Archive of Our Own ^beta

Penelope Featherigton loved the countryside and, most of all, the beautiful estate of Aubury Hall. She had some cherished memories of spending much of the off-seasons there. This time, it was different. It would be her first time during the Holidays and her first time seeing all the Bridgertons, minus Colin since she mended her friendship with Eloise. She was excited to spend a week away from her mother and sisters, who despised country life. It was also the opportunity for Pen to finally wear those stunning dresses Gen had designed for her during the off-season. She smiled at the thought of what the new year could bring, and she reflected on the events of last season. She was now relieved that there were no longer secrets between them, well, almost no secrets she had yet to tell El about her feelings for Colin. The thought of Colin nearly brought tears to her eyes. At the end of the season, his words broke her heart: " I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington, not in your wildest fantasy fife." She long understood that her feelings would never be returned, but she at least hoped that he held enough affection for her not to belittle her in public at her family ball. That night was a turning point for her. She decided to let go of her childhood dream of Colin and make a match this coming season. She thought this was a perfect chance since she would meet some eligible country gentleman, even titled men, who, like her, preferred country life to city life. She thought that with her new wardrobe and hairstyle recommended by her new Lady's Maid, she could make introductions and catch the eye of a gentleman interested in courting her by the new social season. She was entering her 3rd season this spring and needed to get married. She wanted to escape her overbearing mother and have a sense of independence, running her own home and writing freely. She also longed to be a mother. Seeing her friend, Daphene, now the Duchess of Hastings, become a mother made her long for it even more. So, although this trip was to reconnect with Eloise, it was also a chance to show members of the ton that there was more to her than being the shy wallflower. They all thought her to be.

She admired the stunning snow cover views when she saw out the carriage window that she had arrived. As they approached the front of the house, she was greeted with hugs from everyone, including the new Viscountess Kate Bridgerton and Anthony . She was busy talking to Eloise when she heard the voice of the last person she wanted to see say her name " Pen" she gasped and turned around there stood Colin Bridgerton looking so handsome it made her weak. She gave him a half smile and said, " Hello, Mr. Bridgerton," and moved inside with his sisters without saying another word. He looked to Anthony and Benedict. " Did Pen just give me the cut direct ?" Colin was stunned and mumbled to himself, "She even called me Mr Bridgerton like I was a stranger." he frowns
" His brothers look at each other and then at him. Finally, Anthony speaks, "Colin, do you not remember?'
" Remember what ?"
Benedict looks at Anthologies , and he nods. " It was the night of the Feathington ball, and I was talking to Anthony in the gardens. When I returned to the ball, I saw her running away, crying. When I looked in the direction she was coming from, Colin, I saw you laughing with Fife. I don't know what was said, but Miss Featherington must have heard. She looked utterly broken, Colin. It took months for her to come back to the house. By the looks of today, you have made a mess of things.” Benedict knew what Colin had said and wrestled with telling him. Anthony said that Pen needed time to heal, Colin needed to find out for himself, and maybe one day he would realize that he loved Penelope. He used to wave off the multiple dances they shared at balls, but over the last season, he noticed how the way Colin looked at her had changed, and he was seeking her out even more. It was then that Anthony knew that his little brother would marry the sweet girl one day, but when he made that statement, he knew Colin would pay for those words. He hopes it's not too late for him. He knows what it is like almost to lose the love of your life.

When the brothers look back at Colin, whose face suddenly turns pale, "Oh my god, what have I done."
"Colin, are you ok ?"
" no, I am not. I just remembered what I said. I said I would never court her. Oh god, she must hate me, and that explains her cold behavior and why she never returned my letters. What have I done? He starts to have tears in his eyes. I can't lose her. I can't; she is my best friend." "Colin, I know you have denied it in the past, and we have teased you, but I am serious. Do you have feelings for Miss Featherington?
" I don't know. I thought I was in love before, but I don't know if I can trust knowing what love is. All I know is I must speak with her, but I need to clear my head. I am going for a walk."
The brothers left him alone with these thoughts and decided to join everyone for tea. Colin walked for what seemed like forever, and then it hit him like a bolt of lightning. why he always searched for her at every ball and danced with her. Why, he confided in her about everything, and her silence for the past several months was pure torture. He needed her. He felt like half of him was missing without her. This must be love. He had never felt this with Marina. Still, he couldn't trust his feelings yet. He was still angry at himself and more confused than ever. Was he in love? All he knew was that he had to fix things with Pen first, so he headed back for dinner and decided to head to his uncles George’s estate crake house to get ready for their guest to arrive. He headed downstairs to the formal dining room and visited with his Uncle Nicholas when he saw her descending down the staircase. She was a version in a forest green ball gown, and her hair was down, and she took his breath away. Has she always been this beautiful? His uncle saw him and smiled. He knew that look it was the same look he had when he fell for his wife, Georgie. Granted, their marriage was an arrangement at first, but before he even asked her to marry him, he saw her and realized that she was not the same girl she had grown up with but a stunning woman he could not keep his eyes off. Yes, his nephew was in love. Colin turns to him and asks.
"Uncle, when did you know you loved Aunt Georgie? "

