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When Noah was informed about Total Drama Island by his sister Maya, he instantly applied. He was a naive sixteen-year-old who believed wit and intellect would carry him through a physically competitive show. Once his application was swiftly rejected, and he had suffered through a short mourning period of what could have been, he applied once again. This time, as an intern.

His sister had been in the television industry for years at that point, working as a personal assistant to whatever asshole had decided to hire her for a fair amount of cash. Noah supposed that interning under a star like Chris McLean would at the very least earn him a hefty enough paycheck to pay for a part of his college tuition.

Comprising an outstanding resume was much more familiar to him than a flashy audition tape, earning him a spot as an intern on Total Drama Island. Fortunately, his mother had no problems signing the contract to send him off for the summer, especially considering he had already graduated high school. Noah entered the shitty campground of Camp Wawanakwa in the hopes of earning some cash to pave the way for his education. Unfortunately, he caught the attention of Chris McLean.

Chris claimed him as the only competent intern and quickly established him as his favorite errand boy. Coffee runs turned into scheduling meetings and phone calls which developed even further into orchestrating challenges. By the end of the horrific season, Chris offered him a spot as his personal assistant.

The horrors that Noah suffered under during Total Drama Island should have turned him away from the offer, but the paycheck tempted him.

So, here he was, having survived Total Drama Action and been forced into Total Drama World Tour only to end up sitting across from Chris in his luxurious room on a rickety old airplane.

“Chris, if you called me in here to try and reinstate my contract, I already had that conversation with Chef,” Noah said. Working with Chris for the past year and a half had more than paid his tuition, and he felt as though his gap between high school and college had gone on long enough.

“Nice to see you too, Noah.” Chris took a sip out of the coffee that Noah had brought for him. “And your contract is still in place. Which is why I’ve brought you here.”

Noah sighed, Chris had that manic glee in his eye that usually meant a contestant would be suffering through a repulsive challenge. Usually, that contestant was Cody. Or possibly Tyler.

Chris continued, “As you know, Alejandro has been an absolute hit with the audience, with him being a sexy Spaniard and all, and Heather’s huge crush on him has blasted the ratings through the roof. Though, the relationship has gotten a little stale.

“The Gwen-Courtney-Duncan love triangle was epic but ended a bit abruptly for my taste. I mean, Courtney was all claws for Gwen but is only trying to make Duncan jealous by flirting with Alejandro? I want violence! Owen is a complete oaf, even if he is a fan favorite, and Sierra and Cody are a total snoozefest now!”

“As much as I appreciate you pointing out the obvious, can you get to the point?”

“Your snark never disappoints.” Chris says, “The Aftermath was hosted today and not a single contestant won the return challenge! No drama can be stirred without a new element in the mix! Please, Noah, use that hyperextended forehead of yours to provide me with a solution.”

Chris’s woes made Noah roll his eyes. Ever since he had been hired as an intern, Chris had begged him to come up with ideas. Once he provided that idea, he was usually forced to make sure it happened. Which led to an influx of under-the-table deals with contestants.

God, the number of times Noah had to pull a contestant aside just to slide them a few grand to act differently was humiliating. Every camper from Total Drama Island knew his name because of the frequency of his little deals. His most degrading moment was when he had to convince Owen to return as a mole in Total Drama Action and explain that he meant a figurative mole, not a real one.

Speaking of, that didn’t sound like a bad idea.

“You could have someone return as a mole again. Izzy wasn’t technically voted off so you could convince her to go back on. Isn’t she smart now?” Noah supplied.

Chris waved him off, “Izzy got dumb again and the mole idea totally bombed last time. Though, I do like the idea of having a saboteur…”

The hot tub in the corner bubbled as Chris pondered and Noah sat with his arms crossed. Honestly, he was beyond caring about the show at this point.

“Say, Noah…” Chris’s maniacal gleam had become even sharper, “What would you say about the possibility of winning a million dollars?”

“No.” Noah instantly connected the dots. “Not happening. I have literal weeks left in my contract, what makes you think I’m just going to drop all my plans to participate in this shithole?”

“You already are participating,” Chris reminded him. “If you come on as a contestant, it’ll make everyone sweat! A completely new guy just appears, who just so happens to know everything about everyone? Absolutely groundbreaking!”

“You’re forgetting almost all the contestants already know me because of the deals you made me coordinate. Plus, I’m not very intimidating, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“The deals they made with you will make you intimidating. You know their deepest secrets and can reveal those secrets at any moment! You can play up that evil mastermind act and totally butt heads with Alejandro.” Chris wiggled his eyebrows, “Maybe even fight with him over Heather…”

Noah cringed and dramatically gagged, “Why would I ever do that? I’m not your fucking pet, Chris.”

“Okay, rude. I can sweeten the deal if you’re so reluctant. How about two hundred thousand dollars plus the possibility of the million?”

Seriously, Noah couldn’t believe he was even considering this offer. Over a year ago he would have been ecstatic but now that he knew what reality TV was like behind the scenes, he really didn’t want to be in front of the camera. The whole reason he was going out of the country for college was so that he could particularly avoid Total Drama.

“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. I refuse.”

Chris sighed dramatically, “I mean, I was going to call up one of my professor buddies at Oxford and tell him about my amazing personal assistant, but I guess it would be a lie…”

Noah felt his eyelid twitch in annoyance. Working as Chris’s personal assistant had cut into his first semester at Oxford University, where he was supposed to be going. The only reason he remained in his classes was because of Chris’s weird relationship with the engineering professor. Losing that would cost him everything he’s worked for.

“Make it three hundred thousand plus the total security of my health and you have a deal.” Noah blurted.

God dammit, he let Chris get to him.

“Awesome! I’ll have a contract drafted within the hour!” Chris stuck out his hand for a handshake.

Noah took hold of his hand and squeezed, “Make that phone call. Now.”

“Jesus! Should I call HR? That felt like assault.”

“Everything you do on this show should be considered assault, yet here you are.” Noah turned on his heel and stormed out of Chris’s overpriced quarters, stalking down the hall.

He pushed open the door that led into the intern’s quarters, which is where he slept. Apparently, even being Chris’s personal assistant didn’t earn him any privileges. The three interns that remained were spread out among the beds, four of them unoccupied because of Chris’s constant push-interns-out-of-planes hobby, and one being Noah’s. It felt like a shitty insane asylum.

The sound and camera crew resided across the hall in similar conditions, though their rooms doubled as a storage unit for their equipment. Sometimes, Noah felt bad about how their crew was living. That was before realizing that mercy got people nowhere in this business; just look at Chris McLean.

“Yo, Noah!” Natalia greeted him, lounging on her bed on her phone. “How was your meeting with Chris?”

“Yeah, any more devilish challenges we have to test?” Jack jeered.

Jack and Natalia had worked under him during Total Drama Action, even though they were both in their twenties. It was a little gratifying to boss around those older than him, if only to take out some of the frustration that Chris made him feel.

Noah plopped down onto his bed, the one closest to the door in case Chris had an emergency, “I’m becoming a contestant, apparently.”

“No fucking way!” Pauly, who had been sitting comfortably across the room scrolling on his phone, shouted in shock. “Like a genuine real contestant? With all of those nut jobs out there?”

“You agreed to that? You?” Natalia screeched.

“To be fair, even if I lose I’m getting three-hundred thousand dollars out of it. Chris also totally threatened to get me kicked out of my college, so… I didn’t really have a choice.”

Jack chuckled, “Damn, I’d do it for the paycheck too. Couldn’t care less about the whole school thing, though.”

“That’s obvious.” Noah snarked.

Jack gasped in offense before Pauly joined the conversation again, “There has gotta be a catch. Why’d Chris choose you?”

“To summarize, he thinks the drama’s getting stale and he wants to throw a wild card in. Considering that most of the contestants know me, and the fact that I know their personal information, I’ll make them sweat.”

“Okay, smart, I guess. But why doesn’t he just pay Heather to, like, stab someone or something?” Pauly questioned.

“He brought up the idea of me becoming a rival to Alejandro and ‘fighting’ over Heather,” Noah shuddered at the memory.

Jack laughed so hard he doubled over in his bed, “You and Alejandro fight over Heather? That’ll be the easiest choice of the decade. A hot and flirtatious Spaniard or an Indian geek with daddy issues?”

Noah rolled his eyes, “You think Alejandro acts the way he does and doesn’t have daddy issues? He’s probably got mommy issues too, I’ve heard his confessionals.”

As Chris’s personal assistant, he was often forced to sort through the confessionals sent to him by the editing department. Thus, he had heard every juicy detail of the contestants' lives that they shared with the camera. Unfortunately, he had also seen the full length of the very long and very gag-worthy kiss that Gwen and Duncan shared.

Together, they bantered over the contestants’ apparent parental issues until there was a loud pounding on the door. Chef barged into the room and presented Noah with a fat stack of papers and a small blue pen.

“Get those signed by tonight. I mean it.” Chef warned.

“Sheesh, Chris might actually kill you if you have to sign that many papers,” Natalia said.

Noah sighed, “I’ll be back. Me and Chris have a lot to go over.”

--

By the time Chris and him have finally managed to agree on a contract, it’s well past midnight and that stack of papers was cut in half. Sacrifices had to be made on Noah’s end to ensure that Chris wouldn’t find some loophole to end his literal or academic life, which meant he would have to sing.

Singing wasn’t Noah’s thing and would never be his thing, but if singing is what kept him enrolled in Oxford, so be it.

He dragged himself back into the intern’s quarters with his eyes half-lidded and his fingertips stained in blue ink. Jack, Natalia, and Pauly had all fallen asleep by then, so he crawled into his own bed and shut his eyes.

--

The next day he was pulled out of sleep much too soon, as per usual, by his alarm going off on his phone. He quickly shut off the alarm before peeling himself from underneath the covers. If everything was on schedule they would be landing at Niagara Falls to film the challenge. A challenge he would have to participate in.

The money had seemed good last night, but now that he had slept on it, he was really regretting his decision. He was sure it would be worth it in the long run. He was guaranteed three hundred thousand dollars and a whole lot of embarrassment. Around him, the interns started to shake themselves awake, also forced to get up by his alarm.

Pauly was, surprisingly, a morning person and already dressed for the day, “Mornin’, guys.”

Noah waved his hand in greeting and managed to drag himself out of bed, pulling off the shorts he fell asleep in last night in favor of an identical pair. His shirt, the usual black shirt crew was ordered to wear, was stuck to his back with sweat.

Gross, he thought. Since he was technically no longer a crew member, the shirt was unnecessary. He replaced it with his own unfortunate fashion sense, triple-layered shirts.

“You’re gonna woo Heather with those clothes?” Jack, who was still half asleep, giggled.

Noah recoiled, “God, I hope not. Having to flirt with Heather would make me suicidal.”

“Managed to keep it out of your contract?” Natalia asked, also already dressed.

“Just barely. Chris was rather insistent.”

Natalia shrugged on a jacket, “Just working around her gives me the heebie-jeebies. Can’t imagine playing with her.”

“I won’t have to imagine.”

Again, a loud pounding came from the door. Chef threw open the door and announced, “We’re at Niagara Falls. Get your asses out here. Noah, come with me.”

When Chef asks something of him, Noah complies. Especially after the time he didn’t order enough beef for Chef’s secret recipe and nearly got scalped for his incompetence ruining the dish. His hair had a sad bald spot behind his ear because of it. Noah followed him down the hallway and into the large common area, devoid of life. All the contestants were already outside for the challenge.

“I’m just gonna drop you off backstage, you’ll figure out the rest,” Chef said gruffly, shoving him off the airplane.

He found himself walking with the sound crew, a department he had no hand in, and awkwardly shuffled with them towards a casino. Inside, Chris stood with his arms crossed.

“Noah! So great to see you made it!” Chris said, “The other contestants are on their way. Making them walk is inefficient but effective. Less fuel, ya know?”

“Whatever. What am I doing here, exactly?”

Chris sighed, “Show some enthusiasm. People would die to be in your place! Go stand backstage and wait until I introduce you.”

“Sounds exhilarating.” Noah turned to leave but was stopped by Chris’s voice.

“And come up with a song! This has got to be a terrific introduction, really lay on the evil thing.”

“A song? Already?” Noah’s eye twitched. “I thought you had some heart left. Guess I was wrong.”

He slipped away from Chris’s glare and hid amongst the camera crew getting into position. Matthew, their lead camera operator, gave a pitiful smile and wave before turning back to fix his camera. Being forced to sit backstage while others worked picked a nerve that Noah didn’t know he had. He was itching to put his hands to work, even if that meant getting Chris a latte… Or working on the song he was meant to sing any minute.

Not that putting any thought behind it would make the song good, probably just a little less sucky. Though, perhaps he could get a bit of vengeance from Chris if he really laid on the evil persona. A self-centered egotist who found pleasure in teenagers' pain? Sounded perfect.

From in front of the curtains, Noah heard Chris start his welcome speech, “… So, we had to rent the much less exciting concert hall!”

“Ooh, I wonder if anyone is performing?” Owen asked.

Owen wasn’t Noah’s favorite contestant — none of them were — but he was far from his least favorite. The guy was a few brain cells short of being regular stupid and had regressed to a sub-level of human, yet sometimes he made Noah laugh. Plus, Noah knew that most of those jokes were played up for the camera due to his deal with the program.

“You’re in luck, Owen, my man. The program has carefully selected a new contestant to partake in the game and we’re about to enjoy a little number from the lucky winner.”

“I hope it’s Gwen!” Cody shouted

Courtney scoffed, “He said a new contestant.”

“He’s two hundred pounds of snark wrapped in a ninety-pound package and he’s wearing the most hideous outfit ever! It’s…” Chris paused for dramatic effect, probably a little too long, “Noah!”

Noah stepped out from between the curtains and crossed his arms. All the contestants stared for a moment before Courtney let out a shrill, “What?”

“What?” Heather’s brows had shot up.

Noah, gathering his wits, started to sing in what was hopefully the most annoying voice possible, “No-no-no-Noahific is my name, dishing dirt is my game! Invading your TV with my Noahific fame.”

Owen, who seemed way too into the song, joined in as a chorus, “No-no-Noahific! So-so terrific!”

“I’m gonna be fa-fa-famous! Famous!” Noah continued.

Offstage, Noah heard Courtney loudly complain to Chris, “This is so against the rules! Does Chris think we’re a bunch of fools?”

In response, Chris sang his comeback, “Rules? This ain’t no Sunday school. Mr. Thang up there’s a rating’s jewel!”

Again, Owen sang backup, “No-no-Noahific!”

As Noah strutted across the stage, he passed Heather, who always had something to add, “Ma-ma-make me si-i-ick!”

She had been a particularly difficult contestant to negotiate with, either she was asking for more money or completely ignoring her contract. This season was especially difficult to coordinate with her because of her general reluctance to be portrayed in a positive light. They had spent three hours discussing payment for Heather to fake a romantic relationship with another contestant as a way to improve the ratings. She was given the freedom to choose the contestant to be interested in and had evidently chosen Alejandro, though Noah doubted that she was still acting.

He pointedly pulled a rope that he knew would drop a hatch that she was carelessly standing on. It was only a few feet deep, she’d survive. Seeing her shocked face as she went was a little gratifying, even if they didn’t have any personal beef.

“I’m gonna be fa-fa-famous! Famous!” Noah sang, “Get me a half fat, no foam latte steamed to a hundred and two, heat! I’m quite specific.”

Chris frowned at him, recognizing his coffee order being used in the song.

“He’s Noahific!” Owen sang happily.

Duncan rolled his eyes, “So-so horrific.”

“I’m gonna be fa-fa-famous! Famous! It’s a fact and scientific, that I’m still Noahific!” Noah crossed his arms in a final pose, ensuring not a single person thinks he was anything but an asshole.

“So, what team am I on, anyway?” He asked.

Chris was still glaring at him from the earlier coffee comment but responded nonetheless, “As of now, there are no more teams.”

The contestants celebrated amongst themselves, the boys seeming to make a small pact before separating. Then, Chef began pushing out a large slot machine in a scandalously tight pink dress.

“Nice get up, Chef.” Noah snarked, earning him a glare.

“Since we are in the honeymoon capital of the world, I thought it’d be cool to drop some arranged marriages on you.” Chris sniggered, rubbing his hands together.

The slot machine had Alejandro, Owen, Cody, and Duncan across the white tiles, a giant gold lever sticking out of the side. Sierra fangirled over the possibility of getting Cody, and Cody looked ready to keel over.

“Each girl pulls the lever to win a husband that she’ll team up with for today’s challenge!” Chris explained as Chef pulled the lever to start moving the tiles, landing on Cody. Noah could see Sierra visibly freaking out and almost wanted to knock her out just so she would calm down.

“But Chris, there is an uneven number of boys and girls.” Alejandro pointed out, “How will that work?”

Chris smirked, “Well, our new contestant Noah will be filling in for the position of a lady!”

“What? Why me?” Noah groaned.

“Someone has to, and I don’t think anyone else is lithe enough to fit into a dress. Except for Cody, but I think Sierra would seize or something.”

Unwillingly, Noah joined the girls' group as the guys were shoved into the slot machine. A few days ago Noah had read about the plans to put a live bear into the slot machine with them and felt slightly grateful that he was with the girls. Once all the boys had been shoved in, he saw the bear cage lower.

“Uhm, what’s with the bear?” Courtney asked.

“Casinos are all about excitement! Bears make things exciting!” Chris said, watching the bear drop into the box. Owen let out a frightening scream before groaning.

“Trust me, you don’t wanna land on that guy.” Chris’s eyes scanned over the contestants and landed on Noah, “How about the new guy goes first? Noah, you’re up.”

As he approaches the oversized lever, Noah sees Sierra frothing at the mouth for the chance to marry Cody. He grasped the lever and gave it a good tug before stepping back, watching the tiles spin. After a short few seconds, three pictures of Alejandro’s face pop up on the slot machine.

A few thumps and groans are heard before Alejandro slides out of the compartment, “Why hello, mi-. Oh! Hello, Noah.”

Noah raised an eyebrow, “Had a line ready for whatever unfortunate woman pulled you?”

“Not at all, it’s just common courtesy where I’m from.” He smiled.

“Mhm.” Noah agreed. Interacting with Alejandro was not quite as he suspected, having seen his confessionals. The charm is certainly more effective while directed at you, but knowing of his plans makes the effort null. However, he can certainly appreciate the general attractiveness of the Spaniard. If anything, Heather had taste.

Speaking of, she was glaring from the sidelines. Her face was pinched in a way that showed her jealousy despite desperately trying to hide it, a scowl splayed across her face. Noah knew she wasn’t good enough at acting to portray jealousy accurately, so this had to be real.

“I didn’t know you went after guys too, Alejandro.” Heather quipped, pretending to be uninterested.

“When one as interesting as Noah appears, I tend to take notice,” Alejandro says, ever the one to take an opportunity to make a girl jealous.

Watching them interact was even more horrible when he was a part of it. Heather’s huge crush on Alejandro was painful to see and Alejandro’s obvious fondness of her left him in hysterics. Nothing about this was going to be fun.

“Come on, Cupid. Time to let someone else go.”

He dragged Alejandro back to the sidelines as Heather was called up to pull the lever, much to Sierra’s disappointment. Alejandro’s eyes were glued to Heather, watching her scoff as the tiles spun.

He took this opportunity to think. The contract he had signed last night ensured that he would have to attempt a rivalry with Alejandro, luckily without any feelings towards Heather, and achieving that would be the hardest part. He would have to not-so-subtly reveal the blackmail he has over the other competitors and Alejandro himself so that the Spaniard sees him as a threat.

Noah is almost certain that Alejandro only vaguely recognizes him from Total Drama Dirtbags and glimpses he caught of him during challenges, as he’s never approached Alejandro about a deal. To get his attention, he should mention his previous position as Chris’s personal assistant and hint at the power that could hold. Dropping hints that he knew of Alejandro’s true intentions during the game would definitely make him sweat, and hopefully break him.

Once Heather pulled Owen out of the slot machine, Alejandro finally managed to drag his eyes away towards Noah. They maintained eye contact for a moment before he spoke, “Noah, you seem familiar. Have we met before?”

“I believe so,” Noah almost couldn’t resist the urge to smile. Alejandro had brought up the point himself, “I worked under Chris during Total Drama Dirtbags and throughout this season.”

A slight glint of recognition lit up in his eyes, “This season? But you are now a contestant?”

“Well, I originally applied as a contestant all the way back in Island before getting hired as an intern.” Noah explained, attempting to seem casual, “Then I became his personal assistant during Action and just kept working for him. Now, he’s decided to make me a contestant.”

“Interesting,” Alejandro fiddled with his necklace in thought. “What did working as Chris’s assistant entail? I can’t imagine working for a psychopath is fun.”

The obvious dig for information was laughable, but Noah indulged to further his plan, “Interns are the ones who are put through physical pain, I basically did everything Chris didn’t want to, which is everything. Organizing challenges, maintaining the budget, sorting through confessionals, the boring stuff, ya know?”

At the mention of confessionals, Alejandro twitched, “You’ve seen the confessionals?”

“Only the important ones.” Noah crossed his arms pointedly, “I know quite a bit about all the contestants.”

Their conversation was cut short by a sharp squeal as Sierra pulled Cody out of the slot machine. Next to them on the sidelines stood Heather with Owen and Courtney with Duncan, both couples obviously disgruntled. Heather looked ready to rip someone’s head off while Owen nervously twiddled his thumbs. Duncan and Courtney were blatantly ignoring each other by facing in opposite directions.

Sierra had Cody trapped in a bear hug, the boy hunched over and ready to collapse out of misery. He and Alejandro seem to be the only ones who aren’t completely miserable in their pairs, though Noah is certain that Alejandro is at least suspicious of him now.

“Really? No one pulled the bear?” Chris sighed. “Whatever. Everyone, head over to the next part of the challenge.”

The surrounding staff directed them further into the theater, dragging the girls, plus Noah, to the side. This challenge wouldn’t be hard, considering the fact he planned the whole thing. Last week Chris had begged him to come up with a duo challenge and, after consulting the interns, they planned the Marriage Challenge.

Noah figured ratings would be boosted if people’s ideal relationships could be portrayed or if the love triangle came to light somehow. When planning the horrendous traps the contestants would have to go through, he hadn’t considered himself going through with them too.

Natalia, Jack, and Pauly scrambled over to them with white blindfolds. Interns were usually left with the jobs handling contestants during challenges, something Noah didn’t miss from Total Drama Island after his promotion. All three of them immediately got to work, blinding the girls with no explanation. Heather squawked in protest while the other two accepted it with little protest, though Sierra complained that she wouldn’t be able to see Cody.

Once they were all sufficiently blind, they moved on to Noah.

“I cannot believe you’re actually doing this shit,” Natalia said, wrapping the cloth around his face. Jack and Pauly were in front of him, separating him from the girls.

“I’d totally kill for the chance to marry Alejandro.” Pauly swooned, “Have you seen that ponytail?”

“Heather would kill for it too,” Noah quipped.

“Ok, done!” Natalia shouted to the crew gathered around them. He heard the hustle of cameras moving and people guiding the other contestants to their positions.

The challenge was supposed to be an obstacle course directed by the grooms, though who knows what Chris could have changed since Noah joined the competition.

“Makeup!” Chris yelled from the side of the set. Without even having to see, Noah knew that all fifteen of his personal makeup artists ran to powder his face.

Noah snorted, “Typical.”

“Noah?” Heather whispered from his left.

“No, Courtney.”

He could hear Heather snap her teeth in frustration, “Don’t even. What are you doing in this game?”

“Competing for the million, just like you. Except, I don’t expect to have to come back three times.”

“You’re Chris’s little ass-kissing assistant. You shouldn’t be here!” Heather sneered, keeping her voice down.

“And why shouldn’t I be here? I have the same rights as you.” Noah shot back. “Or is it because you don’t like what I know?”

She snarled, “What you know doesn’t matter, I’m going to win this game. Plus, it’s not like you can tell anyone, that’d be a violation of our NDAs.”

“Since when were you a lawyer? Spending too much time with Courtney?” Noah snarked. Truth be told, he couldn’t disclose the contracts they agreed on, especially on camera. However, the very idea that he knew their secrets from confessionals and contracts should keep them wary of him.

At the mention of her name, Courtney pokes into the conversation, “What are you guys talking about?”

“Nothing,” Heather said.

“Contracts,” Noah supplied.

When Courtney had been suing her way back onto the show, she had been in direct contact with him. The only reason she had been able to get back into the show was because of a contract he had offered her, in which she had to stir major drama if she was allowed back onto air. Most of her deeds on Total Drama Action had been coerced by him in some way, though he didn’t want to admit it.

Neither did she, apparently, as she shied away from the conversation when contracts were mentioned. Usually, she would have jumped at the opportunity to flex her law knowledge, but Noah had thrown her off. Maybe Chris did have some good ideas.

Heather threw a wild kick in his general direction, barely grazing his knee, “Ow!”

Honestly, the girls were overreacting to his presence. Unlike Alejandro, they had already been exposed as villains in different seasons, making them untrustable by default, so Noah wouldn’t reveal anything that wasn’t already known. Even their contracts weren’t particularly incriminating, acting out of character for a bit of extra cash wasn’t exactly unheard of in this industry.

Actually, now that he thought about it, it probably was unheard of to the contestants. They had never had experience with reality television before Total Drama Island and were barely exposed to it after the show. Most of the contestants were friendly with each other, at least on the surface level, but couldn’t talk about their contracts because of the NDAs. Perhaps… they all thought their contracts were exclusive.

Noah couldn’t help but let out a short laugh. That’s why everyone was so upset! They all thought he’d expose them for getting paid by the producers, even Courtney. Sometimes, Noah was shocked by the narcissism of the competitors. How could they think they were special enough to get an exclusive contract?

Finally, Noah heard the clicking of cameras being turned on and the scattering of fifteen makeup artists, signaling that they would start recording soon.

“Three, two, one… Action!” Matthew shouted.

Chris started to speak “Because a good marriage is based on trust, and the ability to argue louder than your spouse, each groom will use a megaphone to guide his blindfolded bride safely to her gown. Only couples with a dress can continue.”

He paused, “Go!”

To his right, Courtney began to try and convince Duncan to a peace treaty, though he didn’t sound too fond of the idea.

Alejandro started shouting at him, “Noah, go forward!”

He took a few steps forward. Alejandro was probably the best person to get stuck with during the challenge since he was the most competent, but Noah had designed this course. He had carefully placed every trap so that they were confusing to navigate even for someone without a blindfold, so he used his hours of memorization to carry him through the maze.

Hopefully this would inspire a bit of fear and dislike in Alejandro, as he is not only ignoring him but also showing off his knowledge of the inner workings of the game.

Noah sidestepped a kiddie pool full of mud just as he heard Courtney splash into it with a scream. Continuing forward, he dodged a piranha-infested pool of water and a giant white wedding cake before reaching the wedding dresses. He grabbed the closest one in desperation, he had put Natalia in charge of buying the dresses so he had no clue what they even looked like.

“And Noah is the first to find his dress!” Chris shouts.

“Yes, Chico! We did it!” Alejandro shouted.

Ripping off the blindfold revealed a sleek white wedding dress. There was a deep V in the neckline, leading into over-the-shoulder straps. It was long enough to bunch on the floor even while on the tall mannequin. Noah sighed and resigned himself to his fate. This dress was obviously meant for someone with boobs, a requirement he couldn’t fill.

From his pillar, Alejandro seemed a bit peeved at Noah for ignoring him but in turn, ignored him in favor of helping Courtney. He shouted the correct directions to her, as Duncan had been guiding her into whatever trap he could, leading her to a puffy dress next to him.

