!”

Dewey continues, “I didn’t understand what was happening, or what the bad guy was doing, or even who the bad guy was.”

Uncle Scrooge slams his fists on the table, exclaiming, “I knew he needed a moustache!”

What?

Dewey stands on the table, adding, “It needs aliens! Oh, or ninjas! Or the streetwise sidekick who skateboards everywhere and talks in catchphrases, like ya Dewey!”

Uncle Scrooge says to Alistair, “This is your main audience. If this fiasco is gonna make money, it has to appeal to the most childish child I know. Dewey’s in charge.”

Alistair exclaims, “What?! No!”

Dewey exclaims, “Yes! Let’s talk musical numbers! How many is not enough?”

Just then, Jim pushes Alistair’s chair aside, saying, “Don’t listen to these yahoos. We’re making art! When do we start?”

Alistair says, “Uh, we’re almost finished, actually.”

Jim says, “Ah. So we’re shooting the Darkwing scenes last.”

Alister says, “No.”

Jim exclaims, “Of course! I’ll be put in with CGI!”

He laughs, and I mutter to Uncle Scrooge, “What’s CGI?”

He shrugs, and Alistair sighs, saying, “You are not playing Darkwing Duck.” He points at the fan from earlier as he enters with a drink, adding, “He is.”

Jim asks, “Huh?”

Launchpad exclaims, “You?!”

I say, “Oh, wow! I met a movie star!”

The Darkwing actor says, “Mr. Starling! Uh, we met at the signing. You fell on me, remember? It was a huge honor. Uh, do you have any words of wisdom for the man stepping into your cape?”

That just made Jim angry, and he snaps, pouncing onto Drake and starts beating him up as we just stare in shock. Uncle Scrooge calls security, and Jim gets thrown out of the building by a security guard. Launchpad and I follow to check up on him while he rights himself.

Launchpad says, “That is not the Darkwing Duck I know and love!”

Jim exclaims, “Yeah! It’s not me!”

I say, “I thought the trailer looked awesome, but it’s not cool that they’re replacing you! You’re the Darkwing Duck!”

Launchpad says, “I wish there was some way we could show them how great the old -”

Jim interrupts him, correcting, “Original.”

Launchpad continues, “Uh, original Darkwing is.”

Jim smirks mischievously, saying, “Hey, maybe there is.”

He enters the limousine, soon exiting through the sunroof in his Darkwing Duck costume.

He asks, “Are you with me, sidekicks?”

Launchpad faints in joy, landing on me. Once he’s finally awake again, the three of us hide behind a bush, peeking at the entrance security guard.

Launchpad asks, “Okay, what’s the plan?”

Jim says, “I break onto the set, you two find this new hack actor’s trailer; I replace him in the finale, they see I’m obviously better, I’m back on top! Any questions?”

Launchpad says, “Seven.”

I say, “Twenty.”

Jim says, “Pick the most important one.”

I ask, “Why do we have to break in? I’m Scrooge’s great-niece. I can just tell them who I am to get in.”

Jim says, “Yeah, that’d work for you, but what about the two of us?”

I say, “Hmm… Good point.”

Launchpad asks, “‘Breaking in’, ‘locking up’, doesn’t that sound… not heroic?”

Jim asks, “When the chips are down and everyone’s against him, what does Darkwing Duck do?”

Launchpad and I respond, “Get back up and fight for right.”

Jim asks, “And I’m Darkwing Duck, right?”

Launchpad responds, “Of course!”

I add, “You’re certainly dressed like Darkwing.”

Just then, a few security guards take away the bush, as it was apparently a prop bush. We move aside into a different bush.

Jim says, “I’ll have to disguise myself to get past the guard. Luckily, I can disappear into any role.”

While the entrance security guard is reading his newspaper, Jim tosses a purple smoke-bomb, appearing out of the smoke in a delivery outfit, but his Darkwing costume is right underneath.

He says, “I am the courier who delivers your -”

He’s interrupted by the guard spraying him with a fire extinguisher. He stops, and Jim tries to gasp for air, but he’s sprayed by the fire extinguisher again before it finally stops.

The guard asks, “What production you delivering to?”

Jim responds, “Darkwing Duck.”

The guard asks, “Huh? Never heard of it.”

Jim exclaims, “What?! Remake of the popular TV show!”

While they talk, Launchpad drives the limousine with bushes tied around it to disguise it, and slams into the entrance again. He uses a grappling gun and helps me go over the wall with him and he covers the logo Scrooge’s ‘eyes’. As we enter, I notice two guards heading toward the entrance while Launchpad poses, pretending to be part of the poster behind us as I just watch, waving at the guards. We then find the trailer, and Launchpad lowers me in through the sunroof before hopping in himself, landing on his stomach.

He says, “Perfect. Now we wait for that phony actor, lock the door, and us, the good guys, win. Totally heroic.”

I say, “I don’t think it’s about heroics, it’s just about getting the right actor to play Darkwing.”

He tries to open the trailer door, but it refuses to open.

He exclaims, “It’s already locked. The plan is falling apart! Help! I’m trapped in a prison of guilt!”

I say, “It’s not that serious, Launch -”

I’m interrupted by the Darkwing actor kicking the door open, accidentally knocking over Launchpad from the inside.

He says while I help Launchpad up, “Fear not, helpless… Oh hey, it’s you guys. I heard your cries, and I freed you from… my… trailer? What… what are you two doing in my trailer?”

Launchpad moves to stand in front of the trailer door, saying, “Definitely not locking you in here to sabotage your movie…” He quickly turns around and locks the door, then turns back around to face the actor, adding, “Buddy?”

The actor looks pissed as Launchpad makes a goofy face and shrugs as I facepalm. The actor tries to attack him, but Launchpad catches him and tosses him into the bathroom, where he lands in the toilet.

Launchpad says, “Oh, man. I’m sorry.”

The actor looks fine as he emerges from the bathroom, toilet paper rolls draped over him.

He growls, “You will be, villain!”

Drake tries to punch Launchpad, but is blocked as I step between them, barely avoiding getting hit. I guess he doesn’t want to hit a kid.

Launchpad says, “We’ve just gotta fix the movie to make Darkwing look like a hero!”

The actor says, “Oh, so what, you’re gonna hold me hostage? Yeah, real heroic.”

Launchpad decided to finally try to hit back as I try to hold the actor back, being dragged behind him as I tug on his shirt. He’s surprisingly resilient!

Launchpad says while barely missing hitting the actor, “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!”

I exclaim, “Launchpad, stop saying ‘sorry’! It’s not helping!”

Launchpad grabs a bottle and is about to hit the actor with it before he exclaims, “Wait, don’t touch that!”

Launchpad takes a closer look and the fight pauses as he exclaims, “Whoa! A vintage Darkwing Duck Grim Avenger grape shampoo bottle?!”

Launchpad carefully places the bottle back on the shelf, and the fight resumes. The actor swings at Launchpad, but he blocks with his arm, and I jump between them, kicking the actor right in the bill. Launchpad manages to grab the dazed actor and tries to bodyslam him into a box, but the actor quickly straightens his arms out so he won’t fall onto the box, exclaiming, “Oh! My Darkwing Adventures comics! It’s a complete run!”

Both men move aside before collapsing onto the floor. Launchpad gets up, and I notice just how much Darkwing memorabilia there is.

I ask, “Whoa. Are you some kind of crazy Darkwing collector?”

The actor shrugs, saying, “I wouldn’t say ‘crazy’, but… yeah.”

Launchpad looks at an action figure, asking, “Is that…”

He and the actor exclaim together, “A hyper-rare Battle Hat Darkwing Duck Action Figure!”

Launchpad continues, ‘I thought these were banned because they posed a blinding hazard for kids! May I?”

The actor responds, “Ah, a keen eye. I insist.”

Launchpad holds the action figure gently, and the toy shoots a small, plastic disc directly into his eye.

Launchpad exclaims, “Ow! Cool!”

The fight seems to have ended fully, as the two grown men start playing with the Darkwing toys. I’ve never played with toys before, so I just watch.

The actor holds the Darkwing Duck action figure above a hot iron, saying, “Your pyro pandemonium is passe, Hot Couture!”

Launchpad holds the Hot Couture action figure, saying in an effeminate voice, “Au contraire, Darkwing. I’m setting the fashion world on fire!”

While I poke the straw into a juice box the actor gave me, my elbow bumps his cup of water, knocking it over as it spills onto a Darkwing Duck lunchbox.

The actor exclaims, “Oh, no!” He gets up, but accidentally drops the red-hot iron onto his foot, exclaiming, “Ah!” He winces in pain as I dive to lift the iron off of his foot, and he groans, “Work though the pain. You got this.”

He moves to the lunchbox, picks it up, and tries to wipe off the water with his wrist.

I say, “My bad. Sorry.”

Both men sit next to me on the couch as I sip the juice box, and Launchpad says, “Hey, I had that same lunchbox as a kid!”

The actor says, “Not like this one.” He shows us the other side of the lunchbox, which has been indented by what looks to be a kid’s face and bill, and he explains, “Now, shocking as it may sound, I was not the coolest kid growing up.”

Launchpad says, “What? No.”

The actor says, “I know, right? But one day, I saw this show about this hero. He was unstoppable. No matter how many times he was beat up, or blown up, or electrocuted.”

Launchpad adds, “No matter how many planes he crashed, or… or how much property damage her caused…”

The actor adds, “He always got back up and fought for what’s right.”

I say, “Cool! I just found the show because Launchpad showed it to me.”

Launchpad says, “So you got the lunchbox, everyone saw how cool you are, and they stopped beating you up!”

The actor says, “Oh, no. They… They beat me up much harder.”

I say, “I’m so sorry.”

The actor smiles at me, saying, “But I kept. Getting. Up. Look, I know this movie’s not perfect, but I really want to make it better. Then, maybe I can be on the lunchbox that inspires some other kid like me. And a cut of the toy sales would be nice.”

I give him a small hug, and Launchpad says, “You are a true fan. We can save this movie! We gotta tell Mr. Starling.”

The actor shrugs off my hug, saying, “Yeah, I… I don’t know. He kind of wants to make me… not alive anymore.”

I ask, “So… dead? I don’t think he really wants to kill you.”

The actor says, “I don’t know…”

Launchpad gets a look of determination on his face as he says, “Get your cape. We’re gonna save Darkwing Duck.”

We leave and the actor splits away from Launchpad and I as we try to find Jim.

We find Dewey leading a dance crew dressed like Darkwing Duck, and Launchpad says, “Dewey, the actor playing Darkwing Duck is a big fan, so Jim can give him pointers and help make him more heroic, and together, we’re going to convince Borswan to fix the movie.”

I add, “He’s so cool! He’s so awesome in a fight! I think the movie will be amazing with both of them in the movie!”

Launchpad asks, “Have you seen Jim?”

Dewey says, “He might be on my set. They’re letting me do whatever I want, and it’s crazy and huge, and I don’t even know if it’s any good. Follow me!”

The three of us exclaim, “Making movies is fun!”

We march with the dance crew around the studio, finally making our way to the filming area, where a set is being put together.

As Alistair arrives at the set, he exclaims, “What?! No, no, no, no, no, no!”

Dewey says to a guy controlling a crane holding a piano, “Easy, Matthew. Don’t want that baby out of tune for the big musical number.”

Alistair asks, “What did you do to my psychological masterpiece?”

Dewey responds, “I added chainsaw jugglers. You’re welcome.”

A chainsaw juggler passes by as a part of the spotlight falls near their feet.

Uncle Scrooge says, “I don’t know about this.”

Alistair exclaims in relief, “Thank you!”

Uncle Scrooge says, “The villain’s moustache has to be at least twice as twirly.”

Alistair sighs, and launchpad and I find Jim dressed as Darkwing in his actor seat.

After Alistair talks to him, Launchpad says, “Oh, there you are! Did you find -”

Jim interrupts him, saying, “Uh, that actor kid? Yeah. Said I could film the finale.”

I ask, “He did?”

Jim says menacingly, “Oh, yeah. Stubbed his toe really badly and just quit. Movie stars; One little boo-boo and they fall apart.”

I say, “That doesn’t sound like him.”

Launchpad adds, “Yeah. And why are you saying things all… mean?”

Before Jim could responds, Alistair calls, “And… action!”

Electric rods turn on as the scene shows someone resembling Megavolt pointing his electric gun at Jim.

The Megavolt actor says while Dewey mouths the line, “You can’t defeat me! I’m awesome!” He starts powering up the device, adding, “Surrender, and do it now!”

Jim kneels, saying, “I’ve lost… the ability to surrender to a two-bit ten-watt dim bulb like you!”

Alistair asks, “Wait, who is that?”

Dewey adds, “Why isn’t his robot face coming off?”

Jim launches at the Megavolt actor, exclaiming, “Feast on this!”

He kicks ‘Megavolt’, knocking him toward one of the electric rods, causing parts of the sparks to set fire backstage upon collapsing. ‘Megavolt’ and the cameramen make a run for it in fear.

Alistair exclaims, “Quick! Cut!”

Jim yells, “NO CUTS!” He zaps the electric gun near Alistair’s feet just before he could reach the camera, and Jim adds, “JIM STARLING NEVER CUTS!”

Launchpad asks, “Huh?”

Jim exclaims, “I’ll film this finale if it kills me and everyone on this roof!”

He points the weapon at Alistair while Launchpad and I move in front of him to protect him.

Suddenly, purple smoke appears, and we hear the actor say, “I am the terror that flaps in the night.” His shadowy silhouette appears above the set, and he adds, “I am the overstuffed burrito that spills onto the lap of crime.” The smoke dissipates, and he’s now fully visible, clad in his Darkwing Duck costume as he exclaims, “I am… Darkwing Duck!”

Jim yells, “NO, I AM!”

He fires the electric gun at the actor as he jumps off, landing safely on the ground. He then avoids most of Jim’s attacks and tries to run away from it. Alistair, on the other hand, keeps filming.

He asks, “What is that idiot doing?”

Uncle Scrooge says, “Drawing fire!”

After another electric shot, all of the actors besides both Darkwings quickly make their exit out of the studio.

Uncle Scrooge exclaims, “Get everyone out! Lass, you’ve got to get out of here! It’s not safe!”

I say, “No, Uncle Scrooge. I need to make sure Darkwing’s okay. Both of them.”

While ‘Darkwing’ avoids Jim’s shots, he manages to hide behind one of the crates where Launchpad hides as well, pulling me into their hiding spot. Just then, the electric gun malfunctions while Jim keeps smacking at it.

Launchpad exclaims, “We’ve gotta stop the flames!”

‘Darkwing’ says, “I’ll keep him distracted. You two turn on the rain machine.”

The three of us exclaim in unison, “Let’s! Get! Dangerous!”

We look at each other with simultaneous looks of joy, and Launchpad exclaims, “This is so cool!”

I add, “It’s like we’re in an episode of the show!”

‘Darkwing’ adds, “I know! It feels so right!”

We have to take deep breaths to calm down, and we go to our designated positions as Jim manages to power the electric gun back up. Launchpad and I start crawling on the rafters, trying to make our way to the two rainmaker spouts.

‘Darkwing’ stands proudly on top of the crate we were hiding behind, exclaiming, “Ha ha!”

Jim exclaims, “What?! I knocked you out cold! Like, a lot!”

The actor says, “I don’t want to brag, but I’m incredibly strong and resilient.”

Jim looks at where the actor is standing, and I just now notice he’s standing on a crate full of explosives.

Jim smiles evilly, asking, “Oh, really?”

I exclaim, “Darkwing, get out of there!”

Before he could move, however, Jim zaps the crate and causes it to explode along with ‘Darkwing’.

Launchpad and I exclaim, “Darkwing!”

Dewey exclaims, “No!”

Jim evilly laughs, but ‘Darkwing’ seems to be fine, only covered in smoke and ash.

Jim asks, “Uh, what?”

‘Darkwing’ mutters as he tries to get up, “Get… back… up…”

Jim looks at the piano and shoots the string, causing it to fall onto ‘Darkwing’ when he runs toward him.

Launchpad and I exclaim again, “Darkwing!”

Dewey exclaims again, “No!”

But again, he seems to be alright, a couple piano pieces falling from his mouth as they play the first few notes of the Darkwing Duck theme song. He shakes his head to regain his senses, running toward Jim again.

Jim yells, “WHY WON’T YOU STAY DOWN?!”

He keeps shooting ‘Darkwing’, but he just keeps moving forward as the electric gun seems to be overheating, producing smoke and turning red.

‘Darkwing’ groans, “Keep… getting… up…”

Jim seems to notice that the gun is overheating and moves away right before it explodes. Soon, both Darkwing Duck actors confront each other face to face as they begin to fight, while Launchpad and I move closer to the rainmaker spouts.

Dewey exclaims, “Uncle Scrooge, stop the bad guy!”

Uncle Scrooge exclaims, “Which is the bad guy?! If only one had a blasted moustache!”

I mutter, “I don’t think that’s the problem, here.”

Both actors seem to be equally matched as they use any tactics they could use to take down the other. Just then, Launchpad and I finally reach the rainmaker and pull both spouts at the same time, causing water to overspill, threatening to push us off of the railings we were holding onto. Suddenly, Jim holds a chainsaw with a crazy look in his eyes like Negaduck in the show.

He growls, “Show’s over, Dead Meat Duck.”

Launchpad falls between them, and I fall onto his back.

He stands up and I hold his hand as I exclaim, “Stop, Jim, please! You’ve got to realize what you’re doing is crazy! I mean, killing someone because he’s playing a character in a movie? That’s insane!”

Launchpad adds, “You’re not a villain, you’re a hero. Our hero. No matter how hopeless things got, Darkwing Duck got back up and did what was right, for Darkwing Duck is bigger than one man. He is the hope that flaps in the night…”

He continues his spiel, and I notice that the electric rod is malfunctioning, shaking out of control and heating up again.

‘Darkwing’ asks, “Um, Launchpad?”

Launchpad doesn’t hear, him, and I nudge him, trying to get him out of his stupor.

Jim gestures at the electric gun with the chainsaw, exclaiming, “Hey dummy, it’s about to blow!” He turns to ‘Darkwing’, adding, “You really can’t stop him once he gets started.”

‘Darkwing’ says, “Well, yeah. He’s your biggest fan.”

Jim has a look of realization as he looks at his reflection in the chainsaw, dropping it as he stares at his hand in horror.

‘Darkwing’ and Jim run toward us, and ‘Darkwing’ exclaims, “I got ya!”

Jim exclaims, “No, I got them!”

I try to pull Launchpad away from the electric gun, and ‘Darkwing’ tries to push him out of the way, but Jim knocks all three of us aside, and we watch in horror as the electric gun explodes. We stare in shock, and ‘Darkwing’ drops to his knees with his hat in his hands, tears in his eyes. Soon, firefighters begin to put out the fire while taking parts of the rubble away, but there’s no sign of Jim.

I overhear Uncle Scrooge say, “Well, this was a disaster. I’m shutting this down. There will never be a Darkwing Duck movie.”

He walks away as Launchpad, ‘Darkwing’, and I still stare at the rubble.

‘Darkwing’ says, “Well, there’s no sign of Starling. The movie’s ruined, I lost my big break, my hero tried to kill me, and… I blew him up. Oh, what am I gonna do?”

Launchpad says, “What Darkwing Duck always does; get back up. You know, you could do this for real.”

‘Darkwing’ says, “What? Be a superhero? I mean… sure, I’m scrappy, I’m brave, I look great in a cape.”

I say, “Gizmoduck does it.”

‘Darkwing’ says, “I am better than Gizmoduck.”

I say, “That’s the spirit. I guess.”

Launchpad says, “It’s one thing to be a hero, and it’s another to actually be a hero. Do it for Jim.”

‘Darkwing’ says, “I don’t know… This whole thing sounds like it could get…”

Launchpad finishes, “Dangerous?”

‘Darkwing’ puts his hat back on, a smirk on his face.

Launchpad hands him his poster, saying, “You’ve already got one fan.”

I give him my poster as well, adding, “Make that two.”

He signs ‘Drake Mallard’ on our posters before giving them back, and Launchpad says, “‘Drake Mallard’. Never heard of ya.”

I add, “Neither have I, but I bet way more people are gonna know your name soon… Drake.”

Chapter 10: Chasing Mysteries

Chapter Text

After finishing all of the books I checked out from the library, I walk around the mansion trying to find something to do when I pass by Uncle Scrooge’s home office.

I walk in, curious what he was doing, and ask, “Whatcha doing?”

He jumps, startled, and nearly drops his tweezers onto his desk.

He replies, “Ack, ya startled me, lass. You must get that from your mother. I was just building a miniature Money Bin in this bottle here.”

I ask, “Why?”

He uses his tweezers to grab a small tree and places it carefully inside the clear bottle, responding, “Why not?”

I shrug, saying, “Fair enough.”

Just then, Dewey slams the door wide open, accidentally making Uncle Scrooge knock over the tree he just placed. Dewey’s holding a photograph with a look of excitement on his face. Dewey shows Uncle Scrooge and I the photo he’s holding, and it’s the one Mom drew what she thought my brothers would look like on the back of. The front of the photo, the side I’m less familiar with, shows Mom, Uncle Scrooge, and an unfamiliar duck standing in front of four eggs. This photo, however, has a fifth egg. It’s more yellow in appearance, though.

I ask, “What’s this?”

Dewey exclaims, “I’ve uncovered a conspiracy! Photographic evidence proves that there is a fifth quadruplet. A quintuplet, if you will. We must find Phooey Duck! By the way, I named him Phooey.”

Uncle Scrooge takes the photo from Dewey’s hands and examines it, then wipes away the yellow egg.

He says, “Uh, that fifth egg is a mustard stain.”

Dewey asks, “But who was eating a sandwich while looking at a photo album?” He gasps, adding, “Phooey strikes again!”

I say, “What? Now you’re just reaching. Besides, if there really was another egg, wouldn’t Mom know about it?”

Webby bursts in next, holding up a confusing web of pictures and lines.

She exclaims, “Who’s ready for the greatest family secret of all time? I was going through the family tree when I realized the branches correspond to geographical points of a map. This could lead to the Silver Sporran of Clan McDuck!”

Uncle Scrooge points to a suit of armor by the well, saying, “Found it years ago, thank you.”

I ask, “Why are you guys trying to find mysteries where there are none? And more importantly, can I join you? I’ve been bored all day.”

Dewey says, “Sure. You can join us. We’ve got to be able to make something out of this. Hold on, I can pull a mystery out of this. Mustard stain. Mustard is in the fridge. Family tree. What grows on trees? Peppers, I assume.” Uncle Scrooge shakes his head ‘no’, but Dewey continues, “But Beakley hasn’t bought peppers in years.”

Webby exclaims, “Ghost peppers!”

Dewey adds, “It’s all connected!”

Webby grabs my hand, adding, “Let’s go!”

Just before we leave the office, Uncle Scrooge calls out, “Hang on! An adventure has to call to you. Ya cannae just go around making up mysteries.”

Webby says, “We spent so much time on the mystery of the Spear of Selene. Now that Della and Clover are back, we’re hungry for a new epicly complex, multi-part family mystery to solve!”

Huey walks past in the hall as I open the door, saying, “Huh. My postcard to Uncle Donald was returned. That’s weird.”

Dewey, Webby, and I gasp.

Dewey asks, “You hear that, girls?”

Webby adds, “It’s the call to adventure!”

I add, “Let’s go solve a mystery!”

We invite him to my brothers’ room then rush off, where Dewey sets up what he calls his ‘internet talk show’ Dewey Dew-Night. Dewey and Webby are dressed as detectives, and I’m just in my normal green with a junior detective sticker badge. I darken the room for mood lighting and turn on a spotlight as he sits on the couch.

Huey asks, “Um, hello?”

Dewey says from his spot at his desk, “Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.”

Huey says in a confused tone, “You asked me to come here?”

Webby pops out and spooks Huey, then says in a low tone, “We know what we asked.”

Huey says, “Oh, I see. You guys are doing good cop/bad cop.”

Webby says, “We’re all bad cop.”

Dewey adds, “I prefer to be called Dew-tective.”

I add, “And we’re not leaving ‘til we have all the information we need.”

