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Edward Teach is capable of handling a lot of things. Not that it’s a competition, but it’s safe to say he’s been dealt a pretty shitty hand in life more than a few times. Still, he’s always managed to overcome it all with his tact and resilience. Finding the love of his life didn’t hurt, either.
But the one thing he cannot fucking cope with is boredom.
True, no one really likes being bored. But if he goes too long without something to focus his attention on, Ed is pretty sure he could literally keel over from the lack of stimulation. His brain craves constant engagement. A challenge. A task. It’s part of why captaining always appealed to him. At the height of his career, there was never a dull moment. He always had something to do.
He really is happy that things have finally slowed down a bit and he can just enjoy life without having to worry about being murdered every waking moment. But he would be lying if he said he didn’t miss the thrill of it all. And for the past three days, they’ve been sailing through open water on a course to the nearest trading port, with no vessels in their path to raid, no vengeful enemies to fend off, no nagging petty disputes to settle between the crew. Hell, even the weather has been perfectly fucking average.
After seeing how much the past few uneventful days had been getting to him and taking pity, Stede’s advice — which would come back to bite him in the ass — to his struggling co-captain as they began getting ready for the day was for Ed to try to find something to occupy his mind to help pass the time, insisting that “there must be some way you can entertain yourself, darling.”
As soon as the words left Stede’s mouth, Ed could practically feel the cogs start turning in his brain, and he started setting all of the pieces of his beautifully devious plan into action.
Ed spent the entire day parading around the ship in his tightest pants — somehow even tighter than the ones he struts around in on a regular basis — and his favourite cropped purple shirt, revealing just enough skin to catch Stede’s eye when he stretched or bent over but not enough to scandalize their poor crew. He’d pulled his hair up into a ponytail, drawing attention to the black cravat pulled tight around his neck like a collar.
So after shooting Stede his best fuck-me eyes across the deck and letting his touches linger a little too long whenever they brushed past each other all day, it isn’t much of a surprise to Ed when he speeds his way through story time that evening, stumbling over his words and almost skipping an entire page of the chapter, before bidding the crew a curt goodnight and grabbing Ed by the wrist to drag him below deck. Stede wordlessly pulls him all the way back to the Captains’ Quarters, ordering him to shut the door once they’re inside.
All according to plan.
The door is barely closed before Ed finds himself shoved up against it. A small gasp is left caught in his throat and turns into a soft, pleased moan as Stede’s lips capture his own. Stede’s hands settle into a firm grip on Ed’s waist, his hips pressed flush against Ed’s to pin him in place against the doorframe.
“Mmph. Eager, are we?” Ed grins against his lips.
“Oh, none of that,” Stede growls. “You’ve been aching for this all day and you know it.” He starts working his way across Ed’s jaw over to his neck with a trail of hungry kisses, sucking a bruise into the skin just below his ear.
Ed moans against him, twisting his fingers into Stede’s hair. “I don’t — fuck… I dunno what you’re talking about, mate.”
“Don’t play coy with me, sweetheart.” Stede pulls back for a moment to get a firm grip on Ed’s wrists, using them to pin his arms properly against the door. “The real question is, are you going to be good for me or are you going to keep being a tease?”
Ed raises his chin defiantly, pretending to consider it. “Mm, guess it depends on—”
“Let me rephrase that,” Stede cuts him off as he slides one of his legs between Ed’s, his rapidly hardening cock pressing against Ed’s thigh. “Would you like me to let you come tonight or would you prefer that I leave you like this?”
“Fuck, Stede,” Ed shivers against him. “More.”
“You know what to do, Edward,” Stede whispers. “Ask nicely and I’ll give you whatever you want. Use your words, my love.” He latches onto Ed’s neck again, his teeth gently grazing against the skin before his tongue gently soothes.
Ed knows that he has two options. He can do as he’s told and he’ll get exactly what he needs, as simple as that. But then it’ll be over, and the boredom will start creeping back in again. Or he can continue being a bastard. And Stede will definitely make him pay for being disobedient, but he’ll have something to focus on for just a little while longer.
“Make me.”
Stede ceases his attack on Ed’s neck, pulling back to look him directly in the eye. He’s panting slightly, eyebrows furrowed. “Say that again?” His voice wavers slightly, but it’s already dropped to that lower, more authoritative register that goes straight to Ed’s dick every time.
