Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

AUGUST 9, 2022

Mario was a bit nervous. Welcoming in a bunch of new talent was the humdrum of the Smash Mansion, but they weren’t worlds he’d expected. Also he never really took in such a huge amount at one time. But it was a kind gesture to them. They were going to be shown the ropes, and after not seeing this happen for a while, it was great to give the new guys the rub.

Rushing up to the window, Master Hand saw the huge group and snapped his fingers, causing a loud and crackly sound to emanate throughout the mansion. All of a sudden, those who were sleeping soundly in their beds woke up and ran to the front door. Meggy did the honors of opening the door for them.

The newcomers were surprised as the moment they went through the door they felt some kind of tingling feeling, only for that to make them feel slightly heavier for some reason. “Hey, uh, did anyone else feel that?” Danny noticed. If anyone did, they didn’t really want to talk about it.

“Hey! Welcome! This is the Smash Mansion! Pretty cool, huh?” Meggy beamed as she pointed to all the fancy decorations.

“I gotta say, you spared no expense on a glorified fightin’ ring, doc.” Bugs Bunny did a small aside.

“Yeah, the mansion isn’t ALL about fighting. Sometimes we just, y’know, hang out. Master Hand says we all have good chemistry or whatever.” Goggles tried to add.

The tour continued as the group saw a smattering of doors spaced out evenly between massive hallways, each door having an illustration of their faces adorning the mahogany frame.

“These are gonna be your rooms for the mansion,” Pit said a tad nervously. “I-I know that it seems that they’re small, but trust me, they’re a lot bigger on the inside. And each of them fit your needs and your homes as well! As close as Master Hand and Crazy Hand can make it.”

“You’re tellin’ us there’s ANOTHER giant talking hand here?” Cat spat.

“Yep! Hello there, you freak of nature!” Another giant glove careened over in an erratic manner. “How are things going? Oh! Is anything on FIRE yet?!”

“No, no. Our new guests need the best impression, so uh, can you take your signature brand of ‘Crazy’ somewhere else?” Snake asked the thing.

“HA! HA HA HA! OK. I guess I’ll wait above you!” Crazy Hand zoomed upwards and broke a bit of the roof.

“Yeah, he’s usually like this…” Marth cringed.

Wii Fit Trainer was there to exemplify the training rooms next. “Hello, everyone! These are the training rooms. For those who want to get their fighting spirits up, or want to practice on getting better at beating others.”

A sandbag started to hop towards them. “Oh! There you are, Sandbag. This eager creature loves being the target of all your aggression. So why doesn’t one of you let out everything?”

“Yes! Something that ZIM can do best! Now, COWER IN FEAR, Earth creatures!” Zim unloaded a bunch of ammunition and precise strikes onto the Sandbag. You’d typically think that such an attack would lead to some kind of… you know? Anger? Sadness? Dread? No, the Sandbag actually started blushing and hopping around.

“You! Human filth! What kind of material is this specimen made of?” The Wii Fit Trainer responded.

“I… I don’t know. No one knows, actually.”

“Let’s move on before we all get weirded out, OK?” Sonic blurted out, breaking the awkward silence.

“Agreed,” Batman concurred with him.

“Over here is da kitchen! This is where all that’s savory, sour and sweet gets made! I always love this part,” King Dedede salivated as he saw Chef Kawasaki make food. Well, it certainly looked like food, smelled like it too. But it was a flat image of food.

“Since our trophy forms can’t eat, this food is magical. It only gives the illusion of eating without any nutritional benefits,” Samus said.

“Way to ruin da magic, Sam,” Dedede scoffed.

“Wait a minute. What do you mean ‘trophy forms’?” quizzically asked Wonder Woman.

“Isabelle, looks like we gotta explain this whole thing again,” Luigi informed the tiny dog person next to her.

Isabelle went and brought out some glowing ball in her hand. “Years ago, the world in which the mansion is in had some kind of cosmic reset. So, now there are THESE things.” Some of the crowd oohed and aahed at the ball moving around.

“This is a Spirit, the very culmination of your being!”

“Touch.” Patrick somehow morphed a finger and touched it.

“Hee hee hee! That tickles!”

“WOAH! Your little ball thingy talks!”

“Spirits are what keep this world’s inhabitants alive. Trophies are their vessels,” Roy explained. “You may have noticed that when you entered the front door, but you all felt a little… ‘heavy’, right?”

“Finally! I thought no one else would bring that up,” Finn mentioned, Danny slightly annoyed at this.

“Your typical body is switched in for a trophy, where your Spirit is sent into. This is so no real harm can come to you,” Master Hand added in with his exposition.

“But hey, you can still feel the hurt!” Bowser Jr. yelled, slamming a hammer onto Rick’s feet.

“$#%&!” Rick screamed, but he was surprised to see his profane words censored. “What the %#*@ is happening here? You-you and your Hamburger Helper looking-@$# is completely (BEEELCH) ruining my trademark humor! H-How do you live with this $#%&?!”

“Now, now, Sanchez, we don’t use any of that FOUL LANGUAGE around here,” Master Hand boomed. “The Smash Mansion is a place to be enjoyed by good little boys and girls of ALL ages. ANYTHING can happen in this magical place… except for swearing.”

Rick responded by throwing out every curse word in the book, even some that only sailors used. SpongeBob and Patrick seemed to recognize some of them. Luigi wanted out of this situation immediately. “C-can we just move on from this? Mario, take them to the next spot.”

Mario then gestured the guests into a giant locked room with various “DO NOT ENTER” signs adorned across it.

“Oh yeah, this room. I gotta warn you, what you’re about to see… well, it ain’t pretty.” Using a giant key, Mario cautiously unlocked the door. All of a sudden, the new guests started to peer into an endless darkness, something that was blacker than night, and most other black things really. However as soon as their eyes were getting used to it, a blinding light erupted out of nowhere. Some recoiled as bad as a basement dweller cringing at the morning sun through his window.

Trust me, I have plenty of experience with that.

Wincing, the newcomers went into the large room. There, two giant orbs were busy clashing against each other, one with angelic wings surrounding it and another with rough, spiked tentacles circling it.

“FOOLISH, SIMPLE CREATURE. YOU WERE TRESPASSING IN MY DOMAIN, AND YET YOU STILL REMAIN IGNORANT OF MY DEFENSES,” the angel orb boomed with a mighty voice.

“HOLD YOUR INSIPID TONGUE BEFORE I RIP IT FROM YOU, PITIFUL INSECT,” the other orb growled with malice.

“Galeem! Dharkon! Good to see you’re getting along as usual,” Dark Pit snarked as he turned his back to them.

“DO NOT INSULT ME WITH YOUR VINDICTIVE WORDS,” the angelic one grumbled.

“Um… who are these guys?” Korra questioned, noticing that they seemed oddly familiar.

“Remember what Isabelle talked about? That public reset thing? These guys loved doing that. Galeem, he’s that big ball with wings, he killed us very painfully.”

“Really?”

“We got better,” Sonic nonchalantly responded, “and besides, he totally copied that purple guy’s homework.”

“IT’S A SHAME MY WRETCHED BROTHER WAS SUCH AN IDIOT TO NOT TAKE OUR ‘BELOVED’ NEPHEW INTO ACCOUNT.” Dharkon pointed one of his spiked tentacle things to Kirby.

“Wait a minute… so you’re telling me THAT THING and this cute li’l cream puff are related?” Harley questioned.

“When we successfully defeated Void Termina’s true form, we realized how much the thing startlingly resembled Kirby,” Meta Knight exposited. “However, apparently that battle was enough to get the attention of these two creatures.”

“OUR BROTHER FLEW TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN, IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE BURNED,” Galeem bellowed as his wings curled up into a needle that stabbed Dharkon’s being.

