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Chapter Text

Welcome to the DISCLAIMER and FAQ:

First, the disclaimers:

Historical Content:

Some components of the story are based in real history, though most of the plot and years will follow Magnificent Century, which takes some things out of context (putting that lightly.) 

RELATIONSHIP IMBALANCE:

Harem girls were taken into the harem as young as 7, though they obviously never walked the golden road at that age. If you've watched Kosem, or the end of Magnificent Century, you might see Safiye Sultan. She was believed to have walked the golden road at 13 and given birth to her first child at 14. We're not going that young here, but this isn't taking place in the 21st century. There are things that can't be rewritten when it was simply fact. Historically, Hurrem was likely 16 to Suleiman's 26. Hasna is 16 in the beginning, it is the most recognized age of consent globally, but again, this is not always historically accurate. If that is triggering for you, please don't read this story.

Additionally, this obviously features a power imbalance. It is a man taking advantage of a woman forced into a slavery who has literally no other choice. Harem girls were not allowed to leave the harem without permission, and that was either only through service or the golden road. Hasna is at a disadvantage. Her children change her role, but, like many consorts, she does not die a free woman. Her greatest historical contributions are her children and the role she played in Suleiman's life. Again, if this is triggering, please do not read any further.

Characters:

All characters belong to their original creators, I do not have any insider personal knowledge as to the show or to the historical figures.

Hasna, Cennet, Murad, Nefise, Defne, Habil, and Emine are all of my own creation. Any likeness to real life people is purely coincidental, and, unless otherwise mentioned, unintentional.

Character Death:

If you've watched the show, you know there's major character death within the first few episodes. If you're watching the 1 and a half hour version, it's Episode 12/13. The longer version has it in episode 9? I could be wrong about that. Then there's obviously the deaths of the princes and Ibrahim, and Hatice. This book is SHOW ACCURATE. The characters that die are going to die. 

I might put out other fics about this show, in which case I would note otherwise, but this is the nature of the show and HISTORY. We're not time traveling, people. 

And the FAQ: To Be Updated with the progression of the story

Q: So what's the difference between this book and the book with "excerpts" (as of 6/11/24 (USA) this is not published though it will be eventually)

A: Well Writing Style:

When I first wrote this story it was written semi-uniquely. Long ago, I had published (it's gone now) a historical fiction book where, interspersed with chapters were "essays" and "excerpts" from "historical works" by "real historians." I am not the original creator of this concept, so, as always, credit to the originator, but it's been over a decade and I can no longer find the first fic I ever saw it in.

Anyway, in the original version of this book, not on Ao3, I have the excerpts included. But the audience for this here feels different somehow so I chickened out and didn't include it. But then I thought to myself, what if there are people who do? So I will be releasing a version with the excerpts, though I am not sure if it will just be here and I will get over it, or I will do something separate. I am leaning toward just putting one here. 

Q: Nonny, Who is Hasna's face claim?

A: Excellent question. Hasna is played by Beren Saat. She is the actress who plays Kosem, but she has the desired look.

Q: Why can't I comment on the fic?

A: I totally appreciate wanting to comment, but given the rash of hate that has been happening on here lately, to the point that Ao3 had to limit all guest comments for a little while, I have decided to keep this to people with accounts. This also means I will delete comments at my own volition if I find them to be rude or discriminatory, etc.

Q: Can we trust your historical information?

A: To an extent. Most of my knowledge comes from Wikipedia, where I then follow the sources to where they are citing them from. When it is about historical figures, I always recommend looking to the experts, not a fanfic writer. I do happen to have knowledge in history, but nowhere near the level of say, Leslie Pierce, who has written a great book called Empress of the East all about Hurrem. I will sometimes provide my sources when I am not feeling, frankly, lazy, but I encourage you to read on your own for the historical context. 

The show is nowhere near accurate. For example, Hatice and Ibrahim were never married, though that was only disproven about six months after the show started coming out. Gulfem is not actually proven to be a mother to any of Suleiman's children, and was actually a very good friend of both Hurrem and Suleiman. Suleiman never took another woman after Hurrem, and his last children were all by her. Hurrem has a whole child that is not included in the show because his birth year is not known and he died very young. Raziye, who, in the show, is born by Nazenin toward the end of Hurrem's life, was actually born during the time Suleiman was still a prince. 

I could go on for hours. The point is, this is a fanfiction first. While there are parts of history included, like the age of harem slaves and other aspects, this isn't anything masterful. DO NOT TAKE THIS FIC AS FACT IN ANY CAPACITY.

Q: Nonny, do you speak Turkish?

A: I wish, but no. I am stuck speaking only English, like preschool level French, and I can tell you I'm the President of the United States in Spanish. Any Turkish terminology is run through either google translate or from the show's subtitles. The show struggles with certain translations, but for the most part it's not terrible. There are phrases I will throw in from time to time because to write them in English looks out of place. For example;

Most of the time, when talking about a meal, people will say Enjoy your meal, or bon appetit. Bon appetit has a direct translation into Turkish, Afiyet Olsun. I would consider using that sometimes. 

Another thing that Turkish does in conjoin two words, usually a name and the word "my". My is usually Benim which is really mine. What Turkish does when you attach "my" to something is ad "im" to the end of it. So "My" "Hasna" would be Hasnaim. My computer hates that so you'll see most "my" anything being written as "Hasna-m" because it essentially makes the same sound though it is not perfect. There are countless examples of Suleyman referring to Hurrem as "Hurrem-m" in the show. 

Chapter Text

The first thing that changed about Katerina when Valide allowed her to follow Gulfem to Topkapi Palace was her name. Valide had determined that Katerina was worthy of a Turkish name, even if she remained a practicing Christian, due to her unerring loyalty to the imperial family.

Oh, everyone within the walls of Topkapi Palace was loyal. They served their masters well and never brought problems before them, but a few, like Katerina, went above and beyond.

The funny thing was that the event that led the Valide Sultan to change Katerina's name was a complete accident. It could have happened to any of the girls working in the palace. But it had been Katerina who had caught a traitor amongst the odalisques. The woman had been attempting to lace one of Valide Sultan's new fabrics with some kind of poison when Katerina had come into the laundry looking for one of Gulfem's missing veils. Katerina had screamed, alerting the guards, and walked away with a small scar on her right palm as a reminder.

This loyalty had gotten Katerina renamed Halime, which the Valide Sultan explained meant gentle and generous, two features that they attributed to her. It was easy for Halime to shed her life as Katerina, for it was a past that she could hardly remember. Halime could still speak her native tongue because she often helped Nigar Kalfa with the new girls, but if asked, Halime could not remember what her parents' names were. She knew she had two brothers, but even they had faded from her with time.

Even if, one day, she managed to return to her homeland, there would be nothing there for her. Halime's only chance at a happy ending was ensuring she continued to do her duty well. With her new name and favor, perhaps a good marriage awaited her at the end of her service.

Of course, that had been nearly two years ago, and since then, Halime's routine had been practically the same every day. In the mornings, she was woken to the sound of Nigar Kalfa shouting for the girls to rise from their beds so they could begin cleaning. Halime would do as she was told, rolling up her mat and making sure her closest friend in the harem, Nefise, was awake. Halime would only spend a short time in the harem before being instructed to put on one of the pretty, if plain, silk dresses she had been gifted over the last two years and make her way to the Valide Sultan's chambers.

Technically, Halime had been brought to Constantinople and Topkapi Palace to accompany Gulfem Hatun as a quasi-maid. Gulfem was no longer a sultana without her children and had been demoted back to a favorite. However, Hatice and Valide both adored her and Suleiman, once he had recovered from his grief, he often sought her counsel. This meant that Gulfem didn't have girls acting as her maids daily, but because Halime had been gifted to the harem for her, Valide had allowed it.

So, Halime follows Gulfem throughout her day. More often than not, this means that Halime is wherever Hatice Sultan can be found. Thanks to her near-daily presence with Gulfem, the Sultana had come to like Halime, finding the younger girl charming, with a good sense of humor. Once Hatice learns that Halime is a talented singer, she even has the young maid perform occasionally to liven up the day. Gulfem and Hatice loved to take walks in the garden, which meant Halime got to be outside. They were funny and sweet and clearly loved each other like sisters. They were not afraid to talk about most things in front of Halime, which made her feel honored. Hatice had even trusted Halime to help pass some messages to Ibrahim Pasha.

That was what a routine day looked like for Halime until six weeks ago.

The Valide Sultan had begun experiencing neck pain, likely induced by the stress of her son's seemingly never-ending fascination with his newest Sultana, Hurrem. Until now, it has been managed mainly by Valide's maids. However, Ibrahim Pasha had been promoted to Grand Vizier six weeks previously. This promotion was far from ideal, given who the Sultan had passed over to do so. Then, Hatice's fiance had been revealed to have the white plague. Valide had thought that would be enough for Suleiman to end the engagement. After all, Hatice had already endured one marriage to a dying man.

She had been wrong. When Suleiman announced that Hatice's engagement remained valid, Valide had had to comfort her youngest daughter, who had been devastated.

None of this is compared to the revelations Ibrahim Pasha left behind in his resignation letter, informing the Sultan that he was in love with Hatice and could not bear to see her love someone else.

All this left the Valide Sultan dealing with a furious Sultan while also contending with her own rage with her youngest daughter. Luckily for Halime, these problems were far outside her responsibilities, and she would never have to worry about them.

Halime, who had been trained to massage her previous mistress, was quite good at it, thanks to her nimble fingers, which were able to knead and press without a break. Hatice, whose stress had increased from the moment she started to go after Ibrahim, had utilized Halime's skill. It had reached the Valide Sultan's ears that Halime was good, but nothing had come of it.

Or so she had thought.

But six weeks ago, Daye Hatun came to Hatice's chambers and informed the Sultana that the Valide had requested Halime for her skills.

So now, Halime arrives to the Valide's chambers, her little golden tray in hand, and she is immediately waved in by Daye Hatun. "Good morning, Valide Sultan," Halime stated with a bow, eyes trained on the floor.

Valide waved, "come, Halime. My neck is very stiff this morning."

Halime nodded and gracefully walked over to the bench before the fire, burning low given the early morning. She rubbed a mixture of calming oils into her fingers before turning to the Valide as she began to massage. For a short while, Daye and Valide reviewed harem details while Halime worked. She had long since learned to tune everything out lest she be accused of spying. This meant she started humming as she worked, focusing purely on soothing the Valide Sultan. Halime was so ingratiated in her work that it took the Valide twisting slightly to dismiss her when Hatice Sultan, tear tracks still on her cheeks, entered the room. Halime bowed and took her tray back into the hall with her, where Daye waited.

"You will say nothing of what you saw or heard," the harem treasurer sternly instructed. Halime bowed, "Of course not, Daye Hatun."

Daye studied the girl who had won the favor and trust of the imperial women. "If you keep this behavior, Halime Hatun, you will be certain to be matched with a worthy husband upon completing your service."

Halime couldn't hide a small smile. Every harem girl had two dreams; the first was that they walked the golden road. Halime, part of the group of the smart few that included Ayse Hatun, knew that this was unlikely with the rise of Hurrem Sultan. The second dream was to be manumitted, freed, and be married off to a nice man. Marriage and freedom were what Halime wanted. She would complete her remaining five years of service and be married off.

"Amin, Daye Hatun, Amin. It is all in the hands of the Valide Sultan. Still, while that is a beautiful future, I must focus on my present, which means getting back to the harem before Nigar Kalfa decides I should not have dinner today."

Daye cracked a soft smile, "Go on, Halime Hatun."

Halime bowed and hurried away. Hopefully, Nefise had secured the good pillows so they could sew next to each other. The Tailor would be coming soon with their latest finished pieces, meaning their older dresses had seen more wear and required patching.

Ayse Hatun is seemingly in an excellent mood today because she invites Halime and Nefise to sit with her while they sew. Ayse was beautiful and the first woman to walk the golden road in Topkapi. While she had never outright admitted that she knew her status as bas ikbal, the first girl to be a favorite, was as far as she would ever rise, Ayse worked hard to keep the favor of the lower harem girls, who would support her.

Halime doesn't mind. The harem is a game of power, and when someone with even a fraction of it took a liking to you, you accepted it. So, she and Nefise had joined Ayse's circle of girls as their free hour began. Nefise, unlike Halime, was a harem girl who had been brought in from Manisa only when the Sultan ascended. Halime had known her briefly in Manisa, and the younger girl had grown attached to Nefise. They were both from the same general area and had the same mother language. Nefise, however, is older, nearly 18, and two years away from completing her service. She was considering returning as a Kalfa, for marriage did not interest her. She is, for all intents and purposes, Halime's closest friend.

"Halime, you came from Manisa, didn't you," inquired Elif, Ayse's companion.

Halime nodded, unsure where this was going. The elder cariyes was not exactly the friendly type. "I did. But I arrived here during the reign of the late Sultan Selim. I am honored to accompany Gulfem Hatun."

Elif waved away the pleasantries. "Yes, we know this, but what was Manisa like? You saw more of it than others because you were in service."

Halime's lips twisted nervously, "well, in my prior service, I had the opportunity to see a beautiful mosque begin being built. But I mostly remained inside, like we do here. The gardens in the palace of Manisa are newer, so in my time there, every flower bloomed. They were beautiful."

This also did not seem to be the answer Elif sought, so she pushed further. "What about the Sultan? What was he like as a Sehzade?"

Halime furrowed her brow, "how would I know, Elif? I never walked the golden road, and I likely never will. I've been in service to Gulfem Hatun since I entered the harem. Now, can someone please help me undo this cross-stitch? I keep getting stuck."

That finally swayed Elif into ceasing her questioning. Halime hated when people asked her about her life before Topkapi. It's not like there was anything all that extraordinary about it, especially her life before entering the harem. Halime had been enslaved for six years. The first thing that she had learned was that the past was only good for making you sad.

Later that evening, the older girl turned to her friend as she and Hasna lay on their mattress rolls beside one another. "Why are you so sure you'll never walk the golden road? You're beautiful and young. You'll very likely get pregnant if you go."

Halime sighed, "None of that matters. Hurrem Sultan has two children with the Sultan. He's broken the rules for her. The harem now isn't the harem we used to know. Even with Mahidevran Sultan, he still occasionally took other women."

Nefise rolled her eyes, "that is because Mahidevran Sultan gave him a living son. He still speaks to Gulfem Hatun all the time for advice. Besides, you're well-liked by the sultanas. That has to count for something."

Halime nodded slightly, not wanting to draw too much attention to their hushed conversation. "That is why it is unlikely to happen, truly. The sultanas value me where I am right now. I am loyal and quiet. They do not wish to lose that, and they won't give it up for what is likely only to be one night."

Nefise turned on her back, sensing Halime's impatience beginning to run thin, "You assume you would only stay for one night. But I know you, Halime-m. You have never done anything by half."

Halime sighs, closing her eyes, "There is no point in worrying about it now, Nefise. Hurrem Sultan is not going anywhere, and I would rather not risk my life for one," hearing her friend huff, Halime corrected herself, "or two or however many nights."

Halime didn't know it yet, but she would never have a routine day in Topkapi Palace ever again.

Halime is an early riser. She doesn't ever get out of her bed before Nigar Kalfa makes her rounds, but she's usually awake. That's how she manages to make it to the hammam relatively early.

It's how she finds Ayse.

Halime doesn't remember screaming.

She remembers walking with Nefise to wash for the day when she sees a body splayed out in the corridor, a pool of red flowing around it. Halime remembers running over and feeling her knees slamming to the ground painfully as she tried to check on her friend. She remembers Nefise going to get agas and kalfas, anyone who will be able to help.

Halime doesn't remember screaming.

She must have, at some point, though. It is the only explanation for why her throat hurts. It must be why Gulfem has pushed a cup of warm tea into her hands as she shakes beneath a blanket. Gulfem, who has always been so motherly toward her, pets her hair gently. Two of the girls in the harem had helped her change out of her blood-soaked gown, so there was no sign of the crime, but she had been brought to Hatice Sultan's chamber when the news reached them.

It's spring, Halime isn't sure why she is so cold, but there is no amount of warmth, not from the fire, not from the blanket or the tea, that seems to be able to make her stop. All Halime can do is stare at the floor as the fire crackles in front of her. Her mind is trapped in a loop, where the only thing running through her mind, over and over and over again is that today was supposed to be a routine day.

Halime misses yesterday.

Chapter Text

Ayse's murder had rattled the whole palace. How could it not? She had been an Ikbal, someone who had loyal cariyes with her nearly constantly, and yet, the killer had gotten to Ayse. Not only had they killed an Ikbal, but the murder had happened close to the harem. While no one would say it out loud, they had all reached the same conclusion; there was a murderer amongst them.

Halime, who had, along with Nefise, found Ayse's body, had spent the remainder of the day in the care of Gulfem and Hatice. Both women had grown very fond of the 16-year old cariyes. Seeing her so silent when she seemed to always be singing or humming was incredibly off-putting. Though Nefise had helped her change into a clean gown, Halime had kept tugging at the sleeves, expecting to see blood on them.

The only reminder of what happened, other than the vision burned into her memory constantly repeating, is that Halime's throat hurt.

That was what had made coping with the death that much harder. Music, and specifically singing, comforted Halime. Though she could not remember her mother's face, name, or voice, the words and tune of the lullaby she had sung to Halime were still in her mind. She could sing the entire song, even though it had been eight long years since she had heard them last. Even in her saddest moments, the song from her past could bring Halime some comfort.

But for a little while, it hurt to sing.

The physician, Fatma, had assured her that the pain would go away in just a few days. As long as Halime continued drinking warm beverages and sitting in the steam of the hammam every day, she would recover. The bruises on her knees from when she slammed onto the stone floors would also fade away so long as she diligently applied the balm. Halime would walk away without any consequences from the incident.

No physical consequences, at least.

The nightmares, though, had plagued Halime for days before they faded away. Ayse's empty eyes stared at her in mirrors, and she had been running late in her service because she had been taking the long way to the hammam. Halime didn't care and had practically been a ghost haunting the harem. However, she returned to her duties the day after everything happened.

Meanwhile, Valide had determined that, with Hurrem's banishment for Ayse's murder, the harem should be returned to its regular functions, and Halime had been returned to Gulfem's service. Now that Ibrahim and Hatice were to be married and Hurrem was gone, Valide's stress had seemingly evaporated into thin air.

That was another thing. Hurrem Sultan was many things; possessive, beautiful, and rude on more than one occasion, though not to Halime directly, but she was no murderer. The fact that the Sultan had so easily believed that the woman he loved was capable of such a heinous act made Halime wonder whether there was anything a woman could do to be worthy of him.

More importantly, she wonders who the real killer is.

The desire to find the murderer burns within Halime. This sudden desire to investigate is unpleasant and one she has to push down. Halime is known as a sweet, charming girl. Pushing the other hatuns to investigate when Ibrahim Pasha was would ruin her reputation, and Halime. At the same time, while she had quite liked Ayse, Halime would not risk that.

After all, Ayse is part of the past now, and there is no use dwelling on the past.

So Halime returns to her duties, accompanying Gulfem throughout the older woman's day. With Hatice Sultan's approaching engagement and wedding, Gulfem spent most of her day in the Sultana's chambers, helping her pick fabrics and listening to her dream about her picturesque future.

Halime knows that both Gulfem and Hatice are hopeful that being privileged to witness Hatice's personal wedding preparations will cheer her up. Halime hopes so too. This feeling of emptiness, of dread every time she has to round a corner, is miserable, and feels like it will follow her forever.

What actually cheers Halime up is Sehzade Mehmed, Hurrem's son, who had been separated from his mother when she was accused of murder. The young prince's melancholy had caused both Hatice and the Valide to be concerned. Valide had brought him with her for the afternoon while Hatice was being fitted. The maid carrying him had been sent out, and Halime had been trusted enough to care for the young Sehzade.

So now, while Hatice is pinned in dozens of places along the gorgeous ruby fabric that will be her wedding gown, Halime is quietly singing to the Sehzade, who surprisingly calms in the young girl's arms. Gulfem's attention is split between her young maid and her closest friend, her relief at hearing Halime sing again welcome.

Gulfem doesn't notice immediately, but eventually, she notices how Valide is staring at Halime. It is calculating in a way that is all too familiar, and something icy cold grips the Hatun's heart.

