Work Text:
god
I really do think
this all happened on the same goddamn night
as the s4 finale
how were they even awake for breakfast
LIKE
this is explicitly set the night she loses the miracle box but we see??? it’s explicitly post-Destruction also???
how fast did any of this even happen
like we thought the asynchronous storytelling in multiplication - destruction was kind of weird
but this makes it even weirder
like okay half of Evolution presumably doesn’t take place in real time because, like, bunnyx’s whole hideout is explicitly outside of time, we get that, but Multiplication??? Destruction???
this is INSANE
i’m like, this close to pulling out the 24-hr calendar and taking notes to figure out what order everything happens in and how on earth it all fits into a single night
the sheer rollercoaster they’ve all had in terms of adrenaline
they’ve both had a day but oh my god they’ve BOTH had a DAY
adrien found out about the trip less than 24 hours ago
let’s see, adrien was gonna go on tour, [waves hands in the vague direction of the finale, i.e. felix/flairmidable/replique/miraclebox/ladypanicattack/reassures ladybug he’ll always be there for her], time travel shenanigans, stopping by london briefly, goes home, presumably answers ladybug’s call and transforms again and goes to the wax museum, faces monarch in person for the second time that night, cataclysms him, goes home again wondering if he’s killed a man, somewhere in there the paris special happens and he meets the edgy villain version of himself from like the mirror dimension, goes home, presumably that’s when? he asks his dad if he can stop modeling? calls marinette? really appreciates her advice that she gave him eArliEr iN tHe DaY, goes to sleep???
did I miss anything???????????? I feel like there’s room for me to have missed something even though it feels IMPOSSIBLE for more to be shoved in there
also i cannot stress enough, adrien finds out he’s going on tour and then goes to school at 8:30am
god damn this is the most fucking insane day
and MARINETTE
like
ADRIEN AND LILA LEAVE THIS AFTERNOON. YEAH HE LITERALLY FINDS OUT THE DAY OF
monarch appears IN HER ROOM at one point like
AND THEN HESPERIA TURNS UP IN HER ROOM THAT NIGHT
and that’s not even the most insane thing to happen in her room that night
villain!marinette TRIES AND FAILS TO SUMMON GIMMI IN HER ROOM THAT NIGHT
evil double identity reveal happens in her room that night!!
“this is the end of the WORLD” marinette says in her room that morning
kid you have no goddamn idea
like
oh my god
I’ve been laughing to myself constantly for minutes
we thought this timeline was nuts when destruction dropped
little did we fucking know
god okay i assume you’ve seen the post with chat noir’s speech to ladybug about how she always comes up with crazy plans that make no sense but work and the tags like “how the hell did it take her multiple episodes after this to figure out she wanted to make out with him”
the dodgeball dungeon was less than twenty-four hours before that speech
god all of that earlier to say marinette had a chat blanc flashback moment earlier in the day and then chat celeste was a thing
and in between them we see griffe noire threaten to “turn this lousy world to ash” as he calls up a mega-cataclysm!! speaking of moments that could have gone much worse if she hadn’t held it together, man
[edited in from later on:
also though okay so i did realize, i think the reason ladybug doesn’t have another flashback or worse about chat celeste is she doesn’t have time
not just like in a “there’s a fight gotta compartmentalize/repress the shit out of that” kind of no-time i mean i’m not sure she actually gets a look at him until they are already in mid-air making their escape and trying to shake toxinelle & griffe noire off
like i need to double-check but i honestly did get the impression that she just. does not get a chance to freeze up because she can’t see what has happened to him right away, which would explain a lot
bc like the thing is it does feel weird that the chat blanc trauma they literally just confirmed she explicitly has, like, eight hours ago, isn’t even a little bit alluded to in that moment
god also the way our first sight of canon adrien in the paris special is him staring at his hands in horror and talking to plagg about how he feels like he’s losing control and is afraid he’s going to wind up destroying everything around him
…and then he’s physically forced to cataclysm griffe noire, who takes all of eight seconds to run directly at chat noir and fling him into a building and hard
like yeah okay so he had an entirely reasonable period of absolute terror/horror at what he might have done and was immediately presented with uh. very hard, metallic evidence that actually a miraculous user getting cataclysmed just. is not that big a deal actually, it’s fine, the majority of the pain caused by this situation is the concussion he, chat noir, is lucky he’s presumably magically protected from
anyway yeah so i’m rewatching and she might be able to see the glowing butterfly mask but we’re specifically shown that the conversation about “i am giving you the power to save us, will you accept it” doesn’t happen in real time, and his transformation involves blinding white light that forces everybody to look away, and ladybug very specifically does not see him before he grabs her arm and yells “BRACE FOR TAKEOFF!”
there’s maybe a couple seconds where she could have looked up/behind her to see him, but he’s still glowing really brightly (and ofc she’s even closer than when he transformed) during the flight and at minimum she has to have turned back away in time to see toxinelle yoyoing his tail (after putting on sunglasses, because he’s legitimately painful to look at directly even from a distance!)
i think the first time she actually gets a look at chat celeste is when she’s going into Ladybug Vision mode and realizing she needs to unbuckle his belt to lose toxinelle
and at that point a) she is laser-focused on Solving A Problem b) chat noir has already made it very clear that he is getting her and hesperia away from the supervillains, starting with a joke and further demonstrated by him doing a couple loop-the-loops in attempts to shake toxinelle loose c) all we know she definitely sees is his lower torso/waist, which i can see being way less of an instant trigger than his head would be?
until she’s actually got a solution (removing the belt) to the current Problem, at which point she flips around to grab his hand with both of hers and uses her feet to actually get rid of the belt, so when she finally does see his face she’s focused and then feeling really good/at the top of her game to the point of being able to run with the joke he made when he was picking her up in the first place, and then he continues that (and his eyes are still chat noir green, which can’t hurt!)
god this show is so insanely well-written?? every time!!! you’re like “wow it seems a little weird that they forgot about this?” SURPRISE they absolutely didn’t and there is an extremely carefully scripted situation that perfectly accounts for the lack of acknowledgement beat by beat
man and then he lands and the kamiko is immediately recalled so she doesn’t even get a chance to get a good look
she actually looks down just to like, catch her breath for a sec, and as she looks up he’s back to normal
which, again, given that he is standing about six inches away and still glowing, it’s possible that part of why she looks down to catch her breath is that she can’t see very well trying to look at him because he’s still too bright!]
