Work Text:
Jeonghan is very careful about their meetings.
He has to make sure he doesn’t stray too much from home, and usually it has to be a place where there’s other people around. For his safety, really. He can’t really trust Seungcheol to remain composed while they’re together. Most of the time, Jeonghan picks restaurants and shops, crowded and in plain sight.
He can’t annoy Seungcheol into buying him food if he doesn’t have backup, after all. So.
Jeonghan is sitting on a stool, scrolling on his phone and sipping mindlessly on some iced tea he picked up when Seungcheol texted him earlier—he’s running late, something about staying behind to discuss something important about his thesis; thank god, for now Jeonghan has a reason to get some free lunch. The convenience store is close to campus, thankfully, which means Seungcheol won’t take long to get there after he’s done. Jeonghan is getting kind of bored, but he prefers to wait around than go back home and keep doing the work he ran away from in the first place. He’s tempted to purchase some sort of snack as he waits, turning around until he abruptly stops.
Usually, Jeonghan is not one to pay attention to people around him; not in a conceited way or anything, but mostly due to his own disregard for his surroundings. Now, as he looks at this beautiful man walking to the register with a few items in one of his—oh, god—admittedly large hands, he makes note to always look around. The guy pays with his phone and walks to the exit, giving Jeonghan a beautiful view of his side profile; he doesn’t want to be delusional, but he thinks the guy might have glanced at him from the corner of his eye.
Seungcheol arrives not a while after that, but Jeonghan’s head is still clouded by thoughts of a pretty man with a pretty nose, pretty lips and pretty everything.
“What’s your deal?” His friend asks him, looking at him weirdly.
Jeonghan sighs dreamily, “You stood me up so I deserve free lunch.”
“You always get lunch on me! I’m talking about your face. You look stupid.”
“I waited for too long. I fell asleep and now I think I’m still dreaming.” Jeonghan says as he gets up. “Let’s go. I feel like having samgyeopsal.”
“You always fucking want that.” Seungcheol grunts but follows along.
He always does.
A few weeks later, Jeonghan finds himself locked out of his apartment.
Fine, he did it to himself by waking up late and rushing out to his office with dirty jeans, a hoodie he picked up from the floor that is most definitely Seungcheol’s, and the bag of his laptop—thankfully with said laptop inside. Thank god he didn’t forget his phone and could pay for breakfast, but sadly, his keys were the sacrifice. Which reminds him that they have to pester their landlord some more so he finally fixes their lock in order to use their code instead of the key card, as they are supposed to. To be fair, he wasn’t supposed to go into the office, and got rudely woken up by his team leader about an intern needing serious help; Jeonghan tries to be a good senior for the most part, but he works from home most days for a reason.
Now, as he keeps patting his pockets with no luck, he decides to call his roommate.
“What do you want?” Seungcheol asks after he picks up.
“Cheollie,” Jeonghan greets him in the sweetest voice possible. “I need to borrow your keys.”
He hears Seungcheol sigh, “What the hell happened?”
“I got called into the office and forgot to take my keys because I had to run. It’s not my fault so you can’t get mad at me.”
“Shit, okay.” Seungcheol might be pouting, judging by the tone of his voice. “Look, I can’t bring them to you. I’m with my study group. Come to the library on campus. I’m on the third floor, room 6. My location is on if you get lost.”
“Okay, I’ll text you when I’m there.”
So Jeonghan makes his way to school. He feels like a student again, wearing clothes he picked up from his bedroom floor and dragging his feet through campus; he graduated three years prior, but he’s been considering grad school as well, seeing how much Seungcheol is enjoying it and the way he brags about the raise he’s going to get with another degree. Jeonghan is content with his salary and his routine, but being a student was fun and he actually enjoys learning about what he does. However, that’s a thought for another day. He wants to get home and nap for at least five hours in retaliation for the morning.
He reaches his destination, texting Seungcheol as he stands outside the private booth. There’s a medium-sized tinted window, but Jeonghan pays it no mind; he wants to grab the keys and leave as soon as possible. Seungcheol opens the door as he laughs at something inside. Jeonghan raises an eyebrow but says nothing, holding out his palm open.