“ SAYS THE ILLUMINATED IGNORAMUS THAT FOLLOWED IN HIS FOOTSTEPS…” grumbled Dharkon as his tentacles formed a hammer that smacked Galeem’s being around.

“Like, I don’t want to be rude, but are these guys always trying to kill each other?” Shaggy asked.

“Well yes, that’s how they usually act towards each other. Anything to not let them kill everyone else in this mansion…” Samus snarked. “But I don’t want to end this visit on such a harrowing note, and you likely don’t either.”

“Sigh… and I wanted to feel existential today,” Lucy said.

“Oh, you’ll feel something like that at our final stop.” Rosalina forewarned, as the new guests were led to the lowest depths of the mansion, the basement. Many of the newcomers stood in awe looking up, seeing a glowing pillar of flame shifting colors and lighting up the dark caverns that were the basement’s walls.

Zelda started to explain this anomaly. “This is the Fountain. It’s what keeps the Spirits alive and the world from falling apart.” The crowd was awestruck at this phenomenon. “If the fountain ever flickers out, well, then we’re stuck in a lifeless, conscious-less state.”

“Thanks for reminding everyone about that, as if we didn’t just live it ourselves,” Leonardo snapped a bit.

“As long as this fountain stays flowing, nothing like this will happen,” clarified Mario, “so that’s that.”

As the new guests were starting to head into their rooms, Master Hand teleported behind them. “One more thing, my wonderful subjects.”

Many turned their heads around. “I know many of you may be worried about your duties, you know, saving the world and all that.”

“Don’t forget taking OVER the world!” Zim screeched.

“Or eating a bunch of lasagna…” Garfield thought to himself, and somehow it seemed the giant hand was able to listen.

“Anyways, just want to let you know that time in this realm works a little differently. What could be days here are just mere minutes in your reality. If you decide to go back, and I’m sure many of you would, know that it’ll be like you never left.”

“Thanks for clearing that up, Master Hand,” Superman responded.

“Now, I’m sure you’re all ready to see the rooms. And maybe you want to start fighting each other. Either way, it’s fine by me.”

“OK, Mr. Hand. I’m sure we’ll have a lot of fun together!”

Mario looked around. “Wait a minute. Isn’t Sora supposed to be here? And that weird dog thing?”

Meanwhile, Sora and his newfound friends were stumbling across an abandoned mental facility.

“Pibby, these things aren’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer! Not even if we try to smile at them and act nice!”

“Well, we tried playing nice... guess we have no choice then,” the girl growled, brandishing a sword of her own.

“What are you doing? Trying to struggle? Don’t you want to be FREE with us?” a psychotic zombie-like prisoner screeched.

“I feel like you need to learn something really important,” Pibby said as she threw her sword as Reindog lit it on fire, “you don’t decide what freedom is here.”

The 3 charged as the mad experiments cackled eerily, the battle barely begun. 

Chapter Text

Sora cast Firaga on some of the prisoners, who started to laugh at the pain. Panicking, he slammed his Keyblade against one of them, a sickening “conk” echoing through the halls.

“Hee hee hee… are you not having fun? Open your eyes, child. Your mind is sleeping!”

Pibby grabbed onto a maniac, trying to suppress his breathing. “Yes. YES! You understand, young one. You three are so close to being one of us. A madness grows within your hearts, beautiful madness!”

Reindog nervously rammed his horns into this hollow shell of a human being, wincing as blood started to pour out of the open wounds. With each injury, the damned things kept laughing, enjoying the pain and bloodshed. Sora decided to cast an ice spell, slowing them down.

“I don’t think these things CAN be defeated, Sora! We just have to run!” Sora agreed, and Reindog charged forth as the two held onto his flimsy-looking tail. Surprisingly not ripping it off, they escaped their location, a maximum-security holding cell decrepit and ruined with age. Seems that no one had been in there for a long time - yet still, the signal gained from the Gummi ship fired off sporadically as they beamed down to this place days before.

In the Soviet snow, they were surprised - well, that and scared - that someone else approached them. He was not one of the presumed victims of whatever experiment underwent in those horrid halls, rather a grizzled war veteran with an eyepatch. He looked at Pibby, who touched her patch with a feeling of… comfort? I guess?

“Hello there, Sora.”

“H-how did you…”

“King Mickey… ugh, hate that rat’s ego… uh, Mickey was worried, and uh, well, he sent me over. For some reason that mouse and his friends can’t come visit you.”

“I figured as much…” Sora sulked. It was a miracle that Donald and Goofy were able to meet again with him in the time before their EVO shindig, but that apparently took a lot of magic power to do so. Something like that isn’t easily replicable.

“Anyways, I’ve done this song and dance before, building up teams and uniting powerful heroes - just like yourself. This new force we’ve taken notice of is starting to sink its teeth into other realities. I’m sure you know all about that by now.” Sora and Pibby nodded as Reindog looked at the man. “So, you wanna sign up?”

“Any help is good help.”

“Good on you, kid. We’re glad to welcome you to the Stop Creepypasta Protocol.”

“That’s too much to say, sir,” Pibby asked, “how about we call it something shorter instead? Like…” she darted her eye about as she put one of her hands to her chin, “...SCP?”

“Acronyms? Ha! I like your spunk already!” the man laughed as he welcomed them to his giant helicopter thing.

Now, personally, I would feel this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

AUGUST 13, 2022

Garnet was surprisingly calm in this hodgepodge of chaos and mayhem. The other new faces were naturally trying to make sense of what else this world could offer, and the enthusiasm and hyperactive nature of some of their mansion-mates didn’t help in the matter.

She stopped for a minute as Rocko meekly crept towards her. “Um, excuse me, miss, but I’m, uh, not used to this whole… ‘smashing’ thing these mates are doin’ now.”

“Oh, you’re not used to fighting. Apparently from what I’ve seen not everyone used to be this way. That Villager was fine off planting trees and searching for bugs before he got his invitation.”

“Yeah, that’s all fine and dandy. But I-I’m worried that I won’t stand a chance against anyone.”

Shulk walked by and took pity at the tiny marsupial. “Listen here, mate. A lot o’ yous newcomers aren’t really known for that kind of straight-up brawlin’, but I’m sure you’ll get along fine. So, what are ya known for, lad?”

“Well… I really like… riding jackhammers?”

“Well, there’s a start,” Garnet surmised matter-of-factly, as the wallaby went off to jack it (God, that sounds wrong) in battle.

Shulk started a conversation in the allotted downtime.

“Garnet. We’ve never really talked to each other during that whole EVO thing, y’know, when we were faffing around the casinos an’ all that.”

“I already know you’re going to talk about my Future Vision, Shulk.”

“Yeah, I’m chuffed to have someone who understands, as you can tell.”

“That’s the funny thing about this mansion, it brings a lot of people together in ways you wouldn’t quite expect.” Garnet tilted her glasses to reveal her three eyes. “I feel we also have someone else who wants to join in, wouldn’t you say?”

Pyra and Mythra, who separated themselves to take a breather for a minute. “Oh! Uh, hi there Shulk. I was wondering if you would be able to talk about things.”

“I guess so. Things’ve been quite manic recently and with all this new company, well, it’s hard to keep track.”

“Nah, it isn’t that. I’ve just been feeling… well, not enough lately. These new fighters, they’ve done way better than most of us here. And…”

Mythra butted in for a moment, “that’s just unfair! It sucks!”

Garnet decided to get between the two and try to alleviate their angst.

“Listen, girls. There are many times where you’ll feel undervalued. Where you feel like people don’t see you as a free-thinking being, rather just two flawed halves of a whole. We… I know that very well. It’s taken a long while for many to get used to it.”

“I guess so, Garnet,” Pyra sighed, merging back with Mythra.

“We’re just as good separate as we are together!”

“Well, that’s certainly a conclusion to come to,” the gem replied, meditating some more… only for Rocko to run into her trying to walk Spunky while riding his jackhammer.

