Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“If I could but forget, but you linger still”

Byun Baekhyun makes plans. Park Chanyeol has none.

And when they're forced to look at one another for the first time, they see someone they never knew they needed in their lives.

Chapter Text

“There’s Byun talking to Mr. Chavez.”

Chanyeol unknowingly lets his gaze move across the courtyard to where the student body president is standing next to their vice principal. The petite man has a school official mascot embossed white plastic clip board in hand, furiously scribbling notes away while keeping his valedictorian speech smile in place.

The sound of his distinct laugh comes across the space between them and Park Chanyeol squares his shoulders with a snort.

“Brown-nosing as usual I see. I wonder if it’s hard for him to kiss ass all the time.”

“Yeah, from the looks of it, he’s going to come away with chapped lips and hemorrhoid cream on those pink cheeks. He’s been over there with that thin old man for the last half hour.” A friend, or more of a teammate than a person he called a comrade, named Shindong says with a hearty chuckle to punctuate his vile thoughts.

Chanyeol forces a laugh to follow suit but he looks back at the boy and knows that he’d smell clean and fresh. He could just feel it in his bones. He sensed that Mrs. Byun washed the family laundry and used fabric sheets to freshen the dryer up. The clothes probably mysteriously appeared on his bed, folded and clean, color coordinated in neat stacks on a meticulously made bed in pastel colors. Byun seemed like the kind of kid to have a bookshelf full of books instead of a bookshelf full of green plastic cased games on display in his bed room.

“What’s the matter park? Cat got your tongue? You pulled in by Byun’s lady hips and juicy thighs?”

Chanyeol shoots his best version of an unimpressed glare over with his cut eyes but there was no addressing the validity of their words. He wouldn’t dignify the jeering with examination only to be satisfied with the lush swell of his curves in bright blue denims.

“That kid has a world of hurt coming. He has no idea how harsh the world can be. He’s in for quite a surprise. College is going to chew him up and spit him out.” Rich words coming from the captain of the team, a twice failed senior who got held back in middle school and  only got his act together as a freshman.

He offers his own smug evaluation and Chanyeol quietly allows it.

Siwon and the guys weren’t bad guys. They’re nice guys but they’re jocks. They’re bred this way through years of funnelling through the educational system, trained and conditioned in the halls with tv, with movies, with radio shows and sports icons. They don’t mean any harm, but they’re neanderthals none the less and he knows the words that leave his mouth come off in the same harsh ignorance but he lets himself get pulled in again.

“He’s going to end up flunking out and crawling home to Mom after his hips eat up the bulk of the freshmen 15.”

“Those nice curves are going to become cottage cheese real fast!” Someone offers and they all cackle in unison, cuffing one another on the shoulder, pleased with the evolution of the conversation.

Chanyeol glances back at the man and watches him laugh along to a joke, one that is doubtfully as amusing as he plays it off to be, before going back to jotting down notes.

“Look at Chayeol, guys, he’s completely smitten at the sight of that Queen over there. standing in his official Sooman High tee like a complete loser.”

He chuckles and plants both hands to his hips, breathing in deeply to inflate his muscular chest like Superman, glancing off dramatically.

“Yes, yes that’s right, I am the King of Sooman High. Worship me!” He says and the boys rough house and joke about his ego, swallowing him in a headlock and tugging him down to scrub their fists to the top of his head with loud laughter, drawing attention to the gathering.

Park Chanyeol had won the elections to be “co-director” with the student body president of activities on their senior trip to the mountains. Why they were going up into the dark dank North Carolina mountains from their blissful warm perch in Florida, Chanyeol would never know, but the promise of getting to mess around with his classmates on a trip instead of being crammed at school was a welcome change of pace.

The trip would be by bus a total of 7 hours and 42 minutes of driving time, not taking into consideration the multiple stops for bathroom breaks. The bus would be departing at 11 PM and arriving the next morning at approximately 8 AM factoring in the traffic and stopping throughout the trip. An overnight bus meant a quieter trip as most of the students would opt to sleep on the long ride at some point and leave an entire day for class team building and memory-making funtivities. The time was now 7:30 PM and the first groups of people were starting to arrive with duffel bags slung over one shoulder. The busses had just pulled up, sleek and black, humming beside the gym in the still of the evening’s burnt light.

“Let’s start moving everyone inside the gym! Come on!” Coach Mitchell starts her ushering of the students towards the gym, the slight but tough Cheerleading coach waves her arms like a butterfly and the kids start to loudly chatter about their nervousness for the bus ride and the long trip.

“I hear there’s like this Old western themed Amusement park called The Ghost town in the sky! We should go on Monday, we get a whole afternoon for free group activities, the teachers said we can go with a designated chaperone!” One of the band kids says, tucking her cherry red flat iron straight hair behind her multiple hole punched ear with a giggle to her friend.

“Hey Lindsey, I can give you an amusing ride!” One of Chanyeol’s friends says to the girl and Chanyeol looks down, embarrassed by association.

“Blow yourself.” She replies nonchalantly and flips the gang the bird as she walks off.

Though they yowled and cat called her as she stormed off, announcing she was “caliente” (one of the few retained spanish words from their 7 years of spanish studies), Chanyeol knew they wouldn’t be caught dead dating her. She didn’t fit the mold. She’s the girl you hook up with because she’s hot, not the girl you date because she’s hot. There’s a distinction and it’s up to neanderthals like him to decipher the codes and choose a mate carefully. He had chosen wisely. A meek but pretty girl, christian and pure but still on the volleyball team and active in the same social circles. Park Chanyeol’s girlfriend is Krystal and she’s really, a very nice girl. He’s been dating her for 4 or 5 months but they very rarely spend time together, both busy with their extracurriculars.

And he wasn’t at all bothered by that, because being around her made him feel guilty. He liked her, and she’s cute, and they make out sometimes, but he’s not in love with the girl. He’s not into her like that. He’s ready for her to go to college and meet someone else and that’s truly no way to look at a relationship. Chanyeol considers himself the worst of all of his friends, because he knows what’s wrong and right, and he actively chooses the easier route, the cowardly way. He chooses to be an asshole, while the others, are just dumb enough to go along with it. Chanyeol is the real asshole.

The distance between Pensacola, Florida and Maggie valley, North Carolina is just a thumb nail and a half on the map in his hands. He heaves in a deep breath and curls towards the window of the bus, closing the map and folding it in half. He holds down the home button on his phone and watches the home screen flash to life. An animated picture flashes across the screen, the numbers 3:41 appear and he swallows hard. It’s nearly 4 in the morning, but he hasn’t slept a wink. His portable juice pack has kept his phone charged for the last few hours, but now it too is running out of ammo. He needs this battery to keep going for the rest of the day but here he’s wasted it away reading how to train your dragon slash fanfiction on his phone. A twitter follower of his recommended it and he caved to the perversion and got sucked in. Just a typical night for him, but this is no time for insomnia. He has a busy day ahead… a busy day of keeping everyone in line on his only important job as a student body president.

The truth is that he had made it seem simple, but he had to really fight tooth and nail to make this happen. Ordinarily it was designated that the students all take a day trip to Disney because it’s there in Florida and that’s the easiest solution. But the class had voted on this two night overnight trip and he had pulled all the strings he had and spoken to both the PTA and the school board with lectures. That’s not even taking into consideration the amount of campaigning he had to do to get enough teachers on board, and the fund raising he pulled on top of the regular fees of the trip. This had been his life’s work campaigning for this for 2 years now, and now that it’s finally here, not one person had thanked him. Not one single thank you.

“Hey, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun quickly turns in the seat and looks up at the pretty brunette, tall and thin, blocking out the dim light in the overhead highlighting the walkway.

“Hey! Hey, what’s up? Is my reading light bothering you?” He asks quickly turning off the portable light he had used to look at the map.

“No, it’s the… the guys in the back… some of us are trying to sleep and they’re still rough housing.” She says.

He clears his throat and gathers the crap in his lap, putting it on the seat to stand up. He turns towards the back of the bus and sees the jocks standing up and laughing, quietly enough but still boisterous.

“Yeah… Yeah, I get it. I’ll go talk to them.”

She stares at him a moment before looking uncomfortably down and shrugging.

“You… you don’t have to do that… I just… we were thinking you could get a teacher to go back there.”

He tries not to let it bite. He’s frequently their target, so he knows not to let them get to him, but he must look pretty weak to others.

“The teachers are all asleep though… Don’t worry, I’m going to speak to Park about it. He’s friends with them, and I can at least see if he can get his friends to quiet down.”

She looks skeptical but marches back towards her seat. He watches the movement in the back of the bus and tries to gathers his courage. For some strange reason, he musses his hair as he walks, feeling the need to come off as cooler in front of these dweebs.

“Oh, hey! Look who it is!”

“It’s our student body pres!” Another cheers, sounding drunk.

Sleep deprivation is starting to hit them but they’re too proud to admit it and run the risk of falling asleep on a friend’s shoulder.

“Howdy Mr. President.” Shindong sings with a terrible cowboy drawl.

Park Chanyeol laughs and looks up at him with the rest, his smile stretching from one oversized ear to the other.

“Howdy.” Baekhyun offers but knows immediately that the joke has passed. “I uhh… I just need to speak to Park Chanyeol for a moment.”

The boys catcall and whistle as the tall man awkwardly maneuvers across the laps of his friends to get to where Baekhyun is standing. He looks up at the tall creature before him, caught in the sudden waft of sweat and cologne.

“Yeah, Pres Byun, what’s up?”

Baekhyun shifts his weight uncomfortably and reaches up to fix his hair, suddenly embarrassed that he thought he could muss it up and come off as cool or even slightly more assertive. There are people like him and then there are people like Chanyeol who are effortlessly cool with their height and their athletic skill.

“Uh, yeah, follow me.” He says and starts back down the aisle towards the front of the bus. “Please.”

He checks the itinerary and sees the next stop is only 15 minutes away. That gives him a few minutes to talk to Chanyeol about the plan.

“Um… Okay, so some of the other students are trying to sleep right now.” Baekhyun says quietly.

“Really? You don’t say.” Chanyeol chuckles and waves his arm around the bus, well over two thirds of the people asleep.

“Yeah. Clearly. So, some of them are having a hard time sleeping though because the back of the bus is being kind of rowdy. And I was hoping you could have a word with them.”

Chanyeol strokes long fingers through his sloping dark hair and it falls, unstyled to frame his eyes.

“Sure. I’ll tell em. Is that it?” He asks.

“Well, yes and no. The thing is park, I’m the president, yes, but you’re the student elected official and I really need your help on this. I can’t keep the kids in line by myself.”

“They’re not kids. They’re our classmates and there are teachers to help out too.”

He had thought that Park would have something more going on in his head, some kind of brain function going on… He had a composure to him that the other monkey jocks didn’t seem to have, an eloquence to the way he spoke in class and a grade point average that sustained enough point to entitle a passing grade.

“Park… I’m serious.”

He rolls his eyes and nods his head, shoving his hands deep into his worn denim pockets. His strong muscular arms ripple in the loose fitted white Sooman high bears lacrosse tee he’s wearing and Baekhyun feels threatened instinctively by the stance though he meant no ill will.

“Look, I said I’d talk to them.”

“I need your help.”

“What do you want from me, Byun?”

Baekhyun searches the man’s face for any signs that he would show some pity and give in. But no.

“Nevermind, you’re right… we have the teachers to help.” Baekhyun says softly.

And he leaves, heading back toward the back where he belongs.

But the teachers wouldn’t help. Not really. And apparently, neither would Park, which he should have known from the start. Park Chanyeol was going to be useless in the end, and he’d have to fight through this alone once again. To the end, his high school career would be a series of fights. Fights to fit in, to impress his parents, to make everyone happy…

Chanyeol watches the small student body president stretch out his arms and legs in the gas station’s bright overhead lights. The Student council tee pulls up above his navel as he bends back and his soft smooth stomach shows. Had Baekhyun been a girl, he would have looked away but seeing him this way, his brain automatically spoon fed the media centric ideas of body image into his thoughts. He doesn’t have a toned 6 pack, and therefore, that made him less of a man. But he doesn’t really feel that way. He knows that he should think so but he kind of found the soft barely noticeable pudge to be cute.

Minseok and Kris come bounding up behind him and jab him in the lower back making him double over. There would be bruises left behind and he knew it, but somehow this is part of the ritual of bro bonding that he has to withstand.

“I’m getting a red bull and this pansy is getting a frappacino.” Kris says nodding to Minseok.

Minseok carefully pulls his shirt up to show off his chiseled abs and clears his throat.

“Excuse me, who said I’m a pansy? Does this look like a fairy’s stomach? Look at this. Broken up like a chocolate bar. Touch it, come on, hit me. It’s rock hard.”

Kris rolls his eyes.

“The munchkin has a napoleon complex.” He laughs and the two start to grapple a moment as they walk before him.

They don’t seem to be upset with one another or hurt by the other’s teasing. They simply carry on conversation as usual, talking about something that happened the previous weekend. This is the way men are desensitized to feelings before going to college, this is the bed of frat boy mentality and the promotion of distance in relationships. These are small psychological scars that would take decades to properly heal, and he was watching it like a detached head, unable to stop his body.

“Or, here’s an idea, maybe we can grab some shut eye. We’re going to be stuck hiking and running around all day and I really don’t want to deal with cranky babies all day.” Chanyeol says and shoves past them.

The two bristle lightly and laugh it off talking about how the caffeinated drinks have no influence on them.

“Right, right, you have a magical body that makes you immune to Taurine.” Chanyeol laughs with a roll of his eyes.

While they both put up a fight, neither of the boys grab the drinks they mentioned and they filter out of the well lit gas station Kwik Stop with bottles of buy 2 for $3 Gatorades in unnatural colors while discussing the taste of G series protein bars.

Baekhyun is standing by the girls bathroom when they start across the parking lot and he watches a few teammates corner him and tease him about waiting in line for a turn. He knows he needs to step in, despite the shoddy excuse for a title, he could tell Baekhyun was hoping for his help on this trip from their short exchange on the bus. He decides he can distract them from what they’re doing when two girls step out of the bathroom and his friends are instantly distracted on their own. Their pea brains switch track immediately and they start after the girls with 20 questions.

Baekhyun tries to be subtle about wiping sweat from his brow and starts to follow the flirting neanderthals and Chanyeol realizes he was standing guard for the women. Who says chivalry is dead?

He does a walk through of the gas station and checks in with the teachers standing guard at each of the doors to the busses, doing a head count check on each bus before coming back to meet Chanyeol at the door of their bus.

“Everyone accounted for?”

Baekhyun heaves a sigh and a good natured smile touches the corner of his mouth and for the first time, Chanyeol notices a small birthmark above the man’s upper lip, tucked in the corner of his smile and he fixates on it for a moment longer than he should.

“What?” The kid asks touching his mouth with thin, angular fingers.

“You really are a dainty little thing aren’t you?” He snickers and ruffles the man’s hair before boarding the bus and moving to the back of the bus.

He meets eyes in the dim lighting with the president standing at the front of the bus and they stare at one another for a moment before the kid huffs and spins on his heel, plopping into his seat and disappearing behind the high navy blue velvet chair’s back.

“Alright ladies, time to get some shut eye. We have to be up in a few hours.” Chanyeol announces, but the gesture itself is almost unnecessary as the crew had all found their headphones and earbuds and started streaming their music and checking their phones.

They start to text one another, and send good night texts to their girlfriends, sinking low in their seats and leaning their heads to one side with heavy eyes.

“Shove off, Park. You’re not the boss.” Someone mumbles and he smirks to himself, joining them in their ear bud isolation, small insecure islands of bad attitude finding refuge in mind-numbing rap music with lyrics that they couldn’t relate to.

Chanyeol gives in to his secret vice and turns on his country music playlist and stares out the window. The song “What hurts the most” by Rascal Flatts starts to play and he finds himself withholding the urge to hum along to the lyrics. Such a simple sentiment.

What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say, and watching you walk away.

Never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do.

He thinks back to his childhood and how simple things once were then. His mother would drop him off at the park on their way home and she’d go shopping across the street. He must have been 7 or so, but somehow she wasn’t worried someone would run away with him. Maybe she wouldn’t have missed him then like she doesn’t miss him now. He liked to swing on the swingset, which wasn’t the manliest of school yard activities but he liked the feeling of the wind pushing him around, feeling in control of an uncontrollable force. The other boys played on the grounds far off from the equipment, running in the field with foam balls and baseballs. But Chanyeol wasn’t into running back then. He used to be grounded. He wanted to face the impossible feats and overcome the small defiances of physics that was swinging higher and higher.

He skipped off of the ground and leapt into the air with the brass chain link clutched against his sweaty palms and he flew forward, grounded by his steely will power. There was one day when the swings were all occupied and he was silently debating whether he wanted to go into the store to find his mother or continue to wait for a swing to open up under the shade of the tree by the slide. There were honeysuckles all around the area and sitting perched on the edge of the flower patch, there was a small kid in baby blue suspenders and a white tee shirt. He was weaving the flowers into a crown with a few of the girls gathered together making equally hideous flower jewelry. And he had almost made up his mind to go find his mother when suddenly he saw something moving from the corner of his eye.

“Chanyeol!”

Chanyeol opens his eyes suddenly and looks around, his memory or dream or flashback or whatever it was had carried them through the rest of the bus ride and the large mammoth vehicle had come to a stop with the engines off now.

“Wake up man, we’re here!”

Baekhyun had started to resent the fanfiction that had held him hostage for most of the bus trip at about lunch time. He was beginning to think about implausible ways to sneak off and get sleep as he stared down at the burger in his hand and wondered about how many pickles were needed on a burger to give it the burger taste he had come to expect. He doesn’t really like pickles but he has come to expect them to be on his burger. Is this conditioning or is he just an idiot who always forgets to ask for a no pickles burger. And maybe it’s really just that he doesn’t want to cause them an inconvenience of having to build a special burger just for him, or have to experience the disappointment of asking for your burger to be made a certain way, only to find that they messed it up anyway.

He pulls out his phone anyways and pulls up the open pages in the browser to link through to another open fanfiction, picking up where he left off while debating another bite of his burger.

The sun casts a glare on his phone and for a moment he closes his eyes. He could put his head down right here on the table and fall asleep. His feet feel heavy and his lethargic attempts to sit up straight came off as hard as trying to straighten out a slinky. He has to be the one that keeps them all in line but he’s feeling like he’s about to collapse under the weight of it. Park Chanyeol has an audience gathered around him as he and the boys swing around their lacrosse sticks, flipping a bean bag amongst one another in the parking lot.

He’s not the tallest in his group, and yet, Baekhyun can’t help but wonder why it is that some people are gifted with so much height and others turn out so squat. He’s seen Mrs. Park at parent-teacher nights and she wasn’t especially tall. So why did Chanyeol come out like some lumbering athletic God?

“Staring at him won’t make him help you.”

Baekhyun looks over at the slender student council member at his side and he smiles. Sehun has glasses and long hair in his eyes, he’s one of the popular, unpopular kids. He’s wearing a hipster cardigans over a cowboy printed button down with a bolo tie around his neck. His pressed shirt is tucked into fitted high water khakis and paired with loafers. And despite the fact that he looked like he’s stepped out of a 70s dating show and into an urban outfitters campaign before coming to school every day, he never seemed to have any shortage of female love interests parading through his life.

“He kind of helped yesterday.”

“No he didn’t, stop making excuses for him.”

Baekhyun pokes his fry at the straw of his soda and agrees that he wasn’t much help.

“So, are you going to help?” Baekhyun asks, turning quickly with a grin.

“Not a chance presidenté. “ He laughs, leaning over Baekhyun’s shoulder and swiping the home screen to read over his shoulder.

“Who names their character Hiccup?”

Baekhyun quickly turns the phone away and busies himself with cleaning up his trash.

“A very smart person apparently, since they’re making tons of money off of that animated series.”

Joy rounds the corner and takes a seat across from Sehun and the two share a few secretive smiles that Baekhyun can never read. It either had to do with the fact that they were both graduating early or it had to do with the fact that they were seeing one another on the down low but he still had no proof of either theory.

“How’s it going treasurer?” Sehun asks casually and she points her unopened fork in his direction in unspoken warning.

“Did you hear that girl complaining about the bugs? We’re not on a trip to the mall, we’re in the mountains. Couldn’t she come up with something a little more original to complain about?” She asks looping her hair into a loose ponytail that slides over one shoulder in thick dark curls.

“Actually, I think that was me complaining.” Sehun admits with a chuckle and Baekhyun laughs quietly.

“This is nice though. I’m tired from sleep deprivation but I like being able to stretch my legs like this instead of being stuck in a classroom.” Baekhyun says popping a ketchup covered fry into his mouth.

“Oh, boohoo. You fit perfectly fine in those desks, but my knees are crammed up under the desks like they’re built for elementary students at school.” Sehun growls playfully. “God, B. You’re such a mess. You’ve got ketchup on your mouth.”

Sehun swipes his thumb over Baekhyun’s mouth and then rubs off the excess on a napkin and rolls his eyes.

“Stop treating me like you’re older than me just because you have a little height on me.”

Joy’s laughter pulls his attention across the table and he meets eyes with Chanyeol. Though separated by the parking lot, he looks across the way and watches the man’s dark eyes boring into him.

“What’s his problem now?” Baekhyun asks.

But with that the jock turns back to his friends and catches a bean bag hurled towards him.

“Are you hung up on that jerk not helping you?” Joy asks glancing over her shoulder.

“Can it pipsqueak.”

The group turn quickly to the tall man blocking their sunlight and Baekhyun nervously stands up.

“H--hey…” Baekhyun mumbles uncomfortably. “I’m not actually upset at Park.”

The man raises one brow and scoffs.

“But you do think he’s a jerk?”

“No!” Baekhyun protests too quickly.

“I noticed you pulled Park away last night.” Kris says matter of factly, adjusting an oversized ring on his finger embellished with an engorged sapphire.

He twists the class ring in a way that might have seemed nervous on anyone else, but comes off as menacing on the tall man.

“I don’t know if you’re trying to use this opportunity to try to build up your reputation by being seen with our sweet Chanyeol, but I have to ask that you pipe down and leave him alone.”

Baekhyun gathers some of his resolve and squares his shoulders.

“I am not trying to get some kind of second hand spotlight from him. I just need him to do the job that he was elected for.”

“You’re really so ignorant that you don’t see that this whole student elected something or another was essentially a popularity contest that he won. He wasn’t given a badge or anything. So stop trying to talk to him like you guys are new best buddies.”

Baekhyun plops back down on the stone table’s hard seat and nods his head.

“Fine.”

“Great. I’m glad we’ve cleared up this little misunderstanding.”

The table is completely silent until the shadow has loped off to chase tail for the remainder of their short free period for lunch.

He really hadn’t meant for it to come off that way. He really wasn’t looking for that, but now he was going to be labelled that way and he has no way of fighting it.