god it probably took every single week of that akuma break for marinette to process the events of that one goddamn day
she had to deal with adrien saying she was the only person who understood him and that whole speech from chat noir the same day forget “how did she take that long to realize she wanted to date chat noir” the important question here is how did she not just die having that many things happening in her brain
adrien: I’m going to throw everything in a box in my mind and just think about when I held marinette’s hand and she listened to me and understood my feelings
okay yeah everything about this season and the development of their relationship makes even more sense somehow after this
also in light of all this gabriel’s defeated tired slump at the end keeps getting funnier
jesus adrien gets this close to finding hawkmoth’s lair at the end of risk, too
he’s literally standing a few feet from the painting looking at felix’s thing when strikeback attacks, if he’d had even a minute to poke at it and start looking around…
like can you imagine if kagami had called five minutes earlier and he made it back to the house, like, while gabriel was still on the way down the elevator
he accidentally activates felix’s thing, looks around through it, sees something weird about the portrait, pokes the right spots, and finds himself going down the elevator by the time gabriel is creating strikeback?
if he pushes the same buttons felix did then he winds up finding his mom, which is… probably the better alternative to finding gabriel right then, but presumably he panics even worse than felix at that, so he gets out of there asap and things go back to normal for a hot second while they’re dealing with strikeback and risk, but then on top of everything gabriel is pulling that night, as soon as adrien thinks everything has calmed down he at minimum definitely sends plagg to go explore the weird secret garden basement if he doesn’t actually go back himself, so either plagg finds monarch somewhere during the All Of That or adrien himself
forget marinette’s trauma flashback earlier that day, we were potentially five minutes away from straight-up chat blanc 2
these writers are insane in the best way
god i’m just. imagine adrien sneaks down to figure out what was up with that secret basement garden after Destruction because what the hell it wasn’t like he was going to be able to sleep anyway and this is probably less bad than lying in bed all night wondering if he just murdered someone, right?
Marinette: oh wow Tikki is this alternate universe Butterfly holder a superhero?
Adrien: hey Plagg please tell me i didn’t just find Monarch in a secret basement in my house not to be confused with the other secret basement in my house where i found my dead mom a few hours ago
[griffe noire almost slams his entire body foot-first into ladybug’s face, only to be knocked out of the way by chat noir]
[they wrestle briefly before chat noir pulls out the cataclysm]
chat noir: okay hold it, i don’t actually want to hurt you i just need a second
chat noir: MY LADY BAD NEWS I KNOW WHERE MONARCH ISwhat did you just do???
griffe noire: lmao you pathetic coward, i’m not scared of a little thing like—
[ladybug slams right through him to grab chat noir]
ladybug: why is that bad news
chat noir: ah. right. so, uh, he’s in my basement?
chat noir: i mean i didn’t know we had a basement until tonight but apparently there’s two and my mom is in one of them and monarch is in the other so i’m pretty sure he has to be my dad which in retrospect makes sense but i think it’s my turn to have a panic attack if you’ve got a second
hesperia, who is currently on the ground being held down by griffe noire & toxinelle while LB&CN are distracted:
it’s very important that hesperia absolutely is not making the connection yet
LB&CN hear him struggling just in time to get distracted from the All That, there’s another bit of a fight, the three heroes escape into the sewers, and there’s a shorter version of the conversation with hesperia before ladybug is like okay so we’ll do what we can to help i guess but please hold that thought and SAY WHAT ABOUT MONARCH
adrien: …i guess we should probably go try to deal with him while he’s hopefully got his guard down and there’s potentially still time to save him so i didn’t probably just murder my dad huh
[he transforms]
chat noir: come on our house is this way
hesperia and ladybug, standing outside agreste manor: oh i don’t like where this is going at all
i’m not sure exactly how things go down once they get to the basement but i think it’s very important that gabriel does wind up like NONE OF YOU COULD POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND, I HAVE TO DO THIS, IT’S FOR MY FAMILY and is immediately faced with his alternate universe self and his son like “you literally don’t have to do this actually”
and I love that we can avoid a chat blanc 2 scenario bc hesperia’s right there to undo that immediately
however i do think it has to be very narrowly averted so that marinette’s extremely overloaded brain doesn’t have to actually work to put the pieces together that she probably did literally nothing wrong and the problem there was very much the supervillain
ladybug, frozen, staring disbelievingly at the tableau in front of her:
chat noir: it’s okay my lady it’s me i’m fine i’m not akumatized i’m calming down i just need a minute it’s fine
ladybug: i… so you’re telling me i’ve thought for months if i fell in love with chat noir or gave the wrong present to adrien agreste it would destroy the world and the whole time it was YOU???? [physically tackles monarch]
monarch: [suddenly tied up on the ground] i have no idea what you’re talking about but if you want to give a present to my son so badly why don’t you let me give him back his mother—
chat noir: okay no we just went over this, not at the price of someone else’s life and potentially losing the parent i actually have left and more importantly LADYBUG PLEASE EXPLAIN
[hesperia takes advantage of monarch being distracted by whatever ladybug is saying to retrieve the butterfly and then also begin retrieving the Everything Else (including gabriel’s wedding ring just to be safe), which is good because by this point i assume they have about ninety more seconds before toxinelle & griffe noire blow something up to get everybody’s attention again]
if you’re tracking butterfly pheremones here’s the hottest spot in paris. france. europe probably
they’re like halfway through sorting out the whole chat blanc debacle and fixing the communication issues that weren’t resolved during kuro neko or earlier in the night when griffe noire & toxinelle turn up
gabriel: you know if you give me back one of those i can at least work with you long enough to stop the children who just BLEW UP MY HOUSE—
hesperia: [ignoring him] here ladybug quick
[she shoves every remaining miraculous in her yoyo and closes it just in time to punch griffe noire in the face]
hesperia (dodging toxinelle): by the way i did notice he had every miraculous i know of besides yours except the rabbit and the peacock? are their whereabouts already accounted for?
ladybug: HE DOESN’T HAVE THE PEACOCK???
hesperia: …oh i very much hope that isn’t as dangerous for you as it would be for my adrien
griffe noire: your WHAT
chat noir: DANGEROUS??
gabriel: don’t you DARE—
hesperia: oh no, then yours is—oh this is very bad, ladybug, chat noir, listen, it’s imperative you retrieve the peacock immediately, do you have any idea where it could be
griffe noire: no seriously what was that, adrien who
chat noir: uhhh well i assumed it was here but if you’re sure he doesn’t still have it then i… bet it’s somewhere between here and london currently?
ladybug: oh, do you think—i didn’t even think to wonder what felix would have stolen them for, you think he wanted—
griffe noire: FELIX????