Webby holds up Huey’s returned postcard, and asks, “Hey, bub. This look familiar?”

Huey responds, “That’s the postcard I sent Uncle Donald. It was returned.”

Dewey says, “Uncle Donald loves sending cheesy vacation postcards. It’s the only reason he goes anywhere. Not only haven’t we received any cards from him on his vacation, but now the ones we’ve sent him are returned.”

Webby adds, “Almost as if he’s gone missing!

I add, “Tell us what you know, Hubert!”

Huey asks, “Why are you yelling at me?!”

Dewey says, “Chin up, kid. We’ll find out what happened to the postcard and your uncle.”

Huey says, “He’s your uncle too. He’s on a cruise. It’s hard to get mail to a boat. Mystery solved.”

Webby says, “We’ll be the judge of that.”

Dewey adds, “We’re on the case.”

Huey asks, “What case?!”

I respond, “The case of the mysterious returned postcard, duh. We’re off!”

We race off to the front door, leaving Huey in the room looking more confused than before. This is pretty fun, playing detective and hanging out with Dewey and Webby.

Dewey says while rubbing the postcard against his forehead, “To find out where the returned postcard has been, we must get inside the head of the postcard.”

I ask, “You mean like the head of the guy on the stamp?”

Dewey says, “Ha, my dear Clover, don’t be naive. We’re going to ship ourselves to the address the postcard was sent to, find out what went wrong there, find Uncle Donald, and solve the most epic mystery since the Spear of Selene. Woo hoo!”

I ask, “How are we going to ship ourselves?”

Dewey grabs a large box from inside, and says, “Like this, sister.”

The three of us hop inside the box and Dewey tapes the top of it up with a small slit through the top for us to see out of, and we start giggling as a mail lady walks up to the box and starts picking it up.

Webby whispers, “Shh, shh, she’s right there.”

Dewey adds, “She doesn’t suspect a thing.”

I add, “We’re going to a boat!”

We keep giggling until the box is lifted up, and the bottom opens, leaving us on the ground.

Webby asks, “Did you forget to tape the bottom of the box?”

Dewey stands up and accidentally knocks me onto my back as he says, “Yet another mystery we must solve, but first -” He turns to the mail lady, exclaiming, “What did you do to Donald Duck?!”

The mail lady responds, “Um, nothing.”

I say, “I don’t think the mail lady did anything to Donald. He’s probably just off relaxing on that cruise and forgot to write home.”

The mail lady asks, “Wait, wait. Donald Duck lives here? He never forwarded his address from the pier. I got a ton of his mail.”

She dumps a large pile of envelopes on top of Dewey and walks off.

Dewey digs through the mail, saying, “Gasp! Possible clues! Bill, bill, another bill. Man, being an adult is not fun.”

I say, “Huh. They’re all from the same address. Weird.”

Webby gasps, adding, “How mysterious.”

Dewey says, “Not for long.” He opens and reads one of the letters, “‘Your life is a nonstop deluge of pain. If you want it to stop, pay up. -Jones’.”

Webby asks, “Is your Uncle Donald being blackmailed?”

I say, “Sounds more like extortion to me.”

Dewey exclaims, “He’s not missing, he’s on the run! We’ve gotta save him before he’s stuck in a tight spot he can’t get out of.”

We navigate our way to the address, which is a run-down building on the other side of town, but the number on the building looks off.

Webby says, “this should be 9 Elm Street, not 93 Elm Street.” Bugs that were spelling out the letter 3 skitter away, and she adds, “Ooh, seedy!”

Dewey scoots away from me as I pick up one of the bugs, examining it. It looks like some kind of caterpillar. Fascinating little thing. I rub its head, surprised at how fluffy it feels.

I release the caterpillar, and Dewey says, “Ugh. Uncle Donald must be hiding from this Jones guy that lives here.”

The three of us duck into a bush as a dog man, probably Jones, enters the building after fiddling with a key ring for the correct one.

After he’s out of earshot, Dewey says, “Here’s the plan. I’ll use my spy skills to find more info on Uncle Donald while you distract Jones at the front door pretending to be -”

Webby interrupts him and grabs out a locket shaped like half of a broken heart while saying, “Alexa Pretzelkov, a volunteer collecting signatures to stop a greedy land developer from shutting down the summer camp while also looking for the missing half of this locket!”

I say, “That’s too complicated of a backstory, but now I’m curious. Where is the other half?”

Webby shrugs, and Dewey says, “Ah, I already stole Huey’s Junior Woodchuck outfit. Maybe this time, you could pretend to sell cookies?”

Webby groans, but relents, “Fine, but if that summer camp shuts down, it’s on you.”

I ask, “What about me? What am I gonna do?”

Dewey responds, “I need an extra hand Looking around Jones’s office. It’ll be easier to find evidence with two pairs of hands than one.”

I nod, and Dewey and I split off from Webby as she gets changed into the Junior Woodchuck outfit over her clothes. We sneak around the back door, and sneak inside an open window when we spot him headed for the front door for his distraction.

As we look around, Dewey sings quietly, “Dew Dew Dewey Dewey -” He stops singing, saying, “No wait, wait. Don’t want to blow my cover.” He then continues quietly saying, “Not not Dewey Dewey, definitely not Dewey Dew -”

I put a finger to his bill to stop him, whispering, “Just shush, Dew-tective. We’re supposed to be quiet, remember?”

He rolls his eyes, and we start looking around. After a few minutes of searching with no results, Webby enters the room and Dewey nearly falls over in surprise.

He says, “Ah! Never sneak up on a kid detective/spy like that. I could’ve injured/killed you.” Webby and I send matching deadpanned expressions at him, and he nervously adds, “Yeah, I- I know.”

I ask, “Where’s Jones?”

Webby responds, “I got him searching his drawers for half of a missing locket.”


I ask, “Wait, really?”

Webby responds, “Yeah. My backstory was that good.”

I find a small key on Jones’s desk and successfully open a drawer of the file cabinet next to his desk with the key. I search through the drawer and find something peculiar.

I say, “Guys, look at this. I found a huge file on Donald in here.”

I open it and we look through it together, Webby saying, “Whoa. This file has dates, locations, and names of every bad thing that’s ever happened to Donald.”

I add, “Everything from a bad date to when Mom and I got launched in the Spear into space.”

Dewey adds, “Every setback and problem in Uncle Donald’s life. Has Jones caused it all?”

We hear a deep, gravely voice behind us, and we turn around to see Jones. Crap.

He says, “Uncle Donald? You’re part of this, too! And I know just who to call to take care of it.”

He locks us in a closet, and I start feeling claustrophobic, remembering the small rooms on the Spear of Selene. I unconsciously start chewing my cheek for comfort, and frantically banging against the locked door. I’m not on the moon, I know that! So why do I feel like I am? And why do I feel so scared of it? The moon wasn’t so bad, but the Spear was just… so small. Way too small. Like this closet. It feels like I’m being suffocated, like the walls are slowly closing in toward me. I start feeling tears form in the corners of my eyes as I bang harder on the door.

I exclaim, “Let us out! Please! You can’t keep us in here!”

Dewey pulls me away from the door, saying, “Clover, calm down! Just take a deep breath. We’ll find out what’s going on and get out of here soon. I promise. You’re okay.”

I lean against the wall and slide to the floor, trying to take deep breaths as the tears start falling down my cheeks. I never realized just how comfortable I’ve gotten in the large open rooms of the mansion or how miserable it was on the moon with just Mom for company. After around a half hour, I’ve calmed down a bit as Dewey sits next to me, holding my hand for comfort. I’m still sniffling and curled into myself, but I’m not crying anymore.

Webby asks, “Who is Jones working for? The Beagle Boys? FOWL? Oh, I bet it’s those greedy land developers trying to ruin everyone’s summer!”

The door opens, revealing Uncle Scrooge.

Dewey, Webby, and I gasp, and Webby asks, “Uncle Scrooge? You’re in on it, too?!”

Dewey exclaims, “Give Alexa back her locket, old man!”

Uncle Scrooge says, “Old man? Now you owe Mr. Jones and me an apology.”

Dewey says, “Not until Jones explains why he’s been blackmailing Uncle Donald and ruining his life.”

Uncle Scrooge says, “Jones isn’t Donald’s enemy! He’s Donald’s anger management counselor.”

We step out of the closet, and Uncle Scrooge wipes dust off of the closet’s window, revealing an anger management sign.

Dewey continues holding my hand as Jones explains, “Each of these dates corresponds to a hard time in Donald’s life. To cope, he came here to vent his frustration.”

He gestures to a ripped-up punching bag and scattered destroyed furniture. He must have what Mom called ‘the Duck family anger’. Mom had it, too.

I ask, “But what about that letter? ‘Donald, your life is a nonstop deluge of pain. If you want it to stop, pay up. -Jones’?”

Jones grabs another letter out of the envelope, exclaiming, “It’s attached to a bill. Anger management’s not free!”

Dewey says, “No. If Uncle Donald was seeing you, then why is he still the angriest guy we know?”

I add, “And why’s all this furniture so beat up?”

Webby adds, “Yeah, what have you done to help him?”

Jones explains, “I found the source of his anger. Donald’s anger issues stem from a fear that the world is out to get him, and that no one understands him quite literally. His tendency to lash out was wildly unfocused, until you kids came along.”

I ask, “Huh? What do my brothers have to do with it?”

Jones continues, “He came to me wanting to be the best parent he could, so we channeled that anger into protective instincts. Every outburst is Donald wanting to protect his family. He loves you so much, the thought of anything bad happening to you infuriates him!”

Wow. Even though I’ve never met him, I feel like he must have been an amazing parent to my brothers growing up.

We exit the building with Uncle Scrooge, who exclaims to Jones, “If you want someone to pay Donald’s bills, you can speak to that invoice-avoiding ingrate yourself!”

Webby says, “You were right, Uncle Scrooge. We shouldn’t have gone looking for a mystery where there wasn’t one.”

I add, “Well, it was fun while it lasted. Except for being locked in a small closet and discovering a new fear.”

Dewey says, “But we did find a mystery, dear Webby. The mystery of why Donald Duck is mad at the world; because he loves us.”

I say, “But we still don’t know why Huey’s postcard to Donald was returned in the first place.”

Uncle Scrooge gets a call on his phone and answers it, but I can’t make out anything other than a few words from a garbled voice.

Uncle Scrooge flips his phone shut, saying, “This reception’s terrible. Sounds like he’s coming home in a month. He seems to be having a great time.”

Something passes overhead, but I can’t quite make out what it is through the thick clouds. I wish I got to meet my uncle. Maybe someday when he gets back from his cruise.

Chapter 11: Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake

Chapter Text

I wake up to hear someone talking in a hushed voice across the hall and decide to investigate. I sneak across the hall silently and peek inside my brothers’ room to find Louie talking to someone on the phone.

The second he hangs up the call, I ask, “Who were you talking to?”

Louie jumps, saying in a nervous voice, “Uh, nobody you know!”

I raise an eyebrow in suspicion and curiosity, and Louie sighs, admitting, “Ok, fine. I was calling someone so she can teach me to be a better businessman.”

I keep my eyebrow raised for a moment, then smile, saying, “Alright, cool. Can I join you? She must be smart if she’s gone into business for herself.”

Louie rolls his eyes, saying, “Fine. Just this one time.”

I shrug, following him to Uncle Scrooge’s office where he said the lady, Goldie, would meet him. She eventually arrives, and she sits down in Uncle Scrooge’s office chair and turns it around before telling us to hide. She said Scrooge’ll be back soon and she wants to surprise him. I guess they know each other somehow.

After a few minutes of waiting, we hear Uncle Scrooge’s voice in the hall, “I’ve checked the whole blasted mansion. What can it be?”

Goldie tosses one of Uncle Scrooge’s coins in the air when he enters the room, then turns the chair around, calmly greeting him, “Morning, Scroogey.”

Uncle Scrooge exclaims, “Goldie?! What’re you doing here?!”

Louie and I come out from behind the window curtains, and Louie says, “She’s with me.”

I add, “And I’m just here to hang out with Louie.”

We walk into the hallway, and Uncle Scrooge angrily exclaims, “Why?! How?! Why?!”

Louie responds, “Your whole ‘work really hard, make money square’ thing doesn’t really work for me. Goldie’s ‘make money easy with no downsides’ works much better with the Louie Incorporated brand.”

I mutter, “What the heck’s Louie Incorporated?”

Goldie reaches for something on a shelf, and Uncle Scrooge shoves her hand away, saying, “Hands off, you common thief.”

She instead sneaks a hand into Uncle Scrooge’s pocket and nabs a few coins, holding them in her open palm.

Uncle Scrooge snatches the coins back, adding, “Don’t let her get too close, kids.”

Louie leads Goldie and I back toward his room, stating, “Oh, please. I’m a professional! I can handle this.”

The second we get to Louie’s room, Goldie jumps us, locking Louie in an empty treasure chest and tying me to a chair. Mom taught me how to escape capture when I was much younger, so I could easily get out of this, but I’m honestly curious what Goldie’s up to as I watch her grab little trinkets from Louie’s desk.

Louie exclaims from inside the chest, “How did this go so wrong so quickly?!”

I say, “I don’t know, you’re the one who invited her. I’m just kinda here for the chaos now.”

Goldie grabs a large golden idol from Louie’s desk and puts it in her purse, saying, “Rule number one, kids; if you want to pick a pocket, you’ve gotta get close.” She steps on a creaky floorboard and kicks the rug off of it, opening the floorboard to investigate as she adds, “Better luck next time, rookies.”

Louie takes offense to that, exclaiming, “Rookie?! I’ll have you know I am the evil quadruplet, okay?”

Goldie mocks as she roots through his wastebin, “Sure, you’re the scariest bunny in the pet shop. Let me guess, you see all the angles? You’re sharper than the sharpies? Didn’t see this angle, Sharpie.”

I add, “I kinda gotta agree with her on this one, Louie. Sorry.”

I then hear Louie start crying inside the treasure chest, saying, “Louie Incorporated is my dream, but no one believes that I can do it. I- I know I’ll never be able to work harder than Scrooge, but I- I thought maybe I could learn to be clever like you, my- my hero.”

What is this baloney? That is so fake.

Goldie sits on top of the chest, saying, “Not bad. Was that a Crocodile Waterworks?”

Louie drops the fake sadness, responding, “The Hero’s Guilttrip mixed with a Lone Wolf Gambit.”

I look on in confusion as Goldie says, “You know your cons, but your sister sure doesn’t seem to.”

I ask while Goldie reads a golden slip of paper she found in Louie’s wastebin, “What the heck are these names? Some kind of codeword?”

Goldie responds, “Kinda. Not like a straight-arrow like yourself would know, Rook.”

I ask, “What does that even mean?”

She then smirks and opens the treasure chest Louie’s in.

He pops out, asking, “So you’ll teach me?”

Goldie responds, holding up the golden slip of paper to him, “Only if you can get me in here.”

Louie looks fearful, and shuts himself back inside the treasure chest, exclaiming, “No! No way! Not Doofus Drake’s birthday!”

I quickly untie myself, and snatch the card out of Goldie’s hand to read it. The card reads, ‘Doofus Drake’s septleventh birth anniversary. Join the obscenely rich and the richly obscene. This invitation is to Llewellyn Duck, his parent or guardian, and any siblings that wish to join him’.

Goldie looks surprised at how fast I freed myself and asks, “How did you do that?”

I shrug, responding, “Mom taught me how to do that. She said we’d probably run into some Beagle Boys or somebody that’d want to capture us, so she taught me how to get out of ropes.”

Goldie asks, “Well, then, why didn't you do that before?”

I respond, “Like I said, I’m kinda just here for the chaos right now and to hang out with my brother.”

Goldie says, “Y’know, I’ve been meaning to ask about that. When I met your brothers last year, I didn’t see you there at all and nobody mentioned you.”

I respond, “Oh, I was still on the moon with my mom last year. We didn’t get back to Earth until a couple months ago.” Goldie raises an eyebrow like she didn’t believe me, and I add, “I actually grew up there. Mom took a rocket Uncle Scrooge built on a test drive over a decade ago not knowing my egg was on board and we crash-landed, stranded there until we finally met some kind Moonlanders who helped us fix up our ship and get home.”

Goldie shrugs, saying, “I don’t buy that for a second, but I guess anything’s possible with the McDuck family.” She knocks on the treasure chest and says, “Come on, Llewellyn. If you want to learn from me, you’ll have to get me into that party.”

Louie reluctantly comes out of the treasure chest, and agrees to go. We all get dressed up in nice clothes, and Louie lets me borrow one of his suits since I don’t really have any formalwear.

Clover in a suit

Goldie and I follow behind Louie to get to Doofus’s house and we go up an elevator to where the party’s being held. The elevator doors open and there are a lot of Beagle Boys among the guests in odd outfits.

There’s also a blonde-haired bird man dressed in a purple suit and holding a cane like Uncle Scrooge, Mark Beaks is taking a selfie with a small parrot boy on his back, a duck woman carrying a tray of drinks, Glomgold talking to a hand-puppet that looks like a teenage version of him, and Johnny from Louie’s favorite show is dressed like a child and licking a lollipop next to the guy dressed in purple.

Louie tries to hide in the elevator, but Goldie shoves him forward. A Beagle Boy pulls a plank of wood out of his mouth, a sign behind him by a large tub of water reading ‘bobbing for splinters’.

Louie gestures at a cake and reads what’s written on top in icing, “‘Not full of hair’? The fact he has to say it…” He then gasps at the sight of the party favor table, exclaiming, “There’s got to be-”

Goldie says in unison with him, “457 million dollars and seventeen cents-”

Louie finishes on his own,”Worth of stuff here!”

I ask, “How do you know that just from a cursory glance at it?”

Louie shrugs, saying, “Hey, you know nerd stuff like Huey, and I know how much things are worth.”

Louie attempts to take a party favor bag, but his hand is smacked away by the duck woman.

She says, “Gift bags for guests as they depart, full of priceless heirlooms from Doofus’s beloved Guhmeemama Frances.”

She and a duck man chant creepily, “Guhmeemama.”

A gong rings, and the duck man says, “The hour is at hand.”

I mutter sarcastically, “Ugh, that’s not creepy at all.”

Louie says to me, “Yeah, and those are Doofus’s parents. Great party, can’t wait to tell my therapist about it when I’m older!”

He grabs two bags and shoves them at me before grabbing two more and grabbing my wrist, tugging me with him to the elevator.

He adds, “Bye!”

Goldie stops us and brings the bags back to the table, saying, “Nope.”

I ask, “Why not? I’m already creeped out, so I’m all for just leaving now.”

Louie adds, “Pretend to be family, bolt with the gift bags. That’s the con!”

He reaches for the bags again, but Goldie smacks his hand away, saying, “No, that’s just being a bad party guest. Besides, we’re not common thieves, we’re con artists, not including your sister. And we’re getting all the bags.”

Louie asks, “And how are we supposed to do that?”

Goldie responds, “If I told you the whole plan upfront, you’d never learn anything. Also, I don’t know yet.”

I ask, “What, so you’re just gonna make it up on the spot?”

Goldie shrugs, saying, “Yeah, pretty much. It’s how plenty of great cons go, Rook.”

Doofus’s dad announces, a giant seashell rising in the pool while Doofus’s mom plays a harp, “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you perfection. I give you grace. I give you the universe’s perfect widdle angel, Doofus Drake.”

The seashell opens, but is empty, and a creepy voice behind us says, “Hello, Llewelyn.”

Louie turns around and screams in fear, then covers in a fake congratulatory voice, “I mean, happy birthday!”

So this creepy kid must be Doofus. Great. I don’t really want to spend who knows how long interacting with him, but if that’s what it takes to finally hang out with Louie, then I’ll do it.

Doofus says, “It warms my heart to see all my wonderful friends and your loving parents.” He nearly knocks Louie and I into the pool, but Goldie grabs our hands and helps us from falling in as Doofus continues, “It reminds me of my dear departed Guhmeemama…”

His parents chant, “Guhmeemama.”

Doofus adds, “The only parent I’ve ever known.”

Doofus’s dad asks, “Why does he hurt me?”

Doofus’s mom responds in a hurtful tone, “You know why.”

What the heck is wrong with this weird family? I mean, obviously a lot.

Doofus exclaims angrily, “Unfortunately, there are filthy liars in our midst only after my gift bags!”

Louie tries to hide behind Goldie and I try to leave, but Goldie moves aside so Louie isn’t able to hide and grabs my wrist to prevent me from leaving.

Doofus walks up to the guy in a purple suit, exclaiming, “Percival P. Peppington!”

He starts sniffing the man all over, and I ask, “What… in the world… is he doing?”

Louie whisper-shouts in response, “He can smell lies!”

I mutter, “Oh, boy. Well, we’re done for.”

Goldie says, “Not quite yet. Just do as I say and we’ll be fine.”

Doofus says, “Percival, you disappoint me. If you’re going to hire an actor to pretend to be your son, at least hire a child actor!”

Johnny exclaims, “Hey, I’ve got range!”

Percival nervously says, “This is some mix-up. I must have left my real son in the car. I’ll go get him!”

He jumps back in shock as Doofus somehow appears in front of him, asking, “Would you like to see my honey bin?”

Percival asks, “Don’t you mean money bin?”

Doofus responds, “No.”

He pressed a button and a trapdoor beneath Percivall opens, making him drop down, and Johnny is blasted into the air by a spring underneath him.

Doofus yells, “So many liars!”

He ejects all of the Beagle Boys through trap doors below them, and Louie exclaims, “Oh, man! Everyone was pulling the same con as us!”

Goldie says, “And we’re the last ones standing.”

I say, “Not exactly…”

I gesture over to the few other remaining guests, Glomgold and his puppet, and Mark Beaks with his kid. I didn’t even know he had a kid.

Glomgold says to his puppet, “Sharkbomb, my boy, meet Doofus!” He then says in falsetto, “Get off my back, Dad!”

Doofus stares ‘Sharkbomb’ down suspiciously before saying, “Your blank stare is soothing.”

He hugs ‘Sharkbomb’ and Glomgold struggles to get his hand away from Doofus. Understandable. I wouldn’t want to be that close to him either.

Goldie says, “That’s an awful lot of competition. Maybe you should keep your distance, Sharpie, Rook.”

I say, “Nuh uh. The closer we appear to be, the easier it’ll be to trick him, right?”

Louie nods, exclaiming, “This is perfect! We expose the others as phonies to gain Doofus’s trust, then get out of here with their leftover bags before we’re exposed!”

Goldie thinks for a moment, then says, “Ambitious, dangerously overconfident… Let’s do it!”

We make our way over to Beaks, but I hide just behind Louie, not wanting to interact with the man that tried to kill me last month.

Louie says, “Mark Beaks! Meet my little sister Clover-”

I mutter angrily, “We’ve already met.”

Louie says, “And my grandma- Ow!” Goldie smacks the back of Louie’s head, and he corrects, “Super young Aunt Goldie, and, uh… Wait, since when do you have a kid?”

Beaks responds, “Since I realized how many likes family pics get online. Selfie burst!”

He takes multiple selfies with his kid with us in the background, blinding us from the flash as he makes scatting noises.

Beaks’s kid gets right up in Louie’s face, exclaiming, “Hi! I’m Boyd!”

Louie mutters, “Sure you are.”

Beaks says casually, “Yeah, I love this… what was it? Son! Anyways, look at all the cool stuff we did yesterday!”

He shows us pictures of himself and Boyd at a punk-rock concert, hanging out at Lester Possum Park, at the Duckburg Aquarium in silly hats, and near mountains with Boyd flying a kite. Boyd seems to be in the exact same pose in all of the pictures. That’s kinda odd, isn’t it?

Doofus says, “Aw, family memories.”

He goes over and starts kissing and caressing an image of his grandma riding on a centaur in the forest, which is tattooed on his dad’s stomach. Glomgold covers Sharkbomb’s eyes and Doofus’s dad cringes. I don’t blame him. His kid must’ve made him tattoo that… thing on his stomach.

After he covers up the tattoo again, Glomgold says, “Aye, what loving parent wouldn’t keep a picture of his kin handy?”

He pulls out a wallet that shows pictures of himself and Sharkbomb in different costumes.

