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Chapter Text

Ever since they had become US, Aziraphale had been on a roll and treated Crowley like he was the most precious thing in the world. The demon certainly didn't mind receiving attention, not after 6000 years of complicity, furtive glances and above all... misunderstandings. However he wasn't used to it. Perhaps he had been too presumptuous to desire such great love; now that he had obtained it, now that he could get lost in the eyes of his angel and even kiss him, he was scared. He was scared of those overflowing feelings, especially of himself.

The last time they'd gone to the Ritz and gotten drunk, things had quickly spiraled out of control; their hands had intertwined over the white tablecloth, their feet had looked for each other under the table and the looks they had exchanged, oh that look full of burning stars and desire. As soon as they got into the car, Crowley drove to the nearest dark alley and kissed the angel so passionately that it left him breathless. With his hands, he had reached every inch of his body covered in layers of useless fabric. Aziraphale was unexpectedly compliant, he hadn't put up any resistance, not even when those hands had moved from the soft nape to the exposed neck... he limited himself to looking Crowley straight in his eyes, as if daring him to tighten his grip. At that moment the demon's heart was filled with dark feelings: regret, frustration, blame? Why? All this was immediately replaced by something else, if possible even more frightening and burning: possessing his angel, caging him, making sure that he could never run away from him. Crowley was assailed by the certainty that if he had not stopped at that precise moment, the monster inside his chest would have devoured Aziraphale.

So he had put the seat upright and took the angel home. Sensing how upset he was, Aziraphale had not investigated, but since then he had begun to behave strangely. He took his hand in public, was bold in his words and was always the first to seek him out, even in intimacy. While Crowley was trying to put some physical distance to keep the monster at bay, this bold new angel was giving him a hard time.
Crowley couldn't resist him for long, he had to clear up his repressed feelings before they exploded uncontrollably. At the same time, there was something else strange, which he couldn't explain, something that Aziraphale was hiding from him.
They were back to square one. They weren't communicating.

That evening Crowley wanted to get naked (not literally, but eventually), so he had asked the angel to have dinner in the library, to be alone, without distractions. To create the most relaxed atmosphere between them, and to admire the angel's beautiful smile before tackling thorny topics, he brought some gifts: two bottles of Chianti, some caviar and some chocolate-covered strawberries (the latter was actually a smart move) would certainly have helped both of them expose their feelings.

However, Crowley had not foreseen that his generosity would be counterproductive, because instead of tongues, that had released all inhibitions.
Aziraphale had set a table for them and lit some candles, which made Crowley's heart skip straight to that night in 41, when the angel's gaze had been so sweet, when their feelings had overflowed for the first time. This certainly didn't help.

After dinner Crowley had removed all traces of alcohol in his blood and had moved to the sofa as a precaution, but Aziraphale didn’t do the same and moreover did not want to keep his distance from him, any distance.
He was so beautiful, so bright and so drunk. Without any warning, he sat down astride his legs and began to thank him for dinner, showered him with compliments (which normally made Crowley's chest explode) and stared at him with languid eyes full of love. Clarifications be damned.

«Shut up and Kiss Me.» Crowley said, opening the door to a road of no return.
Everything he wanted to say, his worries, his paranoia, his doubts, were erased by the heat of the angel's mouth, by the taste of chocolate on his tongue, which moved without hesitation and shamelessly, playing unexpected games.
Crowley caught his breath only for a moment, realizing that Aziraphale was crossing an unwritten line, a line they had not yet crossed and that was… dangerous. How could he stop the angel's insatiable desire? He himself didn't have the strength, he just wanted to melt in his mouth. Crowley welcomed the soft touch of his tongue again, while the angel's hands cradled his face, caressed his hair; Aziraphale stood communicating with his body, he didn't need words.

He was telling how much he wanted him, that he felt safe in his arms, that after millennia he finally wanted to let go and consummate their forbidden love. It was clear, so clear that Crowley would have cried for the trust that the angel was giving him after the violent passion of the last time in the car. He would have cried and knelt at his feet giving his heart and soul, screaming to the whole world how much he loved him, if he hadn't been so damn excited.

He suppressed a moan of pleasure as the angel moved his hips and twisted his tongue, Crowley’s fingers betrayed him, he couldn't stop himself from caressing Aziraphale's strong back, reaching down, squeezing those round buttocks that were right there to entice him.Crowley's mind was now as white as a sheet of paper, he let Aziraphale continue to suck away, together with his tongue, every shred of resistance he had left.
Sensing the result of his commitment pressing in his lower parts, Aziraphale suddenly stopped and turned around, even mocked him; that little bastard was proud to see how little was enough to get him excited... was he really that naive? Didn't he realize what effect it had on him?

Even just being able to touch his hand, open the car's door for him, save him from a prison or a group of Nazis, in the past had aroused unspeakable sensations in Crowley's heart, let alone EVERYTHING he was now doing to him. Holding him, feeling the weight of him, the enveloping desire of him, it was just too much, Crowley wouldn't hold back much longer.

It was all so perfect and overwhelming that not even in his wildest fantasies, the demon would have imagined that one day he would find himself in that situation. Seriously, Aziraphale was so uninhibited and experienced, so different from the shy angel who had REJECTED him more than once over the centuries… where had he learned to do such things? Not with him, certainly not him... here again, that feeling that he wanted to suppress but which had returned more burning than ever, was it jealousy? The mere thought that Aziraphale had experienced this sort of thing with some human drove him crazy. Didn't he say that he attended a club of distinguished gentlemen to learn to dance? Maybe it had happened on that occasion? No, absolutely not. He had to erase that terrible image from his head before it ruined the moment.

While Crowley tried to put his absurd and possessive thoughts in order, Aziraphale gave him no respite, that evening he wanted to destroy every shred of his resistance: his hands moved quickly, slid down and felt the bulge in Crowley's pants with shocking ease. While he was fiddling with the belt, Aziraphale shot him furtive glances to gauge his reaction and keeping his gaze glued to Crowley, moved on to undoing the buttons and pulling down the zip.
Crowley held his breath the entire time, mesmerized by those determined eyes and the sly smile that made his heart pound like a thousand drums. That heart risked completely leaving his chest, when the angelic hand achieved its goal, taking possession of his manhood, so turgid that it almost hurt.

«What are you doing, Angel?» Finally the demon's voice re-emerged rasping from the depths of his throat, only to return there at the second soft touch, which caressed him firmly.

«Isn't it obvious? I'll give you some relief, it's my fault if your earthly body had this reaction, you taught me how to do in the thermal baths of ancient Rome, don't you remember?» Aziraphale whispered in a low, melodious voice.

Clear images piled up in the demon's mind... of course, of course he remembered: the innocent blush on the angel's face at the discovery of what was happening in his private parts, while he had cleverly taken the opportunity to push him a little further with his morals, teaching him to give himself pleasure to "ease the discomfort".
Had he really dared to do such a thing two thousand years ago?
And how had he survived for so long with the memory of what happened next?
Simple, he had put it aside, like every moment of fleeting shared intimacy, to survive the reality of the facts: his feelings would never be reciprocated, his desires would remain unfulfilled.
And instead? The reality was turning out to be even better than his imagination, because those timid hands were now sliding confidently along his shaft, flooding him with new sensations that burned in his chest like the flames of hell.

«You taught me to take care of myself when this type of involuntary reaction followed… sinful thoughts. Well, I won't hide from you that over the centuries your teaching has been useful... every time you showed up with skimpy clothes, loose hair, exposed collarbones, or well... much more often than I'd like to admit.»

The thought that his angel had masturbated while thinking about him, drove Crowley to the edge... it was an unspeakably erotic thing, and to confess it in his ear, while touching him, oh... for Satan's sake. He had to stop it immediately.

«Angel, did you only do it on yourself or did you... help others like you are doing now?» Why the hell was his mouth talking to itself? Why did he free those thoughts that were not at all connected with his intention to immediately distance himself?

«Ever and never. My every thought of love and lust has always been directed towards you, especially... after that night of '41, Crowley. You awakened a fire that left me with no escape and no path to redemption.» Aziraphale's hand held him trapped in lustful pleasure, while his words filled him with divine love. How could he ask him to stop? Yet Crowley wanted to understand the source of his bold behavior, he wanted to know why he was confessing these things at such a time, as if he later had no time or opportunity to do so.

«I thought you regretted kissing me that night... why are you telling me now?… oh» Aziraphale was licking his neck, reaching a spot particularly sensitive behind the ear. If he wanted to further distract him, he was succeeding very well. Although the desire to cage the angel burned even more than before, the one trapped was the demon... unable to oppose what was happening too quickly.

«Angel… wait, if you continue like this, I might…»

Aziraphale continued to move his hand slowly, from bottom to top, then pressed on the tip and waited, until Crowley gasped.

«You are so beautiful, you are so perfect, don't blame yourself for what you want, we have human bodies, I want it as much as you.»

Aziraphale's attitude was disarming, there was an urgency in him very similar to what Crowley had felt in the car. After so many years of waiting, Crowley also wanted to move on, to experience all kinds of earthly pleasures with him, but not until things between them were completely clear, not until he understood what was strange about his angel, the reason why he was rushing ahead as if they had no tomorrow.

«Angel, there's an impulse that comes over me, I could do something to you that... I can't control myself...» He managed to say in one breath.

«You don't have to hold back, I accept what you are, your impulses, your nature, I'm not afraid, I want you as you are, I've never wished anything else.» Those words were balm to the demon's ears.
For some reason they made his eyes sting. Could someone so close to orgasm be so close to tears?

«Angel, stop, it's not just that, there's something... want to... ask you»

Crowley closed his eyes overcome by a rush of pleasure as the soft hand teased him faster and faster.

«Only if you… call me by my name.» Murmured the tempter angel in his ear.

It was an order, and Crowley could only obey that order, he was his slave. He always had been.

«Azira… phale…» He managed to gasp, while the master of his life started kissing him again.

Chapter Text

«Aziraphale… Aziraphale» Crowley kept repeating, like an ancient love spell. How long had it been since he said that name? It felt like such a distant, bittersweet word on the tongue.
The angel touched his cheek and whispered, blowing in his ear: «I love it when you call me “angel”, it's something ours only, but hearing the hidden melody in your voice when you say my name… oh, it's special.»
Crowley felt all his affection piercing him painfully, like an arrow.

«Aziraphale, ah… stop.» The angel slowed his touch, but did not stop completely.
Crowley's cock throbbed wetly, with denied pleasure, as the angel squeezed his thumb and forefinger at the base.

«Do you really want me to stop at this point?» Aziraphale caressed his face with the tip of the nose, like a purring cat. Crowley leaned his long neck out of Aziraphale's reach to barely escape his touch and breathe, he had to calm down, make sense of the itch that tormented his thoughts.
He opened his eyes and ended up staring at the high ceiling.

A weak evening light entered from the semi-closed curtain, no noise came from the Soho street, usually crowded and noisy at that time, due to the revelry of the pub opposite.
There was a muffled quiet, interrupted only by their heavy breathing. As if there were only two in the world: an angel and a demon, hereditary enemies, but linked by the thread of destiny.

«Tell me what's bothering you, my dear. Are you afraid they'll find us? Now it's just us, no one else matters...» Aziraphale began to suck on his neck, making it difficult for him to think.

It was true, no one else had ever mattered, not to Crowley.
But for Aziraphale? He had always sought the approval of his side, even at the cost of denying their cruelty and all the evidence of the facts.
Crowley's eyes wandered and stopped at the cuckoo clock, whose hands stood still, as if frozen in an eternal second.
Precisely at that point he had taken the longest breath of his life, before putting his feelings on the table, before...

Tumultuous images crowded and overlapped in the demon's mind, a heartbreaking déjà-vu of distant events. At the end of this sensory tunnel, which led him dangerously close to orgasm, a terrible awareness was hidden.
Crowley's eyes filled with tears, because his mind was finally clear. He understood. He remembered.

He lowered his head and bent into the crook of Aziraphale's neck, to hide his tears.
«You're going too fast for me.» He said grabbing the hand that was roaming the back of his neck.
He savored the angel's sweet scent, sensing him tense and worry.

«Is this some kind of spite? I don't think it's worth joking now that we finally… » Aziraphale stuttered, he was quickly losing self-confidence, but he stubbornly didn't let go of Crowley's erection.
«Really, dear, what's happening? I thought that after what happened in the car you wanted me to take the initiative. I liked being overwhelmed by your passion, but I understand that you were in doubt about what to do, in short... we were not created for this kind of thing...»

«Stop pretending, angel.» Murmured the demon in an even lower tone, more to himself than to his companion.

Aziraphale continued to mutter apologies and nonsensical words to lighten the atmosphere, he rejected Crowley's sudden change.
He gave up only when the demon took his other wrist and pulled it onto him, putting an end to any contact that could prevent him from speaking.
Crowley pinned the angel's hands raised above the head, while he remained hidden on his shoulder and the erection was pressed painfully between them.
But nothing mattered anymore, not the insistent excitement, nor Aziraphale's stammering.

