Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rui had always considered life a story of its own.

And in that story he was just a useless side character.

Oh, how Rui wished he could be the main character in life. People would actually like him for who he was! Ah… that would be wonderful. The main character isn’t hated by the fandom, maybe some of the characters, but hey! That’s just… life, I guess? Oh, if he was the main character… he would be the first person brought into a conversation. In all of the books. Wow, that would be wonderful.

As of now, Rui had considered Tsukasa to be the main character. Although he sometimes gets in trouble for pulling stunts with Rui, he’s still perfect and pretty likable nonetheless. Rui would die to be like him, all perfect and just… him. Yeah… that’s about it. 

If he was the main character, people would have to like him!... right? No, there’s no doubt there, people would like him. That’s how being a protagonist works. Plus! If he was the main character, his middle school life would be totally different! He wouldn’t have been bullied… and even if he was, it would add up to his plot armor! 

The story would be all about him. All about him. The more he thought about that one detail though, he got a little anxious. But, it didn’t bother him that much. He probably would’ve ended up so different if people liked him, but that would be a good thing, right? Or maybe not. He wouldn’t have met Tsukasa. He admired Tsukasa a lot. He also wouldn’t have met Emu. Emu was in all honesty a great person to be around, but more importantly, Tsukasa. If Rui hadn't met Tsukasa… would he be in love with someone else?

Oh.

Right.

He was supposed to be in love with someone else.

He was dating Mizuki. 

He sighed, setting his head down on the desk, not caring to listen to what the teacher was saying. Psshh… if he were the main character, it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t pay attention!

…

Not that it mattered right now, but, still.  

Maybe Rui could start thinking of himself as the main character. Yeah… that would make sense. Sure… maybe he is just an average human being, but it’d be easy to at least think of himself that way, yes? 

…ah, it probably wouldn’t. Not when the brightest star was almost always by his side. That star was also the person who he considered the main character in life. It would be so hard to think of himself as the main character… ah, but he’d pull it off! For sure! 

For now, he’d just have to focus on class. Ah, but of course, Rui never did that. His mind drifted back to what he had been thinking about previously;

How different would his life be if he was the main character?

Well, for one, he wouldn’t have been a failure. And he probably wouldn’t have been bullied. That means, he would’ve never met Mizuki, or Tsukasa, or Emu. He would still know Nene, though. Hell, he would probably be teased by an antagonist. But, again, he would’ve outsmarted them, as all protagonists do. 

His train of thought was interrupted by the bell, and he sighed as the sounds of chatter and chairs scraping against the floor flooded the room. He stood up and headed to the rooftop, prepared to beg Tsukasa for lunch again.

_______________

Rui sat on the rooftop, staring up at the sky as he waited for Tsukasa.

“Rui! Jeez, you looked so unfocused in class today, it annoyed me!” 

Rui chuckled softly at the ‘rude’ comments. Tsukasa’s ‘rude’ comments.

“Fufu, Tsukasa-kun, there’s no need to be mean to me!” He pouted, furrowing his brow in the most unrealistic way possible. “When have I ever seemed focused in class, hmm?” He teased, poking Tsukasa’s side gently. Tsukasa had simply just scoffed and opened his lunchbox.

“I mean, I guess that is quite a rare sighting… but, still! The lesson today was rather important! Gosh… I cannot understand how you aren’t failing school yet.” Tsukasa whined. Rui chuckled again. 

Is this how interactions between the main character and a stupid, useless side character were supposed to be? Rui didn’t know. 

“Tsukasa-kun, if you were the main character in a story, what would I be?” Rui had blurted out, curious. 

Tsukasa raised an eyebrow.

“Uhm… that’s an odd question to say the least, Rui… but, I guess you would be the side Protagonist! Yeah, I think having you by my side would be nice.” He said, beginning to eat his lunch.

Rui smiled sweetly, trying to distract Tsukasa as he shoved his own vegetables into Tsukasa’s bento. “Really? I would think of myself as an irrelevant side character. Hm.. I like your answer, though.” He said, staring down at his lunchbox. Tsukasa smiled, eating more of his lunch so Rui couldn’t inhale most of it. 

It was now the end of the school day, and Rui was headed home, texting Mizuki on his way back. Their conversation somehow morphed into one about how weird cheese was. Seriously… how does that even happen?... Anywho, he shut off his phone when he arrived home and flopped down onto his (uncomfortable) couch, his mind drifting to his conversation with Tsukasa earlier.

“Uhm… that’s an odd question to say the least, Rui… but, I guess you would be the side Protagonist! Yeah, I think having you by my side would be nice.”

