Chapter Text
Boredom is a state of indifference and lack of interest. According to scientists' definitions, it is also a negative emotional state consisting of a feeling of inner emptiness, discouragement or indifference. They say boredom teaches you how to feel good about yourself and to like yourself and your company. In my opinion, it only exists to torment me when there are lots of people around me but I can't do anything I want.
And why am I even here? And where, you ask, dear reader? Well, this slightly boring but quite interesting story, full of romance, although mostly invisible, death - there is actually plenty of it - and adventures and friendship. The story that I want to tell you, begins at the most boring birthday banquet in the world. Mine for clarity.
“Kai, focus.” my sister growled furtively, nudging me with a fake smile plastered on her lips, slightly breaking me from my thoughts about boredom.
I rolled my eyes in annoyance and smiled at the group of high-born women standing nearby, who started giggling at this and ran to hide behind a pillar, whispering feverishly about me. Wow, what idiots! It's not appropriate to talk about women like that, but thinking is not talking. Is that really enough for them? The question is, what do they care more about, my social status or my appearance? Both are great. And I'm not being arrogant about it, I'm just being honest. I mean, I'm arrogant, but not in this case.
“Stop flirting and come, father wants to make some important announcement and he said to find you.” my younger sister said, pulling me through all the people towards the dais where I saw my father talking to an unknown nobleman.
“And here's our birthday boy!” Ray shouted when he saw me, ignoring his interlocutor, who immediately fled after a short bow.
"Hi. Nya says you called for me.” I said wearily, not yet knowing what awaited me.
“Ah yes.” the man said to me, turning to face the rest of the guests, placing his hand on my shoulder, which made me flinch slightly. “Everyone's attention please!”
As soon as my dad said that, the eyes of every person in the room turned to us. I waited impatiently to see what this man had come up with next, while winking at the beautiful ladies of the court accompanying my sister as they blushed nervously and straightened their hair, and Nya only discreetly snorted at their behavior. Here I am and my shallow entertainments in this golden prison.
“I would like to share great news with you all. Well, my son, Kai, who celebrates his twentieth birthday today, officially begins his search for a wife, the future Queen of Ardentiigne!” the king announced and I froze, but immediately straightened up and pretended I wasn't surprised at all, keeping a lazy smile on my face.
I guess it worked because everyone started applauding and some of the girls were discreetly adjusting their outfits and hairstyles, trying to get my attention.
“Gods bless Ardentiigne!” shouted someone in the crowd, and people immediately started toasting.
“Bless Ardentiigne! And the present and future king!” voices echoed in my head as I smiled and talked to the various guests who approached me, but inside me I was begging anyone for a chance to escape.
The further, the better.
*****
"What was that?" I asked my father angrily as soon as I followed him out of the party a few hours later.
“Mind your tone.” he warned me, glaring at me with those same amber-brown eyes I always saw when I looked in the mirror.
It was in moments like these, when he used that look, that I reminded myself that he was king, not just by inheritance, but that he had earned his position with sword and axe. We are supposedly related in a direct line, but I see him as a warrior, a soldier and a king more often than a father, who he is only at certain moments, and not when I might need him.
"Sorry. Now can you explain to me what you announced to everyone? About my supposed wedding? What kind of idea is this?” I asked more calmly, knowing that otherwise I wouldn't learn anything.
“Exactly what you hear. You are already at an age where you should start looking for a wife and produce an heir.” the king announced with a smile, and I felt myself getting sick.
“The heir?!” I repeated, panicked.
"Just like that. As my only successor, you must ensure the continuity of our lineage. Don't make your great uncle's mistake.” the man said as he led me through the halls, nodding to the guards he encountered along the way.
King Dorian Smith, my father's uncle, never married or had any children, so when he died, the throne would go to one of three candidates. My father, his brother Philip, or Dorian's sister's son, Juno. My father's younger brother died of a terrible disease shortly after the king's death, so he was not involved in the argument for the throne, but Ray and Princess Lilliana's son fought for power for a very long time. As a result of their quarrels, other countries tried to conquer the lands of Ardentiigne and thus a war broke out, which fortunately ended with the victory of my father, who managed to save our kingdom. The other candidate for the crown, Juno, died in mysterious circumstances, and my father officially became king.
