Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ruka gently carded through her new textbook, relaxed in the school library with her friends. This book smelled mainly like fresh ink and pressed paper, then faintly of the salt and rose scent of their teacher, who had passed them out this morning. Just his palms and fingers, and she could smell him. She liked the scent, sweet and easy. Her nose was growing more sensitive, especially to the pungent, if immature, scents of her classmates, who were presenting one by one around her. Adults learned to control things like odor, and she wished her peers would do the same. It was unseemly how her friends had not even noticed that they brushed each chair they passed as they picked spots at the table, and now their corner of the library smelled like insecure young adults. Ruka was careful where she put her hands and how she moved. She liked being around others, quietly in their presence, but she could never be so careless.

Her parents had seen to that. The first whiff of a presented classmate they caught on her, they had discussed how she had been touched (usually on the hands or shoulders) and what being scented meant now that she and her classmates were maturing. It didn’t matter if her friends did it on purpose or not. When her newly presented omega friend headbutted her shoulder, they had told her about the needs of an omega. How they needed to be protected by an alpha or a well-prepared beta, and how she needed to wait before she engaged in any type of courtship. When an alpha had brushed her shoulder in the hall, they had told her how to recognize and respond to alpha aggression, how omegas could submit without appearing available to advances, and how, again, she needed to wait. If she was prepared, her presentation could be handled with dignity.

Sanitized. That was the word for their teaching. “When you present we will explain what comes next. It depends on how you present. Until then you need to wait.” There was a tension in the air about it all, but Ruka wasn’t worried about presenting. She had been taught well enough how to control herself. It was easy, because feelings were fleeting, but actions had consequences that lasted. If she remembered that, she could always choose what to do.

So it was easy, when she felt a surge of fierceness and energy rush through her, to stand calmly. She took a deep breath. In came the scents of her friends and the teacher and the books. In her nostrils, the sweetness prickled like sugar crystal cracking between teeth. She did not instinctively sniff, or draw closer to her omega friend, who seemed suddenly startled and warm and in need of protection.

“Excuse me,” Ruka said. She turned and walked slowly to the bathroom. Her blood felt like it was overflowing her veins and pulling at her feet and sloshing around her body like a teapot filled to the brim, but that was just a feeling. She knew, though her instincts demanded she turn back and mark her territory, that her friends would be okay without her for just a minute. She knew, though her instincts insisted she would die without them, that she could blink the pricking tears from her eyes and relax. She knew, though her body was disinterested in labels at the moment, that she was an alpha in rut.

Chapter Text

“We should have known,” her mother said, combing through her hair. “Look at the way her hair catches the light.” She turned a lock in her hand, showing off the highlights in her mostly deep black hair. Some of her alpha classmates had manes that sprang contrasting colors when they presented. Her father, who was an alpha, had said that colors so bright were remnants of when the samurai insisted on only alphas being allowed in their class, and the small flashes of color meant to help alphas attract mates got, as he described it, out of hand. His own hair was subtly tipped with a color like plumskin. “You will make a wonderful alpha, Ruka, so calm and polite.”

Ruka couldn’t help but think that those would be good qualities for anyone.

Her father paced before her. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine.” She felt like being around him less now that she was in rut. His presence weighed down on her and felt suffocating, like she was competing for space and losing. It was embarrassing, too. She didn’t want to be around her parents at all right now because she wanted to be alone with her body. But he didn’t need to know that.

“That’s good. You did well to finish classes today, but I will inform the school that you will be with us until your rut ends.”

She frowned, but kept her eyes down at her lap. She wasn’t going to argue with her father.

“I’ll teach you what you need to know starting tomorrow,” he assured her, patting her head. To her mother, he added, “Leave her alone. I’m sure she’s feeling crowded.”

Ruka wanted to growl, but she didn’t. Released, she stood and scurried off.

In her own room, she speedwalked in circles and panted, working off the flurry of energy inside. She couldn’t get her parents’ scent off her hair fast enough. Digging in her hamper, she dragged out an old shirt and scrubbed their pheromones off before returning it and everything she was wearing to the basket. Her mind buzzed. She was supposed to do things, like run and puff and stand on her toes and not be alone. She would get what she could out of her system, and tomorrow she would go back to behaving.

Her father told her everything. As an alpha, it would be she who initiated courtship. She should only be looking for an omega who was caring, submissive, and well-mannered to report back to her parents. She would need to work on speaking up (politely- she was no brute) for those around her. She would not fight. She would not stand on her toes. She would not bristle or bare teeth. That was childish. She would learn how to recognize where an omega was in their cycle and how to calm them, because they were unlikely to know better, themselves. She would not touch them or bite them, and she would not let other alphas touch or bite them. Her jaw had started aching before the week was out. She made an effort not to grate her teeth as she mentally prepared for her sharp canines to grow in, and for her adolescent canines to fall out. She focused on that, because the other changes to her body were not ones she wanted to dwell on. She memorized her fathers words about how to keep clean and safe, and what to absolutely not do until her parents approved of her mate. For now she was a protector and a steward. That suited her fine. She held onto her new role as her rut faded.

“I am going to become class president,” Ruka announced. She had returned to class with a new appreciation for her freedom, and a desire to prove herself.

Her friends looked up from their lunches. Hata, her omega friend, piped up, “Is that what you want to do?”

“Yes.”

Mae, who she suspected was a beta given that she was the oldest and had not presented yet, raised a brow. “I don't know about that.”

“You would vote for me, right?” She was starting to feel defensive, but she didn't let it enter her voice.

“I would,” Mae said quickly. “But you’re…”

“I would vote for Shinjuro,” Hata blurted out. Her gaze had drifted across the room, and her cheeks had colored.

A musky, smoky scent reached her nose, and she followed her friend’s gaze.

Shinjuro was bigger than most of the others in their grade. He had shot up in height like a bamboo shoot months ago. His hair, already bright and fiery, had grown fluffier, his scent richer, and his shoulders broader. She had admired it when he was the first of them presenting. Even when he tossed his hair and pranced and preened. It had only started to bother her when the omegas started presenting, too, and started to flock him like locusts. Now he was strolling through the cafeteria, and heads were turning.

He wouldn’t draw so much attention if he controlled the scent he was giving off. It was harder to be calm when he was stealing the attention of her friends. Hata was looking at him like he was her other half.

Ruka met his eyes. They were bright, practically glowing. He froze. They looked into each other’s eyes. She fought the urge to growl. She would protect Hata from him.

He was childish. His bright hair bristled. 

Mae tugging her hair made Ruka flinch. “Stop it, Ruka. He’s going to pick a fight with you.”

She turned to Mae. “I wouldn’t fight him. You know that.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, running against him,” Hata said. She was looking down at her hands sheepishly, now.

“I would be a good leader,” Ruka ventured. “I could convince you, Hata.”

“Right, um. I need to go.” She stood and scurried off. Ruka suppressed the desire to chase her. She watched her go with a frown.

“Listen, Ruka,” Mae said, “This is because you’re an alpha, right? You want to be in charge.”

The disapproval in her voice caught Ruka off guard. “Is that wrong?”

“Yes,” she said. “Because you’ve never done that. You’re just acting like that because you presented.”

Ruka frowned. “But… That's just how I feel now. It's because I'm an alpha.”

Mae groaned. “You don’t have to change about it.”

Her cheeks burned. She looked away, and then immediately felt weak for doing so.

“Do you want to be class president?”

“Yes!” Not until this moment, maybe. She knew she was supposed to take charge. That was why she had decided on it. She hadn’t expected such a lukewarm response. She hadn’t expected to be told not to. Maybe she should have been disheartened, but now she only felt indignant.

“Well, Shinjuro has always wanted stuff like that. So of course he’s going to win. You can’t just make the fact that you can get a boner now your whole personality and expect everyone to go along with it.”

Ruka’s usual calm expression was shocked right off her face. Was that what her friends really thought about her? Didn’t growing up mean changing? Didn’t presenting mean you had a different role to fill?

Mae sighed. “Just let us know when you're out of your own head. Got it?” With that, she rose to her feet and walked out.

Mae and Ruka exchanged few words in the next few days. There was something off about her scent that Ruka’s more sensitive alpha nose was picking out, and she seemed unwilling to discuss it. Instead, she hovered around Hata whose presence was sweet and calming. Despite her lack of a vote, Hata was happy to help her reach out to her classmates.

They were in the library rereading a poster draft when Hata silently slipped an unsealed envelope over to her. Ruka glanced up at her with a raised brow and read the letter.

Shinjuro ❤️

“Hata, no,” Ruka said, firm admonishment in her voice.

Hata didn’t look at her. Her cheeks were red. “Please just… Tell me your opinion. Do you think…”

“Alphas show interest first,” Ruka said bluntly. “There’s probably too many people around for him to notice you.” She had noticed Shinjuro looking their way in class and at lunch. Every time she caught him looking at her friend, she met his gaze and held it in warning. He would bristle, just like the first time. Their staring contest wouldn’t break until someone- usually a friend or teacher- intervened.

“That’s it. If I told him, he would know and I…” She smiled dreamily.

Suddenly her sweet, fruity scent made sense. The powdery smell of deodorant could only hide it so well. “Hata.” Her voice was harsh, but without a growl. “You’re in heat, aren’t you?”

She looked up. Her eyes were watery with mortification. “He-he’d like me, don’t you think?”

This time she couldn’t hold back her growl. Hata didn’t flinch. Her brave, perfect friend really wasn’t thinking straight. Her parents had warned her about this. “It’s not safe for you around him when you’re in heat,” she hissed, leaning closer.

“Why not?” Hata objected. “It’s safe around you!”

Ruka flushed with satisfaction. I make her feel safe . The praise helped her calm down. She could talk this out. “... You know me. We’ve been friends for a long time.”

“He has friends, too. He’s nice, and strong.”

“So am I.” If Hata was hers , then Shinjuro couldn’t hurt her.

Hata frowned at her. “Y-you’re like… A sister.” she mumbled. “I don’t know, Ruka. You said that alphas act first and you never…”

She was as hurt by the clear dissatisfaction on Hata’s face as she had been satisfied with Hata’s praise. Ruka deflated. Her emotions had been up and down since she presented.

“I’m going to put it in his locker. It asks him to meet me after school.” She took her note back and held it close to her chest, fidgeting nervously. “I’m sorry, but I think you’re just jealous.”

Ruka swallowed. “I still don’t think it’s safe. He's never come to school in rut. What if he can’t control himself around you?”

“Shinjuro wouldn’t really do anything wrong, would he?” Bitter anxiety fogged her scent.

She didn’t know. Her emotions were coloring her judgement. To her, Shinjuro was a rough alpha. He pranced like he was in rut all the time, and only seemed satisfied with all the attention on him. What would he do with an omega alone? Would Hata be able to reject him in her current state? Ruka struggled to push down her worry, but she couldn’t. Carefully, she said, “I would be more comfortable if I could be… close enough to hear you if you needed help.”

To her relief, Hata nodded. “I’d like that, too.”

The light of the setting sun stretched across the desks. It was quiet, though Ruka could hear her friend’s nervous footsteps as she fidgeted in the classroom across the hall. By contrast, Ruka was leaning against the doorframe still and silent. If they waited too long, she would be missed at home. But she wasn’t going to leave Hata alone. And if Shinjuro didn’t show up… She wanted to be satisfied with that idea, but she could only be irritated by the lack of respect. Hata would be devastated. 

The tramp of running shoes cut through her thoughts. She straightened as his scent filled the hall and pooled through the door. He had been sweating. His sneakers squeaked against the floor as he stopped at the door and slowed. His sudden and loud entrance had startled Hata; Ruka could smell her apprehension, but she spoke up bravely.

“Shinjuro, in here,” she called.

“Oh… Hata.” Her name sounded awkward in his mouth. Ruka guessed he had never said it before. “I’m sorry I’m so late. I got your…” His voice fell as he entered the room. Ruka could make out that he was talking, but not what he was saying. That was for the best. If they spoke quietly, this conversation would still be private.

She crossed her arms. Hata’s response was halting, but she kept talking. Ruka wasn’t sure if she was done, or if Shinjuro interrupted her. They were so quiet. The rays of sun continued to creep over the classroom.

Hata’s whimper cut through the quiet, and shot alertness through Ruka’s spine. She straightened and looked out of the doorway just as Hata darted out. Shinjuro was a couple steps behind her, but he froze when he saw Ruka, who bared her teeth and growled. Stay away from her. The moment passed quickly. She could smell Hata’s distress, and she had to go after her. No staring contest tonight. She turned and hurried after her friend.

Ruka sniffed, relying on her nose to lead her as she followed Hata’s trail down the stairs and out the front door. The hair on her neck bristled. Had Hata left school grounds alone? It was nearly dark!

To her relief, she found Hata had veered away from the entrance and retreated to the locker room, out by the track field. Ruka found her curled up under a bench, shaking with sobs. “Hata, are you okay? What happened?” she asked, crouching beside her.

Hata threw herself into Ruka’s arms, much to her surprise. The words came out between gasps and sobs. “He doesn’t like me!” she whimpered. The sound stabbed at Ruka’s heart. Burying her face in Ruka’s chest, she cried, “he rejected me! He must think I’m so stupid!”

“No, no, he doesn’t think that,” Ruka soothed, stroking her hair. She fought to keep calm. Her friend’s distress was threatening to drag her into hysterics, too. She blinked tears out of her own eyes. She needed to make her feel better. She couldn’t see Hata like this. “He just doesn’t know what he’s missing. He’s just a stupid alpha boy. You’ll feel better once you’re home.”

But it was a while before Hata could compose herself enough to walk. Ruka practiced her comforting croon, and eventually she supported her as they walked home together. She was closer to Hata than she had been since she presented, holding her, comforting her, smelling her distress and heat. She had to quash her body’s reaction to it, and was proud of herself that she could easily swallow the feelings for Hata’s benefit. 

By the time she stopped at Hata’s home, Hata had relaxed. Her lingering pain had faded to melancholy. “Will you be okay? Your moms will help you?”

Hata sniffled and nodded, eyes down. “Th-thank you, Ruka,” she murmured.

“Of course.” Ruka tucked her hair out of her face. “Goodnight, Hata.”

Once Hata was safely home, Ruka’s protective energy turned to angry energy. How DARE Shinjuro hurt Hata like this? She ran the rest of the way home, hoping to burn off the energy. When she got home, her father lectured her about the close contact with an omega and staying out late. She fought the urge to snap, knowing he was right. Holding her tongue, she retreated to her room.

Her mother gently knocked on the door. “Ruka, are you alright? … May I come in?”

Ruka sprawled on her bed, face down on her pillow. “Yes, mother.”

She stepped inside and sat down beside her. Stroking Ruka’s hair, she said, “I’m proud of you for protecting your friend, my dear.”

Ruka looked up from her pillow. She couldn’t keep the pout off her face. “Why didn’t Shinjuro like Hata?”

She smiled crookedly. “Do you like Hata? As a mate?”

Ruka narrowed her eyes and buried her face back in her pillow with a groan.

“You’ll find an omega who suits you. And she'll find her alpha. Be patient.” When Ruka didn’t respond, she leaned over and kissed the top of Ruka’s head. “You did well today. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” With that she rose, her footsteps retreated, and the door closed softly behind her.

I still didn’t do enough, Ruka thought, swallowing frustration.

The next morning, Ruka’s frustration simmered quietly at the back of her mind. She dressed, went to school, met Hata and Mae on the way there. A normal morning, normal classes, normal lunch. She still felt angry heat rise up  in her face when she spotted Shinjuro across the cafeteria, but he had the sense to look away first. 

Hata was resigned and sad, but she was strong. Each day passed, and she got a little less sad. Her enthusiasm returned by the end of the week. Even Mae joined in helping Ruka with her campaign.

It almost felt like it used to as they sat around in the library working on her speech. Ruka wiggled her second loose adolescent canine with her tongue as she thought. The other adult canine had grown long and sharp, dislodging the first and waking her with a bloody pillow that morning. She tried not to think about her loose tooth falling out while she addressed the class.

“I think you should take out this line,” Mae said, tapping the words on the paper: As an alpha, you are my pack, and it’s in my nature to lead you.

Ruka frowned at the paper. “... Alright.” She erased it and brushed the eraser shavings off the page. “What about…” She reached for something truer. “What about this?” She rewrote it: As an alpha, I see you as my pack. I’ll show you that I can lead you.

“I like that better,” Mae agreed, offering a tentative smile.

The day came. The teacher stood. “Okay, class, let’s select our class president. Ruka and Shinjuro have both expressed interest.” 

Ruka stood, heart pounding. “I wrote a speech.”

“We’ll listen if the class is divided. You are both suited, so let’s vote, and then we can return to class matters.”

Ruka pressed her lips into a thin line, swallowing indignation.

“Those who would like to vote for Shinjuro, raise your hands.” Ruka watched the teacher’s eyes bounce from student to student as she counted. She had heard the hands go up. It sounded like a lot. 

The teacher confirmed. “That’s well over half. It looks like Shinjuro will be our president.”

Her hands curled into fists on her desk. She looked at him, standing tall and proud. All my work was for nothing?

Shinjuro smiled at her, his eyes shining.

For once, her hair stood.

“Ruka.” The teacher admonished. “Don’t be a sore loser.”

Ruka cringed and wrenched her gaze away. “I am sorry.” The words tasted sour, but she did her best to sound sincere. She turned to Shinjuro and bowed curtly, but she couldn’t find it in herself to politely bare the side of her neck in submission. “I am sure you’ll be a great president.” Hastily, she sat back in her seat. Her cheeks burned. The simmering frustration had turned to outrage. But she wouldn’t snap here. She couldn’t.

The teacher started speaking, getting back to class. Ruka turned to her notebook, intentionally writing neat and bold. She rewrote her note twelve times before she could relax. The glands at her wrists, usually so controlled, scented the paper thoroughly as her hands passed over it. He better know who it was from:

Shinjuro, meet me behind the school at the end of the day.

Ruka took slow, deep breaths with her eyes closed to keep calm. The sun was still high. Behind the school was a swath of grass, far enough away that no one could tell what they were doing from the track field. She had sent Mae and Hata home together; there had been no resisting her authoritative croon. Either that, or the possessive, strong musk that she couldn’t keep in had frightened them enough to send them running home. She would figure that out tomorrow. For now…

His smoky scent reached her nose. It was peppered with harsher tangs of excitement and nerves. She opened her eyes to leer at him. “You’re not late.”

Shinjuro smiled humbly at her, not showing too much teeth, but still provoking her combative instincts. “I try not to be.”

“Are you that excited to fight? You didn’t show up early for Hata,” she accused, stepping forward.

He blinked, eyes widening innocently. “That wasn’t on purpose,” he said hastily. He stood his ground as she stepped closer. The bitter notes of nervousness in his scent heightened. “I’m sorry, Ruka-”

Ruka bristled. She didn’t want excuses. For the first time, she snarled, lips curling over her teeth and nose wrinkling. “If I beat you, you’ll step down.”

Owlish, he stared. He was leaning back as she crowded him. She could feel the warmth off his body, smell his rich, ashy musk, but he refused to step away. His eyes glowed and his cheeks reddened as he looked down at her. “Okay…?”

Ruka lunged at him. His body was like a wall; it was disorienting to crash into him. Too fast, the world spun. Then her back was on the ground and he was straddling her waist. She reeled and tried to strike with open hands. He caught her wrists and pinned them in the cool grass. She writhed, growling and hissing insults, but Shinjuro was a rock.

When she stilled, panting in exhaustion, he leaned close and snapped his teeth right next to her ear. “I win,” he whispered, voice husky.

The humiliation of defeat seeped into her limbs. Her head fell to the side, baring her neck. Her body went limp. She withered, her anger died. This was stupid. So stupid. And now he had beaten her without a doubt. It was as bad as the election.

Shinjuro stood slowly and extended a hand.

Taking it was the mature thing to do. His hands felt warm and a little sweaty.

Before the quiet could get too awkward, Shinjuro cleared his throat. “That was… pretty brave of you.”

She looked down at the ground, swallowing her disappointment. If he was that good a fighter, then of course he could say something so prideful.

“I messed up with your friend, um, Hata. I’m sorry I just… I like someone else,” he mumbled.

She finally ventured to look at him again, though she couldn’t meet his eyes. He didn’t look overly satisfied or smug. It was like their poor excuse for a fight had never happened.

Except she stunk with defeat.

“Um,” Shinjuro swallowed. “Maybe I could… teach you to fight?”

Her gaze snapped up, irritable and defensive. “Teach me?”

He cringed. “My family. We’re… we were samurai. We still learn.”

“Oh.” Ruka took a breath. She really needed to get ahold of her emotions. She was going to get in trouble for today. Her uniform was grass-stained, and she smelled like another alpha and defeat.  She wondered if her parents knew about the Rengoku family and their archaic practices. “I… will think about it.”

Shinjuro scuffed the ground with his foot and looked down, trying to appear casual. “I mean it. I, uh. Think you're a very…dignified alpha.”

Dignified. Ruka rolled the compliment around in her head. She liked that. It was a small consolation. “I'll tell you what I decide.” She turned and marched off.

Ruka tried to slink to her room undetected, but her parents both straightened at the table as soon as she opened the door. “Ruka!” her mother gasped, hurrying over. She caught Ruka’s face in her hands and tilted her head up and to each side, looking for marks. “Did someone attack you?”

“No, I’m okay,” Ruka murmured.

“What is that?” Her father marched over, shooing her mother away. “What happened?”

Ruka averted her gaze. “I fought… another alpha,” she said. “I was angry. It was a mistake.”

Her father frowned. “You know better, Ruka,” he said quietly. “You’re lucky no one was hurt. That is not how a proper alpha behaves.”

Ruka nodded, but she was confident that her lack of injury had nothing to do with luck. Shinjuro had been careful. “I’m sorry.”

“Your actions must match your words,” he said firmly. “If you can’t control yourself, we will have to take more time away from school to train you.”

She blanched. The response was telling, and she quickly regained herself and acted on the revelation. “That’s okay. I was actually invited to a meeting for newly presented alphas.” This was technically true. “I would like to go to that to practice being around alphas that I am not related to.”

Her father chuffed. “... They have measures to prevent this? ” He gestured to her entire person. Ruka knew he meant her lack of control, and not all of her.

“Yes.” She assumed Shinjuro had something in mind.

He considered. “... If you behave for the next week, then I will allow it.” He placed a hand on Ruka’s head, scenting her. “Now go bathe.”

Chapter Text

The week passed quickly. Their meeting rushed toward Ruka, but she did not balk. When it was up, she slipped her note into Shinjuro’s locker matter-of-factly. She had a plan. She had changed into her gym clothes, and she would shower in the locker room after their sparring. Her parents would be at ease and she could vent. She curled and uncurled her fingers eagerly. She would stick to her plan and not question it.

When that smoky scent reached her nose she immediately turned to face Shinjuro, lip curling over her teeth.

He smiled and put up his hands. “Wait, it's just me.”

“I know it's you. I would never growl at anyone else,” she said.

Shinjuro blinked in surprise. He shifted on his feet, smile faltering, and moved on. “So… I'll need to teach you how to fall safely and challenge first.”

She watched him demonstrate several kinds of falls- dropping and rolling and tumbling over the grass. He was attentive, explaining what he was doing and how. He was also distinctly self-centered, tossing his hair and puffing his chest with each rise and fall. It was so easy for him. He didn't care how dirty his uniform was and he wasn't at all afraid of hitting the ground.

Ruka wasn’t certain she could commit to this now that she was seeing it. Her heart beat harder. Her parents would not like her fighting or getting dirty. She wasn’t supposed to be drawn to wrestling another alpha.

But when he perked up and looked up at her expectantly, Ruka had to follow through. What would he think if she ran away? She was the one who invited him! Alphas must stand by their word. She mimicked his rolls and tumbling. Shinjuro crouched beside her offering praise and corrections with each attempt. 

She half expected the rolling to hurt, but the grass was soft and springy. It felt cool against her skin. The sensation was a relief when activity and praise warmed her up. She had expected to feel judged with another alpha’s eyes on her, but his words were easy to take; he was watching how her body moved with focus and thought, not disdain. It wasn’t completely unchallenging, though. There was hunger, too, in the way his eyes shined when he thought she wasn’t looking. It made her itch with the same indignation she had turned on him when they fought.

“That’s good,” he finally said as she landed one of her tumbles. He knelt in the grass beside her. “When you hit the ground, you want to land with care like that. And you want to put opponents on the ground like that, too. Now for fighting… there are things to avoid, like drawing blood, leaving scars, or doing permanent damage.” He held up his hands. His nails were shorter than hers, round and blunt. Her own nails were cut neatly, but somewhat longer and shinier. Her mother said they showed her good diet. “You wouldn’t scratch or punch, for example. The goal is to immobilize with your own weight- or, if,” he stammered a bit, gaze flickering down at her face, and then to his own feet. “If you’re lighter, you know, smaller, you have to catch limbs or threaten vitals.”

“Threaten,” Ruka echoed, fighting to keep the growl out of her voice. She would grow bigger. Not as big as him, probably, but she was still an alpha.

“Most alphas will freeze instinctively if there are teeth at their throat. There are pheromones in breath, and sounds like teeth clicking together so close to your ears will make people pause. Betas and omegas would recognize that, too.” Seeing her staring, he added, “You wouldn’t bite someone during a fight.”

“I know that,” she said. She knew not to bite. The rest of that? Well she knew about pheromones. How they affected other alphas was new, and she had never even considered betas. “What are the other vitals?”

“There are pressure points.” He touched the spot where his shoulder met his neck with one hand. His other hand touched the softness of his body, above the widest point of his pelvis before moving to tap his inner thigh. “Spots that will bleed a lot, or risk rupturing a vital organ if you injure them. Alphas will freeze up if you apply pressure to one or two. Obviously you don’t want to actually hurt them, but the point is to show that you could, the same way you are showing that you could put someone on the ground when you pin them.”

She nodded, fascinated. The words slipped from her lips not as a judgment, but as an observation: “It’s so violent.”

“No,” Shinjuro said quickly. “No, it’s like playing. Haven’t you ever wrestled with your parents?”

Ruka was unconvinced, but she did take a moment to think. A memory came through hazily, of her father scooping her up and rolling with her while she squealed in delight. “... Maybe,” she conceded. “But that was different. That wasn’t between alphas. I was a child.”

“It’s not different,” he insisted. A whine had entered his voice despite what she expected were his best efforts. “The only difference between you and me is that my parents never stopped, and now I’m better at it.”

She narrowed her eyes at his jab. But he was right, so she couldn’t object.

“It’s not childish,” he argued.

“I didn’t say it was.” She was thinking it. But nevermind that. “Show me how to do it.”

Some of the tension in his features eased, but he was still a tad wary. “I’m not going to attack you without warning,” he disclaimed. “So just show me what comes naturally when you see me do this, okay?” He stood, and gestured for her to stand with him, extending a hand. When they were both on their feet, he took a step back. Then he dropped his weight lower, a slight bend at his knees and a forward lean to his top half. The sudden drop fluffed his hair, and it stayed puffed when he fixed her with an intense look.

She felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle, and a growl build in her throat. Her heartbeat sped up in her chest. Ruka immediately turned to what she had learned to control herself: slowing her breathing, flattening her hair, tensing and relaxing muscles in turn to ease the pressure inside her.

But that didn’t feel at all natural. She knew that wasn’t what he was asking for. And, even more surprisingly, it wasn’t what she wanted. A surge of relief washed through her when she let herself drop into a mirroring crouch. Everything fell easily into place: the hair rose, a quiet growl rippled in her throat, and her muscles tensed and relaxed into place just like she knew, deep down, they were supposed to. 

Shinjuro had been watching and, suddenly faced with an opponent instead of a student, his eyes widened. His pupils dilated. He grinned a playful, toothy smile. “That's a great challenge pose. I guess it's all instincts. Here I come.” And then he pounced 

This wasn’t like the first time. She felt a rush, and the memories of playing with her father as a child came back in sentiment. He didn't put her down immediately this time. Ruka gave it her all, hardly aware of anything but their straining against one another.

Even with him showing restraint, it couldn't have been long before Shinjuro pinned her: hands on her wrists, straddling her hips. He hadn't broken a sweat, but she was gasping for breath. She knew he had won, but the disappointment wasn't nearly as disheartening.

Shinjuro bounced up, face flushed with victory, and extended a hand. “That was good. You learn fast.”

She felt the praise more than she heard it. Just good words, good feelings. She caught his hand and climbed to her feet. Any conflict she had been feeling about this meeting dissolved. She had to pace a circle around him, calming her excitement, before she said, “Show me how to do what you did.”

Ruka was pleased to find that her parents were not alarmed by her late arrival. They knew she had a meeting, but if she smelled like an alpha she had fought before, she expected they would be upset. Her shower in the locker rooms had been successful. “Good evening,” Ruka greeted.

Her mother was setting plates. “Welcome home, my dear,” she purred. “Did you enjoy your meeting?”

Ruka nodded. “I’ll clean up for dinner.”

Her father, who was at the kitchen stove, came over and pet her head to scent her. She was relieved that she had dried her hair thoroughly. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “You can tell us about it at dinner. Go get ready.”

“Alright.” She hurried off to her room to wash up and change. She appreciated the time to collect her thoughts. She couldn’t share everything she and Shinjuro were doing, but she wouldn’t lie, either.

By the time she settled at the table, she was prepared. Their conversation was relaxed and casual until finally, her mother said, “So what did you do at your alpha meeting?”

She smiled. “We talked about how to de-escalate conflict. There are pheromones in your breath and pressure points that can make someone aggressive freeze.”

“Your breath,” her father scoffed. “You should be able to produce calming pheromones without having to breathe on someone. I’ll teach you how, and you’re going to practice every night.”

Ruka nodded, swallowing. “I… also learned to identify aggressive and playful body language in other alphas.”

“Ruka,” her mother put in, “Did you learn about omegas at all?”

“I… Our pheromones can affect omegas, too. And betas.”

“But did you learn about reading omega body language? Alphas should know those things.”

She flattened her lips into a thin line, trying to figure out what she could say to please her.

“We’ll have to teach you that, too,” her father said. “But we knew we would.”

“My meetings are about what it is to be an alpha,” Ruka said carefully. “But I’ll try to bring up other presentations.”

Her mother considered that. “... I suppose that makes sense, but I really hope that it doesn’t pull your focus away from what you’re already learning.”

“It won’t,” Ruka promised.

“Are there any omegas you like?” Her father asked.

“... Not yet,” she answered witheringly.

Her father clicked his tongue and exchanged a look with her mother. “This club is fine for you… recreationally. But it looks like it isn’t very educational.”

“I’ll see if there’s anyone I can introduce you to,” her mother said, reaching over to hold her face and stroke her cheek with her thumb. “We’ll find an omega you like.”

Mae brushed through Ruka’s hair. Their homework was scattered around them in Mae’s room. Mae was resting her chin on her notebook, and Ruka’s head was laid over their textbooks between them as she looked up at the ceiling and savored the sensation. There wasn’t much studying getting done. They were just relaxing in each other’s company.

“Ruka,” Mae murmured.

“Yes?”

“M’sorry about snapping at you when you school started and you presented. I know you were excited about it.”

“It’s alright,” Ruka said without a second thought. She had practically forgotten about their fight, as shocked as she had been when it first happened. There was just too much on her mind, now. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Being a beta is… It’s hard.” She swallowed. “I don’t like it. It feels like no one even knows what to say when I tell them what I’m going through.”

Ruka opened her mouth, but she didn’t know what to say, either. Mae’s parents were an alpha and an omega. Her own parents had only taught her about alphas and omegas. “What is it like?”

“The worst part is… I bleed every month.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

“Bleed?” Ruka tensed. That can’t be normal. Was that the scent she had caught on Mae at school? Blood?

“You think I’m gross, don’t you?” Mae whimpered, drawing her hand back.

“What?” Ruka sat up and twisted to look at her. “No, no, Mae. I’m just… I’m worried. I didn’t know about that. I’m sorry.”

Mae dropped against her chest, sniffling. Her distress was pungent. Her body was tense. 

Ruka couldn’t stop her own body from reacting; she felt herself bristle, she felt her blood rush. She wanted, desperately, to eliminate what was making her friend feel this way. She wrestled that feeling into submission and took a few deep breaths. Her father’s latest lesson on calming others came to her, and she focused on pushing her scent out like an aura, working to calm Mae, too. When she was certain she had control of her pheromones, she stroked her friend’s hair. “It’s okay, Mae. There are lots of betas. You’ll find someone who understands you.”

Mae’s muscles relaxed. She shifted against Ruka, burrowing into her embrace. The scent of her distress faded, and her breathing slowed. They sat quietly while she regained her composure. It felt like just a moment before she started to uncurl, her breaths even. “Th… thank you, Ruka,” she murmured. Her eyes were red, but no longer watery as she looked up at Ruka. She reached out and hesitantly touched Ruka’s cheek.

Ruka offered her a small smile, relieved that this had worked so thoroughly. If she had known how to do this for Hata, things would have been much easier. She was grateful to be an alpha. Pressed with the sudden urge, she leaned in and nuzzled Mae’s cheek.