Eventually, Heather had also found her way to a dress, no thanks to Owen.

Chris decided that enough time had been spent on the challenge and called all of them into a line, leaving Sierra still wandering around the traps.

“Time to move on to the next challenge!” Chris said, “Too bad, Sierra, but-”

He was cut off as Sierra leaped through the air, past all the carefully placed traps, and sailed straight into a wedding dress.

“Got it!” She yelled, “Cody, I got the dress!”

Cody stiffened on top of his pillar, his eyes going wide, “What?”

“Awesome!” Chris’s smile was pinched, “Guess all the contestants are moving on to the next challenge! The crew will direct you to where you need to be.”

Abruptly, he turned and started calling out to the workers around him. A few camera operators pulled them all off to the side and directed them to dressing rooms.

Noah carried his dress to a stall, Alejandro following behind him. His eyes kept drifting to Heather holding her dress, grumbling about the white frosting covering her. Noah sighed and entered his dressing room.

Sitting on the white chair in the corner was a tiara and a pair of sparkly diamond earrings, along with a pair of gloves. Fortunately, no high heels were set out for him to wear.

He untucked the dress from his arm and slipped it on once he had carefully folded his clothes on the floor. The front gapped at his lack of… assets, leaving it a bit loose and displaying his absent pecs. His thin waist was accentuated by the corset-like middle before flowing into the long bottom of the dress that trailed across the floor. His back was exposed about halfway down, much to his misfortune.

To be honest, it could’ve been worse. He could have gotten stuck with Courtney’s dress instead.

His ears weren’t pierced, so the earrings were useless, but he perched the crown atop his head and slid the gloves on. Looking in the mirror, he almost looked like a shitty drag queen without makeup. Noah ran his hands through his hair in frustration, knocking the crown off center, before opening the door.

Alejandro was still ogling Heather, who was in a dress less poofy than Courtney’s but considerably more flouncy than his. The top was straight cut and strapless, which was considerably flattering on her. At the sound of the door opening, he turned to look at Noah.

He froze once he caught sight of him and stared. Alejandro racked his eyes up and down Noah’s dress before settling just below his face.

Noah raised an eyebrow, “My eyes are up here, creep.”

Startled, Alejandro stuttered, “Oh, uhm.”

Almost self-consciously, Noah adjusted the straps of his dress, “I don’t exactly have the cup size for a dress like this, so don’t expect any cleavage.”

Glancing back at Heather, who was glaring at them both from Owen’s side, he spoke, “Well, I was just amazed at how that dress looks on you. I’ve never seen a man pull off a dress so well before, mi novia!”

Heather seemed to glare even harder, sending daggers into Noah’s exposed back. Obviously, Alejandro was trying to make Heather jealous by flirting with him. He supposes it would have worked even better if Alejandro was paired with a woman, but a guy’s gotta work with what he’s got.

A crew member noticed that they were all changed and herded them into two cars, each holding four of them. He and Alejandro were shoved into a cab with Courtney and Duncan, an unfortunate pair but anything seemed to be better than Heather. As the engine roared to life, the car was silent apart from their breathing.

“Stop fucking bumping into me.” Duncan snarled.

“It’s not like I can help it!” Courtney cried.

Noah glanced at Alejandro, who had a pained look on his face. The couple continued to argue in front of them but Noah ignored them in favor of talking, “Kinda surprised we got a car.”

“Yeah,” He rolled his shoulders back, “We had to walk all the way to the casino, not exactly the most comfortable thing.”

Courtney hollered, “Maybe if Gwen was here, you’d get along with her!”

“And why isn’t she here? Oh, yeah! Because of your plan to eliminate her.”

“Only because you cheated on me.”

Duncan threw his hands into the air, “It was a lapse in judgment!”

“Everything he does is a lapse in judgment.” Alejandro snarked, quiet enough so the others wouldn’t hear.

Noah snorted and Alejandro jumped, jarred at the reminder that other people can hear him. He glanced at Noah to gauge his reaction, to which he only raised an eyebrow, “I know about you. No need to act all nice.”

The reminder that Noah was aware of his charade seemed to shake him, as he stared at him in shock for a moment before looking out the window. Noah supposed that finally meeting someone who knew about his act would be odd. His accusations were unlike Heather’s, as he had actual evidence to support his claim while Heather only had her gut feeling.

Soon enough, they reached the next location, Niagara Falls. Courtney and Duncan continued to argue as they tumbled out of the car, Alejandro following behind gracefully. The others piled out of the second car as Noah stepped out. They all were ushered to a ladder leading up to a large platform and instructed to climb up one by one.

In his overexcitement, Owen began climbing first, with Duncan, Cody, and Sierra following behind soon after. Courtney huffed and followed the others up while Alejandro, Heather, and him all remained at the bottom.

“Well, I’m certainly not going first.” Heather said, “I’d never give losers like you the chance to ogle me.”

“Why, that would be rude, Chica.” Alejandro swooned.

“Would you all just shut up?” Noah sighed and began to climb the ladder.

Behind him he heard Alejandro begin the climb too, Heather most likely behind him.

Alejandro let out a sharp whistle, “Mi novia, you are quite the view! Even from here!”

“I thought ogling was rude?” He called down to them.

“One cannot be shamed for appreciating their bride! I take full pride in being your husband, mi amor!”

Noah was about ready to let go of the ladder and fall the rest of the way down, hopefully taking Alejandro with him, when he reached the top. The cameras had already been set around the platform and tightrope, filming the lined-up contestants. Both Alejandro and Heather pulled themselves up behind him as the crew called everyone to ready themselves to record.

“Couples, stand next to each other!” Jack yelled, “Even you, Courtney and Duncan!”

The couples stood with each other, some more reluctant than others, and Chris came out onto the rickety platform. A few cameramen scurried around before someone yelled for action.

“I like to call this ‘Till Death Do You Part.’” Chris said. Really, Chris had pressed for this part of the challenge to be titled that since the idea came about.

“We escaped falling down Niagara Falls just so you could make us walk over it on a tightrope?” Cody shouted.

“Even better! Each groom has to carry his bride across the gorge, and then you’ve got to successfully clear customs! The first pair to do so wins invincibility and a pimped-out wedding reception in first class.” Chris waved toward the tightrope, “Noah and Alejandro won the challenge, so I’m giving them a head start.”

Alejandro turned to him, “Ready, Mrs. Burromuerto?”

Noah saw him make eyes at Heather as he said it and had to resist the urge to roll his eyes, “If you are, Mr. Mudaliar.”

“I nearly forgot!” Chris interrupted, “Because the Falls weren’t quite unpleasant enough, we stocked them with hungry, hungry sharks.”

“Sharks?” Courtney and Owen shrieked.

Noah was surprised that the cast would even be bothered by sharks at this point, as he was certainly desensitized to them. Just last season, he had nearly lost a toe to a shark while setting up a challenge, yet that didn’t make him flinch from the amount of time he spends with them.

Next to him, Alejandro spoke with Duncan, “I know you have a fondness for that… rotund individual, but I think he poses a threat.”

“Yeah, all right, and?” Duncan said.

“Join me in voting him off and I’ll let you pick who goes next. If it’s Courtney, so be it.”

“Deal,” Duncan smirked.

Gaining alliances was an important part of the game, and Alejandro was good at it, but sometimes he let his emotions overwhelm his strategy. Owen being a prime example. The guy’s stupidity ticked Alejandro off enough that he was offering his future vote for a peaceful plane ride. Since Noah was new, and possibly the deciding vote if Courtney also sided with Alejandro, then he would likely be spoken to during or after the challenge.

Siding with Alejandro would probably get him a bit further into the game, plus allow him the opportunity to extort Alejandro in turn. Becoming enemies with the guy through an act of betrayal would be interesting too, though he would have to make outside alliances without the information getting back to the Spaniard.

Chris snapped his fingers to get everyone’s attention and pointed at the tightrope, “Time to get goin’, Alejandro and Noah.”

“Come along, better half. Let’s take advantage of our head start!” He smirked and quickly lifted him into his arms, one hand tucked against his open back and the other hooked under his legs.

Heather glared at them in silent fury, crossing her arms in an attempt to seem unbothered, but having the opposite effect. Out of the corner of his eye, Alejandro watched her reaction in glee.

He began to quickly and carefully toe his way across the tightrope, keeping Noah pressed against his chest. The obnoxious necklace he always wore dug into the arm Noah had pressed between their bodies, irritating him.

Chris made a snarky comment on the platform and signaled the other players to walk across the rope behind them. Over Alejandro’s shoulder, he saw Sierra chuck Cody over her shoulder and start sprinting towards them.

“Might wanna go faster, Mrs. Anderson is coming,” Noah said.

Alejandro quickened his pace to an almost-run, “Thank you for the observation, mi novia. I have one of my own if you’d like to hear?”

So, this is when Alejandro would try to win him over, “Is it about Owen? I honestly could care less about voting him off, he isn’t a threat.”

“My, you are observant.” Alejandro said in what was most likely meant to be a teasing voice, though it came off as tense instead, “If not Owen, who else?”

Noah had to seriously consider this question, seeing as he had no clue who he wanted off. Owen was easy to beat in a competition, and the same goes for Cody, but Sierra, Courtney, Heather, and Duncan all provided some form of challenge in physical competition. In a mental battle, Noah knew Alejandro was his toughest competitor and that none of the others came close. The most fearsome was Heather but Alejandro’s relationship with her seriously boosted the ratings and Chris would kill him if he hurt the ratings the second he was in the game. Courtney and Duncan were out also due to the revenue they brought in.

Which left Sierra as the best target, “I think Sierra would be the best.”

“May I ask why?”

“Well, she’s good at physical challenges and is fairly friendly with Heather, which could mean bad news. Plus, getting her out would free Cody up as a voter. Considering he’s easy to convince, getting him on our side wouldn’t be hard.” Noah justified, “Also, the only reason Cody’s made it so far is because Sierra is carrying him along. Get Sierra out and Cody is sure to follow when his use is fulfilled.”

Alejandro blinked down at him, taking his eyes off the tightrope for once. He stared at him with wide eyes, probably in awe of his genius, “You seem to have put a lot of thought into this. I didn’t expect such deviousness from someone of your stature.”

He put a woeful hand over his heart, “If you’re calling me ugly, that’s a horrible thing to say to your bride on his wedding day. I’m honestly offended.”

“I was not saying that! I was simply admiring your intellect.”

“Sure. Will you vote for Sierra?”

Alejandro hummed in the back of his throat, “I will consider it.”

“Great, make sure to get Duncan in on it too. We’ve already got Cody’s vote.”

“We? You seem to think marriage makes us into an alliance.” He raised an eyebrow.

Noah was shocked by the rare display of meanness from the Spaniard, “I thought planning to eliminate someone together made us into a we, even briefly.”

“I suppose I can accept that.” Alejandro said with a smirk, “Oh! It seems we have reached the other side in record time!”

They stopped in front of Chef's little blue booth. He was dressed as a police officer, small glasses perched on his nose.

He asked them a question, “Business or pleasure?”

“Pleasure,” Alejandro stated.

“Okay, then, a few questions first. What is Canada’s capital?” Chef read from his notecard, adjusting his ridiculously small glasses.

“Seriously? You guys were too lazy to change the questions I wrote?” Noah groaned.

“Hey! We were on a time crunch!”

“Whatever. The answers are, in order, Ottawa, maple leaf, Schooner Bluenose, butter tarts, and beavers.”

In stunned silence, Alejandro stood next to him. After a long pause, Chef spoke, “Wow, You got ‘em all right. Anything to declare?”

“I declare that mi novia is a very interesting competitor.” Alejandro side-eyed him.

“I declare that my husband should prepare for a challenging game.”

Carefully, Alejandro lowered him back to his feet, stepping away so that they were a good distance apart. A stupid smirk was permanently fixed on his face, staring at Noah with a questioning look in his eye.

Chris appeared from the edge of the platform and clapped for them, “Congrats, you guys. You’ll be traveling together in first class, and you’ve both won invincibility.”

Behind them, Sierra finally crossed the tightrope with Cody tucked under her arm, “I did it! Me and Cody are married! He said ‘I do!’”

“I did not!” Cody whined, “Don’t you have to sign papers to get married, anyway? Please tell me it’s not real!”

“I’m pretty sure getting married on national television doesn’t count,” Duncan said as he threw Courtney off his shoulder and onto the floor.

Owen came soon after them, with a fuming Heather in his grasp, “You big oaf! We got last!”

He chuckled, “Sorry, that cake was really slowing me down. It was so good…”

“Ugh,” Chris moaned, “No sharks? You’re all starting to get on my nerves. Anyway, the winners, Alejandro and Noah, will be heading to first class in a car! The rest of you can walk back to the plane, where you’ll be voting on who’s going home.”

The campers groaned as Noah and Alejandro were ushered down a staircase, much nicer than that death-defying ladder, and into the back of the same car they arrived in.

“You know, winning has its perks.” Noah kicked his feet up on the center console to relax, leaning back exaggeratedly.

For a long while, Alejandro sat with him in silence. From hearing his confessionals for hours on end, Noah could almost hear what was going on in his brain, a constant series of possible outcomes and paths, forever circulating until he chose a carefully thought-out option. Now, he was probably pondering how to include Noah into his previously existing plan. Hopefully also contemplating voting for Sierra instead of Owen.

After a final scrunch of his brow, Alejandro spoke, “So, you organize the challenges for Chris?”

“I do. Well, I did.”

“Is that not a bit… unfair?”

This approach was more direct and confrontational than he expected from Alejandro, but going along with it seemed like his best option, “The farthest I got in organizing the challenges was this one, I’m unaware of the next ones.”

Which was true. Chris had personally planned the next few challenges, claiming to want to reconnect with the show since Noah was going to be leaving. It was a nice load off of his busy schedule, allowing him to crack open one of the books he brought along for the first time. Now that he was on the show, he almost missed the leave and quiet of his room with the interns.

“Really? Not even an inkling of an idea?”

“Not at all. Though, I can always ensure it will be something vaguely clever and really evil when it comes to Chris designing a challenge.” Noah shuddered, “The London episode was entirely his idea, Ezekiel should have never come back.”

“Hm, so you have insider knowledge of Chris.” He tapped his fingers on his armrest, “How was it working for him? It couldn’t have been nice.”

Alejandro was charming, Noah could see that, and he was trying to turn that charm on him so that he would trust him later on in the game. Perhaps even trust him enough to spill secrets about Chris that could be used. Logically, he knew he could lie about what he did and why, but lying had never been his forte.

“It was horrible. I’d rather become Satan’s pedicurist than continue to work under him.”

“Is that why you’re on the show? To escape being his personal assistant?”

Noah rolled his neck to unsuccessfully relieve the tension that had been building there for the past year and a half, “I’m on the show because of Chris’s ridiculous blackmail. His connections are the only reason I’m still in college and I want to keep it that way. You know what they say about friends in high places.”

“College?” Alejandro seemed to ease into the conversation, keeping his charm high but relaxing into the cushy seats of the car, “Isn’t this show for teenage contestants only?”

“I’m seventeen. I graduated high school early, took a gap year, and finally applied for this semester.”

His interest peaked at the topic of conversation, “I just graduated this year. You graduated at sixteen? Impressive. What school are you going to?”

“Fifteen, actually. I’m going to Oxford.”

“Wow, you are smart, cerebrito. Unfortunately, you got stuck as Chris’s assistant instead of competing in the show sooner.”

“I doubt I could have made it this far a year ago. I was an overconfident teenager with a half-hazard plan to win, but I guess even that was a lot compared to the original cast.” Noah glanced at Alejandro, “Though I think the contestants have grown a bit more vicious.”

Alejandro turned a blind eye to his pointed look, “I agree. Heather and Courtney are rather cunning.”

He simply hummed in agreement as the car rolled to a stop in front of the old broken airplane. Pulling the door open, he held a hand out to Alejandro, “Hurry. Don’t want to be late for the reception, do we?”

“No, we don’t.” He took his hand and climbed out of the car, heading with him into the plane.

In first class a large cake was laid out for them, perfectly white with pink frosting decorating the edges and creating ribbons across the side. The rest of the decorations were sparse, a few white balloons were littered across the floor and exactly two streamers hung from the ceiling.

“Did you plan this too?” Alejandro asked.

“God, no. This is pathetic.” Noah plopped down into one of the gold painted seats of first class. They were surprisingly comfortable, especially compared to the conditions he had been living under for the past few weeks.

“Good, I couldn’t vote with someone this bad at party planning.” Across the row from him, Alejandro sat down in a chair and kicked his feet up onto the headrest in front of him.

“So you’re impressed with my earlier work with planning the challenge? I didn’t know I had fans.”

“A novice can appreciate art, I suppose. Even if that art is deadly traps,” Alejandro snorted, for the first time since Noah had met him.

Since the other contestants were walking back, he had free time to kill. Conversing with Alejandro was fun but constantly planning while talking was becoming stressful and agitating, instead he decided to take a nap. He shut his eyes and willed his mind into silence, ignoring the other boy’s breathing and faint rustling.

Just as he was drifting off, the door of the plane burst open to let the rest of the cast in. He forced his eyes shut harder, hearing Alejandro quickly scurry out of his seat to greet them. Now that the rest of them were here, all the contestants could vote as they like. Figuring there was no time like the present, Noah slipped past the over enthusiastic meeting by the door and into the confessional.

The camera was taped to the wall with neon orange spike tape, something Matthew had probably found on a shelf, with a few random screws thrown in for security. The passports were neatly organized in boxes, each labeled with a name, thanks to Natalia’s strange bursts of cleanliness. He slipped out a passport for Sierra and stamped it, putting it into the voter’s box.

Since he was in here, he should probably make a confession. Again, there was no time like the present, “I’m Chris’s former personal assistant and, as of last night, a current contestant in the show.”

To be honest, he had no idea what he was supposed to say. Typically, the confessionals gave inside thought to situations happening in the show, or in Alejandro’s case, detailed explanations of their actions. Though, he couldn’t reveal the real reasons behind his actions but figured he could really play it up for the camera here.

Noah pondered for a moment before continuing, “I want to win the million, obviously, and I’ll use any means necessary to do so. As Chris’s assistant, I’ve pretty much seen every confessional this show has had since the beginning of the series, so I have a major advantage over the other players.

“Alejandro seems to be fairly open to the idea of an alliance, though I am trying to hint to him who’s really in charge in this relationship. Owen and Cody will be easily convinced to vote with me… And Heather’s feelings towards Alejandro could be exploited. Basically, I’ve got this whole game planned out.”

He cringed once the words came out of his mouth. This whole villain thing was a fairly smart idea on Chris's part, but playing an overbearing asshole was too familiar to his job for the past year and a half to be funny. Talking to the camera like this reminded him of Justin’s confessions in Total Drama Action, which he had to sort through by hand, and only made him cringe harder.

Outside, the door handle rattled before opening. He never had gotten around to fixing the lock.

“Oh, it’s you.” Heather said.

“Nice to see you too.” Both of them were still wearing their wedding dresses, though Heather certainly wore hers better.

“Get out. It’s my turn to vote.” She pushed past him to step into the confessional.

“And who will you be voting for?” Noah asked, he wanted to know if Alejandro had gone with his strategy.

“How is that any of your business? Shouldn’t you go lick Chris’s ass clean or something?”

“I’m not his assistant anymore. I’ll tell you who I voted if you tell me who you’re voting.”

Heather scowled, “‘You show me, I show you?’ Do you think this is kindergarten?” The door was abruptly slammed in his face.

Behind him, Alejandro spoke, “Do not worry, Noah. She is voting with us.”

“So, you are voting Sierra?”

“Yes, along with a few others. You gave a fairly convincing speech.” Alejandro leaned against the wall next to the confessional.

“Do they agree that she should go or do they just follow your lead?”

“No one here benefits off of one another, we simply acknowledge that we can vote together.”

Really, Noah wondered why Alejandro was even trying to hide his blatant manipulations with him since he had already made it clear he knew.

He snickered, “You’re telling me you have no alliances? I know you better than that, Alejandro.”

An unpleasant frown overtook his face, “You don’t know me, Noah.”

The confessional door burst open and Heather stormed out. Alejandro swiftly closed the door behind him when he entered the cramped bathroom, leaving Noah to stare at the gray wall where he stood.

Damn, the guy had gotten pissed at that. He had way more emotional baggage than Noah had anticipated, even with the previous speculation on his parental issues. Alejandro obviously didn’t want people to know his true intentions, so he was threatened by Noah’s knowledge of him behind the scenes. That fear could be used to further the rivalry they’re supposed to have.

Maybe it was time to make alliances.

He turned down the hall Heather had taken to economy class and followed it until he reached the green door. Behind it he could hear faint arguing and general rowdiness, mostly from Owen. He opened the door to find Heather and Courtney tucked into the corner closest to him, whispering amongst themselves and still in their wedding dresses. Owen was devouring two granola bars, one in each first, while Cody sat next to him nervously. Sierra was across from Cody typing away on her pizza box happily, chattering about their marriage. Duncan is sitting by himself on the opposite side of the room from Courtney, fidgeting with his knife.

Ideally, he would get Owen and Cody on his side since they were easy votes then convince another contestant to vote with him. Once this tentative peace with Alejandro blows up, it would be good to have a majority vote. Sierra was, if Alejandro was true to his word, out of the equation, leaving only Heather, Courtney, and Duncan to talk to.

When it came to voting Alejandro off, which he would have to do at some point if he wanted to win, Heather would likely vote with him regardless of her crush. Courtney and Duncan would likely refuse to vote together, so he might have to choose between them. At the moment, Duncan was the easiest to talk to and Noah never was one to go for the more difficult path.

He wandered over to Duncan and sat himself down a good distance away.

“What the hell do you want?” Duncan asked.

They had interacted very few times while Noah was working under Chris. Occasionally, he would meet him for a contract and get abruptly rejected before returning to his usual work. The only contract he had signed was to get back together with Courtney during the Total Drama Action finale, and that had only been because he actually wanted to do it. Courtney had been given the same contract, though she got paid more for it.

“Just coming over to introduce myself. Have we met before?” Noah snarked. Even if he was trying to make an alliance, being an asshole always came first to him. It probably helped play into the villian persona too.

“Don’t get smart with me. Literally everyone on this plane knows what you work for Chris, not a single person is going to trust you.” He continued to scratch his knife into the wall.

“I don’t work for Chris anymore, I’m a contestant now, in case you haven’t noticed.”

Duncan sneered, “Oh, I noticed. I saw you scheming with Alejandro during the challenge, I’m not blind.”

“Scheming? How could you expect such a thing from us?” He mocked being hurt by his words.

“You and Alejandro are slimy. I’ve seen you slinking around Chris since season one, you’ve probably been waiting for a chance in the big leagues.”

Noah refused to let himself get taunted by Duncan, but the guy was starting to piss him off with his wrong assumptions. Hearing he wasn’t fond of Alejandro wasn’t surprising though, he’d listened to the confessional recordings plenty of times.

“Look, I know Alejandro is slimy. He’s like an eel dipped in grease swimming in motor oil. That’s why I want to vote him off.” Noah said, completely ignoring the rude comment, “You vote for him when the time comes and you have my vote next time you ask for it, even if it’s for Courtney.”

Duncan frowned, “A certain eel said the same thing not even an hour ago, but I’ll bite. I want Courtney gone way more than Alejandro.”

“Wonderful.” Noah stood from the bench and made his way towards the door, Owen and Cody could be saved for later. He had reached his quota on human interaction for the day. Plus, this dress was really starting to piss him off.

Once he was back in the hallway he took a left just before the first class door, turning down to where the crew members slept. The door to the interns’ room was cracked and he pushed it fully open.

“Noah! Man!” Jack shouted, “Why’re you back here?”

“Glad to know you missed me,” He grumbled, walking over to his bed, “I left all my clothes in here and I refuse to stay in this dress during the elimination ceremony.”

“Aw, but you look nice. Even Alejandro said so.” Natalia teased. Pauly was passed out in his bed, unbothered by the noise.

Noah pulled his suitcase full of clothes out from under his bed, “Gag.”

“You and Alejandro, huh? Instead of Heather you went for her boyfriend? I always knew you were gay,” Jack laughed.

Natalia laughed with him, “Maybe you’ll be new Heather now that Gwen’s gone.”

“If being new Heather requires kissing someone’s boyfriend, I’ll be fine. I’m not into eels.”

“You’ve certainly got the evilness down though. That song made me have PTSD flashbacks to Chris,” Jack shrugged.

Noah looked through the contents of his suitcase before dipping it up again, dragging it behind him and towards the door, “As fun as being bullied is, I have to get back to my wedding reception. Divorce papers won’t sign themselves.”

“Ugh,” Natalia groaned, “Such a party pooper. Have fun in first class!”

“Bye, see you never!” Jack cried, waving his hand dramatically.

“Unfortunately, I’ll have to see you guys around the set,” He dragged himself through the doorway and closed it behind him, wheeling his bag back to the main part of the plane.

Inside of first class was empty, since Alejandro was probably socializing with the losers. He quickly changed out of the dress and draped it over a seat, instead putting on the same ensemble as earlier.

Once his bag was snugly tucked into the overhead bins, Chris sounded over the speakers, “Everyone, report to the elimination room.”

There was a pause, “Now!”

Noah caught up to the other contestants as they all filed into the room, taking a seat on the bench. Noah ended up fairly close to Alejandro, on the row above him sitting next to Owen.

As Chris was pampered by the makeup crew, Owen fidgeted next to him. It was uncharacteristic of him to be quiet while there was downtime on the show and even more so for him to be nervous.

Coming into the show, he had known that the contestants would be wary of him because he was aware of their private moments in the game and outside of it, however, he hadn’t thought they would think their contracts were exclusive. Even after figuring it out through Courtney and Heather’s hesitance towards him, he hadn’t expected Owen to be the same way.

Owen had the most deals with the producers out of all the other contestants. Once he had become a fan favorite in Island, the producers had jumped onto the opportunity to get him further into the game and manipulate him with cash. He was fairly compensated for every gross joke he threw into the show, even being paid to eat or fart a bit more. Noah didn’t exactly understand the appeal, but he respected the grind for some cash.

The guy probably didn’t want the other contestants to think less of him for getting paid while he thought they weren’t — which Noah still found hilarious.

“Hey, uh,” Noah said, “We have cake in first-class, if you want some.”

Owen whipped his head towards him, “Of course I do!”

“It’s all yours.”

“Oh my god. You’re awesome.” Owen cried, wrapping him into a stuffy one-armed hug.

“Okay, that’s enough, big guy,” Noah shuffled away from him.

As Owen cheered up next to him, Chris began the elimination, “Okay, I have all your votes here… Interesting, interesting. I never saw this outcome.”

“Read them already!” Heather complained.

“Fine, fine.” Chris sorted through the passports again, “Two votes for Heather!”

Heather made an offended scoff, “Did Courtney vote twice?”

“…And six votes for Sierra!” Chris exclaimed.

“What?” Sierra shouted, clinging to Cody, “But we just got married!”

“You can’t get married without a witness, genius. Are you even ordained?” Noah rolled his eyes.

“Wait, so we aren’t married?” Cody shouted with a smile, “Thank God!”

“No! Codykins! I was gonna be your Mrs. Anderson!”

“Sierra,” He tossed her a parachute, “The gang has spoken.”

She grabbed the parachute in one hand and dragged Cody along with the other, leading them to the door. Sierra tightened the bag to her back and grabbed Cody’s face in her hands.