“Ouch!”

Krystal swats at her upper arm in her white tank top and looks up accusingly at Chanyeol.

“What? What did I do?”

“I tried to dress cute and smell cute for you and now the mosquitos are eating me alive.” She growls and slaps his arm a few times.

“I never asked for any of that.” He chuckles and withstands a few additional slaps to his shoulder. “But you do look cute… and you do smell nice.” He concedes and pulls her in.

She wraps her arm around his lower back and they walk up the steep path together.

“Did you hear back from Penn State?” She asks.

He had no plan of going to Penn State, and thus, he hadn’t even applied to the school, but that’s the school that she’s going to so she’s been asking about it consistently.

“Not yet.”

“If you didn’t get in then you didn’t get in, you don’t have to lie about it Yeol.”

“I’m honestly not lying, Krys. I just haven’t gotten anything in the mail from them.” He says truthfully and she looks into his eyes for a long moment before knocking her head back against his shoulder with a long sigh.

“That worries me. Maybe you won’t get in… and then I’ll be alone there.”

He laughs out loud but secretly he resents the doubt in her voice. He knew he wasn’t as smart as the other kids in his grade but he liked to believe that it has to do with the fact that he never tries worth a damn. So if he doesn’t do any studying and can pull out a C on a test, it should mean that if he studied he could do better.

“Yeah, I highly doubt that. You’re pretty enough that you won’t be left alone.”

“Won’t that make you jealous?” She asks.

Chanyeol keeps his smile in place but he really had to fight the urge to shrug. But no, not really. He wouldn’t be jealous if she moved on.

“Sure, but I told you. I’m probably not smart enough for Penn State.”

He might have been smart enough for it, but he’s not going to go because his GPA didn’t meet the requirements anyway. He doesn’t want to go to Pennsylvania. He just didn’t apply but he has no plans of telling her that.

“Oh, Chanyeol. Don’t be so dramatic!” She lets go and runs a few steps ahead and turns back towards him.

He watches her smiling down at him for a moment and feels suddenly very guilty all over again. Her small smile and pretty features flushed from exercise made her much prettier than he gives her credit for, and yet, she still holds no special place in his heart.

They race one another with long strides and playful elbows to one another in a power walk the rest of the trail to the meadow at the top. He doubles over and they collapse together in a fit of laughter.

“I definitely won this.” She says.

“Sorry sweetheart, but not a chance in hell. I have longer legs.” He pants and wipes his brow with the back of his arm, only then looking up at the endless blue skies before them.

Baekhyun appears before him and hands a water bottle down to each of them and he reluctantly takes it before watching the short man walk off to grab more cool bottles to hand out to others arriving at the top of the hike.

“It’s nice here.” Krystal comments.

Chanyeol finds himself fixated on the student council president once more though as he perches on the edge of the table and starts messing around with a flower he’d snatched from the ground, winding it in a loop and quickly weaving it into a ring. He offers it over to Joy who is sitting at his side and she laughs and tries it on, modelling for him.

Why would it bother him that Sehun can touch the birthmark over his mouth, but it doesn’t bother him when Joy gets a ring from him?

“Yeah… nice.” Chanyeol mumbles, collapsing on the bed of soft weeds and flowers to stare up at the icy blue skies with their lush clouds travelling quickly overhead.

College… He’d thought about it over and over again, but he found himself coming back to state. He had gotten in with a sports scholarship, but he knew he’d have to actually try to do work to stay there. No more bs classes, the teachers don’t care about you in college. They don’t care about your personal struggles or your family situation. They have too many students to care whether you pass or fail or even show up for classes at State. So there’s his big debate. Does he waste the money going to state knowing he might flunk out, or does he abandon going all together?

And what kind of life will he have if he opts not to go to college after school?

“Okay, Joonmyeon, you’re with… Siwon, James and Daniel in 445” Baekhyun says flipping through a stack of roomkey envelopes and handing it over. “Daniel! Daniel, over here!” He calls out, grabbing the attention of a student passing by. “You’re with Joonmyeon.”

The lobby is chaos, people standing around, tired and irritable, longing for showers and sleep. This is high school. Less than 24 hours together and there have been fist fights, female emotional breakdowns, and two people have gone home early. The drama is at an all time high on this excursion and despite the drama, the teachers weren’t jumping down his throat like he thought. He had expected them to be scoffing and sighing and flat out annoyed by having to be here, and yet, their annoyances were short lived, smiling to themselves at the relief of not being solely in charge or having to teach or do anything but heard the group of bumbling young adults around. But they didn’t thank him for this somewhat hectic 2 day vacation either. Nobody had so much as approached him for this trip and how it was going so far.

“Hey, B, who are you rooming with?”

“I’m going to be rooming with Sehun, Kyungsoo and the drama teacher, Mr. Kim.” Baekhyun turns after flipping over a printed piece of paper, juggling the room keys.

Kris stands over him with a smirk and for a moment, he thought that he was going to embarrass him again.

“Nice. I’m going to room with Chanyeol.” He says with some finality.

“No, you’re not, Kris Wu. You’re going to room with--”

“I’m going to room with Chanyeol. Thanks for making it happen.” Kris repeats patting Baekhyun on the shoulder with a hard slap.

“Whatever you say, but he and his roommates are already settled in.” Baekhyun turns away from the tall former baseball team captain and current Lacrosse underachiever.

He would look back at this with regret at some point, he’s quite sure but for the moment, he’s quite proud of his firm ground.

“What room is he in?” Wu calls after Baekhyun and Baekhyun shrugs his shoulders as he’s stopped about another lost sheep looking for bunk mates.

Truth is that he knew exactly what room Chanyeol would be staying in. He had been preparing a speech to give him all afternoon. He was going to go to his room after dinner and summon Chanyeol to demand that he come out and hear him out. He can’t just go around telling people that he’s the student elected director when he’s not going to pull his weight. And then he seems to be taking all the credit for this trip and people keep coming up to him and letting him know how much fun they’re having. But Chanyeol didn’t put in any of the effort.

Top floor, room 712. Park Chanyeol better watch himself.

“Where were you all this time?” Minseok asks, towel drying his hair in sweats as he takes a seat on the edge of one of the beds.

“I was out for a walk.”

Chanyeol had discovered an emergency staircase that led to the roof and though he had to jostle it a few times to get it to open, he eventually found that the sticky door was unlocked. The view of the mountainside was stunning, picturesque even, and he thought for the first time that he could see a future in this one place. Not that this meant he wanted to move into the hotel or anything, but he definitely liked the idea of a place with a view.

Looking out at the vast sea of trees, Chanyeol was struck with the sudden realization that these hundreds of thousands of trees stretching endlessly before him, interrupted only by thin winding roads, had been here for centuries. These trees that had been here for longer than he’d been alive suddenly made him feel insignificant, small, and unimportant. And if nobody came to tear them down, they would stay here for thousands of years to come too, collecting rings of time as they go. And his life would be insignificant to them, his future meaning little to nothing to them, because they live in blissful solitude, surrounded by other trees that did nothing but shade, breathe and grow. He’s seen the sunset skies a thousand times and they’ve never once been special. But now, looking at the flames of color, he knew that this would be one sunset that he’d remember.

The saddest thing about this sunset over the mountain side is that he has nobody to share it with.

Because if he called his friends and teammates he would be teased for being cheesey and if he called Krystal she would get all mushy calling it a romantic gesture. But it isn’t romantic. It’s a humbling moment, to watch the sun leave the same way it does every day without a care in the world. He just wanted someone to watch the sunset with that would acknowledge the passing of another day and mourn it with him.

So he didn’t elaborate when asked where he was at, and he didn’t try to explain the complex emotions that he felt. He left it as it was, a secret that he would hold to himself.

“There might not be any hot water left for a while… so, you might need to give it a while before you go in there.” Minseok says.

“Where’s the rest of ‘em?” He asks nodding to the discarded duffel bags on the bedroom floor.

“They’re checking out the weight room.”

Chanyeol plugs in his phone and clears his throat, taking in the cookie cutter room. White bedspreads with a paisley bed cover, two white pillows per head and a touch light on the middle table. There is a TV on in their room, the volume turned all the way down, cartoon network on but not being watched. There’s a silence that follows that stays comfortable, both on their phones, scrolling through their news feeds.

“Do you have the hotel wifi key?”

“Oh, yeah, it should be written on the room key envelope over there.” Minseok points to the mini fridge and Chanyeol reaches for the envelope.

There on the hotel printed white key holder file is black sharpie lettering, 4 names scrawled out carefully and Chanyeol knows somehow that Baekhyun is the one that wrote it. Collapsing into the seat, he realizes how uncomfortable all of the furniture is at this hotel, the outdated upholstery feeling itchy to the touch and the cushions sunk in the center. And slumped into the wheeled chair,  he scoots his long body until his head is propped against the base and his legs are completely off of the cushion. There, hung like a ragdoll off of the chair, he hold up the paper and examines the black lettering with a sudden urge to find the man and ask if he wrote out all of the students names on the envelopes. Why did he take so much care in this, like it was so important and it’s really not.

There is a knock and Minseok gets up in flurry of shampoo scent and rushes to the door, coming back a moment later calling out to Chanyeol and nodding his head at him.

“It’s for you.”

Chanyeol thought it would be impossible but he feels suddenly uneasy, hoping it would be Baekhyun there. He had just been thinking about the kid, and he hoped so badly that the person on the other side of the door would be Byun. He swings the door open excitedly, and then all at once, he realizes that the person on the other end is not at all happy to see him.

A hand flies against his palm, smacking against his cheek with a burning sting.

“K--Krystal…?”

Her big eyes are full, spilled tears streak her cheeks and she bites her lower lip with a tremble, seeming to withhold slapping him again.

“You lied.”

“What are you talking about?”

He holds his cheek and lowers his head to take a deep breath against the pain. For such a tiny girl, she packed quite the hit.

“I’m talking about school. I’m talking about Penn State. My Dad knows one of the admission counselors. I was worried about you so I had him check into it and he said no applications were submitted from our school for a Park Chanyeol.”

He’s fairly certain that that’s not a legal thing to do, and he’s pretty sure the counsellor can get fired for that if he wanted to press charges. But he would address that later. Right now he has a crisis to deal with.

“Krystal, it’s not because I didn’t want to, my grades are too low!” He says stepping forward.

“So you couldn’t tell me that? I’m your girlfriend, Park Chanyeol but I have had enough.”

“Krystal, come on, there’s no reason for you to get upset. It’s just a thing. This happens all the time with other couples. I got scared--no--ashamed! I was embarrassed to tell you that my grades weren’t good enough to get into the same college as you. Can’t you understand that?”

She sets her jaw in a lock and settles her trembling fists on her hips. When she looks down, her dark hair falls forward and she gives a shrug.

“You know… If we were another couple… this might just roll off of my shoulder, but I am submerged in the constant bullshit of this relationship. I am up to my neck, drowning in wasted effort. I am going to graduate a virgin, because my boyfriend has no desire to have sex with me. Do you know what that makes me feel like?”

Chanyeol staggers back, feeling very attacked by all of the things she’s letting go at once.

“I told everyone that you’re a gentleman, and that you have strong christian morals and that’s why you’re like this. But I’m tired of making excuses for you. You don’t even try. And that was charming at first, but I want to experience these things. I want to have a boyfriend who kisses me so passionately and for so long that I question whether I want to lose my v-card. Not someone who kisses me a few minutes and then lets me go easily like he could have been doing anything in that time. Am I not pretty enough? Do I have so little sex appeal? Your friends hit on me, Chanyeol but you treat me like an accessory. An accessory that barely gets used! I’m a visor, Chanyeol. I am a sun visor to you. Why can’t you touch me like your phone? You never let go of your phone, you hold it, breathe into it, stroke the screen. I am jealous of a phone!! Do you get it?”

There is now a small crowd gathered and Chanyeol nods his head.

“Okay… Krys, Okay… Let’s talk about it. We can talk about it all.”

She shakes her head, and uncharacteristically, she looks up at him, lashes dark and full.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” She whispers.

“Krystal--”

“Not now. Maybe not until after graduation. I don’t really like you. I just… I thought that I cared about you and that I wanted to be with you. But you’re pathetic and I really don’t even like you. You’re mean to people without provocation and I know you know better than that. You’re a liar, a compulsive liar and a fake. And I don’t even want to be with you, Chanyeol.”

“Krystal, come on, this is not the place--”

“I really want nothing to do with you.”

“Krystal! We were fine just a few hours ago, you’re just upset!”

She rolls her eyes and steps away.

“Why are you fighting for me now but you’ve never given a damn about me before?”

She storms off and he avoids the gazes and whispers pointed at him and for a moment he just stands there, confused, angry, and somehow feeling betrayed even though he knew that he was the one who killed this.

What could have been the single most mortifying high school experience of his life, waited until the end of high school career. He had done so well all of this time, and here he is, at the end, screwed over and he can’t even find the willpower to properly care. She was supposed to be a break up after graduation. A beautiful story to tell one day of the amazing girlfriend he had his senior year and their tearful goodbye and promises to write, and the letters that just stopped coming as they both moved on with their new lives.

He had the whole thing planned out.

He throws the thin whi still in white envelope and and it flies towards the back wall, a room key slipping free and sliding under the bed.

“Hey man… I’m sorry.” Minseok offers awkwardly, already dressed and suddenly ready to go out.

“Yeah… that was unexpected.”

“You gonna be alright? I’m heading out to dinner.”

Chanyeol’s back hits the hard uncomfortable mattress with a careless surrender to gravity pushing down on him. If it were possible to sink down beneath the bed and fall through the floors to the bottom, to stack floors against his back in paper thin sheets and just keep falling, he would have let his weight push through until the impact crushed his bones.

“Sorry bro.” Minseok offers weakly when Chanyeol fails to reply and he hears the man leave the room without another word. He should have known that this would happen. Kissing Krystal had been like kissing a lollipop. Her lips were always cool from her VIctoria’s secret kissing mints and her lip gloss tastes like cherry. Her fingers always hold him too hard, her long fake nails pressing too far into his skin leaving small crescent indentations. And she smells strong, hard, an assault of floral that was meant to be girly and sexy but always lingered on his clothes, almost cheap and childish.

There is another knock at the door but he dares not move, unwilling to be wailed on once more, cheek still stinging from her hard slap. Wearing a plain white v-neck tee and a thin pale grey hoodie with his worn out threadbare jeans, he was chilled even in the room but that was probably his body going into some kind of latent shock.

With another hard series of knocks he glances over and thinks for a moment that it might be Minseok or one of the guys, having forgotten their room key. But there’s still not enough proof that it’s not Krystal and he’s not getting up for that right now. If she wants to talk about it later, he’ll talk about it later. He doesn’t have time for this.

“Come on!”

The knocking continues and he registers the voice with some reluctance. He slowly gets to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling older and used up by life before it fully has begun. So much happens in such a short period of time and he just wants a plateau in his life to breathe. He checks his reflection in the oversized mirror and decides that there’s no time to change but there’s a part of him that feels compelled to. Like facing a person in your break up clothes is somehow disrespectful.

The door vibrates slightly with the pounding and he smirks at the weak feminine voice on the other end recoiling in pain.

“Idiot.” He mumbles, opening up the door.

“Finally! What the hell were you doing in there?”

“What do you want now?”

“You! I need to talk to you!”

Chanyeol stares down with a look of disinterest and starts to close the door.

“I don’t have time for this.” He says but thin fingers snake through the crack in the door and take hold of his hand.

Before he knows it, he’s being yanked through the crack in the door, chest roughly scraped against the door hinge.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Chanyeol barks as he clutches his hurt skin.

“This is important.”

He stares at the closed door, knowing he has no roomkey and bites back his resignation, turning back to the student body president with a narrowing of his eyes.

“Well, I don’t have a choice now, do I?”

“I need you to call off your goon friends who are stalking me!” Baekhyun yells.

Chanyeol looks around quickly and then shoves Baekhyun’s chest lightly so that the small man staggers with a look of fleeting panic touching his downturned eyes.

“Keep your voice down, would you?” He snarls without meaning to sound as harsh as he does. “Jeez, is this publicly humiliate Chanyeol in the hallway day?”

“Nobody is naming any holidays after you, Park. Self-centered much?”

Chanyeol’s forehead scrunches up as he stares down at the man with a pitying shake of the head.

“For such a smart ass you’re kind of a moron.”

“Coming from someone who’s barely passing, I’ll take that lightly.” Baekhyun folds his arms over his chest and realizes he feels much more comfortable being snarky with Chanyeol than he felt with Kris just hours earlier.

“Thanks for that, I really needed you to rub it in my face again so soon after my girlfriend told the entire graduating class right here in this hallway. Thanks, really thanks.”

He snorts a laugh and tosses his hair from his eyes, clicking his tongue.

“The fact that you have some kind of entitlement that allows you to think that you’re somehow the victim here just baffles me. Tell me, Park, is it tiring being the star of your own life all the time while projecting yourself to be the star of everyone else’s too?”

“I don’t think I’m the star of anything, Byun. You’re the one who thinks that everyone should be just like you, like you’re some kind of angel sent to this planet to help us less fortunate souls.”

Baekhyun’s mouth actually falls open and Chanyeol thinks that this may have been the first time he’s ever seen someone do that, he also noticed the way the pink flesh on the inside of his mouth gets caught in the light.

No need to dwell on that.

“I am not an angel, I am a loser, Park Chanyeol! I am a nobody and you--more than anyone else--should know that since you’re part of the crowd that reinforces that stereotype on me, you ass!”

“I have never singled you out to insult you!”

“Not to my face! No! But you do it behind my back, and I swear to God, if you try to deny that, I’ll laugh in your face. You cannot be so stupid as to think that we don’t know you’re mocking us!”

Chanyeol does mock him, and he does nothing to stop it when he gets mocked by others. And on some level, he had thought he was absolved of those sins because Baekhyun was blind to it. But he underestimated the little man, even knowing he had more brain on him. He was plenty aware that Baekhyun was smart and somehow it didn’t register that the guy could know what a dick he is to him behind his back. And that just makes him look worse.

Fuck.

“I just need you to tell your friends to leave me alone, Chanyeol.”

His name sounds different coming from Baekhyun, who annunciates his name rather than slurs it around in his mouth. He says his name with some kind of dignity which doesn’t belong on a slob like Chanyeol. His name doesn’t have the right to hold dignity or be annunciated. It was a name meant to be slurred over Natty light after a Lacrosse game with a bunch of drunk athletes competing in mindless macho games attempting to proving manliness.

But when Baekhyun says his name, it carries weight. The letters are crisp on his tongue, against his teeth, freshly starched cotton and ruler edged lines. He could see the letters in his name typed out in a crystal clear font on bleached white pixel rather than scrawled out in cursive with 2B lead on paper.

“I’m not the boss of those guys, Baekhyun. Any problems you have with them, you can take that up with them. I have enough problems of my own.” He sighs, turning back to the locked door again with an irritable pound of his fist to the door, knowing the room is empty.

“I’m sure your life is really very busy and complicated what with how hard you’re working on literally nothing, however, can you squeeze in a 5 minute session of telling those neanderthals that I’m not trying to ride your dick into the A-list? They think that this is some kind of publicity stunt. And honestly, I’m not interested in that kind of life. At all.”

“Wait… what? I’m confused now. Who is saying what?”

Baekhyun doesn’t expect such a raw look on his face when he turns back to him, looking genuinely exasperated by the situation.

“Did I use too many big words? Shall I speak a little more slowly?”

“Do you want my help or not, pipsqueak?”

Baekhyun swallows hard and then uncrosses his arms to release what could be misinterpreted as a combative stance.

“Sorry. Um… Okay, so Kris has been following me around demanding that I leave you alone. He keeps telling me that I’m not going to be popular and I need to leave you alone and that I’m using you. But I’m really not. I could care less about being popular, I just want you to pull your weight and do your job, but it’s kind of pointless now since we’re leaving tomorrow afternoon so there’s not a lot of work for you to do now.”

“So why are you complaining? This trip ends tomorrow afternoon and you and I will go back to being strangers and that’s that? Why are you making this into such a big deal?”

Baekhyun’s attempt to be level headed and calm wavers as his brows knit together and he takes a forceful breath.

“Park Chanyeol, you are not that stupid! Stop playing around! I am not going to be their new play thing that they torture for the rest of our very short high school career! I have 1 week left after this! You and I both know what kind of people they are, what kind of person you are! And I won’t take it lying down, Park Chanyeol! You can’t do this to me! I didn’t ask for this! I didn’t ask for you to be elected or to have to work with you or even to have to talk to you at all for the rest of the school year!”

“Lower you voice!” Chanyeol hisses as once more people start to gather to watch.

“Don’t tell me what to do! I just wanted to go on a trip and everyone love it and be happy and make memories, just a handful of good memories of high school at the end that would negate an entire career at Sooman high of terrible days! And you are ruining that single handedly without even trying! So I need you to tell your stupid friends that I don’t like you or them and I have no desire to talk to them or be teased by them or even see them for the rest of the year and they can just keep on ignoring me! Just leave me the hell alone!”

Chanyeol  looks around nervously, slapping the locked door before he grabs the man’s wrist and starts pulling him down the hall.

“Let go of me you dumb oaf! Get off!” Baekhyun yells, slapping at the hard hold on his wrist, feeling the strength of the athlete's grip and wondering if he held his lacrosse stick with this death grip, wondering how it didn’t warp the metal under this hold.

“Shut up for a second, people are watching!” Chanyeol hisses over his shoulder, pushing through the students in the hall until he gets to the emergency stairs leading to the roof access again.

“Where are you taking me? Let go of me!” Baekhyun protests weakly.

Chanyeol turns to look back at him and for a second the chaos in his chest finds rest looking down at the man’s soft curious dark eyes.

“God, you’re loud.” He growls, smirking to himself where he can’t see, thinking briefly of things he shouldn’t and jokes he wouldn’t make.

He pushes down and jostles the door handle to get the door open and ignores Baekhyun’s questions of whether or not it’s safe or against the rules, or whether they would get in trouble for going in.

Safely in the emergency staircase, Baekhyun looks at the stairs leading up, no stairs leading down and glares at Chanyeol.

“Why are you trapping me with no escape? Are you trying to kill me? It’s not that serious Chanyeol. Come on, let’s say it out loud. Visualize it happening and you’ll be better prepared, okay? Say it with me: Kris, leave Baekhyun alone, he and I hate each other.”

“I’m not saying that and stop trying to coach me or I will try to kill you, this is a very secluded staircase, nobody can hear your screams.”

“Wanna bet?” Baekhyun smirks and takes a deep breath as if preparing the scream at the top of his lungs.

“Jesus! Don’t you dare, Byun Baek!” He smacks a hand over Baekhyun’s mouth and stares at the boy as if he’d lost his mind.

