Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Yuuji was not new to having vivid dreams.

He had had dreams before where it felt like he was in some sort of movie and racing the clock like an epic hero. He had also had dreams where they had made little sense as he went from the horror of showing up to class in his underwear to having to swim laps in a pool of pudding while his friends had to fight off zombies from eating the pudding because apparently both things were necessary for whatever plan.

Those were the dreams that Yuuji was use to.

The dream he found himself in felt so much more subdued than those frantic ones in comparision.

Yuuji had opened his eyes to find himself dressed in only a tank top and his boxers and sitting on a hill among gently waving grass and flowers under a picture perfect blue sky. It was the sort of day that just screamed of peace and the temperature, neither too hot or too cold felt nice against his skin. The feel of the ground beneath him and the tickle of the grass had him idly wondering if this was even a dream. But if it wasn’t, how the heck had he gotten to the middle of nowhere.

He raised a hand to pinch his cheek, feeling a bit of pain, but he didn’t jolt away or anything. Yuuji frowned, looking around before shaking his head. This had to be a dream.

No other explanation really made sense to his him.

The wind fluttered through the meadow and ran across Yuuji’s cheeks, making him smile some. It was a pleasant dream at least, more relaxing than anything. A sigh fell from his lips and he leaned back, resting his hands behind him eyes falling close to enjoy it all-

Then he let out a yelp of pain as a hand came down to grip onto his head and lift him up like he was some errant kitten needing to be thrown out. Yuuji’s eyes popped open and he struggled in the strong grip, grimacing as there was a touch of pain of nails digging against his scalp. He kicked and tugged, at the iron grip on his head, unable to really turn around to see who had grabbed him, but still, Yuuji felt his anger boil into foolish courage as he did his best to kick back at whoever held him.

“Put me the hell down!” Yuuji snapped, “I was just sitting here, minding my own business and-“

“Who are you?”

Yuuji blinked, stopping his struggle some as he recognized that voice. How could he forget that voice when he had to hear that very same voice insulting him on a daily basis?

Yuuji scowled as he crossed his arms, “Of course its you,” he growled, “Can you not just leave me alone in my dreams, Sukuna?”

The hand holding him let go and Yuuji hit the ground with a painful thud, making him wince. He finally could turn around as he rubbed at his head all but ready to give Sukuna a piece of his mind. He had expected to see Sukuna wearing his usual stupid smirk and sitting on his throne, but instead, Yuuji paused a moment, eyes widening a touch.

The Sukuna that stood before him was much taller with four arms, four eyes, and the strange wooden mask-like growth over half of his face. The clothing he wore of a time far in the past but elegant in black with the pattern of red trees over the hems of the large sleeves with cranes in dazzling displays along the side. The blue eyes were regarding Yuuji warily, but with some curiosity as he looked Yuuji up and down.

“You know my name,” Sukuna commented, “But I do not think I’ve met anyone who looked like you,”

“Of course I know your name! I wish I didn’t though!” Yuuji huffed as he got to his feet, brushing him off, “First you torment me when I’m awake, now you're invading my dreams! Don’t you have anything better to do?”

The four eyes narrowed, a touch of the more familiar disdain coming to his expression, “I would watch how you address me brat,”

Yuuji usually would head such warnings, more so because he didn’t like the feeling of being murdered and sent back into the waking world again. It always sent a shock in his system and had his pulse elevated for hours afterwards.

Now though, he was tired. Or more, he wanted to indulge in his pleasant dream of meadows and mountain views without having to bicker with the king of curses.

Yuuji reared himself up to his unimpressive height and shot a defiant glare right back at Sukuna, hands on his hips, “I don’t care what form you decide the take when invading my dream, you can just leave or just stand there quietly and don’t talk to me as I go over there, not near you, and enjoy this dream!”

He turned on his heels, stalking away down over the hill and out of sight. He eventually would come up to a nice cherry blossom tree where he plopped himself down to sit under, arms crossed as he looked out over the beautiful view.

Yuuji took in a deep breath and let it out, closing his eyes again. The air smelled sweet and fresh, without that hint of burning that could tickle his nose in the city center. He felt his body relax as he opened his eyes to take it all in and once more relax. That though was interrupted by someone sitting down heavily next to him, making him jump.

Yuuji turned his head to glare at Sukuna who just glared back, all four arms crossed over his chest. Yuuji gave a growl and shuffled a few inches away, “I thought I said you stay up there and I go where you aren’t part of the view,”

“You are an audacious brat to try and give me orders. Do you not know what I am capable of?” Sukuna commented.

“You mean kill me? Slice me up every which way?” Yuuji retorted, “You’ve done that a dozen times! It is getting so old now, I’m wondering if you can even be creative with how you end me!”

Sukuna was staring at him like he had grown two heads and it was making Yuuji frustrated that the king of curses was playing dumb with him, “I’ve killed you before?”

“Many times. You even ripped my heart out of my chest just because you were trying to see if I would take over the body and die or not,” Yuuji lifted his chin, still defiant, “And I did. Because you don’t scare me and I’m not scared of death,”

The king of curses smirked a touch, leaning in, “I can tell, given you dare to raise your eyes to look at me and speak as if you have authority over me,”

“Maybe I do. This is my dream, so I can do what I want,” Yuuji retorted.

He paused a moment, eyeing the king of curses before he rose to his feet and with every bit of reckless energy, he moved over to plop himself down into Sukuna’s lap, crossing his arms. Sukuna jolted, all four eyes widening as he looked down at Yuuji who just looked up with a pout, “And since you want to be a part of it, you have to be nice to me,”

“What are you-”

Yuuji grabbed the wrist of one of the four arms and put it on top of his head before grabbing two more to wrap around him, “Here. Do something not violent with me. You can pet me and call me all sorts of pretty names while hugging me,”

The king of curses sat there, looking all the more perplexed, but the irritation became more amusement as he chuckled, letting his fingers curl through Yuuji’s hair as he began to pet him, “You have little self-preservation to order me around like this,” he said, voice low against Yuuji’s ear, “To demand such things from me,”

“Because I’m sick of you and this is my dream and in my dream, I’m going to pretend you adore me,” Yuuji huffed, closing his eyes.

Those claws through his hair and against his scalp were pleasant and he found himself leaning into it like a pampered cat. He might have even purred if he didn’t feel a mouth against his neck, dragging teeth over his pulse.

“Hey!” Yuuji jumped, squirming then, only for the arms about him to tighten and keep him in place, “What the hell!?”

Sukuna gave a wide grin, eyes narrowing, “You looked rather lovely, relaxed in my arms. I couldn’t help but mm…get a taste,”

Yuuji eyed him, scowling, “I’m not on the menu,” he growled as he struggled more to get out of Sukuna’s grip, “Don’t make this weird with your cannibal habits!”

That had the king of curses chuckling, tugging Yuuji back in close, one hand moving to cup the back of his head as he leaned in, “You are too amusing to eat as that sort of meal. However, there are other “meals” I wouldn’t mind indulging in with you,” he said.

Yuuji opened his mouth to ask what kind of eating he was even talking about before the king of curses claimed his mouth in a heated kiss. It was not something Yuuji was expecting as he sat there, slack-jawed in that kiss, eyes wide in shock.

The kiss felt substantial but Yuuji had never actually kissed anyone in a dream like this.

Or in real life really.

Which had his cheeks flaming all the more as he raised a hand and with a bravery born out of his thinking he was still in the midst of a weird dream, he struck Sukuna hard across the face. The hit was enough to have the king of curses pulling back, blinking in shock and irritation. A slight sneer curled at the corner of his mouth as he regarded Yuuji, eyes narrowing, “Reckless brat, aren’t you?”

“You are suppose to ask people before you kiss them! It is called consent!” Yuuji huffed as he squirmed his way out of Sukuna’s grip and hopped up to his feet, “Geeze! I know you are probably like desperately horny or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you can just kiss me!”

Sukuna was staring blankly at him, “What are you on about now?”

“I’m going to leave now. You stay here or go wander off, I don’t care! I’m going to go somewhere where you aren’t and enjoy myself,” Yuuji huffed.

He turned on his heels again, leaving the king of curses to stare at him with an expression somewhere between intrigued, confusion, and irritation. Yuuji couldn't care less, picking up his pace to a light jog to put some distance between them as he grumbled under his breath. Why would his dreams even conjure up a four-armed Sukuna who would want to kiss him? That must be some sort of suppressed feeling for sure.

Feelings he sure as hell didn’t want to explore or think about. Maybe he was the one that was desperately horny or lonely to let his subconscious try and make a soft warm Sukuna?

That was also a horny bastard.

Yuuji slowed his pace when he felt that Sukuna was not around, rubbing his temples and looking about for something to lead him out of his dream. Some shock that would have him waking up back in his bed.

As he stood there though, he felt the creeping feeling of someone nearby and let out a groan as he looked over his shoulder to see Sukuna following him at a leisurely pace, all four arms crossed over his chest.

Yuuji growled and whirled around to point a finger at Sukuna with a heated glare,“I said stop following me!”

“And I don’t follow orders from an oddly dressed brat wandering around delusional in the highlands,” Sukuna retorted, “Who are you?”

Yuuji gave a roll of his eyes, not sure why Sukuna was playing dumb again. He slowly started to walk backwards as he lifted both his hans to clapse them like a blushing maid and batted his eyes sarcastically at the king of curses, “I’m a kami of loyalty, fallen out of the sky to be your one and only, oh king of curses,” He cooed sarcastically, “Should you save my wee little body from harm, being oh so heroic, I’ll forever be yours and become your queen and give you all the heirs and desires you wish!”

Sukuna stared at Yuuji blankly, “How irritating,” he drawled, “You speak like a bad prophecy,”

“Well yeah, because none of that happens. Actually your future is being stuck inside my body while the two of us scream at each other until our inevitable deaths,” Yuuji said with a shrug.

Sukuna snorted, “I think the first one is better,”

“Jokes on you. I don’t have a womb and no desire to be with a bastard like you who hates my guts,” Yuuji said, sticking out his tongue, “So guess that second one is your destiny bingo, Sukuna,”

Yuuji wasn’t watching where he was going nor really cared that Sukuna had stopped in his tracks, cocking his head as he watched Yuuji continued to walk backwards. For a moment he looked as if he would say something before he simply crossed his arms, cocking his head like a cat about to watch something terribly hilarious go down.

Yuuji snorted and was about to turn around when his foot slipped. He let out a yelp as he fell backwards into a fast moving river. The shock of cold water had him freezing for a moment, eyes wide, and panic hammering in his chest. He was sure dreams weren’t suppose to feel like this. This was the sort of thing that was suppose to wake a person up! Yuuji jolted, soon flailing as the fast moving current took him and pushed him into a thundering torrent of white water and rushing water.

Fear jumped up in Yuuji’s throat as he gurgled and thrashed about in the froth. He was bobbing along like a discarded plastic cup, unable to get his grip around any of the rocks. Some part of him vaguely was trying to get his feet up to try and just float down the river on his back and avoid getting caught and drowned, but it was easier said than done.

And why would he worry about drowning when this was all a dream still?

Yuuji went under the water again, gurgling and struggling, feeling a burning in his lungs before something seized him by the back of his tank-top and hefted him bonelessly out of the water. He coughed and sputtered, wheezing some as he shivered. Sukuna looked down at him with a smirk, the top pair of arms crossed, one hand holding him, the other one braced on a rock where he had straddled a narrow part of the river to fish Yuuji out.

“Does this count as my rescue, oh kami of loyalty?” He drawled with a sharp toothed grin.

“I guess?! But all I’m giving you is a shivery thank you handshake,” Yuuji sputtered out.

Sukuna gave a hum, “No, I think you said something about becoming my queen?”

The king of curses flung Yuuji ashore where the youth hit the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of him. He wheezed all over again as he rolled onto his back, watching as Sukuna easily jumped back to shore.

Yuuji struggled to sit up, shooting the curse a glare, “I was being sarcastic! Don’t tell me you don’t know what that is!”

“I know what it is, but I find it more amusing to ignore it,” Sukuna said with a smirk.

Yuuji’s eyes widened as Sukuna dropped down, all four arms caging him under the hulking form. All four eyes were staring down at Yuuji with undisguised want. Yuuji stared back, finally feeling that shiver of worry.

“Uh, Sukuna?” Yuuji said slowly, “Kind of in my personal space,”

“That is the point,” the king of curses’ voice dropped an octave as he cupped Yuuji’s face again, “I Like your bite. It makes me want to quiet that smart mouth until you speak to me with obedience,”

Yuuji stared wide-eyed as the king of curses leaned in, feeling the heat of the other man on top of him. He was pressed against him, eyes burning with want and then-

Yuuji yelped as he rolled out of bed, landing heavily on the floor in a tangle of sheets. His heart was beating out of his chest as he lay there, eyes wide before he let the breath in his lungs rush out.

“Just a dream,” He said with a sigh.

Then why were his clothes soaked through and why did he smell like river muck and a strange perfume that wasn’t any cologne he owned?

“Brat, where the hell were you?”

Yuuji blinked at the irritated words before he scowled, “I was asleep and just a small request, but could you not be in my dreams? Especially in my dreams trying to get super handsy?”

“What are you on about brat?” Sukuna drawled, “One minute I could feel your disgusting energy, the next it felt like I was alone in this damn prison of a body without any way to get control of it,”

Yuuji blinked, finding it weird but shrugged Sukuna’s words off with a huff.

“I was having a dream and four armed you was getting all sorts of in my space, pulling me out of a river, going to take my sarcastic response of becoming his queen as a fact, and was about to try and probably fuck me or something!” Yuuji retorted with a flush, “And I was not into it by the way! I did not have any reaction!”

Another lie. He had indeed had a reaction of his face going so red and his other head arriving to the party fully ready to have his first real erotic dream.

But he wasn’t about to admit that to Sukuna.

Yuuji was just going to ignore how he was having a weird attraction to the king of curses and play it off as he really needed to get out and see people more.

There was a long pause of silence as Yuuji fretted internaly with himself. One that only started to edge up Yuuji’s nerves and made him paranoia that somehow Sukuna new about his thoughts. Yuuji cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah so… keep out of my dreams!”

“Brat, I don’t think that was a dream,” Sukuna said slowly.

“You going to tell me you remember that happening in the past?” Yuuji drawled as he got back up to his feet, “Because I’m not going to believe it,”

“So you don’t want to be my queen?” Sukuna asked, a smirk clear in his voice.

Yuuji flushed, “It was a dream and I owe you nothing,” he grumbled before sliding into bed and curling up.

A chuckle escaped Sukuna, a touch of amusement in his voice that put Yuuji a tad more on edge.

“I didn’t have any memory of what you described, until recently,” He said with a slow smirk, “How strange,”

“What is strange is acting all mysterious,” Yuuji grumbled as he tugged his blankets back around himself.

Sukuna gave a small hum before his voice dropped an octave, making Yuuji shiver, “Well, when you go to sleep this time, try not to astral project your soul into the past?” he drawled, “You don’t want to change too much do you? Or make me want to hunt you down to make you mine?”

Yuuji pulled a face, feeling his cheeks heat up, “Go fuck yourself on a cow skull,” he grumbled before burying his face into his pillow while Sukuna’s laugh echoed in his mind.

Chapter Text

Even days later, the dream was still fresh in Yuuji’s mind.

The dream stuck in his mind more like a memory for how real it felt. He could still feel the wind on his face, the grass against his bare feet, and even the chill of that river after he unceremoninously plunged into it.

He also could recall the warmth of Sukuna’s hand and body when he had pressed closer near the end of it. That last little tidbit still had Yuuji furiously blushing whenever his mind turned it over and he did his best to try to bury it deep. This was Sukuna he was thinking about and yes, the four-armed version of his dream had felt different than the bastard inside of him, it was still the same person.

Even if the more he played over the encounters, Yuuji could not shake the fact that he felt like he was meeting two different people. The Sukuna in his dreams, despite a far more monstrous appearance, complete with a towering height, four arms, and a mouth on his stomach, felt like he was far more relaxed. There wasn’t this constant desire or threat of him about to cause mass destruction and pain at the drop of a pin. There was a marked curiosity and although the irritation and biting comments remained, they lacked the usual spite and heat that were involved.

The Sukuna in his dreams was a far more patient predator secure in his domain and all he saw. Which was in direct contrast to the spiteful, hateful version that lived in Yuuji’s soul. The one who killed and destroyed with absolute pleasure and delighted in tormenting Yuuji with all his failures.

Everytime Yuuji closed his eyes, he could hear the Sukuna he knew well laughing and mentioning all those he had lost in Shibuya. How the Sukuna he knew mocked his pain and seemed to relish in every moment of it.

How could the same people be so different?

The thought haunted Yuuji as he slumped forward against the desk in his room, eyes barely focused on the show he had put on his computer to just try and pass time and distract his thoughts. With everything that had happened after Shibuya, all the familiar faces that were gone and the school itself breaking down completely, everything had felt in a limbo. There were no clear directions in what was expected of him or what the next steps even were. No one approached him about going to find fingers or even to try and find a way to better restrain the lunatic that lurked in his body.

All the things that had helped to make this whole situation feel somewhat normal were gone and Yuuji felt all the more isolated and alone for it. Even Megumi and him barely talked now, as if there was someone missing now that had been the forced that made all conversation easier.

A hole existed now and it was still so uncertain if it would remain that way or not.

Yuuji stared listlessly at his computer monitor, practically boneless and barely even taking in the plot of what he was watching. It was some vague drama with enough episodes he could binge it from now until eternity at least, but who the characters were and what they were even doing was beyond his mind to comprehend.

His mind instead kept drifting to that dream.

There, beneath clear blue skies with nothing but mountains and forests around him, spread out in a green splendor, Yuuji had felt a sense of peace that had he had never felt before. Even if he had ended up getting dunked in a river and unceremoniously fished out by Sukuna, in all the banter, there felt like a spark of fire in him that had since sputtered out in the real world to a dim glow of embers.

He could almost say he felt a spark of some emotion other than the radio static malaise that clouded his mind now.

Not to mention Sukuna had not been horrible towards him. If anything, the way the four-armed Sukuna of his dreams spoke to him, had seemed curious about him, had quipped back almost playfully like Yuuji was something truly worth his attention, something about that soothed something aching in Yuuji. It was something almost normal.

It was something almost pleasant after to long of forgetting what it meant to have something pleasant and a part of him yearned so much that he could somehow pull that dream back out of memories and lay in it again and again to grasp onto that feeling some part of his soul so desperately wanted.

With a sigh, Yuuji closed his laptop and leaned against it as his gaze slid over to his bed.

Nothing was stopping him from just going to bed early today. Not like he wanted to do much else but sleep these days. Depression was what Shoko wanted to label it and she was doing her best to gently urge him to go to therapy or see a professional to help cope. Yuuji liked to call it living with Sukuna who was a mental illness onto himself at this point.

At least Sukuna was being quiet today rather than a mantra of horrid sneers and enough emotional abuse for an entire documentary.

Maybe, if some force of mercy was out there, he could have a break and get something he wanted in life that wasn’t concern of the few people left that only made him feel worse.

Yuuji pushed himself to his feet and shuffled towards his bed. He stripped down to just his boxers before crawling over the covers and flopped forward to bury his face into his pillow, his eyes falling closed. For a moment he squirmed about as he tried to get comfortable and will his sluggish mind to sleep. At the same time, he bent every thought towards somehow getting back into that dream, even if Sukuna was stalking around in it.

It had been a pleasant time and it ripped into his memory like a balm. It was a relief that was better than the other, darker little murmurs that would creep up that Yuuji quickly pressed away.

Dream or not, at least he could escape, for a moment, to somewhere that was a bit more pleasant and not so achingly lonely.

Yuuji wasn’t even aware when he did fall asleep.

One moment his brain was musing sleepily over what even caused the dream in the first place and the next, he was standing in the middle of a village.

It wasn’t a huge village, perhaps about two dozen homes lined up against a single road that expanded out around a central area where a few larger homes sat. All of them were built in a style that dated them back to thousands of years in the past easily with their slumping roofs and stilted look. All of them were very homely and rustic, adorned with various decorations that were more of items of use than sweeping artwork or finery.

As Yuuji stood there looking around in a bit of confusion at it all and trying to get his bearings, he was aware more and more of the few villagers who had been outside their homes and nearby gawking at him as if they had seen some ghost appear among them. Some even made symbols against evil and murmured prayers as they took hasty steps back into the relative shelter of their home.

Others though were creeping forward, armed with simple tools and warily looking Yuuji up and down.

Yuuji felt unease creep up the back of his neck at that, but he raised his hands, giving an uneasy smile as he did so, “Uh, I mean you no harm! Just you know, passing through. Going other places. Not going to linger long I swear!”

The villagers remained silent, although a few were whispering among themselves as they regarded Yuuji with a mix of uncertainty, awe, fear, and for some, a dawning realization as if they had somehow been informed of him.

That last one had Yuuji giving a nervous chuckle and taking a few more steps back from the crowd of armed villagers, “So, nice to meet everyone. You all look really busy doing village stuff, so I’ll just be-”

“It’s him! It has to be him! The one with a bounty on his head to be captured alive!”

Yuuji jumped at the outburst, eyes widening. There was a murmur now in the crowd and Yuuji found himself back pedaling just a few steps faster, “What me? A bounty? Of course not! You have the wrong person!”

“Are you the Kami of loyalty and devotion!?” One of the men at the front of the crowd demanded.

Yuuji blinked, “Uh, depends on who’s looking for that?” He said slowly as he only ever said that to Sukuna. How these villagers would know that had him feeling confusion mixed with all the more unease.

“His hair is pink like the description and he wears clothes that are strange,” Another man growled, “He is the one! His capture will be a boon for our village! Get him!”

At the order, the whole crowd lurched forward with a holler. Yuuji didn’t try to say another word and quickly turned around and began to book it out of the village. His speed helped to easily upace the villages as he rushed up into the woods about the village, but he had little idea of where to go and wasn’t keen on just ending up lost in the woods.

A part of him wanted to just cry as he had yearned for a nice dream and ended up in a weird situation with people wanting him for a bounty and chasing him around the mountains for some purpose. He could have laughed at how ridiculous a sight he probably made, running barefoot in his boxers across fields with a horde of Heian era villagers shouting after him.

He was quick to duck into the woods and from there, find a stout tree. Yuuji easily hauled himself up into the tree tops and onto a sturdy branch where he laid out against it like a spooked cat. The villagers rushed by below him, none of them thinking to look up and probably assuming he was still galloping through the underbrush like a spooked deer. The thick foliage only helped to hide him away. Still, he held his breath, eyes carefully scanning the area below him, his entire body taunt.

Slowly though he relaxed. He let out a soft sigh of relief as there was no noise of anyone else approaching. Yuuji slumped more against the branch and now let his arms and legs dangle out around it as he closed his eyes and rested his cheek against the rough bark, “So much for a relaxing dream,” he murmured.

He lay there a few moments as he listened to the rustle of the wind through the leaves of the tree and the soft call of birdsong all around. It slowly began to ease the tension from his body as he couldn’t recall the last time he had actually let himself indulge in some down time like this. It felt like a balm on his soul and he probably would have dozed up in that tree.

That is, if not for how the tree suddenly jerked and started to tip over with a loud crack.

Yuuji’s eye snapped open as he felt the tree falling out from under him and he scrambled to try and grab onto the branch. The rush of gravity though had pulled it out of his reach and he let out a shriek as he flailed unceremoniously in the air. Leaves rushed up all around him and practically tried to swim in the air like a drowning man as the ground below rushed up. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as he waited for the crack of the ground and no doubt the jolt waking him up from this dream.

Instead, he felt the warmth of arms about him and hands holding him secure. Yuuji’s eyes popped open and he lay there in shock, staring over at the now fallen tree and the all too clean cut through its trunk that had felled it easily. Slowly his gaze dropped to the four hands holding him, attached to four muscular arms, and followed them to the familiar grinning face of the king of curses as he looked down at Yuuji with a pleased grin.

“Well now, that is twice I’ve saved you,” Sukuna commented, “Does that count for something, oh kami?”

Yuuji blinked before he felt his face flushing as he growled and looked away, “I wasn’t in any danger though! Was completely fine in my tree!”

“Well, from where I stood, you looked rather stuck up in that tree,” Sukuna teased, “So I cut it down and caught you,”

“Wait, you cut the damn tree down!? Then you put me in danger!” Yuuji protested, now squirming in the grip of the king of curses.

“You were never in any danger, you wild brat,” Sukuna said with a smirk, “I would have caught you,”

Yuuji shot him a look, “Yeah well, I was happy in my tree where a bunch of villagers weren’t trying to chase my ass down for some bounty!”

Sukuna gave a cock of his head before he let out a chuckle, “Ah, so my bounty did get people’s attention. It had been a week or two since I placed it and thought everyone was just ignoring it,”

Yuuji stared at Sukuna, “You...put a bounty on me?”

“Not like you gave me a name or place where I could find you, now did you?” Sukuna said with a smirk, “Offering a bounty to find someone who amused me and then who vanished so suddenly was the best option,”

Yuuji could feel his head spinning as he tried to process all this. It was one thing for Sukuna to be back in the dream again, but now he was acting like Yuuji had been here before and just left, as if time had actually passed between now and their last meeting. It had him squirming some, giving a wary look to the curse which was returned with an amused arch of an eyebrow.

“You look at me like you expect me to bite you,” Sukuna said with a cock of his head.

“I’m sure you would like to just rip into me and eat me up,” Yuuji growled, “Cut me into a hundred little pieces and splatter me across the mountains,”

“Would be a waste of time really,” Sukuna said with a shrug as he started to walk along, still carrying Yuuji in his arms, “I don’t particularly like to destroy interesting things before I get a feel for if they are worth keeping or not,”

“You never found me interesting before,” Yuuji retorted, still on edge and made all the more so as he couldn’t seem to get out of the curse’s grip.

Sukuna shot him a confused look, “I found you interesting on our first meeting,” he commented with a shake of his head, “The way you speak of me, it feels like you know me but I know nothing about you,”

Those words gave Yuuji some pause, but he wasn’t about to lower his guard just like that. His mind was rambling about how none of this was really adding up. The Sukuna that was holding him was clearly more of the Heian period look to him and seemed to have no idea of who Yuuji was and found him a rather amusing find. There was something far more easy-going in his countenance, as if he was unhurried by anything and not set upon any amusement in particular.

Not kindness per say, but there wasn’t that violent, feral edge that persisted around the Sukuna he knew.

The curiosity was something entirely new to Yuuji as well as this Sukuna seemed more interesting in trying to figure out Yuuji than just dismissing him as an inconvenience.

Yuuji gave a huff, looking away, “I know a version of you maybe,” he finally said, “One that is a fucking bastard who makes my life miserable. Everything I do is met with vicious words and spite. He kills me as many times as he like and destroy things and then shows it to me with so much pride,”

The image of Shibuya laid to ruin had Yuuji shuddering and a lump in his throat as he tensed up all the more and he curled up more as he kept his gaze away from Sukuna, “So forgive me if I don’t want to trust you at all and just want to be left alone by you,”

He expected some vicious retort or something dismissive. Instead Sukuna gave a small hum as he kept is gaze forward, now carrying Yuuji through the village, “I suppose I would do something like that,” He finally said, “But I have not done that to you here,”

“Does it matter if it was you now or you some other time?” Yuuji snapped.

“I say it does,” One of Sukuna’s hands rose up to force Yuuji to look at him with a gentle nudge.

It was reluctantly that Yuuji met the blue eyes of Sukuna, not the red ones he was so very used to at this point. He squirmed some, hating how Sukuna was letting his gaze trace slowly over Yuuji’s face as if trying to look for something. Yuuji just glowered back, frowning with a hint of a guarded sneer on his lips.

“The one you know has truly tarnished such a pretty face with such an awful look,” Sukuna commented, “Now I wonder what it would take to make you look upon me as if you weren’t expecting me to cause you harm,”

The comment took Yuuji a bit off guard and he stared in confusion at the curse before he gave a huff, “Well, how about you don’t murder or destroy villages just because it is fun and then show it off to me just to try and break me?”

“Done,” Sukuna said, “Just as long as you manage to keep me entertained,”

Yuuji blink before sitting up more in Sukuna’s arms, “Wait, just like that? Just… keep you entertained and you won’t do any of that shit?”

“You sound skeptical,” Sukuna said with a smirk.

“Because I am!” Yuuji said, eyes narrowed, “You just promised not to...not to do things you do like it was the easiest thing in the world! Not even a fucking insult!”

Sukuna gave a snort, “Do you want me to verbally rip you apart and do everything that you seem to hold in distaste, or will you simply agree to these terms so I can see if you are worth my attention at all? I don’t have to extend any kindness to you brat, but I don’t have the patience to play nice until you figure out what you want,”

Yuuji blinked and pulled back a bit at those words and the slight tinge of exasperation that sounded more familiar to him. There were signs of the Sukuna he knew after all in there and some part of him said that was enough for him to turn this down and wake up and just forget this ever happened.

Another part of him though felt that this Sukuna was...different. Different enough that he seemed able to reign in some of his worst temperaments for a period of time without much fuss.

Just enough that Yuuji could not fight the small kernel of curiosity curling up inside him.

“Fine,” Yuuji grumbled as he crossed his arms.

“No need to act so put upon,” Sukuna said with a smirk, “I promise to treat you very well,”

“It is just, it is you I’m agreeing to something with,” Yuuji growled out as he looked away again, noting how empty the village was as they walked through, “It feels weird when usually you just want to break me and relish in my pain like some lunatic,”

The village was even more quiet as they passed through.Every door and window was shut and any poor soul that was caught outside quickly dropped to their hands and knees to keep their gaze to the ground as if expecting some horrible fate if they dared to look upon the king of curses. Sukuna paid all of it little mind, gaze ahead, almost bored with the shows of frightened respect.

The reaction though of the villagers of Sukuna kept Yuuji wary still. He was reminded too much of how the Sukuna he knew made a point that he hated inferior souls daring to look upon him as he sat upon his throne of carnage.

Yuuji squirmed some, and dared to look up at Sukuna though, eyes narrowed in a small show of defiant as he crossed his arms, mulling over what to say before he sighed, “So other than murder and destruction, what sort of things do you even do for fun?”

“A variety of things, but nothing I’m too keen on doing right this moment,” Sukuna said before pausing a moment. A slow smirk touched his lips as he glanced down at Yuuji, “Well, except maybe one thing,”

That wide grin had Yuuji blushing as he recalled how their last encounter had gone and how very intent Sukuna had been on getting a bit more heated by the end of it. Yuuji loudly cleared his throat and looked away, “Another time for whatever you got in mind in your head,”

“Aw, no fun,” Sukuna said with a sigh, “You look rather sturdy and not prone to literally break in half in bed,”

Yuuji paled at those words as he immediately thought of some poor soul screeching as Sukuna broke their back in the middle of fucking. An image that made Yuuji grimace as he could totally see Sukuna doing something so twisted.

“Let’s not. I like my back in two pieces and my body not a pile of broken bones, thank you. That shit hurts,” Yuuji grumbled.

“Then what do you want to do for fun?” Sukuna asked.

Yuuji’s mind blanked on the question before he was kicking himself mentally that he should have expected it. After all, he had to keep Sukuna amused or he may just wander off to kill someone. It felt like in that moment, he could do something now to actually save a life and yet his stupid brain was spinning about in circles for any little bit of activity that would be even a little bit interesting to someone like Sukuna that didn’t involve killing, eating people, or trying to cause him emotional trauma.

“Uh, well, I never actually tried alcohol before? Maybe like, trying some fancy wine or sake or something?” Yuuji squeaked out and feeling so dumb for suggesting something so utterly mundane.

That had Sukuna cocking an eyebrow and the amused smile only growing larger, “I have some rare finds at my home that I suppose I could open if you want to take a sip,”

“I guess?” Yuuji stammered, “Just a sip or two and see if I even like it,”

“It should be good vintage for such a virgin tongue,” Sukuna said with a smirk as one hand raised up to tap against Yuuji’s lips almost playfully.

Those words and the touch to his lips had Yuuji flushing all over again and he quickly covered his mouth with one hand as he looked away, “Did you have to say it like that? Making me sound like some blushing maiden you picked up off the side of road,”

“You’ve never drank and you kiss like a catfish which speaks of inexperience,” Sukuna said as he glanced down at a flustered Yuuji, “I think your mouth is very much a virgin, but that is something I can help with, if you want to change that,”

Yuuji was pretty sure his face was a new shade of red by that point. He felt insecurities that came with lack of experience in life mixing with a bit of frustration of himself for letting Sukuna get him blushing like this. The words were biting but also playful, so unlike the Sukuna he knew.

He would even say that the Sukuna carrying him to who knows where was probably flirting with him.

Which just had Yuuji wondering what strange dream he really was in.

“I can fix that myself when I feel like it!” Yuuji sputtered out at last.

“If you insist, but I rather like the taste of your lips, if you want to ever practice, oh catfish kami of loyalty,” Sukuna said with a wider smirk and a wink of two eyes.

Yuuji felt himself blush all over again and he looked away, glowering at the landscape, “bastard,” was the only half-hearted retort he could come up with that only earned him a low chuckle for his attempt.

The sorcerer shifted a bit before glancing ahead at the road as the village fell behind them, “Where are you even taking me?”

“Oh, just my home,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “It isn’t far from here and it will afford us more...privacy,”

Yuuji swallowed at how Sukuna said the word privacy as if already savoring a most anticipated meal. Knowing the king of curse’s reputation, it wasn’t entirely out of the question he might be imagining putting Yuuji in a cooking pot to make some Itadori flavored ramen dish.

“Ah,” Yuuji murmured, feeling a bit of tension creep its way up his spine again.

However, as Sukuna had mentioned, the home of the king of curses was not far from the village. Perhaps at once time the place had belonged to some rich lord of the land as the entire structure was huge. Yuuji’s eyes widened as he took in the grand gate to the manor, decorated lavishly with carvings and signs of wealth that would have fit in well with the emperor’s home itself.

The inner courtyard of the manor was picturesque with an outward facing balcony that gave a perfect view of the whole valley. It felt like a place a king would reside, decorated lavishly and with rooms piled high with an assortment of treasures that had Yuuji staring as they passed by on their way to the central building of the compound. There seemed no order to any of what Sukuna had collected and it made Yuuji think of a dragon hording things that had some perceived value to be kept away from all unworthy eyes.

“You own all this stuff?” Yuuji asked, eyes wide as they passed by another room filled with items.

“I do, but it doesn’t bring as much joy as you think it would,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “I can have anything I want, when I want it. All I have to do is say a word and the whole of the countryside will lay it at my feet,”

“So it doesn’t make you happy?”

That caused Sukuna to pause, tilting his head in thought before he gave a small chuckle, “I suppose it doesn’t,” he admitted, “But I wouldn’t want anyone else to enjoy it. Much of what you see here is one of a kind. Sometimes the craftman is no longer alive just to ensure the worth of it in my collection,”

Yuuji swallowed as they approached the central building that was no doubt the personal quarters of the king of curse, having to suppress a shiver, “That sounds very much like you,” he murmured.

Sukuna shifted his grip on Yuuji, a familiar smirk on his lips as he set Yuuji down, “I’m not without my vices,” he said simply as he turned to approach the doors of his home, “And not without my want to own things of a unique quality,”

Sukuna put all four hands against the elegant pair of doors that were decorated with beautiful raging tigers pouncing towards unsuspecting prey. With little fanfare, Sukuna threw the doors opened and stepped inside to a room just a lavish as the rest of the place, although it was piled more with silks and pillows of all sizes, blankets that were handwoven and one of a kind in their brilliance.

Yuuji stood in the doorway, gawking at it all and feeling like he wasn’t even worthy of stepping in less he get even a small bit of dirt on anything in the room. The floors were covered with rugs that had no doubt come from lands far away and worth their weight in gold. Sukuna moved across it without a care to what he tracked in as he moved to a beautiful carved cabinet tucked in the corner.

He opened it and rubbed his chin as he eyed the collection of various bottles and containers within before pulling out one and turning towards Yuuji with a lift of his eyebrow.

“Well? Are you going to come in or simply stand in the doorway with your mouth hanging open to catch flies?” Sukuna drawled with a hint of amusement.

“Uh, sorry, just, uh,” Yuuji wiped his bare feet some with a flush, “Kind of don’t want to get your stuff dirty,”

“It can all be cleaned,” Sukuna said with a wave of his hand, “Just come over here and sit,”

Yuuji shuffled into the room, looking at all the wealth around him and wondering how Sukuna would ever feel bored when it seemed he had the literal world to call his own. There were handcrafted boards for various games of the times. Fans that were probably meant to be used in exotic dances and a dozen of carefully crafted instruments of the highest quality.

A box of unused watercolor paints occupied one corner with brushes made of the softest hairs. A never touched loom of polished wood waiting for a masterpiece to finally be woven occupied another. A pile of fishing poles with bait leaned up in a corner yearning to one day touch water.

Everywhere Yuuji turned there were a hundred things to do, but it all was left untouched.

It all felt so lonely to be surrounded by such wealth and not even to enjoy it.

It made Yuuji think of himself, sitting there watching an unending stream of dramas on his laptop without enjoying a single minute of it. Surrounded by so much, and yet nothing to do, nothing that invoked any sense of joy.

It tugged at Yuuji as he lowered himself slowly to sit before the king of curse as Sukuna poured out drink for both of them. The king of curses seemed lively now, eyes glinting and almost eager to share such a rich gift with Yuuji, even if it might go to waste.

Yuuji felt something like a smile tug at the corner of his lips.

“Take a careful sip,” Sukuna said with a touch of a smirk as he nudged a cup towards Yuuji, “Wouldn’t want you to gag on your first taste,”

“I’m not that much of a baby!” Yuuji grumbled as he picked up his cup of sake and swirled around a bit before he dared to stick out his tongue to touch the liquid.

It was strong and bitter and make Yuuji’s whole face seize up like he had sucked on a lemon. He pulled a face but tried his best to dare the tiniest bit of a sip. Sukuna watched him with clear amusement as he took a sip of his own drink with one hand from where he was lounged. He was trying not to laugh as Yuuji slowly set his cup down, smacking his lips and trying to look like he was merely trying to sort out the flavor.

“Any good?” Sukuna asked, although he knew well the answer.

“It is good, but I can only have one sip,” Yuuji returned, voice tight.

“You look like you just drank straight ox piss,” Sukuna teased before taking another sip, “This is one of my finest bottles. A vintage older than the elders of the village over yonder,”

Yuuji flushed some, and picked up the cup, “Uh, you don’t say? So it is suppose to be good?”

“A very good taste actually, for the more trained mouths,” Sukuna said with a hint of a smile over his cup.

“Ah,” Yuuji took another dainty sip and pulled another face, “I guess I can’t get past the first kick of it,”

Sukuna chuckled, “Would be a shame to have a whole cup go to waste,” he lamented as he set his nearly finished cup of sake down, “I think I know how to distract you from the kick so you may enjoy it fully,”

Yuuji blinked, staring up at the larger man as he slid over beside him, “You do? What, you got some old sake drinking trick?”

“The best kind of trick,” Sukuna said with a glint in all four of his eyes.

One of the four arms of the king of curses came up to gently wrap about the hand Yuuji was using to hold the cup of sake and smoothly guided it up to his lips. Yuuji stared, feeling his cheeks heat as Sukuna downed the cup’s contents in one slow sip before two hands came up to cup Yuuji’s face.

Before he knew it, Sukuna’s lips were on his own, that tongue easily prying Yuuji’s mouth open and he felt the wash of sake over his tongue. He didn’t even a pull a face or register the taste of it as Sukuna kissed him so deeply. He sat there, doing his best impression of a catfish, just as Sukuna had teased him of earlier, mouth agape, staring, and barely giving any response back.

Yuuji swallowed the sake down, blushing as he felt a swipe of Sukuna’s tongue against his own and then over his lips as the king of curses pulled away with a smirk.

“How does it taste now?”

“Tastes good,” Yuuji mumbled out in a daze.

Sukuna chuckled, letting his thumb slide over Yuuji’s cheek, “It is rather adorable how you don’t know what to do with yourself whenever I kiss you,” Sukuna teased, “You just sit there like you can’t believe what is going on,”

“Honestly I can’t,” Yuuji admitted, “Because the you I know would sooner bite his tongue off than do anything like that with me,”

“His loss then,” Sukuna leaned in, grinning wide and eyes narrowing, “And all mine to gain,”

The throaty rasp of want that slipped into those words had heat shooting through Yuuji. He felt his breath hitch and he hated how easily he just wanted to give in to whatever it was Sukuna wanted. There was a raw sort of want in those four eyes that was so intense it had Yuuji’s mind reeling.

A part of him screamed to remember Shibuya and what this bastard was capable of.

Another part though was putting that all on the Sukuna he knew in a different time and place and that the one before him, the four armed monster of a man that was burning eyes and a lazy, but still so confident grin, was something different.

“I haven’t had someone that awoke amusement in me like you do,” Sukuna said, voice low as he leaned over Yuuji, slowly nudging the sorcerer onto his back, “Drinking sake had become a dull pastime, so mundane, but seeing you try it, struggling around with trying to stomach a mouthful,”

Hot breath trailed over Yuuji’s neck as he swallowed hard, “It made it enjoyable again,” Sukuna murmured.

“Well, I did say I was here to entertain you,” Yuuji stuttered out, “I’m glad my inability to drink alcohol was entertaining and worth wasting a bottle of supposedly really expensive stuff?”

“Worth every drop of it,” Sukuna assured with a lazy grin as he pressed a hard kiss over Yuuji’s pulse before sitting up more.

Two hands were cupping his face as the king of curses leaned in again, those lips brushing against Yuuji’s “And I want to try every drop of you too,”

Yuuji let his eyes flutter closed and his hands rose to trail over the biceps attached to the hands cupping his face. If this was a dream, it was a damn good one. He felt out of his mind and giddy. There was a warmth, a feeling of being wanted and being safe that had been so long gone. Just the creature comfort of warm hands and a warm body above him that had him melting.

What would be wrong with just staying here, letting that mouth kissing its way across his jawline and towards his jawline devour him mind, body, and soul for a few sweet moments.

Yuuji let out a soft groan reaching up then to pull Sukuna closer and just throw caution to the wind to indulge only to have his arms wrap around nothing.

And the warmth on top of him vanishing like it hadn’t been there.

Yuuji blinked as he sat in bed, arms wrapped about empty air.

It was another dream.

A dream, but he could still taste the unmistakable tang of sake on his tongue. He licked his lips, tasting that hint of spice that dominated the taste of Sukuna’s mouth when he had kissed him.

He raised a hand to rub over his neck and wondered if he looked, if there would be the mark of teeth where Sukuna had left a mark.

“Back again from your dream?” the snide voice in his head asked, “Or are you finally going to realize it is a bit more real than you think?”

Yuuji flushed and he scowled, but he wouldn’t answer those questions. The prickle up the back of his neck was chasing away the pleasant thrill of the dream. Yuuji could deny it was real, but he wasn’t so stupid. Once was strange, especially as he woke up soaking wet and smelling like a river.

Twice though, waking up with the taste in his mouth he couldn’t deny, that was no coincidence.

“How?” Was all Yuuji asked, although he didn’t expect an answer.

“Probably your soul just crying out for something so desperately, it projects itself somewhere else in time and space,” Sukuna drawled, “I do not think it is entirely good for your health either to be throwing your soul into the past like that. Especially given how time will still pass,”

Yuuji scowled a touch, glancing away as his hands fisted some against his knees, “Yeah well, the you in the past is a lot better to talk to than the you now,”

“We are the same person,” the voice in his head sneered, “So why would you need to go back when you have me right here, hm?”

A chuckle echoed around Yuuji’s head and he practically felt the curse inside of him leaned in close with his voice at his ear, “I can treat you just as sweetly if that is all you want, you know. I wouldn’t take you for being so arousing, had I not seen how you became so compliant under me like that in the past,”

Yuuji tensed and he felt a slight growl escape him as his eyes narrowed, “I’ll pass with you,”

There was a moment of pause before Sukuna spoke again, a hint of more irritation in his voice, “You’ll pass with me?” he repeated, “What, do you think myself in the past is some different person? Someone you just dreamed into being?”

Yuuji gritted his teeth some as he looked away, “It feels like a different person,”

Laughter erupted from Sukuna, jarring and making Yuuji start to ground his teeth as he flushed more, “Oh how precious! You threw yourself into the past to see me because you think how I was then is any different than how I am now. Absolutely adorable!”

The mocking laugh returned and Yuuji fought back his own retorts as he knew it would just get further comments from the king of curses.

He didn’t want to talk about how … safe he had actually felt with the past Sukuna. That there was that casual talk of death and harm, but how Sukuna was had been lacking the mean-spirited spite that the current one laughing at him had. Yuuji raised a hand to put it over his mouth as he glanced away, remembering the near tenderness of that kiss he had shared.

The want in Sukuna’s eyes for him. The delight and amusement that had lit up the curse’s face as he watched Yuuji sputter over something so simple as Yuuji trying to sip sake. It felt as if Yuuji being there had added something new to his life that he didn’t have among all his wealth. Something more alive was in Sukuna’s eyes when he was in the past that was dulled now in the present.

Yuuji closed his eyes and slipped out of bed. Sukuna’s laughter had died to a small hum and he could just imagine him slumping back on his throne, all too pleased, red eyes gleaming with distaste for Yuuji, as if everything about him was an inconvenience…

“I think I might just go back there later. Hang out more with past you,” Yuuji said quietly as he began to dress, “I like talking to him,”

“You can always talk to me, brat,” Sukuna drawled, “And I’m right here,”

“He looks at me differently than you do,” Yuuji said, feeling that lonely ache in his chest.

“Does he now,” Sukuna drawled, “And how does my past self look at you?”

Yuuji stood there, staring at the door before he finally gripped the handle and stepped out to leave, “He looked at me like I was someone worth being seen. Like I was someone that he wants to know and learn about and not just something to abuse,”

He closed his eyes, “Like I was worth keeping close, like any of his other treasures and he won’t just hurt me because it is some sick amusement,”

There were no further comments from the curse inside of him and Yuuji let out a sigh, perhaps a touch grateful for that. No doubt the Sukuna he knew was rolling his eyes, sneering, and finding the conversation too pathetic to make fun of at that point.

Which was fine. Because that Sukuna wasn’t the same as the one that Yuuji knew in his sleep.

And maybe now he was looking all the more forward to when he could go to sleep again rather than move through the dreary motions of life now.

Depression was what the others told him it was.

But maybe it was more longing than anything else.

Longing for that moment of not feeling so alone and able to smile again.

Even if that was with someone he shouldn’t be smiling with at all, a thousand years in a past he wasn’t suppose to be in.

Chapter Text

Yuuji was only half aware that his playlist had restarted for the third time that afternoon as he sat in his room, staring at the manga laid out before him. He was barely aware of the music as he turned the pages of the manga he was attempting to read. He couldn’t seem to focus on the pages or what was going on. He was just turning pages, staring at action scenes that used to capture his attention and cheesy dialogue that had once gotten a smile out of him.

Now it felt almost juvenile to be reading it. He had other things he could be focusing on like training or trying to go out and fight curses, but something in him shuddered at the thought and wanted nothing more than to curl in on himself. Some dark voice in his head kept asking what the point of that was. No matter how strong he thought he was, he wasn’t going to be strong enough to stop anything. People would keep dying in front of him and he wouldn’t be able to save anyone.

So what was the point in trying? It was a voice that Yuuji was always pushing away as if doing that enough would make it stop. For now, it was enough to move through the paces of trying to live.

Waking up, putting on some music, and reading a manga was the most Yuuji was able to do. Even the small rumbles of his stomach weren’t enough to get him to leave the confinement of his room as if it was some prison. Maybe it was. Or maybe he was making that dreary room his tomb to seal himself away from the hurt and swirling thoughts that were harder to put away.

“You’ve been reading the same page for ten minutes now,”

Yuuji barely glanced up as he heard Sukuna’s voice. He just gave a tired shrug, “Not really reading it to be honest,”

“Lost in thought again?” Sukuna asked, his voice carrying a wary, but still rather dismissive tone to it.

It had Yuuji frowning, hating how that same grating voice in his head was shared by someone he found a bit more engaging, or at least, a bit less spiteful.

“Been lost in thought a while,” Yuuji replied, closing his eyes as he let a few lyrics of the song he was listening to filter into his mind to wander about.

“Dare I ask what has you lost in thought this time?”

Yuuji opened his eyes to stare at the wall across from him. It was a dull white of modern style. Minimalistic and nothing like the warm clutter and décor of Sukuna’s home in the past. Yet they both seemed cold. Same, but still different. At least one had clear potential to be so much more than sullen and forgotten. The wall in front of Yuuji spoke of nothing changing and nothing would ever change.

“I’m thinking about him,” Yuuji finally said.

“You mean thinking about me,” Sukuna corrected with an irritated edge.

“I’m thinking about him,” Yuuji scowled as he sat up with a frown, “I wouldn’t think about you even if you were the last man on earth,”

“That can be arranged,” Sukuna said with a sneer.

The retort had Yuuji tensing and he felt the memories of Shibuya creeping into the back of his mind, threatening and gray. Those visions that promised nightmares and the return of the tightness in his chest like hands were constricting around his heart and trying to shove it up through his throat. Yuuji felt his breath catch in his throat a bit as he closed his eyes tight.

“He wouldn’t say that to me,” Yuuji murmured as he reached up to take off his headphones and set them aside on his nightstand.

“Give I am him and I just said it, that is already a lie,” Sukuna growled, “It is absolutely pathetic that you-”

“That I got a taste of the real thing and all that I have here is the spiteful, miserable, piece of shit that was left over in twenty fingers a thousand years later?” Yuuji interrupted with a growl, “Yeah, that is rather pathetic,”

He shoved the manga off the bed and onto the floor as he tugged the blankets around himself as he felt so tired despite having woken up only a few hours ago. Sukuna fell silent again, but he could feel the simmering anger at the back of his mind.

“What are you doing now?” Sukuna growled.

“Going to sleep and hope I see him again,” Yuuji said with a frown, “I want to see him again. Maybe do some things together,”

“The moment my past self realizes how much of a wretched brat you are, the sooner I don’t have to deal with you,” Sukuna snapped, “Because that is all you are: a naive, stupid, emotional brat, trying so desperately to find a reason to cling to your little ideals,”

Yuuji didn’t even tense up. The words may have gotten him angry in the past but now, he felt too tired to deal with it. The words slid off him like dirty river water as he gave a shrug, “Uh huh,”

“Uh huh? That is all you have to say?” Sukuna sneered, “My, you used to actually have some bite,”

“I did, didn’t I?” Yuuji murmured, “Guess I just got tired of you, huh?”