The first time Gulfem remembers seeing that look not directed toward her, it had been aimed at the Circassian beauty that would become Mahidevran.

Gulfem's heart breaks a little at the realization, both for herself and Halime. There would be no coming back from a walk down the golden road, Halime wouldn't be able to serve Gulfem anymore, and her dreams of a marriage would never come to fruition.

All for one night.

But there is nothing Gulfem can do, nothing she can say. The Valide Sultan is the head of the harem, and she gets to decide which cariyes walks the golden road. Halime has always been a cariyes, and it has always been possible that this would be her fate.

So be it.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Indeed, as soon as the Valide is back in her chambers, she sets her plan into action. "Daye, I will not waste this opportunity any longer. We must find a suitable woman to send down the Golden Road to my son. We cannot let him yearn for Hurrem."

Daye nodded, "Yes, my Valide. Would you like me to discuss suitable girls with Sumbul Agha?"

Valide Sultan paused momentarily, peering out the window that allowed her to see Hatice's balcony. "No. I have someone in mind. Fetch me Halime Hatun."

Daye's face twists, but, as is her role, says nothing other than "Of course, Validem," and slips out of the room to do as she is told.

When Daye returns with Halime a few moments later, the young maid doesn't think anything of the summons. After all, she has only been off the Valide Sultan's service for a week. Perhaps another massage was needed.

The Valide studies the beautiful young girl whose life she is about to change. "Do you play any instruments, Halime Hatun?"

Halime nodded, "Yes, Validem. Nigar Kalfa has taught me to play the Oud."

"And you sing as well, don't you?" This was not a question that needed answering, for Valide had heard Halime sing quietly to Mehmed while she worked.

"Yes, Validem. Nigar Kalfa tells me I sing decently."

Daye stood behind Halime and hid a smile. Nigar was not one to dish out compliments to the girls, but that was close enough. Halime has one of the most beautiful voices in the harem.

"This evening, there will be a small dinner for the Sultan, with Hatice Sultan and myself. You will sing for us tonight. There will be no dancing, and you will be accompanied by someone else to perform an instrument."

Halime's eyes widened as she bowed, "this is a great honor you are showing me Valide Sultan. I am most humbled at the opportunity. Thank you."

Valide smiled, "go and prepare. Daye will have you excused from your day."

Halime nodded, bowing again and hurrying out of the room. She would have to tell Nefise! How exciting. She rarely got to sing out loud, the other girls only liked to hear her sing in the hamam, where her voice echoed, creating a pretty melody. The rest of the time, they got annoyed with her humming.

Both Daye and the Valide watched Halime practically bounce out of the room. Once the doors closed, Daye returned to her mistress, "Valide, are you sure Halime is the right choice?"

Valide nodded, "yes, Daye. Halime is very loyal to our family. She loves Gulfem Hatun, and Hatice. She will love the Sultan. Besides, she is a beautiful girl, and is an appropriate fit for him. This will work out very nicely."

Daye nodded, taking the hint. Halime had been chosen to walk the golden road. From the sound of it, the Valide intended for Halime to be a repeat visitor, someone loyal and, more importantly, innocent enough to remain truthful to the imperial family.

Mahidevran had always been someone very good at seeming like she was on your side, but Valide and Hatice, for that matter, both know better. The mother of the eldest son wields the most power, for she is most likely to be the Valide one day. Her focus is on running out the clock. Hurrem certainly loves Suleyman, but she does not care for his family. Halime, with her blind adoration of Gulfem and seemingly growing attachment to Hatice, would make for an excellent insider into Suleyman's most personal secrets.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Daye had chosen Nefise to play the Oud alongside Halime's singing, which is a relief. Halime had gone from excited to be able to sing to nervous about singing in front of the Sultan to worried she would wind up in the dungeons if she made a mistake.

Nefise, on the other hand, was having the time of her life. Nigar Kalfa had brought the two girls to the room used to get ready for halvet. "I've never been the one getting ready before! There are so many scents to choose from, I can hardly decide."

Right, if Halime is remembering correctly, Nefise had grown up near a flower field. It is one of the only things she remembers from her life before. "Nefise, what does it matter what we smell like? We're providing music."

Nefise rolled her eyes, "we're getting to make ourselves look beautiful, Halime. I am not going to waste the opportunity. Hurrem has been gone for a week, and Valide Sultan has not sent anyone down the Golden Road. All of these things are sitting here wasting."

Halime sighed, "Hurrem Sultan, Nefise. We do not need to wind up in the dungeons because you decided to insult the mother of a Sehzade."

Her best friend huffed, "You are the only person in this whole harem who bothers to respect her, Halime. Not even Valide Sultan speaks kindly of the mother of her grandson."

"Well, neither of us is the mother of the Emperor of the world, Nefise. Please come and help me lace the back of the gown. Valide told me I have to wear blue and Nigar kalfa found this pretty one."

Nefise rose and yanked the ribbons in the back of the corset tight, forcing Halime to breathe out, "Not too tight, Nefise! I have to be able to breathe to sing!"

Nefise laughs and loosens the ribbons slightly before tying them neatly so that Halime looks neat. She then turns to the chests of dresses and decides on a pretty red gown that nicely compliments her olive skin tone.

Halime brushes out one of the coils that had been done too tightly by the heated wand and decides to ask the question on her mind, "Are you scared, Nefise?"

The 18-year-old studies the younger girl, pausing before answering, "I am not scared; that is not the right word. I am worried, certainly. There are several ways tonight could conclude. But I am not the one the Valide Sultan has chosen. Halime, your life is going to change. There is no way, not with your voice and your beauty, that you will not attract the Sultan's attention. You have been chosen to walk the golden road, and I will be the first to say it. Maybe you will one day be the mother of your own Sehzade. So I will ask you the same question. Are you frightened?"

Halime didn't have the chance to answer, because Daye Hatun bustled into the room, "let's go, ladies! You are to be there before the imperial family."

That night, with the imperial family dining together for the first time in almost two months, Halime sang beautifully.

It had been a long time since she had felt comfortable singing, both from the worry of hurting her voice after her screams, and from feeling sad. It had only been Sehzade Mehmed who had made her feel it was ok, the sweet boy clearly missing his mother's own singing.

Now, Halime is singing in front of the Sultan, and Halime feels joy, for she can sing as much as she wants. The song flows through her body, and she sways slightly. The Sultan's eyes follow her for a few moments each time. Valide is obviously thrilled as the meal progresses, watching her son watch the young girl. The real reward, however, comes at the end of the evening.

As the desserts are placed, and the meal begins to wind down, Halime chooses to sing her favorite song, a love poem that she had read in a book in Manisa, and one she had loved ever since. The book instructed that the poem be set to music that is soft, melodic, and Halime decided it should be acapella. The song always made her close her eyes to sing, for to Halime, the words promised a beautiful, happy love together with someone, her dream.

It is one of the Sultan's favorite poems. He had found the same book in Manisa and read through the entire thing. Though he could order anyone to sing it for him, he never had before. So now, he is mesmerized as he watches her sing, not looking away for even a moment. Halime's voice eventually becomes the only sound in the room, as the whole family stops to listen.

Halime opens her eyes when she finishes, and when she does, she is greeted by applause from the whole imperial family. Her face lights up scarlet, and she hurriedly ducks into a curtsy, stepping back so the family might finish their meal.

Valide, meanwhile, clapped delightedly. Halime was beautiful, pious, and perfect for her son's needs. "Well done, Halime. God has blessed you with great talent."

Halime gasped at the compliment, "Valide Sultan, you are most kind. I am humbled that you have allowed me to sing for you and provide you with entertainment this evening."

Suleiman watched as Halime remained humble in the face of quite an enormous compliment. If anything, she actually looked a little terrified at the idea of being so talented.

"Halime, thank you. You and Nefise may retire for the evening."

Halime bowed again, and Nefise and she quickly exited. If she had been allowed to look up while doing so, Halime might have noticed Suleyman's eyes following her as she went.

As soon as they are far enough away, Nefise squeals delightedly. "Halime! The Padishah could not take his eyes off of you. Everyone was enthralled. You were beautiful and perfect."

Halime giggles slightly at her friend's enthusiasm, "thank you Nefise. I hope Valide Sultan was happy. I love singing more than anything. Perhaps she will allow me to continue."

Nefise rolled her eyes at her friend's consistent refusal to acknowledge reality, "Halime, the Valide was leading the applause, yes, but you cannot seriously think that this will not lead to you walking the Golden Road."

Halime shook her head, "no Nefise. The Padisah has Mahidevran Sultan, and I am sure Hurrem Sultan will be proven innocent. I will not be called."

Chapter Text

In Halime's defense, all of the precedent had led her to think she would not be wrong.

In the morning, she returns to her duties in Gulfem's service. The older woman seems hesitant to join Hatice, as though she is trying to hide away. Unfortunately, there can be no hiding, so, reluctant though she is, Gulfem joins Hatice in Valide Sultan's chambers, and Halime dutifully follows.

For a little while, the women are all working on sewing. Halime is stitching a hole in one of Gulfem's gowns while Gulfem and the two Sultanas work on pieces for Sehzade Mehmed. Every few minutes, Gulfem's attention shifts to Halime, and then to the door, seemingly waiting for something.

When there is a knock on the door to announce Sumbul Aga, Gulfem's face drops, and she gets what she is looking for.

The head aga of the harem bows, "Sultanim."'

Valide studies the man, "what is it, Sumbul Aga?"

Sumbul smiles slightly, "Valide Sultana, Hun-Kharim has requested that you send someone down the Golden Road tonight."

Valide smiled. "Excellent. Sumbul you and Daye should go and pick an appropriate girl, but bring her to me first."

Sumbul stuttered slightly, "I apologize, my Sultana. Hun-Kharim has requested that Halime Hatun walk the Golden Road."

All eyes in the room flick to the concubine in question, who has dropped her needle in shock.

Valide's smile turns smug, "as my lion commands." Turning to the young concubine still frozen in shock, she orders, "Halime Hatun, you must go and prepare. You are to serve the Sultan tonight."

Halime's body reacts to the order instantly, despite still being in shock. She dips into a curtsy, and is guided out of the room by Daye. Sumbul takes charge once in the hallway. As the head aga of the harem, it is his responsibility to prepare the girls for halvet. "Come, Halime Hatun. Emine Kalfa awaits you. I have chosen Nefise Hatun to help you prepare."

Halime nods, but does not follow immediately. Daye, who knows the young girl well, intervenes, "Sumbul Aga, allow me a moment alone with Halime Hatun. I will send her to you."

Sumbul's smile drops but he cannot argue with the treasurer of the harem, and so only nods.

Once he is down the hall, Daye turns to the young girl. "Hatun, what is wrong?"

Halime bursts into tears, "what about Gulfem?"

Daye sighs. Of course. "Halime Hatun, you will still be able to see Gulfem. You will be a Gozde following halvet, and so you will cease serving her, but she can still call on you, and come to visit."

Halime shook her head mournfully, "but she is his too. Will she be angry with me?"

"No, Hatun. Gulfem Hatun is the Sultan's first woman. She knows the rules better than anyone here. Besides, you wanted a family one day, and that would mean leaving Gulfem Hatun's service as well. Now come, we must begin to get you prepared."

Halime sighed wetly, "yes Daye Hatun."

Halime didn't just want a family, she wanted a husband to have children with. One man that would love only her.

Now she is losing it all.

It is all she can think about, over and over and over. Her dreams have come crashing down around her, and there is nothing she can do.

It's running through her head the entire time she is getting ready. Halime is quiet while Nefise dumps water over her head, she is quiet when Nefise curls her hair while Halime rouges her cheeks, and she is quiet when Emine Kalfa reveals that Valide Sultan has picked her dress, a white gown with pearls beaded on the bodice and sheer long sleeves.

Nothing Halime says will change anything. Her fate was sealed the day she came to Topkapi with Gulfem. The moment that Valide Sultan had known Halime was loyal to her family above all was the day she had become a viable option for halvet.

The only thing she says, when it is just she and Nefise, is a quiet sentiment, one that is filled with resignation. "I have to get pregnant."

Nefise startles, "Halime-m?"

Halime stares at her reflection in the mirror. "If I want a family now, I will have to get pregnant. I will have to make the Sultan like me enough so that I can carry a child."

Turning to her friend, Halime stated her new truth, "I have to have a child, Nefise. It is my only chance."

Nefise is shocked into silence. Halime's eyes do not hold any joy at the idea of being a mother. Rather there is only an empty sort of determination. Halime will give the Sultan a child. That will be her destiny now. Then, as though she has built a wall in her mind, Halime smiles, soft at first, before it gets wider. "I'm to be the first to walk the golden road since Hurrem Sultan, Nefise. You were right. Perhaps you should study astrology."

Nefise takes the segue for what it is. "Mm. I'm sure Daye Hatun would be thrilled at that. No Daye Hatun, I no longer wish to be a Kalfa, I wish to predict the future, because that is not sacreligious."

Both girls devolved into giggles, though Halime's are certainly forced in the beginning. Halime's tension eases as she finishes getting ready, the mental block seemingly doing its job. There is no point in being devastated if nothing is going to change.

Her dreams of marriage and a family are a thing of the past. She buries them like they buried Ayse.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Halime was born a Christian, as many of the harem girls were. Unlike some of the older girls, however, Halime is not religious. She had been taken as a child, and while her former master had not forced conversion, she certainly hadn't been allowed to attend church. So Halime hadn't actually practiced in years, her faith reduced to the small cross she wore around her neck always.

Until now.

It is the last thing in the world that ties Halime to her life from before, and so she hands it to Nefise when they part. "Please take care of it for me," she says with a whisper.

Nefise nods, for even though she has not been Christian for many years at this point, she knows how important the little piece of silver is to the 16-year-old. "Of course."

Emine Kalfa clears her throat from behind the two girls, "come, Halime Hatun. It is time."

Halime squeezes Nefise's hand tightly, before pulling away, a small smile on her face.

Everyone watches as Halime makes her way down the path and through the double doors, which quickly close behind her. When it is only Emine Kalfa, Halime, Sumbul Aga, and two guards, Emine begins to give instructions. "You will be polite and respectful, as you always are. The purpose of halvet, your purpose, is to make His Majesty happy. Do not plan for any future, think of it only as one night. If you make him happy, he will shower you with gifts."

Halime nodded, "yes, Emine Kalfa."

"Tonight is a Wednesday night, and as you know, Thursday belongs to the Kadins. As it is only Mahidevran Sultan, the Sultan might decide to keep you. Do not expect it, and if he does, you will only focus on pleasing him."

Halime only nodded, and then Sumbul took over as they approached the Sultan's personal chambers. "When you enter the room, you will curtsy. You will kiss his robe. You must make sure not to look him in the eye. Speaking loudly and laughing are forbidden. If you follow these instructions, and do your duty, you will make His Majesty very happy."

Halime nodded, inhaling deeply, as they turned down the hallway where the Sultan's chambers lay. Emine Kalfa placed one hand square on Halime's back, both to keep the young girl moving, and to provide a little comfort. "Do not worry, Hatun. The Valide Sultan and Hatice Sultan both find you favorable. I am sure the Sultan will find the same."

Halime nodded, but did not move, "Emine Kalfa, will, will you wait for me, until I am dismissed?"

Emine shared a look with Sumbul, who shrugged. It wouldn't be out of the question. "Alright, Hatun. I will be here when you are done."

Halime sighs in relief, "thank you. I am ready now."

So Sumbul steps forward and knocks on the beautifully carved doors. Halime only has a moment before both doors swing open, and she is allowed to walk in.

The Sultan is facing the doors when she walks through. Immediately, Halime drops into a bow, head tucked against her chest. After a moment, head still bowed, she approaches, and kisses his robe.

After that, she waits, though only for a moment, before he is lifting her up. Halime keeps her eyes down, even as the Sultan's hand cups her face. "I would like for you to sing the song you sang last night. The love song."

Halime nods, her eyes still focused on her feet, "of course, Hun-Kharim."

The Sultan takes her hand and pulls her toward his divan. He sat on it and she remained standing.

Taking a deep breath, Halime closed her eyes and began to sing. With her eyes closed and the comfort of a song she knows well, Halime is able to relax somewhat, swaying slightly as she sings. The song isn't all that long, and just three minutes later she opens her eyes again, forgetting that she is not to look at the Sultan.

Halime's blue eyes meet the Sultan's own, his eyes so bright they pierce the soul. She hurries to look down, but he rises and lifts her chin. When he finally sees her eyes again, Suleiman leans over, and kisses her. Halime responds shyly, and when he pulls away to breathe, she is left a little dazed.

"You sing beautifully, my bulbul."

Halime blushes. The Sultan has just called her his songbird. "Thank you, Hun-Kharim. I am happy that my singing pleases you."

He grins, a beautiful smile that splits his whole face, which causes Halime to smile back, "Suleiman, my bulbul. Suleiman."

Halime's smile widens, "Suleiman," she parrots back, saying his name for what would come to be the first of many times that night.

Suleiman's eyes glow in the candlelight, and something mischievous twinkles, which is the only warning Halime gets before he is kissing her again. After a moment, he lifts her, and she gasps into the kiss. Still, he does not pull away from her until she is laid out on his bed.

Now that Halime has seen Suleiman, she can hardly tear her eyes away. Even as he unlaces her gown, and then kisses his way up her legs, Halime does not stop looking. He is taking his time exploring this new body that belongs to him. There is no rush.

He is a lion, a predator, and she is his songbird, his prey. He has begun his hunt, with one goal in mind;

Suleiman wants to see how many different ways his bulbul sings.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Halime rises first in the morning, her body used to the harem's clock that manifests itself each morning in the form of Nigar Kalfa. She quietly slips out of bed and begins to put back on the gown she was wearing last night, when Suleiman awakens. "Halime. Where are you going?"

The cariyes flushes the same pretty red she did last night, "I did not wish to stay beyond what is appropriate, Hun-Kharim."

The Sultan tuts lightly, "Suleiman, Halime. Come back to bed."

Halime can't help but beam and do as she is ordered. "Good morning, Suleiman."

Suleiman pulls her down so she is resting on top of him, making Halime giggle, which causes him to laugh in turn. "Mm. A good morning indeed."

It is the first of many that they will spend together. This first morning is when Halime seemingly comes alive, especially once Breakfast is served. Halime is fascinated by all of the different foods, which makes Suleiman laugh. The harem doesn't get served anything nearly as nice as what is on the magnificent golden tray before them, and in between feeding him bites of food, Halime is delighted to try new things. He decides right then and there that he will keep her.

In between the meals they keep busy. Suleiman recites poetry to her, Halime sings different songs for him, they make each other laugh and smile, and still find plenty of time to do, well, other things. Thursday passes into Friday without either of the two ever leaving the room.

That Friday morning, Suleiman leaves to attend morning prayer, but not before instructing Halime that she should be waiting for him when he returns. Halime is half asleep still, but promises. When she does manage to drag herself out of bed and dress, she is greeted in the hall by Emine Kalfa, who looks very very smug.

"Good morning, Halime Hatun. I waited and I waited for you, but eventually one must sleep."

Halime flushed, remembering her nervous plea to the woman two nights previously. "I, yes, of course."

Emine looks like she wants to laugh, but she is a Kalfa of the harem, poised and well-mannered. "Come. Nefise and Elif Hatun await you in the hammam."

Halime's brow furrows, Elif again. How odd. The older girl has seemingly decided that one way or another, she will become a central part of Halime's life now that Ayse is gone.

It's not like Halime has any reason to protest her presence, so she only nods.

By the time Suleiman returns to his private chambers some time later, Halime is comfortably ensconced on the Divan on the terrace, reading a book of poetry he had picked for her. She is dressed in a pretty light pink gown with gold accents, another pick by the Valide Sultan. All of the gowns Halime has worn have been light, as though Valide is trying to convince her son that his newest paramour is pure and innocent.

He comes up behind the divan and places a hand on her shoulder, startling Halime from her reading. She turns around and beams up at her lover, "Suleiman. How was your day?"

He came around the other side and she made room for him. Halime wants to lean against him, but is not comfortable making that decision, so she waits for him to pull her back, which he does. "Busy. But now I am here with you in my arms and I am at peace."

Halime sighs contentedly, "I am happy to help you feel at peace, Suleiman. It is my greatest joy."

A lie, but a small one, small enough that if Halime repeats it frequently, she might convince herself it is true.