He becomes suddenly very aware that he’s still holding onto the man’s wrist, and now his other hand is covering his tiny pert lips with his palm. His mind starts to haze out on the fringes and his thoughts start to dissipate like a drop of color in clear water.

“For someone who is apparently adamant about staying unnoticed you sure do make a lot of noise.” He says, feeling Baekhyun’s eyes searching over his features in long hard examining flicks.

The boy licks his palm to get him to let go and he recoils instinctively, falling back into the door, forcing it to latch entirely shut as he wipes his hand on his shirt.

“Gross, what are you a tree frog? Why would you lick someone for no reason?”

Baekhyun wipes his mouth with his forearm but doesn’t say anything, his cheeks pink with embarrassment. For a nobody dweeb, he’s actually pretty cute when he’s not talking or kissing up to teachers.

“I’m not kidding, Chanyeol. If you’re not going to help me on this trip to do the things you were elected to do, that’s fine. I’ll do it all. I’ve been doing it all, and I can keep doing it. But in exchange, can you please have them lay off on me?” Baekhyun says quietly, not demanding with an almost begging small voice that carries no echo in the high ceilinged concrete hallway.

It’s too dark to see him well, the sun faded and the moon rising, the large open window casts long shadows still, deep ocean blue scenery framed high above.

“What good will it do for me to talk to him? If I try to get them to leave you alone, it’ll only burn them up more. If I just ignore you and you ignore me, things will go back to the way they used to be. So just leave it alone.”

“I have done absolutely nothing and they are on my case right now, so clearly doing nothing is not a good game plan.” Baekhyun steps back and takes a seat on the steps.

Chanyeol realizes that the man’s hips are curvier when he sits and he fights a disgusted urge to hurl as he realizes he’s having multiple inappropriate thoughts of what the kid would look like naked and not in a joking way.

“Alright, get up. This discussion is over. Come on.”

“This discussion is not over. You’re not even taking me seriously. You’re not even going to try? I’m relieving you of all of your duties for the trip and you can’t even do one small thing?”

Chanyeol leans his head back on the cool metal door and grins.

“Sweetheart, I don’t have to do a thing. I can continue the trip as I’ve done, not lifting a single finger and not doing any favors for you and nobody would notice or say a thing. I am the face of this trip, and you are the worker bee. So there’s nothing you can do.”

And though he expected some kind of anger from him, the boy leans back on the steps and sucks his lips in with a thoughtful nod of his head.

“Yeah… yeah, that’s true, actually. You’ve got me on that. My offer was only valid in the event that you had plans to actually participate.”

“Exactly. So you have no chips to bet with, and I’m still going to win the jackpot.”

Surprisingly, the boy laughs, his hair is silk as it falls in his eyes with a nod of his head.

“You’re right. I didn’t think this out as carefully as I should have.”

Chanyeol quickly catches himself, wiping the smile off of his face and clearing his throat.

“So are we done?”

The small boy makes no move to get up, heaving a deep breath that lifts his shoulders.

“Yeah, Park. We’re done.”

The sound of wind whistling through trees outside pulls Chanyeol’s attention. It seems like days ago that he stood up on the roof and stared out at the sun submerging for the night to shine. But it’s been only an hour. A very long hour that has turned everything upside down. This is the drama of high school. This is the crap he can’t wait to be rid of. Soon he’ll have such quiet and pleasant days. Alone. Because he can’t go to school… he can’t do this. This is further proof that this is not the life he wants.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

Chanyeol walks over and takes a seat next to Baekhyun on the stairs and heaves a sigh that carries more weight to it than just an irritating afternoon, but he doesn’t ask the tall athlete to spill his guts, he lets him sit quietly at his side and they go without words to muddy their peace. The short level staircase is cool and Chanyeol’s breathing is paced and loud. Baekhyun wonders, eyes focussed on the high ceilings and not daring to glance over at the handsome man at his side, if this was how he always sounded. There’s something almost unattractive about it but for that it comes off as primal and that is somehow fitting. He liked the easing breaths and he likes the way that they could be still like this, strangers with nothing in common, and share this moment. It was poetic, and he imagined writing a piece like this in one of his stories.

“So Kris, huh?”

Baekhyun’s throat closes up at the sudden interruption of his thoughts and he feels instantly panicked and guilty planning to write someone into a fictional world without their name or knowledge. It’s somehow intrusive.

“S--sorry?”

“Kris is bothering you, right? I know you said there are others but if anyone is instigating it, it’s Kris. He’s weirdly protective over me recently because his brother dates my big sister.” Chanyeol starts to explain, glancing over with a half smile.

“Oh. Yeah, that’s cool I guess.”

“I’ll talk to him, okay? And if he gives me trouble, I’ll go to his brother about it and tell him to kick him back in his place.”

He sits up straight and looks over at the athlete, unsure whether he was surprised or upset at the sudden kindness. And at this moment, upset is winning. If he had this kind of kindness in him, why has it been so well hidden away all of this time? He could have done things, actually done things at the school. One nice guy could have gone a long way.

“Okay.” Is all he manages, feeling the chill of wind funneling into narrow space, skin on his arm pucking in the cool.

“Okay. Sorry… you know, if they were really bad about the teasing.”

“It’s cool, I’m used to it.” Baekhyun bites with some whip to the words.

“Sorry.” Chanyeol reiterates and Baekhyun wants to believe that this apology is for everything else.

“It’s time for lights out so the teachers are going to be making rounds soon.” Baekhyun announces walking towards the door.

“Our assigned chaperone teacher went to the strip club though.” Chanyeol replies as he stands to his fullest, 6 feet and more, towering over Baekhyun as he stretches, pulling his shirt up over his navel as he does so and exposing a peek at a God’s cut body.

He chuckles as Baekhyun watches the exposed flesh and then looks away quickly.

“Core work, Baekhyun. It’s core work and protein.” He says placing a hand to the top of his head and scruffing the silky hair.

“Shut up.” The student body president snarls, turning and reaching for the door to pull it open.

He wraps his hand around the hard brass and yanks, stumbling back as he does so, feeling like his shoulder had been ripped from it’s socket.

“Ow!” He exclaims grabbing onto his shoulder protectively and Chanyeol laughs.

“Wow, pipsqueak. That’s impressive even for you. Not being able to open a door, you might need to work on your arms too.” He teases.

“Shut up and open the damn door.” Baekhyun hisses.

Chanyeol grabs the handle and pulls at the door’s old metal and feels the immovable weight of it with a furrow of his brow. He pulls over and over and then turns back to Baekhyun with wide eyes.

“This is not good.” Chanyeol breathes.

“Oh, it’s not good, really? The big strong jock can’t get the door open and suddenly the situation is bad?”

“Byun, this isn’t funny. Nobody is going to be able to hear us down here. The rooms directly across and beside this are empty, those guys all went to the secret mixer on the 3rd floor.”

“What secret mixer?” Baekhyun gasps, letting go of his shoulder to prop his fists on his hips.

“One that you weren’t invited to, clearly.” Chanyeol scowls at the man’s stance and then clears his throat, banging on the door and calling out for someone.

“Maybe there’s another way up to the roof for roof access.” Baekhyun starts up the steps.

“No, there’s not.”

“How would you know?” Baekhyun keeps pace.

“Because I went up there earlier.”

“Well, then I guess we have to wait until the teachers notice we’re gone.”

Chanyeol looks horrified by the thought and quickly resumes his pummelling of the door, swearing and yelling at the top of his lungs.

“Calm down, Park, they’ll come look for us soon enough.” Baekhyun says calmly, taking a seat on the steps again.

“You’re delusional.” Chanyeol whispers, looking over at Baekhyun like he truly pitied the man. “They’re not going to come looking for us, they’re going to be doing their own thing.”

“Their job is to take care of us, Chanyeol. I think they’re going to do their job just fine.” Baekhyun snorts and eases back onto the steps again. “You’re such a pessimist.”

“You’re so naive.”

“Why haven’t they found us?” Baekhyun asks.

Chanyeol is lying on the landing now using one arm as a pillow as he rests with his eyes closed.

“Because they’re not looking.”

“Chanyeol they’re looking, they have to be at least looking for us, it’s been over an hour.”

“How would you know how long it’s been, I don’t have my cellphone on me and yours is dead.”

Baekhyun squats next to Chanyeol, who lazily looks up at him as the kid holds out his arm to show off his wrist watch.

“Yes, how indeed would I know what time it is without my phone?”

Chanyeol smirks and closes his eyes once more.

“You’re really a dork.”

“You don’t like adventure time?” Baekhyun asks.

“Nobody likes adventure time, it’s a kids show on cartoon network. And i doubt any seniors in high school like adventure time enough to get a wrist watch of it other than you.”

He encircles the wrist watch and rubs it gently.

“Alot of people our age like adventure time, thank you very much.”

“Okay.” He snorts, unconvinced and amused.

Baekhyun shoves at the man and sits back on his butt, criss crossing his legs, planted at Chanyeol’s side.

“There’s an entire staircase and you just have to sit next to me?”

“It’s dark.” Baekhyun protests.

This is true, it’s much darker now, the stairs are still with shadow and the light has faded to what the moon puts out through the window.

“Yeah, but nothing is going to get you Baekhyun, we’re alone in here. Are you afraid of monsters lurking in the shadows still? Find your own patch of this isolation chamber and give me some space to breathe.”

The boy doesn’t budge and Chanyeol reluctantly gets to his feet and moves to a different part of the landing, only to find Baekhyun has scooted over to sit by him again.

“Seriously, Byun. Back off. You’re getting on my nerves.”

“It’s dark though.” Baekhyun repeats.

“Are you scared of the dark?” Chanyeol growls.

“No…”

Irritated, Chanyeol jumps to his feet and zips the hoodie up to his chin before running up the stairs two at a time and plopping down by the door leading to the roof. He allows the forced distance for a few minutes staring up the stairs to where Chanyeol is sitting, and though the darkness is too thick for him to see the man’s eyes, he could almost swear that he was staring down into his eyes too.

“Try to sleep, they’ll notice we’re gone in the morning when we’re not there for head count to get on the busses.” He calls down.

“I’m not sleeping out here, they’re going to find us.” He yells back.

“Suit yourself. I’m getting sleep.”

But neither makes a breath of movement, only staring at one another across the escalation.

“I know you’re obsessed with me and think I’m the star of my own movie but could you please stop looking at me.”

“I can’t even see you, you self-centered prick.” Baekhyun replies and Chanyeol chuckles, letting Baekhyun know that he was teasing him. “It’s really dark.”

“You’re such a wuss.” He replies.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Come on up here, it’s not as dark.” The athlete offers and Baekhyun looks back at their only way back into the hotel hesitantly.

“But--”

“Trust me, they’ll come looking eventually and when they do they’ll come all the way up to the roof to check. They’ll comb every inch of the hotel.”

“Have you not seen Home alone? Amongst the chaos we could be left behind.” Baekhyun points out, sounding like a smartass but looking small and nervous.

“Fine, stay down there in the pit of darkness.”

There were two choices. Abandon his post by the door and climb the steps to where his arrogant tormenter is, or stay by their exit and guard it with his life. The chilly air caught in darkness brushes his raised skin on his arms and he rubs them uncomfortably before getting to his feet and racing up to where Park is sitting, tripping only once and catching himself, taking refuge at the man’s side.

“Why are you so freaked out by the dark? You’re almost a grown ass adult.”

Baekhyun agrees that it’s much brighter at the top of the stairs and feels restlessness start to subside just a little.

“When I was little I liked to sit out in the grass and weave floral wreaths and stuff, I was really good at it. So I would sit out in the patches of clovers and dandelions and basically other weeds that looked nice and had sturdy stems and I would play for hours. Well one day, I went out into the backyard and I was sitting behind the shed and my Mom locked the door and I was trapped in the backyard. She thought I was with Dad, Dad thought I was with Mom, and I was actually alone. And they didn’t realize for hours and hours. I was stuck in the complete dark until Mom finally called my Dad and he said he didn’t have me. She came barrelling out into the backyard looking for me and I was so cold and scared.”

“You didn’t weave yourself a jacket out of weeds?”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” Baekhyun shoulders him and they laugh lightly, not because it’s funny but because there is space to be filled in the gap of conversation.

“You said you were really good, I got my hopes up.”

“I was really good.” He protests.

“Then you should have woven a whole sweater!”

Baekhyun looks up to protest and the two meet eyes, close enough in the darkness, eyes adjusted enough to look at one another and their smiles falter as their breaths meet in the shared space. Baekhyun looks up at the man’s long lashes fanned out above his wide round eyes and finds himself the heroin of his own fanfiction, not for the first time tonight. He has these moments where his brain readjusts to scenes in his own writing and looking at the handsome athlete up close for the first time, he has no other thoughts than that of how excellently he could write this. Lost in their proximity, he lowers his gaze to the man’s mouth without thinking and traces over the parted lips before looking away. Chanyeol clears his throat and brushes off his Jeans as he gets to his feet and leans on the open window for a moment.

“I wonder if the door leading out is locked too.”

“What if there’s a fire?” Baekhyun asks.

“Well, in that case I guess we hop through this tiny window.” The man replies nonchalantly.

“No, really. What do we do if there’s a fire?”

Chanyeol opens the door leading outside to the roof and steps out onto the flat empty space.

“Wow… I didn’t realize how claustrophobic I was feeling until coming out here.” He says opening his arms up to the winds and leaning his head back to let out a loud roar into the night.

Baekhyun watches from his perch on the floor, in awe of how lean and spectacular the arrogant jerk looks.

“Come on out here.” Chanyeol calls.

“I can’t”

“What are you afraid of heights too? Did you also get stranded in a very high place as a child?”

Baekhyun’s eye twitches, irritated at the man making light of his fears.

“No!”

“Then come on out here, the view is… would you stop being such a baby and get out here?”

“I can’t!” Baekhyun growls.

“Seriously, you’ll regret missing this.” Chanyeol calls.

“I’m in a short sleeve shirt, Chanyeol, I’m freezing as it is.”

He huddles closer to his knees and takes a deep breath, trying not to think about how much the temperature is dropping as the night deepens. He closes his eyes and rests his chin on his knee cap and starts to rock back and forth. He’s building momentum when he’s suddenly embraced in warmth, a pile of cotton falling on top of his head. He startles and shakes off the fabric instinctively before realizing that it’s an unzipped hooded sweatshirt and looks out at Chanyeol walking away from him. The sweatshirt is warm from his wear, and when he slides his arms into the too long arms, he shivers again, suddenly soaking up the man’s lingering body heat. He stands up and breathes in body wash, and sweat and another man’s cologne and he wishes that it weren’t such a comforting mixture. Because the only cologne he recognizes by scent is his Father’s and his grandfather’s and now this scent is overpowering him and making him feel so safe like those do.

He steps out onto the roof and stops abruptly looking up at the sky. Up so high in the mountains, the clouds have parted away and there are infinite stars above untainted by lights.

“Chanyeol…” He says, stepping up to the man’s side comfortably now.

“I told you.”

The mountainside is shrouded in the darkness of trees a black sea before them, not unlike an ocean, creating dark valleys of whispering leaves. And above that is the stellar masterpiece of astrological art painted for as far as the eyes can process. The cut of wind is lessened by the oversized hoodie but the feeling in his chest is heightened as he looks out at the landscape before him.

“This is worth everything.” Baekhyun says.

Chanyeol looks over at him, but he’s seen Chanyeol a thousand times, and he can’t stop looking out at the rare sight before him. The man studies his profile for a few minutes as they sink back into silence.

“I know you think I’m an angel but can you stop being so obsessed with me?” Baekhyun says, trying to lighten the moment.

His cheeks are starting to turn under the man’s unwavering gaze. The joke had been funnier when Chanyeol dead panned it, with Baekhyun’s uncomfortable laugh at the end.

Now it just leaves the atmosphere distant.

“You’re not as nice as I thought.” Chanyeol assesses with some interest in the outcome of his decision.

“Oh really?” He turns away from the man’s prying gaze and decides to walk around the open space, suddenly seeking breathing room to process some of his thoughts into scenes he could write.

“Really. I thought you were spineless, but you’re actually kind of a handful.” He says, his voice following Baekhyun so that he knows the man is tagging along on his walk.

“I’m a handful?” He asks.

“Yeah. You’re really loud too. Not just when you’re talking to teachers or making boring speeches at pep rallies. Like, you’re always loud. I’m starting to question whether you’re actually being a teacher’s pet or if you’re just slowly talking your way into higher grades by wearing them down. I would eventually cave and give you an A in my class if it meant you’d shut up too.”

“Rude.”

“But you’re still a puss. You’re scared of the dark, and being alone, and of breaking rules, and of getting in trouble, and you make flower bracelets for fun.”

Baekhyun spins around and hits Chanyeol’s chest with the empty sleeve hanging off of his short limbs in the oversized jacket.

“They were wreaths and I was little!” He protests.

Chanyeol ruffles his hair again and grins, walking past him, one hand deep in the pocket of his jeans, the other rubbing his bare arm for warmth.

“I can’t imagine you as kid, Byun. All I can see is you in middle school with your short hair, gelled up at the front of your head with these barely there eyebrows running for the bus every morning.”

Baekhyun’s heart lopes in his chest in an uncomfortable way like a puppy trying to stop with too much momentum, tumbling forward. He hadn’t thought Chanyeol remembered him that far back. They had grown up together, and Chanyeol had always been fairly popular, even when he used to try to compete over everything in elementary school. Even when he had a little baby fat on him in middle school. Even with braces all through freshman year. Even when he had to wear a cast on one leg and hobble around school because he broke his foot in a jet ski accident over spring break.

“I was hoping nobody remembered that, but thanks for the unwelcome reminder.”

“Why were you always late?” Chanyeol asks casually.

“Because nobody woke me up.” He protests weakly.

“Use an alarm clock like the rest of us.”

“I sleep through alarms. And why do you show up early every day for school when you hate school and give no shits about passing your classes?”

“I care about passing. I just didn’t care about exceeding that.” Chanyeol corrects nonchalantly, but there’s a sten set to his jaw and Baekhyun feels like there’s something more there.

“Didn’t is past tense.” Baekhyun observes.

“It is.” The man agrees and they draw a silence as they settle in over the vents streaming delicious fabric softener scents into the night time air, the vent is warm and the two find that they are calm here together.

Unfortunately Kris was right in some strange way. Baekhyun now finds himself wanting very much to be friends with Chanyeol but he’s not quite sure how that might work since the two are in wildly different social circles and the whole point of going to Chanyeol tonight was to force him to convince the guys that he’s not trying to be Chanyeol’s friend and share some of his popularity. And though they’re getting along well when they’re up on the roof, alone, Baekhyun can’t help but wonder if they’d find themselves back in the gladiator’s arena facing off against one another once they were rescued. How can someone who can be so interesting be such a giant prick for all of this time? Doesn’t it get tiresome being such a douche? Didn’t it ever get old?

They had stayed by the warm vents for the industrial sized washers and talked back and forth about unimportant things, gossip mostly about people that were in their classes. They agreed on things like who had changed the most and disagreed on things like who made the best overall change.

“I’ve seen a shooting star for the first time in my life tonight.” Chanyeol whispers, closing his eyes and leaning back on his palms.

Baekhyun looks around quickly and sees nothing but clusters of nameless constellations.

“Asshole, why didn’t you tell me?”

“They’re too fast to be caught like that. It was only a second. But I saw it.” Chanyeol lolls his head back and forth from one shoulder to another.

Baekhyun watches him, realizing that he’s never seen the man look quite so laid back and calm. He’s used to seeing him fussing over grades, making snide remarks to his friends, out on the field for a game, sweaty and pumped full of adrenaline after a game, but never so down to earth and cool. This too would surely pass after tonight, but for this moment, he likes the way he looks. He’s almost like a stranger right now, and Baekhyun likes this person a hell of a lot more than the person he knew.

“What did you wish for?”

“I wouldn’t tell you even if you begged.” He barks on a laugh.

And somehow this seemed like the truth, because telling your wish meant that it wouldn’t come true.

“I wished we could stay up here forever, watching the sun rise, the run set again and the skies light up with stars and the sun all the way in between.”

Baekhyun’s chest tightens once more and he forces himself to look away. Though he knew what Chanyeol meant, not something wildly romantic or some grand gesture, but rather a statement of not wanting to leave, he finds himself delving deeper into the words, searching for alternate meanings. He was feeling things, fooled by the night air and the romantic overhead ambiance. He’s being tricked by his mind because the sweatshirt he’s wearing is so comfortable. It’s the exhaustion speaking, the fear of the future, and the comfort of someone knowing his past. It’s something, but it’s not lust. He keeps that mantra going in his head over and over again as they talk. Everytime he finds himself distracted by the way Chanyeol’s mouth looks or everytime he catches the man looking at his lips. He wants him to lean in a little closer so he can breathe in this smell first hand, and then he stops himself. Unsure where these sudden thoughts are coming from.

“You’re such a liar. You wished for the exact opposite, you wished that somebody would find us as soon as possible.” Baekhyun growls.

“Shhh. Don’t say it aloud, you’ll jinx it.”

“But you just said the other wish aloud.”

“That’s because that’s a stupid wish. That’s wishful thinking. The truth is that we’re bound to be found and we can’t stay here. So if that was my wish, it was a wasted wish.”

Baekhyun laughs lightly and pulls his knees close to his body again to wrap his arms around.

“Thanks, Baekhyun. Really, thanks for this trip. I know you busted your ass for it, and this view is totally worth it for me.”

He didn’t mean to, but his eyes welled with tears, and within seconds Baekhyun was crying. And because he was so silent about it, Chanyeol didn’t seem to even notice, or maybe he was hoping that it would stop if he ignored it for long enough.

“You’re the first person to thank me for the trip.”

“Well don’t get emotional over it.” Chanyeol deadpans.

“I’m sorry. You’re right you know, I am a pansy.”

“I think I used the word puss but yeah, that’s close enough to the truth.”

Baekhyun swats at him again and Chanyeol catches his wrist and forces him to look over. He reluctantly gives over his attention and lets his eyes adjust to the darkness, letting his features come into clarity in the dark one detail at a time.

“You’re so ugly when you cry.”

Baekhyun tries to pull his arm back to hit him again but Chanyeol’s iron lock on his arm doesn’t even feel the attempt. He reaches forward and wipes the tears from Baekhyun’s cheeks with a short laugh and Baekhyun closes his eyes, letting the man touch his face under the guise of drying his embarrassment away.

“What time is it, Adventure time?” Chanyeol yawns and cracks his knuckles in two quick series of snaps.

“Quit making fun of my watch.” Baekhyun mumbles back.

Both were moving slow, they’d returned to the staircase, seated at on the top landing, backs to the wall. Their bodies were broken down from the long day and their emotions had been through the ringer. They were ready to sleep, but nothing is comfortable right now. Nothing feels right because it’s cold and the wall is cement and the ground is too hard and getting comfortable isn’t even an option.