Sukuna’s silence stretched on and Yuuji just closed his eyes and pulled his blankets in a little closer. He could imagine the home of the king of curse’s in the past. He wanted to go back there and just look at all the stuff. Maybe take out those forgotten paints or run his fingers over those gleaming instruments. Maybe he could even convince Sukuna to play a few games with him…

One minute Yuuji’s eyes were closed tight against the dull white of his room. The next he was opening them, face down in the plush rugs of Sukuna’s home with chuckle behind him.

“Well, isn’t this a nice sight to find in my room upon waking,” A low purr of a voice said, dripping with amusement, “A pink-haired kami, face down, ass up like a gift from Heaven itself,”

Yuuji flushed and scrambled to roll over to point a finger at the smirking king of curses in the doorway, “Don’t you get any ideas!”

“Already have them,” Sukuna said as he sipped his morning tea with two hands, the other two crossed over his chest, “You seem to linger in my mind for various reasons, and yet you still haven’t given me your name, brat,”

That had Yuuji blinking and he flushed a bit before glancing away, “Uh, my name is Yuuji. Itadori Yuuji ,”

“Yuuji,” Sukuna repeated, letting the name roll off his tongue like he was savoring every syllable, “I like it. Nice and simple for a simple kami,”

It was not fair how easily this version of Sukuna could get him to blush and make him so tongue-tied to retort. The bastard knew it too as he was grinning cheekily, eyes bright as he looked over Yuuji like he had just come upon his favorite treat.

Yuuji cleared his throat as he rolled up to his feet, looking away, “Yeah, well, I guess it is an okay name,” he muttered.

“Any name you wear would have been a pleasure to say,” Sukuna said with a smirk as he stepped in closer.

Yuuji eyed him with a frown, “And I can’t tell if you are just trying to charm me out of my pants or you are being serious,”

“I don’t see why it can’t be both,” Sukuna said with a chuckle, “I have missed you, and despite you not being here, I have kept my word to you still this past week,”

Yuuji cocked his head in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“I’ve not harmed anyone without reason for a whole week,” Sukuna said with an almost proud look as he put one hand over his broad chest, “Not an easy thing to do when it gets so dull around here, but I managed with only playing with the mages that come around to try and put me down like some rabid dog. Still, it is has been so dull not being able to do more than see how much they could live through,”

“How are you bored with all this stuff around though?” Yuuji asked incredulously, “You got a dozen hobbies in this room alone you could do!”

Sukuna gave a low hum, his gaze falling over the various fine treasures he had before he gave a shrug, “I don’t know how to use any of them,”

“Why not try and learn?” Yuuji put his hands on his hips, eyes narrowed, “You could do so much if you just started somewhere!”

As if to prove his point, Yuuji strode across the room to where the heavy loom sat untouched. The wood of its still gleaming and the fine threads that were wound tight about it still untouched and untried. Yuuji seated himself before it with a look of concentration before picking up a thread with the utmost confidence. Sukuna remained leaned in the doorway, looking all the more amused as he regarded Yuuji.

For his part, Yuuji tried to appear as if he knew the first thing about weaving or how it worked. He threaded the yarn through the loom and he knew he was doing it incorrectly. The up and down didn’t look right and more like he was trying to wiggle a thread through a large needle. His tongue stuck out in concentration as he continued to attempt to do something with the loom as Sukuna waltzed over, sipping his tea.

“At this rate, you might make a scarf by the time we both have aged a thousand years,” Sukuna commented with a smirk.

“Hey! At least I’m trying!” Yuuji retorted with a flush, “And maybe if I found someone in the village who knew how, I could make you something real nice!”

“Make me something real nice eh?” Sukuna sat down next to Yuuji, watching the sorcerer as he continued to struggle to figure out how to weave, “I suppose someone in the village would know how,”

Yuuji paused in his struggle to look at Sukuna, “Then maybe you should ask one of them to teach you. Even if you don’t end up using it, sitting there making someone uncomfortable seems to be something you enjoy,”

“It is fun to see people tremble and try to act normal around me,” Sukuna gave a chuckle, “Some of them jump so much with just a single movement. They nearly shit themselves when I yawn,”

The king of curses paused, his gaze flicking away, “Except for you though. Our first meeting you didn’t even flinch. If anything, you asked for me to embrace you and pet you,”

Yuuji glanced to him and then to the assortment of fine yarns, starting to play with the glinting threads and marvel at the richness of the color, “I’m not afraid of you, even if I know what you can do. Guess I’m just… done being afraid of you,”

Sukuna gave a hum as he finished his cup of tea and set it aside carelessly. Now all four arms were crossed as he regarded the loom thoughtfully, “Weaving seems like such a tedious pastime,”

“Well, if you have the patience, you could always make me something eh?” Yuuji said with a small smile, “Sometimes the best gifts are those made with heart,”

“It would probably be a rather terrible creation,” Sukuna commented as he looked down at Yuuji.

“I would still wear it with pride,” Yuuji declared, “I mean, who is going to say anything bad about something the king of curses made right? Even if it does turn out misshaped and zigzagged with snags and holes in weird places? It would be something you made, one of a kind!”

Sukuna’s eyes narrowed almost thoughtfully at that before he raised a hand to set on Yuuji’s head. Yuuji blinked before blushing as that hand started to pet through his hair, fingers massaging lightly against his scalp, “I think I would like to make you something,”

“Whatever you make, I’ll have to wear it, even if it is a sin against humanity,” Yuuji said with a chuckle, although he gave up on trying to thread anything, more than aware he was not doing it right.

Instead his gaze slid over the room before he was moving along over to the set of watercolor paints and opening up the beautifully carved box that carried all the supplies. He opened it up and picked up the brushes, looking over his shoulder at Sukuna.

“Why did this go untouched?” He asked, “Painting could be fun!”

“I never had eyes for it I suppose, other than to take in the works others have done,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “That particular set was traded to me in exchange for the life of an artist’s family,”

The king of curses gave a small smirk as he leaned back, “He did forget however to include himself in that particular deal,”

That comment had Yuuji feeling a touch wary as it felt more like something the more present Sukuna would say. That hint of cruel games that seemed to be of particular interest to Sukuna. Yuuji let his fingers run over the bristles of the brush, “Why never use them though? Even just to play around?”

“Can you imagine the king of curses messing around with such a thing like a child?” Sukuna gave a snort, “Ridiculous,”

“Sometimes it is nice to just be ridiculous,” Yuuji said quietly.

Yuuji could feel Sukuna’s curious gaze on him as he unpacked the paints. With little fanfare, Yuuji settled himself down on the ground, shifting about so he faced Sukuna then, eyes narrowed, “Just sit there and hold still and I’ll paint you!”

“Do you even know how to paint?” Sukuna drawled.

“No, but I’m not afraid to try,” Yuuji responded, eyes narrowed.

Watercolors were a strange paint to work with. They bled and shifted with the tiniest nudge and Yuuji found himself struggling to get some sort of outline down. Still, there was something fun in watching the colors spread out like bursting stars as he moved the brush along and he couldn’t help a smile as he peaked over his canvas at Sukuna, eyes glinting.

For his part, Sukuna seemed all the more amused as he sat there, waiting patiently for Yuuji to finish. With great flourish, Yuuji turned the picture around with a grin, “Behold my masterpiece!”

It was not very good. A young child armed with crayons and determination could have done better with the squiggly attempt at a four armed figure Yuuji had created. Sukuna gave a snort as he looked it over, “I don’t think you captured my good side honestly,” he drawled.

“You have one of those?” Yuuji asked innocently earning a look from the king of curses.

“Cheeky brat. I’ve killed men for less,” Sukuna said, eyes narrowed.

“I know,” Yuuji said with a shrug before moving the whole art set over towards Sukuna, “If you wanted me dead I would have been killed like everyone else that irritates you or you find unimportant, right?”

Sukuna regarded him with that same curious stare, even more so when Yuuji pushed a fresh page into his hands, “Now, your turn!”

Yuuji turned about and flopped onto his side, posing out like some scandalous model. He gave a grand gesture over himself in all his casual clothing glory, “Now, paint me like one of your French girls!”

“My… French girls?” Sukuna repeated baffled.

“Oh. Right. You would never have seen Titanic, since...ancient Japan and all that,” Yuuji murmured, “Paint me like I’m Genji then!”

Sukuna made a face, “Ah, that damn tale,” he deadpanned but still picked up a brush, “I am certainly not a fan of that story,”

“Too romantic for your tastes?” Yuuji commented.

“Too much court politics for my tastes,” Sukuna said as he started to slowly move the brush over the canvas carefully, all four eyes narrowed in concentration, “The nobility are a boring tale and not to mention I am richer than the entire court currently and all they do is complain of the matter,”

Yuuji gave a small hum, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the ray of warm sunlight that came in through the window, stretching out more to relax as Sukuna painted. The moment was peaceful and probably against his better judgment, Yuuji found him relaxing more. He couldn’t help a touch of a smile, cracking an eye open to watch Sukuna become completely absorbed in the painting.

It really was like watching a child be introduced to something new. A ridiculous sight, just as Sukuna had complained it would be, but it made Yuuji feel a touch warm to watch a more docile side of the usually vicious king of curses.

After a while. Sukuna gave a hum and finally turned the canvas around, “I think I did better than you at least,”

Which wasn’t to say the picture was good. It looked a bit more human but Yuuji had to hide a snicker under a serious expression as he rubbed his chin. The colors were all bled together, but the flash of pink for Yuuji’s hair was apparent, as was the color of his hoodie. Yuuji looked at the painting before slowly raising his gaze up to meet Sukuna’s own, “Well, in one thousand years time, they will invent this thing called modern art and they might actually consider this a piece of artistic genius by then, Sukuna” he said solemnly.

Sukuna gave him a withering look, “Hilarious brat,”

Yuuji couldn’t help sticking out a tongue at him with a cheeky grin, “I only speak the truth as a kami from the future!”

Sukuna put aside the canvas and art supplies and surged forward then, tackling into Yuuji who let out a yelp but was soon laughing as he wrestled back all the while. The laughter that came out of Yuuji gave Sukuna pause and he seemed almost perplexed at Yuuji’s willingness to fight back, as if this was the first time someone did so and saw it as something amusing. A slow smile spread on his face and there was a relaxed posture to him as they wrestled around a bit.

Before long though, Yuuji was pinned, breathless and still with a few snickers escaping him as he looked up at Sukuna with a tilt of his head, “I like it better when you want to wrestle and not rip me into pieces or just verbally humiliate me,”

“There is something enjoyable about this,” Sukuna agreed, letting his eyes rove over how disheveled Yuuji looked beneath him, “Other than the sight of you beneath me,”

Yuuji felt a flush to his cheeks as he regarded that more wanton look creeping into Sukuna’s expression and he quickly looked away, “Well, if you let me up, I think I want to try other things than going to the darkest pits of your dirty mind,”

“Oh do you now,” Sukuna said as he sat back on his heels, “And what has captured your mind now, brat?”

“horses,” Yuuji said, his gaze sliding to one of the tapestries on the wall depicting horses reared up and kicking out like a dance, “I have never in my life actually touched a real horse or ridden one and I want to try,”

“You’ve never ridden a horse and you just want to. Right now,” Sukuna drawled as he propped his chin up in one of his hands, “Do you just rush into everything?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance to ride a horse before I end up dead,” Yuuji said with a rueful smile, “So why hold back on what I want I want to do? You only live once and my live once has turned out shorter than I would want,”

That had Sukuna cocking an eyebrow, “Oh? Some sort of curse put upon you to limit your life?”

Yuuji gave a small grimace, not feeling it just right to tell this version of Sukuna he was the curse in question that had caused his life to go from probably a long lifeline to a few years in short order.

“You could say that,” he finally settled on as he rose to his feet, “So can I ride a horse?”

“You are going to be thrown off almost immediately,” Sukuna retorted with a smirk as he rose to his own feet.

“And you’ll catch me right?” Yuuji said with an innocent tilt of his head.

Sukuna smirked, “Maybe,” he said with a shrug, “or it might be fun to see you get thrown into the mud,”

“And here I thought you were starting to like me!” Yuuji said with a pout.

“Oh, I do like you, my dear audacious brat,” Sukuna said, one hand coming up to cup Yuuji’s face, “But there is also something enjoyable in watching you make a fool of yourself and give little care about it,”

“I’m ridiculous is all,” Yuuji said, maybe leaning a bit more into that touch than he would admit.

Sukuna chuckled, leaning in to press a kiss to Yuuji’s forehead in a gesture that could almost be fondness, “Indeed you are, a little ridiculous tiger cub,”

Yuuji could feel his cheeks going blazing hot as Sukuna brushed past him and towards the door, “I will have the horse prepared if your mind is set upon this new venture,”

“Of course! I get to ride a horse and then after I’m saddle sore and have lived out my pony princess fantasy, you can drink your sake and I’ll fumble around on one of those instruments,” Yuuji said with a grin.

“How amusing,” Sukuna drawled.

Yuuji gave a hum, following Sukuna out, “I’m a song, dance, and good time, wrapped up in one compact package, oh king of curses,”

Sukuna only let out a chuckled in response, giving a shake of his head, “It will be amusing indeed to see you get launched off the back of a horse,”

“I’ll be fine!” Yuuji countered with a slight pout, “You’ll see!”

What Yuuji hadn’t bargained for was that horses were a lot bigger in person than how they appeared on TV. He stood staring up at the beast of pure muscle and anxiety that stared back at him. A nervous farmer held the lead of the animal to keep it in place. It hadn’t taken Sukuna long to go into the village and ask for a horse. The villager seemed quick to bring him anything he wanted without question. The horse in question wasn’t any grand stallion. Maybe a retired war horse now content to lazy pastures in the countryside although it still had a gleam of pride in its dark eyes as he looked over the unworthy rider that stood before it.

Yuuji felt like this horse was judging him harder than modern Sukuna ever could, although this time it felt justified as riding a horse certainly wasn’t his forte.

Sukuna stood beside Yuuji wearing a smirk as he watched the young sorcerer stare slack-jawed at the horse, all four arms crossed over his chest, “Well? Going to get up on it?”

“I am! I’m just, taking it all in,” Yuuji retorted.

Or more to summon his courage that this wasn’t a terrible idea at all to try riding a horse without any lick of experience. He sucked in a breath of air before approaching the animal warily. The horse eyed him back just the same and gave a small snort that had Yuuji pausing a bit before slowly he reached out a hand to pat its side.

He let both his hands pat over the fuzzy side of the horse, shifting about some and looking to the terrified looking farmer that seemed to trying to edge him to mount the beast faster so he could leave. Sukuna looked on with amusement, one hand coming his chin as another hand gave a small gesture to Yuuji.

“Go ahead and get on it,” the king of cruses drawled, “I think you’ve taken it in enough,”

“Maybe I haven’t and the majesty of a very large mammal that looks smaller in the pictures is still mind-boggling to me!” Yuuji retorted.

Sukuna snickered, “Scared are we?”

“Not scared! In awe!” Yuuji countered, “Just like when I see you! I’m not scared of you at all! But you are rather larger and worthy of awe,”

That had Sukuna grinning wider, all four eyes narrowing, “You speak about me as if you wish to see me as a god,”

“I wouldn’t go that far in stroking your ego,” Yuuji said as he turned back to the horse, “And I don’t like looking up to people in that way,”

“And what way would you want to look at me?” Sukuna asked.

Yuuji gave a hum, hesitating a moment before he pulled himself up onto the horse without a bit of grace. The animal huffed and stamped at the awkward mounting technique Yuuji demonstrated and the farmer nervously held the bridle, eyes flicking to Sukuna as if expecting the king of curses to strike him for letting the animal put up that little bit of fuss.

Sukuna though remained relaxed, eyes more on watching Yuuji flounder about on the horse’s back until he managed to sit upright, looking over at the king of curses with a false bravado, “I like to meet you at eye level,” Yuuji said with a lift of his chin, “Then I can see the world from your perspective for once,”

That gave the king of curses a long moment of pause. If anything, he looked almost perplexed by Yuuji. He tilted his head slowly, regarding Yuuji carefully, like he was noticing something new to this audacious youth that was slowly holding his interest further.

“And what does the world look like from my perspective, now that you sit at eye level with me?” Sukuna asked at last with a lift of an eyebrow.

Yuuji looked about from his view on the horse with an exaggerated frown on his lips. He rested his hands on his hips, acting like some sort of emperor surveying his dominion before he couldn’t hold the stern look as a smile, cheeky and mischievous, broke free, “Looks about the same as my perspective actually. Maybe you just aren’t taking in the right details,”

He let out a laugh before he wrapped his arms about the horse’s neck and gave a kick to send it bolting forward. The poor farmer yelped as the bridle was tugged from his hands and he, in vain, tried to take after the animal. Yuuji was yelling in fear and excitement the whole time as he clung to the animal, legs pressed tight to its flanks to keep from being thrown off, and feeling the exhilaration of going fast on some animals back like that.

No doubt he looked ridiculous and like a fool with no idea of what he was doing, but at least he was trying something. The gallop of the horse, the rush of color as the world went pass, it almost felt to Yuuji like he was outrunning everything and escaping for a moment. He steadied himself to sit up more, hands now moving into the mane of the horse, although he didn’t tug harshly.

For a moment he sat up with a proud grin on his face, looking back to where the nervous farmer stood with a look of anxiety on his face and to Sukuna who looked utterly amused, although the smile he wore was softer than anything Yuuji had ever seen before. It could be considered fond if Yuuji didn’t know Sukuna was probably not capable of being fond of anyone.

Yuuji gave a wave back before he made an attempt to steer the horse around and that is where everything ended in the usual comical facts of his life. He let out a yelp as he was thrown off the horse’s back and onto the ground. He felt the wind get knocked from his chest. The horse came to a stop a few paces away with a snort and flick of its tail and a look down at him as if to make him regret daring to let his unworthy rear touch its back. Yuuji gave a groan as he rolled onto his back to stare up at the blue sky and the clouds that dotted it, the branches of trees creeping in at the edge with sunlight dappled green leaves.

Soon there was the sound of footsteps and Sukuna leaning into his field of view, arms crossed over his chest and wearing a smirk, “How is the view now?”

“Still rather good,” Yuuji returned with a thumbs up and smile, “I think I like it down here better,”

The farmer came shuffling up, flinching as Sukuna glanced his way, “Take your beast and leave,” Sukuna said, voice bored, but enough of a rumble of threat that the man didn’t need to be asked twice to grab the bridle of the horse and scurry off.

Sukuna watched the farmer go, like a man debating something vicious before he looked back down to Yuuji and moved to flop down beside him. Yuuji blinked at that, turning his head towards the curse, “Why are you down here?”

“To see your view,” Sukuna responded casually, eyes flicking towards the blue of the sky filled with the fluffy shapes of clouds slowly meandering by.

“And what do you think?” Yuuji asked, his own gaze falling up to the view above with a small smile on his lips.

“I think your view is better,”

There it was again, that little bit of warmth in Yuuji’s chest that crept up to warm his cheeks. It had Yuuji unable to stop smiling as he laid there next to Sukuna of all people. He couldn’t help a pleased hum at the comment, although he turned his head with a smirk, “Trying to charm me again, are you? Hide away your fangs and pretend you are a house cat and not a man-eating tiger?”

“Depends, is it working?” Sukuna asked as he sat up some, propping his head up in one hand and wearing a wide grin.

“Maybe a bit,” Yuuji admitted with a laugh as he sat up, stretching out a bit, “But I think I have lived out my horse riding fantasies,”

Sukuna sat up more as well, stretching out and making Yuuji try not to stare at how his muscle flexed under that kimono, “For the best. I do not think you were blessed with much in regards to horse riding,”

“Now when you put it like that, now I feel I have to do it again on principle,” Yuuji said with a huff as he hopped back up to his feet, “But not today. Can find other things to do today,”

Sukuna cocked an eyebrow again as he leaned back, watching Yuuji stretch out, “Always on the move, aren’t you?”

“If I don’t stop moving, then the depression will catch me,” Yuuji said, meaning it as a joke, but knowing it was rather the sad truth of everything.

The moment he stopped to think, the moment he would have to realize this was all going to eventually end and he would wake up in bed, miserable again in the present, and confronted with how alone he was and how empty everything felt with the worse version of Sukuna possible around.

And he wanted to hang onto this present, filled with things to try, and nothing to stop him from just living life for a while without a threat of death looming over his head.

He held out both hands to Sukuna with a bright smile, “You joining me, or are you going to lounge around until the depression gets you too?”

That earned a smirk from Sukuna and he put two of his hands in Yuuji’s, allowing himself to be pulled up, “It hasn’t been able to catch me just yet, but I suppose it is better to keep moving. What hobby are we on to next,”

Yuuji just smiled, gripping his hands tight and showing off his own strength in being able to easily pull the massive curse back onto his feet, “Oh, you shall see, you shall see,”

And he was true to his word in keeping moving and surprisingly, Sukuna was there for every step of the way when it came to Yuuji’s hair-brain ideas. If it wasn’t climbing up a tree, it was trying to fish with his bare hands in the river. And if it wasn’t that, it was him trying to pluck out some song he had heard on his playlist and belting out the lyrics, trying to use his better vocal skills to prop up his poor playing skills. Something that Sukuna had commented on until Yuuji had pushed the instrument into his hands with the bold claim that if the king of curses had four arms, he could most certainly play better.

A claim that Sukuna put to rest by barely plucking out a few notes before Yuuji was snickering and Sukuna had abandoned the instrument to instead wrestle with the audacious brat once more.

Now though the evening had fallen and with it, the level of activity.

Sukuna lounged out on his side with a cup of sake in one hand, head propped up with another, and the other two crossed lightly over his chest as the light of the day faded, leaving only the gentle touch of night.

Yuuji sat cross-legged before him, a game of Shogi betweem them under the light of a few lanterns. The young sorcerer stared at the board in concentration before making his move, flicking his eyes up to Sukuna, “Your move,”

Sukuna gave a hum, two eyes glancing to the board as he raised a hand to move his piece, “You know this game well it seems,”

“My grandfather and I use to play Shogi to settle our differences. Whenever we argued, we would pull out the Shogi board and settle it like proper men, as he would say,” Yuuji said with a fond smile, “Was a better way to go about things then shouting at each other at least,”

Sukuna gave a hum as he sipped his sake two eyes closed, “You two were close then?”

“He raised me since my parents were both dead,” Yuuji said with a shrug, “hard not to get fond of the old, ill-tempered tiger of a man,”

“And what was the village you grew up like?”

Yuuji blinked, glancing to Sukuna as he hadn’t expect the king of curses to ask such mundane a question as they played, “Just like any other city I guess. Tall buildings. Traffic and cars everywhere. A fast pace of living that only seemed to slow in the evening a bit. Sendai isn’t really any different than other places in Japan I think,”

“Cars?” Sukuna asked with a lift of an eyebrow.

“Stuff from my time...a thousand years from now,” Yuuji said with a dip of his head, “Like carriages, but metal and need no animal to run. Use science and stuff,”

“Ah,” Sukuna though looked less than interested in what was being said as he sipped his saki lazily.

Yuuji shifted some, glancing towards him before back to the Shogi board, “If uh, I’m talking too much, just say something. I don’t want to sound annoying or anything,”

Sukuna cocked an eyebrow, “If you talking was such, I would have done something about it a while ago,” he said casually before closing his eyes with a hint of a smile, “I like hearing you talk,”

A hot flush was creeping across Yuuji’s cheeks at that and he dipped his head as he moved his piece, “Now that sounds like a joke given how your future self hates me if I even breath in his direction,”

The king of curses opened his eyes to inspect the board idly before making his move, favoring a more aggressive game to Yuuji more defensive strategy, “I like how you speak about things. Everything is a passion to you. Even the most mundane and dull thing comes alive to you. I find myself a touch envious even that you can find such joy in pleasure in everything, as if this world still has something to offer,”

Yuuji couldn’t help a small smile at that, “See, I’m sure you are feeding me lies, but at least they are nice ones to hear,”

Yuuji moved his piece and gave a small grin of triumph at the curse, “And that’s game by the way,”

Sukuna blinked before sitting up more to look over the board, all four eyes giving an almost comical blink before he chuckled, “Well now, I took you for a fool, but you aren’t bad at strategy,”

“Sometimes being an idiot is the strategy,” Yuuji said with a cheeky grin.

“Noted,” Sukuna gave another chuckle as he looked up to Yuuji, “And I was not telling you sweet lies, Yuuji. I have no reason to lie to you,”

Yuuji watched as he set the cup of sake down and leaned forward over the board, eyes glinting with an undeniable want that had the young sorcerer’s cheeks going red, “I’ve never heard you speak of anything as if it was boring. Even when you speak of things in anger and distaste, it is always exciting. I’ve seen this world as a dull canvas of late and yet you have pointed out all the details and colors I’ve missed,”

Yuuji could feel his breath catch, his heart in his chest as he felt two of those large warm hands cup his face. Sukuna was leaning in closer. Those eyes were so intense and seemed to pin down Yuuji’s soul in a way he hadn’t experienced yet in life. It set something on fire in him like an eager jump.

It reawakened that spark in him that had been dulled by Shibuya, by everything that had happened. All the loss and torment, the sadness that seemed to never end. He wanted to blurt out that he could only make things any sort of color here with him and that in the modern age, everything was dull and grey. That in the span of a few months, every joy he felt had been sucked away and what little he could do made him feel guilty.

How even this felt guilty.

Because this was still Sukuna, even if he had a few softer edges. He was still a curse who would kill and do as he pleased. The monster was still there in the sorrow that stained every glittering treasure around them.

And yet, here he was, feeling content, cared for, understood, and seen.

Yuuji’s eyes slid closed as the distance between them closed and he relented to that ache for comfort as they kissed, even if it was a guilty sin he was indulging in.

It made him feel again, so strongly, from his heart to his head to his stomach, to the very tips of his fingers and his toes.

He felt again and the fire in his soul thrummed just that much stronger for it.

Then he opened his eyes.

It took Yuuji a moment to realize he wasn’t staring at the usual dull white paint of his ceiling and instead was staring at the patchwork drop ceiling of a medical room, complete with burning florescent lights. There was a beep of machines and he was vaguely aware then of a mask over his face. A moment of panic hit him and he shot up, looking about as he realized he was in a hospital room and he had little memory of how he got there.

“The fuck?”

He moved then to pull off the mask, jumping when that had the alarms of the machines going off. He stared at it with wide-eyes before the door burst open and Shoko came in. She paused though, meeting Yuuji’s confused, panicked stare for a moment before relief was breaking over her face, “Yuuji, you’re awake!”

“I am? Yeah?” Yuuji said in confusion, “What’s going on?”

“Megumi found you two days ago in your bed and you were unresponsive and you’ve been that way for days. Barely any brain activity, it was like your soul just up and left your body or something,” Shoko said with a sigh as she came over to check his vitals, “We thought you had gone into some shock from well,” she trailed off, her posture tensing a moment, “We just thought you had left us,”

Yuuji felt the twinge of guilt and he nearly blurted out that he was somehow soul time traveling to the past before he bit his tongue.

Another part of him, one that was more selfish, didn’t want to say a word less they do something to stop it from happening and deny him that one kernel of joy that sleep was bringing him.

Even if it seemed it was starting to have more noticeable effects in the modern world.

“I don’t know. I just went to sleep like normal. Not sure what happened. Maybe it is Sukuna doing something,” Yuuji said with a small smile.

“It is not me doing anything, brat,” The harsh voice of Sukuna snarled, “Woman, if you want to know the truth, this idiot is sending his soul into the past to fool around and not realizing he’s killing himself slowly for it!”

Yuuji went rigid and a spark of rage shot up in him as he slammed a hand over the mouth on his cheek, “Don’t believe a word he says,” Yuuji growled, “He’s doing all sorts of stupid shit to me in his domain, like killing me and flailing me alive. Probably all his awful bullshit is what is making it hard for my soul to keep awake!”

Shoko frowned a touch, looking unsure before she shook her head, “Maybe. I’ll speak with someone about seeing if we can’t keep him from pulling you into anything. I don’t think it is good for your mental health to be...put through that all the time,”

“It isn’t,” Yuuji said loudly, glaring all the more, “But what else can you do but deal with the most awful fucker to every exist who lives in your body and tries to ruin everything good in your life!”

He could feel Sukuna seething within his body. It was always a hot feeling, like a prickling itch under his skin he couldn’t scratch. Yuuji sat there, scowling and finding he didn’t if care of this Sukuna was mad at him. Especially when his past self was so much better company.

Shoko looked Yuuji over before she sighed and stepped back, “I want to keep you under observation for another day if that is all right. Then I’ll let you get back out there,”

“Sounds good,” Yuuji said with a smile, although it didn’t reach his eyes.

The medical sorcerer regarded him another moment before she turned away, “And I’m going to suggest a few therapists. You don’t have to actually go, but, I think it might be helpful,”

“My mental health condition is named Ryoumen Sukuna and there isn’t a therapist qualified to exorcise that out of my life,” Yuuji said with a frown, hands curling into the hospital blankets, “I’m fine, really!”

“Well, just in case you decide to go for it, I’ll send you some,” Shoko insisted before she offered a smile and left.

Yuuji let out a sigh that boarded on frustrated before he flopped back into the hospital bed, scowling at the ceiling. He could feel Sukuna ire still burning under his skin, but what right did the damn curse have to be upset about anything?

“You should have told the truth to her,” Sukuna growled, “This soul projection you are doing is dangerous,”

“Feels fine to me,” Yuuji snapped back, “I get to go back, do fun things, live my life, and feel alive for a little bit. What’s wrong with that? Aren’t you all about seeking pleasures?”

The words were barely out of his mouth before the sensation of falling hit him and he was pulled downwards. The darkness of Sukuna’s domain engulfed him and the smell of blood hit his nose unpleasantly. However, he did not find himself unceremoniously dropped into a pool of blood or dropped onto a protruding bone.

Instead he was allowed to stand there before the pile of bones where Sukuna’s throne sat, the king of curses glaring down at him. Yuuji just glared back, feeling that prickle of dislike at how the other always seemed to look down at him.

“Why did I have to come here?” Yuuji growled.

“Because I want some privacy in speaking to you and I’m sure you would rather not have them think you are any more insane for arguing out loud with me,” Sukuna growled as he rose to his feet.

Yuuji couldn’t hide the flinch as the king of curses walked down from his throne to stand more level with his vessel. It was not something Sukuna did unless he wanted to do harm. It was some stubborn anger that kept Yuuji from taking a step back as Sukuna stood before him, glaring at Yuuji with a stranger emotion burning just behind those red eyes.

“Do you want to die brat?” Sukuna asked simply, “Because what you are doing is a slow suicide, you do realize this yes?”

Yuuji sneered, “Then I’ll just master it so it doesn’t do anything bad to my body,”

“It is affecting your soul, not your body,” Sukuna growled, “and so I ask again, is this how you want to kill yourself? Chasing some stupid dream in the past when you can have all of that now?”

“Have all that now,” Yuuji couldn’t help a humorless laugh that came out of his throat, “What? This? A bloody domain? You looking down on me, putting me down every time you can, and ruining anything that makes me happy?”

He saw Sukuna bare teeth then, agitation creeping more into his expression, “And what would make you happy, Itadori? What could possibly make you happy now? Because it seems to me you revel in being miserable now,”

“Maybe I would be happy if you were gone. If Shibuya didn’t happen,” Yuuji said, hands clenching into fists, “But that isn’t going to happen, now is it?”

“I could find a way to leave your body if you suddenly find me so revolting to be around,” Sukuna sneered, “In the past though, you looked at me like...”

His voice trailed off, as if he couldn’t quiet place the words and there was something there, some pain that was being masked by hateful words. The king of curses raised a hand towards Yuuji and it was a reflex that he flinched back, waiting for harm, jerking back in an unsteady step. Sukuna frowned, the raised hand curling back into a fist then, “You are afraid of me now,”

“I’m not afraid of you, but I don’t want to keep being hurt,” Yuuji retorted, “And you always hurt me,”

“Not always,” Sukuna grounded out.

Yuuji scowled, “The past doesn’t count for you,”

“Because apparently I’m a different person than what you see of me in the past, right?” Sukuna drawled, “That somehow who I used to be is a god to worship and now I’m something to blame,”

“I never would worship any version of you as a god!” Yuuji snapped, “But the you of the past is someone I trust!”

Because the Sukuna in the past was so very capable of horrible things, spoke of them so casually, but he didn’t make Yuuji commit them and then laugh about it. The one in the past flopped down into the grass beside him to see his view.

At his side.

Eye to eye.

Yuuji felt his heart clenching more as he was already yearning for the past all over again. Sukuna was staring at him, tensed, like some sort of scorned animal. He wasn’t lashing out though. He stared at Yuuji with a mixture of conflicting feelings, teeth bared, and looking so hateful and confused at Yuuji before he looked away.

The silence of the domain was so oppressive but Yuuji didn’t want to speak. The steady drip of blood from the bones above into the pools of liquid red below was the only thing that tried to fill that void.

“It is too quiet here when you are gone, brat,”

The sound of Sukuna’s voice made Yuuji flinch and he gave a small glower to the king of curses. Sukuna wasn’t looking at him, his gaze out over his domain with a frown on his face, “It is too quiet and I hate this place when it is silent. I am starting to miss your voice when you would say the most inane things to me before,”

“You could always talk to yourself,” Yuuji murmured.

“And how pathetic would that make me to talk to someone who isn’t here?” Sukuna sneered.

“About as pathetic as someone who thinks he is the same person as someone else because they share the same name,” Yuuji shot back coldly.

It was the first time Yuuji had ever seen Sukuna flinch. It wasn’t a huge movement. More a twitch in the face where that usual sneer pulled into a grimace of pain. A brief thing that made Yuuji feel a little better in a mean-spirited cruel way.

Not like there was anything to pity when it came to the monster that stood before him, stripped down of anything but his obvious spite.

“If Shibuya hadn’t happened, would you hate me this much?” Sukuna asked stiffly, “I’m curious, if that is the only reason you now seem to have a singular hatred for me,”

Yuuji scowled, hands clenched, “It isn’t just Shibuya. It is everything else too. It is your insults and your love to see me suffer. It is how you want to see me break. It is how you look down on me, spit on me, kill me when I grow tiresome. How you kill and hurt others just to hold me by the head and force me to look and then tell me it is all my fault for being weak,”

He could feel his voice cracking as saying that out loud made the pain he was been trying to bury come back. All the color of the world bled dry into red and black that dripped around him and the curse that stood before him, scowling, confused, angry, irritated and… something else.

Something else that was lost when Sukuna glanced away with a sneer, “You aren’t-” Sukuna began to say, pausing before he turned away fully, “You aren’t as weak as I thought in some regards,”

Yuuji gave a broken laugh, “Oh, so now you are changing your tune because you can’t get something you want?”

“Even I can sometimes...overlook things in my own dislike,” Sukuna retorted, glancing over his shoulder, “Perhaps I rushed quickly to hate of you for the circumstances of my containment,”

Yuuji just stared blankly at him before he turned away, “Can I leave now?”

A sneer cut across Sukuna’s face and he looked sharply at Yuuji, “What?”

“I’m sick of hearing your voice and talking to you. I just want to leave and go back to you not wanting to talk to me,” Yuuji said sullenly.

“If it were my past self you were talking to-”

“But it isn’t” Yuuji interrupted, watching Sukuna flinch again, “And I don’t care to hear whatever excuses and lies you are going to put together to try and just soothe everything over. So can I leave?”

Yuuji was staring Sukuna down while the king of curses wasn’t looking at him. He could see how Sukuna’s fingers twitched, wanting to harm him, and yet something now was holding him back. He had never seen such a strange mix of emotions in the usual feral, bloodthirsty curse.

Sukuna had never been one to hesitate to punish those that earned his ire.

Sukuna took a breath and let out it out in a hiss before he returned to his throne, sitting down heavily in it and glaring down at Yuuji, “Stop going to to the past brat. There is nothing there for you and all you need is here, whether you believe it or not,” He said, voice a cold sneer, “And maybe in time you’ll realize the depths of my patience in dealing with your simpering emotions. Maybe then you’ll come around and let me show you I can truly grant what you want and soothe all those little pesky aches and be exactly what you need,”

That was the Sukuna Yuuji knew well. The king who commanded and expected those he saw beneath him to fall in line to what he wanted. The world was to bend to his will and the pleasures he wanted. This was the Sukuna that saw if he pushed hard enough, he could break everyone and everything into the exact shape he wanted to fit into his vision of the world.

Yuuji just glared up at him before turning away.

“Then find another host that will so happily let you crush them and never talk to you so you can make up their responses in your head. I’m not talking to you anymore,” Yuuji sneered, “My grandfather once said unwanted thing things should be ignored because anything else is just going to honor it and I’m not going to honor you at all,”

He could see the anger in Sukuna’s face, the rage but also something akin to hurt. Almost a comical sort of confusion as his usual methods were no longer working with Yuuji.

As if he knew how much better things could be. As if this was not the Yuuji he wanted to see and was trying to bully the one he wanted to come out. The two of them doing nothing but harming the other in an open warfare but Yuuji was too tired, too hurt, to try and even attempt to throw up a white flag. It was easier to keep fighting until he didn’t have the energy to fight anymore.

“Fine. If that is what will make you happy, then you need not hear from me ever again,” Sukuna sneered.

And then Sukuna’s domain vanished.

Yuuji opened his eyes back in his hospital bed and there was silence once more as Sukuna said not a word and did not make himself known. It felt almost strange to not feel his soul so close. It had pulled away leaving Yuuji with a strange emptiness settling in his chest that made him feel a bit uncomfortable. Yuuji sighed, staring up at the grey and white, colorless ceiling that matched the colorless walls, and the empty cold sunlight that came through the window.

He sunk back in the bed, feeling that empty feeling in his chest open back up again and once more his thoughts were flitting back to the past and to the feelings that now seemed just as distant as a thousand years ago.

Chapter Text

Yuuji had tried. Really he had.

He had tried to not think about the world of the past and keep himself in the present moment as he didn’t want what friends he had left to worry about him anymore than they did. He did his very best to try and not let his mind stray to mountains and blue skies, set against green forests and the man who dominated the scenery with a carefree grin and cup of sake in hand, highlighted against a fading sun.

Yuuji had tried.

But it was so much harder to get through the day when his bed beckoned him like a siren’s call to just lay down and slip back to where he knew he could smile easily and wasn’t haunted by the grey, grim reality he had come into.

It was taking so much energy just to leave his room and dare to be a part of the human race, but he forced himself to do so.

That morning, Yuuji had went to a cafe for breakfast with Megumi and the two had managed to talk a little. Both of them couldn’t ever shake the fact their table was one seat too many these days. A specter sat there that had once made it so easy to talk, but they tried to carry on. They talked like strangers though, never looking at the other, eyes fixed on their drinks. Yuuji wanted to think that maybe things would have been easier if not for the news coming onto the TV in the cafe and the scenes of Shibuya were flashed once more across the screen. Then there were the talks of memorials and families that were planning services and even the prime minister planning a large moment of mourning for all those that had passed. It had sucked the moment away and he and Megumi sat silently in that chattering cafe, staring into their cooling drinks.

Eventually they had left, parting as strangers on their way back to campus and Yuuji couldn’t keep the images of that destruction from creeping into his mind once more.

Shibuya haunted Yuuji.

When he went outside it was there. The flashes of it were behind his eyelids when he walked and when people talked, he always felt like they were talking about what happened. Then he swore all their eyes were on him and the quiet whispers in the back of his mind would chant.

All his fault. If he had been strong enough to keep Sukuna contained. If he hadn’t been knocked unconscious, things would have turned out better.

If he could have saved someone, anyone he cared about, had been able to do something right then-

Yuuji slammed the door to his room closed and leaned against it, eyes closed. His teeth were gritted as he tried to fight down that monster called Shibuya that had clawed its way into his mind and heart. Sukuna had let it in, and now it wouldn’t leave him. Just like the curse.

“I thought you and that shadow user were friends,” Sukuna commented.

Yuuji gritted his teeth at the judgmental tone Sukuna used,” We are,”

“Then why did neither of you say more than five words to each other? Usually friends talk about something or share, well, what is wrong in their heads,” Sukuna drawled, “Yet both of you just stewed like a couple of fools,”

“Yeah well, forgive me about not wanting to talk about Shibuya with Megumi in public while the news was talking about all the people I let die,” Yuuji snapped as he tossed his backpack angrily against a wall.

Yuuji wanted to scream. He wanted to throw everything in his room around and act like wild animal tearing up its enclosure. His heart was thumping hard against his ribs and his hands curled with nails digging into his palms as he trembled.

He wanted to claw out of his own skin, rip it apart until he bled, until his fingers curled against bone.

None of that came to pass. Those violent whims fading under a heavy darkness of apathy.

Instead, Yuuji slump onto his bed, glaring at the ceiling silently. Sukuna held his tongue. The curse in general hadn’t speaking much to him at all, not since his last time to the past. But it wasn’t like the curse could leave him be entirely. Yuuji could always feel Sukuna’s presence within him.

Never alone, never able to just allow himself to fall apart for fear of what Sukuna would say despite the curse knowing far too well how to keep breaking him again and again.

“Why do you keep bottling everything up?” Yuuji gritted his teeth at Sukuna’s snide voice, “There is no reason for you to think that you could ever be capable of what happened at Shibuya,”

“I should have stopped you,” Yuuji growled out, “If I was stronger-”

“You were unconscious, if I recall,” Sukuna drawled, “What could you have possibly done? If anything, that idiotic brother of yours should have been protecting you instead of wandering off when you were most vulnerable, having whatever petty breakdown,”

“Leave Choso out of this,” Yuuji snarled, tensing up.

He could practically feel Sukuna sneering within him, but for once, the curse did not press the issue. Instead, a long suffering sigh escaped the king of curses, “I don’t understand why you are so upset,”

“Of course you don’t. Because you never understood a damn emotion in your life,” Yuuji spat as he rolled onto his side, glaring at the wall.

“And what are you going to do to make me understand what is going on in that idiotic skull of yours?” Sukuna snapped.

Yuuji closed his eyes, curling in tighter. He felt overwhelmed and Sukuna was not helping with his remarks. Shibuya was in his mind, in his soul. Choso was trying to figure out himself, still unsure with Yuuji and really, Yuuji wasn’t sure if he was even ready for having some weird found family going on. The two of them had barely talked and when they did, it was awkward.

Because Yuuji still carried blood on his hands that Choso had forgiven but the guilt was clawing harder at Yuuji’s chest.

He couldn’t blame those deaths on Sukuna.

Those were his sins. So many wrongs he was committing again and again, feeling like he was forced to relive it except for-

Yuuji closed his eyes, “I’m going to sleep,”

“You are going back, aren’t you? Despite the fact it is killing you?” Sukuna growled, “How is running form the present going to solve anything?”

“It won’t,” Yuuji said from between gritted teeth, “But I just need a break. I need, something. Just something,”

Something that wouldn’t hurt.

It would just be a quick trip. Just a taste of something to try and settle his heart. All he would need was a moment or two.

That is what Yuuji told himself as he pulled his blankets about him and closed his eyes, all but willing himself to wake up in a better place.

When Yuuji opened his eyes again, he found himself sitting under the looming magnolia in the garden of Sukuna’s home. The tree was an ancient beast and it had twisted itself into a series of wild knots when the elements had battered it one way and then the others. The thick leaves created a circle of cool shade where Yuuji sat, settling everything beneath those leaves in shades of deep greens and soft shadows. He stared up at the gnarl branches that had endured the elements to bloom in shades of white flowers and green leaves and let the breath of relief slide out of his chest.

Yuuji was slow to rise to his feet, giving a glance about. The gardens were not all that well kept. Sukuna didn’t seem to really care about keeping it pristine and orderly. There was a wild tangle of flowers and long grasses that had overtaken the beds, making it look messy, but at the same time, Yuuji couldn’t help a small smile as there was a certain odd charm to it. The flowers still bloomed bright and even the snarl of weeds, stubborn and prickly, put out their own blooms that added to the mismatch of colors in the wild gardens.

Idly Yuuji wandered the paths, wondering if Sukuna was even about when he came to halt near one of the pavilions. A smile touched his lips and he slowed his steps as he spotted the dozing form of Sukuna lounged out on a porch in the warm sunlight, like a massive tiger taking its rest after a day of hunting. Yuuji felt a spark of mischief in him as he quietly moved along, doing his best to remain quiet.

He crouched, mere inches away from Sukuna, waiting a breath before he jumped forward. A loud yelp escaped Yuuji as Sukuna’s hand grabbed him by a shoulder moments he would have landed his pounce. The king of curses shot a smirk as he half rolled over in the blink of an eye to catch Yuuji in mid-air, reminding Yuuji again that the curse was not an easy person to sneak up on.

“Well now, what do we have here? A tiger cub trying to practice his hunting technique?” Sukuna teased.

Yuuji squirmed in Sukuna’s grip, pouting at him, “How did you even know? I was being quiet!”

“You didn’t mask your cursed energy at all,” Sukuna said as he sat up, setting Yuuji back down on the ground, “I knew you were here the moment you arrived,”

Yuuji could not help the slight pout although he fought valiantly to hide it as he glowered up at the smirking curse before him. Instead he crossed his arms, giving a dismissive sound as he looked away, “Next time I’ll get you,”

“I look forward to watching you try,” Sukuna said with a wider smirk, “But your attempts at trying to put even the best assassins to shame aside, I was hoping you would show again. The times when you aren’t here are getting all the more dreadfully dull,”

“Dull? You seem like the type who finds a way to make his own fun,” Yuuji said with a tilt of his head.

Sukuna gave a hum and a shrug, “I’ve not been in the mood for the things that used to be somewhat entertaining since you started to show up,” he admitted, “Something about you brat, something about you perplexes me in a way I can’t shake,”

“A good perplexing?” Yuuji asked hesitantly.

The king of curses paused, rubbing his chin with a tilt of his head, “It is good if it holds my attention,” he said at last with a glance to Yuuji, “Not many people can manage that, for better or worse,”

Yuuji gave a nod and a hum before glancing about, “So, what should we even do today?”

That had Sukuna chuckling, “Always one to get going on something, aren’t you?”

“Only got so much life to give and time to spare,” Yuuji said with a smile, although it was a bit more tight as it reminded him that these forays into the past were working on borrowed time.

Every time he did it, his actual body was slowly suffering and he wasn’t sure if something happened to his body in the present if he would even be able to remain in the past. Another part of him didn’t care. At least here he could die happy if all went wrong.

Sukuna was regarding him with a searching look, eyes narrowed a touch as if he had picked up quickly that something was amist. It made Yuuji squirm some, avoiding making eye contact as he crossed his arms over his chest, “So, uh, we haven’t tried fishing yet,” he murmured out.

“We can try that another time,” Sukuna said with a wave of his hand before leaning in, a grin touching his face again, “This time, it is my turn to show you something, brat,”

It was terrible how such insignificant words, said with such eagerness, could induce such a cold chill in Yuuji. It was innocuous invitation. As far as the Sukuna of the past knew, he was simply making a gesture to show Yuuji something and be the one to lead their escapades.

But that voice was too much like the Sukuna Yuuji knew in the present. The same voice, the same words the curse had used when he had presented the destruction of Shibuya. He had been so pleased to show Yuuji what he had done. The laughter in his voice, the sheer joy of the destruction unleashed.

The crushing guilt that had fallen upon Yuuji that was still slowly swallowing him up even as he did everything to keep standing up on his own two feet.

Yuuji found himself freezing, staring at Sukuna with a wide-eyed look of someone trapped in their own spiral of thoughts. His tongue was plastered to the roof of his mouth. Sukuna was looking at him with a more confused look now, cocking an eyebrow as he tilted his head.

“Not one to go on little outings now are we?” He put forth to try and coax something out of Yuuji.

The younger sorcerer stared at him a touch before closing his eyes, grimacing as he tried to get control of his racing heart and breath. Shibuya was there imprinted on his eyelids as he wrapped his arms about himself to try and ground himself in this past where none of that had happened yet. He was trying so hard to run from Shibuya, but it was there in his soul, carved out in blood and gore by the man who stood before him.

Yuuji jumped as he felt a faint touch to his shoulder and a hand cupping his face. It forced him to open his eyes, staring into four blue ones, so unlike the red he knew. Sukuna was frowning, but there was a trace of worry mixed with the displeasure. The hand was firm, but still gentler a touch than the present Sukuna would give when he was feeling displeased. Yuuji swallowed, finding himself leaning some into that touch, even as his eyes darted away.

“Something is on your mind,” Sukuna commented, “Or perhaps a lot of things,”

“A lot of things,” Yuuji croaked out, “Just, a lot of things,”

“I don’t care for those things on your mind,” Sukuna drawled, his thumb pressing lightly at the corner of Yuuji’s mouth, “It took away that smile of yours rather quick,”

That comment made Yuuji almost laugh, although the sound came out like a soft gasp more, tired and wheezing, “Just, showing me something, you said that in the future and what you showed me,” he trailed off, the words sticking in his throat before he swallowed hard, wanting to finally force those words out, “It was something shown to break me and hurt me in ways I can’t, I still can’t figure out,”

Sukuna gave a tilt of his head, frowning a touch more, “I hurt you in your time?”

“Yeah. Real bad. A lot of the time,” Yuuji managed out, still not looking at him, “I can’t stop seeing it and, I just can’t, all that happened. I lost so many people because...”

He trailed off and closed his eyes again, grimacing as all that pain and hurt he had been trying to run from was swelling up in his chest along with laughter of the curse that had enjoyed every moment of his loss.

“I’m not strong enough,” Yuuji managed out, “I’m weak. And you… you hate that in me don’t you? Hate I’m weak but manage to hold you contained and, and I’m something to despise, and-”

A finger was pressed to his lips and Yuuji blinked, eyes jumping up to Sukuna who was regarding him with a tilt of his head, “You are mad at the me you know best, aren’t you?”

“Maybe. A lot actually. I think I hate him,” Yuuji blurted out, cheeks flushing.

“But you don’t hate me?” Sukuna asked with a lift of an eyebrow.

“No,” Yuuji said softly, tensing up, “I don’t. Not you,”

The large man gave a hum as he straightened up some, two hands still cupping Yuuji’s face idly, “So do you hate him or hate your own weakness?”

Yuuji swallowed, grimacing again, “Both I guess. He won’t do anything to help me,” that had Yuuji pausing a moment before hesitantly looking up at the Sukuna before him, “Would you?”

Sukuna smirked, “Of course not,” he said simply, “The trouble you get into is your own and so far, it has been more amusing to see what happens,”

“Even if it would hurt me?” Yuuji growled out, feeling a slow creep up unease.

Those four eyes were digging through Yuuji as the king of curses regarded him, at ease and unconcerned. The malice of his future self wasn’t there, which made Yuuji feel all the more small before him.