“Woah. You do look like shit.” He says, smiling. “I take it you didn’t get much sleep?”
“Shut up and hand over the keys. I need to go home and pass out.”
“So ungrateful, Hannie.” Seungcheol clicks his tongue and deposits his keychain on Jeonghan’s hand. “I’m gonna get home by 7, so make sure to open the door.”
“We’ll see.” Jeonghan makes a goodbye gesture and turns around to leave, leaving Seungcheol complaining alone.
Jeonghan takes a well deserved nap after a warm shower and after putting on clean, fresh clothes. He wakes up just in time to let his roommate in, and they order food to eat over silly variety shows. It isn’t until Jeonghan grabs his phone for the third time that night to escape from the cringe on the TV when Seungcheol speaks up.
“So… There's this guy in my study group.”
Jeonghan perks up at that. “Are you finally over that one girl?”
“I’ve been over her for a while, you know.” Seungcheol throws a napkin crumpled into a ball at him. “He saw you earlier and asked about you. Said you were cute. I was wondering if you were okay with me giving him your number.”
“You’ve never asked me that before. What’s the catch?”
Seungcheol shrugs, and Jeonghan already feels uncomfortable with what’s coming. “I mean, you haven’t really gone out with anyone since Hy—”
“And what about it?” Jeonghan interrupts, leaning on his elbow.
“You’re such a kid. He’s nice to me.”
“I should be mad at you for staying friends with my exes.”
Seungcheol snorts, “I’m really only friends with Mingyu, and you’re literally friends with him too.”
“Does he even count?” Jeonghan purses his lips.
“He baked for your sister. He definitely counts.”
Jeonghan thinks about it for a moment. His relationship with Mingyu had been nice; they used to argue a lot until they realized they just wanted to sleep together, and that escalated into dates, and that into an actual relationship. Jeonghan can proudly say they were truly happy then, but as time passed, they realized they couldn’t continue. Mingyu wanted to be out in the world, while Jeonghan wanted to stay; it wasn’t anything bad, and they decided to end things before it was too late. Thankfully, their feelings hadn’t reached a point of no return, so their friendship remained unchanged afterwards. Now, Mingyu shares his life with a nice partner that has the same goals as him, and Jeonghan roots for them wholeheartedly, even.
With Hyungchul, though, things were very different. Jeonghan remembers asking for his doctor’s number—the one that pushed his bone back into its socket with a smile, because Jeonghan is weird like that and Seungcheol encouraged him—and feeling the butterflies and the excitement when Hyungchul agreed. He felt over the moon during their first date, and all the ones that came after that. Hyungchul made sure Jeonghan was loved and happy, and Jeonghan reciprocated just as much. Or so Jeonghan thinks. He realizes now that things started going south after he noticed the drawer full of Hyungchul’s things in his apartment; Seungcheol said it was normal, given that their relationship was entering serious territory. Jeonghan remembers being unsure, but he brushed it off and decided it was normal, that couples get serious after a full year of being together. He thought that was what he wanted.
He figures he shouldn’t have ignored the way he locked himself in the bathroom at Hyungchul’s apartment the first time he invited his parents over to meet Jeonghan, trying to fight the panic attack prickling everywhere. He shouldn’t have ignored the way Hyungchul had to leave early in one of Jeonghan’s weekend mandatory basketball games with his friends—and every single one of them, really. Somehow, he was always on call during those days. He shouldn’t have ignored that they stopped being intimate as often, or that he didn’t look forward to their dates as much as he did in the beginning. He didn’t realize the anxiety crawling all over his body every time Hyungchul’s car pulled over in front of his building, mistaking it for nervousness over meeting his perfect boyfriend. Jeonghan rarely paid as much attention to himself as he did to others, therefore ignoring the ache in his chest, and the terrifying sadness and misery he felt from giving too much of himself to something he never wanted in the first place.
In a way, Jeonghan thinks he did love Hyungchul—just not in the way Hyungchul loved him. He said as much when he kindly broke things off, rejecting Hyungchul’s offer to move in together. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t amicable either. They both said some things they shouldn’t have, but Jeonghan couldn’t blame either of them.
