Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If anyone asked Kim Taehyung what his favourite things in the world were, he would always answer, in no particular order: music, makguksu and his grandmother.

The list constantly changed as he grew up; a few items were added and some were replaced as he found new things to obsess over, a new anime or the main vocal in a popular boy group. But his grandmother never left the inventory, having found a way to reside in Taehyung’s heart permanently. 

Something that Taehyung was not particularly fond of was hospitals. The plain white walls, the artificial floral scent of room fresheners trying to drown the smell of antiseptic wafting through the hallways, the miserable faces of loved ones waiting in the waiting room, hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. It was all too depressing for him. Each visit was accompanied by an impending sense of doom that only subsided when he got to leave.

Five despaired faces sitting inside belonged to Taehyung and his family who were huddled up in the far corner of the room, easily distinguishable by the presence of two guards standing next to them. They await his grandmother’s test results that were to come out any minute now, and it’s obvious how on edge the entire Kim family is by the way their feet tap impatiently against the floor and their gazes constantly fall on their expensive wristwatches. 

Taehyung sits a little far away from the rest. The atmosphere is tense and not just from anticipation. It’s been three years since he and his entire family were in one place at the same time. He still remembers the pain in his chest as he dropped his suitcases in the back of a taxi, taking one last look at his family standing at the door of the house he grew up in, the house he was about to leave forever.

He meets up with his mother sometimes and exchanges wishes with his brother on birthdays but his father hasn’t spoken a word to him ever since he told him to get out of his house all those years ago. Even today, the only acknowledgement he received from him was a grunt in reply to his greeting. 

Taehyung subtly takes a look at his family members. His father looks older, the lines of ageing on his face now deepened with time and stress. His hands slightly shake and his brows seem permanently etched together. He still wears his expensive suits and he still looks like he could grace the cover of a magazine but Taehyung can notice the tightness in his body and posture, a clear sign of his nervousness.

His mother looks the same but perhaps that’s because she’s the only one he sees once every few months. Slight wrinkles form at the end of her eyes from years of smiling but she isn’t doing much of that right now. She sits next to her husband, hands clasped tightly, lips murmuring a silent prayer, he assumes. His family is not necessarily religious but they need all the luck and help they can get today. 

He can hear his brother talk lowly on his phone to his right and he curbs the urge to sigh. It’s probably work-related which means his father has finally integrated his older son into the family business. Taeho looks mature as he dishes out non-stop instructions to his assistant, his bottom lip caught in his teeth as he listens to her replies intently, responding in a stern yet calm tone. They’ve never looked similar; Taeho resembles their father a lot whereas Taehyung has taken his good looks and pretty features from his mother but everyone can agree none of his family members lack in beauty. 

His thoughts are interrupted when a hand comes into his field of vision holding a steaming styrofoam cup of what smells like heavenly hot chocolate. 

Taehyung meets the gaze of Han Minji, his sister-in-law, who smiles down at him as she holds the cup. “Here you go,” she whispers in her kind voice, sitting next to him when he takes the cup with a whisper of gratitude. “I heard you don’t like coffee so I brought you some hot chocolate.”

Taehyung thanks her again with a smile. He hasn’t felt like eating or drinking anything since he found out his grandmother had been hospitalised after losing consciousness last night and he had immediately left the listening party he was attending for her. Not that he was having much fun there either.

He remembers meeting Minji four years ago, the daughter of Han Bo-chan, the CEO of Han Industries. Minji, who was twenty-four at the time, was introduced to him as his brother’s fiancee, taking over her father’s position very soon. He always admired her ability to manage everything at a young age and even though the marriage between the two was arranged, he was glad she was the one his parents chose. She’s truly kind, not the kind of person to let their ego ruin her, and Taehyung loved that about her. Their wedding was the last familial gathering he attended.

“Thank you for remembering that,” he whispers, taking a sip and almost burning his tongue. “How’s Heechan?” he asks, referring to their two-year-old son. 

A smile automatically takes over Minji’s face and she shakes her head. “A troublesome monster,” she replies, giggling. “He’s become so active now, it’s hard to keep up with him. Even two nannies don’t feel enough to tame that beast.”

Taehyung chuckles. He’s only met his nephew once when he visited the couple to congratulate them. “Just like his father, then.” He teases lightly. His brother was a fucking terror back then. 

Minji nods. “Oh, definitely,” she grins before falling silent. A moment later, she speaks again. “You should come over for dinner sometimes, you know. Heechan would love to meet his famous uncle.”

Taehyung lips purse and he uncomfortably stares down at his hands. Something twinges in his chest and all of a sudden, he feels queasy. “I don’t– I don’t know if I’m welcome at your house, to be honest.”

“Nonsense!” Minji immediately disagrees, shaking his head. She carefully glances at her husband for a second before meeting his gaze again. “Taeho misses you, you know. He’ll never say that to you but–” she sighs before continuing. “I can tell he does. He talks about you with Heechan all the time, and at every family dinner he always stares at your empty chair at the table.”

Taehyung gulps, feeling his throat tighten. Minji might be exaggerating to convince him but he truly misses his brother. They had a great bond growing up, always spending time together, Taeho gradually becoming Taehyung’s mentor despite their differing personalities as kids. There are times when Taehyung doesn’t know what to do in a situation and his fingers itch to type that text asking for help or make that call but his own ego always stops him. 

What’s the point when he’s been cast out, unforgiven and berated for nothing? He’s so quick to pull his defensive walls up but, the more Taehyung thinks about it, the more he misses his brother. Ego be damned. 

He’s about to reply that he’ll think about it when he sees their doctor approach them with a folder in hand. The four of them stand up in unison, Taeho immediately disconnecting his call when he notices. 

Taehyung can feel his heart thumping in his throat when they all bow to him in greeting. The doctor’s face is unreadable, not even a hint of a smile, and that doesn’t do much to ease his nerves. 

“Good morning, Kims. I have just spoken to the patient and she requested that her results be disclosed in the presence of her family,” he announces and the family shares a look. “If you could please follow me.”

Taehyung gulps as he and the rest of his family tail the doctor leading them to the VIP room far down the hall. His heart thuds erratically in his chest and he feels beads of sweat line his forehead. 

It’s probably nothing , he tries to calm his nerves. She probably has an iron deficiency. 

His phone rings in his pocket. He would usually ignore it but the ringtone sounds like the one he set for his manager, who knows his situation and would not call him if it wasn’t urgent. He clicks his tongue before picking up the phone, ignoring the dirty look his father sends him.

“Hey, hyung,” he whispers, his tone hurried.

“Taehyung-ah, sorry for the random call but this is important. I just checked the news and your argument last night is one of the top articles on Naver right now,” his manager says, halting his steps.

What?

“You’re not serious,” he almost yells, stopping himself in time. He’s getting enough weird looks from his family. “The party was so private, Seokjin hyung. Which celebrity couldn’t keep their mouth shut?”

His head throbs and his palms feel sweaty. Taehyung has never believed in the phrase all PR is good PR . 

Scandals can make or break a career and Taehyung has seen a lot of careers destroyed over the smallest things. He has to play the game, keep a good appearance and do his job well enough to maintain high social favour. 

Seokjin sighs on the other line. “Apparently one of the attendees has a sibling who works as a reporter. I do not know if it was on purpose yet but it’s being taken care of.”

Taehyung rubs his temples. It’s alright, he’s done this many times before. He takes a deep breath. “Okay. Reactions?”

“Neutral,” his manager answers, putting him somewhat at ease. Seokjin would never downplay the damage. “There are a few articles but the responses are the same as always. A few tweets getting annoyed at your ‘attention-seeking techniques’ have popped up but they haven’t gained much traction.”

He clicks his tongue, letting pettiness take over. “How the hell am I the attention-seeker when he started the argument?” He sees the doctor stop at the door to his grandma’s room. Taehyung sighs. This is not the place to be rehashing the utter mess that was last night. “It doesn’t matter. I need to go, hyung. Keep me updated if something major happens.”

“Alright. Let me know if you need something, hmm? Take care,” Seokjin says before cutting the call.

Taehyung clicks his tongue as he pockets his phone. “Everything okay?” Taeho whispers from next to him.

He gives him a reassuring smile. “Nothing I’m not used to.”

He isn’t exaggerating by any means. His fights with a certain someone have been making the headlines of many gossip sites lately, each article more scandalous than the last. 

Petty taunts in interviews. Arguments in person. Dirty looks at the mere mention of the other.

It’s been years and this childish enmity of theirs doesn’t seem to subside just yet. Taehyung is aware he’s currently a walking PR nightmare but he can’t seem to stop butting heads with the man who is the complete opposite of everything he stands for, everything he likes about humans in general. 

Calling him a thorn in Taehyung’s side would be the understatement of the century. He’s like a mosquito incapable of leaving him alone, constantly buzzing in your ear until you want to chop it off. 

It feels like fate is playing a cruel joke on him when he sees the upcoming F1 race advertisement playing on the television in his grandma’s room as soon as he enters. Because as he steps inside those baby blue walls, he’s met with the face he desperately avoids any chance he gets. The face that incites hot, boiling anger inside of him, the face that he urges to punch every time he sees in person. 

Jeon Jeongguk, one of the most famous F1 racers in the world.

The advertisement only shows his face for a few seconds as a participant but it’s enough to sour Taehyung’s mood immediately. His mind flashes to last night’s arguments and he tries to rid himself of the memory of the same pink lips parting open to spew the ugliest words on mankind. His grandma, who now gives him a warm smile while beckoning him, should be his only priority at the moment and nothing else matters to him more than her. 

“Oh my darling, why do you look so stunning?” his grandma whispers as they hug. 

Taehyung is confused for a second before he realises he ran here directly from yesterday’s party and probably looks silly in his shimmery golden top and white pants compared to his family, who are dressed soberly in their expensive clothes. “I, uh– I was attending a party last night when I received hyung’s call,” he explains, gulping as he recalls the way his chest fell as soon as he heard his grandma lost consciousness and was admitted to the hospital. “You scared us, halmeoni.”

His grandmother waves it off. “You worry too much about me. It’s just my old body didn’t get the memo of staying young forever.”

He shakes his head while smiling but he can clearly see she’s lying. His grandmother, who usually has a lively face now bears an expression of extreme lethargy and exhaustion. Her skin, which was supple and beautifully taken care of now clearly sags, the wrinkles around her mouth and eyes more prominent than ever. He gulps in nervousness. She’ll be alright, won’t she?

“Eomma, how are you feeling right now?” he hears his father ask, voice taut. Even though his expression betrays nothing, Taehyung knows he’s equally anxious, if not more. His grandmother has a great relationship with everyone in the family. A stable pillar no matter what came her way. 

Kim Eunjoon stares at all the family members gathered in the room for her and gives them an encouraging smile. “I feel great, everyone. The doctors have taken very good care of me and I’m very happy that the entire Kim family has gathered here for me after years.” If she senses the tension rising by her comment she doesn’t show it, turning to the doctor instead. “I won’t take much of your time, Kang-ssi. Please let us know of my results without much haste,” she requests, never the one to drag things out unnecessarily. 

The doctor takes a breath and opens his file, prompting Taehyung to clutch his grandmother’s frail hand tightly. When did she lose so much weight?

It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be–

“I’m afraid it’s bad news, Mrs. Kim. After checking your symptoms we ran through certain tests to confirm what we suspected. You’re diagnosed with Myeloma, a type of blood cancer of plasma cells…”

Taehyung stops listening after that, a constant loud ringing in his ear replacing the doctor’s explanation. His jaw feels loose as his lips part, body unclenching as the tension slowly dissipates into something else. It’s a lengthy one he supposes; Dr. Kang’s lips move a lot and he uses many terms that go right over Taehyung’s head. He manages to catch the important tidbits, however, and they make his blood run cold and his heart dangerously slows down.

Blood cancer. Stage 4. Technically incurable. Life expectancy is usually 5 years, but due to his grandmother’s age reduced to just 8-10 months.

Dr. Kang is still speaking when the gentle squeeze of his grandma’s hands brings him out of his daze. “Normally, we would suggest a bone marrow transplant but since Mrs. Kim is older and has a higher risk of complications during surgery, I wouldn’t recommend it. We could start chemotherapy as soon as you’d like, but of course it comes with a wide range of side effects and there is no guarantee of survival.”

So basically what he’s saying is, my grandmother is going to die. Soon. And there’s nothing I can do about it.

There’s a constant ringing in Taehyung’s ear as he tries to make out the side effects of chemotherapy. He’s seen the patients and what it does to them, of course. How could he ever see his grandma go through that? How could he bear with the knowledge that his grandmother, someone he loves more than anyone in his life, will soon get thinner and weaker and eventually leave him?

A sharp pain starts spreading across his chest as his father and grandmother thank the doctor, letting him know they’ll think about the chemotherapy before he leaves.

Eunjoon takes a look at all the family member’s reactions. Taehyung’s father looks melancholic, his mother has a few tears running down her face, his brother is breathing a little too fast and Minji’s face is red. 

Taehyung can’t even imagine how he must look at the moment, eyes blurry with tears begging to be shed and his free hand shaking on the other side. 

His grandmother is the only one who doesn’t look much affected by the news, which is pretty fucking iconic if you ask him. She clicks her tongue and gives their conjoined hands another squeeze. “So, who's up for some beer and fried chicken? My treat!”

It’s her jovial yet slightly wavering voice, along with the fact that she’ll always be the strongest and most optimistic member of their broken family is what finally breaks Taehyung down.

He lets out a sob, tries to curb the others on the way but they don’t listen and soon he’s a whole crying mess, tears running down his cheeks as he buries his face in his grandmother’s neck. He smells the expensive perfume she’s worn for years mixed in with their laundry detergent and he just can’t take it. He can’t let his grandmother go, can’t live without her comforting hugs and scent and words and gestures. Even now, when it should be the other way around, his grandmother runs his hands up and down Taehyung’s back, trying to shush the ugly cries that won’t stop coming out of him.

“Oh, my baby bear. It’s going to be alright, darling,” she soothes and it just makes him cry harder, how twisted the situation is and how much of a burden he’ll always be to his grandmother.

“Eomma,” he hears his mother speak, clearing her tear-clogged throat. “You don’t have to be strong at a time like this. You can take all the time you need to deal with the news,” she tries to reason.

Eunjoon sighs. “I truly feel alright, Yeri. I’m not pretending to put on a brave face for your sake. Of course, I’m a bit shaken by the news as well, but it’s not like it’s unimaginable, is it? I’m currently eighty-four. My body will naturally deteriorate, it had to happen sometime or the other.”

“No,” Taehyung sobs out, shaking his head planted in her neck. He truly feels like a stubborn child at the moment, but it’s not like he cares. All he selfishly wants is for his grandmother to encase him in her arms and tell him everything is going to be okay, just as she used to when he got hurt as a kid.

His grandmother gently pulls back, lifting his face to meet her intense gaze. “Now, Taehyung. This is not the time to cry and mope around, you hear me? The doctor said I have around 10 months to live and I refuse to spend them around such a crybaby, okay?” Playfully, she pinches his wet cheek, trying to cheer him with her usual grin. “I need my happy, smiling Taehyungie back.”

Immediately Taehyung’s lips lift upwards into a watery smile. Eunjoon is right. She has such a limited amount of time left, surely sobbing in front of her won’t do either of them good. He can always cry himself to sleep later that night. For now, he needs to stay strong for his grandmother just as she’s staying for him so that her final moments can be as best as they can.

“Besides, it’s not like I haven’t lived a good life, you know?” she tells him as he wipes his tears. “I was raised by loving parents, married your grandfather who never failed to make me happy,” she turns toward her son and his wife, “and gave me such a wonderful son who never failed to take care of me and be successful.” She smiles at the two. “I raised your father well enough for him to find such a lovely wife for himself and because of that I was blessed with the most incredible grandchildren I could ask for,” she finishes, giving Taeho a smile before turning to him. 

The tears threaten to spill again, but he wills himself to hold them back. 

“I could never ask for anything more in life if I’m being honest. I do not feel like I have any regrets or unfinished wishes,” she speaks but then pauses. “Well, except one, but that’s not happening anytime soon.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen and all his senses stand alert as he sits straight. “Halmeoni, what is it? I will make sure to move continents to fulfil it.” Anything. He’ll do anything to make her happy. Fly them to the moon if she asks.

Eunjoon laughs, shaking her head. “It’s simple, really.” She smiles warmly at Taeho and Minji who are looking at her just as expectantly. “Just as Taeho has found a very lovely wife for him, I wanted you to have someone as well, Taehyung-ah.” Taehyung’s brain short-circuits. “Someone who you’re engaged to, someone who loves you more than anyone and who will do anything to see a smile bloom on your face.”

What? Someone who loves him more than anyone? Someone he’s engaged to? 

Yeah, there’s no way that’s happening. Taehyung has always had terrible luck with relationships and none of them have lasted more than six months. Forget someone putting a ring on him, he’s pretty sure his past boyfriends never even said I love you to him.

His grandma seems to know that as well because she simply grins and ruffles his hair. “But our Taehyung has yet to find his prince charming, no?” 

Taehyung knows the word prince has caused a shift in the atmosphere of the room. In between the horrid news he’d forgotten how the rest of his family wasn’t so happy with his love life per-se. Or more so which gender he harbours romantic feelings for.

But he doesn’t have much interest in pondering over that. Instead, his heart gets heavy and his chest tightens as he realises he’s the only reason his grandmother’s final wish will be left unfulfilled. And it’s all because he gets bored easily and his taste in men is equivalent to trash on a hot summer day. 

Fuck this. He’s not going to let his halmeoni think for even a second that there’s something in life she still yearns for. 

The lie spills out of his mouth even before he can think about it. “But halmeoni, I’m already engaged.”

The whole room falls silent as their focus zeros on Taehyung. He sees his grandmother’s smile drop and her expression turns into one of shock. “Huh? Did you just say you’re engaged?”

Taehyung gulps, the weight of his words now crashing in on him. Did he just lie to his dying grandmother? What kind of terrible person is he? 

He still has time to rectify it. He can just laugh it off and say it was a joke to lighten the mood. But the hopeful expression slowly growing on Eunjoon’s face makes him swallow those words back. “That’s right, I’m engaged!” he grins, hoping that none of his family knows how fake it is.

“Taehyung– what?” his mother gasps out, taking a seat on the bed next to the two. It’s a tight fit but no one seems to care. “How– when–” she stammers out, seemingly stunned. 

If he’s managed to shock his usually very eloquent mother to this extent, he’s made a bigger blunder than he can ever imagine. Taeho comes to her rescue. “We didn’t hear anything. Not from you or the news outlets,” he says, his expression equally bewildered.

Taehyung flits his eyes between the two, brain working a mile a minute. “Well, that’s because my boyfri– my fiance and I decided to keep it under wraps as much as possible to protect ourselves. It just happened so fast,” he tries to reason but he knows his family feels a little betrayed. Even if they weren’t on great terms, he met his mother every few months and kept in contact with Taeho. He can’t even imagine how his grandmother, whom he speaks to every week, is feeling right now. Maybe lying about being directly engaged was a terrible idea and he should’ve just said he was seeing someone. At least that would’ve been easier to lie about and it required less mental gymnastics for him. 

“So what? You were going to tell us after you got married to someone we’ve never met?” His father says, tone definitely bordering on anger. 

“It’s not like you would’ve been overly supportive of my relationship anyways, appa,” he snaps, effectively silencing him and the rest of the room. His father’s jaw ticks but he holds his ground. He’s not a scared kid anymore, he doesn’t owe anything to him.

The tension in the room suddenly worsens but his grandmother breaks it as per usual. “It doesn’t matter, Seojun. All that matters is that my baby is happy.” She gives him a bright smile, effectively worsening the burden on his chest. “You are happy, right baby bear?”

The heaviness almost crushes his heart when he nods, smiling at her. “Of course, halmeoni. He makes me the happiest guy in the world.”

“Well, then. Who is it? Who makes my Taehyungie so happy?” his mother asks, gently patting his shoulder.

Oh, fuck. Taehyung definitely didn’t think this far while blurting out his horrible lies. Of course he’ll have to tell them who it is! Did he think he would get away with just letting his family know of his engagement?

“Well–” he starts, racking his brain for a name. He’s truly screwed now, having no idea who to involve in this mess. He could’ve said Seokjin or Yoongi hyung’s name, but his family knows how brotherly their bond is and that Yoongi is already dating someone else. 

Suddenly he feels exhausted to the core. He hasn’t slept a wink last night, his body has been filled with tension ever since he received his brother’s call, dealing with the news about his grandmother’s myeloma and the numerous articles ranking on top Naver at the moment playing at the back of his mind. He, as always, has dug himself a hole so big that he’ll need a miracle to come rescue him from his foolishness. 

All he wants to do right now is go to his apartment and cry himself to sleep. To forget about his grandmother slowly leaving him and those articles damaging his reputation and the man who causes it each time. He’s just so tired .

“Jeon Jeongguk,” he blurts out the name that’s constantly echoing in his head, haunting him every chance it gets.

“Jeon Jeongguk?” his grandmother repeats, trying to place the name. “Is he your fiance?”

Taehyung almost throws up at the question and gasps when the consequences of his actions set in. 

He just told his family he’s engaged. Engaged to Jeon Jeongguk , someone he can’t stand in the same vicinity for more than two minutes. 

Yeah, this can’t get any worse, can it?

“Mhmm,” he hums with a fake smile plastered on his face, unable to actually confirm it using words. 

His grandmother claps her hands in delight. “Well, then. We need to meet this gentleman immediately! Call him for dinner this weekend. The whole family has to meet him.”

Oh this just got a lot fucking worse.

“Eomma, I think you should rest now–” he hears his father start but is silenced with a single deadly stare from his grandmother.

“How can I rest when our darling Taehyungie is engaged?” she smiles wide, kissing his forehead. “Congratulations, my darling. You have no idea how happy I am at the moment.”

Taehyung feels like vanishing from the face of the earth. In his twenty-three years of life, he has never done anything more despicable than this. He needs to come clean as soon as he can be honest about the lie he made up in the heat of the moment. Blame it on the shock of the news or something.

But he cannot crush his grandmother’s dreams just like that, especially not now when she heard such life-changing news. Her smile got so wide and happy. Besides, this is all she wants from Taehyung. How can he take that away from her?

After the dinner , he makes a promise to himself as he accepts the hugs and congratulations his family showers him with. If he somehow manages to convince Jeongguk to attend this one dinner while pretending to be his fiance, he’ll tell his grandmother the truth or at least a good reason as to why they both had to call off the engagement.

It’s just one stupid dinner, anyway. What could go wrong?  

♬♬♬

“Thank you for coming over,” Taehyung tries to say with his mouth stuffed full, the noodle sauce staining the corner of his lips. Seokjin’s makguksu recipe never fails to satiate his hunger and his stomach rumbles in appreciation as he eats his first meal of the day.

“You don’t have to thank us, Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin smiles at his pout. He takes a sip of the wine he, Yoongi and his boyfriend Jimin had brought with them. “How are you holding up?”

Taehyung gulps, eyes stinging once again. “Terrible,” he answers, his voice soft and vulnerable. He isn’t exaggerating. He hasn’t stopped crying since he came back from the hospital the day before and he’s pretty sure it shows in his swollen eyes and dull, exhausted face. He only left his bed to pee and drink water, spending the rest of his time lying under the covers and staring unblinkingly at the ceiling, tears silently streaming down his face. 

A part of him still hasn’t accepted that his grandmother might not be here next year or be able to celebrate his birthdays with him anymore. She won’t spend hours talking to him on the phone and gossiping or won’t hold him when he’s feeling miserable and hopeless. Just as he is now. 

“Oh, Tae,” Jimin whispers before moving closer to him to wrap his arms around his shoulders. Even though they’ve only known each other for a couple of years, Taehyung truly adores Jimin. It’s a miracle that they clicked the second Yoongi introduced his boyfriend to him and Seokjin and now Jimin is basically a part of their group, turning their long-running trio into a quadruplet. “I’m so sorry,” he clutches him tighter. Taehyung truly doesn’t think he possesses a single flaw, except for maybe his choice of friends.

“Thank you Jimin,” he smiles slightly, truly meaning it. “I appreciate you all coming to meet me.”

“How could we not?” Yoongi asks. His voice is monotonous but his eyes swim with concern. He gently grabs Taehyung’s free hand, running a thumb along his knuckles, and that causes him to almost burst into tears. Yoongi barely initiates any kind of physical or affectionate touch, no matter how much Taehyung knows he loves him. “We were worried about you, you weren’t answering our calls.”

Taehyung feels a pang of guilt hit his chest. The moment he came back from the hospital ugly sobs started to escape him and barely managed to remove his shoes and coat before jumping on his bed and crying into his pillow. He could hear his phone continuously ringing in his coat pocket but couldn’t manage to find the will to actually answer it, already knowing what they were going to say on the other line. Pitying apologies and questions of how was feeling could wait until he poured his heart out in his tears. 

Maybe he should’ve at least sent a text in their group chat that he’s alright, just to alleviate his friends’ worries. 

Taehyung sits up a little and wipes the wetness under his eyes. “I’m sorry. I should’ve informed you guys that I’m okay–”

“Hey, you don’t need to apologise for anything, okay?” Seokjin interrupts him, squeezing his shoulder. “We would’ve been concerned about you regardless of your text.” He smiles softly, eyes creasing gently at the sides in a kind expression. 

Taehyung sees the other two nod and smiles, his first genuine one since he heard the dreadful news. Yoongi’s hand in his, Jimin’s arms around him and Seokjin squeezing his shoulder. He’s never been more grateful for his friends.

“I’m cancelling all your schedules until the weekend so you can rest and we three were thinking about doing a sleepover on Saturday night to help you feel better,” Seokjin continues.

Taehyung perks up. A sleepover sounds absolutely perfect after the hell that was this week. But then he remembers. Saturday. The night of the family dinner. 

With his fiance .

“I, uh– I really appreciate the gesture but I’m afraid I’m not free that day, hyung,” he stutters nervously, already expecting his hyung’s reaction when he explains why and not all excited to deal with it. “I have a family dinner.”

Yoongi’s eyebrow raises. “A family dinner? As in, dinner with your entire family? Your father included?” he asks, a certain edge to his voice. 

The three are familiar with his family situation but Yoongi knows exactly what happened and how broken Taehyung was after leaving home since he crashed at Yoongi’s apartment until he could find one for himself. Yoongi must remember how often he sobbed for his family and how many times he thought of dropping his ego and just returning home. He and Taehyung’s family had a good relationship since they were all from Daegu but after the incident Yoongi became wary of his father, stepping up as Taehyung’s elder brother and taking care of him when he needed it the most. 

“Yes,” Taehyung replies, keeping his bowl aside. 

“Is it because of your grandma’s news?” Seokjin asks cautiously as if the mere mention of it might break him.

Taehyung looks down, fingers tracing the lines on his palm as he thinks of how to answer. He decides to just say it once and for all. “No, it’s to celebrate my engagement.”

There’s pin-drop silence in the room, three gazes fixed on him, until Seokjin speaks. “To celebrate your what ?!”

Taehyung sighs, launching into an explanation about what happened in the hospital room, purposely omitting the name of his fiance . He thinks Seokjin should get some time to absorb each shock one by one or he’ll explode, given how red he’s become upon hearing Taehyung’s stupidity.

“Look,” he says, staring back at the gawking faces. “I know how this sounds and what I have done is beyond unacceptable. But you don’t know how it felt–” his words choke his throat and his eyes throb. He takes a breath before continuing. “How it felt knowing that you are the reason your favourite person in the world has an unfulfilled wish when she might not be here in a few months, seeing even the thought of that wish coming true lighting her entire face up.” A tear drops down his cheeks. “And I feel so , so guilty for lying to her but at that moment I only wanted to keep that hopeful smile on her face.”

Another moment of silence passes and Taehyung thinks how hard his friends must be judging him right now, lying to his dying grandmother like that. They must think he’s an awful person because who would do something like this?

This is different. It might be fake but Taehyung just wants to fulfil her final wish. 

Seokjin breathes out. “It’s just one day, right?”

Taehyung opens his eyes and nods slowly. “Just that one night. And then I’ll come clean to her, tell her the truth or at least part of it. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

Yoongi simply hums in reply but Jimin speaks up. “Didn’t you mention you have to take your fiance to dinner as well?” He picks up his wine glass and traces its rim with his lips. “So, who is going to pretend to be engaged to you?”

Taehyung gulps, lips pursing. If his friends didn’t judge him before, they surely will now.

“Well, you see…after hearing the news, my family asked me my fiance’s name. Unfortunately, I hadn’t thought that far and in the panicked moment, I blurted out the first name that popped into my head.”

Seokjin’s expression turns queasy as if already knowing Taehyung cut out work for him. “And what name might that be, Taehyung?”

Taehyung shuts his eyes before whispering. “Jeon Jeongguk.”

The response to this, unlike earlier, is immediate. The three yell out a loud what?! in unison, making Taehyung jump a little from just how loud their voices get, and Seokjin lets out the deepest sigh known to mankind right after. “You’re joking,” he mutters, voice full of disbelief. “Tell me this isn’t true.”

Taehyung opens his eyes to see his hands tiredly rubbing his face. He turns to Yoongi, whose eyebrow is raised and an expression of intrigue settles on his face. “The first name popping in your head was Jeon Jeongguk, the man you claim to hate?”

Fuck you, Yoongi for catching all these minuscule details , Taehyung curses, fighting the urge to glare at his best friend. “Yes, because Jin hyung called me that morning and said someone leaked intel about him and I fighting at the party, did you not?” he asks his hyung, who nods in confirmation.

“Well, I still think it’s a bit weird–” Yoongi starts but Taehyung interrupts him by turning to his boyfriend. 

“Jiminie, I need your help,” he says, Jimin’s expression conveying he already knows what he’s going to ask of him. He crumples a little, mirroring a wilting flower. 

“Taehyung, I don’t know if Jeongguk would–” he starts, looking hesitant and unsure.

“Please, Chim. I know he won’t listen to me but Jeongguk is your best friend . Maybe if you ask him he might understand.” 

He’d say the right words, convince him somehow, do the things Taehyung can’t do due to their relationship.

Jimin shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Tae. I’ll arrange a meeting for you two but this is a personal matter and you should be the one explaining the situation.”

Taehyung tries his biggest weapon, his puppy eyes, on Jimin but to no avail. He gives up after a minute, nodding. “Thank you. I appreciate you trying to help.” Something is better than nothing, and getting Jeongguk to agree to meet Taehyung might be harder than convincing him to pretend to be his fiance. 

Ugh, even the mere thought of it brings an unpleasant taste to his mouth.

“I’ll try to call him over to my house tomorrow, if that’s alright with you,” Jimin tells him, taking a sip of his wine. “I’ll text you the time he’s coming but I’m not going to guarantee that he’ll say yes.”

Taehyung nods but his insides feel like mush. How the hell is he going to convince his biggest enemy to be in love with him for one night?

♬♬♬

“Tae, stop fidgeting,” Jimin chides as he watches Taehyung play with the buttons on his shirt sleeve. “There’s nothing to be nervous about, Jeongguk is a nice guy.”

Taehyung looks up and gives him a pointed look to which he sighs. “Look, I don’t know what problem you guys have with each other but the Jungkook I know would never deny such a request.”

A bitter laugh almost pours out from him. Sure, Jeon Jeongguk’s best friend might not be but Taehyung is privy to all the ugly parts of him. He’s sure Jeongguk will cackle right in his face, say something snarky and gross in response to his request, and then walk away.

He’s about to retort when they hear the buzzer, signalling Jeongguk’s arrival. Taehyung’s palms start to sweat as Jimin presses the button to let him in and turns around. “He’s here. Remember, just explain the situation to him honestly and I’m sure everything will go smoothly.”

Taehyung doesn’t share the same sentiments, but he keeps his mouth shut as the doorbell rings. 

Jimin goes to open the door and Taehyung sits up straight as he hears the voice from his nightmares greeting him. He wipes his palms on his pants and straightens his t-shirt just so he appears a bit put together when Jeongguk spots him, which he does two seconds after stepping into the living room.

“What’s wrong, hyung? Is everything alright–” he pauses, words stuck in his throat he takes in Taehyung’s form on the sofa. The way his expression manages to darken should be hilarious if not extremely terrifying. “What is he doing here?” he asks, tone filling with disgust. 

Just great. He seems to have caught Jeongguk in a bad mood. Or maybe that’s how his miserable self is all the time. To think of it, he’s never seen Jeongguk smile in front of him.

Jimin licks his lips. “I think you two need to talk,” he says, taking a step back towards his bedroom. “I’m going to give you two some space, please don’t kill each other. Blood is hard to clean,” he says before opening the door and disappearing into his room without another noise.

Jeongguk stares at him confusedly as he leaves. He’s wearing a baggy dark grey shirt and black jeans, hair slightly damp. He turns to Taehyung, the earrings in his ear shining in the pale yellow light of the room and his gaze automatically hardens as it lands on him. It’s an expression he’s very familiar with, often mirrored on his face. “Hey,” Taehyung starts, voice tight and uncertain. He’s about to request a huge favour, the least he can do is try to be cordial.

“What the fuck do you want?” Jeongguk asks as he takes a seat on the opposite end of the sofa, a comical distance between them.

Anger flares in Taehyung but he pushes it down. Come on, Taehyung. Do it for your grandma.

“I need to talk to you about something important,” he starts, trying to keep his voice even.

Jeongguk’s eyebrow raises and Taehyung’s gaze automatically jumps to the newly added piercing. He was sure Jeongguk didn’t have it two days ago at the party and he wonders when he got it pierced. From the slightly red skin around his eyebrow, he figures it’s very recent. He blinks, trying to focus back on the man. “Are you about to tell me you're in love with me?”

The question was the last thing Taehyung expected and it shows with the way he sputters while answering. “What– the fuck are you talking about? Of course I’m not in love with you,” he says, trying not to shudder. “How do you even–” he stops himself from arguing with the other, which is probably what he’s waiting for. Due to the sudden nonsensical question, Taehyung is thrown off track from his previously prepared speech and simply blurts out, “I wanted to ask you to be my fiance.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen so big Taehyung is afraid they’ll roll out of their sockets. “ What?! ”

Whoops. Should’ve worded that differently.

Taehyung sighs. “Sorry, I meant to add the word pretend. I need you to pretend to be my fiance for one dinner with my family.” He doesn’t think that’s too far-fetched. One dinner and then it’ll all be done. 

Jeongguk is silent for a long moment, eyes still wide open and unmoving from his face. Taehyung thinks he probably broke him beyond repair. Something he would normally celebrate but unfortunately he needs Jeongguk fully functional for Saturday.

He scoffs after what feels like years. “Is this a joke?” he asks, voice cold. He takes a look around him. “Is this some sort of prank? Are there cameras installed in here somewhere?”

Taehyung wants to be understanding, he really does. He can’t imagine how he would react if the situations were reversed so he tries to be patient with Jeongguk’s disbelief. But it’s so hard to when Jeongguk stares back at him with that typical condescending look of his, tone disdainful. As if Taehyung isn’t even worth a morsel of his time. “It’s not, so if you could just let me explain–”

“I have better things to do than to listen to you, frankly,” he says, standing up and turning to leave. Taehyung resists the urge to yell at him, knows he can’t, and the pressing reality that his carefully thought out plan isn’t going to work starts a prickle in his nose.  “I don’t know what’s going on or why you want me to be your pretend boyfriend or whatever but I have zero interest in getting involved with your bullsh–”

“My grandmother is dying,” Taehyung says softly, voice choking up. The words make Jeongguk pause his outburst and stop him mid-step towards the door. He turns after a moment and stares at him, eyes softer than before. 

Or maybe Taehyung is just imagining things in his desperation. His slightly blurry eyes aren’t helping.

“My grandmother is dying and her final wish is to see me happily engaged to someone.” Jeongguk doesn’t reply, choosing to stand and stare at Taehyung instead. It’s not a refusal to hear him out, so Taehyung starts explaining before he changes his mind. “I lied and said I already am engaged to make her happy and accidentally blurted out your name as my fiance.” The younger still doesn’t speak, head slightly tilted in confusion. Taehyung knows it’s now or never. “I know you have no reason to help me but I–” he swallows before speaking, “I need you– your help, that is. It’s just one night and then you never have to see me or talk to me ever again.”

This definitely piques Jeongguk’s interest just like he thought it would. His eyebrow raises again and his face looks like he’s deep in thought, conflict in his eyes. 

He needs an incentive, something to cement Jeongguk into this plan. Taehyung can’t just force him to come to a family dinner and then tell him to fuck off. 

“No more arguments in public, no more subtweets or jabs in interviews. I’ll try my best to stay away from you and I hope you do the same.” Taehyung gulps. This is it. This is all he can offer and now the ball is in Jeongguk’s court. He plays with the hoop in his ear as he sees Jeongguk think about it, bottom lip trapped between his teeth. 

“Fine,” he finally replies, so quietly that Taehyung thought he imagined it. 

“What?” Taehyung asks just to be sure.

“Fine, I’ll do it. For your grandmother,” Jeongguk confirms, letting out a breath.

“You–you mean it? You’ll do it?” Taehyung blinks, heart thudding a little faster.

Jeongguk looks away. “Don’t make me say it again or I’ll change my mind.”

Taehyung doesn’t know if he’s serious but he doesn’t want to challenge it. A small part of him is grateful that Jeongguk is not, contrary to his accusations, made of stone and has enough of a heart to do it for his dying grandmother at the least. 

“Right,” he says simply, not knowing exactly what to do or say now. Frankly, he didn’t think he would get this far.

Jeongguk seems to share the same sentiments and now stands awkwardly near the other end of the sofa, switching his body weight from one leg to the other. “So…when is it?” he asks, averting his gaze from Taehyung and choosing to stare at the framed picture of Yoongi and Jimin instead.

“It’s on Saturday at 8 p.m. Hopefully you’re free.”

“I am.”

“Great. See you Saturday, then. Jimin will text you the address of my family home,” Taehyung informs him, trying to rid himself of the formality in his tone. 

He doesn’t know what’ll be worse, he and Jeongguk fighting in front of his family or behaving like two awkward strangers. They have to brush up on their acting skills before the day after tomorrow somehow in order to sell their story properly.

“Don’t you think your family will find it suspicious that we arrived at dinner separately?” Jeongguk asks and Taehyung hates how right he is. Why didn’t he think of this before? 

“Yes,” Taehyung admits through gritted teeth, hating the way a smug smile slowly spreads on the other’s face. 

“Seems like you haven’t thought this through very well,” Jeongguk says nonchalantly and Taehyung thinks it’s not too late to drop-kick him and just confess the truth to his grandmother. Anything is better than spending time with this bastard–

“I’ll pick you up at 7.”

Oh . Well, Taehyung didn’t expect that. He expected Jeongguk to just pick him up at some point in the journey from his apartment to Taehyung’s house. This seems very…gentlemanly of him.

“Why an hour earlier?” he asks, trying to rid his mind of the word.

Jeongguk stares at him as if the answer should be obvious. “We need to get our stories straight. How we met, when we started dating, et cetera.” Fuck, Taehyung is really bad at this. Jeongguk takes a step towards him. “You don’t seem to be taking this seriously,” he says, his voice suddenly octaves lower, grazing his eyes over Taehyung’s front with flecks of disgust and something else he can’t decipher in his eyes. “Are you sure this isn’t some ploy to fulfil some freaky fantasy of yours?”

What the fuck.

Taehyung takes a step back in disgust. “I don’t have fantasies involving you in any way, shape or form, Jeon.” His lips tilt upwards into a smirk, loving the way the other’s expression crumbles. “You, however, seemed too familiar with all of this.” He tilts his head, voice taunting. “Thinking about taking me out on a date often?”

Jeongguk narrows his eyes. “I wouldn’t think about dating you even if you were the last man on earth, Kim .”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “If we were the last two men on earth, I’d cook and eat you instead.”

It’s childish and petty, exactly like every other argument of theirs. 

Jeongguk scoffs. “You would straight up resort to cannibalism?”

Taehyung shrugs. “Anything is better than dating you.”

The racer shakes his head. “I’ll make sure to eat poison before I die so when you do eat me, you’ll get poisoned as well.”

Taehyung is about to send a jab back when the door to the bedroom opens and Jimin walks out, looking exasperated. “Aren’t you guys tired of this nonsensical bickering?” His hands are on his hips, dripping with disappointment.

Taehyung frowns. “He’s the one who started it!” 

Jeongguk rolls his eyes and sighs. “Are you seriously shifting the blame right now? What’s next, you’re going to stomp your foot and throw a tantrum?”

“Oh I’m definitely stomping my foot on your face next–”

“Enough!” Jimin interrupts them, sounding like a tired parent who is thinking of putting his kids up for adoption. He sighs irritatedly. “Did you guys decide on where and when to meet?”

They both nod, sulky expressions on their faces from being scolded.

“Great,” Jimin sighs, taking out an iced coffee from his fridge. “Now both of you, I’m sure you lead hectic lives. Go find someone else to annoy,” he shoos them away, tone light-hearted.

Jeongguk sticks out his tongue at him before turning to Taehyung. “Saturday, 7 p.m.” He turns to Jimin again. “Hyung, text me his address,” he instructs, leaving before waiting for them to reply. The door slams behind him and there’s a brief moment of silence where Taehyung feels like he’s been left out in the sun for too long. 

Then he sighs, rubbing his face. “Seriously? This is your number one choice for a best friend?” he asks Jimin before slumping back on the sofa. 

Jimin laughs. “He’s not bad, once you get to know him.”

Taehyung shudders. As if it’s any bit reassuring. “Hard pass on that. I hope after Saturday I completely forget Jeon Jeongguk’s entire existence.”

Jimin gives him a smile that’s hard to decipher. “We’ll see about that, Taehyungie.”

♬♬♬

Taehyung is in the middle of buttoning his shirt when the doorbell rings. He groans out loud as he checks the time; it’s exactly seven p.m. and he guesses it’s Jeongguk behind that door. He stares at his messy room in despair, clothes strewn around and pouring out of his closet as if a natural disaster had occurred just inside his bedroom. 

He hears the doorbell once again and shakes his head as he makes his way to his door. “Would it kill you to show some patience–”

Oh.

A put-together Jeongguk in a black three-piece suit with thin white stripes stares back at him on the other side, hands crossed and one foot tapping the floor. His hair is shiny and neatly parted in the centre, his piercings glinting as he tilts his head, assessing Taehyung’s form. 

“Is the dress code for tonight be as inappropriate as possible or are you just terrible at managing your time?” he asks, confusing Taehyung for a second before he realises his shirt and pants are fully unbuttoned, his chest and the waistband of his boxers clearly visible.

His face flushes and he turns around, hastily buttoning up. “Shut up, you’re way too early.” God, he can’t believe Jeongguk just saw him like this. It’s his worst nightmare.  

Jeongguk clicks his tongue, shutting the door behind him and inviting himself in. “I already told you I’ll be here at 7. It’s not my fault you have zero planning skills.”

“I have a life, which you don’t seem to have,” Taehyung retorts, tucking in his shirt. “I was with my label discussing my next single.”

He turns to see Jeongguk taking a look around his apartment and suddenly feels conscious. In comparison to his bedroom, the rest of his house was thankfully clean. He’s sure Jeongguk lives in a much bigger apartment, probably in a fancier area, something he can’t afford yet because his career hasn’t taken off. His grandmother had offered to buy him an apartment when he moved out but he wanted to stand on his own two feet for once and do something without his family’s wealth or help. Turns out being independent isn’t easy and the prices for the flats all his friends live in are atrocious, so he had to start with something more lowkey than he’d expected. He normally didn’t care about where he lived and was satisfied with his home but in moments like these, when someone who’s surely from the class Taehyung previously belonged to visits him, the hyperawareness in him flares up. Hopefully, Jeongguk possesses enough class to not throw some cheap comments at his house.

Thankfully, he keeps his remarks to himself and instead takes a seat on the sofa. “How much more time will it take for you to get ready? We should get our stories straight about the history of our relationship before we leave but we shouldn’t be too late either.”

Taehyung almost shudders at the mention of their supposed relationship. And why is Jeongguk being all authoritative, anyway? Who decided he would call all the shots for this evening?

At least he has an idea as to what he’s doing, another voice speaks inside Taehyung. This is your predicament and you’re not even trying to solve it.

“We can talk about it while I get ready,” he proposes, starting to walk towards his room but then remembering the state it is currently in. Jeongguk does not need to see that. “Give me two minutes,” he says, rushing inside and closing the door. 

He grabs every article he can find and dumps it all in his closet, shutting the door and hoping he needs nothing else from that mess. Ridding the room of the rest of the clutter by throwing it into random hiding spots to deal with later, he opens the door a little out of breath. “You can come in now.”

As Jeongguk steps inside, Taehyung realises how bizarre it is that the last man he thought he would see in his room is currently sitting on his bed, waiting for him to get ready. His life truly has been unpredictable lately.

He sits in front of his dresser, watching how awkward Jeongguk looks as he plays with his jacket sleeve. He sighs. Might as well start this uncomfortable conversation and be done with it as quickly as possible.

“So, I was thinking we should get a backstory ready about how we met and got together,” he starts, applying concealer under his dead, tired eyes. 

Jeongguk nods and thinks for a moment. “I say we keep it close to the truth. We met due to mutual friends and you liked me first and asked me out.”

Taehyung pauses dabbing his makeup sponge and scoffs. “That’s not close to the truth. I would never ask you out.” Would rather die than be the first one to make a move. 

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “And thank god for that. But this whole relationship isn’t really supposed to be realistic since it well– it doesn’t exist, I don’t think these minor details should matter.”

Taehyung clicks his tongue. “They matter to me . My family would never believe I would ask anyone out, let alone someone like you .”

The younger just stares at him in disbelief. “Someone like me? And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what that means,” Taehyung shrugs, going back to reapply his concealer.

He sees Jeongguk cross his arms in the mirror. “I actually don’t but whatever. If it really matters so much, I asked you out in our story. But just for the record, even if you did ask me out, I would laugh in your face before rejecting you.”

“Is that how every person you’ve ever asked out has rejected you?” He prods, feigning sympathy by overly pouting and clasping his hands to his chest. Jeongguk seethes. 

“I would have you know I haven’t ever received a single rejection–”

Their bickering is interrupted by Taehyung’s phone ringing, and he sees his mother's name and picture flashing on the screen before he picks it up. 

“Hello sweetheart,” her voice pours through the phone in greeting. “Are you and Jeongguk on your way?” 

“Not yet, Eomma. But we will soon, did you need us to pick something up?”

“Oh no, I just wanted to know if Jeongguk had any special allergies we needed to take care of!”

Oh, shit. Taehyung has no idea about any of Jeongguk’s allergies and it’ll be suspicious if he asks now. A good fiance is supposed to know everything about the person he’s supposed to marry, right?

“He’s allergic to shellfish, actually!” he says, trying to sound like he just didn’t pull this out of his ass. 

Taehyung’s mother hums on the other line. “It’s good that I asked, I think clams were on the menu for tonight. All right then, I’ll see you soon then, bye!” She quickly cuts the call before Taehyung can say a word. He can imagine how busy his mother must be tonight, trying to arrange nothing but the best for her son and the fiance that no one in the family ever expected to have. And given Taehyung’s terrible track record with men, he can’t really blame them.

“What did she say?” Jeongguk asks the minute he sets down his phone, the curiosity clear in his tone. 

“She asked what you were allergic to and I said shellfish,” he answers, rummaging through his jewellery box for something less flashy due to his father’s dislike for accessories or makeup on men. Normally he could give a rats’ ass about what his father thinks but since Jeongguk is going to be with him tonight, he’d rather not cause a scene. He surely doesn’t need to see the ugly side of the otherwise overly loving and harmonious Kims.

“But I love shellfish!” Jeongguk protests, tone almost whiny.

Taehyung groans in response. “You’ll be deathly allergic to them for this one dinner, you hear me? It was an accident, I blurted it out without thinking.” Jeongguk continues to sulk in his spot like a little kid being told no for the first time in their life. 

“You do a lot of that, it seems. If you could just use your brain before opening that big mouth of yours, we wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.”

He has a point, of course. But Taehyung doesn’t like it when Jeongguk has a point. Pisses him off more than anything. 

He’s about to retort when Jeongguk grabs the family picture on his bedside table and peers at it. “Tell me something about your family.”

Taehyung doesn’t answer as he fastens on the single pearl earring in his right ear. His family. Where should he start? Should he talk about the beautiful memories he made throughout his childhood and adolescence, playing football with his brother in the enormous yard, or falling asleep to his grandmother’s stories, or sitting on his father’s lap as he heard him talk about his day in the huge company that he was one day supposed to inherit? Or should he talk about the heart-wrenching pain he felt the day he threw his bags in the taxi, the anger in his veins flowing just like the tears down his mother’s cheeks? The pain that feels to this day as he stares at the framed photo every night before he sleeps?

He grabs the suit jacket matching his pants and stares at himself in the mirror as he drapes it on. Off-white suit and a white slightly sheer shirt underneath. Prim and proper. A true Kim.

His neck feels too bare so grabs a white scarf to match and sits on his bed, keeping ample space from Jeongguk, who stares at him, puzzled over his silence. Jeongguk watches Taehyung grab the picture that was taken at his brother’s wedding from him, gazing at it for a few seconds before raising his head and pointing to his father. 

“This is my father, Kim Soohyun. He founded and is the CEO of Kim Electronics and the K-Plaza Shopping Centre in Gangnam. He’ll be the only one not too happy with our relationship.” He doesn’t want to speak about his family members in detail. The less Jeongguk knows about them, the better. The racer looks up at him at the last comment but doesn’t say anything, thankfully. 

“This is my mother, Bae Yeri. She’s one of the most sought out lawyers in Korea so we need to be extra careful around her. It’s not like she suspects anything fishy is going on but one slip up and she might know something is amiss.”

“Be careful of the mother, the father probably already hates you. Got it, who’s next?” Jeongguk comments and Taehyung has to curb the smile spreading on his face. 

He tells them a few tidbits about the rest of his family until it’s time to leave. Stuff that’ll fare well in simple conversation so things aren’t too robotic between them. This has to be as natural and close to reality as possible. While Jeongguk gathers his things and straightens his suit, Taehyung tries to tie the scarf around his neck in an intricate knot. 

His fingers are slightly sweaty and shaky from nerves so they fumble and twist around the silk until Taehyung huffs in annoyance. 

Jeongguk, who grows even more frustrated with Taehyung’s struggles, swats his hands away from the crumpled cloth. “Give me that, I’ll do it,” he groans exasperatedly. 

Taehyung, whose face feels a little hot at the moment, tries to distract himself from the feeling of Jeongguk’s fingers brushing against the sensitive skin of his neck. The smell of his cologne is, annoyingly enough, really nice and soft. He’s got rings all over his fingers and one of his hands has tattoos lining them. 

Averting his attention back, Taehyung taunts him.  “Do you even know how to do it?”

Jeongguk clicks his tongue and meets his gaze. “What, you think you’re the only one who knows how to dress well?”

Taehyung doesn’t know if it’s a jab back at him or an indirect compliment and the way Jeongguk stares at him intensely and his knuckles graze his neck is knotting his stomach unpleasantly. As if he’s some touch-starved, basement-dwelling, incel experiencing simple human contact for the first time. It’s pathetic. 

 “All done,” he whispers, the pads of his fingers touching his Adam's apple as he moves away from him. Taehyung swallows heavily. The touch is weirdly electric. 

He immediately springs up from the bed, wanting to maintain as much distance as possible between the two. “Let’s go, shall we?” He should go and get some fresh air. The stuffiness in his room is causing some strange reactions. 

“Wait,” Jeongguk says before rummaging in his pocket and producing a red velvet box. He stands in front of Taehyung and opens it. 

Taehyung almost lets out a gasp at the beautiful engagement ring in front of him. He flicks his gaze to Jeongguk, who stares back at him expectantly. “What?” he asks, a little confused as to why there’s a real , expensive, gorgeous ring right in front of him. “You do know this is a fake relationship, right?” he teases, a smug grin making its way on his face.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Well, it’s supposed to be very much real for your family. And any engaged person wouldn’t be one without a ring, would he?” He takes out the ring from the box. A huge, beautifully cut diamond rests atop a simple, yet elegant silver band. Exactly Taehyung’s style. “It was my mother’s and she gave it to me so I could propose to my fiance with it.” Taehyung stares at the ring in awe. Whoever gets to wear it must be one lucky person. Aside from dealing with the person whose fingers are attached to it for the rest of their lives.

His throat goes dry, heart pounding. Why is the air between them so weird?

Jeongguk scratches his nape with his other hand, ears tinted pink. “I tried wearing it but my fingers are too thick. We can try it on yours and hopefully, it’ll fit.”

And before Taehyung can form a reply, Jeongguk takes his left hand and gently slips in the jewellery on his ring finger.

Taehyung’s words stick in his throat as he stares at the beautiful band circling his finger, fitting perfectly as if made specially for him. It looks foreign yet stunning on his finger, complementing his honey-like skin wonderfully. 

They both stare at the ring in silence for a few moments before Jeongguk subtly clears his throat, breaking Taehyung out of his daze. “We’re going to be late if we don’t leave now.”

Taehyung blinks twice. “Lead the way, captain,” he replies sarcastically before switching off the lights in his room. 

As he locks the door to his apartment he can’t help but repeatedly glance at the ring. The weight of it feels different on his finger and every time Taehyung uses his left hand the diamond flashes at him. It’s just for a few hours, he has to remind himself as the two wait for the lift. Just a few more hours and you’ll never see this ring ever again, and with it, Jeon Jeongguk.

♬♬♬

Jeongguk halts his car in front of the huge familiar gate with a giant K embossed in gold in its centre. Taehyung gulps as he stares at it, the memories pouring back in like a high tide wave. His breathing feels laboured and a huge weight has settled on his chest as if the guilt inside him is telling him to run away, to remind him that he isn’t welcome here anymore.

It’s been 4 years since these same gates closed the path to his home forever.

Jeongguk looks at him after pressing the intercom in what looks like slight concern. “Are you okay?”

Taehyung nods, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m alright. Just a little nervous that we won’t be able to pull it off and I’ll let my grandmother down.”

“We’ll do well and make sure your grandmother won’t suspect a thing,” he says and even though his tone isn’t particularly reassuring, Taehyung feels a little at ease. 

The gate opens and they drive on the long gravel path leading towards the huge mansion, the white and gold highlighted by the yellow lights at the base of the tall marble pillars. 

“Holy fuck,” Jeongguk breathes out as he stops the car right in front of the steps leading to the main door. “For a moment, I forgot you belonged to the richest family in Korea.”

Taehyung’s lips quirk up at his astonishment and the way his eyes widen, turning all doe-like. He also sometimes forgets his family is incredibly wealthy, belonging to the top 0.1% of the South Korean population. Living in an apartment on the outskirts of Gangnam that is smaller than his friends’ certainly has humbled him a bit, but he can’t say he doesn’t miss living in a home as luxurious as this.

“Isn’t your family loaded as well?” he asks Jeongguk as he parks his Lamborghini Veneno next to his brother’s and his family’s three cars. He’s aware Jeongguk’s father was one of the most famous F1 racers in the world during his prime and his mother is one of the top surgeons in Korea currently.

“Yeah, but they’re not this rich. This is just insane,” he murmurs as he unlatches his seatbelt and grabs a gift bag from the back. 

They walk towards the off-white main door and Taehyung presses the doorbell. His suit feels too hot in the spring air and sweat has started to bead his forehead.

This is for halmeoni, he reminds himself. You cannot fuck up whatsoever.

His train of thought derails when he feels a hand clasping his. Gasping, he jerks it back and frowns at Jeongguk. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Calm down, princess. Don’t you think couples in love hold their hands whenever they can, especially before meeting one’s family?”

Taehyung makes a face, but he knows Jeongguk is right. “Fine. Only holding hands for the night. Don’t go further than that, my family isn’t too big on public affection either.”

Jeongguk scoffs. “You think holding this disgusting, clammy hand is fun for me?” He still slips his hand inside Taehyung’s, their fingers loosely slotting together.

Taehyung is about to argue back in his hands’ defence when the sound of the door opening interrupts the constant crickets chirping in their garden. His hand involuntarily tightens in Jeongguk’s hold and his heart skips a tiny beat when he feels a squeeze back. 

Their huge front door opens and Taehyung’s mother comes into view, a huge smile decorating her stunning face. He sees her eyes flick to their conjoined hands before she engulfs Taehyung in a tight hug. “Welcome home, baby,” she whispers, Taehyung shutting his eyes as he wraps his arms around her. 

Home . Oh, how he’s missed that word.

She detaches herself from Taehyung for a moment and smiles at the man next to him. “And you must be Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk nods, immediately bowing in greeting. “It’s nice to meet you–” he’s cut off by Yeri’s hug, eyes widening a bit before he hugs her back, a little awkwardly.

“It’s such a pleasure to meet you, Jeongguk,” she says while pulling back. She glances between the two. “Let’s go in, everyone is very excited for tonight.”

Jeongguk glances at him and they share a little nod when his mother turns her back on them, a little gesture of encouragement for the night they’re about to go through.

Taehyung enters the house he left years ago with a little heaviness in his chest, his throat bobbing as he takes in the unchanged white walls with intricate gold designs that encase the entire structure. Jeongguk’s eyes widen as he takes in the grand marble staircase leading to the upper floor, made up of the same colour as the walls next to it and the same stone as the floor underneath them. 

Taehyung bites his lips as Jeongguk’s mouth visibly hangs open and his eyes constantly flick around, taking everything around him in. Taehyung nudges him slightly, hands holding the lapels of his coat. “Let me take this,” he says, his mother giving him a smile as she sees him hang Jeongguk’s coat next to his own.

“Your house– It’s incredible, Yeri-ssi,” he blinks a few times, trying to bring himself back from his daze. 

She pats his cheek. “I’m glad you think so. Please make yourself at home and just call me eomonim.”

Eomonim? Did Jeongguk win over his mother this easily? Or is his mother trying to get their defences down so she’ll catch them in their lie when they least expect it? It’s her most famous move in court after all–

“Taehyung-ah?” he hears her ask, her hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

He nods, blinking twice. He needs to stop being so paranoid or else he might do something stupid and make everyone suspicious of his erratic behaviour. Maybe his mother truly is very happy to have Jeongguk here.

“Yes, of course,” he replies and gives her a reassuring smile. He looks around the long, empty hallways leading to the kitchen and living room. “Where’s the rest of the staff?”

Yeri waves it off. “You know how your halmeoni is, don’t you? She sent them all home since she strictly wanted it to be a family dinner tonight.” She squeezes Jeongguk’s arm. “And now that includes you too, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk gives her a little smile in return, an expression of something similar to guilt flashing on his face for a second. “That’s such an honour, Ye– eomonim,” he still manages to say.

The three walk to their living room and Taehyung hears Jeongguk gasp under his breath as he takes in the living room designed in Beaux Art architecture, the high ceiling painted blue with wisps of white depicting the sky, the furniture a mixture of white, gold and navy blue, the last colour a recent addition. A shiny black piano sits in one corner of the room next to the huge windows now draped with navy blue curtains. The lit-up chandelier bathes the room in a pale yellow light and Taehyung sees various family members scattered across the room, waiting for them. He, of course, rushes to his grandmother first.

“My baby bear!” she exclaims before standing up from her usual chair and giving his cheeks a few good smacks, almost bringing tears to his eyes.

“How are you feeling, halmeoni?” he asks her, trying to keep his voice stable and his vision from blurring.

“Pssh. Of course I’m feeling just fine!” She smiles at Jeongguk standing awkwardly behind them, ears a little pink from how the attention of every member in the room is focused on him. Taehyung almost feels bad. 

“Especially now that I get to meet my Taehyungie’s prince charming!” she gushes, holding his surprised face and giving him a kiss on each cheek. 

“Halmeoni, I’m Jeongguk, nice to meet you,” Jeongguk greets with a smile and is about to bow when she stops him and pulls him in a hug. 

“I’m so happy to meet you, Jeonggukie,” she whispers and Taehyung’s heart clenches when he notices her eyes are slightly wet.

Oh god, what is he doing, lying to his grandmother like this? How can tell her the truth about him and Jeongguk when their supposed relationship brings happy tears to her eyes?

The guilt weighs down his body, crushing his entire being from within. He, unfortunately, doesn’t have time to sit and ponder over his actions, with how he needs to be an Oscar-worthy actor at the moment, but he knows he’s going to think about this night in shame for the rest of his life.

He introduces Jeongguk to his father when his grandmother finally lets go of him, not before showering him in praise about how handsome he looks and how lucky Taehyung is to land himself a man as gentlemanly as him.

Handsome? Gentlemanly? Taehyung has to curb the urge to scoff.

Jeongguk pretends to look a little nervous as he hands him a gift wrapped in beautiful golden paper. “I really hope you like this, Kim-ssi.”

Taehyung’s father doesn’t reply anything other than a hum, opening the wrapping carefully to a bottle of whiskey underneath him. When did Jeongguk even find the time to buy this?

Seojun’s eyebrows raise slightly as he turns over the bottle to read the label. “The GlenDronach Grandeur Batch 11,” he nods at Jeongguk. “A man of good taste, I see.”

Taehyung bites his lip as he watches Jeongguk chuckle. “That goes without saying, given how I’m marrying your son.”

Taehyung’s family laughs around him, even his father giving Jeongguk a small, amused smile. Jeongguk grins at Taqehyung and he has to remind himself to force a smile back. 

How is he so good at this? How can he keep his dislike for Taehyung aside so easily? How has he already won over his family, who’s usually so sceptical and analytic about the rest of his boyfriends?

“I’m Taeho, this is my wife Minji and this is our son Heechan,” he hears his brother introduce himself before shaking Jeongguk’s hand. 

Taehyung blinks himself out of his daze. If Jeongguk is trying to pull this off well then he should be trying much harder, given how this is all his fault and problem in the first place.

Jeongguk smiles and shakes their hands as well, grinning at the tiny boy who is shyly hiding behind his father’s legs. A rush of affection overcomes Taehyung upon seeing him. He’s always been fond of children but seeing his nephew, who looks so much like his father when he was a child, makes him incredibly happy. Maybe he should visit Taeho sometimes.

“Hey there,” he says softly to the boy, crouching down on his level. “Do you know who I am?”

Heechan nods, a small smile blooming on his face. “You’re Tete.”

Taehyung laughs, nodding and holding his arms out to pick him up. “That’s right buddy,” he grins when Heechan comes forward to be picked up, “I’m your samchon Tete.”

He gives his cheek a little kiss once he hoists him up, Heechan’s face lighting up. He looks at Jeongguk and points to him with his tiny finger. “Who?”

Jeongguk giggles, the unexpected sound sending a slight shock down Taehyung’s body, and boops his small nose. “I’m Jeongguk, Taehyung’s fiance.”

It’s obvious that Heechan has no idea what the last word means, because he immediately turns to his mother, looking a little confused. 

His mother smiles. “Just like your eomma and appa love each other a lot, Tete and Jeongguk love each other a lot as well.”

Taehyung doesn’t know if Heechan understood the explanation or not but it was enough to burn his cheeks a little. 

His mother calls out to them. “The dinner is ready and the table is set.”

They all walk to the dining room, Jeongguk’s hand constantly brushing his, until Taehyung decides to hold it. Jeongguk already said it’s what couples do and honestly, he needs a little support while walking since his legs feel like jelly from the anxiety filling in his body. So what if it’s from the person he cannot stand even the slightest?

They all take a seat at the huge 8 seater dining table; Taehyung’s father on the head chair, his mother and grandmother on either side, Taeho and Minji sitting next to their mother, with Heechan in a baby chair next to them and Taehyung and Jeongguk next to his grandmother. The table is laid with expensive china with beautiful designs on them. There’s a small rotating table laid on top which has vessels filled with steaming food on it, smelling heavenly. Taehyung can’t wait to dig in.

The dinner starts well, with a few questions thrown around here and there about how their lives are going while they devour the salads and appetizers. Taehyung almost thinks his family has known enough about their relationship and won’t ask any more questions when his grandmother speaks.

“So, how did you two meet?” she asks while serving some kimchi on Yeri’s plate. 

Taehyung, who has a mouthful of rice at the moment, looks at Jeongguk to help him out. 

Jeongguk smiles at him, which almost gets the food stuck in his throat, before speaking. “Well, I met Taehyung officially for the first time when Jimin and Yoongi introduced us. I’m Jimin’s best friend and he thought it was a great idea for both of their groups to merge. Taehyung and I kept in touch after that day and before I knew it, I had fallen for him. I asked him out a few weeks later and the rest is history.” Taehyung breathes out a sigh of relief. Just as they had practised.

Taeho nods along and Taehyung’s mother and grandmother smile at the story. “You said ‘officially for the first time’,” Minji points out, leaning her chin on her palm. “Had you met him previously as well?”

Taehyung raises his eyebrow. He hadn’t noticed the addition in their made up story and was himself curious as to what Jeongguk was referring to. He did know Jeongguk by name before they had first met but it wasn’t for a good reason, which had ended up causing their first argument. But he had no idea Jeongguk too had known about him before they met, since Taehyung was still preparing for his debut back then.

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung sheepishly before laying down his fork and knife back on the table and sitting straighter. “Taehyung doesn’t know this, but I had seen him for the very first time a few years before we met, when I was 13.” Taehyung sets down his cutlery as well, suddenly very interested to hear this bullshit story Jeongguk was cooking up.

“I was dragged to some charity event for all notable people in the country by my father, for a cause I didn’t really care about. The whole evening was full of boring old people talking about business and politics and whatnot and I was so bored out of my mind, regretting every second I spent there instead of playing GTA back home.” 

Taehyung glances at his family members hanging on to his every word, even his father who had an intriguing expression on his usual stoic face. 

“Until I saw him,” Jeongguk says, bringing Taehyung’s attention back to him. He bites his bottom lip once before continuing. “There was a boy on the table opposite mine. His hair was dyed a light lavender at the time, something I found utterly fascinating. He looked around my age and equally as bored as I was.” He takes a breath. “And I knew, the second I laid eyes on the beautiful boy in front of me, that I was a goner.”

Taehyung’s eyes widened at that. The story sounds a little too well-framed and detailed to be fake and he even remembers having lavender hair around the ages of 14 or 15. But this cannot be true, could it? Jeongguk was basically admitting to having a crush on Taehyung when he was 13, years before they knew each other. How is that even possible? How could he go from that to hating Taehyung’s guts the second they introduced themselves?

Minji lets out a small aww and the rest of the family have smiles on their faces, with the exception of his father, of course. “That’s very sweet, Jeongguk,” his mother says, honey dripping from her voice. “Did you talk to Taehyungie that night?”

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Oh, I couldn’t muster up the courage to talk to someone so handsome at first. But by the time I gave myself a pep talk to approach him, Taehyung had disappeared and I had to leave.” His lips lift up slightly. “The crush disappeared in a few days but the boy with the purple hair never left my mind. When Taehyung debuted, it didn’t even take me one second to recognise him. And the moment I saw him sitting next to Yoongi on the restaurant table, I knew my luck couldn’t get better than this.”

Taehyung wants to laugh. Their actual first meeting could be called anything but lucky. He realises Jeongguk was done with his story and his family was waiting for his reaction, given how he had never heard of this before. 

Jeongguk had been the one taking all the initiative to prove how in love they were until now and now it was his turn. He gives Jeongguk the sweetest smile he can muster while looking at his annoying face and intertwines their fingers together. “I wish you would’ve talked to me that time,” he says, voice sweeter than candy, “We could’ve been happier together for longer.”

Ugh, happier with Jeongguk out of all people? Barf .

Jeongguk gives him a little smile before subtly detaching their hands, which shows how they’re on the same page about these over the top PDA gestures. He doesn’t know how true Jeongguk’s story is but he’s sure even if they were at the same gala that night, Jeongguk had anything but a crush on him. He probably wanted to strangle Taehyung even then. 

The rest of the dinner goes by quickly and before Taehyung knows it he’s eating tiramisu for dessert, his mother’s speciality which brings tears to his eyes after eating the first spoonful. Throughout the dinner his family kept asking Jeongguk questions about himself and his profession, wanting to get to know as much as possible about the man Taehyung is supposed to marry. Jeongguk doesn’t mind giving detailed answers to each question, no matter how personal it is, and it bothers Taehyung. Why is he pretending so hard to like his family? Jeongguk is getting nothing from this in return and he was only supposed to be present as his fiance for one night. But he genuinely seems to have fun during the entire dinner, laughing along to every funny incident being narrated and even telling a few fun stories of his own, adding Taehyung in here and there to make their relationship seem more real. 

Taehyung wishes he could have more fun during the whole dinner. It’s not like he wasn’t having any but the pressure of not slipping up and the tension between him and his father that was evident every time he made an unpleasant face at the mere mention of his relationship with Jeongguk or his music career. Taehyung loved having dinner with his family each night who would come back home in time for dinner no matter how busy they were but now that joy was gone too. 

Nothing will ever be the same, he realises miserably, his eyes stinging with unshed tears as he spoons some more tiramisu. Even if they manage to resolve their differences down the years his grandmother won’t be here to see it. Or won’t meet the man he will marry for real, who truly loves him for who he is.

He’s lost in thought for a while, the conversation a low hum in the background, until Taehyung’s mother asks Jeongguk an unexpected question. “Who proposed between the two of you? And how was it?”

Taehyung and Jeongguk turn to each other immediately, praying that none of his family members see the desperate look in their eyes. They hadn’t ever expected this question and hence never prepared an answer, which was insanely stupid on their part. Taehyung’s brain scrambles for one at top speed, now instantly put on the spot. 

Jeongguk, who seems to be an expert at creating bullshit stories at record speed, comes to their rescue. “It was me who proposed,” he starts, once again grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. 

“That’s a very beautiful ring,” Minji compliments, staring at Taehyung’s hand holding the bowl. 

Jeongguk smiles. “Thank you. It’s my mother’s. She gave it to me when I turned 18 and said that this was the ring my father proposed to her with. I was a little worried that it wouldn't fit Taehyung and I would have to resize it but it slid in without any resistance.” He smiles at Taehyung. “And that’s when I knew he was fated for me.”

Holy shit. Where did Jeongguk get all these cheesy rom-com-like lines from? Taehyung’s heart almost traitorously skipped a beat.

“So for the actual proposal, I took him to Paris,” he starts. 

“That’s Taehyungie’s favourite place!” Taehyung’s grandmother interrupts, stars in her eyes as she stares at Jeongguk, who nods.

“Yes, he’d mentioned it on one of our first dates and I just knew it would be the perfect place for the proposal. Anyways when we were in the city, the entire time the ring was resting in my pocket and I was just waiting for the perfect moment to pop the question. Every time I built up the courage to ask him, it didn’t feel like it was time, you know? I know everyone thinks of the Eiffel Tower as the most romantic place for these things in Paris but honestly? It’s too crowded for such an intimate and personal moment, in my opinion. I would rather prefer the Sacre Coeur, which is an even more beautiful place.”

“I paid the guards there a little extra and took permission to stay after 10 pm, which is the closing time. So there we were all alone, standing against the balcony and looking at the beautiful view of the city below us. And as I looked at Taehyung, bathed by the moonlight and his eyes glittering while he stared at the twinkling city lights, I knew there could never be a perfect moment to propose to him, since every moment spent together was perfect for me.” 

Taehyung gulps, his breath heaving as he listens to the tale, enraptured as the other people in the room. 

“So I did it, right there. Under the moonlight, the lights of the city of love shining in front of us.”

“Oh, sweethearts,” Taehyung’s grandmother speaks after a moment of silence, dabbing the corners of her wet eyes.

“That was beautiful, Jeongguk. Thank you for making our Taehyungie feel so special.” his mother sniffs.

Minji’s eyes are watery as he looks at Taehyung. “How did that proposal make you feel, Tae?”

Taehyung doesn’t know why his vision is blurry or his throat feels clogged with emotion over an untrue story of someone proposing to him. He’s only heard of these kinds of proposals in fairy tales or exaggerated romance movies that make you believe that perhaps true love is really possible for a few moments. He doesn’t know how Jeongguk came up with such a beautiful proposal in mere seconds but he knows he would do anything to be on the receiving end of one so magical.

He clears his throat before he replies, feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. “I–uh, I felt like the luckiest man in the world, to be the one receiving so much love. I felt incredibly lucky that I was about to marry a man who was so thoughtful, kind, caring and who loved me so much,” he chokes up a little on the last part when Jeongguk’s gaze meets his, emotion surprisingly swimming through them. “I felt like I didn’t deserve that kind of love.”

The last part felt too real, too honest coming from his mouth and he blinks away his blurry vision. What is he doing, getting swept away by some phoney words and pretend gestures? He thinks it’s time for them to go home and end this act once and for all.

Taehyung’s about to voice out their departure when Jeongguk takes his hand in his, giving it a light squeeze. “You do,” he whispers, and it feels so true for a moment that Taehyung forgets of their long history and their petty bickering and the two only stare at each other as if frozen in time. The only things he can feel or see are the intensity in Jeongguk’s eyes and the feeling of his thumb caressing his hand.

“He’s right baby bear, you do deserve it and don’t ever think otherwise, okay?” his grandmother reassures him, putting her hand on his shoulder and breaking their moment. Taehyung pulls back his hand quickly, as if burnt.

What the fuck just happened?

♬♬♬

“Thank you for joining us tonight, Jeongguk,” his grandmother says as Taehyung and Jeongguk put on their coats. She gives him a hug when he’s dressed. “Please join us for dinner again very soon.”

The hope in her voice sends an arrow of guilt piercing through Taehyung’s heart as he sees Jeongguk smile at her with equal guilt subtly scattered across his face. “Of course, Halmeoni. I’ll try to be back as soon as possible, alright?”

He watches him bid goodbye to each of his family members, even managing to kiss a very sleepy Heechan’s cheek. He looks a little sad, as if he’s truly sorry he’ll never see any of them ever again.

How much of tonight was pretending, Jeongguk? Are you really that good at acting?

“The car is here,” he hears his father say as he walks down the staircase donning a coat, ready to go.

Since all of them had a drink or two earlier, Taehyung’s mother had decided it was too dangerous for them to be driving back home and had called their driver to drop them both off at their apartments. Surprisingly, Taehyung’s father had decided to accompany the two as well. Taehyung knows his father very well and he knows that he never does anything without a legitimate reason, so he just has to find out what before either of the two fuck up.

Taehyung too quickly says his goodbyes to his family. He hugs his mother tight, who whispers, “Come home sometimes, baby. We miss you here,” before detaching, almost leaving him a sobbing mess right then and there. 

Luckily, Jeongguk is there to distract him as he once again holds his hand, even though Taehyung thinks he can stop with the charades for now. They’ve done enough pretending to last their whole lifetimes and besides, he thinks his entire family has bought their act.

Still, he doesn’t pull his hand back as they sit in one of their family cars, Taehyung’s father in the front seat and Jeongguk and Taehyung in the back. They let go of their hands as soon as they’re seated but Taehyung thinks he can still feel the warmth of Jeongguk’s touch lingering. 

Maybe he should’ve declined the third wine serving. 

The driver starts the car and they set off, the mood in the car hilariously uncomfortable. Taehyung’s father doesn’t speak a word in the beginning but his eyes keep flicking to the rear-view mirror, as if he might catch the two shamelessly making out in the backseat or something. 

Well, you don’t have to worry about that at all father, Taehyung thinks as he stares out of the window, the trees around them lessening as they get closer to the city. After tonight, I’m never seeing my beloved fiance ever again.

“So Jeongguk, you’re 21 years old, am I correct?” his father suddenly speaks, breaking the twenty minute silence that settled between them. 

Here we go.

He thinks Jeongguk might have actually dozed off for a bit, with how dazed he looks while answering. “Yes, Kim–ssi.”

Seojun hums. “Don’t you think that’s a little too young to be engaged, given how Taehyung is just 23 as well?”

Jeongguk blinks a few times at Taehyung, trying to decipher how to answer this question. Taehyung knows they’re both thinking the same thing: is this a test? Is his father still not convinced of their relationship?

Jeongguk is truly caught off guard this time, with how he stutters in the beginning of his answer. “Well– yes, I’d think so. I don’t think any of my friends would want to get engaged at our age, even if they’ve been with their partners for a long time.”

“So what made you want to ask for our Taehyung’s hand in marriage, then?” his father asks, his sharp eyes staring at them through the mirror. “Because you see, Taehyung was single for a long time as far as we knew and one day, right when his dear grandmother wished she see him engaged before her passing, he suddenly reveals he is, in fact, engaged to a man who we’ve never heard about before.”

Oh, fuck . He definitely doesn’t buy their bullshit love story, at least not completely. Taehyung can’t blame him. He too would find everything too convenient and suspicious if he were in his father’s place. He’s pretty sure the rest of his family must’ve also had the same thought to varying degrees but didn’t want to ruin his grandmother’s happiness by raising those doubts tonight.

Taehyung sends Jeongguk a subtle panicked glare, feeling a little bad that he’s the one taking the fall each time with his intricate stories. But this time it’s a simple answer.

“I got to know Taehyung over the past two years in every way possible, the good and the bad,” he turns to look at Taehyung and gives him a smile. “And when you know, you just know. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, so I made sure of it with a ring. We might take a while to get married but for now, I’m at peace knowing we belong only to each other.”

Oh wow, how does he manage to spin this nonsense even in a half-asleep state? 

Taehyung’s father stays quiet for a while before speaking again. “And what about your parents? What do they think about your piercings and tattoos, your reputation, your choice of partner and your… lifestyle ? Especially your father?”

“Appa please,” Taehyung says quietly, his tone holding some warning in it. He knows his father has done his research and knows about Jeongguk’s issues with the media, probably from the years of articles badmouthing Jeongguk’s careless, don’t-give-a-fuck-about-anything way of living. Taehyung himself isn’t really a big fan of it but it’s impolite to ask about how Jeongguk’s parents feel about it, especially in the first meeting.

And if Taehyung’s father knows about Jeongguk’s reputation, he certainly knows about his and Taehyung’s endless arguments and enmity in the media currently. Of course he doesn’t buy their bullshit act of being in love. Taehyung should’ve known.

He starts to sweat upon the realisation, desperately praying he doesn’t say a word of it to his grandmother or the rest of his family. He racks his brain for a way to make his father believe in them, something that won’t feel too over-the-top or sudden due to this conversation, but stops when he hears Jeongguk answering.

“Well, Kim-ssi. My father might be the person I respect the most, but he cannot dictate or micro-manage every single part of my life. Especially the things beyond my control.”

Taehyung knows he’s referring to his sexuality and even though he knows he wasn’t saying it in a particularly malicious way, he selfishly hopes his father feels a little sting from it. Taehyung has been struggling to say the same thing to his father for years and although he knows Jeongguk didn’t say it for him , he still thinks his father got the message for the both of them. He looks at Jeongguk when his father doesn’t have a reply to that and gives him a smile, the first real one that evening. The first real one ever, probably.

His father doesn’t ask any more questions after that and Taehyung almost cries in relief when the driver tells them they’ve arrived at Jeongguk’s apartment. They both get out of the car after he tells his father he’ll be back after saying goodbye.

The two walk towards the glass door to his apartment building in silence, neither of them knowing what to say. The fact that they both mutually decided to never speak to each other after this hangs between them, and even though he knows he might see Jeongguk from time to time due to their mutual friends, he isn’t going to engage in petty fights or meaningless conversations anymore and stay pretty clear of him altogether.

So as they stand in front of the door, they both know it’s their last time speaking to each other.

“I hope everything was alright, tonight,” Jeongguk breaks their awkward silence, eyes anywhere but on Taehyung. 

“I hope so too,” Taehyung replies, voice overly formal. He really should leave before he blurts out something stupid and gets them in trouble again. 

“Thank you, for tonight. I’ll forever be grateful for what you did for me and my grandmother.”

Jeongguk waves it off. “I did it for your grandma, mainly. She’s a very sweet lady, I wish her the best of health.”

Taehyung nods, front teeth gnawing his bottom lip. “And I’m sorry about my dad’s question from earlier about your parents’s opinion about you. That was way out of line.”

Jeongguk finally meets his gaze, shaking his head. “It’s alright, I don’t mind talking about how much of a disappointment I am to my family,” he grins, Taehyung giving him a small smile back.

Taehyung knows it’s time to leave but he also knows his father must be looking at them from inside his car. Waiting to see what he would do next, if he would treat Jeongguk any differently from his other boyfriends, add a point to the list of his reasons that this is a sham.

Taehyung always kisses his boyfriends goodbye.

Jeongguk is turning to go inside when Taehyung grabs him by his arm. “Is my father looking at us?” he whispers to a startled Jeongguk. Oh god, what is he doing?

He sees his gaze flick from the car back to him. “Yes, I think.”

Taehyung gulps as tries to decide if what he’s about to do is the right thing or something bordering on insanity. He shouldn’t even care about what his father thinks of the two of them but the fear that he might even let his grandmother know what’s really going on makes him take the hasty decision that’s about to change his life. Overthinking be damned, everything he’s been doing for the past few hours is only to keep his grandmother happy. 

“I’m really sorry about this,” he says before closing his eyes and the gap between their lips, placing a simple but a little longer than necessary peck on Jeongguk’s lips. They feel softer than he’d ever imagined. Not that he has ever imagined kissing Jeongguk per se. His left hand cups Jeongguk's jaw for it to look more natural. He doesn’t move his mouth and neither does Jeongguk, who is probably too stunned to react, so they just stay like that, stuck to each other for a good ten seconds.

He pulls back, watching Jeongguk widen his eyes so big he’s afraid they’ll roll out of their sockets. “Good night, Jeongguk,” he says softly and leaves before Jeongguk can comment on what just happened, before his mind has a chance to react as to what he did.

As he walks towards the car, he touches his lips, still feeling the foreign pressure on them, completely missing the rush of the bushes right next to the entrance, just as they both had missed the click and flash of a camera snapping during their kiss.

He sits in the car, the reality of his actions slowly dawning on him. 

It doesn’t matter , he thinks as he buries himself under the covers as if they’ll save him from his embarrassment. He’ll apologise to Jeongguk about the kiss by text or pass a message through Jimin. It was just a simple peck on the lips, he doesn’t need to make a big deal about it. He’s never speaking to Jeongguk ever again anyway.

He closes his eyes, the exhaustion of the whole ordeal finally taking a toll on him and lulling him into a sleep so heavy, that he completely misses the constant vibrations of his phone, Seokjin and Yoongi trying to reach him to inform him about something that he’d never expected would happen.

Chapter Text

For the first time in the past week, Taehyung wakes up fully rested and with a smile on his face. 

After he successfully pulled off the risky mission last night, nothing can ruin the rest of his month anymore. He had dinner with his family after years, his grandmother is happy knowing her last wish is fulfilled, and he never has to speak to his arch nemesis ever again.

Life couldn’t get any better, in his opinion.

He checks the time on his alarm clock and sees it’s just past noon, meaning he’s slept for well over 13 hours. No wonder he feels so refreshed. The light streaming into his room is still bright and warm. His eyes catch the beautiful engagement ring he wore last night resting on the bedside table, right next to his framed family photo. He should give it to Jimin as soon as possible so he can deliver it to Jeongguk, along with an apology for the… sudden action he took last night.

The smile stays glued to his face while he brushes his teeth, admiring how clear his skin has been lately. He takes a long shower, taking his time exfoliating his body and conditioning his hair, smelling like strawberries as he steps out of his bathroom.

He checks his phone and unsurprisingly finds it dead, given how it was just at 2% when he went to bed yesterday. He plugs it into his charger, walks to his kitchen and puts two bread slices in the toaster. He hums a cheerful tune as he butters the toast and pours in some apple juice in a tall glass, relishing the sunlight bathing the room. 

He grabs his plate and glass and sits on the breakfast table, a feeling of contentment flowing through him.

Right until his phone switches on and he hears the notifications pouring in, the vibrations so frequent the device almost falls from the table.

Grumbling a little about not getting any free days, he walks to the buzzing phone with a toast in hand, almost dropping it when he sees the number of calls he’s missed from Seokjin and Yoongi, or the texts he’s received congratulating him on his engagement.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

How the fuck do his friends or colleagues know about his fake engagement? What happened while Taehyung was snoring his ass off in bed?

With slightly shaky hands he dials Seokjin’s number, keeping it a safe distance from his ear in case he picks it up and starts yelling without warning. Ideally, Taehyung would like to make sure his eardrums are still intact. 

But there was no shouting involved. Seokjin picked up after three rings, dropping all greetings and asking Taehyung a simple question in a very deep and intimidating voice. “Taehyung, mind telling me where you have been for the past six hours I’ve been calling you?”

Taehyung is so fucking screwed. 

He tries to de-escalate the situation by being fully honest. No use in making up useless excuses and angering his manager further. “My phone died while I was sleeping and I woke up ten minutes ago.” There’s no need for Seokjin to know he spent the last 45 minutes just taking a shower.

His manager doesn’t reply for a solid minute and Taehyung is almost sure he hung up on him in disappointment. “Alright,” he hears him say just as he is about to check, “do you know what has happened or why I’ve been oh so desperately calling you?”

Taehyung has an inkling of what might’ve occurred but he has no idea how it did, so he keeps his mouth shut. He knows Seokjin is about to explain anyway.

“You did something extremely stupid last night and as usual, it has blown up out of proportion. I need you in my office in exactly thirty minutes. You come here one minute late and I’m resigning. Do you understand, Taehyung?”

Taehyung audibly gulps as he affirms. He knows, by the low tone of Seokjin’s voice, he’s fucked up more than he ever has and there’s no way he’s taking his threat lightly. 

He runs to his closet and picks up the first t-shirt and pair of pants he finds and quickly puts them on, nearly injuring himself when he slips on a pair of socks. Grabbing a cap and a mask to save himself from the reporters that have surely gathered at the gate, he locks his apartment and runs out of the backdoor of the building where his car is always parked for emergencies like these. 

Taehyung gets in the car and drives out of the parking garage, barely missing the reporters who noticed his car just as he was driving away. Fuck you all , he mentally curses at men running behind his car with cameras and microphones in their hands. Fuck you for taking away my privacy since I was a child.

Taehyung knows he’s not being fair. These people, although real-life demons in his eyes, are simply doing their job so they can pay their bills. But the anger in him currently overpowers all rational thought. He’s always harassed for the smallest of things, robbed of basic needs and he can never feel safe in his own home. His anger is justified and he’s still seething as he parks his car in his company’s parking lot.

He hurries out of his car when he realises he only has six more minutes until he’s manager-less, ignoring every single look thrown towards him as he impatiently waits for the lift to arrive with his arms crossed over his chest and his foot tapping on the ground. He knows they all have seen the news through whichever trashy media site that posted it first and are dying to know the real gossip behind it, even the famous idols that belong to the same company as him.

Nobody expected Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jeongguk, sworn enemies, to be engaged overnight.

Seokjin is waiting for him right outside the lift when he arrives, gaze fixed on his wristwatch. He looks up as Taehyung steps out of it, tilting his head and looking exhausted yet prim in a clean suit. “One more minute and you would’ve needed a new manager to put up with all your nonsense.” He sighs and starts walking towards his office door.

Taehyung smiles sheepishly as he follows him, shaking his head. Leave it to Seokjin to cheer him up with his dramatics.

He follows Seokjin into his office, halting when he sees the two won’t be alone for today’s discussion, and his skin goes cold. Jeongguk sits in one of the chairs in the room, eyes narrowed menacingly at Taehyung as he enters. The wrath they hold makes him gulp but he prays it doesn’t show. His eyes flick to the person sitting next to Jeongguk, who he assumes is his manager, who looks much friendlier than his client. He gives Taehyung a dimpled smile as he sits on the chair next to him and stretches his hand out. 

“My name is Kim Namjoon and I’m Jeongguk’s manager. It’s nice to finally meet you, Taehyung-ssi,” he introduces and Taehyung has to admit he looks very handsome. With his pressed suit, black-framed glasses and straight posture, he seems very intelligent and resourceful too. He has to be if he’s dealing with someone like Jeongguk on a daily basis.

Taehyung shakes his hand with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you as well. And just Taehyung is fine.”

“Yes, yes, we’re all very happy to meet each other,” Jeongguk scoffs as Seokjin takes a seat, impatient and unlikeable less than ten seconds into this meeting. “Now can we please deal with the problem that, to no one’s surprise, is caused by Taehyung?”

Taehyung’s jaw tightens as he settles in his chair. Jeongguk is right, of course, but did he have to say it in such a nasty way?

“One would think you’d be used to waking up to problematic articles about yourself, Jeongguk,” he retorts, shaking his head. “With how your erratic behaviour makes headlines almost every week.”