Beaks approaches Goldie, saying with air quotes, “Goldie, was it? You must have pics of your ‘nephew’ and ‘niece’.”

Louie and I sneak off to the photobooth and take a few pictures while Goldie stalls, “Uh, of course I do! They’re right here in my purse… The question is which one, because I love them so much.”

Louie and I exit the photo booth and Louie hugs her to distract the others while I slip the photos into Goldie’s purse.

She says, “How can I choose just one, so… I have four! Look at that roguish twinkle in his eye and the sweet smile on her face.”

She shows them one of the photos, where we both have strained smiles on our faces, our arms over each other’s shoulders. I think that’s the first time Louie’s willingly touched me other than the hug he gave Mom and I when we first met.

Doofus smiles, saying, “That’s nice.”

He claps his hands twice and his parents pull off his suit to reveal a bathing suit underneath.

Doofus exclaims, “Pool time!”

His parents lift him up and walk him into the pool, his legs dragging on the floor underneath him.

Goldie says, “Not bad, kids. Now we go on the offense. Tell me, who’s our first mark?”

Glomgold says to his puppet, “Sharkbomb, get in the pool, ya wee whippersnapper!” He then responds to himself in falsetto, “Don’t tell me what to do, old man!” He then angrily says to his puppet, “Old man?! Can an old man do this?!”

He tries to do a kickflip on a scooter and fails miserably.

Louie says, “Him.”

Goldie adds, “Definitely him.”

I add, “Who else?”

We get changed into swimsuits that Doofus provided us, and I just sit by the pool, my legs pulled up over my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs, and my chin resting on my knees. I’ve never been in a swimsuit before, but it just feels so revealing. Is it normal to feel like this? To feel like an outsider in your own body?

I decided not to go swimming since I’ve never swam before and don’t want to drown, but I imagine it might be a bit like being on the moon. Earth’s gravity is actually quite comforting to me in a way, and helps me feel more grounded, but I still just feel so uncomfortable right now. I try to distract myself from these uncomfortable feelings by watching Goldie and Louie try to trick Glomgold.

Louie sits in an inflatable chair and floats over to Glomgold saying, “Hey Flintheart, can I talk to Sharkbomb in private for a second?”

Glomgold nervously responds, “Oh, uh… certainly…”

He takes a large breath and dives under the water, and Louie asks, “Sharkbomb, can I tell you a secret?” I chuckle as Sharkbomb makes gurgling noises since Glomgold is underwater, and Louie exclaims, “Great! I think my aunt has the hots for your dad.”

Glomgold resurfaces quickly and splashes me by accident, exclaiming excitedly, “She does?!” Goldie takes off her glasses and looks at Glomgold, and he adds, “I mean…” He then flips into falsetto, exclaiming, “As if! Ew! Barfaroma!” Glomgold angrily says to the puppet, “You’re making me look like a fool!” He then says to himself in falsetto, “You don’t need my help, geezer!”

Glomgold smacks himself with Sharkbomb, both of them diving under the water. They wrestle before jumping onto the deck where Glomgold tears Sharkbomb’s head off. He freezes as everyone stares, and he licks Sharkbomb’s head and puts it on backwards. He grins nervously, giving an awkward thumbs-up. Doofus gives him a thumbs-down and Glomgold falls through a trapdoor, holding on only by Sharkbomb.

Glomgold exclaims, “Don’t let go, Sharkbomb!” He then flips into falsetto, yelling at himself as he lets go, “Don’t tell me what to do!”

I ask, “What in the world just happened?”

Goldie responds to me, “He took himself out!” She then exclaims to Louie, “Oh, pretty sharp, Sharpie!” She gently bumps his chin with her fist, adding, “You’re a natural!”

I say, “Well, we’re one step closer to getting out of here, right?”

Louie nods, adding, “Those gift bags are as good as-”

Boyd and Beaks push Louie and Goldie out of the pool and splash me again. I stand up and storm off back to one of the changing rooms to dry off with a towel and get changed back into my suit. I feel much more comfortable now that I’ve got actual clothes on. I exit the changing room and everyone else soon changes as well other than Boyd, who never got changed out of his tan dress shirt, slightly darker tan shorts, and red bowtie.

We all gather around him playing a pinball machine titled ‘Doofus’s Destruction’, and he says, “It’s like the machine speaks to me. Is that strange?”

I shrug, and Goldie pulls Louie and I aside, asking my brother, “What dirt have you dug up on Boyd?”

Louie responds, “I got nothing! He’s friendly, he’s freakishly strong, and he gets along weirdly well with Doofus.”

I look over and see Doofus petting Boyd’s head like he’s a pet and I grimace. At least that’s not me, and Boyd seems weirdly okay with it.

Goldie says, “There’s gotta be some weak spot… something in their history?”

Louie pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through Beaks’s pictures, and he says, “All I’ve found are hundreds of photos of them being perfect together!”

I add, “And Boyd is in the exact same position and pose in all of them. That’s weird, isn’t it?”

Louie’s eyebrows furrow, saying, “Yeah… Wait, where are the baby pictures? Beaks would never pass up that sweet clickbait!”

Goldie asks, “Click-what now?”

I shrug, and something pops up on Louie’s screen.

He clicks on it, asking, “What’s this weird Wifi network? ‘Beaks Optimistic Youth Droid’?”

Goldie’s eyes widen, and she says, “Oh! B.O.Y.D. Boyd!”

The three of us say in unison, “He’s a robot!”

Goldie asks, “How are we supposed to trip up a boy-bot who’s programmed to be perfect?”

Louie explains, “Get close, don’t get caught. Do you know how many evil robots I’ve faced?!” He laughs, then has a serious expression on his face as he adds, “Too many.”

I say, “I’ve only fought one so far, but I thought it was pretty fun!”

Louie walks over to Boyd, saying, “Wow, Boyd! You said you’ve only been playing since yesterday?”

Boyd responds, “Yes! Daddy took me to Funzo’s and we played all the games, and then had ice cream and flew kites!”

Louie laughs, saying, “Big day!”

I ask, “What did you do before yesterday?”

Boyd laughs awkwardly, responding, “I can’t seem to remember…” He twitches and sparks, exclaiming, “Why can’t I remember?!”

Beaks responds, “I dunno, sport. Uh, maybe it was all that ice cream, huh?”

Boyd sparks again, and Doofus asks, “What’s wrong with my friend? Is it something my butler did?”

He glares at his dad, who fearfully drops the presents he was carrying and jumps over the side of the tree-house platform.

Louie says, “I think he’s a little over-stimulated.” He then turns to Boyd, adding, “We’ll have to remember that for your birthday.”

I smirk at Louie, asking Boyd, “Hey, speaking of which, when’s your birthday, again?”

Boyd responds, “Yesterday! Wait-” He sparks and his eyes go technicolor as he adds, “That’s not right!”

Beaks exclaims, “No, no, no! Do not peer behind the curtain of reality, bud!”

Boyd tosses the pinball machine over the side, and lasers start firing from his eyes.

He exclaims, “Does not compute! Compute?! No! I am not a computer!”

The lasers nearly hit Doofus’s dad, who has just come back up via the elevator, and he hits the button to go back down, his eye twitching. Boyd tosses the ‘Not Full of Hair’ cake onto Doofus’s mom and reveals that it was stuffed full of hair.

Boyd shouts, “I am definitely a real boy!”

He comes to a stop in front of the pool and I watch in horror as his eyes melt. His eyes go dead and he falls into the water.

Louie shares my look of horror at what we just witnessed, but Beaks simply sighs, saying, “Oh, man. Gonna need, like, a real big bag of rice.”

Doofus yells, “My party!” He makes Beaks fall through a trapdoor and takes his phone, yelling, “No! No, no, no, no!”

Louie still looks horrified, but Goldie picks us up and swings the both of us around, exclaiming, “Sharpie! Rook! You conned that boy-bot right out of sentience! Maybe the three of us should team up on a more permanent basis.”

Louie asks, “Really? Y- You mean it?”

Goldie says, “This looks like the beginning of a fruitful partnership.”

She sets us down and shakes mine and Louie’s hands.

Doofus exclaims, “I swore after last year, no one’s eyes would melt out of their heads!”

I mutter, “This has happened more than once?”

Doofus yells angrily, “Who is responsible for this?!”

Louie says, “Uh oh, we ran out of chumps to-”

Goldie points to Louie and I, saying, “They did it.”

Louie and I exclaim in unison, “What?!”

Goldie says in a fake scolding tone, “Llewelyn and Clover Duck, I am so disappointed. Ruining poor Doofus’s party. Trying to take the extra bags for yourselves. Who raised you?”

Louie exclaims, “Not you, lady!”

I add, “You’re not even our aunt! You’re a frau-”

Goldie clamps our beaks shut, saying calmly, “Children can be so cruel.”

Doofus’s mom says quietly, gesturing to herself and her husband who has finally returned for good this time, “Doofus makes us share a fork.”

Goldie lets go of our beaks, demanding, “You two, march home right this instant! And to teach you both a lesson, I’m going to take your gift bags and donate them to charity.”

She leans down and whispers, “It’s me. The charity is me.”

I groan, “Oh, come on!”

Louie asks, “What happened to working together?”

Goldie quietly says with a smirk, “Sorry Sharpie, Rook. I only work for myself.” She then loudly says, “I want you gone, kids.”

Doofus says creepily, “That can be arranged.”

Doofus uses Beaks’s phone to reactivate Boyd, who emerges from the pool.

He says in an angry voice, “Hi, I’m Boyd, a definitely real boy, and I’m going to destroy you!”

He chases us around, and Louie yells, “Ah, help! You’re a real boy! You’re a sweet, kind, real boy, I swear!”

I add, “This isn’t you, Boyd! Snap out of it!”

Goldie exclaims as Doofus makes Boyd tie up Louie and I and hang us like a pinata, “What are you doing?!”

Doofus responds, creepily calm, “It’s pinata time. I’m the world champion. But I’ve never hunted the most dangerous pinata; man.”

Boyd grabs a wooden bat and starts spinning around much faster than a non-robot could, and I faint, hanging limply in the rope next to Louie. I wake up a few minutes later upon impact with the ground outside the treehouse, surrounded by the gift bags and Louie cheering.

He cheers, “I did it! I’m a millionaire! Wahoo! Who’s the sharpie now, Goldie? I’m out here, rich, and you’re in there… suffering who knows what unspeakable horrors… after you turned on me! Saved my life… which is probably part of her big con somehow!”

He gathers up the gift bags into a large sack, and I ask groggily, “Ugh, what happened?”

Louie frowns, responding, “She broke her own rules. She got too close, and she got caught. She’s on her own.”

I ask, “But how did we get out?”

Louie responds, “She… she begged him to stop and he took her as his new ‘Goldiemama’. Look, we’ve gotta go back home and leave this horror house.”

I say, “But if she saved us, we’ve gotta save her, right?”

Louie’s face softens, saying, “You know what? You’re right. Let’s go save Goldie.”

We run back to Doofus’s house, finally finding the right room as we burst the door open, finding Goldie locked inside a glass cage and sitting on a recliner with a frustrated look on her face.

Louie drops the sack of money on the ground, growling, “Party’s over, Doofus.”

I add, “Give us our aunt back.”

Doofus yells, “She’s mine, you hear?!”

I exclaim, “You can’t just keep her trapped in there like a collectible figurine!”

Doofus orders, “Minions!”

His parents correct, “Parents.”

Doofus ignores them, adding, “Attack!”

Suddenly, Boyd falls through the ceiling, using his laser eyes to cut a hole in the glass case imprisoning Goldie.

Doofus asks, “But how?”

Louie holds up Beaks’s phone, saying, “Guess what you dropped in the gift bags? See, I don’t think you need a Guhmeemama-”

Doofus’s parents chant, “Guhmeemama…”

I hiss, “Quit it! That’s really creepy!”

Louie continues, “I think you need someone your own age to get close to. Happy birthday, Doofus. I got you a new baby brother. He’s only a day old.”

He types something on Beaks’s phone, and I notice a shift in Boyd.

He walks up to Doofus’s parents, innocently asking, “Mommy? Daddy?”

Doofus’s parent kneel, his mom, saying, “Come here, son.”

They hug, and Doofus whines, “No! No, you obey me! I’ll cut off your money!”

Boyd says, “Don’t worry. I’ll transfer half of Guhmeemama’s money out of Doofus’s account and into mine! After all, she was my Guhmeemama, too.”

Doofus exclaims, “What? No, she was my Guhmeemama!” He whispers, “My Guhmeemama, mine.” He growls, “You sentimental toaster!”

Doofus’s mom scolds, “Don’t you speak to your brother that way. You’re grounded, indefinitely.”

Doofus exclaims, “He’s not even my brother!”

I say, “He is now. Better get used to it.”

Doofus’s dad says softly, “I’m free.”

Doofus yells, “I’ll get you for this, Llewellyn and Clover Duck!”

Louie says, putting his arm over my shoulder, “Oh, give it time. If you get close enough to someone, they start to feel like family, right Goldie?” We look around, and finally notice she’s gone, along with- “The gift bags!”

We head back to the mansion penniless, but Louie holds my hand on the way home, even though he’s still mad at Goldie. I’m glad I got to hang out with him today. I feel like it’s really brought us closer already.

When we get home, he plops himself down at the bottom of the steps, exclaiming, “I got in too deep! We had the money! I was in the clear! Why did I let you convince me to go back?!”

Uncle Scrooge walks down the stairs to us, asking, “Crocodile’s Waterworks?”

I shake my head, sighing, “Goldie.”

Uncle Scrooge says, “I’d say you get used to it, but that would be a lie.”

Louie says, “I thought I’d found someone who really got me. We had a connection!”

Uncle Scrooge says gently, “When you spend all your time looking for an angle, it’s hard to see what’s in front of your face, and that doesn’t make her too sharp, eh kids?”

I ask, “But why did she save us?”

Uncle Scrooge responds, “Maybe she let you two get close, too.”

I slightly smile, looking at my brother as I say, “I’m glad you let me get close today.”

Louie smiles back, saying, “Me, too.”

Chapter 12: A Nightmare on Kilmotor Hill

Chapter Text

A/N: Here comes a big reveal! I know it hasn’t really had any hints toward it, but I’ve been wanting this to happen so much. If you know me on Discord or on Tumblr, you know that I’ve been waiting for the moment I could write this chapter and reveal this. I hope you enjoy it!

I’m at my second sleepover with my brothers, Webby, Violet, and Lena, and my brothers are throwing darts at Webby’s conspiracy board, gaining points for hitting rivals and losing points for hitting allies.

Huey hits Magica’s picture, exclaiming, “Twenty points!”

Dewey hits Lena’s picture, exclaiming, “Yeah! I mean, whoops. I’m sorry, Lena.”

Lena shrugs it off, saying, “Oh, it’s fine.”

Louie says, “Minus five points because Lena’s a good guy now.”

My brothers and I cheer, “Yeah! Woohoo!”

Webby exclaims, “Minus a million because she’s the best guy now!”

Lena smiles, saying, “Thanks for helping me set this up.”

Webby says, “Of course! We’ve got everything needed for a sleepover; sleeping bags, board games, snacks-”

Violet adds, “Self-defense weapons, all manner of booby trap-”

Webby finishes, “And a bodyguard at the door. Nothing weird is going to happen at this slumber party.”

I add, “Even though I kinda like magic stuff, it’d be nice to have a normal hangout without anyone swearing vengeance.”

Lena says while revealing a cake of her hugging all of us, “Yup, just a totally normal friend-aversary celebration! Webby, we met one year ago today. I think. Time loses all meaning in the infinite night of the Shadow Realm.” She then sings, “Oh, happy friend-aversary, If I didn’t have you it’d be worse for me. I’m made of shadows, you’re made of flesh, whoever thought that we would mesh.”

Webby tearfully says, “You are a wordsmith.”

We all clap for her, and Lena yawns, shaking her head.

Webby says, “Aw, you can’t be tired yet!”

Lena says, “Sorry, I just stayed up all night… making friendship bracelets!”

She nervously laughs, and hands out color-coded bracelets for each of us. Huey has one with shades of red, Louie with green, me with cyan, Dewey with blue, Violet with purple, and Webby gets one that matches almost exactly with Lena’s bracelet. I ship it.

I say, “Thanks, Lena! I love it!”

Louie asks suspiciously, “Is this a prank or something? Why are you being so nice?”

Lena slurs a bit from being so tired, saying, “Pfft. Can’t I do something nice for my friends? Not everything I say is sarcastic and mean.”

Huey says, “You literally sound like that now.”

Lena exclaims, candles igniting explosively behind her, “That’s just my voice! I can’t help it!”

Violet says in her usual monotone voice, “I’ve found it’s clearer to convey no emotion whatsoever.”

I say, “Lena, what’s wrong? You can tell me. I promise I won’t judge.”

Lena says, “Listen, I’m new to this whole good guy thing, and I just want to get it right.”

Webby blows out the candle on the cake, saying, “Lena, you’re the living shadow of Magica DeSpell, Scrooge’s greatest enemy, and you still turned out good! That makes you extra super good, right?”

Dewey says, “Math checks out.”

I say, “You don’t have anything to prove. You’re our friend, and that’s enough.”

Webby takes a bite out of a slice of cake, exclaiming through chews, “This is gonna be the best party ever!”

We all exclaim, “Yeah!”

Huey adds, “Let’s eat pure sugar!”

I say, “Maybe not you, Huey. Remember how you reacted from a single bite of flan?”

Huey groans, and I have to fight to keep him away from the cake so we can all sleep tonight, because if I don’t, I just know he’ll be moving around and being too loud for us to sleep.

After a few hours of playing games, we all start getting very tired and sluggish, Louie saying through a yawn, “Boy, this sure has been a friend-aversary thingie. You know who my best friend is?”

Dewey hangs upside down from the ladder to Webby’s attic and slurs out, “Me.”

Louie says, “Sleep. C’mon, even Beakley fell asleep. I think?”

I pop my head out into the hallway and find Mrs. Beakley passed out on the floor leaning against the wall, her eyes open and her snores sounding like she’s choking.

I ask, “Is she okay? I’ve never heard snores like that or seen someone sleep with their eyes open. Do we need to take her to the hospital or something?”

Webby responds, “It’s a spy thing. And yeah, it might be sleepy time.”

Lena says, “Sleep? No, no, no way! It’s only 4 am. That’s so early!”

I yawn, saying, “Early in the morning, but way too late at night.”

Violet places her pointer and middle fingers on Lena’s wrist, saying, “Judging from your sunken eyes, elevated heart rate, and irritability-”

Lena pulls her arm away from Violet and a balloon pops behind her as she exclaims, “You’re irritability!”

Violet continues, “I’d say you’re suffering from a serious lack of sleep.”

Lena says, “Uh huh, yeah, because I’ve been planning so many exciting activities for this party! I’d be surprised if we ever sleep again! She yawns, then shakes her head, saying, “I’m gonna go splash some cold water on my face so we can party even harder!”

We all groggily say, “Yay.”

After a few minutes, Webby follows after Lena, and we decide to just curl up in our sleeping bags and get some sleep. We can hang out more in the morning. When we eventually wake up, we’re on an island right next to the shore.

Violet asks, “I’m sorry, where are we?”

Webby gasps, excitedly saying, “Facing certain death with my friends on a desert island? I’ve dreamed of this moment! First; find food. Then we figure out who kidnapped us and contact the outside world!”

She climbs a palm tree and breaks open a coconut to find… a hamburger?

I say, “Does that normally happen when you open a coconut?”

Webby scratches her head, saying, “No, that’s weird.”

Louie pulls out his phone, saying, “Okay, I’m calling Uncle Scrooge. Uh, it’s a… Ugh, why can’t I remember?”

He starts trying to dial his phone number, but why is he holding a banana? I could’ve sworn he was holding his phone just a second ago.

Dewey asks, “Why are you dialing a banana?”

Louie asks, “What?”

He drops the banana out of shock, and suddenly a unicorn appears? What is wrong with this island?

The unicorn says, “You are the chosen one, Webbigail. Are you ready to enter my extremely extreme obstacle course?”

Webby gasps as a top hat and cane lower down from the heavens, and she exclaims, “Oh, it’s happening! Yeah!”

Louie exclaims, “No! How do we get off this island?”

I add, “Yeah, I’m all for leaving. This place is weird.”

The unicorn responds, “Oh, that’s easy. Go past the Acid Rainbow Waterfall, take a left at the Glitter Quicksand Pit, and then stroll through Poison Flower Field.”

Webby exclaims, “This is like all my wildest dreams smushed together!”

Lena nervously chuckles, saying, “Dreams? No, no, no. Maybe Scrooge is testing us. Maybe the plane is crashed nearby.”

Why would Uncle Scrooge take us while we’re sleeping to a remote magical island, and how would we not wake up from a plane crash? No, something fishy’s going on here.

Violet says, “Or we’re in a lucid dream-state manifested by your magic.” We all look at her in confusion, and she says, “Oh, like her thing made any more sense? Observe.”

She holds out her hand palm-side up, and a flower grows from it, growing legs and walking away. Huh. Well, if this is a dream, then why do I look like I do in real life? Normally I don’t look like this in my dreams. For one thing, my hair is very different than it is in my dreams.

Violet explains, “Extreme sleep deprivation could upset your magical aura. Have you been having bad dreams?”

Lena sighs, then admits, “Uh, yeah. All week. I thought a slumber party would help me stay up, not pull you all into my freaky shadow problems again.”

Webby says, “Lena, we all know you’re magic, and that’s great. We want to be in on your ‘freaky’ problems.”

I say, “If we hadn’t gotten involved with your ‘freaky shadow problems’, I never would’ve met you. I’m glad we got to meet, even if the circumstances we met were less than ideal. You’re our friend.”

Webby adds, “No more secrets, okay?”

Lena says, “Okay.” She tucks a stray tuft of fur back, adding, “No more secrets. I’ll get us out of here.” She slaps her face, exclaiming, “Wake up!”

I pull her hands away from her face, saying, “Beating yourself up isn’t the answer!”

Huey adds, “It’s bad enough waking a sleep-walker. Who knows what waking a dream-walker could do?”

Violet adds, “I concur. It’s best if we stay in the dream until Lena wakes naturally.”

Webby exclaims, “A party in a dream? Best friend-aversary ever!” She jumps into the air and sprouts giant butterfly wings, adding, “Let’s fly because we can!”

We all grow wings a fly up high in the air, Louie exclaiming, “I hate walking!”

We all cheer, but Lena stays on the ground, hiding her wings behind her back.

Webby exclaims to her far below, “Lena! You coming?”

Lena responds, “Uh, I’ll just follow you on foot.”

Louie soars by, exclaiming, “Look up in the sky, it’s me!”

Huey and Dewey grunt as they slam into each other in midair, and we keep flying until we reach a blue-tinted school building, floating back to the ground where Lena is and we make our wings disappear.

Louie makes a sound of disgust, asking, “Ew Webby, why is there a school in your dream?”

Dewey gasps, saying, “That’s not Webby’s dream.”

We walk inside the building, and Dewey’s hair slicks back and he’s now wearing a varsity jacket.

Webby says, “Woah, nice hair!”

Dewey says, “Thanks. It’s alive.”

His hair shifts into a thumbs-up, then goes back to normal. If he can look however he wants in his dream, then maybe when we get to my dream I can show them how I want to look!

He exclaims, “This is Dewey High!” He then sings, “I’m the most wholesome boy in school. I’m a talented jock everyone thinks is cool. If TV and movies taught me anything, when you turn into a teen you just have to sing!”

He tosses a basketball to Lena, and she accidentally pops it, saying, “Oops.”

Dewey says, “That’s okay. Dewey High’s got basketballs on tap.”

He presses on a water bubbler, but instead of water coming out, basketballs come out. All of them smack into Dewey’s head and bounce directly into a basketball net while Dewey seems unaffected from all the hits to his head.

He gives us a tour of the place, saying, “This is my favorite dream.” We pass by some of his cardboard cutouts from Dewey DewNight show, and he chants, “Woah, Dewey, you’re the best man!” He chuckles, adding, “Okay, I know it!”

We then stop in front of a formless blob, and Huey asks, “Uh, what’s that?”

