Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everyone knows one thing, you can’t change the way the wind blows.

This is something that Sanemi knew for sure; being the Wind Pillar, he probably knew it better than anyone. The other thing that Sanemi knew for sure was about demons. Demons, murderous, blood-thirsty creatures willing to kill anything that threatened to do them harm. Regardless of what that ‘thing’ was. It didn’t matter if it was a parent to them, or a sibling, or their own child.

Sanemi tried forgetting his past, forgetting the fateful night, in which he saw his siblings killed. Murdered. By his own mother, who had been turned into a demon. The only survivor, besides himself, was his younger brother Genya. Who had called him the murderer, after Sanemi had no choice, but to kill their mother to protect the both of them from their own deaths.

That night is what changed Sanemi forever, and it forever solidified his opinion. Demons were evil, and there was no point in letting them survive.

All they deserved,

Was to be slain like the beasts they are.

Sanemi stood in front of the demon, his arm cut and bleeding, tempting the beast to attack him. The demon stood out of its box, its mouth dripping with saliva behind its bamboo muzzle. Sanemi knew there was no way for the demon to resist his blood; he was a marechi, a delicacy for demons.

“What’s the matter? Go on. You know you want it.”

Sanemi taunted the demon, trying to get it to pounce at him faster, so he could prove his point to Oyakata-sama, as well as the other pillars, that demons will always consume blood, given the chance. Sanemi watched as the demon began to shake slightly, starting to give into the scent of his blood as it dripped to the floor. Just then, the brat who was being held down by Iguro, rushed up to the edge of the engawa.

“Nezuko!”

He had shouted the demon’s name, but Sanemi didn’t care.

It wasn’t until the demon turned its head away in disgust that Sanemi realized the demon wasn’t going to attack him. He may have stabbed it multiple times, flaunting the bloody arm in its face, but the demon still resisted. Sanemi was in a state of disbelief, but he quickly made his way off of the engawa to rejoin the rest of the pillars after getting a small word of warning from Oyakata-sama.

After the hashira meeting was finally over, the pillars were all dismissed to return to their normal duties.

As Sanemi made his way out of the master’s mansion, he bumped into Tomioka, whom he decided to give a piece of his mind. Sanemi grabbed Tomioka’s arm as he walked past, and turned him around, putting them face to face.

“What the hell was all of that about today? You’re a moron, putting your life on the line for some murderous beast. That’s idiocy at its finest.”

Sanemi finished with a relieved sigh. He had always hated how Tomioka acted like he was better than everyone else. Always standing apart from them at the meetings, that is, when he’d actually bother to show up to them. Not to mention how he never spoke to anyone unless he was directly addressed by Oyakata-sama himself. Sanemi didn’t want to see Tomioka’s stupid stoic face anymore. He abruptly let go of the arm as he turned to continue walking down the corridor.

“You’d understand if you had a bond like the Kamados.”

When Sanemi heard those words leave Tomioka’s mouth, he stopped dead in his tracks and turned back around, teeth clenched and fists balled at his side

“And what the fuck do you know about sibling bonds? Better yet, why do you care? All you do is act like you’re better than everyone, so shut. The fuck. Up.”

Sanemi didn’t want to waste any more time talking with Tomioka. He was already pissed off as is, and Tomioka’s words cut deeper than he wanted them to. They reminded him of his current relationship with Genya, and he didn’t need to be thinking about that right now. Sanemi just stormed off down the corridor, leaving Tomioka standing there.

Sanemi had made his way outside of the estate, he found himself just standing there, underneath a tree.

“You’d understand if you had a bond like the Kamados.” What the hell did he know? Tomioka’s words were getting to him, and he hated it. Sanemi hated anything that reminded him of his past with his brother. Tomioka sure as hell had a knack for reminding him, whether or not he knew what he was doing. It was damn near impossible to tell what the water pillar was ever thinking, so Sanemi just tried to get him off his mind.

With Tomioka off his mind, Sanemi’s thoughts immediately went to Genya. Fuck. He didn’t want to be thinking about that right now, but he really didn’t have any other choice. His thoughts raced with painful memories of his past. His father’s constant abuse, having to take care of his siblings once the bastard finally got himself killed, and finally, the night where everything was taken from him. The night where he decided to not let anyone get close to him again.

If he didn’t have anything, he couldn’t lose anything, and nothing would distract him from protecting others.

⭐⭐⭐

Giyuu stood in the corridor, surprised by how fast Shinazugawa had gotten aggressive. Giyuu began walking down the corridor again, not wanting to dwell too much on the interaction he just had.

As he continued walking, Giyuu kept wondering what could’ve caused Shinazugawa to lash out like he did. Neither of them were very social, so it was no surprise that they knew very little about each other. This caused Giyuu to start wondering about what could’ve caused Shinazugawa’s outburst. He contemplated a number of things, but one thought really stuck out to him. The wind pillar had always denied having a brother, but the outburst had made Giyuu question if he actually did.

With that thought in mind, Giyuu had felt a hint of regret for how he had responded. He never intended to come off as rude, but it was possible that he did because of his generally cold demeanor. Giyuu tried to just keep walking, but he couldn’t bring himself to ignore what just happened between him and Shinazugawa. With reluctance, Giyuu sighed, turned around, and made his way down the other end of the corridor.

He was going to talk to Shinazugawa.

It took a bit of looking around, but eventually, Giyuu found the wind hashira as he was leaving Oyakata-sama’s estate. Giyuu noticed that there was a slight shift in his demeanor. Usually, Shinazugawa looked very tense, but right now, he looked almost.. upset?

“Shinazugawa.”

Giyuu said his name, and the second he did, Shinazugawa’s disposition was back to his usual tense,aggressive one. Giyuu watched as he turned around, noticeably pissed.

“What the fuck do you want Tomioka? Don’t you have a mission already?”

Giyuu wasn’t surprised with Shinazugawa’s aggression as it was how he usually acted, especially towards Giyuu.

“I want to apologize for what I said earlier. I didn’t intend to offend you.”

⭐⭐⭐

When Sanemi heard that, it just pissed him off even further. Hearing Tomioka say that with such an indifferent face made Sanemi want to punch him.

“I don’t need your goddamn pity, fuck off.”

Sanemi’s words were harsh, but he didn’t care. He just wanted Tomioka to leave, specifically after seeing that he was being pitied. He didn’t need that, he was fine.

“It’s not pity, Shinazugawa.”

He stared daggers at Tomioka’s unchanging expression, looking for any sort of remorse in his eyes. All Sanemi saw was a dead ocean of color staring back at him. With that, Sanemi snapped.

“Why?! Why do you feel the need to apologize to me, just because you think I’m weaker than you!?”

Sanemi stared at Tomioka as he yelled, he watched for a rise coming from the water pillar, but what he saw instead of anger, or rage, was a look of self-loathing. It was faint, but it was still there. He stopped shouting, confusion overpowering his intense anger..

The two pillars stared at each other. Usually, nothing made the water pillar show any glimpse of emotion, but Sanemi’s outburst had caused something to change. Sanemi recognized the look in Tomioka’s eyes, it was one that he knew the feeling of all too well. The look almost made him feel a bit of sympathy for the water pillar.

Almost.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sanemi finally broke the uncomfortable silence. It had gone too far and he just had to say something to Tomioka. It took a while for him to say anything in response to Sanemi. When he finally did, it was extremely underwhelming.

“No reason. I’ll be on my way now.”

Sanemi wasn’t going to take that for an answer. He shot his arm out and grabbed Tomioka by the wrist.

“You don’t get to look at me like that, then just walk off like it’s nothing.”

Sanemi’s tone of voice had changed ever so slightly. It seemed to get the slightest bit softer. He could tell that something was bothering Tomioka, and he wasn’t about to let that shit slide.

“Now answer my goddamn question, Tomioka.”

“I told you there was no reason.”

Tomioka seemed to be putting a wall up, which didn’t really surprise Sanemi. He was the quietest out of the rest of the pillars. Slightly hesitant, Sanemi let go of Tomioka’s arm, making the decision that it was better to just drop the whole situation. .

“Whatever.”

Sanemi had returned to his normal personality. Cold and hostile. It was the best way for him to prevent anyone else from getting near him.

Without saying another word, Sanemi left.

Leaving Tomioka standing there alone.

Chapter Text

Sanemi stormed home the entire way. His thoughts and mind raced with everything that Tomioka had said. “Kamado siblings” this, “no reason that”. It was all complete bullshit. Sanemi’s fists clenched, digging his stubby fingernails into his calloused palms.

Gods. Why the hell does Tomioka have to be so fucking annoying. 

Eventually reaching the Wind Estate, Sanemi tore off his jacket. He threw it down onto his futon, disrupting the already uneven bedding. Sanemi sighed, and placed his head in his hands. He ran his hands through his hair, remembering all the times his mother used to do so.

Sanemi overlooked his many sketchbooks, and felt his muscles ease up. They were stacked atop his chabudai, surrounded by scattered pencil shavings and the pencils themselves. He took a seat, picked up his emptiest sketchbook, and began flipping through the pages. 

The pages were filled with drawings. Some smudged, some erased, but most completed. Sanemi’s eyes examined the page, overlooking the intricate details of each face. His mother’s soft eyes, his siblings’ bright smiles. 

The day was warm, and the sun was shining through the curtains. Sanemi watched as his siblings ran around the room. Sumi was with Koto, keeping an extra close eye on him, while Teiko, Hiroshi, and Shuya were playing a game of tag. He chuckled and sat cross-legged on the floor. 

Eventually, his siblings ended up dog-piling on him. This didn’t bother Sanemi, as he always treasured the moments he’d get with them. He just used this as a way to give them all a hug. Sanemi ruffled Hiroshi’s mohawk before wriggling his way out of the pile. 