It took the demon a few more moments not to make eye contact.
He inhaled one last time on the skin of the angel who restlessly began to wriggle like a hare caught by a snake.
«Crowley, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to, please, let me go now, so we can talk…»

Crowley did exactly the opposite, he reversed the situation and pushed Aziraphale underneath him on the sofa, with his wrists locked above his head.
He wouldn't escape until he confessed the truth.
Now the demon could clearly see the panic brimming from Aziraphale’s foggy eyes. Despite everything he had said earlier, he was scared.
Not from what the demon could have done, but from his silence, more eloquent than a thousand words.

However, Crowley ignored the sad plea of those dear eyes, he could no longer wallow in a lie, no matter how wonderful it was.
There was only one question left to ask, to shatter everything:
«Tell me the truth, Aziraphale… is this just a…»

«Don’t say that! Shut up!» The angel shouted. «If you finish the sentence we will separate again, I don't want it!» The last words were followed by the ringing of a distant bell, while a warm and magnificent light flooded the room with faded outlines. Crowley was dazzled, but he didn't look away from the metamorphosis that took place beneath him.

Countless purple eyes had appeared on the angel's beautiful face and stared at him desperately. Only from the blue ones, whose pupils hid stars of hope, rivers of tears fell.
The mask had fallen, the Supreme Archangel had shown himself.

«I convinced myself that the memories in which you left were the result of my unresolved fears, that I had to put a stop to my paranoia, because in reality you were here with me, instead... instead it's the exact opposite.» Crowley cried tears of awareness and resignation, which fell drop after drop onto the angel's face, mixing with his own.
«Is it really you? Or a trick of my twisted mind?»

«Your mind is not twisted at all, on the contrary it is sharp and brilliant, otherwise you would have never understood... your subconscious perceived me as an intruder from the start, which is why in the car you tried to...»

«It's you, yes, I've always known it, too real and unpredictable to be imaginary. Congratulations, angel, you are a better magician than I thought... Crowley laughed darkly through his tears, then asked, hardening his gaze and voice: "How long have I been... sleeping?» without saying, but hissing, the last word.

«For months now! I looked for you on earth, but your presence was faint, so I came to your apartment, there was no way to wake you up! How else could I see you, or talk to you?»
Aziraphale took a long breath of air before exclaiming: «I missed you so much!»

Oh, so he missed him? He preferred Paradise over the two of them! Crowley was incredulous and angry, he came within an inch of the Archangel's face, gripping his wrists tightly.
«So you thought you'd get into my head? To find out how deep I have fallen… Why are you doing this to me? Why are you still playing with my feelings?»

«You're wrong, how can you think that... you were struggling in the grip of nightmares, I watched over you for days before making this decision, because I wanted to reassure you and give you a splendid illusion!» Aziraphale took a long breath, like a diver emerging from the depths.

His many eyes disappeared and so did the light. They returned to the comforting twilight of the library at sunset... a sunset that had lasted for an indefinite time.

Crowley's tears had stopped, leaving hot streaks on his cheeks. All the anger that he had repressed deep down to indulge that romantic pretense was overflowing.
«So you did it for me? You have crept into my deepest thoughts without permission and should I also thank you, oh, Supreme Celestial Being?» The last words were dragged in a long hiss with fangs bared.

Aziraphale shook his head, mortified. He turned his face away and began to sob with his eyes closed, without even trying to free himself from the grip he was still in.
«Don't look at me like that, please, don't despise me, not you! I just wanted a glimpse of our life together, to know what it would be like if I had stayed with you, ignoring the world outside falling apart. I'm selfish, forgive me, I did it for myself, I wanted to create precious memories, even if fictitious... before I...»
The last words were spoken slowly, dragged out and broken.

Crowley felt a pang in his chest, the sight of the angel destroyed by his remorse was something he couldn't bear. And the cause of that suffering was himself. What was he doing?

He softened his grip on Aziraphale's wrists and slid his hands into his soft palms, then laced their fingers together.

«Angel, look at me! Do you need my help? Are you in danger? What are you trying to tell me?» He asked, every trace of anger replaced by genuine concern.

Aziraphale looked at him again, his face soaked in tears, but this time he was smiling.
«Don't ask, my love. While we can, let's make this illusion our reality. Stay with me, please. Together, in an eternal moment. That's what matters.»

Chapter Text

Crowley let himself go and rested his face on Aziraphale's heaving chest, who without hesitation hugged him in an embrace of immense warmth.

«Forgive me that I entered your mind. At first I had to dig into the darkness to reach you... I wanted to erase that pain, leave you with a happy memory when you woke up, so I created a bubble in which we could be happy in the short but infinite segment of a dream. Even though your subconscious rejected me, you welcomed me and wanted it to work, you always wanted just this for us.»
Crowley felt him tighten his knuckles on his clothes.
«I ruined all. Can you ever forgive me?»

Crowley reluctantly lifted himself from that sweet embrace to reach the angel’s mouth. They started kissing again, this time gently, without haste, without fuss. One kiss wet with tears after another, until the accelerated heartbeats calmed down, in unison.

«I missed you too… terribly.» Crowley said, breaking away into a whisper. «And I don't even want to know how your holy essence entered the impure mind of a demon without being destroyed. It was seriously crazy. But you're here and you're fine and it's really you, I recognize these lips...» He stole another soft kiss before asking with a crooked smile: «Only one explanation interests me at the moment... who taught you to kiss so well?»

«Oh, my dear... I'm amazed by it too, my will is free, but you know, I leave the technical details to your wishes. Do you really make me that skilled?»
«After what you confessed earlier about, well, the number of times you imagined me erotically, you can't blame me for doing the same!»
The two started laughing spontaneously and embarrassed, friends and accomplices, as they had always been.

«How long do we have?»
«Very little, which is why I wanted to leave an indelible memory before l go.» Admitted Aziraphale, who looked away and blushed under Crowley's amused eyes.
Now that the angel had lost control of the situation and the illusory cloak of a consolidated relationship to justify his boldness, he had been hit by a volley of hot water, even his ears had turned crimson.

«Well, you were doing great.» The still throbbing erection under the stiff fabric of his trousers was concrete testimony to the angelic performance. «Do you want to continue?» Crowley stroked his chin and turned his face around to savor every shade of red, delicious embarrassment.

«For as long as we're allowed out of here.» Aziraphale replied with a shy smile.

Crowley kissed him repeatedly on the cheeks and eyelids to reassure him and wipe any remaining tears from his handsome, red face. He was back to his usual self. His angel had returned to him, that was all that mattered…His own, only his own, he doesn’t belong to the damned Heaven.

As his breaths calmed and his pulse quickened, Aziraphale captured his lips again and trapped them in a long, wet, deep kiss.
Crowley tilted his head twisting his long serpentine tongue; surprised only for a moment, the angel accepted the challenge and sucked it without shame, as he had done before.
Crowley's imagination had nothing to do with it, this was pure desire repressed for millennia. They both knew it, there was no longer any need to lie or justify oneself. They belonged together.

Aziraphale's thighs tightened more and more around Crowley’s hips, while his pelvis flexed forward, encouraging him to rub himself to relieve his arousal. His languid moans, his warm hands digging into his back and neck in search of greater contact, as if they weren't already entwined around each other in a tangle of bodies and souls.

Crowley was about to go crazy with passion. The impetus was very similar to the one he felt in the car, but this time he felt in control of himself, there were no doubts tormenting him, only an infinite love piercing him like a burning blade.

«My love, don't you think… at this point, we should free ourselves… er, from our clothes?» The angel gasped, his lips red and wet, his eyes full of desire.

Crowley's heart skipped three beats. He raised himself on his hands and admired the delicious vision below him with intensity and mischief.

«It's the second time you've called me like that, angel… “my dear” was the closest we had come to after 6000 years… I mean, it's a bit strange all of a sudden...» Crowley teased him on purpose, to enjoy his delicious reaction.

«Oh, I'm tired of pretending! Pretending diplomacy, good manners, pretending that there is a pact of mutual interest between us, or a friendship. I love you, Crowley. From the first moment I saw you put your signature among the stars. I have denied this love for millennia to myself, to you, and to anyone who pointed out the evidence by seeing us from the outside. Without this feeling I don't even know who I am and honestly, I'm not interested in finding out. These months of breakup have been unbearable!»

Crowley had hoped for a stammering confession, but this… the one flushed to the tips of his ears was him, shocked by the resolve of his angel, no… of his only love.
«I love you too, Aziraphale… well, in the library I wanted to tell you, but the words wouldn't come out, you know, I'm not good at this kind of talk.»

The angel widened his eyes and then melted like ice cream in the sun.
«Come on, it was quite sweet, it's just that… well, I promised myself I'd tell you as soon as I had the chance» he cleared his throat and put on a professor's tone, «there is a simpler and more appropriate word that can describe a " group of two”… repeat after me, dear: C o u p l e!»
The two burst out laughing again.
«Yes you are right.»
«So do you admit that your vocabulary is lacking?»
«No, you're right that we should get rid of the clothes.»

Crowley started to snap his fingers, but then remembered they were in his mind. He didn't need a miracle to undress Aziraphale. He had imagined him so many times over the centuries…
He closed his eyes and when he reopened them, the angel was still lying on the sofa, an otherworldly image of perfect beauty that stretched out its arms to welcome him, like the most tempting of invitations.

Crowley didn't let him wait and was enveloped in a strong embrace.
The sensation of his own chest bristling with hair on the angel's velvety skin, the warmth that cradled him, chasing away the loneliness he had felt for so long… the caresses on his back that gave him shivers, all of this was surprisingly real.
«Angel, how is it possible to feel these tactile and lascivious sensations if we are in…»

Aziraphale closed his mouth giving him a quick kiss.
«Remember that our true essence is incorporeal. Plus, I gave my miracle a little boost of realism, just in case things took a pleasant turn..."

«Don't act innocent, you had planned everything down to the smallest detail to lure me into your cunning trap, you little tempting angel!» Crowley nipped at the crook of Aziraphale's neck, and he chuckled without denying.
«I hoped so, but I wasn't sure... it wouldn't have happened if you had hated me.»

«Never, angel, I could never, not even in my…» Crowley stopped again, choking the word in the milky neck, while his hands caressed the angel's nape and soft hips.

«Be careful, please… if you say those words you will break the bubble I have created and you will re-emerge into the waking state. I imposed it as a countermeasure, you know. In case I…»

Crowley was tired of details, he wanted to taste the buttery skin that whetted his appetite. As an appetizer he began to lick collarbones, moving up the neck again and then stopping to drink from the soft lips that tasted of sweet nectar.

To continue the feast he bit into a pink nipple.
Aziraphale let out a soft moan of appreciation, continuing to explain: «if it had depended only on me, I would have made this perfect illusion last forever… ah Crowley!» He scratched the back of the snake that had bitten him in a fit of greed.

«It is said that Cleopatra's death occurred due to a bite on her breast... were you that snake? »
«Ngk» Crowley smirked, before moving to the other nipple, licking, nibbling and sucking, while with his fingers he teased the previous one, already wet and turgid.
«Because if you continue like this, I could end up the same way…»

Aziraphale's erection pressed brazenly on Crowley's lower abdomen, who until now had pretended to ignore it, even though he hadn't thought about anything else for a while.
The main course of his angelic meal was about to be served and he would enjoy it all the way down.

Chapter Text

Aziraphale was in Heaven. In his true heaven, the only one he needed. In the arms of his demon, who had forgiven him despite everything, whose feelings had always been so obvious, but he had long chosen to ignore them, out of cowardice.

The fear that Crowley would receive a holy water cure from heaven or be tortured by hell because of him was something that had haunted him for centuries. The only real reason that had kept him from holding his hand when they walked together, from stealing a kiss to silence him when they argued, from accepting his overflowing feelings after ‘41.

Suffering in silence and settling for a friendship would always be better than seeing his only friend, the reason for his happiness, destroyed because of his greed. He had held back too long, feeding on small morsels, crumbs of affection and stolen moments. He had reached his limit.
He had to satiate his hunger for Crowley or he would go mad.

It was this desperation that had driven him into his dreams, the most selfish act he had ever committed. All along he had felt sneaky and mean, taking advantage of the psyche of his tormented demon. Of course he had never thought that Crowley would see through the deception, that he would expose him. But now he was so happy, so absurdly happy. He no longer had to pretend, he saw him and accepted him with all his flaws, with his most insignificant weaknesses.

Oh, how he loved him.
He felt his chest burning as it had when Crowley had stolen that long kiss before their goodbye. To be reciprocated by the one he had desired for so long had made him so happy, but at the same time sad. Because they couldn't be together as an US.

Heaven had already taken too much from them. Aziraphale would do anything to make the dream they were living become their reality. He would end the war and save the world not only for humans, but most importantly for the two of them.

Crowley's naked body pressed against him, his hands caressing every inch of skin, his tongue descending and tasting. Aziraphale could feel the desire of the demon finally being released. He knew how in the past, as in ‘41, that burning desire had overwhelmed and troubled him, because he believed that Aziraphale was a pure and inviolable being.

