Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sylvia walks into the bedroom she shares with Adam, humming happily to herself. Adam is lounging on the bed, reading something.

"There you are, my thick bratwurst!" Sylvia cooed.

"Uh, hey babe." Adam said, uninterested.

Sylvia climbs onto the bed next to him, running her hands over his body.

"Mmm, you're so big and juicy, I could just gobble you right up." Sylvia moaned.

"Hah, yeah you know it baby." Adam said.

She starts kissing along his jawline.

"I crave the taste of you, my meaty Emperor sausage. Every thick, pulsing inch." Her hands roam lower. "I fantasize about unhinging my jaw, taking that gorgeous kielbasa down my throat until I gag on it, tears streaming down my cheeks."

Adam raises an eyebrow, "Uh, okay Sylvie, maybe ease off a little there..." 

Sylvia straddles him, grinding against him. "I dream of being utterly split open and overflowing with your potent seed, my insides painted pure white with your virile batter."

Her eyes are wide, slightly manic. "I yearn to birth a litany of your thick, purplish-headed sons, to be endlessly pumped full of your spectacular nut butter day and night!" 

"Yo, what the fuck?" Adam asked disturbed. Sylvia licks a long stripe up his neck. 

"I want to be ruined, my guy-cave packed to the cervix with your fleshy kielbasa until I become nothing but a gasping, quivering cock-sock for your rut!" she cooed.

"Aaaand that's enough of that. I'm gonna go train now..." Adam said, he pushes her off and scrambles away, deeply unsettled.

Chapter Text

Adam sauntered into the lavish bedchamber, stretching his muscular arms over his head with a satisfied groan after a day's hard training. As he entered, Sylvia turned from where she had been lounging on the balcony, the sheer fabric of her negligee gown swirling seductively around her lithe form.

"There's my king," she purred, gliding over to him with feline grace. "Did you work up an...appetite today?"

Her azure eyes shone with a mixture of adoration and something darker as she pressed herself against him, running her hands over the hard planes of his body.

Adam grinned wolfishly and pulled her flush against him, feeling her curves mold to his physique. "For you? Always, baby."

He bent down to roughly capture her full lips in a searing kiss. Sylvia responded eagerly at first, but then abruptly broke away, placing a delicate finger over his mouth to hush him.

"Before we...indulge," she said in a low, dangerous tone that contradicted her sweet expression. "I want to be absolutely clear about something."

Adam raised an inquisitive eyebrow as Sylvia trailed her fingers down the sculpted contours of his chest and abs almost reverentially. When she reached the waistband of his breeches, her hand closed in a vice-like grip.

"This...all of you..." she hissed, tightening her grip until her knuckles turned white. "It belongs to me. Only me."

She jerked him violently closer until their faces were mere inches apart, her sweet breath fanning across his skin.

"If I so much as hear a whisper of you spilling your seed in any other...impure vessel..." Sylvia licked her lips slowly as her eyes blazed with unhinged possessiveness. "Well...let's just say I know ways to make even an archangel beg for death's sweet release."

With her other hand, she caressed Adam's cheek with deceptive tenderness as he stared at her, stunned by the intensity of her threat. Sylvia maintained her sickly sweet smile, but there was no mistaking the sinister promise in her words.

After a tense moment, she released her grip and the facade of the blushing wife returned in an instant.

"But I know you'd never stray, my love," Sylvia cooed, booping his nose playfully. "Because you're mine. My perfect, devoted husband."

She turned and sashayed away, leaving Adam to exhale the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He unconsciously readjusted himself as an odd mixture of fear, arousal, and admiration for his unhinged wife washed over him.

Chapter Text

The celestial moonlight filters through the curtains of Adam and Sylvia's bedroom, casting a soft glow over the sleeping form of Adam. Sylvia sits beside him, propped up on one elbow, her blue eyes fixed on his face with an intensity that borders on unsettling.

She reaches out, tracing the contours of his face with a feather-light touch, committing every detail to memory. Adam stirs slightly but doesn't wake, his breathing deep and even.

Sylvia's mind is racing, filled with thoughts of their life together, their eternal love. She imagines their future stretching out before them, an endless expanse of blissful matrimony. The thought fills her with a fierce joy, but also a creeping sense of unease. The idea of ever losing Adam, of him ever straying from her side, is too terrible to contemplate.

As the night wears on, Sylvia remains awake, her gaze never wavering from Adam's sleeping face. She doesn't feel tired; she rarely does these days. All that matters is being near Adam, watching over him, making sure he's safe and loved.

Hours pass, and the first rays of celestial dawn begin to peek through the windows. Adam stirs, his eyes fluttering open. He blinks in surprise when he sees Sylvia staring down at him.

"Babe?" he mumbles, his voice thick with sleep. "What time is it? Have you been awake all night?"

Sylvia smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Oh, you know me, darling. I just couldn't bear to miss a moment of your handsome face."

Adam frowns slightly, a flicker of concern crossing his features. "Sylvia, you need to sleep. It's not healthy to stay up all night."

Sylvia's smile turns brittle. "I'm fine, love. I don't need as much sleep as you do. Besides, someone has to watch over you, make sure nothing happens to you."

There's an odd intensity to her words that makes Adam shift uncomfortably. "Babe, I'm fine. We're safe here. You don't need to-"

"Shh," Sylvia cuts him off, placing a finger on his lips. "Don't worry about me, darling. I'm just doing my duty as your wife."

She leans down, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. "Now, why don't you get up and start your day? I'll just rest my eyes for a bit."

Adam hesitates, but ultimately nods, slipping out of bed and heading to the bathroom. Sylvia watches him go, her eyes tracking his every move. Once the bathroom door closes behind him, she allows herself to relax slightly, sinking back into the pillows.

As she drifts off to sleep, Sylvia's last thought is of Adam, and how she will always be there, watching over him, loving him, no matter what. Forever and always, until the end of eternity itself.

Chapter Text

The scene opens on a grand, opulent wedding in Heaven. Angels from all over have gathered to witness the union of Adam, the first man, and Sylvia, his third wife. As the couple stands at the altar, the officiant nods to Adam, signaling him to begin his vows.

"Sylvia, babe, you're the hottest piece of angel ass I've ever seen. I mean, damn, those curves, those eyes... I knew from the moment I saw you that I had to make you mine. I promise to rock your world every night, to keep you satisfied in ways no other angel could. I'm gonna be the best fucking husband ever, and our sex life is gonna be legendary. I love you, babe, and I can't wait to start our forever together." Adam said, making Sylvia smile.

The guests exchange shocked and uncomfortable glances, some coughing awkwardly. The officiant, looking slightly mortified, turns to Sylvia.

Officiant clears his throat, "And now, Sylvia, your vows." he said.

Sylvia gazed at Adam with intense adoration. "Adam, my love, my everything. From the moment our eyes met, I knew that our souls were destined to be intertwined for eternity. I vow to love you with a passion that borders on obsession, to cherish you with a devotion that some might call unhinged. I will be your loyal wife, your devoted servant, your unquestioning follower. I will eliminate anyone who dares to come between us, anyone who threatens our perfect love." Sylvia's eyes grow possessive, slightly unnerving Adam. Then her eyes went back to simply being loving, "You are mine, Adam, just as I am yours... forever and always, in this life and the next." 

The guests' discomfort intensifies, some shifting in their seats and averting their eyes. The officiant, now visibly unsettled, hastily moves to conclude the ceremony.

"Uh... by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." the officiant said.

Adam grabs Sylvia, dipping her dramatically as he crushes his lips against hers. They begin to make out passionately, their hands roaming each other's bodies as they moan and grope, seemingly forgetting the presence of their guests.

The angels in attendance watch in a mixture of horror and fascination, unsure of how to react. After a moment of stunned silence, they begin to clap hesitantly, some forcing smiles while others whisper to each other behind their hands.

"Is this... normal for weddings?" One Angel whispered.

Another angel shook their head, "I have no idea, but I feel like I need to bleach my brain after witnessing that."

Adam and Sylvia continue their makeout session, lost in their own world of passion and slightly unhinged devotion. The officiant, now a deep shade of red, gently taps Adam on the shoulder.

"Uh, folks, maybe save some of that enthusiasm for the honeymoon, eh?" the officiant said, trying to get these two off each other.

Adam and Sylvia finally break apart, grinning at each other with a manic intensity. They turn to face their guests, raising their clasped hands in triumph.

"Let's fucking party, bitches!" Adam shouted.

The guests cheer halfheartedly, still reeling from the bizarre and unsettling display they just witnessed. As Adam and Sylvia lead the way to the reception, the angels follow behind, whispering and gossiping, wondering what kind of strange and chaotic union they've just been a part of.

Chapter Text

The scene opens with Adam rummaging through the freezer, a look of confusion and frustration on his face. He pushes aside various frozen items, muttering to himself.

"Where's all the damn ice cream? I swear we had like five tubs in here yesterday." He shuts the freezer door and calls out to Sylvia. "Hey, babe! Have you seen the ice cream? I've got a major craving for some chunky monkey."

There's no response from Sylvia, which Adam found strange. Adam frowns and starts searching the house.

"Sylvia? Where are you, hon?" he called.

As Adam enters the living room, he spots Sylvia huddled on the couch, surrounded by empty ice cream containers. She's currently digging into a tub of rocky road, her face smeared with chocolate.

"Whoa, Sylvia, what's going on here? Did you eat all the ice cream?" Adam asked, shocked.

Sylvia looks up guiltily, mouth full of ice cream. "Mmm... maybe?" Sylvia said sheepishly.

Adam crosses his arms, "Maybe? Babe, there's like ten empty containers here. What's up with that?" he asked, gesturing at the scene in front of him.

Sylvia swallows, looking sheepish. "I'm sorry, darling. It's just... when I get stressed, I tend to eat my feelings. And lately, I've been feeling a lot of feelings."

Adam sits beside her. "What kind of feelings? Talk to me, Sylvia." he said, a rare sincerity in his voice.

Sylvia sighs, "It's just... being married to the most amazing, perfect being in all of creation can be a bit overwhelming sometimes. I worry that I'm not good enough for you, that I'll never be able to live up to your greatness." Sylvia admitted sadly.

Adam puts an arm around her, "Aw, babe, come on. You know you're the only one for me. I mean, who else would put up with my godly awesomeness 24/7?" He asked.

Sylvia smiles weakly, "I know, I know. But sometimes, the pressure just gets to me. And when that happens, I turn to my old friend, Mr. Ice Cream." Sylvia said, turning to her rocky road container.

Adam chuckles, "Well, I can't say I blame you. Ice cream is pretty damn great. But maybe next time, save a tub for me, yeah?"

Sylvia nods. "I'll try, my love. I'm sorry for being such a mess." she apologized.

Adam kisses her forehead, "Hey, you're my mess. And I wouldn't have it any other way." he admitted.

Sylvia smiles, leaning into Adam's embrace. The scene ends with the couple cuddling on the couch, surrounded by the remnants of Sylvia's stress-eating binge, a testament to their unconventional but unbreakable bond.

Chapter Text

Sylvia sits in her heavenly abode, flipping through an old photo album. She stops on a page featuring a young, angelic Vaggie, smiling brightly at the camera. A wistful expression crosses Sylvia's face.

"Oh, my little Vaggie," she sighs, tracing the image with a finger. "You were such a darling child. I remember when I first took you under my wing, so to speak. So lost, so in need of guidance."

She turns to Adam, who is lounging nearby, strumming his guitar. "Do you remember, darling? How I practically raised Vaggie? I was like a mother to her."

Adam glances up, a vague look of confusion on his face. "Uh, sure babe. Whatever you say."

Sylvia continues, lost in her memories. "I taught her everything she knows. How to dress, how to carry herself, how to be a proper angel. We had such a special bond, Vaggie and I."

The scene shifts to Vaggie, now a demon in Hell. She's talking with Charlie, a look of annoyance on her face.

"I swear, that crazy bitch Sylvia is still stalking me," Vaggie grumbles. "She keeps sending me these creepy letters, going on about how much she misses her 'little girl'."

Charlie frowns. "I thought you said she was just some random angel who latched onto you?"

Vaggie rolls her eye. "She was! I barely knew her, but she convinced herself that she was like a mother to me or some shit. It was so weird."

Back in Heaven, Sylvia is still gushing to an increasingly bored-looking Adam.

"...and then there was the time I braided her hair for the Celestial Ball. Oh, she looked so precious! Like a little doll," Sylvia coos.

In Hell, Vaggie shudders. "She used to do this thing where she'd try to dress me up like a doll. It was creepy as fuck."

Sylvia sighs happily, clutching the photo album to her chest. "I miss her so much. My sweet little Vaggie. I know she must miss me too, her loving mother figure.

Vaggie scoffs. "If I never see that psycho again, it'll be too soon. She's not my mother, she's just some delusional stalker."

Charlie pats Vaggie's shoulder sympathetically. "Well, at least you're away from her now."

Vaggie nods, but a shadow of unease crosses her face. "Yeah, but sometimes... sometimes I feel like she's still watching me, somehow. Like she'll never let me go."

In Heaven, Sylvia closes the photo album, a determined gleam in her eye. "Someday, my little Vaggie. Someday we'll be reunited, and I can be your mother again. Forever and always."

Adam, finally tuning into the conversation, looks mildly perturbed. "Uh, babe? You know that's kind of messed up, right?"

But Sylvia just smiles, a touch of madness in her eyes. "Oh, Adam. A mother's love knows no bounds. You'll understand when we have children of our own."

Adam shifts uncomfortably, suddenly very interested in his guitar again. Sylvia's gaze returns to the photo album, her fingers drumming on the cover with a quietly intense rhythm.

Chapter Text

The scene opens in Adam and Sylvia's kitchen. Sylvia is wearing a frilly apron and humming cheerfully to herself as she pulls a freshly-baked cake out of the oven. The cake is slightly lopsided and covered in messy frosting, but Sylvia looks proud of her creation.

"Oh, Adam is going to love this! It's his favorite flavor - angel food cake with essence of Sylvia." she said to herself.

Sylvia sets the cake on the counter and starts decorating it with more frosting and sprinkles. As she works, she giggles maniacally.

"Now, no matter where he goes or what he does, a part of me will always be with him. Inside him. Forever and ever and ever..." Sylvia muttered.

Just then, Adam walks into the kitchen, sniffing the air.

"Hey, babe, something smells good in here! What'cha making?" he asked.

Sylvia spun around, grinning widely. "A special cake, just for you, my darling! Come, sit, sit! You must try a piece!"

Adam sits at the kitchen table while Sylvia cuts him a large slice of cake. She places it in front of him, her eyes wide and eager.

Adam takes a big bite, "Mmm, this is really good, Sylvie! What's your secret ingredient?"

Sylvia giggles, a crazed look in her eyes, "Oh, just a little something special to show you how much I love you, darling. Something to keep me close to your heart, always." she said.

Adam obliviously takes another bite, "Well, whatever it is, it's delicious! You've outdone yourself, babe." he said.

Sylvia claps her hands in delight, watching intently as Adam eats the entire slice. Once he's finished, she leans in close, her voice dropping to a whisper.

"Now, my essence will be a part of you, Adam. Flowing through your veins, intertwined with your very being. We'll never be apart, my love. Never, ever, ever..." Sylvia said, breathing heavily.

Adam, still unaware of the sinister implications, simply leans back in his chair and pats his stomach.

Adam lets out a burp, "Well, I don't know about all that, but I do know that I could go for another slice of that awesome cake!"

Sylvia's grin widens to an unnaturally large size as she eagerly cuts Adam another piece, her eyes never leaving his face as he consumes more of her "special" creation.

Fade to black as Sylvia's manic laughter echoes through the kitchen.

Chapter Text

Adam and Lute are walking together through a beautiful celestial garden, engaged in conversation.

"...and that's why I always say, "Go big or go home," you know? Oh, hey, there's someone I want you to meet!" Adam said, spying Sylvia.

They approach Sylvia, who is sitting on a bench, admiring the flowers. She looks up and smiles brightly when she sees Adam.

Sylvia rushes up to hug Adam. "Darling! I've been waiting for you!" she said happily.

Adam chuckled, "Hey, babe. I want to introduce you to someone. This is Lute, my new right-hand angel. Lute, this is Sylvia, my wife."

"Pleased to meet you, Sylvia." Lute said, nodding politely.

Sylvia eyed Lute suspiciously. "Charmed, I'm sure." she said grinning.

"Well, I've got to run. Got some important god stuff to take care of. You two get to know each other, okay?" Adam asked, oblivious to the tension.

Adam kisses Sylvia on the cheek and claps Lute on the shoulder before walking away. As soon as he's out of earshot, Sylvia's demeanor changes. She steps closer to Lute, her eyes narrowing.

"Listen up, Lute. I know what you're after. You think you can worm your way into my Adam's heart, don't you? Well, let me make something very clear. Adam is mine. He belongs to me, and only me. If you ever try to come between us, if you ever so much as look at him the wrong way... Well, let's just say there will be consequences." Sylvia threatened.

Lute, taken aback by Sylvia's sudden shift in attitude, takes a step back.

"I assure you, Sylvia, my relationship with Adam is strictly professional. I have no intention of interfering with your marriage." Lute said, calmly.

"Good. See that it stays that way. Because if anything happens to jeopardize my perfect life with Adam, I'll know exactly who to blame. And trust me, you don't want to find out what happens when I'm angry." Sylvia said, smiling coldly.

Just then, Adam returns. Instantly, Sylvia's demeanor shifts back to her earlier, cheerful self.

Sylvia giggles, "Oh, Adam, you're back! Lute and I were just getting to know each other. I can tell we're going to be the best of friends!" she said happily.

"That's great, babe! I knew you two would hit it off." Adam said.

Sylvia takes Adam's arm, leaning her head on his shoulder. She shoots Lute a sickly-sweet smile over Adam's shoulder, her eyes conveying a silent warning.

"Yes, I'm sure we'll have so much fun together, won't we, Lute?" Sylvia said, smiling.

Lute, maintaining a neutral expression, nods stiffly. 

Chapter Text

Adam and Sylvia are sitting on a bench beneath a luminous, oversized moon. It's their first date, and Adam is trying to impress Sylvia with his charm and wit (no really).

Adam gestured to the sky, "You know, I created all of this. The stars, the moon, everything. Pretty impressive, right?" he asked.

Sylvia didn't look up at the sky, gazing at him adoringly. "Oh, Adam, you're so powerful and amazing! I can't believe I'm on a date with the creator himself!" she cooed, lovingly.

"Believe it, babe. You're one lucky angel." Adam said.

Sylvia scoots closer to Adam, her eyes wide and unblinking as she stares at him. Adam, caught up in his own ego, doesn't seem to notice her intense gaze.

"I feel so blessed to be in your presence, Adam. It's like a dream come true." Sylvia said.

Adam chuckled, "Well, stick with me, and all your dreams will come true, Sylvie." he said.

Sylvia suddenly grabs Adam's hand, clutching it tightly. Her smile is a bit too wide, her eyes a bit too manic.

"Do you really mean that, Adam? Because my biggest dream is to be with you forever and ever and ever..." Sylvia said intensely.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Forever and ever sounds great." Adam said, slightly taken aback, but still flattered.

Sylvia leans in closer, her face inches from Adam's. She's still grinning eerily, but Adam is too focused on her beauty in the moonlight to notice.

"I would do anything for you, Adam. Anything at all. Just say the word, and I'm yours." she whispered.

Adam laughed nervously. "Wow, you're really into me, huh? I guess I can't blame you. I am pretty irresistible." he said.

Sylvia suddenly pulls Adam into a tight hug, burying her face in his neck. She inhales deeply, as if trying to memorize his scent.

"Mine. All mine. Forever and ever and ever..." she muttered.

Adam patted her back awkwardly. "Uh, yeah. Forever and ever. You got it, babe." he said.

The flashback ends with Sylvia clinging to Adam, her expression a mix of adoration and obsession. Adam, oblivious to the red flags, simply basks in the attention, his ego inflating even further under Sylvia's intense devotion. 

Chapter Text

Adam and Sylvia are strolling through the heavenly gardens, hand in hand. Sylvia is chattering away about her latest hobby, while Adam nods along, only half-listening.

"...and then I thought, why not try cross-stitching our initials inside a heart made of our intertwined hair? Wouldn't that be just the most romantic thing, snookums?" Sylvia asked.

Adam stops short, his eyes widening as he turns to face Sylvia.

Adam sputtered, "I'm sorry, what did you just call me?" he asked.

"Snookums, of course! Don't you just love it? I think it captures your adorable, cuddly essence perfectly." Sylvia answered, batting her eyelashes.

"Sylvia, babe, no. Just... no. I am not a "snookums.'" Adam said, using finger quotes. "I'm the First Man, the epitome of masculine divinity! You can't go around giving me cutesy pet names like that!"

Sylvia giggles, booping Adam on the nose playfully.

"Aww, is my wittle sugar-wugar getting all embawwassed? You're just too precious, my darling snookums-wookums!" Sylvia cooed.

Adam groans, burying his face in his hands. He can feel the heat radiating off his cheeks.

"Sylvia, please. If any of the other angels hear you talking like that, I'll never live it down. I have a reputation to maintain, you know?" Adam pleaded, head still in hands.

Sylvia pouts, wrapping her arms around Adam's waist and nuzzling his chest.

"But Adam, my love, I just want the whole world to know how utterly adorable and sweet you are! My cuddly-wuddly snuggle-bunny, my precious honeybee, my-" Sylvia gushed.

Adam cut her off. "Okay, okay! I get it. You love me, and you want to express that love through increasingly embarrassing pet names. But can we maybe keep it on the down-low? At least in public?"

Sylvia sighs dramatically, but there's a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Oh, alright. I suppose I can save the really good ones for when we're alone." she conceded. "But don't think you're off the hook, mister! In private, you're all mine... my scrumptious cinnamon roll."

Adam shakes his head, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips. He pulls Sylvia closer, kissing the top of her head.

"You're impossible, you know that? But I guess that's part of your charm, angel face. Just... try to go easy on the sugar-shock nicknames, okay? A man's got his limits." Adam said fondly.

"No promises, my delectable hunk-a-burning-love. But I'll do my best to restrain myself... when others are around, at least." Sylvia said, smiling impishly.

Adam chuckles, taking Sylvia's hand and continuing their walk. He silently resigns himself to a future filled with cavity-inducing pet names and public displays of sickening affection. But secretly, a small part of him can't help but find Sylvia's over-the-top adoration rather endearing... even if he would never admit it out loud.

Chapter Text

The scene unfolds in a heavenly park, where Adam stands beside a bubbling fountain. Lost in his thoughts, his brow furrows until a voice breaks through his reverie.

Sylvia approaches him. "Adam, my love! I've been searching everywhere for you!," she says, coyly smiling.

Adam blinks in surprise at the loud voice before recognizing it as his wife's voice. He turns towards her, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Oh hey Sylvie," he breathes his wife's nickname, as he reaches out to gently tuck a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. 

"Sorry, babe. Didn't mean to worry you, just needed a moment to myself is all." Adam excused.

Sylvia nods, her understanding gaze softening her blue eyes. She steps closer, her hands finding their place on Adam's chest.

"I know the burdens you carry, Il mio re." Sylvia murmured, briefly muttering in Italian. "The weight of your duties, your destiny." She looks up at him through her lashes. "Let me help you bear it. Let me ease your mind and body."

Before Adam can respond, Sylvia sinks to her knees before him, her hands trailing down his torso to rest on his belt. Adam's eyes widen, a flush rising to his cheeks at the sudden, bold display. He know she could be bold, but this was too much..

Adam swallows hard, about to ask, "S-Sylvia, what are you..."

Sylvia hushes him with a finger to his lips, "Shh, amore mio." She nuzzles her cheek against his clothed arousal. "Let me worship you as you deserve." She mouths at him through the fabric. "Let me show you the depths of my devotion." 

Adam groans, his head falling back as Sylvia works him over with lips and tongue, the heat of her breath seeping through his robes. His hands fist at his sides, torn between the desire to tangle in her hair and guide her movements, and tear her off and take this back home.

Sylvia purrs and looks up at him, "Dios mío, Adam." She palms his hardness, feeling it twitch beneath her hand. "Even here, you are perfection." she moans as she traces the outline of his cock with a reverent finger. "A monument to masculinity, to virility."

Adam's flush deepens, a strangled moan escaping his throat. "Sylvie, please..." he pleads, his hips involuntarily jerking. "I wanna...b-but we can't...not here..." They were in a public park for God's sake, this was too risky!

Sylvia just grinned wickedly, nimble fingers making quick work of Adam's belt and zipper. She frees his straining erection, her eyes darkening with lust at the sight of him, hard and ready, a bead of pre-cum glistening at the tip.

Licking her lips, Sylvia purrs, "Mmm, a feast fit for a goddess." She wraps her hand around his base, giving him a firm stroke. "And it's all mine." Her gaze meets his, burning with possessive desire. "You belong to me, don't you, Adam?" she asks softly.

Adam can only nod frantically, any protest dying on his lips as Sylvia takes him into her mouth, her tongue swirling around the head, lapping up his essence. She bobs her head, taking him deeper, hollowing her cheeks to provide the most delicious suction.

Adam gasps and bucks into her mouth, "Fuck, Sylvia, your mouth..." Adam said, tangling a hand in her blue and black hair. "So good, such a perfect slut for me.." he moaned.

Sylvia hums around him, the vibrations making Adam see stars. She works him with single-minded focus, her hands coming up to fondle his balls, to stroke what she can't fit in her mouth. Adam is panting now, his hips rocking in shallow thrusts, chasing the wet heat of her mouth, the wicked skill of her tongue. He no longer cared if someone saw them, he just wanted her.

Adam groans, his grip tightening in her hair, "Sylvie I'm close..." He tries to pull her off. "Baby, if you don't stop, I'm going to..."

But Sylvia just takes him deeper, relaxing her throat to accommodate his length. She looks up at him, her eyes watering but full of wanton desire, and hums pointedly, the message clear - she wants his release, wants to taste him, to swallow every drop of his pleasure.

That sight, that unspoken permission, is Adam's undoing. With a choked cry of Sylvia's name, he comes, spilling down her eager throat in hot, pulsing spurts. Sylvia moans in delight, drinking him down, milking him for all he's worth. And when she finally pulls off with an obscene pop, her lips swollen and glistening, it's with a smile of cat-like satisfaction, of smug feminine pride.

Sylvia licks her lips, "Delicious, mio amore." She hums and tidies him back into his pants, pressing a tender kiss to the softening bulge before doing so. "Truly heavenly, a divine elixir fit for the gods."

Adam can only stare at her, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his face flushed with a mixture of contented pleasure and bashful embarrassment. He feels exposed, vulnerable in a way he's never experienced before...but also cherished, adored in a way that ignites his heart and fills his veins with excitement.

Gracefully, Sylvia stands and drapes her arms over Adam's shoulders. "Did that please you, my darling?"

Adam swallows hard and nods before chuckling, his hands coming up to grip her hips. "Yeah, baby". He kisses her deeply, tasting himself on her tongue before they separated. "You goddamn better believe you pleased me." Adam said crassly, though he rests his forehead against hers. "Such a naughty little worshipping bitch for me."

Sylvia cups his face, gazing into his eyes. "You mean everything to me, Adam," she says, kissing him tenderly. "Il mio re, il mio cuore, la mia anima." 

Adam chuckles. "I love it when you talk dirty to me in Spanish!"

"Italian," Sylvia corrects him with a smile.

"Yeah, that!" Adam replies, grinning.

Sylvia giggled, her husband was so dumb. SHE LOVED IT!

She whispers against his lips, "I will spend eternity proving my love, my loyalty to you."

"Well now, it wouldn't be right if you did all that and you never got satisfied.." Adam said flirtatiously, cupping her ass.

Sylvia moaned at Adam's touch, "Oh~, my my, aren't we being generous today." she said.

Adam smiled wolfishly, "You bet baby, but how about we get out of this park before someone actually comes by?" he asked teasingly.

Sylvia chuckled, "Lead the way, bello."

With that, Adam swooped Sylvia into his arms as the two flew back to their house to finish what Sylvia had started.

Chapter Text

[INT. ADAM'S OFFICE - DAY]

Adam sits at his desk, going over some paperwork with Lute standing nearby. He leans back in his chair, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You know, Lute, I think Sylvia might be starting to mellow out a bit. She hasn't had a major freakout in like, a whole week." Adam mused.

"Is that so, sir? How... encouraging." Lute said, raising an eyebrow.

Behind Adam, visible through the open doorway, Sylvia is engaged in some peculiar behavior. She's arranging a series of dolls that bear a striking resemblance to Adam, herself, and various other angels. The dolls are posed in disturbingly intimate positions, with the Sylvia doll always clinging possessively to the Adam doll.

Adam nodded, "Yeah, I mean, she's still crazy as fuck, but it's like, a manageable level of crazy now. Maybe she's finally adjusting to the whole "being married to the most desirable angel in existence" thing."

Sylvia starts making the dolls kiss and caress each other, giggling quietly to herself. She's so absorbed in her play that she doesn't notice Adam turning around.

"Hey babe, what're you up to out there?" Adam called out to her.

Sylvia frantically hides the dolls behind her back and whirls around, a picture of wide-eyed innocence.

"Oh, nothing, my love! Just admiring the beauty of our home and thinking about how lucky I am to be your wife!" Sylvia said sweetly.

Adam chuckles and turns back to Lute, missing the manic gleam in Sylvia's eyes.

"See what I mean? Total sweetheart." Adam said.

As soon as Adam's back is turned, Sylvia resumes her disturbing doll play. She makes the Sylvia doll mount the Adam doll, her face contorting into a deranged expression of lust and obsession.

"Indeed, sir. She's the very picture of stability." Lute said dryly.

Lute watches Sylvia's unsettling display, her face impassive but her eyes betraying a hint of concern. Adam, oblivious, continues rambling about Sylvia's supposed improvement.

Adam chuckled, "I'm telling you, Lute, it's only a matter of time before she's just a regular, boring wife. Wouldn't that be something?" he asked.

Behind him, Sylvia is now making the dolls enact a violent, possessive scene, with the Sylvia doll attacking any other doll that comes near the Adam doll. Her face is a mask of crazed devotion and barely-contained rage.

"Yes, sir. Something, indeed." Lute said deadpan.

Chapter Text

Adam and Sylvia are in their celestial garden, enjoying a quiet moment together. Adam is reclined on a plush chaise, Sylvia nestled against his side. Adam sighs contentedly.