“That’s not a time.”

“It’s 2 AM.” Baekhyun say obediently and Chanyeol sighs.

“There’s still hours before we’re found.” He grumbles.

“Yeah, hours.” Baekhyun agrees, head feeling heavier as he catches himself nodding off.

Chanyeol reaches for the man’s head and pulls it to his shoulder.

“No!” Baekhyun yelps pulling away.

“Relax. I’m being a friend. Just rest your head and sleep. I’ll stand guard.”

“I’m fine, Park.”

But this time when Chanyeol reaches over to pull his head in once more, he doesn’t reject him. He rests there, against his hard shoulder, and it’s not the most comfortable shoulder he’s ever leaned on, but he doesn’t want to move. He wants to stay there with his head weighing on this stranger’s shoulder. The familiar stranger that he’s seen every day for years now, this stranger that he’s loathed and been humiliated by and then on some occasion been completely impressed by. Because in the hours that they’ve been together, he’s learned all of these new things about him. Like that he listens to country music when nobody is around, but he keeps hip hop on his ipod and blames the country music on his sister using his itunes. He knows that Chanyeol likes speed and wind and scenic views and he thought that maybe Chanyeol could be a pilot. Pilots are in charge but they’re segregated so he doesn’t have to be the face of leadership while still being in control and Chanyeol had told him that this was actually quite brilliant and something he’d have to look into. He had even said “remind me when we get back to school” like they would keep being friends once this isolation was over, but he knows better. He knows that there is no future here in friendship, there is only tonight.

“What cologne do you wear?”

“That’s not a creepy question.” Chanyeol replies with a soft laugh.

“I don’t know that brand.”

“I wear some green bottle by polo that my parents get me for christmas.”

Baekhyun tries to pick the scents out individually but he can’t even start the differentiation between where Chanyeol ends and where Polo begins. And the smell of sweat didn’t come off with a spice to it, not an onion or a cumin, it was something earthier, the origin of the word musk. Which sounds both perverted and perfect for this moment where he’s stealing time to be with the jock.

“I want you to know something.” Baekhyun whispers.

“Hm?”

“I don’t hate you. I hated the things you did, but I don’t hate you.”

Chanyeol thinks about this for a moment before gently leaning his head against Baekhyun's and sighing.

“You’re one of those overly emotional types aren’t you, pipsqueak?”

Baekhyun gives a weak punch to Chanyeol’s chest and smiles, reeling in the invisible weight on his chest as he takes in the feel of Chanyeol’s head against his.

“I like when you’re here, talking about stupid things like cartoons.” Chanyeol admits and Baekhyun lowers his lashes and lets himself find sleep for a while.

When his eyes open, the  morning air has gotten much more crisp, there’s a sheen of wet dew on the window and Chanyeol is asleep, his head hung forward on his chest, arms still uncovered. He starts to move, cold in Chanyeol’s sweatshirt, knowing Chanyeol must be freezing. He scoots away from him as slowly as he can, trying not to wake the man sleeping at his side. The birds are out with the crickets, the nature factor was stronger now than it had been earlier in the night. Baekhyun looks up, halting in mid-haunch forward and takes a look at the notably lighter blues above. it must not be even 5 yet, but there’s a definite change in the colors, in the smell of earth and moisture and the filter of light touching the wetness around them. He shivers slightly and scolds himself for giving in to the cool.

Chanyeol’s hand comes out quickly and grabs onto his wrist and Baekhyun totters towards him, fumbling not to fall, and one hand lands firmly in Chanyeol’s groin, jolting the man forward with a hard, grunt.

“Sorry!” Baekhyun exclaims, nervously patting the sensitive spot that Chanyeol is curling over. “I’m so sorry! I thought I was going to fall over!”

Chanyeol’s eyes are sleepless when he looks up from beneath his long bangs.

“Ow.” He breathes.

Baekhyun hadn’t been aware of their proximity until Chanyeol looked up at him with his dark lashes framing his round eyes. He could feel the man’s breath against his skin, a hard, harsh breath of anguish from their accident. Baekhyun bites his lip, brows furrowed, sure that Chanyeol is going to hit him or yell at him. But instead, he pulls Baekhyun forward until he comes in against his chest and he presses in the hard ridge of his nose to Baekhyun’s, the sensuality of it forcing the president to close his eyes. He wants to say something, his mind is an open quotation mark with nothing to follow but the sound of his rapid heartbeat.

He could almost taste morning breath, a stale exhale against his mouth that begged him to close the distance. There’s nobody around them, nobody to see them, and even though Baekhyun was comfortable with pulling in the space remaining to go ahead and touch his mouth, there was not a shred of proof that he could hold to that showed that Chanyeol could share that same thought. The man before him shivers in the cold and Baekhyun remembers his game plan to sit up and take off the jacket, to share some warmth with the jock at his side. But when he reaches for the zipper and starts to slowly unzip it, Chanyeol’s gaze falls to his fingers and he licks his lips to wet them, almost instinctively.

“You must be cold.” Baekhyun whispers.

“I’m actually feeling a little hot.” He replies and Baekhyun catches his eyes and lets him come in the final distance.

He meets the kiss that Baekhyun had been holding back with those freshly slicked lips, broad hands spread as he pulls the student body president in a hard scrape up into his lap. Baekhyun straddles the man, hips flush together as he parts his mouth for another taste. Chanyeol kisses feverishly, hard, and unabashed. There was something fitting about the arrogant jock kissing him so much like he’s the one in control. And yet he lets Baekhyun sit atop his lap, as if Baekhyun were the one driving, pressing down into Chanyeol, knees on either side of the tall man’s muscular thighs They let themselves grab aimlessly to close the already non existent space between them letting their racing pulses take over, hormones and sleeplessness, discomfort and teen angst marry in one thoughtless moment. Chanyeol kneads the round soft flesh in his palms, admiring for the first time, the feel of this ass he’s spent so much time checking out. He’s never had sex with a man before but he knows exactly what he wants to do to the man before him, and it starts with spinning him around on his knees and putting this plump backend up into the air.

His tongue doesn’t hesitate, peeking wet against Baekhyun’s in a lavish stroke as he takes in a long hard breath. This taste that lingers in the corner of his mouth, morning breath and sleep, and he’s still only thinking of how hard he’s getting dragging the boy’s warmth and weight against his lap. Baekhyun takes the hint, the smart boy was a quick study, as to be expected. He grabs hold of Chanyeol’s shoulder and parts their hungry mouths to rock his hips in a looping forward motion while looking down at the space between them. In this space of breathing hard, and avoiding addressing what’s going on, Chanyeol lets out a sound that surged straight through Baekhyun’s bones. It’s a guttural sound, like he choked on a breath and Baekhyun’s attention becomes solely focussed on trying to make him repeat it once more.

“Bae--” He may have started to protest, or there may have been something he wanted to say, but that was cut off with the encore of his groan and Baekhyun grins his delight feeling himself burning hotter with his accomplishment, straining against his own jeans.

Yes, he could feel the burn in his core from the work out he’s getting with his movements, and when Chanyeol grabs hold of his hips, hard enough to bruise and starts to steer his movements with a built obsession to keep it going, Baekhyun finally looks back up, tossing his hair from his eyes and leaning in to kiss Chanyeol once more. His fingers travel up the slope of Chanyeol’s neck and tuck delicately into the man’s hair and they’re all at once sharing sloppy kisses again. Baekhyun’s long thin fingers wrap in the short silken layers at the nape of his neck and Chanyeol’s molten slick tongue presses and spars against his.

When the man breaks apart and pointedly takes a breath with a concerned whimper, Baekhyun is tempted to reach for the solid length beneath his thigh but draws the line at kissing to spare the jock any need to punch him in the jaw. But Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun’s hand and guides it down as if reading those thoughts, pressing it in against his raging cock’s clearly defined shape and starts to unbutton his pants for him.

“What do you want me to do for you?” He asks, really only checking how far he’s allowed to go.

“Your hand is fine.” Chanyeol whispers back and kisses the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth.

And so just like that Baekhyun watched as denim opened up and from beneath blue cotton, a thatch of black hair and a very hard cock came free. He tries to imagine it’s his own equipment and starts to stroke it. He feels the looping veins around the dick’s hot canvas, a mapping of things Baekhyun wanted to memorize. Ungracefully, he finds himself scooting back and hurting Chanyeol by pressing in too hard on his knees. Chanyeol reaches in at his hips and starts to peel off the hoodie and Baekhyun lets go of him only for a moment before reaching back down to grab hold of the velvet skin once more. Chanyeol feels up Baekhyun’s hips, snaking fingers under his shirt and letting Baekhyun bask in the sensitive touch of adoring fingers. He allows the hands to wanders and finds himself mewing his satisfaction as the pianist fingers come up along his spine and back down in a massaging motion.

“Chanyeol.” He breathes, a contentedness in the exhale that Chanyeol catches and steers towards his mouth for another kiss.

“What?”

Baekhyun shakes his head and tongues the shape of Chanyeol’s mouth with one sweep and presses in for another kiss. He likes the way Chanyeol’s hands start to tremble slightly as he pushes closer to the edge, the wet head alight with cum in the air that no longer feels bitter cold, but rather pleasantly cool against their sweat. Fingers clutch in to Baekhyun’s waist and his head comes away to slam down against his hard shoulder.

“Chanyeol?” He asks, playing coy as his hand absorbs the pulse of desire and the spill of warm cum, translucent and thick, pretty and pale in the moon light.

“What the fuck just happened?” Chanyeol breathes, chest rising and falling in hard movements that Baekhyun couldn’t help but admire from his advantageous view.

“I gave you a pretty decent handjob.” Baekhyun replies, going for nonchalance, but his voice is too breathy for that at the moment.

“Why?”

They’re quiet for a moment and then slowly Baekhyun decides to try to move, starting to feel like maybe the jock planned on playing this off as his fault.

“I don’t know, Park. Probably because you put my hand on your hard dick and whimpered at me.” He growls, feeling the tight hold on his hip to be a bit unnecessary.

“I feel like we should do it again.”

Baekhyun’s confusion and defensiveness start to ease as Chanyeol looks up at him with a grin. His heart starts to hammer harder, not just a messy beat like it was moments before, but a hard, steady hammer now as he watched the pretty athlete.

“Settle down, buddy. My carpel tunnel will flare up if I keep doing that all night.”

“Kiss me again.” He breathes and Baekhyun stares into his eyes for a moment before giving in the quiet demand.

“Hello? Is anyone out here?”

Chanyeol’s eyes open first to the sight of the door below cracked.  He bolts forward and leaves Baekhyun, who had been supported by his weight, to fall over as he lopes down the stairs.

“Park, what the hell are you doing out here so early?”

Baekhyun fumbles around, startled awake by the sudden removal of his human pillow. He watches as Chanyeol goes flying down the stairs.

“Yeolie…?” He mumbles, still mentally sleep heavy.

“President?”

The voice is familiar, a teacher, someone other than Chanyeol is calling out to him, so he quickly comes to, grabbing Chanyeol’s hoodie that had been used as a blanket in the early morning and covers up with it as he staggers getting to his feet.

“Hurry up will you, we’re almost ready to head out.” The teacher reprimands, and he adjusts to the dim light enough to see that it’s the drama teacher assigned to his room. “You were stuck out here all night.” He says matter of factly. “Sorry, kid.”

Baekhyun tries to hurry down the stairs as safely as possible with his eyes half open and is ushered to their room. No goodbyes to Chanyeol, no sign of him at all. He knew it would be this way, and yet, he thought…. He thought that the way that he pulled him in to kiss his neck, sucking at the soft pale skin like he was tasting a frozen shake on a hot day, breathing in like he was desperate for the taste of him… He thought that the way he pulled him in to link arms and curl up into one another after their frisk would mean something… The way he buried his nose in his hair and pressed in soft kisses… The way he breathed his name…

He should have known better.

He should have, and yet he let himself get pulled in.

He stepped back into the abandoned room with unmade beds that looked so inviting, but he was given a 30 minute maximum to be downstairs. He looks around, at a loss suddenly, feeling like his schedules and planning had come together and then completely fallen apart. What the hell had he been working so hard for all of this time? He sat with a guy that he barely knows on the rooftop for a night, freezing and talking and wasting their time, and he couldn’t really recall any of the other parts of the trip now. All he can think about right now, are those cold white breaths in the air when Chanyeol spoke.

He grabs his towel and walks to the bathroom, looking at himself in the bathroom mirror and appreciating that he looks like hell. The lone pink mark beneath his ear made him cover his neck and smile to himself briefly, and then the happiness was replaced with anger once more. What the hell had he been doing all this time? He should have done this a long time ago. He should have tried to be with someone who he felt this way about a long time ago. What kind of idiot writes stories about being in relationships but never tries to do it in real life? Granted the love stories he writes are impossible ones, there’s still no reason for him to get caught up in writing and never get to living. But maybe that was the thing. Writing it was as close as he wanted to get until this happened.

Hot water comes against his stiff muscles in hard pelts,  this is what his Dad calls “the poor man’s massage”. But it feels just right at this moment, he can’t stand here until the hot water steams the room, can’t be the one that holds everyone up, but he can’t help but slump back against the wall and stare up at the ceiling. The water comes in against his skin low on his un-toned abdomen, and for just a moment, he lets himself go back to the early morning when he was sitting atop Chanyeol’s lap. How had he been so cocky, so confident in what he was doing. Maybe he didn’t even do a good job, and now he was going to be a laughing stock as Chanyeol told others how much he sucked at what he did. Or maybe, Chanyeol wouldn’t even tell anyone. Maybe the experience was so terrible that he would never tell anyone and it would just be one of those bad memories that he represses of his last year of high school.

He would end up as a bad decision.

Baekhyun set out to make this the most memorable weekend for all of the students, and he’s fairly certain he had accomplished the exact opposite.

What a joke.

Water drops against his collarbone, warm and slow, and he realizes the shower isn’t doing anything but wasting water. He ducks under the water, soaking the rest of his his dry hair so that he doesn’t have to acknowledge that tears could be shed over something so brief. He’s not that guy that gets swept up in a one night lie with a guy who amounts to nothing more than a stupid jock in the end. He’s not that stupid. He’s the valedictorian for his class, he’s the student body president, he’s not some girl caught in the web of false smiles and popularity promises. A hard knock on the door pulls him from his hot water pity party and he hears his teacher barking at him to hurry up.

Get it together, Byun Baekhyun.

But his internal chiding means nothing when his body still remembers the risque things he did just hours before on the roof. And now, Park Chanyeol is racing out of his life, just as quickly as he forced his way in. What a waste of energy. He should have ignored the guy, just completely moved away from him, curled up in the corner and slept the whole night. But he had made the fatal mistake of getting sucked into their night in an alternate reality, their stranded situation creating a false sense of security where they confided in one another and talked about their life, their dreams and the things that they were going to do when they stepped out off of the stage post grad.

He turns off the water without having used a bit of soap and throws open the shower curtain to the haze of his shower, stepping down onto cool tile and grabbing the towel. He doesn’t bother clearing the mirror to look at himself, he’s sure there would be shame written there. He shoves his things back into his duffel bag and gathers up his binders, notes, and clipboard with schedules, bus time tables, hotel maps, hiking trail guides and the student room charts. He takes out his frustration on the inanimate objects, shoving and slamming and this causes him to be reckless and drop things, which only fuels his ire. He made a bad decision, but he can’t take it out on the man who did this to him. He can’t even speak to him in public because Kris will get on him about trying to be his friend.

Maybe Kris was trying to protect him. Maybe Kris was trying to prevent this very thing from happening. Maybe Baekhyun was just too stubborn to see that he would get hurt if he tried to talk to Chanyeol. Maybe he deserves this. All of it.

When he makes his way down to the lobby, the kids are all loaded on their busses and the head counts are done. Chanyeol is standing in new jeans and a new hoodie with a baseball cap over his blue bag tired eyes. He glances at Baekhyun hobbling towards him and for just a split second, Baekhyun thought he might come over to help. But the Lacrosse player turns around and climbs up onto the rumbling greyhound bus and wades towards the back of the bus.

He stands under the scrutiny of the onlookers on the bus as the teachers chide him for being so late. He’s heard others go through this lecture. Angry parents waiting to pick up their kids, they’re on schedules too, and they’re all inconvenienced by this. They’re going to get their heads handed to them when they get home as the teachers who can’t even control their students. They’re going to have to cut every stop short on the way home which runs the risk of things going wrong, kids getting left behind. Everyone is tired, and now there is no room for error. What if the bus breaks down? What if someone gets hurt? What if someone is sick? These are things that were factored in originally that now have no place on their tight schedule. Baekhyun is too polite to point out that this 25 minute lecture is just delaying them further. This is the delusion of adults, thinking that they’re entitled to waste time to validate wasted time. It’s nothing but pointlessly spent breath and words, spit thrown for nothing. Baekhyun is already aware behind schedule they are because he’s the one that drew up these schedules to begin with.

He takes his seat in the front of the bus where he belongs and presses his head to the window, trying to catch up on some sleep. The bus is quieter this time, people are still trying to steal their abruptly cut sleep but he knew it would get louder as the trip progressed. one by one the students would come back to life and be boisterous by the time they pull up in the parking lot. Now is the time he needs to try and spend on sleep, but he’s wasting it away with thoughts of a night he spent through the looking glass.

Chanyeol jolts awake to a hard elbow to the gut and an eruption of laughter.

“Come on sleeping beauty!”

That’s the second time today the word sleeping beauty has processed through his consciousness, not for the same reasons though. The guys are all getting to their feet for a quick stop to stretch their legs and grab a bite to eat and clearly he was being invited in the amiably brutish way they go about things in his friend circle. They mean well, they do. Probably. And it doesn’t matter even if they don’t, because he’s going to be stuck with them only until graduation. And some will go to state schools on scholarships, and others will travel away and grow up, and then some of these unfortunate fools will be left behind. One of those unfortunate fools would be Park Chanyeol. But his focus as he climbs off of the bus is the empty seat at the front. He follows the guys out, all talking about demolishing their food like various hungry animals. He looks around for the pint-sized president and his clipboard. But he finds the man curled up on the ground outside of the fast food joint. He would have made a line for him, headed straight towards him, but his friends are hanging on him now and teasing him about being half asleep. So he bites back his curiosity and lets them pull him inside to order. Fries and a coke, two bucks and some change and his mind is still on the the tiny little man who seduced him on the roof.

Or maybe he seduced the president.

He wasn’t quite sure how it happened but when it did, it was worth every second of shivering in the cold and residual back pain from trying to sleep on cement. Everything seemed fine up there on the roof. The view of that sunset, the stars overhead, the conversation that meant more than just opinions stacked on opinion. And Byun Baek at his side, looking like his eyes were always that bright and his smile was always that perfect. And maybe they are, how would he know from the distance he kept all of this time? The mistakes that stacked higher by the moment as he talked to the little squirt about things other than sports and girls and gossip. Not that they weren’t on those subjects at various points during the night as well.

He told Baekhyun, in some kind of confused moment, that he was happy that Krystal dumped him. That it was a weight off of his shoulder in some ways because there was never really anything there but a sense of obligation. It’s like he was dating her just to keep them from questioning why he wasn’t dating a hot girl at school as a publicly designated popular kid himself. And that isn’t a lie. He told Baekhyun that he wanted to do something with his life but he didn’t want to be chained to a place or a school for the rest of his life. Which is another thing he’s kept inside. And he’s not disillusioned enough to think that he’s fallen in love with the kid. Maybe it’s just because he’s never dated someone he’s actually had feelings for. But he wants to do it again. Whatever they did this morning, freeze on a rooftop, huddled by a laundry vent, staring at the stars, talking about lives that are too idealistic to ever become reality and follow that up with…

Is that something Baekhyun does often?

Is this a service he provides to other people?

Why did he do that, guide Baekhyun’s hand like he didn’t know what could happen… And Baekhyun didn’t protest. With a weak, if uncomfortable start, he re-evaluated quickly and finished his work with a signature move like an artist signing off a masterpiece.

Byun Baekhyun, student body president: secret sex God, hidden hand-job master.

He wants… He wants to talk to him.

Joy is standing next to him, reaching down her hand to help him to his feet now as they head back to the busses. He clings to Joy’s arm, wrapping himself around her and leaning on her shoulder and it bothers him.

“Look at Byun Baek cozied up to stach over there.” He growls under his breath, before he can catch himself.

“That’s illegal buddy! Just because Joy’s in our grade, doesn’t mean she’s legal!” Shindong yells and Chanyeol realizes too late that he’d started it.

Baekhyun and Joy turn around at the call and the president looks physically repulsed by the sight of Chanyeol, quickly putting space between himself and his friend.

“I don’t think he liked that.” One of the men chortles.

“He couldn’t hit that if he tried.”

“Plus she’s forbidden fruit. We’re not allowed to touch her. But if we could--”

Chanyeol tunes them out and watches the two make their way towards the bus. He’s fairly certain that Baekhyun is mad at him, and that may have to do with the fact that he left him upstairs on the roof without saying goodbye. Arguably, there were better way to handle the situation. But his clothes were covered in crusted white residue that left a rather uncomfortable situation to be explained. He Thought he was doing what was best for both of them by getting up and hauling butt before the teachers could ask questions.

“Uh oh… Kris got him.”

Whatever thoughts had been going through his mind were cleared the moment he saw Baekhyun shoved up against the side of the bus. While his first instinct was to go save him, his mind automatically put that guard back up. The truth is that trying to help Baekhyun would hurt him more in the end. But standing by feels wrong because Baekhyun isn’t just the stupid student body president anymore. He’s more than that. They were supposed to be more than that.

“Where did you snake off to? Were you so scared that you had to go hide last night? You were even late coming out of the hotel today? Did you get sick to your stomach from the despicable things you were plotting? You wanted to weasel into our world, but you’re still the little runt you’ve always been.”

“Alright, everyone back on the busses!” Chanyeol calls.

His friends turn to him with a look of absolute horror like they’d just witnessed him getting shot.

“Excuse me?” Kris turns with a snarl and narrows his eyes at Chanyeol.

“You heard me, on the bus. Let’s go ladies.”

“Who died and made you King, Park? Have you lost your marbles?”

Chanyeol crosses his arms over his chest with a snort, looking over at Baekhyun’s blank expression, tired and still clearly upset.

“You like touching him? Huh? You haven’t had a girlfriend in a while, did you finally choose a team? Is it with Byun Baek, huh?” Kris lets go of the front of Baekhyun’s shirt as if burned and turns entirely towards Chanyeol. “I’m kidding, cool it would you? You idiots elected me to be the director on this trip, remember? I got my ass handed to me for slacking off and I’m ready to go home. I’m done with this stupid trip. Now, can we all get back on the busses?”