Rui smiled as he recalled that… but was he really good enough to be a side-protagonist? Surely he wouldn’t have been that important if his dearest Tsukasa was the main character. He sighed, flopping down onto his stomach, burying his face in the armrest of the couch. Maybe Tsukasa knew he wouldn’t be relevant and just wanted to make him feel better. Maybe that was the case. 

…it was probably the case. Rui knew that he wasn’t that important. He sighed, eventually drifting off to sleep with the thoughts of self hatred stuck in his head.

_________________________

Rui woke up with a pounding headache. He groaned, laying back down. Okay, he was just going to skip school. In his sense, there was nothing wrong with doing so. I mean, he didn’t necessarily like going to school. The only thing he had really liked about it was seeing Tsukasa, but that was about it. 

…Rui had realized he liked Tsukasa. He knew.

But he only called himself ‘A little crazy’ for him.

He was probably going insane about him. No, not probably. He was going insane over Tsukasa. As he lay on his couch, staring at the ceiling, he began to realize how much he wanted to be with Tsukasa.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Rui loved Mizuki… just, not in a romantic sense. But that day on the rooftop when Mizuki confessed to him… he hadn't wanted to turn her down. Afterall, she and Rui had gone through the hectic days of middle school together. He had understood where her love for him came from, he just hadn’t felt the same way. 

But he couldn’t tell her that. It would absolutely break her heart. He feared that if he left her, her mental health would be just as bad as his. Rui could tell Mizuki cared for him dearly… so he just couldn’t ruin that for her. She was so happy. Rui acted happy too.

Back to Tsukasa, Rui had wanted Tsukasa to be his, even if he was just a little bit his. 

Well, okay, he already was a bit his. He was his star!

..along with Nene’s and Emu’s, but he tried not to think about that as much. Honestly, he probably would’ve gone insane by now if Tsukasa wasn’t his friend.  

He felt so bad admitting this to himself whilst being in a relationship with Mizuki, but he couldn’t help it. He knew he was crazy about Tsukasa, he knew he was out of his mind. Even if Tsukasa didn’t love him completely, he still wished to be in a relationship with him. Oh… how truly wonderful that would be. The more he thought about Tsukasa, the more he thought about himself.

Whenever Tsukasa would suggest a play where Nene or Emu would be his romantic interest, Rui’s smile would always falter, but Tsukasa had never seemed to notice it. If Rui got upset over the smallest things, he wouldn’t even be worth Tsukasa’s love, hmm? 

God, he was hopeless. But I guess that was what made him special. He was overly obsessed with Tsukasa, probably even unhealthily obsessed with him, and he thought he didn’t have a chance to be with him. In my sense, it’s quite funny. A little hilarious even.

Rui was hopeless, he would probably never have a chance with Tsukasa.

And yet, he only wanted him just a little bit.

Yet, everything little is always a lot… yes?

Chapter Text

Rui was afraid of a lot of things.

He was afraid of vegetables,

Death,

Losing his mind,

And his future.

But mostly, he was scared of losing Tsukasa. Rui had basically devoted his life to his friends at this point. And Tsukasa was one of his friends. 

Hell, he loved Tsukasa so much it scared himself half to death.

Okay, let’s face it. We can just say that Rui was scared of almost everything. Sure, maybe he wasn’t scared of almost everything, but it sure as hell seemed like it. Dragging his min away from his fears, he lazily got out of bed. He had practice today. Which meant he got to see his friends. Those friends that he truly loved so much.

______________

Rui stretched as he walked over to the WonderStage, being greeted by an overly excited Emu.

“Hi, Rui!! Hi!!” Emu cheerfully chirped as he launched herself at Rui, hugging him. 

“Hello, Emu-kun!” Rui said, chuckling as he gently pushed Emu off of him.

“Hi, Rui.” Nene glared at Rui, a frown plastered on her face. She had known him since they were kids, Nene could tell something was up. Rui simply gave her his usual cat-like smile. She sighed and went back to making NeneRobo do stupid shit. Rui simply chuckled softly, turning to the apple… or star, of his eyes. Tsukasa, of course. 

“Hello, Tsukasa-kun!~” Rui smiled, his heart practically pounding out of his chest when Tsukasa ran over to him and clasped his hands in his own. 

“Rui! Oh my gosh!” Tsukasa removed his hands, moving to frown. “Why weren’t you at school today but you’re at practice?! Hmmm?!”