He can’t blame Seungcheol for thinking he isn’t ready for anything new—it’s been barely half a year since the breakup, and while Jeonghan is happy again, his best friend can’t guess if he wants to try things out romantically just yet.
“I don’t know. About the number thing.” Jeonghan admits. “I think I just want to be casual, at least for now.”
Jeonghan doesn’t say it, but people their age are rather obsessed with serious relationships and marriage and mortgages. Seungcheol seems to understand where he’s coming from and why Jeonghan seems reluctant to risk it. He doesn’t know that Jeonghan is planning to camp at a convenience store just for a chance to see the beautiful man he saw the other day again, but that’s an insane thought Jeonghan can keep to himself.
“He didn’t ask, but I guess he was waiting for me to suggest it. He’s a good guy, though.”
“Why don’t you ask him out, then?”
Seungcheol stretches out his arm to push Jeonghan, “We are just classmates. I guess I could’ve when we met but I dunno. He’s, you know, cool. I feel lame when I’m next to him, and he always has stuff going on so…”
Jeonghan snorts but decides to drop the subject before Seungcheol tries to get all sentimental on him. “I’m having lunch with Seokmin tomorrow and I don’t want to see you balls out in the kitchen when I come back.”
“I’m gonna be writing some essays so I might go to the library. Stop thinking about my balls.”
Jeonghan smirks. “You got some pretty nice balls there. I don’t wanna see them though. Not soon.”
Seungcheol makes a face that sends Jeonghan into full laughter. “Stop being gross!”
As Jeonghan comes back from his lunch with Seokmin, he feels rather tired. He stayed up very late working on some codes that should’ve been revised by the interns, but he guesses they thought nothing was wrong with them or the bugs simply slipped from their grasp. He’s gonna have to stop by the office more often, sadly, and see whether these interns are just there to waste his time or to actually work. Lunch was fun, but it also took a lot of energy from him—he adores Seokmin, he really does, but he has too much energy, and Jeonghan can hardly keep up with it on his own.
Now, he drags his feet on his parking lot, into his building, counting his steps until he can fall onto his couch and zone out. He feels his phone buzzing in his pocket so he takes it out, looking at the texts he just received as his other hand presses on the button of the elevator.
seokmin-ah
hyung!!!:((
i left my jacket in your car…
can you come back please??
i’ll pay u back i promise!!
i have an audition and practice so i need it!! it has my wallet!!!!
Jeonghan sighs, and just as he’s about to turn around and walk back to his car, he crashes onto someone. He winces as he hears a loud thud on the floor—clearly a phone, and he hopes the damage isn’t too bad because it’s not his own. He sees the device a few meters from him and the other person, but the screen doesn’t look cracked, so he looks up to apologize.
But then, he stops.
“Are you okay?” The man asks. The beautiful man from the convenience store the other day. And if Jeonghan didn’t believe in fate five seconds ago, he does now.
“Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” He replies as he reaches out to the phone, noticing how the man stops himself from doing it too with a sheepish expression on his face.
“It’s fine, really.” He takes his phone from Jeonghan’s hand—and boy, if he doesn’t have beautiful hands. “I guess the world really didn’t want me getting a cab home.”
Jeonghan sees as he holds up his phone—he keeps pressing on the side button, but the device is completely dead. “Oh god, I’m really sorry. How can I pay you back? Let me transfer you for a new one.”
The man laughs, and it’s such a nice sound it actually takes Jeonghan’s breath away. “You’re fine, I swear. My phone was at 1% battery already, I just need to charge it. I was hoping I could get a cab before it died.”
“Oh,” Jeonghan feels his cheeks warm up, because he does see how the screen shows the red battery symbol sporadically, and he realizes he panicked a little. “I’m sorry, again. For the phone, and the cab.”
“Stop apologizing,” the man pockets his phone and looks at him, tilting his head. “You’re… Seungcheol’s roommate, right?”
Jeonghan is taken aback, “Yes? How do you…?”