Dewey responds, “I think it’s supposed to be my romantic interest, but I’m too threatened by that concept, so it never takes shape.”

The romantic interest reaches out toward him and says in a voice that sounds like a blend of both masculine and feminine voices, “Dewey, let’s sing a dew-et.”

Dewey runs away in fear, and we follow after him, and we find a group of tall ducks leaning against the wall.

Dewey says, “Here are my singing rivals. They are so self-absorbed.” We walk past us, and Dewey gestures at a large poster of himself, exclaiming, “Here’s a giant poster of me!”

We then find a part of the wall that’s broken and exposed, showing him crying and hugging a crescent moon.

I ask, “What’s this, Dewey?”

Dewey says, “This is in all my dreams. I’m, like, cradled by a moon made of my own tears. Who knows what that’s about?”

Huey says, “I have some theories.”

We keep going down the hall, and Dewey gestures at a very tall person in a Dewey costume, exclaiming, “And this is my mascot, Dewey Dude!” They dance together in sync, Dewey saying, “Go, go, go, go, go us, us, us. Oh, we’re deweying it!” He laughs and we walk away except for Lena, Dewey saying, “That guy’s the best. And over here is one of a gajillion trophy cases.”

In the middle of showing us his millions of trophies, Lena pulls the fire alarm which activates the sprinkler system.

Dewey angrily asks, “Why did you do that?”

Lena nervously responds, “It was an accident!”

Dewey exclaims, “You ruined my big dance, and we’ll never have the hallway dry in time for the 11:30 number!”

He tosses his head back to drink some of the liquid coming from the sprinklers, but I can tell that it’s not water by the color and consistency.

I ask, “Ugh, what is this stuff? It’s making my feathers feel all sticky and gross.”

Dewey says, “It’s my own exclusive flavor, Dew-berry Pep.”

Webby says, “Come on, Dewey. None of us feel like dancing. Maybe we should move onto the next dream.”

Huey adds, “Yeah, I just failed a class on something called Dew-ology.”

He holds out a piece of paper, and a large letter ‘F’ appears over his head.

Dewey says, “Well, I’m the class wale-dew-ctorian. A plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus…”

He continues adding pluses as Huey mutters, “I’ve gotta get out of here.”

Violet says, “With enough focus, we should be able to determine where we go next.”

Louie thinks for a second before opening a green locker and stepping inside, the rest of us following him. We enter into a green version of the mansion’s living room, and there’s a green cat on the couch, and Dewey’s back to normal.

Webby asks, “Louie?”

The cat says in Louie’s voice, “Mmm, yes?”

Huey asks incredulously, “This is your dream? To be even lazier?”

Cat-Louie explains, “I nap all day. I never have to worry about anything. I’m shamelessly pampered.” He hums and meows, adding, “Everyone pat my head.”

He purrs as we pet him, and Huey reaches out to pet him, saying, “Good kitt- Ow!”

He exclaims in pain as Cat-Louie bites him, saying, “Nevermind, I don’t want that anymore.”

He falls asleep, and Huey asks, “You’re asleep? We’re in a dream! How are you sleep-sleeping?”

Cat-Louie appears in a dream bubble, responding, “I just am.”

I ask, “Hey, has anyone seen Lena yet in this dream?”

Just as I ask that, a large grey wolf with purple eyes and Lena’s friendship bracelet emerges from a cat door, growling.

The eyes soon shift into Lena’s as she says, “I don’t think I’m doing this right.”

Dewey exclaims, “Whoa!”

Webby asks, “Lena?”

Cat-Louie jumps up to the top of the couch, scared while screeching and hissing as Violet approaches Wolf-Lena.

I pick up Cat-Louie and hold him, gently petting him as I reassure, “It’s just Lena, Louie. She’s not gonna hurt you.”

Violet inspects Lena’s muzzle and teeth, saying, “Fascinating. In dreams, this form can represent Outsider Syndrome. Perhaps a violent feral instinct?”

Webby says enthusiastically, “Or she’s a pack animal and we’re her pack!”

I add, “That one sounds more accurate to me.”

Dream-Beakley enters the living room and says in a distorted voice, “A wolf in the house. I’ll get animal control!”

Lena looks at the front door and exclaims, “We need to go, like, right now!”

Huey says, “Okay, okay. We can go.”

He hops into the litterbox in a meditative pose, and we all exclaim while following him, “Ew!”

Violet adds, “This is unpleasant.”

We drop onto Huey’s bunk in my brothers’ room with Louie being a normal duck again.

Lena follows shortly after us, saying, “Huh. What a nice, normal-looking dream. Let’s stay here.”

Dewey asks, “Who’s dream is this anyway? It’s just our room. It’s so bori- Ah!”

He exclaims in fear and disgust as we notice Huey standing at the same height as us despite being on the ground, his legs having been stretched way out of proportion.

Dewey yells, “Why, Huey, why? Why, Huey, why?!”

Huey calmly says, leaning against the bunk, “Whatever do you mean? Nothing strange here, just a tall, distinguished, mature oldest sibling.”

Dewey yells, “In what world does that description equal this?!”

Huey exclaims in response, “I’m not good at imagination stuff, okay?!”

Louie says, “Don’t listen to him. Follow your lame dreams.”

Huey asks, “Would you kids like a jar of pickles from the topmost shelf?”

Dewey yells, “Nooo!”

Webby says, “Um, sure.”

I say, “I guess?”

Huey grabs the jar from the shelf, but bumps his head on the ceiling fan, dropping the jar. He bends over but is unable to reach the jar with his short arms so he extends them, his arms going and wiggling uncontrollably as we all scream in fear and disgust.

Dewey says, “Okay, that’s enough. If we can dream it, we can Dewey it! And it’s my dream to be in a montage! Infinite backflip!”

He jumps into a backflip and just keeps spinning for a short while, and we keep traveling in and out of each other’s dreams, eventually finding my dream, opening the door to my room.

Lena says, “Please tell me you have normal dreams.”

I say, “Um, I don’t know actually. My dreams are mostly just the one thing.”

Webby says, “Well, show us! I wanna see!”

I shyly say, “Promise you won’t judge me.”

Dewey says, “We won’t, especially after seeing Huey’s weird dream.”

Huey glares at Dewey and I sigh, saying, “Alright, just… just give me a minute.”

I walk into my large walk-in closet and close the door behind me, imagining what I usually look like in my dreams, and inspect myself in the mirror before exiting the closet into my room.

Lucky S. Duck reveal

They all gasp, and I nervously say in a voice that’s a bit deeper than my usual voice, “Um, ta-dah!” Nobody says anything, and I grab my arm nervously, saying, “You said you wouldn’t judge. It’s not that weird, is it?”

Lena’s the first one to talk, asking, “Uh, are you… are you a boy in your dreams?”

I nod, saying, “Uh, yeah. Ever since I arrived on Earth a couple months ago and finally met people other than Mom and the Moonlanders.”

I fidget a bit, grabbing the hem of my dress shirt tightly out of anxiety. Do they think I’m weird now? A freak? Somebody to be mocked for being different?

Violet asks, “So what you’re saying is, you would ideally like to be a boy?” I nod, and Violet asks, “Are you aware you may be transgender?”

I ask, “What’s that?”

Violet explains, “A transgender person is someone who wishes to be a gender other than the one they were born into and usually prefers using other pronouns than the ones they were assigned at birth.”

Oh. So that’s what I am.

I ask quietly, “I’m.. I’m not a freak?” I start tearing up, adding, “There’s other people out there like me?”

They all look shocked and surround me in a group hug, Webby saying, “You’re not weird, Clover. There’s tons of people like you, and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just you!”

I quietly say, “Lucky.”

They all ask, “Huh?”

I say, “I want to be called Lucky.”

I wipe my tears, feeling a weight leave my shoulders as Louie says, “Then that’s what we’ll call you. Right, guys?”

Dewey says, “Yeah!”

Huey adds, “Of course!”

Violet says, “If that is what you wish to be called.”

Webby says, “Your other name is already erased from my memory.”

Lena says, “If anyone would understand what it’s like to feel out of place, it’s me. Actually… I’ve got something to confess as well. I’m a demigirl, and like using she/them. Trust me, Lucky, I’ve got your back, man.”

Louie says, “We all do.”

I smile and hug them all back tightly before we make our way to Violet’s dream, and I’m happy to be able to keep my dream form in her dream area.

Lena asks, “Oh, we’re in a library?”

Violet sits down at a table with a large book, saying, “My dream is just to read more.”

Huey exclaims, “Awesome!”

Dream-Quackfaster shushes him, and he whispers, “Awesome.”

He floats into a seat next to Violet and a book levitates over to him. All of a sudden we hear a loud knocking sound and Uncle Scrooge’s voice booms, “Wake up kids, what are you lot still doing asleep? It’s almost 6 am! Go find some jobs.”

Lena mutters something under their breath, then says loudly, “Well, I guess we’re waking up.”

Webby says in sadness, “Oh, no! But it was your turn to choose a dream!”

Lena says, “It’s fine, really.” She then starts smacking themself again, exclaiming, “Wake up! Wake up! Oh no, no!”

We hear Uncle Scrooge stop knocking, saying, “Meh, more porridge for me. Sleep tight!”

His footsteps start getting quieter and quieter, and Lena yells, “No! Scrooge, come back!”

Webby asks, “Lena, are you okay?”

Lena has a scared expression on their face and she pulls their sweater over their head, tugging their sleeves past their hands.

We all ask, “Lena? Lena? What’s going on? What’s wrong? Lena? Lena?”

Lena falls inside their sweater, screaming in fear as she slips into their dream.

Webby and I exclaim, “Lena!”

Dewey says, “Oh, she’s gonna be cold without their sweater!”

Webby says, “I’m going after them.”

I nod, saying, “Me too.”

We all jump into Lena’s sweater, landing harshly on the ground outside an ominous building shaped like Magica’s head, thunder crashing nearby.

Webby asks, “Is this Lena’s dream.”

Huey says, “I think this is more nightmare.”

I say, “Well, we can’t let them suffer alone! If she’s been dealing with this all week, I can’t imagine how horrible it must be inside there, but we’ve got to go in after them to help. Are you guys with me?”

They all nod, and we charge into the building in search of where Lena might’ve gone, and find a tall door that’s barricaded.

We exclaim, “Lena, we’re coming! We’re coming to get you! Don’t worry, Lena!”

We hear a shout of pain from Lena and burst through the door in our dream forms, and only find Magica kneeled over.

Webby exclaims, “Magica! What did you do with Lena?!”

Magica says, “No, no, I am Lena, I just look like Magica.”

Webby says, “Stop mocking me!”

Magica asks, “Oh, why does everything I say sound sarcastic?”

Webby shouts, “Because you’re a monster!”

Magica looks surprised by that accusation and shouts, “No! No, I’m not a monster!”

She then sprouts bat wings and transforms into a beast-like version of herself.

She exclaims, “Webby, help!”

She breathes a fireball, and Dewey throws a basketball at her, exclaiming, “Take this!”

It just bounces off of the chandelier and smacks right into his face, knocking him to the ground.

Magica exclaims, “I’m sorry!”

She breathes another fireball, and we keep fighting her, trying to defend ourselves and avenge Lena.

Suddenly, Magica shouts, “Lucky, look out!”

She shoves me out of the way and gets hit by a fallen chandelier, transforming back into her usual self and scurrying away, sitting with her back against a tall mirror. That’s when I realize she’s wearing Lena’s friendship bracelet and realize what we’ve done.

I walk up to where their reflection seems to be quietly talking to them and grab their wrist gently, asking, “Lena? I’m sorry. I didn’t see.”

Webby adds, “Of course it’s you. Is this what’s been bothering you? That you might become Magica?”

Lena responds in their own voice, “I’m just so tired of fighting it. I am her.”

Webby says, “No, you’re not.”

I add, “We were trying to destroy you, and you still saved me!”

Lena responds, “Yeah, of course I did.” She has a look of realization on their face as she adds, “Of course I would. She would never!”

Their reflection says in Magica’s voice, “What are you doing? Don’t listen to them, you are me!”

I hold Lena’s hand, saying, “You’re not her, you’re you!”

Webby adds, “You put so much pressure on yourself to be good, but you’re good enough.”

Suddenly, Magica jumps through the other side of the mirror and grabs Lena, trying to pull them through the mirror and she shouts, “Give me back my powers, you ungrateful brat!”

I hold Lena’s hand as tight as I can and pull, Webby grabbing my hand, Violet grabbing Webby’s, Louie grabbing Violet’s, Dewey grabbing Louie’s, and Huey grabbing Dewey’s. Lena start tearing up as she starts getting pulled into the mirror, but the second their tears hit Webby’s friendship bracelet, a blue magical aura consumes us and gives us the strength to pull them away from Magica.

Magica yells, “No!”

We’re all startled awake, and Lena exclaims, “I’m awake! I’m me again! We did it!”

Violet says, “Wait, we should test to be certain that this sin’t a dream.”

Huey says excitedly, “That’s right! We might still be dreaming!” He lifts his sleeping bag off and looks at his legs and sighs angrily, “Fine, we’re awake. It’s fine. Whatever.”

I get up and take a look at myself in the mirror and sigh in disappointment.

Webby puts a hand on my shoulder, saying, “It’s okay, Lucky. You might not look how you want now, but we can help you fix that in time.”

I smile, saying, “Thanks, Webby.”

Just then, Lena points out a drone just outside the window that seems to be headed toward the woods just outside the mansion. We follow it outside and we see Magica’s shadow next to a tree by the mansion’s front gates.

Lena asks, “Aunt Magica? You really have been creeping in my dreams all week.”

Magica explains, “Night after night, I tried to get you to give your powers back to me, but you kept waking up. I thought if you had your ‘friends’ to distract you, you’d stay asleep, but no. You can give me powers back right here, though. Take my hand.”

She steps out from behind the tree and approaches the gates, revealing how weak and manic she looks, without that signature shade of green in her feathers. She also has some kind of helmet on her head.

She says in an obsessive voice, “We’re family. You need me!”

Violet says, “She’s wearing some sort of telepathic helmet with a neural frequency amplifier. That’s likely how she entered our dreams.”

Louie asks, “So you’re using some weird doohickey? Isn’t magic your while thing?”

Lena says, “You really don’t have any powers left. I don’t need you, you need me. You are no longer allowed in my head!”

She uses her magic to destroy the helmet on Magica’s head, and Magica lunges at us. We all jump back, but Lena stays put, already being at a safe distance from her aunt, the mansion’s front gates between them.

Magica growls, “Argh! I’ll claw out your soul, grind your heart to dust beneath my heel, and rip my powers out of you with my bare teeth!”

We start heading back to the mansion, Lena saying, “You know, I feel more rested than I have in a long time.”

Louie says, “Eh, I could go for a nap.”

Magica yells, “ You think you’ve won, but I am your fate! I am the dark force at the core of all things! I am Magica DeSpell! Raaaagh!”

We simply ignore her, heading back inside. While everyone else decides to hang out and continue where we left off last night, I know that I’ve got to talk to Mom and Uncle Scrooge. I find Mom in the kitchen and Uncle Scrooge in the living room.

Uncle Scrooge says, “There you are, lass! You kids really did take forever to wake up. Not that I can blame ya. You probably just exhausted each other with your sleepover. How did it go?”

I rub the back of my neck, saying, “About that… I’ve got something I need to talk to you guys about.”

Mom pops her head into the living room and Mrs. Beakley takes over whatever she was cooking.

Mom asks, “What’s up? Why do you look so glum, chum?”

I gulp, saying, “I realized something about myself last night, and I don’t know how to say it, so I’ll just come out with it… I’m trans. I’m a boy.”

Mom says, “Huh. Neat.”

Uncle Scrooge asks, “What name did you choose?”

I ask, “Wait, how come you guys aren’t more shocked by this?”

Mom asks, “Why, what reaction did you want? Less acceptance?”

I say, “I dunno, I was just expecting… more of a reaction, I guess.”

Uncle Scrooge says, “Lad, I’m also trans. I actually transitioned when I was around your age, now that I think about it.”

I ask, “Really? I didn’t know that.”

Mom says, “Yeah, it’s kind of an open secret in this family. Nobody really talks about it anymore, though, as far as I know.”

I just say, “Huh.”

Uncle Scrooge asks, “Now, I’ll ask ya again; what name did you choose?”

I smile at how easily they’ve accepted me, responding, “Lucky.”

Mom chuckles, saying, “Y’know, that’s actually the name I would’ve given you if you were born a boy.”

I chuckle with her, and ask, “Can I ask for your help with something?”

Mom says, “Sure! What is it?”

I respond, “Can you help me cut my hair and get me some new clothes?”

Mom says, “Of course, Lucky. Anything for my little boy.”

Chapter 13: Hide and Seek and A Great Find

Chapter Text

"You've never played hide and seek before?!"

Webby's loud voice rings in my ears, and I respond, "Not really. Kinda hard to play when it was just Mom and me and the Moon Mite. Although... I guess us looking for the Mite whenever there was a slight tremor was kinda like hide and seek."

Dewey grimaces, and he asks, "What the heck's a Moon Mite?"

I shrug, responding, "It's this huge 4-eyed creature that's body is mostly head with tentacles for a mouth, metal-melting spit, and four legs that kinda move like a spider's. Oh! And it sounded kinda like a squirrel or chipmunk when it talked to its baby."

Huey and Dewey blink a few times in unison before Huey starts writing things down on a clean page for his JWG, and Dewey finally shakes his head, saying with a humorless chuckle, "Wow. I'm suddenly not feeling very jealous of you being the one to grow up with Mom."

Louie pipes up from the couch next to me, not looking up from his phone as he adds, "So the missing leg wasn't enough of an indicator that things weren't all sunshine and rainbows for them on the Moon, Dingus?"

Dewey turns his attention to Louie, exclaiming, "Hey! We promised not to use each other's middle names against each other like that anymore!"

Louie simply smiles and chuckles, making Dewey even more upset.

I fail to cover a giggle, then clear my throat and ask, "So... That hide and seek game?

Webby exclaims, "Right! Oh, you're gonna have so much fun!"

Dewey puts a hand on Webby's shoulder, and adds, "Say, why don't we kick it up a notch? How about... Hide and seek tag! It's basically the same rules, but the seeker has to actually tag the people they find, and if you get tagged, you join the seeker's team until everyone is tagged! The first person to get tagged is the seeker next round!"

I pump my fists, exclaiming, "Ooh, that sounds so fun! Who should be the seeker first?"

Louie halfheartedly raises a hand, stating, "Go ahead, but I'm not playing. Got stuff to do in my games before my premium membership free trial goes away and Uncle Scrooge catches onto me using his credit card again."

Huey adds, not looking up from his book, "I also won't be playing. I've got to research this Moon Mite thing so it doesn't give me nightmares later."

I look at Webby and Dewey, saying, "Guess it's just the three of us, then."

Webby adds, "Yup."

There's a moment as we all stand in uncomfortable silence before I exclaim, "Not it!"

Webby adds just after me, "Not it!"

Dewey groans, muttering, "Aw, man." Webby quickly ties a blindfold over his eyes, and he asks, "Is the blindfold really necessary?"

Webby smirks, saying, "Gotta make sure you're not cheating like in Among Ducks when you peek over our screens to see who the Imposter duck is."

I gasp, asking loudly, "That's how you caught me? I thought you were just getting up for a drink!"

Dewey fakes a cough as he mutters, "You're not a very good liar anyways."

My mouth goes wide at that as an offended look I hope he can somehow feel under the blindfold forms.

Webby says, "Let's just start hiding. Dewey, you count to 20, then come looking for us. And use Mississippis. I'll know if you don't."

Dewey huffs dramatically, then starts counting, "1 Mississippi... 2 Mississippi... 3 Mississippi..."

The two of us run out of the mansion's living room, with me running upstairs to the bedrooms, and Webby staying on the first floor. I run into Mom's room and hide under her massive pile of pillows at the head of her bed. She said she never used to be a pillow hog, but that she missed how it felt to be surrounded by them every night when she was my age.

My breath hitches as I hear the door open, and I take a deep breath as quietly as I can, holding my hands over my mouth to make sure I stay as silent as possible. After a minute of him silently rooting around the room, he sighs, leaving the room and shutting the door. I peek my head out of the pillow pile slowly after a few minutes, making sure he's not in the room before emerging. If he comes back here, he probably won't overlook the pillow pile a second time, so I've gotta change hiding spots.

I slowly open the door, looking twice down both ends of the hallway before taking off to my right toward dozens of unused bedrooms. I stop when I hear Webby's voice in a whisper just around the corner. He must've found her already! Dang, I'm really in trouble now. I open the first door in reach and duck inside just in time as I hear Dewey and Webby race past.

I just barely catch Webby saying, "I think he went this way!"

I open the door and hop into the bedroom's walk-in closet, pulling myself into a tight ball in the far end of the closet, tucked behind something dangling from above. This proves to be a mistake as I sneeze, smelling a heavy coating of dust in the corner I'm tucked into.

As I hear their footsteps loudly creaking the floorboards just outside the room, I decide I need to change rooms again. As I stand, I bump into one of the things dangling in the closet, and it falls from the closet rod and onto the floor. Curious, I pick it up and tug on a small chain, turning on the closet's light bulb.

The thing I'm holding appears to be a child-sized outfit hung on a clothes hanger, but I can't tell exactly what the outfit is since it's covered in a plastic clothing cover, like the ones you'd use for an outfit that you know will rarely, if ever, see the light of day again, but you want to protect it from moths and anything that could ruin the fabric. I rub a hand against the plastic to remove an even thicker layer of dust than what's already in the closet, and I can finally see the outfit inside.

It appears to be a vintage Mirvana T-shirt and a dark blue, almost grey flannel over-shirt. It feels familiar, like I've seen it somewhere before. Where have I seen this outfit before? Maybe in that old scrapook Mom gave me a few days ago that she'd fished out of her old room's closet. Well, there's only one way to find out.

I pull the plastic cover off of the outfit and cough at the dust, fanning the air around me as a ton of dust flies into the air from the sudden movement. How long has this stuff been abandoned in here? I pull the chain to turn off the closet's light and finally exit the dusty closet, slinging the outfit over my shoulder. I peek my head out of the room like I did when I left Mom's room, and take off toward the left this time, toward my room.

When I get to my room, I breathe a sigh of relief, hanging the outfit on a hook Mom installed on the back of my bedroom door. I shove the side of my head against the door, and when I'm satisfied there's nobody around, I root around my desk for the scrapbook. Flipping through the pages, I finally find the photo I was thinking of.

The photo contains Mom around my age riding on a skateboard through the Uncle Scrooge's office, her brother Donald towed behind her in a red kid wagon filled with money that spills out behind them as Uncle Scrooge chases them, a worried expression on his face and his top hat held out to catch some stray coins. Donald is wearing that very outfit in this photo, and a couple others throughout the scrapbook.

A/N: This part was inspired by Khion Yohann's fanart on Twitter.

I start zoning out and flipping through the scrapbook, finding more of the outfits I saw in the closet. Was that Donald's room? But why did it look so abandoned? I come back to Earth as I feel a light shove to my shoulder, and I drop the scrapbook and turn around to see Dewey and Webby there.

Dewey raises an eyebrow and scratches the back of his neck, saying, "You, uh... You good? You seemed pretty distracted."

I snap out of it, saying, "Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I found something and had to figure it out before I forgot, but ended up forgetting about our game. Sorry."

I nervously chuckle, and Webby exclaims, "I totally get it, Lucky! I get the research bug all the time! Why do you think I know so much about your family?"

I give her a concerned look before saying, "Right. Well, I gotta go talk to Uncle Scrooge about something. Sorry to cut our game short."

Dewey shrugs, saying, "It's okay, dude. Webby and I can find something to do, just the two of us."

I walk to two to my door, and Webby leans toward me, whispering, "You'll tell me later, right?"

I nod, and she smiles.

The two walk down toward the hallway together before Webby suddenly taps Dewey on the shoulder and runs, exclaiming, "You're it!"

Dewey laughs, taking off after her. I sigh, walking the other way down the hall toward Scrooge's office.

I knock on the door, and hear a slightly annoyed, "Come in."

I open the door, and Uncle Scrooge looks up from some paperwork at me, his expression brightening instantly.