“You are weak, Yuuji. Nothing to do about that,” Sukuna said with a shrug, letting his hands drop from Yuuji’s face, “And if I dragged every weak thing I encountered out of the mud, what would that even do?”

The curse let out a sigh, letting his head fall back, hands on his hips, “I don’t waste my time helping others Yuuji. I never have. Does that upset you? Or are you upset that I don’t want to be altruistic and save everyone I’m capable of saving?”

“That isn’t, why wouldn’t you help people you care about!?” Yuuji blurted out, “If you could, wouldn’t you!?”

“If I could, maybe. Sometimes it isn’t how the world works,” Sukuna said with a shrug, his gaze level on Yuuji, “I do what pleases me, Yuuji. What is driving you to think you need to save everyone your heart bleeds for?”

There was a flush of anger in Yuuji and he regarded the curse with a scowl, hating how the Sukuna of the past was picking at something inside of him. His words were digging at the festering wounds of Shibuya and wanting him to look at them closer. It had him tensing up and his fists clenching and teeth gritting.

“Because I...because I have to!” Because he really didn’t know why other than his grandfather had said he should. He was a good kid. Good people saved everyone even if it cost everything in the end.

Everything like-

Yuuji swallowed hard, glaring at Sukuna, “What would you know about any of this?” He snapped, “You just- you and your-!” words were failing Yuuji as his anger boiled up.

Sukuna was watching him, that same smirk on his face, “You want to fight me don’t you?”

“Yes,” Yuuji grounded out.

The king of curses chuckled and spread out all four arms, “Then fight me Yuuji and don’t hold back. You don’t get strong by second guessing your every hit!”

He didn’t know what insanity was in his head. The anger was explosive in his chest as he launched himself at Sukuna. He sent attack after attack, letting his cursed energy roar about his fists and in his ears. The four armed sorcerer was blocking such attacks, moving around them with the ease of someone who found every movement predictable.

Boring was what the future him called it.

It had Yuuji gritting his teeth, throwing everything he had into the attacks, but the frustration was building as Sukuna wasn’t even using his cursed technique or even putting him down. Yuuji jumped back, trembling as he glared at the curse, “You aren’t even trying,” he spat.

“Of course not,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “Why should I?”

“Because!” Yuuji snarled, “If I’m giving my all, shouldn’t you do it too?!”

“Maybe,” Sukuna said with a shrug, crossing his arms, “If this was one of those stupid heroic tales where everything is fair and balanced and well, maybe if I did try, you would be dead and I don’t want to kill you brat,”

Yuuji gritted his teeth, “And what if I would want you to kill me!? Wouldn’t that make you happy!? Because you hate me so fucking much!? That you insult me and destroy everything I love, that you try to rip me down and leave me feeling like...like-”

A sob was choking in his throat as Sukuna watched him. Yuuji could feel his legs trembling as all the horrible feelings rose up in him. The wounds he wouldn’t acknowledged blackened with rot, now starting to bleed again. He could feel tears and hated himself all the more as he knew he would be mocked again. He was weak. He was not worth being here anymore. If he hadn’t swallowed that finger. If he hadn’t-

He flinched away when a hand came up under his chin and let out a biting snarl as he tried to pull away. The grip tightened, forcing him to stand still, shooting a wild eyed gaze up at Sukuna. There was something different in those ice blue eyes. Something almost soft.

It would almost be pity if Yuuji was convinced Sukuna couldn’t feel that.

“How long have you been hurting like this and covering it up under everything?” Sukuna asked.

The question made those wounds of Shibuya bleed even more and Yuuji felt himself trembling, “I’m not covering up,”

“You are coming here for a reason, aren’t you?” Sukuna pressed.

Yuuji swallowed, “I...I’ve felt happy here. Things are just,” He trailed off, his gaze sliding up to those four eyes, “Different. Better,”

“And why is that?”

He closed his eyes, sucking in a breath, “Because I can feel like I’m living again. Not just-”

Not just slowly dying was what he wanted to say, but the words weren’t coming out. Sukuna’s grip on his chin lightened, a thumb brushing over Yuuji’s cheeks to swipe away a tear that had managed to find its way out. Yuuji felt more exposed in that moment than at any point in his life. He was waiting for the cruel words. The cutting remarks. To be so vulnerable before someone like Sukuna who would, who always would-

“You say you break, but I wouldn’t say you are the type to break easily, Yuuji,” Sukuna finally said, voice low, “Which is admirable and annoying all at once,”

He sighed, crouching down and dragging Yuuji down with him, resting their foreheads together as he stared at the younger sorcerer. Yuuji just gawked back at him, almost in shock that nothing rancid had come out of the king of curses’ mouth.

“You are such a brat,” Sukuna drawled, “You wear your emotions on your sleeves. You are weak, but at the same time, I don’t think you realize how strong you’ve been,”

Yuuji let out a croak of a laugh, “I don’t think I’m that strong when coming back here is slowly killing me,” he murmured.

Sukuna smirked, “I should feel honored that you would kill yourself to see me,”

A faint blush rose to Yuuji’s cheeks, “Maybe,” he murmured out before glancing away, “Why are you so different than him?”

“Because everyone can change with time brat,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “We are never the same people we use to be, yes?”

Yuuji paused, turning those words over. He wasn’t the same person he was just a few months ago when he was just a normal kid, seeing his grandfather in the hospital and trying to talk to ghosts about what sea creature the president looked like. He let out a soft sigh, “I guess,”

“Just how things are sometimes brat and you can either learn to live with it or break like all the other fools that take tragedy in their lives like a death sentence,” Sukuna scowled as he rose to his feet, “And it is those weak fools I hate the most,”

The curse held out one of his four hands to Yuuji, “But I still want to show you something, if you will trust me,” Sukuna said, “I promise it is not some destroyed village,”

Yuuji worried his lower lip before letting out a sigh, “You sure about that?”

“Do you trust me?”

Yuuji stared at the ground before giving a small nod as he took Sukuna’s hand, letting the massive man pull him to his feet, “I do,”

“Then pull yourself together,” Sukuna drawled, leaning in to whisper then against Yuuji’s ear, “Because seeing you in pain makes me want to kill myself in the future,”

Those words had Yuuji blinking, staring up at at the behemoth of a man as he pulled back with a grin, tugging Yuuji along by the hand, “Well? Shall we?”

Yuuji nodded, even as something in him screamed to not fall for this. The words earlier were so like the Sukuna he knew. If Shibuya would happen again, there was no doubt this Sukuna would be just as destructive and do little to help Yuuji in the moment.

And yet something else in Yuuji could understand that, in a weird twisted way.

How strong would he ever be on his own if he just relied on Sukuna to be the one to do his fighting for him? Shouldn’t he become stronger because he wanted to be strong, not because he needed to be?

The stray thought had Yuuji’s brow furrowing as he let Sukuna lead him away from the manor and down through the village. He barely noticed the usual scared glances their way, although it seemed there was more curiosity now than tension, as if something had changed between king and subjects over time. There wasn’t a word said to them as they passed, but the usual slamming of doors and windows was lacking and there was a strange feeling of uneasy peace.

Yuuji only gave a flick to the side as he passed some of the villagers that had once chased him around for a bounty now look at him with fixed confusion. No doubt wondering what kind of sorcerer had tamed a monster like Sukuna into a more even tempter.

Soon though, the two of them left the village, heading up a dirt path towards the forest.

They walked along the old path that became more wild as they ascended upwards through the closed in forests of twisted trees. The light of the sun flitted through, casting bright spots of gold over leaves and branches, giving some flashes of colors to the darkness below. Eventually though the cloying darkness of the forest had to give way, the branches less thick, the trees fading off to open into a meadow that stretched out along the ledges of the mountain. The sun was starting to set now as Sukuna led him to the edge of the cliff.

The curse let go of Yuuji’s hand as he nimbly jumped up on a larger rock that hung over the ledge letting out a slow breath. There Sukuna stood, all four arms folded into the sleeves of his kimono, head tilted with a smile, “I often come up here. It is a nice place to get one’s thoughts in order,”

“You have to get your thoughts in order?” Yuuji asked wryly, a small hint of a smile finally cracking at the corners of his frown.

“I think everyone has their own thoughts to work out on occasion,” The king commented as he looked out over the view as the sun sat low on the horizon, “Like figuring out the puzzle that is you,”

Yuuji shook his head, “I don’t get how you in the past finds me something to look at and you in the future finds me something to hate,” he murmured as he stepped up beside Sukuna.

Sukuna gave a small hum, “Does it really matter?”

Yuuji let his gaze fall over the view and his breath caught a moment. It was like something out of a painting with how the colors of that sunset blazed over the world, melding soft gold into purples and violent reds. It all mixed and bled together. Beautiful, but also macabre in a way. Like the world bled into night while the night itself was a gentle thing easing it into its grave. Stars were staring to appear about in the darker colors, like the gods had ripped aside daylight to reveal the night below.

All the trees tossed gently in a breeze and everything melted away as Yuuji stood there.

“I guess it doesn’t really matter, “Yuuji breathed out.

“Now you’re getting it,” Sukuna said with a chuckle as he settled to sit on the rock, leaning back on one pair of hands, the other pair crossed loosely over his chest.

Yuuji gave a small nod, pausing a moment before he moved closer, plopping himself into Sukuna’s lap. The curse arched an eyebrow and looked more amused now again as Yuuji pulled one pair of arms about him, “Trust me that much?”

“Yeah,” Yuuji said with another small smile that was breaking through again, an earnest thing as bright as the sun that was setting.

Sukuna gave a hum, his own posture relaxed and one hand cupped his face, “There it is,”

“There is what?” Yuuji asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“That smile of yours,” Sukuna commented, “The one thing that fascinates me. Even more when I realize how it still comes through despite what you are holding inside,”

“Well, I’ve always been told I have a ray of sunshine hidden in my smile,” Yuuji said with a quiet laugh as he settled more into those touches.

“Even the goddess of the sun herself would feel ashamed of her smile when compared to yours,” Sukuna said, his own smile more easily coming to his face.

It was strange to see Sukuna smile and be relaxed again, despite everything Yuuji had shouted at him. There was a lot more patience in the past version of Sukuna, although Yuuji wondered why that was. The Sukuna he knew never smiled like this.

He never really smiled at all really. Even when he grinned over his own slaughter, it never seemed to be something real.

More like a performance.

Like Sukuna was so certain that this is what he was suppose to smile about, like a script.

Yuuji’s brow furrowed a touch thoughtfully as he leaned into Sukuna, eyes on the sun as it continued to sink below the horizon. One of his hands slid over one of Sukuna’s own, tracing over the fingers idly as he did so.

“Lost in thought again, tiger cub?” Sukuna drawled.

“Just thinking,” Yuuji said softly, “Not about Shibuya,”

“You think about that a lot?” Sukuna asked, eyes closing.

“Probably more than I should,” Yuuji admitted softly.

The wounds were bleeding, but it felt like something was different, as if something festering had finally been cleaned out of those wounds. He squeezed Sukuna’s hand slightly, feeling his heart jump as the squeeze was returned, “Is there any pain that has ever lingered long in your life? That every time you think you are over it, it just, comes back? Like it is now woven into your soul,”

“I do,” Sukuna responded, eyes still closed, “You don’t get over it, brat. The weak will cling to it. The strong simply grow around it, encompass and grow larger than those moments. It is a part of you, whether you like it or not,”

“Whether I like it or not,” Yuuji murmured.

And for some reason, those words were a strange comfort. He leaned back more, glancing up, “You think I could be as strong a sorcerer as you?”

“Never,” Sukuna said with a smirk, cracking open an eye, “Not even in a thousand years,”

Yuuji huffed, sinking down against him, “Thanks for the vote of confidence,”

“I like to think you’ll just try to prove me wrong to put my smug face in the ground one day,” Sukuna said with a chuckle, “I would rather that than coddling you,”

“And yet you let me live in the shelter of your patience,” Yuuji pointed out.

“Coddling and being patient with a brat are two different things. Just like wanting to spoil you rotten and helping you are two very different things,” Sukuna said with a chuckle, one hand coming up to ruffle Yuuji’s hair, “Maybe one day, when you get a brain, brat, you’ll figure it out. For now, I say stop thinking so much. There is steam coming out your ears,”

Yuuji rolled his eyes at those remarks, flushing a touch but ultimately sinking against Sukuna’s touch, his eyes closing. He let himself smile.

Because some things were just going to be a part of him now, whether he liked it or not.

So what was the use in trying to change what it was?

Yuuji nodded off in the warmth of that embrace, falling gently into sleep for the first time in a long time. He expected to wake in his room to the usual dull white of his ceiling and someone banging on his door about another meeting about what happened.

Instead when Yuuji opened his eyes, he was greeted by the familiar walls of Sukuna’s home. He blinked, having to take it in a moment before sitting up quickly. He was not dressed in his clothes, but in a kimono several size too big. He flushed, wondering how he had ended up here before looking over his shoulder. Sukuna was sprawled out, fast asleep, like a dragon over its horde. One arm tossed over Yuuji’s waist, but he was thankfully completely dressed, although Yuuji couldn’t help but notice how the kimono parted to reveal more of that sinfully sculpted test and tattoos that covered them.

Yuuji swallowed, forcing down that slight panic that something had happened and gave a shake of his head. He trusted Sukuna, even if that went against his better judgment. He let out a sigh, sitting up more and a bit confused as to why he hadn’t returned yet to the present. These sessions in the past were getting longer, which probably meant things in the present were not going well. Yuuji felt a pit in his stomach as he wondered if he had currently landed in medical again.

That stray thought of panic though had barely the time to start manifesting more seriously in his mind before he jumped as a pair of fingers slid up his spine, making him yelp.

A laugh followed Yuuji’s reaction and he couldn’t help the blush that came with hearing it. The laugh was a sleepy sound, but almost comforting, deep and rich, with no ties of malice but just a sense of honest amusement. It had Yuuji turning shyly around with a pout he had desperately wanted to be a glare.

“That isn’t funny,”

“It was very funny,” Sukuna said with a lazy grin from where he lay on his side, “I did not expect you to still be here when I woke up. You have a habit of vanishing out my grasp,”

Yuuji gave a small shrug, “I don’t really control these jumps back in past, but it well, it seems they are getting longer as time goes on,”

“Maybe being here with me is just what your soul feels is the better choice,” Sukuna said with a chuckle.

For a moment, Yuuji watched Sukuna as the king of curse yawned, flashing teeth too sharp to be human. The curse shifted some before settling down more, all four eyes sliding closed like a cat caught in sunlight. It made Yuuji smile a touch and he tentatively reached out to brush fingers through his hair. Sukuna didn’t even tense up or pull away. He very easily leaned lazily into the touch with a hint of a smile.

“Getting fond of me, brat?” He teased.

“Against my better judgment,” Yuuji said with a quirk of a smile, “You can be rather cute when you aren’t being a violent, abusive entity in my soul wanted to murder cities,”

Sukuna chuckled, “I only do that when I’m very bored and people piss me off,”

“Which happens often?” Yuuji asked with a tilt of his head.

“Not as often as everyone things,” Sukuna said with a smirk, cracking open two eyes, “That village nearby still stands. I never once did anything to them. They get jumpy because I have a reputation and have expectation. Honestly it is a tad annoying,” he closed his eyes, giving a shrug, “But that is easy to live with,”

Yuuji gave a small hum, letting his hand continue to curl through Sukuna’s hand, not sure if he trusted those words entirely or if Sukuna was telling a small lie to try and put Yuuji at ease with him. But then, that probably was always the small fears curled at the back of his mind as he knew Sukuna when he was so much worse and some part of him whispered that a tiger didn’t change its stripes from a house cat to a tiger.

A tiger, no matter how gentle, how serene, was a tiger and those fangs would rip flesh when he was there to appease his self interests.

Even with that knowledge though, Yuuji’s fingers continued to gently tease through Sukuana’s hair and even curled his fingertips some to rub at the king of curse’s scalp. There was a low hum of approval at the action and a satisfied smile was on the lips of the massive man as he let Yuuji do as he please.

Yuuji found himself smiling, even giving off a faint laugh when Sukuna shifted to press his head more into his lap like a cat chasing affection. It had the young sorcerer bringing both hands down to card through Sukuna’s hair and leaning back against the mass of pillows that dominated the head of Sukuna’s bed.

“Like that do we?” Yuuji teased.

“Such touches are rare for me. Not something you can threaten people to do,” Sukuna murmured, two of his arms moving to encircle Yuuji’s middle, “And not something people give up easily,”

“I didn’t even think you would like such things,” Yuuji found one hand sliding down the back of Sukuna’s neck and rubbing lightly over the back of the kimono he was wearing.

The action had a soft sigh escaping Sukuna’s lips, “Enjoyment is in the rarity of the moment,” he murmured, “Things you can have an abundance of can be rather worthless,”

Yuuji gave a small hum, “I guess because people are scared of you?”

“I don’t think they have invented the word yet to label what people feel when I am seen,” Sukuna said with a small chuckle.

His four eyes opened and he shifted to rest his chin against Yuuji’s chest as he looked up at him with a grin, “You are still the most fearless idiot I’ve met. Even when you are breaking down, when your hate for my future self is bleeding through, I never see fear in your eyes. It is refreshing, if at times irritating,”

A large hand rose up to cup Yuuji’s face and he found himself leaning into the warmth of it, “irritating?”

“You stand before me like you are an equal and you belong on your feet rather than your knees,” Sukuna said softly, “Without ever having earned that right by proof of ability. Such audacity before a king,”

“And you would love it if I knelt before you, wouldn’t you?” Yuuji murmured, flushing as he realized how much of an innuendo that could be taken.

Sukuna snickered, “Even if you did kneel, it would be because you decided to amuse my pride, not because of anything I forced you to do,”

Yuuji flushed, “Well, some people get off on forcing people to do things,”

The king of curses sat up some, two arms resting just beside Yuuji’s hips, another hand moving up to slide through Yuuji’s hair as the other one moved to rest against one of Yuuji’s shoulders as he leaned in, “I can force anyone to do what I want and the fear will be in their eyes and they will be compliant. Everyone else always breaks, but I can see you won’t. Whatever you give me, it is because your will will permit it, for only me to see,”

Yuuji felt his breath catch at the praise, eyes wide as the massive curse leaned in, their lips only inches apart, “And what is irritating is how much I’ll break myself and everything around me, just to be permitted to kneel at your feet,”

Yuuji felt like he had been struck by lightning when Sukuna punctuated those words with a kiss to his lips and for a moment, he forgot he could even move. His mind was reeling and there was a surge of feeling in his chest so powerful and wild that all thoughts were banished. That kiss was warm, firm, but could not demand what it wanted from Yuuji.

It waited on Yuuji’s permission, coaxing and wanting.

And he gave it. He leaned into that kiss with a shy hesitancy, eager, but unsure of if he was doing it right. The small response had Sukuna humming in amusement, almost patiently guiding Yuuji further into the kiss.

It occupied every thought Yuuji had and for the first time, something was able to chase Shibuya away. All Sukuna’s words in this past, this kiss, the feelings, every drop of attention had those horrid memories starting to have the world expand beyond the boarder of that destroyed world. He melted into it and there was a stray thought that he could stay forever like this.

What would anyone even care if he just didn’t come back?

That thought though cut through the cloud of ecstasy along with his need for air and reluctantly Yuuji pulled away. Uncertainty began to settle in his stomach and his gaze fell down to where his hands had settled against Sukuna’s powerful thighs.

“Usually people are a bit more breathless and dazed after a kiss like that,” Sukuna commented, a single finger coming up to prop up under Yuuji’s chin, “Was it not to your liking?”

Yuuji did not resist the small press of the finger, lifting his eyes to meet the four ice blue ones of the king of curses. He offered a small smile, as if to apologize for his response, “It was. It was probably one of the best kisses I ever had in my life,” he admitted, “It is just,”

His eyes darted to the side, staring out at the beautiful gardens just through the open doors of Sukuna’s room that let in the breeze to chase the slight heat of summer away, “This place feels like a dream and every inch of me knows I probably would be better off here. I would be happier here, but, back where I’m suppose to be, even though it is awful, I just...”

He was having trouble finding the words. Yuuji found himself squirming, brow furrowed as his brain tried to put the confusing mess of feelings in his soul into something tangible. He jumped when he heard Sukuna let out a low sigh and let his hands drop away from Yuuji.

“You are a bleeding heart at the end of the day, aren’t you?” He said with a soft smile, “I could court you with all the pleasures of the world, and yet you are a sort that lives to make others happy and put that before yourself,”

Yuuji flushed, ducking his head, “I guess so,” he admitted, “It is… hard to be happy when so many people are counting on me and still need me. I’m not the only one suffering, I get that and I wish I could get over myself to help them too,”

Because Megumi was quiet and sullen, carrying his own feelings of failure. Todo was struggling with had happened and the wound he carried. Maki had grown even more distant with a haunted look in her eyes. Shoko and the other surviving staff were dealing with so much loss. Gojo could still be saved if they could find a way.

He had things he could do still to help, even if the Sukuna of the present sneered and mocked him for it.

Yuuji swallowed hard, looking down at his hands as he pulled them into his lap, “I guess that’s just how I am. Wanting happiness for others, not just myself,” he gave a quiet laugh, “Guess that makes me pathetic in your eyes,”

“I don’t understand that feeling at all,” Sukuna responded with a snort, “To me, it seems such a stupid sentiment. Why make everyone happy and be miserable yourself? There are some people you just can’t please,”

“I don’t help everyone,” Yuuji grumbled, “I guess I just… want to help the people I can. The people who maybe can feel better, do better, if I am there to give them that push,”

Sukuna was regarded him then with that guarded, neutral look that had Yuuji fidgeting at it made it impossible to know what was going on in the curse’s head. Yuuji rubbed a hand nervously through his hair, “Maybe...maybe not everyone deserves kindness, but some people really do and they...they just come alive with it,”

“Just come alive with it,” Sukuna repeated, frowning a touch and all four eyes narrowed.

Sukuna rose to his feet then and Yuuji watched him stand up and feeling a bit confused and guarded. The king of curses didn’t say anything, going to the doorway to stand in it, regarding the beautiful wild gardens that would be the envy of so many. They were expansive and wild, filled with flowers and sunlight. It was so bright and the ancient magnolias casted their shade amply onto the stone walkways.

The king of curses was silent a moment before he closed his eyes, “You would stand before paradise and turn away from it to help others, wouldn’t you?”

“I guess,” Yuuji murmured, “Is that a bad thing?”

“Depends on who you ask,” Sukuna gave a slight smile over his shoulder, “To some, such an action would be considered holy and elevate you to the status of a god,”

Yuuji blinked and flushed a bit more before he looked away with a huff, “I was kidding about the kami stuff you know,”

“I know you aren’t a kami,” Sukuna said with a chuckle, “But you might still be something holy,”

His gaze slid back to the gardens, “I don’t understand you brat. Trying to figure you out and the way you act is frustrating as I think I would do just about anything to have you stay. Clip your wings and keep you in a cage,”

Yuuji tensed a bit as Sukuna turned to regard him, something almost fond in his gaze, “But you are too wild for that,”

The king of curses came over to Yuuji, offering him two hands, “I could kill you, rip you apart, and try everything to break you down and make you dependent upon me, but you would fight me. I could hate you with every fiber of my being for making me question everything and take that out on you, but you would still walk upon this earth as if we walk as equals. I could give into the absurdity of love and worship you, and you would have not a word of it,”

Yuuji felt himself flush as he hesitantly put his hands into Sukuna’s as the curse pulled him to his feet, “I didn’t take you for a poetic sort,”

“You make me blather on like an empty headed scholar, brat,” Sukuna drawled, “Which is irritating and strangely thrilling all at once,”

“See, I would call it affection, but I know you would probably kill me for saying that,” Yuuji murmured shyly.

“Affection,” Sukuna mused, tugging Yuuji closer, “Maybe I’ll save that only for you,”

And he leaned in to capture Yuuji’s lips in another kiss that left the young sorcerer speechless. It was passionate in a way that was unexpected, wanting and deeply entrenched in feelings that were not yet spoken but conveyed in action alone.

Yuuji’s eyes slide closed as he sunk into that kiss again.

Then there was no warmth and only the cold feel of a mask over his face as his eyes slowly opened to the stark rough white drop ceiling of a hospital room. There was less shock to Yuuji’s system to wake up like this, more so because it had been something he was aware was a reality of his little jumps into the past.

Not to mention how tired and drained he felt like he had just gotten out of several fights in a row without sleep or eating. He shifted some, letting out a groan as he moved to shakily push himself up. It wasn’t the same room as before, which was something Yuuji noted right away. The machines were more heavy duty and the view out the window showed city buildings rather than the campus.

Yuuji blinked before he turned to fumble for the button resting at the side of the bed to summon the nurse.

He expected Shoko to come charging in again but instead, a nurse came in, her eyes wide, “You’re awake!”

“Yeah?” Yuuji said slowly, “How long was I out?”

“I’ll get the doctor!” the nurse said hurriedly before running off.

Yuuji sat there in confusion, “This didn’t happen last time,” he murmured.

“Last time you weren’t away from your damn body for nearly two weeks,”

Yuuji tensed at the scathing voice of Sukuna echoing in his head. The same voice as the man in the past but filled with such anger and malice it had Yuuji grimacing.

“Nearly two weeks?” Yuuji murmured, running a hand through his hair.

“When you didn’t report in, Megumi quickly entered you room and found you. They kept you in medical at the school for a day or two hoping you would wake up,” Sukuna sneered, “And when they started to need an IV drip and feared you had slipped into a coma, they moved you here,”

“Where is here?” Yuuji murmured.

Before the curse could answer, a doctor appeared, Shoko beside him and looking relieved and concerned all at once. He looked over at them, blinking a bit as he moved to try and take the mask off, “Where am I?”

“The Central Jujutsu Technical Hospital,” Shoko said as she stepped forward to help him with the mask, “Sort of a hospital more centralized in Japan that deals with patience afflicted by curses, cursed techniques, and the like from all over the country,”

“We assume that your current spells of unconsciousness might be a result of a curse,” the other doctor said as he pushed up his glasses and looked over a clipboard he held, “Something related to the curse inside you having adverse affects, given your report last time,”

“You blithering fools,” Sukuna snarled from the mouth on Yuuji’s cheek, “You think I am the cause of this!? I have no intention of letting my vessel end up dead from his soul leaving his body to frolic into the past!”

“He’s lying,” Yuuji said quickly with a growl as he looked away, “He’s completely responsible for all of this,”

It was partially true. Yuuji doubted he would want to be throwing his soul into the past if not for the awful behavior and torment this Sukuna always caused him. It was enough of a statement to have Sukuna snarling openly but holding his tongue. The anger coming off the curse felt like a hot prickling under Yuuji’s skin but he brushed it off.

Maybe he was kind to people, but Yuuji was starting to realize his kindness was a finite thing and there was no point wasting it.

Not on the bastard who couldn’t return a drop of it.

Shoko was glancing his way as the doctor looked at the machines and Yuuji avoided looking at her, his gaze on his hands.

“Well, your vitals are still not where we would like so I would like to keep you a few days,” The doctor said, looking between Yuuji and Shoko, “Especially if there is a risk he might slip back into one of these coma spells. With how weak his body was growing after this last one, probably best to keep him on a reduced IV as we make sure he is getting what he needs to regain full strength,”

“My body is weakening?” Yuuji murmured.

“Well, two weeks without properly eating and drinking can do that to a body,” Shoko said with a small smile that was meant to be comforting but brimming with worry in her tired eyes, “And something is making it worse I feel,”

“The soul and body are one unit. If one is not present, the other will atrophy faster,” Sukuna spat out, “The brat’s soul is leaving and it is going to consistently get worse,”

Yuuji snorted, “Since when have you ever wanted to be helpful in your life?” he murmured.

“I’ve been helpful to you many a times, brat, or is your memory of the past now slipping away?” Sukuna sneered.

Yuuji didn’t answer the curse, frowning and biting his tongue as he wanted to once more snap that the thing in his soul now was the pale imitation of the Sukuna that he met in the past. Shoko’s expression was one of confusion as she reached out to touch Yuuji’s hand making him flinch just a touch.

“Yuuji, is there...something you aren’t telling us?” she asked softly, “If this is something soul related, we have ways to help you know,”

“It isn’t soul related,” Yuuji murmured, feeling guilty for lying to her, “I wake up stuck with Sukuna and having to put up with him,”

“You put up with nothing from me,” Sukuna growled, “You enjoy it,”

“Not this Sukuna,” Yuuji interjected, “Like a dream sort, you know? I probably would be awake in like five minutes flat if it wasn’t some sort of weird dream because he loves to kill me awake,”

He gave a humorless chuckle at that, offering Shoko a smile in hopes she would drop the topic, “Best not to listen to him. His whole point is to make us all worried sick, hurt people, and all around be a liar if it means hurting us the most,”

The anger of Sukuna was boiling under his skin but he ignored it. Shoko gave another hesitant smile as she rose to her feet, “All right, but if there is something you need or something you think might help, let us know? I promise, any request you make, I’ll make sure you get it,”

“I will,” Yuuji promised, “Thank you,”

And he felt all the worse when she and the doctor left to talk and the nurse bustled in with a small feast for him to get into his body. Hospital food never tasted so good and Yuuji had eaten a lot when he had visited his grandfather. Maybe it was just the hunger and as far as his body was concerned, he hadn’t eaten in so long. After that, it was mostly just laying around as Shoko and the doctor poked and prodded him and took his vitals before leaving him with the TV remote and his laptop until he grew tired enough to fall into regular sleep again.

Or rather, Sukuna dragged him down into his domain as if to ensure that Yuuji wouldn’t go off to the past again.

The dark, bloody realm was as unwelcoming as ever and Yuuji had to hold back an irritated sigh as he shot a look towards the leering king, “I was just going to go to normal sleep,” he complained.

“I don’t trust you to heed that,” Sukuna sneered, “Since despite my warnings, you keep flitting off to the past,”

“So what? Just going to keep me in your domain when I’m trying to sleep?” Yuuji growled.

Sukuna’s four eyes narrowed as he regarded Yuuji from were he sat on his throne, “If I have to put you in a cage of my making to keep you from destroying yourself and leaving me only with this damn husk of a body, then I will. I’m not going to lose you,”

Yuuji tensed at that, baring his teeth slightly as his shoulders tensed, “I don’t want to be here. I hate this place,”

The king of curses regarded with a scowl before he closed his eyes. The whole of the domain was still for a moment before the pools of blood rippled and then pillars of the shrine began to rise up morbidly. Masses of bones crumbled and fell away as red tinged pillars took their places, bony black hands spreading out to form roofs and floor laying itself out before Yuuji’s feet. It felt like looking at a darker version of the home Sukuna had in the past. It was missing the color and warmth, now all reds and black with sinister light hanging from the ceilings in the form of harsh candlelight.

There were no gardens, only bones that stretched out around and the awful mouth of the shrine lording over it all like a hideous god. Sukuna stepped down from where he sat, approaching Yuuji who only tensed more, “Is this more to your liking then?”

“Looks like a cheap imitation,” Yuuji growled back, lifting his chin.

“There is a limit to what I can do in terms of aesthetics from within a soul,” Sukuna retorted, eyes narrowed, “I’ve done what I can to try and recreate it,”

“Surprised you can even make anything when you seem to want to show me how best you take apart the world,” Yuuji growled.

Sukuna was staring at him, a sneer on his lips and his posture so tense. It made him look almost like a cornered predator, ready to pounce and attack. Yuuji could see how the king of curses’s hands curled into tight fists before flexing out in a flourish, as if he was more than ready to once more to fall to his habits of tearing Yuuji apart for his own amusement.

“I can take apart the world just as well as my past self did, or do you want to ignore all the faults I carried back then just to pretend somehow I was better?” Sukuna spat, “the only difference between us-”

“He smiles more. Like really smiles,” Yuuji interrupted, staring at Sukuna with a blank look, “And he laughs too. When he speaks to me, it feels like he understands me better than I know myself sometimes. That when I’m out of my mind, he’ll drag me kicking and screaming back to earth and make me see that there isn’t just...nightmares in my mind. Not everything out of his mouth is just wanting to make me hurt and break me,”

Yuuji swallowed as his hands clenched at his side, “And when he kissed me, I felt like I could be strong enough for him,”

Sukuna was staring at him with such an unreadable expression, somewhere between a wince, a look of hatred, and longing, all mixed up into something ugly that glinted in those four savage eyes. Yuuji met that gaze without backing down, stubborn to the end. The king of curses looked away first and gave a roll of his eyes as a hiss escaped him, “This is about Shibuya, isn’t it? What I forced you to see?”

“And how you made it feel like it was all my fault,” Yuuji snapped, trembling some as that awful vision was crawling back into his mind, “But… but with him. I feel I can grow around it,”

He expected Sukuna to scoff, to sneer at him. Instead, the king of curses gave him a tired look as he sunk down to sit on the edge of the porch of the dark imitation of his old home, “You aren’t growing around it brat. You are running from it,” he said, staring at him, “It is a slow suicide that you want to justify as healing,”

“I’m not running away from anything,” Yuuji snapped, “I came back, didn’t I?”

“And you are going to leave me again,” Sukuna said, resting his arms over his knees, “You think this whole thing is leaving me unaffected? That I’m not remembering everything? That I wish I could make this place like it was?”

He looked away with a grimace, casting four eyes about his realm with an air of disdain, “Prisons aren’t suppose to look lavish, brat,”

Yuuji crossed his arms, defensive and hating how in that moment he was reminded more of the Sukuna he knew of the past. He looked away, frowning, “I just want to sleep normally,”

“But you won’t,” Sukuna said softly, “Because you are going to just go back when everything gets too much instead of trying to talk to me. Because he’s the saint and I’m the devil that’s left over despite us being the same damn thing,”

Yuuji glanced back at him, feeling a creep of something up the back of his spine that wasn’t just hurt and anger. Sukuna was just sitting there, looking utterly tired, all four eyes closed, a grimace set on his lips. The false home began to drop away silently, like a shadow falling over it, crumbling it back to bones and blood.

He swallowed hard before looking away, “You could have not forced me to see Shibuya,”

“How could I when none of these feelings existed until now brat? You are rewriting the past and giving me all these memories, a different you. A you that isn’t the one I met,” Sukuna tensed a touch, opening his eyes to look side-long at Yuuji, “The anticipating of a one-thousand year long wait to see you again only to realize fate decided to destroy everything before there was a chance...”

He trailed off and there was almost a look of pain in his expression before it smoothed over with disinterest. Sukuna scoffed, letting the usual expression of displeasure settle over his face, “I’m not going to let you just slip away, even if I have to use force,”

“And you should know you can’t force me to do anything,” Yuuji retorted, looking away, “I want to go to sleep. Not here. Not with you,”

Sukuna gave a snort, “Fine,”

And like that, Yuuji was slipping away from the domain, falling into the abyss of sleep he had asked for, feeling something twisting all the more in his chest.

Chapter Text

The macabre, gloomy and visceral landscape of Sukuna’s domain had become a familiar sight to Yuuji at this point. Once, this place had inspired a sense of unease and nerves in him, even a sense of helplessness at being at the mercy of the king who ruled over such a sanguine domain. Sitting in it now, glaring into the gloom, all Yuuji felt now was a sense of contempt. The blood and gore of the place no longer bothered him. The arching bones above no longer a grand sight of the malevolence, but now the pillars of a desperate cage meant to contain Yuuji within his own body.

Sukuna had made it very clear he would not let Yuuji stray from his grasp when he was asleep. There would be no flitting to the past under his ever watchful gaze. Now when Yuuji closed his eyes to fall asleep, he was dragged into Sukuna’s miserable domain to spend the long hours of the night with little to do but sit and ignore the king of curses glaring into his back.

Yuuji scowled into the darkness, hand propping up his head as he sat there in the cold, foul smelling blood of Sukuna’s domain, feeling all the more miserable and more crushed by the boredom of the macabre realm. What was once just Sukuna’s cage now was a shared prison. It had the young sorcerer heaving out a sigh, aching more for the more colorful times of the past where he could pass the time in sunlight and enjoying the lazy afternoons. This place was so dark and colored only in red that was only broken up by the pale white of bones.

“Can I go to sleep properly? Like with normal dreams?” Yuuji grumbled for the umpteenth time since this nightly containment had started, “I hate sitting here, especially with you,”

Sukuna scowled, eyes narrowing as he straightened up some upon his throne, “You know very well this whole thing could be far more pleasant if you stopped your sulking. All you need to do is ask of me anything and I can provide it here in my domain with ease,”

“It would be far more pleasant if you gave me a choice other than spending my time asleep with you. I don’t want anything but to be left alone,” Yuuji growled back, still not turning to face Sukuna.

He could hear the shift of Sukuna moving to lounge back against his throne more and could just imagine the mocking roll of eyes the curse was giving him, “And I have told you why I have to do this. You go to the past again, you may very well die,”

“And when have you cared ever about that? Yuuji snapped back, glaring more at nothing.

“When you started this whole chain of events of the past and reshaped this present,” Sukuna snarled, “Where what you do in the past is suddenly now in existence in the present, or do I have to try and beat into your skull how your romps to the past work?”

That had Yuuji grimacing and he couldn’t help a roll of his eyes but he held the sharp retort he wanted to throw back at the king of curses. He and Sukuna had had this argument a dozen times now and every time, it just made Yuuji’s anger boil a little bit more as well as make his head hurt over this whole situation. The time travel made everything complicated as to what was even going on. Was it creating an alternate reality? Did the present Sukuna have genuine feelings or was it a conflict that had him both wanting to hate and like Yuuji? Was the past going to change so radically that everything would change like a butterfly affect or was it that Yuuji going into the past was completing some weird paradox of time?

Just thinking about it made Yuuji scowl and he hunched forward more, “I don’t care how it works,” Yuuji retored, “I just don’t want to have to be awake here and then awake in the real world. I need a fucking break from all of this,”

“And the moment I don’t do this is the moment, being the spiteful little brat you are, you’ll flit back to the past to cozy up with the past me,” Sukuna sneered.

That comment had Yuuji snorting some as he gave a spiteful glance over his shoulder to where the present king of curses was slumped back in his throne like the most put upon monarch in history.

“He is better company than you. More handsome too,” Yuuji said, knowing full well it would make the present Sukuna tense up all the more, “Also I can hug him, which I can’t do to you because you aren’t really real outside my body,”

“I would hug you now, if you so desired, but you seem to flinch away from my ever touch,” Sukuna responded, eyes narrowing, “It almost feels like you would prefer my violence than my attention,”

Yuuji sneered, “Is there a difference with you, because the violence and attention seem to be wrapped up together in your sick mind now,”

Sukuna rose to his feet with a vicious look on his face at those words, a sneer twisting his lips, “You really want to try my patience, don’t you?”

“I thought I was floating rather safely within the harbor of your patience, or is that only for the past you?” Yuuji shot back, finally looking over his shoulder.

He watched the present Sukuna step down from his throne, crunching bones beneath his feet before touching to the pool of blood below. He walked across it like it was made of something solid, leaving only widening ripples in his wake. Yuuji didn’t even flinch or tense up as Sukuna approach, just giving him a defiant look and careless cock of an eyebrow, “What now?”

“Why do you reserve such hate for me, when you know very well who I was, was just as capable of violence?” Sukuna asked bluntly, “Do you harbor some secret dream that somehow in the past my hands were less bloody simply because I commited my violence out of sight? Or do you just want to live so much in your fantasy life that you take my ever word at face value as long as it doesn’t break your desire in the past?”

Yuuji’s eyes narrowed although his posture tensed at those accusations, “I trust his word because like you, he isn’t one to bother with lies, or are you being deceiving in the past just to keep me close?”

“I don’t care what is going in the past brat. That isn’t even the time you were suppose to be around,” Sukuna sneered, “The present though, there is a lot I can say about the now, like how you seem to be trying to commit a slow suicide as if that will spite me,”

That had Yuuji scowling more as he rose to his own feet, turning to finally confront the curse, “I’m not doing anything to spite you! Not everything in my life, not every feeling I have, has to centered on you, you egotistical prick!”

Sukuna frowned and was almost comical how confused he seemed by Yuuji’s words, “Then why the hell do you keep wanting to go back to the past?”

“Because I can choose to be there! I can choose where the fuck to go, what to do, not be..not be trapped like you make me. I’m your vessel, but you are a chain around my neck forcing me into everything! Do you think I even really want to be a sorcerer?! Do you think I wanted all this to happen to me!?” Yuuji snapped.

Sukuna stared at him, almost like he was trying to analyze some new creature that had crawled into his domain that he wasn’t sure what to make of, “You seemed rather pleased to become one,” he said at length, “All to eager to eat up what that fool Gojo was feeding you,”

“Because it was made out to be some sort of way I could help people. That it was something only I could do and that,” Yuuji trailed off, feeling his voice start to crack, “I could actually make some difference,”

It hurt to always say that and look back at how naive and bright eyed he had started this journey. How he stood terrified before the gates of the school and forced himself to go forward because he wanted to help and not let anyone get hurt. He had wanted so badly after that first encounter to show he could do right but time and time again, the brutal reality of the sorcerer world stood in front of him.

So many people dead from those poor souls in the correctional facility to the people of Shibuya. It was far from the life he had wanted. He almost felt like he carried some disease that doomed everyone around him to a miserable fate and with each encounter, the casualties only seemed to grow.

And the reason for so much failure stood before him, staring at him like he was something strange, and making that apathy in Yuuji’s chest grow larger and larger even as he tried to desperately fill it in with something good. Yuuji let out a sigh, looking away, “But what the fuck would you understand?”

Sukuna was silent a moment before his eyes narrowed,“You wanted to be an emergency respondent before any of this happened, yes? Tell me, brat, does everyone you go to save survive in that profession? Does every disaster have a miracle where everyone makes it out alive?”

Yuuji blinked, taken aback, more by the fact Sukuna had picked up on his pre-sorcerer aspirations at all from the snippets of conversation he had had with Megumi and Nobara, “No, but-”

“Then why does Shibuya bother you so much? As soon as I got out, I would cause destruction. There would be those that would challenge me and I’m not one to hold back in playing with such fools. You should have expected that outcome with the level of threat that had emerged,” Sukuna said with a sneer.

“Because you made it my fault,” Yuuji snapped back, “Yeah I can’t stop disasters. If Shibuya was some earthquake, that is different than you...you killing everyone and then making me look. Telling me this is my fault. Reveling in my pain!”

He shook his head, trembling and wrapping his arms about him, desperate for some sort of comfort, “It isn’t the same,”

Sukuna frowned before glancing away, “It is easy to hate you for containing me,” he paused as his frown deepend, “It was easy to hate you,” he corrected after a moment, “Those actions didn’t bring me much satisfaction really and I wasn’t like me doing such a thing was new,”

“I haven’t seen you in the past do that,” Yuuji retorted.

“Trust me, I did much of the same quiet often with would be sorcerers,” Sukuna said with a humorless chuckle as he crossed his arms, “I didn’t become a calamity by living a calm, peaceful life as you seem to imagine and it is just a matter of time before you have to be confronted with the beast I am, even back then and I wonder, will that be what breaks you?”

Yuuji scowled, “I don’t break. I won’t break over that. I know of the things you did. It is plastered on every trophy and grand gift in that home of yours. I’m not...I’m not naive,” he closed his eyes, “I’m not blind to it,”

“Then tell me what makes his crimes forgivable and mine unforgivable? Why does he get put on a pedestal and I the one that must be the source of all your scorn?” Sukuna demanded.

It was a question that Yuuji did not have an answer to. The two were so different and his mind still couldn’t put together that the two Sukunas could even be the same when their behaviors and manner of speaking often lined up and it was clear that the present Sukuna had the memories of a now entangled past between the two of them that was night and day to the situation at hand. There was something different in both, something his mind was trying to grasp onto. Yuuji swallowed hard, his grip about himself tightening some.

“I want to wake up now,” Yuuji said quietly.

“You won’t even answer my question, because you know I’m right,” Sukuna sneered, “Your running from the truth of the matter that the man you adore is the same man that you abhore,”

“You aren’t the same,” Yuuji said quietly, “You are different,”

“Then what is so different? Tell me that, brat, and I’ll let you wake up to your miserable pity party and sad state of affairs,” Sukuna growled, crossing his arms.

Yuuji looked at the king of curses that stood before him now. Not just a disdainful glare, but really took a look at him. His posture was not the same as him in the past. There was a tension to it, like a caged animal that was snapping at whatever got close. There was a malevolence in Sukuna that had always been there, but had been sharpened by everything and years without freedom. Something manic, something twisted, that drove every action that was now complicated by memories and emotions that were not entirely his own. He had met the Sukuna of the past as a stranger.

He had known this Sukuna as a part of his very soul since the moment he swallowed that finger and knew well his hatred and violence.

What would make this Sukuna want to amend anything between them? What was the angle, the goal? That ate at Yuuji more than anything as it felt like this was a situation that this present Sukuna would no doubt take advantage of if he so much as gave him a small edge of belief.

The present Sukuna regarded him with a blank expression, carefully hiding everything away. The past him was so much easier to read, so much more expressive as he never had a thing to hide.

One of them was bitter while the other still reigned in his pleasures fully with little to trouble him.

Yuuji swallowed hard, looking away, “I don’t know how to explain it,” he finally admitted, “But, I guess it is like if he’s summer, than you are the winter that has come long after. Colder. Less alive. Less...human I guess. More like the disaster curses and Mahito,”

Yuuji closed his eyes, “Just more a curse than anything alive,”

There was no response from Sukuna and when Yuuji opened his eyes, he was staring at the ceiling of his room with the morning light tracing faint patterns over the ceiling. The dull light painted everything in a washed out, muddle grey that crept slowly over his room. Yuuji blinked and laid their a moment before he sighed, running a hand over his face before slowly sitting up. For a moment he sat there, blinking in the dismal light of dawn before he reached to pick up his phone to check the time.

A groan was on his lips to see he had woken up at the ripe hour of eight o’clock and he debated if he should throw in the towel for a depression nap for the rest of the day. The threat of being stuck in Sukuna’s realm was the only factor that had Yuuji rubbing a hand over his face and lurching slowly out of bed to wander his room for a pair of sweat pants that didn’t smell too ripe from the lack of any laundry being done in the past two weeks.

He was in the middle of pulling a face as he tossed aside one pair that smelt like it had not had the touch of a washer in a month when there was a knock at his door. Yuuji jumped, tensed and staring at the door like it was an enemy, “Yeah?”

“Yuuji, do you have a moment?”

The voice was deep, hesitant, with an air of nerves but recognizable as Choso’s voice. It had Yuuji shifting a bit from foot to foot before he cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah, give me a second,”

He cast a look about the pile of discarded clothes on the floor before he picked up a pair of jeans he couldn’t remember putting on for a while and lacked any sort of smell which was good enough for Yuuji. He slipped into them quickly before pulling on his usual hoodie and moving to open the door.

Choso offered a small smile, although it felt an awkward thing as if the man wasn’t sure what to even do when speaking to Yuuji. It was a mutual feeling really. The sudden adoption and family was a shock to Yuuji for one thing, especially when the guilt of having killed Choso’s actual brothers ate at him. Still he put on a smile, a touch more tired at the edges as he greeted Choso.

“So uh, what do you want to talk about?” Yuuji asked.

“I was wondering if you ate already or not,” Choso said, glancing away some, “And if not, if maybe, if you would like, we could have breakfast together. I would like to get to know you properly,”

Yuuji blinked before shaking his head, “I haven’t eaten yet no. We can go get something,”

“Oh, good,”

There was a stretch of silence then between the two, both shuffling awkwardly in place before Yuuji cleared his throat, “Can go get something at the cafeteria or go out to eat or get some take-out,” he offered.

“The cafeteria is fine,” Choso said before he gave a bow of his head, “And ah, sorry for disturbing you at your room. Yuki suggested I go visit you and told me where you lived,”

“It’s fine. I’m not exactly a hard man to find,” Yuuji said with a smile as he waved the apology aside, “And I guess I could really use someone to talk to that isn’t the literal demon in my head,”

“I see,” Choso tilted his head, “You are referring to Sukuna?”

“The one and only,” Yuuji grumbled as he stepped back into his room to retrieve his phone before stepping back out.

Choso pursed his lips, his expression a tad contemplative, “I did not know he even talked to you,”

“Usually not but some circumstances of late has gotten him to be chatty,” Yuuji gave a shake of his head, “But don’t want to talk about him. Let’s go get breakfast and uh, I guess talk about brother things,”

That earned a small smile from Choso, “Sounds fine by me,”

It was awkward to start, there was no lie about that. Yuuji was clueless of how to even talk to Choso and it seemed to be a shared sentiment. The two of them had grasped at the straws of small talk as they sat just outside the cafeteria at a picnic table as the sun shown dully through the overcast sky above. The weather was not warm, but not cold enough to drive everyone inside and frankly Yuuji was glad to not have anyone present to watch him and Choso stumble through conversation like they had just discovered that human interaction existed.

It was weird to have a sibling. Yuuji had grown up an only child with no one to talk to really but his grandfather. There was no hidden extended family, no uncles, aunts, or cousins that came with it. Growing up, his company had been in old men playing mahjong and lottery tickets at the local community center while cooling themselves with fans. And Yuuji was sure Choso was used to a different sort of interaction given he had actual brothers to relate to.

It had Yuuji squirming as the guilt rose up as he remembered the reason that Choso had fewer sibligns was his fault. It was his fault and he couldn’t understand why Choso would want him close at all with such blood on his hands. Yuuji poked at the eggs on his plate, chasing them listlessly about the plastic dish they sat on. The aching guilt and questions heavy on his tongue even if he kept swallowing those words down again and again.

“The weather probably will get better later today,” Choso commented, working to keep the conversation going as he looked into the dark liquid of his coffee, “Yuki says the weather man has predicted a spell of good weather for a few days,”

“Will be nice,” Yuuji said, offering a small smile and glance up, “You got plans?”

“No. Just protecting master Tengen really,” Choso shifted some, glancing to Yuuji, “And yourself?”

Yuuji gave a small laugh, “I don’t really have plans these days to do anything. Read manga. Watch internet shows. Maybe train,” he gave a small shrug, “Just going through the motions I guess,”

Choso gave a small nod, silent for a moment before gave another glance up at Yuuji, “I was told you were in the hospital again. Is… something going on?”

That had Yuuji wincing and he looked away, “I’m fine. Just having some issues with Sukuna. You know. Vessel issues,”

“Shoko seemed very worried about you,” Choso said quietly.

“Yeah,” Yuuji paused, hiding a grimace, “She didn’t send you to talk to me about therapy, did she?”

Choso blinked before quickly shaking his head, “No, nothing like that. Just was talking to her and she mentioned you,” He sighed, “People are just worried about you, as am I. I don’t want to lose my last brother,”

Yuuji knew Choso didn’t mean to guilt him. Choso was rather blunt about his feelings and often said what was on his mind. Still it made Yuuji wince all over again and he clutched as his fork a little tighter, “Why do you think I am even your brother? I am the reason you lost two,” Yuuji blurted out and felt the regret immediately clutch onto him.