chat noir: i hadn’t thought about it either but i guess?? i don’t know who else could have it—oh no unless nathalie—
griffe noire & hesperia: ………who?
ladybug: okay well if felix or nathalie has it we can deal with that next, in the meantime why is losing the peacock dangerous for adrien agreste
toxinelle: wait, THAT’S who—hey, hold on, why would—
griffe noire: I WOULD ALSO LIKE AN ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION
hesperia: well i can’t speak for my counterpart but i stole the peacock miraculous so my wife and i could have a son—that was the mistake i mentioned in the sewers, if i hadn’t done that, or hadn’t gotten caught, or—it was as punishment for the theft that my wife was murdered, and it’s in her memory that i’ve dedicated my life to trying to be a better person and for my son’s sake that i’ve dedicated my life to trying to make this city a better, safer, more hopeful place to live
hesperia: he’s all i have left of her now and it’s all my fault, but i refuse to dishonor her memory by letting that twist me into someone like you [points dramatically at gabriel]
hesperia: how could you ever have thought emilie would want this? she would never—
griffe noire: and you didn’t fucking TELL ME??
(for like 90% of the conversation so far please assume everyone has been fighting the whole time and whoever’s speaking at any given moment actually keeps getting interrupted by having to dodge a yoyo/staff/cane or just getting tackled or what-have-you, except for gabriel who is off to one side due to being Not Mostly Invulnerable having no weapon being in the first hours of Slowly Dying Of Being Cataclysmed and also being tied up)
however during this last speech everyone did pretty much forget they’re in the middle of a battle and all just wind up standing still staring at hesperia, until the last bit when everyone is suddenly staring at griffe noire
I’m also sort of imagining that the fighting slowly stops as the conversation proceeds and it’s just a bunch of people spiderman-pointing at each other
yes precisely
at this point toxinelle does just fully find somewhere convenient to sit down to watch however this is about to go down and quietly lucky charms herself some popcorn
hesperia: ………oh no
ladybug and chat noir: oh no… dude… griffe noire…
griffe noire: this whole time—i thought you didn’t even CARE—what was the point—
hesperia: all this time i was fighting my own… and i never realized, what kind of father am i, what have i done
hesperia: you—the supreme knew, he chose you on purpose as a weapon against me—my god, what could have happened, what i could have done to you—
griffe noire, trying hard to stay angry and hurt in the face of his father’s obvious overwhelming terror-sorrow-guilt: no kidding, he chose me months ago and you never even noticed—bet you regret not handing over the miraculous now, huh?
hesperia, still barely hearing him because even as a hero gabriel is skilled at nothing if not accidentally ignoring his son: my god i could have killed you and never even known
hesperia: was that his plan? all along, did he choose you intending for the true punishment to be learning at the end that i had killed or been killed by my own son?
griffe noire: you’re still not even listen—wait you think his plan was what
griffe noire: haha oh fuck. what. this is fine
griffe noire: [sits down on the floor staring into space]
toxinelle: oh, is the family drama over? just when it was getting fun. oh well, i’m almost out of popcorn anyway—
chat noir: so can we back up to the thing where i might be a sentimonster too
[griffe noire’s head shoots up]
griffe noire: HEY WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT PART FATHER WHAT THE FUCK
chat noir: oh shit wait is that why your chest is just kind of weird and cracked like happened to me one time instead of looking like my father’s arm that i’m pretending i didn’t see because i don’t have time to have that panic attack yet?
chat noir: hm never mind there’s a lot to unpack there actually let’s just ignore it
the other three agrestes in the room: cool yeah good plan
chat noir: so, the peacock miraculous
toxinelle: [lucky charms herself some more popcorn]
hesperia: ah yes well i’m not sure what more you wanted me to say? i already said adrien—my adrien—is a creation of the peacock miraculous which is why i absolutely cannot return the peacock in my world to the supreme because he would—the consequences—the supreme already took my wife in punishment, he would not hesitate to… to take my son as well [his voice breaks and he half-hides his face in one hand, obviously barely holding back tears]
toxinelle, to herself: wow that’s super fucked up [tosses another handful of popcorn in her mouth]
(the thing is that she is actively forcing herself to Not Feel Bad For Anyone Here and it’s only slightly easier than it was not getting invested in marinette’s diary bc she doesn’t actually know any of these people, but also somewhat harder bc it’s not just words on a page they’re all right there, but she is DETERMINED to stay above it all and think this is great entertainment and she is absolutely not thinking about how long it’s been since she hugged her mom)
(she is Absolutely Not comparing her own family situation to [gestures] all this and thinking maybe she should talk to her mom or something and is avoiding thinking of this sabine saying that anything can be fixed and it’s extremely difficult and she would be very impressed with herself for how well she’s doing if that didn’t involve acknowledging that that is what she’s doing and also that she’s not actually doing it that well)
griffe noire (also barely holding back tears): you should have just TOLD me—
hesperia: i know, i’m so sorry, i’ve failed you so terribly as a father, i’ve been so blind, can you ever forgive me, i should have told you all along but i couldn’t bear to tell you it was my fault that your mother was dead—
griffe noire: your fault? don’t you mean you couldn’t tell me it was my fault?
hesperia: what???? how can you possibly think—
griffe noire: you literally said stealing the peacock miraculous to create me was your mistake that got mom killed, if i was never born then—
griffe noire: hey wait also why did you even need that, couldn’t you just—why would you want a sentimonster for a kid, i’m not even—am i even human? is my entire life a lie?
chat noir: [makes a face halfway between The Luka Face and the one toxinelle makes in the last panel of this comic]
hesperia: [fucking FINALLY realizes this is a conversation in which he should be hugging his son]
hesperia: no no no i didn’t mean it like that, stealing from the supreme was a mistake but i could never regret creating you, [something sufficiently affectionate enough to be appropriate but also emotionally stilted enough to still be IC], your mother and i loved you so much, [etc]
toxinelle: aw man it’s getting boring again [is Absolutely! Not! Thinking! about how long it’s been since she hugged either of her parents!]
chat noir: …i’m not even real…
ladybug: chaton NO how could you say that??? of course you’re real!! don’t you remember sentibug? she was clearly a person, and you’re—
chat noir: oh fuck that was nathalie
ladybug: …what???