“I’m gonna miss you forever and ever, Cody! We should get married for real once we get back!” She pulled him in and gave him a hard kiss, much to Cody’s disgust.

After a few excruciating moments, Cody struggled from her grasp and sprinted back to the seats with a shout.

“Goodbye, Cody! I’ll talk about you on my blog-” Chris shoved her harshly out of the plane, cutting her off mid goodbye.

He smiled as her scream grew quieter the further she fell, “Awesome! Someone get me an iced latte right now. Everyone, go. Noah, stay.”

As the other contestants stalked out of the room, a few shot him questioning glares. Noah made eye contact with Alejandro, who raised a manicured eyebrow.

Once they had all left the room Chris spoke, “It’s been literal hell without you, man. I’ve had to push everything onto the interns and they aren’t nearly as effective.”

“You miss the guy who did your job for you? How sweet, I feel honored.”

“And you’ve done a great job on the show so far! The song was totally awesome and you’ve been playing up the whole evil thing pretty nicely. Voting Sierra off was good for ratings, Owen would have been too big of a loss.”

“You’re kissing up to me an awful lot. Something to say, McLean?”

“Well… The thing you’ve got goin’ on with Alejandro is amazing. Heather’s jealous of you! That’s hilarious! And Alejandro thinks you’re a manipulator like him, so you’ve established a bit of a rivalry! Nothing could be better.” Chris said, gesturing to really get his point across, “Keep doing what you’re doing and I could sweeten the deal, ya know?”

At the mention of compensation, Noah was interested, “What does that entail, exactly?”

“I want Courtney off next. She’s been harrassing Chef and me to get in contact with her lawyers because you joined the show, and you should really get that rivalry with Alejandro into full swing.” Chris continued, “We’ve only got a handful of episodes left and I want them to be big! My hot tub is gettin’ a bit rusty.”

Noah crossed his arms, “And how much will I get in exchange? I’m not working for pocket change.”

“Another fifty grand if it goes well, three if not,” Chris held out his hand expectantly.

He took his hand and gave a firm shake, “Deal.”

Chapter Text

After a rather nice nap in the first class quarters, Noah forced himself to focus on the game once again. Chris’s proposition was simple enough, seeing as Duncan couldn’t wait to get Courtney off and Noah was pretty sure Alejandro owed him a vote. Since Sierra was gone, Cody was freed for a vote and the ever trusting Owen was sure to side with the majority.

The only problem was making the contestants trust him. His presence stirred discomfort, essentially leaving him in a similar position to Heather; untrusted and unable to make reliable alliances.

Alejandro pulled him from his thoughts with a question, “Are you interested in a slice of cake, Noah?”

Somehow, the only person Noah needed to be wary of him was fine. He glanced over at the destroyed ginormous cake sitting in the middle of the room before shaking his head, “No, it’s about time I made my way back to socializing.”

“Making different alliances, are we? Did the marriage mean nothing?” Alejandro joked, though he seemed cautious.

“I thought you said we weren’t in an alliance? Jealous?”

“Just suspicious of your intentions, is all. You were rather conniving while we talked on the tightrope the other day.”

Noah smirked, making his way towards the door into economy class, “You haven’t even seen the half of it.”

The economy class held Heather, Owen, Courtney, Duncan, and Cody. Heather was sat on a bench by herself, messing with the bottom of one of her shoes.

As Noah approached, she straightened herself and glared, “What do you want?”

“Just to talk. Is that so bad?” Noah sat beside her, a safe distance away in case she tried to throw another kick.

“I can’t imagine a nerd like you being into girl talk. Chris probably sent you here to ruin my chance at the million, since I’m obviously going to win.”

“Sure, because you’ve come so close to winning it before,” Noah rolled his eyes. He needed to steer this conversation in a productive direction before he went insane, “I actually came to talk about Alejandro.”

“Alejandro? Why would I know anything? Aren’t you his wife or whatever?” Heather flapped her hand in the air dismissively, “Like, what would I even know? That’s ridiculous.”

“Mhm.” Noah hummed sarcastically, “I actually wanted to talk about possibly voting him off.”

Heather blushed, “Oh. Well, obviously I want him gone. He’s an absolute snake.”

“Great, I’m hoping to get him off as soon as possible.”

She glared, “And why is that? Do you know something we don’t?”

“What don’t I know?” Noah shrugged. This was his opportunity to really play up the villain stereotype, hopefully Chris liked it, “I know all about your past and your plans to manipulate other contestants.”

Heather looked affronted, “So what? Everyone knows about me at this point.”

“Well, I also know all about your horrifically sweet crush on Alejandro.”

She blinked at him for a second before she began to laugh, a bit maniacally, “No way…” She choked on another laugh, “You are not as scary as you think you are, nerd.”

Noah blinked. This was… unexpected. Heather seemed especially concerned about her secrets coming out during the Niagara Falls challenge, yet her reaction to his threat was underwhelming— and a bit worrying. Did he need to tell Chris to schedule psych evaluations for contestants?

Cody, who was sitting next to Heather, shifted further in his seat.

Her giggles drifted off before she spoke again, “That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard on this plane yet! And I’ve been subjected to Alejandro’s horrible face.”

“I… I don’t get it.” Noah said, lost for words, “You’re hostile during the whole bride thing at Niagara Falls but laugh in my face when I actually threaten you? I worked for Chris, I’ve seen every confessional; I know everything.”

“You don’t know what I don’t share, Noah.” Heather smirked, “I’d say I like your confidence but that’d be a lie. I hope you hop off Chris’ dick sometime soon.”

He sat in silence for a moment. Maybe Alejandro should not be his main concern, Heather obviously had some plans hidden up her sleeve. This was the most he’d ever heard Heather laugh, even if it was malicious.

Noah gathered his wits and continued, “Okay… Well, I was wondering if you’d want to create an alliance; we’d vote with each other when necessary, nothing more.”

“First off, why’d you threaten me before proposing an alliance? You are the worst strategist I’ve ever met,” She seemed to consider a moment before responding, “But okay, if only to be allied with Chris’ favorite.”

Noah internally sighed in relief, externally shrugging, “Great, I was—”

“I mean, someone needs to teach you how to properly manipulate people. That whole thing was a mess. I thought working under Chris would make you better, not worse!”

He felt his eye twitch in irritation. Heather was displeasurable behind the scenes, yet she seemed to be even more unbearable in front of the camera.

“Let’s just vote Courtney next.” Noah snapped, “She’s in competition with Duncan and ruining any possible majority votes.”

Heather frowned at him for ignoring her insults, picking at her nails to seem unbothered, “Whatever.”

“Great.” Noah stood, making his way to the confessional bathroom.

Heather had provided him with an interesting conversation and an assured vote for Courtney. However, her laughing fit at his threats made him a bit insecure. God, he really hoped Chris would not put that into the show. She had found his threat funny enough to laugh at and then ominously tease him for.

You don’t know what I don’t share? What the hell was he supposed to make of that?

As he approached the confessional, he could smell a reek coming from behind the door. The smell was reminiscent of the hours he had been forced to scrub Chef’s kitchen as a punishment when he was still a lowly intern, making him gag at the memories of mystery meat stuck to the underside of tables.

He slowly approached the door and pulled it open, only to reveal a hunched Owen. A bucket of chilis was sat in his lap, a carton of milk clutched in his hand, and a trickle of milk coming from his nose. Upon his entrance, Owen released a concoction of peppers and milk out of his nose and onto Noah’s head.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, buddy!” Noah was dripping milk onto the floor, his eyes and mouth shut tight against the liquid, “Please don’t tell Al!”

Wiping his face, Noah asked, “Don’t tell Al what?”

“Don’t tell him I’m making nose shakes! He’ll be so mad!” Owen realized the state Noah was in and picked him up, giving him a good shake to remove the liquid, “I’ll, like, totally stop if you don’t tell him.”

“Okay, okay,” Noah said, mostly to just stop the pleading, “Why are you even so concerned?”

“Well, Al told me I’m not allowed to make nose shakes because of how gross they are. And I don’t want him to hate me more than he already does!” Owen sweated in anticipation, as if Alejandro was going to catch him at any moment.

“You think he hates you?” From the clips, it was evident that Alejandro did not like the other contestant, but he didn’t expect Owen to be aware of that fact.

“Oh, yeah, but I’m trying to get on his good side since he’s such a nice guy!”

“Uh-huh,” This was the perfect time to create an alliance with Owen, especially considering his suspicion of Alejandro. All it would take is some harsh wording, but he was sure the guy could take it.

“Well,” Noah started, “I don’t think you can really change Alejandro’s mind. He’s pretty set in his ways.”

Owen looked distraught at his words, “What? But… I didn’t even make a nose shake in front of him!”

“Owen, I know a lot about all of the contestants and I can guarantee that Alejandro doesn’t like you,” As tears welled in Owen’s eyes, Noah decided to reel his harshness in a little, “But! But, if you were to vote with him and me, I’m sure he’d have no choice but to like you!”

Owen perked up again, “Really? That sounds awesome! Working with Al, I mean!”

“That’s great, bud. But let’s keep that between us, yeah?” Noah felt like he was talking to an oversized dog, leading it away with a treat and a high-pitched voice.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s cool,” Owen said, slinking his way back to economy class with his peppers and milk, a smile across his face.

Noah stepped over the large pile of milk and into the confessional, closing the door.

The camera was taped to the wall with orange spike tape, something of his own creation. The lens was dark and unsettling, a sight he was unused to due to his usual position on the other side of a camera. He stared into the lens for a moment.

“Yes, I do feel a tad bit bad about that. I’m not a total monster,” Noah fidgeted a bit, looking around the bathroom, “Honestly, these people are crazy. Not a single interaction can be considered normal and none of them seem to have even a single coherent plan. I might actually lose my mind if I have to stay here a moment longer.

“I have to, somehow, convince these psychopaths to vote off Courtney in time for tonight's elimination—assuming she loses—and keep on their good sides until they’re no longer useful.” Noah puts his chin in his hands, “How the hell did Heather do this for two seasons?”

The camera has no answer for him, only releasing a slight buzzing sound that can’t mean anything good. Chris was probably expecting a more evil monologue for him, but the most he could muster up was his genuine befuddlement regarding the cast.

He slipped out of the confessional once more just as Chef announced their arrival over the loudspeakers, “We’re landin’ soon, so buckle up!”

The usual hassle of having to secure himself to a seat before the plane nose-dived and then survive said nose-diving happened much too slowly for Noah’s taste, contrasting the rapidness in which all the contestants were shoved into cars and taken away. The cars dumped them in front of the Great Wall of China with a smiling Chris standing in front of it.

“Okay! Line up, we’re behind schedule!” Chris cheered, one of his makeup artists quickly tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. The contestants shuffled into line, Noah practically gagging at the amount of pampering Chris was enduring.

The second he was deemed ready, Chris snapped the cameras on, “Welcome to China! Our first challenge is torn from the pages of her rich history, in eight million B.C, a king led a battalion of donkey warriors down this very great wall.”

“Eight million B.C. was the Myostin Era. There were dinosaurs!” Courtney objected.

“Yeah, what she said,” Crossing his arms, Chris made a pointed, annoyed look at Noah, “We’ve provided a selection of vehicles to race to our mystery destination. They’re first come, first serve; it’s the Chinese way.”

It seems Chris only got more racist when he did not have someone writing for him. Noah saw Heather cringe beside him before Chris raised his arm, “Ready… Set—”

The Total Drama theme song cut through the quiet of the area, Chris begrudgingly picking up his phone, “McLean here. Yeah, trying to do a show.”

“Can we go, or what?” Heather asked.

“Mhm, yeah.”

Alejandro stepped forward anxiously, “Yeah we go?”

“Yeah.”

Just as Duncan opened his mouth to confirm, Noah took off in a sprint. Alejandro was hot on his heels, followed by Heather, and then the other players. In the distance he heard Chris shout in exasperation, but decided to ignore him.

He immediately made his way towards the donkey. It was the least athletic mode of transport, who could blame him? However, he saw Alejandro and Duncan approaching the skateboard and bicycle. Duncan, being the selfish prick he is, would attempt to take the bike and leave Alejandro the ‘worse’ mode of transportation. Unbeknownst to him, Alejandro was a gold medal winner at the Latin America Skate Olympics.

Noah quickly made his way over, hearing Alejandro offer the bike to Duncan as a show of friendship. He interjected, “No way, Alejandro. I’m taking the skateboard for myself.”

Alejandro blinked, “Ah, but Noah, the skateboard is much too physical for someone of your… sensitivities.”

Duncan glanced between the two of them before hopping on his bicycle, “Yeah, I’ll let you two fight over that. Later!”

As Duncan sped away, the skateboard remained between them. Again, Noah spoke, “Like I’d let the gold medal winner of the Skate Olympics take the skateboard.”

“You are eternally frustrating,” Alejandro said, his brow furrowed and a forced polite smile on his face.

“If you didn’t want me to know, you shouldn’t have bragged about it on your resume,” Noah laughed, stepping onto the skateboard and beginning to glide his way across the Great Wall of China. Noah was a normal teenager, his middle school years were filled with skateboards and ugly fake piercings, so navigating a board was easy for him.

Ahead of him was Duncan on his bike, Courtney on her tricycle, and Heather on a rickshaw, who was being slowly pulled by a donkey that Cody was sat on top of. With a few kicks off the ground, Noah was able to glide past the others to ride alongside Duncan.

“Nice speed, nerd,” Duncan smirked.

“Thanks, I hope you’re able to keep up,” Noah hopped over a suspicious looking bamboo disk, knowing Chris it was likely something deadly.

“Woah, what’s that?” Duncan shouted, gliding right over it. As soon as his wheel hit the bamboo, a large explosion boomed. Noah was a little concerned about the morality of this challenge, considering the fact that the Great Wall of China was thousands of years old and susceptible to damage, but that wasn’t his problem anymore.

He continued to skate across the wall, hearing the sound of two contestants behind him. Duncan slid up next to him with a scowl, his face covered in ash and his hair singed at the edges. On his other side, Alejandro bounced along on a bright pink pogo stick.

“How are you even going so fast on that thing?” Duncan shrieked.

“A man can have multiple talents,” Alejandro said, though he was obviously physically straining to keep up with them, “I am equally impressed with both of your speeds.”

This side of Alejandro was infuriating. Noah had already seen the vicious side of the boy from his confessionals and couldn’t stand the fake charming persona he put on around the cast.

They heard pleading shouts behind them, obviously coming from Courtney, “Amigos, may we agree to stop?”

Duncan laughed, “I mean, if you have to catch your breath. But I have to win!”

“Courtney’s in need of aid.” The three of them came to a stop.

“Oh, you wanna watch her squirm? Cool.”

“A woman in distress is a terrible thing and by helping her, we can gain her loyalty.”

“Dude, she doesn’t have any of that. Trust a guy who’s tried.”

Noah interjected, “Just let her do her own thing. I’m not helping someone who’s getting voted out tonight.”

Alejandro frowned at him, “You may do what you must.” He jogged away, leaving his pogo stick on the ground to go help Courtney.

Both Duncan and Noah kicked off again, neck to neck.

“You really think she’s getting voted out tonight?” Duncan asked curiously.

“If I have anything to say about it,” Noah knew Duncan had been waiting for this for a long time, so convincing him would be easy, “You in?”

“Am I ever! She should’ve been gone ages ago.”

Behind them, Courtney seems to have finally gotten her tricycle unstuck as Alejandro and her catch up to them. Courtney yells at Duncan, “Just standing around and insulting me while the race is still on only means one thing… You’re a loser!”

“If annoying you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.”

Alejandro looked torn between his two alliance partners, “Please, the two of you—”

Noah dodged another bomb on the floor, listening to Courtney shout, “See! Even Alejandro—”

She was cut off by an explosion, screaming as she was launched from the wall and to God knows where.

Alejandro and Duncan stopped while Noah continued forward, “Should we stop and help her?”

Duncan laughed, “What do you think? I’m going straight to the finish line.”

This seemed like enough motivation for Alejandro to continue the race, both of them trying to catch up to Noah. The finish line was rapidly approaching and they could see Chris giving a speech to the camera, likely welcoming them back from a grueling commercial break. As they each applied more speed, it became increasingly hard to stop.

“Watch out!” Noah and Alejandro shouted in unison, Duncan too busy flattening himself against the bars of his bike to do anything else. Chris leapt out of the way as they flew past the finish line at the same time.

They managed to stop a few yards away, Alejandro smirking, “Amigos, I think I beat you.”

“No, Bud, I edged you out big time!” Duncan shouted.

Noah crossed his arms, “Obviously, none of you have eyes. I came in leagues ahead.”

Chris sat up from his position on the floor as Alejandro asked, “May we check the photo-finish?”

“What show do you think you’re on?” Chris looked smug, “There’s no prize for first anyway.”

“What?” They shouted.

“If you had waited for me to say the rules, anybody that makes it over the line before the gong rings gets to join me for a very special lunch. A.K.A. the next part of the compe-tish.”

“I still won,” Alejandro boasted.

Dunca clenched his fist, “Go sit on some chopsticks.”

Just as Duncan leaned in threateningly, Cody and Heather shuffled their way across the finish line. Heather was smugly sat in the seat of the rickshaw while Cody was unhappily slouched atop the stinky donkey.

“I guess comfort was really the winner in the race,” Heather said, hopping from her seat and standing next to the gong.

Cody splayed himself on the old donkey, “Comfortable for you, maybe. My butt has never hurt this much before.”

Chris picked up the stick for the gong, “Alright people, it’s time to—”

Another large explosion went off in the distance, hurtling a large object in their direction.

“Take cover!” Duncan shouted, leading everyone to dive to the side of the Wall. The object was quickly approaching, something white and blonde and screaming.

The scream was cut short as it hurtled across the finish line and directly into the gong, where Noah finally recognized it as Owen.

“I made it!” He pumped a first into the air before falling back.

“Those shoes are a war crime!” Heather cried, pointing at the sandals that Owen had squeezed his feet into.

“And that signals the end of the challenge! Unfortunately, Courtney is disqualified due to incompletion.” Chris smiled at the cameras before turning back to the contestants, “Go into the building over there and get ready for an awesome lunch!”

Noah was, honestly, chipper. Courtney has been disqualified and therefore had no chance of winning the challenge, so voting her off would be easy. Chris had probably had a hand in orchestrating her loss, but all was fair in game shows and bribery.

The group was ushered into the building and sat at a long table. Noah was wedged between Alejandro and the end of the table, forced to be next to Chris as he got his makeup retouched.

Next to him, Alejandro whispered to him, “What did you mean about Courtney getting voted out earlier?”

Noah shrugged, “Just a hunch.”

“You’ll need to elaborate more than that, mi amigo. Voting for a fellow alliance partner isn’t very chivalrous.”

“‘Fellow alliance partner?’ I wasn’t aware I was in a multi-person alliance.”

“Marriage means my friends are your friends, does it not? You were aware and accepting of my alliance with Duncan.”

“He played to my benefit, just as he plays to yours.” Noah locked eyes with Alejandro, “Courtney failed to complete this challenge and her previous performances haven’t been great. She’s a weak link. Heather and Duncan are more than willing to vote for her.”

Alejandro considered him for a moment. Noah felt a tad bit exhilarated. He knew his reasoning was sound, even if his motivations were questionable, and Alejandro would have to give in. Battling someone as intelligent as Alejandro in wit was a new experience for him, considering he’d been working for Chris for the past few years.

“I suppose I can see your point,” Alejandro’s eyes were a venomous green, “However, I’ll need time to consider this… option.”

Well, at least he said he would consider it. Since Courtney was one of the few contestants Alejandro seemed to tolerate, he expected a bit of resistance.

Chris clapped his hands to signal the cameras and began his monologue, “To win today, you’ll have to eat more than everybody else at this totally awesome Chinese restaurant.”

Cody perked up, “Who doesn’t love wontons? Last New Years I ate about a thousand of them!”

“Except that this is the world’s most authentic Chinese restaurant.” Chris smirked, “You’ll be enjoying real street food delicacies: deep fried grasshoppers, kung pao larvae…”

This is exactly the kind of fucked up challenge Chris would orchestrate without him. A challenge that promised lots of vomiting, gagging, and overall gross bodily functions. He was always the one that had to pull him away from more grotesque episode ideas. Alejandro seemed visibly sick beside him, gagging into his hand.

“Are you okay, bro?” Duncan asked, shifting further from him.

Returning to normal, Alejandro responded proudly, “I’m fine. Where I’m from we eat barbecued guinea pig! This is nothing.” A queasy look returned to his face almost immediately.

Chris’s ringtone went off once again. He flipped the phone to his ear, “Yo, it’s McLean. Yeah… I’m trying to make a show here.” He made his way behind the film crew, chattering on the phone.

“If it’s Courtney, tell her she’s a loser!” Duncan shouted after him. Chef marched in just as the words left his mouth, Courtney in hand. She was covered in dirt and what appeared to be manure.

“What?” She said, irritated.

“Courtney! What a relief!” Alejandro held his hand to his heart.

Courtney visibly tightened her fists in anger, “Oh yeah? Do you know where I landed? In a pig pen. It’s a good thing I have a strong stomach.”

“Ah!” Alejandro said, perking up, “Good to hear.”

Noah raised an eyebrow; he was definitely planning something. From the crowd of crew, Matthew called for a short break while Chris handled his phone call. Alejandro instantly shot up and walked to Courtney by the losers bench, leaving Noah next to Duncan and Owen.

“Man, I’m hyped for this challenge! I’ve been hungry from all that running.” Owen smiled.

Duncan scowled, “You didn’t even run that far. The explosion launched you through ninety percent of the course.”

“That first mile was still pretty rough!”

“Didn’t you hear Chris talking about what the food was?” Noah interjected, “He’ll probably feed us live squid covered in mold and baby oil.”

Duncan shuddered at the imagery while Owen shrugged, “I have a stomach of steel, little buddy. I could eat just about anything.”

“Of course you could,” Duncan glared off in Chris’s general direction, “The rest of us eat like normal people. I can’t exactly stomach the thought of eating squid slop.”

Noah made a grossed out face, “I don’t even want to think about what Chef is going to scrape off the bottom of the counter and onto our plates.”

Duncan’s eye twitched and he visibly gagged, “Enough with the food. What is Alejandro doing over there talking to Courtney?”

Noah glanced behind his shoulder to Courtney and Alejandro who were whispering feverishly, “Probably nothing good.”

“I thought we were voting her out? I assumed all that niceness from earlier was just for show.”

Owen gaped, “We’re voting Courtney out?!”

“Shush!” Duncan snapped.

He resumed in a hushed tone, “I liked Courtney… I thought we would vote Heather out or something, Noah.”

Duncan raised an eyebrow at Noah, “You’ve been recruiting for this, huh? You’re making alliances faster than Alejandro.”

“Well, someone has to put in the work to get her eliminated.”

“Obviously not enough work if Alejandro is still allied with her. I thought you two would vote together because of the whole marriage thing.”

Noah scoffed, “Fake marriage doesn’t mean anything. Are you and Courtney suddenly best friends?”

“I think me and Heather are pretty close to friends now!” Owen said.

“Sure,” Duncan assured him before turning back to Noah, “So do we have his vote or not? I’d hate to have this whole thing flip on our heads.”

He glanced over again, watching their whispering turn angry, “I think we have his vote. Even if we don’t, I’ll convince him.”

“Sounds an awful lot like marriage,” Duncan teased.

Noah opened his mouth to respond, offended, before Matthew called for the break to be over. Alejandro swiftly returned to his seat beside Noah, silently glaring at the table.

“Okay,” Chris returned to the front of the cameras, “You have to eat each bowl of delish food, opening your mouth to prove it went down. If you’re last to finish or you puke, you go sit with Courtney on the losers’ bench.”

Courtney fumed on the bench, “I am a CIT. I am not a loser.”

Noah internally cringed at the mention of her CIT training. It was the bane of his existence due to her repeated mention of it throughout the show and in her audition. He had repeatedly begged Chris to give her a bribe so she’d stop mentioning it but he always refused out of spite.

Chris ignored her complaints and called Chef out with a trolley of bowls. He placed a bowl in front of each of them, the smell fumigating the room with putridity.

Cody picked the vaguely tofu-esque food up with his chopsticks, “What is this?”

The familiar ding of a song rang, sending dread throughout the cast.

“Allow me to begin today’s number!” Chris shouted, “A little Chinese lesson for you, Màn man chī means enjoy your meal.”

The other contestants repeated his saying. “Màn man chī. It’s no raw deal.”

They all picked up the chunk of mysterious meat, Cody asking, “Is it raw eel?”

“It’s donkey meat, a local delicacy!” Chris smiled maliciously.

Alejandro gagged next to him, followed by Duncan and Heather.

Cody gasped and stood from his seat in horror, “Ace? Where are you? Fart if you can hear me!”

Heather pulled him back down to his seat, “Forget about the stupid donkey and eat it, dipshit.”

Noah picked up the piece of questionable meat and shoved it in his mouth. The texture was rubbery and oddly tasted like overcooked chicken with a dash of moldy honeydew. Beside him, Alejandro held the meat to his lips in fear while Duncan slowly chewed his. Owen devoured his in a quick bite and Heather managed to choke her portion down.

Noah swallowed his bite just as Alejandro put it in his mouth.

“Hurry up, Cody!” Heather shouted. Noah was not aware of an alliance between the two, but he could see Heather’s reasoning for choosing to ally with him. Cody was easy to manipulate and just on the right side of ignorant.

Suddenly, Alejandro loudly gagged and vomited across the table.

“Gross!” Duncan shouted just as Heather screamed,

“Ew!”

Cody’s jaw dropped, “I can’t eat a donkey! I can’t!”

Chris made a disgusted face at the vomit sprayed across the table, “Oh… Not cool, man, not cool. Chef, come clean this up.”

Begrudgingly, Chef made his way to the table with a bottle of disinfectant and a rag.

“Cody and Alejandro, both of you head to the losers’ bench!”

“Awe,” Cody sighed as he shuffled to sit next to Courtney.

For a moment, Alejandro continued to dry-heave over the table. Noah patted his back awkwardly, “You good man?”

“I’ll do it.”

“What?”

“I’ll vote for Courtney.”

Noah felt himself perk up. He knew he would come around, even if he did not know what convinced him, “Cool. Glad something good came out of the vomit.”

Alejandro looked nauseous at the very mention of vomit, definitely not helped by the view of Chef mopping up his mess in front of him. Eventually he made his way to the losers’ bench and Chris resumed the show with a pristinely clean table.

Again, a bowl was placed in front of each of them. This time, dozens of flesh colored worms wriggled in the bowl.

Chris began the song again, “Màn man chī means bon appetit.”

“Màn man chī, what do we have to eat?” They chorused.

Heather cried, “It’s still moving its feet! Its hundreds and hundreds of disgusting little feet!”

“Live mealworms!” Chris supplied, “A local delicacy.”

Without hesitation, Owen picked the bowl up and shoveled the wriggling worms down his throat. After a few long seconds of chewing, he said, “A little too soft, if you ask me.”

“Seriously?” Heather asked around a mouthful of mealworms, “You’re enjoying this?!”

Noah turned to his bowl and forced half of it into his mouth, hoping for it to be over as soon as possible. This was almost familiar to him, reminding him of when his sisters would force-feed him worms on the playground when they were annoyed with him. He felt his stomach churn as they went down, but he was able to finish the putrid bowl.

Duncan chewed on the worms alongside Heather, barely beating her out, “Done!”

“Heather, you’re out. Losers’ bench!” In spite, Heather spit the remaining mushed up worms onto Chris, effectively staining his shirt.