The moment he managed to stand up, Sanemi was bulldozed back down again by Shuya. He fell to the ground once again, feeling the hard floor meet his back, he laughed. Instead of getting up, however, he stayed down, letting his siblings win. To be expected, Hiroshi and Koto joined back in on the dogpile as Sumi and Teiko stood to the side. 

The day passed surprisingly fast. Before Sanemi knew it, it was time for him to go out to earn some extra money. He said goodbye to all of his siblings and then stepped outside. 

Sanemi smiled as he reminisced, flipping through drawings of his siblings. He could almost remember how excited his siblings sounded, but years of fighting had removed those voices from his mind. He flipped over to the next page, but he wished that he hadn’t.

The page was covered in half-finished drawings of Genya. 

Fuck.

Sanemi didn’t need to be seeing that right now. He snapped the sketchbook shut and threw it back down onto the chabudai. He grabbed the bridge of his nose between his pointer and thumb and took a deep breath. He wasn’t doing this shit anymore. Without another thought, Sanemi stormed off to another part of his house. He was not going to think about Genya. He’d done that enough for one night already.  

Sanemi found himself standing in his washroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror. His hands braced on the side of the sink, gripping it tightly. He sighed and looked down into the sink, too ashamed to even look himself in the eye. His teeth were gritted and his eyes were shut. He started to feel a stinging in the back of his eye, making him even more annoyed. 

Dammit. Not now.

Unfortunately, things only got worse as the night continued.

Sanemi was sitting in the washtub of the room. His knees were pulled up to his chest, with his head leaned against the wall, in an attempt to comfort himself. However, this action was not nearly as helpful as he imagined. 

The night was cold and dark. Sanemi lay on his futon beside his siblings whom he thought were asleep. His mother still hadn’t returned from work, which worried him. His mother was small, so something could’ve happened to her. He rolled over, looking out the window into the sky. 

After a few minutes, Sanemi decided to do something. He got out of his bedding, making sure not to disturb any of his siblings as he did so. He did have to turn around at one point, but he quickly left afterward to make his way down the stairs. 

Sanemi could feel the cold wind hitting him in the face. He shuddered but continued on. He walked down the streets of his town, checking alleyways, and wandering around aimlessly searching for other places his mother could be.

‘It's not like Mother to be out so late without warning… Where could she be?’

After what felt like ages of searching, Sanemi started to make his way home. As he made his way up the stairs, he heard a loud crash followed by screams. He raced up the stairs and threw open the shoji to see a horrifying scene in front of him.

All of his siblings were on the floor, either dying or dead. Sanemi’s breathing and heartbeat quickened. He noticed the figure crouched over in the corner, preparing to pounce. He watched as what appeared to be a wolf sprang forward. Without thinking, Sanemi intercepted the creature, flinging it and himself outside the room.

The moonlight now illuminating the creature, Sanemi could see what it truly was. 

The creature was his mother. 

Sanemi couldn’t believe his eyes. His mother, the one who had raised them, protected them all from their father, was now the reason all of his siblings were dying. He felt tears stinging in his eyes, but he wouldn’t let himself cry. He had to protect himself to have any chance of his siblings surviving. 

They hit the ground together. Hard. A cloud of dust surrounded Sanemi and his mother, and he could feel the air exit his lungs. He coughed, trying to regain his ability to breathe. Before he could even stand up, Sanemi was flung away by his mother. He felt her nails cut across his face, narrowly missing his eyes in the process. 

Sanemi had been flung against the outside wall of a nearby shop. He propped himself up on his arms, and looked to his left. There he saw the reflection of the moon in a butcher’s knife. 

‘Do I have any other choice?’

He stared at the knife, then back at his mother. Sanemi grabbed the knife off of the shop’s rack. He turned his attention back to his mother, watching as she pounced at him once again. 

Sanemi managed to block the attack, grabbing her arm. He stopped her from slashing across his body. He could feel the blood dripping down his face and hitting the ground below. He couldn’t allow it to distract him, he had to protect his siblings at any cost.

As he waited for the next blow, Sanemi noticed something strange about his mother’s stance. It looked more sluggish, drunken even. Her slitted eyes had become dilated, making her look slightly human once more. His breath seemed to stop, providing his mother an opening to attack.

Sanemi’s mother launched herself at him. She dug her nails into his left shoulder, cutting deep, blood staining his sleeve more than it already was. Somehow, he managed to retaliate, swinging the butcher’s knife into his mother’s wrist. Hissing in pain, she jumped back.

His breathing was heavy and his hands were trembling. He’d just attacked his mother. Thoughts raced through Sanemi’s mind as time seemed to slow for a moment.

‘Did I just do that?’

‘Will she attack me again?’

‘Is she even my mother anymore?’

‘She was the one that attacked them all.’

‘Are any of them even alive?’

His thoughts were cut short by another lung by his mother. This time, Sanemi dodged the attack, sending his mother tumbling towards the ground. He couldn’t miss the opportunity that had just presented itself. He gripped the knife in his hand and charged toward his mother, the knife striking into her side.

She let out a screech and attempted to knock the knife out of his hand, but failed. Sanemi was holding onto the knife as if his life depended on it, which it did. If he let his guard down for even a moment, it would surely spell his demise. 

She attacked again, claws aiming for his neck as she pounced. They scratched against Sanemi’s shoulder, drawing even more blood that splattered against him and his mother’s clothing. Acting out of adrenaline, he swung the knife back into his mother’s neck. It earned his ears another shriek, but nothing else.

Sanemi turned around to the sight of his mother laying on the ground. 

She wasn’t moving anymore. 

The sun had begun rising, casting Sanemi’s shadow over parts of his mother’s body. He stared in disbelief as his mother’s body began disintegrating. He couldn’t move. The knife he’d used to attack his mother still clutched in his hand. Blood was dripping down his arm, face, and shoulders as he heard footsteps rapidly approaching. 

Sanemi couldn’t look up from his mother’s body. He didn’t blink. Not even when he heard the sobs of his younger brother, Genya. 

“Why’d you do it?”

Sanemi didn’t respond.

“Why’d you kill our mother?”

Genya was still sobbing, holding their mother’s body in his arms. Sanemi didn’t move, he couldn’t. 

“You murderer!”

Sanemi wanted to reach out to Genya, explain what had happened, yet he remained motionless.

“You murderer!”

Chapter Text

Giyuu watched as Shinazugawa walked off in a huff. He made no attempt to catch up with the wind pillar, as he knew that it would be in vain. Even so, he didn’t care to elaborate on anything that Shinazugawa would want to hear. There were just some things that he couldn’t bring himself to speak on. 

“Why?! Why do you feel the need to apologize to me, just because you think I’m weaker than you!?”

Weaker? Ha. That’s a novel thought.

The idea of Shinazugawa being weaker than him was one that almost made Giyuu chuckle. 

“As if a ‘hashira’ like me could ever be better than the likes of the wind pillar.”

Giyuu pondered aloud as he began his trek back to his residence. His steps were quick, but his thoughts were still hung up. 

Did he really come off that way?

Nevertheless, that wasn’t important at the moment. If it really mattered, then Giyuu could apologize to Shinazugawa at the next hashira meeting, or via letter if he had the time. For now, he’d just focus on whatever came up from the corps. It was the best way to distract himself from the burdens of his mind. 

It was the day before Tsutako’s wedding. The weather had been pleasant, a soft breeze, lots of sunlight, everything that would be perfect for the day of a wedding. Unfortunately, that day was never fit to come. 

Giyuu was inside the house as night fell, sharing one last meal with just Tsutako, before they’d be forever joined by her fiance. He never really minded the thought of his sister getting married, he just thought that it was going to be one more change in his life.

But nothing could prepare Giyuu for one of the biggest changes of his life. 

As the two were sharing dinner, there was a sudden banging at the door. Giyuu offered to get the door for Tsutako, but she stood up instead.

“Let me get it, don’t worry, Giyuu.”

Not wanting to disobey his sister, Giyuu stayed seated at the table. He only moved once he heard a small ruckus come from the door. The boy watched as Tsutako rushed back to the table.

There was intense fear in her eyes. 

Without another moment passing, Giyuu followed Tsutako as she pulled him away to their bedroom. 

“Stay quiet, and stay here until I say to come out, alright?”

Tsutako’s voice was almost impossibly soft, yet Giyuu still heard, nodded, and stayed hidden inside the closet. At the sound of her footsteps fading away from the closet door, he looked through the cracks with wide eyes of wonder. Those same eyes of wonder, soon turned to eyes widened with terror. 

Screams. Blood curdling screams.

Giyuu watched in horror as… something broke in through the front door. He didn’t know what it could be, but it was bloodthirsty, and unstoppable. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he watched it slash as Tsutako. Blood and tears fell to the floor at the same, cruel rhythm. 

Dripping. 

Hitting the ground. 

Staining it, and his perception of his worth.

By the time Giyuu had returned to his residence, he’d already been in a daze. He stumbled inside with his hand on his face. He could feel tears beginning to prick at his fingertips, but he just kept walking. 

After what felt like ages, he finally reached his bedchambers. 

With a few fluid motions, Giyuu rid himself of his sword, placing it to the side of his futon with little care. 

He didn’t deserve a sword of that caliber, anyway. 

The screaming.  

The blood. 

The guilt. 

Her haori.

Just those small flashes of the past were enough to bring Giyuu to his knees. He could feel waves of sorrow hit him. Each one harder than the last. He clenched his fists into his bedding, looking for any way to rid himself of these thoughts. 

But he just couldn’t. 

Giyuu’s calm tears soon turned to ugly sobs. He clutched the front of his uniform in some sort of attempt to calm himself. 

It didn’t work. 

He removed his haori, before staring at it in his hands. Giyuu’s tears hit the fabric in a wrenching rhythm.

Each pitter. 

Each patter. 

The same rhythm of rushing footsteps. 

It was the first night of Final Selection. 

Giyuu and Sabito had made it through the rigorous training of Urokodaki. They had entered together, knowing that they’d make it out the same way. 

“Remember what I told you, alright Giyuu?”