ladybug: chaton that makes no sense, the whole point is she was a sentimonster—
chat noir: oh my god nathalie’s committed murder
chat noir: i got told about a schedule change this morning by someone who committed murder
chat noir: —how was that THIS MORNING—
ladybug: OH NO YOU MEAN SHE’S MAYURA
ladybug: oh that’s why you said felix or nathalie must have the peacock, okay, that does make sense. also oh my god
chat noir: i mean it has to be her, there’s no one else my father would trust like that
chat noir: i only thought of felix first because he’s the other person who was here today and he did steal the miracle box and we still don’t know why but hey wait a second what the fuck
chat noir: father why did felix steal the miracle box
gabriel: adrien that is entirely inappropriate language
chat noir: I JUST FOUND OUT I’M A SENTIMONSTER, NATHALIE HAS COMMITTED MURDER, FELIX STOLE THE MIRACLE BOX FROM LADYBUG BECAUSE I’M TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO TELL YOU I HATE BEING A MODEL AND I HATE LILA AND I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE PARIS, I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE PARIS FOR MONTHS AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME UNTIL THIS MORNING, AND MY MOTHER’S DEAD BODY IS IN YOUR OTHER SECRET BASEMENT
griffe noire & hesperia, who have been distracted from their own tearful hugs & conversation about how much they miss emilie: holy shit and we thought we had problems
chat noir: I DON’T CARE—hey wait how am i still talking, you normally tell me to be quiet and go to my room before i actually say anything
chat noir: that was the whole point of switching with felix, he doesn’t just have to do whatever you say—
gabriel: that’s enough, adrien
chat noir: yeah see like that
chat noir: except normally i’d be saying “yes, father” right now and leaving and i’m not doing that? is this just what it takes for me to actually learn how to stand up for myself like felix and kagami and nino keep saying i need—
gabriel, fully losing his temper because chat noir’s entire personality is roughly 95% The Parts Of Adrien’s Personality He Correctly Suspects His Father Wouldn’t Like If Adrien Ever Had The Opportunity To Be Around Gabriel For More Than Three Consecutive Minutes Anyway: oh hardly, i simply made the mistake of giving your amok to nathalie for the trip and have obviously been unable to retrieve it in the hours since the trip was canceled
chat noir:
chat noir: oh my god i’m actually a sentimonster. oh fuck
gabriel: you clearly already knew—
chat noir: YEAH BUT I STILL DIDN’T THINK IT WAS REAL
griffe noire: [a strangled kind of yyyyyyup noise because that’s about where he’s at too]
chat noir: i’m actually a sentimonster oh my god
gabriel: yes we’ve been over this, you can stop repeating yourself any time now
chat noir: oh my god wait i don’t just have to do whatever you say because normally i do have to do whatever you say BECAUSE YOU’RE USING MY AMOK???
chat noir: oh my god i have an amok
chat noir: oh my god that whole time felix was calling me pathetic for not being able to stand up to my father and he was literally using magic to control me and we didn’t even know and i thought he was right and i was actually just that spineless but i literally couldn’t have stood up to him about the trip because there literally was an actual invisible magical force making me do what he wanted
ladybug: oh my god and i just said i thought it was normal because it’s like having a crush???
chat noir: you said what??
ladybug: iiiiiiii said… uh, nothing! normal things! i didn’t say anything! i don’t know you! i mean i know you chat noir you’re my partner but haha obviously i don’t know adrien agreste that would be so weird can you imagine?
ladybug: i mean aside from the times i’ve saved you during akuma attacks obviously but that’s normal
ladybug: HEY WAIT YOU’RE CHAT NOIR
chat noir: ……..yes???
ladybug: THAT’S WHY YOU THREW YOURSELF OFF THAT BUILDING
chat noir:
chat noir: i mean, you said to
ladybug: yeah but i didn’t think you’d do it that FAST
[griffe noire scoots over to steal some of toxinelle’s popcorn]
ladybug: oh my god and i got so mad at you for losing your miraculous with style queen but you were the first person who got hit
chat noir: how do you even know that
ladybug: and the time you skipped getting ice cream you wanted to set up that date and then you were so sad i didn’t come and oh chaton i’m so sorry, i never— oh my god i threw adrien agreste in a trash can
ladybug: I PRACTICED CONFESSING TO MY CRUSH ON YOU
toxinelle: [lucky charms up two more buckets of popcorn so griffe noire will stop stealing hers]
chat noir: i
chat noir: you did—
chat noir: WAIT—
ladybug: oh shit wait that’s hawkmoth. oh no
ladybug: [lunges forward to slam both hands over chat noir’s mouth before he can say anything]
chat noir: mmr mmrmmmmmm??????
ladybug: shhhhhhhh
chat noir: [winces]
chat noir: [conveys “sorry” despite having access to almost no sounds that aren’t “mm”]
[beat while he processes]
chat noir: [shoulders slump, suddenly clearly disheartened]
ladybug: [hastily pulls her hands back]
ladybug: oh chaton i’m so sorry, is this—are you disappointed? you look—
chat noir: no no no you’re the best partner i could ever ask for, you’re amazing, you’re—i mean, i said—[glances sideways at gabriel] well, you know. i just—i stopped asking you out, just like you asked, i just… but i guess it hadn’t really hit home that you like someone else, you know? i’m sorry it took me so long to realize it bothered you, and whoever the guy you like is, he must be a total idiot if he doesn’t like you back, and i hope you’re really happy together
ladybug: [staring blankly]
ladybug: oh my god adrien agreste has a crush on me
chat noir: [winces again] i’m sorry i didn’t know that would make it weird!!! can we at least still be friends?
ladybug: [produces a series of sounds involving absolutely no actual words]
chat noir: [laughs slightly, despite himself]
ladybug: [buries her face in her hands, screams wordlessly]
ladybug: [screams into her hands with words this time but it’s still impossible to understand]
chat noir: what?
ladybug: [ still with her face buried in her hands but slightly less muffled this time] you’re buttercup
gabriel: this is the person i’ve been failing to defeat for months???
griffe noire & toxinelle: [snicker loudly]
chat noir: you
chat noir: i
chat noir: i’m who???
chat noir: but that can’t be right
ladybug: what??? why not?
chat noir: you’re so out of my league
gabriel has never wanted to leave a room so badly in his life
admittedly he’s never been in a room in his own house he couldn’t just leave when he wanted and he has very rarely been anywhere that wasn’t in his house in the last several years, and also for that matter very rarely been in a room that wasn’t in his house that he couldn’t just leave when he wanted anyway in a long time, but still
chat noir is definitely about to describe all the ways in which marinette “ladybug” dupain-cheng is way too cool for him, at length and in detail, and she is absolutely not about to remember that Gabriel Agreste Is Still In The Room And Still Wants To Steal The Miracle Box Or Better Yet Her Earrings which is why it’s very convenient there is another gabriel agreste who is also in the room who feels fairly awkward about this but more importantly is on her side and can helpfully cut in before her identity is actually revealed to point out that maybe they should save that part of the explanation for later?