Oh, how wrong he was.
Look at him, angels of heaven! Your highest representative has fled from his responsibilities to hide in an illusion and is enjoying the mere touch of an unholy demon. A demon for whom he would do anything, even stab his own heart and lie to him again.
BECAUSE HE WOULD DO IT. He would never allow Crowley to put himself in danger, even if it meant letting him sleep for a century and visiting him only in his dreams.
He was a cruel angel, he was a damn manipulator, he didn't deserve Crowley's love, he didn't…

"ANGEL, where are you?"
Aziraphale had his eyes closed and his mouth pursed as Crowley continued to caress his chest, to lick his belly, to suck again on the already sensitive nipple, causing him a pleasure that gave him shocks, and at the same time brought tears to the corners of his eyes.

"I'm right here, my love, I'm right here."
Aziraphale ran a hand through the demon's soft hair and stared into those pools of liquid gold that had always hypnotized him. How could he be so naturally and disarmingly beautiful?
Oh… if only they hadn't wasted 6 millennia telling each other lies…

"The noise of your thoughts is deafening, don't get distracted while I do certain things, otherwise I might feel offended"
"I'm not… right. Sorry."
"You can stop apologizing. In a few seconds I'll clear your head of every stupid thought that isn't directed at me."
"In my life there was never a thought that wasn't for you… What? Oh…"

Crowley spread the angel's thighs and suggested he make himself comfortable with a mischievous smile.
Aziraphale obeyed without a word. He raised himself on his elbows and rested his head on the arm of the chair… he had understood where things were going and he did not want to miss even a moment.

"Well, now don't you dare hold back, I want to hear your angelic voice while I make you enjoy it"
"Oh, Crowley, you don’t have to, you’ve been so hard for so long, I should be the one to…"
The snake silenced him with a bite on the inside of his thigh. Aziraphale groaned as he sucked and teased the soft skin with his sharp teeth.

"I long to do so. I will taste every inch of you and especially the one I have longed to devour since the day I spied on you bathing in the Garden of Eden... did you show off your new toy for me? Did you know I was watching you?"

"No…? Oh, you old snake… don’t make me say such things, I didn’t show off, I didn’t even know what it was for", he lied shamelessly. Aziraphale knew what he was doing as he took off his toga, ruffled his wings and knelt in the pond, he was well aware of the demonic presence on the apple tree behind him, yet he continued to rub his exposed skin in the sunlight, he even turned and saw a golden glimmer among the branches.
Waiting, perhaps hoping to be reached.
Aziraphale always knew very well what he was doing, he was just very good at pretending to be naive.

"And yet you were with me when we studied Adam and Eve in their reproductive sessions and you did not hesitate to imitate his effort."
"It was just for… scientific purposes."
The angel blushed and bit his lower lip at the sight of the demon sneering comfortably stretched out between his thighs.
"Well then, let me now do some thorough research," Crowley concluded.

His smile disappeared and his forked tongue loosened to wrap around the base of Aziraphale's cock, who threw its head back, threatening to explode instantly.
Was the miracle he had performed inside the dream that good? Did it really feel that way or was it just a figment of his demon's lustful mind?

Crowley was licking his entire length, slipping his tongue into his foreskin and lingering on the already exposed head of his cock… finally giving him an intense look as he opened his jaws wide and prepared to devour his prey.
Sparks of light erupted behind Aziraphale's eyes as Crowley swallowed him whole.

His mind was truly blank. All problems had ceased to exist. Aziraphale felt infinitely grateful and even if he didn't deserve it, he would accept every bit of pleasure Crowley wanted to give him. He groaned and the demon expressed approval by descending a little further.

His throat was welcoming and wet and hot. Oh. He was coming up, sucking and making such a profane sound that Aziraphale felt the urge to grab his hair and push him back down.
"You’re too big, angel," Crowley said, coughing and catching his breath.
"What?"
"I don't remember your effort being so thick, but both in Eden and in Rome, I could only observe, despite myself. Perhaps it's my imagination?"
Was Crowley really measuring the thickness by trying to close his index finger and thumb around his throbbing cock?
"I… I don't know… does this seem like the right time to get philosophical about my member?"
"I told you it was for research purposes… Oh, okay!" He chuckled at the exasperated, pleading look he received. “That means I’m going to have to work harder than I expected.”

Crowley's tongue began to descend again, stretching and languishing over every inch of skin on his cock, now moist with spit and precum. When Aziraphale began to squirm, trying to take his pleasure, the serpent wrapped its arms like coils around his thighs to hold him still as it wanted and swallowed him again with its throat open to the hilt.

The angel gasped under the slow, grueling pace set by the demon, whose tongue worked inside his mouth and wrapped around him tightly as his lips sucked every time he returned to the tip.
Aziraphale could feel all of this in an absurdly amplified way and when he felt the back of Crowley's throat, he arched his back dangerously close to the precipice.

"Love, please, love!"
Crowley pulled away with a sudden suction. There were small tears in the corners of his eyes, and he raised his arched eyebrow as he wiped his red lips.
"Don't think it's going to be that easy, angel! I still have a few points to explore before I let you come, I'm a serious scientist, ngk."
Aziraphale panted, completely at his mercy.
"Whatever you want…"
"Good, my good angel"

Crowley smiled in satisfaction and gently caressed his belly as he went down again. He adjusted Aziraphale's knees on his shoulders and squeezed the base of his aching cock with two fingers.
"Lift your hips for me," he asked with honey in his voice.
"What are you… what do you want?"
Crowley ignored his stammering and lifted his hips as he wished. Aziraphale's cock brushed his belly as the demon once again drew out the dangerous weapon of his tongue to tease his back entrance.
"Small and pink, so inviting," he commented to himself, starting to obscenely wet the space between the angel's buttocks.

Aziraphale made an indecent noise and writhed to escape the grip, he was about to explode from embarrassment, but he resisted the urge to protest. However, his moans alarmed his love.
"Do you want me to stop?"
What did Aziraphale expect? He had previously started the game himself, teased Crowley to the limit, almost ignoring his consent, aware that the demon's true consciousness was buried under layers of dreams and lies. Now that the roles were reversed, that he was the one exposed and vulnerable, he felt overwhelmed, afraid to let go himself.
But he knew that if he gave his demon complete control, every barrier would crumble. He trusted him and didn't want to ruin the moment with his insecurities again, so he took a deep breath and begged him to continue.

Crowley eyed him warily, ready to stop at a sign. He loosened his grip on the base of his cock a little, while the tip of his tongue began to push through the entrance. Aziraphale was about to implode from embarrassment and pleasure.

After endless moments, the long, slippery tongue managed to penetrate the hole, sending a jolt up the angel's spine.
"Ah! Crowley! Don’t stop." He found himself begging.
The demon didn't want to hear anything else, and hungrily spread his buttocks to fuck him better.

Aziraphale grabbed the blanket on the couch. He clenched his fists, so close to coming just from a tongue inside him, his cock abandoned and dripping on his belly, but with disappointment, everything stopped again.
He opened his eyes and Crowley was on his knees, between his thighs, looking up at him, drinking in his excited tremors and heaving chest.
"Oh, Satan, you are so…"
"Why did you stop? I was so close, again…" He managed to gasp.
Crowley's smug smile told him that he was getting his revenge, in his own way, in a wonderful torture of pleasure.

"You will come when I decide so… love."
Aziraphale came dangerously close to the precipice just for that sentence… he was damned forever.
He wouldn't have cared about anything else if for the rest of his days he could remain under Crowley, at his mercy, listening to his voice lovingly pronounce obscene commands.

He propped himself up on his elbows and watched the sight of Crowley's massive cock looming between his ass cheeks, still absurdly erect, held at bay like an aggressive dog by its master.
How Crowley didn’t explode, Aziraphale couldn’t understand. He wanted to give him relief and at the same time he wanted to feel him deeply, to know what it felt like to be connected to his love, to have it alive and pulsating inside him.

"I want you now, please!" He found himself saying, staring at the vision between his legs. He was sweaty, his hair was disheveled, the skin stretched over his ribs and expanded with every labored breath. He was broken too, but he had enviable self-control.
"Not yet, angel. Be patient."

Crowley stroked his side gently as he brought his middle finger to his lips and licked it.
If original sin had a shape, it would have been his.
A beautiful, tempting being, staring at him with longing.
How could he have even thought for a moment of changing him?
"Perfect, you are perfect." The angel murmured, admiring him entirely.

Crowley took the wet finger from his mouth and offered it to Aziraphale, who sucked it without hesitation, keeping his gaze fixed on those beautiful yellow eyes.
"That’s enough." That delicious finger pushed his tongue down and caressed his wet lips. Finally reaching its goal below.

Crowley pushed slowly, watching his reaction… after the initial resistance it went in easily and it felt good, especially when he bent it and touched a spot that sent shivers up his spine and stars behind his eyelids again.
"Ah. Yes… there, go back there, what was that?"
"Do you like it, angel?"
Crowley continued to twist his finger insistently and slowly… but the need to be filled grew in Aziraphale, it wasn't enough, he wanted more.
"Do you want another one?" Crowley asked, as if reading his mind.

"I could, yes, maybe I could handle it." Aziraphale feigned restraint, while he only wanted to be taken without too many courtesies and reach the orgasm that had so far been denied him.
"It's not a bureaucratic procedure, angel. And you don't have to pretend with me. We are still in the mind of a demon, a demon who loves you and only wants to give you pleasure, let yourself go for once…"
Crowley's eyes were fixed on him and he drank in her every expression as he inserted his index finger and pushed it in forcefully.

"Ah! You cunning and tempting demon, continue to desecrate the sacred temple of my soul..."
Whatever stupid biblical phrase he was about to utter died in Aziraphale's throat with a long groan. He felt the fingers part and spread inside him, curling up and pushing on his prostate.
Aziraphale felt like he was on fire and the sensation grew, he was going into ecstasy.

"Aaah, yes please, you're so good, don't stop!"
He arched his hips to follow the movements of the demonic hand, but as he reached out with his own to grab his cock and take his climax, Crowley chased him away and pushed down on his pubic bone with his other hand.
He touched the base of his aching member, careful not to touch it, while holding him still, while curling his fingers inside… this did something inexplicable to the angel.

Aziraphale threw his head back and covered his face with his arm, once again close to the edge. It was fucking wonderful and painful.

"Look at me, my angel, look at me while I make you come."

Aziraphale's eyes widened just as Crowley swallowed him whole, deep into his throat again.
Oh, God. If this was the very concept of mystical ecstasy he wanted it to last forever.
He couldn't arch his hips, he couldn't move, he was completely under Crowley's control who imposed the rhythm of the cunnilingus and penetrated him with his fingers with dedication and devotion.

The entire symphony of moans emitted by Aziraphale mingled with the name of his demon stretched out into disjointed syllables that formed a sinful harmony.
Here it is again, this time overbearing and violent, he was really about to…

"Crowley I-I'm going to-please I don't want to do this to you, it would be- oh, Crowley!"

Every warning was ignored, the demon didn't let go of even an inch of his cock, taking him all the way, grinding against him as his hips twisted and his climax exploded without restraint.
Aziraphale could feel Crowley's heat around him, his tongue curling and tasting, his throat swallowing open and welcoming, Crowley was drinking from him with his cheeks hollowed out to suck and he was moaning, moaning, fuck.
His demon was really enjoying giving him the most intense pleasure he had ever felt and it sent him over the edge a little more.

Another, even more violent burst of sparks obscured his vision, as Aziraphale refused to lose eye contact with what was happening, he gripped the demon's hair and spoke his name like a prayer as the orgasm continued to flow and the demon's moans mingled with his own until the last drop of cum was drawn and licked from the tip of his reddened, quivering cock.

As his tense legs relaxed, Aziraphale found himself wrapping them around Crowley's back, holding him in a vise-like grip as he writhed in pleasure.
Crowley continued to massage his insides with his fingers, while licking with his tongue what was left of his seed on his glans and after on his lips.

Aziraphale flushed with embarrassment and was overcome by hunger. That irrational and desperate hunger that he had often quenched with food while Crowley watched him.
That too, yes. That too had been a tacit voluptuous ritual, like a foreplay in the game of their age-old pretense.
It was possession, desire and absolute love.

"Thank you for the meal, absolutely divine." The demon said, smiling with those damned dimples.
Then he slowly pulled his fingers out, while Aziraphale uncrossed his legs and spread his arms.
He wanted to hold him so tightly that he would incorporate him and forget who was who. If he didn't do it immediately, he would burst into tears again.

Crowley let himself be enveloped in the embrace and bent one leg over him, his hard cock pressing into his side, still inexplicably ignored.
He nuzzled his neck, purring, and played with the curls of his chest, while Aziraphale caught his breath and came to himself, happy and sad. A sadness that sank into his guilt, his shortcomings, his lies.

"You are so good to me, while I… I don’t deserve your devotion, nor your love."
Crowley's weight was comforting, feeling him there and holding him as if he were something normal and real, was heartbreaking.
"Stop this self-punishing, penitential-after-sin Catholic bullshit. I already told you I forgave you, can you just, I don't know, shut up and hug me?"
"No, you didn't"
"Ah, so what do you call this what we're doing?"
"Making love? Is there a different name for it?"
"Remedial sex"
"Oh, seriously"
"Of course, silly angel. I forgave you while I was kissing you, I forgave you while I was sucking you, I forgave you because you are the most delicious bastard when you try to manipulate me and fail miserably. I forgave you because I can't stand to see you cry when I'm pissed, I'd rather see you cum when I'm horny. Now that I know what you look like when you're absolutely smitten and boneless, I'll never be able to stop and I intend to repeat this spectacle, imprint it firmly, until the world ends and we're trapped in this..."
He bit his lip and tapped his temple.