Suleiman pulled her chin up, and kissed her lightly, then more passionately. They stay this way, wrapped up in each other, until dinner is brought before them, and then, just like they had the previous two times, Halime and Suleiman return to the great big bed that they have spent most of their time in.

He finally releases her on Saturday, after three nights and two days together. Halime is not the person she was when she entered his rooms on Wednesday night, her hopes and plans for the future having shifted every hour she spent with the Sultan.

Her role in the harem has shifted too. When Halime returns down the Golden road, the first time anyone other than Nefise and Elif have seen her, she is immediately swarmed by the girls. "Halime! Where have you been? Were you in the dungeons?"

Halime laughed as the questions bombarded her, "I was in halvet, not in the dungeons. I have only been gone for two days, have you all missed me so much?"

Before the questions could continue, Daye Hatun and Sumbul Aga entered the harem, "Halime Hatun, gather your things," announced the Aga. "You have been promoted to the favorites wing as Hun-Kahrim's favorite. He has also deemed it appropriate to give you gifts."

The whole harem erupts into whispers. With Ayse's death, Halime is the sole favorite, making her the highest ranking concubine within the harem. 

Daye Hatun hands over a small box and a pouch of gold coins. Immediately, Halime kiss her hand, not bothering to open either gift. "Please send my most humble thanks to His Majesty, may we never know a time without him."

"Amen," echoed around her. While Sumbul summoned another Aga to help him move Halime's belongings, Daye was not done. "Come, Halime Hatun, the Valide Sultan wishes to see you."

Halime nodded, handing her new gifts off to Nefise. "Put them somewhere safe, please," before hurrying to follow Daye.

When she entered the Valide's rooms, she was greeted to the sight of not only Valide Sultan, but Hatice and Gulfem as well. Valide is smiling brightly. "Halime. Daye tells me my lion has finally released you from his den, and I wanted to see how you are."

Halime blushes, "I am well, Validem. The Sultan is wonderful and kind, and is a brilliant ruler."

"Excellent. You may join us for embroidery. A kalfa will bring you one of your bolts of fabric."

Halime nodded, sitting to Gulfem's left. "Thank you Validem. I am honored to join you. Emine Kalfa, would you please bring me the light blue fabric? I had laid it out on my bed before I left."

Emine nodded, hurrying to fulfill her orders. Halime turns to Gulfem, who is watching her pseudo daughter. With Hatice and Valide engaged in their own conversation about the approaching announcement of the engagement, Gulfem quietly whispered to the young woman, "He was patient with you?"

Halime nodded almost imperceptibly, "Yes, Gulfem."

Indeed, Suleiman did not like lovers who did not take pleasure from their time with him. He had marked her, certainly, and Halime is only thankful that the pink dress she has returned in is covering the bite marks that now litter her body along with a rainbow of bruising from his grip. He is a man, and he would seek his first, but he liked to be the reason someone enjoyed themselves.

And Halime most certainly had. 

Chapter Text

When Halime is released from Valide's chambers, she returns to the harem again, where Nefise is waiting for her. Halime grabs her friend, and Elif, who Halime is warming up to, and drags them upstairs with her, to the room Nefise indicates is now hers.

As soon as the doors have closed, Nefise hands over the little box that had come with the gold pouch. "What is it?"

Halime opens the jeweled lid carefully, and there, nestled on a red velvet pillow, is a gold ring encasing a large pearl. She immediately slips it on, and finds it to be a decent fit. "It's perfect," she sighs delightedly.

Elif is the one who notices the scroll in the box, "Halime, there's something else there."

Halime's attention returns to the small box she had placed on her table so she could put on the ring, and there, nestled underneath where the ring had been, there is a scroll. The message it contains is short and sweet:

Bülbülüm, (my nightingale/songbird)

While we are apart I hear your voice as it serenades me in my dreams. I look forward to hearing you sing for me when I am awake again.

It is only two short lines, but Halime can't help feeling giddy. Four days ago, her whole world view had collapsed, and she had had to rebuild her dreams for the future to include the Sultan. It is a relief to know that these new dreams might not be so far off. That while she might not ever marry, she is at least not alone in love.

Nefise studies her young friend knowingly, "I suppose, then, that the sadness you felt has since faded?"

Halime pauses, glancing at Elif before answering, "I think I will always be a little sad, Nefise. I will never marry now. If I come to be with child, and it is a son, his life, and mine, will always be in danger. There will be two princes ahead of him, which means his life will surely end at one of their hands. If I have a daughter, I will remain powerless and she will have no support. And right now, I am completely unprotected."

Everyone is silent for a moment, before Elif speaks, "you could convert. Become a Muslim. It is something that would endear the Sultan to you."

Halime inhales sharply, her hand moving to grip the cross necklace around her neck, except that she never put it back on when she returned from halvet. Nefise pulls it out of her own dress, the safest place for it. "I, I could."

Nefise hands the cross back to her friend, who traces it gently. There is nothing truly special about the piece of silver. Halime's family had been from a village, there were no diamonds and pearls. But it is the last thing tying her to her family. Sometimes, she thinks she sees them in her dreams. Always in shadow, because her mind cannot supply their faces. But Halime, Katerina, had been loved. The necklace was a symbol of that. Could she give it all up?

Elif, seeing the younger girl's internal struggle play across her face, shrugged, "it is merely a thought. You are not required to change your faith, and he will never ask it of you."

Halime stares at the cross for a moment longer before shaking her head, "but you're right, Elif. It is not as though I am a person who prays often, I have no connection to Christianity. You are right. I'll ask him to convert me."

There is no point in holding onto empty memories. As if trying to convince herself of this, Halime hurriedly tucked the cross into the bottom of her chest before returning to the pillows the other two girls are sitting on.

Elif, meanwhile, has seemingly gotten over her decision to remain quiet, for she speaks again, "you know, he'll likely change your name."

Halime tilted her head in confusion, "but Halime is a Turkish name."

Elif nodded smugly, "but he did not pick it. He might feel the need to change it."

Halime shrugged, "I have no great attachment to the name. It was bestowed upon me by the Valide Sultan for my loyalty, but what would he even change it to?"

The three girls begin to debate names and their meanings and Halime spends her first evening as a favorite surrounded by friends.

Maybe she'll never be alone again.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Halime's rise does not stop once she is promoted to favorite. Like Elif had predicted, the very next week, Halime is summoned to walk the Golden Road on Wednesday once again. Everyone knows she will not be back before Friday, but there is a level of decorum that harem holds, where it is technically supposed to be one of the Sultanas who takes Thursday night.

Except that Hurrem is banished, and Mahidevran is still being punished for her sins.

So, while Halime can't be called specifically on Thursday, she will certainly be in his bed that night.

It makes Halime nervous. Mahidevran is certainly operating with minimal protection since she had beaten, and very likely been the one to poison, Hurrem, but she is also the one with the most experience in the harem. There is a great deal she can do without ever being caught.

But Halime will not let her fear rule her mind. She had greatly enjoyed her first time with Suleiman, and looked forward to doing so again.

Apparently, so did he, because as soon as the doors close behind her, Suleiman is on her, kissing her deeply. Halime hadn't even had time to bow to kiss his robes.

When he does pull away, leaving Halime gasping lightly, she is flushed that pretty red he likes so much. "Suleiman. I have missed you."

"And I you, Bülbülüm." With that simple declaration, Suleiman pulls her toward the bed as he slips off the cream gown that had been picked for her.

Suleiman proceeds to kiss his way up Halime's arms, to her neck and chest, ghosting lightly over where her already existing bruise was beginning to fade. That dissatisfies him greatly, and by the next morning, she has a mirroring bruise on the left.

She stays with him again on Thursday, and after dinner, Suleiman returns to work on jewelry while Halime rests on a chair beside the desk. "Is that to be your wedding gift for Hatice sultan?"

Suleiman smiled. Unlike Hurrem, the idea that the gift might be for her did not even cross Halime's mind. "Yes bulbul. Tulips are the symbol of our dynasty and will adorn her neck the day she and Ibrahim Pasha are solemnized, so that she always remembers who she is."

Halime lets out a little sigh of contentment, "I am so happy for Hatice Sultan, though she will be missed here. She deserves wonderful things."

Suleiman was slightly overcome at Halime's kind words toward his sister. To wish something so wholeheartedly for someone, especially someone who had never wanted for anything, warmed him. He put down the tulips and moved to kneel between Halime's legs, causing her to gasp. "Suleiman, please do not kneel for me. I am not worthy!"

Suleiman laughed a little, kissing your new bruises and enjoying your little hiss, "I decide who is worthy, do I not? It brings me great joy to be like this."

With that, he lifts her in a way that is reminiscient of their very first night, and has her. Thrice.

When Suleiman is officially sated enough to rest, he looks over at his songbird, who is still coming down off her high. Halime is bright red, and the flush continues down her whole body. It is then he decides that her first piece of jewelry would have to be a necklace with a ruby. This way her neck would always be red because of him.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

On Friday, he kisses Halime awake before he leaves for morning prayer. She hurries to the hammam, where she will be alone given the early hour, and finds only Nefise and Elif waiting for her. "I will ask him when he returns," the favorite informs her friends quietly.

Elif nods, and since it had been her suggestion, takes charge, "you cannot be obvious in the way you ask. It cannot seem planned. You will say something like 'I want to see as you see it, to be able to love the world the way you do.' Things that will make him take it seriously. He has that beautiful terrace, you should be out there again when he returns. It will be better."

Halime nodded, grabbing one of Elif's hands in hers and squeezing, "thank you, Elif, for everything. Your kindness and friendship has been most welcome."

Elif smiled softly, "Ayse liked you. I can see why."

Halime sighed, as Nefise dumped a bowl of warm water over her head gently, "I wonder what she would think of all of this."

They had not been very close, Ayse and Halime, but Ayse had been the only favorite when she died.

Elif smirked, "she would have been jealous, but thrilled, mostly because it means Hurrem Sultan is gone."

All three girls burst into laughter, and finished getting Halime ready.

Just a few hours later, Suleiman finds Halime exactly where the girls had planned. Halime is leaning against the balcony, overlooking Constantinople and the Bosphorus in a gown of light green and gold, the sun's rays reflecting a glow around her. He comes behind her, and though she hears him approach, she does not react until his arms wrap around her waist. Leaning back against him, Halime smiles, "Suleiman. It's so beautiful here. Peaceful."

Suleiman kisses the top of her head, "it is. I come here every night to think and reflect. I am most at peace when I am here."

Halime sighs contentedly, simply enjoying his presence before she makes her move. "Suleiman, I, I wish to ask something."

"You may ask me anything, my bulbul."

Halime turned around in his arms to face him, making sure to look him in the eye as she did. "I wish to convert to Islam so that I may love the world the way you do, so that I may see life as you see it. Will you convert me?"

Suleiman studied her for a moment, his expression unreadable. "Truly? You want it in your heart?"

Halime brought one of his hands to rest over her heart, "I swear it. I have thought long and hard about what this means. Suleiman my heart already belongs to you, I just want to be worthy of you, and to be worthy of you, I want to share your faith."

Suleiman must have found what he was looking for because he nodded, and brought her over to his divan on the terrace. Grabbing a beautifully stitched blue blanket, he placed it over Halime's head and led her through the conversion.

When it was done, Halime beamed at him and Suleiman kissed her gently before announcing, "you will be Hasna now."

Halime tilted her head, confused. Of all of the names she, Nefise, and Elif had thrown around, Hasna hadn't been one of them. She had never met anyone named Hasna before. "What does it mean," she inquired softly.

"It means Very Beautiful and Goodness. You are magnificent in your beauty, both inside and out, and I have chosen a name that acknowledges both of those features, my beautiful bulbul."

Hasna, as she is now called, beams brightly, and eagerly responds when Suleiman kisses her. Certainly, she had never thought this would be the way her life turned out, but she could imagine a future, a forever, where she learns to love Suleiman above all else.

Except, hopefully, their children.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

The pattern of Wednesday to Saturday continues for three more weeks. Every Saturday, Hasna would leave the Sultan's chambers with new marks on her body, and a semblance of joy that she has never experienced before. When Hasna is with Suleiman, she feels free, the opportunity to pretend that she is just a girl who has fallen in love with a wonderful man who loves to hear her laugh and sing, who showers her in gifts, including a new bolt of fabric just for the engagement announcement.

On top of that, because she is now a favorite, and no longer required to do certain duties and chores for the harem, when Hatice or Gulfem invites her to join them, she can go, but not as a maid. For the first time, she is being invited as a friend.

Even Mahidevran, for all of her bitterness, seems to be able to withhold any extremely nefarious or dangerous behavior toward the young favorite, though she had sent a third party.

"Halime Hatun," called the wicked kalfa in service to Mahidevran Sultan. Privately, Hasna had always thought that Gulsah looked like she'd sucked on a lemon, her lips pursed with her eyes beady and watery.

Both Nefise and Elif, who are walking back from the hammam with Hasna, the long way, as she has walked every day since she and Nefise had discovered Ayse's lifeless body, freeze in place. Nefise's face plainly demonstrates how displeased she is to hear Hasna be referred to by her old name. Elif is impassive, though the glint in her eye indicates that she too is unimpressed.

Hasna, however, has been waiting. She, as all of the other harem girls, had borne witness to the blowout that had led the then newly named Hurrem to spend several nights in the palace's dungeons. "Gulsah Kalfa, good morning. Since you have not heard, I am happy to share the news with you. The Sultan, as is his right, has deemed it appropriate to change my name to Hasna. He has also ordered that everyone should use it."

It is as respectful of correction as one can make. Technically, Hasna isn't even obligated to do that. Gulsah is a kalfa, a servant. Hasna, while she is a slave, is a favorite. She outranks all but the Sultanas and Suleiman.

Gulsah's face soured, "I need to speak with you."

Hasna sighed lightly, making a big show of turning to Nefise and Elif, "wait for me at the end of the hall. This will only be a moment, after that I have been called to Hatice Sultan's chambers."

She says this loud enough for Gulsah to hear, to remind her of her place, and also of the protections that Hasna carries.

"Yes, Gulsah?"

Gulsah's beady eyes glare down at the girl before her. "You ought to know your place, girl," she hisses. "You are no sultana, you are a concubine slave. Your disrespect of Mahidevran Sultan has not gone unnoticed."

Hasna fiddled with her hands, the only outward sign of her nervousness. Mahidevran is a snake, certainly, but Gulsah is her venom. Still, "I do as the Padishah commands, Gulsah Kalfa, as we all do. Now if you will excuse me."

To Mahidevran's credit, the actual physical attack on Hasna had not yet occurred; she was waiting patiently, likely for after the engagement party so that there would be less attention on Hasna.

That was another thing. As Hatice's celebration approached, Suleiman had gotten busier. While they were certainly worrying over the engagement festivities, the advisors were also focused on war. Soon, the Sultan would have to leave on his campaign. Hasna hoped to be pregnant before he would have to leave, the desire to know she would have at least some form of protection during his absence.

It sits in the back of her mind week after week. Undoubtedly, Hasna adores her time with the Emperor of the World. Suleiman is smart, charming, and, in private, soft. She can see why Hurrem and Mahidevran fight over him so hard.

So one can imagine she is quite rattled when news reaches her that Hurrem has written Suleiman a letter, pleading her innocence. Hasna is sure that the Sultana has no idea about Hasna's name change and promotion, but she will find out one day soon. It frightens her, because that evening, Suleiman is distant. He has her sing for him, as he does often, but it goes on for longer than it has in weeks.

Lying in his bed after yet another passion filled evening, Hasna lay propped up in the bed against the pillows as Suleiman returned to his desk. He picked up a beautiful ornate box and returned to his young love. "Open it my bulbul."

Hasna carefully took the box from Suleiman's hands. Lifting the lid, she let out a small gasp. On a cushion rested a beautiful necklace, the image of a sun with a large ruby in the center. "Oh Suleiman, this is magnificent. I am not worthy of it."

Suleiman shook his head, smiling, "you are worthy of it, because it was made for you. So I will always be close to your heart."

Hasna moved her hair to allow Suleiman to fasten it around her neck. "You are so generous Suleiman, but I need no necklace to keep you close to my heart. When I am not with you, I yearn. My heart desires that I only sing sad songs until we are reunited."

Suleiman kissed her bare shoulders, "no sad songs my bulbul. You are mine, and for that, you should always be happy."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Everyone in the harem had thought that Hasna would be upset that Gulfem Hatun had been called down the golden road. Hasna, however, is thrilled. She had been there for the older woman after the passing of her son and daughter, and had seen the devastation of losing not only them but Suleiman at the same time.

Yes, Hasna is certainly concerned about what will happen if Gulfem were to fall pregnant from this visit, but Hasna can't bring herself to care all that deeply. She is in love with Suleiman now, but it is new. Hasna has loved Gulfem for years. She deserves her happiness.

Still, the relief she feels, though an unfortunate sensation, when Gulfem rejoins Hatice, Mahidevran, and Hasna just a little while later, is enough to be a balm. Hasna automatically moves down one pillow for Gulfe, as is required, but would not have been enforced. When Gulfem takes her seat, she gives Hasna's hand a squeeze, and then keeps it in her lap. No one says anything about that, not even Mahidevran.

No woman begrudges another comfort in the face of grief for their children, after all, and Hasna is the closest remaining thing Gulfem has to that.

Hasna is surprised though, when she is called to Gulfem's rooms that evening, just an hour before she will return to Suleiman.

After bowing, Hasna hurries to her now former mistress, who is sitting on her bed, and kneels by her side, not caring about her gown. "Gulfem-m, are you alright? Did the Sultan say something to upset you? I did not know he would call on you, I swear it."

Gulfem smiled softly, one hand pulling Hasna up to sit beside her, and then turned to face her properly. "No, Hasna, he did not upset me. In fact, he asked if he had, afraid that it was the case. He wanted to make sure I was alright. He believed that I was hurt and that he is being punished for it."

Hasna sighed, "but what happens between Hurrem and Mahidevran is not your fault! What can you do about two warring Sultanas?"

Gulfem laughed lightly, "do not worry, my Katerina. He believed me when I assured him of my feelings. Then we talked about Hatice Sultan, and you."

Now Hasna is confused, "me? But why?"

Suleiman studies his first woman closely, " I am glad you are with my mother and Hatice. The comfort you bring my family and I is welcome. How is Hatice? "

Gulfem smiled genuinely, " she is so happy, thanks to you. She is almost flying like a bird, Hun-Karim. You should see how happy she is ."

Suleiman nodded, a small smile on his lips, " you knew all along, didn't you?  You and Hasna."

Gulfem smirked, " I have been telling her to talk to you. I told her you respect love . Even Hasna, who had not yet met you, begged her not to hide from love. She has always talked about the importance of it.  But she was reluctant, she couldn't do it. So I had to keep her secret. "

Suleiman couldn't help but smile wider at the mention of his latest favorite, whose own ideals seemingly matched his. But it dropped a little, remembering how she had come to be in the palace in the first place. "I am sorry I took her from you."

Gulfem shook her head, "Hasna was never mine, Hun-Karim. Before she was my maid and my friend. Nwow she is simply my friend. She is also very happy all the time. Hasna has always loved to sing, and you enjoying her singing brings her a great deal of joy. I am happy she is happy."

Suleiman ducked his head, feeling ten years younger in the face of the first woman he had ever loved, "she loves you as well, Gulfem-m. She talks about you all the time, it made me realize how greatly I have missed you. We will continue to see each other, now that I realized what I want."

Gulfem smiled at her recounting, and Hasna beamed back, "I am so happy for you, Gulfem. I know how lonely it has been."

Gulfem sighed softly, "I may never have children again, and I will never get my children back, but I have you, and Hatice Sultan, and now I have the Sultan's friendship back. I am very happy as well. Thanks to you, my Russian songbird."

Hasna ducked her head. Funny, how the only two people in recent years that had ever made Hasna feel wanted were also the only people who called her songbird.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Finally, the day of Hatice's engagement celebration dawned. Hasna once again awoke in Suleiman's bed, the sun pouring in from the terrace. She sighed contentedly, snuggling close and preparing to fall back asleep but Suleiman, who is also awake, has other ideas apparently, because he flips over on top of her. How long he has been awake is unclear, but it is long enough that he has things on his mind.

When that is done, Hasna rises and helps Suleiman dress for the day, fixing his collar as she does each morning they spend together. "One day," Hasna proclaims, "I will figure out some way to make sure your collar does not fall every time."