chat noir & ladybug: ah
chat noir & ladybug: right
chat noir & ladybug: yes thank you that would have been. very bad. also sorry about forgetting the rest of you were here maybe. uh so where were we
chat noir: i know i had more questions but i can’t remember any of them now
chat noir: hey wait actually you said in your world mom was murdered by the supreme—um, sorry—but there isn’t a supreme here?? why is my mom dead too
chat noir: and why did either of you want sentimonster kids anyway
chat noir: if it was just my father then it would make sense, he just wanted a kid he could control, but you seem like you actually like your kid—[eyes go wide] ohhhhh no i just said that one out loud in front of people who aren’t nathalie
ladybug: do
ladybug: do you say that not out loud or in front of nathalie normally???
chat noir: [looks very much like he would like to be able to slide out of his chair and under the table or desk right now and deeply regrets that he is in fact sitting on the floor]
chat noir (obviously lying): ………no?
ladybug: oh chaton
chat noir: [looking miserable] sorry, sorry, i know, this is why i’m not supposed to say that kind of thing, but you really don’t need to be upset it’s fine
chat noir: it’s, you know, i’m used to it. it’s fine. i’m just still not used to there being anyone around but nathalie to hear
griffe noire & toxinelle: 👀 😶 😬 🍿
ladybug:
hesperia:
ladybug: there is. SO much to unpack there but we can save it for another time if you want i guess chaton?
chat noir: YES PLEASE
chat noir: never would also be fine
chat noir: so!!! about that peacock miraculous!!!
hesperia: ………well i ah. can only speak for myself and my wife but our reason was simply that we wanted a child and had no other way. we… tried and failed for several years before finally… before it… became clear emilie…
hesperia: the peacock miraculous was our last hope, when we had exhausted other options, and our son’s creation was the first true miracle i had ever known
griffe noire: [trying very hard not to look like he’s definitely about to start crying again]
chat noir: oh
chat noir: i’m. i’m so sorry. i shouldn’t have—i’m so sorry, you didn’t have to—i didn’t mean—
hesperia: no, no, it was a reasonable question, and after all the difficulty my presence has caused you, and what you have already done for me, providing what information i can is surely the least i can do
chat noir (sailor moon voice): but we haven’t even done anything to help you yet
hesperia: you have saved me from potentially making the greatest mistake of my life and destroying the one person i have left in the world who matters
griffe noire: [trying VERY hard not to look like he’s starting to cry again]
chat noir: oh
chat noir: um
chat noir: i’m. really glad, then, and i hope we can help more, but you’ve already done so much to help us, it’s still—thank you
chat noir: [visibly steeling himself]
chat noir: [turns to gabriel]
chat noir: so. um. father
chat noir: was that… was that also why? for you? or was it just—the other thing? did you just want a kid you could control?
gabriel: of course that was why. your mother and i searched for years for a way, we hired nathalie because the peacock miraculous was our last hope
chat noir, who definitely thought the “of course” was about the second possibility for most of that sentence: oh
chat noir: so you really—
chat noir: wait, nathalie???
chat noir: what did she have to do with—
gabriel: oh she used to be a treasure hunter or something of the sort, i forget exactly what she called herself
gabriel: we’d heard rumors of a magical artifact that could create living beings, nathalie was initially a guide and bodyguard and by the time we succeeded in acquiring the peacock we’d decided to hire her on full time
chat noir:
chat noir: you know i think it was less weird finding out she’d committed murder once actually
chat noir: okay so i know this isn’t—important to anyone else here, i guess, but it’s important to me and i already know everything else we’ve been talking about and i know you’ve been lying to me about this and you lied to me when mom was dying and i just want the truth for once
chat noir: is nathalie dying? did she catch whatever mom had? i know they have the same symptoms, is it—is she going to—
gabriel: she’s not ill
chat noir: i said i didn’t want—
gabriel: you are correct that it is the same condition, but it is not a disease. nathalie’s state is due to using a broken miraculous, and her decline has been more rapid due to said use being far more extensive, in order to aid me in my goal of reviving your mother, whereas your mother of course only used it once, and so the effects only became evident after several years
chat noir: …mom died because of me?
gabriel: what? no, that’s—of course not. besides, now that you finally understand the stakes you will see why you should untie me and allow me to make the wish
chat noir: but—but we can’t, the consequences—someone else would have to die to bring her back, we can’t do that, mom would never want—i wish—but it wouldn’t be right
honestly at this point he probably says more or less the same thing he said to griffe noire in the special but i’m not convinced it goes over as well
gabriel’s wayyyy too far past that point
griffe noire and hesperia both definitely start crying again and toxinelle rolls her eyes and shoves griffe noire hard enough that he falls over and when he’s done glaring at her he moves back to sit next to hesperia again instead, because he hadn’t actually remembered that the Wish was a thing and that it could theoretically be used for that until gabriel brought it up but it still hurts to have that brief moment of hope given and immediately torn away
gabriel on the other hand… i’m not sure if he’s actually at the point where he’d fully break down a la Re-creation yet? or if he’d just kind of be awful to adrien for accepting emilie’s death and trying to live the way she would have wanted etc, except i got halfway through that sentence and realized it’s definitely the latter and he starts to go off about it until adrien’s like hey wait some of this sounds familiar OH WAIT THAT’S WHY YOU WERE SO MAD I THOUGHT YOU’D FINALLY PROPOSED TO NATHALIE
adrien:
adrien: hey wait what were you going to tell me
adrien: …you were going to tell me you were hawkmoth weren’t you
adrien: i. you know on the one hand i feel like i should apologize to you ladybug because apparently i could’ve figured this whole thing out like two months ago but given the whole, um, chat blanc thing you were explaining earlier i guess maybe it’s not the worst thing that i didn’t find out when he knew i was there and wasn’t, you know, distracted?
gabriel: wait how did you find me
gabriel: was this… my… counterpart’s… doing?
adrien: oh nah it was really weird actually, i was upstairs this afternoon looking for you to tell you i didn’t want to go on the trip and i found this weird device on the floor that showed fingerprints on that painting of mom and i tried touching it and found the secret basement where you’re keeping her, and then when i came back tonight after, you know, everything else, i meant to go back there but came down here instead by mistake, and you were busy… uh…
adrien: [tries and fails not to look at gabriel’s arm]
adrien: you were busy so you didn’t notice me there and i left to go find ladybug and she was helping him so he came with us which i guess worked out for the best for everybody?