“What the hell? I just had this dry cleaned!” Chris shouted after her as she pointedly ignored him on the losers’ bench. “Whatever... Màn man chī, it's dinner for three.”

“Màn man chī, it’s enough for me.”

Duncan gagged as a starfish was placed in front of them, “I think I’m nearly done for.”

“Starfish on a skewer! Local delicacy!”

Duncan cringed while watching Owen take a large bite of the slimy sea creature. He attempted to conjure images of other foods, “Bacon, bacon, bacon…”

Noah was a little less sure of this one, he was pretty sure his starfish was still twitching on the skewer. Hesitantly, he nibbled one of the five limbs. It tasted oddly like sashimi and raisins.

Did he really have to eat this? Courtney was already out, it did not really matter if he won, right?

Duncan choked down another bite next to him, “Done!”

“Noah! Losers’ bench for you!” Chris exclaimed, “I expected better from a man like yourself.”

“Well, regularly eating Chef’s cooking can only get me so far.”

Chef glared at him. Well, there goes any benefits at dinner time for being his favorite.

At the losers’ bench Alejandro and Courtney were definitely avoiding each, probably due to whatever spat they had earlier, with Cody in the middle. Heather was saddled beside Alejandro in a lame attempt to fight and flirt at the same time, leaving Noah next to her.

“I can’t believe you threw up everywhere! How lame, Ali-jandro.”

“At least I had the decency to swallow my meal, Heather.”

Noah sighed, “Will you two ever shut up? I saw enough of this behind the scenes, I don’t need to see it up close.”

“Get your big nose out of my business, you fart-sucking snake,” Heather snapped.

“My nose has always been in your business, Heather. It’s a part of my job description.”

“Not anymore! So go away.”

Alejandro sneered at both of them, “Maybe if you were kinder, people would be nicer to you, Heather.”

“Oh! Don’t you even dare—”

There was no point in trying to talk to either of them, both of them too involved in their odd back-and-forth to pay attention. They were good at distracting each other which could be good for Noah when it comes to winning challenges, however, long-term it could lead to him being ignored. Splitting them up sooner rather than later would be a good idea.

Maybe, his future rivalry with Alejandro could distract him from Heather and split his attention. Yet, Heather would still be a threat to his win. Or she could be so infatuated with Alejandro that his attention drawing from her would be game changing… And he definitely needed to play up the whole ‘I know everything because I was Chris’ assistant’ bit to spur some fear into the competition.

God, planning and manipulating was hard. Why did Heather and Alejandro do this for fun?

Chef brought out another course of disgusting food, finally pulling Heather from her conversation, “Now you’re just being racist, Chris.”

“Hey! Not even we know what that’s called. It ain’t right, whatever it is.”

“That is literally slop!” The bowl was full of a mucus-like gel with random octopus tentacles and orifices thrown in.

Duncan began to pray over the meal as Chris sang, “Màn man chī, don’t get the squirts.”

“Màn man chī, we’d rather eat our shirts,” Owen and Duncan sang.

Owen picked the bowl up, for the first time he seemed suspicious, “Uhm, is this safe to eat? I think I have a developing nut allergy.”

Duncan shuddered over the food, unable to bring himself to take a bite.

“Just eat it!” Chris shouted.

Quickly, Owen closed his eyes and tipped the bowl’s contents into his mouth. After a long few seconds of silence and wet chewing, he opened his mouth, “Done!”

Chris opened his mouth excitedly only to be interrupted by another phone call.

“What?” He answered.

Heather stood up in outrage, “How is this fair? That idiot could eat anything as long as it wasn’t poisoned!”

On the phone, Chris ignored her, “Yeah, okay, budget blah blah blah. What am I supposed to do?”

Oh, that wasn’t good.

“Get off the phone and host the goddamn show! This challenge was totally rigged. And this show is totally rigged!” Heather threw her arms up, “Your assistant is a contestant for fucks sake!”

“Get over it!” Noah shouted.

“Listen, we gotta wrap this up. So, here’s the dealio, Owen wins and we can all shut up now! Got it?”

Heather fumed, “No! This is unfair!”

“Someone get her on the plane, I’m so sick of this,” Chris turned his attention back to his phone, “Everyone else get on the plane. Noah, c’mere.”

“See! Favoritism!” Heather screamed as she was dragged back towards the plane by a disgruntled Pauly. Guess that was an alliance down the drain for no reason at all.

The others followed after Heather, Alejandro suspiciously glancing back at him as he made his way to Chris.

“What do you want? Talking to me helps build up the whole threatening thing but it doesn’t make me exactly popular.”

Chris looked up from frowning at his phone to beam at Noah, “Dude, whatever you’re doing is great. Did you see Heather? Hilarious!”

“Hilarious? It just totally ruined my plans.”

“Whatever, this makes for better television,” Chris pecked a few more words out on his phone, “Anyway, I think the whole Courtney thing has been going good from what I’ve seen”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Noah finally gave in to the question he’s been dying to ask, “Is the show okay? You’ve been getting calls from the network all day—”

Chris patted his back, “Hey, don’t even worry about it! It’ll be fine. You’re here to be my paypig now, not my assistant. However, you’re welcome back to the position whenever you like!” He caught himself, “As long as your time is done on the show. I need this scheme to work out.”

“No one even seems that scared, Chris. Heather only hates me because she’s Heather and Courtney is getting eliminated. Duncan, Alejandro, and Owen aren’t exactly scared of the deals I’ve made.”

“Hm, I don’t know,” Chris hummed, “I think Alejandro is scared of the mystery of what you know. Maybe he kinda likes it.”

Noah scoffed, “Okay, Chris. You need to stop reading Colleen Hoover and get a real job.”

“Woah, woah, woah! Verity was a good book, I swear!”

“I do not have time to get into that,” Noah turned to Chef, “Make sure he doesn’t drive this show into the ground. Please.”

Chef grunted in confirmation, mock saluting him.

“Fine, Noah. Run along and get ready for the elimination ceremony. I want Courtney gone!”

Noah waved his hand dismissively, leisurely making his way to the direction the others had headed. Losing Heather so soon after their tentative alliance was disappointing but not surprising, her weirdness this morning was probably a prelude to what would happen later in the day.

You don’t know what I don’t share was just a way to get under his skin, obviously she was insecure about the information he held over her from the way she acted during the challenge. At least Alejandro seemed to still be on his side for the time being.

Noah wasn’t really looking forward to starting a full blown rivalry with the guy, even if his relationship with Heather was infuriating. They hadn’t shared many conversations but the banter was fun and high caliber, plucking the chords of intelligence in his mind that Chris had neglected. However, Noah understood that life changing money overcame any potential friendships.

By the time he reached the plane a line had formed in front of the bathroom. Alejandro, Duncan, Owen, and Heather stood outside, meaning Courtney was currently voting.

“Have fun with Chris?” Heather jeered, “The press says his dick isn’t very impressive.”

“Har har, I’m dying of laughter,” Noah deadpanned, “I assume we’re voting on separate terms?”

“Well, I’m still voting for what’s-her-face but it's because I want to, not because we’re friends.”

Owen chuckled, “Wow, Noah! You bicker just like Alejandro!”

“I do not bicker. I’m more… civilized,” Alejandro objected.

“Says the guy who left Courtney in a pigpen earlier and’s now voting her,” Duncan said.

“You are too, mi amigo.”

“Ugh, enough,” Heather groaned as Courtney stepped out of the bathroom, “Get me away from these idiots so I can vote them out.”

She slammed the door closed behind her, leaving the boys with their soon-to-be ex-fellow contestant.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments before Courtney broke it, “I heard you guys just fine. Those walls aren’t exactly thick.”

Alejandro cringed, “I am… sorry.”

“It’s fine. This show is a disaster anyway, especially when they start letting scummy, cheating, snakes participate,” she glared at Noah and Duncan, followed by Alejandro, “Industry plants always ruin the fun. I’ll be in contact with my lawyers.” Courtney stalked away to economy class.

“Awkward!” Owen said after a few more moments of silence, “By the way, little buddy, I chose you as my first class partner!”

Noah was a little taken aback by the decision, he supposed their earlier interaction meant more to Owen than he had thought, “Uh, thanks, buddy.”

“Awe, how sweet. I’m gonna barf,” Duncan turned to the door, “Hurry up! Other people want to vote!”

Heather excited the stall with an attitude, making her way down the hall to sit in economy class until the elimination ceremony was called. Duncan slid into the bathroom, stamped Courtney’s passport with the door wide open, and slid out again.

“I mean… She already knows,” He shrugged, sauntering off.

Owen entered the bathroom after him, closing the door for privacy. Alejandro lounged against the wall, obviously in no rush to vote.

“What changed your mind about voting for Courtney?” Noah asked.

“We had a… disagreement regarding the challenge.”

“Dude, need I remind you there’s no point in hiding things from me? I know it all.”

“I doubt Chris keeps you informed while you’re on the show,” Alejandro said, “...does he?”

Noah allowed the silence to continue for a moment, “Maybe he does.”

The other boy looked him up and down before calling his bluff, “Sure. And that’s why you’re so curious. You forget I’ve been at this longer than you, Noah.”

“Ah, yes. I forgot how charming and cunning you were! How will I ever compare to Alejandro?” Noah sighed and clutched his heart like a faint maiden.

Alejandro’s lip twitched into a smile, “Don’t play coy, mi novia. You just orchestrated Courtney’s downfall on your second day, I don’t find you helpless.”

“Good. You shouldn’t.”

They were pulled from there by a loud cough from behind them. They both turned to look at Owen, “Sorry, sorry! Just wanted to let you guys know the bathroom is open.”

“Ladies first,” Alejandro said.

“My pleasure.”

Noah shut the door behind him for a second of privacy, looking into the camera. He stamped Courtney’s prop passport and dumped it into the voting box.

Well, now was as good a time as any to play up the villain shtick, “Second day and my second elimination. Guess this gameshow thing isn’t that hard, aye?” He smiled slyly into the lens for a moment before cringing at his own words.

God, he hoped his sisters did not see that.

He swung the door open and allowed Alejandro inside, leaving himself alone in the hall. The intercom crackled to life, booming Chef’s voice over the plane, “Everyone to the elimination room, now.”

Alejandro popped out from behind the door, “Already? I barely finished voting.”

“They’re probably gonna make Jack run them over before the camera crew can even set up.”

“I assume Jack is a crew member. A friend of yours?”

Noah and Alejandro walked beside each other in the hallway, “Sorta. If you can count a twenty-three year-old man who you boss around as a friend.”

He laughed, “It seems as though you’re hard to befriend.”

“Friends are finicky, unsure things. Same as families, really.”

“How pessimistic.”

“Someone has to balance out Chris’ insane positivity. That man couldn’t see reality even if it hit him in the face.”

Alejandro hummed, “Well, I hope you can come to consider us amigos. I mean, we’ve voted together twice now, Noah, doesn’t that insinuate at least an alliance?”

“I guess we can be allies, for now. Friends is a very different status.”

They approached the door that led to the worst part of the plane, the elimination room. Too many unwilling interns and unsuspecting contestants had been thrown out of the hatch to not have cursed the room.

Alejandro opened the door for him, “I guess I’ll just have to try harder, mi amigo.”

Noah smiled, but he was certain this was a trap. Alejandro wanted to alliance with him for some sort of monumental gain, yet the question was what? Noah had performed subpar in the Great Wall challenge and was not exceptionally sociable, so Alejandro had to be after his information.

Just the other day Alejandro had been suspicious of his intentions, but now he was ensuring an alliance between them, hinting at even a friendship. He wanted the dirt that Noah had on the other contestants so that he could start a war over some petty gossip, effectively taking Noah out once he got what he needed.

For now he would play into Alejandro’s hands, if only to make his future betrayal easier.

Noah took a seat next to Owen, since the big guy had excitedly waved him over. Once everyone was seated, Chris began the usual routine of the elimination ceremony, “‘Kay, you all should’ve voted and what not, so let’s look at these passports!”

“Courtney, Courtney, Courtney, Heather, Courtney, Duncan,” Chris took a breath, “And the final vote goes to… Courtney!”

Courtney sat up from her bench in outrage, “I can’t believe this! I refuse to cheat on a challenge and you vote for me, Alejandro? How dare you!”

“What? I would never do that!” Alejandro protested, “Burromuertos never cheat!”

“No, I totally heard him say that,” Cody supplied, “It was right after Chris got that phone call and stuff.”

“Enough!” Chris shouted, “The producer is breathing down my neck and I’m getting a lot of flack on this budget stuff—but don’t even worry—so hurry and take the parachute.”

Courtney screeched as she caught the parachute, “How is getting rid of me going to save money?”

“Stuff around the plane, food budget, I don’t know. I don’t do budget stuff. You’re just really annoying me.”

“Prepare to hear from my lawyers!” Chef ushered her towards the open cargo door, “And Duncan, prepare for a personal defamation lawsuit while I’m at it.”

“Buh-bye,” he waved, grinning.

“Not so fast!” Chef held her by the door, ready to launch her into the open air, “Ezekiel is still hiding in the cargo hold! Duncan still sleeps with his childhood teddy bear at home!”

Chris made an offended face and Duncan gasped, offended. She continued on her rampage, “Heather and Alejandro, just give it up and make out already!”

“Can you get her out of here?” Heather shouted.

“I don’t know. This part’s kinda fun,” Chris smirked.

“Oh, you wanna hear something really fun? Nepotism is illegal! My lawyers will be hearing about this! Noah, watch your back because I won’t stand for—”

Chris ran over from his host stand and pushed Courtney out of the plane.

Everyone blinked in silence for a moment, Cody asking, “Is it really quiet in here all of a sudden or is it just me?”

“I don’t stand for nepotism, okay? It’s like, not cool, bros,” Chris said, shaking his head, “Don’t believe her. Don’t.”

The contestants slowly nodded their heads, with Heather sending Noah a glare. Owen whispered to him, “I don’t know what that means?”

Chris sighed, “Go to bed. We’ll arrive at the next location in the next couple hours.”

They all slipped from the awkwardly tense room to their respective classes. Owen saddled himself in a seat opposite of Noah, reclined back so he could sleep. After a few minutes of quiet conversation about food, particularly the eating challenge earlier, Owen fell asleep.

He tried to skim through one of the many books he brought on the plane but after an hour or so of reading he became bored. He closed his eyes to the dim lights overhead and contemplated.

Owen was a rather solid alliance so far, easily agreeable and willing to go along with Noah’s whims. He had even brought him as his plus one to first class. Heather was on the other end of the alliance spectrum in his mind. She had seemed semi-agreeable this morning before her tantrum during the eating competition. Heather probably had a plan; even her most emotion fueled moments ended in a thoughtful plan.

Cody was an outlier, not someone he had personally talked to or even made many deals with so he had no reason to be afraid of or friendly to him. Duncan was similar, but he was willing to ally with Noah as long as the terms were beneficial to him. During All Stars Duncan had been swayed by a few deals, though his biggest one had been made during this season as a plea bargain to come back on the show. He seemed indifferent to Noah knowing these secrets about him, but if Noah picked at the potential wound he bet Duncan would snap.

Alejandro was in a category of his own. Chris wanted him to become an epic rival when they had just barely hit acquaintanceship with each other. Whatever fictitious betrayal he made at this point would have no effect on Alejandro beyond minor annoyance, plus he seemed to be cooking up a plan of his own by making friends with Noah. Maybe he would just ride the coattails of Alejandro’s plan until he found the right opportunity to strike.

Man, the things he did for money…

He continued to lounge in one of the first class seats, trying to ignore the outrageously loud snores coming from Owen’s side of the cabin. He heard the door slide open and a rather annoyed Chris said, “Noah? Noah?”

“Ugh, I’m up,” he sat up in his seat.

“Great. One of the interns lost Chef’s favorite spatula in the cargo and he refuses to make me pancakes tomorrow without it. Can you find it?”

Noah would bet twenty dollars that it was Pauly, “Why on Earth would I do that?”

“Because I’m your favorite host in the whole wide world?” Chris made puppy-dog eyes. Noah stared at him blankly and he sighed, “I’ll give you a few pancakes if you find it.”

“Okay,” Noah stood from his seat and slid out the door without waking Owen.

Chris walked with Noah to the hatch leading to the cargo hold, “Thanks, Noah! Man, I’m gonna miss having you on the team...”

“If you’re trying to convince me to drop out of college and work for you, it’s not gonna happen.”

“Whatever. You’ll realize what you’re missing out on one day,” He sighed.

The hatch to the cargo was already ajar, Noah pulling it the rest of the way open. Chris gave him a hearty pat on the back before cheerily walking back to his room, most likely to actually get a full night's rest. No wonder the show was low on funds.

He hopped down into the belly of the plane and made his way through the stacks of wooden crates. Ever since Zeke had made his way back onto the ship, the cargo hold had become a taboo place for contestants and crew members alike, but here he was. Chef had used the spatula only last week, so it couldn’t be too far inside.

Noah flipped through a few crates, jumping over mice in the process, before he came across a box full of various cooking supplies. Shuffling through the box revealed little besides rusting tools and an old copy of Chris McLean’s Total Drama Dishes.

The next box was filled with cutlery and as Noah buried his hand inside, he felt something fluffy. He pulled it out, only to find a rat clasped in his hand, “Oh my fucking God!”

The rat hit the wall with a sad thumping sound, followed by skittering.

“¿Qué?” A familiar voice asked from behind him.

Noah whipped around only to come face to face with a half-lidded Alejandro, “What the hell are you doing down here?”

Finally seeming to gain proper consciousness, Alejandro responded, “I was sleeping.”

“Down here? With the rats? And Ezekiel?”

“It is… noisy upstairs.”

Noah grimaced, reminded of Owen;s obnoxious snoring, “There are probably better places, but I won’t judge.” He turned back to rummaging through the boxes, though with a little more caution.

Alejandro watched in interest, “What are you doing?”

“Here or here?”

Behind him there was a moment of silence before Alejandro responded, “What exactly does ‘here’ entail?”

“Like, on the show. Seemed like something you’d be curious about.”

“Then, what are you doing here?”

“Well, Chris managed to convince me that being on a gameshow was more important than college.”

He snorted, “Your family must be pleased with such a decision.”

“I honestly don’t think they even know. My mom probably hasn’t checked her phone in weeks.”

“That’s…” Alejandro struggled for a word, “Unfortunate.”

Noah turned from the box he was elbow deep in to face the other boy, “It’s not that bad. I basically get free will to do whatever I want, even if that is losing my education to participate in stupid challenges.”

Alejandro hums in sympathy and leans on a crate beside him. He looks into the distance for a moment before looking Noah in the eyes. After a long stretch of silence he seems to reach a decision, “My parents… are very different. They barely allowed me to apply to the show.”

“Really? Even with a million dollars on the line?”

“They thought it would be embarrassing to have a son practically begging for money on television. However, when mi hermano José decided to apply, I was allowed too.”

“Oh,” Noah thought back to all the contestants he filed through during Total Drama Dirtbags and remembered the second Burromuerto. He took a seat on one of the crates, “He was a total douchebag. Even Chris thought he was too much.”

This made him laugh, “José complained for hours about how unfair the interviews were since no women were on the casting team.”

“It was only me, Chris, and Chef. There is no ‘casting team,’” Noah replied, feeling a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. He sat on a box against the wall, momentarily giving up on his search.

“Oh! That is why you were so familiar.”

Noah quirked a brow, “Not from the literal hours I worked, like, two feet from you?”

Alejandro waved a hand, “I tend not to take notice of things outside of my focus.”

“How narrow-minded of you, Alejandro,” Despite the mean words, Noah knew he didn’t really mean it. The air in the cargo hold was warm and the slow creaking of the plane was unlike the usually rowdy crowd upstairs. Alejandro took a few steps forward to seat himself on a wooden crate next to Noah, leaning against the haphazardly constructed wall of the plane.

“Hm… People tend to call me open-minded due to my intelligence.”

Noah could not stop himself from laughing, staring into Alejandro’s tired, toxic green eyes, “Sorry to tell you, but they’re definitely lying. All you’ve got up there is a gym routine.”

“And a hair routine, I know,” Noah was a little taken aback, he expected Alejandro to have more of a retort, “I must be stupid if I was unaware of someone as humorous and good-looking as you.”

Noah flushed. This wasn’t similar to the flirting that Alejandro used during the Niagara Falls challenge where he was obviously boasting to make Heather jealous, instead they were alone inside the cargo hold. Alejandro was much too close for his liking, eyes half-lidded from sleep and heat radiating from his body.

Despite the intimacy, Noah knew it had to be a strategic tactic, so he spluttered for a change in topic, “My sister applied for the show too.”

He seemed to snap back at the sudden change in atmosphere, eyes finally fluttering to full awareness, “Oh! As a contestant?”

“No, she wanted to work as a cameraman. Matthew, the lead camera operator, used to be an amazing cinematographer in the nineties, so she wanted to apprentice under him. She’s the reason I applied in the first place.”

“You two wanted to work as crew members together? How sweet.”

Noah laughed, “She wasn’t accepted and I actually applied as a contestant before I became an intern. Thank God Chris rejected me or I would’ve made a fool out of myself on live television.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing now?” Alejandro jokes.

“I guess,” Noah watched a rat scurry across a pipe before turning his attention back to Alejandro, somber, “I don’t think either of our parents are really going to like us being on this show.”

“I— What makes you think that?” Alejandro seemed offended at the idea of his parent’s not being proud.

“My mom is going to claw my eyes out for losing the only stable paycheck in our entire household and I can’t imagine your parents are going to love the whole villain shtick you have if they were so worried about you embarrassing yourself.”

He scowled, “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I do though. I’ve seen, like, all of your confessionals. You hate the name Al, you hate José, and you hate your parents.”

“I don’t hate my parents,” Alejandro said defensively.

“C’mon, man. Everything is getting aired on TV and I already know every dirty secret you have. You can be honest for once,” Noah shrugged. He really meant it too. Anything revealed to him past eleven o’clock at night was between him and God, not even if that information was perfect blackmail; a pact that his sisters made him adhere to since the age of seven.

Alejandro struggled with his words for a moment, not fully believing Noah, “Well… I— This is difficult.”

Noah hummed, “I grew up with sisters. I’m basically a certified F.B.I. agent from the amount of secrets they made me keep.”

“That’s interesting. How many sisters do you have?”

He ignored the blatant changing of subject to loosen Alejandro’s tongue, “Eight. My parents were planning to stop there, but I was a surprise ninth. My youngest sister is still, like, six years older than me.”

“Ah, I understand how you feel. José is four years older and Carlos, my oldest brother, is seven.”

“It makes sense that you’re the youngest,” Noah laughed, “They always tend to be the most selfish.”

“What does that say about you, then?”

Noah leaned against the wall behind him, keeping eye contact with Alejandro, “That we’re pretty similar.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before Alejandro broke, “My papá said that if I don’t win the money he’ll take away my college fund.”

Alejandro looked at him, seeking reassurance that he wasn’t going to be humiliated. Noah raised a brow to encourage him to continue.

“The savings my parents have for José isn’t enough to cover his tuition — since he blew it all on a sports car — so he applied to the show. My parents refuse to have their son resort to student loans, as it’s an embarrassment, but José was rejected. So, if I don’t win the million they’ll use my fund instead,” Noah watched him wring his hands anxiously, “Without the fund I won’t be able to pay for college, since my parents won’t pay out of pocket and they’ll take away my fund of I major in something they don’t agree with. I need to win this thing.”

The desperation in Alejandro’s voice tugged at Noah’s gut. Money was always something his family struggled with, especially when they had to put several children through college. Despite the difference in situation, Noah could understand the struggle to pay for tuition.

“What do you wanna study?”

“Social work.”

“And what do you tell your dad?” Noah asked with a slight smile.

“Law, specifically immigration,” Alejandro smiles back, “I never asked, what are you studying?”

“Engineering.”

“Oh my, cerebrito! You are much too smart to have been working for Chris.”

“I’ve thought that ever since I was hired.”

They shared a smile before falling into silence once again. The air was thick around them, the atmosphere subdued and tired.

“Thank you.”

Noah jumped a bit at the sudden noise, “Oh, it’s fine. You don’t have to—”

“No, no, I insist.”

“Okay.”

Once the silence had stretched beyond being peaceful and into slightly awkward, Noah stood, “As nice as it’s been to talk about something besides eliminations and voting, I should probably get back to what I was doing.”

“What were you doing, mi amigo?”

Noah popped another crate open, “Looking for Chef’s stupid spatula.”

“Oh,” He scrunched his face in distaste, “Chris still has you running chores?”

“Not without compensation. I don’t just follow his every whim for free.”

“He still pays you?”

“Either in money or pancakes, yeah.”

Alejandro frowned, “I don’t believe that contestants can get paid, can they?”

“Well,” Noah thought back to all the deals he has made throughout the show, “In special instances they can.”

“And Chris considers you a special instance.”

“I mean, this whole thing is a special instance.”

“You are… getting paid to participate?”

He shrugged, “Chris had to bribe me somehow.”

Alejandro became quiet behind him as he shuffled through another crate. Honestly, Noah felt as though his relationship with Alejandro was going pretty well and he wasn’t looking forward to whatever betrayal he had to pull later. If he really wanted, he might be able to get Alejandro in on the whole thing so that their tentative friendship could grow. As long as Alejandro didn’t decide to pull any stunts, Noah could see them as almost-friends.

He popped open another wooden crate once he had finished the previous one. Inside was Chef’s favorite spatula, “Oh, finally.”

The spatula was old, slightly rotten, and probably not safe to prepare food with, but damn did it make some good pancakes. Behind him, Alejandro was still silent, “I found it, so I’m gonna go back up.”

The other boy was quiet, “Okay.”

“You have fun down here snuggling with the rats, or whatever crazy people do nowadays,” Noah inched his way up the ladder, turning to see a sullen Alejandro. He considered leaving him be, but after their brief heart-to-heart it only felt right to be a little nice for once, “Don’t, like, get in your head about this stuff. Worse comes to worse you lose the show and get a brand deal.”

His words seemed ineffective, “Just— I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“…‘Night.” Noah left the cargo hold with Chef’s spatula in hand, feeling oddly guilty.

Chapter Text

For some unfathomable reason, the next morning he wasn’t immediately provided with pancakes. Instead, Chris shook him awake with a worried expression, eyebrows drawn together. The worry was sort of ruined by his complete lack of wrinkles, probably from all the botox.

Chris held a phone up, “Call.”

Noah raised an eyebrow and Chris continued, “From your mom.”

That had Noah instantly rising from his seat and taking the phone from his hand, “Can I take it in your cabin?”

Chris nodded without hesitation, so Noah knew this was bad. He slipped into Chris’ room, ignoring the gleaming gold hot tub, and sat himself in an office chair next to the desk.

His mom only called when something serious happened. Last time she had called was two months ago, which also happened to be the last time he spoke to her, to arrange funding for the house and plan a funeral for a distant cousin. She never chatted or called for updates on casual life, only contacting him when completely necessary.

Noah understood why, but it didn’t hurt any less. His mom was busy with two jobs, nine kids, multiple grandkids, and living life as an almost-widow.

He managed to take a deep breath before holding the phone to his ear, “Mama?”

“Noah Aadiv Mudaliar. Tell me why your sister called me today to tell me that you were competing in some silly game show.”

Noah groaned, “Was it Priya? It’s always Priya.”

“Who it was doesn’t matter. I want to know why you quit your job to do this! We need that income— Your dad needs that income.”

How typical, she only cared when he was losing money. Everything always had to be about money or jobs or dad. Noah felt a sickening heat churn in his gut, “I know. I’m getting paid to be on the show, Ma.”