“You gettin’ used to this place, Garnet?” Shulk asked.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

Chapter Text

AUGUST 23, 2022

The small pitter-patter of tiny feet were largely unheard as an insignificantly-sized interloper made his entrance. Having snuck through the chimney where security would realistically not be top-notch, the creature slipped through any cracks and crevices known in an effort to get close to his goal. It almost seemed foolproof! Almost. Upon stumbling into one of Olimar’s Pikmin, he was immediately grabbed as more Pikmin huddled around this new creature.

The captain of them didn’t take long to show himself. Observing the strange creature, Olimar audibly took down notes.

“This new creature is odd, with its singular eye and disproportionately large antennae. I worry that its little nubs that seem to be limbs are not enough to grab or fend itself off from any antagonistic forces.” Olimar ordered his Pikmin to throw this creature down. “From what I have researched this might be some newfound cyclopoid subspecies…”

“I’ll show YOU a subspecies!” The creature sprang away from the Pikmin’s grasp and started to run off.

“Well, that was certainly rude. I should warn Master Hand about this organism, as it does not seem to care for a proper greeting.” The spaceman walked away, heading up to HQ (Handquarters, get it?).

The small creature then pressed a button that threw down a mobile computer-like mechanism. “Karen, I am glad to announce that Operation Quick Patch is a resounding success!”

“Sure sounded like it when you were being interrogated by a carrot farmer…” Karen snarked. Whoever made that computer might have regretted programming it with such an attitude sometimes.

“Looks like we’re right here, home to some of the most dangerous criminals and warmongers in the known universe. And with my college-level intellect, I’m sure they can help me steal the Krabby Patty secret formula in no time!” The self-proclaimed genius used his small stature to slip through the door and into the dingy pub that felt out of place in the pristine and usually well-kept mansion.

Years back, a bunch of villainous adversaries were invited to the Smash Mansion, but due to the amount coming in at such a short time, it was decreed by Crazy Hand that they needed their own wretched hive to which their scum and villainy would take root, a hole-in-the-wall (a literal hole in the wall when “construction”, or should I say destruction started) where all the chaotically aligned could have a few non-alcoholic beverages and shoot the breeze with each other.

Anyways, that’s enough worldbuilding for this mansion, wouldn’t you think?

The small green one happened to stumble into the place, and quickly made his presence known. “Felicitations, malefactors!” the surprisingly booming voice announced, “Your new innovatory invertebrate overseer has peregrinated an insurmountable magnitude of fathoms for the commutation of caloric comestibles!”

“Uh… what, are you trying to impress us?” Bowser questioned, gazing down at the small speck doing his best to conduct himself in an intimidating fashion.

“Well… Karen, help me out here!” Karen just backed away into one of the bar’s cramped corners without saying a word.

“I guess I’ll have to bring things down to your level. I’ve heard from that pink bulbous buffoon that there was this mansion filled with such unsavory characters as yourself. And being the franchise restaurant owner that I am, I would like to propose a collaboration.”

“Like I’m going to use my likeness for a kid’s toy, worm.” Wolf growled at this new character.

“Plankton, actually! Get your taxonomy straight!”

Zim, who was busy arguing with Gir during all this going down, perked up his extraterrestrial antennae. “YOU! Planktonic one! I didn’t know you would show your sorry face again. Tell me, are you here to grovel at my feet after LOSING?!”

“Wait a minute, you know this pipsqueak?” asked Bowser Jr.

“We were both fighting for a common goal at first, but him and that pesky human Dib turned against me- I mean our half of the team to pursue domination. Of course they failed, because it’s clear to see that only I was meant to conquer the Earth!”

“Oh yeah, that screeching green kid SpongeBob was with. Honestly I’m glad I forgot about you. But ANYWAYS!” Plankton continued his tired tirade. “Your powers are perfect for me to help steal the Krabby Patty secret formula!”

“Really? That’s what this is about? Stealing some dumb recipe?” Bowser scoffed.

“Well, all you do is steal a princess, so you’re one to talk,” added Sephiroth.

“Well at least that’s a person with important political influence,” Ludwig defended.

The cronies then started arguing about their failures and horrible plans gone astray until a loud “SHUT UP!” was heard from Plankton. “What I ask is simple: are you going to help me steal the formula or not?”

“We’ve thought about it a while,” Shredder responded, “and I think we’ve all come to a unanimous decision…”

Everyone else in the pub turned to Plankton.

“NO!” they screamed before evilly laughing among themselves.

“Well, then I guess I have no choice but to defeat you myself! Karen! Prepare the Fight-O… HUH?” Plankton was picked up by his antenna by Harley Quinn as Bowser Jr. eyed him curiously.

“This little guy outstayed his welcome. We should really let him be the bigger man, huh?”

“Correct,” Bowser Jr. laughed as he brought out a P-Balloon.

“Wait, what are you doing?” The balloon was shoved into his mouth.

“UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT!” Having swallowed the balloon, Plankton swelled up into a giant ball of himself.

“Say guys, how about a little Planktonball to pass the time?” Harley suggested.

Kazuya bared his fists in front of Plankton. “Oh, I shall enjoy this…” Wham! Bam! SMACK! Plankton’s now ballooned form was used as a large, yet somehow floaty ball for the entertainment of everyone in the pub.

“Karen! Do something!” He ordered his computer wife.

“Well you didn’t say WHICH something,” she coyly responded before joining in on the fun.

“I swear it, when I get out of this form, I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU!” His threats fell onto deaf ears as the accomplices continued with their new game.

Chapter Text

SEPTEMBER 8, 2022

Life living in such a big mansion tended to not get that stale, especially with all the fresh new faces coming in as of late, but as the Hands overlooked all the chaos and mayhem, Master Hand decided to ponder to himself as if something was missing.

“Crazy, I feel that we need someone else to join in.”

“Wow! So what are we getting! I’ve heard that there’s a lot of cool and wacky faces somewhere in-”

“No,” Master Hand interrupted sternly, “I have it all figured out. It’s about time we get another pet for the mansion, isn’t it?”

The hand floated outside of the mansion, causing Crazy Hand to scratch his… Well, he didn’t have a head but he scratched the side of his index finger with his thumb to emulate that motion.

“Pet? Hope it’s potty trained!”

KINGSTON FALLS, U.S.A.

Master Hand knew about his next arrival, and decided to go and look for this new face. Turning into a swirling mass that looked humanoid enough, he put on a coat and other articles of clothing, doing his best to hide in plain sight. Knocking upon a door, he decided to gather the attention of a young man.

“Hello there, William.”

“Uh, I wasn’t expecting someone to be here so late.”

“I’ve come to inquire about that little creature you have in your custody,” Master Hand suggested.

“Well, he’s not for sale,” Billy reluctantly snapped back at Master Hand, knowing very well what he was talking about.

“I assure you, Billy, I’m not going to hurt him. I just want to take him somewhere for a little while. A place with other extraordinary people like him.”

Billy considered, but still tried to hesitate. “Are you going to run experiments on him?”

“Nothing of the sort, just wanting to give him somewhere new. It must be tiring being in the same box all the time, after all.”

“OK, but do-”

“Yes, I know the rules around Mogwai. Rest assured, if a problem like that happens again, we can take care of it.” Master Hand clenched his human fist to show off his resolve, and Billy noticed that the action caused his “hand” to glow a bit with power.

“Besides, to you it’ll just be a while. Like he never even left.” Billy slowly handed Master Hand the box, symphonic hums of an animal emanating from within. Slipping the animal inside a letter with a circular wax insignia stamped upon it, he grabbed the box and went on his merry way.

“Now that the players are in place, it’s time to set the stage…” the hand whispered semi-ominously as he put the small creature in the box and snapped his fingers, causing reality to shift.