Mae froze. Her scent changed, ripening. 

Ruka drew back slowly, cheeks reddening. She realized she was still pushing her own pheromones, and they had changed, too. The girls hastily untangled, and Ruka pulled her knees to her chest. “S-sorry.” 

“Let’s get back to work,” Mae said, flushed.

Ruka nodded, and averted her gaze to her books. Her body slowly relaxed. As they worked, she gave Mae a second look. She didn’t know where her feelings had come from, because they didn’t rise up again.

By the time of her next meeting with Shinjuro, Ruka was relieved to have the outlet. They got right into wrestling, pausing for him to demonstrate a technique for her once in a while. They were taking a break, drinking from their water bottles, and sitting on the grass when Ruka leaned back on her hands. She examined Shinjuro. His head was tilted back as he drank, exposing his neck. His adam’s apple bobbed with each gulp. Tracing the curve of his jaw, she felt that same sensation she had with Mae. She averted her gaze and controlled her breathing. Presenting made normalcy difficult, it seemed. “Hey Shinjuro?”

He released the bottle and took a deep breath. “Yeah?”

“Have you ever been with an omega? Or a beta. I guess.” He was popular. Alpha urges weren’t a secret. This isn’t weird to ask.

But she quickly realized from his silence, and the russety scent that colored him, that this wasn’t the type of thing he found normal. “Ah,” his voice cracked in his throat, and he coughed on nothing.

“Sorry. You don’t have to tell me.” She swallowed her mortification.

“It’s not- um. No,” he admitted. “No. I haven’t been with anyone.”

She looked up at him. She was embarrassed, yes, but relieved, too. He was redder than she had ever seen anyone. She and her peers had been blushing a lot lately. Presentation was truly an awful time. “I haven’t either.”

He took a deep sigh, apparently relieved. “Is…”

“What?” Ruka tilted her head at him. She had asked one vulnerable question. He got one too. That was fair.

But Shinjuro quickly looked away again. He changed the subject in a ramble. “Nevermind. You said earlier we had to try to be more… Educational? And your parents didn’t want to hear about sparring.”

Ruka took a moment to reorient. This was probably a more appropriate topic, anyway. “Yes. My father has been teaching me about pheromones, and how to manipulate them. Do you know anything about that?”

He leaned back on his hands thoughtfully. “I know about that, but… I’m not so good at it. It’s a little easier if you rub your wrists together.” He tilted his palms up.

“I didn’t know that,” she admitted. It made sense, with the wrists being a spot where there were some significant glands. She reached out and took his wrist, running her thumb over the gland. It spread his scent, and she breathed it in. When he wriggled, she asked, “Does that tickle?”

“A little.” He didn’t pull away, though, only watched her fingers. 

“Do you know much about omega body language?” she ventured, releasing his wrist.

“No.” He looked uncomfortable again, but not nearly as uncomfortable as he had when asked about dating. “Not really.”

She raised a brow. “No?” Alphas were supposed to know about omegas. They needed to take care of them.

Sensing her incredulity, he hurried to amend, “I mean- I can tell by smell if they’re relaxed, or afraid, or interested in me…”

“But when you have a mate, you’re supposed to know more than that.” There were more things one could tell by scent, but sight was faster, and deciphering someone took both.

He ran a hand through his hair, apologetic.

“Shinjuro, I thought you said you liked someone,” she accused. How could he be so ignorant of his potential mate’s needs?

He couldn’t meet her gaze. “I just know omegas are really fragile.”

“You think you’d be too rough,” she acknowledged. She thought back to their fights. She couldn’t imagine Hata enjoying their sparring.

“Maybe not to watch.” He blinked, as if remembering something just that moment. “Omegas like that, watching sparring.” Her face must have shown her doubt, because he added, “No, really. Sparring shows off your strength, right?”

“I think it would scare them.” As far as she was concerned, immature alphas (including herself and Shinjuro, she guessed) fought to feel tough and to dominate one another. That was why she had fought him in the first place, after all: she saw the class as her territory, and Hata as hers. That didn’t explain why she was sparring with him now, of course. It was clear she wasn’t winning. At best, she was stroking his ego. She put the thought out of mind. “Omegas get stressed easily. That’s why alphas produce strong pheromones: to calm their mate. If a pregnant omega is stressed, they reabsorb the pup.”

Shinjuro stared in horror. 

Ruka wondered if this transition was a natural or appropriate one.

“Um,” Shinjuro ventured. “I don’t think alphas… or betas do that,” he shared tentatively.

Now it was Ruka’s turn to be taken aback. She guessed betas could carry children. Thanks to her experience with Mae, she was willing to admit there was a lot she didn’t know about them. However, a pregnant alpha seemed unnatural. How would that work? She was almost afraid to ask. She had heard about the samurai and their all-alpha class. She had assumed the logistics were different. Her nose wrinkled. That was wrong , wasn’t it? She thought disgust would hit her at any moment, but instead, she was just confused.

When her attention returned to Shinjuro, he was frowning uncertainly.

Ruka didn’t feel comfortable dwelling on this. She retraced her steps in the conversation, looking for something acceptable to bring up. “Why do you spar?” she asked. “You haven’t done it in school where anyone can see.”

“... Why do you?” Shinjuro deflected.

Ruka shrunk. Of course she had considered this. She had thought about what she would tell her parents if the truth came out: that she was just venting with another alpha who felt the same way. She knew this wasn’t exactly true, though. If she were just venting, she would always be trying to get a certain emotion worked out. Sometimes, sparring wound her up. It made her feel energetic, excited, and happy. She wasn’t supposed to feel that way, so it was with shame that she answered, “I… like it.”

Shinjuro offered one of his gentle, tentative smiles. “Me too.”

Chapter Text

As their meetings continued, Ruka had several considerations.

The first she had known since her parents questioned what she had learned in her first meeting: the purpose of these rendezvous needed to remain hidden from them. Thus she tried to work on making their discussion as educational as possible. It just wasn't easy. While Shinjuro and Ruka spoke about things besides fighting, their topics were casual: homework, hobbies, favorites like foods and colors, and things like that. She was usually the one sharing knowledge about omegas, while he seemed strangely hesitant to share anything more about alphas or betas. At first she thought he was ignorant, but that idea was quickly disproven when, if she reported something incorrectly, he would speak up with confidence.

This led to the second issue. Shinjuro was hiding things from her. She had a suspicion that, were she more perceptive, she would be able to tell what , but as things were, she was just left frustrated. He seemed truly clueless about omegas, but he had known things that even she didn't know about alphas when this started. Why had he started playing dumb? She wanted to tell him that her feelings were hurt by his obfuscation, and that it made explaining this to her parents that much harder. But she was unwilling to trust him with that vulnerability if he was just going to hide things from her. 

The last issue followed the second closely. When would she tell her friends about this? She needed to trust Shinjuro if she was going to bring him near Hata, who he had already hurt. They were starting to wonder why she wasn't walking home with them on some days, and she couldn't expect them to leave her alone forever. She didn't want them to discover this without a full explanation.

It turned out that the thing she should have been most worried about had hardly crossed her mind.

Ruka shivered awake. A phantom scent was in her nostrils, and a growl in her throat. She took a moment to catch her breath. That dream was… inappropriate. She couldn’t remember the details, just the wanton essence. She was relieved that the smells and images did not stick around long enough for her to identify. Musky, tangy sweat of arousal dampened her sheets, but nothing else. This could have been worse, she observed. She sprang out of bed, overcome with a desire to move and get her blood flowing anywhere but where it was. 

She was still stripping the mattress when there was a knock on the door. Ruka bristled, jumping to her tip-toes. Snarling, she darted to the door and flung it open.

“ Ruka, ” her father admonished.

She should have shrunk and submitted, but she couldn’t. Her blood was still raging. “Yes?” she questioned, standing straight.

He looked past her at the balled up bedding. Ruka intercepted his field of vision, embarrassed and indignant. “Stay out of my room!” she growled.

“You’re in rut again,” he observed. “That is no excuse to be disobedient.” 

Ruka grit her teeth.

“Step aside.” He fixed her with a look.

She swallowed. Her neck was tense, but she forced her head down and backed out of the doorway, skin itching. This was wrong. No one should be in her territory. Her room was the only place that was hers. And then her father observed her sheets and her bare mattress with disapproval, and she felt sick with humiliation. 

“We need to find you a suitable mate. That will get this under control.”

Ruka's nausea worsened. She wanted to argue that she hadn't done anything, but maybe she did. Maybe that dream was more damning than she thought. “I'm sorry,” she rasped.

“You will stay home today,” he decided. “You can return when you're in full control of yourself.”

Her gaze flew up in shock, but his leer made it fall again. Her face felt hot and her eyes stung. Being like this around her parents was unbearable, and her friends would miss her. What if they worried? What if they thought she was mad at them? What if she missed her meeting with Shinjuro? Her chest tightened with anxiety. Last time she was in rut, at least she had her room. She could pace and puff and destress. This time, her father had made it clear that, like every other part of the house, it was his. She was cornered. Crowded. Trapped. 

But if she didn't behave, she would have to spend the whole cycle like this, so she didn't argue.

Ruka spent the day struggling to sit still while her father lectured her and gave her busy work and only enough free time to complete it. It was more rigorous than school, and had none of the positives- except the meals, though she didn't have the appetite to appreciate them to the fullest. Her father always held his cooking in high esteem. Any alpha should be able to provide a good meal, he had explained. That was an important aspect of courtship.

Ruka asked the right questions and said the right answers and suppressed the right emotions. She also planned to wake up early the next morning, so she could clean her bedding secretly, if she had to. She wasn't going to risk her freedom on a wet dream.

She woke with relief to clean sheets. Regardless, Ruka tidied up around her room, which was already neat, and slowly opened the door. As soon as the door cracked, she was struck with a saccharine odor that clung to her throat. Sweat beaded on her forehead, and her muscles tensed. I know this scent. But it was so much stronger now. It was tugging at her instincts hard, but she didn’t like the direction it pulled. It squeezed her chest, and she opened her mouth to suck in a breath. She could taste the sweet stench. Slamming the door closed, she retreated into her room, backing up until the back of her knees hit the bed and buckled.

Her father knocked on her door sometime later. When he opened the door, the scent had been almost entirely covered in spray deodorant, but she could still detect sugary whisps. “Good morning, Ruka.”

She was still sitting on the end of the bed. Her father’s usual musk helped her relax; she felt a little less crazy. “Good morning,” she echoed, wiping the sweat off her brow.

He observed her state, and decided it didn’t require correction. “We had planned to introduce you to someone today, but we needed to reschedule.”

“Because they went into heat,” she acknowledged.

A nod. “Yes. How are you feeling? I see that you did not overreact.”

Her heart still fluttered when she caught a faint whiff, but the rest of her body was cooperating. “I feel… Okay. I was just surprised.”

“Very good. It can be overwhelming the first time your cycle happens to match someone else’s. Your mother will introduce you two when you’re less affected.” With more than a hint of pride, he added, “It seems you can control yourself. The poor omega, not so much.” He observed her for a moment longer, considering. “Well, get up and get ready. I’ll make breakfast.”

She breathed a sigh of relief and slunk out to head to the bathroom. She bathed quickly, deodorized generously, and was out before long, feeling better as time passed. Both parents joined her for breakfast, and they exchanged looks before her father announced, “Well, you should get your things together for school.”

Relief rushed through her, her eyes widened. “Thank you,” she said, hopping up from her seat. She hurried off to get her things together, while her mother giggled behind her.

The sense of ease that came over Ruka when she left the house completely made up for the day inside. She hurried to a trot, hoping to meet up with her friends before classes started. She slowed and straightened her uniform as soon as she saw Hata at the corner where they usually met. “Hi, Hata!” she greeted.

Hata had been about to cross, but she turned when she heard Ruka. “Ruka!” she perked up and bounced forward to meet her. “You’re back! Did you get… You’re in rut!” she identified.

Ruka smiled sheepishly and reigned herself in. Her deodorant ought to work if she contained herself. “Yes, but I am alright.”

“You smell so good,” Hata purred, taking her arm. She leaned into Ruka’s side, beaming. “I’m so happy you’re back. Mae will be excited, too.”

Her lips twitched at the edges of her smile. She let it fall from her face to avoid any risk of flashing her fangs. “I’m happy to see you, too. What did I miss?” As Hata chattered on about the previous day, Ruka watched out for Mae and did her best not to feel pressured by the weight of her friend leaning on her side.

“Mae!” Ruka was the one to spot her first.

Mae, coming around the corner, blinked and smiled as she strolled toward them. When she was closer, she said, “Ruka, you’re back. What happened?”

“She’s in rut,” Hata said, nuzzling Ruka’s shoulder.

“In rut?” Mae drew closer, sniffing. “... And you’re not wearing a muzzle?”

Indignation drew faint heat to Ruka’s cheeks, but she metered her reaction. “My parents wouldn’t let me come to school if I had a possibility of biting someone.”

Mae’s eyes flickered between the pair, and slowly, watching Ruka’s reaction, she took her other arm and pressed against Ruka’s free side. She took a deep breath and breathed out a satisfied sigh. “I’m glad you're back.”

Her friends clung to her as much as was possible in her classes. Their attention made Ruka feel shackled and itchy, but she kept that to herself. They were just happy to see her; she didn’t want to hurt their feelings. And having them close (even if she wished it wasn’t SO close) made her feel warm and satisfied.

When their lunch period came around, she settled down at the table. Mae and Hata sandwiched her. Hata had been nuzzling into her shoulder so much today, there was no way she would avoid a lecture from her father about it. But if pushing Hata away made her sad, that would be worse.

Her sensitive nose allerted her to… something. She knew that something was Shinjuro, but she wasn’t certain what her instincts were trying to tell her about him. Regardless, her gaze flickered up. She spotted him across the room, and he spotted her.

Though they met in private, they had still been behaving the same way in public. Their eyes met. A silent staring contest began. This time, Ruka bristled. She was never the one to bristle. Realizing her mistake, she looked away and started brushing her hair back down, nearly dislodging Hata in the process.

When she looked back up, Shinjuro was crossing the room toward her. He offered a close-lipped smile and tilted his head in a way that very slightly showed his neck. “Hi.”

What is he doing? Ruka narrowed her eyes. Heat was rushing to her face. Her heart rate picked up. On either side of her, Hata and Mae’s grips tightened. “What do you want?” Ruka demanded. Her body was trying to shift without her permission: lips pulling up like something was funny, chest expanding to make her look bigger, her core and thighs tensing in preparation to move.

Shinjuro lifted his chin haughtily, showing off more of his throat. The skin looked delicate, warm and flushed. “Can I join you?”

Her stomach fluttered, and her chest tightened. She could feel the flush in her face, now. Was this because he was challenging her? Was that what he was doing? Why would he show her his throat? She couldn’t pull her eyes off him to glance toward his friends. Ruka was not going to fight him in front of everyone and she certainly wasn’t ready to try to integrate him with Hata and Mae.

Hata whined quietly at her side. The sound awoke Ruka from her frozen state. “No,” she puffed, the word coming out hard. “Leave us alone.”

Shinjuro shrunk. His head fell, his shoulders sagged, and he turned tail, retreating back to his friends. The tension Ruka had been feeling unwound at the sight. Wounded by his disappointment, the butterflies turned to cold lead in her belly. An exhausted sigh rattled out of her, and she looked down at her meal, deflated.

“That asshole, trying to start something like that,” Mae grumbled, leering after him. 

Hata nodded against Ruka’s arm. “I hate him,” she hissed.

Ruka rubbed her face. Was that what he was doing? She thought again. If this were a challenge, she should feel like she won it, shouldn’t she?

“I wasn't sure you wanted to come,” Shinjuro was still holding the note Ruka had slipped into his locker. There was a nervous tang to his scent, but he was clearly making an effort not to fold or crumple it.

“I'm sorry. Hata and Mae don't like you, and this is a secret.”

He bit his lip, but he couldn't hide his pout. He changed the subject. “You're in rut. You must have really good self control if you don't wear a muzzle. That's… cool.”

She regarded him through narrowed eyes, unsure if he was teasing. She hadn't noticed him wearing a muzzle, but she hadn't thought to look for it before she presented. “Do you wear one?”

His cheeks colored. “I, uh, haven't gone to school while I was in rut. But if I do, I think I will. Just to be safe.”

“You should work on your self-control.” Ruka dropped into a challenge pose. Her body easily fell into the position. Happy instincts.

Shinjuro let out a relieved sigh and matched her pose. As soon as he was ready, she pounced. Her opening attack knocked the breath out of him, which was a fantastic victory. They had been at this for months, multiple days a week, and she had gotten faster and stronger. She remembered the first time, she hadn't even moved Shinjuro. This time, they were almost immediately on the ground, straining against each other. Ruka was hyper aware of his skin against hers, warm and prickling with goosebumps. His muscles bunched and extended under his skin, touching hers in flashes of perfect force. Before long, she was panting- not from exhaustion, but excitement. 

When he pinned her on her belly, arms folded against her back, he was panting, too. Defeat jabbed at her good mood, more powerful than their usual spars. Shinjuro must have sensed her bitterness, because he sprang off her like he expected her to turn on him like a cornered animal. 

Ruka jumped to her feet, but she didn't attack him out of turn; she was proud of her self control after all. “Let's go again,” she pressed. 

They sparred as usual, though the occasional growl slipped more easily from Ruka's throat. Shinjuro didn't seem to mind. On the contrary, he growled back playfully, which made her hair stand with eagerness. In their last fight, she noticed that he was slowing, hesitating, and leaving himself open. She wouldn't have noticed when they first started their lessons, but now she was quick to jump on the openings, knocking him off balance. He stumbled, trying to right himself, but she was on top of him in an instant, the meat of her hand pressing into the vulnerability where his shoulder met his neck, and her other pressing just above his pelvis. He froze beneath her. Her weight on his legs was superfluous, but it did make her feel good to straddle him and lean her teeth close to his neck.

They stopped there, chests rising and falling. He wasn't soaked in sweat like she was, but he was breathing harder. She could smell his exertion, excitement, and nervousness, but most satisfyingly, she could smell his defeat. Elation thrilled through her. I won!

Realizing her mouth was watering, she swallowed. “Did you let me win, Shinjuro?” She didn't doubt her abilities, but she knew his were better. It wouldn't sour her victory. 

He opened his mouth and closed it again. His neck turned redder. “It's…polite,” he said sheepishly. “If you weren't a good fighter, you still would've lost.”

She took another breath, savoring his scent. He was no good at manipulating it, so she knew his defeat was genuine to some extent. Her breath tickled his ear. “Thank you.”

He inhaled shakily. They hung there for another moment. “C-can I get up now?”

Okay. Let him up, Ruka… But she really didn't want to. The warmth of his neck was calling to her. A shudder ran up her spine. Her mind ran in circles, trying to either justify or wrangle her urges.

“Ruka?”

Ruka drew away, burning. She wanted him to say her name again, but her reasoning had broken through. Her emotions and urges were displaced. Shinjuro was the closest possible target, but that didn't mean that he was an acceptable one. “My parents are introducing me to an omega soon,” she announced, climbing off him hastily.

Shinjuro looked like he had been slapped. “Oh.”

She held out her hand to help him up. He took it. His hand was clammy. “Are yours looking for one for you?”

“No.” He followed her to the locker room, probably because she wouldn't let go of his hand.  Given his size and strength, he could have stopped her.

He hesitated at the door, and she released him. “You said you liked someone, right? Girl or boy?”

He looked away, embarrassed. 

“I'll tell you all about my…” she didn't know what to call the omega. “Mine.”

Shinjuro cringed.

Ruka didn't want to beg. But she did want to know. “I won't make fun of you.”

He scuffed his feet and took a step back. “... Girl.”

Her heart fluttered. But that probably didn't mean anything. There were a lot of girl omegas at their school, and of course plenty more outside of it. Besides, she shouldn't care if he liked a girl, omega or not. “Okay. I’ll see you next time.” She stepped back and shut the door on him.

Dread itched at Ruka’s ribs as she jogged home. I just need to bury my nose in some omega’s scruff. That was what she had heard older, less classy alphas say, among worse things. It was rude, but an omega would feel much more real and much more exciting than what she had felt for Shinjuro. It was all about perspective. Her parents would be happy about her interest, too.

She stopped and slowed her breathing at the front door. When she stepped inside, her parents greeted her casually.

“You're home early,” her mother chimed. “What about your meeting?”

“There wasn't a lot to talk about today. Can I help with dinner?”

Her father smiled, pleased, and her mother settled at the table. “You can cut the vegetables.”

Ruka washed up and joined him in the kitchen. The soft sound of the knife tapping the cutting board was soothing. Her parents were radiating satisfaction.

“You know, Ruka,” her mother burbled, watching them with an adoring look. “This is usually the age that alphas get difficult. My friends say it's just so hard raising an alpha, but you have been on such good behavior. Our perfect girl.”

Ruka fidgeted, embarrassed and guilty. “Thank you, mama…” Chewing her lip, she ventured, “do you know when I'll be able to meet that omega?”

She could hear a happy lilt in her mother's voice. “As soon as he's out of heat. You'll love him, darling.”

“That's good. Days, or… a week, or…?”

“Probably a week,” her father said. “Your rut triggered him, so I think it best to wait until you're out of it.”

“Mine?” She blinked up at him in surprise. Maybe they were a fated pair? Or maybe the timing was just wrong. Or maybe his cycle was just a bit volatile. Ruka didn't know if that was a good quality in a mate or not.

“It's not so unusual soon after presenting,” her father said. “Omegas are sensitive.”

Her mother nodded sagely. “When your father and I got married, he put me into heat with a bite on our wedding night.” She sighed dreamily. “But I was a late bloomer. He is just a bit older than you. You will be able to get started much sooner.”

Ruka focused very hard on the cabbage under her knife. “I just want to meet him,” she said quietly.

“They do things differently now, love,” her father said. “We'll have to be patient.”

Her appetite, already weak because of her rut, was now non-existent. She felt vaguely queasy instead. She promised herself that this omega would make her feel better.

Chapter Text

Ruka clenched her teeth as she wrestled Shinjuro. Her jaw ached. She could taste blood. It was probably from her stubborn adolescent canine which was loose but didn't have the good sense to fall out yet.

Shinjuro pinned her into the grass with a grunt that made Ruka feel warm. She silently chastised herself, disappointed and angry. He didn't linger on top of her, springing up as soon as she bared her throat.

Pulling her legs to her chest, she rolled to a sit. “Shinjuro, I thought you said it was polite to let me win sometimes.” She couldn't contain her frustration. She had seen it multiple times: an opening, Shinjuro slowing down for her, or a stumble. If she tried to seize upon it, he would snap back to attention and, puffing, beat her handily.

He looked away. “It is but…” He hesitated, gears visibly turning in his head before he rushed out, “I don't want to be patronizing.”

She crossed her arms. “Why don't you explain this etiquette to me, and I'll decide whether it's patronizing or not.”

He clammed up. His hands came together, fidgeting. “... My parents told me that. Sparring can be a way to bond, and it's polite to let someone who isn't as strong as you win. That's all. I didn't when you were first learning, because I know you needed to see how to do things right and wrong.”

“So are you just being rude now, or am I still not good enough?” The words came out more bitter than she meant. She thought her sparring skills had improved.

He shrunk. “I… I don't like losing.” 

Her teeth poked into her lip. Had she put him off? I was so weird last time. I should have known it would make him uncomfortable.

“Did you… meet that omega?” Shinjuro feebly changed the subject.

She grimaced. “Not yet. Let's go again.”

Mercifully, neither of them wanted to talk anymore. They tumbled in the grass freely.

Shinjuro collapsed onto the ground with Ruka on his back. She chuffed at his neck, trying to make her enjoyment of it more subtle than last time. “You didn't have to be so obvious about it.” The scent of defeat on him stilled any irritation. She wasn't completely sure if it was the argument or his physical surrender that did it, though.

He lifted his head and lightly knocked her chin, mumbling, “M’sorry.”

The tap didn't hurt, but it did make her teeth click together and a warm, metallic taste spilled over her tongue. She hopped up, hand to her lips. Her tooth had landed on her tongue, and now the gummy spot where it was before was bleeding.

“Ruka?” His eyes widened. “Is that blood? Did I do that?” His voice rose with concern.

“No.” Swallowing her pride, Ruka spit her adolescent tooth into her palm.

He blinked. “Oh. Oh. Congratulations!” He peeped.

“It's not the first one,” she said, looking down at the tooth sheepishly.

“Are you… Nevermind. I almost said something weird.”

Ruka nearly offered him the tooth. Her face warmed, her lips parted, and she choked back the words, mortified that they had ever formed in the first place. This is rut . She assured herself. If I gave him something unique and special and part of me and if he took it… She felt a rush. But he wouldn't take something so weird and creepy! Even less from another alpha.

“Does it hurt?” Shinjuro's voice brought her back to the moment.

“No. Not really. She closed her hand around it. “I'm sorry you had to see that…”

“I lost my old canines too. Don't worry.” He smiled tentatively. “I know! I'll get you a drink in celebration.” He turned and darted off toward the school vending machines.

Her body tensed, muscles eager to give chase, but she stopped herself. Leaning against the back wall of the building, she dug a small hole in the dirt and buried the tooth like a seed. 

She was sprinkling shredded grass over the spot when he returned with a carton of soy milk. He sat close beside her, his shoulder brushing hers, and carefully poked the straw into the container. She couldn't help but watch his careful hands; the gesture felt caring and weirdly intimate. 

“Thanks.” She found herself leaning her shoulder against his as she accepted it. His presence wasn't crowding, though she could hear his breathing and smell his sweat. Was this just how alphas behaved? Maybe he was challenging her in a subtle way. She didn't mind. “So… your family knows that we do this?”

“Yeah.” He almost said more, but closed his mouth on the additional syllables.

“What do they think about it?”

“I mean…” His voice was gruff. He angled his shoulder so it blocked her gaze on him. “They’re okay with it… They think it’s a little silly to teach you, since you, um. Have a different lifestyle.”

“What? Like samurai?” She wanted to lean closer, but she stopped herself. Instead she chewed on her straw.

Shinuro made a small sound of affirmation. He wouldn’t look at her at all, now.

Ruka took his hand, feeling a tinge of desperation. She wanted him to look at her. She wanted him to tell her all about himself. She wanted to tell him about herself. Too dangerous. Let go. “I think I’m going home early. Thanks for the drink.”

She hadn’t let go; he rose and followed her toward the locker room. He smelled more nervous the closer they came to the door. Because she wanted to ease his nerves, she stopped at the door, turned to look at him, and dropped his hand. Turning had put them nearly nose-to-nose.

Instead of relaxing, he bridled and retreated several steps. A flood of red colored his face.

Ruka bit her lip and tensed to keep from chasing him. “I had fun today, even though I lost a tooth.”

Shinjuro straightened and gave a small smile, emboldened by her praise. “Me too. I mean, I had fun too. I didn’t lose a tooth.”

Covering her own smile with her hand, she nodded. “I'll see you then.” Neatly and properly, she went into the locker room to shower and change. She walked with intention, stripped carefully and quietly, and turned on the shower. When she was certain that the water would drown it out, she buried her head in her hands and let out a squeal. Just one. The energy had built up too much: a rising warmth like steam in a kettle. And then she put her mask back together, leaving only a lasting purr.

Ruka was struck as soon as she opened the door to her home. The excitement she had felt for Shinjuro was converted into heat, thirst, and apprehension. She recognized the saccharine odor of the in-season omega. She stepped inside, feeling suddenly tense and alert.

“You’re back early,” her mother greeted, bounded over, and kissed her forehead. “Your omega sent you a gift, Ruka. Isn’t that sweet?”

“Oh. Yes. I am… grateful,” Ruka said carefully. “What is it?”

Her mother held out a box with an open top. Ruka reached inside and removed a long, thoroughly scented sash. Instinctively, she was relieved that her mother had not touched it. Otherwise, she was uncertain what to do with the gift. The scent was the point of the gift, Ruka knew. Breathing it in stoked a physical reaction, but she was not drawn to bury her nose in it, like she had seen her father do with her mother’s gifts. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. Hoping to cover for her lack, she looked up to her and asked, “Should I give him a gift, too?”

“That’s a great idea,” Her mother purred. “You are so considerate and thoughtful. My wonderful alpha girl.” She stroked Ruka’s cheek, and Ruka stopped herself from baring her teeth.

“What would he like?” Ruka asked, setting the sash back in the box and taking it into her room.

Her mother retrieved another box and followed. Her eyes flickered around Ruka’s room. “What about something he can wear? That would help him so much. Oh, Ruka, what about this?” Her mother held up one of her favorite night shirts. It was an old and bland gown that hung to her knees, loose on her frame. She had worn it last night, and it smelled richly of her rut.

“That? Shouldn’t I give him something… Clean?” No. Of course not. The scent was the point.

“You two will be sleeping beside each other one day,” her mother said, handing the gown to her. “Give it a fresh scenting and box it up. I’ll give it to him.”

Ruka did not want to argue with her mother. She decided that it was just her rut that was making her bristle. Swallowing, she nodded. She rubbed her wrists over the gown, trying to vent her possessive energy into it. This gown was hers. She would get it back when she and the omega became mates. That was fine. It had to be.

Her mother smiled brightly as Ruka scented a box, too, and put the gown in. Ruka looked down at it surrounded by cardboard, took a deep breath, and set it down on the bed. “I’m going to wash up.” She metered her speed as she retreated to the bathroom, leaving the box and the gifts to her mother.

Ruka had tired of containing her rut by the next time she met with Shinjuro again. She was bound tight, muscles held carefully in place. Each hair was monitored to ensure it laid flat, each movement restrained to signal openness and peace, and each feeling was quietly stilled to keep her scent in check. At the sight of him, that tension unwound. She untied a ribbon from her hair and let it fluff, shook out her stiff limbs, and sprang toward him with aggressive excitement, stopping only to challenge pose. As soon as he returned the gesture, she took him on. Sweeping low, she took his legs out from under him; on the ground, she could really savor his presence without worrying about distance and balance. She was better at groundwork, inside his guard.

So she still felt satisfied when he pinned her. He was breathing harder, warmed up, and flushed. He examined her face with a hint of concern and, when he saw her smile, relaxed. “I thought you were mad at me for a minute, there.” He rolled off of her.

She rocked onto her feet. “I needed this. Being in rut is hard.”

“Really?” He raised a brow at her. “You make it look easy.”

Ruka looked away quickly. Trying to make the motion look natural, she brushed some loose hair behind her ear. “Thank you. I try really hard.”

“Next time I go into rut, I want to come to school like you do.” He was up, challenging her again.

She eagerly sprang to her feet and met his pose. They clashed again. The pair couldn’t speak when they sparred, they were so caught up in competition. They ended with him on top of her again, but he didn’t linger this time. They were both on their feet before long, picking up the conversation as they caught their breath. “What do you find hard about it? Maybe I can help.”

“I don’t know,” he grinned with teeth, and she growled playfully. They circled each other, preening and peacocking. When had Ruka started doing that? “I… I’m reckless and territorial. I might do something stupid.”

“Like hurt someone?”

He crouched. She crouched. He pounced. This time, she wriggled out of his attempted pins twice before he snapped at her neck loud enough to make her freeze. Again, they sprang apart.

“I think I might scare someone. And I might bite.”

Ruka thought about her mother’s story about her father biting her. “Because you want to hurt someone?”

His face paled. “No. No, I don’t… I don’t think I would do that.”

“You think you’ll bite the girl you like?”

His face went from pale to red, and he crouched. She let him wait for a moment, giving him time to answer. When he didn’t, she mirrored his crouch, and they wrestled. She nearly had him on the ground before he overpowered her and twisted her into a pin where she couldn’t see his face. “Maybe,” he said quietly. If she hadn’t expected him to try to hide his answer, she would have missed it.

“Maybe you should talk to this girl,” Ruka said. She wasn’t sure that she wanted him to, though. He was an alpha. He wanted a proper mate: an omega. And any omega girl would happily jump into his lap. The thought, which came to her occasionally as she tried to fall asleep, was enough to keep her tossing and turning for hours. When she suggested it, she was only offering her best advice. It was the right thing to do. “That way she won’t be surprised if you try to.”

“I’d wear a muzzle,” he mumbled, releasing her. “D-do you think that I should warn her? Really?”

“If you actually think you’ll try to bite her and you can’t keep your distance.”

He was watching her with a completely sodden look.

Her heart beat faster. Maybe there were other reasons she wanted him to say something. Selfish, illogical ones. Shinjuro is an alpha, she repeated to herself. He wants an omega mate. “Can you keep your distance?”

He blinked. Opened his mouth. Closed it again. “Maybe I’ll… just stay home.”

Ruka’s rut brain panicked, but she fought to wrangle her feelings. She prayed that her insides splitting into a million loose threads didn’t make her voice shake. If she didn’t move soon, she feared her body might betray her. “You should come in. You need to learn how to act around other people.”

“It’d probably be better not to,” he said hastily. “I mean, I-I stink, so.” He bared his teeth and took on his challenge pose. She returned it. They tangled.