“I remember, I remember!”

The two’s hope and determination was a strong force, but demons were stronger. 

At their first encounter, Giyuu took a hit to the head. He stumbled backwards as he felt blood trickle down the side of his face. He couldn’t open his left eye, so he covered it with his hand. The limitation of his vision put him into a daze, leaving him completely open to attacks. 

Until Sabito stepped in. 

The boy charged ahead, rushing in to aid Giyuu in his state. With the demon as it currently was, he couldn’t help the other boy now. So, Sabito chose to deal with the demon first, then get Giyuu to safety. 

Giyuu watched from a slight distance as Sabito used the 3rd form to slay the demon. 

He couldn’t do something as simple as get one, or at least, not yet. 

There was always still time. 

As each night passed, Giyuu’s condition worsened. He was still in the same continuous daze, leading to Sabito passing him off to another participant of the Final Selection. 

Sabito had heard shouting, so he knew that there was a demon nearby. 

Giyuu tried to reach out for Sabito, ask him not to leave, but he was too weak from all that had happened. 

He passed out shortly after that. 

When he woke up, Giyuu had a bandage wrapped around his head. There was still a dull, headache-inducing pain present, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. What had actually bothered him…

Was that Sabito was nowhere to be seen. 

Where had he gone? 

How long had Giyuu actually been out for?

After what felt like hours of confusion, but was only minutes, Giyuu finally got his answer from another, new, member of the corps. Initially, he was expecting the member to say that Sabito was just getting measured for a uniform, but that wasn’t the case. 

There had only been one death at this Final Selection. Although, it was a rather substantial death. 

It had been Sabito. 

Giyuu couldn’t believe it. 

Sabito had been stronger than any other slayer in the Final Selection. How could he have been the only one to die? If Sabito couldn’t make it through just the Final Selection, while actually fighting, then what hope did Giyuu have to make it as an actual Demon Slayer? 

He didn’t. 

He couldn’t make it. 

How did he even pass if he was asleep the whole time?

He didn’t deserve to. 

He never deserved to. 

He should’ve died instead.

By the time he’d finally snapped back out of his memories, Giyuu was emotionally exhausted. He had tear stains covering his cheeks, but he paid them no mind. The only thing he cared about at the moment was getting his haori somewhere else.

Having experienced this before, Giyuu knew that he shouldn’t keep the haori close.

He didn’t want to have to repair it anymore. 

The once pleasant night had turned to a bloodbath. Giyuu looked out through the door of the closet and listened to Tsutako to tell him to come out. He couldn’t get her screams out of his head, or the sight of that beast slashing her, as he looked through the gap in the door. 

The only sound he could hear was breathing, mixed with a slight snarling. 

He didn’t dare leave the closet. 

After a while, the snarling and breathing was gone, but Giyuu still felt numb from fear. He finally decided to leave the safety of the closet and went back to the living room. Each step felt heavy and difficult, as he had a bad feeling about what he’d see. By the time he reached the room, the numbness had disappeared, replaced with pure despair. 

Tsutako was lying on the ground in a pool of blood. 

Her breathing had stopped. 

Her face was completely pale. 

Giyuu rushed to Tsutako’s side, hoping for any sign of life from her, but there was nothing. Tears began to fall from his eyes. He shook her, but she still didn’t move. 

“Tsutako! Wake up! Please!”

But she didn’t reply. 

“Stop joking around!”

Nothing. 

“You still have your life to live.”

There was no life left for the dead. 

“Don’t leave me..”

But she was already gone. 

Giyuu didn’t know how long he kneeled next to Tsutako, but when he finally looked back up, it was already dark. He had nowhere else to go, so he just laid down by her side. He clutched part of her haori in his hand, not wanting to let go of her.

He didn’t ever want to let go of her again. 

But he didn’t have a choice. 

Just like how you can’t change the death of a loved one. 

You can’t change the course of a river that’s already flowing. 

But you can still hold onto the memories. 

Giyuu spent the next few days properly burying Tsutako. He buried her in the kimono she would’ve been married in, as she deserved to look her very best. 

It also allowed him to hold onto her haori, so he could never forget her. 

When all was done, he collapsed to the floor of the house. Completely grief stricken, Giyuu wouldn’t move for days. He only snapped out of the daze when he finally decided to leave the house for good.

He couldn’t bear to stay near the place where he’d lost Tsutako. 

He had her haori. 

And that was enough. 

Giyuu had only managed to get his haori folded and put aside by the time he couldn’t move. All the past memories he’d wished to forget had all come flooding back from the one comment Shinazugawa made. He’d hoped that it would never happen again, but, each time, it did. 

He couldn’t escape the memories that would constantly drown his mind. 

The hours crept by at a snail’s pace. Giyuu’s grief always felt like it lasted far longer than it did, especially due to getting lost in his past. He couldn’t escape the pain, the grief, any of it.

It always managed to find him. 

Chapter Text

Daybreak came, and Sanemi woke up in his washtub. He’d fallen asleep there the night before after attempting to quell his flashbacks. He sat up with a groan, before placing a hand on his forehead.

Being struck with a headache first thing in the morning was something that nobody wanted. Regardless, Sanemi just chose to ignore it and get out of the tub. 

The night before hadn’t been a pleasant one, and it resulted in Sanemi’s, already messy, bedroom being even more cluttered than usual. Sketchbooks lay open and spread across the floor, his jacket covering the bedding of his futon, and drawing supplies were strewn about the entire area.

Dammit, this is going to take ages to deal with.

Stepping over, Sanemi began to gather the sketchbooks before anything else. Even though some of the drawings might’ve caused the hellish flashbacks, he still couldn’t let them stay on the floor. 

They were the closest thing he had to his family anymore.

After what felt like ages, Sanemi had finally gotten the sketchbooks stored back to where they’d be safe. His drawing supplies were also put back where they belonged–their proper bags. 

Just when Sanemi thought he’d be able to think for a moment, he was interrupted by the squawking of his Kasugai crow, Sorai.

“NEW MISSION FROM THE MASTER! NEW MISSION FROM THE MASTER!”

At least it’s something to be distracted with.

Sanemi moved over to the window of his room and opened it. Sorai promptly settled down on the windowsill.

“There have been reports of townspeople disappearing in the north! A demon is lurking nearby and the master has requested for two hashira to investigate!”

What kind of demon could require two hashira?

“Who’s the other hashira involved?”

“The master has decided to keep it confidential!”

“Well that’s just great…”

Sanemi was never a fan of not knowing who he’d be working with from the beginning. It usually led to many issues within the mission, but if it was simply information gathering, then it couldn’t be too bad. 

“You are to meet with the other hashira by sundown!”

With that in mind, he was going to have to leave sooner rather than later. There was no real telling how far away the meeting spot was, so it was better to be on the earlier side of things. 

Leaving sooner was definitely a good call. 

By the time Sanemi was halfway to where he needed to be, the sun had already begun its descent in the sky. He would still make it on time, but it was going to be a close call. Time was something that he felt shouldn’t be wasted, especially not on a mission. 

As he continued to follow behind Sorai, Sanemi’s mind couldn’t help but flicker back to the previous night. His flashbacks seemed to be getting worse recently, but he didn’t do anything about them. 

He could handle them, he was a hashira, what couldn’t he handle?

Sanemi’s mind flickered back to the half-finished portraits of Genya. His steady steps faltered for a moment, but he continued marching along. As long as Sanemi could keep him pushed away, Genya would be safe.

As they stood in front of freshly made graves, neither of them spoke a word. 

Sanemi had his hands formed in a silent blessing to his mother, Sumi, Koto, Teiko, Hiroshi, and Shuya. His face was completely blank, void of any form of emotion, other than a few stray tears falling down his face.

Genya, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. 

He stood next to Sanemi with tears streaming down his face. Genya’s sniffling was the only sound the either brother could hear. 

The laughter that they shared mere hours before was gone, replaced with only grief. 

With only a hint of hesitation, Sanemi began to walk away from the graves. He didn’t wait for Genya to notice, he just left. Although, it didn’t take long for the younger brother to realize. 

“Aniki..? Where are you going?”

Sanemi didn’t respond. He just kept walking. 

“Aniki? Why won’t you say anything?”

Genya began to run after Sanemi, who showed no sign of stopping. 

The two continued to walk, but Sanemi was much faster than Genya was. He didn’t seem to care if he left the other behind. 

“Aniki, slow down! You’re leaving me behind!”

Genya’s pleading as he tried to keep up with his brother fell upon deaf ears. 

Sanemi still showed no reaction. 

He just kept walking. 

By the time Sanemi realized he’d been lost in his thoughts again, it was already starting to get dark. 

Dammit. 

Sanemi quickly picked up the pace. He knew that, whichever hashira he’d be on the mission with, he was going to be criticized if he was late. He just had to stop focusing on the flashbacks for now. 

Unfortunately, his mind didn’t feel like letting up on him today. 

Each step seemed to have its own thought engraved into it. Sanemi was forced to recall that night over and over again as he continued to follow behind Sorai. 

How much longer is this going to go on? 

It felt like forever. 

“Aniki! Please don’t go!’

Genya’s cries rang out through the forest. Sanemi still didn’t slow, but, for the first time in hours, his steps faltered. 

He didn’t want to leave, but he had to. 

It was for Genya’s safety that he did. 

Each cry that Sanemi heard made him want to turn back. He wanted to go back, to comfort Genya, but he couldn’t. 

He’d already failed to protect his siblings once. 

Sanemi didn’t want it to happen again. 

Even if it meant ignoring Genya forever. 

Even if it meant renouncing him as his brother forever. 

Even if it meant being alone forever. 

When Sanemi finally reached the meeting point, he was completely out of it. His normal, displeased face was nowhere to be seen. Instead, it was more stoic, yet still contained a hint of grief. 

Focus on the mission. Just focus on the mission.

Sanemi had to start repeating that thought to clear his head. However, the mantra was interrupted by the one voice he hadn’t been expecting to hear.