He hears Jeongguk’s sharp intake of breath but Seokjin beats him to it. “Taehyung,” he says, tone full of warning, “I would greatly appreciate you cooperating and dealing with the matter at hand in a civil manner.”

Taehyung’s bottom lip slightly juts out but he doesn’t say anything in reply, choosing to cross his arms and look to the side like a stubborn 5 year old instead. 

“Thank you,” Seokjin breathes out, resting his arms on his table full of files and documents. He looks exhausted as if he was abruptly woken up from his sleep. Knowing how the media likes to drop these horrible articles right before the sun rises and everyone is far away in dreamland, he probably was. Taehyung feels bad and decides to be on his best behaviour. After all, they’re all in this predicament because of him.

“Now, as we all know, we’re all gathered here today to discuss the unfortunate article that Dispatch posted at four this morning,” he says as he taps away on his iPad. He turns the device towards them. “In case you haven’t come across it yet.”

Taehyung, who is probably the only one in the entire country who hasn’t seen it yet, takes the iPad from him. Right on top is a slightly blurry picture of them kissing with their eyes closed, Taehyung’s hand resting on Jeongguk’s cheek and the ring on his finger glinting under the light of the door. Fuck. How did someone manage to capture the exact moment when the media didn’t even know the two were together in the first place? He reads the headline with a grimace. 

BREAKING: Feud or Flaming Passion? Alleged adversaries Jeon Jeongguk and Kim Taehyung spotted sharing a steaming kiss!

Taehyung scoffs. “ Steaming kiss ? It was just a peck, aren’t they overdoing it a little?” He pushes the iPad away, too grossed out to look at the image anymore. 

“Taehyung, this is Dispatch we’re talking about,” Seokjin reasons, shaking his head. “I’m just glad they didn’t say you were dry humping each other in public.”

Jeongguk groans and Taehyung pretends to throw up. “Hyung, you would be insane to think I would do anything of that sort with someone so annoying,” he says with his face scrunched up in disgust.

“You didn’t think I was so annoying last night when you decided to suddenly suck my face,” Jeongguk taunts, raising his pierced eyebrow. Taehyung, idiotically, takes the bait. 

“Oh, get over yourself, our lips barely touched.”

“They shouldn’t have been near each other in the first place,” he shudders and Taehyung rolls his eyes. 

“Enough,” Namjoon interrupts, voice surprisingly stern. “You both need to behave if you want to solve this issue.”

That shuts both of them up and Taehyung decides to read through the rest of the article. It’s a short one, talking about the kiss shared outside Jeongguk’s building in the beginning and then talks about the engagement ring on Taehyung’s finger, wondering how the two managed to keep so much under wraps for so long. Their hostile history is briefly mentioned and the author of the article wonders when those insults turned into confessions of love. Lastly, they wonder why they both decided to hide their romance under the pretence of hating each other and a link to an article about their argument at the launch party from a few days ago is posted.

Taehyung licks his lips while reading the comments, which are mostly positive, much to his surprise. A few exceptions of people calling it fake or a publicity stunt also appear, along with a bunch of homophobia which he already expected. 

He lets out a long sigh as he passes the iPad back to Seokjin. “So, what are we supposed to do now?”

Seokjin places the apparatus back on the table and looks at him. “Well, you can start by telling us exactly what happened last night and why you did what you did.”

Taehyung tries to formulate the words in his head before he begins. “First things first, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. My actions have caused a huge problem that affects all of us, but mainly Jeongguk. So, I’m truly sorry about all this,” he tries sounding as sincere as possible. Even though it kills his pride, he knows it’s fully his fault and he needs to apologise for the mess he’s caused, considering how Jeongguk had done so much for him last night, only to be involved in yet another scandal.

Seokjin looks pleased with his apology and Namjoon smiles at him. Jeongguk looks a little stunned but doesn’t reply, choosing to nod his head in acknowledgement before looking away. Whatever, not like Taehyung expects anything from him. 

“Anyways,” Taehyung continues, turning to Seokjin, “the only reason I did it was because my father wasn’t fully convinced by our act during dinner and he kept asking us questions during the entire ride home. So when Jeongguk told me he was looking at the two of us from the car, I guess I acted on impulse to sell the bit even further. I never expected a pap to be hiding around somewhere.” He makes a face. “There’s no other reason I would ever willingly kiss Jeongguk.” Taehyung knew the last line wasn’t required but his petty side couldn’t be contained, as per usual.

Jeongguk laughs mockingly. “And thank god for that. Even marble statues kiss more passionately than you do.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “You wanted me to make out with you while my father watched us? Keep your kinks to yourself, freak.”

“Alright,” Seokjin interrupts, eyes narrowed. “What’s done is done, not much can be done about the article or the kiss. The best step forward is to decide what to do next.”

His tone turns professional and it spurs Taehyung into following their regular procedure whenever an article about him drops. “Reactions?” he asks, sitting up straighter.

A hint of a smile graces Seokjin’s face. “97% positive.”

Taehyung’s mouth almost drops open. He did expect his loyal fans to support this recent development but ninety-fucking-seven percent positive? Yeah, that’s got to be a joke. There’s no way so many people would root for a relationship between two people who were at each other’s throats until a few days ago. “Are you serious?”

His manager nods. “Deathly serious.” He grabs his iPad again, tapping lightly on the screen. “A few accounts conducted polls on Twitter and Instagram asking if people are for or against your relationship and the ‘for’ option is always winning by a landslide.” He shows it to the two of them, who stare at the screenshots with puzzled expressions. “There’s thousands of tweets admiring how compatible and gorgeous you look together and people have already given you a ship name. Would you like to hear it?”

Taehyung would rather chop both of his ears off before he learns that stupid name. 

Jeongguk seems to agree. “No, thank you,” he says, making a disgusted face. “How are people so supportive of this sudden change in our relationship? Our fans were literally fighting each other daily on Twitter until two days ago!”

Taehyung nods but Seokjin just shrugs. “Perhaps they decided if you two are happy together, then they’re happy for you. Most of the users love your whole love story or the enemies to lovers arc as they’re calling it right now.”

Jeongguk groans in reply. “There’s no way this bullshit can keep going on. This rumour is doing me more harm than good and I really don’t need that right now.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Jeongguk,” Namjoon interrupts him, grabbing Taehyung’s attention. “You have been trending for the past six hours on Twitter and all of those tweets are talking about how cute the two of you are, both together and individually. A lot of clips and pictures of your races and wins are going viral right now and you and I both know how badly you need the positive clout.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen and he tilts his head. “All this because I’m dating him ?” he points, voice full of awe and horror at the same time as if Taehyung is some filthy scum on earth.

Taehyung is about to defend himself when Jin speaks to him. “You too, Taehyungie. Your past photoshoots and YouTube covers have been circulating since the article dropped and no one can stop appreciating you and your music.”

Taehyung can’t believe it. Is this stupid dating rumour, with Jeongguk out of all people, truly giving him more popularity than he can ever imagine? It seems like some surreal nightmare dressed like a dream that he desperately wants to wake up from. 

This is just what he needs too. That one push forward to the top from the static position he’s been at. Finally, Taehyung can become the star he’s always dreamed of becoming. It just sucks that it took being seen kissing Jeon Jeongguk to get him there.  

“And after seeing all this,” Namjoon says when the two are too stunned to speak, “Seokjin-ssi and I thought of an idea. It’s something both of you would be fully against but we agree that it’s the best option to give your careers the boost they desperately need.”

Taehyung thinks he knows what they’re trying to get at but he’s too scared to hear it.

“We think you two should pretend to date for a few months,” Seokjin announces. There’s a split second of pure silence as they take in the statement before Taehyung and Jeongguk begin to yell out in protest.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I would rather stab myself with a thousand tiny needles!”

“You want me to date him ? Is this a joke?”

Seokjin and Namjoon barely look deterred by the outbursts, already having expected them.

Taehyung whines. “How am I supposed to be in a relationship with him when I want to bash his head into a wall every two seconds?”

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, and I– wait, what?” he turns to him, eyes a little terrified.

Taehyung shrugs. “It’s not like you make it easier for me with your unbearable personality.”

Jeongguk’s mouth drops open as he turns to Namjoon. “You see?” he asks, gesturing wildly with his hands. “ This is who you’re asking me to have a relationship with! What if he murders me on one of our fake dates?”

Namjoon sighs. “Jeongguk, I’m sure Taehyung doesn’t mean it–”

“You don’t know that! He could be a murdering psychopath for all we know.”

Taehyung laughs. “If I truly was a murdering psychopath you would’ve been long dead by now.”

“Taehyung, that’s enough,” Seokjin chides him, staring disapprovingly. He turns to Jeongguk. “Jeongguk, rest assured that you will be alive by the time this contract ends, and that’s a Kim Seokjin guarantee.” He even sends the guy a charming thumbs up for further reassurance. 

Taehyung raises his eyebrows. “You’ve already made a contract? Without consulting us?” Seokjin wouldn’t betray him like that, would he?

Seokjin sighs. “Of course not, Tae. We wanted to discuss it with you first before taking any step forward.”

Taehyung crosses his arms. “There’s nothing to discuss then since I have zero interest in doing this.”

“At least we can agree on something ,” Jeongguk adds, turning to Namjoon. “I’m not doing this as well.”

The two managers share a look that lasts for a few seconds before Seokjin sighs. “Alright, then. It’s ultimately your choice. Although,” he says and Taehyung knows this trick. His manager always has a wild card up his sleeve to get whatever he wants. Something that Taehyung can never refuse or that will definitely change his mind about the whole thing altogether. He’s proven right immediately. “I’ll have you know that after the article dropped, not only did Singularity rechart on MelOn, Bugs and Genie in the top 5, it also debuted in the Spotify Daily Global Chart at number 7.”

The world around Taehyung stops for a few seconds as the words fall on his ears. Did he hear that correctly? Is his debut single truly on one of the world’s biggest charts at the moment at the mere mention of his engagement?

“That’s impossible,” he gasps out, still not believing the incredible news. “How did it land in the top 11 months after its release? It’s a Korean song! All this because of that one rumour?” It’s not like a few other renowned Korean artists hadn’t achieved this but for someone like Taehyung, who officially debuted a year ago and still doesn’t have an album out, to reach this feat…it’s unheard of. He has his fair share of fans but the number is far too small to achieve this. Especially on a global chart.

Seokjin shrugs. “Jeongguk has a lot of international fans, being the youngest F1 driver in history. They must’ve wanted to check his fiance and his music out.”

Taehyung feels a wave of disgust crash his body. There’s no way he got his first entry in the Spotify chart because of Jeongguk. He refuses to believe it. His talent deserves it, no doubt. But not because of some false rumour and a blurry picture. He can’t seem to form a word over the shame spreading in him, telling him that he’ll forever be indebted to Jeon Jeongguk, whether he decides to fake-date him or not.

“You have a lot to gain from this as well, Jeongguk,” Namjoon says, causing Jeongguk to scoff. “The Bahrain Grand Prix is in a month and your reputation hasn’t been great these days,” he reasons. Jeongguk’s face sours and turns slightly pink. “You know your father or the team aren’t very happy about the articles or your performance and at this point we’re desperate. If this fake engagement will be of help to you during your first World Championship, then so be it. You know you need all the positive attention you can get.”

Taehyung sees Jeongguk’s face contort into a conflicted emotion as if he’s waging a war in his head. He’s sure the racer is thinking the same thing as he is: is the proposal truly worth considering?

Taehyung won’t lie, he didn’t even gather this many streams on his debut day, when everyone was curious to see what the Kim’s son, who previously was thought to take over the company but suddenly joined the idol industry instead, had released. The majority of the country tuned in that day and his first day streams exceeded everyone’s expectations.

But they were nothing compared to today’s numbers.

The gears in his head turn. If a mere picture and a Dispatch article can cause this much commotion, what might a confirmation posted by either of the two or even a few pictures together on a supposed date do? He’s set to release his first album this year, this so-called relationship might actually help him get the attention he needs, especially since his career hasn’t taken off the way he wanted to, yet.  

He glances at Seokjin, who studies his face as if he’s aware of what’s going on in his head already, that he’s almost made up his mind and just needed a little push. If he’s the one who agreed to this crazy plan, it’s for Taehyung’s good. Seokjin will never propose something so risky unless he’s sure about its consequences.

“Think about your grandmother,” he says and Taehyung knows he’s almost convinced him. “She can see you happy for longer and I know it’s not morally right to keep lying to her like that but you two did well at the dinner, this is the exact same thing but for a little longer, maybe four to five months. Just until you both reach a particular popularity point.” He crosses his arms across his chest. “Then you can tell her the truth, I’m sure she’ll understand.”

She would, Taehyung is also sure of it. He might end up breaking her heart in the process though, and does he really want that?

“Okay,” Jeongguk says, Taehyung’s heart skipping a beat. He raises his head, meeting Jeongguk’s doubtful gaze. “I’m in.”

Even though Taehyung too was about to say the same thing, Jeongguk’s confirmation still takes him by surprise. Does he realise what he’s agreed to? What being in a fake relationship actually entails? It won’t be as easy as the dinner was. It means more public outings, social media interactions, pictures, PDA, the whole nine yards. Plus, they’ll have to show their chemistry enough to make people swoon, whether that be online or in interviews.  

The three heads turn to him and he knows his answer will make or break both of their lives and careers. He feels hot all of a sudden, the responsibility of his choice bearing down on him. 

Oh, what the hell. He’ll lay down all of his conditions and make sure they’re accepted and all he has to do is pose in front of the cameras and pretend to be nice to Jeongguk for a couple of hours. He’s dealt with harder challenges in his life, he can handle this without much difficulty.

“Me too,” he says, trying to keep his voice stable. “I’m in too.”

Seokjin smiles and gives him a nod as if confirming he’s doing the right thing. Taehyung will never trust anyone like he trusts his manager, so it puts him slightly at ease.

“Wonderful,” Namjoon says, sounding pleased. “Now, the first thing is to discuss—”

They are interrupted by Jeongguk’s phone ringing. Taehyung almost groans out loud but stops himself when he sees fear flash across the racer’s face as he glances at his screen.

He watches him meet his manager’s gaze with a knowing expression as if the two were conversing in their head. Namjoon nods, seemingly having understood what he was trying to convey. 

“I’m truly sorry for this Seokjin-ssi, but I’m afraid I have to leave,” Jeongguk says apologetically. “I promise to keep in touch about the contract and further steps.”

Taehyung clicks his tongue. “We’re all busy here, Jeongguk. Surely you can spare a few more minutes discussing–”

“If I had the time, I would,” Jeongguk snaps at him, already grabbing his coat. “The first Grand Prix is soon and I need to practice. I’ll let you know when I’m free.”

He leaves the room without a word, almost running towards the lift. Taehyung sighs, rubbing his temples. In the happiness over his chart positions, he forgot Jeongguk is the one set to be his fake fiance, someone whom he can’t stand or speak civilly for more than ten seconds. This isn’t going to be as easy as he’d previously thought.

“ This is the guy who you want me to date?” he asks Seokjin, completely ignoring the fact that Namjoon is still in the room when he points to the door Jeongguk just used. “He can’t even have a simple discussion. And what the fuck is a Grand Prix, anyway?”

Namjoon laughs at his frustration as he stands up. “A Grand Prix is a race weekend in the World Championship.” He grabs his coat and bows at the two. “I’ll leave too since I have some work to do. I’ll be in touch, Seokjin–ssi,” he says smiling at him. When did they exchange numbers? Why do they already look so familiar with each other? Taehyung doesn’t want his and Jeongguk’s lives or friend circles to mix, with the exception of Jimin but he doesn’t think that can be avoided now. 

Namjoon turns to him. “You should touch up on your racing knowledge a bit, now that you have a racer fiance. You might get asked about it in interviews.” 

Well, shit. Now Taehyung has homework? This is already starting to suck and they haven’t even signed anything yet. 

He departs after saying goodbye, leaving only Taehyung and Seokjin in his office. “So, are you ready for all the attention you’ll be getting, Tae?” Seokjin asks, a teasing smile on his face once they’re alone. “Now that you’re engaged to the youngest F1 racer in history, everyone will want to talk about you.” Looks like he’s back to best friend mode. Great.

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “It better be all good attention, hyung, or expect me under your bed soon.”

His manager grins. “Don’t worry about anything, Taehyung. If things go according to plan, I’m sure you’ll gain something much better than clout from this arrangement.”

“Like what?” he asks, leaning forward with his eyebrows raised.

Seokjin only gives him a cryptic smile and a vague answer. “You’ll see, Taehyungie. Just wait and watch.”

♬♬♬

Jeongguk hears his phone ring again the moment he fastens his seatbelt. He stares at the contact and sighs. He doesn’t think he can postpone talking to his father any longer, knowing how irritated he gets when Jeongguk doesn’t pick up his calls. He connects the phone to the car speakers and braces himself for the lecture that he’s sure is about to come.

“Jeongguk? I have been calling you for the past five minutes, where have you been?” his father's voice booms in the vehicle as he drives out of the parking lot, thankfully not furious yet stern. 

“I’m sorry, appa. I’m driving to the training centre right now.”

He hears his father sigh. “You were supposed to be there two hours ago, Jeongguk. Where are you right now? Still in bed, hungover? Or with your fiance that your mother and I have never heard of until this morning?”

Jeongguk winces at Taehyung’s mention, brain racking a mile a minute for a response. Should he tell his father the truth? Or should he just go along with it? He’s always hated lying to his father, who trusts him the most. When Jeongguk was a child, even a little white lie would make him feel incredibly guilty until he ended up confessing to him, which his father always appreciated but it still got him in trouble for lying in the first place so he never did it. 

Jeongguk thinks of Taehyung, lying to his entire family about his relationship, even his grandmother whom he claims to love more than anyone else in the world. Would it be fair for him to tell his family the truth when Taehyung is hiding it from his? He isn’t sure that bringing his family into this complicated mess is a great idea, knowing how stressed his father already is about the upcoming championship. And isn’t this thing lasting for a few months, anyway? He can just tell his parents it didn’t end up working out in the end.

“Jeongguk, what’s going on?” his father breaks him out of his thoughts and he realises he has to take a right turn. “How and why are you suddenly engaged to someone who you were constantly fighting with until a week ago?”

Jeongguk gulps before answering, hoping his fib is believable. “Everything happened so fast, Appa. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Well surely you didn’t get engaged on the first date, this must have been a long, hard thought decision right?” he asks, and Jeongguk suddenly wants to laugh at how stupid this all is. There’s no way anyone is going to believe them. His father pauses. “Look, I just wished you’d talk to your parents before taking such a big step. You’re just 21 and the championship is just around the corner. You could’ve waited.” He sounds disappointed, cracking his heart a little.

“I know, appa. I promise I’ll explain everything to you and eomma. How about I come over for dinner tonight?” He drives into the Ferrari training centre’s parking lot and rests his head on the wheel. How can he even begin to explain this sudden development?

“Not today, Jeongguk. Your mother and I are going on a date,” Jeongguk can hear the slight smile in his voice and it makes him smile too. His parents are the most romantic people he knows and he’s always wished he’d find a love like theirs. But now he’s stuck pretending to be engaged to the biggest brat in the world instead, which will surely set him back in finding a good partner for years. Just lovely.

“Alright, appa. I’ll drop by tomorrow. But now I have to go, I’ve reached the centre.”

“Of course,” he replies before pausing. “Jeongguk, you know I do everything for your own good, right? I’m happy for you but—I just wished you waited until your name was a household one in the F1 world. We’ve worked so hard for this since you were a teenager, you’re aware of that. Just…make sure you always remember what the real goal is, alright?”

Jeongguk bites his lip. He knows how much his being a racer means to his father, the first South Korean racer who sustained a life threatening injury at his prime. He’d seen his father fall into the pits of depression after losing one of the things he loved most in his life, something that gave it meaning. Jeongguk decided then at age 16, to become a professional racer himself and fulfil his father’s dream of being the first South Korean man to win the world championship. He’s encountered a few bumps on the way and he might pressure himself too much sometimes but he’ll do anything to keep his father happy, someone who has done everything in his life for his family.

“I will, I will. I promise I won’t let you down, Appa,” he takes a determined breath. He won’t let this fake relationship come in between his ambitions. It’ll pass by like anything and then Jeongguk can go back to his normal life without Taehyung ruining things. 

His father chuckles on the other line. “I know you won’t. Practise hard, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jeongguk sees his trainer’s text flash onto his phone after his father disconnects the call. Just from the lack of his usual emojis, he knows he’s pissed off so he doesn’t waste more time before locking his car and walking through the training centre door, greeted by a very angry Hoseok with his arms folded.

“You’re late,” Hoseok greets him with a cold tone before he can speak.

“Hello to you too,” he grins in reply but sobers up quickly when he realises his trainer isn’t in the mood. “What’s wrong, hyung?”

Hoseok stares at him for a moment before shaking his head. “Nothing,” is the only word he answers before walking towards his office.

Jeongguk follows him with his eyebrows scrunched together, a little confused about the attitude. He knows he’s more than three hours late for his training but it’s not like it’s his first time. He’s often late to his practices due to oversleeping or being hungover, sometimes Hoseok himself accompanying him in his misery. Besides, today he was late due to a legitimate reason and not because of his usual carelessness. He almost groans thinking about it. 

Hoseok still doesn’t speak to him as he sits down at his desk and rummages through his papers, presumably searching for Jeongguk’s schedule for the day. The racer takes a seat in front of him and watches his unwavering pissed expression. He hates that. Hoseok was one of the people who was always bubbly and happy, constantly trying to cheer him up whenever he was demotivated and giving him a boost of optimism when he was feeling too down. Jeongguk doesn’t like it when he’s mad or disappointed, especially at him. 

He leans his body forward, eyes automatically widening. “Are you really so mad at me for coming late? I tried to be here as soon as possible but I had an important matter to attend to this morning, hyung.”

“Of course you did, after the news dropped this morning,” Hoseok scoffs as he finds the paper he was looking for. Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat as he meets his trainer’s gaze, eyes swimming with anger. “Do you really think I’m mad at you because you’re late?”

Jeongguk knows he isn’t. In all the chaos since his phone almost burst with notifications this morning he completely forgot about how his family or friends were going to react to this news, especially the ones who knew the nature of his Taehyung’s relationship. He just didn’t specifically think it would make Hoseok this mad, which was very stupid of him. 

He sighs, already ready with a half-ass explanation.“Hyung, about the article–”

“Oh, so now you want to tell me about the fact that you’re fucking engaged? And to the person who used to get on your nerves until two days ago?”

“No, so if you could just hear me out–”

“Do you know how it felt waking up to see an article trending on Naver about how my best friend was engaged to the person I thought he despised the most in the world? How it felt realising that Jimin knew of this already when I called him and he didn’t seem surprised at the slightest?”

Jeongguk’s heart clenches hearing the pain and betrayal in his voice. “How could you not tell me, Jeongguk? I thought we were good friends! Do you know how stupid this makes me feel  now? How guilty I am thinking of the times I kept encouraging you to hook up at the clubs?” His eyes widen in horror. “Fuck, didn’t you hook up with a guy last week? Jeongguk, what the fuck–”

“Hyung! It’s not real!” he yells, finally silencing the rambling trainer. 

Hoseok’s mouth opens and closes a few times as he tries to take in the new information. “What– I don’t– what’s not real?”

Jeongguk whines and rubs his face tiredly. Waking up at seven am after downing a whole bottle of vodka last night and reading a bunch of articles about him being engaged first thing in the morning was not the way he wanted to start today or any other day, for that matter. He realises that he’ll have many other friends or acquaintances who are going through the same shock and that he’ll have to deal with them too sooner or later. But he doesn’t care about them at the moment. He needs to come clean to his best friend first.

“The whole engagement isn’t real. The kiss in the picture is but there’s a whole story behind it so if you could just listen to me patiently that would be lovely,” he exasperates. 

Thankfully, Hoseok doesn’t argue and nods at him to start his explanation. Jeongguk narrates the whole mess, starting from Taehyung telling him about his grandmother and the dinner, the entire Saturday evening and the kiss, ending with the decision to continue this PR relationship for their careers. His friend listens to him patiently without interjecting even once, which Jeongguk really appreciates, especially seeing how he’s dying to voice out his opinions on the matter.

But when Jeongguk finishes, he doesn’t say a word for the next few minutes, an intrigued expression settled on his face. “Hyung, we’ve known each other since I was a teenager. You’re not only my trainer but my best friend. The only reason I didn’t tell you this earlier was that I didn’t know it was going to blow up this colossally. Namjoon hyung didn’t know about this either until this morning and Jimin hyung only knew because he’s the common link between Taehyung and me.”

Hoseok sighs before nodding. “I understand, Jeongguk. I’m sorry I lashed out at you and insinuated you’re a cheater.”

Jeongguk shakes his head. He would’ve done the same if not worse, if he was in the other’s shoes. “It’s not your fault. And I would never cheat on my partner, you know that.”

Hoseok gives him a small apologetic smile. “Jeongguk, you know what you’re doing right?” he asks, concern replacing the anger in his voice.

Jeongguk buries his face in his palms, resisting the urge to scream into them. “Nope! Not at all.” He clicks his tongue and faces Hoseok again. “This whole thing just happened so fast and I was so overwhelmed when Namjoon hyung told me how much popularity I was gaining because of this that I–” he sucks in a breath to compose himself. “My reputation has been on the verge of falling apart for the past few years. When appa told me that the team was thinking of choosing someone else to represent them in the championship, I knew I had to damage control, real quick. And when the opportunity presented in front of me so easily I didn’t know what else to do but take it.”

Unfortunately, Jeongguk can’t survive on his family name alone. He needs to sweeten up his image and right now, a golden opportunity has been handed to him. 

Hoseok gives him a sympathetic expression. “Be careful, Jeongguk. These types of things can get dangerous very fast. I just hope you keep this under control at all times.” The younger one nods. He gives him a teasing smile. “So, dating Taehyung, huh? Bet you’re thrilled.”

Jeongguk groans and throws his head back in complaint. “Don’t remind me. I can’t believe I have to act lovey-dovey with that brat for months. Did you know we both fought while we were discussing the fake relationship? This is going to be nearly impossible.”

Hoseok laughs, grabbing the paper and getting up from his chair. “You better put on your best acting shoes, Jeonggukie.” He stands next to his chair and squeezes his shoulder. “I’m here for you always, alright? Don’t ever think you can’t talk to me about whatever you’re going through.” He gives him one of his heart-shaped smiles and for a moment, everything in the world feels right again.

“Now, let’s start today’s training,” he tells him with a light smack on his head, signalling he’s back in trainer mode. “You’ve already wasted half the day, let’s make use of the rest in the best way we can.”

♬♬♬

“Would you like something to drink?” Taehyung asks before opening the fridge door, staring at Jeongguk looking extremely uncomfortable and out of place on his couch. “Coffee, tea, juice, milk…bleach, perhaps?” 

Jeongguk looks up at him just to roll his eyes. “Ha ha, very funny,” he says before thinking for a second. “Do you have any beer or whiskey?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows shoot up. “It’s 10 in the morning.” He does a terrible job of hiding his disgust. 

The racer gives him a shrug. “So what, it’s 7 o’clock somewhere, or however that saying goes. Besides, I’ll need some alcohol in my system to survive this .”

This being them discussing their contract terms and personal conditions before finalising and signing it. It’s been three days since the article dropped and the two have been swarmed with paps everywhere they went until Taehyung decided to shut himself in for a while. Seokjin kept telling him it was because the people were hungry for confirmation or some related news or their reactions to the picture going viral. Well, fuck the people’s hunger for nosing in his personal life. They can all starve and die for all he cares. But that meant saying goodbye to all the good things this rumour has brought them and well– Taehyung can’t get himself to do that, not when his sales are off the roof. People really do care about him and Jeongguk for some reason and he’s not going to be the one to refuse the few blessings he gets in his life.

If only he could stop himself from arguing with Jeongguk every two seconds. 

“Do you really want to be drunk while we negotiate our conditions?” he asks, ignoring the beeping sound of the refrigerator telling him to close the door.

Jeongguk laughs. “Not everyone gets drunk off one glass and creates an unnecessary scene,” he mocks. Taehyung seethes, knowing he’s referring to the time Taehyung drank one glass of rum and become instantly intoxicated, which led him to get pissed off at something insignificant that Jeongguk did and argue with him right in the middle of the party hall in an extremely loud voice before losing his footing and crashing into the stacked champagne glass tower. He still remembers the articles released the next day making fun of his erratic and clumsy behaviour.

“Whatever,” he clicks his tongue, finally closing the fridge. “I don’t have any alcohol at home.” He might have a bottle of pink gin somewhere lying around but Taehyung isn’t going to tell Jeongguk that, not after he reminded and teased him about the disastrous party from years ago.

Jeongguk makes a face. “Seriously? Who doesn’t keep at least one beer bottle in their fridge?”

“Someone who despises beer,” Taehyung answers back as he takes a seat on the other end of the sofa. 

Jeongguk stares at him with an exaggerated horrified expression upon the revelation. “Lord, I don’t think I can do this with you anymore.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. God, this man is painful to be around. “Just because I hate beer? I’m not a fan of alcohol in general if that makes you feel any worse. Quit being dramatic and get your notebook out.”

Jeongguk chuckles as he takes out his laptop from his bag. “My notebook? What am I, a little boy from the 80s?”

“Some people still like writing in notebooks, you know,” The singer comments as he grabs his own notebook and pen on the centre table. “You don’t have to be such an ass about everything.”

Jeongguk wants to protest but Taehyung talks over him, not at all in the mood to argue. “So tell me, Jeongguk. Do you have any specific requests for our contract?”

Jeongguk looks away, thinking. “Hmm. I haven’t thought much about it, to be honest. You?”

Taehyung shakes his head. He’s never been in a situation such as this before and no matter how much he’s thought it over, he has no idea what terms should constitute for this type of contract. 

“It’s my first time doing this too. I asked hyung what to discuss and he told me just the things we are or are not comfortable with, the duration of the contract, if there’s anything specific either of us would want our boyfriend to do and so on.”

This is going to be easier said than done. He and Jeongguk barely agreed on the time for today’s meetup, how are they supposed to agree on everything on the contract? Seokjin told him it was vital that both parties get a say in the conditions and terms of something so binding and pivotal since the moment they both signed the piece of paper they’ll have to go ahead with whatever and however it’s stated in here. He’d rather not just go with the flow only to be put in an uncomfortable position that would already dampen such a shitty situation. 

Besides, how is supposed to talk about what to do as a couple with someone he hates? 

You brought this on yourself, his brain unhelpfully reminds him. And on Jeongguk, too. Now fix it.

“Shall we begin with the duration?” Jeongguk asks, settling back on his end of the sofa. It’s still so disorienting for Taehyung to see him here with a laptop in hand, legs crossed on his furniture. He thinks if he blinks too fast the man in front of him will disappear or he’ll wake up from the nightmare where Jeongguk is pretending to be engaged to him. But that’ll also mean he’ll lose the streams his song has gotten so he tries not to wake his brain up.

“How about five months?” Taehyung offers, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. 

Jeongguk pauses typing and looks up at him. “Shouldn’t it be longer?”

“You want to spend more time with me, Jeon?” Taehyung teases, a smirk forming. “Aren’t you getting too into this?”

Jeongguk narrows his eyes. “I was thinking about my championship, actually. It lasts eight months.” He blinks and breaks their eye contact. “And about your halmeoni too.”

Taehyung’s gaze involuntarily softens at the mention of his grandma. It surprises him, how Jeongguk still thinks about and looks out for her even though his role for that evening was long over and he could go back to not giving a shit about Taehyung or his family.

“Right,” Taehyung clears his throat when it starts feeling a little clogged. “We can go according to the championship’s dates, then. I–” he interrupts himself, gulping the ball in his throat away, “I don’t know for how long halmeoni will be here, to be honest.”

Jeongguk doesn’t speak for the next few moments and when Taehyung meets his gaze there’s sympathy in his eyes. Taehyung hates it. Hates it more than anything to see it in Jeongguk’s eyes for him. He shouldn’t even know about his grandmother.

“How long did the doctor say?” he hears him ask, voice softer than he’s ever heard him use.

Taehyung starts to furiously blink away the moisture threatening to gather in his eyes. “8-10 months, if she’s lucky.”

Jeongguk lets out a long breath but doesn’t reply, typing something on his laptop and setting it on the table. 

Duration: 9 months

Taehyung closes his eyes for a moment to compose himself. “Alright then,” he says, his voice hopefully back to normal. “Let’s go further.”

They spend the next 45 minutes talking about the terms, more so arguing about the pettiest of things rather than sane discussion. Taehyung has no idea how they’re going to manage to stay on their best behaviour during their dates when they argue over the simplest of things.

“I say we keep the PDA tame,” Taehyung suggests, scribbling it down. “Only hugs and holding hands.”

Jeongguk scoffs. “What are you, a prude? You think they’ll believe we’re a couple based on us hand-holding like teenagers?”

“Well sorry if not wanting to aggressively make out in public makes me a prude. Not everyone likes to show off their private matters for the whole world to see,” Taehyung shrugs.

Jeongguk shakes his head. “You’re so full of yourself. I wasn’t talking about stripping each other in front of the cameras, but can’t we share a peck or a short kiss?”

Sharing kisses with Jeongguk? Voluntarily? Taehyung would rather burn his face off.

“No!” he shouts, disgusted. “Look, I know that I’m sexy and you can’t resist kissing my lips but I’m not even remotely interested in doing that.”

Jeongguk’s brow arches. “You’re the one who kissed me first and started this all, remember?”

Oh, damn it. He’s got a point there. Taehyung doesn’t like it when Jeongguk has a point.

“Well– that’s only cause my father was watching us and I needed to convince him–”

Jeongguk cuts him with an exasperated sigh. “Don’t you get that this is the same fucking thing, except this time we have to convince the media and the rest of the country?”

Taehyung shuts his mouth, trying to think of a way to get out of this but realises soon enough there isn’t one. “Fine!” he succumbs, furiously scribbling the words on the paper. “Just cheek kisses and I’m not arguing about this anymore. I don’t care if you call me a prude. I actually value the intimacy of kissing someone, unlike you.”

Jeongguk crosses his arms. “What, you’re telling me you’ve never kissed someone without having feelings for them? Not even during hook-ups?”

Taehyung was never a fan of hooking up or one night stands. He had a few of them in his most desperate moments but he’s never kissed his partner on the lips during those. For him, kissing on the lips meant so much more than the action itself; it meant a way of showing the affection you harbour for the other person, like sealing the promise of loving them for a long time between their lips. Taehyung has never properly kissed anyone without having feelings for them.

Until Saturday night, that is. But he chooses not to count that for the sake of his sanity.

“No, I haven’t,” he affirms, brushing his silvery bangs away from his eyes. “I won’t kiss anyone unless I have romantic feelings for them. What happened that night was out of pure desperation and for me, it was only a one time thing.”

Jeongguk stares at him before shaking his head and typing. “Alright. Only cheek kisses, hugs and hand holding.” He mutters under his breath but Taehyung catches it. “This is so stupid.”

“You’re stupid!” Taehyung lashes out like the child he is.

Jeongguk clenches his jaw. “Whatever you say, precious.” His hand stops typing. “Do you think we should give each other nicknames?”

Taehyung pretends to gag. “Polite pass. I can barely call you by your name without throwing up.”

“You’re right. Besides, the devil didn’t have a nickname either.”

“Did he tell you that when you were born as his spawn?”

That shuts Jeongguk up, who only huffs in reply before turning to his laptop. “We should attend events together sometimes. And post pictures together after our fake dates.”

Taehyung rubs the pen cap against his lips. “Hmm. You can come to visit me in the studio sometimes, I guess. Or maybe on the set of my music video.” He scribbles it down. “If I have a launch party for my album before the contract ends, you should be there too.”

Jeongguk scratches his head. “I don’t know if I can be with you so often. I have races almost every weekend starting next month.” He snaps his fingers. “Which reminds me, you should be present at some of my training practices so my team can see you. And if you could come to one of my races that would be great too.”

Taehyung snorts as he writes this down. “You want me to come to see you lose miserably?”

Jeongguk’s fists clench. “At least I’m better at racing than you’re at singing, or whatever tone-deaf voice you use in your songs.”

Taehyung gives him a glare but Jeongguk doesn’t look bothered, choosing to close his laptop instead. The things Taehyung would do to smack him upside the head with that device. 

“Two dates and four social media mentions every month would be enough I think. The mentions can mean anything from posts to pictures to tweets. Anything that gets us trending on those platforms.”

Taehyung also puts his notebook away after writing down the final conditions. “Alright. I’ll send a copy of this to Seokjin hyung and he’ll draft the contract by tomorrow.” Finally, he’s free of this asshole for the rest of the day. Taehyung thinks about the absolute peace and serenity he’s going to experience without an annoying buzzing fly constantly ruining his mood. 

Jeongguk’s phone chimes with an incoming text. “Namjoon hyung says we should take a selfie to officially announce the engagement.”

Taehyung pauses while taking a sip from his cup. “A selfie? Now?”

Jeongguk nods while packing his laptop in his bag. “Why not? The paparazzi have been up my ass for three days straight and my acquaintances have been harassing me non-stop for confirmation.” 

Taehyung takes a shaky breath. Fuck, if they post the picture then there’s really no going back. Taehyung and Jeongguk are going to be engaged for the next 9 months whether they like it or not. 

A part of him whispers that there’s still time to bail out of this. He can just refuse to comment on the article and the picture and tell his family that it didn’t end up working out between the two of them due to conflicts regarding their public image and privacy. He doesn’t know if Jeongguk has told his family about any of this yet but he’s sure he can cook up some bullshit story to save his ass and be done with it. 

“Taehyung? Here,” Jeongguk offers his phone for the picture and the singer suddenly feels suffocated, the possibility that he’s taking the stupidest decision in his life at the moment weighs down on him and cuts off his air supply. 

“Uh, hello? My arm is getting tired– hey, why are you so red all of a sudden?”

When did Taehyung’s body warm up to this extent?

“Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?” he asks with a wavering voice, trying to meet Jeongguk’s gaze. “Are you sure this won’t astronomically blow up in our faces?”

He sees Jeongguk hesitate before answering, a conflicted expression on his face. He lowers his arm. “Honest answer?” he asks, running a hand through his black locks, slightly messing them up, “I have no fucking clue what’s the aftermath of this arrangement. I’ve heard that some PR relationships end well and the others with the two people hating each other for life.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “The negative outcome isn’t so different from our ongoing situation so really, what do we have to lose?”

Taehyung thinks about his words for a moment, teeth gnawing his lower lip. Jeongguk watches him, waiting for him to make a decision. He’s right, of course. They’re both gaining immensely from this and if all this goes south they won’t end up in a situation that’s different from their current reality. He really doesn’t have anything to lose.

He takes the phone from Jeongguk’s hand. “Alright, let’s do this. Come closer so I can take the picture.”

The racer does as he’s told, sitting next to him with their thighs barely touching. Taehyung can faintly register his aftershave and he curbs the urge to shiver despite the warmth emanating from Jeongguk’s body. They snap a picture quickly and Taehyung looks at it with a grimace. 

The two sit together with a comical distance between their bodies as if they’re purposely trying to not touch each other. Their smiles are as rigid as their posture and the whole vibe resembles two preschoolers who were forced to take a picture together by their parents on their first day of school. He shakes his head. 

“Yeah, this won’t do at all. We look too unnatural here, as if we’re held at gunpoint.”

“We are, in a sort of way,” Jeongguk comments as he watches Taehyung go to his room. He searches his bedside table, picks up the ring and puts it on. The ring still perfectly sits on his third finger and his heart flips inside his chest. 

He walks back to his living room, ignoring the sensation bubbling inside of him, only to see Jeongguk almost packed and ready to leave. He studies the sofa for a moment, thinking of a good pose. He sees Jeongguk sitting with his back on one of the sofa handles and gets an idea. 

“Jeongguk, spread your legs.”

Jeongguk raises his eyebrow. “Jeez, Taehyung. At least ask me out to dinner first.”

Taehyung lets out a deep sigh and stands directly in front of him. “I’m not in the mood for jokes, Jeongguk,” he chides, even though the implications warm his cheeks. “Do you want me to sit on your lap?”

He sees Jeongguk actually thinking about it, so before he can reply with something that Taehyung has no intention of doing, he answers his own question. “No, right? So open your legs, come on. Let’s get this over with.”

Jeongguk looks sceptical but thankfully doesn’t argue further, opening his legs enough to give Taehyung a place to sit. Taehyung takes a seat and is immediately surrounded by the smell of Jeongguk’s aftershave mixing in with his musky cologne, their thighs touching as he gets a little comfortable. He tries not to think about it too much as he snaps another picture, a frown still present on his face when he checks it.

“Jeongguk, you still look so uncomfortable,” he comments, pointing to his stiff body posture.

“That’s because I am,” he retorts and Taehyung’s fucking had it. Groaning loudly, he turns to the racer. 

“Look, I’m not enjoying  a second of this either. Sitting with you like this and taking a picture while flaunting my supposed engagement ring on a regular Wednesday wasn’t part of my schedule but we have to make do somehow, don’t we? So drop your fucking constipated expression and pretend like you’re the most romantic person on the plan–”

He cuts himself off as Jeongguk suddenly shifts closer to him, his arms wrapping around Taehyung’s waist and chin resting on his shoulder. Taehyung takes a shaky breath as he’s now fully engulfed in the other’s scent, the heat radiating off his chest warming up Taehyung’s back, the hold on his waist securing him. 

What the fuck. What the actual fuck.

“This romantic enough for you?” he hears Jeongguk whisper in his ear as he tightens his grip, pulling Taehyung impossibly closer. And well– Taehyung has lost his grasp over the entire Korean language in mere seconds. 

“Mhmm,” he hums because his body can’t voice out actual words anymore.

Jeongguk is way closer than before, chest almost fully pressed to Taehyung’s back. Which means he can feel each ridge of the other’s muscles thanks to the thin fabric he threw on. In combination with Jeongguk’s heady scent and warmth, it becomes a touch too much. 

He hopes his hand isn’t shaking as he manages to smile and show off his left hand with the engagement ring sparkling on his finger, snapping the picture with his right. He’s about to move out of Jeongguk’s hold without even checking the photo when he feels lips being pressed to his cheek. 

“Take one more,” Jeongguk instructs him without moving away, his lips brushing against the soft skin of his face. The air leaves Taehyung’s lungs and he closes his eyes for a second trying to compose himself. What the fuck is Jeongguk doing? He asks himself as he raises his arm for another picture. To his horror, his face appears completely red on the screen, eyes a little wide as they fall on Jeongguk’s pout touching the centre of his right cheek. 

Taking a heavy gulp, he snaps a couple of pictures, trying not to look too conscious, something he scolded Jeongguk for a few minutes before.

He puts the phone on his lap and checks the result, surprised when he notices how well they came out. “Damn, we look good,” Jeongguk comments, once again resting his chin on Taehyung’s shoulder, making no move to separate. 

Taehyung doesn’t think he can spend another second inhaling that cologne or feel the warmth of their bodies pressed together. He quickly detaches himself from the racer, moving away quickly as if burnt.

Jeongguk doesn’t even look remotely affected by what just happened, a fact that pissed Taehyung off beyond belief. How can he stay so nonchalant about all this? How can he be normal about the fact that he just kissed his cheek?

“You look a little warm there, Taehyung,” Jeongguk grins smugly, no doubt aware of how flustered Taehyung feels at the moment. “It was just a cheek kiss, I didn’t think it would impact you this much.”

“It doesn’t,” Taehyung argues as he smoothes down his hair, trying to find something to do. Jeongguk just laughs and shakes his head, and they both know that Taehyung is lying. Dammit.

“Alright well, I’ll send you the pictures and you can post one of them and I’ll post the other,” he says as he takes his phone back. “Try to keep the caption simple yet romantic.”

Taehyung crosses his arms. “You don’t have to tell me everything, I’m not a child.”

Jeongguk shrugs, slinging his backpack across his shoulder. Taehyung can see the Ferrari logo printed on it. Is that who Jeongguk is representing? Fuck, he should start doing some background research on the sport when he finds the time.

“Then stop acting like one all the damn time. It’ll make you easier to tolerate.”

Taehyung wants to argue back but Jeongguk speaks again. “I’ll text you when I’m free so you can plan our first fake date.”

“Fuck you,” Taehyung whispers under his breath but Jeongguk seems to hear it as he opens the main door.

“I don’t fuck until the third date, sweetheart!” he replies before shutting the door, leaving Taehyung in the middle of the living room with his jaw and fists clenched.

♬♬♬

The pen shakes slightly in Taehyung’s hand as it hovers over the contract that’s surely about to ruin his life. He stares at the intimidating X marked where he’s supposed to sign, right above his name written in bold, capital letters. He takes a breath and a thousand thoughts rush through his head. He tries to silence them but they overpower him, the rush drowning out the other background noises around him. All the fancy law jargon on the paper freaks him out, reminding him that this is real and the tiniest fuck-up can greatly affect his livelihood if he isn’t careful. 

“You know we don’t have all day right? Is there a need to be this dramatic about everything?” Jeongguk’s voice pierces through his thoughts, reminding him why he was hesitating about this arrangement in the first place. He waits for his turn to sign the paper after the idol.

Taehyung ignores him and looks up to look at Seokjin instead. “Hyung, if I want to terminate the contract before the 9 month date, what is to happen next?”

Jeongguk scoffs. “Thinking of backing out even before you signed the contract? That’s just great, Taehyung. Really shows how committed you are to this thing.” He leans back into his chair with an impatient look in his eye. Asshole. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Now who is the dramatic one? I’m simply asking in case your unbearable attitude becomes dangerous to my mental well-being. Either I back out or strangle you, which do you prefer?”

Namjoon snorts, thinking that his slightly hushed voice is enough for no one to hear. “Knowing Jeongguk’s preferences he would usually choose the second option–”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk cuts him off with a hiss, eyes narrowed. His manager just shrugs in reply. 

Taehyung would’ve burst out laughing at Jeongguk’s red, embarrassed face if his own face wasn’t matching his shade.

“Right,” Seokjin says, a smile playing on his lips, “normally if both the parties agree about the termination and will sign on it, the contract will be deemed null and void. If the agreement is not mutual, the other party can sue and this matter will be followed up in court.”

Taehyung sighs and shakes his head. “Don’t make this difficult for me, Jeon,” he says before taking a breath and finally signing the document. The inky strokes of his name on the paper make him feel surreal, a constant nagging in the back of his head telling him that this small testament will be a butterfly effect in his life, changing it for the worse or better. He truly hopes it’s the latter.

Jeongguk takes the paper and pen from him with a click of his tongue. “You say it as if handling you is a piece of cake, Kim ,” he almost spits out the last word before signing without a second thought.

He almost bangs the pen on the desk before standing up and stretching. Taehyung tries not to look at the small exposed part of the waistband of his underwear that clearly says Calvin Kl–

“Well, I’m off to grab a drink,” he says while grabbing his jacket, his voice once again crashing through Taehyung’s straying thoughts. “Namjoon and Seokjin hyung, you want to accompany me?”

Seokjin smiles at him before shaking his head. “I’m busy for the rest of the night, but thank you for the invitation, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk smiles back at him and turns to his manager who tilts his head. “Didn’t we go to a bar two days ago? And you have to practise early in the morning, Jeongguk.”

The racer shrugs in reply. “So what? It’ll just be one glass of whiskey and then we can leave. You know one peg won’t affect me at all, hyung.”

Namjoon purses his lips. “Well, I’m still not available tonight, sorry. I have a meeting with your father, actually.”

Jeongguk raises his eyebrows but doesn’t comment further. He casts a glance at Taehyung who blurts out a reply even before the question is posed to him. “Sorry, I’m busy too.”

Jeongguk chuckles. “I wasn’t inviting you, though.”

Taehyung feels his face burn. Why can’t he just keep his mouth shut for once? Now he feels like the person everyone makes plans without in a friend group. The one that no one wants to hang out with cause they’re too clingy and desperate. A mocking expression settles on Jeongguk’s face and it ticks him off. “Great, 'cause I’m not available,” he defends, almost physically flinching at how terrible his comeback is.

Jeongguk laughs and shakes his head derisively. “Even if you were, I wouldn’t have asked you.”

Taehyung’s fists clench under the table. He knows Jeongguk would never hang out with him, just as he wouldn’t either. But is there a need to humiliate him in front of his managers? It shouldn’t even bother him this much. Taehyung would’ve done the same and there’s no reason for him to feel offended or even slightly…hurt? Is that what he’s fucking feeling?

It can’t be. Jeon Jeongguk can’t make him feel such an intense emotion.

He lets out a long breath before rising from his chair and bowing to the two managers. “I’ll take your leave, guys. See you tomorrow, Jinnie hyung.”

The two smile and wave at him and Taehyung walks towards the lift, praying that no one gets in with him. Seokjin’s office is on the 26th floor and that’s enough time for nosy people to ask questions about his new relationship.

Luck seems to be on his side as he reaches the parking lot without any human interaction, dialling his grandmother’s number as soon as he fastens the seatbelt. It’s been a few days since they’ve last talked and he’s missed her sweet voice and words.

Surprisingly, his mother is the one who picks up after three rings. “Hello, Taehyung-ah,” she greets.

“Hi eomma,” Taehyung replies as he drives out of the lot. “Where’s halmeoni? Is she sleeping?”

“No, we’re at the hospital right now actually,” his mother tells him, sending dread flowing through his veins. A hundred terrible scenarios pop into his head and he almost misses the red traffic light in front of him. 

He can hear a slight screech as his car halts. “What? What do you mean she’s in the hospital? Is she alright? Did she faint again? Is she in pain?”

He’s heaving by the time he’s done with the onslaught of questions and his sweater feels stuffy even in the airconditioned car. 

“Sweetheart, your grandmother is absolutely alright,” she reassures him in a soothing voice and Taehyung closes his eyes for a second to compose himself. A honk from the back startles him again and he realises the light has turned to green. “She had some back and knee pain and decided it was time to start her treatment.”

Taehyung’s ears perk up. “Treatment? But I thought halmeoni was against anything like that?”

“She was against chemotherapy,” his mother corrects him. “She thought it was pointless since it was too painful and her time is limited anyway.” The reminder sends an arrow of pain through his heart. “This treatment is just some tablets and injections that will reduce her bone pain and control her hypercalcemia. It’ll not make a great impact as a whole but will make her life a little more manageable for the next few months.”

Taehyung doesn’t recognise the medical term but as long as his grandmother lives a little easier, he’s content. 

“She’s in there right now getting her injection after which the doctor will check her vitals and cancer cell development.” 

Taehyung takes a long, shuddering breath. It’s okay. His grandmother is okay. Everything is going to be alright. 

Except it’s not, and all Taehyung can do is watch the pain and suffering with his hands tied.

“I saw your engagement announcement this morning,” his mother says, probably noticing how quiet he’d gotten.

Taehyung laughs, hoping it doesn’t sound awkward. “Ah, yes. Neither of us imagined it would get so popular, if we’re being honest.”

He wasn’t exaggerating by any means. Both he and Jeongguk posted the pictures they’d taken yesterday with cheesy captions about how they’re the luckiest people on the planet and how their love is sealed forever and whatnot. Taehyung almost barfed after posting the picture with Jeongguk kissing his cheek.

It was incredible seeing the 1M likes and about ten thousand comments in just an hour of his posting, something that even their managers hadn’t predicted. The impact that two men engaged to each other in a country like South Korea had on the rest of the world was incredible and Taehyung’s heart broke a little seeing a lot of people commenting how their bravery to showcase their love to the whole world made them a little braver too.

Taehyung, who suffered immensely after coming out, knew the importance of finding the courage to finally be proud of who you are, without thinking of what anybody might think or react. He’s incredibly happy that he helped people to do the same, even if it's just a little, but he hates that it’s based on lies. What might happen when the two decide to break it off? What if people get attached to their relationship?

“Taehyung? You there?” his mother’s voice echoes through the speakers and he realises he’s been driving with muscle memory this whole time and has somehow reached the parking of his apartment building.

“Yes, yes– I was just driving. Sorry eomma.” He rubs his face. Perhaps he needs some sleep. “I saw halmeoni’s comment underneath my post,” he laughs, his first genuine one since this morning. “Who taught her what couple goals means?” 

His mother laughs in reply and it feels good to hear that sound. “Well, you know how your halmeoni is. Only her body got older, her spirit will always remain young.” There’s some whispering and shuffling in the background. “I’ve got to go now, Taehyung-ah. She is almost done with the checkup.”

He unbuckles his seatbelt and disconnects his phone from the car. “Of course, eomma. Let me know what the doctor says.”

His mother hangs up after a goodbye and Taehyung rests his head against the steering wheel, the exhaustion from the last few days finally catching up to him. Aside from all the pressure with the fake relationship, his label has also been asking him about his album non-stop, given how they aim to release it around September, which is in a mere 6 months. Taehyung has no idea how he’s supposed to juggle everything, he’s literally just a guy in his mid-twenties.

He walks towards the lift with a tired sigh, nodding in greeting to their receptionist after typing in his building code. A man with a Labrador Retriever is waiting for the lift when he stands in front of it. The dog wags his tail and approaches him when he smiles at him and Taehyung is more than happy to indulge him with a few pats on the head and scratches behind his ear.

Maybe he should get a dog , he thinks as he waves goodbye to the adorable animal. His apartment might feel less lonely whenever he comes back to it.

His phone beeps the second he steps into his apartment and he makes a face when he sees who it is from. 

speeding ticket

hey

i’m free thursday for our date

reserve a table and we’ll meet there

make sure to pick someplace good

if you can manage to

Taehyung groans and almost throws his phone away in annoyance. Does this man think he’s five years old? 

He takes off his shoes and slumps on his bed, not even bothering to change. He has a reservation to make, an album to plan and a grandma to worry about. But all these things start mattering less as he slowly drifts away to sleep, leaving all his problems behind.

♬♬♬

Taehyung tries to pass the time as he waits for Jeongguk’s arrival. His hands play with a loose thread on his suit jacket distractingly as he surveys the people walking past him in the busy street. A guy standing on the wall opposite his stares at him for a moment too long and Taehyung adjusts his mask on reflex, hoping he’s not recognised.

A cool breeze ruffles his hair. Spring hints at its arrival and it makes him nervous. March has just begun which means he’s in a contractually obligated relationship with Jeongguk until December. The month seems so far away in comparison and Taehyung is dreading the whole thing. 

He’s had a terrible day and his mood has been sour since morning, when he received a call from his mother updating him about his grandmother’s condition. As expected, her health is deteriorating rapidly and every body movement pains her more and more each passing day. Taehyung feels helpless, even though he knows not even the best team of doctors can nurse his grandmother back to health.

It was bound to happen, Taehyung-ah, his grandmother’s voice echoes in his head. Everything is going to be just fine. 

He clings to it like a lifeline.

Death is inevitable, Taehyung knows that, but it’s different when the person close to dying is so dearto you. Logic flies out and all he can do is hope that he gets one extra day, one hour, one minute more with his grandmother. Just to cherish their time, just so it isn’t so painful. 

That’s all Taehyung asks for. 

A figure suddenly stands in front of his vision, blocking the streetlight in front of Taehyung and darkening his surroundings for a moment. His eyes flick up to the familiar doe eyes belonging to the person he was supposed to meet tonight and his eyebrows furrow automatically. His annoyance multiples by a million. 

“If you were one more minute late I would’ve already left–” his complaint gets cut off by Jeongguk’s body engulfing his, a hint of heat radiating through the layer of clothes. A gasp leaves Taehyung’s lips as he feels his arms wrap around his waist tightly. 

He feels a little dizzy all of a sudden, from how tight the grip is or how he seems to be drowning in Jeongguk’s cologne, he doesn’t know. It’s heady, intense, warm and all-consuming. 

He feels Jeongguk’s cold lips press against the apples of his cheeks. “I think someone followed me the entire way,” he whispers against his skin, sparking electricity inside of him. Taehyung’s arms circle his neck as he tries to get into the role. “So save your yapping for the actual dinner.”

He sounds irritated already and the dinner hasn’t started yet. Just great.

Taehyung pulls back from the hug with a smile on his face that he hopes is considered sweet. “Of course,” he says, his voice just as sweet in case anyone around them is listening to their conversation. What he really wants to do is stomp down on Jeongguk’s foot and run home. “Shall we go in?”

Jeongguk smiles back at him and offers his arm for Taehyung to hold, which he does, the swish of their jackets against each other drowning in the sounds of the night. They walk toward the lit entrance of the restaurant, Jeongguk opening the door for the two of them.

Taehyung watches him study the place for a moment before he scrunches his nose. “I can’t believe you brought me to a French restaurant.” 

The singer raises his eyebrows. “What’s wrong with it? I’ve been here many times before and their food is of great quality.”

Jeongguk doesn’t look like he believes him. “I don’t think any amount of Michelin stars can make French food appetising for me.”

Taehyung cocks his head. How does Jeongguk manage to find a fault in everything? “Well, there’s nothing wrong with that cuisine. On the contrary, I find it quite delectable.”

Jeongguk snickers mockingly. “Yeah, no. I prefer my food with a little more taste and a little less snails.”

Taehyung sighs, about to lecture him that the entire country of France does not consume only Escargos every single day of their life when the arrival of the maitre’d interrupts him. Taehyung recognises him from his previous visits and smiles. “Hello, there. A table for two for Kim?”

The man bows his head with a smile. “It’s nice to have you back here, Kim-ssi.” He glances at Jeongguk for a second and smiles again.

“Ah, yes. This is Jeon Jeongguk, my fiance,” he gushes, gripping the arm around Jeongguk’s a little tighter as he lets out a little chuckle that sounds a little forced. He feels Jeongguk stiffen next to him.

The maitre’d doesn’t seem to notice. He beams at the two, eyeing their conjoined arms as he and Jeongguk bow in greeting. “Congratulations on your engagement, you two. And I wish you the best of luck for your future.”

The mention of a future with Jeongguk in it twists Taehyung’s stomach into a queasy knot. He needs to get seated as soon as possible so he can distance himself from his fiance and finally get to breathe. 

Jeongguk reads his mind. “Thank you.” He flashes him a charming smile. “May we be directed to our seats now?” 

“Why, yes, of course! Please follow me.”

The maitre’d leads them to a table that’s thankfully in one of the corners of the restaurant and  secluded from the rest. Thankfully, none of the other patrons here can listen to their conversations which will no doubt spiral into an argument. But then, his heart sinks a little when he notices the huge window right next to their table, giving anyone nosy a perfect view of every single one of their moments. 

He purses his lips as he turns towards the man. “Um, is it alright if we can get a table that’s not next to a window? You know, for privacy reasons.”

He watches the man’s face fall as he takes a look around the nearly full restaurant. “I’m sorry, Kim-ssi but I’m afraid I can’t manage to find you another table since all are reserved at the moment. In case any other couple is willing to exchange their place with yours, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

Taehyung shakes his head with a little smile. “That’s alright. I appreciate your help.”

The two take a seat once the maitre’d takes his leave. Taehyung hangs his coat on the back of his chair and adjusts his white shirt under his muted orange jacket. His hands smooth his matching pants down and he tries to busy himself with doing something, anything other than staring at Jeongguk seated opposite him in awkward silence. 

The two had conveniently forgotten that being in a fake relationship meant going on dates to fool the media, and going on dates meant spending more than 10 minutes with only each other to entertain. So in the midst of everything going on, Taehyung forgot to think of things to say to Jeongguk, meaningless topics that wouldn’t irritate the guy too much but at least make this day somewhat bearable. Instead, he just looks around the place. 

The restaurant they’re in is truly one of his favourites not just because of the food, but also because of how welcome its atmosphere is. The tables are scattered equidistant from each other, pristine cream tablecloths decorating them. A lamp shining pale yellow light hangs above each and slow jazz music plays through the speakers. The people around pay no need to them, too engrossed in their food or conversations. He wonders what Jeongguk thinks of the place.

He sneaks a look at his pretend fiance and sees him equally uncomfortable, staring outside the window with his spine painfully straight. He dons a simple all-black outfit today, a turtleneck tucked in his trousers, his coat draped on the side of his chair. His hair is neatly styled with some kind of gel and parted in the middle. He wears only one hoop in each ear today.

Taehyung doesn’t realise he’s staring at him until his head turns and their gazes meet. Amusement swims in his eyes when Taehyung quickly looks away with an awkward cough. He wants to punch the smug look off his face. 

A waiter greets them with two menus in hand, handing them out with a smile. “Welcome to Chez Amour, can I get you something to drink?” he asks, a pen and notebook in hand. 

“A mojito for me please and,” he looks at Jeongguk expectantly who nods at the waiter. 

“A glass of your oldest bourbon for me.”

After taking their orders the young man leaves, silence blanketing them once more. Fuck, they’re supposed to pretend to be in love and whatnot but here they are, sitting at the same table yet not sparing one glance at each other. There might be reporters and paps hiding in plain sight amongst the crowd right outside and they’re giving them absolutely nothing.

He needs to switch it up before someone notices something.

The fingers on his right hand flex under the table a couple of times before he brings it onto the table and tries to intertwine his fingers with Jeongguk’s. Keyword being tries .

As soon as the tips of Taehyung’s fingers touch his hand, Jeongguk withdraws it immediately as if burnt. The singer is too stunned to react but feels his cheeks warm up in the embarrassment of rejection.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hisses at the other, who just now has seemed to realise what Taehyung was aiming for. A guilty expression flashes across his face for a millisecond before it disappears.

“You could’ve given me a warning, you know,” he mumbles in his defence, pissing Taehyung off.

“A warning to hold your hand while we’re on a fucking date ?” he almost spits out, forehead creased.

Jeongguk looks at him sourly. “Can you just— can you not call it that?”

Taehyung lets out a mocking chuckle. “What? A date?” he crosses his arms. “Quit being a child, Jeongguk. Coming to a fancy restaurant with you, all dressed up on a weekday isn’t really my preference either but at least I’m not whining and bitching about it every two seconds!” He sees Jeongguk flick his gaze sideways and thinks he’s probably being a little loud at the moment. But the anger and frustration in him since the day started and the surge of regret flowing through him for actually agreeing to any of this hits him all at once and he doesn’t think he possesses a single rational thought anymore.

He’s done . It’s one thing for them to not get along but it’s something else entirely having Jeongguk shit on every effort Taehyung has made tonight.

“We signed a contract two days ago and it already feels so fucking one-sided. All you have done this entire night is come ten minutes late, complained about every little thing and acted like a goddamn child. And when I initiate physical contact you say I should’ve warned you first? Are you serious? Whether you like it or not, we’re on a damn date!”

Taehyung sees Jeongguk’s jaw tighten as he cocks his head. “ I’m the one bitching about everything? All you do is complain about every single detail in our story and our contractual terms and start petty arguments with me, just like you’re doing right now.” He points out, stabbing a finger into the surface of the table. His face is so set in anger that it’s genuinely intimidating. “So what if I asked you to give me a warning first? So what if I came 10 minutes late? It’s not a fucking big deal Taehyung! The world didn’t end but neither did your whining. Why does everything feel like a chore whenever I’m with you? Why are you so fucking insufferable?”

The conversation goes silent.

Taehyung feels the familiar pricking behind his eyes and oh no. Oh, no no no no. He’s not crying  here, he’s not crying when there are cameras perched outside their window, he’s not crying because Jeongguk said those harsh words to him.

It’s been a long week and Taehyung has had to deal with a lot of bullshit so far but he’s not crying. 

He closes his eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths. 

In, out. In, out. 

Jeongguk is an asshole and none of the things he says matter cause he doesn’t matter.

In, out. In, out.

Taehyung opens his eyes to see Jeongguk staring at him, his jaw still rigid but his eyes a little softer than before. He clears his clogged throat before he speaks, his tone overly formal. “I’ve had a long, tiring day and my emotions aren’t at their best right now.” He takes a shaky breath. “I would really appreciate it if we could schedule this at  a time when we’re both in the right state of mind.”

Because this simply won’t work if their fuses are this short. Taehyung can only handle so much before he screams out in frustration which is, no doubt, a bad look for their relationship. 

Jeongguk listens to him without a change in his expression. He clicks his tongue but raises his arms in surrender. “Whatever you want, Taehyung. But our managers won’t be happy.”

Fuck our managers , Taehyung thinks bitterly. They can date you instead, if they’d like.

“It’s fine. Seokjin hyung is weak for my puppy eyes, he won’t be mad for long.”

Jeongguk doesn’t reply and chooses to look out the window instead. His arms are crossed over his chest and his expression is unreadable. Taehyung wishes it wasn’t, that he could feel utter satisfaction seeing regret or sadness or anything in those soulless eyes but no, he gets absolutely nothing from Jeon Jeongguk. Once again. 

His silence suits Taehyung perfectly fine and he grabs his coat and wallet, ready to leave just as the waiter brings them their drinks. He gives the young man an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, but something came up. You can take this back—”

“There’s no need,” Jeongguk’s voice interrupts him. He turns to face them again and Taehyung can suddenly see the sunken eyes and tired expression on his face. He ignores it. “You can leave them both here.”

Taehyung wonders how someone could mix drinks like mojito and bourbon together but he doesn’t find it in himself enough to care. 

The waiter glances between the two of them before doing as he’s told and leaving. Taehyung stares at the two drinks on the table and how starkly different they are. Can these two really mix to create something good? Or will Jeongguk drink them one after the other? How will that taste? Won’t  he get sick from that?

“Why are you still here, precious?” Jeongguk snickers tauntingly before grabbing the glass of bourbon and drinking it all in one go. Taehyung almost gasps, having seen its price on the menu. Did Jeongguk gulp that expensive drink in one go? Doesn’t that burn? “Don’t you have that important thing to do?”

Right. It’s not Taehyung’s business. Jeongguk will never be Taehyung’s business.

“Goodbye, Jeongguk,” is all Taehyung answers before he starts walking out, knowing how much of a big mistake he’s making. 

Not only did they do nothing even close to romantic the entire time they were there, they also ended the date early and left separately. 

Taehyung genuinely hopes there are no paparazzi waiting for them outside tonight but he knows harbouring that hope is useless. He sighs as he walks towards the parking space and unlocks his car. Whatever they’ll write, Seokjin will take care of it. He always does.

♬♬♬

“I’m definitely not taking care of whatever the fuck this is,” Seokjin speaks, his tight, high-strung voice portraying how angry he’s feeling at that moment.

He almost bangs his precious iPad on the table making Taehyung and Jeongguk flinch. 

A collage of all the articles reporting their disastrous public first date is on its screen. Guilt fills Taehyung’s chest heavily and he gulps. No matter how many times he denies it or cooks up excuses, he knew in his heart of hearts this would happen. 

He just didn’t expect it to be this bad.

“Koreaboo, Soompi, Dispatch, Pannchoa and even fucking TMZ have written numerous articles about how bad your first public appearance as a couple was,” Namjoon seethes, his arms bulging as he crosses them. “The pictures are crystal clear and they show how unhappy and uncomfortable you two were the entire time.”

Taehyung saw the articles first thing in the morning, even before he received his manager’s call demanding he be in his office immediately. Unlike the photo of them kissing, these ones were perfectly clear, taken from the opposite side of the street. Pictures of them sitting awkwardly, refusing to look at each other, their frowns and their hard pressed mouths showing their irritation and even a perfectly captured shot of Jeongguk withdrawing his hand when Taehyung tried to hold it. 

“So many users on gossip blogs and social media are speculating how you two have gone back to your old ways or if the relationship wasn’t real in the first place.” Seokjin gently massages his temple and tries to even his voice out.

“The whole point of a PR relationship is to hide the truth from the general public while you gain fans and fame from both sides. Tell me, how much favour did you gain from last night?”

Nothing. They gained only criticism from last night’s shenanigans and their follower count dropped drastically overnight. He’s pretty sure even his most loyal fans are confused or mad at the moment. Not that he can blame them.

Taehyung’s gaze stays down, unable to speak a word in his defence. He hears Jeongguk sigh next to him. “Hyung, it's not a big deal. We can do some good damage control, maybe post another picture or tweet something–”

“Do you think it’s that damn easy to manipulate these many people?” Namjoon’s voice booms through the room and Taehyung has to suppress the urge to flinch. “You should be the last person speaking, Jeongguk. Making Taehyung wait outside the restaurant for so long, irritable from the start and flinching whenever he touches you? Do you know how much damage you have caused?” he demands, staring at the two of them. “How much damage you both have caused?”

Taehyung feels his throat clog from guilt and he tries to clear it before speaking. “Hyungs, we’re both truly sorry about what happened yesterday. We were both in a bad mood but we shouldn’t have let it affect our date. It caused more harm than good and defeated the purpose of this relationship in the first place.”

He glances at Jeongguk who already looks at him with that frustratingly unreadable expression. “We’ll do better next time, won’t we?”

Jeongguk gives him a nod. He turns to their managers. “I’m sorry too. I promise to take this seriously from now on. We both do.”

The two managers share a look before letting out a collective sigh. “You better,” Seokjin says, sounding drained.

Namjoon runs a hand through his hair. “Now, for the damage control. Wait for a day or two and then one of you post a picture of two dinner plates or coffee cups and tag the other. Don’t put any caption, don’t pass a single comment on those articles and speculations. No need for you both to meet for a few days, either.”

Taehyung almost lets out a relieved sigh. It’s exactly what the two need to calm down and clearly think over how to approach this situation again.

“Then after a week or so, both of you go on another date. Pick a simple location, preferably with low access or dim lighting. Do something that the both of you might enjoy so you can concentrate on that rather than snap at each other's throats every two seconds.” Seokjin continues, the two perfectly in sync. “And please, for the love of God, try to remain civil. I know acting like being in love is somehow the most difficult task in the world for the two of you but at least pretend that you can bear each other’s presence for more than one minute.”

He takes a seat and buries his face in his palms for a moment. “I’m not teaching you how to behave and conversate normally with another person so figure that shit out for yourself.” He faces them again, eyes stern. “Clear?”

“Crystal,” Jeongguk replies, Taehyung nodding in agreement.

“Great, now you two get out of here, we two have to spend the night here thinking about how to save your sorry asses.”

After their managers shoo them out, Taehyung finds himself walking down the company hallway with Jeongguk, their fingers loosely intertwined together. Silence reigns between them, enough to hear the gasps and murmurs of the people they pass on their way to their cars. Seeing them holding hands in person when they’d been on the news for constantly arguing and fighting for the past two years must be unbelievable. It sure is for him.

Once they reach their cars parked next to each other, they let go of their conjoined hands. 

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung stops him as he’s getting inside his car. Jeongguk turns to him but doesn’t speak. “We need to do something. Our managers have been working hard day and night just for us.”

Jeongguk nods. “We’ll do better next time, Taehyung. For them, at least.”

Taehyung nods back before getting in his car and shutting the door. As he watches Jeongguk drive away first he lets out a tired groan. Yesterday was truly disastrous. 

It’s one of the pivotal rules of show business that if you receive a certain amount of love, it won’t take even a second for the tables to turn on you. One small mistake and the hate you receive is double and potentially career-threatening. Taehyung truly hopes it hasn’t reached to that point.

It’ll be fine, he reassures himself as he drives towards his childhood home to meet his grandmother. One mishap can’t ruin this entire thing. He won’t let it. 

Taehyung and Jeongguk will be South Korea’s main couple in just a couple of months and he’ll personally see to it.

Chapter Text

“Get up, you lazy ass,” Taehyung feels someone shake his body almost violently as he’s snatched away from his precious dream and into his terrible reality. 

A reality where he’s somehow supposed to pretend to be in love with someone who he despises more than anyone just so his career can take off as it deserves to.

He groans into his pillow, covering his ears with its two ends as he tries to fall back to sleep and once more escape his terrible, unfortunate life by flying back to dreamland. Unfortunately for him, his best friend isn’t in the mood for his bullshit as per usual. He feels his blanket yanked off him, exposing his only underwear-clad body to the cold breeze flowing from the open window. 

“Taehyung, I don’t have time for this. Get your ass off this bed and into the shower right now,” he commands, grabbing Taehyung’s pillow as well. 

“When do you ever have time for me?” Taehyung sighs dramatically and moves up and down the silky bedsheets like a worm just to piss the older off even more and to search back for some warmth. Who asked Yoongi to be his personal human alarm for the day, anyway? He’d barely slept for the past two days, tossing and turning in his bed for hours until sleep took pity on him. He deserves those few extra hours of slumber if he is expected to be standing on his two feet for the rest of the day. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Yoongi asks, his tone is monotone but his touch brushing away the matted hair on Taehyung’s forehead is gentle.

“You know what I mean. You barely spend time with me anymore. You’re always holed up in your studio or with Jimin. And believe me, I don’t mind the latter. But the only time you visit me these days is to talk about my album.” He finally opens his eyes and stares at the other who has guilt swimming in his eyes. He sits up, sighing and rubbing his face. “You’re here for the album now too, am I wrong?”

Yoongi pulls his hand back, his eyes boring intensely on Taehyung’s face. Taehyung knows he’s right, with how his best friend purses his lips before answering, a sign that he’s ashamed. 

“You’re right. I’m here to talk about the album this morning,” he admits, and Taehyung frowns. Even though he already had his suspicions, having them proved right wasn’t a great feeling. He pushes off the bed with hurt simmering in his chest and starts walking towards his bathroom when Yoongi’s voice stops him. 

“Taehyung-ah. I’m sorry I haven’t been spending much time with you these days,” he hears him speak, making him halt his steps. Taehyung turns to meet his guilty gaze. “Things have been stressful at work and the only free time I get, I spend with Jimin and it’s not fair to you,” a smile graces his usually stoic face and it makes Taehyung smile too. “Forgive me? I’ll make you a nice breakfast while you get ready and then we talk about everything. What do you say?”

Taehyung’s bottom lip juts out. “Can you make me strawberry pancakes?”

Yoongi nods instantly. “Of course I can. With a little Nutella on top.”

Taehyung is already sold but he indulges in the attention a bit more. “And no talk about my album?”

“None at all. I’ll call you later tonight for that.”

Taehyung’s lips stretch into a wide smile as he nods and skips to his bathroom, not missing Yoongi’s little chuckle as he walks to the kitchen to prepare his apology breakfast.

Taehyung comes out of the shower twenty minutes later, a towel in his hand drying his dripping hair. He sniffs the air and hums appreciatively, prompting Yoongi to glance back at him as he flips a pancake onto a plate.

“Are you almost done? Do you want help?” Taehyung asks as he takes a seat at his small breakfast table for two, adjusting on the tiny, raised chair. 

Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head as he spreads the Nutella. “You and I both know you have no intention of helping me.”

Taehyung simply flashes him a grin in reply, amused by how much his best friend knows him. 

He waits patiently as Yoongi finishes up with decorating the pancakes before setting the plate in front of him along with a glass of strawberry milkshake. “Wow, you’re really feeling sorry today,” Taehyung smiles as he brings the glass and plate closer to him and delivers a flying kiss to the chef. 

Yoongi lightly smacks his head as he seats himself next to Taehyung. “Just be grateful, you brat.”

Taehyung sticks his tongue out at him before taking a bite of the sugary delight and letting out an appreciative noise. “This is really good hyung. Thank you,” he says with his mouth full, stuffing another bite like an ill-mannered five year old.

He and Yoongi have been best friends since they were five and seven so Taehyung has stopped giving a fuck about how he acts in front of him. After living a life constantly surrounded by gawking eyes and focused cameras, times like these, when he’s eating breakfast while swinging his legs with his best friend makes even the simplest of moments make him feel special and vulnerable. Almost like he can finally be himself. 

“You’re very welcome,” Yoongi says, a small fond smile on his smile as he watches Taehyung eat. “Now tell me, what do you want to talk about?”

Honestly, the thought of rehashing the past few days with such a free and relaxing environment right now sounds extremely unappealing.

He shrugs as he swallows. “I don’t know, how are things with Jiminie?” He grabs the glass and takes a gulp of his milkshake.

“I’m planning to ask him to marry me.”

The pink liquid gets stuck down Taehyung’s throat as he tries to absorb the words he just heard. 

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks him, voice half concerned and half amused.

Taehyung splutters, eyes red as he glares at him. “Am I okay ? You just told me you’re about to fucking propose !”

Yoongi watches his coughing fit in silence. “Why? Is that so hard to imagine?” he asks him when Taehyung seems to have calmed down a little. 

Taehyung clears his throat one last time and shakes his head. “You know that’s not what I meant, hyung,” he rolls his eyes as he cuts a piece of his pancake. “I was just taken by surprise, that’s all. But are you really thinking of asking Jimin the question?”

Yoongi nods and Taehyung lets out a happy squeal, hopping off his high chair to wrap his arms around his best friend, who accepts the hug while grumbling. “I’m so happy for you, hyung,” he whispers and feels Yoongi’s smile on his shoulder. “It was about damn time.”

“Now come on, I haven’t even popped the question yet,” he says, pulling back from the hug with the smile still on his face. “I’m still thinking about it.”

“Oh, but you will very soon,” Taehyung waves him off, sitting back on his chair. “You and Jimin hyung love each other so much, it’s the obvious next step.”

Yoongi eyes him carefully. “Really? You don’t think it’s too soon?”

Taehyung shakes his head as he chews. “Of course not. You both are old enough and have been together forever. I don’t even remember the time you and Jimin weren’t dating.” 

Taehyung wasn’t exaggerating. He remembers the first time Yoongi mentioned Jimin back when they were all still in high school, a boy he met at the club where he was training as a DJ. Yoongi said the moment he saw Jimin dancing in the middle of the dance floor, his body fluidly moving along to his hottest mix, he knew his eyes didn’t want to look at anyone else for the rest of his life.

Taehyung thought that was the most romantic thing he ever heard from a 17 year old. It was no surprise that they started dating shortly after that and have been inseparable since. 

He suddenly thinks of what Jeongguk had said to his father back in the car. “When you know, you just know,” he tells Yoongi. Who would’ve thought he’d be quoting that asshole? “You want to be him for the rest of your life and you’re just making sure of it with a ring. There’s nothing too soon about it.”

Yoongi gives him a small smile. “When did you get so wise, hmm?” he asks fondly, ruffling Taehyung’s damp hair. 

“I’ve always been wise,” Taehyung shrugs with a grin. “You just never realised it because you’re too busy spending time with your boyfriend– or should I say fiance?”

Yoongi clicks his tongue. “He’s not my fiance,” he chides gently, shaking his head. 

Taehyung laughs. “Not yet,” he teases, feeling giddy. He truly is so happy for his best friend. He doesn’t think anyone will ever love Yoongi more than Jimin. Those two belong together in every way, shape or form. Like two warm hands conjoining on a cold autumn day. A small part of him wishes that for himself too but he knows it’s futile. So he just shrugs the envious feeling off of him and buries it in the deepest part of his heart.

“Speaking of fiance,” Yoongi replies in an equally teasing tone, and Taehyung already knows where the conversation is heading off to. “I heard you had a very lovely date with yours.”

Taehyung groans, burying his face in his palms. Even thinking about the disaster of a date makes his cheeks warm up with embarrassment. “Don’t remind me,” he says, shaking his head and wishing he could forget it even happened. “I don’t think I've ever seen Seokjin hyung more disappointed in or mad at me.”

“He’ll get over it, don't worry,” Yoongi reassures him, amused. “He’s weak for you and your pleading eyes.”

“He already has,” Taehyung giggles, sipping his shake. He then lets out a sigh. “It’s just– I don’t know how to do this, hyung. This whole thing seems impossible after the fiasco.”

Sometimes it feels like Jeongguk and him are incapable of ever getting along. As if it will always be like this, even when this stupid contract finishes and they get to part ways. 

Yoongi stays quiet for a moment before replying. “Well Taehyung, I know you won’t like my suggestion, but you really need to talk to Jeongguk about all of this. This childish fighting has been going on for too long.”

Taehyung makes a face at him but he knows he can’t defend himself. Yoongi is right, of course, he just doesn’t want to admit it.

“How did it start, anyway? I think you two have been fighting since the moment you met. What went wrong?”

Taehyung clearly remembers the day he met Jeongguk two years ago. Jimin said that it was time that he finally met his best friend Gukkie, someone who he had heard so much about over the years, so they could all just start hanging out together as a quartet. But the moment Jeongguk appeared in front of him, Taehyung recognised him and not for a good reason. There’s no way he could manage even a cordial hello with a person like that.

Taehyung sighs, not in the mood to explain. But he knows he has no choice when Yoongi gives him the look that says he’s not in the mood to take no for an answer. 

“Do you remember my ex-boyfriend Leehan?” he starts, staring at his half-eaten plate. 

Yoongi’s expression immediately sours upon hearing his name. “Yes, I do, unfortunately.”

Taehyung snorts. “During the time we were dating, he came home one night with his nose bloodied and bandaged and his upper lip cut and swollen. Apparently, Jeongguk had done that to him.” 

Yoongi’s eyebrow shoots up in response. “Jeongguk? As in Jimin’s Jeonggukie? Yeah, that’s impossible–” Taehyung watches him pause, realisation setting on his face. “When was this?”

“Almost three years ago,” Taehyung replies and Yoongi’s face turns solemn. 

“Ah, so it was Leehan that Jeongguk had an argument with all those years ago. That incident almost ended his damn career before it began.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Hyung, it wasn’t an argument. Jeongguk had almost beat his face to a pulp.” The absolute shock that consumed his body when he saw his boyfriend, the love of his life at the time, with a face so swollen he looked like a melon was terrifying. 

“It’s not like Leehan didn’t deserve it,” Yoongi mumbles and Taehyung curbs the urge to sigh. 

Leehan was one of his first serious boyfriends, someone who he imagined he’d spend the rest of his life with at age 20. Unfortunately, his dreams were shattered to pieces when he found three contacts in his boyfriend’s phone asking him about their next hookup. It took him almost a year to get over the guy and everything that they’d built so even if he understands Yoongi’s sentiments about the guy, he doesn’t appreciate Jeongguk punching his then-boyfriend for no reason.

“That’s not the point and you know it. Leehan said he’d never spoken a word to Jeongguk before he interrupted his conversation with his friends and started an argument for some reason which escalated to a fistfight.” He rubs his face. “No matter how much of an asshole Leehan was, he was not aggressive and even you know that. I’m sure there must have been zero reasons for Jeongguk to resort to violence but he did. And I just can’t stand people like that, thinking that they own the world cause their parents are hotshots or they’re some prodigy in making.”

Yoongi answers after a beat of silence. “Did you personally talk to Jeongguk about it? Clear out what happened that night?”

Taehyung opens his mouth only to close it again. Ask Jeongguk out of all people? Why would he do that? He already knows a jist of what happened that night and it’s enough for him to know Jeongguk is simply bad news. 

“Do you really think you can trust Leehan’s recount of what happened?” He asks when he sees Taehyung’s conflicted face. “He’s not the most honest person in the room, you know?”

Taehyung stays quiet, unsure of how to reply. Yoongi has a point, of course. He only knows the story from his trashy, lying ex-boyfriend’s point of view so how reliable was it, really? His heart thuds faster. Could he have misunderstood the events of that night or simply been lied to? Should he talk to Jeongguk about this?

He remembers his relationship with Jeongguk over the years, the harsh words they’ve shared and how he’s seen Jeongguk truly be the person Leehan had described that night: selfish, arrogant and unbearable. The number of times Jeongguk had acted out or started nonsensical fights were infinite so it’s not like Taehyung’s suspicions stem from nothing. Jeongguk has proved time and time again over the years how terrible and insufferable he can be. 

I  don’t care about what occurred between Jeongguk and Leehan , he decides. Jeongguk has given him plenty of reasons to harbour all that hate for him. There being a mysterious justification for assaulting his boyfriend wouldn’t change anything. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he shrugs off, finishing the last of his pancake with a smack of his lips. “Jeongguk has given me enough evidence all these years to back up Leehan’s description of him, no matter how much of a douchebag he was.”

Yoongi’s expression is defeated as he clicks his tongue. “Alright,” he says, raising his hands in surrender. “But Jimin and I both think you would gel really well together if you two just keep your childish enmity aside for one day and talk about your problems.”

“No thank you,” he shudders, drinking his milkshake. “There’s no need for any gelling between Jeongguk and I. We’ve decided to be cordial in front of the cameras on our dates and that’s enough for the both of us.”

♬♬♬

Taehyung hums along to the song on the radio as Jeongguk drives them to their destination for the night. The car ride has been silent for the most part; only the sounds of the indicators and low music out of the speakers surround them ever since Jeongguk picked him up for their date. 

A mixture of nerves and anticipation churns in Taehyung’s stomach as the city blurs past him. This is probably their last chance to fix things up with the media and the weight of it hangs over their heads the entire ride. 

Should he strike up a conversation so they can warm up a little before showtime? He glances to the driver’s seat where Jeongguk steers the wheel with one hand, his head resting on the other hand’s fist. He didn’t particularly seem in a bad mood when he met him earlier but who knows how fast this psycho’s mood might change? For all Taehyung knows, simply seeing him might put Jeongguk in a terrible mood. 

Nevermind. He’s not disturbing the peace that they’ve established in exchange for some awkward small talk.

He busies himself by playing with the long brown scarf tied around his neck and looking out of the window until they reach their destination, occasionally looking outside the window like he’s the sexy lead in an imaginary music video. Jeongguk had told him he was picking the destination this time, assuring him that it was going to be something fun, unlike his terribly boring French restaurant date. Taehyung rolled his eyes so hard back then he could almost see the inside of his sockets. He was instructed to dress casually and now he’s curious to know what Jeongguk’s idea of fun is.

The moment he sees the glaring neon sign that says bowling in block letters with the letter W flickering, he knows he’s doomed. 

He gets out of the car, eyeing the sign warily as if it personally insulted his ancestors. Jeongguk must’ve seen his expression because he stands next to him, already exasperated. “You got a problem with bowling too, precious?” he asks, obviously baiting him for an argument. 

Taehyung isn’t taking it this time.

He shakes his head, giving him a tight-lipped smile, trying to get into the role. “Of course not. I’m so excited for tonight! It’s the perfect place for a date.”

Jeongguk studies him with a raised eyebrow, his piercing glinting with the bright lights surrounding them. “No but seriously, do you have a problem with this place?” he asks.

Taehyung is shocked, to say the least. Does Jeongguk truly care about his preferences? Does he really want to know–

“Let me know now so I can save myself from your incessant whining beforehand.”

And… there it is. Taehyung is foolish to think Jeongguk actually gives a fuck about anyone but his selfish, arrogant self. 

He curbs the urge to start complaining just to piss him off and simply shakes his head. “I mean it. It’s not bad.”

The racer stares for another moment before extending his hand for Taehyung to take, who hesitates for a second before interlacing their fingers together. 

Taehyung fucking hates the warmth that spreads from the tip of his fingers to the inside of his chest when their hands meet.

Jeongguk leads them inside the bowling place and they are instantly greeted by the sound of generic viral TikTok music blasting through the speakers and mixing in with the loud chatter of the kids and teenagers yelling and cheering at a volume that is borderline painful. 

Ugh, this is going to be a difficult night to go through.

The place, no matter how much of a nuisance it is, is a good choice for sure. Jeongguk chose the ideal place for a damage control date just as Namjoon had described; someplace with low lighting and blaring sounds and something which they can both enjoy or will at least keep them busy enough to remain civil. Except for one part. Taehyung has never found bowling fun and for one reason only. 

He fucking sucks at that game.

No matter how many times he’s been dragged to bowling alleys as a kid or by Jimin he just can’t get a hang of that game. His ball always ends up pathetically in the gutter before it can hit one single pin and it’s always a little embarrassing how terrible he is at it. But today? Today the embarrassment will be doubly horrible, knowing that Jeongguk is here with him. Jeongguk, who hates him and has never shied away from mocking and belittling him. Taehyung knows that after tonight he’s never hearing the end of his terrible abilities for this activity.

He just hopes that Jeongguk is equally terrible at bowling. 

Jeongguk pays for two rounds of bowling and ignores Taehyung’s protests to split the costs, smiling at the young guy working as the cashier who is definitely starstruck upon seeing the F1 racer. The moment the two leave, Taehyung sneaks a look at the cash counter and sees the boy hurriedly typing something on his phone and feels satisfied. Hopefully, the guy posts about their arrival on social media and at least a couple of reporters are notified.

“Would you like something to eat or drink?” Jeongguk asks as they’re about to collect their bowling shoes. 

Taehyung nods as they stand in line. “Yes, but I’ll pay for that. What would you like?”

Jeongguk opens his mouth to protest but closes it a second later. “Fries and a beer, please.”