Aziraphale felt a little lighter as he caressed his love's soft hair. That was the sweetest and most voluptuous forgiveness he could receive.
"But that doesn't mean you've avoided the dance, I want one with three pirouettes."
"I'll do a thousand of them over and over again, a whole dance show while you use up my wine supply"
"It would be nice…"
"Yes it would be."

Neither of them was laughing yet. They both knew that this was a remote possibility, yet the jar of truth was not opened and they remained silent, holding each other like intertwined anchors that sink to the bottom and would remain in the abyss together, rather than return to the surface separately.

Crowley's breathing was so slow that Aziraphale thought for a moment he had fallen asleep, but was it actually possible to sleep inside one's own dream?
"Love?"
"Hmph, I'll get used to it if you start calling me that randomly", he grumbled.
"I'd like it to happen, that you would also call me that in public, walking and holding hands, without looking around, without being you know... always wary"
"I'll buy you a cottage, if you want it. One of those in the old-timer-catalogues you like to look through
"What? To… live together?"
"Yeah, on the outskirts, so you can use all the corny names you want without embarrassing me."
"Just for that reason? Doesn't it seem futile to you?"
"I will grow roses and begonias and you will read, cook your failed desserts or whatever else makes you happy."
"Shall we have picnics? And make love on the lawn?"
"We'll make love even on the trees if you’d ask me."
They laughed again, sadly, but they laughed.

"Do you know what I'd like to ask you now?"
"What?"
"How can you be so calm and relaxed when you literally have a hungry beast between your legs demanding satisfaction?"
Crowley stood up rubbing the beast on the angel's thigh and then looking at him intently tapped himself on the temple again and said:
"I unlocked a superpower when I realized we’re in here."

"Like when you realize you’re asleep and decide you can fly by jumping off a skyscraper?"
"Yes precisely, the power of imagination."
Aziraphale didn't know whether to laugh or be in awe.

"I've driven a burning Bentley for miles imagining it was in one piece, what's it like to manage an erection for a few hours or a few… days"
"A few… what?", Aziraphale flinched.
He didn’t know whether to be excited or scared at the prospect.
"I told you, I’ll keep you here on this couch until the world falls apart, I could fuck you and get fucked and never come if I wanted to"
"Oh, dear boy, I appreciate your absolute faith in your… "efforts", but when things get serious, I don’t think you’ll be able to resist despite your vivid imagination."
"Are you challenging me, angel?”
Aziraphale smiled mischievously.

Chapter Text

“I would be happy if all this could last but, now that I know what it feels like… it was so wonderful and impossible to stop…” Aziraphale said.

Crowley gave him an indecipherable look, but did not insist on extolling his qualities. He lay comfortably on Aziraphale’s sweaty body, hiding his face in his neck.

Aziraphale did not hesitate to hold him, he felt for some reason that he had to console him and began to whisper his feelings like an ode of love. He had always adored and venerated him.
He no longer felt wrong for this and he wanted Crowley to know it.
Above all, he didn't know when he would be able to say those words to him again, so he took a deep breath and said:

"You are the star that guides my every choice, the earth beneath my feet, you are everything to me, I wanted to tell you every day of my long existence and when I was up there, alone, with no one, really, no one who understood me... my every thought flew to my companion, who was waiting for me, who was suffering, who believed he was not reciprocated, even though the poor deluded person who had loved him for millennia was me."
Aziraphale paused emotionally, Crowley didn't interrupt him so he continued:
"It took me a while to accept it, to understand that I had found and abandoned the love I was waiting for in the same terrible moment frozen by those clock hands. I drew your face everywhere, the thought of seeing you again became an obsession, oh, my love..."

Aziraphale hugged him with all the strength he had, the most precious thing in the world was in his arms. They were in Crowley's dream, but it was Crowley who was making the angel’s deepest dreams come true.

"Ngk... stupid angel, did you really think I didn't love you back when my universe has always revolved around you? I often felt so stupid, I thought you could barely tolerate my company, but I couldn't help it, I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame. I would rather burn and die than be away from you, Aziraphale. I loved you and I will love you... forever."

Those were the most beautiful words Aziraphale had ever heard. He tried to engrave them in his mind because they would be his support... until the end.
"We are both insecure idiots" He said between laughter and tears.

"Shh, don't cry again, it's okay, I'll fix things" Crowley said to calm him down as he flexed and basked in his warmth like the snake he was. It enveloped him completely and he was cradled in turn by Aziraphale's arms and legs.

A whole of pure love and warm bodies. Even though time stood still in that moment, Aziraphale felt the silence dilating and amplifying all the other sensations: the salty scent of skin, Crowley's sharp teeth scratching without biting, the imperceptible movement of their hips in unison.
Above all, Aziraphale felt more and more intensely the hardness of Crowley pressing right next to his… oh God, he was horny again.

"What are you doing now? Didn't you want to rest?" Crowley noticed immediately.
"I never asked for a break…"
"You seemed pretty upset…" Crowley nibbled on his earlobe.
"Only from your beauty as you swallowed me." Crowley propped himself up on one arm to look at him with adoring eyes. "You are so bold as to incite me to do unspeakable things, do not continue to provoke me!"
"Now that you are mine, I would like to experience everything, even the unspeakable ones"

Crowley buried his face and teeth in the angel's chest to stifle a scream.
This made Aziraphale laugh, who in fact loved provoking him.

Then the demon wasted no time, while leaving a new mark on his neck, he hollowed himself decisively between his hips and with sinuous movements rubbed their cocks together.
Aziraphale loved the friction he felt and matched his slow swaying to Crowley's faster one.

"Ah, Crowley... shall we postpone the unspeakable things and start with the simple ones?"
"Anything you want"
"I want to feel you inside me, to merge our immortal essences"
Crowley raised himself on his arms stopping the pleasant swaying of their bodies.
"In other words, you want me to fuck you"
Aziraphale snorted in exasperation, “Do you have to be so vulgar?”

The demon chuckled and knelt between his legs, lining up their hard cocks.

The devilish smile on the demon’s face promised nothing but delight and wonder.

He slung Aziraphale’s legs over his shoulder and leaned forward slightly, wrapping his arms around his thighs.
“First I just want to… you know… I’ve been imagining doing this so often that…”

It took Aziraphale a moment to understand: Crowley bit his lower lip and blushed, then looked down, where the head of his cock poked boldly out from between the angel’s thighs.

“Ah… That’s where your thoughts wandered when you watched me tidy up the bookshop…”

“Oh, you can say that out loud… if this sofa, I mean the real one, could tell the fantasies that crossed my mind when I pretended to sleep and instead imagined holding your thighs like this”

Crowley pushed his length through the hollow of the angel's full thighs, rubbing so hard and without lube that it had to hurt…. until Aziraphale felt something wet and slimy slide against him, facilitating Crowley's rapid movements that began to moan with pleasure.

“What exactly did you imagine?”
“Olive oil, the Italian one you like so much.”
“Oh, yes, remember when you took me to that bacchanal in Rome?”

Crowley groaned and said through his teeth: “I didn't mean that, but yes… ah, yes…”
“Of course, I remember. Angel, your thighs are divine. Oh…”
Aziraphale flushed with embarrassment as Crowley took another long, pleasurable pause.

“I remember how hard it was to keep from leaping at you, taking you there among the oiled human bodies… and most of all… how you licked your lips when you looked at me… oh damn, if I had tempted you then would you have given in?” Crowley had to slow down to finish the sentence.

“Oh, well, I was looking at you because there was a big rod under your robe, but I thought it was for that young eunuch being roughly possessed on the triclinium… and yes, yes, I longed to kneel there for you, among those people. After the night at the baths I was very… receptive to you, you left me wanting to try to… but enough with the regrets! Could I, could I taste it now?”

At the sight of the shiny glans that continued to peek out between his thighs, Aziraphale licked his lips as he had done two thousand years ago at the thought of having it in his mouth and Crowley responded by biting the yielding flesh of his thigh, hard, so much that it left a blood-red flower.

Aziraphale had almost bitten his tongue from the pain, a pain that he had enjoyed and had left him breathless once again, at the mercy of the demon.
"Don't tempt me angel, I have other plans at the moment..."

The tip of his member was rubbing against the base of Aziraphale's cock, stimulating involuntary contractions every time it went and returned. It was so exciting to see Crowley push and squeeze him, use his body to fulfill one of his fantasies just because he finally could.

At the same time, it was frustrating, because Aziraphale was a greedy angel unable to wait, he wanted to feel him inside, deeply.
“Dear, I beg you, I want you to… to…”
“Are you praying to an unholy demon, Supreme Archangel?”
Crowley was toying with him again, but there was a hint of cruelty in his tone.
He said he had forgiven him, but Aziraphale sensed something unresolved.

“I want you so much, you have no idea.”
“No, I don’t. I want to hear it from your voice.”
Crowley continued to grind between his legs, looking down at him and smirking.
A beautiful, sinful demon.

“I… want this unholy demon to violate my sacred temple, to possess me like an incubus would a virgin, to take my purity and destroy it.”
Crowley lifted his long neck and arched an eyebrow. He moaned and watched as he continued to grind and take his pleasure regardless of the request.
“Crowley?”

“You are not so pure, my little bastard, I want to hear you beg.”
Crowley gently licked the spot he had previously bitten and with two fingers he teased his rear entrance again. Was he really out for revenge? Well then, Aziraphale was not a proud angel. No, sir.

“I… beg you… my love…” The golden eyes sparkled between his raised thighs and drew every dirty word that followed. “Please, I’m asking you to fuck me until we have no breath left in our bodies or until the world around us collapses… just like you said.”
Only then did Crowley truly smile, let go of his legs and kissed him with all the passion he had in his body.
“As you wish, my angel, master of my life.”

Slowly he rose and stared at him for a long moment: open and ready, waiting beneath him like a trusting sheep, ready to be led by its shepherd.
“Oh yes, I will fuck you, and I will chain you to this couch, I will not let you leave me again.”

He took the thick, shiny head of his cock and positioned it. He pushed slowly, gauging Aziraphale’s reaction, who flinched.
It wasn’t like the fingers at all. The angel let out a long moan and arched his back to give Crowley a better angle. It was strange, but mostly painful.
He gritted his teeth as the demon tried again, a small tear fell involuntarily.

“Am I hurting you, angel?”
“Yes… but no! Don’t you dare pull out, keep going.”
Crowley watched him warily as he pushed in a little more, slowly, carefully spreading him apart. Aziraphale could feel his thickness filling him and stretching him, he couldn’t help but whine again.

“You’re so tight… maybe we should change gear, it would be easier with a pussy?”
“No! I want you like this. How we were the last time we broke up, and then… I couldn’t anyway. We’re in your dream, remember? I don’t have miracles to use here.”

Crowley nodded, settled himself better between his legs and spread his ass cheeks. Aziraphale felt more oil dripping between his entrance and Crowley’s shaft, which moved back and sank again.

“Yes oh, now yes…” The angel groaned, starting to relax.
Crowley’s long snake was swelling as it descended and Aziraphale already felt so full that he could come again, at any moment, without being touched.
He opened his eyes and seeing himself so receptive, with his cock dripping on his belly, while Crowley looked at him with concern, it was too much.

He covered his face with his arms and begged him to go all the way.
Crowley did it with infinite slowness, making him feel every inch hard and hot, until it became almost unbearable to hold inside, so damn painful and… yes, pleasurable.

“Angel, look at me please”
Aziraphale didn’t want to show his face, he didn’t want to, because otherwise Crowley would have understood everything. He would have understood that Aziraphale wanted that pain for himself and yet was enjoying it. And he didn’t deserve the pleasure that his demon was giving him at all.
Looking into his golden eyes at that moment would have meant collapsing.

However, Crowley took his wrists and blocked them as he had done moments before, an eternity before, in a completely opposite, yet similar situation. Because once again he was forcing him to show himself for what he was, destroyed for him, only for him.

“Yes… there you are. Don’t you dare hide again; I want to read what you’re feeling from your eyes.”
"Crowley I... I love you so much" Aziraphale started crying again for the intense and total emotion he was feeling, with those liberating tears he wanted to expel everything: lies, repressed feelings, pain and regrets. He felt safe in letting go, because he knew that Crowley would always accept him for who he was, and he would never judge him.

Crowley stretched his neck, his expression as he pushed himself a little further inside and leaned down to kiss the angel, was indescribable.
It was a very long kiss, as their tongues intertwined and their bodies merged, Aziraphale felt joined with his only love. Finally, their immortal souls were one.

Crowley's serpentine movements were slow and undulating, for a long time he seemed to hold back to allow Aziraphale to adapt to him, to his shape. And the angel understood what it was like to make love to the one he had desired since the beginning of time.
The attention he gave him, the love that overflowed, the moans that mixed in their mouths in an increasingly high melody.