gabriel: [emphatically disagrees]
ladybug: OH SHIT YOUR ARM
ladybug: do you still have my lucky charm you stole? please say you still have my lucky charm you stole—
hesperia: is that it, perhaps? over there?
chat noir: oh thank god
[miraculous ladybug! gabriel’s arm is successfully un-cataclysmed!]
toxinelle: YOU CAN DO THAT??
ladybug:
ladybug: yes? that’s half the point of being ladybug, i fix all the damage from battles so everyone’s okay and the eiffel tower isn’t destroyed for good again or whatever?
toxinelle: i am going to kick the supreme’s ass so hard when we get back to our world—
griffe noire: co-signed, you two don’t even look like you’re dying from using your powers, this is such bullshit—
hesperia and also ladybug & chat noir: you’re what
toxinelle: ……………does using your miraculous not slowly kill you here???
ladybug: i. no??? [dives behind something so gabriel can’t see her and immediately detransforms] tikki why are they dying
tikki: oh! [cheerfully explains]
toxinelle:
toxinelle: I AM GOING TO KICK THE SUPREME’S ASS SO HARD—
gabriel, because he’s tired of everything not being about him: are we done with this ridiculous farce yet and can we return to discussing how you should free me and—
chat noir: well we’re definitely not going to do that
chat noir: pretty sure i had more questions though
chat noir: starting with “so how do we cure nathalie”
gabriel: you allow me to make the wish
chat noir: right so we’re definitely not going to do that
gabriel: then there is no cure
chat noir: but—
ladybug: then we’ll just have to find one
ladybug: we’ll ask su-han, whenever he gets back from tibet—oh!! no, better yet, we have the horse miraculous back already, we can go ourselves, i’m sure the guardians will know how to help
ladybug: and if they don’t then we’ll figure it out ourselves! i helped master fu decode the power-up recipes and managed to create those magical anti-akuma charms, i bet i could work out something that would cure nathalie
ladybug: and the peacock, too, when we get that back!! i don’t know what kind of effect a miraculous being broken has on the kwami but i bet that can’t be good for duusu either, we’ll definitely—
chat noir: …hey wait a second
chat noir: speaking of the horse miraculous
chat noir: why did felix steal the miracle box?
gabriel: [irritated, but very sick of hearing the same question asked and continuing to correctly assume that if he doesn’t answer their questions they’ll mostly just keep asking—or worse, keep asking and then immediately getting sidetracked by assorted inane topics until he does] he wanted the peacock
chat noir: wait i thought nathalie had the peacock
gabriel: you assumed she had the peacock
chat noir: but she was mayura, we know she was using it, that’s the whole problem we were just talking about
gabriel: she was mayura and then she grew too weak and has been unable to use it for some time, which is among the reasons i agreed to felix’s proposed exchange for the miracle box
gabriel: and if you’re about to ask how he managed to steal that from you he didn’t say and i didn’t ask, so—
ladybug: oh no we figured that out as soon as he stole it, he was pretending to be adrien—oh my god i said that whole thing about desperada to him
ladybug: oh my god it didn’t work because you couldn’t use the snake and the—oh chaton i’m so SORRY, three whole months because i—
gabriel: three months what
ladybug: oh adrien spent three months in a time loop using the snake miraculous once! which… makes way more sense now that i know it’s you, how i thought of the skyscraper first—
gabriel: adrien spent what????
chat noir: technically it wasn’t three months?
[gabriel is almost relieved for a second but don’t worry it doesn’t last]
chat noir: most of the loops didn’t last the full five minutes and i gave up after 25,913 tries so even if every loop had taken five minutes it wouldn’t have added up to three months
ladybug: it would so, i did the math!!
chat noir: at most that would have been 89.97569 days, that’s technically less than three months, and anyway it wasn’t, AND it doesn’t count when it’s all in five-minute loops anyway
chat noir: …and also i’m sorry again about that
ladybug: you’re sorry—
griffe noire, whispering to toxinelle, without even the slightest sense of irony or hypocrisy: man these guys are so fucked up, huh
ladybug: —MY FAULT, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY STILL BLAME YOURSELF—
ladybug, eventually: —literally the exact same mistake i made tonight, letting myself be completely blinded by my—by wanting to give… well, you, but the point is i didn’t know it was you, so is it weird to say “give adrien”? a miraculous just so i had an excuse to work with, uh, him, because i didn’t even learn from you putting yourself through that the first time, i did it again and practically handed felix the miracle box—oh, hey, wait, so why did felix want the peacock?
gabriel, who has entirely forgotten he was concerned about having just learned adrien once spent three months in a time loop and has moved on to being irritated with everything about this situation again: [would pray for strength if he believed in a power greater than capitalism]
gabriel, acidly: self-preservation, i assume
chat noir, ladybug, and griffe noire: what
i can’t decide if he says something very insulting about their collective intelligence or if he doesn’t waste his time (in his opinion) stating the obvious like that
gabriel: if you actually need it spelled out, i assume felix’s interest in possessing the peacock miraculous stems from his awareness that he is a sentimonster and could… hypothetically… be unmade, if the holder of the peacock were to wish to do so
ladybug: [suddenly processing the realization of how awful knowing someone else had it would be for felix, and also how dangerous for adrien, and maybe she should actually just let him keep it???]
chat noir: ………HE DID KNOW WHY I CAN’T STAND UP TO YOU
chat noir: couldn’t. whatever. that’s so weird
chat noir: he totally knew he was just—oh my god was he testing me? that’s why he was being so awful, i thought he was just mad about his father’s funeral but he was totally trying to figure out if i knew
chat noir: …he really was trying to help
chat noir: i mean i guess he was also looking for an opportunity to steal the miracle box, though how he guessed you were going to ask me for help…
ladybug, who finally tuned back in for the last part of that: …i don’t think he did
ladybug: i didn’t know i was going to ask you for help until after strikeback attacked and i only caught up with—him, i guess? at the train station? you can’t have switched on the train because i saw it leave and you didn’t get off, so—him as he was getting on the train, and he left anyway, and then i jumped onto the train to ask him to use the dog miraculous to try to get him to come back, and—anyway the point is, i don’t think he could have guessed that until the train station, so… maybe he really did just want to help you
gabriel: [snorts] no i believe he was mostly here to steal the peacock miraculous
ladybug: okay but we just figured out that doesn’t make sense—
gabriel: given that while he was here, he did, in fact, steal the replicas of both the peacock and the butterfly i left in the safe precisely in case of such an attempt
ladybug:
ladybug: okay well he could have just come and stolen them and left without anyone knowing he was here, probably, he didn’t have to switch places with adrien, so maybe it was a two birds with one stone thing?