Taehyung gives him a little smile. “Alright, wait for me at our assigned alley. My shoe size is 270, by the way,” he says, forcing himself to kiss Jeongguk’s cheek quickly before leaving. Who knows who might be watching them or if the reporters have already arrived?

Seokjin had warned them that there was no way any media outlet would want to miss their second public outing, especially after their disastrous first one so they should be on high alert at all times. 

He walks towards the little food stall that is thankfully customer-free at the moment and greets one of the two employees, who definitely recognises him if the way she drops the glass of cola she was filling is anything to go by. “Hey there,” he smiles awkwardly as he stares at him wide-eyed. “I was wondering if I could have two medium fries, one beer and one bottle of water, please.”

The girl lets out a squeaky “Of course!” before quickly getting to work, the other employee squealing a little when she notices him. 

He waits for his order while he internally groans about the chaos around him. Normally he avoids public spaces like these and prefers private or VIP bars, clubs and recreational centres or else he won’t be able to enjoy his private time out. Even now, as he sees the two employees whispering and building up the courage to talk to him, he’s sure that they’ll ask him for a picture or his autograph sooner or later. And no matter how much he hates being disturbed when he’s out having fun, Namjoon had instructed them to interact with fans as much as possible to gather evidence that they were at the bowling place together. The more people notice them, the more they’ll click Taehyung and Jeongguk’s pictures while they pretend to be all clingy and in love. 

He chews on the nail of his thumb as he tries to form a game plan. What can they both do that will not only catch the attention of the paps and public around them but also correct the damage they caused last time?

You have to kiss him , the most unhelpful part of his brain supplies. A kiss between you two will break the internet all over again.

He squashes the tiny voice before it can speak some more. He is not going back on his word just for Jeon Jeongguk. 

“Here you go,” the woman whispers nervously, pushing a tray forward. 

He thanks her while he swipes his card to pay and is about to leave when the other employee asks for a picture, just as he predicted. 

By the time he goes back to Jeongguk, the younger looks a little annoyed when he looks up at him, setting the tray in front of their aisle. “What took you so long? Was there a huge line?”

To a person listening, Jeongguk’s question might seem like a concern but for Taehyung, who has  known him for a lot longer, it’s easy to sense the irritation underlying his tone. 

He tries to diffuse the situation by giving him a small smile that he doesn’t mean at all. “Sorry, the two women working there were fans, so I had to spend some time taking pictures and signing their t-shirts.”

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow as he picks a fry from his bowl. “Their work t-shirts? Won’t they get fired or punished for that?”

Taehyung takes a seat next to him, their thighs touching. “I don’t know,” he shrugs. “At least they didn’t ask me to sign their boobs or something.”

Jeongguk laughs, and it feels genuine. Taehyung’s heart skips a beat. 

“No way someone asked you to sign their boob before.”

Taehyung grins, shaking his head. “I’m so serious. I was your age at that time, recently debuted. My innocence was taken away from me in the blink of an eye,” he sighs dramatically, making Jeongguk chuckle.

Holy shit. Did he just make Jeongguk laugh? Twice ?

Jeongguk seems to have realised that they’re having a civil conversation for the first time in their life because his laughter subsides and his face goes back to the unreadable expression that pisses Taehyung off more than anything. 

“Shall I begin or do you want to?” he asks, jutting his chin towards the intricately set up pins ready to fall. 

“You should go first,” he says, biting a fry. “Show me what you’ve got, Jeon,” he teases with a smirk.

Big mistake. Jeongguk tilts his head as if accepting the challenge, his lips tilting up in his own smirk. Taehyung’s stomach knots up as he sees him roll the sleeves of his black sweater up his forearms, exposing his tattoo sleeve on one hand and a chain bracelet on the other. His eyes darken and his gaze intensifies.

Fuck, he looks so…intimidating. That’s why Taehyung’s heart is running a mile a minute. Because he looks intimidating. Not for any other reason whatsoever. 

“Watch and learn, Kim,” his smirk grows wider and it’s like a punch to Taehyung’s gut.

He watches Jeongguk walk towards the lane and stand in front of the ball rack, tapping the code given to them along with his name. He waits for the balls to appear, grabbing one out of the six when they do. Taehyung is almost transfixed as Jeongguk studies the bowling pins for a couple of moments before bending his body, swinging his arm in a perfect downward arc and letting the ball go.

The ball rolls along the lane with a low rumble and crashes right into the centre pin, sending it and the other pins around it toppling one after the other until only one remains, standing shakily for a second before ultimately falling next to the others.

Oh my god. What the actual fuck?

Of course, Jeongguk is phenomenal at bowling. Of-fucking-course. Taehyung is crazy enough to think otherwise.

Jeongguk turns to him with a smug smile on his face as if he already knew Taehyumg must be burning up from the inside by now. He runs a hand through his hair. “Not too bad, huh?” he mocks, enjoying the look of surprise that is definitely on Taehyung’s face. 

“Whatever,” Taehyung scoffs, folding his hands. “It’s probably a fluke.”

It was definitely not a fluke, Taehyung finds out as Jeongguk repeatedly knocks the pins down almost every time, getting two strikes and two spares by the end of his round. By the time it’s Taehyung’s turn he’s in a terrible mood, knowing how pathetically he’s going to lose in front of Jeongguk and how he’ll never let him forget it. 

Taehyung gets up from the couch chewing his last fry and his fists balled at his sides. He ignores the taunting look Jeongguk throws at him, walks up to the lane and inputs his name. Taking a breath, he grabs one of the balls and tries to get adjusted to its weight. He tries getting a few practice swings in, knowing they’re of no use. He has zero idea of what he’s doing and he’s for sure going to make a fool out of himself.

He lets the ball go and sees it maintain its course in the centre of the lane for a good three seconds before it rolls off to the side and falls right into the gutter. He closes his eyes in shame, anger bubbling in his chest as he hears Jeongguk snicker behind him. Fucker.

“You do know how to bowl, don’t you Taehyungie ?” he teases and Taehyung is about to march back there and knock out all his teeth, paparazzi be damned. 

But the nickname is a stark reminder that they’re both here as a couple and small shows of competitiveness in a relationship are normal. What is not normal, however, is one of them punching his fiance cause he’s a sore loser. He saw a bunch of people around them staring at their interactions and even taking videos and photos so he cannot fuck this up in any manner.

All Taehyung can do is gulp down all of his fury and turn around to smile at his darling with a clenched jaw. “I’m just warming up, Jeonggukie,” he grits out, trying to keep his voice as stable as possible but keeping his eyes filled with venom. 

Jeongguk sees through his act. Of course he does. Only he can recognise the fire burning in Taehyung’s eyes at any moment, given how it’s always directed towards him. 

“Alright, give it one more try,” he grins mockingly, leaning back on the couch with his hands folded. The neon lights of the alley fall on his sweater, the little gems on his chest glittering and making the shape of his biceps clearly visible. 

“I will,” Taehyung retorts weakly as he grabs another ball and tries again, only for the ball to hit only one pin this time before falling into the gutter. 

Taehyung stares at the rest of the pins helplessly, ready to admit defeat and sulk in his seat like a grumpy child, before he hears footsteps walking towards him. “Taehyung,” Jeongguk calls, standing next to him. “Quit being stubborn and just admit you don’t know how to do this.”

Taehyung turns to him and stares. The mockery in Jeongguk’s tone is nowhere to be found and his expression is sort of sincere. “Fine!” he almost shouts, crossing his arms. “You win. I have no idea what I’m doing so I quit,” his bottom lip involuntarily juts out and he hates that he’s sulking in front of Jeongguk.

The racer clearly tries to hide a smile growing on his face as he remains serious. “Now, there’s no need to quit. You want me to teach you?”

Taehyung raises his eyebrows so high he thinks they touch his hairline. “You serious?” he asks suspiciously, searching for any sign of mockery or jest on Jeongguk’s face. He half-expected him to double down in laughter and make a thousand jokes at his expense already so this offer of help is a little hard to believe. Kind gestures are not really Jeongguk’s thing.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes before he catches himself. He steps towards Taehyung with a smile. “Of course I mean it,” he says before moving closer to his ear and whispering, “Come on, Taehyung-ah. You won’t get another chance like this, so make use of it.”

The term of endearment almost runs a shiver down Taehyung’s spine but he collects himself right before Jeongguk can see the effect these stupid actions have on him for some reason.

“Alright,” he concedes, picking up the ball. “Teach me, come on.”

Jeongguk steps back from him but keeps his eyes on the way Taehyung grabs the ball. “You aren’t even holding the ball right,” he sighs before gently holding Taehyung’s right hand and guiding his thumb in the bottom hole, with his ring and middle fingers in the top ones.

Taehyung looks up at him with a sheepish smile. He walks to the lane and fully expects Jeongguk to stand next to him and show him how it’s done but gets the breath knocked out of him when he feels a chest pressed to his back. 

“You alright with this, precious?” Jeongguk whispers in his ear, accelerating Taehyung’s heartbeat and making his thoughts go haywire. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, unsure if Jeongguk heard it through all the commotion.

The sounds around them dim for him as Jeongguk wraps his arm around Taehyung’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer. Taehyung can feel the heat of his body even through his denim jacket and it’s tying his stomach in knots. 

The younger’s other arm wraps around Taehyung’s wrist holding the ball and pulls it back. “Now, move your wrist slightly to your right. Pull your arm back, but not too much. Understood?” he whispered slowly, his warm breath hitting his ear. 

Taehyung takes in a shaky breath as he nods. He can hardly comprehend a word the other is saying as his heady cologne fully engulfs him. The tight grip on his waist makes him a little dizzy. Fuck, Jeongguk is definitely doing this on purpose. 

But what’s bothering Taehyung even more is the way his body wants to go with it. He wants to lean into Jeongguk’s every touch, feel his chest against the muscles in his back, he wants it all with someone who drives him absolutely insane. Shouldn’t he be disgusted?

Jeongguk angles his arm before telling him to let the ball go. Taehyung does, eyes fixed on the ball as he registers that neither he nor Jeongguk move away from their intimate position. The ball rolls perfectly in the centre the entire way until it knocks down the first pin, the other pins following easily. 

Taehyung is about to smile in delight but gulps instead when he feels his lips pressed to his neck. “Well done, Taehyung-ah,” Jeongguk whispers into the skin before moving away from him and almost leaving Taehyung to melt into a puddle.

His heart dangerously threatens to beat out of his chest, his breath comes out short and his back suddenly feels cold.

Those damn paparazzi photos better be fucking good.

♬♬♬

Taehyung is fuming. It’s 10:30 in the morning on a Tuesday and Taehyung is fucking enraged. He thinks he can physically feel the smoke pouring out of his ears as he rams the poor lift button in Jeongguk’s apartment building. He’s pretty sure the security guard wanted to ask him for identification but stopped himself for some reason, be it due to his fiery walk across the lobby or because he recognised him, he doesn’t know.

He repeatedly jams his thumb until the lift arrives and tries to calm himself down once he gets inside. 

Fuck Jeon Jeongguk. Fuck him with every fibre of his being. Everything was perfectly fine until this morning. Last night Seokjin even called to congratulate him on their date’s success on the internet. The pictures of them bowling, eating and Jeongguk hugging him from the back went viral even before they reached home that night and didn’t leave the internet or any social media app for the following two days. 

Taehyung’s followers had shot up once more and his old songs began recharting which he took as a positive sign, meaning that they were doing something right. His manager had told them to keep up the good work and to go on the next public outing as soon as possible to keep the fire burning for as long as they could.

Which is exactly what they were supposed to do before Taehyung got fucking stood up. Left alone in a random cafe for an hour as he sipped his second hot chocolate while checking his phone every two seconds trying to reason with himself as to why Jeongguk would leave him to dry like this without any explanation. 

And then it struck him. Jeongguk would definitely do this because he’s a grade-A asshole. The worst of the worst. 

Did he think Taehyung didn’t have much to do in his day? He had to delay his meeting with his production team just so he and Jeongguk could match their timings and that fucker didn’t even have the courtesy to let him know why he couldn’t make it.

He ultimately had to text Namjoon asking his whereabouts, who profusely apologised when he learnt about the younger’s irresponsible behaviour. Shortly after he sent Jeongguk’s address and the code to his building so Taehyung could confront him. Unleash the beast , the manager told Taehyung, lifting his sour mood even if it was just for a second.

He manages to locate Jeongguk’s door and presses the doorbell once, twice, three times. He hears a loud groan inside the house a minute later and scoffs. How does Jeongguk have the audacity to fucking groan after what the shit he did today? He rings the doorbell repeatedly until the door opens.

“What the actual fuck– oh, it’s you,” Jeongguk says, his eyes squinted as if he just woke up. “Wait, how did you even know the passcode to my building?”

Rage fills Taehyung’s veins as he tries to stop himself from launching at the older. 

“I cannot believe you!” he yells, Jeongguk’s eyebrows immediately knotting. “You fucking stand me up on our date, make me wait at the damn cafe for an hour without a single text explaining your absence, make me drive all the way here to your apartment to see that you have just fucking woken up and the first thing you ask me is how do I know the passcode to your building ?”

For a second, confusion flickers on Jeongguk’s face before it dawns on him. He clenches his eyes shut and lets out a groan again. “Fuck, that was today?” he rubs his face.

Taehyung lets out a laugh. “I cannot fucking believe you right now, Jeongguk. We planned this date three days ago and I told you I had to postpone an important meeting so our timings could match.” He runs a hand through his hair stressfully. “Yet here you are, least bothered. Don’t you possess any shame or consideration for others?”

Jeongguk averts his eyes guiltily. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I went out drinking last night with friends and my alarm didn’t ring–”

“Enough!” Taehyung interrupts him, his yell echoing through the corridor. “I’m so fucking sick of your excuses and your irredeemable behaviour. You’ve been nothing but a pain in the ass to me and I just–” he takes a breath, trying to calm himself before the angry, frustrated tears make an appearance. “I can’t deal with this anymore.”

His mind runs a mile a minute and his chest feels as if boulders are stacked on top of it. 

This PR relationship has done him more harm than good and he doesn’t think that he can take more pressure than what he’s going through right now. His grandmother’s health keeps deteriorating, his label keeps pushing him for new music and now Jeongguk keeps testing his patience. It’s impossible to juggle all this at the same time. 

Fuck those followers and streams, he can wait for his successful career a little longer. 

Jeongguk’s eyes narrow. “What do you mean, you can’t deal with this anymore?”

Taehyung breathes out a sigh. He suddenly feels exhausted even though the day just started. He needs a six hour nap or a vacation to the Maldives.

“You know what that means, Jeongguk. I can’t deal with this anymore. Fuck this relationship and fuck you , mainly. I don’t think you’re ready to commit to anything as big as this and I get it but I refuse to break my head over this any longer.”

Shock colours Jeongguk’s face, his mouth opening and closing a few times. “That’s not only your fucking decision to make, Taehyung. We signed a damn contract.” His voice is low but unthreatening. He sounds exhausted, too.

Well, fuck him and his exhaustion.

“I don’t care about that piece of paper,” Taehyung replies, tightening his coat around his body. “If you want to take this to court, be my guest. But I’m so done with your bullshit.”

Jeongguk scoffs. “You think this is all my fault, is it? You think so highly of yourself and find others’ issues without realising your own. This whole thing started because of you, if you’ve forgotten. I went along with every single thing you told me to do, from the family dinner to the contractual terms.” His voice has risen and his face is contorted in anger. He rubs his temples. “I already apologised for not being present today but instead of talking about it, you decided by yourself that we need to break this off. Why do you always make things so fucking difficult?”

Taehyung shakes his head. “If we both make this so arduous for each other then you’ll agree to let this contract go without putting up a fight, won’t you? Let’s make things easy for the both of us.” He gives him a cold smile. “I’ll talk to Seokjin hyung after my meeting and he’ll sort it out with Namjoon hyung, hopefully. See you.”

He leaves without a word, choosing to take the stairs despite Jeongguk living on the 14th floor. He could hear Jeongguk call after him a couple of times before he shut the door with a loud thud that Taehyung could hear one floor down. 

Whatever. No matter what Jeongguk says, he’s the one at fault. Taehyung might not be the easiest person to deal with but he’s nowhere at the level of insufferable as Jeongguk. 

A small part of him yells that he’s being too hasty, that maybe Jeongguk is right and they should talk about this instead of straight up breaking the arrangement. Taehyung immediately shuts it down, knowing that it’ll be like talking to a brick wall. 

One of his producers texts him, asking him about his whereabouts. He replies with a sigh, telling him he’ll be there at the meeting soon. 

His life must go on, no matter how many douchebags ruin his day.

♬♬♬

Jeongguk’s voice echoes through the hallway as he calls out Taehyung’s name but the singer unsurprisingly doesn’t reappear. He’s sure he sees red as he slams the door close, his fists balled tightly at his sides.

Who the fuck does Taehyung think he is, deciding to end their relationship all by himself? Doesn’t he get a say in this?

Jeongguk knows he’s fucked up bad. What he did today was unacceptable and he should’ve definitely handled the earlier conversation better. He would’ve even apologised a bit more if Taehyung hadn’t caught him so off-guard, barging in front of his apartment and yelling in the middle of his corridor. What if someone heard them fighting?

It doesn’t matter now, Jeongguk reminds himself with a scoff as he plops down on the sofa. They’re breaking up soon anyway.

“Fuck, I need a drink,” he mutters to himself. His head is throbbing from last night’s activities and he should really take a shower and an aspirin for his hangover but at the moment he only feels the familiar craving crawl up to him, telling him to drink his stress away. It’ll make him feel better, rid his mind of all of those scary impending feelings for good, and everything will get fixed. One glass of whiskey won’t do much harm, right? Maybe a pint of beer will suffice. He can go to practice after that too–

A couple of hard knocks on the door derail his train of thought. He tries to calm the fury flowing in his veins. Is it Taehyung? It’s probably Taehyung, right? Maybe that stuck-up asshole finally realised his mistake and is ready for a civil, mature talk. Of course, Jeongguk is merely a petty man. He’s not going to take Taehyung back so easily, at least not without some coaxing from the other.

He opens the door, ready to be as bratty and spiteful as he can. “Now what the fuck do you want– oh.”

Jeongguk’s father stares at him with his arms folded and eyes narrowed. A wave of fear immediately rushes through him.

Why is his father here? Jeongguk knows he never shows up to his apartment unless it’s something very urgent or if he has colossally fucked up. Judging by the stern expression on his father’s face, it’s most probably the latter.

Fucking hell. 

“Appa. Sorry, I thought it was someone else,” he says hurriedly, letting him inside.

“Did you think it was your fiance?” he asks as he limps in. 

Jeongguk’s stomach knots. “How– did you meet him on your way over?”

“No, I saw him walking towards his car. He looked like he was fuming, did you two have a fight?”

Jeongguk sighs, rubbing his face. His hangover is hitting him harder now, his head pulsing and the nausea in his gut increasing. He needs a nap desperately. “Kind of, but you don’t have to worry about it.” Because we’ve officially broken up, appa. 

His father’s gaze is hard on him and Jeongguk almost shudders. No matter how good of a relationship he has with him, it’s moments like these that make him truly afraid of the man in front of him.

“Seems like pissing people off is the only thing you can manage these days,” he shoots back, his voice rising. 

“Appa, I–”

“Two days!” he suddenly yells, his voice booming in Jeongguk’s apartment and making him flinch. “It’s been two fucking days since you’ve been to training! Where the hell have you been, Jeongguk?”

Jeongguk stays silent, knowing his father has more to say. He’s proven right when his father walks towards him, grabbing his shoulders harshly. “Do you not understand that the Bahrain Prix is in two weeks? The first important race of your life? Do you want to be disqualified in Q1 itself?”

Jeongguk’s lip wobbles as he shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Appa.”

He hears his father scoff. “I don’t want your fucking apology.” He almost spits the words out, as if even the thought of having a son like Jeongguk disgusts him. Jeongguk feels the lump in his throat increasing and the familiar burning on the back of his eyelids.

A fucking disappointment. That’s what he is to his father. That’s what he’ll ever be. 

“Why haven’t you been attending training, Jeongguk?” his voice is lower now as if he’s given up on him already. 

Jeongguk feels panic slowly spread across his body. He can hear ticking at some corner of his brain, getting louder each time his father asks him a question he can’t answer. As if whatever connects his brain to his mouth is pulled out of the plug and his entire system is wired down. 

“Where else have you been spending your time?”

Tick.

“Is it with your fiance? But that doesn’t seem to be working out so well either, is it?”

Tick .

“Were you at those useless clubs? Have you been drinking again?”

Tick .

“Are you hungover right now too?”

Tick .

“Do you not give a shit about your career anymore, Jeongguk?”

The ticking gets louder and louder until his father’s voice drowns in it, swirls around into another fuzzy noise that worsens the pounding in his head. Jeongguk feels his emotions explode and he lets out a sob. All of the feelings he’s been pushing down come bubbling to the top and Jeongguk can no longer hold them back, that final question toppling everything over. Fuck, does his father really think he doesn’t care about racing anymore? That’s all Jeongguk has ever wanted to do in his life.

Ever since he was a kid and watched his first match, seated on the floor with excitement brewing in his belly, Jeongguk knew this was the thing he wanted to spend the rest of his life doing. 

Has he become so much of a fuckup that his own father can’t see that?

“Appa,” he cries, a couple of tears escaping his eyes. The grip on his shoulders loosens as he hears his father sigh. Arms engulf him and he thinks he’s gone back to being five again. “I’m sorry, appa.”

Sorry that Jeongguk is such a shit son. Sorry that no matter how much he tries he’ll never be good enough for him. Always a disgrace, always a burden. 

His father doesn’t say or do anything to console him while he cries out on his shoulder. After a couple of minutes, he speaks. “Jeongguk, I really do not need your sorry. Tell me honestly, have you lost interest in racing?”

Lost interest? Racing is his life. It’s the thing that gives it meaning. He could never even think about losing interest in his passion.

His father pulls back from the hug. His features haven’t softened but they’re not as hard as before either. Jeongguk takes it as a good sign.

“No, appa. I could never. Racing is my one true love.”

He sees him shake his head. “Well, then you’re not doing a very good job of showing it, Jeongguk. Not to me, not to Hoseok and not to the team. Did you know people are talking about finding a new replacement for you in the championship?”

Dread fills Jeongguk’s veins. There’s no way. There’s no fucking way they could do that. Not when the first prix is so close. “But the championship is about to start,” he says, almost pleading in a way. But for what? His father might be a legend in the industry but when it comes to these big leagues he doesn’t have any influence. Jeongguk had to fight tooth and nail against the allegations that he’s just a nepo baby who got in the championship just by his last name, even if his outstanding performances in the F3 and F2 races are enough to prove otherwise. 

“It doesn’t matter. They say you lack motivation and passion for the sport and that they can’t afford to rank low. You know how reputable Ferrari is in the racing world, don’t you? Do you think they won’t hesitate to replace you if you show any less promise than what you did in your past races?”

Jeongguk stays silent, letting the fear wash over him. Of course his father is right. A racing team like his won’t think twice before replacing him if it means saving their reputation. They called him a prodigy in the making when they first offered him the position, saying he was an investment that would only bring them profit. 

All he’s doing for the past few weeks is proving them wrong. 

“What–” his voice comes out clogged and he has to clear his throat before continuing. “What can I do to stop them? Is it too late?”

His father sighs. “I don’t know, Jeongguk,” he replies, expression honest. “I’ll try talking to them but you know how much I hate involving myself directly in your career.”

“I know, appa,” Jeongguk affirms, rubbing his temples again. “Just this one time, okay? You don’t have to be direct. Just tell them I’m practising somehow. Or that I was sick.” His voice is borderline desperate now and it’s exactly how he feels. “Please, appa. Just this once. I’ll do well in the Bahrain Prix, I promise.”

He watches his father shake his head before giving in. “Fine, I’ll see what I can do but it’s not a guarantee. For now, consider yourself replaced, Jeongguk.”

Tick, tick, tick . Fuck, it’s back. And it’s so much worse than before.

The previous swirling starts again in his stomach, toiling like the angry sea as goosebumps begin to rush over his skin. 

“Alright,” he concedes, knowing there’s not much he can do at the moment.

His father starts limping towards the door. “Take a shower and get that rancid alcohol smell off you before going to practice. Stay away from clubs, Jeongguk,” his father reaches the door and turns back to him, eyes pleading.

Jeongguk nods and averts his gaze, hearing the door close. It’s so silent in his living room now and the ticking in his brain can be heard clearer than before. He runs a hand through his hair and messes it up, pressing his fingers at the side of his head to make the sound stop. 

It doesn’t work. No surprise there. 

With the drying tracks of tears on his face and the disgusting taste of alcohol still on his tongue, Jeongguk wants to collapse into a heap of limbs on the floor and sleep all of this pain off. But he can’t. For so long he’s been selfish, used substances to ease the pain, and it bites him in the ass each time without fail. 

He trudges towards the bathroom door, each step heavier than the last. Taehyung broke off their arrangement and he’s on the verge of losing his career. 

Fuck .

♬♬♬

Taehyung hears the door to Seokjin’s office open but he doesn’t move from his place. He knows Seokjin is here; he can smell the perfume that his manager has worn since he’s known him waft into the room upon the door closing. He doesn’t raise his head or acknowledge the other in any way, however. 

Seokjin is clearly pissed and he can tell by the way he takes a seat across Taehyung, his posture rigid as if he’s sitting on a bed of needles and not his own chair. 

“Taehyung, what do I hear about you cancelling the meeting with your label?” he barks loudly. He sounds furious with him, which he already expected. Taehyung is about to make him angrier once he informs him about his decision earlier.

Seokjin groans when Taehyung doesn’t grant him a response. “You already know how long it takes for us to arrange a meeting where all the executives and producers are present. At first, you postpone it just one day before, then you’re so late that someone has to remind you to be there and then you cancel it at the last minute? What is wrong with you?”

Taehyung’s breath is shaky and his eyes sting with unshed tears but he still doesn’t look up from the floor.

“Are you listening to me, Taehyung? I need you to take this seriously if you plan to release your album by the end of this year, dammit!” 

“I don’t plan anything !” Taehyung finally raises his head as he yells back and sees Seokjin’s features softening the moment he sees his teary eyes and red nose. “All the execs do is discuss my career and my album as if I’m not there and expect me to be okay with it. I don’t want to set a release date for this year, they do! I don’t understand why they keep pressuring me when I’ve repeatedly told them that I’m going through a rough patch with my grandmother knocking on death’s fucking door and cannot manage to write a single line for one fucking song!”

Taehyung is out of breath when he finishes ranting. He wipes off the sole pesky tear that has rolled down his cheek in frustration. Seokjin stays silent as Taehyung slowly manages to calm down and even his breathing.

“Taehyung,” he says after a few minutes, his voice now softer, more cautious. It’s more like a question, asking him if he’s alright. Taehyung hates it. He hates being treated tenderly, like a glass that could shatter at the slightest pressure. He hums in reply, telling him it’s okay to continue.

“I understand that it’s been hard writing songs lately, but a year-end release date doesn’t sound so bad, in my opinion. You debuted two years ago with only one song and have only been releasing covers or posing for a couple of magazine shoots since then. The people are anticipating new music from you, Tae. Your fans are dying to get a full album, you know that.”

He does. It pains him to go live and reply to questions asking him about his music in the same way each time, telling them to wait for him and that he’ll be releasing something very soon. He goes live rarely now and it’s partly due to this reason.

“I’m not trying to pressure you in any way but I still think you should try and understand what the label is trying to ask of you. You can’t let another year pass by, you need to do something, be it release another single.” His hands hold Taehyung’s across the table gently. “If you have trouble writing songs, choose one from the hundreds of demos the producers keep sending you. I know you told me you wanted your first album to be completely self-composed but I don’t think your mind is ready for that. At least listen to some of those demos, you might get struck by inspiration along the way.”

Taehyung nods and takes a deep breath. “Alright, I’ll listen to some of them. Maybe it’ll help.”

Seokjin gives him a genuine smile as he pulls his hands. “Did you talk to Yoongi recently? Maybe he can send you some of his favourites.”

Taehyung nods and looks away. He hates angering his hyungs, hates being a burden to them no matter how many times they’ve denied it. 

“Everything’s going to be just fine, Tae-ah. With your album releasing this year and the good press from your relationship with Jeongguk, your career might actually get the launch it deserves pretty soon.”

Seokjin gives him the perfect segway to reveal his withdrawal from their contract and Taehyung takes it. “About that,” he starts, one of his hands playing with his earring. “I need to talk to you about Jeongguk.”

The colour drains from Seokjin’s face but he encourages him to continue, sitting straighter. 

“I’ve decided to end the PR relationship between Jeongguk and I,” Taehyung announces with an air of finality. 

Seokjin’s mouth opens, then closes, then stays hanging so wide open Taehyung can see his molars. “Please tell me you’re joking.” 

Taehyung shakes his head. “I’m sorry hyung but I don’t think I can deal with that jackass anymore.”

“But–” His manager stares at him in confusion then shakes his head. “But that bowling date. Everything was so perfect, you two were civil enough that night.”

Taehyung sighs and rubs his eyes. This non-stop crying fest for the past few days has surely taken a toll on them and he needs to purchase some eye drops before they get all red and itchy or worse, he gets a sty.

“Well– I thought so too but after today…” he starts explaining the events of this morning, Jeongguk standing him up for their date and their argument at his apartment. 

Seokjin’s face gets red by the end of his narration which shows how affected he is. “Oh my– I didn’t think– why didn’t you tell me this in the morning, Taehyung?”

Taehyung’s bottom lip juts out. “Because you told me that you had two meetings back to back until lunchtime. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Seokjin laughs and it warms Taehyung’s heart. “Very sweet but you will never disturb me. Managing you and your problems is quite literally my job, although I am glad that you acted smartly and contacted Namjoon directly.” His laughter subsides and his face turns serious again. “But are you sure about this? You know the consequences.”

Taehyung nods. “Yes. It might be a hit to the progress I’ve made so far but I’m ready to wait for a few more years to achieve this kind of popularity again. At least, this time I know it’ll only be because of me and my talent.”

Seokjin takes a hard look at him before nodding. “Alright. I’ll contact Namjoon and ask him what Jeongguk thinks of the contract dissolution and start preparing for any legal help that we might need if he’s against it.”

Suddenly Taehyung is reminded of the legal procedures involved in terminating a contract like this, even more of a hassle in case Jeongguk wants to take this to court. Guilt spreads inside him like wildfire and he starts rethinking his decision. Maybe he’s being too hasty? Maybe he and Jeongguk can try to sort this out by talking–

But then Jeongguk’s nonchalance from this morning flashes in front of him and he shakes his head. 

He’s making the right decision. Fuck that guy.

“Thank you,” Taehyung thanks him, getting up from his chair to head to Yoongi’s studio. “And sorry for the inconvenience.” 

Seokjin waves him off with a fake glare and he walks out of his office with a giggle, feeling like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders.

He doesn’t have to deal with that asshole Jeongguk ever again and he couldn’t be happier about it.

♬♬♬

Jeongguk is great at a lot of things. He’s great at car racing, working out, painting, cooking and even his singing sounds amazing when he’s downed a couple of tequila shots. The media often refers to him as an ace and he’s grown fond of that title.

One thing he’s terrible at, however, is making the right decision. 

It’s past two a.m. but the music around him still booms through the speakers as if the night has just started. People around him are dancing, laughing, dry-humping and generally looking way more alive than how a person usually does at this hour. 

Now, he knows he shouldn’t be here. He should’ve just gone home when Jimin and Hoseok did, especially when his trainer gave him a stern reminder that he has training the next day at nine in the morning. But his day had been terrible and the haunting reminder that his PR relationship was over and his career on the verge of suffering the same fate pushed him to bid his friends goodbye and down his sixth glass of whiskey of the night. The moment he got the call from Namjoon confirming Taehyung’s decision to end their contract he lost it completely and decided he needed to do what he does best: drown in alcohol.

He groans as he feels the multicoloured floor under him sway, stomach somersaulting every three seconds. Fuck, he really should’ve eaten something before coming here. 

Perhaps it’s time for him to go home.

He clutches his head as he tries to blink groggily, staggering across the dance floor to get to the bar. Some people around him complain as he roughly pushes past them but most are too drunk to care, just like him. The cloying stench of overly doused perfume mixing in with sweat almost brings the alcohol right up his oesophagus and he has to gulp several times to push it down. 

After what seems like hours he finds the crowded bar, having to shove a few more people to find an empty barstool. By that time he’s barely able to stand up on his two legs and decides that he should be calling an Uber immediately. His head is cursing at him as he orders two glasses of cold water and he downs them both in the next few seconds.

“Aw, you’re resorting to water already?” A girl asks next to him. Her voice is high-pitched in a flirty manner but to Jeongguk’s pounding head it’s extremely annoying. Still, he’s courteous enough to turn to face her and give her a smile. 

The girl flutters her clearly fake eyelashes, her makeup slightly ruined at this time of the night. Jeongguk is sort of mesmerised by the length; how do they not slap her cheeks every time she blinks? What if they get tangled? Wait, how does she even put them on? Don’t they make her eyelids feel heavier?

Taehyung has long eyelashes too.

Woah, where did that thought come from? Jeongguk blinks himself out of his stupor and nods in reply before turning back, startled by the thought that just sprung in his head. 

Taehyung does have the longest lashes he’s ever seen on a guy. They touch the highest point of his cheeks prettily every time he blinks or closes his eyes to calm his anger, which happens quite often when Jeongguk is in his vicinity. 

But why the fuck is thinking of Taehyung out of all people when he’s shit-faced drunk?

The girl clears her throat to grab Jeongguk’s attention once more. Lord, why can’t people just get the hint and leave him alone when he’s obviously not interested?

“So, you want me to buy you a drink? Something low in alcohol content, I promise!” she giggles and Jeongguk curbs the urge to groan out loud. He watches her flip her dyed red hair in anticipation and realises that she’s not very attractive. It’s not an insult, simply an observation.

“No, thank you,” he grits out, trying to smile again and not tell her how he wouldn’t be interested in her even if he swung that way. 

Drunk Jeongguk is kind of mean.

She pouts exaggeratedly at him and holy shit, is that aegyo? At her grown age? She doesn’t look a day below twenty five. “Come on, oppa. Don’t be a grandpa and have some fun!”

How dare this hag call him a grandpa? He’s undoubtedly younger than her and anyone in this room can vouch for that. Is she calling him oppa on purpose to feel younger? He decides that he’s had enough of her nonsense and reaches into his pocket to retrieve his phone but is met with emptiness instead.

Oh, no. God, no. Did he lose his fucking phone? 

His hands hurriedly search the other pockets as well but to no avail. It’s clear that he must’ve dropped his phone somewhere while dancing or doing god knows what since he can’t even remember the events of the last hour.

He’s so doomed.

The girl must have seen his panicked face because she asks him, still with that annoyingly pitchy voice, “Oppa, what’s wrong? Did you lose something?”

I’m not your oppa, Jeongguk wants to scream but he can’t, not when his heart is pounding and his head is throbbing and his throat feels drier than a desert. 

It’s fine. Take a deep breath , his alcohol-riddled brain manages to supply, just ask the girl for her phone and call an Uber.

He feels a little calmer having formulated this quick plan and is about to ask the girl for her phone when another voice beats him to it. “Yunhee, where the hell have you been?”

Jeongguk watches the girl’s– Yunhee’s face fall instantly, all her flirty persona from earlier gone as she turns to the man standing behind her. “Chan-ie,” she tries to smile, “I just came here for a drink.”

“For the past hour?” he thunders, clearly not buying it.

Jeongguk watches the scene in front of him in distaste. He has an idea as to what’s going on, the same old sad story about a girl and her asshole and overly possessive boyfriend. He almost feels bad for her, but the sympathy vanishes the moment she opens her mouth to speak.

“I wanted to leave a long time ago but this man kept trying to buy me a drink.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open. He blinks a few times and attempts to understand what she said. 

Him? Jeongguk? Trying to buy her a drink? What the fuck?

The guy’s furious gaze shifts from Yunhee to Jeongguk instantly and all of the racer’s senses stand on alert. Shit, why the hell is he being involved in this drama against his will?

“You,” the man walks closer to him and Jeongguk can clearly see that he’s shorter than him if he stands up. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at him. “What did I do?” His vision is still kind of blurry and his thoughts are still a mess. He just needs a damn phone to call a cab.

The man pokes his index finger in Jeongguk’s shoulder, trying to be threatening but it only pisses Jeongguk off more. Who the hell does this loser think he is to touch him without his permission?

“Stay away from my girl, you hear me?”

The alcohol running through his veins makes him braver, more impulsive so he simply laughs in reply. “I have literally zero interest in your girl.” He stares at her from behind him and makes a face. “Honestly, I wonder how you manage to have interest in her.”

It finally sets the guy off, who grabs Jeongguk’s collar in the next second. “What the fuck did you just say?”

Alright, fun’s over. Jeongguk’s smile drops and his lips set in a hard line. He stands up and almost smirks when he confirms that he is, in fact, a few inches taller. Guys like him are his worst nightmare and he’s sure as fuck not letting him grab him like that. “Get your hands off me, you asshole,” he warns, voice low.

The man just sneers. “And why the fuck would I do that? You think you can call my girlfriend ugly and I’ll let you go?”

Jeongguk grabs the man’s wrist and scoffs. “You said the u-word, I didn’t. Now release my collar or–”

“Or? Or what, you son of a bitch?”

Okay, that’s it. Jeongguk has had enough of this fucker and his lying girlfriend. He’s usually not a violent person but sometimes bastards like these need to be put in their places.

He balls his other hand in a fist and raises it to strike him when his arm is held back by someone. 

Jeongguk almost lets out a whine in protest when he hears an annoyingly familiar voice whisper in his ear. “Alright, Jeongguk. That’s enough.”

His eyes widen as they turn to him. “Taehyung?”

♬♬♬

Taehyung thinks he’s barely fallen asleep when his phone on the bedside table rings loudly, disturbing the peace of the room and startling him awake. “What the hell?” he mutters groggily, trying to blindly reach for his phone in the darkness.

He squints at the sudden brightness and tries to read what the caller id says. Speeding Ticket flashes across the screen and he almost throws the gadget in anger. 

Seriously, what’s Jeongguk’s problem?

The younger has been trying to phone Taehyung the entire night, the calls starting from around 9 p.m. every twenty minutes or so, until they finally stopped around midnight. Taehyung rejected every call since then and even contemplated blocking his number but ultimately just put his phone on silent and tried to enjoy his first work-less night in weeks. 

He thinks he fell asleep around one in the morning. It’s currently 1:34, which means he’d just started his deep sleep when this ass called him.

Should he ignore this too? But what if Jeongguk keeps calling him throughout the night?

Maybe he should just pick it up once and let him have it. Tell him that no matter how many times he begs and apologises Taehyung’s mind has been made and he’s not going back on his decision to terminate the contract. Threaten him with police if he keeps harassing him like this–

Perhaps that’s a step too far.

Taehyung picks up the phone just as it cuts off. He stares at the now black screen for a few seconds, trying to decide if he should really call Jeongguk back. He just decides to go for it, his brain too hazy to make any rational decisions.

He redials Jeongguk’s number and the call’s picked up after two rings. “What the fuck is your problem, Jeon?” 

“Um, hello?” A voice that’s definitely not Jeongguk’s answers the phone, tone hesitant.

“Hello? Who is this and how do you have Jeongguk’s phone?” he asks, sitting up in his bed. He wonders, hopes that Jeongguk is alright.

“I’m the bartender at Club Tension and someone found this phone on the dancefloor and handed it to me. It was unlocked and this person has clearly called you multiple times tonight so I thought…”

“You saw an unlocked phone and immediately decided to snoop through it?” Taehyung asks, running a hand through his bed hair. It’s hard to hear the bartender over the loud music in the background and Taehyung is still half asleep. Why the fuck is Jeongguk, someone so high-profile, keeping his phone password free anyways?

“N–no! I just looked through the call log, I swear. It looks like an expensive phone so I didn’t think the owner would want to lose it.”

Taehyung sighs, seemingly more awake now. Of course Jeongguk got wasted at some random club and also managed to lose his phone in the same night. Taehyung guesses he must be completely shit-faced by now if he dropped it and didn’t realise. Why couldn’t he have called his other friends instead of Taehyung so this person would have bothered them instead? 

He thinks about calling Namjoon and just letting him handle it. After all, Jeongguk isn’t his responsibility, especially after their break up is about to be announced in the next few days. Plus, with the way Jeongguk didn’t show up for their date today, Taehyung could easily tell Jeongguk to go fuck himself. But then he realises how terrible of a person he’d be if he woke up the hardworking agent at this hour just to be petty. 

“Erm, are you there? I could give you the address of the club if you want to collect the phone now or tomorrow. I need to serve other people, please be quick with your decision.”

Taehyung is momentarily annoyed by the rush but then decides he doesn’t have much of a choice. If Jeongguk is that drunk he won’t manage to get home, that’s for sure.

“Tell me the address please,” he almost whines, pushing his blanket away.

He mentally notes down the information and thanks the bartender before he keeps the phone, staring at his closet and grabbing the first pair of clothing he can find.

Time to be a knight in shining armour, I guess.

The drive to the club is thankfully peaceful given the time and Taehyung reaches the place without difficulty in under twenty minutes. He spends the next five minutes explaining to the bouncer that he just needs to be in there quickly to get someone and shouldn’t be charged an atrocious entrance fee just for that but it only results in him having to pay that damn fee with a mood worse than before and entering that disgusting place full of drunk and sweaty people.

Clubs are fun for Taehyung, especially when he’s all dolled up and sexy and is maybe looking for someone to take home for the night after having some fun. But clubs at almost three in the morning after being rudely woken up from his sleep to pick up the most annoying person on the planet sounds like the perfect description for a hell catered specifically for him.

Fuck, where is Jeongguk? He wonders as he scans each and every face passing by and around him in hopes that he’ll match it with the face in his nightmares. He gives up after a couple of minutes, thinking he’ll first retrieve the phone from the bartender before continuing his search.

Taehyung hears the commotion around the overcrowded bar before he sees it. He can hear a few whispers and murmurs talking about an argument that’s taking place right now and honestly, Taehyung wouldn’t have given two fucks about it if the person he was looking for wasn’t notoriously known for his violent streaks in clubs. 

He decides to ditch the phone and push through the crowd to get to the center of the chaos, ignoring the offended gasps and swears thrown his way. He almost lets out an exasperated yet relieved sigh the second he spots Jeongguk and his suspicions are proven correct. The racer’s face is contorted in anger as he stares down the man currently grabbing his collar, yelling something about his girl , who Taehyung thinks is referring to the redhead standing behind them.

The second he sees Jeongguk’s fist raised and ready to throw a punch he steps in the warzone, catching his arm in the nick of time and stopping him from ruining his reputation once more. 

“Alright, Jeongguk. That’s enough,” he whispers, not wanting to cause a scene. He already feels way too hot in this cramped up space and the loud, obnoxious music is hurting his brain. He needs to get out of here, away from all the gazes currently fixed on him.

Jeongguk turns to him, his eyes comically wide. His face is pink and he looks completely and utterly wasted. “Taehyung?”

Taehyung coughs, trying to match the intense look Jeongguk is giving him. “What are you doing here?” he hears him ask. The racer’s eyes take in all of his face as if unable to believe it’s really him. 

“I’m here to save your drunk ass,” he replies, curbing the urge to roll his eyes. Whispers erupt around him once more and he suddenly remembers the crowd and the hand curled around Jeongguk’s collar.

“Let him go, please. We don’t want any trouble here,” he says to the man, who just scoffs in reply.

“Your buddy here was asking for trouble when he dared to buy my girl a drink,” he says, voice low and pretending to be threatening. 

Taehyung takes a look at the woman standing behind them and almost lets out a snicker. All this havoc over her ? Jeongguk was gay as far as he knew but even if he wasn’t Taehyung is sure she won’t be the object of his desires. 

Fuck Taehyung, stop being mean and focus. 

The girl lets out a gasp as soon as she gazes at Taehyung. “You’re Kim Taehyung, aren’t you?” she shifts her stare to Jeongguk, who manages to get out of the guy’s grip during her yelling. “And you’re Jeon Jeongguk, his fiance!”

Jeongguk sighs. “Great, you know our names. Should I offer you a grand prize for that? A Hawaii vacation for you and your beau, perhaps?”

Fuck this guy and his impulsive mouth. Taehyung sees the girl’s boyfriend get pissed off once more but just as he’s about to grab Jeongguk again, he steps in. 

“Okay now, there’s no need to resort to violence,” Taehyung says, trying to be calm when all he wants is to rip his own hair off or run away and never return. He turns to his fake fiance. “Jeongguk, let’s just leave–”

“Shut the fuck up, you cock sucker,” the man spits out at him and Taehyung watches Jeongguk’s face go from moderately bored to furious in an instant, and he’s grabbing the douchebag’s collar even before the singer can react to either of them.

“What the fuck did you say?” Jeongguk snarls in his face, his grip on the man’s shirt turning his knuckles white, “If you talk to him like that again I’ll knock all your teeth out, you hear me?”

Taehyung struggles to pull Jeongguk away from him, his cheeks starting to warm up from all the attention they’re gathering. “Jeongguk, let’s go, please,” he whispers, sounding desperate. He really hopes the racer doesn’t lose his temper and cause another scandal, this time involving Taehyung.

The other man looks utterly terrified now, all his bravado from earlier having disappeared the moment Jeongguk grabbed him. “Whatever,” he replies, getting out the grip and straightening his shirt, sending both of them dirty looks before catching his girlfriend’s arm and dragging her with him.

Taehyung sighs and turns to Jeongguk whose angry expression has to changed to queasy now and he looks three seconds away from throwing up. “Jeongguk– oof!” he lets out a puff of air as Jeongguk completely throws his entire body weight on him, clutching his stomach as he leans against Taehyung’s shoulder. “Taehyung I–” he starts, swallowing a couple of times before continuing. “I don’t feel so good.”

Taehyung nods, trying to hold him better as he steers them away from the crowd who had sometime during their fight taken out their phones. Fucking great , he sighs. Now they’ll know Jeongguk got violent when the man called Taehyung a cock sucker–

Holy shit, did Jeongguk just defend him back there?

He replays the events in his head as hands the racer a glass of water and thanks the bartender for taking care of Jeongguk’s phone. Jeongguk was completely fine, almost bored even, until the man had called Taehyung a slur, after which the younger had switched into his enraged mode.

He looks at Jeongguk sitting on the barstool, head nestled in between his arms as he lets out soft groans every five seconds. Shit, he owes Jeongguk now, doesn’t he? Taehyung absolutely despises owing people more than anything. 

He sighs for what feels like the hundredth time that day, preparing himself to take care of Jeongguk until he drops him home. It’s the least he can do after what Jeongguk did for him.

Giving himself a small peptalk, he walks to the big baby waiting for his assistance and reminds himself that the night is far from over.

♬♬♬

“Oof!” Taehyung hears Jeongguk say when he drops him on the sofa in his living room. “Can you be a little more gentle?” the racer whines, just as he had been doing the entire journey from the club to Taehyung’s house.

“Can you stop your complaining for five seconds?” he huffs out in reply, clearly winded from carrying a very uncooperative Jeongguk from his lobby to his floor. The racer made a fuss about every single thing on their way from the club and Taehyung almost lost it when Jeongguk didn’t remember the passcode to his house.

“I changed it fairly recently! I don’t remember it, whoops,” he had said, flashing Taehyung the most unabashed grin he could muster and the older tried very hard to not punch it off his face.

So that’s how Taehyung ended up bringing Jeongguk to his apartment instead which was definitely more than what he’d bargained for. What the hell is supposed to do with this whiny, cranky, drunk version of Jeongguk that’s somehow more annoying than his regular one?

“You’re mean. You’re a meanie, Kim Taehyung,” Jeongguk says, folding his hands and appearing to be intimidating.

“Womp womp,” Taehyung shrugs as he catches his breath, taking off his jacket and wiping the sweat beading on his forehead. Fuck, he should really start working out more if he’s this affected by Jeongguk leaning his entire body weight on him. What was he made of, pure muscle?

Jeongguk’s groan fills the air and he clutches his stomach, doubling over. “Shit, I don’t feel so good.”

Taehyung drops his coat near the door and runs to him. He kneels down on the carpet, reaching his level. “Do you want to throw up? Let me know when you feel like puking. If even a little bit of vomit gets on my precious sofa you’re dead, you hear me?” he asks, grabbing his shoulder to make sure he’s listening.

Jeongguk nods and then meets his gaze. He stares at Taehyung in silence for a couple of seconds, enough to make him gulp. Jeongguk’s stare is intense, as if he can uncover your deepest, darkest secret from within if he stares long enough.

“You have so many moles on your face, did anyone ever tell you that?” Jeongguk asks him, voice suddenly lowered to a whisper.

He sees Jeongguk’s eyes scan all over his face as he kneels there frozen to the ground, wondering why the hell he bothered with that question. Who cares how many dots are on his face? 

“No,” Taehyung whispers back. “How many do I have?”

“Four,” the racer answers after thorough searching. He raises his finger and places it gently on Taehyung’s right cheek. “One here,” he murmurs, mostly to himself. His hand moves up to the tip of his nose. “Another here.” He puts his finger right below his left eye. “A third here, and,” Taehyung can feel his heart beat rising steadily as the finger shifts right on his bottom lip, the pressure sending tingles down his entire body. “The last one here.”

The touch is so foreign, so sudden that Taehyung can’t do anything else but stay there unmoving, Jeongguk’s finger on his lips and their faces inches apart. The air around them gets thicker, more tension-filled. Why can’t he move? Why isn’t Jeongguk withdrawing his damn finger?

Taehyung feels the slightest movement on his bottom lip, Jeongguk’s finger slightly shifting to the side as if he is running it along the slight cracks. Taehyung parts his lips and a puff of air comes out and Jeongguk fixes his unfocused gaze on them while Taehyung can’t look away from him, his heart threatening to beat out of control.

“Your lips are so soft,” Jeongguk comments, his eyes still on his finger, voice far away.

Taehyung swallows, the movement joining his lips together and trapping Jeongguk’s finger between the two halves, making the younger chuckle. “Are you planning to bite me, Taehyung-ssi?” he asks, voice suddenly octaves deeper. “You seem like a biter to me.”

Fuck, what’s that supposed to mean? Taehyung feels heat pool in his lower belly. Why is Jeongguk suddenly looking at him like…that?

Taehyung immediately snaps out of the daze he’s in, almost losing his balance and falling on his ass as he backs away from Jeongguk. Shit, shit, shit . What just happened?

Taehyung doesn’t get the privilege to think about it as Jeongguk’s face contorts in pain and lets out a pained moan. “I– I think I need to throw up,” he says with difficulty and Taehyung immediately springs up to lift him once more before he ruins his precious sofa. 

Another groan from the younger has him almost running to the bathroom, dragging a whining and weak Jeongguk behind him. He thanks his lucky stars for having a small apartment because the moment they step into the bathroom, Jeongguk hurries to the toilet and immediately starts retching.

Taehyung scrunches his nose as the putrid smell of vomit fills the room but plants himself to the threshold of the door, standing by in case Jeongguk needs his help. He watches the younger painfully empty the contents of his stomach, grimacing when he starts coughing. 

“Hey, you okay?” he asks, his voice way softer than he intended it to be as he walks towards him. His hands run up and down on Jeongguk’s back on their own accord as the younger nods his head in reply before once again turning towards the toilet bowl for another round of throwing up.

Taehyung winces when Jeongguks lets out a little moan, droplets of sweat lining his neck. The two sit down in silence for a few moments and only Jeongguk’s harsh pants and the swish of Taehyung's hand rubbing along his jacket can be heard. “I think I’m done now,” Jeongguk croaks out, his shoulders hunched and his breathing returning back to normal.

“You sure?” Taehyung asks as he withdraws his hand, his lips pursing when he sees how exhausted Jeongguk suddenly looks. He’s been in this position too many times and he knows from experience how painful and dizzy this part of being drunk is. All the fun and silly mood from earlier disappears and all one can feel is the pounding in the head and the unpleasant swirling of the stomach.

Jeongguk hums and turns towards him. His hair is matted to his forehead, his lips are turned downward and he looks five seconds away from falling asleep. 

“I’m going to get you some clothes to change into, okay?” Taehyung asks him, his voice still annoyingly gentle. He delicately swipes away the sweaty hair covering his forehead, Jeongguk’s eyes fluttering shut at his touch.

Taehyung’s stomach twists.

God, why is he treating Jeongguk with so much care? The younger has never done anything to deserve it, never even spoken cordially to him. The lack of sleep is messing with his head , Taehyung decides as he withdraws his hand in a flash. The faster he deals with Jeongguk, the faster he can go to bed.

He leaves the younger in the bathroom and walks to his closet, trying to search for the baggiest t-shirt and sweatpants he can find. When he’s back in the bathroom, Jeongguk seems to have collected himself quite a bit even if his gaze is still unfocused, as if he’s not totally sober yet. He spits out the mouthwash he used from Taehyung’s cabinet, something that slightly ticks the older off. Not because Jeongguk used his mouthwash, of course. He’s not that petty or stingy. But Taehyung keeps all his anxiety and sleep medication in there and what if Jeongguk uses that against him in any of their arguments? Taehyung can’t trust Jeongguk, even though the large doe eyes that stare at him in anticipation make it harder for the singer to hate him.

“Here are some clothes,” he places the articles on the countertop. Jeongguk stares at them as if it’s his first time seeing clothes. “You can change here, I’ll get you some warm water to calm your stomach.”

He turns around to leave when he feels Jeongguk’s hand wrap around his wrist, stopping him. The touch sends a zap of electricity throughout his body and he turns, his eyes a little wide as he snatches his hand back subtly. “Yeah?”

“Can you help me?” Jeongguk asks vaguely, jutting his chin towards the clothes and then raising his hands. 

Taehyung scrunches his eyebrows, trying to understand what he’s trying to say, when it suddenly hits him.

Jeongguk is asking him to help him change.

Taehyung’s mouth hangs open, breath getting stuck in his throat. What even…?

“No,” he shakes his wildly, unconsciously taking a step back. “There’s no way I’m helping you change.”

Jeongguk’s bottom lip juts out. “But I’m tired and I’m feeling woozy.” He blinks at him, those large eyes all pleading and puppy-like. “Please?” Good lord.

Heat rushes to Taehyung’s cheeks as Jeongguk takes a step closer to him, arms still stubbornly raised in the air. “No!” he squeaks, almost tripping in embarrassment. “Sleep in your current clothes then, I don’t care! I’m not changing you!” he backs out of the bathroom, avoiding eye contact with Jeongguk who lets out a whine when Taehyung closes the door behind him.

Taehyung presses his palm to his vibrating chest and wills himself to calm down. It’s not a big deal, you twat. Jeongguk is just drunk and has no idea what he’s doing. Why are you acting like a schoolgirl in a boys locker room?

Taehyung has helped plenty of his friends change before and has changed in front of many. Being an idol doesn’t really allow much room for modesty and he’s stood almost naked in front of many stylists. So why was Jeongguk asking for his help for something so embarrassing to him? He wasn’t going to assist him, of course, but did he have to act so immaturely about it?

You weren’t the one pouting and throwing a tantrum, he reminds himself to feel a bit better. But Jeongguk probably won’t even remember any of this by tomorrow morning.

Taehyung is sure he’s going to remember this awful night for the rest of his life.

He’s broken out of his thoughts when the door to the bathroom opens just as he finishes making the lemon drink which always cures his hangovers. His cheeks start to warm once more when he sees Jeongguk in his clothes and he tells himself to get a grip.

“I’m cold,” Jeongguk says before he slumps back on the sofa, sounding utterly drained. 

Taehyung raises his eyebrows. He feels fine and he’s sure the temperature in the room is around its usual 20 degrees. He grabs the drink and places it on the centre table in front of Jeongguk, who stares at it in confusion.

“Drink this, it’ll hydrate you,” he instructs, placing the back of his hand on Jeongguk’s forehead, causing him to flinch. Taehyung ignores the reaction and hums when he senses that it’s mildly warm. “You might have a little fever.” He starts walking back to his bedroom. “I’ll get you a paracetamol.”

Finding the tablets, he goes back to the living room and finds Jeongguk’s eyes drooping as he tries to stay awake. Taehyung curbs the urge to smile.

“Just have this and then you can go to sleep, hmm?” he hands him the tablet and watches him take it with the leftover lemonade. 

“This shit is fucking sour,” Jeongguk says as Taehyung sits next to him. 

“Hey! I made it for you at 4 fucking a.m., the least you can do is not complain about it.”

He expects Jeongguk to argue back but the younger just nods. “You’re right,” he says, placing the glass back on the table. His words are still slurry and Taehyung wonders how much he’s had to drink if he’s still not sober. “You did all this for me even though you could’ve just bothered Namjoon hyung or something. So thank you.”

Taehyung’s eyes shoot upwards. Did Jeon Jeongguk just thank him? First defending him at the bar and now thanking him. Drunk Jeongguk is some other person entirely.

“What did you say?” he asks, tone a little teasing.

Jeongguk blinks. “Thank you?”

“No, before that.”

“You’re right…?” he asks and furrows his eyebrows.

Taehyung snaps his fingers, a little smile playing on his lips. “ That , exactly. I need to voice record it and play it whenever you act like a know-it-all in our arguments.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes but Taehyung can see his lips tilted upwards too. “I think the insufferable know-it-all between us is definitely not me,” he teases back lightheartedly. His eyes shine as they stare at Taehyung. “But seriously, thank you for helping me and stopping me from punching that asshole’s face earlier.”

Taehyung purses his lips, not sure how to accept his gratitude. “I only did it because you defended me back there. So thank you, as well.”

Jeongguk yawns. “Don’t worry about it,” he waves it off. “Homophobia will not be tolerated in this household.”

Taehyung looks away from him, trying to stop the warmth from spreading in his chest. What Jeongguk did back there was very sweet but he already paid him back by taking care of him tonight. They’re even now and nowhere near friends or even acquaintances. 

He hears him groan bringing Taehyung’s attention back on Jeongguk. “This hangover is going to kill me tomorrow. I have practice at nine, fuck.” He rubs his face, sluggishly.

Taehyung scoffs. “You have training in the morning and yet you went drinking the second night in a row?” He will never understand how Jeongguk can be so irresponsible about everything in his life. His nonchalant attitude when it comes to important stuff is one of the main reasons he pisses Taehyung off more than anything. How hard is it to take some things in life seriously, especially when it’s your career?

“I know it’s bad, okay,” Jeongguk replies in a low voice, his eyes closed. He looks seconds away from falling asleep. “You don’t have to tell me how much of a fuck up I am when my failures are enough to remind me every single day.”

Taehyung feels a little stunned at his words. He’s about to tell him that that’s not what he meant at all, but Jeongguk doesn’t let him interject.

“Missing practices, drinking every night, doing terribly in training, forgetting important events and prior appointments. I just can’t fucking stop sabotaging my own life.” His voice breaks at the end and Taehyung’s chest feels heavier but he doesn’t speak. He thinks Jeongguk is saying for his own sake more than Taehyung’s, just so he can get it out of his system. 

“I couldn’t believe the day they sent me that email congratulating me on being chosen to represent Ferrari in the next F1 championship.” His voice sounds far away, eyes still shut. “Jeon Jeongguk, youngest F1 racer in the world. I was a prodigy, a gift to the racing world they said. I’d never seen my dad happier than he was that day. That’s all I want, for my father to be proud of me. That’s all I’ve ever fucking wanted.”

A stray tear rolls down his cheek, making Taehyung gulp. He clenches his fists to stop his hands from wiping it away.

“But recently I’ve been doing everything but that. I’m so sick of seeing my father so upset and disappointed in me. For the past few months, I’ve done nothing but be a burden to him.” His voice sounds thick with unshed tears. “Life kept giving me so many chances but I kept blowing them up. Shit, I even blew up the whole thing with you, Taehyung.”

Taehyung blinks in alert when he hears his name. A part of him wants to tell Jeongguk to sleep but a part of him wants to let him speak his heart out, get to know the side that the younger will never show him while sober.

“This whole PR thing felt like the universe was giving me one more chance. The timing was perfect, the plan was perfect and the results were incredible. Everything was falling into place but then, as usual, I had to fuck it up. I took everything lightly and ruined that as well.”

He lets out a sigh. “It’s why I couldn’t help but drink tonight. Whenever I fuck up, I drink, but it only leads to worse disasters. Ironic, isn’t it?” His words are slightly more difficult to understand and Taehyung is convinced Jeongguk is half-asleep at this point.

The words strike deep in Taehyung’s mind. He wants to tell Jeongguk that what he does shouldn’t be the solution, that it points to very serious conditions and matters.

But it’s not really his place and Jeongguk probably won’t remember this conversation tomorrow.

“And now, I’ve lost this last chance to save my reputation and with that, I’ve lost my career as well.” Jeongguk laughs mockingly. “I kind of understand why you hate me, Taehyung. I don’t blame you for ending the whole fake relationship before I did you or your career any harm.”

Taehyung’s heart almost slows down to a stop. Fuck, is this PR relationship so important to him? Does ending it mean also the end of his career? “You lost your career because I broke off the arrangement?” he asks, speaking for the first time since the younger started his rant.

Jeongguk shakes his head and it brings the older little relief. “Not really. There have been talks of replacing me going on in the team for a while now but I think our failed dates and arguments were just a tip towards the inevitable. I’m not sure if I’ve been replaced yet but with how furious my father was this morning, I might as well be.” He hears him sniff, a couple of tears appearing on his cheeks.

Taehyung’s thoughts pick up speed. If the positive reactions to their relationship mean good PR for Jeongguk, then ending it so abruptly might cause some serious damage to his already horrible reputation. He bites his lip as he contemplates. Seokjin told him to think about sorting it out with Jeongguk before making such a rash decision. In his anger from this morning, Taehyung forgot this PR stunt wasn’t just for his benefit alone and the termination of the contract will affect Jeongguk as well.

Fuck, he can’t do this to him. No matter how vile he and Jeongguk have been to each other, Taehyung will never risk Jeongguk’s career as revenge. And he’s still not quite sure how exactly their fake relationship flourishing means Jeongguk gets in his team’s good books or how it affects his career positively but he does know he can’t back out of this arrangement without properly trying first.

Taehyung will give his and Jeongguk’s faux relationship another try.

He’s about to tell the racer his decision when he sees he’s already fast asleep, his face calm and devoid of all the pain from moments ago. Jeongguk wearing his clothes, which are definitely tighter and clingier on him, disorients him for a second. What has his life come to, really? If anyone told Taehyung a few months ago that Jeon Jeongguk would be fast asleep on his sofa wearing his clothes after spilling his current sad situation to him, he would laughed in their face for hours.

Taehyung gets an idea as he stares at Jeongguk’s sleeping form. Careful not to wake him up, he moves him slowly towards him so that the younger’s head is lying on his chest and grabs his phone. He wraps one arm around him and gently squishes his cheeks with the other hand, taking a couple of pictures. 

He uploads one with the caption sleepy baby with a teary-eyed emoji on his Instagram and smirks at how feral their fans are going to be when they see it. Freak out about how cute they are and over-analyse every detail of this picture. Taehyung has never shown off his boyfriends so much before. He just wishes this show of affection would’ve been real, with someone he truly loves. Then he wouldn’t care about the likes and the traction. He’d post it for him and his partner only. 

Ignoring the weight of Jeongguk’s head on his chest that causes his stomach to flutter, he switches to his messaging app and lets Seokjin know that he’s changed his mind about the whole thing and wants to give this relationship another chance. The older might threaten to bite his head off at the rollercoaster of emotions he puts him through but it’s fine. 

Finally, he lays Jeongguk down in what he hopes is a comfortable position and covers him with a blanket. Taehyung studies his peaceful face as he sleeps, mouth now slightly open with his bunny teeth peeking out. It suddenly reminds him how young Jeongguk truly is, barely an adult, having to bear the responsibilities of his career and titles. Weighing so heavily on him that it tugs him down deeper while he keeps pushing his way to the top. 

They’ll figure this out, he reassures himself in bed as his eyes close on their own accord.

Jeongguk might not remember anything tomorrow morning but Taehyung will definitely remember how much is at stake, how much this relationship means for both of them and he’s going to do his best to make sure they don’t fuck it up again.

Chapter Text

The first thing that Jeongguk registers is that he’s in a lot of pain. A sharp spasm zaps through his head as he tries to wake up, causing him to keep his eyes clenched tightly. A low groan escapes him as he feels the soft material of the pillow he’s lying on.

Huh? When did he get home? The last thing Jeongguk remembers from last night is him on the dance floor, alcohol rushing through his system as his worries fly far, far away and all he can focus on is the blasting music thumping along his heartbeat. He’s sure that he was extremely drunk and barely able to walk so how did he end up here?

Slowly, his senses start to awaken with the rest of his body and the aroma of eggs being fried invades his nose coupled with the scent of something warm– maybe a vanilla or burnt sugar and shea butter combo but it’s nothing like the cotton musk reed diffuser Jeongguk has in every corner of his place. His eyelids feel like they weigh a ton as he tries to pry them open and he digs his fingers into the plush material of the velvet sofa he’s currently sleeping on.

His eyebrows furrow. Wait a minute. He owns a leather sofa, not a velvet one. But the only person he knows who owns a velvet sofa is—

“Ah!” he screams out when he opens his eyes and sees Taehyung’s face inches apart from his. The older’s eyes widen in surprise before he stumbles back. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I–” Taehyung blinks, putting his hand on his chest, “I was just checking to see if you were awake.”

Jeongguk feels his heartbeat in his ears as he tries to sit up. His body feels heavy, as if he ingested boulders for dinner last night but he’s pretty used to this situation and knows it’ll only get worse, so he better get used to it as soon as possible.

“Well, I am now ,” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He takes in his surroundings, confirming that yes, he’s somehow found himself in Taehyung’s apartment. He tries to retrace his steps that might have led him here but his brain only protests in reply, sending zaps of pain in protest. Thinking hurts too much right now. 

“Ow, my head fucking hurts,” he whines, rubbing his temples furiously. 

Taehyung clicks his tongue as he goes back to the kitchen. “I put some paracetamol on the table in front of you, but you should eat something before taking it,” he says, turning his back to the stove.

Jeongguk’s eyebrow raises at him even though he can’t see it. Why is Taehyung being so…nice? Letting him sleep on his couch and offering him medicine for his headaches? He doesn’t remember much about what happened last night, when and why the singer picked him up and took him home. He stares at his back for a moment as thoughts filter through the throbbing of his head. 

Oh my god. Drunk Jeongguk is known to be extremely horny. Did they–

“How do you like your eggs, Jeongguk?” Taehyung asks him, opening the door to his fridge.

Jeongguk’s blood runs cold. His mind is still not fully functional but he knows when this very familiar question is always asked. The infamous shameful morning after, of course.

Fuck, he and Taehyung hooked up, didn’t they? That’s why Taehyung is suddenly so polite and caring. He suddenly realises he’s not wearing his clubbing clothes from last night. The clothes cling to him a little tight and they smell of sweet vanilla, a scent he knows belongs to the older. 

Shit, shit shit. They totally fucked and his brain simply refuses to remember. 

“Jeongguk? I asked you how you like your–”

“Did we have sex last night?” Jeongguk interrupts him, trying to avoid his gaze.

When met with silence, his heart thuds faster as he finds the courage to look at Taehyung, who now stares at him with a gaping mouth.

“What the fuck ?” the singer almost yells, voice suddenly higher-pitched. “How can you– why would we– what ?”

Jeongguk watches his mouth open and close a couple of times as he searches for the words, cheeks and ears tinged a bright red. He takes a breath to compose himself before answering.

“How could you think that? Of course we didn’t!” He makes a face, clearly disgusted by the mere thought. “You were too drunk to even properly walk last night and too busy emptying your stomach in the toilet.” He turns away from him, shaking his head and the tips of his barely brushed hair swish with the movement. “And even if that wasn’t the case, I would never fuck you .”

The tone of his voice makes Jeongguk scoff before he breathes out in relief. “You don’t have to make it sound like I have the sex appeal of a basement-dwelling incel,” he gets up slowly and winces when he sees the living room spin around him for a couple of seconds. 

“I’d rather take a vow of celibacy than fuck you,” he hears him snicker.

Jeongguk feels irritation seep into his body but finds he’s too exhausted to argue back. It’s early, he’s hungover as fuck and if Taehyung wants to be a brat, then fine. “We’ll see about that, precious,” is all he says before he trudges to the bathroom, his bladder seconds away from bursting. 

As his mind slowly clears up, he thinks about how he got here. Flashes of last night appear in his brain the harder he thinks but they disappear before he can make sense of them. Flushing the toilet, he realises he doesn’t have his toothbrush there. 

“Hey, do you have a spare toothbrush?” he pops his head out the door to ask, staring at Taehyung’s back as he juices some oranges. 

Taehyung turns to him, his hair messily spread across his forehead. “Yes, in the cabinet above the basin.”

Jeongguk nods in thanks. “And I’ll have an omelette with some salt and pepper, if that’s okay.”

The smell of an egg being fried wafts through the door as he brushes his teeth and his stomach makes a grumbling noise. He quickly rinses his mouth and walks to the kitchen, taking a seat on the breakfast table and waits for Taehyung to finish making his omelette.

A voice in his head unnecessarily points out how domestic all this is but he squashes it down. “Do you need my help?” he asks, awkwardly playing with his nails.

Taehyung shakes his head. “I’m almost done. Just set this plate and these glasses on the table.”

Jeongguk does as he’s told, almost letting out a gasp when his arm brushes Taehyung’s in the small space like he reverted back to being a clueless thirteen-year-old and not a whole ass adult. Get a grip , he chides himself. Taehyung helping you last night doesn’t change anything between you two. 

After all, he’d rather die than be with Jeongguk so why should he panic over a momentary touch?

He sees Taehyung gulp upon contact in his peripheral vision but the singer doesn’t say anything, focusing on his pan instead. Jeongguk leans against the back of his chair, staring out the nearby window to distract himself. It’s a nice sunny day out and he’s stuck inside the damn apartment with a man who hates his guts. Exciting . 

After the table is set and Jeongguk’s omelette is ready, the two sit on the high chairs and start eating in silence. The air is thick with unease and the dull throb in Jeongguk’s head worsens. 

He needs to get out of here.

“Oh, by the way,” Taehyung breaks the silence, gulping the food. “Your trainer kept calling your phone, so I thought I’d answer it and let him know where you are in case he was worried. I hope you don’t mind.”

Jeongguk blinks at him, his mind still processing sentences at a snail’s pace as his fork hangs in the air. 

“You…talked to Hobi hyung?”

Taehyung rests his chin on his fist. “I talked to someone named Hoseok, if that’s who you’re talking about. Very sweet guy.”

Taehyung talked to Hoseok. Hoseok , his trainer and best friend. While Jeongguk’s ass was fast asleep. 

Taehyung told his hyung that Jeongguk slept over at his place last night. He’s pretty sure he knows exactly what went through his best friend’s mind when Taehyung introduced himself.

Oh my god, Hobi hyung is never letting him forget this, even when they’re eighty and rotting away.

Jeongguk nods in reply before taking a sip of the orange juice. “So, what happened last night? Aside from the hot, steamy sex, of course.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance but Jeongguk can see the faint pink on his cheeks. “Quit being gross. You got very drunk, dropped your phone somewhere and were about to engage in yet another fight before I saved your ass. A bartender found your phone and called the last call you made, which unfortunately happened to be me. I picked you up, brought you to my apartment since you couldn’t remember the passcode to yours and after you threw up, gave you some paracetamol before you went to sleep.”

Jeongguk chews thoughtfully as he listens to Taehyung’s narration of last night. He studies the older’s expression. Why does it look like he’s hiding something from him? Can his memory just cooperate with him already? This is exhausting. 

“Why didn’t you call Namjoon hyung?” The question had been haunting him since the moment he gained consciousness. Why did Taehyung go through all the trouble when they could’ve simply dumped the whole thing on his manager in a single call? It’s not like Jeongguk is Taehyung’s responsibility, especially since their contract is about to end soon. Bitterness fills his heart with the reminder.

Taehyung looks at his plate, piercing his omelette with his fork distractingly. “It was past 1 a.m. I know how hard our poor managers work, it didn’t feel right to wake him up at such an ungodly hour and make him handle a drunk Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk bites his lower lip before speaking. “But you still did it. You could’ve ignored the call or told the bartender to fuck right off. Yet you picked me up and–” Took care of me sounds too intimate, too personal for their relationship. “You tolerated me in that state.” 

There. Tolerated is a safe word. Doesn’t open up an unnecessary can of worms.

Taehyung doesn’t indulge him with an answer, choosing to simply shrug in reply instead. 

A warm feeling settles in Jeongguk’s chest. Taehyung took care of him in that state even though he didn’t have to. Not only that but he also cooked breakfast this morning and talked to his trainer so he wouldn’t worry. 

Even though Jeongguk has never treated him well, even though they still despise each other.

Jeongguk stares at him for a few seconds before sighing. “Thank you, Taehyung, for what you did last night and for breakfast this morning. You saved my reputation once again.” He tries to sound as sincere as he can, really wanting Taehyung to know how much he means it. 

Taehyung shakes his head, his expression thoughtful before meeting his face. “You– you defended me last night.”

Jeongguk raises his eyebrows. He defended Taehyung? From whom? Did something happen during the fight?

Taehyung sees his expression and clicks his tongue. “You don’t remember anything, do you? You got involved in a fight last night and when I tried to get involved the guy insulted me.” He suddenly looks away, biting the inside of his cheek and the tone of his voice drops to a softer one. “Then you– uh– you held his collar and threatened to knock his teeth out if he spoke to me like that again.”

Jeongguk feels heat rush to his cheeks. How can he not recall doing any of that? 

“Oh,” is all he can reply, scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, not looking at him. The air feels incredibly awkward. “So, thank you for that. And I helped you out last night because you did that so…consider us even.”

Jeongguk almost cringes at that. He knows they hate each other but god, does Taehyung have to say it as if Jeongguk defended him so the older can owe him something? He isn’t that terrible of a guy, is he? 

“But still,” he says, ignoring the last part of Taehyung’s reply, “you didn’t have to do all this,” he gestures to the plate in front of him and the couch where he was just resting. “Especially since our contract is annulled now,” he adds in a low voice.

Taehyung meets his gaze again, looking hesitant. “About that,” he starts, catching Jeongguk’s full attention.

The singer pauses before speaking, putting down the fork in his hand and lacing his fingers together, as if trying to prolong what he’s trying to say. Jeongguk is about to burst from anticipation.

“I thought about our situation last night and realised that it’s not fair for me to take such a big decision all by myself. The contract was for both of our benefits and terminating it without having a mutual discussion wasn’t the right thing for me to do.” His eyes bore into Jeongguk’s. “What you did to me yesterday morning, standing me up just cause you were hungover wasn’t right either, but I should’ve had a talk with you about it instead of barging off like a child.”

“No, Taehyung,” Jeongguk interrupts his speech, shaking his head vehemently. “Your anger wasn’t misplaced at all. I behaved like an ass yesterday and there are no two ways about it. I’ve been acting irresponsibly for the past few weeks actually, and it’s affecting everyone around me.” He thinks of his dad telling him about Ferrari thinking of replacing him and feels guilt weighing down on him. He truly has been acting unreasonably and it has caused problems not just for Taehyung but for his father, Namjoon and Hoseok as well. 

“I don’t blame you for wanting to bail out at all, if I’m honest.” He rubs his temples. “You might be unbearable or bratty all the time but you’ve never shirked off your responsibilities or disrupted my work or routine like I did. So I understand you not wanting to have a discussion with me yesterday or even now.” He closes his eyes. “I’m really sorry, I truly am.”

When he opens them, Taehyung’s lips are pursed and his expression seems conflicted. He takes a few moments to collect his thoughts before speaking. “If– and only if you agree to respect our discussed times and schedules and act less like an asshole, we don’t have to cancel our arrangement. This is beneficial to both of us and I don’t want to end it just because of one incident. We can continue pretending to date exactly according to the contract.”

Jeongguk’s slow brain takes more time than normal to absorb what Taehyung said but when it finally does, it feels like a huge wave of euphoria crashes through him. His heart thuds faster and he can’t curb the smile that spreads across his face, a few seconds away from jumping up and down in joy. “Yeah? You really mean it?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes but Jeongguk can see the hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t, I promise,” he breathes out. He has no idea what happened for Taehyung to do a whole 180 degree turn overnight but he surely isn’t complaining. It’s unlike the older to do something for Jeongguk’s betterment, especially since he doesn’t know the racer’s career is on the line with this fake relationship.

But it doesn’t matter. Taehyung and him are still fake dating and he can somehow use this to convince his team that he’ll do more than well at the first Grand Prix this week. 

“One more condition,” Taehyung speaks, grabbing him out of his thoughts, “there’s one more thing you need to do so I don’t cancel the contract.”

Jeongguk senses the teasing in his tone and raises his eyebrow. “Oh yeah? And what’s that, precious?” he asks, the nickname slipping out easily, as if becoming a habit. Damnit. 

Taehyung’s lips lift up into a smirk as he folds his arms across his chest. “You need to get on your knees and beg for my forgiveness.”

Surprise fills Jeongguk and he isn’t sure if Taehyung is joking or not. Knowing this psychopath, he probably isn’t. But he doesn’t know Jeongguk and no matter how desperate he is for this contract, he’s for sure not going to let the older stomp on his pride like that.

He tilts his head and matches his smirk. “Oh sweetheart,” he drops his voice to a whisper and he moves his head closer, smelling the shampoo in Taehyung’s hair. “I drop down to my knees for only one thing. And it’s definitely not to beg for forgiveness.” 

Taehyung gulps before moving back, his cheeks aflame as he coughs awkwardly. He’s retreated and Jeongguk will take that as a fucking win. “Whatever. I already texted Seokjin that I didn’t want to end the contract last night anyway.”

Jeongguk grins at his flustered state. “That’s sweet of you,” he teases, cutting a piece of an omelette before putting it in his mouth. 

Taehyung sips his juice, gaze fixed straight ahead. “I posted a picture of you sleeping last night on my Instagram.”

Jeongguk gulps down the morsel in his mouth before grabbing his phone to check, it barely having any charge. He’s about to open the app when he sees his father’s message from this morning.

I talked to the team and it looks like they saw your performance on the simulator yesterday. They still believe you’ve got it and they want to give you another chance. Don’t waste it son, I know you can make me proud. 

Relief floods Jeongguk’s body like a dam burst open. He gets to race in his first F1 championship. His team still wants him. He still has his career. 

“Jeongguk, are you alright?” he hears Taehyung ask, something akin to concern in his voice.

Jeongguk raises his head from his phone and stares at him through his blurry vision. When did he start tearing up? He blinks the moisture out of his eyes and smiles at him. “Everything is just fine.”

Taehyung looks a little confused but he returns the smile nonetheless. Jeongguk feels a little flutter in his tummy. “That’s really good to hear.”

♬♬♬

Jeongguk can’t fucking believe he did it. 

The crowd roars around him and his legs feel like they’re made up of jelly as he almost staggers out of his car, the sudden temperature change making him shiver.

Or maybe it’s the rush of adrenaline flowing through his body as he hears his name coming in 3rd place that’s causing all these bizarre reactions in his body.

Jeon Jeongguk, 21 years old. Placed 3rd in the Bahrain Grand Prix, his first F1 race ever.

He’s barely able to walk as he trudges away from his car, unlatching his helmet. The crowd’s shouts reach a deafening level as he takes it off and shakes his sweaty hair. His neck throbs but he ignores it.

Fucking hell, he did it. 

Qualifying for the final race when it’s your first time participating in the championship is hard enough but coming in top 3? It’s fucking unheard of. Jeongguk might be terrible at managing his life but he’s damn good at driving a car.

He blinks as the harsh spotlights of the race track glare at him. He suddenly feels dizzy; the adrenaline from the race must’ve started wearing off, and paired with the exhaustion of his non-stop practice during the entire week, he feels like he’ll collapse any second now. 

Just as his legs are about to give out he feels arms engulfing his entire body.

Namjoon’s signature perfume invades his nose along with the smell of Hoseok’s body lotion and it’s all he can do to let go and fall limp in their arms. The two hold him tightly as they hug him and Jeongguk’s eyes close. The noise around him starts to fade out as the voices of his best friends come trickling in. 

“You did it, you fucking did it, champ!” Hoseok whispers, his voice clogged with tears, making him smile.

“I’m so proud of you, Gguk,” Namjoon’s warm voice fills his ears. “Coming in third in your first race, you’re a legend.”

They step back after a couple of minutes and Jeongguk is met with the teary eyes of his parents. “Oh, my Jeonggukie,” his mother hugs him next, placing kisses on both of his cheeks. “You did so well, my darling.” 

He wipes her tears with a smile on his face. “Thank you, Eomma.” His heart beats a little fast as he meets his father's gaze, unsure of what to expect. He knows he’s done well; hell, no one expected him to rank even top 10 in his first race, but he still values his father’s opinion over anything and everything. 

Will his father be disappointed that he didn’t rank first?

“You did good, son,” his father praises him, eyes moist. He hugs him from the other side. “I knew you could do it.”

Jeongguk breathes out in relief before flashing his father a smile. He did it. He didn’t disappoint or embarrass his father.

He lets out a chuckle. “Fuck, this was stressful. I need a drink,” he declares, his father shaking his head with a smile on his face. 

“I’d suggest a shower before that,” his mother says, scrunching her nose in disgust and moving away from him. “You reek of sweat.”

“Eomma!” he pouts, lips jutting out more when everyone else starts laughing. Fine, a shower and then a drink and then sleep for the next three days. 

“The shower will also have to wait,” Namjoon says. “You have to meet with the rest of the team first, who’d like to congratulate you on your performance. Then you have a couple of minutes to wash your face before your interview.”

Jeongguk groans in complaint. He’s been a reporter magnet from the second he landed in Bahrain. Every news channel wants to get an interview or his picture, dying to know the story behind the mysterious son of the world-famous retired racer Jeon Joohyuk. And he knows it’s about to get much worse due to his rank on the leaderboard. 

“Jeongguk, you know this is standard procedure for every top 3 contestant,” Namjoon chides him, ruffling his damp hair. 

“With great power comes great responsibility, baby,” Hoseok teases, slapping him lightly on his back. Jeongguk sends him a glare. 

After a quick meeting with the rest of his team, who couldn’t stop praising his spectacular performance, and freshening up, Jeongguk is ushered to the room where all the interviews take place. The overly excited shouts of the reporters asking their questions penetrate through the door. The racer cringes as he waits for his turn.

“Can’t wait to take a nice five hour nap, hyung,” he whispers to Hoseok, who gives him a sympathetic look. 

“You deserve it, Jeongguk. You just need to finish this interview and then no one will bother you until the next Grand Prix.” 

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “You say this as if you won’t be banging at my door first thing in the morning for tomorrow’s training.”

Hoseok flashes him a shameless grin to which Jeongguk can’t help but laugh. His trainer’s gaze falls behind him and his eyes light up in recognition. “Hey there,” he greets.

Jeongguk turns and is met with a tall man who looks vaguely familiar. Shiny black hair, eyes the colour of dark chocolate and model-like facial features. Where has he seen this man before?

 He spots the identical Ferarri jacket he wears and it strikes him. “Mateo Alvarez, isn’t it?” he asks in English with a small smile.

Mateo grins at him, happy to be recognised. “That is correct,” he replies, extending his hand. “I’m your colleague and the other racer from our team. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jeongguk. Please correct me if I’m pronouncing it wrong.”

Jeongguk’s smile widens as he takes it. Not many people here bother to ask him how his name is pronounced and even though it’s common courtesy, it makes him a little more comfortable in the other’s presence. “Your pronunciation is good enough,” he says with a nod. “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Alvarez. This is my trainer and friend Jung Hoseok.”

He shakes Hoseok’s hand as well. “Please, call me Mateo. I’m just four years older than you and with the performance you showed everyone today, you’re the one who deserves all the respect.”

Jeongguk chuckles, cheeks a little warm. Even though Mateo came in eighth today, he’s a good racer and much more experienced than him. Accepting compliments was never his strong point, especially coming from more qualified racers.

“Thank you. That’s very sweet, coming from you.” 

“Of course,” Mateo smiles at him. “You know, now that we’re going to be together almost every weekend, we should get to know each other over a couple of drinks soon. Are you free after this?”

Jeongguk hesitates, his plan of getting under the blankets and disconnecting from the world for a few hours flashing in his brain. “I’m afraid not, sorry,” he smiles sheepishly, hoping the other doesn’t push it.

Thankfully, he doesn’t. “That’s alright, we have a lot of time to spend together,” he says, stepping closer to him. Jeongguk blinks at the sudden shift in proximity. “Between you and I, I’m glad Ferarri chose you. The guy before you was extremely boring and way older.” He not-so-subtly runs his gaze along Jeongguk’s body, taking the time to appreciate his shoulders and chest. “But you, you’re so young, so attractive and so…fun. We’ll make a great pair, you’ll see.” He winks at him and steps back. “I’ll see you around, Jeongguk. Good luck with your interview,” he says and leaves before Jeongguk can barely react, frozen to the ground, stunned.

“What the hell just happened?” he hears Hoseok ask, their gazes fixed on Mateo’s retreating back.

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Did he just– was he flirting with me?”

Hoseok blinks in confusion. “I have no idea.”

They don’t have any time to ponder over it, however, since Namjoon suddenly appears before them, a serious look on his face. “You’re on in two, Jeongguk. Remember, no unnecessarily long answers, no giving out too much personal information and get out of there in five minutes tops.”

Jeongguk barely gets one second to nod before he’s ushered inside the room full of reporters and cameramen, ready with their high-tech equipment to catch the smallest slip or mistake Jeongguk makes during his interview. He feels like prey waiting to be devoured by his predators as he takes a seat assigned to the first three racers in that day’s race. Their eyes pierce into him and the hallowed LED lights above him are now blazingly hot. 

A nervous shiver travels down his spine and he feels his palms dampening. Namjoon and Hoseok’s encouraging smiles behind the audience and directly in his front view slightly relaxes him. He clears his throat before speaking. “Good evening everyone. My name is Jeon Jeongguk and I’m from South Korea. Some of you may not know me yet but by the end of this championship, I assure you you’ll never be able to forget.”

A chorus of claps and cheers echoes through the room, big grins on the audience’s faces. Some might call his way of speaking too arrogant or premature but Jeongguk simply calls it self-confidence. He’s sure of his capabilities and knows he possesses immense talent so even if he comes off as egocentric, he doesn’t really mind. 

“Now, I’ve been informed that we only have 5 minutes together, so without further ado, let me hear the first question.”

The reporters come to life and immediately raise their hands, their voices begging for Jeongguk to choose them overlapping with each other. The racer internally cringes; this is the last thing anyone wants to go through after spending the entire stressful weekend behind the wheel. Couldn’t they be given at least an hour of rest before being bombarded with silly, repetitive questions? 

Jeongguk chooses a reporter from the front row, who smiles at him sweetly before nodding his head in thanks. “So Mr. Jeon, how does it feel to come in third in your first race itself? Not only are you the youngest qualified F1 driver but you’ve already proven your abilities to the world today.”

Jeongguk gives him a little smirk before replying. “Coming in top 3 was something that I strived for since I wanted to let everyone know not to underestimate me. And as much as it is an encouragement boost, it’s also a reminder that I can always do better until I do my best. So even if I’m immensely proud of myself for doing so well in my first race, I’ll make sure to improve myself and work harder for a better performance in the next one.”

The reporters give their nods of assent and some even clap and cheer at his answer. Jeongguk sneaks a look at Namjoon, who instantly understands what he’s asking and gives him his own nod of approval. 

“Next question?”

He and the reporters go back and forth for the next few minutes, Jeongguk having to answer basic questions about how he’s preparing for the next race, what he thinks he lacked in this race and how he’s finding Bahrain until now. 

Just when he feels like he’s going to collapse, both from exhaustion and boredom, he sees Namjoon signalling him to wrap it up. Trying to hide the gleeful smile fighting to appear on his face, he lets out a sad sigh before answering the next question.

“I’m afraid our time is almost up, everyone,” he announces to the utter dismay of the reporters, who groan and whine as if Jeongguk was incredibly entertaining for the past three and a half minutes. “I only have time for one last question.”

Hands raise and his name emerges from the audience’s mouths the second he finishes his sentence and Jeongguk chooses the first reporter he lays his eyes on to spare himself the headache.