Suleiman took her hands from around his neck, bringing them to his lips to kiss them. "I like when you fix my collar, so do not worry yourself with such a matter, my bulbul."

Hasna blushes, because she can't hide anything to save her life, and leans up for a kiss, one of the few things she actively seeks out on her own. Oh, she is still a shy little thing, and reverent toward him. But in their brief time together, Hasna had also won a place in his heart by learning to ask for what she likes. Suleiman likes a little boldness in his women, after all.

After that, they part so that Hasna can ready herself in her gown for the engagement, one that Suleiman himself had voiced an opinion on. He wanted them to match, in a way. Hasna could not outshine any of the Sultanas, obviously, but he had asked that she wear a gown with gold on it, to match his own gold accents. She feels beautiful in it, maybe because she knows her lover will admire her for their shared appearance.

Elif helps lace her in while Nefise focuses on pinning her veil. "Where are you sitting for this," inquired her new friend.

Hasna shrugs lightly, "I assume with you two. If I'm invited to join the Dynasty, then of course I will, but I would not dare assume."

Elif gives one final tug, forcing Hasna to exhale slightly. "Done. Don't forget your ring."

Hasna hurries to her little jewelry box, slips the ring on, and checks that her new necklace has not twisted, before straightening. "How do I look?"

Nefise smiles, "like a sultana. Now come! We can't be late."

When they make their way outside, the sultanas have not yet arrived, thankfully. Hasna, Nefise, and Elif, take to the pillows to the left of the tent. They sit for only a few minutes before the Imperial women make their appearance. Hatice is radiant, her smile lighting up the whole garden in a beautiful magenta gown as she takes a seat closest to the activity. Both Beyhan Sultan and Gulfem are in creams, with Beyhan featuring the gold accents that the family all tend to wear in one way or another. Mahidevran is in a peachy pink and gold, and while she spares a bitter glance in Hasna's direction, she is otherwise happy, likely because of the noticeable absence of her greatest rival.

It is only a few minutes more before the music is called to a halt as Sumbul Aga announces Suleiman. "Destur! Sultan Suleiman Khan Hazletri!"

He strides past the women in a cloak of black and gold embroidery, a smile on his face. Though he does not stop to greet them individually, his eyes do trace over Hasna as he continues to the men's side.

After the music begins again, Hasna can feel eyes on her from all sides. Mahidevran appears to be glaring at her, having realized that she and the Sultan match in a way. Gulfem is smiling, having realized the same. Hatice has glanced her way once or twice, as has Valide. Hasna isn't sure what they are looking at, but out of the corner of her eye she can see Sumbul Aga approach Daye, who in turn hurries to the Valide. It seems like nothing will come of all of the glances in her direction until a few minutes later, when Emine Kalfa approaches her.

"Come, Hasna Hatun, kiss Valide Sultan's robes, and wish Hatice Sultan congratulations."

Hansa only nods, rising from the pillows. There is no point questioning all that is happening, it is not for Hasna to know, no matter how much she wants to. She simply approaches the royal tent, bows, and kisses Valide's robes. Valide smiles and offers her hand, which Hasna also kisses. "Come, Hasna hatun, sit on the pillow beside Gulfem hatun."

Hasna is internally thrilled but only smiles slightly, "yes, Validem. Thank you."

So Hasna takes her seat. But only a moment later, she has to rise, shaken up by the sudden arrival of Hurrem. As a concubine, even as a favorite, she bows to her. Hasna is thankful she doesn't have to say anything though, because she is certain that she would swallow her tongue if she tried.

Watching Hurrem apologize to Mahidevran feels like a fever dream.

No, not a dream, a nightmare.

Hurrem shoots Hasna a look, likely confused as to why she is sitting in the tent, but doesn't pay that much attention otherwise. Hasna startles, realizing that Hurrem doesn't know she is a favorite yet. She still thinks Hasna is merely the well liked maid of the imperial family. She feels Suleiman's eyes on the back of her neck, studying her reaction to the return of Hurrem. All Hasna does is wait until Hurrem takes the pillow beside Beyhan Sultan's feet before returning to her own. She feels Gulfem's hand come to rest on her neck, comforting the young girl in the only way she can.

Not that it matters. Hasna's time with the Sultan is over. Hurrem is back, and she'll either find a way to kill Hasna, or return to her position as a favorite without any problems.

Hasna has somehow never felt more alone.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Chapter Text

Everyone is watching Hasna. Some are trying to hide it, some are far less subtle, far less caring, and simply stare at her. Hurrem, blessedly, does not seem to notice the stares though, her attention entirely devoted to Sehzade Mehmed, who Nigar Kalfa had brought to her as soon as Hurrem sat down.

She manages to make it through the rest of the celebrations, slipping away from the crowd toward the end of the afternoon. She is back in her room in the harem before any of the girls get back, and closes herself in until Nefise and Elif arrive.

Hasna's not waiting long. Nefise bursts into the room, Elif trailing behind her. Both have forced a calm look on their faces, trying not to give away their own worry.

It doesn't work. Hasna finally bursts into panicked tears when Elif closes the door. Nefise is beside her in seconds, "Hasna-m, it's alright."

Hasna shook her head rapidly, "she'll kill me. She'll kill me."

Nefise shushed her, "she didn't kill Ayse, why would she kill you?"

It is meant to be comforting to Hasna, who had believed Hurrem's innocence from the beginning.

It isn't. "Ayse didn't replace her. I did. I replaced her. She's going to poison me like she poisoned Gulnihal."

Elif's eyes narrow, "she will not. I will not allow her to. You have Nefise and I, Hasna. You are not alone in this."

Hasna swallows. She has not felt this afraid in a long long time. Not since she had been ripped from her mother's arms by slave traders nearly a decade previously. It is paralyzing, suffocating.

Nefise has her arms wrapped around her younger friend, as Elif comes to kneel before her. "Hasna, I know it is the last thing you wish to do, but you must show your face in the harem. If the girls think you are afraid, any shred of respect they might have for you will be gone. You have to be brave. Do not give them a reason to spill your secret."

Hasna shakes her head, "I can't. I can't go. What if Gulnihal or Esma see?"

Elif takes Hasna's hand in hers, gripping it tightly, "you can, Hasna. You must. Do not be afraid. Nefise and I are with you. No harm will come to you so long as we are here. You can do it."

Hasna sniffles for a moment, rubbing at her eyes like an exhausted child. After a pause, she finally nods. "I need to look like I have not been crying. Help me, please."

Nefise rises, letting go of Hasna in order to dip a cloth into the water bowl on the small table in the center of the room. She comes back and dabs at Hasna's face, rubbing away any tear stains. Hasna's blue eyes shine brighter than usual, as they do every time she cries, but none of the girls will make a comment about that.

Within a couple of minutes of cleaning her face, with Elif fixing her eye makeup, Hasna looks perfect.

"Are you ready," inquires Nefise.

Hasna swallows harshly before nodding. Elif pulls open the door, allowing Hasna to leave the room first. Quickly, so as not to chicken out, Hasna makes her way down from the favorites balcony, and takes the middle section of pillows, the ones that allow for a view of the whole harem, and vice versa. Most of the girls are still returning from outside, so the seats are open, and so Hasna simply sits herself down on the most center pillow, holding court. Nefise takes the left, Elif the right, and the three girls force a conversation. It turns nonchalant and real soon enough.

The whispers and stares do not cease for a singular moment, though any time Hasna manages to look away from her two friends, they pointedly halt. She hates feeling like a spectacle, but Hasna can't help but stare back.

Which of these girls will betray her? Which will reveal the truth to Hurrem Sultan in exchange for some modicum of favor?

Which girl is most likely to make the knife stolen off a kitchen tray necessary?

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hasna spends her first Thursday night in her new bed unable to sleep. Her body's internal clock is no longer used to being alone on Thursdays, and she is left restless.

She's not helped any when, the next morning, Hasna receives summons to the Valide's chambers. She cannot refuse, and so she hurries to dress, and, after a moment of hesitation, secures her necklace in place. The Sultan had all but ordered her to never take it off. Yesterday, the idea of doing so would never have crossed Hasna's mind. Everytime she was conscious of the sensation of the pendant against her heart, or caught its reflection in the mirror, it brought a beaming smile to Hasna's face. Today, Hasna wonders if this is the last thing she will ever receive from her lover.

But, Hasna tries not to let her melancholy shine through, instead plastering on a small smile as she goes before the Head of the Harem. "Good Morning, Sultanim."

Ayse Hafsa studies her son's young favorite, "come, Hasna. Sit for a moment."

After kissing Valide's offered hand, Hasna does as she is told, sitting on the pillow by Valide's feet. As soon as Hasna is seated, Valide announces her intentions. "Hasna, you will walk the golden road again."

Hasna isn't sure what to say. It feels like a trap. "I will of course walk if the Sultan calls on me, Sultanim. It is a privilege to do so."

Valide nods impatiently. "Yes. But I can also decide to send a girl down the golden road. Tomorrow, Hatice and I will go to see her new palace. We will bring Hurrem with us, so that your walk will be undisturbed. Daye Hatun will inform Sumbul Aga this evening, and he will escort you tomorrow, once we are out of the palace gates. Mahidevran Sultan will not disturb you either. Gulfem will make sure of that."

Hasna couldn't help but beam, "thank you, Validem. I will do my best to make the Sultan happy."

It is a relief to Hasna that the Valide had chosen her to walk the golden road once again. She could have picked any, but Hasna is still Valide's chosen woman. Whatever this plot is, and it is certainly a plot to keep Hurrem out of the palace, Hasna only has to go and do something she has come to love in just a few weeks.

It will be a breeze.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Ok, so Hasna might have been overzealous in her lack of worry.

She hadn't been feeling completely herself for the last week, mostly soreness and some bouts of nausea, which Hasna had worked diligently to ignore. Elif had more and more reluctantly supplied Hasna with a steady stream of tea and neck massages, getting irritated that Nefise would not push Hasna to see the physician.

Unfortunately, Hasna probably should have listened to Elif. Upon waking up this morning, she had experienced her worst bout of nausea yet, emptying the contents of her stomach into the bowl beside her bed. Luckily, Hasna had hidden it from her two friends, managing to empty it before they joined her to help get her ready.

Elif, though, realized that something was wrong when Hasna stumbled as she rose from her seat in the hammam. "Hasna. You're not well. You should not be going before the Sultan like this."

Hasna shook her head, even as she took some deep long breaths, trying to keep her nausea at bay. "I must. I can't disappoint Valide Sultan, and I want to see him. I miss him, Elif. It has been only two days and I miss him, and I don't know when I'll get to see him again. I'll go to the physician after I am released, alright?"

Elif shared a glance with Nefise, who stood behind Hasna. She superstitiously shook her head, causing Elif to sigh, and give in. "As soon as you are done. We will not even return to the harem before we go."

Hasna nodded, "I promise, Elif. I always keep my promises."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Meanwhile, Sumbul has gone before the Sultan to set the wheels of Valide's plan in full motion. "Hun-Kharim."

Suleiman did not bother to look up from the piece of jewelry he was working on, "speak."

"Valide Sultan has gone with Hatice Sultan and Hurrem Sultan to the Palace at Meydani." 

When Sumbul's words do not receive a reaction, he continues. "Hun-Kharim, Valide Sultan has ordered us to prepare Hasna Hatun for you."

That finally pulls Suleiman's attention away from his work. "Is that what my mother ordered?"

Sumbul nodded, "Yes, Hun-Kharim. She chose Hasna Hatun herself. If you will allow us, we will bring Hasna Hatun before you."

Suleiman smiled slightly, "if my mother believes Hasna should come, then she should come. Bring her to me."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

When the doors close behind Hasna, after Ibrahim Pasha had waved her through with a small smile of his own, as they have done dozens of times before, she is not immediately greeted by Suleiman. Frowning slightly, Hasna turns her attention to the balcony, where her lover is standing, looking out over the gardens. 

Hasna comes to the doors of the terrace, and bows, "Hun-Kharim," she states softly. 

Her voice snaps Suleiman out of his reverie, and he turns to face her, a bright smile on his face. He comes and immediately lifts her out of her bow, kissing her gently. "Bulbulum, I have missed you."

Hasna smiles dazzlingly, "and I you, my Sultan. But I am here now."

Once they are back inside, He cups her face gently, studying her. "You look pale, my Bulbul. Are you alright?"

Hasna nods quickly, "I am fine, Suleiman. I am perfect, now that I am with you again."

Suleiman is in the mood to be distracted clearly, because he does not push, choosing to instead make quick work of the ties holding Hasna's dress together. He kisses her as he does, Hasna helping him along. For a few minutes, the couple is entirely wrapped up in one another, unaware of the world outside of eachother. 

That is shattered by a terrifying scream, "MEHMET! Help, the prince is drowning!"

Suleiman leaps from the bed to run to the balcony. Hasna rises from the bed, but a wave of dizziness keeps her from following outside right away. She makes it just as Suleiman screams his son's name, "MEHMET!"

Thankfully the baby prince lets out a wail, indicating he is alive. Hasna sighs in relief, as Suleiman hurries from his chambers to check on his son. Hasna, who is still dizzy, remains on the balcony, relying on the railing for support. She is still standing there when Suleiman runs into the gardens, leaping over the hedges. It is only when she feels Mahidevran's eyes on her that Hasna realizes it is time to leave.

Hasna bows slightly, knowing that Mahidevran's eyes are still on her, and pushes away from the balcony. Slowly, oh so slowly, Hasna makes her way back inside and into the hall. Given it has only been a few minutes, not even Sumbul Aga is waiting for Hasna. Normally, that would make her nervous, but given Hasna's discomfort, she is a mess. 

What if Suleiman never calls on her again? What if he blames her for what happened to Mehmet? What if she is cursed now? Will she be thrown in the dungeons? Will she be banished, and, oh.

Hasna makes it around the corner from Suleiman's personal chambers before taking heaving deep breaths. She will go to hammam, like she always does after she leaves the Sultan's chambers, and she will feel better. 

Hasna manages two more steps before everything goes dark.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Sumbul arrives to retrieve Hasna five minutes after she has left. Finding her gone brings him momentary relief. Hasna is no fool, she would never try to stay after something like this has happened. 

He is not so lucky as to escape the wrath of Ibrahim Pasha, however. "Sumbul Aga!"

The Aga of the harem smiles tremulously, "Ibrahim Pasha."

"What is this?"

"What do you mean my Pasha," inquires the Aga nervously.

"What did I tell you? Didn't I tell you that nothing is to be done without my knowledge? Not even Hasna Hatun is to be brought without my knowing."

Sumbul frowns "I was going to inform you, my Pasha, but you weren't here. Valide Sultan wanted us to prepare her for halvet, she ordered us to bring Hasna Hatun."

Ibrahim tilts his head, surprised, "Valide Sultan," he whispers.

Sumbul nods, "yes, Pasha. But Hasna Hatun did not wait, she has returned to harem. She will not say anything, she is a good girl, loyal to the Valide. What can I do, when an order comes from high up?"

Ibrahim sighs through his nose, "go away. Bring me Hasna Hatun. Now."

Sumbul hurries to do as he is told. As soon as he arrives at the harem, he scouts out Emine Kalfa.

"Emine Kalfa, fetch me Hasna Hatun."

Emine Kalfa raises a brow, "you would like me to fetch Hasna Hatun from halvet? What have you done now, Sumbul Aga? She will not be done before the evening, we have some time."

Sumbul paled, "Hasna Hatun has left halvet. She was supposed to have returned here."

Emine's face smoothed out, "Nefise and Elif are both here. I will send them to the hammam, Hasna Hatun is likely there waiting."

Sumbul nodded hurriedly, "bring her to me, Ibrahim Pasha has summoned her."

Emine sighed, "nothing is ever simple. Fine. I will." Emine turns and finds that Nefise is already watching her. Good. Emine points one finger, and Nefise nods, grabbing Elif's hand, and together they make their way to the hammam. Hasna takes the long way around every single time, she won't have been waiting to long for them. 

Except, when the two maids arrive, Hasna is not in the hammam at all. "Emine kalfa, Hasna is not here," Elif informs.

Emine can't hide the flash of panic. Where is the Sultan's young favorite?

"Stay here. She must have gone a different way. I will bring her to you."

Emine hurries away from the hammam, leaving two very worried cariyes. "I should have forced her to the infirmary this morning," whispers Elif. 

Nefise sighs heavily, palm of her hand pressed to her eye, trying to push back a headache. "She wasn't ready to hear it yet. It needs to be told to her in a way that will not cause her to panic. Us in the hammam would have only made her worry."

"But now she's missing. What if she's hurt? What if something is wrong?"

Nefise rolled her shoulders back, "she will be fine. She has to be."

Emine Kalfa finds Hasna five minutes later, her young charge unconscious on the floor, hair splayed around her. She quickly kneels beside the girl, whose face is pale and clammy, "Hasna Hatun! Hasna Hatun, wake up!"

Upon receiving no response, Emine hurries around the corner, "Agas! I need help! Get Agas to help carry Hasna Hatun to the physician, now!"

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

The head physician of the imperial harem, a woman named Fatma, would, at the end of this day, quietly remark that she hoped to never experience anything like it ever again.

First, the crying Sehzade Mehmet, whose life had nearly ended thanks to a fall into one of the fountains. Sultan Suleiman stands over them all, threatening anyone he can think of. Oddly enough, Gulfem Hatun is the woman by his side, providing comfort to the young Sehzade, allowing Mahidevran to take her own son to their chambers so he may be soothed.

If that weren't enough, approximately twenty minutes after the prince is brought in, the doors to the infirmary burst open as a gurney carrying a still unconscious Hasna comes rushing in. Both Suleiman and Gulfem are immediately torn, before Gulfem offers to leave the Sehzade to check on the young girl.

Suleiman wants to hesitate, wants to go and check on his young lover himself, but sees something burning desperately in Gulfem's eyes, something he hadn't seen since their own children had fallen ill. So he sends her across the room, no matter how much he yearns to know.

A few minutes after that, Emine kalfa arrives in the room, having collected information from Nefise and Elif. She is protecting them by not bringing them to the infirmary while the Sultan is present, instead choosing to quietly relay the information, and the theories both girls shared with her. This causes Fatma to shift her focus on finding the calamity. After a few short minutes of poking and prodding, Fatma nods in confirmation, and Gulfem can't help but smile softly. She squeezes the still resting Hatun's hand before hurrying back to relay the news.

When Hasna awakens, it is to unfamiliar walls and quiet chatter.

She sits up slightly with a groan, her hand coming to the back of her head, which throbs slightly. Had she fallen? When?

She goes to bring her other hand to her face to rub her eye, but finds it is trapped in something. Hasna realizes she should open her eyes, and does so reluctantly, only to come face to face with a slightly amused Sultan. "Suleiman! Sehzade Mehmet! Is he alright? What happened?"

Suleiman shushes her, pushing her to lie back down with his other hand. "Mehmet is alright now. He is back in his mother's arms. You fainted in the hall on the way to the hammam. I was told you take the long way, so no one could find you in the beginning. They brought you in while the physician was checking Mehmet over."

Hasna flushed, "I, yes, I walk the long way. I am sorry. I do not know what happened. I remember feeling dizzy and then, nothing."

Suleiman gave her a look, "you were already not feeling yourself when you came to see me, weren't you?"

Suleiman knew the answer already, and now Hasna is glad she is lying back down, able to cower against the pillow, "I am sorry, Hun-Kharim. I didn't mean to spread illness, I just, I missed you, and I wanted to see you so desperately."

Suleiman takes pity on his youngest favorite, and shakes his head, "you are not ill, my beautiful bulbul. You are with child."

Hasna blinks owlishly before the brightest smile Suleiman had ever seen emerges on her face, "Am I really? I am to be a mother?"

Suleiman nods, leaning down to kiss her, "you are. We will have our child by the end of Spring."

Hasna grins, nearly in tears, "we're going to be a family."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

The physician releases Hasna into Emine Kalfa's care, though she is only in it for a few minutes before being escorted to the Sultan's chambers.

They can't be physically intimate together, now that she is pregnant, but he wants to spend the night with Hasna in his arms, their first as a future family of three.