"You know, babe, this reminds me of the garden in Eden. The one Eve and I used to—" Adam said before stopping abruptly, realizing his mistake. Sylvia went very still against him.

"..Eve?" Sylvia uttered quietly.

Adam quickly backpedaled, "Uh, I mean, it's not important. Just a random thought."

Sylvia sits up, turning to face Adam. Her smile is tight, her eyes glinting.

"Oh no, please, do go on. I'd love to hear about your time with... Eve." Sylvia said in pseudo sweet tone.

Adam swallows nervously. He knows that tone.

"Really, Sylvie, it's nothing. Just ancient history." Adam said.

"Ancient history. Right. Like how she was your second wife? The mother of your children?" Sylvia asked, her smile sharpening.

Adam winced, "Babe, come on. You know you're the only one for me now." he said, wanting her to back down.

Sylvia stands abruptly, pacing in front of Adam. Her wings are flared, agitated.

"Am I, Adam? Sometimes I wonder. You seem awfully fond of reminiscing about your... past entanglements." Sylvia said agitatedly, her back turned towards him.

"Sylvia, honey, it was just a slip of the tongue. I wasn't comparing you to Eve, I swear." Adam pleaded, also standing, placatingly.

Sylvia whirls on him, her eyes blazing.

"You better not be! Because I am ten times the wife she ever was!" Sylvia yelled, her angel form briefly coming out.

She stalks closer to Adam, jabbing a finger into his chest, making him flinch.

"I worship the ground you walk on, Adam. I would do anything for you. Anything." Sylvia hissed intensely.

She grabs Adam's face, pulling him into a searing kiss. It's possessive, almost brutal. When she pulls back, Adam looks dazed.

Sylvia breathed heavily, "I love you with every fiber of my being. I would burn the world to ashes for you." she said.

She steps back, her smile returning. But it's different now, edged with something dark and unsettling.

"Now, why don't I go prepare your favorite meal? I know how much you love my cooking." Sylvia said brightly.

"Unlike that cagna Eve who you complained couldn't when we first started dating.." Sylvia muttered audibly, whether Adam was supposed to hear that, he wasn't sure. "Fottuta puttana che non riesce a tenere le zampe lontane dal mio uomo..."

She turns and walks away, leaving Adam staring after her. He touches his lips, still feeling the heat of her kiss.

"Fucking hell. Note to self, never mention the exes." Adam muttered to himself, unnerved.

He shakes his head, a shiver running down his spine despite the warmth of the garden. The scene fades out, leaving the impression of Sylvia's intense, borderline obsessive love, and the dangerous waters Adam must navigate in their marriage.

Chapter Text

Adam enters their room to find Sylvia standing in front of a dartboard, a picture of a severe-looking woman pinned to the center. Sylvia is throwing darts with a surprising level of force and accuracy, each one landing squarely in the woman's face.

"Uh, babe? What'cha doing there?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sylvia throws another dart, not turning around. It sinks into the woman's eye, making Adam wince.

"Oh, just a little target practice, darling! Helps me relieve stress." Sylvia said cheerfully.

Adam steps closer, peering at the picture. The woman looks vaguely familiar, but he can't quite place her.

"Is that... is that the woman who was staring at me the other day? The one you got all huffy about?" Adam asked.

Sylvia laughs, a bright, tinkling sound that doesn't quite match the violent way she's hurling pointy objects.

"Oh no, silly! That's my mother!" Sylvia said brightly.

Adam blinks, taken aback. He looks at the picture again, noting the resemblance - the same dark hair (though the blue Sylvia's hair also had was absent), the same round face, etc.

Adam blinked, "Your... mother. Right. And you're throwing darts at her because...?" Adam asked slowly.

Sylvia finally turns to face him, her smile wide and a little manic.

"Oh, you know how mothers can be! Always criticizing, always making you feel like you're not good enough..." Sylvia said breezily. 

She throws another dart, this one landing squarely in Sienna's forehead.

"I just find this to be a healthy way to process my feelings. Better than bottling it all up, don't you think?" Sylvia continued blithely.

Adam eyes the dartboard, taking in the veritable pincushion that Sienna's face has become.

"Uh-huh. Healthy. Sure." Adam commented, 

Sylvia sets down her darts, moving to wrap her arms around Adam's waist. She looks up at him, her eyes wide and earnest.

"I just want to be a good mother, Adam. Now that Va-" Sylvia said, trailing off as she started uttering someone's name. She closed her eyes and mouth as if it was too much to bare.

"When we have our own little ones, I want to give them all the love and acceptance that I never had." Sylvia said.

Her gaze turns distant, her smile fading slightly.

"I don't want to be like her. I want to break the cycle." she whispered.

Adam's expression softens. He pulls Sylvia closer, kissing the top of her head.

"You will, babe. You're gonna be an amazing mom, I know it." Adam said comfortingly.

Sylvia hugs him tighter, burying her face in his chest. For a moment, they just hold each other, the dartboard and its grim occupant forgotten.

Then Sylvia pulls back, her bright smile back in place.

"Now, who wants cookies? I just baked a fresh batch!" Sylvia chirped.

She skips off towards the kitchen, humming a cheery tune. Adam watches her go, shaking his head slightly.

"My wife, the adorable psychopath." Adam commented.

He glances at the picture of Sienna, shuddering slightly at the cold, cruel eyes that seem to stare back at him accusingly, even through the veil of puncture wounds.

"Glad I never had to meet the mother-in-law." Adam muttered.

He turns and follows Sylvia, the scent of warm cookies and the sound of his wife's happy humming drawing him onwards, away from the unsettling remnants of her past.

Chapter Text

Adam and Sylvia are seated at a cozy table, the remnants of a delicious meal spread before them. Sylvia gazes at Adam with her usual adoration, while Adam looks uncharacteristically pensive.

Sylvia sighed happily, "Oh darling, this evening has been absolutely divine! The food, the ambiance, and of course, the company..." she said.

Sylvia reaches across the table to take Adam's hand, giving it a loving squeeze. Adam smiles slightly, but there's a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

Adam cleared his throat, "Yeah, babe, it's been great. Listen, I've been thinking-" Adam started.

The waiter arrives with the check, placing it on the table. Sylvia immediately reaches for it, as is their custom.

"Allow me, my love. You know I love spoiling you!" Sylvia said, beaming.

But Adam surprises her by snatching the check away, a determined look on his face.

"Not this time, angel tits. I've got this one." Adam said firmly.

"But... but Adam, you never pay! I thought you liked it when I showered you with gifts and affection!" Sylvia said, shocked at his behaviour.

Sylvia's eyes widen, a sudden fear gripping her heart. She leans forward, searching Adam's face anxiously.

"Darling, is everything alright? Have I done something to displease you? If so, just tell me and I'll fix it immediately!" Sylvia pleaded anxiously.

Adam chuckled, "Relax, nutjob. Everything's fine. I just..." Adam trailed off, becoming more bashful. "I wanted to do something nice for you, ya know? Show you that I appreciate all the crazy shit you do for me."

Adam looks away, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. Sylvia's eyes fill with tears of joy and relief.

"Oh, my sweet, wonderful Adam! You have no idea how much this means to me! Your love and approval are the only things I live for!" she cheered, clasping her hands together.

Sylvia starts to get up, ready to throw herself at Adam in a bone-crushing hug, but he quickly gestures for her to sit back down.

"Whoa there, babe. Let's keep the public displays of insanity to a minimum, yeah? I've got a reputation to uphold." Adam said, embarrassed.

Sylvia giggles and settles back into her seat, her eyes shining with manic adoration. Adam clears his throat again and slips some cash into the check folder.

"Don't go reading too much into this, alright? I'm not gonna make a habit of it or anything." He said gruffly.

Sylvia sighs dreamily, "Of course not, my king. But I'll cherish this moment forever, a shining example of your boundless generosity and love for me!" she gushed.

Adam rolls his eyes but can't hide the small smile tugging at his lips. He stands up and offers Sylvia his arm.

"Come on, you lovable psycho. Let's blow this joint and find some real fun." Adam said smirking.

Sylvia leaps up and latches onto Adam's arm, her heart soaring with happiness. Together, they walk out of the restaurant, ready to continue their eternal adventure of passion and madness.

(They're both Sylvia, one's just her casual clothes and the other's her in a hoodie)

Chapter Text

Sylvia twirled gracefully through the air, her white and blue exorcist uniform fluttering around her curvaceous form. With a gleeful laugh, she swung her trusty mace, lovingly nicknamed "Blueberry," at the horde of demons surrounding her. The spiked weapon connected with a satisfying crunch, sending the wretched creature flying.

"Take that, you filthy demon!" Sylvia cried out, her blue eyes sparkling with manic delight. She danced through the battlefield, Blueberry singing as it smashed and crushed the infernal beings foolish enough to stand in her way.

From a nearby cliff, Adam watched the skirmish with interest. His gaze was drawn to the beautiful, busty exorcist who seemed to be having the time of her life as she slaughtered the demon horde. He admired her technique, the way she wielded her mace with such skill and enthusiasm.

Sylvia spotted Adam observing her from his vantage point and felt a thrill run through her. She had caught the attention of the legendary Dickmaster himself! Determined to impress him further, she redoubled her efforts, laughing maniacally as Blueberry reduced the remaining demons to piles of twitching flesh.

As the last demon fell, Sylvia stood victorious amidst the carnage, her chest heaving and a satisfied grin on her face. She looked up at Adam and waved, flashing him a flirtatious wink.

Adam chuckled and nodded in approval. "Not bad, babe. Not bad at all."

Sylvia's heart soared at his praise. She spread her wings and flew up to the cliff, landing gracefully before him. "I'm so glad you enjoyed the show, Adam," she purred, batting her eyelashes. "I'm Sylvia, by the way."

"I know who you are," Adam replied, his eyes roaming over her voluptuous figure appreciatively. "I've been watching you for a while now. You've got some serious skills with that mace of yours."

Sylvia giggled, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks. "Oh, you mean Blueberry? She's my pride and joy. I love taking out demons with her."

Adam grinned. "I can tell. You look like you were having a blast down there."

"I was!" Sylvia agreed enthusiastically. "There's nothing quite like the thrill of the fight, you know?" She stepped closer to him, her voice lowering seductively. "But I can think of a few other thrills that might come close."

Adam's eyebrows shot up, and he smirked. "Is that so?"

Sylvia nodded, biting her lip coyly. "Definitely. Here, let me give you my number." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small slip of paper, pressing it into Adam's hand. "Call me sometime, and I'll show you what I mean."

With a final wink and a sway of her hips, Sylvia turned and flew off, leaving a thoroughly intrigued Adam behind. He looked down at the paper in his hand and grinned. Oh, he would definitely be calling her.

Chapter Text

Adam is lounging in his heavenly penthouse, feet propped up on a golden ottoman. He grins as he dials Sylvia's number.

Cut to Sylvia in her quarters. The room is dimly lit, with various weapons mounted on the walls. Sylvia is polishing Blueberry, humming cheerfully.

"Who's a good spikey-wikey? You are! Yes, you are!" she coos at the blue mace.

Suddenly, her phone rings. She sets Blueberry down and answers eagerly.

"Hello?" she asked eagerly.

"Hey there, babe," Adam drawled. "It's Adam. You know, the one whose attention you were so desperately trying to get earlier? I was just thinking, a fine piece of angel like yourself deserves a night out. What do you say we go for a walk and see where the evening takes us?" Adam said.

"Oh Adam, I thought you'd never ask! I'd love to!" Sylvia gushed.

As Sylvia talks, she walks over to a large trunk. She opens it, revealing a bound and gagged demon inside. The demon's eyes widen in terror.

"Great! I know this perfect little place. Quiet, intimate. I'll pick you up at 7." Adam said.

"Sounds wonderful! I can't wait!" Sylvia said, slightly distracted.

Sylvia reaches into the trunk and pulls out a wickedly sharp knife. She traces it lightly over the demon's cheek as it whimpers.

"Eager, aren't we? I like that. Wear something nice for me, baby." Adam teased, chuckling.

Sylvia giggled, "Oh, I'll wear something unforgettable. See you soon, handsome."

Sylvia hangs up, tossing the phone aside. She turns her full attention to the terrified demon, a manic gleam in her eye.

"Now, where were we? Oh yes..." she said in pseudo sweet tone.

Sylvia raises the knife, a twisted smile on her face. The demon screams into its gag.

"I've got a date tonight, so let's make this quick!" She said sing-songy.

The scene cuts away as Sylvia's gleeful laughter mingles with the demon's muffled shrieks and wet, tearing sounds.

Cut back to Adam, still reclining with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Oh yeah, she wants me bad. This is gonna be fun." Adam said. He had no idea what Sylvia had been up to when he called, but he didn't particularly care. All that mattered was that he had a hot date with a sexy, demon-slaying exorcist who seemed to worship the ground he walked on. Life was good.

Adam takes a swig from a bottle of heavenly wine, completely unaware of the grisly scene unfolding on the other end of the phone line moments ago.

Chapter Text

The Celestial Gardens were in full bloom, the ethereal flowers casting a soft, romantic glow under the starlit sky. Adam stood near the entrance, his usually cocky demeanor tinged with a hint of nervousness as he waited for Sylvia to arrive.

A rustling of wings alerted him to her presence, and he turned, his jaw dropping at the sight before him. Sylvia had arrived, wearing a form-fitting white dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. The plunging neckline and high slit up the side left little to the imagination, showcasing her ample cleavage and toned bronze legs.

"H-hey there, Sylvia," Adam stammered, trying to regain his composure. "You look... wow."

Sylvia giggled, twirling around to give him a better view. "Thank you, Adam. I wanted to look my best for our special night."

As they walked through the gardens, Sylvia clung to Adam's arm, pressing her body against his side. Adam found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on their conversation, his mind constantly wandering to the tantalizing glimpses of skin and the enticing scent of her perfume.

"Okay, on our first date, I feel like I didn't get to know you well enough. So, tell me more about yourself, Sylvia," Adam managed to say, trying to distract himself. "What was your life like before becoming an exorcist?"

Sylvia's expression grew mysterious, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Well, I was actually raised in a cult," she revealed nonchalantly.

Adam's eyes widened in horror. "A cult?!"

Seeing his reaction, Sylvia quickly backpedaled. "Oh, did I say cult? I meant church! Yes, I was raised in a very strict, very devout church. We were just so dedicated to our beliefs that some might have called us a cult. But it was all in good fun, really."

Adam relaxed slightly, though he still looked a bit uneasy. "Right. Good fun."

Sensing his discomfort, Sylvia changed the subject. "But enough about my boring past. Let's talk even more about you, Adam. I've heard so many incredible stories about your bravery and prowess on the battlefield. And off, if the rumors are true." She ran a finger down his chest, batting her eyelashes seductively.

Adam puffed up with pride, his ego thoroughly stroked once again. "Well, you know, I don't like to brag, but I am pretty fucking amazing," he boasted.

Sylvia hung on his every word, gasping and sighing in all the right places as he regaled her with tales of his heroic exploits and sexual conquests (she was actually enraged with jealousy but reeled it in by thinking he would eventually do those conquest on her). By the end of the night, Adam was thoroughly enamored, his earlier unease forgotten.

As they stood at the entrance of the gardens, preparing to say goodnight, Sylvia leaned in close, her lips brushing against Adam's ear. "I had an incredible time tonight, Adam. This was even better than our first date.," she whispered, her breath hot against his skin. "I can't wait to see you again. And maybe next time, we can explore some of those other thrills I mentioned when we first met."

With a final, lingering kiss on his cheek, Sylvia spread her wings and flew off into the night, leaving a thoroughly flustered and aroused Adam in her wake.

Adam watched her go, a grin spreading across his face. He was a little creeped out by her at first, but now? Oh, he would definitely be seeing her again. And soon. He had a feeling that life with Sylvia was going to be one wild, unforgettable ride.

Chapter Text

Adam watched Sylvia as she flitted around the room, humming to herself and occasionally giggling at seemingly nothing. He couldn't help but wonder, for the umpteenth time, just what went on in that pretty head of hers.

"Hey, babe?" he called out, catching her attention. "Can I ask you something?"

Sylvia spun to face him, a bright smile on her face. "Of course, darling! You can ask me anything."

Adam hesitated, not quite sure how to phrase his question. "I was just wondering... you know, since you were a 'winner' and all... how exactly did you get into Heaven?"

Sylvia's smile faltered, and for a moment, her eyes seemed to glaze over. "Oh, that," she said, her voice distant. "It's a long story..."

As she spoke, the room around her seemed to fade away, replaced by the dim, flickering memories of her human life.

She saw herself as a child, kneeling on a cold stone floor, her hands clasped in fervent prayer. Around her, the members of her mother's church - no, cult - chanted and swayed, their eyes wild with religious fervor.

Sienna, Sylvia's mother, stood at the front of the congregation, her voice rising above the others in a crazed, fanatical sermon. She spoke of God's wrath, of the need for sacrifice and pain to prove their devotion.

Beside Sylvia, her sisters trembled, their faces pale with fear. Sergei, their father, watched from the shadows, his expression torn between concern and resignation.

The scene shifted, and Sylvia saw Sergei trying to lead them out, to escape the madness of the cult. But they were caught, dragged back by the wild-eyed believers, their screams echoing in the night.

And then, Sienna was there, her face twisted with rage and disappointment. She raised her hand, a glinting blade clutched in her fingers...

"Sylvia? Sylvia, baby, snap out of it!"

Adam's voice broke through the haze of memory, jolting Sylvia back to the present. She blinked, realizing that she had been staring off into space, a creepy smile fixed on her face.

"Huh? What?" she said, shaking her head to clear the lingering images.

Adam was looking at her with a mix of concern and unease. "Are you okay? You kind of zoned out there for a minute."

Sylvia forced a laugh, waving off his worry. "Oh, I'm fine! Just thinking about my time in the church, that's all. You know how it is, getting lost in old memories."

She stood up, smoothing her white skirt. "Anyway, I should go start on dinner. I'm thinking your favorite tonight, as a special treat."

As she bustled out of the room, Adam stared after her, a chill running down his spine. There was something in her tone, in the way she had said "church," that made him feel deeply unsettled.

He had always known that Sylvia was a little off, a little too intense in her devotion to him. But now, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something much darker lurking beneath her bubbly exterior.

Shaking his head, Adam tried to push the thoughts aside. Sylvia was his wife, the love of his life. Whatever her past held, whatever demons she might be hiding, he would stand by her.

But even as he made that vow, a small, nagging voice in the back of his mind wondered if he truly knew the woman he had married. And if, perhaps, he had bitten off more than even the Dickmaster could chew.

Chapter Text

The scene opens in a grand conference room, with angels and demons seated on opposite sides of a long table. Adam and Sylvia enter, hand in hand, and take their seats at the head of the angelic delegation. Lucifer, seated across from them, perks up at the sight of Sylvia.

Sylvia possessed a stunning sun-kissed complexion, with a face that was perfectly round and a figure that was both voluptuous and curvaceous. Her hair was styled in a unique and eye-catching black and blue striped bob, adding to her allure. She confidently sported a loose-fitting spaghetti strap top in a vibrant shade of blue, revealing her toned midriff. Complementing her top, she wore a striking asymmetrical white skirt adorned with a charming blue heart. Sylvia's long, silky legs added to her overall elegance. Completing her ensemble were black closed-toe wedges, accentuated by black laces that gracefully wrapped around her legs. Without a doubt, Sylvia was a true beauty.

"Well, hello there." Lucifer purred, grinning. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting. Lucifer, King of Hell, at your service."

Adam tensed, his hand tightening around Sylvia's, "This is my wife, Sylvia. Sylvia, meet Lucifer." he introduced, gritting out Lucifer's name.

"It's an honor to meet you, your majesty." Sylvia said, smiling politely.

Lucifer waved a dismissive hand, "Oh, please, call me Lucifer. And the honor is all mine, my dear. I must say, Adam, you've certainly traded up since the last time I saw you." he said flirtatiously.

He winks at Sylvia, causing Adam to bristle. Sylvia, however, looks more confused than flattered.

"I'm sorry, traded up? What do you mean?" she asked.

Lucifer leaned forward, his grin widening, "Oh, you know. First Lilith, then Eve, and now you." he relisted. "Our boy Adam sure does have a type, doesn't he? Beautiful, strong-willed women who are way out of his league."

Adam looks ready to leap across the table and throttle Lucifer, but Sylvia places a calming hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but... are you really the King of Hell? The one who tempted Lilith and Eve away from Adam?" Sylvia asked, tilting her head, studying Lucifer.

"Guilty as charged, my dear. What can I say? I have a way with the ladies." Lucifer said preening.

Surprising both Adam and Lucifer, Sylvia burst into laughter, "I'm sorry, I just... I can't believe it. You're so... short. And silly-looking. I always pictured the great tempter to be more, I don't know. Impressive?" she said, barely keeping her laughs in.

Lucifer's grin falters, a flash of annoyance crossing his features. 

Lucifer cleared his throat, "Yes, well. Appearances can be deceiving, my dear. I assure you, I am every bit as formidable as the stories say." he said.

Sylvia nodded, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Oh, I don't doubt it. And you know, in a way, I should thank you." she said.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow, "Thank me? For what?" he asked.

Sylvia turned to Adam, her eyes shining with adoration, "For leading my darling husband to me. If you hadn't stolen Lilith and Eve, he might never have found his way into my arms." Sylvia gushed, leaning into Adam, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"And I can't imagine my life without him. He's my everything, my reason for being. I love him more than words can express." Sylvia said lovingly.

Adam's expression softens, and he pulls Sylvia closer, nuzzling her hair. Lucifer, on the other hand, looks slightly nauseated.

Lucifer coughed awkwardly. "Yes, well. That's all very touching, I'm sure. If you'll excuse me, I think we have some business to attend to." he said.

He turns pointedly to the other demons, who quickly launch into their agenda. Sylvia leans into Adam, whispering in his ear.

"Did you see his face? I thought he was going to be sick when I started gushing about you." Sylvia whispered, snickering.

Adam also chuckling, "That was awesome, babe. You put that smug bastard in his place." he complimented.

"And I meant every word. You're the only man for me, Adam. Now and forever." Sylvia said sweetly.

Adam grins, pulling her into a deep, passionate kiss, right there at the conference table. The angels avert their eyes, while the demons look on with a mix of envy and disgust. When they finally break apart, Adam rests his forehead against Sylvia's.

"God, I love you so much right now!" Adam said.

Sylvia sighed happily. "And I love you, my darling husband. Always and forever." she gushed.

'Maybe I should've tried with Charlie's nanny.' Lucifer thought to himself.

The scene fades on the couple, lost in their own little world, their love a shining beacon amidst the tension and animosity of the celestial conference room.

Chapter Text

Sylvia and Adam stand outside a grand celestial mansion. Sylvia is practically vibrating with excitement, while Adam looks uncharacteristically nervous.

"Oh, I can't wait for you to meet everyone, darling! They're going to love you!" Sylvia gushed excitedly.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Can't wait." Adam replied uncertainly.

Sylvia rings the doorbell, which chimes with a heavenly chorus. The door swings open, revealing a tall, stern-looking man with a neatly trimmed beard. His icy blue eyes sweep over Adam, assessing.

"Daddy! This is Adam, my fiancee. Adam, meet my father, Sergei." Sylvia introduced.

"So. You are man who's getting married to my Sylvia." Sergei said, having a thick Russian accent. He extends a hand, his grip crushing as he shakes Adam's hand. Adam tries not to wince.

"Nice to meet you, sir. Sylvia's told me so much about you." Adam said, forcing a smile and his voice squeaky from the pain.

"Has she? Interesting." Sergei said. He steps aside, allowing them to enter. Inside, three women are waiting, all bearing a striking resemblance to Sylvia.

"Sisters! Come meet my Adam!" Sylvia called.

"SYLVIA!" a high-pitched voice squealed, shoving past Sergei. A taller angel (taller than Sylvia) with the same blue and black hair tackled Sylvia in a hug. "Is this him? The hunk you've been obsessing over for decades?"

Sylvia giggled manically, returning her sister's embrace. "Sophia! Yes, this is my Adam, isn't he dreamy?" She sighed, gazing at Adam adoringly.

Sophia gave Adam a once-over, smirking impishly. "Not bad, sorella. Not bad at all. So, when can we expect the pitter patter of little angel feet, hmm?"

"Sophia!" Sylvia gasped, smacking her sister's arm. "We're not even married yet!...But soon, very soon, if I have anything to say about it." She grinned disturbingly, a manic gleam in her eye.

Adam chuckled uncomfortably, taking a small step back. Just then, another figure appeared in the doorway, a willowy angel with long brown hair and unsettling blue eyes framed in red glasses.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the famous Adam," she purred, slinking over to the couple. "I'm Magnolia, but you can call me Maggie. I've heard so much about you...perhaps too much." she joked.

Sylvia frowned, pulling Adam possessively closer. "Now Maggie, don't you start-"

"I must say, you're even more delicious in person," Maggie continued, ignoring her sister. She traced a sharp nail down Adam's chest, grinning wickedly. "I can see why Sylvia's so...enamored. She's always had a thing for men in power. I give it six months before she's got you tied up in her basement, drained of all vital fluids." She let out a sinister chuckle.

"MAGGIE!" Sylvia screeched, eye twitching. "Shut your whore mouth before I sew it shut myself!" She rounded on Adam, smiling a bit too wide. "Don't listen to her, pookie, she's just jealous of our love!"

Adam gulped, beginning to sweat nervously. He was seriously rethinking this whole 'meet the family' thing. Just then, a final figure appeared, a demure-looking angel with short brown hair and a gentle smile.

"Hello Adam, I'm Mistiella, but please call me Misty," she greeted warmly, dipping her head respectfully. "It's wonderful to finally meet the man my sister is so...passionate about."

Sylvia beamed at Misty, hugging her tightly. "Misty! My sweet, pure baby sister! You're the only one who truly understands the depths of my devotion!" She turned to Adam, grinning. "Misty is almost as pious and godly as you, sugar plum. A truly holy soul...unlike some people." She shot a glare at Maggie and Sophia, Sophia stared back oblivious while Magnolia gave a smile that said she was very much not sorry.

Misty smiled sympathetically at Adam, patting his arm. "I hope you know what you're getting into, Adam. My sister's love is...intense. Pray for strength and guidance." She made the sign of the cross, eyes full of pity.

Adam smiled weakly, thoroughly disturbed and wondering how the heaven he was going to escape this family of psychos. Sergei glared, Sophia giggled, Maggie leered, and Misty prayed as Sylvia clung to him like a demented barnacle, grinning fit to split her face.

This was going to be a long, long day...and an even longer eternity if Sylvia had her way. Adam was beginning to question his life choices, divine dick or no. His crazy hot girlfriend was starting to look more crazy than hot in the light of her family's collective insanity.

Heaven help him indeed.

Chapter Text

Sylvia and Adam lay tangled in the sheets of Adam's penthouse bedroom, basking in the afterglow of another marathon lovemaking session. Sylvia traced idle patterns on Adam's sweat-slicked chest, a pensive pout on her kiss-swollen lips.

"Adam, my love," she began, voice uncharacteristically uncertain. "We spend so much time together, and we 'spend time together' constantly...but sometimes I feel like you don't treat me like a real girlfriend."

Adam quirked an eyebrow, propping himself up on an elbow to look at Sylvia. "What do you mean, babe? We fuck like rabbits on Viagra, I let you cook me meals and clean my place. Isn't that boyfriend-girlfriend stuff?"

Sylvia sighed, sitting up and hugging her knees to her ample chest. "It's more than that, Adam. I want to be able to hold your hand in public, to kiss you whenever I want, to carve our initials into trees and declare my undying love for you from the rooftops!"

Her eyes took on a manic gleam as she spoke, fingers twitching. Adam chuckled nervously, scooting back a bit.

"Babe, you know I care about you," he placated, reaching out to stroke her hair. "I care about your hot bod, your tight little pussy, the way you worship my cock like it's the holy grail..."

Sylvia smacked his hand away, pouting petulantly. "But do you care about ME, Adam? Do you want to be with me, really BE with me, freely and openly?"

Her lower lip began to tremble, eyes welling with crazed tears. Adam panicked, not wanting to deal with a psychotic crying jag.

"Whoa, whoa, hey now, don't cry!" He pulled Sylvia into his arms, rubbing her back soothingly. "Of course I want to be with you, sugar tits. You're my best lay, my ride-or-die bitch."

Sylvia sniffled, peering up at him hopefully. "Really? You mean it?"

Adam nodded, grinning roguishly. "Absolutely. In fact..." He tilted her chin up, gazing into her eyes. "Sylvia, you crazy, sexy minx, will you be my girlfriend? My one and only dick warmer?"

Sylvia's eyes widened, a manic grin spreading across her face. She let out an earsplitting squeal of joy, tackling Adam back onto the bed in a flurry of limbs.

"YES! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" she shrieked, peppering his face with frantic kisses. "Oh Adam, you've made me the happiest angel in all of creation! I'm yours, mind, body, and soul! I'll be the best girlfriend you've ever had, I swear it!"

Adam chuckled, groping Sylvia's ass as she wriggled atop him. "I don't doubt it, babe. You're already the clingiest, most obsessed chick I've ever fucked."

Sylvia giggled manically, a disturbing light in her eyes. "And I'll only get clingier and more obsessed with time, my love! Soon, you'll be all I think about, all I see, the sole reason for my existence! I'll make you the center of my universe, the god of my twisted religion! I'll do anything for you, ANYTHING!"

She rolled her hips against his, biting her lip coquettishly. "Now, how about we 'consummate' our new relationship status? I want you to fuck me like I'm your official property, your personal cock sleeve for all eternity!"

Adam grinned lecherously, flipping Sylvia onto her back and crawling on top of her. "Fuck yeah, that's my nasty girl. Gonna pound this pussy until you're cross-eyed and drooling, chanting my name like a prayer!"

Sylvia moaned wantonly, wrapping her legs around Adam's waist. "Yes, YES! Take me, claim me, make me yours in the eyes of God!"

As Adam proceeded to thoroughly violate his new girlfriend in every position imaginable, Sylvia's deranged laughter echoed off the walls, a testament to her deepening psychosis and obsession.

She was officially Adam's girl now...and Heaven help anyone who tried to get in the way of their beautifully fucked up love. Sylvia would burn the whole Silver City down before she let her man go.

This was forever, whether Adam knew it yet or not. And forever was going to be a wild, wild ride...

