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To put it as bluntly as possible; he knew he did not have long left.

It had been a growing thought now in his mind for a year. Perhaps more. Since he had arrived in this universe, since the events of Nero and the other Romulans, since Khan… Spock had come to realize that in this universe, though Vulcans lived to a good age, he would succumb to his body not acclimatizing. In retrospect, it was illogical to assume that his own atoms would themselves align with the genetic makeup of this universe. However similar they may be, this did not make a difference.

He had speculated for a while now that there had been an issue with him being in this universe, the least of all being his impact on another version of Mr Spock and Captain Kirk.

Still, he had hoped that he would have a few years left. If anything, he might be able to ascertain a way home.

Spock stood still, trying to steady himself as the familiar aches and pains of age battled fiercely with the nature of his body simply not adhering to this universe’s laws of physics. An inhale. Then an exhale. Eyes closed as he mediated on what to do next. The distance was small, his plan had been in his mind for a few days now as he realized the gravity of his circumstances. But with the weariness that had taken over him, he was inclined to rest upon his bed.

A glance through the huge open glass window. Yorktown was surely a feat for the Federation. Beyond anything he could ever really comprehend. Part of him wondered if his own Federation built something similar in the time that he had left. Towering structures, a medley of species that co-habited, a surge of technology so advanced that it was to be marvelled at – and at the end of the day, this floating city was exactly what the Federation encompassed.

Another inhale as he let his dark eyes focus on the building that stood not far from this one. A point of reference. Letting his gaze relax, Spock slowly found his balance once again, and moved patiently over towards the desk.

Settling down, he adjusted his si-pelal, making sure it was over his knees and reached forward to the small box he had been preparing. There was not much to his name, not here at least. But there were a few trinkets that he had preserved. Things that had been left on his ship. Things he had taken everywhere with him for several decades prior to –

His lips thinned as tired, aged hands gently moved over the tokens. He could hear his fathers’ words in his ears – tokens of sentimentality, of emotion, unsuited in the pursuit of true logic. And yet, the Ambassador could not part with them. Lifting the first out, and clipping it open, showing the digital image of he and his crew and … And Jim. Spock searched their faces as if they would and could reach out and speak to him. They would not. They could not.

The next; his Starfleet badge. Long since worn, now just a vestigial token of his time on board the Enterprise. He had never been able to part with it. No matter how hard he had tried.

The last. A gift from Jim. A holo-emitter. Turning it over in his hand, it contained a small birthday message from his Captain. An assurance that everything was going to be okay. And a final goodbye.

His worldly possessions. His entire life, and all that he had strived now contained to one single box.

A glance up. How did he become so old? This was not a face he recognized. Vanity struck him momentarily, realizing that before he knew it, even his long life had flashed unceremoniously by. Without even having a chance to grasp at it, to appreciate it.

He felt his jaw tense just slightly. Before then giving a low sigh. He closed the box but left the holo-emitter out, settled on the desk in front of him. He lifted his head up and with a tired clearing of his throat, he began his task for the day. The last task he will ever do.

“Computer; record audio and visual.”

“Recording audio and visual.”

He sat for a moment in silence before then lifting his head. “This is the last record I shall ever make.” He said. “The last record I shall ever give. The Stardate is 2262.364.  It is 11.41 A.M.” A pause followed. “After this recording, I am to board one of the latest starships – and return to New Vulcan. As it has always been my wish to pass on my own soil, our new home world is the closest thing I can find. I never knew Earth as a home, though my mother hailed from it.”

Spock reclined back for a second. “I am sending this message through subspace, with the hopes that Lieutenant Uhura picks it up. Though perhaps this is a folly. It may take several weeks to reach the Enterprise and I do not believe I have that much time left.”

His jaw tightened. Fear of death was illogical. And yet, he was afraid.

“My hope is, that the message is received by Captain Kirk and Commander Spock in quick succession. An invite of sorts to spend some time with me before I pass.” He tilted head downwards for a second. “I have not played a good game of chess in many years, and I do believe this time I will be given a challenge.”

Turning his head back outwards to the building, watching a transporter ship go by, the Ambassador took a deep breath. “I am aware though that this message may not reach them in time. And for that matter, what I say next is greatly important. And one that needs to be respected above all else.”