The girl, who looks a little nervous as she stands up and receives the microphone, smiles at him a little shyly before speaking. “Hello, Mr. Jeongguk. I’m a big fan.”

Jeongguk gives her a small smile and nods his head in a silent thanks.

She visibly gulps before continuing. “My question is a little bit personal,” she smiles sheepishly, making Jeongguk sit up straighter. Ugh, a personal question. Couldn’t she just ask him something generic like what’s the first thing he’s going to do to celebrate his win?

“Recently, you announced you and Kim Taehyung were dating–”

“He’s my fiance, actually,” Jeongguk interrupts, internally cringing as soon as the words come out. Why did he have to sound so defensive? She wasn’t wrong so why go into so much detail?

The girl doesn’t seem to mind, her lips tilting upwards into a grin. “Right, of course. My apologies. You and Taehyung recently announced your engagement, to everyone’s immense surprise, owing to your antagonistic relationship according to the media. Were you two always hiding your relationship behind the hate or was it real at the start?”

Jeongguk lets out a little laugh, trying to form a good answer that won’t destroy all the lies they’ve built up until now. “Well, Taehyung and I did disagree on a few things in the beginning.” Using the word disagree seems like the safest option until now, even if it’s far from the truth. “But then I got to know him better and realised what a great person he is, and things just went uphill from there.” He forces a smile on his face that he hopes resembles someone who’s lovesick.

The reporter nods at his answer and Jeongguk is just about to end the interview when she follows up with another question. “What changed, may I ask? What’s one thing that made you think differently of Mr. Taehyung?”

Uh oh. Jeongguk’s fucked. How the hell is he supposed to answer what he likes most about Taehyung when he doesn’t find a single thing bearable about him? 

His brain racks for an answer as the audience stares at him expectantly with their cameras focused right on his face. This is the first time either of them has talked about their relationship in front of a live audience and cameras so he knows that it needs to not just be good but memorable enough to grace the headlines of media outlets and gossip blogs for the next few days at least. 

“Oh man, where should I start?” he chuckles as though he has a whole ass list of qualities in his head, when in reality his brain refuses to give a answer. 

Think, think! He reminds himself to stick to the truth as closely as possible so his answer seems authentic, but it’s hard to when he and Taehyung have been at each other’s throats the second they met and haven’t really shared any heartwarming moments together.

Until a few nights ago.

“I love every single thing about Taehyung, the good and the bad,” he starts, glancing subtly at Namjoon who barely shows any expression as he waits for his answer. “But my favourite quality is definitely his kindness. The love and care Taehyung has for everyone around him is simply immeasurable and he displays it with so much genuineness, without expecting it back.” He thinks of Taehyung taking care of him while he was drunk and how he’d do anything to keep his grandmother happy. “The first time he took care of me, we weren’t even on friendly terms yet. But that’s just how pure his heart is, looking after people who have or might never do anything for him in return. And when I slowly got to see more of that side of him, I was a goner.”

The audience lets out dreamy sighs and a few awws here and there and it’s enough incentive for Jeongguk to wrap up the interview before someone asks him something else about his relationship with Taehyung.

Namjoon and Hoseok meet him outside the interview room, looking equally exhausted as he feels. It’s a reminder that they have to keep doing this same routine for the next nine or so months now and he just wants to curl up in bed without thinking about any of it.

“How was the answer?” he whispers the second he stands in front of them.

Namjoon gives him a little smile. “It was perfect.”

“Too perfect,” Hoseok butts in, a subtle smugness in his tone. 

Jeongguk narrows his eyes at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

His best friend shoots him a grin. “You know, for someone who claims to hate Taehyung’s guts, you sure do have a lot of nice things to say about him.”

The racer takes a breath and opens his mouth to argue but Namjoon steps in. “Alright, that’s enough. Now Jeongguk, you need to rest up as much as possible so you can be on time for training tomorrow. No partying tonight, you understand?”

Jeongguk’s bottom lip juts out but he nods obediently, almost flying to his room with how fast his feet take him.

Only when he’s taken a relaxing bath and his eyes are two seconds away from shutting under the covers does he think of what Hoseok said earlier. He only answered what he thought of Taehyung after he let him stay over that night even though he had no obligation to. Most of what he said was exaggerated to fit their narrative. So what the hell was his trainer yapping about?

Nevermind , he thinks as he drifts off to sleep. It’s not like what he said is going to change anything between him and Taehyung anyway.

♬♬♬

@lovevgguk:

the way jeongguk speaks about taehyung in the softest voice…i’m going to cry

@jeongguksvroom:

did y’all see how quickly he corrected the reporter? ‘we’re engaged’ we lost him you guys </3

@ikisstaehyungie:

You all will call me a miserable hater again but did anyone else think the answer was too generic and rehearsed?

@taeggukforever:

taehyung took care of jeongguk even when they hated each other which made jeongguk fall for him :( just fell to the floor they’re literally the cutest couple ever

“Taehyung? Tae, are you even listening to me?” Jimin’s voice pierces through his thoughts, failing to grab his attention away from his Twitter feed.

“Hm? Yes, I am,” Taehyung mutters distractedly without looking at him, his finger continuously scrolling and only stopping to read when he sees a tweet about him and Jeongguk.

He hears Jimin sigh before his phone is snatched out of his hands. Taehyung lets out a whine in protest and he sends the perpetrator a glare, who has a least bothered expression on his face that he’s for sure learnt from his boyfriend. 

“Give me back my phone!” the singer lunges forward just after Jimin puts it out of his reach, staring at the screen with narrowed eyes.

“What are you so busy with– oh,” he pauses when he sees the tweets on Taehyung’s feed. He hands back his phone with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Looks like you saw what Jeongguk said about you in his interview.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes as he locks his phone and places it on the table next to his sofa. It’s a beautiful day outside but Jimin and Taehyung just wanted to spend time together in peace without having to constantly look behind their shoulder for paparazzi. They’re hanging out without Yoongi and Seokjin after a while now but he and Jimin gel really well so they’re having fun together, even if it means only lazing on the sofa with music blasting through the speakers in the background. 

“Hard not to when it’s plastered on every corner of the internet,” Taehyung replies while lying back on the furniture, throwing his feet on Jimin’s lap. “He said one nice thing about me, wonder why everyone is acting like he confessed his love for me by composing a poem or something.”

“Because it’s you two,” Jimin sighs exasperatedly as if Taehyung just doesn’t get it . “Every time a new couple is announced the internet goes gaga over it. But when it’s two gay men in a country like ours, one of which is an F1 prodigy in making and the other an up and coming talented singer, it’s obvious everyone will spend all their time hyping up your interactions and analysing every single minute detail about your relationship. It’s exactly why Seokjin and Namjoon hyung came up with this idea in the first place, remember?”

Taehyung clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Whatever. It’s really not a big deal since what he said was all a big, fat lie in front of the cameras.” He notices his tone getting a little sulky and gets even more irritated at himself. What did he expect? For Jeongguk to say something nice about him and mean it? When have they done anything nice for each other?

“Was it though?” Jimin asks, tracing his finger on Taehyung’s ankle bone. “Do you really think what he said was a complete lie?”

The question makes Taehyung’s head tilt to the side in confusion. “Of course,” he answers, voice unsure. “I’ve never been nice to him.”

“You have, though,” Jimin retorts back, giving him a pointed look. “You took care of him a few nights ago, didn’t you? Even though he was completely wasted and it was deep into the night.”

Taehyung opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times before replying. “So what? I only did it because I had no choice.”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “But you did do it, no matter what reason. You made sure he was alright and you even fed him breakfast the next morning.” Taehyung raises his eyebrow at him and he smirks in reply. “The biggest advantage of being the common link between our groups is the non-stop flow of gossip I get from both sides.”

The teasing tone evokes a smile from Taehyung too, who shakes his head. “I still don’t understand where you’re getting at.”

Jimin lets out a loud groan and chucks the nearest pillow at Taehyung’s face, who catches it in the nick of time. “Are you acting stupid on purpose? Jeongguk specifically mentioned that your caring and loving nature is one of his favourite traits. Although he was exaggerating on some parts which he needs to, don’t you think some part of the answer was based in truth?”

Jimin’s words have a lasting impact on Taehyung, who can’t speak for several moments after the other finishes talking. Doubts start creeping up his mind and cracks form on his carefully built persona of Jeongguk over the years. The racer did mention they weren’t on friendly terms the first time Taehyung took care of him and that he looks after people even if they haven’t done anything for him in return. It sounds a little too familiar to the night they spent together and Taehyung chews on his bottom lip thoughtfully until he tastes blood. 

What if what Jimin is saying has a little truth to it? Did Jeongguk truly mean some of his answer, even if it was just a tiny portion of it?

“Taehyung,” Jimin breaks him out of his thoughts with a gentle voice, “I do not know what happened between the two of you that led to so much hatred developing in your relationship. But what I do know is how both of you are two of the nicest, most loving people I’ve ever met, who have a lot more in common than you think. I suggest sitting down and talking it out like the two mature adults you are. I know you both have a date this Wednesday– again, best friend privileges– so you have a great opportunity to do it then. Just don’t start arguing, we don’t want a repeat of the French restaurant fiasco,” he finishes, rolling his eyes again.

Taehyung thinks over it for a couple more seconds before letting out a defeated sigh. “Fine, I’ll think about it. But no promises.” He narrows his eyes at Jimin. “I truly hope you’re also lecturing him like this and it’s not just me.”

Jimin chuckles. “Oh, believe me, I am. I talk about you more often than not with him and it’s driving him crazy.” He shakes his head, and Taehyung can see the fondness in his eyes for his best friend. “But you’ll try, won’t you?” he asks, expression suddenly serious.

“I don’t understand why you’re so adamant– ow! Fine! I will, I will,” Taehyung winces when Jimin slaps his exposed knee. He rubs the spot with his lips jutted out, curving into a smile when Jimin giggles at his pouty face.

♬♬♬

“A mug painting cafe? Seriously ?” he hears Jeongguk whisper the second they enter through the door and take a look around, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“And what about it?” Taehyung turns his head to snap back at him, only to realise that Jeongguk, in the past few seconds, moved closer to him and was now standing right behind him. Their faces are inches apart, close enough for Taehyung to see his reflection in those doe eyes.

Oh.

“Nothing, just that in our days spent apart I almost forgot how boring you are,” Jeongguk shrugs, not moving away from him. 

Taehyung smells his minty breath and his stomach involuntary somersaults. “ In our days spent apart? That’s very Jane Austen of you, Jeongguk.” He pushes his lower lip slightly and bats his eyelashes. “Aw, don’t tell me you missed me while you were away.”

Taehyung thinks he imagines Jeongguk’s gaze flitting to his pout for less than a millisecond. “Not at all,” he breathes out, voice lowering for no reason. His lips tilt upwards. “What about you, Taehyung? You thought about me this week?”

He fails to make sense of what’s going on. They’re arguing, as per usual. Throwing around petty words just to make the other feel inferior. So why does Taehyung’s breathing suddenly feel laboured and his knees struggle to support him when he registers Jeongguk’s deep tone?

“None of the thoughts I had about you were good,” Taehyung retorts, but realises the implications behind his words a second after Jeongguk does. A second too late.

The racer seems to step even closer somehow, his expression victorious. “Yeah? And what kind of bad thoughts did you have about me, precious?”

Taehyung’s neck almost hurts for how long he’s craned it to the side but he doesn’t dare to pull his eyes away from Jeongguk’s burning stare. He hears the footsteps of someone approaching them. “Wouldn’t you like to know, baby?” he whispers, tone borderline sultry while his lips slowly curl upwards into a smirk. 

He thinks he sees Jeongguk’s gaze darken in the slightest but has no time to ponder it since one of the cafe staff approaches them. 

“Taehyung–ssi, Jeongguk–ssi! It’s such a pleasure to have you here,” the girl says, almost vibrating in excitement. She doesn’t look more than 17 and has a permanent smile plastered on her face as she stares at them. She gives Jeongguk a wider smile. “My boyfriend is going to be so mad I met you in person today. He’s a really huge fan. He was supposed to be here, but he had a class right now that he couldn’t miss,” she laughs.

Jeongguk returns her smile charmingly. “Well, that’s not fair, is it? If you want, I’ll sign something for him.”

The girl’s eyes widen slightly. “You’d do that?”

“Of course! I was a fanboy once too, you know. And I would be really pissed off if Taehyung met a celebrity I really like before I could.” His arm wraps around Taehyung’s waist. 

Right. Taehyung is Jeongguk’s fiance now and Jeongguk is subtly reminding him to get in the role.

Taehyung rolls his eyes, trying to show some fondness in the action. “Oh, please. You can’t even stay mad at me for five minutes.”

“Oh yeah?” Jeongguk glares at him, expression as playful as his tone. “You wanna test that theory right now?”

Taehyung chuckles, squishing his cheeks before turning to the girl who looks at the two with heart eyes. “He’s all talk. Jeongguk’s the one who can’t last not talking to or cuddling me for more than two minutes.”

“You guys are so cute, seriously,” she giggles. “I can’t wait to tell my friends about meeting you.”

Good, Taehyung thinks as she leads them to one of the rooms reserved for them, tell your friends about how adorable we’re together too.

He’s pretty sure all of them own a social media account so the more news spreads of them being all couple-y, the better. 

“Here’s the private room you asked for,” she says, entering a room with a huge window and a cabinet half-filled with decorated mugs. A low-level table rests in the middle of the room, the type found in kindergarten, with two blank mugs and painting supplies neatly arranged on it. “Here are your mugs and painting supplies. Your room is reserved for two hours and I’ll come ten minutes prior to remind you of it. Have fun!” she wishes before flashing them a smile and closing the door on her way out.

“So…why do we need two hours to paint cups, again?” Jeongguk asks as he surveys the room sceptically, looking like a detective surveying a crime scene.

“God, have you never had fun in your life?” Taehyung protests, scrunching his eyebrows before realising they’re mostly in public. This room one hundred percent has cameras in it and someone might be outside the door with one ear stuck to it.

Jeongguk makes a face. “Your and my idea of fun is vastly different.”

Taehyung clicks his tongue, trying to maintain his calm. “But you haven’t even tried it yet!” he protests, his voice involuntarily pitching higher towards the end. 

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “I don’t have to try it to know how boring it is.”

Taehyung takes a breath to protest but shuts his mouth instead. Jeongguk is just acting difficult to piss Taehyung off but he won’t take the bait. Not today, spawn of satan. Instead, he chooses to go a different route to persuade him. 

“I think I know why you keep insisting this is lame,” he starts, a teasing edge to his voice. “It’s cause you’re a terrible artist.”

This catches Jeongguk’s attention, just like Taehyung expected it to. He curbs the satisfactory smile appearing on his face when the younger turns to him, arms crossed. “What did you just say?”

Taehyung shrugs. “I don’t know, I guess you’re terrible at art and don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of me. But I understand, Jeongguk. If you’re too ashamed then–”

“Who says I’m bad at art?” Jeongguk interrupts him, expression insulted. Bingo .

“Well– with the way you’re acting, I wouldn’t be too surprised.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m better than you .”

Taehyung’s eyebrow raises. “Show me, then.”

Jeongguk too raises his eyebrows. “Is that a challenge, Taehyung?”

The idol tilts his head. “If you have the balls to accept it.”

“Let’s do this then,” Jeongguk scoffs, rolling up the sleeves of his jacket. “We’ll see who's the better artist and let the girl be the judge when she comes to remind us.”

When Taehyung nods, Jeongguk takes to the floor in front of the table, a determined look on his face which immediately vanishes. “Dammit, if I’d known we were painting today, I wouldn’t have worn white.”

Taehyung checks out Jeongguk’s outfit for today. A grey denim jacket over a white tank top that’s tucked into matching baggy jeans that hug his waist. The singer looks plain in his beige cardigan with a deep V-neck that’s covered with layered necklaces and ripped jeans.

Taehyung lets out an exaggerated sigh and grabs one of the neatly folded aprons on the table. “Here, idiot,” he whispers, shoving the cloth in his chest. “Wear this.”

He sees splashes of pink on the apples of Jeongguk’s cheeks as he puts the garment on. Take that, you know-it-all.

It takes a while for them to inspect the materials given to them. Jeongguk studies the colours they’ve been given while Taehyung stares at the mug’s shape, trying to imagine how he’s going to design it. Maybe some abstract shapes or figures?

“You want to start on three?” Jeongguk breaks him out of his thoughts, with a paintbrush dipped in dark blue paint. 

Ugh, does he have to take everything so seriously?

Taehyung too grabs a small paintbrush next to him and coats it with white paint. “Ready.”

“1…2…hey!” Jeongguk interrupts his countdown as Taehyung starts painting before he reaches three, a mischievous smile on his face. “That’s cheating!”

“Oh come on, a second won’t make a difference,” Taehyung rolls his eyes and starts painting his mug white in slow strokes. 

“It does in a car race,” Jeongguk mutters, a pout in his voice as he grabs his mug and turns away from him. 

Taehyung sneaks a peek at him and confirms the jut of his bottom lip and his back facing him. “Well thank god I’m not a racer then, huh?” he smirks, enjoying Jeongguk’s sore loser personality. It’s rare for the younger to act and whine like a petulant child so he will make full use of the opportunity.

“Are you seriously going to face away from me the entire time?” he asks as he redips for some more paint. 

Jeongguk shrugs. “Yeah, I don’t want you to see the mug until it’s finished.”

Realising the other is taking their competition so seriously, Taehyung simply scoffs. “Alright, suit yourself. I’m going to win this thing anyways,” he baits, hoping to get a reaction.

When presented with silence, he too decides to ignore Jeongguk’s presence until he’s done. The two work quietly on their respective artworks, only the sounds of the clock ticking echoing in the room. Taehyung wished he hadn’t forgotten his earphones so he could have company while doing this.

He realises how un-date-like this whole date is, where the two people who are supposed to be engaged are sitting facing away from each other and haven’t spoken a word for more than an hour. Thankfully they’re sitting away from the window, so the paparazzi wouldn’t catch them like this.

Just as Taehyung’s about to add a few finishing touches to his design, he hears his phone ring in his pocket. Setting the brush down, he sees the screen lighting up with a picture of him and his grandmother on her birthday. He smiles at the picture for a couple of seconds before picking up the video call.

Taehyung’s smile drops the moment the picture disappears and his grandmother’s face comes into view. His grandmother smiles at him with the same warm smile as always but the difference in her contact picture taken just a couple of months ago and her condition right now is so startling that Taehyung feels his heart slow down and his palms start to sweat.

Her cheeks look more hollowed out than the last time he saw her five days ago, the lines on her face deepening at an alarming rate. She smiles at him radiantly but he can clearly see the exhaustion she’s failing to hide. It’s as if the cancer is sucking the life out of her too fast and Taehyung can’t do anything as she slips farther away from him.

“Baby bear, is everything alright?” he hears her ask as her expression slowly turns into concern, which is the last thing Taehyung wants her to feel. He gulps the ball of tears in his throat and tries a weak smile. 

“Of course it is, halmeoni. Why would you think otherwise?” He hopes his voice is more optimistic than he feels at the moment.

His grandmother doesn’t look like she believes him but her smile still returns and that’s all that matters to him. “Well then, where are you? Have you been too busy to see your frail old halmeoni?”

Taehyung shakes his head. “I’m never too busy for you, you know that,” he laughs, glancing at Jeongguk and surprised to see him already looking back at him. “I’m actually on a date.”

The half-lie comes out too easily and he feels guilt slowly burn in his chest.

It’s comical how fast his grandmother’s face lights up. “With Jeongguk?” Her eyes automatically start searching for him as if he’ll show up if he cranes her head hard enough.

“Who else?” he playfully rolls his eyes and turns the camera to his fake fiance, who looks a little caught off guard, setting the mug down immediately.

“Hey, halemoni,” he waves a little nervously. “How have you been?” he asks, scooting closer to Taehyung until their sides touch. 

“I’ve been good, darling. How have you been? Congratulations on coming third in the race last weekend!” she exclaims, seemingly almost ready to jump up and down in excitement. 

Jeongguk appears shocked as he listens to her. “You– you watched me race?”

His grandmother looks at him as if the answer is obvious. “Of course I did! How could I miss it?”

Taehyung too feels a little stunned since his grandmother never showed any interest in the sport before. “Halmeoni, I didn’t know you were into F1.” He laughs a little at the imagery of his cute little grandmother screaming at the TV for cars to go faster.

She waves his hands in dismissal. “I wasn’t before but now that Jeongguk is a part of the family, we should all support him in every way we can, right?”

Taehyung peeks to see Jeongguk’s reaction and his heart clenches the tiniest bit when he sees his eyes are moist. “Thank you, halmeoni,” he says in a shaky voice, throat clearing at the end. “That’s very sweet of you.”

She gives him a sweet smile. “It wasn’t just me. Taehyung’s mother was also watching it with me, although I still don’t think she understood much of the sport.”

His grandmother and his mother watched Jeongguk’s race on Sunday? Even though they’ve only met him once. How attached have they gotten to the younger already? What the hell is Taehyung doing?

Jeongguk chuckles. “Don’t worry halmeoni. I’ll properly explain it to her the next time we meet.”

“Which I hope is very soon,” his grandmother replies with a pointed look. “Where are you two, anyway?”

“We’re at a mug painting cafe,” Taehyung answers.

A gleeful smile spreads on her face. “That’s such a wonderful idea! Why were you two sitting so far apart though?”

Taehyung’s heart skips a beat as he tries to think of an answer but as usual, Jeongguk beats him to it. “We were actually having a friendly competition to see who did better,” he smiles goodnaturedly as if he wasn’t willing to start a war before just because Taehyung started a second earlier. “And we thought it’s best that we keep our designs a surprise until we were done.”

We decided? Or just you? Taehyung curbs the urge to scoff. What a people pleaser.

“I would like to see them, if you two are done,” his grandmother requests, staring at the two expectantly.

Taehyung and Jeongguk glance at each other hesitantly. “I’m done,” Taehyung announces, staring at his cup on his other side.

“Me too,” Jeongguk replies, reaching out to grab his mug.

The two present their mugs at the same time and Taehyung nearly drops his in shock.

What the actual fuck.

His grandmother gasps as he stares at Jeongguk’s mug and Taehyung, albeit begrudgingly, feels the same. “How did you–” he cuts himself off, staring at the dark blue night sky and the black silhouette of forest trees. 

Jeongguk gives him a smug smile. “So what were you saying, earlier? Something on the lines of I guess you’re terrible at art and don’t want to embarrass yourself–

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Taehyung replies irritatedly and crosses his arms across his chest. Seriously, how is Jeongguk better than him at everything? 

“Show me yours, Taehyungie,” he hears his halemoni speak and his cheeks warm up. He places his painted mug next to Jeongguk’s and immediately feels pathetic. While Jeongguk drew a wonderful scenery, all he did was draw a bunch of shapes like a five year old.

“I know it’s stupid, okay?” He jabs a finger in Jeongguk’s shoulder. “You win. Happy?”

Jeongguk laughs and shakes his head. Taehyung seethes even more. “Aww sweetheart, you’ll always be the winner to me,” he smiles, fingers gently pinching the older’s cheek.

Taehyung is extremely confused as to why Jeongguk is not already gloating for a second before he realises. 

His grandmother is still on call. Fuck .

He immediately drops his annoyed expression in exchange for a playful eye roll. “Alright, alright. Quit pitying me.”

“Yours is adorable too, Taehyungie,” his grandmother interrupts, voice and expression dripping with fondness at their interaction. “But I have to crown Jeongguk as the winner.”

Taehyung pouts for a second before chuckling. “Alright, you win this time baby,” he grins at Jeongguk, who sends a grin back. 

“And what shall I receive as a prize?”

Taehyung lets out an offended gasp. “Why would you want a prize when you already have me?”

Ugh, all this sweetness is giving Taehyung cavities. He might have to get himself checked for diabetes after this date.

Jeongguk laughs. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” he raises his arms in surrender before getting up. “I’m going to search for a toilet, you and halmeoni can talk.” He plants a small kiss in his hair as he leaves and Taehyung has to purposely ignore the flutter in his stomach at the gesture.

The sound of the door clicking allows him to exhale properly. Taehyung’s chest was all tight and weird every second Jeongguk was sitting next to him and smiling in that way. 

“I’m just so happy, you know,” his halmeoni provides a needed distraction. She lets out a blissful sigh. “Seeing you in such a wonderful relationship with such a sweet man…you have no idea how proud I am of you two, Taehyungie.” She takes a laboured breath and he’s once again reminded how quickly her body gets tired now, how even a small thing takes a huge chunk of energy from her already frail body. “I saw his interview, you know. The way he spoke that day, how his favourite thing about you is your kindness and caring personality– I’m so glad you two have each other. Especially when I’m gone–”

“Halmeoni,” he interrupts her, feeling the familiar burn in his throat and at the back of his eyes. “You’re not– I don’t want you to talk like that.” She opens her mouth to protest but he just can’t hear it or accept it. Not yet. “Please.”

She purses her lips as a wave of guilt washes over him. How is going to be able to tell his grandmother about the inevitable break up? How can he tell her it was all a lie fabricated to keep her and his label happy? He can’t crush the hopes on her face, not when she thinks Jeongguk will be taking care of her when she won’t be able to.

How can he tell her he’s going to be all alone when all this ends? No grandmother, no loving fiance. All fucking alone.

He pulled out of his thoughts when he hears her cough harshly. “Halmeoni,” he breathes out, panicked. “Are you okay, should I–”

“I’m fine,” she cuts him off, sipping water slowly. “This is fine.”

It’s not , he wants to scream, wants to do nothing more than sob in her lap. Nothing is fine.

“I think you should rest, halemoni,” he suggests, not being able to stand seeing her like this. 

She gives him a nod followed by a smile. “You’re right, I will. You two have fun on your date, alright? And bring Jeongguk with you when you come to visit next time.”

Taehyung smiles back at her even though he feels his heart being crushed by a heavy stone. “Okay. We’ll see you soon, I love you.”

The room falls silent after she disconnects the call after saying it back. Taehyung feels hollow yet heavy on the inside at the same time. He feels helpless, he feels hopeless. More than anything, he’s fucking exhausted.

“Can you believe there’s not a single toilet in this whole– hey, are you alright?” Jeongguk asks, suddenly kneeling in front of him.

Taehyung meets his gaze and a stray tear rolls down his cheek. Jeongguk’s eyes flick to it for a second before they look back into his own. 

“I’m fine,” Taehyung says, wiping it off. His voice breaks at the end and he’s clearly not fine but Jeongguk simply nods and doesn’t press on, something he’s grateful for. 

He sees Jeongguk stare at their mugs together. “You know, now that I think of it, your mug isn’t that bad,” he says. 

Taehyung blinks at him. “Are you serious?” he asks, following his line of vision. The mugs truly have no comparison, both are vastly different in style. “You really think–” he turns back to him only to see a teasing amused expression on his face. “Oh you were making fun of me,” he complains, making Jeongguk laugh. “You’re such an asshole!” he yells, grabbing the still wet paintbrush and smearing pink paint across his cheek. 

Jeongguk’s smile drops in a second as he feels the paint drip from his cheek to one of the straps of his tank top, staining it a light pink. “Oh you’re dead,” he whispers and Taehyung hardly has any time to get up before he’s being chased by Jeongguk.

The two run around the table in the tiny room like little children, Taehyung yelping as Jeongguk barely misses him. “You can’t escape, Taehyung,” Jeongguk threatens him with a paintbrush in hand.

A laugh suddenly bubbles in Taehyung’s chest as he realises how stupid this all is. A minute ago he was crying over his grandmother’s deteriorating condition and now he’s giggling and being chased by Jeongguk out of all people. 

Jeongguk must’ve sensed his thoughts stray because he uses the perfect distracted moment to block one side and corner Taehyung against the wall with nowhere to go. 

The singer gulps, knowing he’s cornered but still tries one last time to run, only to be caught by Jeongguk’s arm wrapping around his waist, gripping it tightly. “Nice try,” Jeongguk whispers, a smirk forming on his lips. 

Air leaves Taehyung’s lungs as he realises how close they are again, finding themselves in such proximity once more. Rays of sunlight fall on Jeongguk’s face, making his piercings glint and giving his face a golden glow. He barely feels the slightly cold and wet stripe of paint on his cheek as Jeongguk paints it, his body pinned under the younger’s unwavering gaze. Usually, he’d gasp, throw a fit, but instead, Taehyung is entranced by Jeongguk’s gentle yet masculine features inches away from his gaze. 

“I–I have a photo shoot in 2 days,” he breathes out, his palms clenching and unclenching at his sides. “If I break out, I’m sending you the bill for my skincare.”

Jeongguk’s lips tilt upwards. “Sure, precious. Whatever you want.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows furrow. “You’re making fun of me again, aren’t you?” When Jeongguk’s smirk doesn’t change, his body moves forward on autopilot. He feels Jeongguk’s grip on his waist tighten as Taehyung brings his face closer to his cheek, breath shaky as he gently rubs his cheek along the racer’s, smearing paint on it.

Jeongguk looks a little dazed when Taehyung pulls back. “You’re so annoying,” he whispers before leaning forward the same way. Taehyung’s eyes flutter close as he feels Jeongguk mimic  the singer’s actions, rubbing some more paint on his clean cheek, his heady cologne invading Taehyung’s senses and disorienting him. 

The door suddenly bursts open and their gazes immediately turn to the girl from earlier, whose red face is enough proof of her embarrassment. “I uh–” she flicks her gaze between the two and Taehyung realises neither of them has moved from their position earlier and Jeongguk is still holding him by his waist. “Is this a bad time?”

She quickly avoids their gaze after posing the question and Taehyung feels bad for her. And maybe a little embarrassed himself. What must be going through the girl’s head now? Oh god, what does she think they were doing before she barged in?

“It’s not,” Taehyung replies quickly, saving everyone from the uncomfortable silence in the room. “We’re um–” he clears his throat, “we’re done with our mugs.”

“Wonderful!” she tries to sound enthusiastic. “Once you’re out of your aprons we can set them out to dry and then discuss if you’d like to buy them or keep them here to add to our growing collection.”

“Alright,” is all Jeongguk replies as he starts undoing his apron, prompting Taehyung to do the same. The three don’t maintain eye contact as they walk down the hallways towards the entrance. Taehyung sees his reflection in the window and feels humiliated once more. 

At least the articles will be fucking perfect tomorrow.

♬♬♬

Taehyung, as per usual, was absolutely right.

He wakes up to his Instagram account reaching 8 million followers and the picture he posted last night of him and Jeongguk together, matching streaks of paint on their cheeks while they smile, getting 1 million likes while he was snoring his ass off. Practically unheard of for someone like him, still an amateur in the music industry.

But that petty achievement wasn’t even close to being the main event. Taehyung receives Seokjin’s call informing him about the number of articles that were released based on the pictures the paparazzi took of them, running around the room with huge grins on their faces and also of them smearing paint on each other, something that he’s sure his manager relentlessly wants to teases him about. And then finally, he drops the bomb on him: Taehyung, for the first time in his career, ranked in the top 10 on Spotify’s weekly global chart. 

Taehyung feels the floor beneath him give away as he tries to digest the achievement that he never thought he’d achieve in his entire career, let alone without an album. “How?” is the only word he could reply with as he watches Seokjin slowly shake his head on video call, a fond smile on his face. 

“With Jeongguk’s win in last week’s race and his sweet answer about you in his interview, your streams have been increasing steadily. And once you posted that beautiful cover two days ago and all the media play from yesterday, it's no brainer why people are interested in you, Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung chews his lip for a moment before he replies. He doesn’t feel as blissful just yet, a thought constantly.nagging him. “All this success I’m getting, is it just because of Jeongguk?” He sees Seokjin’s smile drop. “I mean– what happens when we break up? Will I go back to how I was before all this?”

He watches Seokjin’s expression slowly change to a more solemn one, something Taehyung has often come across when his manager is two seconds away from giving him a lecture. He waits patiently as Seokjin collects his thoughts and has an idea of what he wants to say and rests his cheek on his palm. Taehyung knows he possesses talent, but who doesn’t really? What if he’s just leeching off of Jeongguk’s popularity and once it stops he goes back to being a nobody? He doesn’t think his self-esteem can take that.

“Taehyung, I say the following not just as an encouraging best friend but also as your manager who will not speak anything without having evidence to back it up. I’ve been with you since you posted your first cover, announced your first single and on your debut day. The day you approached me to be your manager I was already well settled in my career. You were extremely new and even though you had more than great family connections, you refused to use them. That was the point when I realised you were a kid who genuinely loved what you were doing and had a lot of faith in yourself. All you needed was a little guidance, a push that only helped you in places your talent could not.” 

He takes a breath and smiles at him. “I wouldn’t have agreed to take you as a client if I didn’t believe you were destined for greatness, Taehyung. It’s why I didn’t protest when you wanted to call off the PR relationship nor would I have minded if you hadn’t signed the contract in the first place. These methods might not be particularly moral but they will only help you gather an audience, the rest is all your passion and talent, Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung blinks away the tears gathered in his eyes. “Thank you, Seokjin hyung.” He feels a little mute at the moment, overwhelmed by the emotions flowing through him. 

“Anytime,” his fond smile is replaced by a mischievous one. “So when are we talking about the paparazzi pictures?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, already knowing this discussion was inevitable. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

His manager’s grin only widens. “I don’t know, Taehyung. With the way he spoke about you during his interview, you taking care of him while he’s drunk, you two grinning and laughing during your dates and not actively trying to kill each other for once…I’d say you’re starting to get along now.”

Taehyung scoffs and shakes his head. “Just because we smiled at each other on dates where we pretend to be in love doesn’t mean anything. We can’t stand each other even now.”

Seokjin makes an exasperated face. “You two are impossible. I give up. You both can kill each other for all I care. I’m done .”

“Hyung,” Taehyung interrupts his dramatic outburst, “do you really think– should I talk it out with Jeongguk?”

Seokjin is silent for a moment before nodding. “I really think you should. Not just because your chemistry when you two actually try is off the charts but also because I think this has been going on for way too long.”

Taehyung gulps. “What if he doesn’t want to talk though? What if Jeongguk is the exact type of person I think he is?”

“I highly doubt it, Tae, but if that’s true then you two can simply continue your current relationship just as it is. No one is going to force you to give it another try and I’ll personally see to it.”

“Fine,” Taehyung gives in, closing his eyes. “I’ll go to his training centre tomorrow and talk to him before he leaves for his next Grand Prix. It’ll be a nice way to interact as a couple in front of his team as well.”

Seokjin gives him a proud smile which is a welcome form of encouragement. “That’s a great idea, Taehyung. Good luck and let me know how it goes.”

♬♬♬

Taehyung stands in front of Jeongguk’s training centre in despair. 

He texted Jeongguk the second he started driving about an hour ago to let him know he’s visiting him but he still hasn’t received a reply. The glass door in front of him requires the authorised personnel’s fingerprint to enter and there’s no sign of the receptionist behind the desk so he has no choice but to stand there waiting for Jeongguk to see his text. 

The cool spring breeze blows past him and he hugs his jacket closer. It’s already been five minutes since he’s here and he contemplates going back and giving Jeongguk a call instead. 

No. Taehyung knows the moment he drives out of the parking lot he’s never going to bring this up with Jeongguk again. It took him a lot of courage and a sleepless night of thinking things over to decide to end this conflict once and for all and he’s not backing out today. He didn’t drive all the way here for nothing. 

Just as he’s about to go back and wait in his car, someone approaches the door. 

“Hey, do you need something?” he hears a man ask him and raises his head. 

Recognition fills the man’s eyes and they widen. “You’re Kim Taehyung, aren’t you?”

Taehyung gives him a smile and a nod. “Yes, I am! I’m here to meet Jeongguk, could you please open the door for me?”

The man hesitates for a second and it irritates Taehyung slightly. Is there something about him that screams untrustworthy? “You– does he not know you’re here?”

He curbs the urge to groan. Why is this guy acting like he’s head of security? “He doesn’t, actually. I’m paying him a surprise visit,” he lies, in case people start questioning why isn’t Jeongguk here to welcome his fiance.

After another moment of thinking the man nods and thankfully lets Taehyung inside. 

The moment the door closes behind him, Taehyung lets out a soft gasp. A huge Ferrari logo on the wall welcomes him as he steps inside, the words Ferarri Academy embossed right under it. He’s led through a short hallway that opens into the main lobby bathed in black and red. A door leading to a staircase and lift is on his right and a map of the whole academy is in front of him. He can see people scurrying around him in a hurry. Some wear red, black and white uniforms and some adorn the iconic Ferrari jackets Taehyung has often seen Jeongguk wear.

Which reminds him, he’s here for a reason. 

“Thank you for helping me,” he bows at him. “Would you have an idea where Jeongguk is at the moment?”

The man shakes his head. “I wouldn’t, but his trainer would. You could go to his office on the third floor and talk to him maybe.”

After thanking him once more, Taehyung waits for the lift that takes him to the third floor. A long hallway awaits him with three to four doors on each side. The second door he comes across is labelled as Jung Hoseok and Taehyung is about to knock when he hears a very familiar voice complain loudly. 

“He’s so annoying, hyung!” Jeongguk whines, causing Taehyung’s hand to pause in midair. Who the hell is Jeongguk talking about, being annoying? Is it him ?

The door doesn’t conceal much of their conversation and he can even hear someone, presumably Hoseok, sigh before speaking. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little? He’s not that bad, you know.”

“Please,” Jeongguk scoffs loudly. “You’re only saying this because you’ve only spoken to him once.”

Taehyung’s hand drops to his side. He feels an unfamiliar heavy feeling simmer in his chest. Jeongguk has to be talking about him. Even if there are other people he might find just as annoying, Taehyung doubts any of them have only spoken to his trainer once. It’s too coincidental for it to not be him. 

Jeongguk’s voice brings him out of his thoughts. “Ugh, I still haven’t opened his text, you know? I don’t know what to reply. It’s like– can I not have one day free from you?”

Hurt . Hurt is the feeling in his chest, weighing him down to the ground. But why is Taehyung feeling it? It’s not like they haven’t said worse things to each other before. So what’s so different now? Is it because they spent time together doing something other than arguing?

“I think you should give him a chance, Jeongguk. Get to know him better, maybe.”

“Oh, please, hard pass. Just because we had one good outing together doesn't mean I want to do anything with his clingy ass. Since we’re forced to be partners for the next few months, then I’ll just have to suck it up and deal with it. But that’s all. I’m not going to sit and pretend to like him just for the sake of it.”

Taehyung feels tears prickling the back of his eyelids as his fingers clench into a fist. Fuck Jeongguk, seriously. Does he have to make Taehyung sound like some needy human being begging for love? All he wanted was to have a talk with him to make their lives a bit easier. But no, the younger just had to ruin it with his assholery. 

He takes a few deep breaths as he walks back towards the lift. It’s his fault for expecting anything from the bastard he already knew Jeongguk was. His fault for even wanting to try and salvage any kind of truce they could’ve come to. Taehyung, as usual, was right about every single assumption he made about the racer.

He storms back to his car and he’s sure steam is pouring out of his ears. He slams the door shut and tries calming himself down. No point in driving enraged and endangering himself on the road. Jeongguk isn’t important enough for Taehyung to compromise his safety. 

Whatever. It’s not like anything is going to change, anyway. They’ll just pretend for a few months more and everything will go back to normal after that. Taking one last deep breath, he starts the car.

Again, Jeongguk will never be important enough for Taehyung to lose his head over him like this. Ever.

♬♬♬

u working today?

i was wondering if i could come visit you in the afternoon

just so your team finally confirms i’m real

i also wanna talk about something urgent

well it’s not that urgent so jus lemme know when ur free lol

10:38 a.m.

okay you still haven’t replied so i’m just gna come

hopefully you’ll see this by the time i reach

11:43 a.m.

sorry i was busy training

did you come by the academy?

cause no one saw you

what did you want to talk about?

8:02 p.m.

taehyung?

01:59 a.m.  

Yesterday

um, hello??

are you alive lmao

Messages not delivered. Try again.

did you block me?

wtf you actually did

what’s going on?

Messages not delivered. Try again.

Jeongguk sips his whiskey slowly as he stares at his and Taehyung’s messages. He clicks on the try again button but the same message pops up once more, irritating him. He’s sure that Taehyung has blocked him but he cannot think of a single reason as to why. 

As far as he knows he didn’t do anything to get on the older’s nerves, at least not more than usual, so what caused this sudden switch up? Their last outing, the mug painting date, ended more than well in Jeongguk’s opinion. Not only did they get those private but not secret type paparazzi pictures but after the photo Taehyung posted of the two garnered over 1 million likes and coined with his rank and his interview answer, he’s being scouted by major sports brands one after the other to appoint him as their ambassador. He’s pretty sure he heard Namjoon hyung say something about Taehyung’s song appearing in some important chart. 

He has yet to accept the offers but he can’t really afford to think about that right now. Not when he has a very pissed off fake fiance to deal with. 

He swirls the liquid inside his glass as he thinks over it. Should he even be this bothered about Taehyung blocking him? The singer’s dramatic tantrums aren’t new territory for him and he knows the moment their managers tell them it’s time for another date, he’ll have to unblock him. Taehyung might be mad at him for whatever reason but he won’t annul the contract again. 

Right?

He feels annoyance seep in his veins. What’s Taehyung’s problem? They explicitly decided to talk it out first before making any rash decisions so why is he acting like this again? Now Taehyung’s the one being childish. The least he could do was tell Jeongguk what he did wrong before shutting him off completely. 

He opens his Instagram and sees that although Taehyung hasn’t blocked him there yet due to everyone keeping their eyes on their every move, he hasn’t opened his messages there either. 

Alright, fuck this. Jeongguk is going to get to the bottom of this whether Taehyung likes it or not. If the older wants to act like a sulky child, he’ll be the mature one this time. 

He finishes the rest of his drink in one gulp and dials Seokjin’s number. 

“Hello?” Seokjin’s voice answers after a couple of rings. “Jeongguk, is everything okay?”

“Hi, hyung. Yes, everything’s fine. I just wanted to ask, is Taehyung in the company today?” He contemplates asking Seokjin directly but he isn’t sure if their managers know something is up with their relationship again and he doesn’t want to trouble them more than they already do. 

There’s some shuffling in the background before Seokjin speaks again. “No, not really. Is everything okay between you two?”

Jeongguk was right, he has no idea what happened either. He decides to spare the poor overworked guy the unnecessary stress. “Yes, of course. I wanted to talk to him about our next date before I leave for Jeddah the day after tomorrow but he isn’t answering his texts.”

Seokjin hums. “Ah, he might be sleeping. He’s sick since last night so I told him to take a couple of days off and rest well.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows shoot up. “Taehyung is sick? Is it serious?”

“Not at all.” He hears the scrape of a chair. “It’s just a little cold and fever, he’ll be back to normal in a few days.”

“Alright. Thanks for your help, hyung.” He cuts the call after saying goodbye and stares at his T.V. screen.

Now, Jeongguk has two options. He can either go to Taehyung’s house and confront him about what’s going on or he can say fuck this shit and ignore him back until they’re forced to be in the same vicinity again. He and Taehyung not talking won’t be much different from their current situation anyway and he’s had a long day of training and he could just run himself a long bath and relax with another glass of whiskey in his hand. 

But that’s not what Jeongguk wants anymore.

If he’s being honest with himself, he’s actually sick of the petty arguments he and Taehyung have been having for the past two years. He still has no idea what made Taehyung speak to him so rudely the first time they met, especially since he must’ve had no idea who Jeongguk was since he was still an F2 racer back then and barely known to the public. He remembers the excitement thrumming in his body completely disappearing the moment their gazes met and Taehyung didn’t even have the courtesy to shake his hand. 

He stands up and walks to the door. Enough is enough. Today he’ll find out what went wrong for Taehyung and why he hated him from the moment they met.

He grabs his jacket and car keys and drives to Taehyung’s place, stopping on his way to buy some soup and noodles for him. Call it a peace offering or a way for Taehyung to soften enough to have a sane discussion.

He reaches his destination in about 30 minutes thanks to the Seoul traffic and hopes that Taehyung isn’t sleeping as he rings the buzzer. Thankfully, Taehyung’s annoyed voice pours through the microphone not long after. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

It’s hard for Jeongguk to not roll his eyes, knowing he’s being watched through the camera. “We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.”

He takes a deep breath to remain calm. “Yes, we do. And I know you’re sick so if you just let me in–”

“Who told you I’m sick?”

“Seokjin hyung did. So if you could–”

“Whatever. I have nothing to say to you.”

His fists clench at his sides. Taehyung really makes it hard to stay sane. “Look, I don’t know what’s wrong–”

“You don’t? Shocker.”

Okay, if he interrupts Jeongguk one more time he’s leaving. Fuck all this, Taehyung is getting on his nerves like crazy today.

“Taehyung!” he yells a bit too loud and hopes that no one around him heard it. “You texted me you wanted to talk and before I could even reply, you blocked me. I have no idea what I did wrong but I’m here to talk about it, just like you said we should do before making any hasty decisions. We’re both mature adults and I don’t want to yell in front of your fucking building so if I could just be let in, that’ll be great.”

The silence between them lasts so long that Jeongguk is almost convinced Taehyung is already tucked in bed while he waits stupidly in front of the door. But just as he’s about to turn around and leave, he hears the familiar click of the door being unlocked. Taking a deep breath, he walks inside the building and climbs to Taehyung’s floor.

The moment Taehyung’s door opens, Jeongguk can see he’s in bad shape. His hair is messed up, his nose is red and irritated and his eyes look tired. “Wow, you look terrible,” Jeongguk blurts out first thing, which he realises wasn’t the best greeting the moment he said it.

Taehyung makes a disgusted face. “Thanks. Is that all?” he asks before shutting the door.

Jeongguk rubs his palm over his face. “Taehyung– I know I shouldn’t have said that.” He knocks twice on the door. “Could you please open the door? I really want to talk.” No response. He sighs. “I know I’m an idiot so–”

It’s comical how quickly the door reopens. “It’s good that you’re self-aware,” Taehyung comments and just as he’s about to shut the door again, Jeongguk jams his foot in between. Taehyung looks at him in annoyance.

“Look, I’m not leaving until we have an actual discussion. So unless you want me to wait in your hallway and for your neighbours to notice me, I’d say you let me come inside.” Taehyung still doesn’t look convinced and Jeongguk is three seconds from pulling at his hair. “The earlier we have this discussion, the earlier I will get out of your face.”

After a couple of moments of them uncomfortably staring at each other, Taehyung finally lets him in. Jeongguk almost cries in relief as he takes off his shoes and walks to the kitchen while Taehyung plops back on the sofa and tucks himself in his blanket before pressing play on the K-drama he was watching, completely ignoring his presence.

“Have you had dinner yet?” Jeongguk asks him while he takes out the food containers that need to be reheated. 

“Why do you care?” Taehyung asks in reply and all Jeongguk wants to do is scream in the nearest pillow he can find. 

Being pissy with a sick Taehyung isn’t going to help him get any answers, though. So he replies to him as calmly as he can manage. “I’ve got you some soup and noodles for dinner but if you’ve already eaten I’ll just put them in the fridge.”

Taehyung doesn’t respond for a second. “I haven’t.”

Jeongguk hums and puts the containers in the microwave, staring at the TV screen while the food heats up. Taehyung’s watching some show about a South Korean woman landing in North Korea and it’s interesting enough for Jeongguk to get immersed in it, until the microwave beeps loudly, breaking his trance. 

He finds some bowls and utensils in the first kitchen cabinet he looks in. After serving some soup and noodles for the two of them he picks up the bowls and plates and places them on the table filled with crumpled tissues right in front of Taehyung, who’s still hell-bent on ignoring him.

He sighs and takes a seat as far away from him as possible. “Taehyung,” he speaks after two more minutes of silence from the other. “The food is getting cold.”

“Why the hell are you doing all this?” he suddenly speaks up, startling Jeongguk with his intensity.

“Wh–what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” he rolls his eyes, pausing the show again. “Wanting to talk it out, bringing me soup…what do you want?”

Jeongguk feels irritation build in him. “You know what I want, Taehyung. You blocked me all of a sudden after wanting to speak with me and I’m supposed to, what? Ignore it?”

Taehyung scoffs, but he still picks up the soup bowl. “I just think it’s strange you’re doing all this when you hate me and think I’m annoying.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow. “I think you’re annoying, sure. And let’s be honest, you’ve given me plenty of reasons for that. But hate? Hate is a strong word, Taehyung. I don’t really hate you.” The words fall in between them, heavy and meaningful. “At least, not anymore.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and takes a spoonful of soup in his mouth. “Could’ve fooled me.”

The racer clicks his tongue. “Seriously, what’s your problem?”

“What’s my problem?” he lets out a mocking laugh. “You’re my problem! You call me annoying and clingy and still have the audacity to ask me that?” He shakes his head. “I don’t know why you keep complaining about me blocking you. You wanted a day free of me, right? Now have as many Taehyung-free days as you want.”

Jeongguk has zero idea what Taehyung’s talking about. He has never thought he was clingy or wanted a day free of—

Wait a minute.

The familiar words ring a bell in his head and everything starts making a lot of sense. Taehyung was about to visit him at the academy in the afternoon and although Jeongguk doesn’t know exactly when he was in Hoseok's office, he does think the timing of the two things coinciding might not be so far-fetched.

The whole misunderstanding seems so silly to Jeongguk that he can’t curb the laugh that escapes him. It gets louder when Taehyung gives him the most offended look he can conjure, which the younger can’t blame him for. 

“Are you actually laughing at me right now?” he asks in disbelief, worsening Jeongguk’s situation.

“Oh my god,” Jeongguk clutches his stomach and prays for his laughter to subside. “Oh my god, I can’t believe this.”

“Okay, that’s it. Get out,” he shouts, his voice incredibly nasal.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jeongguk sobers up, shaking his head. “Taehyung, listen to me. There’s been a huge misunderstanding.”

“I don’t think so,” he replies, putting down his bowl and getting up.

Jeongguk immediately catches his wrist. “Taehyung, please. Hear me out just once.”

Taehyung looks at him unblinkingly before he snatches his wrist back and sits down on the sofa again. He doesn’t say anything else but Jeongguk doesn’t wait for him to.

“Taehyung, I'm pretty sure you heard me talking in Hobi hyung’s office yesterday,” he starts, sitting straighter. “And although I understand why you’d think that, the discussion was not about you.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes. “I find that very hard to believe.”

“And again, I understand that,” Jeongguk quickly jumps in to reply, “but it really wasn’t. I was actually talking about my fellow F1 racer from Ferrari, Mateo.”

Taehyung’s seething expression is replaced by confusion. “Mateo?”

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, he’s the second racer from my team who’s racing in this year’s championship and well– he’s kind of a pain in my ass.”

“Pain in the ass?” Taehyung repeats again and in a world where he wasn’t so annoying, Jeongguk would’ve actually found the older cute.

“Yeah. He keeps flirting with me and even though it’s not particularly against the rules, it’s really annoying. We went out for drinks together since I would love to have him as a friend but he’s clearly not okay with being just that. He kept texting me and well– I couldn’t help but complain to Hobi hyung. Which is when you arrived at the academy, I assume.”

There’s a beat of silence where Jeongguk can see Taehyung thinking over it. His ears and cheeks colour more pink as the seconds pass and he finally averts his gaze from Jeongguk. “Okay,” is all he says before taking a bite of his noodles.

Okay? That’s it? 

“That’s all you want to say to me?” Jeongguk asks eyebrow raised.

Taehyung shrugs. “There’s nothing else to say. You can’t blame me for thinking you were talking about me and yeah, I shouldn’t have blocked you immediately but–” he pauses and the pink on his face gets darker. “I was upset.”

Taehyung was upset. By his words. Because of him. Jeongguk doesn’t know how to feel.

“It’s not like we haven’t said worse things to each other.”

Taehyung nods, still staring at his plate. “Yeah, but it was always to our faces and I don’t know– hearing you say those terrible words after your interview–” he pauses again and shakes his head. “This is stupid, forget it. It’s not like you meant what you said in that interview–”

“I did,” Jeongguk interrupts him, making Taehyung raise his head. “I might’ve exaggerated most of it but I do think you’re a caring person.”

Another long pause. “Wow,” Taehyung’s face is slightly amused as he wipes his runny nose. “You call me caring and annoying at the same time. Kinda giving me mixed signals here.”

A small smile appears on Jeongguk’s face. “You claim to hate me and yet you take care of me while I’m drunk. Kinda giving me mixed signals too.”

Taehyung shrugs and continues eating. Jeongguk sits there staring at his empty hands, not knowing what to do. He cleared up the misunderstanding and delivered the food to Taehyung. He doesn’t have to stay here anymore and it’s not too late to execute his drink and a relaxing bath plan. But there’s still one thing Jeongguk is curious about.

“You wanted to talk to me about something,” he reminds Taehyung, who now stares at him with his eyes puppy-like and a mouth full of noodles. “That’s why you came to visit me, right? What was it?”

Taehyung chews and gulps down the noodles before answering. He suddenly looks hesitant, as if unsure about what he’s going to say. “I just wanted to talk about us, I guess.”

“Us?” Jeongguk asks while he picks up the soup bowl. Ugh, he needs to reheat it again. How is Taehyung eating those cold noodles so easily? 

Taehyung nods. “This, us, our relationship. How it’s been terrible since the second we met.”

Jeongguk is stunned into silence. He expected anything but this. But if it’s been brought up now, he’s surely not letting go without getting to the root of their problems. Especially since he’s been thinking the same for a while now.

“Good, ‘cause I’ve been wanting to talk about that too,” he says, shrugging. “I don’t know what and where it went wrong but I do know this; you’ve hated me even before we met.”

A part of him expects Taehyung to protest or deny it but the singer stays quiet, looking at him with a semblance of guilt in his eyes. 

Oh. So he was right all along.

“You did, didn’t you?” he asks, trying not to let his tone show he’s a little hurt by this admission. “Why though? We’d never met before and you just judged me based on what? My outfit?”

Taehyung snickers before shaking his head. “Your outfit was the last thing I noticed, believe me.” His expression turns serious. “When Jimin told me he wanted me to meet his best friend, I didn’t know Gukkie would turn out to be you. I’m not a judgemental person, so believe me when I say I had a good reason to dislike you back then.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrow raises and he crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Oh yeah? And what was that?”

Taehyung collects his thoughts before answering. “Do you remember that guy you beat up in the club all those years ago?”

It takes a second but when he does remember it sends a chill down his spine. Memories flash through his head; him swaying tipsily across the dance floor of the club, hearing the laughs of a group of guys, anger rushing through his body, splashes of red in his vision as blood splatters on the floor.

“I do,” he answers simply, not wanting to go into detail of that horrid night. It was the first time he’d been arrested and the media doesn’t let him forget the incident to this date. “What about him?”

“That guy– he was my boyfriend back then,” Taehyung answers. Jeongguk waits for the shock to spread through his system because what are the odds– “And I know Leehan wasn’t the greatest guy to be around– it’s why he’s an ex– but I don’t remember him being violent. So when he told me it was Jeon Jeongguk who kept punching him until he broke his nose and bruised his jaw so severely he had to stay on a liquid diet for three whole days, I couldn’t forget your name, ever. And when I saw you walking towards our table that day, I just couldn’t pretend to be nice to someone who goes against everything I stand for. You know how the rest of it goes. We kept arguing and it just kept getting worse and I realised that the guy Leehan described wasn’t as different from the guy who keeps fighting with me.”

Jeongguk feels his heart clench heavily as hears the words. He doesn’t have any response to it per se, not when Taehyung has once again made his own judgement and decisions without talking to him or clearing it out. “Do you still think I’m a violent piece of shit?”

Taehyung hesitates. “Not like– I mean– I don’t know.”

Jeongguk purses his lips at his answer but doesn’t comment further. “Did you know what actually happened that night? Did your boyfriend tell you what he was doing before I punched him?”

“Ex-boyfriend,” Taehyung corrects before shaking his head. “He mentioned he was just laughing along with buddies before you started arguing with him for no reason but I did find that hard to believe. It doesn’t matter, though. I don’t think Leehan must’ve done something so despicable for you to beat him up–”

“He was harassing an intoxicated girl,” Jeongguk interrupts, effectively shutting him up. “I was walking past the VIP booth when I heard a girl sounding clearly distressed, even if her words were slurred. I went inside and I saw your ex forcefully making her sit on his lap even though she wasn’t interested and protesting repeatedly but was weakened by the alcohol in her system. Leehan had one arm wrapped around her waist and one on her chest and his friends were all laughing and cheering him on. I was only tipsy that time so I grasped what was going on immediately. When I confronted him and his group about it, they told me to mind my business and threatened to beat me up when I didn’t. The girl just kept crying and pleading him to let her go and I just couldn’t take it anymore.” He watches the horror in Taehyung’s expression as he listens to Jeongguk. “So I apologise if your ex-boyfriend was on a liquid diet for a few days, but I only did what I thought was right.”

Taehyung doesn’t speak for the next few minutes, mouth opening and closing continuously. “Jeongguk, I–” he tries to speak but his voice cracks and he blinks away the moisture gathering in his eyes. Jeongguk gives him all the time he needs, he knows it’ll take him a while to fully absorb what he just told him. 

“I had no idea,” he whispers, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I-I’m sorry, Jeongguk. I truly am. I don’t know what to say.”

Jeongguk chews on his bottom lip. “I understand your confusion, Taehyung. And perhaps to some extent I also understand why you hated me all these years. I just wished you’d talk to me first before making so many assumptions about what happened that night.”

A few more tears roll down as he nods. He wipes them away and sniffs. “I know, okay? I’m just– I’m really sorry for behaving so rudely even before I got to know you and believing my cheating bitch of an ex instead of finding out for myself.”

Jeongguk scoffs. “He cheated on you ? What an idiot,” It sounds very much like a compliment and Jeongguk is about to follow it up with someone contradictorily mean out of habit but stops himself when he sees Taehyung smile through his tears.

“Oh, yeah. He was. Big time.” Taehyung snorts before sobering up. “I mean it, Jeongguk. I’m sorry for believing him or the articles before even trying to ask you what happened back then. And I apologise for every petty insult and fight I started after that too.”

Jeongguk can’t believe his ears. Kim Taehyung apologising? Apologising to him ? Never in a million years, he thought this would happen. He’s pretty sure he imagined him and Taehyung fighting in their graves and in the afterlife. But he’s not the asshole everyone thinks he is and he owes the other an apology too.

“I’m sorry too,” he breathes out, feeling a weight being lifted off his chest. “I should’ve asked you what was your problem with me years ago instead of fighting back like a child. So I’m sorry for all the hurtful things I’ve said to you over the years.”

Taehyung gives a small smile and an acknowledging nod. “So now what?”

Great question. Now what? What happens after two people who’ve hated each other for such a long time suddenly clear everything up and apologise?

“We could try becoming friends,” Jeongguk suggests, shrugging and playing it off nonchalantly. “All our friends seem to be hellbent on us doing that anyway.”

Taehyung laughs and wipes his nose. “They do seem an awful lot interested in us, don’t they?”

“It’s because they have no life and we’re so much more cooler and interesting than them,” he grins back.

It’s all so new to both of them. Referring to them as us and we and actually laughing without the presence of cameras or their family. 

“You’re right,” Taehyung shakes his head. “I also think it’ll be nice to go on dates as actual friends, you know. The pictures will be more authentic and the outings will be more bearable.”

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, the pictures will definitely be better if we’re not smiling as if held at gunpoint.”

Taehyung nods, then pauses before extending his hand for Jeongguk to shake. “So, friends?”

Jeongguk takes it, hoping his palms aren’t sweaty. “Friends.”

They give it a firm shake before pulling back. Silence reigns between them. “Do you want me to heat up the food again?” Jeongguk blurts out before it becomes awkward once more.

“Aw, look at you being so nice to me,” Taehyung teases as Jeongguk picks up their plates and bowls.

He shrugs. “What can I say, it’s the beautiful power of friendship,” he winks before leaving, a smile automatically appearing on his face when he hears Taehyung’s laugh.

It’s fine. This is completely new territory for them and they won’t magically laugh and cuddle from tomorrow but they’ve at least taken a big step towards the better. He wonders what their friend’s reaction will be. The microwave beeps and his stomach growls in hunger. 

It’s fine. They have enough time to think about all these things and let their newfound friendship slowly grow.

Chapter Text

All his life, Taehyung has loved making friends.

If put it in a room with a hundred people, he would come out of it with at least ninety friends in tow. Ever since kindergarten, Taehyung has formed multiple friends in every social gathering he’s in, no matter the age or background. He’s always been a chatterbox, a yapper if you will. Never has the thought of being alone with another person made him nervous or anxious.

Until now. 

He scurries around the room in a hurry, constantly checking his outfit each time he passes by his mirror. A dark blue printed t-shirt tucked in black baggy jeans. A simple outfit for a simple movie date. With a friend. With Jeongguk .

Right, of course, Jeongguk is his friend now. Taehyung has to constantly remind himself to dissolve the irritation that seeps into his body the moment he thinks of the racer. Now that everything is all cleared up, he really had no reason to roll his eyes at the sheer thought of him. It was all a misunderstanding, he chides as he applies concealer to his face with a brush, hiding his eyebags and evening his skin tone. He sets it with a setting powder and decides against the bronzer. They’re going to watch a film and the lights will be out for most of their friendly date. Besides, he decided to look simple today.

He stands up from his chair and walks across his room, only to forget why he got up in the first place. 

“Get a grip, Kim Taehyung,” he whispers to himself, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. There’s no reason to be in a frenzy. It’s just Jeongguk. Jeongguk, who he hated vehemently for the past two years for something that wasn’t even his fault. Jeongguk, with whom he now has to act all buddy-buddy because that’s what they decided last week. 

He’s still not convinced that the night wasn’t a conjuring of his fever-riddled brain. His friends found it impossible that not only did Taehyung and Jeongguk clear the misunderstanding that has haunted them for years now with a simple conversation, they also spent the night having dinner together while Taehyung explained the entire plot of the Korean drama he was re-watching for the fourth time and the other quietly listened. He can’t really blame them since he too can barely swallow the pill of truth about the situation. 

Taehyung and Jeongguk are not only pretending to be engaged, they’re also doing that while being friends .

A chime from his phone breaks him out of his stupor. He unlocks the device to a message from Jeongguk informing him he’s waiting for him downstairs in the parking lot. 

With a shaky breath, Taehyung stands in front of the mirror one last time, carding his fingers through the silvery blond strands to set his hair and smoothening down his t-shirt. 

Okay, let’s do this. This isn’t your first time alone with him so it’s nothing you’re unprepared for. You and Jeongguk are friends now. Keep your snarky comments to yourself no matter how annoying he is and everything’ll be golden.

He grabs his house keys and his wallet and sets out, a sliver of anxiety curling around his gut. Taehyung does his best to push it down so appears completely unaffected by today’s events. He smiles at someone he’s familiar with and rides down the lift, fidgeting with his nails and wondering how the vibe is going to be in between the two. Will it be casual? Uncomfortable? 

Will Jeongguk ignore the truce they called and go back to his old ways and start arguing again?

He feels his breath hitch when he spots Jeongguk leaning against the hood of a new, shiny and sexy red Ferrari with his arms crossed and his intense gaze set on Taehyung as he approaches him. He wears a faded black t-shirt with white lettering and baggy jeans underneath, with a simple thin chain around his neck and an ear full of piercings. Most of his tattoos are exposed and his hair is damp and parted in the middle. 

Oh . Guess he too shared Taehyung’s idea of dressing casually.

He watches the racer’s lips lift slightly when he stands in front of him. “Hey,” he greets, tilting his head a little. 

Taehyung gulps. Why is his heart beating so fast? “Hi there.” 

Is this the first time they’ve greeted each other, ever? Fuck, he needs to loosen up a little, his posture is a little too straight. He relaxes his shoulders and manages a smile. There. That’s normal, isn't it?

“Why are you smiling so creepily? Are you okay?” Jeongguk asks him, eyebrow raised in half concern, half confusion.

Maybe he’s not being as normal as he thinks he is. He drops his smile and nods. “I’m perfectly alright, and yourself?” he asks, suddenly switching to English for some reason.

Seriously? This is his way of damage control? Speaking like a British Monarch in the Elizabethan Era?

Jeongguk’s face breaks into a small but genuine smile. “A little too polite today, aren’t we?” he replies in the same language, shaking his head.  His voice is seemingly lower in English although Jeongguk’s accent peeks out for certain words. “Are you ready to go, my lord?” he teases, peeling himself away from the majestic vehicle and opening the door to the passenger seat. 

Taehyung feels his cheeks heat up as he takes a seat. “Shut up,” he hisses in reply, switching back to Korean. “I stayed up all night watching The Crown.”

Jeongguk hums as he slides in the driver’s seat. “Did you not go to the company today?” he asks as he buckles in his seatbelt, prompting Taehyung to do the same.

“For a little bit I did but I wasn’t very productive,” Taehyung answers as he looks around the fancy car. “Did you buy this recently?”

“Hmm?” Jeongguk looks up at him before shaking his head. “The car? The team gifted it to me. Said I should only drive a Ferrari while representing them, at least while the championship is going on.”

Taehyung nods and sits more comfortably. The car screams luxury and class from the inside as well, with black leather seats and a red and black dashboard. That new car smell surrounds him along with Jeongguk’s tasteful cologne; a dangerous combination. 

“It’s a Ferrari SF90 Stradale,” Jeongguk informs him as they pull out of the parking lot, garnering the attention of everyone passing by. “What do you think?”

Taehyung’s instinct is to reply with a gruff why do you care about my opinion but he holds himself back just in time. They’re friends now. His friend Jeongguk would like to know his thoughts about his car and that’s all. There’s no need to be snarky, Taehyung.

“It’s nice,” is all he manages to reply, internally cringing at himself. 

Thankfully, Jeongguk doesn’t react to it, too busy focusing on the road instead. Silence reigns between them and Taehyung fidgets with the sleeve of his t-shirt as he tries to think of topics. Small talk has always been his strong suit, and he usually carries any conversation with ease. But as the silence stretches with each passing second, interrupting it with a silly question would only seem forced.

Whatever. The trip to the cinema wasn’t that long and Taehyung could survive a few minutes of quiet. It might be an impossible task for a chatterbox like him but anything seems better than attempting to start meaningless conversations with someone he’d only insult earlier. 

Taehyung looks outside the window, the familiar streets of Gangnam now blurring past him. Jeongguk texted him a day earlier asking which movie he would prefer to watch and he told him that he would enjoy anything, just to make things easier for the other. 

Jeongguk’s phone ringing penetrates his thoughts. The younger stares at the screen in confusion before picking up and putting it on speaker. “Eomma, hey,” he greets, gesturing to Taehyung to hold his phone while he drives. 

“Jeongguk-ah, are you busy right now?” his mother’s sweet voice echoes in the car.

“No, I’m not. Why? Did you need something?” he asks as he stops at a red light.

A deep sigh pours through the speaker. “You forgot, didn’t you? I’ve been telling you for the past few days to pick up the kimchi I’ve made for you and you promised me you’ll be here on Wednesday to pick it up.”

A look of alarm flashes across Jeongguk’s face. He mouths, is it Wednesday today? to Taehyung, who curbs a smile as he nods in confirmation. 

“Hello? Jeongguk? My god, this boy will be the death of me one day–”

“I’m here, eomma,” he interrupts her ranting, sounding exasperated. This is fun.

“Of course, I didn’t forget! I was actually on my way there,” he fibs, sending Taehyung a glare when he lets out a chuckle.

His mother clicks her tongue in reply. “Oh yeah? Did you think I was born yesterday?”

Taehyung has to muffle his giggle in his palm as he realises where Jeongguk got his sassy attitude from. Jeongguk makes a face at him before replying.

“Eomma, I’m not lying. I’ll be there in 10 minutes, I promise. Okay, see you soon, love you!” he says before frantically gesturing to disconnect the call, which Taehyung does with a laugh.

“My misery is funny to you, isn’t it?” Jeongguk asks with a roll of his eyes, but his tone isn’t particularly mean. The lilt in the corner of his mouth is very much visible.“Do you mind if we stop by my parent’s place for a few minutes?”

Taehyung nods, eyes wide and innocent. “Oh it’s a riot, honestly. But no, I don’t mind. Our movie doesn’t start for another 30 minutes anyways.”

The drive to Jeongguk’s parents’ place isn’t too long, given how they were already in Gangnam. Taehyung thinks he recognises the area where Jeongguk parks his car, the vehicle still managing to look luxurious next to all the other high-end cars parked. Penthouse apartments with gleaming large windows that expose the lifeless and empty living rooms of the top 1% of the country. 

Jeongguk turns to him as he unbuckles his seatbelt. “I’ll be quick, alright?”

Taehyung blinks at him in confusion. “Am I not–oh,” he replies, looking away in embarrassment. 

Why the hell would he assume Jeongguk would want him to meet his family? Fuck, this is so humiliating. 

Jeongguk’s cheeks flush. He stops whatever he was doing. “Oh did you also want to–”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Taehyung clarifies, even though it’s exactly what he meant. He shifts awkwardly in his seat. “I understand if you don’t want me there.”

“That’s not true,” Jeongguk rushes out in reply, turning Taehyung’s attention back to him. “I just— my mother is very excited to meet you and you might get uncomfortable so I just…” he trails off, the pink on his cheeks darkening. 

Jeongguk was concerned about his comfort. Oh.

“Well, I don’t really mind meeting your parents,” he mutters, playing with his fingers and attempting to look nonchalant. “It’s just for a while and I think— as your fake fiance— your parents deserve to get to know me at least a little bit.” He looks up at Jeongguk who has an unreadable expression on his face. “Only if that’s alright with you, of course.”

Jeongguk simply stares at him for a few moments before ultimately nodding. Irritation arises in Taehyung. What’s the big deal? It’s just for a few minutes and he was thinking about keeping up the act. Why was Jeongguk so hesitant for him to meet his parents? Taehyung isn’t ill-mannered by any means. All of his friends’ and exes’ parents loved him in the first meeting itself. Does Jeongguk have to doubt everything about him all the time?

The two walk into the posh building with a huge entryway and long, high-ceilinged corridor after Jeongguk put in the code. Taehyung sees him nod at the receptionist in greeting who sends him a shy smile in return before staring at the idol with wide eyes. Taehyung instinctively reaches for Jeongguk’s hand and to his surprise, he doesn’t flinch or pull away, intertwining their fingers together after a second of hesitation.

Taehyung feels warm all over.

“I have to warn you though,” Jeongguk starts when they stand waiting for the lift, “my parents, especially my mom, have been asking to meet you ever since the first article dropped. So they might be a little too excited to see you and I really hope they don’t make you uncomfortable.”

Jeon Jeongguk actually looking out for him? That’s new.

He chuckles and shakes his head. “I think I’ll live. I’m sure they’re lovely people and it’s just for a little while, so what’s the worst that could happen?”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as they step in the lift and he presses the button for the penthouse. “Don’t complain that I didn’t warn you beforehand when my mother smothers you to death with her excessive hugging.”

It takes them a couple of minutes to reach the last floor of the tall building, the generic lift music making the atmosphere even more awkward. Taehyung is already sick of it. How are they somehow worse than how the two were before they cleared things up? Before, it was at least clear where they stood and how they felt about each other. But now a feeling of uncertainty hangs over them constantly and Taehyung wonders how he can clear it up so he and Jeongguk can just be normal together, like how he is with his other friends. 

He suddenly wishes he was home at that moment, warm under his blanket while he watched TikToks for hours until his eyes couldn’t stay open. It’s not the healthiest of lifestyles but anything is better than standing in an enclosed space with your enemy-turned-friend overnight with your fingers interlaced and the air heavy with discomfort. 

They walk out of the lift and towards a heavy wooden door and press the doorbell. Taehyung suddenly feels nervous, his skin feeling prickly. It’s silly that he hopes Jeongguk’s parents like him when he’s sure he’s never seeing them again after this. 

The door opens and a beautiful lady in her late forties stands in front of them, her eyes widening as they set on Taehyung. “Oh my— Oh my god, look who’s here!” she exclaims, her dainty hand resting on her chest. 

Taehyung bows down in greeting but is pulled into a hug even before he can straighten up. “Taehyung-ah! I can’t believe you came with him,” Jeongguk’s mother exclaims, arms engulfing him as if they’ve known each other for years. 

He does his best to not go stiff and still at the sudden hug attack. After all, Jeongguk warned him so he really has no reason to panic about the instant show of affection.

“It’s really nice to finally meet you Seo-ssi,” Taehyung greets as he hugs her back. 

She places a small kiss on his cheek before separating. “Please, call me eomma! You’re just like my son now that you’re engaged to my Jeonggukie!” she smiles at the two brightly, her smile similar to Jeongguk’s and it’s evident when he looks at the racer who smiles at him as well.

“Your Jeonggukie who you haven’t even hugged yet,” he complains, tone bordering on a whine. 

His mother clicks her tongue before wrapping her arms around him, giving his forehead a kiss as well. “Get used to it. This is exactly how it’s going to be from now on and it’ll definitely worsen when you two get married.” The mention of marriage prompts the two to share a look of guilt but Jeongguk’s mother doesn’t notice and ushers them inside.

“Jeongguk’s appa will be back home soon for dinner and he’s so excited to meet you too, Taehyung-ah,” she says as she guides them to the sofa set. Taehyung looks around the apartment, impressed by how minimalist yet classy it looks. A few picture frames hung on the wall, some fancy art pieces, along with fresh flowers in every vase. 

“Your house is wonderful, eomma,” he compliments, the last word almost getting stuck in his throat. It feels so wrong, calling her eomma when he’s constantly lying to her and will probably never get to meet her after this. 

Jeongguk’s mother coos at him. “Thank you, Taehyung. I still can’t believe Jeongguk was dating such a sweet and handsome man and we had no idea.” She sends Jeongguk a little glare before continuing. “But it doesn’t matter now, not when you two will get married in the end and I will get such a wonderful boy as my son-in-law.”

Taehyung’s face heats up from shyness and guilt alike and he shakes his head at her words. “You think too good of me,” he says bashfully.

She vehemently shakes her head in reply. “I’m not exaggerating one bit, believe me. I’ve heard your song and seen you perform and you’re so talented and kind, Taehyung. I bet your parents would be so proud of you,” she says earnestly and Taehyung feels a lump growing in his throat.

How can he tell this sweet lady that he’s nothing but a disappointment to his father, who’d rather him slogging his ass off leading his company instead of doing what he’s been passionate about since he was a child? That no matter how hard he tries he can never make his parents happy or witness them talking to him about his career with a twinkle of interest in their eyes? No matter how high he reaches in life or how successful he becomes he’ll always be the black sheep of the family simply because he loves differently than the norm?

Taehyung can only manage a small smile and a nod in return before lowering his head, hoping he can blink the tears out of his eyes. He’s so sick of his emotions constantly getting the better of him. When will he finally realise that this is his life at the end of the day and he’ll never convince his parents to think otherwise?

“Eomma,” Jeongguk interrupts, “this has been lovely, but we both should leave now.” Taehyung raises his gaze and sees that the younger’s eyes are trained on him, studying his expression. Did he see the tears in his eyes at the mere mention of his parents? What must Jeongguk think of him right now, close to crying in his parent’s living room? 

Jeongguk’s mother gasps with a frown in reply. “No, there’s no way I’m letting you two go without having dinner. Your father will be here soon with takeaway and he wants to meet Taehyung.”

She turns to him and stares with her wide, pleading doe eyes. “You’ll stay for dinner, won’t you Taehyungie?”

He’s about to tell her about the movie but Jeongguk beats him to it. “We were actually on our way to watch a movie that starts in about twenty minutes.”

Chaewon dismisses him with a wave of her hand. “You can watch it some other time. I refuse to let this baby here leave without some food in him.” She gives the singer another pleading look that’s almost impossible to say no to. “You’ll stay for dinner, right Taehyungie?”

Taehyung glances towards Jeongguk who wildly shakes his head no. And honestly, he should reject the offer. The more he spends time with Jeongguk’s parents, the more he’ll get attached to them and it’s unfair when he’s hiding the truth from them the whole time. Plus, he and Jeongguk really need some good pap pictures before he leaves for another Grand Prix tomorrow. 

But Taehyung has always been a people pleaser and the thought of disappointing Jeongguk’s parents when they’ve been so eager to spend some time together doesn’t sit right with him. “Yeah, I think we can stay for dinner,” he replies, with Chaewon letting out a happy cheer and Jeongguk an exasperated sigh.

She gets up from the sofa. “I’m telling Joohyuk to get some extra food on the way. I hope you like Japchae,” she says, smiling at him when he nods in confirmation.

Once she’s out of the room, Taehyung flashes Jeongguk an apologetic look. “I know I should’ve said no, but–”

“Why would you agree to this? Now they’ll ask us questions for which we haven’t prepared at all and—” he pauses, taking a breath. “Did you not see me shake my head back there?” he asks, clearly annoyed. 

The energy between them starts getting a little hostile and Taehyung tries to defuse the situation. “Look, I understand they might ask us questions and we’re at a risk of them finding out the truth but did you not see the look your mother gave me? How could I say no to her and break her heart?”

Besides, this could be good material for future interviews and posts that’ll further solidify their couple’s story. 

Jeongguk makes a face before shaking his head. “Fine, but let me do most of the talking for tonight.”

Taehyung senses a spike of irritation. “Oh yeah? Because I’m too dumb to answer basic questions about our relationship? Quit pretending like this is the national college entrance exam.”

Jeongguk shrugs dismissively and it only fuels the annoyance inside him. “Whatever. I hope you at least remember the answers I gave your family all those weeks ago.”

Taehyung doesn’t remember half of the things said that night but he’s not letting Jeongguk get the upper hand. He wonders if they’ll truly ever be friends, with how they can’t help but snap at each other’s throats at every little inconvenience. 

His mother walks back into the living room, interrupting their squabble. Taehyung doesn’t think she notices the shift in the air between them. “Joohyuk will be here soon. Taehyung, you should get comfortable. Now tell me, what movie were you two about to watch?”

The ring of the doorbell announces Jeon Joohyuk’s arrival in the next 10 minutes. Taehyung stands up to greet Jeongguk’s father who pulls him into a surprising hug as soon as he sets down the bag in his hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Taehyung,” he greets warmly, patting his cheek affectionately after pulling away. Taehyung feels a prickle in his eyes. He can’t remember the last time his father gave him a hug or even spoke to him affectionately. 

There’s a stark difference between a hug from a mother and one from a father. He never realised it until now but the way Jeongguk’s mother would curl around him gently while his father is broader and warmer and it hits Taehyung like a damn truck.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Jeon-ssi,” he greets with a small bow. 

His father waves him off with a smile. “Abeoji is just fine,” he says, handing the delicious smelling bag to his wife. “I really hope you two are hungry.”

“I’m starving, appa,” Jeongguk replies from the sofa, stretching lazily.

“When are you not?” his father retorts and a laugh escapes Taehyung.

Jeongguk sticks his tongue out at him while getting up from the sofa and walking towards them. “You say that as if I haven’t gotten this ginormous appetite from you .” He turns to his mother, who is staring at the two with fondness swimming in her eyes. “You’re on my side, aren’t you?”

Jeongguk’s mother raises her hands in surrender. “Don’t make me choose between the love of my life and the apple of my eye please,” she grins teasingly, poking her son’s cheek lightly.

Jeongguk’s bottom lip pops out slightly and the entire interaction is so sweet to Taehyung, who hasn’t had one with his family for years now. It might be the hollowness in his chest or the feeling of wanting to be included that makes him blurt out, “I’m on your side, Jeongguk.”

The words grab the attention of all the Jeons in the room, who turn towards him. Chaewon gives him a dimpled smile, whereas Joohyuk shakes his head amusedly. Jeongguk shifts closer to him, eyebrow raised. “Yeah? You’re on my side now?” he asks, the question seemingly hiding a deeper meaning than posed. 

Taehyung gives him a genuine smile before he nods. “Yeah, I am.”

Jeongguk looks at him for a second too long before wrapping his arm around his waist and pressing a kiss in his hair. “Thanks, Tae.”

The actions and the nickname cause a small flutter in Taehyung’s chest but he ignores it and tries to focus on Joohyuk speaking. “See Jeongguk? Now you don’t have to complain about third-wheeling us all the time.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as his mother giggles in agreement. “Taehyung, would you like to drink something? A beer, whiskey, some wine?” she asks.

“No, thanks eomma. I’ll just have some water.”

“I’ll have that beer though,” Jeongguk speaks from next to Taehyung, their bodies still glued together. Heat spreads through him upon realisation but he doesn’t pull away. 

Joohyuk clicks his tongue before his wife can reply. “Jeongguk, you have practice tomorrow.”

Jeongguk’s expression darkens. “It’s just one beer—”

“Jeongguk,” his father warns, eyes as stern as his tone. He takes a limping step towards him, sort of like a warning.

The racer stares at his father with hardened eyes for a moment before sighing. “Fine.”

The atmosphere suddenly loses the joviality from earlier, a tense vibe replacing it. Taehyung sneaks a look at Jeongguk’s mother who stares at the scene with pursed lips but doesn’t say anything. He suddenly feels uncomfortable standing in the midst of all the tension. “Eomma, let me help you with plating the food,” he offers, desperately trying to get away. 

Chaewon nods at him. “Of course, follow me,” she says, leading him to their classy kitchen that’s the size of his living room.

The two work silently for the next few moments, opening the boxes and serving the delicious smelling food in the plates and bowls with intricate designs. Jeongguk’s mother breaks the comfortable quiet between them. “Taehyung,” she starts, grabbing his attention away from the plates, “thank you.”

His eyebrows furrow. “What for, eomma? This isn’t a big deal,” he says, gesturing the food.

She shakes his head. “Not just for this but also for being with Jeongguk.” She sets down the serving spoon in her hand. “You’ve seen how much pressure he’s under and he just— he needs someone to lean on, even if he might not say it out loud. He’s been living a stressful life since a very young age and he takes on so much more than he can handle.”

Taehyung stays silent, watches her eyes moisten. The strain must be taking a toll on her. He can’t imagine having to be the middleman between all of that and maintain the peace. 

She looks at his left hand and gently holds it, smiling at the ring softly. “The ring looks absolutely beautiful on you, Taehyung-ah. I still remember the day Joohyuk proposed to me vividly, it was one of the happiest days of my life. I couldn’t believe I had the fortune of finding someone like him as my soulmate then and I can’t believe that even now.” 

She meets his gaze, eyes now full of tears. Taehyung feels a lump forming in his throat. “I truly wish you and Jeongguk find the same happiness my husband and I have,” she says sincerely, both of her hands clasping Taehyung’s left one. “I hope Jeongguk treats you with the utmost love and care that he’s seen his parents give each other growing up. He’s a wonderful boy, Taehyung-ah. Just take care of him, okay?” she finishes, giving him a watery smile.

Guilt crashes down on Taehyung when he nods and multiplies tenfold when she gives him a hug. What is he doing, falsely promising Jeongguk’s mother that he’ll love and care for him when 8 months later, he’s never seeing Jeongguk again? Is this how Jeongguk felt the night he had dinner with his family? Taehyung can’t think over the shame washing over him and his stomach in knots. He should’ve never come here, should’ve never met Jeongguk’s parents, should’ve never introduced Jeongguk to his and should’ve never blurted out the lie to his grandmother in the first place. 

What was supposed to be a simple white lie to fulfil his grandmother’s final wish has turned into this huge mess that involves both of their innocent families and the rest of the world, especially to those who look up to them, who get courage from their relationship. 

What will he tell everyone once the ball drops and they have to eventually breakup?

Jeongguk entering the kitchen breaks the emotional bubble encasing Taehyung and his mother, who break their hug when they hear their footsteps. The younger takes a glance at the moisture in his mother’s eyes and his eyebrows crease. He gives Taehyung a questioning look who shakes his head with a smile. But Jeongguk must’ve seen the sorrowful look in his gaze because he doesn’t stop looking at him even when his mother hands him a bowl full of kimchi. She has to smack his arm to catch his attention.

“I know your fiancé is gorgeous but we’re all hungry here, you know?” she teases, warming both of their cheeks.

♬♬♬

The dinner goes well. Too well , Taehyung thinks as Chaewon hands him his own box full of tasty homemade kimchi and some leftover japchae from their dinner. She wraps him in a long hug and kisses his forehead as they wear their coats. The four talked nonstop while eating their food and Jeongguk’s parents listened to Taehyung while he talked about his career and upcoming album in rapt attention, something he never experienced with his own family. It took everything in him to not burst into tears right then and there. 

After another round of goodbye hugs, Taehyung and Jeongguk walk towards the car with bags full of food in their hands. The two remain silent as they fasten their seatbelts but Taehyung can sense that Jeongguk desperately wants to ask him about what happened back there in the kitchen earlier. 

“About the movie–” Jeongguk starts, looking hesitant. “It’s almost midnight and too late to catch one.”

Taehyung nods. “We can always watch it some other ti–”

“Would you like to come over to my place to watch something?” Jeongguk interrupts him. 

Taehyung’s mouth falls open. “What?” he gasps out, trying to understand the other’s words. 

Jeongguk turns redder the longer Taehyung stares at him and he stutters out an explanation. “Well— I just thought since we’re— um— friends now we can watch something at my place? Just Netflix and Chill— not chill chill of course— uh—”

Taehyung tries to curb his smile and nods. It’s hilarious to see the usually suave and confident Jeongguk as a stuttering mess. “Sure, I’m down for a Netflix and Chill, without the chill.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes at him but Taehyung can still see splashes of pink across his cheeks and ears. 

He starts driving and the two remain silent like the city at this hour for a while. “I hope my parents weren’t too overwhelming tonight,” Jeongguk says, eyes stuck to the road. 

Taehyung shakes his head. “Not at all. They’re such sweethearts, I had a lot of fun chatting with them.”

Jeongguk hums but doesn’t continue the conversation. A thought keeps nagging Taehyung at the back of his head, eating him away. He turns towards the window when they stop at a red light, staring at a father picking up his toddler and placing her on his shoulders, the mother looking at the two fondly.

“What do you think will happen when we eventually break up?” he asks suddenly, the words revolving in his head spilling out without him meaning to.

Jeongguk seems taken off guard by the question and thinks for a few moments before answering. “I think people might talk about it for a bit before eventually moving on,” he shrugs. “Our fans might be sad too.”

Taehyung breathes out. Doesn't Jeongguk know how many people their breakup will seriously affect with the number of people who are genuinely attached to them?

“I was just thinking about our families,” he says, looking out of the window. “Now that we’ve brought them in this mess, it’s going to be difficult to explain what went wrong between us. Not just to them but also to all the queer people who look up to us bravely sharing our love to the rest of the world.”

“I’m really worried about that, if I’m being honest. My parents have gotten so attached to you in one meeting, I wonder how they would react when I tell them I broke off the engagement.” He pauses, taking a quick glance at him when they stop at yet another red light. “I saw you two hugging in the kitchen and eomma had tears in her eyes.” He gulps. “What happened?”

Taehyung feels a lump in his throat thinking back to the conversation. “She just–” he gulps too, trying to meet Jeongguk’s gaze on him. “She wanted to wish us happiness. She, um,” he clears his throat, “hopes that we love and take care of each other for a long time.”

Jeongguk sighs as his eyes turn glassy. “Sometimes I wonder if we should’ve ever involved our families in our problems.”

“It’s all my fault,” Taehyung whispers, on the verge of crying. “I should’ve never lied to my family in the first place.” He looks away from him when he feels the familiar burn in his eyes, guilt slowly consuming him.

Jeongguk starts driving again. “What’s done is done, Taehyung. It was an honest mistake, there’s no need for you to continuously beat yourself up for it,” he reassures. Taehyung’s shoulder is squeezed shortly after, prompting sparks to zap through his body at the touch. He turns to Jeongguk and flashes him a grateful smile. 

The racer parks his car right next to his Lamborghini. “Your parents really love each other, don’t they? It’s adorable to see,” Taehyung comments as he unbuckles his seatbelt.

Jeongguk nods with a fond smile. “Oh, for sure. They call themselves soulmates all the time and say fate brought them together. I’ve spent my entire life third wheeling them.”

Taehyung chuckles and gets out of the car. “How did they meet?”

Jeongguk grabs their bags and locks his car. “My father got into a very fatal accident during one of his races many years ago. He lost not only his leg but also his entire career. It shattered his heart and turned his life upside down but he always appreciates the silver lining that came with it, him meeting my mother. She was his surgeon and she gave him a new life and a hope to keep living.” 

Emotions surge through Taehyung after hearing the tale, sounding straight out of a romance novel. He wonders if true love like this truly exists, if he’ll ever get lucky enough to experience it. 