Chapter Text

Sylvia and Adam are at a high-end bar in Heaven, enjoying a few drinks and each other's company. Sylvia looks stunning in a tight blue dress that shows off her curves, drawing the attention of many patrons. One particularly bold angel approaches their table, his eyes fixed on Sylvia.

"Well hello there, beautiful. I don't think I've seen you around here before. I'm sure I would remember a face as lovely as yours." the angel said.

"Oh, thank you, but I'm actually here with-" Sylvia said disinterested, though polite. If it was up to her, this guy would at best, be unconscious and left behind the bar and at worse, tied up in her basement.

The angel cut her off, "Come on, ditch this loser and come have a drink with me. I'll show you a good time, baby." he slurred.

The angel reaches out to touch Sylvia's arm. Suddenly, Adam's hand shoots out, grabbing the angel's wrist in a crushing grip.

Adam's eyes blazed with possessive fury, "Get your fucking hand off my woman before I break it off, pal." he threatened.

The angel paled, "H-hey man, I didn't know she was taken! I was just being friendly!" he said, trying to pull away.

Adam stood up, towering over the angel menacingly, "Friendly? You were hitting on my girl right in front of me, you disrespectful prick. Sylvia is mine, got it?" he said. Adam tightened his grip, making the angel yelp in pain, "Now apologize to her and get the fuck out of my sight."

"I'm sorry, Sylvia! I didn't mean any disrespect! Please, let me go!" the angel whimpered.

Adam releases him with a shove, sending the angel stumbling away. He sits back down, pulling Sylvia into his lap protectively.

"You okay, baby? The nerve of that guy, trying to make a move on my woman..." Adam said, nuzzling her neck.

"I'm fine, darling. You know I only have eyes for you." Sylvia reassured calmly.

Inside, Sylvia is absolutely thrilled. "He called me his woman! In public! Oh my gosh, it's really happening! I'm officially Adam's girl!" She thinks, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Damn right you do. You're all mine, Sylvia. I won't let anyone else touch you." Adam said, growling possessively.

Sylvia melted into his embrace, "I wouldn't want anyone else to touch me, Adam. I belong to you, body and soul." she said.

They share a deep, claiming kiss, ignoring the stares of the other patrons. Sylvia feels like she's floating on air, secure in the knowledge that she is Adam's and Adam's alone. The scene fades out on their passionate embrace, Sylvia's heart soaring with joy at finally being publicly claimed by the man of her dreams.

Chapter Text

Adam was in his and Sylvia's bedroom, throwing clothes and toiletries into a suitcase. Sylvia walks in and stops short, her eyes widening in alarm.

"A-Adam? What's going on? Why are you packing?" Sylvia asked, her voice trembling.

Adam looked up, noticing his wife. "Oh, hey babe. Just getting ready for that conference I told you about, remember? The one in the Ethereal Plane? I'll be gone for a few days." Adam explained.

Sylvia's face crumpled. She rushes over to Adam, clutching at his arm.

"No, no, no! You can't leave me! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for whatever I did wrong! I'll be better, I swear! Just please, please don't go!" Sylvia pleaded.

"Whoa, Sylvie, slow down! What are you talking about? You didn't do anything wrong." Adam said, startled by her dramatics.

Sylvia stared at her husband, tears streaming down her face. "Then why are you leaving? Is it because I'm too clingy? Too needy? Too much?" she asked, a loud sob escaping her mouth. "I can change, Adam, I promise! I'll do anything, just don't abandon me!"

Adam sets down the shirt he was folding and takes Sylvia by the shoulders, looking her in the eye.

"Sylvia, listen to me. I am not abandoning you. I'm not leaving because of anything you did or didn't do. This is just a standard work trip, nothing more. I'll be back before you know it." Adam reassured her firmly but gently.

Sylvia sniffles, "Really? You're not just saying that to make me feel better?" Sylvia asked.

Adam cups her face, "Really. I love you, you crazy woman. A few days apart isn't going to change that." he said.

Sylvia nuzzles into his touch, "I love you too, Adam. More than anything." Sylvia said, she bites her lip. "I'm sorry for freaking out. I just... the thought of being without you, even for a little while... it terrifies me." she admitted.

Adam smiled softly at her, "I know, sugar. But it's healthy for us to spend time apart occasionally. It doesn't mean I love you any less. Okay?" 

Sylvia takes in a shaky breath, "Okay. I'll try to keep that in mind." she said.

"That's my girl." he said, and kissed her forehead

Sylvia helps him finish packing, trying to put on a brave face. But when it comes time for Adam to leave, she clings to him like a lifeline.

"I'm going to miss you so much. Call me every day?" Sylvia asked, her face desperately buried in his chest.

Adam chuckled, "You got it, clingy. Try not to burn the house down pining for me while I'm gone."

Sylvia swatted at his chest half-heartedly, "Don't even joke about that. My world revolves around you." she said.

Adam grinned at his wife, "As it should. See you in a few days, sexy. Be good." he said.

With a final peck on the lips, Adam departs. Sylvia watches him go, fighting the urge to run after him. Once he's out of sight, she wraps her arms around herself, already feeling his absence like a physical ache.

"Hurry back to me, my love. Every moment without you is agony." Sylvia whispered.

She retreats inside to begin the torturous wait for his return, unaware that her desperate dependency is far from healthy. But for Sylvia, this is what love looks like - and she'll endure any amount of suffering to keep it.

Chapter Text

Sylvia hums happily to herself as she enters Adam's penthouse, using the key she'd secretly copied. He's out on business, which gives her the perfect opportunity to do some cleaning... and a little snooping.

She starts in the bedroom, stripping the sheets and inhaling deeply. Adam's musky scent fills her nostrils, making her shiver with delight. As she remakes the bed with fresh linens, she imagines herself as Adam's wife, keeping their marital home spick and span.

Sylvia sighed dreamily, "One day, my love... One day this will be our bedroom." Sylvia said.

She moves on to his closet, running her fingers over his clothes. On impulse, she grabs one of his shirts and stuffs it into her bag. A little memento for her secret Adam shrine back home.
Next, she tackles the bathroom, scrubbing every surface until it gleams. She finds a few stray hairs in his brush and carefully collects them, adding them to her bag. In the medicine cabinet, she discovers his favorite cologne. She spritzes some on her wrists, relishing the scent.

"Mmm, just like having you close to me, darling..." Sylvia murmured.

She continues her cleaning spree in the living room, dusting and polishing every surface. She even rearranges his DVDs alphabetically, wanting everything to be perfect.

In the kitchen, Sylvia gets to work preparing a gourmet meal. She sets the table with candles and a vase of roses, creating a romantic atmosphere. Just as she's putting the finishing touches on dessert, she hears the front door open.

"Sylvia? You here, babe?" Adam called in.

Sylvia quickly composes herself, smoothing down her apron. She saunters out of the kitchen, a sultry smile on her face.

"Welcome home, my love. I thought I'd surprise you with a little dinner... and some dessert." Sylvia purred.

She gestures to the candlelit table, then slowly unties her apron, revealing a skimpy maid outfit underneath. Adam's eyes widen, a grin spreading across his face.

"Well, fuck me. This is one hell of a surprise, sweetheart." Adam said.

He pulls her into his arms, kissing her deeply. Sylvia melts into his embrace, thrilled by his reaction.

"The place looks amazing, babe. You didn't have to do all this." Adam murmured against her lips.

Sylvia smiled coyly, "I know, but I wanted to. I love taking care of you, Adam." she said.

Adam smirks, his hands sliding down to squeeze her ass through the thin fabric of her outfit.

"And I fucking love coming home to this. Best girlfriend ever." he said.

Sylvia beams, her heart soaring at his words. Girlfriend. It's a step closer to her ultimate goal.

Sylvia batted her eyelashes at him, "Well, why don't you sit down and let me serve you, baby? I made all your favorites." 

Adam growled playfully, :Oh, I'll let you serve me, all right... But let's save that for dessert." he said.

He scoops her up, carrying her towards the bedroom. Sylvia giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck.

In the back of her mind, she's already planning their future together.

Mrs. Sylvia Adams...or Mr. Adam Dmitri.

Both had a nice ring to it.

Chapter Text

 Adam, Sylvia, and Lute are in a celestial conference room, discussing strategies for the upcoming extermination.

"So, I think if we deploy the main force here, and have a smaller unit flank from the east..." Adam said, pointing at a map.

Lute nods, "That could work. We could catch them off guard, minimize our casualties." she said.

As they talk, Sylvia is only half-listening. Her eyes are fixed on Adam, a dreamy, slightly unhinged look on her face. She's completely lost in her adoration of her husband.

Adam turned to Sylvia, "What do you think, Sylvie? You've been pretty quiet." he remarked.

Sylvia doesn't respond, still staring at Adam with unblinking intensity.

Lute waving a hand in front of Sylvia's face. "Sylvia? Are you alright?" she asked.

Sylvia starts, blinking rapidly as she comes back to herself.

"What? Oh, yes, I'm fine! I was just... uh... thinking deeply about the strategy!" Sylvia said flustered.

"Must have been some pretty intense thoughts. You were staring at me like I was the last slice of pizza at a party." Adam said, smirking.

Sylvia laughed nervously, "Was I? I didn't realize..." she said.

Lute rose an eyebrow at her leader's wife, "Do you often find yourself staring at people, Sylvia?" she asked.

"No!" Sylvia said defensively before thinking about it, "Well... maybe sometimes. But only when I'm really focused on something! Or someone..." she explained, her eyes slowly trailing back to the first man.

Adam chuckled, "Hey, I'm not complaining. I like having my wife's undivided attention." he said.

Sylvia blushed in response, "Oh, Adam, you always have my attention. My thoughts, my heart... everything." she said lovingly.

She's started to stare again, her eyes going slightly glazed. Lute clears her throat uncomfortably.

"Perhaps we should get back to the matter at hand?" she asked.

Adam waved a hand at Lute, still smirking at Sylvia, "Yeah, yeah, sure. But first..."

He leans over, planting a big, dramatic kiss on Sylvia's lips. Sylvia squeaks in surprise before melting into the kiss, her hands coming up to caress the sides of Adam's face through his mask.

Lute sighed at the sight heavily, "Sir, Ma'am, please. We have work to do." she tried to get things back on track.

Adam pulls back, leaving Sylvia flushed and starry-eyed.

Adam winked at Lute, "Just giving my girl something to stare at. Gotta keep that intense focus of hers on me, you know?" he said.

Lute rolled her eyes, "Yes, because Sylvia's attention is so prone to wandering." she said sarcastically.

Sylvia barely heard the sarcasm, too busy tracing Adam's features with her eyes, committing every detail to memory.

Adam clapped his hands together, "Alright, back to business. But babe, try to keep your eyes on the map, yeah? At least for a little while." he asked.

"I make no promises, my love." Sylvia cooed dreamily.

The scene fades out on Lute's exasperated sigh, Adam's laughter, and Sylvia's adoring gaze, her staring problem now out in the open, just another quirk in the strange, intense love story of the Dmitris.

Chapter Text

The late afternoon sun filtered through the curtains of the Dimitri bedroom, casting a warm glow over the tangled sheets and entwined bodies within. Adam lay propped up on one elbow, his free hand tracing idle patterns on the smooth expanse of Sylvia's back as she dozed, her head pillowed on his broad chest.

He marveled at the contrast of his work-roughened palm against her soft, bronze skin, committing every dip and curve to tactile memory. Even after all their years together, Adam never tired of mapping his wife's body, of relearning every inch of her like a sacred text.

Sylvia stirred slightly, a contented hum escaping her parted lips. The sunlight danced along the blue and black strands of her hair, turning it into a prismatic halo on the pillow. Adam smiled, utterly besotted by the sight.

God, she was beautiful. A fucking masterpiece crafted by the universe itself, all lush curves and lean muscle, fierce strength and endless compassion. Sometimes he still couldn't believe she was his, that he got to wake up to this stunning creature every morning and fall asleep with her in his arms every night.

He was the luckiest bastard on the planet, bar none.

Unable to resist, Adam leaned down to press a soft kiss to Sylvia's shoulder blade, his stubble rasping against her skin. She shivered, slowly blinking awake and turning her head to grace him with a sleepy smile.

"Mmm, someone's feeling affectionate," she murmured, arching into his touch like a cat. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this wake-up call, handsome?"

Adam grinned, sliding his hand lower to cup the enticing swell of her ass. "Just admiring the view, gorgeous. Can't a man appreciate his wife's breathtaking beauty without an ulterior motive?"

Sylvia giggled, the sound still throaty from sleep and their earlier activities. "He can...but we both know your appreciation tends to be rather hands-on, my insatiable husband."

To emphasize her point, she wiggled her hips, grinding back against Adam's half-hard length. He groaned, his fingers flexing on her supple flesh.

"Guilty as charged," he rumbled, nuzzling into the crook of her neck to nip at the sensitive skin. "But can you blame me? Waking up to all this glorious temptation, soft and warm and naked in my bed? It's a miracle I ever make it out the door in the morning."

Sylvia hummed, tilting her head to give him better access. "And yet, you always come back for more. Glutton for punishment, are we?"

"Glutton for you," Adam corrected, laving his tongue over the fading marks he'd left on her throat the night before. "Addicted to your taste, your scent, the sounds you make when I'm buried deep inside you. Can't get enough of my sexy, wild, outrageously perfect wife."

He punctuated his words with a slow roll of his hips, letting Sylvia feel the effect she had on him. She gasped, her body instantly responding to his as it always did.

"Fuck, Adam," she breathed, reaching back to thread her fingers through his sleep-mussed hair. "I'm already sore from last night...and this morning...and that little nooner in the kitchen..."

Adam chuckled, the sound a dark promise. "Oh, I know. I can feel it. You're still so wet and swollen, so fuckin' hot for me."

He dragged his hand up her side to cup one full breast, thumbing the pebbled nipple. "Don't worry, baby, I'll kiss it better. Gonna lick that sweet pussy until you're shaking and sobbing, begging me to fill you up again."

Sylvia whimpered, her nails scratching at his scalp as he painted filthy images in her mind. "You're insatiable. We've barely left this bed all weekend, you know that? I'm starting to forget what the outside world looks like."

Adam grinned wolfishly, sliding his thigh between hers and bringing his hand down to tease at her slick folds. "Good. My evil plan is working. Gonna keep you in this bed forever, my own personal sex kitten to play with whenever I want."

He dipped one thick finger into her heat, groaning at the obscene squelch of her arousal. "Goddamn, listen to that. Listen to how wet you are for me, Sylvie. So fuckin' ready to be split open on my cock again, aren't you babygirl?"

Sylvia keened, rocking shamelessly against his hand as he worked another finger inside her. "Yes, fuck, always. Always ready for you, always so empty when you're not in me."

Adam growled, a possessive thrill zinging down his spine at her wanton admission. "Fuck yeah, you are. My perfect little cock sleeve, made just for me. Gonna stuff you so full of my cum, you'll be dripping for days."

He withdrew his fingers, ignoring Sylvia's needy whine as he shifted to blanket her body with his own. His thick length slid through her slick folds, teasing at her entrance.

"Gonna ruin this sweet cunt for anyone else," he rasped hotly in her ear, one hand gripping her hip as the other fisted in her hair. "Fuck you so deep and hard, you'll never want another cock again. Ruin you for all other men, make it so you can only come on my dick, my tongue, my fingers."

Sylvia was panting now, her skin flushed and eyes glassy with fever-bright arousal. "Yes, god, please. Ruin me, wreck me, make me yours. Only yours, forever."

With a punched-out groan, Adam lined up and sank into her welcoming heat, splitting her open on his thick girth. They both cried out at the scorching pleasure, Sylvia's body drawing him in greedily.
"Fuck, baby, you take me so well," Adam praised through gritted teeth, bottoming out and grinding against her cervix. "Fucking made for my cock, I swear to god."

Sylvia could only moan brokenly in response, too lost in the sensation of Adam's pulsing length inside her, stretching her walls and lighting up every nerve ending. She was on fire, burning up from the inside out with need and pleasure and raw, unbridled love.

Adam took her with long, deep strokes, filling her again and again until she was babbling incoherently, begging for harder, faster, more. He obliged with a feral grin, slamming into her with enough force to rock the bed against the wall.

The room filled with the symphony of their passion - the obscene slap of skin on skin, the wet squelch of Sylvia's dripping cunt, the hitching moans and grunts and gasped endearments. It was raw and primal, a physical manifestation of the intense love and desire that burned between them.

Sylvia came first, her muscles seizing as her orgasm crashed over her in waves of molten bliss. She keened Adam's name like a prayer, clenching down on his pistoning cock and milking him for all he was worth.

Adam followed her over the edge with a shout, burying himself to the hilt as he pumped her full of his hot release. Sylvia shuddered and writhed beneath him, lost to the sensation of being so thoroughly claimed and possessed.

They collapsed into a sweaty, panting tangle of limbs, trading lazy kisses as they drifted back down to earth. Adam gathered Sylvia close, nuzzling into her hair and breathing in their combined scent of sex and love.

"Incredible as always, sweetheart," he rumbled, stroking her flank soothingly. "You never fail to blow my mind."

Sylvia giggled breathlessly, still feeling floaty and fucked-out. "Mmm, I aim to please. Though at this rate, I may never walk again. You've definitely succeeded in ruining me, mister."

Adam grinned, unrepentant. "Mission accomplished, then. Guess I'll just have to carry you everywhere from now on. Perfect excuse to keep my hands on you at all times."

Sylvia laughed, swatting at his chest playfully. "Incorrigible. What am I gonna do with you?"

Adam waggled his eyebrows, rolling them over so Sylvia sprawled across his chest. "Oh, I can think of a few things. My refractory period isn't what it used to be, but for you? I'm always ready to go, baby."

Sylvia felt him stir against her thigh, already half-hard again. She bit her lip, torn between arousal and amused exasperation.

"Adam, please.." Sylvia said. It was supposed to be a protest, but it sounded more like a plead instead.

"Oh please." Adam scoffed, he grabbed her hand and made her stroke it. "Like you hate this?"

Sylvia's eyes looked away from Adam but she still continued stroking his cock even as Adam's hand left hers. 

Adam was right, she could never hate all the love he gave her.

And if she ended up walking funny when at an outing tomorrow? Well, that was a price she was more than willing to pay.

After all, what good was a weekend off if you didn't spend it getting thoroughly debauched by your insatiable hunk of a husband?

In the Dimitri household, lazy Sundays were for love, laughter, and a whole lotta lovemaking.

And Sylvia wouldn't have it any other way.

Chapter Text

Adam burst through the front door, a grin splitting his face. "Honey, I'm home! Where's my sexy little minx at? Daddy's got a hankering for some sugar!"

"In the kitchen, stud muffin!" Sylvia called back cheerfully.

Adam sauntered into the kitchen, eyes roving appreciatively over Sylvia's form as she stood at the counter. "Damn, baby, that ass is looking extra juicy toda- HOLY SHIT!"

He finally registered the golden gash running down Sylvia's arm, still oozing blood.

Sylvia glanced at him, brow furrowed. "What? Is there something on my face?"

Adam gaped, gesturing wildly at her injury. "Your arm! What the hell happened?!"

Sylvia looked down, as if just noticing the wound. "Oh, this little thing? Just a scratch from work. You should see the other guy!" She said, jokingly before cackling maniacally.

Adam's eye twitched. "A scratch? Sylvie, I can see bone! We need to get you to a hospital, like, yesterday!"

 "Psh, hospitals are for wimps," Sylvia scoffed, waving him off. "I'm fine! Nothing a little concealer can't fix. Now, about that sugar..."

Adam shook his head, knowing better than to argue... for now. "Alright, sweetheart. How about we go out for dinner tonight? My treat."

"Aw, snookums, you're so sweet taking me on a surprise date!" Sylvia cooed, snuggling into Adam's side as they drove.

Adam smiled tightly, guilt gnawing at his insides. "Yep, just a normal, run-of-the-mill date. Nothing suspicious here!"

As they pulled into the hospital parking lot, Sylvia's eyes narrowed, "What the- Adam Dimitri, you sneaky bastard!" Sylvia gasped, realizing she'd been duped.

She made a break for it, trying to fly out of the car, but Adam's strong arms wrapped around her waist, easily lifting her squirming form.

"Nice try, Houdini," he chuckled, carrying her towards the entrance. "But you're getting checked out whether you like it or not."

"Betrayal! Mutiny! I demand a divorce!" Sylvia wailed dramatically as Adam marched them into the ER, ignoring the amused looks from the staff.

Later that evening,

Sylvia sat on the couch, arms crossed and lower lip jutting out in an impressive pout. Her newly-bandaged arm was propped on a pillow.

Adam plopped down beside her, tugging her into his side. "Aw, come on, sugar tits. Don't be mad. I was just worried about you."

Sylvia harrumphed but snuggled closer, unable to resist his warmth. "You're lucky you're so comfy, you big lug. Otherwise I'd be giving you the silent treatment for at least another hour."

Adam chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you too, you adorable little psycho. Now, what do you say we watch some trashy reality TV and forget all about shitty hospitals, hm?"
Sylvia's pout finally cracked into a grin. "Only if you promise to rub my feet during the commercials."

"Deal," Adam agreed, already reaching for the remote. As Sylvia settled more comfortably against him, he sent up a silent prayer of thanks for his wild, wonderful, slightly unhinged wife.

Life with Sylvia was never boring, that was for damn sure. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

Chapter Text

Sylvia barges into Adam's penthouse, a pouty look on her face. Adam is lounging on the couch, playing video games.

"Adam, why have you been ignoring my calls? I've left you like a hundred messages!" Sylvia whined.

"Babe, I told you, I've been busy. I've got shit to do, you know?" Adam said, not even looking up from his game.

Sylvia stomped her foot down, "But what about me? What about my needs? We had all those amazing nights together, and now you're just pushing me away!" she fussed.

"Sylvie, come on. It's been like, two days. Don't be so dramatic." Adam said, sighing.

Sylvia's eyes became to well up, "Dramatic? You think I'm being dramatic? Well, excuse me for wanting to spend time with the man I love!" she cried, tears running down her bronze cheeks.

She flops down on the couch next to him, sniffling loudly.

"You don't care about me at all, do you? I'm just another notch on your bedpost!" she accused.

Adam rolled his eyes, "Oh, for fuck's sake. Of course, I care about you, Sylvia. But you gotta give me some space, you know? You're being way too clingy." he said.

"I am not clingy! I just love you so much, and I want to be with you all the time!" Sylvia said genuinely.

Adam groaned, "Look, how about this? I promise I'll give you a big ol' kiss later, okay? But right now, I really need to focus on this game." he said experasted.

Sylvia crossed her arms, "I don't want a kiss later! I want a kiss now!" she demanded childishly.

She lunges at Adam, trying to plant a big, sloppy kiss on his mouth. Adam ducks out of the way, causing Sylvia to face-plant into the couch cushions.

"Woah there, tiger! Down, girl!" Adam said, laughing.

"Mmmph! Adam, kiss me!" Sylvia said, muffled by the cushions. She flails her arms and legs comically, trying to grab onto Adam. He scoots away, still chuckling.

"Nuh-uh, baby. You want these lips, you gotta earn 'em. Now, be a good girl and let me finish my game, okay?" Adam teased.

Sylvia sits up, her hair mussed and her bottom lip trembling. She sniffles dramatically.

"Fine. But you better make it up to me later, mister!" Sylvia whimpered.

Adam winked at her in response.

"Oh, I will, Sylvie. Trust me, I'll make it worth the wait." he said, infuriatingly charmingly.

Sylvia huffs, but settles back onto the couch, watching Adam play with a longing look on her face. She inches closer to him bit by bit, until she's practically in his lap.

'Fuck, this chick is nuts. But hey, at least the sex is amazing. And who doesn't love a little worship now and then?' Adam thought to himself.

He smirks to himself as Sylvia clings to his arm, her neediness both exasperating and strangely endearing.

Chapter Text

We open in Heaven, with Lute standing at attention. Her face is stoic as ever, but her eyes are sharp, scanning the celestial realm with a wary gaze. Suddenly, a familiar figure catches her attention.

Sylvia skips through the streets of Heaven, a basket of flowers on her arm and a maniacal grin on her face. She's singing to herself, a discordant tune that sends shivers down Lute's spine.

"🎵 Picking flowers for my love, my Adam from above! He'll wear them in his hair, and I'll be his to tear! 🎵" 

Lute frowned, her hand tightening on the hilt of her spear. She's seen this behavior from Sylvia before - the manic gleam in her eyes, the unsettling devotion to Adam. It's not right, not for an angel.

'That woman is a psychopath. The way she fawns over Adam, like he's some kind of god... it's unnatural. And yet, he's completely wrapped around her finger. I don't understand it.'

A group of angels passes by Sylvia, waving and smiling at her. She waves back, her grin widening to an almost grotesque degree.

"Good morning, Sylvia! Lovely day, isn't it?" an angel asked.

Sylvia giggled before responding, "Oh yes, a perfect day for a picnic! Just gathering some flowers for my darling husband."

The angels chuckle, shaking their heads fondly.

"Oh, Sylvia. You and your quirks. Never change, dear!" the angel said, blissfully unaware.

They move on, leaving Sylvia to continue her skipping. Lute's frown deepened, her eyes narrowing.

"They all just wave it off, like it's some cute little idiosyncrasy. "Oh, that's just Sylvia being Sylvia." But I've seen the things she does when she thinks no one's watching. The "offerings" she leaves at Adam's altar, the way she talks to herself in the mirrors..."

A flashback shows Lute walking past Adam and Sylvia's bedroom, only to hear a series of loud, disturbing noises from within.

"Yes, Adam! Harder, deeper! Split me in half with your holy scepter!" Sylvia moaned, muffled by the door.

"Fuck, Sylvie, your pussy's so tight! Gonna fill you up, breed this hungry cunt!" Adam grunted, also muffled.

Lute shuddered, quickening her pace to get away from the depraved sounds. The flashback ends, bringing us back to the present.

"And the things I've overheard them doing... it's enough to make even an Archangel blush. There's devotion, and then there's whatever twisted thing they have."

Sylvia stopped suddenly, as if sensing Lute's gaze on her. She turned slowly, her eyes locking with the Exorcist's across the distance. A slow, unsettling smile spreads across her face.

"I see you watching, Lute. But you can't touch me. I'm Adam's favorite... and I always will be." she mouthed silently.

Lute stiffens, her hand clenching around her spear. But she doesn't move, doesn't react. She simply stares back, her face an impassive mask.

"I'm watching you, Sylvia Dmitri. I know there's something wrong with you, something dangerous. And I won't let you hurt Adam, or anyone else in Heaven. I'll be your shadow, your every waking nightmare. And if you step out of line... I'll be there to put you down."

The scene ends with the two angels locked in a silent battle of wills, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. The camera pans up to the clear blue sky, a deceptive calm belying the storm brewing beneath the surface of Heaven's supposed tranquility.

Chapter Text

Sylvia bursts into the house, her face flushed with anger and frustration. She spotted Adam lounging on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV.

"Adam! My darling, perfect husband! Just the man I needed to see." Sylvia exclaimed, marching over to him.

Adam looked up, confused. "Uh, hey babe. What's up? You look like you're on a mission." he asked.

Sylvia grabbed his hand, yanking him off the couch and dragging him towards their bedroom. Adam stumbled after her, bewildered but intrigued.

"You. Bedroom. Now." she exclaimed. She slams the door behind them. She pushed Adam onto the bed, straddling his lap and cupping his face in her hands.

Adam raised an eyebrow, "Not that I'm complaining, but what's got you all riled up, babe?" he asked.

"Fucking Lucifer, that's what! That slimy, pale, blonde gremlin spent the whole damn day trying to get in my pants, bragging about how he stole your first two wives like it was some kind of fucking accomplishment!" Sylvia explained, upset.

"He did what now? Oh, I'm gonna kick his scrawny ass from here to the ninth circ-" Adam exclaimed, angrily.

Sylvia interrupted her husband, "No, no, don't you see? He doesn't matter, Adam. He's nothing, a pathetic little worm compared to you." she insulted. "You're the only man for me, the only one who can satisfy me in every way possible."

She grinded down on him, emphasizing her point. Adam groans, his hands flying to her hips.

"Damn right I am, baby. No one fucks you like I do, no one makes you scream like I can." Adam moaned huskily.

"Yes, Adam, yes! Your cock is the only one I want, the only one I need. It's so big, so thick, so perfect for my tight little pussy..." Sylvia moaned.

"Fuck, Sylvie, you can't say shit like that and not expect me to tear your clothes off and pound you into the mattress." Adam growled.

Sylvia grinned wickedly, "Then what are you waiting for, my king? Take what's yours, claim me, remind me why I'm so fucking lucky to be your wife."

Adam surges up, flipping them over so Sylvia is pinned beneath him. He kisses her fiercely, all teeth and tongue, devouring her like a man starved.

"Mine. You're mine, Sylvia, now and forever. No pale-ass demon is ever gonna change that, you hear me?" Adam asked, panting.

"Yes, Adam, yours! Only ever yours, my big, strong, virile husband. The only one who can fill me up, make me whole, make me scream with pleasure..." Sylvia begged, writhing beneath him.

Adam sat back on his heels, ripping Sylvia's dress down the middle and exposing her heaving breasts. He palmed them roughly, tweaking her nipples until she's arching off the bed, desperate for more.

"These tits belong to me. This pussy belongs to me. Every inch of you is mine to worship, mine to claim, mine to fuck whenever and however I want." Adam snarled.

"Yes, yes, all yours! Please, Adam, fuck me, use me, make me forget every name but yours!" Sylvia pleaded, crying with need.

He does just that, plunging into her with one hard, deep stroke. Sylvia screams, her nails raking down his back as he sets a punishing pace, the bed shaking with the force of his thrusts.

"Take it, angel. Take my cock, take my cum, take everything I have to give you. Fucking drown in it, in how much I love you, how much I need you..." Adam grunted.

"Yes, Adam, yes! I love you, I love you, I love you!" Sylvia chanted.

They come together in a blinding flash of ecstasy, their bodies and souls merging into one perfect, eternal whole. As they lie tangled in the aftermath, sweat cooling on their skin, Sylvia presses soft kisses to Adam's chest, right over his thundering heart. Adam stroked Sylvia's hair, a smug grin on his face.

"You know, if that's the reaction I get, maybe I should send Lucifer a fruit basket. Thank him for reminding my wife of what a catch she landed." Adam teased, chuckling.

Sylvia giggled at her husband's words, "Don't you dare! I don't want that creep getting any ideas. You're mine, mister, and I don't share." she chided jokingly. She was just saying that, but she would not be surprised if that creep came sniffing for her hubby.