Pikachu and Reptar were busy being shown in a petting zoo, among many other various members that would qualify as pets or zoo creatures. Peach, Daisy and Zelda then appeared on the scene, gushing over whatever cute animals could show up. As many of them tried to do appealing poses, the attention of some kind of cameraman zoomed in and focused on a box. The box started to open up as a silhouetted figure flew out, the shape out of focus a little. As Ren and Stimpy were busy trying to make their best puppy-dog eyes, the princesses started to take a liking to their new fuzzy friend. Ren went up and tried to punt the thing as Stimpy desperately tried to pull him back. The newcomer went and shot a flaming bow in the air, which got Ren and Stimpy to stop in their tracks. The camera then zoomed to get a good look at the thing.

GIZMO sizes up!

(If this was a trailer for, I don't know, a game of some sort, then this would be followed by gameplay footage.)

“C-can we pet him now?” Daisy asked. Master Hand appeared behind him.

“Yes, you can pet him. We can add that scene after a bunch of gameplay footage!”

They started to crowd around the little furball, cooing and swooning at every one of his little steps, as if he was a newborn child learning to walk. After gawking at the new creature, they brought him to the mansion.

“So, Master Hand, who’s this adorable little furball? Some kind of weird Pokemon?” asked Pit.

“Gizmo! Gizmo!” The creature replied.

“Gizmo, huh? That’s a pretty cool name,” Aang replied, petting the Mogwai’s head and rubbing his belly a bit.

“Well, I feel that he’d be a good fit here, along with all the other small and cute ones in the mansion. Isn’t that right, Pichu?” Pichu zipped through the mansion halls and saw Gizmo playing, and used Flash to try and get his attention.

“AHHHH! BRIGHT LIGHT! BRIGHT LIGHT!” The creature shot away from the area and scurried back into his cold, dark box.

“Oh yes, one thing I’d like to mention. Rather, three. You see, Mogwai have a very… interesting reaction to occurrences to say the least. I’m not going to go into detail, but they are extremely sensitive to bright light. I’ll make sure that aspect of their biology gets rectified soon, so don’t worry about a thing.” He decided that Dr. Mario and Rick would be the ones to do the dirty work for him.

“Secondly, they cannot get wet. Don’t feed him water, don’t bathe him, don’t do anything that involves water.” Aang and Korra decided to step away from the creature, Greninja teleporting to another room.

“But even if you cannot follow that rule, then at least follow this: do not feed any Mogwai after midnight. If you do, well, there’s going to be another fight on our hands.”

“But aren’t we already fighting each other?” Rocko stammered.

“You have to understand, these things will get ferocious if aggravated enough,” Master Hand warned, “so make sure that these events won’t happen. But if you want more fighting, I’m not stopping you.” Master Hand floated off.

“Well, that was certainly foreboding,” Nigel summarized, “but this new Mogwai species is something we should take care of with the utmost respect, nyes.”

“Don’t worry, Gizmo, I’ll take you to your room,” Peach smiled, dragging the thing with one hand while the box was held tightly in the other.

“There!" she pointed to an open door,  "all nice and tidy. And it has its own TV.”

“Yay! TV! TV!”

As they were walking to the living quarters, Patrick suddenly ran with a surfboard as the Iron Giant was trying to get rid of the water he had gained diving into the mansion’s pool. Spinning his mechanical body around was like getting drenched in rainfall, Gizmo being at ground zero for the whole thing.

“Robot thing, don’t eat my surfboard! I promise it tasted bad, I tried it myself!” Patrick tried to reason with the robot, but both of them were caught off guard as Gizmo started screeching.

His back started to bubble and broil like a heated pot, as a few new furballs sprang out from his body, forming into more Mogwai.

“What the…?” Peach was disgusted at the whole ordeal. The other Mogwai started to climb up the Iron Giant in an attempt to take him apart.

“No. Gremlins BAD!” the robot yelled as he went on the floor and tried to roll them off, ending up successful after a few cycles.

Patrick decided to grab those furry little nuisances and threw them outside the mansion through his window. “There! Outta sight, outta… uh, sight!”

“Patrick, did you hear what Master Hand said?”

“No. Did he mention anything about ice cream?”

“The Mogwai are supposed to stay AWAY from water, not be thrown into it!”

“Uh, yeah, I was busy surfing and stuff.” Peach went to Patrick’s room and looked out his window. The things were nowhere to be seen.

“They must’ve perished in the sunlight, if the fall didn’t injure them. Looks like we’re in the clear, I guess?” the princess assumed.

“Patrick, robot thing, please don’t do this again.”

“Sorry,” the Iron Giant apologized, still shaking any bit of water off him.

At the mansion grounds, in the shaded areas, the remaining Mogwai were up against the wall, avoiding getting spotted. One with a distinctive stripe across his head barked orders to them, pointing to the ground. Digging up holes below the mansion, the creatures started to plot their assault against the mansion. It was only a matter of time…

Chapter Text

SEPTEMBER 12, 2022

Knowing of the hustle and bustle in the mansion, Batman decided to sneak around without getting any attention. Very impressive, given that the very light color scheme would’ve made it near impossible for him to not get noticed otherwise.

Leaving for the bathroom, he already knew of the phones there. He dialed a number instinctually, as if he knew it could work, and it did. Almost as if he was an entirely different person, he turned his normally cold, distant voice into a more formal one.

“Yes, I’m sure Wayne Enterprises will be of assistance to you. Don’t worry your little head off.” Despite this, the caller still had something to say. “If you need anything, go talk to Alfred about it. Currently I’ve got my hands full with a new business venture.”

Hanging up the phone, he tried to walk out, but a puff of smoke dissipated in front of him, revealing Sheik.

“I knew it,” another voice announced, before revealing itself to be coming from Danny. “I should’ve known you’d be hiding something.”

“Listen, kid. We all have our own personal lives outside this little mansion. You, of course, have yours, and I have mine.”

“OK. So is this some sort of ‘secret identity’ thing going on?” Batman tried to walk out but Sheik once more disappeared and reappeared from a smoke cloud. “I guess I have nowhere else to go, huh? Alright, I’ll tell you to sate your curiosity.”

An explanation was given to them and Danny accepted it, but still questioned such a decision made in a safe haven like the Smash Mansion.

“Like, dude, no one’s out to get you here. I mean, I revealed myself to the world and it’s still spinning, right?”

“Listen, Phantom. Your situation is a lot more grander than mine could ever be. Gotham is a dangerous city, and you need your own danger to counteract it.” Danny was thinking to himself about the words Batman said, letting them sit a while in his mind.

Sheik, notably, was understanding of such a cross to bear, taking off her scarf and headgear. “Listen, Danny. Sometimes being in a position of power isn’t enough. Some evils in the world you can’t just defeat with taxes or the like. Sometimes you need to help those in a different way. It worked for me, after all,” she exclaimed as Danny stared dumbfoundedly at what was clearly some other form of Zelda.

“Wait a minute… you’ve got a secret identity too, Sheik?”

“I thought everyone else in the mansion figured it out by now, but I guess some aren’t quick to notice.”

“Well, that was a nice little pep talk we had here,” Danny noticed. “So let’s just forget this happened, alright?” As Danny floated to the door, he saw a well-dressed bespectacled man with Superman’s build speed through and try to freshen himself up. He looked at the small crowd in front of him.

“Don’t worry about it. Your secret’s safe with us,” Sheik reassured, as Superman took a sigh of relief.

Reindog peeked through the empty corridors of this long-abandoned infrastructure he and his friends found themselves in.

“So… why are we here again?” Sora questioned.

“I don’t know how, but I just feel there’s something I should do. Something I should learn…” Pibby paced around the quiet rooms, and started to stare out into the forested area that laid waste to these ruins. “I see something! Sora, look!”