" My father summoned me to return from Scotland from medical school right away. Your Aunt Georgie found herself in a bit of a scandal at no fault of her own, and my father asked me to consider marrying her to save her reputation; after all, we were best friends, and I cared deeply for her. I pushed back at first; I was not ready for marriage. I had a year of medical school left and was living in bachelor housing. He asked that I think about it, so that evening I was visiting with my brothers when I saw her enter the room. and I just knew that night changed my life. It was like I was asleep, and suddenly, I was awakened. When I confided in your father, he said that is how he felt about your mother and said friendship is the strongest foundation for marriage. I proposed the next day. With three children and 23 years of marriage, it was the best decision of my life. Why are you asking Colin? Have you found yourself in love ?"

" I think I am in love with Pen."
Nicholas chuckled. 'Oh, my dear boy, I know you are. I saw the way you looked at her. You have just been awakened, and if you want my advice, dont let her go.

Nicholas walks away, and Colin takes the opportunity to approach Pen, but she walks away and starts a conversation with his sister.

Throughout the whole dinner, he could not take his eyes off her, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into the library and apologize for everything and kiss her senselessly, but she wouldn't even look at him. How would he ever get to talk to her and explain everything?

After dinner, he approached her. " Pen, can we please talk? It's important."
"Mr. Bridgerton, I am afraid I will retire to the drawing room with your sister. It will have to wait."
H goes to grab her arm. Please, Pen "
"No, it is not proper to speak alone and as informally as we once did, if you excuse me." she goes into the drawing room to be with his aunts, sisters, and mother.

Upset, he storms into the parlor room with the men of his family and slumps into the chair.
" why are women so bloody infuriating.'
Anthony chuckles. " I take it your attempt to speak with Miss Featherington did not go well.'
"to say the least, I asked to speak with her, and she said no, she hates me, and I didn't even mean what I said. Fife was claiming I had taken certain liberties with her, and I could let her reputation be ruined. I panicked and blurted it out. Now I have lost the most important friend in my life."

His uncle Geroge chuckled. " You know your Aunt Billie, and I fought often growing up and often brought out the worst in each other, but I soon realized that what we had was passion, and your grandmother never knew this. One day, I just kissed her. It was after my brother Edward went missing during the war in the colonies, and I was full of emotions and anger. I couldn't go and help him, but she came and just listened and didn't let me pity myself. We fought, and all I knew was I needed her. Then I kissed her, and it was as if the world had stopped. And I asked her to marry me a few weeks later. No matter how hopeless it feels now, it will work out. I promise if you give her some space, you will find the right time to talk, and if I were you, I would confess your feelings; it is clear you love her, Colin."

In the meantime, in the drawing room, Pen enters and slumps next to Eloise
" Why do men have to be so infuriating?"

Violet and Georgie share a look, and Violet asks, " Penelope dearest, does this sudden opinion of gentlemen have anything to do with a certain son of mine ?" she smiles.
" I am so sorry, Mrs. Bridgerton. It seems Colin has just gotten under my nerves, is all I am sorry."
" for the 100th time, Penelope, it is Violet, and can I be frank with you?"
"
she nods
" Dearest, I have watched you grow into such a lovely woman, and I consider you one of my daughters. I have watched you and my son in ballrooms. I see how he scans the ballroom looking for you. I see the way he looked at you tonight. He loves you, my dear, and you love him, don't you?"
She couldn't deny it any longer. She looked at El, whose eyes went wide and turned to Violet.
" Yes, very much, but I am afraid you are mistaken. Colin made it clear he doesn't wish to court me."
Bille smiled. "Oh my dear, men often don't know their own minds; when Geroge first kissed me, it was in the middle of an argument. Colin is young, and you have been friends since childhood. It can be a very hard adjustment for men when you suddenly look at the same girl and see her differently. See her as a woman.
"Nicholas told me it was like being awakened from a deep sleep, and suddenly, he knew his life would never be the same."
" Edmund told me It was when he thought he lost me to another man."
" This is embarrassing, but he made himself clear the evening of my family ball. He stated to the tons most eligible gentleman, I may add, that he would never court me not in his wildest fantasies."
El jumped up and said, "I am going to throttle him."
"it's for the best that I found out his true feelings now so that I can focus on the next season. "

Violet frowned. "dearest, I know my son, and I know love, and that boy loves you. He may not fully trust his feelings, but he loves you."