Adam nuzzled into her neck, "Wouldn't dream of it, angel. You're stuck with me, for all of eternity. Poor you."

"Oh yes. Poor, lucky, blissfully satisfied me." Sylvia sighed happily.

They laugh, trading soft kisses as the scene fades out - just another day in the crazy, wonderful, lust-filled love story of Adam and his one true angel.

Chapter Text

Sylvia hums cheerfully as she dusts the penthouse, her hips swaying to the rhythm. Her loose blue top rides up, exposing her toned midriff, but she pays it no mind. The asymmetrical white skirt with its cute blue heart flutters around her shapely thighs as she bends to clean lower shelves.

Adam lounges on the couch, openly ogling his wife's assets. "Damn, baby, forget the cleaning. Bring that fine ass over here," he leers, patting his lap invitingly.

Sylvia giggles, twirling to face him. Her black wedges, laced elegantly up her long legs, click on the marble floor. "In a minute, honey buns. I'm almost done."

She pirouettes past a framed photo of Lilith, Adam's first ex-wife. Sylvia glares at it, muttering, "Demon-fucker ain't got nothing on me."

She grabs the picture off the wall and smashes it on the ground, glass shattering.

Next, she dusts a painting of Eve, the second ex. "Man-stealing bitch," Sylvia grumbles. "Probably screwed Lucifer too." she muttered, also picking it off the wall and throwing it aside.

Adam chuckles at her jealous antics. "Forget them, sweetheart. You're the only girl for me now."

Sylvia beams at him, her annoyance instantly forgotten. She sashays over, planting herself in his lap. "Damn right I am. I'm the best wife ever," she declares, punctuating her words with a deep, sensual kiss.

Adam gropes her ass appreciatively. "Fuck yeah, you are," he growls against her lips. "My perfect little wifey. Cooking, cleaning, and putting out like a champ."

Sylvia giggles, smacking his chest playfully. "Speaking of cooking, I better start dinner. How do you feel about meatloaf?" she asked.

"I'd rather eat you," Adam waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Sylvia's eyes darken with lust. "Later, big boy," she promises sultrily. "Food first, then I'll make sure all your needs are satisfied."

She extracts herself from his grip, adjusting her skimpy top. As she clicks into the kitchen, swinging her hips exaggeratedly, she calls over her shoulder, "Oh, and after dinner, I have a special treat! I bought some new lingerie I think you'll love."

Adam perks up. "Well, hot damn! Better eat quick, eh?"

Sylvia's tinkling laugh echoes from the kitchen. "Don't you worry, baby. This'll be a meal you won't forget."

Shaking his head with a grin, Adam muses that he really lucked out with Wife #3. Who needs Lilith or Eve when you've got a dame like Sylvia?

Chapter Text

It was a perfect day in the Silver City, the celestial sun warming the pristine streets and casting a golden glow over the heavenly architecture. In the private courtyard of Adam and Sylvia's palatial estate, a sparkling pool beckoned invitingly, its crystal-clear waters promising a refreshing respite from the balmy weather.

Sylvia, ever the water nymph, couldn't resist the siren call of the pool. She slipped into a revealing white bikini that barely covered her ample assets, the contrast of the stark fabric against her bronzed skin absolutely sinful. With a giddy giggle, she dove into the cool embrace of the water, luxuriating in the silky caress of the liquid against her curves.

Unbeknownst to Sylvia, Adam had chosen that exact moment to step out onto the patio, intent on enjoying a lazy afternoon lounging in the sun. But the sight that greeted him drove all thoughts of relaxation from his mind, replacing them with a sudden, intense burst of lust.

There was his wife, his gorgeous, vivacious wife, cutting through the water like a sensual siren. The white bikini clung to her curves like a second skin, the wet fabric turning translucent and leaving very little to the imagination. Adam's mouth went dry as he traced the enticing outline of her pebbled nipples, the tantalizing valley of her cleavage, the mouthwatering swell of her hips.

Sylvia, oblivious to her husband's heated gaze, continued to frolic in the pool with carefree abandon. She dove beneath the surface, her pert bottom breaking the water like a perfect, heart-shaped island. Adam's fingers twitched with the urge to cup those lush globes, to feel them filling his palms as he squeezed and kneaded the supple flesh.

When Sylvia resurfaced, she tossed her head back with a jubilant laugh, sending droplets of water arcing through the air like liquid diamonds. Her wet hair clung to her neck and shoulders in slick, inky tendrils, making Adam's fingers itch with the desire to tangle in the damp locks and tug, exposing the elegant column of her throat to his hungry mouth.

But it was the rivulets of water that really tested Adam's restraint. They trickled over Sylvia's golden skin like glistening trails of honey, mapping every dip and curve of her luscious figure. They slipped teasingly beneath the meager covering of her bikini top, hinting at the treasures hidden beneath. They dipped into her navel, pooling in the tiny indentation like an invitation for Adam's tongue to follow suit.

Adam swallowed hard, trying to will away the insistent throbbing in his swim trunks. But it was a losing battle. Sylvia was a vision, a water-slicked goddess born to tempt him beyond all reason. He wanted nothing more than to dive into the pool with her, to chase those bewitching droplets with his lips and tongue until he had tasted every inch of her chlorine-kissed skin.

His hand drifted down to palm his growing erection through the thin material of his trunks, seeking some relief from the sweet ache of desire. But the light touch only made him throb harder, his hips rocking forward into his own grip as he imagined replacing it with Sylvia's slick heat.

A low, tortured groan rumbled up from Adam's chest, finally alerting Sylvia to his presence. She turned to face him with a dazzling smile, the picture of innocence despite the decidedly sinful way her bikini top struggled to contain her bouncing breasts.

"Adam, my love! Come join me!" she called out, beckoning him closer with a crook of her finger. "The water's absolutely divine."

Divine. Yes, that was the word for it. For her. Sylvia was divinity incarnate, a walking, talking temptation sent to drive Adam out of his mind with lust. And right now, he was very much under her spell, powerless to resist her siren's call.

With a growl of desperate need, Adam stripped off his trunks and dove into the pool, cutting through the water with powerful strokes until he reached his wife. Sylvia let out a delighted squeal as he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her flush against him, gasping when she felt the hard, insistent press of his erection against her stomach.
"Adam, what-"

Her question was cut off by the fierce slant of Adam's mouth over hers, his tongue plundering her depths with reckless abandon. Sylvia melted into the kiss with a wanton moan, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as he walked them towards the shallower end of the pool.

When the water was waist-high, Adam broke away from Sylvia's addictive mouth to blaze a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down her throat. He laved at the droplets clinging to her skin, tasting the faint hint of chlorine mixed with her natural honeyed essence.

"Fuck, baby, do you have any idea what you do to me?" he rasped against her collarbone, nipping at the delicate ridge. "Prancing around in this scrap of a bikini, putting all your delectable assets on display? It's enough to make a lesser angel fall."

Sylvia giggled breathlessly, throwing her head back to give Adam better access to her sensitive flesh. "I was just enjoying a simple swim, darling. It's not my fault you have a one-track mind."

Adam growled, retaliating with a sharp bite to the curve of her shoulder that made Sylvia yelp and shiver. "Can you blame me? Watching you frolic in the water like a goddamn water nymph, all shimmery and slick and mouthwatering? It's a miracle I didn't ravish you on the spot."

To punctuate his point, Adam slid his hands down to cup Sylvia's bottom, squeezing the firm globes and using his grip to grind her against his aching cock. Sylvia mewled, arching into him wantonly as liquid heat pooled in her core.

"Well then, by all means, ravish away," she purred, rolling her hips in shameless invitation. "I'm all yours for the taking, my insatiable stallion."

Permission granted, Adam wasted no time in divesting Sylvia of her skimpy bikini, groaning in appreciation as her bountiful curves were bared to his hungry gaze. He filled his hands with the weight of her breasts, thumbing the puckered peaks and relishing her kittenish mewls.

"Fuck yes, all mine," he rumbled possessively, pinching Sylvia's nipples just to hear her gasp. "This body, these tits, this sopping wet pussy - all of it belongs to me. And I'm going to claim every inch until you're screaming my name."

Suiting action to word, Adam hiked Sylvia higher on his waist and notched the blunt head of his cock at her entrance. With one smooth, forceful thrust, he sheathed himself to the hilt in her welcoming heat, groaning at the exquisite clench of her inner muscles around his length.

"Adam!" Sylvia cried out, nails digging into his shoulders as she was suddenly, gloriously filled. She felt every ridge and vein of his thick shaft as it stretched her wide, the delicious burn of the sudden penetration sending sparks of pleasure zinging up her spine.

Adam gave her a moment to adjust before he began to move, setting a deep, driving rhythm that had the water churning around them. He pistoned in and out of Sylvia's clutching sheath with single-minded purpose, determined to lay claim to her body in the most primal way possible.

Sylvia could only cling to him and take it, lost to the sensations crashing over her like tidal waves. Adam was fierce in his passion, almost feral, a man possessed by blind lust. It was intoxicating, being the sole focus of such intense desire. Sylvia reveled in it, cried out for more, even as each forceful thrust sent her careening towards oblivion.

They moved together in the water like two creatures of the sea, bodies undulating in a graceful dance as old as time. The slap of wet skin on skin and the splash of displaced water mixed with their harsh panting and wanton moans, a sensual symphony that echoed through the courtyard.

All too soon, Sylvia could feel the telltale tingle at the base of her spine, the coiling tension low in her belly that signaled her impending climax. She sank her teeth into Adam's shoulder, muffling her scream of ecstasy against his slick skin as her orgasm crashed over her like a tsunami.

Adam followed her over the edge with a guttural shout, his hips stuttering and jerking erratically as he pumped Sylvia full of his release. He groaned at the feeling of her inner walls milking him dry, prolonging his pleasure until he was wrung out and trembling.

They clung to each other in the aftermath, chests heaving and hearts pounding in sync as they basked in the afterglow. Adam pressed his forehead to Sylvia's, gazing into her eyes with a mix of awe and adoration.

"That was..."

"Incredible," Sylvia finished for him, a sated smile playing about her kiss-swollen lips. "Mind-blowing. Earth-shattering."

"All of the above," Adam agreed with a breathless chuckle, stealing a sweet kiss. "Fuck, baby, you undo me. I'm completely at your mercy."

Sylvia giggled, threading her fingers through Adam's damp hair and scratching at his scalp in the way she knew he loved. "Mmmm, I rather like having the Almighty Adam weak in the knees for little ol' me. It's a heady power, knowing I can bring a divine being to his knees with just a bat of my lashes and a wiggle of my hips."

Adam growled playfully, nipping at her jawline. "Careful, minx. You know what they say about absolute power."

Sylvia just grinned, a wicked glint in her eye. "Oh, I have every intention of corrupting you absolutely, my darling. Mind, body, and soul."

And really, who was Adam to argue with that? He was utterly, completely, irrevocably hers, in every sense of the word.

Sylvia owned him, heart and cock. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

So he simply captured her lips in another searing kiss, luxuriating in the slick slide of their bodies as they lost themselves in each other once more. The rest of the world faded away until nothing existed but the two of them, entwined in the water and in love.

And if Sylvia took to wearing skimpy bikinis and "innocently" frolicking in the pool more often after that day, well...

Adam certainly wasn't complaining. In fact, he made it a point to always be on hand for his wife's aquatic adventures.

You know.

Just in case she needed someone to rub sunscreen on all those hard-to-reach places.

Or pin her against the pool wall and fuck her until she forgot her own name.

After all, what were loving husbands for?

Chapter Text

INT. HEAVENLY BREAK ROOM - DAY

Sylvia stands by the coffee machine, humming happily to herself as she fixes a cup of Adam's favorite blend. Nearby, two female angels gossip by the water cooler, unaware of Sylvia's presence.

"Can you believe Commander Adam's latest stunt? He's such a pig, always making crass jokes and undressing us with his eyes." one angel scoffed.

The other female angel nodded in agreement, "I know, right? And the way he struts around like he's God's gift to women? Please, I wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole."

Sylvia freezes, her grip tightening on the coffee mug. Her eye twitches, a vein throbbing in her forehead as she listens to the angels badmouth her beloved husband.

One of them began to laugh, "Can you imagine being married to that oaf? His poor wife must be a saint to put up with his antics." she said.

THAT DOES IT!

Sylvia slams the mug down, shattering it and sending coffee flying. She whirls around, her blue eyes blazing with righteous fury.

"EXCUSE ME, BITCHES, BUT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY MAN?" Sylvia demanded angrily.

The angels jump, turning to face Sylvia with wide, startled eyes.

"Oh, M-Mrs. Dmitri! We didn't see you there..." one of the angels stammered.

Sylvia quickly stormed over, "Damn right you didn't, you two-faced harpies! How dare you talk shit about my Adam? He's the finest piece of angelic ass in all of Heaven, and you're just jealous you can't have him!" she said, pointing at them with a bronze manicured finger.

"We weren't...I mean, we didn't..." one angel said defensively.

"Shut up!" Sylvia interrupted, getting in their faces. "You don't know the first thing about my husband. Adam is a fucking sex god, you hear me? He makes me cum so hard, I see stars every damn night!"
The angels gape at her, their faces turning red with embarrassment and shock.

"And his dick? Oh, honey, let me tell you. It's like the Eighth Wonder of the World. Thick, veiny, and always ready to rock my world. I'm talking multiple orgasms, squirting like a fucking fountain, the whole shebang!"  Sylvia rambled, on a roll at this point.

"Mrs. Dmitri, please, this is highly inappropriate..." the other angel pointed out, mortified.

But Sylvia ignored her, "And don't even get me started on his tongue. That man could win Olympic gold in pussy eating, I swear to God. He licks my clit like it's his favorite flavor of ice cream, and when he sticks that tongue in my ass-"

"OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH, BABY!" Adam's voice chimed in off-screen.

Adam rushes in, his face a mixture of pride and embarrassment. He grabs Sylvia around the waist, hoisting her over his shoulder.

"Put me down, Adam! I'm not done giving these bitches a piece of my mind!" Sylvia yelled, kicking and flailing.

"I think they've heard enough, sweetheart. Let's not traumatize the entire Heavenly Host with the details of our sex life, yeah?" Adam asked, chuckling nervously.

He turns to the shell-shocked angels, giving them a sheepish grin.

"Hey ladies. Uh, sorry for my wife's...enthusiasm. You know how it is, behind every great man is a woman ready to castrate anyone who looks at him funny." Adam said, trying to lighten the mood (and failing).

With that, he carries a still-ranting Sylvia out of the break room, leaving the angels to stare after them in stunned silence.

"I think I need a drink." an angel said weakly.

"Make it a double." the other angel said.

They shakily make their way out, both vowing to never speak ill of Commander Adam again, lest they incur the wrath of his terrifyingly protective wife.

FADE OUT.

Chapter Text

INT. ADAM'S PENTHOUSE - DAY

Adam groans as he rolls over in bed, squinting against the sunlight streaming through the windows. He fumbles for his phone on the nightstand, knocking over empty beer cans and a half-eaten slice of pizza.

The phone screen lights up, revealing 27 missed calls and 15 voicemails, all from Sylvia. Adam's eyes widen.

"Shit, not again..." he muttered.

He tosses the phone aside and staggers out of bed, scratching his belly. He needs some fresh air and a break from Sylvia's incessant adoration.

EXT. HEAVENLY PARK - DAY

Adam strolls through the park, hands in his pockets, enjoying the peace and quiet. Suddenly, a shrill squeal pierces the air.

"ADAAAAM~! MY LOVE!" a voice cheered off-screen.

Adam whips around to see Sylvia flying towards him at breakneck speed, her blue and white dress fluttering in the wind and a manic grin on her face.

"Oh, fuck no!" Adam exclaimed, panicked. He takes off, his wings carrying him away as fast as they can. Sylvia, undeterred, gives chase.

Sylvia laughed gleefully, "Ooh, playing hard to get, are we? I love this game!" she said.

They weave through the clouds, Adam desperately trying to shake her off his tail. He looks back to see if he's lost her...

WHAM!

...and flies straight into a giant golden pillar. He crumples to the ground, out cold.

INT. SYLVIA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

When Adam came to, he found himself in a room that was definitely not his own. The walls were a pristine angelic white, accented with soft shades of blue. Fluffy cloud pillows adorned the bed he was lying on, and the air smelled faintly of vanilla and something more sinister.

"What the fuck...?" Adam murmured groggily.

"Well, well, well. Look who's finally awake~" 

Adam turns his head to see Sylvia leaning against the doorframe, wearing a skimpy nurse outfit that leaves very little to the imagination. She saunters over to the bed, crawling on top of him.

"You took quite a tumble out there, my love. But don't worry, I'll nurse you back to health~" Sylvia purred. She runs a finger down his chest, biting her lip seductively. Adam's eyes widen as he realizes the situation he's in.

"Uh, Sylvia, babe, listen..." Adam said.

"But first, I think I deserve a reward for winning our little game of love tag, don't you?" she asked, pouting.

She grinds against him, eliciting a strangled groan from Adam. He weakly tries to push her away.

"C'mon, Sylvie, I don't think..." he said

Sylvia cut him off with a finger to his lips.

"Shh, don't think. Just let Nurse Sylvia take care of you~" she said. She reaches behind her back and unties her top, letting it fall away. Adam's protests die in his throat as he stares, slack-jawed.

"That's what I thought." Sylvia said, smirking.

She descends upon him, peppering his face and neck with kisses. Adam, resigned to his fate, lets his hands roam over her curves.

Adam sighed, "Ah, fuck it. Do your worst, you crazy broad."

Sylvia giggles gleefully and proceeds to do just that, as the scene fades to black.

FADE OUT.

Chapter Text

Adam looked up from his book as he heard the front door open, followed by the sound of Sylvia's voice muttering in rapid-fire Italian. He frowned, noting the anxious edge to her tone that was unusual even for his high-strung wife.

Setting his book aside, Adam made his way to their bedroom, where he found Sylvia pacing back and forth, her hands twisting together nervously. She was still muttering to herself, her brow furrowed with worry.

"Hey, sugar tits," Adam said softly, causing Sylvia to jump and spin around to face him. "What's got you all worked up?"

Sylvia shook her head, her eyes wide and slightly wild. "I don't know, Adamie. I just... I feel all wrong inside. My stomach's in knots, and I can't seem to calm down."

Adam's frown deepened as he took in Sylvia's agitated state. He'd never seen her quite like this before - anxious, yes, but this was something more. She looked almost... frightened.

"Come here, baby," he said, opening his arms in invitation. Sylvia hesitated for a moment before rushing into his embrace, burying her face against his chest.

Adam held her close, one hand rubbing soothing circles on her back while the other stroked her hair. He could feel Sylvia trembling against him, her breaths coming in short, sharp gasps.
"Shh, it's okay, Sylvie," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I've got you. Just breathe with me, okay? In and out, nice and slow."

Sylvia nodded, trying to match her breathing to Adam's steady rhythm. Gradually, her trembling subsided, and her death grip on his shirt loosened.

"There you go, baby," Adam praised, continuing to hold her close. "That's my girl."

They stood like that for a long moment, Adam gently rocking Sylvia in his arms as she clung to him like a lifeline. Eventually, Sylvia lifted her head, her blue eyes searching Adam's face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice small and uncertain. "I don't know what came over me. I just... I couldn't shake this feeling of dread, like something terrible was about to happen."

Adam cupped Sylvia's face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had begun to fall. "Don't apologize, sugar. We all get scared sometimes. The important thing is that you're safe, and I'm here with you."

Sylvia managed a wobbly smile, leaning into Adam's touch. "Thank you, Adam. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Adam grinned, pressing a soft kiss to Sylvia's lips. "Probably go even more batshit crazy than you already are."

Sylvia laughed, the sound a little watery but genuine. "Probably," she agreed, snuggling closer to Adam's chest.

Adam led them to the bed, settling back against the headboard and pulling Sylvia into his lap. She curled up against him, her head resting on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms securely around her.
"How about we just stay here for a bit, huh?" Adam suggested, his fingers trailing lazily up and down Sylvia's arm. "We can put on one of those crappy reality shows you love so much and cuddle until you feel better."

Sylvia nodded, a contented sigh escaping her lips. "That sounds perfect, my love."

As Adam reached for the remote, Sylvia pressed a kiss to his jaw, her eyes soft with adoration. "Thank you for being my rock, Adam. I know I'm not always easy to deal with, but you never fail to make me feel safe and loved."

Adam smiled, tightening his hold on Sylvia. "That's because you are loved, baby. More than anything in this fucked up universe. And I'll always be here to remind you of that, no matter how crazy shit gets."

Sylvia smiled, letting her eyes drift closed as she relaxed into Adam's embrace. With her husband by her side, she knew she could face anything - even the darkest corners of her own mind.
Because with Adam, she was home. And that was all that mattered.

Chapter Text

Interior - Adam and Sylvia's living room. Evening.

Adam paces back and forth, gesticulating wildly as he rants. Sylvia is curled up on the couch, her blue eyes glazed over and a dreamy smile on her face.

"...and another thing! Those fuckin' demons down there, they think they're so goddamn special. But they're not! They're just a bunch of pathetic, whiny little shits who couldn't handle the heat!" he ranted.

He paused, waiting for Sylvia's usual enthusiastic agreement. But she's silent, staring at him with a vacant expression.

"Babe? Are you even listening to me?" Adam asked.

Sylvia blinks slowly, her gaze trailing up and down Adam's body. In her mind's eye, everything moves in slow motion. The way his muscles ripple under his tight shirt as he gestures. The way his strong, stubbled jaw clenches with each impassioned word. The way his piercing hazel eyes flash with intensity.

'Oh my dad, he's so fucking hot when he's angry. Look at those beefy arms. I just want to sink my teeth into them. And that tight little ass...' she internally monologued. She licks her lips unconsciously, her thighs clenching.

Adam snapped his fingers in front of her face. "Hello? Earth to Sylvia!"

Sylvia startled, shaking herself out of her lust-filled daze.

"What? Oh, yes, of course honey! Those demons are just the worst. So pathetic. Not like you, my big, strong, handsome Addy-kins..." She practically purrs the last part, eyeing him like a piece of meat.

Adam preens a bit at the compliment, puffing out his chest. "Damn right. I'm the fuckin' man." he exclaimed.

Sylvia rose from the couch, sauntering over to him with an exaggerated sway of her hips. She drapes her arms around his neck, pressing her ample chest against him.

"You know what really gets me hot? Watching you put those sinners in their place. You're so commanding, so powerful... it makes me want to just..." Sylvia breathily cooed.

She nips at his ear, grinding against him suggestively.

Adam's rant is quickly forgotten as he grabs Sylvia's ass, pulling her closer with a growl.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you show me how hot it makes you, baby?" he asked.

Sylvia giggled maniacally, jumping up to wrap her legs around his waist. Adam stumbles back onto the couch, Sylvia straddling him.

"Oh Daddy, you read my mind!" she moaned.

She attacks his mouth with sloppy, enthusiastic kisses as Adam gropes her everywhere he can reach. Their moans and grunts fill the room.

Pan out to reveal Lute standing awkwardly in the doorway, her face a mask of disgust.

Lute sighed heavily, "I'll come back later."

She turned on her heel and leaves, closing the door firmly behind her to muffle the sounds of Sylvia and Adam's vigorous lovemaking.

Chapter Text

Scene: Adam and Sylvia's living room.

Sylvia was scrolling through nursery designs on CelestiPin, cooing when Adam barged in, waving two movie tickets excitedly.

"Babe, babe, babe!" he happily chanted.

"I WASN'T LOOKING AT NURSERIES!" Sylvia yelled, slamming her laptop shut. "I mean, yes, dear?"

"You've gotta come see this new movie with me. It's supposed to be the most testosterone-fueled, action-packed flick of the year!" he explained.

"I don't know, Adam. You know those macho movies aren't really my thing..." Sylvia said skeptically.

"C'mon, sugar tits. It'll be fun! Explosions, car chases, buff dudes beating the shit out of each other... what's not to love?" Adam said, wrapping an arm around her.

Sylvia sighed, "Well, I guess if it means that much to you..." she caved.

Adam pumped his fist in trimph, "Yes! Trust me, babe, you won't regret it." he said.

Cut to the movie theater. Adam and Sylvia are seated, surrounded by other couples. The movie begins, and immediately, the screen is filled with muscular men engaging in various feats of strength and violence.

"Aw yeah, here we go! Did you see that punch, Sylvie?" Adam asked his disinterested wife.

Adam looks around, noticing that the other men in the theater seem to be enjoying themselves too. But as the movie progresses, their enthusiasm starts to wane.

"Is it just me, or is this plot kind of... non-existent?" One guy yawned.

"I thought there'd be more explosions, honestly." another guy said, shrugging.

Meanwhile, Sylvia and the other women are starting to perk up, their eyes glued to the screen.

"Ooh, Adamie, look at those two! The sexual tension is palpable!" she whispered excitedly.

"Sexual tension? They're literally trying to kill each other, babe." Adam said, confused.

Sylvia waved her hand dismissively, "Details, details. I'm just saying, I wouldn't mind seeing them... wrestle, if you know what I mean."

Adam's eyes widen as he notices the other women in the theater nodding and giggling in agreement.

He stood up abruptly, "Okay, I think it's time for us to go." Adam said.

"But Adam, it was just getting good!" Sylvia whined, pouting.

But Adam dragged her out of the theater, "Nope, nuh-uh, not happening. I'm not losing my wife to some roided-out action star." he said as Sylvia folded her arms.

Cut to Adam and Sylvia back at home, cuddling on the couch as a romantic comedy plays on the TV.

"This is nice, Adam. I'm sorry I got a little... carried away at the movie." she apologized, snuggling into Adam's side.

Adam kissed the top of her head, "It's okay, sugar tits. I guess I should've known better than to take you to a movie full of half-naked, muscular dudes." he said.

"What can I say? I appreciate the male form, in all its variations." Sylvia admitted, giggling.

Adam groaned, "Just promise me you won't start writing fanfiction about those guys, okay?" he said.

"Fanfiction? Me? Never..." Sylvia asked, averting her eyes.

Cut to later that night, Sylvia typing furiously on her laptop, a manic grin on her face.

"And then, Commander Beefcake ripped off Sergeant Studly's tight, sweat-soaked shirt, revealing his glistening, chiseled abs..." Sylvia frantically muttered.

"Sylvie? You coming to bed?" Adam yelled from their bedroom. She quickly shut her laptop again.

"Be right there, Adamie! Just, uh... checking my email!" Sylvia lied.

Sylvia scurries off to the bedroom, leaving her laptop open on the couch. The screen displays a Word document titled "Commander Beefcake and Sergeant Studly's Forbidden Love: A Steamy Saga of Passion and Punches".

Chapter Text

The scene opens at a packed concert venue in Heaven. On stage, Adam and his band are rocking out to a screaming crowd. Sylvia is in the front row, cheering louder than anyone.

"Woohoo! That's my man up there!" she screamed.

As the band finishes their set, an announcer comes on stage.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it's the moment you've all been waiting for! If you've got a backstage pass, now's your chance to meet the band!" they said.

A group of scantily-clad angel groupies squeal with excitement, waving their passes. Sylvia narrowed her eyes at them.

"Those harlots better keep their hands off my Adam." she muttered.

Backstage, Adam is toweling off after the show when the groupies burst in, surrounding him.

"Adam, you were amazing out there!" one groupie said, batting her eyelashes.

Another one ran a hand down his arm, "I've always wanted to meet you in person." she said.

"Ladies, ladies, there's plenty of Adam to go around." Adam said, grinning egoistically.

Just then, a stagehand pokes his head in.

"Adam, there's an issue with the pyrotechnics for the next show. We need you to come check it out." he said.

Adam groaned, "Duty calls. Ladies, I'll be right back. Make yourselves comfortable." he said before exiting.

The groupies start giggling and primping. Suddenly, Sylvia appears in the doorway, a dangerous smile on her face.

"Hello, girls. Enjoying the show?" she greeted sweetly.

A third groupie sneered, "Who let you back here? This area is for real fans only." she complained.

"Oh, I'm a real fan alright. The biggest." Sylvia said, advancing into the room. She cracks her knuckles, her eyes glowing a brighter blue.

"Presto sarò il suo unico fan." she whispered.

The scene cuts to Adam returning a few minutes later.

"Alright, where were we-" he started but stops short, taking in the scene. The room is empty except for Sylvia, who is sitting primly on the couch, examining her nails.

"Sylvie? Where did everyone go?" he asked, looking around.

"Oh, they had to leave. Something about not feeling well." she replied, looking innocent.

Adam raised an eyebrow but shrugged, "Well, their loss is your gain, baby. Come here." he said, holding his arms out.

Sylvia squealed, jumping up and running into Adam's arms. He spun her around, kissing her deeply.

Sylvia sighed dreamily, "I love you, Adam." she cooed.

"I know, sugar tits. Now, how about we take this party somewhere more private?" he asked.

Sylvia giggled as Adam lead her out of the room, his hand possessively on her lower back.

Chapter Text

Scene: Exterior, Sylvia's and Adam's balcony under a full moon. Adam and Sylvia are standing close, Sylvia's head on Adam's shoulder.

Sylvia sighed contentedly, "Isn't it beautiful, honey bear? The moon, the stars... it's so romantic." she cooed.

"Not as beautiful as the view I've got right here." Adam said, smirking. He squeezes Sylvia's ass. She giggles, swatting at his chest.

"Oh, you! Always thinking with your..." Sylvia started.

"Dick? You know it, baby." Adam interrupted.

Sylvia rolls her eyes, but she's smiling, "You're incorrigible." she said.

"And you love it." he replied, grinning.

"I do. I love everything about you, Adam." Sylvia said softly.

Adam's grin softened. He pulled her closer, resting his chin on top of her head.

"Even when I'm being a crass asshole?" he asked quietly.

Sylvia nodded against his chest, "Especially then. It's part of your charm." she said truthfully.

"Most people would call it a flaw." Adam said, chuckling.

Sylvia looked up at him, "Not me. I love every part of you, flaws and all." she said, cupping his cheek. "You're perfect to me, Adam."

Adam looked down at her, his expression uncharacteristically tender.

"Fuck, Sylvia. You can't just say shit like that." he said.

"Why not? It's true." Sylvia said, 

Adam swallowed hard, "Because it makes me feel things. Things I'm not used to feeling." he confessed.

Sylvia traced her bronze hand on his jaw, "Like what?" she asked.

Adam struggled with finding his next words, "Like... like I don't deserve you." he finally said. "Like I'm the luckiest bastard in all of Heaven and Hell." he continued.