“Shinazugawa.”

God damn it, of course this mission had to be with him. 

“Tomioka.”

He greeted coldly. 

The expression of grief that Sanemi had quickly melted from his face, now being replaced with the same displeased look that he’d grown used to wearing. 

“I didn’t think this mission would be with you.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Two sentences in, and Sanemi was already at Tomioka’s throat. 

“I wasn’t expecting Oyakata-sama to pair us up, simple as that.”

“Whatever.”

Sanemi replied in a huff. This was the exact reason he didn’t like going on missions without knowing who they were with first. 

“Do you know the city that we’re going to? Or have you been kept in as much of the dark as I have? 

“All I was told is that we’re here to gather information.”

“Great.”

The sounds of Sorai and Tomioka’s crow could be heard overhead, assumingly exchanging information. Sanemi didn’t know how much more squawking he could put up with.

“It looks like we’re supposed to keep following them.”

“You don’t say?”

Sanemi didn’t get a response to that. 

Instead, Tomioka took off behind the two crows. Sanemi scoffed and followed behind. 

Something about that felt… familiar to him. 

Sanemi brushed off the feeling, he didn’t need to be going back into flashbacks, especially not in front of Tomioka of all people. He just needed to focus on the mission at hand. 

Not himself, not Tomioka, the mission. Sanemi wasn’t going to let more people die. 

The lack of conversation between the two hashira was only filled with the sounds of a bustling city in the distance. It was the perfect place for a demon to pick off unsuspecting victims. Loud, crowded, and popular at night. 

As they approached the entrance to the city, Sanemi began to study the outside. He was searching for any ways in or out that didn’t involve the main entrance. There had to be a way that the demon snuck in and out without detection. 

Once inside the city, Sanemi was able to see many ways that a demon could get in and out.

There were many vendors lining the streets, as well as traders bartering with them. The city appeared to be a hotspot for doing business, so there would always be people coming in and out. Any demon present would be able to slip in without detection, pick off whoever they wanted, then just as easily slip out. 

Although the city was a perfect spot for demons, it also allowed for corps members to gather information easier. Anyone could talk to the people living in the city, or the vendors, and talk about anything that they wanted. Finding the demon would still be a difficult task, however. 

Any information gathering should be saved for later, Sanemi and Tomioka had to settle first. 

It only took them a few minutes to find a house with a Wisteria Family Crest. It made sense that they would be plentiful in a city like this. The only unfortunate thing was that they had to share a room. Each house always had more than one futon, but it was still less than ideal for Sanemi. 

Each second they were in that room was a struggle for Sanemi. 

He could tell that there was something Tomioka wanted to say, but he just wouldn’t spit it out. With an annoyed sigh, Sanemi broke the silence. 

“Whatever you want to say, just say it.”

“There isn’t anything I want to say.”

“Bullshit. You’ve been staring at me since we got in the room, so spit it out.”

Tomioka still didn’t respond. 

“Fine then, stop staring at me.”

In an attempt to ignore him, Sanemi got out his sketchbook. He’d decided to bring it just in case he’d ended up in a situation like this. It served to get his mind off of things, plus, it was a decent way to help him think about how to go about the mission in general. 

Unfortunately, the peace that it usually brought felt dull. Something about Tomioka just nullified the effects the sketchbook brought for Sanemi. He continued in his attempts to ignore the other hashira, but it wasn’t successful. 

Especially when Tomioka finally decided to say something.

“Why do you have a sketchbook?”

“None of your business.”

“It seems impractical to have that on a mission.”

“And? It’s not going to kill someone to have a sketchbook with them.”

“What’s so important about having it?” 

“None of your business.”

The conversation was going nowhere. Both Sanemi and Tomioka knew it, so, like usual, Tomioka stopped talking. 

At least he stopped staring this time.

Chapter Text

Sanemi didn’t get much sleep that night. 

There was something about having to sleep mere feet away from Tomioka that left him unsettled. The man was the enigma of the hashira. Stoic, cold, silent. It was a miracle that he talked to anyone during missions, much less during the hashira meetings. 

Why does he seem to be so interested in talking now?

That thought plagued Sanemi throughout the night, despite his attempts to think of anything else. He didn’t understand Tomioka, and he was fine with that, so why couldn’t he stop thinking about the change in behavior? 

Somebody needed to hit him over the head.

Instead of letting the thoughts about Tomioka entertain themselves, Sanemi opted to reach for his sketchbook instead. It might’ve held its own connections to bad memories, but he’d rather deal with those thoughts, than ones about Tomioka.

Flipping through the pages, Sanemi settled on one that was completely blank. No current bad memories were contained on it, so it should be perfect. His pencil began to sketch across the page, but it felt strangely heavy. Drawing was a task that Sanemi enjoyed, he did it as a way to calm down, and it never felt so straining before. 

He had to be going insane at this point.

Sanemi pushed past the feelings, ignoring them like usual, and just continued to draw. The lack of lighting in the room made some parts difficult, but the contrast against the paper helped get closer to the comforting feeling that he’d been aiming for. Each stroke felt as easy as taking a breath. 

Regardless of the comfort that was provided, Sanemi still couldn’t fall asleep throughout the night. Simply being aware of Tomioka’s presence was making sleeping an impossible task. 

In the end, he drew until sunrise. 

As sunlight poured in through the windows, Sanemi finally put his sketchbook away. Throughout the night he could hear that Tomioka hadn’t slept, either. The other man kept shifting around too much to be asleep. Sanemi didn’t know, nor care, why Tomioka hadn’t slept, he just wished that he’d been quiet about his own struggles with sleeping. 

The silence in the room felt a bit deafening. Tomioka had ceased almost all movement, so the sound of shifting bedding was gone. Now Sanemi wondered why that had happened. He sure as hell wasn’t going to ask why, but it did seem a bit strange. 

Let’s just get this over with.

After letting out an annoyed sigh, Sanemi decided to be the one to break the silence.

“Tomioka.”

No response.

God damn it.

“Tomioka. Wake the hell up.”

Once again, there wasn’t a response. Although, Tomioka shifted in his bedding, before sitting up. 

What’s his problem?

Before letting his mind wander any farther in concern about Tomioka, Sanemi looked away. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingertips and took a deep breath. Now was not the time to be getting distracted.

“How do you want to do things today?”

“Hm?”

You’ve got to be kidding me. Isn’t he listening at all?

“Where do you want to ask around for information? Oyakata-sama didn’t send us here to just sit around.”

“...”

Really? No response again? What the hell is up with him?

“You can decide.”

Leave it to Tomioka to not know how to handle doing things with others.

“Fine, I’ll take the northern half of the city, you take the southern half.”

Even though Sanemi was offering to take the bigger half of the city, that still didn’t solve all issues. He could see that Tomioka was a bit hesitant, but he didn’t start acting difficult. For once, at least.

“When do you want to meet for the night, then?”

“You really don’t have any ideas of your own for this mission, do you?

Sanemi knew that was an offhanded comment, but he didn’t care. Tomioka had gotten on his nerves a bit too much for that. 

Like usual, no response.

“Fine then. Meet at the restaurant we passed on our way here an hour after sundown.”

“Alright.”

At least he’s as agreeable to mission terms as he is unresponsive.

The rest of Sanemi and Tomioka’s time together passed without much conversation. They didn’t even end up eating together, since Tomioka refused to stay in the room with Sanemi for even a moment more. This behavior was really starting to get on Sanemi’s nerves, but the mission was more important.

Getting the arrangements for the mission was the easy part, now came the actual information gathering. Sanemi had gotten used to getting information out of people, even if it annoyed the hell out of him sometimes. People just decided to get on his nerves too often.

At least I don’t have to see Tomioka until tonight.

When he realized he was thinking about Tomioka again, Sanemi’s steps faltered.

Dammit, why can’t I stop thinking about that asshole?

With a groan, he just continued to walk. He needed to be focusing on the mission, not where his mind was starting to wander. Sanemi wasn’t going to let more people get picked off by a demon just because he couldn’t keep his line of thinking focused. 

Sanemi started off his information gathering by speaking with a few shop owners. They weren’t of much help, considering how busy things would get during the periods of time that people would disappear. So that was a dead end.

Then, he tried asking some of the people that lived around the most common areas where disappearances had happened. 

Still nothing.

Finally, Sanemi found a semblance of a lead when he spoke to an elderly woman who lived by the edge of the city. She explained that she’d been hearing strange voices during the night, but it was never the same voice twice. 

Strange voices… interesting

Something about that felt familiar to Sanemi, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Now armed with the information about strange voices, Sanemi was finally able to get some information out of people. 

The shop owners confirmed that they had heard a few strange voices. Though, they admitted that they hadn’t brought it up before since they thought it wasn’t anything special. It was a big city, strange voices were pretty common. 

Those living in the places of common disappearances explained that, not only had they heard strange voices, some of them had also seen people following the trail of the voices. 

Those people never ended up coming back. 

Bingo.

Sanemi had located the most recent spots of disappearances, discovered the demon’s means of leading them astray, and managed to find people he knew could give him information. With this luck, he might be able to deal with this demon before sunrise tomorrow. Although, he should still share his findings with Tomioka. 

They were technically a team, even though it didn’t feel like it. 

Regardless, it was starting to get late. Sanemi needed to get back to the meet-up spot, even though he’d rather handle this demon alone. 

He was only doing this because the Master asked it to be done that way. 

Not for any other reason. 

He wasn’t going to let it be for any other reason. 

He couldn’t. 

As he made his way to the agreed restaurant, Sanemi couldn’t help but feel like something was watching him. Becoming a demon slayer usually led to feelings of paranoia, but this one was different than the rest. It felt… familiar somehow. He just couldn’t quite place it. 

Now wasn’t the time for Sanemi to be getting distracted.