He smiles, saying, "Lad! What brings ya down to my office today, Lucky? Want to hear more about smart saving from your dear old uncle?"

I chuckle, again,g "Not this time, Uncle Scrooge. While playing a game with Dewey and Webby, I found one of Donald's old outfits from when he was my age in an abandoned bedroom. Doesn't he live in the mansion? I mean, he couldn't have taken all of his clothes and bedding on his cruise, and even if he did, why was his room so dusty?"

The corners of Scrooge's mouth curve down slightly, and he sighs before responding, "Oh, that. Donald... He used to live in the mansion, but after he thought he lost you and your mother in space over 11 years ago, he packed up everything he owned, and he took off in his houseboat with your brothers. The only thing he left was those outfits he'd long grown out of. I think he left them because they reminded him of growing up in the mansion with your mother."

After letting it all sink in, I ask, "Does Mom know?"

Scrooge looks away as he responds, "No. Della still seems to think Donald never left the mansion. That I raised your brothers alongside him. I haven't been able to bring myself to tell her yet. It'd break her wee heart."

I ask quietly, "And you think Donald will be able to help you tell her when he gets back from his cruise?"

Scrooge's eyes meet mine again, and he responds, "Yeah, something like that." He breathes out a small chuckle, adding, "You're so much like her, you know. So I'm is Louie. You're all so perceptive of others, able to figure them out in a snap. For so long, I lived without that wit."

I walk around to the other side of his desk and grab Scrooge's hand, saying, "Don't worry, Uncle Scrooge. I'll let you tell her in your own time."

He picks me up onto his lap and hugs me, saying, "Thanks, lad."

I hug him back, and after a moment I pull away, saying, "You have to promise me you will tell her, though."

Scrooge chuckles, saying, "I promise."

He sets me down, and I wave at him as I leave his office to look for Mom. It's starting to get dark out, so she's probably on the roof. She likes watching the sky as the first stars of the night appear. I crawl up the ladder to the roof, balancing myself along the roof's small ledge as I spot Mom on the roof's slope.

I sit down and slide down next to her, and she says, "Oh! Hey, sweetie!" She sits up from where she was laying on her back, then she asks, "What brings you up here so late? You're usually in your room reading or playing with your brothers and Webby by now."

I say, "About that. I found one of Donald's old outfits in his room while playing hide and seek with Dewey and Webby. The Mirvana shirt and flannel one."

Mom asks, "What about it? Do you want the outfit or something?"

I respond, "Well... Kinda?"

Mom smiles at me, saying, "Well, then, take 'em!"

I ask, "Would that really be okay? I mean, they're his outfits, after all."

Mom rolls her eyes, saying, "Why not, Lúc? It's not he fits in them anymore. He hasn't in decades. Plus, it'd be good to see them getting some use after all these years."

A/N: Lúc is Lucky's new nickname, and it's pronounced like Luke.

I smile, and Mom ruffles my short hair, laughing as I huff and use my fingers to brush out any tangles. She lays back down and gestures for me to lay next to her, resting my head on her outstretched arm. She points out some constellations we couldn't see from the moon as more stars appear, and I fall asleep against her.

Chapter 14: The Golden Armory of Cornelius Coot

Chapter Text

"The legendary Cornelius Coot! Surrounded by his foes, he drew the storied saber and fought the marauding Beagle militia! Coot was like a ghost! His musket fire came from all directions! The confused Beagles ran for their lives. Coot single-handedly saved this very fort, and that's the story of how he started a little town called... uh, anyone?"

My brothers, Webby, and I listen to Quackfaster in varying levels of interest. She's dressed in a weird, old-timey outfit and a bushy grey mustache, contrasting everyone else's modern clothes. I'm wearing one of Uncle Donald's old band shirts that Mom gave me a week ago. I'm a little smaller than my brothers and Webby, probably due to being the runt or growing up in space, so the clothes are a little big on me, but they're comfortable so I don't care. The five of us respond in unison.

"Duckburg!"

"Coot stamped himself upon our history in a way few ever will." Webby smirks, and mutters something under her breath. "As a special treat today, Coot's descendant Della Duck will sky-write the letter 'C' to commemorate him."

Dewey quirks an eyebrow at that.

"Just a 'C'?"

Louie smirks.

"Uncle Scrooge charges by the letter." He turns to Quackfaster. "I'm parched. You got any refreshments? Maybe some Pep?"

I add, "Do you have any black licorice?"

My brothers look at me in disgust as Quackfaster responds.

"In this village, we only have traditional victuals; saltwater jerky, and raw buttermilk."

I shrug. Something's better than nothing. Louie gets a cup of buttermilk and recoils in disgust at the taste, and I get some jerky with some of the allowance money Uncle Scrooge gave me for the week. I take a bite of it as Dewey starts using a butter churn, my blue-dressed brother quickly getting bored with each churn.

"This is... what's the word?"

Louie gags at another sip of buttermilk.

"The most horrible place ever?"

"Yes, exactly. Thank you."

I swallow my jerky before adding, "I dunno. I kinda like the authenticity and old-timey stuff. Kinda feels like a living museum town or something. Plus, the jerky's pretty good."

I take another bite as Huey walks over in an old-style hat. It's weird to see him in a different hat.

"'Authenticity'? Lucky, please. This capotain isn't itchy enough to be authentic. Let's see if we can fly with Mom."

My brothers and I start walking away until Webby pipes up.

"Sure, we could go... Unless we want to uncover the greatest mystery your mom never solved!"

She pulls something out of her bag, and Dewey is the one to match her excitement the most.

"Is that-"

"Della's old journal! She was searching for a top-secret family treasure from the non-McDuck side of your family. The Beagles weren't just after the fort, they were after the Golden Armory of Cornelius Coot! Untold treasure." Louie smirks. "Undiscovered history." Huey puts on his usual cap. "Unparalleled adventure." Dewey and I look at each other and high five. "Della couldn't crack it, but we can."

She spits into a spittoon at the base of the statue, and my brothers and I walks back over to her. Huey looks skeptical.

"Webby, most historians consider this stuff to be a myth. 'Coot was a ghost with a golden armory'. 'He was everywhere at once'. All myths."

Louie rests an arm on Huey's shoulder.

"Yeah, everyone and their mother went looking for that treasure."

Webby rolls her eyes.

"Correction: everyone and your mother! We solved some big mysteries before, but this... This is the one that could make us legends!"

She pushes the air, accidentally punching a shovel in the process. Huey, Dewey, and I dodge the shovel, but Louie was in the middle of a sip of buttermilk, so the shovel hits him. He hisses at the shovel. I turn to my brothers. They all look hesitant.

"Look, guys. We have a ghost butler, and a magic wielder for a friend. And we've gone on magical adventures a lot. Why don't we at least check it out to see if the rumors are true? We have a lot more to go on than everyone else that went searching for the armory. It'll at least be a fun time-waster if nothing else."

My brothers look at each other and seem to have a silent conversation with each other before putting their hands out in a three-person handshake, but they don't raise their hands yet, looking up at me.

"What are you doing?"

Louie gestures for me to come closer.

"It's our Duck boys cheer. And you are a Duck boy now, aren't you?"

I chuckle, sticking my hand into the handshake.

We all raise our hands in unison, exclaiming, "Duck boys!"

Webby smiles, adding, "Let's solve this mystery."

The two of us high five, and the five of us start searching the statue for clues.

Huey says to passersby, "Nothing to see here. History is a living document. Archaeologists at work here, people!"

Dewey asks, "Alright, where do we dig?"

Webby reads a page in Mom's journal.

"It says here, 'find the truth beneath the legend'. Hmm."

We search for only a few minutes before Dewey gets fed up.

"That's it. I'm digging."

He goes to dig at the base of the statue, the end of the shovel bumping into Louie's arm as he takes a sip. His arm jumps up in reflex, the cup of buttermilk getting tossed into the statue's plaque. Louie doesn't look bothered at all by his drink going to waste.

He says sarcastically, "Oh no, my delicious, gloppy history treat."

Webby says quietly, "Shh. Listen."

We turn toward the statue and listen to the buttermilk that falls behind the plaque drip with much more echo than there should be.

I ask, "Why is it so... loud?"

Huey has a look of shock on his face as he turns to me.

"There's something under here."

We pull the plaque aside, revealing a dark tunnel below the statue.

Webby exclaims, "'Truth beneath the legend'! Told you. Now, let's go!"

We enter the tunnel beneath the statue. The tunnel gets darker and darker until I can't even see the end of my beak.

Louie mutters, "Cool. So this is our tomb. Tell me again why I let you talk me into this, Luc?"

I ignore him.

I ask, "Webby, is there some way we can get a bit of light down here?"

I can suddenly see a small bit of the path in front of us as Webby turns on her phone's flashlight.

She exclaims, "Alright, let's go! Everyone feel around."

I can barely see Louie touching the wall in front of me, narrating what he feels.

"Okay, rocky. Ooh, stony. Pebbly. Whoa- Oh! Point? Metal? Gold?!" Webby shines her flashlight at the wall in front of Louie. "Nope, rusty shovel. Gross."

Webby points her flashlight down the tunnel in front of the shovel.

"It's an arrow pointing ahead! We're on the right track. I'm coming for your treasure, Coot!"

We reach a dead end following Webby.

I ask, "Well, where to now? I didn't see any other branching paths, and all I see is a wall here."

"This wall here is not a wall." Coot must've made a decoy wall out of peat moss! Ingenious! All we have to do is push ever so slightly, and-" We all press lightly against the fake wall and tumble down a steep incline. "Take that, moss wall!"

As I stand up, my scalp feels itchy, and I start scratching the back of my head as Huey starts licking remnants of the fake wall from his finger.

"Hmm, it doesn't taste mossy enough to be moss. What is that texture?"

Louie starts rocking in place and muttering to himself as Dewey starts laughing.

He exclaims, "Do not laugh in the face of my danger!"

"I'm not. Huey's tickling me!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you- Webby turn your phone light on."

Webby's eyebrow raises.

"It is on."

"Well, I can't see a thing."

"What?" Webby shines her flashlight on Dewey's face, revealing giant spiders covering his eyes. "Oh, dear."

I exclaim, "Dewey, there's spiders on your eyes!"

Huey points at me, adding, "There's spiders in your hair!"

I point back at him, adding, "There's spiders on your shirt!"

We all start screaming and trying to remove the spiders from ourselves and each other, but they just keep coming. At one point, Louie pulls his hood over his head and spiders come pouring out of his hood and surround his face as he whispers something in terror. We eventually get all the spiders away from us, but Webby looks unphased.

"Nice try, Coot, but you'll never break us."

Louie shivers, rubbing his arms.

"Ugh! Ugh, so many legs everywhere. Ugh, I wanna go home." He exclaims in fear as another spiders appears on him, but Webby just grabs it gently and coos at it as she sets it on the ground. "Hey, is it me, or does she seem a little more 'Webby' than usual?"

I scratch at my head again.

"I can still feel their disgusting hairy legs crawling on me. Ugh, we never had to deal with such small, annoying creatures on the moon, I'll tell you that much. I don't know how she can just-" I gag a little. "Grab that thing like that. You're right, Lou, she's acting weirder than usual. I haven't known her long, but I know her well enough to say that with full confidence."

Dewey adds, "This is starting to feel less like a fun adventure thing, and more like a-"

Huey adds, "'Dangerous obsession that kills us all' thing? Maybe we should head back."

"Yeah, this adventure's a bust."

Webby stops walking and turns to face us.

"You know, Dewey, we should go. No sense getting distracted by riding this amazing mine cart."

Dewey's expression immediately changes upon hearing that.

"I'm sorry, mine cart?!" He jumps into a mine cart, jumping in anticipation. "This is the ultimate! Everyone in! We ride! To Coot's gold!"

A short Beagle Boy runs screaming with spiders all over him and trips into the other mine cart, the momentum from his fall propelling it forward along the track.

Webby's eyebrow raises, and she asks, "Big Time? The Beagles are after the treasure again. Quit repeating yourself, history, you rascal. Let's roll!"

Huey, Louie, and I jump into the mine cart with Dewey, and Webby starts pushing the mine cart before jumping in once it starts moving. The two mine carts race each other along the tracks before coming to an incline, rocking back and forth until we both come to a stop. Big Time looks at us in confusion, and we look at him before he, Dewey, and Webby jump out of the carts and start pushing them. We eventually lose sight of Big Time as he enters another tunnel, and Louie falls asleep.

When we finally come to a stop at the end of the track, Webby exclaims, "Yes! We made it!"

That woke up Louie, who yawns.

"Oh man, are we still here? Ugh, I had this amazing dream that we weren't."

I ask, "What happened to that Beagle guy?"

Webby responds, "He must've gotten caught in that spider-infested tunnel."

We look at the tunnel she mentioned, and cringe back.

Huey mutters, "Gross."

We continue down the tunnels, and Webby finds a scythe resting on the wall.

"Huey, look. What is this? A relic? One of Coot's old weapons? Proof of the legendary myths?"

"An old rusty scythe."

"Or a marker pointing this way?" We continue down a little bit, and Webby gasps. "Guys, we're almost where your mom's journal entries end. A few more steps, and we'll have made it farther than anyone! If we solve this, we can be as incredible as she is! Or, as Coot was."

Great save, Webs. Dewey puts his hand on Webby's shoulder.

"Listen, Webby. I don't think we should go."

"Perfect. Don't think. Let's go!"

My brothers and I plead, "Webby, don't!"

We run after her, the five of us stopping at a plaque next to a doorway. Webby shines her flashlight at the plaque and read the text aloud.

"'Cornelius Coot Arms'. This is it! The golden armory!"

Louie smiles, adding, "Treasure!"

Dewey and I add, "Adventure!"

Huey adds, "Historical accuracy!"

We run into the armory, and start exploring excitedly while Louie hops in and starts swimming in a pile of gold.

Webby exclaims, "We uncovered the legend! Proven we're worthy! We did what nobody else could do! We found-"

Louie starts sputtering, spitting out something yellow.

"Blech, corn?!"

We run over to him and see that he was, in fact, swimming in corn instead of gold like we thought. I pick up a head of corn and take a bite before spitting it out. 

"Ugh, and it's flint corn. It's more bitter than regular corn and it's so tough to chew. Why would there be corn down here, anyways?"

Webby looks very upset and starts flipping through Mom's journal frantically.

"What? No, no, no, no, no, I- Maybe the treasure is beneath the corn! Or, uh, maybe there's a further riddle, and you have to find the golden scythe of corn! Or-"

Huey interrupts her, holding up a blueprint for the corn storage containers around us.

"It's a blueprint. Coot's very own system for storing corn. Those weren't mine carts. They were corn carts. And those markers we found along the way were just farm tools."

Dewey asks, "So Coot was just a boring non-adventuring farmer?"

Louie adds, "And his treasure was dirty, smelly corn?"

I add, "He couldn't even grow good corn?"

I help Louie out of the corn.

"Worst treasure hunt ever!"

We start walking away, and Huey turns to Webby.

"Sorry, Webby. It's over. Let's go home."

Webby looks frantic.

"No, no, no, no, no! I know there's more to this. It's- It's Coot's final test. If it's not real, then how did he save the fort? How did he stop the Beagles?"

A Beagle woman appears behind Webby as my brothers and I start backing away from her.

"And how are you gonna get out of this alive?"

"Yeah!" Webby turns around and finally notices the woman. "Oh."

The woman and two Beagle Boys capture the five of us up and start walking down the tunnel with us in the largest Beagle's Boy's arms.

"Coots. Ducks. McDucks. You make yourselves out to be heroes, but you're all frauds and cheats! So we followed that idiot Big Time while he followed you."

Webby narrows her eyes at the Beagle woman.

"We'll never tell you the secret of Coot's loot."

Louie shrugs, and nonchalantly says, "The treasure's corn." He nods his head in the direction of the corn room. "It's in there. Knock yourself out."

Webby adds sarcastically, "Yeah, exactly. There's absolutely no gold. No gold whatsoever."

She starts fighting the Beagle Boys, releasing my brothers and I from their grasp.

I say, "But there really isn't-"

Webby cuts me off.

"Yes, there is!"

The Beagle woman exclaims, "Enough already! Ain't one of you fools bad enough to be a Beagle?"

Suddenly, the Cloudslayer crashes between the Beagles and us kids, Mom and Launchpad exiting the plane. Mom fans a cloud of dust away and is panting.

"Ah, you madman! We almost died! But we didn't. Weird."

Webby exclaims, "Della!"

Mom exclaims, "Kids!"

Louie exclaims, "The Beagle Boys!"

Mom starts fighting the Beagle Boys.

Huey asks, "Um, did you just become the hero of this adventure by accident?"

Dewey exclaims, "Leave it to Mom to make the lamest adventure ever awesome!"

Louie adds, "Go, Mom!"

Mom says as the Beagle Boys start retreating, "I thought you kids were at the fort."

I say, "Webby led us down here, and..." I look around, but I can't find Webby anywhere. "Wait, where is she?"

Mom says, "You guys stay here, and stay safe. I'll find her."

My brothers and I nod, and she runs off to find Webby.

Louie says, "We are never going to get out of here."

Big Time says, "You got that right."

My brothers and I gasp as we get surrounded by spiders, and the Beagle woman and the Beagle Boys also get surrounded. The Beagle woman starts screaming and flailing around.

"Ah! Spiders!" She finally catches sight of Big Time. "Big Time?"

The Beagle Boy smirks.

"Nope, made a name for myself, Ma. I'm Bug Time now."

He starts intermittently laughing and hissing. The Beagle woman, Ma Beagle, starts kicking at the spiders surrounding all of us.

"Keep them away! Ah, Big Time, you moron. Have you lost your darn blasted mind?"

Big Time turns to the spider on his shoulder.

"You see how she talks to me, Tarantu-Ma?" The spider screeches in response. "But I got no need to impress her. She can watch as we grab the loot. We're gonna succeed where the Beagle Boys failed. Nobody can stop... the Buggle Boys!"

Suddenly, we start hearing a bunch of loud noises. The Beagle Boy that grabbed us gasps.

"It's Coot's ghost army back to get us all!"

Huey exclaims, "Wow! The myths are true!"

Mom and Webby run up to us and Mom picks us up and runs with us to the plane as an avalanche of popcorn floods behind where she and Webby came from.

Dewey asks once we're inside the plane, "What is that?"

Webby responds, "The Golden Armory of Cornelius Coot!"

Mom tries turning on the plane, but the popcorn blocks the propellers from spinning.

"We can't back up! There's no way out, unless we..." She sighs, turning to her fellow pilot. "Launchpad, do your thing."

Launchpad gasps, an excited expression on his face as he takes the pilot's seat.

"Nibbles, give me a boost." A hamster in a hamster wheel starts running as fast as it's little legs will go, and Launchpad turns the pilot's chair around to face us. "Everyone relax, we're about to crash."

Mom mutters to herself, "That actually is comforting."

Launchpad does his thing and we escape from the tunnel and crash into a building in Fort Duckburg. I hope it wasn't an important building or something. Once we're safe, Dewey starts telling people the story of how he 'heroically' saved his brothers, friend, and Mom, and Louie starts hustling people by selling the popcorn made from the flint corn in Coot's farm in comically small bags for a lot of money.

Mom gets cups of buttermilk for me, Webby, Launchpad, and herself as we sit at the base of Coot's statue, which has been fixed to show him holding heads of corn instead of guns.

I say, "Hey, Webby? I'm sorry we called your adventure lame. It really was fun to spend time with you, even if we didn't get any treasure out of it. I guess you could say that the real treasure was the fun we had along the way."

Webby chuckles.

"Heh. Nice reference, Lucky."

"What reference?"

Mom finally sits down between Webby and I, and Webby turns to her.

"Well, you finally got to solve the mystery of Cornelius Coot's Golden Armory."

Mom smirks, putting a hand on Webby's shoulder.

"No, we did."

The four of us clink our cups of buttermilk together, and Webby, Mom, and I spit out our buttermilk as spiders pour out of Launchpad's cup and crawl all over his face.

"Hmm... Needs less spiders."

Chapter 15: Timephoon

Chapter Text

While helping Launchpad nail some planks of wood over a hallway window, I notice Louie bump into Huey on his way up the stairs in my peripheral vision.


"Nothing, I swear! Hey, Hue! W- why don't you tell everybody what you're up to in great length?"


Huey grins, holding up his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook with both hands.


"I'm almost done with my comprehensive report on caveducks! After months of research, I've written my masterpiece. This is my chance to get an entry into..." He sniffles, happy tears forming on the corners of his eyes. "The new addition of the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook."


Dewey places a hand on Huey's shoulder.


"My brother's gonna be a professional nerd."


Uncle Scrooge emerges from the garage, dragging a storage bucket filled with antique canes behind him.


"We need to bring in all these valuable heirlooms from the garage before the storm hits."


I pause in my hammering, turning to Uncle Scrooge.


"How are we supposed to bring in all that stuff from the garage into the foyer? That would take forever!"


Uncle Scrooge responds, "It's just a wee bit of stuff that we need to bring in. There's some very valuable things in there, lad."


Louie's eyes widen as he turns to Uncle Scrooge.


"I'm sorry, 'valuable'?"


I ignore him, asking, "What is that stuff anyways? Doesn't look like much worth saving to me."


Uncle Scrooge leans on his cane, gesturing at the storage bucket he brought inside.


"Oh, they're worth saving to me, my boy. These are the famous canes of Clan McDuck, going back to our very earliest ancestors."


Louie sticks out his tongue.


"Oh, sentimental value. Yuck! Anyway, I've got important, uh, stuff... to take care of... in... my room... so..."


He slinks away upstairs, Uncle Scrooge glaring up at him.


"That boy's up to something."


I just shrug.


"He's always up to something."


Uncle Scrooge chuckles at that, his expression turning to a cringe as Launchpad starts hammering the wall next to a plank of wood now that I'm not holding the planks steady for him.


"Whoops."


Uncle Scrooge cringes a few more times before placing a hand on Launchpad's arm.


"Launchpad, uh... wh- why don't you keep an eye on Louie upstairs? Far away from here."


Launchpad salutes my great-uncle.


"No problem, Mr. McD." He turns to walk up the stairs, chucking the hammer he was holding behind his back, shattering the glass on the window we were trying to board up. Uncle Scrooge and I facepalm. "Hey Louie, wait up!"


"What do you want me to do, Uncle Scrooge?"


He turns to me.


"Why don't you help me bring in the rest of those heirlooms? The work will go by much faster with the both of us. And after we're done, please go check on Louie and Launchpad. If Louie's up to something dangerous, I need you to keep the two of them out of trouble. Launchpad is very easily manipulated."


I chuckle.


"I've noticed."


It doesn't take long to bring in the family heirlooms. The bulk of the garage's contents remains where they are, since they're either heavy enough to stay in place during the storm, or are just not sentimentally valuable enough to bring inside. Once we're done, there's a loud thudding sound just outside the front door.


Webby asks, "What was that?"


I add, "I'm not sure."


Dewey peeks out a window next to the front door.


"I think I see something out there. Let's check it out!"


Mrs. Beakley exclaims something as I run out the front door with Webby, Huey, and Dewey. The thing out there is collapsed onto it's front.


"Hey cool, a dead guy!"


I poke the duck's face, and it's eye twitches, but it's not moving. The four of us bring it inside and set it down in the foyer.


I ask, "What is it? It doesn't look like any duck I've heard of."


The duck stands up and starts ambling around on all four limbs, grunting as it moves.


Huey exclaims, "It's a caveduck!"


Webby coos, "Aw... Hey, little guy!"


The caveduck ambles over to me and sniffs at me, leaning in uncomfortably close to my face. I step away, grimacing as it starts exploring the foyer.


"Ugh, that thing stinks. Where did it come from, anyways? I thought caveducks went extinct, like, millions of years ago."


Dewey says, "Ooh, maybe he was frozen in an iceberg-"


Webby continues, "And the iceberg- melted and he was washed ashore with the storm!"


Uncle Scrooge scoffs.


"Yeah, pfft... frozen in an iceberg-. Preposterous!"


Webby raises an eyebrow.


"It happened to you twice."