Reindog pushed Sora forward, causing him to notice some strange masked figure approaching them. Reindog started whining and begged for them to get back on the Gummi Ship. Pibby, still curious of the character, tried to fight against Sora dragging her back to their method of escape. However, the masked man appeared from the edge of a corridor and tried to reach for them. Sora instinctively hit his Keyblade against the interloper, causing his mask to slip a little. The man fell down and tried to regain his covering though. As the dust settled, it seemed that they would be back in the safety of the small, unassuming ship, when the masked man started to cower, running away. Pibby felt a chill up her spine as something revealed itself. 

This... thing, this creature towered over them all, with a very dark suit worn on its spindly body. It seemed to look down on them, that is, if it had a face to begin with. As Pibby, Sora and Reindog unexpectedly blinked in unison, the creature went closer. Right next to it seemed to be an unassuming white rabbit, clearly distraught over the events. Pibby immediately noticed and was taken aback by this discovery.

"Wait... Bun Bun...? Bun Bun, is that you?"

The slender figure noticed and raised its hand towards the trio, and as if by magic they were thrust deep into a large body of water. Pibby struggled to swim upwards, but Reindog lifted her up by his antlers and doggy-paddled to safety. Sora gasped for air and tried to swim to the edge of the forest. As the girl regained her composure, the keyblade wielder went up to her with a terrified expression, shaken by this new threat.

"Who's... Bun Bun?"

Pibby felt a knot in her stomach as she tried to give the answer. "He was my best friend."

Chapter Text

Catching their breaths, the three had time to talk about what just went on. Sora decided to start the conversation. “What exactly happened to your friend?”

“The darkness took him. And… it changed him, somehow. He became more mean. He said something about ‘enveloping the world in crushing darkness’.”

“I’ve fought people who think exactly like that, kid. And I know how you feel. Riku was misled in the same way. Somehow he learned to control it, and I would like him to free Bun Bun from these temptations, but I can’t reach him right now. I don’t feel like I’ll EVER reach him…” Sora started to get quiet as he slouched further.

“Looks like we’ve both got friends issues, don’t we Pibby?” Reindog squeezed in between them to alleviate any kind of troubles they were having. “It’s nice to have someone like you, Reindog,” Sora sighed as he pet the creature. “Tell you what, Pibby. I think you should go to the mansion. I’m sure all the new people there can help you.”

“Really? You think so?” She started to get into a chipper mood.

“Sure. We’re always open for new members of the team.”

SEPTEMBER 18, 2022

The Gummi Ship parked back at the mansion’s lawn, Sora springing out with his new allies. “I’m sure that Master Hand would let you in if he saw how you fight. He’s obsessed with that for… some reason.”

Reindog did happy little jumps around Pibby, and for a moment an earnest smile formed on her face.

“I don’t want to fight though, Sora. I just want to learn!”

“Well, I guess you can learn about fighting? I don’t think they teach that. At least not where I’m from.”

“So I get to learn about fighting here! That’s wonderful!” Pibby beamed.

She stepped through the front doors, but something seemed to be off. The doors started to distort and move erratically, as if whatever magic or technology that helped transfigure the usual forms into their trophy state just refused to work. While yes, characters have shown up uninvited before, it seemed that Master Hand already planned for them in advance. Or at least it seemed like it.

Sora went up to the imposing hand and tried to ask him for any confirmation. “Excuse me, Mr. Hand, but my friend needs somewhere to stay. She doesn’t have a home anymore.”

“Sure, bring whoever you want, kid. Did they gain their trophy form?”

“Uhh…,” Sora hesitated for a moment. He didn’t want Pibby to be thrown out of the mansion, especially with its numerous security measures.

“I don’t offer this mansion as a charity, Sora. Besides, I can’t recall a ‘Pibby’ anywhere in my memory.”

“Then what about Reindog? We have no idea where HE came from but we accepted him.”

“Well, that was different. A whole new batch of new faces was a lot, even for a powerful hand like me!”

Reindog went up to Master Hand, doing his best puppy-dog eyes. The hand was touched by this gesture of sadness, and decided that he would give Pibby some hospitality.

“Now, child,” Master Hand softened his voice for the girl that now stood in front of him, “you are welcome to stay here as long as you like. However, since you don’t have a trophy form, you should abstain from battling for now.”

“Alright, Master Hand! I won’t let you down.”

As the computer of the mansion whirred (even in realms like these Nintendo can’t be bothered to upgrade from Windows ‘98) a new email happened to pop up in the list. Shulk decided to check this one out with R.O.B.

“This one’s a rather queer one, it is.” The Monado boy pointed to some new, buggy message from an unknown sender. R.O.B. did a few beeps of curiosity. This was enough to get the attention of Hugh, who decided to check it out.

“Wow, would you look at that letter? Wonder if you get subscriptions to Quackin’ Crazy Duck Magazines here…” The three opened the email, and it seemed really off.

WANT IRRESISTIBLE [[Deals]] THAT WILL BLOW YOUR [Rapidly-Shrinking] MIND?! THEN CLICK HERE FOR [[Hochi Mama]]S IN YOUR AREA! AND [[Poor Souls]] OUTSIDE YOUR AREA! 

Attached to it was a blurred picture of a small, helpless rabbit looking sad as shadows of monsters appeared in the background. A common tactic for sure. But neither Shulk or R.O.B. were swayed.

“Wait a minute, aren’t you going to help out that little bunny?” Hugh asked. If Pibby had any ears on her bulbous head, they would’ve perked up about now.

“Little bunny?” She scurried over to the computer and saw what was clearly Bun-Bun, no doubt scared from whatever he’s been thrust into. “He needs our help! Surely we have to…”

New text appeared.

[[What are you waiting f0r?]] THIS DEAL IS A [[Limited Time Offer]] SO CLICK NOW OR FEEL [[Regerts]] GNAWING AT YOUR [[HeartShapedObject]]!

She was confused. This message didn’t really talk like anything that came from her world, but some kind of insider knowledge on Bun-Bun was greatly appreciated. As she was hesitating, Hugh tried to take away the primitive mouse knowing better, but some slip-up caused him to click the flashing button prompt anyways.

The computer started to sputter and convulse as the mechanical aspects felt like they were overheating. A bluescreen popped up for a couple of seconds. “Oh, bugger. Looks like we got ourselves a virus installed,” Shulk groaned.

“I’m sure that Rick or Jimmy could fix it u-” but then like magic, some small creature jumped out of the computer and un-bluescreened it… somehow. The thing was like a man, only small and short in stature. If anything, it looked like a derelict marionette version of some 90’s internet safety mascot with pastel glasses and slicked-back hair. 

“Ugh, Jimbo? Do you have any idea what that thing is?” Jimmy went over and took notes on the thing as it started to convulse.

“Seems like some sort of advanced automaton. Sure feels futuristic if it was able to escape the confines of the computer.” The puppet thing lurched forward, finally standing on its two tiny little feet.

“HEY            EVERY        ! [[Guess who’s back?]] THAT’S RIGHT [Kids], YOUR GOOD OLD PAL SPAM- SPAMTON G. SPAMTON! EAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAEHA!” Spamton slid across the floor as if he was pulled along by some invisible strings. “WOAH! YOU [[Paid]] NO EXPENSES HERE!”

He continued to slide his way throughout the mansion, looking at everything set up through his rose and yellow tinted lenses. Wario happened upon that little digital imp.

“Hey needlenose! What’s your deal, eh?”

“YOU’RE ASKING ME… WHAT MY… [[Deal]]... IS?” Once again lurching towards Wario, he managed to freak the portly plumber out.

“Hey, hey! If you want money, I got a castle full of it!”

“LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE HAS SOME SPARE [[Kromer]] LYING AROUND! TIME TO [[C o n s u m e]].” Spamton grew his head up to the point where it dwarfed his body and started sucking in much of Wario’s coins. “NOW THAT WAS [[5-Star]] [Smorgasbord] MY DEAR [[BusinessPartner]]. DO YOU HAVE AN YMORE?”

