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Kaidan traced the lines of black ink on Nyx's arms, wondering what inspired the art. Wispy lines reminiscent of magic–or biotics even–were painted on the muscled arms, weaving together with the long since faded scars of war that also made their home on his skin. Perhaps they were a sign of his biotics, a way of showing them off without being able to do it himself, the First Contact War veteran too old in comparison to the first gen.
He knew the story behind the bird on his neck. A phoenix, a nickname gained from his service during the war. Able to repair damn near anything related to tech, but also, he bounced back from what should've been his end. But he didn't know the story behind the black ink swirling on his arms.
What would they feel like, alongside his, joining as one, combining mnemonics and dark energy to control the battlefield? Or will he ever know them beyond secret moments of pleasure, flashes of blue held back by years of control and a custom amp and implant designed to keep him safe?
Kaidan hated that he didn't know the answer.
A dark part of him, the jealous part that came about after learning about Nyx's history with Hackett couldn't help but fill his veins with cold ice.
Hackett may not be a biotic, but he was probably more acquainted with Nyx's biotics than Kaidan will ever be.
But, as Kaidan let himself be held in his arms, listening to his breathing in the warm Noveria hotel room, he wouldn't trade this for anything. Oh, now, did that scare him. Committing himself so readily to a man that was so damn complicated in every way.
It's not like Kaidan himself was any different in some ways. Nyx knows about BAaT, but he also doesn't know every sordid bit of Kaidan's past either.
Maybe he can trade another story for a story from him. That kind of thing Nyx seemed to like. Games and equivalency.
“What's going on in that pretty head of yours?” Nyx asked, kissing the top of his head.
Kaidan rolled his eyes. “Just thinking.”
“About…? Feels like after that first night we fucked. You getting that wash cloth and looking like it held all the answers.”
And he was thinking about what he thought he saw then. Biotics. It always goes back to biotics with them.
“I was thinking about your ink,” Kaidan said honestly. “I know the story behind your neck, but is there one for your arms?”
“Is that why you were feeling me up?” He chuckled, and yet again, Kaidan found himself rolling his eyes at Nyx. “Didn’t your mother ever warn you that your eyes could get stuck that way?”
“You're the reason why I keep doing it, asshole.”
Nyx was deflecting, he could tell, falling back to teasing.
“Fair enough. Well… they do have some meaning,” he began, raising up an arm, the right, the one with the wisps and orbs and dark calligraphy strokes that went up to his shoulder. “To hide the scars of war, yes, but also… to show off what I wish I could be open with.”
He was surprised he didn’t ask about Kaidan’s ink in return, the blue lines and loops starting at his shoulder, wrapping around the side of his chest, connecting down to his side and ending on his leg.
Carefully done to be hidden under his uniform, but always a surprise when it’s revealed in between missions and changing for showers.
It was even lined with eezo activated ink. Stung like hell when overlaying it, but with the right amount of biotic energy, they could glow.
Kaidan had deduced that correctly, then. “They are beautiful. Reminds me of biotics, and after you told me about you–”
“Want to see my biotics?” Nyx interrupted without missing a beat. “See if they live up to my ink?”
Kaidan blinked, not expecting him to offer that up so readily. “Are you sure?”
“We’re in a hotel room in Noveria. About as anonymous as we can get.” He cupped Kaidan’s face. “I’m sure. I see yours nearly every day. I wish you could see mine in the same way.”
“I wish you could show them off, too,” Kaidan replied, leaning into his touch. “How many know?”
“Hackett, as you already know. Doctor Chakwas, but only the basics. My asari doc on Omega that got me my amps in the first place…” he trailed off. “Anyone else who has seen them is dead.” Kaidan wondered how far that went. Dead from spec ops missions iron-clad by levels of classification? Soldiers he fought in the First Contact War?
Or dead because he didn’t want this secret getting out?
It’s not an answer Kaidan needs to know.
No mention of his family, either. He knew Nyx had a decently sized one on Earth, lots of cousins and aunts and uncles but was an only child.
Probably didn’t want to put any of them in danger or risk it. Kaidan couldn’t fault him for that.
“So, where do I fit in that prestigious list?”
“As my lover who understands what it’s like to be a biotic,” he replied, leaning in to brush a kiss against his lips. “I’ve given you my dagger story. I guess this is the next best thing.”
“No games this time?”
“No,” he shook his head, cheeks turning a beautiful shade of red. “No games.”
Nyx threw the covers off himself and got out of the bed with a stretch and a groan. They’ve been lazy this evening, watching shitty vids picked up by the signal of the windscreen in the admittedly fancy hotel room. Apparently, after dealing with Peak 15, the leadership on Novera was happy to fund them for a few days.
Nyx twisted his wrist before cupping his fingers, a mnemonic Kaidan didn’t recognize. And then, he felt the cool rush of a barrier and watched as an icy blue enveloped Nyx in a soft light, pulsing in and out until stabilizing in mobile wisps. Icy blue. Not the usual blue, not the rare purple–one such biotic he knew in the past had the brightest of purple biotics he had never seen before until that fateful night on Omega–but a nearly icy white blue.
It was beautiful. "Gorgeous," Kaidan said, hoping his awe was clear, mesmerized by the glow.
Nyx smiled under the attention. His deep violet eyes were rimmed with light blue, making them even more piercing in the low light of the hotel room. Kaidan got up and walked towards him, taking the hem of Nyx’s tank top in hand, feeling his biotics spark against his skin.
Kaidan activated his own barrier in turn, a quick, sharp flick of the wrist, mingling the icy blue with his own cobalt.
“Go ahead,” Nyx murmured. “Skin to skin.”