Ruka was zealous this round. She needed to work out her flash of emotions. Her heart was pounding, and soon she was panting. Shinjuro’s odors rolling over her tongue excited her in full: all his nervousness, and his aggression, and his boyish alpha musk. But she could work this out; that was what their sparring was for. Just a bit more rolling, and she could act normal again. Her skin prickled. Sensitive to his movements, she jerked from his grip faster; he couldn’t pin her. She attacked lithe, confident, and unyielding. His usual playful scuffle startled into a more sincere effort, but it was too late. Her teeth had found flesh. She snapped where his shoulder met his neck, where the muscle was bunched so deliciously. That was where you were supposed to mark your mate. Shinjuro yelped. She could taste his excitement and submission. It was so much better than scent alone. More a nip than a bite, her lip enveloped the spot. She couldn't dig in tightly with her missing canine. She felt his blood thrum beneath the thin skin, the muscles vibrating at a level too small to see, and his warmth. Sweat seasoned the whole experience. 

Overwhelmed, she released him with a shiver and leaned her head back, gasping. Mine. He's mine. Her body sang it through her nerves. Ruka wanted more of him, but she could tell he was still not completely at ease beneath her, so she said something gentle and not too direct. “Shinjuro, you smell really good.”

Her own voice startled her into lucidity. That wasn’t what I meant to say. Her face flared. She looked down at him. 

His eyes were stretched wide, his pupils big and round, and his mouth gaping. There was a mark on his neck, but, to her overwhelming relief, it was just a deep bruise. His face was scarlet. As he stared, she smelled a tangy musk come off him that was familiar. His shock turned to alarm. “Ruka! Get off!” He barked, more plea than demand.

Ashamed, she lunged away.

He pulled his knees to his chest and rolled upright.

“Shinjuro-”

“I just need a minute! Please be quiet. I-I…” He buried his face in his knees and whined.

Her heart sank. I messed this up. I never should have… There were so many places she had gone wrong, she couldn't pick just one. And now she had attacked him. She waited and watched him repentantly, kneeling low and tilting her head to show her neck. He wasn't looking at her, but when he did, he would see that it was an accident. Maybe he wouldn't tell anyone about this. Maybe their friendship would end with just the rejection and not it coming out to everyone at school that she had bitten another alpha in some perverted fervor.

An eternity passed before he recovered. Finally, he rubbed his neck and looked up, not directly at her but putting her in the corner of his eye. “Um. T-thank you.” He stammered.

Ruka reeled so hard she forgot to look apologetic. “Huh?”

His face screwed up in mortification. “You said I, uh. Smell good.”

She dropped her gaze to the ground helplessly. The wind ruffled the grass between them. Birds chirped. “... Why don't I get you a drink?” She jumped up and darted inside.

Ruka fed the machine and hit the buttons for soy milk, candy, and chips. Don’t hate me. Balling her hands over her eyes,  she tried to steady her breathing. The machine went thunk, thunk, thunk. Shinjuro, please don't hate me! He thanked her. How could he thank her when she had done something so innapropriate!? Freakish, even!? She paced around the cafeteria trying to get ahold of herself. Maybe he just didn’t know how to respond. Maybe he was still processing. Maybe he’ll be gone when I get back. Her heart beat double time. No no nonono! Grabbing the snacks, she sprinted back outside.

He was standing now, brow furrowed and watching the door. The relief that he was still there was overwhelming. Skidding to a stop, she thrust the food into his hand. “I'm sorry, Shinjuro. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bitten you.” She bowed her head low and twisted to bare her neck.

“It's fine!” He tried to lift his hand with his arms full. “Ruka, you didn't hurt me. W-will you sit with me?” he asked.

She nodded. I'll do anything to show you I'm normal. Please…

They sat against the wall. He poked the straw into the milk carton and opened the bag of chips, but only nibbled at them noncommittally. They were quiet. Ruka couldn't even smell him over her own reeking anxiety.

“...Um,” Shinjuro finally croaked. “Bites… happen.”

She nodded stiffly, not looking at him.

“You didn't…mean it?” He almost sounded disappointed.

Ruka didn't know how to answer. Had she? No. Anything she could have meant, she certainly shouldn’t have.

“I… I still like you.” Shinjuro said. “I'm sorry I yelled at you.”

“You don't have to apologize. That's what you should have done. I bit you, Shinjuro.”

“That's normal. I mean. It happens,” he repeated. Swallowing, he asked, “We can still do this, right?” When she didn't immediately answer, he mumbled, “I mean, we don't have to. If you're uncomfortable. I just. I have fun… with you…” his voice trailed off.

“I like it.” Ruka said. A lot. “Let's not stop. Please.”

He hesitantly scooched closer and held out the chips. She reached out to take one, and they ate together. “... You uh,” Shinjuro peeped. “You smell good, too.”

Her face burned. She had been bracing for punishment, shame, and worse: the loss of his company. In contrast, the praise felt so good it was overwhelming. “Thank you,” she whispered. She untied her hair ribbon from her wrist, where she had looped it for safekeeping. She wove it between her fingers nervously. “Shinjuro…” She could feel him perk up beside him. Without looking, she held the ribbon, rich with her scent, out to him.

He started to purr, and quickly stifled it with a cough. “I-” his voice cracked. “I can take this?”

Ruka nodded. His reaction made her smile.

This time he let the purr pour into his voice. “Thank you!”

Chapter Text

“You look happy, Ruka,” Hata observed.

“Do I?” Ruka put a hand to her face. She wasn't outright smiling.

“Lighter,” she said. “Are you glad your rut is over?”

Ruka nodded. They were in Ruka’s room. Her door was open. Ruka was on her own bed, and Hata was at her desk, hands splayed over her textbooks.

“Really? And what about that omega I smell?”

She tensed. Ignoring the scented sash was difficult, even with it buried under her bed, but she was hoping that it wasn't so obvious to someone who wasn't an alpha. Apparently it was.

“Who are they?” Hata asked eagerly.

“Some boy. I don't know. I haven't met him yet. Our parents want to get us together.”

“But are you excited to meet him?”

She almost said no. Instead, she managed, “I don't know…”

“You must be so happy! You don't even have to confess.”

Ruka swallowed around the lump in her throat. Carefully, she explained, “I… almost wish I had the chance to confess to someone I cared about like that.”

Hata swung her legs contentedly. “Confessions are overrated.”

She frowned. “Hata, do you… dislike Shinjuro, now?”

Hata twisted in her chair, frowning. “He's not the only reason I'm saying this. You're lucky your family sets up this kind of thing so soon. Besides,” She wrinkled her nose. “Didn’t you hear?”

“Hear what?”

“He had a hickey! I can't believe it!”

Ruka felt light-headed, but her voice came out steady. “Are you sure?”

 Nodding vigorously, Hata twirled her pen and doodled in her notebook. She held it up for Ruka to see. Hata was a decent artist; Shinjuro was recognizable, as was the mark Ruka had left on his neck. “It was right there over his glands.”

Her tongue felt like jello, so she was surprised when she sounded calm. Disinterested, even. “Maybe he has a mate.”

Hata’s brow scrunched in displeasure. No matter what she said, Ruka knew she was still jealous. “Wouldn't he say so? Well, I guess he was sort of showing it off.” She examined her doodle with a clear attempt at objectivity.

Showing it off . Ruka felt a juvenile sense of satisfaction, and then immediately regretted it. It had been too easy to entertain inappropriate thoughts when she was in rut; she couldn't allow her thoughts to wander anymore. “It’s best not to gossip.”

Hata tutted, but looked back at her work. “Fine. When are you going to meet your omega friend?”

Ruka sighed. “Tomorrow.”

Hata squealed. “You have to tell me all about it!”

The home of her prospective mate was sprawling and modern. Their families ate together, and Ruka quietly examined him from across the table. He was tall and broad, handsome in the traditional sense, and just a bit older than her. She liked the way he looked. He wasn’t petite like Hata. I could make a life with him, she thought. He’s… okay. She ate carefully, occasionally making eye contact with him. He would make a fine mate. Anyone would be happy to have him.  

As they left, her father said, “I saw you looking at him.”

“You like him, don’t you?” her mother burbled.

Ruka nodded. Her chest felt tight, a leaden weight that traveled up to her throat. She knew it would settle eventually.

Shinjuro grunted as Ruka slammed his shoulders to the ground. Growling, she ignored her desire to be gentler. He didn’t need her protection. Alphas fought. They didn’t have to enjoy it.

“That was a good pin, Ruka,” Shinjuro praised breathlessly.

She grit her teeth and jerked away from him. They weren’t talking. They were hardly friends. “Let’s go again.” None of his compliments had landed. Not once in the past few weeks. She wouldn’t let them make her feel warm or soft. Not when she had an omega mate she was supposed to care for. 

He looked up at her without rising, looking stung. “Are…” He closed his mouth and thought for a moment before trying again. “Did I do something wrong?”

Ruka blinked at him, disarmed. “No.” Was that what he thought? “Of course not.”

“You’re acting different,” Shinjuro said.

Searching for a way to reassure him, she explained, “If I was upset with you, I wouldn’t meet with you like this.”

Shinjuro dug his fingers into the grass. His eyes were rounded with worry. Without the light on them, they still seemed to glow, but the intense gold and red were muted to a softer, warm brown. She thought she heard him whimper before he murmured “Alright…” His gaze fell. “I… um. I got you something. Because you gave me your ribbon.”

She had been trying to forget about that, but his bringing it up- not just bringing it up, but reciprocating- made her heart beat fast and her blood rush. So much for his kindness not landing. Didn't he know they were supposed to be competing?

“But,” he said feebly. “You don’t have to take it. I know-”

“I want it,” Ruka’s voice said before she gave it permission. She knelt in front of him and leaned closer. Swallowing any apologies for her distance, she asked, “You kept my ribbon?”

He nodded. “I didn’t wear it in school, because I know this is a secret for you but I carry it. I wanted to give you something of mine, but I know your parents, um…” he faltered.

Recoiling at the reminder of her parents, she said, “Oh. Oh. You’re right. I couldn’t take something that smelled like you.” Resentment pinched in her chest. They just have my best interests in mind, she reminded herself.

“But, I wanted to give you something,” he repeated. “It does smell like me a little but maybe you can hide it.” He extended his hand, palm up. An omamori, a good-luck charm, sat in its center. It was red with gold cloud embroidery, and had the characters for love on the front. The cord was a matching gold in a looping double knot. Simple and elegant. It smelled like him, as much as it would from regular handling. Maybe he had even tucked it into his breast pocket, close to his chest. 

Ruka felt dizzy with giddiness. She accepted the charm with reverence. Bringing it to her nose, she took a deep breath. Shinuro’s scent was warm and woodsy, with a geranium note and strong amber musk. Her body shivered, and she shook her head to clear the sensation. “Thank you. I love it.”

His expression brightened. “I’m glad. I… I wanted to make you happy.”

A soft weakness made her limbs wobble. How could he have such an effect on her? “I’m happy. You make me happy.” That was too much. I shouldn’t have said it like that. Her face warmed. She wanted to lean into him. The time spent acting distant felt wasted.

Then she remembered she wasn’t supposed to feel like this. Guilt rose up. Vaguely nauseous, she stood. “Thank you. I think I need to go.” Averting her gaze so she couldn’t see his disappointment, she trotted toward the locker room. “I’ll see you next time.” Her heart was beating too hard for her to hear his answer.

One benefit Ruka earned for behaving around her mate was the ability to visit him freely as long as he wasn't in heat. Especially now that she had this treasure from Shinjuro, she was relieved to have somewhere else to go besides home. She was welcomed in by his parents, and retreated to his room, where they were left alone.

“Tadashi,” Ruka greeted him as she stepped into the room and slid the door closed behind her.

The omega was laying on his stomach in bed, shirtless and pantless. Only underwear and a protective collar gave him any modesty, and she knew he didn’t care. “Ruka,” he echoed her tone. Sometimes they chatted. He used to approach her and whimper with desire, but she had insisted on waiting. Now he didn’t do that anymore. She guessed it had been an act, but he still made himself available, if unwilling to reach out and do the work, himself.

Walking past him, she sat on the floor and worked on regaining her senses. She had showered, but certainly not rinsed her charm. Her parents might notice, but she wanted it. She wanted to be able to smell Shinjuro. Why couldn’t she focus on what she was supposed to?

“You smell stressed. And…” He sniffed the air. “Is that one of the Rengokus?”

That he knew Shinjuro’s scent was a surprise enough that she hesitated to answer. “... Yes.”

“A gift from another alpha? Are you going to make him yours?” Tadashi teased.

Her gaze snapped up to him and her mouth fell open. All she could do was gape; the words fled her mind, and she felt a cold sweat break out.

He laughed. “Oh, that’s rich. I guess it’d make sense, huh? It’s not like you want to sleep with me. ” 

Ruka reeled. He was laughing. He smelled calm, unbothered, vaguely aroused. And he was laughing at her . “It’s not like that,” she insisted. An edge entered her voice as she hissed, “Be quiet!”

He hopped out of bed and stretched. Then he bent to eye level with her and lowered his voice conspiratorially. “Listen, this works out fine. I don’t want to be mates with you, either.”

She was too baffled to be mad. Despite her best efforts to work up indignation, she could only feel relieved. “Then why did you keep-?”

“Because I like sex.” He rocked back on his heels. “But if you like alphas, then that’ll make this easier. Once we’ve got a plan, we can tell our parents we’re not working out. Mine’ll try to match me with someone else, but-”

“I don’t like alphas,” she insisted. Her hand closed tight around the charm. That wasn’t what all this was. Didn’t he get it? Fear hammered at her heart. She lunged forward, pinning him to the floor with her free hand. “I like omegas. I can prove it.”

He raised a brow and squirmed beneath her with a cooing purr. “I like the sound of that… but I won’t tell either way.”

“There’s nothing to tell.” She snapped her teeth close to his neck, leaning over his body. She insisted, “it’s only because we’re mates, that I would argue about this…”

Tilting his head aside submissively, he pushed sincerity into his voice. “Ruka, I don’t care who you’re into. I like omega girls.”

“Huh?”

“And beta girls, too. Any girls, honestly. Having a mate kind of gets in the way of what I want.”

She shook her head. “No. No, I like omegas,” she repeated. “You’re perfect for me. That’s why our parents put us together.”

“Our parents put us together because mine want me on a leash and yours… I don’t know.” He chuckled. “Want you to mellow out or something? They probably noticed that you shower after school every other day and think you need a leash as much as I do.”

Was it that obvious that she was trying to hide something? Ruka felt sick. Growling, she jerked forward and bit his collar. It extended down his shoulders, like the top bit of a thick leather turtleneck. It buckled at the throat and below each armpit. Her teeth couldn’t get to the spot she was supposed to bite as an alpha, but it was validating to bite something.

He gasped at the pressure, and his body shivered. 

Then I’m doing it right, she thought, rolling her hips into his. When she woke feeling hot and tense, all she wanted was to rut into something, so the motion felt right. That part of her body was sensitive, and she could imagine what needed to happen for this to work. Tadashi had already spread his legs for her. The scent of his arousal was immediate and overwhelming. Saliva pooled in her mouth. The pressure in her panties grew as her phallus unsheathed. Her fist tightened around the charm. 

However, the physical reaction felt outside of herself. She tried to center herself in the coolness of the sweat and the warmth of her mate’s skin, but there was no connection. Physically, it was a rushing, gorgeous sensation. Heat and tightness and using her muscles just how she knew she was supposed to. Emotionally, she felt the same when Tadashi stopped things to pull out condoms as she did when she pinned him on his belly and took him from behind in his bed.

When they were done, Ruka rolled over and laid down beside him, chest heaving. Her legs and core shivered, but again, the pleasure felt second-hand. Ruka lifted her hands to her face to rub it and found  the charm still in her hand. Shinjuro's scent cut through the stench of her and Tadashi, and then the emotions and the physical sensations snapped together. She tensed as they rolled though her. She clammed up, nausea roiled in her stomach, and her heart slammed against the walls of her ribs for an entirely new reason.

“You okay?” Tadashi asked, sitting up beside her.

“That was… not what I should have done,” she croaked.

He combed his fingers through his tousled hair self-consciously. “That’s probably what our parents wanted, if it helps.”

It did help a little. She took deep breaths, holding the charm close to her nose. Slowly, her heartbeat and breathing slowed. “Isn’t it supposed to fix me?” she asked shakily.

“I… don’t think that’s how it works.” He shrugged, not looking at her. “It’s just sex.”

“But you’re my mate.” She grabbed his arm beseechingly.

He sighed and laid back down, pulling the blankets over them. “I don’t want a mate. If that’s what you want, you’re going to have to choose someone else.”

“But my parents-”

“Your parents aren’t the ones who get to mark me. So it’s not their choice, is it?”

Ruka felt as relieved as she did hurt by his rejection. Her grip on him loosened and she sunk into the mattress. The weight of this arrangement lifted, but she was still a failure.

“Was that your first time?” He asked her.

“Yes.”

“Did you like it?”

She thought she should say yes if they were supposed to be mates. Then she thought she should say no, if she was being honest about her emotional state. After a moment of consideration, however, she realized, “I like how it feels, but…”

“But I'm not who you want to be with.” He guessed. “Sorry if you're not in the state of mind to hear it, but you aren't great at it. Not that I blame you with it being your first time. I could think of some better options, too, is all I’m saying.”

Her cheeks flushed in mortification.

“I could teach you some tricks if you want to impress someone else.”

That was definitely not what she was supposed to be doing with him. There was too much going on in her head. Burying her face in her hands, she rolled her back to him. She was relieved the only thing she had taken off was her panties; she didn't feel vulnerable in bed with him, even though he was naked.

He didn’t push. He understood her that much. Even if their engagement was all but dead, she didn't expect him to tell. Still, she mumbled, “can this be a secret?”

His answer came easily. “Yeah.”

“I need to think about… about all this.”

He sounded content with the state of things. “Yeah. Take your time.”

Ruka thought her parents would say something, that they would know. However, they didn’t say anything about her staying out late at Tadashi’s. They didn’t question why she smelled so strongly like him. Most relieving of all, they didn’t catch Shinjuro’s scent from the charm. She hid it away in a wax envelope in her bookbag, hoping to hide and preserve it as best as she could. 

She didn't manage to catch a whiff of Shinjuro at school the next day, or the day after that, but she didn't share any classes with him. It wasn't unusual for her to miss him at school: disappointing, but not a concern.

When she went out back behind the school and he wasn't there, the anxiety started to prickle. He wasn't late, not to meeting her. She paced back and forth behind the school, stomping down the grass. At first she was mad at being stood up, then she thought how she should have paid more attention to see if he was at school. Maybe she could sniff around his desk. But then she withered. Had she done something wrong? Did he find out about Tadashi? He knew she had a mate, so what had changed? 

Ruka couldn't bring herself to leave until well after their usual end time. When she arrived at Tadashi’s room, she just wanted to stop feeling lost and hollow. She caught him by the collar without greeting. “Can we have sex again?”

He blinked in surprise but nodded.

Chapter Text

The next day she didn’t see Shinjuro at school. They weren’t intending to meet, but she strolled around the school with Mae and Hata anyway and made excuses when they expressed their confusion. Then she escorted them home and went to see Tadashi again. He was content to bear the brunt of her frustration, given that she listened to his critiques of her performance and improved. She was content to scent his overshirts thoroughly enough to cover up his romps with other girls. The day after that, she walked through the school more thoroughly. Shinjuro’s scent was faint and stale at his locker, certainly not fresh enough to be less than several days old. She drowned her anxiety between Tadashi’s legs again.

Finally, she caught his scent in the school halls. Her anxiety unwound. Her gaze sharpened, and down each corridor she looked. He smelled strongly of musk and cedar, the geranium notes overtaken. Her legs itched to go find him, but Hata took her hand.

“Wow, that’s… really immature, right?” Hata leaned against her side, a pink going to her cheeks, and her nose scrunched up performatively even as she took deep, indulgent sniffs. The tension in her body was clear, but instead of the disdain she was going for, Ruka could tell she was excited.

She bit back jealousy. “Most alphas can’t control their scent as well as I can when they’re in rut.”

Hata just hummed in acknowledgement, clearly distracted.

Ruka swallowed, glanced back down the hall toward the source of the scent, and turned her back to it as she led her friend to their next class.

At lunch, she spotted him. Excitement rushed through her so fast her vision blurred, but she kept on a calm face. She might have bristled, goosebumps prickling along her arms and her long hair standing a little bigger. But no one who wasn’t paying attention would notice.

“What are you so excited about?” Mae asked. She followed Ruka’s gaze and snorted. “You’re not afraid he’ll start a fight, are you?”

Shinjuro had a glinting metal muzzle strapped to his face. It was light, thin chords of metal bent to fit comfortably and secured with leather straps around his head. There was enough space to fit small bites of food between the bars. A couple clip-on charms dangled where the bars met around his cheeks. He bumped his friends and tossed his hair in a way that was playful, but kept his personal space clear of invasion.

She wished that what she felt at the moment was dismissal or envy, but she couldn’t deny it any more. She wanted him, and she wanted him to want her. She tried to shake the feeling away.

The movement drew his attention, instead. He caught her eye and stood taller. His strut reminded her of a show horse; he lifted his legs just a bit too high, stood on his toes, and moved in a way that demanded attention. When Hata squeaked at her side, Ruka realized he was moving toward them.

She stood as if she were expecting a fight. He stopped, bouncing on his feet.

“Stop,” Ruka said firmly. 

His feet fell flat. He deflated. Their secret was protected.

Guilty at disappointing him, she lowered her voice so only the closest people could hear: her, him, Hata, and Mae. “I am happy you’re back.” Then, unable to stop herself, she blurted out, “I missed you.”

He rose up again, mane fluffing, smiling bright but not toothily. “I missed you, too.”

Everyone was watching. He stood there, apparently stuck in the moment. Self-conscious, she shooed at him. He snapped back to reality, turned, and scurried back to his friends.

Ruka swallowed and sat back down. Her friends’ eyes fixed on her. Finally, Hata blurted out, “What was that?!”

“He missed you?” Mae added.

The pair continued questioning. Ruka took her time formulating an answer. Finally, she lifted her hand for silence. They petered off. Quietly, she explained, “you have to keep this between us.” When they both had promised that this would stay secret, she said carefully, “I confronted Shinjuro after what happened at the beginning of the year.”

Hata’s expression was sharp and serious.

“He didn’t mean any offense. He offered to teach me to spar.”

They stared at her in disbelief.

“We’ve been sparring since then.”

Mae reached over and squeezed Ruka’s arm, eyes narrowed. “You have gotten… bulkier.”

“I don’t believe it!” Hata whispered. “I won’t! You have to prove it.”

“I can’t picture you fighting,” Mae agreed.

She looked down at the table to keep her eyes from wandering toward Shinjuro. “It’s okay if you don’t believe me.” It was better, even, if they didn’t investigate.

“You’ll show us, won’t you?” Mae pressed. “That’s what you were doing after school, right?”

Curling her fingers into her palm, Ruka searched for an excuse. She was looking forward to sparring with Shinjuro now that he was in rut. She wanted him all for herself. Nothing came to mind, so she hesitantly nodded. “It’s not that exciting,” she lied. “But… I guess you can come.”

Ruka slipped a note into Shinjuro's locker to warn him of their interlopers the next day they planned to meet. Mae and Hata followed Ruka eagerly, Hata’s gait bouncy with enthusiasm. Mae was sticking closer than usual by Ruka’s side. Excitement wafted from them both. They had the sense not to talk about the secret meeting until after school when the other students were gone. Ruka let them chatter to each other, gaze fixed ahead.

With a flare of fiery hair and a bare chest, Shinjuro was prancing and bouncing and shaking out his mane. He shot straight up and spun to see the girls. He had switched out his metal muzzle for a completely leather one that obscured his mouth, but she could see a smile in his eyes. “Ruka,” he said. He trotted over and dipped his head, twisting to show his neck. The movement was accompanied with bounces from foot to foot; he just couldn’t hold still.

His approach had been so quick and he had come so close that Hata and Mae retreated. Ruka stood her ground. “Shinjuro,” she crooned. He smelled so good and so strong. Her body thrummed.

He straightened, hair standing, but managed to keep his heels on the ground. “I’m happy to really meet your friends.” But his gaze was fixed on her. Challenging, intense.

Without looking away, she gestured to where they had been. “You met Hata. This is Mae.” Reaching up, she caught the strap of his muzzle. “What happened to your other one?”

He leaned into her touch. Her mood elevated. “It’s for you. I mean-” He coughed. “It’s so the charms don’t get in the way. I could take them off my other one if you want to wear it.”

“Ruka doesn’t need a muzzle,” Mae interjected.

They sprang apart. Shinjuro shook his head like he was trying to get something out of his ears, then turned his attention to Mae. “I’m Rengoku Shinjuro.” He bowed to her, too, but did not show his neck. Hata received a similar bow. Bluntly, he said, “I want you both to like me.”

Mae watched with narrowed eyes before bowing, too. Hata was looking lovestruck again, like he had never rejected her. 

Ruka growled, trying to sound playful, and crouched. “Please give us room,” she told the girls. 

When they had retreated to sit by the wall, Shinjuro crouched, too, eyes sparkling. “Thank you.” He pounced.

What a relief ! Shinjuro took up so much space in real life and in her mind- his skin and his muscles and his odor and his growls and grunts. Their tussle strew their bodies over the grass. Rolling, rolling, and then he was on top of her. Palm to palm, he pinned her hands over her head. He was panting hard, even though they were just warming up.

So was she. They couldn’t break each other’s gaze.

“Wow!” Hata’s squeal hammered through. They both turned to look at her. Her face was flushed. She leaned forward, legs folded beneath her, fluffed with excitement. “That was amazing!” she cried.

Mae was chewing her lip, watching with arms crossed. 

Shinjuro headbutted Ruka gently before jumping off her. “Did you like that?” he asked, preening his hair.

Hata clapped. “It was wonderful!”

Ruka clicked her teeth and crouched again. “Shinjuro.”

Immediately he spun, crouching as he went. She was on him before he had fully turned around. If he wasn’t going to focus on her, then he would lose. That was all. That was how the evening went. Any time they weren’t wrestling, and he was showboating for Mae and Hata, she wound tighter. Only fighting him would allow her to loosen. Such a delicate balancing act. He was rougher in rut, manhandling her. Sometimes when he pinned her, he stretched her, or caught her in a way that made her back arch. He let himself lose twice, and tried his best to position himself similarly. 

The clumsiness of his attempts went unnoticed by their audience. Hata was practically shaking with arousal as she watched, embarrassingly transparent. Mae looked furious, but she couldn’t conceal the fact that she and Hata had more in common than the expression let on. Ruka’s nose was too sensitive. 

“It’s going to get dark,” Ruka finally pointed out the second time she put Shinjuro on the ground. He arched toward her, eyes hooded as he watched her. She carefully controlled her breathing. If this didn’t end soon she was going to bite him. She jerked her body away from his. He was quick to his feet, too.

Hata sprang to her feet. “Wow!” she echoed. She hadn’t stopped saying it since it started. “Over already? Really?”

“Hata, I think you should-” She had been moving to put herself between Hata and Shinjuro, but he was doing the same thing. They collided with mutual growls. The rush of surprise and the territorial pheromones that puffed off them both made Ruka see red. Was he really trying to get to Hata? Her friend, of all people? How DARE he! Snarling, she fought to put him down again. It was easy, he was caught completely off guard. She pinned him, shoulders flat on the ground. Snaking her head forward, she nearly bit him, but instead bit the leather strap of his muzzle. Her lips kissed his cheeks around the leather. She could taste him. Suddenly, she didn’t know whether she had been ‘protecting’ Hata or Shinjuro. “You stay away from her,” she hissed.

Shinjuro whimpered. He squirmed beneath her, only to freeze when she pressed harder on his belly, just under his belly button. His breathing quickened, his muscles tensed. His mouth opened and closed. He whimpered again, desperate to move, but dominated completely. The scent coming off of him: defeat and… and-

“Ruka!” 

At Mae’s voice, Ruka jerked up. She was hot down to her core, but her body was still in control. She just needed to breathe.

Shinjuro flipped himself onto his feet and scrambled away. She had to cover her eyes to keep from chasing him.

“Relax, Ruka.” Hata grumbled. Spinning, she called after Shinjuro. “Hey, Shinjuro, wait!”

Frustration rushed through her. Even with her eyes covered, she could still hear and smell and she wanted to chase.

“Hata!” Mae called. “Ruka, go shower. I'll make sure they're ok.”

Ruka growled quietly, but hopefully Mae didn't notice. She waited until she couldn't hear any of her friends to uncover her eyes. No one was there, now. The sun was setting. The wind was combing the grass. Compared to their gathering just minutes before, the scene was so excruciatingly lonely she could almost cry.

Instead, she retreated to the locker rooms and showered. Under the warm water, she flexed her back and rolled her shoulders, trying to relax. She was too wound up. Her body tingled as if each drop of water was a fingertip brushing ghostly against her skin. She was afraid to touch between her legs; she didn't know how she could avoid a dramatic reaction.

Maybe it would be best to get it over with. She didn't know if her friends might come back, but she didn't want to walk out in this state. Looking around the showers, she swallowed and slipped a hand between her legs. How had Tadashi put his hands on her? She tried to remember his technique, because she hadn't done it on her own before. As soon as she touched herself, she was hard. Her gaze flitted around for any sign of someone returning, but soon her own panting and the urges she was trying to work out cut her alertness. Her awareness narrowed to a pinprick, her eyes opened only to slits. She tried to stifle her moans, but a soft hiss escaped in the breath between her teeth. She felt feverish and desperate, but she also felt lonely, and her body wasn't working with her to overcome that fact. Her touch felt clumsy and mortified.

She leaned her forehead against the wall, hands falling limp, frustrated. The warm wet air reeked of her sexual frustration.

“Ruka?”

She tensed and froze. Maybe they hadn't entered the shower. Maybe she could fan the air.

“Ruka,” Mae called again from the changing area. “Hata and Shinjuro went home.

She felt a wave of disappointment and anger. She quashed it. “I-I'll be out in a little bit.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes!” she snapped, willing her boner to go down. It persisted. There was a long silence. 

“... It feels off, the way you two look at each other,” Mae said. 

Ruka's stomach dropped. When she didn't say anything, Mae continued.

“I thought you had a mate. An omega mate.”

“I do,” Ruka said feebly, only loud enough to be heard over the running water.

“Does he know you do this?”

“Yes.” She wanted to scream. Luckily her arousal was fading, giving way to stress.

“I'm worried about you,” Mae said. “It can't be healthy, feeling that way about another alpha. Isn't your mate helping you at all?”

“It's not like that.” She didn't know what she was referring to, but she wanted to end this conversation. “It-it's not about Shinjuro. I'm sure every alpha feels that way. It's just- It's a physical reaction. I always… sort it out with my mate.” That was believable. Mae would understand that. Ruka turned the shower nozzle to make the water colder.

Mae sounded relieved. “Oh. Good.”

Her hand was still leaning against the wet tiles. Cold water was hitting her now, making her shiver. There was silence for a while. “... Would it be so bad, if alphas dated?”

Voice guarded, Mae said, “...It's not how things are. It's like. Going backwards.”

Ruka took a deep breath. “What about betas?”

“What about us?”

“Alphas and omegas. Those are who all the rules are about. What's right for betas?”

“That's not the same,” Mae said defensively. “Why do you always argue about this stuff? What you're supposed to do…” she scoffed.

“You should do what you want. If it's right for you.” She wasn't sure she believed her own words. What was one person's opinion worth? How could she expect to know what's best? But she wanted it to be true.

Mae fell silent. The steam started to lessen, and the smell of Ruka's arousal was also fading, washed down the drain. She turned the water off and reached for her towel.

“Ruka, I have feelings for you.”

She nearly slipped, stumbling over the wet floor. She was relieved that Mae, in the changing room, couldn't see her moment of shocked clumsiness. “What?” With only a second thought, she realized she shouldn't be surprised.

“I want you to look at me like you look at him. I know you have a mate, but I could do what he does for you.”

“I,” she swallowed, “don't think of you that way.”

Mae was silent again. Ruka's heart was pounding. What kind of day was this?

“Right I-I'm sorry.”

“You don't have to apologize. I'm sorry I don't, I just…” she wanted to make Mae feel better. She wrapped the towel around herself, contemplating. “I'm sure you'll make a fine mate for another alpha, if that's what you want. You're pretty and smart. I just don't think I would be a good match for you.” Drying off helped warm her body after the cold shower.

“I think you would,” Mae argued. She tapped the door of the changing room and Ruka looked up, half expecting her to come in. “We're both smart and talented. You're someone I admire. If I were an omega…”

Or maybe if you were an alpha, Ruka thought self-deprecatingly. This conversation was uncomfortable, and her lack of release earlier was getting to her. Pulling the towel tight around herself, she pushed the door open slowly, giving Mae time to step out of the way. Mae averted her gaze as Ruka started to get dressed.

“Are you going to see your mate after this?”

She shook her head. She had no doubt that telling Tadashi about this post-romp would help her a great deal, but it was getting late, and there was only so much leniency she could expect from her parents.

Mae clenched and unclenched her hands. “Are you going to tell him about this?”