“Do you really think I’m gonna give ya my savings, you freakshow?” Wario shoulder-bashed Spamton into a wall.

“LOOKS LIKE MY [[Business Transaction Failed]]. OFF TO ANOTHER [[LoyalCustomer]]!” Not put off by him literally getting punted against a wall, his head turned halfway around to focus on Pibby. His body, though delayed, repositioned itself to match the direction his head was facing.

“AND YOU, [You fine lookin’] [[Eager McBeaver]], I’VE HEARD [sotries] ABOUT YOU AND YOUR LITTLE [[Keymaster]]... I’M SURE THAT YOUR LITTLE [Friends] WANTS TO KNOW [[Hey! What’s Going On?]] IN YOUR [Career], DOESN’T HE?”

“Please, Scamton…”

“IT’S SPAMTON G. SPAMTON YOU [[Beautiful]] LITTLE [[Worm]]!”

“Spamton, I want you to help me find Bun-Bun.”

“HERE’S THE THING MY [EsteemCustomer], I WOULD IF I COULD, I KNOW [Ware] HE ISN’T! BUT NOT WHERE HE IS. HOWEVER, IF YOU BRING THAT [[Lightbringer]] TO ME MAYBE HIS LITTLE [[Keygen]] CAN UNLOCK FURTHER [[Buuuuurning questions]] IN YOUR LIFE!”

Pibby could still understand, despite the frankly odd way that Spamton tried to convince her. “I… guess, Mr. Spamton?”

“[[Cha-Ching]]! YOU’VE GOT SOME [Guts], KID! THAT'S [[Discomfort and abdominal pain]] IN MY [Guts]!” 

Pibby went and grabbed Sora for her supposed interview. “Uh, where are you taking me?”

“Look! I think I found someone that can help us find Bun-Bun! He’s a bit strange, but he’s the only person we have that knows something.”

“Alright. Let’s see who this guy is.” They went up to meet Spamton, who was busy rummaging around the trash cans.

“OH! MY [[ValuedAudience]]! JUST WHAT I WANTED TO SEE. SO, SORA, DO YOU HAVE IT? THE [[KeyGen]]?”

“Ya mean this?” Sora brandished the Keyblade trying to show it off.

“YES! YES! [[Friend request accepted]]! NOW, LET’S GO FIND SOME [[Power Saver]]S. THIS IS GOING TO BE THE [[Deal]] OF A [Rapidly-Shrinking] LIFETIME!” Spamton cackled psychotically as he went near the fountain.

“Wait a second… Why are you taking us here?”

“Sora, what is here?”

“YES. YES! NOW [[Let’s Get Dangerous…]]” A flock of Spirits were floating around the fountain, giving off light that shone in Spamton’s spectacles. “SO KIDS, [[What’s your favorite idea?]] SHOULD I GO WITH THIS [[Little Morsel]] OR THAT ONE?”

“What are you-”

“JUST MAKING SURE THAT I HAVE A GOOD PURCHASE. OF COURSE, THAT’S THE BURDEN OF A [[Generis]] SALESMAN SUCH AS I…”

Sora was restless seeing this all go down. “Pibby, I don’t think this is right.”

“AH, YES! NOW TO [[Upgrade Hardware]]!" Spamton screamed, startling his supposed audience. "[[Turn on the juice]]! [[Pick up your shoes!]]" The spirits entered Spamton’s body, augmenting him as he started to transform. Notably, they seemed to be the melding of Ray Mk. III and Mega Man X with his armor. Enveloped in shadow, Spamton’s being started to morph into a bigger, more powerful mecha.

“HOLY [[Cungadero]], DO I FEEL [[Great]]! NOW PRESENTING THE [Debut] OF… SPAMTON EX!!!”

Spamton EX flew off with an improvised jetpack and grabbed Sora with the spare hand that wasn’t a buster. 

“LET ME SAY [[Thanks]], KID! NOW THAT I’VE GOT [[The Power]] I AM NOW ONE STEP CLOSER INTO ACHIEVING [H E A V E N]! [[Isn’t this wonderful?]]”

“NO!” Sora sputtered, trying to free himself from the salesman’s grasp. “You were supposed to help us find Bun-Bun! You promised!”

“OH, YES. YOUR LITTLE [[Rabbit-Ears]] FRIEND. WELL, I SAID [I Have No Idea!] WHERE HE IS! THAT PART IS TRUE. BUT I CAN TELL YOU HE ISN’T [[On a Paid Vacation]] TO ANY OF YOUR WORLDS CURRENTLY! HOW’S THAT FOR [[Information that will blow your mind]]?”

“Let me GO!” Sora summoned a bit of magic from his fingertips, but to no avail.

“LISTEN HERE, [[Lightbringer]]. THAT [[HeartShapedObject]] OF YOURS IS [Stronger Than You] COULD EVER IMAGINE! WHEN I WAS GIVEN [[Freedom]] BY [[AudienceParticipation]] I JUST KNEW I HAD TO EXPLORE [Bed Bath & Beyond] MY SILLY LITTLE [World]! AND I JUST NEEDED THE RIGHT BAIT. NOW… IT’S TIME TO [[Stick in my thumb and pull out a PLUM]]!"

Spamton EX’s buster turned into a buzzsaw, ready to cut Sora and take his heart as a business trade. While he was madly laughing, Pibby decided to take action. Leaping into the air filled with adrenaline, she did a forceful kick, letting Spamton loosen his grasp. 

“OH, SO IT’S A [[Double Offer]], HUH? BE WARNED, LIGHTNERS, I WON’T GO [[Easy Mode]] ON YOU!”

Roller coaster tracks somehow spawned on the floor of the mansion, as they whisked Pibby and Sora on some broken down cars with Spamton’s grimacing face adorning them.

“[[BOISENGIRLS]], [Welcome to the boss level!]”

Chapter Text

Spamton EX cackled madly as he started to launch his first attack. Sending out small Spamton-fied valkyries out with spears at the ready, the mini creatures rushed at their unwilling prey. Sora tensed himself for battle as Pibby tried to shield herself.

Just when the spears were about to be thrust towards them, the two started to feel something strange. As if by magic, Sora could feel his heart turning in his chest, its apex pointed straight toward the flying fiends. Aiming his hand like a finger gun, he felt some new power inside him, as he shot a small yellow bullet of energy at the thing, causing it to dissipate.

Pibby tried to do the same thing as well, which also had great results. Spamton EX paused for a bit, almost like he’d seen this exact scenario play out, his seemingly carved-in smile faltering just a little. The duo saw this and knew they had an advantage.

“LOOKS LIKE YOU TWO [[Know your moves]]! BUT DO NOT THINK OF YOURSELF AS TRUE [[Big Shots]] LIKE [YoursTruly]...” He summoned a huge blue egg of sorts, catapulting it with his blaster. As the obtuse object was about to crash land, Pibby started to feel something resonate. Almost like starting up an engine, her heart started to glow with the yellow energy, almost as if it was growing in strength. Pointing her stubby hand at the ammunition, a larger flaming bullet shot through the air and instantly disintegrated the egg into a gaggle of mini Spamton heads, which they both dodged.

“WOW! LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE A [[BIG SHOT!!!!]] AFTER ALL! BUT CAN YOU MAKE IT [Big]? OR WILL YOU END UP IN THE [[Trash]]?” The roller coasters they were on started to gain speed. “[[Let the games begin]]! FOR REAL THIS TIME!”

Spamton EX flew with the jetpack and started to shoot energy beams which Sora dodged as Pibby tried to follow suit, only to get zapped in the process. “IT’S NOT [[Everyday Bro]] THAT YOU CAN GET A [[Kill One, Get One Free]] OFFER!” He rammed into the carts as the two started to shake off, almost getting grinded on the rails.