“We have a research project together. My name is Joshua. I was just with him, actually.” The man—Joshua—looks amused.
“Oh, I didn’t know he was having someone over.”
“I just came by to pick up a textbook he forgot to give me back. I’m sorry to take up your time, by the way. I’ll get going, I hope to see you around someday.” He smiles gently and starts walking.
“Wait, you said you couldn’t get a cab.” Jeonghan raises his voice a little, just so Joshua stops walking. “I can drive you, as an apology. I need to go out again anyway.”
Joshua seems to think about it, “Isn’t that too much trouble?”
“Not at all. Come on.” Jeonghan gestures for Joshua to follow, and thankfully, he does.
After Joshua puts in his address on Jeonghan’s phone so he can follow the GPS in the car, Joshua looks curiously at him.
“What do you do? If it’s not inappropriate of me to ask.”
“I’m a programmer.”
“So… you play that one game Seungcheol plays too?”
Jeonghan snorts. “No, but I guess that’s the stereotype for the people in my area.”
“Definitely. I think of programmers and I think of people who play games for others on the internet and get paid for it. Actually, that doesn’t sound that bad.”
“Well, I refuse to look at my computer unless it’s for work. Are you good at games?” Jeonghan shoots back.
Joshua looks forward, hiding a smile. “Not those games.”
“And what do you do? Aside from being in grad school.”
“I’m a writer for a magazine in America. I wanted a change of scenery so I decided to further my education here instead of home.” Joshua says, and Jeonghan can appreciate the rich response coming out of him voluntarily.
“So you’re from America.”
“Yup. We have horrible delivery service in takeout, by the way.” Joshua replies, very seriously.
“How long do they take there?”
“About 40 minutes, if you’re lucky.”
“That’s not the American dream I was expecting.”
Joshua laughs, “Is that the standard?”
“Of course. Getting your meals delivered as fast as possible should be anyone’s standard.”
“Or you can cook.”
“And wait more than 40 minutes before I can sit down to eat? Pass.” Jeonghan smiles.
“Fair enough. I sometimes get too tired from cooking that I don’t feel hungry anymore when my food is ready.” Joshua says in a way that shouldn’t be cute for a man in his mid-twenties—assuming he’s the same age as Seungcheol and Jeonghan.
“Does that mean you cook a lot?”
“I try to eat at home as much as I can. I like cooking.”
“Well, you have that in common with Cheollie.”
“He does seem like the type.” Joshua nods. “Do you cook?”
Jeonghan hums in thought, “I can do it if I have the recipe, and the energy.”
“I’m assuming that’s rare.” Joshua teases.
“Indeed.”
They talk some more about their usual food orders, or their most embarrassing moment with a delivery person—turns out, Jeonghan’s story with the onesie and 10 orders of tteokbokki isn’t that bad after all—and their conversation is going so well that Jeonghan dreads the fact that his navigation app is telling him they’re almost at Joshua’s place, because he wants to keep talking to him.
“This is me,” Joshua points at one of the buildings, and Jeonghan stops his car at the front. They turn to look at each other. “Thank you so much for the ride. You really didn’t have to.”
“It’s okay. I enjoyed your stories.” Jeonghan says, surprisingly honest.
“I could’ve shared more, but that would be a total waste of gas.”
“You should give me your number, then. So you can tell me more.”
Joshua smiles then, and Jeonghan feels a shiver run down his spine. “I don’t think you want it, actually. Take care, and thank you again. Bye!”
He jumps out of the car and speedwalks into the building, leaving Jeonghan confused and, if he’s being completely honest, hurt from the straightforward rejection.
As soon as he gets back home, he’s all over Seungcheol.
Who has the fucking nerve to cackle at him. “Oh my god! Did he really say that? Holy shit.”
Jeonghan narrows his eyes, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It makes sense.” Seungcheol is still chuckling as he speaks. “You didn’t want me to give him your number.”
“Wait, what? Joshua was the one who asked about me?”
“Didn’t I mention it?” Seungcheol looks like he’s having the time of his life. “American, handsome, funny. I think he’s secretly evil.”