Pregnant. She is pregnant. Her child, her family, her future, grows inside her at this very moment. Hasna can hardly believe it. She has dreamed of a child of her own for years. Where once that dream had come with the hope of a marriage to a respectable Effendi or Bey, her focus had changed with her becoming a favorite. It had been a dream for so long.

Now it is finally becoming a reality.

The next morning, Hasna rises and helps Suleiman dress for the day, fixing his collar as always. Suleiman takes his time getting ready, enjoying kissing Hasna as she readies him, thereby delaying. "You will go and see my Valide, and tell her the good news. I will see her later."

Hasna nods, "of course, Suleiman. I will make sure she knows."

Suleiman lifts her hand to kiss it, "I want gold and lokma spread in the harem by this evening. Our child will be celebrated. A piece of my bulbul and I together forever is something that must be enjoyed."

So Hasna makes her way to Valide Sultan's chambers, just as Daye Hatun has just stepped out. "Hasna Hatun? What are you doing here unannounced?"

Hasna nods, "I was just released from the Sultan's rooms, Daye Hatun. I have received news that I think the Valide Sultan would be most pleased to hear," she states, resting her hand obviously on her stomach.

Thankfully, Daye Hatun is no fool, and immediately a small smile crosses her face. "I will see if she is willing to grant you entry. You should know, however, Hasna Hatun, that Hatice Sultan, Mahidevran Sultan, and Gulfem Hatun are all inside as well."

Hasna's smile dims slightly at the mention of the mother of the eldest Sehzade, but merely swallows before nodding again to show her understanding. "Thank you, Daye Hatun."

Hasna is only left waiting a moment before Daye Hatun waves her in. Hasna walks to the foot of the stairs, quickly falling into a curtsy. "Valide Sultan. Mahidevran Sultan, Hatice Sultan. Gulfem Hatun, good evening."

Valide's piercing eyes are staring Hasna down, "Daye informs me you have news."

Hasna nods, still not looking up. Moving her hand back to her stomach, Hasna smiles at the floor, "Valide Sultan, it is my honor to tell you that I am pregnant with a child. They will be with us by the end of Spring."

Valide claps delightedly as Hatice smiles widely. Gulfem's own smile is a little dim, and Hasna wishes she could have waited to tell her privately, but the Sultan had ordered her to tell his mother, and so she must.

Mahidevran looks like she has swallowed a lemon.

"Wonderful! Another Sehzade or Sultana. We have truly been blessed by good fortune." Valide turns to Daye Hatun, "Daye, order that Sherbat and Lokma be spread in the harem so that the child is welcomed with many blessings." Then the head of the harem turns her attention back to the woman carrying her newest grandchild.

"Hasna Hatun, you carry my lion's child inside you, the future of our dynasty. You will have to be very careful. You will see the physician three times a week so that we can make sure to prevent anything. You will do no lifting, you will not run, nor jump, nothing. You must live quietly, and peacefully."

Hasna nodded eagerly, "of course, Sultanim. My life will be devoted to protecting this child."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Just as Suleiman had commanded, that evening Hasna stands on the favorites balcony with Nefise and Elif on either side, watching as Lokma and gold are distributed. Both Hurrem and Mahidevran are absent, as are their loyal maids.

No matter. Their presence would only lead to Hasna being insulted. The young girl could withstand a great deal, but to have to bear it constantly made it brutal.

"How long did you know," Hasna inquires softly.

Nefise is the one who speaks first, "two weeks. You never refuse roasted duck, and then it is served with dinner three times and you pushed it away each time. You were nauseous, and your chest hurt."

Elif sighs, "I don't know how it took me this long, but I figured out early this week, when your illness was starting to become more difficult to ignore. Stomach illness is common throughout pregnancy."

Hasna laughs lightly, as the girls in the harem start to realize just whose pregnancy they are blessing, "I hope not. I don't know how much of it I can handle."

Nefise grasped one of Hasna's hands in her own, squeezing slightly. "You'll be able to handle all of it. You're going to be a sultana, Hasna. I am sure of it. One day soon you will have your Sehzade."

Hasna sighs softly, "I hope so, Nefise."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Chapter Text

It seemed that both of Hasna's closest friends had some small gift of prophecy. Elif's words about sickness being common throughout pregnancy ring true. Hasna had hoped that now that she knew what was causing her to be sick, the tonics would take care of everything.

The problem is she can't exactly keep the tonics down long enough for them to help.

Even worse, just one week after Hasna's pregnancy has been announced, so has Hurrem's.

"A third child. I can't believe how lucky she is," bemoaned Nefise, as she and Elif sewed some baby clothes on the second bed in Hasna's room. The pregnant Hatun is herself resting propped against pillows, her hands unable to sew due to shaking.

Hasna sighs sadly, "this is the way now. Hurrem Sultan will always have more power. If it is a boy, as she believes it to be, it will mean even more trouble for my child."

Elif scoffed, "she will not be allowed to cause any trouble for your child, Hasna, whether it is a Sehzade or Sultana. We will protect them. If it means dying for them, then I shall do so happily."

Hasna jerked back, "do not say such a thing, Elif! You and Nefise are my only friends in the whole world."

Nefise tutted, "ah, but your child will become your whole world. So, let us be the ones to worry and do what is necessary. Besides, you're not as alone in the harem as you think. Now that you are pregnant, the girls have started to realize you might be someone they can be favored by."

The young future mother's nose scrunched in distaste, "I don't see what any of them could do to earn my favor. I have you two, and Emine Kalfa seems to quite like me. I have also begun to ask Habil Aga for things, so that we can form a working relationship."

Elif nodded, "good. Habil Aga has been here nearly as long as Sumbul Aga. He was brought from Manisa, so he knows the Sultan well. He is aware of many things, and his loyalty does not belong to anyone yet, though he favors Gulfem Hatun."

Nefise arched a brow, "speaking of Gulfem Hatun, have you gone to her yet, Hasna?"

Hasna huffed, "and when would I have time to ready myself, stop being ill, and slip away to do so, all without you or Elif noticing?"

The truth is, there had been at least two opportunities for Hasna to do just that.

But she is afraid.

All those years ago, when Hasna had joined the harem at only 12, Gulfem had taken the girl under her wing and became the closest thing Hasna would have to a mother ever again. Gulfem had been without her children for two years by the time Hasna, then still Katerina, came into her life in Manisa.

Gulfem had been listless, mostly, the planning of the soup kitchen sanctioned by the otherwise absent Sehzade Suleiman her only distraction. She had found Hasna to be sweet and friendly, and clearly seeking affection, something she wouldn't get from her then current mistress. They had spent four years together, after Hasna entered the harem.

In all that time, Hasna had never imagined that she would be the one to cause Gulfem some kind of pain.

"Hasna, you cannot put it off. You rely on Gulfem Hatun too much to cut yourself off from her like this."

Hasna sighs, knowing her best friend is right. "Fine. Elif, will you go and see if I can come to her rooms soon? And Nefise, that means I will need your help getting ready."

It is Nefise's turn to scoff, "Obviously. And I'm not lacing you into one of those new concoctions by the seamstress. Four ties through a single loop, honestly, what was she thinking?"

Hasna flushed, "I came up with it. I wanted to see if it would make it easier. I was working on something for the Sultan."

Nefise sighed, "I should have known. You love to come up with creative solutions, even if they're not the easy solution."

Hasna swatted her best friend, causing Nefise to squawk indignantly. Elif laughs, "you two could put on a show for the children, they would be endlessly entertained. Get yourself ready, Hasna."

She tries twice more to push off going to see Gulfem, but the girls manage to get her into the right hallway. "How do we know she's in her rooms? It's usually the time she is with Hatice Sultan."

Elif gestured with her finger, "she's there. I checked. Now go, Hasna. You are acting like a child. Gulfem loves you. She will be happy for you."

Hasna nodded, swallowing. Turning to the girls by the door, she instructed, "announce me please, and see if Gulfem Hatun would be willing to see me."

Unfortunately for Hasna, and fortunately for her two friends, Gulfem does in fact want to see her. She is standing in the center of her room when Hasna is let in. As befitting the fact that Gulfem outranks Hasna until she bears her child, Hasna curtsies. "Gulfem Hatun, thank you for seeing me."

Gulfem's brow furrowed, "of course. Why wouldn't I? Are you alright? Is the baby?"

Hasna nodded hurriedly, "the baby is fine. I was at the physician yesterday, and I'll be checked tomorrow."

Gulfem smiles softly, "Valide Sultan is taking extra precaution with your child. She wants to make sure Hurrem does not outnumber by too many."

Hasna returns a smile lopsidedly, twisting her hands together as she often does when she is nervous. Gulfem clocks it immediately. "Why don't we sit down? It is better for you to be off your feet."

Chewing her lip slightly, Hasna nodded, allowing Gulfem to lead her to the bench that wraps around the southern wall, parallel to her doors. Gulfem's room is smaller than the rooms belonging to Mahidevran and Hurrem, she is no sultana and has no children, but the Valide's love for the mother of her first grandchild shines brightly in the fact that Gulfem has a small terrace and big windows that can allow for light if she so desires.

Two months ago, a century of time in Topkapi Palace, if one were looking for Hasna, you could have found her curled up on the bench in the sunlight, sleeping like a cat.

Now it is alien to be in these chambers.

"Hasna what is bothering you, and don't try to deny it, for clearly there is something. Elif would not have sought me out otherwise."

And damn her for doing so.

Hasna gave a wobbly sigh, working to hold back tears that had appeared from nowhere. "I am to have a child by the Sultan."

Gulfem pulled Hasna's hands into her lap, "you are. Is that a bad thing?"

The adolescent concubine shook her head, "no. I've always wanted to be a mother. I just, I never thought it would be with the Sultan. I never wanted to be the one to hurt you in this way."

Gulfem took a deep sharp breath. "Hasna, there is no pain in the world that compares to that of having to grieve your own children, to watch them be carried away from you, never to return to your arms. Losing the Sultan on top of all of that felt simply less then. It hurts my heart still, for I will always love him, though we will never be together again. But, it does not mean that seeing you happy is not what I want, that seeing him happy isn't what I want."

Hasna is crying by this point. Her emotions have been a little unreliable since the beginning of her pregnancy. In the two months of her pregnancy thus far, Hasna had been crying, a lot.

"Hasna, don't cry dear one," Gulfem consoled, pulling the sweet pregnant hatun into her arms. "You are the closest thing I will have to a child ever again in this lifetime. The fact that you are happy, and getting to be a mother is something I wish for all those that I love. It is a joyful experience, one you will carry with you for the rest of life."

Hasna sniffles, "I am sorry I couldn't tell you privately. Suleiman ordered that I tell Valide Sultan immediately. I prayed the whole walk there that you wouldn't be with her."

"I know. Believe me I know, Hasna. But I would rather you always obey an order than try to protect me. You are to be a mother, that is true, but the child will belong to the dynasty, and Valide will not hesitate to take the child from you if she deems you unworthy. You saw her take Sehzade Mehmed."

Hasna had. The whole harem had borne witness to Hurrem's ruthlessness, her jealousy, when she willingly burned her best friend's face. After that, though the Sultan had not found out, Sehzade Mehmed had been brought to the royal nursery to be under Valide Sultan's care for a time. That hadn't been improved when Hurrem accused Mahidevran of trying to kill the princes.

Then Ayse.

"Do you think they will do it to me? WIll they take my baby?"

Gulfem shushed the girl still bundled in her arms. "I do not think so, Hasna-m. Hatice Sultan loves you, and the Valide is very fond of you. There is no need to worry about things that have yet to happen. Thank you, for coming to me. I know how difficult this must be."

Hasna nodded into Gulfem's chest, a quiet yawn escaping her. "Thank you, Gulfem-m."

Gulfem held back a laugh, barely. Hasna loved the feeling of sunlight on her face. "Why don't you rest here for a little while?"

Hasna sighed in relief, "that would be nice."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hasna's pregnancy progresses well over the following months.

If one asked the pregnant woman, however, they would receive any number of various answers as to whether or not she agreed with that sentiment.

To the Valide and Hatice Sultan, she was always gracious and grateful. "I know how privileged I am to be in this position, Sultanim. I would never do anything to risk the health of the child. I am so grateful to have this chance."

To Gulfem, "I am so tired all the time. The baby takes everything. Why did no one tell me that all you wish to do is eat and sleep and cry?"

That usually gets a laugh in response, or, as Hasna gets more hormonal, some sympathy.

When Suleiman, on the occasions he visits or calls for her, inquires about her well-being, Hasna rolls the dice. Usually, it is something sweet and innocent, something that reminds him what attracted him to Hasna in the long term. Something like, "I can't wait to be a mother, Suleiman. I feel them inside me and all I want is to be able to hold them."

But, as Hasna's pregnancy progresses, and her body grows at an unusually rapid rate, her exhaustion and aches become a near constant. Suleiman, when he sees her, is gracious enough to rub her aching hands in his own as the nearly 17 year old sighs in temporary relief. Then, in her most vulnerable moments, at the beginning of her sixth month, she admits the truth. "I am afraid, my heart. What if I am not a good mother?"

Suleiman pauses in his ministrations, studying his sweetest concubine, his future sultana, whether with this pregnancy or the next, because he has already decided he is not done with her. "Why do you worry about this?"

Hasna twists her lips, "I am worried that I will not raise them the way the dynasty needs them. I do not wish to disappoint you or Valide Sultan."

Suleiman smiled softly. His pretty bulbul, so worried about the good of his whole family. It is refreshing. "Bulbul, the fact that you worry now about wanting to make sure to raise our child for the good of the dynasty shows me that you will be more than fit. I love you, as my family loves you. You will not be alone in this endeavor. So long as you remain as you are, my sweet, angelic, good hearted bulbul, you will never be alone."

Hasna sighs, cuddling as close to his chest as her seemingly ever growing stomach will allow. Hasna has always been petite, giving the baby little room to grow but out. "I will, Suleiman. I will work hard to be a good mother to a Sehzade or Sultana. I love you."

Suleiman leaned down and pecked her lightly on the lips, his own display of affection. After a few minutes just enjoying each other, there is a knock on the door. "Come in," calls the Sultan.

Sumbul Aga enters with a tray of Lemon Turkish Delights that Suleiman had ordered special for her. "Hun-Kharim, I have your Turkish Delights."

Hasna claps delightedly. She had been craving nothing but sour sweets everyday for weeks, but she'd felt bad asking the kitchen to prepare them, so only ordered it once a week. But, coming from the Sultan, the head chef would not hesitate. "Thank you, Hun-Kharim," she exclaims as soon as they are placed on the table before her.

Suleiman can't help but laugh in the face of Hasna's youthful joy, so excited over a simple dessert. "Of course, bulbul. Whatever you desire shall be yours."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hasna had flown too close to the sun.

She had known it when Hurrem returned, and waited with bated breath ever since.

But now, six months pregnant, aching in ways she never has before as her child tries its very best to push its way out using its feet, leaving Hasna's ribs and back aching and reintroducing her nausea, this little fact had fallen to the wayside in terms of levels of importance.

For Hurrem, however, the opposite has seemingly been true, as it is only now that she finally approaches the other pregnant woman in the harem.

She is nice enough to do it in Hasna's new rooms, which she has been living in for just under a week. They are beautifully appointed, with a large wraparound bench, a small terrace, and windows on either side to allow for constant light.

Elif looks like she's about to throw a fit or a fist, but only hurriedly whispers who is at the door. "It is Hurrem, Hasna. I can tell her you're resting."

But Hasna only shakes her head. She is afraid, yes, but she is no coward.

Besides, Hurrem coming in person means she is very unlikely to cause any physical harm. Both women are pregnant, and it is the middle of the day.

Prime resting time, actually. Normally, Hasna would be fast asleep in her bed or even on her bench with the sun shining through, but the rampant flurry of kicks and punches from her child had prevented her from doing so.

"Help me up, Elif. Nefise, go and let her in."

Elif is known throughout the harem for her bark. She can be downright cruel, but she does it with her words, not physically. Many used to refer to her as Ayse's guard dog. After the Ikbal's death, suspicion had unfairly passed to Elif because she was always so protective of her friend. Thanks to Hasna's friendship, however, Elif is back in a position that would scare the cariyes.

Nefise, on the other hand, is known for her bite. Nefise had never been caught doing so, but there were plenty of rumors surrounding the older girl and her skillset with certain liquids. She had grown up next to a flower field, but what not everyone knew was that this was because her father practiced herbal medicine. She is undoubtedly one of the deadliest people in all of Topkapi. But in the harem, more often than not, it is Elif who acts as a sort of weapon.

That doesn't take away from Nefise's reputation. Let Hurrem be reminded just who she is about to confront, and what kind of protection she carries.

So, Elif offers both hands to help pull Hasna from her bench. It takes a proper minute to do so, but once Hasna is standing, her gravid belly projecting from her, she nods, and Nefise opens the doors. Hurrem marches in, her own, slightly smaller stomach noticeable under the layers of deep blue silk she has deemed appropriate to wear.

"Hasna Hatun, I wanted to welcome you to your new rooms. I would like to speak to you."

Hasna hears the unspoken "alone" and nods, "Elif, Nefise, wait outside the doors please."

Both maids look like they would rather be anywhere else in the whole world than outside the double doors that grant entry, but can only bow. This is an order, no matter how reluctant the person giving it is.

Hurrem waits until the doors close before inviting herself to sit on Hasna's divan. "Hasna Hatun, I waited patiently, for upon my return, I was warned how the Sultan had been quite taken with you, how you had taken the Thursdays in my absence."

Hasna arches a brow, sitting as well. Ibrahim and Nigar had prepared her then. The 16 year old is no fool, contrary to her relative youth and inexperience in the world. "And you have them back, as you have since your return. I have not tried to reclaim them."

"I have also reclaimed my place in his heart. I hold his heart, and while you may have a small part of it, make no mistake; I am the love of his life. He is mine first."

Hasna has to swallow her bitterness. Hurrem is still a sultana, and can still do irrevocable harm if she spreads a little lie about her to Suleiman. So, just as she, Elif, and Nefise had schemed, she says what Hurrem wants to hear. "I have no plans, Sultana, to be anything other than a mother. I respect you, and know all you have done for the Sultan. This child will very likely be my only. Please do not punish me for doing my duty."

A lie. A big one. Hasna has spent nights, though obviously not Thursdays, with the Sultan since her pregnancy. He has talked about his grandiose plans of a Sehzade who looks like his Baba and a Sultana who can sing like her mother. Those dreams require multiple pregnancies, which, unless some complications arise, Hasna is more than willing to subject her body to, because it means she will be able to spend time alone with the man she loves.

But Hurrem doesn't need to know that.

Hurrem paused, contemplating. "You do not expect anything?"

"No Sultana. I love the Sultan, as we all do, but I know my role. I am grateful for this child, and will love them with my whole heart."

Hurrem watched as Hasna did not seem to fluster. "Good. You should want me as a friend, not an enemy. Do not make me one."

Hasna nodded, before letting out a little puff of pain, as the blow to her ribs and stomach were pushed simultaneously. "I do not understand how this is possible. The baby pushes so hard in both directions at the same time. It feels as though it is fighting for room."

Hurrem, now that she has seemingly gotten what she wanted, has no problem walking right up to Hasna, placing her hands on the top and bottom, where Hasna has hers. After a moment, she pulls away in shock. "The baby is not stretching. There are two. Both kicking."

Hasna goes pale, "two? But, that is dangerous. Oh."

She faints. Hurrem catches her, barking for Elif and Nefise to re-enter, and get the physician. Elif hurries away while Nefise helps the Sultana move Hasna to her bed. Hurrem remains perched afterward, knowing that leaving will look suspicious.

By the time the physician arrives, Hasna is awake, and Hurrem is impatiently waiting. "Well? Two?"

The physician listens and feels before nodding, "yes Sultana. Hasna Hatun carries two babies." Turning to the expecting mother, who is pale in bed, she states, "Hatun, you must move even more carefully, and starting next month, you may not leave your bed."

Hasna frowns deeply but nods. "How was this missed? I see you three times a week?"

The physician has the wherewithal to look embarrassed, "I apologize, Hatun, but given your slight stature, we did not expect multiple children. One is tucked behind the other, so given that I did not know to look for it, I would not have assumed. Hurrem Sultan felt feet at the same time, which made it easier for her to detect."

Hasna sighs, leaning back. "Thank you, Sultanim, for your forethought."