“Angel I can't hold back anymore... can you take it? You're so perfect for me, I've never felt like this, never before… ah…”
“Go, do what you want, oh… I'm here for you” Aziraphale muttered into his open mouth.

Then Crowley really started to move, his hands leaving the angel's wrists and going down to caress every inch of skin he could reach.

Aziraphale grabbed his angular back, scratching to hold himself up, crushed by the demon who pushed harder and harder, without leaving his quivering mouth.

Aziraphale's moans were muffled by the kisses, his legs were completely bent under the impetus of Crowley's thrusts as he slid in and out faster and faster. His movements were so sinuous and perfect, it seemed like he had done nothing else in his life.

How many humans had he done it with for work, or worse, how many demons had he done it with for lust?
Aziraphale didn't want to think about it, but deep down he was sure that Crowley had joined the bacchanalian orgy as soon as he had left after yet another fight.
He was sure that he had fucked the blond boy on the triclinium to vent the repressed desire that Aziraphale had not satisfied, once again out of cowardice.

He bit Crowley's shoulder to not give vent to his mad jealousy, while the punishing rhythm he was subjected to was starting to be too much to bear mixed with equally painful thoughts.

"Aziraphale... Aziraphale... mine, my angel, only mine" Crowley whispered bringing him back to reality.

Hearing him say his name sounded always like a melody, but hearing it with urgency, desire, devotion, between moans of pleasure, was a prayer.
This filled him with the truth of his love, enormous and undeniable.

"Crowley, ah, yes... you are so good, so good to me." Crowley didn't dare silence him this time, he took the compliments and looked at him with glassy eyes as he raised himself slightly.
His irises were huge, like at the beginning. Lovely, so lovely, his amber-eyed Serpent of Eden.

Since '41, when Aziraphale had asked him, he had no longer hidden them behind dark lenses in his presence. Showing him the proof of his misery as a fallen angel, the scales of his truest emotions, it was a gesture of trust and love, that too.

How could Aziraphale have been so blind?
And how could he be jealous of some stranger who had satisfied his carnal needs throughout the centuries?
The two of them had belonged to each other since the beginning of time, in all the ways two immortal souls could do it, no one could compete with that.

Aziraphale felt a sudden, fierce jolt down his spine. It felt so good he wanted it to last forever, but his body was of a different opinion. His cock was hard as iron under Crowley's belly, who continued to rub against him as he moved, giving him some relief.

Aziraphale didn't want to come before Crowley did this time either, so he decided to test the demon's superpower to push him over the edge, because by then, considering his prolonged moans, it couldn't be long.
Crowley was slumped over him, soaked in sweat, his face buried in his neck, so as he strokes the wet back of his neck, it was really easy for the angel to whisper in his ear:

“You are so big, I can feel it pulsing, don’t resist, give me everything, my love. Ah… yes, yes, Crowley, I want to come with you, as you release your seed inside me, fill me with your love”

“Fuck, angel” The demon groaned and pushed himself all the way in, bent Aziraphale’s knees completely, arched his back and released his wings. Beautiful and black as night.

“My God, you are gorgeous” gasped the angel, whose temptation had not had the desired effect, but had given him a better reward.

Being possessed by his demon with his wings spread was something he had often imagined.

“You tried, little bastard. But I can still fuck you and make you come dozens of times before I give in.” The sight of Crowley buried inside him, holding his ankles, as he started moving again and smiling with satisfaction at himself, despite the absolutely messy and distraught state he was in, with his wings spread and hips swaying, was in fact enough to drive him crazy.

“Crowley, I don’t… if you keep this up, I’m going to!”
“I knew it, see, angel? You must never challenge the devil, or you will suffer the consequences.”
Crowley tucked his knees under his buttocks without leaving him, reached a point that sent him to sinners’ heaven and without moving grabbed his cock that was begging for mercy.

“Here I am, do you like it there? Do you want me to push higher?”
Aziraphale’s eyes rolled in their sockets from the overstimulation. “I feel like I’m stuck like this, it’s too deep… ah”
“I won’t move an inch until you come”
Crowley only needed two rough blows from his closed fist to make him explode with violent pleasure.
Aziraphale screamed, as the spurt that came from his squeezed cock landed on Crowley’s chest and face, who took some with his open mouth licking his lips.

The convulsions that shook Aziraphale didn’t stop because the demon was still planted inside him up to the hilt and showed no signs of moving.

“Oh, Crowley, it’s too much, ah, get it out!” The angel arched his back to free himself, overwhelmed by the sensations. Then Crowley's hips moved away from the snare and his cock slowly slid out, while the caresses on the angel's swollen member, persistent but gentle, accompanied his release until the last drop.

Aziraphale was in a pitiful state again, stained with cum and sweat, an uneasiness heightened by the sudden emptiness of Crowley's absence. The excessive stimulation he had reached moments before had turned into a feeling of abandonment.
He would be gone, he would lose him soon, all the sex and sweet words would mean nothing, he didn't know, he didn't know...
It was all crashing down on him, thoughts, panic... why?

"No, I... I thought better of it, I want you inside, give it back to me right now"
Crowley looked at him scared but curious.
"What? Seriously? You’re just, I mean, the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 was nothing compared to…”
“Am I the master of your life or not? I need it”
This time the demon’s animalistic gaze was frenzy as well as devotion.

He collected the still-warm sperm from the angel’s belly and his chest with the tip of his finger, lubricated his shaft with it, mixing it with his own thick precum, all the while smiling shamelessly.

Aziraphale didn’t know whether to be disgusted or fucking excited by what he was seeing, but his heart showed no signs of slowing down.

Crowley manipulated him like a doll, turning him over with his legs off the couch, and knelt on the carpet in front of him, between him.
His cock was obscene: red, curved, covered in veins, smeared with their bodily fluids. Reading the lust in his gaze as he stared at it, Crowley pushed it against his ring without much ceremony.

"Oh, fuck, that hurts!" The angel protested, planting a foot on his chest.
"That's what you want, isn't it?" The demon said, grabbing the foot and kissing it.
"Yes, yes, that's what I want, hurry up."

Crowley then entered with the head of the cock, stopped to look him in the eyes and when he saw no hesitation, he plunged in all at once. Aziraphale's mouth opened wide at the sudden intrusion.
Crowley took it as an invitation, bent down to grip the back of the couch and kissed him greedily, unfurling his forked tongue down his throat.

Aziraphale felt full again, complete, even with all the heightened sensations of his orgasm, of the fact that Crowley was now treating him so roughly, he loved that too.
When he was filled by Crowley, by his cock and by his love, his head was empty.
That was what he had always longed for.

He could do nothing but mumble disjointed words, as the demon continued to hammer his already sensitive ass, devoured his face, and then stared at him hungrily.

The Supreme Archangel, the purest and most powerful being in creation, whose divinity had been soiled and completely subjugated by the demon who had brought the original sin into the world.

What if that had been the true sin all along?
The good and the evil cancelling each other out in mutual, complete, concession and acceptance.

“Mother, forgive me, for I have no regrets for what I am doing.”
He said aloud, grabbing Crowley’s shoulder blades and dipping his fingers into his sin-dark feathers. His beautiful sin.

Chapter Text

Crowley was lost, completely enveloped in the warmth of the angel who had saved his soul and condemned his heart. He always had been, but the truth of what was happening between them had only belonged to his fantasies in the past.

His feelings were meant to be hidden; his carnal desires kept as a shame. Even though he was an incurable optimist, he never hoped that one day those dreams would come true.
Yes, dreams… that was the point, the knowledge that was spoiling the happiness of that eternal moment.
Had Aziraphale confessed and given himself freely to him, only because in the bubble he had created no one could discover his dirty secret?

Even though he trusted his words and his sincere tears, even though he had truly forgiven him, Crowley sensed that something was wrong, that if he were to wake up in his bed, shocked after an intense orgasm, Aziraphale would not be beside him.
The thought alone was driving him crazy.

"Ah, Crowley, slow down... you hurt me, wait"
The voice of his angel, less than a breathless whisper, made him jump.
His soft hands were gripping the feathers of his shoulders in an attempt to resist the impetus of Crowley's thrusts, who emerged from his thoughts in a magnificent interlocking of sweaty bodies.
He had been overcome by the heat of seeing him so desirous, he did not want to be brutal.

"I, sorry, I knew I would lose control... I'm an animal"
"No! No, you are fine, just stay with me... it's strange to feel you inside, but distant, where do your thoughts wander, my love?"
They were still deeply connected, but they just looked at each other, breathing heavily into the other's mouth, mixing air and emotions.

Aziraphale had rested his forehead against the demon's with sweetness, now his hands were relaxed, caressing the places he had previously scratched.
Crowley was starting to feel cold, the only source of light and heat coming from the sun below him. The absolute center of his universe.
"I'm scared, angel. That all of this will end if I let go. I'm scared of losing you again"
There, he had said it. Now it would all go to hell.

Aziraphale laughed softly and caressed his cheek.
"Is that why you don't want to have an orgasm? Do you think you'll wake up?"
"It often happens when you feel a fright or a strong emotion during a... ngk. If I... if I couldn't stay connected and all of this suddenly disappeared, would you be there with me when I wake up?"

Silence.

"Tell me it's like this, angel, otherwise I don't understand the point of all this"
The angel's face twisted into a grimace of pain.
Crowley's heart accelerated even more, he had feared that answer more than anything since they had started making love.

Still silence.

The look of pity that crossed the angel's face was enough.
Crowley pulled out and walked away from him like a wounded cat.

"What? I didn't even answer you!"

"No need! I know you too well! Are you kidding me, angel? Did you come in here to get fucked like you were in a brothel?" Crowley held his head in his hands, in disbelief. "What am I, your gigolo? Your whore? You're just going to tip me and go on your way when you're done?"

"No! Crowley, what are you talking about? Are you crazy?" Aziraphale was scared.
"Not at all! You're not next to me! Your corporation is in fucking heaven, admit it!"
"I'm not, I'm in your apartment, I was there because I missed you, I told you!"
"Then why don't we stop this charade and fuck in my bed?!"
“This is a safe place, time doesn’t pass here and we can…”
“Bullshit, angel! I know you’re hiding something from me! Again!”

Aziraphale’s face twisted, there was regret in his gaze, the one he couldn’t hide when he lied, certainly not from the one who had studied every nuance of his expressions and every crease on his face since the dawn of time.

Crowley summoned a downpour of icy water upon himself. He had to recover from the anger and extreme excitement, he had to resist again, be lucid.

If before he had been cold, now he was shaking. He didn’t know how to make sense of everything he was feeling. His desire to be with Aziraphale was so great that it hurt, even the crumbs of that stolen relationship would have been enough to feed him for years, but at the same time he couldn’t bear abandonment again.
The pain he had felt last time had thrown him into a pit deeper than a circle of hell and after what they were sharing… it would be too much.

Aziraphale watched almost amusedly as Crowley tossed his hair back and shook out his wet feathers.

"You stupid, stupid demon."

Before he could react, Crowley found himself in the arms of his angel, who had reached out to give him that much-needed warmth, the very soul of his damned existence.

Crowley let him do it and his heartbeat slowed. As much as he hated that ambiguous situation, he couldn’t deny him anything.

If the angel wanted to use him, he would have let him, he just wanted the truth. He was tired of the secrets between them.

“If I want to be in your head it’s only because I feel safe, because we can have more time… you’re torturing yourself, you don’t need a cold shower or a superpower to resist.”
His cheek was pressed to Crowley’s heart, who tried to remain impassive, while he felt the soft hand of that tempting angel caressing his chest and slowly moving down to achieve his goal: teasing the hard and wet cock of a pissed off demon.

"You can't know, you've never slept, you don't know what it feels like to wake up in the grip of a nightmare or so excited that you feel the urge to touch yourself right away"

"No, not really." Aziraphale looked up to stare at him intensely, while his hand caressed Crowley's shaft with innocent dedication. "Have you often woken up this hard? Have you touched yourself thinking of me?"

Crowley exhaled and closed his eyes savoring the softness of that tempting hand.
"Every fucking time I slept before our fight you filled my head. And they were just fucking illusions, how do you think I can resist when all this is real and I know what we're doing?"

"I'm sure that my miracle can survive a small demonic orgasm... and if it doesn't..." Aziraphale was licking Crowley's chest, slowly moving down, to the iliac crest, where he stopped under the navel. “If it doesn’t… I’ll take care of this… big problem…”
Crowley looked down at him as he knelt before his cock as if in prayer,
“… between your slippery silk sheets…”
He grabbed the base with two fingers…
“where I am… right next to you…”
and slowly parted his lips.

“Oh, fuck.” Crowley let out a low, drawn-out grunt.
His angel’s mouth was as heavenly as he had always imagined it to be. Hungry and curious, like when he licked a cream puff or sucked on a succulent oyster.
Aziraphale sensed that things were getting out of hand and took control like he had earlier in the evening. Of the day, of the week? Seriously, how long had it been since they had dinner?

Crowley didn’t know, all his attention was focused on the obscene sounds the angel was making as he greedily licked his cock.
Crowley threw his head back, felt his knees buckle under Aziraphale’s greed, who was now devouring him. That tempting machine had to be stopped immediately or he would be doomed in a matter of seconds.