“You’re awful.” Jeonghan plops on the couch, hiding his face on one of the cushions.
Seungcheol doesn’t say more, even if he still chuckles softly for a moment before he goes back to his work. They remain in silence for a while; Seungcheol is quietly typing on his laptop and Jeonghan is breathing, thinking.
“Cheollie.”
“Mmm?”
“Do you think he didn’t want my number anymore because he saw that I don’t have child-bearing hips?”
“Get out.”
Jeonghan is on his third jelly pouch, sucking on it with fervor. He stares at the puzzle on his coffee table as if it offended him, trying to gather the energy to reach out and pick up more pieces to keep going. His blonde hair is still damp from the shower, wetting his shirt from how long it is, and his sweatpants aren’t warm enough yet. He likes to pretend he’s a more interesting person than he actually is so the record player Wonwoo gifted him for his last birthday is playing one of the records his mom mailed him when she cleaned up her closet; he also poured some wine in one of the paw mugs Seungcheol and him bought as a joke because they don’t own proper glasses—Jeonghan doesn’t really like wine so it’s just sitting there, waiting to be spilled or evaporated.
He’s about to get the inspiration to place various pieces in their respective spots when the door chimes open, playing the shitty song Jeonghan can’t mute. He doesn’t need to look up to know it’s his roommate.
“Cheollie-yah, I want to be an astronaut. The suits look very comfortable.”
“I’m not Seungcheol, but I do agree the space suits look cozy.”
Jeonghan jolts at the voice, looking up immediately and secretly celebrating that he decided to be pretentious for a night. Joshua is taking off his shoes, looking as if he belongs in the apartment—and Jeonghan thinks he should. His mind doesn’t register that it’s weird that Joshua just got into his apartment, for it’s busy imagining a future where he always does it (Jeonghan feels just a little crazy; he had one conversation with the man and he already wants to live with him).
“What are you doing here?” Jeonghan asks, unable to hide his surprise.
Joshua looks confused, “Seungcheol said you needed help with translating something for work and that you knew I was coming over to help. He’s coming in a bit too.”
Jeonghan automatically wants to curse his roommate for being so nosy, for setting him up and for knowing Joshua for god knows how long without saying anything. He looks at Joshua’s face, who looks back with a hint of embarrassment but mostly amusement at the situation, which means he probably just guessed what happened. He’s gorgeous, devastating, and a thousand adjectives more that Jeonghan can’t think of because he really just wants to kiss Joshua.
“I’m sorry,” he ends up saying, standing up from the couch. “Seungcheol is an idiot.”
“Well,” Joshua puts his weight on one leg. “I did think it was weird he just gave me his keys and ushered me here. I guess I’ll just leave now.”
Jeonghan steps towards him, “No, don’t leave. I’m sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for?” He looks confused.
“Seungcheol told me you asked about me but he didn’t say anything else so I was unsure because listening to him has never done me any favors.” Jeonghan says everything in a rush, not even caring anymore that he probably looks desperate. “Had I known it was you, I would’ve offered my everything.”
Joshua seems to be taken aback at his words, but he relaxes quickly and chuckles. Jeonghan doesn’t know what to think. “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to make you feel so distressed over this.”
“I really did want to ask you out.” Jeonghan adds, just to embarrass himself all the way now that he’s here.
Joshua puts his arms behind his back, looking at Jeonghan up and down,—who is glad he chose to wear his best pair of sweatpants just to feel a little better about himself, even if he has the lamest thoughts—and tilts his head.
“Ask me out now.” He ends up saying, steady and determined.
“I meant it.”
“Me too.”
Jeonghan studies Joshua’s face for a moment before he breaks into a small laugh.
“Go out with me. I think I’d still like you even if you push my shoulder out of its socket.”
“Even if I accidentally receive our takeout with your dildo in my hand?” Joshua smiles.
“As long as you don’t invite the delivery person in, sure.”
Joshua laughs, eyes closing and curving beautifully. Jeonghan is impossibly gone.
