Archive of Our Own ^beta

”It’s hard being strong, isn’t it? You have to be strong for those weaker than you.” Luka inquires to the guitarist sitting across from her right now. 

The guitarist huffs, annoyed, “…” turning away and getting up to leave.

Luka watches his movements, studying how stiff they are. 

”Look, if he asks you where I am. Just tell him, I’m here. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m not leaving until they find me. Got it?” It’s more like an order than a question. 

Luka sighs and nods, knowing there’s nothing she can really do here. “Please just don’t get lost, okay?” 

The guitarist closes her eyes, “I won’t.” 

———

Shiho enters the SEKAI, watching the bright lights fade away. Being met with the main classroom as the evening sunset dims and gives the room a golden hue. 

Looking down at his phone, he pulls up the incoherent message sent by Ichika. Wondering what’s happening with her, trying to get a hold of him. But not able to get any response. 

Message read.

Logically, they should contact Honami and Saki about this too. But he knows they're on a date together and would rather not bug them.

Step. Step. Step.

Luka sees Shiho staring at their phone, entering the classroom. “Shiho? Is something wrong?” 

The bassist looks up, shock on his face from seeing the sudden visitor. Well… more like he’s the visitor, even if the SEKAI was made partially out of their feelings. 

“It’s Ichika, have you seen her?” 

The pink-haired upperclassman thinks a little, trying to carefully convey her words as she nods. “I have… though she seemed stressed and upset when he arrived.” 

“Where are they? She sent me a confused text message, she hasn’t done that since middle school.” 

Luka tilts her head, “What do you mean by confused?” 

Shiho pulls up and shows Luka the message. A bunch of random letters, numbers, and symbols spammed. It wouldn’t worry the bassist if this was consistent. But Ichika only ever did it during middle school, when they were alone. 

“It seems, you’re right.” Shiho watches as Luka breathes, or at least a Virtual Singer’s equivalent of breathing. Seeing how careful she is with her words, clearly knowing something they don't. 

“Where is she?” Shiho presses again, being a little more forceful this time. 

Luka shakes her head, “Truthfully, I don’t know. I came here to check if she came back. But… It seems like she wants you to find her.” 

The bassist grits his teeth, annoyed at the hidden information. Whatever's being hidden there’s a reason for it, but they feel betrayed regardless. The SEKAI is supposed to be safe after all. 

No answers to any of this, just endless questions and confounding worry.

“Alright, I’ll go find him then.” Shiho grabs his bass and heads out into the SEKAI, feeling as Luka watches him leave. 

Where the hell are you?

…

Shiho lost track of how many rooms and hallways he’s looked around in. “I thought this place was smaller…” he mutters. 

The gray-haired bassist wonders if the place has grown. It wouldn’t be surprising considering how much they’ve all grown together. Still, though, this section of the school feels like an inescapable maze. Something one could only make if they truly didn’t want something to be found. 

Who’s feelings are these? They can’t be any of them, can’t it?

Turning a corner, he hears something. Or rather, someone…

“Raindrops fall down on me so cold but so tenderly…” 

Shiho stops in their tracks, hearing someone singing with a delicate strum of an acoustic guitar not far from him. 

When did Ichika use an acoustic?

Has her English always been this good?

Why is she even back here?

Walking towards the voice, he finds an unfamiliar classroom. Hesitantly opening the old wooden door with a well-rusted handle. Hearing it creak as he opens it, slowly creaking it open so as to not startle the person inside. 

“Another story of a broken hearted soul… Ti-“ 

‘Ichika’ looks up, and stops, looking up at the bassist who stares at him. Clutching the acoustic like it’s the only thing grounding her. Sitting on the broken ground of the cold and broken apart classroom. Hidden and obscured from the light of the SEKAI. 

Shiho looks up and turns around at the windows, seeing the sun has set. The room being illuminated by the dim moonlight sweeping through.

Vaguely able to make out the broken lights, chipped floor, broken desks, and cracked walls. And yet.. the windows are still intact, being as clear and untouched as any other window in the school. 

‘Ichika’ looks at Shiho, studying the bassist. Confusion littering her face, “I thought you wouldn’t come.” Voice with regret and sadness.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Shiho notices Ichika’s face being so cold. With none of her small facial quirks, the smile in her eyes, or even the warmth. Just cold, with a sense of sadness that lingers. 