"Just talked to him, Penelope, I promise. You will see that we all are earnest when we say he loves you."

" ok, I will talk to him tomorrow. We could go for a walk."

As the guest returned for the evening, Pen could not get the ladies' advice out of her head, and the more she thought about it, the more she needed answers. She was pacing her bed chamber when she heard Colin talking to Violet. She decided she needed to know, once and for all if Colin would ever feel more than friendship, and she needed an explanation for those awful words last season. She needed to close this chapter of her life if she would ever have a chance of marrying next season. So before she loses her nerve, she walks across the hall to Colin's bed chamber and waits for him to enter.

She hears his footsteps getting closer, and she starts to lose her nerve when he enters, locks the door, and starts to untie his cravat. Deep in his thoughts, he turns around and sees Pen standing in her sheer nightgown, looking like a goddess. He thinks he is dreaming, but he freezes when she calls his name and realizes it is her.
" what are you doing in my room Pen?"
" I couldn't sleep and needed to talk to you."
" Pen, you shouldn't be here."
" Yes, I know it's improper, but I needed to ask you something, and then I promise I will leave. It's not like you see me as anything but a sister. "

" Pen, that could not be further from the truth, which is why you should leave. We can talk in the morning."

"No, Colin, you owe me a moment of your time and an explanation for your heartless words last season. I heard you, Colin."
" I never meant them, Pen. You know I care deeply for you. Fife was implying that I took certain liberties with you. I couldn't let them think you were anything less than a gentle lady."
" oh yes, by saying you would never court me in front of the most eligible gentlemen of the ton, ensuring that what little hope I had at securing a match was now entirely gone. Colin, you must know your word has merit. You are a Bridgerton and the most eligible man on the marriage mart. If you deem me unmarriageable, the rest of your friends will follow. I know you would never consider courting me. That is not what I am upset about. What angers me, Colin, is you thought so little of me to laugh at the idea of it among friends just after you said I was important to you.
" Pen, I was in my cups that evening and not thinking clearly. They were implying I ruined you, and I panicked. "
" of course, god forbid someone would think you were attracted to a woman like me. Your reputation is far too important to consider mine."
" Pen, that is not true; any man would be lucky to be with you."
" Just not you, I see."
"damn it, will you stop putting words in my mouth "
" Colin, please tell me then how you saying you would never court me, not your true feelings. How I must be wrong, and after years of dreaming, you would look my way how I am wrong, and in fact, you do desire me."

He looks her up and down, and she can feel her skin start to heart. He moves closer to her and licks his leaps, and when their eyes meet, she sees a look she had never seen before, a look of pure lust in his eyes. he grabs her by the hips and pulls her forward into him, and she gasped.
" Pen, you are wrong. I very much desire you, and you are standing before me in nothing but your nightgown, and it's driving me to madness. I am a gentleman, but that is hanging on by a thread."
" Maybe I don't want you to be a gentleman for once."
he groans. "You have no idea what you are asking Pen."
" I may be an innocent Colin, but I am not nieve and rather well-read."
He pulls her closer, ghosting her neck just below her right ear with his lips." is that so? Then enlighten me, what have those books of yours taught you?"
"She gasps when he begins to suck on her neck."Despite what my mother has told my sisters and me, it can be rather enjoyable if one is in love."
" He moves to untie her nightgown but pauses, realizing that he is on the verge of losing the last fiber of control. "Do you want me to stop Penelope?" he is praying. She says no, for he wanted her, oh God, how much he wanted her.
"Colin, Please dont stop. "

" Pen, I have never done this before, and I have heard it can be somewhat painful for women the first time. Are you sure? I want nothing more than to sink into you and never let you go, but I want you to be sure that this is not just a moment of passing passion for me. Pen, I love you. I have for some time. If you dont love me, I need to know because I will not ruin you for anything less than love, Penelope."