Hurrem nods brusquely, she herself a little pale at the fact that her rival is having two children in one fell swoop.

Hasna's position has just climbed once again, this time with some kind of heavenly intervention.

Who can argue against that?

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Suleiman arrives within an hour of the news spreading of her fainting. Hurrem had taken her leave, returning to her children, and Valide Sultan had not yet returned to the palace, as she was visiting Al-Meydani to see how the renovations were progressing with Hatice, Gulfem, and Mahidevran.

It was nice to be able to tell him without his mother watching over them like a hawk. "My Suleiman, I have news."

Suleiman nodded, his brow furrowed with worry. "Ibrahim tells me you fainted."

Hasna nodded, "but it is alright. The physician has already seen me, and it was not because of any illness, merely shock."

"What do you have to be shocked about?"

Hasna gently picked up both of the Sultan's hands, placing them around her stomach. He felt the kick on top and grinned, "our child is strong. Perhaps they will be a warrior."

Then, before Hasna could speak, the other baby kicked, too far away to be the same child. Realization dawned in the Padishah's eyes. "two?"

Hasna nodded gleefully, trying to ignore the now doubled ever present fear in order to enjoy her lover's presence. "Two babies. We have truly been blessed."

Two children meant increased risk of death, for her and the children. It also made her a bigger target. Would the other Sultanas strike now that they knew she posed double the threat?

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

It is strange, the way Hurrem becomes a fixture in Hasna's life after their conversation. Perhaps it is because she truly believes the young girl is not a threat, perhaps because she does and wants to watch, maybe it is even loneliness, but they come to spend a good deal of time together.

Hasna does not mind the company actually, though she has to play devoted daughter-in-law when with the Valide Sultan to assuage any fears. It is easy, for no one looks at Hasna and thinks her to be capable of any great treachery.

Still, Hasna takes the opportunity to simply enjoy the presence of the royal children who are never far from their mother. Mihrimah Sultan is sweet, and already a gorgeous child. "Sultana, you are doing so well! Soon you will be faster than everyone here. You already move faster than me."

Hurrem beams, sharing in Hasna's joyous laughter, as she always does when someone praises one of her children, but also because Hasna is finally letting herself enjoy their hours together, and Hurrem sees the side of Hasna that likely enticed Suleiman. As Hasna enters into her eighth month of pregnancy, bound to her bed and lonely, the wall she works so hard to keep in order to protect herself comes down more and more frequently.

It makes Hurrem most aware of her youth. Hasna is just 17 and she will be a mother of two in the coming months. She has been forced to take part in the drama that is the royal harem, and Hasna does so with as much grace as anyone can muster.

It is a shame that she is the least important woman in the harem.

Hasna is the third favorite. Technically, and only technically, Mahidevran is first, and then Hurrem. But no one actually views Mahidevran as the first woman of Suleiman, not now that Hurrem has given him a son, a daughter, and is expecting another child, and not when Mahidevran hasn't walked the golden road properly since her miscarriage.

Hasna is realistically the second of Suleiman's women.

But she is the least important in the eyes of the harem. Suleiman may have romantic affection for her, but Valide sees Hasna as a tool of manipulation, and unfortunately, Hasna falls into it often in her desire to not disappoint anyone.

The redheaded sultana can't help but feel a sense of affection for the younger girl.

Who'd have thought?

Their time together is further extended as Hatice's wedding draws closer. Hurrem and Hatice are decently close, and Gulfem and Hasna are very close, so the four are often together in some way or another, thanks to Hatice's willingness to come to Hasna. That is why, when Hasna's labor begins one morning, in the middle of her eighth month, she elects to ignore the pain.

The twinges are certainly stronger, and less easy to ignore then the kicks and punches, but Hasna is having such a good time being included in the preparation for wedding festivities, that she doesn't want to miss a single second. It is easy enough to wave the pain off as just something different, and not something to be alarmed about.

But by Mid-Afternoon, there is no more ignoring it, as the pain becomes too sharp, causing her to squeak. It catches everyone in the room's attention, but it is Gulfem who speaks. "Hasna? Has your labor begun?"

Hasna nods quietly, focusing on breathing through yet another sharp pain through her abdomen that feels rock hard. As soon as she is done breathing through it, Gulfem asks the follow up question on everyone's mind. "How long have you been feeling the pain?"

Hasna shrugs slightly, and tells a little white lie. "I do not think very long. They feel similar to some of the other pain from the twins. The last few have felt different."

Gulfem rises from her pillow, helping the laboring girl off the ground with Nefise's help. As soon as Hasna is vertical, her water breaks all over her gown. Gulfem springs into action. "Elif go and fetch the physicians. Nefise, you will help me bring Hasna to her bed."

Hatice furrowed her brow, "I will go and inform my Valide."

Once she is back in her bed, Hasna labors for hours. The pain is unbearable, but Hasna is afraid to scream. She has been taught the ways of the Harem, and that is to be seen not heard. The fear of being inappropriate overrides her need to release her pain through her screams. Gulfem tries to encourage her to let her pain out, but Hasna is afraid. "My babies, I cannot."

Gulfem shushed Hasna, "you cannot think this way. You will push, and you will hold these babies in your arms."

Hasna shook her head in fear, "please save my babies."

Just then, Hurrem bursts back into the room, having left to go and be with her children for a time. Hasna does not acknowledge her in the throes of another bout of pain, moaning against another contraction. Hurrem took stock in what was happening, and came around to Hasna's side. "Hasna listen to me. You want these children badly. You have told me you dream about them. Do not let them escape you. You will push, you will be loud. Your babies will come, and you will hold them in your arms. Push!"

Hasna nods weakly, sweat soaked hair falling into her face as she does as she is told. Hurrem pushes her hair out of her face, while Hasna finally yells out her pain. It takes only a few minutes longer, and finally, the first baby enters the world, still screaming louder than their mother. Hasna laughed hysterically, the pain temporarily subsiding somewhat. "Let me hold them, before their sibling comes."

The physician places the baby into her mothers arms, and Hasna is lost, "my own piece of heaven. Thank you." She rocks the baby for a moment before her pains start again. A maid takes the new child and Hasna begins to push again. The pain is worse somehow, with only one. Hasna pants and screams, and cannot make progress, stuck yet again after nearly an hour. "Just rip them out of me. Please. I cannot do this anymore."

Hurrem shook her head, even as she shared a worried look with Gulfem. This baby did seem to be stuck, and Hasna was clearly tiring. If she faded any further, they might very well have to.

"You can do this. Hasna, you are almost there. Try. For your baby."

Hasna pushed twice, screaming so loudly her voice cracks, and the baby emerges, crying quietly. Gulfem laughs joyously, like a grandmother might. "They are here! Congratulations Hasna."

Hasna laughs tearily. "What are they?"

The physician, Fatma, turns to take the first baby, now cleaned and bundled and put them back in their mother's arms. "Your first is a sultana, Hatun."

Hasna greedily pulls her new baby back into her arms. "Hello my sweet Sultana." Turning back to Fatma, "and the second?"

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hurrem and Gulfem both return to their rooms to get ready for the naming ceremony, allowing Elif and Nefise to help Hasna walk gingerly to the nearest hammam to be cleaned. She has tremors like she never before experienced, her voice is hoarse from screaming and everything hurts. Still, the smile on Hasna's face is the brightest it has ever been.

"Go quickly, I want to hold my babies again."

Elif and Nefise share a quiet laugh but do as ordered. Elif gives a little bow, meant to be mocking and taken in jest. "But of course."

Hasna huffs but the smile on her face remains, demonstrating that she knows Elif is not being rude or making a mockery of her.

As soon as she is situated back in her bed, dressed in a beautiful cream gown not dissimilar to one she wore the first time she was officially an Ikbal, her two beautiful babies are placed on either side of her. The physician had advised that it was better for Hasna not to hold them until she had her strength back, and as much as she wished she could argue, Hasna knew that it would take a little while.

Nefise sets about pinning a veil in place, just a few moments before Valide Sultan and Hatice enter together. "Hasna, congratulations." Then she turned to the midwife, "how are my grandchildren?"

Fatma bowed, "healthy, Sultanim."

Valide clapped delightedly and turned her attention back to the brand new mother. "Hasna, you have done your duty to me, and to this dynasty. You should live a long and peaceful life with your children by your side."

Hasna bowed her head, and in a hoarse voice responded with the traditional blessing. "Thank you, Validem. And may we never know a time without you."

Valide bowed her head just as the doors burst open and Suleiman strode through. He did not stop to greet his mother or sister, instead heading straight for his songbird. Hasna moved to sit up and bow, but he waved her off, leaning down and kissing her on the forehead. "My bulbul, you have made me most happy."

Hasna beamed as Suleiman studied his new children adoringly. The doors to her chambers opened once more, and Mahidevran, Hurrem, and Gulfem entered. Mahidevran being there already was a surprise, well, until Hasna looked at Valide, whose face remains impassive.

It had been an order.

Suleiman picks up the baby on Hasna's right first, and whispers the Adhan in their ear quietly. Then, to the room as a whole, he names their firstborn.

"I name you Cennet, I name you Cennet, I name you Cennet."

Meaning paradise, heaven; Hasna's piece of heaven. Without ever speaking about the name to Suleiman, the same heavenly intervention that had brought her twins had brought her daughter's name to their world. A prophecy of great things, perhaps.

"May she be made righteous."

"Amen."

Her Greatest Weapon.

"May she be happy."

"Amen."

Her Protector.

"May she be an honor to the Dynasty."

"Amen."

Her History Maker.

The women brush their hands over their faces and then Cennet is returned to her spot beside her mother.  Suleiman picks up the younger twin and repeats the Adhan before naming them.

"I name you Osman, I name you Osman, I name you Osman."

For the dynasty, for the ruler who founded it all. Meaning most powerful, wise. A Sehzade.

"May he be made righteous."

"Amen."

Her safety.

"May he be happy."

"Amen."

Her future.

"May the empire be blessed with his rule."

"Amen."

Her Dynasty.

Chapter Text

Hasna isn't exactly sure what she had expected from motherhood, but she had thought all of the lying around would cease.

She was wrong.

In fact, Fatma had insisted she remain in her bed for at least six weeks, meaning Hasna would certainly miss Hatice Sultan's wedding.

This is devastating to the young mother, whose emotions are already out of whack. Hasna loves Hatice Sultan, and had been a huge proponent of her and Ibrahim being together. To miss their union is heartbreaking.

Hatice makes it up to Hasna by visiting her nearly daily, Gulfem always with her.

They talk about everything happening for the wedding, and even move some fittings to the new mother's rooms so that she can see the gown. It is fun in a way Hasna had never experienced before.

The reward for birthing a Son.

Her beautiful lion cub and her piece of heaven. Cennet and Osman had certainly been everything Hasna had ever dreamed about. Her children are generally happy babies. Cennet is as loud as she was the day she was born, voicing her opinion. She likes to be held, it doesn't matter by who, though she prefers her mother. Osman is still a little quieter. Hasna has found that his little brow furrows just like his Baba. He's also more sensitive to things. When Cennet is fussy and upset, he will react in kind.

Just yesterday actually, they had tried to put their cradles on the opposite sides of Hasna's bed, and the twins had both kicked up quite the fuss over it.

No matter. Hasna loved having them close to her and even took her afternoon rests with them bundled up in blankets beside her. Hasna found she could only really fall asleep while feeling their chests rise.

Nefise doesn't love Hasna sleeping like that, worried that she could hurt one of the babies, so she's on top of the new mother, and will quietly sew or clean while she sleeps, never leaving her in her room alone.

Elif, meanwhile, is taken by both babies. She has some sort of aptitude for childcare, and has spent much of her time helping to care for the newest members of the dynasty. Hasna knows that one day it will mean she will inevitably lose Elif because she will want a family of her own.

Hasna will let her go.

Today though, is a very important day. Today is the first day in two weeks Hasna will actually leave her bed for more than personal care, and make her way to her divan and bask in the sunlight. She is inordinately excited for an activity as simple as sitting on a couch with the same amount of pillows as her bed, but the idea of the sunlight is so immensely enticing.

So, curled up under a blanket, because she has a chill she seemingly cannot shake, Hasna watches her two dreams sleep peacefully in their cradles. Technically, Hasna has a room off of hers that is designated for her children to grow up in, but she cannot bear to have them so far away from her.

Hasna is not nursing them entirely on her own, though. With her chill and still weak figure, she's unable to provide both children with enough milk, so she has a nursemaid that helps her named Asli.

Hasna is content to just stare at her sleeping children but even that doesn't last long before she is interrupted. It is Habil Aga, the Aga that Hasna had taken a shining to during her pregnancy thanks to his now earned loyalty. He bows, "Hasna Hatun, the Sultan has declared that you are officially a Sultana, and has sent along gifts that are presented to all new sultanas."

Hasna hurriedly rises from her divan, and almost immediately wobbles over from a wave of dizziness. She would have fallen if not for Nefise's quick reflexes. "Sultanim, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Nefise. Habil Aga, please bring them in."

Habil turns back toward Hasna's double doors and waves in what turns out to be three additional Agas, each carrying a gift. The first holds a beautifully carved wooden chest, the second carries several beautiful fabrics, glittering in golds, blues, and pinks, and the third carries the softest weasel fur robe that Hasna has ever felt.

Turning to Habil Aga after taking a moment to admire everything, she instructed, "please send my appreciation and gratitude to the Padisah, it is my greatest honor to be able to serve the dynasty in this way."

Habil Aga bows with a smile, "yes, Sultanim."

As soon as the doors close, Hasna squeals in delight, turning her attention to the wooden chest first. Opening the delicate lid, Hasna is greeted by a jeweled dagger sheath, covered in rubies and sapphires. Hasna has seen one similar before, in the possession of Gulfem. She had put the weasel robe away, or maybe returned it, by the time Hasna came into her life, but Gulfem always kept the little dagger tucked under her pillows.

The fabrics are beautiful, and Hasna immediately picks one for Elif, in blue and one for Nefise, in green, as gifts. Both women are thankful if not a little hesitant because Hasna had showered them both in gifts throughout her pregnancy, but they accept them because they are not fools.

Finally her attention turns to the beautiful weasel robe. Hasna wants to try it on so desperately, but a wave of exhaustion hits her, which Nefise clocks immediately. "Sultanim, why don't you rest for now, you can try on the robe when you wake. We'll tend to Cennet Sultan and Sehzade Osman."

Hasna sighs, but nods. This recovery is certainly an incredible annoyance.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Suleiman arrives an hour later, hoping to have a chance to see Hasna try on her new robe. Instead, he finds her sleeping peacefully in her bed, alone. Both twins are being held and cared for by Nefise and Elif, and really Suleiman will have to bring her a third maid now that she has two children. It is less than ideal for a Sultana to be sleeping in a room alone and unprotected, even if they are only in the next room.

He'll speak to his mother later. First, he'll visit his children, and then he'll wake Hasna so they can spend some time together as they have twice a week since Hasna had given birth. Suleiman would come to see the children obviously, but he sits in her bed with one in his arms and one in hers. They look like a perfect family. They talk about what they want for Osman and Cennet, about the things they will do.

So he goes and kisses his children, holding each for a few moments, and then both together when Cennet voices her discontent.

"My Heavenly Sultana, already ordering your Baba around. The dynasty will find its fiercest defender in you."

After spending a few minutes with them, Suleiman returns to Hasna's room, and finds her still sleeping. He goes to kiss her awake, as he has done dozens of times before, only to discover that Hasna is not resting peacefully at all. She is in fact feverish and, when he pulls the blankets away to cool her, finds blood.

The babies both wail, startled by their father's shouts, ordering for guards to fetch the physician. The whole royal wing hears him, it is the middle of the day after all, and Valide Sultan arrives within moments, Hatice and Gulfem with her.

Gulfem panics immediately, but heads for the babies, knowing Hasna would want someone to make sure they're alright. Hatice joins her, taking Cennet from Nefise, who immediately sets out to confirm that Fatma is coming.

Fatma brings two aids with her, and asks for everyone to give her room to work. Suleiman reluctantly steps back. After a few moments, she turns to face the royal family, a grim line set on her face. "Hasna Sultan has an illness that I believe may have been caused by the birth of her children. She is bleeding from her womb still, and the fever is a sign of an early infection. I will work to help her. If she survives the next twenty-four hours, she is likely to survive and be fine. But it is a matter of making sure she gets to that point."

Suleiman nodded sternly, "You will do everything you can for Hasna Sultan. Do not waste any opportunity, or it will be your head."

Fatma bowed, and then looked toward the babies. "Hun-Kharim, it would be best if the children were moved to the royal nursery for now, lest they catch whatever their mother has."

Suleiman swallowed, his eyes swimming in pain, but nodded. Turning to the pale and clearly worried Gulfem, he asked her, "will you go with my children? I am entrusting them to you."

Gulfem can only nod, her eyes lingering on Hasna's unnaturally still figure lying prone in her bed.

Valide places a hand on her son's bicep. "My lion, what do you need of us?"

Suleiman took a deep breath. "Pray, Validem. Bring everyone to prayer in the harem. Call for a reading from the Quran."

Valide nodded, "Hatice and I will set everything into motion. Do not worry yourself, my lion. Hasna is a fighter, she will not leave us so easily."

Fatma interrupted the senior members of the dynasty. "Hun-Kharim, Sultanim, it would be best if you left the rooms until we can determine whether or not Hasna Sultan is contagious."

Suleiman looked ready to argue, but Hatice stepped forward, her own eyes filled with sadness. "Hun-Kharim, Hasna would want you to be with Osman and Cennet. I will go with you if you like."

He nodded reluctantly, leaving the room, Valide and Hatice right behind him. The last sight he got of his bulbul was her lying still in her bed as the physician and her aids worked around her.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

The whole harem is called to prayer that afternoon. They say one for the health of Hasna and protection of her children. The reader is called and will arrive in the evening.

Suleiman is beside himself with worry. Hurrem has come to check on Osman and Cennet with Mehmet and Mihrimah, and winds up staying in the royal nursery with Suleiman as a source of comfort, no matter how small it may be.

The four week old babies sleep next to each other in temporary cradles, their father sitting between them as Hurrem lightly massages his shoulders. There is nothing more they can do, but Suleiman is devastated.

He has lost one of his women before. His second, actually. Aziza.

She had been young, like Hasna. It had not been such a deep infatuation and affection, but she had been beautiful, and fun. Young. She had walked the golden road during Gulfem's first pregnancy with the ill-fated Mahmud. Aziza had glowed with pregnancy, seemingly perfectly healthy. Suleiman had been on top of the world, a Sehzade of his own, and another child on the way.

Aziza had labored for hours, into the next day, and at the end of it, had given Suleiman Sehzade Mahmud.

At the cost of her life.

Childbed fever took Aziza just two weeks after she had given birth to her son. It had broken something in Suleiman, something different to that of the loss of his children.

Suleiman doesn't want to go through it all again. He can't. Aziza had been dear to him, but Hasna is his bulbul, one that he saw a great future with.

Hurrem sniffles quietly, bringing Suleiman out of his thoughts. She has hurriedly wiped a tear away but Suleiman knows his redhead well, knows when she is sad. It brings him pause. She is sad for Hasna.

Hasna had mentioned briefly during one of his visits that Hurrem had been kind to her and even a friend. Suleiman had wanted to believe it, wanted to know that Hurrem was only on the defensive because of Mahidevran, not because she is this way, but it is the first time he is realizing her words ring true.

He can't bring himself to comfort her, wrapped up in his own sadness.

Is this the future that awaits them? To suffer in mutual misery without Hasna?

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hasna survives the night, but she does not wake. In fact, it is another two days before she shows any signs of life at all.

On that third morning, Hasna opens her eyes. Most of the palace is still sleeping, and there is only minimal sunlight peeking through the windows. She goes to pull her hand to her face, desperate for a drink, and finds it once again encased in Suleiman's. Hasna blinks away some of the sleep and confusion, unsure as to what has happened. Hasna quietly wakes her Sultan, her voice croaking. "Suleiman? Are you alright? Why do you not sleep in bed?"

Suleiman is startled out of his sleep and when he sees why, proceeds to shed a singular tear, as relief floods him. "Hasna, you're awake." He leans down and kisses her lightly, "You have been unconscious for three days."

Hasna's eyes widen, "days? But, no. I closed my eyes to rest, I must have slept through the night is all. I was feeling tired."