Rui could barely make out the worlds his dearest star was saying, simply being scolded by Tsukasa was enough to make Rui even more head over heels than he already was. However, he quickly snapped out of his daze when Tsukasa moved closer to him.

“Hey… Rui, are you doing alright?” His smile twisted into a concerned frown. Rui felt horrible for making his dearest star worry. 

“Ah, yes, I'm doing perfectly fine, Tsukasa-kun. I apologize for worrying you.” He gave Tsukasa his usual cat-like smile, to which Tsukasa hesitantly believed him. Emu bounced over to the two, interrupting Rui’s excuse to admire Tsukasa. 

“Tsukasa-kun! Rui-kun! Are you ready to start practicing?! Come on, come on!” She smiled, grabbing one of each boy's hands and dragging them over to Nene. 

_______________

After practice was over, Rui changed into his day clothes and turned to Tsukasa, opening his mouth to say something.

Anything but I’m in love with you.

Anything but I love you. 

Anything but those three wretched words I fear.

Anything but that.

“Tsukasa-kun, you did great today. I’d just try to work on your pronunciation for some of the words in your third line of dialogue, alright?”

Phew.

Tsukasa blinked, then nodded, smiling. 

“Well, of course! A star must always be great at pronunciation!” He placed his hands on his hips before announcing his leave. Rui smiled in response, waving him off.

__

When Rui arrived home, he got to work on some of the robots Emu had asked him to build for their show. A confetti cannon (Expected of Emu), a dog (For Emu’s role) and a couple of flowers that could… erm, also release confetti. As Rui sketched out the blue prints, his mind eventually drifted back to that star who he loved oh so much that it scared him half to death. He drew a small little doodle of that star in the corner of his blueprint and went back to designing Emu’s little robot dog. What Emu basically wanted was a happy little dog that was programmed to follow her around as she walked. When Rui wasn't on stage, he could control it with a device similar to RoboNene’s control pad. When he was on stage, he could program it to follow Emu around with motion sensors and a camera. He decided that the dog would be the most fun to work on, so getting to work was what he did. 

Rui stayed up for 5 hours, not bad! 

…but that was only doing the dog.

Oh well, he supposed he really didn’t need his sleep. He started to work on a new confetti cannon, then moved on to the confetti flowers. Working for Rui usually wasn’t boring, but it surely wasn’t exciting either. 

He sighed and pushed his chair back, standing up to get a glass of water. He was surprised to see when he came back that he had a Nightcord notification. He barely used Nightcord, he had only gotten it because Mizuki practically begged him to. And, of course, Mizuki was the one who had messaged him.

Amia (25:04 AM)

Heyyy ruiiiii

R u up??

Read

Alchemist (25:07 AM)

yeah

i mean should you rlly be asking tho

when have i ever slept

Read 

Amia (25:07 AM)

LOLLLSS

okok but 

do u wanna go on a date tmrw?

like to the mall or smt

:3

Read

Rui sighed. God, he loved her, but… going on a date with a woman made his stomach turn. He loved Mizuki… but he couldn’t admit to her that his feelings were platonic.

Alchemist (25:08 AM)

sureee

wait tmrw??

Read

Amia (25:08 AM)

LMAO STOPPP

yk wgat i meant

Read

Alchemist (25:09 AM)

lol

but sure im free today

Read 

Amia (25:09 AM)

yayayayayayay

i shall drop by my loves house at 1 

K?

Read

Alchemist (25:09 AM)

Alr

Read

Amia (25:09 AM)

ly kittennn

Read

Rui cringed at the name Mizuki had used. Sure, he knew she only used it to be funny, but seriously? Kitten?

Amia (25:10 AM)

Can u try and sleep for meeee

Read

Alchemist (25:11 AM)

thatll be impossible mizuki

Read

Amia (25:11 AM)

just tryyyyy

pleeease??

Read

Alchemist (25:11 AM)

Alright

I guess

Read

Rui set his phone down. He looked back to the unfinished confetti flowers, sighing. He could always finish them tomorrow…

_____________

As Mizuki arrived at Rui’s door, as she happily rambled on about her group's latest songs, as she squeezed his hand, he couldn’t help but feel bad. He felt horrible. He wished he wasn’t faking how he felt, he wished he could truly make Mizuki happy. She always seemed so happy when they were together. Her smile would’ve made Rui’s heart melt. But it didn’t. Rui was in love with a star, and Mizuki wasn’t a star. No, I’m not saying she doesn’t have any talent, but I’m saying she isn’t Tsukasa Tenma. 