“Why wouldn’t you?” He shrugs like it should be obvious. 

Shiho furrows their eyebrows, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

The guitarist shrugs, giving a simple response back. “I’ve never been responded to.” 

The bassist pauses, needing an answer now, “Ichika when have I not responded to you? I respond to everyone…” He pauses, “...minus the weird fans Shizuku has that somehow found our numbers.”

He shakes his head, sighing, exasperated, “You haven’t though. You ignored me all throughout middle school.” Their voice trails off, “I doubt you’d understand…” 

Shiho tilts their head, concerned, slowly approaching them. Wanting a better look at her. Walking closer as ‘Ichika’ buries herself further into the acoustic, moving backward. Signaling to him that something is wrong. 

“Ichik-“ before Shiho can even finish saying the guitarist's name, they flinch at it. “Never mind…” 

She looks down, “…” 

“…?” Shiho notices he wants to say something. 

“…!” The guitarist stands up, right in front of Shiho. Seeming to be taller and more imposing than usual. Looking at Shiho with curiosity as if studying him. 

Shiho tilts his head, “…?” 

“Hiyori,” she says plainly. 

“Hiyori?” the bassist is confused by the sudden name. 

“…?” The guitarist tilts her head, waiting for Shiho to understand. Her face contorting, with less anger, and now with a more playful look. 

“…?” 

Shiho takes a moment to think, knowing Ichika’s known to be pretty loose with pronouns and gender. Giving up on how often it changes. 

So maybe… 

“Is Hiyori your chosen name?” 

Hiyori smirks, “Close.” Toying with Shiho a little, finding it nice to be noticed for once. 

Shiho tries to think again, not knowing what else it could be. Ichika loves her parents and even more so the name they gave her out of their love. So why would he change it…?

It just doesn’t seem to make sense.

Shiho notices the black-haired girl move closer. Running her fingers through their soft gray hair, playing with it. Knowing that Ichika finds it to be the softest and most comfortable pillow in the world. At least… that’s how she likes to describe it. 

“…?!” 

Shiho jolts their eyes upwards, knowing exactly what he means by this. Always painfully knowing what it means. 

“You want to go to my place for the night, don’t you?” Shiho stops Hiyori’s hand from petting into his hair more. 

“Huh…?” Hiyori tilts her head like a rottweiler who was told it could go on a walk. Caught off guard by the sudden question. Like she’s the one being toyed with now. 

Shiho gives a playfully annoyed huff, trying to alleviate the situation. “Doesn’t matter what happens, you always stay the same.” 

“…” Hiyori goes quiet, taking her hand away and staring blankly. Shutting down. 

…

…

…

Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong? 

——— 

’Sometimes, in order to protect one thing, you have to have the resolve to let go of another.’

Hiyori groans, sick of hearing it. Spitting out the toothpaste and washing the brush.

Barely stopping herself from punching the mirror. Gritting her teeth, she looks up. Not recognizing herself. Trapped in someone else’s body. 

Putting the toothbrush away, he pulls out Ichika’s phone. Knowing he shouldn’t, but goes to Shiho’s contacts anyway.

‘Rather than hurt others, become someone who gets hurt instead.’ 

Hiyori puts her hands on her ears, trying to drown out the voices. Whether it be the others or just mere hallucinations, he doesn’t want to hear it. 

Rapidly typing out a message to Shiho, knowing he has no idea who she is but not caring. Just wanting someone to finally notice her. 

And against better judgment, clicking the ‘Untitled’ track on her phone. 

———

…

…

…

“Mhm…”

Ichika wakes up, groggily rubbing her eyes. Feeling as she’s clutching onto Shiho, confused. 

Now, do they shake him awake? Or wait for him to awaken naturally? 

The guitarist puts his hand on Shiho’s forehead, wanting to see if the reason she’s here is that he’s sick. Feeling no drastic temperature… well, besides the usual when he touches them. 

Maybe she’s just here for a sleepover she forgot? 

Either way, they get Shiho to themself! 

Moving her head back down to his chest, and rubbing against it slightly. Like a cat finding a warm heater. 

Feeling as Shiho’s fingers make their way to his hair, rubbing his scalp. Huffing in a lighthearted annoyance. 