Suleiman shakes his head, coming around the bed to climb into it now that Hasna is awake, helping her to drink. "You had an illness. The physician determined it was not contagious, but you were seriously ill. We prayed for days."

Hasna gasps in alarm, "what about Osman and Cennet? Are they alright? Are you alright?"

Suleiman shushes the panicking girl, deciding to come around and climb into her bed gently, "they are alright my bulbul. Hurrem Sultan and Gulfem Hatun have been caring for them very well. Hatice visits them often. Now that you are awake again, they will come back to you. But you were very very sick. The Physician was not sure you were going to recover."

Suleiman buries his face into her hair as he says this, and Hasna reaches up to stroke his cheek. "Oh my Suleiman, I am so sorry. I would never leave you if given the choice."

Suleiman sighs exhaustedly. "I can sleep now, knowing you are well."

Quietly, Hasna begins to sing, allowing Suleiman to do exactly that, holding her in his arms, the love poem that began their relationship.

As soon as she is sure Suleiman is sleeping, Hasna settles back to join him. Funny, all of the rest she had apparently gotten had not satisfied her desire to sleep more.

And she's missed him. Sleeping knowing your partner could be with you if he chose but isn't choosing you is difficult. Knowing that she and Hurrem are merely two halls apart is enough to affirm that.

Hasna is learning she wants a great deal many things she will never have.

But, for now, she will enjoy her rest in her bed with Suleiman, who has clearly spent the last three days worried about her.

The 17 year old can't help but feel a little giddy over it. She's selfish, she knows, but there are moments in life where one must be, and this is it.

Hasna thinks she has earned the right to be selfish.

When Hasna awakens three hours later, Suleiman is not in bed, but he is still in her rooms, perched on her divan with both Cennet and Osman in his arms. Hasna hurriedly sits up, "my babies!"

Suleiman grins at the relief on Hasna's face, and brings the babies over to their mother, only for Hasna to hesitate. "You are sure I am not going to make them sick?"

Suleiman nodded, "I am sure, my bulbul. Fatma instructed that you wait another week before you feed them yourself, but you can hold them and kiss them without worry."

Hasna eagerly reached her arms out and Suleiman placed Cennet first and then Osman. Hasna kissed both of their chubby cheeks, laughing when Cennet tried to catch her lips. 

Suleiman grins, climbing back into bed with his songbird. Settling with her between his legs, they each hold one baby, Osman in his mother's arms, Cennet in his. His final gift hadn't been ready for her yet, but in the coming days, Hasna would receive her tulip for contribution to the dynasty.

"My beautiful Sultanas and Sehzade. You have brought such joy to this palace, may you all continue to do so."

Hasna beamed up at her lover, her family.

She has earned more than the right to be selfish. Hasna has earned the right to be happy.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Just a week after Hasna has recovered from her illness, Hatice is married. Hasna is allowed to leave her room by Fatma because Hatice invites her to witness her get ready before she leaves. Hasna is the only one aside from Gulfem to receive this invitation.

It is a wonderful gift.

Hatice though, seems nervous, more than when she was actually sneaking around with Ibrahim Pasha. It is odd to Hasna, but what does she know? Maybe getting married is more terrifying.

Hasna will never know.

Valide steps up beside Hatice in the mirror, "My dear Hatice, my beautiful daughter, your marriage is solemnized. You are now married to the Grand Vizier, Ibrahim Pasha, may you be happy for a lifetime."

Hasna smiles giddily, watching as Valide places the beautiful veil and headpiece on Hatice's head. Hasna is leaning against Gulfem, for she really ought not to be standing, but it would be inappropriate to sit. Beyhan Sultan keeps shooting her worried looks, and it is sweet, because the last time Hasna had seen her, Hasna had been 12 and gotten to see her eldest daughter, the first baby she had ever gotten to interact with.

The truth is, Hasna is glad not to be going to the wedding. She had thought that she would be fully recuperated from Childbirth by now, but with her nasty illness last week, she had been set back. It is fine, though. Hasna's babies are also too young to leave the palace, and will stay with their mother. Both Nefise and Elif are happy to remain behind as well, so it will be her two closest friends and her babies. They will have fun.

As soon as the headdress is secured, Hatice speaks. "Validem," she whispers. "This is my last day at home. Please, keep me in your loving embrace."

Valide brings her daughter into her arms, her favorite, though it will never be said out loud, as Gulfem, Beyhan, and Hasna all look on with a smile.

"Destur! Sultan Suleiman Khan Hazletri!"

In walks the love of Hasna's life. She is quick to let go of Gulfem so as not to draw attention and alarm him. His exhausted concern is still burned into the back of her mind. Hasna never wants to be the reason he looks like that ever again.

He gives her a once over and she smiles, and then his attention shifts to Hatice, and his smile softens into something familial. "Hatice, my precious sister," he stated, lifting Hatice's chin. "I made a promise to you, and today I am keeping that promise."

Everyone in the room who knew what had happened for this match to come into reality smiled softly. Indeed, Hatice had been promised a love match, and had been promised that she would never be made sad by her brother. Suleiman had fulfilled his promise.

Now Ibrahim would have to make sure to never give him a reason to break it.

"Seeing your happiness fills my heart with peace," Suleiman states as he places his beautiful tulip creation onto Hatice's neck.

She lifts a hand to feel it gently, "Hun-Kharim, as long as I breathe, I won't take off this necklace."

A lie. Hatice will definitely not want to be wearing a heavy necklace like that tonight, but the Sultan doesn't look beyond the surface, bringing his younger sister in to kiss her forehead, his blessing.

Just as it seemed Suleiman was about to leave, he turned to Hasna. "Bulbul, I would like to see Osman and Cennet before I leave. Come."

Hasna knows an order when she hears one, so she bows, after accepting Valide and Hatice's hands. "Congratulations Hatice Sultan. May you have a long and happy marriage and a beautiful family."

Hatice beams at her young friend. "Amen."

Hasna then quickly bowed and followed Suleiman out of the room. As soon as they were in the hall, and away from most prying eyes, Suleiman took Hasna's hand and looped it through her arm, allowing her to rest some of her weight against him. "Suleiman-m, I am so sad to be missing the wedding. Will you tell me all about it when you return?"

Suleiman grinned down at his pouting songbird, taking his free hand and tugging on her lip lightly. "Of course, my Bulbul. I will come and see you and our beautiful children again later and begin the tradition of telling my children tales."

Hasna smiled up at him. "I can't wait to see how they grow, and all of the things they will learn and remember."

Suleiman laughs, "we have some time before that, my dearest bulbul, but I look forward to the same."

As soon as they reached Hasna's rooms, she threw away decorum and hurried in to see her babies. Other than her illness, when she hadn't consciously known she had been separated from her children, the last two hours had been the longest separation Hasna has had from them. Both children are awake so Hasna kneels between the cribs to pick her daughter up.

Suleiman comes and joins her, picking up Osman. Together they sit on her divan for a few minutes before Suleiman kisses his children, then Hasna. "I will come and see you all in the evening."

Hasna nodded, "congratulations Suleiman. I hope you receive the same joy from Hatice Sultan and Ibrahim Pasha's union as she does."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hasna had been prepared to be alone for the day, with just her children and her maids. She had ordered some of the food to the room before Seker Aga left to attend the celebration, and is now settled with the babies on her floor.

So when screams start echoing throughout the halls, Hasna panics. "Oh god. Suleiman. Something has happened."

Elif, meanwhile, has already passed Cennet to her mother and slips the knife out of its sheath on her thigh. "Go into the other room. I'll go and check."

Hasna shakes her head, "no! Elif, stay here. Go and tell one of the Agas at the door to check. You are too important to go."

Elif nods reluctantly, and does as ordered. Within a few moments, the screams get closer and the saga returns, flustered and alarmed, but not devastated. "Sultanim, Hurrem Sultan has returned as her labors have begun."

Nefise curses quietly, "she does nothing by half. Thank you, Aga."

Indeed. The true Haseki, though Hasna will never say that out loud, has never been the most humble figure in the harem. It is why some of the girls in the harem switched to supporting Hasna while Hurrem was gone and then remained loyal. She had rewarded them in kind, with fabrics and gold on occasion, though the gold was to the whole harem. Hasna would not wish to be responsible for a riot.

Eventually, Hasna decides she must go and check on Hurrem. The palace is empty, it must be incredibly lonely to be giving birth like this, especially because Hasna remembers how truly alone Hurrem had been during her labor with Sehzade Mehmed.

Elif is the one to be against it now. "Sultanim, please stay here. You only recovered from your illness a week ago. You were on your feet for much too long today already. Gulfem Hatun said you were shaking. It would be better if you stayed."

Hasna sighed, "I would like nothing more, Elif. But if it gets back to the Sultan that Hurrem was alone, knowing I am in the palace, it will be even worse. We have only just gained a foothold. I will not lose it over this."

Nefise rose and helped Hasna stand. "I will come with you and help Gulnihal. Elif and Asli can stay with the babies."

So Hasna hurried out of her room and two halls down, following the screams increasing in their volume. Hasna burst through the door just as Hurrem wailed, "I am all alone again."

Hasna moved to Hurrem's left side, out of the way of all of the physicians. "You are not alone, Hurrem. I am here with you. I will stay with you. You will not be alone."

Hurrem's hand moved from gripping the railing to gripping Hasna's and wow is her grip strong. Hasna flinches only slightly but cups Hurrem's hand between hers. "Come, Hurrem Sultan. Let us meet your new son."

A few minutes later, Hasna's fingers have certainly gone numb, and Nigar bursts into the room. Hurrem, despite being in excruciating pain, has time to chastise the Kalfa. "Nigar Kalfa, nobody would have noticed if I died. Where were you? What if Hasna hadn't come?"

Hasna and Nigar share a look before Nigar assures her sultana. "Sultanim, one last push. Push and your baby is in your arms."

Nigar is seemingly right as only one push later, a newborn baby's wails echo throughout the chamber.

Hurrem's first question isn't whether the baby is healthy.

"Tell me. Is it a boy? Tell me. Gulnihal, Nigar?"

Nigar glanced down at the baby and then back up to her mistress with a smile. "Sultanim, you have given birth to a lion cub."

Hurrem's head falls back in relief. A second son. Untouchable.

Hasna does everything in her power not to look upset. This is supposed to be a happy time, and Hurrem had faked it for Hasna. "Congratulations, Sultanim."

Hasna steps out soon after to let Hurrem get cleaned off and spend time with her new baby. As soon as she is in the hallway, her face drops, and Nefise guides her straight back to her rooms.

They make it back to her room, and Nefise pushes Hasna toward the bed, "rest, Sultanim, You've had a long and exciting day and your body has been through a lot. Rest for now."

Hasna nodded wearily, pulling her hand up to her face to rub it when Nefise suddenly yanks it back. "Oh my god. She made you bleed."

Hasna glances down and finds that, yes, Hurrem's nails had dug so hard into Hasna's skin that she had brought blood to the surface. "Can you clean and bandage it, Nefise? I don't want to wait for a physician's aid. I just want to rest."

Nefise's face darkened but she nodded. "Of course, Sultanim. I will use some of the ointment I have so there is no scarring. Why should you be left with a mark from her on your body?"

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hasna naps for two hours before being awoken by Nefise to prepare for the naming ceremony. The Sultan has not yet returned to the palace, but he is on his way, and Nefise does not want anyone to doubt Hasna for even a moment.

Hasna is trussed back into the gold gown she had worn this morning to watch Hatice get ready, and Elif pins a cream Veil to her head as well.

She pastes on a wobbly smile just as the echoed announcement of Suleiman's presence reaches their ears. They wait ten minutes and then Emine Kalfa is knocking on the door. She does not look happy to be there, but an order is an order. "Sultanim. You have been invited by Valide Sultan to attend the naming ceremony of the new Sehzade."

Hasna only nods, rising from the foot of her bed. She turns to her two closest friends, "you both stay with the children. Emine Kalfa will escort me there and back."

Since becoming a pregnant favorite, and now a sultana, Hasna has settled nicely into ordering people in a way that doesn't seem abrasive. Well, the people she knows won't make a fuss over it, anyway. Emine Kalfa will do as she is required, and Nefise and Elif, the two deadliest women in the harem, will remain behind, protecting Hasna's whole world.

When Hasna arrives, she superstitiously tucks her bandaged hand behind her back, and bows to everyone present. All but Mahidevran have arrived, Gulfem likely still with Hatice Sultan. She slides in behind Beyhan but in front of Daye Hatun, who she can feel clocking the bandage.

Wonderful. Another thing for Valide to be concerned about.

They stand for a moment before Mahidevran enters. She looks only a little anguished, and bows to the Sultan before approaching. Then she pins something to the new baby; a protection amulet.

"May he be protected and grow up healthy."

"Thank you, Mahidevran," replies the Sultan with a smile.

And there it is. Mahidevran is a snake, but she is no fool. Hurrem now has two sons to Mahidevran's one. She will not have another child, and both Hurrem and Hasna are still young. Her only opportunity to return to favor would be to play the part of a reasonable woman. 

This, this could be a real problem.

Suleiman turns to face his collective of women. "I will name my prince after my late father. May he be a glorious conqueror like Sultan Selim Khan."

Valide Sultan's face shifts at the mention of her late husband.

Suleiman begins the naming ceremony, and as he whispers the name for the third and final time, a chill runs through Hasna's body.

"May he be successful."

"Amen."

"May he be happy."

"Amen."

And then, Suleiman says something different than he had for Hasna's son.

"May he be beneficial for our empire."

Hasna chokes out an "Amen."

Beneficial for the empire. Contributing to the empire. Things that get marked down in the history books.

What had Suleiman seen in his dreams for this son?

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Three weeks go by, and Hasna is allowed to return to her full activities. She is thrilled, because in the midst of summer it has been torturous to remain indoors. Hasna had ordered Emine Kalfa to pick two maids to set up a small tent in the shade of the gardens with plenty of pillows so that Cennet and Osman could experience the world outside the palace for the first time. 

Hasna, who loves to be in nature, is sitting with her babies at the edge of the tent, introducing their little feet to the feeling of grass. Cennet has already voiced her dissatisfaction, the blue-eyed sultana now nearly two months old and very opinionated. Osman, on the other hand, seems quite satisfied by the new sensation. That is good, for he will spend a great deal of time outdoors with riding lessons, sword lessons, and archery. 

Still, Hasna brings her twins back to the center of the tent, putting them both on their bellies to practice holding their heads up. That is where Hatice finds her. Hasna does not notice her coming, completely focused on her greatest joys. "You're both doing so wonderfully! Look how strong you are, keeping your heads up. Wait until your Baba sees!"

Hatice laughs at Hasna's delight, causing the new sultana to hurriedly rise. "Hatice Sultan, I am sorry, I did not realize you were here."

Hatice waves Hasna's apologies away and comes to sit beside her niece and nephew. "It is alright Hasna. I came to see you and my precious niece and nephew."

The younger woman grinned, as she did any time someone acknowledged how delightful her babies are. "I am happy you have come to visit. You have been sorely missed here."

Hatice laughs, "yes, Gulfem told me all about how you have been quite bored."

Hasna groans playfully, "Sultanim, it was so boring. If not for the babies and Gulfem, I would certainly have gone mad from it all."

The 17 year old mother is certainly thrilled to be back out of bed, enjoying the gardens and the fresh air. "So, Sultanim. How is your new palace treating you? And Sadika Hatun?"

The Blood Born Sultana smiles, pulling Cennet into her arms for a cuddle. "It has been lovely, Hasna-m. The flowers in the garden were in full bloom until just yesterday. We have a gazebo in it that I spend a lot of time in. The paintings that were done by Leo Effendi were magnificent, and they make Ibrahim so happy, so I am happy."

Hasna smiles down at Osman, who is now in her arms, booping him slightly on his nose, "I am so happy to hear it, Sultanim. You deserve to be happy with Ibrahim Pasha."

Hatice sighs in delight, "I am happy, Hasna. I am so very happy. But I actually came here with a purpose. Ibrahim and I are inviting you, the Sultanas, and my family to dinner in our palace tomorrow night. Now that you and Hurrem are both able to travel again, I want you to come and join us."

Hasna nods eagerly before freezing. That would mean leaving her children for hours. But Hasna could not let Hatice think her unwilling, so she forces a smile. "That will be wonderful, Sultanim. I am sure that everyone will be delighted to attend. Have you seen Hurrem and Mahidevran Sultan already?"

Hatice nods, her attention focused more on the baby in her arms. "Yes. I forgot to inform Hurrem, but she has already left the palace with the Sultan. Date Hatun or my Valide will inform her on her return."

Hasna swallows harshly. Hurrem is out with the Sultan. Of course she is.

"I look forward to getting to see the palace, Sultanim."

Hatice grins, and by the time she actually looks up at the 17 year old again, all she sees, or rather, all she wishes to see, is a happy young mother smiling at her baby.

Hasna is anything but.

After Hatice departs, Hasna only stays outside for a few more minutes before having Nefise and Elif take the babies back to the room and having other cariyes, Beyza and Hanife, clean up the tent. Her happiness has burned out of her with the news that she will be required to travel and leave her babies behind, even if only for a few hours. Then, to find out that on top of all of that, Suleiman has whisked Hurrem away for a romantic trip had just been the bitter icing on top.

"I don't want to leave them," she whispers quietly, staring down at them in their cradles. Nefise and Elif sit on either side of a twin, Nefise by Osman, and Elif by Cennet, with Hasna in the middle. The babies aren't sleeping, but Hasna is afraid that they will hear her distress and she never wants to be the reason they are unhappy.

"I'll stay behind," Elif stated. "They're going to be safe with Asli and I."

Hasna sniffles, "but I will be so far away if something happens. How will I know if they need me?"

Nefise reaches for one of Hasna's hands. "Sweet Sultana, Elif and Asli love the Sehzade and Sultana. They will take very good care of them. No one will be allowed in or out while you are gone and Habil Aga can stay at the doors."

Hasna shakes her head just as Osman lets out a cry. Hasna immediately scoops him into her arms, hoping that holding her Sehzade will bring her some sense of comfort. He immediately moves toward her to feed, and Hasna lowers her gown to allow him to do so. For some reason, as soon as her baby latches, she bursts into true tears.

The tears soon turn into full blown gasps, even as her grip on Osman while he feeds remains secure. 

Nefise watches as Hasna's panic takes over her body and says the one thing she already regrets. "I'll stay behind too. Emine Kalfa can escort you in my place. Would that be better?"

Elif's eyes bulge as she turns to her companion. They had both agreed that one of them would always remain with Hasna, keeping her safe. This offer is not that. 

But Nefise can see Hasna's mind processing the offer already, her heart rate slowing as an option that actually brings her comfort comes to the surface. Hasna had never considered parting with Nefise because other than her and Elif, there isn't anyone else she really trusts.

Except Emine Kalfa.

Hasna starts nodding, "yes. That is exactly what we will do. Nefise, you, Elif, and Asli will all stay with Osman and Cennet, and you'll let no one in or out because anyone who is normally allowed to see them will be at this dinner. I'll have Emine Kalfa escort me."

"Yes, Sultana."

Hasna's complete attention returned to Osman in her arms as Cennet remains peacefully sleeping in her own cradle. As soon as Elif is sure that she will not get caught, she leans around the cribs and flicks Nefise's ankle.

How can they protect their sultana if they're hours away?

Chapter Text

The next afternoon, Nefise helps Hasna dress into a beautiful pink gown with gold embroidery to wear to Hatice's dinner. Hasna had heard that Hurrem and Suleiman had returned to the palace, but had not actually seen either of them.

That is fine. Suleiman would force her to put on a happy face, and she is anything but. Hurrem, on the other hand, would not be able to help herself.

It appears neither can Mahidevran.

The mother of the eldest son (only due to the death of Gulfem's son, Hasna viciously thought) had finally deigned it appropriate for her Sehzade to meet his younger siblings. That would be a nice gesture, if not for the fact that Cennet and Osman are nearly two months old. (Next week. She has already commissioned her own protection amulets for them.)

Of course, Sehzade Mustafa is a sweet boy. He's not as young as he used to be, now nearing eight years old. Still, Hasna remembers him as a baby in Manisa before leaving with Gulfem to Topkapi. He is just as bright and curious now as he was then. "Are they healthy?"