Ruka hesitated. She had intended to, but not for the reasons Mae would assume. “He wouldn't care,” she managed. It was starting to gnaw at her that both of her friends had confessed to her about their crushes, and she hadn't done the same. She tried to offer something. “I don't think we're going to stay together.”

Mae’s eyes widened. “Why not?”

“We don't want to.”

“Oh,” Mae croaked.

“But that's a secret. Okay?”

Mae nodded, still processing. She was watching Ruka button up her shirt, thinking hard. “But your… nevermind.”

Ruka’s eyes flicked up, looking at her directly now. “My what?”

Her face reddened, and her gaze fell.

“Mae?”

“You said you sort it out with him…” she said quietly. “When you… after fighting with Shinjuro.”

Her face flushed. “Oh. I'll be okay.”

“I could help.”

Ah . Ruka couldn't tell if she should have foreseen this. Was this what happened with other people. Would Hata and Shinjuro-? Indignation colored her cheeks. They wouldn't! She had to believe that. Shinjuro liked someone else.

But so did Ruka, and her body didn't care. As long as she had a partner, it didn't matter who it was, said the ache between her legs. After all, she had slept with Tadashi plenty of times in the last few days just to get her nerves settled.

“Mae, I like sex, but it doesn't mean I'll like you like… like that. I don't even like my mate like that,” she blurted out.

Mae blinked in surprise. “Then why do you go to him when…”

“That's different,” Ruka pressed her skirt down, like she expected a breeze to blow it up and expose her. “It's not about him or his personality or body…” This was humiliating . “Didn't I tell you before? It's physical.”

Her eyes narrowed, suspicion pricking in her irises. Finally, she looked away. “I'm sorry.” She mumbled. 

Maybe she should humor Mae. Maybe she just didn't like omegas. Maybe a beta was what she needed. But Mae deserved better than to be an experiment.

“Maybe it's just physical for me, too,” Mae said, turning her back to Ruka. “I don't know.”

Ruka sat down, hands still on her skirt, and leaned her head forward, trying to get her blood to flow away from her groin. “

“I think I get it. I really do. About your alpha urges. Are you sure you don't want help?” Mae asked, still with her back to her. “

What she wanted was to die. But this was going to take a long time if her body didn't cooperate. She wasn’t sure Mae really understood, either. Or even if she did, understand, Ruka didn’t know if it would matter. Mae already felt the way she felt. Still, Ruka’s objections were growing feebler. Maybe sex was just something that Mae needed demystified. Still. “Mae, I shouldn't-”

“I'm going to think about what you said. Really. But we should go home. It's dark.”

Ruka breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. She licked her lips. “... Okay,” she sighed. Was there no way  A release. That’s all she needed. “Please, help me.”

Mae perked up, looking back at her with a smile. 

The walk back was awkward. She had a feeling Mae was not thinking about what she had said, only the two of them together. If Ruka wasn't so relieved, she would have tried to set things straight. Instead, she dropped Mae off at her house and trod home, emotionally and physically exhausted.

Her parents met her at the door with cautious expressions that shifted to disappointment when they caught a whiff of her. Her father grit his teeth, and her mother blinked and turned away.

“Where have you been?” Her father demanded.

She looked down and tilted her head to bare her throat. She should have known better. Of course they would be waiting for her. Of course they would smell Mae. “I was with Mae and Hata.”

“Instead of your alpha meeting?” Her father asked.

“They visited. Just guests.” 

He caught her by the chin and tilted her head up, looking into her eyes. “Don’t lie to me, Ruka,” he adjured. 

“I’m not,” Ruka said, feeling compelled to respond truthfully. She tried, in her mind, to brace herself against her father’s influence.

“And what else did you do?”

Ruka cringed. She didn’t want to say, but she her lips moved obediently. The words slipped through her tight throat. “Mae and I…”

Her mother made a choking noise and fled the room.

“Ruka, you are an alpha. You have an omega to take care of. You can’t mate with anyone else.

Nausea was building, straw after straw on the back of her humiliation. “That’s not what we did,” she rasped, desperate to placate them. “I couldn’t have gotten her pregnant.”

“And what about loyalty and duty?” he said coldly. “What would Tadashi think?”

Her throat felt dry. She couldn’t tell him what Tadashi would think. That would be a real betrayal. She bit her tongue until it bled, forcing it to be still.

“Control. Your. Self.” He leaned close. “Don’t turn my daughter into a whore.” He let go of her chin and walked away from her. “You’ve indulged enough today. You don’t need dinner. Go to bed.”

Ruka walked to her room robotically. She closed the door slowly behind her, and leaned her back against it. Looking at her hands, she realized she was shaking. Her fingers wouldn’t hold still. Her breaths rattled her frame. Balling her hands in front of her eyes, she sank to the floor. Don’t cry. Don’t. Control yourself. Don’t…

Chapter Text

Ruka’s mother sat down beside her at the breakfast table and stroked her hair. 

Her touch could have been enough to make Ruka flinch. Her mother hadn’t said anything last night, but it seemed fair that she would. She would be justified if she wanted to scold Ruka, wouldn’t she? But flinching would only hurt her mother more. Ruka held still and waited for the hammer to fall.

“Ruka, my dear,” she said gently. “Your father and I talked last night, and we think it’s best that you not go to your alpha meetings anymore.”

Ruka nodded, staring ahead and sipping her tea. She had to focus on the action. She didn’t want to shake or cry. Losing her meetings wasn’t surprising, but she wished she had just been yelled at.

Her mother kissed her temple and hugged her gently. “We’re just looking out for you. You’ll understand one day.”

Ruka expected her feelings toward Mae coalesce into hate or blame, so she could cast her guilt on someone else. Instead, when she saw her waiting at their corner the next morning with Hata, she only felt a moment of hesitation. Mae perked up and waved, the motion uncharacteristically stilted and awkward. Hata smiled brightly. Warmth returned to Ruka, along with affection and irritation and the other intricacies of familiarity. Her friends hadn’t changed. They were still her pack. She could figure this out. Freed from her mire of misery, she started thinking of solutions.

After school, she went to Tadashi’s. Instead of retreating to his room, she asked to take Tadashi out to dinner. Sitting in the booth at a diner, Ruka explained, “My parents think I’m sleeping with my friends.”

“Are you?” Tadashi spun his straw in his glass.

“Sort of. They’re angry. They say I can’t see Shinjuro anymore.”

Tadashi frowned. “You didn't sleep with him,” he guessed.

That made her cheeks warm. “No. But they still don't think meeting with other alphas is good for me. Can you come with me from now on? They probably won't question it if I’m going out with you.”

He cringed. “I guess.”

“Is there something wrong?”

Leering at his glass, he pushed an ice cube down and watched it float back up. “I'm sensitive to alpha rut, you know.”

“I… didn't consider that.” Hair stood on the back of her neck. She didn't feel possessive of Tadashi like a mate would, not exactly, but his clear discomfort did jab at her instinctual protectiveness. Thinking about Shinjuro being the source of that discomfort, made her blood boil. She took a breath to calm herself. “Would you go into heat?”

“Maybe. I don't know. I'm more worried that he'll jump me.”

Ruka's vision reddened, rage pressing in from the edges of her eyes. “He wears a muzzle. And I will be there.”

“I don't mean trying to fuck me. Haven't you thought about it like-” He took a deep breath and blew air from his nose slowly. “You know, if he likes you, too, how do you think an alpha in rut will react to someone else who's slept with their potential mate?”

Potential mate. If he likes me too. “I wouldn't let him hurt you. But I understand if you don't want to be there.” She wanted Shinjuro to herself. But she needed to keep this hidden. At least until she had made another plan to safely explore her… disobedient proclivities. Tadashi could help. They would never expect her mate to help her cover up sexual deviance.

Not that this was sexual deviance. She didn't even know if Shinjuro liked her, or could like her that way.

“I told you I would come. I should probably get used to alpha musk, anyway. Besides.” He cracked a playful smile. “I bet you look good when you fight.”

Ruka slipped a note of warning, explaining the situation in short, into Shinjuro's locker the next morning. She walked Mae and Hata home, and then picked Tadashi up for dinner. She had packed extra for them to eat, and incense to burn to help him deal with the scent.

He carried it as they walked, the thin line of smoke wafting back into his face. “I feel like I'm going to some ritual,” he joked.

Ruka just hummed. She had been keeping upwind; she didn't want her nose numbed. “You should keep your distance from him.”

“I plan to.”

When they strolled around the school, Shinjuro was waiting. His hair was fluffed but his shirt was, unfortunately, on. He trotted up to Ruka and stopped short about a meter away. He bristled and snarled. The sound was muffled by his leather muzzle. 

Ruka bared her teeth right back and growled, “Don't make me chase you off again.”

He shrank back. She realized his eyes were still on Tadashi. Stepping between them, she warned Shinjuro, “I'll never forgive you if you hurt Tadashi.”

His eyes went wide and shiny. “I'm sorry, Ruka… Tadashi.” He dipped his head.

Tadashi was already retreating to sit by the wall, his dinner in tow. He waved dismissively.

Shinjuro watched him go, trying and failing to keep bitterness from his expression. “So that's your mate…”

“For now.” Ruka said, dropping into a challenge crouch. “We're better as friends.”

He crouched on reflex. Something sparked in his eyes as he processed her words, and he sprang forward. They collided and wrestled. Shinjuro flaunted and flared. He pinned her like he had in front of Hata and Mae, stretching her, pulling her back into an arch. His muzzle pressed into her neck. “Ruka, I wish we were doing this alone,” he murmured.

Her blood rushed. He was so close, manipulating her body, talking right to her. She could hardly catch her breath, even when he sprang away.

“That's not for you!” He snapped at Tadashi.

Ruka had nearly forgotten him. Tadashi was poking at another lunchbox that had been sitting by the wall- Shinjuro's it seemed.

“I'm not taking anything!” Tadashi snapped. “Territorial, much?”

“Be nice,” Ruka responded belatedly, trying to sound cool. She was trying to enjoy this, but Shinjuro was being much less charming than usual- his wonderful scent excepted.

Shinjuro cringed at her light scolding and dipped his head at Tadashi. “I'm sorry.”

“Shinjuro, are you always like this when you're in rut?” Her eyebrows pulled into a scowl.

“I'm sorry,” he repeated, shrinking further.

“You need to behave if you're going to be in public during your rut. And I want you to be here. That means you need to get better.”

Shinjuro was panting behind his muzzle, stinking bitterly of stress. Ruka's parents had told her that it could be hard for alphas to bear criticism when they were in rut. She knew herself how it felt almost physically painful. But Shinjuro needed to do better or he would get himself in trouble. She rubbed her wrists together and approached.

He took a step back and bared his neck, but she caught him by the muzzle, one hand on either side. He bridled, eyes flicking around in confusion. She could tell he wanted to fight about it. The pheromones took longer to work on him, but soon his breathing slowed. He lowered his head closer to her, not inappropriately so, but in the range where she would expect him to feel crowded.

“Wow, you… you got really good at that,” he murmured, eyes politely averted.

“I can't do this all the time. You need to calm yourself down next time. You can't yell at or jump at my friends.”

“I'm sorry,” he said again.

“I don't want an apology. I want to see you try. I know it isn't easy, but you can do it. Think about everyone individually, not just how your rut groups them into pack members or intruders.”

He took a deep breath. “I'll try.”

She slowly released him. “Is there a reason your lunchbox is off limits, or is it just yours ?”

She wished he was wearing his metal muzzle so she could see his expression better. He sighed. “It's just dinner… for all of us. But I want to get it out when you're eating.”

There was some challenge in feeding another alpha and their mate. Instinctively, she knew that. But she was impressed, anyway, that he had gotten a meal together with so little notice. 

She didn't realize until Shinjuro straightened, eyes brightening, that she had smiled. “Okay, let's work up an appetite.”

Saliva gathered in Ruka’s mouth. She kept swallowing. Shinjuro’s rut scent made her feel hot and wet. Tadashi was easier to forget than Mae and Hata. It was almost like they were alone. Almost. Shinjuro pinned her and pressed his muzzle against her neck. He nuzzled the sensitive skin instead of his earlier attempts at biting. It calmed him, she had noticed. He was behaving. His attention was on her, not Tadashi. She wanted to keep it. She wanted to keep him. It was getting darker and colder, and he was warm, his body draped over hers like a blanket. His heart beat against her chest; his lungs filled and hers emptied.

Her fingers felt cold, though. Detached. She reached up and ran them through his hair. So warm and soft… He lifted his head and leaned into her touch with a short mrip of surprise. The action exposed his throat. She looked up at his bare skin, flushed with exertion. The muscles of his neck stood out in light and shadow. Her gaze followed the line down his neck to his collarbone, where the transition was surprisingly soft. Tracing it to his shoulders led to a more dramatic hollow, where the lean muscle was still filling in with a more mature physique.

Ruka whimpered. She didn't mean to. She didn't even realize she made the noise until Shinjuro jumped off her. 

He darted several yards away, ran in a couple tight circles and turned back to her. “Let's eat dinner!” His voice cracked halfway through ‘eat.’

Tadashi snorted in amusement.

Shinjuro wrinkled his nose, but managed not to growl. “I'm getting my food out,” he announced. It was a disclaimer so Ruka didn't intercept him from getting close to Tadashi.

Mortified, She swallowed. Flashing a glance at Tadashi, she saw that he was grinning at her wide and toothy. Her gaze quickly fell.

Shinjuro bounced over, tossing his hair and breathing hard. “I bought this for you,” he said breathily. “I mean, with everything else. But this is a treat.” He held up both hands to reveal a small, decorative box. The top was already open, revealing a glassy, earthy green cube.

Ruka hadn’t realized how hungry she was. She accepted the matcha yōkan with delight, and he popcorned before scampering back to his lunchbox. He poured tea, which was now lukewarm, for her and Tadashi, and set out food for both of them from his box. “I brought dinner for Tadashi,” she said. She didn’t know if she should be annoyed or not, but Shinjuro was cute in his eagerness to serve, and this was better than him being territorial.

“I wanted to help,” he said. His breath hadn’t slowed even while they were resting. His hands fidgeted with his chopsticks, but he just watched Ruka.

“You should eat, too.” She said, smiling sheepishly. She looked away, but she wished she could drink in his attention. “I know it’s hard when you’re in rut, but it’s good for you.”

“You’re right,” he agreed, rocking back on his haunches where he sat in the grass. He removed his muzzle, picked up one of the bentos from his box, and took a bite. 

She could feel his eyes on her as they ate, and she did her best to have her best manners. Meal finished, she finally picked up her matcha yōkan and sliced off a tiny sliver of sweetness. The mix of bitter matcha and sweet sugar paired well with the tea. Purring, she cut another slice. Carefully, until only a small corner was left. Not wanting to appear greedy, she left the remaining piece in the box and looked directly at Shinjuro, meeting his eyes for the first time since they had started eating. “Thank you, Shinjuro, that was wonderful.”

His eyes sparkled. “I can get you more,” he said stupidly. Tadashi’s chortle made him jump. Snapping his gaze to Tadashi, he chuffed. But he turned back to Ruka. “I finished eating,” he said, tipping his cleaned dish at her.

“What? Do you want me to call you a good boy?” Ruka asked, covering her smile.

Shinjuro flushed. She could see the color in his ears.

I want to kiss him. Ruka shook herself free of her desires. “We better go, Tadashi.” She started picking up her things. “I need to shower before we get home.”

Tadashi had packed up most of the leftovers already. He stood and stretched before collecting her lunchbox.

“G… goodnight,” Shinjuro said, standing when Ruka did. He and Tadashi followed her to the door of the changing rooms, and Tadashi went inside.

Ruka hummed in acknowledgement. She wanted Shinjuro to join her. She wanted him instead of Tadashi. She wanted him to see her. She looked him directly in the eyes. 

He met her gaze, looking down at her.

“... Goodnight, Shinjuro.”

“Goodnight,” he echoed. 

“I'll see you tomorrow,” she said.

His gaze flicked over her head, at the door behind her, before returning to her, and he nodded. “Get home safe.”

Was he thinking about Tadashi? Or was he thinking about the fact that Ruka would be with him? Her heart pounded. Taking a deep breath, she backed into the changing room.

As soon as the door closed, Tadashi's arms were around her. “Ruka that was so embarrassing to watch. You should've told me you two were dating.”

“We're not,” she said, dragging her shorts off.

“Yeah, but you should have said so. He definitely wants to.”

“He's just in rut. It's instinctive.” One of his hands slid beneath her shirt and the other between her legs. Instead of stroking her off, though, his fingers dipped lower. She shivered as they slipped over her entrance. Usually he didn't bother her there; she was too quick to mount him.

“And what's your excuse? Embarrassed to say, but I've never felt you so wet.”

She turned and kissed him, backing him to the bench of the changing room. 

He grunted as his legs went out from under him. “Ruka wait,” he gasped.

She pulled back. “What?”

“You're so wet. Don't waste that. Let me top.”

Her brows shot up. “Top?” She had never heard the word used that way, but she felt embarrassed for asking. She scrambled to communicate that she understood , she just wasn't sure if she agreed. “Why do you want to change things?”

“It just feels really fucking good for me, and you've never done it before, right?” With a teasing lilt to his voice as he added, “I bet if you got with Shinjuro, he’d go crazy over your pussy.”

Ruka put her whole hand over his face, embarrassed. “You’re so crude.” She was trying not to think of Shinjuro like that. She was failing. He was an alpha. A male alpha, even. He liked a girl. Maybe me, she thought hotly. He probably liked pussy. He probably wanted to pin her down and bury himself inside her, feel the heat of her body squeeze tight around him.

But didn’t that mean he wanted an omega? Omegas were made for that, their bodies hot and wonderful and she hadn’t even slept with one in heat yet.

“Ruka? I was just teasing. We don’t have to if you don’t-” he said from behind her hand.

“No, let’s try it. Have you had sex with omega girls before?”

He pushed her hand away and tilted his head curiously. “Yeah.”

She nodded pensively. “Okay. How should I do it?”

His back was still on the bench. He smiled up at her. “Why don’t you ride me? You control the speed, the depth.” One hand slipped up her thigh and gripped her ass. His other stroked his dick; it was standing. “Just let me get my condoms out.”

They both always wore condoms. Maybe it was wishful thinking on Tadashi’s part before now. Before this, she hadn’t expected that Tadashi could get her pregnant, but since Shinjuro mentioned pregnant alphas, she was grateful for his caution.

“Okay, so let’s get started.” Tadashi said, running his fingers up his covered length. He did the same for her, making her shiver.

Ruka straightened over him and lined him up with her entrance. Before she could lose her cool, she sunk down on him completely, until their hips met. It wasn't too difficult, but not completely comfortable. The pressure was like stretching a muscle just a little too far. There was instant relief in penetrating Tadashi, but this was different. There was a scandalous sensitivity, but it wasn’t pleasurable.

Tadashi’s mouth gaped. He put an arm over his face. “ Fuck, Ruka, you could have gone slower than that.”

“Does it feel bad for you?”

“It feels great,” he breathed, cupping her ass.

“I don’t like it.”

“Yeah, it can hurt if you go too fast.”

She hummed in acknowledgement. “How do we make it feel better?” Without relief, she was growing impatient.

He guided her hips in a cycling motion. He had ridden her before; she could recognize the pattern, but he was taking it very slow. She felt a pang of guilt. Was this why she had performed so poorly the first time? Had she hurt him?

“Think about Shinjuro,” Tadashi suggested. He lowered his voice, trying to mimic a croon. “I bet he’d love you hot and wet. Dig his nails into your ass-” he tightened his grip, nails biting, “Hit right where you like it.” Another couple thrusts, changing the angle, subtle probing, until finally, he did hit a spot Ruka hadn’t believed was there. A jolt went through her; her dick bounced, and she gasped. He ground up into the spot again, driving a whimper out of her. “Do you think he’d bite you?”

Ruka chewed her lip, imagining taking off Shinjuro’s muzzle and revealing his sharp canines. “Yes.” He would bite her. He would dig in hard, and lap the wounds with a hungry tongue. Nuzzle them until they stung and went numb. She panted, chasing that high. She wanted him! Wanted him so badly! The heavy musk of his rutty scent, the deep coloring of his cheeks, the curves and hard lines of his body. She imagined his muscles straining, his face contorting in pleasure. She bet it colored even deeper red when he came, blotches on his cheeks spreading until his skin was as fiery as the tips of his hair.

That was what he would want. An alpha filling his mate. Maybe she should have been born an omega so she could be with him. Then the image of turning the tables, flipping him beneath her, and biting into the softness of his skin, wouldn’t invade her thoughts. She grabbed her dick and stroked it, grip tight, clumsy, and unpracticed. Ruka didn’t masturbate. It would be too humiliating if her parents found out. A complete lack of self-control. Alpha instincts run wild and disgusting.

But she looked down at Tadashi’s face and his head was back, eyes pinched closed in ecstasy. His lips curled over his teeth, and his nostrils flared. His face colored bright. He was enjoying this. She was doing this right. Not losing control. This was what she should be doing with who she should be doing it with, even if she thought about Shinjuro. Even if she hoped he liked her and that they would be doing things wrong one day. Or right in the wrong way.

She gasped and shuddered, body convulsing. This was a deep orgasm, buried inside her and she didn’t know what to do with it. No emptying of herself, just her insides and feelings being whipped about. She dropped her forehead against his, moaning. “Shinjuro!”

Tadashi kept grinding into her, pace growing choppy as he chased his own high. Finally, he came with an incoherent cry. 

They laid there on the uncomfortable bench, catching their breaths. Relief came slowly, as her muscles unwound from the orgasm, instead of all at once like when she ‘topped,’ as Tadashi described it. She clambered off of him. The feeling of them parting felt so different on the other end. “We need to shower,” she said. “And we… We better do this again at home.”

Tadashi purred. “Sure.”

The next day at lunch, Shinjuro sat with Ruka, Hata, and Mae. Mae was on guard, leaning into Ruka’s side. Ruka allowed it. There wasn’t much conversation as they ate together. After school, Ruka asked her friends if they wanted to accompany her to the library. She collected a stack of books on the Kamakura period, and slipped in a dry looking period romance. If her parents found it, she would have an excuse. It was just a mistake. She didn’t want to read about alphas in a relationship together. She was studying history. Mae snuck an opportunity to kiss her between the shelves, the touch quick and coy.

As they walked, she pulled Tadashi’s sweater, loaned to her after their last tramp, out of her bag and shrugged it on. She said goodbye to her friends, headbutting each of them, and then rubbed the sweater over herself, covering any other scents as best as she could. It wasn’t perfect; omegas scents didn’t stick around as long as alpha scents did. However, it did the trick, and her parents didn’t stop her as she dropped her books off in her room.

After dinner, she spread the book amongst her textbooks and notes, and read it in snippets as she studied. Its language was outdated, and its nature was taboo, but it still made her feel hot and eager. Soon she was leaning over the book, face pressed close. Alpha courtship in the exchange of gifts, bared throats, and family negotiations sounded both scandalous and sensible. And the scenes where they touched each other- on the hand, on the shoulder, cheek to cheek, just short of a kiss, leaving their scent on each other like a mark, made her heart pound.

When she put the book down, it was late into the night. Her chest hurt. She had never wanted something so much. For a moment, just a moment, she savored the possibility.

And then she rubbed the warmth from her cheeks and shook her head. It took two to be in love. It would ruin them both if they acted on her feelings, and she would die if they were unrequited. Her parents would be furious. They would all be ridiculed.

She laid down amongst her books and papers, heart fluttering and stomach hollow.

The next day, Ruka picked up Tadashi before going to see Shinjuro.

“Do you mind if I go out on my own? I’m thinking about finding a date,” Tadashi asked.

She glanced at him out of the side of her eye. “Is that safe?”

He laughed. “Yeah, I’ll be careful. I’ll meet you behind the school?”

Ruka didn’t like being laughed at, but he had made his point. “Yeah, okay.” She wanted to be alone with Shinjuro, anyway. If his scent around the school was any indication, he was still in rut. Not that it meant anything in particular. She just missed her time alone with him.

“Have fun,” Tadashi teased, strolling his own way.

She picked up her pace. Shinjuro's scent hit her full force as she rounded the corner of the school. She hopped in excitement and then scrambled to look cool. He was standing still this time, combing through his hair and talking quietly to himself. His back was to her and he hadn't noticed her, thank goodness. She crept close, wondering if she could surprise him. Maybe he would run. Maybe she could chase him. Excitement stirred in her belly.

She was almost close enough to touch him when he straightened and spun. Ruka shot straight up and backtracked. 

Shinjuro chased her several steps before stopping himself and taking a few calming breaths. He had taken off his muzzle; probably not long ago. There were still lines on the sides of his face. Maybe he was changing from the metal to the leather one. She was happy to see his sheepish smile so close. She wanted to touch him.

“Wait, Ruka! I need my-my-” He swung his gaze around. Apparently, he had lost track of his muzzle.

She wouldn’t stop him from biting her without it, but she couldn’t force him into a situation like that. “You’re getting a lot better at controlling yourself.”

“Thank you,” he murmured, stooping to pluck his muzzle out of the grass. He looked up at her, eyes crinkling into a smile. The shade of his brows softened their glint into their now-familiar warm brown. “No one’s going to watch us today?”

“Tadashi will come around at the end.” She almost added that her mate was going out with someone else, but that wasn’t his business.

His expression fell. “Oh.”

“But we’ll have plenty of time… Alone .” That was too much emphasis. She bit her lip.

He perked up again and secured the latch of his muzzle. “Ok. Let’s start right away.”

Ruka’s body and mind performed two different dances. Be careful. Don’t touch him too much. Don’t sniff too loudly, she reminded herself while her hands slipped down his torso, she pressed her chest to his, and tipped her head to bear her neck. His scent grew muskier and heavier, making her heart hammer in her chest. Their wrestles felt as if they were in their own world, under a blanket of body heat and alpha musk. She hadn't realized how careful she was in front of her friends. Even Tadashi, who knew about her feelings, still made her cautious. Now no one was watching. Each time she beat him, she lingered a bit longer, and if her mind wasn't playing tricks on her, he did the same, nuzzling her neck.

She didn't think they had ever sparred so vigorously before. Ruka fought to pin him. His hair splashed over the grass, his head tipped back, and his chest swelled. Without an audience, he wasn't stretching and twisting Ruka, but he was still contorting himself to show off. Ruka wished she could look down at his surrender -really sit and drink it in- but her arms shivered and gave out under her; she collapsed onto his chest huffing. His heart hammered against her ear. His body was slick with sweat. So was hers. She didn't want to move. She liked the way his body curved under her, his warmth, his sweaty, musky odor, and the way his breathing moved her. She curled her head under his chin, savoring the contact. He would shake her off eventually; no alpha would tolerate another in their space like that. 

But his hand settled, with a slight shake, onto the small of her back. She fought the urge to make a mrrp sound like he had when she touched his hair. Laying on his chest after spending an evening sweating and talking with him, Ruka let her other thoughts and worries slip away. She breathed him in. Her body softened. 

“Um,” he breathed, the sound whistling a little through his leather muzzle. “Thanks for doing this with me.”

“Thank you, too,” she said. “I never would have done anything like this without you.”

He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing. “It's a lot of fun, sparring with you. With my parents it feels like work.”

She hummed in acknowledgement, letting the sound rise to a purr. He didn't talk about his parents a lot. “I wish my dad would spar with me. He's so…” Ruka just sighed. She shouldn't criticize her father. “He didn't teach me this. Not like your… dad?” She guessed. He hadn't specified which of his parents were the alpha. Sometimes “dad” was dubious, a man or an alpha. Ruka's father was both, but that wasn't always the case.

“They both taught me,” he said. “It feels like I can never relax. When I'm in rut, being home is… it doesn't feel good.”

Something clicked. Ruka shoved the thought into the back of her mind before it could quicken her heart rate. “I know the feeling,” she said. “Did they make you stay home the first few days of your rut?”

“Yeah. I was… They were right, but I'm glad I got to come to school eventually.”

“Me too.” She searched for questions to ask him about his family, ones he would answer.

“Hey, uh, Ruka?” His thumb rubbed nervously back and forth over her spine.

“Yes?” She pushed herself up to look at him, but she spotted Tadashi standing back by the wall behind him.

Shinjuro had been looking at her, and followed her gaze. Startling, he jumped up, taking Ruka to her feet with him.

She grabbed his hand before he could approach Tadashi. “What was that, Shinjuro?”

He looked back at her, blinking. “I, um…” his gaze flicked back to Tadashi. Pain entered his expression. “I consider you part of my pack.” With a tad of light-hearted irritation, he added, “Tadashi, too. I guess.”

“Oh.” Her lips twitched, almost smiling. “You’re part of my pack, too.”

He smiled crookedly at her. “I should get home…”

“Okay. Have a good night.” She watched him go, wishing she could go home smelling like him, too.

Tadashi strolled up after he was long gone. “You two looked like you were having fun,” he teased.

Her cheeks colored. She took his hand and pulled him to the shower room. Soon enough, she had him against the shower wall, fingers knuckle deep inside of him. He had smelled like some omega girl in heat; they were both due to get in trouble if they didn't clean up. She pressed her weight into him as she worked him over. He was wet enough that she knew he slept with his date, so it wasn't difficult to stretch him, but she wanted to take things slow and practice being gentle. She was still sore from taking his dick, and still guilty about being so rough with him before. She didn't want to make that mistake again.

He purred under her touch. “You're getting a lot better at this, Ruka.”

“Thank you.” She leaned into his neck. The last of that girl’s scent was flowing down the drain, now. “Can you tell me something?”

“Hm?” He asked, stroking himself indulgently.

“Why did you assume Shinjuro hit on me? Does he like alphas? Girls?”

Tadashi laughed. “I mean you know he likes girls.”

She curled her fingers, and his hips rolled forward with a whimper. “But alphas?” 

He breathed hard. “Maybe. It would run in the- family,” he gasped. “Is this an interrogation?”

“What do you mean?”

He opened his mouth only to keen, face coloring. His dick dribbled only a few drops, even though his legs shook. She supposed omegas were more easily spent, and he had already come at least once for his date. He sank, huffing, to sit on the shower floor.

Ruka petted his hair. She hoped standing directly in front of his face communicated what she wanted. “Tell me what you mean.”

“His family is like that, you know. Traditional. ” He said the word with weight but not judgment.

“Traditional.”

He leaned into her thighs, hooking one arm around, and smiled at her lustily. “You know? They do it like samurais.” He said it like it was slang, and not from a historical perspective. Before she could confirm what he meant, he licked up the length of her opening, making her stand rod straight. “You had to know that by now.”

Ruka cradled his face and guided him to her cock. She needed him to be quiet. It was so obvious now. That was what Shinjuro was hiding. He had no reason to see her as a freak. Everything she had said until now came with the assumption that his parents were like hers- an alpha and an omega. She felt dizzy with the sudden breadth of opportunity. Breathless. He could like her. It was like the romance in her historical fiction. Eagerness surged through her. This can work! This can really work! The realization, relief, and joy turned physical, until she was gasping, her hands against the wall, and her body shaking.

Tadashi pulling away, coughing, reminded her where she was. “Warning next time,” he croaked, wiping his mouth.

“I'm sorry,” she said sincerely.

His gaze snapped up to her like he might be irritated, but her expression amused him enough to let it go. “Did you really not know?” He asked, rinsing off his face.

“I feel like the most stupid girl alive.”

She accompanied Tadashi home, and made up for her earlier rudeness by sucking him off before she mounted him. He stroked her hair, coaching her through it, but he soon went wordless and boneless. That was fine; his moaning didn't need to be articulate to make it clear that this was something she got right on the first try. He tasted sweet, no more pungent than slick. Boring, but she valued the experience.

A couple of romps later, Tadashi tapped out. Ruka paced around the room, hoping he would recover soon. She was too excited about her realization to relax.

“You're really insatiable,” he said tiredly. “M’done for tonight. Even my mate wasn't this needy and she was in heat.”

Ruka did her best not to pout. “Is that true?”

“I wouldn't say it if it wasn't.” He stretched and rubbed his feet, they must be sore from his curling toes.

“It must be an alpha thing,” she guessed.

He considered. “I've only been with one other alpha girl, but she only liked knotting once and sitting around like that.”

Ruka had never knotted him. She felt suddenly self-conscious. “Oh.”

“But it could be an alpha thing,” he agreed belatedly, still flexing his toes. “Dunno.”

“It's getting late anyway, I should go home. Goodnight, Tadashi.”

He gave her a lazy smile. “Goodnight.”

Ruka returned home, smelling strongly of Tadashi and a little nervous. Was there even more wrong with her than her attraction to Shinjuro or was this normal? Was it because she didn't love Tadashi like she was supposed to? Asking her parents was embarrassing, but it would have to happen. She needed to know.

The courage didn't come as she helped her father prepare dinner and her mother set the table. This is silly. It's a simple question. But as she sat at the dinner table, her parents chatted first.

“I knew you and Tadashi would get along,” her mother said. “Didn't I do a good job choosing him, my love?”

Her father nodded. “I admit I had my doubts, but they both seem very well acclimated. Is that right, Ruka?”