Choso was silent as he stared into his coffe for a long moment, his gaze contemplative, before he gave a small shrug, “I just can feel it, as surely as I knew Eso and Kechizu were my brothers,” He said quietly, “And their deaths were unfortunate but it wasn’t your fault,”

“How is it not my fault?” Yuuji asked, “I played a part directly in killing both,”

Choso was silent again before he let out a sigh, “Because you didn’t know. How can I hate you for that? At the time we were on opposite sides and Kenjaku had not told any of us of who you were. You were just Sukuna’s vessel. If we had know you were our brother, there is no doubt your encounter would have not ended in tragedy,”

Choso gave a small sigh as he looked up at Yuuji, “I guess I can’t see a reason to hate you. I’ve forgiven you,”

“Just like that?” Yuuji asked softly, “Just I’m your brother and I didn’t know so I am just forgiven?”

Choso blinked, looking a might confused, “Yes?” He said slowly, “I don’t think my brothers would want me to hold onto such feelings regardless and if things could have turned out differently, I know they would have been more than excited to know you,”

Yuuji felt that guilt twisting in him and almost wished that Choso would scream at him or have something more disdainful to say about him. He swallowed hard, looking back down at his plate, “I’m so sorry,”

“Yuuji, its fine,” Choso said gently, reaching out then to put a hand to his shoulder, “Like I said, I forgive you and maybe it is sudden, but I really do see you as my brother and I want to know you just as surely as I knew my other siblings,”

“But how? I don’t get it. I killed people close to you,” Yuuji said quietly, “They died because of me. I just thought they were curses, I didn’t-”

“You didn’t know and the world of sorcerers is cruel, Yuuji,” Choso gave a squeeze to his shoulder, “You need to forgive yourself. You don’t need to punish yourself for what happened,”

“But-”

“Yuuji,”

Yuuji looked up at Choso, swallowing hard. The cursed womb looked back, eyes tired, but kind, a small smile, sad smile on his lips, “Yuuji,” he repeated, “Haven’t you paid enough? It isn’t as if you haven’t lost people dear to you in all this too. Really, I’m tired of all the loss. I just want to see you happy now,”

Yuuji swallowed, offering a wobbly smile as he raised a hand to touch Choso’s own. That small bit of human contact after so long was nice, “I can try, but I don’t make any promises,” he managed out, “It’s been really hard to be happy,”

“Take your time,” Choso said, giving a small pat to Yuuji’s shoulder, “I would be terrible family if I didn’t give you the space and time to get your feet under you. All I can do is offer you my support, right?”

“Even if I don’t get why still,” Yuuji shook his head, “But...but it is nice,”

The guilt was still in his chest, but it had begun to peel away from the dark ball of emotions that had been hanging heavy where his heart was. It left things a little lighter, not much, but there was something akin to a glimmer of hope now that maybe things could get better.

The sunlight began to break through some of the clouds above to touch small fingertips of light over the small green shoots that were starting to come up out of the barren flower beds about the cafeteria. The soft bird song had started up again. Yuuji looked out over the campus, noticing the small specks of color that spoke that spring might actually arrive.

“Well, if you ever want to stop by master Tengen’s home, Yuki has been trying to teach me and Tengen poker, if you want to also learn,” Choso said with a small smile, “I’m not very good at it. Yuki says it is easy to read me like a book,”

“You just wear your emotions on your sleeves. Like me,” Yuuji gave a small smile, “Might be the Itadori curse. My grandfather was awful at poker for the same reasons,”

Choso gave a small chuckle over a small sip of coffee before he shook his head, “But I should head back. We can’t predict when another attack might come,”

That dimmed Yuuji’s smile a bit, “yeah,” he sighed softly, “Wish that threat wasn’t hanging over everything. Would be nice to have some time to relax,”

“I suppose the life of a sorcerer is a lot of living under the knife point, but maybe when things are settled, we can get some peace,” Choso gave a smile and tilt of his head, “Would you like to meet up for breakfast tomorrow?”

“Sure. Sounds great,” Yuuji said with a smile as he rose to his feet to collect their dishes, “I’ll see you then,”

Choso gave a nod before he was heading off with his coffee and Yuuji let out a soft sigh before going to drop their plates off with the spirit mindlessly cleaning them in a large sink. The spirit was new. Before it had been one of the many puppets Yaga had made. It only reminded Yuuji of just how many people they were losing day by day as things changed little by little.

Yuuji sighed before he fished out his phone to swipe for his music and putting in his earbuds as he wandered back out, not sure what to even to do that day. There was training scheduled for tomorrow with Kusakabe, but it seemed today had been left wide open for him to waste away the hours of daylight. At least it seemed that Sukuna was still holding to his silence which was fine by Yuuji.

He needed a break from his newly appointed jailer.

The campus had never been very lively to begin with, but now it felt more like a graveyard. There were so many spaces where once there had been the chatter of conversation. Every corner was a memory of things that had once been. Seas of green against the backdrop of Gojo cracking jokes while Nobara readied her hammer to slug him across the face. Of Toge getting a glint in his eye to pull some silly prank while Panda was trying to warn them of principal Yaga looming up behind them.

Simple times that made Yuuji’s chest ache for the loss of it. Just casual moments that had given him confident enough to have an excuse to keep going. Those days had made it seem like despite everything, they would have each other and everything would be all right.

Now all that was left was finding fingers and swallowing them before he would be allowed to finally die and take Sukuna with him. The only purpose left for him was to keep the curse contained. A miserable state of affairs as Sukuna would say with a sneer.

And even when Yuuji tried to tell himself it was a choice he made, it was feeling more and more like a punishment put upon him for his rush to help others.

Yuuji came to a stop then, barely even registering his music as he stood at the center of campus. A large statue of some sorcerer founder of the campus, dressed in old robes and holding up a scroll like he was the founder of reason and order loomed above him against the grey sky. Yuuji blankly glanced up at him, the face worn from ages and covered in the poop of pigeons where once it had always been immaculate cleaned.

Not even the school cared to take care of itself now. It felt like everything was slowly decaying around Yuuji.

There wasn’t a point to much of anything anymore and the whole world felt like it was sharing that sentiment.

“There you are Itadori! Why the hell didn’t you answer your phone!?”

Yuuji jolted and looked up with a wide-eyed stare as he watched Megumi storm towards him. There was a tension that crept up Yuuji’s back as he registered that Megumi was glaring at him and seemed rather upset, something which had Yuuji scrambling to take out his phone, blinking before he ducked his head sheepishly, “I put it on silent so I wouldn’t get calls at night. Forgot to turn it off,” he apologized hastily, “What did you need-”

“We had training today and you didn’t bother show up!” Megumi snapped, “What, don’t think you need to practice anymore? Finally unlocked some cursed technique talent on your own other than sort of containing Sukuna?”

The comments made Yuuji wince and he drew away, “What training? I thought it was for tomorrow, not today?”

“It was for today,” Megumi said with a scowl, “I told you a dozen times. I even told you to put it in on your phone so you wouldn’t forget!”

Yuuji hastily checked his phone calendar, shaking his head, “I put it for tomorrow though,” he murmured, “Sorry, I guess I haven’t been-”

“You haven’t been paying attention to anything, Itadori. You go about in a fucking daze all the time now, like you could give two shits about anything going on!” Megumi snapped, hands clenched at his side, “Even talking to you, I don’t even think you even listen to anyone anymore,”

A stab of guilt went right through Yuuji and he flinched, drawing back as if Megumi has slapped him in the face, “I’m sorry,” he stammered out, “Just, just has been a lot,”

“And it hasn’t been a lot for all of us? With Gojo gone, with our enemies having the upper hand in everything? How we haven’t had a single win and it is just loss after loss?” Megumi retorted, “You think none of us have been going through the same thing?”

“No!” Yuuji said quickly, “I don’t think I’m special or what I’m going through is unique Megumi, just, I’m trying! I’m really trying to be here! You know if you need to talk to me I’ll listen. I didn’t mean to miss the training even!”

Yuuji could feel his voice crack as the guilt washed over him again and that self-loathing voice at the back of his head sneered that once more, he had fucked things up with those few people he had left, “I’m...I’m really sorry,” Yuuji murmured, looking at the ground, “I don’t want to make you upset,”

Megumi gritted his teeth, staring at Yuuji before he closed his eyes and let out a slow sigh. The shadow user raised a hand to slid it through his hair as he forced himself to relax and there was a look of shame on his own face as he glanced away, “I...sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you,” Megumi murmured, looking away, “I was just frustrated. Have been frustrated, and just… took it out on you,”

Yuuji felt guilt raise its ugly head once more and he swallowed hard, “I’m sorry,” he repeated, “I really just forgot the right day. If you want, we can still salvage it. Maybe do it tomorrow,”

“I have other plans tomorrow. It was suppose to be today. Kusakabe showed up and everything and he isn’t a man that can spare much time as we lose more people,” Megumi looked away, “He asked why you weren’t there. No one had an excuse for why you just...didn’t show up,”

“I don’t need an excuse other than I’m a brain-dead idiot,” Yuuji said, trying to offer a smile at the self deprecating comment, “I’ll be there next time for sure,”

“Sure,” Megumi said, his voice flat as if he doubted Yuuji.

“You want to have lunch later? Might be a nice break to talk?” Yuuji put forth.

“No,” Megumi said, looking away, “I don’t think we have anything to say to the other,”

Yuuji didn’t think those words were meant to be malicious. He knew that Megumi was going through his own troubles, but it didn’t keep those words from cutting deep and making Yuuji feel even more helpless. His own friend was suffering before him and he was just making it worse by being absentminded and not listening. It had him swallowing hard.

“We used to talk a lot before,” Yuuji said quietly, “Things have been hard and been weird, but, I would like to talk. Even a little bit. Just to keep trying,”

Megumi just gave a small shrug, “I don’t know. What is the point?”

Yuuji looked down at his own feet, “I don’t know what the point is,” he said softly, “But when does everything need a point?”

And he could hear the Sukuna of the past saying those same words, all with a careless shrug. Yuuji looked up at Megumi, “I just want to grow around it, these feelings I mean, get stronger, be able to have things become a little like they used to be,”

Megumi gave a small nod, “Me too,” he said quietly before looking up at Yuuji, his expression carrying that air of misery that Yuuji knew haunted his own expression, “But it is never going to be the same Yuuji. How can it ever be the same?”

And they both stood there in silence feeling the ache of someone missing that used to be able to pull them out of their own personal misery time and time again.

Yuuji didn’t know what to say. He looked back down to the ground and gave a shrug, “I don’t know,” he admitted softly, “I don’t know,”

And he wished so much he did know. He wished so much he could not be there, standing in front of Megumi, both of sinking in the mud of Shibuya and the hole left by a person had been the balancing force between them.

He wished he could be in the past, the warmth of four arms wrapped about him and soft words telling him about how he was being stupid wanting to know those answers. A place with sunlight and even when the rain fell, it was never a cold thing. Not grey like the world was now.

So empty now.

Megumi let out a sigh, “I have to go,” he murmured, “I have to meet with Shoko again. For the therapy,”

“Oh,” Yuuji said softly, “I hope it helps,”

“Yeah,” Megumi looked over at him, “Sorry,”

“Its fine. Sorry I missed the training,” Yuuji said quietly.

The two of them stood silently with a rift more like a chasm between them before Megumi turned to walk off, leaving Yuuji standing there feeling more adrift. He sucked in a breath and covered his face with his hand as that hole in his chest widened more, hurting like someone had hollowed him out. Slowly, Yuuji let the breath flow out of his chest before he forced himself to walk again, this time heading back towards his room.

He wanted to be away from the world, alone and back in his cell of a room to serve out the isolating punishment that he deserved for causing all of this. Already he was running a hundred of reasons why he shouldn’t leave his room. He was even trying to find excuses to skip out on breakfast tomorrow with Choso just so he could bury himself under the blankets and lay face down in his pillow and not have to confront anything until he was needed for whatever fight. If he could see himself as just a tool for others to use, no emotions or feelings, then he could get through this.

Maybe if he lied enough that he didn’t need to feel anything, he would be fine, but he couldn’t push away how his heart was throbbing with an ache in his chest.

He was missing the past. Missing a person he probably shouldn’t miss.

Yuuji was caught up in his own thoughts again as he made a hasty retreat in the direction of his room, but even then, it was hard not to pause when someone was walking by. Even more so when Yuuji didn’t recognize who it was at first. He had to pause a moment, blinking in confusion before his eyes widened as he recognized the sullen, scarred woman slinking by.

“Maki?”

The last time he had seen Maki, she had been recognizable with her glasses and longer hair. Now though, it looked as if she had gone through a war. Her skin was scarred now and her hair cut short as if ripped up in a fight. Her usual outfit had been traded for something more form fitting as well, but it was her expression that gave Yuuji paused.

It reminded him of Sukuna in a way for how cold it was. Like a mask pulled over to hide some deeper inner feelings that were not to be discussed, like a crime or emotion that now was carried like a stain on her hands. Yuuji swallowed hard, unsure for a moment before he pulled out his earbuds and jogged up to Maki.

“Maki!”

She paused although her entire body when rigid. She barley turned her head to regard Yuuji and there was no smile on her face as her eyes met his, “Itadori,”

“I haven’t seen you around of late,” He said, on edge, but trying to offer a smile, “It is good to see you back,”

Maki didn’t say anything, only giving a shrug and looking away, “Had to go home,”

“Guessing it didn’t go well?”

The question was innocent enough in Yuuji’s mind. Maybe a tad obvious that something had gone wrong, but Maki only scowled, her eyes narrowing as she clenched her hands, “My sister died, so guess it didn’t go well at all, now did it?” she spat.

Yuuji flinched, “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“It’s fine,” Maki growled, “Just. I just don’t want to talk about it. I don’t need the pity,”

She brushed past him then and kept walking. Her anger was understandable, Yuuji knew that. Just like Megumi, she had a right to her emotions, to being upset, to finding his question a less than good one to ask and yet her words hurt. They cut through Yuuji, through bone, and into the marrow. He stood there and felt so brittle for the first time in so long.

He felt like his soul was wavering before he turned and sprinted to his room. He didn’t stop. He wanted to be away from everything as his whole chest felt like it was going to burst. Every breath was rough and his thoughts were starting to spiral. It was such a stupid thing to ask but it had opened a horrible void inside him where his self-loathing and all the rushing dark thoughts he had attempted to push down rose up in a fury. Yuuji felt the frustrated, angry tears gathering as he stumbled into his room, slamming the door behind him. He was sucking in breaths, before a broken scream erupted from him, a primal sound like a wounded animal giving a final defiant howl at its own sorry state before he was collapsing into his bed.

Everything hurt and burned and tore inside of him. The bleak grey walls were closing in, making Yuuji feel all the more claustrophobic and so desperate to just have relief and go somewhere, anywhere that wasn’t here. He closed his eyes tight, trying so desperately then to go to the past, to escape. Even if it killed him, he didn’t care. He could find relief. Just something good in his life that he felt he was doing right. Just-

He opened his eyes to the darkness of Sukuna’s domain and stood there for a moment, staring before he let out another, loud frustrated cry as he whirled around. His glare was wide-eyed and wild as he fixated his gaze on where Sukuna sat. The king of curses just scowled right back at him.

“It is rather pathetic how you let the words of others drive you to such frenzies,” Sukuna drawled, “Can you just-”

“Let me go to the fucking past!” Yuuji snarled, “You can’t keep me locked up here!”

“I can do what I please when your mind is unconscious,” Sukuna retorted, “And I am not about to let you continue with your suicide-”

“Then maybe I’ll do it quick! You can’t stop me if I wake up and go jump off a bridge! Or bleed myself dry, now can you!?” Yuuji snapped back, voice rising in a frantic volume, “Maybe I’ll batter myself against the walls of your domain until I die!”

He was so desperate to get away. Like a caged bird wildly throwing itself against the walls of its cage, not caring as bones broke in its desire for the sky. Yuuji found himself looking at those bones differently and he darted forward before anything could be said. Sukuna though was there before Yuuji could even try to impale himself upon the sharpened horns of the bull skulls. The curse’s arm wrapped about Yuuji’s waist, pulling him flat to his chest as the other hand came to fist tightly into Yuuji’s hair.

“Calm down brat!” He snarled, “What is wrong-”

“Let go of me!” Yuuji squirmed, turning his head enough to sink teeth into skin and making Sukuna jerk more in surprise that Yuuji would try such a thing.

The grip of his other arm wrapped about Yuuji though kept the frantic, sobbing sorcerer in place, “You damn brat!”

“Let go of me! I don’t want to fucking do this anymore! I can’t do this anymore!” Yuuji sobbed out, “I’m going to get out of here! Going to get out of all of this!”

“I’m not going to let you kill yourself!” Sukuna’s voice was no longer calm and there was a tad of something more desperate in his own voice as he wrapped both arms about Yuuji in an attempt to keep him still, “I can do enough outside your body to-”

“You can’t,” Yuuji choked out, “You can’t do anything to stop me now. I’m going to get away, one way or another. I can’t just sit in bed, I can’t just watch everyone just...I just keep hurting people! Everything is my fault and I make things worse and nothing works out!”

Yuuji went limp, unable to keep the sobs out of his voice as he hung there helpless in Sukuna’s grip, “I just want to be happy again,”

Because he hadn’t been happy for a long time. Only those forays into the past had brought something passing as happiness to him once more. It had been such a needed relief to feel normal and to joke around and not fear Shibuya would come crawling out. Even when that horrid event did, there was someone to banish it like a bad dream and help him to look at it.

Now the devil inside him was denying him even that small bit of joy which was only digging the hurt in his chest deeper and closing the world in around him. Yuuji shook his head, wanting to curl up, but feeling too trapped to even do that.

“How can you be happy when you don’t even try to let yourself be happy?” Sukuna growled.

“When did you ever care about me being happy when everything you do makes things worse?” Yuuji spat back, “You are enjoying this aren’t you? I’m breaking. I’m at your feet, your mercy as you tell me what to do and how to feel. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Sukuna was silent before he glanced away, teeth bared, “It isn’t what I wanted,” he said quietly.

He let go of Yuuji then who just slumped onto his knees. He curled up at last, as if trying to seek out some small bit of comfort like a cornered animal finally accepting its end. He didn’t even look at Sukuna who stared down at him.

All he could do was flinch and tug away when Sukuna moved to put a hand on his shoulder, “You still have Choso,”

“I barely know Choso,” Yuuji spat, “And as soon as he gets to know me, he’ll probably just hate me too! Because everyone starts to hate me! Because I fuck up everything!”

The king of curses was crouched beside him in a squat, hands listless over his knees as he regarded Yuuji with an expression that was hard to read. There was irritation, uncertainty, and something else that was tugging his mouth into an open sneer.

“Brat-”

“Why won’t you just let me go?” Yuuji whispered, “Can’t I have one fucking choice in my life without you?”

“You seem to think you have plenty of options if I let you wake,” Sukuna retorted.

Yuuji gave a choked sound, “The only options I have are just to go fucking kill myself apparently,”

That had Sukuna flinching and his gaze flicked to the side. There was a long moment of silence in that dark realm before the king of curses closed his eyes and rose to his feet, “I won’t stop you then,” he said quietly, “Go into the past. Let yourself die. Nothing I say clearly matters to you when I say it in the present but maybe you’ll listen to him and decide to have some value in your pathetic life,”

Yuuji didn’t turn as he heard the king of curses walk away. He laid there for a long moment before slowly sitting up, glancing over. Sukuna was no where to be seen. The shrine, the pile of bones, all of it was gone leaving that empty, aching void that seemed to reflect the spiral of awful thoughts that were gathered in Yuuji’s chest. Yuuji took a deep breath, rubbing a hand over his face. He felt so tired. He felt guilty. He felt like he couldn’t make any choice and then had too many choices to make. He wanted to see Sukuna in the past but knowing the present one was right.

He sat there for so long in that cold, empty void, starting to miss having the macabre presence of Sukuna, but the curse had done as he asked. All that was left now was for Yuuji to make the choice he wailed that he needed so desperately.

Yuuji swallowed before he let out a sigh and let himself fall backwards. His back didn’t touch liquid. Instead it felt like he was sinking away and falling away from his body.

He wanted to go back to the past. Just to taste that happiness again and feeling disconnected from the tragedy of his life.

Maybe he was addicted to a lie, but even a beautiful lie was better than the truth he wasn’t ready to confront.

Chapter Text

The sound of birdsong and the tinkling of chimes echoed about in Yuuji’s head as he jolted awake once more. He sat up quickly, aware of being in a mess of soft blankets with the lazy sunlight of the late morning coming in through the open doors of the familiar room he found himself in. He sat there for a moment, feeling the tickle of the warm breeze moving through the room, bringing with it the scent of flowering trees that stood in the gardens and the smokey scent of a morning fire probably lit for breakfast. Yuuji blinked as he glanced about and let out a sigh of relief as he took in the usual unruly mess of Sukuna’s room.

For all his great power, it seemed the king of curses could rarely be bothered to put things away, leaving his innermost lair of a bedroom in a permanent state of slight disarray. The sight though was a comfort, a familiar mess that brought back many of a fond memory spent in this room sipping tea and sake while Yuuji muddled through trying to learn an instrument.

Yuuji’s shoulders slumped and the stress and anxiety slowly began to unravel from his heart as he closed his eyes and let the scent of Sukuna’s room and the smell of spring sooth his senses. For a long moment he sat there before he gave another glance about. There was no sign of the king of curses, which had Yuuji shifting with a small spike of nerves as a part of him wondered if he had gone out. He couldn’t shake the words of present Sukuna who had accused him harshly of ignoring the very nature of the curse and his violence just to immerse himself in this bubble of paradise. There was never any accounting for what Sukuna did when he was out of sight after all. Yuuji swallowed, closing his eyes before he was pushing aside the blankets and scrambling out of the bed and exited the room in an effort to hopefully find the king of curses quickly to further soothed his frazzled nerves.

Thankfully, it was not hard to find Sukuna. It was hard to miss the king of curses with his large frame and the feel of his aura. Relief flooded Yuuji as he padded up to the open doorway of one of the rooms on the outer edge of the estate with a curious tilt to his head. Sukuna had his back to the door and all four hands were working at the loom that had been moved out to a more open area of estate to enjoy the good weather. Yuuji stood there a bit in confused as he watched Sukuna worked at something, all four eyes narrowed in concentration as he tugged at a lumpy thing that was slowly starting to emerge on the loom.

“Seems you’ve taken up a new hobby,”

Sukuna jolted a bit at Yuuji’s word and all four eyes blinked in unison before he looked over his shoulder. A wry graced his lips then before he turned back to the weaving he had been working on.

“I was told by a little tiger that I should broaden my horizons and learn to use my many treasures,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “Although this one is a bit more aggravating than I would like,”

Yuuji moved in closer, a curious tilt to his head as he looked at what Sukuna was working on, “And what are you trying to make?”

“A scarf for you,” Sukuna said with a frown and perhaps the barest hint of color to his cheeks, “You did say if I made you something, no matter how hideous it was, you would wear it,”

Yuuji could feel the blush rising to his cheeks as he glanced away. He could practically feel his heart start to pick up a few paces and the mix of emotions, so heavy, starting to melt away with such a small gesture from Sukuna like that, “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“It is going to be atrocious, but it was made with the utmost pride,” Sukuna said with a smirk, “If you don’t wear it, you might break my heart,”

“If you had one to break,” Yuuji retorted with a small smile.

Sukuna chuckled, turning back to the loom, “True. I think I gave that away to someone else to break, yes?” He gave a glance to Yuuji with a wide grin and Yuuji swore he felt his heart skip a beat and his cheeks go even more red.

“Uh, I wouldn’t know anything about that,” Yuuji stammered as he moved to kneel down next to him to watch him work.

“Nothing at all, little tiger?” Sukuna asked with an amused look on his face.

Yuuji shook his head as he watched all four hands return to the task of weaving with awkward tugs and pulls but slowly making progress row by slow row, “Nope. My head is too busy with serious things to think about something like that,”

“Then maybe we should empty all two thoughts you have in there so you can focus on something more important,” Sukuna teased.

Yuuji gave a small huff, “I have more than just two thoughts in my head,”

“And yet you always have a dumb expression on your face,” Sukuna chuckled as he Yuuji shot him a look, “I’m kidding, tiger. Relax your fangs,”

“Bastard,” Yuuji grumbled.

He fell silent, content to watch Sukuna continue to work. The colors were nice. A dark red with some flex of white being worked in as the king of curses attempted some sort of fancy design of cherry blossoms. It was hard to say if they would turn out or look like squiggly blobs in the yarn by the end, but either way, it warmed something in Yuuji’s chest just to see Sukuna attempting something nice. Yuuji watched for a while more before he glanced away with a sigh.

“Something on your mind, cub?” Sukuna asked without taking a single eye off his work.

“A lot of things,” Yuuji admitted, “But I don’t really want to talk about it. Talking about it just makes it all hurt more,”

“Afraid of a little pain now?” Sukuna commented, “That isn’t like the reckless tiger cub I know that would get himself thrown from a horse just for the thrill of it,”

Yuuji pulled a face, “Not that kind of pain,” he grumbled, looking away, “The other kind. The one that just...feels heavy all the time,”

Sukuna gave a shrug, “Then do something to lessen it,”

“And if nothing I do makes it go away?” Yuuji asked with a frown, “then what do I do?”

The king of curses hands paused in his weaving as he turned to look at Yuuji with a tip of his head. His gaze was searching and Yuuji straightened up, feeling like Sukuna was staring right through him. After a moment Sukuna leaned forward, one hand coming up to brush a finger under Yuuji’s chin, “Then find someone to share it with, tiger cub, until you can carry it on your own,”

Yuuji felt himself swallow, breath hitching at the gesture and he quickly looked away, “You trying to flirt with me or something?”

“Depends, is it working?” Sukuna asked with a grin as he moved to rise to his feet then.

Yuuji looked up at the powerful curse and then down to the hand extended to him, “Maybe?” he admitted as he took that hand, “You are far more charming as you are now than in the present, you know that?”

Sukuna pulled him easily to his feet but gave an extra tug to pull Yuuji more against him as he leaned in, “Oh? Am I? Did I not age well?”

“Not at all,” Yuuji said with a faint smile, “Think you got a lot more bitter like poorly aged sake,”

“A travesty that is,” Sukuna said with a sigh, “A thousand years of isolation must have dulled my wit,”

Yuuji blinked, pausing as he considered that with a furrowed brow. A thousand years trapped in fingers was a long time without having to talk to someone. It was a point that rattled a bit uneasily inside Yuuji’s head as he took a small step back from the massive chest he had been made to plant again, “I guess,”

Sukuna regarded him with a tilt of his head before letting go of his hand, “You look a bit underfed. Come. I’ll have Uraume prepare us a feast and get you plumped up again,”

“It sounds like you are going to fatten me up to eat,” Yuuji grumbled.

The curse flashed a wide, sharp-toothed smile as he leaned in, “Relax cub. I have no intentions of eating you that way, however, if it comes to eating of another sort,” he let the words hand in the air and Yuuji could feel his face going a new shade of red, “that I might be more eager to taste,”

Sukuna gave a lazy grin before he brushed past Yuuji, leaving him standing there and his head rattling with all that comment promised. He gave a shake of his head before he started after Sukuna, grumbling and avoiding eye contact, “Bastard,”

The king of curses only chuckled in response as he lead the way through the manor, “Am I getting under your skin today?”

“Being really flirty and suspicious nice to me,” Yuuji retorted, although he couldn’t fight a smile on his lips.

“Forgive me for being thrilled to see the tiger come rushing back in to see me,” Sukuna responded, glancing over his shoulder at Yuuji as he approached a pair of doors, “The times when you are here are like remembering what it means to breath deep again,”

Yuuji was pretty sure his cheeks would never stop being a rosy red as he looked away, a wobbly smile touching his lips, “Been reading too much courtly poetry again I see,”

“Anything to dull the loss of your company,” Sukuna said with a wink of an eye before he opened the doors.

Beyond was a well stocked kitchen that was neatly organized and such a jarring compliment to the usual mess that Sukuna often left in his wake. It was cleaned immaculatelywithout even a single grain of rice to be left to a foraging ant. Just beyond the kitchen, another pair of doors were opened to look out onto the gardens, although what drew Yuuji’s attention was the figure that sat on the back porch, sipping a cup of tea. This new figure seemed to be a monk of sort which was strange to Yuuji, given that until this point he had not really seen anyone else in Sukuna’s home. This person though seemed completely at ease from where they sat and they gave only the barest glance over their shoulde ras they lowered their cup of tea from their lips. Their gaze slide over to Yuuji with a small cock of an eyebrow and the faintest smile on their lips.

“Ah, your obsession has returned again to your arms, my lord?” The figure asked before taking a sip of their tea.

“The tiger has wandered back into the gardens,” Sukuna returned as he crossed his arms over his chest, “And looking like he hasn’t been feeding himself properly,”

The monk gave a hum and another sip of their tea before they slid off the railing, “I suppose that is your way of asking politely for me to make something for the two of you?”

“Three if you want to join, Uraume. I won’t deny you a place at my table,” Sukuna said with a wave of his hand, “And you have yet to properly meet Yuuji, yes?”

“I only hear the tales as you describe him like a court poet,” Uraume returned as they swept into the kitchen, already looking to the ingredients in the pantry, “He doesn’t match the descriptions to say the least,”

Yuuji blinked, looking at Uraume and then up at Sukuna, “Wait, what did you say I looked like?”

Sukuna snorted, shooting a look at Uraume, “Nothing outrageous. Uraume just likes to be rather sarcastic,”

“I am nothing of the sort, my lord. I am only your most humble servant and cook,” they said with a dip of their head, but a gleam in their eye.

Sukuna snorted, “Well, behave yourself with the tiger cub. He can get feisty and puffed up when he thinks he is being insulted,” a hand came down to ruffle Yuuji’s hair, making the sorcerer yelp, “I have to go prepare something, if you could keep an eye on him for me?”

“I will do my best, but if he vanishes before I finish this meal, I will be terribly miffed and do not hold any responsibility if the tiger dances off agian,” Uraume said as they set about getting a fire going in the central pit of the kitchen.

Yuuji blinked, glancing up at Sukuna, “You’re leaving?”

“Not far tiger cub,” Sukuna promised, “I have a gift I want to give you and need to go fetch it. After we eat, I want to see you unwrap it,”

“Oh,” Yuuji murmured out, “Well, I guess I can stay here, talk to Uraume and stuff,”

Sukuna gave a hum, leaning down then to bump his forehead to Yuuji’s own, “that’s a good cub,” he nearly purred, “I’ll see you when Uraume has finished preparing,”

With that, the king of curses turned on his heels and headed away, all while Yuuji stood there in a daze. It still felt like all of this was a dream given how dismal his reality was. His heart wouldn’t calm down, even when he moved to sit up against a large bag of rice as Uraume bustle about the kitchen. He watched a moment or two with a curious cock of his head before his attention slid out the open door to the view of the central gardens. They were still as unruly as ever, but from this angle, Yuuji could catch sight of a large pond that had been put in, overgrown with aquatic weeds but the large bodies of fat carp could be see lolling about in the dark water beneath spreading lotus leaves.

“It is rare to see the lord in such a good mood. He does not often seem in such high spirits these day,”

Yuuji jumped a bit when Uraume spoke, glancing over to the monk, “Pardon?”

Uraume didn’t look away from their look, brow pinched some in concentration, “My lord has been very bored for a long time, dealing with sorcerers and having little of his old fire. Your coming here seems to have revitalized him. It is good to see him more lively,”

“Oh,” Yuuji murmured, “I thought he was just always lively like that,”

The conversation lasped into silence and Yuuji got the feeling that Uraume wasn’t the sort that cared much for conversation, especially when their attention seemed fixed on their trade in the kitchen. Yuuji shifted some to get comfortable as he looked back out to the gardens and watched one of the carps surface to take a breath of air before sliding back into the water.

“Have you considered staying this time?”

The question had Yuuji once more looking over at Uraume, only this time the monk had paused to look his way with a lift of an eyebrow as they waited for an answer to their question. The young sorcerer shifted a bit and gave a shrug, “I don’t know. I don’t always predict it,”

“I think you should. He is happier with you here,” Uraume said with a hum, going back to their work, “And I would not mind tending to two if it meant my lord was pleased,”

Yuuji gave a small shrug, “Would be nice to stay, but,” he trailed off then, looking out at the koi pond again. The surface rippled where one of the fish had come up to try and lazily snap at at fly that managed to dart away.

His mind was turning over as slowly as that fish. He wanted to say there were people that were counting on him, things he still had to do to set things right, but an angry voice in the back of his head sneered that was all a lie. He had nothing to go back to. He messed up everything in the present.

At least in the past he had a clean slate and people wanting him to be around.

“I don’t know,” Yuuji settled for with a shrug, “I’ve got a lot to sort out,”

“I see,” Uraume said with a small frown, “Well, when it gets sorted out, I hope things settle in a way that is best for you and for my lord,”

Yuuji fidgeted a bit then as he worried his lip. Uraume’s words were sinking into his mind and something was stirring around that he wasn’t ready to look at. His gaze was unfocused, half paying attention to Uraume as they bustled about the kitchen with the efficiency of someone who knew their domain like the back of their hand. He was barely aware when the monk paused to regard Yuuji with pursed lips before moving to take a tray of dishes and move to press them into Yuuji’s hands.

“Here, if you don’t mind, could you take these to the dining room?” Uraume asked.

Yuuji jumped a bit before nodding as he grasped the tray, “Sure! No problem!”

He offered a smile and a dip of his head before he was scurrying out. Uraume gave a small snort, although there was the ghost of what could have been a smile on their lips as they watched Yuuji scamper off, “Other way,” they called out before turning back to their work in the kitchen.

A flush rose to Yuuji’s cheeks as he stopped and turned about, “R-right! I knew that!”

He was not too familiar with the layout of the whole compound as he mostly spent time in the gardens or around Sukuna’s personal quarters. It took opening a few doors, most leading to empty spaces that were left unused or filled with clutter before he found the area used to eat. It felt almost odd that Sukuna’s home, for how grand it was, seemed like it was only half lived in. There was an emptiness to it, like at some point the king of curses had stopped trying to even put on the appearance of wealth and power.

Almost like Sukuna had grown bored with it all.

It had Yuuji’s brow furrowing some as he started to set the dishes on the table, half paying attention to where he set things as he mused that thought over in his head. For some reason it ate at the back of his mind, like a slow gnawing that told him this all seemed familiar somehow. Not in that he had seen all this before, but more like the signs were there pointing to something.

Something he had felt so keenly before although it was taking a different face as it huddled in Sukuna’s home.

“You know, tiger cub, most people don’t need two pair of chopsticks for one meal,”

Yuuji jumped and looked over his shoulder with a wide-eyed look only to be met with Sukuna’s smirk. A flush crept up into Yuuji’s cheeks all over again as he quickly looked back to the table and realized he had put all the chopsticks over one of the bowls rather than setting them out for each bowl.

“Right, guess my head isn’t really here today,” Yuuji said with a slight laugh as he worked to fix out the layout on the table.

“Oh? Something on your mind then?” Sukuna asked as he casually entered the room.

Yuuji glanced over again, this time noticing the king of curses had a large box tucked under one arm and couldn’t help a curious lift of an eyebrow, “My mind always has a lot on it now and days. Feels like I’m trying to sort out straw in a wind storm honestly,”

Sukuna gave a hum, noticing Yuuji’s look towards the box and he let out a chuckle, putting a hand on it, “After dinner you can see what’s inside,” He promised, “I think you need to put your sorting aside and just think about the feast we will soon enjoy,”

“Wish I could just put all my thoughts aside or pack them up and ship them off to somewhere else,” Yuuji said with a small sigh as he looked down at his hands resting in his lap, “Would make it easier to do just about anything,”

He raised his gaze to regard the king of curses before him. There was an ease to Sukuna as he sat back with such a careless lounge. It seemed that the king of curses was untroubled by the world. He was relaxed and so different than the vicious animal that the present Sukuna seemed to be. Yuuji studied his face, the hard lines of anger not there and it didn’t bare as much an uncanny resemblance to his own face. The king of curses was slowly arching an eyebrow as he set a bottle of sake on the table, an amused smile starting to quirk up the corner of his lips.

“Entranced by my beauty, are we now cub?” He teased.

Yuuji blinked before he flushed and looked away, “Just, you know, taking in things,” he said quickly, “Was just trying to really pinpoint what is different between you and well...you in the future,”

“Found anything?” Sukuna asked with a smirk.

The smirk made him look uncannily like the present Sukuna which made Yuuji huff just a bit, “Maybe,” he murmured, “But it doesn’t really matter,”

There was clink outside the dinning room then as Uraume arrived with another tray, pilled high with various dishes. Yuuji’s eyes widened as the monk carefully put out one dish and then another. He could feel his stomach growling loudly and it made Yuuji realize he really hadn’t eaten much in the past few days. Sukuna just snickered as he poured out a cup of sake for himself.

“Your stomach sounds more ravenous than my own, tiger,” he teased, “Have you really not been eating? Is it part of some strange training in the present to starve yourself?”

“No, just, you know, busy,” Yuuji said hastily, not wanting to admit it was more the depression making it hard for him to get up to bother with food most of the time.

Sukuna just gave a hum, giving a glance over to Uraume, “You’ve outdone yourself today,”

“You wanted a feast and I found myself wanting to make a good impression upon your exalted guest,” Uraume said with a bow of their head, “Perhaps entice them to stay,”

That had the king of curses smiling a bit more, two eyes shifting to look at Yuuji, “Oh? Then seems the tiger had made an impression already,”

Yuuji squirmed, a touch bashful as he looked away, “Well, I’ll be happy to try out Uraume’s cooking. It smells so good!”

“And it tastes just as good,” Uraume assured with a lift of their chin in a subtle show of pride, “I hope you both enjoy,”

“Are you not eating with us?” Yuuji asked.

Uraume smiled a touch again, “I think it is best to let you sort things out as you put it,” they said with a dip of their head, “Maybe another time,”

Then with a quick turn, the monk left the dining room, leaving Sukuna and Yuuji alone to their meal. Yuuji worried his lower lip a bit before looking across to where the king of curses was sipping lightly at his sake, eyes half closed, “I didn’t offend them did I? To not eat with us I mean,”

“I think they want to give us our privacy is all,” Sukuna said with a wave of one hand, “You can honor them though by leaving little of the food they prepared though,”

Yuuji’s stomach growled all the louder for that and he felt heat rise to his cheeks as he picked up his bowl and chopsticks, “Yeah, okay. I can do that,” he said, “I can do that,”

Being asked to eat food was probably the easiest request Yuuji had had in a long time. He was all but shoving the food into his mouth after the first few polite bites as his ravenous stomach practically wept at the feeling of proper food being put inside it for once. Not to mention, despite it being Sukuna who ate with him, the company was good, if weird as Yuuji watched Sukuna leave a second bowl down closer to his stomach so his second mouth could indulge in the feast as well. It wasodd to watch, but Yuuji had to muffle a snicker as his mind was inventing combo names for how Sukuna was double eating.

By the time they were done, there was barely even a grain of rice left to the dishes and Yuuji felt like he was fit to burst as he sat back on his palms with a sigh.

The warmth of the sunlight coming in and how full he felt made him debate upon a nap next or to go wander the gardens to keep himself from curling up into a lazy doze. Sukuna regarded him with a smile, eyes narrowed, “You look pleased,”

“It was really good,” Yuuji said with a smile back, “Best meal I’ve had in well… a while,”

“Do you not eat well in your time?” Sukuna asked with a lift of an eyebrow.

“Not lately,” Yuuji admitted as he glanced away, “Just been, tough is all,”

Sukuna gave a small nod, eyes narrowing a bit as he regarded Yuuji. It made the sorcerer squirm some as if Sukuna was trying to look right through him to get to the truth of the matter. After a moment though the curse gave a shrug, moving then to pick up the box and hand it across the table to Yuuji, “Well maybe this will take your mind off things,”

“What is it?” Yuuji asked as he took the box, noting it was rather light for its size.

“The point of a gift is to open it up and see, from what I understand,” Sukuna drawled sarcastically with a smirk.

Yuuji gave a roll of his eyes, “If this is a dead body or severed head, I’m going to be extremely disappointed,” he retorted before settling back with the box in his lap.

He took his time to turn the box over some before setting it in his lap to unwrap it with the lingering expectation that it would turn out to be some sort of macabre gift inside. Given the aesthetic of present Sukuna, he was certain it would some sort of animal skull, maybe a cow skull.

What was inside the box though had Yuuji’s eyes widening in both surprise and awe and he slowly reached in to pull the gift out.

The gift was a kimono made of the finest of silks no doubt imported from abroad and masterfully woken together. It was a beautiful white color with gold and red trim with a fearsome tiger leaping up the side of it among the falling petals of a cherry blossom tree. There was no doubt some master of their craft had made this gift and it had been commissioned with Yuuji’s personal aesthetics in mind and a lot of thought into the planning of the design. Yuuji didn’t even feel worthy to hold it as he sat there and let the silk cloth roll over his fingers as he took it in.

Holding the gift, Yuuji felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest or at least crawl its way out of his throat to lay on the ground, screaming in both embarrassment and glee all at once. There was a giddiness in his chest that felt so foreign and new, such a bright warm feeling that seemed to push away every dark thought, every worry, and every bit of sadness with ease. Yuuji just sat there, staring at the kimono as he felt a lump in his throat and a sting at the corner of his eyes.

“So, do you like it?” Sukuna asked with a tilt of his head and a smile on his lips.

“It is amazing,” Yuuji managed out, “I’ve never gotten something so nice as a gift,”

“I’ve been wanting to get you something,” Sukuna commented as he poured himself another cup of sake, “Something that would fit you well while you are here as the clothing you wear still seems so odd to me. I think this will-”

Yuuji didn’t know what compelled him to move. All he knew was he wanted to be closer while that powerful warmth in his chest was burning so bright. Sukuna paused as he glanced up at Yuuji, a question just starting to form on his lips but it was never given the chance to be voiced. With little warning, Yuuji hugged Sukuna tightly, face pressed against a shoulder where he could smell the comforting scent of spices and earth that seemed to cling to the king of curses. Yuuji didn’t want to say word, or rather, couldn’t even find the words to say as he held onto Sukuna.

All he knew was he couldn’t really express everything he felt in words at that moment.

There was surprise in Sukuna’s expression for the first time and he almost looked unsure, as if this was the first time in his life he had ever received such a gesture. The curse turned his head some to regard Yuuji a moment before with some hesitancy, he raised two arms to wrap about Yuuji. His grip was lose, as if he wasn’t sure what was to go into such a hug before he settled, slowly easing into the strange new territory of affection. There was something soft then to his expression, the confusion bleeding away to something almost gentle, or as gentle as Sukuna knew how to be.

Yuuji sniffled some, feeling the slight pinprick of tears proper then, “Thank you,” he murmured.

“I did not realize my gift would make you so emotional,” Sukuna said, tone teasing, but soft.

A shrug was Yuuji’s response as he kept his arms about Sukuna. The king of curses let one hand rub soothingly over Yuuji’s back, “If getting you things causes you to hug me like this, you are going to tempt me to put all the greatest treasures of the world at your feet,”

“I don’t care about all that,” Yuuji finally managed to say, voice tight, “Just...thank you,” his grip tightened some on Sukuna, eyes closing, “Just thank you, for making me feel happy,”

Sukuna blinked, once more a look of confusion on his face and the barest hint of color to his face. For the first time he looked at an absolute loss for words and he sat back some, just enough he could see Yuuji’s face. He pursed his lips at seeing the tears, his thumb coming up to brush them away gently, “You’re crying,”

“I’m very emotional right now,” Yuuji said with a wobbly smile, “In the good kind of way for once,”

“I suppose I should be honored that I of all people somehow made you leak your happiness then,” Sukuna said with a faint tug of a smile.

“No one has done that for me in a long time,” Yuuji said as he took one of Sukuna’s hands to lean into it, eyes half closed as those fingers curled to cup his face more, “I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now. Like my heart is going to burst and tingling all over and just want to hug you and keep you close,”

Sukuna chuckled, “Some would call that insanity,” he commented, “Given who I am,”

“And I probably am insane as I know what you can be like at your very worst,” Yuuji said with a gentle smile, “But I like you when you are at your very best,”

There was something in Sukuna’s expression, something very raw for just a moment like a pain or sorrow that was swiftly covered by an amused smile as he leaned forward, “And you think I have a good side?”

“Not a good side, just a human side,” Yuuji said, hesitating a moment before his hands came up to cup Sukuna’s face, feeling a boldness well up in him as he sat up, “The side that makes me feel strong again,”

He wasn’t sure what he was going through when he leaned in to kiss Sukuna. It was just a small shy peck of a thing that had all four eyes of the king of curses widening as if he hadn’t expected such an innocent thing to happen. He almost seemed at a loss and Yuuji couldn’t help a snickered at how baffled the usually confident king of curses looked.

“Never been kissed before?” He teased, even if his own cheeks were bright red.

“Not like that,” Sukuna said, brow furrowing in thought, “Nor has anyone been the one to initiate first contact,”

“Yes, well, I’m a bold one, like a tiger, right?” Yuuji said with a shy smile.

Sukuna chuckled, sitting up more and two hands moved to pull Yuuji closer as he leaned in, “As wild and unpredictable as one too,” he murmured before he leaned in to kiss Yuuji.

Yuuji was pretty sure he was going to melt into a puddle of whatever this feeling was in his chest. It made him practically vibrate as he leaned up, probably overly eager to answer that second kiss as he heard Sukuna snort and pull back a bit to fix him with a look.

“Easy now tiger cub, no need to try and devour me,” He drawled.

“Sorry,” Yuuji said with a flush, “Just the kisses are..really nice,”

“They are,” Sukuna agreed with a chuckle, “But you know what else would be nice?”

He leaned in, one hand rising to cup Yuuji’s chin as he whispered low against his ear, “You putting on my gift so I can admire how you look in it,”

It was not fair how Sukuna’s voice could drop to such a sultry roll that had heat rushing right through Yuuji and making him go a shade of red so deep, he was more than certain someone could have fried an egg on his face for how warm his cheeks were. He gave a small nod, shuffling back from Sukuna.

“I’ll uh, go do that now then,” Yuuji squeaked out before he picked up the kimono and shuffled out of the room and back into Sukuna’s quarters.

The king of curses didn’t follow, respecting Yuuji’s privacy as always. That was fine by Yuuji as he didn’t think he could live with the teasing from Sukuna as he fumbled over getting the kimono on at all. He felt a strange nervousness in wearing it, more hoping that he didn’t look like a complete fool dressed as such. He had to remind himself that he probably looked more in line with the time period wearing such a kimono, if looking probably like a little emperor or something. The silk of the kimono was so fine, he almost felt nervous wearing it less he get it dirty or tear it.

Yuuji turned one way and then the other as he looked over himself, perhaps liking how the cloth swished with his movements. It had him grinning a bit, maybe turning a little faster to make it swish a bit more before he was jumping at a low chuckle from the doorway.

“Looks like you are enjoying my gift,”

Yuuji turned with a flush towards Sukuna like a dog that had been caught rolling about with a new toy, “It is really nice,” he murmured.

“Would look nicer if you tied it right in the back,” Sukuna teased as he stepped over.

The commented made Yuuji blush even more and he couldn’t help a pout as Sukuna untied and began to retie the sash, “I don’t wear anything like this usually! And I can’t reach behind me to tie it right without a good mirror!”

“Well fortunately I have a hand or two to spare to help you, tiger cub,” Sukuna teased with a tilt of his head, “We can’t have you looking unkempt when we go out today, now can we?”

“Go out?” Yuuji asked, looking over his shoulder.

“The villagers are throwing some little festival today,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “Usually I wouldn’t bother myself with such things, but I think you might appreciate it a bit more,”

Yuuji hesitated a moment, giving Sukuna a small glance, “Not a fan of festivals?”

“More they have long since worn out their excitement,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “Or the fact even before I became the king of curses, they were not places I was particular welcomed. Even less so when my reputation grew. Hard to enjoy something when everyone fears you,”

“I guess so,” Yuuji murmured, frowning a touch before he turned around to take one of Sukuna’s hands in his own, “I’m not afraid of you though. Never have been,”

That earned a soft chuckle from Sukuna as he lifted another hand to brush knuckles against Yuuji’s cheek, “I know. You’ve always been an audacious brat when it came to me,”

Yuuji found himself leaning into that touch with a hum, eyes closed. He should fear Sukuna. He knew what the curse was capable of and the amount of death and destruction he could unleash. The Sukuna he knew in the present was a monster when it came to his fury and lacked any sort of empathy. Yet with this Sukuna, it felt different. All around were hints that he was capable of the same cruelty, but it felt like there was more control in the actions.

Or maybe he just wanted to believe there was more control so he could allow himself to be so open with the man who would one day ruin his life. It made something twist a bit inside Yuuji that not being able to see the carnage, made him all the more blind to what terrible things could still be playing out.

“Something is on your mind again,” Sukuna commented, cupping Yuuji’s face lightly.

“I’m always thinking about something,” Yuuji returned with a small smile before he stepped back, letting go of Sukuna’s hand, “My life has become a lot more complicated, torn in all different parts, and trying to put it back together is feeling like someone keeps dumping more pieces on the table,”

“Then maybe for a while, you can put all that thinking aside, yes?” Sukuna said, offering out a hand to Yuuji, “A simple festival certainly won’t invoke deep moral conflicts I hope,”

“Not unless you are only taking me to destroy it all,” Yuuji said with a thin smile.

Sukuna cocked an eyebrow, “I wouldn’t do that,”

And it took so much for Yuuji not to blurt out a “yet” to that sentence. Instead, he reached out to take the offered hand, opting to try and bury away all the complicated feelings in his chest to just enjoy in the day. A simple festival wasn’t meant to invoke a deep moral conflict, as Sukuna has said. It was a time to clear the mind, indulge in the festivities, and just try and relax.

The two of them walked to the village, the same one as before and Yuuji suspected the usual amount of fear from the villagers there. Usually when he and Sukuna passed through, the people who lived there would take pains to hide away or peer out at the two with some expectations of trouble. Now though, although a few people hesitated, they were always quick to get back to the festivities and there was a marked lack of tension. Yuuji cocked an eyebrow at that, glancing up at Sukuna.

“Thought you said they often showed fear with you?” he remarked.

“We’ve been getting use to each other I suppose,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “Or maybe it is because you are here,”

Yuuji pursed his lips, “Did you like, plan this festival to happen when next I appeared or something?” he leaned in, whispering softly, “You didn’t take the whole kami thing further to getting them to worship me, did you?”