“Stop, ah… stop now” he said with little conviction.

The angel looked up with pleading blue eyes, annoyed as if Crowley wanted to take a sweet from him. At the sight the demon hissed in frustration, but told him to stop again.
Then, running a hand through his thick curls, he asked him:
“Would you like to show me your wings?”

He finally pulled away with a suction and stood up to do as he was asked: his immaculate wings spread before the eyes of the demon, who had always wanted to touch them on the rare occasions in which the angel had shown them.
They were part of their immortal essence, a mirror of their deepest nature and those of Aziraphale were bright and magnificent. They lit up the dark cave generated by the twisted mind of the demon and even made it welcoming.

Crowley took a step closer and caressed his cheek, running a thumb over his reddened lips.
"So beautiful, my Guardian of the Eastern gate."
Aziraphale's gaze softened and he kissed the hand that cradled his cheek.
"I've received a big promotion since then, you know..." he said jokingly.
"I prefer you as a principality and a bookseller who doesn't even sell a book."
Aziraphale smiled again going for another hug, but Crowley grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around.

He ran his hands through the soft feathers of his shoulder and caressed the sensitive skin from which they emerged. Then his hands reached out to the angel’s neck, slid down his chest. This time it was Crowley who hugged him with infinite love, the love that had never stopped keeping him alive during 6000 years of damnation.

"On that wall you… you saved me and I never said thank you."
"I only sheltered you from the rain, my dear."
"You did much more, believe me. You filled the void She left. You put the pieces of my broken heart back together. You made me what I am, you prevented me from being devoured by evil."
Aziraphale rested his head on his shoulder and caressed Crowley's arms that were holding him.
"I'm not as special as you make me out to be."
"Oh, you are and now… even those assholes up there noticed, unfortunately»

There was another long silence full of unsaid things. They were completely giving themselves to each other, but the time they were stealing was infinitely little to be able to fill the voids of a past of silences.

Crowley bit Aziraphale's neck, sucking a scarlet flower as he had done on every inch of his butter body. The knowledge that none of those marks would remain on his corporation, that none of them would be a reminder for him of the passion they were sharing… was an arrow to Crowley’ chest.

He had accepted and was enjoying that situation, he was not a hypocrite, but his conscience had never stopped screaming that there was something out of place.
Crowley didn’t want a compromise to be with the love of his life, he wanted it to be tangible and concrete, to leave bruises for days, to make Aziraphale blush when he looked in the mirror and thought back to the moments when those marks had been left.

Despite being the one of the two less attached to physical matter and earthly pleasures, Crowley had never wanted to be made of flesh and blood as much as he did in that moment.

“Love… ah… would you?” Aziraphale was moving very sensually, rubbing himself against his cock, while his hands wandered to caress every part of Crowley that he could reach from that position. Crowley leaned over his shoulder and saw that his angelic effort was erect and dripping again.

“You are insatiable, angel…”
“As if you didn’t know, as if you weren’t the instigator of all my vices”
Crowley grinned proudly.

“You’d devour me like you did that ox in Uz if you could”
“Oh, I could… and I was, but you interrupted me at the best part”
“Ngk, I’m not going to let you have control any longer, I know how to treat a lying and vicious angel like you”
“Really? And what do you intend to do to me?”
“Kneel on the couch and bend over”
“What, from… behind, but then I can’t look at you”
“That’s exactly the point.” Crowley concluded, accompanying the angel to where he wanted him.

Aziraphale, clutching the back of the sofa, tried to peer over his shoulder with obvious embarrassment. Crowley took his time admiring him: the white spread out wings hid nothing, framing that vision of roundness and candor that was only his own… impossible to resist.

The demon squeezed one buttery buttock, grabbed the other and made room to lick.
The angel's meows were immediate, the edge of the rim that had previously been so difficult to pass, was now yielding and ready to receive him.

He stood up and pushed the sword into its sheath up to the hilt without encountering resistance.

Aziraphale arched his back and moaned, while Crowley grabbed his hips and began to move slowly to savor his reactions.
"You're completely open now, you're made for me, see how well you take me?"

Aziraphale emitted low and prolonged noises of pleasure. His wings twitched every time Crowley's cock bottomed out, this happened without a rhythm; Crowley was penetrating him only for the pure pleasure of teasing him and impressing the sensation of being sucked by his heat.

Maybe if he took him back where he wanted, close to the edge of pleasure without giving it to him, maybe then the angel would beg and confess the last secret he was hiding.

Without eye contact, without his breath and his kisses, Crowley could do it… not that he wasn’t fucking hot from behind. His wings and his round ass were absolutely breathtaking. But at least… yeah, at least he could maintain control.

Or so he told himself as he grabbed handfuls, buried himself deeper and deeper, and it felt so good. The angel’s needy moans were growing, he was moving himself in voluptuous undulating movements.

And Crowley would have gladly let him do it, just to admire his mastery and enjoy while he slapped that perfect pink butt, but he couldn't, it was too dangerous. So grabbed his hips and held him still, sliding to half-mast to recover.

“Oh my… Cro… are you trying to make me beg again?”
“You could barely hold me in and now look at you… I only managed to shut you up when I took you so hard, did you like that so much?”
“I… yeah, it was like, ah, like floating, not thinking about anything”
“Do you want me to erase you?”
“I want to feel just you in my head, nothing else”
Crowley put one knee on the sofa and pushed in all the way to his balls, he bent over him, wrapping his arms around the angel’s neck and reaching his ear to whisper: “Didn’t I hurt you?”
“Yes, like that… oooh” the angel swallowed feeling Crowley’s breath in his ear “it’s not pain if you’re the one giving it to me”
“Why do you want to be punished, angel? You deserve only sweetness, every care, only pleasurable love»

«No… I don’t deserve anything, not even to be fucked hard by you, but at least I can take that and think it’s okay… love, don’t ask me any more questions, please… let me float once more»
Crowley could sense how close he was to tears again and decided that he could only indulge him briefly to see if he would collapse, if he would confess when exhausted.

He put his other knee on the couch as well and pushed the angel against the backrest, the white wings submitting to the dark ones. Aziraphale twisted his neck to kiss him, but he only reached his chin.

With his words he wanted a brutal treatment, but with his whole body he wanted love.

Crowley could feel his frustration as he penetrated him roughly; his wings flapping like a captured finch, as he wrapped his elbow around his neck to keep him from turning and held him down with his other hand to get a better angle.

As the blows became faster, Crowley felt a twinge in his forearm where the angel suddenly bit him him instinctively, to stifle a cry. He moaned as he continued to bite, Crowley couldn’t have understood whether it was pleasure or pain, but if he slowed to give him a breath, if he even loosened his grip, the angel protested, demanding more.

Did he really want this treatment from the one who loved him more than anything?
That masochistic desire certainly hid a deep reason, which had to be understood, which had to be treated with love, but the flashes of lucidity and contrition in the demon's mind were becoming rarer and rarer, he was enjoying himself more than he should in a similar situation and his instincts were taking over...

«I held back for so long, if I had known... ah, yes, if I had known that I could do what I wanted to you and that you would even insist on receiving it, aah, I would have possessed you for centuries, molding you under my hands and loving you as you deserve to be loved... you are so exciting and good, you commit yourself so much to me, mh?»

Aziraphale now only responded with nods, he didn't even touch himself, he was determined to give Crowley the pleasure he wanted and he tightened around his cock more and more, he even pushed himself against him with the little strength he had.
If he had chosen to make Crowley’s head a brothel away from the sight of his peers, he had also chosen to make himself the whore. He didn’t want to use Crowley, he wanted to be used.

"Do you like not having to think or decide, do you like freeing yourself from the weight that was put on your shoulders by being fucked by the enemy? The one you betrayed and abandoned? Hmm?"
Crowley was provoking him to get to the truth and when he didn't deny it, he felt a deep pain, masked by the triumph of being right "I know, ah... I know you want to free yourself and repent, ah yes, you are so oh, perverse that... I understand you perfectly... let go of my arm, I want to hear your voice, admit it"

Aziraphale opened the bite and Crowley admired the deep mark that was imprinted on his forearm. A wonderful gift from his angel.

Aziraphale didn't respond to the provocation; when he turned his face back to seat, his eyes were full of tears, but there was a challenge in his smile.
Crowley leaned over to kiss the back of his neck and lift the sweaty hair from his forehead. As he did so he reached out with his other arm to test the state of his neglected cock.

“Hard as marble and wet as a fruit to be picked, how wonderful.” Crowley teased the sensitive slit with his finger, then squeezed his swollen balls that were begging for mercy.

“Aaah… no, you don’t…”
“Have you got your voice back? Don’t you want me to touch you here?”
The angel shook his head.
“Don’t you want to come again? How many is it now? I’ve lost count…”
Aziraphale made a small, indignant noise and hid his face again.

“You underestimate me if you think I need to touch you there to make you come…”
Crowley pushed himself up on the couch with both feet, placed his hands on Aziraphale’ shoulder blades where his wings sprouted, and held him down, then pulled his cock out to the crown and thrust at a new angle.

“Aaah… yes… like this…”

This time Crowley didn’t need to be asked twice and satisfied that naughty angel with quick, punishing thrusts. He was pushing hard on his feet and flapping of wings, Aziraphale was absolutely submissive beneath him, his wings folded helplessly, his nails gripping the blanket on the couch to keep from slipping.

"Look at you, do you think that… aaah if I'm cruel to you and use you like a slut, then you'll be free from guilt?"

"Yes, I'm yours… oh… use me however you want…"
"You want it, not me… I see how you enjoy it, otherwise I would have stopped"
"I'm not, I'm not…"

He was lying, Crowley could clearly feel the shivers that shook the angel, the spasms that sucked his cock even deeper; all this increased when he rubbed the shoulder blades and wings with his thumbs, oh, of course he didn't know that that area was extremely erogenous, but he would jealously guard the information.
Crowley was very close to coming too and a part of him wanted nothing more than to release himself just like this, in that magnificent tight heat made for him, to give the angel what he wanted without asking questions. On the other hand… could he really risk it all ending without knowing the truth?

“You are the master of my life, you wanted me to free you from your thoughts and I did, this is not a fucking penance, now come for me, love”
Crowley took a big risk in latching onto Aziraphale, pulling him towards him and holding him tightly. With one of the demon’s hands on his neck, the other on his chest and his cock pushing him up, the angel came once more, without his cock being touched, just like Crowley had promised.

“Oooh my, aaah… you shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have” He moaned with his head on Crowley’s shoulder as he released onto the couch blanket and his thighs, uncontrolled.

“How do you still have it?” Crowley stroked him slowly while kissing his neck and under his hand he felt every single pounding pulse that gave him hope, that told him how real he was.

He was buried so deep and he was so close to the smell of sweat and sex of his angel’s delicious skin, that he felt an involuntary thrust of his hips and a jolt down his spine that demanded release.
"Ah... no, be quiet, fuck!"

With a flap of his wings he moved away and landed on the carpet before it was too late. He regained control of the beast between his legs, he imagined he was perfectly calm.
He breathed in and out ten times. Yes he was, of course he was.

When he looked up, he saw that Aziraphale was slumped on the sofa as if he were broken, boneless and with not a shred of strength left in his body. That was what he wanted, to make him collapse... but the sight was terribly painful.

"Aziraphale... hey, did I overdo it? I overdid it, didn't I? Why do you ask me to follow my nature when you know I'm a fucking monster and I can't control myself?! "

He had clearly broken his threshold of tolerance. "I... please forgive me, angel," Crowley tried to caress him, but was abruptly pushed away with a wing.

The angel spun around, a complete, gorgeous mess with tears streaming down his face.

"Stop apologizing! This is all my doing, you said so yourself! I came into your head, I provoked you, I deceived you, I asked you to fuck me hard and it's still me... it's still me who hides from you... I deserve nothing, much less your forgiveness after you gave me exactly what I wanted!"

That flash of strength left him all at once and Crowley watched him close his eyelids and collapse as if in slow motion. He ran to grab him and curled up with him at the foot of the couch, where he took advantage of his weakness to holding and rocking him gently.

"Whatever you're hiding from me, I don't care, you don't deserve to be mistreated and I will never do it again, even if you ask me. I love you, I've already told you and I will repeat it until the world ends."
Crowley kissed his sweaty temple, his eyes, his lips, he cleaned his thighs with a thought and held him close to his chest to calm his sobs.

"That's exactly the point... the world is about to end and there will be no time to... you won't love me, you never told me..." Aziraphale spoke shaken by tremors.

"Are you crazy? Of course I will love you, this truth will never change, when will you accept it?"

“Oh… Crowley, you don’t understand…”
The angel’s cry was desperate, it was about to tear Crowley’s heart out of his chest.

“Then explain yourself! Free yourself from this burden, you can tell me everything, I am your companion, we will face this together!”
Aziraphale broke away from the embrace and finally looked at him with eyes overflowing with tears and desperation.

“You will forget! When you wake up you will not remember any of this and I will be alone again!”

Crowley opened his mouth and closed it again like a fish out of water.

“What?”