“Yes, father,” she answered automatically. She opened her mouth to go on, but he had gotten the answer he wanted and so powered forward.

“His parents agreed. They have nothing but praise for our Ruka.”

“It's not too soon for a wedding is it?” Her mother asked.

Ruka felt queasy. She shoveled more food into her mouth to cover up the feeling.

“We'll have to discuss it with his parents.” She felt his gaze on her. “We shouldn't wait too long, though. We don't want any surprises…”

Her mother huffed. “It won't be a surprise to anyone. We'll all know the next time he goes into heat. I just can't wait until I have grandchildren. Brand new pups,” she cooed.

How could they talk about her like this? Her skin burned with humiliation. “We use condoms,” she piped up.

“Ah,” her father said. 

She couldn't tell if he approved or not, and the sound made her shrink more. She glanced toward her mother from the side of her eye.

Her mother was nonplussed, enjoying her meal and completely ignorant- or maybe uncaring- of Ruka's embarrassment.

Ruka would not ask them about knotting. It seemed that her sex life was a topic of discussion among them and Tadashi's parents already. If they mentioned this… 

She wished her life would end. She wished she could run away. She wished she could be anywhere but here.

Chapter Text

Ruka was still shaken the next morning when Mae took her arm. “Ruka,” she said, leaning close. “You look a little tense. Maybe I can help you relax.” She blinked up at her, trying to be flirty.

“Thanks, Mae,” she sighed, leaning into her. 

She could smell Mae’s excitement wane and give way to concern. “Hey, are you feeling alright?”

“My parents want me to get married.”

Mae tensed. “But you said… Wait, that's not fair!”

“I don't know what to do,” Ruka said. “It’s what our parents want.”

Hata arrived at the corner. “Good morning.” Taking one look at their faces, she frowned. “What's wrong?”

“My parents want me to get married.”

She expected Hata to react enthusiastically, to assure Ruka that she must just be nervous. Instead, Hata put on a cautious expression. “...Do you know how soon?”

Ruka shook her head. “I shouldn't worry so much about it. It's… good. Both of our families will be happy.”

Hata was unconvinced. “Maybe you can do something before then.”

Ruka swallowed and motioned them to follow her to school. What could she do? She wanted to come clean. Get all her things in order before… Ruka's shoulders shook humorously. “It's funny. I feel like my life is ending. I should be grateful.”

“If you don't like Tadashi, then you shouldn't have to marry him,” Hata said.

“I don’t… dislike him.” She took a deep breath. Say it. Tell them. “I just.” Ruka swallowed, her throat tight. “I don't like him like that . I don't think I like omegas like that.” 

The air shifted around them. They were almost to school. Ruka looked straight ahead. It was only part of the truth. She would confess to them soon. Baby steps.

Finally, Hata said, “Let's focus on one problem at a time, alright?” She squeezed Ruka's arm. “Maybe you could pretend to be sick…”

Her friends had, for the most part, ignored what she said. Hata brainstormed increasingly convoluted and unlikely plans to stop a marriage. Mae tried to be subtle about nuzzling Ruka affectionately. Ruka had to set things straight with them, but she was exhausted by the prospect, and scared what they would think. Maybe they would hate her. Maybe they would regard her with disgust. She dropped a note in Shinjuro's locker. Hopefully it wasn't too desperate, asking for them to meet again.

But when Ruka went to fetch Tadashi, she was turned away by his parents. He was in heat, again, and it was best he not go out. They didn't explicitly say she couldn't come in, but she politely excused herself anyway. Her parents would know that she wasn't with him. She started to pant with anxiety as she walked back to the school. She couldn't go without this. She really could not handle a tighter leash.

Ruka stopped and bought a steamed bun, but she had been too upset to eat even once that day. Shinjuro had looked worn out after his rut. It would be good for him.

Shinjuro was sprawled across the grass when she arrived. His arms were spread, and he was enjoying the unusually sunny day. Ruka hadn't even noticed it was sunny until she saw the light bouncing off his face and highlighting his hair against the grass. Swallowing, she approached with the bun.

“Hey, Shinjuro.” She knelt beside him. “I got this for you.”

“For me?” He smiled. Ruka took in the beauty of his mouth: the soft pink curve of his lips and the sharp ivory of his fangs, even when he tried to hide them politely. She had missed his little smile when it was locked behind his muzzle. Even though his eyes still had their kind, sensitive, crinkle and their soft brown to intense fiery glow, it wasn't the same. 

How had she ever denied her feelings for him? 

He sat up, unbothered when it brought him close to her. “Thank you, Ruka. I don't know if I'll put up a really good fight today, but I'm happy we're meeting.” He tore into the bun with post-rut hankering.

Her lips felt dry. She needed to talk to him. Tell him.

His eyes flicked over her face, shining gold and red with thoughtful intensity. “No Tadashi today. Are you okay?”

“He's in heat,” she said too quickly. “I might get in trouble for meeting you, but it's okay.”

Shinjuro frowned at her in concern as he crumpled up the bun wrapper. “What's going on?”

“I want to spar,” she said, unable to confess to him. Not yet, but soon. “And talk.”

His brow furrowed. The idea to be stubborn crossed his features, but he nodded. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?”

“Our families.” He knew about hers, but she explained, as she stood. “My mom is an omega. She gave birth to me. And my dad is an alpha.” 

He stood, more eager to wrestle than to share, but he managed, “My mom gave birth to me, too.” He crouched.

“And they're both alphas, right?”

His eyes flashed with panic, he started to straighten, but when she crouched, he kept his challenge posture. It was easy to put him down; he was shaken, and reeked of nerves. Eyes averted, he tried to talk, but it caught in his throat.

“I wish you had told me sooner.” His unease was making her more nervous, too. What if he didn't like her? Just because he could, it didn't mean he did. She released him and stood, trying to shake the anxiety away. When he didn’t rise after her, she extended a hand to him.

Shinjuro flinched at her extended hand before realizing what she was doing. He blinked at her. “You’re not mad?”

“No.” Slowing her breathing, she tried to calm down enough to produce soothing pheromones. She failed.

Slowly reaching up, he took her hand. His grip was light at first, but grew tighter, and he was slow to let go once he was on his feet. “I thought you would be mad,” he murmured.

She shook her head and examined her hands. “I… read a book about samurai romance. I liked it a lot.”

His eyebrows rose slowly. His expression was pensive as he put together what she was trying to communicate. When she challenged him again, he accepted.

Their next wrestle, he did much better, relief making him lithe and strong. She still managed to best him, but he smiled at her when he hit the grass.

“What’s it like?” she asked.

“Uhm,” he breathed, “a little overbearing. My parents ask me about girls instead of omegas.”

She wanted to knead him, to be soft and gentle and warm. Laying on his chest, she took a deep breath. Her mind bounced to a few questions that were easier than Do you like me? “So are there only alphas in your family? Don’t they fight?”

“My dad is in charge, so my mom doesn’t go into rut very often. They spar like we do.” His hand hovered between her shoulderblades. She could feel its warmth, but he wasn’t touching her yet. “It’s… harder for me, now that I’m going into rut. But they don’t let me do anything bad.”

“Is your hair that color because you’re all alphas?”

His chest bounced as he huffed with amusement, and his hand closed the distance to rest on her back. “Everyone on my dad’s side of the family has this hair color, but they’re all alphas, too. So… maybe. But there’s also a ritual mothers do, and once my dad told me it was about something my distant ancestors ate.” The answers flooded out of him, like he had wanted to tell her all along.

But Ruka still couldn’t confess her feelings. He must be a better alpha than her, if being an alpha meant being brave. “Let’s spar again.” She lifted herself off of him. If I win one more time … Then I’ll say it. That was a good promise, she assured herself. She felt certain of it.

Shinjuro was much more ready this time, though. No longer weighed down by his secret, he was hard to pin. They wrestled with grunts and growls, rolling across the grass. She couldn't be mad at his sincere efforts, but she wanted to win. She wanted to tell him, and her conviction grew with her struggles. She bared her teeth and snarled. Springing away for just a moment, she leaped at him again.

Shinjuro turned his shoulder towards her and let her take him to the ground, buckling sideways with a laugh. The sound was cut off, though, by a yelp. Ruka immediately jumped off him. It only took a moment for her to smell blood. 

He rolled over. “I'm okay,” he said quickly. “Don't worry!” His hand went to his knee, and he plucked something out. Blood dripped down his leg. “I just landed on…” he tilted his head at what he had pulled out and smiled crookedly.

When he held it out, her face paled. It was her lost canine; covered in his blood, it looked as fresh as the day she had lost it. I thought I buried that! “Sit still,” she commanded. She hurried to her bag and dug for her first aid kit. When she returned, she cleaned the wound, a deep but otherwise small scratch, thoroughly. She made sure to bleed it and remove any dirt or debris, dabbed it with ointment, and placed a bandage over it.

Shinjuro was silent throughout, even when she cleaned it deeply. Knelt in front of him, she had focused on his injured knee. He had sat, unmoving, knees up and hands back. She finally looked at him over them.

He was leaning back on his hands, looking at her with wide eyes and fluffed hair. His eyes twinkled beautifully. She couldn't imagine why he looked so starry, but it was a gorgeous expression on him, and suddenly her heart was pounding.

“Ruka, will you marry me?” He blurted out.

Silence hung between them. 

Slowly, color rose in his cheeks. He turned redder and redder. His starry look fled, replaced with one of panic. He opened his mouth.

She could tell her expression hadn't changed when she said, “yes, I'll marry you.”

Whatever he had been about to say died in his throat. “... Really?” He squeaked.

Smiling nervously, she asked, “You-you meant it right?”

 He let out a breath and dropped his face to his knees. No longer focused on his wound, she noticed the anxiety that had rolled off him had shifted to a rush of flowery sweetness. He might as well be screaming I'm happy! I'm happy!

He meant it. He's not teasing me. She let her own happiness seep out and leaned her head against the top of his. “I… like you a lot.” She murmured. “My parents want me to marry Tadashi, but I don’t want to.”

His hair spiked. His scent grew dark, reminding her of cedar and amber. Possessive and harsh. “I’ll have my parents talk to yours. If you agreed-”

“No.” She jerked her head away. “No, no, my parents…” They would be furious. She would disappoint them.They wouldn’t allow it. She closed down, reeling her scent in, getting it under control. 

When she lifted her head, Shinjuro did, too, and looked her in the eyes with helpless disappointment. “They wouldn’t agree? I know it’s different, but my family is still good and honorable.”

“I’ll convince them,” she said. “If your family offered anything to them, they’ll see it as you trying to buy me. My father needs to initiate it.” Ruka could imagine her father’s thinking on the matter: paying for access to Ruka’s womb, for the privilege to treat her like an omega. That wasn’t the way it would be. But it’s how he would see it. She didn’t know if her mother would agree, but she might cry regardless. “I’ll… convince them.” She had decided she would do it, so she would. Somehow.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. “Okay. I… looking at you… thinking about you makes me feel stupid. So I trust you better. I mean. You’re smarter, so you can. I trust you,” he rambled. “...” He straightened suddenly. “But if you need me, you can tell me. I… I want to help,” he said, face burning.

Ruka sighed. He wasn’t releasing any calming pheromones. He wasn’t calm. He was just holding her. It was as much to comfort him as it was to comfort her. But it was helping. My mate. Mine, she thought, nuzzling into him. He wanted to marry her. He liked her like she liked him. She felt dizzy.

Shinjuro was just as intent on snuggling and scenting her as she was him. There was a moment where she considered that this might be moving fast, but they had already been snuggling, without calling it as much, for the last week. She had already felt this way, and it seemed like he had, too.

“You know,” she murmured, “most people ask different questions before they propose.” She looked up at him, a dram of mischief in her eyes.

He met her eyes before his gaze flicked down, then up to her lips. “I, um, I panicked. But you said yes, so…” His cheeks were still bright red.

“I was trying to figure out how to tell you how I felt.”

“I thought you were going to when we first met. I was so excited. But you attacked me, instead, and you hated me and I just… I wanted to change your mind,” he babbled.

She giggled and he smelled bright and happy again, his moods transparent- embarrassingly so. She was about to say something more, reiterate how she liked him, when she felt a raindrop hit her head.

She looked up, and he followed her gaze. Overhead, the sun was hidden by clouds. She hadn't noticed with her attention on Shinjuro. Now that they had noticed it, the sky rumbled at them.

Shinjuro growled at it and hastily swallowed the sound. “We're going to get rained on,” he said, trying to cover for the reaction.

Ruka was grateful for the rain. If it rained hard enough, it would leave her smelling clean. And then her parents would only question where she had been, not who she had been with. It made her feel bold. Climbing to her feet, she helped him up and led him to the changing room. “Do you want to come inside with me?”

He puffed, but bravely said, “Yeah.”

She pulled him inside. This was as close as she had to territory, in this context, and now she felt the urge to show off. “I shower after our meetings," she said, releasing his hand. “I hope you don't mind.”

His eyes flickered over her body. And he quickly looked back up at her face and shook his head.

She turned her back to him, as if heading to the shower, and pulled her shirt off over her head.

A sharp inhale. She looked back early enough to see him stand on his toes and croon wordlessly before his face flushed. Shoes squeaking against the tiles, he darted for the door. In his rush, he pulled it right into his foot, preventing him from opening it, crashed into it with a thunk, and fell back on his rump.

“Shinjuro!” She gasped, rushing to his side.

He put his hands over his face and pulled his knees to his chest, mortification rolling off him: a bitter scent that put Ruka off. It couldn't completely overshadow his tangy arousal. “I'm fine,” he said. “You're-you’re very pretty!”

“You're allowed to look.” She wanted him to look at her. She wanted him to do more than look.

“Too pretty,” he gasped. “Ruka, I- please. If I see you like that I'm going to do more than I should.”

“I didn't even take my bra off.”

“We'll get in trouble if I bite you,” he insisted, voice cracking.

Ruka hesitantly left his side to pluck her shirt off the floor where it had fallen. Chastised, she put it back on. At least he thinks I'm pretty, she reminded herself. If he tried to run like that and the door didn't stop him, she would have to fight the urge to chase him down. That would be bad, since he was more flighty than she expected. She didn't want to scare him. She didn't want to misbehave so badly that he thought she was some sort of deviant. “I'm dressed, Shinjuro,” she said apologetically.

He opened his eyes, but didn't look directly at her. “I'm sorry,” he murmured. “I-I want to, um…” he trailed off. Finally, he managed, “Can I kiss you?”

Her heart fluttered. She could hardly get her body to cooperate. This was probably what he felt when he ran from her- overwhelmed, it felt like too much to want this.

“Ruka?” he asked, voice withered.

“Yes,” Ruka choked out. “Please. Just a moment, please.” Legs like jelly, she went into the shower area, so there was a door between them. She wanted to scream. What was this? Nothing made her feel like this before, and she hadn't even kissed him yet! She worked to slow her breathing, hand to her chest. “I'm good. I'm good,” she whispered to herself. Finally, she stepped out again.

Shinjuro was standing by the door, looking uncertain. She walked up to him and looked up at him, close enough to feel his warmth. She considered taking his hand, but he was already reaching up. His fingers, with a slight tremor, landed gently on her cheek. He leaned in, her eyes fluttered closed. She held her breath; there was just enough hesitation that she was starting to feel dizzy when his lips lightly brushed hers. They were warm, a bit chapped, and gentle; his touch was no more substantial than his scent; she didn't taste him like she had when she bit him. She regretted her failure to breathe until their lips parted. She could have enjoyed his scent longer. Now it came to her in a deep whoosh of relief and cedar and sweat. 

Ruka's knees weakened. She leaned into his chest. His arms settled around her, and she wasn't sure which one of them started purring first. Wedging her head under his chin, she sniffed his neck, along his collarbone and up to his jaw.

“ Ruka,” he warned quietly, the ‘r’ stretched by his half growl, half purr. Shinjuro wouldn't move with her teeth so close to his throat. Not until she sighed and, lightning quick, nipped the side of his neck.

She sprang away when he jumped, yelping. Ruddiness filled his cheeks, and he chased after her.

Giggling, she danced away. When he paused, she challenge posed and growled playfully. If only they could wrestle without hurting themselves on the tiled floor. If only she could chase him. He chased her around the changing room, then into the shower room. He caught her at the far wall, pinning her wrists beneath the inert faucets. She wriggled, and in retaliation, he squashed her against the tiles with his whole body, squeezing the breath out of her.

Not just her breath, but a sound that made them both pause. He didn't dart this time, but the color in his cheeks was starting to look alarmingly bright, and his face was starting to look conflicted.

Ruka didn’t want to embarrass him. She knew she should quiet down and keep her distance. Instead, she took a page from his book to settle herself. She asked, “Shinjuro, may I kiss you?”

The conflict in his expression disappeared. He mashed his lips against hers with such clumsiness, she was certain that he had practiced their first kiss and not this one. Their noses knocked, and he tilted his head so their faces could lock together. Ruka’s nose ached from the collisions, and she breathed through only one nostril, the other squished shut by his nose. Needily, he pressed closer, grinding against her. Ruka whimpered again, chewed his lip hungrily.

He shuddered. “We're going to get in trouble.” But his words stayed mumbled against her mouth. “I feel like I'm dreaming.” 

Blood flavored Ruka’s lips and tongue, but Shinjuro didn’t seem to notice that one of them was bleeding. Ruka was too enamored to find its source. Deep inside her, something had rushed forth at the first drop of blood. Mine. A wet line dragged across her cheek as Shinjuro, without pulling away, slipped his lips across her face and down to her neck. He nosed her chin, and she tilted her head back, baring her throat. He kissed up and down her neck, from the tip of her chin to her collarbone and back up, his touch sloppy and wet. As he moved down to her neck glands, his nips grew rougher: more teeth than lip.

She thrust a hand into his hair. Fingers closing tight on the locks, she pushed into him and whimpered, “ Shinjuro.”

Snapping upright, he said with more clarity, “I should get my muzzle-” His eyes were wild and a line of crimson was rolling from his nose. More was smeared across his lips, chin, and cheeks. Their kiss hadn’t been that violent, had it?

“You will control yourself,” Ruka asserted, jerking him back against her neck by his hair. Commanding someone whose lips were at her throat was a bizarre experience, but an exciting one. She wanted more of it. He went rigid against her. Her hand snaked around him to keep him close. “I waited a long time for this,” she said. “Unless…” she faltered, realizing she needed to control herself , “unless you don't want to.”

“I want to.” He practically barked his reply. “Just…” his voice was heavy, and he shifted his weight against her again. “I mean… I really can't. Do what I want. With you. Right now…” he stammered. “Please please please…” His voice dropped into a desperate hiss, and the scent of his arousal intensified. Her breath hitched and his hips rutted against hers. Hard between them, his erection rubbed against her belly through their clothes. He nuzzled against her, scenting her with the glands on his jaw with fervor. She could guess what he wanted to do.

But she didn't insist on going all the way. Clothes on, she rolled her hips into him encouragingly, shivering with excitement. Having sex with Tadashi didn't excite her like this. Soon enough, she was hard, too. She tightened her grip on his hair, the soft locks pulling taut between her fingers. Pulling his head back revealed the curves and dips of his neck. His mouth gaped, and he made a strangled cry.

He was swelling, and with his watery, pungent approval, she reached down to rub him through his shorts. The size of his growing knot struck her with disbelief. The curves of it at the base of his penis, well below the wet spots on his pants, filled her palm. Self conscious, she resolved not to let him see her own knotless erection. She squeezed, and he jerked, grunting as his whole body shook. She could smell his release, a heavy, tangy musk similar to her own. She wanted to get on her knees and huff it in. Her dick was so hard it hurt. She pointed it away from Shinjuro when he went limp against her, breathing hard.

The embarrassment and shock took a minute to seep into his scent and body language, and then he animated all at once. “I shouldn't have done that,” he gasped, jerking away with wide eyes. 

“Don’t worry,” Ruka said, letting her hands slip out of his hair. She wanted to lick the blood off his face. She wanted to pin him down and bury her dick in the soft, wet warmth of his mouth. Her whole body throbbed. Her own arousal and how Shinjuro could quench it was taking up a startling amount of space in her mind, but she shook her head, cleared her mind, and got her brain working again. “Shinjuro, you’re bleeding.”

Shinjuro blinked at her, and she realized that he hadn’t tasted his own blood. He hadn’t noticed it on her face. Lifting a hand to his face, he dabbed over his nose and looked at his fingers. “All the blood is mine, right?” he asked, skin growing pale.

A smile quirked her lips. “Yes. Come here.” She led him to the sink and had him lean over it. He took over washing his own face while she held his hair out of the way, and he did the same for her while pinching his nose closed with his other hand. “I’m sorry, Ruka. That- I don’t know how I even managed that.”

She laughed. “Neither do I.” But I liked it. She didn’t voice her delight; Shinjuro might like her, but she didn’t need to push his boundaries by voicing her desire to make him bleed. She didn’t want to hurt him. She just wanted to taste him and smell him and feel him spill on her tongue.

“I… I really love it when you smile like that.” Shinjuro was looking at her lustily. His hands were crossed over his groin. His pants were pulled tight behind them. 

She did her best not to look. Instead, she sheepishly brushed her hair out of her face. “Thank you.” Her own body was still calming down, but she hadn’t knotted or even come. Knots could last for a while, or so she had been taught.

“I-I’m sorry about…that,” he said, not looking at her. His head was angled to expose the side of his neck submissively.

That only made her want him more. “Don't apologize. I enjoyed that.”

A panicked laugh escaped him. “I-I should go.” He backed away, carefully avoiding triggering her desire to chase him. She couldn't help but watch him, hoping he would show his back to her. Instead, he carefully pulled the door open and backed into the rain. “See you tomorrow,” he said, raising his voice over the roaring water. The door closed.

Ruka's spun around, turned on shower faucet, pushed her shorts down, and chased a release for all the hormones that had just built up inside her.

The walk home in the rain was both cooling and sobering, but she immediately missed Shinjuro. She couldn't shake her disbelief that he had really wanted her, that he had asked her to marry him, and that he had touched her with the same desire she had for him.

The door to her house swung open as she tried to wring her hair out in the minimal shelter of the doorway. As she had been leaning against the door, she fell inward and stumbled into her father.

“There you are!” He wrapped his arms around her. “What were you doing in this rain? You're going to get sick.”

Her mother, who had been pacing, hurried to get a towel to wrap her in.

“I went for a run, since I couldn't see Tadashi… I'm sorry.” She hadn't expected them to worry this much. Ruka had been dreading the admonishments for not accompanying Tadashi during his heat. Guilt washed over her. “I thought you would be upset if I didn't stay with him. I didn't want you to worry.”

“...We’re not upset about that.” He ushered Ruka deeper into the house while her mother fetched her a change of clothes. “Ruka, we taught you to control yourself. We understand why you would reject Tadashi after that. It's good that you were careful about his heat, and on any other day running would be… tolerable, given the challenge. However, you are still our daughter and you need to take care of yourself.”

The relief she felt for their caring about her was quickly overwhelmed by what she had done, how she was lying to them. Did she really choose to put what she wanted before her family? What kind of child am I? “I'm sorry,” she repeated.

Her father sighed and enveloped her in a hug, squeezing her tightly. “Next time, it is better if you stay with Tadashi.”

Anxiety clenched in her belly. “Yes, father.”

“Ruka, come change,” her mother urged, returning with a bundle of clothes.

Her father released her, and she took the clothes to her room to change. She wanted to stay in bed, but her mother collected her for a late dinner and continued to fret about as she ate.

Finally, her father caught her mother and nuzzled her jaw. Ruka felt her own muscles loosen before she even smelled the pheromones he was releasing; be calm, be tired. Enough to make Ruka drowsy and to make her mother totter. Speaking gently, he led Ruka's mother to bed. Minutes later, he returned and sat across from Ruka. “How are you feeling?”

Defenses lowered, she couldn't help but answer truthfully. “I'm scared,” she murmured. “I'm not doing this right.”

He sighed. “... Ruka, it isn't easy being an alpha. Alphas have more responsibilities, more understanding of the urges that act upon us than the other presentations.”

She stared into her now empty bowl, unsure how she could reconcile that with how her friends behaved. It didn't seem that what they felt was any less complicated than what she did, or that they were any more ignorant.

“You understand, don't you? It will be better for Tadashi to have someone committed to him like you are.”

Ruka sank. Her heart couldn't speed up and her body couldn't tense under the influence of his pheromones, but she still felt off. “I don't know if I'm what Tadashi wants,” she managed.

“You're what he needs.”

She shook her head slowly, thoughts glacial. Should I tell him? “I don't know. I don't…” Trying to imagine her feelings for Shinjuro projected onto Tadashi made her cringe. She had already been too rough with Tadashi. What would happen when she wanted a mate she could wrestle and chase? She wrangled some anxiety to put into words. “Is it normal to want to… I want to make my mate bleed.” The words stumbled out, and for a moment she could still imagine the taste of Shinjuro's blood in her lips. Despite her father's influence, her heart gave a flutter of excitement.

“Of course.”

Her gaze flickered up to him, brows raised.

“It's a natural drive for an alpha to bite. Omega blood is full of pheromones that encourage it. They tolerate it, even enjoy it. It might be strange, but it isn't about hurting them. It’s just nature.” Voice firm, he added, “that is why control is so important. An omega will gladly get itself killed by a careless partner, but any respectable alpha will know better. That knowledge doesn't come naturally to a beta or other omegas. It's just like submitting to another alpha would never occur to us, as long as we respect ourselves. You understand that, don't you? That's why we choose partners the way we do.”

She couldn't argue with him. She was too tired and cozy. “But…”

He waited, looking alert and ready to respond to her objection. When the objection didn't come, he stood and helped her up. “I'll clean up. Think about what I said before bed.”

“Yes, father,” Ruka said obediently.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Ruka's father reiterated his lesson. He must have known that Ruka would hardly remember it- only that she felt like she had betrayed her family. Her dreams were haunted by the duty she held, or the duty she should have held for her family. She was misbehaving. A bad daughter.

Not that he said that. He only said what was wrong and what was right, but what Ruka was doing was wrong, in his words. Unnatural. Destined for tragedy.

Her mother was more gentle in her disapproval; her point of view was different. Less practical, but more colored with personal disgust and confusion about the possibility that two of the same could satisfy one another. Oh, but how miraculous was it that an alpha and an omega could come together? That was the best thing in the world.

Did they know? Ruka felt sick. Had she been stupid? Selfish? 

Why was she asking? She knew she had been selfish. She knew she had followed her unnatural urges and not her duties. The failure squeezed her chest. She wanted to run away from her family. As she walked to school, her muscles itched and crawled, but running would make things worse. No. She needed to grow up.

Her note to Shinjuro had less resolve than it should. She couldn't meet with him today. Maybe next week. She hoped he wouldn't smell her anxiety on it, but she couldn't keep her thoughts off his reaction. He would be disappointed. If he knew she was upset, he would want to make her happy. Maybe he would hold her tight, kiss her eyes and cheeks. That's all she wanted, now.

It was still damp from the rain. The sky was still dark and drizzly. They couldn't play, anyway. They couldn't lay in the grass. They never could again. She had to mean it when she said it. This can’t happen.

Her friends tried to encourage her, but she was quiet. At home, she buried her feelings in her studies.

She didn't want to sleep with her guilt, so she stayed up all night with her textbook. Early the next afternoon, her mother knocked on her door.

“Ruka,” she said gently. “I think I know why you're feeling down. Come out, darling.”

Ruka hesitantly came to the door. “Yes, mother?”

“Come on. We’re going for a day out,” her mother said brightly.

She blinked at her in surprise. A while had passed since her mother really demanded her attention. Since she had become an alpha, it had been her father who took responsibility for her development. “I… I see. Yes, mother.”

The pair went out to eat first, and then they went to an aesthetic salon. Ruka knew her father didn't like strangers to touch her mother, so the choice surprised her.

However, her mother simply sat in a seat beside Ruka as Ruka's face was exfoliated and powdered. At the same time, her nails were trimmed and shined.

“Are they going to whiten my face?” Ruka asked.

“Blush is more popular these days. And eyeshadow!” She said brightly. “Just like the movies.”

Ruka had a feeling her father wouldn’t like that kind of style, so she wasn’t sure why her mother was interested in it. Maybe because she couldn’t, she was using Ruka like a doll. Ruka let her eyes slip closed, purring. This was what a good daughter did. She was making her mother happy. That would make her father happy.

If only it were always so easy.

A hand slipped through her hair, and she blinked her eyes open. “What’s that?” They were pulling a large, boxy hairbrush with harsh light shining through the bristles through her locks.

“It will bring out the beautiful color in your hair,” her mother explained. “I don’t understand it exactly, but it has such a nice effect.”

“How does it do that?” She asked, gaze flickering to the beautician.

The beautician averted her gaze politely. “The light affects the pigment, so it can bring out other colors in alpha hair.”

“I see.” Her gaze flickered to her mother’s contented expression, and she allowed it to comfort her.

When they returned home, Ruka was made up and in a new red and white dress kimono. Her mother had complimented her so much, she felt both flattered and embarrassed. “I’m not sure if I should be wearing this out here,” Ruka said, doing her best to keep the kimono from dragging as they approached their house.

“You can take it off when we go inside,” her mother assured her. “You just look so pretty all made up. You’re glowing!”

Ruka put her hands over her mouth to hide her smile, but just as she was about to open the door for them, a scent touched her nose. She froze, the hair on the back of her neck rising. Her gaze snapped to her mother, her amusement gone. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, your nose is so sharp,” Her mother looked away, the smile on her face growing. “You’ll see. Let’s go inside.”

Ruka grit her teeth. She could smell the heavy, saccharine odor already. Pulling the door open made Tadashi’s heat hit her full force. Swallowing, she made an effort to clear her mind. Her mouth was already filling with saliva, but Ruka couldn’t decide if it was because she was aroused or nauseous. She didn’t like the smell, she decided; she had to make an effort not to scrunch her nose against it. However, her blood rushed to her cheeks and pooled hot in her stomach. She wanted to retreat, but her mother was already coming in behind her. 

“Surprise!” Her mother burbled.

Her father and Tadashi’s parents were all inside.

The sight of them made Ruka’s face flush in indignation and humiliation. She forced herself to dip her head to them respectfully and exchange greetings. The way they all watched her made Ruka sweat under the collar of her kimono, and she realized with a growing sense of betrayal that her mother had been dressing her up as an offering.

Staring at the ground, she waited for someone to explain.

“Now, Ruka,” her father finally said, “we have all been discussing your relationship with Tadashi and we think it is best to make things official.”

Ruka looked up, not directly into his eyes, but at his face. “Official?”

It was Tadashi’s mother who answered. In a rich alpha croon, she explained, “Tadashi would benefit greatly from conceiving. It would help him settle down. And because you are a strong and responsible alpha, we want you to be his sire. If you bond with him now, we will arrange the ceremony when you are both unoccupied.”

Ruka kept her eyes on her father, because the crooned praise of this other adult alpha was making her traitorous heart beat twice as fast. She was afraid if she looked at Tadashi’s mother with her body in this heightened state, she would see all of Tadashi’s most attractive qualities in her and feel as aroused as she was supposed to feel for Tadashi.

Her father’s expression was flinty. She could hear his previous admonishments in her mind. The flutter in her chest turned into an anxious flop. He was looking right through her. He knew her feelings were wrong. Muscles tensed inside her until her bones ached. She tried to think back and focus on what Tadashi’s mother had said instead of the beauty in her voice. She took a breath. “... Tadashi wants to be my mate officially?”

Silence.

It was Tadashi’s father who spoke up. “Tadashi is not in the state to make that choice right now, but he will be happiest with the choice we’ve made.”

“I… I don’t know if I can…” Ruka linked her hands in front of her to keep from shaking. Maybe she could do this, physically. Maybe she should, because her parents knew best. Maybe she should because her feelings for Shinjuro were a perversion. Maybe she should because Tadashi needed relief and a leash, even if he didn’t want them. But she didn’t know if she could treat Tadashi this way.

“It will come naturally,” Her father said firmly. “Will you accept Tadashi?”

Ruka shrunk. Would it look bad for Tadashi if she rejected him? Taking a moment to reign in her emotions, she murmured, “I’ll take care of him.”

The tone of the room shifted, like the whole house had breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s my girl,” her mother purred.

“Where is he?” Ruka asked, feeling hollow with guilt at the same moment the praise relieved some of her tension.

“He is resting in your room,” her father said.

A thorn’s prick of bitterness jabbed her, but she had accepted that she had no territory of her own soon after her presentation made her aware that she wanted her own space. She nodded. “I can go see him?”

At their guardian’s confirmation, Ruka slunk to her room. She could have tracked Tadashi by his plush scent if she wanted to, but she had been trying to ignore it. The hot, swirling feeling in her head and her core made her uncomfortable.

There were different notes to his scent, too. His discomfort cut through the sweetness with acridness and demanded that she fix things, make him feel better, do something, do anything . She pulled the door open and slipped inside.

She was greeted with a grunt, but she had to look around to see him. Tadashi was curled up beside her nightstand in the corner. His hair was tousled and sweat glistened on his brow. Eyes bleary, he watched her warily. When she didn’t move from just in front of the closed door, he rasped, “Hey, Ruka.”