With a nod, Kaidan pulled off his tank top and leaned in for a kiss. Nyx pulled him in closer, gasping at the sensation of their biotics mingling in further, skin against skin, corona against corona, blue against blue.
“This is…” he trailed off after they broke apart, a sting of saliva connecting them briefly. “It feels amazing,” he breathed, eyes flicking up to meet Kaidan’s. “And your tattoos, shit, your eezo ink is burning even brighter.”
They sure were. Always a soft glow under the force of one corona, with two, they could easily light up a dark room.
Nyx’s biotics were sharp, volatile, and cold as ice. But there was a hint of something lurking underneath, a sensation he could only describe as pure Nyx. A hint of playfulness buried under layers of ice.
“Never been able to be open with a biotic before, right?” Kaidan said quietly, moving his hand to cup the back of Nyx’s neck.
“I told you my list,” he recalled with a soft laugh. “My memory isn’t that bad, yet.”
“Just making conversation, love,” Kaidan replied, pecking him on the lips. “This is what’s its like. A mingling of power, of feeling, of who you are. Been a few years since my last.”
“And what was that like?”
“He was an L2 like me, but avoided BAaT and the Alliance. A merc on Omega,” Kaidan began, memories playing back in his head. “An arrogant, confident spitfire already having a lover of his own, but he and his partner saved my ass on Omega after an… ill-advised shore leave.”
Nyx laughed. “Ah, so you aren’t a perfect little Alliance golden boy.”
“Never said I was,” Kaidan said, rolling his eyes. “I guess I do act like one on the surface.”
“Nothing wrong with that, baby. Tell me more.”
Kaidan hummed, always liking that endearment tinged with Nyx’s Southern accent, coming out in moments like these. “I’m a good poker player. Too good, because I ended up having the vorcha mafia on my ass after winning 5,000 credits and a damn good bottle of whiskey. I apparently angered a target they were trying to get a hit on and well… we allied and I temporarily gained some new friends and lovers for a short while.”
“You sound like you miss it,” Nyx said, furrowing his eyebrows. “What happened?”
Kaidan shook his head, leaning in to kiss him once more. “Maybe a little. Never met anyone quite like them… but remember that nasty bug that impacted the Logic Arrest OS back in their v5.0 revision?”
Nyx let out a whistle. “Unfortunately. Wiped some of your data?”
“Yeah, any contacts I added since my last backup. Which I hadn’t run since I updated to the latest OS even after waiting for all the Day 0 shit to be fixed. But, I can’t exactly be sad about losing them.”
“And why is that?”
“Well, I wouldn’t have had this with you,” Kaidan replied with a wink.
Nyx shook his head. “Should’ve seen that coming. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Thank you for showing me,” Kaidan said, wanting to guide him back to the bed, but Nyx stayed in place.
“You’re welcome. You deserve to know. I’ve been trying to pick up some of the stuff you do out in the field, but since I mostly learned asari-based mnemonics, the shit you do is beyond me,” Nyx said, looking a little bashful. “I curse my biotics sometimes. I want to be out and open with them, but I just can’t take that risk. Don’t know if I ever can.”
Kaidan didn’t know what to say to that and only pulled him in closer into a hug as a response. Nyx seemed to appreciate it, squeezing him tightly and resting his chin on his shoulder. “One day, I’ll find out how this happened to me.”
“And then…?”
“All I want to do is put that mystery to rest. Sometimes I wonder if it was just that fucking dirty bomb that the turians laced. But sometimes I wonder if it was just me. Something in my genetics or whatever. I kept hoping that damn beacon would unlock some mystery but…” he let out a sigh and hushed his corona. “I may never know.”
“Maybe we will find something out here,” Kaidan whispered. “Or maybe we won’t. But trust that no matter what happens, your secret is mine.”
“I haven’t said this to many people, but I trust you. Felt like I always had right from the beginning. Guess after knowing about your own history, I know why. Kindred spirits with a past we don’t like getting out.”
Kaidan closed his eyes. “I suppose we are. Come on. Let’s get back under the covers.”
“Sounds good.” Nyx stepped back, eyeing him up and down. “But first, want to get washed up with me in that giant tub?” He motioned behind him with his thumb, grinning.
The aura in the room had changed. Quiet vulnerability to heated tension in a second. Nyx was always a little too good at changing the mood.
Kaidan returned his grin and held out a hand. “Lead the way, love. Maybe I can show off my biotics some more. You seem to always like it when they come out.”
“That I do. You might need to teach me how to use them in the bedroom,” he said with a laugh, taking his hand and walking him over to the bathroom. “Only know the combat shit.”
“Ah, you see, Nyx. Everything I do is the ‘combat shit’ just altered a little.” Kaidan punctuated his statement by igniting his corona just enough to cause a reaction in his tattoos and rim his eyes. “This is just a barrier with weakened strength. Might need to teach you all about control.”
Nyx swallowed but recovered quickly, nodding with undisguised lust in his eyes. “Trust me, I know all about control. How else do you think I’ve kept this secret this long?”
A flash of blue around his eyes, a bright unmistakable beacon on their first night together. A one night stand turned to more.
He never saw it again until after Nyx told him his secret.
“Two different kinds of control, then. Thought I was the expert on biotics between us, hmm?”
“I’ll concede to that. You’re the boss,” he winked, opening the bathroom door and stepping inside. “And I’m ready for my first lesson.”
Kaidan resisted the urge to shake his head at him and instead smiled at him and followed him inside, closing the door with a soft click.
Another mystery unlocked from Nyx. A story about a dagger, a story about biotics awoken in a man that should be impossible, and a look into the biotics themselves. And Kaidan had told him a few of his own. Already knowing about BAaT, but Nyx didn’t yet know his run–in and threesome until now.
Kaidan looked forward to whatever he was going to find out next about his veteran Commander.