Uncle Scrooge opens his mouth to respond, but he just places his hand under his beak, rubbing at his chin. I think he realized she has a very good point. Huey looks like he's going to explode with excitement as he watches the caveduck.


"A real... live... caveduck?! He could prove my report is accurate to the Junior Woodchuck Council and guarantee my entry gets in the new guidebook!"


Mom exclaims, "Great!"


Mrs. Beakley adds, "And possibly disrupt all of time."


Mom scoffs.


"Aw, but it's one little caveduck."


Mrs. Beakley starts entering her 'lecture' mode as she says, "Small problems can turn into big problems if not prevented early. Step on a butterfly in the past-"


Mom interrupts her.


"Dude, why would you step on a butterfly? That's sick, lady. Sick!"


"It's a hypothetical situation."


"Good. Keep it that way. Kids, take him to the TV room before the butterfly basher here gets to him."


"No, no, I-"


Uncle Scrooge pipes up.


"We'll deal with these crises in order of importance. Strange storm first, caveduck second."


The four of us kids cheered, taking the caveduck to the TV room. As Huey started building a pillow fort for the caveduck out of couch cushions and fluffy blankets, I decide to take my leave.


"Well, I'm heading upstairs. Have fun with the caveduck."


Huey asks, "Where are you going? We're making history!"


"Uncle Scrooge asked me to check on Louie once we were done bringing in the heirlooms from the garage. I was about to do it when we got sidetracked by Stinky over there."


Huey starts protesting, but I just chuckle and head upstairs toward my brothers' room when I see Louie and Launchpad shoving some kind of treasure chest into a closet in the hall.


Louie sighs, "Ugh, the problem with being this successful is finding enough closets to hide your loot."


He chuckles, and Launchpad looks confused.


"So we're not doing anything wrong because we're finding lost treasures, but before they were lost. So we're finding... found treasures? Isn't that... stealing?"


"First of all, those pirates never reclaimed their treasure. And also, they were pirates! Doesn't it just break your heart to think of all this treasure? Alone? In the ground? Unloved?"


"So it's kinda like we're saving it?"


"It is exactly like that. I have planned for every possibility. There is no way that Time Treasures - a subsidiary of Louie Inc. - has any side effect whatsoever!"


I clear my throat, drawing their attention. Launchpad waves at me, and Louie jumps back in surprise.


"Why am I not surprised to find out you're time travelling and stealing valuable treasures."


Louie turns to me, a fake smile plastered on his face.


"Lucky! Little bro! We were just playing pretend. We're not stealing anything!"


"Uh huh. And have you ever heard of the butterfly effect? Where any small change you make in the past causes tremendous change in the present?"


"Oh, come on. We're not doing anything wrong! Those treasures were never found, so I'm just finding a home for them."


"Uh huh. Are you sure you're not the reason they were never found? That you're the cause of the treasures going missing in the first place?" Louie blinks a few times, his eyes looking around in a few directions as his eyebrows slowly knit together. "I guess you didn't. Look, your escapades already brought a caveduck to the mansion. A long extinct creature is alive and being exposed to the future because of your meddling."


The caveduck skates past in the hallway on a skateboard, and I silently gesture both arms at it. Huey runs after the caveduck, his Junior Woodchuck report in hand.


"He shouldn't be exposed to wheels for another ten thousand years!"


Dewey runs over to us as I cross my arms.


"Louie! We got a new brother! He's a caveduck, and his name is Bubba."


I roll my eyes.


"Who gave him that name? It's definitely not your naming convention."


"He told us his name! Huey spoke to him in his native language! Wanna hear his theme song? Bubba, Bubba... That's all I've got."


The caveduck, Bubba, crashes off the skateboard and into a painting.


"Bubba... flubba?"


"Ooh, that's good! Lyrical genius, this guy."


Bubba pulls his head out of the ruined painting and his gaze lands on Louie, jumping up and down excitedly.


"Bubble tubba! Bubba tubba!"


Webby clasps her hands together, asking, "Ooh, what does tubba mean?"


Louie looks at me nervously as I glare at him. This is his own mess. He caused this. I'm not covering for him.


Louie starts nervously laughing as he finally responds, "Oh, nothing... It's just caveduck nonsense..." He pulls Bubba in and harshly whispers, "Shut uppa, man!"


Launchpad pulls Louie and I into the hallway away from everyone else, looking scared.


"If the caveduck is here, are we in the past?!"


I facepalm.


"No, we're not in the past, LP. The past has been brought to us because of this guy."


I point a finger at Louie, who rolls his eyes.


"Don't think about it too hard, okay? It's one little caveduck. This will have no effect on the timeline..." I glare at him. "Probably."


A cannonball crashes through a window and lands really close to Louie, and I see a giant pirate ship just outside the window, pirates in the ship looking really angry. Launchpad is the only one that doesn't seem phased.


"Hey, it's those pirates."


I glare at Louie again.


"Okay, it might have a tiny effect on the timeline."


"Tiny?! This is the opposite of tiny, Louie!"


Uncle Scrooge ushers me, Louie, Mom, and Mrs. Beakley into the TV room and turns on the TV for the latest weather update.


"The El Pato storm has merged with a terrifying Time Vortex that local reporters are calling a 'timephoon'! The timephoon has unsurprisingly localized itself on top of McDuck Manor. For more, we go to our guest weatherman... Benjamin Frankloon?!"


The camera pans to outside the mansion on Benjamin Frankloon speaking into a microphone.


"As history's foremost meteorologist..." He grabs the TV camera, shaking it violently. "What the Devil is this box?! Is it stealing my soul?!" The camera falls to the ground on it's side, and Benjamin Frankloon leans down to the camera, surprisingly calm after his outburst just seconds ago. "Back to you, Roxanne."


I glare at Louie on the couch next to me, who has his hood pulled tightly over his head. Uncle Scrooge turns off the TV.


"We need to find the cause of this timephoon. Did anyone touch a cursed artifact? Or make some type of improperly worded wish?"


I add, "Or travel through time, perhaps?"


Louie glares back at me as Mrs. Beakley clears her throat.


"Indeed. SHUSH Chrono Protocol suggests that someone is tampering with the timestream at specific points. But who? And how?"


Louie nervously says, "Well, this could be any of the time shenanigans we've dealt with lately. Why assign blame?"


Mom sits down on the couch between Louie and I, ending our glaring contest.


"Louie's right. It's not we haven't face pirates before."


Uncle Scrooge says, "Each new arrival adds to the rift. The more contemptible continuum crashers arrive, the worse the storm gets!"


Mrs. Beakley adds, "Uh huh. So what you're saying is, we have to stop these small problems now, so they don't get out of hand and cause big problems later."


Mom smirks.


"I see how you turned this into a lesson on parenting, and I am impressed."


Uncle Scrooge ignores them, saying, "Perhaps Gyro has some time tech left that will help us identify what's causing this."


Is that where Louie got whatever he's using to time travel?


Louie says, "I love where your head's at, Uncle Scrooge. Oh, too bad we can't go ask him."


I look over at Louie, asking sarcastically, "And why, exactly, can't we do that?"


"You know, 'cause of the storm."


I'm about to make another remark when Dr. Gearloose suddenly pops into existence in front of us, screaming as he falls onto the rug. He scrambles to stand up, a frantic expression on his face.


"Someone stole my Time Tub and destroyed time and space!"


I glare at Louie again, and he pulls his hoodie strings tighter.


"Oh, boy."


Uncle Scrooge has Dr. Gearloose take a deep breath to calm down, then says, "Start from the beginning."


Dr. Gearloose sighs, then says, "Okay. I was in my lab - definitely not cloning an army - when there was a sudden flash. I turned around and my Time Tub was gone! I was caught in the after-blast!"


Louie stands up, exclaiming, "That's a thing?!" Once he realizes all eyes are on him, he sits back down on the couch on the other side of Mom. "I mean... go on."


Dr. Gearloose continues like he was never interrupted in the first place.


"And hurtled through time and space to this very moment."


Louie looks around nervously.


"And then the thief disappeared into the timestream. He could be anywhen! Ugh, we'll never find him!"


Mom starts petting Louie's head, reaching her other arm behind my neck and resting her hand on my shoulder.


Dr. Gearloose continues, "The thief must be bringing items from the past here. That's why the storm is dumping people from those time periods on your doorstep. The Time Tub and the thief are in this house!" Everyone looks at him. "It's not me. I just got here."


Uncle Scrooge narrows his eyes at the chicken doctor.


"Said the clone."


With everyone's eyes one someone else, Louie slinks away, dragging me with him. In the hallway, he grabs Launchpad, pulling both of us toward his room.


"Every treasure brought something back with it! We have to put it all back!"


I groan.


"That's what I've been trying to tell you!"


Launchpad and I start hauling the treasures that Louie stashed in the hallway closets up to his room to be brought back to the moment they were 'lost', and we almost get caught by Huey running up the steps, the three of us hiding behind a curtain. Louie and I step out of the curtain, Louie breathing a sigh of relief.


"Ugh, that was close."


Huey starts walking back down the stairs almost immediately, placing chili cheese dogs on each step as he goes down.


Huey and Louie look at each other and say in unison, "Don't ask."


Louie and I watch Huey continue down the stairs, and once he's out of sight, I pull the curtain off of Launchpad, who seems to have fallen asleep from being behind the curtain. He wakes up as Louie starts speaking again.


"We have to put back all the treasures before anyone knows it was us."


I adjust the treasure I'm holding, adding, "For the record, I'm not involved in this. I'm only helping you fix your mess because Uncle Scrooge asked me to keep you out of trouble. If it was up to me, you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."


Launchpad raises an eyebrow, asking, "But if we put things back in the past, doesn't that mean we've already done it in the present?" He picks up a chili cheese dog from the stairs. "Did I leave this chili cheese dog for myself because I knew I'd be hungry?"


I groan, my arms shaking from the weight of the treasure.


"We don't have time for this, Launchpad!"


Louie adds, "Ugh, move!"


Launchpad eats the entire chili dog in one bite, holding up a thumbs-up as he starts walking again.


"Thank you, past and/or future me!"


Once everything is in my brothers' room, I start handing Louie stuff to bring back after he and Launchpad climb inside the Time Tub.


"The bejeweled bell goes back to the Penny-farthing Society in the 1920s. Gold railroad spike to the... 1880s?" I hand him the last treasure. "Wait, does this go to Queen Elizabeak? Or those Shinobi warriors? Gah! I can't keep it all straight!"


I ball my hands into fists, exclaiming, "Well, you wouldn't have that problem if you didn't mess with time in the first place!"


Launchpad says, "I got to thinking that time isn't a straight line at all. Perhaps it's like a propeller, always in motion, its blades in all places at once."


Louie exclaims, "Launchpad, we don't have time!"


Launchpad responds, "Well, technically, we-"


I don't hear the rest of that as they go back in time again, and Mom enters the room.


"Lucky? Where's Louie? Is he okay?"


I can't even say anything before the Time Tub returns. Louie's eyes widen, and he puts on a fake smile again.


"Mom, I can explain."


Mom's expression turns from one of shock to anger, exclaiming, "Louie!"


Mom and Launchpad and I start transporting the Time Tub downstairs, Louie riding inside it.


I grunt out of effort from helping move the Time Tub, saying, "I would like to start for the record, once again, that I was only helping him return the stuff he stole because Uncle Scrooge told me to keep him out of trouble."


Mom glares at me, saying, "You're not getting out of this, young man. You should've come to me the second you found out what he was doing!"


Louie scoffs.


"You're overreacting. I put everything back! It's no big deal!"


Mom exclaims, "This is a huge deal! Beakley's lost to time! And if I'd listened to her about this and put my foot down earlier, none of this would've happened."


Launchpad says, "Listen, Ms. D. I can explain. You see, time is... Uh, nope. Lost it." He gets zapped by lightning from the window, and exclaims as he disappears, "Everything we do has already happened!"


Mom I can't handle the sudden weight of the Time Tub in his absence, and we stumble, falling with the tub into the foyer. Bubba starts jumping up and down in excitement again.


"Bubba tubba!"


Uncle Scrooge looks at the tub with a smirk, exclaiming, "Time to send those unwanted house guests-" He gets stuck by lightning. "Home!"


Dewey and Webby exclaim, "Uncle Scrooge!"


Louie exclaims, fiddling with the Time Tub's dials, "It's okay! I know how to fix this!"


Webby asks, "How are we going to get all these anomalies into that tiny tub?"


"One of several things I'll know, any second now!"


Bubba punches another anomaly, and Huey exclaims, "Yes!"


He gets zapped by lightning, followed closely by Dewey, Webby, and me. I open my eyes to see I'm still in the mansion, but it looks different. Am I lost to time like everyone else? I hear an angry squawk, and follow the sound to see Mom's brother Donald leaving the mansion with a baby stroller, three eggs inside the stroller. But I thought Donald raised my brothers with Uncle Scrooge?


I follow him out of the manor and down to the docks, watching him get inside the houseboat that's always parked in the mansion's pool. He slams the door to the houseboat behind him, locking it. I peek into the window to see him looking at a copy of the picture Mom and I had on the moon, featuring Uncle Scrooge, Mom, and Uncle Donald embracing in front of four eggs.


He stares at the picture with tears running down his face, his grip on the photo getting tighter as he starts leaving creases from how tight he's holding the photo. He eventually grabs a marker, angrily scribbling Uncle Scrooge's face out of the picture. What happened between them that made him leave like this? What made him take my brothers with him and raise them alone?


I watch Donald hide the photo away in a drawer, then he turns to the three eggs, placing them onto a blanket under a heating lamp. It's hard to understand what he's saying, but it sounds like he says something about Uncle Scrooge, Mom, and the Spear of Selene, saying he won't let them get hurt like Mom.


I want to hear more, to learn more about what happened, but I can't, tears running down my face as I'm suddenly in the mansion again, everyone back from the past and in strange outfits fitting different periods of time.


I wipe my tears as Louie exclaims, "You're back! I am so, so sorry."


Mrs. Beakley mutters, "This'll be good."

"I thought I had a foolproof, get rich quick plan, but it turns out I was the fool. Can you guys ever forgive me?"


Mrs. Beakley sighs, saying, "Okay."


Everyone crowds around him in a group hug.


Webby adds, "You know we can. We always do."


Dewey adds, "You know, it's fine. Classic Louie."


Launchpad adds, "Yeah, of course!"


Huey adds, "Bring it in."


Uncle Scrooge adds, "Yeah, I'm sure you've learned... something."


Mom says, "No. Not this time."


This breaks up the group hug.


Louie asks, "What? But I really am sorry! We hugged and everything!"


"I watched your brothers blink out of existence because you wanted a shortcut to riches."


"Wh- I said I was sorry!"


"You took off in that contraption without thinking about the consequences. Or the people you would hurt."


Louie's expression turns to anger as he mutters, "I wonder who I got that from."


We all gasp, except for Launchpad, who takes an extra moment before realizing what Louie meant.


Mrs. Beakley exclaims, "See here, young man-"


Mom holds up an armored hand, cutting her off.


"Your little scheme to bypass the present almost cost us our future. This all stops now. You are grounded. No schemes, no treasures, and Louie Incorporated is done. Understand?"


Louie's expression turns frantic.


"Look, let me clean up, okay?" He starts turning to the other adults for help. "Uncle Scrooge? Mrs. B? Come on!"


"To! Your! Room!"


Louie starts heading upstairs, kicking the Time Tub on his way up as he mutters something. I sniffle, Mom's attention turning to me.


"You're such a hypocrite, you know that?"


"What?"


My hands curl into fists as I say, "You're a hypocrite. You set off in the Spear with me, not caring if you'd hurt your family. You hurt everyone, whether you realize it or not. You wanna know what I saw when I got sent back in time? I saw Donald leave the mansion with my brothers' eggs. When you left, he left too. Uncle Scrooge didn't help him raise them, he did it all on his own! And you wanna know why? Because you left! You broke this family apart all because you wanted to leave the planet in an untested rocket that almost killed you!"


Mrs. Beakley looks stern as she says, "You're going too far, young man!"


I point a finger at her, exclaiming, "Oh, I'm not done!" I turn back to Mom. "You can only blame yourself for not being there for them, and you were barely there for me despite us being the only two Earthers on the Moon! You left me alone for weeks at a time desperately searching for gold, and for what? It never amounted to anything!"


Mom looks shocked, exclaiming, "Lucky! What has gotten into you?"


"What's gotten into me? I was only trying to help my brother get out of the mess he'd made for himself, and you yelled at me for it! And you know what? I wish I'd been left on Earth with my brothers! Maybe then I'd have grown up with less trauma and maybe I'd actually feel like I belong here! Like I belong in this family!"


I start crying again, and I fall to my knees, hugging myself tightly. I hear everyone whispering to each other around me, but I can't make out anything they're saying. The air around me just feels too suffocating. I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder, and I can barely see someone kneeling in front of me. It's hard to see anything through my tears.


I whimper out, "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it."


I keep repeating it as I feel the person in front of me hug me. The feeling is so familiar, it must be Mom. I feel myself getting picked up, and I'm cradled to her chest. I can feel the cold armor against my cheek.


"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it."


Mom shushes me gently, whispering, "I know, honey. I know."


I feel a slight bounce in her step as she brings me upstairs to my room, placing me on my bed. I'm still crying, but less tears are coming out now as I start calming down a bit. I can finally see more through my tears. Mom sits down on the chair next to my bed and starts petting my head, running her fingers through my short hair. She always knows what to do to calm me down.


"You must've been holding that in for a while. I can't imagine what that must've felt like." I sniffle, clutching my blanket like it's going to fly away if I let it go. "I'm sorry that I haven't been the best mom to you. I never meant to make you feel like you don't belong. Everything I did, I did because I wanted to make you happy and provide you with a family. I have no excuse for what I've done, no excuse for how I've hurt you. All I can say is that I'm sorry. I want to fix it, but I don't know how."


"Can... Can you stay here for tonight? I don't want to be alone."


Mom cracks a slight smile.


"Of course, honey. Anything you want."


Mom takes off her armor, her regular clothes still on underneath, and she crawls into my bed with me, holding me to her as she rubs my back in comfort. I don't even remember falling asleep.

Chapter 16: GlomTales

Chapter Text

I wake up the next morning alone in my bed. My eyes are crusty from crying last night. When did Mom leave? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The clock in my room says it's just after noon. I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands and get changed, making my way downstairs. I overhear Uncle Scrooge, Mom, my non-grounded brothers, and Webby outside while making myself a sandwich, and watch Louie rush down the stairs and slam the front door open.

"You're heading to Big Rock Candy Mountain?! Oh, I am going."

Mom says, "No, you are still grounded."

"What?! No, what?!"

I can barely hear Uncle Scrooge say something while ushering the other kids away, and Mom continues.

"Your last 'dream' made you take treasure from the past, which almost destroyed time, space, and your family! Now, to your room! You can come out when you learn that no good ever came from cockamamie schemes."

Louie stomps back into the mansion, slamming the front door behind him and storming off to the stairs. I wordlessly offer him a peanut butter sandwich and he takes it, angrily chewing while stomping up to his room, loudly slamming the door. I start eating another finished sandwich and make my way outside, everyone halting what they were doing and staring at me as I step outside the mansion. The peanut butter feels thick as I swallow, feeling incredibly anxious already.

"Uh... Why are you all staring at me?"

Huey walks over to me.

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Dewey adds, "You were saying some really weird stuff last night."

Webby elbows him.

"All we're trying to ask is if you're okay. You seemed pretty serious last night."

My heart beats fast, thumping painfully in my chest. This isn't a conversation I wanted to have. This is why I didn't bring up any of that stuff before. I wish I'd just kept it to myself.

"I'm fine, okay? There's nothing to talk about." They're looking between themselves. This is why I keep stuff to myself. I knew they'd react like this! "Look, you guys just go have fun on your adventure and I'll stay here. Keep Louie company."

Uncle Scrooge says, "Now, lad. We have to talk about this eventually. There's clearly something tearing you apart inside, and it does ye no good to keep it all locked up." He humorlessly chuckles. "I would know."

"I'll be fine. Just go have fun without me. You've done that just fine for the last decade, why should one more day make any difference?"

Mom starts trying to say something, but I just shut the door, tossing my sandwich in the garbage before heading upstairs to my room. I'm not hungry anymore. I flop back onto my bed, hands covering my eyes. I shouldn't have said that. I should've just kept acting like everything is fine.

If you tell yourself something long enough, it becomes true, right? So why isn't everything fine yet? Why do I still feel like this? They've all been so welcoming and accepting, but I still don't feel like I belong here. Like I even matter. After a while, I hear my door quickly opening and shutting. I remove my hands from my eyes and sit up to see Louie trying to hide in my closet.

"What the duck are you doing?"

He shushes me, and a minute later the DT87 opens my door, scanning for something. Louie, most likely. Just as it's about to scan my closet, I clear my throat, getting its attention, giving Louie time to move underneath my desk, where it's already scanned, while it's distracted.

"It's rude to just burst into someone's room, y'know. I'm not even the grounded one! Can you please just leave?"

The DT87 turns around, finishing its scan, and moving on, staring me down as it slowly exits my room backwards. The door finally shuts, and after a minute of silence, Louie and I let out simultaneous sighs of relief.

"So, you gonna explain to me why you risked both of us getting lasered by the robotic babysitter?"

Louie crawls out from under my desk before responding.

"That thing won't let me do anything! I'm just trying to sneak out to Big Rock Candy Mountain to have the best adventure ever and sneak back home before they know I even left." He chuckles in the way he does when he's cooking up a scheme. "It's the perfect plan."

He opens my window, tying a rope to the nearest leg of my desk.

"Do you have some kind of death wish? That desk isn't sturdy enough to counterbalance your weight, and if you fall, you won't be going anywhere but the hospital! And even if you do miraculously manage to get out without a scratch, how do you even plan on getting anywhere?" Louie's about to respond when he looks out the window, gasping. "What? Did DT get outside or some- What the..."

The Iron Vulture, a sky pirate ship Dewey told me they encountered last year, lands in the backyard, a bunch of villains pouring out toward the manor. Louie steals my phone from off my desk.

"Must call Gizmoduck. Must call the military. Must call anybody!"

A fake dial tone plays, Mark Beaks saying, "We're sorry. The number you're trying to reach has been blocked 'cause we're invading your house! Alright, see you in a sec, 'kay thanks. Bye."

I hang up the phone, pocketing it. Louie and I look at each other, nodding before we both race downstairs, finding the villains in the foyer after Magica uses a strange device to banish Duckworth.

Glomgold says, "Daddy's home."

He laughs manically, and Louie and I exclaim in unison, "Oh no! Magica DeSpell!"

Glomgold growls, stepping forward.

"We've come for McDuck and family. So, uh, are the others here?"

Louie stutters out, "N- No, they're all gone."

I add, "T- They went on an adventure."

"Oh, I see. Family meeting- Augh!"

He turns around just to almost smack right into Ma Beagle.

"Unbelievable. You didn't even check if they were home?"

"Don't start with me, Katherine."

The pirate captain, I think Dewey said his name was Dan Carnage or something, asks, "Dewey's not even here? But these ones mean nothing to me!"

Rude. Magica sighs.

"Look, we're here. Why don't we annihilate the twerps as sort of a warm up?"

Louie smirks, walking over to them.

"And then what? What was your scheme here, exactly? Just show up and fight?"

Ma Beagle rolls her eyes.

"Of course not. I'm sure Flintheart had a perfectly good plan, and... Ugh."

The villains all turn to Glomgold, looking incredibly ticked off while he waves his hands in front of himself defensively.

"My scheme was to bring us all together like a family, and then our family destroys his family! How is that not a plan?" The villains all start to advance on Glomgold. "A good scheme is like a family. It can be big, complicated, frustrating, and people may not always understand it. But when the individual parts come together, they can achieve the impossible. And a family united is the finest scheme of all!"

Big Time starts tearing up until Ma Beagle scoffs.

"Who cares? In half an hour, McDuck's gonna win the bet, and become twice as rich and powerful."

Beaks adds, "All those resources."

Magica adds, "All those magical artifacts. None of use will be able to destroy him."

Dan adds, "He will become untouchable."

Big Time asks, "What now, New Pa?"