ladybug: wait speaking of birds and stones, does he know the peacock miraculous is broken? if he wants it for his own safety he wouldn’t use it, right? do you think he’d give it back if i promised i just wanted to figure out how to fix it and he could have it back after that?
chat noir: you’re going to let him keep it??
ladybug: i kind of feel like i should???
ladybug: like i don’t trust him and i’m still mad about the time he tried to kiss me and i’m still REALLY mad about the miracle box, especially if he knew mr agreste—wait is weird to call him that now?—anyway if he knew he had the peacock he could have just told us, but i guess he didn’t have any way to know i wouldn’t misuse the peacock if he helped us get it back so working on his own probably seemed like the safest path and if he really had that much reason to be scared for his life i can see where he might have been coming from, i guess? i still want to talk to him before i actually decide but taking it back when he might finally feel safe just sounds awful, so as long as he doesn’t misuse it and he can actually keep it safe…
(also she’s not actually mad about the miracle box so much as upset and possibly slightly traumatized but “mad” sounds better)
ladybug: and—unless—he’s your cousin, and if he really was trying to help you by switching places then—i mean—
(she tries to figure out a nice way to ask if adrien thinks felix having the peacock would be dangerous for adrien)
and right about then nathalie nearly passes out
bc like, she’s definitely back already, like I imagine she came home and turned her phone off and went to bed, right, and then in canon she slept through everything after or maybe idk stewed in silence
and here lb&cn&hesperia snuck in, but toxinelle & griffe noire absolutely Did Not
at minimum one external wall got cataclysmed because why bother with doors or windows, and maybe they didn’t bother causing further damage on their way to finding gabriel’s secret lair but i doubt it so the floor of gabriel’s atelier is probably also gone
like. they have no reason to be stealthy or take the time to find the secret elevator and so on
griffe noire casually cataclysming stuff like the elevators/control panels he happens to see coming in
so whether nathalie’s actually asleep when they get there or not she definitely doesn’t stay that way
it takes her ages thanks to all the damage but if anyone can carefully, slowly rappel her way down even if physically nerfed and wearing some kind of robot leg brace, it’s nathalie
so she slowly makes her way down there, sees a crowd of people and is like. damn. should’ve gotten the crossbow
or actually maybe she did bring the crossbow, those were very loud noises and structural damage
either way the first thing she did was go check on adrien and then she realized he was gone
tbh if she didn’t bring the crossbow it’s probably because she wouldn’t want to have that if adrien was awake and then didn’t want to waste time doubling back to her room once she knew he was missing? on the other hand maybe she just plans to tell him to stay in his room, she can hold the crossbow out of sight for a minute and then go find the source of the noise, and oh boy does that prove a good decision once it turns out he’s missing
all these emotional revelations happening underground while she’s lara crofting through the house and making her way down
so it’s like,
gabriel: [still tied up on the floor, irritated with literally everyone here]
adrien: [entire brain has stopped working for at least the eighth time in the last two hours]
toxinelle & griffe noire & at this point also hesperia: 🍿 🍿 🍿
ladybug: i think maybe felix is the best holder for the peacock miraculous actually??
nathalie, except the pizza boxes are a crossbow:
and then she’s actually there way off to one side trying to figure out what the hell is going on here (and where adrien is) for the last couple minutes of conversation, but then the “dying of used a broken miraculous” catches up to her and she like, stumbles/half-collapses and has to catch herself
ladybug: well okay actually, i know felix is your cousin but i mean this in the nicest possible way but do you think he would murder you?
nathalie: [does not hear because she’s trying not to pass out]
griffe noire: hey who’s that / hesperia: ah, should we be concerned about the woman with the crossbow who just fainted?
chat noir: NATHALIE???
chat noir: nathalie oh my god are you okay? do you need help? what happened? here let me help you sit down—
chat noir: wait shit you’re mayura (← definitely forgot for a minute)
nathalie: [grabbing chat noir’s shoulder with a surprising amount of strength for someone who was barely staying conscious thirty seconds ago] where is adrien agreste i swear to god if you’ve all let him get hurt i will kill everyone in this room and then myself
chat noir: um. i mean i’m pretty upset about father being hawkmoth and finding mother’s dead body in the other secret basement but physically i’m fine?
nathalie:
chat noir: uh. hi? [forcefully repressing the memory of watching mayura murder sentibug]
nathalie internally: okay so i’m only going to kill gabriel then
nathalie: ...in that case i believe this is yours [slides ring off her finger, places it in chat noir’s hand
chat noir:
chat noir: nathalie did father finally propose this morning and i missed it?
nathalie: [the last panel but flipped] absolutely not, we have never been romantically involved and anyway i broke up with him like an hour ago
nathalie: no, the ring is your amok. half of it, anyway. the other half is currently in your cousin’s possession
hesperia: ah. about that, actually
hesperia: i meant to ask earlier but there’s been rather a lot going on—[holds up gabriel’s wedding ring] is this the other half? or is his amok something else in this world?
nathalie: who the hell are you
chat noir: oh, those are our counterparts from a parallel universe where father’s a superhero and ladybug and i are supervillains. or we were, anyway, it turns out they were lied to a whole bunch so i think they might not be evil after all? it’s a long story. also i guess i don’t know if ladybug and toxinelle are the same person but the rest of us definitely are
nathalie: thank you i understand less now
hesperia: look before we get sidetracked for the 87th time tonight can someone please tell me if this is chat noir’s amok so i can either give it to him or give it back to my counterpart here because i don’t actually want to steal someone’s wedding ring for no reason and i really don’t want to accidentally take half an amok home with me
nathalie: it’s fine, it’s a fake
nathalie: the real rings are his amok but that’s a replica, his cousin stole the real one two months ago
gabriel: [seeing an Opportunity™️] yes so if you would just give it back, it may be a replica but it’s better than nothing
hesperia, nathalie, & chat noir, immediately: oh shit he gave it back?
[hesperia promptly hands the ring over to chat noir]
SO okay, gabriel is busy fuming about how he screwed up his second chance to get chat noir to fix this whole situation—his first chance having been wasted bc he didn’t realize hesperia could just take the akuma back when he was trying to create chat blanc, and then hesperia confiscated his ring along with all the miraculouses—while chat noir is probably trying to figure out whether he wants to wear the rings over his costume for the moment or what and nathalie is still wondering what the hell she has missed
so nathalie’s like “so it’s clear i’ve missed some things” and everyone winces at the idea of trying to recap Everything so far but adrien is like “yeah uh we’ll catch you up later? the important thing is we fixed father’s cataclysmed arm and ladybug has all the miraculouses back including the butterfly except for the peacock which father said felix has now, and we all know he and i are, um, sentimonsters, and that’s why mom died, and that you do have the same thing mom did, but ladybug promised she’s going to find a cure for you okay?”