Kris doesn’t move, still evaluating the situation like it takes his brain longer to process things.

“Do you need me to say the magic words?” Chanyeol asks and the guys at his side start to laugh. “Do you want me to say pretty please? With sugar on top?” He mocks Kris without any hint of fear on his face, he knows he’s keeping a cool exterior, but inside he’s nervous.

He’s frightened that everything else would crumble too. Not just his fake relationship with Krystal  collapsing before school ends but also his social status, his title, his place in the hierarchy or school, and his standing in Baekhyun’s eyes as the cool jock. He doesn’t want to slump down to a loser level and lose what he’s worked for. Kris shoulders him and they start to give short uncomfortable laughs until everyone is back on the same page and mocking him for “finding his balls”.

Baekhyun sneaks onto the bus without a word, and Chanyeol returns to his spot. And looking out the window, the trees flying by, Chanyeol remembers his dream from the ride up and decides to pretend that Baekhyun in the pretty little boy in the flower patch. And that thought carried his consciousness back off. The next time he wakes up, it’s pulling up at the school with black sharpie dicks drawn on his arms and face. He finds his duffel bag and flips the bird to his friends with a grin on his face as he grabs his duffel bag.

“Later director dick!” They call with howls of laughter.

“Drawing it because you want it, I see your game!” He calls back, miming the international dick in cheek sucking motion with his hand and laughing it off, knowing he’d have hell trying to wash it off before anyone at home sees.

Byun Baekhyun was long gone by the time he cleared the parking lot. He hops into his white Kia Sorento and stares at the steering wheel for a long moment.

“Fuck.” He whispers to himself.

The drive down familiar roads to his home left him in a daze, he couldn’t tell if he followed traffic laws or just got lucky coasting through stop signs He was worried that Baekhyun didn’t sleep on the bus. The pipsqueak has a way of worrying. He worries a lot. Too much. When he pulls up in the car port, his car’s the only one, which is good considering the state of his face right now. He drops his bag on the floor and glances around, realizing how different and small his room feels after time away. It feels like going to your grandmother’s house again in the summer after a school year apart and everything looks smaller because you’ve gotten taller. The tables that used to seem huge, now seem so normally proportioned. He grabs the remote and flips on the tv, turning channels from the sports network until it lands on cartoon network before stepping into his shower to spend a great deal of time scrubbing away the black marks on his body, taking care to try to remember the invisible trails left by his one night lover.

Chapter Text

It was easier than he expected, going back to school. He showed up first period for his classes and there waiting for him was his desk as usual. Baekhyun took his seat, front row, left corner and waited for the kids to file in. They have a pep rally at 4 and then most of the obligation is gone. Some call it senior-itis, some call it underachieving, but Baekhyun was in that “fuck it” state of mind and that has everything to do with his recent run-in with “feelings” while stranded with a certain asshole jock.

The fact that he even thought the guy would be different for one second was irritating to himself mostly, and he wanted so badly to be that kid that let it all go. He coached himself that he would be cool about it and let it go, but he just can’t. So he festers on it and let’s it slowly eat away at his insides like a disease. Park Chanyeol got the best of him, and then he got a hand job too. Fuck him. Really, fuck him. He’s an asshole anyways. So he says to himself, but every time Chanyeol makes eye contact with him over the course of the day, he gets this deer in headlights expression on his face and just stares at Baekhyun with this look like he’s swallowed tacks and doesn’t know how to ask for help.

He was almost sure at one point that Chanyeol was going to try to talk to him, standing in the cafeteria Chanyeol was leaning against the door and they met face to face. But once again the guy just stared at him until he walked away and didn’t even try to chase after him. Had Chanyeol always been this… this… everywhere? Was he always hovering around the fringes of Baekhyun’s schedule or is this just a new hell that the insane jock is throwing his way? Finally making it to pep rally time, Sehun pulls Baekhyun over to the bleachers and the two find their seats in the middle.

“You’re completely out of it. You worked yourself too hard on this trip.” Sehun says.

“Yeah… I guess I did.” Baekhyun says instead of admission to gay thoughts about Lacrosse players.

Sometimes you have to pick your battles.

“I think it went over pretty well though. We lost you the last night, but I heard someone saw you in the weight room?”

He stops his picking at the seam of his jeans and looks at Sehun with what he hoped wouldn’t read as a dead expression.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just heard you were in the weight room.”

“Sometimes I’m confused about how gossip travels around here.”

“Maybe the whole thing was made up then.” He muses looking off into the distance.

“The whole thing? There’s more?”

Sehun blanches noticeably at the question, avoiding eye contact stubbornly with a fake ploy to try to spot someone in the crowd.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing, Baekh—“

Baekhyun elbows him and Sehun doubles over.

“Ouch! I’m all bone here, Byun! Jesus! Look it’s nothing. They were making up stories about you clearly. They said you were on your knees in the weight room hanging out blowjobs. I figured you weren’t off getting involved in living out gay erotica.But it looks like they were just wrong.”

“Maybe they weren’t.” Baekhyun mumbles.

Despite his best attempt to ignore the question with the roar of the crowd coming to life.

“Are you saying you were sucking off jock cocks in the sweaty pig room at the hotel or are you not?”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes and brushes him off.

“No, I wasn’t! Shh!”

“Oh since when do you give a damn about these dumb events?” He asks but Baekhyun is now focussed on the center of the basketball court.

Sehun follows the boy’s gaze to the center of the oversized room decorated with hand-painted paper banners and  award tapestries. There standing by the principal is a group of cheerleaders and a few tall jocks. One of them being Park Chanyeol. If Sehun was questioning the legitimacy of these rumors, he didn’t let it show on his finely chiseled features. Though people said Sehun was handsome, Baekhyun had decided that the handsomeness was met with a pinched expression somewhere in the relaxed features of his face making him look snooty and arrogant sometimes. And this is something that Baekhyun likes very much about the man. But looking at Park Chanyeol’s natural expression wasn’t like that at all. There was nothing pinched there, but rather his features round off when he’s not focussed on anything, and Baekhyun still had very vivid recollection of the many expressions. He had taken care to save them away in a safe place just in case he was kicked to the curb following their night. Now, from far away, those memories are not fond moments he treasures but rather more like tormenting promises that were broken. Though technically, nothing was promised that night.

The gymnasium quiets down enough for the older man to speak and Baekhyun does his best to focus on the man speaking but his senses seem to have a heightened awareness of the man standing next to the principal, a taller, leaner man with good hair and soft lips.

Trying to snap out of it, he missed the explanation of what the jock could be doing in front of the whole school as Chanyeol takes the place behind the mic stand.

“Hello, class. Isn’t it always the best when we get pulled out of class to spend quality time together like this?” Chanyeol says with ease into the mic, as if public speaking were as second nature to him as walking or breathing.

The cheers of the gathered individuals egging him on probably doesn’t hurt.

“I’m not going to lie, I’m quite fond of it as well. But that’s not why we’re here today. It’s not for you all to gather here and listen to me babble. It’s for me to officially step down from my temporary position as director of student activities for the our student council because our trip has now come to an end.”

The cheering has now changed it’s tune, and Baekhyun scoffs as Chanyeol basks in the credit of the trip Baekhyun spent his sweat and blood on. This further reinforced what a waste it is for him to have even tried that hard in the first place.

“Did you all have fun?”

Sehun elbows Baekhyun and shakes his head. “Wasn’t Chanyeol essentially useless on the trip?”

“Yep. Essentially.” And with that Baekhyun returned his attention to his phone in hand, scrolling through fanfiction absently, reading plot summaries that all seemed tired suddenly. He was in the mood for angst but he knows he’ll probably end up on fluff and smut. It’s what his brain does when he gets too worked up over something. His ultimate outlet--figurative sex. Because he’s not actually having any.

“I wish Krystal was here to blow up on him in public.” Sehun mumbles.

“I had fun too. Maybe not as much fun as everyone else…” The tall athlete continues on the podium, and Baekhyun pretends not to listen, but his ears are perked and his breath baited.

The laughter was stunted as everyone realized he was probably talking about his huge public breakup but baekhyun assumed he secretly meant the being trapped in the freezing cold overnight on cement. Just a lucky guess.

“But what this trip has made me realize is that we are leaving this school and going out into a big world. Not just in theory. We’re really going to be leaving these halls behind soon. You may end up in a new school, you may not be going to school at all, and you may already have a full time gig living in your parent’s house for the rest of your life all planned out. But these halls, these people, these faces will all start to seem unfamiliar to us. This trip gave some of us the opportunity to clear our heads, to fall in love, to solidify friendships, and make new ones. And for some, apparently, it was a time to end relationships too.” He puts on a fake sigh here and Baekhyun seems to be the only one who notices, because a long coo from the audience leaves him bewildered.

“All of these days we’ve been together, and there are some people I never looked in the eye until this trip. So as I end my role today, as i pass on the crown you all so graciously elected for me, I am here to thank you all for this experience. And in particular, let’s all give a warm round of applause to our student body president for setting this up for us!”

Surprisingly, people applaud. Baekhyun looks up, confused and realizes people are looking at him. And he stands quickly to give a bow, which inexplicably elicits another strong cheer. Baekhyun silently thinks that Chanyeol’s influence is really impressive as he gets a hand to the back of his shoulder and a few “Thanks man”s thrown at him. Strangely, he had been so caught up on how nobody appreciated the trip, but having them appreciate it didn’t make him feel the things he thought he would either. This flusters him more than he cares to admit and he ends up excusing himself to exit the gym when the principal takes back the microphone.

He makes his way into the hallway and skulks down the musky short trophy cabinet hall that leads to the outside of the building and takes in a deep breath. What the hell is the point of Chanyeol calling more attention to him? Why would he do that if not to further fuel Kris’s jeering. And that’s a distinct possibility since the asshat was already joining in on the jokes about him with his goon buddies before they’d even returned from the trip.

So the only question remaining is whether the Chanyeol on the roof is the real Chanyeol or if the Chanyeol before and after is the real Chanyeol and the answer is that, it’s the second. He’s pretty sure that Chanyeol was able to act for a few hours, but at his core, he’s always going to be the pig he is today. Forcing Baekhyun to take the bullying and aiding the fire with more fuel. He whirls around expecting Sehun when the gymnasium door opens. But it’s not his friend, it’s the object of his obsession and he’s jogging over effortlessly the way people can do when they’re not dreadfully out of shape like Baekhyun. He forces his gaze away from the aesthetic and trains his eye on a picnic table which he hoped offered less sensual visuals. But Chanyeol grabs hold of Baekhyun’s wrist and starts to pull him along.

“What are you doing, get off!” Baekhyun yells out and tries to break the hold, but Chanyeol's grip is much stronger though and Baekhyun has no choice but to be strung along behind him.

He imagines letting Chanyeol build momentum and pulling his feet up off the ground and letting the wind carry him like a kite.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Shut up and roll with it, Byun!”

He’s not a shut up and roll with it kind of guy but he obediently follows, realizing that he’s probably too out of breath to fight this off anyway. Chanyeol weaves them through the senior parking lot and Baekhyun quickly starts to realize how kidnap plot-esque this could come off from an outside perspective. Stopping in front of the behemoth truck that belonged to Park with a vinyl sticker of his jersey number on the driver’s door window didn’t help the kidnap fears either. But Chanyeol pulls out his keys and unlocks the car doors with his key fob and spins Baekhyun towards the side of the metal body and slams his palms down on either side of his head.

“Did you miss me?”

Baekhyun’s mouth falls open and he feels his  brows knitting together in confusion.

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve been avoiding me, Byun Baek. So tell me, what the hell is going through that head of yours.” Chanyeol says, annunciating like he was somehow entitled to be irritated.

Baekhyun watched the line of his throat as he swallows, a single bead of sweat rolling from his hairline down his skin before his ear. The smell, stronger than on the hoodie he still has, this smell is Chanyeol all over again. Resistance feels momentarily futile but he tries to make himself to sound upset.

“You’re delusional. You made it very clear that you want to go back to the way things were. You’re the one who’s avoided me!”

Chanyeol doesn’t seem to be paying him any attention though, his eyes focused on the perfect little pink lipped pout just inches from his face. He presses his nose into the skin between Baekhyun’s brows and then pulls back slightly.

“Stop it.” Baekhyun protests weakly and Chanyeol agrees to stop but his face stays dangerously close to Baekhyun’s.

His hand starts to reach out to press into the heathered grey tee shirt but then his mind stops him. At least his self-preservation instinct seems to be intact still.

“No, no, no. I’m saying no! This is not 50 shades of gray, no means no, Park.”

“Listen, the fanfiction about cartoon characters I can almost understand. But if you’re reading women’s erotica… I’m going to be concerned.” Chanyeol teases.

“That’s backwards, you get that right?”

“I’m joking, you get that right?”

Baekhyun wants to smile, he feels himself slipping into something strangely comfortable, a banter that they have previously established. But he’s already made up his mind. They’re saying goodbye at the end of the school year anyways, and he doesn’t want this.

“Get off of me, Park.”

“Give me a reason.”

“Because I said so.” Baekhyun tries but somehow he knew it wouldn’t be good enough.

“Try again.”

“Chanyeol.” His voice is pleading but his eye look away.

“Why won’t you just talk to me?”

“Talk to you about what? About what happened between us? About how things went back to the way they were? About the fact that Kris is still harassing me and you’re fueling that fire with public announcements about me?”

He can tell that Chanyeol isn’t smiling, he can feel the tension and he wishes that they could just go back to how it was before.

“Come on… This can’t be it, Baekhyun.”

“So, what? Now we’re going to waltz around school holding hands? Kiss under the bleachers with the rest of em? No. We’re not. You know as well as I do, that this is a big no-no here.” Baekhyun ventures a quick glance and regrets it instantly.

There’s something in his eyes like helplessness and Baekhyun’s stony heart crumbles under the weight of his ability to bring forth such hurt. Chanyeol drops his hands and Baekhyun’s wrists take in the rush of cool air in the absence of his warm hold. He does reach for the heathered shirt before him now, looking up defiantly at the tall Lacrosse player, almost accusingly.

“What did you expect would happen, Park?”

His weight shifts and he runs his hands through his dark hair with a sigh that Baekhyun feels through the shirt. His hand withdraws quickly like he’d been burned by the sensation and Chanyeol chuckles lightly.

“Skittish, aren’t we?”

“Who’s fault is that? Really, who’s fault is it?”

Chanyeol links his fingers together and rests them at the base of his skull, eyeing the short man before him with narrowed eyes and a fresh pink glow to his cheeks.

“I guess it’s because only one of us finished up that night.”

Baekhyun clears his throat and hides his red cheeks, not nearly as brave now as he was before. The situation has changed. And they’re no longer hazy with sleepiness. Instead, they’re fully conscious, but there’s a tension there that feels just as thick. Maybe it’s because they’re talking about it again, or maybe it’s just in Baekhyun’s mind. But something about the color in his cheeks tells him that it’s not one sided.

“I can take care of myself, thanks.” Baekhyun growls, picking at his thumb nails uncomfortably.

Chanyeol releases his hands and swings them down to rest on Baekhyun’s hips, startling the man. He tries instinctively to push away but stills when Chanyeol’s face comes in closer to his ear. He feels the first breath against his ear and exhales on a shutter.

“What did you think about?”

Baekhyun’s heart trembles in his chest, his composure starts to slip and he closes his eyes, breathing in that familiar smell.

“That’s none of your business.”

“Was it in you your room? In the shower? At school?”

Baekhyun shoved his shoulder and Chanyeol stumbles, coming back in closer, forcing Baekhyun’s thoughts to slip away, replaced with the loud, hard beat of his heart in his ears.

“That’s… that’s not…”

“Were you thinking about us? In the dark… and me…?”

He can feel the warmth of the man’s body pressing closer and Chanyeol’s nose outlines the soft skin on his ear. He shudders and swallows hard, feeling suddenly hotter, unable to pass that off on the weather any more, he looks up, gasping for breath and Chanyeol takes the opportunity to bring his face up, righting his spine to look down at him. His face close enough to touch, Baekhyun looks into his dark round eyes.

“Why are you doing this?” He breathes.

Chanyeol smiles but his eyes are sad.

“Just answer the questions.”

Baekhyun hesitates.

“Yes.”

“Yes, you thought of us?” Chanyeol presses.

“Yes.”

“Yes you thought of me?”

“Yes.” Baekhyun closes his eyes and pouts at his helplessness.

“Where?” Chanyeol presses, voice thicker now.

Baekhyun shakes his head lightly and Chanyeol comes in closer, pressing his lips to Baekhyun’s to a moment. Baekhyun’s eyes flutter open and he stares up at Chanyeol.

“My room.”

The man’s brows furrow and his expression is especially tortured by this. But instead of getting sick and pushing Baekhyun away he comes in for another kiss.

“That’s so freaking cute.” He breathes.

Baekhyun’s fingers clutch onto Chanyeol’s lean biceps and he searches for something in Chanyeol’s eyes to help him be strong. Any small trace of doubt or humor or something, literally anything, to give him strength.

“On my bed.” Baekhyun adds.

Chanyeol lowers his mouth as if to kiss and Baekhyun stops him.

“In my Adventure time pajamas.”

“What are you doing?”

Baekhyun shrugs.

“I don’t know. I just wanted to paint the picture for you. It wasn’t sexy, just so you know.” Baekhyun swallows a lump in his throat and feels for a moment that he might could stabilize himself, but Chanyeol hooks his finger under Baekhyun’s chin with a smirk.

“Did you cum?”

“What?”

Chanyeol drags his nose against Baekhyun’s cheek as he whispers the question once more annunciating each word this time. “Did. You. Cum.”

“Yes, of course, Chanyeol. I’ve been masterbating a long time, I’m not new to it.” Baekhyun seems a lot more flustered by the question than he intended and feels embarrassed to say it aloud.

“But you’ve never thought of me before, right?”

“Well, no I don’t usually think of real people… just like… fictional characters.”

Chanyeol wraps an arm around Baekhyun and pulls him him, reaching behind him and opening the door to his backseat and hauls him into the car.

“This is kidnapping.” Baekhyun’s says breathlessly, matter-of-factly.

“Relax, sweetie, we’re not leaving the parking lot.”

“I am not having sex with you in the back seat!” Baekhyun yelps, scrambling to get away.

Chanyeol gets very still and smiles down at the struggling man.

“Who said anything about having sex?”

Baekhyun’s struggling intensifies with his blush and Chanyeol starts to laugh. He lets go of Baekhyun and sits with his back to the car door looking across the seat at Baekhyun, long leg bent between them.

“Why else would you want to get back here?”

“Well, Baekhyun. You were talking about thinking about me while slamming the hammer and it made my friend steel up. Would you rather us stand nose to nose in the parking lot with my raging hard on? Because I can do that.”

“So, what, do you want me to repeat what I did before?” He asks with a roll of the eyes.

“In my car?” Chanyeol barks a laugh. “No. Despite what you think, I’m not going to have sex with you in my car or force you to give me a handy… But I might kiss you again.”

Baekhyun studies him a moment before sulking in the seat.

“ I guess kissing is fine.”

“You guess that?” Chanyeol teases, grinning from ear to ear.

“Shut up!” Baekhyun snaps as pouts.

Chanyeol crooks a finger at Baekhyun and the man obliges by getting closer. He crawls forward and Chanyeol doesn’t hesitate to lean in, pulling Baekhyun by the shirt collar until he can taste those tiny pink lips. Though his kisses moments ago had been chaste, in the safety of Chanyeol’s backseat with tinted windows, he starts to linger on each soft touch. Chanyeol’s mouth is hot and wet with his need to kiss Baekhyun again and for a moment fear flickers through him. What the hell is he doing in the back seat of a car making out during a pep rally, and what the hell is doing with Park again?

Chanyeol shifts, back against the seat, pulling Baekhyun into his lap so that he can steer Baekhyun’s body closer to his once more and they both start to feel the sting of the heat in the backseat of the car. He grins contently, feeling Chanyeol’s hardened appreciation beneath him coupled with his panted hot breaths between kisses.

“Maybe we should slow down.” Baekhyun whispers as the man starts a path of suckling kisses down his throat, hot tongue burning his skin in fiery circles.

“Slow what?” Chanyeol breathes between kisses.

“Slow… everything…” Baekhyun mumbles.

Chanyeol pulls away and leans his head back on the headrest, chest moving fast.

“Okay. Sure. Uh…” He clears his throat and closes his eyes. “oh my god it’s hot in here…” He breathes.

He reaches for his shirt and pulls it off wordlessly, leaving Baekhyun to marvel at his physique. An unfair move, but an intimidating one too.Though Chanyeol’s body wasn’t hard a rock, he had defined muscles, and lines on his stomach where an unflexed break up showed his abs. Baekhyun had paler skin and no muscle tone to speak of unless lifting boxes of books at the book drive or carrying his kid cousin around on the weekend counts for something. Baekhyun reaches for Chanyeol’s skin hesitantly, tracing the lines of his collarbones, artfully crafted. Chanyeol lets him spend a moment adjusting and watches the man. His tiny, delicate finger tips move down the front of Chanyeol’s body and his mouth opens slowly with the touch. He shifts uncomfortably and Baekhyun realizes that his erection must be strained under the tight pull his denim. He starts to unbutton the man’s jeans and looks up at Chanyeol as his fingers move to free the man’s hard extension.

Feverishly, tortured, Chanyeol finally has had enough, reaching for the back of Baekhyun’s head, he pulls him back in and steals another kiss. With the jock’s tongue sliding against his, fingers fumbling to pull forth another man’s cock, Baekhyun realizes that this may be the best thing he’s done yet in high school. The adrenaline, the heat, the sense of desperateness and helplessness. And somewhere deep down he knows it’s all wrong. Because Chanyeol is going to stay here, and he’s going to go off to college in another state.

But right now, he purrs into the man’s sacred touch, knowing this is a rare opportunity be touched and to be able to palm over such a work of art. Free between them, Baekhyun finally looks down at the length and thinks it looks exactly how he remembered in the dark. His tongue peeks out of his mouth for a moment as he concentrates on what he’s down, slowly starting to move.

“Holy fuck.” Chanyeol breathes and Baekhyun looks up nervously.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Who are you?”

“I…”

Baekhyun starts to retreat and the man surprises him by replacing his hand around his fingers and stroking down on the length together for a moment, a completely new sensation for Baekhyun, feeling the strength that he applied.

“I don’t even know who you are. Standing five foot nothing in the school courtyard looking so innocent, and then getting in my backseat and turning into a damn porn star.”

Baekhyun’s cheeks flush but he smiles this time, really smiles and starts to move his hand independently of Chanyeol again, leaving the man lean his head back against the seat. He lifts one arm to cover his eyes and Baekhyun watches the impressive sinew of muscle in his arm and debates whether or not finding his under arm hair attractive is considered a kink.