Yeah, he made the right decision.
Ed smirks, leaning forward so their lips are millimetres apart. “I said, make me.”
Stede’s hand is suddenly in his hair, using his ponytail to yank his head back. Ed keens at the contact. “Oh, I see. You’re in the mood to play, hm?”
Ed tries to nod, but Stede only tightens the grip he has on his ponytail, making him moan louder. Without even needing to say anything, Stede seems to understand exactly what the purpose of Ed’s brattiness tonight is. He leans forward to press a quick kiss to Ed’s temple, but the fire in his eyes is still there.
He slides his hands down Ed’s torso until they come to rest on his thighs. Stede slowly lifts Ed’s left leg up to wrap around his waist, gently tapping the right one to guide Ed to bring it up alongside the other. Ed makes a surprised little noise as he finds himself being lifted completely off the ground, but he instinctively wraps his arms securely around his lover’s shoulders as Stede begins carrying him across the cabin.
The journey from the doorway to the private alcove of their bed is far longer than it should be, since they’re too busy kissing for Stede to concentrate on where he’s going, leading him to bump into every piece of furniture in their path. Ed chuckles softly as Stede walks right into an armchair, cursing faintly under his breath and murmuring a faint apology against Ed’s lips — although Ed can’t quite tell if it’s intended for him or the chair.
As they finally reach their destination, Stede gently tosses Ed down onto the sheets, only making his fit of giggles worse. “I’m glad you find this so amusing,” Stede huffs.
“Oh, don’t worry, I do.” Ed’s propped up on his elbows at the edge of their bed watching Stede stumble around, hopping on one foot as he kicks off his boots. “Now hurry up and get over here.”
Stede pauses as he unlaces his shirt to glance over at Ed. “Excuse me?”
Now that they’ve made it this far, Ed could just give in and start behaving himself. But he’s not quite done playing with his food yet. “You heard me,” he shrugs. “I thought you were gonna fuck me. Get on with it.”
“Patience, darling.” Stede finishes pulling his shirt over his head and tosses it aside onto the chair by the foot of the bed, gesturing for Ed to lift his foot up. Ed makes a show of kicking his right leg out, falling pliant to let Stede unlace his boot and slide it off his foot before moving on to the other. “I told you exactly what I wanted from you. If you want me to fuck you so badly, ask nicely.”
“Yeah, and I told you to make me,” Ed retorts. “Could be wrong, but it doesn’t really look like you’re trying very hard here, mat—”
Stede cuts Ed off by straddling his waist, pinning his arms down to the bed. “I think you’re done talking now. Time to listen. Yes?”
Ed’s pulse quickens. There’s nowhere for him to look except to stare directly into Stede’s eyes, the usual warm hazel gaze now burning with something dark and lustful. He manages a simple yet definitive nod.
“Good boy,” Stede purrs. He releases his grip on Ed’s wrists and helps him undress, pulling his shirt over his head and sliding back down the bed to peel off his ridiculously tight trousers. Soon Ed is left in only his cravat, and Stede’s fingers graze over the material. “On or off?”
Sometimes Ed likes to take it off during sex, to lay himself completely bare. But then other times he prefers to keep it on, to have the reassuring pressure against his throat. A reminder of who he belongs to.
“On,” he answers breathlessly. Stede gives him a soft smile and nods, gently pushing Ed back down against the sheets.
“So this is what’s going to happen,” Stede states so matter-of-factly that it would almost be comical if Ed wasn’t so goddamn horny he could explode. “Since you’re so desperate, I’m going to open you up and fuck you with my fingers for as long as I want until you decide to stop being a brat and tell me exactly what you’d like me to do to you. Does that sound fair?”
Ed groans dramatically. “Sounds like you want me dead.”
Stede knows that’s a fuck yes. He chuckles, leaning in to brush a few stray hairs out of Ed’s face before laying a soft peck on his forehead. “Hands and knees, sweetheart.”
Ed does as he’s told, rolling over onto his front as Stede shimmies out of his own trousers and retrieves the small, half-empty vial of oil from their bedside table. Ed shivers at the sound of the cork popping off the bottle, arching into the familiar feeling off his lover’s warm hand tracing down his back.
A well-oiled finger teases around his entrance before slowly pushing in, making Ed hiss. “More.”
“Patience,” Stede reminds him.