As Sora leapt back into his car, Spamton EX zoomed behind him. “[[Bombs? You want it?]] TAKE A [FreeSample]!” Gripping onto the car’s edge, the boy reared up a charged yellow energy bullet that detonated the bombs before they could reach him. Pibby turned and took the side opposite to him, blasting at Spamton’s other barrage of attacks.

“PLAYING [[Hard2Get]], I SEE.” Suddenly pillars with the salesman’s head carved into them headed towards the railings. Upon shooting them, the debris broke apart and flew around the mansion like shrapnel. Hitting the two targets, Pibby winced as she shot further.

“NOW WE ARE ABOUT TO REACH [[The Absolute]]...” Some huge rockets started to fly out of Spamton EX’s chest cavity. Sora shot more of them, the explosions rocking the mansion even further than it already was when the fight began. “AND [[Heaven]] IS WITHIN MY REACH. [[I Can Almost Taste It…]] AND BOY DOES IT TASTE LIKE [Burning!!!]”

The chest cavity sprung out a chained heart-like mechanism that gnashed its teeth at its opposition. Springing forth and back like a demented cuckoo clock, it started shooting out flames as it began to glow red. It soon burst into flames and fell down as an untethered, raging projectile. “OW! I GOT [HeartBurn]! YOU [[Beautiple]] KIDS ARE GOING DOWN!”

Spamton was preparing for a massive attack, when all of a sudden one of his hands morphed into a phone, the ringing distracting him. "HOLD ON JUST [[One 2nd]], VALUED CUSTOMERS." He put the phone to his ear, and static-y chatter emanated from it. "I SEE. YES. GOT THAT." He decided to resume the battle with the phone in hand. "GUESS WHAT? IT'S FOR YOU!" A giant laser shot from the phone as Sora countered it with his Keyblade. "NO ONE LIKES A [[HangUp]]."

Wario looked on and decided to run to Master Hand. “Excuse me, Mr. Hand, we have a little problem. Some guy named Spammon or something or other is throwing bombs everywhere. Honestly, I would’ve done better, but-”

“Are you talking about Spamton?”

“Yeah, that little freak kept shouting it everywhere. And he stole my money, so you better give that twerp what for!”

“If Spamton receives any sort of power, it’ll take a lot to bring him down. Crazy Hand?”

“Yeah? That weirdo made it in without an invite? Oh, that’s not playing fair! I’m gonna SQUASH him!” The two hands flew out and went to the coaster tracks.

Spamton EX reached into the ground and suddenly pairs of clawed hands started to sprout up. Sora jumped up while Pibby decided to slide below them. “ONCE THAT [Friend] IS [Inside Me] I’LL BE ONE OF THE [[ShiningStars]]! THAT [[CathodeCrew]] WILL BE [Ctrl Alt Delete]! AND MY [[LoyelFollowers]] WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY [[Award-Losing Smile]]! IF YOU COULD JUST GIVE… ME… YOUR SOUL! THEN WE’D BE CALLING THE [[BIG SHOTS]], JUST YOU AND ME! AND THAT OTHER [[Light nER]]!” Another big blast was shot in tandem with the bombs, piercing through them causing a 4-pronged pillar of explosions.

“Listen, Spamton! You don’t have to do this! We can make you big without you taking my heart. I could make you a summon and let you see worlds beyond your own… if only for… a moment.” Sora realized that this would not be enough to sway him.

“[[Deal or No Deal]]? THAT’S THE SHOW WHERE THOSE WHO DON’T TAKE THE DEAL GET FILLED WITH [[Bullets]] FROM THE HOST’S MOUTH!” Spamton started to spew out mini blasts that had his visage laughing cruelly at them.

As Spamton reared up for an undodgeable attack, Master Hand assumed the form of a rocket and hit him. “WHAT? THAT’S [[CheatingTricks]]! I CAN’T [[Imbalance]] IT OUT, YOU [[Little Sponge]]!”

Crazy Hand started raining bombs from his fingers which provoked Spamton EX to shoot at them, causing a part of the mansion’s ceiling to fall onto him. At first it seemed like it was all over, until some rumbling was heard from the rubble. “YOU HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT A [[Firewall]] LIKE THAT COULD [[End License Agreement?]]" Bursting from the floor, Spamton EX rose to face Sora and Pibby, but this time, it seemed that all the wear and tear finally got to him. His machinery sparked with shocks as it started to bellow rainbow smoke.

“Spamton! You have to stop this!” Pibby tried to reason with him, “You might get hurt!”

“HURT? I’M [[TopQuality]], BABY! THIS [[Victory Smoke]] IS ONLY UNDENIABLE PROOF I’M [Big]! YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS, JUST LIKE THOSE [[Small shots]] WHO LAUGHED AT ME! WELL WHO’S LAUGHING [[Now In Theaters]]? ME! EAHAHAHAHAHAHAEHA!” Spamton kept spinning around, either unaware or denying how much damage he'd taken.

“NOW… IT’S TIME TO [[Terminate]] OUR LITTLE DEAL, ISN’T IT?” Spamton EX unfolded his jetpack to reveal more cannons, as he flew up and charged a massive beam of energy. “A PLEASURE DOING [Business] WITH YOU, KID!”

Sora and Pibby braced for impact, as they saw Fox pull out his Reflector and shot it back. The explosion was enough to break most of Spamton EX’s tech, causing him to stagger and sputter slowly down to the ground. When the smoke cleared, Spamton did one more attack, rushing and using up whatever energy he had left. Sora stood in front of Pibby and fired one last yellow bullet. This was enough to overheat the core of the machine. Once more, the phone hand began ringing. The mechanism put his ear up to the phone. The static responded yet again, but Pibby noticed it sounded a bit harsher somehow. Hanging up, Spamton looked down at his steadily breaking chest cavity, then looked at his two “customers”. An explosion happened soon after.

What used to be a giant robot salesman now was nothing but a heap of junk, with the main vessel, the original Spamton, barely able to stand on his own two legs.

“So… you managed to beat me,” Spamton hacked in an uncharacteristically silent whisper, “guess you’re stronger than I thought.”

Pibby tried to reach for him and get him out of the machine, only for him to slap her hand away.

“Don’t bother trying to save me. I thought this mansion could give me another chance. I should’ve known that it would end the same.”

Sora tried to heal him, but it just couldn’t work. “No matter what reality I find myself in, I will still be nothing more but a puppet pulled by strings. You, however, are so close to breaking your own strings, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“You will learn in time. But I guess this is the end of our deal…” Spamton and his EX form faded away, the spirits he stole floating to other directions. In his stead was his glasses, emanating with a mysterious power.

“I’ll be taking that,” Master Hand snatched up the spectacles. “Let’s bring this guy back to his world.” The giant glove threw the glasses into a self-made hole, the crevice closing after the object fell in.

“Is… is he going to be OK?” Pibby asked.

“He’s back where he belongs, he’ll be alright.”

Kris was busy with a new journey to remember whatever equipment was left behind. Reaching into those seemingly deep pockets and dimensional chests, they found the Dealmaker safe and sound. How strange. It was almost as if it ceased to be from this current reality. At least it was back.

Spamton A. Spamton escaped from the prison of his own making. Crawling through the sewer's entrance, he escaped into the sunlight. The rays of the sun burned his very being, his very soul. Skirting through the blades of grass that cut through his worn out shoes, he could hear nothing but the worship he bellowed out to his audience, his livestream.

NOT SOME CIRCUS CLOWN, WHO'S MORE SICK THAN HE FUNNY

The echoing tribute to Spamton continued in his head, ringing through his ears like an alarm clock.

A LOVABLE SALESMAN, HE GIVE ME FREE MONEY

He gazed upon a trash can, rummaging through its unsanitary contents. "Where is it? WHERE IS IT?!" he panicked as his heart started to pound faster and harder in his chest.