"Oh, Adam..." Sylvia exclaimed, her eyes shining. She surges up, capturing his lips in a deep, loving kiss. Adam kisses her back just as deeply, pouring all his unspoken emotions into it. They break apart, foreheads resting together.

"I love you, Sylvia. More than anything." Adam said roughly.

"I love you too, Adam. Forever and always." she replied, tearfully. 

They hold each other tight, the moonlight bathing them in a soft glow. After a moment, Adam spoke up.

"You know, as much as I'm enjoying this mushy stuff... I can think of another way to express our love." he said, he waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Sylvia laughs, the tender moment broken but the love still shining in her eyes.

"There's my crass man." she said, playfully.

Adam scooped Sylvia, "You know you love it, sugar." he said.

"I really, really do." Sylvia said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Adam carried her inside, Sylvia peppering his face with kisses and giggling as the balcony doors close behind them, the moon still shining bright in the sky.

Chapter Text

Sylvia was a blur of motion, zipping from room to room, cleaning, cooking, and organizing. Her hair is a mess and there are dark circles under her eyes.

"Must be the best wife. Must make everything perfect for my darling Adam." Sylvia muttered. She takes a huge gulp from a mug of coffee, her eye twitching.

Adam entered the room, yawning, "Morning, sugar tits. What's for breakfast?" he asked.

Sylvia spun around, a manic grin on her face, "Breakfast? I've made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next week! All your favorites!" she said frantically.

Adam blinked, "Uh, that's great, babe. But didn't you do that yesterday, too?" he asked.

The Italian waved a hand dismissively, "Yesterday was yesterday. Today is a new day to be the perfect wife!" she exclaimed excitedly. She starts to buzz around the kitchen again, but stumbles, catching herself on the counter.

"Sylvie, when was the last time you slept?" he asked concerned.

"Sleep?" Sylvia said, laughing hysterically like he just asked a huge joke. "Who needs sleep when there's wifely duties to attend to?" she asked.

She goes to take another sip of coffee, but the mug slips from her hand, shattering on the floor. Sylvia stares at it for a moment, then bursts into tears.

"I'm a failure as a wife! I can't even hold a mug properly!" she sobbed.

Adam rushed over, stepping over the shards. "Whoa, whoa, Sylvie. It's okay. It's just a mug." he said, trying to calm her down.

Sylvia immediately clung to him, "Just a mug? It's a symbol of my inadequacy! I don't deserve to be your wife!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. She wails, then suddenly goes limp in Adam's arms, having passed out from exhaustion.

"Oh, Sylvie." Adam sighed. He picks her up, carrying her to the bedroom. He tucks her into bed, brushing the hair from her face.

"Guess I'm on house husband duty today." he said to himself.

Cut to Adam in an apron, cleaning up the broken mug. He looks at the long list of chores Sylvia had written for herself, his eyes widening.

Adam whistled lowly, "Damn, sugar tits. You really went all out." he commented. He rolls up his sleeves, a determined look on his face.

"Alright, Adam. Time to show your woman what a good husband you can be." Adam said to himself.

Cue a montage of Adam tackling the chores, from laundry to dishes to dusting, all while Sylvia snores peacefully in the bedroom, blissfully unaware of her husband's efforts.

The scene opens in the bedroom. Sylvia yawns, stretching as she wakes up. She looks at the clock, her eyes widening.

"2 PM? I slept the whole day away! My chores!" she gasped.

She leaps out of bed, rushing into the living room. She skids to a stop, her jaw dropping.

The penthouse is spotless. Every surface gleams, the air smells of lemon and pine. There's not a speck of dust or a single item out of place.

"What... how..." Sylvia exclaimed in confusion.

Adam came up behind her, "Well, look who's finally awake." he said.

Sylvia spun around, "Adam! Did you... did you do all this?" she asked.

Adam shrugged modestly, "I might have tidied up a bit while you were catching some z's." she said.

Sylvia threw her arms around him, "Oh, baby! You're the best husband ever!" she cheered.

Adam chuckled, "I learned from the best wife ever." he complimented. He leads her to the couch, sitting her down. He starts to massage her shoulders, Sylvia melting under his touch.

Sylvia let out a soft moan, "Oh, that feels amazing. But you shouldn't have let me sleep so long! There was so much to do!" she said, humming as her husband massaged her.

"Sylvie, baby, you needed the rest. You can't be the perfect wife if you're running on fumes." Adam pointed out, kneading a particularly tense spot.

Sylvia pouted childishly, "But I like being the perfect wife. It's my favorite thing!"

"And you are, sugar tits. But even perfection needs a break sometimes." Adam said, kissing the top of her head.

Sylvia leans back into him, a content smile on her face. Then, she sits up, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"You know... there's one wifely duty I'm always up for, no matter how tired I am." Sylvia said, turning to face him.

Adam rose an eyebrow, smirking, "Oh yeah? And what's that?" he asked.

Sylvia straddles him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Pleasing my husband." she whispered in his ears.

Adam growls, his hands gripping her hips. He stands up, Sylvia wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Well, far be it from me to deny my wife her duties." He said, carrying her towards the bedroom.

Sylvia giggles as Adam kicks the bedroom door shut behind them, the scene fading out.

THE END.

Chapter Text

Scene: Adam's opulent office in Heaven.

He's sitting behind his massive desk, frowning at a stack of paperwork.

Suddenly, the intercom on his desk buzzes.

"Sir, your wife is here to see you. She says you called for her?" his receptionist asked over the intercom.

"Yeah, send her in. And hold my calls for the next hour, will ya?" Adam asked.

"Of course, sir. Enjoy your... meeting." the receptionist said, knowingly.

The door bursts open and Sylvia bounds in, a beaming smile on her face. 

"Adam, darling! You rang?" Sylvia asked, bouncing on her toes.

Adam leaned back in his chair, "I did indeed, my little slice of heaven. I'm in need of your... special assistance." he said smirking.

Sylvia clapped her hands, "Ooh, how exciting! You know I'm always happy to help my brilliant, powerful husband in any way I can. What do you need, my love?" she asked.

"Well, you see, I've got this problem. This big, hard problem that just won't seem to go away, no matter how much I try to handle it myself." Adam explaining, smirking. He stands up, walking around the desk to stand in front of Sylvia. Her eyes widen as she takes in the massive bulge straining against his pants.

"Oh my. That does look like quite the dilemma, darling. But never fear - your devoted wife is here to take care of it for you." Sylvia said determined, licking her lips.

Adam pulled her close, "I was counting on that, baby. You always know just how to... relieve my tension." he said, smile growing larger. Sylvia giggles, sinking to her knees and nuzzling his crotch. She looks up at him through her lashes, her blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Then allow me to offer my services, oh great and powerful Dickmaster. Your humble cockslut is here to worship and serve." she purred. She unzips his pants, freeing his already hard cock. It springs out, slapping against her cheek, leaving a smear of pre-cum on her skin.

"Fuck, Sylvie. You're such a good little wife, always so eager to please me." Adam groaned.

 "It's my honor and privilege, my love. Now, just sit back and let me take care of you..." Sylvia said breathlessly, stroking his shaft already. She takes him into her mouth, inch by throbbing inch, until he hits the back of her throat. Adam's head falls back, his eyes rolling in bliss as she begins to bob her head, sucking and slurping noisily.

Adam panted, "Shit, baby, your mouth is fucking magic. Knew I could count on you to handle my business." Sylvia hums around him, sending delicious vibrations up his shaft. She looks up at him adoringly, her eyes reflecting her utter devotion and submission to his pleasure.

"That's it, choke on my cock like a good girl. Gonna fuck this pretty face til you're drooling all over my balls." Adam said, fisting a hand in her hair.

Sylvia moans, opening her throat and letting Adam take control. He starts thrusting into her mouth, grunting and growling with each snap of his hips.

"Fuck, I'm close. Gonna paint the inside of your throat with my cum, mark you as my perfect little cocksleeve." Adam snarled.

Sylvia doubles her efforts, hollowing her cheeks and tonguing his slit. With a roar, Adam comes, pouring his hot seed directly down her gullet. Sylvia swallows it all, milking him dry with her talented mouth.

Finally, he pulls out, collapsing back into his chair with a satisfied sigh. Sylvia sits back on her heels, licking her lips and grinning up at him.

"So, did I take care of your problem, my darling husband?" she asked coyly.

Adam chuckled breathlessly, "Fuck yeah, you did. Knew I could count on my angel to have my back... and my front." he complimented. Sylvia giggles, climbing into his lap and kissing him deeply. He can taste himself on her tongue, the flavor only stirring his desire anew.

"Anything for you, my love. I live to serve and please you, in every way possible." Sylvia murmured against his lips.

"Mmm, and you do it so fucking well, baby. Hey, what do you say we move this party to the couch for round two?" Adam asked, squeezing her ass.

Sylvia grinned wickedly, "I thought you'd never ask, my insatiable stallion." she cooed.

The scene fades out on the amorous couple, lost in each other's arms and ready to continue their depraved liaison, the paperwork on Adam's desk long forgotten in the face of far more pressing matters.

Chapter Text

Sylvia was in the bedroom, haphazardly throwing clothes into a suitcase. Tears are streaming down her face as she angrily mutters to herself.

"I can't believe he said that to me! After everything I've done for him!" she said, bitterly. She picks up a framed picture of her and Adam, staring at it mournfully.

"How could someone as amazing and powerful as you ever truly love someone as disgusting and ungrateful as me? I was foolish to think this could work!" she said to the picture. She throws the picture into the suitcase and starts pacing the room, gesticulating wildly.

"I should have known better! A divine being like Adam, settling for a lowly angel like me? Ha! It was only a matter of time before he realized his mistake!" Sylvia said loudly. She grabs a handful of her underwear and starts stuffing it into the suitcase.

"Well, I won't stay where I'm not wanted! I'll go to my father's house. At least there, I know I'm loved! Even if it's not the same as-" she

"Sylvie, what the hell are you doing?" Adam asked. Sylvia whirls around, eyes wide. Adam is leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, an amused expression on his face.

"Adam! I... I was just..." she started, flustered.

"Packing your things and loudly monologuing about how I could never truly love you?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sylvia quickly deflated, "You heard all that, huh?" she asked.

"Babe, I think the whole neighborhood heard that." Adam said He walks into the room, taking Sylvia's hands in his.

"Sylvie, come on. You know I didn't mean what I said earlier. I was just angry." he said, gently.

"But... but you said..." Sylvia stammered, sniffling.

"I know what I said. And it was stupid. I'm sorry." Adam interrupted, cupping her face, wiping her tears with his thumbs.

I love you, Sylvia. More than anything in this universe or the next. You're not disgusting, and you're certainly not ungrateful. You're my everything." Adam said sincerely.

"Really?" Sylvia asked tearfully.

"Really. I couldn't imagine my life without you, blueberry." Adam said. Sylvia throws her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.

"I love you too, Adam. I'm sorry for being so dramatic." she said, muffled.

Adam hugged her back, "Hey, I knew what I was signing up for when I married you. Your batshit crazy dramatics are one of the things I love about you." he said.

Sylvia laughs, pulling back to look at him, "I guess I can be a bit... theatrical at times." she said, wiping her eyes.

"A bit? Babe, you could give Shakespeare a run for his money." Adam said.

They both laugh, the tension from their fight melting away.

"Now, how about we unpack this suitcase and I show you just how much I love and appreciate you?" Adam asked, kissing her forehead.

"I think I could be persuaded..." Sylvia said, smiling coyly.

Adam sweeps her up into his arms, Sylvia squealing in delight as he carries her to the bed. The suitcase lies forgotten on the floor, a testament to the strength of their love and the power of a good, old-fashioned dramatic monologue.

Chapter Text

Interior of Adam and Sylvia's heavenly mansion.

Sylvia is in the kitchen, wearing a frilly apron that says "Angel in the streets, Demon in the sheets!" She's frantically darting around, checking multiple ovens and pots.

"Gotta make the best ribs, gotta make the best ribs! Can't let my Addy-waddy leave me for some skank who can cook better!" Sylvia muttered manically. She pulls out a tray of ribs from the oven, scrutinizing them intensely.

"Hmmm, are they tender enough? Saucy enough? Maybe I should add more of my secret ingredient..." she rambled. She reaches into the cupboard and pulls out a vial labeled "Sylvia's Special Sauce - Made With Real Love (and Obsession)!" She liberally douses the ribs with it.

Adam comes in, sniffing the air.

"Damn, something smells fucking delicious! Whatcha cooking, baby?" he asked.

Sylvia spins around, holding the tray of ribs and grinning widely.

"Only your favorite, snookums! Fall-off-the-bone ribs, just how you like 'em! I slaved all day to make them perfect for my perfect man!" she said.

Adam reaches for one, but Sylvia slaps his hand away.

"Ah ah ah, not yet, mister! Go wash up first. I've got everything all set up for a romantic dinner, just the two of us!" she said, wagging her finger.

Adam shrugs and heads to the bathroom. Sylvia begins frantically setting the table, lighting candles, and scattering rose petals. She dims the lights and puts on some sexy music.

Adam returns and takes in the scene, nodding approvingly.

"Niiiiice. I like what you've done with the place. Very fuckable atmosphere." Adam said, approvingly.

Sylvia giggles and guides him to his seat, giving an exaggerated curtsy.

"Only the best for you, my king! Now, let me serve you a heaping helping of my made-from-scratch, infused-with-my-undying-love ribs!" Sylvia announced, she places a massive plate in front of him. Adam picks up a rib and takes a huge bite, moaning with pleasure.

"Holy shit, babe, these are fucking incredible! Best ribs I've ever had!" Adam said, mouth full.

Sylvia claps her hands and bounces excitedly.

"Yay, I'm so glad you like them! I put my blood, sweat, tears, and other bodily fluids into them!" she exclaimed.

Adam pauses mid-chew, looking slightly disturbed. Sylvia quickly backtracks.

"I mean, uh, I just worked really hard on them and put a lot of love into them! Haha, anyway, eat up, there's plenty more where that came from!" she said.

She sits across from him, propping her chin in her hands and staring at him adoringly as he scarfs down the ribs.

'Yes, that's it, enjoy my cooking, my domestic prowess. I'll be the best little wifey ever, then you'll never leave me! We'll be together forever and ever and ever...' she thought.

Adam finishes the plate, belching loudly, "Damn, I'm stuffed! You outdid yourself, baby. I think you've ruined all other ribs for me." he complimented.

"That was the plan. I mean, that's so sweet of you to say! Here, let me bring you some wet naps to clean up with..." Sylvia said smugly. She leans in close as she wipes sauce off his face, inhaling deeply.

'Mmm, he smells like barbecue and pure masculinity. I want to bottle his scent and bathe in it daily.' she thought.

"Thanks, babe. Hey, wanna fool around? Those ribs got me all hot and bothered!" Adam said, oblivious to what his crazy wife was thinking.

Sylvia's blue eyes lit up, "Oh, I thought you'd never ask! Let me just slip into something more comfortable..." she said.

She runs off and returns seconds later wearing a red bikini. Adam's eyes bug out.

"Hachi machi! C'mere, you saucy little minx!" he exclaimed.

He chases her, both of them giggling lecherously as they run off to the bedroom.

[Fade to black.]

Chapter Text

[Interior of a heavenly soirée.]

Sylvia and Adam were mingling with other angel couples, Sylvia playing up her "perfect wife" persona.

"Oh, you know me! I'm just a simple housewife, devoted to making my darling Adam's afterlife as blissful as possible!" she said, giggling demurely.

"Wow, Sylvia, you're so lucky! Adam must be thrilled to have such a doting, submissive wife." an angel wife said enviously.

"I do my best to anticipate his every need and desire. A happy husband is a happy home, after all!" Sylvia said, batting her eyelashes.

"You're a lucky man, Adam. Having a sweet little thing like Sylvia waiting on you hand and foot? Paradise!" the angel husband joked, nudging Adam.

"Oh, yeah, it's...something, alright." he said, nervously chuckling.

[Flashback montage begins]

Sylvia clung to Adam's leg as he tries to leave for work, wailing.

"No, Addy, don't go! I can't bear to be apart from you for even a second!" she yelled.

Sylvia pounced on Adam as soon as he walks in the door, tearing his clothes off.

"Welcome home, sexy. Time for your daily dose of vitamin me!" she growled.

Sylvia watched Adam sleep, her face inches from his.

"My precious, perfect hubby...I'll never let anyone take you away from me..." she whispered creepily.

[Flashback montage ends]

Back in the present, Adam shakes his head, a wry smile on his face.

"You must share your secrets! How do you keep the spark alive and maintain such a picture-perfect marriage?" the angel wife asked.

"Oh, it's simple really! I just make sure to always put Adam's needs first, shower him with affection, and never let him out of my sight for too long!" Sylvia said, giggling.

"Or at all, if she had her way..." he muttered under his breath.

"Sounds like you've got it made, buddy! A beautiful, adoring wife who lives to serve you? That's the dream!" the angel husband exclaimed, clapping him on the back.

"Yep, it's...definitely something I never could have dreamed up on my own, that's for sure." Adam said, forcing a smile.

Sylvia sidled up to Adam, "Aww, Addy, you're so sweet! I'm the luckiest angel in all of Heaven to have you as my eternally captive...I mean, devoted husband!" she cooed. She plants a big, showy kiss on his cheek, marking him with her lipstick. Adam just chuckles, shaking his head.

'If only they knew the truth...but hey, who am I to burst their bubble? Plus, it's kind of nice having my ego stroked in public for once, instead of just in private...among other things.' Adam thought.

The scene ends with Sylvia continuing to regale the other angels with tales of her idyllic domestic bliss, while Adam just nods along, an amused glint in his eye as he marvels at the discrepancy between her public persona and private antics. Just another day in the delightfully dysfunctional love story of Adam and Sylvia.

Chapter Text

[Interior of Adam and Sylvia's living room.]

Sylvia sits on the couch, staring blankly at the floor. Her usual spark is gone, replaced by a heavy somberness. Adam walks in, immediately sensing something’s off.

"Hey, Sylvie. What's going on? You look like someone told you Christmas got canceled," he says, trying to lighten the mood.

"Adam, we need to talk." she said quietly.

Adam sat next to her, "Okay, sounds serious. What's on your mind?" he asked.

Sylvia took a deep breath, "I think...I think we should get a divorce." she said.

"WHAT?! Sylvia, where's this coming from?" Adam asked, stunned.

[Flashback montage begins]

Lilith stares coldly at Adam before running and jumping off the ledge of Heaven after Lucifer.

Eve, in tears, looks at Adam, looking as if she doesn't want to leave but pulls through it and runs from him.

[Flashback montage ends]

In the present, Adam's chest tightens, panic gripping him. 

'Not again. I can't lose another one. Especially not Sylvia!' he thought. He thought everything was fine. Yeah, neither of them were perfect, but he thought they loved each other regardless.

He reaches for her hands, squeezing them tightly, his voice desperate. "Sylvie, baby, whatever it is, we can work through it. Please, don't leave me. I love you so much!" he said, desperately.

"That's just it, Adam. You love me...but I don't deserve your love. I'm not good enough for you." Sylvia replied, tears welling up in her eyes.

"What are you talking about? Of course you are! You're my perfect match, my soulmate!" Adam asked, sounding uncharacteristically gentle.

Sylvia looks away, her voice breaking. "But I’m not perfect. I’m clingy and obsessive, and your groupies—" she pauses, wiping away a tear. "They said I’m not fit to be your wife. That you deserve better than a crazy, inferior angel like me."

Adam’s eyes darken with anger. "My groupies said what? Oh, hell no. They don't get to talk about you like that." He cups her face, his gaze intense and sincere. "Sylvia, you are everything to me. You’re not inferior, and you’re definitely not undeserving. You’re my ride or die—my everything."

"Really? You mean that?" she asked

Adam smiled softly, "With all my heart. Those groupies are just jealous because they know they could never hold a candle to you." he said, pressing his long finger against her nose, making her smile. "You're the only one for me, Sylvie. Forever and always."

"Oh, Addy...I love you so much! I'm sorry I even considered leaving you. It was a moment of weakness." Sylvia cooed, her heart melting at his words.

"It's okay, baby. We all have those. Just promise me you'll never doubt my love for you again." Adam said, holding her close.

Sylvia snuggled into him, "I promise. You're stuck with me for eternity, mister." she said teasingly.

As they embrace, Sylvia's eyes suddenly take on a mischievous glint.

'But those groupies...oh, they're gonna pay for making me doubt myself. Nobody messes with Sylvia and her man and gets away with it!' she thought.

She starts mentally plotting her revenge, a wicked smile playing on her lips even as she enjoys her husband's comforting arms around her.

A wicked smile creeps onto her face, even as she enjoys the comfort of Adam’s arms around her. Adam leans back, relaxing as they cuddle on the couch, their bond stronger than ever. Meanwhile, Sylvia's mind races, plotting her revenge against anyone who dares threaten the perfect love she shares with Adam.

Chapter Text

[Interior of Adam and Sylvia's living room.]

Adam enters, looking grumpy. He spots a heart-shaped box of chocolates on the coffee table with a note attached.

"What's this? Another gift from one of Sylvia's fanboys?" he muttered. He snatches up the note, reading it aloud.

"'To the most beautiful angel in all of Heaven, my eternal love and devotion. XOXO, Your Secret Admirer.'" he read mockingly. He crumples the note, tossing it aside.

"The nerve of these guys, hitting on my wife! Don't they know she's mine and mine alone?" he asked.

In a fit of jealous rage, he rips open the box of chocolates and starts stuffing them into his mouth.

"Mmm, at least the bastard has good taste in candy. These are delicious!" Adam said, through a mouthful of chocolate.

He continues to eat, unaware that the chocolates are laced with a powerful love potion. As he finishes the last one, a strange sensation washes over him.

"Whoa...what's happening? I feel all warm and tingly inside..." he said, swaying slightly.

Just then, Sylvia enters the room, her eyes widening at the sight of the empty chocolate box.

Sylvia gasped, "Addy, did you eat those chocolates? The ones on the table?" she asked.

Adam turns to face her, his eyes glazed over with a mix of love and lust. In general, his golden eyes had a tint of pink to them.

"Sylvia...my forever, my everything. Have I ever told you how absolutely stunning you are?" Adam complimented.

"I...what? Adam, are you feeling okay?" Sylvia said, flustered.

Adam strides over to her, pulling her into his arms and nuzzling her neck. "I'm more than okay, baby. I'm fantastic, now that you're here." he murmured, sniffing her neck. "God, you smell so good. Like sunshine and sex appeal."

Sylvia blushed at his uncharacteristic fluffy words, "Adam! What's gotten into you?" she asked.

Adam peppered her face with kisses, "Nothing yet, but I'm hoping you will soon. I need you, Sylvie. I need to worship every inch of your perfect body." he said.

"Oh my...this is unexpected. Not that I'm complaining, but..." Sylvia muttered weakly.

Adam scoops her up bridal style, carrying her towards the bedroom.

"No more talking. I'm going to show you just how much I adore you, my goddess. Prepare to be loved like never before!" he growled.

Sylvia giggled, "Well, when you put it that way...lead on, my insatiable king!" she said.

As Adam kicks the bedroom door shut behind them, Sylvia catches a glimpse of the empty chocolate box and the crumpled note. Realization dawns on her.

'Oh my gosh, those chocolates...they were meant for me! From that 'winner' who's been crushing on me! They must have had a love spell in them!'

Her thoughts are interrupted by Adam's passionate kisses and roaming hands.

'Oh well, waste not, want not! If a magical mistake leads to my husband ravishing me with wild abandon, who am I to complain?' Sylvia thought, internally shrugging.

The room fills with the sounds of passion as Adam's love potion-induced fervor takes over. He slams Sylvia against the wall, his strong arms holding her in place as he kisses her neck hungrily. The soft fabric of her shirt gives way to his desperate grip, revealing her ample cleavage. Her eyes sparkle with a mix of surprise and excitement.

Her GG cup breasts, tipped with dark, erect nipples, push against the confines of her lacy white bra. Adam's eyes widen at the sight, his breath hot against her skin as he works on unhooking the clasp. The bra falls away, leaving her breasts bare for his eager gaze.

With a grin that's both playful and predatory, he cups one in his hand, feeling its weight and warmth. Sylvia gasps as his thumb brushes over the sensitive peak, sending a shiver down her spine. She arches into his touch, her back bowing off the wall. The skirt slips down her legs, revealing the matching thong that leaves nothing to the imagination. Adam's own arousal is evident in his tightened grip and the bulge in his pants.

He moves his attention to her other breast, kneading it gently before taking the nipple into his mouth, sucking and nibbling with a finesse that belies his usual gruff demeanor. Sylvia's breath hitches, and she grabs onto his shoulders for balance. Her legs wobble slightly, and she can feel the heat building between her thighs.

Adam seems to sense her need and, without missing a beat, drops to his knees. With a feral growl, he tears off her thong, the sound of the fabric ripping echoing in the room. He doesn't waste any time, diving face-first into her wet folds like a man who's been wandering the desert for days and has finally found an oasis. His tongue laps at her, exploring her clit with an enthusiasm that leaves her gasping for air.

"Oh, Addy," she moans, her hands tangling in his hair. "Lick me harder, please. I need it." Her voice is a desperate plea, and he's more than happy to oblige. His chubby belly presses against her thighs as he buries his face in her crotch, his tongue swirling and flicking with an intensity that has her toes curling in her high heels.

The sensation of his stubble against her smooth skin sends sparks flying, and she can feel her climax approaching like a freight train. "Yes," she whispers, her eyes rolling back in her head. "Just like that." He sucks harder, his cheeks hollowing as he devours her like a man starved for affection.

Her legs quiver, and she braces herself against the wall, her knuckles turning white. "Oh, fuck," she gasps as the first wave hits her, her hips bucking involuntarily. The room seems to spin around her, and she clutches at Adam's shoulders as she rides the pleasure that's threatening to consume her. He doesn't stop, his tongue relentless as it flicks and teases her swollen bud.

With a guttural growl, Adam's hands move to her hips, his strong grip keeping her in place as his mouth works her into a frenzy. He's everywhere at once, licking and sucking, his nose nuzzling against her sensitive flesh. Sylvia's eyes widen, and she can feel the tension coiling tighter and tighter inside her.

The pressure builds until she can't take it anymore. With a scream that's part pleasure and part relief, she squirts all over Adam's face. He doesn't flinch, instead lapping up the sweet liquid with a greedy moan. The sight of his cheeks glistening with her arousal sends another tremor through her body, and she comes again, this time even harder.

He stands up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, a smug smile playing across his lips. Sylvia can see the love potion's effect in his eyes, the way they're glazed over with pure lust. She giggles, feeling a bit lightheaded from the intensity of her orgasm. "Adam, you're insatiable," she says, her voice breathless.

He grabs her again, hoisting her onto the bed. His own pants are tented with his need, and Sylvia can't help but stare. "And you're mine," he says, his voice a low rumble.

Adam starts to strip, his clothes flying in every direction as if propelled by the sheer force of his desire. His belly jiggles slightly as he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing a chest that's both soft and furry. Sylvia giggles, finding his enthusiasm utterly endearing.

Once fully naked, he flips her over onto her stomach, her legs hanging over the edge of the bed. He runs his hand down her spine, sending a shiver through her body. "Mine," he says, his voice a deep rumble that makes her toes curl.

Without warning, he grabs her by the hips and pulls her towards him, positioning himself behind her. She can feel the tip of his cock, thick and insistent, pressing against her wetness. "You like that, don't you, my dirty little angel slut?" he growls, his breath hot on her neck. Sylvia bites her lip, nodding frantically.

The crassness of his words sends a jolt of excitement through her, mixing with the painful pleasure of his spanking. "Oh, yes, Addy," she moans, pushing back against him. "Call me whatever you want, just don't stop."

With a chuckle that's dark and possessive, he enters her in one swift movement, filling her completely. She gasps, the suddenness of it taking her by surprise. "You're so tight, Sylvie," he says, his voice strained. "So fucking perfect."

He starts to pound into her, his hand coming down in quick, stinging slaps on her round, firm ass. She feels every inch of him, and it's heavenly. Each spank sends a shockwave through her body, making her walls clench around him. The room is filled with the sounds of their flesh slapping together and his deep, satisfied grunts.

Sylvia's eyes roll back in her head, and she can feel another orgasm building. She's so wet that she's practically gushing around him, and with each thrust, he hits that perfect spot inside her that has her seeing stars.

"You're mine," he says, his voice almost a snarl. "MINE." His grip on her hips tightens, his nails digging into her skin. She whimpers, loving the feel of his dominance. "Say it," he commands, his voice low and demanding.

"Y-yes, Addy," she stammers. "I'm all yours. Your dirty little angel slut." The words leave her mouth like a prayer, and it's all he needs to hear. He picks up the pace, his strokes becoming more erratic as he chases his own release.

Whispering sweet nothings that are anything but, he tells her how much he loves her. Though his voice is filled with darker desires, not his just normal sexytime voice, she hadn't heard this type of voice since the last extermination. "You're so perfect for me, Sylvia," he murmurs, his hot breath tickling her ear. "Such a good little whore."

Sylvia's body responds to the filthy words, her hips moving in time with his thrusts. It wasn't rare she heard him talk like this before, but she always found it incredibly hot. "Oh, Adam," she whines, her voice needy. "Say it again."

He does, his voice dropping to a low murmur that sends shivers down her spine. "You're my dirty, little whore, aren't you?" He spanks her again, harder this time, and she feels herself getting closer to the edge. "You love it when I treat you like this."

The words are like gasoline on a fire, and she's burning up from the inside out. "Yes," she cries out. "Yes, I love it. I love you." She feels him swell inside her, his grip on her hips tightening even more.

With one final, brutal spank, he cums deep within her, his seed filling her up.

Adam pulls out, leaving Sylvia's body trembling with the aftershocks of pleasure. He's still hard, his cock glistening with their combined juices. Without missing a beat, he walks her over to the dresser, his grip firm but loving. He bends her over the cold, hard wood, her breasts squishing against the mirror.

Sylvia watches their reflection, her dark bronze skin flushed and her eyes wild with passion. She sees the love potion-induced lust in Adam's eyes and feels a thrill of power knowing she's the one who can bring him to this point. She watches as he lines himself up with her dripping pussy and thrusts back in, making her squeal.

He grabs her hips, his long fingers digging into her flesh as he starts to pump into her from behind. She can feel every inch of him, stretching her and filling her completely. The dresser shakes with their frenzied movements, the sound of their slapping flesh echoing through the room.