The Ambassador cleared his throat. “Over the last several years I have been collecting and curating my memories and history. Sealed in records that must remain untouched until Stardate 3000.06. This is in hopes that my histories will not interfere with Commander Spock’s personal timeline. This date has been chosen by the most likely and logical solution. That by this date, my history will have no affect on him or Captain Kirk as they too will no longer be alive.”

“I have spoken already to Ambassador Sarek and he is aware that I have no desire for my Katra to be preserved through Vulcan tradition, I have been resurrected one too many times for my liking. And for that reason, these recordings are a last will and testament, if you will.”

He reflected on this for a small moment. “I believe, Doctor McCoy would call this grim. But I believe it to be practical. There will be no calls into question of my sanity. I am not, as they say, out of my Vulcan mind.”

He reached over and picked up the holo-emitter. Turning it over in his hands. The memories of his days on board the Enterprise flooding his mind. It took him several minutes to come back to the present and focus on the task ahead. Placing it down, he lifted his gaze up again. “I instead leave these messages for them both in case I do not see them again, a likelihood but one I am not willing to admit.”.  He shifted again, now unsure for a moment what exactly he was going to say.  “Firstly, to the captain. Jim. My friend.”

“It has been a great privilege to see how far you have come in so little time. Upon meeting you in that cave many years ago, I was deeply concerned that you and Mr Spock had not been acquainted or had understood how connected the both of you were. I indulged in a mind-meld, though it is not preferred, to offer an understanding of what lay ahead of you. My own memories of adventures and travels with my own Jim Kirk. I knew this was a risk, one that I had been willing to take for the good of the universe given Nero’s unrelenting mission to destroy it. I apologized then for the transference of emotion that could come with it. But it seems that during the mind-meld, I had not realized that you would use those memories as your frame of reference when it came to your relationship with Mr Spock.”

“I had hoped to avoid it, but I became suspicious that you remembered the mind-meld and the memories it contained when you, not Mr Spock, sacrificed yourself for the crew. A detail I had not shared with the Commander and one he pointed out to me that you had mentioned why you could not let him die.”

His eyes saddened. “I hoped, in arrogance, that it would be the only thing that you recalled from that mind-meld. But during our conversations together, I became more aware that perhaps I had imparted a grave error. And had ultimately impacted this universe and the fates of its people more than I had anticipated.”

He thought about David. About Saavik and the life that they could have had together. He thought quietly about how it had taken Leonard returning to Vulcan with Spock’s Katra imbedded inside of him to bring about Spock’s resurrection. How the crew had sacrificed so much and committed treason and multiple violations of Starfleet laws to bring him back. The Ambassadors eyes circled back to the holo-emitter.

“However, not only have you proven time and time again that you are your own man, but also that your love and admiration for Commander Spock is based on your own experiences with him. You have carved out a destiny and legacy that will be remembered resoundingly throughout the universe. For many generations to come. You have already inspired several new Captains, some barely able to spell their own names. To be brave, to be resounding. To be kind.”

“Above all, I can think of no higher honor, to be your friend. In this universe. In every universe.”

Ambassador Spock let his lips purse, pulling the holo-emitter close to him. His expression remained as stoic as ever, though the sadness that remained in his eyes only deepened. Hand closing around the holo-emitter, he then lifted his head again.

“I have been, and always shall be your friend, Jim Kirk.”

“Computer, pause recording.”

“Recording paused.”

Ambassador Spock hesitated for a moment before then standing up. Hands now behind his back as he moved. He went to stand by the window, staring out at the bright city. He wondered what they were doing right now. Perhaps fighting with the Gorn, conversations with Harry Mudd perhaps? Maybe Lieutenant Uhura had taken some tribbles on board. Perhaps it was none of those things, and instead they were sitting down to play a game of chess or discuss relations with a local federation planet.

His memories were playing in his mind from his fondest days. Though, it would be remiss if he concluded with only those memories. He thought about his early days of Starfleet; meeting Commander Chin-Riley and being accosted slightly with Gilbert and Sullivan musicals. He thought of Nurse Chapel. Of T’Pring of course. His mother and father. Sybok. Then eventually, his mind had come to rest on his sister. Michael. He had not thought of her in many, many years now. Now unable to find her signal. Unable to see her. He hoped, that wherever she and the Discovery ended up, she had a good life.