“That’s beautiful,” he appreciates, taking his bags from Jeongguk’s hand. “It sounds like a disney fairytale.”

Jeongguk shakes his head as he enters the building code. “Oh, for sure. But when you grow up with a disney couple as your parents you eventually get sick of the non-stop sugary sweetness.”

Taehyung giggles before following him across the long corridor of the posh building and into the lift. “What about your parents? How did they meet?” he hears Jeongguk ask as he once more presses the button for the penthouse but this time also scans his fingerprint along with it. 

Taehyung shrugs. “Simple arranged marriage. But the two are perfect for each other. They might not be very vocal or public about it but anyone can see their love. They balance each other out very well. It’s the same with my brother and his wife.”

The lift directly opens into the penthouse and Taehyung gasps softly. The entire penthouse is painted black and dark grey with black and white furniture neatly arranged everywhere. The living room itself is as big as Taehyung’s entire apartment. It contains a large cabinet filled with different types of alcohol right across the huge plasma TV and a leather sofa set. He sees a couple of doors leading to other rooms and a staircase that leads to another small floor. A huge window replaces an entire wall and Taehyung can only imagine the view from it at such a height.

“Your house…it’s so— big,” Taehyung breathes out, trying to close his mouth. 

“I kind of wish it was smaller,” Jeongguk replies, taking off his shoes at the door. He chuckles when Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I do! I prefer your apartment, actually. It’s the perfect size for one person. This house is way too big for me. It kinda gets lonely here sometimes.”

The admission surprises Taehyung and seemingly Jeongguk as well, who shuts his mouth the second the words leave his mouth.

“Well— you can always get a roommate,” Taehyung mutters, trying to dissipate the silence.

Jeongguk simply hums before walking into one of the many rooms, presumably the kitchen to store all the food containers Jeongguk’s mother gave them. Taehyung does the same, knowing the food might get spoiled by the time he reaches home. 

The two put the food in the fridge together before walking back to the living room. “Would you like something to drink?” Jeongguk asks him as he grabs a glass from the top shelf of the cabinet. 

Taehyung stares at the wide range of alcohol on the shelves and tilts his head. “Do you like drinking that much?” he asks, studying his wine bottles.

“I’m fond of collecting different types of liquor,” he corrects him, a little irritation lacing his tone. “You don’t have to sound so judgemental.”

“I wasn’t being judgemental—” Taehyung snaps back but stops himself just in time, taking a little breath. “I’ll just have a glass of Baileys,” he replies instead.

“Baileys? Are you a teenager?” Jeongguk teases, getting another glass.

Taehyung clicks his tongue. “Are you serving me that damn drink or not?” 

Jeongguk raises his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. Let me change into my pyjamas first though, if that’s okay with you.”

Taehyung simply shrugs in reply. Jeongguk lets out a sigh before walking up the stairs to his room while the older continues snooping around the house. He stands in front of the huge window only to realise it opens into a tiny balcony. 

Seoul looks breathtakingly alive with its twinkling lights even at this hour and Taehyung can even spot the Namsan Tower in the distance. He wonders what it’d be like to own a house like this, to be so successful in your career at such a young age. To visit your parents and be showered with displays of love and affection and see the shine in their eyes while you tell them how much you’ve achieved in your career. How it feels to receive pats on your back from your father and words of encouragement from your mother. 

The breeze feels cooling on his face as he rests his arms against the cold railing. He reminds himself that there’s no use thinking about what-ifs when this is the harsh reality he lives in, that it might never change, even when his grandmother is no more. 

He smiles as he thinks about how happy she was when he told her that he’s thinking of releasing his album this year. Her eyes shone with tears and her face lit up in joy and she told him that simply the thought of getting to listen to his album kept her strong. He has to be quick with it. He can’t officially debut without his halmeoni, can he?

“Are you still thinking about what might happen when this is over?” Jeongguk asks, joining him at the railing. 

Taehyung shakes his head, enjoying the way the wind ruffles his strands. He turns to the younger who has changed into a matching black sweatshirt and shorts now. “No, not really. I was actually enjoying the view.”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Jeongguk asks, looking away from him. The moonlight falls on his face and his eyes sparkle. “I lucked out with the view. They were constructing another building just as tall as this one directly in front of me but they cancelled the project.” He turns back to him. “I come here sometimes with a drink in hand, stare at the city down below and think that life isn’t so bad, you know?

Taehyung laughs out loud but it’s genuine. “Well, I'd think anyone standing on their penthouse balcony with a little alcohol in their system thinks life is infinitely more bearable than without.”

Jeongguk shrugs but he has a smile on his face. “I wholeheartedly agree.” He pushes away from the railing and turns towards the penthouse. “Would you like to change into something comfortable as well? I can lend you some of my clothes.”

Taehyung blinks stupidly at the question. Him? Wearing Jeongguk’s clothes? In his house?

What the fuck?

“Sure,” he forces out, trying to be nonchalant. It’s not a big deal. Jeongguk wore your clothes the day he stayed over at your place too.

“Great, I laid something out for you back in my room. There’s a bathroom right next to it so you can wash your face or whatever you’d like.” 

“Such a gentleman,” Taehyung whistles as he shuts the balcony door behind him. “Didn’t know you had it in you, Jeon.”

“I’m full of surprises, you’ll see,” Jeongguk responds, his ear tips red. 

Taehyung walks towards the room Jeongguk pointed to, climbing the short staircase leading to his huge bedroom. The bed, with black satin sheets, has folded clothes placed on top of it. He picks up the green hoodie and the loose shorts as he surveys the rest of the room. A large bookcase stands next to one side of the bed and a bedside table is on the other side. A door connects to the bathroom to his right and a huge mirror takes up an entire wall right in front of the bed. Taehyung gulps as he touches his reflection standing in the middle of the bedroom. If anyone would tell him two months ago that he’d be watching himself in Jeongguk’s mirror and about to watch a movie with him wearing his clothes, he would’ve laughed in their face. He constantly feels like his life is a movie these days. 

One with a happy ending, he hopes.

He suddenly remembers something. “Hey, Jeongguk?”

The reply comes immediately. “Yeah? Do you need something?”

“No, but could you please send me those pictures we took with your parents today? I’d like to upload them onto my story later, if that’s okay with you.” 

Taehyung remembers the way social media broke when his grandmother commented under his engagement announcement. He can’t even imagine how crazy the internet would go when given pictures of Taehyung together with Jeongguk’s family. 

After donning the clothes provided to him and freshening up a little, Taehyung walks back to the living room and finds Jeongguk waiting for him, arms crossed his chest and an annoyed expression on his face.

Great, now what’s this drama queen’s problem?

“What?” Taehyung asks, halting his steps.

“ Speeding Ticket? Seriously?” Jeongguk asks and the older is confused for a second before it dawns on him. 

And he’s seconds away from bursting into laughter.

“You snooped through my phone?” he gasps instead, trying to change the topic since he has no defense against the accusation. 

Jeongguk clicks his tongue. “I didn’t, obviously. I sent you the pictures and your phone was right next to me and when the screen lit up with the notification, I saw the contact name you’ve given me.”

Taehyung presses his lips together to prevent the chuckle from escaping. 

“Why are you acting like this a big deal?” His eyes widen and his lip juts forward. “I’m sorry, did I hurt Jeonggukie’s feelings by mistake?” he asks, pressing a hand to his chest. He enjoys the way the racer scoffs and shakes his head. “Besides, it’s not like you have my name as simply Taehyung in your phone. I’m sure you must’ve kept it something equally ridiculous.”

“I’ll have you know, I’ve never received a speeding ticket in my life,” he defends, a haughty look on his face. “And to answer your question, your contact is simply saved as Taehyung because I refuse to behave as childishly as you do.”

Taehyung tilts his head and raises his eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Then show me. Prove that you’re not as childish as I am.”

Jeongguk hesitates and looks away, just like Taehyung predicted. He realises that he enjoys this teasing, childish banter with the younger, rather than spitting words full of venom only with the intention of hurting the other. It’s not that bad to be friends with Jeon Jeongguk.

“You’re all bark and no bite,” he grins before rushing towards the sofa and grabbing Jeongguk’s phone.

Jeongguk is taken off guard by the action and it takes him a couple of seconds to see his phone in Taehyung’s hand.

The singer smirks at him. “I’ll just check for myself. I know your phone doesn’t have a password.”

He watches Jeongguk’s eyes widen before he lunges for his phone, giving Taehyung less than a second to move away, which he’s unsuccessful in doing.

Arms wrap around his waist, holding him in place. Their chests collide and their faces are inches apart. The fresh smell of laundry detergent invades his nose and he can feel puffs of air on his face.

Taehyung can’t breathe all of a sudden.

“Give me back my phone, precious,” Jeongguk whispers, his intense eyes boring into Taehyung’s.

“No,” Taehyung whispers back, stretching his hand out of Jeongguk’s reach. “First admit that you have a silly contact name for me too.”

“This is so stupid,” Jeongguk sighs, but makes no move to pull away.

Taehyung can see every single mole on his face. His eyes unwillingly fixate on the one below his lower lip. “You’re stupid,” he snaps back weakly. “Just admit it!”

“Fine,” Jeongguk relents, shaking his head. “Your name isn’t saved as Taehyung but as Autotune. ”

Taehyung gasps. “How dare you!” he yells out even though isn’t that offended. The name is actually hilarious and witty if he thinks about it, just like the name he set for Jeongguk.

Speeding Ticket and Autotune. What a pair they make.

But he can’t let Jeongguk know that. He frowns and moves his face even closer, trying to appear more intimidating as he wills his heartbeat to slow down. The hold on his waist tightens at the action and it doesn’t help with the situation at all. “I do not use autotune in any one of my songs.”

Jeongguk shrugs. “I wouldn’t know.”

Taehyung scoffs at his nonchalance. “Just say you want me to sing for you.”

“And what if I do?” Jeongguk responds suddenly, taking him by surprise.

“You– you mean that?” he asks him, his eyes searching Jeongguk’s for any sign of mockery. 

The racer shrugs. “I think I deserve a free performance after tolerating you for nine months.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes. “Fine, but only if you change my contact name.”

Jeongguk clicks his tongue and in a swift moment, holds Taehyung’s wrist holding the phone with one hand and grabs the device with the other, the movement causing their noses to brush against each other. 

Taehyung’s stomach swoops and his eyes close momentarily. What the hell.

Jeongguk moves back easily as if he didn’t just tilt Taehyung’s entire world on its axis. “No can do, at least not until I hear your voice for myself. Now, shall we watch the movie?”

He takes a seat on one end of the pull-out sofa that’s now extended to a small bed and stares at Taehyung expectantly to join him, who’s too busy trying not to collapse from his accelerated heart rate at the moment. 

“Which movie are we watching?” he asks, finally managing to pull himself together enough to walk on the sofa and sit on the other end. 

Jeongguk grabs the remote before turning next to him. “I’ve been wanting to watch Smile for a while now.”

Taehyung settles into a more comfortable position, stretching his legs fully. “What kind of movie is that?” He’s usually not picking with his form of media and usually enjoys almost every genre. He thinks action movies are kind of boring and predictable and he isn’t too interested in watching those but just by the name of the film, he guesses it might be something sweet, maybe a family type movie—

“It’s a horror movie,” Jeongguk answers, effectively stopping Taehyung’s thought process. 

It’s a what now? Something Taehyung despises more than the action genre is the horror, edge-of-your-seat-thriller type movies, something that gives him trouble sleeping at night. He’s the type to scream at every monstrous face that appears and flinch at the slightest jumpscare. There’s no way he’s showing that side of him to Jeongguk. He knows the younger will never let him forget about it.

The colour must’ve drained from Taehyung’s face because Jeongguk follows up with, “Hey, you alright— Taehyung, are you afraid of watching scary movies?”

Taehyung looks away from him. “Not at all, why would you think that?” he laughs awkwardly but he isn’t fooling Jeongguk, who is now looking at him with a huge grin.

“You totally are! That’s so cute,” he says in a teasing manner, colouring Taehyung’s cheeks darker. 

The older makes a face. “That’s not true. I absolutely love scary films! I’m a huge fan, actually.”

Jeongguk shakes his head with that shit-eating grin still plastered on his face. “Alright, then you wouldn’t mind watching one of the scariest horror movies of 2022, right?”

Scariest horror movie of 2022? Taehyung’s so fucked.  

He still tilts his head upwards, too proud to admit defeat. “Of course not. We can watch whatever you’d like.”

“Great! Let me make some popcorn while I prepare drinks for us.” He gets up and hands Taehyung the remote. “Please start the movie.”

Taehyung gulps as he stares at the movie poster on Netflix, a woman smiling terrifyingly at the camera. He clicks on it, palms already starting to sweat. 

It’s perfectly fine. This is just a movie and Taehyung is fucking 23 years old. He can handle a few scary faces and loud noises.

The smell of buttery popcorn fills the room when Jeongguk sets down a tray on the table in front of them containing a bowl of snacks and two glasses. He hands the one with creamy brown liquid to Taehyung, who accepts it with a nod of thanks. 

“So, shall we begin?” Jeongguk asks before pressing play and settling on the couch with a respectable amount of distance between their two bodies. 

The movie begins with a psychiatrist talking to a girl who’s been experiencing some paranormal moments and already by the first jumpscare, five minutes into the movie, Taehyung knows he’s not surviving to see the end of it. 

It’s the exact kind of movie he hates; full of terrifying faces and blood, sudden yells and frights and by the forty-minute mark Taehyung has migrated from his end of the sofa to right next to Jeongguk, their sides pressed together. He barely even realises it and rather than panic about what a mistake he is making, he’s much more panicked about the sickening visuals he’s being forced to watch. Taehyung tries to get comfort from the other’s presence but it doesn’t work. He almost dropped his drink on the leather sofa twice while flinching, and choked on popcorn when a sudden loud noise played in the movie. 

“Ugh! Why would she open that door?” Taehyung screeches to himself at the idiotic behaviour of the main character. 

Jeongguk keeps sending him amused glances, completely unaffected by the movie’s scares. Taehyung appreciates that he doesn’t call him out on his behaviour nor does he move when the older wraps his arms around him, hiding his face behind his shoulder when he thinks something petrifying is about to happen. 

“The scene’s over now,” Jeongguk murmurs softly and Taehyung brings his face out of Jeongguk’s neck with caution, only to see a lady’s neck terrifyingly elongated and twisted upside down. 

He lets out a scream, sending Jeongguk into a laughing fit. He punches his shoulder hard, heart still recovering from the shock and eyes clenching shut to rid himself of the scene. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“You— you should’ve seen your face— and your scream— fuck, I should’ve recorded that—” Jeongguk can barely form a sentence as the laughter doesn’t stop, his face getting redder and water gathering at the corner of his closed eyes.

“You’re so mean!” Taehyung whines, but there’s a little smile on his face that’s hard to curb hearing Jeongguk’s chuckles. 

“It is kind of funny, you have to admit,” Jeongguk grins boyishly, once again reminding Taehyung how young he is.

Taehyung rolls his eyes but his smile widens. “Okay, fine! I hate scary movies, you happy now?”

“Very,” Jeongguk nods wildly. “You still want to continue this?” he asks, sounding genuine this time around.

Taehyung narrows his eyes at him playfully. “Only if you promise not to scare me like that again.” He doesn’t want Jeongguk to leave the movie unfinished just because he’s too much of a scaredy cat. As much as this makes him cringe, it’s fun just being next to Jeongguk right now and feeling his presence next to him. 

Besides, he’s pretty sure he won’t be able to stay awake till the end of it, his eyelids drooping down heavily from the full tummy and alcohol in his system. He’s aware that he should be leaving now since it’s around 2:30 a.m. and he’s sure Jeongguk has training tomorrow but the exhaustion in his body and the warmth of the blanket covering him prohibits him from thinking rationally. He watches Jeongguk grab the whiskey bottle and pour himself his fourth glass of the night and wonders how he isn’t even slightly tipsy right now. Is he so used to drinking this much at one time?

Jeongguk places his palm on his chest, his expression trying to be serious. “I promise from the bottom of my heart.” He tips his filled glass towards him as a show of faith.

Taehyung shakes his head before turning back to the television. His own lips stretch and refuse to stay down for a few seconds after hits play on the remote. The movie seems more than halfway done by now and even though the plot seems kind of interesting, the long day wears him down eventually and he slowly drifts off to sleep, his head dropping down on Jeongguk’s shoulder.

The last thing he remembers is Jeongguk’s body stiffening for a moment before relaxing and then the younger’s cheek resting atop his head.

♬♬♬

The first thing Taehyung registers when he’s awake is the smell of floral laundry detergent surrounding him along with warmth that's borderline suffocating. 

At first, he didn't register it. Taehyung just assumes he’s in his cushy apartment, his bed, his sheets, his clothes, and all alone. Just like always. But that scent is eerily different from his usual room spray and he can’t quite put a finger on it. 

His eyelids feel like they weigh a ton as he tries to open them, trying to place why the cotton-musk scent feels so familiar. For the first few moments of consciousness, he completely forgets where he is and how he got here. 

When he finally opens his eyes, all he can see is black clothes with lettering on it, and something his blurry vision can’t decipher. He hears a long intake of breath that doesn’t come from him only to realise that he’s currently sleeping next to someone else.

Someone whose one arm is wrapped around his waist and the other as Taehyung’s pillow.

It takes him less than a second to put the pieces together. Arms. Cotton-musk. Black hoodie. That fuckass movie.

Jeongguk.

What the fuck. What the actual fuck!

He raises his gaze to confirm his terrifying suspicions; that yes, Kim Taehyung is currently sleeping— no cuddling Jeon Jeongguk right now, his face almost smushed in the racer’s broad chest and head resting comfortably on his arm that’s for sure losing circulation by now. 

Taehyung starts panicking internally, trying to escape Jeongguk’s surprisingly strong grip. Jeongguk, whose eyes are shut as his face is partially hidden in Taehyung’s hair, blissfully unaware what the singer is going through right now as he lets out soft snores.

How the hell did they end up like this? The last thing he recollects is them watching the movie and him falling asleep midway. Why didn’t Jeongguk wake him up when it ended? How did they change positions so drastically?

He tries moving his feet only to horrifyingly find out they are entangled with Jeongguk’s. Oh, someone save him.

Taehyung has always been a cuddler, especially while sleeping. His bed is full of pillows that he uses to hold at night, and if he were brave he’d admit that he’s trying to replicate the feeling of hugging someone, another warm body that holds dear to his heart. But he’s not brave, so pillow cuddler it is. His subconscious very much enjoys the fact that there’s a living human body and not a lifeless lump of feathers pressed tightly against him but it’s everything associated with that body that is causing Taehyung so much turmoil.

He tries to cautiously separate their legs, only for Jeongguk to stir in his sleep with an incoherent mumble that sounds a lot like a complaint from his eyebrow scrunch. The arms around his waist hold him tighter and pull him closer in the younger’s embrace. He feels a delicate flutter in his stomach, akin to the gentle flap of a butterfly's wing.

If Taehyung finds Jeongguk cute at that particular moment, not a single soul has to know.

His hand almost raises to smooth out that wrinkle on Jeongguk’s face. He’s just glad no one is here to witness the little smile on his face as he looks at Jeongguk’s sleepy frown. 

“Finally one of you is awake,” someone says from the other side of the room, making Taehyung jump right out of his skin in surprise. He startles from the sudden sound disrupting the peaceful tranquillity of the room and rolls off right onto the marble floor with a yell of pain, which wakes Jeongguk up as well.

“What—” he sits up straight instantly, barely able to open his eyes in his half-asleep state. His hair looks tousled and his mouth is slightly ajar from all the confusion.

Taehyung winces from the ache in his ass as he turns to see who is in Jeongguk’s house waiting for them to wake up. He wonders if he’s still dreaming when he spots Jeongguk’s trainer Hoseok sitting there, calming staring at the chaos with a coffee mug in his hand and a radiant smile on his face. 

“Taehyung, hey! Very surprised to see you here, I must admit,” he greets, too cheerfully for someone at this hour of the morning.

Wait a second, what time is it?

“Are you okay?” Jeongguk rasps out, rubbing his eyes. His unexpectedly deep morning voice causes heat to settle in the older’s abdomen. “Why are you on the floor?”

Taehyung, still startled by all the commotion, simply glances at Hoseok in answer and watches all the sleep in Jeongguk’s eyes vanish in a snap.

“Hobi hyung, wh– what are you doing here?” he asks, alternatively blinking and rubbing his eyes roughly.

Hoseok sets the mug down and walks towards the two. “Well, you were late for training again, so I thought I’d give you a personal wake-up call. Just in case you drank too much as usual and were in an alcohol-induced coma.” He smiles at Taehyung, who is now standing and rubbing his bruised asscheek. “But now I see that it was for a reason I would’ve never imagined.”

The implications heat Taehyung’s cheeks and when he glances over to Jeongguk, he seems to be in a similar situation. The younger runs a hand through his hair, tonguing his pinkish cheek in a manner that should not be so…appealing to look at since Taehyung has seen it a million times but coupled with his raspy morning voice, he feels his heart skip a beat. 

Probably because he isn’t fully awake yet. Yeah, that’s it.

“Hyung, it’s not like that. Taehyung and I were just—”

“Cutely wrapped up around each other, I’m aware,” Hoseok interrupts and judging by the smile he’s giving the two, he definitely knows their history very well.

Fuck, if their friends get to know about this, they’re in so much trouble. 

“I even took pictures of you! Look, how adorable,” he fishes his phone out and after a few taps turns it around for them to see. A wave of sheer horror passes through the older. Pictures. Plural . 

Taehyung sees himself fast asleep on the screen, lying on Jeongguk’s arm with his face buried in his neck and one hand flung over his body. Jeongguk’s chin rests on Taehyung’s head and his free arm holds him close by the waist, their legs intertwined. 

He realises horrifyingly that the picture is currently posted on Hoseok’s Instagram story with many emojis as the caption and both of them tagged.

Oh my god, they’re never going to hear the end of this.

Hoseok clearly waits for a reaction but before either of them can muster some pathetic ramble of swears, Taehyung’s alarm interrupts them. Thank God.

“I—I have to leave,” he stutters out, grabbing his phone and shutting off the alarm. Taehyung behaves like he didn’t just fall flat on his ass seconds ago with the way he leaps to action. “I have to meet Yoongi hyung in an hour so is it alright if I return your clothes some other time?” he asks, pointing to his borrowed pyjamas. 

Jeongguk tears his gaze away from Hoseok’s teasing eyebrows to nod at him. “Of course. Don’t forget the kimchi and leftover food eomma gave you last night.”

“You met his parents?” the trainer asks, his tone overly suggestive, once again flushing their cheeks. 

“Jeongguk will tell you everything. I have to go now, sorry,” he quickly says, rushing into the kitchen to save himself the embarrassment. He retrieves the food boxes and puts them in the first bag he finds, along with his clothes. Taehyung does his best not to think of the ramifications of what just happened in hopes that a later him, one with food in his belly, will be a little more rational.

When he walks back into the living room, Hoseok and Jeongguk are already talking, a sheepish expression on the latter’s face. “Are you leaving?” Jeongguk asks, refusing to meet his gaze as he plays with the strings on his hoodie. “You don’t even have your car here, do you want us to drop you on the way?”

“That’s, um— that’s alright,” he replies, trying to get rid of his bed head. “I’ll just catch a cab.”

Jeongguk simply nods in reply, so Taehyung turns to Hoseok and gives him a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Hoseok-ssi. I apologise that our first meeting ended so abruptly.”

Hoseok waves it off with a sweet, heart-shaped smile. “No worries, I fully understand. You were preoccupied this morning.” He glances at Jeongguk with a grin. “Now that you two are so… close and our friend groups are practically merged at this point, I’m sure we’ll get many more chances to hang out.”

Taehyung nods and smiles, ignoring the insinuation in the first part of the sentence. “I hope we get one soon.” He double-checks all his belongings before putting on his loafers and pressing the lift button. He waves the two when the doors open. 

“I had fun last night,” Jeongguk says softly as he turns around to enter. 

A genuine smile blooms on Taehyung’s face. “Me too, Jeongguk. We should definitely do it again,” is all he replies with before the doors close.

♬♬♬

Taehyung’s hands hover over the piano keys as he tries to translate the melody forming in his head.

He’s been cooped up in this studio for hours now and the only breaks he took were to receive his delivered food and to pee. He remembers arriving here in the morning at nine, a new vigour in his heart, his body vibrating from the zap of current of inspiration he received after leaving Jeongguk’s house four days ago. For the past few days Taehyung has spent most of his time in Yoongi’s studio or in his room, scribbling every single lyric popping into his head on any piece of paper he can find. 

Tears blur his vision as his eyes beg him to acknowledge how exhausted his body is from the sleep he’s been avoiding, trying not to waste a single moment as the fire in him stays ablaze. He only has so much time until his deadline so he should make use of this passion and crank out as much as he can. 

He hums out the tune swirling in his mind a couple of times before pressing the keys to replicate it. He hits a few clunks here and there but after a couple of retries, he thinks he’s brought the melody he’s been audiating to life.

Writing down the musical notes of the song, Taehyung tries to match it to the lyrics he finished an hour ago. Only after he’s satisfied with the basic first draft in his head does he let out a conclusive sigh and closes his eyes.

Now that he’s done with his second song in just 4 days, he needs a long, warm bath and an entire day of sleep desperately.

But first, he needs to talk to Seokjin.

Grabbing his things quickly, he runs down the hall to the stairs, trying not to stare at his dishevelled state in the glass windows. He doesn’t think there might be other artists here to laugh at his terrible condition at this hour but even if they were, Taehyung couldn’t give less of a fuck.

He almost runs towards the familiar door leading to Seokjin’s office, taking a breath of encouragement before giving it a knock and opening.

The singer is surprised to find Seokjin and Yoongi present, immersed in a conversation over a couple of soju bottles on the table. They both look up in alarm at the sound of the door opening, sighing in relief when they see Taehyung. He tries not to get too sulky over how neither of them invited him to their drinking session. He knows that the two have always been close, Seokjin being Yoongi’s manager years before he was Taehyung’s. Besides, he has much more important things to discuss at the moment. 

“Taehyung-ah? I didn’t know you were still at the company. Have you been here since nine in the morning?” Seokjin’s gaze follows him as he takes a seat next to Yoongi, who flashes him a smile in greeting.

Taehyung nods, slumping down on the furniture. His head throbs and his eyes are barely staying open. “Yeah, I’ve been holed up in Yoongi hyung’s studio the entire day.” He smiles at the producer. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Yoongi waves him off before taking a sip of the alcohol. “What’s mine is yours, you know that.” He offers him an unopened soju bottle but Taehyung refuses.

“No, thank you.” He sits a little straighter, trying to piece all the words in his haywire brain together. “I wanted to tell you something,” he says, addressing both of them.

He looks at their worried faces and tries not to chuckle. None of the other times he uttered these words recently have had positive outcomes so he understands the concern. “I’ve decided to release my debut album in September.”

Taehyung sees Seokjin and Yoongi’s expressions go from concerned to shocked in a couple of seconds. His manager appears stunned, mouth a little open as he tries to absorb the words. “You– what— September?” he gasps out, blinking rapidly. “Taehyung-ah, isn’t that too fast? At our last meeting you said you didn’t want to rush— we don’t even have songs ready—”

“I have two songs ready, actually,” Taehyung beams, presenting the sheets of paper on the table and giving the two a proud grin. 

Seokjin and Yoongi exchange a half-confused-half-amazed look between themselves before turning back to him.

“You…” Yoongi speaks, grabbing one piece of paper and scanning his gaze through it, “You managed to finish two whole songs?” He raises an eyebrow when Taehyung nods in confirmation, still grinning brightly. “We met a few days ago but you didn’t tell me anything about this then.” His tone doesn’t sound accusatory, just genuinely curious.

Taehyung shrugs. “It’s cause I hadn’t written anything back then. I composed these songs in four days.” 

Yoongi lets out an impressed hum at the same time Seokjin laughs in disbelief. “You’re incredible, Taehyungie!” he praises, grabbing the other sheet on the desk. “I just— what’s the rush? I thought you wanted to take your time with it earlier? September is only five months away. You can easily release this album in November or December.”

Something crashes inside of him all of a sudden as he remembers the reason for his hurry. The whole reason he’s been holding himself in that stuffy studio all the time.  

“December sounds too far away, hyung,” he says, tears filling his eyes. He sees his hyungs’ worried expressions return and the two rush closer to him. “Halmeoni might not be here by then,” he cries, tears continuously rolling down his cheeks from how overwhelmed his body is by all the emotion and exhaution. “I can’t release this album without her here, hyung. She needs to be here pressing kisses full of pride on my cheeks and showering me with praises.” He shakes his head. “I refuse to officially debut without my grandmother standing by my side.”

Taehyung lets out a sob and arms engulf him from both sides in a tight hug, curing the pain residing in his heart. 

Yoongi rubs his back while Seokjin gently shushes him, whispering sweet words of reassurance in his ears.

“We fully understand your need for haste and we’ll always be here with our full support, Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin says softly, wiping his tears.

“We’ll do everything we can to release this album in your grandmother’s presence, hmm?” Yoongi reassures him in that deep, soothing voice of his before kissing his hair. “All we want is for you to take care of yourself and be clear with us about everything.”

Taehyung nods in agreement, brushing away the rest of the tears. “I’m ready, I promise. I won’t go too hard on myself either.” He looks at Seokjin. “Could you arrange a meeting with the team as soon as possible?”

His manager nods in determination, slowly seeping into professional mode. “I’ll arrange one tomorrow itself. I’m sure all of them have half an hour to spend for our up and coming superstar!” he grins, lifting Taehyung’s mood instantly.

He feels his cheeks squished. “You have so much passion and potential and I’m damn sure I’m not letting a drop of it go to waste. Taehyung’s going to be the next top Korean soloist, mark my words.”

Taehyung feels a surge of confidence from Seokjin’s words and Yoongi’s certain nod of agreement. Fucking hell, he’s releasing his first album in just five months. He can’t believe this. Soon, he’ll be an artist with music out for the entire world to listen to. 

“Now go and sleep, kiddo. You look five seconds away from collapsing,” Yoongi mumbles and ruffles his hair.

Taehyung grins at the two and nods, bidding them goodbye with a bunch of flying kisses. As he waits for the lift, he feels his heart about to burst from all the love he’s gotten from all the people around him.

It’s time to give it back too. Taehyung’s going to make all his loved ones proud.

♬♬♬

Jeongguk slumps down the bouncy hotel bed with a sigh of relief.

He’s freshly showered, his hair is fluffy from blow-drying and his body smells heavenly from all the bath oils and scents his mother packed for him. He’s warm and his skin is smooth and he’s placed 4th in the general championship,ranking, which is unheard of for a rookie like him.

He slides under the blanket, letting out a long breath as his strained neck lays on the soft cushion. It’s just past 9 p.m. but his eyes are struggling to stay open, the exhaustion from the past few days finally catching up to him. His flight back to Korea is in the evening tomorrow and he’s booked a mini day-tour of the city before boarding. Everything is perfect, all he needs now is to catch up on his sleep.

Just as he feels himself drifting off, his phone noisily ringing snaps his eyes wide open.

Oh fuck. He’s going to murder someone.

It’s supposed to be his free time now. His father promised not to wake him up at least until 6 in the morning for his training and Namjoon reassured him that he doesn’t need to talk to any more reporters or big-shots. He lets out a loud groan before grabbing the device off the bedside table, the anger in his veins turning into confusion the moment he sees the caller ID.

Why the fuck is Taehyung calling him?

Jeongguk’s eyebrows knot while he checks the time for Seoul on his world clock. What is Taehyung doing up at 3 a.m.?

He picks up the call, worry creeping up in his chest. “Hey?” he greets but it comes out more like a question.

“Hey,” Taehyung’s voice pours through the speaker, rich and honeyed.

“Is everything okay?” he adjusts into a sitting position, switching on the bedside lamp.

Taehyung pauses before answering. “Yeah,” he breathes out, sounding uncertain. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“It’s just—” Jeongguk hesitates before answering. “It’s in the middle of the night there, so I just wondered—”

Wondered what? If Taehyung was alright? If he needed Jeongguk’s help? Why would Taehyung call him in times of need? Just because they cleared it all out and have gone on a few nice friendly outings together doesn’t mean they’re automatically best friends now. As if Jeongguk can do anything from all the way here. 

“I’m fine,” Taehyung replies, a smile in his voice. “Aw, is Jeonggukie worried about me?”

He doesn’t know if it’s the nickname or his sleep-riddled brain that causes him to blurt out, “Yeah.”

The other line stays silent for a moment and Jeongguk wonders if he fucked up. They’re friends now, right? It’s normal for a friend to be concerned. Taehyung even slept over at his place a few days ago, albeit accidentally. He shivers, trying not to remember the relentless teasing he was subjected to, first by Hoseok and followed by Jimin, who just laughed at him on call for two minutes straight while he hoped his pretty face wouldn’t burn off from embarrassment. 

“You don’t have to be,” Taehyung speaks softly, popping his thought bubble. “I’m alright, really. I just called because I saw you coming second in today’s race and wanted to congratulate you.”

Saw? Taehyung saw him race. He saw him come second. He wanted to congratulate Jeongguk. 

“Did you watch me race?” he asks, heart rate speeding up for some reason. What’s the big deal if he did? There’s no need for him to sound so excited. Everyone loves Formula 1.

“I hope that’s okay,” Taehyung replies, sounding hesitant. “I was visiting my grandmother and she insisted that my mom and I watch it with her. Didn’t even let eomma prepare for her court date tomorrow.” Jeongguk hears him laugh, the sweet sound falling on his ears.

It brings a smile to Jeongguk’s face as well. “Did you understand anything?” he teases, already knowing the answer.

“Not really,” Taehyung admits while chuckling. “Halmeoni seemed really into it, though. I–” he stops, piquing Jeongguk’s interest. “I might not have understood much of what was going on, but I do know you’re a great racer, Jeongguk,” he says with a voice so soft and sweet and genuine that Jeongguk stops breathing for a moment.

Ever since he was the second one to cross the finish line, he’s been showered with praise constantly. From his father, trainer, team, friends, other racers, reporters; everyone had only great things to say about Jeongguk today.

So why does this tiny little praise from Taehyung cause his heart to beat faster, ready to burst through his chest?

You’re a great racer. Taehyung thinks he’s a great racer.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, unsure if he’s audible over the rush of his blood in his ears. “I’ll teach you the basics of the sport on our next date, if you’d like.”

Fuck, he didn’t mean to say date . Sure, it’ll be a date for the rest of the world but for the two of them it’ll just be a regular hangout. Between friends . You don’t need to make it weird every time, Jeongguk .

But Taehyung doesn’t even mention it. “I’d like that,” he replies, voice all even and cool like it didn’t even bother him. “Then maybe next time I’ll actually know when to cheer for you.”

Taehyung wants to cheer for him . 

Jeongguk bites his tongue to stop himself from making a stupid comment that will ruin the vibe they have going. “How’s halemoni?” he asks, trying to change the topic.

“She’s–” he hears Taehyung breath catch his throat before continuing. “She’s not okay.” His voice sounds resigned and defeated, as if he’s lost all hope in the world. Jeongguk’s heart clenches.

“She looked so weak and feeble today,” he says, voice thick with unshed tears. “I saw her just one week before and the change was so drastic it took everything in me to not have a breakdown right then and there. She could barely stand for more than five minutes and every little action took so much effort.” His voice breaks at the last word and Jeongguk is sure he has tears down his cheeks. Fuck , he should do something. Say something to make him feel better. But he also knows whatever he’ll say to reassure him will do nothing to change the situation or make him feel better. So he lets him speak.

“It sickens me that she’s going through so much pain and I can’t do anything . I feel so–” he sniffs a couple of times, “I feel so useless. Eomma is doing her best but I can see that she feels helpless too. We just want halmeoni to go back to how she was before but I know that’s incredibly selfish of me to think, especially when halemoni’s trying so hard to simply get through the day.”

“Tae, that’s not the case at all,” Jeongguk whispers, trying to sound as soothing as possible. “You just want her to be healthy, how’s that selfish? And I know that my words won’t make any difference but I’m so sorry, really. I wish I could do something to help. Is there truly no treatment?”

“Not for someone who’s as old as my grandmother, no,” he answers, sniffling. “Doctors said that there really isn’t anything that can help her so we kind of have to just wait it out. But thank you, Jeongguk, for listening to me. I’ve been so exhausted these past few days I don’t have time to think anymore. But when I saw my grandmother’s frail body today it just came crashing down on me.”

“You don’t have to thank me. We’re friends now, aren’t we? You can talk to me about halmeoni anytime you want.”

A little pause. “Yeah, we’re friends now,” he confirms, voice a little nasal. “Sorry for ruining the mood. Are you planning to celebrate your win?”

“You didn’t ruin anything. And no, at the moment I’m so tired I can barely stand, so the celebration has to wait for tomorrow.”

Jeongguk hears Taehyung’s little gasp. “Am I keeping you up? Were you about to rest?”

He chuckles before answering. “Not at all. I was thinking of watching something on TV when you called,” he lies, not wanting the older to feel guilty.

What the fuck. When did that happen?

“That’s good, then,” Taehyung breathes out. “Aren’t you in Austria right now? I’m sure it’s beautiful there.”

Jeongguk hums, getting out of bed to grab the tiny bottle of rum from the fridge and a glass. “It is, but I haven’t seen much of it yet. I have booked a mini tour of the city tomorrow, though.” He empties the bottle and settles back under the blanket, filled glass in hand. 

His eyes are begging him to rest but his heart refuses to. He knows he needs to catch up on his sleep before he starts rigorous training tomorrow but maybe he can stay up for one drink. Just one drink won’t hurt, right?

“That’s nice. I’ve visited Switzerland as a teen but I’ve heard Austria is equally gorgeous, if not more.”

Jeongguk is about to ask him about his Switzerland trip when a question strikes him. “What are you doing awake so late though? The race ended hours ago.” 

He’s given interviews, talked to some big names over drinks, chalked out his schedule for next week and took a long bath after the whole ordeal. Surely his grandmother couldn’t stay up until midnight in her state.

“Oh, I was just composing for a while,” Taehyung mumbles out, shyness lacing his tone.

“Composing? As in, songs?” Jeongguk asks, eyebrows raised. He realises a second later how stupid the question must’ve sounded to the older.

“Of course, what else will I be composing?” Taehyung teases. Jeongguk can already imagine the smirk on his face. 

“Shut up, I’ve just driven 4,318 kilometres 71 times today and my brain isn’t working at its full capacity right now.” His bottom lip automatically pops out even though no one is around to coddle him.

“I’m surprised to know that you have a brain like the rest of us. It wasn’t really evident in the past few years.”

“Ha ha. Such a witty comeback, Taehyung. A round of applause, everybody,” Jeongguk retorts, but there’s a smile playing on his lips. It’s fun to bicker with him like this, spewing words without any harsh intent behind them.

“I was composing songs, yes. I’ve written two until now and I just started the third one,” the older says and Jeongguk is genuinely impressed. He severely lacks the creative gene and he could barely write the essays assigned in school, so he can imagine how infinitely harder writing well thought-out, harmonious songs must be. “I’ve been getting a huge surge of inspiration lately and I don’t want to waste it.”

Jeongguk wonders where he’s getting the sudden inspiration from. Or from who, but he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself or assume anything. “Do you like— create the background music or whatever by yourself?” he asks, cringing at how unknowledgeable he sounds on the topic. He’ll surely embarrass himself if anyone asks him about Taehyung’s music in an interview.

Taehyung laughs. “Sometimes, I do. But most times, Yoongi hyung helps me with it. He’s been a great help to me with the other two songs as well.” He sighs. “I sometimes think that I’m this huge burden thrust upon him since I was 19. He helps me so much and not just with my career. I don’t know how to start thanking him.”

“I’m sure you thank him all the time with little gestures of love. It doesn’t need to be verbal at all times, you know?” he comments, sipping his drink. 

“Wow, Jeongguk. I didn’t know you were so wise,” Taehyung replies with a hint of sarcasm.

“I’m a puzzle you haven’t solved yet, precious,” he grins even though the older can’t see it. “So, when am I hearing these songs?”

Taehyung scoffs. “When you purchase my album, of course!”

The racer lets out a fake, exaggerated gasp. “And here I thought I’ll get special privileges by being your fiance.”

“A fake one,” Taehyung corrects, causing him to roll his eyes. As if he needs a reminder. “Get me a ring that you won’t take back after nine months and then we’ll talk about privileges.”

The time specification halts Jeongguk’s thoughts. He hadn’t forgotten about it, of course, just about the condition that made him agree to the whole ordeal in the first place. After the contract ends, Jeongguk and Taehyung go their separate ways, never to speak about or mention each other ever again. 

What changes now that they’re friends? Is their truce only to make this PR relationship a bit more bearable?

“Jeongguk?” Taehyung’s voice breaks him out of his daze. “Did you fall asleep?”

“Hm? No, no I didn’t,” he replies, taking another gulp. The alcohol buzzes in his body and loosens him up. He decides to keep this topic aside for some other day. “And what about your promise to sing for me once?”

“Hmm,” he thinks for a moment before answering, “I might consider it only if you do something for me in return.”

“And what would Your Highness like me to do for him?” he asks, making his tone all posh and accented. 

Taehyung giggles and suddenly Jeongguk feels warm all over. He blames it on the rum.

“Maybe you can let me drive your fancy car once,” he offers and Jeongguk has to stop himself from immediately refusing him. 

“Uhh, hard pass. I’d rather give you both my kidneys.”

“Ew, no thanks. They’re useless anyways, given how often you pee.” Taehyung snaps back.

“I think you might’ve failed biology back in school. The bladder is the organ that holds urine, not the kidneys,” Jeongguk retorts playfully.

“You’re so insufferable,” Taehyung complains, but it lacks its usual venom. “Biology is hard, okay?”

It sounds like they’re teasing each other, almost flirting, even—

Jeongguk, behave .

He likes that no matter that they’re friends now, they’ll always have that spark between them, either of them always ready to ignite the other.

Jeongguk finishes his drink and reaches for another while Taehyung keeps complaining about how difficult it is to remember the function of every organ and system in the human body. 

It’s kinda fun, Jeongguk thinks with a smile, being friends with Kim Taehyung.

♬♬♬

Taehyung is on fire. 

He’s never felt this kind of determination in him before, the will to pour out his thoughts and feelings in the form of melodies almost overwhelming. Ever since his successful meeting with his label, who were more than ecstatic to hear his progress, he can’t stop scribbling lyric after lyric, trying to match it with the tunes he produces every waking moment. His inspiration is almost never-ending. The moment Taehyung thinks he’s done with something, another idea springs, and he’s loving it. 

The sound of his buzzer startles him out of his focused state of mind. He checks the time. Was he expecting someone?

Jimin’s face staring right into the security camera brings a smile to his face. “Hey, Chim. What are you doing here?” he asks, allowing him to enter.

His friend winks at the camera. “I’ll tell you in a minute.”

Taehyung hears a knock on his door a couple of minutes later and he opens the door to a smiling Jimin, whose grin drops as soon as he sees him. “Oh my god,” he gasps, entering his apartment. “Yoongi wasn’t kidding when he said you shut yourself in.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows furrow. Has he? Agreed, he stayed inside the four walls of his home for the past four days, spending every minute working on his music. He’s barely slept and the only thing he’s eaten is unhealthy takeout. But he isn’t looking that bad, is he?

He takes a look at himself in the long mirror next to the door. Oh wow. Maybe Jimin’s reaction isn’t too exaggerated. His hair is tousled, bags decorating his face and his t-shirt has food stains on it. A corner of the room is filled with old food bags, wadded used napkins and empty drink cups. 

“When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?” He sniffs the air and scrunches his nose. “Or perhaps taken a shower?”

“There’s no need to be so dramatic,” Taehyung complains, walking back to his sofa where a bunch of crumpled paper, food containers and empty energy drink cans are cluttered around. “I may have neglected personal hygiene for the past couple of days but it’s nothing too alarming.”

Not like anyone important is going to see him anytime soon. 

Jimin sighs and opens one of the windows. A cool breeze enters the apartment and Taehyung inhales the fresh air like a starved man.

“Okay, enough of this. We’re going out,” Jimin commands, hands on his hips.

Taehyung is about to refuse when Jimin narrows his eyes and sets his jaw.

Phew . That’s one scary tiny man. 

“Can I at least know where we’re going?”

“We’re going clubbing. Yoongi hyung’s DJ friend is hosting at this newly opened VIP club tonight and he wants all of us to be there.” He starts picking up the paper balls, chucking one at Taehyung’s face to get him moving. “Go take a shower first, we’re going to get you all dolled up so you can drink your stress away.”

“I’m not stressed,” Taehyung protests while he dodges it, but the state of him and his apartment proves otherwise. 

Jimin only rolls his eyes in reply, pointing to his bathroom door. Taehyung sighs and trudges inside after grabbing his towel from his room.

There’s a brief wave of guilt that falls over him for not working on music but Taehyung pushes it down. He needs to take a break and live amongst humans for a little bit. 

After taking a much needed shower, Taehyung steps out of the bathroom feeling like a new person altogether. He realises Jimin had cleaned his messy living room in the meantime and was now sitting on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. A surge of gratitude fills him and he smiles. “Thanks for this, Jimin.”

The dancer looks up at him and gives him a grin. “Of course, Tae. Don’t mention it. Yoongi was worried about you and frankly when I saw you, so was I.”

Taehyung shakes his head. “I guess I wasn’t taking it easy for the past week, but I promise it wasn’t too bad.” He ruffles his dripping hair. “So are you going to help me choose my outfit or what?’

“Yeah, but we’re not getting ready here,” Jimin says, getting up. He tosses his phone on the table and walks into Taehyung’s bedroom with a confused owner following him. 

“Then where?” he asks, grabbing underwear from his closet. 

He almost drops the towel when Jimin answers, “at Jeongguk’s, of course.”

“Uh, what? Jeongguk is coming too?”

Jimin turns to him, one eyebrow raised. “Yeah, he is. Yoongi wants all of us to be there, remember? Namjoon, Seokjin and Hobi hyung will join too.”

Oh, so the whole group is going to be there? Taehyung isn’t surprised, since the only thing preventing this was his and Jeongguk’s animosity towards one another. He wonders how it’ll be, to be with Jeongguk around their entire group and not try to bite each other’s head off. He figures it won’t be too hard. He and Jeongguk definitely strengthened their friendship the other day, when their call lasted for two whole hours and the two talked about everything and nothing in particular. Taehyung now knows everything Jeongguk loves about cars and racing and Jeongguk knows all the vinyls and records Taehyung has collected ever since he fell in love with music. The only reason he had to cut the call was because Jeongguk fell asleep in the middle of Taehyung telling a funny incident that happened to him in highschool.

“You don’t have a problem with that, right? Now that you and Jeongguk patched things up and have been having cutesy sleepovers, we all thought it was high time we merged our group.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, cheeks heating up. “It was just a couple of times and the last one was purely by accident.” Such unnecessary add-ons. 

Jimin’s lips lift up into a smirk. “Was it? It wasn’t really clear with how glued your bodies were to each other.”

The comment definitely worsens Taehyung’s blush but he pretends it doesn’t bother him. The photo went viral the moment Jeongguk’s fans got hold of it and spread it on every app possible. Even Minji texted him after seeing it, cooing at how cute it was and how happy she is for them. Another guilty punch to the gut. “You know I’m a cuddler when I sleep.”

“Jeongguk isn’t, though,” he retorts while surfing through Taehyung’s wardrobe. “So imagine Hoseok’s confusion when he saw him pulling you closer to his chest as if his life depended on it.”

Taehyung distinctly remembers the smell of detergent emanating from Jeongguk’s t-shirt as he pressed his nose against his firm chest. Feeling all warm and safe. He gulps.

“Quit being a drama queen and choose an outfit for me, quick.”

After another twenty minutes of discussion and making the room a mess, the two decide on an appropriate outfit for the night. 

They grab the rest of the necessities and dump the bag in Jimin’s car. Taehyung feels excitement thrumming in him. He has been taking way too much stress these days and it shows with how tired he feels, all freshly showered and the breeze from the window blowing on his face. Being outside of that room feels better than he ever imagined. 

“You can sleep for a while, if you want,” Jimin says, stealing a glance at him. “Looks like it’ll take us a little while with the lovely Gangnam traffic.”

It doesn’t take him less than five minutes to drift off. After what feels like just a few moments, he feels Jimin shaking his shoulder awake, letting him know that they had reached their destination.

Still half-asleep and now a little cranky, Taehyung walks through the familiar lobby and into the waiting lift. He sees Jimin scan his fingerprint after pressing the button for the penthouse. 

“You have direct access to his penthouse too?” he asks a little stupidly. As if it isn’t obvious. 

Jimin nods, adjusting his bag over his shoulder. “Yeah. Not just me but most of Jeongguk’s friends. I’ve told him so many times how dangerous it is but he never listens.”

The lift opens directly into Jeongguk’s house once more and Taehyung is once again reminded of the last time he spent here. He grips the bag handle a little tighter. 

“Jeongguk!” Jimin calls out, looking around the apartment. Taehyung does the same, noting how neat the racer keeps it. 

He hears the dancer sigh. “If this idiot is passed out somewhere already drunk, I’m killing him.”

Taehyung raises his eyebrows. “It’s 8 p.m.”

Jimin shrugs, checking his phone. “It’s Jeongguk,” is all he replies with, as if that should explain everything. “Lets check the gym, he might be working out with his headphones blasting again.”

Taehyung blinks. “The gym? How big is this place?”

The other turns to him. “Jeongguk didn’t show you around?”

“Nope, all I saw was this living room, the kitchen and his bedroom.”

“Bedroom, huh?” Jimin’s smirk is extremely smug as he wiggles his eyebrows.

“Shut up, I just went there to change my clothes. Quit acting like a teenager,” Taehyung rolls his eyes.

Jimin giggles and starts walking towards a closed door on the far right of the room. “Well, there’s a small gym below. Jeongguk works out there if he’s too lazy to go to the training centre.”

Taehyung wonders how big this penthouse really is as they descend down the small set of stairs. Maybe he’ll ask Jeongguk to give him a tour later. He sees the equipment as he gets closer and the strong smell of deodorant mixed in with sweat hits his nose. He gets to the bottom of the stairs and looks around.

And then Taehyung’s breath gets stuck in his throat.

Jeongguk is right in front of him. Laying flat on his back on a bench press and lifting a barbell. Laying on a bench press shirtless , wearing only his low-riding sweatpants. 

Oh fucking hell, someone save him.

Taehyung takes a step forward, completely mesmerised by the way droplets of sweat roll down his bare torso, his abs and surrounding muscles convulsing as he struggles to lift the heavy barbell. He gulps as he stares at his huge biceps almost bulging out of the skin, the entire sleeve of his tattoos visible to him for the first time. Now he gets to see all of the intricate designs and symbols covering toned arms that bulge without him even trying. Jeongguk’s eyebrows are scrunched in concentration, lips parted as he lets out little puffs of hair. His hair is matted to his forehead and headphones cover his ears.

Taehyung feels his entire body warm up, throat feeling dry as heat pools in his lower side. 

What the fuck is happening to him? He lets out a shallow breath, heart rate erratic. Has Jeongguk’s body always been this… attractive?

Suddenly he’s reminded of the bare details he had from back when they slept next to each other. The obvious dip in Jeongguk’s sternum, the roundness of his chest against Taehyung’s face, definition on his stomach, obvious through a layer of clothing.

He shouldn’t care at all but, at this exact moment, he does, at least the tiniest bit. 

Jeongguk was always just… Jeongguk . Annoying, cocky, irresponsible, just Jeongguk. But seeing him at his barest, literally and figuratively, is opening up Taehyung’s mind a little. He looks too good to gloss over. 

“Taehyung? Jimin hyung?” Jeongguk’s voice suddenly snaps him out of his daze. When did he drop the barbell and remove his earphones? And when did Taehyung start holding his breath? His chest aches as it begs him to release it. “What are you two doing here?” he asks, staring straight at Taehyung, who has forgotten the concept of speaking with words.

“I– uh,” he stammers out, mouth opening and closing embarrassingly as he wills his thoughts to rearrange themselves into something coherent. “We–” He sees Jeongguk’s expression turning amused and averts his gaze. 

He glances at Jimin for help, who has the same fucking look. “Yes, Taehyung? You were saying?” he edges him on, clearly understanding what Taehyung is going through.

What is he going through, anyways? Fucking puberty? Why the fuck is he reacting to a man working out like this?

“We’re going clubbing,” he manages to get out, finally looking Jeongguk in the eyes. He ignores his smug, pointed expression. “All of us.”

Jeongguk tilts his head before grabbing his water bottle. Taehyung tries not to stare at the way his adam’s apple bobs or the way his thick neck shines from the sweat. “Alright,” he huffs out, picking up his t-shirt from the treadmill next to him and dabbing his chest with it. “You guys can start getting ready while I take a shower.”

The older clenches his fists, his breathing quickening. The way Jeongguk holds eye contact with him as he wipes the sweat off his pecs feels deliberate. Taehyung looks away quickly, hearing him chuckle deeply. 

Fuck this guy.

A hand smacks Taehyung’s back. “That’s our cue, Taehyungie, we should go change,” Jimin speaks, hilarity evident in his tone. “Or would you like to stay here with Jeonggukie instead?”

Taehyung’s head snaps to him, eyes narrowing. “No thanks, I’ll suffocate to death if I smell his stench any longer,” he crosses his arms, trying to sound like he’s in complete control of his emotions. He intertwines his arm with Jimin’s, pulling him upstairs.

When he turns back to look at Jeongguk one last time, his heart skips a beat. Jeongguk is already looking at him, intense eyes swimming with mirth and lips tilted into a smirk. His wink is the last thing Taehyung sees before he’s hauled upstairs.

♬♬♬

It’s almost 11 p.m. by the time the cab stops in front of the club. The moment Jeongguk gets out of the car he sees the entrance packed with people, some smoking not-so-legal substances on one side and standing in line on the other, pleading to be let in. He can hear the faint thumping of the music blasting inside and knows it’s going to be a long night. It’s not like he isn’t excited, though. He’s always down for a night full of drinks and dancing. It’s their first time not only hanging out as a group of 7 after he and Taehyung patched things up but also the first time they’ll have to pretend as a couple with their friends present.

Fingers curl around his own causing him to look up and lock eyes with Taehyung. The singer gives him a pointed look that is familiar enough for the two, an indication to get into their acting shoes. 

Time to be a couple madly in love.

Jeongguk nods at him, raking his eyes down Taehyung’s outfit again. The singer looks almost unrecognisable tonight, so different from his usual nation’s sweetheart image. His hair, now more blonde than silver, looks messily tousled across his forehead. He wears a sleeveless t-shirt with white lettering that’s short enough to be classified as a crop top and leather pants hugging his legs tightly. He wears hoops in his ears along with multiple necklaces and his feline eyes look even more fierce with the smokey eye makeup he’s done. Jeongguk gulps heavily, throat feeling like it’s stuffed with cotton all of a sudden.

Then that sensation is immediately replaced with smugness the moment Taehyung’s eyes scan his entire outfit from head to toe while licking his lips just as he had done back in the gym.

He’s not stupid, he knows Taehyung was checking him out the moment he saw him on the bench press. It was more than hilarious when he struggled to form words when asked to speak and even though Jeongguk was more than surprised that he was the cause of Taehyung’s turmoil, it was frankly entertaining to watch. 

He shouldn’t have enjoyed it so much since he got his karma earlier than he expected. Taehyung has completely rendered him mute with how… hot he looks tonight. Jeongguk always knew Taehyung is attractive— he has two working eyes, afterall— but it never really had an effect on him, no matter how dressed up Taehyung was. If anything, that bratty mouth and perpetual whiny pout always got in the way of his prettiness. 

But Jeongguk had almost dropped his mouth wide open the first time he saw him sitting on his sofa after getting ready, his entire body warming up the moment their gazes met. The exposed golden skin, slender shoulders, intense eyes all dolled up. It was embarrassing, getting caught staring at him multiple times during the car ride, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by both Taehyung and Jimin. 

Was it the outfit? Was it the eye makeup? Or was it the fact that they’re almost matching tonight, foregoing their usually opposite aesthetics and appearing so complementary for the first time?

Jeongguk unconsciously adjusts the see-through top he wears under a large black blazer with extremely baggy pants underneath, almost flashing the band of his underwear. His hair is styled and he too wears nude brown eyeshadow and some contour, his cheekbones and jawline popping out. He’d gone a bit too slutty with his outfit, he’s aware; but for some reason he just felt like showing off his body tonight. He works extremely hard for it and the only time he gets to show it off is during his Calvin Klein photoshoots and that is simply unacceptable for a body like his.

It’s not like his decision making skills were affected by how mesmerised Taehyung looked in the gym, of course not.

“You guys ready to go?” Jimin asks them, gaze flicking to their intertwined hands. His chin tucks into his neck. “Wow, now that’s going to take some time to get used to. The last time I saw you two in a room together you were arguing about eating each other. Looks like it has taken a whole new meaning now.” He cheekily grins at the two before looking around for his boyfriend, eyes automatically lighting up when they find him while the other two shrink in slight embarrassment.

Jimin almost skips to Yoongi in excitement, whom Jeongguk is sure he saw less than six hours ago. A pang of jealousy hits him when the producer gives him a gummy smile in greeting before joining their lips together, the kiss a little too intimate for public. He wonders when will he be the one greeting the one he loves with so much fondness, kissing him like he just can’t get enough of him no matter how long it’s been since they last saw each other. 

He knows he’s just 21 years old but with the way things are going, he’s staying alone forever. 

Taehyung tightens his grip on Jeongguk’s fingers, turning around to whisper to him. “Do they have to kiss so…enthusiastically in public? Like you met each other three hours ago, you don’t have to act like starved men.”

Jeongguk’s lips lift. He’d forgotten how much of a puritan Taehyung was when it came to PDA. He brings his mouth closer to the older’s ear. “I know, right? Wanna show it to them how to kiss appropriately when amongst people?”

Taehyung’s eyes snap to him, cheeks tinted red. He rolls them when he sees Jeongguk’s teasing smirk. “Not everyone gets to see Kim Taehyung like that.”

Jeongguk tilts his head. “Like what?”

“All hot and bothered,” Taehyung replies, gaze flicking to the racer’s mouth for a millisecond. A fire ignites in Jeongguk as he tries his hardest not to visualise him in that state. “That’s something only the person I’m kissing gets to witness.”

Before Jeongguk can do something incredibly stupid, like try to test the theory out for himself, Yoongi’s voice calls out to them. “You guys wanna go inside?”

The inside of the club is similar to every other club Jeongguk has been in; dark interiors, neon lighting, music blasting from the speakers, and bodies pressed against each other, sweaty and drunk out of their minds. The mix of everyone’s colognes, perfumes and BO attack Jeongguk’s sensitive nose instantly but he tries to mask his discomfort. 

He senses Taehyung moving closer to him as they get deeper into the crowd. Jeongguk detaches their conjoined hands only to wrap an arm around his waist, pulling the singer towards him. “Stay close,” he whispers, trying not to think of the way Taehyung’s skin feels under his fingers or the way he curls into his side.

Yoongi guides them up a staircase and Jeongguk is glad they’re away from the crowd. Only the elite are allowed in the exclusive VIP area with its own bar, seating area and toilet, which is full most of the time since it’s the celebrities’ favourite spot to hook up. As they climb, some of the faces around them become recognisable, varying from barely legal but rolling in daddy’s money teenagers to B-list and even a few A-list celebrities merging in the crowd. Some of them turn their heads towards Taehyung and Jeongguk as they walk, a few even glancing at their conjoined hands.

Their group is greeted by Hoseok, Namjoon and Seokjin, the latter two still in their work clothes just with the first few buttons unbuttoned. The three stand up when they spot them and Taehyung lets go of Jeongguk’s hand. 

“Finally!” Hoseok complains when they approach, hands on his hips. “What took you guys so long?” 

Taehyung sighs. “Jeongguk here took way too long to get ready like the pretty princess he is.”

The one accused clicks his tongue in annoyance. Is it a reflex for Taehyung to blame him for everything at this point? He senses them falling into their old routine. “Oh yeah? Why don’t you tell them how it took almost 20 minutes to take one good mirror selfie of the two of us?”

Taehyung scoffs, shaking his head. “That’s cause you looked constipated in almost every single one we clicked—”

“Okay alright, that’s enough,” Seokjin interrupts them, rubbing his temples with closed eyes. “You’re all here now.”

“Damn,” Namjoon says, glancing between him and Taehyung, who now stare at each other with furrowed eyebrows and downturned mouths. “I thought you guys were friends now.”

“We are friends,” both of them reply simultaneously, startling the group.

Jimin giggles teasingly. “You two are just adorable, sharing one mind. Did you argue like this before you cuddled together as well or…?”

Jeongguk tears his gaze away from Taehyung when reminded of the night they spent together. He still doesn’t know how it happened, if he’s honest. One minute Taehyung was asleep on his shoulder and the next thing he knew they had somehow cuddled while asleep. Hoseok and Jimin and sometimes even Namjoon haven’t stopped teasing him the moment they knew of the incident but honestly? He has to admit that it was one of the best sleep he’s had in years now. There’s no shame in admitting he enjoys hugging someone while he sleeps, is there? Plus, the pictures Hoseok took went viral internationally and he’s just glad that the whole ordeal didn’t make his and Taehyung’s relationship awkward after. 

It’s fine. These petty arguments might keep occurring until they get used to their newfound friendship.

Jeongguk sticks his tongue out at Jimin, who just laughs at his childishness. “Okay, now who’s paying for the first round?” he asks, seating himself on his boyfriend’s lap, who's now sitting on one of the sofas in the room. 

After a few rounds of alcohol sponsored by the hyungs, their group scatters around the club, with Taehyung, Hoseok, Jimin and Namjoon on the dance floor and Seokjin and Yoongi off to meet the latter’s DJ friend.

Jeongguk sips on his whiskey as stares at his group on the dance floor down below. Jimin and Namjoon are shaking their heads and shouting the words of the song together. Taehyung moves his body to the music, hips swaying slowly as the song turns sexier, hands messing his hair up even more. He has a grin plastered on his face as Hoseok shows off his dancing skills and Jeongguk feels happy knowing that their group is finally merged into a whole. 

He likes that they gel so well together, even if the fake relationship was the catalyst behind it. It’s nice to hang out as seven.

Jeongguk returns his focus to his friends and his jovial mood is immediately ruined. His eyebrows furrow as he sees yet another guy approach Taehyung while he dances, hands slithering around his waist. Jeongguk’s grip on the glass involuntarily tightens. 

Who is this failed lab experiment and why is he touching Taehyung? 

“Why do you have that murderous expression on your face?” he hears Yoongi ask right next to him, Seokjin on his other side. When did they get back?

Seokjin follows his gaze and smirks. “Oh, I get it now.” 

Taehyung manages to ward the guy off him, face scrunched in disgust as he wipes his waist, which is probably sweaty from the stranger’s hands on him.

Jeongguk grunts. “This is the sixth time someone has approached Taehyung,” he says, voice strained for some reason. “Can’t they see his engagement ring?”

It always warms his heart that the singer never forgets to wear the ring whenever they’re out together. 

Seokjin laughs. “Jeongguk we’re in a fucking club. You can barely see anything down there and besides, everyone is too drunk to notice a damn ring on someone’s finger.”

Jeongguk knows he’s right but it still pisses him off that people keep dancing with Taehyung even though he’s clearly not interested. Don’t they read gossip magazines? Or have social media accounts? God, what losers.  

“You know,” Yoongi says, sneaking a knowing glance at Seokjin, “you can always go down there and dance with Taehyung. Just for a little while, at least until the people on the floor know that he’s taken.”

Jeongguk thinks it over. Him? Dancing with Taehyung? It’s not a bad idea, actually. It might even help them keep up with the whole fake engagement schtick, in case anyone around might record them together. 

Of course there is also that totally common fear of sexually dancing with someone who you just became sort-of friends with in order to perpetuate your fake engagement plan. Completely normal. 

He sees another guy getting closer to Taehyung and he’s had it. “That’s it,” he whispers, mostly to himself as he downs the almost-full glass in one go. His body fires up and the shot goes straight to his brain, making him tipsier than before. Fears be damned. 

“I’ll be back in a few,” he tells the two, who shoot him matching grins. 

“Take your time!” Seokjin sing songs, making him shake his head in confusion. 

It’s difficult reaching his friends standing in the middle of the dance floor due to the insane number of people on it. Jeongguk pushes as gently as he can, reminding himself not to let his anger get the best of him, so it takes him longer than if he were to body slam all of these people out of the way. 

“Jeonggukie!” a nearly drunk Hoseok screams in delight when he spots him. “Come dance with us.”

“That’s the plan,” Jeongguk laughs as he’s pulled into the centre of their tiny circle. He smiles at Taehyung, who gives him a taunting eyebrow raise as the song ends and another one starts. Oh. Is Jeongguk sensing a challenge, perhaps?

Taehyung tilts his head to the side as the beat booms from the base and a sensual tone fills the area. Like a fox, he turns his body so his back is to Jeongguk, hips feeling the beat more than anything. Jeongguk’s lips part at the sight in front of him. 

The beat picks up and Taehyung starts moving his body accordingly and giving Jeongguk a cocky look from his shoulder, prompting Jeongguk to inch closer, their gazes never moving away from each other. 

It’s as if the panicky voice in his brain has been replaced with someone much more confident and less cognizant of everything because Jeongguk steps as close as he’s ever gotten, aside from when they slept next to each other. 

The club is disgustingly hot but with Taehyung’s low-lidded feline eyes on him, Jeongguk gets goosebumps. 

He loves the song currently playing, blasts it in his car all the time when he wants to feel good but Jeongguk barely pays it any attention. He feels like a sailor who’s laid eyes on a siren for the first time, bewitched by the gentle noises from his lips, his sweet scent, and his naturally sultry gaze, allowing himself to be pulled into the dark abyss. 

Because with each passing second, Jeongguk gets closer and Taehyung isn’t pulling back from him. 

The others dance around them but their attention never strays, locked in as the songs keep changing. It takes them a while to realise that they’re the only two from their group left on the dance floor, the others having disappeared in between songs. It doesn’t break their little bubble though, small smiles plastered on their faces as their bodies don’t tire from the constant use. 

The song suddenly changes into something sultry, the mood on the dance floor turning intense as everyone around them picks a partner or scurries off for another drink or to rest. Jeongguk is just about to ask Taehyung for one when he sees arms enclosing his waist, a guy suddenly appearing and sticking himself onto the older’s back.

Jeongguk’s fists clench as Taehyung’s expression turns confused. Irritation seeps in his veins as the stranger just starts dancing along to the music without even regarding the older’s consent before starting. Just as Taehyung’s about to move out of his grasp, Jeongguk reaches his hand out and wraps it around the singer’s wrist, pulling him away from the creep.

Their chests crash as Jeongguk pulls him closer, relishing the gasp Taehyung lets out when his arms envelop his hips once more, replacing the unwanted guy’s touch. “Hey,” he grins, their faces inches apart. “May I have this dance?” 

Taehyung looks stunned as he loops his arms around Jeongguk’s neck. “Yeah,” he breathes out, eyes searching his face. “In case there’s a reporter here.”

Oh, yeah. That fucking contract. 

“Of course,” Jeongguk nods, closing his eyes and swaying along to the music. “For the reporters.” His hands curl around Taehyung’s lithe waist comfortably, like they belong there and twirl him around. His chest presses to the older’s back, nose brushing soft strands of silver, waiting for Taehyung to reciprocate his touch. 

And he does. His hand lifts to hold the back of Jeongguk’s neck and he uses that as the green light to move his hips. 

From there, it goes hazy. The initial stench that bothered Jeongguk so much is replaced by Taehyung’s cologne and shampoo, anger switched out for dangerous desire as their hips move in tandem, almost made for each other. They fit like two pieces of a puzzle, incapable of pulling apart and fused together, belonging as one. 

He watches Taehyung’s back arch, lashes flutter, lips purse and Jeongguk can’t even make fun of him because he’s feeling the exact same way. Locked in a trance and refusing to break free from it.

The music around them almost slows into silence as Jeongguk brings Taehyung closer, their breaths mingling as they dance along to the sensual song. Their bodies get warmer, the singer’s grip on his neck tightening when he feels Jeongguk squeeze the exposed skin of his waist. He inhales deeply as he noses along the sweaty column on Taehyung’s neck, the smell of sweat mixed in with the older’s musky cologne more intoxicating than the alcohol he’s been ingesting all night. 

Fuck, what’s happening to him?

The song transitions into something more upbeat but Taehyung doesn’t let him go. He turns around and his hands clutch Jeongguk’s encircling his waist and he starts swaying his hips fluidly, the movement causing his leather-clad ass to move against Jeongguk’s crotch. The racer’s grip on him automatically gets harsher as heat pools in his abdomen, rivalling the temperature of the club.

All of Jeongguk’s inhibitions fly out and he just goes for it, letting his lips barely brush the sensitive skin on Taehyung’s neck. 

“You’re a good dancer, precious,” he whispers, mouth moving against the soft skin of his ear, fingers tracing patterns on his waist. “How many more of such hidden talents do you possess?”

Taehyung tilts his head sideways and Jeongguk feels his breath near his ear. “Well, it’s your job to find out, isn’t it?” He gently bites the shell, sending a pleasurable shiver down his spine. 

Jeongguk breathes out. “You’re so—”

“Yeah?” Taehyung interrupts him, tone taunting. His eyes hold a mischievous glint in them, fingers trailing along the exposed waistband of Jeongguk’s underwear. “I’m so?”

Jeongguk spins him around by the grip on his waist so that he’s facing him once more. His hands slide dangerously lower, stopping right on his ass, curbing the urge to grab it. “You’re such a fucking tease,” he whispers, planting a kiss right below his ear. 

It seems to be a sweet spot because Taehyung lets out a little pleasured noise at the action, his wide eyes meeting Jeongguk’s when he looks up at him. The air seems to get thicker between them, the distance between their faces barely visible. The younger watches Taehyung’s eyes darken as they focus on the mole under his bottom lip. “Taehyung,” he grits out, the fire inside of him burning more and more with each passing second.

Taehyung doesn’t move his gaze away. “Yeah?” he answers, voice sounding fucked out even without them doing anything.

Shit, what are they doing? Jeongguk’s heart threatens to thud out of his chest as he moves his face impossibly closer to Taehyung’s. The alcohol in their systems is making them do things they wouldn’t even dream of when sober. 

Everything around them disappears as Taehyung keeps staring at the mole as if enchanted, bringing his thumb closer to his chin. He gently touches the skin around it, barely brushing Jeongguk’s lip. It causes the racer to instinctively squeeze his ass a little, Taehyung letting out a low moan in response.

What the fuck. Jeongguk is never going to be able to forget that sound. 

The shape of Taehyung’s ass feels fucking phenomenal in his hands, if he’s being honest. Why the fuck has he never noticed it before? How dare he even think of arguing with a man with such a beautiful ass, anyways? And for two whole years too, when he could’ve had the chance to do this a lot sooner. Taehyung stares at him with his lips parted, eyes wide just like a puppy’s. Maybe he can do it again. Just one more tiny squeeze. Taehyung even seemed to like it earlier—

“Did you two forget us by any chance?” Jimin’s voice breaks them out of their daze. The two separate as if burnt, a cold bucket of water metaphorically being dumped on them. Jeongguk averts his gaze from everyone, choosing to stare at the gross floor instead. 

“Of course we didn’t, Chim!” Taehyung giggles, throwing his arms around Jimin’s chest. “How could you even say that?” He switches completely, like whatever transpired was nothing to him. 

Meanwhile, Jeongguk has gone still like a statue. 

While Jimin pretends to pout and Taehyung coos over him, Hoseok stares at him with his eyebrow raised. “Is everything okay, Gguk?” he asks, seemingly much more sober than before.

Jeongguk wishes he could say something in response. He seems to have fallen into a daze from which he can never be fully woken up.

But of course, he can’t let anyone around him know. “Yeah, obviously,” he says, lips twisting into a grin. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Chapter Text

The cool breeze gently ruffles Taehyung’s ashy golden strands. 

He can only see pitch black in front of him but his other senses are actively trying to place where he stands at the moment. His toes curl into the soft, grainy sand and the sound of waves lapping against each other reverberates in his ears. He takes a deep breath in, refusing to open his eyes. The saline taste of the air falls on his tongue and he knows he’s standing on a beach. 

How did he get here?

Arms wrap around his waist before he can answer his own question. A warm firm chest presses against his back, a face buries into his neck. Musk with a hint of cinnamon invades his nose and he doesn’t need to see to know who is behind him.

A smile forms on his face as he senses lips being pressed against the skin of his neck. The chilly air and the gentle kisses send a shiver down his back, making the other smile too.

“Taehyung,” the smooth voice calls softly, warm breath igniting goosebumps on his skin.

“Hm?” Taehyung hums, tilting his neck to give him further access. He feels the scrape of bunny teeth on his shoulder. 

“I love you,” the man says before once more placing soft kisses on the juncture of his shoulder and neck.

Taehyung smiles fondly before turning to face him in his hold. “I love you too, Jeongguk,” he replies, gazing into those beautiful doe eyes for a second before joining their lips together. 

Taehyung wakes up with a start. 

His hair is matted to his forehead and his t-shirt is drenched in sweat. He doesn’t remember when exactly he fell asleep while working but the sharp pain in his neck gives him an idea of how much time has passed. 

What he does remember however, and that too in ultra high definition, is the horrifying dream he just had. 

The beach. The back hug and the kisses. The declaration of love. Jeongguk. 

What the fuck was he dreaming about?

Why was dream Jeongguk kissing him so intimately and why wasn’t dream Taehyung moving the fuck away from him? How could he feel genuine happiness associated with someone who used to irritate him beyond comprehension? Taehyung shakes his head, trying to get that visual out of his mind. 

Instead of shoving him away, locking Jeongguk in a box and throwing it into the ocean for uttering those words, why did dream Taehyung say them back before kissing him?

The worst of all, why did the dream feel so fucking real?

He touches his slightly cracked lips cautiously as if still feeling the pressure of the racer’s lips on his. The invigorating push and pull still has his heart thumping in his chest which is beyond pathetic. He shakes his head once again and chides himself for overreacting so much. It’s just a dream, nothing to be so ashamed of. Not one second of it actually happened and will never happen. They’ve never even kissed and they don’t love each other. 

He and Jeongguk are just good friends. Their time spent together, both as a group and just the two of them, increased ever since the night at the club. No pictures or articles of the two of them dancing so sensually together were posted but Taehyung can’t seem to admit having forgotten about that contract entirely the moment he felt Jeongguk’s searing touch against his skin. The alcohol in his veins heightened every brush, gaze and breath they shared. Just the thought of it raises goosebumps on his skin but neither he nor Jeongguk made any move to mention that night since then. 

It’s like it never happened. But Taehyung knows he’ll remember every single moment that transpired between them.

The sound of his phone ringing breaks him out of his reverie and his heart lurches the moment he sees the caller ID. 

“Hey, Jeongguk,” he greets, clearing his throat to get rid of his groggy voice. The dream replays in his head once more and he pleads his mind to forget it. Not the time. 

They’ve been calling more frequently now, preferring it to texting. Taehyung has started looking forward to Jeongguk randomly calling him to talk about his day, ask him about the progress of preparing his album or to complain about some rude asshole he encountered at a race. Owing to their busy lives, they don’t get to talk much but they’ve gotten to know each other a lot better and Taehyung begrudgingly accepts that Jimin was right and Jeongguk is actually a pretty fun guy once you familiarise yourself with him. Their personalities go well together and they like a lot of the same movies and videogames. Only their aesthetics are on the opposite ends of the spectrum but he’s recently learnt that the general public absolutely loves that about them. 

“Hi Tae,” Jeongguk huffs out. He sounds a little out of breath, as if in a rush. The nickname makes Taehyung’s lips quirk upwards. “What are you doing right now?”

Taehyung stares at the papers full of scribbled lyrics and notes scattered around his table, some of which are slightly damp due to his drool on them. Ew.

“Well, I was supposed to be composing but I fell asleep in the middle of it,” he chuckles, pressing the phone to his ear with his shoulder. He starts gathering his notes and decides to just go home and take a little nap in the comfort of his precious bed. 

“Oh, shit. Did I wake you up?” 

“Nah, you’re good. I shouldn’t be sleeping anyways, with so much work left to be done. What’s up with you?” he asks, packing his things with a smile. 

“I just finished training,” he replies, prompting Taehyung to glance at his watch.

“Already? It’s barely past five.” His cheeks heat up when he realises his mind had somehow registered the timings of his training during their conversations, even though Jeongguk had never explicitly told him his schedule even when planning their dates. 

Jeongguk thankfully doesn’t mention it. “Yeah. Hobi hyung is down with a cold so he went home early to rest up. I’m supposed to finish the rest of my assigned exercises for the day but I got lazy. It’s not like I need to do them so religiously, with how fit my body is. Don’t you agree, Taehyung?” The teasing is obvious in his tone and Taehyung’s cheeks colour darker. 

So what if he maybe looked at Jeongguk’s body for a little longer than necessary that day? It only happened a couple of times so is there a need for Jeongguk to remind him of it every two days? It’s not like Taehyung mentions the continuous glances the younger kept throwing at him the moment he saw him in his club outfit to bait him, no matter how smug he felt at the memory.

Taehyung simply hums, not giving him the satisfaction of answering.

Jeongguk laughs at him nonetheless. “So since I was done with my training early, I was thinking we could do something tonight. Only if you’re free of course.”

Taehyung thinks of the amazing nap he’s about to take in his soft, inviting bed and how it’ll soothe his exhausted, sore body. “Yeah, let’s do it. I’m free now,” he replies faster than his brain can think about it. Because he can sleep after seeing Jeongguk. “We haven’t made a public appearance together for a long time anyway.”

There’s a pause on the other side of the call before Jeongguk replies, “Right.” Taehyung blinks, trying to decipher the shift in his tone. Did he say something wrong? “Will you be ready in around an hour?”

Taehyung stares at his crumpled, mismatched outfit. “Depends on where we’re going. How do you want me to dress? Fancy, casual…?”

“Warm,” Jeongguk replies, surprising him. “I want you to dress warmly. Be ready in an hour, I’ll pick you up at your place,” he instructs before cutting the call with a goodbye. 

♬♬♬

“So I’m literally running through the lobby towards my precious pizza, hunger consuming my entire being when I bump into this idol who immediately starts yelling at me as if I sold their kidneys on the organ black market,” Taehyung babbles on, just as he’s done for the entire hour it’s taking for them to reach the place Jeongguk has chosen for their date.

The atmosphere has taken a complete 180 degree turn from the first time he sat in Jeongguk’s car almost two months ago, on the way to his family home with him as Taehyung’s fiancé. The two stayed completely silent during the entire journey, nerves eating up their insides and making them fidget continuously. Trying to form some plan to save the blunder he made in a split second. 

Now, the two sit comfortably for the entire ride, Taehyung being his usual self and not letting silence reign over them for more than two minutes by blurting out whatever pops into his mind. Jeongguk looks like he’s struggling to keep up with Taehyung’s yapping and focus on the road at the same time but the singer appreciates the effort. 

“So who’s the idol?” Jeongguk asks, glancing at him while they stop at a red light.

“Why is that necessary?”

Jeongguk chuckles before pressing on the gas, resting his hand on top of the gear shift in a casual manner. “Isn’t that the whole point of this story? To give me some juicy inside gossip about some well-loved idol?”

Taehyung frowns. “No? The whole point is that this idol was extremely rude to me just because I accidentally bumped into him and—”

“So it’s a guy?” Jeongguk interrupts, causing Taehyung to smack his shoulder in reply. “Ow! What was that for?” he exclaims, turning to flash him a glare.

“Do you really care more about the idol’s identity than my feelings and respect?” Taehyung folds his hands. 

Jeongguk sighs and shakes his head. “Of course not, Tae. Continue.” He turns his attention back to the road.

“Right. So we bumped into each other and this guy gives me a scowl and tells me to watch where I’m going,” Taehyung narrates, huffing out in anger just by remembering.

The racer turns to him after a moment of silence. “And then? What happens then?”

Taehyung shrugs. “Nothing. That’s the end of the story.”

Jeongguk looks at him in disbelief. “You’re joking. This hurt your feelings?”

Taehyung’s bottom lip juts out even though the other’s eyes aren’t on him. “How dare you give your rational and logical input to my ranting? You’re being a terrible friend!”

Jeongguk shakes his head but this time with an amused smile on his face. “You’re truly something, Kim Taehyung.” He stops the car and pulls the handbrake. “We’re here.”

Taehyung blinks, not having realised they’re in a parking garage right now that’s nearly empty. There are no signs or posters around them to indicate where Jeongguk has brought him, only numbers next to the parking spots. “And where is here, if I may ask?”

If this is the abandoned desolate area where he gets killed—

Jeongguk opens the car door for him. “You’ll see. Come on now, we don’t want to be late.”

Taehyung gets out of the vehicle only to be hit with the hot summer air and cringes immediately. “Ugh, why the hell are we supposed to wear sweaters for whatever this is?” He pulls the thick scarf away from his sweaty skin. “It’s almost June and I’m boiling in three layers of clothing.”

“First of all,” Jeongguk says as the beep of the car locking is heard. “I never asked you to dress this warmly.” He rolls his eyes as he steps next to him. He’s dressed lighter than him, wearing only a matching dark blue hoodie and sweatpants set, a white t-shirt peeking underneath. Taehyung sees him rake his gaze down his figure and he feels his face get even more warm. “Secondly, You don’t ever stop complaining, do you?”

Taehyung clicks his tongue. “Never,” he confirms, sweat starting to bead on his forehead. 

Jeongguk chuckles and takes Taehyung’s beanie off. He almost sighs in relief when fresh air hits his clammy hair. “At least take this stupid beanie off.”

“It’s not stupid, it’s cute!” Taehyung gasps dramatically before snatching it from him, holding it close to his chest as if Jeongguk’s insult hurt the beanie’s feelings.

“Whatever you say, precious,” Jeongguk laughs before wrapping his arms around Taehyung’s waist, pulling him closer. The action feels too natural, as if the younger did it without thinking and it sends Taehyung’s mind into a spiral. 

Stop overreacting , he chides his overdriven brain as he feels the warmth emanating from his touch even though the thick material of his clothes. He only did it since we’re on a date right now. For the public. Even though there isn’t a single soul around them at that moment.

They’ve been on multiple dates in the past few weeks, whenever they have the time. It’s more like they are hanging out as friends rather than romantic outings these days but their fans eat it up nonetheless. Each time they go out, Twitter and Instagram tremor with the amount of pictures, edits and freakouts. They’ve touched each other like this many times, especially whenever they spot someone recording or taking pictures from their peripheral vision. Holding hands, cheek kisses, hands around his waist are common occurrences now. Taehyung doesn't even bat an eyelash when Jeongguk initiates PDA, knowing that it’s in their contract so they don’t look like emotionless robots but today it’s different somehow.

It’s all because of that stupid dream. Taehyung still can’t wipe the smile he gave Jeongguk before kissing him out of his head. 

His brain is definitely trying to mess with him by making him get these weird feelings over the stupidest shit. He tries to distract himself by checking out his surroundings. He squints at the sign they’re approaching to realise it reads Ice skating rink.

Taehyung lets out a gasp. “We’re ice skating?” he squeals like a little child in Disneyland.

“Yeah. I remember you saying you miss the winter already so I thought it’d be a nice idea,” Jeongguk smiles shyly, scratching the back of his neck. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Mind? Taehyung will start jumping up and down in joy any second now.

“I can’t believe you remembered!” he exclaims, eyes gleaming. “Thanks, Jeonggukie.”

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Don’t mention it. I called in advance and they said there was barely anyone here around closing time, so I booked us the last spot. It’s only an hour but something is better than nothing, I guess.” He shrugs.

“You’re so sweet,” Taehyung gushes, unable to help himself. He’s got a goofy smile on and he swears his insides have melted into a pile of mush by this point. 

Jeongguk’s cheeks colour pink. “It’s nothing, really.”

It’s not nothing. Taehyung only barely remembers mentioning to Jeongguk how much he hates the heat and how he’s dreading the summer that was approaching them two weeks ago but the fact that the younger not only remembered this insignificant detail but also went through all this trouble to find them an ice skating rink that wasn’t too crowded for their comfort surprised him pleasantly. For someone who says Taehyung complains too much, Jeongguk sure does remember every detail when he does.

The two walk together inside the building and are immediately hit by a blast of cold air. 

Taehyung hugs his jacket closer to his body. No matter how much he was complaining earlier, he’s glad he wore all these layers tonight. He sees Jeongguk take the beanie from Taehyung’s hands and put it on his head and his stomach does another tiny flip. He likes that they have gotten comfortable enough with each other to share their things without asking but despises his brain for reading into each action too much. “It’s colder than I expected,” he mutters, adjusting it over his hair. 

Taehyung grins. “Glad I dressed up this warmly, huh?” he teases, bumping his shoulder against Jeongguk’s, who just sticks his tongue out in reply. 

The two of them walk to the reception chuckling, Taehyung holding his hand as they walk closer. Jeongguk’s fingers curl around his and the cold seeps away from his body.

“Hello there!” the receptionist greets them, her gaze flicking to their joined hands for a second. She gives Jeongguk a smile. “Jeongguk–ssi! We’re honoured to have you here. My son loves to see you race.” She turns to Taehyung and nods in greeting. “You must be his fiancé, Taehyung-ssi. Welcome to our Ice skating rink! I already have all your things ready.”

Jeongguk gives her a bashful smile. “Thank you and your son for arranging everything.”

She waves it off, getting up from her chair and picking up a box against the wall. “Here are your skates and gloves.” She places the small box in front of them. “You have one hour to skate, until closing time. Someone will remind you when there’s 5 minutes left.” She smiles at them again. “The rink’s that way and there’s only around ten to twelve people at the moment. I hope you have fun!”

After putting on the skates and the gloves, the two hobble towards the rink that’s bigger than Taehyung imagined. The air gets colder and the shouts and cheers of a few kids and teenagers echo around them. Most of them flopping about or attempting to look like professionals. He feels Jeongguk nudge him as they’re about to enter. “You do know how to skate, right? Or is this like the time we went bowling?”

Taehyung clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Shut up, I was too embarrassed to admit I was bad at bowling at the time. I can ice skate. I’ve been doing that on our private lake every Christmas since I was four.”

“You have a private lake ?” he hears Jeongguk gasp. “How rich are you again?” He shakes his head when Taehyung shrugs. “Maybe I should marry you for real.”

The singer laughs. “Weren’t you telling me I complain a lot just a few minutes ago?” The thought of marrying Jeongguk and spending the rest of his life with him spread an unfamiliar warmth in his chest. His dream flashes in his mind once more, the two saying I love you to each other before kissing. 

Is that what it would be like, if they got married for love?

Taehyung blinks his eyes rapidly. Why does he keep on thinking about that stupid dream?

“Woah, did my marriage proposal affect you that much?” Jeongguk grins when he doesn’t reply, breaking him out of his stupor. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t serious about it.”

Taehyung scoffs. “I wouldn’t have accepted it even if you were. I’d rather stay single for the rest of my life than marry you .”

The corners of Jeongguk’s lips lift as he leans closer. Taehyung’s breaths hitches and he can’t seem to move away from him fast enough. “Oh yeah?” he asks, front teeth gently biting his bottom lip. “Even though I’m such a good fiancé?”

Without much distance, Taehyung gets a good view of the tiny details on Jeongguk’s face. His skin is honestly flawless and the scar on his cheek is deeper than it looks from afar. The metal in his eyebrow glints and the ring pierced into his full bottom lip holds perfectly around the pink curve, appearing more delectable than ever. 

“And who said you’re a good fiancé?” Taehyung retorts, breath shaky for reasons unknown. 

Jeongguk curls his arms around Taehyung’s waist, pulling him closer. “No? Don’t I treat you well, precious?” He tucks a stray piece of Taehyung’s hair behind his ear. Heat follows the trail of his fingers. 

Taehyung pretends to think about it while Jeongguk tightens his hold. He draws his face impossibly nearer and he feels his heart skip a couple of beats. A memory flashes in his head. This is exactly how close they were when they ki—

“Excuse me? Could you two move out of the way, please?” a voice breaks their bubble, prompting them to separate instantly. A middle-aged lady stares at the two with disdain as she holds her toddler’s shoulders on the other side of the entrance.