Being surrounded by crowds of people didn’t do much for Sanemi’s paranoia, but at least he couldn’t get singled out here. Demons were bloodthirsty, yes, but this one seemed to only single victims out. It was going to have to try harder to get his attention. 

Or at least, that’s what he thought.

By the time he reached the restaurant, Giyuu was already waiting at a table for him. Sanemi couldn’t help but notice how out of it the Water Hashira appeared. Was he-

Why am I still thinking like that about him? Fuck. This mission is annoying.

Another grumble left Sanemi’s throat as he made his way over to the table. He sat down with a slight huff and avoided eye contact with Giyuu.

“Did you find anything out?”

Sanemi was a bit surprised that he wasn’t the one having to start the conversation.

“Apparently the demon uses voices to lure people away, and it’s usually in the outskirts of the city.”

“That’s about what I was told as well.”

I was kind of hoping for more, but at least he got something.

“About? Did people tell you anything else?”

“Well, someone mentioned seeing a figure at night, but that’s about it.”

Tomioka was actually exceeding some of Sanemi’s expectations. How peculiar. 

“Chances are it was the demon, did they mention how long ago it was?”

Tomioka shook his head. 

“Damn. That would’ve been useful if it had been recent.”

There was a promising lead that ended up going nowhere. That was more of what Sanemi had been expecting Tomioka to come back with. After all, if he couldn’t even interact well with the other hashira, how could he gather information well? 

“I have a feeling we’re not going to find much else out from the townspeople, we should look around ourselves.”

This time, Tomioka just nodded.

What was wrong with him? Why the hell isn’t he talking anymore?

“You take south, I’ll take north, just like what we did for information gathering.”

Another nod.

“Are you gonna fucking say something? Or are you just gonna keep nodding and shaking your head at me?”

This was really starting to get on Sanemi’s nerves.

“I didn’t have anything else to add.”

Son of a bitch, really?

“Whatever, let’s just get a move on.”

Sanemi was done with Tomioka’s antics. He didn’t have time for this, and he was pretty damn sure that it was just taking away from the mission itself. 

Even though he was getting some weird looks from people, Sanemi didn’t care. He just needed to find wherever this demon was hiding out. He wasn’t going to let it take anymore lives, not while he was actively there. 

By the time Sanemi reached the outskirts of the northern part of the city, the sun was already down. The demon was going to be out on the prowl, so he was going to have to keep himself on edge. Something told him that this wasn’t a simple case of disappearances caused by a fledgling demon. 

That’s when he heard it.

Sanemi whipped his body around and began running in the opposite direction as before. He’d heard a voice calling out a name, so he wasn’t going to ignore it. Chances were that it was either the demon, someone being targeted by the demon, or just a regular townsperson. Regardless, he wasn’t going to take any chances. 

When he arrived where he’d heard the voice calling from, it was already gone. 

Damn it.

If it was the demon, then he’d missed it. If it was a victim, then he was too late. If it was just a person, then everything was fine. Sanemi was really hoping that it was the last option. 

Then he heard the voice again.

And again. 

And again.

It was calling to him.

Sanemi spun around, but he didn’t see anything. All he could hear was the voice calling out to him.

It was familiar. Too familiar. 

That’s when he saw it. A figure standing in the woods. Sanemi’s first instinct was to run towards it, until he heard the voice better. 

“-iki!”

Is that..?

“Aniki!”

The figure, the voice, could it really be-

“Genya?”

Chapter Text

Before the logical part of him even had a chance to begin working, Sanemi already found himself running towards the figure. If that voice really was Genya, then he had to do something about it. Sanemi wasn’t going to let his only family be anywhere near a demon ever again. 

By the time he reached the area that he’d heard Genya’s voice from, Sanemi stopped to look around. He could feel his heart thrumming in his chest, but he didn’t care. He just needed to see if Genya was actually here. Sanemi checked over both of his shoulders, but still, nothing.

“Dammit… where did it go…”

Sanemi knew he’d seen a figure in the woods, but now it was gone. He had a bad feeling that he couldn’t seem to shake, but he just had to figure out what he had seen. If all else failed, it was at least a lead on the demon he and Tomioka were supposed to find.

The forest seemed to go on for quite a while, so it meant that there was going to be a lot to sift through. Right as Sanemi was about to begin traversing it, he heard the signature snap of a stick about fifteen meters away. He checked his surroundings, then went to where he’d heard the sound. Sure enough, a cracked stick lay at his feet.

“Whatever it is… it sure is being obvious.”

As Sanemi tried to take a moment to think, his thoughts were interrupted. He heard a voice call out to him again, but this time it was different. It didn’t sound like Genya’s, it was slightly deeper. He knew he’d heard it somewhere before, but he couldn’t figure out where. Sanemi couldn’t really afford to brush it off, but, for some reason, he felt like he could. 

Then, he started hearing two voices from two different angles.

Sanemi tried whipping around and running to the voices, but whenever he got close, the voice would disappear. Each time this happened, it earned another, more annoyed, groan from him. 

“What the fuck is happening.”

By the time Sanemi had begun to get pissed off, he couldn’t find the voice. He couldn’t see the figure. He could only run around trying to get closer, even though he wasn’t making any sort of progress. Eventually, he decided to try and return to the city, but he couldn’t remember which way was which. 

There were no lights. 

There were no sounds of a city. 

There were only the sounds of a forest. 

The sounds of the forest seemed to be endless these days

Sanemi had been wandering mindlessly since the night he murdered his mother. It had plagued his mind constantly. Genya’s words, his tears, the feeling of numbness, all of it. He’d found some peace in wandering the forest, but even that was limited. He’d managed to arm himself with some knives and garden tools, but even that wasn’t going to be enough to survive forever. 

He’d just been killing everything in sight. 

Every night, Sanemi would be ambushed by demons, but they always seemed to act strangely around him. He didn’t know why they seemed sluggish around him, but it didn’t matter. He’d mutilate the demon, then hang up the corpse for the sun to take care of. It might not have been the most effective way to handle them, but it was the best he could do. 

By the time Sanemi finally wandered back into a random town, his body felt heavy with guilt, grief, aches, and general need for rest. He felt like he was going to collapse the moment he managed to find a place to sleep. Before he could do even that, Sanemi’s legs crumpled beneath him, and he slumped over next to the side of a building. 

Sun beamed into his face. 

He could feel cracks in his hands. 

He felt like he was dying. 

Suddenly, the sun seemed to disappear. Sanemi thought that he might’ve slept until night, but when he opened his eyes, he was met with the gaze of another person. He didn’t really react, but instead, just stared back at them. 

When the person reached a hand out to him, Sanemi took it carefully. He wasn’t sure who this was, but he felt like he could try to trust them. After all, it wasn’t like he had much to lose at this point. 

But when Sanemi saw that smile, he felt the first bit of color in his life since he’d lost his family. 

He felt like he could trust this person. 

For the first time since he became what he was, a murderer, Sanemi felt… safe. 

The voices still hadn’t stopped. 

In fact, they’d gotten louder. 

And it felt like there were more of them. 

The lack of sleep Sanemi had gotten the night before was certainly catching up with him by this point. He wasn’t used to getting a lot of sleep, but the complete lack of it was taking somewhat of a toll on his focus. He was starting to remember some things he wished had stayed pushed down. 

As the voices continued to echo around him, Sanemi could feel himself getting more distracted. He needed to find the figure, find the source of the voices, and get back out of the forest. Unfortunately, the voices weren’t getting any easier to find. 

Finally, Sanemi just settled on shouting. 

“Get out here, dammit!”

Surprisingly, the voices stopped. 

Then, the figure reappeared.

”Is that really all it took?”

Sanemi wasn’t impressed in the slightest, but he was a bit less annoyed. He would at least be able to try and find out who this person was, and why they were so deep in the forest. 

Getting a clearer look of the figure allowed Sanemi to see that they still didn’t have any discernible features. He could tell something was off, but he couldn’t figure out what it was no matter how hard he tried. Sanemi continued walking forward, until he felt a haze overtake his mind. He placed a hand to his forehead as he looked towards the figure again. It appeared to be a woman, but that was all that Sanemi could really see before he felt his body hit the ground, and his eyes fall shut.

☆☆☆

When Giyuu turned around to see that Shinazugawa was gone, he was surprised. It wasn’t like the wind hashira to just disappear on a mission, so something else had to be at play. Almost immediately, Giyuu put together that it had to have been the demon they’d been searching for.

Giyuu carefully took off in the direction of the forest. He wasn’t quite sure which way Shinazugawa had gone, but he knew that something had to have gone wrong for him to just disappear. Giyuu didn’t waste any time in entering the forest and listening for any sign of the other hashira’s presence. 

A slight breeze.

Some birds cawing. 

The slightly distant bustling of the city. 

Nothing was out of the ordinary. 

Yet Giyuu still couldn’t shake the bad feeling he had. 

The entire forest seemed to have this strange aura to it that Giyuu just couldn’t identify. He knew that it was likely the demon he and Shinazugawa were searching for, but for the blood demon art to cover the entirety of the forest, the demon would have to be incredibly strong. Giyuu was going to have to find Shinazugawa before doing anything else at this rate.

Giyuu continued to walk through the forest in an observant manner. The moment he saw something off, or heard something off, he was going to investigate. It would be the best way to find Shinazugawa, as well as potentially find the demon.

Maybe this was the lead the two of them had been searching for throughout the day. 

As Giyuu continued on through the forest, there was still nothing. He didn’t hear any screams, stray sticks breaking, breathing, none of it. The forest seemed like just that, a forest. Giyuu didn’t stop looking though, he needed to keep searching for Shinazugawa and the demon. There was something here, he just had to keep looking.

That’s when Giyuu heard something. 

There was a small rustling sound coming from a nearby tree. Without waiting another moment, Giyuu rushed over to the tree. Inside, he found nothing. Another potential lead gone instantly. 

”Something had to be here… so maybe it’s still around.”

Another bush rustled. 

Giyuu went over to it. 

Nothing was there. 