“Good morning, Hiyori.” 

…who?

“Shiho?” the dark-haired girl yawns, “Who’s Hiyori?” Confused and concerned.

Is he dating someone else that he never told the rest of them? Is he going to leave them? Wait- why would Shiho- he’d never… 

“Isn’t it you?” Shiho’s nose wrinkles, almost studying Ichika’s reaction. 

“Huh…?” Ichika tilts her head in confusion. 

Shiho throws a pillow at her face, not wanting to deal with it so early in the morning. 

———

Hiyori stumbles through the empty white building. Grabbing at a nearby wall. Gritting her teeth to hold back the blood. 

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The nagging sound of the clock resounds, filling the hallway with dead silence. A horrible silence. Reminding her too much of back then. 

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Surveying the room, he wants to laugh about how pathetic he really is. To think he could let it happen again.

“How comical,” she chuckles, “I’m such a fool”. Nothing ever really changes… nothing. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

It’s deafening.

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

It’s horrible. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

Specifically three ticks each time… huh? He should’ve known, it’s taunting her for even trying. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

He deserves this. It’s better this way. Lost in this insanity. It’s better to keep everyone safe. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

No one should ever see him, no one. She’s just a pawn in the many working parts of this little mind palace of sorts. Nothing to see here. 

Just someone who should be forgotten. 

Someone who shouldn’t exist. Someone who can only hurt. A misplaced role given to someone who isn’t needed anymore. 

It was foolish to think she could have something to herself. She’s better off to be forgotten in the dirt, like a worm. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

Tick. Tick. 

Tick. 

———

“Ichika, catch!” Shiho throws a metal object in her direction, watching as she fumbles around with it. 

Ichika tries to grasp the item, trying to get a good grip on it. Seeing from the corner of her eye Shiho’s amused grin. Happy he’s having fun watching her struggle, even though it’s at the expense of himself. 

“Ha!” the guitarist manages to grab the key, though falling. Caught by Shiho who saves her right as she’s about to face-plant onto the ground. 

Giving a playful huff, he ruffles her hair a bit. “Be careful next time.” 

The black-haired girl smiles, “You caught me though!” he puts his free hand behind his neck, a little nervous. “It’s not like I was stuck in a tree this time!” 

Shiho rolls their eyes, “I’m not getting you out next time you get stuck then.” 

“Hey-” Ichika knows they're not serious about it but tries to protest anyway. Seeing their usual playfully annoyed stare, Ichika knows she really doesn’t have anything to argue with considering how true it is. Letting it go, for now… 

Looking down at the object, she looks at it confused. “Shiho, what is this?” 

“The key to my house,” he shrugs it off like it’s normal. 

“Huh? For what?” 

Shiho opens his mouth, trying to find the right words. Not wanting to bring up last night since Ichika clearly doesn’t remember it. Coming to realize he may not remember the other times he’s asked to stay over in distress. 

“Think of it like a key to find your way home,” he notices Ichika’s head tilt in confusion. “You come over sometimes to feel safe, so think of it like a way to keep me safe too.” 

“Huh?” Shiho watches as Ichika’s cogs turn in her brain, trying to make sense of his words. “...I think that makes sense?” 

The bassist sighs, knowing it wasn’t going to register with her. Holding out their hand for Ichika to hold as they see her hand stimming. 

“...!” Ichika grabs Shiho’s free hand, holding it without a care in the world. Pocketing the key to the Hinomori house in her jacket pocket, making sure not to lose it. Maybe she may not understand why she was given it, but he knows there’s a reason. 

The gray-haired bassist gives an exasperated gasp, “Ichika, what the-”

“You offered,” the guitarist gives him a playful grin. 

Shiho sighs, “Come on, let’s go meet up with Saki and Honami. We’re supposed to go shopping today with them.” 

“Huh, that’s today?” Shiho can see her trying to count the days in her head. Looking away since it might take her a moment. 

The bassist can’t help but smile nonetheless. Looking over again once Ichika finishes, seeing her nod. Nodding back, relieved they're still here with him. 

Being dragged along, Shiho feels as Ichika takes charge. Running towards the direction of the Tenma house without a care in the world. 

“Hey, Ichika wait!”

Ichika looks back, only smiling at them.