Taehyung realises they were blocking it when they— when they were what? Cuddling? Why the hell did Jeongguk hold his waist like that? They were teasing each other playfully, sure. But is that how friends usually tease? Is Taehyung supposed to feel like his heart is about to pound out of his chest?

He makes a sheepish face, moving away so the two can enter the ice. Jeongguk focuses on the view in front of him and looks away from Taehyung while scratching behind his neck. 

He must’ve done it for the public, he concludes, his face warming up. Of course he did. Somehow Taehyung forgot they had a show to put on.

“We just have 50 minutes left,” Jeongguk says, face tinted pink as well. “You wanna skate now or…?”

The two grip the sides of the rink and place their skates on the ice, Taehyung’s knees wobbling a bit. It’s been a couple of years since he’s done this, unable to enjoy the activity properly after everything that happened with his family. 

He gulps. Gliding on the ice without his brother and grandmother at his side feels a little strange, even after three years. He shakes his head to rid himself of the heavy feeling in his chest. Will it ever stop hurting?

Jeongguk steps on as if he was born to ice skate. Twirling around like he’s Yuna Kim and smiling brightly. 

“Come on!” he calls him, excitement lacing his tone with his eyes shining. He stretches his hand out for Taehyung to hold and when he does, his chest lightens a little.

It takes a little time for Taehyung to get used to ice skating once again. A few wobbles and almost-falls here and there later he’s gliding on the ice with a huge smile on his face, his hair blowing slightly as he gathers speed.

The rink is huge and with less people it’s easy for them to freely skate around. A couple of the skaters must’ve recognised them because they repeatedly glance at the two, sometimes whispering to each other while staring. 

Taehyung and Jeongguk spend all their time slicing through the ice around the circular rink, laughing and showing off all the tricks they know. Jeongguk is equally good at it, given how his job requires him to be good at coordination, so they often race against one another, teasing the loser non-stop until they start another. Taehyung feels stress slowly leave his body as they skate, sometimes hand in hand. After years of staring at other couples skating with disgust, he finally gets the appeal, albeit his relationship isn’t exactly real. The two share funny incidents and stories of them ice-skating over the years and while Taehyung chokes up slightly while narrating some of his, it also feels good to relive those memories. He just misses his family.

“Are you having fun?” Jeongguk says as he does another little twirl to face him. Taehyung’s body wobbles a little as he brakes, balancing himself on the ice. 

He nods with a huge grin plastered on his face. “It feels really refreshing.” He adjusts his coat with a sigh. “I’ve been so preoccupied with my album lately and with all that’s going on with halmeoni…”

Jeongguk’s mouth turns downwards. “I understand. I’m glad this feels like a tiny change for you.” Taehyung flashes him a grateful smile. It’s another regretful reminder that they wasted so much time fighting when they could’ve spent time like this years ago. “How’s halmeoni?”

Taehyung shrugs. “The same. She’s been taking meds to ease the ever-growing pain in her joints but I don’t think it’s helping her much.” He smiles a little despite the melancholic fact. “I’m meeting my family for dinner this weekend, though. So I’ll see her then.”

Jeongguk returns his smile. “That’s nice! You— you must miss staying with your family, no? Jimin hyung told me you moved out at a young age.”

Taehyung feels his throat clogging up. Does Jeongguk know the full story? Would he pry if he knew?

No, he wouldn’t. Jeongguk might be a lot of things but he’s never been nosy. Not the type to prod for information until it pleases him. Anything Taehyung told him was his own choice. Plus, Jimin would never tell him since it’s such a sensitive topic for Taehyung. No matter how much closer they’ve gotten now, Taehyung still isn’t ready to disclose his broken family history to Jeongguk. At least not here. He’ll tell him at his own pace, when the timing is right.

“Yeah,” he smiles a little sadly. “I really do.” His voice is soft, fragile and weak. 

Someone comes to remind them that their time is almost up. “Wow, time went by fast, didn’t it?”

Jeongguk nods before raising an eyebrow. “Wanna race one last time? Loser buys dinner tonight.”

Taehyung shoots him a smirk. “Oh challenge accepted, Jeon.” 

Jeongguk turns around again, lining up next to him. “On three,” Taehyung says, getting into position. He’s so winning that free food. “One, two— oof!”

He’s unable to finish his countdown as the wind gets knocked off of his lungs, a heavy body crashing into his back and sending him tumbling down to the floor. He feels his foot twist on the ice with a screech and he turns around mid-air before falling right on his ass, a zap of pain shooting right up his spine. He clenches his eyes shut as he hears Jeongguk shout. “Taehyung! Oh my god, are you okay?” 

He nods in reply but he is convincing no one. Taehyung can’t control his expression, twisted in pain with tears forming in the corner of his eyes. Even Jeongguk can detect that the fall wasn’t an easy one. 

“What the fuck? Can’t you see where you’re going?” he hears Jeongguk yell and opens his eyes to see his furious eyes trained on a boy in his late teenage years. The poor boy and his friend both have guilty expressions on their faces. 

“I’m really sorry,” he says, gazes flicking between the two. The guy extends a hand to help Taehyung out, who's still on the floor. “We were just trying to goof around before going home and didn’t see you two standing there.” He gulps. “I’m really sorry. To you too, Jeongguk-ssi.”

Taehyung sees Jeongguk’s angry features soften when he realises they recognised him. He sighs. “Just be careful next time, alright? You could’ve gotten hurt too.” He turns to Taehyung and bends down to help him up. “You alright?” he whispers, eyes scanning his entire body as he slides an arm around his torso to support his frame.

“We’re sorry again. Should we help you to the benches?” the boy asks and Taehyung shakes his head with what he hopes is a sweet smile. 

“It’s alright, buddy. I’m perfectly fine, so you don’t need to apologise at all, hmm?” he replies, ruffling their hair. “Jeonggukie here will take care of me.”

The two boys nod and after another unnecessary apology, skate towards the exit. Taehyung rolls his eyes at Jeongguk. “Was there a need to yell at those poor teenagers?”

Jeongguk clicks his tongue. “You got hurt because of them, they need to consider other people’s safety while doing stuff like this.”

“They’re kids! You’re such a drama queen,” Taehyung giggles, nudging the younger gently so that he stops being angrily pouty. “Now, shall we leave? I’m starving.” His back has started to throb but he’s not telling Jeongguk that.

“They were only a few years younger than I am, but sure,” he rolls his eyes, before gliding towards the exit, only pausing because Taehyung lets out a pained hiss. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Taehyung nods, ignoring the pain shooting through his ankle at the slightest movement. “I think I hurt my ankle during the fall.” He shakes his head. “It’s fine, I’m sure. These skates must be worsening it or something.”

Jeongguk doesn’t look convinced but he nods nonetheless. “Lean on me fully until we leave the rink, okay? Hopefully it’s not too bad.”

Taehyung worries the same. He has so much work to do that he cannot afford to stay bedridden for even one day. But when Jeongguk starts leading him towards the exit, he realises his fears are the reality. His ankle was definitely sprained, with how difficult the slightest movement was and how he couldn’t stop letting out little huffs and grunts in pain, no matter how slow and careful Jeongguk was with him.

By the time they reached the benches, Taehyung was sweaty and his jaw was tightly clenched. His back pain worsened ten times and when he took that dreadful footwear off he could already see the slight swelling around his ankle. 

Jeongguk sits right next to him, eyebrows furrowed. “Taehyung, that does not look good at all,” he comments, worry clear in his expression. Taehyung's heart warms up. “It’s already purple and everything.”

Taehyung waves it off. “I’ll be okay. I just need to limp to the car and then we get some painkillers and ointment at the pharmacy.”

“Should I ask for an ice pack? They definitely might have some first-aid kit around here,” he suggests, round doe eyes staring at Taehyung when leaping to his feet.

“Jeongguk, there’s no need—”

“Is everything alright?” the lady from earlier suddenly appears, staring at the two in concern. “I heard you got into an accident, are you alright?”

“I’m fine—”

“He’s not, his ankle is clearly swollen,” Jeongguk interrupts and glares at Taehyung, who simply rolls his eyes. “Could I maybe have an ice pack?”

The lady looks a little guilty as she shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I do not have one here. But there’s a 24/7 pharmacy ten minutes away from here and I could give you the address of the nearest hospital if you’d like.”

Taehyung sees Jeongguk opening his mouth to reply but he beats him to it. “There’s no need for that, but I really appreciate your help,” he smiles at her, bowing slightly. “Yes, my ankle and back hurt a little but I’ll just buy some medicine at the pharmacy for it. Thank you again!”

He tries standing up but hisses again, causing Jeongguk to jump out of his seat. He helps Taehyung once more by letting him lean his entire body against his and it’s another reminder how strong and fit Jeongguk is. 

Taehyung feels a funny feeling in his abdomen but his pain squashes it down. 

He notices a few people staying back even though it’s well past closing time, watching him take hesitant, painful steps towards the door. It’s so fucking embarrassing and Taehyung wishes he could just run out of here but his ankle refuses to cooperate. Jeongguk keeps shooting him worried glances at every groan until he clicks his tongue in irritation after two minutes of agonisingly trying to move.

“Okay, that’s it,” he whispers before hooking his other arm under Taehyung’s legs and the next thing he knows, his feet have lifted from the ground as Jeongguk carries him bridal style.

What the actual fuck .

“Jeongguk!” Taehyung yells, throwing his arm around his shoulders as the racer adjusts him in his hold, fingers digging into the meat of a very defined shoulder. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing?” Jeongguk huffs out. He doesn’t seem to struggle holding Taehyung up one bit. “We would’ve taken years to reach my car at this rate. Plus, I could see how achy each step was for you.”

“Aw, is Jeonggukie worried about me?” he asks teasingly but there’s no humour in Jeongguk’s expression when he immediately replies with a firm, “Of course.”

His smile crumbles a little at the sides. Anyone would be worried if their friend got hurt. It’s human nature. But he doubts friends carry each other like this. Taehyung stares into those dark brown eyes shining under the light, his heart thudding in his ears and he knows friends don’t do this. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything else or look away, and the singer imagines his gaze softening. 

“Oh my, you two are adorable ,” the lady speaks with a teasing tone. “Jeongguk-ssi cares for you a lot, huh?”

Taehyung feels his cheeks heat up, especially when he turns towards her and sees the people staying behind look at them with fond smiles on their faces. The girls from earlier have their phone cameras capturing the moment too. He can only nod as Jeongguk shakes his head exasperatedly. “Unfortunately I do,” he jokes. “Thank you again for all your help,” the racer tells the lady before he starts walking towards the exit. 

“We should look up the pharmacy she mentioned before we head to dinner. And maybe we can get take out so I don’t have to embarrass myself like this in the restaurant,” Taehyung says, tightening his hold around Jeongguk’s neck. His feet slightly sway with each step and he’s enjoying being carried way more than he’d like to admit. None of his ex-boyfriends were strong enough to pick him up and he realises what he’s been missing out all the years. The feeling of being pampered is rather nice.

“Of course, princess. Whatever you want,” Jeongguk replies with a chuckle that worsens the flustered blush he has on his face.

“Shut up,” he weakly retorts before embarrassingly burying his face in Jeongguk’s neck. The scent of musk engulfs him and he’s once again transported back into his dream. Fuck, did he get a concussion perhaps? His mind feels a little light-headed.

The car appears quicker than Taehyung prefers but tells his mind to quiet down. He pulls his head away, hating how much colder the air is in comparison to Jeongguk’s body. “At least we got some solid couple footage out of this, huh,” he says, trying to sound lighthearted. 

Because why else would Jeongguk pick him up so suddenly? Surely he must’ve seen the girls earlier and guessed that they’d take pictures and videos if he did something like this. A genius move on his part, really. Taehyung could never come up with this stuff, but again, he’d forgotten that they were supposed to be on a pretend-date in the first place.

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk asks with a puzzled expression on his face. “What footage?”

Taehyung pauses for a moment before replying. “The two girls who were recording us. You know, the ones who kept looking at us the entire time we were skating.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says as they reach the car. He balances Taehyung’s entire body with one arm while he opens the car door. What the hell, does he weigh nothing to this man?

Jeongguk helps him get in his seat and he furrows his eyebrows. “You’re telling me you didn’t see the girls?”

“What girls?” he asks exasperatedly, reaching over to buckle Taehyung’s seatbelt for him even though he’s perfectly capable of doing it himself. 

Fuck, they’re so close again. Taehyung swears he can taste the fruity scent of Jeongguk’s lip balm.

The click of the seatbelt can be heard as Taehyung searches Jeongguk’s eyes. “Two girls were recording us when you picked me up,” he explains. “That’s why you did that, right? Cause we’re on this fake date?” Cause if not for PR, then why else would Jeongguk carry him?

Realisation dawns on Jeongguk, immediately replaced by an unreadable expression. He stares into Taehyung’s eyes intensely, as if doing some searching of his own. Taehyung can feel his breath mingle with Jeongguk’s and his stomach continuously flipping as neither of them move from their positions. 

He would pay millions of dollars to know what is going on in that handsome head of his. What was it exactly, if not this whole scheme, that drove Jeongguk to do this?

“Yeah,” Jeongguk breathes out after those few moments that felt like aeons. “That’s exactly why I did it,” he mutters before walking over to his side.

Taehyung licks his lips as Jeongguk shuts the door to his side. He was right, of course. Jeongguk only picked him up because he thought it’ll make great material for tomorrow’s articles. That was the obvious answer and exactly what Taehyung was expecting.

He glances over to Jeongguk and sees his jaw slightly rigid. 

Then why isn’t Taehyung satisfied with it?

♬♬♬

Taehyung’s stomach has been a cocktail of nerves and nausea all morning.

He’s not sure why that is, exactly. Today isn’t supposed to be too stressful; the only tasks on his agenda are pitching a concept for his upcoming album and then lounging on the couch until he drives to his parent’s house for dinner. His label eats up every single one of his ideas and he’s meeting his grandmother after two whole weeks so there’s no reason for him to feel anything out of the blue. 

But a heavy ball settles at the bottom of his stomach, small at first but slowly growing throughout the day until he felt like a boulder was weighing him down each step he took. 

Taehyung believes in his gut feeling more than anything and it isn’t looking too good for him today.

He tries to ignore the nervous anticipation in his body as he sits on his couch, waiting for his taxi. He doesn’t know if he’ll be drinking tonight and he doesn’t want to trouble their driver again so he chose not to take his car. 

He passes the time by checking his outfit repeatedly even though he isn’t wearing anything special: a simple dark blue shirt tucked into black pants. It doesn’t do much to curb the nervous energy eating at him from within. He opens his various social media apps, all of which are flooded with photos and videos of Jeongguk carrying him out of the ice skating rink even though it’s been two days already. Seokjin took it as the perfect opportunity to release a statement that Taehyung’s debut album will be releasing this year and it’s all everyone is talking about, wondering if there’ll be any songs inspired by Jeongguk in his album. All articles on both of these topics got an immense amount of hits and safe to say, Taehyung and Jeongguk are the most talked about couple on social media at the moment and not just in Korea. 

Taehyung opens his and Jeongguk’s chat and rolls his eyes with a smile at the last conversation he had with the racer this morning. 

speeding ticket

i trained so much yesterday i can’t feel my legs

AND i have to do the same today i’ll kms

deserved for sending me the video 

with that horrible jumpscare last night

also i thought u were on a break this weekend

speeding ticket

tell that to my dad bruh

he thought ‘rest weekend’ in the championship

meant more time for training :/

did you have that meeting with your managers?

no it’s in an hour

speeding ticket

ooo okay good luck! 

they’ll love your idea don’t worry

your label will do anything for you, no joke

hope so TT

speeding ticket

i would’ve said break a leg

but i might be too late for that

ha ha.

ur so annoying

speeding ticket

wow you’ve never mentioned that before

anyways, i need to go now

my break just ended and hobi hyung is terrifying

ttyl bye 

He wonders if he’s done with training by now, if he should call him to tell him about how the meeting went. Maybe they can also plan to do something on Monday—

Calm down, Taehyung. It’s only been two days since you last met Jeongguk.

His insides heat up when he realises how eager he’s been to talk to Jeongguk these past few days, always texting him whenever something funny or interesting happens during his day and asking him about how his training is going. Jeongguk replies quickly most of the time unless he’s in the middle of practice or working out and he’s been anticipating his notifications every time his screen lights up, no matter how much he tries to deny it. The racer usually prefers calling since by the end of the day he is either too exhausted or drunk to text. 

Taehyung has noticed how his ‘one drink before bed’ policy has slowly gone from three to five by now and although he is getting worried, he doesn’t know how to approach the matter with him. Or if he even should approach it. Are they close enough for Taehyung to discuss his concerns with Jeongguk?

A notification on his phone lets him know his taxi is waiting for him outside the gate so he puts his cap and mask on before heading downstairs. The ride to the Kim mansion is a lengthy one so he tries to focus on the demos Yoongi sent him rather than worrying about how the dinner might go. It stops his brain from anticipating the worst, which is what Taehyung needs right now. The last time he gathered with his family Jeongguk was accompanying him so he was sure none of his family members would act out. They have a reputation to uphold, after all, and the Kims have maintained that perfect family image for years now. Even when their youngest was kicked out of the house.

Taehyung doesn’t expect a miracle. He knows that there is no chance of his family life going back to the way it was, no matter how much he’s hoped that his father would eventually cave in after a few months of being apart. But as the years passed by and the bond between him and his father slowly weakened he knew there was no coming back from this. 

Gone is the Taehyung who believed there would come a day when they’d all find themselves in their living room, sprawled across the furniture, laughing at a joke his brother made after eating a home cooked meal like they used to. All he wants now is for his family to hold it together until his grandmother is alive.

“We’re here,” the driver announces, staring at him through the rear-view mirror. Taehyung blinks at him for a second, completely forgetting where he is. 

“Oh, thank you,” he mumbles through the mask, smiling even though the other can’t see him. “Can I pay with card?” The driver nods, accepting the piece of plastic for a quick transaction before unlocking the car and speeding off. 

Taehyung takes a few deep breaths as he presses the intercom button next to the huge gate. It’s going to be alright, he reassures himself, curbing the urge to run far away from this evening. You’re seeing your halmeoni soon.

He steps onto the pathway once the gate opens, the crunch of the gravel underneath the shoes periodically disrupting the quiet of the night. Taehyung is somewhat excited about tonight. He’s excited to have dinner with his family after years. No pretend fiance’s and untrue stories of love and proposals. Just him and the people he grew up with. 

Maybe he’s being too pessimistic, mistaking his anticipation for a sign of ill luck. Maybe his father will be in a good mood today and might actually ask him a thing or two about his album. 

Hopefully.

He rings the doorbell and not even a second later it’s opened by their butler whom Taehyung has known since he gained consciousness. 

“Hajoon-ssi!” he squeals the moment their eyes meet, lips lifting up into a wide smile. It’s been years since the last time they saw each other and the butler too looks immensely happy to see him, with how quickly he’s embraced.

“Taehyung-ah! How have you been?” he asks, giving his body a squeeze before separating. A tall, thin man with slowly greying hair and a gentle smile. Taehyung has always loved him, even when he was a little kid. 

They exchange polite greetings while he takes Taehyung’s coat. He sees his mother walking towards him with a smile, arms already open for a hug. “Hello, my sweetheart.”

Taehyung hugs her petite body back, inhaling the familiar fruity perfume she’s worn for years. “Hi eomma. I hope I’m not late.” Her expensive dress feels scratchy against his sweaty palms. 

She shakes her head after pulling away. “Not at all. Hajoon-ssi was just telling me that dinner is almost ready.”

“That’s right. I’ll start setting the table.” Hajoon pats Taehyung’s shoulder affectionately. “It’s nice to have you back, Taehyung.”

The singer gives him a sweet smile as he leaves before turning to his mother. “Is everyone here already?” he asks, taking off his shoes and donning his old house slippers that he still can find in their shoe rack. The thought makes him smile. 

“Minji unfortunately couldn’t make it tonight. She’s leaving for Japan for some business tomorrow and has an early flight,” his mother informs him, an apologetic smile on her face. “She really wishes she could be here though.”

Taehyung nods understandingly. “That’s alright. I’m sad that I won’t be able to meet her but I get it. At least Taeho is here.”

She looks hesitant before speaking again, which catches his attention. His mother is mostly never unsure of herself. “Your father— he,” she pauses, licking her lips. “Your father might be a bit late today.”

Taehyung raises his eyebrows before letting out a scoff. “Of course,” he shakes his head, disappointed in himself for even hoping. “You mean he isn’t coming.”

His mother sighs. “That’s not what I said, Taehyungie. Your father called earlier and said that work is holding him back so he might be coming home later than expected.”

Taehyung chuckles coldly in reply. Surely his mother doesn’t expect him to believe this flimsy ass excuse, does she? Of course his father will choose to avoid facing or speaking to him after what happened. He hasn’t for the past three years, not even a call or text on his birthday so why would anything change now? Taehyung doesn’t know who he’s more mad at; his father for giving this cowardly flimsy excuse or himself for actually looking forward to talking to him after years without the need to pretend.

“It doesn’t matter,” he waves it off, trying to get rid of the heaviness in his chest. “Where’s halemoni?”

“I knew I heard my baby bear’s voice,” he hears his favourite voice in the world speak from the top of the stairs and the world around him instantly brightens. “I’m right here, my Taehyung-ah.”

He turns to look at her and the smile on his face immediately dims out. His grandmother smiles at him, looking as frail as glass as she descends with a cane in her hand.

A cane. A fucking cane that he’d never imagined her using. His grandmother, who walked 2 kilometres every single morning despite her age, who never broke a sweat while climbing the stairs, using a cane. 

Taehyung feels sick, as if he’s about to throw up even on an empty stomach. 

“Now don’t give me that look,” he hears her say with a roll of eyes, as if she read his mind. “It’s just something that helps me walk faster. No one should have to wait for a wobbly 84-year-old now, should they?”

No matter how much his grandmother tries to make him feel better, Taehyung knows it’s useless. The fact remains that her health is deteriorating drastically and her body is slowly shutting down. Soon, she might have to resort to being in a wheelchair and although he’s glad that his grandmother has so many means to help her, he just can’t seem to be able to deal with seeing her like this. 

He tries to laugh it off, albeit it’s of no use. He can see the sorrow in his mother’s eyes as she stares at him. “I’m not giving you any look,” he forces a grin. “I’m kinda loving this new accessory, to be honest.”

The cane is black and lifeless. Taehyung despises it. 

His grandmother matches his grin as she slowly descends down the stairs. “See, Yeri-ah? I told you my Taehyungie would always support me.” She laughs when her daughter in law rolls her eyes. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to visit the toilet before dinner.”

He sees her walk towards the guest toilet downstairs and shakes his head. “Eomma, why didn’t you tell me her health is worsening this quickly?”

Yeri gives him the same sorrowful look as before. “Eomma told me not to worry you.” Taehyung’s about to protest but she silences him by placing a hand on his shoulder. “My baby, there’s nothing you can do about this, you hear me? It saddens me to no end that we have to watch her suffer but all of our hands are tied, hers included.” 

Taehyung tries to gulp down the lump in his throat. “Will you at least update me on her condition after dinner?”

He watches her eyes moisten at his weak tone. “Of course, my darling,” she reassures him by placing a kiss on his forehead. “Taeho is in the living room waiting for you. I’ll go check up on dinner in the meantime, hmm?”

Taehyung nods, taking a deep breath before walking to their living room where Taeho is currently on the phone with someone, his eyebrows knitted. “What do you mean he cancelled tomorrow’s meeting?” he almost yells, face tinted red. Taehyung winces at the visual. “Did you not mention the urgency?” He clicks his tongue at whatever reply he receives and Taehyung tries to imagine himself being on the phone instead of Taeho. Wearing a plain suit and tie that you didn’t get to change out of because of how busy you are, face red because your assistant isn’t competent enough and your clients are testing every last bit of your patience. 

Taehyung would rather die than live a life like this, if he’s being honest.

His brother spots him waiting for him to end the call and it warms his heart seeing his eyes light up as they fall on him. He and Taeho might’ve grown apart after everything that happened but he knows that no matter what, they love each other immensely. 

Taeho’s smile lasts a nanosecond before he’s back to scowling at his poor assistant. “I need you to fix this mess by midnight, do you understand?” he barks into the phone before disconnecting, not even waiting for a reply. Taehyung sees him let out a breath before he gives him a hug. “Hey, Taehyung.”

“Hey, hyung,” he wraps his arms around his broad shoulders, a family trait. “Is work keeping you busy?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” he lets out a sigh. “I’m going crazy over here, it’s all so messed up.”

Taehyung pats his back sympathetically before moving back. “How’s Minji and the little champ doing?”

A fond smile appears on his exhausted face. “They’re doing just fine. We’re thinking of starting daycare for Heechan next year.”

Taehyung gasps. “He’s growing up so fast.” He can still remember the moment he held his baby nephew for the first time like it was yesterday.

“Tell me about it,” his brother chuckles. “Minji and I can barely keep up with him.” 

Taehyung thinks about how his life would be, coming home to a loving husband and baby after an exhausting day at work. Snuggling on the couch with a movie, finally settling down and all of that. No matter how different his life is from his brother, he too has dreamed of the family Taeho now has. With how things are going for him now, he might never get to have it.

Taeho interrupts his thoughts. “Minji was really upset she couldn’t be here tonight,” he smiles. “She misses you.”

Even though they didn’t spend much time together before Taehyung left home, he still managed to form a good bond with his sister-in-law who matched his personality really well. “She’s so sweet. Tell her I miss her too and that I’ll definitely find some time to see her soon.”

“Taeho, Taehyung,” he hears Hajoon call out to them. “The dinner is ready.”

Taehyung smells the food before he sees it. Pots and pans full of delicious smelling soup, bread, rice, kimchi and spiced meat are laid on the table and he can feel his mouth watering as he takes his usual seat next to his grandmother. His leg bounces impatiently while their helpers serve them, having to stop himself from attacking his full plate before everyone’s plates are ready.

They all dig in after thanking the chefs and the staff, humming and moaning in appreciation of the taste. Taehyung forgets his table manners as he almost holds his bowl with his two hands to gulp every drop of soup down, uncaring how it’s almost burning his throat. The first course passes by without much conversation, the family too busy inhaling the appetisers than preferring to converse. 

Only when their second course starts getting served does his mother turn to ask him, “I saw on the news that day that you’re releasing your album in September, is that true?”

Before Taehyung can open his mouth to answer, the doorbell rings. Dread starts filling him at the mere sound, already knowing who’s at the door. “I told you he’ll be here,” his mother smiles at him seconds before his dad enters the room, looking exhausted and utterly pissed out of his mind in his rumpled shirt and pants. 

Taehyung watches his father strut into the room with heavy strides, maintaining eye contact with no one as he takes his seat. His mouth is set in a thin line and judging by the tightness in his posture, he did not have a good day. He loosens his tie and beckons Hajoon to start serving him, all the while the rest of the family members give each other questioning looks.

Is he just going to pretend Taehyung isn’t sitting there?

“Seojun,” his grandmother says, trying to get his attention while he eats a spoonful of soup. Slight annoyance laces her tone. “Seojun-ah, Taehyung is here.”

Taehyung’s dad looks up from his soup to glance at him for less than a second before returning to his soup with only a hum in reply.

The singer’s heart pinches in his chest. He knew his father wasn’t too enthusiastic to meet him but couldn’t he at least say hello?

He gulps, hesitant. “Hello, appa,” he greets and watches his father’s hand grip the spoon tighter. Taehyung’s hand does the same thing. “How was work?” 

The rest of the table share glances between the two while he awaits a response. Seojun looks up and gives him a nod. “Fine,” he replies curtly but Taehyung will take it. Something is better than nothing, he supposes.

He’s suddenly reminded of the hours he used to spend in his father’s study, listening to him talking about how his day went at the company and how he managed it all in immense fascination. His father wasn’t much of a talker but he was always passionate while speaking about his first child, his company and even though Taehyung wasn’t the least bit interested in anything business related, he would always look forward to their daily rundowns every night before sleeping.

A lump lodges itself in his throat as he cuts the meat on his plate. 

Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it, stop—

“Taehyung?” his grandmother calls, causing him to raise his head. “You were saying something about your album earlier?”

“Ah yes,” he replies, clearing his throat when his voice sounds clogged. “I’m planning to release my album in September and I already finished writing three songs.”

Pride seeps into his body when his family cheers and claps, genuine happiness on their faces. With the exception of his father, of course, who chooses to eat his soup in silence instead. 

“That’s really nice to hear, Taehyung,” his brother says sweetly, giving him a genuine smile. “I can’t wait to hear it.”

His mother nods in agreement. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this day, baby,” she too smiles, her eyes a bit moist. 

“Why are you releasing it so soon, sweetheart?” his grandmother asks from beside him, running a hand through his hair. “What’s the rush?”

He turns to her. “I just— I want everyone to be there, celebrating my album.” He squeezes her hand on her lap. “Including you, halmeoni. You need to be there, cheering me on.”

He sees his grandmother’s eyes tear up as she nods. “I’ll always be cheering for you, my baby bear.” She turns to everyone. “And so will everyone else. Right?” She surveys a gaze across the table and Taehyung’s heart swells seeing his mother and brother nod immediately.

His father, who bothered to look up from his bowl, gave no response. Not like Taehyung anticipated him to. He’s learnt to expect nothing from his father, especially when it comes to his career. He doesn’t understand why his father is so against him doing something he loves, especially when he’s doing it all on his own and putting his everything into it but he doesn’t really care anymore. No use crying over broken glass.

“Seojun—” his mother starts but Taehyung just shakes his head at her. There’s no point in demanding for a reaction when the older refuses to give one. His mother purses his lips in disappointment, at him or his father he doesn’t know, but doesn’t say anything further. 

“Did you tell Jeongguk about releasing the album?” his grandmother asks, clearly trying to change the tense atmosphere settled in the dining room. 

Taehyung puts on a smile, getting into his acting shoes quite easily after weeks of practice. “Of course, halmeoni. He was the first person I told after Seokjin and Yoongi hyung.” It’s not really a lie, since he doesn’t possess many friends to share the news with. 

His mother grins. “And? How many songs on the album are about him?” She wiggles her eyebrows teasingly, heating his face up. 

“None of them!” he laughs. “I’m not that much of a sap.”

His grandmother clicks her tongue. “Nonsense! I’m sure all of them are you singing about how lovesick you are for him,” she giggles, worsening the blush on his face. “I’m right, given how red you’ve become, am I not?”

“My face is red because you guys are embarrassing me,” he rolls his eyes but a smile makes its way on his face. 

Taeho laughs at his predicament. “You deserve this and more for everything you put me through when I got engaged to Minji.”

“Yeah, but you were acting like a teenager in love whenever someone mentioned her,” he retorts, sticking out his tongue. “You still do, to be honest.”

Taehyung is proven right immediately as a blush creeps on his brother’s cheeks even before he can finish his sentence. It’s obvious that Taeho loves his wife dearly and even after all these years of marriage acts like a lovesick fool about her. Jealousy twinges in Taehyung’s chest. Oh, how he craves to be loved like that.

Both the ladies in the room laugh at Taeho’s reaction. “Ah, how I still remember Taeho and Minji’s wedding day so vividly,” his mother reminisces with a dreamy look on his face. 

Taehyung remembers every single detail of that day too. With over 1000 guests including high-profile businessmen and celebrities from all over the world, food made from the finest chefs, and a venue decorated so beautifully that everyone still talks about it to this date, the Kim-Han wedding was a spectacle that not many people have forgotten about. One still mentioned in articles to this date as a wedding to top the standards. 

Taehyung only remembers it as the last function they all attended as a happy family before everything went to shit. 

“Me too,” he hears his grandmother agree. “It was one of the happiest days of my life.” There’s a certain edge of melancholy to her tone as if she too was thinking about how different their lives were during that time. But then she snaps out of it and turns to him with a smile. “I truly hope Taehyung and Jeongguk’s wedding will be the same.”

Guilt pierces through Taehyung’s heart, reminding him that not only is there no chance of a wedding between the two of them, but also his grandmother won’t be here to witness his real wedding either. His stomach twists and he suddenly feels too sick, even though he barely ate his meat. 

He tries to laugh it off, trying to ignore the nausea swirling inside of him. “Halmeoni, our wedding won’t be for years! Aren’t you thinking a bit too far ahead?”

She laughs in reply, gesturing to his mother. “Tell that to your mother who already decided on what she’s wearing on the day.”

His eyes widen as they lay on her. “Eomma!” he scolds, enjoying the slight guilt on her face. “We’re too young to get married.”

Yeri glares at him playfully. “There’s no harm in planning, is there?” Taehyung giggles. 

The distinct sound of a chair scraping echoes in the room, bursting the happy bubble they had immersed themselves in. Taehyung’s father stands up from his chair, wiping his mouth with his napkin and setting it on the table. His expression is harder than before and Taehyung’s stomach drops to the bottom of his feet. 

“Seojun-ah, what’s wrong?” his grandmother asks even though it’s rather obvious to Taehyung what the problem is. 

“I’m retiring to my room. I’ve had enough,” he replies coldly and Taehyung can feel the familiar prickly sensation behind his eyelids. 

Enough of the food or me, appa?

“You don’t have to leave if you’re full. Should I call someone to take your plate? So you can still sit here and talk.”

“There is no need,” he says curtly, smoothing his wrinkled shirt. “I’d rather sleep.”

Taehyung’s fists clench under the table. A part of him knew something like this would happen but he didn’t want to believe it. He prays his father just leaves them alone without worsening the situation, no matter how much it pains him to say it.

He shares a knowing glance with Taeho, who has also caught onto the atmosphere.

“But Taehyung is here after so long,” his mother argues, tone irritated. He wishes to tell her that his father couldn’t give less of a fuck about him, but holds himself back. “Sit down and have a conversation with him.” Her tone is stern, borderline threatening but her husband pays it no heed.

He lets out a mocking scoff. “About what? Should I talk about his stupid hobbies or his marriage with another man?” he spits out, voice full of disgust.

Bile rises in Taehyung’s throat as he clenches his fists harder, knuckles turning white. 

Stupid hobbies. Marriage with another man. 

Taehyung still remembers the day it all went wrong. Voices raised, harsh words thrown around, clothes being shoved into a suitcase. The tears in his mother’s eyes and the guilt on his brother’s face. The sound of his heart smashing into pieces drowned by the thud of the taxi door closing. 

The last teary-eyed look as he drove away from everything he’d known and loved, his home.

The memories flash through his head painfully, crushing his windpipe and twisting his heart. “Appa,” he chokes out, anger replacing the sorrow in his chest. “What have I done so wrong for you to treat me this way?” He too, stands up from his chair, fiery gaze meeting his father’s. This isn’t going to end well. “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

His father looks at him in disbelief. “Happy for you? How can I be happy knowing you’re marrying a criminal?”

Taehyung gapes back at him. “Jeongguk isn’t a criminal, what are you talking about?” 

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know about his arrest, given how he beat up your ex-boyfriend out of all people. How could you even date someone like him after that is beyond me.”

“That was just one time! It doesn’t make him a criminal.” his fists ball at his sides and he sees red.

“Are you hearing yourself, Taehyung? Falling in love with someone as violent as your fiance who was arrested and locked up overnight for assault and misbehaviour under the influence. Is that truly who you want to spend the rest of your life with?” his father spits out, the venom in his words burning Taehyung’s skin.

“You know nothing about him!” he yells, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. Fuck. “You have no idea how sweet, kind and wonderful Jeongguk is. Not just as my fiance but also as an individual. Did you even bother to know what happened that night, aside from all the gossip blogs you’ve read? The only reason he beat Leehan was because he saw him harassing a drunk girl at a club.” Silence reigns in the room and even his father looks a little stunned before his face becomes expressionless once more. Taehyung sighs, defeated. “You would know how genuine Jeongguk is if you had spent even one minute of that evening getting to know him. But you didn’t, because you’re so full of prejudice. You don’t care about him, and you don’t care about me either.”

Another chair scrapes but Taehyung’s attention is too focused on his father to see who it is.

A tear spills from his eye. “All you care about is your perfect life and your perfect image and nothing else. It doesn’t matter that you're breaking this family apart on the inside, not if it means you still get to keep your perfect family appearance intact!”

“I’m the one tearing this family apart?” Taehyung sees his eyebrows knit and his face redden from anger. “You’re the one who fucked everything up, Taehyung! Everything was going perfectly; you had a promising career and a huge successful business ready on a platter for you but you just had to be the black sheep of the family didn’t you? Look at your brother,” he points to Taeho, who’s looking at the scene stressfully. Guilt settles on his face when he predicts what his father is saying next. “Look at your brother, about to become the CEO of a business empire, married to such a beautiful and smart woman with a lovely child of his own. This is what was waiting for you, Taehyung, if you weren’t too much of an idiot to refuse it!”

Refuse it? 

How does this man still not get it? 

“But what if it’s not what I want?” he screams out, more frustrated tears gathering in his eyes. Why can’t his father just listen to him for once? All the things he’d kept buried inside of him for years spill out of him uncontrollably but he doesn’t think it’s of any use. His father seems to be hellbent on showing him how much of a failure he is to him and fuck, if it doesn’t hurt. 

“This– this life you just described it’s not what I want, it’s what you want for me! If you would’ve paid even a little bit of attention to me you would’ve noticed how glued I was to the piano late at night, how many records I owned, how I spent all my teenage years trying to learn and recreate any dance choreo I could find. You would’ve seen that I was actually planning and trying so hard to build a life that I’d been dreaming of for years now. But you were too busy thrusting me into a life I never cared about.”

Taehyung’s father clicks his tongue. “It’s always been about you, Taehyung. Your passion, your interests, your disgusting love life. Not once did you think how your choices would affect us, did you?” He lets out a mocking chuckle. “You think you’re doing us a huge favour by coming back into our lives with that criminal fiance of yours? You’re wrong. We’re trying to slowly move on but you won’t let it happen because you’ve realised that you are nothing without us. You’re nothing but a selfish man, Taehyung and you don’t even realise it.”

The words hit Taehyung’s face like harsh slaps, their weight crashing down on him, making it difficult to breathe. Was what his father said…true? Has he truly been so blind to his own selfishness? Is he truly nothing without his family’s name backing him up?

“Seojun!” his grandmother screams with much effort, sounding a little out of breath. “Stop this right now!”

The world around Taehyung starts swaying as the guilt inside of him intensifies tenfold. His vision blurs and he can barely intercept what’s going on around him, his father’s words ringing in his head like a curse. 

“If you truly cared about us and this family’s image, you would’ve never left this house to dress up in those ghastly clothes and makeup. You would’ve never chosen to do disgusting things with men and I would’ve never had to deal with the fact that in the end, my son chose to be a fucking faggot over his family.”

Taehyung’s ears start ringing as he absorbs the words. He takes a step back using the last bit of strength left in his body.

My son chose to be a fucking faggot over his family.

Waves of sorrow wash over him, leaving him struggling to breathe as the tears finally fall. He feels his chest sliced open and his heart crashing onto the marble floor, leaving him feeling hollow. He tries to let out a cry but he can’t, his mouth opening but no sound coming out.

“Seojun, that’s enough!” His mother’s voice sounds muffled as Taehyung stands frozen in his place, tears dripping down his cheeks in a steady stream and his mouth slightly agape. A hand rests on his shoulder, squeezing in reassurance. He feels his legs giving up on him as his mother yells again. “How dare you speak to our son like that—”

“Halmeoni?” Taeho’s panicked voice pierces through the haze. “Halmeoni, are you okay?”

Taehyung breaks out of his melancholic daze at the sound of his voice. 

“Eomma?” Taehyung’s father booms, slippers slapping on the ground as someone starts running. 

“Eomonim! Taeho, call an ambulance right now!”

Taehyung harshly rubs the tears out of his eyes to see what’s going on when he hears the thud of his grandmother’s body falling to the floor.

♬♬♬

Taehyung isn’t really fond of hospitals. Even when he was deathly sick and bedridden as a child he would avoid it at all costs until his parents either called a home-call doctor or took him there while he was asleep, completely against his will.

So he doesn’t understand how he finds himself in one for the second time in the past three months.

The scene at the moment is eerily similar to the last time he was here. The Kims are scattered across the VIP waiting room assigned to them this time, no guards needed. Taehyung’s parents are sitting far apart from each other, his father’s eyes trained on the floor while his mother tiredly rests her head against the wall. Taeho is on the phone again, only this time he’s talking to Minji and informing her of the situation. He tries to convince her not to come here since she has to leave for Japan in a few hours but it seems like she isn’t listening, resulting in a tense conversation that already adds to the ambience.  

The tension in the room is palpable. Taehyung’s eyes are still red and swollen but at least his father’s words from earlier have stopped repeating in his head. His mother hasn’t spoken a word with her husband their entire ride here, only breaking her silence to let him know his mother had been admitted into the emergency room while he completed some formalities.

Taeho finishes his call and takes a seat next to him. He too can’t seem to meet his eyes, especially after his father compared his life to Taehyung’s. Taehyung doesn’t hold it against him; it’s not his fault he turned out to be the perfect child his father always wanted. It’s not his fault Taehyung is such a disappointment to his family either. 

The four members sit in the room in complete silence as they await the doctor’s diagnosis. The ticking clock is a reminder of how much time has passed since they’ve been here, each menacing click twisting Taehyung’s insides further. 

The sound of the door opening causes all their heads to snap upwards. His halemoni’s oncologist looks as exhausted as they are when he steps inside and shuts the door. All the members bow in greeting before staring at him in nerve-wracking anticipation. “Eunjoon-ssi’s condition is stable now,” he announces and the entire Kim family lets out a collective sigh of relief. Taehyung feels like he hasn’t breathed in forever. 

“Her body seems to have taken a lot of stress and owing to her already low RBC and platelet count, she couldn’t handle it,” Dr. Kang continues, lips pursed. “I would recommend keeping her under observation for the rest of the night in case something goes amiss.” He scans the members’ faces, seemingly hesitant to open his mouth again. “Look, I understand that this time is easy for no family. But I would request you all to maintain a happy atmosphere around Eunjoon-ssi so her body doesn’t take more stress than needed. Her health is very delicate right now and she’s not receiving any major treatment so keeping her happy and worry-less is our only option.”

Taehyung almost sends a glare towards his father. If he could’ve just maintained the peace for one dinner, this wouldn’t have happened. But he holds himself back out of fear of sparking a new fight.

All of them nod dutifully in reply. “Thank you for your help, Dr. Kang,” his father says and the doctor bows goodbye before he leaves.

The Kims slump into their seats with identical tired sighs. Taehyung feels like he hasn’t slept for days and fatigue overtakes him. 

“Taeho-ah,” he hears his mother say, “Isn’t Minji leaving for the airport soon? You should be there with her, baby.”

Taeho shakes his head. “I’ve already let her know that I won’t be home so soon and that she should call our nanny before she leaves.”

“There’s no need for all of that,” his mother chides him gently. “Why should you bother that poor nanny at this time of the night? Go home, okay? Halmeoni is going to be perfectly fine and there’s not much you can do right now.”

“And you have that meeting with Cho tomorrow morning,” his father butts in, ignoring the dirty look his wife throws him. “You should rest up and prepare for it.”

Taeho looks at the three of them with uncertainty. “Are— are you sure? Because I can stay here all night.”

Their mother shakes her head. “We’ll call you if we need anything, hmm?”

Taeho nods, standing up from his seat. He looks a little relieved and Taehyung can’t blame him. He flashes him a tired smile before he bows to his parents. “Let me know if I’m needed,” he says before shutting the door behind him.

His father stands up too, muttering something about ‘discussing the agenda’ before he leaves abruptly. Even without his presence, there’s a tightness to the air that sucks all of the life and happiness out of the room.

Taehyung and his mother sit in silence for a moment before she speaks. “Sweetheart…” she starts, her tone soft and hesitant. He already knows what’s about to come. “About what your father said earlier—”

“Eomma,” he interrupts with a sigh, “I have no intention of talking about it, at least not at the moment.” He rubs his eyes harshly and they burn even more. “I’m exhausted, honestly and it’s not like I had no idea of what he feels about me. What he said today was basically just a confirmation.” He ends with a shrug.

Guilt takes over his mother’s face and he despises it. She should not be the one who bears the burden of his father’s thoughts and actions. “But still he—”

“Please,” he says again, eyes prickly once more. “Not now, hmm? I’m not in the right headspace.” His voice cracks at the end of the statement and he closes his eyes. 

The sound of footsteps approaching can be heard and soon after he feels lips pressed to his forehead. “I’m just really sorry, my baby,” his mother says, clearly on the verge of tears. Taehyung wants to sob in her arms for hours. “Would you like some hot chocolate?”

He opens his eyes to give her a smile and a nod. “I would love that.”

She presses another kiss in his hair before leaving him alone in the small waiting room. Taehyung checks his phone after hours to a few notifications from Seokjin, Jimin, one of his choreographers and Jeongguk. He clears all of them without a second thought, not in the right mind to reply. He notices that his phone only has a 17% charge and groans. He left his wallet and little bag with the charger in it at his parent’s place while rushing to the hospital and he doesn’t think his phone will last until morning.

He stands up from his chair. Surely someone in this huge hospital has a charger he can borrow. 

Taehyung starts walking towards the door when it opens by itself and his father steps inside, looking like he aged 10 years during that agenda discussion with his brother. He looks up at him standing in the middle of the room and scoffs. “You’re still here?”

Taehyung’s eyebrow raises. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

His father doesn’t move away from the closed door either, staring at him with a disdainful expression. “You should leave,” he says, crossing his arms. “You’ve done enough.”

Taehyung’s mouth falls open in disbelief. He blinks a couple of times because surely his father didn’t just say that. “Are you—” he takes a couple of breaths to stop himself from exploding, “are you seriously blaming me for all this?”

When his father doesn’t reply, choosing to stare at him in silence instead, he scoffs out loudly. Taehyung isn’t holding himself back. “You’re fucking unbelieveable, appa. There is no way you think I was the cause of halmeoni’s critical condition when you’re the one who started the argument in the first place.”

“I did nothing of such sort,” his father retorts, narrowing his eyes. “You were the one who asked me why I couldn’t be happy for you even when you knew the answer and started this all.”

Taehyung laughs coldly. “So what you’re saying is, I should’ve shut my mouth and let you believe that shit about me and my fiance for the rest of our lives? I should’ve let you call me such disgusting names when I don’t deserve an ounce of such treatment from you?”

His father clicks his tongue. “You’re a stubborn brat who does not understand simple words said to him. I am not wasting my breath on you, especially knowing you’re beyond repair.”

The implication that Taehyung is broken in the first place makes frustration rise in his body all over again. “Why do you keep insinuating there’s something wrong with me?” he shouts, uncaring that they’re in a public place at the moment. The VIP room might be far away from everything else but it’s surely not soundproof. 

But he doesn’t care anymore. It’s been years of belittling and convincing himself that he was the cause of his family’s problems, that if he could’ve just been born normal, all of his pain and anguish could’ve been avoided. But over the years he’s learnt that there are some things you just cannot control in your life and who you love is one of them. It was never his fault.

“Isn’t there?” his father sneers. “You’re telling me it’s completely normal that you are engaged to a man? That you claim to wish to spend the rest of your lives doing such despicable things?”

“Despicable things? I love him, appa. I want to spend the rest of my life with him because I love and cherish him. It’s the same with you and eomma, and Taeho and Minji. What part of that do you not understand?”

Even if he might not love Jeongguk and won’t end up marrying him, he knows this discussion is needed. His father’s problem isn’t with Jeongguk in particular but with the fact that Taehyung has romantic feelings for men only. That he can’t just marry him off to a daughter of some industrial giant to expand his empire just like he did with Taeho. That he can’t force him to run his company after he retires. 

That he can’t control him.

“Do not utter my name in such context,” he almost spits out in disgust. “I already told you to leave if you continue such behaviour. What else do you want from me?”

A loving father. A happy family. His old life.

“You don’t get it,” Taehyung breathes out, defeated. “Not only are you a terrible father, you’re also tearing this family apart. Your horrible, narrow thinking is not only causing me problems but is also affecting the entire family.”

He sees his father’s hands shake before they curl into fists. Clearly, Taehyung struck a nerve and he’s glad. “How dare you speak to me this way?” his voice booms around the room, “Is this how I’ve raised you? Look at Taeho, the epitome of a perfect son. What did I do so differently with you that you turned out like this?”

Taehyung laughs menacingly, taking a step towards him. They are directly face to face now, him an inch or two taller than his father. “Epitome of a perfect son? Taeho has become your puppet, appa. He doesn’t have any other hobbies or a life other than the company. Have you even bothered to notice how exhausted he looks at all times? How stressed he seems whenever he’s talking about work? No, of course not. All you care about is that you’re moulding him into another version of you, fit to take over the company when you retire. He’s not the perfect son because he’s straight, appa. He’s the perfect son because he lets you control him.”

His father doesn’t have a reply to that, his face getting visibly redder with each word Taehyung spits out. His eyebrows are tightly knit and his chest heaves with how fast he’s breathing. Taehyung has never seen him this enraged before, to the point where he looks like he might just snap at any second. 

“Look at us, appa,” Taehyung says, voice trembling with rage, “Taeho’s hair has started greying even before he’s reached 30, halemoni is lying unconscious in the ICU right now and eomma bears the guilty burdens of the pain you inflict on us.” He shakes his head, gaze never moving away. “You’re not only a terrible father but also a horrible son and husband.”

It happens in a split second. Where Taehyung’s father snaps. 

He hears the sharp sound of a hand connecting with his cheek before he feels it. The shock of his father slapping him doesn’t really register with him until he sees a drop of blood fall on his pristine white shoe, staining it red immediately. 

Taehyung sees his father pull his arm back slowly as he touches his cheek, hissing at the heat emanating from the flesh from the impact. 

Tears involuntarily fill his eyes the moment the initial shock subsides and the realisation that his father fucking slapped him at the age of 23 dawns on him. He opens his mouth to scream, to yell, to demand him to apologise but nothing comes out and he’s stuck frozen to the ground, the cut on his lip starting to burn.

“Get out of here,” his father breathes out, clearly seconds away from exploding. “Get the fuck out of here right now and do not show me your face ever again, do you understand?”

Taehyung wants to refuse. He wants to tell his father that he doesn’t control him anymore, that he’s in no obligation to listen to his orders. That he will not just leave after he’s been slapped until he gets an apology. But nothing comes out, not even a squeak of protest, and all he can do is silently grab his mask and cap resting on one of the chairs and walk out of the room.

Taehyung’s vision gets blurry with each passing second and he has no idea where he’s headed to as he dons his cap and mask to protect his privacy.

What privacy? He just wants to prevent everybody from seeing how much of a pathetic loser he is. Someone with no father, no intact family and no respect.

He spots a small door leading to what seems to be an emergency exit, opening to a small alleyway at the back of the hospital. It’s deathly quiet at this time of the night and there’s a distinct stench of expired chemicals along with piss present but Taehyung barely pays any of it attention as he walks through it, picking whatever path he sees and continuing along it.

Should I talk about his stupid hobbies or his marriage with another man?

You’re nothing but a selfish man, Taehyung and you don’t even realise it.

My son chose to be a fucking faggot over his family.

You’ve done enough.

I am not wasting my breath on you, especially knowing you’re beyond repair.

The words keep swirling in his head until they become a jumbled mess, the harsh sentences overlapping each other and sending his mind into a spiral. He can’t breathe or speak or stop the steady stream of tears that fall down his face and wet his mask. His lip stopped bleeding a while ago but the salty tears fall on the wound and he hisses sharply every time but makes no move to wipe them. Wiping them once won’t be enough. Nothing he ever did or will do will ever be enough. 

He will never be enough. 

Not for his family, for his father, for a future lover, for anyone. 

Is that it? Is Taehyung simply unlovable? Will this be his life? Trudging along a broken path in hopes for someone to accept him as is? How is that fair? What did he do to experience that?

He didn’t choose to like men in the same way straight people don’t choose to be straight. It’s just who Taehyung is. Something so simple shouldn’t earn him such alienation from one of the people who helped bring him into this world. 

All I want is for appa to care. To be loved like he loves Taeho.  

Taehyung’s shoes sink into soft mud, finally breaking him from his trance. He blinks a couple of times to get rid of the tears before looking around and realising he’s found himself in an unknown park of some kind. Tall trees and short bushes surround him, and a gravel path next to him that’s meant for walking.

Where the hell is he? 

His breath quickens and he takes his phone out, letting out a small gasp when he realises what time it is. 

3:00 a.m. Taehyung has been walking around aimlessly for the past two hours. No wonder his already-injured ankle is once again screaming in pain.

He sees a few missed calls and texts from his mother asking him about his whereabouts but he ignores them. His priority should be finding out where he is first, since the area the hospital nearest to his house isn’t in the city. He doesn’t recognise the park at all even though he’s lived in that neighbourhood for years which only means he’s come to a completely different part of Seoul that he’s never visited before.

Fuck.

Fear suddenly creeps up on him, worsening when he sees he only has 5% battery left. Should he just call a cab?

He clicks on the taxi app but finds no cars available at this hour, even after ten minutes of checking. The battery percentage drops two more percent and his hands shake as his brain racks up an idea.

Should he call his mother? He decides against it immediately. Calling his mother means involving his father and Taehyung isn’t sure if he really wants to see his face right now.

Yoongi or Jimin? No, since they’re on a couple’s trip in Daegu right now, visiting Yoongi’s parents. Taehyung doesn’t want to bother them. Not that they could be much help. 

Seokjin? Seokjin is in Seoul at the moment but should Taehyung really call him in the middle of the night to solve yet another one of his problems? He’s already been under a lot of stress lately due to Taehyung’s album preparation and one of his other clients being a recent PR nightmare. His eyes tear up again when he realises how much of a burden he is to everyone around him. 

Fuck, his father was right. He cannot do anything on his own. He’s useless. Pathetic. Nothing.

His fingers shake as they hover around his recent calls, only to land on speeding ticket. 

Jeongguk. Should he call him? He knows they’re friends now but that doesn’t mean he can call him anytime he wants. Jeongguk might be exhausted from his training and fast asleep right now. But his phone gives him a warning about his phone being on 1% and he realises his options are pretty low right now. 

Calling Jeongguk now would mean that Taehyung would have to explain how he got here, including his terrible family history. He knows the younger won’t pry if he doesn’t want to talk about it…but Taehyung does want to talk about it. He trusts Jeongguk enough and he has a feeling that out of all his friends, somehow the younger would understand him the most. Or, at the very least, be a good listener. 

So he dials his number without a second thought, praying to every being out there that he picks up.

Three, four, six rings later Jeongguk’s groggy voice fills the speaker. “Taehyung?” he asks, half asleep and tears of relief spring to his eyes. “Taehyung, do you know what time it is—”

“Jeongguk,” he interrupts him shakily, knowing his battery might die any second. His voice sounds clogged and watery from all the hours of crying non-stop and he knows Jeongguk realises this too because there’s sudden shuffling on the other line.

“Taehyung?” Jeongguk asks, his voice fully awake now, full of so much concern that he just melts. “Precious, what’s wrong?”

The nickname is what sets him off and he’s sobbing into the phone before he can stop himself. “Jeongguk,” he cries, unable to get proper words out. “I just— I didn’t know who else to call.”

“Hey, hey, what’s going on? Taehyung, where are you right now?”

“I—” he interrupts himself with a cough, breathing in gulps of air. “Something happened and I’m completely lost and there’s just no cabs available and my phone is dying and—”

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk interrupts his ramble, sounding like he’s trying hard to maintain his calm. “I’m a little confused right now but you said you’re lost, correct? And your phone battery is low?”

His voice is soft and soothing. Taehyung feels himself automatically getting calmer the longer he listens to Jeongguk speak. Like pouring sweet soft honey directly into his ears. Just what he needed. “Yes.”

“Okay,” he breathes out, “send me your live location right now, before your charge runs out,” he says with a sense of urgency, and Taehyung does as he’s instructed to with shaky fingers. He prays his phone stays alive for the next five minutes at least. It takes a few seconds to click the icon on his tear-stained phone and have the message go through to Jeongguk. 

“Alright, I’ve got your location. I’ve saved it on my phone in case yours dies but please don’t move from there, okay? Are you in a safe place right now?” he asks, voice so careful Taehyung can’t stop himself from letting out another sob.

He takes a quick look around. “Yes, I am at a park,” he answers in between his cries.

“Perfect. Just stay right there, okay? I’ll be there in—” The call drops mid-sentence and Taehyung taps on his phone repeatedly in despair to realise it’s finally given up on life.

Taehyung sniffs, wiping his tears away and tossing the useless thing onto the nearest flat surface. It’s fine. He’s fine. Jeongguk is going to be here soon.

A gust of chilly air rushes through the air, causing goosebumps to erupt all over Taehyung’s skin but he doesn’t pay much attention to it. He’s gone numb completely, spacing out while staring at a row of ants happily walking along the gravel without much thought. Must be nice.

He doesn’t know how much time passed or when he stopped crying. The singer finds himself on a nearby bench with his palms on his face, unmoving as he waits. How far did he walk from the hospital?

The crunching of the gravel path startles him and his head snaps up to a figure approaching him. Taehyung immediately stands on his feet, heart thudding erratically before the shiny, oh-so-familiar eyes appear in front of him. 

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk breathes out, sounding out of breath yet relieved and it’s the mere sight of him that brings Taehyung to tears once more. His messy hair, ruffled pyjamas, keys clutched in his hands, him.  

“Jeonggukie,” he cries out before running to him. Jeongguk’s welcoming arms embrace him the moment their bodies touch, holding him tightly. “Jeongguk,” he sobs in his neck, unable to say anything more, trying to find comfort in the way the racer rubs his back gently.

The scent of Jeongguk has grown to become a comfort to Taehyung, even when mixed with the salt of his tears. His arms are heavy around Taehyung, like a protective shield, and for the first time all night, Taehyung feels safe enough to cry.

Truly cry. About everything, the small bits, the overall, the in-between, and let Jeongguk’s skin absorb it all.

“I’m here,” he whispers softly, pressing a kiss on the side of his head. “I’m here now, Tae.”

♬♬♬

Taehyung doesn’t know he ended up sitting on Jeongguk’s lap with his head leaning on the juncture between his neck and shoulder, but he isn’t complaining.

He tries figuring out what exactly happened from the moment Jeongguk found him in the park upto this point but his mind is too exhausted to work out these unnecessary details. He can vaguely remember falling asleep in Jeongguk’s car before he could tell him the passcode to his building which led him to bring Taehyung to his penthouse instead. He also remembers the feeling of his body swaying gently, as if he was being carried, but he isn’t sure if that was just a dream.

The first thing he saw the moment he opened his eyes was the mole on Jeongguk’s neck. A tiny black dot on the honey coloured canvas. He curbs the irrational urge to press his lips on it.

“Are you awake, Tae?” he hears Jeongguk ask, who must’ve gotten alert by the older adjusting his body on his lap.

Taehyung hums, unable to meet his eyes even though he knows the other is looking at him. The position they’ve found themselves in is definitely inappropriate for their relationship. Taehyung is sprawled across Jeongguk’s lap sideways, head resting just above his collarbone and his feet stretched onto his bed. Jeongguk’s musky scent fully engulfs him, mixed with the floral scent of his detergent. It’s so comforting that it almost lulls Taehyung back to sleep. 

Normally he wouldn’t want to be caught dead all cuddled up like this but he can’t find it in himself to move away. He doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep or what time it is; judging by the darkness outside Jeongguk’s window he hasn’t slept much and his brain is still a foggy mess. All the crying and lack of sleep in these past hours have worn him down completely and all he wants to do is curl into Jeongguk’s chest further, absorbing all the warmth his firm body provides, and pretend like the world doesn’t exist for just a little longer. 

“I wanted to lay you down on the bed before going to the sofa to sleep but you didn’t let me so—” he stops himself, the awkwardness clear in his voice. Taehyung would’ve felt the exact same if his night hadn’t been so terrible. “Do you want me to move?”

The thought that all this comforting warmth would leave him makes Taehyung almost let out a whine but he stops himself. He curls his fingers around Jeongguk’s t-shirt when he feels him move instead, hoping he gets the hint. “What?” he hears him ask and God, is this man really going to make him say it out loud?

“Stay,” he whispers because he’s still half-asleep to feel any kind of embarrassment or to swallow down any pride and ask to stick around longer. He deserves a bit of comfort after everything that’s happened anyway. 

Jeongguk doesn’t reply but he doesn’t move away either, and after a moment’s hesitation the older feels arms envelop him from both sides. His heartbeat quickens as the racer pulls him impossibly closer to him. Warm, safe and comforted. Taehyung never wants to leave. He lets out a content sigh and the tension that built last night begins to evaporate even more.

“Are you— are you feeling better now?” Jeongguk asks him after a few minutes of silence. 

Taehyung simply hums again, knowing sooner or later he has to talk to him. Even though the younger insisted it’s alright if Taehyung doesn’t want to tell him about it, he knows he has to. Jeongguk deserves an explanation for driving across the city in the middle of the night to rescue him and honestly? Taehyung wants to get it off his chest as soon as possible.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” he hears him ask and his gentle tone clogs his throat once again.

“I don’t know where to start,” he replies, surprised at how rough and scratchy his voice sounds. He’s marvelled that his throat can even produce a sound with all the crying and screaming he’s done in one night.

“You told me you were supposed to have dinner with your family tonight,” Jeongguk suggests, resting his cheek on Taehyung’s hair. He feels his eyes close. “Maybe you can start there.”

Taehyung takes a moment to arrange his thoughts before taking a deep breath. He doesn’t want to miss a single detail. “There’s something you need to know about my family situation first,” he starts from the beginning. Jeongguk needs to know the backstory if he’s to understand the events that unfolded tonight. “I didn’t move away from home when I was 20, I was actually kicked out.” 

He feels Jeongguk’s sharp intake of breath but doesn’t wait for him to interject. Now that he’s started spilling everything he’s been holding back, he doesn’t want to stop until he’s finished.

As if someone is about to open a can of soda that’s been shaken a whole bunch, the words come pouring out of Taehyung.

“My appa and I didn’t always have a strained relationship. As a child, I always remember spending a lot of time with him even though we didn’t really have as many shared interests as he had with my brother. But as the years passed by and I started developing hobbies that weren’t in common with his plan for my life, things started falling apart between us.”

“It started with petty fights about how late I was staying outside, the friend circles I was involved in, the way I started dressing. The last few months before I left home, Taeho had started working as an intern at our company since my appa wanted to start showing him the ropes. He wanted the same for me so that we both could take over the company together when it was time for him to retire. He just— he never understood, or cared, rather that that was not what I wanted to do in life at all.”

It was exhausting having to look his already disappointed father in the face and disappoint him even further. But Taehyung refused to sacrifice his happiness just to fit inside the small box his father wanted him to live in for the rest of his life. 

“What started as small arguments turned into huge, drawn out fights where we ended up screaming and not talking to each other for weeks after. But the final straw was definitely this one party which we all attended as a family and my father caught me kissing my then boyfriend Leehan in the bathrooms.” He cringes at the memory, thinking of how stupid he was back then. Jeongguk stiffens a little at the drop of that particular name. “It was a dumb move, even for me. I’d never taken a risk like that before since I already had an inkling as to what my father felt about these things but—” he sighs. “It doesn’t matter. My father caught us and once we were home demanded that I stop this nonsense at once and break up with him. He kept saying that it was just a phase and I’ll grow out of it eventually, no matter how hard I was sobbing and begging him to understand. In the end, he just grew frustrated with my refusal and told me to get out of his house if I wanted to keep ruining my life like this. I packed my bags that very night and didn’t go back until our engagement dinner.”

Saying it out loud after years of keeping it in lifts a huge weight off Taehyung’s shoulders. Now it’s not just him stomaching the pain of being kicked away by the ones who love you the most. 

“Oh Tae,” Jeongguk says with genuine pain in his voice, “I’m so sorry this happened to you. You were just too young and I can’t even imagine—” he takes a deep breath. “You didn’t deserve this at all.”

Taehyung smiles at his words and buries himself more into his embrace. “Thank you. It was hard at first but I had Yoongi hyung to help me out. He introduced me to Seokjin hyung so I could hire him as my manager and life slowly started getting better. Halmeoni and I kept in contact almost every other day and I met eomma once a month. Taeho and I— we drifted apart more than I’d like to admit but I don’t hold that against him. He has a family and seeing him now he’s been drowning in work ever since he joined the company. I feel kinda bad for him, to be honest.”

Gone is the happy-go-lucky boy who only cared about football and video games. Now lies an overworked adult with dull eyes and a forced smile. 

Taehyung’s fingers trace swirling patterns on Jeongguk’s arms wrapped around him while the racer tries to absorb everything he’s just learnt. He almost wants to look up and see what expression is sitting on his face but after a couple of minutes, he speaks. “So, how did you end up in some random park miles away from your house?”

Taehyung giggles even though Jeongguk didn’t really ask it in a joking manner. “Well, that’s a long story too,” he says, finally looking up to meet his gaze and he’s glad he did. 

Jeongguk gives him a sweet smile, a million stars swimming in his eyes. “I’m all ears, Tae. You can tell me as many long stories as you’d like.”

Taehyung feels his heart speed up at his reassuring tone. All his life he’s just wanted someone to understand what wants, to listen to what he’s trying to say. Not just talk over and force something else on him, actually care about the shit he’s saying. Where has Jeongguk been all his life?

“Thank you,” he whispers, warmth spreading across his cheeks. 

Suddenly the eye contact feels too intense for him. Jeongguk’s eyes are like glittering pools of fresh starlight, hypnotising, and he looks away, resting his head on Jeongguk’s protruding collarbones. 

He starts narrating everything that happened tonight; from going to dinner at his family’s house, to joking around with his family until his father abruptly stood up during the topic of their wedding, how Taehyung completely lost it when his father called Jeongguk a criminal.

“You didn’t have to defend me,” Jeongguk says at that part, honey dripping from his voice. This time Taehyung actually blushes and he cannot for the life of him understand why. “I’ve been called worse names before.” He gives his body a gentle squeeze. “But I really do appreciate it.”

“Of course I’d defend you,” Taehyung waves it off as if it’s obvious. “You’re my fiancé according to my family but more than that, you’re my friend. I can’t let my father insult you like that, not when you weren’t at fault.”

Jeongguk doesn’t reply to that but Taehyung feels his lips stretch in his hair. He feels a small flip in his stomach, weird. 

He then proceeds to tell him about all the screaming and shouting they did, how his father called him a homophobic slur which led to his grandmother passing out. Tears blur his eyes once more and he’s just so tired of all the crying and the hurt that has made a home in his chest.

“What? He said what to you? And halmeoni’s in the hospital? What the fuck, Taehyung?”

Jeongguk’s tone turns panicky and Taehyung has to rub his hands on his arms in an attempt to calm him down. “Halemoni is fine now. We took her to the hospital and she’s stable now.” He sighs, a tear rolling down his cheeks, staining Jeongguk’s shirt. “And what my father said, it just hurt so much. It wasn’t just the word but the way he said it— he fucking loathes me, Jeongguk.” Tears have started freely falling now and Jeongguk cradles his head to his chest, rubbing his back to comfort him. “He thinks I’m disgusting and a big failure and he can’t stand the sight of me—”

“Hey, hey,” Jeongguk shushes him when he finds it difficult to breathe from all the tears clogging his throat. A hand comes to cup his cheek, slowly wiping the hot tears that continue to fall. “That is not true, okay? He might not want to understand you but that doesn’t mean you’re disgusting or a failure in any way, you hear me?” His voice is firm as if he needs Taehyung to believe him. “Those are his words, his beliefs, and they don’t define you. You’re a wonderful person, Tae. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” 

Taehyung sniffles. He doesn’t even want to admit this next part out loud but Jeongguk should know. It just tears from his throat, leaving new scars where the old ones were just barely beginning to heal.

“He fucking slapped me, Jeongguk,” he cries out, and feels the body next to him stiffen. “He told me I was selfish and slapped me when I said that he’s not only a bad father but a bad husband and son as well.”

“He did what ?” Jeongguk asks, his voice now octaves deeper, more intimidating. He places his finger under Taehyung’s chin and lifts his face to meet his gaze. Taehyung can almost see the fire burning in them, full of rage, expression hardening. He touches the cut on his lip with his thumb, flinching slightly when the older lets out a painful hiss.

“Shit, Taehyung. This…this isn’t fucking normal. It’s straight up assault and you have to report it—”

“No!” Taeyung interrupts him, shaking his head wildly. “I can’t fucking report him, Jeongguk. He’s my appa!”

“Your appa who called you homophobic slurs and hurt you!” he protests, visibly agitated. He cups Taehyung’s face and all he wants to do is lean into the touch.

But he and Jeongguk are friends, and friends don’t do that. So he just shakes his head once more. Pulling away from the warmth to meet the racer’s gaze. 

“Please try to understand. It’s not just about his reputation and our relationship but halmeoni isn’t doing well right now and I can’t give her any more reasons to feel pain because of me.” He closes his eyes and sighs. “And I know that this isn’t fair to me but all I care about right now is my halmeoni’s health. Everything else is secondary.”

The situation isn’t ideal but at the end of the day, Taehyung doesn’t want his grandmother to suffer anymore. So he’ll gladly deal with the aftermath. 

Jeongguk’s forehead rests against his and another tear slips out of Taehyung’s eyes. “I’m really sorry that you have no choice in this matter, Tae. A person like you doesn’t deserve this at all.”

A person like him? Selfish? Disgraceful? A burden?

Their breaths mingle and Taehyung feels fluttering in his abdomen. Jeongguk’s voice is silky and alluring. “You’re such a kind, caring person. Don’t let your father’s words get to you, hmm? You’re none of those things. Everyone around you is lucky to have you, including me.”

A sob escapes Taehyung’s throat. It’s as if Jeongguk read his mind and is now actively trying to comfort him and make him believe the opposite. Trying to heal the wounds he never made. 

“Your eomma, halmeoni and Taeho love you. Seokjin hyung and Yoongi hyung love you. Your label and most importantly, your fans love you.” A gentle kiss is placed on his forehead. Taehyung’s eyes flutter shut. His heart pounds harder than it ever has. “Please don’t let one person tear you down like this. You’re going to be more than fine, you understand?”

Taehyung sniffs, nodding slowly. He might not fully believe Jeongguk’s words; not when the words of his father still ring in his head like an incessant mantra but as he throws his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and arms hold his waist tight, he knows that he has someone in the world who understands him, probably more than anyone else can.

“Thank you, Jeongguk,” he whispers, face buried in his neck. He inhales the musk to calm him down. “I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused today.”

“You haven’t caused any trouble for me, Tae,” Jeongguk replies, carding his fingers through his unruly blonde locks. “I’ll always be here for you and I’ll do the same a hundred times more if needed. Just try not to wander in random gardens in the middle of the night, you almost gave me a heart attack.” 

Taehyung lets out a wet chuckle. Does he even deserve a friend like Jeongguk after all that’s happened?

It doesn’t matter for now, he decides, wrapping himself around his body like a koala. All that matters is that Jeongguk is here now, no matter what transpired between them in these past years, and he’s not letting go of him anytime soon.

Chapter Text

Taehyung has always believed in second chances. 

Even if something didn’t work out for him in the first try, he’ll be sure to give it another one. Some call him too full of hope and some call him stubborn, but he ignores them knowing that in the end he’ll achieve whatever he wants with a little perseverance. 

Which is why he finds himself walking along the hallways of the Ferrari Academy once again, trying not to think of what happened the last time he was here. He shakes his head at his past self’s dramatics and hopes that at least this time he won’t overhear an unpleasant conversation and misunderstand the person it’s directed towards. 

The red and black surroundings confuse him as he tries to navigate his way to Hoseok’s office. He doesn’t remember much from the last time he was here, given how nervous he was about finally having the talk with Jeongguk. He glances at the directions Namjoon sent him, including the password to enter the academy, and tries to follow them without looking like a headless chicken.

He heaves out a sigh of relief when he sees the familiar door he stood against the last time he was here and knocks, trying to calm his nerves. The door opens even before he pulls back his fist and he blinks at the suddenness. 

“Oh, hey there Taehyung,” Hoseok stares at him, surprise framing his features. “I didn’t expect to see you here today. Did Jeongguk call you?”

Taehyung gives him a sheepish smile, tucking his arm behind the arch of his back. “Not really. He doesn’t even know I’m here, to be honest.” He stares at the notebook in the trainer’s hands. “Is it a bad time?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “Not at all. I was just going to check up on Jeongguk’s training, actually.” He stops, grinning brighter than the sun. “Would you want to accompany me?”

Taehyung nods at him with a smile and they start walking towards the lift together. He fidgets with his fingers as they enter it. It’s not like he’s nervous but well, there isn’t another word close enough to describe how he feels.  “Is he— is Jeongguk doing fine? He hasn’t been replying to my texts for the past few days.”

Hoseok looks at him. “Ah, yes. He’s been a little stressed for next week’s Grand Prix and might be working too hard for it.” He smiles at him softly, lips forming a heart-shape. “It’s sweet that you’re worried about him, Taehyung.”

Warmth envelops Taehyung’s face and he shakes his head. “I’m not worried worried per se, it’s just well— he wasn’t replying to my messages or missed calls and we didn’t plan our next pretend date so—” he stammers harder under Hoseok’s amused gaze. What’s the point? It’s not like him being concerned about Jeongguk is a crime. Anyone would be worried if their friend went MIA for a few days, it’s common courtesy.

“Right, of course,” the trainer agrees but humour laces his tone. “Still, I’m sure he’ll appreciate you coming to see him.”

Taehyung nods but doesn’t speak and he’s sure his cheeks are colouring darker. It’s confusing, to say the least. Hoseok didn’t even say anything out of the blue so why is he blushing and stuttering like a teenager?

“Is he done with training? He normally gets off at this time, right?” Taehyung asks, checking his wristwatch. 

Hoseok’s eyebrows raise for a second before he nods. “Usually, yes. But as I said before, he’s been pushing himself too hard this week so I’m not sure if he’ll end his training for the day anytime soon.” He tilts his head. “Or maybe now that you’re here, he might finish up a little earlier than usual today.”

Taehyung smiles at him, ignoring the teasing lilt in his tone. The two stay silent as they approach one of the only two rooms on the third floor. The sign on it reads F1 simulators and Taehyung’s stomach flips at the thought of him facing Jeongguk after almost four days of no contact.

He doesn’t even understand why he’s nervous. It’s just him checking up on Jeongguk. It’s not like the younger will mind a little surprise visit, will he? The only reason Taehyung is even here is for the sake of their contractual relationship. Nothing else. And after what happened on Saturday night Taehyung thinks they’re close enough for him to stop second guessing everything he does with Jeongguk and behave just as he is with his other friends.

Maybe that’s what’s making him nervous. Seeing Jeongguk again after the last time they met, when Taehyung was at his lowest. After Jeongguk saw his vulnerability, he did everything in his power to comfort him through gentle touches and even gentler words. Taehyung doesn’t remember when he fell asleep in Jeongguk’s arms after spending a good portion of that night with tears in his eyes but he does know it was one of the best sleeps he’s ever had. 

He didn’t wake up the next morning in the younger’s embrace once again and had to squash down the disappointment he felt because of it. Why would Jeongguk stay, anyways? He had his own life and according to the note he left on Taehyung’s bedside table, training in the morning. 

The rushed handwriting did make him smile, though, as did the fact that Jeongguk stayed with him the entire night making sure he was alright even when he had to train at 6 that morning. 

The reality of what happened the night before, that Jeongguk had seen a version of him that not many have and that he knew everything about his dysfunctional family, dawned on him the moment he had his first sip of tea. Thoughts of what Jeongguk must be thinking of his situation, if he was disgusted at Taehyung’s breakdown, if he even wanted to be friends with someone with such a fucked up background anymore plagued him the entire day, disappearing the moment Jeongguk had texted him that night, asking him if he’s feeling much better.

I’m here if you want to talk some more , the text read and Taehyung felt warm from the inside of his ribs to the tip of his toes. 

Hoseok opens the door with his keycard and steps in with Taehyung at his heels, the latter gasping softly at the sight before him. A huge, black cylinder-like machine stood in front of him, its middle suspended in the air but anchored to the ground on all four sides. He watches in complete awe as it moves from left to right by the flexible poles and spots a figure in red inside. A couple of people surround the terrifying yet fascinating machine and stand waiting with clipboards in their hands and take notes, one of the two continuously glancing at the stopwatch in her hand.

Taehyung squints at the person inside. “Is that—” he turns to Hoseok, who’s also staring at the machine with a curious expression. “Is that Jeongguk inside?”

Hoseok blinks at him before nodding. “Yes. He’s currently in a simulator that replicates the exact environment and sensation of not only sitting in a race car, but also has multiple modes and tracks that he can use to practice before a race.” He smiles at him. “Follow me.”

Taehyung is led through a door inside the room they’re in and into a smaller room that resembles a control centre. He stares at the huge screen which replays what he guesses is Jeongguk’s current simulation from the racer’s POV, below which lie several control panels and a monitor that shows someone’s fast heart rate.

“Is that even normal?” Taehyung asks over the rapid beeping machine, staring at the 176 bpm with a gulp. 

“I wouldn’t say normal,” Hoseok shrugs and the singer can’t believe his nonchalance, “but you don’t need to worry at all, Taehyung. All drivers are trained to maintain this high of a heart rate during a race by various exercises during the preparation week,” he reassures him, probably sensing his concern. “Jeongguk probably doesn’t even realise how fast his heart is right now, given how he’s about to finish the race.”

Taehyung watches as Jeongguk crosses the finish line and a bunch of numbers and statistics that mean nothing to him pop up on the screen. He watches Hoseok discuss them with the rest of the people present for a couple of minutes before getting bored. Opening the door back into the simulator room, he steps away from the technical babble only to be floored by the sight of Jeongguk walking down the tiny set of stairs now temporarily attached to the black machine instead.

His breath gets stuck in his throat as he watches Jeongguk walk away from the simulator in his red Ferrari racing gear, before taking off his matching helmet. His body warms up seeing sweat drip down his face and Jeongguk lets out a breath before shaking his head, droplets falling from his damp hair. He runs a hand through it, looking so effortlessly… sexy that Taehyung gets violent flashbacks from that day he saw the younger at the gym in all his shirtless glory. He might just start salivating because fuck , if Jeon Jeongguk right after a race isn’t a sight to behold.

Even when he tilts his head back, letting out a tired sigh of relief, Jeongguk looks like he belongs in a museum. Long dimples poking through his cheeks, exquisitely sharp jawline straining with his breath; just a work of art. 

Taehyung lets out the air stuck in his lungs with a loud whoosh that grabs Jeongguk’s attention, who turns to him, surprise colouring his features. Taehyung’s heart skips a beat when he sees his face light up upon realisation and watches him jog to him, the two meeting in the middle of the room with identical smiles on their faces.

“Hey,” he greets, a little shy all of a sudden. It’s a little difficult maintaining eye contact with how Jeongguk is looking at him right now, all bright eyed and with the biggest smile growing.

“Tae, hi!” Jeongguk exclaims, sounding genuinely elated as he pulls Taehyung into a hug. The smell of musk, cinnamon and a hint of sweat engulfs him instantly and his heart beats faster. The younger hooks his chin on his shoulder and no matter how sweaty Jeongguk is right now, Taehyung can’t seem to mind. “What are you doing here?” He pulls away from his neck to face him but his arms still wrap around the older’s waist.

“Well someone didn’t respond to my texts so I thought I’ll check up on you,” he narrows his eyes playfully.

Jeongguk gives him a guilty smile. “Ah, well. I’ve been a bit occupied with training.” His eyes widen and his bottom lip juts out. “Forgive me?”

Taehyung almost feels his heart clench at the sight. “This is emotional blackmail,” he replies, eyes rolling fondly. He almost has to bite the inside of his cheek to control his urge to smile. “But I do hope you’re taking rests in between and not overworking yourself.”

Jeongguk blinks before scrunching his nose slightly. “Aww, is Taehyungie worried about me?” he grins before hugging him again, aligning their bodies closer.

The implication sends blood rushing to his face, as does the way he buries his face in Taehyung’s neck. Heat spreads in the parts where Jeongguk touches him and the older’s heart beats so fast he feels like he might be getting an aneurysm. 

What the fuck is happening to him?

“I am not! Get your gross, sweaty body off me!” he exclaims, weakly pushing him away even though it’s the last thing he wants. 

Jeongguk, being the brat he is, just grips him harder, rubbing his damp skin and hair against Taehyung’s neck and collarbones. He’s practically squeezing him to death!

Taehyung whines and pushes him some more even though he’s secretly enjoying the proximity and warmth Jeongguk’s body brings him. Being close enough to feel his muscles is also another great plus. “You reek of sweat, speeding ticket! Stop being annoying—”

“Aw, aren’t you two just adorable?” Hoseok’s voice bursts their little bubble. He leans in a little closer. “Great acting, guys. Even I was almost convinced that you two were really dating,” he whispers, causing the two to spring apart.

Taehyung licks his lips, darting his gaze away from the two. He wipes his clammy neck as Jeongguk replies. “Aren’t we great at this?” he asks nonchalantly. “See hyung? I told you I should’ve taken up that lead role offered to me all those years ago, maybe I was destined to be an actor. Right, Tae?”

A heavy feeling akin to disappointment sinks in Taehyung’s chest and he tries to ignore it. Why would he be disappointed? He was acting too, of course. Jeongguk just confirmed it for both of them. Friends don’t hold each other so intimately and their eyes don’t soften to that extent when seeing the other. Jeongguk’s acting is top notch, he has to admit. It just sucks that a tiny part of him forgot why he was here in the first place. Not to check up on him, but to show their relationship off in front of his entire team. 

He needs to get back on his game and focus .

Taehyung lifts his gaze and manages to scoff playfully in reply. “You? In a lead role?” he chuckles, shaking his head. “Did you forget how our first date went because of you? How you couldn’t even hold my hand? You might be good at a few things but acting is not one of them.”

Jeongguk narrows his eyes and his cheeks tint pink from embarrassment at the memory. “Why are you bringing that night up? It was like ten billion years ago. Fine,” He steps closer to him, one arm holding his waist, once again bringing them closer. “How about this, precious?” He whispers, their faces inches away, spiking Taehyung’s heart rate again. Did he forget Hoseok is still standing there staring at the two of them? “How’s this for acting?”

“Terrible,” Taehyung whispers back, breath hitching as he feels fingers tracing his skin under the hem of his t-shirt. His own hands find themselves resting on Jeongguk’s firm chest, his heart pounding beneath his fingertips. 

His brain feels like it’s stuffed with cotton and he barely hears Hoseok clear his throat in the background. “I’ll leave you two to it, then,” he says with a smile, breaking his trance.

“You won’t be joining us for dinner, hyung?” Taehyung asks him, trying to distract himself from the pads of Jeongguk’s fingers that are still moving absentmindedly along his skin.

“Ah, no. Unlike Jeongguk, my work for today isn’t over yet. I have to prepare his schedule for tomorrow,” he gives the racer a pointed look, “which starts at 6, so don’t be up too late tonight.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes before detaching himself from Taehyung. Gone is his warmth and that fluttery feeling. “Fine, appa . See you tomorrow,” he grins, prompting Hoseok to shake his head before leaving.

He turns to Taehyung with a smile. “Do you want to go straight for dinner or would you like a tour of the place first?”

Taehyung smiles. “A tour, of course!” he exclaims, clapping his hands. “This place looks sick, I can’t wait to see the entirety of it.”

Jeongguk returns his smile with a nod. He then pauses for a moment before flicking his chin gently. “I really am grateful for you checking up on me,” he says, honey-dripping from his voice.

Taehyung’s stomach flips. “Just making sure you aren’t dead,” he tries to reply jokingly but it comes out soft instead. But he has no interest in expanding on that. Jeongguk should know he was a little worried about him. 

“Ah, I might as well be if we don’t eat soon,” he whines, rubbing his stomach. “So let’s get this tour over with, shall we?”

Jeongguk quickly shows him around the entire Academy, which is mostly empty now that everyone’s day is almost over. Taehyung is led into the room next to the simulation room, where Jeongguk explains what the others were talking about his performance the last time he was here. He takes him to the gyms and the singer almost faints at all the workout plans pasted on the walls. Taehyung is an idol who has to maintain his own strict diet and exercise routines but this? This is so excessive. No wonder Jeongguk’s body is so…toned. And perhaps a bit drool worthy.

The older is shown various other rooms, places where he’s given neuro- and biofeedback training along with mental and cognitive coaching. Taehyung even meets some of Jeongguk’s team members in their staff room, who could not stop gushing over how cute the two of them are and how much Jeongguk’s performance has gotten better after they got together. 

Taehyung waves his hand. “I have nothing to do with it, of course,” he shakes his head as he smiles at Jeongguk, who’s looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “Jeonggukie has always been a talented racer, I’m sure he would have flourished even without me in the picture. I’m so proud of him.”

His team coos some more at that and Taehyung enjoys the red flush on Jeongguk’s cheeks. He has to remind himself that even though he means his words this is all just for show, especially when Jeongguk places a gentle kiss on his cheek in front of them, leading to more cheering and whistling. 

Their last stop is another simulation room, only this time with two small cars in front of a screen, similar to an arcade. “This is the place where visitors or guests can experience the driving experience for themselves.” He points to the cars. “You can drive a few laps on simulations of real life race tracks and your car turns and jolts just like the real thing.” He stretches and grins at him. “And with that, we conclude our tour. Thank you for joining me on this adventure and the exit is to the right,” he imitates the tone of a tour guide and points to the door where they came from.

Taehyung giggles at his antics before staring at the machine. It looks really fun, if he’s being honest. He wants to try it but he isn’t sure if they have the time. When will he get the chance to do something like this again? Now that his team has seen them together, there’s no need for him to drive all the way here just to meet Jeongguk. And with the whole contract ending in 5 months—

“You want to give it a try, don’t you?” Jeongguk reads his mind, now standing right next to him all the while Taehyung was lost in thought. 

The singer gives him a sheepish smile. “I do,” he admits. “But I know you’re hungry, so—”

“It’s fine,” Jeongguk dismisses it. “One race is just a few laps, so the whole thing isn’t more than ten minutes. I can wait that much.” He shrugs like it’s nothing. 

Taehyung nods excitedly. “Really? Then race with me! You have to buy me dinner if you lose.”

“Are you seriously challenging me at something I’m so talented at, as you said a few minutes prior?” he raises his eyebrows. Confidence sits so prettily on Jeongguk’s face. His brow arches, lips smirk, and he’s the playboy of everyone’s dreams. 

When Taehyung nods again, he grins. “Alright, challenge accepted.” He unlocks his phone. “Let me text the technician to start this thing up.”

After the machines have been started in the next five minutes, the two shake hands. “May the best racer win,” Taehyung smirks and starts walking to the nearest machine in front of him. Before he can reach it, however, Jeongguk rushes to claim it. 

“This is mine!” he exclaims, slightly startling Taehyung. He points to the other one. “ That one is yours.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at his bizarre behaviour before settling in the cramped seat. “You’re not cheating, are you?” he eyes Jeongguk’s advancing form and places his hands on the rectangular controller that acts as a wheel in front of him.

Jeongguk tilts his head with an amused expression. “Why would a professional F1 racer that’s currently placed fifth in the general ranking need to cheat?”

The cockiness in his tone coupled with that smug expression, a combination that used to enrage Taehyung to no end, now causes heat to pool involuntarily in his abdomen. He grips the handles of the controller harder, rolling his eyes but listening nonetheless.

“That’s what I thought,” he hears Jeongguk chuckle before placing his hands right on top of Taehyung’s. A current zaps through his body at the contact, throat tightening when he leans closer to his face. 

“Pull for braking and push for acceleration,” he instructs with an unnecessary low voice, moving Taehyung’s hands according to his guidance. “Turn it left or right when needed and try not to come on to the boundary strip, the entire vehicle will start moving hard enough to feel a jolt in your bones.” He breathes out, his minty breath hitting Taehyung’s face and his brain completely short-circuits. “Understood?’

No. Taehyung did not understand. Taehyung isn’t sure if he heard a single word Jeongguk said, actually.

He stills hums, hoping Jeongguk moves away from him and the flush creeping onto his cheeks stops completely. Thankfully, he does and plops into his own vehicle, giving Taehyung a grin and a thumbs up.

Fuck, was there a need to show him how it works in such a manner? Taehyung tries to get his breathing to normal, urges the burning touch on his hands to go away. Maybe Jeongguk did it on purpose, to affect him and throw him off his game.