That earned a bark of laugh from Sukuna who just gave a lazy grin down at Yuuji, “Tiger cub, I am fond of you, but I don’t sit around planning festivals to throw together quickly if you showed up,” he said with a shake of his head, “It just seems you have a strange sense of timing,”

“That doesn’t answer my whole question,” Yuuji said, noticing people looking over at him, even offering a relieved smile or two. Far more friendly than anyone had been in the past for sure.

“I have not mentioned you being a kami,” Sukuna assured, “Now less questions and more indulging cub, or do I have to hand feed and carry you about to everything like a princess?”

Yuuji gave a roll of his eyes at that and gave a swat to the king of curses side, “I think you just want an excuse to do that anyways,” he drawled before offering a smile, “But I wouldn’t mind trying out some of the games with you,”

“Whatever the tiger cub wants, I’ll make sure he has,” Sukuna said, taking Yuuji’s hand in his to brush a kiss over the knuckles.

The gesture had Yuuji blushing red all over again and he looked away with a huff and a pout as he tried to retain some remnants of his dignity, “Yeah well, enough standing around! There is a whole festival to explore!”

The festival was nothing like the huge ones Yuuji was use to wandering about in the present, but then, it was probably big by the standards of the village and the time period. There were little stalls here and there with treats to try and plenty of entertainment from street musicians and acrobats, to storytellers and rowdy drunken contests. Yuuji found himself all the more intrigued to jump into any competition that was a show of strength, taking some pride in how the eyes of the villagers widened when he was able to outperform their best men in feats of strength despite his build.

Sukuna watched on, amused as he sipped his sake and for once, seemed to be genuinely amused by the whole affair. Even to the point there was some point of casual conversation with some of the braver villagers who dared to say anything to the king of curses. It was strange to see Sukuna just talking with some bearded elder about the rumors of the court, scoffing at it all like a pair of housewives. Or even some village children boldly going forward to ask if he had really ate someone and Sukuna flashing a grin and saying only the naughty ones which caused wide-eyed panic and all of of the children to straighten up.

It was a strange and heart-warming thing. Something that had Yuuji smiling a bit as he cleaned off his hands from throwing around a large ball to see who could get the most distance. He was taking a small break from the socialization as he washed up in the basin, letting out a sigh as he checked over the kimono to see if he had scuffed it too badly in places.

“You are the companion of the king of curses?” a voice asked softly, causing Yuuji to turn with a tilt of his head.

“What?”

The woman who had spoke flushed and dipped her head as she approached the basin with some clothes to wash, “Ah, sorry Yuuji-Sama, I uh, was asking if you are the companion to the king of curses?”

Yuuji blinked and glanced to the side with a bit of color in his own cheeks, “Uh, I guess in a way. We get along at least,”

“Since you arrived, he has been very generous and kind to us all here,” the woman said softly, looking over to where Sukuna was smoking with some of the men, “We all know he is dangerous, but it is almost like you’ve put a spell of protection over us all which has granted us his mercy rather than his ire,”

“Oh,” Yuuji murmured, squirming just a bit, “I really don’t do anything though,”

“Maybe you don’t think so, but small things, small acts sometimes the drops that start the flood,” The woman said with a faint smile, “We are all grateful for you to be here, we just wish you were here more often,”

That had Yuuji tensing just a bit, “Does he get cruel when I’m not here?” He asked softly.

“No,” the woman gave a shake of her head as she picked up her basket, dumping some of the damp clothes into it, “But to those outside this area, he can be a terrible calamity still. Perhaps if you were here more, even beyond this village, people would understand that sometimes the calamity of change is necessary and not always something to fear,”

The woman cleared her throat as Yuuji stared at her and she hastily ducked her head as she moved past, “But ah, maybe that is the ramblings of an old woman, Yuuji-sama. I hope you enjoy the rest of the festival!”

“Yeah,” Yuuji murmured quietly.

Her words were heavier than she probably intended. They rested on his shoulders like a small burden that somehow him being here had improved their lives. If that was true or not, Yuuji wasn’t sure. He was helping this village without meaning to. It almost made him want to laugh bitterly that when he made an effort to help, he was the cause of such misery and when he had no desire to do so, he was praised for being around.

It made him question why he had even bothered to try in the present to do anything.

He wandered over to where Sukuna was and sunk into the seat next to him, causing the king of curses to pull his pipe from his lips and blow out a slow cloud of smoke with a cock of an eyebrow, “Not enjoying yourself? You are wearing such a morose expression now,”

Yuuji gave a shrug, not putting up a fight as Sukuna put a finger under his chin to tilt his head back to meet his gaze, “I think I’m just tired,” he offered with a small smile, “I’ve had a great time though and seems you liked your time here as well,”

“It was more intriguing than most times,” Sukuna admitted as he lowered his pipe more, turning it over to drop the smoldering remnants to the ground and stamp them out, “More so to watch you look happy once more. You’ve been looking more distant this time,”

“Distant?” Yuuji asked.

“Like something isn’t here like it used to be,” Sukuna said as he rose to his feet, offering a hand to Yuuji, “Like a part of you faded,”

Yuuji shifted some, glancing away, “Well, just been through a lot but being here with you, as always, restores a bit of color,”

He took Sukuna’s hand, giving it a squeeze as he looked up at the king of curses, “If you could be like this all the time, at all points of history, maybe...maybe I wouldn’t feel like I’m trying to put myself back together all the time,”

Sukuna gave a small hum at that, giving a tug to lead Yuuji along back towards his estate, “Would you let me be like this all the time?”

It was a question that gave Yuuji pause. The answer he wanted to blurt out was yes, that of course if Sukuna was like this all the time, he wouldn’t want to change a thing. Another part of him, a part he didn’t want to talk about though was whispering, so low and bitter, that he wasn’t even allowing the present Sukuna to be like this. There were times the Sukuna in the future made such small attempts only for him to shut them quickly with only suspicion and sneers.

He really hadn’t let Sukuna be anything but the monster, hadn’t he.

Yuuji closed his eyes, leaning against Sukuna’s side, “Would you be like this all the time if I asked?”

“No,” Sukuna said, as if it was the easiest answer in the world, “I will always be how I want to be, tiger cub,” he smiled down almost playfully at Yuuji, ruffling his hair fondly, “I guess you’ll just have to learn to deal with me at my every mood if you want me at my best, yes?”

Those words were cutting through something in Yuuji and letting that voice that was always a whisper start to grow louder. It was a string that was pulling the past and present Sukuna closer together, like two sides of a coin finally being pressed together and fully realized as one whole. It made Yuuji swallow hard some, opening his eyes to stare at the path ahead while he wrapped both arms about one of Sukuna’s own in a want of comfort then.

“What if your worse hurts me though?” Yuuji asked, his voice barely above a whisper, almost desperate for an answer although he tried to keep the waver out of his words, “What if at your worse, you push me away and I can’t even look at you or trust you aren’t going to abuse me again?”

The king of curses came to a stop at that question and for a moment, Yuuji tensed, expecting the sneer and hateful look that the present Sukuna would give him for such words. A bitter lump was in Yuuji’s throat as he felt he was ruining everything by putting his black feelings out there in the open, all his hurt and confusion laying bare like wounded rabbits for a hungry hawk to pick apart alive.

He didn’t dare look up at Sukuna. The king of curses didn’t say a word, but neither did he pull away, letting Yuuji continue to cling to him like a life-line in the troubled storm of his emotions. After a moment, Sukuna let out a snort, starting to walk along again, “If I become so jaded as to hurt you, Yuuji, it will an action of spite against myself,” he said coldly, almost dismissive, “And whatever punishment of the heart is to come of it, then it will be served as intended,”

“Served as intended?” Yuuji quietly repeated.

“If I hurt you, whatever you do to me in return is justified Yuuji. If I cannot earn your forgiveness, then so be it,” Sukuna gave a small shrug, “An eye for an eye as they say. If whoever I become in the future cannot keep you, then that was his mistake to make,”

Yuuji swallowed hard, “But aren’t you the same person? Why would you-”

“We are and we aren’t Yuuji,” the king of curses turned then, two hands moving to cup Yuuji’s face and force him to look up at him, “We are at different points in our lives, and this thing, this travel between times, I’m sure cannot completely change what is to come, yes? Hasn’t our story been written out?”

Yuuji’s gaze met the stern look of the king of curses and he almost felt frozen in place by those blue eyes. His mouth felt dry, and Sukuna refused to let him look away and confront this moment at last. There was a thin frown on Sukuna’s lips, something soft in his eyes mixed with a strange sort of acceptance that Yuuji felt his mind trying to wrangle with.

“No, no it won’t change what’s coming,” Yuuji croaked.

“Then why do you worry so much about it?” Sukuna asked, “If you cannot change the past, even by being here, that you cannot change me, then why does it eat at you?”

He didn’t want to answer that question. He couldn’t answer that question without admitting at last that he wanted the Sukuna now to be something different. That this place, this time, this person were the dream he wanted to hold onto and indulge and feel happy while the present felt like it was stuck in place and unmoving. Yuuji could feel the pinprick of tears at the corner of his eyes as his lips parted, wanting to say everything, but unable to give voice to any words.

Sukuna’s expression softened and he let out a soft sigh, a thumb sliding just under Yuuji’s cheek to brush a stray tear away, “You are hurting so much,”

“It’s been that way for a while,” Yuuji finally managed to say, trying to force a smile.

“And you’ll still push yourself. That is a remarkable strength that few have, tiger cub,” Sukuna said softly, “An irritating trait really. The more stubborn the fool, the more you are forced to look at yourself,”

“Is that why you dislike me?” Yuuji managed out with a thin smile.

Sukuna paused with a tilt of his head, silent a moment before he chuckled, “I hate having to know that there is someone out there who’s will is greater than mine and holds ideals that make me question my entire world view. It is irritating to be proven wrong,”

He leaned in then, breath hot against Yuuji’s lips, “But then, is it a hate for you, or a hate for myself , I cannot tell, but I think other feelings twist into the equation so much stronger than hate,”

Yuuji inhaled a sharp breath, tensing in anticipation as their lips hovered mere inches apart. He could feel his eyes half closed as they stood there so close. Those words sunk in and Yuuji felt a realization wash over him, “You’re like me,”

“More than I would care to admit, tiger cub,” Sukuna murmured, all four eyes slow to close as he leaned in, “more than I would care to admit,”

Their lips met in such a gentle exchange at first, a brush of lips and a shared, soft breath before they were leaned in again. Yuuji felt his arms reach up to wrap about Sukuna to hold him close as the next kiss was more firm and confident. There was more heat to it and Yuuji felt like he was melting and sinking all once. His legs felt nearly powerless to hold him up and he felt a pair of strong arms encircle him to hold him up and close.

He felt so exposed and so protected even though he knew he should not. Those arms about him kept him from the world as much as they forced him to look. Sukuna was always forcing him to look and confront everything, be it his own feelings or-

They parted then, panting softly as Yuuji’s gaze met that intense, smoldering look of desire that simmered in Sukuna’s blue eyes. They were so unlike the intense red of present Sukuna’s gaze. Yuuji swallowed hard, managing a smile, even as he felt the dark fingertips of Shibuya once more grazing over his mind, whispering for him to look again. Remember how it looked.

Stop looking away.

If he could accept it, if he could stare Shibuya down, then he could, at last-

“What now?” Yuuji asked soflty.

“Many things, depending on what is in your mind now,” Sukuna said with a quirk of an eyebrow, “I can assure you my own imagination has already had you a thousand different ways, in a thousand different scenarios,”

Those words had Yuuji flushing and his own imagination crept in, chasing away that near breakthrough of thoughts once more into the dark and instead, his thoughts turned towards Sukuna’s chamber. Of how the king of curses would look looming over him, barely dressed, and all the fanciful thoughts that came with it. That had Yuuji swallowing, feeling nervous and giddy all at once.

“That’s a lot to take in. In a lot of ways,” Yuuji said, eyes slowly moving down to the king of curses groin.

That had Sukuna grinning, “Oh? Already imagining how things are going to fit into place? Worried the sword won’t fit the sheath, tiger cub?”

“You could say that,” Yuuji stammered out, “I’ve never done more than kiss someone before!”

Yuuji felt himself swallowing hard as smoldering heat simmered in his stomach at the sharp look of desire that practically burned in Sukuna’s eyes as he admitted to his inexperience. One of Sukuna’s hands lightly rubbed over Yuuji’s hip, “If you are too nervous, there are pleasures to be had that don’t involve such intimate gestures of trust,” Sukuna all but purred, “Trust me, I’ll take care of you in the ways you allow me to,”

“You won’t go any further than I want?” Yuuji asked, unable to hide his nerves.

Sukuna leaned in, his breath hot against Yuuji’s neck, “Whatever you ask, I’ll do and I won’t push you further,” he promised, “If the tiger comes to play, there is no forcing it less you earn its teeth and I feel your teeth can be a bitter and cold thing that would cut right through me,”

Yuuji shifted some, feeling nervous, giddy, and all sorts of arousal all bundled up into nervous energy that had him bouncing on the balls of his feet. He gave one last deep breath before his gaze settled into something of concentration and determination as he took Sukuna’s hands in his own, “All right,” He murmured, “I can do this,”

“Oh, I’m sure you can,” Sukuna said with a laugh before pressing a hard kiss to Yuuji’s neck, “Lead the way home, tiger cub. I’m yours to command,”

It wasn’t exactly how Yuuji imagined his first time with another person would be. It wasn’t in the arms of some super tall woman with a great ass, but Sukuna was more or less the male equivalent of that, as well as more experienced. Yuuji felt like he was doing everything wrong, although the quiet praise from his partner was something he would soak up, even if it was coming from Sukuna of all people. Every touch, every moan, every breath of praise had Yuuji feeling like he was burning up.

He felt like he was being devoured by Sukuna’s hot mouth over every inch of his skin and what wasn’t being assaulted by a mouth, was being felt over by four warm hands that seemed to quickly seek out every sensitive spot on Yuuji. He might have even been embarrassed by how quickly he came undone the first time if Sukuna hadn’t looked like he had witnessed the greatest thing in his life and all but groaned in a desperate want for Yuuji’s own attention.

The whole experience was intense and there wasn’t a thought to be had as Yuuji’s mind was filled with want, heat, and desire for more that let him to permit the sword to its sheath, even if the stretch was far more than he anticipated.

It was a beautiful heat that melted him down to his barest, most primal emotions, all the way to the bone, leaving nothing behind but a simmering warmth as he lay nestled in four arms, head pressed against a solid chest and a steady heartbeat that was slowly calming with each breath. Yuuji couldn’t help but close his eyes and smile, arms wrapped about Sukuna and sinking into the first moment of boneless emptiness he had had in a long time.

He laid there in the dark, secure and wishing he could really lay there forever, but deep down, his soul wasn’t yet committed entirely to this time and something in the present, as always drew him back.

Yuuji closed his eyes and opened them once more and no longer gazed out over the ancient structure of Sukuna’s room, but instead the grey of a hospital ceiling and the feeling of being boneless now translated to an inability to rise up. His body felt so tired and heavy, like someone had taken out all his flesh to replace it with sand beneath his skin.

Yuuji blinked slowly, his breath a slow rattle into his chest and feeling like even that was a great effort to achieve. He felt just as weak, but in a way that left his body aching in ways that he knew it shouldn’t. It felt almost like his soul was barely able to recognize the vessel it was suppose to inhabit, like his limbs had become strange creatures to wrangle as he tried to sit up some with a low miserable groan from behind the oxygen mask he wore.

“You’re awake!”

Yuuji blinked slowly and turned his head, half expecting to feel the warmth of arms about him that belonged to that voice, even if it was frantic, “Sukuna?”

“You’ve been asleep for a long time. They’ve put you in this hospital to recover again,” The voice repeated, although Yuuji’s groggy mind realized that the king of curses was more in his mind than a physical body in this dull time, “I told you to not go back. Just look at what you are doing to yourself!”

Yuuji frowned, but he let his gaze fall down to his body. He had to blink as he raised a hand, the fingers more bony, like he hadn’t eaten properly in days. He could tell he had lost weight beyond what was probably normal. He did not look healthy and he grimaced as he realized he probably looked more like a skeleton. It awoke in him a tremor of worry, a panic he had yet to experience when he had sunk into the past as if now, the more physical repercussions were starting to sink in.

“Am I dying?” Yuuji croaked out.

“Your body cannot function without its soul, brat,” Sukuna growled, although there was something in his voice that was less angry and more frantic, “There is only so much I can do while your soul removes itself elsewhere. Keeping you alive is not an easy task, brat,”

“Oh,” Yuuji managed out, closing his eyes.

“Oh? Just oh?” Sukuna snarled, “That’s all you have to say about this!?”

And then Yuuji felt like he was sinking into his own body and falling through darkness as he was forcefully dragged down into Sukuna’s domain. The tiredness didn’t leave him, not entirely. More it felt like the fatigue that hung heavy in his limbs made his mind feel foggy, as if he couldn’t quiet focus on what was causing him to feel so tired. A weariness that went further than flesh and into his bones that had him staggered as he arrived in Sukuna’s domain.

He tensed, as a pair of hands grasped at his shoulders to steady him, although he had to wince at the bite of nails into his shoulder.

“Just look at you now. I thought you pathetic before, but now, now you are so willingly kill yourself for an illusion,” Sukuna sneered, “Where is your determination? You once stood so tall against me, unwavering even when lesser men would have long since broke,”

Yuuji blinked, scowling a touch as he looked up to meet Sukuna’s glare. All four eyes were focused on him, although for how mocking the king of curse’s words were, the look behind those red orbs were one of almost panic. There was a wide-eyed look like an animal so afraid of something coming and yet it remained trapped in its corner, for the first time powerless in its own domain.

It was not a look that fit the king of curses well and something in Yuuji twisted for the first time and he looked away, swallowing hard.

“I’m trying, okay?” Yuuji managed out, although his voice was cracked and tired, “Hard to want to be here when back then...”

He trailed off as the memories of the past, of that gift, those moments shared, and that night that still had Yuuji flushing to recall came to the forefront. That feeling of being safe, secure, and seen after so long of trying to hard to fit into the role everyone wanted.

“Back then it is just easier to feel wanted,” Yuuji finished softly.

The king of curses regarded him, his expression so guarded, but could not hide how it softened for the first time around the edges.Sukuna’s hand was soon curled about his chin, firm but oddly gentle in trying to coax Yuuji to look at him, “Tiger cub, you don’t need to kill yourself when I’m right here,”

The use of that nickname, spoken with the same soft intonation, so fondly given, had Yuuji jolting some, quickly turning to look at Sukuna, eyes wide. It wasn’t the same face, not exactly. There were differences of course, but in those eyes, now a burning red, there was something familiar, even if only for a moment Yuuji had seen a glimpse of it in the past.

That aching emptiness that wanted nothing more than to be filled by something.

“It isn’t the same though,” Yuuji said quietly, one hand tentatively reaching up, almost unsure of what even to do before finger tips grazed against the back of the hand cradling his face, “You know that, right? After what you’ve done,”

“And what can I do to earn your forgiveness for that?”

Sukuna’s hands lingered on Yuuji. His fingers idly traced over skin and he drew closer, as if he needed to indulge in the feeling of being able to touch Yuuji without the sorcerer flinching or pulling away from him. There was some need to feel that had Yuuji biting his lips, examining the shifting emotions in the usual taciturn present version of Sukuna.

The mask was completely cracked and fallen away now and the pain, the one thousand years of boredom, loss, and frustration revealed for what it was, all mixed with new memories and feelings that made it all more complicated. Sukuna was a contradiction, Yuuji realized, fighting against his own desires while indulging in others.

As if he had to create walls that somehow, inadvertently, Yuuji had infiltrated to get at his very core.

Yuuji swallowed some, glancing to the side, “I don’t know what you can do,” he admitted at last, “It won’t take back Shibuya. It won’t undo everything,”

“You say that, but I know ways I can make things right,” Sukuna said softly, “I know how to make you happy. I can give you ever gift, every wonder in this world for your smile, Yuuji,”

“I can’t let you out again,” Yuuji murmured, “I won’t let my body be used again for death,”

Sukuna frowned a touch, eyes narrowed as he continued to stroke Yuuji’s face. There was something new leeching into Sukuna’s expression, a frantic, almost manic sort of look that brought that sense of unease in Yuuji and brought the shadow of Shibuya to loom over them both again. Sukuna’s thumb slide over Yuuji’s cheek as he smiled at him, a strangely gentle gesture that didn’t completely match that look in his eyes as he pulled back a moment.

“I don’t have to use your body tiger cub. I can always take another body. Then I won’t have to be hidden away and I can be there at your side, at all times, making everything how you want it,” Sukuna said softly, “I’ll made the past again in the rubble of this world, if that is what you need. I’ll make all the suffering, all the expectations crushing you down vanish so you can just indulge in what pleases you endlessly,”

Yuuji tensed a touch, “A new host?”

“I was already planning on it, but I can enact those plans sooner than anticipated,” Sukuna said with a smile, as if all he said was so clearly the answer to everything and not absolutely horrifying, “That shadow user, Megumi, he would be a perfect new host. He has no will left to resist anything,”

There was ice climbing up Yuuji’s spine as he regarded Sukuna who just smiled back at him as if what he said was so simple, “What?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t see it, Yuuji. Since the day you met him, he has not wanted to be here. He’s so quick to try and kill himself with his own technique, taking risks that are unnecessary. He’s been dying slowly long before you two met. Long before Shibuya even,” Sukuna said with a twitch of a frown at the corner of his lips, “Why not let his soul be put to rest and his body re-purposed? For us?”

Sukuna leaned in, lips mere inches from Yuuji, practically melting into feeling the other so close again, “For your happiness. I’ll take away everything and give you paradise,”

It was so twisted, and yet Yuuji could hear those echoes from the past to the present, sharpened in isolation to obsession and desperation. How easily Sukuna could talk about destroying someone else’s life to make everything right. It made Yuuji feel sick because he knew if he agreed, Sukuna would make good on his words. He would remake this present into the past Yuuji so desperately wanted and he would make sure he would enjoy everything. The king of curses would make him a paradise where he could escape his every pain for nothing more than his acceptance once more.

The Sukuna of the past would do the same thing, Yuuji knew. If he said one word, everything would be his.

But people would suffer.

Yuuji stood there in silence, taking in short breaths that was shared between him and Sukuna, then his hands curled into fists and his expression darkened.

This wasn’t what he wanted.

He shoved Sukuna away. The curse took a step back and the look of confusion was so honest and raw, because Yuuji knew that he really didn’t understand what he had done to earn Yuuji’s anger. It made Yuuji swallow all the harder, feeling guilt, hurt, anger, and an uneasy queasiness boil in his stomach as he looked at Sukuna.

“How can you say you know me at all if you think I want to help you kill my own friend?” Yuuji choked out, “Just so I maybe will be happy for a few moments?”

“But hasn’t he hurt you too?” Sukuna asked, still looking confused and now a touch more frustrated, “His words towards you-”

“Came from a place of hurt! Everyone says cruel and hurtful things at times when they are hurt!” Yuuji retorted, “I want us to be happy, all of us to be happy! We don’t always have to kill or harm or...or fucking destroy others just to satisfy ourselves! Can you not see that!?”

Sukuna bared his teeth back, hunched like a scorned dog, “You don’t gain pleasure or happiness without sacrifice, brat,”

“And all it gained you in the past and now is being utterly alone, feared, and sitting on useless throne for a thousand years,”

He saw Sukuna flinch, saw that hurt all the more bare. Yuuji could hear the Sukuna of the past say this was all deserved and that whatever punishment given for transgressions would be accepted. Because what could Sukuna do? What could he do to force Yuuji to accept him and give him what he was craving?

It made Yuuji want to laugh.

In that moment, between the two of them, Sukuna felt so much more pathetic and there was pity there. Pity that the curse really didn’t know how to go about getting what he desired so much because it wasn’t so freely given. For the first time, he was confronted with something that no amount of force would give him and he was absolutely baffled as to what to do.

In the past, Sukuna could lap up Yuuji’s attention in exchange for whatever comfort he could give, but here in the present, there was no exchange to be had. Nothing left to do and the way Sukuna looked at Yuuji, hurt, filled with hatred and rage that was melting into such pure desperation.

It made Yuuji’s heart ache knowing somewhere in all of this awful, selfishness, that Sukuna wanted so much to make Yuuji happy and such awful ideas came from such an honest place of affection, it made his feelings all the more conflicted.

Sukuna stood there staring at Yuuji before he looked away, grinding his teeth, “He’s going to die anyways, by a curse, a sorcerer, or his own hands,”

“That doesn’t matter. Everyone is allowed to choose how they want to die. That is part of having a good death. People go out in a way they feel is right,” Yuuji said, hands clenched.

“You would let him die then,” Sukuna sneered, “How does that make you a good friend?”

“And you would use his mental state to satisfy what you see as a way to help me,” Yuuji said, feeling that ache in his chest clench up even more, “I don’t want that. Why would I ever want that?!”

Sukuna closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. The tension began to ease, making the curse sag before he opened his eyes to regard Yuuji with something so tired in his expression, “I thought you would be happy with such a plan because then you would have me,”

“And why would I want you?” Yuuji asked sullenly, “When you want to break me more and claim you’ll fix it later?”

“I don’t want to break you,” Sukuna’s voice was quiet and Yuuji knew he was telling the truth which made everything hurt more, “I want to set things right,”

“But you don’t know how to do it,” Yuuji was surprised at how emotionless his own voice was as those words escaped him. They rang so hollow in his ears.

Sukuna grimaced, a shudder rising through him as if some unknown emotion was trying to rip its way out of his chest, “I won’t do it if it upsets you. I’ll find other ways if that would please you,”

Yuuji closed his eyes, feeling all the more tired. Tired of these feelings. Tired of this time. Even Sukuna’s realm of red and black seemed to become more grey around him as if even here, the scant bit of color was bleeding away.

“I’m tired,” the words slipped out, “I’m tired of all of this,”

“Yuuji-”

“I don’t want to hear anymore about ways you think you can make me happy,”

The blunt statement felt like it was sucking strength out of Yuuji and he found his legs feeling too weak to carry him so he let himself sink down into the bloody water and stare down at his own sullen, vacant expression, “I’m tired of feeling like this,”

His reflection was distorted by ripples as Sukuna approached him, then knelt in front of him. He couldn’t even work up a reaction as the king of curses’ hands came up to cup his face. His eyes flicked up to meet Sukuna’s own and there was unease and panic in that gaze because Yuuji knew he had already realized what was going to happen.

And realizing all the more how powerless he was now to stop Yuuji from slipping away entirely.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I didn’t think you would be distressed. You were so upset with the shadow user, I thought...” Sukuna trailed off and it was clear every word was a struggle, as if such honesty was so terrible a thing to let slip from his lips.

He was trying and some small, distant part of Yuuji wanted to believe in that and encourage it, but that same part was long buried under a pessimism that had built up since the day Sukuna ripped his heart out.

“Yuuji, tiger cub, I preferred you more when you bared your fangs at me,” Sukuna said quietly.

“What fangs?” Yuuji asked, “The ones you pulled out and are trying to push back in?”

It hurt so much for him to use those nicknames, to say his name and not something mocking. Sukuna was trying so hard to fight out the right words but couldn’t grasp them. It wasn’t in his nature to grasp those sentiments easily.

It had never been in his nature to try and lower himself to beg. Even past Sukuna, in all his confidence, thrived with Yuuji’s indulgence. Because Yuuji gave him permission and set the pace of everything, Sukuna could find the steps to their dance.

For the present Sukuna though, Yuuji gave him nothing and all he could do was grasp in the darkness as his vessel drifted further away.

“I’m sorry,” Sukuna repeated, all four eyes meeting Yuuji’s own, “I won’t say anything more on the matter. I won’t try anything. If you want to save everyone-”

“I can’t even save myself,” Yuuji interrupted, closing his eyes, “How can I help them?”

Everything was silent then save the drip of of water upon the surface. Yuuji wasn’t sure what was even causing the ripples around them as he stared down into the water. Ever ripple distorted his own reflection which made it all the more harder to even recognize if he was even himself anymore or if something else had finally overwhelmed him and robbed him of the last bit of who he had been at last.

He tensed as he felt arms wrap around him, Sukuna’s face pressed to his shoulder. It was a strange embrace that made Yuuji idly remember all those sappy dramas he used to enjoy watching with his grandpa, where the two characters embraced in a dramatic farewell. Sometimes it rained in those scenes. Sometimes the sun began to set. Each time Yuuji remembered getting choked up and his grandfather sighing and grumbling about how Yuuji was too much of a bleeding heart if these scenes made him cry.

Yet here he was in such a scene and he couldn’t find any tears to give.

“How can I help them?” Yuuji repeated the question, his voice all the more dull.

“I don’t know,”

Those three words were so soft, muffled against Yuuji’s shoulder and feeling so utterly broken. It had Yuuji turning his head some to regard the king of curses, even if he couldn’t see his face. Slowly he raised one hand, hesitating before putting it on Sukuna’s back.

He wanted to fix things and yet he couldn’t find the energy to do so. He wanted to trust in Sukuna and how broken he had made the curse, but suspicion gnawed relentlessly at him. He wanted to be in the present and ground himself here somehow, and another part of him wanted to fade into the past.

Everything was complicated and Yuuji was just too tired to sort it out when such a tempting, easy solution hung over him.

“I’m going now,” Yuuji said quietly, “I don’t think I’m coming back,”

Sukuna tensed, shuddering and those hands clutched tighter about Yuuji, digging nails cruely into his clothes and pricking against skin, “Why? Why do you want to die like this? Why now?”

“I don’t know. I just feel really tired now,” Yuuji murmured, closing his eyes and letting his body sag forward, “I just want to sleep,”

“Yuuji-”

“I think you’ll even be happier not to see my dumb face anymore, right?” Yuuji said, attempting some morbid humor although he couldn’t even force a smile to his own words, “If you can, tell the others, I’m sorry,”

“I’m not telling them anything,” Sukuna growled, voice tight, “You should tell them yourself,”

“I should, but I don’t think I can,” Yuuji closed his eyes, “I’m too tired now,”

Too tired to listen to the words that would be exchange, too tired for the guilt, and too tired to even hold himself up as he closed his eyes and sagged against Sukuna. His mind began to sink again, quickly escaping out of the grasp of the king of curses and falling once more away and a strange plea chasing his mind into the abyss.

“Don’t go,”

And maybe those two words, whispered and completely broken, were a lifeline, so faint, but still tying him to a present he couldn’t fully let go as his soul sunk once more into the past.

Chapter Text

The key to good calligraphy was a steady hand and poise, or so Yuuji’s grandfather had always said. A master calligrapher had to treat every character with the utmost care and let each stroke flow into the next with the ease of a flowing river. The brush was less a tool at that point and an extension of the soul, giving an elegant life to the words that were created with each character. That was the essence of of a master’s poise, so Yuuji had been told by his grandfather.

Growing up, Yuuji could remember sitting at his grandfather’s side as the old man lectured him on the precise nature of poise. Wasuke Itatdori never skimped on such details while he worked, his hands moving with purpose to write out beautiful characters that were then framed and sold for some extra yen. The old man had always taken such pride in his handwriting, even if he often scoffed at the overly cheesy phrases people had him write out. It was good money and it was clear how much his grandfather had enjoyed it.

At least until he began to lose that poise.

As the years went on, his grandfather’s hand began to shake more and more until he could no longer write the characters as smoothly as before. Overtime, less works were produced that even came close to the art once produced and the frustration had only grown in his grandfather as his calligraphy, once a point of pride drifted further away. Then he had stopped all together and stubbornly would only say he had grown bored with the whole thing. Yuuji though had seen the grief in his grandfather’s eyes as he packed up the old calligraphy set and put it away for good. His grandfather hadn’t had the heart to just throw it out. The old man never spoke of it again, but sometimes Yuuji would pull it out and try his hand at it, especially when his grandfather was in the hospital. Working with the brushes, even if he couldn’t seem to grasp calligraphy at all, had made it feel like his grandfather was still there.

Yuuji knew he lacked the poise the old man had always deemed necessary for good callligrpahy. Every time Yuuji had tried, he had never been able to get it to look as elegant as his grandfather. His strokes were more thick and the edges frayed from not using enough ink or blotchy from using too much ink.

He had never had that poise, although he tried again and again to try and find it.

Now, sitting in the gardens of Sukuna’s home with his brush poised over paper, Yuuji tried in vain to practice, although now it wasn’t his grandfather’s hands that shoke so terribly, but his own. His hands shook as if to warn of something wrong as he tried to ignore them and force his hand to be steady as he moved the brush over the paper.

Yuuji frowned, eyes narrowed in concentration as he tried to force his hand to stop its trembling as he lowered the brush and let the tip lightly press to the paper before he slowly moved it forward. The tremors had started to grow worse rather than get better over the last few days and even when he grasped onto his wrist with his other hand, Yuuji couldn’t seem to keep his damn hand steady enough. It made all the characters of the stupid poetry he was trying to write look like they were sea sick, all jittery and stilted in odd ways. It had a frustrated sigh falling from Yuuji’s lip as he set the brush aside, looking at the new vertical row of wobbly characters he had produced, feeling that frustration start to well up again.

“As the sunshine blooms, so to does my world gain color in your smile, Such sweetness like a watermelon does it taste,”

Yuuji nearly jumped out of his skin at the voice only a few inches from his ear reading out the characters. His reaction though only had the speaker laughing in that deep, rich, carefree way that did not fail to bring a warmth to Yuuji’s chest, even as he cast a glare over his shoulder.

“Kind of rude to sneak up on an artist in the middle of their work and expose it like that!” Yuuji growled.

Sukuna just grinned lazily back, two eyes meeting Yuuji’s own as the other two slid down to the paper, “Well, you’ve been at it all morning. I was curious to see what brilliance you were attempting to put down, and well brat, I can at least say you made an effort,”

Yuuji felt his cheeks heat up more as he growled, hastily pushing off the poetry and pulling out another sheet, “That one was just a draft! A warm up! I’m just getting into the zone of my creative zen to create a poem that will bring you to tears,”

“It certainly will bring me to tears,” Sukuna commented as he settled back with a lazy grin, “But maybe not the tears of being moved that you are desiring,”

Yuuji gave a roll of his eyes as he picked up the brush, flicking outwards in a dramatic fashion like he had seen his grandfather do a dozen time. The old man had only ever done it to get a laugh out of Yuuji, always acting so serious while fighting a smile on his lips. Yuuji too was trying not to smile as he so carefully dip the tip of the brush into the ink, casting a haughty look towards Sukuna, like an artist to an art student that was anticipating their every move.

“Oh, just you wait! The depth of my emotions in my next piece will tremble the chambers of your heart with grief and sorrow unimaginable and have you ugly crying,” Yuuji declared.

He looked to the paper, eyes narrowing as he frowned and slowly brought the brush forward, trying to capture the same poise his grandfather always had.

As before though, his hand trembled like a tree branch in a stiff wind. Yuuji tried in vain, glared at his hand as if he could enforce his will upon the troublesome limb, but regardless of all his attempts, his hand still shook like his grandfather’s had, unable to keep the lines steady as he tried to scratch out some attempt at introspective poetry. Yuuji let out a growl as the frustrated crept into an angry flush in his cheeks as he went to dab more ink onto the brush tip as if that would solve the issue.

Just as he moved it back to the paper, he jumped again as he felt Sukuna’s weight against his back as one the curse’s four hands came up to wrap over his wrist to help steady it, “You are shaking like you are nervous for anyone to see you work,”

“Its been a bit shaky for a while now,” Yuuji admitted, blushing, but unable to help a small smile at how Sukuna’s hand fitted over his own, “but maybe it is nerves,”

“You have been here for a while,” Sukuna let his thumb rub slowly over the top of Yuuji’s hand as he began to write slowly on the paper, the letters finally looking more steady, “Usually within a day or two you are gone back to your proper time,”

Yuuji pursed his lips slightly, “Proper time,” he murmured flatly, “I think I was born a thousand years too late. I fit in much better here than in the future,”

He kept his gaze fixed on the words he was writing, trying his best to keep poise even as he felt a hard, sullen emotion settle in his chest as he shook his head, “I’m not needed in the present really. Everyone is fine with me being elsewhere right now. They are all dealing with their own stuff,”

Sukuna gave a soft hum in response as he watched Yuuji brush a few more words of his delicate poetry onto the paper. His hand shifted then and Yuuji had to pause as the large hand wrapped more firmly about his wrist, “I don’t recall your wrists being so thin. Feels like anyone could snap them with a gentle press,”

“I’ve always had narrow wrists,” Yuuji huffed as he leaned back to look up at the king of curses, “Everyone in my family has had narrow wrists, long fingers, and bony knuckles. Grandfather said they are the hands of artists,”

A small laugh escaped Yuuji as he looked down at his hands, “Probably why he got mad at me for getting into fights when I was little. Said I was going to ruin my hands trying to break them into other people’s face. He had this weird hope for me to be an artist of some sort, I think, despite you know, not having actual talent for it,”

Sukuna gave a nod and a soft noise that showed he was listening, although he didn’t respond right away. Yuuji had picked up that the curse often would be silent for a while, not as a sign of disrespect or being dismissive, but more that it seemed Sukuna was a contemplative mind. He always seemed to turn over everything that was said to him if it was worth it. A quick response from Sukuna was as obviousa sign of disrespect as a cold shoulder.

Yuuji had to puase though in his work as his gaze dropped down to the hands now moving over bot hhis wrists. Two of Sukuna’s hands idly traced over the skin at the back of his hand and the thumb of both hands brushed lightly over the pulse point with gentle, contemplative presses. Yuuji could almost feel the frown that was set upon Sukuna’s lips as he once more wrapped hands about his wrists.

“They look too thin,” Sukuna murmured, “Like someone who’s body is starving,”

“With how much you feed me, how could I ever starve?” Yuuji said with a small smile as he pulled the hand holding the brush free in order to set it aside, “You know I’m well fed,”

“You are well fed here, but I cannot account for all places you are,” Sukuna’s voice trailed off before he let out a sigh, “They do feed you in the present, yes?”

That caused Yuuji to pause. In the present, his body was probably in a coma and the only thing keeping him alive was what they were injecting into him through IVs. His physical body was probably losing weight. He had been losing weight since Shibuya at an alarming rate. He had been dangerously thin the last time he had woken up and Shoko had all but told him he had to start eating his literal weight in food before his body started to cannibalize the rest of him.

He didn’t say that out loud. Yuuji knew that Sukuna would not handle such news well. He worried his lip a moment before he gave a shake of his head and turned around to regard Sukuna, flashing him one of his trademark grins, “We should go for a walk in the fields. The weather is nice today and I would like to see it without walking right into a river like the first time we met,”

Sukuna frowned, all four eyes narrowed in a pensive expression that sent a slight unease down Yuuji’s spine for how much it made him look like his future incarnation. That same skeptical look that made Yuuji want to reach up and cover his face just to make it go away. It was if Sukuna could tell he was trying to change the subject. Yuuji just fixed his smile in place as he rose to his feet and held out both his hands to Sukuna.

“It will be nice! We haven’t been at the meadows since the day we met in this time,” Yuuji urged, “And I think I need to stretch my legs. Sitting here all morning has given me such a leg cramp,”

“I suppose we could go if you have the energy for it,” Sukuna finally said with a sigh, allowing Yuuji to pull him to his feet. That frown never seemed to leave his face and grow a tad more sullen at the corners as Yuuji struggled a bit to pull him up. Another thing that had been harder for Yuuji. His whole body trembled with exertion that it never had before. It was like slowly, his strength was starting to give out. His whole body trembled as he finally pulled Sukuna to his feet.

The whole time the king of curses stared at him with a look that belonged in the present. A long stare that was trying to rip through Yuuji and pull out the truth so that something could be done about it. Yuuji though just smiled and held his tongue, swallowed his nerves and reached up to pat at Sukuna’s face.

“Lost in thought is not a good look on you Sukuna. Makes you look like you aged a thousand years,” Yuuji teased softly.

The four eyes flicked towards Yuuji before his expression softened a tad and that faint smile touched his lips, “A thousand years eh?”

“Absolutely ancient,” Yuuji said with a firm nod as he reached up to pat his cheek, “That teasing smirk you wore this morning when you rolled me up in a blanket to smother me in a hug was much more fitting,”

“Oh, that’s what you prefer?” Sukuna teased, “You only like a few of my expressions, not all of them?”

Yuuji gave a small huff, “I love them all, just this one,” he raised both hands then, pressing fingers into Sukuna’s cheeks to force a smile, “That expression makes me worried about what is going on in your head sometimes,”

Sukuna just gave him a look before sticking out his tongue at Yuuji through the smile, eyes narrowed in mirth before he gave a shake of his head to pull away, “Only the most innocent of thoughts I assure you,”

“Now I know you are telling a lie,” Yuuji let out a laugh though and he felt the tension ease out of him as he moved to grasp onto one of Sukuna’s hand and start tugging him along, “Let’s get going on that walk before we talk the afternoon away, yeah?”

Sukuna sighed, although he couldn’t seem to work up a glare or even a look of protest as he let Yuuji pull him along, “Whatever you say, tiger cub,”

The walk up to the meadows was not an easy hike. Yuuji felt his calves burning as he ascended like a mountain goat up the narrow paths into the mountains, having to pause more often than usual to catch his breath. Still he was eager to keep going, glancing back with a grin to Sukuna. When he did, the manor and village only grew smaller and smaller until they were out of sight behind cliffs, boulders, and tree. Then there was nothing left by the meadows that clung to the high outcroppings, left undisturbed and wild in the world. Just as they had been on his first arrival to the past, the meadows felt more like a painting than a real, breathing place. The sun was high in a deep blue sky, untroubled by little save the playful wisps of clouds that darted by. The wind brought a tickling breeze over the long grasses and flowers and Yuuji was all to happy to walk through, hands spread out to let his finger tips touch over every blossom he could. The scent of it was invigorating, if ticking his nose to the point he couldn’t help a sneeze here and there.

Yuuji turned his head to look back at Sukuna, fixing him with a wide grin, “Told you it would be nice,”

“And as ever, you are completely infallible and never wrong, tiger cub,” Sukuna returned with a smirk as he crossed both pairs of arms over his chest with a cock of his head.

“You should never doubt me,” Yuuji said with a mischievous grin, “Like how you are so handsome and bold, standing here among flowers. Like a samurai of times to come,”

Sukuna just cocked an eyebrow at that, although a faint smile was present on his lips then, “And you look like a prancing god without a care to be had,”

“I wish that was the case!”

Yuuji said those words with a laugh just to hide how those words stung deep inside of him. They felt like a reminder of how every time he had dared to care about something in the present, everything had gone terribly wrong. He had cared about his friends and now they were gone or merely specters who pushed him away whenever he tried ot help. He cared a lot about being a good sorcerer and being able to help others only for Shibuya to crush everything into dust and show him how no matter how much he tried, he wouldn’t be enough. It felt painful to care and he wished sometimes he could be like Sukuna and not care about any of the loss that was now constant in his life. Yuuji felt too tired to care about what would happen next, or maybe too afraid to face just more loss and watching everyone around him become shells to fill with anger and hurt.

That was the present though, he kept telling himself, and in the past, he was allowed not to care.

In that field of flowers, he could smile back at Sukuna who returned the gesture with a lop-sided smirk of amusement. Neither of them had to care about a thing here. The king of curses could stand like a rock and blot out the turbulance in Yuuji’s mind. He was a source of power that never carried regrets and in doing so, helped Yuuji to bury his deeper in his soul.

He could try so very hard to ignore all the miscolored wrongs that were trying to cloud the past.

Yuuji did his best to ignore how his stomach gnawed at him a little bit more with a hunger that couldn’t be appeased and how his body grew weaker with a fatigue he couldn’t sleep off. He could pretend that Sukuna sometimes looked at him with a deep seated frown and a gaze that swam with some unmentioned discomfort as if something old and painful had returned.

If he tried hard enough, Yuuji could pretend everything was as picture perfect as the meadow he stood in and content himself with a quiet end.

A harsh burst of wind came upon the meadow suddenly and Yuuji let out a gasp as the meadow was tossed around, sending hundreds of flower petals off and into the air. He blinked, almost pouting as he brushed some off him, “Ugh, nature is trying to give me allergies I see,”

“Allergies?”

“The tickle in your nose that comes with having too much pollen blasted in your face?”

Sukuna just gave a shrug and Yuuji just smiled, taking up one of Sukuna’s hands to nuzzle into it, “Don’t worry about it. I doubt you have any allergies given you would probably destroy them for trying to stop you,”

“If you say so cub, but I’m finding it hard to follow your mind and your mood today,” Sukuna admitted as he looked down at Yuuji, “It feels like something strange had gotten into your soul,”

“Maybe the weather has put me in a weird mood,” Yuuji said with a laugh, “You know they say people get happier with sun and it has been a lot of sun the past few days for me to soak in,”

“Ah, so the sun makes you so strange,” Sukuna said with a chuckle, “Then perhaps I should put you in the shade for good measure,”

Without warning the curse swept him up making Yuuji laugh and squirm. He all but started to holler when Sukuna pressed a sloppy kiss to the back of his neck and then to his stomach. Yuuji struggled to get away while at the same time not wanting to be set down just yet as Sukuna carried them over to the solitary twisted tree that sat in the meadow. The king of curses collapsed back against the trunk, letting Yuuji settle into his lap with a smirk on his face.

“Now isn’t this familiar?”

Yuuji laughed quietly as he leaned back against him, “Ah. The day we met where I told you that you were a dream and I just sat in your lap and told you to be nice to me?” Yuuji said with an embarrassed laugh, “How could I forget? I think I’m still embarrassed about it!”

Sukuna gave a hum, “It caught me off guard. No one usually approaches me so casually like that, but given you know of me, I suppose that made sense in hindsight,”

“If it makes you feel better, my first interaction with you in the present was to ask you why you were taking my body. First time I saw you, we got into a fight and after that, you had a real love of cutting me to pieces,” Yuuji gave a small shrug as he looked out over the meadow, “I never was scared of you or really thought of you as some weird curse I guess. The biggest asshole I ever knew, but not inhuman,”

Sukuna closed his eyes, a soft smile on his lips, “I find it refreshing. Around you, I suppose I don’t mind acting like a fool at times,”

Yuuji couldn’t help a smile, although he felt a sadness tug at his chest as he moved to take two of Sukuna’s hands and pull them into his lap, “I’m happy when you can act foolish like me. Makes me feel like someone at least still likes me when I’m acting dumb,”

“What do you mean acting dumb? I believe that is your default state of being,” Sukuna teased with a slight ruffling of Yuuji’s hair.

A snort escaped Yuuji as he leaned back into the touch, eyes closed, “Now that’s the asshole I know, being all mean to me!”

Still he couldn’t help the ease in his soul at such talk as none of it held an underlying gloom or threat of some secret. It was pointless chatter, worthless in the long run, but there were a lot of things in this world that Yuuji clung to that others might see as worthless. He was just glad for the chance to think about nothing and indulge in something that set him at ease.

Yuuji let his eyes open, looking over the fields with a small sigh, “The colors seem a bit muddled today though with all the flowers blown away,”

“Landscapes change, tiger cub. Things that are incapable of changing are rather dull, don’t you think?”

That caused Yuuji to pause, lips pursed in thought before he gave a small nod, “I guess so,” he admitted, “Even small things can make a place look different,”

Something in his mind wanted to argue that Shibuya would never look different to him. It would always be that ruin, that disaster that took away so much of his soul. That Sukuna’s domain would always be the same miserable place of a soul that had lost what made him truly a person worthy of respect.

But were such places unchanging, or was it Yuuji who didn’t want to acknowledge they did?

That thought circled in his head before he let out a sigh, turning to rest against Sukuna’s chest, eyes closed and listening to the steady beat of his heart. He could feel one of Sukuna’s hands slide gently through his hair, nails lightly scraping against his scalp.

“You are in a strange mood today, aren’t you?”

Yuuji gave a shrug, “I’m in a strange place in my life, right?”

“Perhaps,” Sukuna paused a bit before bringing up a second hand to slide soothingly down Yuuji’s back, “Would going to see fireworks in the capitol city tomorrow do anything to break your odd mood?”

Yuuji opened his eyes to glance up then, cocking an eyebrow, “Fireworks?”

“The emperor always sets them off to celebrate his birthday,” Sukuna commented with a shrug, “Always eager to show off whatever new thing he gets from engaging with the courts across the sea. Be it fashion or exploding fire in the city, he makes a show of it,”

The king of curses let out a snort and gave a roll of his eyes, “Probably to try and convince the rest of the nation he is not merely a puppet sitting around looking good as the clans run the government,”

“Getting political, aren’t we Sukuna,” Yuuji teased with a cheeky grin.

Sukuna just cast a look down at Yuuji before shaking his head and bundling the sorcerer up in his arms, “That isn’t political brat, that’s just how things are and I really could care less. I’m fine in my role of being the country’s local calamity when they get too comfortable,”

Yuuji gave a small hum in response, although he could feel the slight edge of unease at how casually Sukuna brought up the fact that out of sight, he still was a rather destructive soul. It had Yuuji’s hand idly tracing over Sukuna’s own before letting out a soft sigh, glancing up.

“If I was here forever, would you still do all that? The calamity thing I mean,” Yuuji asked softly.

Two of Sukuna’s eyes flicked down to Yuuji, tracing over his face as the other two stared off, his expression pensive, “Probably,” he finally said, “Maybe not as intentionally as before, but I don’t hold back when some fool is going to challenge me,”

Yuuji closed his eyes, tensing just a bit. He could feel Shibuya start to creep back into his thoughts and linger just behind his eyes with the expanse of destruction, the loss of life, that had come with it. That scene of an aftermath of a horrific calamity laughed in Sukuna’s voice and had Yuuji swallowing hard.

“I see,” Yuuji said softly.

“Your mind is on that incident again, isn’t it?”

Yuuji gave a faint smile, eyes still closed, “Am I that easy to read?”

“At times but most of the time I’m always waiting for you to tell me what is on your mind,” Sukuna admitted with a sigh, looking out over the meadow as he rested his chin in one hand, “I haven’t understood you a moment from the start, and sometimes...”

Yuuji opened his eyes as Sukuna trailed off. The king of curses let his eyes close and a frown crossed his features. It reminded Yuuji painfully of the Sukuna he knew so well as the curse wore a far more agitated expression. The only difference was it was not aimed at Yuuji, not really, even if his words would make it seem so.

Sukuna was agitated by something the king of curses was trying so hard to understand, but every time it was slipping through his fingers when he went to grab for it.