"Look at yourself, Sylvia," he grunts. "Look how much you want it." She obeys, meeting his gaze in the mirror. Her hair is a wild mess, her lipstick smudged, and her makeup is running down her face, but she's never felt more beautiful.

Adam's reflection shows a man consumed by passion, his eyes dark and his teeth bared in a feral grin. His belly jiggles slightly with each thrust, but it only adds to his appeal. She loves him, all of him, especially like this.

Her eyes glaze over as he hits that perfect spot again, sending waves of pleasure through her body. She watches their reflection, their bodies moving in perfect harmony despite the chaos of their lovemaking.

"Adam!" she screams, her voice bouncing off the walls. "Harder! Fuck me harder!" He complies, his strokes becoming more powerful and punishing. She can feel the wood of the dresser digging into her stomach, but it only makes her want more.

He's so deep inside her that she can feel the head of his cock hit her cervix with every thrust, sending sparks of pleasure through her body. She throws her head back, her eyes closing as she surrenders to the feeling of being claimed by her husband.

Her pussy clamps down around him, her walls pulsing with the force of her climax. He groans, his movements becoming erratic as he chases his own release.

"I'm going to fill you up," he says, his voice strained. "You're going to feel me for days."

Sylvia nods, eager for it. She's never felt so alive, so wanted.

Adam slams into her from behind, the force of his thrusts pushing her against the dresser. She watches in the mirror as her body jolts with each impact, her breasts bouncing and her eyes fluttering shut. The pain is exquisite, mixing with the pleasure in a heady cocktail that has her screaming his name.

"Adam! Oh, fuck!" she cries out, her voice high and desperate. He's so deep inside her, it's like he's reaching her soul. She can feel every inch of him, the way he fills her up and makes her his.

Their eyes meet in the reflection, and she sees the love and possession in his gaze. He's lost to the potion's spell, but she doesn't care. Right now, she's lost to him, to the feel of his cock claiming her over and over again.

Her orgasm hits her like a tidal wave, crashing over her and leaving her trembling. She can't hold herself up anymore, her body going limp as he continues to fuck her through it. He's relentless, his love potion-fueled desire not letting up.

Finally, with a roar that shakes the room, he cums again, filling her to the brim. She feels it leak out of her, down her legs, and it's the most beautiful thing she's ever felt. "MINE," he growls, his hips stuttering to a stop.

They stay there for a moment, panting and trembling, their hearts racing in sync. Sylvia's eyes are still glued to the mirror, watching as Adam's cock slips out of her with a wet sound. She's a mess, but she's never felt more beautiful.

He pulls her up, turning her around to face him. His chubby body is slick with sweat, his cock still half-hard. He kisses her deeply, his tongue claiming her mouth as surely as his cock claimed her pussy.

Sylvia tastes herself on him, and it only makes her want more.

Adam's strong arms wrap around her, his love potion-enhanced strength making her feel delicate and cherished. They kiss deeply, their tongues dancing together as their bodies continue to move in a rhythm that's been set in stone. Each thrust is a declaration of his love and ownership, each kiss a promise of forever.

Her breasts are crushed against his chest, and she can feel his heart hammering in time with hers. The room is a blur around them, the only focus the connection they share. His cock slides in and out of her with an ease that speaks of countless nights of passion, but there's something more primal, more urgent about this coupling.

Sylvia's legs are wrapped around his waist, her heels digging into the soft flesh of his ass as she urges him on. She's never felt so alive, so wanted, so absolutely consumed by another person. His love for her is a wildfire, burning away all the doubt and fear she's ever known.

Their kisses grow sloppier, more desperate, as their passion reaches a fever pitch. Adam's hand finds its way to her clit, his thumb circling the sensitive nub with a precision that has her toes curling. She's so close, so goddamn close, and she knows he can feel it.

His strokes become faster, his grip on her tightening. She's riding the edge of pleasure, her body tense and trembling. He whispers sweet, filthy things in her ear, his breath hot and ragged. "You're going to come for me, aren't you, baby?"

Sylvia nods, unable to speak through the haze of lust. She feels the beginnings of another orgasm, her pussy clenching around him like a fist. "Yes, yes, yes," she moans, her voice muffled by their kisses.

And then she's falling, spiraling into a vortex of pleasure that steals her breath away. Her eyes roll back in her head, and she screams his name into his mouth as her body convulses with the force of her climax.

Adam's own orgasm follows closely behind, his cock pulsing inside her as he pours himself into her. The love potion has taken hold, and he can't get enough of her. He needs to be as close to her as possible, to claim her in every way he can.

They collapse onto the bed, a sweaty, tangled mess of limbs. Adam rolls onto his back, bringing Sylvia with him, still inside her. She lays her head on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.

The room is silent except for their heavy breathing and the occasional moan that escapes her lips as he continues to kiss her. They're in their own little world, a bubble of love and desire that nothing can penetrate.

[Interior of Adam and Sylvia's bedroom.]

Morning light streams through the windows. Adam stirs, his golden eyes, lacking the pink tint, fluttering open. He looks around, disoriented.

"What...where am I? What happened last night?" he asked, groggily.

He turns to see Sylvia beside him, a satisfied smirk on her face. She's wearing nothing but a sheet, her hair a wild, tangled mess.

"Good morning, my insatiable stallion. How are you feeling after our wild ride?" she purred.

"Wild ride? Sylvia, what are you talking about? The last thing I remember is...eating some chocolates?" he said, confused.

Sylvia giggled, "Oh, those weren't just any chocolates, my love. They were enchanted with a potent love potion, courtesy of one of my more....misguided admirers." she explained.

Adam quickly sat up, "WHAT?! A love potion?! So that's why I felt so-"

"Horny? Desperate for my body? Ready to fuck me six ways to Sunday?" Sylvia suggested, smirking at him.

Adam rubbed at his face, "Shit...I didn't do anything too crazy, did I?" he asked.

"Oh, you did plenty of crazy things, baby. Like the way you ripped off my clothes and buried your face between my thighs, licking me like I was the last drop of water in a desert..." she began describing.

"I did what?" he asked, his eyes widening.

"And then you flipped me over and pounded me from behind, spanking my ass and calling me your dirty little angel slut. It was so hot, Addy." she continued.

Adam groaned, "Oh God...I'm so sorry, Sylvie. I don't know what came over me." he apologized.

However, Sylvia straddled him, "Don't you dare apologize, mister. It was the best sex of my entire existence. The way you worshipped my body, the filthy things you whispered in my ear as you fucked me senseless...I've never felt so desired, so ravished." she cooed, caressing his face.

"Really? You...enjoyed it?" he asked weakly.

Sylvia began grinding against him, "Enjoyed it? Baby, I fucking loved it. You unleashed your inner beast and claimed me in ways I've only dreamed of. The highlight was definitely when you bent me over the dresser and took me while I watched in the mirror, screaming your name..." she said, her blue eyes glazing over with lust as she reminisced.

"Okay, okay, I get the picture!" Adam exclaimed, flustered.

"Mmm, just reliving it is getting me all hot and bothered again. What do you say we have a little encore performance, sans love potion this time?" Sylvia asked, already nipping at his neck.

Adam chuckled, "You're insatiable, you know that? But I guess I can't really blame you, if I was even half as good as you say I was." he said.

Sylvia pulled him into a deep kiss, "Oh, you were better, my love. Now, less talking, more ravishing. I want you to make me forget my own name again." she said.

"With pleasure, you wanton little minx." Adam growled.

The scene fades out on the couple's passionate moans and the creaking of the bed, Sylvia's vivid recollections of their magically-induced night of passion reigniting their desire for round two...and three...and four. The love potion may have worn off, but the flames of their carnal love burn hotter than ever.

Chapter Text

Adam groans as his phone buzzes insistently on the nightstand. He cracks one bleary eye open to check the caller ID, already knowing who it is.

Yep. Sylvia. Of course.

For a moment, he contemplates letting it go to voicemail. It's ass o'clock in the morning, for Dad's sake. Surely whatever craziness Sylvia's cooked up can wait until daylight.

But then he remembers the last time he ignored her calls. She'd shown up at his door in the middle of the night, mascara running and eyes wild, convinced he'd been abducted by succubi. It had taken hours to calm her down and convince her he wasn't being held hostage by a pack of sex demons.

Sighing, Adam reaches for the phone. He swipes to answer, already bracing himself.

"Sylvie, baby, it's 3 AM. This better be good," he grumbles, voice rough with sleep.

"Addy," Sylvia breathes, sounding relieved. "You're okay. I just... I needed to hear your voice."

Adam frowns, sitting up a bit. "Is everything alright? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Sylvia assures him quickly. "I just... I missed you. I couldn't sleep, couldn't stop thinking about you. I had to call, had to make sure you were safe."

Adam softens despite himself. Sylvia's clinginess can be a lot to handle, but there's something undeniably flattering about being the center of her obsessive affections. It's nice to feel so wanted, so needed.

"I'm safe, baby," he murmurs, settling back against the pillows. "I'm right here. You can relax now."

Sylvia lets out a shaky breath. "Talk to me?" she pleads quietly. "Just... tell me about your day, or a funny story, or anything. I just need to listen to you for a bit."

Adam tips his head back, thinking. "Alright, lemme see... oh, I got a good one. So you know how Michael's always going on about the power of love and forgiveness and all that hippy-dippy crap?"
Sylvia giggles. "Yeah, he's such a soft boy. It's adorable."

"Right, so get this," Adam continues, warming to his tale. "I overheard him the other day, trying to give Gabriel advice on how to woo some chick..."

He launches into the story, complete with voices and sound effects. Sylvia listens intently, giggling and gasping in all the right places.

They stay like that for a long time, Adam rambling on about his day and the antics of their fellow angels, while Sylvia drinks in his every word like it's gospel. Her breathing gradually evens out, the manic edge leaving her voice as Adam's soothing baritone washes over her.

"...and then Uriel said, 'that's not a flaming sword, that's my curling iron!' and Sandalphon nearly discorporated on the spot," Adam concludes with a chuckle.

Sylvia laughs softly, but it's punctuated by a yawn. "Mmm, I can picture his face," she mumbles sleepily. "Bet he looked like a scandalized old maid."

Adam grins. "Got it in one, baby. He clutched his pearls so hard I thought he'd sprain something."

Sylvia hums, clearly fading. "Love your stories," she sighs. "Love your voice. Love you, Addy..."

Adam's breath catches. They've only been seeing each other for a few months, haven't put any labels on this thing between them yet. To hear Sylvia say those words, even half-conscious... it does something funny to his chest.

"Get some sleep, gorgeous," he murmurs, voice unbearably tender. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? Maybe take you out for waffles before work."

"Mmkay," Sylvia agrees around another yawn. "G'night, Adam..."

"Night, Sylvie."

Adam waits until he hears her breathing even out, the soft snuffling of slumber, before he hangs up. He sets the phone aside and lays back down, mind whirling.

He's in trouble, he realizes. One night of cuddles and pet names, and he's already half-gone on his crazy little exorcist. It should scare him, the depth of emotion she stirs in his jaded old heart...
But instead, he just feels warm. Content. Like maybe, just maybe, he's finally found his missing puzzle piece.

His Sylvia-shaped puzzle piece.

Adam drifts off with a smile on his lips, dreaming of wild blue hair and bottomless dark eyes.

Yeah. He's definitely in trouble.

But as he slips into darkness, one thought crystallizes in his mind, sharp and bright as the edge of a blade.

Worth it.

Chapter Text

A cauldron bubbles ominously in the center of a dimly lit, gothic chamber. Candles flicker, casting eerie shadows on the stone walls. Suddenly, a puff of glittery smoke erupts from the cauldron.

Adam finds himself in a dimly lit, gothic-looking bedroom. Candles flicker on every surface, casting eerie shadows on the walls. The air smells of incense and something darker, more primal.

"What the Heaven?" Adam mutters, looking around in confusion. "Where am I?"

"You're exactly where I want you, my pretty," a sultry voice purrs from the shadows.

Adam whirls around to see Sylvia emerge from the darkness, but not as he knows her. She's dressed in a tight, low-cut black dress and a pointy hat, her blue-streaked hair wild and untamed.

"Sylvie?" Adam asks incredulously. "What's going on? Why are you dressed like that?"

Witch Sylvia throws her head back and laughs, the sound sending shivers down Adam's spine. 

"Oh, it's me alright. But a whole new me, with a whole new bag of tricks. And you, my scrumptious morsel, are the main ingredient in my recipe for love." Witch Sylvia said, pointing a blue painted finger at him.

Adam's jaw drops. "Nope, nope, nope! I did not sign up for this kinky witchcraft shit!"

He turns to run, but finds himself frozen in place. Witch Sylvia stalks towards him, hips swaying hypnotically.

"Tsk tsk, naughty boy. You can't run from me, Adam. I own you now, body and soul..." She trails a sharp nail down his chest, leaving a thin golden line in its wake.

Adam yelps and finally breaks free of her spell. He bolts for the door, slamming it behind him. Adam races down a long, winding hallway lined with portraits of Witch Sylvia in various seductive poses. The eyes seem to follow him as he runs.

"Oh, Addy... You can't hideaway from me, my love. I've got a spell with your name on it!" Witch Sylvia's voice echoes after him. 

Adam runs faster, heart pounding. He ducks into rooms at random, trying to evade his pursuer, but she's always right behind him, cackling madly.

Her disembodied laughter echoes through the hall. Adam looks back over his shoulder, panting, and suddenly slams into...

...a plush, king-sized bed, landing face-first in the silky sheets. He rolls over to see Witch Sylvia perched on the edge of the bed, smirking.

"Now then," Witch Sylvia muses, tapping her chin. "What should I wear while I ravish you senseless? Maid outfit? Schoolgirl uniform? Ooh, I know!"

She twirls her hand, and her dress transforms into a skimpy nurse's costume, complete with fishnet stockings and a tiny hat. "Nurse Sylvia is here to take your temperature," she coos, brandishing a comically large thermometer.

Adam whimpers. "Sylvie, please. This is insane! I'm your husband, not your sex slave!" he exclaimed, though he could feel his dick twitching.

Witch Sylvia pouts. "You're no fun." She twirls again, and the nurse outfit becomes a sexy cop uniform, complete with handcuffs. "How about now? You've been a very bad boy, Adam. I'm gonna have to frisk you."

Adam just moans pitifully. Witch Sylvia cycles through a few more outfits - sexy firefighter, sexy nun, sexy plumber - before finally settling on classic black lingerie, all lace and silk and straps.

Sylvia smirked, Adam's bulge had become more noticeable. This was definitely the one.

She crawls up Adam's body, eyes burning with lust. "Now then, my darling. Let's see if we can make you scream..."

She leans down to capture his mouth in a searing kiss, and Adam sits bolt upright in bed, gasping for air.

He looks around wildly, disoriented, before realizing he's in his own bedroom. Beside him, Sylvia - his Sylvia - snores gently, dead to the world.

"What the fuck," Adam croaks, running a shaky hand through his hair. "That was...intense."

He glances down at his wife, sleeping so peacefully. She looks like an angel, all sweet and innocent... but Adam knows better. He's seen the kinky depths that lurk beneath that adorable exterior.
Shaking his head, Adam carefully extracts himself from bed.

"Holy shit, what a fuckin' trip. That was some next-level freaky deaky..." he said. He needs a shower, STAT - a nice, cold shower to wash away the sweat and the lingering remnants of that bizarre, unsettling dream.

He pads to the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind him. A minute later, the sound of running water fills the apartment.

Back in bed, Sylvia cracks one eye open. A slow, wicked grin spreads across her face, and she giggles silently into her pillow.

Oh, if only Adam knew... his dream wasn't too far off from reality. Sylvia has a whole closet full of fun costumes, just waiting to be broken out.

The sexy nurse one is her favorite.

Maybe it's time for another round of "Doctor, Doctor"... Sylvia muses as she drifts back to sleep, already plotting.

Poor Adam. He has no idea what he's in for...

But then again, what else is new?

Chapter Text

Sylvia gazed up at Adam, her blue eyes shining with adoration. She reached up to cup his stubbled cheek, her touch reverent.

"Adam, my love, I need you to know something," she said solemnly. "I love you. More than anything in any realm. You're my whole world, my reason for being. I will never, ever leave you."

Adam smiled, lazily covering her hand with his own. "I know, baby. I love you too."

But Sylvia shook her head, unsatisfied. She needed Adam to understand the depths of her devotion.

"No, Adam, you don't get it," she insisted. "I would do anything for you. Kill for you. Die for you. I would rip out my own wings and set myself on fire if you asked me to."

Adam blinked, a bit taken aback by her intensity. "Uh, that's not necessary, dollface. I believe you."

Sylvia clutched at his shirt, her expression fierce. "But I need you to KNOW, damn it! Here, I'll prove it to you!"

She released him and began rummaging frantically in the drawers, muttering to herself. Adam watched warily, wondering what fresh insanity his wife was about to unleash.

"Aha!" Sylvia crowed, holding up a wicked-looking dagger. Before Adam could stop her, she sliced open her palm, golden blood welling from the cut.

"I swear on my blood," she intoned gravely, "that I, Sylvia Dmitri, will love and serve you, Adam, for all of eternity. May the Almighty strike me down if I ever break this vow."

"Jesus, Sylvie!" Adam yelped, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her dripping hand. "Are you crazy? You can't just go around slicing yourself up!"

But Sylvia was undeterred. She used her other hand to yank down the collar of her shirt, exposing the creamy swell of her breast.

"Carve your name into my flesh!" she demanded, thrusting the knife at him hilt-first. "Mark me as yours forever!"

"What? No!" Adam refused, appalled. "Babe, you're taking this a little far, don't you think?"

Sylvia let out a crazed little giggle. "Too far? There's no such thing! Not when it comes to my love for you!"

She began to advance on him, still brandishing the dagger. "If you won't do it, I'll just carve 'Property of Adam' into myself!"

Adam backed away slowly, hands raised. Despite the fact, she was smaller than him, the terror of her with that knife didn't leave him.

"Whoa there, crazy pants. Let's put the sharp objects away, okay? I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't need you to mutilate yourself to prove your love."

Sylvia paused, tilting her head. "You don't? But how will you know I'm serious about us? That I'll never betray you like that skank Eve did?"

"Sylvie, sweetheart, light of my life," Adam said carefully, gently prying the dagger from her fingers. "I know you love me. You show me every day, just by being your sweet, batshit crazy self. I don't need blood oaths or body carvings. I just need you, safe and whole and by my side. Okay?"

Sylvia's manic expression softened, her eyes going misty. "Oh, Adam," she breathed. "You always know just what to say. Of course I'll stay safe for you. Anything for my big, strong, understanding man."

She flung herself into his arms, heedless of her still-bleeding hand. Adam hugged her tightly, marveling at the amazing, terrifying, ride-or-die woman he'd married. His woman, forever and always.

"I love you, you glorious psycho," he murmured into her hair.

Sylvia sighed blissfully, nuzzling into his neck. "I love you too, studly. No take-backs."

Adam chuckled, stroking her back. He made a mental note to hide all the sharp objects in the house, just in case. But truthfully, he wouldn't have his crazy angel any other way.

She was his, and he was hers. Eternally. Irrevocably. Till death and beyond.

And God help anyone who tried to come between them.

Chapter Text

Sylvia huffed, blowing a stray lock of hair out of her face as she watched Adam's eyes stay glued to the TV screen. He'd been at it for HOURS, mashing buttons and screaming at his virtual teammates like a man possessed.

It was like she wasn't even there! Here she was, lounging on the couch in her skimpiest négligée, practically begging for some loving, and her hubby couldn't tear himself away from his stupid beep-boop game long enough to even ogle her goodies! The nerve!

"Oh Addy-kins~" Sylvia called, arching her back in a way that made her cleavage strain against the lacy cups of her nightie. "Wanna take a break and play with something a little more... hands-on? I've got a joystick that could really use some TLC..."

"Uh huh, sounds great babe," Adam grunted distractedly, not even glancing her way. "Lemme just finish this raid real quick..."

Sylvia scowled, crossing her arms with a petulant huff. This was getting ridiculous! She hadn't shaved her legs and squeezed herself into this dental-floss-masquerading-as-clothing for nothing, dammit!

For a moment, she contemplated "accidentally" knocking over Adam's precious console, maybe dousing it in holy water for good measure. But no... Knowing Adam, he'd just buy a new one and spend even MORE time gaming out of spite. Plus, she'd have to endure his pathetic man-child sobbing, and nobody wanted that.

No, Sylvia needed a more subtle approach. A way to make ADAM come to HER, begging for attention. But how...?

Suddenly, inspiration struck. If Adam was too busy for her, then SHE would get busy with something else too! See how HE liked being ignored for a change!

Grinning wickedly, Sylvia materialized her laptop and began browsing the web for a suitably engrossing hobby. Knitting? No, too grandma. Woodworking? Ugh, splinters. Competitive dog grooming? Tempting, but she'd probably end up shaving Adam in his sleep...

Then, she found it. The perfect pastime to consume her every waking moment, just like Adam's dumb video games consumed his.

Fanfiction.

Sylvia cackled gleefully as she devoured story after story, barely coming up for air. Oh, this was DELICIOUS! All the juicy "plot," the delightfully depraved "character development"... She couldn't get enough!

Soon, she was writing her own saucy tales, fingers flying over the keyboard as she spun yarns of dashing yaoi boys getting down and dirty in increasingly improbable ways. It was ADDICTING.

Hours turned into days, and before Sylvia knew it, a week had passed in a haze of homoerotic prose and lewd giggling. She barely noticed when Adam finally pried himself away from his game, blinking at her like a confused caveman.

"Uh... babe? You okay?" he asked cautiously, taking in her manic grin and the dark circles under her eyes. "You haven't moved from that spot in like... a while."

"Oh, I'm just PEACHY, sugar tits!" Sylvia trilled, not looking up from her screen. "In fact, I'm BETTER than peachy. I've discovered my TRUE CALLING. The most stimulating, enrapturing, AROUSING hobby in all of creation!"

Adam perked up at that, a lascivious grin spreading across his face. "Oh really? And what might that be, my ravishing raven-haired seductress?"

He sidled closer, trying to catch a peek at Sylvia's laptop. "C'mon, don't hold out on me! Is it something sexy? Oooh, are you writing erotica? Lemme see, I bet it's hot as- JESUS CHRIST!"

Adam reeled back, clapping his hands over his eyes in horror. On the screen, in big bold letters, were the words "AND THEN RODRIGO PLUNGED HIS THROBBING MAN-LANCE INTO SAMUEL'S QUIVERING LOVE GROTTO" followed by several paragraphs of graphic, anatomically improbable gay sex.

"WHAT THE FUCK, SYLVIE?!" Adam yelped, peeking through his fingers in morbid fascination. "Is that- are they- OH GOD, I DIDN'T KNOW IT COULD BEND LIKE THAT!"

Sylvia just smiled serenely, finally looking up at her traumatized husband. "What's the matter, honey bunches? I thought you WANTED me to find a new hobby! One that would keep me nice and occupied, just like your little pew-pew games keep YOU occupied..."

Her smile sharpened into something predatory. "But hey, if my spicy man-on-man love stories bother you THAT much, I suppose I could be persuaded to take a break... IF a certain someone was willing to pry himself away from the idiot box and attend to his wife's needs. If you know what I mean..."

Adam gulped, Adam's apple bobbing convulsively. He glanced longingly at his abandoned controller, then back at Sylvia's knowing smirk. Back to the controller, then Sylvia. Controller, Sylvia. Controller-

"OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Sylvia exploded, slamming her laptop shut. "FORGET IT, YOU EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED MAN-CHILD! I'LL JUST GO WRITE PORN IN THE BATH, DON'T MIND ME!"

She stormed off, leaving a gobsmacked Adam gaping in her wake. He rallied quickly though, chasing after her while desperately trying to shuck his pants.

"W-wait, baby, I'm sorry!" he pleaded. "I can change, I swear! I'll be so attentive, you'll forget all about your creepy dude-on-dude smut! SYLVIIIEEEE!"

From the bathroom, the sound of furious typing and occasional maniacal laughter was his only answer.

Adam sighed, thunking his head against the door. Served him right for ignoring his smokin' hot, slightly-unhinged, yaoi-obsessed wife.

Oh well. If you can't beat 'em... join 'em.

Squaring his shoulders, Adam called out with only a slight tremble in his voice, "Hey, uh... maybe I could help inspire you? Y'know, muse-style? We could brainstorm sexy synonyms for 'throbbing'..."

The typing paused. "Keep talking, and lose the pants. Mama needs fresh meat for her newest AU fic. And you're looking like grade A cattle right about now..."

Adam gulped again but obediently shimmied out of his pants. The things he did for love.

And for fear of being written into an orgy scene with a brawny lumberjack named Sven and his trio of frisky bear "companions."

He REALLY needed to start appreciating his wife more... Before she appreciated him right into an early grave via yaoi-induced heart attack.

Ah well. There were worse ways to go!

Chapter Text

[Interior - Adam and Sylvia's bedroom. Late night.]

Adam is sprawled across the bed, snoring loudly. Sylvia entered their room, looking exhausted but she smiled at the sight of her husband.

"Aw, look at my big, handsome man. Sleeping like a baby angel." Sylvia whispered.

She tiptoes closer, gazing at Adam's face with adoration. She loves watching him sleep, finding peace in the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, the flutter of his eyelashes, the soft parting of his lips. It's her favorite hobby.

Sylvia happily sighed, "I could watch you forever, darling." she said.

But then she shivers, noticing how Adam's bulk takes up nearly the entire bed, leaving little room for her. She frowns.

"Oh Addy, you're hogging the bed again. But I can't disturb you, not when you're sleeping so sweetly..." 

Her eyes fall on a used towel draped over a chair. An idea sparks. She grabs the towel and a pillow, then quietly lowers herself to the floor beside the bed. She bunches the towel up and wraps it around herself like a makeshift blanket.

"There. It's almost like you're holding me, honeybun. Your scent, your warmth... it's like you're right here next to me." she said

She curls up, trying to get comfortable on the hard floor. The towel was thin and scratchy, doing little to ward off the chill of the night and the tininess of her nightie. Sylvia began to shiver, her teeth chattering.

'It's just like those winters back at the compound. When we had to huddle together for warmth, praying we'd make it through the night...' she thought.

A single tear slips down her cheek at the memory. But she quickly brushes it away, forcing a smile even as her body trembles with cold.

"This is nothing. I survived then, I can survive now. As long as I have my Addy, I can endure anything." she whispered to herself. She closes her eyes, trying to drift off, the towel clutched tight around her shaking form.

Hours pass and Adam stirs, rolling over to reach for his wife via muscle memory. But his hand meets empty air.

"Sylvie? Baby?" he murmured sleepily.

He sits up, rubbing his eyes. Then he spots her, curled up on the floor, shivering violently in her thin towel. His eyes widen with alarm.

"Sylvie! WHAT THE FUCK?!" he exclaimed.

He quickly leaps out of bed, gathering her up in his arms. She's ice-cold, her lips tinged blue.

"Baby, why are you on the floor? You're freezing!" Adam said, frantically, shaking her slightly.

Sylvia stirred groggily, "A-Addy? I didn't want to w-wake you... You looked so peaceful..." she answered.

"Peaceful? Fuck that, you're more important than my beauty sleep! C'mere, let's get you warm." He said, cradling her close. He carries her to the bed, bundling her up in blankets and comforters until only her face peeks out. Then he climbs in beside her, pulling her shivering body flush against his.

Adam rubbed her back, then her arms, trying to bring warmth back into her skin, "There, there, sugar. I've got you. I'll always keep you warm, you hear me?" he said.

Sylvia burrowed into his embrace, soaking in his heat. "I know you will, darling. You always take such good care of me. My beautiful first man..." she said, cuddling into him.

Adam kissed her forehead fiercely, "Love you too, you crazy woman. But no more sleeping on the floor, alright? I don't care if you have to shove me off the bed, you sleep right here, got it?" he said.

"Got it. No more floor." Sylvia said, smiling shakily.

They cling to each other as Sylvia slowly stops shivering, Adam's warmth chasing away the bone-deep chill and the dark memories. In his arms, she knows she's safe. Loved. Home. She falls asleep to the steady thump of his heartbeat, the cold and the past fading away, replaced by dreams of a bright, warm future with her beloved husband by her side, always.

Chapter Text

[Interior - Adam and Sylvia's living room.]

Adam bursts through the front door, waving an envelope excitedly.

"Sylvie, baby! You'll never guess what just came in the mail!" Adam said.

Sylvia stared up from polishing Blueberry, "What is it, honeybun?" she asked.

"We just got invited to the biggest Christmas bash in all of Heaven! Isn't that great?" he asked, expecting her to be excited and happy.

But to his confusion, she only blinked, "Christmas? What's that?" she asked.

Adam's jaw dropped, "What's Christmas? Babe, it's only the most wonderful time of the year! You know, Santa Claus, presents, jingle bells, all that jazz!" he described.

"Santa Claus? Who's that? Is he like Ded Moroz?" Sylvia asked.

"Dead who now?" Adam asked. It was his turn to be confused.

"Ded Moroz! He was this badass old guy who would give us presents if we were good and obedient! Papa Sergei used to tell us stories about him!" she explained, happily.

Adam scratched his head, "Uh, I guess he's kinda like Santa? But Santa's more jolly and less... badass." he answered.

"Oh. Well, that's lame. What's so great about this Christmas thing anyway?" Sylvia asked, folding her arms, disappointed.

"What's so great? Babe, it's a time for family, for love, for giving! There's decorations and carols and feasts and..." Adam rambled until he noticed Sylvia's blank look, "...and you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" he asked.

Sylvia shrugged, "Not really. In the cul- I MEAN, where I grew up, winter was just a terrible season that killed everything and everyone. We didn't really celebrate it." she explained.

Adam softened, "Aw, sugar. I'm sorry, I didn't know." he said.

"It's okay, Addy. I'm just not used to this whole... Christmas thing." Sylvia reassured,

Adam pulled her in with his arm, "Well, that's all gonna change! I'm gonna show you the best Christmas ever, Sylvie style!" he exclaimed pridefully.

"I don't know, Adam... It all seems so strange to me." she replied doubtfully, looking away.

Adam kissed her forehead in response, "Trust me, baby. By the time I'm done, you'll be ho-ho-hoing with the best of 'em!" he said.

"If you say so, honeybun." Sylvia giggled. 