Yes , Taehyung decides as he watches Jeongguk’s expression go from playful to determined in a second flat. That was his plan. Taehyung isn’t going to let him succeed so easily. It’s time for payback.

“Put your seatbelt on. The race will be 5 laps, so around 10 minutes. All good?”

Taehyung gulps before nodding and he can’t help but notice the authoritative tone Jeongguk has when he gets into professional mode. His mouth is a straight line, eyes slightly narrowed, voice a few octaves deeper—

Go!

The screen in front of him shows and Taehyung barely has time to collect his thoughts before his car is shooting forward on the screen. He has no idea which circuit they’re racing on or when the lap ends but he does know that Jeongguk is ahead of him which isn’t surprising in the slightest.

But it’s also not acceptable. 

He pushes the square controller in front of him and his car jolts backward as it picks up speed. Taehyung isn’t a fabulous driver by any means but he’s doing much better than expected, barely hitting the strips and effortlessly manoeuvring the vehicle after getting the hang of it. He spots Jeongguk’s car in front of him and he desperately wants to sneak a glance at him but he knows it’ll only distract him. Who knows what sort of expression he has on his face? If his gaze is focused, jaw rigid, tongue poking into the flesh of his cheek in annoyance…

Fuck, Taehyung. Concentrate .

He has no idea how but after a couple minutes of the two cars dancing around each other and avoiding the other trying to derail them off the track, Taehyung overtakes Jeongguk and his breath stutters when he hears the breathy fuck coming out from the racer’s mouth when he realises he’s in second place currently.

Taehyung doesn’t let it distract him and pushes on the accelerator as much as can, trying to maintain the lead. He doesn’t know how fast time passes but soon the screen is telling him it’s his last lap and he’s still in first place. He sees Jeongguk right on his tail in the rearview screen just as he crosses the finish line, the car’s movements coming to a stop when he pulls on the brakes. 

Confetti explodes on screen along with YOU WIN in gold lettering appearing and Taehyung finally takes a look at Jeongguk as he unbuckles his seatbelt.

Jeongguk, for someone who’s deathly competitive, doesn’t look that deterred by the loss and just flashes Taehyung a raise of his eyebrows and an impressed expression. Taehyung can’t wait to gloat in his face.

The two get out of the car and are surprised to see Hoseok standing there with a smile on his face. “This was one of the most entertaining races I’ve ever seen, I must admit.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “I thought you were working?” he asks tauntingly.

“Wow, the hostility? For your information, I’m only here because I finished working and am now going home.”

“Leave him be, hyung,” Taehyung grins, folding his hands. “He’s just bitter because he lost to me .”

Jeongguk scoffs. “I am not bitter. You just had what we like to call beginner’s luck.”

Taehyung’s grin only widens at his attitude. “Oh sure, sure. It doesn’t matter cause in the end, I won. And now I’ll gladly enjoy my free dinner.” He adds just to piss the younger off and totally not because he really likes seeing Jeongguk clench his jaw and poke his tongue into his cheek when he gets annoyed. No, not at all. 

“Jeongguk’s treating you to dinner?” Hoseok asks, eyebrows raised. He glances at Jeongguk, who averts his gaze. 

Taehyung nods proudly. “Yeah! I challenged him that if I win, he’ll treat me to dinner. And I did, so…” he looks at the racer expectantly, batting his eyelashes.

Jeongguk glares at him for a solid second, eyes darting to every corner of Taehyung’s face, as if he is trying to memorise his cheekily proud expression. 

“Fine, whatever. Let me get changed and gather all my stuff. Wait here with Hobi hyung.” 

Taehyung turns to Hoseok and smiles once Jeongguk leaves. “You must be surprised that I came first. I know I am. Must be beginner’s luck just like he said, but of course I’m not going to admit that in front of him.”

Hoseok tilts his head and stares at him in silence for a moment. “Not really,” he answers with a smile. “I was sure Jeongguk won’t win this race, because well— his machine is broken.”

The smile drops off Taehyung’s face. He suddenly remembers Jeongguk rushing to claim that machine in place of him and how his car sometimes struggled to turn and stay on track. His heartbeat begins to accelerate. “Broken?”

“Yeah. The controller is kinda unresponsive and needs to be replaced. It gets stuck sometimes too.”

Taehyung blinks, unable to believe it. Why would Jeongguk purposely sit on the machine that’s malfunctioning? “He must’ve not known,” he replies. Because there’s no other explanation possible. Jeongguk is the most combative person he knows, why would he lose willingly?

Hoseok shakes his head. “No, he did. I ran into the technician on my way out and he told me you two were here racing each other. When I asked him about the broken machine, he said he’d informed Jeongguk of it on text earlier.” An amused expression settles on his face. “You must know by now how competitive Jeongguk is, so I was a little stunned seeing him on the broken machine.”

Taehyung is at a loss of words. He simply stares at the trainer, incapable of forming a reply. His mind is a whirlwind, trying to find a reason as to why Jeongguk would want to lose to Taehyung, knowing he has to pay for their dinner along with it, but is not able to. 

As if his brain has turned into jelly and the ability to form a cohesive thought melted away. All Taehyung can think is why. Why would Jeongguk do something like that? 

Why would his fake boyfriend who is sort of his friend purposefully lose a game for him? 

Thankfully he doesn’t have to reply as Jeongguk’s approaching footsteps echo in the room. He’s changed into another pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt and his face looks fresher. “Shall we go?” he asks Taehyung, who nods, still rendered mute by the revelation. “Hobi hyung, you want to come with?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “Nah, I just want to go home and relax in my bathtub for a few hours,” he says, smiling at the two. “You two have fun. And Taehyung,” he addresses him with a wink, “Enjoy your hard-earned win.”

Taehyung flushes at the teasing and hopes it isn’t too noticeable. “Where do you want to eat?” he hears Jeongguk ask.

“I’m in the mood for some Thai food tonight.”

“Great. Let’s go,” he says, walking towards the door behind Hoseok.

Taehyung hesitates for a moment before following him. He wants to ask Jeongguk about the whole ordeal; wants to confirm it for himself but isn’t sure if it’s the right thing to do. It might make the whole atmosphere uncomfortable and open up a can of worms he isn’t ready to face yet. So he shakes his head and follows the two, shelving his thoughts for later.

♬♬♬

Just as Jeongguk’s about to sit inside his car, his phone rings.

He glances at his screen and winces. It’s Taehyung’s third call of the night and he’s sure that a scolding is waiting for him on the other line the moment he picks up.

He was supposed to be at the singer’s place at least an hour ago and they were to go Yoongi and Jimin’s engagement party together. The fact that his best friend is engaged to Taehyung’s best friend still hasn’t settled in yet but he doesn’t have the time to contemplate over all that at the moment.

Jeongguk decides to spare Taehyung any more misery and answers the call.

“Hi…?” he greets but it comes out as a question instead.

“Jeon Jeongguk,” the voice on the other end says, tone eerily calm. “May I ask where the fuck have you been for the past hour?”

The full name usage? Oh he’s in trouble. “I–” he scrambles to find an excuse, something that sounds more forgivable than I was passed out drunk on my only day off and I lost track of time. “I wanted to take a nap and forgot to set an alarm.” There. That’s an honest, believable mistake, right?

There’s a long pause before he hears Taehyung sigh. “Alright,” he says but Jeongguk doesn’t think he bought any of his bullshit. “What time will you be here?”

“Probably in the next 20 minutes.” Knowing Seoul traffic, it’s a terrible estimate.

“If you’re not here in the next 5 minutes, I will burn our contract right in front of your eyes.”

Jeongguk gulps, knowing Taehyung isn’t the kind to joke about this. “Tae, you know that’s not possible,” he tries to reason but he knows it’s a lost cause. 

“You’re a racer aren’t you? Speed is your thing. You’ll figure it out,” he replies before cutting the call, leaving Jeongguk puzzled. 

He checks his watch. It’s currently 7:37 p.m. and they were supposed to be at the party half an hour ago. Even if he somehow manages to survive Taehyung’s wrath, he knows Jimin is already thinking of fifty ways to murder him. Guess there’s no other choice but to do what he does best: speed.

After 4 minutes, 56 seconds and breaking a few laws here and there he finds himself parked right in front of Taehyung’s apartment, out of breath as if he ran all the way here. “Precious,” he gasps out as soon as he picks up, “I’m here. You can come down now.”

Taehyung only hums before disconnecting. Wow . No ‘good job’ for reaching here in time, no ‘thank you’? Jeongguk knows he’s late but a little show of gratitude won’t kill him. Doesn’t everyone run better with a little praise?

Someone knocks on the passenger window, startling him out of his thoughts. He unlocks the door and just as he’s about to start scolding Taehyung about his manners, the door opens and his words get stuck in his throat. 

Taehyung plops onto his seat with a flip of his hair and Jeongguk swears his heart skips a couple of beats. He’s seen Taehyung in almost everything; from shimmery, extravagant shirts to plain pyjamas. Hell, he’s seen him in his own clothes as well. But something about Taehyung’s look tonight, the simple yet elegant baby blue suit with white shirt underneath, stole his breath away completely. He doesn’t know if it’s the way his soft, golden hair looks styled yet naturally fluffy, or the way the colours of the suit complement his honey skin perfectly. He finds himself in a trance and before he knows it, Taehyung has caught wind of it.

“What?” Jeongguk hears him ask, a mixture of annoyance and confusion in his tone. It effectively snaps him out of his stupor.

“You— I—” he stutters, cheeks heating up the more Taehyung stares at him expectantly. Fuck, what’s wrong with him? It’s just Taehyung in a suit!

“Yes?” the other demands, clearly impatient after all the waiting in the past hour.

“You look so gorgeous,” Jeongguk blurts out, the horror of it all settling in the moment the words leave his mouth. 

So? Gorgeous? So ?!

Shooting himself in the foot would be less painful than this embarrassment. 

Taehyung too seems to be out of words. He blinks a couple of times and a beautiful shade of crimson slowly spreads on his face, gulping shakily at the way Jeongguk’s gaze refuses to move from him. “Thank you,” he mumbles out in reply, tone softer than before. Jeongguk watches him look away and oh, is Taehyung feeling shy? Did he make him feel that? And why is his heart beating out of control? “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Me?” he asks stupidly, as if there’s anyone else in the car.

Taehyung finally turns to him and even though he rolls his eyes, Jeongguk can actually see the shyness in his smile and the way his eyes crinkle a bit. Oh, fuck. He might like this sight a bit too much. “Who else, if not you?”

“Right,” Jeongguk grins before turning to the wheel. He thought he’d overdone it tonight, with his grey suit that was cinched at his waist and black shirt underneath. He’d gotten a fresh haircut and his hair was nicely styled, and he’d decided to display all his piercings tonight. For someone who had less than fifty minutes to get ready, he thought he did a pretty good job. He’s glad Taehyung thinks so too. For some reason.

“Now, shall we leave? Jimin and Yoongi are going to kill us, by the way.”

Jeongguk starts the car but shakes his head. “Yoongi would never kill you. One puppy-eyed glance and he’ll melt instantly. Jimin on the other hand…yeah, I might die tonight.” His throat dries. That man might be short and cute but, holy shit, is he terrifying. 

“You’ll deserve it for making us all wait.” He turns to him, eyes narrowed. “Did you truly forget to set your alarm?” 

Jeongguk averts his gaze, knowing there’s a chance Taehyung might see the lie in his eyes. “Of course,” he replies, guilt stinging his insides, “why would I lie to you?”

“Good,” Taehyung smiles a little, worsening that feeling. “Now let’s hurry before they send out a search party for us.”

The drive to the venue isn’t long. Taehyung and Jeongguk pass the minutes by talking about their days until they reach. Talking to Taehyung, be it on the phone or in person, has become one of the most favourite parts of his day. It’s a little hard to keep up with him since he jumps from topic to topic so fast it gives him whiplash but he enjoys it nonetheless. For someone who couldn’t stand a second of hearing his breathy, deep voice, Jeongguk now can’t help but smile as he nods along to whatever Taehyung is saying. It’s a nice distractor from the turmoil ensuing from within him. 

The driveway to the venue is full of cars when they arrive. Taehyung clicks his tongue at the swarm of reporters lined next to the steps leading to the hall where the party is being held. “It’s so crowded here.”

Lines of people rush to enter the hall, dressed to the nines and bathed in perfume to give the air a sweet scent. Lights from inside illuminate the sky and even from a distance, he can hear the giggles of people having a good time. 

Jeongguk hums. “Korea’s most successful supermodel is engaged to one of the most sought-after producers, what else did you expect? It’s going to be one of the most famous weddings in the last decade.”

A stray, unwelcome thought enters his head as he answers. Would his and Taehyung’s wedding attract this much attention, if not more? Their engagement posts are in the top 20 of the most liked Instagram posts list. How would the reactions to their wedding be?

Ugh, why the fuck is Jeongguk thinking about a wedding that’s never going to happen anyways? He’s an idiot. He shakes his head at himself, trying to push those kinds of thoughts away. 

Taehyung chuckles. “Ours would’ve been so much more popular,” he turns to him, shiny brown eyes making him spellbound. “Don’t you agree?”

Jeongguk gulps and nods slowly. Taehyung was thinking about their wedding too. Perhaps he’s not the only idiot here. 

They stop in front of the valet parking sign. Taehyung sighs. “Time to get back into our roles, I guess,” he says, smoothening his suit. A bitter feeling settles in Jeongguk’s stomach at the reminder. “You ready, Jeonggukie?”

Jeongguk flashes him a small smile and gets out of the car, walking over to the passenger door and opening it. Taehyung shakes his head amusedly. “Such a gentleman all of a sudden,” he whispers as he takes Jeongguk’s outstretched palm.

“For you, precious? Always,” the racer grins before pressing a kiss on Taehyung’s hand. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes but a natural pinkness spreads across his cheeks, rivalling the artificial blush he’s put on tonight. He loops his arm around Jeongguk’s as the reporters finally spot them and at once, all the cameras are on them and they’re bathed in flashing lights and shutters snapping.

Not only is this their first public appearance in front of the media at an official event, they’re also best friends of both grooms. After Yoongi and Jimin, they might be the main characters tonight. 

They’re flooded with shouts and cheers from both sides as they walk the carpet leading to the entrance, calls of their names and pleads for them to give them a smile. Jeongguk watches Taehyung put on his best award winning smile and wave to the crowd clamouring for their attention.

He licks his lips. While he couldn’t be considered camera shy, Jeongguk still isn’t that used to all the glitz and glamour, at least not like Taehyung is, someone who has been followed and harassed by cameras ever since he was born, probably. Son to the richest man in South Korea, an aspiring idol, one of the first few outed gay celebrities of the country, having only high-profilers as his friends and now dating the youngest F1 racer in history. Kim Taehyung could never escape the ever-looming lens trained on him at every second even if he tried.

Meanwhile Jeongguk’s reputation is abysmal in comparison. 

“Gguk?” Taehyung's soft voice interrupts his thoughts. Jeongguk turns to face him and sees his expression concerned. “Are you alright?”

The younger blinks. Was he truly looking so out of it? “I’m fine,” he reassures him with a smile. “I might go blind soon though. How do you handle this amount of flashes regularly?”

Taehyung laughs and shakes his head. “I have no idea how my retinas aren’t fried yet, to be honest. I guess, I just had to get used to it. I’ve been exposed to all this since I was a mere toddler. There wasn’t much I could do to stop it,” he ends with a shrug. 

Jeongguk wonders if he ever gets exhausted of this kind of life. Being in the spotlight must be so demanding; always looking perfect, always having to poise for other people’s enjoyment. Taehyung does it like it’s second nature while Jeongguk is stumbling around trying to catch up. 

They stop at the entrance and Taehyung turns one last time at the paps and blows them a flying kiss. The crowd instantly goes wild and Jeongguk realises the trance Taehyung has them all under. How gone they already are for him, even though his career has just begun. How he truly is the nation’s sweetheart.

“You should get used to this too,” Taehyung whispers with a smile. “Soon, you’ll be a much bigger celebrity than all of us when you become the youngest F1 champion.” He tightens his hold on him as another reporter begs for a shot.

Jeongguk laughs. “You really have a lot of confidence in me for someone who hasn’t watched one full race.”

Taehyung grins. “Of course I do. You’re Jeon fucking Jeongguk. You’re already a champion to me.”

All the ruckus around Jeongguk suddenly silences and only the deafening thuds of his heart beating out of his chest can be heard. Taehyung’s eyes sparkle and his words spread euphoria to each crevice of his body. 

You’re already a champion to me.

An unfamiliar sensation blooms in his chest, something that makes him feel different emotions all at once. He doesn’t know how to reply or how to look away from Taehyung’s gaze. Instead, his brain just demands that he respond in a way that isn’t verbal. Something grander than simple thank you. His body moves on autopilot as he leans closer to Taehyung’s face, watches his smile drop. Taehyung’s eyes close and his breath hitches as Jeongguk’s lips hover over his lips for a second before he presses them on his right cheek.

The crowd probably goes wild again but Jeongguk can only hear them faintly in the background as he watches Taehyung open his eyes, his gaze dazed. His lips part but he doesn’t speak.

“Thank you,” Jeongguk says, gently touching his cheek for a moment before leading him inside, still dumbfounded.

The party is in full swing when they enter. The venue is tastefully decorated in white and gold and soft music pours through the speakers around them. People are already mingling with each other, glasses of champagne and whiskey in hand and some are even on the dance floor. It’s a little too classy for a couple their age but in just one glance Jeongguk can tell Jimin’s insanely loaded parents had a hand in this. And Yoongi’s family, who didn’t come from a just as wealthy background, must’ve had to go along with most of the decisions made by them.

Taehyung, who seems to have come back to a normal state now, surveys the room quickly. “Can you spot Jimin or Yoongi anyw—”

“You two are fucking dead tonight,” Jimin’s eerily quiet voice speaks from behind them, startling the two. The two give each other identical fearful looks before turning around and facing a very pissed off Jimin and an exasperated Yoongi behind them. Well, looks like they found the happy couple. “What the hell is wrong with you guys?”

“You were supposed to be here almost two hours ago, helping us set everything up. We’ve been going crazy with Jimin’s mom doling out instructions left and right since morning.” Yoongi sounds genuinely disappointed in the two, which causes Jeongguk to feel guilty. The guests of honour barely look like they’re enjoying themselves. He turns to Taehyung only to see him already having his puppy eyes full on display.

Here we go.

“Yoongi hyung,” he says in a soft voice, “we’re really sorry for coming in late.” He glances at Jeongguk and the racer waits to take the blame as usual. “I took a long time to get ready tonight. I wanted to look my best to celebrate my two best friends’ engagement and I guess I got carried away.”

Jeongguk blinks, turning to him in confusion. Why is Taehyung taking the fall for him? He could’ve easily thrown the whole thing on him and rightfully so. What’s going on in that pretty head of his?

He watches Yoongi and Jimin’s anger melt right off their faces, just as expected. They exchange looks for a moment. “Well, I can understand,” Jimin sighs. Jeongguk cannot believe how fucking easy it is for Taehyung to get what he wants from those two. Must be nice. “And you look absolutely stunning so…” he squishes Taehyung’s cheeks slightly. “You’re forgiven.” Yoongi nods in agreement.

Taehyung grins. “Thank you,” he addresses both of them. “This party is amazing, truly.”

“Yeah, people seem to be really enjoying themselves,” Jeongguk pitches, already looking around for a waiter with a tray of drinks. He spots one on his far right. “I’m just going to grab a drink—”

“Where do you think you’re going?” he hears Jimin ask just as he turns around. “I haven’t forgiven you yet.”

Jeongguk gasps and faces him again. “Why does he get special treatment?” He jabs a finger towards Taehyung, who’s looking at the exchange with amusement in his eyes. “Don’t I look good too?”

“Master his puppy-eyed stare and then we’ll talk.”

Taehyung laughs at Jimin’s reply and shakes his head, looping his arm around Yoongi’s. “Are your parents here? I want to meet them.”

Yoongi nods and leads him away to a corner of the room, leaving Jeongguk and Jimin alone near the entrance. Jimin studies him intensely, almost making him squirm under his gaze. 

“What?”

“Was it Taehyung’s fault you two were late?” Jimin asks, eyes narrowed. “Be honest with me.”

Jeongguk gulps. He should just come clean. Tell Jimin what really happened. It’s not like he hasn’t seen that side of him multiple times before. But the shame holds him back. What kind of best friend is he, passing out drunk mere hours before Jimin’s engagement party? Instead of being at his side at all times to celebrate one of the most important events of his life, he chose to act selfishly knowing what the outcome was going to be. If Jimin knew the truth he would definitely forgive him, because that’s just how he is. 

But he might feel bad, disappointed even, that Jeongguk couldn’t prioritise someone else for one day and Jeongguk can’t do that to him, not when he’s supposed to be happy at all times. Today is Jimin’s day, not one for Jeongguk to be truthfully and pathetically himself. 

The lie spills out of him without much thought. “Yes.”

Jimin keeps staring at him for the next few seconds before giving him a smile. “Alright, I believe you. You’re forgiven.” He pats him on the back. “Now come on. There’s so many people I want you to meet.” 

Jeongguk barely gets time to breathe after that. He’s whisked away from conversation to conversation in a matter of seconds, as if he’s playing a game of speed dating. The faces he talks to blur into one after a while. He needs a break after an hour and a half about mindless chatter over the most trivial of things. 

“Excuse me,” he smiles charmingly at a girl who clearly wants to smash him, if her constantly batting lashes and not-so-subtle touches on his arm is anything to go by. “I’d like to use the restroom.”

“Oh!” she giggles, as if he’d just uttered the funniest joke ever. She twirls a strand of her long hair. “Would you like me to wait for you outside, Jeongguk?”

He almost scrunches his nose in disgust. Did this woman think they would fuck in the toilets or something?

“No, thank you,” he replies with another charming smile, hoping his jaw isn’t clenched too tightly. He bows slightly before taking his leave. 

Relieving himself in the empty restroom, he sighs with his eyes closed as he leans against a wall next to the basins. He’s dreading another hour of mindless chit chat and small talk. Jeongguk might not be a raging introvert, he knows his way around a conversation, but he despises talking about trivial things like the weather. It’s a perfectly awkward way to enhance an already tense atmosphere. He doesn’t know how Taehyung does it. They haven’t reunited since they all split up upon entering but Jeongguk has glanced at him multiple times fully engaged in a conversation. No matter who he’s talking to, Taehyung looks like he truly cares about what the other person has to say, nodding along and his eyes shining with interest. He has seen a few of Taehyung’s interviews before and he always found it surprising and a little envious how good his rapport is with every single interviewer. Jeongguk could learn a thing or two from him.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Time to get back to non-stop chatter that might actually bore him to death.

Jeongguk’s eyes shoot open upon hearing the strangely familiar voice. Something cold trickles down his spine. “Matteo,” he asks, eyeing the man leaning against the door with his arms folded. “What are you doing here?”

“Happy to see me?” he asks back, looking polished in a semi-formal two piece suit, with his hair styled and centrally parted. Looking right out of a magazine. Holy shit, is this guy a model or a racer?

Not really , Jeongguk wants to answer. Matteo has been texting him non-stop after their first meeting, trying to get Jeongguk out drinking with him. He’s avoided it multiple times and given hundreds of excuses, even refusing once by saying that he has a date with his fiance, but it seems like Matteo cannot take a hint. Or doesn’t want to. Whatever it might be, Jeongguk is getting more irritated each passing day. He’s one more shitty pick up line away from straight up blocking the guy. 

“More so surprised,” he washes his hands in the washbasin just so he has something to do. “Did Jimin invite you? I didn’t know you two knew each other.”

Matteo doesn’t reply at first. He simply stares at Jeongguk through the mirror for a moment before slowly walking and standing next to him. “Mr. Hoseok invited me.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise. “Hobi hyung did?” When did these two get so close? Close enough for Hoseok to invite him as his plus one? Doesn’t Hoseok know how much he hates this guy? “I didn’t know you two were—”

“Oh it’s nothing like that I fear,” he interrupts him with a smile, pressed against the wall to purposefully make his arms look huge, “I came here with the intention of meeting you, actually.”

Jeongguk is caught off-guard. He blinks a couple of times before turning to him. “Me? You came for me? Does Hoseok hyung know?”

When Matteo nods, Jeongguk sighs. “Well then, why did you want to meet me?”

The other racer tilts his head before stepping closer. Jeongguk’s senses stand up on high alert. “I think I’ve made it pretty obvious that I’m interested in you, Jeongguk. And I want to get to know you better, not as a friend but as a partner.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen. It’s not like he didn’t notice; he isn’t that oblivious, but is still taken aback by the admittance. How can Matteo just drop it on him like that, in the middle of his best friend’s engagement party? And did Hoseok know about this? He’s engaged , for fuck’s sake! It would absolutely destroy all of the work he’s done with Taehyung if any news about even speaking with Matteo got out. 

It takes him a minute to gather his flailing thoughts into a proper reply. “Matteo,” he starts, hoping his voice doesn’t make it sound like he’s two seconds away from screaming and running for his life, “I’m flattered, really but— I’m sure you know this— I’m engaged. His name is Kim Taehyung and he’s at this party too. He’s handsome, kind and so loveable and I’m so in love with—”

“I know you both are in a PR relationship, so let’s just drop the act, Jeongguk,” Matteo interrupts, hands crossed across his chest.

Jeongguk almost loses his composure. His insides explode, his chest feels heavy with fear and sweat lines his palms, legs buckling. “What— How did you— Did Hobi hyung—”

Matteo watches him struggle for a while before placing his arm on his shoulder. “It’s understandable that you’re confused but don’t worry, Mr. Hoseok didn’t say a word.” He gives it a squeeze. “With you and Mr. Kim’s complicated history, the sudden picture of you kissing emerging right before your engagement announcement, the articles about your first date and Mr. Hoseok inviting me here with a text that said ‘Jeongguk will be there too’...it wasn’t too hard to figure out.”

Jeongguk will be there too? He might just kill Hoseok today.  

With Jeongguk still unable to form a reply, Matteo gets braver and lowers his arm to hold his waist. Jeongguk is too shocked to react as Matteo leans in closer. His entire body goes rigid. “Rest assured, I won’t tell anyone about this, even if you reject my proposal. I might not be a huge celebrity but I do know how this world works. You gotta do all it takes for you to survive, no?” He takes a breath. “All I want is for you to consider going on a date with me. Just give me one chance to treat you the way you deserved to be treated. We can start it on a casual note and in secret while this thing is going on or I can wait until your contract ends. I can assure you I’ll be a better boyfriend than that fake fiance of yours at least.” He ends his proposal with a laugh.

The mention of Taehyung brings him out of his shock. Jeongguk is suffocating in his hold and he steps away from the slightly taller man with a clearing of his throat. “I’m sorry but you are mistaken, Matteo. What Taehyung and I have is very much real and we are engaged, articles or not. I’m sorry for any misunderstandings you might have had but Hobi hyung only mentioned my presence today so you won’t feel too uncomfortable here.”

The lie pulls out of him so easily, so naturally, it should scare Jeongguk. But more than anything, he didn’t want to imagine the look on Taehyung’s face if he were to see what was going on. The sheer idea drags inside Jeongguk like a dull blade. 

Not even the fear that whatever they’ve built will come crumbling down but, to Jeongguk, losing this companionship terrifies him in ways he cannot verbalise. 

Matteo takes a step back with that annoying smile of his. “Alright, if you say so,” he steps back with a shrug. “But know that I’m just one call away, hmm? In case you change your mind.” He says before he leaves.

The door swivels behind Matteo, leaving behind his nauseating cologne and hair gel. Jeongguk crumples against the wall like a wilting flower and tries to compose himself. 

And one word echoes in his brain: fuck.  

♬♬♬

It takes Jeongguk more than a few minutes to calm down. His heart was pounding in his ribcage at a terrifying pace while his brain was a scrambled mess. More than anything he cannot fathom what the fuck was going on in Hoseok’s brain to invite Matteo to an event where Jeongguk is supposed to be all couple-y with Taehyung. Doesn’t he know how important it is that people believe they are together? 

After collecting both his breath and his thoughts, he marches back into the party, eyes searching for his target. After locating he walks fast towards it, ignoring a few calls of his name on his way. They don’t matter. Jeongguk has his eyes set on one person. 

“What the hell are you doing?” he asks once he reaches, startling his target and the person he’s talking to.

Hoseok looks at him in wide-eyed confusion. “I’m drinking champagne…?” he asks, gesturing to the glass in his head. Jeongguk exhales heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Jeongguk, are you alright?” Jimin asks him, eyes swimming with concern.

“No, I am not alright.” He crosses his arms and fixes his gaze on his trainer. “One word: Matteo.”

Guilt instantly replaces Hoseok’s bewildered expression. “Ah, did you meet him?”

“ Meet him? I was fucking propositioned by him! Why did you invite him as your plus one, hyung?”

Hoseok sighs. “I invited him for you, Jeongguk. He’s clearly interested in you and I don’t know– I just thought— why not?” he ends it with a shrug. 

What the fuck. 

Jeongguk clenches his fists at his sides, stepping closer and lowering his voice. “You know about the arrangement I have with Taehyung, right? Why would you risk endangering that?”

Hoseok hesitates before answering. “I’m sorry, Jeongguk. I just wanted him to be here so maybe you two could get to know each other better, since you keep ignoring his texts. I admit I wasn’t thinking clearly but I assure you, I haven’t said a word about your contract or even hinted that I’m trying to set you up.” 

“It’s no use,” Jeongguk shakes his head. “Matteo knows about the PR relationship.”

“What?!” his two best friends yell in unison, attracting the attention of the people standing around them. 

Jimin smiles at them apologetically before turning back to Jeongguk. “Tell us everything ! What did he say?” He pulls the three of them to a quiet corner to gossip in private. 

“He looked into the history of mine and Taehyung’s relationship and the articles that followed after our engagement. He said that it felt very rushed to him and after receiving Hobi hyung’s text inviting him tonight with the implication of my presence, it basically confirmed that our relationship isn’t real.” He runs a stressful hand through his hair. 

“He promised he won’t tell anyone though. Said something about surviving in this industry. So I guess I have no choice but to trust him on that.” Jeongguk shrugs. The more cynical part of him doesn’t want to believe Matteo one bit. How can he, when he barely knows that guy?

“Does he want something from you in return?” Hoseok asks, eyeing him cautiously. “Is he…blackmailing you?”

“Not really.” He lets out a tired breath. “You were right, Hobi hyung. He told me he likes me and he wants to take me out. Asked me to give us a try. He’s even patient enough to wait for the contract to end to date me.”

Jimin and Hoseok share a look before the latter speaks. “Well, then. I don’t really see the problem.” Just as Jeongguk is about to protest, Hoseok continues. “Look, I get that you think he’s clingy and persistent. But you haven’t spent more than 5 minutes with him! He might be a great guy, Jeongguk. I’m not urging you to jump into a relationship with him. But a couple of drinks after your race won’t hurt right? Why not give him a chance?”

“I kind of agree,” Jimin butts in, “I too spoke to him for the first time tonight and with what you just told me, that he’s willing to wait for you and won’t disclose the truth to anyone, he seems like a decent person. What Hobi hyung did was a bit irresponsible but he only did it for you. To give you a little nudge into something that might turn out to be great.” He tries to search for Jeongguk’s gaze. “It’s not like you’re interested in someone right now. What’s holding you back?” 

Jeongguk clicks his tongue and looks away from his two friends. His gaze immediately lands on Taehyung chatting with someone, a glass of some fruity cocktail in his hand. He laughs and tucks a golden strand behind his ear, face radiant. Jeongguk is mesmerised. 

“You haven’t dated anyone for a couple of years and Matteo is clearly into you. Like, a lot.”

Taehyung must’ve felt Jeongguk’s gaze because he turns and makes eye contact with him. A small smile blooms on his face and he excuses himself from the conversation, walking assumably towards him. 

Hoseok keeps talking next to him. “I just want you to be happy with someone who really likes you, Guk-ah. You and Matteo have so much in common, I think it might actually work out between you two.”

Taehyung raises his eyebrows as Jeongguk doesn’t look away from him. Or is unable to, he doesn’t know. Jeongguk flashes him a smile.

“So I don’t understand what’s holding you back either—” Jeongguk blinks and turns to him at his self-interruption. Hoseok follows his line of sight and sees Taehyung walking towards them. “ Oh .” He turns to Jimin. The racer flicks his gaze between his two friends, scrunching his eyebrows at their shared pointed look.

“What?” he asks irritatedly.

“Are you going to tell him about this?” Jimin turns away from their weird eye contact to ask but before Jeongguk can reply, Taehyung interrupts their conversation.

“Tell me about what?”

Jeongguk’s heart practically falls to the heel of his foot. 

Taehyung alternates looking at the three in confusion before Jeongguk shakes his head, signalling to him that it’s nothing. He inches forward. “Are you enjoying the party so far?”

If the singer noticed the change of topics, he doesn’t mention it. “Yeah! I met so many people and Jimin-ah! The Creative Director of Celine who you introduced me to said that he already knew about me and asked for Seokjin hyung’s number, saying he’ll be in touch.”

Jimin smiles at him. “That’s great, Tae. I’m happy for you.” He glances at them. “Okay, guys. I hope you’re enjoying the party, I’m going to search for my fiance now.” He pauses and lets out a dreamy sigh. “I still can’t believe I get to say that. I’m engaged! Yoongi is my fiance! I’m wearing this fancy ass ring!” he flashes the ornament before leaving, leaving the three grinning and shaking their heads. 

The music around them changes to something soft and romantic and Jeongguk, seeing a few couples make their way to the centre of the room, gets an idea. “Tae,” he turns to the man, hand extended. “Would you do me the honour?”

Taehyung tilts his head and stares at the gesture for a moment before realising. “Are you asking me for a dance, Jeon?” he smirks.

“And if I am, Kim? Will you accept?” he smirks back.

Taehyung pretends to think about it for a second before grinning and placing his hand in Jeongguk’s. “Fine, if you insist.”

The two nod at Hoseok before leaving, who just raises his glass at them before taking a sip, barely concealing his smile.

This will push Matteo away for sure. 

Jeongguk leads Taehyung to the slightly crowded dance floor. They hesitate for a moment, giving each other awkward smiles before Taehyung places a hand on his shoulder. Jeongguk clenches his hand as a reflex before putting it gingerly on his waist. 

Shit, this looks horrible. They’re supposed to be engaged but here they are acting as if they’re in a middle-school dance touching their partner for the first time ever. There are reporters and big name celebrities here, they need to step up their game, quick.

Curling that arm around Taehyung’s entire waist, Jeongguk pulls the now-startled man closer and intertwines their free hands together. “This okay?” he whispers, smiling when Taehyung nods and schools his expression.

It takes them a few seconds to get used to each other’s bodies and the song playing around them and soon they’re in sync with the other couples on the dance floor. It’s a little…different, staring right into Taehyung’s eyes while their faces are inches apart. His delicate perfume fills his nose and Jeongguk can map out every mole on his face. Their bodies slowly sway along the tune and it feels nice, being so close to him. 

“This feels a little silly,” he comments, trying to alleviate the slight tension between them. 

Taehyung giggles, shaking his head. “Does it? Have you ever slow danced before?”

“Not much,” he shrugs, ignoring the weird thump of his heart, “So forgive me if I’m terrible at it.”

Taehyung shakes his head. “You’re good enough for now,” he gives him a sweet smile. “But if you want, I can teach you sometime.”

Jeongguk tilts his head and tightens his grip on his waist. “Oh yeah? And how are you going to do that, precious?

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “So impatient,” he chides. “You’ll know when I teach you.”

Jeongguk grins and shakes his head. They both fall silent for a while and in the meantime the first song ends and another slow one starts. Neither of them mention leaving the dance floor and he’s content. 

He suddenly remembers what happened a few minutes ago with Matteo and contemplates whether he should tell taehyung about it. He should know about it too, right? At least the fact that Matteo figured out their PR relationship. How would Taehyung react? Would he be mad?

“Tae,” he whispers, glancing around to see if any couple is dancing too close by. The singer glances at him with curiosity. “About what we three were talking about earlier—”

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me about that. I understand if it’s just between you guys.”

Jeongguk shakes his head. “No, it’s not that. You should know this too.” He leans a little closer, breath hitching at the proximity. “You remember my fellow F1 racer from Ferrari? Matteo?”

Taehyung thinks for a moment before nodding. “The guy who wouldn’t stop texting you?”

Jeongguk grins and nods. “Yup, that guy.” He hesitates before continuing. “He uh— he knows about our PR relationship.”

“What?!” Taehyung stops dancing abruptly to yell, attracting the attention of the people around them. Jeongguk, who was in the same exact situation with Jimin and Hoseok a few minutes ago, just sighs.

“Yes, but he assured me he won’t disclose it to anyone,” he replies, gently nudging Taehyung to act normal and resume dancing.

The singer thankfully gets the hint, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Oh yeah, because this strange man you know barely anything about is so trustworthy.” He shakes his head. “Did he ask for something in return? Is he blackmailing you by any chance?” he presses on, looking dead serious and ready to protect him if needed.

Jeongguk, strangely enough, finds him cute. But he also knows Taehyung can be lethal when he wants to be and is not one to be messed with. He’s experienced it multiple times first hand. “No, it’s nothing of that sort.” He doesn’t know how to tell him the next part. But why? Why does Jeongguk care about how Taehyung might react to someone having a crush on him? They’re not teenagers anymore. Celebrities are normal people who can have crushes too. 

“Matteo has feelings for me,” he breathes out, carefully watching Taehyung’s expression change. His face goes from alert and intense to surprised, eyebrows raising in interest. “He doesn’t want to ruin my reputation, jus wants to take me out on a date. Said he’s willing to do it in private while our thing is going on or wait until the contract’s over.”

Taehyung blinks a couple of times. “That’s…nice of him.” His expression once again shifts to something unreadable. “So, what did you say? Did you accept?”

Do you want me to? Would you mind?

“No. The thought of accepting never even crossed my mind.”

Taehyung tilts his head. “And why not?”

Why not , indeed? Jeonggk doesn’t understand why he’s even refusing to give Matteo a chance. It’s not like he’s never gone on set-up dates before or started relationships casually and developed feelings later on. Matteo really likes him too so what’s holding him back, really?

Jeongguk doesn’t reply, choosing to stare into Taehyung’s eyes instead. The older doesn’t look away either and the two dance along to the soft music around them with their gazes locked, Jeongguk’s breath getting shakier by the second. He feels something shift between them, something that neither of them has felt before and watches Taehyung gently bite his lower lip. 

Jeongguk’s lips part on their own as if he wants to speak, but no words come out. The song once more changes and Taehyung gulps before looking away. “At least you have an option when all of this is over,” he says, tone lighthearted.

The racer laughs, throwing his head back. “I have to agree, that is a perk out of all this.” He’s not fully in it, chest empty, veins frozen. 

“Wish I had that perk too. But I guess I’m just going to die an unlovable bachelor,” Taehyung dramatically sighs.

“You? Dying alone? Impossible.”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? We’ll break off our engagement in less than six months. Finding someone after a failed engagement is hard enough but coupled with my horrible taste in men, it’s safe to say being in a relationship that isn’t disastrous is going to be a hard job for me.”

The mention of their charade being over so soon stings Jeongguk a little. His grip on Taehyung’s waist involuntarily tightens. “All of the men you dated in the past were idiots to let someone like you go.”

Taehyung smirks and detaches their joined hands only to loop both his arms around the younger’s neck. “Someone like me?”

Jeongguk knows Taehyung is teasing him but can’t stop the compliments from flowing. “Someone as beautiful, kind and caring as you. Someone who loves beings with everything he has and someone whose passion is more than commendable. Someone who’s really interesting and funny and fun to be around once you get to know him.”

Taehyung’s smirk drops and his face flushes red. “Now you’re just making fun of me,” he whines, leaning closer and tucking his face in Jeongguk’s neck.

Jeongguk’s heart skips a couple of beats at the contact. “I’m not! I swear,” he laughs at the singer’s shyness, only making him whinier.

“You so are! Now shut up and dance, you talk too much,” Taehyung instructs him but makes no move to step back from him. Not like he minds.

The two dance in silence for the next few minutes, with his hands tightly wrapped around the older’s waist and Taehyung’s chin resting on his shoulder, until Jeongguk feels a rumbling in his tummy. He’s just about to ask Taehyung if he wants to start with the enormous dinner buffet when he senses a pair of eyes on him. Glancing sideways, he sees Matteo staring at the two of them dancing, eyes intensely trained on them like a hawk. 

Jeongguk pulls Taehyung closer like an instinct, leaning his cheek against the side of his head. Matteo’s lips lift into a smirk at the action and he raises his glass at him before downing all of his contents, walking away with that smirk still persistent on his face.

Fuck.

♬ ♬♬

Taehyung hears his phone ring the moment Jeongguk leaves to pick up the delivered food downstairs. 

“Hey Jin hyung,” he greets, settling in on the couch.

“Hey, Tae. I was with a client earlier and couldn’t answer your call. What’s up?”

“It’s fine, I just wanted to talk to you about releasing my single. Are you busy?”

“Of course not, Taehyungie,” Seokjin answers sweetly. “Never too busy for you.”

The door of his apartment opens at that moment and Jeongguk walks in, hands full of delivered pizza boxes and drinks. He pauses when he sees Taehyung talking on the phone and frowns. 

“Taehyungie? You there?” 

“Yes, hyung, I'm here. Sorry,” he chuckles. “So I was thinking we can release our pre-release single in August.”

Jeongguk gestures to him to cut the call, mouthing that the food will get cold. Taehyung rolls his eyes and tells him to wait.

There’s some shuffling in the background before Seokjin answers. “That’s not a bad idea, Taehyung, but there’s going to be a lot of work to do. Are you sure it’s something you can manage with everything that’s going on?”

Before Taehyung can answer, a weight presses on his thigh. He scrunches his eyebrows and looks down, facing a pouty Jeongguk with his hair splayed on Taehyung’s pants. It’s hard for the older not to burst into laughter at his childish behaviour. 

Cute , he thinks as he cards his fingers through Jeongguk’s silky strands and watches him sigh and close his eyes. Jeongguk is so cute.

“Yes, hyung. I’ll manage. There should be enough time between the pre-release singles and the album.”

A pause on the other end before Seokjin hums. “Alright. I’ll plan a meeting soon and let you know when.”

“That’s perfect— ow!” Taehyung yelps, staring at his arm where Jeongguk’s teeth have made a faint mark. “What the fuck, Jeongguk?”

Jeongguk shoots him a mischievous grin.

“...Is Jeongguk with you right now?” his manager asks, tone intrigued. “But there wasn’t any date scheduled for you two.”

“I know. We’re just hanging out unofficially.” Taehyung rubs the spot where Jeongguk bit him. “That’s okay, right?”

“Of course it is.” The singer can sense the smile in his voice. “Well, then. I’ll leave you two to it. Have fun, I’ll text you the details of the meeting later.”

Taehyung cuts the call with a goodbye and turns to glare at Jeongguk. “What is wrong with you? I don’t give you attention so you just bite me? What are you, a dog?”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “My teeth barely made a dent. Stop overreacting, I’m starving.” He gets up from Taehyung’s lap and ruffles his hair. “I’ll set the plates, come on.”

Taehyung shakes his head in exasperation before joining him in the kitchen. He’s about to open one of the pizza boxes when Jeongguk’s phone rings. 

Jeongguk glances at his phone in confusion, ignoring Taehyung’s pointed look. A flash of fear is seen on his face the moment he sees the caller ID. “I have to take this, could you please serve the food instead?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes teasingly but starts with opening the pizza boxes while watching him from his peripheral vision. Jeongguk walks over to the couch with a furrow in his eyebrows. “Yes, appa?”

Immediately Taehyung understands the call is serious. Jeongguk’s expression goes from being troubled to downright afraid, his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip. “What do you mean? I was practising the whole day!” A pause. Then, “Of course I’m taking this seriously. I’ve been working so hard non-stop for the past couple of weeks for this, how could you say I’m slacking–” he interrupts himself with a scoff. 

Taehyung can’t believe what he’s hearing. Jeongguk? And slacking off? Taehyung has been concerned about his health and wellness for the past week because of his training but his father still believes he isn’t doing enough? He pauses plating the food and watches Jeongguk’s eyes and face turn red.

“Mr. Bianchi really said that? Or is that another rumour you believed immediately?”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair stressfully. “No, appa, I’m not trying to talk back to you. I know you say this for my own good but I’ve been working so hard for the past two weeks— you can ask Hoseok hyung or check the security cameras again— and for you to say it’s still not enough—”

Jeongguk’s father must’ve interrupted him because he stands there in Taehyung’s living room with his mouth slightly open and eyes blinking repeatedly. “Appa, listen to me,” he tries, his throat sounding clogged. Taehyung’s heart clenches painfully.

“Hello? Appa? Are you there?” he frowns and checks his phone before grunting and throwing it away. It bounces off of Taehyung’s couch and falls on his carpet.

“Jeongguk?” he asks after a couple of seconds pass by in silence. The racer still has his head down with his fists clenched tightly. Taehyung can hear his heavy breathing as he approaches him and he’s getting more worried each step he takes. “Jeonggukie? Is everything alright?”

“—drink.” Jeongguk mutters something under his breath, something Taehyung doesn’t quite catch.

“What?”

“I need a drink,” Jeongguk repeats, voice eerily calm for someone who just had a stressful conversation with his father. 

Taehyung blinks in confusion. “Uh— I’ll get you a drink but Jeonggukie— is everything alright with your appa?”

Jeongguk looks up at him and Taehyung’s breath hitches upon seeing his moist, bloodshot eyes. “No, nothing is alright,” he breathes out, struggling to keep his tone even. His hand shakes as he cards it through his hair and Taehyung feels his heart thump faster against his ribcage. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks him as timidly as he can, afraid that he’d set him off by saying the wrong thing. 

Jeongguk shakes his head, breathing a little too hard. “Not really. Not before I grab something to drink.”

Taehyung purses his lips as he watches Jeongguk walk towards him. He doesn’t think a drink will solve anything right now but he doesn’t know how to convince Jeongguk to calm down first. “Do you have alcohol at home? I’ll take anything. I just need to calm down.”

He shakes his head. “You know I’m not very fond of drinking at home.” He gestures towards the sofa. “There are other ways you can calm down, just have a seat.”

Jeongguk shakes his head vehemently, face turning redder each passing second. “No, you don’t understand, Taehyung.” He takes in a shuddering breath. 

“Then make me understand,” he soothes, taking a hesitant step towards him. “Talk to me, Jeongguk. Alcohol will never be the solution.”

Jeongguk lets out a cold chuckle which sends a shiver down his spine. Beads of sweat line his forehead and Taehyung’s never seen Jeongguk in this state before, not even in their worst arguments. “Yeah, yeah, alcohol is bad,” he waves his hand dismissively. His face suddenly changes. “I think I saw a bottle of gin lying in your cabinets somewhere.” He starts walking towards the kitchen only to be stopped by Taehyung.

“I threw that bottle away a week ago,” he interrupts, but doesn’t know if his action is a curse or a blessing.

“Fuck,” Jeongguk breaths out, rubbing his hands over his face. He feels his jeans pockets for his keys. “I’m going out to buy something, I’ll be back soon.”

He starts towards the main door but Taehyung immediately blocks it, crossing his arms over his chest. Jeongguk’s face sours. “No, you’re not. There’s no way I’m letting you drive while you’re like this.”

“Like what?” Jeongguk’s fists curl at his side. “I’m feeling perfectly fine. I’ll just grab a bottle and be right back.”

Taehyung feels his heart is about to burst out of his chest. “No, Jeongguk. You’re unable to breathe properly and you can’t stop shaking. You are in no condition to drive.” His eyes soften. “Please. Let’s talk first.”

He sees Jeongguk’s eyes narrow. “I’m a fucking racer , Taehyung. Driving in high pressure situations is literally my job so if I can’t even manage a drive to the damn liquor store, I’m a disappointment, just like my father says.”

A knot forms in Taehyung’s stomach. How can his father just say these things to Jeongguk so casually, without thinking of the impact it might have on his confidence and mental health? Does his father think it helps him work harder? When Jeongguk is already giving his 200%?

“But you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone,” Taehyung reassures, a lump in his throat. “Your team knows how talented you are, Hoseok hyung knows how hard you work, I know you’re more than good, you’re amazing. So if you could just believe—”

“What would you know?” Jeongguk suddenly yells, making Taehyung flinch. “You know nothing about this sport. You don’t even know when the fucking race ends! My father on the other hand, holds the title for the highest number of first place rankings in Ferarri to this date , despite his short career. Who should I believe more?” His eyes are fully watery now and he looks like he’s about to explode any second now. There’s desperation in there; desperation that somehow his all knowledgeable father is wrong once in his life and he isn’t lacking as much as he tells him he is. “Just move aside and let me go.”

Taehyung feels the familiar burning sensation behind his eyelids too. He doesn’t know how to convince Jeongguk anything; whether to stay or that he’s so much more than his father makes him out to be. That he can’t solve everything with a bottle in hand or that he has a genuine problem that needs to be talked with a professional. 

He takes a shaky breath. “You’re right. I don’t know anything about F1 or racing. But what I do know is that you’re not okay right now and there’s no chance in hell I’m letting you endanger yourself like this. Your life might not mean anything to you but it means so much to me. You mean so much to me.” He hopes his gaze is determined when he says, “So I’m not letting you go, you hear me? I’m not letting you go, ever .”

Even the thought of Jeongguk getting hurt sends Taehyung’s heart plummeting. Jeongguk truly means a lot to him now and he doesn’t know if he can imagine a life without him anymore. The realisation dawns on him all of a sudden. How important Jeongguk has become to him over the course of these past few months, how feelings of friendship have developed deeper into something he can’t quite put his finger on yet. 

But before he can dwell on it any further, Jeongguk finally breaks down with a sob and falls to his knees. A tear drops out of Taehyung’s eye as his cries fill the room after holding them in for who knows how long. He slowly kneels down and joins the younger on the floor, gently wrapping his arms around his shaking body.

“Shh,” Taehyung pulls him closer and rubs his hands down Jeongguk’s back. Jeongguk immediately latches onto him, wrapping his arms around Taehyung’s waist and burying his face in his abdomen. “Everything is going to be alright.”

“No,” Jeongguk mumbles. “Appa said I should be working harder.”

Is he batshit insane? is what Taehyung wanted to yell, but he holds himself back. That is probably the last thing Jeongguk wants to hear right now and he shouldn’t disrespect his father no matter how much he doesn’t understand his parenting style. It’s not like he has a perfect father either. “I don’t quite agree but now’s not the time to discuss it. First I need you to calm down.”

It takes a while for Jeongguk’s harsh sobs to turn into soft cries, until after about thirty minutes of crying on the floor, he seems to have collected himself a bit.

Taehyung gently scrapes his manicured nails on Jeongguk’s damp scalp, only the sounds of his breaths and Jeongguk’s sniffles interrupting the quiet. Only after the racer finally takes his face out of its hiding place and places his head on Taehyung’s lap does he speak. “Are you better now, Jeonggukie?”

Jeongguk skirts his gaze away but nods and it’s a heartbreaking reminder that he is still so young, having just entered his twenties, but already has so much responsibility on his shoulders. It reminds Taehyung that he too was young when he left his home and was suddenly thrust into the real world after living a cushioned life since birth. Yoongi wasn’t as successful back then so they both had to share a one bedroom apartment. Still, Yoongi didn’t let him pay for anything and he was almost considering a part-time job when he introduced him to Seokjin. The thought that he and Jeongguk had been fighting like cats and dogs for years when they were both going through similar situations makes him smile.

Jeongguk catches it before he can change his expression. “And what’s so funny?”

Taehyung quickly sobers up and shakes his head. “Nothing, you’re just cute.”

“Shut up,” he complains, tone almost bordering on a whine. Pink dusts his cheeks and it just makes him look cuter.

Fuck, what’s happening to him?

“Why do you think my father still believes I’m not good enough even though I work so hard?” Jeongguk suddenly asks, his voice thick with tears. 

Taehyung’s hand stops in his hair, chest suddenly tighter. “I don’t think he believes that. I think it’s just his way of motivating you, however twisted it seems. Doesn’t mean that it’s right in any way, though.” He resumes his earlier action. “Maybe you should talk to him, you know. Tell him how you feel about his methods.”

“Hobi hyung told me to do the same,” he sighs, “but I don’t know. Maybe what he’s saying is right, even though his way of saying it isn’t the best. I mean, the Italian Grand Prix is in exactly one week and I’m leaving for it in two days. But here I am with you, watching movies and eating pizza when I should be practising.”

“Jeon Jeongguk! Have you forgotten you have been training since five in the morning today? How much more can you train?” Taehyung chides, gently smacking the head on his lap. “Hobi hyung was the one who threw you out of the academy, saying you needed rest or you’ll collapse. Why is this one particular Grand Prix so important anyway?” 

“It’s the Italian Grand Prix and since I’m representing Ferrari, this particular GP means a lot to them since well— it was founded and still has its HQ in Italy.” He explains with a sigh. “Their reputation is at stake, I guess. For the past decade or so Ferrari has never come first in this GP so they’re really grilling Matteo and I about it.”

Taehyung raises his eyebrows. “They want you to come first?”

“Yup. And since I already came second in one of my other GPs, my father thinks I can easily do it with a lot of practice. I don’t understand what a lot is for him, though.” He shrugs.

Taehyung hums, and the conversation fizzles out after that. Jeongguk’s stomach makes a growling noise and it reminds him that they still haven’t eaten their pizza which must be cold by now. His butt has started to hurt too but there’s still one more thing he wants to talk about with Jeongguk. Something he isn’t sure how to approach.

“Jeonggukie,” he starts, hesitant. “I have a question.”

Jeongguk hums, tracing patterns on Taehyung’s bare thigh. He curbs the urge to shiver. “Why— why were you so adamant in wanting a drink when you heard the news?” 

Great job, Taehyung. Is this really how you want to approach the topic?

The finger on his thigh stops. Jeongguk doesn’t speak for a few seconds and Taehyung is almost sure he isn’t going to talk about it. “You already know, don’t you?”

He isn’t sure. He has an inkling but doesn’t know if he’s just jumping to the worst conclusions. But there aren’t many other explanations for Jeongguk's problem. “It doesn’t matter if I know or not. What matters is that you do and you’re honest to yourself about it.”

The next few moments pass by in silence and Taehyung gives Jeongguk all the time he needs. Jeongguk’s sniffs soon fill the room again. “I’m scared,” he admits, voice timid like a child.

Taehyun gently scratches on his nape to soothe him. “I know. And it’s completely normal to be. We don’t have to talk about it right now if it’s too pressurising.”

Jeongguk goes quiet again. Taehyung can’t imagine how it must be, trying to admit one of your biggest problems when you strive for perfection every day like Jeongguk does. Is he the right person to talk about this, even? Maybe Jeongguk should talk to Namjoon or Hoseok instead. They’ve known him for years now and they seem much more knowledgeable than he is about everything. 

“I might have a drinking problem,” Jeongguk suddenly blurts out, slightly startling him. Taehyung gives him an encouraging nod. “I can’t– I can’t say that word yet.”

“You don’t have to, hmm?” Taehyung pats his back. “This is a good start, Jeonggukie. All you need now is to talk to your appa and find someone professional to talk to—”

“No!” Jeongguk yells, springing from Taehyung’s lap. He starts shaking his head wildly. “I can’t tell my appa, are you crazy? I can’t tell anyone ! Wh– what if the media finds out? What if my management gets to know and they fire me?” His breathing starts getting shallow again and Taehyung fears he might have another attack. “This is my first time competing in F1, first time actually living the dream I’ve dreamt of since I was seven. I can’t let this go just because I can’t control myself!”

“I’m not suggesting that at all,” Taehyung squeezes his thigh. “But you do need to inform your father, Hoseok or Namjoon about this at least. They can help you get in touch with a therapist who will give you all the help you need. You don’t need to quit anything.”

“No, you don’t know that. My father might tell me to stop racing until I get my shit together. And if even one pap gets a whiff of me going to therapy for alcohol issues, it will end my career just as it started. Have you ever heard of an alcoholic F1 driver?” He covers his face with his palms. “My reputation is already in the dumps. I think there was already one article that suspected I had trouble controlling my drinking. I don’t want anything to happen right now, not in the middle of the championship.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows knot. On one hand, he understands where Jeongguk is coming from but on the other, he knows he can’t just go on pretending nothing is wrong. “But you have to do something about the issue. You can’t just ignore it until it goes away, you know?”

“I know,” Jeongguk agrees. “But only after the championship is over and I won’t have any spotlight on me, at least temporarily. We’d be broken up too by then and I’d have a lot of time to focus on myself.”

Taehyung isn’t convinced and it must’ve shown on his face because Jeongguk continues with, “It’s just another six months, Tae. I promise I’ll control myself as much as I can and try not to drink at all. Y–you can also help me when we’re together and I just— please, Tae. I can’t lose everything right now.”

Taehyung’s heart breaks at the desperation in his eyes. He knows it’s not the right thing to do; addiction isn’t solved by a simple I’ll try but what else can he do? Jeongguk’s state is very vulnerable right now and knowing how stubborn he is , he’s never going to agree to going to therapy with that fear in his mind. He’s pretty much in a fix right now, unable to think of something to help Jeongguk out. 

“As long as you’re not a danger to yourself or anyone else,” he gives in. Jeongguk’s lips spread into a huge smile before he engulfs him in a hug.

I have to do something, he muses to himself as he kisses the side of Jeongguk’s head. Jeongguk cannot keep suffering in silence for the next six months like this. Taehyung might only be his friend but he cares about Jeongguk. A lot. He has to come up with a solution that the younger can’t say no to, and quickly .

♬♬♬

Taehyung’s mind is running in overdrive.

The incident from two days ago has been flashing in front of his eyes every waking second. Jeongguk’s bloodshot eyes, his uneven breaths, his panicked voice all haunt him constantly and he hasn’t been able to sleep much ever since Jeongguk left his house in the morning. The two spent the night talking about everything; the conversation stemming first from his struggles with self-esteem to how Taehyung slowly got used to living without his parents. Talking to Jeongguk has always felt different. At first, it was about sharing your thoughts and emotions with someone who couldn’t judge you for having them, not when he hated you for less just a few months prior. But now, talking to him feels like warmth. It feels like there’s finally someone out there who understands what he’s going through. No matter how many times Jimin complains about his overbearing parents or Seokjin vents about some argument he had with his father, they will never truly understand how Taehyung feels. Sure, they’ll console him and cuddle him and give him really good advice from time to time but somehow only Jeongguk truly understands what he’s going through. The feeling that your parents don’t truly know you. Or how frustrating it is when they want to fit you into the standards set by the environment they grew up in. How they’ll never truly understand you or what you want, no matter how much they try.

Everytime Taehyung thinks of what happened, his heart starts thudding uncontrollably and warmth engulfs his face. Jeongguk breaking his walls down in front of him felt like a big step in their relationship and it definitely felt like something shifted between the two of them when Jeongguk left a lingering kiss on his forehead before leaving his apartment.

“What’s going on in that handsome head of yours, hmm?”

His mother’s voice brings him back to his old bedroom, where he now lies with his head on her lap. The hearty dinner he had an hour ago still fills his tummy and he should’ve left when his grandmother went to bed after taking his meds but he just wanted to take a peek at his bedroom, see if it was just the way it was after he left or if his stuff was locked away in some trunk, erasing his 19 year presence from this space. He doesn’t remember when he lay down on his bed or when his mother joined him.

“You were so silent I thought you must’ve dozed off.”

“I just might,” he chuckles, stretching like a cat. “It’s been years since I’ve slept on your lap.” A mixture of nostalgia and sadness hits his tone. His mother must’ve noticed because he feels her stiffen underneath him. 

“You know you can sleep over anytime, right? You’re always welcome here.”

“Am I?” he snaps involuntarily, the wounds made by his father not too long ago still fresh as ever. “I guess I must have misunderstood appa’s words back then.”

His mother sighs and shakes her head. “I’m not saying that, Taehyung-ah. Your father might not want you here but you know your grandmother and I don’t feel the same. You can stay here as long as you want and your father won’t be able to say a thing, I promise you that.”

Isn’t it a bit too late to make that promise, eomma?

“It’s alright,” he rubs his eyes tiredly. He might actually fall asleep here, with how scarce his rest has been. “I don’t want to cause any more rift in the family, not more than I already have. Has the whole thing with halmeoni and appa sorted out?”

“Not even close,” his mother sounds utterly dejected while replying. “They haven’t spoken to each other ever since she woke up in the hospital and neither of them are interested in changing that. Your halmeoni is too angry and your appa is too egoistic. Seeing them like this sickens me, especially knowing how your grandmother is already suffering so much. I just don’t know what to do, I feel so helpless.”

Guilt pierces through Taehyung’s insides. You did this. You’re making your family suffer.

He takes a deep breath to stop his throat from closing up. “I’m sorry, eomma,” he says quietly, hoping she doesn’t sense the pain in his voice. “This is all my fault. I should’ve never come to dinner knowing how appa feels about me.”

He gets a smack to his head in reply.

“Ow!” he yells out, half in pain and half in surprise. “What was that for?”

“This isn’t your fault by any means. Never feel like you shouldn’t be here for any reason. We may be going through a rough patch right now, but we’re always going to be a family and we all love you. You understand?”

Taehyung doesn’t think his father harbours any pleasant emotions for him anymore but he still nods. His mother can be quite scary while using her courtroom voice.

She gives him a smile before ruffling his hair fondly. “Speaking of love, how’s our Jeonggukie? Does he have a race this weekend?”

Taehyung’s heart skips a beat at the mention of his fiancé. 

Fake fiancé, Taehyung , his brain unhelpfully reminds him. Taehyung almost scoffs at it. Everyone makes these silly mistakes once in a while. His brain doesn’t have to act so bitchy about it.

“Gukkie’s extremely stressed,” he replies, letting out a breath. “He has a Grand Prix next weekend in Italy and since he’s representing Ferrari, he’s been under a lot of pressure for his team management and trainers. He had a three week break from his races but he spent all of his days at his training centre.”

His mother clicks her tongue. “That poor boy.”

Taehyung nods. “He’s been working so hard, I barely see or talk to him anymore. He’s putting way too much effort and it’s scaring me. His trainer told me he even skipped lunch two days ago. You know how talented he is on the tracks. Is there a need to endanger both his health and performance?” He sits up and groans frustratedly. “And when I try to tell him he’s always waving me off or reassuring me that it’s not a big deal and that You’ve stayed up multiple nights composing so what’s the difference, really? ” He huffs, shaking his head. “But that’s not the same! Don’t you agree, eomma?”

He turns to his mother after his angry rant and finds her surprisingly smiling. “What?” he asks her, slightly irritated. “What’s so funny?”

“My my, look at you all concerned for Jeongguk’s well-being! You never worried about any of your previous boyfriends like this, you know that?” She has a fond look on her face as she says it and Taehyung’s stomach flutters at her words. Was his worry really worth mentioning? How is it any different than when he’s concerned about his other friends?

“Well, he is my fiancé , eomma. Of course I’m going to be more worried about him. Plus, none of my ex-boyfriends were overachieving F1 drivers so this is all new to me.”

She nods her head with a laugh. “I know there’s a difference. It’s just really nice to see you love someone this much.”

Warmth engulfs Taehyung’ face immediately, turning it into a cherry colour. Love? But Taehyung wasn’t pretending while talking about Jeongguk’s stress. Was he? Has his body automatically started to get into the love-sick fiancé role everytime he thinks about the racer?

“Yeah, yeah. Now stop embarrassing me.” His face is getting redder by the second and he might explode from all the blood rushing to his face. He runs a hand through his hair. “I genuinely don’t know what to do. He’s leaving for Italy early tomorrow morning but he’s probably still training.”

His mother thinks about it for a moment. “Well, it seems like he’s very nervous about his performance this weekend. All he needs is a little support from a loved one.” 

Taehyung is about to say his father is going to be there but after knowing their history, he isn’t sure that’s the kind of cheering he needs at that moment. He raises his eyebrows at her pointed look. “What? You want me to go there?”

She folds her arms. “Why not? You’re clearly going to be restless the entire time so why not just go there and support him in person? You know, make sure he’s eating and sleeping well. Give him a nice little surprise.” 

Taehyung hesitates. He doesn’t know one thing about Jeongguk’s racing schedule or if he even wants him there. What if Jeongguk thinks he’s a disturbance or a distraction and gets upset with him? “I don’t know eomma. He’ll be really busy there and I have to prepare for my album as well—“

His mother interrupts him with a smack on his arm. “Your fiancé has one of the most important races of his life soon and you should be there! You’ve been working so hard for your album too these days and you deserve rest too. You can work while he’s training. Think of it like a vacation.” Her face lights up. “I just got an idea. What if we kill two birds with one stone and solve both of our problems at the same time?”

Taehyung has a horrible feeling about this. “And how are we going to do that?”

“Let’s make it a family vacation! All of us will go to support Jeongguk; he is a part of our family after all, and we can try patching things up between your dad and your grandmother in the meantime!”

Blood drains from Taehyung’s face. His family and him with Jeongguk under one roof for six whole days? 

“But— but what about everyone’s jobs and can halmeoni even fly due to her health? We don’t want to risk her well-being for some silly vacation,” he tries protesting but seeing the look on his mother’s face he knows even God can’t change her mind now.

She waves him off, just as expected. “We can easily take leaves from work and I’m going to check with Halmeoni’s doctor right now.” Her phone is already in her hand before Taehyung can part his lips and he sighs when she leaves the room to call Dr. Kang.

This is going to be a nightmare, Taehyung already knows it. He shivers thinking about how difficult it was to pretend to be a couple for just one family dinner. And while he and Jeongguk have gotten much better at this whole thing, he doesn’t know if they can survive almost an entire week of pretending. He’s almost praying for the doctor to refuse by the time his mother comes back to his room. 

Seeing her happy face, he knows his praying is of no use.

“The doctor said yes! He just asked me to bring halmeoni for one small check up before we leave and will assign a nurse to accompany us during the whole trip in case of some unforeseen situation.” He grabs his hand and gives it a squeeze. “I know you must’ve wanted some quality time alone with Jeongguk and I promise we’ll give you two that. It’s just…your halmeoni doesn’t have much time left and I just want all of us to have good memories with her before her condition worsens and give her one last vacation with her family.”

Taehyung’s eyes tear up. How could he have been so selfish, only thinking about him and his arrangement with Jeongguk when this is supposed to be Halmeoni’s final vacation? A last chance for her to spend time with her loved ones. He shakes his head with a smile. “I would love nothing more than to have fun with the whole family. Let’s go to Italy, eomma.”

Chapter Text

“Sweetheart, wake up.” 

Taehyung feels himself being shaken awake by someone next to him. Sleep on planes never came easy to him and he groans as he’s transported back to real life. Blinking his bleary, tired eyes, he smiles at his grandmother sitting beside him and stretches like a cat despite the pounding headache beginning to form. 

“Did you sleep well?” his grandmother asks, running a hand through his messed-up hair. 

He hums in reply, not fully conscious enough to reply yet. He lets out a little yawn and stares out of his window, eyes widening at the sight before him. Streaks of orange line the sky before him, the colour deepening closer to the horizon. The sun is still hidden and the sky is a beautiful amalgamation of orange, pink, and blue, something Taehyung had never seen before. He lets out a little gasp of awe and his grandmother oohs and aahs along with him.

“Well, this is a wonderful welcome from Milan, don’t you think?” She coos, nudging his shoulder. 

“Yes. I’m so excited to explore the city, halemoni,” Taehyung replies, almost bouncing on the seat in excitement. 

“Excited to see the city or your beloved fiance?” his mother’s voice pops up from behind and Taehyung rolls his eyes. 

“I saw him two days ago!”

“And? When I married your father, he couldn’t stay even an hour away from me.” She turns to her husband next to her. “Isn’t that right, yeobo ?”

Taehyung’s father furrows his eyebrows. “Well, that’s not entirely true—”

“Old age has ruined your memory, my dear,” his wife interrupts with a glare.

Taehyung sees his father clamp his mouth shut at her expression, something that is hilarious to him, given how scary and authoritative his father actually is. The thought that his all-powerful abeoji still quivers in front of his wife is so funny to Taehyung that he can’t stop the chuckle from escaping his mouth. His father’s gaze flicks to him for a millisecond before turning to his wife and Taehyung feels his gut twist, his smile immediately fading away. There was a time that his father would’ve laughed with him and they both would’ve teased their mother some more together. He hasn’t forgiven his father for what happened that night but he still misses this. This feeling of joking around, being together as a family. 

He wonders when it’ll stop hurting, if it ever will.

“As I was saying,” his mother continues with a glare now directed towards him, “even though it’s just been two days, you’re bound to miss each other. You two are young, still in the honeymoon phase. Of course you can’t go hours without each other.”

Taehyung just laughs again and shakes his head, hoping she’ll drop the topic. How could he explain to his mother that he and Jeongguk aren’t in a honeymoon phase in any way but in a we’re just friends but what the fuck is this feeling every time I see him phase. 

Whatever. His mother doesn’t have to know a thing. They’re only staying in Italy until Monday morning so it’s just a matter of 6 days, tops. He and Jeongguk can easily pretend for that long, especially since he’ll be busy practising most of the time. Jeongguk can say he’s exhausted every night and retire early from the festivities. There’s no reason for them to panic, really. Nothing is going to happen.

“Are you excited to see him race in person for the first time?” his grandmother nudges him again, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah! I’m afraid I won’t understand a thing but I can’t wait to watch him win.”

It’ll be satisfying to finally see that victorious grin on Jeongguk’s face when he’s handed that trophy after all the work he put into training and preparing. 

“Oh? Are you so sure that he’ll win?” his brother asks him while coming from the back row. 

“Of course!” Taehyung exclaims, pride plastered on his face. “He’s my fiancé. I don’t agree to marry losers.”

His entire family laughs and the sound warms his heart entirely. It's getting scary, how easily the word fiancé and marry falls out of his mouth these days. It’s like he’s getting too used to this fake arrangement and keeps forgetting that this will all end in a few months. He should stop gloating about Jeongguk and start thinking about what he’s telling his family in December after their public break up. It won’t end well, that’s for sure, so Taehyung better get a solid story ready lest he becomes more of an outcast amongst them. 

He stays silent for the remainder of their flight, a heavy feeling of dread weighing him down. Even the stunning aerial view of Milan as they landed couldn’t manage to cheer him up. His grandmother must’ve noticed his sudden mood change because she keeps sending him worried glances but thankfully doesn’t ask him about it. 

Taehyung doesn’t know what he would reply even if she did.

Their flight lands in Milan’s Malpensa Airport in the next 20 minutes. The city looked gorgeous from above, bathed in orange, and Taehyung could not wait to sightsee it. Usually, he would go with his grandmother on his family vacations, but now that she’s advised not to stress herself he thinks he’ll be wandering the city alone this time. 

The thought sends a painful arrow piercing through his heart. Soon, sightseeing won’t be the only thing Taehyung has to do without his grandmother. Everything is changing way too fast and he despises it. 

“Taehyung–ah, it’s your turn now,” his mother reminds him, pointing to his passport. He buries his morbid thoughts at the back of his mind and scans his passport before going through the immigration gate.

After completing some additional formalities, arranging a wheelchair for his grandmother and their bags being picked up by their bodyguards, the Kim family sets out towards the fancy cars waiting for them right outside the Arrivals gate. Taehyung dons a cap, a mask and a pair of sunglasses just like the rest of his family hoping that their identities stay hidden. He doesn’t want the paps to trouble them while his grandmother is with him and he doesn’t want Jeongguk to know he’s in Italy yet. He’s still thinking of an explanation as to why he is here with his entire family to cheer for him when Jeongguk has never asked him to do so. Even though one of his clauses was that Taehyung had to come to one or two of his races, he’d said coming to his academy and meeting his team was more than enough. 

The ride to the hotel isn’t short but Taehyung had his face plastered to the window the whole time, taking in the city passing by. The sun rose by the time they got out of the airport and now he can see the shops slowly opening and a few pedestrians and cars here and there, starting their days. The air is warm, not too humid, but bearable enough that Taehyung doesn’t feel like dying without AC. At least for this time of the day. He’s heard the heat gets deadly towards the afternoon.

The car comes to a halt just as he’s about to doze off on his mother’s shoulder. He blinks the sleep out of his eyes and walks through the grand front door of the hotel into an even grander lobby, already bustling despite the early hour. Taehyung wheels his grandmother towards one of their sofas and huffs tiredly as he takes a seat next to Minji carrying a sleeping Heechan. He feels jealous of the little boy.

“The things you do for love,” his grandmother says in a dramatic fashion, making him giggle. 

Love? They do this for their reputation. For fame. Disgusting.

“I’m sure Jeongguk will be happy to see you cheer for him, baby bear.”

Taehyung really hopes he isn’t barging in here like some uninvited guest. While he knows Jeongguk will never outright shoo him away, he might not be too happy about his presence, knowing how serious Jeongguk gets during his GP weeks. The last thing he’d want is Taehyung and his whole ass family asking a million questions and stressing the poor guy out even more. 

“Eomma,” his father interrupts them before he can reply. He watches his grandmother stiffen for a second before she turns her gaze elsewhere. His father sighs but doesn’t react. “Eomma, would you like to come down with us for the breakfast buffet or would you like it to be delivered to your room?”

His grandmother stays silent like a petulant child. His father lets out another sigh. “Halmeoni,” Taehyung whispers, sensing the slow-building tension between them. “Appa is asking you something.”

He flashes Minji a look, who looks equally uncomfortable at the interaction. He wants to get out of here immediately.

“Tell your father that I’ll be joining you all for breakfast in the restaurant.”

Taehyung closes his eyes in irritation before replying. While he appreciates his grandmother standing up for him, this petty behaviour of hers is creating more problems for him rather than solving any. “Appa, Halmeoni said—”

“I heard what she said,” he replies gruffly before storming away, clearly done with him, the atmosphere, or his grandmother’s behaviour. He isn’t really sure.

Taehyung clicks his tongue disappointingly. “Halmeoni, you—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she replies stubbornly. She might actually be five seconds away from stomping her foot and throwing a fit. “I will not speak to your father and that’s final. No person who speaks to my darling like that will be tolerated.”

Taehyung’s body warms up completely and his heart fills up with so much fondness he thinks it could burst. He gives her a little smile and holds her folded hands. “Halemoni, while I’m glad that you’re standing up for me, I don’t think avoiding appa is going to achieve anything. I’m upset about what happened too but we’re on vacation to have fun, aren’t we?”

His grandmother frowns at him. “I am having fun.”

Taehyung lets out a breath, ready to launch into another long rant about love and family and togetherness when the rest of the family approaches them. He decides to save it for later.  “Eomma, here’s the key to your suite. I’m giving another copy to Ahnjong-ssi in case you lose or forget them somewhere,” his mother says, holding out the card to her.

His grandmother takes it from her a little too harshly. “I have cancer, not Alzheimer's. I can take care of a little keycard,” she almost snaps at her daughter-in-law. Taehyung almost flinches at her tone. Yikes. 

Yeri opens her mouth but closes it right after. She sends Taehyung an eyebrow raise but he subtly shakes his head. His mother understands and doesn’t react further. She steps back and lets her husband take over. 

“We’ll be in adjacent suites, with eomma in suite 102, Yeri and I in suite 103 and Taeho, Minji, and Heechan in suite 101,” he nods at the family of three. Taeho hands his wife the keycard and takes their son in his arms. She smiles at him gratefully.

Taehyung too smiles at the exchange until he realises he hasn’t been assigned a suite yet. “Uh…” he speaks, hoping he’s not demoted to a regular room or something, “which suite is mine?”

All of his family members give him identical looks of confusion. Wait a minute. They did book a suite for him too, right? Or is he really not a part of the family anymore and had to book his own accommodation? His family wouldn’t do that to him, right? Right ?

Taehyung’s mother blinks at him. “Well, we didn’t book one for you,” she says and Taehyung's stomach drops to his knees. Fuck, is he truly out of the family for good? Why would his mother tell him otherwise just two days ago, then? Why invite him to this fuckass family vacation when he isn’t considered that anymore? Do they enjoy watching him suffer or something? 

Taeho, who’s always been great at reading expressions, must have seen the dread on his face and comes to his rescue. “Well, we just assumed you’d be staying with Jeongguk.”  

Jeongguk? Why would he stay with Jeongguk when his family is right here? 

“We just thought you’d want to spend more time with him, you know. Since you haven’t seen him much last week and we’re already hogging what was supposed to be a pre-honeymoon for you two,” Minji explains, sensing his confusion.

Pre-honeymoon. Fiance. Jeongguk .

Fuck, how could he forget? Of course his family wouldn’t think he’d stay with them. Shit, shit, shit. He doesn’t even know which hotel Jeongguk is staying in, let alone his room number. He cannot believe he didn’t think of such a crucial detail. It’s only the beginning and he’s already fucking up their game of pretend.

“We booked this hotel specifically because Jeongguk is staying here as well,” his mother says. He tries not to leave his mouth hanging. How the fuck did his parents even find that information? “Do you want us to book a separate suite for you, Taehyung-ah?” She takes a pause before asking as if to ask, is everything okay between you and Jeongguk?

“No, of course not!” Taehyung shakes his head wildly. “I just forgot Jeongguk is here too for a second,” he plays it off by laughing, hoping his family is tired enough to buy his bullshit. “Obviously I’ll sleep with him,” he hears himself and cringes at how it sounds. “Not sleep sleep with him but— not that we don’t sleep with—” He clamps his mouth shut, realising he’s just digging a bigger hole for himself. His mother and father look uncomfortable, his grandmother’s expression is confused and Minji and Taeho look five seconds away from bursting into laughter. “What I mean is, no suite booking for me. I’m just going to stay with my fiance, who I dearly love.”

“Is everything alright, Taehyung?” Taeho asks him, barely hiding his grin. That bastard.

“Perfect,” he smiles back, tight-lipped. “I’m just a tad bit exhausted from the flight.” 

Taeho opens his mouth to tease him further but thankfully, his mother comes to his rescue. “You can rest in your room after breakfast. Just tell me what room or suite you’re staying in, your bags have to be delivered.”

Fuck. This whole plan was so spontaneous that he didn’t even get to tell Jeongguk he was going to be in Italy, let alone ask for his room number. 

“It’s just one bag, eomma. There’s no need for any delivery, I’ll take it with me.” He glances at the pile of bags with a bellboy standing next to them patiently. He grabs his own and smiles at them. “I really have to pee right now so I’ll get going. See you at breakfast!”

He doesn’t even wait for a reply before running to the nearest toilet, face palming himself as soon as the door closes behind him. 

He couldn’t have handled the situation any worse. Couldn’t he have asked Jeongguk about his room number beforehand? He hates his disorganised self. Thank god things didn’t get any worse with his bumbling. 

He unlocks his phone and searches for Namjoon’s contact in his phone. Praying to the universe that he picks up, he bites his nails while it rings. 

“Taehyung? Hey,” Namjoon’s sweet voice greets him, calming his frazzled state down a bit.

“Hey, Namjoon hyung. Are you busy right now?”

Namjoon hums. “Not really, I’m just arranging Jeongguk’s interviews for this week. Did you need something?”

“Yes, actually.” He looks at himself in the mirror and is shocked by how tired he looks. He can’t meet Jeongguk looking like this. A beauty nap is desperately needed. Or at least some time underneath the makeup chair. Wait. Since when does he care how he looks in front of Jeongguk?

“I wanted to know which room Jeongguk was staying in.” He hopes he doesn’t come off as a creep. He and Namjoon like each other and he’d like it to stay that way. 

“And why is that, if I may ask? Is everything okay?”

Taehyung hesitates, not knowing how to go about this exactly. “Yeah, everything’s fine! I’m just— I’m in Milan right now so I was wondering—”

“You’re in Milan…right now? As in, where Jeongguk’s race is being held this weekend?” He can sense the smile in Namjoon’s voice. “Does Jeongguk know about this?”

“No, he doesn’t. It’s kind of a surprise. He was really nervous about this week’s GP so I thought…” Taehyung trails off, hoping the manager can fill in the blanks himself. His face feels warm and his heart won’t stop pounding. 

“That’s so sweet of you, Taehyung-ah. I’m sure Jeongguk will be happy to see you here.”

“Will he?” he immediately asks. He’d been so worried about Jeongguk being mad at him for coming here unannounced that the opposite just sounded so impossible. “Won’t I be a distraction for him?”

Namjoon laughs. “You are a distraction for him, but not the one he minds.”

Before Taehyung can ask what the fuck he means, he continues, “He’s in suite 204. There are two buildings in the hotel where Jeongguk is staying, you just have to enter through gate B. Let me call the reception to let them know about your arrival. I’ll send you the address in a second.”

Taehyung is about to tell him that there’s no need since he’s already standing in the lobby but he’d definitely sound creepy if he does. Instead, he just thanks him.

“By the way, why do you need to stay in Jeongguk’s room? Weren’t you able to book a room at such short notice?” Namjoon asks him and Taehyung can hear typing sounds in the background.

“No, that’s not the case.” He needs to clear things up before Namjoon thinks he wants to stay in Jeongguk’s room. On purpose.

It’s not a thought Taehyung would hate, if he’s being hone—

Shut up, Taehyung.

“I didn’t come to Italy alone. My entire family is here with me, actually.” He lets out a sigh. The embarrassment begins to build, singeing deep into his core. 

Namjoon pauses for a few moments before replying. “Oh. Wow. That’s— that’s great! Your whole family coming to support Jeongguk is going to make him so happy, I’m sure.”

Or put so much pressure on him it’ll end their friendship. But, you know, it’s fine. It’s totally chill.  

“So I need to stay with Jeongguk otherwise it’d be weird, I don’t know.”

“No, no, that makes sense,” Namjoon says understandingly. “It would be weird if two engaged people didn’t live together.”

Taehyung hums. All of a sudden he’s exhausted, unable to form a single thought. He desperately needs a shower and a fat nap and to not think. For the entire day, his brain has been running on overdrive and all Taehyung wants is to be distracted so well, he forgets all about today. 

“Alright hyung, I’ll see you soon. I need to rest now.”

“Of course, Tae. I’m in the same hotel, come to my room if you’re bored while waiting for Jeongguk. It’s room 503.”

Taehyung wants to ask what time he’ll be back from practice but Namjoon cuts the call before he can.

Sighing, he takes a look around and spots the big A written next to the gate his family entered through. He asks one of the staff members the way and drags his bag to gate B, which is thankfully a short distance, despite being on the other side of the hotel.

After receiving an extra keycard from the reception, he takes the lift up to the top level where all the suites are. He stares across the hallway and sees that the suites starting with 1- are separated from the ones starting with 2- by the three lifts one side and a huge mirror and desk with a flower pot on the other side. At least they’ll be away from his family.

He enters the suite and gasps. It’s massive, bigger than the suites he’d stayed in all his life. A beautiful living room with a huge home theatre sits against one wall, a sofa set facing it. There’s a small kitchen on the other side of the room with a small dining table for four, which he’s sure neither he nor Jeongguk will ever use. Maybe he can tell Jeongguk to cook something for him when he gets sick of eating the hotel food every day. One puppy-eyed stare and he’s sure the younger won’t be able to say no. A door in front of him leads to the huge bedroom, with a single king-sized bed. Another chair sits in front of a small desk and yet another TV hangs on the opposite wall. He sees another small door which he assumes leads to the bathroom and toilet. He really hopes there’s a bathtub in which he can relax later on. Everything is a soft cream, mixes of delicious soft browns in between to give the room a luxurious feel. Taehyung fears that if he breathes too hard, he might stain such a pristine place. 

He leaves his bag in the living room and decides to skip the shower and order some simple bread and omelette for breakfast, along with a glass of strawberry milkshake. He freshens up, changes into comfortable pyjamas and texts his brother that he’ll be taking a nap soon while he waits. After hearing the knock on his door he excitedly receives the food, eating it on the sofa while he watches whatever he can find interesting on the television. Putting away the dirty plates, he almost skips to the plushy, huge bed waiting for him.

He should be worrying about what he’s going to tell Jeongguk when he comes back but the tiredness in him overpowers every thought and sleep takes over before he can stop it.

♬♬♬

Taehyung wakes up with a start.

For a second, he forgets where he is, still half dreaming and half thinking he’s in his bed back in Korea. He blinks his bleary eyes and turns to his right side, expecting to see his bedside table and the Hello Kitty alarm clock sitting right on top of it. Upon seeing only a generic, unfamiliar lamp, he frowns sleepily before everything comes rushing back to him.

He instantly sits upright, shaking his head to get rid of the sleep fogging his head. What time is it? Is Jeongguk back?

He grabs his phone from under his pillow and stares at the flood of notifications from his family, his mother and grandmother asking him if he’s going to join them for lunch and a few from Taeho wondering if he’s alive.

Lunch? He missed lunch? How long was he asleep?

His eyes widen as he stares at the time. It’s currently nearing 6 p.m., which means he was asleep for five hours. It also means Jeongguk will be home any minute now, while he’s looking like a homeless intruder in his rumpled pyjamas, dried drool on the side of his face, and matted bed hair.

The thought is enough to spur him out of bed and run to the luxurious bathroom where he spots a bathtub fit for two right next to the shower. He pees while the bathtub fills up and grabs some presentable clothes that he can wear for dinner. Putting in some bath oils he found in the toiletries kit, he sighs as he steps into the warm water.

Now that he’s here and wide awake, he needs to think of something to tell Jeongguk when he’s here. What happens when the mere sight of him annoys Jeongguk? How will Taehyung tell him about the rest of his battalion? Will he get mad? Will he want nothing to do with Taehyung again? 

Maybe he’s overreacting. Jeongguk might actually be happy to see him here. It’s not like they hate each other anymore. They spend more time together than not these past couple of months and supported each other whenever needed so how different is it this time, really? Except this time, Taehyung has flown over 8,881 km just to cheer for Jeongguk. Completely unannounced. He might say it’s to keep up their charade but they both know this is too excessive. Perhaps that’s why he has been nervous about this whole thing all along. No matter how he spins it, Taehyung knows this is a bit much just to keep pretending as lovers. He could’ve easily said no to his mother, cooked up some excuse about being too busy at work. But the truth is, once he heard his mother telling him to go support Jeongguk in Italy, he couldn’t stop himself. He was very worried about the younger and knew that he wouldn’t be able to work, not after experiencing what happens when Jeongguk is under a lot of stress first-hand.

Taehyung is here because he wants to be here. Not for their fiances act, not for his mother and not for fame. Taehyung took a flight to another continent to support Jeongguk, to be there for him. Because he wanted to sit in the stands and watch Jeongguk win, even if there wasn’t a camera around to capture it. A myriad of emotions bubble up in him at the realisation. The steam around him stuffies the air and he needs to get out. He quickly washes up and gets out of the bathtub, staring at himself in the fogged-up mirror. Whatever. If Jeongguk doesn’t want him here, he’ll leave. Or just spend time with his family. No biggie. 

Whistling some tune Yoongi had sent him yesterday, he wraps a towel around his waist and takes a step into the bedroom. Both his feet and his mouth halt at the sight in front of him. Shock paralyses his body. 

Jeongguk stands in front of him with one of the lamps from the living room in his hand, raised and ready to attack. Their eyes widen simultaneously as they meet, both frozen in their spots. They stare at each other in silence for a few moments before Jeongguk gasps out, “Taehyung?”

“H-hey,” Taehyung replies, trying to smile but he’s sure he looks stunned. “What’s up?”

Great, Taehyung. Lovely . This is exactly how you talk to someone who you’ve surprised by appearing in their room after travelling for 13 hours and 20 minutes.

“What are you doing here?”

And there it is. The awkwardness, the confusion. He’s pretty sure Jeongguk wanted to add a fuck in there too. Just perfect. 

“I’m here for the race. I mean, not just for the race but for you. To see you race.”

He stares at the younger. Jeongguk still has the lamp raised above his head and his expression remains puzzled. Taehyung gulps. His brain runs with the worst and, like a flood, he’s overrun with disappointment. 

“And I know this is a big surprise for you and weren’t expecting me here but I just thought…and maybe you don’t want me here and I’m just going to distract you but you seemed really stressed about this and I was worried about you and I apologise if this is impulsive but—”

His incoherent rambling is interrupted by Jeongguk’s body crashing against his, his arms gripping his waist right above his towel. “You’re here,” Jeongguk exhales on his neck, evoking a shiver down Taehyung’s spine. He thinks his heart is in his throat, pumping rapaciously. His voice sounds a little choked up. “I had such a bad day and I needed you and I thought of calling you as soon as I was done with practice— but you’re here.” His grip tightens and he breathes him in. “Oh, Taehyung, I just can’t believe you’re here.”