Chapter Text

In complete disbelief of what he had just heard, Crowley couldn’t say a word or take his eyes off Aziraphale’s tear-filled ones. He couldn’t even push him away again, or separate himself from his warmth for a single moment. It was too much to process and he couldn’t believe that his angel had actually manipulated him to this extent, he didn’t believe him capable of such deception… but until now he had always been wrong to underestimate him.
He took a long, interminable sigh and asked:

“Seriously, angel? I… I can’t believe it, when you realized I was conscious, why the hell didn’t you tell me? Why the hell did you expose me like this when you knew I wouldn’t remember a thing and that… and that… oh my God, Aziraphale, you’re unbelievable, you took everything you wanted knowing all along that I wouldn’t remember a thing?! It’s fucking easy like that!”

“No, it’s not! I wanted to tell you, but you… said you didn’t see the point of making love if I hadn’t been there for you when you woke up, let alone if you hadn’t even remembered it!”
Aziraphale looked at him with eyes full of regret, but he didn’t hesitate to continue:
“I’m suffering and I’ll suffer even more later, but at least I’ll keep these moments in my heart, I’ll know that you love me and forgive me, am I really so selfish?”

The angel’s hand on his cheek was warm when Crowley took it and squeezed it. He no longer had the strength to get angry, nor to fight.

“Do you really want to bring me back to oblivion and suffering as if none of this ever happened?
Why are you doing this to the person you say you love?”

“I don’t want this, Crowley! Oh, seriously, what kind of sadistic manipulator do you take me for?”

“Didn’t you… plan this? Isn’t this another “insurance” of your miracle?”

“What?! Of course not! I never thought your conscience would emerge, let alone plan a scenario like this! Everything we shared in this dream will be lost, but not through my fault!”

Crowley was shocked, and when the angel withdrew his hand in indignation he was even more so.

“Do you seriously think I would take advantage of you like a coward who doesn’t want to face the consequences of his actions? Oh, you’ve said so many mean things to me over the years, but this, seriously, beats them all…”

“But I thought… I connected the dots and…”
Aziraphale was now pissed as well as desperate. He planted his hands on Crowley’s chest to push him away and get up from his knees, but Crowley held him back.

Why had the situation turned upside down?
It always worked that way between them, didn’t it?

“Fuck, angel, you have to calm down now, if it wasn’t you who planted a landmine in my head to erase everything good that would help me survive the next Armageddon… what makes you think I’ll forget everything?!”

“My dear, this bubble I created only allowed me to meet you in your subconscious. This is no different from any other dream, even though we are both aware of it. I may not be an expert, but I read Freud’s “The Interpretation of Dreams” and discussed it with him at the time. Apart from the strong sexual references which, frankly, I disagreed with, but now, perhaps, I could reconsider my opinions… well, he let me sit in on a few sessions and his patients had faded memories at best. Some of them didn’t remember at all. Sigmund subjected a poor woman to hypnosis to bring out nothing more than few pieces without any logical sense! I am a magician, not a mentalist, and I don't know where to begin with…”

As Crowley listened patiently to Aziraphale's rant, a huge relief crept under his skin.

“So you deduced this thing, it was eating you from the inside, you made me… oh Christ, angel, you let yourself be dominated and punished just for hiding a doubt, something that isn't even up to you?!”

Crowley pulled him to his chest and hugged him so tightly that if he had a corporation he would have been breathless. “Stupid, silly, adorable- how I adore you.”

“No, I, Cro… stop it, I'm serious!” And yet Crowley didn't stop kissing his neck, his shoulders, holding him close, smelling and tasting his skin that felt of cherry, books, and honey. How could he ever forget this?!
Finally, Aziraphale stopped struggling in his embrace and let him. He seemed to have calmed down because he began to stroke the demon's feathers and breathe more slowly.
Only then did Crowley decide to release him from his crushing grip.

"I'm not sure, but isn't that what happens? Tell me, Crowley, have you ever clearly remembered a dream after you woke up?" Aziraphale rested his head on his shoulder, the question barely above a whisper.

It was true... Crowley had rarely remembered what he dreamed and mostly faded images of the angel lingered. Dreams that had transformed after an hour at most in fog and melancholy for something he had grazed, a reciprocated feeling that in reality did not belong to him at all. What he remembered most was the emptiness that those dreams left in the following days ... could this one also turn into smoke and sadness?

"Can't you do something, angel? Can't you make me remember?"
"If I had known that you could be conscious with me, perhaps I could have set a rule when I formulated the miracle, but now ... it's too late."
"It's always too late” Crowley hissed.
"My initial intention was to calm your nightmares and with that I succeeded. Perhaps it's better this way, my love, it would be dangerous for you to remember. I must not be greedy, I have already had too much from you."

"Why do you say that? I want to know that you love me. I want to remember every tear and word, how I felt to kiss you, caress you, really be with you after millennia of abstinence and desire, I... I don’t want to go back to square one!”

Crowley held his angel like a lifeline, the only thing that would keep him from drowning in the abyss of his mind again.

“I don’t want this either, it was our first time together and… it could be our last. But at least you will be safe and I will face my destiny with the love you gave me. I have no regrets if I know you are safe.”

Crowley immediately understood the damn point of the matter. He took Aziraphale’s face in hand looking him straight in the eyes, to deliver the message loud and clear:
“If there’s going to be a war, not only will I not be safe, but I’ll also be depressed, angel. I was summoned as Duke and had every intention of answering the call before you saved my heart by entering my head.”

“What? No, you don't have to answer to hell, you have to stay hidden, wait for me, for me to…»

«I shouldn't have, angel. I wanted to go to war just to throw myself under an angelic spear and end it all! Do you understand? Oh fuck, I can't believe I'm telling you this… if I still had that thermos with holy water, I… I would have drunk it as soon as I set foot in my flat.»

Terror oozed from the angel's eyes as he realized that his noble sacrifice would not save the demon from himself.

"I saw the devastation, the dead plants, the empty bottles... so many broken mirrors... but I didn't think your anger was turned against yourself."

Aziraphale's eyes darkened, his face twisted in pain, but Crowley continued to stab with the knife:
“I went to sleep just to give myself a chance to rethink, because, oh Satan, the thought of dying in battle gave me such relief at that moment... at the end of everything, maybe, I’d get to meet you and maybe, I hoped... you’d be the one to finish me.”

"Stop it, Crowley... I could never do this to you! How did you think, oh God, if I knew that by leaving I would not protect you, but push you to... I’ve been so wrong! I could not survive if you! Why are you telling me this now!?"

"So you’ll do something! When I wake up, stay next to me! Explain everything to me, kiss me until I believe it, in reality! Please, I won’t be safe, and I’ll never be happy if you’re not with me.”

Aziraphale shook his head, stroking Crowley's hair, unable to believe, unable to accept that his love wanted to commit suicide because of him.

"I can't, I can't. The call to arms has happened. Right in this moment that we share, I ran away from my duties to come to you, love, my one and only, infinite love. I came to your apartment to apologize and say goodbye, nothing else. I was worried about you, but the fact that you were sleeping, that I couldn't talk to you one last time, drove me crazy. I shouldn't have, I'm selfish."
Aziraphale had no more tears to shed, he was with his head down, unable to process Crowley's terrible confession.
"If you saw me when you woke up, if you didn't remember anything, how do you think your reaction would be? There is no time to start over, the bells are ringing, I can hear them from here too."

It was Crowley's turn to cry. How could he accept such a fate?
"Let's stay here then, please, stay here... angel, don't go, don't leave me again."

"Time is frozen only in your mind... when the bells stop ringing they will come looking for me and find you too. They will kill you in your sleep. There is no way to escape this fate, I'm afraid."

"Well, if I must be killed, I would rather it happen in my sleep while we are making love, than under an angelic spear... am I that selfish?" Crowley replied, repeating the angel's words. He smiled and sobbed; he didn't want to give up... but he saw no escape.

"William argued that never was a story of more woe than that of Juliet and her Romeo, but he was sorely mistaken… if he had known our fate, he would have written a far more tragic work.”
Aziraphale tried to dry Crowley’s tears by caressing his face, without success.

“I never liked Shakespeare’s damned tragedies, that’s why…”
“Because you were always too sensitive to bear other people’s misfortunes.”
“Yes, well, mine… ours, that’s more than enough.”

Aziraphale straddled Crowley’s lap and took his turn embracing him, kissing away the tears on his cheeks, whispering every sappy love line from “Romeo and Juliet” to coax a smile out of him.
“Turn him into stars and form a constellation in his image. His face will make the heavens so beautiful that the world will fall in love with the night and forget about the garish sun.”
“Ew, angel, stop. Please…”
Despite the embarrassment, Crowley felt the urge to kiss him, but he did it slowly, without rushing. What was the rush if this was all that was left? All that really mattered?

“Love, love madly, love more than you can and if they say that it's sin, love your sin and you'll be innocent.” Crowley enunciated between kisses.
“I knew you’d watch it.”
“Just to tell you the reasons why it was so ridiculous.”
“And isn’t this true love? Thank you, thank you for everything you’ve always done for me. Thank you for your friendship, your complicity, your optimism even in the worst situations. Even when the world was ending you knew how to give me hope again… and even now, if this is our destiny, I just want to be next to you, holding your hand and waiting together for the end to come to us …”

Aziraphale’s words sounded like a terrible goodbye.

“Shut up, don’t say it! Shut up and kiss me while we can.”
When Crowley kissed his angel again it was with desperation. For all the opportunities they had missed in the past to be happy and for all the future ones they would never have. He needed to burn the taste of him, the touch of his tongue, his full lips between his teeth. The only reason that would keep him alive was in his arms, how could he forget about that?

Lost in passion, Crowley jumped when suddenly Aziraphale deprived him of his contact and asked out of nowhere, with a certain innocence: “Darling, wait, you… you said that if you had an orgasm you could wake up, is that right?”

“I’m almost certain, it’s happened to me… often.” Unable to take his mouth off him for a second, the demon bit down on a hard nipple that was right there to entice him. “If you… remember what happened then… do you also remember who was in the dream?” The question came out in a suspended tone that Crowley didn’t like. He raised his head, indignant.

“You, of course! The ones in the Garden of Eden are the most common, but also at the bath in Rome, on the seat of my car or on the car’s hood, yes we often do it in the Bentley” he added to answer the angel's surprised look “And… around the 80s Freddie Mercury was often with us… oh, and once David Bowie too, it must have been after that evening at the bar we spent flirt-I mean chatting. Now that I think about it, we also had Cleopatra as a guest, or rather she had us as guests, she knew how to handle a snake!”

“Crowley!!! I’m going to get jealous!”
“Hey, sorry they were always threesomes and, I mean, just fantasies”
“But It seems you remember them quite well! You’ve always had a thing for that Freddie Mars, or what’s his name?!”
Crowley was strangely pleased by his angel's jealousy and thought how many opportunities he had wasted to see him so flustered.
“Yes… Freddie was a magician with his mouth, in every sense of the word, while Cleo…”
“Enough, I don’t want to know!”
Crowley laughed with happiness because he realized he clearly remembered every fucking wet dream in which I had laid his hands on Aziraphale, with or without guests.

He had tried to forget to avoid suffering in the days that followed. He had really tried hard, especially when those same images tormented and pleased him in the solitude of his car or his apartment. In fact, every time he had met the angel after such a dream, he had to chase away the thoughts that jumped into his head so as not to have an embarrassing erection in front of him.

“Angel, you are a genius! My sexual muse!”

“You mean that if you wake up… because of a dream coitus, you will most likely remember everything?”
“What was my fear before, could be the key to everything!”
“Oh… my, I never thought my lust would save you more than my sacrifice”
“You should have asked me, I would have said there was no doubt about it!”
“Well then, we will make it absolutely memorable…”

This time it was Aziraphale who kissed him passionately and greedily, he wrapped him in his arms, his wings and his thighs. Crowley concentrated to memorize every wonderful sensation that his angel’s soft body was transmitting to him. So soft… except for one particular area.
“Angel, you are so hard again… ngk”
“Really? I would never have guessed”
“I would never have guessed that you were capable of holding a sex marathon without missing a beat”
“Do you underestimate me, foul fiend?”
“Never, you always twist my expectations”

Finally Crowley felt a weight falling from his shoulders. Even if that wonderful dream would soon end, he would make it come true, he would find his angel. They would solve things together, as they had always done. There were no more secrets that divided them and soon they would be free to be together for real.

There was no longer any need to concentrate, to resist. He could surrender to pleasure, he was free to let go.

Aziraphale pressed with his entire body, making their cocks rub together in the embrace.
From that position Crowley could easily reach every part of him, let his hands wander over his buttocks, his back, his wings, go back down and start that path full of curves again. Aziraphale rocked in pleasure and moaned as their tongues intertwined.

This was exactly how Crowley liked him, confident, ready to give and surrender, without guilt, without excuses. Everything the demon had ever wanted was right there in his arms and he would be damned a hundred times over if he forgot it, if he let it go again.

Crowley slipped a hand between them and took their cocks together. They were already so wet from sweat and precum, that there was no need for lube, he just slid from the heads and slowly worked his way down.