“But the healthcare benefits! You know my school’s insurance isn’t great, the healthcare you got covered a majority of the hospital bills.”

He winced, “My insurance will hold for another few months. We’ll find a solution.”

“You were supposed to be the solution, Noah.”

His mother had struggled for years to find a reliable source of income to pay off the hospital bills and debts. When Chris had actually hired him, his mom had rejoiced at the incredible healthcare benefits that were offered, taking full advantage of them. Noah had noticed a steady increase in specifically his benefits over the years, thanks to Chris, “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I can’t believe you’ve done this, Noah. Your sisters are chipping in to the best of their abilities!” She was not yelling, she never really did, but she was close, “Despite what you may think, you have to help too.”

Noah felt his blood boil, “I need to help? Dad’s been surviving off my healthcare for the past year! What have Jaylani or Savannah or— any of them done?”

“Don’t you ever dare raise your voice at me again,” she said sternly, “You have a responsibility as the man of the house, so accept it.”

Noah hated the idea of being the man of the house, since his mom seemed to think that meant he had to provide for everyone without anything in return. He had never wanted to take care of his dad. His dad was supposed to be taking care of him.

Despite his hatred for the very concept, he had no choice but to take on the role, “I am accepting it. I’m getting almost half a million dollars to be on the show. Most of it’ll end up going to dad’s care.”

“Oh,” She took a deep breath, “I love you, Noah, but these decisions are so rash. You didn’t even call your mother before deciding to quit your job? I’m upset.”

“I know,” She was only calm now because of his mention of ensured money. He took a moment and tried to forget the roaring frustration in his gut, “Look, I was going to college either way. My job had to end eventually, so I might as well get a bonus out of it, right? You always said to take opportunities.”

His mom laughed over the phone, sated, “Yeah, I guess I did.”

“Everything should wrap up in a few weeks, probably less, then I’ll come home before second semester starts,” Some of the tenison slipped from him, “Okay?”

“Sounds good. I’ll call you soon,” She said, most definitely lying, “Me and Papa love you.”

“I love you too. Bye.”

“Buh-bye,” His mom ended the call with a click.

He leaned back in the office chair and tried to release the anger in his gut. God, talking to his mom was always miserable. When he was young, around six or seven, he would always look forward to seeing her after a school day, but ever since he got a job at fourteen talking to her always involved some sort of financial discussion. Noah loved her, he really did, but liking her had been hard.

A new wave of frustration washed over him when he thought back to his sisters. Despite there being eight of them, all of them above the age of twenty-three, not a single penny had been spared to help their parents. Whenever he spoke to them about it he was regarded with false sympathy and claims that their current families had to be supported first and that any spare cash would be sent to help. Said money was never sent, at least to his knowledge.

He picked up Chris’ phone and dialed another number. The phone rang for less than a minute before she picked up, “Hello? Who is this?”

“Priya.”

“Noah,” She sighed, “What is it now?”

“Why’d you tell Ma I quit my job to compete on Total Drama? You don’t even know anything.”

“I called her because I wanted her opinion, only to find out you hadn’t even told her. She has a right to know, Noah.”

Priya had always been the sister he fought with the most. Being nine years older than him, they never had much in common besides their parents. She was the most responsible one in the house when he was born, so she became one of his main caregivers. She was always inclined towards picking on him because he was the youngest and therefore most annoying, a habit their mom did not correct. The teasing only got worse once she dropped out of college to marry some hot-shot lawyer twice her age.

Again, he seethed, “It should be me telling her, not you. What right do you have after you abandoned us for Adam?”

“God,” She laughed, “You’re always on this savior bullshit! The rest of us moved on, we aren’t obligated to send fucking thousands of dollars to mom just so dad can keep breathing through a tube.”

“You’ve moved on from Dad but not from tattling on me to mom? You’re fucking ridiculous,” Noah heard footsteps coming towards the door, most likely Chris’, and knew he had to finish the call soon. Noah had always been seen as a burden by Priya since she primarily took care of him as a kid, yet this level of resentment was unusual, “Don’t expect me to take care of you on your deathbed.”

She snarled, “Like I’d want you there anyways. I have a family to take care of me now.”

Chris pushed the door open with an eyebrow raised offering a plate of pancakes in one of his hands. Noah held a finger up to stop him, “I don’t have time for this. Stop telling mom about my private life.”

“You called me! And is it really private if it’s on TV—” Noah clicked the button to end the call, finally addressing Chris.

“I brought Chef’s famous—or infamous—pancakes,” He handed Noah the plate, “Hope everything’s alright?”

Chris was well aware of Noah’s situation since he was the one providing his healthcare and pay. He had always been unusually kind and considerate about it, “Yeah, it’ll be fine.”

“Great!” He said, a fake smile across his face, “Well, whenever you scarf those down join the rest of the contestants in economy class. We’re gonna be landing soon and I know you need your time to perform evil duties.”

“Thanks, Chris,” Noah genuinely smiled. Chris gave him a hearty pat on the back before leaving once again.

He decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and ate the pancakes as quickly as possible. Chef may not have been the greatest general cook, but his breakfast food was unmatched. Once he was off to college he would miss getting the rare opportunity to eat delicious handmade pancakes, though the other foods would be forgotten quickly.

Now he had to start planning for the day. So far he only had a tentative alliance with Alejandro and Duncan, considering that Heather had that blow-up the other day. Owen had voted with him last time and seemed to actually like him, so an alliance was open to consideration there. The only contestant he did not have a relationship with was Cody and he really was not concerned about that. Without Sierra to carry him he would be gone soon, so he might as well leave him distant for an easy elimination vote.

Leaving his plate on Chris’ desk as a form of revenge for waking him up, Noah made his way to the other contestants. He was not in the mood to talk to them but the promise of money was calling his name, so he forced himself into the second class cabin.

Heather and Alejandro sat on the same bench as Duncan, who was etching horrific images into the seat happily. Cody was passed out on the opposite bench, using Owen’s leg as a pillow. Owen gave him a happy wave when he came in before pointing to the other bench and making a worried face. The others must be fighting then.

“I mean, the rest of us can leave to the common area so you two lovebirds can start building your nest together,” Duncan snickered.

Heather and Alejandro exclaimed at the same time, “Yeah right! As if.”

“Stop it!” They shouted again in unison.

“Courtney was so right! You two are so lame for each other!” Duncan laughed. He noticed Noah by the entrance and included him in the conversation, “Yo, be honest, is there footage of them kissing yet?”

Noah smirked, “That’s for me to know.”

“That totally means yes.”

Heather scowled, “You’re a lying little freak.”

Playing the villain was entertaining, a helpful distraction from everything else. Alejandro raised an eyebrow at Noah’s misdirection, obviously questioning why he was lying. Honestly, he had no plan other than to annoy Heather and bring up the audience engagement. Chris was going to love the way the audience reacted to his purposeful vagueness.

As Alejandro, Duncan, and Heather returned to arguing over their supposed romance, Owen called him over excitedly.

“Hey, buddy! I didn’t see you this morning so I was totally worried. You good?”

Noah was almost touched by his consideration, if he ignored the fact that the guy was actively shoving snacks into his mouth while saying he was worried, “I’m fine, just had some business to take care of.”

“Oh, with Chris? What’s he making you help with?” He suddenly became frightened and shifted further away, accidentally sticking a piece of candy in Cody’s hair, “Is he giving you more dirt on us?”

“No, no,” Noah reassured him, “He can’t do that when I’m on the show or whatever. I have to help him with budgeting.”

Owen laughed, “I was scared for a sec! But, I mean, I guess you already know everything so I don’t gotta worry.”

“Yeah, I guess,” The other boy was weirdly bipolar in his emotions towards Noah’s former status as Chris’ personal assistant. He seemed to trust him one moment before becoming fearful again, “I was actually wondering if you wanted to—”

Owen suddenly dropped his voice into a loud whisper, covering Cody’s ears, “Hey, do you think the others would be mad at me if I told them about all the deals and stuff? I’ve felt soooo guilty about it ever since All Stars…”

Noah took a moment to process. This is why he had been so on and off about Noah knowing. He was nervous to tell people about the bribes, bribes he probably thought were exclusive, due to their potential reactions. If he really was the only person to receive bribes on the show, Heather would rip his face off, so he could understand where the fear was coming from.

However, if Owen revealed his deals the weariness that came from the other cast members would dissipate some because they would realize that others had undergone similar deals. The whole point of him being on the show was to create tension. The contestants not knowing that deals were commonplace made them worry that Noah would reveal them as cheaters.

Owen talking about the deals would ruin his whole half-constructed gameplan, “No. Don’t tell them. Think about how pissed Heather would be. She’s been fighting for the million for the past year only to find out you won the million and got exclusive deals? No way.”

Okay, maybe he went overboard.

The boy began to sweat and smiled nervously, “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. Whew! Thanks, Noah, that could’ve gone really badly.”

He felt a little bad. The guy was really in no danger and instead of being nice, Noah had made him a nervous wreck. Everyone in this cabin, excluding Alejandro, had made a deal with him at some point. Heather had been paid to play up the evil act, though Noah doubted even half of it was for show, Duncan was bribed to date Courtney again and again, and Cody was compensated for each of his pervy jokes.

Owen continued to sweat and nervously glance around, looking for anyone that overheard. He jumped as the speaker overhead buzzed as Chef began his announcement, “Landing soon. Buckle up.”

The blond seemed to grow sicker, clutching the handles above the seat with a vengeance. The descent was rapid and harsh, landing them in the middle of a grassland in what appeared to be the safari. They were rushed outside and lined up underneath the blazing sun, Noah could already feel the sweat seeping through his skin.

Chris excited the plane in a long flowing garb, multi-colored necklaces, and a horrific bald cap. Duncan pointed and burst out laughing, causing the others to follow.

“Nice dress!” he shouted.

“It’s traditional Masai warrior garb and it came with this!” Chris held up a sharp spear, hurtling it towards Duncan.

He barely dodged the projectile, “Watch it!”

“Trust me, that’s the least dangerous thing that’ll happen to you today,” Noah was starting to regret ever agreeing to participate on this show. Even with the clause in his contract promising certain safety, he worried for his health. Chris continued, “Welcome to beautiful Tanzania, home of the Serengeti plains and over seventy different kinds of animals that can kill you.”

Owen let out a yelp of fear, “Are there tigers?”

“No, but there’re plenty of lions!”

He cowered in fear once more, “I fucking hate this show.”

“Language. We can’t air that. Okay, challenge time!”

Chris led them to an area obviously set up for a ridiculous challenge. Tiki statues surrounded a crate filled to the brim with purple fruits, a mass of soccer balls a few feet from it. Another few yards away were gourds lined up on stools. The challenge requirements must have gone down since he left.

“Part one combines two of Africa’s most popular sports: soccer and cricket!” Chris held up a ball and paddle in turn, “I call it Sock-it-to-me, the me being you, of course.”

“Boo,” Noah said.

Ignoring him, Chris continued, “Each player must run one at a time from the starting line to that pile of African safou plums, grab as many as you can carry, and run back. And you’ll be doing all of this while your fellow competitors pummel you with soccer balls.”

“Oo, pummeled by a soccer ball, how painful,” Duncan mocked. Chris threw a ball at him, nailing him directly in the face and knocking him to the floor.

“You were saying?” He asked smugly, “Next, take the plums you’ve brought and whack ‘em with the cricket bat to smash those gourds open. Whoever cracks their gourd open first wins a reward that will be muy helpful in the next challenge.”

He clapped his hands together, “Now, positions, people! Owen, you’re up first. Kickers, get ready.”

Owen took his position at the starting line, settling into a poor imitation of a runner’s start. Chris called for the beginning of the challenge with a blow of his whistle and Owen began to sprint towards the fruit.

Duncan and Heather kicked the balls at him, most of them glancing off his back, “Is that all you’ve got?” He scooped a large pile of fruit into his arms and began the run back.

Noah lamely kicked another ball in the large boy’s direction, missing entirely. Beside him, Alejandro readied himself to kick his first ball. With an easy kick the ball hurtled itself directly into Owen’s arms, knocking the fruits to the floor and causing Owen to fall face first into the ground.

“Nice shot,” Noah cheered. Even if he felt mean about what he said earlier, he was still here to win the challenge.

Alejandro smirked at him, “It’s not exactly hard to hit such a large target.”

Chris laughed, “Awesome! Duncan, top that.”

Duncan began at the starting line, signaled to begin by Chris’ obnoxious whistle. This time, he managed to avoid quite a few of the balls, even launching one directly into Heather’s face. Owen had seemed to have forgotten the soccer element entirely as he was busy nibbling on a plum. By the time Duncan was returning with an armful of plums, Heather had barely recovered and Alejandro seemed to be preparing for another strike.

“I told you soccer’s a wimpy sport,” Duncan jeered, “I—” Three balls smashed into his head.

Heather, Alejandro, and Noah cheered, “Yes!”

Heather made eye contact with both of the boys in turn, groaning.

“Heather, your go!” Chris blew his whistle again.

She took off from the starting line, much faster than Duncan. Noah and Alejandro took a shot at the same time again, both missing. Noah’s ball bounced harmlessly by Duncan while Alejandro’s continued off into the grass.

“Ha! I knew he wouldn’t kick a ball at his crush.”

Behind Heather, the ball appeared to completely turn around to follow her, launching at her full force. The ball hit her in the back of the head, catapulting her to the floor.

Noah turned and raised a dramatic eyebrow at Alejandro and Chris cried in glee, “Woah! Harsh, dude! But hilarious.”

“My brother Carlos is a professional soccer player,” Alejandro shrugged, responding to Noah’s raised brow.

“Huh, didn’t know that.”

He smirked, “You can’t know everything, I guess.”

Heather resumed her run, scooping up plums and making it back to the starting line without another tragic accident. Chris blew his whistle, “Noah, you’re up!”

If he could barely kick a ball, Noah doubted that he would be able to dodge multiple soccer balls coming at him. He had no hope to outrun them—the mile was never his favorite part of P.E., or any part for that matter—and he hoped that they would pity him enough to go easy on him.

Heather looked ready to kill, Duncan was obviously vengeful from the balls to the face, and Alejandro had a mean little smile on his face. He was screwed. At least Owen was still shoving his face full of plums.

Chris blew the whistle again in impatience and Noah ran as fast as he could towards the box of plums. Heather missed her first ball but Duncan managed to scrape his shoulder, encouraging him to run a bit faster. By the time he had scooped a mass amount of plums into his arms and run back, Alejandro had yet to make his shot.

Just as he made his way back towards the finish line, Duncan nailed him in the side with a ball. In his moment of weakness, Alejandro kicked a ball that smashed into his face, effectively knocking him over. Naoh kept the plums clutched in his arms on the ground, groaning.

“Get up, man!” Chris called, “I have a show to run!”

Noah stood and resumed his run. The distance was short but he really was not made to do this kind of activity. Jumping through hoops to escape sharks so that Chris could test a challenge? No problem. Running for longer than a minute? Big problem.

He had finally stepped over the finish line when Heather shot a ball to hit him sharply in the back, knocking him to his face. The plums squished grossly beneath him.

“And then there was one! Bring it on, Alejandro,” Chris blew his whistle again.

Noah shuffled back to the soccer balls, leaving his pile of plums elsewhere. Alejandro sprinted across at least half of the path before Noah, Duncan, or Heather could kick a ball at him. When Duncan and Heather finally sent a few flying in his direction, Noah counting himself while he was ahead, Alejandro easily kicked them back. One ball hit Duncan right in the nuts, causing him to double over in pain, and Heather received a ball painfully into her face.

With both of them incapacitated, Alejandro easily grabbed his plums and returned to the finish line.

“Impressive,” Noah said.

Alejandro looked disgruntled, “Might’ve been more challenging if you participated, mi amigo.”

“Sports were never my strong suit. Not all of us can be smart and athletic.”

“That sounds like a compliment.”

Noah rolled his eyes, “It’s called sarcasm.”

“Okay, everyone, let’s go to the next part of the—” one of the sound crew members ran up to Chris and whispered furiously in his ear, “What?” he looked around, groaning, “Where the fuck is Cody?”

Owen gasped, “Oh no! I left him in economy!”

“Someone go get him before I start feeding people to lions.”

All three of the remaining interns popped up, sprinting towards the plane. If there was one thing Noah did not miss, it was having his life threatened, even jokingly. After only a few moments Natalia was dragging a groggy Cody through the dirt, dropping him in the line of players.

“I’m so sorry!” Owen cried, “You we're just so peaceful and I was so focused on stuff! Don’t kill me!”

Cody shook himself off and stood, “It’s not a big deal. What’s happening?”

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose, “Hitting plums at gourds, Sock-it-to-me, whatever. It’s not as funny the second time around.”

“Was it funny the first time?” Noah jeered. Duncan laughed while Alejandro snickered privately.

His eye twitched before he returned himself to host mode, immediately jumping back into the show, “Now that we have all our contestants, and I don’t want to have to collect more soccer balls, you’re gonna have to break some gourds. Remember, first person to smash through gets the advantage,” With little warning he shouted, “And, go!”

They all began to smash their plums towards the gourds, missing the targets. Cody stood holding his bat without any plums, looking noticeably stressed.

Duncan hit his gourd, only a crack appearing in the fruit, “Hey! I’m used to smashing things with the bat. No middle man.”

Heather struck her target too, making a considerably larger crack than Duncan. She readied her next hit as Chris walked over, “Unlike the D-Man, Alejandro’s girlfriend is a batting fiend!”

In shock, the plum flew from her hand and struck Alejandro in the head. The plum bounced off his head and hit Noah in the gut.

“Oh, yeah. They’re meant for each other,” Chris laughed, “And I guess Noah is a surprise third.”

Noah felt his eye twitch in annoyance. He had purposefully written the Heather-seduction clause out of his contract, but Chris just loved to push unhelpful ideas.

“Shut up, Chris,” They all groaned in unison.

“Okay, this is ridiculous,” Alejandro said, pointing at both of them.

Impatient, Heather hit her plum hurriedly, breaking her gourd.

“And the winner of our first challenge is… Heather!”

“Yes!” She swung her bat around, “Batter, batter, swing, batter!”

Noah slapped his hand to his mouth to stifle his burst of laughter as Chris led her to the side. If she was saying things like that, Heather was definitely losing her mind on this show.

“The rest of you have ten seconds left to crack your gourd. And trust me, you want what’s inside.”

Alejandro sent a plum flying towards the pumpkin assigned to him, breaking it in one hit, just as Duncan threw his bat at his own gourd, smashing it. Owen had eaten most of his plums, so he followed in Duncan’s footsteps and chucked his paddle at the fruit, finally managing to break it.

Noah attempted to hit his plum at the gourd but it fell a few feet short, seriously lacking any power that was needed to break it anyway. Cody shuffled next to him awkwardly, seemingly considering the merits of throwing his paddle.

“Cody, you can use my plums!” Heather shouted.

Cody perked up, stealing a few plums and launching a few plums at the gourd. They slightly cracked, but not much damage was done. In desperation, Noah chucked his paddle at the fruit, yet the bat landed only a few feet in front of him.

Chris sighed, “No success for Cody or Noah will make it much harder for them to deal with this!”

He pointed at a large wooden crate that Jack and Pauly were guarding. The box shook aggressively, loud groaning and roaring coming from within.

“Should we be running right now?” Duncan asked.

“Yes,” Chris said much too proudly, “You should be scared. Part two of our challenge is a genuine African safari, and the prey? Why only the most dangerous and chauvinistic animal of all…”

Pauly popped the crate open with a crowbar, obviously hesitant. Chris proudly displayed the grotesque green figure inside, “Ezekiel!”

Everyone flinched, excluding Noah. At the beginning of the season Chris had agreed to allow Ezekiel back on only if he played as a mysterious monster around the plane. He’s been kicked off a few times but it doesn’t shock Noah that Chris would renew his contract. The man loves to use people to his convenience.

Heather shouted, “But you shoved his dirty butt out of the plane in London?”

“I know! He’s like a one man cockroach infestation. But when a certain brunette, who’s name rhymes with Courtney, ratted Zeke out, Chef went a-hunting and found the scrawny lunatic down in the hold.”

Alejandro visibly shuddered, considering they had been in there just the other night. Noah bumped shoulders with him, “Good thing he doesn’t eat people yet.”

“I should warn you though, he’s totally feral thanks to all that time with the animals.”

Alejandro glared at Noah. Noah held up his hand placatingly and shrugged. Chris continued, “Whoever nabs the beast formerly known as Ezekiel wins invincibility and first-class seats to our next destination.”

“With the player of their choice, blah blah blah— Where’s my reward?” Heather asked.

“Just a seconddddd,” Chris groaned, “Go to your gourds and check inside, they contain what you’ll use to hunt with.”

Everyone scattered to their own gourd, digging around inside. Noah remained where he was next to a shuffling Cody.

“Oh, yes!” Duncan hollered, holding up a wooden slingshot, “Do you know how many windows I’ve broken with one of these?”

Heather pulled out a hideous leather pouch and belt, “What’s the pocket for? Magic beans?”

“Close,” Chris said and pulled out a small pink ball from the pumpkin, “Tranquilizer balls! Sling them with enough velocity and they burst on contact, numbing the area and releasing a hearty dose of sleepy-time goodness.”

Chris picked up a slingshot and a ball, aiming the weapon at Pauly, “Watch as this intern demonstrates.”

The ball flew from the slingshot and hit Pauly square in the chest, causing him to instantly collapse to the floor with his eyes wide open. Ezekiel reached his hand out of the cage to grasp his hair, pulling him closer and gnawing at the bars.

“See! It’s like paintball, only with naps!” Chris said cheerily, “Now, stand back people, we’re gonna give the violent psycho a head start. Release the beast!”

Natalia, quivering, unlocked the cage containing the fake feral Ezekiel. The door sprung open, allowing him to escape into the savannah, gurgling and growling the whole way.

Clutching a handful of pink balls, Chris went to each contestant, “Okay, since Heather won the first challenge, she gets six tranq balls. Alejandro, you cracked yours open, so you get three. Duncan and Owen, two.”

“Hey! I should get three. I cracked my gourd too,” Duncan objected.

Owen frowned, “Me too.”

“Technically, you both beat your gourd with a cricket bat,” He turned, “Noah and Cody, since neither of you put a dent in your gourd, you get some goggles and a ball each.”

“No slingshot?” Noah asked.

“Nope. You’re just gonna have to throw the balls hard enough to make ‘em burst, which will be hilariously unsuccessful, I’m sure.”

Noah drawled, “Just as hilarious as your attempts to budget are, I’m sure.”

“Watch it, smart mouth, I can take that ball back,” He glared, “And… Go!”

Chef blew on a giant goat horn that he probably stole from a renaissance faire, sending the players running. Noah was held back by Chris’ hand on his shoulder.

“Get Cody off today.”

Noah raised his eyebrow, “Too boring for you?”

“We literally forgot him on the plane before the challenge. Just do it.”

“‘Kay, but there has to be a bonus…” He smirked, but really he was a bit skeptical. It would not be too hard to convince Alejandro or Owen to vote out Cody, but Heather had an alliance with him and Duncan loved to be purposefully difficult. He doubted Heather, Duncan, and Cody would organize an attack against him but the possibility was never zero.

Chris sighed, “Same rate as Courtney. I can’t spare more because of the whole budget thing or whatever.”

That was surprisingly easy, considering Chris’ stinginess. Noah frowned, “I can help if you need me to. Chef isn’t exactly the best financial assistant.”

Chef grunted in both affirmation and disagreement behind him. Chris shook his head, “You have enough to deal with. Go get ‘em, tiger.”

With a slap to the back that made him stumble, Noah took off to where Alejandro, Heather, and Duncan had gone. In the middle of the middle of a grassy clearing, Duncan seemed to be trying to convince them of something. Heather had her back to him as he approached and Alejandro was busy questioning Duncan, so nobody noticed his approach.

He was having a bad day. He performed shitly during the challenge, his mom was pissed, and sister was a piece of shit. So, when Heather had her back turned, Noah snagged a few tranquilizer balls out of her pouch. All was fair in love and war.

“Yes,” Alejandro exclaimed, pulling them all into a huddle, “we’ll hunt as a pack! Including you, Noah.”

Heather turned her head towards him in offense, “Forget it. You’ll just get in my way. I’m going alone.”

She stormed off into the grasslands and Alejandro called after her, “Then I salute your bravery and bid you good hunting.”

“And I bid you good losing,” She scowled, disappearing into the tall grass.

Duncan sighed, “How far do you think she’ll get?”

“Not far without these,” Alejandro held up two of her tranquilizer balls, “I stole them in the huddle. Though, I didn’t manage to get the others. Noah grabbed them first.”

He shot an amused glance at Noah, probably trying to glean his reaction. Noah shrugged and showed off the four balls in his palm, “Didn’t know you saw me, thought you were too busy making goo goo eyes at Heather.”

“Are you sure you guys haven’t been to jail?” Duncan asked, smiling connivingly.

“Very sure,” Noah said, “My virginity is still intact.”

“Aye, juvie doesn’t do that shit man,” He thought for a moment, “No wait, it totally does.”

Alejandro interjected, “Let’s not get vulgar. We have to hunt Ezekiel.”

“Ugh,” Noah cringed, “More physical activity.” They began to walk through the tall grass towards a shaded area in the trees

“Chris had you running errands for him but this is too much for you?” Duncan said, “Nevermind, you definitely didn’t go to jail.”

“Usually those exercises are fueled by the fear for my life and money.”

“Real rough. How much were you paid?”

Alejandro tensed, his previous good mood lost, “Must we talk about this? Mi amigos, we should focus on the challenge.”

“No need to be so uptight. I’ve got this in the bag.”

“Need I remind you I don’t even have a slingshot?” Noah rolled his eyes.

Duncan smirked, “You were gonna be no help anyways. It’s better if you let the big boys handle this.”

He looked the other up and down judgmentally, “‘Big boy’, yeah, Is that what your mom calls you?”

“Your mom likes to call me other things.”

Noah shuddered, “Moving on. I think Cody’s gotta go tonight.”

“Really?” Alejandro’s interest finally peaked, “Why’s that?”

“Yeah,” Duncan frowned, “Why?”

Okay, this was going to be a little harder than previously thought. Apparently Cody’s awkward charm had wiggled its way into the other contestants’ hearts. Plus, Noah had yet to even think of a good reason to vote him out, “Well, he’s a horrific contestant. He didn’t even show up for the first half of the challenge.”

“Those are the qualities of good competition,” Alejandro said, “If anything we should take out the more ferocious competition.”

“Like Heather,” Duncan suggested.

Alejandro spluttered, “Well, I don't know about that… She is still valuable until the next challenge…”

“Nope, you don’t get an opinion. You’re biased as her weird admirer,” Duncan turned to address them both, “You guys owe me a vote from the last elimination.”

“What?” Noah was affronted, “We literally voted Courtney off. That’s what you wanted.”

Duncan sneered, “Hey, man. You chose to vote Courtney off last time. I still get your vote whenever I want it. And I want it now.”

“Not happening.”

“That’s low, Duncan,” Alejandro glared at him, “I refuse.”

“So you're voting with goody two shoes over here?”

“No. I’m sure we can all come to a compromise, since we are amigos! How about Owen? That oaf could use a good shove off the plane.”

Owen was nice and appeared to actually like Noah, plus he had accidentally traumatized the guy earlier. He frowned, “No way.”

Alejandro gawked, “You like that doofus?”

“Enough with the squabbling, ladies,” Duncan said, “You both owe me a vote because of the, ya know, alliance that we agreed to.”