She swallowed and whispered, “I take it you don’t want to be here?”

“I don’t want to get pregnant.” His voice was nearly a growl.

“Do you have condoms?” Moving slowly, she stepped closer.

He curled his lip, baring his blunt teeth. The message was clear. 

She stopped. Backing to the opposite corner of her room, she sunk down against the wall. Her stomach twisted. When she stopped looking at him, she could smell the shift in his scent; he relaxed. “Your parents want-”

“I know what they want,” he sighed. “I would be fine if they just let me deal with this myself. If I had anything else to do. Instead they throw me in an alpha’s room…” A whimper entered his voice.

The sound shot straight up her spine. Help him! Her whole body throbbed. Ruka’s fingers curled into her new Kimono in her lap. Counting the length of each inhale and exhale, she slowed her breathing. Once she was calm, she tried to put forth her most calming pheromones. It was the least she could do.

Tadashi's breathing, so loud in the silent room, slowed. His distress dissipated. He sagged, drowsy. His head tilted. His neck was a flash of white, and she realized she had never seen it before. He wasn't wearing his collar.

I'm supposed to bite him. They want me to bite him. I need to bite him.

He snapped to attention. “Ruka, stop!” He demanded, snapping his teeth. She was nearly on top of him. Her teeth bared. His body was warm beneath her, heart pounding against her chest. Thump thump thump. His body was so… hot.

“Ruka!” He shoved at her shoulders. His breath quickened. She couldn't tell if he was upset or aroused, so she leaned closer, sniffed in his neck. He was shaking. His body was in need. Everything about it was begging for her touch. When she touched him, hands sliding under his shirt, he arched into her. His feverish skin filled her palms. Maybe he really didn't know any better. Maybe he needed her.

And she could provide for him. Her body knew what to do. She could close her eyes, imagine this was different, and she was normal. Her body and her mind already felt like they were dividing; she couldn’t forget these moments altogether, but maybe she could distance herself from the experience. 

But then he looked up at her. His eyes glistened. When he mouthed, please, she knew he would have added, don't , if he could.

She jerked away, horror rising up in her. The reality of the moment struck her. What did I almost do? Tadashi was her friend! How dare she treat him this way! She twisted and marched toward the door. She had to tell them no, both their families. They couldn't do this, weren't ready for it.

But when she pushed through the door, they were all looking at her. Alphas and omegas, all expectant, hopeful, and firm. She looked around, panic rising.  She backed into her room again without a word.

“We need to fake it, Tadashi.” She said, marching to the opposite corner again. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry I even thought that I should…”

He had curled in on himself again. “Fake it,” he breathed. “Okay.” Sweat beaded his face. “Okay.” He was still watching her warily. The broken trust on his face hurt, but she couldn't blame him for it. “How?”

She took a breath, thinking. “... Give me your underwear.”

Her body was cooperative. Once both of them had soaked each other's underwear, they switched clothes as well. Ruka was satisfied by the scent of sex and sweat on both of them, so she convinced him to let her help him to the bathroom, letting their parents see and smell the faux evidence of their coupling. While Tadashi cleaned up in the bathroom, Ruka fetched him fresh clothes to change into and sleep in. His parents had left by then, so she approached her own in the kitchen, gathering food and beverages as she did.

She announced without looking directly at them, “Tadashi is very fragile. I stopped myself from biting him.” She could sense her parents' objections coming, so she added reasonably, “he's lost a lot of water while he's in heat. I won't let him bleed.”

“How considerate,” her mother said. Her father grunted in acknowledgement.

“He needs to rest.”

“My dear, he won't be able to rest,” her mother said, amused at Ruka's naivete. “Once you go into rut, that's hopeless.”

Ruka frowned at her. “Do I have to go into rut?”

“Alphas affect omegas, not the other way around,” her father said firmly. “But many alphas choose to go into rut to match their mate’s heat.”

She looked between her parents. For a brief moment, she thought she saw amusement in her mother's eyes at her father's response, but the expression dissolved into her usual placidity before Ruka could be sure.

“Going into rut will interrupt my studies, and Tadashi needs rest,” Ruka said firmly. “I'm going to school on Monday. I need to do well in school if I'm going to provide for pups.”

Her mother regarded her dubiously, her father, critically. After a moment of thought, her father said carefully, “You will come home directly after class.”

“I didn't plan to be away that long,” Ruka agreed. She assured herself that she hadn't lied to them, even if she had misled them. Still, she feared that her father would sniff out her deceit.

“I don't think you'll feel that way after spending a night with him,” her mother said, flicking a hand dismissively.

Discomfort prickled in Ruka's belly. “I don't want to leave him alone too long, so… goodnight.”

Tadashi had rearranged her furniture when she returned; she thought he might be nesting at first. The prospect made her queasy. She realized that he was making a barrier, instead. He curled up with some blankets and pillows behind her dresser and nightstand. Again, a stab of guilt pierced her. It was for the best that they slept with a substantial barrier between them, but she wished he could trust her. She wished she could trust herself.

Chapter Text

Monday couldn't come soon enough. Her parents must have forgotten her resolve because they seemed surprised to see her out of her room and dressed for school. She hadn't left before except to help Tadashi to the bathroom and to gather food and water. Today she did her usual duties and then gathered her school work.

“You are… so silly, my dear,” her mother said, the brightness in her voice a bit strained.

“School isn't silly. I need to provide.”

Her father sighed because he couldn't argue.

Picking up her bookbag, she headed out. Her friends met her at their usual corner. Hata was the first to react to her, eyes widening slightly before her gaze darted away. Mae took just a moment longer, hurt coloring her expression and then being hastily masked as she caught the scent of Tadashi's heat.

“Good morning. I'm not marrying him,” Ruka said, trying not to sound defensive.

The girls exchanged looks. Hata’s mouth was pressed into a thin line. “Ruka, if you've been with him while he's in heat, you can't just leave.”

“I wasn't. Not how you think.” She brushed a hand through her hair self-consciously. “Hata, I promise.” She took a breath, working to find the words she needed. “He doesn't want that. We're only pretending so our parents aren't upset. I…” Her face burned. Say it. They deserve to know. “I've decided to marry Shinjuro instead.”

She expected baffled stares. Instead, Hata’s brows pinched. Mae looked like she had been slapped. She was the one to speak up, voice high in indignation, “What are you talking about? You said-!”

“He told me you were who he liked.” Hata said.

Mae turned on her, more shocked by her statement than Ruka's. “What?!”

“Ruka… Do you know how those people talk about omegas? Before omegas and alphas got married, they talked about us like we were nothing,” Hata pointed out.

“That's not how it's supposed to work-!” Mae gasped.

Ruka was standing still at the corner, trying to find an opening to speak. Each word of criticism struck like a rock against her skin. She didn't know where to start, addressing their argument, so she didn't. “Tadashi doesn't want me,” she said. “I can't… he's my friend. I can't do what our parents want me to do to him. Shinjuro proposed to me.” She stared at them each in turn. “I want to be with a man who wants me.”

“You can't have kids with another alpha,” Mae said. “There are- other people. Who want you,” she stammered, her cheeks coloring.

“I'm sorry,” Ruka said. “I want Shinjuro. There's no one else I feel that way about. I tried. I really did.”

Mae deflated, her anger fizzling out.

Hata was still staring at her critically. Finally, she murmured, “You don't think Tadashi would… be better off with you?”

“No.” Ruka suppressed a shiver. “We've talked about this. He knows what he wants.”

Hata looked away, thinking hard.

The silence stretched.

“We should get to school,” Ruka said quietly. Her chest hurt. Neither of her friends were happy with her. She didn't want to lose them. Was Shinjuro worth it? What if he had changed his mind, too? What if he smelled Tadashi's heat on her and assumed the worst?

One foot in front of the other, she urged

They arrived at school in silence, and Ruka slipped a note into Shinjuro's locker.

He approached her at lunch. Though she was eating with Mae and Hata, they weren’t speaking. His approach was a relief; he didn’t look angry or sad, but concerned.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Ruka nodded and rose. “I’ll be back,” she told her friends. They watched her follow him out, their eyes critical.

He led the way to a bathroom. It was a single room, and she followed him in. He fidgeted. “So… There’s no way he could be pregnant?”

“I promise I didn’t sleep with him while he was in heat. He doesn’t want pups, and I don’t want to be with him, especially not like that.”

“But… You’re afraid you might go into rut?” His eyes flickered over her body, like he was looking for signs.

“I don’t know if I can control myself if we’re both on our cycles.” She swallowed, embarrassed. “You said your mother doesn’t go into rut often, so I thought maybe you knew how to get rid of it.”

“Um… I’ve been thinking about it.” He stepped closer and sniffed her. His nose hovered over her glands, her neck, and her cheeks. “I don’t like smelling him on you,” he rumbled. Giving his head a shake, he said, “Okay, I-I’ve been thinking about it and I have an idea. I don’t think you’ll like it. It’ll probably be really unpleasant and I don’t know if it’ll work if I tell you all about it.”

“Okay. Let’s do it. I trust you.” She leaned closer to him.

“You have to beat me in a fight,” he blurted out, backing away.

She blinked at him in surprise. He put on a serious face, meeting her gaze with hard eyes. He should have looked confident. He was really trying. The nervousness in his scent slowly flickered out as he committed.

“Alright,” Ruka said. His crouch caught her off-guard. The bathroom was small, and the tiles would hurt to hit. However, it wasn’t like they had time to go outside. Hesitantly, she crouched. He jumped at her, moving faster than she expected. Ruka sprang away from his grip, only for her back to hit the wall. A wave of panic hit her, instincts roaring about her being cornered, trapped. He caught her with one hand behind her head, and another at her lower back. Twisting, she pushed off the wall and knocked into his chest. Shinjuro stumbled back. Before she could get away, though, his arms were around her waist. Her feet left the ground. Ruka thrashed, desperate to break free. If she had to beat him, she would!

Stifling a growl, she elbowed him in the belly. He did his best to keep quiet, too, but she heard his grunt. His grip loosened. She slipped free. Springing around him, she tried to get behind and knock him forward, but he kicked out a leg and she tripped. The ground rushed at her and her eyes pinched shut.

He caught the back of her shirt, jerking her to a stop before she hit the ground, and swung her back into his arms before she could get her feet under her. She rolled, disoriented. Again, his hand found the back of her head as she hit the ground, tailbone ringing. Her head followed, but he kept her skull from cracking against the tiles. And then he was on top of her. He caught her shoulders and flattened her.

The tiles felt cold, maybe even a little damp. Disgust and indignation roiled in her. I was supposed to win. He isn’t even going to go easy on me? He was going to pin her to the bathroom floor? Dampen her in someone else’s piss? She squirmed, trying to fight back. He caught her wrists and pinned them. His hands were hot and clammy, but they might as well have been cold manacles. She couldn’t move him. She wanted to scream, furious, but she bit her tongue. 

His hair shaded his face, his nose wrinkled, and his fangs extended long and sharp. He looked down at her with a dismissive mask before snapping forward. Hot, wet breath warmed her neck before he snapped his teeth next to it. “Give up, Ruka,” he growled.

Ruka’s muscles froze, and then she went limp. She deflated. Her anger fled like a frightened rabbit, and her head tilted submissively. The speed at which her mood dropped made it hard to think. Didn’t he like me? Was I stupid to think so?

When he pulled his face away, his expression had changed. His mask wavered, brows twitching and lip quivering, before it all fell into transparent concern. His scent, which she had never smelled him control so well before, went from dominant and possessive to full on anxious, bitter stink. “I’m sorry, Ruka,” he said. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

She was still shaken. The words caught in her throat a couple times before she managed, “No.” Her butt was sore, but she doubted it would bruise.

“I think you needed to try your hardest. I'm sorry. This was the only thing I could think of.” he extended a hand to pull her to her feet. It was shaky and clammy.

“What… was your idea?” She examined the floor, trying to see if it really was wet or just cold as he helped her to her feet.

“Submitting to another alpha often will make you go into rut less. Like my mom hardly ever does, because she lets my dad rule. But we don't have a lot of time, so I thought, maybe you needed to be forced into it, all at once…” his voice faltered.

She didn't know if his logic was sound, but she could appreciate the effort. In the spirit of submitting to his will, she decided to believe in him completely. “I understand.”

“I'm sorry,” he repeated. “I'll never treat you like that again. I promise.”

This time she really did believe him. He hardly kept on his mask long enough to manhandle and embarrass her even once. “Thank you, Shinjuro.”

He fidgeted.

“I can't tell you what to do, or it might not stay, right?”

He straightened, taking the hint. “Right. Yes. Clean up. And then go back to Tadashi, but don't touch him.” The apparent confidence in his voice built up as he spoke. “We're going to get married one day.”

Ruka smiled down at the floor tiles. “Yes, sir.” He watched her clean off, wiping his scent away as best as she could with wet paper towels.

“You'll tell me how it goes?”

“Will I?” She asked, trying to encourage him to be more dominant.

He puffed and cleared his throat. “Tell me how it goes. Please.”

“Yes, sir,” she said.

Shinjuro paced a few steps before coming over, gently knocking his forehead against her temple, and hurrying out.

When Ruka returned to her friends, Mae was standing by the table, looking ready to come after them. Hata was examining her lunch like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“You smell like him,” Mae grumbled as Ruka sat back down.

“Is it really noticeable?”

“It’s noticeable enough.” She crossed her arms. 

Ruka let her control on her own scent loosen some. “What about now?”

Mae’s cheeks reddened, and she looked away.

“That covers it up okay,” Hata said quietly. “Just keep it up. No one will be able to smell him by the end of the day.”

“Thank you. Both of you,” Ruka said earnestly. She looked to each of her friends in turn. The thanks was sincere, but it was also a plea. Please stay by my side.

Hata touched her arm in assurance. Mae only huffed. It’s okay if it takes time, she reminded herself. As long as they can accept this.

Tadashi could accept it. When she told him about her meeting with Shinjuro, he sagged with relief. “Didn’t know alphas could do that,” he mumbled from where he sat in his blockaded corner.

“And… He proposed,” Ruka said from her bed.

“Proposed what?”

“To marry me. He wants to marry me.” Her heart still pounded when she said it. “I said yes.” Thinking about Shinjuro kept her mind off of Tadashi, whose scent and discomfort was still tugging at her instincts. Except when they exchanged clothes, they sat in opposite corners. 

“Congrats,” he practically scoffed.

She tried not to let his dismissiveness hurt her feelings. “I wanted to warn you. You won’t be pregnant after this, so I thought our parents would let us break up.”

Lightness entered his voice. “Oh… yeah. Yeah, we could.”

The newfound energy in his voice raised Ruka’s spirits, too. “What are you going to do? Maybe you can date one of your other girlfriends until your parents let you do your own thing.”

“I don’t think they’re gonna let this go, Ruka,” he said, the light leaving his voice.

Ruka swallowed. Her chest felt cold. “No?” she asked, voice small.

“You might not see me for a while after this. I think I’m gonna… take a trip.”

“Where are you going?”

He shifted. His fingers drummed her nightstand. “I don’t know. If you're with the Rengokus, then I'll find you, I guess.”

“Well… I hope you find somewhere nice,” she said. The thought of disappearing like that made her freeze up. Her mind and her limbs both refused. It wasn't what a good daughter did. It was cowardly and disrespectful.

But so was throwing your omega child into an alpha’s room with the intent to shackle him with pregnancy. Would her parents have done that if she presented as an omega? She felt her stomach clench.

“You're going to move in with him, right?” Tadashi asked.

“Yes.” They hadn't discussed it, but it wasn't like her parents would welcome Shinjuro into their house. She was running away too, in a sense. “I'll try to wait until you're gone to tell them.”

“Sure. Thanks,” he said, sounding tired.

She frowned. Concern squeezed in her chest. Tadashi had been her ally through all of this, her friend. Being around him would be easier once his heat was over, but he was going to leave. She would have Shinjuro, at least. Hopefully Hata and Mae. Would Tadashi be alone without her, or did his other girlfriends care about him? Bite him, her instincts urged, but she quieted them. Even if biting him made Tadashi stay, it wouldn’t be worth it. Hurting him to make him behave how she wanted was just what their parents were doing. Swallowing, she steeled herself. “Good luck.”

“You too.”

The next morning, Tadashi's heat broke like a fever, and his mood instantly improved. He ate a massive breakfast and fell asleep in Ruka's bed, a celebratory smile on his tired lips.

When Ruka left her room, she was in a good mood, too, and her parents’ attention only dampened it a little. Her mother was full of energy, and her father, stoic as he usually was, still smiled at her. He patted her shoulder and praised her for doing the right thing.

Ruka squirmed. “He'll need help from other omegas, now, right? To keep him calm?”

“It couldn't hurt,” her mother said. “I'll call his father over. We'll take care of him. You'll be the first to tell if his scent changes. Alphas know it best.”

“I don't want any other alphas near him.” That was what she should say. “Only you and his father. How long before we know?”

“Just a week or so.” Her father sipped his tea with absolute contentment on his face. “He'll smell sweet. Like honey and milk. It's wonderful.”

Ruka leveled a glare at him. He would take it as protectiveness instead of resentment. Tadashi wouldn't want to smell that way.

“I will keep my distance. I have to work, anyway. The omegas will oversee things.” His eyes sparkled with amusement.

How often had Ruka longed for that kind of warmth from her father? Did his approval really rest on her committing a terrible act? Forcing herself on someone she was supposed to care about? Or was she looking at this all wrong, biased by her own selfish desires. “Should we go?” She asked her father carefully, making an effort not to challenge him. “I need to go to school…”

“And I need to go to work,” he agreed, standing. He leaned over and kissed her mother before gathering his things and heading for the door. Ruka followed with her bookbag.

Hata greeted her with only a moment of hesitation at their usual corner. Grasping her arm, she smiled a bit too kindly. “Ruka, you look happier.”

“Tadashi's heat is over,” she announced.

Hata blinked up at her, uncertain.

“So is he pregnant?” Mae asked, stalking toward them. She leered at Ruka.

“No.” Ruka forced herself to stand straight, even under her friend's critical gaze. “He was so happy to be through it this morning. We both are.” 

Prickly as she was, Mae’s expression softened a little. She looked away. “So what's the plan, now?”

“Once our parents confirm he isn't pregnant, I… We can break up. And then, after my parents have started looking for another mate for me, I can bring up Shinjuro.” She didn't mention Tadashi’s plan to leave. It wasn't her business to share.

“I think that's the best way you could do it,” Hata murmured.

The day slipped on. Shinjuro joined the girls at lunch, and this time, his friends followed him: a couple other alphas who were not nearly as handsome as he was, and a gaggle of beta and omegas. Ruka was overwhelmed at first, but they all joined the next day, and the day after that, so she adjusted. The merging of their groups did disrupt the order of things, but Ruka ignored the stares of their classmates. Shinjuro’s eyes on her were more difficult to ignore. Her skin warmed under his glowing gaze. Once, when she excused herself to use the bathroom, she brushed a hand across his shoulders as he passed. Shinjuro straightened, hair fluffing, and rumbled quietly.

Shinjuro slipped out after her, maybe too early to be subtle. He waited a little longer before entering the bathroom, and Ruka took the time to use it and wash her hands. She had just turned off the water when he entered, gaze flicking around for any sign of observers. “Are you alright?” He asked quietly.

The swell of his chest looked pillow-soft. She imagined leaning into him, curling into his embrace. “Yes. Tadashi's heat is finally over.” She drew closer, hands still dripping.

Shinjuro watched her approach with warm, sparkling eyes. It was only when she cupped his face in cold, wet hands that he jumped.

Giggling, Ruka bounced away. “You're so cute.”

“Cute?” He pouted, but she guessed from the color in his cheeks that he was just embarrassed.

She came over again. “Don't sulk. Once my parents see that Tadashi isn't pregnant, I'm going to tell them about you.” She stretched to kiss him, her mostly dry hands landing gently on his chest.

His lips met hers crookedly, and his attempt to adjust overcorrected, covering her entire lips with his own. She couldn't help but giggle. When they separated, his expression was sheepish.

“We'll have to practice that,” she murmured, pecking him again.

“If we practice it now they might smell me on you too soon,” Shinjuro said, but he kissed her cheek tentatively.

“Mmm,” she purred, nuzzling quickly before stepping away.  Just looking at him was stirring her up. Like his burning eyes, warmth and fire was burning inside her. “Do you still have my ribbon?”

He blinked. “Of course.”

“Let me scent it for you again.”

Shinjuro perked up, wriggling with excitement. “Yes, please.” He dug in his pocket. It smelled only like him, now, but he had kept it. 

Ruka felt warmer as she accepted it. She would assure everyone knew who her mate was. She nuzzled and wove it around her wrist before giving it one last parting kiss. “There. Put your head down for me.”

He dipped his head down, face reddening. As she combed through his hair and tied it up, he murmured, “People will notice this.”

“Good,” the word came out a little rough, but it wouldn't be long until she told her parents, anyway. School rumors would take longer to reach them than the news of Tadashi’s nonpregnancy. When he straightened, the hair was a bit too short to stay neatly tied; red and gold strands flicked out here and there around his face. She tried again, this time putting it at the side of his head. The fashion was more feminine, but she adored it on him. “Okay, look,” she purred.

“I love it,” he said, looking at her. She covered her mouth with a hand and stepped out of the way of the mirror. “I’ll never take it out,” he insisted, even after seeing the ribbon.

He pranced and tossed his hair as they strolled back to the cafeteria. That earned them plenty of attention.

Ruka puffed with pride. Her mate was happy. He was hers. Perfect. Conversation took a moment to pick up again after they sat down, but Shinjuro started chattering and his friends followed his lead. Ruka and Hata were quick enough to join in.

The next evening, Ruka’s mother took her aside after dinner. “My darling, let’s go for a walk,” she urged. It wasn’t quite dark yet, but the stars were starting to prick through the heavy blanket of the sky as they strolled through the neighborhood. “Listen, my dear,” her mother said carefully. “It’s a little early to say, and don’t take this as a failure on his part, but… There haven’t been any noticeable shifts to Tadashi’s scent. His nesting is also… lackluster, and he’s not very energetic.”

Ruka tilted her head at her mother, taking in this diagnosis. Tadashi had been resting and recovering from his heat in Ruka’s room. She thought he might join her in bed, but he had wrinkled his nose and curled back up on the ground with some fresh blankets and pillows. She hoped it was part of an act, as opposed to him really feeling depressed- those accursed baby blues. He would need his energy, wherever he planned to go. “It hasn’t been long,” she ventured.

“It is still early to say. That’s what I said. But it doesn’t seem like…” She took Ruka’s hand and squeezed. “I don’t believe that he is carrying pups. I’m sorry.”

She widened her eyes.

“It’s not your fault. It might just be that Tadashi was too stressed by the whole experience. He should have relaxed with you, especially with how gentle you were. Poor thing, being so flighty…”

Ruka frowned at her. She stifled the pressure to bare her teeth, and the heat of anger beneath her skin that made her lips itch. “Please don’t say that about him,” she said evenly, forcing her hair to stay flat. “It’s not his fault it was stressful.”

Her mother squeezed her hand again. “No, I guess not.” She put on a plastic smile. “Next time you’ll just have to bite him, and then he’ll understand what fun he could be having.”

Swallowing, Ruka asked, “Are there any other mates you were considering for me?”

Her mother hiccuped in surprise. “Don’t you like him? One failed heat isn't too alarming, you know.”

“I do,” she said, too quickly. Slowing, she added, “I like him a lot, and it… hurts me to see him stressed like this. I might not be right for him.”

“The fact that this stresses him so much is why he needs you.” She sighed. “You’re kinder than most alphas would be. I know your father is hard on you, but you’re still my sweet little girl.”

Ruka looked away. Would her mother think so highly of her when she let Tadashi leave? She hoped her mother would understand, but she didn’t expect her to right away. “We’re both open to the idea…”

“Ruka.” Her mother’s voice had grown firm. “Don’t be so hard on Tadashi. Give him another chance.”

“This isn’t me rejecting him,” she assured. “Mother, I promise that’s not it. I want him to be happy. He’s… someone I care about a lot. So I can’t only think about what he needs. What he wants is important, too. And…” More quietly, she murmured, “What I want, too. We’ve talked about this a lot.”

“No wonder he is so stressed. You shouldn’t worry someone who is trying to conceive with such things!” Her mother admonished.

Ruka wrinkled her nose, but held her tongue. “We discussed it before his heat but… I really did try to do what you asked once his heat started and not upset him.” It was much easier to hide things from her mother than her father. Ruka squeezed the ball of guilt in her chest, working to crush it into nothingness. She shouldn’t feel guilty for honoring Tadashi’s wishes.

“Don’t bring it up again. We prefer to keep our minds clear so early on.”

“Yes, mother,” she murmured, fighting back indignation to bear her throat.

“Ruka, please!” Her mother swatted her playfully. “You’re a full grown alpha. Don’t bear your throat to me .”

Ruka lowered her head, frowning. Then why tell me what to do? “... Yes, mama.”

Chapter Text

Ruka could hardly take her eyes off Shinjuro the next day. He was in high spirits and wearing her ribbon again. He fluffed and peacocked whenever he noticed her gaze on him, and when they finally met for lunch, he sat as tall as he could in his seat. “Good afternoon, Ruka,” he burbled before he remembered to greet Hata and Mae. His friends trailed after him, taking up spots around their table. 

Ruka has been growing used to the group, but today it was prickling at her nerves. Shinjuro sat across from her, but that meant that he had others at his sides. None of them got as close to him as Hata and Mae did to her; she knew they didn't interest him. Still, she had to take a couple breaths to calm herself.

The conversation chattered around her. Hata leaned on her arm, sighing. Mae mirrored her with a self-conscious and misplaced possessiveness. Ruka considered shaking them off. She looked up at Shinjuro, wondering if her friends upset him.

She might have been imagining the toothiness of his smile, but she wasn't imagining one of his omega friends, a girl who kept to the edge of things, stretching closer to him and sniffing at the ribbon where it sat in his hair. 

Her body moved before she could process. Hands slapped down on the table, and she straightened to her feet. Her friends were dislodged, and conversation halted, and wide eyes landed on her. It was only the furious heat rushing to her face that made her realize why she was so affected by the same things they had been doing every day since their packs had first dined together.

My rut.

She glanced at Shinjuro. He looked just as surprised as everyone else, though not as frightened. The other two alphas bristled and fluffed, and the others displayed a mix of defensiveness and submission. Before anything could happen, Shinjuro animated. “Relax!” He snapped at the other alphas, and when they submitted, everyone else uneasily followed suit, though their gazes flickered to Ruka with confusion, as if they expected him to admonish her as well.

Ruka forced her hair to lay flat. Her heart was beating harder than it should be. “Excuse me,” she said curtly, and stepped away, smoothing her skirt. Her limbs itches to propel her toward Shinjuro- to get them away from him. The tension in her body grew as she walked away. They should know better, she thought. They could smell her scent on him. See her ribbon. She forced herself to breathe. His friends care about him just like mine care about me, she argued to herself. It's nothing more than that.

She ducked into the bathroom and hurried to the mirror. Focusing on her reflection, she corrected each mistake: her jaw was clenched, so she loosened it; her hair still had strands bristling up, so she brushed them down and wet them so they stayed; her brows were drawn down, so she put on a more neutral expression. She couldn't see her scent in the mirror, but she could guess from how she felt that everyone knew she was angry and territorial. This group of people had probably already guessed that there was something between her and Shinjuro when she scented him with her ribbon, but her behavior today was probably still cryptic. That was for the best-

The door clicked. Ruka spun around, her instincts roiling. All the fight dissolved when she saw Shinjuro. Relief. Joy. Her mate. The whiplash was tiring already. Her rut hadn't been this bad before.

“Are you okay?” Shinjuro asked. “If it bothers you to have so many people around, I could tell them to go.”

Ruka imagined him dismissing the whole table so they could sit together alone. Her body hummed, and she smiled. Still, she said, “They're your friends. They weren't doing anything wrong.”

“But they made you upset.” He stepped closer. “I know it's harder when you're in rut to see someone close to- to who you like,” he stammered.

“To my mate,” she growled. 

Shinjuro straightened, cheeks red, and looked at her with sparkling eyes. “Yeah.”

He liked that. Ruka shook her head, trying to clear it. She fought to remember what they were talking about. “...You shouldn't have to do things differently just because I feel like this.

“I would, though.”

“No. I'll behave. I can be normal about this.” She could smell the complexities of his scent: cedar and sandalwood, sweet geranium, amber. It was smoky and sweet and musky, and a certain tanginess in it made her mouth water, even as he sweat nervously.

“What can I do to help?” He asked, drawing closer. 

He hesitated to touch her, and she bridged the gap, hugging his chest hard enough to squeeze a squeak out of him. Having him in her arms immediately settled her nerves. “I just need to hold you,” she sighed, pressing against him.

His heart beat fast against her chest, and he held his breath. He closed his arms around her, slow enough that she could speak up if she wanted to. “You smell so good when you're in rut,” he mumbled into her hair. 

She pressed her head into his neck and purred. “You too.” He smelled better the closer she was to him. That tangy scent stoked her onward, and she licked at the gland on his neck.

He finally inhaled, the breath shuddering. “Ruka-!”

“I'm sorry.” Her face warmed. She started to pull away, but his arms tightened.

“You're special to me,” he assured her, speaking into her ear now. He squeezed her tighter, and she recognized the tanginess for what it was: arousal.

She looked up at him. Seeing his lips parted, and his eyes shaded by his lashes, she leaned in for a kiss. As their lips met, she felt a bulge in his pants press against her; he really did like her.

Shinjuro kissed and sucked at her lips, and she swept her tongue across his, grinding against him. Her instincts pressed to the surface, demanding that she bite him. Claim him . She struggled to fight them off but when he scooped her up and placed her on the sink, she couldn't remember why it was so important to behave.

“I'm yours,” he promised in a mumble against her lips. He moved to her ear and whispered, “Ruka, I promise. No one gets to touch me like this but you.”

She pushed her hands into his hair, dazed by the shift in position and the force of her instincts. Shinjuro wasn't even in season, but breathing him in like this was raising goosebumps on her skin. The urge to claim him was growing more forceful. No one would touch him if I made him mine . There was a reason not to bite him yet, even if her rut-addled brain couldn't remember it. There had to be another way. Desperation was burning in her like a fever. She just wanted it to break.

She started to unbutton her shirt and Shinjuro bridled. He sprang onto his toes, dancing nervously. “Ruka, I- I-”

She pulled her shirt shut. That's right… breasts are too much for him.

Her face must have shown her disappointment, because he dropped to his knees in front of her. “I'm sorry I just- I get nervous, thinking about…” He peered up at her with wide, sheepish eyes. “I can make you happy, Ruka. I promise I can.” One of his hands caught the side of her skirt beseechingly, balling up the fabric in his fist.

The touch to her thigh made her blood rush. She clenched her legs together, mortified by the sudden tightness of her panties. He was on his knees looking up at her with his gorgeous eyes. Now she couldn't help but feel the warmth of his breath on her legs, to smell the ripeness of his arousal, and feel his iron grip on her skirt. Her beautiful mate. Her perfect, handsome mate. He was too shy to say so, but he had ideas for how she could sate her desire to claim him and touch him in a way no one else could. He was showing her.

Ruka cupped her face and caressed his cheek with her thumb. “Do you- you want me?” She stammered. 

Shinjuro's breath caught and he leaned closer, his free hand gripping her calf and sliding upward. “Please.”

Please. He would beg if she wanted him to. She wished she had the patience to witness such a sight, but just one plea was enough to send a jolt up her spine. She slowly opened her legs, giving him a view up her skirt.

He chuffed and his hair bristled. As embarrassed as he was about her breasts, he took to this view easily. More than a view, he pushed his head between her legs, pressing his nose against her damp panties. Ruka yelped and clung to his hair. He lapped at the fabric, tongue so energetic that she had to put her legs up on his shoulders or risk falling off the sink. His shoulders rose and fell with desperate breaths, and he shivered. 

Ruka was so startled by the graceless energy of it that all she could do was watch him shudder and groan just from taste and smell. The feel of it was enough to encourage her dick to grow. Shinjuro nuzzled and licked at her underwear like a starving dog. The heat and pressure and wetness of his fumbling lips and tongue teased and excited.

They weren't enough to do more; he didn't know what he was doing. Still, her heart was pounding and her breath coming out rough. “Shinjuro, you- you have to take them off,” she squirmed, trying to give herself room to remove her underwear.

He didn't understand at first. There was nothing but affection in his eyes when he peeked over the edge of her skirt in confusion. When she reached for the band, he regained some semblance of thought and burrowed back between her legs. With a growl, he caught her panties and jerked his head from side to side, tearing a hole at the bottom.

Ruka gasped as her dick sprang out. “That's it,” she breathed, kneading his scalp in praise. “ Good boy , Shinjuro.” Another shiver ran through him, so she leaned over him and repeated it over and over again. “Good boy. Good boy.”