Aziraphale gasped in pleasant surprise, broke away from the kiss and sat up more comfortably to watch. Crowley bent his thighs slightly to give him support, while Aziraphale arched his back and enjoyed his fist.

“I like this very much, yes…” The angel joined his hand with Crowley’s, simply following his movements and using his thumb to subtly smooth the red heads at the end.
“Yeah, do you like it? What we have done till now and will do every day of our lives together?”
“We will do it in our cottage? Promise me… oh yes”
“Every day, every day, until you are full”
“Then it will take you forever to satisfy all my pent-up desires, my dear”
“Oh, it will be a wonderful eternity”

Aziraphale stopped Crowley’s fist and took a breath, looking him straight in the eyes before saying:
“If you are going to come… if you wake up after this, I want you to do it inside me.”
“Angel, I just pounded you like a toy, you came like a garden hose and then you passed out. Are you… sure you can handle another full round?”

The angel hugged him and whispered in his ear:
“I want us to be connected, I want to feel you go crazy with pleasure as you pour yourself into me. You have never come before despite all the joy you have given me and I want it to be perfect.”
Crowley’s cock had throbbed with every whispered word.
“Angel, if you don’t stop whispering these obscenities like they were Shakespearean lines, I will come right now.”

Aziraphale smiled and rose to his knees, giving Crowley a better angle to penetrate him.
“Just… take it easy, I’m still sore from your alpha-male performance.”
“Oh, I also feel very comfortable in the opposite position; if the master of my life asked for it…”

Aziraphale slowly descended onto Crowley’s curved cock, who held him still and coated him in shiny, sticky oil to make the task easier.
“Ouch… I didn’t think that after all the times that I took it… okay now it’s better”
“Can you do it, angel? I can change for you if you want, I’m comfortable with a pussy, you know”
“I noticed… aaah, yes… over the centuries, when you were- oh my-is this big snake of yours never ending?”

Crowley snickered. “It’s easier when I do it, isn’t it? ”

Aziraphale squinted and went down further, trying to speak at the same time “Yes, back in the days when you were Warlock’s nanny and… I watched you in that miniskirt and garters, you were gorgeous”

Crowley gave a little push upwards to help him with the final part and Aziraphale ended up with his arms around his neck.
“I only wore them to tease a certain voyeur gardener”
Aziraphale caught his breath and without moving tried again to adapt to the generous size of Crowley’s cock inside him.

"I've always loved watching you change. You're beautiful in every shape. I want you for who you are, not just for what you look like”

"You make me cry even when I try to make fun of you" Crowley's snake eyes stung as he listened to the words he had ever hoped to hear one day.
Wrapping his arms around his love, he savored the feeling of being inside him again, so deeply that he felt himself being sucked into a tight, hot vice.

"Oh yes, oh yes, ah..." Aziraphale was enjoying it in the same way. His face seemed relaxed this time, as if he had regained possession of something that was missing and was satisfied with it.
"I could get used to having you inside me, you fill me up so well..." The angel moved with small circles of his hips, holding onto Crowley's neck and driving him crazy with moans of pleasure.

"Angel... ah- if you don't stop provoking me you might have to watch out for my assaults even in public"
"I don't have to, I... ah, I authorize you, mmh..."
"You authorize me? To fuck you as and when I want?"
"I have to make up for millennia of stupid refusals... oh, if I had known it felt like this... oh"
The angel's words were trembling and dragged by the gasps he couldn't stop.
"You wouldn't leave me hanging in Rome? And in '41? And after we… angel, slow down, ah, yes, like this…»
Aziraphale followed the movements of Crowley's hands on his buttocks that now guided him, opening and helping him to make his way on the long lane of his cock.

«After the first Armageddon, you mean?»
«Yes, yes, I needed it so much that night, I thought that… you wanted it too, you were so sad and close, you hugged me, we slept together, and yet…»

Aziraphale was higher than Crowley, he looked at him with hypnotic languid eyes while he caressed his wet neck and concentrated his efforts to be able to respond despite the large intrusion that impaled him.

“Only -aaaah- only you were sleeping, I-I counted every, every lash that touched your cheeks, every freckle, every beautiful hair that I stroked while I prayed to save you from the holy water… so, I, so I found… mmh… the solution”
“Oh angel, you make me feel guilty”
“Why would you… wait stay, stay still, I need a moment”

Despite his boldness, Crowley could tell that he had put him to the test, that he was trying really hard to get to the end in the way he had chosen.
“Because I was excited to have you in my bed and you only thought about saving me”
The angel’s tense expression eased as he said in a low, firm voice:
“You don’t have to feel guilty for your desire… well, I confess that I took a peek when I was in your shoes”
“Naughty angel… just a peek?”

Aziraphale smiled slyly, then kissed him to close the matter, which could only mean that there was much more to tell. And Crowley was more than happy to leave the subject hanging, to explore it thoroughly in their future, where they would be free to love each other and confess everything.

At the moment the angel was fully enjoying another freedom, that of moving alone, a freedom that had been denied to him before. He had resumed the dance on Crowley's effort, going up and down faster and faster, with prolonged moans. Crowley felt so good with the weight of his angel on top of him, his hands on his curves, while Aziraphale's thick cock marked him, leaving white precum on his contracted abdomen every time it went up and down…

"Aziraphale, do you want me to, do you want me to… oh, fuck"
The angel had sat up taking him whole, Crowley's legs had given way, completely stretched out under the force of the last thrust, his balls were squeezed between the angelic buttocks, the tip of his cock touched the bottom, sucked in by a hot grip of pleasure.

"I just want you to relax and concentrate on remembering all this"
When Aziraphale finally pushed him down to impose his will, the demon could do nothing but lie down on the soft carpet and let him do it.

The contours of the room, previously dark and faded, had become a warm, shimmering gold, making Crowley feel wonderfully welcomed. The cold he had felt before had turned into a vortex of heat that started from his chest and flared up in his lower parts, where his angel was riding him.

The otherworldly vision of the one he had loved since the beginning of time, enjoying himself, sweating, with his thighs and wings spread above him, moving sensually as if it were in his nature, was something that would have branded the demon's memory.

Up until now he had done his best - and his worst - to satisfy the angel, to make sure he would not go away, to make him dependent on it and that he would ask for it again.

It was a consolidated mechanism making Aziraphale give in to a pleasure he would never do without again. And it was so anchored in Crowley’s subconscious, that he hadn't realized, he had fucked without thinking about himself, blocking his orgasm to prolong the game, he hadn't even come close to the core of true passion.

He finally understood, it had to be mutual for it to really work. For mere carnal desire to turn into unconditional love. And this, oh, this was something else entirely.

His angel was caressing every part of him, calling his name like an ode, while he enjoyed with his eyes closed. Crowley grabbed with both hands the turgid thighs locked to his sides, and began to move in return.
He gave little thrusts every time Aziraphale rose, accompanying him, never leaving him for more than a few inches.
The angel had pleasantly welcomed the change of pace leaning with his hands on Crowley's chest, while his cock twitched and dripped on Crowley's belly.

"Angel, look at me, I need your eyes"
Aziraphale opened his eyes, they were clouded with pleasure, swollen from the many tears shed, but unmistakably, through those foggy irises, Crowley saw the hidden sparks of his angel, made to be loved by the Starmaker.

Crowley moved under him, captured by that wonderful gaze, which widened with pleasure as the pace increased. Aziraphale’s mouth also fell open in silent delight, his knees buckled forward, unable to resist the forceful thrusts of the demon’s hips.
After holding back so much, he needed it desperately, he gave in to his needs and bent his knees, causing the angel to give in completely, ending up on his chest.

“There you are, the most beautiful angel in creation, who has chosen me.”
“Only you, forever.”
Aziraphale kissed Crowley again, as he held him, hugged his body and hammered his ass. The demon was wonderfully pressed, only his hips moving freely.

They were both panting into each other’s mouths, each kiss dragged and blunted by the sounds of otherworldly pleasure they were feeling.
Why did this have to end?
Why couldn’t Crowley hold him in his arms forever?

“I love you, I love you so much,” the demon said on a sigh.
Aziraphale stroked his hair softly and kissed his cheek, his chin, his neck, happy and so sad at the same time.
“Crowley, love of my existence, the kindest, aah and funny, and smart and handsome aaah yes, wonderful, oh and good at this too, ooh”
“Your compliments will kill me one day”
“Get used to hearing them when we make love, because I can’t, I can’t help myself when you’re so perfect for me”
“Ngk”

Without separating an inch, Crowley rolled to be on top.

The angel smiled and looked at him with so much love and devotion, a look that would set his soul ablaze forever.

“Oh, angel… my love, I don’t want to forget.”
“You won’t forget… you won’t, you can’t.”
Despite his words, Aziraphale’s voice cracked.
“How… how will I know it was real? Even if I remember what happened but you’re not there, how will I convince myself it wasn’t just my imagination?”
“You will know, I promise.”

Aziraphale caressed his cheek and smiled. Crowley knew with absolute certainty that this time he was telling the truth, that he would find a way.

“But you have to promise me that you’ll stay safe, I don’t want you to come looking for me, please.”
“Aziraphale… you can’t ask this of me, I want to be by your side.”
“Love of my existence, you will be there, no matter what.”
It was Crowley’s turn to end up lying on his angel’s soft chest to hug him and hide his face while he crossed his thighs to draw him deeper.
“I can’t stay hidden while you try to stop the destruction of our world.”
“I know it’s going to be hard, but my heart will be light knowing that you’re waiting for me, that you love me, that you’re alive.”

Crowley bit his lip and said what he had to say to reassure him:
“Okay, I promise.”
“Thank you, thank you. Ooh yes, I like it, more, dear, more”

Aziraphale squeezed his hair and shoulders, feeling Crowley moving again.
Now every thrust was bringing him closer, so close.
“Angel, I…”
“I know, go ahead, ah, I’m following you.”

Crowley’s thrusts became less prolonged, faster and more urgent, he grabbed Aziraphale’s cock under him because he wanted them to come together this time, at least once. He bent over the angel’s body completely, while he lifted his legs and gasped with pleasure.
Crowley's wet fist worked at the same pace as his thrusts, but his angel had been trained too well to come as easily as before.

"Crowley I love you, I love you... I'm sorry for being such a fool and a coward, I'm sorry for the wasted years, I'm sorry because you deserved so much more"
"Angel oh, it's not- it's not goodbye- stop it"
"I won't stop saying it until- oh yes, until it's burned into your... memory"
"Tell me, then, tell me"

Crowley felt his whole body go up in flames, his concentration slipping, the room tightening and fading around them.

"I love you, I love you, do you understand? You don't, ah- don't hurt yourself, because I'm coming to you, promise me"
"Yes, yes, I promise, I love you too... so much"
"It was you who gave me a dream, it was you who saved me”
“Aziraphale-oh… Aziraphale”
“Stay safe… stay safe, everything will be okay”

His love’s words were little more than a distant whisper, overwhelmed by the growing rush of pleasure Crowley was receiving, something he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, at this point.
He felt Aziraphale tighten around his cock as he poured himself into his fist, his buttocks and back contracting, sucking him in again, tighter, deeper.

His spasms gave Crowley a final rush that sent his brain blank. And finally, finally, he came with a violent jolt, breaking free, feeling a pleasure he had never felt before.
Aziraphale moaned softly as Crowley pulsed inside him… as the bubble’s edges continued to fade, nothing else mattered. Only his angel’s voice growing fainter, his hands caressing, his eyes crying, his mouth kissing him.

Then there were blinding sparks and Crowley opened his eyes to the darkness of his bedroom screaming.

“Aziraphale!”

“I love you”
“I love you”
“Stay safe”
“Everything will be okay”

Words that sounded like a distant echo filled Crowley’s head, words so beautiful they seemed impossible. He sat up, panting as if he had run a marathon.
His heart was pounding in his chest and every inch of his body was sweaty.

How long had he been asleep? He touched his face, a stubble cut flush with his chin, his hair obscuring his vision, he pushed it away from his sweat-beaded forehead.
He felt uncomfortable, disoriented, as if he had emerged from another reality, but at the same time he was satisfied, happy.

His name was still on Crowley’s lips, he had shouted it emerging into the world as if reborn, reaching out to grab it, something perfect that had escaped him, that was slipping through his fingers.
He began to cry, crushed by an inner turmoil that he did not understand. Hot tears poured down his cheeks, falling into his open hands that he continued to stare at.

Everything fell upon him. That dream that had woken him up, in which there was him, him, his one and only love that gave him everything he had always wanted… salvation and absolution.

He cried liberating tears, memories like a river in flood crowded his mind. Confused, overlapping, but so terribly concrete. The words they had said while making love were branded like the scarlet letter of their forbidden passion. Could all this be just a figment of his imagination?

“It can’t be, it can’t be, angel, where are you? Don’t leave me, please”

Crowley felt a heat radiate in his chest, he raised his head from his knees and turned around.
Next to him the sheets were crumpled, on the gray smoke of the silk, a bright white feather stood out. He took it, caressed it, felt the unmistakable warmth that had kept him alive for 6000 years and he knew it was all true.

“I will find you, Aziraphale, wait for me… I’m coming.”