AND WHEN I HAVE GIVEN, WITH NO MORE TO GIVE

The telephone poles towered over him, staring down at him with their wires that stretched into oblivion. On any other day, Spamton A. Spamton would not look up at these artificial trees of electricity. But dissociated from his world, he saw the towers as terrifying giants, mocking him.

EVEN IF IN DOING,

Sweltering heat continued to beat down upon Spamton A. Spamton's back. He checked his field of view and adjusted his glasses, only to see a phone in the distance. His last lifeline to a better world. To a better life.

I DIE IN ONE HOUR

"Spamton..." he panted as he tried to fish around his pockets for spare change, "Spamton, PLEASE..." He put in the change and yanked the phone from its spot.

Words kept coming out of Spamton A. Spamton's mouth. "Spamton... Spamton... I need HELP from you Spamton!" The presence of something marched closer. "Spamton, PLEASE ANSWER, Spamton!" The presence set its sights on its struggling prey.

MAY THE HYMN OF THE ANGEL

"Spamton, you've got..." he continued to stammer over his sentences, squirming like a worm scorching across the heat on a blacktop. "Please help me, Spamton, you gotta tell me what to do! You gotta tell me what to do!" Nearly out of breath, he tried every option and every bargain he could, failing to notice the entity hunting him down was right behind him, until it was too late.

SING THEE TO THY REST

Nothing. Spamton A. Spamton was gone, and the phone was left hanging from its cord. Waiting for the call to answer. Waiting for someone to pick it up.

But nobody came.

Chapter Text

OCTOBER 6, 2022

Master Hand started to dance around with glee the only way a giant hand could: using two of his fingers as makeshift legs. A little jig with the white gloved fingers imitating a waltz awakened many of the mansion’s residents with how much they’ve been stomping.

“Huh? What’s going on?” Zelda groggily questioned, her hair all frizzy and a bit of drool still on her lip.

“Well, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, princess!” Master Hand snapped his fingers and fixed Zelda’s disheveled appearance up.

“He says this every holiday. Even unconventional ones like Talk Like A Pirate Day,” Rosalina clarified.

“Oh, come on. It’s Halloween! Get in the spirit!”

“It’s not Halloween yet!” chided April.

Master Hand attempted to explain his reasoning. “I wouldn’t want to keep you here in your own realms for a proper Halloween party, so this year I decided since we have plenty of new guests around, it would be fun to have them participate in a nice get-together.”

“Well, yes, I don’t see the harm in that, but aren’t a lot of them sleeping right now?” Zelda questioned.

Korra woozily marched through, in a haze. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, just Master Hand is throwing an early Halloween party.”

“Oh, I see,” Korra smirked, thinking she knew what was going on, before turning to Sora. “What’s Halloween?”

Pibby decided to step in, feeling very confident. “Halloween is a very special day, where people like to dress up and eat candy!”

Suddenly a giant, pastel-colored representation of the word “CANDY” appeared floating in the air. “Oh, wow! Looks like we found our Word for the Day !”

Sora looked at the oddity. “So, is this your doing?”

“No. Back in my world each day has a special word. When we say it we get a sense of happiness. I… miss those times.”

“Well, you can continue talking about Halloween to the folks that don’t know about it yet. I’m sure that there’s a lot of new faces around.”

As Steven woke up and sauntered clumsily into the main hall, he was confused at everything going on. “What’s all this?”

“Oh! You’re just in time for the Halloween party!”

“Hallo-what now?”

“Oh, let me tell you.” Pibby motioned Steven as Master Hand set up stands filled with candy. 

A few more of the mansion’s guests were dragged into this celebration. Some of them were already aware of the festivities of Halloween, so it wasn’t that difficult to get the mansion properly accommodated. Master Hand and Crazy Hand would constantly shift between the stands, handing out candy to any traveling guest that stopped by.

“For those who don’t have a Halloween back in your reality, this could be considered a ‘free sample’,” he announced.

Others did their best to listen and note down whatever customs there were.

"You know what, Reindog? You haven't met Galeem and Dharkon yet! Granted, I doubt they would be friendly, but I'm sure you could find something useful about them!" Sora beamed. He, Reindog and Kirby went off to try and invite the grumpy eldritch gods who lived in their own little suite.

“WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE HERE TRESPASSING, MORTALS?” Galeem shouted.

Sora quietly stepped up, shielding the burning light of the creature with his hand. “Uh… I was wondering if you could join us in the Halloween party this year?”

“THE ANSWER, OF COURSE, IS NO! WHY WOULD I WILLINGLY WASTE PRECIOUS TIME ON SUCH A DARK AND DECREPIT CELEBRATION OF THE WORMS THAT CRAWL BETWEEN THE TWILIGHT? MY LIGHT BURNS BRIGHTER THAN A MILLION SUNS! A DAY LIKE THIS SHALL NEVER GRAB MY ATTENTION.”

Dharkon had his spiked tentacles form a giant mass to slap his brother with. “AND YET YOUR MISERABLE FORM DECIDES TO WASTE TIME ANYWAY BY EXISTING. BESIDES, ANY WELCOME WORSHIP OF DARKNESS AND DESPAIR IS NEEDED. THOSE COWARDLY ANTS ARE TOO COMFORTABLE IN THEIR LIVES.” Dharkon’s singular eye turned a deep crimson as his pupil suddenly shrunk. “FEAR IS THE GREATEST EDUCATOR THERE IS, NOT SOME INSIPID WORTHLESS CREATURE THAT FLAUNTS ITS FALSE PURITY.”

Galeem’s wings did multiple hits towards his darker, edgier brother.

“Your thorny brother wants to join, why can’t you?”

“OH, IF I OR MY UNCOUTH BROTHER CAME ALONE, WE WOULD-” Dharkon forcefully pushed the angel aside.

“EVISCERATE YOU. TEAR YOUR PITIFUL FORMS TO SHREDS, AGAIN AND AGAIN. BUT THAT WOULD TURN TO TEDIUM QUICKLY.”

“You see, Reindog? They only care about fighting each other.” Sora explained with an unamused expression. “And besides, they can’t admit that they aren’t fun to be around…” he whispered to his teammates.

“WE HEARD THAT!” Both brothers screeched as their big door closed in front of them.

Gizmo was asked to eat the candy, but he politely declined. Still, he would keep his bag on his person, either to come around to eating later or to share it. Perhaps both, as he was a pure little soul. Other than that, all who were awake appreciated the gesture, especially since it led to more characters interacting, something Master and Crazy were waiting for with bated breath. Meanwhile, a crew of similar shaped Mogwai were sneaking around in the shadows. Once Gizmo was distracted and the bag was put down, one immediately jumped into the bag and ravaged it of its sugary contents. Quite a foolproof plan, if he wasn’t so loud. 

“CANDY! STEAL CANDY!” Gizmo yelped as another giant representation of the word poofed into existence. That got enough attention.

“Like, Gizmo, what’s wrong?” Shaggy asked.

“I think something’s up with the bag!” Patrick noticed. Rustling was continuing to reverberate from the place Gizmo put his bag down.

They all turned around and looked to see a familiar gremlin with a mischievous grin on its face as it was tearing through the now spilling bag of candy.

“Master Hand, didn’t you say that we shouldn’t feed these things after midnight?” Velma squeaked.

“Oh… yes. Well, I guess now’s the time you find out what happens when they’re fed.”

Sora carefully approached the bag as he saw a weird cocoon now placed in the wreckage, like an egg surrounded by a nest of plastic and aluminum shreds.

“...So, should we just kick it or something?” Raphael questioned.

Yet, the cocoon started to shake and squirm, as if a maggot was tearing through a corpse. The voracious shaking continued until a single claw came out, followed by another. Hoarse laughing erupted as the newfound, scaly creature popped its head out, and then with one quick movement tore the cocoon into shreds. Now, illuminated by dull moonlight, the Gremlin made his lasting first impression.

STRIPE wets his appetite!