His nails dug into the back of her thighs and his shoulders shook. He whimpered her name, breath hitching. The tension lasted for a few seconds before he went limp, breathing hard as he leaned his weight on her thigh.

Ruka's instincts sang in approval. My mate is satisfied. As he caught his breath, she stroked his hair. A happy, provided for mate. She could do that. 

After a moment, Shinjuro nestled into her skirt with embarrassment yet again.

“I'm happy you enjoyed that,” she encouraged. “Please, don’t stop.”

Shinjuro whimpered and licked gently at her opening. After just a small taste, he committed in full: first licking tentatively, then lapping thoroughly, and finally slurping with dogged desperation, lips and tongue from top to bottom and bottom to top of her pussy. It wasn’t a technique, but an indulgence. He was drinking her in like he needed her. Ruka moaned his praises. Tadashi had played with her at times, but with such precision that she came when he wanted her to. For Shinjuro, this was a more sincere act. His saliva dripped, spilling with her own fluids between her legs. Her dick stood straight and stiff, dripping precum into his silky hair.

He finally ascended the length of it with his tongue, and she moaned his name. He took it fully into his mouth. Her grip on his hair pulled taut, tugging on his scalp. He purred at the sensation, sending a vibration through her dick. He sucked with all his might, taking it deeper than he knew how, and choked, throat tightening as he gagged.

“ Shinjuro ,” she pushed his head down harder, and his throat fluttered again. She needed this release. Needed Shinjuro. He was her mate, after all. He fought to adjust, cheeks hollowing and throat steadying. She praised him, crooning guidance and moving his head just right. He was doing reasonably well for the first time and purring all the while. 

Ruka had never been so into sex. Sweat beaded her forehead, and her breath came out hard. Her muscles twitched and jumped under her skin, nearing closer and closer to a full lack of control. Shinjuro was so pretty. So cute and so handsome on his knees for her. His eyes were narrowed in concentration, brow furrowed, lips and mouth and throat working to suckle her. Warm breaths huffed from his nose, ruffling her pubic hair. Her skirt was hitched up around her waist, having traveled in their fervor, and the sink was slippery beneath her. His hands had to keep her steady.

He was doing something now, his mouth closing tighter. His eyes widened, too, the glints in his irises visible now without the shade of his eyelashes. Ruka tossed her head back and keened, emptying into his throat. The gush of fluid was enough to make him gag one more time before he managed to swallow, gulping clumsily.

And at once the friction and heat and wetness of her orgasm gave way to calm. The happy emotions running their relay through her veins passed the baton to the next runner, and she slumped forward, so calm and satisfied that she could hardly move. She let her hands slip to his shoulders.

He shifted, tried to pull away, and whimpered when he met resistance. The tug was unfamiliar, and for a moment she shared his alarm. She straightened and lifted her skirt to look down at him more fully. Shinjuro looked up at her with wide eyes and tried to shift his head to one side, and then the other. The pressure on either side of her penis made her toes twitch. Luckily he didn’t try to move too far.

“We’re tied,” Ruka said, mystified. She must have finally done things right if she knotted him. She sighed in relief and slumped over him again, awkwardly trying to hug his shoulders. “Wow… This is…” The words escaped her. Nothing in her vocabulary touched this satisfaction. Shinjuro would stay here with her, hopefully forever. “This is wonderful.”

He sighed, too, the sound whistling through his nose. He was growing more tense and uncomfortable, though. She did her best to calm him by cooing gentle praise and stroking his hair. “You’re safe with me.”

Click.

Ruka bolted upright, a wordless snarl ripping from her lips. The door had opened. Someone was interrupting their moment, threatening her mate. Get away. Her hair bristled, her muscles bunched. Get out! He’s mine!

Only when she saw the shocked expression of a professor did the reality of the situation strike. Though her instincts screamed at her to protect, her defenses fell just like the rest of the world around her.

Chapter Text

Ruka spiraled. The professor informed them that their parents had been called and that they would be disciplined. Shinjuro could do no more than whimper and press a provided ice pack as close to his mouth as he could get, making Ruka’s undercarriage excruciatingly cold. Finally, when he pulled, her knot slipped between his teeth. A string of saliva connected his lips as her dick fell limp and slowly retracted.

Shinjuro took a deep breath and licked his lips.

Only then did it occur to Ruka, who was panicking in silence, to say, “I've never knotted before. I'm sorry.”

Shinjuro blushed.

“Your parents are here. Are you… decent?” The professor asked from outside the door.

“Almost,” Shinjuro croaked. He ripped a handful of paper towels out of the dispenser and gave her most of them. “Here, for your underwear.” His voice was quiet, practically whispering, and raw. The initial blush had left his face, exchanged for a terrified pallor. Fear was rolling off him- a stinking, stressed aura. She doubted she was doing much better.  “I should have known that would happen,” he mumbled.

Ruka folded and laid the paper towels in her underwear, doing her best to mend the hole Shinjuro had ripped out. A terrible sinking feeling was coming over her. “Known what?”

“About your… that we would get stuck. I wasn't thinking,” he answered. “I'm sorry.”

“I wasn't either.” She forced herself to breathe slowly, counting the time between inhale and exhale. Tears stung at the corners of her eyes.

She could feel a tremor in his hands as he took hers. “It will be alright,” he assured her.

She was the one in rut. She was supposed to protect him. Her throat tightened. She nodded.

They stepped out holding hands, squeezing reassuringly. 

“Please step apart,” The professor said firmly. He wasn’t alone. There was a second professor. They held out muzzles to Shinjuro and Ruka.

Ruka grit her teeth. A muzzle spurned her already bruised and bloodied pride, as did the order, but they were in enough trouble. She took it and clasped it behind her head. It was rubber, with long vertical holes. Warm, sweaty, and smelling of cleaner, it closed in around her face. Shinjuro took it well, but Ruka had to fight to keep her breaths steady.

Shinjuro reached for her hand again, and the first professor tsked and commanded, “No. Rengoku, follow me.” He shrunk and slunk after her.

Ruka followed the other teacher obediently, looking over her shoulder at Shinjuro with a frown. He led her into the dean’s office, and he looked at her sternly. But it was her father’s form, standing in front of the desk, that made her freeze up. Ruka’s mouth felt dry. She hunched as if she could disappear into herself.

Her father hurried closer. “What did that brute do to you?” he demanded.

“I’d like to ask the same thing,” the dean said in a voice that was smooth, but gently dominant. 

When her father whipped around to leer at him, Ruka scurried in and sat at the seat in front of the desk. She could only move when his gaze was elsewhere, and she looked down into her lap in hopes of avoiding it.

“What happened?” The dean asked.

A sickening tangle of dread and humiliation twisted her guts.

“It’s okay,” Her father said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

From the firmness of his touch, she wasn’t so sure that was what he thought. Why would he say that in the first place?

“Say something, Ruka,” Her father hissed.

“I was upset,” she croaked. He straightened, looking somewhat relieved. More words came out in clipped phrases: “Someone else touched him. I didn’t like that. So I left. But Shinjuro came. He checked on me. And- And I knotted-”

“Enough.” Her father turned to the dean. “I don’t want that Rengoku and his ilk anywhere near my daughter.” Disgust entered his voice. “He took advantage of her.”

No!

The dean leaned back in his seat. “Can I ask some questions?”

Her father scowled, but didn’t object.

“Did you feel forced into this encounter?”

“No!” The question finally broke through her rising panic. “No, I-”

“That’s enough, Ruka.” Her father’s lips twitched in disdain. “My daughter would not associate with his kind. She is not a backward deviant.”

“I am not suggesting that.” The dean took a slow breath and steepled his fingers. The momentary quiet was agonizing. Ruka wanted to disappear. “It is just my job to fully understand the situation.”

“There is nothing more to understand,” her father’s voice was rough, nearly a growl. “If it were my decision I wouldn’t allow people like that at my institution.”

“It is not your decision or your institution,” the dean responded. “Shinjuro is a fine student.”

“Ruka is a better one.”

“Shinjuro,” Ruka forced the word out in a squeak and looked up at her father, “didn’t hurt me. He’s not like that.”

They both fell silent. Her father’s brows pulled together, his nose wrinkled, and his nostrils flared. The admission had only made him angrier.

Something in her mind clicked, and it echoed horrifically loud in the hollow of her. He would have preferred that over me choosing to be with Shinjuro. The realization was enough to silence her.

“There is another explanation for this,” the dean compromised. “This could have been an exercise in dominance, to which they both consented.”

“Barbaric,” her father growled.

“Immature,” the dean corrected. “They are both young.”

“I don’t need to hear this.” He turned and marched toward the door. “Ruka. Follow.”

She jumped up and hurried after him, head down and hands shaking. Maybe more of her was shaking; the whole world seemed to be shivering. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Shinjuro sitting in a chair outside the office. He was scrunched low in his seat, with a couple of alphas she assumed were his parents at either side. He started to rise when he saw her, but his father put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back into his seat. 

“What were you thinking?” her father demanded. As soon as they had arrived home, he sent her mother to check on Tadashi, who was still resting in Ruka's room. It was just the two of them in the front room, and he turned on her, finally bearing his teeth. “Letting that brute touch you, what kind of alpha are you?” he hissed.

Ruka shrunk away. There was no hiding it now. “I-I like him.”

“No, you don’t.” His voice was short and clipped. A command. “Only perverts feel that way. Beasts.”

She wished she could prove it. That Shinjuro had bitten her, that she had bitten him, and that his blood was still on her lips. She wanted something to show how she felt. Her face burned. She couldn’t tell if it was shame or anger, but she couldn’t just stand there and let him insult Shinjuro. “That’s not true,” she murmured.

“Excuse me?”

“He’s not a beast. He sweet and handsome and-”

“A degenerate like that will defile you. You have a real omega mate ,” he said, lip curled as he leaned over her.

Her hair bristled, her teeth bared. She curled her hands into fists, squeezing so hard her nails bit into her palms. You mean the one you wanted me to rape? “I’m having Shinjuro’s pups,” she declared, shaking with fury. “It’s what I want. ”

His lips curled with disgust, and a flash of something glinted in his eyes. Then he shook his head. “You’re never seeing him again. You wouldn’t drag your family’s name through the mud like that. No good child would.”

Ruka was hardly listening. Her vision blurred and reddened. Her heart was pounding in her ears. “I mean it.” Her instincts were telling her to get him away from her. To hurt her father and protect her mate. She could only do one of those things, petty as it was. “I tried doing what you want,” she said coldly, “But it’s too late. Why don’t you think Tadashi got pregnant? Why don't you think he was the one to put me in rut? I'm already carrying Shinjuro's pups. My body knows who my mate is.”

He recoiled. “No-”

“Yes!” Don't let him think too hard about it. “I'm pregnant.”

All the anger was ironed from his face in a flash of that same emotion she had seen earlier. She recognized it, finally, by the way she could see the whites all around his irises: fear.

He hastily pulled himself together. His brows drew in, shading his eyes, and his movements grew terse. Catching her arm, he said with exaggerated evenness, “That can be fixed. No one has to know.” His scent washed over her, trying to make her limbs heavy and her thoughts clouded.

Ruka ripped her arm away, panic rushing through her. “This isn't a mistake!” She snarled. “He's my mate! My pups will never have to be fixed!” Her voice was raising to the point of hysterics. It was the only way she could think to resist his pheromones. “Don't touch me!”

His voice was caught between shushing her and being heard over her. “Ruka-!”

“What's going on?”

They both startled into silence, their eyes flicking up to the hall. Ruka's mother stood, hair standing. “ You're pregnant? How is that possible?”

Ruka's face reddened. She didn't want to hear her mother's ignorance. Her mother's story of a bite on her wedding night, contrasted with her own experience with Tadashi, made her resent her father more than ever.

Strangely, her father seemed just as unhappy. “It's nothing, my love. Let us alphas deal with this,” he crooned.

“No.”

Her mother's objection was just as startling as the initial interruption. They both stared at her, baffled. 

“If my daughter is pregnant,” she said, sounding almost sheepish, “I need to know. How? I didn't think alphas could…”

“It seems female alphas can, but you don't need to worry about that.” He leered at Ruka. “We will take care of it, and she will stay with Tadashi like we planned.”

Ruka scowled, but her courage was withering. Seeing her mother had shocked it out of her, and she didn't have the bravado to cough up another convincing lie.

“Take care of it?” Her mother's eyes rounded innocently.

“Yes. We can make sure that she and Tadashi have pups instead,” he said gently.

The innocence left her mother's eyes. They narrowed suspiciously. “How?” At her father's hesitation, her mother looked to Ruka. “What a terrible thing to threaten, to take someone’s baby away. That's not what you want, is it, Ruka?”

His brows rose. “Her feelings don't-”

“Please, let me talk to her,” her mother insisted. “You couldn't possibly understand how it feels to be a mother.” She drew closer, looked up at him, and stood on her toes to murmur too quietly for Ruka to hear over her own pounding heart. 

I couldn't possibly understand it either, Ruka thought, but she kept her mouth miserably shut.

Her father grit his teeth and glanced between them. Finally, he relented, turning and stepping out the front door in a huff.

Now it was her turn to face her mother, and Ruka didn't know what to expect. She sank back as her mother approached.

“Listen, my dear, I would never ask you to give up a child. I know how it feels.” Her voice was gentle, and she lifted her hands in a placating gesture. “I don't want to lose you to everything you're going through, either, so I'll support you.”

“...Really?” The word was brittle with disbelief.

“Really. Come here, dear.”

Ruka tried to even her breathing and relax. Cautiously, she followed her mother to sit at the table. 

“I don't know what it's like to be an alpha,” she admitted, “But if you can conceive, then it can't be as different as I thought it was.” Her mother sounded almost relieved. She reached over and stroked Ruka's hair. “I was afraid with the way you were acting out, that you would get someone else pregnant. I never expected this.”

Slowly, Ruka’s panic turned to unease. Maybe her mother would protect her. She hadn't thought it likely, or even possible, before now. “I… I'm sorry.” She hesitated to say it at first. Was she sorry that she liked Shinjuro or that she protected Tadashi? No. But she was sorry she hadn’t turned out to be the daughter they wanted. She was sorry she wasn’t a normal alpha, and that she had caught her mother up in this nonsense. Her mother was acting this way because she had lied.

“Your father is afraid for you,” she assured her. “That's why he's so hard on you.”

Ruka swallowed around a lump in her throat and nodded slightly. She knew that, deep down. He wanted her to succeed and have an honorable, successful life. 

“I think… I have an idea.” She straightened in her seat. “We can take a long vacation until you have your pup. You, me, your father, and Tadashi.”

She stared. “Tadashi?”

“Yes!” Putting on a smile, she explained, “then we can say that Tadashi had it. No one will bat an eye.”

Ruka shot up from her seat, all anxiety returning. How could I be so stupid?! Neither of them are listening to me! “Mama, what about Shinjuro?”

“This will be better, healthier,” her mother cooed. “Ruka, listen, two alphas couldn't raise a baby. Don't you want your child to grow up happy?”

Ruka shook her head. No no no! “I- I can't! It will have Shinjuro's hair!” She grasped at straws. “They're samurai, they have colorful manes! Anyone would see it and know!”

“Oh…” Her mother's brows furrowed pensively. “But maybe their hair will take after yours. Let's just try.”

Ruka paced the room, pulling at her hair. “I-I'm going to see Tadashi.” Before her mother could reply, she hurried off to her room. 

Tadashi jumped when she entered. “Ruka- ugh.” He put a hand over his nose and backed away. Color entered his cheeks. 

She blinked in surprise and backed out, closing the door between them. “I'm sorry.” My rut. “I just. I told them. They found out,” she whimpered. She barely managed to keep her voice from cracking.

“... Shit,” came Tadashi's voice from the other side of the door. 

“I'm sorry.” Her throat was tight. “Do you need anything? Are you…okay?”

There was a moment of silence. “No. I'm fine. Good luck with Shinjuro.”

“Thanks.” She laughed humorously and sat against the door. “Good luck with… everything.”

“Thanks.”

Her mother, who had surely heard the conversation, came around the corner. “Tadashi, I'm sorry, but this could still be a happy life. We'll make it work. You don't need to be angry.”

Ruka pictured Tadashi smiling at her mother's misunderstanding of the situation. “I'll think about it. Need some time to ruminate.”

“Take all the time you need,” her mother cooed. She walked over to Ruka and patted her head. “It will all work out after all, my dear.”

“Yeah.” Ruka curled up on the floor in front of the door. If Tadashi was going to take the opportunity to run now, then she could at least forestall the discovery of his absence. “... Thanks mother.”

Her mother sighed, looking down at her on the floor. She opened her mouth, closed it again, and went to the closet. She gathered pillows and blankets, and tucked Ruka in on the floor. Ruka let her kiss her forehead, and then went quiet. It was still the middle of the day, but she was exhausted. She was wired, too. She doubted she could nap, but she would try. She had a feeling she would need her energy in the days to come.

Ruka slept outside her own bedroom door, tossing and turning on the floor. She prickled when she heard the creak of steps on the floorboards, but her father did not come to reprimand her. He didn’t even look at her when he and her mother stepped past Ruka to go to their rooms. In the past, he had always controlled his scent and pheromones. Now they crushed down on her when he passed: possessiveness, stress, anger. Bitter emotions flattened her against the wall, even with her own rut instincts stirring in objection. Her rut was the only thing giving her enough courage to keep from fleeing. Her mother fawned over him, murmuring kindly reassurances and nuzzling him. She offered Ruka a brief sympathetic smile before they disappeared into their bedroom.

Ruka breathed a sigh of relief and uncurled after they passed. It was quiet for a while longer. Then she heard Tadashi step lightly around her room, and the quiet shift of him gathering his things. And then the house was silent again. They had already said their goodbyes.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Ruka rose as soon as was reasonable and started cooking. Her parents would be in better moods if they had full stomachs. She made a plate for Tadashi, too, as if he would be there to enjoy it. Her heart was pounding when her father paced out into the kitchen, her mother on his heels.

Though her body was tense, Ruka continued setting out breakfast without looking up until her father snatched the pot from her. “Go get your mate,” he commanded.

Ruka clenched her fists and hurried off to her own room. As she expected, it was empty. She didn’t have to feign concern; she just let her already present anxiety show on her face. She sniffed around the room, pausing at the window. She could smell him still. Hopefully it wasn’t a trail fresh enough to be followed. There was an envelope addressed to his parents on her nightstand, and only a small note for her: 

Thank you for welcoming me into your home, for caring for me when I was unable to care for myself, and for allowing me the pleasure to know you. Ruka, you will always be my friend.

 She couldn’t imagine writing such a letter if she were in his place. Despite her best efforts, she had hurt him. Ruka could still see the pleading in his eyes when she pinned him. She had stopped herself, yes, but the damage was done. Both she and her family had treated him terribly. Her throat felt tight reading it. Why would you thank me?

Stomach hollow, she returned to the kitchen and tugged at her mother’s sleeve. Her mother offered her a strained smile. “What is it, my dear?”

“Where is Tadashi?” her father demanded.

Ruka shrunk and showed them the note and the envelope. “I couldn’t find him.”

He hurried past her and into Ruka’s room. Uncharacteristically, he lifted his nose and sniffed the air. He followed Tadashi’s scent to the window and chuffed. Finally he leapt out, and continued searching with long lopes over the grass.

“Ruka, what does the note say?” Her mother hissed, bitter with anxiety. Ruka handed the notes over. The envelope wasn’t sealed; Tadashi must have known her parents would look for answers. Her mother read its contents over. Her expression only grew more troubled. Finally, she lifted her head. “Don't worry, Ruka. Your father will find him, or he'll come back in a day or so.”

“Mother…” Ruka softened her voice. “Mama, I don't think so. What did his letter to his parents say?”

“Well, it… It's different to say you're going to do something than it is to do it.” Her mother tucked the note away and wrung her hands. “Your father will find him.”

“What will we do if he doesn't?” Her rut made her brave and she pushed, “I can't just have a baby without a mate.”

Her mother's fear was rolling off her in waves, and at this, she went pale. “You won't!” She assured her. “Not if we can't find Tadashi, it will be hard to-”

“Shinjuro wants to marry me,” Ruka said. 

“Stop!” Her mother was nearly in tears. “We'll find someone that suits you. Don't talk like that.” She turned and hurried off. In the kitchen, Ruka heard her flip through her contact book. Ruka glanced toward the window. Stay safe out there, Tadashi.

Her father did not get violent when he couldn't find Tadashi, but he did get loud. Ruka laid in bed, listening to him try and fail to calm himself. His mother could talk him down for a moment, and then she would try to think of a solution, and he would grow upset again. They grew more quiet throughout the day and the night, each outburst shorter, contemplation more hushed. 

The next morning, Ruka's mother dressed her in her new kimono and brought from house to house, speaking very carefully with her friends with omega children around Ruka's age. Meanwhile, her father delivered Tadashi's letter to his parents.

Ruka did not smile. She couldn’t work up the urge to sniff at the omegas. Her eyes wandered to the windows. Was Tadashi safe? Was Shinjuro in trouble, too? Instincts bore into her: collect your pack! Protect your mate! Her aloofness, coupled with her mother's gentle insistence for a wedding before the end of the school year, was enough to ensure their refusal. 

As they left one house, her mother turned to her. “Why won't you act right? Where is my charming daughter? No one will like you if you scowl.”

“They don't like the idea of marrying me so soon, anyway. They think there's something wrong with me,” Ruka said, averting her gaze.

Her mother pressed her mouth into a thin line. After a few minutes of silence, she took a deep breath. “We don't have time to be picky-”

“There’s… someone who wants me.”

Her mother bristled and kept her gaze ahead.

“Mother,” Ruka crooned, trying to mimic her father when he was calm and confident. “Asking everyone will just convince them that I'm a problem.”

Her mother wrinkled her nose and continued marching down the street. Anger sparked on her red cheeks and her harsh scent.

I am a problem, Ruka thought. She followed her mother with heavy steps.

Another night passed with her parents arguing in hushed voices. Ruka paced her room, counting out each breath. The walls felt too close, and the room felt too empty all at once. She tried to imagine anyone beside her. Closing her eyes, she pictured Hata and Mae, Tadashi, and Shinjuro. Even his pack of friends could come. Anyone, as long as she wasn’t alone.

The following morning, her mother nudged her awake. They went through the same ritual they had the previous morning: Ruka washed and dressed in her fancy kimono, which had been carefully cleaned. Her mother styled her hair and pinned it up. Her expression was focused, mouth pressed on a thin line. Ruka closed her eyes as her mother painted her eyelids. 

Looking into the mirror, she saw that she had been styled more traditionally than yesterday. Ruka tilted her head, observing her eyes and hair curiously.

When she stepped out, her father was also dressed up; he was coming with them this time. His scent was controlled, but his brow was furrowed. Gathering his family to him, he led the way out of the house.

The manor grew larger in their sights. It was sprawling: a big, old home. They were allowed through a gate and welcomed into a washitsu that was sparsely decorated. Light flooded in from an open door to a courtyard lined with white stone. Straightening, Ruka sniffed the air; it was heavy with alpha musk whose basest notes were familiar. Shinjuro? But it wasn't the same. This was someone else. Older, more mature, and much more complex. Still, Ruka couldn't still the excited thump of her heart.

Her mother fell back a step, grasping her father's hand and letting him lead. Her eyes flicked back and forth, and her scent, though hard to detect over the alphas’ was bitter with fear.

Her father squared his shoulders and looked ahead, exuding confidence, but no strong scent. His lip twitched, but he didn't bare his teeth. 

Then Ruka saw their hosts. The first that caught her eye was a man with red and yellow locks and bright red and gold eyes. He looked just like Shinjuro. Beside him, a woman knelt at the chabudai, sitting as an equal, it seemed. Her dark hair had flashes of a lighter color, reminiscent of bird feathers. She resembled Shinjuro in the shape of her face and the angle of her nose, if not in the color of her hair. Her eyes also shined, though they looked subdued, even milky in color. 

Excitement thrilled through Ruka. She felt her hair start to rise and a delighted coo nearly left her throat. She looked around, hoping to spot Shinjuro and- yes! There he was behind them, low in submission, with his gaze down.

“ Behave yourself ,” her father hissed.

Ruka dropped onto the flats of her feet; she hadn't realized she was standing on her toes. She shifted her weight restlessly before forcing herself to be still. What's going on? Shinjuro was here. They were meeting his family. She was wearing her good kimono. She couldn't help but try to catch his eye. She couldn't even smell him over his parents. Look at me, she silently begged. Her rut instincts kicked at her to get his attention, but she would have to behave. At least for now. 

“Thank you for your hospitality,” her father crooned as he and her mother knelt at the table. Ruka sat back behind them, mirroring Shinjuro’s placement. 

“It is our honor,” Mr. Rengoku replied. They exchanged introductions, and tea was brought out before he continued in a deep croon, “May I assume this meeting is about our children's indiscretions?”

“It was a catalyst,” her father responded, matching the Rengoku in tone. “But it is not the only reason we are here.” He paused, expecting to put their host at some disadvantage, making him ask for clarification. 

Instead, Mr. Rengoku nodded in agreement, too at ease to be led. “Yes, my son has told me a lot about the situation. It does not excuse his behavior,” he leveled a cutting look back at Shinjuro, who showed his throat in repentance, “But it does offer some confidence that this was a nonviolent affair.”

Her father's shoulders tensed. “Yes, Ruka has told us about the circumstances, too. Inappropriate as they were, I believe that it is an opportunity.”

Their host blinked in surprise. “Oh?”

A dark, angry scent seeped from her father. “Don't you think that it's only right that they marry?” 

Ruka had to tense every muscle to keep from moving. She looked at Shinjuro, who had looked up, too, eyes glowing with excitement. She wanted to wriggle happily, but she managed only to grin at him. He smiled back before looking down again. 

“A marriage would be agreeable to you,” Mr. Rengoku said, halfway to a question.

“Of course,” her father said. There was a hint of sourness in his scent that Ruka could recognize as a lie, but it was faint. She doubted the other family could smell it. “And as soon as possible.”

Ah, Ruka's fake pregnancy had really driven her family to desperation. She kneaded the tatami silently, swallowing her last sips of guilt. They would really be together soon! 

Mr. Rengoku’s gaze slipped over to Ruka, and her father bristled slightly. She met the strange alpha’s gaze for a moment, registered his searching curiosity, and then let her gaze fall politely. Please like me!  

“Shinjuro has had nothing but kind words to say about your daughter,” he finally said. “Had I expected your customs to allow their union, I would have contacted you sooner.”

“There are clearly no laws against it,” her father said evenly, gaze flickering between the two married alphas. “We can arrange a wedding. We'll happily take him in.”

Their host puffed a little. “We would have her here. This manor has been our family home for generations, and Shinjuro is our only son.”

Her father balked. “Our home isn't good enough for you?”

Shinjuro's mother put a hand on his arm. “We mean no offense. It isn't the quality of your home. It's that someone must care for the manor, even after we are gone.”

Her father smarted. He didn't want to give up anything in this arrangement. “And I suppose you want her to carry his name, too?”

They both blinked at him, surprised by his hostility.

Her own mother acted now, not speaking up or challenging him, but taking and squeezing her father's hand.

He took a breath and glanced at her, and then Ruka. He swallowed his pride. “Fine. As long as the wedding is before the school year's end.”

Again, she felt the elder Rengokus’ eyes on her. Finally, “That can be arranged. We will have it as soon as we can. Before the end of her rut, if possible.”

Her own parents let out a breath. Ruka's heart sang. Her cheeks flushed. She was so relieved, so overjoyed, that she didn’t follow the conversation much after that. Logistics, schedules- all very important, she was sure. She would have to figure it out later. For now, she couldn’t peel her eyes off Shinjuro. Ruka memorized him with the zeal she hadn’t been allowed before. Every hair on his head, every mark and wrinkle on his skin, every drop of blood running through him… He’s mine. He’s mine. He’s mine!

She had been examining the shine in Shinjuro’s eyes. Perhaps he was doing the same, since they were enjoying each other’s eye contact for some time without looking away. “Ruka,” her father’s voice cut through to her.

She startled and almost growled at him. “We are going. You will  move in tomorrow after the ceremony.”

Tomorrow? She managed to avoid asking out loud and revealing how little she had been paying attention. She only nodded and threw a smile in Shinjuro’s direction.

“Shameless, the way you look at him.” Her mother curled her lip in disgust. “Ruka, I can’t believe my innocent girl could ever have such a look in her eyes.”

“For another alpha, no less,” he father grumbled. “I suppose we should be happy that you’ll carry his family name and not mine.”

Ruka shrunk under their admonishments. Her parents reeked of frustration, fear, and anger. They agreed to it, didn’t they? Why are they so unhappy? She knew they wouldn’t approve. She knew they were being forced into it. But what purpose did it serve to get angry now?

“We should hold our tongues,” her mother said sourly. She curled and uncurled her fists. “She is with child, after all…”

Her father scowled and gave her a look that made Ruka whither. If stress could terminate her fake pregnancy, she expected it would have by now.

“Just try to have some decency, Ruka.” Her mother struggled to return her usual gentleness to her voice. The next few words weren't meant for her, but she heard them, anyway. “If she couldn’t be normal…”

Fighting to control her breathing, Ruka nodded. Her chest hurt. Her muscles tightened. I can do better. I can be decent. 

It’s already too late to be normal. 

She pushed the thought down, letting images of Shinjuro rise up in its place. She squared her shoulder and, subtly, as not to draw her parent’s ire, gave her mane a shake. I don’t need to be normal. I’ll be better than decent. Nothing her parents could say would make her regret choosing Shinjuro. Someday they would understand. My mate and my family will be good. They’ll see.

Chapter Text

So fast! Even Ruka’s parents were surprised by the speed at which the ceremony came together. Her parents met the Rengokus’ gifts with their own, and they ate lunch together the next afternoon before traveling to a shrine to make offerings. It was a whirlwind day. By necessity, only their immediate families were there, but it felt like too many people when she was in rut. She wanted Shinjuro to herself, and she would have liked to savor their wedding day.

The events only slowed as the sky darkened and the fireflies started twinkling to match the stars above. Though they could still spot city lights through the branches, their pavilion was just down the road from the shrine, and it felt cozy. The last part of the ceremony, their bond bites, had arrived. Ruka had expected this to be private, as she had been taught when she intended to take an omega mate. An omega was expected to submit to being claimed in deep intimacy, and alphas were to indulge fully in the moment. Ruka couldn't believe her parents had allowed a public claiming, though she expected that the decision was made with the compromise that Shinjuro would bare his neck first. In an alpha wedding, both parties were bitten; typically the one intending to bear children submitted first.

She knelt across from Shinjuro. His eyes shined in the dim light, and he looked at her intently, smiling. She smiled back. His scent was deep cedar and amber, but also spritely with joy, flowery, clean, and with a hint of spice. His emotions, all the joy and anticipation, the desires and anxieties for the future, came out in a way that was easy to read. They were both feeling their family's eyes on them. 

Shinjuro's face colored slightly as he tilted his neck aside. The sight was familiar. He had bared his neck to her plenty of times before.

You didn't mean to? The disappointment she remembered in his voice when she had first bitten him came back with clarity. Had he expected her to be so forward?

“I mean it now,” she whispered . Ruka leaned closer and brushed his black silk Haori aside, exposing more of his soft skin. Her instincts thrummed. It wasn't so bad that they were looking. Everyone would know he was hers. She brushed her lips over his skin and breathed him in. She could feel the racing beat of his heart. Then quick, but precise, she pierced him. Her fangs sunk in, and she bit harder than she had planned, making him grunt. His breath shuddered in her ear.

Mine. She sighed, running her tongue over his broken skin before releasing him. The night was brighter, warmer, and sharper. My husband. My mate. The raw taste of his blood made her nostrils flare. No one touched him like this but her. No one ever would. Controlling her breathing, Ruka straightened and peered up at him with deep satisfaction.

Shinjuro's lips had parted, and his chest rose and fell a bit too quickly to miss the notice of their audience

She tilted her head aside, and he fell on her neck gracelessly. Her kimono nearly slipped scandalously off her shoulder. She stopped it with one hand. Ruka expected his bite to hurt. His teeth pierced and stung for a moment, but the pain faded to a staticy awareness. With it, there was nothing but him and her and this moment: the warmth of his breath, the caress of his lips, and the lasting ache as he pulled his teeth out and licked gently at her wound. She gripped his haori and leaned into him with a contented sigh.

“Did I do it right?” Shinjuro whispered, wrapping his arms around her.

She giggled. “Yes. It was perfect.”

The reception was much easier than the rest of the day, except for the physical affection. Shinjuro's family blessed and praised him, scented and nuzzled him, purred and nipped playfully. They offered the same affection to Ruka, and she endured it until her father chased them away with barely polite rejection. If she weren’t so grateful for his intervention, she would have asked why he was protective. It wasn’t like her innocence could be saved now. She didn't mind her own parents’ lack of enthusiasm; at least they didn't seem upset. The day had tired them, too.

Luckily a reception with little attendance was a short one. Soon, they were shown to their new home: a wing of the manor just for them. It was unlived in but recently cleaned and stocked. They were left alone with their good wishes. Finally, she had Shinjuro to herself. She turned to him, smiling. He was beaming back at her, his eyes the brightest light in the room. 