“You’re so fucking hot sometimes.” He mumbles, but doesn’t return his gaze.

Baekhyun’s thumb slides down the length of the base of his cock, feeling the soft skin and the ridge of veins beneath his skin. He wants to be the one that initiates the next kiss so he thinks about this as he works until the wet sounds start to distract him. The beaded pearl atop his wet swollen head has fallen aside and now his leaking member just glistens in the dim light as Chanyeol’s hips start to adjust beneath Baekhyun. Maybe it’s man’s intuition but he feels like Chanyeol might be closer so he starts to move a little faster and Chanyeol jolts forward.

“Stop!”

Baekhyun jumps back, letting go and putting his hands in the air.

“S--sorry!”

“No… I just… I don’t want another repeat of last time.”

Baekhyun wilts. Everything starts to blur and embarrassment stings his eyes in tears.

“Sorry.”

“No, its cool…” Chanyeol breathes. “Nobody saw anything, because i had on a white shirt but my jeans looked a little starchy.” He laughs.

Baekhyun’s brows knit together.

“What?”

“I don’t want to walk around the rest of the day with cum stained jeans.”

It suddenly starts to click for Baekhyun and he gets off of Chanyeol’s lap and sits next to him on the bench seat.

“So… you ran away... “

Chanyeol awkwardly reaches for his member and takes a deep breath. But feeling less drained at the possibility of being a screw up, Baekhyun’s eagerness to be the best gets the best of him. He grabs Chanyeol’s hand and moves it away leaning in closer. Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun’s forearm and tries to pull him away.

“What are you doing?” He yelps.

“I’m finishing what I started.” He says.

“You--”

“Do you want me to stop?”

Chanyeol stares at him for a moment, their eyes still locked together, Baekhyun lowers himself, glancing over at the wet head and taking one measured lick. The athlete seems to shudder under the swipe of his tongue with a long hiss.

“What the hell are you?” He groans and Baekhyun starts to wet his lips and try again. At first he realizes that never having gotten head, he knows absolutely nothing about giving it. He puts his mouth around the man’s length first and feels the dry skin and instinctively know he needs lubrication. So he sucks lightly and pops it back out, dragging his tongue over the man’s shaft before coming back down on him with more ease this time. Then he adjusts the position, making sure he’s comfortable as he pulls the man’s cock into his mouth, and surprisingly, he doesn’t mind the taste or the texture. He doesn’t mind at all. So he does what he thinks he might like. He starts to bob his head, pulling out and coming back down, knowing when he hollows his cheeks on a hard inhale through his nose that he was doing something right. Chanyeol’s hand comes to the back of his head, hard, and he groans.

“Oh my god, Baekhyun.”

He takes that encouragement to breath in again before going for another round, and it didn’t take long, stroking his tongue against the man’s length before he started to push down on Baekhyun’s head and lift his hips slightly. For one moment, Baekhyun panicked, thinking he couldn’t breath, and then he used his nose and suddenly felt the hot spill of Chanyeol’s desire in his mouth. It tastes bitter, but not disgusting, and there’s almost a tingle to it. He swallows and pulls back, looking at Chanyeol as he wipes the corners of his mouth.

Chanyeol’s expression is blank, his eyes are half closed and his mouth is open, and Baekhyun secretly hopes that nobody else gets to see this expression.

“I know I said I wasn’t going to have sex with you in my backseat… But I could fucking tear into you right now.” Chanyeol breathes.

“Well, right now, you can’t because I took care of that boner problem you had, you’re welcome by the way, again.”

Chanyeol crawls towards Baekhyun and grins.

“That smart mouth of yours doesn’t make me want you less.”

Baekhyun feels the man come in closer and his hand spreads his thighs apart. Sweat drips down on his face as Chanyeol lies him down.

“I could fuck you right now. It wouldn’t take long to get hard again when you’re looking so hot beneath me.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes and tries to keep his heart in check as Chanyeol’s hand travels up his thigh and dangerously close to his own, swollen member.

“You’re blushing again.” He says. “How can you go from sucking me off to blushing so fast?”

“Bite me.” Baekhyun growls, meaning it differently than it came out in their situation.

“Whatever you want, cupcake.” He replies, having caught Baekhyun’s meaning but deciding to be an ass.

He swoops down and latches onto Baekhyun’s throat in a hard bite and then softens it in a sucking kiss that he knew would bruise. When he starts to lift Baekhyun’s shirt though, the man quickly protests.

“Stop!” He yelps.

“Why?”

“It’s just… don’t. You really don’t want to.”

Baekhyun releases his hand and closes his eyes as Chanyeol lifts the shirt anyways. There is a moment of silent reverence as Chanyeol stares at the exposed flesh.

“Jesus christ…” He swears softly. “Your skin is perfect.”

Baekhyun opens his eyes confused.

“It’s smooth and white, and these perfect fucking nip--” His words cut off and he goes in to swipe his tongue over one puckered nipple and Baekhyun arches into the touch. Chanyeol takes that time to reach down and pull Baekhyun free handling the man’s erection with care, like everything else about Baekhyun. Baekhyun, realizing that the man treats him like he’s made of glass, reaches down and mimics Chanyeol pressing his small hand in against Chanyeol’s to guide him with the right strength.

“This time, I’m not going to leave you hanging, baby. I’m going to finish you off.” Chanyeol breathes with determination.

Baekhyun smiles to himself, thinking that Chanyeol has his cute points too. He starts to whisper small encouragements, not as loud as Baekhyun, but softer.

“A little harder…” or “Ah… slow down just a sec.” and Chanyeol would listen. He followed directions well and when Baekhyun came, he stared down at it like it was a work of art until Baekhyun embarrassedly pulled himself up and cleaned himself up with his shirt tail.

He looks over and catches Chanyeol licking the length of one of his long fingers and feels embarrassed again.

“Alright. Well. You came, I came, we cleared the misunderstanding. Is there anything else? I think we got the closure we need.” Baekhyun says.

“No, I think I need more closure. My place tonight or yours?”

Baekhyun glares at the man but he just grins in reply.

“Chanyeol, be serious.”

His grin falters and he pulls Baekhyun in against him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him securely in place.

“I know that I’m not great at handjobs, and maybe I’m not a good kisser or up to your porn star level… but… I’m not joking. I want to spend more time with you. Kissing or no kissing. I’ll just talk about cartoon network and stuff if you want. I don’t mind. I just… I want you.”

He made a pinky promise to call later and Baekhyun had no doubt in his mind that he would hear from the jock. And even when the weekend was almost over and he was up early for student council funded events on Sunday morning with still no call, he gave Chanyeol the benefit of the doubt. And walking into school Monday morning for their last week of classes, he planned to go Chanyeol’s locker and confront him. He wanted to talk about it and let him know if friendship is all he wants, then friendship is fine. He didn’t need the extra bits. Just friendship would be fine.

But by monday morning, Chanyeol was dating Krystal again and there was no recovering from that.

After graduation, things continued to go down hill, his friends left, Baekhyun left, Krystal left, his social life disappeared and things that once seemed so stupid suddenly sounded like fun. An irrational laziness started to come over him that he blamed on the strong Florida sun, but he knew it was the full onset of his apathy. This was bound to happen, and once it did, he sensed that he would drown under the weight of his indecisive decision making.

He floated through the days where things like showers and eating became optional, and suddenly he was sporting more than 5 o'clock shadow on stubbled cheeks and his white shirts were staining where he had let it soak in his sweat. It was about the time that the first college break sent his friends home for thanksgiving break that he really started to notice how far off the radar he had slipped.

It was Krystal who showed up on his doorstep first. Wearing a fall sweater that was thicker than needed in mild Florida fall weather with denim shorts and brown UGG boots, she looked like a sorority girl even before he saw her sorority pin tagged to her shoulder.

“Hey, babe.” She says softly.

Where the babe is coming from after nearly a semester a part, he wouldn’t be able to explain.

“What are you doing here?”

She fidgets, getting on her tip toes and then rounding back onto her heels.

“I forgot how tall you are.” She says.

“Yeah, you forgot a lot of things when you let.”

“You look like a man now with this beard and all this crazy hair.” She tries to get on her toes and swipe a hand through his hair but he ducks away.

“Sorry.” She steps back and takes a deep breath. “It’s just we’re all worried about you. You haven’t been in contact with anyone though… There were all these rumors going around that you had moved or that you were hurt or something and... “

“And you still didn’t call? You thought I might be hurt and stuck at home, and that still didn’t provoke a single phone call?”

“University is busy, okay? You wouldn’t understand.” She snaps and Chanyeol stares at her for a long moment before slowly starting to close the door on her.

“Wait! Chanyeol, come on! Wait!”

He holds still for long enough to look down at her and see sincere concern on her pretty features. He opens up the door and lets her into his parents house and she looks startled by the difference. The usually clean living room is now cluttered with Chanyeol’s hermit lifestyle. Remnants of half eaten snacks lying around, open magazines on the table and rings on the coffee table of dried brown sodas.

“Chanyeol… you can’t live like this. You can’t be this way… It’s not you.”

Chanyeol plops on the couch, legs spread, head flopping back on the couch.

“Honestly, Krys. You don’t know me and you never really did.”

“You can say hurtful things to me all you want, but I’m a nice person. I’m the one who kept my mouth shut about your little secret.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes and looks at her like she’s lost her mind.

“So tell everyone, Krystal. If it’s such a chore for you, tell everyone. I had a fling with someone else.”

“No, of course not. It would make me look bad. You sleeping with guys makes me look like a beard, you sick pervert.”

“I’m a pervert for liking guys?”

She stamps her foot.

“No! You’re a pervert for liking girls and guys! Anything that moves, you just like it!”

“That’s not a bad thing, Krystal.” Chanyeol says rationally. “It means that I’m open to anyone who has a good heart, regardless of gender.”

She rolls her eyes.

“I was your girlfriend for long enough to know that you’re not that caring.”

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything more, knowing that anything else that comes from his mouth now would only hurt her. And part of him, wants to hurt her. He wants her to cry and run out the door and never come back. That way, she’ll never know the truth. And the truth is that she’s not that important to him, and never was. She would never know him in all the months they dated the way that their student body president knew him in their less than 48 hour rendezvous. Rationally, he knows he’s overly romanticized it all by now. He’s hanging on to memories of a man that has long moved on from him and Chanyeol has become a homebody who hangs out with other losers in town with no life goals, drinking beer down by the river and listening to country music. He’s become a shell of the man he once was, no longer chiseled to perfection or athletic. He’s now just a boy left behind and Krystal, smelling like Chanel Chance perfume, hair and makeup perfectly done is just pulling herself under by associating with him.

“Why are you here? It won’t hurt your reputation any to just move on, Krys. It’ll be just the way I always knew it would be. You’ll go off to school and move on and find someone better. I’ll stay behind and be the guy you used to date.” He grabs a bottle of Mountain dew from the table and starts to open it but Krystal reaches over and snatches it away.

“Do you hear yourself? You’d never know you used to be popular. And that’s not even important, because you’ve gained the freshman fifteen by simply not moving off your ass. Chanyeol, you need help. Get a job or something.”

“If I wanted to to take life coaching, I promise I wouldn’t be asking a social climbing sorostitute like you.” He snaps.

“Not everyone in a sorority sleeps around.” She says defensively, getting to her feet and walking to the door.

“You changed your lip gloss. It doesn’t smell like fruit anymore.” He says.

“You know, you don’t know me either, Chanyeol. But I genuinely cared about you today. I came to try to help. You can slap my hand away. But you can’t live off your parents for the rest of your life.” She says, one hand on the door. “And I know that you know that at least.”

He doesn’t say goodbye as she slams the door on the way out. He doesn’t move at all, he stay slumped far into the couch cushions that are starting to shape to his weight.

Byun Baekhyun scrapes his mechanical pencil behind his ear and collapses on a notebook.

“What is it now?”

He looks up at Wendy across the university library table and shakes his head.

“I should have never come to this place.” He groans into his sweatshirt sleeve.

“Not this again, can you please pull yourself together? You made it into Duke, that’s impressive. You’re not dropping out because it’s hard.”

Baekhyun draws tiny circles in the table top with his pencil and then erases it with the crappy mechanical pencil eraser that smears the lead across the white top. It’s not that it’s too hard. It’s that he has no direction. He wanted to be a writer but he ended up going into an anthropology track that he kind of resents now.

“What if I came to the wrong school? What if this is the wrong degree? What if I’m unemployed or worse, what if I’m gainfully employed with a job I hate?”

“You’re overthinking everything because you’re mad that you’re studying for exams still when tomorrow afternoon you’ll be on break. You have one more exam. You can make it.” She chides with her no nonsense response and let’s it go.

“You’re probably right.”

But she isn’t. She’s right that it’s the post-exam fever hitting him, trying to get through his last exam before a 5 day weekend masked as a break. But there’s the sense of worthlessness that comes from finishing those exams where he’s staring at the paper, filled out perfectly and he’s asking himself why he’s even wasting his time. Writing is what he wants to do. Nothing solidified it more than coming to college and flawlessly writing his papers into a higher GPA where his test scores may falter. He’s doing fine in school, but high school is joke compared to Duke. This level is nothing close to what he was prepared for, and he wonders half heartedly, if it’s that classes are just harder or if he’s putting in less effort.

Back in his dorm that night he strips off the thick black hoodie and pulls on a white tee with a familiar grey zip up hooded sweater. He holds the fabric to his nose and breathes in fabric softener and his own smell. Nothing lingers there of the previous owner now but habit keeps him wearing the sweater. Thanksgiving break means going home at last and nearly half a year has passed since their last meeting, and Baekhyun has no desire to speak to him again. But he still wants to see him. He wants to at least look at him and see him and he chides himself for thinking that. But he can’t help how he feels. He’s a slave to his own perverse desires.

His cell phone chirps at him and he pulls himself from his despicable thoughts to check the messages flooding in. High school friends are planning a get together and Sehun is speed texting as usual. He’s excited to go home and see his friends, but there’s still a part of him that harbors a fear that he’s going to fall right back where he was when he sees the tall athlete strutting around with his friends. And Baekhyun is no place to show off. He’s ostracized himself online, his huge following of fanfic friends have lost their faith in him from months of inactivity and other people have replaced him. The world keeps going and he gets left behind.

He lies in his bed, pretending to sleep until it finally takes hold of his worried thoughts and he slips from his worries for just a few hours and lets blissful silence take over his mind.

He flies home the next afternoon and his car is waiting at the airport. His parent dropped it off that morning and thankfully he’d remembered to bring his keys home with him. He hadn’t expected a warm reunion where they both held their arms open for him. He knew they would give him hugs and tease him about being their little big man at school but he knows that there’s nothing  warm and fuzzy about the reunion. The house is empty, no cars in the car port but his own.

“I’m home.” He says into the empty house.

What a waste of energy. He calls Sehun and makes promises to meet later, setting his alarm on his phone. Safe in his own dusty bedroom, Baekhyun tries to take a nap but being in this room brings back memories.

“Whatever you want to say, I don’t want to hear it!”

Chanyeol had pushed into the room, disregarding his strong protests.

“You have to hear me out! I’m doing this for you!”

Baekhyun pulls open the door and Chanyeol steps through while he can.

“You’re doing this for me? Are you high? You’re dating your ex-girlfriend again!”

Chanyeol reaches for Baekhyun but he flinches away.

“Do not fucking touch me!”

“Byun Baek, could you stop being defensive for five minutes and just hear me ou--”

“No! I will not! I won’t listen to anything you have to say! You’re just going to spew more lies and then it’s going to be a repeat of the same situation.”

“She fucking saw you! She saw me! She saw us together in front of my car, in my car, I don’t know. She saw us. She said it would make her look like a beard and her whole high school career would be over!”

Baekhyun stumbles back and plops on his bed and Chanyeol comes in before him and gets to his knees on the floor.

“Baekhyun, I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t leave you alone.”

Chanyeol wants to try to make this painless but he realizes that he’s not getting anywhere, he’s obsessed at this point, and both of them can feel it.

“Chanyeol, I am not going to be your dirty little secret. You can’t be at school all over another person and then make out with me in public. I don’t share.”

“Share? We’re not dating.” Chanyeol says point blank.

“Okay. So that clears that up. I don’t sleep with people I’m not dating. So either way, we’re done.”

He seems to regret the statement but he doesn’t take it back.

“Were you saying just now that you can’t do this because we’re not dating?”

Baekhyun stares at him for a long moment and then nods his head.

“Yeah, Chanyeol. I guess that’s what I’m saying.”

Chanyeol smiles softly.

“So you want me to break up with her and date you instead?”

He nods his head but his face doesn’t relax any. He looks completely set in his expression.

“I can’t do that, Baekhyun. I can’t do it. There’s a week left.”

“Exactly! There’s only a week! Who the fuck cares what these people think of you?”

Chanyeol reaches for Baekhyun’s hands.

“I can’t just throw her high school career away too.”

“What am I to you?”

Baekhyun lets go of Chanyeol and pushes his shoulders.

“Leave. Please. Leave.” He says with some resolution. “You can’t give me what I want, and honestly, there’s nothing here worth go through all of this mess over. This is going to blow up in our faces. It’ll be a huge deal at school, a huge deal around town, a huge deal with parents and for what? There’s less than a week until I’m gone to North Carolina again at Duke and you’re here. You clearly care about her anyway.”

Chanyeol stands up and starts to pace.

“That’s the problem! Baekhyun, you just don’t get it! I’m a terrible person! I never cared about her the way you think. She made my life easier. I was using her to fend off rumors.”

“Are you trying to win me over by talking about how much of a jerk you are? Because that’s not a good approach.”

“I’m not trying to win you over, Baekhyun. You’re right. You’re right about everything, you’re smarter than me, so you see things clearly. I’m not… I’m just not as smart as I think. I’m not thinking clearly. I don’t want to throw all of this away. This is all I have… I just… I wanted you to know that I wasn’t lying.”

“Lying about what? It’s not like you ever said you’re in love with me or anything. You never even said you wanted to be with me. You’re fine, Chanyeol. You can leave with a clear conscience.” Baekhyun  whispers.

“You don’t think this was just some meaningless thing I did to pass time, do you?”

“Well then, what was it, Chanyeol?”

He bites his lip and shakes his head with a shrug and leaves the room.

Chanyeol looked like he wanted to stay and talk, but instead he walked out the door of this very room and the two never spoke again. Thinking about that now, Baekhyun slips into sleep for a few hours, restless and uncomfortable in the bed that he once sought shelter in for over a decade.

“You want a beer?”

Chanyeol gives a quick nod and reaches for the iced bottle thrown over to him, unscrewing the bottle cap with ease and tossing it in the cooler. Shindong sits with his feet up on the fish cooler, fishing line in the water, waiting for a catch that seldom comes.

“How’s it hanging, man?” He asks, looking up at the towering man at his side.

“Same shit, different day.”

“I hear that.”

Shindong had lost a ton of weight in the first month after graduation, he joined a fraternity at a local state school and then immediately gotten a girl knocked up. He moved back to his hometown with her, dropped out of school, and now he works at the old mill. He hadn’t really judged Chanyeol when they ran into one another at the corner store. He just kind of gave him a fist bump and they moved on from there. They didn’t really talk much, just stood around and drank beers by the river. Sometimes, after a bad day, he would open up. But Chanyeol did very little talking. He wore his worn down baseball cap with the frayed edges and stood in holey jeans with a beer in hand, taking a seat in the grass when he got tired, watching the water and the trees across the river. Sometimes a runner would job by on the other side, and sometimes a car would pass behind them, but for the most part, there was nobody around this part of town.

He had come here after he saw Krystal, and Shindong listened patiently to the story. He hesitated a moment before he spoke of the situation only to find Shindong already knew.

“You mean the thing with you and Baekhyun? Yeah, yeah, we all knew. Kris told us. He said he saw you two in the parking lot. He’s the one who told Krystal to come out and see for herself. I think she got a little more of an eye full than Kris though.” Shindong snickers.

“Oh. So you guys all knew about the… whatever it was?”

“Yeah, and then you were pretty obvious about it. You were hardly subtle about followin’ the kid around the school. But it was only a few weeks so we just figured you weren’t ready to come out. We just, you know… stopped changing around you because, no offense but that’s gross.”

That was offensive but he doesn’t correct that point.

“It was actually only a week. And then, you know, graduation was the last I saw him. He didn’t waste time moving on.” Chanyeol says.

“Wait, so that squirt is the one that shut you down? Not the other way around?”

Chanyeol shoots him a lethal look and he tries to quiet down his chuckles.

“Shut up.”

“No, no, it’s only funny because we all thought you were holding out on him but it was the other way around.”

“You’re not too big for me to take you.”

“Oh, shut up, Park. You’re not as lean as you were back then.”

That was probably true and he had no intention of fighting Shindong. He should have been more surprised by it, should have been the one to tell them like a man.

“I gotta give it to the little queer, he has more balls than I thought. At least you knew your place. If you had come out then, we’d have had to kick you out. Once graduation hit though, eh, do what the fuck you want. We all made bad decisions in school. Kris got arrested again, did you hear? Paraphernalia. How many times did we tell that idiot not to ride around with that shit in the car.”

Shindong has gone off on one of his usual monologues and Chanyeol just listens, seldom agreeing with anything. He just listens to him talk, and that may be why they were such good friends these days. Because though they didn’t see eye to eye on most things, Chanyeol didn’t want to talk, and Shindong didn’t want to listen.

“So you’re a gay now?” Shindong asks.

“Not that I’m aware of.” Chanyeol says casually, taking a swig of beer.

“You just liked ladyhips, huh? Yeah, that boy always did have a nice ass. He looked like a girl anyways. Was he good?”

“I wouldn’t know, we never slept together.”

Shindong turns all the way around.

“Say what?”

Chanyeol shrugs.

“We didn’t. We just fooled around twice. That’s it.”

And a slew of curses later, Shindong had out his phone and was texting this information to everyone and his mother.

Chanyeol sees headlights pull up and Minseok hops out of his jeep in his Bama hoodie, wearing his school on his clothing like a badge of honor.

“Hey losers! Got one of those for me?” He calls, sauntering over with a grin.

“Hey shortie, come on down!” Shindong calls and Minseok comes in to clasp hands and pull in for a shoulder bump with Chanyeol.

“Nice beard, hobo.”

“Nice top-knot, hipster.” He replies with a smile.

“Did you hear Kris went to jail again? He’s gotta kick the habit, man. Smoking a joint at a party is one thing but sucking the glass ganja in a car in broad daylight is just stupid. Who hot boxes in their school parking lot anyway?”

“Yeah, we were just talking about that man, and did you know that Park here never boned the President?”

Minseok shows adequate surprise too and looks between them.

“What?”

“No! They never boned! Apparently the runt didn’t want Park as much as he thought!”

“Pipsqueak Pres had balls! Who knew?”