Adam pulled her to her feet, "C'mon, let's go shopping! We gotta get you a sexy Mrs. Claus outfit!" he said.

"Sexy, you say? Well, why didn't you lead with that?" Sylvia asked, perking up immediately.

Sylvia allows Adam to drag her out the door, still a bit confused but willing to give this Christmas thing a try. After all, with her Addy by her side, how bad could it be?

Sylvia now stood in the middle of a crowded mall, wide-eyed and overwhelmed as Christmas music blares and shoppers bustle around her.

"I am no longer in Heaven. This is Hell. I'm in Hell." she commented emotionlessly.

"Ooh, Sylvie, look at this one! You'd make one smokin' hot Mrs. Claus!" Adam said obliviously, holding up a skimpy red velvet dress trimmed with white fuzz.

"Yay. Christmas." she acted.

Sylvia pastes on a smile as Adam continues to pile Christmas-themed lingerie into their cart. She loves him, but sometimes, his enthusiasm is a bit much. Still, if sexy Santa outfits are involved... maybe this Christmas thing won't be so bad after all.

[Interior - a grand ballroom decked out in glittering Christmas decorations.]

Angels mill about, sipping eggnog and mingling. Adam and Sylvia enter, Adam in a dashing Santa suit and Sylvia in her skimpy Mrs. Claus outfit.

"Now this is what I'm talking about! Babe, welcome to your first Christmas party!" Adam said.

"It's so... bright. And loud. And... is that a tree inside the building?" Sylvia said wide-eyed, clutching Adam's arm.

"That's the Christmas tree, sugar! Ain't she a beaut?" Adam said.

"But... why is it inside? And why is it covered in shiny things?" Sylvia asked.

Adam lead her further into the room, "It's decoration, Sylvie! It's all part of the Christmas spirit and that good shit!"

An angel flies by, holding out a tray of gingerbread cookies.

"Gingerbread man?" they asked.

"Why does that cookie have a face? Is it alive? Do we have to kill it?" Sylvia rambled, recoiling from the tray.

"No, no, babe! It's just a cookie! A tasty treat, that's all!" Adam said quickly.

Sylvia hesitantly takes a cookie, sniffing it suspiciously. She takes a small bite, her eyes widening.

"It's... good. Really good." she mumbled around the cookie.

Adam breathed a sigh of relief, "See? Christmas food is the best!" he said.

Suddenly, a jolly "Ho, ho, ho!" echoes through the room. Sylvia jumps, dropping her cookie.

"What was that? Are we under attack?" she asked, alarmed.

Adam burst out laughing, "No, sugar, that's just Santa!" he said.

Santa Claus himself appeared, his belly jiggling as he laughs merrily. Sylvia stares at the man himself, her mouth agape.

"That's Santa? He's so... fat." she whispered. Not that she minded bigger boned people (look at her husband), but this wasn't she expected at all.

Adam elbowed her, "Shh! Cool it with the fat-shaming, Sylvie!" he shushed. He actually liked Santa, dangit!

Santa approached them, "Well, well, if it isn't Adam and his lovely wife! Merry Christmas!"

"Are you Ded Moroz?" Sylvia asked bluntly.

"I beg your pardon?" Santa asked, confused.

"She means, uh, are you the one who brings presents to good little girls and boys?" Adam clarified on her behalf.

Santa took it and laughed heartily, "Of course! That's my job, after all!" he said.

"And what do you do to the bad ones?" Sylvia asked,

"I... well, they get coal in their stockings." he explained, taken aback.

"That's it? You don't beat them with sticks or anything?" Sylvia asked, disappointed.

"Sylvie!" Adam hissed, mortified.

"Uh... no. That's not really my style." Santa said, becoming very uncomfortable.

An awkward silence falls. Adam clears his throat.

"So! How about that eggnog, huh?" he said.

He steers Sylvia away, smiling apologetically at Santa. Sylvia allows herself to be led, still looking confused and a bit let down.

"This Christmas thing is weird." Sylvia muttered.

"I know it's a lot to take in, baby. But just try to enjoy it, okay? For me?" he asked, patting her hand.

Sylvia looked up at him, seeing the pleading in his eyes. She sighed, then forced a smile.

"You're right, honeybun. Lead the way to this... eggnog stuff." she said.

Adam grins, kissing her cheek before guiding her towards the refreshment table. Sylvia followed, determined to embrace the Christmas spirit, even if it makes no sense to her. 

[A few hours later]

Sylvia was beginning to appreciate the joys of Christmas. She had sampled eggnog, and while it didn't thrill her like it did her husband, Adam, she found it passable. As she examined the tree up close, the ornaments and lights sparkled beautifully, capturing her attention. She even spotted Santa's sleigh and the reindeer, whom she affectionately referred to as "beautiful ladies," leaving Adam a bit puzzled.

AND THE FOOD! Sylvia swallowed a turkey leg clean off the bone, it was as impressive as it was strange. She also had some ham. Oh, and don't get her started on the pies and cookies!

Sylvia was currently by the refreshment table, sipping from a mug of hot chocolate, her eyes wide with delight. Now THIS was delicious.

"Oh my goodness, this hot chocolate stuff is amazing! It's like a warm, sweet hug in a cup!" she exclaimed. She takes another big sip, getting whipped cream on her nose. Adam approaches, chuckling at the sight.

"Having fun, sugar?" he asked.

"Addy, have you tried this hot chocolate? It's incredible!" she beamed.

Adam wiped the cream off her nose, "I can see that. You're wearing half of it."

"Oops. But seriously, I think I'm starting to get the hang of this Christmas thing. The food, the decorations... it's all so magical!" she complimented.

Suddenly, music starts playing. It's a classic Christmas carol, "Silent Night." Without thinking, Sylvia starts singing along, her voice clear and beautiful.

"Silent night, holy night..."

Other angels turn to stare, amazed by her lovely voice. Adam gapes at her.

"Sylvie, I didn't know you could sing like that!" he whispered in surprise,

Sylvia paused and blushed out of embarrassment, "Oh, well... I may have picked up a few things, growing up in the cul- I mean, growing up." she said, correcting herself before she said anything weird.

She spots a harp nearby and gets an idea. She hands her hot chocolate to Adam and goes to the harp, sitting down and starting to play along with the music. Her fingers fly over the strings, the notes blending perfectly with her singing.

"'All is calm, all is bright...'" she sang beautifully.

A crowd gathers around her, listening in awe. Even Santa pauses his ho-ho-hoing to listen. Sylvia lost herself in the music, a serene smile on her face.

The song ends and the room erupts in applause. Sylvia stands, curtsying and grinning.

Adam rushed over to hug her, "Baby, that was amazing! You're a regular Christmas angel!" he exclaimed.

Sylvia laughed, "I guess I am! Oh Addy, I think I'm really starting to love this holiday!" she confessed.

She reaches into her cleavage, pulling out a sprig of mistletoe. She holds it up, frowning at it.

"I do have one question, though. What's this plant for? Are we supposed to eat it? Brew it into a potion?" she asked, genuinely confused.

Adam smirked, "Not exactly, sugar. Here, let me show you." He takes the mistletoe and holds it over their heads. Then he pulls Sylvia close and kisses her deeply. Sylvia makes a surprised noise, then melts into the kiss, wrapping her arms around him.

They break apart, both a little flushed. Sylvia licks her lips.

"Wow. I think I like that tradition best of all." she commented breathlessly.

Adam grinned wolfishly, "Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet. Wait 'til I show you what else we can do under the mistletoe..." He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Sylvia giggles, swatting at his chest.

"Adam! Not in front of Santa!" she exclaimed.

Adam simply pulled her close again, "Aw, he's a married man. He understands." he said.

They kiss again as the party continues around them, lost in their own little world of Christmas magic and love.

Chapter Text

Adam slouched on the couch, beer in hand as Sylvia flitted around, tidying. "Babe, when's dinner gonna be ready? I'm wastin' away to a shadow over here!"

Sylvia beamed manically. "Right away, snookums! Your every wish is my command!"

She zoomed into the kitchen, returning in seconds with a heaping plate of ribs. "Here you are, my lord and master! I slaved all day to make your favorite!"

"Uh... thanks?" Adam said, taken aback by her eerie eagerness. "But maybe take it down a notch-"

"Of course, how silly of me!" Sylvia gushed. "Let me just lay everything out for you!"

She proceeded to cut up his food into bite-size pieces, frantically fanning him between bites. Adam could only gape in mounting horror.

"Sylvie! I can't find my keys! Did you move them again?" Adam bellowed.

Sylvia materialized at his side, a beatific vision in a simple white linen jumpsuit paired with a long blue kimono featuring paisley prints. "Oh, of COURSE not, pookie bear! What kind of wife would I be if I expected my big, strong MAN to keep track of his own things?" she cooed.

She produced his keys with a flourish, along with his wallet and a packed lunch. "I took the liberty of making you a sammie for later, schnookums. Crusts cut off, just how you like!" she said.

"Er... you didn't have to-"

"Nonsense! Taking care of my man is my greatest JOY!" Sylvia simpered, fluffing his hair. "In fact, I already filled up your gas tank, rotated your tires, and detailed your car inside and out! Twice!"

"...at 7am? On a Saturday?" 

"It's never too early to be a domestic GODDESS, silly billy! Now, you just run along and do your big important man things. I'll be here, eagerly awaiting your return to worship the ground you walk on!"

Adam backed away slowly, cold sweat breaking out on his brow at Sylvia's terrifyingly perky grin.

Adam was lounging on the couch, watching BrightTube.

Sylvia entered, a basket of laundry in her arms. "Folding clothes, folding clothes, making sure my Addy's clothes are nice and clean from head to toes!" she sang.

Adam glanced up, "Uh, thanks babe. You can just leave 'em there, I'll put 'em away later." he said lazily.

"Leave them? Oh no, honeybun, I could never! What kind of wife would I be if I didn't lovingly place each garment in its proper place?"

She starts meticulously folding and putting away the laundry, color-coding Adam's socks and alphabetizing his underwear.

"Sylvie, seriously, you don't have to-" Adam said.

But the laundry was magically done just as he was saying that.

"All done! Now, what's next on my Addy-pleasing agenda?" she asked.

She pulls out a comically long to-do list, humming as she scans it.

Adam's eyes bulged in surprise, "Maybe... maybe you could take a break?" he said slowly.

Sylvia just burst into laughter, "Oh Addy, you're so silly! Don't you know breaks are for the weak!" she said, squeezing his cheek.

She then bounces off to tackle her next task, leaving Adam staring after her, shaking his head in disbelief.

Adam was relaxing in a bubble bath, his eyes closed. Sylvia kicks open the door, carrying a tray.

"Oh Addy-kins, I brought you some refreshments for your bath!" she cooed.

Adam cracked an eye open, "Refreshments? For my bath?" he asked slowly.

Sylvia nodded eagerly, "Uh-huh! I've got chilled champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, and a selection of bath salts and oils for your soaking pleasure!" she rambled.

She starts arranging the items around the tub, lighting scented candles.

"Babe, this is real sweet, but you know I'm just in here to get clean, right? I don't need all this fancy shit." Adam said, though to his golden eyes went to the strawberries.

"But Addy, you deserve to be pampered! You work so hard, smiting demons and being all manly and virile..." she whined, pouting.

She starts massaging his shoulders, cooing in his ear.

"Let me take care of you, big boy. Let wifey make you feel good." she cooed seductively.

Adam, torn between relaxing, aroused and feeling slightly smothered, groaned, "Sylvie, baby, I appreciate it, I do. But sometimes, a man just needs to wash his balls in peace, y'know?" 

"Oh. I... I didn't realize." she said.

She stands up, looking a little crestfallen. Adam groaned louder, pulling her hand to his lips for a kiss.

"Tell you what, sugar. How 'bout you go run yourself a bath, and I'll come pamper you when I'm done here? Sound good?" he asked.

Sylvia quickly brightened, "Really? You'd do that for me?"

"'Course I would. Gotta keep my best girl happy, don't I?" he asked.

Sylvia squeals, planting a big, wet kiss on his cheek before running out of the bathroom.

"And leave the strawberries!" he yelled.

Sylvia came by and put down the strawberries within reaching distance before scurrying off again to prepare her own bath.

Adam leans back, shaking his head fondly.

"That woman's gonna be the death of me. But damn if I don't love her crazy ass." he said.

He sinks into the bubbles, smiling to himself. Being the object of Sylvia's intense affections may be overwhelming at times, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

Chapter Text

Adam walked Sylvia to her door, his arm slung casually around her waist. They'd had a great night out, and he was feeling lucky. After all, they'd hooked up plenty of times before. Why should tonight be any different?

As they reached her doorstep, Adam spun Sylvia around, pressing her against the door with a roguish grin. "So, babe," he purred, running a finger down her cheek. "You gonna invite me in for a little...nightcap?"

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, his meaning clear. But to his surprise, Sylvia didn't melt into his arms like usual. Instead, she placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back slightly.

"Actually, Adam," she said, her voice uncharacteristically cool, "I think it's best if you head home. I'm sure you have plenty of other...options waiting for you."

Adam blinked, taken aback. "Other options? What are you talking about?"

Sylvia rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Oh, please. Like I don't know about your little harem of exorcist groupies. I bet they're all lined up, just waiting for a chance to warm your bed."

Adam's jaw dropped. Sure, he'd slept with a few of the other exorcists, but it wasn't like he was running some kind of angelic brothel! And besides, he genuinely liked Sylvia. She wasn't just another notch on his bedpost.

"Sylvie, baby, it's not like that," he tried to explain, reaching for her. "You know you're special to me."

But Sylvia dodged his grasp, her hand on the doorknob. "Special? Right. Just like all the others, I'm sure."

She opened the door, stepping inside. Adam tried to follow, but she placed a hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks. "Goodnight, Adam," she said firmly. "I hope you and your harem have a lovely evening." And with that, she shut the door in his face, leaving a stunned Adam gaping at the wood grain. He ran a hand on hi, trying to process what had just happened.

"Sylvie, wait!" he called through the door. "C'mon, babe, let me explain!"

But there was no response from the other side. Adam groaned loudly.

He couldn't believe it. The one woman he actually had feelings for, and she thought he was just using her like all the others.

Little did he know, as he trudged away from her door, that this was only the beginning. That the sassy, spirited exorcist with the black and blue bob cut and the crazy eyes would one day become his ride-or-die, his partner in all things.

But for now, all he could do was lick his wounds and try to figure out how to convince Sylvia that she was the only angel he wanted to fly with.

Inside her apartment, Sylvia leaned against the door, her heart racing. She couldn't believe she'd actually done it, that she'd stood up to Adam and his playboy ways.

A slow smile spread across her face as she pushed off the door and headed for her bedroom. She had plans to make, obstacles to eliminate.

And as she pulled out her secret chart, the one detailing all the ways she could get rid of her competition, Sylvia couldn't help but laugh.

Adam may have thought he was the one in control, but little did he know, he'd just met his match. And one way or another, Sylvia was determined to make him hers.

Exclusively.

Chapter Text

Adam stepped into the penthouse, a heart-shaped box of chocolates tucked under his arm. He couldn't wait to see the look on Sylvia's face when he gave them to her - he knew how much his wife loved her sweets.

"Sylvie?" he called out, kicking off his shoes and padding into the living room. "I'm home, baby."

He stopped short, his jaw dropping at the sight before him. The room was bathed in the soft glow of dozens of candles, rose petals scattered across the floor. Soft music played in the background, a sultry music that set the mood for romance.

But it was Sylvia herself that took his breath away. She stood in the center of the room, a vision in a figure-hugging red dress trimmed with black lace. The color was a stark contrast to her usual bohemian white and blue, but no less stunning.

"Welcome home, handsome," she purred, sauntering over to him with a sway in her hips. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Adam swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. "Wow," he managed, his eyes raking over her appreciatively. "Baby, you look...incredible."

Sylvia preened, doing a little twirl to show off her outfit. "You like? I thought I'd try something a little different today."

"I more than like," Adam growled, pulling her into his arms and capturing her lips in a searing kiss. Sylvia melted into him, her arms winding around his neck as she parted her lips, inviting him deeper.
When they finally broke apart, both breathing heavily, Adam remembered the box in his hand. "Oh, I got you something," he said, holding it out to her with a grin.

Sylvia's eyes widened, her hands flying to her mouth. "For me? Oh, Adam..."

She took the box reverently, her fingers tracing over the shiny red foil. Adam watched her, his heart swelling with love at the look of wonder on her face.

"Open it," he urged gently, nodding at the box. Sylvia carefully untied the ribbon, lifting the lid to reveal an assortment of gourmet chocolates.

"Oh, these look divine," she breathed, her eyes fluttering closed as she inhaled the rich aroma. She plucked one from the box, holding it up to Adam's lips.

"Here, my love," she murmured, her voice low and sultry. "Let me feed you..."

But Adam caught her wrist, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Actually, sugar...I was thinking maybe I could feed you."

Sylvia blinked, surprise flickering across her face. "Me?"

Adam nodded, taking the chocolate from her fingers. "Yeah, you. My gorgeous, sexy, amazing wife who deserves to be spoiled rotten."

He brought the chocolate to her lips, brushing it gently against the soft pink flesh. Sylvia's breath hitched, her eyes darkening with desire.

"Open up, baby," Adam coaxed, his voice a low rumble. Sylvia obeyed, parting her lips to allow him to slip the sweet inside.

She let out a little moan as the flavors burst across her tongue, her eyes fluttering closed in bliss. Adam watched her, transfixed by the look of pure pleasure on her face.

"Good?" he asked, his own voice rough with want. Sylvia nodded, swallowing the decadent treat.

"So good," she breathed, her tongue darting out to lick a stray smudge of chocolate from her lip. Adam tracked the movement, his blood heating with a sudden, fierce hunger.

"Here," he said, plucking another chocolate from the box. "Try this one. It's got blueberries in it."

Sylvia's eyes lit up at the mention of her favorite fruit. She leaned forward, parting her lips in anticipation. This time, when Adam placed the chocolate on her tongue, he let his fingers linger, brushing against the soft, wet heat of her mouth.

Sylvia's breath hitched, her teeth grazing his fingertips as she closed her mouth around the treat. Adam groaned, his pants tightening at the sensation.

"Fuck, baby," he rasped, his free hand sliding up her thigh to toy with the hem of her dress. "You have no idea what you do to me."

Sylvia swallowed, her eyes heavy-lidded and dark with desire. "Oh, I think I have some idea," she purred, her hand drifting down to palm the bulge in his slacks.

Adam hissed, his hips jerking into her touch. "Minx," he growled, catching her hand and bringing it to his lips. He pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss to her palm, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin of her wrist.

Sylvia shivered, a needy little whimper escaping her. "Adam, please..."

And that was all it took. With a growl, Adam swept her up into his arms, the box of chocolates tumbling forgotten to the floor as he carried her towards the bedroom.
"Enough teasing," he rumbled, kicking the door closed behind them. "It's time for the main event."

He laid her down on the bed, his body covering hers and his hands already tugging impatiently at her dress. The fabric whispered against her skin as it slithered down her body, revealing the matching lingerie she'd chosen for the night.

Sylvia watched him, her chest heaving, as he took in the sight of her. His eyes darkened, his pupils dilating with lust.

"Jesus, Syl," he breathed, his voice thick with desire. "Look at those fucking tits. You're like a goddess."

Her cheeks flushed, but she felt a thrill at his crassness, his words sending a jolt of pleasure straight to her core. She knew her breasts were large, a GG cup that spilled out of her bra and drew the eyes of every man she passed, but the way he talked about them made her feel powerful, wanted.

He leaned down, his mouth closing over one dark nipple, and she gasped as he sucked, his tongue flicking against the sensitive flesh. The pleasure was intense, a sharp, sweet ache that had her arching off the bed, her nails digging into his scalp.

Sylvia felt a desperate craving for more, her body responding to his rough touches like a starved creature. She'd never felt so alive, so desired. Adam chuckled darkly against her skin, his teeth scraping over her nipple before he moved to the other, giving it the same attention.

"You like that, baby?" he murmured, his breath hot against her neck.

"Yes," she whimpered, her hips moving restlessly against the mattress. "More, Adam. More."

He obliged, his mouth moving lower, leaving a trail of wet kisses down her torso. He reached the waistband of her panties, his thumbs hooking under the lace and pulling them down, exposing her to his hungry gaze.

Sylvia felt a sudden shyness, a tremble in her stomach, but it was quickly overwhelmed by the need to have him, to be claimed by him completely.

"Spread your legs," he ordered, his voice low and commanding.

Sylvia obeyed, feeling the cool air against her damp folds as she parted her thighs. Adam groaned, his eyes lingering on her sex before he leaned down and pressed his mouth to her.

The sensation was exquisite, his tongue stroking over her clit, his teeth grazing her inner thighs. She writhed beneath him, her cries growing louder as he feasted on her.

He pushed a finger inside her, slow and steady, and she moaned, her body tightening around him. He pumped his hand in rhythm with his tongue, the sensation of his large fingers stretching her just enough to send a delicious ache through her body.

Her legs trembled as he added another finger, the intrusion feeling so good she could scream. She felt herself building up to something big, something she hadn't felt in so long.

With a final, forceful flick of his tongue, she shattered, her body convulsing as she squirted, the wetness coating his hand and face. Adam lapped at her, groaning at the taste of her, his own arousal palpable.

Sylvia's chest heaved as she came down from her high, her eyes fluttering open to find Adam staring up at her, a smug look on his face.

"Good girl," he murmured, kissing her inner thigh before standing up and stripping off his clothes. His cock was hard and ready, and Sylvia's mouth watered at the sight.

"C'mere," he beckoned her with a crooked finger, his tone a seductive purr. She slid off the bed, her legs wobbly from the intensity of her orgasm, and approached him with a predatory grace.

Her eyes were locked on his erection, and she couldn't help but nuzzle his thigh as she knelt before him, her breath hot against his skin. Adam chuckled, stroking her hair with affection. "They didn't call me Dickmaster for nothing," he said with a proud smirk.

Sylvia's heart squeezed a little at the mention of his past. She knew he had two failed marriages under his belt, but she didn't like to think about the other women he'd been with. It made her feel...less than. But right now, she was too turned on to care.

Heat flushed her cheeks, and she nodded dumbly, his words washing over her like a warm blanket. Cockdrunk, that's what she was. The way he made her feel was like nothing else in the world mattered except for him, except for this moment.

Sylvia wrapped her hand around his cock, her eyes glazing over as she stared at the throbbing length in awe. It was like holding a piece of heaven, a divine gift made just for her. She leaned in, her tongue darting out to lick at the head, savoring the salty sweetness of him.

Adam groaned, his hand threading into her hair as he guided her closer. "That's right, baby," he murmured, his eyes hooded with lust. "Take it all in."

Sylvia's eyes watered with desire as she took him fully into her mouth, her cheeks hollowing with each bob. She could feel his pulse through the velvety skin, his length sliding over her tongue as she worked him. She felt a strange sense of pride knowing she could bring him this pleasure, this powerful man who'd seen so much in his long life.

Her mind swam with thoughts of his 'breeder balls', as he liked to call them. The idea of them, so heavy and full of potent seed, made her clit throb with anticipation. She knew what he wanted from her, what he needed, and she was eager to give it to him.

Her hand slipped between her legs, her own juices slicking her fingers as she stroked herself in time with her blowjob. She was so wet, so desperate for him to fill her up and claim her completely.

Adam watched her, his eyes glued to the sight of her hand disappearing into her pussy. He was getting close, she could tell. His breath was coming in short, ragged pants, and his cock was swelling even more in her mouth.

"Fuck, Syl," he grunted, his hand tightening in her hair. "I'm gonna...I'm gonna cum."

Sylvia nodded, her eyes fluttering closed as she worked faster, her other hand now cupping his heavy balls, her thumb stroking the sensitive skin behind them. She could feel the tension in his thighs, the way his body was coiled like a spring ready to snap.

When he finally came, it was with a roar that echoed through the penthouse. Sylvia swallowed greedily, her eyes rolling back in her head as she felt the warmth of his cum fill her mouth.

As he pulled out, she licked her lips, savoring the taste of him, and then looked up at him with a satisfied smile. "Happy Valentine's Day, my love," she whispered.

Adam reached down to help her to her feet, his eyes still blazing with desire. He scooped her up into his arms again, carrying her back to the bed. "Now it's your turn," he growled, tossing her onto the mattress and climbing over her.

He slid between her legs, his cock still slick from her mouth and hand, and positioned himself at her entrance. She was so wet, so ready for him that he slid in easily, burying himself to the hilt in one swift, powerful thrust.

Sylvia screamed, the feeling of fullness overwhelming as he stretched her tight. Adam's eyes widened in surprise at her tightness, his own pleasure mirroring hers.

"Fuck, Syl," he groaned, his teeth clenched as he fought to maintain control. "You're so fucking tight."

Her nails raked down his back, her body arching as he began to move, his hips a blur of motion as he claimed her. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure crashing through her, the ache in her pussy growing with every stroke.

He pounded into her, the sound of their skin slapping together filling the room, the scent of sex and sweat thick in the air. Sylvia's eyes rolled back in her head, lost in the feeling of him inside her, her body trembling with the need to come again.

Adam leaned down, capturing her mouth in a bruising kiss as his hand found her clit, rubbing it in tight, fast circles that had her bucking against him. She felt her orgasm building, a pressure that was almost painful in its intensity.

"Come for me, baby," he urged, his voice a low growl in her ear. "Come all over my cock."

The words sent her over the edge, her pussy clamping down around him as she shuddered through her climax. Adam groaned, the sound vibrating through her chest, his own orgasm not far behind.

They collapsed together on the bed, their bodies sticky with sweat and cum. Sylvia's heart raced, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. Adam's weight was a comforting presence on top of her, his cock still buried deep inside her.

He kissed her neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin there, making her shiver. "God, I love you," he murmured, his voice hoarse from their passion.

Sylvia's heart swelled with love and lust, her hands coming up to cradle his face. "I love you too, Adam."

But they weren't done. Adam pulled out with a wet sound, rolling her over so that she was on all fours. He positioned himself behind her, his cock sliding into her slick, welcoming heat once more.

He fucked her from behind, his hand coming down to spank her ass with a crack that echoed through the room. Sylvia yelped, the sting adding to the pleasure, making her pussy clench around him.

"You like that, don't you?" he growled, his hips slapping against her ass. He knew she did, but it was hotter having her admit it?

"Yes," she moaned, pushing back into him. "Harder, Adam. I need it harder."

He obliged, his hand coming down again and again, the sting turning to a warm throb that made her clit throb in time with his strokes. She could feel another orgasm building, the tension in her body coiling tighter and tighter.

"Cum for me, baby," Adam rasped, his own orgasm approaching. "Let me feel you come all over me again."

Sylvia's eyes squeezed shut as she felt the familiar tightening in her lower belly, the coil of pleasure winding tighter and tighter. His words sent a shiver down her spine, and she couldn't hold back the whine that escaped her. "I'm close," she admitted, her voice tight.

"Good," he groaned, his hand reaching around to find her clit again, his thumb pressing down hard as he sped up his thrusts. "Come for me, Syl. I want to fill you up so badly."

And with that, she was lost. The orgasm crashed over her like a wave, her pussy spasming around his thick length as she screamed his name. Adam's own release followed quickly, his cock pulsing as he emptied himself inside her, filling her to the brim.

With a final, deep thrust, he pulled out, collapsing onto the bed beside her. Sylvia rolled onto her side, her legs sticking together slightly with the evidence of their passion. She gave him a sleepy smile, her eyelids heavy with satisfaction.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love," she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. She reached over to trace her fingers through the sweat-dampened hair on his chest.

Adam grinned, his eyes closing as he enjoyed the feeling of her touch. "Back at you, baby," he said, his voice a content rumble. He leaned in for a lazy kiss, tasting himself on her lips.

Chapter Text

Sylvia hummed cheerfully to herself as she strolled through the heavenly gardens, basket swinging from her arm. It was a perfect day - the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and she had a whole afternoon to herself while Adam was off doing whatever it was he did when he wasn't with her. Probably something manly and heroic, her dreamy hubby.

As she wandered deeper into the lush foliage, a peculiar plant caught her eye. It was a twisting, gnarled vine with vibrant purple flowers and shiny black berries. Something about it seemed oddly familiar...

Sylvia approached it, head tilting curiously. She reached out to pluck one of the berries, rolling it between her fingers. It burst, staining her skin a deep, inky blue. The color triggered a sudden sense memory, sending her hurtling back in time...

She was a young girl again, barely on the cusp of womanhood. Kneeling on a rough stone floor, naked save for the berry juice smeared in arcane patterns across her skin. Chanting filled the air, the ancient language twisting on her tongue as she recited the words she'd been made to memorize. A gnarled hand gripped her hair, yanking her head back as a cup was pressed to her lips, bitter liquid sloshing over her chin...

Sylvia gasped, dropping the berry and stumbling away from the plant. Her heart raced, breaths coming sharp and fast. 

Belladonna. It was belladonna, also known as deadly nightshade. The cult had used it in their "purification" rituals, the hallowed brew they force-fed their young acolytes to "open their minds to the divine". 

In reality, it had been little more than a hallucinogenic drug, keeping them compliant and dependent. Sylvia had spent countless nights lost in a haze of delirium, seeing visions she now knew were nothing but lies.

The memories crashed over her in nauseating waves - the sour taste of the berries, the burn of the elixir in her throat, the hands roaming her bare flesh as she lay too dazed to protest. She thought she'd escaped that life when she died, thought she'd washed away the taint of the cult with her ascension.

But here, now, surrounded by beauty and light, the ugliness of her past still found a way to rear its head.

Unbidden, her hand crept back towards the berries, fingers trembling. One taste, to chase away the ghosts, to return to that floaty place where nothing could touch her...

Sylvia dropped the remaining berries, wiping her hands on her dress as if she could wipe away the past. Tears stung her eyes as a wave of disgust and self-loathing crashed over her.

She'd thought she was making progress, moving on from her troubled mortal life. She'd embraced her role as an exorcist, channeling her rage and trauma into righteous violence against the damned. She'd found love and purpose with Adam.

But now, confronted with this reminder of her previous sins, she felt like she was backsliding. Like she was still that lost, broken girl, desperate for acceptance and willing to swallow any poison at risk of being forced to regardless, put in front of her.

Sylvia sank to her knees in the grass, hugging herself tightly as sobs wracked her body. She hated this feeling, this sense of weakness and vulnerability. She was supposed to be strong now, unshakeable in her faith and convictions.