He cupped her face and kissed her with care: another one of those carefully practiced kisses.

As they pulled away, she growled quietly. She hoped it sounded playful. “You smell like your family.”

He nuzzled her and his own odor poked through his family's scent markings. “They're happy, but they're worried, too,” he said. “Not as scary as your parents.”

She wrinkled her nose and rubbed her jaw along his cheek. Seeing so many people touch her mate made her skin prickle, regardless of who they were. She focused on that instead of her own parents. “Are they going to check on us soon?” She could hardly believe they had left them alone. 

He tilted his head at her and smiled crookedly. “Not until we invite them. We've got to get settled into our territory before we have guests.”

Blinking in surprise, she nodded. Ruka looked around at their territory. This whole place is ours? That’s what they had said, but she hadn’t believed it. It smelled clean with hardly any scents lingering. Decorations were sparse, but the furniture was nice- much of it gifts they had received from their parents or the few family members that could attend on such short notice.

The scents that most rankled her instincts were the ones coming off Shinjuro. She leaned closer, letting her rut stir up her possessiveness. “Let’s bathe. We need to scent our new home, and I want it to smell like us .”

His brows raised and his face colored. “Yeah. You’re right.” He swallowed and slipped his fingers down her spine. The motion was far from smooth. If his scent was any indication, he was as nervous as ever.

“We don’t have to look at each other right away unless you want to.” Her hair rose a bit at the idea of seeing his whole bare body. Ruka focused on keeping her breathing slow. She wasn’t focused on sex. She would take things slow with him. Securing their territory was her priority for now.

Shinjuro led her to the bathroom. Despite the manor’s age, it had modern appliances. They could both fit under the shower head or in the tub to soak. Ruka shrugged off her dress kimono, leaving her in her underdress, and turned her back to him. “I can go first.”

“Let’s bathe together.” Shinjuro stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Is that okay?”

“I thought you would be nervous,” she teased.

He squeezed her a little tighter, and she felt his heart hammer against her back. “You're my mate and my wife, now,” he said, kissing her neck. “I want to see you.”

Ruka shivered. “You're right. Let's bathe together.” Wriggling free, she turned to undress him. His haori slipped off with ease, but she could smell bitter anxiety along with tangy arousal as she removed more layers. She watched his face as his pants fell. “You finish. I'll get the water going.”

He sighed. “Yes…”

The shower warmed quickly, and she slipped out of her underdress with her back to him. “How about we start back-to-back.”

“Y-yes. Alright.”

“You can look at me whenever you want.”  She stepped under the falling water and tilted her head back, letting it wash over her face and through her hair. Was she imagining his gaze on her?

He stepped in behind her. Closer, she silently begged him, but he washed himself dutifully. The stink of the reception ran off his skin and swirled soapily down the drain. She followed his lead. Soon enough the warm, wet air smelled only of the two of them. Each breath of it stoked a flame inside her, the kind that warmed its home like a hearth.

“Can I touch you, Ruka?” He asked.

Ruka straightened eagerly. “Of course.” 

He didn't answer, but shifted, and then his soapy hands wrapped around her. She was surprised by how safe she felt in his arms; her emotion and her rut felt like an extension of herself, a limb she could move at will. She could choose to draw upon her arousal or her possessiveness or her affection. I thought I was controlling my emotions before… This is different. I can do whatever I want! Her muscles loosened. She sank against Shinjuro, sighing.

His arms easily supported her weight. One hand spread over her belly, thumb tickling her ribs. He didn't seem to know what to do with the other, so Ruka took it, purring. She kissed his wet knuckles only to wrinkle her nose at the taste of soap. 

Shinjuro snorted back a giggle. “You're so cute.” Kissing her neck, he added, “I can't believe this. I mean- I knew you could do it, but I still…” he squeezed her lightly. “When I see you, I can't believe you're mine.”

“There’s so much I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t met you.” Turning his hand in the water rinsed it off, and she kissed it again. His touch was gentle, so she matched it, not pushing things any further. Enveloped in the warm, wet air, rich with their mixed odors, she experienced a peace she never had before. “I love you, Shinjuro.”

He rumbled happily in response. “I love you, too.”

Ruka let Shinjuro lead when it came to touching. He caressed her belly and hips, moving to her thighs. Gently, he squeezed the soft muscle. Ruka purred and leaned into his chest. Wrapping her arms around him, she touched him less intimately than he did her, but no less indulgently. She felt the muscles flex in his back and the sharp blade of his shoulder. With his encouragement- her kisses along his neck, her sighs, and the dance of her fingers- He grew braver. Grasping her ass, nipping her shoulders. She twitched as his fingers probed inside her, slipping easily through her wet opening. That far, and he still hasn't touched or looked at her chest. Funny.

The warm water from the shower dripped down his neck as she leaned her face into it.

“Is this okay?” He murmured. “I-I’ve never touched anyone like this before.”

“I don’t mind.” She guided his hand upward, circling her clit. With enough encouragement, it would grow enough for her to top him. “Do you touch yourself, often?”

His skin reddened under her cheek. “Y-yeah, when I- I think about you, but I don’t have- your, uh-” He tugged his hand away.

Ruka laughed. “You don’t have a vagina, right?”

He drew away, mortified. “Let’s go to bed,” he asked.

She reached over to turn off the water. Was that too forward? Neither of them had been trying to arouse each other, just exploring. At least, she thought so. We’re married. I should just ask. “Shinjuro, do you not like talking about sex?”

He had stepped out and wrapped himself in a towel. “No- No, I mean. I can,” he defended.

“It’s okay. I would just like to know what you like.” She tightened the towel around her chest and found a brush for her drying hair.

“I just want to do it right the first time,” he said.

“Shinjuro… We can do it as many times as it takes to get it perfect,” she assured him.

Quiet. Then, “Even if it takes a long time?”

“Even if it takes our whole lives,” she answered. 

Blinking, he looked up. He stepped into her arms and held her tight. “I'd like that.”

Ruka strolled around the house, as tired as she was restless. Working up the courage to scent the house took time, and her pace was slow. She has to overcome her teaching and remind herself this wasn't a loss of control. This is my home. It's mine. It's okay to scent it.

At her side, Shinjuro watched her with heavy-lidded curiosity and the occasional yawn.

“Do you want to go to bed?” She didn't want him to go, but she didn't want him to work himself too hard. Now that she had investigated much of the house, she was less afraid of intrusion. Her rut was starting to pluck at her more carnal desires, and Shinjuro wasn't ready for that yet.

He hesitated. “No. I just need to move around a little more.” He stretched and purred, trying to look lively. “... How about we play?”

Ruka perked up. “Yes.” She challenge posed, dropping her weight low. Shinjuro did the same, only to spin on his heel and dart down the hall. Chase! She popped up and sprang after him.

Shinjuro quickly shook off his exhaustion; he raced through the halls with strength and grace, quickly pulling ahead. The halls were familiar to him, and Ruka followed his scent as much as her sight, leaving her own scent markings behind to claim the space and avoid doubling back. Her heart pumped eagerly, her senses all heightened. The formerly static air smelled rich with excitement and arousal, and their breaths, laughter, and purrs spiced the night. 

Shinjuro’s hair fluttered out as he paused to look back. She was right on his tail, intoxicated by his presence, and she didn’t have time to stop. He caught her as they collided, and they tumbled over blankets, pillows, and tatami. Ruka squealed in delight. As the pair laid dazed, sprawled across their bedroom, she rolled onto Shinjuro and nipped his neck playfully. “I got you!” She climbed atop him. Victory!

Shinjuro was completely tousled, his head thrown back, his throat bare, and his kimono askew. His chest bounced with raucous laughter. “I’ve never heard you make that sound before,” he finally puffed out, voice hoarse from laughing.

Ruka rumbled with a purr and kissed him. Against his lips, she murmured, “I’ve never been so happy before.” She felt his smile as he put his arms around him. Their chase had woken him up; his skin was flushed. He was warm and his heart beat quickly, his scent was extra musky. He swiped his tongue between her lips. Meeting his challenge, she bit down until blood welled.

Shinjuro groaned and squirmed under her. His hands found her hips and squeezed until his nails dug in.

I guess he’s ready for it after all. Driven by instinct, she moved to bite his neck, her teeth falling into his fresh bond mark. Rocking her hips against his revealed that he was hard, already. He gasped and scrabbled at her, trying to tug her closer, but failing to do so with any plan. Still, his handd managed to strip the top half of her yukata.

Hesitant to release him, lest her breasts scare him away again, she started undressing him, too. Touching the bare skin of his chest set her on fire. She pushed his kimono wide open, the soft, thin cloth falling to his sides among their scattered blankets. “So beautiful,” she breathed over his bond mark. His blood tasted, and his body felt so right.  

Despite her wishes to hide her chest, she needed to back off and take a breath. Luckily, Shinjuro was too shaky to take the opportunity to peek and lose his resolve. “Roll over,” she commanded, straightening to let him shift.

He did as he was told, hips twitching as his erection was pressed between his body and the blankets. Ruka imagined him in his room alone, rutting into the blankets at the thought of her, and felt pressure throb between her legs. Draping herself across her back, she pressed her nose against the back of his neck. He was taller than her, so she couldn’t bite the right spot, but she could still hold him, and with his clothing hanging so loose, she could easily push the fabric out of the way and mount him. Her body sang with desire. He’s mine. Mine-! She lined up with his ass, feeling her tip kiss the quivering ring of muscle.

Shinjuro jumped at the touch, as if that hadn’t been what he was expecting. “Wait!”

Ruka rocked back, hastily pulling her kimono closed as he turned. She gave herself a small shake- I forgot to take things slow! I would have just… Picturing sinking her whole length into him until their hips locked together made her face heat up. She felt so hot she could barely breathe. Be patient! She admonished herself.

He scrabbled to the dresser- their dresser- and rummaged around inside. “... Here.” He thrust a bottle into her hands. It was filled with liquid, though in the dim light, she couldn’t read the label.

“What’s this?” she asked, feeling stupid. It wasn’t just her speed that was wrong?

“Lube. Alphas don’t- we don’t make slick like omegas.” He looked away, cheeks red. “I didn’t think that tonight… I pictured… But-But just in case, it’s traditional.”

Perhaps she was too tired to understand. “Shinjuro, I get wet when I think of you.”

“But you’re a girl!” he said with more desperation.

She shook her head. “If you want me to use it, I will,” she assured him. This was good. It had slowed her down. Maybe that was the reason for this tradition. “I'll be gentle,” she promised.

Taking the bottle, Ruka poured a bit of the oil into her palm. She sat back and, in an effort to show him her thoroughness, spread her legs.  The bottom of her kimono fell open, though she kept the top closed.

His hair fluffed, his face colored, and he shifted, unsure what to do with his erection. She stroked her length demonstratively. Look at me. You like this, don't you?  

“You- you're sure you want to…” Shinjuro's eyes followed the motion of her hand, eyes wide and glowing. “Maybe we should- We could do this more-more traditionally?”

She let out a soft moan as she rubbed herself off. “Okay,” she breathed. “I'll knot you. That's traditional, right?”

He hiccuped.

Hands still wet, she rocked forward. “Shinjuro, you need to… if you want me to slow down, you need to say so.”

“No! I mean- no, no, you don't need to. I want…” He leaned toward her as she crawled closer. When she put a hand on his chest, he let her push him down and spread his legs. “ Please ,” he whimpered.

She pounced on him and rocked her hips against his. Their dicks slipped against one another as if in greeting. “What was that?” She crooned. 

 “Please ,” he gasped, wrapping his arms around her.

“I would love to.” Her hand wandered down his body and circled his asshole. She was surprised to find it dry. The skin was soft, almost velvety, but her finger didn't slide easily in. 

Shinjuro tipped his head back. “Ruka…” The sound was between a growl and a purr.

She fumbled for the bottle again. “I understand now.”

He looked away sheepishly. His grip on her yukata tightened. “I'm sorry.”

“It's not a problem,” she assured him. I should have expected this . He watched her slick her hands with oil. Now, her finger slipped in more easily, but Shinjuro squeaked. So tight! She leaned over him and nuzzled his neck. “Relax. I'll go slow,” she crooned. “Just be good for me.”

He whimpered and nodded. His dick bounced, tapping her belly.

How many fingers before I can knot him? She wondered, working him slowly open. His face shifted with each finger, crinkling at first with the extra effort to accommodate, and then relaxing as she found a comfortable spot to massage. “Ruka, I- I-” A shiver ran through him. Precum gathered at the tip of his dick as she curled three fingers in. For a moment, her eyes fixated on the single glistening bead, a pearl on his ruby head. A jolt ran through her own dick, and she prayed that three was enough preparation, because she couldn't wait any longer.

When she pulled her fingers out, he let out a small grumble. You won't have to wait long, she silently promised. She had already covered his body with her own. She gave herself another couple pumps with her hand before lining up. His opening was more pliant, now, and he groaned as it swallowed her length inch by inch.

Ruka exhaled a snarl. “You're so tight .”

He looked up at her with wide, helpless eyes.

“Does it hurt?” She asked leaning close to nuzzle his neck. 

“It's… weird,” he said, “Not bad, but…” he laid his head back and took a deep breath. She could feel him trying to relax, the muscle fluttering around her. 

“You're being a very good boy.” She wanted to fuck him senseless. She wanted to destroy him. Resting her weight on one hand, she gently caressed his dick instead. Her fingers were still a bit damp, and without thrusting into him, she stroked his length. “Good boy, Shinjuro.”

He grunted in surprise, and his face colored. The stimulation had him chewing on his lip, trying to stay quiet, but when she finally timed her stroking with a thrust of her hips, he moaned. She smiled down at him, and he threw his arms over his face in embarrassment. “Y-you can do that again.”

“You like that?” She purred, his shy praise thrumming through her. She didn't have a choice but to thrust again, this time harder. 

His back arched and another moan escaped him. His voice was deep and masculine, but also uncertain. This sort of pleasure confused him, Ruka guessed. Maybe it was unbefitting a male alpha; some would say it was unbefitting any alpha.

Ruka nipped at his collar bone, growling. “I want to make you feel as good as I do.” It was true. She wanted to do this with him, as much as she wanted to do it to him. Maybe it was confusing for her, too. She had never wanted her mate like this. “Your body is just so… good,” she stammered. 

Shinjuro gasped and groaned, his mouth opened wide, but his face covered otherwise. Ruka wanted to see it, but she wanted to keep touching him, too. Dragging him with her, she sat up, sitting him in her lap. She pulled his body tight against hers and pressed her body against his hard cock.

He yelped as his weight fell further onto her shaft, and it speared deeper. Hot, animal desire rushed over her. Hugging him, she bit into his neck again. 

This time he yelled out something coherent: her name. His hands pushed at her hair, damp with sweat. Was he trying to push her away? She fought her instincts telling her to dig in deeper, and pulled back to look at him-

His eyes were ablaze. For a moment, she thought he was mad. Then he smashed his lips against hers. Their lips bruised, fat and red. Their tongues twined like they were fucking, too. She put her hand on the side of his face tenderly, stabilizing their rough makeout. Then she slammed him down sideways into the blankets. His legs splayed open, and her dick slipped out, but she was quick to replace it, springing forward to catch his leg and brace it against her chest. She straddled the other, riding his thigh as she fucked him.

Shinjuro grasped the sheets and twisted in surprise and pleasure.

“That's it. You can take it, Shinjuro.” She loved looking at him. She could taste his blood on her lips, see his muscular chest rise and fall, feel his body tense and stretch and, and smell his powerful alpha musk as his precum dripped all over the sheets. His voice was starting to sound desperate, and his dick was starting to twitch and tense. Desire shot up her spine and she leaned into him. “Come for me,” she demanded, reaching for his dick. As soon as her fingers closed around it, it tensed. His balls pulsed, and he keened and spilled across the sheets. She could feel his knot in the tightness of her grip, but its swelling was mild.

“Good boy,” she praised, slowing her slapping thrusts. The comment was enough to earn one more grunt and energetic spurt from Shinjuro. 

It was getting harder to move; his insides felt like a thick batter, and she could hardly stir them. Her body filled his completely. She was breathing hard, but she hadn't come. Regardless, she was certain that looking down at him covered in cum, sweat, saliva, and a little blood, she had never been so satisfied.

Letting his leg fall, she untangled their legs and spooned him. She cooed and ran her hands over his skin feather-light. All the while, she rocked her hips slowly, savoring the caress of his body.

He was shaking a little, and it took him a while to catch his breath. Finally he said, “Wow, uh. I-I liked that.”

She purred and kissed his shoulder. “That makes me so happy.” She rocked into him with more energy, and he shivered again. “You wouldn't be able to get pregnant, would you?” She teased. 

He laughed, and the sound warmed her like sunlight. “Maybe in our next life together.”

She moved a little faster now; her knot was what made it difficult, but it was also so sensitive that she didn't need much friction to stimulate it. She let out an indulgent moan. “Promise?” She crooned.

“I promise. He twisted to kiss her. “I love you, Ruka.”

Her hair prickled and her cheeks flushed. Her affection boiled over, and she came hard enough to lose herself in the moment. She clutched onto Shinjuro; he was the only thing tethering her to reality. Just him and her, lost in bliss together.

When she came back to herself, her toes ached from curling, and she was heaving. Shinjuro was looking back at her with a sheepish kind of pride, and she pecked him on the lips before flopping against his broad back. “I love you, too.”

Chapter Text

Ruka alternated between caring for Shinjuro, keeping him hydrated and washing his bond bite, and pinning him down so she could knot him again. Despite his exhaustion, Shinjuro was insistent that he satisfy her. He perked up whenever he had the chance to touch her and offered his mouth when his ass got too sore, but his enthusiasm was no match for her rut. Ruka made the choice for him, holding him until he fell asleep in her arms. Her heart still pattered out its thirsty rhythm: again again again.

Foregoing her sexual instincts was a challenge, but not an unwelcome one. She enjoyed leaning into other affections. Ruka watched Shinjuro’s naked chest rise and fall. She gently combed her fingers through his tangled hair, smoothing it. She scented him, though he already smelled strongly of her. Shinjuro was sleeping deeply enough that her light touches did not disturb him. He leaned his head toward her when she moved, though, sniffing and tossing an arm over her if she rolled away for too long. Warm and fuzzy, that was enough for Ruka to give in; she would just sleep beside him. Ruka nestled close, curling into his arms. He’s mine. We’re safe, she told her instincts. It’s okay to let my guard down.

The next morning, Ruka’s rut had left her body like a spirit, leaving her heavy as a stone. Rolling over, she felt for Shinjuro. Her arm draped over his chest, and she sighed in relief.

“You’re awake,” Shinjuro observed. He rolled over, kissed her, and rubbed his jaw along hers.

She hummed in agreement. Though moving made a sore tremor run through her, she pushed herself up. “I’ll make us breakfast.” That’s what a good alpha does. Not only that, but her stomach felt hollow. She regretted now that her rut made the meals of their wedding day so unappealing.

“Oh. Okay.” He sat up, starting to stretch, before making a face.

“Is something wrong?”

“No. I’m fine.” He hastily rolled to his feet and shuffled toward the bathroom. She watched him go before taking her own walk, washing up a bit as he climbed in the shower.

Ruka started with something simple, but her mind wandered too much, so she tried to drown it in a more complex breakfast. Still, the stress dripped through: That wasn't how we're supposed to consummate a marriage. What will my parents think? She cracked an egg with jerky movements and counted her breaths. They're going to find out that I lied, her heart pounded. Glancing back over her shoulder, she wrangled in her scent. Shinjuro wasn't back yet. Good. She didn't want to worry him.

Carefully, she set out what she would do. The idea came together as their meal did.

By the time Shinjuro stepped out, shirtless, damp-haired, and content, Ruka was sitting at the table. She waited for him to settle and start eating before starting tentatively, “Was last night okay?”

He smiled at her and shifted a bit. “I had a lot of fun.”

“It wasn't too much?”

Shinjuro hesitated.

“Are you sore?” 

Face red, he nodded. “But I still wouldn't mind doing it again.”

“I've never knotted when I'm not in rut. It will probably be easier, but…” She swallowed and brushed a hand through her hair. “Can you penetrate next time?”

He choked. Tried to answer before he could clear his throat. Nodded vigorously while wracked with coughs. Once he could get words out, he wheezed, “Uh-huh. Yes. Why did you say it like that?”

Her cheeks colored and she looked away. “I wanted to be clear. You can get me pregnant, right?”

Shinjuro inhaled sharply. “... So soon? What are you… What's bothering you?” he asked. Before she could deny it, he said, “Your scent. You don't usually hide it around me.”

He notices that? Blinking up at him, she admitted, “My… my parents think I'm pregnant already. They're wrong, but having to tell them that after I…” She forced her breathing even. She still didn't want to let on how upset she was. It wouldn't help. Her chest clenched. Be normal. Be a good alpha.

“Is that why they wanted the wedding so soon?!” His eyes widened. “They thought… M-mine?” he stammered. 

“I'm sorry.” She shrank. “It was a stupid thing to tell them-”

“But why would they believe that? You were in rut!” Somewhere between a tantrum and bafflement, he rose to his feet only to cringe when he forgot to move carefully. He quickly recovered and stomped his foot. “You can't even be pregnant right now.”

“I can't?” She said it so quietly that she was surprised he heard it.

The two words are enough to stop his tantrum. He wrung his hands. “...No, you can't get pregnant when you're in rut, and you can't go into rut when you're pregnant. Did you- you didn't know?”

Mortification rushed up, filling her side by side with panic. There was no way to fix the lie she had told. She took a moment to speak so her voice would come out steady. “... I'm sorry. I didn't think about it until I met you.”

Shinjuro deflated. His offense melted away. He settled gingerly back into his seat, expression crinkled unhappily. “You had to lie to them for you to marry me?”

“I'm sorry,” she repeated. Her chest was moving, but it didn't feel like she was breathing. Please don't be mad. “They were going to make me marry Tadashi,” she rasped. “And when we were caught…”

“Tadashi.” He wrinkled his nose.

“It wasn't his fault,” the words spilled out. “You don't know how badly he was treated. He helped by running away.”

“Running away?” His eyes stretched wide.

She explained everything as he bristled across the table. If he could just understand… His expression hardened as she explained. Her tone was monotonous; she was working so hard not to shake and to keep her scent in check. I can explain it right. Just listen!

“Ruka,” he interrupted just as she was about to finish. “I'm not mad at you.”

She fell silent. That couldn't possibly be true. 

“I'm mad at your parents,” he growled. “It's not normal, what they did to you. Arranging a marriage is one thing, but making you…” He jerked his gaze away so he was glaring at the wall instead of her. After a moment of thought, he tilted his head to bare his throat to her, to show her that he meant what he said. That he wasn't a threat.

“B-but they didn't do anything to me. ” Maybe they had considered it. But they hadn't done it.

“They tried to force you to sleep with him. They all waited to make sure. That's not normal.”

“They were doing what they thought was best-”

“Would you do that?” He demanded.

“No. I'm not saying it was good, just that… that…” She wrestled with her feelings. “If I had been normal, it would have been.”

His eyes burned into her now.

“They do care, Shinjuro. They could have disowned me when I told them I was pregnant, but they didn't.”

“That's a low bar.”

“Would your parents have let you marry me if I was an omega? If I was disowned? They're still my parents.”

Again, his face creased unhappily. His scent was angry and possessive. But he couldn't answer her questions. He either didn't know, or didn't want to admit that she was right. Finally, he growled into his bowl, “I don't want them near you.”

“I know,” she murmured.  She fought the urge to rub her eyes. Tears were gathering at their edges, and she wasn't certain why. It might be the stress and fear of telling her parents the truth, but her emotions felt lighter, somehow. Why cry, then? Shinjuro would protect her, even though she knew she had to see them again. The situation was undeniably better. Telling the truth was scary. It would disappoint and anger them. But they couldn't do anything now that she was married. The kitchen around her blurred and wobbled. Her shoulders shook with a sob. I can't cry. Not after all this! But her chest spasmed, and the years spilled out, fat teardrops warming her cheeks as they fell.

“Ruka!” Shinjuro hurried around the table to wrap his arms around her. He crooned and cooed and stroked her hair, but nothing could stop the tears. After holding it together for so long, she crumbled as soon as someone else could pick up the pieces.

Shinjuro probably hadn't expected such a weepy newlywed wife. Ruka was just as surprised. She had never been one for tears or emotional displays in general. However, she just couldn't stop herself. If it were just worrying about her parents, she could handle it. But then she would see Shinjuro. Her love would well up in her chest, and then the water works started. 

Shinjuro fretted over her no matter how many times she said she was alright. Sometimes he even cried, too- in solidarity, they joked, but she could sense his sincere worry. That he cared that much about her was enough to get her sobbing again. 

Luckily, the tears tapered off before either of them could get used to it. After a week or so, she could hold her tears until they were alone together at night. Laying in his arms while he murmured comfort was more cathartic than she expected.

One night, she snuggled in with a tissue, her head against his chest. “We should have someone over.”

He gently parted and braided his hair before he asked, “...Are you ready for that?”

“Yes. I thought maybe we could invite Hata and Mae.”

After a moment of examining the braid, he undid it and started over. “If it's just friends, I think it's okay.”

He doesn't want my parents here, she guessed. She wasn't sure she could face them yet, either. “We have a lot of homework to catch up on.”

Shinjuro grimaced.

Chuckling, she dabbed at the corner of her eye. “I'm sorry. It’s my fault we're behind.”

“It's worth it.” He wrapped her up and rolled so they were side-by-side, though he pulled her close enough that she might as well have been tucked under him.

“They're not going to let us on school grounds when we're in rut again,” she reported. It was a favorable sentence, given their conduct.

“I only wanted to go when I was in rut because you were there,” he crooned.

Her face burned. We're married now! Am I always going to feel so…! She burrowed deeper into his embrace, embarrassed. Her breath shuddered as she tried not to sob.

Shinjuro tensed. “But- but I'll make sure I bring your work home for you,” he assured her. “You won't miss anything.”

She swatted his chest. “I'm happy, Shinjuro.” Before they were together, it would have upset her to stay home. Things were different now. Now home was somewhere she liked to be. She couldn't help but laugh, though it came out as a wet hiccup. “That is very sweet of you, and I like it.”

He settled with a sheepish “ Ah ,” and let his head flop back against the pillow, muscles relaxing.

She was tempted to share her affection in other ways, but her tears turned him off in that regard. She curled against him instead, purring.

“I guess I should…”

“... What?”

He was looking down at her, a slight blush in his cheeks. His fingers touched, feather-light, her bond mark. “I guess I should refresh this.”

It was still clearly visible, but he hadn't bitten her since their ceremony. She loved to trace it with her fingers, feeling the indentations where his teeth fit perfectly. As far as she was concerned, he didn't need a special occasion to bite her. She would happily bury her teeth in him every single day, but for practicality she spotted his body with hickeys instead. She tilted her head so he could see the mark better. “Go ahead.”

Resting a hand on the back of her neck, he pulled her closer. She leaned into his touch. “I, um…” his breath tickled her skin. “I think I need a better angle.”

Ruka laid back against her pillow, and he climbed over her. Still cradling her head, he brushed his lips down her jaw, and then her neck. “Do you feel alright?” His free thumb brushed her cheek, just under her eye.

Ruka’s eyes had dried, but she was getting a little misty-eyed again at his gentleness. “I feel very good.” A smile twitched at her lips. “Better when you touch me like this.”

He swallowed, and she caught a hint of tanginess in his scent. His tongue lapped gently over the bond mark, tracing the outlines of his teeth. Despite his enthusiasm, he hadn’t topped yet, so his arousal made her heartbeat quicken. If he was going to bite her, then maybe…

His teeth grazed her skin before settling into the mark. Then, with precise strength, he bit down.

Ruka gasped as she felt the skin break. The pain, and then the static. A lightness prickled through her. Humming in approval, she ran her fingers through his hair. “Beautiful… Thank you, my love.”

He shivered, released her, and licked the wound gently. His cheeks were a deep red, and his eyes shined with desire as he looked up at her face.

A light sweat had collected on her brow. She couldn't help it. Unfair, what he did to her. Hopefully she wasn't tearing up too badly. She really didn't want to dissuade him. “You can bite me again, if you'd like.”

“I might,” he rumbled. His gaze slipped down her face, lingering at her slightly parted lips. “It might be… It might be early, but bloody sheets are good luck with that sort of thing.”

Oh. He was not entirely in the present; it seemed he was skipping some steps in the conversation, his mind elsewhere. Ruka approved. Reaching up, she put a hand on his cheek and drew him in. He was getting better at kissing, at wrestling her tongue, at nipping her lips, and at sucking on her neck.

For once, he didn't stop at her neck. His kisses followed her collar bone, gently brushed the yukata off her shoulder so it hung off one side and bared one breast. His breath quickened and his touch grew clumsier, but he didn’t pull away. Fingers skimming down her side, he shakily cupped her breast. The rough calluses on his hands contrasted with the care he took to be delicate. “W-wow,” he stammered. His bulge grew against her thigh.

Her entire body felt warm. “Worth the wait?” she asked in a murmur.

He swallowed. “I’m still not sure I deserve this.”

Ruka sighed and stretched beneath him. “If you want to earn it…” She hooked her arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. “Then make love with me tonight.”

He looked up at her, face crimson and mouth open.

Smiling, she traced his lips with a single finger. “Well?”

“Y-yes!” he said, glowing with boyish eagerness. “Yes, my love.”

When their meeting with friends went alright, Ruka’s confidence grew. She had waited long enough. “Shinjuro,” she said, interlacing her fingers with his as they stopped through the courtyard together, “We need to talk with my parents.”

He frowned. Shinjuro had already talked plenty with his own parents, and they had spoken with Ruka’s; in reality they were acting as a go-between. If her parents weren’t offended already, they would be soon. That didn’t make it easier. “Are you sure?”

Ruka’s mouth felt dry, and her skin felt clammy at the thought of meeting. “No,” she said plainly. “But we have to see them eventually.”

He squeezed her hand. “Would it help to tell them that I’m uncomfortable with other alphas around? Maybe just your mother could come over at first.”

“You would take the blame?” 

“They already don’t like me,” he noted. His bottom lip protruded ever so slightly- a pout.

She offered him a small, apologetic smile. The expression fell from her face as she looked away. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll take care of it.”

Her mother arrived several nights later. Ruka greeted her and invited her inside. She did her best to make her comfortable, to show her around and show how satisfied and prideful she was, how much she loved Shinjuro, and how happy living here made her. While she wanted Shinjuro there, she had decided to do this alone; she told him to visit his own parents, so she could get a feel for things. Knowing what he thought of them… She didn't want to risk conflict.

Her mother's face remained crinkled in apprehension. As they settled for tea, she cleared her throat and opened her mouth: “Does it always smell like this?”

Ruka blinked in surprise. A pit formed in her stomach. She drew in her scent and adjusted her posture. “It's traditional. To scent your territory like this, here.”

“Oh. I see…” Hesitation and disappointment colored her tone. “Anyway. You said you had something you needed to tell me. Is everything alright?” Her gaze flickered to Ruka's fresh bond mark, and her voice lowered. “He isn't…hurting you, is he?”

Ruka flushed with anger, but she easily swallowed the emotion. She looked pointedly at her mother's mark. “Is father hurting you?”

Her mother didn't hide her anger so easily. “No! Ruka, don't speak like that. You know why I have to ask. Our relationship is natural. I don't know what to expect for you.”

Taking a slow, deep breath, Ruka explained, “Shinjuro is very gentle. He treats me better than I expected anyone ever would, and I've never been happier than I am now.” 

She stared for a moment. “Well. Good. And the… the baby?”

Ruka frowned. Only years of keeping her emotions in check allowed her to stay calm with dread clawing at her from the inside out. “There… is no baby.”

Emotions flashed behind her mother's eyes. Grief, anger, hurt? Ruka couldn't be sure. Not surprise, which was what Ruka had expected first. “Is that right?” She asked, voice wavering.

“Yes, but,” she plowed forward, “Shinjuro and I plan on having children as soon as we can.”

“What happened?” Her mother wouldn't let the topic change so easily. “Did you lie to us or…”

A cold lump formed in her throat. Before it could get too big to talk around, she rasped, “I was… I was angry. I'm sorry.”

Her mother's face flushed. Her scent, small and fearful until now, sharpened with anger. Opening and closing her mouth, she floundered over scalding words. Finally, tears swelling in her eyes, she rose and stormed out.

Ruka hurried after her. “Mama, I'm sorry!” She called. “When I do have pups, I want you in our lives.”

But her mother left without another word.

She burrowed her face in Shinjuro's chest, breathing in his protective musk. He held her tight. Angry. Frustrated. Pungent.

“She doesn't deserve to be in your life. Neither of them do.”

“That's not true,” Ruka mumbled, her voice tight and wet from the tears running down her throat. “She'll realize she's wrong when we have pups. She will.”

Shinjuro grumbled and stroked her hair. He didn't mention her father, who would hold this against Ruka twice as much for hurting her mother and breaking their family. He didn't berate her for holding onto her family ties. He just held her and promised, promised, promised he would protect her like they never had.