“Stede, come on,” Ed whines. “I can fuckin’ take it.”
“I know you can.”
Ed growls in frustration. “Then fucking give it to me—”
Stede cuts him off by grabbing hold of his ponytail again, giving it a firm yank. Ed’s protests quickly fade into a loud, needy whimper. “I thought I told you no more talking? Behave, Edward. Or this is all over.”
“I’m sorry,” Ed sobs. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Please, just… need more, baby. Feels good. Please.”
“Of course, darling,” Stede coos, releasing his grip on Ed’s hair and pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade. “Look at that, you do know how to use your words.”
He adds a second finger alongside the first in Ed’s hole, crooking them in a beckoning motion. No one else has ever been able to make Ed so weak with just their hands before, but it’s as if Stede knows all the secrets to his body that even he never knew. It doesn’t take long until Ed is writhing against their sheets, gasping and whimpering and rocking back into every thrust of his fingers.
“Fuck!” Ed cries out on a particularly deep stroke. “St-Stede, please. Fuck me. Fuck, please, I need you to fuck me.”
Although he can’t see his face, Ed can practically hear the grin in Stede’s voice as he leans forward to whisper in his ear—
“Make me.”
Ed groans, digging his fingers into the sheets. “Please, I want it so bad, love. I need you. Need you inside me, Stede. Wanna come on your cock.”
“Good boy,” Stede purrs as he slowly slides his fingers out of Ed’s hole, a needy whimper falling from his lips at the sudden emptiness.
Stede quickly slicks up his cock with more oil before lining himself before slowly pushing his length all the way inside Ed’s hole until he bottoms out.
“Alright, Ed?” Stede murmurs.
A small, satisfied sound vibrates from the back of Ed’s throat. “Yeah. Feels so fuckin’ good, love. Move. Please.”
Stede laughs fondly at the neediness in his voice, pulling out achingly slow so the head of his cock is at the edge of Ed’s rim before slamming back inside until he’s buried to the hilt. Ed gasps as if he’s just had the wind knocked out of him, but it quickly shifts into a loud whine. Stede falls into a steady rhythm, his thrusts slow yet deep, making Ed cry out every time.
“Fuck, Stede!” Ed shouts. “Please, f-faster, baby. Not gonna last long.”
Mercifully, Stede takes pity on Ed and obeys his request, fucking him into the mattress at a relentless pace. Ed’s practically screaming with every thrust, moaning and babbling incoherently as the bed creaks and groans beneath them.
“Fucking shit. I’m so — mmm, god, just like that.. Fuck, you’re — you’re gonna make me come, Stede. Please. Please, don’t fucking stop. I’m so close, love, so fucking close—”
“You want me to let you come?” Stede whispers hot against his ear. “Use those pretty manners. Beg for it. Show me how much you want it.”
“Stede, fuck! I need it!” Ed pleads, tears welling in his eyes.. “I need to come. Fucking please. I’ve been so good."
"Well, that's debatable," Stede huffs.
"Please let me come. Pleasepleasepleaseplease—”
“Good boy. That’s it. Come for me, sweetheart.”
Ed could fucking cry. His hips jerk forward helplessly into the mattress, thighs trembling as he spills out onto the sheets. Stede follows soon after, rolling his hips forward with a few more desperate thrusts before his release finds him, burying himself deep inside Ed and filling him to the brim.
“All good, darling?” Stede asks as Ed collapses onto the sheets.
“Mhm,” Ed answers, his voice muffled by the pillow. “Love you.”
Stede chuckles, reaching out to stroke Ed’s hair. “I love you, too.”
After he cleans them both up with a few quick swipes from a warm washcloth, Stede climbs back into bed. As Ed snuggles into his side, he notices a smug look on Stede’s face and scrunches his eyebrows together. “What?”
“Oh, nothing,” Stede hums, kissing the top of his head. “It’s silly.”
“What?” Ed repeats, unconvinced.
Stede relents, his grin widening. “I think we may have found the cure to boredom.”
Ed snorts. “Oh, I’m pretty sure you can cure a hell of a lot more than boredom if you keep fucking me like that, babe.”
“Okay,” Stede rolls his eyes playfully. “Goodnight, darling.”
“I mean, fucking hell, babe. That thing you did with your hips when you—”
“Go to sleep, Edward.”
“Make me.”