But the ugly, painful memories wouldn't stop flooding back. The belladonna, the chanting, the hands on her body, the sickening surrender...

"I thought I was past this," Sylvia whimpered to herself, rocking back and forth. "I thought I was better now. Why can't I let it go? Why do I still feel so dirty?"

The shame and guilt clung to her like a second skin, suffocating in its intensity. She wanted Adam, wanted his strong arms around her and his gruff reassurances in her ear. But she couldn't bear for him to see her like this - weak, pathetic, tainted.

She sat alone in the garden, the belladonna swaying gently in the breeze, until her tears ran dry and her heart felt hollow.

"No!" Sylvia wrenched herself back, shaking her head frantically. Tears pricked at her eyes.

No, she was stronger than this. She wasn't that scared, broken little girl anymore. She had fought tooth and nail to become an angel, to find her place, to be worthy of her husband's love. She couldn't let the poison of her trauma drag her back down.

With a shaky breath, Sylvia turned her back on the belladonna, marching resolutely away. One foot in front of the other, spine straight, chin high. She would not let her abusers win, even from beyond the grave.

She was Sylvia fucking Dmitri, certified angel badass and the wife to the First Man himself. No stupid weed was going to undo her progress.

As the garden faded behind her, Sylvia sent up a silent prayer - for strength, for healing, for the power to keep moving forward.

And if a single tear slipped down her cheek, well, only the belladonnas would ever know.

Chapter Text

Adam sauntered up to Sylvia, who was furiously scrubbing dishes in the sink, a scowl on her face. He leaned against the counter, trying to look suave. 

"Hey baby, I've been thinking..." he began mysteriously.

Sylvia grunted, not looking up from her task. She'd had a terrible day - first the dry cleaner ruined her favorite dress, then that bitch Lute had the audacity to criticize her mace technique, and now the dishwasher was on the fritz. She was not in the mood for games.

Oblivious, Adam pressed on. "There's this girl that I just can't get out of my head lately. She's all I can think about."

Sylvia froze, a plate slipping from her sudsy hands to shatter in the sink. Slowly, she turned to face her husband, a dangerous glint in her eye. 

"Oh really?" she asked, voice dripping with false sweetness. "Do tell, darling. Who is this girl that's got you so...distracted?" Her grip tightened on the sponge, knuckles turning white.

Adam, still not picking up on the warning signs, grinned roguishly. "Oh, you know. Just the most beautiful, badass, sexy little minx to ever grace the celestial plane. An absolute goddess in the sack. I'm one lucky son of a bitch."

Sylvia saw red. How DARE he sing the praises of his side piece right to her face! After everything she'd done for him, all the demons she'd slaughtered, the sandwiches she'd made! This was the thanks she got? Being tossed aside for some floozy? 

"Well don't let me keep you from her then!" Sylvia shrieked, hurling the sopping sponge at Adam's head. He ducked, utterly bewildered. 

"Sylvie, what the-"

"Don't you 'Sylvie' me, you two-timing bastard!" she snarled, tears springing to her eyes. "I should have known I wasn't enough for you! I'm just a pathetic excuse for a wife, unable to satisfy the great and powerful Adam!" 

She collapsed dramatically to the floor, sobbing. "Go on then, leave me! I'm nothing, NOTHING compared to your perfect dream girl! I'll just waste away, unloved and alone, a shell of an angel..."

"Woah woah woah, baby, slow down!" Adam rushed to gather her in his arms, finally realizing how badly he'd fucked up. "Sylvie, sweetheart, I was talking about YOU! You're the girl I can't stop thinking about!"

Sylvia paused mid-wail, peeking up at him incredulously. "Wait, what?"

Adam stroked her hair soothingly. "Baby, c'mon. You're the most gorgeous badass I know. The way you swing that mace...unf. And don't even get me started on the things that tongue can do." He leered playfully.

Sylvia blinked, sitting up. "So...you're not leaving me for some floozy?" she asked tremulously.  

"Fuck no! You crazy broad, you're stuck with me for eternity," Adam declared, pulling her in for a kiss.

Sylvia melted against him, all thoughts of murder forgotten. She sighed dreamily as they parted. "Aw, Addy-kins. If you wanted to get my attention, you could have just said so!"

Adam rolled his eyes, chuckling. "I'll remember that next time, you psycho. I'm head over heels for you, Mrs. Dmitri. Don't you ever forget it!"

He swept her up bridal-style, making her squeal. "Now c'mon. Let's go show the bedroom wall just how crazy I am about my wife, hmm?"

Sylvia's answering grin was positively deranged. The dishes lay forgotten in the sink as Adam carried her off, determined to worship every inch of his gloriously unhinged soulmate. Just another day in paradise...

Chapter Text

I lied to all of you, I used AI to make these chapters. I tweaked them to sound better and make consistent with each other. The truth is I'm not confident in my writing and I can't do anything without scripts. I do have genuine ideas and my works do have my genuine writing. But I put my OC Sylvia in Claude and it gave me these funny and sometimes horny scenes of my OC! So I decided to copy and paste them online. 

I'M SORRY I LIED TO YOU! I KNOW PEOPLE HATE generative AI BUT I COULDN'T LIE ANYMORE! That's why I had that Belladonna chapter, I felt terrible and anxiety been going crazy for months now. 

I'm sorry! I'M A GROSS DISGUSTING LIAR! I SHOULD'VE JUST MADE MY OWN STUFF! You all deserve a better writer! I'm so sorry.

I won't take down the story for those that to continue reading but for now, goodbye.

Chapter Text

Good morning, I'm not spiraling but I am depressed. So I decided to post this. I have to get this off my chest. I feel like I'm screwed whether I do this or not.

It was nice seeing the nice comments that said they'd support me regardless. But I also did something else.

I put other people's fanfictions in the AI, I had it rewrite them so my characters (Gloria, Sylvia, Levity, etc.) would be the main characters and get with other characters (Lucifer, Adam, Alastor, etc.). Alternatively, I made AUs where one of the canon characters were genderbent and asked it to rewrite so they were female versions of themselves. This isn't the only fandom either (Miraculous Ladybug and Persona 4 Golden and 5 Royal, Royal because I wanted to make another female protagonist fic but I couldn't find any transcripts of the game).

I thought since it was private (I haven't posted any of rewrites online), I wasn't doing anything wrong (or I could keep this secret). I just thought it'd be cute or funny to see my characters in other people's spots. When it's wrong and I'm wrong for what I did. I know people feel very strongly about AI, so you all deserve a confession.

I don't know why I didn't just think to make my own fics with my OCs. I guess I thought putting them in there would just be easier. I should've sucked it up and made my own Lucifer/Gloria coffee shop AU or my own Nanny AU or my own college AU or genderbent AU instead of stealing!

I had another account where I would put two fics (both male/multi female harem) that weren't being worked on anymore in rewriter tools, remove the stuff I didn't like and then put them in Dreamily where I would add the unique stuff like I would genderbend the male character and the female characters would be replaced with male ones. No matter the fics or their authors that I didn't like, I shouldn't have done that and both fics are deleted now.

It just feels like whatever apology I could give will never be enough.

To any of you whose fics I've stolen: I'm sorry.

I am a gross and disgusting human being for what I've done.

You all deserve better.

Chapter Text

Sylvia flitted around her apartment, adjusting throw pillows and fidgeting with knick-knacks. Everything had to be perfect for Adam's first visit. She'd spent all day cleaning, hiding away anything too incriminating or obsessive. The stalker-esque shrine in the closet, the collection of purloined items (a guitar pick, a lock of hair, a used napkin), the disturbingly detailed drawings of their imagined future together - all safely tucked away from prying eyes.

What remained was a carefully curated image of carefree bohemian chic. Colorful tapestries adorned the walls, mismatched furniture artfully arranged, crystals and plants scattered about. Sylvia had even splurged on some of Adam's favorite beer and queued up a playlist of his beloved rock bands. Anything to make him feel at home, to keep him comfortable and content.

A knock at the door sent Sylvia's heart racing. She smoothed down her gauzy white dress, the fabric clinging to her bronzed skin. With a deep breath and a practiced smile, she opened the door.

"Adam!" she greeted brightly. "Welcome to my humble abode!"

Adam sauntered in, all tousled hair and devilish grin. "Humble? Babe, this place is a trip," he chuckled, eyeing the eclectic decor. "I dig it."

Sylvia preened, closing the door behind him. "I'm so glad! I wanted everything to be perfect for you." She ushered him to the couch, pressing a chilled bottle into his hand. "Your favorite, right?"

Adam blinked down at the label, a slow smile spreading. "Fuck yeah, it is. You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

Sylvia giggled, tucking a blue curl behind her ear. "You have no idea," she purred, settling beside him. Her bare thigh brushed his, electric.

As Adam sipped his beer and bobbed his head to the music, Sylvia studied him, committing every detail to memory. The sharp cut of his jaw, the golden flecks in his eyes, the way his throat worked as he swallowed. She wanted to crawl inside his skin, to possess him utterly.

But no, she had to restrain herself. Couldn't come on too strong, couldn't scare him away. She needed to be the perfect girlfriend, attentive but not clingy, enticing but not desperate.

"You seem tense, Addy," she cooed, running a hand down his arm. "Rough day?"

Adam groaned, head tipping back. "Like you wouldn't fucking believe. I swear, my bandmates are getting shittier every day with their music."

Sylvia made a sympathetic noise, fingers kneading the tight cords of his neck. "My poor baby, working so hard," she purred. "Let Nurse Sylvie take care of you."

Under her skilled touch, Adam melted, eyes drifting shut. Sylvia kept up her soothing ministrations, all the while drinking in his blissful expression, the little noises rumbling in his chest. She'd fantasized about this, about having him pliant and needy beneath her hands.

It took every ounce of willpower not to straddle him right then and there, to grind down on the growing bulge in his jeans until he was begging for her. But slow and steady, that was the game. She couldn't show her hand too soon.

And so Sylvia played the part of the doting girlfriend, fetching Adam snacks and fresh drinks, laughing at his jokes, gasping at his past extermination stories. All the while, she tucked away little tidbits of information, filing them in her mental Adam rolodex. His favorite foods, his secret fears, the sensitive spot behind his left ear that made him shudder - all precious data to be hoarded and exploited later.

By the time Adam left, loose-limbed and grinning, pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek, Sylvia was vibrating out of her skin. She closed the door and leaned against it, a manic giggle bubbling up.

He'd been in her home, on her couch, at her mercy. And soon, very soon, he'd be hers completely. All hers, forever and always.

Sylvia drifted to the closet on a cloud of obsessive glee, unearthing her most prized possession: a lock of Adam's hair, snatched from his head while he slept off their first .fuck She held it to her nose, inhaling deeply.

"Soon, my love," she whispered, eyes fever-bright in the dim light of the closet. "Soon, you'll never leave me again."

She had to be patient, to play her cards right. But in the end, Adam would belong to her, body and soul.

Chapter Text

Fade in to Sylvia and Vaggie in the training yard, Sylvia enthusiastically demonstrating a particularly brutal technique with her mace. Vaggie watches with a mix of admiration and unease.

"And then you swing up and BAM! No more sinner skull!" Sylvia uses Blueberry to slam the dummy's head clean off. She cackles maniacally, "Isn't this fun, sweetie?" she asked the moth angel.

Vaggie forced a smile, "Uh, yeah, sure Sylvia. Super...fun." she lied.

Pan to Lute and Adam observing from a balcony above. Lute's face is pinched with disapproval.

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" she asked.

"Spit it out, Lute." Adam said, not even taking his eyes off Sylvia.

Lute pursed her lips, "I must question the wisdom of allowing your wife to become so...attached to the recruit. It seems unwise to encourage such sentiment in our line of work." she said.

Adam blinked and then sighs, "Trust me, I know. I've tried talking to Sylvie about it, but you know how she gets. She's got this whole fantasy in her head about us being one big happy murder family." he explained.

Cut to Sylvia gleefully hacking at a training dummy while Vaggie looks on in horror.

"That may be, but it's not healthy. For her or for the girl. We are exorcists, not a charity for wayward surrogate children." Lute reminded.

Adam ran a hand over his face, "It's complicated, okay? Sylvie...she wants a kid. Like, really wants one. Apparently my super sperm isn't getting the job done, so she's channeling all that maternal energy into 'mentoring' Vajjie." he explained crassly.

Lute raised a judgmental eyebrow.

"Hey, you try saying no to that face! Especially when she breaks out the whole 'I'm a failure as a woman and a wife' spiel. That shit's brutal." Adam said defensively, briefly mocking his wife.

"So you'd rather indulge her delusions than deal with a few tears and tantrums? Forgive me sir, but that seems rather spineless." she said.

Adam glared something fierce at Lute, "Watch it, Lute. That's my wife you're talking about." he pointed out.

A bit of silence came before Adam loudly groaned. It was a miracle Sylvie or Vaggie hadn't hurt him.

"Look, is it ideal? No. But if playing house with Vajjie keeps Sylvia from going completely off the deep end, then it's a small price to pay." he said.

"And what about when Vaggie inevitably disappoints her? When she fails to live up to this perfect daughter fantasy?" Lute asked.

"Then we deal with it. We pick up the pieces and put Humpty Dumpty back together again, just like always." Adam said grimly.

They go back to watching Sylvia corrects Vaggie's stance, her manic grin at odds with the violence of her instructions.

"Sylvie may be batshit crazy, but she's MY batshit crazy, you know? I love her, warts and creepy dolls and all." he said, stiffly.

"As you say, sir. I still think it's a mistake, but I defer to your judgment." Lute said stiffly.

"Damn right you do. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go make sure my wife doesn't accidentally decapitate our 'daughter'." Adam said, using air quotes over the word daughter.

He vaults over the balcony, landing with a thud in the training yard. Sylvia looks up, her face lighting with deranged delight.

"Addy-waddy! Come to join our little bonding session?" she asked, cheerfully.

Adam pastes on a grin, slinging an arm around Vaggie who looks distinctly relieved for the buffer.

"You know it, baby. Gotta make sure our girl's in tip top demon slaying shape." he acted.

As Adam leads Vaggie through a less lethal drill, Sylvia watching with heart eyes, Lute shakes her head from above.

"This will end in tears. Mark my words." she muttered.

[Fade to black.]

Chapter Text

Sylvia had convinced her sisters to join her at Heaven's Cloud Nine Water Park for a girls' day. She was floating in the lazy river on a giant donut float, sipping a blue slushie, when she spotted a familiar figure by the wave pool.

"Holy..." She sat up so fast she nearly flipped her float. "Girls. GIRLS. Code Adam!"

"Code what?" Misty looked up from her book, confused.

"LOOK!" Sylvia pointed dramatically. "It's Adam! At a water park! SHIRTLESS!"

There he was, in all his dad-bod glory - swim trunks hanging low on his hips, his comfortable belly on full display, water droplets glistening on his skin. He was tall enough that he stood shoulders above most other angels, looking like some kind of magnificent pool titan.

"Oh my GOODNESS," Sylvia breathed. "Look at him. Just LOOK at him!"

"Sylvie, you're drooling," Sophia noted.

"I don't care!" Sylvia abandoned her float and started wading through the lazy river toward the edge. "I need a closer look!"

"Sylvia, no," Misty warned. "Whatever you're thinking—"

But Sylvia was already climbing out, her blue and white striped bikini dripping water everywhere. She strutted closer to where Adam was setting up his towel, completely unaware of her presence. She breathed in and blurted out:

"DAMN, HEAVEN!" Sylvia shouted. "THEY SERVING SNACKS AT THE WAVE POOL NOW?"

Adam's head whipped around in confusion.

"YEAH, YOU!" Sylvia called out, pointing directly at him. "WITH THE DAD BOD! LOOKING LIKE A WHOLE MEAL!"

Adam's eyes went wide as he recognized her. "Sylvia?!"

"THAT'S RIGHT, BABY!" She struck a pose. "Your girlfriend's here and she is LOOKING respectfully! Actually, no! I'm looking DISrespectfully! Every inch of you!"

"Oh my God," Adam actually covered his chest with his arms, his face turning golden. "Babe, there are people—"

"LET THEM KNOW!" Sylvia shouted. "That's MY man! Mine! See this magnificent specimen? TAKEN! By me! Sylvia Dmitri!"

"Please stop yelling," Adam begged, but he was fighting a smile.

"Why would I stop?! Do you SEE yourself?!" She gestured wildly at him. "You're like... like a big sexy teddy bear! I wanna climb you like a tree!"

"SYLVIA!" Adam yelled.

"What?! It's true!" She started doing a slow clap. "Round of applause for Adam's everything! The height! The width! The PRESENCE!"

Other pool-goers were staring. Some were laughing. Adam looked like he wanted to disappear into the concrete.

"Is she okay?" a concerned lifeguard asked.

"She's FANTASTIC!" Sylvia answered for herself. "Just appreciating art! Living, breathing, chunky art!"

"Did you just call me chunky?!" Adam sputtered.

"Chunky HUNKY!" Sylvia corrected. "I mean LOOK at you! You're perfect! All of you! Every pound!"

She started circling him like a shark, making exaggerated appreciative noises. "Mm-MMM! Three-sixty degrees of PERFECTION! You got a license for those love handles?!"

"I don't have love handles!" Adam protested.

"You DO and they're MAGNIFICENT!" She pretended to fan herself. "Is it hot out here or is it just my boyfriend?!"

"Sylvia, I swear to God—"

"Excuse me, sir, do you need sunscreen?" She wiggled her eyebrows. "Because I volunteer as tribute! Gotta protect all that... real estate!"

Adam buried his face in his hands. "This is harassment." he said.

"Damn right it is! The sexy kind!" She whistled (badly). "Turn around, let me see the back!"

"Absolutely not!"

"PLEASE?! I'll beg! I'm not above begging!" She actually dropped to her knees in the shallow water. "Please sir, just one spin!" she pleaded, acting like a poor old timey child.

"Get up!" Adam rushed to pull her to her feet, which meant uncovering his chest. "You're insane!"

"Insane for YOU!" She placed both hands on his chest. Adam's poor moobs were compromised. "Oh my god, you're so warm. And solid. But also soft? How are you both?! It's like hugging a sexy mountain!" she cooed, playing with them.

Adam pulled her hands down, "That doesn't even make sense!" he said.

"NOTHING MAKES SENSE WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE THIS!" Sylvia yelled happily.

From the lazy river, her sisters watched in horror and amusement.

"Should we help him?" Misty asked.

"Nah," Maggie grinned. "This is better than cable."

Meanwhile, Sylvia had progressed to poking Adam's belly. "Boop! It's like... perfect. Not too hard, not too soft. Just right. Goldilocks would choose THIS belly!"

"Please stop poking me," Adam said, but he was clearly trying not to laugh now.

"Never! You brought this on yourself by being gorgeous!" She hugged him around the middle. "My big beautiful man! All mine!"

"You're impossible," Adam muttered, but his arms came around her.

"Impossibly in love with every inch of you!" She looked up at him with heart eyes. "Wanna make out in the wave pool?"

"Sylvia!"

"What? I'm just saying what everyone's thinking!" She gestured to the crowd that had gathered. "They all want a piece of this! But too bad! DIBS!"

Adam picked her up and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "That's it. We're leaving."

"OOH, CARRY ME AWAY, BIG MAN!" Sylvia shrieked delightedly, waving at her sisters. "BYE GIRLS! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED BY A HUNK!"

"One of these days," Adam muttered as he carried her away, "you're going to be normal in public."

"Why would I do that when I could announce to the world that I'm dating the hottest angel in creation?!" Sylvia replied.

"I'm putting you in time out." he said.

"In your bedroom?!"

"SYLVIA!"

Her delighted cackle echoed across the water park, along with her continued commentary about his "magnificent muscles" and "glorious dad bod" until they were finally out of earshot.

Later, her sisters found them sharing a funnel cake, Sylvia still staring at him with hearts in her eyes while Adam pretended he wasn't pleased by the attention.

"You done objectifying me?" he asked, powdered sugar on his nose.

"Never," Sylvia said cheerfully. "You're too beautiful. It's honestly offensive. I should sue."

"For what?!" he asked.

"Emotional distress! How am I supposed to function when you exist looking like THAT?!" Sylvia continued.

Adam shoved funnel cake in her mouth to shut her up, but he was smiling.

He'd never admit it, but having someone appreciate his less-than-godly physique? Actually felt pretty good.

Even if she did it by catcalling him at a water park.

Chapter Text

HEAVEN'S SHOPPING DISTRICT - AFTERNOON

Sylvia walked through the store, her reusable shopping bag already full of her usual items—lavender soap, rose-scented lotion, her favorite vanilla candles. She was humming cheerfully, examining a new body scrub, when she remembered Adam's comment from this morning.

"Babe, why does the whole bathroom smell like a flower shop threw up? Can a guy get some normal soap that doesn't make him smell like a fucking garden?"

She'd laughed it off at the time, but now...

Oh no. Oh no, I've been inconsiderate!

Sylvia's eyes widened with realization. Adam was the FIRST MAN! He probably didn't want to use her girly products! He needed MAN things! MASCULINE things!

She spun around, scanning the store with new purpose, and that's when she saw it.

A whole section labeled "FOR HIM."

Sylvia's jaw dropped.

There were dark bottles with bold, angular designs. Soaps labeled "SPORT BLAST" and "ARCTIC FORCE." Shampoos promising "MAXIMUM CLEAN." Body wash called "LEGEND" and "CHAMPION."

And then she saw the candles.

MAN CANDLES.

"Oh my God," Sylvia breathed, her eyes sparkling. "ADAM CAN HAVE CANDLES TOO!"

She rushed over to the display, reading labels with growing excitement:

• "MAN TOWN" - Leather, Spice, and Woodsmoke
• "CAMPFIRE" - Cedar and Bourbon
• "GAME DAY" - Fresh Cut Grass and Leather
• "WORKSHOP" - Sawdust and Coffee

"This is PERFECT!" Sylvia squealed, grabbing "Man Town" immediately. "We can light candles TOGETHER! Like a couple! A comfortable couple! Me with my vanilla and him with his... spice wood musk!" She clutched the candle to her chest. "This is the most romantic thing ever!"

She started grabbing items with increasing fervor:

• "DUDE WIPES" (She gasped. "Wipes for DUDES!")
• "TACTICAL SOAP" ("Adam had some hair under his chin, but maybe he'd grow it out?)
• "MEN'S EXFOLIATING SCRUB - CHARCOAL EDITION"
• Three more man candles in different scents
• A bath mat that said "MAN CAVE"
• Dark gray towels labeled "HIS"
• Some kind of "SPORTS RECOVERY" lotion
• A soap dispenser shaped like a dumbbell

Her cart was overflowing. Her eyes were manic. She was having the time of her life.

"MY HUSBAND CAN HAVE A WHOLE SECTION!" she announced to no one in particular. "WE CAN BOTH BE COMFORTABLE! THIS IS EQUALITY!"

An elderly angel shopping nearby gave her a concerned look.

"I'M BUYING MY HUSBAND PRODUCTS!" Sylvia explained enthusiastically. "HE'S THE FIRST MAN! HE DESERVES MAN THINGS!"

She continued shopping with religious fervor, occasionally letting out little squeals of delight when she found something particularly masculine.

ADAM AND SYLVIA'S HOME - BATHROOM - LATE AFTERNOON

Adam came home from band practice, guitar on his back, ready to collapse on the couch. "Babe, I'm home!"

"IN THE BATHROOM!" Sylvia called back, her voice unnaturally excited.

Adam walked toward the bathroom, confused by the sounds of plastic unwrapping and Sylvia's manic humming.

He stopped dead in the doorway.

The bathroom had been... reorganized. Completely.

On the left side of the counter sat Sylvia's usual products—her rose lotions, lavender soaps, vanilla candles, all in their pretty pastel containers.

On the right side was... something else entirely.

Dark bottles. Masculine labels. Everything was gray, black, or dark blue. The aesthetic was aggressively male.

And in the center of it all, Sylvia stood beaming, holding up a large black candle.

"LOOK!" she announced triumphantly. "I got you MAN TOWN!"

"What?" Adam said eloquently.

"Man Town!" Sylvia repeated, shoving the candle toward him. "It's a MAN CANDLE! It smells like leather and spice and wood! I found a whole section of man products and I bought you EVERYTHING!"

Adam looked at the candle, then at the transformed bathroom counter. "You... bought me candles?"

"Not just candles!" Sylvia gestured excitedly at the display. "I got you TACTICAL SOAP! And SPORT BLAST body wash! And DUDE WIPES! And this CHARCOAL SCRUB! And look—" She pointed to the bath mat. "—it says MAN CAVE!"

Adam stared at the bath mat. "That's... actually kind of cool?"

"RIGHT?!" Sylvia's face lit up even more. "And look!" She grabbed the candle again, popping off the lid. "Smell it! SMELL THE MASCULINITY!"

Adam leaned in and sniffed. His eyebrows raised. "Okay, that actually smells good. Like... really good."

"I KNOW!" Sylvia clutched the candle to her chest. "And the best part is—now we can BOTH be comfortable! I can light my vanilla candles and you can light your Man Town candle and we can relax TOGETHER! As woman AND man! Equal but different! Complementary!"

Adam looked at his wife—hair slightly wild, eyes gleaming with manic joy, absolutely thrilled about buying him soap—and felt that weird chest-tightness again.

"You went shopping for man products... for me?"

"Of course!" Sylvia said, like it was obvious. "You said the bathroom smelled too flowery, and I realized I'd been inconsiderate! You're the FIRST MAN! You need MAN THINGS! You deserve to be comfortable in your own home!"

"Babe, I was just joking—"

"Well I'm NOT joking!" Sylvia interrupted, setting down Man Town carefully next to her vanilla candle—a perfect masculine-feminine pair. "See? Now we each have our own section! Your stuff is over here—" She patted the right side of the counter. "—and my stuff is over here!" She patted the left side. "But we're TOGETHER in the middle!"

She'd even arranged it so the candles faced each other, like they were having a conversation.

Adam couldn't help but grin. "You're insane."

"I prefer 'thoughtful,'" Sylvia corrected. She grabbed his hand, pulling him closer. "Come on, try the Tactical Soap! I want to see if it lives up to the hype!"

"It's just soap, Sylvia—"

"It's TACTICAL soap! There's a difference!" She was already unwrapping it. "It says it's 'formulated for peak performance' and has 'activated charcoal' and—oh! It's shaped like a GRENADE!"

Adam looked at the grenade-shaped soap. "Okay, that's actually badass."

"I KNOW!" Sylvia bounced on her toes. "And look at this!" She held up the bottle of body wash. "LEGEND! It says 'smell like a champion'! You're already a legend, but now you can SMELL like one too!"

"You really went all out, huh?"

"Of course I did!" Sylvia said earnestly, her blue eyes soft. "I want you to be comfortable. I want our home to be OUR home—not just mine with you as a guest. You deserve your own space, your own products, your own candles..." She smiled. "Your own Man Town."

Adam pulled her close, kissing her forehead. "You know most wives would've just told me to deal with it, right?"

"I'm not most wives," Sylvia said simply, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm YOUR wife. Which means I care about making you happy. Even if that means buying you soap shaped like a grenade."

"Best wife ever," Adam murmured.

"Damn right I am," Sylvia said, then pulled back excitedly. "Oh! And I got you THREE more candles! There's one called 'Campfire' that smells like cedar and bourbon, and one called 'Workshop' that smells like sawdust and coffee—"

"You really like the candles, huh?"

"I LOVE candles!" Sylvia gushed. "I light them when I'm cleaning, when I'm cooking, when I'm relaxing—and now YOU can light them too! We can have candle dates! We can sit on the couch with our different candles and just... be comfortable together!"

The mental image of him and Sylvia sitting on the couch, each with their own ridiculously gendered candle, was both absurd and weirdly touching.

"Alright, let's light them now," Adam decided.

Sylvia gasped. "Really?!"

"Really. I want to see if Man Town lives up to the hype."

Sylvia practically vibrated with joy, grabbing both candles and a lighter. She carefully lit her vanilla candle first, then handed the lighter to Adam. "You do the honors!"

Adam lit Man Town, and immediately the scent of leather, spice, and woodsmoke filled the bathroom, mixing with Sylvia's vanilla.

"It's perfect," Sylvia breathed, staring at the two candles like they were newborn babies. "Look at them. Together but separate. Different but complementary. Just like us."

"You're getting really philosophical about candles," Adam observed.

"These aren't just candles, Adam. They're a METAPHOR." Sylvia linked her arm through his as they stared at the burning candles together. "We can each be ourselves—you can be masculine and legendary and smell like Man Town, and I can be feminine and domestic and smell like vanilla—but we're still TOGETHER. Comfortable. Equal."

Adam looked down at his wife, who was genuinely emotional about scented candles, and shook his head fondly. "Third time's the fucking charm."

"What?"

"Nothing," Adam said, pulling her closer. "Just thinking about how lucky I am."

Sylvia beamed up at him. "So you like your man section?"

"I love my man section," Adam confirmed. "Especially the grenade soap."

"I KNEW you'd love the grenade soap!" Sylvia squealed. "Oh! And I got you a towel that says 'HIS' on it! Want to see?!"

"Absolutely."

As Sylvia dragged him to see the rest of her purchases, chattering excitedly about masculine bath products and the revolutionary concept of "man candles," Adam realized something:

He'd spent thousands of years thinking women should just cater to him without question. But Sylvia? She didn't just cater—she actively tried to understand what he wanted, what he needed, what would make him comfortable. She gave a shit.

And somehow, that made him want to give a shit back.

"Hey Sylvia?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time you go shopping, I'm coming with you. I want to get you something nice. Like... I don't know, that fancy lotion you like or whatever."

Sylvia stopped dead, turning to him with wide eyes. "You... you want to buy me lotion?"

"And whatever other girly shit makes you happy," Adam said with a shrug. "Fair's fair."

Sylvia's eyes filled with tears. "You're the best husband in the entire universe."

"Damn right I am," Adam said, grinning. "Now come on, let's go sit on the couch with our stupid candles and be comfortable together."

"BEST IDEA EVER!" she exclaimed happily.

They ended up on the couch, Man Town on the coffee table next to Sylvia's vanilla candle, the scents mixing in a way that was surprisingly pleasant. Sylvia curled up against Adam, perfectly content.

"This is nice," Adam admitted.

"Told you man candles were a good idea," Sylvia said smugly.

"You were right. Don't let it go to your head."

"Too late!"

And for the rest of the evening, they sat together—man and woman, Man Town and vanilla, comfortable and equal and perfectly matched in their own weird, intense way.

Third time really was the charm.