This whole situation was going really bad. He had to convince at least one of them to vote for Cody or else this whole plan would go to shit. If anything, he should rely on Alejandro because of his reluctance to vote for Heather. However, to talk to him privately, he would have to get Duncan away.

“Look at you making demands. How bold,” Noah leaned into the villain persona for the cameras and to hopefully piss off Duncan, “I decide what happens around here, if you don’t like it you can jump off the plane again. This time, we’ll leave you to the lions.”

“Right!” He said sarcastically, “I forgot you were Chris’ little dickrider so you get to call the shots. This is reality TV, the producers can’t control what I do.”

Noah raised an eyebrow, reminded of the delinquent’s frequent deals, and Duncan scowled deeper, “Sure. Do you wanna fact check that?”

“Whatever. I’m not fucking voting with you and I’m not hunting with you either. Consider this alliance trashed.”

He stormed in the opposite direction they were headed, back into the open savannah. Alejandro swayed, seemingly choosing who to follow, and he looked dangerously close to choosing Duncan.

Noah grabbed him by the shoulder, “Alejandro, are you going to vote with me?”

He scowled, “No. Duncan is right. You’re Chris’s lapdog and I can’t—”

A sudden rustling sounded in the trees and both boys whipped around. Alejandro readied his slingshot with a ball as Noah pinched one of the tranquilizers in between his fingers, ready to throw with all of his might.

The bush directly in front of them rattled before Ezekiel popped his head out. Alejandro fired a shot that went directly over his head, sending the semi-creature human thing running.

“Nice aim. Guess you’re only good with your feet.”

“Not now!” Alejandro ran into the trees after Ezekiel, loading another tranquilizer ball. Noah hurried after him, not wanting to be left alone with the lions.

He saw the very tail end of Ezekiel scurrying through the bushes and deeper into the forest. If anything, Noah was impressed with Zeke’s lack of fear for the actual wild animals. Money makes people do some crazy things. Or Ezekiel was just crazy in the first place; he could have sworn that boy had a few screws loose even in the first season.

Just as Ezekiel turned the corner, Alejandro shot another tranquilizer, this time it connected with a tree and sent a few mosquitos falling to the floor.

They continued their pursuit until they reached a clearing. Alejandro threw commands at him like a soldier, “You check left and I’ll check right.”

“Whatever,” Noah slowly made his way around the left side of the clearing, not seeing any signs of Ezekiel. They seemed to have lost him in the dense forest.

Noah sauntered his way over to a nook in a tree, sitting in the soft grass. Alejandro continued to root through the bushes for footprints.

“Dude, he’s gone.”

“We can’t be certain—” Alejandro cut himself off with a girlish scream, falling to his ass. Ezekiel burst from a bush and bound across the clearing, disappearing as quickly as he appeared.

Splayed on the floor, Alejandro looked defeated.

“Don’t worry, man. We’ll get him next time.”

“Easy for you to say. You’ve been no help at all.”

“How am I supposed to help without a slingshot?”

“You could at least try,” Alejandro snapped, “Not everyone is getting paid to sit on their ass.”

They sat in suffocating silence.

They’re in the savannah and it’s hot and Ezekiel might still be around and he can’t stand this stupid challenge anymore. Alejandro was being… weird, constantly switching between friendly and pissed. He kind of assumed that he was over the villainous act around Noah because of the whole ‘Chris’s assistant’ thing and their chat last night, but whatever.

Based on his attitude, he was bitter about Noah’s paycheck.

He thought back to the night before, reminded of Alejandro’s openness about his family and the way the quiet darkness of the cabin loosened his tongue. Last night he had told Alejandro he got paid to be on the show, what’s the harm in telling him why? Maybe it would ease his bitterness.

He might as well start from the beginning, “Chris only hired me as a sixteen-year-old intern because my resume was super underqualified. It was basically me begging for money.”

“Yeah? Seems on brand for you.”

Yep, definitely angry about the ‘Chris paying him’ situation.

Noah continued, “He liked my audacity and, weirdly enough, he had a heart before the show started.”

Alejandro scoffed, “Hard to believe. He was throwing interns at sharks during Island.”

“I said he had a heart, not a particularly large one, but he had one. And since he had that heart, he gave me medical bonuses before he even really knew me.”

He sat up from where he was laying in the clearing, “Medical bonuses? For what?”

Noah was reminded of the phone call with his mom and debated the entire point of this conversation. Sure, telling Alejandro about his baggage would make them closer and probably ease his bitterness, but would he even be comfortable telling him? Noah had never even outright told Chris, it was always discussed in half-formed sentences and metaphors. Plus, telling Alejandro might totally backfire and make the guy feel like he’s being manipulated.

Okay, he was overthinking this. It’s not like this conversation was going to be aired, considering the content of it, he just needed to rip the bandaid off.

“My dad is hospitalized, has been for the past… eighteen years? He’s basically a vegetable in a hospital bed.”

Alejandro blinked in shock. No words came out of his mouth so Noah continued with the word vomit, as that seemed to be working well enough.

“So Chris read my application and did a background check, found out about my situation, and kinda just started feeding me money? It really helped but it was never enough to cover the bills because my mom insists on the most god-forsaken expensive care for a husband that can’t even talk to her, plus paying for my and my sisters’ college tuitions. None of them even help despite there being eight of them, so I guess they’re sort of like your brother. Useless. Though Jose is way dumber, like my dad. My dad’s brain dead just like your brother is figuratively brain dead—”

“Wait,” Alejandro said, scrambling to sit beside Noah under the shade of the tree, “Despite how funny it is to hear you make fun of my brother—shut up.”

“How kind of you, Alejandro. A real gentleman. Sharing my emotional trauma and you tell me to shut up.”

“I’ve never heard you talk this much and it’s honestly concerning, mi amigo,” He settled next to Noah and looked him earnestly in the eyes, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Well, quid pro quo. You tell me your family trauma and I tell you mine, I guess,” Noah laughed hoarsely, “God, this is awkward.”

Alejandro softened, “You let me be honest for once, so I’ll let you do the same. I may not know everything about you, but tell me about it.”

Noah hesitated for a moment but Alejandro raised his eyebrows in encouragement. He had already gotten the basic situation out, spilling everything else seemed almost appealing at this point.

“Basically, my dad got leveled by some faulty scaffolding,” He started lamely, trying to downplay with sarcasm. “I was born, like, two weeks later; premature from all the stress.”

“No wonder you’re so weak.”

“Nice of you to bully me through my trauma,” Noah rolled his eyes, though a pleasant warmth spread in his gut. “It was hard on my mom to take care of all of us while supporting my dad. My mom worked three jobs while my sister, Priya, took over caring for me. I was ten when she moved out, basically leaving me to raise myself.”

“But you two are still close, no? You both applied to the show.”

Noah laughed, “No, that was my other sister, Maya.”

“Jesus, how many of you are there?” Alejandro joked, probably trying to lighten the mood.

“I have eight sisters, though I only like a few of them.”

“Oh God! Your poor mother,” He dramatically held a hand to his heart, “That many children is a travesty.”

“Tell me about it,” Noah sighed, “By the time my dad’s health insurance had been cut, I was old enough to work. Since the disability checks weren’t covering the bills, I had to work at a Chuck E. Cheese and Tim Hortons at fourteen. While I slaved away my sisters went to college—their tuitions paid for by me.”

Alejandro sympathetically furrowed his brow, the humor from before gone, “I’m sorry. Your sisters should have been there for you and your mom.”

“Don’t be,” Noah reassured him. His sisters were just being honest with their mom, something he had neglected to do over the years. Truly, he could care less for his dad, the same as his sisters. Yet, as his sisters moved on, he clung to the remains of their family.

Noah continued, “I’m the real dickhead. I mean, I would do the same as them, even now. I’m going to do the same thing the second this show is over.”

Oxford was meant to be a new start across the world from his mom after his contract ended, following in the steps of his sisters. Instead, he was pretending to be a manipulator on television for a few quick bucks.

“What are you doing here then?” Alejandro asked pointedly, “What do you need the money for if not to help your mom? You don’t seem like the greedy type, Noah.”

A lump formed in his throat; he had no clue why he was still on the show. Sure, the potential phone call to his professor was a good motivator, but if he dropped now Chris would be plenty pleased. His life was already set from his scholarships and slowly accumulated money in his savings account.

Why was he doing all this if he was going to ditch his mom after the show anyway?

“I don’t know,” Noah sneered. “Maybe I am greedy.”

“You aren’t like your sisters, Noah,” Alejandro placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“I am. I hate my father because he’s a fucking vegetable, just like them.”

“You don’t have to think of helping your mom as helping your dad. Support her,” He was genuinely empathetic, an understanding that can only be built through equal emotional turmoil. Noah supposed that even if Alejandro hated both of his parents, he kind of loved them too.

His words weren’t foreign thoughts, but they had never been voiced outside of Noah’s own head. His mom and dad had always been linked to each other; help one and therefore help the other. Perhaps he could change that.

“Okay, enough introspection for today,” Noah brushed Alejandro’s hand from his shoulder. Being emotionally vulnerable was tiring. How did anyone have a therapist?

Alejandro still seemed worried, “I must know if you are here for the right reasons, Noah. I refuse to ally myself with someone so shallow.”

“Shallow? Have you looked in the mirror? You and Heather are probably the shallowest people here.”

He glared, “Do not misconstrue me, amigo. You say you have no reason for wanting the money. Even Heather has aspirations as to what to do with the prize, and that is admirable. Our partnership will only continue if you are honest with me about your ambitions.”

“I—” Noah thought for a moment. If there was one thing he wanted, it was to finally let go of mourning a father he never had. He was ready to pull both himself and his mother away from the grief they had grown comfortable in, “I want the money to bring my family together.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Noah knew they were true. In the back of his mind the want had been stewing, only brought to the surface due to Alejandro’s insistence. The idea had been suppressed, but he supposed now he was ready to accept his unrealistic wants.

Alejandro smiled charmingly, “Good! Now that that’s out of the way, I have a proposition.”

He was relieved at the change of topic. When agreeing to come on the show, Noah never expected to get an emotional pep talk from a slimy eel, yet here he was. Somehow, Alejandro had made him consider major psychological issues with a few sentences.

He asked, “And that is?”

“I say we form an official alliance. We vote with each other, plan together, and perhaps form alliances that the other cannot.”

Noah felt a spark of daring. Conniving was surprisingly enjoyable, “What are you implying?”

“I can form an alliance with Heather, something you are unable to do due to her deep hatred of you, and you can help drag along the oaf.”

“Oaf? Owen?” Noah really didn’t appreciate calling the guy an oaf. He was dumber than a pile of rocks, but he was a very sweet, sensitive pile of rocks. “And doesn’t Heather also hate you?”

“Yes, however, she values my importance. She doesn’t believe you have the same value as I do. Do we have a deal?”

“Yeah, ‘cause this is going to work.”

“Have faith, Noah. Believe in us.”

The idea of two-timing Heather was appealing, though Noah suspected that Alejandro had much more to gain from this than he did. Alejandro got to form an alliance with a fierce competitor while Noah dragged along Owen. However, it was such an amazing opportunity to gain votes.

He gave in, “Okay, but we vote Cody out tonight.”

They shook on it.

Alejandro raised an eyebrow, “Is that Chris’ orders or yours?”

Noah smirked and said, “I have a mind of my own. Who I find annoying is just who I find annoying.”

He laughed, “I understand.”

They sat under the shade of the tree for a while, Noah contemplating their earlier conversation. Underlying his hatred for his dad was the love for his mom. He had let that hatred overpower his actions for too long, so now was his time to reunite his family. Even if that meant completely separating himself from his dad.

Noah turned to Alejandro, “Thanks.”

“Quid pro quo, yes? I tell you my trauma and you tell me yours.”

“Well, it's not like you signed up to hear about my clusterfuck of a life.”

Alejandro shrugged, “I must admit, I suppose I made… assumptions about you. I thought you were conceited.”

“‘Suppose’ you made assumptions? You were pissed.”

“Was I that obvious?” Alejandro flushed.

Noah smirked, “When you know what you’re looking for it’s obvious. You have really got to fix your self-centeredness, it makes you unnecessarily rude.”

He scoffed, “And you aren’t unnecessarily rude? Please.”

“No one said I didn’t have the same problem. Maybe we’ll get therapy together.”

Alejandro laughed, it was oddly comforting, “My mother would detest the very idea. She says therapy is for weak people, not Burromuertos.”

Noah blanched, “She runs your family like a dictatorship.”

“You have no clue,” He laughed again, “We all have matching necklaces to ‘prove our allegiance to the family values.’”

He gestured to the miniature bull skull tied around his neck. It was a beautiful necklace but knowing the meaning behind it made it almost sinister.

Alejandro continued, “She says it’s made from real bone but I’m pretty sure a guy scammed her and she’s too proud to admit it. A real representation of her values, if I must say.”

“And those values are?”

“A Burromuerto must never admit weakness, show fear, or fail. Anything below an A is abhorrent, on time is late, ugliness is life threatening, don’t subvert social expectations, so on and so forth.”

Noah raised an eyebrow worriedly, “She sounds like a nice woman.”

“She’s worse in person,” Alejandro fiddled with the necklace, seemingly lost in thought.

“Can I touch it?”

“Oh! Sure, amigo.”

Noah twiddled with the carved necklace, examining it, “It’s cute for a cheap piece of plastic, I guess.”

Alejandro laughed, “My mother would loathe to hear it.”

He hummed in amusement, “I wouldn’t mind telling her.”

“Why thank you, mi caballero.”

It was hot. The sun had seemed to cool but Noah felt as though the temperature had risen. Alejandro was smiling at him mindlessly, their eye contact hadn’t been broken in minutes, and Noah’s palm was still pressed against the warmth of the Spaniard’s collar bone. He refused to pull his hand away, partly out of a refusal to lose their odd staring contest and partly because… he didn’t want to.

Alejandro’s green eyes peered up at him through his eyelashes and a warm, slick want slid down Noah’s spine. He flicked his eyes down to his lips, seeing blindingly white teeth and a stupid goatee that was, honestly, outrageously attractive. When he looked up again, Alejandro was somehow closer than before.

He was all teeth and green eyes and shiny hair.

In middle school, he had a boyfriend named Jake. They dated for approximately two weeks before Noah broke it off because of a weird guilt that his father would somehow be disappointed. They had kissed a handful of times, but Noah had never felt like this before. And now, he didn’t really care about disappointing a dad he’d never even spoken to.

Noah slid his hand to cup behind Alejandro’s neck, drawing him closer. His blunt nails scratched the smooth skin of his neck, shadowed from the sun by a soft veil of hair. The bow of his lips was appetizing and Noah leaned in further. Alejandro’s breath scattered across Noah’s cheek.

He wanted to kiss him. The urge wasn’t helped by the fact that he had just been confessing everything to the other boy not even five minutes ago. Emotional vulnerability really did wonders to his romance drive.

Alejandro’s eyes fluttered for a moment before snapping open suddenly. Alejandro pulled away sharply, eyes still locked with Noah’s.

“Uhm,” He said, “Uh— Heather.”

Noah blinked.

“Alliances,” Alejandro suddenly stood from their cove in the tree, “Gotta go make them. Yep.”

White hot wanting still swirled in his stomach for a moment. Replacing that want came a weird biting jealousy as he watched Alejandro fluster out of the clearing. Noah felt his face go red from shame.

What was he doing? This was a game show and that was definitely going on the air. It didn’t matter if there were no visible cameras around, Chris had eyes everywhere.

Plus, Alejandro was the last person he should have a torrid love affair with. He was attractive, sure, but he was also helplessly falling for Heather—evident by the way he seemed to remember her the moment they were about to… kiss.

God, this was dumb.

He took a few deep breaths to calm the redness of his face before he trailed behind Alejandro into the open savannah.

The few minutes it takes to catch up to him, Alejandro has somehow knocked himself out alongside Heather, Duncan, and Owen. Chris is standing nearby, gazing on the passed out group in utter disbelief.

“What the hell happened?” Noah asked.

“Everyone had their finger on the trigger, I guess,” Chris sighed heavily. “They all shot each other.”

“This is pretty par for the course for Owen, but Heather?”

“Whatever, dude. Get your lungs ready for another song!” The familiar ding sounded, “Song time!”

The other contestants remained passed out in the grass.

Chris raised a brow, “Hello? Noah? A half an hour of them sleeping isn’t going to up the ratings! I want a song. Pronto.”

“No fucking way, Chris. A solo?”

“Sing!”

Noah hunched over and began monotonously, “It’s a beautiful day on the Serengeti, the perfect time to plan and hunt.”

Heather twitched awake on the ground, Chris encouraged her to sing along. The others slowly shook themselves awake beside her, still stuck to the ground but becoming aware of the inevitable need to sing.

She reluctantly sang, “I'll find Zeke and win this dumb game, as soon as my leg wakes up!”

“Going alone just makes you look sad and pathetic,” Alejandro cut in, managing to move his arm, “Plus, you'll die without a trace.”

“Hey!” She shouted, offended.

Duncan turned to Owen, who was still struggling to even lift his head, “We teamed up and almost had a Zeke. I could see the zits right on his face.”

Heather glared, “‘Almost’ gets you nowhere around here. You're a loser duo, that's all.”

“‘Loser’ is what the lion called you, when you couldn't find your balls. Tranq balls, that is!” Owen shouted in defense of him and Duncan, finally successfully kicking one of his legs free.

“It’s a beautiful day in the Serengeti, the perfect time to plan and hunt,” Noah continued, standing amidst the group of struggling contestants. Most of them were halfway to standing, their legs still numb from the tranquilizers.

“I'll find Zeke and win this dumb game, as soon as my leg wakes up,” Heather stumbled to her feet for a second before she crumpled to the floor again, sending a glare to Noah. “My leg!”

“My hand!” Alejandro whined.

“My arm.” Duncan sang, rubbing it in an attempt to wake it.

Owen scrubbed his hands across his face and muttered, “Ugh, my face!”

“Wake uuuuup!” They sang in unison as the downed contestants finally made their way to their feet. “Wake uuuuuuuuup!”

They finished the musical number, panting from the strain of overcoming tranquilizers.

“Why are you tired? You just stood there,” Heather said venomously.

Noah shrugged, “Being a good singer is hard. Not that you would know.”

“Somebody better catch Zeke fast,” Chris interjected. “‘Cause the plane is taking off in exactly one hour, with or without you.”

Noah knew he was bluffing—no contestants; no show—but the others seemed to sweat a bit more.

Chris turned to Chef excitedly, “Want to watch tranq ball massacre on the widescreen?”

Chef nodded, smiling. They first bumped before zooming off in their overpriced golf cart. Immediately upon their departure, Owen turned to him in a panic.

“We lost Cody!”

“What?”

Owen flailed his hands in the air in an attempt to explain, “He got kidnapped by some monkeys while we were hunting Zeke! We didn’t even notice he was gone until, like, just before we passed out!”

Noah was surprised. Chris was right for once, Cody was unimportant enough to get forgotten twice in one day. Helplessly, he said, “What do you want me to do about that?”

Duncan butted in, “Nothing. We aren’t gonna rescue him, we have to find Zeke first, Owen.”

The large boy frowned, “But that’s mean.”

“C’mon, we don’t have time for this,” Duncan said, making his way back into the tall grass of the savannah.

Noah took this as the perfect opportunity to make an alliance with Owen, “I’ll help you find Cody if you vote with me tonight.”

“Okay!” Owen brightened. “Where do we start?”

Noah scanned the area, his eyes briefly landing on Alejandro and Heather. Alejandro was whispering in Heather’s ear, likely conspiring about some evil plan that he was going to enact. A loose knot formed in his stomach; was their alliance still standing? He really hoped Alejandro was making an alliance with Heather for their sake and not his.

He quickly moved on to study the forest behind them, which conveniently had monkeys scurrying in the trees.

Noah jerked his finger in the direction of the forest, “How ‘bout there?”

“Awesome! I knew you were the right guy to go to!”

They began the long walk towards the collection of trees, sweating under the savannah heat. Owen was a bit fidgety, constantly looking over his shoulder at Duncan’s lone figure.

Once they breached the tree line he spoke up, “Do you think Duncan’ll be mad at me?”

“Probably.”

“Aw, man! He was the only alliance I really had…” Owen said, obviously fishing for Noah to say something in response.”

He sighed, he was becoming oddly fond of Owen’s naivety, “We can alliance.”

“That’s great, Buddy! I can always count on you in times of need.” Owen patted him heartily on the back, almost knocking him from his feet.

“Yeah, no problem. Just remember, alliance partners always vote together.”

“Of course, man. And it’s, like, totally cool to be allies with you because I don’t have to hide anything!” Owen rambled as Noah led them deeper into the forest towards vague monkey-ish hooting and hollering. “I mean, I’ve been dying to tell someone about the bribes and stuff. You being here really puts the pressure on…”

Noah laughed a bit, mostly talking to himself, “Chris would be delighted to know that.”

“I know earlier you said not to tell Heather about the bribes, but what if I told Duncan or Cody?”

“No,” He really didn’t want to scare the guy anymore, but telling anyone about the deals would ruin his entire fear factor. The deals were meant to seem almost illegal, not a commonplace practice. “If you tell anyone, you’re guaranteed to get voted off. They’ll all think it’s unfair and turn against you. Do you want that?”

Owen gulped, “No.”

“Exactly. Just keep quiet about it and you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, yeah…” He laughed. “I can do that just fine! Totally fine!”

There was no way Owen was going to be normal about this. Before Noah could regret scaring the guy, they entered a clearing with a very obvious Cody-shaped figure hanging from a tree branch. His feet dangled a foot or so off the ground as a monkey circled him excitedly.

As the monkey jumped around him he tried to placate it by holding out his hands, “Nice monkey… Don’t eat lil’ old me…”

“Cody!” Owen shrieked. The monkey let out a horrible scream, making all three of them cover their ears.

“Careful! It really likes me.” The monkey grabbed hold of his foot and massaged it. “It’s like another Sierra!”

“I’m coming, Buddy!” Owen charged towards the pair, only to be attacked by three other monkeys waiting in the trees. The monkeys clung to his back and clawed him to no effect, as Owen continued to sprint at Cody.

The obsessive monkey shrunk back in fear, allowing Owen to swipe Cody from the branch and run back towards Noah. Cody was slung over Owen’s shoulder, screaming and slapping the monkeys clinging to his back. Owen scooped Noah up as he ran by, dragging them all out into the open savannah.

“Ow!” Owen yelled as a monkey clawed its way to the top of his head, “Let go!”

Noah pulled on the creature’s tail, causing it to yelp and fall to the grassy floor. The other two followed, leaving the group to catch their breath.

Cody collapsed to the ground, “Thanks, guys. You are real life savers.”

“Of course! That’s what buddies are for!” Owen said.

Tonight was going to be rough if Owen still saw Cody as a friend. Noah was convinced he could make Owen side with him over Cody, but he was still wary of upsetting him.

Owen continued, “And buddies never like or keep secrets or don’t tell their buddies about secret deals behind their backs!”

“Yeah!” Cody said. “Wait, what?”

Oh god, he had to intervene. Noah hurriedly changed the topic, “We should focus on catching Zeke now.”

Both of the other boys perked up, ready to resume the challenge after their clusterfuck of an afternoon. Noah spotted Heather and Alejandro in the distance and decided to join them despite the inevitable awkwardness.

Once his small group joins theirs, he spots Duncan washing himself off in a nearby waterhole. Noah tries to make eye contact with Alejandro to raise his eyebrow in question but the other is starkly avoiding looking at him. Heather rolls her eyes when she sees him.

“Look who finally decided to focus on the actual challenge,” She said.

Noah sneered, “Yeah, glad to see you ripped your eyes off Alejandro long enough to actually participate.”

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” Heather asked. “You’ve seemed obsessed since day one.”

Noah felt his face heat up and his head was devoid of comebacks, “Says you.”

“Original.”

They glared at each other for a moment, Alejandro ignoring the entire conversation at their side. Duncan’s scream broke them from the staring contest.

“Help!” He screamed as Ezekiel pinned him to the ground, “A little help here?!”

Noah scrambled to pull his tranquilizer ball out, uselessly throwing it at Ezekiel’s head. It bounced off of him and into the grass. He turned to Owen and grabbed his slingshot from his hand, loading it with a tranquilizer.

Just as Alejandro casually pulled out his slingshot, Noah managed to nail Ezekiel with a tranquilizer, knocking both him and Duncan unconscious.

Alejandro turned to him in excitement, grabbing his shoulders, “We did it!”

“Yes!” Noah grabbed him in turn. They smiled at each other excitedly before realizing their closeness, quickly pulling away from each other.

Heather, who had turned to look at Alejandro in disappointment of what she thought was their loss, looked like she had been robbed. She fumed, “What the fuck?”

Alejandro composed himself, “An alliance partner's win is a win for me.”

He really didn’t understand where they stood at the moment. They were in an alliance yet the moment they interacted Alejandro shied away like a middle school girl. Obviously, the previous almost-maybe-kiss thing freaked him out. He was going to have to alleviate the awkwardness if he wanted to keep the strongest alliance he had in the game.

“I’m going to kill you.”

Chris pulled up in his golf cart, “Congrats, Noah! You’re on your way to first class.”

“I would’ve had a shot if you two didn’t steal all my ammo!” Heather pointed at him and Alejandro, who were firmly looking in different directions.

Noah shrugged evilly, in sync with Alejandro.

“Aww, you guys are so cute!” Chris cooed. For once, Noah didn’t know who he was talking about. “Now, quick, grab Duncan and let’s get the heck out of Africa before Zeke wakes up!”

Owen grabbed Duncan under his arms and dropped him in the back of the golf cart. Everyone packed themselves in and Chef drove them to the plane where they all quickly boarded and prepared for take off.

Noah quietly informed Chris that he wanted Alejandro as his first class partner, which was very funny to the host.

“So… romancing the other option, are we?” Chris said, smirking.

Noah flushed, “Don’t even.”

“Watching you bomb on the big screen was therapeutic but insanely cringy, man. If you’re gonna get gay on T.V. can you at least not make it awkward?”

“Look, it was weird and I’m gonna tell him to forget it tonight.”

“But think of the ratings, Noah! A love triangle like that? Groundbreaking.”

“Not happening,” Noah said firmly.

Chris slapped him on the shoulder, “Then Cody better be gone tonight. If you won’t explore this awesome emotional romantic connection then can you at least not disappoint me?”

“On it,” Noah replied sarcastically. He hurried into the main area of the plane to ensure he had enough votes for tonight, heading to Owen first.

The boy was fidgeting on an economy class bench, avoiding talking to anyone.

“We’re voting Cody,” Noah told him, just to rip the bandaid off already.

“What?!” Owen yelled, then continued quietly when he got a strange look from Heather on the other side of the cabin. “But we just saved him from monkeys!”

“I know,” Noah considered what could convince Owen to vote for him and thought back to their earlier conversation after the rescue. “You told him about the deals and he’s really mad.”

“What? When did I do that?”

“You let it slip after we saved him from the monkeys,” Noah lied to up the severity of the situation, “He said he’s voting for you tonight.”

“Oh no… “ Owen nervously bit his fingernails, “Okay, I’ll vote him. Gosh, I feel bad!”

Noah felt bad that he was emotionally destroying one of his fellow contestants, especially one he was growing to like, but being a manipulator on reality T.V. spared no feelings. Noah left him to worry in the corner, running into Alejandro in the halls.

Alejandro avoided eye contact and tried to step around him, but Noah grabbed his arm.

“Is Heather voting with us?” He asked.