“There's still Nya.” I dropped it off, not even believing it would do anything.
“Don't joke like that Kai, your sister is a woman. She cannot rule.” Ray said dismissively, waving his hand.
“I'm only twenty! "I'm not ready to have a baby." I said, barely able to pronounce the last word.
“You are twenty years old. At your age, I had to fight for the throne and defend the kingdom. Fortunately, later I met your beautiful mother, who from an aristocrat became a wonderful queen and very quickly gave me an heir, you. Now I can rule peacefully, but who knows what the future will bring? You must be ready to take the throne when I am gone.” my father announced and I rolled my eyes.
“I can be king and then get married.” I suggested.
“What if you don't get the chance? What if you die without leaving an heir? Our country will fall, this will happen, and everything I fought so hard for will be gone.” said the king.
“Or maybe not at all? Our people or enemies will not attack at the exact moment you die.” I interjected.
“We can already hear disturbing rumors of a rebellion. I do everything for these people, but they always feel bad, ungrateful fools, that's what they are. They will take advantage of every opportunity, regardless of the consequences of their actions. Our subjects cannot see into the future because they do not care about it, they are not educated like us and they do not understand how important we are to the future of this kingdom. In such circumstances, you should always be a few steps ahead of your opponent.” the king explained, looking out one of the windows and pointing to the area outside the castle. “Kai, as king, you will be responsible for all this. Remember what my father taught me; sometimes you will have to sacrifice something to gain something. Tomorrow you will go to meet the suitable candidates chosen by your mother to be the future queen, and Nya will go with you.”
With these words he left me alone in the corridor, without giving me a chance to object. Furious, I punched the stone wall, which was a terrible idea, but I only realized it when my hand started to hurt. Feeling that if I stayed in this place any longer I would go mad, I set off for the gardens. Nobody knew that in the fence behind the orchard there was a hole through which one could get to a huge clearing surrounded by rocks and a fragment of a wall on all sides. I made sure no one found her myself. This was my place, my sanctuary, to which only I had access. Only there I could be myself, and not the character of an arrogant, flirtatious prince I had created without any problems. It was at this point that I was able to abandon a game that no actor would be ashamed of.
This is where I dropped all my masks, and that's what I did in that moment, allowing my rage to vent. Slowly, a real flame took shape in my hand, responding to my commands, taking the shapes of a rabbit, a fox, a snake and a dragon at my request. I loved the feeling of something so dangerous and powerful whispering to me and fawning over me like a cat. I have no idea where my power comes from, but I know that I could bring the world to its knees with it if I wanted to.
That's why I made sure no one ever knew this secret. My father would use this power for conquest no matter what, my enemies would try to kill me with all their might, and ordinary people would be terrified, and that's not what I wanted. Maybe I was wasting my potential, as a crazy old man who once showed up at the palace accused me, claiming that I had a bigger responsibility than I thought and that I couldn't listen to the poisons of my father, who was literally sitting right next to me. The madman paid with his life, but he made me think.
Not that I had any chance of breaking free from my father's rule. The only way was the death of one of us, and I would never take that step. No matter what circumstances I had to make such a decision, I couldn't kill him, not even because he was my father. Rather, because of remorse for murder.
By shaping the fire and practicing my control over it, I slowly calmed down, cutting myself off from thoughts of my father, power, marriage, or children. I hushed it all, letting the flame flow down to the ground and surround me, burning the patches of grass I stood on, growing larger and larger, and after a while I stretched my arms out in front of me and thus forced it to take a certain shape and move as I wanted. I was like a puppeteer, moving a willless puppet, the only huge difference was that if I lost control of mine, it would become a huge threat to the surroundings. I stopped only when I started to feel tired, transferring the fire to my hand and after reducing it to a small flame, I clenched my fist and extinguished it.
Tired and barely able to breathe, I wiped away the sweat that had formed on my temple and looked up at the sky. Just above my head were hundreds of stars and a silver moon in the shape of a narrow croissant. Suddenly, a shooting star appeared at the edge of my vision.
“Show me the way because I don't know what to do. Let something change.” I asked the star, not even thinking that my wish might come true.