Maybe if Rui was selfish he would’ve told Mizuki he didn’t love her. But, no, ah, he was selfish. Rui just… didn’t want to see his best friend of so long… well, hurt, so he accepted. He swore he was trying to make Mizuki happy, he swore on everything. And it seemed it was working, so why should he stop now? Rui has gone through it before. If he broke up with Mizuki, she would surely spiral into depression. Rui didn’t want to see that happen to her. He was pulled out of his thoughts as Mizuki happily chirped to him that they were here. She dragged him out of the Uber and smiled up at him, walking towards the entrance of the mall. 

Okay, he would try and keep this up for a little longer. 

Mizuki dragged Rui to various shops, occasionally showing him things she found cute or things that reminded her of him. However, Mizuki was very excited when they reached the store ‘Hot Topic’. Rui was immediately dragged to the pin section, where Mizuki was running her fingers through the pins, trying to find the most perfect one. Rui’s gaze drifted around the store, taking it all in. He stopped at the sock section. 

Why would a store like this have a sock section…?

But Rui quickly waved that thought away as he saw platypus socks.

PLATYPUS SOCKS.

“Mizuki– look, they have platypus socks!” He tapped Mizuki’s shoulder, pointing in the direction of the socks. And, no, they were not Perry The Platypus socks. They were purple socks with a cute platypus print on them. Mizuki giggled. 

“You should buy them, Rui! Oooh, maybe I should get them too, and then we could match!” Mizuki giggled again, trotting over to the sock section, leaving the pins forgotten. 

_________

After what felt like forever, Rui and Mizuki’s date was brought to an end. Mizuki had poured her entire heart into making Rui happy today, and yes, he was happy, but he wasn’t happy in the way Mizuki wanted.

Mizuki wanted to make Rui’s heart flutter, but Rui only felt as if he was going on an outing with a close friend. Mizuki had given Rui her heart, whilst Rui had only given her his body. God, Rui felt horrible, but he couldn’t force himself to love someone if he knew he was in love with someone else. 

When he got home, he practically collapsed against the floor of his kitchen, sighing. 

He was tired.

He had been dragged around by his girlfriend for three hours straight. But he was happy that he could make Mizuki happy!... 

…he had just wished he could give her more. Rui wished he could be the perfect boyfriend to Mizuki, he wished he could hold her when she needed it and pepper her with kisses, but he couldn’t do that. He knew he couldn’t. Even if he did, it would all be fake. He truly wished he could give Mizuki his heart, not just his body. 

In fact, Rui was trying. He was trying to fall in love with Mizuki, the same way he had fallen in love with Tsukasa, but it wasn’t possible. Rui just couldn’t see her as anything else but a friend. 

But again, here he was, existing as Mizuki’s dearest boyfriend. He let his eyelids fall closed, pressing his forehead against the cool tile of the kitchen floor, letting out a sigh. He felt horrible. 

He knew he wasn’t a good person for this, he knew he would never be a good person. But god, he wanted to make Mizuki happy. He was doing his best, but he knew it would never be enough. Sure, Mizuki seemed completely contempt and happy, but Rui wished he could give her the love she deserved. He owed Mizuki so much; she was always so sweet to him. 

Maybe he didn’t owe her his heart.

Or maybe he did?

Rui didn’t know how to control his own feelings, he didn’t know if he owed Mizuki his heart.

But as of now, Mizuki only had his body. Not his heart, not his love. His heart… his love, that belonged to Tsukasa. Only, Tsukasa didn’t know this. Rui groaned, spiraling deeper into his w hat ifs .

How would Tsukasa react if Rui said he loved him? Would he be disgusted? He knew Rui was dating Mizuki afterall, it would be a logical reaction.

Or would he wrap his arms around Rui, tell him he loved him too?

Fuck, Rui was a mess. Making up situations about him and his best friend he was sure would never happen because Rui was an idiot. A total fucking idiot. A coward even. 

Yeah, Rui was a coward. That’s all he was. He probably wasn’t even trying. He wasn’t doing anything to make Mizuki happy. He was just a fucking coward. 

A coward and a loser, he was a loser that he couldn’t even love the one person who loved him, and he was a coward knowing he could never tell Tsukasa his feelings. 

Well, he was still in the process of trying to figure out his own feelings. He was making progress, but it was barely any progress at all. 

Maybe one day…

Maybe one day Rui would truly love Mizuki and he could forget all about his stupid obsession with Tsukasa.

Chapter Text

hai
fic isn't cancelled but wont be worked on for a long time
uhmhm gonna post a new fic soon read it when its done guys