Chanyeol waits for the subject to change before he makes any further comments. Eventually most of the gang comes around and Shindong swaps the fishing line for firewood and they set up their bonfire and take turns spraying themselves down with bug repellant. And Chanyeol thinks that this is the most fun he’s had since high school ended and wonders in vain if he’s going to be that person that never moves past high school.

“The guys are by the river?”

Baekhyun looks over as Krystal walks in with a few of the other former cheerleaders.

“Yeah, Chanyeol just invited us to join but he said we’ll get eaten alive by the mosquitos.”

The girls snicker and discuss whether to go, talking about spray tans and other unimportant things that have no real bearing on decision making. For a second Baekhyun realizes that he’s irrational, but he has the sudden desire to drive out and see him. He wants to see Park, and make sure he’s okay.

“Baekhyun!” Sehun calls.

“Huh? What?” Baekhyun makes eye contact with Krystal for a moment before turning back to Sehun and the gang.

“We asked if that movie seemed like a rip off of anything you know?”

Baekhyun laughs awkwardly and then fidgets.

“Yeah, I guess it reminded me a little of the premise of Regular show but with humans.”

“See! See I told you!” Kyungsoo shouts, pounding his fists on the table.

“What, is that what you thought too?” Baekhyun asks with a grin.

The ruckus laughter carries on for a moment more before it end abruptly and the table goes silent. Baekhyun stops smiling too, feeling a presence behind him, and for one heart-stopping moment, he thinks it could be Chanyeol. He takes a deep breath, and hesitantly turns, prepared for the worst. But it’s not Chanyeol standing there. It’s his girlfriend.

“Can we talk?”

Sehun snorts.

“Well hello to you to.” He says with a glare, and Baekhyun elbows him to be quiet.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. Long time, no see, but it’s just… this is important.”

Krystal seems to be very conscious of being seen with him so he reluctantly agrees and stands, knowing that they shouldn’t be seen talking together inside like this.

“Let’s step outside.” He says quietly and she agrees with some color returning to her face. “How have you been Krystal Jung?”

She steps out into the open afternoon air, hot and muggy still in the late fall.

“I’m great! I love my school and I rushed for a sorority so things are looking up for me.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You were always very active in community events so I’m sure you’re a no brainer pick for them.” He compliments matter of factly. “How can I help you?”

She stares at him for a long moment before smiling weakly.

“I guess… I never thought about the fact that you were student body president until just now. You always just seemed like the smart kid running around doing things like a chicken with his head cut off. But you knew a lot about people… you paid attention…”

“Well, I’m just a common university student now.” He mumbles, clearing his throat awkwardly. “So what’s up?”

“Are you at Wofford? Or… i hear you went to school low country carolinas or something?”

“No, No, I’m… I’m at Duke. North Carolina.” He says realizing that she’s prolonging the discussion with blathering on.

He doesn’t want to rush her, but he doesn’t want to stir up old high school rumor mill troubles being seen with her either. He watches her fidget with her long hair for a few minutes, twisting it around her finger.

“Listen… um… Chanyeol isn’t doing so hot.”

His stomach drops and he looks at her, feeling suddenly drained of all emotion. His skin prickles cool despite the heat and he clears his throat.

“Huh?”

“He um… He’s not doing great. He’s kind of in this… funk. He won’t get a job, he won’t go to school, he rarely leaves his mom’s house unless he’s going to drink beer by the river, he won’t socialize, he won’t shave, hell apparently he’s hardly showering. I just… you know, you really had an impact on him and I was hoping that if anyone could snap him out of it… maybe it’s you.”

Baekhyun shakes his head and starts to walk away.

“You were wrong. I can’t help.”

“Baekhyun! Please!” She shouts. “Please, go to him. Please, just talk to him. He’s… he’s not well. If he keeps this up, he’s… he’s throwing his life away.”

“Look, Krystal. I think it’s nice what you’re doing for your boyfriend but I’m not the one who can help you with this. I’m sorry, I really am.”

She slams her fist down on top of the newspaper dispenser at her side and he stops in his tracks again.

“I know about you two.” She breathes. “I saw you two. So I know. And let me fill you in on a little secret, Presidenté, Chanyeol and I never got as far as you two did. He and I were a sham and I’m pretty sure everyone knew it but me. He never once looked at me the way he used to pine away after you after he and I got back together. So don’t try to act coy like you don’t know what you were to him.” She hisses.

“I was not what you’re thinking, that’s for sure.” Baekhyun steps up to her and pats her shoulder. “He may not have wanted you like he told me he wanted me, but I promise, you won in the end. Because he turned me down to be with you. So you won, sugar pop. Congrats.”

Krystal’s brows knit together and she crosses her arms over her chest.

“What do you mean he chose me?”

“I told him that I wouldn’t be his secret side pet. That he can choose you or me. And he chose you. So really, I’m the one who should be salty. I can’t help you or Park.”

Krystal pulls out her phone and holds up a finger.

“Wait, wait, wait, I’m confused. I just got a text saying Chanyeol just admitted by the river that he wanted to get with you but you turned him down and wouldn’t sleep with him, but you’re saying that he turned you down, so which is it?” She asks scrolling through her texts. “Yeah, right here. 30 minutes ago I got a text from Shindong saying ‘Park Chanyeol didn’t have his cherry popped by little Byun Valedictorian, the pipsqueak turned him down!’ Look!”

She holds the phone up and Baekhyun shrugs.

“I did. I turned him down. I wasn’t about to sleep with someone who chose his ex-girlfriend over me.”

She stares at him a moment impressed before putting her phone back in her pocket.

“Tough guy. Interesting. The point is, I like Chanyeol. Okay? I’ve always liked him. He goes with the flow and does stupid things, but I don’t want his life to suck. So… can you please talk to him?”

And he wanted to. He really did. He wanted to talk to Park Chanyeol more than he would admit. But there’s nothing he can do for him now.

“We’re just… we’re not even friends. I haven’t said a word to him since i kicked him out of my house senior year. I wish I could help… but I can’t. Happy Thanksgiving, Krystal. It was really good seeing you.” He says and goes back inside.

He grabs his keys and coat with promises to hang out again and bolts from the restaurant before she can further pursue the matter. He swings by the house and grabs what he needs before getting back in his car to drive to the river. He can see the campfire on the other side and turns off his headlights before turning towards them. Slowly, carefully, he makes his way towards a picnic table and parks there. He can hear the laughter now and the cheers of drunken chaos. With his binoculars he carefully examines the group. After a few rounds he decides that Park must have gone home, until one of the taller men in the group catches his eye. The guy has facial hair and long shaggy hair beneath a baseball cap that flipped his hair up. He doubts it for just a moment before realizing that the man has the same face.

He does look different. He does look like he needs help.

“You’re so… I can’t believe you changed so much…” He breathes.

Some strange part of him found the man just as attractive but he knows better than to try and talk to him. It would just end in the same resolution. Baekhyun heartbroken going off to another state and Chanyeol left behind, still lost. His heart does the same thing too, stumbling around as he watches the man, and those distant memories of their long talk, their kisses, the way they looked at one another comes back. Suddenly it’s all too real and he’s hopping back into his car, and turning around. He head back to his house and decides that he’s never looking back. He can’t be trusted to make rational decisions about Park Chanyeol. He’ll for sure choose wrong every time.

“Sorry again about the other day.” Chanyeol mumbles, embarrassed and humbled.

Krystal adjusts her white Ralph Lauren button down shirt and nods her head.

“It’s fine. Listen… I did it because I care.” Her fingers grab hold of his arm and she looks him in the eyes as she says, purposefully; “I’m worried about you.”

He ruffles her hair and immediately regrets it, knowing he was thinking about Baekhyun when he did it.

“S--sorry.” He whispers as she gets mad, fixing her long hair.

“I tried to get him to come talk to you because clearly, me talking to you didn’t work, but he refused to even get near you. So, what exactly did happen between you two last spring?”

Chanyeol plops down on the couch and clears his throat.

“Who?”

Krystal sits next to him, folding her leg beneath her.

“Byun Baekhyun, our sassy student body pres.”

Chanyeol looks at her so quickly, she thinks she hears something pop in his neck.

“When did you see him? Where? You talked to him? About me?”

She lets her lips curl in the corners and pokes at his chest with a long pastel pink pointed nail.

“You like him, don’t you?”

“No, I was just asking questions. Nevermind, okay? Just forget it.” She grabs his shirt and pulls him back down as he starts to try to stand up and skulk away.

“Calm down, lover boy. I talked to him and he’s doing fine. He looks the same but maybe thinner? Was he always snippy?”

Chanyeol smiles, relaxing against the back of the couch again.

“Yeah… yeah, he was kind of a brat back then too.”

“Back then? It hasn’t even been a year, you pathetic cheeseball.” She teases again, picking up an opened bag of white cheddar popcorn and throwing a piece at him before digging in.

He picks it off his shirt and eats it, closing his eyes as he tries to picture him.

“He said that he gave you an ultimatum and you chose me. Is that true?” She asks.

He looks over at her without lifting his head from the couch. Her mouth is pulled into a tight line as she waits.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s true.”

She throws another piece of popcorn at his head.

“Idiot. If you were this hung up on him, why would you do that?”

Chanyeol reaches over and pats her knee.

“Because it didn’t matter either way, he was going to leave me behind. I’d already screwed myself over. No chance of getting into his school, or any school for that matter, except maybe tech. I realized that dating him for a few days could result in dating a few months over summer, maybe. And then he’d leave me behind.”

Krystal seems temporarily dazed by the idea and stares at him with her mouth wide.

“What about long distance?”

“That never works and besides… he didn’t want to be with me.”

“Liar.”

He resists the urge to snap at her, resulting in an annoyed glare instead.

“You don’t know--”

She snorts a laugh and rolls her eyes.

“I call bullshit, Chanyeol. Nobody acts that way about a guy they don’t even like. He was still mad, a few days ago when I saw him downtown. He got right in my face and told me that I won you and you chose me, and that he should be salty over it.”

Chanyeol can’t imagine Baekhyun getting in Krystal’s face but that’s mostly because he was sure Baekhyun wasn’t tall enough for that which makes him smile.

“Regardless, he and I are in the past. It’s long over now. And he’s at Duke, and I’m here being worthless.”

She agrees with this wholeheartedly, nodding with a sigh.

“That’s true.”

He reaches into the bag of popcorn and pelts her in the nose.

“Thanks.”

“It’s true though. You’re letting yourself waste away. When you look in the mirror, is this the man you want to be for Byun Baekhyun? If you two were to meet on the street next summer, is this what you’d want him to see?” She asks with an incredulous look, shaking her head. “I’d hope not. Holes in your shirt, holes in your jeans, holes, holes, holes.” She says hooking her finger in each one. “And this hair and this beard. Don’t get me wrong, it’s almost sexy in a lumberjack kind of way but it’s just not the best look for you.” She decides.

“I guess…” He says softly.

“I want you to be the man that Baekhyun would regret not chasing after. Make him wish he’d come after you and begged you to take him.”

“That’s literally never going to happen. We’re in different states, and he and I ended a long time ago. Whatever small chance I had with him, I threw away. And let’s be honest. He’s a dude. It’s not like I have a future there.” Chanyeol says quietly.

Krystal thinks about this for a moment, her mouth pursed and she leans in and gives Chanyeol a chaste kiss on the lips.

“Why?” He grumbles, touching his mouth.

“Because you needed a reminder of what a loveless kiss feels like. Is this what you want for the rest of your life? Do you want a future playing house with kisses like that? Or do you want what you had with that boy?”

Chanyeol’s hesitation is enough to prove her point and both of them slump back in the seat of the couch and she touches the scruffy jawline he’s sporting with a giggle.

“You look like a mountain man. It’s almost sexy.” She teases softly.

“I thought you like clean cut guys?”

She closes her eyes and stretches her legs out to rest on the coffee table with shrug.

“I guess things change over time right? You changed, I changed. We all changed.”

But that meant that Baekhyun had changed too. By this time he would have moved on for sure. A new boyfriend. Or maybe a new girlfriend? Who knows. Maybe he’s still single. Maybe he’s single and he still doesn’t want Chanyeol. He honestly couldn’t tell what would hurt more anymore.

“I don’t know what to say anymore, Mr. Byun.”

He looks up at his student advisor with a soft smile.

“I can’t even consider the possibility of you leaving our school because you show such promise, but if you want to leave us, I would have to understand.”

Baekhyun sets his backpack down on the floor with a smile.

“No, I’m not considering leaving the school. Just, maybe, switch majors. I’m currently undecided again. I thought I knew what I wanted but now I’m not sure. I like writing, and maybe creative writing is a good track for me.”

“Creative writing, Mr. Byun. We have a good creative writing program but for that I would have to recommend Columbia or Stanford… Duke has excellent medical programs and we have… well… there’s really no need to get into our merits. Why the sudden change of heart?”

He chews the inside of his mouth and looks at the objects lining her desk. Pictures of her family on the beach and trinkets of dolphins. She has memo pads shaped like sea shells and follows through the university colors of blue in a beach theme.

“People change, don’t they? We all change. Flowers grow from weeds. It’s life, I think. Life is the sudden change. I felt alive and that was important. I started writing again and I feel alive.”

She smiles softly.

“Poetic. Nothing less than what I would expect from a writer. But I have to advise you that this is a tough spot to get into. There were others who wanted to get in here that didn’t. I can’t just let you walk away without reminding you how hard it was to get into this school.”

“But is it fair for me to be here in a precious spot when there are others who who rather be here? I’m wasting this. It’s not fair to them. I am considering going to another school but I don’t know what I want anymore. I want to write, but I can’t get a degree for the kind of thing I want to write. And that’s where I start to doubt everything. I was told to follow my dreams and that anything is possible. But let’s be honest, that’s setting kids up for failure.”

“Well then why not go into child psychology and develop a new movement for children’s guidance?” She suggests.

“That’s a great idea. For someone else. It’s not for me, and I’m pretty sure we both know that.”

He picks his backpack up again and smiles.

“Thank you, Mrs. Collins.”

“Let me know what you’d like to do and I’ll arrange for references if you want to reapply for another school.” She says doubtfully.

On some level, neither of them believe he’ll do anything about it. But deep down, his decision was already made. He would be leaving this school and he wouldn’t be coming back. He just has to decide the next step after that. Does he go to another big name school or does he go for a state school or just start going to tech until he figures out where he wants to go. There’s nothing really wrong with state schools. They don’t carry the same prestige but only the Ivy league schools do that really. But even school at all just feels like such a waste of money when he has absolutely no direction. He’s following what society wants of him, and that’s not a bad thing. But when he stops to ask himself what it is that he wants, somehow he feels… selfish.

And it is selfish in some ways. There are starving children everywhere that would love a place to stay and an education. But then again, it’s also selfish of his parents to try and force himself to be happy with a life that didn’t end well. But adults are allowed to be selfish. It’s the ones in between highschool and adulthood that get the short end of the stick. The responsibility of choosing your entire future with limited education. The pressure of the monetary debt hanging over your head as you trudge forward under the life path that he may or may not follow through.

Suddenly living like a hermit didn’t sound so irrational at all.

He could do the hermit thing. He could do it, living with Chanyeol and his laptop. Those were the things he would need. Chanyeol, his laptop, coffee. And wifi. Always wifi.

But Chanyeol is still hanging out with those goons from high school. Though Baekhyun has moved forward in the world, Chanyeol is stuck in a small town slump. He stayed friends with the same people doing the same thing and there’s no future there for them in that small town.

He calls Sehun as soon as he’s out of the building, seeking the comfort of familiarity.

“So, what is this I hear about you and Krystal Jung pulling each other's hair in the streets over Park Chanyeol?”

No escape. There’s literally no escape.

“Where did you hear that?”

“I heard that lovely tidbit from back home. Kyungsoo sent over the latest gossip and apparently you’ve turned into a little bitch.” Sehun chuckles with a hollow silent sound.

“You’re not cute.” Baekhyun replies, but he’s smiling regardless.

“So, do you wanna talk about it?”

“Nope.”

Sehun is quiet a moment before he sighs on the other end, loud and staticy in the phone receiver.

“No. Phone pouting be damned. I am not talking about it.”

Sehun starts breathing loudly and intentionally into the phone and Baekhyun pulls the slim device from his ear.

“I will hang up on you!” Baekhyun yells.

“It’s not fair! Everyone knows except me!”

“That’s a rumor, Sehun. That didn’t actually happen. Literally nobody knows what happened except for me and Park.”

Which is the truth. But Sehun is still upset about it.

“And Krystal.” He points out.

“And possibly, a little bit, Krystal.”

Because apparently Kris told all his friends something, probably most of which he made up. Though there is a part of him that wants to tell Sehun about Chanyeol, to tell him that he met a person on that roof that he’d never known before, someone that he really clicked with, he knew he couldn’t. There is nobody that would understand it except for the two of them and he hoped that Chanyeol felt it too. He had hoped that it would be a secret. But apparently, Chanyeol was blabbing about them and that hurt more than he’d expected.

“I’ll tell you about it over break. You bring the wine, I’ll bring the girl talk.”

“So the you turning into a bitch part was accurate then.”

He hangs up on the laughing boy and grins to himself. Sliding in his earbuds he puts on the All-American rejects and sings aloud to dirty little secret, maybe a little too passionately, as he walks along, judging from the stares and chuckles he got from those who passed him by.

Chapter Text

Chanyeol wipes his hands on his jeans, sweaty palms have no place handling books. It’s summer again, almost a year since he graduated high school and the sun is burning the hot top asphalt outside of the well air conditioned building. He grabs the box cutter and carefully opens up the new shipment of books for their branch. It’s been about 8 months since he started working at the library and this part of the job is still his favorite. Opening up the new shipment of books, ready for plastic book covers to be placed on them, ready to be checked into the system with their brand new stickers. He feels like he’s giving someone the opportunity to start a new adventure every time. Because to Chanyeol, that’s what this library is. It’s a place full of opportunities.

He started coming to the library after thanksgiving break. He came in just to get out of the house. He just wanted to come in, browse the library for some reading material on different types of jobs he can have. He wanted to do some research on how long you have to be in school for certain degrees and make copies of paperwork. And he wanted to look into being pilot. Because that… because that’s what Baekhyun thought would be a good fit for him. And while he was there perusing the books, he found a novel on the ground and slipped on it.

He picked it up, staring at the paperback novel with some disdain, and then read the back cover. And then he read the first few pages. And then he was just sitting on the floor reading. One book turned to two books, and then three and then he was at the library everyday from open until close, reading everything he could get his hands on. And after a month of this, the ladies there offered him a job.

Even though the pay was minimal, and he wasn’t working as a librarian as much as he was hired help to help lug around heavy carts and boxes of books, he liked being useful and he liked having spending money again. His parents, who were used to him leaving the house in chaos, were unapologetically vocal about how thrilled they were that he would amount to something more than a parasyte single for the rest of his life. The thumbs over the book covers for new YA novels and smells the pages with a small smile. lugging the boxes to the counter, he puts them where the women can reach them and then moves on to his chore of putting books away.

Everyone knew he was at the library, and a few times they came in to bother him, but mostly they left him alone. Krystal was the only one who seemed especially excited to come home and see him this summer. She came waltzing into the library like she was walking a runway in 4-inch platform sandals and a pastel blue flowing shirt.

“Chanyeol!” She sings as she rounds the corner.

“Shh! This is a library, Krys!” He hisses holding out his arm to give her a side hug.

“Your mom said you would be here so I raced over! I can’t believe it! My big, strong, working man!”

He rolls his eyes and threatens to ruffle her hair which gets her jumping back away from him.

“You look well.” He says with a smirk, going back to his work, scrolling through the aisle with a romance novel in hand to return it to it’s home.

“I did get into Pi Beta Phi, you were right. And I’m actually fitting in really well. I have a potential boyfriend in my future. He’s kind of an idiot jock though.”

“I think that’s your type.” Chanyeol teases with a wink.

“Speaking of my original idiot jock, is he working out again?” She feels up his arms without asking and he rolls his eyes.

“Nothing impressive. Just cutting back on my lay’s bran intake and upping the appearances of veg and gym in my schedule.”

Her smile touches her eyes and he looks away quickly.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” She asks wistfully.

“Stop looking at me like I got straight A’s on first report card in elementary school.”

She giggles and starts flipping through books on the rolling shelf in front of her. And after a minute he looks over to find her engulfed in a story.

“Isn’t it crazy?”

She puts a long manicured french tip to her place to give him her attention.

“How you can so easily leave behind everything and get caught up in a book.” He says softly, putting another book into the shelf where it belongs and pulling the cart behind him.

Krystal wraps her arms around him from behind and nods her head.

“I’m so happy you’re doing better.” She whispers. “Uhg! I’m going to go before I cry! Are you going to come by the river tonight?”

He shrugs.

“I guess I can make an exception for you.”

And with that the girl is off, her fruity perfume trailing behind her as she leaves. From the window he can see her light green VW bug pulling away, windows down, music pumping through her speakers, the same way she always drove out of their high school senior lot every single day. He could always watch her go as she passed by the Lacrosse field and sometimes, if she was in a good mood she would honk the horn and wave as she passed by. She wasn’t a bad girlfriend. He was just never the right boyfriend for her.

He turns back to his cart, bending down to grab the next set of books. He moves them up to the empty top shelf and flips through the book titles with a smirk.

“Excuse me sir, I don’t have a library card, but I’m checking you out right now.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes with a smirk before slowly turning over to the man leaning against the bookshelf.

Standing there in khaki shorts and a white button down is not one of the jocks from his high school though. Chanyeol drops the book in his hand and staggers back, face no longer holding any traces of amusement. His face pales as he registers the shaggy hair and the familiar smile.

“Boo!” He says, jumping away from the bookcase, and Chanyeol leaps from his skin on cue, grasping onto the bookshelf behind him.

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

Baekhyun leans against the bookcase across from Chanyeol again with a soft laugh and shrugs his shoulders.

“My friend Sehun told me you work here.”

“Yeah… Yeah, I do. Can I… help you find a book?” Feeling has yet to return in his fingertips.

Baekhyun thinks about this a second and then shrugs.

“Yeah… Yeah I’m looking for a book called ‘how to talk to a guy you did naughty things with but never dated’, do you carry that title?”

Chanyeol stares at Baekhyun for a long time, taking in the refreshing breath of baited breath he’d held since the last they spoke.

“It might be over with our ‘you haven’t talked to me in a year, and now i’m in shock.’ books.”

He smiles bashfully and hides his face by looking down. Chanyeol wants to reach over and pull his gaze back up.

“Those are long book titles.” Baekhyun whispers.

“Are you back for the summer?” Chanyeol asks, feeling like he should get back to work if for no other reason than because it would give him something to do with all of his nervous energy.

“I dropped out of school.”

Chanyeol’s mouth slips open and he looks around nervously.