Glomgold scoffs.

"Even if I lose my fortune, we can still kill McDuck."

Ma Beagle says, "Well then, your fortune goes to his family."

"Then we'll destroy his whole family!"

He starts laughing maniacally, and Louie joins in the laughter.

"I know how you can win the bet." He slides an arm around my shoulder. "But we want in."

I whisper to him, "What are you doing?"

He whispers back, "Just go with it. I promise you won't hate it."

Louie writes up a contract, having the villains and I sign it before he does. I give him a curious side-eye, but he just keeps smirking. What exactly is he planning, and what did he get us into this time? We head onto the pirate ship, and it takes off into the sky. The villains exit once we land, fighting with our family. After a few minutes, Louie leaves the Iron Vulture, tucking the contract into his pocket.

"Hey! Everybody knock it off!"

The family all asks in unison, "Louie?"

"This is not the plan."

"Louie!"

I exit behind him, rubbing my right arm with my left hand.

Uncle Scrooge asks, "Lads, are you helping them?"

I try to say something before Glomgold exclaims, "That's right, Scrooge! You didn't win the bet; I did!"

The family asks in unison, "Wait, what?"

"It was I, Flintheart Glomgold, who convinced all the other villains to band together."

"And it was I, Louie Duck, who convinced them to hand their resources over to Glomgold. Combined, they actually have more money than you." The villains start lugging all their combined treasures out of the plane for dramatic effect as he pulls out the contract. "I saved your lives, but..."

Uncle Scrooge looks horrified.

"Glomgold wins the bet? Bless me bagpipes."

Glomgold exclaims, "I did it! I won the bet, and your company with a scheme sorted out by your own nephew! Or, should I say, my new partner. And the other kid too, I guess." Uncle Scrooge gasps, and Glomgold starts gloating to the other villains that he screwed them all over. "And now I have your money, and your money! I don't need any of you! I am the richest duck in the world! I am unstoppable! I am Flintheart Glomgold!"

He starts laughing maniacally, and Louie once again joins in.

"Yup! Flintheart Glomgold won. His name is one all the paperwork. Only, your name's not really Flintheart Glomgold. It's-"

Uncle Scrooge and Glomgold exclaim in unison, "Duke Baloney!"

"'Flintheart Glomgold' is a fake identity. So all your money, all your money, and all your money goes to your new partners, who are- Hold one one sec, just let me check right here- Oh right, me and Lucky. Always read the fine print, trademark Louie Duck." He turns to me, winking as he says, "See? Told ya you wouldn't hate it."

Glomgold exclaims, "What?! But that was my scheme! I got the family together! I was gonna steal their money from them after I won! I-" The other villains approach him from behind, looks of anger and betrayal evident on their faces. "...Can explain."

Magica growls, "Let me get this straight. You stole all of our fortunes and lost it all to children?!"

Big Time tears up, exclaiming, "I wish I never had a New Pa!"

He runs away crying, and Ma Beagle strikes Glomgold with her handbag.

"You scarred him for life!" She continues hitting him with her handbag. "That's my job!"

Burger tries to punch a dazed Glomgold, accidentally punching Bouncer and breaking his fingers at the same time as he yelps in pain. Glomgold is them confronted by Dan.

"How could you betray us after such a dramatic speech about family?!"

The two duel until Glomgold disarms his opponent with his cane, backing up as Beaks approaches, using his phone.

"Face Punch app!" He ends up punching himself instead, falling over. "Ow, ow, ow. Selfie mode."

Magica tackles Glomgold, exclaiming, "You've made a powerful enemy! I have enough hate in my heart for two Scottish billionaires!"

Louie and I walk over by the rest of the family as we all watch Magica beat up Glomgold.

Uncle Scrooge asks, "Should we do something?"

Glomgold screams, and Louie shrugs.

"Eh, it'll take care of itself."

The villains corner Glomgold on the edge of the cliff as Glomgold puts on a new fake beard until he jumps, falls into the ocean while screaming, and swims away.

"Curse you, everyone!"

The other villains take back their fortunes, board the Iron Vulture, and leave. We watch them until Mom approaches, her arms crossed as she glares at Louie and I.

"I swear I had no part in this, Mom. It was all Louie."

Louie eyes me down in shock.

"Are you seriously-" He clears his throat, turning back to Mom. "Mom, I know I messed up before, but seeing all the angles is what I'm good at."

Mom's glare turns to a smile, and she picks up Louie and hugs him.

"Okay, but you need to take care to not hurt the ones you love. And I'll be here to help you see the angles you can't. Now, all you have to do is turn the new company over to Scrooge, and everything will go back to normal."

I shrug.

"I have no problem giving up my share."

Uncle Scrooge approaches Louie with a smile, "Louie!" When my brother doesn't respond, he repeats, confused. "Louie?"

Louie's rubbing his chin, getting that familiar schemey look on his face. I don't like where this is going.

Chapter 17: Dewey Dew-Night Interview

Chapter Text

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

 

I sigh. This again. Mom's trying to get me to talk about what I said the other day about feeling like I don't belong.

 

"Yes, Mom. I'm fine. I was just upset, that's all. There's nothing to talk about, anyway."

 

"Okay. But if you ever do want to talk about it - or if you just want to talk about anything at all - I'm here. I'm always here for you, Luc."

 

I nod, helping her finish getting a camera set up.

 

"So what's this for again?"

 

"Oh! I wanted to send a message back to the moon; tell Penny how we're doing back on Earth. I've sent her a few already, but she hasn't responded yet."

 

"Like you did when I was younger?"

 

Mom nods, pressing a button on the camera to activate it.

 

"Hey, Penny! It's Della, again. Thought you Moonlanders would be here to visit by now. I stocked up the fridge, I got air mattresses for everybody, and I know I shouldn't have, but I got you something special." She pulls a training dummy into frame, a picture of her own face on it, pretending to punch it a few times. "Eh? Don't you wanna come spar with this?"

 

She chuckles, and I shove a fallen mattress back against the wall. Mom gently pulls me into the camera's view, patting me on the head.

 

"You might not recognize him, but this is Lucky! You knew him as Clover, but he's changed a lot since coming to Earth and realized a lot of things about himself. He's become quite the handsome little man."

 

She ruffles my short hair and I blush, playfully shoving her hand away as she chuckles. Huey, Dewey, and Webby walk down the steps into the houseboat's main room.

 

"Oh, hey!" Mom pulls my brothers and Webby into the camera's view. "These are the kids! Huey, Dewey, and I tried to get Louie, but his... assistant? Said he was in the middle of a 'complex business deal'. So, this is Webby, the boys' charmingly violent best friend. She's like their you!"

 

Webby jump kicks the training dummy to the ground, smiling wide. Huey stares at the camera, a confused look on his face.

 

"What is this?"

 

I respond, "We're sending a message to our friends back on the moon."

 

Dewey's face lights up.

 

"This is beaming out to the galaxy?"

 

Mom nods.

 

"Yup! There were supposed to follow right after us, but I haven't heard from them. So I've been sending them transmissions like I sent you!" My brothers look at her with extremely confused faces. "The ones I sent you from the moon? Hundreds of heartfelt lessons that gave me hope and purpose? Lucky's baby videos?"

 

Huey finally responds, "We did not get those."

 

Mom's eye twitched and she looks like she's holding back a few swears.

 

"Ugh, Meh, eh, it's fine. Everything's fine."

 

Dewey starts playfully fighting with Webby, accidentally knocking over and breaking Mom's camera.

 

"Whoop."

 

Mom scrambles to grab the camera, but it's too late.

 

She sighs, saying, "Aw, now I've got no camera, and no way to get a message to the moon. If only we knew someone with camera equipment, or a TV setup, or-"

 

Dewey starts excitedly stimming, making exclamations of excitement as Huey's eyes widen slightly with a hint of fear.

 

"Oh, no."

 

"What? What did I say?"

 

Webby moves to stand next to Huey, adding, "There's no stopping it now."

 

I ask, "Stopping what? Is he okay?"

 

Dewey grabs Mom and I by the hands and runs up the houseboat stairs and into my brothers' room, where Dewey has some kind of TV interview show setup, Huey and Webby following closely behind us. Dewey finally lets go, gently shoving Mom and I into the couch to sit down as he runs behind the desk next to us.

 

"Are you okay? What's going on?"

 

Dewey presses a button on a remote on his desk, staring into a camera as he adopts a TV host voice.

 

"Live from Earth, it's the first ever intergalactic episode of Dewey Dew-Night! In space! Space! Space! Space!"

 

"Uh..."

 

Mom looks at me, and I shrug. I've got no idea either, Mom. She turns her head to Huey and Webby as they calmly sit down on the couch next to us.

 

She asks, "So, Dewey has his own show?"

 

Huey is the first to respond.

 

"Mostly in his mind."

 

Dewey continues, "Now, fresh from being lost in space for a decade, put your flippers - or whatever Moon people have together for - Della and Lucky Duck!"

 

He presses a button on his keytar, which makes a 'yay' sound effect. I clear my throat.

 

"Moonlanders actually have three-fingered hands. And, interestingly enough, they don't have noses or nostrils. I guess it makes sense, though, since they don't really need to breathe. They're also able to fast for long periods of time, and Mom's friend Penny said she often went weeks without eating while chasing the Moon Mites, and didn't suffer any ill effects."

 

"Huh. That is actually very interesting-"

 

Huey gets cut off by Dewey.

 

"Mom! Can I call you Mom?"

 

"I am your mom."

 

"Great. You were stuck on the moon for, like, a really long time. Any funny stories about that?"

 

Mom nods, grabbing a coffee mug off the desk.

 

"Oh, yeah. In the cruel void of space, it's easy to lose track of time. So, one morning when Lucky was pretty little and hadn't learned to talk yet, I decided to have a staring contest in the mirror, but I was so desperate for human connection it lasted three weeks!"

 

I raise an eyebrow.

 

"I don't remember the Spear having a mirror."

 

"I destroyed it. To this day, I can't look in a mirror because I'm afraid I'll see... her."

 

Mom looks at her own reflection in the coffee in her mug, and her eye twitches before she smashes the coffee mug into the desk, a look of horror on her face.

 

My brothers and Webby and I stare at Mom until Dewey breaks the awkward silence, playing cricket noises on his keytar.

 

"Wow."

 

Huey adds, "This is not how I envisioned first contact with alien life."

 

Webby holds up a caged raccoon, exclaiming, "Oh, don't worry! If anything goes wrong, I'll send in our animal guest! Ow! No biting!"

 

I help Webby calm the animal down while Dewey starts holding his breath. We start looking at each other in confusion, Mom shrugging. Suddenly, after about a minute, Dewey exhales.

 

"And that is how long I think I could hold my breath in space. Thank you."

 

Mom nods dismissively, saying, "That's great, honey. So, uh, can we send my message to the Moon now?"

 

"Oh my gosh, yeah of course, it's all you."

 

Mom turns her head to the camera, smiling.

 

"Hello, Penny! If you're receiving this-"

 

Dewey interrupts her.

 

"And Penny is?"

 

"Oh, Penumbra? She's my best friend."

 

"A moon alien, and an Earth duck. How did you meet?"

 

"Well, funny story. I ended a decades-long war that was her whole reason for existing!"

 

"That must've made her mad."

 

He plays an 'ooh' sound effect.

 

"What? No. I mean, sure, everyone started praising me instead of her, and... But she took us in!"

 

I butt in.

 

"She tried to kill you, like, a dozen times. She was not subtle about it."

 

Dewey says, "Well, you can't spell frenemy without enemy, right folks?"

 

He laughs, playing a laugh-track for the fake audience.

 

Mom shakes her head.

 

"No, no, she helped us get back home."

 

"I'm pretty sure she was the one that started the Spear's emergency launch sequence. It just felt too convenient that we were all right there when it started, since you and I were asleep."

 

Dewey butts in.

 

"Uh, maybe she helped you escape the Moon to get rid of you, hey?"

 

He laughs and plays the laugh-track again.

 

Mom's smile fades.

 

"That... would explain why she hasn't come, or called back. Maybe we were never friends."


Dewey finally drops the TV show host persona.

 

"Mom?"

 

Huey exclaims, "Quick! Send in the raccoon!"

 

Webby releases the creature from its cage.

 

"Go, go, go!"

 

Mom snaps out of her funk after a few seconds, and we all chase the raccoon around the room, finally getting it back into its cage. We end up back in the houseboat, cleaning up from Mom's first attempt at sending a video to the Moon today. Dewey walks over, looking ashamed.

 

"Hey, Mom? I'm sorry about... all that back there. I'm sure Penumbra is just caught up with Moon stuff."

 

I add, "She did have a lot of duties aside from chasing the Moon Mites."

 

Mom sighs, her mouth falling into a half smile.

 

Don't sweat it, kids. Who needs Moon friends when you got your family?"

 

I reach to unplug the broken camera, and halfway through unplugging it, we finally hear something.

 

"This is Lieutenant Penumbra for her friends, Della and Clover Duck."

 

Mom pumps a fist in the air, exclaiming, "Ha! I knew she was my friend! Take that, family!"

 

I sigh, chuckling. That is, until Penumbra continues talking.

 

"All of your defense satellites just went down for some reason. Lunaris is bringing an army to destroy Earth! Della, he's coming for your family!"

 

Mom and I gasp. This is not good.

Chapter 18: Moonvasion (part 1)

Chapter Text

It's taken a few days for Mom to gain the confidence to talk to Uncle Scrooge about the Moonlanders invading, and by the time she does, they're already landing on Earth. The two of them run into the living room, where Beakley, my brothers, and I already were watching the news.

On the TV, another golden Spear replica touches down in downtown Duckburg near a large crowd of people, the engine shutting down. The text on the bottom of the screen reads 'Rocket Lands in Duckburg' as the camera moves around in a frantic manner, the reporter lady just off screen.

"The rockets touched down just minutes ago." The text changes to read 'Earth is doomed!' as Roxanne Featherly enters the screen. "It's still not clear what they want, but authorities urge everyone to remain calm." The text changes again, this time reading 'EVERYONE PANIC!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!' while Roxanne scoffs. "Come on, Carl."

On the site where Roxanne is reporting, spectators in the crowd near the Spear are taking photos with their phones. The camera changes to a view of the golden rocket from below and moves upward, showing the grand scale of the machine. It's much bigger than the one Mom and I spent most of my life fixing. A helicopter flies over the golden Spear.

"All of Duckburg watches as authorities send in their top man."

Fenton in the Gizmoduck armor speeds up to his mother, Officer Cabrera, exchanging glances at each other. Gizmoduck then slowly moves closer to the rockets, muttering to himself. He clears his throat and knocks on one of the rocket's fins.

The fin opens, revealing a ramp as Gizmoduck moves back enough to not get squished. One of the Moonlanders, Palus, starts walking down the ramp, her hands clasped together. She walks out closer to Gizmoduck as spectators take more pictures. Gizmoduck puts on a smile, a nervous tinge in his voice.

"Uh, hi! We're Earth." He extends a mechanical hand holding a tin of pie to Palus. "And you are?"

Palus takes the pie and takes a bite, making sounds of satisfaction. The TV text reads 'They come in peace... of pie?'.

Mom smiles, saying, "Maybe I misheard Penny's invasion warning." She chuckles and bops me in the shoulder playfully. "Lot of static in space."

I shake my head.

"No, I'm pretty sure she said Lunaris was after us."

"I'm sure she meant they were coming after us to... plan a 'Welcome to Earth' party!"

"Sure, Mom. We'll go with that."

I turn my attention back to the large TV screen. Palus gasps and reaches behind herself while Officer Cabrera glares suspiciously. Palus pulls out a last gun and aims it at Gizmoduck, Officer Cabrera tackling her son out of the way.

"Gizmoduck, watch out!"

Palus fires her laser gun with a proud look on her face, just barely missing Gizmoduck and hitting a police car. The crowd clamors as more Moonlanders armed with last guns pour out of the golden Spear.

"We are the mighty! We are the Moon!"

The Moonlanders charge with clamoring yells while Palus takes another bite of pie. Gizmoduck screams while protecting his mother from laser fire. Roxanne's TV crew and the spectators run for their lives and laser fire streaks across the camera. I flinch back like it almost hit me, and Mom pulls me close to her.

The news van's windshield is punctured while a dog man with a burned cowboy hat peaks out. Roxanne is running while screaming. The downed news camera shows a text reading 'Carl was right, we're doomed!' just before laser fire shorts out the camera. We all gasp in horror.

Mom mutters, "Aw, phooey."

I chuckle humorlessly.

"Well, at least you were right about Penumbra being your friend."

Uncle Scrooge shakes his head. 

"That's the least of our worries right now. First, we need to make our way to the Bin. I've got a plan." We all pile into the family station wagon, Uncle Scrooge in the passenger side while Beakley drives at least three times the speed limit. "Faster, Beakley! The Bin is the most secure place in town!"

Dewey stands from his spot in the far back seat with Webby and I, a fearless expression on his face.

"This is it!" He opens the back window. "Saving Earth is my Dew-stiny! Come face the chosen one!"

Laser fire scorches the station wagon as Webby shuts the back window, and I pull Dewey back into his seat, buckling him in tightly.

"This is not the time for a hero moment, Dewford!"

Mom speaks up from her spot behind us, Huey and Louie on either side of her as she watches out the front windshield.

"Why are they doing this? They liked Lucky and me so much!"

Uncle Scrooge exclaims from the passenger seat, "Enough! I have a plan..."

We finally get inside the Bin, and the garage door shuts. The Bin is surrounded by laser gun-wielding Moonlanders. We race up the stairs to the meeting room, Uncle Scrooge slamming the door open to reveal Dr. Gearloose. His glasses reflect enough light from the projector screen that his eyes are hidden in the dark room.

Uncle Scrooge exclaims, "Gyro! It's time. Unleash... the Unstoppa-Bomb!"

Gyro looks up at us and the glare in his glasses disappears as he starts to speak.

"The Moonlanders, um, already found that and stopped it."

"What? Uh, alright then... Activate the Doomsday Ray!"

"That was, like, the first thing they took out."

"Okay... I swore I'd never have to initiate our worst weapon-"

"And you never will, because they destroyed that, too. This was a very well-planned invasion."

Suddenly, the projector starts to glitch, showing Lunaris with something gold behind him taking up the entire background. I can only guess at what it might be, and it worries me.

"Greeting, puny Earthers. I am General Lunaris on the vastly superior Planet Moon."

Everyone but Mom and I blink at that in confusion.

Uncle Scrooge protests, "The moon's not a planet-"

Mom interrupts him.

"Yeah, it's a whole thing with them."

I add, "Especially Lunaris. He gets super upset when you even mention that the moon revolves around the Earth."

Lunaris continues, "For too long, my people have lived in fear of your Earth hanging in the sky. The time has come for the Earth to fear us! I now wish to speak to Scrooge McDuck. 'Smarter than the smarties', eh? Heh. Perhaps on Earth."

Uncle Scrooge growls.

"You scurrilous space scoundrel!"

"You've probably just realized that I've taken out your defenses, and you've retreated to the strength of your impenetrable 'Money Bin'."

"What you don't know is that family-"

"But as we all know, your family is the greatest strength of all. Which is why I'm coming for them next." The projector shifts to show a gigantic golden Spear touching down over McDuck Manor, while Uncle Scrooge gasps. "Lunaris... has arrived."

"We need to call for help! Unless Lunaris took down our communication satellites, too."

Huey pipes up, "Uh, no. Louie did."

We all turn to look at Louie with various expressions, ranging from shock to fear to anger.

I shove my pointed finger into Louie's chest, exclaiming, "You did what?!"

Louie shoves my hand away, exclaiming, "That was last week! I didn't know there'd be an alien invasion this week!"

Gyro holds a finger up.

"I may have a solution."

We take the elevator down to Gyro's underwater lab, where the doctor opens a closet, many Lil Bulbs marching out into the open. The lead Bulb stands in front while Gyro holds another one, the tiny robot moving to sit down on his palm, swinging its legs.

"Lil Bulb's Bulb-Tech operates on its own network. They can talk to each other like walkie-talkies." He hands the Lil Bulb to Uncle Scrooge and leans down to address his army of little robots. "Find our allies! Go, children. Like the wind!"

The Lil Bulb army runs to the elevator. One helps another activate the 'up' button. The other bots race into the elevator, then the other two follow. The lead Lil Bulb salutes Dr. Gearloose, who salutes back as the elevator doors shut. Gyro walks away and the Lil Bulb jumps out of Uncle Scrooge's hand. Mom turns to him.

"Uncle Scrooge. Lunaris is coming for our family. We have to do something."

He nods silently, then Mom does. Uncle Scrooge turns to us kids, a smile plastered on his face.

"Kids! Great news."

Dewey asks, "We're gonna heroically face off against the enemy?"

Mom exclaims, "Better! While Gyro's Bulbs search the town for fighters, we're gonna search the globe! I need Webby's skills, Dewey's gusto, Huey's know-how, Lucky's fighting prowess, and Louie?" She turns to Louie, who's staring sadly at Uncle Scrooge's model of Duckburg. Mom places her hand on his head. "I need you to see the angles I can't."

Louie smiles, saying with pride, "I won't let you down, Mom."

Mom ruffles Louie's hair and raises a fist.

"To the Cloudslayer!"

Us kids make exclamations of joy, running to the elevator, then out of the Bin and into the plane, evading Moonlanders as we take flight. Once we reach a large, vast desert, Huey radios in on one of our Lil Bulbs.

"Huey to Uncle Scrooge. Our top-secret mission is underway. Good thing this is a secure line, or the Moonlanders would know we're in Egypt. I repeat, we are approaching Egypt. And our first stop: the Temple of Toth-Ra!"

He grunts while the Lil Bulb starts pulling on his beak. Louie pulls out a map, pointing to our destination.

"We'll bring Amunet's army of living Mummies back to Duckburg. My sources tell me our pal Djinn is in the area, too. A regular ol' two-fer."

Mom nods from the pilot's seat, saying, "Good thinking. All part of the plan."

"Huey, got those bulb phones ready?"

Huey grunts as he struggles against a half dozen Lil Bulbs.

"Mhm, yeah- Working on it!"

I point at a pyramid in the distance, exclaiming, "There's the pyramid!"

Louie and Huey turn toward the front as the plane closes in on the pyramid where my brothers told me they and the family fought Toth-Ra.

Louie exclaims, "Perfect! We swoop down, pick up our forces, and get back to Duckburg before the invasion can... spread."

But a golden Spear has already landed.

We all mutter in unison, "Oh, boy."

The Cloudslayer flies ahead, but we make sure to drop two Lil Bulbs down to our allies, the bots floating down with mini parachutes. It's hard to see what's going on in the commotion below, but it looks like there's at least 8 Moonlanders attacking as we look on in horror.

Mom exclaims, "No, no!"

Huey radios in as the Lil Bulbs are close to the ground.

"Djinn, Amunet, it's Huey Duck. You guys okay down there?"

Amunet takes a Lil Bulb from the air, exclaiming amidst laser fire, "We'll be fine!"

Djinn radios in, "Moon, Sun, or the North Star itself; nothing will prevent me from upholding my-" We can hear him get blasted by a laser. "Ooh! My haunches!"

Huey exclaims desperately, "Don't worry, we're coming for you!"

Mom snatches the bot from Huey.

"Where are the rest of you people?"

"Safe! In the pyramid!"

Louie turns to the rest of us kids.

"Dewey, Webby, Lucky, watch for lasers. Mom, take us down!" Mom takes the wheel and grunts, but instead takes the plane up. "No, Mom, lower. Go down- No, the pyramid's the other way."

Mom looks dead ahead, fear evident in her eyes.

"There's no place to land."

Dewey points out several different places to land.

"There's a spot. There's another spot. In fact, it is mostly flat desert out there."

"Djinn and Amunet can't hold them back much longer. The Moonlanders will invade the pyramid."

I exclaim, "And that's exactly why we should go down and help fend them off!"

Mom shakes her head. "But then we'd get captured, too! We're not safe here!"

Louie looks confused, asking, "But... what about the plan? Reinforcements, and-"

"We'll find them someplace... safer."

Amunet radios in, "I can't believe we defeated a sun god only to be attacked by moon people! If only there was some kinda, I don't know, a moon god!"