Taehyung blinks, his cheeks reddening as he hugs him back. Jeongguk said he had a bad day. Jeongguk said he needed him.

Jeongguk needs Taehyung.

A bunch of fireworks set off in his chest, lighting him up from within. He feels like a teenager back in high school, hearing his crush likes him back for the first time ever. And while Jeongguk hadn’t said anything of that sort, him wanting to be with Taehyung just as much as he does is more than enough for him. Stomps down any of the fears that were just building in his head. 

“I’m here,” he affirms, now feeling warm for a different reason altogether. He’s topless, the air conditioning in the room is on full blast, he’s in a towel that’s feeling thinner by the second and Jeongguk’s body presses onto his. The slightly damp material of his t-shirt rubs Taehyung’s chest in a certain way and if they don’t separate soon, Taehyung is going to have a noticeable problem.

“Don’t you have to wash up, stinky?” he blurts out, cringing at himself.

Jeongguk laughs, head thrown back, his smooth neck exposed. Taehyung wants to press a kiss on it. “Stinky? What are you, five?”

Taehyung’s lip instinctively juts out at his teasing tone. “No, but I am cold . Now go and take a shower while I change. We’re having dinner at 8, so you have only 40 minutes to get ready.”

“We? It’s just going to be you and I, so there’s no need to be so punctual.” Jeongguk stands in front of the bathroom door and is about to take his shirt off.

“Not exactly,” Taehyung says, hesitant. Jeongguk’s hands stop at the hem and he turns to him, confused. Dammit.

Taehyung plays with the fold of the towel at the base of his stomach. “It’s just not going to be you and I at dinner. You see, I didn’t come to Italy by myself. My whole family accompanied me and will be here until your race ends on Sunday. So we’ll have dinner with them, basically every meal from now on. As a couple." He pauses and gives him a cute smile. “Hope that’s alright with you.”

Jeongguk looks horrified and Taehyung can’t blame him.

“What?!” 

♬♬♬

“Princess? Are you done getting ready?” Taehyung calls out from the sofa, earning an irritated grunt in return. “C’mon, Jeongguk. My family is already waiting for us in the lobby.” His eyes roll, thinking about how pissy his father gets when he has to wait. 

Jeongguk peeks out of the bedroom, his shirt unbuttoned. Taehyung can see a glimpse of the line dividing his pecs and his abs in all their glory and he’s about to go insane from the sight alone. He can’t help but feel envious of Jeongguk’s future real boyfriend.

“They said 8. It’s 7:45. What are they doing 15 minutes early?” he complains, tattooed fingers buttoning up. Taehyung tears his gaze away and focuses on smoothening his own outfit.

“Kim family rule. No matter the time given, always be 20 minutes early. So technically we’re already 5 minutes late.”

“It’s such a stupid rule. No wonder you’re such a stuck-up,” Jeongguk whines, his voice closer than before. Taehyung looks up to protest and finds him standing right in front of him. His freshly applied perfume wafts in the air and he, for some reason, stops buttoning his shirt halfway. 

“I’m— I’m not stuck up!” His eyes involuntarily flick down to the smooth, unblemished skin of Jeongguk’s chest. Shit, he might end up staring at it for the entirety of their dinner. The shape is too voluptuous to not look. “And if you’re done primping, let’s go. My mom is going to yell at us for sure.”

Jeongguk must’ve followed his gaze because he smirks and takes a step closer. “What if we tell them we were busy?”

Taehyung frowns at him. “Busy doing what?”

“Oh, you know,” he shrugs, taking another step, “We haven’t seen each other for a long time and you gave me such a lovely surprise.”  He tucks a stray hair behind his ear and whispers, “what do you think we were busy doing, precious?”

His sultry gaze, deepened voice and the implication behind his words all contribute to heat spreading rapidly in Taehyung’s body. A teasing smile is stuck on Jeongguk’s handsome face and it’s all too much for Taehyung to handle. “Stop it!” he complains, slapping his shoulder but not hard enough to push him back. “Are you crazy?”

Jeongguk chuckles loudly, his arms encircling Taehyung’s waist. “Why not? It’s a great idea!” His eyes sparkle mischievously. “If our hair looks messy and our clothes are ruffled up I’m sure your parents will suspect it immediately and won’t ask us a damn thing.”

Taehyung tries to get out of his hold, unable to stop giggling at the mere thought of his family's expressions if they see them in that state. It speeds up his heart too. Him? Sleeping with Jeongguk? Even the idea is unimaginable to him. They’re just friends. And even though Jeongguk is the textbook definition of his type and looks like he walked right out of Taehyung’s filthiest wet dream, there’s no way nothing of that sort is going to conspire between him and someone he despised with his entire being until a couple of months ago. He’s content with how their relationship is right now. Although those damn biceps might be the death of him one day—

Jeongguk gives him a dorky grin. “What do you say, pretty boy? You wanna give them a reason to be late?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes although his heart threatens to beat out of his chest. Jeongguk’s tone, the nickname, the grip on his waist. Some might call it platonic teasing but  with the way he’s looking at him, could it be… flirting ? Is Jeongguk flirting with him?

“Gukkie, we’re really late, come on!” He whines, knowing that making his eyes all big helps him get what he wants. 

Jeongguk lets him go with a tiny pout on his face. With the distance, his brain can finally have a coherent thought process, piecing every aspect of what the fuck just happened. No way, Taehyung decides as Jeongguk combs his styled hair one last time before giving him a thumbs up. There’s no way he was flirting with Taehyung. He’s only warming up for the show they have to put on soon. 

Jeongguk offers him his arm, giving him and his outfit an appreciative glance. “You look good,” he whispers, eyes raking down his red suit and matching pants. Normally he would’ve worn it without a shirt inside, just as he wore it during a Cartier’s photoshoot for the gold jewellery he wears at the moment, but he knows his father would’ve passed him the dirtiest of looks and honestly? His family doesn’t need that kind of tension right now.

“Thanks. So do you,” he smiles and links their arms together. He subtly checks out his outfit, his eyes glueing themselves to his chest for a moment too long. 

The two set off after double checking their suite door was locked, walking arm-in-arm through the posh hallway. Nothing but the sounds of their footsteps against the soft carpet. Taehyung glances at their reflection in the mirror in front of the lift and can’t help but notice how good they look together, how well they compliment each other. No wonder the entire world is crazy for them. 

The entire Kim family is seen assembled in the lobby of the first building, all dressed up to the nines. Halmeoni is the first one to see the couple approaching and her entire face lights up instantly. “My two bears!” she exclaims, unable to run and hug Taehyung like she used to, now confined to her wheelchair. The group members turn to them, all smiling except one. 

“ Finally you have arrived,” his father greets them, glancing at his watch that probably can buy a part of this hotel. “I was wondering how long it will take for you to get all dressed up. Even the women in the family were faster than you, Taehyung.”

Taehyung’s face instantly sours at his remark, at the implication that he spends more time getting ready and putting on make-up or whatever just because he’s gay. He’s about to tell his father where to shove his homophobic comments when Jeongguk speaks before he gets the chance to. 

“Ah, abeoji, It’s my fault. I spent too much time choosing what to wear and on my make-up that I just couldn’t make it on time,” he replies with a sarcastic lilt in his voice that makes Taehyung smile. “He was actually the one rushing me around but I’m just so gay that I can’t help but be late to every single event.” He smiles at the women in the group, who smile back at him. “Even more late than the ladies. Hence, I apologise.”

Taehyung’s father has a disgusted frown on his face, at Jeongguk’s disrespect or because he actually believes the stereotypical reply he gave him. Taehyung is seconds away from laughter and when Jeongguk sends him a charming wink, he can’t help but grip his arm tighter as a silent gesture of gratitude. There was no need to defend him but he did it in  such a way that even  Kim Seojun couldn’t even rebuke with a comeback that wouldn’t cause a scene. Not that Taehyung wouldn’t have fought back but it’s nice for someone else to have your back once in a while.

Sometimes Taehyung thinks that he doesn’t deserve Jeongguk.

“Now, shall we get to dinner?” his mother asks the group, throwing a knowing glance at the two of them, unable to contain her smile at Jeongguk’s sweet gesture.

Taehyung, whose stomach flutters euphorically as they walk towards the restaurant, feels the same.

♬♬♬

Jeongguk is in high spirits as they all finish their desserts after a nice, warm evening together. Taehyung’s family’s relationship, aside from all the drama his father brings, is actually really heartwarming to see once they’re all together. He had seen it during his first dinner and he sees it today too, even more now that Taehyung has been spending more time with his mother and grandmother these days. 

He glances sideways at his fiancé, who's now giggling at something Taeho said with a bowl of ice-cream in his hand. His cheeks are tinted pink from the wine, contrasting perfectly with his honey skin. His hair glows under the chandelier’s light and he looks so breathtaking that Jeongguk doesn’t hear what halmeoni asks him. Twice.

“Hm?” he turns to his other side when he feels a light tap on his right shoulder. “Sorry halmeoni, were you saying something?”

Taehyung’s grandmother laughs. “I’m sorry, did I interrupt your staring-lovingly-at-my-fiancé time?”

Jeongguk feels his face heat up. He wasn’t doing that, was he? All he did was glance at Taehyung and appreciate the effects alcohol has on his features. Okay, maybe it was a little longer than necessary but could it really be classified as staring? And that too, lovingly? 

She pats his shoulder fondly. “I understand. Taehyung is extremely handsome, isn’t he?”

That he is. One of the most handsome men he’s ever seen.

“Of course he is. The first time I saw him, I knew there was no saving me.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “You two are absolutely adorable.” She leans in for a whisper. Jeongguk mirrors her. “Between you and me, I despised all of his previous boyfriends. They were up to no good and they never understood Taehyung or loved him like he deserved.” She gives him a smile. “But I look at you two and I know Taehyung has found the one.”

Jeongguk’s stomach twists up in knots. “The one?”

“The one who will always take care of him, the one who is meant for him. The one who will stand by him in his darkest of times and the one who loves him more than anyone else in the world. The one who will keep all the vows you make to him at your wedding.”

Jeongguk sits there completely speechless, frozen in his seat. He swallows shakily as a knife-like sensation stabs him on the inside.

“I’m sure you must be aware of our family’s situation, given how protective you are about Taehyung. I’m going to be honest, when I heard about my Myeloma I was more worried about what will happen to my bear once I’m gone.” She sighs but manages a teary smile. “But once I saw you two at the dinner, noticed how lovingly Taehyung talks about you and well you take care of him— it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.”

All of the contents in Jeongguk’s stomach start churning and the fancy dinner he just had threatens to make a comeback. Fuck, what are they doing? They keep lying to their loved ones and creating a bigger hole for themselves. How could they have been so selfish, only thinking about advancing their careers and popularity? They didn’t think about how this whole thing will affect their family members and their fans, who have gotten so attached to their relationship in such a short time. It’s almost July and they only have five months left of this charade before they have to call it quits. How will they handle their families’ devastation, along with all the people who look up to them? The same thing happened with his mother, how she became fond of Taehyung just after one visit. And now that Taehyung’s entire family is here to support him, he thinks they might’ve travelled too far on this path to go back.

But then what’s the alternative? How long can they keep this act on? He can’t just marry Taehyung! 

He takes a quick glance at him. Can he? Would that be so bad—

“Hey, what are you two whispering about?” Taehyung turns to the two just as his grandmother moves back, a sweet smile on his face. “I hope the gossip about me isn’t too juicy.”

“Oh, precious,” Jeongguk replies, flicking his chin, “if it’s about you, you know it’s going to be the juiciest.”

Taehyung laughs and pushes his hand away playfully. His grandmother joins them and it’s evident where he got his box-shaped smile from. Jeongguk raises an eyebrow when he leans towards him. “That’s not the juiciest thing about me,” he grins teasingly and heat coils in Jeongguk’s gut. 

Fuck, what is he talking about? His ass? His lips? Jeongguk can’t understand why he would say something like that, especially when his family is around. He’s just a guy, he can’t help but check it for himself. He hasn’t had a drop of alcohol but with the way Taehyung is staring at him, he doesn’t think he needs any to do something reckless.

His gaze drops to Taehyung’s lips, stained red with the wine, shiny due to a bit of saliva on them. Juicy is right. An animalistic urge develops in him to do something , but he doesn’t know what exactly. His fists curl in his lap. “Oh yeah? What is it, then?”

Taehyung leans impossibly closer, eyes slightly hooded. “Wouldn’t you like to know, pretty boy?” he whispers, tone borderline sultry. Jeongguk feels an itch in his palms, the heat in his abdomen now spreading to his entire body. 

His brain is flooded with thoughts, none of which should ever be uttered around someone’s grandmother. Jeongguk does want to know and he also wants to act on the nasty shit circulating his brain and, more than anything, he wants to wipe off that cocky smirk on Taehyung’s face. Humility would suit him so well. 

Their bubble is broken by Minji clearing her throat on the opposite table, throwing them a pointed, yet amused glance. “I think it’s time for us to retire to our suites for the night,” she announces, tone teasing enough for Jeongguk to understand what she’s insinuating. Did she somehow read his nasty thoughts? With the minimal distance between him and Taehyung and the flirty whispers, any third person would understand what’s going on between them and while Jeongguk was teasing Taehyung about it earlier, he’s the one embarrassed at the implication now. He leans back, looking straight down at his empty bowl of tiramisu.

Taehyung’s mother nods. “I think the same. We’ve had long journeys tonight and we still haven’t gotten used to the time difference. Heechan needs his sleep too,” she smiles at her grandson, who is running a toy car across the table. 

“Jeongguk should sleep as well, he has training tomorrow at 6 in the morning,” Taehyung smiles and it warms his heart that he’s so well-versed with his schedule. Just like how a real boyfriend would be—

“Ah, you all don’t need to sleep this early because of me, you are here on a family vacation,” he says, shy now that the entire table’s attention is on him. 

“Nonsense! You’re a part of our family too and while you might be busy with training the entire day, I hope you can find some time to have dinner with us occasionally,” halemoni tells him. He ignores the sour look on Taehyung’s dad’s face. He’ll always wonder how Taehyung is his son. The little bitch looks like he perpetually has a ginormous stick up his ass.

“Thank you all for doing this, really. For coming here just to support me. I hope I don’t disappoint you all.” His head bows a little in respect and to hide his reddening cheeks. 

“Taehyung was so worried sick about you, you should’ve seen him,” Taehyung’s mother laughs. “Jeongguk doesn’t do this, Jeongguk doesn’t listen to me.” She mocks him with a high pitched voice. “He told me how important this race was for you and I knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything if he stayed in Korea when you needed him the most.” She shrugged. “And we thought the more support, the better! So you don’t need to thank us, Jeonggukie. Like eomma said, you’re family now and in this family we support each other no matter what.”

Jeongguk thinks that sentence isn’t entirely true but he didn’t want to ruin the sweet moment. And his mind is currently focused on Taehyung being that worried about him. Sure, it could’ve been just an act to cement their fake relationship further but with the way Taehyung’s face is red when Jeongguk turns to him and he’s unable to meet his gaze says otherwise. 

He gets that unknown urge all over again.

“We should go sleep now,” Taehyung mumbles shyly, still staring at his nails intently. Jeongguk gets a rush of fondness.

They all agree and slowly get up from their places. After wishing the family a good night, Taehyung and Jeongguk leave the restaurant with their arms conjoined, not separating even when they’re alone in the lift. Taehyung sighs and leans his head against Jeongguk’s shoulder. His head fits way too perfectly to ignore. 

“Are you tired?” Jeongguk asks softly, relishing the smell of Taehyung’s hair. 

Taehyung hums, pulling Jeongguk closer. “I’m sorry if being with my family is overwhelming you. You know, with the need to constantly pretend to be my fiance. I promise I’ll keep them away from you tomorrow onwards.”

Jeongguk doesn’t know how to tell Taehyung that he’d mostly forgotten about their situation and wasn’t really pretending at all the entire time, so he doesn’t respond to that. 

“You don’t have to keep them away, you know. I like spending time with your family.” 

“They really like you too,” Taehyung mumbles sleepily and the younger sees his eyes are shut in the lift’s mirrored door just before it opens on their floor. “They never really liked any of my previous boyfriends but they’re already so fond of you.”

Taehyung’s grandmother’s words from earlier return to him and so does the guilt. 

“Is that so?” Jeongguk smiles at their reflection as they step out. They really do look cute together . “Well, have you met me? Your ex-boyfriends didn’t stand a chance.”

Taehyung’s giggle echoes in the empty hallway. “Will I see you at breakfast tomorrow?” he asks, puppy eyes looking up at him from his shoulder. Jeongguk gulps before that urge returns.

“I don’t think so,” he replies while opening the door to their suite. “I’ll be leaving for practice early and I won’t be back until the evening.”

“That sucks.” Taehyung finally detaches himself from him but Jeongguk already misses the warmth of his body. 

Get a grip, Jeongguk.

His head shakes and he puts his cocky douchebag cosplay back on. “I’ll try to drop by if you admit you’ll miss me,” Jeongguk grins while taking off his coat.

Taehyung scoffs and rolls his eyes. “In your dreams, Jeon.”

Jeongguk laughs hearing his last name, all the days they spent at each other’s throats coming back to him. So much can change in just a couple of months. The person back then could never imagine enjoying being in the same room as Taehyung but here he is: ignoring feelings and plastering on a fake smile despite what goes on underneath. How nice. 

They both walk to their bedroom to change and halt at the same time almost comically. 

Uh, oh. In all the happiness and chaos of the Kim’s coming here they both forgot one important thing.

The single bed.

“Uhm,” Taehyung says from beside him, awkwardness clear in his tone. “I’m just going to take the sofa outside.”

Jeongguk immediately turns to him and shakes his head. “Nope, there’s no way you’re doing that. What if you fall down? Take the bed, I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“Why would you sleep there when I’m the one who hijacked your room like a freeloader?” Jeongguk is about to protest but Taehyung ignores him and continues speaking. “I don’t roll around in my sleep. Besides, you’re going to wake up before me and I don’t want my beauty sleep to be ruined because you couldn’t find your underwear at ass o’ clock.”

Jeongguk sighs, knowing there’s no winning against a stubborn Taehyung. “Could we at least switch on alternate days?”

Taehyung shakes his head, just as predicted. “It’s a sofa in a five star hotel suite, I’m sure it’s more than comfortable.” He gently pushes him towards the bed. “Now go and sleep, you have to be up in 5 hours.”

“Fine, but you can go and get changed first.”

A soft thud in the living room wakes up Jeongguk with a start. He sits up with a little gasp, blinking in the darkness. A couple of taps on his phone screen tells him he’s barely slept for forty minutes. What is Taehyung doing so late at night? Jeongguk is pretty sure he fell asleep even before he finished brushing his teeth.

“Tae?” Jeongguk whispers as he walks out of the bedroom as quietly as possible, not wanting to startle him. He’s surprised to see the lights are off and his senses stand on high alert. He carefully tiptoes to the sofa, weary of every single piece of furniture so he doesn’t bruise himself by bumping into a random corner, and has to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing at the sight that greets him upon reaching the living room.

Taehyung is lying down on the floor in a fetal position, completely unbothered. Little snores escape his mouth and Jeongguk can’t help but smile at his adorableness. So much for not rolling in his sleep. 

Knowing his hardheadedness, Jeongguk simply picks him up from the ground, bouncing the older slightly in his hold to get a good grip. He positively melts when Taehyung cuddles closer to him in his sleep, smacking his lips together as he burrows his face in Jeongguk’s t-shirt. Jeongguk gets this funny feeling in his stomach, as if he’s a bottle of sparkling water that’s just been shaken up. He doesn’t ever want to forget this view, even if Taehyung has drools drying on the corner of his lip. 

He gently places him on the huge bed and walks to the other side, carefully dipping his body onto it so Taehyung doesn’t wake up and whine about the younger not listening to him. He knows he’s in for a chiding tomorrow morning but for now, he just basks in Taehyung’s warmth and drifts off to sleep. 

♬♬♬

Taehyung wakes up completely disoriented.

The room is pitch dark upon opening his eyes but he immediately realises he’s not in the living room anymore. The furniture beneath him is softer than the sofa he was previously lying on, the air smells less like the lavender fabric spray he puts on his clothes and more like something sweeter and familiar.  He can feel someone breathing down on his nape in soft puffs of air. He panics for a moment before the familiar aftershave enters his nose and calms his beating heart. He blinks to adjust his eyes to the darkness before looking up to see Jeongguk’s face, with his cheek leaning against his hair. His mouth is slightly open with a tiny bit of drool at the corner. His bunny teeth peek out from under his top lip and he looks so adorable that Taehyung can’t help but coo softly. Jeongguk shifts a little at the noise, his grip on Taehyung’s body tightening. He pulls him impossibly closer until the older is almost buried in his chest.

Jeongguk must’ve carried him back to the bedroom when he fell asleep. And while he knows this is bizarre; they’re not used to sharing a bed or cuddling like this, the warmth of Jeongguk’s body is too enticing for him to go back to that cold, lonely sofa. Taehyung doesn’t have it in him to scold or be mad, not when he’s never been this comfortable in his life.  He knows they’ll have another discussion about it the next morning, only to land in the same position as right now. And while Taehyung wouldn’t really mind cuddl— sharing a bed with Jeongguk, he isn’t sure how comfortable the younger is with the idea. He’s already imposed himself unannounced, he doesn’t want to trouble him some more.

Stifling a giggle at his soft snores, he stares at Jeongguk’s face and can’t help but place a gentle kiss on his cheek, a little too close to his lips. 

Taehyung doesn’t know what comes over him. It’s early and his consciousness hasn’t fully set in but he leans in and his lips move without another thought, pressing delicately on the supple skin. So soft yet still so impactful. 

He pulls back with a quiet gasp, touching his lips as the zap he felt after contact now spreads through the older body. Stop overreacting, he chides himself. You’ve kissed Jeongguk multiple times on the cheek for the cameras. 

But it was never this close to his lips. He suddenly wonders how they would feel against his own, if they were as soft as they looked or if they’d taste like the strawberry lipbalm he always sees Jeongguk apply.

What’s wrong with him? Why is he thinking about kissing Jeongguk for fuck’s sake?

Maybe he’s had too much wine tonight or the grogginess from the flight still hasn’t gone completely yet. He should just sleep instead of encouraging these improper thoughts that will only lead to disaster. He can’t kiss Jeongguk.

He doesn’t want to kiss Jeongguk. 

End of story.

♬♬♬

Jeongguk gets hit by the strong smell of chlorine and the loud yells of children even before he can spot the pool. His sigh is drowned by the smack of his slippers against the wet tile. The sun is giving him a headache, the VR practice machine at his facility today wasn’t functioning very well and he hasn’t had a sip of alcohol for around 3 days now so he isn’t really dealing with things that well. He’d been irritable from the moment he woke up and while the sight of Taehyung cuddling a pillow in his stead improved the situation a little it still wasn’t enough to save his crew from his terrible mood. He tested Hoseok’s patience up to a point where his trainer had to tell him to go back to his suite and rest until they fixed the VR simulation machine. Normally he would’ve headed to the gym at such an opportunity to get some of his workouts done but now that Taehyung was here with him, Jeongguk thought it’d be a nice way to spend some fun time walking around their neighbourhood and grab some lunch, just the two of them.

You know, for the paparazzi. They must be starving for some couple content by now.

But Jeongguk disappointedly came back to an empty room, the entire suit tidied up by housekeeping. He spots Taehyung’s bag at the corner of the living room and wonders where he is. It’s too late for breakfast but too early for lunch. Could they have gone sightseeing? But it’s nearly 32 degrees outside. It’s too hot for something other than swi—

Bingo .

He finds a discarded tag under the wheels of the suitcase and reads that it’s for a brand new swimming trunk. And while he realises at the back of his mind how creepy this all is, he comes to the conclusion that Taehyung might’ve gone to the pool.

Which is how he finds himself at the pool area of the hotel, slippers in his feet, instantly regretting wearing his denim shorts with so much water around. He squints even through his sunglasses and tries to find his blondie in a sea of tourists until he hears a shout.  

“Jeongguk, hey!” A feminine voice calls for him in Korean, making him turn around. Hoping it’s not a screaming fan, he almost sighs in relief when he sees Minji walking towards him in a dry bathing suit, her hair tied up in a messy bun. 

“Hey Minji,” he returns her smile. “I was just looking for Taehyung.”

She gives him an incredulous look. “You really think any Kim would swim in a pool this crowded? They’re at the private pool on the other side for the guests living in suites. Didn’t Taehyung tell you they have a private lake?” she laughs and shakes her head.

Jeongguk scratches the back of his neck. “Ah, well. That’s true. I keep forgetting how rich their family is. I mean, I grew up as an elite too but not on their level.”

“Tell me about it. I’m also the daughter of a millionaire industrialist but some things are too much even for me. Taeho and I have been married almost five years but I still can’t wrap my head around the luxury they’re used to.” She gives his outfit a look, raising a brow at the jeans hanging loosely by his knees. “I don’t think you’re here for a swim, though.”

Jeongguk looks down at his casual attire. “Not really. I was looking for Taehyung. Since I have some time to kill, I thought we could grab some lunch together.”

“He picked up Heechan around 30 minutes ago so they’ve barely started with their pool session today. I don’t think they’re coming out of the water anytime soon.” She grins. “Come with me. I’m sure Taehyungie will be happy to see you.” 

The two climb a short staircase leading them away from all the ruckus into a much quieter section, only filled by familiar laughs and shouts. The Kim’s are the only ones scattered around the VIP area with halmeoni chatting with her nurse, Yeri napping on a pool chair under a huge umbrella and Taeho carrying Heechan in the swimming pool. Jeongguk is just about to look for Taehyung when he emerges from the water and manages to steal his breath completely.

Beautiful golden hair, droplets on the honey coloured skin shining like diamonds and those dripping swimming shorts sticking to his perfectly slender thighs like a dream.

Jeongguk seems frozen to the ground as Taehyung climbs out of the pool and walks towards one of the free chairs. He watches him grab a towel and dry his hair with it, the sun rays falling on his gleaming torso. He looks unreal, almost celestial, and Jeongguk’s human eyes should not be allowed to look for free. This is simply otherworldly. 

“Hello? Earth to Jeongguk?” Minji whispers teasingly from next to him. “Is everything okay?”

No, nothing is okay. Jeongguk is five seconds away from drooling so hard he’s afraid he’ll form a pool of his own. 

Taehyung spots him at that second and his face lights up brighter than the sun. “Jeonggukie!” he exclaims before approaching him with his cheeks bunched so high they almost hide his eyes.

Jeongguk, on the other hand, can’t seem to contain the heat spreading in his abdomen. Jesus, Jeon. Alteast close your fucking mouth, you creep.

He watches Taehyung’s expressions dim a bit. “Baby, what’s wrong?” 

Baby? Baby!?

“Why do you look so—”

“Dazed? Bewitched? In love? That’s how he’s looked ever since you stepped out of the pool,” Minji laughs and shakes her head.

Ah, right. Minji is here. Taehyung and Jeongguk have an act to put on. That explains the baby.

“Oh, noona! I didn’t see you there,” Taehyung smiles at her. Wait, he didn’t see her? But then what about the nickname he used five seconds ago—

“Ah, how could you see poor old me when your gorgeous fiance is here to take you out for lunch?” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes at her teasing. “Oh, shush. I’m sure you didn’t even know my name until you and Taeho got engaged, given how you used to only talk to my brother during our family gatherings.” He teases her back and he’s way too natural. It’s almost terrifying.  

Minji’s face turns pink. “That’s not true!” she defends, making Jeongguk laugh. She stares at him in mock betrayal. “Oh, I see how it is. You’ve finally gotten a partner in crime, haven’t you, Taehyung?”

Taehyung grins at Jeongguk, linking their arms together. “Yup! Why do you think I’m marrying him?” Seeing the way Taehung talks about marriage so easily sends Jeongguk’s heart into a frenzy. Stop it. Be normal.

Minji shakes her head. “Alright, I’m leaving you two love birds alone now, I need some colour on my pale skin,” she waves before making her way to her husband and son.

“Hi there,” Taehyung smiles at him, the sun exposure tinting his cheeks a pretty shade of pink. “Whatcha doing here?”

“Something told me you were dying to see me. You know, crying in our bed over how much you missed me. So, here I am.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Ha, you wish, pretty boy. I haven’t thought of you the entire time you were gone.”

“Oh really?” Jeongguk asks before grabbing his arm and abruptly pulling him closer. Taehyung lets out a little gasp of surprise as he winds an arm around the singer’s waist. “That’s a shame, because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

He wasn’t really lying, embarrassingly so. Jeongguk just couldn’t wait to get back to his comfortable hotel suite and watch a movie with Taehyung after ordering some room service. If he’s not the one paying, he’s going to make damn good use of all the services the hotel has to offer. Too bad the mini bar is strictly off limits to him.

He watches Taehyung gulp, still wide eyed from a few seconds ago. “I—” he stops himself and Jeongguk is sure he sneaked a glance at his lips for a microsecond and something inside of him roars at that. “I’m all wet.”

Yeah, you’re not the only one.

Jeongguk chuckles and runs a hand through Taehyung’s damp hair. He just loves flustering the older. “Alright then, what do you say you take a shower and we have lunch, just the two of us?”

“Don’t you have training? I thought you weren’t coming back until evening.”

A pout makes its way to Jeongguk’s lips. “Wow. Aren’t you happy to see me? There were some problems with my VR simulation machine and it’s getting repaired at the moment. Come on, Taehyung, I’m kinda hungry and we still haven’t posted about you coming here to support me. Namjoon hyung is two seconds away from chewing my brain, I’m sure.”

To be honest, he couldn’t care less about that damn picture but if that’s what it takes to convince Taehyung then so be it. The older opens his mouth to respond but is interrupted by an adorable voice calling out for him.

“Samchon Tete! Pool!”

They both turn to see Heechan on his father’s shoulders, calling out to his uncle with his tiny hands. Taehyung blows him a kiss before turning back to Jeongguk. “In a while, if that’s alright? I promised Heechan I’ll play mermaids with him in the pool this morning.”

Jeongguk laughs at the game choice. “Well, you look beautiful enough to pass as one so it won’t be too hard, I suppose.”

The colour on Taehyung cheeks turns darker and this time it’s not from the sun. “When will you stop making fun of me?” he whines before lightly punching his shoulder. His lips purse in the cutest yet brattiest little pout. 

Jeongguk hisses mockingly before watching Taehyung lean closer. “Halmeoni and her nurse are looking at us, so quick, give me a kiss.”

He swears his heart skips a couple of beats. “What?” he asks stupidly, eyes flicking to his mouth.

Taehyung clicks his tongue. “Kiss me on the cheek, come on.” He looks around alarmingly, eyes darting to every corner of the pool area to warn Jeongguk to speed it up. 

Oh. Oh, of course, a cheek kiss is what he meant. Seriously, what’s wrong with him today?

Jeongguk once again brings him closer by his waist. “Be more specific next time or else I’ll end up doing something stupid,” he whispers before pressing kisses on both of his warmed up cheeks. “I’ll be with your family in the meantime, hm?” 

Taehyung nods, looking slightly dazed as he moves back and heads for the pool. Jeongguk stares at his back for a moment before approaching the pool chairs where Taehyung’s mother seems to have woken up from her nap.

He chats with her and Taehyung’s grandmother for a few minutes before ultimately laying down next to Minji. “So, for how long are you on a break right now?”

Jeongguk shrugs. “Until my trainer texts me to come back, I guess. But it’ll take a few hours at least.” 

The two are distracted by Taeho and Taehyung’s cheers as Heechan counts to 10 in the pool. Taehyung picks up his nephew from Taeho and smacks a couple of kisses on those plump, rosy cheeks. Minji smiles when she hears her son’s delighted giggles. “Taehyung is really good with kids.”

Jeongguk is aware that, as Taehyung’s fiance, he should be somewhat aware of how good he is with kids. But since they’ve spent the last two years trying not to kill each other, they haven’t spent much time in the presence of children. But with the few minutes he’s spent observing Taehyung with his nephew and how much Heechan is enjoying himself, it’s safe to say he can be trusted with a child. Jeongguk’s chest lightens as he hears him talk to Heechan in a soft baby-voice. 

“He’s good at everything,” Jeongguk replies without thinking, earning a giggle from Minji. 

“Wow, you’re whipped for him, aren’t you?”

Whipped? Jeongguk simply said what was going on in his head at that moment. What’s so whipped about that? There isn’t one thing he’s seen Taehyung was bad at, something that annoyed him a lot during their argumentative days. He just laughs in reply, unable to form one with words. 

A game of chase has somehow started in the pool, with Taeho and Heechan swimming behind a  happy Taehyung. “You can’t catch me!” he challenges through chuckles, with Heechan matching his giggles and repeatedly calling out his name.

It’s the happiest Jeongguk has seen him in a while and the sight instantly warms his heart. Knowing how family oriented Taehyung usually is, it must kill him to stay away from his own. How can his father continuously drive a wedge and destroy such a lovely bond? 

“I don’t know who's the youngest out of the three,” he hears Minji comment, her eyes shining at Taeho’s gleeful smile as he tries running faster through the water. 

“All I know is that Heechan-ie might be the most mature one in that trio,” Jeongguk replies, shaking his head.

Minji nods with a giggle. “Taeho misses Taehyung,” she says as she turns her head towards Jeongguk. He can see tears pool at the corner of her eyelids and understands that she too is affected by seeing them all so happy together. “He never says it but he really does.”

“Taehyung does too, all the time.” Jeongguk can remember countless moments where Taehung looked lost in thought or choked up while telling him an incident or funny story that he shared with his family. “He talks about them playing the piano together and the time Taeho snuck him into a bar while underage a lot.”

There’s so much love between them and it’s being hindered just because of one man and his inability to see past his own prejudice. How upsetting. 

Minji sighs. “It pains me, Jeongguk. Taeho is clearly suffering and I know Taehyung is too. You should’ve seen them during our first few years. They were inseparable before everything went wrong. Sure, they didn’t agree on everything and usually their fights would be about their father’s behaviour and plans but I knew that they valued each other immensely, no matter what.”

Jeongguk nods, heart weighing down his ribcage. He doesn’t know much about Taehyung’s family situation; only from the bits and pieces Taehyung gave him, but it’s obvious that he and his brother shared a great bond before. Jeongguk was always a bit jealous of people who had a great relationship with their siblings and clearly Taehyung was one of them.

“This trip is a great way for them to bond but I’m sure they’ll go back to barely speaking when we go back to Seoul, given how demanding both of their careers are.” She shakes her head, overwhelmed at the thought of their schedules before turning to Jeongguk. “But I’m sure Taeho would love to have you two over at dinner sometimes.”

“Us? Me too?” he asks stupidly, pointing at himself.

Minji laughs as if it wasn’t obvious. “Of course! You’re almost Taehyung’s husband now and already a part of our family. Why won’t you be invited too?” She throws him a little wink. “I’ve already planned so many double dates for us, just wait. If only the hectic schedules of four very successful people would allow us to.”

A myriad of emotions hit Jeongguk at the same time . Guilt, that Minji thinks he’s sticking with them for the rest of their lives now, warmth that he’s once again reminded of how they already consider him family and a little unrecognisable feeling upon being called Taehyung’s husband. 

He squashes the last part of his emotion before it gets the chance to spread. Even though it was microscopic, it spread inside him like a wildfire. 

“We can do something together now,” Jeongguk suggests, wanting to change the topic quickly. “Just the four of us, maybe a fun activity.” Besides, he really likes spending time with Minji and he knows Taehyung needs this. 

Minji claps her hands in excitement. “Ooh, that’s a great idea! I haven’t done anything except boring office dinners and dinner dates with a baby attached to me so honestly? I really need this.” She glances towards the pool, where it seems like the game of mermaids has already started, if the way Taehyung is swimming with his legs glued together is anything to go by. “We need to make them spend more time together. You know, reignite their bond or something.”

Jeongguk nods in agreement before thinking for a moment. “I searched up a laser tagging place nearby, but my training might last a little late tonight. Should I book the tickets for tomorrow?” He might be dead but nothing like a little competition to perk him right back up. 

“Perfect, then we can have a nice dinner too, the four of us.”

Jeongguk and Minji both smile in agreement before looking at their spouses in the water. Taehyung has done so much for him , he thinks as he watches Taehyung flash him a boxy smile, and it was high time he started giving it back.

Before it’s too late.

♬♬♬

Taehyung barely hears the beep of the suite door unlocking. 

He’s immersed deep in his work, the earphones plugged in his ear blasting the first draft of his pre-release single. June is ending soon which gives him less than a month to record his single and shoot a music video for it before its release in the first week of August. It hasn’t yet settled in that debuting for real now, that all the hours and sleepless nights he spent composing and instilling his emotions into his passion will actually come into fruition in the next couple of months. He’s terrified yet excited at the same time, and even a little curious to see how fake-dating a huge F1 racer who's been killing it on the track recently will affect his release and  if this relationship will make any difference from his debut numbers.

A hand suddenly waves in front of his laptop screen, startling him. He sucks in a breath and looks up to meet Jeongguk’s starry gaze trained on him. He hurriedly takes out his earphones. “Hey! You back already?”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows scrunch. “ Already? I’ve been gone for the whole day, Tae.” Worry takes over his face as he glances at his laptop. “Have you been working all day? Did you even eat?” he asks softly.

“I did,” Taehyung confirms, smiling tiredly. “Ordered some room service.” He puts his laptop away, just now realising the passage of time with how strained his eyes feel. “I opened my email after breakfast and saw the draft file of my single sent by Seokjin hyung. I remembered he told me to take a look whenever I had the time and I didn’t have much to do during the day so…”

Jeongguk touches his face gently, running a thumb over the swell of his cheek, and Taehyung tries his hardest not to melt into it. “Are you sure you’re up for laser tagging later? We can always go tomorrow.”

“Yes, of course!” the older waves it off, squeezing Jeongguk’s cheeks. “I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“Easier said than done,” Jeongguk chuckles, running a hand through his hair. He wears jeans under a simple tight fitted t-shirt but Taehyung can’t help but stare at the faint ridges of his abdomen and chest peeking through the material. Flashes of this morning run through his head, when he woke up just as Jeongguk came out of the shower with his hair glistening and a towel wrapped around his tiny waist, and he gulps. He has to curl his fingers into his palm to stop himself from doing something like feel the planes of body with his hands.

“You tell me, how was your day?” he asks, desperately wanting to distract himself. Why is he even acting like this? Maybe he’s more tired than he thinks.  

“The usual. Setting new records, receiving some advice from my father and gossiping with Hobi hyung.” He kicks off his shoes and places his head on Taehyung’s lap to gaze up at him. The singer feels his stomach flip-flop. “Nothing special,” Jeongguk grins softly, the lines of his dimples doing nothing to ease the feeling plaguing his mind. 

“How is Hobi and Namjoon hyung? We all should meet up, it’s been so long.”

Jeongguk hums and shuts his eyes. “Yeah, I think Ferrari is hosting a karaoke night or something soon. Namjoon hyung heard it from one of the staff yesterday. Would you like to come with me?”

“You want me there?” Taehyung asks, heart lifting. Fuck, what is wrong with him right now? 

Jeongguk wanting him at a place full of his colleagues and superiors, on a night exclusively for people associated with the team makes a fond feeling spread through his chest. Even though it’s just karaoke, it’s the fact that he wants Taehyung to be with him and spend time with the people in his inner circle: the people Jeongguk knows best. He feels like another layer has been peeled and the distance between them has decreased by just the tiniest bit. 

“Yeah, of course. It’s not a huge deal or anything and the Italian team was asking me about my boyfriend. Namjoon suggested that bringing you to the hangout would be a great look for me in front of the higher ups at the headquarters and we might even luck out and get clicked by the paps.”

Taehyung’s heart comes crashing down. 

Of course it’s not a big deal, Taehyung. Jeongguk was just thinking about their PR relationship, something that you conveniently keep forgetting these days. Stop being a fool and making scenarios out of nothing. Namjoon wants you there, not Jeongguk. 

He doesn’t understand the hurt rapidly spreading in his chest. It’s not like Jeongguk said anything out of the ordinary. Anyone in a fake relationship would say something like that. Taehyung is the one who is abnormal.  In fact, he now seems to be the only one giving a damn about that contract whereas Taehyung has forgotten about it entirely most of the time. He’s barely acting even when they’re with his family these days and that’s the part that scares Taehyung the most. How he’s barely trying to pretend yet his parents don’t notice anything out of the blue. How he seems to have settled a bit too much into his role, to the point where he doesn’t know when does the pretending start or end.

“Precious? You sure you’re alright?”

Taehyung looks down at Jeongguk, whose staring back with worry swimming in his eyes once again. Is he carrying the acting  part for both of them, enough to convince his family? How much of it is pretend, Jeongguk?

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine , Jeongguk. Nothing a nice cup of coffee can’t fix.” He grins cheekily even while feeling hollow from the outside. A slap of reality doesn’t feel too great. “I hope you don’t want me to back out because you’re slowly scared of losing to me.”

Jeongguk laughs genuinely and the sound warms Taehyung’s entire body. The older loves it when he’s the cause. “Here you go again with your tactics. You do this every single time, trying to get me all riled up so I’ll get distracted and lose.” He pinches his bare thigh, smirking at the way Taehyung yelps. “But not this time. I’m onto you, Kim.”

“Is that so, Jeon?” Taehyung taunts back playfully, leaning closer. Jeongguk’s gaze flicks all over his face like he’s taking in the smallest detail but stays a second too long at his mouth.

Stop it, Taehyung chides his brain and its unlimited supply of delusions. Have you learnt nothing from a few minutes ago?

“You know, I’m actually kind of surprised you’re into this stuff.”

“What stuff?” Taehyung asks, quickly leaning back. “Laser tagging?” When Jeongguk nods, he crosses his arms across his chest. “And why is that so surprising?”

Jeongguk hesitates to answer. “Well– it’s just that, all the dates you suggested have been so…” he trails off, looking for the right word. 

“Boring?”

“Hey, you said that, I didn’t,” he smiles, knowing very well he means the same. Asshole.

Taehyung tries not to take offence. The French restaurant and the mug painting cafe were his ideas and even the movie he suggested they watch in the cinema was some artsy indie coming of age film. Whereas Jeongguk took him bowling and ice skating and they watched a horror movie at his place. Compared to his ideas, Taehyung certainly sounds on the more boring side. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to have fun.

“Hey, that’s mean. I’m not boring,” he whines as Jeongguk sits up. An apologetic look crosses his face.

“I didn’t mean to insinuate you’re boring, Tae. I love hanging out with you! It’s just that even though you’re a fun person, you’re not the type to enjoy fast-paced activities or go somewhere spontaneously, you know?”

Well, Jeongguk’s got him there. He’s not that fond of heart-racing things to do and he goes a little crazy if his day doesn’t go according to his premeditated plan. But he hates it when Jeongguk is right so he’s going to defend himself, of course.

“And who said I’m not that type?” Jeongguk raises his eyebrows as if to say seriously but Taehyung continues before he speaks. “You think just because your style is super cool and you have all these tattoos and piercings you’re spontaneous and not me? I’ll show you,” he challenges, already regretting the words even before they left his mouth. “I’ll show you that I can be fun and spontaneous too.”

Jeongguk’s lips tilt up on one side into an annoying smirk. “Oh yeah? Are you going to get a tattoo too?” he teases.

“I might. Or I might get a piercing too, who knows.” He shrugs, feigning nonchalance. This is going too far. Taehyng has never considered piercing anything but his ears and he remembers almost fainting during that too. Can Jeongguk just admit defeat already?

The racer tilts his head. “Alright, if you say so. I’ll be eagerly awaiting for you to prove me wrong.” Fuck, he’s really not backing down. Taehyung will just have to get another ear piercing. Lobes barely hurt. He watches the other stand up and stretch before leaning close to his ear. “Oh and before I forget; ear piercings don’t count,” Jeongguk whispers even though they’re the only ones in the room. Goosebumps line his arms as his scent fills Taehyung’s nose like a warm hug. “Now let’s change and leave for the laser tagging place. I can’t wait to see your wild side come out, precious,” he teases before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, leaving a million butterflies fighting for their life in his tummy.

♬♬♬

Minji lets out a little squeal as they approach the laser tagging place. “I’m so excited!”

Taeho laughs. “She was bouncing the whole time while getting ready. Even Heechan gave her a weird look.”

“Oh, sue me for doing something fun for once.” She smacks her husband’s shoulder with a roll of her eyes. “Between working and taking care of Heechan, neither of us have done anything like this for months. We need this.”

“Wow. Parenting sounds fun ,” Taehyung comments sarcastically, eyes flicking between the two. “I can’t wait to get a child of my own.”

Taeho shrugs. “It has its perks too. You’ll know when you have one.”

Taehyung is about to yell not interested in his brother’s face but Jeongguk speaks before he can. “Where Chan-ie right now?”

“With eomma,” Minji answers, taking her phone out of her pocket. “She hasn’t really babysat him since he was an infant so I’m a little worried she won’t be able to keep with him.”

They all walk towards the ticket kiosk. The place is packed for a wednesday night but Taehyung thinks it’s because it’s in a touristy area in the centre of Milan. Their group stands out in the crowd not because of their professions and status but because of their attire. While Taehyung has opted for a tank top with little holes around the brand logo and some jeans and Jeongguk wears his signature baggy black t-shirt and faded baggy denims underneath, Minji and Taeho are here dressed in a shirt and trousers and they stick out like a sore thumb. Shit, they really do need this night. 

“If she was able to handle toddler Taehyung, she’ll be able to handle anything and everything.” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes at Taeho. “You keep saying that but I’ve never heard eomma complain even once.”

“That’s because you’re the apple of her eye. For her, you can do no wrong.”

“Sounds like you’re a jealous little boy.”

“Alright,” Minji steps in, barely able to contain the amused grin on her face. “As much as I am enjoying this banter, I believe it’s our timeslot now.” 

Jeongguk scans their QR codes at the entry gate and the 4 are lead into a small room with a variety of vests hung in different sizes. It takes them a few minutes to figure out the right one for them and put it on.

Minji giggles when she sees Taeho struggling with his. “If you’re having trouble putting on the vest, I can only imagine how you’re going to do inside.”

Taeho huffs and lets go of the contraptions. “Stop making fun of me and help,” he complains.

“Are you sure you’re up for this hyung?” Jeongguk teases, enjoying how similar the Kim brothers look while sulking.

Minji helps him with his vest. “I already asked Taeho earlier if he’s sure he wants to come. Things like these are not really his type?”

“Oh yeah? And you’re the most fun person in the world?” Taeho asks, arms crossing.

Minji smiles. “I’m more fun than you! Your ideal outing is a art gallery visit.”

Jeongguk lets out a loud laugh and glances at Taehyung. The singer seethes. “Excuse me, just because someone is cultured and is a lover of the arts doesn’t automatically mean they’re a snoozefest.”

“Exactly! Thank you!” his brother exclaims, nodding at him. Taehyung’s heart jumps. He’s missed his brother.

“Wow, looks like I struck a nerve, huh?” Minji asks Jeongguk giving him a teasing side-eye.

Jeongguk grins, looking like he’s having the time of his life. “Taehyung and I had a very similar discussion before leaving, actually.”

“Ah, well. Then you two should form a team and play against us,” Minji suggests with a shrug. She throws Jeongguk a pointed look and he nods.

Taehyung shares a glance with his brother. “What?”

“Yeah, prove it to us that you’re not boring,” Jeongguk tilts his head, challenging him.

Competitiveness fills Taehyung’s every crevice. “I thought you said I wasn’t boring?” he asks, taking a step towards his fiance.

“Oops. Guess I must’ve changed my mind,” is all he replies with a smirk.

Taehyung narrows his eyes and he feels his dormant sassy persona arise. “Ooh, it’s so on, Jeon. I’m going to shoot you into smithereens.”

“We’ll see about that, precious,” Jeongguk accepts with a flick of his chin, his eyes getting darker as he leans in.

Taehyung steps back with a scoff. He might be terrible at a lot of things, but shooting isn’t one of them. He spent a lot of his winters at the rifle shooting range in one of his holiday homes, practicsing until every single one of his bullets would pass right through the centre. So Jeongguk might be good at this too, but he’s certainly better. They’re so winning this.

One of the staff interrupts their banter by standing in front of them with a smile. “Hello, nice to meet you” he greets them in heavily accented English. “Is this your first time laser tagging?”

Three of them shake their heads except for Taeho. “It is mine, but I know the rules,” his brother replies back in perfect English, paired with an American accent that stuck to him during the 4 years he spent at Harvard doing his bachelor’s degree. Taehyung was supposed to follow in his footsteps but never got the chance to, given how his father refused to pay for Julliard. Something about I’m not spending money on you pressing a bunch of white and black keys.

“Well, that’s great. Your session lasts 30 minutes will be indicated by a loud ring. All your vests are loaded with sensors that are also present on the walls and other props inside and will light up if the rays from your gun hit them. Your scores will be displayed on a big screen above and if you’re playing in teams, do let me know so I can input your names together.”

Taehyung informs him of the teams and after being handed their guns, they walk into the arena that’s plunged in semi-darkness, only the neon lights above and around them providing visibility. Short walls arise in some corners on the rooms,dividing the whole place like a maze, enough for someone to hide behind or take shelter. A staircase leads leads to a short-ceilinged top floor with some more places to hide and a similar layout and it amazes Taehyung how they managed to build all this in such a small space. 

This is going to be fun. 

“I’m going to rip you apart, Jeongguk,” Taehyung whispers, flashing him an innocent smile.

Jeongguk simply smirks in reply. “Love it when you talk dirty to me, baby. Make sure to do it in bed tonight,” he whispers back, tone and gaze all sultry.

Heat curls in Taehyung’s gut spreading to his chest by his esophagus. 

“Are you ready?” Taeho asks, breaking the tension-filled bubble between the two. 

“Ready to win, you mean?” Jeongguk smirks some more, taking his place next to Minji. They have 10 seconds to take their places before the buzzer rings. 

Taehyung ignores him and rolls his eyes at Taeho. “You know we’re going to win, right?”

“Oh, please. I still remember you acing every single target practice at out lake house when were teenagers,” he chuckles. “We’ve got this, Tae.”

A wave of emotions crashes through him. He can’t believe that is brother still remembers such an insignificant detail about him, from so long ago. Memories of Taehyung trying to teach him how to shoot arise in his head and he thinks they even fought over it once. He’d wished that they never spoke again after that, but little did he know he’d get his wish granted in the most painful way possible.

For a long time after that unfortunate night, Taehyung was mad at his brother. Mad at that despite being there, despite knowing Taehyung’s sexuality for years, he never stood up for him that day. Didn’t even try going against his father whom he idolised so much. It frustrated him that he just stood there, watching him and their father rip each other’s hearts with the harsh words they shouted at each other and didn’t even stop him when he packed his bags. A part of him bitterly thought that this might be exactly what he’d wanted all along but over the years he’s squashed that thought. Having to mature at a young age made him realise that Taeho was scared, a coward in front of their father just like Taehyung was. He’d just started working alongside him back then and for Taeho, their father’s word was as good as a word from God. His brother had reached out to him after it all happened but Taehyung was just so heartbroken over the whole ordeal he’d ignored his calls and texts until he stopped receiving him altogether.

Now, their chats are only filled with birthday wishes to each other and it makes him feel so hollow. He wants his brother back. He wants to drink with him and play with his nephew and have family dinners again. Taehyung just wants his family back.

He needs to talk to his brother about what happened. If his stupid ego will ever allow him to.

The countdown starts and their group splits immediately, all of them finding places to hide before the clock reaches zero. Taehyung finds a spot on the far right corner of the room and manages to hide behind one of those spaces made by the short walls. He hopes Taeho is in the left corner just as they planned.

The buzzer rings loudly and the beeps of their laser guns getting activated is heard. Taehyung peeks out of his hiding spot to see if he can spot either Jeongguk or Minji when he hears the sound of someone getting hit.

His gaze flicks to the scoreboard and a grin overtakes his face when he sees his team scored a point, which means Taeho must’ve hit either Jeongguk or Minji.

Oh, they’re so winning this.

The game develops in their favour, with their team leading by 12 points by the 15 minute mark. The winner of the match is the first team to score 50 points, or whoever has the most points if time runs out. 

With 10 minutes left until their session ends, he and Taeho have accumulated 46 points and their opposition has scored 38 points. Taehyung and his brother are still an undefeatable team and they both strategically take down their opponents even before they realise what happened. They high-five when the score rises by another point to 47. They only need 3 points to win now, and it’s nearly impossible for them to catch up, given how Minji is the only one carrying their team. Taehyung can’t believe he actually found something that Jeongguk is bad at, and it’s something he’s excellent at. It’s a win-win situation!

But the game completely changes in the next 5 minutes. After a succession of shots can be heard, he sees the scoreboard slowly balance out as the other team rises up by one point per minute. With three minutes left on the clock and their scores almost one point away, Taehyung is getting frustrated. 

“What’s happening? How are they suddenly so good?” he huffs out, wiping his sweaty forehead.

Taeho shrugs, equally out of breath. “They keep ganging up on me, knowing I’m the weaker link. I don’t like this game. It’s making me realise I’m almost 30.”

“You still have two more years, stop acting like you’re geriatric.” He grabs his shoulders in newfound determination. “We have to win this, hyung. Jeongguk will call me boring until I’m six feet under. Probably a few more times after that.”

“Minji too. Heechan will grow up thinking his father is a pathetic loser.”

“Let’s do this hyung. They’re at 48 and we’re at 49. We can easily win this, we just need one shot.” 

After receiving an encouraging pat on the back from his brother, Taehyung decides to climb the stairs and get a good vantage point and look out for the other members. It’s a huge risk and he’ll be vulnerable but it’s a risk he’s willing to take.

He’s just about to leave his hiding point when he feels the familiar zap of being shot vibrate through his body. Completely stunned and taken off guard by the attack, he drops his gun to the floor, its clattering deafened by the sound of another point increasing for the other team.

Fuck.

“Hands up, Kim Tahyung,” Jeongguk’s voice orders him and he closes his eyes to sigh. Their scores are tied now and they both need just one point to win. He is not losing after coming this far. “Hands up or I’ll shoot you.”

Taehyung does as he’s told, raising both of his arms slowly in surrender. “Good boy,” he compliments, voice getting deeper. The singer almost shivers at his tone. Jeongguk’s steps approach him. “Now turn around.”

Jeongguk’s voice ordering him around raises goosebumps on his skin. The low tone, the teasing lilt and when Taehyung turns to face him his gaze is dark, eyes narrowed like a siren waiting to eat its prey. 

Taehyung wants to be devoured.

“Jeonggukie,” he starts, knowing the effect the nickname has on him. Maybe he can puppy-eye his way through it. “Don’t shoot me.”

“I’m afraid I must, my beloved,” he replies dramatically, the corner of his lips raising. “You understand, don’t you?”

“Let me win, come on. You always win everything, let me have this.” He widens his eyes, lips slightly jutting out. “Please?”

He sees it, the slight crack in Jeongguk’s demeanour. He tilts his head, gun still trained on Taehyug unmovingly. “And if I do?”

Taehyung blinks. “What?”

Jeongguk takes a few steps towards him, prompting him to take few back. “And if I let you win, what will you give me in return?”

“W-what do you want?” he asks just as his back hits a hard surface. Fuck, those stupid walls in the middle of the arena. 

Jeongguk hums as he closes in on him. Taehyung is definitely trapped between the three walls and all he can do is stare at Jeongguk as he walks closer and closer. “What I want?” he asks, now only inches away from his face.

Taehyung’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest as Jeongguk cages him in with one arm. His cologne wafts in his nose and Taehyung feels drunk on it. His breath warms his face, smelling like the minty gum they all shared in the car earlier. 

Jeongguk’s eyes scan his face slowly as if committing Taehyung’s face to his memory. Taehyung feels vulnerable and exposed under him but he doesn’t think he minds too much. “I think you know what I want, precious,” he replies, glancing at Taehyung’s lips.

Fuck .

Taehyung’s legs feel like jelly as Jeongguk leans in further. The distance between them is so minimal that he can clearly see how deep Jeongguk’s scar is and how dark his mole is, even in the terrible lighting. He doesn’t stop closing in, their lips almost brushing each other. Taehyung closes his eyes, hands shaky and breath even shakier.

Beep!

The familiar sound rings in his ear just before he feels the zap of being shot with a laser gun. Taehyung’s eyes fling open just as Jeongguk pulls back from him, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Sorry, precious. You know competitive I can get. Can’t let you win, you know?” he winks with a shrug. 

What the fuck. What the fuck .

Taehyung lets out air stuck in his chest with a whoosh . He’s so stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid .

“You–” he stammers out, unable to stop himself from charging at his fiance. “Jeon Jeongguk!”

♬♬♬

Later that night, Taehyung lies next to Jeongguk and watches his chest steadily rise and fall as he sleeps. He smoothens the frown formed in between the younger’s eyebrows and trails his fingers down to his jaw. His mind goes back to this evening as he caresses it. 

Jeongguk and Minji, after a little bit of teasing, treated their partners to dinner to celebrate their win. Jeongguk acted normal the entire time, even when he was narrating some made-up incident about when he fell in love with Taehyung. Seeing his eyes lit up and his hands wildly gesturing for some lies painfully twisted Taehyung’s gut. Even though they’ve been doing this for months, even though he should be used to it right now, seeing Jeongguk in his perfect boyfriend mode knowing it’s nothing but a big show sends a pang of hurt through Taehyung’s chest. It was much easier when they despised each other. But as the weeks passed, as they became friends and got closer, it became harder and harder to distinguish reality from pretend.

Taehyung’s thumb hovers over Jeongguk’s plump lips. What was wrong with him today? Why did Taehyung freeze and close his eyes as the younger closed the distance between them? He’d mentioned it explicitly during contract negotiation. He’s never kissed someone without harbouring feelings for them, and he never plans to do so in the future. 

So what happened earlier this evening?

He thinks what would’ve happened if Jeongguk had kissed him back then. One, he would be crossing a line that they shouldn’t cross, and two, he would be violating the contract. There wasn’t anyone even around to act like a couple. But would Taehyung have minded ?

He thinks for a moment, heart squeaking out a no while his brain screames yes.

In the end, his heart wins. If Jeongguk had kissed him back then, he would’ve surely kissed him back.

Fucking hell, he’s so screwed.

Chapter Text

“Fuck, Jeongguk, just like that,” Taehyung groans, eyes shutting in pure bliss. “That’s the spot!”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as he gently massages his right leg. “Could you lower your voice?” He’s been praised for his massages for years now but the sounds Taehyung is making are a tad bit too much for a simple press on the leg. 

And they might be getting Jeongguk a little hot and bothered, but that’s a different matter altogether.

They’re both on the huge sofa in the middle of some random movie Taehyung was watching when Jeongguk came back from practice. He had spent the whole day strolling around Milan, mostly in its variety of luxurious designer stores and now the entire living room is filled with bags from Giorgio Armani, Versace, Prada and Dolce and Gabbana. He complained non-stop about how his feet wouldn't stop hurting until Jeongguk had asked to massage them, and it’s how they ended up like this, Taehyung lying down on the couch with his legs sprawled over his lap and doing nothing to muffle the noises that leave his lips.

“But it feels so good!” Taehyung protests, almost bordering on a moan.

Jeongguk gulps. He’s heard Taehyung moan only once in his life, the night they all went clubbing, and it sounded so heavenly yet sinful that he still isn’t sure if it was a figment of his drunken imagination. 

He craves to hear it again. Preferably with Taehyung writhing underneath him.

“You sound almost pornographic,” he mutters under his breath but Taehyung hears it in the quiet of the room.

“You don’t like it?” Taehyung asks, peeking at Jeongguk with wide eyes. He sits up with his elbows supporting his body weight, lips pursed demurely. “You don’t like hearing me moan and groan?” His tone is almost innocent and it makes heat flare up in every crevice of Jeongguk’s body.

What the fuck is he playing at? Taehyung’s got to be teasing him. Jeongguk thinks he can see a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. They’ve been prodding at nipping at each other like this since their laser tag match ended last night, and he thinks it might have something to do with him cheating and winning the match. It isn’t really considered cheating if it’s just distraction, right? It was just a tactic, getting all up in Taehyung’s personal space until he got flustered just like Jeongguk expected he would. 

What he didn’t expect, however, was to get so into it that he forgot what he was supposed to do in the first place. The moment Taehyung’s musky cologne entered his system his brain completely short circuited. He was supposed to shoot him the second Taehyung let his guard down but Jeongguk lingered in his space even after he saw him shut his eyes. It was like his body was on autopilot, leaning in closer and closer until he could feel Taehyung’s breaths on his skin in little shaky puffs. Only after their lips brushed together and a zap of electricity shot through him was he awakened from his stupor. 

Whatever he was trying to do, Jeongguk is never the one to back down from a challenge. He’s sure of it. 

He stops massaging Taehyung’s legs, choosing to trail his fingers over his exposed skin delicately. Jeongguk enjoys the shiver that racks through him at his touch. “Oh precious,” he whispers, hands travelling dangerously upwards, “Not like this, no. There are hundreds of other ways I can elicit those sounds out of you.” He watches Taehyung’s eyes slightly widen. “And trust me, they’re much more pleasurable than a simple massage.” His hand stops right at the hem of his shorts, itching to go further. “You want me to show you a few?”

Taehyung’s lips part slowly, his breathing erratic. His tongue runs over his bottom lip attracting Jeongguk’s attention, whose gaze seems to be fixed at the action. Just as it looks like he’s about to answer, there’s a knock on their door. 

The tension-filled bubble between them seems to have popped. Taehyung scrambles away from the sofa and walks to open it, still in a sort of a daze. Jeongguk thoroughly enjoys having that effect on him but also wonders what would happen if they’re not rudely interrupted while having a similar moment. How would it end? Will either of them stop before it gets too far?

Would Jeongguk mind it going too far?

 “Eomma? Noona and halmeoni? What are you doing here?” 

The three ladies of the Kim family enter the room in a hurry. Jeongguk stands up to greet them and spots a Gucci bag in Minji’s hand.

“Good evening Jeongguk,” Taehyung’s mother hugs him. “I hope we didn’t disturb you two.”

“Not at all,” he smiles. “Taehyung and I were just watching a movie.”

Taehyung’s grandmother hobbles towards the sofa with her walking stick. It breaks Jeongguk’s heart to see her health deteriorating so quickly, when it was just a few months ago that he’d seen her so healthy and full of life and laughter. He knows Taehyung notices these rapid changes too and wonders how he’s coping with it all. He doesn’t let the sadness show on his face though, he’ll give him that.

“How was your day?” she asks, taking a seat on the furniture with a little difficulty. 

“It was good but tiring. Everyone is super panicked for the free trial tomorrow since neither me nor my teammate have practised enough for the track on the simulator ‘cause it’s still faulty, even after the repairs.” Jeongguk can see only Taehyung could understand what he was talking about, given how he’d given him a one hour lecture on the sport. 

“Oh my, you’ll have to explain the whole thing to me before your race so I don’t make a fool of myself, Jeongguk,” Minji laughs, taking a seat next to her mother-in-law who nods in agreement.

Jeongguk shrugs with a smile. “I’m sure Tae can handle the explanation.”

“He taught me well,” Taehyung adds, flashing him a beautiful smile that almost sends him toppling from the edge of the sofa he’s trying to sit on.

“Well, I’m sure there’s no need to worry. You’ll do extremely well, Jeongguk.” There’s nothing more reassuring than a grandmother’s soothing voice and a pat on the back. He really hopes he doesn’t disappoint any of them, after they have come to support him from so far.

“Thank you, halmeoni. I’m sure everyone’s support is just what I need to win this thing.”

“Alright now, we won’t take much of your time,” Taehyung’s mother announces, grabbing the Gucci bag. “We just wanted to give you two a gift.”

They both give each other a puzzled glance. “A gift? You didn’t have to, eommonim,” Jeongguk says, taking the package handed to him with a bashful look in his starry eyes.

“Oh, shush. It’s time I start spoiling my baby and his husband.”

The word sends an excited buzz down Jeongguk’s body. Taehyung’s husband. Has a nice ring to it.

“To-be husband,” Taehyung reminds his mother. It’s like a slap of reality for Jeongguk as well, in a way. Time to get out his stupid daydreams about marrying Taehyung. “But when did you even buy this? I was with you the entire time!”

“When you were trying out the hundreds of outfits you bought,” she rolls her in his reply before turning to Jeongguk. “I’m sure he must’ve shown them all to you one by one, catwalking like in a fashion show.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise in amusement as he faces Taehyung. “Not yet, but it’s definitely a show I wouldn’t want to miss.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at his teasing tone, face pink. “Yeah, well, you have to earn a ticket to that show.” His tone is teasing too, almost flirtatious, even with his family present. Jeongguk wants to ask what exactly he should do to earn it when Minji interrupts their little staring contest. 

“Go on, see what’s inside. I hope you like it.”

Jeongguk gives her a grateful smile. “I’m sure I will.” He pulls out two sets of clothes, identical in design but one black and one white. 

The material feels silky to touch and once again the couple exchanges glances.

“Pyjamas?” Taehyung asks, raising an eyebrow after Jeongguk unfolds them.

“Matching pyjamas. For my favourite couple,” Minji grins. “You can choose the colour between yourselves.”

Jeongguk slides his palm against the material, indulging in how smooth it feels against his calloused palms. “This is so sweet of you all. Thank you so much for thinking of me.”

“You can thank us by wearing it right now. Both of you, go change.” Yeri gestures towards their bedroom with a nod.

“Together?” he blurts out, slapping himself internally the moment the words escape his mouth. You and Taehyung are fiances, you twat. How else are you supposed to change?

Taehyung’s grandmother raises an eyebrow. “You seem awfully shy at the suggestion. Have you two decided to wait until marriage, Jeongguk?”

The playful tone and implications behind the question cause his face to flush tomato red. “Halmeoni, stop teasing my poor baby!” Taehyung exclaims as the rest of his family laughs at their embarrassment. The term of endearment doesn’t help the heat in Jeongguk’s face and neither does the way Taehyung approaches him and intertwines their fingers together to lead him to the bedroom. “Sorry about halmeoni,” he sheepishly says once they close the bedroom door.

Jeongguk waves it off, his face slowly cooling down while his heart continues to pound in his chest. “Don’t worry about it, she was obviously kidding. I just didn’t expect the joke from her.”

Taehyung smiles fondly. “Yeah, she’s always been such a jokester. I haven’t seen this side of hers for months now so it was nice to see she still has it in her.”

He sounds melancholic yet hopeful. Always trying to put up a front and pretending to be strong when everyone can see how broken he is from the inside. Jeongguk gives him an encouraging smile and squeezes their conjoined hands. “It’ll be okay,” he whispers, even though he knows there’s a high chance it won’t be. 

But he knows he’ll be there for Taehyung when the time comes. That, he can do. 

“Thanks Jeongguk,” the older replies but also looks done with the conversation. Jeongguk respects that. “Now, I’m sure you want the black one so I’m just going to pick the white.” He points to the two sets of pyjamas neatly folded in the racer’s hands.

Jeongguk knows he’s right but as usual, hates admitting it. No matter how much things have changed between them and how confusing his feelings for Taehyung are, the pettiness in him is hard to let go. Old habits die hard, he guesses. “Not really, smartass. I want the white one this time.” He hands him the black set.

Taehyung takes it with raised eyebrows. “Do you really?” he asks, skeptically. “Or are you just acting petty because you hate being wrong?”

Dammit . Since when does Kim Taehyung know him so well? Jeongguk wants the black one so fucking bad. “I do, really. Now go on, your family is waiting for us outside.” 

Taehyung doesn’t seem fully convinced but still nods. He’s about to walk towards one corner when he stops and gives him a mischievous smile. Uh oh.

“You don’t mind me changing in front of you, right?” he asks him, voice a little deeper. 

Jeongguk shakes his head slowly, still unsure what’s cooking in that little devil’s head. 

Taehyung sets the clothes on the bed and grabs the hem of his t-shirt and pulls it off extremely slowly, maintaining eye contact with Jeongguk the entire time. 

What the fuck .

Jeongguk gulps as more of Taehyung’s tan, smooth skin gets exposed. It looks so tempting, so inviting, begging Jeongguk to glide his fingers all over the bare chest and abdomen. Taehyung works out regularly and follows that strict idol diet that leaves his muscles visible and taut yet his body is still curvy in the right places. His skin is the colour of honey and Jeongguk craves for a taste, wondering what it would feel like to trace the dip of his waist with his tongue. 

He has to ball the material in his hands to control the insane thoughts popping in his mind. Like how good his body would look covered in purple marks. Or how Taehyung would shiver when Jeongguk’s fingertips glide against his curves. The attempt to control himself must show on his face because Taehyung looks like he’s thoroughly enjoying torturing him, just like when he was giving him a massage. There’s a slight smirk on his lips and a sense of confidence practically seeping from his pores. Jeongguk has seen thousands of shirtless men in his life, all of different body types. But something about Taehyung’s exposed torso, the faint goosebumps lining his skin and his nipples erect in the cold makes him borderline animalistic. He’s never had a visceral reaction to someone like this before, not even in his hormone fueled teenage years. 

Taehyung takes his sweet time taking off his pants as well and the more Jeongguk sees those long legs of his in full glory the more he’s reminded of the delicious sounds Taehyung made earlier and how supple his skin felt under his fingertips. How he would do anything to get his mouth on— wait, what? That wasn’t a very platonic thought. None of the thoughts he’s had in the past five minutes could be described as  friendly .

What is happening to him? He and Taehyung might have crossed into some unchartered territory and there might be no going back now.

Taehyung buttons up his pyjama shirt and puts on the pants, enticing him with his sultry eyes. He gives Jeongguk a look when he’s done. “What? You’re not going to get changed, Jeonggukie?”

The racer looks down at himself and realises he hasn’t even started undressing. Taehyung throws him a cheeky wink. “Now go on, my family is waiting for us outside,” he repeats Jeongguk’s words from earlier with a smirk, all the while he has to rid himself of his impure thoughts.

Bastard .

Two minutes later they both emerge from the bedroom dressed up in their gifts. The three women cheer when they stand in front of them, posing like models on a runway. Taehyung blows them a kiss which Minji catches and brings to her heart, making Jeongguk laugh. Charisma runs in Taehyung’s veins like blood. He knows how to entertain a crowd, using his cute features to his advantage. 

“Don’t you two look absolutely adorable?” halemoni coos, nothing but adoration in her eyes. “A match made in heaven, truly.” 

Jeongguk feels the sting of guilt in his chest upon looking at the endeared faces of Taehyung’s family. But before he can dwell on it too much, Taehyung’s mother speaks up. “Quick, let’s take a picture of the two of you.”

She makes them sit on the sofa after the three make place for them. His grandmother runs a hand through both their hair to set it a little before sitting on one of the dining table chairs. Minji and Yeri both stand opposite the two, phones in hand and ready to take the picture.

Taehyung and Jeongguk exchange awkward glances before shifting closer until their shoulders touch. Minji gives them a disgusted look. “Why are you two acting as if this is a class picture? You two are engaged, act like it.”

We do, Jeongguk thinks as he winds his arm around Taehyung’s shoulder. That’s all we do. Act.

They both smile before they hear the clicks of the picture being taken. Both Minji and Yeri look disappointed at the outcome. “Yeah, no. This won’t work. You two look way too stiff. Why is that?”

Yeah, why is that? They have been pretending to be a couple for over four months now and clicked multiple pictures in that duration. The last few ones almost fooled Jeongguk too. So why are they so uncomfortable now just as they were during their first time? Shouldn’t there be some improvement? Shouldn’t they have gotten better at lying? 

“Well, you three are almost boring holes in our faces, so that’s a little scary,” Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“These won’t do,” Yeri announces, staring at the photos with a frown. She claps her hands twice, tone suddenly authoritarian. “Jeongguk, sit on the edge of the sofa like before. Taehyung, sit right next to him.”

“What, are we posing like those vintage photos from the 18th century?” Taehyung complains, but one do as you’re told look from his mother puts him in the instructed position. Their pose is definitely still a tad awkward but miles better than before. Jeongguk gives his shoulder an encouraging squeeze and Taehyung flashes him a small smile before resting his cheek on Jeongguk’s shoulder. Jeongguk can smell his shampoo wafting from his fluffy hair as he rests his cheek against his head. The thought of Taehyung using the products he brought from Korea and smelling exactly like him makes Jeongguk’s heart go into a frenzy. Sharing beds and products, having their meals together and not posting a single picture of their supposed dates or letting the world know about them. If they aren’t doing all this for the cameras, then why are they acting so domestic in private, where even Taehyung’s family won’t see them?

“Aww, look how shy Taehyungie is!” Taehyung’s grandmother exclaims, her eyes crinkling with adoration.

“He’s become so red, it’s so cute,” his mother adds and a smile spreads on Jeongguk’s face.

Shy Taehyung is probably one of his favourite sides of Taehyung. He loves how his face gets all flushed, eyes moon-like that can never meet anyone else’s. A small smile graces his face and his cheeks get all bunched up at the smallest of compliments. Jeongguk makes it his mission to bring out that blush every chance he gets.

He cuddles closer and turns his gaze to him and hears the sound of the shutter again. “Now this, this is perfection!” Minji squeals, showing everyone the result. “Look at the way Jeongguk looks at Taehyung, my heart can’t take it.”

Jeongguk’s face heats up upon seeing his gaze aimed at Taehyung in the picture, something clearly other than friendship in his eyes. It’s almost like his eyes are full of stars and he genuinely looks like he’s fond of him beyond comprehension. Taehyung’s lips part upon seeing the picture and he skirts his eyes away from Jeongguk, face once again becoming pink. 

Taehyung’s mother and grandmother have teary eyes as they look at the picture. “You two should get this framed,” Yeri suggests with a smile. “A match made in heaven, truly.”

“I still cannot get over how shy Taehyungie looks in this photo,” Minji teases, flashing Taehyung a grin. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Alright, alright.” He turns to her and folds his arms. “This is just revenge for all the months I relentlessly teased you and hyung, isn’t it noona?”

Minji shrugs. “And I’m enjoying every second of it.”

The entire Kim family laughs, including Jeongguk. He really loves spending time with Taehyung’s family and nowadays he barely remembers the contract or having to pretend. He’s gotten a little too comfortable in his role and the more he realises it, the more it scares him. All these relationships they’ve built and the genuine attachments they’ve gotten over a bed of lies is going to bite them back in their ass someday, he’s sure of it. It’s going to be so hard, breaking the news of their breakup to both of their families in December. And it’ll be so much harder to let go.

Jeongguk’s phone suddenly rings, breaking his train of thought. His and Namjoon’s photo flashes on the screen and he excuses himself from the living room, not before giving Taehyung a reassuring smile.

“Hey hyung,” he greets, sitting on the bed. It’s a little over 8 p.m and he prepared enough for his interviews tomorrow, so he wonders the reason for the call. “What’s up?”

“The team was thinking about meeting up at a bar in an hour. You know, the one next to our training centre. You want to come?”

Jeongguk thinks for a few seconds before humming. “Can I bring Tae with me?”

“Of course you can. It’ll be good for the Italian and Spanish teams to meet Taehyung too.” He pauses. “We need to talk about something, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow. “Oh? Is everything okay?”

“For now, yes.”

For now? What the hell is going on? Is this about the contract? Did he make Taehyung uncomfortable in any way? Is he going to end this—

“Jeongguk? Is everything okay?” Taehyung whispers as he enters the bedroom. 

Jeongguk covers his phone’s receiver. “Uh, yeah. Everything’s fine. Did they all leave?”

“Yeah. It was time for Halmeoni’s medicines.”

“Jeongguk?” Namjoon’s voice brings his attention back to the call. “Will I see you and Taehyung at the bar?”

“Of course, hyung. We’ll be there by 10.” He sees Taehyung’s interest pique at the we .

“Great, we’ll talk there,” his manager says before hanging up.

Jeongguk keeps the phone as a knot grows in his stomach. “Tae, would you be up to go to a bar after dinner? My team is meeting up for some drinks.”

Taehyung studies his expression before nodding. “Sure, that sounds like fun.” He pauses, as if hesitating to continue. “Is everything truly alright? You seem a bit…tensed.”

Since when is Kim Taehyung, once his sworn enemy , able to read Jeon Jeongguk so easily?

Jeongguk runs a hand through his hair. “It’s just— hyung said he wants to talk to me about something. And it might be something small like some change in my schedule for tomorrow but what if it’s not? What if it’s about us or my—” he gulps, “my problem ?” 

Even though Jeongguk has come to terms with his problems with alcohol, he still can’t use that word yet. The word that makes everything real, something that can shatter all that he’s built over the past years in a snap. He’s truly terrified of what would happen if anyone other than Taehyung got to know what demons he’s battling at the moment, even though he’s trying his hardest each day after breaking down in front of Taehyung.

Taehyung looks confused for a moment before he realises. He takes a seat next to him. “Hey, I’m sure that whatever it’s about, it’s going to be okay. This is Namjoon hyung we’re talking about. Even if it’s about your issue, I have no doubt that he’ll understand, hmm? Maybe better than anyone else.” He rests his hand atop Jeongguk’s and the gesture radiates comfort. Warm and soft over his own, grounding Jeongguk. “Plus you’ve been doing so much better for the past week, no?”

He is. Jeongguk has barely had a sip of alcohol since that night and while the first two days were pure torture and he barely remembers how days turned to nights, he’s getting much better at control each passing day. He locked up his entire alcohol collection in his basement and started exercising apart from his training along with maintaining a balanced diet. Taehyung helped him through it all by finding as many resources as he could and even made him join an anonymous support group for recovering alcoholics like him. He doesn’t have the guts to join their audio call meetings yet but he’s working on it. One baby step at a time.

“I have but,” he takes a deep but shaky breath, “it’s so hard, Tae. There are moments in the day where I think I can handle this easily but sometimes it gets too much.” Even Taehyung coming to Italy hasn’t helped his situation much. That stupid minibar keeps tempting him and sometimes all he wants to do is just grab all those bottles and drink until he forgets all his worries and passes out cold. Taehyung’s face peacefully sleeping next to him is what stops his urges each time he wants to give in.

Taehyung’s eyes soften. “I know it does, Gukkie. But remember what all those sites said? This process takes time, years if needed. You’re not even taking any psychological help or receiving any therapy so this is going to be harder for you but you’re already doing so well!” He squeezes his hand. “And I’m going to be here every step of the way, whenever you need me.”

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung for a couple of moments. He takes in the perfectly angled face and his ruffled blonde hair and the way his lips part in question. Taehyung’s face gets more pink the longer he gets stared at and he loves it. A surge of fondness for him rushes through Jeongguk and he can’t help but encase his face in his hands. Taehyung’s eyes widen at the action but he doesn’t move, staring at him with his mouth slightly open in confusion. Jeongguk’s gaze flicks to it, to the plumpness and the colour. He suddenly wonders how Taehyung would taste like if he kissed him right now. A brush of their lips, a swipe of his tongue across his bottom lip. The kiss on their first evening of pretend was too quick and shocking for him to actually know what it’s like to kiss Taehyung but he wouldn’t really mind a reminder.

Fuck , Jeongguk totally wants to kiss Taehyung. What the actual fuck .

“Jeongguk?” Taehyung asks him, his cheeks slightly bunched up underneath his palms. “What’s going on?”

Jeongguk has to restrain himself from pouncing on those inviting, moisturised lips. What the fuck is wrong with him right now? Him and Taehyung are just friends. Just because Taehyung has been supportive throughout his week- long journey doesn’t mean he wants to make out with him. He clearly has no interest in meaningless hookups as stated in their contract and Jeongguk values and respects him too much to treat him like some unimportant fling. 

“Nothing,” he smiles instead, a strange yet welcome feeling enveloping his heart, “I’m just really grateful for you, my precious.” He gives Taehyung’s nose a small kiss before pulling back. “You wanna grab some dinner before we head to the bar?”

♬♬♬

Jeongguk squints at the address Namjoon texted him earlier. 

“Are you sure we’re in the right place?” Taehyung appears next to him after paying the taxi driver. He too stares at the simple building that does not look like a high-end VIP cocktail bar whatsoever. If anything, it just looks like some random brick building without much to it, which makes Jeongguk fear he was accidentally sent the address of a shady alleyway instead. 

Jeongguk shrugs, pointing to his phone screen. “It’s where Joonie hyung told us to meet.” He looks around, trying to spot someone that can help them. “Apparently this bar is super exclusive and invite-only so we can’t even ask anyone about it.”

He sighs, weariness taking over him. “I should just call him and tell him to pick us up.” Just as he’s about to dial Namjoon’s number, a voice stops him. 

“Jeongguk!” Matteo’s familiar voice falls on his ear as he approaches the pair. Jeongguk sees his smile dim noticeably when he sees Taehyung next to him. “Have you just arrived?”

There is palpable awkwardness in the air. Jeongguk has tried his best to avoid him every chance he gets since Jimin and Yoongi’s engagement party, after receiving his proposal. They’ve only exchanged a few greetings here and there before he cooks up some excuse to leave. Matteo hasn’t asked him out after that but every time they speak it feels laced with intent. “Ah, yes. I was searching for the bar the team was meeting at.”

“You’re looking at it,” he smiles, gesturing to the old building. “The owners are very secretive about the location so the bar is hard to spot. I’ll guide you, come on.” His eyes fixate only on Jeongguk and he doesn’t acknowledge Taehyung’s presence. Jeongguk can feel the annoyance coming out of his body in waves next to him.

“By the way, this is Taehyung. My fiance and the love of my life,” he introduces, bringing him closer by his waist. 

Matteo’s eyes finally flick to Taehyung and a tight-lipped smile takes over his face. He extends his hand for him to shake. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Taehyung. I’ve heard so much about you.” Taehyung takes his hand, flashing him a smile of his own. One that’s 100% fake, that is. Jeongguk can tell after years of being on its receiving end. “I didn’t know you were here though. In Italy, I mean.”

Taehyung retrieves his hand and loops his arm through Jeongguk’s. “I came to support my baby, of course. It’s such an important race and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Even though Jeongguk knows it’s all an act, his heart swells at the term of endearment and that Taehyung has travelled so much just to encourage him. “He surprised me, actually. He’s the sweetest, isn’t he?” he asks, kissing the side of his head.

Matteo’s facade almost drops at the action. He still nods and smiles, though. “That he is. Now, shall we get inside?”

After the couple nods, he rings the bell to the building and says a couple of words in Italian that sounded similar to the words attached in Namjoon’s message. It seems like a password of sorts is required to enter, which is funny and excessive to Jeongguk at the same time.

“Can you speak Italian?” he asks Matteo as the door opens. 

He nods before entering. “Yes, I’ve been studying it since elementary school. A lot of Spanish people learn Italian when they’re children. I’m fluent in four languages.”

“I’m fluent in three.” Jeongguk smiles at Taehyung. “And he’s fluent in five. It’s really impressive.” Taehyung’s pink cheeks are visible even in the low lighting. 

Matteo’s eyebrows shoot up as they all climb down a narrow staircase. “That’s interesting. Which ones, if I may ask?”

“Korean, Japanese, English, French and German.”

He lets out an impressive noise in reply. “But not Italian,” he grins.

“Not yet,” Taehyung replies, his grip on Jeongguk’s arm tightening.

The staircase ends into a huge room with stunning vintage decor from the early 19th century., The place is crowded with familiar faces chatting with various drinks in their hands and jazzy music plays softly over the speakers. The ambience isn’t loud or wild and it’s just what Jeongguk needed after the tiring day he’s had.

“This place is beautiful,” Taehyung appreciates next to him, taking in every bit of the bar around him. 

“One of the finest bars in Milan and you can only enter after being invited. They say the cocktails here are delicious and unique,” Matteo adds with his eyes set on the long bar table with three busy bartenders behind the counter. “Would you like me to get you a drink, Jeongguk?” he asks, his flirty tone appearing and him almost batting his lashes. 

Jeongguk gulps. He would very much like a drink. He’s not had one since he cleared out his bar cabinet at home and the mini fridge in his suite and the cravings have been getting worse the closer his race approaches. Jeongguk gets shitfaced drunk the day before all his races and him unable to do that now, when it’s almost time for one of the most important races of his life, is becoming borderline unbearable. 

Taehyung, who somehow seems to have sensed his internal struggle, squeezes his arm in reassurance. Jeongguk takes a deep breath before shaking his head. “No, thank you. I don’t feel like drinking tonight.”

Matteo looks surprised, which is probably because he’s used to seeing him gulp down copious amounts of alcohol at any celebration or outing they’ve been in together. But he still nods, looking a little dejected. 

“I’m going to find Namjoon and Hobi hyung,” Jeongguk informs Taehyung, who nods. “You should go get yourself a drink with Matteo in the meantime.”

Taehyung smiles at him. “Yeah, I’ll join you in a bit.” He kisses Jeongguk’s cheek sweetly and whispers, “I’m proud of you,” against his skin. Jeongguk’s heart thuds rapidly and he gets a rush of adoration for the man in front of him. It might not be a big deal but he’s glad he has Taehyung supporting him through every step in this tumultuous journey. “I’ll see if there are any non-alcoholic drinks available, hmm?” 

Jeongguk smiles back at him before he leaves with Matteo, heading towards the crowded bar. He takes a deep breath. This is going to be harder than he thought. He doesn’t think he can manage this on his wavering control and Taehyung’s help alone, and as Sunday approaches he feels his determination slipping away more often than not. Maybe he should talk about this in his next online AA meeting.

He spots Namjoon and Hoseok in one corner of the room, chatting and laughing away and a warmth envelops his heart. They might be his manager and trainer but they’re also his best friends, along with Jimin. They deserve to know he’s struggling and Jeongguk should trust them and ask for their advice. He might be afraid to tell his father but he knows his friends will understand and do everything to assist him with his recovery, he’s sure. So even if Namjoon wants to talk about his problem, he’ll be honest and own up to it.

Nerves build up as he walks towards the two. It takes immense courage to admit you have issues and Jeongguk isn’t sure if he has it. He smiles at a few familiar faces as he passes through the crowd and tries to steady his breath as he approaches his friends. “Hey, hyungs,” he greets the two who turn to him upon hearing his voice.

Hoseok’s face lights up. “Jeongguk! You made it,” he pats him on his back, eliciting a chuckle.

“Barely, thanks to Joonie hyung’s vague ass instructions,” he grins at Namjoon who just rolls his eyes. 

“Did you come alone? Where’s Taehyung?” he asks, looking around. 

Jeongguk points to the crowded bar. “He’s getting us some drinks with Matteo.”

Hoseok laughs, shaking his head. “Now that’s a duo we didn’t know we needed. Hopefully Taehyung hasn’t strangled him by the time their drinks are prepared.”

“Why will Tae strangle him?” Jeongguk asks, surveying their faces in confusion.

Hoseok gives him a pointed look before he sighs exasperatingly. “Because he li—”

“Speaking of Matteo,” Namjoon interrupts him, giving him a pointed stare, “I have something I wanted to discuss with you.”

Jeongguk straightens up, heart rate spiking. “Yeah?”

His manager whips out his phone and turns it towards him. It’s a screenshot of an article that’s written in Italian so he doesn’t understand what it’s really about until his eyes fall on the picture of him and Matteo together. It’s a slightly blurred picture taken in a hurry but their faces are clear enough to identify. Jeongguk recognises his outfit from a karaoke bar in Mexico from one of their recent Grand Prixs. In the picture, they both are laughing, clearly drunk while Matteo’s head is on Jeongguk’s shoulder. 

Dread overtakes him.

“What is this?” he asks, even though he’s sure he knows the answer.

Namjoon sighs. “An article was released about you and Matteo in some Italian gossip blog last night. The headline talks about you and Matteo and wonders if there’s anything more going on between the two of you.”

“But I’m engaged,” Jeongguk seethes, suddenly very upset. “I’m sure they must know that, given how Taehyung and I have done everything in our power to shove our stupid fake relationship in everybody’s faces.” Have they not done enough? Going on so-called dates, posting countless pictures with and of each other and even spending time with each other’s families. What else is left to do to convince them that they’re together and they love each other?

Namjoon studies Jeongguk’s outburst and speaks in a soothing manner to calm him down. “You two are working very hard to make this relationship work and Seokjin hyung and I couldn’t be happier. This article also mentions your engagement but they say it might not be true, given how close you are to your colleague. But again, it’s not your fault.” He pauses and takes a sip of his drink.