All of this he wondered, and his mind queried if Commander Spock too had these experiences.

Their universes were so close, the only real divergences were due to Nero appearing and destroying the U.S.S Kelvin. Everything else had ricocheted from there. It would be illogical to assume that Ambassador Sarek and Amanda Grayson did not bring in a young, orphaned girl called Michael Burnham. And yet, Spock had not broached the subject with Ambassador Sarek.

His life and Commander Spock’s life were linked. In every sense, they were the same person. But at the same time, he could not help but see the younger Vulcan as some sort of blood relative. A son even.

He wanted nothing more than to offer guidance. To reassure the other. To make sure he was aware that he was free always to forge his own path. And above all, that he was proud and honored to have met and known him. Even for a short period of time.

Quietly, the Ambassador sat back down. Placing the holo-emitter down, he lifted his head again.

“Computer, resume recording.”

“Recording resumed.”

“Jim, when Commander Spock receives this news of my passing, he will be very scared, he will begin to doubt his place within Starfleet, he will wonder if it is best to follow in my footsteps. I want a solemn promise that you will not let him. He is his own person, and he belongs at your side. His duties are not to New Vulcan, that will come later. Right now, his duties are to his own heart. And though his mind will fight with him, to return to New Vulcan, to seek out a Vulcan mate, his heart will be torn at the mere thought of abandoning the enterprise. I need you to see this, and I need you to look out for him.”

A pause. “You do not realize it Jim, but Commander Spock trusts you more than he trusts himself at times. Be there for him. Guide him. Comfort him. I have no doubt you will need each other more than ever before.”

The Ambassador let his lips purse. “I regret that I did not get the chance to know Lieutenant Uhura, Doctor McCoy, Mr Scott, Mr Chekov, and Mr Sulu during my time here. It has been the one thing I wished I could proceed with, but due to my fear of influencing this timeline, I have kept my distance as best I can. Though perhaps once or twice it may not have worked.” On his lips lingered a small smile.

“Mister Spock.” He said finally. “You have no doubt faced trials amongst your time at Starfleet and no doubt trials outside it too. It has never been easy to be the child of two worlds, and I speak from personal experience that walking a fine line between them and finding balance is easier said than done. I will not speak for your experiences or your world view, that would be illogical of me, but I want to assure you that you have found your place. I think you know it too. I think you know that you never want to leave Starfleet. Though your role in the Federation might change over time.”

He tilted his expression upwards, thinking of his own experiences and how he would have thought getting this message at such a formative young age. How knowing that his choices were sound. That they ended up forming friendships and connections that would last a lifetime.

“You know more than you think you do, even now, you have already been through so much, and yet, comparatively so little. With so much more to go.”

“Trust your heart. Trust your friends. Mister Spock, I have faith that you’ll be just fine.”

James Kirk was practically skipping as they moved through the corridors. Giddy with excitement to get back amongst the stars, beside him walked the dark-haired Vulcan, contrasted in their uniforms. It was hard to keep Kirk from leaping around, though Spock wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to do that. Watching his friend exhibit the full human emotion of joy and excitement as he moved towards the turbo-lift.

“It took long enough right?” Jim was saying. “I thought we’d never get back on,”

“You are implying that safety checks and such took too long?” Spock queried.

“Well, yeah, but don’t get it twisted – those things are needed.” Jim reached over and playfully tapped Spock against the chest a few times. “C’mon, you can’t tell me that you haven’t missed this!”

“Of course I have,”

They reached the turbo-lift and stepped inside. “And to think you were going to leave to go back to Vulcan.”

“And to think you were going to take the vice admirals position,” Spock responded with a quirk of his brow.

“Yeah alright, touché,”

Doors slid open with a satisfying swoosh and Jim stepped on board the new bridge for the first time. Taking a deep inhale, he then let a grin stretch from ear to ear. Reaching over and grasping his friends’ shoulder, he gestured slightly. “I don’t think I will never give this up,”

“Captain on the bridge!” Came Chekov’s sounding, turning to look over at Jim and the Commander.

“How are things looking Sulu?” Jim asked, jumping down to reach the helmsman.