The lack of anything unusual in the forest, minus the self-rustling bushes, made part of Giyuu just want to leave, but he wasn’t going to leave until he found Shinazugawa. If the demon was also present nearby, then that problem would also be taken care of. For now, Giyuu just had to not get distracted by the semi strange occurrences around him.

One moment passed, a bush rustled.

The next, a tree rustled. 

Giyuu was beginning to get annoyed. He wasn’t really one to get annoyed, yet this disappearing and reappearing rustling of leaves was managing to do it. This had to be the demon playing tricks on him, so this was just its goal. Get him annoyed, and watch him crumble against its blood demon art. At least, that’s what Giyuu thought until the sounds changed. 

They went from rustling. 

To a voice. 

It wasn’t Shinazugawa’s voice, but it was definitely a familiar one. Hearing it struck too familiar a chord with Giyuu. It made him feel a sense of sorrow that he’d only felt when recalling his childhood. He just had to ignore the voice. Same as the rustling. It just had to be the demon at work.

But then the voice got closer.

And closer. 

And closer. 

And more familiar. 

That’s when Giyuu realized whose voice he was hearing. It was a voice he hadn’t heard in years. One that he never thought that he’d hear again. 

It was Sabito’s. 

The moment that Giyuu put together that he was hearing Sabito’s voice, he froze. Sabito was dead, he knew that, but that didn’t explain where the voice had come from. He wanted to go towards the voice, but that wasn’t a good idea. Fortunately, he managed to keep his feet in place as he thought of what to do.

”Don’t go near the voice.”

”Don’t go near the voice.”

”Don’t go near-”

Giyuu could feel his resolve begin to crumble when he heard a different voice begin to call out to him. It wasn’t Shinazugawa’s, nor Sabito’s. 

It had changed to Tsutako’s. 

That was the straw that finally made Giyuu break. He began moving towards the voice, even though he knew it wasn’t really her. Just being near something that could’ve been Tsutako made Giyuu feel the most hope he’d felt in ages. By the time he reached where he heard the voice, he could see a figure that looked like Tsutako, but there were some things that were definitely off. 

The face of the figure lacked definition. All of its body lacked detail. The clothes that it was wearing didn’t even look like clothes, they looked like they were a part of the body. Giyuu stopped in his tracks, but that was before he noticed Shinazugawa laying next to the figure. 

“Shinazugawa! Get up!”

Just the sight of Shinazugawa’s body laying there made Giyuu know that he’d run into the demon. Chances were that this figure was either the demon itself, or, it was the demon’s tricks at work. Regardless, he needed the other hashira to be awake. This demon was dangerous to people on their own, so Giyuu wasn’t going to be able to take it down by himself. 

”Damn, he’s out cold. What is this demon capable of?”

Giyuu could see how the odds were stacked against him, but that had never stopped him from taking on missions before. He shouldn’t have lived past the final selection, so there was no harm if he died on a mission. Shinazugawa, however, was an important pillar in the Demon Slayer Corps. If he died, then the corps would be at a significant disadvantage. 

“I see you’re trying to figure things out.”

The demon’s voice rang out, sending chills down Giyuu’s spine.

Being cautious, he didn’t dare reply.

“What? Afraid I can control you if you respond? Is that what you think happened to your partner here?”

The demon certainly seemed cocky, which Giyuu might be able to use. 

“Come on, don’t just let me keep talking to myself.”

“What are you?”

Giyuu finally weighed the options enough to make a decision. If he could get the demon distracted, then he could possibly wake Shinazugawa up. If the other hashira woke up, then they’d be able to overpower the demon. 

“I’m a demon, isn’t that obvious? You hashira are much dumber than you’re made out to be.”

Even though Giyuu didn’t make a face, the demon could tell that the comment had offended him.

“What? Is that not enough for you? Do you want my life story? Or, do you just want me to spell out every single one of my secrets?”

“What did you do to him?”

Before the demon responded, Giyuu watched as its form suddenly changed. It now looked like a normal woman. She had plain black hair that was kept in a low bun. She was dressed in a black and red kimono with a white obi. The only abnormal thing was the kanji in the demon’s eyes. 

Lower moon five.

While normally, Giyuu wouldn’t break a sweat while fighting a lower moon, he felt his breathing stagger as he realized something else.

There was an X made over the kanji of the demon’s eye. 

Even if the demon had once been lower moon five, that X meant that she wasn’t anymore. With Shinazugawa being incapacitated, it was clear to Giyuu that she was much stronger than any lower moon he’d dealt with in quite some time. 

“Don’t worry, he’s simply asleep for now. Is there anything else that you care to waste my time by asking?”

“Why haven’t you killed him yet?”

The demon laughed.

“I simply like to play with my victims before I kill them. Besides, a marechi as potent as him should always be devoured specially.”

”No wonder she lured him away first.”

“Who are you?”

The demon smiled. Her teeth were incredibly sharp, and there still appeared to be a slight tinge of blood on her frontmost fangs. Shinazugawa definitely wasn’t her first attempt at a meal for the night.

“My name is Kikumune.”

Hearing her name made Giyuu realize something.

“You can create visions and illusions, can’t you?”

“Well, look who finally figured it out.”

Before anything else could be said, Kikumune’s form changed once again. Now, it resembled that of Sabito. Giyuu felt sick to his stomach at the sight. 

“How the hell do you know who that is?”

“You think I’m going to tell you that? No, it’s much more interesting to do it this way.”
Kikumune paused, before her voice changed.

“Would you prefer if I sounded like this?”

She had changed her voice to sound like Sabito’s once again. Giyuu felt his stomach churn once again. He wasn’t sure if he could bear having to hear Sabito’s voice mix with the terrible words of a bloodthirsty beast. 

“Not a fan of seeing your dear friend again? I thought you’d be ecstatic.”

The teasing voice that Kikumune used finally broke Giyuu. He felt his heart ache as he stared into the kind lavender eyes he used to stare into when he was younger. He felt tears begin stinging at the back of his eyes, but he held them back. 

He just needed to get rid of the demon. 

This wasn’t Sabito. This was Kikumune. 

She didn’t deserve to be tarnishing Sabito and Tsutako’s memories. 

Giyuu took a deep breath in, before prepping his hand on his nichirin blade. He began to walk forwards as he prepared himself for any attack Kikumune might throw his way.

”Water Breathing, Fourth Form: Striking Tide.”

Charging forward, Giyuu leapt at Kikumune. He landed a few blows, but none of them managed to hit her head. The smell of ash surrounded them as the demon’s body parts disintegrated around them. 

“You really think something as simple as that can take me down?”

Giyuu didn’t respond. 

“You’re certainly the least interesting hashira I’ve ever dealt with.”

Kikumune’s form shifted back to her original one, and her voice changed back to normal. She’d grown bored of trying to mess with Giyuu’s mind through Sabito’s form. Her face was resting in an almost scowl, until it changed to a wide smile. 

“Why are you just standing there? Most hashira would charge me the first chance they get.”

“I’m not-”

“Not what? Reckless? Of course you are.”

Kikumune let out a soft laugh.

“All humans are reckless. That’s why they die.”

”I’m not a hashira.”

Giyuu’s hand found itself tightening on the handle of his blade once again. His face reflected none of his emotions, but Kikumune still spotted everything off with him. She ran her tongue over her fangs and cleared the red tint off of them. 

“Struck a nerve, hm? Can’t handle hearing that death is just the result of recklessness?”

Did that mean? No- no Kikumune wasn’t right. If she was, then Tsutako and Sabito were just trying to be reckless. That..

That would mean they didn’t actually want to try and save him. 

They just hadn’t been thinking properly.

Giyuu knew that he didn’t deserve to be here. 

With there now being an opening, Kikumune went in for an actual attack. 

She launched herself towards Giyuu as her hand was aimed directly at his head. Luckily, he snapped out of his thoughts and deflected her attack with his sword. This sent Kikumune towards a tree, but she flipped herself around midair and landed on her feet. 

“Hm, maybe you do actually have the skill to be called a hashira.”

☆☆☆

By the time Sanemi managed to regain consciousness, it was clear that he’d missed a lot. For starters, Tomioka had showed up. The water hashira seemed to be fighting the demon, but he couldn’t be sure. Sanemi could still feel his head pounding, but he stood up anyway.

”Dammit, Tomioka is fighting and I’m standing here delirious.”

Sanemi checked his hip and was relieved to see that he still had his sword. The demon hadn’t taken it, so he must not have been out for long. At least he hadn’t missed much. 

“Tomioka, what’s the demon’s deal!?”

“Illusions, she can swap her form! But I think she can also see your memories!”

That was about the last thing that Sanemi wanted to hear. He trusted Tomioka’s judgment on the demon, which was the concerning part. He’d been chasing after the demon all night, but only because he thought it was Genya. 

The damn thing had taken Genya’s likeness just to toy with him. 

Pathetic.

Why could he never seem to avoid falling for a demon’s illusions?

It was gone. The demon was gone. But so was Masachika.

Sanemi didn’t want to believe it. 

They’d fought together. They’d killed the demon together, but Masachika lay in his arms dying. And it was all because of him. If he’d just managed to not get entranced by the demon’s abilities, then Masachika might be alive right now.

Sanemi clutched Masachika’s body closer to himself. He didn’t want to let go of another kind soul. He’d already lost enough of those in his life. He could feel his hands shaking as he looked down into his colleague’s bloodied face.

“Don’t… don’t leave me behind. Please.”

He couldn’t stand to be alone again. 

“Sanemi… keep going… alright?”

For the first time since his mother’s death, Sanemi felt tears coming to his eyes. He watched as Masachika took his last breath, then passed on in his arms. Cool tears slid down his face as he stared on in disbelief. 

Another person lost. 

Another person he cared for. 

Another person who was like family. 

“Why..?”

“Why does god hate me so much..?”

Dwelling on the past wasn’t going to help with anything. Sanemi slapped some sense into himself and unsheathed his katana. Now wasn’t the time to be slipping back into past habits. 