Jeonghan looks at the bed, or rather the bump in the middle of his mattress. He just came home from work, one of the rare days he had to be at the office, and he feels a little more tired than he would any other day.
“Are you cold?” He asks, flat.
Joshua grunts, turning his face around. “Not at all. I’m rolled up here because I was touching myself and you interrupted me.”
“Really?”
“No, idiot. It’s too cold. When is your landlord going to fix the heater?” Joshua complains, a little too cute.
Jeonghan strips off his jacket and throws himself at the bed, atop of Joshua. “I don’t know, I don’t care. You keep me warm enough.”
“Is that why you always want me to stay over?” Joshua narrows his eyes at Jeonghan, clutching his fingers tighter on the edge of the comforter.
“It’s because I hate to miss you, Shuji.” Jeonghan singsongs, nuzzling his face on Joshua’s cheek. He peppers kisses where his mouth can reach, bothering his warm and cozy boyfriend. “Pay attention to me.”
Joshua keeps his eyes closed. “You’re a mosquito, did you know?”
“Mosquito? I’d say vampire, instead. I like biting you and sucking your blood.”
“Mosquito.” Joshua reaffirms, pulling one of his hands out of the comforter and setting it on Jeonghan’s head. He’s wearing a soft sweater, and Jeonghan makes a mental note to steal it sometime. “Always pestering me and buzzing around.”
“Well, you’re a maggot.”
Joshua snorts and finally looks at Jeonghan, smiling softly and puckering his lips. Jeonghan follows the command and kisses him, sighing as Joshua reciprocates. Every time they kiss, Jeonghan feels as if he’s coming home. It’s been almost a year and he thinks he’s never gonna have enough, with the way Joshua keeps him on his toes and making sure Jeonghan stays obsessed with him.
“Did you have a nice day?” Joshua asks when he pulls back, cupping Jeonghan’s cheek and smiling again when he leans into his hand.
“No. It was awful. You didn’t text me the entire day.” Jeonghan buries his face on Joshua’s chest, cuddling up against him, uncaring of the fact that he’s still in his outdoor clothes.
“You said you were going to be very busy and I didn’t want to bother you.” Joshua explains, hugging back. “I missed you too, baby.”
Jeonghan feels himself blush at the pet name, and he’s glad Joshua can’t see his face. “Really? Show me then. My shoulder hurts.”
His boyfriend straightens up, immediately looking worried. “Really? Do you want me to set up an appointment with a doctor?”
Jeonghan shakes his head, and tries to shake the butterflies fluttering in his stomach at Joshua’s concern over him, “Not yet. It only hurts because it’s cold. I can survive with the ointment your mom recommended.”
“Tell me if it gets bad, okay?” Joshua pecks him before he gets up, letting Jeonghan fall onto the sheets. “You should wash up so we can order dinner.”
“Is Cheollie home? Will he eat with us? I didn’t see him when I came in.” Jeonghan hugs his pillow, unwilling to leave the comfort of the bed Joshua warmed up for him.
“He’s out with Seungkwan.” Joshua pulls a hoodie out of the closet and changes out of his sweater, putting the new clothes on. He’s wearing a pair of Jeonghan’s sweatpants, and that makes Jeonghan smile because Joshua rarely wears his clothes. “What do you want to have tonight? We can order whatever you want.”
“Choose for me, Shuji. I’m too tired to think.” Jeonghan sees his boyfriend throw some clothes for him at the foot of the bed. “Hey, Shua-yah.”
“What?” Joshua grabs his phone from Jeonghan’s dresser, most likely to look for what to order.
“I love you.”
Joshua comes closer and leans in to press a kiss on Jeonghan’s forehead. “Get up. I won’t fall for your schemes.”
“I raised you well.” Jeonghan laughs.
“Sure.” Joshua walks away, humming a song as he gets out of the room and leaves Jeonghan laying there, painfully in love and craving even more of Joshua; something Jeonghan didn’t think possible, even if his friends always point out just how awfully smitten he is and how worse he gets every time they see him.
It’s alright, though. At the end of the day, he gets to cuddle Joshua to sleep, and that makes everything worth it.