“Y-you can’t joke about that kind of thing in a small town, Baekhyun. Half the town probably knows by now. The walls have ears here.”

He steps up closer to Chanyeol and the tall man flattens against the bookshelf again.

“I wasn’t joking. I dropped out. Twice.”

He bends down and grabs the book that Chanyeol dropped on the ground and dusts it off before replacing it on the cart.

“First I dropped out of Duke, then I decided to go to Columbia and I dropped out of there this semester too.”

“Why? You were the smartest kid I knew.”

Baekhyun laughs lightly and sprawls on the edge of the cart, staring up at Chanyeol.

“I was? I was the smartest kid you knew?” He asks with a grin stretching over his features.

Chanyeol clutches the book in his hand a little tighter and swallows hard. The urge to touch him, to feel his warmth and prove he’s here, and he’s real is so strong. He wants to reach for him, to pull him in, to hold him, the breath him in again. But none of that seemed remorseful. So he just steadily held his book and tried to focus on finding where it belonged on the shelf before him.

“Yeah, Baekhyun. You’re still the smartest kid I know. You’re Byun Baekhyun.”

Maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen him in so long, but he looks different somehow. His eyes are light with amusement and his cheeks are flushed having just come in from the heat. His hair is lighter now and he looks angelic somehow, like he’d just stepped out of a watercolor painting, so pale and fair.

“I didn’t flunk out.” He says at last. “I dropped out. I decided not to go back, even though my GPA was just fine.”

He tries not to seem concerned or worried about the fact that Baekhyun is admitting to just leaving his school for no reason. He and Baekhyun are essentially strangers. But still, he’s irrationally concerned.

“So is there a reason you aren’t going back to school?”

“I don’t know, why did you turn into a lumberjack and fall off the face of the planet after high school?” He deadpans in response.

“How did you know?”

“I saw you.”

Chanyeol turns to Baekhyun and slams the book down harder than he meant to. He looks Baekhyun over and then draws his mouth into a tight line.

“You what?”

Baekhyun takes the book and looks at the spine, with a clearing of his throat he excuses himself and slips between Chanyeol and the bookcase, looking through the author’s names and replacing the book where it belongs.

“I drove out to the river, and I saw you, in your camo hat with your bead and your can of beer and all of your friends. You were having a bonfire.”

Chanyeol doesn’t give Baekhyun space this time, standing with the man close to his chest, sandwiched between him and the shelf. And when he turns around to look up at him, Chanyeol resists with every fiber of his being, a battle of will, straining against his muscles aching to lean forward and steal those lips. His lashes are dark and full on his pretty sleepy downturned eyes, and the small barely there birthmark in corner of his mouth begs to be touched.

“You saw me, but you didn’t say anything?”

Baekhyun crosses his arms and raises his brow.

“And how would that have turned out? With me coming up to you in front of all of your homophobic friends. How do you see that turning out? What would they have said?”

Chanyeol runs a hand through his hair, still much longer than it was in highschool but not so much that it brushed his collar.

“Who gives a damn what they would have said! I would have wanted you to come up to me. Just like this. Just like right now.”

“Why didn’t you come after me?” Baekhyun asks. “If you felt so strongly, why didn’t you come to my house, send me a text, hell, get in your suv and drive to me?”

He shrugs his shoulders and steps closer to Baekhyun.

“And say what? Hey, I know you’re off being important at school, I’m a loser with no future or ambition, I think I’m in love with you? Yeah, That would go over really well. Why didn’t I have the cajones for that?” Chanyeol’s hands hover just above Baekhyun’s shoulders for a moment before landing softly on the soft slopes.

“You thought you were in love with me?”

“The thought crossed my mind.” He admits.

“That’s stupid we barely knew each other.” Baekhyun whispers, but Chanyeol notes the rose in his cheeks as a good sign.

His hands come in against Chanyeol’s wrists and he looks up.

“You should get back to work.”

“Okay.”

They hold one another hostage in a tight gaze for just a moment, tense and thick with the same sexual chemistry they’d always felt and finally Chanyeol lets his go.

“Can we talk more. Tomorrow?” Baekhyun asks.

He nods his head, reaching out instinctively for Baekhyun’s hand to hold him in place. In case he didn’t see him again for a long time, he just wants to hold onto him for just a moment longer.

“Tomorrow.” Chanyeol says.

“I’ll meet you after your work ends at your house.”

Baekhyun pulls his hand back and Chanyeol watches him walk away. And though his mind was saying “Fuck tomorrow, fuck work, fuck the library. Only Baekhyun fucking matters.” he somehow knew better than the up and leave. So he stayed, working a little slower than usual, his world tipped upside down by Baekhyun’s reappearance. When 4 PM pulled around and he left for the day, his part time hours let him off relatively early in the day, he grabbed his keys and gave the elderly women hugs with the promise to be back the next day.

He wanted to tell Krystal about it, about how he had become a better man now that Baekhyun almost could be impressed with. He wanted to tell her everything, but when he gets out to the car, he finds someone waiting for him.

“Baekhyun, what’s wrong?”

The man looks over with an awkward wave and shrugs.

“I don’t feel like waiting to talk. I want to talk now.”

Chanyeol eyes where Baekhyun is standing, leaning against the door to the backseat and he swallows hard.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Byun Baek.”

The boy grins at the nickname and motions to the backseat.

“Because of what happened last time?”

Chanyeol gives a flat “yes” without a second’s hesitation and Baekhyun’s smile falters.

“Because you’re afraid the same thing will happen?”

“Yeah.” Chanyeol spits out again.

For a second they both remain completely still for a second, and before Chanyeol can process it, Baekhyun is reaching for the collar of his shirt and pulling him in. He takes the invitation and grabs hold of Baekhyun’s hips and their faces collide uncomfortably at first, noses brushing mouth searching until their lips come together. Baekhyun starts to paw at him, climbing him like a tree and Chanyeol holds him in place unlocking the car so that they can seek shelter in the backseat again. He scrapes the man’s slender frame to him once more and he fits against him perfectly.

“Chanyeol…” He breathes as they part long enough for Chanyeol to lift Baekhyun into the backseat and crawl in after him.

“Shhh. Talk tomorrow, remember?”

He starts to unbutton Baekhyun’s shirt hastily and Baekhyun shies again slightly.

“What if it’s not as good this time?” He asks.

“What?”

“I want everything to be perfect, but what if this isn’t the fairy tale ending we thought?”

Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun’s shirt and pulls him in to kiss him.

“You’re my fairy tale ending right now, princess. So take off your shirt and let me touch you.” He growls, voice thick with appreciation.

Baekhyun’s perfect small mouth is slightly swollen with their hard kissing, and his brilliant smile leaves no more room for hesitation. Chanyeol pulls his shirt up off of his head and shrugs.

“This is what you get now… I don’t… I don’t have the body I used to have.” He says softly.

“Oh, no. What will I do with a muscular man who doesn’t have a chocolate bar broken up six pack.” Baekhyun feins disappointment with a flat tone and Chanyeol smirks. “I don’t have a six pack either you know.”

“But I like it like that.” Chanyeol breathes, unbuttoning the buttons again and leaning in for another kiss. “Soft and pale… perfect.”

He circles Baekhyun’s lips with the edge of his tongue and smiles  as he peels the shirt away. The pale canvas of Baekhyun’s chest is just as he remembered though. Nothing has changed, if he didn’t get a little paler up north for a semester. His pert little nipples harden with his arousal and Chanyeol strokes his wide palms down Baekhyun’s forearms in appreciation. He dots the side of his neck with whisper soft kisses and rounds over his shoulders with care, touching the skin with reverent brushes. A year of dreaming about this moment, and living in the regret of not having admired this view the way he should have. This time, he wouldn’t take it for granted. He makes sure that Baekhyun is comfortable lying down before starting to come back down again and the man stops him. Looking up at him with soft eyes touched with tears Baekhyun reaches up to palm his cheek.

“I missed you.” He breathes.

“Every single day.” Chanyeol replies and ducks down to kiss the angel beneath him once more.

Baekhyun winces as he tries to look out the window, the bruising mark on his neck where he begged Chanyeol to suck him harder, and harder, turned out to be a mistake. One that he knew he hadn’t learned a lesson from yet because it felt too damn good. Pulling up in the gas station seated in the front seat of Chanyeol’s car for the first time, Baekhyun sighs contently.

“So where’s your car, again?” Chanyeol asks with a smirk.

“At my house. I had Sehun drive me to the library. At first I was just going to stalk you again… but… I don’t have enough willpower for that apparently.”

Chanyeol reaches over to tuck soft strands of hair behind Baekhyun’s ear before ruffling the top with a chuckle.

“Luckily I know exactly where that is.”

Baekhyun watches him get out of the car as summer storm clouds start to rumble in overhead. They come in so fast, rolling in without warning, just like Baekhyun’s feelings for Chanyeol came thundering back. All this time apart, and standing by him, talking to him, hearing his voice is enough to stir his whole body up. He’s whipped already, hanging on his every word again. Except they’re not in high school now. They’re free. And they’re not chained down by their status anymore. Baekhyun’s not a goody goody and Chanyeol’s not the immortal jock. Now they’re both on the same level. Lost and found bins waiting to be claimed by their owner.

Looking out of the windshield, he notices a red camaro and doesn’t know where to place it for a moment. But soon, it’s as matter of fact as his own bed room walls were. A memory of something that he saw every single day. But unlike the safety of his bedroom walls, this was a memory of being chased around and tortured. He tries to duck down in the seat, but it's too late now. It’s too late because Kris has already seen him and is stalking toward him.

“Is that Park Chanyeol’s car?” He yells.

Baekhyun shakes his head no, as if that might change something but Kris is circling to the back where he finds the vinyl lacrosse decals and smacks the side of the car in rage.

“Get out!” He demands.

Baekhyun shakes his head no and locks the doors. But this just proved to fire his wrath more. He starts shaking the SUV and Baekhyun looks desperately to the entrance of the gas station where Chanyeol is nowhere to be found before reluctantly unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Okay! Stop! Please stop!” He says fearing for the car’s integrity, fearing getting Chanyeol in trouble for any marks on the car, knowing he couldn’t afford another car.

He unlocks the door and hops down and Kris grabs hold of his shirt collar and pulls it from his neck. Baekhyun quickly tries to cover it and grab his shirt collar back but the struggle only leads to popping the first button off of his shirt.

“You sick son of a bitch, you just couldn’t leave him alone could you?” Kris growls.

“We’re not in high school anymore! I’m not trying to be a social climber! I genuinely like him!” Baekhyun protests, desperately trying to steal his shirt back again.

“You’re one fucked up little fruitcake. You’re seducing these poor innocent guys one at a time, what the hell is wrong with you?” He asks.

“I’m not seducing anyone!”

“You turned Park into a queer and you tried to turn me into one too, but I’m swimming in pussy and your little mind games won’t work with me!”

He turns Baekhyun around and presses him hard against the glass window, his face crushing against the cool panel as raindrops start to dot the windshield inside. Kris’s hand comes in against Baekhyun’s ass in one stroke and Baekhyun tries to push off of the car. But Kris’s hold keeps him there, pinned in place.

“Get off of me! We’re in public! You can’t get away with this! Get off!”

He hears a belt starting to unbuckle and he starts to flail against the hold, panicking and slamming his hands against the side of the car, against the hand holding his face down and the elbow to the middle of his back.

All at once, his mind was blanking out and his thoughts were getting tangled.

“Stop! Stop! St--”

The tension releases and he turns around quickly, shaking throughout his whole body to see Park Chanyeol there at his side. Kris hold his jaw and rolls the the side where he landed when Chanyeol’s fist collided with his hand.

“What the fuck is your problem! Get off of him!” Chanyeol growls, stepping towards Kris again.

He gets down low, straddling Kris’s body and lifts him by the shirt collar.

“I will fucking kill you. Do you understand? I thought you were in jail!”

“Yeah for a night, you inbred homo trash. I posted bail.” Kris spits.

Baekhyun stumbles awkwardly towards Chanyeol and pulls him by the hand.

“I want to leave.” He whispers.

And Chanyeol obliges, driving him away after one final kick to Kris’s still grounded side.The car ride in the rain is silent. And Baekhyun is almost thankful that Chanyeol isn’t forcing him to talk.

“Thanks for the ride.” Baekhyun mumbles.

“I’m sorry I caused this.” Chanyeol says.

“It’s okay. I just… I just need some time to think.”

And Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s hand again, wanting to hold him there for just another second but Baekhyun flinches back and quickly gets from the car, running through the downpour to his front porch and jumps inside without waving goodbye.

Chanyeol swirls around his ice cream with a spoon, not eating a bite of it, just waiting for it to melt. He’s been sitting at the Menchie’s frozen yogurt shop with Krystal and her friends for almost 45 minutes now. While he got his frozen yogurt and doused it in syrup, the girls had gone through adding fruit and sprinkles and candy and sauce like a giant diabetic coma waiting to happen. And after all that effort, they instagrammed the creation and barely touched it while talking too much. As the only man along for the ride, he was left out of most of the conversation. But he couldn’t go to the library today, it’s closed on Sunday. And going to the lake is no option at all because he couldn’t risk running into Kris. So tagging along with Krystal it is, because at least she wouldn’t let him cave and run to Baekhyun’s house.

“So are you two back together?”

Krystal laughs and shakes her head, trying to wave it off and move on in conversation but the girls keep coming at them. Finally Chanyeol smirks and speaks up in one sentence that shuts down an hour straight of conversation: “I’m gay.”

Krystal even seems slightly taken back for a moment before she gives a sort of awkward laugh and nods her head.

“You turned him gay?” Is the first question out and Krystal tenses up at his side with the eruption of laughter.

“No. Actually.” Chanyeol wraps his arm protectively around her. “See, I couldn’t figure out why dating wasn’t a big deal for me, so I figured that all of the girls at school must just be beneath my level. I thought that I just wasn’t attracted to any because, well, you know… no offence but small towns and limited selection. So I chose the prettiest girl in school, the one that came off the lease like a trashy whore or a basic girl, and I decided there was no way that I could possibly resist that. But I felt lucky to have her, but it just wasn’t the same. It really drove me crazy because it didn’t make any sense. Smart, kind, pretty… And that’s when I realized, there’s nothing wrong with her. It’s something wrong with me.”

Krystal elbows him but she’s trying to hide her blush.

“Ignore him, he’s just sucking up to me probably.” She tries to laugh it off.

But he holds the side of her head in place and kisses her hair.

“She’s a dear friend to me now.” He says, letting her indulge in the moment with a selfie together while the girls reel from his first ever coming out.

“Shut up.” She says, too late to be a part of any conversation, a smile on her face.

“Send me those, we don’t have any new pictures together he says casually in reply, retreating his arm to hold his phone with both hands.

He unlocks his phone and excuses himself to step outside to call his parents quickly, letting them know not to wait up for him. And when the call ends, he’s staring at Baekhyun’s tall friend Sehun in a pineapple sweatshirt, fake glasses and jeans rolled up above his ankles with loafers.

“Park Chanyeol.” The man says.

“Hey.”

The guy seems like he would rather staple gun his fingers to the bench than be there talking to Chanyeol which worried Chanyeol more than it should, the man being a stranger.

“Um… Can we talk?”

Sehun’s awkwardness doesn’t seem to catch though and Chanyeol nods his head with a gentle smile, hesitant but open. He walks a few steps with the man and waits for him to get whatever it is off of his chest.

“Baekhyun cancelled on us,” He says.”And we had plans to go to the drive in theater. Which he loves.”

Chanyeol nods his head.

“So, what happened yesterday when I dropped him off with you?”

Chanyeol debates the best answer to give here and takes his time trying to put it together.

“So you should know, I’m crazy about Baekhyun.” He starts, which may have startled Sehun, but he doesn’t miss a step. “So, we haven’t seen each other in a long time… and… do you get where I’m going with this?”

“You attacked him?”

“No!” Chanyeol shouts, stopping his walking with a horrified expression.

Sehun eyes him carefully and then nods.

“Okay.”

“No… it was consensual… he and I--”

“Yeah, It’s good! I don’t! I don’t need to know that part!”

“No, we--okay, nevermind. After that, I stopped to get gas at the gas station and buy us something to drink. Well, Baekhyun stayed in the car and Kris showed up--”

“Kris Wu?” Sehun blurts out with a panicked expression.

“Y--yeah. And… He tried to… Well, I don’t know where it was going… but… He tried…”

Sehun stops walking and Chanyeol clenches his fists, trying to shake off waves of anger. Chanyeol’s phone starts chirping and the two are pulled from their daze. Chanyeol sees 4 missed messages from Krystal and nods that they should head back.

“I stopped him, before anything happened I think… It’s just… He was pretty shaken up. And he wants space so I’m trying to give him space.”

“I wonder why he couldn’t tell me…” Sehun mumbles.

“Well, possible sexual assault isn’t really a light subject.”

“But he didn’t tell me about you for a long time either, until recently actually. If he’s liked you all this time, then why didn’t he say anything…”

Chanyeol shrugs and pats Sehun’s shoulder.

“I’m sure Baekhyun has a real reason. He’s not irrational.”

“You’re not… you’re not how I imagined.” The man replies, eyeing Chanyeol uncertainly.

“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or not.”

“Me either…” he admits.

The two awkwardly put space without meaning to when they reach the front of the frozen yogurt place again and he almost goes inside when Krystal comes bursting out.

“Let’s go. We need to leave. Now!” She demands.

“What? Why? Is--”

But it’s too late at that point, Kris is already halfway out of the door.

“Oh, hello curious Park. You’ve been a busy little bee, haven’t you? Krystal and lady Byun? You’re just getting your dick wet everywhere aren’t you?”

Chanyeol pulls Krystal behind him and Sehun somehow ends up holding onto her to calm her down.

“So what? You get tired of ramming his little brown cunt so you came crawling back to this old toy? Not as shiny now is she?”

“Shut up, kris, before I lay you out again.” Chanyeol warns.

“Lay me out? You got a lucky shot last time because I wasn’t looking, you coward.”

“Ohhh, Oh right. Last time I got a lucky shot in. You were distracted trying to rape my boyfriend.”

Kris spits and grabs Chanyeol’s shirt collar.

“I am not a queer.” He seethes

Chanyeol nods his head with an apology.

“Sorry, sorry. I forget how totally natural it is to pin someone down and feel up their ass and try to take your dick out. Not gay at all.”

Kris throws what could have been a punch but Chanyeol ducks it and shakes his head.

“Give it up kris.”

“I am not giving it up. You and your little faggy friend are what’s wrong with this world!” He yells.

“Leave Baekhyun out of this.”

“Why? He’s a used up piece of ass, you’ll get tired of him and move on eventually.”

“I said Shut up, Wu.”

“Do you like how it feels, riding that tight little hole while he makes little girl sounds and touches his little winky dinky. Does--”

Chanyeol stops him there, and Kris doesn’t get another word in.

Baekhyun sees the outline of the man’s shoulders above the flowers and weeds from across the field, his dark green shirt making his shoulders look broader than they really are. Although, to Baekhyun, Chanyeol is always massive. His hands are bigger, his shoulders are wider, his body is bigger, his smile is wider. Walking across the field, he starts picking the flowers one by one as he passes, pulling away petals one by one, chanting the age old dating game’s catchy little repetition. He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not… And as he walks towards him, he thinks of Sehun’s panicked voicemails he got in the morning after a night with his phone off.

“If lovers were flowers, I’d pick you.” Baekhyun says.

Chanyeol looks up at him, shielding his eyes from the sun above and Baekhyun can see the swollen eye and scratch marks on his neck, evidence of his fight.

“Hey.” He replies.

“What happened?”

Chanyeol shrugs and keeps twisting a piece of grass.

“I heard you got into a scuffle defending my honor.”

The man still doesn’t address the fight from the night before.

“I came by to thank you.”

He takes a seat across from Chanyeol but the man looks away, unwilling to look at him.

“Why are you upset?”

“Why wouldn’t I be upset, Byun Baek? I’m the idiot who got the cops called on him. I’m a small town nothing with no future. I’m hot headed, letting him get me riled up like that. What the hell do I have going for me?”

The small man lifts one shoulder and purses his lips.

“I don’t know. Your boyfriend is pretty cute, I guess. So you have that going for you.”

“Did Sehun tell you? Sorry, that kind of just slipped out last night.”

And though, he may have felt it was all a little rushed considering, everything about their love story was expedited. So instead of letting it linger between them, he shrugs it off.

“I’m using all of my best pickup lines here but you still don’t seem to be getting the point. Do I need to ask you out, or…? What’s going on here?”

Chanyeol’s face lifts with a faint curve of a smile and Baekhyun winks.

“Are you saying you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Do you think I go around giving out blowjobs to guys I don’t like?” The man shoots back.

Chanyeol opens his arms in invitation and Baekhyun comes into his arms, cheek to Chanyeol’s chest with a grin.

“Will you be my boyfriend, Byun Baekhyun?”

“Ew gross, are you gay?”

Chanyeol ruffles his hair and the boy laughs melodically.

“Yes of course. Now you’re mine. No bitches allowed.” He demands.

“Krystal isn’t a bitch.”

Baekhyun turns in his arms with his mouth wide open.

“You said it not me! Ha! You said it! You think she’s a bitch! I’m going to tell her!” He teases and Chanyeol tries to tickle him and they crash down together, tangled arms and legs in flowers.

Chanyeol looks at the ring of flowers in Baekhyun’s hand and then back up with a curious look and Baekhyun laughs lightly.

“I made it on the way over as I was wading through the grass playing a game. Here, you can have it. It’s a crown, because you’re the King of this castle.”

“Sexual.” Chanyeol deadpans with authority.

“I write fanfiction, of course what I say is cheesy and sexual.”

Chanyeol takes in the beautiful man giggling again and starts to feel better suddenly. He takes Baekhyun’s hand in his and slides on a ring, a single white flower wound into a poorly constructed accessory.

“I said I’d be your boyfriend. Marriage is a little fast, Park. Love wins and all, yay LGBT pride, but this is too much too soon.”

“It’s not a wedding ring, smart ass. It’s a promise ring. I promise that I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe from people like Wu or anyone else.”

“Flowers wilt, Chanyeol. This is a weak promise.” Baekhyun points out.

“It’s okay. Look at how many flowers there are here. I can just make you a new one everyday. Then it’ll always be fresh.”

“Are we going to live in a meadow?”

At some point, Chanyeol had started to move closer to Baekhyun’s face and the boy wasn’t flinching.

“We can live where you want, Byun Baek. Here, the mountains, the north east, in your fanfiction, in my reality or yours.”

“Let me guess, it doesn’t matter where you live, as long as you’re with me?”

The distance between them closes with a soft kiss.

“Exactly.”

“That’s awful.” Baekhyun breathes, shaking his head.

He reaches one dainty hand up to cup the former athlete’s face gently.

“I love it.”

The End