Before anything else, Sanemi ran his arm against his sword. It cut into his arm, forming a gash, and allowed blood to roll down it in thick drips. The sting kept him alive, and the scent would get the demon off of its edge. 

”Wind Breathing, First Form: Dust Whirlwind Cutter.”

Sanemi launched himself forwards as he released slashes into the air in front of him. They cut through the air towards Kikumune at blinding speed, with him close behind. The scent of his mariachi blood was mixed in with the wind, and it was sure to throw off the demon’s battle senses. 

As the slashes connected with parts of the demon’s body, Sanemi looked over to Tomioka. The water hashira looked to be alright, which relaxed him a bit. He’d never admit it, but he was glad that Tomioka wasn’t faced with harm from the demon. 

Sanemi turned his attention back to the demon, to find that her head hadn’t been removed. He gripped his sword tighter and gritted his teeth. She’d managed to dodge the attacks just well enough to avoid a fatal wound, which was going to be problematic. Sanemi looked back over to Tomioka, and he could tell that the other man had the same idea.

Attacking at the same time. 

If Kikumune was able to change her form at will, there had to be some sort of limitation. She couldn’t dodge, change her form, and attack them all at the same time. If Sanemi and Tomioka attacked at the same time, Tomioka could deflect her attacks, and Sanemi could go in for the kill. 

With that, they put their thoughts into motion.

Sanemi jumped back as Kikumune raised an arm for an attack. Her attack was blocked by Tomioka’s eleventh form, Dead Calm. Sanemi still wasn’t sure how it worked, but, regardless, it did, and that’s what allowed for the opening that he needed. 

“Go to hell!”

”Wind Breathing, Eight Form: Primary Gale Slash!”

Sanemi leapt into the air and unleashed torrents of slashes towards Kikumune. Her kimono was caught by one slash, which quickly turned to an arm being removed from her body. 

The next slash hit her across the chest, bifurcating her at an angle.

The next removed her other arm. 

Leaves were being picked up due to the gusts of wind forming, but Sanemi and Tomioka still had a clear view of what to do. They kept their hands on their katanas in case Kikumune managed to pull any last tricks. 

As the last slash made its way towards Kikumune’s neck, they both could feel their breathing relax. It might not have been a long fight, but Sanemi and Tomioka had gone through a lot. 

Finally, the last slash cut directly through the demon’s neck.

Her head hit the floor of the forest. 

And the smell of ash followed. 

With the demon’s head disintegrating, Sanemi re-sheathed his katana. He stared at Kikumune’s body with disdain, his usual scowl returning to his face. Sanemi began to walk away, until he heard snickering from behind him. He whipped back around, only to see that it was the demon’s head. 

“Congrats, you got me. But was it that strong of a feat?”

Sanemi didn’t respond. The demon was just making a last ditch effort to piss him off.

“I wonder… is this how your mother felt in her dying breaths…?”

The mention of his mother made something inside Sanemi snap. A vein popped out on his forehead, but that was the only external sign of his anger and grief.

Once again, Kikumune picked up on the change in body language.

“Ha… the hashira really have fallen…”

Her voice faded out, before her head disintegrated into the night sky. 

Chapter Text

As he watched the ends of Kikumune’s ashes float away into the night sky, Sanemi felt rage bubbling up throughout his body. His fists clenched at his side as he gritted his teeth. 

”Goddamn it…”

Sanemi couldn’t stand to stick around for any longer, so he turned his back to Tomioka and began walking away. He really wasn’t looking forward to having to explain anything else to the other hashira, that was for sure.

Before he could really get far, Tomioka called out to him.

“What was all of that?”

“Nothing.”

“...”

Silence passed between the two of them for a few moments, but it was Tomioka that broke it in the end. 

“It didn’t look like nothing.”

“Fine then, it’s none of your business.”

Sanemi had been expecting Tomioka to pry further, so he was pleasantly surprised when the other hashira just dropped it. Although, part of him knew that Tomioka wanted to pry further, he didn’t bother mentioning it.

Part of Sanemi also felt like Tomioka wouldn’t care.

But another part of him felt like the hashira truly wanted to know what was wrong.

In the end, Sanemi didn’t let either part of him win the argument. He just walked back to the house they’d stayed in the night before, and didn’t even bother to speak to anyone around him. 

Tomioka had followed Sanemi back to the house, but he’d stayed quiet the entire time. 

”At least he shut up about it.”

Tension in the room was high, but Sanemi didn’t care enough to try and resolve any of it. He just ended up reaching for his sketchbook, despite the fact that it might raise questions with Tomioka again. 

Flipping through the pages, Sanemi felt memories resonating within him over the smallest of things. It had to have been because of that damn demon. He would’ve been fine if the damn thing had just had a normal blood demon art. 

Eventually, Sanemi settled on a blank page in the sketchbook to start drawing some of his surroundings.There was an assortment of plants littering the corner of the room, so he set his sights on them.

As he began to draw, Sanemi’s mind began to wander. His thoughts shifted to memories that he’d tried to keep suppressed for quite some time. He couldn’t let them get the better of him this time. After all, Tomioka had already seen Sanemi in a state that he’d wished the other man hadn’t seen. 

He didn’t need a repeat of that not even an hour later. 

So, Sanemi just kept himself focused on his drawings as much as he could. 

Unfortunately for him, his mind didn’t want to focus on drawings. Sanemi kept having to stop himself from letting his mind drift back to painful memories, all fueled by mistakes he’d made. 

His brothers and sisters. 

His mother.

Masachika. 

Sanemi felt a familiar feeling bubbling up within him, and he needed to put a stop to it. Quickly, he stood up from where he’d sat down to sketch, and left the room without a word to Tomioka. At this point, he didn’t care if the other hashira asked him about it later. Sanemi was just going to keep his personal problems under wraps. 

Nobody else needed to know.

Nobody else deserved to know.

Eventually, Sanemi found himself resting against the side of the building they’d been staying in for the sake of the mission. He wasn’t going to be there for much longer, so there wasn’t much harm in some of the townsfolk taking curious glances at him. Sanemi didn’t care much for impressions with people he’d never see again, anyway.

After a few minutes of taking in the fresh air, Sanemi knew that he had to head back inside. There were still a few things that needed to be done before he and Tomioka could go their separate ways, and he wanted to be able to do that as soon as possible. 

”The more time away from that stoic bastard, the better.”

When he stepped back inside the room, Sanemi noticed that there was something off about Tomioka. He could see that something was bothering the other man, but that wasn’t any of his business. Sanemi just needed to stick to speaking strictly on business. 

“Tomioka.”

“Shinazugawa?”

“I’m leaving tomorrow at dawn. Feel free to leave at the same time, but don’t follow me.”

For some reason, Sanemi felt that it was necessary to tell Tomioka to not follow him. He knew that the other hashira never would, since he always had to feel like he was better than everyone else. Sanemi knew that Tomioka would rather die than act like he was among the other hashira.

“Alright.”

Tomioka didn’t even turn to look at Sanemi, which ticked him off to no end. He hated the way that he acted so unfazed by everything. Sanemi was doing his best to not snap at Tomioka, but the man certainly wasn’t making it easy.

Sanemi decided to just let it go, since he didn’t want to cause any more drama for the night. He just sighed and took his seat back by his bedding. Sanemi figured he should at least get a bit of rest before doing anything else. 

Even though he’d been laying in the bedding for a few hours at this point, Sanemi still had yet to get even a wink of sleep. Whenever he would close his eyes, he’d just start thinking about the hallucinations the demon had shown him. Not to mention, the damn thing’s words had stuck with Sanemi more than he’d like to admit.

”Is this how your mother felt in her dying breaths?”

Sanemi felt his teeth grind together just at the thought of the statement being accurate. He didn’t want to think about how his mother felt as she was dying. He already thought about that night enough. Not to mention, he hadn’t lost sleep over thinking about it in ages. 

After laying there for another few minutes, Sanemi just decided to cut his losses and not sleep. Besides, he’d gone longer without sleeping before, so what was one night without it? Sanemi sat up and looked over to Tomioka.

”Well at least someone is able to sleep.”

Sanemi sighed to himself as he made his way back outside. He looked up into the night sky and took in the bright stars that were staring back at him. He stood there for a few moments, before taking a seat on the ground outside of the house. Sanemi couldn’t remember the last time he had done this…

With a shaky breath in, Sanemi found himself letting tears come to his eyes as he stared at the grass beneath him. He moved his hands to his face and covered it with his palms. Every time he opened his eyes, all Sanemi could see were his cracked, calloused hands.

They used to be softer. 

They used to be more gentle. 

They used to be for caring for his brothers and sisters and now…

Now those same hands had taken away so much. 

They’d taken away his mother. 

They’d forced away Genya. 

They’d made him lose so much.

Sanemi couldn’t hold back his tears any longer as he finally let the weight of his past crush down on him. He hadn’t cried like this in at least a year, but the release it gave him left him feeling calmer. Eventually, Sanemi slumped his back against the house and looked up into the stars once more.

Each star his eyes drifted to was like the eyes of someone he’d lost staring back at him. Sanemi felt more tears well up in his eyes as he envisioned those that he’d lost being with him once more.

He wished that they were still with him. 

He wished he hadn’t pushed everyone away.

But it was for their safety. 

Sanemi only hurt those that got close to him. He’d seen it happen time and time again. 

Every promise he’d made. 

Every time he thought that he could let his walls down. 

Every time he finally began to relax. 

It just ended in misery. 

Even if he wanted to mend the relationships he’d lost, Sanemi knew that it would just cause more harm than good. 

He wanted more than anything to see his brother. 

But he couldn’t. 

Genya was meant to live a long, happy life. Genya couldn’t do that with him around. 

Not when Sanemi spent his life killing demons.

Not when he’d already done so much damage to his little brother. 