“We are ready to launch sir,” Sulu gave a nod.

“Didn’t try out for the Captaincy position?” Jim raised a brow.

“Maybe in a few years, sir.”

Jim smiled and clapped the other man’s shoulder before turning. “Mr Spock?”

“All diagnostic checks are ready sir,”

“Fantastic! Mr Scott, how’s my ship?”

Over the comms, the thick brogue of Montgomery Scott sounded. “Ach sir, she’s a beaut. Ready and raring to go I think. Get doon from there!”

Jim smiled, turning on his heel, a shot of ecstasy coursing through his veins. A desperate need to get going, never sitting still, never waiting. Ready for the next adventure. He turned, ready to give the order to Sulu to take them out. Heading towards the nebula. To see what else was out there.

“Sir?”

Jim turned glancing over at Uhura, who had been standing waiting ready. “Yes Lieutenant?” He asked.

Uhura gestured towards her station. “Sir, before we went to Altamid, I had received an encrypted transmission from New Vulcan, I was in the process of decrypting it when we crashed.”

The Captain raised a brow, followed by a quizzical look from Spock.

“It was marked non-emergency and for the eyes of the Bridge Crew only,” She added hastily. “I assumed it was a message from Ambassador Sarek regarding Commander Spock, but I don’t think that’s the case. I asked for my station files to be restored and the message has just finished decryption.” The entire bridge crew was silent, waiting patiently for more, an unexpected halt to the pomp and circumstance that would

Jim shared a glance with Spock. “Mr Sulu, belay taking us out of Yorktown until the message has played. On screen, Miss Uhura.”

“Aye Captain,”

Turning to her station, Uhura quickly patched through the message and the image of Ambassador Spock appeared on the view window. The communications officer let out a small gasp, her hand covering her mouth. Jim turned to glance over at Spock then the image of the Ambassador. Spock remained frozen in his seat, as if he had seen a ghost. His entire jaw twitched slightly but the half-Vulcan said nothing.

The Ambassador looked older than ever, and visibly very sick and tired. In that moment, a lot of the crew realized that this would be the first and only time they would ever see a version of Spock aged. For the Commander they knew would watch them age and pass over long before him. A vision of Commander Spock’s future

Uhura’s eyes were notably glassy as she allowed the message to be played.

The entire crew sat in silence, listening to the older Vulcans words with marked respect. Jim hesitated to take a seat as he learned that the older Vulcan had sent for them, to see them one last time and they had not been able to respond in a timely manner. His friend had never disclosed who was around the Ambassador at the time of his passing. For traditions sake, Jim had supposed. But the captain was not above feeling the emotion hit him like a freight car. Across the chest and reeling from the pain of knowing that he could have been there in Ambassador Spock’s final moments.

Then he lifted azure eyes to find Spock, who was silent, his entire expression unreadable and muted, but Jim knew his friend perhaps more now than ever before. He knew that there were things going on inside Spock’s head that he would only ever share in the company of Jim or Uhura.

Jim stood, approaching the half-Vulcan where the other sat, silent for a long moment as Ambassador Spock gave his final last words.

“My friends. These last few years have been difficult. Being separated from my home, has been difficult. Watching Vulcan, even if it was not my Vulcan, being destroyed, was… Difficult. Being unable to go home was…” His voice trailed off. “But one thing that gave me comfort, that gave me a sense of purpose, was knowing that out there, there was a James Kirk and Spock out there searching the stars.”

Jim placed a hand on Spock’s shoulder.

“Good luck, my friends. Live Long and Prosper.”

The transmission ended with a wave of silence that swept through the bridge. Even Dr. McCoy who had arrived to see the ship leave Yorktown was oddly remiss of his distinct sarcastic chatter. All eyes remained fixed on the screen, waiting for a moment to breathe, and instruction on what to do next.

Spock lifted his head to observe Jim.

“I suggest we do as he advises.” The Commander said, breaking the quiet. All eyes swivelled to look at the half-Vulcan.

“Yeah?” Jim asked.

“We search the stars,” Spock concluded. “And we prosper.”

Jim smiled slightly, tapping the shoulder of his friend and second in command before moving towards the chair. “Mr Sulu?”

“Aye captain?”

“Hit it.”