He gulped, keeping his eyes on a point past Noah’s head, “Yeah. Owen too?”

“Yep.”

“Okay,” Alejandro shook himself from Noah’s grasp and continued into economy class, probably to talk to Heather.

Irritated, Noah slipped into the little bathroom stall to vote. He stamped Cody’s passport aggressively, trying to relieve some of the tension in his gut. He didn’t know what he was more mad at, Alejandro ignoring him or Alejandro talking to Heather. Either option was pathetic. After much internal debate, he decided to suppress those feelings and make a confessional.

“Alejandro and I are in an alliance, which is extremely beneficial long term. He’s definitely a contendant for the finale, so allying with him basically guarantees me a spot in the final three. From there, I can win. We’re a bit rocky right now for… reasons, but I’ll talk it out with him in first class.

“I’ve managed to convince Owen to ally with me too. He’s kind of shaken up because I’m Chris’ assistant but at least he’s sticking by my side. After Cody’s elimination, Duncan will be the odd man out and vulnerable to getting voted off. My only problem’s Heather. Alejandro said he’d make an alliance with her but her hatred for me may make a long term situation difficult. Plus, she’s the only one who isn’t even semi-accepting of my past as Chris’ assistant.”

Noah sighed and slumped back against the disgusting toilet seat, “Honestly, I should just vote her out but I don’t think Chris or Alejandro would be down for it.”

He stood from the gross toilet and excited the stall as Chef announced the elimination ceremony over the loudspeakers. Everyone was already seated on the bleachers when he arrived, Alejandro sat near Heather for once. Noah took a seat on the opposite side of the bleachers next to Owen.

Again, Chris was pampered by his makeup artist until the moment the cameras started rolling. He flipped through the passports casually, murmuring as he went, “Oh, juicy... Unexpected!

“Alrighty, one vote for Noah, one vote for Cody, one vote for Duncan, another for Cody, and two more for Cody! Cody is the lucky loser tonight.”

“Oh,” Cody said, intelligently.

“We have no time to waste!” Chris said, shoving the parachute in his hands. “Hurry up and hop off my plane.”

“Uh, okay. Well, bye guys! I’m just glad I got to experience part of this season without Sierra touching my feet while I slept.” Cody smiled, putting on the parachute and standing in the doorway of the hatch. “Thank you guys for—”

Chris, in his impatience, nudged him off the edge of the landing. Cody’s scream slowly receded as he got closer to the ground, leaving them in silence until Chris spoke again.

“I think I’m gonna miss that wimp,” Chris lied. “Alejandro, you’re going to the big leagues with Noah.”

“What?” Alejandro asked, finally turning to look at Noah for the first time.

“Okay, all of you head to your cabins. I need a dip in my golden hot tub to cool off.”

Heather made a face at him, “I think that’s the opposite of what a hot tub does.”

“Just get out.”

The contestants shuffled out into the common area, all of them splitting up into economy or first class. Noah walked into the first class cabin, Alejandro awkwardly shuffling in behind him. Alejandro sat in a seat in the back of the cabin, probably expecting Noah to keep his distance. Instead, Noah sat across from him.

Alejandro looked up and seemed to contemplate saying something. They opened their mouths at the same time.

“About earlier—”

Noah cut him off, “We should just forget about it.”

He was learning to accept his unrealistic wants and Alejandro was just another. The guy was attractive and charming, cunning in ways that Noah found enticing, but being with him in any way was impossible. He was straight, infatuated with Heather, and out of his league.

Besides, his small crush was spontaneous and likely due to a form of cabin fever. Who wouldn’t fall for Alejandro when their only other options are Duncan, Cody, and Owen?

Getting this ordeal over with was the best option, so ignoring Noah’s random attempt to make a move on him was ideal.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Look, I’m sorry. That whole thing was so awkward. I basically spew all my family bullshit onto you then try to make a move. That’s not cool. Let’s just move on, yeah?”

“Yeah. That’s fine,” Alejandro seemed to regain his suaveness, “Don’t worry about it. I know my attractiveness is irresistible.”

Noah snorted, “As if. I was probably suffering from severe heat stroke, your saliva was the only water around.”

“Gross,” Alejandro laughed.

“Our alliance is all good then?”

“Of course. Strategy always comes first.”

Noah held out his hand, “Shake on it, like a gentleman.”

“I always am a gentleman,” Alejandro took his hand in a firm grasp.

“Debatable.”

“Says the overthinking sarcastic nerd. Chivalry is a foreign concept to you, amigo.”

“Yet I’m your strongest alliance.”

Alejandro was still holding his hand, though his grasp had loosened, “That says more about our competitors than me.”

Noah reclined in his chair, slowly pulling himself from Alejandro’s grasp. Their fingers lingered before both of them pulled away. He chose to ignore that sequence of events, “Hmm, probably.”

“Tired already?”

He closed his eyes against the harsh light of the cabin, “Incredibly. It’s not everyday you have a life changing experience in Africa.”

“Are my lips really life changing?” Alejandro teased, though he sounded tense approaching the topic.

“As if. It’s more about the lack of emotional stability we both have.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Noah turned on his side to get comfortable, “If you’re going to be a dick then I’m going to sleep.”

“Have a good night then.”

He laughed, “Night.”

He heard Alejandro get comfortable across from him, settling into sleep. Now that the whole kiss debacle had been resolved, he could move on with a strategy that included Alejandro as a major participant. Hopefully, Chris was done with his requests on who to vote out and Noah could convince his allies to vote out Duncan after the next challenge.

Then, he might be able to finally attack Heather’s strong foundation in the game. With a bit of hard convincing and drastic measures being taken, Alejandro might vote for Heather. With Heather gone, he might have a shot at winning the million dollar prize.

He just has to actually put his plan into action tomorrow.

Chapter Text

By the time the plane was approaching their next destination, Noah had made little development in his plans. He had briefly spoken to Chris, who claimed that his requests were done and that he wanted to ‘see the course of the game’, whatever that means. However, over the few hours they had been in the air, Heather and Duncan had seemed to grow closer.

An alliance between the two wasn’t detrimental to his plans but was potentially troubling. While Noah trusted Alejandro to vote with him for the time being, Owen was as flimsy as the plane. The guy had secluded himself in the corner of economy class to nervously bite his fingernails. If Duncan and Heather put their manipulation skills together, they might be able to sway his vote due to his general uneasiness.

So, really, he was a little peeved he seemed to sleep through a majority of their trip. Being awake and active may have prevented at least some of the friendship blossoming between Duncan and Heather.

Noah had only woken up because of Alejandro shaking him awake. He had a curious look on his face as he hunched over Noah, an eyebrow raised in silent question, “One of the interns is asking for you.”

Begrudgingly, Noah sat up in his seat, “They probably need help fixing Chris’ hot tub. Again.”

“Have fun fixing that,” Alejandro huffed in amusement. “I have to go make sure Duncan doesn’t sway any of our votes.”

“I doubt he can. Heather isn’t that easy to persuade.”

“One can hope,” Alejandro helped him out of the seat, grabbing hold of his hand.

At the door, Noah heard someone clear their throat loudly. Pauly was stood with his eyebrows raised and his arms crossed, looking between the two of them impatiently.

“There’s enough of me to go around, no need to rush,”. Alejandro shared a small smile with Noah over the comment. Last night’s conversation must have officially smoothed his jitters over the almost-kiss thing.

The second Noah was within arms reach, Pauly grabbed him by the shoulder and steered him into the interns’ bedroom as fast as he could. Natalia and Jack were sat on one of the twin beds, waiting for them.

Once the door had clicked shut, Pauly turned to him, “Dude, did you seriously kiss Alejandro?”

Noah spluttered, “How do you know about that?”

“So it is true!” Jack cheered, “Natalia thought it was a rumor some bored camera op made up.”

Natalia pouted, “To be fair, it sounds insane. I mean, no offense, but Alejandro and Noah?”

“Thanks for the confidence booster,” Noah said sarcastically, “We didn’t actually kiss.”

It was Jack’s turn to pout, “So it was a lie?”

“Yes. Is this all you wanted me for?”

“Dude,” Pauly said. “You have got to be lying. You guys had that weird tension when I came to get you.”

Jack sent him a pointed look and Noah cracked under the pressure, “I sorta came onto him during the last challenge. It was weird and totally spontaneous. I don’t even really know why I did it.”

“No way!” Natalia gasped. “You actually made a move on someone?”

“He rejected you?” Pauly asked, “Really? He’s been treating you like Heather, which is saying something.”

Noah put his face in hands, groaning, “Guys, I don’t even like him like that. Sure, he’s attractive, but I have other priorities.”

“This is the least sarcastic I’ve ever heard you be.”

“Because I’m being serious, Jack. I was a dick and I’m trying not to be.”

“That’s new,” He responded, crossing his arms slyly, “You must really like the guy if you aren’t trying to be mean.”

“I’m sick of you all. Come get me if you have real problems,” Noah opened the door, ready to storm out, when Natalia stopped him.

“Noah, we aren’t trying to make fun of you,” She glared at the boys. “We just want you to see reality. You’re the first person he’s been genuinely friendly to, you know that means something.”

He knew she was right about their genuine friendliness meaning something, but he doubted that it meant what she thought it did. Alejandro was interested in Heather, despite his claims otherwise, and Noah didn’t even see him like that, almost-kiss be damned.

Shrugging, he walked out the door with a shouted, “Whatever,” over his shoulder. Being mean to his interns was a staple of working for Chris, he wouldn’t let being a contestant and one pep-talk change that.

Instead of focusing on what his annoying subordinates wanted him to prioritize, Noah decided to concentrate on the game. He had to vote Duncan off tonight and he would need to ensure Heather’s vote to do that. How, however, was uncertain.

Her alliance with Alejandro was fickle and likely just as shallow on both ends, the instability of it already shown by her developing allyship with Duncan. To gain her loyalty, even for this one vote, he would have to make her an offer she couldn’t refuse. Which, of course, would mean lying and manipulation.

Noah wanted her gone as soon as possible but the only thing that would make her ally with him would be a guarantee into the finale, as he didn’t have much else to offer. Really, he could tell her that Alejandro and him were creating an alliance for the final three while convincing Alejandro to vote for Heather. It was sneaky; exactly the kind of drama Chris was looking for.

When he had finally marched all the way down the hall into economy class, Duncan was still glued to Heather’s side. Alejandro was nowhere to be found, along with Owen, leaving Duncan as his only obstacle in talking to Heather.

Noah approached them, “Duncan, Chris wants to talk to you.”

He sneered, “The fuck? About what?”

“Your… ‘art’ in the bathroom can’t be aired on television,” Noah said. It was a safe bet considering the amount of times he’s had to berate Duncan for vandalism in the past.

Scowling, he slid into the hallway towards Chris’ cabin.

Heather raised an eyebrow at him, “What do you want?”

“What ever could you mean, Heather?” He took Duncan’s spot next to her, maintaining a safe distance. She was like a wildcat, ready to pounce at any weakness.

“Alejandro was just in here trying to talk to me and now Duncan is conveniently called away? I call bullshit. What is this about?”

Now he had to try and introduce his false alliance in a way that would be appealing to Heather, even though she despised the both of them.

“Well,” He put on his best salesman voice, “Me and Alejandro want to form an alliance to guarantee us as the final three.”

Heather raised her eyebrow suspiciously, though she seemed intrigued, “And why is that?”

“We’re the ones who deserve the money the most.”

“We? How on Earth are either of you deserving of the money?”

Noah called on his experience as Chris’ appointed motivational speaker, saying, “Alejandro has played the game to its fullest extent, something that only you had done before. I mean, how many people have actually prioritized the money over friendship? Only three people; us.”

She still didn’t look convinced, so he continued, “If we’re the final three we can all have a fair shot at the million without freeloaders clogging the way. Owen won Island and Duncan hasn’t even once attempted to actually win the game. We’re the only three people that even deserve a shot.”

“And why shouldn’t you just vote him out now? When it comes down to the finale, he’s a much stronger competitor than you, that’s for sure.”

Noah contemplated his answer. Looking back on his original plan, he had made some major adjustments. Originally, he wanted to eliminate Alejandro as quickly as possible because of his manipulations but somewhere along the line he had become genuinely friendly with the guy.

Having the pretense of knowing him had allowed Alejandro to open up, causing Noah to do the same. Sure there had been a bit of a flub surrounding the whole borderline harassment, but they had swiftly shoved that whole affair under the rug.

The Spaniard had changed from a problem to a solution. Now, he was hoping to face him in the finale so they both had a fair shot at winning the million. He didn’t want to vote him out because he had become a friend, but Noah would never admit that to another contestant. Plus, it would totally destroy the entire point he was making to Heather.

“He has long-term benefits. Someone as strong as him aiding me during a challenge? Extremely beneficial.”

Heather scowled, “And what if he turns on you like he did on Courtney? He values winning over whatever alliance you think you have with him.”

“I doubt it,” Noah sighed and made his final offer to her, “Look, we can shoot for the final three together. The people who really deserve it can have a shot at winning for once.”

“And tell me why you think you deserve the money?” Heather said menacingly, “You’ve actually been paid throughout this hell hole.”

He raised an eyebrow, “So have you.”

She fumed, probably silently cursing him in her mind, before plastering a fake smile on her face, “Fine. However, you have to get Chris to give me a bonus.”

Noah smirked, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Chris would definitely agree to the deal if it guaranteed heightened romantic tensions between Alejandro and Heather. Though when he asked for the money, Noah didn't have tell Chris it was a scheme to eliminate Heather. If anything, he should be proud that Noah was committing to the role of villain enough to even manipulate the host. Really, he didn’t even have to ask Chris.

Lying was becoming an even more appealing option day by day.

Before he spoke to Chris, however, he had to occupy himself with other things. Since the plane had yet to reach their destination he decided to chat with Owen, wherever he was.

Noah left Heather to sit in economy class ruminating on the promise of money to find Owen, who turned out to be just outside the confessional booth. Alejandro was stood next to him, leaning against the wall with a strained look on his face.

“—I’m grateful for all my opportunities, which are exactly equal to yours and not advantaged in any way, and the money I won during Island, which was only a million dollars and I have earned no money outside of it because I’m morally correct. Like, I’d never take advantage of others, ya know? Or, like, accept deals that gave me more money. Or—”

Owen was falling apart under the pressure of keeping his deals with the network under wraps and Noah honestly felt a little bad. The guy had been nothing but nice to him yet was subjected to the worst of Chris’ plan. Alejandro grew visibly more annoyed by every word out of Owen’s mouth, so Noah decided to put the both of them out of their misery by abandoning his plans to talk to Owen.

“Hey, can I chat with you really quick?” Noah asked Alejandro. Owen visibly relaxed, sweat pooled on his forehead, while Alejandro let out a whispered thanks to the heavens. They made their way to first class with no objections from Owen or unfortunate run-ins with Duncan.

Once they had sat down, Alejandro slumped back against the wall, “I cannot stand that oaf.”

“He’s not that bad. Heather is way worse.”

“At least Heather has an ounce of intelligence. Owen is like a tub of lard, large and brainless.”

“But not useless,” Noah was trying to make the most of the situation because he really didn’t want to vote Owen out considering his gullibleness and kindness. “He’d be an easy competitor if we carry him to the final three.”

Alejandro sighed heavily, still visibly annoyed, “I don’t often let feelings get in the way of the game but Owen is so dunderheaded that I might have to make an exception, amigo.”

“Just think about it, Alejandro,” Noah urged him, starting to feel his own frustration grow. “It’s not like you to be emotional.”

“Well, perhaps things have changed,” He didn’t seem as angry anymore, bordering on sheepish. “I’ve come to a recent realization and I am trying to act accordingly.”

Noah was a bit confused by the return of Alejandro’s formal speech patterns and this apparent realization, “What are you talking about?”

He opened his mouth to reply only to be cut off by Chris on the loudspeaker, loudly declaring their landing. With little time, they both strapped themselves into a seat to prepare for the inevitable disaster of a landing. Noah tried to clear his mind before the grueling challenge they undoubtedly had before them, failing miserably.

Sitting next to Alejandro as the plane plummeted, he considered what the crew had said earlier. Alejandro was unfairly attractive; he was muscular—but not too muscular, personable, and confident, with impeccable hair and the ability to pull off that hideous soul patch. Noah knew most of those qualities had been forced on him by his oppressive family, but they were traits he had made his own. Despite living under his mother’s thumb, he had managed to set himself apart from his family values.

Noah admired his strength to be his own person, something he had yet to accomplish. He was still reliant on the identity his mother had forced upon him, acting as the man of his household. Maybe, after the show, Alejandro could help him become independent of his family.

So, perhaps, the crush was a little larger than he had thought…

His internal dialogue ended as the plane shuttered, harshly landing on the ground. All the contestants were ushered off the plane and forced to march across a hot island to meet Chris, who was ridiculously dressed once again.

In nothing but a loincloth, fur boots, and a feathered hat, Chris ordered for the cameras to start up, “Welcome to Easter Island! A.K.A Rapa Nui. Place is old; these dudes were carved so long ago no one even remembers why anymore. Ten bucks says it started as a dare.”

Heather, who was stood next to Noah, scoffed, “Twenty bucks says get on with it.”

“Yeah,” Chris rolled his eyes, “Today you, our final five, are going on a highly traditional Easter Island egg hunt.”

Owen lit up, “For chocolate Easter eggs?” Noah saw Alejandro’s eye twitch in barely concealed anger. Earlier must have really pissed him off if he was still annoyed about it now.

“Uh, no, I’m talking about the old-school kind of eggs. That come from birds. You know those flying things with feathers and talon and vicious kill-you-in-a-second beaks? Speaking of which,” Chris revealed five colored feather hats, all of them less extravagant than his own, “traditional feathered Rapa Nui headdresses.”

He tossed one to each contestant. Owen got green, Heather red, Alejandro blue, Duncan purple, and Noah a hideous orange.

“Wear them with pride, chickens!” Chris looked smug for a moment before gesturing at the large carved heads around them, “Hidden in these head things are a bunch of colored eggs that match the color of your head things. Your challenge? To find three eggs in your color then make a break for the massive underground cavern system and book it all the way up to the highest point on the island. Reach the top with all three eggs to begin the second part of today’s challenge.”

Noah crossed his arms, “So an egg hunt on Easter Island? How original, Chris.”

Heather spoke up directly after him, “What happens if we drop an egg?”

“You’ll have to come all the way back here for a replacement,” Alejandro shot his hand up, “And no, you cannot take a backup egg.”

Alejandro put his hand down in disappointment, muttering, “Cretino.”

“First to the top gets a big advantage in part two. Now, scramble!”

Collectively, they all ran towards the giant heads, which were actually artistic representations of eliminated contestants.

“These are… disturbingly familiar,” Alejandro said, gazing up at the stones.

“Yeah,” Noah agreed, “They even got Lindsay’s lip filler right.”

He laughed, “And Ezekiel’s zits. These are uncanny.”

“Don’t underestimate Chris when he has something on his mind, I guess,” Noah said, slowly making his way up Tyler’s stone head, “Tell me if Lindsay’s got any of my eggs.”

Alejandro had already scaled the side of her hair masterfully, “Same goes to you, amigo.”

Heather, Duncan, and Owen had spread out among the heads, frantically searching for their eggs. Noah wasn’t quite as good as scaling the statues as the others but he was definitely slightly better than Owen. Everytime another contestant came close to him he would panic and fall, rambling the whole time.

When Owen had finally managed to climb up Ezekiel’s head and fish an egg out of his nose, Alejandro was right next to him. The egg was blue causing Alejandro to shout, “Blue is my color! Thank you, Owen.”

Owen shouted at the interruption, dropping the egg onto the floor and shattering it. The yolk sadly leaked into the grass while Owen fumbled for an apology.

“I’m so sorry! That was a total accident! No one told me to do that, I swear!”

Alejandro scowled openly, “I’ll remember that when I locate one of your eggs.”

Owen let out a cry of despair and continued to try to explain himself while Alejandro resumed his climb, though a bit more furiously. The relationship between the two seemed to grow worse at every interaction. If Noah wanted to keep Alejandro from voting him it would take some serious convincing, though he’s certain Alejandro would see reason.

Noah reached into Tyler’s headband, pulling out a bright orange egg.

“I guess he’s finally useful for something.”

“I can’t say the same for Lindsay, there’s nothing but air in here,” Alejandro said, searching in her ear.

Laughing, Noah tucked his egg into one of his many pockets and climbed down from the stone statue. He made his way toward LeShawna’s head because he could’ve sworn he saw an eggshell in her ear. Heather seemed to have thought the same, as she was just a few steps behind him.

“Oh, you are not getting to that egg before me, nerd.”

“It’s orange, Heather. Back off.”

Heather caught up to his slow pace, “Are you colorblind? That is clearly red.”

“We’ll see when we get there, won’t we?” Noah reached LeShawna's neck first, scaling it just ahead of Heather. In the loop of her hoop earring laid a red egg.

Heather smacked his heel and yelled, “I told you! Now, give me that egg.”

Noah picked up the egg and held it for a moment before throwing it down to her, “Consider it a guarantee of our alliance until I can get that paycheck from Chris.”

“You better actually follow up on that promise,” She held the egg carefully, “Don’t expect me to return the favor.”

He continued to search around LeShawna’s head, “Whatever, Heather. That’s at least a thousand dollars deducted from your check.”

“Watch it. I’ll turn on you at the drop of a hat,” She warned as her cryptic goodbye, moving on to a different head.

Noah continued his search around the other heads, finding another of his eggs lodged in Harold’s nose, and moving on to Bridgette. Just as he had finished searching in her stone ponytail, Alejandro came bounding up with four eggs tucked under his arm, three blue and one orange.

“I assume this is yours?” He held the orange egg in one hand while he balanced the other three on his palm.

“Show off,” Noah grabbed his egg and dumped it into another pocket, “How about you put effort into winning instead of doing party tricks?”

Alejandro smiled slyly, “And what have you been doing? Because it seems as though I found your egg.”

He punched the other's arm jokingly, “Let’s start climbing. I think Duncan and Heather already started.”

“But how am I to climb with all these eggs?” Alejandro pouted, obviously glancing down at Noah’s many pockets.

“You really want to weigh me down more? Is that the best idea?”

“It’s an egg. Even someone as weak as you can handle it,” He quickly dropped his eggs into the pocket closest to him, marching off before Noah could protest. They began the steep walk up to the finish line, Noah dragging along behind Alejandro.

“So, about voting tonight,” Noah said, trying to start up a beneficial conversation, “I’m thinking Duncan.”

Alejandro seemed disinterested, “While annoying, he is not our biggest problem.”

Noah perked up. He was hoping Alejandro had finally managed to see past his feelings for Heather due to her closeness with Duncan, “Agreed.”

“I mean, Owen had been a nuisance since day one but lately he has become an unavoidable problem.”

“Is this because he calls you Al?”

“What?” Alejandro held an offended hand to his chest, “No.”

Noah lifted an eyebrow.

His shoulders slumped, “Partly, yes. However, he has been blabbering more than usual lately and it has really started to get on my nerves. I think it’s a ploy to seem pitiful to get to the finale. Why else would he have ‘accidentally’ dropped my egg earlier?”

“Because it was an actual accident?” Noah jogged a bit to catch up to Alejandro’s fast pace, “He isn’t the malicious type.”

“Oh, and you know this because you stalked us backstage for months?”

“And because I’ve actually talked to you all. I’ve spoken to Owen since Island days. The guy’s just worked up over something; he doesn’t deserve to be voted out for it.”

“See, this is exactly what I mean,” Alejandro turned to him suddenly, jabbing a finger in his chest. “He’s acted all pitiful and even you’ve fallen for it. I can see past that act because I’ve done that act, Noah. You should be able to see through it too.”

“You are totally jumping the gun here, man. Let’s just vote Duncan. I thought you’d want him out since he’s been all over Heather lately.”

He finally retracted his accusing finger, “I don’t care about what Heather and Duncan are doing. Really, I don’t.”

“Sure. That’s why you tried to separate them this morning.”

“It was a strategic move to strengthen my alliance with Heather.”

Noah crossed his arms, “And voting off Owen is a strategic move? It’d be better to have him in the final three than anyone else. He’s an easy opponent.”

Truly, Noah was hesitant to vote Owen off due to his own weird form of guilt. He had told the boy that revealing the deals would turn everyone against him, effectively making him a hot mess. If anything, he owed it to Owen to not vote him off as atonement for his lies. Plus, he was actually pretty nice to Noah. He even chose to promote them both to first class after only knowing each other for a day.

Even without his internal reasonings, Noah thought that the reasonings he was presenting to Alejandro were sensible. Especially since they would usually appeal to his analytical winning mindset. He was honestly a little upset that Alejandro refused to see reason.

Whatever realization Alejandro had come to this morning was detrimental to his typical strategizing.

Alejandro huffed haughtily, “Anyone is an easy opponent to me. It doesn’t matter who I’m up against, I’ll win.”

“But voting out Duncan tonight would make winning easier. Why are you throwing away your strategy just because some guy pisses you off?”

“It is strategic,” Alejandro countered. “He’s trying to manipulate the game and you’re falling for it!”

Noah groaned and dragged his hand over his face, “I can’t even begin to point out what’s wrong with that whole theory. Even if he was trying to manipulate us, how would that help him win?”

“Pity would make us more susceptible to allowing him to win. We have to vote him off.”

“Will you please just listen to reason? Let’s just vote Duncan for tonight. Or even Heather, for fuck’s sake! You’ve wanted to get her off the show since the beginning, haven’t you?”

“Well… I—”

“Oh my God, you’re hopeless,” Noah continued to march up the hill, “Just think about it and we’ll talk—”

He was cut off by two girly screams before he saw Heather and Duncan running back down the tunnel, glancing behind them in fear. A large boulder was tumbling down the path, ready to squash them all. Noah ducked into one of the long crevices along the walls of the cavern, tucked in beside Heather and Alejandro.

“Of course. This is just the type of sadistic shit Chris would do,” Noah said.

Heather suddenly screamed; one of her eggs had shattered in the panic and was splattered across her chest. She tried to scrape the yolk off, wailing, “This top was forty-five dollars! And now I have to go back for another egg!”

She turned on Alejandro, “This is your fault somehow.”

“Whatever you say, chica,” Alejandro said, already moving further up the tunnel. Heather gave him a venomous glare before stomping her way back to the stone statues, leaving Duncan with them.

Duncan sauntered along, dodging the occasional boulder with ease, “So, you guys willing to talk shop?”

“I suppose,” Alejandro grit out. He was definitely annoyed by Noah's earlier insistence on not voting for Owen.

Frankly, Alejandro was being bullheaded. He was allowing his own annoyance with Owen get in the way of constructing a sound gameplan, making up reasons to vote for the big guy. Even if he really did believe that Owen was attempting to manipulate them, which was becoming alarmingly considerable by the second, it was only an attempt to rationalize his own irrationality. If Noah wanted his plan to actually happen he’d have to convince Alejandro to vote for Duncan, though that option was becoming bleak.

“If any of us win immunity tonight,” Duncan continued, unperturbed by Alejandro’s closed off demeanor, “I say we vote for Heather.”

Noah immediately perked up. Anything was better than Owen at this point, “I’m down.”

“I’m not,” Alejandro quickened his pace, “Amigos, we should vote for Owen tonight. There is no possible way he’s winning this challenge and he’s been a problem the entire season; let’s just remove the issue at the source.”

Duncan shrugged, saying, “I’d vote for him. Ever since the last challenge he’s become a total bummer, always muttering and apologizing. It got so bad I had to resort to Heather.”