Sanemi couldn’t stand to see anything else happen to him. He just wanted to see Genya happy, like he deserved to be.

As his tears started to slow their descent down his face, Sanemi looked back down at the ground and sighed to himself. He knew that it wasn’t long before the sun was going to rise, so he was going to have to get back inside soon. Still, part of him wished that he had a bit more time to reflect, even though it would’ve only resulted in more tears. 

Swiftly, Sanemi stood up from the ground, brushed off the dirt that had stuck to his uniform, then made his way back inside. He sat back down on his bedding in silence and waited to see the first crack of light the sun would bring at dawn. Once he did, Sanemi rose from his position and grabbed his belongings.

“Tomioka. Get up. It’s dawn.”

Chapter Text

The smell of blood and ash was thick in the air as the two hashira stood at the body of the former member of the twelve kizuki. Giyuu was trying to process what the demon had tried forcing him to remember, but he was also wondering what could’ve made Shinazugawa act so recklessly. Sure, the techniques of wind breathing tended to be more erratic than water breathing, but there was still an intent behind each swing: an intent missing from Shinazugawa in his swings. 

Something had definitely happened, and Giyuu found himself wanting to know what it was. 

“What was all of that?”

The question hung in the air for a few moments as the wind hashira stood unmoving. Giyuu nearly tried calling out to Shinazugawa again, but he was stopped by the other man’s reply.

“Nothing.”

Another moment of silence passed as Giyuu debated calling Shinazugawa out on his lie. He knew he probably shouldn’t, but he just couldn’t stop himself. 

“It didn’t look like nothing.”

Giyuu watched the way that one of Shinazugawa’s hands clenched into a fist at his side. 

He’d definitely overstepped.

“Fine. Then it’s none of your business.”

With how the conversation was going, Giyuu decided to stop trying to get any more information about Shiazugawa. Unfortunately, this meant that he could only contemplate his own feelings of the situation. Usually, he’d try to find a way to ignore his emotions or bad memories, but something about that demon’s still-lingering presence stopped him from just pushing them out of his mind. 

It wasn’t until Shinazugawa started walking back towards the town that Giyuu realized he’d been spacing out again. He followed behind the wind hashira, and, as they walked the gravel path, he couldn’t help but think about how perfectly that demon had mimicked Tsutako and Sabito… it felt uncanny. 

It felt too familiar. 

Some of the things the demon said, the things she did, they felt like actions that only Sabito or Tsutako would want to take. The things she said when she looked like them felt too real.

How was he supposed to just forget about all of it? 

Ever since losing her, Giyuu had tried to forget about the night he’d lost Tsutako to demons. She’d hidden him from the demons, protected him from them, sacrificed herself to save him… yet he couldn’t even make it up to her to protect others after she died. 

He tried to train hard when Urokodaki found him. 

He tried to be strong like she said that he could be. 

He tried to be strong like Sabito… 

But he wasn’t. He was weak. He wasn’t deserving of the title of water hashira, and he knew that. 

It seemed like even a former lower moon could see it, too.

By the time they’d reached the house they’d stayed in previously, Giyuu found himself unwilling to talk. He was pretty sure that’s what Shinazugawa wanted as well, so it really was just working out well for the both of them. 

Giyuu watched as Shinazugawa began to reach for his sketchbook, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he turned his back to the hashira and sat down on his own bedding. With great care, Giyuu removed his haori and folded it up next to him. He sat silently for a few moments, continuing to think about the events replaying in his head. 

None of it was real. None of it made sense, anyway…

How could a demon so perfectly replicate the two people he knew and trusted the most in his life? It shouldn’t have been possible.. Changing form was such a difficult feat for demons to do between one form and another, but being able to mimic not only the looks, but also the voices of multiple people so fast as on a coin flip? It was unnatural, even for a demon.

Trying to wrap his head around the abilities of a demon that was slain wasn’t really of any use to Giyuu. He sighed to himself, before laying down on his bedding for the night. Giyuu figured some sleep would do him some good…

But, boy, was he wrong.

Pain. 

Throbbing pain was all Giyuu could feel. 

His arms were weak, and his legs felt like they could give out at any moment, but it wasn’t a match for the wound he’d taken to his head. He could feel the blood dripping down his forehead, yet he still tried to fight. There were demons everywhere, and a distinct smell of ash and sulfur surrounded him.

Giyuu’s movements were getting clumsy, but he couldn’t stop now. He needed to get through the final selection. He needed to prove that Tsutako hadn’t given up her life for no reason.

And he needed to find Sabito. 

Giyuu had no doubt that Sabito was alright, but something inside him said that he needed to find Sabito.

So, with as much haste as he could muster, Giyuu continued his fight through the Final Selection. As he searched, he would run into demons, and do his best to avoid getting hurt. He took a few cuts and scrapes here and there, but he was alright for the most part. 

That was, until he was struck once again in the head by a demon. The force of the blow was enough to make Giyuu stumble back and trip over a log. He hit the ground with a thud and tried to cover the wound on his head to stop the bleeding. But the scent of blood just made the demon approach Giyuu even faster than before. 

”This is it.. I’m gonna die..”

”I’m sorry Tsutako.. I couldn’t make you proud.”

”I hope Sabito makes it through.. Then Master Urokodaki will only have one more child to bury..”

Giyuu’s thoughts continued to spiral as he braced himself for a strike that never came. Only did he open his eyes when he smelled the ash of a disintegrating demon and heard the call of Sabito’s voice. He couldn’t quite make out the words, but Giyuu knew that it was important that he try to stand.

But when he tried, all Giyuu did was stumble to the ground. Standing proved to be nearly impossible due to his blood loss, but he still wanted to fight. He tried to stand again, but he needed the support of another swordsman to help him. Giyuu was still clutching the wound on his head, but it did little to stop the blood flow. He tried to reach a hand out to Sabito, but he lacked the strength to do something even as simple as that.

Before Sabito had managed to come to where Giyuu was, there was an ear-splitting scream that echoed around everyone. Anyone within a three kilometer radius would be able to hear it. 

Even without seeing his face, Giyuu knew what Sabito was going to do. 

“Sabito, wait..!”

Giyuu tried to call out to the other boy, but it was no use. Sabito dashed off in the direction of the scream. 

Soon after, he lost consciousness. 

In some cruel twist of fate, Giyuu was still able to feel that something was wrong, even when unconscious. He knew he needed to wake up, to keep fighting, but his body wouldn’t let him. 

He wanted to fight. He wanted to keep going. He wanted to show that he was strong. He wanted to prove that Tsutako hadn’t sacrificed herself for nothing.

But his body wouldn’t let him. 

Eventually, Giyuu did wake up, but it wasn’t until after the Final Selection had concluded. He’d only been participating for half of a night, yet he’d lived. How pathetic. Giyuu hadn’t passed. He hadn’t earned the right. He shouldn’t be alive by any means. But that wasn’t what he was worried about.

”Where’s Sabito? Didn’t he pass?”

Giyuu tried to stand, but he still lacked the strength. He decided to wait to see if anyone would come in to check on him. When they did, he learned the truth. 

Sabito was gone. 

One of the other passing members of the Final Selection was the one to tell Giyuu about what had happened. 

Shortly after he’d passed out, Sabito had gone off to the location that the scream had come from. He’d come across an enormous demon and attempted to behead it, but failed. 

And it had cost his life. 

Out of everyone in that Final Selection, the only one to have died was Sabito. 

When Giyuu heard the news, he didn’t cry. He didn’t lash out. He didn’t speak. He just sat there and processed the fact that he’d lost the person in his life that he was closest with. 

First it was Tstutako dying to protect him. 

And now it was Sabito. 

After that day, Giyuu rarely spoke to others unless he needed to. Even when he returned to the home of Urokodaki, he wouldn’t be the one to start a conversation. Giyuu hoped the feeling would get better when he received his sword–physical proof that he’d become part of the Demon Slayer Corps–but it didn’t. 

In fact, he only seemed to feel the pressure of guilt more than before. 

He knew he shouldn’t have the sword. He knew he shouldn’t have passed the Final Selection. He knew that he shouldn’t be a part of the corps. He knew that he shouldn’t be alive in Sabito’s place. 

But he also couldn’t let Tsutako–and now Sabito–down. Giyuu had to live. He had to fight. He had to keep their memories alive, even if he wasn’t worthy of it. 

To keep Tsutako’s memory alive, Giyuu had taken to wearing her haori. It was a simple reminder that she was with him, and a reminder of her sacrifice so he would keep fighting. 

On the night before his first official mission, Giyuu made a decision. He’d managed to find one of Sabito’s old kimonos, and so he took to carefully stitching it together with that of Tsutako’s haori. It certainly wasn’t perfect, but Giyuu saw it as a constant reminder that he had to keep going. 

He wasn’t going to let his shortcomings and weakness make him fail to protect another person again. Giyuu wasn’t going to lose someone because he wasn’t strong enough. 

He wasn’t going to dishonor Tsutako and Sabito’s sacrifices. 

When Shinazugawa began to move around, Giyuu snapped awake. He didn’t move from his position on the floor, instead continuing to stare at the wall in front of him. Giyuu felt a bit of wetness in his eyes, but he silently held back the tears that had formed there as he slept. 

As a thin hair of sunlight came in through the window, Giyuu began to sit up. He was about halfway up when Shinazugawa announced the arrival of dawn. 

“Tomioka. Get up. It’s dawn.”

Like usual, Shinazugawa was blunt and gruff. Giyuu just nodded, then got up out of his bedding. He hadn’t brought anything besides his sword and haori, so he simply folded up the bedding he’d used and put it away. 

By the time he’d finished–true to his word–Shinazugawa had already left. Giyuu didn’t stick around the town for much longer, either, only stopping to buy something to eat before following his crow back out of town. When he was partially into the forest, though, Giyuu couldn’t help but hear a familiar voice. One he’d heard merely an hour before.

As he continued down the path, Giyuu caught the sight of–none other than–Shinazugawa.