Yuuji sat up then, reaching to cup his face with a shake of his head, “You don’t have to understand me at all. Just know you are making me happy,”

Sukuna’s frown didn’t leave his lips, although it lessened. His expression seemed a touch tired as if he wanted to say something but refrained from doing so, settling for a sigh as he rose to his feet, gently pulling Yuuji along with him, “I see, then would it please you to take dinner with me as usual?”

“Always, especially with Uraume’s cooking,” Yuuji said with a smile.

Relief flooded Yuuji as the strange moment passed. The meadow settled back into is vibrant colors and the scene reset itself and away from the specter of someone Yuuji didn’t want to acknowledge that appeared in that moment. That flicker of pain, as if something was eating away at the king of curses from the inside out like a rot.

The same look Yuuji had seen on a face so similar in the present, the last face he saw, before he fell away from the past. It had him swallowing down a strange kernel of guilt and working hard to bury it along with everything else deep in his soul.

The way back home was not as smooth as the ascent. It should have been easier given they were going downhill, but halfway down, Yuuji found whatever energy he had quickly fading and forced to sit against sun-baked rocks to catch his breath again and again. Each time he could feel Sukuna’s eyes on him, that worried expression crossing his features even if he did try to hide it under teasing comments.

Yuuji could feel more the questions that were trying to come to the surface as Sukuna regarded and studied him more closely. The king of curses was studying him and no doubt trying to find the ways to express his concerns. A strange hesitancy that Yuuji was not use to and found himself feeling a slow burning tension in the air.

Dinner was a quiet affair and Yuuji ate his fill, although it did nothing to ease the constant slow gnawing hunger that was rooted in his stomach. He could eat until there was the pain of being too full and yet never could be sated. His soul wanted to be one way, but his body was elsewhere, screaming for something real.

It only made Yuuji feel more exhausted and he took to bed early, collapsing against soft pillows and blankets, barely aware of Sukuna’s weight beside him or the hand that gently slid up his back and the fingers that gently pressed where bones were starting to make themselves more known. The touch was soothing though and lulled him the rest of the way into a restless sleep.

Yuuji wasn’t sure how long he slept. He knew when he did fall asleep he had no dreams or sense of a passage of time. His rest was deep, but never did anything against the fatigue that had started to overcome him. He awoke alone in bed though with the familiar outline of Sukuna’s room bathed in cold, silver moonlight. Everything was set in shades of black and white that made Yuuji wary as he sat up, feeling a bit of a chill up his spine.

When one of the shadows on the floor moved, Yuuji’s attention was drawn to the open door that led out to the balcony attached to Sukuna’s room. The king of curses himself sat there, kimono draped carelessly over massive shoulders and lay open in the front. His back was to the wall and a small bowl of sake was held in one hand. The expression he wore was a pensive one, lost in troubled thought and staring off into the blanket of stars above. In the cold moonlight, it looked like he lacked all color, all of it turned to white and grey. Those blue eyes, usually so arresting, now blended into landscape as he idly sipped at his cup.

Yuuji quietly sat up and gathered his robe over his shoulder against the chill of the night, “Sukuna?”

All four eyes slid towards Yuuji for a moment before sliding away, “Yuuji,”

The answer was short and quiet and the use of his name felt like a quiet alarm as it was rare for the king of curses to address him so and not by a nickname. It brought a shiver to his spine as if he could taste something off in the air, “What’s wrong?”

Sukuna gave a shrug taking another light sip before speaking, “A few things, although I’m loathed to speak of them,”

“Not like you to not speak your mind,” Yuuji said softly, offering a small smile.

“I suppose,” Sukuna’s gaze flicked to Yuuji, staring at him a bit before sitting up, “Tell me, do you hate it when someone tells you the end of a story, Yuuji?”

“What?”

The king of curses turned his attention back to the night sky and the burning fire of the moon, “Do you hate it when you read a story and someone tells you how it ends?” he asked quietly, “Would you want to keep reading a story if you knew it was not going to end well?”

Yuuji looked down at his hands, “I guess. I have had people spoil the endings of movies for me, but I still could enjoy everything,”

“Even if you know the ending is a tragedy?” Sukuna looked over at him, something pained in his expression, “That everything is going to end up worthless and lost by the conclusion?”

There was something desperate in that question, a subtle sort of pain that was laced into each syllable that made Yuuji’s heart ache. He swallowed hard, glancing up, “I don’t think I’m the person to ask if I would stay for a tragedy,” He admitted softly, “I don’t think I’m much a fan of unhappy endings. I guess in the end, I just wished everything could work out and the characters can be happy,”

Yuuji paused before looking over at the king of curses, “What about you?”

Sukuna sighed, closing his eyes, “I used to not even care if a story was ruined and I knew how it was going to end. I never use to care about the outcome or who was involved. Such silly stories were just to observe to pass the time,”

Those blue orbs opened to look over at Yuuji as he set his sake down, “It has made me consider how our lives are playing out now. Every time I see your mind drift away, every time you get tired and start to slow down, every time I notice your kimono hangs looser on your frame, I can’t help but feel like whatever narrative our lives are telling, it is going to end all wrong,”

Yuuji was silent for a bit as he met Sukuna’s eyes and he felt his heart ache so much more. It beat hard against his rib cage and it was hard to find the words to say in that moment. It very well could be the end of their story, or in the present, the end of Sukuna’s story. From start to finish, it was a tragedy written in slow motion between what the world could be and what the world was.

All the tragedy that had drained the color out of his life like a carcass in a slaughterhouse had left nothing to look forward. Shibuya was the end and everything after it was a painful epilogue. Maybe it it was why he ran to the past, so at least he could write a message of happiness on his grave in a time where he could be at peace. Even if it meant his death was a slow, gradual thing lost in a dream of his soul’s desperate making.

“I don’t think it will end all wrong,” Yuuji finally said as he gripped the sheets tighter, “We can chose how we want things to end right? Isn’t that how we change the ending?”

Sukuna regarded Yuuji quietly, “And how do you want it to end?”

“I want it to end where I can be happy, up until the last moment,” Yuuji said, glancing up, “And not just be alone, surrounded by my regrets, and the shells of people. I want to feel like I decided how I went, not the world, not just more death and tragedy. That I can be selfish. That I can seek my own pleasure. That I’ll die being a someone, not just a something,”

He closed his eyes as he curled back in the bed, “I don’t want to have to be strong just so I can lose everything. I want to be strong so there is something left to fight for,”

He could feel Sukuna’s gaze on him and heard the sigh from the king of curses as he roused himself, “I don’t get you at all,” he murmured, moving to gather Yuuji into his arms as he slid into the bed, “No matter how many times I try to,”

“And why do you want to get me?”

Sukuna leaned in, resting his forehead against the back of Yuuji’s head. He was silent as his arms snaked about Yuuji, holding him close, “So I can remember what to do right in another time,”

Yuuji swallowed hard again and turned his head to press his face against one powerful arm with a heaving sigh as he fought down the tight knot of emotion in his chest, “Idiot,”

“You’ve made me one for sure,” Sukuna said with a soft chuckle, “But get some rest. It is a long day tomorrow and any energy you can find, you will need,”

The young sorcerer gave a mute nod, just clutching onto Sukuna, safe within his arms when he knew he shouldn’t. How Sukuna could be the cause of all his pain and the salve for it as well was such a terrible and ironic contradiction of the world that nearly made him want to laugh. His emotions and thoughts remained a confusing jumble in his head, and yet, by a miracle maybe, Yuuji found himself falling once again into sleep.

He didn’t want to think about how Sukuna sound almost as broken as the Sukuna he had left behind. It made the guilt gnaw at him as he wondered if he was causing Sukuna just as much pain as he had caused him.

That the Sukuna now was destined to be the Sukuna in the present, and he was a catalyst to bring out the worse in him.

The next morning found Yuuji unwilling to get out of bed, groggy, sore, and at the mercy of Sukuna’s teasing as the four armed curse unceremoniously yanked all his blankets away with a grin.

“Time to rise tiger cub. We have a long day ahead of us,”

“Ngh, five, no, ten more minutes,” Yuuji groaned as he patted about to try and find the stolen blankets.

Those soft silken blankets though were far out of reach of his grasping hands and he found only one of Sukuna’s hands clasping over his own as he was hauled out of bed, “Come now. Usually you are the one trying to roll me out of bed to take part in your shenanigans, it is only fair now I get my turn,”

Yuuji gave a groan, hanging limp in the grasp, practically dangling as he squinted at Sukuna like a cat awoken from a nap, “What shenanigans? You aren’t taking me out to go murder people are you?”

Sukuna gave a roll of his eyes as he bodily tossed Yuuji over one shoulder, “Yesterday you said you wanted to go see the fireworks,”

“Fireworks happen at night,” Yuuji grumbled, hanging over Sukuna’s shoulder, “It is morning!”

“Yes, but it s going to take us half a day to get to the capitol city to see the fireworks, tiger cub, or do you think that as the king of curses I can fold the landscape in half to make the city closer to here?” Sukuna drawled.

Yuuji let out a loud yawn as he lifted himself up some, “I didn’t think you lived that close to the emperor’s city,”

“I like to be close enough that when I am displeased I can stand within spitting distance of the emperor until he gives me everything and the clothes off his back to make me go away,” Sukuna chuckled with a wide grin, “It is fun to watch the man grovel. For an emperor, he really has it down to an art!”

A laugh came out of Sukuna as he clasped too hands together, “Oh please Ryoumen! Don’t walk in my dainty garden and crush my expensive flowers! Please take these treasures and rare spices! Have some more fancy kimonos? Do you want my daughter’s hand in marriage? Want a concubine?”

The king of curses shook his head, glancing to Yuuji with a smirk, “I actually took his daughter’s hand, you know,”

A look of horror touched Yuuji’s expression making Sukuna sigh and wave a hand, “Not literally, you idiot,”

“Look, it is you. I can’t be too certain you just took the hand,” Yuuji retorted, “But you...got married?”

“No, I took her, let her run off with her handmaiden to become sorcerers in their own right,” he said wit ha roll of his eyes, “Heard they are happily in love crushing fools in the south or something,”

“You...just let her go?”

“Brat, I like disorder and chaos. Not all of it is destroying things and murdering people. Sometimes it is watching the emperor’s only daughter run off to become a lesbian sorcerer who has no love of authority,” He said with a chuckle, “What is one more destructive sorcerer in this day and age?”

Yuuji frowned a touch as he felt the creep of unease as he was reminded again that there was a reason Sukuna was called a calamity. It was always a strange, jarring feeling when Sukuna spoke so openly about the ways in which he tormented the countryside, a reminder of his nature beneath an almost lazy disposition when he was around Yuuji.

The young sorcerer fidgeted some before he pushed himself up to look over his shoulder at Sukuna, “Why do you like doing that anyways?”

“Like doing what?”

“The destruction, tormenting, all that,” Yuuji looked away with a pensive expression, feeling regret for his question, “Why do you like doing it?”

It was a question that had burned in Yuuji for a long. Since the moment he met Sukuna he had wondered about it, but it was so easy to write it of as merely in Sukuna’s nature. He was a curse, a monster, the demon of the Heian period that crippled the nobility so terribly that it would cause a new era to begin in the wake of his passing.

But all those answers came from other people, not from Sukuna himself.

The king of curses paused, head tilted to the side and the bottom set of eyes looked one way as the top pair looked upwards in thought. He frowned a touch before he gave a small shrug, “I don’t like how they look at me I suppose,”

“How they look at you?” Yuuji asked incredulously.

Sukuna gave a chuckle, “How they look at me,” he repeated as he moved to set Yuuji down, one hand cupping his face, “I much more prefer how you look at me tiger cub. You, Uraume, even the village of late,”

There was a tug of an almost honest smile on Sukuna’s face then, “It is hard to want to destroy things that let you exist as you please,”

Yuuji blinked at those words as confusion touched at him, “What?”

Sukuna only laughed as he ruffled Yuuji’s hair playfully as he continued by, “Go get dressed and make sure you wear comfortable clothes. It is a long ride,”

“Riding a horse? Because we both know what happened last time I tried!” Yuuji piped up.

That had the king of curses laughing again as he looked over his shoulder, “Oh I know, and trust me, I don’t trust any creature that fragile and that cursed with anxiety to carry me either. No. I have other, more trustworthy means of travel,”

Yuuji just stared at Sukuna as he gave a wink and a grin that had him feeling a tad bit concerned as to what sort of travel the king of curses preferred. A hundred different ideas ran through his head, everything from some bloodthirsty dragon to some cart made out of bones and pulled by skeletal cows.

What he didn’t expect was a snail.

A large cursed looking snail that had six human feet sticking out from its mantle and bulbous eyes out the front that blinked at different times and looked in different directions. The shell of it had been modified at some point, maybe grown in a way that created an area to comfortably sit without being jostled. The whole thing looked terribly comical and just continued to shuffle back and forth as it ran into a solitary barrier in front of it, not having the idea to try and go around what was in front of it.

Uraume was already near the giant curse snail, packing some baskets onto the side of it and making sure they were fastened tight just beside where people could sit upon its back.

Yuuji just stared at it, raising a hand to point at it in slight confusion as he slowly glanced over to Sukuna, “What is that?”

“A curse,” Sukuna said with a shrug as he approached it, giving a mean-spirited prod to one of its eyes, making it let out a pitiful whine, “Curses are more reliable mounts if you know how to contain certain ones. This particular one comes from people who are in a rush and getting mired down by bad weather and roads. An angry desire to get between two points as quickly as possible,”

“and it is a snail,”

“Yes,”

“A snail with human feet,”

“My my tiger cub. You are a very observant one,”

Yuuij shot Sukuna a withering look which was only returned with one of amusement and a raised eyebrow. A sigh escaped the young sorcerer as he shook his head and wandered closer to the snail, “Fine. I guess we can do the whimsical mission to the capitol riding upon a snail, even if that probably doesn’t make as explosive an entrance as I thought it would for you,”

Sukuna just chuckled as he stepped over to pick Yuuji up, all but tossing him up onto the curse before easily climbing up to sit beside him, all four arms crossed, “You would be surprised with this one. It can be quiet explosive as it really is set on going in one direction and one direction only, roads be damned,”

“trains can’t be invented soon enough,” Yuuji grumbled as he squirmed to get comfortable.

The king of curses just cocked an eyebrow at his words before giving a shake of his head and raising two fingers. A single slash had the barrier disintegrating and the curse, without a thought behind its vacant eyes, started to shuffle forward, soon picking up speed and soon putting modern day cars to shame. Yuuji found himself yelping as he clung onto Sukuna who sat at ease upon the curse’s back, eyes wide in surprise.

“Holy fuck!”

“A little faster than you thought, yes?”

Yuuji gripped onto Sukuna harder as the snail curse seemed to pay no mind to the terrain, going over rocks and not pausing to go around trees as much as to plow through them. The thing was as destructive as the king on its back, only more mindless as it moved along. Yuuji jumped as another tree was pushed out of the curse’s way as it descended down and then climbed right up the other bank without slowing down.

“Does it actually feel pain just plowing into things?!”

Sukuna gave a shrug, “No idea. Never cared to ask. It doesn’t really talk much, given I’m sure it hasn’t any actual brains rattling around that slop of a body,”

Yuuji jumped again as it slammed through a field, causing startled farmers to jump out of the way, “It just goes in a straight line?”

“In my defense, I have told them to not build anything between my home and the capitol city as I don’t plan on traveling by longer means,” Sukuna said with a shrug.

Yuuji just shot him a blank look before he yelped, having to cling on tighter as the snail reached the edge of a cliff and instead of stopping, just tipped down to an angle to go straight down, picking up even more speed.

A yell escaped Yuuji and he felt like he was on the most unsafe roller coaster of his life and he was clutching onto Sukuna who seemed rather unbothered by the whole affair, even as the snail jumped out to catch itself more at the bottom and then hurry itself up the other side with single minded pursuit and human feet that seemed to stick to every surface.

Despite it all though, a small laugh escaped Yuuji and he he started to edge from holding onto Sukuna to hold onto the shell more. There was something exhilarating traveling so fast in a straight light without a care to the world. It was like being on speeding car without worry of the police coming after them. Yuuji let out a yell as they went down again, feeling his stomach feel like it was a free fall with an exciting lift as they continued to move forward. Soon the landscape gave way to more signs of life with larger villages and more substantial roads. Farms spread out across the landscape filled with people going about their daily lives as the sun rose higher across the landscape.

Still, even in those areas where there were more people, the world seemed so much more empty than the one Yuuji knew. What were suppose to be grand cities were still drops in the bucket that could have tucked neatly into a corner of even the smaller towns of modern Japan. The houses barely rose above two stories and were clustered together with no real interest in planning out the city beyond what could fit behind walls and military protection. The lonesome feel of it made it more grim how Sukuna’s devastating behaviors could have caused the whole of the country to wobble its way out of the Heian era as even wiping out half of a city would have left the population reeling. It also reminded Yuuji of how much people feared Sukuna and that there were many a tale of sorcerers that would come after him when he was sighted moving along the landscape.

“Will we have people trying to come after you while we are near the capitol?” Yuuji asked warily.

“Always an option,” Sukuna responded with a dismissive shrug, “But usually on such holidays, we leave each other alone,”

There was a pause before he gave a roll of his eyes, “Unless you are the self-righteous Abe clan but I don’t think there are enough of them left for them to try anything. For three straight months, I couldn’t even sneeze without one of them showing up to squawk at me. So irritating,”

Yuuji had to hold back a wince at how casually Sukuna talked about a whole family nearly being wiped out. It was another reminder that the king of curses had always been one with a mind towards removing those that dared to bare teeth at him and with little care to the amount of destruction that came of it. Sukuna did not hold back for anyone’s sake but his own.

“If someone attacked us, what would you do?”

Sukuna glanced Yuuji’s way briefly, “Go about it as I always have. They attacked me, so I won’t hold back. If my death is more important than the lives of their so called people being collateral, then that is on them for their choice,” he said with a shrug, “My hands remain clean in that regard,”

“And what if I got caught up in it?”

He could feel the king of curses regarding him closely, a small frown on his lips, “You are different, cub. I wouldn’t let you be caught up in such a mess in the first place,”

Yuuji gave a shrug, “I probably would get caught up in it,”

A sigh fell from Sukuna’s lips and his frown increased. The look of annoyance felt like it belonged more on the face of the present Sukuna more than the past. A somewhat frustrated scowl as he closed all four eyes and rested his chin in one hand.

“Why would you get caught up in it if you know it is going to cause you pain?”

The king of curses question caused Yuuji to pause and he tensed a bit, worrying his lower lip before he sighed, “I guess I don’t like seeing other people hurt,”

He could feel the fatigue settling over him once more, digging its hands into his flesh and into his bones. He leaned against the side of the curse’s shell, staring out over the landscape as it continued to fly past in a blur of indistinct colors that were starting to melt and bleed together and drip down of the canvas.

It looked strangely stark. It looked like Shibuya. It looked like there was more to the idealistic past than what he desperately wanted to cover up.

Yuuji closed his eyes as if that would be enough to hide everything away.

They arrived at the outskirts of the capitol just past noon and settled on top of a hill that overlooked the city. Sukuna gave a flick of a hand to put up a barrier to keep the snail curse contained again as it shuffled forward and back, unable to comprehend the bare thought of just going around the barrier in its path. Yuuji gave a shake of his head, a faint smile for how comical the sight was as he slowly wobbled his way off its back and back onto solid ground.

He sighed, stretching out some as he looked around the peaceful field they had come to rest in, untouched and covered with long green grass, “You sure no one will bother us here?”

“As I said, most will keep away,” Sukuna said as he took out out large blanket and shook it out before laying it on the ground for them to sit on and have a view of the city, “And this spot is more or less mine, by decree of the emperor. One of those things he gave me to appease me,”

Yuuji blinked, “And everyone else just accepts that? I thought you said he has no power?”

“Just enough power to give a few things away,” Sukuna said with a chuckle as he started to take the packed baskets of food down and set them upon the blanket, “I think he and I have come to an understanding about each other’s situations, even if the Fujiwara Clan hasn’t gotten the message,”

Yuuji watched as Sukuna unpacked the food, giving a shake of his head before moving to take a seat on the blanket, “Uraume really prepared a feast,”

“I think they are getting worried they aren’t feeding you enough,” Sukuna said as he picked up one of the apples to examine it before dropping it into the mouth on his belly, “It is rare for anyone to lose weight on Uraume’s cooking,”

“I just burn a lot of energy is all. Always on the move,”

Sukuna gave him a long stare and for a moment, it looked as if he would speak before shaking his head and flopping down beside Yuuji, “Then you should eat your fill. Afterwards you can head down to the festivities and indulge before the evening falls if you’d like,”

Yuuji blinked, looking over, “Aren’t you going with me?”

“They will tolerate me being close, but to most of the world I’m still a monster Yuuji, even if you make me sometimes feel otherwise,” Sukuna said with a thin smile, “If I entered the festival, there would be a battle and they wouldn’t care if it took out half the city,”

Yuuji felt that shiver of cold at his words and his gaze fell to his lap. For a moment he was silent before he gave a firm shake of his head and looked up at him, “Then I will stay here. It wouldn’t be fun wandering a place alone like that. We can find better things to do out here!”

“Oh? Like what?” Sukuna asked with a lazy grin.

“Like maybe teach me some badass curse techniques?” Yuuji put forward with a hopeful smile, “I was told since you live in me, your techniques might imprint on my soul or something. Teach me how to slice and dice!”

The king of curses looked amused as he regarded Yuuji, reaching out to ruffle his hair in amusement, “Teach you the secrets of my technique? But what if you used them against me in the future brat? That would not be too wise of me,”

“Teach me how to little slice and dice so I can cut vegetables faster?” Yuuji pressed as he leaned a touch, “Or maybe reverse curse technique so I can heal myself when you want to cut my legs off?”

Sukuna gave a hum, cocking his head to the side thoughtfully before he gave a nod, “I can show you reverse technique, but pay attention tiger cub. I’m not a patient teacher and if I grow bored of your lack of progress, I will find my entertainment in in other ways,”

“I’ll catch on quick!” Yuuji said as he squared his shoulders, “I’ve been told I seem to get a handle of things quick when it comes to cursed energy,”

The king of curses gave a hum as he picked up a one of the various dishes that Uraume had prepared, giving a glance to Yuuji, “After we eat I’ll see if you can be taught. If the body doesn’t have the proper nutrition and health, the soul cannot grasp such a difficult technique. The two need to be in sync,”

“Got it! Eat food, power up, reverse technique. Simple!” Yuuji declared as he picked his chopsticks, “I’ll be a master before the fireworks even start!”

“Make sure to eat well,” Sukuna pressed, as if he wanted that idea to be ingrained in Yuuji’s head, “Reverse curse technique relies on not only your soul being able to recall the contours of its form, but on the body to have the necessary stores of energy to provide such quick regrowth,”

“I said I got it!” Yuuji huffed with a flush, “Watch me eat!”

With that, he set a glare at Sukuna, although it had no heat to it, and started to stuff his face with a large portion of food. Sukuna just snorted and gave a small shake of his head as he started to pick at the food as well, “Cheeky brat,”

“A cheeky brat that is going to blow your mind with how fast I pick up reverse technique,” Yuuji retorted around mouthfuls of food, “Just you wait!”

It was a bold claim, Yuuji knew that. Every time someone described learning reverse technique, it came with an explanation of how difficult it was to master and if Sukuna’s comments were anything to go on, Yuuji wasn’t actually skeptical he could make progress.

He knew his real body, the one he had left behind in the present, was suffering. He could only assume that the hunger and fatigue were a result of his body starting to slowly give out. This body in the past was not the one his soul was use to being in. It was different. It was a temporary vessel to hold him.

And it showed so painfully in the whole lesson.

Sukuna was not a terrible teacher which was a surprise, given how unhelpful he was in the present. The way he explained the technique was to the point and simple enough and despite claiming he was not a patient sort, he did nothing to rush Yuuji as he worked to try and grasp the technique.

The king of curses was well versed and had the wisdom that didn’t come out of books. It was clear that with every technique he learned or saw, he had picked it apart, figured out how it worked, and could explain it in simple detail to anyone. Sukuna opened up wounds in himself without a flinch to show Yuuji how to close them, explaining now just how it worked, but how it felt.

How to pull off the technique just clicked so much easier in Yuuji’s head, faster than any lesson he had been given before, and yet, just like how he could never grasp calligraphy, he couldn’t seem to grasp the reverse curse technique. It was like he couldn’t seem to reach the wounds or re-knit flesh as easily as Sukuna could. He barely could get it to scab over and each attempt left him feeling more and more exhausted.

He could feel Sukuna frowning as the time wore on, although he wasn’t upset at Yuuji for not getting it. If anything, he seemed upset by something else. It was a strange expression he wore, like he was being forced to confront something else as he watched Yuuji struggle and tremble. Even as Yuuji laughed and tried to play it off, Sukuna remained oddly silent before abruptly having them stop and nudge Yuuji to eat more food.

By the time the evening fell, Yuuji all but collapsed back onto the blanket, feeling more drained. His stomach rumbled with more want of food despite nothing sating it. His body ached and felt even more set apart from his soul, as if he was trying to focus through mud. The cool of the night air felt good though against his heated skin as he sat there, his kimono bundled about his waist to allow himself to cool off. Sukuna sat next to him, chin in hand and all four eyes on the dark expanse of clear night sky and the expanse of stars that stretched out before them.

“Even without the fireworks it is a beautiful night,” Yuuji said with a tired smile, “You don’t get to see the stars like this anymore,”

Sukuna leaned back some, two eyes up at the sky, and the other two glancing to Yuuji, “Did they find some cursed technique to steal the sky?”

“More they invented electricity and the light pollution covers up everything,” Yuuji said, “Everything is lit up from the roads to houses to stores,”

“Sounds wasteful,” Sukuna said with a snort.

Yuuji gave a small shrug, “maybe,” he shifted over to lean against Sukuna, “But at the same time, has made life easier,”

“If life is easier, why would you want to be in the past?”

That had Yuuji tensing some and he fidgeted, “Because some things are easy. Getting food is easy. Everything else...is just too hard to keep going,”

Sukuna stared at him with that strange look, a wince of something before he seemed to pause. His brow knitted together, as if he was having a conflict with himself before something new arrived. There was a gleam, a confidence born of frustration starting to rise up and it seemed he was about to speak when he was interrupted by a shriek rising of an explosion down below. Both of them turned their heads sharply as hundreds of bursts of sparks seemed to go off around and inside the city. None of them launched into the sky like Yuuji expected, although it was a sight to see as if the city itself was growing wild with noises and sparkles. The night was filled with light and fire that was new and familiar all at once. It reminded Yuuji of how stores would light off firecrackers when they opened to ward off evil spirits and bring prosperity to the store although on a larger level. He sat and watched it, eyes wide before as quickly as the whole ruckus began, it began to quiet down, save a few stray sparks out along the streets.

“So noisy really,” Sukuna said with a sigh as the last few sparks fizzled out in soft whines, “I’ve heard in China it gets even louder around the lunar new year though and far more fires happen from stray rockets,”

“If you want to hear noisy, you should see them in modern times,” Yuuji said with a chuckle as he leaned back, “They launch them far into the sky and they exploded in hundreds of colors, like the stars themselves are exploding, all with huge thunderous booms,”

Sukuna looked up at the night sky again, tilting his head to the side, “That would be a sight to see indeed. Perhaps you should show me that in the present yes?”

The mention of the present had Yuuji’s good mood fading. He always wanted to snap that the Sukuna beside him was not the same as the hateful creature he housed in his soul in the present. It made something itch inside Yuuji every time he was forced to confront the fact there were not two Sukunas.

Just one that was in his younger years and another that was thousands of years old of bitter anger.

Despite that though, just thinking about the Sukuna he had lived with more intimately had Yuuji pulling his knees to his chest, looking down at the city below, “The Sukuna I know doesn’t care for such things. The only thing that makes him happy is seeing me in pain and fighting other sorcerers,”

Sukuna was silent as he gave a glance over at Yuuji. There was something in his expression and he raised a hand, hesitating before he lowered it and glanced away. They both sat in the silence of the night, a king and someone quiet the opposite of such a lofty title, alone together with a distance between them that only grew wider as the present grew closer.

“Did something happen? Before the Shibuya incident?” The question came out softly, almost hesitantly from the king of curses as his gaze kept to the city below.

“What do you mean?”

“Did something happen between us that would give reason to why I would not share anything with you?” Sukuna asked quietly.

Yuuji paused, thinking over all his encounters in the present with the king of curses before giving a small shrug, “I don’t know. We never really talked. You always just spoke about how much you were eager to kill and tear everything apart. You…he is so angry and vicious, more curse than anything,”

Sukuna sat there in silence as he closed his eyes, “So he isn’t human to you?”

That had Yuuji pausing. His gut instinct was to say yes. The present Sukuna wasn’t human. He was a monster, unhinged and cruel, with twisted ideas about what he could do to help Yuuji. He used Yuuji to cause misery to others and then would make him behold it all, laughing in his ear. His words were always insults, crass, and meant to try and break Yuuji down. There was never a hint of humanity to be found in how he sunk mindlessly into his indulgent pleasures, no better than the mindless snail set on one path with no thought to go in another direction.

Sukuna was a curse that embodied every horrible thought and sneering voice inside Yuuji’s head, made real, made present, and made to cause the yawning voice ripped open by Shibuya to only grow wide enough to suck him down into the darkness.

Yet Yuuji heard the angry voice in the back of his head that had started to grow louder snap at him that that wasn’t true.

Beyond his own pain, Yuuji knew it wasn’t true because sometimes, there was something else there. Sometimes there was a glimpse of something painfully human and no different than the destructive natures of other sorcerers. Sometimes Sukuna seemed so lost. Sometimes he grew angry when Yuuji wouldn’t respond to him when he was trying something different and trying to reach out. How many times had there been a glimmer of something so painfully human that emerged from the madness?

How many times had Yuuji seen the humanity in Sukuna and become scared that there was something so familiar in the way he spoke, the way he moved, and the way he reacted?

The king of curses was human. Past and present, he was still painfully human.

“I don’t know what to think. The question isn’t even easy to answer,” Yuuji finally said, “I see you as human and at times, I can see him as human. But other times, I just can’t understand why he wants to be so cruel. What pleasure can there be in seeing others suffer? In seeing me suffer?”

A soft breeze ruffled through the grass as the festivities below begin to dim further and further until the world began to fall into a deep darkness that swallowed up all color save the far away pinpricks of starlight. The world was black and formless, breathing with each gasp of gentle wind and they sat trapped in its embrace. Yuuji shivered, feeling lost in that darkness, as if the night itself came to remind him of just how blank this past was that he was hiding himself in.

That if he peered too much into it, it would reveal itself to be a realm of bones, blood, and an expanding domain that reached all the way to the burnt out husk of a once shriving part of Tokyo.

“There is no pleasure in it, only satisfaction,” Sukuna’s voice cut through the darkness, making Yuuji flinch, “When all you understand is cruelty, everything that is not that seems to be an offense. That there are people out there that never had to suffer seems like a contradiction. To make those people suffer gives the satisfaction as they can’t stand on any ground above you,”

The king of curses rose to his feet, his four eyes glancing down to Yuuji as he held out a hand to help him up,“Have you never wanted to hurt someone to justify the pain you feel?”

Yuuji swallowed hard at that, “I’m sure everyone has had that thought before,” he said as he took the offered hand, letting Sukuna pull him to his feet, “I just…I could never act on it. Why can’t I just be happy that someone won’t have to ever go through what I have?”

Sukuna let out a soft chuckle, “And that is probably why you are the strongest sorcerer I’ve met, Yuuji,”

“Me?”

“It is easy to make people suffer to justify the hurt inside. It is more difficult to let go of that feeling and be happy for others for the simple fact they have found happiness,” Sukuna gave a small smile, “Some sorcerers will go their entire lives never seeing anyone else as human,”

Yuuji didn’t let go of Sukuna’s as they stood there in that darkness together. That hand was something solid and for once, Yuuji didn’t feel like he was sinking, or maybe, was realizing he had never been sinking at all, just lost and groping for something.

Or groping for someone just as lost as he was so he wouldn’t feel he was wandering in the dark alone.

“Maybe,” Yuuji said quietly, offering a small smile, “Or maybe at some point we just forgot that there are some things that we all share that aren’t going to change in a thousand, five thousand, or even ten thousand years,”

“I suppose,” Sukuna gave a hum and a gentle tug, “But we should head back before they feel I’m lingering too close and ruining the beauty sleep of the emperor,”

“Would the beauty sleep even help him?” Yuuji asked with a teasing grin.

“Trust me it wouldn’t other than to reduce a wrinkle or grey nose hair or two,” Sukuna said with a wide grin.

Yuuji let Sukuna lead him along. His stomach groaned and his body felt more sore and tired. By the time they made the short trip to where the shuffling snail curse stood, he barely could find the strength to climb up. Sukuna picked him up instead, cradling him close in his arms as he took his seat, that frown back on his face.

“You are very light,”

“You are very strong is all,” Yuuji said with a tired smile.

“You weren’t this light before. You weren’t even this thin before,”

Yuuji just gave a small shrug in response as he gave a glance away. He knew well enough if he said nothing, the king of curses wouldn’t push the issue. He could feel Sukuna’s gaze on him, wanting a response, expecting it, only for him to scowl when he received nothing and a soft, frustrated sigh escaped from his lips.

He settled Yuuji into his lap, eyes ahead as he gave a flick of fingers to remove the barrier and send the dull-witted curse on its way back towards the manor.

The rumble of the curse’s feet was the only sound in the formless land that came in the dark. There were no lights, no flickers of anything save the stars above and the moon. The moonlight only traced the outlines of things in blurry silver lines that were gone as soon as Yuuji blinked. He could feel his eyes growing heavy until he was jostled, just slightly by Sukuna moving to prop him up against his chest in a sitting position.

“You are too light Yuuji,”

“Sukuna-“

“I know you are too light, no matter how many excuses you give, Yuuji,” Sukuna interrupted sharply, an edge to his voice that made Yuuji tense, “I know what starvation looks like in another person,”

Those words silenced every excuse in Yuuji’s head and he shrank back a bit. Sukuna stared ahead, eyes narrowed, cold, and filled with some emotion that seemed unfathomable. His arms tightened a bit around Yuuji as he scowled, baring his teeth slightly.

“I know starvation intimately well and know what it does to people, Yuuji. How it sucks a person away little by little, leaving them a bag of skin and bones until they can’t even crawl. Then they lie in bed, unable to do much but breath as the insects already start their work on what’s left of their body before they have even drawn their last breath,”

The king of curses looked on ahead, a distant look in his eyes as if recalling something he hadn’t been forced to turn over in his head for a long time. It was a familiar look though, one that Yuuji had caught on his own face and those of the sorcerers who had survived Shibuya. The same look that had been on Maki’s face last he had seen her.

That look of unfathomable loss that could tear the soul apart and drag it down into such painful memories that never would heal, only be buried until they ached again.

Yuuji reached out to touch one of Sukuna’s arms, giving it a gentle rub, “Sukuna, I’m-”

“You’re starving to death, Yuuji,” Sukuna said quietly, “And all I can think about is the irony of seeing another person who saw me as human doing the same thing. That I’ll be sitting at your side in the morning light, listening to you talk as I pick the maggots off of a body to frail to do it themselves,”

A strange fear crept up Yuuji’s spine as he tensed, glancing up at Sukuna, “What?”

“My mother starved to death,” Sukuna said quietly, moving to rest his chin in one hand, all four eyes closed, “The village already saw her as a pariah, some less than human peasant woman pregnant without a husband. A daughter of a despicable family, the much hated Ryoumen Clan. The last of that awful bloodline,”

Sukuna scowled, “A reputation not made better when she gave birth to one child and the bloody, malformed lump of flesh that was suppose to be a second child, long since dead in her womb. The village drove her into the mountains with what they called her yokai child,”

Yuuji was silent, staring at Sukuna as the king of curses sorted through those early memories and stories of his life. A scowl was on his lips, as if talking about it at all was something he loathed to do and yet was forcing the story out at last. As if he needed Yuuji to hear it to help him make sense of how he felt.

“She was too starved to provide milk, but she was a talented sorcerer. She had the raw talent of her bloodline and knew well enough how to preform reverse cursed technique. So she did what she thought she must to keep her only child alive,”

Sukuna opened his eyes, flicking his gaze down to Yuuji, “She loved me dearly and she fed me on her own flesh. She would carve out what muscle and meat still clung to her starved bones and prepare it. Whatever it took to keep her child alive, because that is all she wanted,”

Yuuuji couldn’t help the horror in his soul at that thought and his mind couldn’t even imagine such a thing to have happened. Yet in the dark, in that formless night, his mind could create a woman, skinny and deathly pale, hands trembling as she sat outside whatever shelter she could build, digging knives into her own skin, using her cursed technique to heal what was taken, just to have more to give.

He could feel his stomach churn at the idea as he stared up at Sukuna. The king of curses gave a humorless chuckle, “I was too young to understand what was going on. She fed me and then at night would hold me close and sing to me and tell me stories. Then, when she was too weak to heal herself, she laid on her bed, and would simply comfort me,”

One of Sukuna’s hands closed over Yuuji’s own, stroking over the top of it, “I would hold her hand like this and she would smile and tell me I would be okay because she loved me and did what she could. She forgave me for what I would have to eventually do when she died and there was no other options. I had no idea her words were empty comfort and she would leave me alone, even as I picked maggots off her and brought anything I could to offer her as a meal,” Sukuna scowled, “She always told me to eat and that if I ate, it would fill her belly, because love was a meal that could sate her. Foolish. Love was so damn worthless and she made me think it was something that could save us,”

Sukuna closed his eyes, “She died in her sleep. Quietly. In horrible pain. It was five days later that I started to eat what was left. Starvation makes monsters out of everyone Yuuji,”

“How old were you?” Yuuji whispered out.

“Five? Old enough to understand what I was doing was a crime without forgiveness, but too starved to care,” Sukuna said with a small shrug as he continued to gently stroke Yuuji’s hand, “That was the last time I bothered to cry over something as worthless as love. She loved me, but she didn’t understand I needed her alive more than I needed her dead,”

“So you loved her?”

“Perhaps. The feelings I had back then are so long lost, I can’t recall. I don’t even recall what she looked like,” Sukuna admitted, “Only what she and her maggots tasted like,”

The cold look returned to Sukuna’s eyes as he looked at Yuuji then, all four eyes staring into him, “You remind me too much of her. How you starve and slowly die and try to comfort me with sweet words as if that is going to do anything to save this situation. The only difference now is at least I can say it now that you mean more to me alive than dead, Yuuji and I’m not going to keep believing in just your words about all this. I want the truth from you,”

Yuuji was silent, tensed. In the night he sat there and felt like the specter of some woman, bloody and torn apart, rotting and smiling as she patted the hand of her young son and comforted him about her death that he didn’t comprehend was coming. She loved and hid the truth and there was pain in that lie. Pain that lasted so many years that it left its mark forever. A faceless woman.

A faceless woman who’s taste was the only thing to recall.

Yuuji shivered, swallowing hard before he moved to lean against Sukuna as he stared off into the darkness, “I’m probably am dying,” He finally admitted, “In the present. My body is probably starting to give out even though they are doing what they can to keep me alive at the hospital,”

The truth fell from his lips, quiet and broken and he could feel Sukuna tense against him. He felt an arm wrap around him, as if the king of curses wanted more than ever to keep him close.

“How long have you known?”

“Since maybe the third time this happened?” Yuuji gave a weak shrug, “I woke up in a hospital and my body had gone into a comma. After that, each time I woke up, I had been in a comma longer and losing more weight, getting weaker,”

Yuuji swallowed hard, looking down, “I think this might be the last time I can come here. I don’t think I’ve been able to go back because I don’t have the strength to, but I wouldn’t mind dying here. That’s what I told myself. It would be a peaceful death in a place where I don’t feel alone,”

A choked, humorless laugh managed to push its way out of Yuuji then, “Maybe I’m already dead and I’m just whatever left, withering away,”

“You aren’t dead,” Sukuna said with a frown, pulling Yuuji closer, “There are people in your time that care for you too much to let you die like that,”

Those words sent a hot rush of guilt through Yuuji’s veins as he curled up some, “You think so?”

“I know so. The way you speak of your friends, I do not see any of them wanting to let go of you, just as you never want to let go of them,” Sukuna let one hand comb through Yuuji’s hair, “That I know I certainly would not let you die even if it would be an act of self preservation,”

Yuuji was silent and he could see the Sukuna of the present, sat upon his throne in a decaying realm of blood and bones, unable to interact with the world beyond his host, but from within, hold together a body that was slowly dying through sheer will alone, even if it was draining away his cursed energy and very being just to try. A body rotting away as surely as his own mother who forgave him for what he would have to do next.

But there was nothing to devour and sob over. No hunger to be had. Only a worthless sentiment that wasn’t suppose to happen at all.

“Love is a worthless thing because it makes people throw away their own lives to protect those they care for beyond all reason,” Sukuna said with a scowl, “And it is a horrible curse for how it awakens a madness in all of us. So why is it everyone seems to want it in some form or another?”

“I don’t know,” Yuuji admitted softly, “I think that’s what makes people keep going after it though, right? To try and figure out what it is all about?”

Sukuna gave a scoffing noise, “Useless,”

“But everyone wants to feel like they mean something to someone else,” Yuuji shifted some before turning to wrap his arms about Sukuna, “I’m sorry I brought up painful memories,”

The king of curses paused before sighing, closing his eyes, “I don’t share that with many. It is painful, but I suppose, tiger cub, we all have our Shibuya incident that we have to grow around. I did not speak of your experience lightly, but from years of dealing with that memory,”

One hand lightly ran fingers through Yuuji’s hair, the frown never leaving his face, “But the memory has faded. I don’t feel much of anything for what happened. Gratitude maybe. Anger at times. But she was only human, even if no one wanted to acknowledge that. I forgot her face. I made peace that she has long since been gone. The only contempt I hold are for those that saw her as something to be cast aside,”

Yuuji swallowed hard and reached to put his hands over Sukuna’s arms holding onto them just as tightly as they held onto him, “She was human, just as you are. And me. And everyone else on this stupid planet,” He let out a small laugh, “Guess we are at our worse when we forget to treat everyone like they matter as a person, not a thing,”

Sukuna gave a soft hum of agreement, although he frowned a touch more, “So if you see me at human, brat, then answer me this: is it fair to make me have to watch you die so you get what you want? To make me feel powerless to stop this?”

That had Yuuji tensing a bit and he couldn't help a small wince, “It isn’t fair,” he whispered as he lowered his head, tensing, “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“I don’t need an apology,” Sukuna said with a frown, “I need a solution,”

Yuuji shifted some, his arms still wrapped about Sukuna as he closed his eyes, “I don’t have one,”

A lie.

He knew there was an easy solution. All he had to do was return to the present, but a mad fear gripped him now at the thought of having to go back to the present and be confronted with that aching loneliness and so many people and faces that kept drifting further away before he could grasp onto them.

He was too tired. Just too tired to go back.

Sukuna’s grip on him tightened a bit, “Then I’ll find one,”

The words were said with a grim determination, a simmering anger that had Yuuji going silent. Neither of them spoke. The darkness engulfed them, but neither was alone. They had each other and the traumas that shaped them, lurking like vicious memories in the dark. A faceless woman with a taste of fetid rot. A city destroyed and its ghosts lined up with eyes turned blankly to the sky.

Yuuji closed his eyes tight as if he could run away from both those visions.

He wasn’t aware he had even fallen asleep.

The conversation of the night and his own fatigue had perhaps caught up with him. Or maybe his brain had shut itself down to spare him any more of those horrible truths. Either way, Yuuji found himself awakening in the familiar bed of Sukuna, tucked in gently among silken sheets. The morning light was flooding into the room from the open doorway and the song of sweet birdsong filled the air, banishing away the hideous dark of the previous night.

Slowly Yuuji pushed himself up and he gave a glance around the room before he paused, his eyes fixed on the broad back of Sukuna as he sat on the porch, a cup of tea in one hand and his face blank of all emotions. He sat as he had the night they had spoken before, although his eyes were filled with a furious determination that already made clear that he would hear no excuses that day now that the truth was out.

“Sorry,” Yuuji murmured, “I guess...I fell asleep,”

Sukuna was silent as he took a small sip of his tea, eyes still fixed ahead, not bothering to look back at Yuuji. The silence had Yuuji shifting and feeling like he had done something wrong. He swallowed hard, “Sukuna-”

“You need to go back,”

The words caused Yuuji to jolt, “What?”

“You need to go back to the present, Yuuji. Even if it pains me to say, it pains me even more to see you waste away like this,” He finally turned to look back at Yuuji, “You can’t stay here. Not with me in this time,”

Yuuji tensed up, knowing he was getting defensive and feeling the pain and guilt in his chest, the dark mass of emotions he had buried for so long under the beautiful colors of the past were finally being pulled free. The comfort of the past had already started to bleed away, but now it felt like the canvas he had so carefully created was melting away into muddled puddles of brown and black on the ground.

“I can’t go back,” Yuuji whispered hoarsely, “I don’t want to go back,”

“You speak as if I’m giving you a choice,” Sukuna said coldly, as he rose to his feet, staring down at Yuuji with a look present Sukuna often fixed him with, “You are going back,”

“No!”

Yuuji had curled up and pulled away from him. He could feel his breath in his chest, the panic that was clawing at him as he stared at Sukuna, “I don’t-”

“You won’t go alone,”

Those four words had the angry words dying in Yuuji’s throat, “What?”

“I’m going with you,” Sukuna said, his expression softening a bit, “Even it will be for a short time, I will go to this present with you, to ensure you are well,”

“You would?”

Sukuna nodded, “Whatever it takes to save you, tiger cub. A favor must be repaid for what you’ve done for me,”

“What I’ve done for you?”

A faint smile touched Sukuna’s lips as he came over, offering two hands for Yuuji to take, “That matters little tiger cub. Just know you’ve given me much to consider and perhaps saving you is a strange second chance for something I couldn’t do before,”

Yuuji let his hands be engulfed by the larger ones of the king of curses, “And I know, deep down inside, you are too stubborn to simply die like this, tiger cub. I’ve seen the fire in your soul. I know how much you hate to see others suffer when you could do something to help. Is wasting away in selfish pleasure like I would truly how you want to end your life?”

He pulled Yuuji to his feet and for the first time in a long time, Yuuji looked around. The manor that Sukuna lived in, filled with wealth that was once left untouched, now looking more used and like there was a life here. The overgrown gardens and sludge covered carp pond that stood near the kitchens where Uraume was no doubt preparing breakfast, were a little bit more care for as if its owner had found a reason to even bother with it. The sunlight touched upon everything and lit it up with lovely colors, although there was something faded to it all. Faded, but still there.

It made him wonder when this place, once his sanctuary, had started to look as dull as the present.

“How would you even come with me?” Yuuji asked quietly.

“I’ve had time to examine this whole situation, from the standpoint of sorcerer,” Sukuna said as he pulled Yuuji along, “This is no technique, as much as a strange resonance of the soul where the me here and the me in the present are acting as anchor points for your soul to travel between. So it stands to reason that if I can tether myself to your soul when you travel back, and it will temporarily pull me along,”

“but, how would you get back? I don’t want you to die either!”

“Uraume is here. I just establish a new anchor point before I depart with you,” Sukuna said with a small shrug, “I am not called the king of curses just because I can walk around as a calamity. I am an accomplished sorcerer in many different arts, tiger cub and I pride myself on taking apart sorcery, be it techniques or more practical applications of the art,”

Yuuji looked down at their held hands and then out over the gardens. He could feel a lump in his throat and a heaviness in his chest. For a moment, he closed his eyes and felt like he was sinking deep inside of himself with the quiet question that was the crux of everything.

Was this really how he wanted to die?

Death was a strange concept to Yuuji. He had never seen it much until the moment he became a sorcerer. Then he was seeing so many die from what curses would do. So many horrible wretched deaths, but most were so sudden. In the blink of an eye, people died without any comfort to be had.

It also left behind so many people who suffered for the loss of someone they held dear.

Yuuji began to think then of his grandfather and his death.

It made him think about the heaviness in his chest as he watched his grandfather’s hands become too unsteady for calligraphy and how the old man had put it aside with the gruff assurance he would pick it up later.

He never did.

He never did a lot of things he once did as he slowly started to draw closer to the end of his life. Yuuji knew the old man was going to die soon and he had smiled through it and went about his life in a strange denial. Even in the end, had he ever truly mourned the loss or like so many things, had he bottled it up, held onto that moment too long, and tried to rationalize the empty feeling that remained?

What were his friends going through watching him waste away? What pain was Choso going through watching someone he claimed as kin die after already losing two brothers? What about Maki who lost a sister and now a friend?

What about Sukuna where one watched him die in the present and one watched him die in the past, both aching in their own ways and struggling with a grief both old and new?

Yuuji gritted his teeth and felt something start to emerge from the heavy feelings in his chest and a new question roared to life deep inside him.

How could this be how he really died.

How could this be the end?

“I’ll go back if it is with you,” Yuuji said softly, even as his voice cracked.

“And that is the tiger cub I know so fondly,” Sukuna smiled, a more sincere thing as he started to pull Yuuji along, “I’ve already made preparations for the ritual,”

“You really were going to make me do it no matter my answer, weren’t you?” Yuuji said with a small laugh.

Sukuna gave a smirk at that, eyes narrowing, “Tiger cub, I can only be myself and go after what I desire. Sometimes that may clash with your ideas of selflessness, but in this case, I think my selfishness is more necessary. You have to go back, and if you are not strong enough to go on your own, then I swear I am going to carry your soul to the present and shove it back into that idiotic body of yours,”

Yuuji let out another laugh, although he felt tears seeping out the corner of his eyes that he tried to brush away. Those words only had that fire, that glow of warmth starting to burn up again. The ashes of Shibuya that had smothered him so were beginning to stir and glow with embers that weren’t as dead as Yuuji thought.

There was a will in him yet. A will buried under a dream, crushed by reality, but pulled out by the least expectant person alive. Yuuji laughed, and just held on tighter to the hand that was now set on saving at least one life even if he would care for no other.

Sukuna pulled Yuuji into the dinning room which had been cleared away of all things and the once immaculate floor had carved in symbols and intricate designs that looked like some sort of strange magic out of a movie than real sorcery. Uraume sat cross-legged in one part of the whole symbol, a slight frown on their lips, but their gaze was one of grim understanding.

“This is-”

“Rather elaborate, but I don’t take shortcuts in my work,” Sukuna said with a wave of his hand before turning to Yuuji, “Not when I am trying not to do more harm to you in any way,”

Those words had Yuuji smiling some, even as his heart was thundering in his chest and wanting to doubt himself and this choice he was making, “I know,”

“You will return and I will be with you, I vow this,” Sukuna said as he leaned in, brushing lips against Yuuji’s forehead.

“Will the uh, other you be there still too?”