(and like, it actually happening isn’t really in the scope of the story but i figure she probably could at this point? there’s clearly no cure for emilie, and there wouldn’t be by conformation/re-creation for nathalie, but she’s still got a couple months left at this point, if ladybug can translate the grimoire and spontaneously decide to invent anti-akuma charms and eventually restore all the miraculouses i don’t see why she can’t find a cure for nathalie when she’s not quite on the brink of death yet)
oh my god wait does nathalie know about gabriel’s arm yet? bc i can’t remember but it would be so funny if she was like. i’m sorry what happened to your father’s arm?
adrien: ...um. well. me? i mean he kind of did it to himself, i didn’t actually mean to, he was just supposed to stay still so ladybug could get the miraculouses back but then he left and took her lucky charm with him so we couldn’t fix it until we got here
nathalie, internally: you really should have just let him die
griffe noire: wait you mean when I did that it wasn’t even the first time that happened to you tonight?
chat noir: oh yeah it had just happened like twenty minutes ago, it was awful
chat noir: actually i felt a lot better after you did it though because then you threw me into a building right after so it clearly didn’t do that much damage so i figured monarch would be fine after all. totally thought i’d just accidentally killed him until then though
hesperia re-realizing that he’d witnessed this with his own eyes: WHY... would you... DO that???
griffe noire: well I was dying anyway, you know?
griffe noire: annoying to have had my thunder stolen, though, much less by my evil alternate universe dad
anyway i think that’s probably around when toxinelle quietly sidles up to ladybug
bc earlier in the conversation she was like holy shit??? over ladybug’s lucky charm, and at the time she did not trust them and was not willing to be vulnerable enough to ask, but at this point, all of this drama she’s witnessed could shift her perspective a bit, like yeah she has problems but if she was grateful to the supreme at any point even if she had Feelings over them not telling her that there’s a downside to using her miraculous, now that’s all gone knowing that a lot more treachery has been going on
and if nathalie who looked like she was dying has a good chance of being cured, and gabriel’s cataclysm was fixed, maybe she finally comes up to ladybug and is just like, is it really just that easy?? i know you said using your powers doesn’t kill you here but is there a way i could...?
and marinette tells her it’s always worth trying
and she miraculous toxinelles her empty popcorn box
and then all three visitors from Evil Paris have a momentary breakdown because oh my god we’re not going to die / oh my god you were dying and i didn’t even know until today but now you’re going to be okay
(important note though, this is OUR story so WE make the decisions so i’m deciding toxinelle’s voice & appearance mostly don’t change. the pigtails are Symbolic™ but she keeps the makeup and the hairdye and the audible years of problematic teenage chainsmoking aside hopefully from the actual health ramifications. let toxinelle stay emo and have a gritty voice!!!)
and i feel like after that hesperia is like, so i don’t want to make assumptions but i do recall you both indicating you no longer wish to aid the supreme, can i ask if...? and both toxinelle & griffe noire are like if we want to go home and work with you so we can fuck the supreme up but good for everything he’s done to us? uh, yeah
and then ladybug & chat noir are both like “hey can we have one last quick word before you guys leave then?” and pull their counterparts aside to basically give them a pep talk and also listen there’s this girl/guy i know, i think you’d be really good friends—
hesperia just looks at gabriel and is like “i regret many things in my life but i have never been so sure of my decision to become a superhero as i am now. emilie would hate everything you’ve become”
and then just. walks away to go talk to nathalie
hesperia: i have no idea who you are but you clearly care about adrien a great deal. my counterpart is clearly a terrible father and i hope that this will be the catalyst he needs to turn his life around and make better choices but i wish to express my gratitude that adrien still has one good parent in this universe
nathalie: [has no idea how to respond to that]
i think at that point they maybe just. all leave? lb&cn promise to come back tomorrow to explain everything nathalie missed and like, talk things over with gabriel and figure out how they’re going to handle, you know, The Everything, but hesperia & toxinelle&griffe noire all kind of want to go home, and alya is still waiting for an update from marinette, and it’s really late and she and chat noir are really tired, and gabriel doesn’t have any miraculouses or adrien’s amoks so there’s kind of nothing he can do overnight (which nathalie confirms) so they all just. leave
(chat noir included because there is no way in hell he is sleeping in the same house as his father tonight, even with nathalie on his side)
they all have their nice little goodbye as the sun rises same as canon, hesperia/ex-toxinelle/ex-griffe noire leave, the portal closes, and au alya & nino on one side and regular alya on the other simultaneously ask what on earth they missed
(the whole time all this is going down other alya and nino being like oh fuck, we are fucked, what are we gonna do now
and then hesperia walks in and somehow their terrifying enemies are on their side and probably making out
hesperia: that other world is incredible
nino: no kidding? what?
alternately, hesperia walks through the portal with them and they obviously realize that these are good versions of their villains but
nino: hesperia did you steal their heroes and leave that world our villains
alya: that’s amazing and we need them but as a journalist, I have to question the ethics of this)
anyway ladybug drags chat noir home with her and alya—he admits he didn’t actually know where he was going to sleep, just Not Home, and she’s like “lmao yeah that’s what i thought, this way, chaton, you’re coming home with me”
alya: i missed an identity reveal?
ladybug & chat noir: look honestly that’s like, probably not even top ten things you missed tonight
also once they realize how late (well, early) it is, adrien does try to leave bc like, they have school, he needs to go home and get ready, and marinette and alya are both like “lmao no you are taking a sick day, we’ll tell mme bustier for you, you are staying in marinette’s room and taking a nap”
(he tries to protest bc marinette’s been awake just as long but they argue him down and make him promise he won’t go home until marinette gets back from school & can go with him, which honestly deep down he’s pretty happy to agree to)
and tbh, there’s still things unresolved with felix, and nathalie and alya still don’t know the half of things, but i feel like the ending of the canon paris special is about as good as it gets?
so chat noir is talked into staying home from school for a day to take a nap, marinette promises they’ll talk about everything when she gets home from school and flicks his bell affectionately, he detransforms, alya tries not to lose her entire mind, and marinette and alya head downstairs to eat breakfast before school on exactly 0 sleep, roll credits