She stood there in shock. Wait, you love me?

" Yes, if my actions tonight haven't proven it, let me clarify: I love you, Penelope Ann Featherington. With everything I am and ever will be, I love you because you are the most important person in my life besides my family. I love you for your strength, bravery, and wit; I desire you more than any woman I ever known; I love you for our past and future. I love that no matter how far I travel seeking my purpose and a place to belong when you have always been my home. The reason I returned early. Lastly, if you have me, I wish to marry you."

Pen was in tears. " Colin, I love you as much as I try to move on. You have always had a hold on my heart.
I will love you for the rest of my life, but are you sure you wish to marry me?

"I've never been more certain in my life. Will you marry me ?"
" She pulls him down and kisses him. " Yes, Colin Bridgerton, I will marry you. "

He picks her up and moves her to his bed. " I will speak with Anthony and Mother first thing in the morning, but I would like to make love to my wife. right now "

' I am not your wife yet, Mr Bridgerton."
" A mere technicality, Mrs Bridgerton."

She tries to respond, but he crawls up her body and kisses her with a passion she never knew one could have. She melts into his arms and kisses him with equal passion.

" I will not ruin you tonight, Pen, as I want our wedding night to be extraordinary, but I promise to give you immense pleasure."

What do you mean? He chuckles. " I thought you were well-read, my darling," he says while pulling her nightgown down and lingering kisses from her neck down to the valley between her breasts. Taking her left nipple into his mouth and sucking on it, she gasps.
" she is breathing heavily, her body a puddle of desire ' Novels only teach you so much.'
" very turn, my love."
he then moves, kissing her stomach, pulls her legs apart, and kisses up her thighs; his lips find the very place she needs him most

" Oh my god, Colin, what are you doing?"

" giving you a preview of our wedding night, my love."
She is in heaven. She never knew the marriage act could be like this, and she feels her body is about to combust. She feels her stomach tighten, her body tight, and every nerve is on fire.
" Colin, something is happening."
he looked up at her from between her legs, and she had never seen anything more arousing. "Let go, Pen."

Finally, she grabs a pillow to quiet herself and gives in to the pleasure
" she screams, "Colin."

he finally removes his lips from her, crawls back up her body, and smiles
"What was that? " she asks while trying to regain her breath
" That was what the French like to call the little death; it is when one reaches the pick of pleasure."
" she giggles. "I can see why," she kisses him." I love you, Colin."

" I love you too."
He pulls her into his arms and kisses her forehead, and they fall asleep content in each other's arms. Before dawn, he walks her across the hall to her room, gives her one last kiss, and tells her he will see her at breakfast. He slept for a few more hours but could not wait to go downstairs and talk to his brother. " " he sees his brother return from his morning ride with Kate. can I speak with you two for a moment?" he could see the smile on his brother's face and knew, "Yes, of course, should I call for Mother to?" " Yes, I will meet you in your study." Violet smiles as she walks in with Anthony and Kate. " Good morning, dearest. You wanted to speak to us?" " Yes, I wish to marry Pen, and I wish for your blessing and work like to pick a ring from the family collection." " Anthony was thrilled and hugged him and pulled away, giving him a stern look." Do we need a special license ?" Colion blushed. " No need for that." " Anthony chuckled. His brother is not telling me everything, but he trusted him "ok, good." " Violet and Kate were in tears, and both hung him and said how happy they were to have Pen officially a member of the family. they picked out a stunning diamond ring, and they headed down to breakfast and agreed to tell the family after the proposal After breakfast, Colin and Pen take a walk around the grounds when Colin pulls out a beautiful diamond ring." Penelope Featherington, will you marry me?"
she giggles. " I already said yes, but I will say it a million times. If you like, yes, Colin, I will marry you.
he pulls her in for a hug, swings her around, and kisses her. they walk hand in hand back to Aubury Hall. When they return, everyone is in the drawing room for afternoon tea.

" Family, I have asked Pen to marry me, and she said yes." he grabs her hand, showing everyone the ring.

They cheer when Nicholas pulls him aside. " Congratulations, Colin. Love is everything, and I wish you nothing but all the happiness in the world. I know your father would be thrilled. He did tell me when I first met Penelope that he was certain you would marry her one day."

" Well, mum always said one should marry your best friend. I am just happy she gave me a second chance."

Twenty-five years later, Colin would be telling his nephew Charlie this very story, grateful for the advice of a beloved uncle and for second chances.