Sukuna gave a small nod, frowning just a touch, “He will. Both of us will be existing at once for a short time,”

Yuuji could only image the chaos that would cause. The jujutsu soicety was going to shit concrete slabs at the idea of two king of curses being around. Not to mention Yuuji had a feeling the two were not going to get along. In his mind, he was imagining the past and present versions of Sukuna having a bickering match and wondered if that would count as self-loathing.

He was feeling to tired to try and wrap his mind around that and only gave a snort at the passing thought.

He focused his tired mind more on holding onto Sukuna’s hand as he tugged him towards the circle, “Just as long as you are there. I think...I think I can do this,” Yuuji said quietly, “I think I can finally wake up again. Maybe try to live a little bit longer, “

“Good. Because if I have to live in your body in the present, I would rather we both survive,”

Sukuna leaned in then, letting one hand stroke the side of Yuuji’s face, “Let us see if we can defy the ending of this story and write something better,”

With those words, the king of curses closed the distance between them.

Yuuji felt himself melt as Sukuna kissed him. A quick, gentle thing, more of reassurance, but it helped to calm the anxious lift in his soul. As they pulled apart, Sukuna moved to guide Yuuji to the center of the design on the floor, “Now all you need to do is sit here, close your eyes, and reach back for the present,”

“Reach back for the present,” Yuuji breathed out, but did not resist as he sat down in the indicated spot.

He looked over to Uraume. They looked back, offering a small smile, encouraging in their own quiet way, although they clearly looked reluctant to see him go. Yuuji then turned his gaze to Sukuna as the king of curses sat down before him, meeting his gaze.

“You won’t wake up alone. I’ll be there,” he said softly, “Just as you need me,”

Yuuji gave a small nod before he took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

People were waiting for him in the present still. He told himself that over and over again. There were people that weren’t going to let go of him.

So how could he be so stupid to let go of them?

Yuuji imagined himself reaching back, through darkness, through moonlight, through sunlight, through faded and dull colors, through a woman with no face, through fireworks and exploding fire, and through the ashes of Shibuya until his fingertips brushed against someone else in the dark. A moment of touch, then feeling hands grasp onto his own. Many hands, all different, but all waiting for him to come back.

He let his hands curl around those ones he found and held on, letting himself fall deeper, or maybe rush upwards, not about to give up just yet.

He would hold on a while longer and maybe see if the ending of this story could be something more than a tragedy after all.

Chapter Text

It took so much effort for Yuuji to open his eyes, as if they were weighed down, nearly glued shut with how tired he was.

It was a strange sort of fatigue, like every limb in his body had given out and grown heavy. A weight sat on his chest as if his heart had been reduced to stone and left to sit in the fragile cage of his ribs, barely beating, yet felt heavy in his throat. Yuuji stared blankly at the dotted, drop down ceiling above him, a pale blue color in the thin rays of the weak dawn slowly creeping up. It made it feel like winter had come into the room, painting everything in its cold, unyielding greys, blues, and melancholy white once more. He could hear the beat of a heart monitor that at least let him know his heart still worked at all. That dull beep mixed with the slight wheezing breaths he took through the mask attached to his face were the only noises that echoed in that strange purgatory like room.

Yuuji felt so weak, a prisoner in his own body. For the first time in his life, he felt a panic seize him as he couldn’t even muster the strength to sit up, couldn’t even move his head to look at his body. His mind conjured up pictures of himself, prone, nothing but a skeleton and looking like some monstrous, pale shadow of his former self. Yet for all that, there was a strange energy in his veins, something sluggish, not blood, but it felt familiar, like when he was fighting, but less energetic. His tired mine grasped for something beyond his panic as his eyes darted about the room, looking for some hint of someone else, just something to speak to, just to remind himself he was not in some limbo between life and death.

His lips parted, rasping out a meek, pitiful sound as his tongue desperately tried to form words. His mouth felt so sluggish and wrong, almost like his body was some stranger to him. Yuuji tried to take in a deeper breath and force out the word sitting so heavy on his tongue, a panicked plea for someone he could not see in the room with him from where he laid.

“Su...Su...k…!”

“You’re here again?”

Yuuji felt his heart skip a beat at that soft, almost whisper at the back of his mind, a voice that brought to mind the man who promised to be here with him. He sucked in another air, his heart beat jolting some and managed to shift his body some, fingers curling, pressing, trembling against the sheets.

“Suk...Suka…!”

“Stop moving brat, your body is not ready for such things!” The voice snapped, more abrasive, strained and tired in a way that was unfamiliar to Yuuji.

“I… but…!”

“The only thing keeping you alive is me, brat. Your body has been surviving on what medical care they can give and my cursed energy. So just shut up, shut up and just stay put this once!”

The voice was in his head and Yuuji felt a cold realization that it was not the Sukuna of the past speaking to him, but the shadow of him dwelling in his body in the present. Those words were harsh in his ear and he could feel something moist forming at the corner of his eyes as he lay there. He panted, giving a slow shake of his head as he closed his eyes tight.

“No...he said...he said!”

“Calm down! You can’t be pushing yourself like this! Do you want to undo everything you damn brat!?”

“I...no…! No!”

Yuuji could feel the panic break the stone about his heart, causing it to start hammering like a trapped bird against his ribs. The beep of the heart monitor was ticking up, setting a rapid tempo in that cold room, aglow with the colors of winter. He lay in the rubble of Shibuya all over again, only unable to move, unable to get away. He closed his eyes tight, but he couldn’t escape the fatigue. Couldn’t escape that voice snarling to him.

“Brat, if you don’t calm down-”

“I would suggest you silence your tongue until you can be more constructive with your words,”

Yuuji’s eyes flew open as he heard that other voice, not from his own body, but from above him. His panicked stare met four blue eyes as the king of curses, the one from the past, leaned over him and he couldn’t keep in a soft choking sound as the tears slipped free.

The past Sukuna though wasn’t smiling as he looked over Yuuji. His eyes were narrowed, cold, yet filled with some emotion so deep behind them, it was hard to name. A hand came down to cup Yuuji’s face and he found himself leaning into it. A sigh fell from the curse above him, those four eyes softening just a touch.

“What have you done to yourself, tiger cub?” He asked softly.

“I’m….I’m sorry...” Yuuji managed to choke out.

Sukuna shook his head, “You have nothing to apologize for as long as you recover,”

His gaze flicked upwards to the machines, taking in the strange devices with a frown, more born of not knowing what he was looking at and trying to determine what use it served. Two eyes traced over wires, following from where they were attached to Yuuji and then back to the machines and to the walls. The other pair looked over the bed Yuuji was in, then he leaned back some, looking about the room of cold concrete and metal covered in drywall, painted a hollow white with only a single window that was letting in the slow light of dawn.

There was a slight tension to his shoulders as if this new place put him on edge. Yuuji could only imagine how strange it all looked and he found himself forcing one of his own hands to rise to grope for Sukuna’s, a wavering smile on his lips under the oxygen mask he wore.

“Told you….the...told you the present...was going to be a shock,”

“Indeed,” Sukuna looked back to the machines, “They have learned to use cursed energy in clever ways,”

The king of curses eyes slipped back down to Yuuji, frowning a touch before he lifted a finger, pressing it to his cheek, “And there I see where my less savory self lies,”

Yuuji blinked, although he could feel the familiar, but still strange, tug on his cheek when Sukuna would manifest an eye. He expected the Sukuna inside him to say something, especially as the past Sukuna had been the one to not only snap at him to shut up, but also now was insulting him with a sneer on his lips. Yet for some reason, the curse in Yuuji’s soul remained solemnly silent, the eye narrowing a moment before closing and pulling away.

He could practically feel the curse retreating deep into the recesses of his soul, like some creature curling up into the safety of its lair to bare teeth at something displeasing linger so close. The past Sukuna only watched impassively, opening his mouth then as if to speak before he was jerking back as the door to the hospital room burst open.

“Yuuji!?”

Shoko stood there, no doubt drawn to the room when Yuuji’s heart monitor had started to increase. Yuuji turned his head to look at her and he noted just how much more tired she looked. The bags under her eyes were more pronounced and there more apparent lines about her face that made her look older, more forlorn, and as if she had forgotten entirely how to smile. Her eyes were wide with horror as she regarded the four armed king of curses that stood above Yuuji’s bed, his head cocked towards her with a calculated look, no doubt judging if she was a threat or not. Shoko swallowed before she quickly turned, mouth already opened to no doubt raise the alarm.

Yuuji let out a croak of protest, fighting to sit up all over again, “No!”

There was a burst of movement from the four armed Sukuna as he went after the sorcerer. In the blink of an eye, he had one hand wrapped about Shoko’s neck and she was unceremoniously yanked through the door which was kicked closed behind her. The king of curses wasted little time in slamming her up against the wall, all four eyes narrowed. He raised another hand, two fingers already extended and ready to finish the dead as he scowled, looking more than ready to kill as he took her as a threat. Yuuji felt his heart leap into his chest and he forced himself to sit up, letting out a loud wheezing gasp as he raised his voice then, so desperate to not let another death happen.

“Sukuna no! Please! Shoko….Shoko is a friend!” he managed out with effort.

The king of curses paused when Yuuji spoke, giving him a glance over his shoulder towards him. His expression was pensive for a moment before he glanced back to Shoko who was wincing, clutching at the hands about her neck and trying to drag in breaths. He regarded the woman a moment before he let out a snort and set her back down.

“I suppose you are the one that has been taking care of the brat then, since you seemed to know when he had regained his senses,” the four-armed Sukuna said with a frown, “I will thank you for that, woman, but do not push my patience beyond that,”

Shoko kept her back flat to the wall, looking between the massive king of curses standing in front of her and then over to Yuuji, terror clear even as she tried to regain her composure, “Yuuji? Yuuji what is going on?”

Yuuji swallowed hard, trying to get past the sandpaper in his throat and reminded then how parched he felt. He managed to take a breath, trying to sort out of his words past his heavy tongue and the tremble of his body as it struggled to keep him sitting up.

“Shoko, you said...you said once any favor I needed to feel better, you would...you would do it,” he said softly, “This is that favor...its...”

He gave a cough, struggling to speak further. Sukuna sighed, coming over to place a finger to Yuuji’s lips, “Quiet tiger cub. I’ll explain what is going on,”

“How-”

“My being here is a passing thing,” Sukuna interrupted, glancing to her, “I am not the king of curses of this time. That one is still contained within Yuuji, so you need not raise any needless alarms to hassle this whole thing further. I am here for him and his well-being,”

Shoko blinked, looking even more confused and a tad suspicious, “I thought it was well documented how little you cared about your vessel,”

“If I cared so little, he wouldn’t be alive right now,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “I can explain all of this further,”

The four-armed king of curses pauses, giving a glance to Yuuji before he straightened up, turning to face Shoko, “But I’ll only do so in private,”

Yuuji blinked some at that, staring up at the past Sukuna and feeling something in his stomach roll. It was a cold sinking feeling that made him worry his lip some. Tentatively he reached out to touch one of Sukuna’s arms, “Why private?”

“Because you need actual rest and need to recover your strength. I do not like to see you like this,” Sukuna said softly, reaching to run fingers through his hair.

Shoko frowned, “But if he falls asleep, what if-”

“He won’t. With me here, that is now impossible,” the four-armed curse said, “And I will explain all of that is well, as long as I have your word to not interfere with myself and Yuuji’s business while I am here for however long this takes,”

Yuuji could see the hesitancy in Shoko’s eyes and if this had been a few months ago, he probably would be right along with her in being suspicious of all this. The idea of there being two king of curses with one of them, a more fully reincarnated version of the past, wanting to help him, was ludicrous. It was unbelievable and yet, here they were. Her eyes went to where Yuuji was holding one of Sukuna’s hands for comfort, looking at her.

“It will be okay,” he paused before offering her a smile, “I’ll be okay,”

She hesitated a moment more before she sighed, her shoulders slumping as she shook her head, “This is going to be hard to explain,” she murmured, but her gaze flicked to the four-armed king of curses before her, “The explanation you are going to give have better be a good one,”

“I’ll be to the point, but thorough,” he said as he gave one last squeeze to Yuuji’s hand, glancing down to him, “I’ll be back shortly,”

“Okay,” Yuuji said softly.

“Get some rest,”

A hand was on Yuuji’s shoulder, easing him back down against the bed, although he put up little protest. He was too tired to do so, all but sagging into the scratchy hospital bed sheets like he was made of bags of rocks.

Shoko stood at the entrance to the room, tense and lips pursed, but she didn’t move to raise an alarm and when Sukuna approached, she gave a polite dip of the head before leading the way out of the room to find a place to speak privately. The past Sukuna though paused in the doorway, as if having a thought and gave a glance over his shoulder, fixing a glare towards Yuuji.

“As for my other self, I would ask that you do try not to make things worse while I’m gone for a few moments? I wouldn’t like my hard work undone,”

With that, he left the room with Shoko, leaving Yuuji laying there in bed, feeling tired, but unable to sleep, nervous about something going wrong. The room was silent save for the gentle whirr of the medical machines and the faint sound of birdsong building outside the window. He turned his head, looking towards where the morning light was coming in, slowly starting to bring a few shades of pinks and purples to the dreary blue of the room. From where he laid, he couldn’t see much outside save the black silhouettes of the top of some trees and a few clouds in the sky.

Yuuji wondered if he was in a hospital proper in Tokyo or in the one run by the Jujutsu Sorcerers. A sigh fell from his lips as his gaze slid back to the door, perhaps a bit anxious for Sukuna’s return.

“He’ll be fine, brat. Do you think any fool would truly take myself on?”

The voice, familiar, yet still so different had Yuuji frowning a bit, although too tired to put up walls and defenses as he closed his eyes, “I’m not worried about him,”

“He won’t harm your friends any further,”

“How can you be sure?”

The question was whispered out and the response was a rasping, tired, and humorless laugh, nothing like the maniacal laughter he was so use from the Sukuna that lived within his soul.

“Brat, he’s me. Would I not know myself better than anyone?” the present Sukuna growled out, “Or have you forgotten that?”

Yuuji tensed. He had forgotten that. He always forgot that. Or maybe he was just trying to convince himself that it couldn’t be true. Yet he had seen the four-armed Sukuna turn so quick to violence when Shoko had rushed in and there was no doubt she would have been dead if he hadn’t said something.

If he hadn’t stopped him.

“Must be so lovely now that he’s here, isn’t it? I’m sure he will fix everything,” the present Sukuna’s contempt was so bitter, so defeated, so lacking in the usual vitriol of hate that it had Yuuji feel a creep of unease up the back of his neck, “You’ll give him everything he needs, won’t you?”

“He can help me, but no one can fix me,” Yuuji murmured, closing his eyes, “Didn’t he...you tell me that? People don’t get fixed. They just grow around it,”

There was a long pause of silence and for a moment, Yuuji imagined the curse inside him pulling away once more. The sound of bird song outside remained soft and relaxing to Yuuji. It reminded him of the birds outside of Sukuna’s manor, going about their lives without any real care for curses or depression or the one hundred and one complications of being human. They just lived.

“I think it is more that you never needed to be fixed in the first place, brat. You just needed everyone else to realize that,”

Yuuji’s eyes opened, his brow furrowed at the curious words, but he remained silent. A part of his was still so wary of the curse that lurked in his very soul. He was a stranger despite living inside him. He knew the Sukuna in the past better than the Sukuna that he had been cursed to endure.

He wondered if he himself was the same way, a different person in the past, unrecognizable in the present. A stranger to friends. A stranger to the curse inside him. A stranger to the whole damn world.

The click of the door opening had Yuuji looking over as the past king of curses entered again, face a touch solemn, tired, but with a smile on his lips for Yuuji as if to hide whatever thoughts he had. Shoko followed in after him, her arms crossed tight over her chest and somehow looking more tired, sadness heavy in her expression, yet she too managed a smile.

“Well Yuuji, not going to sugar coat your condition here, it isn’t good,” she said as she approached him then, putting a hand over his own, “But I think you’ll pull through between all of us here gunning for you,”

“All of us?” he echoed, blinking some.

“Me, Choso,Todo, Megumi, Maki, Kusakabe, Toge,” she paused, glancing over to the king of curses as he went to the window, staring out at the view with a pensive look, “Sukuna too now, or well, maybe he was the one doing all the heavy lifting in keeping you alive,”

Yuuji looked down at her hand, “Everyone?”

“They have been here almost constantly wanting to sit with you. Megumi has been wracked with guilt, blaming himself for you being in a coma. Maki too,” she gave a quiet laugh, “Honestly all of us felt like we had let you down in some way,”

He felt that bubble of guilt in his throat as he shook his head, “No it was...it was just me, I-”

“Yuuji, you don’t have to take the blame for this. We all were handling things backwards,” Shoko interrupted softly, patting his hand, “We are all groping about in the darkness, trying to find a way to deal with everything, and sometimes we grope off in the wrong direction, maybe say the wrong things, but, we still got each other, right?”

He gave a wobbly smile at that, nodding to her, “Yeah, right,”

Shoko gave a smile, patting his hand before she rose to her feet, “I’ll be back in a little bit with some dinner for you. If you can start eating on your own, that will help you on your road to recovery. That and some reversed cursed energy therapy,”

Yuuji gave a small nod, “Okay,” he paused before offering her a smile, “Can you tell the others I’m all right?”

“I can, but I don’t think I’ll be able to keep them out and they probably are going to have a reaction about Sukuna from the past hanging out in your room,” She said with a small laugh, “One Sukuna puts everyone on high alert, two Sukuna is going to cause mass panic,”

The four armed Sukuna gave a snort, glancing over before he looked back out the window, “I can easily mask my appearance to something that will be less alarming to you sorcerers,”

“Pardon everyone being skittish, but there is still a hole in Japan called Shibuya with your name on it,” Shoko drawled tiredly, “And if you plan on...going outside with Yuuji, it is probably best to adopt some measure of disguise,”

Sukuna gave a snort, “You are lucky you are a friend of the brat,”

“I’ve always been lucky to call Yuuji a friend,” she retorted as he moved towards the door, “He’s the only one among us that reminds us it is still okay to be human and try and find some happiness in the world,”

Yuuji blinked at her words, blushing a bit and looking down at his hands. Sukuna glanced to the door, waiting for Shoko to leave before he let out a huff, turning to look towards the young sorcerer, “Your companion there is a rather forceful and spirited one. She has the gall to tell me what to do in the case of your care,”

“Well, she is a professional in patching sorcerers up and shoving them back onto the field, so probably knows what she is talking about,” Yuuji rasped out, just glad he was able to form words now without his tongue getting in the way, “But uh, if you aren’t busy, could really use some water,”

Sukuna gave a nod, pausing a moment, before looking to Yuuji,” Where is the well then?”

Yuuji had to fight a snort, “In that smaller door there. The sink. Just pull the silver handles and water comes out? The blue one is cold water,”

The king of curses regarded him before slinking to the door and into the small hospital bathroom. He stood there a moment, looking at the handles with a plastic cup in hand before tugging on the blue one, eyes widening a touch when water just came out. He leaned in, rubbing his chin, eyes narrowed before glancing at Yuuji through the door.

“What is the red one for?”

“Hot water,”

“Hot water,” Sukuna murmured, “That is better for the stomach and digestion,”

“You sound like the old woman I lived next door to whenever my grandfather complained about any aches or pains. Just drink hot water, cures everything,” Yuuji said with a chuckle.

Sukuna gave a roll of his eyes, “And now you are being the cheeky brat I question why I tolerate,” he drawled as he brought over a cup of hot water.

Yuuji gave a faint smile although he paused, touching at the mask on his face, “Uh, I don’t know...if I’m suppose to take this off?”

“Not a problem,” The four-armed king said before he gave a sharp tap to Yuuji’s cheek, making him wince, “You inside, open a mouth to drink this, would you?”

“I don’t recall agreeing to having to take orders from you,”

Yuuji tensed, well aware of the eye on his cheek had formed again, shooting a glare to the four armed curse. It was like a standoff between the two, one in which the four-armed Sukuna only frowned, pressing the cup up to the lips of the mouth on Yuuji’s cheek.

“I don’t recall asking you for any of your opinions,” he sneered with all the usual disdain that Yuuji wasn’t sure which Sukuna was actually talking in that moment, “Now drink it. The brat’s health is my priority, so I would think it is yours as well, or did you nearly drain yourself into non-existence for a chuckle?”

The eye was glaring hatefully at the four-armed Sukuna of the past, but did as he was told, sipping at the water. The past Sukuna gave a disdainful sniff, eyes narrowed, “I expect you to do all that I order as there is only so much I can do from the outside. Given you are so intimately wrapped about his soul, like a hideous leech,”

“Ah yes, because you can take the high moral ground of being the gentle version of us because he has no idea of all the atrocities you commit out of sight,” The present Sukuna sneered, “Being soft has clearly benefited you so greatly in this present time, hasn’t it?”

Yuuji glanced towards the past Sukuna and then towards the cup at his cheek being lowered away. He wasn’t sure to make of the argument. He hadn’t expected the two Sukunas to get along, true, but this was so openly hostile, he was waiting for one of them to try and domain expansion the other or the like. He was pretty sure his body wouldn’t be able to cope with that though.

The two of them seemed to be the very embodiment of self-loathing though, which had Yuuji wondering if they were truly upset with the other or just taking out their own anger at themselves. A strange self-hate now being aired out.

“You should be grateful you have some use,” The past Sukuna retorted, eyes narrowed, “But given of the two of us, one of us has a body, I think it is clear which one of us holds the power here,”

There was another stare down before the present Sukuna let out a scoff and closed his eye, once more retreating inside like a dog kicked by its owner. The past Sukuna frowned the whole time, before his gaze flicked to Yuuji.

“I would ignore any banter we have. I need his cooperation,” past Sukuna said stiffly.

“Okay, uh, but don’t you usually ask people?” Yuuji asked hesitantly.

“Not when I have little respect for them and the pathetic state they are in,”

Yuuji swallowed again, giving a nod, once more seeing too many similarities in mannerism between the two Sukunas now, drawing them all the more closer together. They were starting to tangle up in each other, their venomous words and comments, their mannerism, and their dislike of having another telling them what to do.

Although he was a touch surprised that present Sukuna was the one retreating and putting up little fuss save a few sharp tongued comments. It felt so wrong and bothered something in Yuuji, like there was something missing that he was not actually keen on having gone entirely. He pushed that thought aside, trying to bury it, although that other voice in the back of his head, the one that was screaming at him to stop looking away, was telling him it was too late.

He had to come to terms with how the fractured fragments of Sukuna’s soul, all the different facets he had, all different as the light was shined on them, but all part of the same black diamond, were part of the man that was both trying to save him and had once tried to destroy him.

One in the same. Complex. Different. Changed.

Yuuji let out a sigh, letting himself sink down in the bed, his mind too tired and a headache starting to creep up at his temples. He would be happier when he was out of the hospital bed and not bound to it and all the confusing thoughts swirling about his head.

At least there were plenty of distractions as he grew stronger each day. Sukuna was constant company, curious about everything and finding every new technology something to discover. Yuuji had burst out laughing when he had accidentally bumped the flusher on the toilet and had actually jumped, staring at it like he was expecting it to try and devour him. The TV in particular held his attention for hours at a time, be it an actual show worth watching or the dazzling display of infomercials where Sukuna stared at the various gadgets like he was trying to wrap his head around why they were even invented.

Then there were his friends who came rushing in, Todo in tears, sobbing like it was a miracle Yuuji was there, gushing about his brother needed to promise not to leave him again. Megumi and Maki came as well, both with apologies, the former bringing his dogs to smother Yuuji and apologizing for him being so snappish. Choso had come in and had been reluctant to leave at all, tying himself into nervous knots that he was going to somehow lose the only brother he had left. It had taken both Shoko and Yuuji’s new “bodyguard” to convince him to leave Yuuji to his proper rest.

Said “bodyguard” of course being the disguised king of curses. Without his tattoos and arms and four eyes, he looked so strangely human, no different than any modern man of the era in his sharp business attire. It was Shoko who proposed a bodyguard angle as it would make the most sense given the state Yuuji was in. Kusukabe had been the one that seemed a bit suspicious and the only one to ask why the bodyguard looked like Sukuna if he was reincarnated as a CEO boss. Yuuji has stuttered out it was all a coincidence. For his part, the disguised king of curses just curtly said he was assigned there for one job and there was no need to press him any.

After all, with everything going on, it was probably a good idea to give Yuuji a proper bodyguard to make sure that no incidents happened. They had lost enough people already and there was no telling when Kenjaku’s next plan would be put into the works.

It was a good week before Yuuji was able to finally leave the hospital and step outside and breath in the fresh city air. Yuuji had never thought he would actually miss the distinct sent of car fumes, ozone, and that fresh scent of a breeze that would carry the smell of food on it. Yuuji let out a sigh, not realizing how much he missed being outside in the city as he shuffled out the entrance of the hospital. It was nice to wear actual clothes again and not the paper thin hospital gowns. The sounds of the city were a familiar comfort he hadn’t realized had been missing for so long as he stood outside the hospital, cellphone in hand and Sukuna keeping glued to his side as he peered over a pair of sunglasses at everything.

“How can you enjoy living in such a chaotic place?” he grumbled, “So loud,”

“It kind of fades into the background over time,” Yuuji assured, giving a pat to his arm, “Kind of becomes your lullaby after a while,”

“I will say that is a you thing,” Sukuna commented dryly, “I have found it kind of maddening,”

Yuuji chuckled, “Well, when we get in the car, you can pick the music and we will go get some proper food that isn’t from the hospital,”

The disguised cursed gave a snort, although he followed after Yuuji as he headed out into the parking lot. Yuuji gave a glance around before smiling as he spotted Ijichi, giving a wave before hurrying over. The man looked a tad nervous, but moved to open the door for him and his “bodyguard” before moving to get into the driver’s seat. Sukuna idly shifted in his seat, glancing about before settling on looking out the window.

“I suppose this is more comfortable as the snail, but not as fast,” Sukuna murmured.

“It can get that fast, just you know, there are now traffic laws and can’t just go high speed down the roads,” Yuuji said as he leaned back, glancing out the window.

The past Sukuna gave a snort, leaning against the door and looking out the window like a dog, eager to see absolutely everything. All four eyes were open now, scanning the crowds and stores, at times prodding at Yuuji to ask what something was and listening with utmost attention. Perhaps the Heian era Sukuna didn’t like the noise of the city, but he had an appreciation for music, especially pop music surprisingly and Yuuji had to swallow his snickers at the idea of Sukuna becoming a k-pop simp, arguing online against haters. The curse also, unsurprisingly had an appetite for food of all sorts, and was a bit of snob about it.

Right away Yuuji found his love of junk food was not shared and Sukuna was soon making sure that there was real food being stuffed into Yuuji’s body in the form of grilled meats and vegetable stir-fry. Anytime Yuuji even dared to reach for some form of chips or popcorn, he found the judgmental gaze of the curse upon him and would retract his head like he had been caught trying to sneak cookies away.

“It is never as good as what Uraume makes,” Sukuna grumbled under his breath as he eyed the ice cream in his hand before giving it a tentative lick.

“No one can cook like Uraume. That is not a fair comparison!” Yuuji quipped back, “But just imagine what they could do in this age,”

Sukuna gave a hum, “Probably open that restaurant they had always thought,” he said idly, “Or be on the TV doing those cooking things there,”

Yuuji snickered at the idea of moody, solemn Uraume snidely explaining how to cook while insulting the audience for the simplest of mistakes in the kitchen. He doubted the monk would ever enjoy being on TV like that and most likely would prefer to be a personal cook with money. It had Yuuji leaning up against Sukuna some, giving a lick of his own ice cream, his free hand seeking out Sukuna’s own.

“It would be easier to learn to cook, if you wanted to try. I can cook a pretty good curry once I am in familiar territory and don’t have to kill the chicken out back,” Yuuji said with a touch of a smile.

“Hoh? Still trying to get me to pick up hobbies? Now in this modern age?” Sukuna teased, “How will I ever be able to do any of them? I would have to stay here rather than go back to the Heian era!”

Yuuji was quiet at that, fidgeting some before giving a squeeze to his hand, “I mean, you don’t have to go back if you don’t want to. I wouldn’t...mind you staying here with me,”

He nibbled lightly at his ice cream, staring hard at the ground to hide the blush coming to his cheeks and hating how he had sounded like some shy school girl with a crush. It was nice to have someone to go out with in the city and in disguise, Sukuna blended right into the crowds, not looking a hair out of place. It felt normal for once, normal in a way life hadn’t been in such a long time, it made Yuuji realize how much he missed this.

How he missed the bright lights and crowds of shopping malls, the gaudily dressed people, the confused looking foreigners that stood out like salmon swimming against the crowd, and the glow of neon signs and LED screens flashing advertisements that created a halo of color around everything. The city was alive still, the streets filled with people going about their day and the traffic crawling along to the beat of the modern tempo of the world.

It had been so long since he let himself look at it and not see just dull greys and empty faced people and he couldn’t help but give Sukuna’s hand a squeeze, knowing him being there was helping him to bring the past and present, the mountains and cities, closer together as well. Yet Sukuna didn’t answer his question, gaze out on the city and all the myriads of chaotic screens flashing around and the flow of the crowd that was carrying them along past a few parks.

“Tell me Yuuji, is this what all parts of the city looked like?” Sukuna asked, giving a glance down at him.

“Most parts yeah, but all are different in their own subtle ways,” Yuuji said with a small shrug as he finished up his ice cream, “Why do you ask?”

The king of curses gave a nod, pausing for a long moment before he spoke again. The question he asked though shot ice right through Yuuji’s veins.

“Is this how Shibuya looked like?”

Yuuji didn’t turn to look at Sukuna. His gaze remained fixed ahead as he walked and it felt like the whole world slowed down a few steps around him. The grey was starting to creep back in. A black gaping hole that was stretched out beyond all the glamour around them. He could almost see the wasteland starting to peak out between buildings, as if saying its name has summoned it back to haunt Yuuji.

He swallowed hard, knowing Sukuna would not wait long for an answer. He closed his eyes and gave the barest hint of a nod.

“Yeah. It looked like this. Bigger though. A lot bigger,”

“Is it close by?”

Yuuji looked sharply to Sukuna, eyes a touch wide, haunted, “Why?”

“I want to see,” blue eyes dropped down to look at him, calm and unreadable, “I want to see what it is that haunts you so much that it caused you to want to destroy yourself,”

He stared at Sukuna who looked at him, impassive, without a hint of emotion to be read in his expression, but with the finality that he would either go to Shibuya alone or with Yuuji. All around Yuuji, the world seemed to suddenly close in, suffocating and bleak and formed of grey and he found himself unable to speak as he opened his mouth, closed it, and looked away with a shake of his head.

A hand closed about one of his, firm, unyielding and those blue eyes continued to stare right through him, pinning his soul down, “Which direction?”

Yuuji shook his head again, trembling. He closed his eyes, as if that would be enough to hide from Sukuna’s gaze, like a child hiding from the monster by putting a blanket over their head, “Sukuna, please-”

“Either you keep running from Shibuya Yuuji, and never face it again and me being here is all for naught, or you finally return to see this demon again,” Sukuna said, voice firm, but soft, almost coaxing, “You cannot move on ignoring it like this,”

“What will it matter if I see it again?” Yuuji choked the words out, hating how his voice trembled and made him sound so weak, “Why do I need to see it again?”

“The same reason that I had to see how far your body had started to kill itself in that hospital room. The same reason I am here, Yuuji,” Sukuna responded, that hand in his tightening a bit, “You do not run from pain if you want to start to bury it. This won’t take Shibuya away, but it will start the long fight against it. It is just another opponent in your mind,”

Yuuji opened his eyes, still trembling as he stared at the ground. For the longest time Shibuya had been in his mind and crushing every thought he had. When he looked at friends, he could see it in their eyes too. Like some horrific curse, some beast, it had latched its fingers into all of them, taken away hope, and made them all cogs in the machine. Shibuya laughed and sucked the life from Yuuji as he was told to just move on and complete his purpose. He was just a vessel, a something meant to hold the king of curses, who in turn was nothing short of an unfeeling, monstrous creature that had no place in this world.

But that last fact, that last truth, wasn’t true anymore. Yuuji stood there beside the very curse the world said was a monster and now seemed more human than so many people he had met.

He stared long and hard at the ground before his grip tightened about Sukuna’s hand and he took in a shaky, slow breath, “It’s...it’s this way,” he said, voice barely above a whisper, “North of here,”

“Lead the way then, Yuuji,”

The use of his name by Sukuna made this whole thing feel all the more real to him. It sat heavy on his shoulders with every step, like a weight as he could already imagine what he was going to see. He remained silent in the car ride there, Ijichi not saying a word nor putting up a fuss as he drove them north, although there was tension in him. It was like for everyone, going to Shibuya was some awful confrontation. It had Yuuji trembling, feeling sick to his stomach as he stared at the ground. All he could think of was what would he would see when they got to their destination. It was a pile of rubble, the smell of death still clinging to it, the silence of the grave that came with thousands of people losing their lives in one brief moment, all at the hands of a monstrous being. Yuuji felt his breath come out in shorter pants as they drew ever close and every part of him wanted to turn and run, to put Shibuya away and just try and forget it, never confront it.

Let it stay buried.

Instead he tensed up as the car came to a halt and he was forced to step out after Sukuna and dragged forward. Soon they passed beyond yellow tape, walking broken streets and finally he stood, raising his head at last to look out over the monster that had lived in his head for so long.

Today it was sunny. The blue sky hung overhead with soft puffs of clouds, contrasting to the yellow of construction vehicles that dotted the ground. The imprints of buildings stood in what was once empty landscape, like the shoots of new plants slowly rising upwards out of the ruins. Trees were sitting, wrapped up, slowly being planted along the gravel of where new streets were being put in. The loud sounds of construction and people shouting across the way as they set about the busy work of rebuilding filled the air. There were no curses, only swarms of hard-hat workers moving about like ants over the corpse of Shibuya, taking it apart to let something new come.

It felt jarring to look at. All the color that didn’t sit right with the burnt out grey in Yuuji’s mind. How strange that a place like Shibuya was coming back to life as if the tragedy had never happened. Yuuji found himself standing there trembling as he heard Sukuna sigh next to him, the curse taking it all in as he raised a hand to rub against his chin.

“As always, I destroy something so completely and humanity decides they can rebuild it,” he said, almost sounding disappointed that he couldn’t have seen Shibuya when it had first happened, “Tell me, how many people actually died?”

“I...I don’t know,” Yuuji addmited, voice hoarse.

He hadn’t bother to look. In his mind there had been hundreds of thousands dead. How could there not have been with this taking place in the busy heart of Tokyo? Yet he also knew there had been evacuations. People had gotten out. There had been other feet on the ground working to safe-guard civilians other than himself. Yuuji just stared ahead, trembling as he took in how buildings were rising, being put together with care, and made stronger, more green, more open.

Just so different.

“How can they just rebuild like this on Shibuya?”

The question was blurted out, more demanding than he intended. Sukuna just cocked his head to the side, glancing down at him, “Why should they not rebuild it? It is in human nature to ceaselessly move on,”

“Because people died! It was a national tragedy! They are still talking about it even now!” Yuuji protested, looking wildly up at Sukuna, “If it is still in people’s mind, then why just try and cover it up? Why just-”

“Should it be left forever empty like some graveyard to an event that there are probably already children born that it will mean nothing to?” Sukuna asked, crossing his arms, “What do you want to happen to it, brat? What is the final goal you want for Shibuya?”

The question made Yuuji flinched as he heard the frustrated agitation in Sukuna’s voice. Yuuji swallowed, pausing as he considered Sukuna’s pointed questions and found himself slowly realizing he didn’t have an answer. Shibuya in his mind was cemented in so much pain and suffering, but it was only his pain he was lost in. There were so many others who would have only seen Shibuya on the news, considered it horrible for mere moments, and then forgot about it. The world went on for so many. It hurt to think about, but it was a simple reality. The world went on. Shibuya would be rebuilt. Things would return to normal, if changed in slight ways. Those who suffered would continue to do so until they to could move on.

The world though was always changing and as Yuuji stared at this new picture of Shibuya, he felt that grey desolation in his mind grow more fuzzy around the edges, as if it couldn’t remain complete anymore against what Yuuji was seeing now. Blue skies and a swarm of yellow below. Dust rising up and the noise of progress and humanity’s enduring will to rise above every tragedy. Those who could move on doing so while pulling those still lost along.

Things changed. Life changed. Every day something new could bloom.

Yuuji felt that weight in his chest rise up to his throat, a heavy lump that crawled right out of him, finding his eyes, the tears that slowly began to slip out as he rubbed at his face. Sukuna regarded him, giving a snort and roll of his eyes.

“Brat, I don’t think this is worth crying over,” he complained, “There are better things to waste tears on if you have to have them at all,”

Yuuji gave a quiet laugh, “You really don’t feel a thing about this, do you?”

“I feel nothing,” Sukuna said simply, “But that isn’t to say I can’t feel at all. I suppose I simply determine what is worth my time to care for and waste my time on, and it is typically not the problems of the world or others,”

A hand fell on Yuuji’s head, ruffling his hair, “But I suppose you were one of the rare things I decided was worth giving up what time I have on,”

Those words had more tears slipping out of Yuuji as he tried to laugh, although it came out as a broken sound. Yet Yuuji didn’t stop it, just like he didn’t stop the tears. He kept laughing, the sound getting louder as he turned to press his face against Sukuna’s side. His hands fisted into the cloth of his shirt and he felt an arm wrap about him, holding him steady.

All he could do was laugh now.

He could laugh as Shibuya retreated, screaming of all the pain he endured, how he didn’t deserve to be here for all the death he had allowed to happen. It was his fault this happened. All his fault.

And all he did was laugh in the face of that vicious voice, because now he was equipped with a powerful, tired voice that had been for so long trying to emerge. Something strong, unwavering at his core that swam up through the trauma and finally, for the first time, broke the cycle.

How was Shibuya his fault? He was not the one to start it. He had arrived, done everything he could, fought enemies, tried to contain Sukuna as best he could. Everything he did, was his best, and that was all he could have given. Just like right now, Tokyo was doing its best to recover, rebuilding the district. Lives were lost, but those that remain were rebuilding their lives, just as Yuuji was. Feeling just as guilty that there was something they could have done or done differently.

This calamity wasn’t his fault. Even if he had died weeks before, Shibuya would have still happened. It could have been less damage. It could have been worse. The same faces would have died. Maybe others would have survived.

He had done what he could.

Nobara’s last words echoed in his head as she looked at him, a sad smile on her face as she knew what was coming and accepting it. That moment of serenity and clarity that rose up above grief as she smiled.

“I’ve had a pretty good life,”

Acceptance. Hope. Peace.

Even if her not being there anymore caused so much pain in him, he wouldn’t ever forget her and the impact she left on him for however long he had left to live. He wouldn’t forget everyone he lost in Shibuya, but now, but now…

“So what now brat?”

It almost felt like Sukuna could practically read his mind and Yuuji couldn’t help a small laugh as he had his face still pressed into his chest, sheltered in the arms of the one who caused all this, but at the same time was saving him from it all. A strange twist of fate perhaps, but it showed that mercy, in all its forms, could still be found in places he refused to look.

Mercy. Understanding. Even if a person could not feel what he felt, their emotions were complex, different and strange, but still there.

Different.

“I don’t know,” He admitted hoarsely, “I’ve spent so much time not wanting to see this or think about it, that seeing it like this, seeing people just moving on so easily, it makes me feel like maybe I can do it to. It isn’t so bad. I still got a lot of life to live and,”

Yuuji took a deep breath, finally stepping back to look up at Sukuna and into those blue eyes, offering a smile, tired, but finally no longer feeling strange and false on his face, “Maybe I want to live a good life before I have to die too. So when I look back, I can say I had a pretty good life,”

Sukuna chuckled, two hands coming up to cup Yuuji’s face as he leaned in, those four blue eyes narrowed, soft, and with a hint of relief in them, “Now that is my feisty little tiger cub, come back to me,”

It felt so strange to kiss Sukuna above the slowly rising skeleton of the new Shibuya. The last time he stood here with the curse, all there was was the curse’s vicious laughter and words looking to guilt Yuuji and see him break. The kiss was gentle, warm, and a memory that just slid into place to start to lesson the pain and blur the trauma of Shibuya further.

The memories of Shibuya would never completely fade away. The trauma of that day would forever be with Yuuji, but he decided that even if he carried it, he wouldn’t let it haunt him like some horrid ghost, hungry for his sorrow. He would honor it. He would remember it. He would let go of it as quickly as it came, letting that specter turn into nothing but butterflies in the wind like those found in the meadows around Sukuna’s estate. Small broken fragments, made colorful in a brighter day, and allowed to whisper into the wind, free, and no longer contained in the cage of Yuuji’s chest.

Free.

He pulled away from the kiss to take in a soft breath, that smile now back on his face where for so long it had been gone. It almost made his cheeks sore as he remembered how to do it again.

“Thank you,”

“Don’t thank me, brat. You did this on your own, did you not? You came back from the past, came here when I asked,” Sukuna tilted his head, “I only said you should, but you took the suggestion well,”

“Yeah, but if I didn’t you said you already planned to drag me back,” He said with a teasing smile.

The past incarnation of Sukuna chuckled, “True, but that doesn’t mean it would have helped any if I forced it, now would it?”

Yuuji mused over his words a moment before looking out over Shibuya again, a faint smile on his lips, “Maybe not,”

Maybe he would have thought the Sukuna of the past the same as the present, both brutal. They were the same in so many regards though. The same complexity he had attested his own morals to and his own emotional reactions to. They were different though, past and present, different from what Yuuji wanted and different from each other, yet that was expected.

Places changed. People changed. And Sukuna…

“I think though, I would rather go somewhere else,” Yuuji said softly, “Construction work and dust might be of interest to you, but it messes with my sinuses and I would rather not spend the rest of the day with allergies when I could spend it with you doing something else,”

“Hoh? And what is it you want to do now brat?” Sukuna asked with a smirk, “You seem to be a real glutton for all the time I have in this age,”

Yuuji tilted his head in thought, thinking of all the things he wanted to show the past Sukuna, all while now being more aware of the other one, the Sukuna in his soul, lurking just under the surface, watching all this with a bitter tremor to him.

“You know, I’ve never actually been to Tokyo Disneyland,” Yuuji said with a smile, “And at night, I’ve heard they have some awesome firework show we could watch, for old time’s sake, right?”

That earned a chuckle from Sukuna as he nodded, “Then lead the way once more. I will admit, I am looking forward to seeing what the fireworks of this age even look like,”

“Far more impressive than yours,” Yuuji said, moving to take the past Sukuna’s hand in his own, giving a squeeze.

He didn’t look back this time, not back to Shibuya. The place would grow and change without him there. Maybe he would see about volunteering to help. Maybe he would find charities he could work with to help the victims. There were things he could do, ways he could help that weren’t punishing himself. He could finally learn to let go.

It was time to move on and the next time he looked at Shibuya, it would be something unrecognizable and different.

Healed into something new, just like he would heal into someone new.

It was just time to move on and Yuuji felt lighter as he held Sukuna’s hand and left the place, heading back to the car where Ijichi stood and off to their next destination.

There was a weight gone from Yuuji’s shoulders when they finally arrived at the park. His grandfather had always said they would go eventually, but time and money never seemed to line up and Yuuji had only ever dreamed of coming here. Even when he finally moved to Tokyo, there just hadn’t been the free time for him, Nobara, and Megumi to actually get here and there was a pang in his chest as he regretted that, but such things had been out of his control. Now he passed through those gates hand in hand with someone else but just as important to him.

Yuuji let himself smile freely now and he found himself unable to stop chatting, maybe earning a few looks shot his way for being noisy like a monkey in a tree, as Sukuna put it. Yuuji found he couldn’t care less. He was back in the past, rambling along the manor after Sukuna with some new idea for a hobby. Once more the king of curses, with sighs and rolls of the eye was following his steps to go on whatever venture had captured Yuuji’s attention. It was almost comical for Sukuna to stare up at the gaudy western style castle that dominated the horizon, giving Yuuji side-eyes as if he was certain this was where he wanted to go. Yuuji just grinned, holding tight onto his hand as he pulled him towards the entrance.

“It will be fun!” Was what he told Sukuna, all but vibrating at the chance to enter what was suppose to be one of the happiest places on earth.

Maybe not the happiest, but it was somewhere he could show Sukuna more of the stranger side of this chaotic modern age.

Especially as there was something to be said for watching the king of curses side-eyed the giant costumed characters with a skeptical look as Yuuji rushed up to all of them, wanting as many pictures as possible. There was a reason Yuuji had bought the photo pass after all. He wanted to remember this time with the past Sukuna, to keep those memories alive in a more physical way. So he pulled the disgruntled curse into as many pictures as possible and despite the moody look he wore, he was smiling in each photo. Maybe he didn’t feel the same things Yuuji did, but it didn’t matter. He was here with him. He wanted to be here with him.

At any moment he could have left but he didn’t. Even when he ended up getting motion sickness on the spinning tea cups.

“I didn’t know the greatest sorcerer in the world could get motion sickness,” Yuuji teased as he rubbed Sukuna’s back.

The king of curses just shot him a look from where he sat, a half-hearted glare on his face, “Shut it brat. I wasn’t in the business of being violently spun around for fun, like you apparently enjoy,”

“Training with Panda has prepared me for that,” Yuuji joked before moving to carefully affix a mouse-eared hat to Sukuna’s head, “But no frowns allowed here! Only smiles!”

“Is that why you’ve been beaming like the sun this whole time?”

Yuuji chuckled at that, “No, that is because you are here. Just like we are in the past, just the two of us, no worries to have, and you indulging me again. I won’t have a reason to go back now,”

That brought a small smile to Sukuna’s face and he lifted a hand to ruffle his hair, “Good, that will have me more at ease,”

The answer was a bit cryptic, a slight flicker of something in Sukuna’s expression that could have been soft. Sad. It had something in Yuuji squirm with worry and he found himself moving to take his hand again, tugging him to his feet, “Well, plenty more to see before it is time for fireworks, let’s not waste time, right?”

Sukuna chuckled, “Right,”

It felt like something was being unsaid between them as they passed the rest of the day away. Yuuji could feel the trickle of unease up his spine, even as he smiled and had the first real bit of fun in the modern age in a long time. There was something that wasn’t being said out loud as they went about the day and the sun began to set into the night. Despite the smiles and relief, the warmth in Yuuji’s chest, there was something hollow and painful settling as some part of him wondered if this could actually last. What would be wrong with the past Sukuna staying here?

What if he stayed with Yuuji this time?

That thought was one Yuuji didn’t really voice as he looked out over the water of Tokyo bay and watched the large ships come and go with smaller ones darting about. The air was cool and balmy, although touched with chilled fingers as the ocean breeze began to blow out to sea. Above, the night sky was a blanket of black and tinged yellow grey, the stars lost behind the lights of the city. The two of them had left the part, opting more for the relative calm of the trails less traveled in evening with less people around. It was quiet where they were, still in a way that reminded Yuuji of the quiet of the manor in so many ways.

“It seems so strange to not be able to see the sky now,” Sukuna grumbled, “The lights of this modern age feel too bright,”

“Yeah. Sometimes I wish they could turn it all off for a bit,” Yuuji said as he leaned against the railing, eyes on the sky as they waited for the fireworks to go off, “I always did wonder if we really needed all the lights on at all times? Maybe we do, but never really asked or looked it up,”

Sukuna gave a dismissive hum in response, leaned against the railing himself, frowning a touch, “Most people are probably not comfortable with such an all encompassing darkness,”

“Always light in that though, right? It isn’t like we are trapped in a cave,” Yuuji gave a glance over to Sukuna, pursing his lips before looking out over the water, “No one is around where we are here. Kind of feels weird to see you without your tattoos and eyes,”

Sukuna gave a chuckle, cocking an eyebrow as he opened his bottom pair of eyes, letting the black lines of his tattoos return, “Hoh? Fond of those, are we?”

“You don’t look yourself without them,” Yuuji admitted, flushing a touch, “And maybe I got a kink for assholes who look kind of monstrous, so what?”

That only had the past Sukuna laughing while the one inside Yuuji seemed to bristle, no doubt holding back bitter words to avoid the gaze of his other self. That, at least, was the reason Yuuji surmised for why the present Sukuna had remained very quiet throughout all of this. He could feel him though, lurking like a shadow at the back of his every thoughts, almost like he would turn around and he would be standing with them, like someone watching from afar everything going on.

Like a soul in its own purgatory, not quiet understanding, but feeling, the gentle flow of life passing by without being able to touch it.

The sound of a screeching firework launching into the air caused Yuuji’s mind to snap back to the present, his eyes wide as the trail of fire arched higher into the sky, only to burst into a colorful display above. Yuuji couldn’t help a smile as he watched the past Sukuna jump a bit like a spooked cat, all four eyes widening as more fireworks launched skyward, erupting in hundreds of different colors. Some of the blasts were so huge, it felt to Yuuji like they were going to come down on them, dropping out of the sky like huge rains of fire. There were a few in shapes, in colors that faded to new colors, or even ones that exploded then exploded again into smaller eruptions. They were both silent, watching the dazzling display. Yuuji couldn’t help a small smile, pulling one of Sukuna’s hand into his own, his fingers idly threading into his own and bringing the hand to his chest as a strange comfort. One of the four eyes glanced his way, a touch of a smile on his lips and a chuckle before another arm wrapped about Yuuji, pulling him close.

They stood together as the sky erupted in burning stars, coloring the darkness and filling it with the loud bangs like thunder that drowned out all other thoughts. The fireworks burst, ramping up to a huge finale where the ground itself seemed to light up with how many were being launched upwards. With the final bursts, a final red firework drifting away until only the outlines of the wispy clouds remained, Yuuji gave a small chuckle, glancing to Sukuna.

“Startled you a bit, eh?”

“I was not expecting them to be so large or loud,” Sukuna said with a small sniff, trying to look the picture of collective calm, “They are far better than what the pitiful emperor had in his city though,”

“Some things get better with age,” Yuuji said with a shrug and smile, “Guess fireworks were one of them,”

Sukuna gave a nod, “Some things do,” he murmured softly.

The past Sukuna paused though, brow knitted a moment in thought before he straightened himself up, drawing away from Yuuji. The move caused Yuuji to glance over him, a touch concerned as he straightened up as well, “Sukuna?”

“Could I ask you a rather personal request, Yuuji?”

There it was again, the use of his name rather than a nickname. It sent a pang of unease through Yuuji although he tried to laugh it off with a smile, “As long as you aren’t going to ask me to kill someone,”

“I want to speak to myself, the me that lives in your soul,” The past Sukuna said, eyes narrowing a touch as he looked over his shoulder, “I want to speak to him, face to face,”

The request had Yuuji going rigid, his hands tightening into fists at his side at the very thought. He felt the curse inside of him pull away, like an animal that was shrinking away from the gaze of an angry owner, “What? Why?”