“Is that really a good reason to vote someone out?” Noah asked.

“It is for me. I’ve voted people out for stupider reasons. This one time in Island—” Duncan’s sentence was muffled when they ducked into separate cracks to avoid another boulder.

Within the darkness Alejandro sent him a very pointed look, whispering, “That’s two votes for Owen, and I can definitely get Heather in on it. Do you want to vote with us or not?”

“I don’t want to vote for Owen, Alejandro.”

“Why not?”

“I told you why not. But you won’t listen.”

“Because you’re blinded by his supposed innocence.”

“I wasn't blinded by yours, was I? Why would I suddenly fall for Owen’s theoretical manipulations?”

Alejandro took a moment to respond, fuming, “He’s been too nice to you since you arrived. That has to be some sort of tactic!”

“Not everything is a tactic, especially for someone like Owen. He’s as intelligent as a bag of rocks.”

“It is! I’m sorry you are blinded by stupidity, mi amigo. I thought we were on the same intelligence level.”

Noah took a step back, pressing himself further into the sharp rock, “Why are you even so insistent? Are you fucking jealous I have other alliances?”

The boulder had long passed and Duncan was standing just behind them, a mix of utter shock and glee. Instead of continuing down the path, he had stayed to watch them argue.

Alejandro sputtered at the accusation, grabbing onto the front of Noah’s red vest, “Do not start pushing your feelings onto me, Noah. I should be asking if you’re jealous of Heather.”

Noah thinks back to that warm wanting and slick jealousy in the savannah, enraged that Alejandro would bring it up in this petty argument. They had agreed to keep it between them, the almost-kiss and the abrupt talk about Noah’s family.

It was Noah’s turn to grab onto Alejandro’s collar, pulling him almost as close as they were in the Serengeti, “Yeah? And you’re finally admitting you and her have something going on? How would she like it if she knew you were your family’s fuck up?”

“Maldita perra,” Alejandro spit out, “How would your mother feel knowing what a selfish, greedy shit you are? Do you think your father would still love you?”

“How dare you.”

“Quid pro quo, Noah.”

“I can’t believe this is because I won’t vote for Owen. You’re being fucking ridiculous!”

“Why don’t you just run away? You’re good at that, no?”

Noah pushed Alejandro and mentally searched for the most scathing remark he could muster. At some point, one of them had crossed a line of no return. It was objectively a stupid argument but Alejandro was refusing to see logic and Noah refused to concede and vote out Owen, who had done nothing.

Keeping Owen in until the finale would guarantee an easy elimination, something Noah thought Alejandro would understand. The guy was hardly even that annoying, if anything he was bordering on one of the only genuine acquaintanceships Noah had gained as a contestant.

Feeling frustrated and, quite frankly, like his trust had been betrayed, Noah said, “Well, Al, I—”

“As entertaining as this has been, I think we should get going now,” Duncan interrupted, pulling Alejandro from their crevice in the wall and into the open cave. In the distance there was screaming and loud bird-like cawing.

“What?” Alejandro snapped.

“Dude, look!” Duncan pointed down the tunnel to two rapidly approaching figures.

Heather was sprinting a few feet in front of Owen, shouting at them to move. Not even ten yards behind them was a ginormous bird, spanning the width of the tunnel. Without further questions, all three of the boys took off down the cavern.

The running from inevitable death was a good way to cool off from their argument, but Noah still felt the familiar lick of anger in his gut. He almost wanted to purposefully fall and smash Alejandro’s eggs, though he was more afraid of dying to a giant bird than getting revenge.

Alejandro seemed to be in a similar state of frustration, gritting his teeth while he ran. Noah doubted it was from exhaustion, as he was the most physically fit competitor in the competition and was also pointedly bumping Noah with his shoulder every few meters.

Eventually, Owen came running behind them followed by Heather. At the sight of an obviously pissed off Alejandro he flinched and tried to duck out of his view, to very little success. At the sight of the blonde, Alejandro ran faster, his feet harshly hitting the ground with every step.

He had pulled ahead of the group, Noah falling rapidly behind as his lack of muscle crept up on him, and was the first to see the end of the tunnel. Alejandro sped up further.

Heather saw him heading towards the opening and also sped up, though it might have been partly due to the bird closing in on them. By the time the mouth of the cave was within 20 feet of them, Noah felt the bird nipping at the back of his shirt.

Just as it managed to nab a piece of his vest, Owen scooped him up, “Not my little buddy!”

Noah was splayed princess style in Owen’s arms, a puddle of sweat from the overexercise. They crossed the threshold, joining the others in begging Chris to close the tunnel. A large rock was being held by Chef, probably the next boulder they wanted to throw at them, and was just large enough to block the bird from attacking them.

“Close it!”

“Hurry!”

“My god, just close it!” Noah shouted.

Chef pushed the rock, effectively closing off the cave just before the bird escaped. A loud squawk was heard from within, a few feathers sticking between the cracks.

“Oh, man! So close. Way to ruin the fun…” Chris huffed, “We may as well move on to the next challenge.”

Noah groaned, “You’re a fucking sociopath.”

“What crawled up your butt and died? Have some fun, loosen up!” Chris pulled a catcher’s mask from God-knows-where and tossed it to Alejandro, “Since Alejandro was the first one out, he gets this cool mask.”

“I have to play… baseball?” Alejandro asked, holding the mask suspiciously.

“Thankfully, no. You must climb this rock pillar all the way up to a giant Condor nest! You already know they can get pretty crabby but did you know female Condors are even bigger than the dude birds?”

The giant tower of gray rock shot harshly up towards the sun, a precarious nest of twigs atop it. A humongous bird was perched in the nest, bigger than the one in the cave, glaring down at them.

“It’s ginormous!” Owen shrieked.

“Yup, twelve foot wingspan,” Chris said proudly.

“That’s like… twelve sandwiches…” Owen said before floundering, “That I bought with my own money that wasn’t given to me by the network!”

“Okay… Well, you see, she’s kinda peeved because you guys stole her eggs.”

“Us?” Duncan sneered, “You’re evil, Chris.”

“So now you have to try and shimmy up to the nest to give them back in the order in which you arrived here. Of course, mama’s got a whole lot more eggs up there so she’s bound to be a tad protective.”

As though triggered by Chris’ words the bird shrieked loudly, causing everyone to try and cover their ears. Alejandro was the first to look up, catching Noah’s eye and glaring.

“Gracias, Chris,” Alejandro snapped back into his charming persona, completely avoiding looking at Noah. He pulled the mask over his face, “The giant Condor is known to peck the eyeballs of predators.”

“But I like my eyes!” Heather complained.

“As do I.” Alejandro replied. As he made the comment, he glanced at Noah slyly. Noah glared back as he continued, “Especially when they’re shooting daggers.”

Heather shot him a dirty look, but Alejandro didn’t see it as he and Noah were busy exchanging glares. Realizing that the silence had gone on too long, Alejandro quickly turned back to Heather.

Flirtily, he said, “Yes, like that.”

Chris continued, ignoring the contestants’ banter, “Deposit all the eggs and you win. And if nobody makes it, we’ll try it again! It’s gonna be that much fun.”

Since Alejandro was the first to arrive, he stepped up to the pillar.

“Your eggs?” Chris questioned.

He turned to Noah slowly, reluctantly holding his hands out for the eggs in Noah’s pockets. As mad as he was, Noah didn’t want to completely cut off their alliance since Alejandro had yet to cut it off. Maybe, at some point in between the challenge and voting, Noah could convince him that Duncan was the right choice.

So, just as reluctantly, Noah handed over the three blue eggs in his pocket. Without so much as a thank you, Alejandro strutted back to the pillar.

“And one more thing!” Chris interrupted.

Noah groaned, “My God, what else?”

“It’s for your own protection. Keeps the birds calm…” The familiar chime of a forced song rang, “I’m lying. Or I’m not. You choose!”

Alejandro took the song in stride, tapping his foot to an imaginary beat as the Condor screeched overhead, “I’m tall, I’m tan, I’m young, I’m handsome. I’m coming back to bring back your wee ones so hush my sweet Condor.”

He began the climb up, hoisting himself easley up the steep rock until he was at the lip of the nest, “Let me win this one please. So try— attack me, but I won protection.”

The Condor aggressively reared its head and pecked Alejandro’s catcher’s mask. The clinking was loud but Alejandro sang over it, “I don’t feel that pecking so save your objections…”

Carefully, Alejandro began to place the eggs in the nest while the Condor attacked him, “Hush now, Condor. Let me in the final four!”

He readied himself to place the third egg when the Condor changed tactics, hitting him off with its large wing. Alejandro screamed shortly before landing on the floor with a loud thud.

“Aw, no!” He groaned. As he tried to stand his egg finally hit the ground too, splattering itself across his chest and face.

“Next!” Chris said.

Owen began to slowly climb up the tower, “I, oh, I’ve got problems with Condors. Problems with Condors.”

He was visibly sweating on his way up, anxiously scrambling while trying to cling on for dear life. He sang while balancing his eggs, “Why, oh, why am I not at home? I ponder…”

When he finally reached the top he managed to slip one of his eggs into the nest, “Trust me! Oh, trust me! I’m your best friend,” he snuck another one in, “And I’ll never eat eggs again!”

The bird, obviously irritated, slapped him off the tower just like Alejandro. He fell and landed face down, screaming about his egg. However, the egg that followed nestled itself safely on his back.

“Good news, you get another chance later!” Chris exclaimed, “But, first…” He gestured to a disgruntled Duncan.

Duncan took his turn proudly, though he seemed to resent the singing, “I’m a hardened criminal so don’t be givin’ me flack.”

He was purposefully monotone, focusing on climbing and holding his eggs. As he continued his verse, Owen turned to Noah.

“Buddy, I don’t think our plan worked…”

Noah snapped out of the angry stupor he had found himself in. He had mostly been ignoring the other contestants' turns to try and find a solution to Alejandro’s emotional problem. So far, he hadn’t come up with much, “Huh?”

“Well, even though I’ve been voting with you and Al I think he still hates me!” Owen worriedly bit his nails. He whispered loud enough that Alejandro, who was a few feet away, could probably hear them, “He’s been giving me some serious glares today!”

Noah knew the best solution was to be honest, but he wasn’t exactly great at it. So, instead of telling Owen that Alejandro hated him and wanted to vote him off—and would likely succeed—he said, “He’s just a little upset with your chatter. You do know you don't have to apologize for the deals, right? He doesn’t actually know about them.”

“I know! I just feel so guilty about it and stuff and the words just start to come out even if I don’t want them to… What should I do?”

This was the perfect opportunity to get Owen on Alejandro’s good side, “I’d say offer an alliance with him. And stop calling him Al. But that’s for totally unrelated reasons.”

He seemed to consider Noah’s suggestion, even if it was the most obvious solution possible. Owen nodded, “Yeah, that sounds good… Thanks, Buddy! I’ll go chat with Al, A.S.A.P!”

“Wait, I just said not to call him—”

Noah was cut off by Duncan falling from the nest, spitting feathers from his mouth angrily. His egg was clutched in his hands, cracked but not destroyed.

“You also get a second chance!” Chris said, “Heather?”

Heather was already at the base of the rock pillar, skillfully scaling the column, “How I— How I really hate these birdies. And I wanna live to see my thirties.”

Once she reached the nest, the bird seemed annoyed but reluctant to knock her off like the others. It was sitting on the other side of its nest, cooing at a freshly hatched egg that had a little Condor poking its head out.

Heather slid her eggs beneath its tail feathers, “These, these feathered jerks! They’re bringing me strife.”

Her final red egg was placed in the nest causing her to cheer, “And now you’ve saved my life! Thank you my sweet Condor, now I’m in the final four!”

Triumphantly, she climbed back down the stone pillar to face Chris. He congratulatory patted her on the back, “Heather takes the win! However, Noah hasn’t taken his turn yet… Get up there, Noah!”

Noah looked Chris up and down, “No.”

“Uh… not an option. Get on that pillar, man.”

Poorly feigning clumsiness, Noah pulled his eggs from his pocket and dropped one. Chris stared at him in disappointment while the yolk seeped into the grass.

“Really?”

“Even if I went up there and planted all my eggs it wouldn’t have mattered, would it? Heather already won.”

Chris sighed, “You can’t even play into one of my tricks? Not one?”

“Touchy?” Noah asked sarcastically. Chris would’ve loved to watch him struggle up to the nest only to get knocked down instantly. Really he was just ruining Chris’ fun, saving himself from embarrassment was a bonus.

“Moving on,” Chris redirected the conversation, “That concludes today’s challenge, leaving Heather as our victor! Hurry up and get on the plane before anyone notices we’re here. I did not rent out the island.”

Rushed by the various interns and crew members, the contestants were packed into the plane for take off. Noah sat on one of the benches in economy class to think before he actually attempted any sort of confrontation. The other shuffled around the cabin or migrated towards the bathroom to prepare for voting.

He glared out of the window, watching clouds pass by as he thought. Alejandro was being unreasonably difficult. Noah wanted to convince him to vote for Owen but what he had said earlier about his family life had cut deep. Noah had made a similar comment but he didn’t know if it warranted such a vicious comment…

Okay, it definitely did.

Both of them had crossed a serious boundary in their petty argument by bringing up private information shared between them. Knowing Alejandro, he would be relying on Noah to apologize first to reconcile their companionship. Though he was probably expecting Noah to submit to his whims and vote for Owen, which was not happening.

Perhaps, he could convince Alejandro to vote for Duncan and salvage their alliance from its earlier verbal massacre. He had given Alejandro his eggs without issue, so maybe he still remained in his good graces.

Most of Noah’s plans were reliant on Alejandro’s cooperation. His vision for the last few episodes included Alejandro and he refused to give up what he wanted.

God, he really sounded like a corrupt producer; like Chris.

He was snapped out of his stupor by Alejandro entering economy class. The few stragglers in the cabin had dissipated, leaving them alone.

Alejandro refused to acknowledge Noah, instead choosing to pointedly stare at the very broken wall beside him.

“Alejandro,” Noah said, standing and approaching him by the door to the hall, “We should talk.”

He crossed his arms, still avoiding eye contact, “Really? I thought we had said everything that needed to be said.”

Noah sighed, “I’m really sorry about what I said. It was totally out of line.”

“You seem to be unable to control your actions as of late, Noah. I expect better of someone like you.”

He was a little taken aback by Alejandro’s apparent high opinion of him. Noah thought he was just a potential pawn that had turned into a friend, or whatever the equivalent of a friend was on reality television. The earlier spat must have hurt more than he originally thought.

Noah grabbed Alejandro’s shoulder, finally forcing him to make eye contact, “I was a dickhead. Using what you told me against you was wrong and I’m sorry. Let’s just get over it and move on.”

Alejandro seemed touched but skeptical, “And you’ll vote Owen?” In the few seconds Noah hesitated to answer, Alejandro gained his answer. He snarled, “You can’t come and apologize only to fight with me once again, Noah.”

“I’m apologizing for what I said about your family, not for wanting to vote Duncan. Look, we just need to focus on reason and not emotions. Voting for Owen is nonsensical!”

Alejandro shrugged Noah’s hand from his shoulder, “The idea may have stemmed from emotion, but it has logistic reasoning. I’m sorry you are so blinded by that oaf’s manipulations that you cannot see the bigger picture.”

“It isn’t like you to totally ignore logic. Alejandro, you need to cool off and actually think.”

“I’m not ignoring logic! And you don’t know what’s like me and what’s not. You don’t know me.”

“You’re the one who poured his heart out in the cargo hold. I think I know you plenty well now.”

Alejandro’s eyes hardened, “And what about the Serengeti? I think I know you pretty well.”

“If you know me so well then you know I’m not being irrational.”

“Do I know you? You’ve known me for months, stalking me behind some cameras. Maybe you lied about your past because you knew I’d fall for it.”

Noah’s face contorted to one of abject disgust, “Are you serious? You think I lied?”

Alejandro looked uneasy for a moment, clearly a little caught off guard by his own accusations, before returning to his angry expression, “Maybe. For all I know, you have all the money you could want just because you lick Chris’s culo. The second you showed up here you orchestrated Sierra, Courtney, and Cody’s eliminations; all of them inessential to the ‘story’ Chris wants.”

“That—” Noah was shocked by Alejandro’s intuitiveness to understand that Chris was trying to create a story and that he was one of the essential pawns. He doesn’t try to defend himself against the partially true comments, “I was honest with you in the Serengeti.”

“Sure,”Alejandro gestured wildly, allowing his emotions to come over him, “And I’m sure now you’re being honest about your motives to keep Owen.”

“I am! I’m trying to be strategic, something you’ve completely forgotten apparently. Think about how easy it’d be to beat him in the final three. Owen’s uselessness can be useful!”

“If Owen was useful for one thing, it was showing what a snake you are, cascabel. You cannot be both strategic and totally honest.”

“I’ve been totally honest with you,” Noah said. He knew there was no saving their tattered alliance at this point, but he at least wanted to salvage their tentative friendship.

Alejandro looked hurt, “I doubt that.”

They sat in silence for a moment, alone in the center of the large economy cabin. Neither of them moved, standing less than a foot apart but still refraining from touching each other.

Noah broke the silence, “I’m voting for Duncan. If you’re against me, you can consider this alliance null.”

“Okay,” Alejandro appeared empty of emotion, keeping his mouth in a hard straight line, “Then it’s null.”

“Okay,” Noah said. He brushed past Alejandro and out into the hall containing the bathroom.

Heather was waiting by the bathroom door impatiently, picking at her fingernails in boredom, “Nice attempt at the challenge. Made you seem real brave.”

Noah sighed and leaned against the wall next to her, waiting for his turn to vote, “I don’t wanna hear your shit right now, Heather.”

“Sheesh, what’s your problem?”

“Everything,” He groaned. They were silent for a moment, the only sound Owen muttering in the toilet. Noah tried to think about a way to salvage this whole mess in the brief quiet.

Alejandro and Duncan were out as voters, obviously, but Heather might still be up in the air. Hopefully, Alejandro had yet to speak to her after the challenge and he could whip up a quick lie to save his plan.

“So,” Noah began, “Alejandro tell you we’re voting for Duncan yet?”

She raised an eyebrow, “No, he hasn’t.”

“Well, we are. Duncan’s the biggest threat outside of our alliance, so getting rid of him basically guarantees our spots.”

“Yeah…” She responded, “And can you tell me why Alejandro told me to vote for Owen?”

Noah gaped like a fish for a moment. Damn Alejandro for being on top of his alliances.

Heather laughed, “It’s crazy how fast your alliance fell apart. Just this morning you doubted him turning on you! Shit, this is the funniest thing to happen yet.”

“I can admit I was wrong about him,” Noah gritted out, “But we still deserve the money the most. Vote with me today and Alejandro is next.”

“As if I’d give my vote to a nepo baby ass-kisser like you. The only person who deserves the money is me. I bet you weren’t even gonna get me a paycheck from Chris, were you?”

“I was.”

“Yeah, okay, and Alejandro is still in an alliance with you,” Heather rolled her eyes. Duncan sauntered out of the stall at that moment, side-eyeing the pair as he made his way back to economy class. Heather quickly took his place in the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

She was fast, coming out soon after she entered with a smug look on her face. Noah glared back, entering the stall. He briskly, and maybe a bit aggressively, stamped Duncan’s passport.

He stared into the black camera lens and seethed, “So the plan isn’t really going accordingly. That’s okay. Cool, even. If Owen goes home tonight I’m fresh out of alliances. But that’s okay because I know I can convince Heather to vote against Alejandro; even if she hates me, she hates him more. Duncan is iffy, but I’m sure with my and Heather’s persuasion he’ll vote Alejandro too.”

Noah held his head in his hands for a moment. Truly, he didn’t want to vote Alejandro off. He deserved a final chance at the million above the others, even if he’s a massive asshole.

“Or I can convince Heather to vote Duncan. Or Duncan to vote Heather. Unless, of course, Alejandro decides to vote for me. Which is very plausible,” Noah glared into the camera, “Either way, I won’t get eliminated. Sure, Alejandro deserves the money, but so do I.”

He hurried out of the bathroom. Somehow, talking into the camera heightened his emotions and he really did not want Chris airing that on national television.

Speaking of the devil, Chris sounded over the intercom to call them all to the voting room. Noah purposefully shuffled through the dingy hallway into the room, hoping he wouldn’t run into anyone. Even seeing Owen would only worsen his mood, as he knew the big guy was going home tonight.

Chris was getting primed for the camera when he entered, the contestants blandly watching from the benches. Everyone was there besides him, his plan of arriving late working just as he hoped. Alejandro was isolated in the farthest corner of the stands, purposefully turning his nose from the door at Noah’s arrival.

Owen waved him over and Noah guiltily took a seat next to him.

Matthew coughed loudly to remind Chris that he actually needed to start the show, sending the makeup crew scattering. Instantly, Chris entered host mode and shuffled through the passports in his hand.

He hummed in interest, “The first person to be nominated for the drop of shame is… Duncan!”

Duncan’s face was unimpressed, glancing over to Noah in suspicion. Chris continued, “Next vote; Owen. And the next vote; Owen. Another vote; Duncan.”

Owen gasped beside him, nervously biting his thumb nail as Chris contemplated the final passport, “And the final vote says that this week’s loser is… Owen.”

He turned to look at Noah in shock. When Noah returned his gaze, he saw Alejandro smirking out of the corner of his eye. Another flame of anger ignited in his stomach, matching the licks of rage from earlier.

Owen pulled him into a very dramatic hug, wailing.

Chris cringed at Noah’s suffocation, “Okay man, let’s help get you off the plane…”

A parachute was shoved into Owen’s hands as he was brought towards the open hatch in the plane. He stood with his back to the opening and addressed the few remaining contestants, “I’m really sorry about all the stuff on Island and Action! I know it’s probably why you voted me off and I feel real bad about it, I swear! I should’ve never accepted the money!”

“What is he talking about?” Alejandro asked, shooting a look at Chris.

Owen ignored Alejandro, continuing his misguided speech, “Noah was just so convincing and I really wanted the money and I’m sorry that I took advantage of the situation and everything, really, and—”

“That’s enough,” Chris said, nudging him out of the doorway. Owen screamed as he fell, still pleading with the contestants to forgive him.

Heather had her arms crossed in her seat with her brows furrowed, “I have some questions.”

“Moving quickly on! Heather, who are you bringing to first class?”

“Alejandro,” She responded quickly, almost unthinkingly, “What was that? What did he mean?”

“Interesting choice,” Alejandro said.

“Do not get any ideas. You were just the closest to me.”

He smiled flirtatiously, “If you insist.”

Noah frowned, making a grossed out face. He was already in a piss poor mood from Owen’s elimination, he didn’t need Alejandro showboating. Especially when the showboating was entirely too enticing for such an annoying slippery eel.

“You’re all dismissed to your respective classes!” Chris said, “Except you, Noah. Stay here.”

Duncan and Alejandro left the room fairly quickly, both of them shooting suspicious glances his way.

Heather was the last to leave, sneering, “You’re making this a habit, cheater,” on her way out.

Once the room was empty of contestants, only leaving them with some straggling crew members, Chris grabbed hold of his shoulder, “What the fuck is going on right now?”

Noah shrugged his shoulders in defiance, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Well, the other day you and Alejandro were mackin’ it in the savannah and now you hate each other. Then Owen starts spewing a bunch of shit about his deals, which is a direct violation of his NDA,” Chris pursed his lips. “I sent you here to increase tension but this is a little over the top.”

“Are you joking? Nothing’s ever over the top for you.”

“What…?” Noah gave him a disbelieving look, “Okay, you’re right. I’m loving it. The viewers are going to love it!”

Noah inhaled sharply, trying to suppress some of his anger. It was in Chris’ nature to seek out drama and Noah was just starting to realize how violating it was to be on the other end of that search.

Chris continued, “So, what happened with Owen?”

“I might have told him that people would hate him if they knew he made deals with the network. It got out of hand from there.”

“Great. I mean, it won’t be that shocking, will it? We can leave that in for the final cut,” Chris considered it, “I’ll talk to the lawyers.”

Chirs muttered to himself for a bit before Noah broke the silence with his long awaited question, “Are you going to air everything?”

“Almost everything,” He seemed to drop his extravagant persona and appeared genuinely sympathetic, “Specifics about your family will be cut. It’ll just mostly be you trying and failing to hit on Alejandro.”

“Thanks. That makes me feel so much better,” Noah said sarcastically.

“You’ll be fine, champ. You’re getting reimbursed for your embarrassment,” Chris patted him on the back enthusiastically. “Now go get ‘em! Keep this new rivalry with Alejandro going, makes for good drama!”

Noah was already heading towards the door as Chris continued to shout, ignoring him.

“You’re like the new Gwen to the Courtney and Duncan story! Awesome television!”

He pulled the door open and stepped into the hallway. He was instantly greeted by an angry Heather.

“You’ve made deals with other contestants?”

Noah was pinned back against the door, Heather holding a well manicured finger in his face. He held his hands up like he was at knifepoint, “I can’t tell you that. NDA, remember?”

She looked him up and down disapprovingly, “That’s really all the answer I needed. You are the worst liar I’ve ever met.”

“Really? Tell that to Alejandro, won’t you? He seems convinced I’m quite good.”

“God, you’re obsessed.”

Noah rolled his eyes, “And you’re not? You two are worse than Duncan and Courtney during Island.”

Heather laughed, “You are too funny. You think you know everything but you really don’t. Being Chris’ lapdog doesn’t have many benefits, I guess.”

“Has hell of a lot more benefits than being an evil bitch. Do you even get healthcare?”

She easily brushed him off, turning and heading into first class. Today was a series of confrontations that he did not want to be having.

He made his way to the economy cabin, hoping Duncan was busy scratching more penises into the stall door of the bathroom so he could be alone. Unfortunately, the universe was out to get him.

Duncan was splayed across one of the benches lining the walls, balancing his pocket knife in his hand. Noah sighed at his presence and sat on the opposite bench, leaning his head against the wall and closing his eyes.

“How’s the break-up treating you?” Duncan asked sarcastically, “Homewreckers suck. I get it.”

He cracked his eyes open to glower in Duncan’s direction, “Break-up?”

“You and Alejandro are officially over, it seems. I know you voted for me tonight and Alejandro didn’t, so…” He shrugged, “Wait, would Owen or Heather be the homewrecker in this situation? Which one made you guys quit it?”

“There’s no homewrecker if there’s no home to wreck.”

Duncan smirked, “You three are even worse than me, Courtney, and Gwen. At least we knew we all liked each other.”

“The last thing I want to be like is any of you three. When you get voted off you have a lot of shit to deal with regarding those two.”

“When? Not if?”

Noah closed his eyes again, “I’m manifesting.”

Duncan grunted, “Good luck. I doubt the universe can save you during the next elimination.”

His shoulders tensed; he didn’t answer, lamely feigning sleep. Noah doubted Duncan believed it but he stopped talking either way, so it was a small victory in his book.

Sitting in the quiet of the cabin, Noah felt a gnawing dread fill his stomach. The flames of anger were still there but the apprehension for his eventual elimination overshadowed it. Duncan was confident that Alejandro was out to get him during the next vote and Noah was inclined to believe him.

Honestly, if Noah had the voting power, he’d be going after Alejandro too.

For now, he had to focus on the next challenge and dragging himself into the final three. As long as he won, the elimination wouldn’t matter. Noah doubted Heather or Alejandro could muster up the courage to vote for the other—due to their constant bickering companionship—and would vote for Duncan. He could admit he’d have less of a chance of beating Alejandro or Heather, but he had overcome harsher odds.

Yeah. He had this all planned out.