We all exclaim, "Or goddess!"

Mom adds, "To Ithaquack!"

The plane flies away from the desert and we eventually make our way to Greece, landing on an island hidden by the clouds and fog surrounding it. Outside Zeus' temple, Huey is still struggling with the Lil Bulbs while Webby throws a kick that Dewey blocks, and Louie, Mom, and I climb the stairs to the temple's entrance door.

Louie knocks, asking, "Hello? Selene? Goddess of the Moon?"

The door opens quickly, only for a bolt of lightning to shoot out, barely missing us as the door slams shut again. Zeus, most likely. Uncle Scrooge said that he hates our family even though his kids, Selene and Storkules love Mom and Donald.

Mom exclaims, "Open the ding-dang door, ya pantheon of palookas!"

I can hear a woman's voice, slightly muffled from behind the thick doors.

"We'd love to help you, but we're kinda... grounded."

Then I hear another voice, this one male, pleading to Zeus.

"Father, please! What of the Earth? What of my Donald?!"

Then a third, much older man's voice.

"No! We are not helping Scrooge McDuck! If the mortals jumped off a bridge, would you jump, too?"

"Yes, Father, for I am immortal!"

It sounds like the younger guy gets zapped by lighting. Mom continues pounding her fists on the door.

"Please, let us in!"

Louie adds, "So we can figure out a plan to stop the Moonlanders!"

"We need to hide!"

"Out plan from spies! So... maybe we can talk it over on the plane back to Duckburg?"

"We can't ever go back to Duckburg!"

"Without you! I think..."

I finally pipe up.

"Mom, what are you saying? I'm getting a little lost here."

"Trust me, it's the plan. You don't need to know every part of the plan, but it's a great plan!"

Louie asks, "Is part of the plan saying 'plan' a lot? Look, what's going on here, Mom?"

I add, "I thought the plan was to gather allies and fly back to Duckburg! What aren't you telling us? Why are we really here?"

Mom's lips part for a split second, her eyebrows furrow as she finally turns to face me and Louie. Just a s she was about to say something, her eye shoots to the side and she ducks, pulling Louie and I down to the ground just as a burst of energy lands where we were just standing.

I look up at where the energy blast came from, and I see a golden Spear replica high above us. We take cover just as more energy blasts hit two pillars next to the door. Mom grunts, grabbing mine and Louie's hands as we run back to the Cloudslayer. The door opens slightly behind us and I hear the woman from earlier.

"Sorry! Call me later. We'll hang out if we're not all conquered!"

We take flight as quickly as we can, the rocket in hot pursuit. Inside the plane, us kids are all screaming in our seats. Mom pulls out our map and looks at it from the pilot's seat in the cockpit. The plane begins to lose altitude, but Mom stabilizes it, setting her prosthetic leg on the console before turning her attention back to the map.

"Okay. We can get to Dawson Mines... Ooh! Or the caves of Mt. Never rest!"

Huey pipes up, "But those places are abandoned."

I add, "We're supposed to be looking for recruits to fight Lunaris, remember?"

Louie scoffs, "I'm sure Mom's just, y'know, looking to set up a second base to attack from."

"Uh huh."

Laser fire breaks off the right float of the plane, and Mom is thrown from the cockpit with a scream. She quickly stands back up, grabbing the steering wheel and sending the Cloudslayer high up, the golden rocket following suit. Mom looks behind her at us kids as we hold onto our seats for dear life.

We didn't have time to buckle up, nor would we have time to unbuckle when we land with an attacker following so close behind us. Huey's grip on his seat slips and he screams as he goes flying.

"Huey!"

Dewey is able to catch his wrist, but he starts falling with him. I grab his leg, and Webby grabs my wrist, clinging her other arm to the rails. Dewey starts boasting immediately.

"Don't worry, the hero of Earth's here to save you!" I clear my throat, and he's quick to add, "And Lucky and Webby are here to save me. Dewey Ex Machina!"

Suddenly, the engine stalls out while Mom climbs back into the pilot's seat. She pops her leg back on, then moves the steering wheel. The engine roars as we pass our pursuer. Mom moves the wheel back while the plane brushes against the ocean as she works to right the plane. Webby pulls me up, and I pull up Dewey, who pulls up Huey, and Louie joins us in the cockpit.

Dewey pipes up, "We have to go back to Duckburg."

Webby adds, "The plan's not working. We had a chance to get Amunet and Djinn, but we ran away."

Huey adds, "And back in Ithaquack, you were more worried about getting us in than getting reinforcements out. It's almost like..."

I exclaim, "The plan isn't about finding help, is it? It's about running away!"

Louie adds, "We're being scammed!"

Mom's lip quivers as she continues staring out the windshield, not even looking at us as she responds.

"Lunaris is targeting us! If I'd told the truth, you wouldn't have come!"

Dewey asks, "So we don't fight back? We leave our friends and family?!"

Mom finally turns to face us, exclaiming, "You're my family! I can't lose you again!"

Laser fire hits the engine and the Cloudslayer spirals out of control while we scream, holding onto each other for support. I close my eyes tight as we get closer and closer to the ground. This could really be it. I survive the Moon just to die from Moonlanders on Earth. I should've just told my family the truth. I don't feel like I belong because--

I wake up, laying flat on the ground just outside the Cloudslayer. Looks like we landed on some island. I brush sand out of my feathers as I stand up, my family running out of the Cloudslayer. The cockpit's right window is broken, the glass getting buried under sand as they run over to me. Mom picks me up and swings me around in a tight hug.

"We made it! You're okay!" She plants a few kisses on my cheek, hugging me tighter. "Oh, baby, please don't scare me like that again!"

"Can't... breathe!"

"Whoops."

Mom sets me back down, and I take in a few deep breathes, coughing out some sand in between. My brothers surround me in a group hug, Webby wiping a happy tear from her face as she watches. I roll my eyes, popping an arm out of the group hug to gesture her over.

"Come on, Webs. You're family, too."

She beams, jumping into the group hug. And I mean that literally. She lands on my back, flattening me back into the sand as we laugh.

Huey finally pipes up, "Sorry to break up the happy family moment, but we're stuck."

I ask, "What's the chances of that?"

"You'd have to be pretty unlucky to be stranded here."

Mom gasps as nearby bushes rustle, a figure cast in shadow getting closer. We all gasp, and Mom stands in front of us kids in a defensive pose, ready to attack if necessary. The figure steps out and reveals themself to be a duck guy Mom's height with a long, scruffy beard. He looks familiar, but I just can't place why. That is, until Mom mutters something.

"Donald?"

The bearded duck, my uncle, exclaims, "Della?!"

Donald holds up a watermelon with two smaller melons attached like ears, and a face drawn on it in permanent marker, and he speaks for it in a falsetto voice.

"Hot dog! We've got company!"

Chapter 19: Moonvasion (part 2)

Chapter Text

Mom and Donald stare at each other in silence. I don't think Mom even registered the melon ventriloquism, her and her twin brother staring at each other in silence for the first time in over a decade. They slowly step closer to each other as my brothers and Webby and I step back, letting them have their reunion.

That is, until they start shouting at each other.

"Where have you been?!"

"If you were home when I got back, you'd know I was stuck on the moon! Which, by the way, is invading us!"

"I know! I warned you!"

"We didn't get a warning!"

I step over and grab Mom's hand, pulling her away from Donald.

"Stop yelling at each other! Come on, Mom. Aren't you the one always telling me that siblings shouldn't fight?"

I turn to look at my uncle. Truly look at him outside of a photograph. He looks me right in the eyes, confusion and recognition evident in his eyes and brows. He opens his mouth to say something over and over until suddenly Dewey tackles him to the ground, pulling on his beard in anger.

"I could've been Turbo! You owe me 11 years of Turbo!"

I let go of Mom's hand and pull Dewey off, hugging his torso tightly as he tries to lunge at Donald again and Mom helps Donald back to his feet, then jabs at his chest.

"Don't change the subject! Just because I missed you doesn't mean I'm not mad at you!"

"I missed you too, ya big dummy!"

The older twins stare at each other, finally embracing each other tightly as tears form in their eyes. And then the melon appears again.

"Oh boy, I love a reunion!"

"Whoa!" Mom backs away from her brother and over to us kids. She crosses her arms and rests her chin on one of her hands, whispering to Huey, "Has the melon been a thing the whole time I've been gone, or..."

"No, that's new."

Donald continues speaking for the melon in a voice that's somehow much easier to understand than his usual squawking.

"Thank goodness you found us! After Penumbra helped Donald escape those evil Moonlanders, why, he crash-landed on this island."

Donald continues in his regular voice.

"Where I met my best friend."

He positions the melon to make it look like it kisses his cheek. This is so weird. Mom takes a second to take in what Donald said and she finally perks up.

"You met Penny on the moon? Is she okay? I miss her constantly trying to impale me."

I roll my eyes.

"That part, I don't miss so much."

Donald's attention falls back on me as I speak again.

He looks between me and Mom a few times before asking, "Is that... She was with you the whole time?"

I grimace at that.

"It's 'he' now, actually. I'm Lucky. And yes, I grew up on the moon with Mom. She told me a bunch of stories about you two growing up."

Donald's eyes water at that, his lip trembling. Mom smirks, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"He's a lot like you, Donald. It was like I had a little piece of you with me while I was gone. I imagine you felt the same way."

Donald sniffles, rushing over and picking me up into a crushing bear hug. I can't even move my arms to hug him back with them pinned to my sides. All I can do is rest my hand on his shoulders as he sets me back down on my feet, kneeling down to cup my cheek with his hand.

I smile at him, wrapping my arms around his neck, almost knocking him off balance as I whisper, "I always wanted to meet you." He hugs me again, picking me up with my arms still around his neck. "So what have you been doing on this island all alone?"

The melon is back.

"We've been having a real good time. Sharing sandwiches, drinking sea water smoothies to drown our sorrows..."

Webby raises an eyebrow.

"You've been surviving on sea water and sand this whole time?"

I add, "That can't have been good for you."

"But now I'm saved!"

He gestures and the others to come close and he sets me down, pulling everyone into a group hug as the melon pops up again.

"You must have been searching for him for months!"

Huey's eyes shoot open and she nervously says, "Yes! We totally knew you were missing and not on a cruise."

Dewey asks, "Did we?"

Webby nudges him with her elbow.

"Yes. That's why we're here."

Mom adds, speaking at the same time as Webby, "That's what the melon said."

We pull away from the hug, feeling awkward. Donald spins the melon around to face him.

"I told you your family would never forget about you! Which is why you have to go back, my friend."

He places his other hand on his cheek as if it was the melons, and he turns toward us with a look of determination.

"Lunaris is a monster! We've gotta go help Uncle Scrooge!"

Louie exclaims, "Now that we found you, we can all fight Lunaris together!"

I roll my long sleeve up my arms and punch my own fist, smirking as I add, "I've been waiting for a good fight."

We all start marching toward the broken Cloudslayer until Mom stops us.

"No way. The plan is to keep you as far away from danger as possible. Besides, Scrooge knows exactly what he's doing."

All us kids sigh and walk away, sitting on the beach. After a few minutes, Webby suddenly perks up.

"Oh! This means we finally have time for that talk!"

She turns to face me expectantly alongside Huey and Dewey, making me nervous.

"What talk? I don't know what you're talking about."

Louie shrugs. He wasn't there for my tantrum the day he got grounded. He was already upstairs in his room. And every time they've tried to bring it up since then, he hasn't been in the room. Dewey rolls his eyes, crossing his arms.

"You know exactly what we're talking about, Luc. It's about that stuff you said about feeling like you don't belong."

Huey adds, "Can you at least tell us why you feel that way?"

I sigh.

"There's no getting out of this, is there."

"Nope! You've got nowhere to run to this time! And if you try you won't make it very far."

"Okay, super threatening, Webs. Fine. You really wanna know?"

Dewey's arms shoot straight out in front of him in frustration like in our shared dream when Huey revealed his freakishly long legs.

"Yes! That's what we've been trying to do all week!"

"Fine! It's because you guys just fit in so well together! You're all like a puzzle where every piece fits in perfectly, and there's nothing anybody can do to break you guys apart. And where does that leave me? The extra piece that doesn't fit in anywhere. It can connect with the other pieces okay, but it's not secure. It breaks away at even a hint of difference. You guys have stuck together so long your pieces only fit with each other and there's no more room for anything new."

They all just stare at me as I continue.

"It's just... You're my family. It shouldn't feel this hard to fit in. And I feel awful about feeling like this in the first place with how welcoming and accepting you guys have been since day one."

It's Webby that's the first the speak after a few minutes.

"I used to feel that way, too. And then I met Lena, and we started making our own history and I realized that's what I'd been doing with your brothers the whole time. Sure, they still had stuff in their past that I wasn't there for and I just won't understand. But we started making new memories together, and it felt like the stuff before didn't really matter anymore. Everyone has a past, Lucky. But you're a part of our present, and the future."

Louie pulls me into a side hug, adding, "And there's always room for new pieces. Sure, there's been a bit of an adjustment period, but there is with all changes, good and bad. You're one of the best changes I've ever had in my life. You and Mom."

Dewey ruffles my hair, making me laugh.

"We'll make so many more memories together that you'll forget we were ever apart. I'm making it my vow as your older brother to make as many memories with you as possible."

Huey places a hand on my back, adding, "And as the oldest brother. I always thought there was something missing in our sibling dynamic, and until you showed up, I didn't know what it was. Now that you're here, it feels complete."

I smile, wiping a tear from my eyes. I should've just told them sooner. It felt good to finally get it off my chest, and even better to hear their responses.

"Thanks. I love you guys so much."

"And we love you, too."

They all responded in unison. Finally, Donald sits down with us after a while, and we start coming up with a plan for how to leave the island, Huey drawing out a diagram.

"So, let's see. We've got this tree, sand, and water. Whole lot of both. How can this get us home?"

Dewey raises his hand excitedly, exclaiming, "Oh! Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh!"

Louie holds a hand up to our brother's beak to shush him.

"Keeping in mind Dewey can't surf us to safety because he does not know how to surf."

"We don't know that until I try!"

Dewey takes a broken plane part for a makeshift surf board, but the waves almost immediately push him back to the island. Webby waves at him as he floats back over to us in a seated position.

"Welcome back!"

Mom exclaims, "Who's up for beach volleyball? Melon, I'm looking at you! Because we're gonna need a ball."

Donald shields the melon, exclaiming, "No!"

I stand up, brushing sand off my legs.

"We don't have time for games, Mom. We need to get back to Duckburg! We've wasted enough time out here as is."

"It's too dangerous. We don't know what's waiting for us back there."

Webby exclaims, "But the Earth needs our help!"

"Scrooge will handle it."

Louie pipes up, "And how are we supposed to survive?!"

"It's fine! Everything's fine. We got a bunch of sand, zero contact with the outside world, a crashed plane we could use as a house, and... hey! Shoo!" She runs after a crab trying to steal a plane part. "Monster taking my stuff!" The crab snaps its claws onto her foot, holding on as she lifts her foot, trying to shake it off. "Ah! Living here is great!"

I grab a stick and whack at the crab until it lets go of Mom, running off. Then I turn to her.

"No offense, Mom, but we might as well be back on the moon. This is all way too familiar for comfort."

Mom's eyes widen, and she exclaims, "What?!" Her eyes turn wild as she laughs hysterically. "You must be delirious from hunger! Here, have some delicious Oxy... Chew..."

"See? This is exactly like I was saying! And you hate black licorice!"

"Oh, no! No, no, no! This is the moon all over again!"

She drops the Oxy-Chew and kicks Donald's melon away, Donald exclaiming for it, "See you real soon!" It splashes into the ocean, and it takes Donald a second to respond.

"Noooo!"

Mom's eyes move between us kids, then storms off into the Cloudslayer. Louie and I look at each other and nod, following her. She's humming her lullaby as she sets the picture she drew of my brothers before I hatched on the wall. Louie clears his throat, then speaks up.

"Hey, Mom."

"I drew this back when I had to imagine what you boys looked like."

Louie walks over as I grab Mom's hand on her other side.

"I think you really nailed Dewey."

Mom sighs, letting go of my hand.

"On the moon, all I could think about was being your mom, the adventures, the fun... I wasn't prepared for... all this."

Louie sits down with Mom, sighing.

"Look, I hate surprises. I like seeing every angle of a situation so that I can take control of it. But you can't plan for everything. Sometimes a robot boy uses you as a pinata."

I giggle, adding, "And then you rescue a rich boy's new grandma and she steals all your gold."

Mom's eyebrows knit.

"I think I'm losing the thread here."

Louie smiles, resting an arm around my shoulders.

"But sometimes, the mom and sibling you thought you lost come back. And that's a surprise too. So you deal with the bad surprises because they may lead to a good one."

"But what if Lunaris succeeds? What if I lose you again? What if-"

Louie interrupts her.

"You know, when I'm terrified - which is often - I try to remember this old song." He starts singing Mom's lullaby. "Face each new sun with eyes clear and true, unafraid of the unknown-"

Mom gets up as she holds Louie's face, and the three of us continue the song together.

"Because I'll face it all with you."

Mom smiles, and I say, "Hey, that's the lullaby Mom wrote!"

She wipes tears of joy from the corner of her eye, asking, "How did you hear it?"

"Uncle Donald used to sing it to us when we were little."

Donald must've overheard, since he's in the doorway to the Cloudslayer.

"That's true. Every night."

Mom chuckles, saying quietly, "That's a pretty good surprise." I grab Mom's hand again, and she picks me up this time, holding me in one arm as the other pumps in the air with newfound determination. "Let's go face the unknown together!" We reenter the beach and stand with the rest of our shipwrecked family. "So, any ideas on how to get back, or..."

"Ahoy there!"

At the sound of a new voice, we all look out at the ocean at a gigantic krill with two ducks standing atop it's head, one in a red sweater and red beanie, the other in a fancy green tux with his feathers slicked back and holding Donald's melon. The krill pulls a blimp along with it as it approaches the island. Huey gasps, seemingly recognizing the krill.

"Mitzi?"

Mom adds, "Cousin Gladstone! Cousin Fethry!"

So these guys are family? Must be part of the extended family that doesn't live in Duckburg since I haven't seen either of them before. The cousin in red exclaims, pointing at each of us in order.

"Della? Donald? Huey? Dewey? Green kid? Girl kid? Small kid? Airplane? Palm tree?"

The cousin in green shoves a piece of melon into the other cousin's mouth to silence him, then speaks himself.

"Hey, fam! Want some melon?" He starts taking bites of the melon in between sentences. "Luckily, my blimp was blown clear of the invasion, and out to sea. That's where Fethry and the lovely Mitzi."

So the green one is Gladstone, then. I think Mom told me about him once, but all I know about him is that he's supernaturally lucky, and that he ticks off Donald a lot because my uncle is supernaturally unlucky. Gladstone sips some juice from the melon, then continues.

"And just as I was getting peckish, we saw these melons floating in the ocean, which led us here! Crazy, huh? This. Is. Delicious. You want some, Donaldo?"

We all just stare at the half-eaten remains of Donald's only friend for the last month is surprise, Donald wearing an expression of horror. I'm sure he'd be strangling Gladstone right now if he could.

"You guys need a lift?"

By process of elimination, that must be Fethry. I think Huey told me once that he and Dewey went on an adventure with him and Huey thought he was a scientist or something. Neither of them wanted to tell me much about that adventure for some reason.

Gladstone and (mostly) Fethry help us onto Mitzi, and it continues pulling the blimp as it turns around, making its way back to Duckburg. Donald's shaved his beard, looking much more like the duck I saw in Mom's photos. The adults have struck poses, my siblings and Webby having struck similar poses. Dewey breaks his pose for a second to look at the adults and droops as he sees who's pose he was matching.

"Aw, man. Am I the Uncle Donald?"

As Duckburg finally comes into view, the water is frozen over, and Mitzi is travelling slower over the ice, careful to not wobble too much with us on its back. It looks like Lunaris is fighting Glomgold and Uncle Scrooge, and winning. I can't hear anything they're saying until Lunaris is pinning Uncle Scrooge down, the duck looking very worn down.

"Any last words?"

Uncle Scrooge perks up as Mitzi's shadow overtakes Lunaris.

"Hi, kids."

We all exclaim, "Hi, Uncle Scrooge!"

Mitzi starts pulling at the supports of Lunaris' massive golden Spear replica that's upside down and pushing the Earth out of orbit, and Lunaris drops Uncle Scrooge.

"None of this makes any sense! No, no!"

He runs into the rocket, and Mitzi continues pulling at the support, Fethry cheering it on.

"Pull, Mitzi, pull!"

But the support doesn't seem to be coming free at all, or even moving anymore.

Gladstone says resignedly, "Looks like we're outta luck."

He drops the remains of the melon, which is caught by nearby seagulls, but dropped again in front of Launchpad, who's inside the rocket and messing with the controls. The seagulls start attacking him, causing him to pull a lever, releasing the support Mitzi was trying to pull, and then he falls out of the Spear before it starts falling over.

Taking advantage of its still active thruster, Mitzi catches the falling aircraft on its back, and aims it back towards the moon, holding onto Mitzi tightly as it takes off. We all start cheering and climb down from the giant krill, Uncle Scrooge's eyes landing onto Donald.

"About time you came home! I hope you had a relaxing vacation while the rest of us were defending the planet-" He stops at the sight of Donald's angry face and the rest of us making a cutting motion over our necks to signal him to stop. "Oh, was he not on a cruise, then?"

All of a sudden, our cheers come to a halt as Lunaris' rocket turns around to face the Earth again.

Glomgold asks, "So, you guys got it from here, right?"

He doesn't even wait for a response before running off. Coward. Lunaris' aircraft starts getting closer again, and Mom turns around, finding another, much smaller Spear replica.

"Don't I owe you kids a trip to space?"

We run into the rocket and into the cockpit, Mom immediately getting to work to start it up. We start flying to Lunaris, but he starts firing lasers at us.

"Look out!"

Donald grabs the controls from Mom and steers the ship out of danger.

Uncle Scrooge says, "Alright, we have to take out that engine before it hits Earth!"

Mom salutes him.

"Yes, sir! But I can't get near that engine while his laser turrets are on!"

Uncle Scrooge turns to the rest of us.

"Kids, knock out those lasers!"

Huey takes a laser chair, and Louie and I share a seat.

"Lucky, you aim, I'll fire."

I nod.

Webby and Dewey share another, Webby exclaiming, "Yeah!"

Donald and Mom fight over the pilot's seat.

"Move! This is a ship, and I am a sailor!"

"This is a rocket ship, genius! I'm a pilot!"

Uncle Scrooge smirks.

"Oh, bless me bagpipes, have I missed this."

Louie exclaims to me, "Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up!"

I move the laser gun's aim higher, as we all knock out the laser turrets all around Lunaris' ship, but not without taking quite a few blows to our own.

Once they're all down, Uncle Scrooge exclaims, "One more run and we can knock out that engine!"

The turrets all suddenly reactivate, shooting all around us until we're forced right into the fire spewing out the back of the rocket, which starts melting the tip of our aircraft and even starting to heat up inside.

Louie exclaims, "What are you doing?!"

Mom replies, "I can't find an angle out!"

All of a sudden, Mom's original Spear appears, taking out Lunaris' engine but exploding in the process. Penumbra smacks against the front window.

"Hi, roomie!"

Mom exclaims, "Penny! Didn't see that one coming! Anyway, this is my family! You know Donald?"

"Let me in!"

"Oh, right."

We let Penumbra into the ship and fly back down to Earth, Lunaris' aircraft being declared Earth's newest moon by Mom's moon goddess friend Selene. When we land, there's a crowd cheering for us, including Moonlanders, who've shed all their armor and don't have their laser guns on them anymore.

All of a sudden, Glomgold exclaims, "I did it! I defeated Scrooge McDuck!"

The crowd starts cheering for Glomgold for some reason, and Uncle Scrooge yells back, "We were on the same team!"

Louie lets out a relieved sigh, saying, "Well, we survived that. So, what do we do now?"

Mom responds, "I don't know, but we'll do it together."

The whole family, including all of our friends and allies, all embrace. We're all one heck of a team, aren't we?