“There are a few things I want to make clear with him,” the past Sukuna said with a small shrug, “I vow that I will not let him cause any damage. He will never leave this place. An attempt to go against that and I will not hesitate to put him in his place,”

Yuuji worried his lip. He was tensed, unsure, but he knew well what a vow meant among sorcerers. Still, he couldn’t fathom what one Sukuna could say to the other, or that it wouldn’t end in violence. The present Sukuna, after all, was a bloodthirsty thing, unfeeling, uncaring, and Yuuji doubted he would simply want to listen to anything his past self had to say. The risk of an incident was so high.

“Not here,” Yuuji managed out, voice hoarse, “I can’t risk him being out around any sort of people,” he managed out, “He’ll-”

“He’ll do nothing,” the past Sukuna said, “the difference in our power is well known and I know how to deal with myself better than anyone,”

There was a smirk on his lips, those blue eyes glinting with a disdainful malice that reminded Yuuji of the person he would become in a thousand years time. A confident, arrogance, laced with the power and scorn to make his will felt. Yuuji could almost imagine him sitting upon a throne of skulls, leering down at anyone who dared to look up at him.

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, “Fine, but just promise that...that no one will die,”

“No one will die. Nothing will be destroyed,” the past Sukuna assured, “There will not be another Shibuya. I only want to talk,”

Yuuji nodded, taking in a deep breath, eyes still closed, “Okay,” he offered a small smile as he looked up, opening his eyes to look at the past Sukuna, looking tired, but at ease, “I’ll trust you, Sukuna,”

Yuuji took one last breath, letting his head fall back, let his soul fall back, relinquishing control to that savage thing in his soul. He felt the curse trying to move away as if for the first time, he was being dragged to the surface when he didn’t care to be. That strange sensation had Yuuji frowning for a moment, wondering why, before he no longer was there.

Yuuji was no longer present in the cold air in that park near the bay. The black lines of tattoos curled over his face and cheeks, a second pair of eyes opened and he lowered his head, red eyes fixing the figure across him with an air of contempt, feral and tensed.

Completely expectant of what to come.

The moment the present king of curses emerged, his doppelganger from the past was on him, one hand about his throat and slamming him hard up against the wall of the nearby boat rental that was dark and empty that time of night. There was no one around, nothing save the signs of life passing in the distance and the glow of the city lights. In the darkness, they stood, eye to eye. The past incarnation of the king of curses tightened his grip upon his present self’s neck a look of savage loathing on his face, his expression just as animistic and hateful.

“Really I should end your pathetic existence right now,” the past curse spat, blue eyes practically glowing with animosity, “Peel your wretched soul off of him like a leech and rip you apart,”

The present version grimaced as he clutched at that unrelenting forearm, but made no effort to free himself. He swallowed hard, working to get a breath into his lungs as he choked out a sneer, “And what is stopping you, hmm?”

“Because then I would be the biggest hypocrite alive to tell the brat to not destroy himself and then turn around and kill you,” the past Sukuna growled, his grip tightened, “And I promised him no one dies, which I suppose still extends to your pathetic carcass,”

The hand tightened before he let go. The present Sukuna dropped to the ground, not even attempting to keep standing. He rubbed at his neck from where he sat, letting reverse technique wash away the bruises there as he glanced away, sneering, “How gracious of you,” he spat, “Sparing me, pitying me,”

“The brat pities you, I do not,” the four-armed sorcerer responded coolly, “I expected at least some fight from you,”

That earned a bitter laugh as four eyes rolled up to meet blue ones, “What is the point of it? I would fight you as a means to die, but you have already made clear you would never grant such an end to me,” four red eyes dropped to the ground, “And what is there to even fight over? The brat’s affections? Heh, that is a battle you won the moment he dropped into the past,”

A bitter, broken laugh escaped the present one as he ran a hand through his hair, eyes fixed on the ground, “Really, it is us who should switch bodies. I go back to the past and you say here with the brat. That is what he wants. He has made that clear this entire day how he wants you here. That you are so damn wanted in his life and I’m not even a thing to give a passing thought to,”

The past king gave a derisive sneer, crouching down to grasp his present self by the back of the hoodie he wore, his grip tight and unyielding, “You are sounding as foolish as the brat now,” he growled, “You and I both know that such a thing couldn’t work anyways. We know how this has to end,”

There was a long moment of silent, red eyes not meeting the icy blue of his past as he stared off, “I know,”

The past self scowled, eyes narrowed as he pulled the curse he would become to his feet, “You are as broken as he was,”

“The brat let you ease into everything, was dainty and delicate while holding your hands, letting you follow him,” the present sneered, eyes flicking towards him, “All I have are the sudden memories of it all and nothing but his contempt. You don’t know how I have suffered having to see what could have been-”

“And who’s fault is that?” the grip on the hoodie tensed as blue eyes narrowed, “It was not like the brat wasn’t always more than willing to give you everything if you asked. Why did you hate him?”

“I was trapped inside him-”

“And you look even more foolish if your reasons for hate are as surface level as that. As pathetic as the fools who have hated us all our lives,”

Both incarnations fell silent. Red eyes closed, the present’s body going more relaxed, more tired, “There isn’t any excuse,” he conceded quietly.

“No, there isn’t. And there never will be. It is in our nature to destroy everything we touch in the end. That is what we’ve always been told,”

The four-armed sorcerer let go then, taking a step back and looking out over the harbor, the water dark now in the night with only the glint of light on the surface to give form to it in the darkness. Four blue eyes closed as he crossed his arms over his chest, “Yuuji is never going to come back to the past. I’m going to make sure of it. I cannot bare to see him in such a state, broken and dying while I can do nothing. I want nothing more than to keep him close, to embrace him until I’ve used up every bit of his smile, but,”

There was a moment of tension, anger, in the face of the past king as he opened his eyes. A possessive, jealous sort of thing that had all four hands clenching tight into fists as he stood there, looking out over the water. Then a quiet thing, a soft sigh falling from his lips as he shook his head, looking to his present self, “I cannot be a part of his life as I am now. I will go back to the past and severe the connection for good so he stays where he suppose to be. So it falls to you to be the one that must be there for him now,”

“You and I both know that is a poor idea,” the present said softly, glancing away, “I do not know how to help him and he will never accept me as anything more than a monster,”

“I’ve helped him today and he cares for me, so you cannot use that excuse. Deep down inside, you know what you need to do,” The past Sukuna turned to the present, his expression worn, aged by years, “And I’ll know your pain in the years to follow, empty of his sunlight, wishing I had been selfish and kept him close. It will soon be our shared pain,”

Both were silent then, the present turning to look out over the water, his expression just as tired as he let out a quiet, humorless laugh, “How pathetic are the both of us for being selfless for something as ungrateful as love,”

“Love is a curse, as it always has been, especially the one of unrequited love,” The past Sukuna followed his present form’s gaze out to sea, “Do you want to destroy him now? To see him break?”

“It won’t do anything to stop feeling something for him,” the present one said dully, “How pitiful that I yearn for the most simple of things from the brat, that no matter how much I tell myself I feel nothing, he still manages to prove me wrong. It is so idiotic,” He lifted a hand to clench over where his heart, Yuuji’s heart was, feeling it beat harder, knowing so painfully well, it was his own that now beat with such pain, “I don’t want to feel anything. I did not want to feel any of this, but he always forces me to feel,”

“But now you do. Now we will,” The past Sukuna’s eyes narrowed and he stepped forward, his present version shrinking away under the intensity of his gaze, “And that means we will always be there for him, even if it means he doesn’t love us. Even if he falls for another and goes on to live a happy life while we remain a shadow of a memory,”

He leaned forward, inches away from his other self, the two of them nearly one once more, two parts of the same soul, two views of the same love, finally starting to meld, “We will forever love him, even if he will never love us again. If goes unrequited from now until eternity, he’s ours to guard,”

“Such selfless remarks,” the present Sukuna said with a bitter laugh, “When have we ever been selfless in our pursuits of our own pleasure?”

“When everything stopped giving us pleasure and left us with nothing to feel,” The past said, eyes narrowing, “Do you really want to go back to that endless apathy and boredom where we merely exist, waiting for death? Just passing time in hopes that someone will end us because not even the carnage makes us feel anymore?”

A sneer tugged on the past king of curse’s lips, “Did you really feel anything at Shibuya, or did you just feel something through the pain of the brat because he feels so much for everything in this damn world?”

The present Sukuna flinched, teeth bared before his gaze dropped. There was no point in lying. Those weren’t questions being asked, not for them. Not when they shared the same soul, stretching from the past into the present with the memories of someone that held both their hearts together without even knowing it.

“We will make a vow to ensure that Yuuji can live his life as he wishes, with all its happiness and pain,” The past Sukuna stepped back, a frown on his lips, but a gleam of something more than a dull disinterest in his eyes, “Even if in the end, his love for me fades, vow it,”

“Yuuji’s happiness is more important than our own if only because he can still feel that happiness,” the present Sukuna said dully, a humorless smile on his lips, “But at least we will feel something through the life he will live,”

A quiet laugh erupted from him a she turned to look out at the bay, at the lights against the water, “In the end, I’ll have only dull memories that I never actually got to experience fully to remember his love by. How pathetic. As if memories can bring any comfort when everything is lost again,”

“We both will, but perhaps he may see something of me in you still,” The past smirked a touch, although it was touched with its own sorrow, “I want to see him though, before I leave. One last time,”

The present Sukuna glanced to him with a small snort, a smirk on his lips, “It is hard not to be petty and tell you to piss off and not let you see him, but… the brat would not forgive me that,” he closed his eyes with a sigh, “Being selfless is such a horrid hassle,”

There was a moment of silence in that still air, two parts of the same soul still there for a moment.

Then Yuuji emerged, coming out of that strange dreamlike state that came over him when he and Sukuna exchanged control of his body. He blinked for a moment before quickly looking around to make sure nothing was destroyed. Relief was in him as he let out a sigh, although he gave a curious glance over to the four-armed Sukuna of the past.

“So uh, what did you two talk about?”

Sukuna regarded him silently, a softness to his features tinged with a sadness he did nothing to hide. There was no reason to hide anything now. Yuuji blinked, concern filling his honey-colored eyes, “Sukuna? What’s wrong?”

There was no answer from the king of curses. No words given. Instead he crossed over to Yuuji. Two hands rose up to cup Yuuji’s face, those four eyes staring into his face, as if he was trying to remember every detail of Yuuji in that moment with a soft smile on his lips. Then he leaned in, giving that final kiss.

It was deep, passionate as the king bore his soul fully, trying so desperately to let everything be felt from the past to present, in that embrace. Yuuji felt his breath stolen away, unable to do anything but close his eyes and cling back. His soul felt so warm, protected, and content. There was no more a Shibuya hanging over him nor a fear of what was to come. There was bravery and conviction in his soul. The curse, the man who had destroyed so much gave it back in that kiss.

Gave everything back he had taken and expected nothing in return. Yuuji trembled under it, feeling his heart thunder against his chest. Eventually though, like all things, the kiss had to end. The need to breath had Yuuji gasping as he shyly pulled away, eyes fluttering open to look up into the face of the man before him.

For the first time, he could see the man Ryoumen Sukuna had always been, could have been, the emotions, so long dead, bared for the first time in so long. The walls were gone, leaving nothing between them and seeing such vulnerability made Yuuji feel a lump form in his throat, knowing something had to be wrong.

It felt like he was standing on the edge of a final goodbye. He could feel that panic and sadness rising into his expression, swimming in his own eyes as he saw Sukuna’s expression soften. He was so easy to read now.

Too terribly easy to read.

“What’s wrong Yuuji?”

Yuuji let out a quiet laugh, “It is never a good thing when you use my name,” he managed to say, his smile wobbling on his face as he took one of Sukuna’s hands in his own, “I feel like you are telling me goodbye is all,”

A quiet laugh escaped the king of curses, “Goodbye?” he paused, raising a hand to brush knuckles against Yuuji’s cheeks, “If this is goodbye, that is entirely up to you,” Sukuna said softly, “The rest of this story is yours to write,”

Yuuji swallowed hard, clutching at the hand he held, “Do you really have to go?”

“This isn’t my time to be, not like I am now,” Sukuna repsonded, “And I think I am content now to leave knowing you have the strength now to carry on,”

“What if I stumble again though?” Yuuji managed out, “What then?”

“You won’t. My tiger cub stumbles once and then he gets back up, chasing after the damn horse to get back on,” Sukuna said with a chuckle, “He fails miserably at everything he does, and yet never gives up. He smiles and laughs, and finds joy in it all,”

Yuuji could feel the tears brimming in his eyes as he smiled, leaning into that touch to his cheek, “That’s only because I have someone else to chase who doesn’t mind being ridiculous with me,”

“And you’ll find someone else. You’ll live a full, long life surrounded by all those you’ve touched,” Sukuna said softly, “No matter how many might be lost along the way, no matter how others will seek to tear you down and rip you apart, you’ll always find more,”

“Not without you,”

The words were choked out as he clung to the Sukuna before him, not stopping the tears falling down his cheeks, “I need you, always,”

“And I’m always there, one way or another,” He leaned in, planting a gentle kiss to Yuuji’s forehead.

Yuuji swallowed hard, clinging to him, even as he felt his fingers tarting to go through Sukuna. His eyes widened, panic setting in as he looked up. Sukuna just smiled as his form started to flit away, as if he was made of a thousand fragments, starting to break and vanish.

“N-no! Please, just-”

“Brat, stop looking at me like that,” the fading king of curses said, that smirk on his lips, a softness in his eyes, “Hold your head up a little higher would you? When have you ever been afraid of what is to come?”

“Sukuna-”

The king of curses gave a final chuckle, holding out a hand to Yuuji, although it was already fading away,“Don’t spoil how this story ends brat. Just write a good ending, a better one for us,”

Yuuji reached for that hand, feeling his finger tips brush, for a moment, against something real, something corporeal, and then it was all gone.

He stood there alone, the memories of that final kiss upon his lips. That forceful, selfish thing forced from him, that he gave without question. His heart trembled as he stood in the dark for a long time, feeling his breath come out in short pants and the tears continue to fall down his cheeks. He turned then, feeling almost lost as he stared out over the water, over the ships moving like silent creatures over the water, their blinking lights the only indicator they existed and the gentle wash of waves created in their wake. The soft chatter of night insects filled the night, lazy and familiar.

Yuuji stood alone, his heart aching, and yet he smiled. He raised an arm to wipe at his eyes a few times, taking a steadying breath before he took out his phone, and made a call.

“Yuuji?” the familiar voice of Shoko was on the other end, tired and filled with worry.

“He’s gone,” Yuuji said softly, “And I kind of need a ride back to the school,” he paused, the smile on his lips genuine, if sad, “back home,”

There was a pause before Shoko spoke again, her own voice soft, “Yeah, sure. Just tell me where. I’ll come pick you up. Don’t think I can sleep much anyways,”

“Rough day?”

“Yeah, but you get use to the rough days and appreciate the good ones, right?”

Yuuji gave a quiet laugh at that, his shoulders relaxing as he leaned back against the railing, “Right,” again he paused a moment before he spoke again, “I think I’ll be having more good ones now though,”

“I’m glad. Hasn’t been the same without seeing your smile around,” Shoko said, “Hey, why don’t we get some fast food on the way back, if you’re hungry,”

“Famished honestly. Even though I’ve been eating like a pig all day,” Yuuji said with a small laugh, “Guess I’m still recovering. Uh, think we could also get stuff for the others? I don’t know if they are awake, but, hey, maybe Megumi will appreciate me waking him up to shove a hamburger in his face?”

“I actually think he might cry if you did and hug you,” Shoko said with a laugh of her own, “So yeah, let’s do it. A whole giant bag of fast food for all,”

“Sounds good, I’ll text you where I am,” Yuuji said.

Again he paused, worrying his lip before closing his eyes with a soft sigh, “Thanks for sticking by me. I know I haven’t made...things easy,”

“Yuuji, I had to grow up with Gojo and he never made things easy for me or anyone,” Shoko shushed softly, “You don’t have to apologize for anything. We are all human after all, dealing with shit, and trying to keep it all inside. I’m just glad to have you back,”

“I’m glad to finally be back,” Yuuji smiled, looking out over the water, “See you soon,”

“See you in a bit,”

The phone call ended and Yuuji texted his location to Shoko before he pocketed his phone and leaned against the railing to look out over the dark water. There was something gentle about it now. A new calm that settled on his shoulders despite the ache in his chest as he turned over those final words Sukuna had said.

“Don’t spoil how this story ends,”

It made Yuuji remember how Sukuna had never cared about having the ending of stories spoiled before because he never cared about the characters or how everything was going to end. But now, maybe…

Yuuji smiled, closing his eyes, letting the breeze rush over his face. His thoughts weren’t on the ache in his chest or on Shibuya or on the people he had lost. Those were now his memories, things that would grow fuzzy until only the best parts remained. The important parts.

Instead, for the first time, he turned his thoughts to the future as he looked out over the bay to the glitter of Tokyo.

He wondered just what kind of story he would write and what kind of ending it would have. A smile touched Yuuji’s lips, soft, hurting, but content.

It would be a good ending, just like in all the stories he liked. An ending that maybe would hurt a little, but it would leave the future open for everyone else to keep writing a better and better ending. One where he could pass the pen along, one that held all the hope, all the will, and all the potential he could impart.

“I guess I can’t ever spoil the ending if I don’t know what it is, right?” Yuuji said softly to the air, “I just hope I can write you back into the story,”

The wind answered, soft and cool. Yuuji imagined Sukuna would like that ending best. One that never came and all they had was the pleasure of the worlds to enjoy, together. Forever.

Yuuji smiled as he pushed away from the railing and moved to the parking lot to wait for Shoko with that comforting thought held close to his heart. Held close there by someone else who had heard him as well.

Maybe his ending would not be the happily ever after he wished for, but it would be the vague sort that never ended his story completely and for the first time in a long while, Yuuji was fine with that.

Fine with that, and finally feeling strong enough to move forward on wobbly legs towards the future.

Chapter Text

The wisteria were late to bloom this year according to Megumi. They tended to bloom earlier in spring, but for some reason, the ones around Jujutsu Tech had decided to be shy this year and keep their buds closed longer than usual. Yuuji sat in the small garden tucked away from prying eyes on campus and let his eyes trail over the beautiful flowers and how the sunlight seemed to drip off the purple petals.

They were a symbol of longevity and luck according to Megumi. A mysterious and beautiful flower that was admired the world over. It was also a symbol of love and devotion that hung over the earth in delicate waves. Yuuji was reminded of the wild ones he had seen around Sukuna’s manor up in the mountains. There, they had been unruly things, clinging about other trees and looking like the wild bed head of some powerful ancient spirit that meandered the wilds as they pleased. The ones in the garden were not as impressive, well kept and manicured liked demure ladies in waiting, but still beautiful.

The late blooms made them stand out as they did not have to compete then with the cherry blossoms or plums that had already burst into bloom and faded to their cozy green. To Yuuji, it felt like they had waited to be seen for a reason.

Maybe he was just being sentimental that somehow it was something from the past being sent along to him, a gentle reminder of feelings that were still so heavy in Yuuji’s chest even after it has been a month since he had seen the past. The dreams didn’t come anymore now. Yuuji fell asleep and woke up always in the present and in his room. He watched the sunrises play against the walls and ceiling, turning dull white into an array of subtle colors and would head out to meet up with others. The mornings were spent in the company of Megumi on most days, the two of them finding hobbies to keep them occupied in this weird limbo that was growing out of Shibuya. He hung out and trained with Maki. He went out and about with Choso, the two of them trying out being brothers in the little habits that siblings usually had a lifetime to develop.

Life was moving on, maybe at a sluggish, uncertain pace, but it was moving on at last.

Yuuji leaned back against the tree he was sitting under and let his gaze linger on the curtain of wisteria he sat within, watching the little blossoms dance in the balmy breeze. He could hear the sound of wind chimes off in the distance as well as the murmurs of life in the form of other sorcerers coming and going across campus, marked only by the snippets of conversation that drifted into the garden. There was the loud cries of cicadas coming from higher up in the tree and the chortle of lark song as they busied themselves with nest building.

All around there was sounds of life and sweet memories that had Yuuji smiling a bit.

Life was moving on, and despite how there was a hole of ache in his heart, a longing for a gentle touch and the deep voice of someone who was both his destruction and salvation, Yuuji could find it in himself to be content.

He could miss Sukuna terribly while understanding just how terrible he was. The king of curses was a monster, but also showed so painfully that he could change lives in ways that were beautiful. He was like a forest fire Yuuji supposed, destructive and devastating, but part of the whole world. It had been one month since the past Sukuna had left and also one month since Yuuji had even heard or felt the curse inside of him. At times it felt like he had lost both that day. The silence felt strange to Yuuji after so long of having Sukuna’s voice at the back of his mind, even if most of the time all the curse did was spit vile venom. Maybe there was something wrong in him for missing that voice, even when it was caustic.

Maybe that voice was all he had left to keep the memories of his time in the past sharp and not start to grow fuzzy around the edges. They, much like Shibuya, were starting to linger less, breaking away to a few moments, leaving only fragments to turn over when he felt his mood grow distant and forlorn. There was no reason for Sukuna’s silence in the present, or there could be but Yuuji didn’t understand it, but he wasn’t sure what even to do. He had spoke out lout a few times but those times were always out loud to himself as there wasn’t an answer.

The only thing that lingered of Sukuna was the feel of his presence, like being aware of someone else in a home, but unable to find them. Like a ghost that person had left in places they had always been, alive, but not there. It made Yuuji think of how when his grandfather was at work and he was left alone, it always felt like the old man was there and sometimes Yuuji found himself calling out as if he would respond before remembering with embarrassment he was still at work. That same feeling was in Yuuji now when it came to Sukuna, like the modern one had vanished away now too, leaving little behind.

A sigh fell from Yuuji’s lips as he moved to rouse himself from where he laid as he felt his phone buzz and seeing Megumi’s number pass over the screen. He gave a faint smile before swiping to answer.

“Hey Megumi,”

“Yuuji, you busy today?”

The shadow users tone was hesitant, but polite, as if he wasn’t sure of what to say. As awkward as ever and it had Yuuji smiling a bit and giving a small shrug, “Not really no. Got something in mind?”

“Maki and Yuta are going out to a place and invited me and I asked if I could invite you,” Megumi explained, pausing a moment before speaking again, his voice soft, “Also the spring collection for clothing is out, and, well, I’m sure Nobara would have dragged us out to see it, so maybe we should..,”

He trailed off but Yuuji knew what he was asking. There was still the pain of that hole in their lives where once the bright smile of a friend remained. It was still painful, but at the same time, she would be so upset for both of them sulking over her. She also would probably demand them to go out shopping in her honor during the spring sales that brought in the new fashion collections.

Yuuji couldn’t help a small smile at that, “Sounds good to me. I think we both need to brighten up our wardrobe a bit, right?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Megumi gave a quiet laugh, “Maybe it would help to get something other than the school uniform,”

“Then I’ll see you soon? Can meet up at the school gate?” Yuuji asked as he rose to his feet, stretching out some.

“that sounds good. I’ll be there soon,”

The call ended and Yuuji allowed himself to smile. Megumi and him had been doing more things together, getting out, trying to find some semblance of normal life. It felt good to be more casual with his friend and not let everything that happened hang over them. It felt good to be able to honor the memories of those that were lost rather than just mourn all the tragedy that clung to everything. Yuuji gave a final glance over the wisteria that had bloomed late, reaching out to pluck one of the flowers and lift it up. He inhaled as he closed his eyes, and pretended for a moment he was a thousand years in the past, lost among wild mountain meadows with the same scent on the wind and the warmth of arms about him.

He could imagine that, even if he couldn’t seem to go back to it. The memory was warm still inside him. Yuuji smiled and let the flower go to the wind, opening his eyes to watch it dance away until it was lost in the blue of the sky above. He turned away then, and started to jogtowards the school gate, once more moving forward in the present, and more than happy to continue to press on no matter what would be thrown before him.

It didn’t take long for Yuuji to meet Megumi at the gate and soon the two of them were off and away from the school and down into the sprawl of Tokyo once more. Neither of them said much, but it was a more companionable silence as Megumi was never one to talk much and Yuuji found it hard to know what to say at times. He could chat about casual things, commenting on the weather and music, and unlike before, Megumi would follow along, adding his own thoughts here and there. He was hurting, but Yuuji was doing his best to use the lessons the past king of curses had taught him to help Megumi. He couldn’t just tell his friend to be happy no sooner than he could tell himself that. There had to be time to process the grief.

Both of them were stumbling forward, slowly healing past the trauma, growing around it into something stronger.

The two of them entered into the small restaurant that Maki and Yuta were at, a little hole in the wall place that specialized in Sichuan style hot pot. Yuuji’s eyes were wide as a huge boiling soup broth was put at the center of the table before them over a small flame, and just piles of meat and vegetables were dumped into it to cook.

“You sure we can afford this?” Yuuji squeaked out, “That is some expensive looking beef going into this!”

“As the new head of the Zen’in clan with full access to the bank accounts, and being one of only two members, I say we can splurge,” Megumi said with a faint smile.

Maki chuckled, “Probably the only good thing so far the family money has been put towards,”

Yuta offered a small smile, stirring the ladle into the hot pot to make sure the added ingredients stirred together well, “Think we all can use a little indulging after all that has happened so far,” He murmured, “Although, I heard this is a rather spicy dish,”

“Oh?” Megumi cocked an eyebrow, “Spicy how?”

“Spicy like Kusakabe says when he eats here, his allergies are cured as the spice level blows out his sinuses,” Maki said with a teasing grin.

Yuuji let out a laugh at that, “Well, we’ll see about that! I like spicy food and there are few things that can give me pause!”

“Just don’t overdo it, Itadori. We don’t want you back in the hospital in a coma for spice,” Maki teased lightly, “We just got you back, we don’t want to lose you again already,”

Yuuji couldn’t help a smile at that, ducking his head, “I won’t be in the hospital again, you can count on that,” he said as he picked up his chopsticks, “Nothing can stop me now!”

It was nice to socialize with Maki and Yuta again. With all that had happen, Yuuji had come to see that there had been no harm meant before with Maki. There was anger and stress over her own losses and he had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong words to say. She was trying to apologize in her own ways a hundred times over since he awoke. Same with Megumi. Same with Yuta. It was easy to forgive them. The smiles they all wore as they indulge in a sense of normalcy over a nice luncheon was as welcomed as the fresh breeze through the mountains that Yuuji had come to enjoy when he went to the past.

Yuuji found himself laughing and sharing in jokes all throughout their shared meal, unable to keep his smile from blooming on his face. He even wore a smile for the first time as he and Megumi shuffled off into the malls of Tokyo. He could just imagine Nobara being there to drag both of them along by the sleeves, eager to get into every store and have them play dress up with her own peculiar sense of fashion and whatever new line of clothes had come up. Now alone in the sea of clothes, Megumi and Yuuji shared glances here and there as they just picked out things more on a whim than any keen eye for actual fashion. Neither of them were ever very good at clothes shopping. That had always been Nobara’s forte. It was like she could smell a bargain from a mile away in the exact color and size that would look fetching on them. Still Yuuji and Megumi did their best to power through and get some new fashionable clothes.

Staring at himself in the changing room mirror, Yuuji worried his lip as he turned side to side in the shirt and shorts he was trying on. The shirt was a more blousey thing in a bright white with a sunflower pattern on it. Not something particular masculine, but Yuuji had thought it something cute Nobara would have forced him to try on. The shorts that went with it were at least long enough that he didn’t feel like they were trying to vanish into his ass like some of the shorts he had tried on earlier, and the pale tan color matched the top nicely he guessed.

He sighed, turning from side to side again, twisting and squirming as he tried to decide if he liked it or not, “I don’t know if yellow is really my color. Kind of clashes with my hair,” he grumbled out loud to no one in particular and certainly not expecting any answer, “I don’t think yellow is my color,”

“The yellow is more subtle and compliments you well. It has always been a color you seemed inclined to do well in,”

Yuuji jumped like a spooked cat, eyes wide as he reflexively put a hand over his cheek. He felt the mouth that had appeared retreat and for a long moment, Yuuji found himself standing there. He hadn’t expected Sukuna to speak, let alone offering some fashion help. It had been a whole month and now the curse made himself known again? In a dressing room of all places? A mix of emotions welled up in Yuuji and he worried his lip, warring with his desire that the curse would maintain his silence and how hearing that voice again helped to comfort the ache in his heart.

He swallowed hard before he spoke, softly, as he stared at himself in the mirror, “You think so?”

“One of the kimonos you wore had the pattern of golden suns on it,” Sukuna responded, tone still soft, hesitated, like some sort of animal testing out if it was even safe for him to come out, “Really what makes the top look strange is the cut of it. Too low in the front I think. Makes you look lost in it,”

Yuuji regarded himself in the mirror with Sukuna’s comments in mind and found himself in agreement with the curse. The cut of it didn’t fit him well at all. He sighed a bit before sliding out of it to put back on the hangar, picking up the next shirt, “I guess so,” he gave a small shrug, “I kind of miss that kimono. And the other ones,”

In particular, he missed the beautiful custom one Sukuna had gifted him the most. He had worn that one nearly everyday unless Uraume stole it to take to the wash, complaining he was already wearing it out. It brought a small smile to Yuuji’s lips as he looked at the shirt in hand, some black t-shirt with the pattern of a brightly colored tiger on the front. More a punk style than what he usually wore, but Nobara always pushed him to diversify his style beyond tired homeless hobo.

“Perhaps you should get fitted for one? I’m sure in this modern age some places still make kimonos like that,”

“Maybe. Will have to see, but wouldn’t have many places to wear it,” Yuuji said as he tugged the new t-shirt on.

The fit was a big snug, hugging more about his chest in a way that had Yuuji not sure if he liked it or not as he preferred loser styles more. It also rode up and showed more of his midriff than he would care to show on any given day. A slut shirt is what Nobara would have called it, which had Yuuji chuckling a bit. No doubt she would have a lot of opinions about the clothes he saw today and which ones he should get.

“You should stick to what you like. The sweatshirts look better on you, even if they are like wearing a potato sack,” Sukuna murmured.

Yuuji couldn’t help the barest snort at that comment, just a hint of a smile, “Nice to see you are still a well of backhanded compliments,”

There was a breath of silence from Sukuna at that, a moment of uncertainty before he spoke again, hesitating in a way that was unlike the usual forward curse, “Is that unwanted?”

Yuuji looked at his reflection in the mirror, noting the eye open on his cheek regarding him and gave a small shake of his head after a moment, “No. I don’t mind that,”

Slowly Yuuji peeled the shirt off, tossing it aside before picking up the next shirt, some long- sleeved punk looking thing that looked like something a skater boy from the nineties might have worn, “Where have you been for so long?” Yuuji asked quietly.

“I was giving you your space,” was the simple answer, “I doubt I would have been any comfort when I wasn’t the one you wanted to be here,”

“I guess so,”

The Sukuna in him wasn’t the one he wanted, not the man of the past, at least, not anymore. Deep down, he had accepted that there was only one Sukuna, just one that changed from past to present, across time, across hundreds of different and ever changing perspectives and in a thousand different stories. The Sukuna inside him was the man, the curse, the calamity, he had fallen in love with.

It was still hard though to even think about if it was right to try and kindle those feelings again, if they could at all, or if their love was a passing thing now, having burnt itself out in the once dull specter of Shibuya.

There was a loud knock at the changing room door that had Yuuji jumping a bit, looking back to it, “You almost done?” Megumi called out, “I’m kind of getting sick of trying this stuff on and feeling like the prized idiot of a boy band or a guy looking for a sugar daddy,”

Yuuji couldn’t help a laugh at that as he pulled off the skater boy shirt and moved to dress himself back in his comfortable and familiar hoodie jacket, “Yeah, I’m feeling the same. This stuff is just not what I would wear, but at least we tried, right?”

“At least we tried,” Megumi agreed, “She can’t hate us for that,”

“Exactly,” Yuuji smiled at that and it almost felt like Nobara was there with them.

Maybe that is why as always, he and Megumi walked with the space between them enough to fill with her spirit, like she was still laughing along to their antics. No matter what, it would always be the three of them in his memories and in whatever the next life might give them.

“So you heading back to campus or...” Megumi trailed off, glancing towards Yuuji.

Yuuji gave a shrug, “Think I’m going for my usual weekly run to help clear my head,” He said as he tucked his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, “So I might not get back until super late again,”

“Just make sure to get some sleep tomorrow,” Megumi teased, “They are talking about maybe starting classes up again for us,”

“Would be nice to get back to that honestly. Would rather doze off in class than have to fight the next world-ending catastrophe and death,” Yuui gave a wavering smile, “My mental health would really appreciate that as well as the therapist I sit with,”

Megumi gave a quiet laugh a that, “You are going to need a therapist for your therapist at this rate,”

“The therapist is actually trying to get me to join a group of sorcerers called Possessed Anonymous actually,” He admitted with a sheepish duck of his head, “Guess there are people out there like me with a live in soul roommate dealing with issues too. I’m debating if I want to see if I should join to see if I have it better or worse with Sukuna inside me,”

“I guess it couldn’t hurt. Make some new friends who understand your problems?” Megumi gave a small shrug, “At the very lease, you might have some stories to tell,”

“Yeah,” Yuuji sighed, giving a shake of his head, “I’ll think about it,”

He wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t want to see if people like him, who struggled like him, had experienced the same confusing emotions. If they were put through hell, always thinking about if they failed how so many people could be harmed. The responsibility that came with containing something so destructive from the world.

Or if it was normal to slowly fall in love with them despite the guilt that came with knowing what they were.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then Yuuji,” Megumi raised a hand to put on his shoulder, “For lunch at the cafeteria with Choso maybe?”

“Sounds good,” Yuuji said with a smile, “I might be awake by then,”

He gave his friend’s hand a squeeze before they parted ways at the bus station. He also made it clear to Megumi they would both need to meet for lunch as Yuuji wanted his aid in pestering Choso about what seemed to be a growing crush on someone. It was a little brother’s duty after all to figure these things out so he could properly tease him. That though was something to do tomorrow on a new page of the story and life Yuuji was writing.

As he watched the bus carrying Megumi go until it was out of sight, Yuuji turned away and moved to take out his ear pods, popping them in. He stood for a minute, eyes on his phone to pick out the playlist he had set up for today before he began to run. It was a light jog, just something to help clear his mind. It was a run he did almost weekly now, running along the coastline with the rising buildings of Tokyo on one side and the expansive ocean on the other. The sun was setting low as Yuuji ran, the warm colors playing off everything and painting it in wild and breath taking strokes of bold gold, orange, and red, all melding into the deep purple of the incoming night. The route Yuuji ran was well lit and there were other people walking along, all coming from different places, be it local business men just needing to clear their head, brows knitted in worry, to loud foreigners who never seem to notice how they talked so brashly.

Yuuji ran, taking in measured breaths and feeling the familiar, relaxing air about him as he went along, only slowing his pace when at last, he came to the point that marked the end of his run. Always it ended in the same place, that little out of the way quiet path down near the shore near a boat rental shop, now closing as the evening came. Slowly, Yuuji walked up to the railing that stood at the edge of the coastline and looked out over the harbor, to the many ships moving about and could recall, as always, the memory of the night that took place here.

The last time he saw Sukuna from another time and shared that final, vulnerable kiss.

Usually Yuuji was silent when he stood here, but today, it felt like there was a shift in the air. A small change like a small rock dropped into the water that was rippling out. The barest shift that could change everything.

“I’m surprised you have been so quiet you know,” Yuuji said out loud, softly, as he looked out over the water, “You never were one to hold your silence,”

“I told you I was giving you your space,”

“But what about when I did ask for you or tried to talk to you?” Yuuji asked, eyes trailing over the sleek outline of a slow moving cruise ship silently moving out to sea.

The curse was silent for a moment more before a soft sigh escaped him, “I don’t know. Perhaps I didn’t want to say the wrong thing,”

Yuuji gave a small nod at that and once more, they both fell into silence. The sound of the ocean rasped against the rocks below where Yuuji stood, a constant, but comforting lullaby of surging water. He watched it some, how the water looked like it was being filled with gold and blood as the sun set and reminding him so much of the past when the sun would dip behind the high mountains about Sukuna’s home. The same colors in just a different place.

“Could I ask you something? About the night the past you left?”

“You want to know what we talked about,”

Yuuji gave a small nod, resting his chin against his folded arms as he leaned on the railing, “Yeah,” He said quietly, “I expected a fight or something, but it didn’t look like anything happened. Then you got so quiet and then I couldn’t go to the past,”

He ached to know the why of all that, at least to try and lay to rest the pain in his heart a little bit more. All Yuuji wanted was some answers so he could lay that memory to rest in his mind at last.

“He didn’t want to see you die, no more than I did,” Sukuna said quietly after a moment, “The reason you could move to the past was my soul was being used as the anchor. Somehow you manage to link both of us together, past to present, and use that to go back and forth. It meant both of us had to severe the link to keep your soul where it needs to be,”

“Needs to be,” Yuuji murmured softly, feeling his heart sink, “So he really is gone?”

“As you knew him I suppose,”

The bitterness was clear in the present Sukuna’s voice and it had Yuuji pausing a moment before he glanced away from the harbor, turning his head to look instead back towards the city of Tokyo at his back.

“What changed between then and now?”

“I don’t know,” Sukuna’s tone was truthful and tired, “My memories are distorted, like recalling the past in two separate instances. Just I suppose one of those paths is simply more worth my time to remember for how it felt. I am not accustomed to feeling anything,”

Yuuji gave a nod, “I guess it is hard to feel when people are ripping you apart for having the audacity to exist,”

Because he had seen that pain in Sukuna’s expression, that feeling that he had found someone who had accepted him and not trembled in fear. Someone who hadn’t set out to explain how Sukuna was wrong or make him change how he thought by force, but allowed him to exist how he wanted. Maybe Yuuji had been an idiot, thinking it was a dream, unaware he was in actual danger, but he had swept through Sukuna’s life in a way no one else had been able to. Just like in the present, his pity and disdain for Sukuna mixed into a powerful cocktail that had drawn out the absolute worse in the king of curses. Now it seemed to Yuuji that all the world was just a circle of slowly moving, always churning suffering until at some point that cycle could be broken at last.

“It is something that I’ve grown long since accustomed to, even if at times it is becoming more tiring,” the curse inside of him said, voice weary, distant, the usual heat burnt out, “I suppose eventually karma comes for its debts,”

Yuuji looked up over the buildings of Tokyo and the glittering jewel of the city at night, dazzling and elegant as it rose to challenge the unseen stars in the sky, “You never seemed happy from the moment I met you. I just figured it was because being stuck inside someone’s body must have sucked a lot,”

“The lack of a physical body would make anyone a tad edgy,”

Yuuji gave a nod, although he was painfully aware it was more than just that. It was more than just a lot of things. So many unspoken things between them that were linked into a past where they had already said all this once before. Both of them had already seen the other’s soul bared painfully. In the night, lit up as it was, the absolute darkness of the past was still so distant. Somewhere out there, beyond the lights of the city, in dark mountains were other horrors and memories. The old Shibuya that still wanted to come back and the starving, pale woman who would serve herself, bit by bit, to save a child the entire world screamed was unwanted.

The two of them knew each other’s pain to the point it seemed strange to talk about it all over again, making it easier to talk about the mundane and let things slowly drift into the ashes of the feelings that lay there.

Yuuji closed his eyes, and perhaps, just this once, reached into the ashes that lay between them, stirring it in a search of the embers.

“I miss you, how you used to be,” Yuuji said quietly, “Was easier to talk to you,”

“You made it easier to understand you in the past,”

“And now?”

“Now there is a lot more bad blood between us as you got to see my absolute worse time and time again,” Sukuna said simply.

Sukuna was always a monster, but there were two sides of the coin as everything in life was complex. A monster was a human, a human was a monster. Even Yuuji sometimes wondered if at some point he would be pushed to a point where he would eventually abandon morals in a mad rush of anger and charge into a fight one day where he would make himself a calamity of this world.

“Did the other you say anything else? About what to do about us?” Yuuji asked quietly.

“He said it was time to accept whatever choice you make and respect it, that this feeling for you, this curse I have been given,” Sukuna stopped for a moment, debating on what to say next, before sighing, letting the words spill out, unfiltered and open, tired and tinged with a bone-weary hopelessness, “Your happiness is what matters in the end, even if that means you find another to call your own. Unrequited feelings to harbor for eternity,”

Yuuji opened his eyes, staring at the blank sky above, feeling his heart clench at those words, “Unrequited,” he said softly, “I don’t think I’d go that far,”

The ocean lapped gently against the rock in the silence that hung in the air between them. Yuuji stared off, trying to sort everything in his chest. The sadness of having lost the past Sukuna as well as the guilt that he ever let a monster in to mean so much to him, knowing full well the horrific destruction and death he was capable of. There was also the longing that even talking to the Sukuna he knew could satisfy as they had the same voice. The same anger. The same anxious hope.

The love that was still there, even if it hung unsure in his chest.

“I hate you, there is no way around that. I hate you for what you did and the deaths you allowed to happen and caused,” Yuuij said quietly as he pushed himself away from the railing, starting to walk towards the bus station, although he knew the last bus of the evening had already left, “But I also love you, Sukuna. I love the confidence you had, how you always knew yourself without question, how you managed to grow beyond every tragedy, stronger than before. How you tried every new craft just to amuse me and the easy ways you found pleasure in life,”

Yuuji allowed himself a small smile, “I learned to be selfish, and now I can stand up again and see the world a little different and heal.,”

“Just as I learned to be selfless, and be content with the loss and question what pleasures I am really after in life,”

A quiet laugh fell from Yuuji’s lips, “You are starting to sound as depressed as I was,” he said quietly, “I didn’t think the powerful king of curses would be the sort to give up so easily,”

“Given that when I make a move at all, it has made the situation worse and in the past you have treated me like some sort of scab to pick off, forgive me for realizing that between you and I, there is little to hold my breath about,”

“Then don’t hold your breath. You’ll make yourself dizzy,” Yuuji said as he arrived at the station, pausing to look over the schedule to confirm no more buses would be by before he started to make the long walk back to Jujutsu Tech, “I used to do that when I was a kid when I was upset. I was told it was rude to yell, so I would just hold my breath until there was real concern I was going to just pass out,”

Sukuna gave a small snort, “That sounds about right for you,”

There was a hint of amusement, just a glimmer of something achingly familiar. In his mind, at the end of that sentence, Yuuji could practically hear the unspoken “tiger cub” that Sukuna wanted to say but held back like it was some sort of unspoken permission that needed to be earned.

Maybe it did need to be earned, or at least something had to come to a point between them where such names were easy to say and freely accepted without pain once more.

“Don’t tell me that you never did anything weird to keep from getting upset with someone. I’m sure there were times you would have liked to snap at Uraume but didn’t want to hurt their feelings,” Yuuji said with a small smile as he walked along.

“I can’t recall ever feeling much of that for Uraume,” Sukuna admitted, “And given they made my food, I decided early on to be rather respectful of their space. Besides, when I get upset, I usually just let the world take the brunt of it,”

Yuuji had to hide a small wince at that, having been more htan privy to how that rage could spiral out. It made some bitter voice in him wonder why he was even letting Sukuna in close, or even trying to reconcile everything when people had suffered for how Sukuna acted. It would be so easy to call him all sorts of name and enjoy his discomforts, but it wasn’t in Yuuji to be so petty.

Or maybe it was just his turn to pay back the favor and kindness that had been given to him by a strange source in a time when Yuuji was more than certain all he wanted in life was to die.

“Do you ever regret it all? What happened between us in the present? Like if you knew then what you knew now, would you have done it any differently?” Yuuji asked quietly.

Sukuna was silent as Yuuji waited at a stop light to cross. The light turned green before the king of curses spoke, voice quiet and soft, “I would have done a great many things differently if I knew who you were instead of assuming hatred and disdain for someone I saw as weak,”

Yuuji passed along into quieter streets then, getting away from the glare of the city and the street lamps were not as numerous. A sigh fell from Sukuna, so weary of the world in ways that were painfully familiar to Yuuji now, “You know I can never be who I was again. That is impossible. I can’t hold you or offer you the same comforts. I’m practically just a voice in your head,”

“I know,” Yuuji said quietly, “Only in my literal sleep, right?”

“If you don’t mind my domain,”

“Maybe meet in my domain and see what its all about,” Yuuji offered with a small smile, “If I even have one,”

“So you want to speak to me more,”

Yuuji gave a small shrug, “I want to see where things could go from here between us,” He admitted at last, “I miss you. The part of you that no one else got to see. The part of you that loves me,”

Because in the end, it was love. A painful, twisted, awful love that was beautiful, breath-taking, and warm. It was equal parts forsaken as it was elegant. It was a love steeped in guilt for cultivating such feelings for a monster, while at the same time, selfish in wanting to indulge in all those feelings that made life seem far brighter and worth living. It was a curse and a blessing. It was pure and tainted.

What he had for Sukuna was a feeling one thousand years in the making, connecting past to present in a story where Yuuji held the pen and was told to write the ending. A part of him steeped in anger and contempt wanted to write that they drifted apart. Another part of him that was crawling back out of the depths of depression and a lack of ability to see his own self worth wanted to give Sukuna one more chance.

Still one more part yearned to be the romantic and write how they found each other again, lovers lost over one thousand years to reunite, to kiss, to hold onto each other with vows that would change the world to its core with how powerful a bond they would create. They were two separate forces that contradicted and complimentary each other as they swirled together, destroying and saving each other over and over again.

“I don’t know if things will work out between us, but we can start to try at least. Feel it out, see if there is something to save,” Yuuji said, pausing in his walk up one of the sloping hills towards campus.

By then, the night had passed on and there was a faint tinge on the horizon. Yuuji didn’t feel tired despite having spent the whole night walking and talking with Sukuna about where they would go from here. His eyes settled on that pink line that was starting to break the darkness of the horizon, widening ever so slowly.

“I’m willing to try if you are willing to take a breath with me,” he said soflty.

Those words earned a soft laugh from Sukuna, “You don’t forget anything I say, do you?”

“Despite everything vulgar that comes out of your mouth, there is often some kernel of wisdom to hold onto in my experience,” Yuuji said with a small smile, “So what will it be?”

The dawn continued to climb and the late blooms of wisteria began to come into focus, their purple blossoms standing out, covered in dew like slow tears beginning to vanish in hazy mist to honor the rising sun. Out of the darkness of the night, the world was being reborn, reincarnated in soft pastels of a world ready to be shaped by those still willing to place their hands upon it.

“I would like to try,” Sukuna said slowly, “Even if it will move slowly. I can make amends,”

Yuuji shook his head as he started walking again as the dawn continued its slow march, the day being reborn in glorious soft pinks, yellows, and pale blues out across the world, softening all the dirty edges of the world into something soft and hazy.

“It isn’t about making amends. I’m not the Buddha offering redemption or something, I just want to know if you want to walk with me, experience life with me, and maybe start to feel this world again with me, even if it is just through me,”

The world was silent in the early morning. Even the birds seemed to hold their song as Yuuji walked along, making it feel like he was no longer even apart of this world, like he and Sukuna had stepped into some place more empty and serene that sat apart from the usual suffering of the world. A world that was painted in all the colors Yuuji loved, soft and pastel and gentle dark colors that never could quiet reach the impossible pitch darkness of night and evening. Still hazy at the edges, like a painting. A world reborn and starting to form itself once more.

“I do. If you will let me again, I do,”

Sukuna’s voice was soft, still tired, but there was something a bit more alive in it, less sullen, just a spark, and something about that made Yuuji smile. He wondered if he had been like that in the past, so broken until the right things were said to bring back his own spark. Inside Yuuji’s heart, in the aching ashes, something was being cultivate. Whether it was a new fire that would spark up quickly between them, or a slow growing tree, needing time to spread its roots deep Yuuji couldn’t say. It could even be a broom, sweeping out his love in time, but at least making it clear there was nothing left there.

But there was a chance now.

Yuuji paused along a guardrail and turned towards the dawn and found himself moving to lean on the railing to watch the sun rise, a small smile on his lips. In that moment, he could imagine Sukuna leaned up next to him, as he looked now in the present, watching the same thing, feeling the same things while having different thoughts about it all. He found himself closing his eyes, imaging the whole scene in his head, and maybe for a moment, he could feel the warmth of another against him, content, happy, a little bit of the past bleeding into the present.

“Let’s give it a try. Just once more,” Yuuji said softly, “Just you and me figuring it out while handling whatever happens next,”

“Just once more,” Sukuna agreed, “But even if it doesn’t work out, know that I don’t think what I feel for you, this love, is something I can ever let go of and it can always turn into something terrible and possessive,”

“I know,” Yuuji’s eyes opened, “But if I can’t love the worse parts of you, then I don’t deserve to love the best parts of you, right? Because I think even the past you hurt to see me hating you so much. It almost seemed like you hated yourself more than anything,”

That had Sukuna letting out a small laugh, “I suppose that is one way to look at it, but it also could have been jealousy too,”

“That it could have been,” Yuuji rested his chin against his arms, watching the sun rise, a small warmth in his chest, “Let’s give ourselves a chance to write a better ending though. I think we both would prefer something better than death or suicide,”

“Even a calamity doesn't care for endings that are only mundane, expected tragedy,” Sukuna agreed, “Write something good,”

“But don’t spoil the ending?” Yuuji asked with a teasing smile.

Sukuna laughed at that, his voice gaining more of that familiar amusement and Yuuji felt that weight against his side, as if Sukuna stood beside him, shoulder to shoulder, watching the rising dawn.

“Don’t spoil it. This time, I’ll be patient in reading what is coming,”

Yuuji smiled, and in his mind, they stood there together, perhaps not to where they were before in the past, but like Shibuya, things were changing. Slowly, in small steps. Perhaps they would grow close. Perhaps not. They would try and do all they could, moving forward, together, to the uncertain future stronger than ever and growing around everything that once sought to destroy them. Those dark feelings retreated back into the night, into darkness, crouched and ready to come back. The snarling demon of Shibuya. The starving woman. The horrific deaths and sneering faces. All ready to return if their guards dropped.

Only now Yuuji felt more confident and more ready to fight them if they came again.

It was a new day. The dawn filled the world with light and color and Yuuji could imagine his hand closing around another’s hand, lacing fingers together and holding on to the gentle hope in his heart that shined through every dark feeling in his chest.

Maybe they would figure it out.

Yuuji hoped for that more than anything as he watched the dawn and prepared himself for another new day, taking it as ever, one step at a time, one historical inaccuracy from the start into whatever future the present now held.

It was simply time to finally move forward and continue to smile and live his life, just as he wanted.