Hasna smiles down at her childrens' eldest brother. "Thankfully, yes. They see the doctor every day to make sure. And how are you, Sehzadem? How are your lessons and archery?"

Mustafa grinned that innocent childish grin, unaware of the pain his mother is about to unleash. "They are well. My Baba says I will be a strong warrior one day."

Hasna nods, "your Baba is one now, he can see when someone will become one. If he says so, I believe him."

"Mustafa," Mahidevran interrupts, "Valide Sultan wishes to see you before dinner tonight. We have to go and visit her so we do not run out of time. Say goodbye."

Mustafa places gentle kisses on each of his new siblings' heads and Hasna bows hers. "Sehzadem."

Mahidevran sends Mustafa out of the room before turning as if she has forgotten something. "Is everything alright, Sultanim?"

Mahidevran smirks. "Hurrem has returned with her new gift from the Sultan. Did you see what they were?"

Hasna shook her head slowly, "I have not yet had the opportunity, no."

Mahidevran's smirk turns sharp. "He gifted her with two songbirds who are in love. To represent the love he and Hurrem share. Songbirds."

Hasna can't hide the way her face drops, and that brings a grin to Mahidevran's face. "I will see you at dinner this evening, Sultanim."

The doors close behind her, leaving Hasna to sit in her newfound agony.

Songbirds.

What was she, then?

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hasna's heartbreak from a simple gift is pushed down as her anxiety about separating from her children increases. She can hardly handle putting them down until Emine Kalfa arrives at her rooms. "Sultanim," she states with a bow. "It is time to go if we wish to arrive in time for dinner. Valide Sultan, Mahidevran Sultan, and Gulfem Hatun will be in the first carriage. You will ride in the second."

Hasna pauses. "And Hurrem?"

Emine's face drops. "She will travel with the Sultan. It will be you and I in the second carriage."

Alone. Hasna is alone. She turns her attention back to her babies and gives them each one last kiss. "Nefise, Elif, if something happens, you must do whatever it takes to protect them, do you promise me?"

Both women nod. In the 11 months since Hasna had first found out she was pregnant, the now 17 year old has finally shown her inner circle just how dangerous and vicious she is willing to be; the sultana's dagger strapped to her thigh, and a poison on her belt, but also her desire for bloodshed in order to protect her children.

"We will guard them with our lives, Sultanim. Go and enjoy dinner."

Hasna scoffs as she fixes her veil. "Enjoy is the wrong word, Elif. But I will go."

Gulfem is the only one still outside the first carriage when Hasna arrives with Emine in tow. She hurries over to the young sultana. "Where are Nefise and Elif? Shouldn't one of them be with you?"

Hasna shook her head. "I want them to stay with the children. I do not trust anyone else. Not even Asli, not alone."

She sees something in Hasna's eye and nods knowingly. "And you have heard about His Majesty's gift to Hurrem Sultan."

Hasna twitched. "I know the rules, Gulfem-m. I know better than to be sad about it for more than a moment. My focus will be on my children."

After looking around, Gulfem reached out and cupped Hasna's face gently. "My sweet Sultana, do not worry yourself. Hurrem has enticed him, yes, but you are so loved. I promise. Now come, perhaps I can ask Valide if I can ride with you."

Hasna smiled softly but shook her head, "no, don't worry about me, Gulfem-m. I will ride with Emine Kalfa. I will perhaps even rest my eyes. Cennet did not have a good sleep last night, and I was worried the whole time."

Gulfem smiled. "Welcome to motherhood, Sultanim. Alright, I will see you when we arrive then."

Hasna nods and turns to head into the carriage, but nearly falls when her skirt catches on the stairs. She feels a pair of hands wrap around her waist that stops any accidents, though. Turning slightly, Hasna is greeted by Suleiman. It is only them, Emine Kafa, and the aghas outside, Hurrem already in the carriage. He had watched her get in, then.

"Suleiman," she said with a whisper. "Thank you."

Suleiman brushed a kiss to her forehead once she was standing properly. "Of course, my Bulbul." Then he helped her up the last step into the carriage and was gone.

Hasna does close her eyes on the carriage ride over, if only to stop the tears from falling.

She loved being called his songbird. So why in the world had he taken the symbol of what she had thought was their love, and given it to another?

Being called Suleiman's songbird had never felt so painful before.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

When they arrive to Hatice Sultan's palace, it is to the discovery that Hurrem and Suleiman took the long way. Hasna does not let it affect her in front of Valide, Hatice, and Mahidevran. One will chastise, one will only provide a little comfort, and one will gloat.

Hasna needs none of it.

Gulfem does slip her hand into Hasna's briefly, and the 17-year-old is vividly reminded that the only people she needs aside from her children are Gulfem, Nefise, and Elif. Her chosen family. Suleiman will never be hers alone, and so she needs to give herself the space to be a mother, not a lover.

Hasna bows to Hatice as soon as she reaches her, and is immediately brought in for a hug. "Hasna. I am happy you came. Welcome."

Hasna turns on the pretty smile everyone loves to see. "Thank you, Sultanim. It is an honor to be able to attend in your beautiful palace." Turning to Ibrahim Pasha, Hasna bowed the slight amount due to him. "Pasham. The paintings look wonderful. Hatice Sultan tells me you picked the painter for them."

Ibrahim bowed back with a slight smile. Mahidevran is his pick, and for now Hurrem is Hatice's but Hasna is a sweet girl, able to charm just about anyone. "Thank you, Sultanim. How are the Sehzade and Sultana fairing?"

Hasna seems to light up at the mention of her children. "Well, Pasha. They went outside yesterday for the very first time. Sehzade Osman seems to enjoy the feeling of grass. Cennet Sultan is content to be held."

Everyone grinned at the animated descriptions of the royal twins. "That is wonderful to hear, Sultanim. May they grow up happy and healthy."

"Amen," echoes from everyone, even the reluctant Mahidevran.

Finally turning to the room, Hasna is startled to see a proper full length table. It is not just any table though. It is clearly masterfully carved, nothing like the rickety one in her first home all those years ago, the one that she can still remember scratching the first letter of her name into.

That table had burned with her village.

Shaking herself slightly, Hasna stepped back so as to not be in the clearly disgruntled Valide Sultan's purview.

Better to let her distaste be aimed where it belongs.

It takes a little longer for the Sultan and Hurrem to arrive, but eventually they are all seated around the table, with Hasna somehow between Hatice and Valide Sultan, and across from Mahidevran.

She and Mahidevran are furthest away from Suleiman. Even Gulfem sits closer, with Hurrem and Ibrahim the closest.

Obviously.

Dinner progresses for a little while, everyone eating, no one really speaking to Hasna except for Hatice occasionally. Except, then something interesting does happen. Ibrahim Pasha's painter is introduced to the dynasty and its members. "Hun-Kharim, Sultanlarim, may I present Leo Effendi. He is the painter whom I commissioned."

Hasna superstitiously checks her veil, as she does each time a man enters her presence, before smiling.

His presence, however, unfortunately coincides with Hurrem getting sick, and Hatice hurries to follow her. Hasna sits awkwardly, the attention split, until Valide sends Hasna to check on Hurrem.

Hasna awkwardly knocks on the door and bows when she enters. "Sultanim. Valide Sultan is worried. I came to see how Hurrem is feeling."

Hatice glances down at her friend and then back to Hasna. "Don't worry, we're coming."

Hurrem swallows, "you go. I will come shortly."

Hasna bows, because Hurrem outranks her, and walks out, allowing Hatice to go first, as the hierarchy orders.

"Hatice, how is Hurrem," inquires Suleiman as Hatice and Hasna return to take their places back at the table.

"She is fine, she should come shortly," she replies.

Once again, they sit in awkward silence, until Hurrem returns, seemingly having attempted to pull herself together.

"Hurrem, how are you feeling," Suleiman asks.

She smiles weakly, "I am fine, Hun-Kharim."

"Good." Tilting his head, Suleiman indicated Hurrem's plate. "Eat. You haven't eaten anything yet."

Then, Suleiman turns back to Ibrahim. "Tell Leo to come to the palace tomorrow."

Ibrahim's eyes widen. "For the painting, Hun-Kharim?"

Suleiman nods, "yes. Hurrem and I will stand in front of him together."

Mahidevran's head pops up, Hasna's very much does not.

"Leo will paint our contentment."

Because with Hurrem, Suleiman is content. Hasna can't even do that.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

In the days following the dinner, other than visiting the physician and Valide Sultan for a brief time so she can see her grandchildren, Hasna spends her days hidden away in her rooms with the babies. She does not want to see Hurrem and Suleiman being painted together. Hasna just wants to hide.

Hasna had once been told that to be loved is to be seen. Hurrem and Suleiman's love is being painted for every generation that follows to see. Hurrem will be the first sultana in the history of the harem to preserved and known. They will be written in history, in tales of great loves.

Hasna will not.

It is strange how sad this thought makes her. All Hasna had ever wanted, since those times long lost to memory and the sea, was to have a great love and build a beautiful family together.

Both of those things are now twisted and ugly. 

Where she had wanted a marriage to come with her great love, instead she shares it with two others, one who is mother to the heir to the throne, and the other who has bewitched him and given him three children. Where Hasna had imagined raising children together, bringing them to school or to the gardens of Constantinople or Manisa, instead Hasna is mother to two dynasty members, who are to be raised a very specific way, and if Hasna fails to do as they see fit, they will take her children away from her.

She is locked away to do the bidding of the man she loves.

Because Hasna may be a sultana, but she is still a slave.

"Sultanim, you need to eat. If you don't, you won't be able to feed the Sehzade and Sultana."

Nefise has been trying to reason with the listless Sultana for over an hour. Hasna had refused breakfast, and was now refusing lunch. She had only been paying attention to her children, any time someone tried to grab her attention, they received half-hearted replies and no eye contact.

It is like Hasna is only half there.

This has been going on for days. The problem is, Hasna knows how to perform. When Suleiman comes to visit his children, Hasna is smiling and talking about all that has changed about their children since the last time he saw them. When he asks about her day, she tells him what he wants to hear. They went and spent some time with Valide, took a walk outside, and have been practicing moving in the safety of Hasna's room where they are less likely to be harmed.

For fifteen minutes, Hasna is herself again.

Then he leaves, and it is as though the flame goes out.

She does the same for Valide and Gulfem, though Nefise knows Gulfem suspects something is wrong. But Hasna is very convincing when she wants to be. The 17-year-old is able to spin a story, and now, she outranks Gulfem, which means that Nefise and Elif being sworn to secrecy about her new state can't be broken by an order from Gulfem.

Hasna sighs, "fine. Bring me something light. My stomach aches a lot these days."

Nefise holds back a sigh of relief. Fine. She can do a light meal. Hasna just needs to eat something. If this behavior continues, Nefise will violate Hasna's order and go before Gulfem. This can't be allowed to continue.

"She is wasting away before our eyes. How do none of them see it," whispers Elif that evening as she rocks Osman to sleep. Hasna has already gone to bed, her seeming exhaustion overwhelming her early, causing her to only eat some bread for dinner before she kisses her children and undresses.

Nefise sighs frustratedly. "She has never been one to voice a complaint, and they all know it. Valide chose Hasna because she is easy to push around and manipulate. Now that Hurrem has her claws so deep in the Sultan, Hasna isn't able to do anything, so Valide has no interest. Ibrahim Pasha is leaving for Egypt, so Gulfem is occupied with taking care of Hatice Sultan. The Sultan, well. We know why."

Because Hasna knows that when it comes to her, Suleiman likes to look at the surface. She is his petty bulbul, who sings whenever he desires. They are happy and innocent together. With Hasna, Suleiman does not think he has to worry about jealousy or harm because Hasna is not the kind of person to act on either of those things.

"So what do we do?"

Nefise looked through the curtains at the girl that she saw as her little sister. "We take care of her. We always take care of her. From the moment she found out she was pregnant, Hasna has been told that the children come first. This should be true of any parent. It shouldn't mean that Hasna herself does not matter at all. So we make sure she is eating, and going outside, and still loves her children."

Elif nods, "I still say we tell Gulfem Hatun, regardless of the order."

Nefise shakes her head, "We can't. If she finds out we betrayed her trust for this, she will never trust us again, and then she really will be all alone."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Gulfem already knows something is awry.

She goes to visit Hatice at her palace to bring some news in the hopes of a distraction, but Hatice can see that she is the one who has something on her mind. So, after Gulfem relays that Hurrem has now moved into her rooms, Hatice prompts her oldest friend, "what is on your mind, Gulfem-m? You seem worried."

Gulfem tries to shake it off, "it is fine, Sultanim. It is you I should be caring for, not the other way around."

Hatice reaches out and takes one of Gulfem's hands. "I want to hear, Gulfem. You are my friend. Tell me."

After a moment's hesitation, Gulfem gives in. "I am worried about Hasna Sultan. She hardly leaves her rooms anymore, and I overheard her maids having to convince her to eat. She has been very sad as of late, worse than I have ever seen before."

Hatice leans forward, "has something happened?"

Gulfem sighs, "she has always told me she understands that her role is to serve the Sultan for his happiness, that she is lucky to have her children, and that is her focus, but she loves him, and he doesn't call for her. The painting and the room have probably not helped, but I think she is just, love sick."

Hatice nods, considering. "It is a shame. She truly does love Hun-Kharim, anyone can see that. It must be very hard to have new children and be alone. I will come back and visit with you."

Hatice goes to rise, and then sways backward, fainting into Gulfem's arms very suddenly. "Sultanim!" Turning to Sadika, Gulfem orders, "go and fetch the physician!"

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hatice doesn't make it to see Hasna, instead focused on telling her Valide the good news, and informing Ibrahim before he leaves. Hasna finds out from Emine Kalfa, who found out from Nigar. "She was here? I didn't get the chance to see her."

Emine shifts, "she came and went quite quickly, Sultanim. I was under the impression that it was just to see Ibrahim Pasha before he departs for Egypt."

Hasna nods, looking away and out her window, "of course."

Nefise steps up, willing to face the wrath of her Sultana. "Sultanim, why don't you go and congratulate Valide Sultan, and then while you are there, perhaps you can ask to go and visit her?"

For the first time in nearly two weeks, Hasna perks up at something. "That is a good idea, Nefise. And perhaps I can bring Cennet and Osman. They are nearly three months old now, I am sure that it is ok for them to travel with us."

Elif grins from beside Nefise. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, Sultanim."

Hasna rises from her divan, brushes her skirts off and nods. "I shall go right now. Prepare a cloak for me."

Only she doesn't actually get to visit the Valide. As she comes down the hall to her chambers, she comes face to face with a joyous Suleiman. After bowing, Hasna congratulates him. "Suleiman-m, congratulations, I heard about Hatice Sultan's pregnancy."

The Emperor of the World nods eagerly. "I have just heard myself. I am going to see her. Come with me."

The offer is impulsive, clearly coming from Suleiman's abundant joy. Hasna doesn't refuse though. "Let me go and get a veil, and I will meet you outside."

Hasna hurries to her room to throw on a veil, "Emine Kalfa, please go and inform Daye Hatun that Suleiman has invited me to join him on his visit to Hatice Sultan's palace. I am entrusting Elif and Nefise with Cennet and Osman and Habil Aga with the doors, just like last time. I will return in a few hours."

Both Elif and Nefise look thrilled as Elif hurriedly helps to pin a veil to Hasna's head. "We will, Sultanim. You enjoy your carriage ride with the Sultan."

Hasna beams brightly. It is a refreshing change from her void stares. "I will."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Suleiman's joy and excitement about Hatice encapsulates the whole carriage ride. He is giddy with his delight for his younger sister and best friend. He does not let go of Hasna's hand throughout the entire ride, and by the time she arrives with him in Al-Meydani, Hasna has two new love bites that she has to adjust her gown to cover.

Thankfully, she is able to, because Hasna had had no idea Hurrem was there.

She is standing alone in the room with Leo Effendi, but they are feet apart, so it wouldn't have tickled Hasna's suspicions if not for the way Hurrem's eyes flash in guilt.

Interesting.

She is able to cover that they are simply talking about painting technique, and Suleiman gets distracted by his own ideas, so Hurrem relaxes slightly. Then, Hatice arrives.

"Hatice-m," Suleiman states, opening his arms for a hug.

Hatice hurries over, "Hun-Kharim."

He gives her a kiss on the head. "My precious. The good news has made me very happy. May your baby get to grow up with you and Ibrahim."

Hatice beams, "you honor me, Hun-Kharim. You shine like a light on my loneliness."

Suleiman grins, "come let us eat on Ibrahim Pasha's dining table."

Hatice nods, "of course, Hun-Kharim," and signals Sadika to go and inform the kitchen.

Once Suleiman is seated, Hasna bows before Hatice, "Sultanim, congratulations. I am so happy for you. May this be the first of many."

Hatice beams, "amen. Thank you for coming with my brother, Hasna. How are my niece and nephew?"

"Well. Cennet loves her rattle from her Baba, she makes sure everyone can hear it, and Osman loves to smile at anyone and everything. Soon they'll be big enough to travel and then maybe we can come and visit."

Hatice nods, "I would like that."

They stay with Hatice for a few hours, before Hurrem sets out to return with her children. Hatice manages to convince Suleiman to stay for dinner, and with him, Hasna.

"Will you sing for us, my Bulbul?"

Hasna glances around, "there is no music, it will just be my voice, which might be very loud."

Suleiman waved her worries away, "I wish to be surrounded by your voice."

So Hasna sings. Without any backing music in such a large room, it sounds a little haunting, but both Suleiman and Hatice seem to enjoy it, which is a relief. Both clap as she concludes, and Hasna can't help but grin at Suleiman, her childish delight in the face of other people liking her shining through.

That night, when they return to Topkapi palace, Hasna doesn't return to her rooms. Suleiman doesn't let go of her wrist the entire time until they are secure in his room, and, for the first time in a long time, he takes her, and she sleeps in his arms, golden once again.

She hurries back to her rooms in the morning, eager to see her children, and glows throughout the day. She doesn't get upset when she finds out that Suleiman is going on a hunt with Mustafa, Mehmed, and Hurrem.

On the second day that they are gone, Hatice comes to see the twins before she sets back out with Gulfem. "Why don't you come and visit me later? I wish to return now, but I know you take the twins to the physician first."

Hasna nods eagerly. "I will come. If Fatma allows, maybe they can travel. I'll set out soon."

Fatma recommends the twins not travel for another month unless necessary, so after stopping at Valide Sultan, Hasna goes through her now regular routine. Elif and Nefise both carry daggers, and Habil Aga is fully armed by her door. Asli stays with them, and they will shut into her rooms.

Only, this time Emine Kalfa can't come with her, so Hasna takes one of the girls who had helped her before, Beyza.

"Come, Beyza. We will set out for Hatice Sultan's palace, and be there in a little while."

Hasna glances out over the gardens, as a chill washes over her. Should she go? Something is telling her to stay.

But Hasna promised, and she hates breaking a promise.

So the carriage pulls out of Topkapi Palace.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

WARNING: This portion features physical assault with a weapon, and several minor character deaths. Additionally, this is your reminder that this book remains mostly show accurate and we're in the midst of episodes 19 and 20, the Janissary revolt. Please skip to next chapter if this makes you uncomfortable.

They're an hour from Al-Meydani when the carriage slows.

Beyza leans out to see what is happening, but the palace guard with them immediately signals to put her head back inside.

"What is happening," Hasna inquires in a hush.

Beyza looks worried. "There is a great deal of fire up ahead, perhaps from the woods. I think they are checking."

Hasna nods, but can't hide the flash of panic. The horses would get tired and need rest soon; it would be dangerous to remain on the road for longer than needed.

Suddenly though, there seems to be an increased number of voices, yells and then what sounds like clashing swords before the carriage rocks, and Hasna and Beyza both scream.

They rip her out by her hair, and Hasna can't help but scream in anguish as they drag her across the road, causing cuts to form as they did. The first thing she is able to see when they finally stop is that her guards are dead. The second thing is that these men have no idea who she is. They know she's from the palace because the Agas wore palace uniforms, but they don't know who she is.

Then there is a long blade against her throat as her hair is pulled back. "Who are you," is demanded harshly.

Against her better wisdom, Hasna refuses to answer.

She is rewarded for her bravery with a slap and the blade being pressed. "Who. Are. You."

Hasna can't help the little whimper. "Hasna Sultan. I am mother to Sehzade Osman and Cennet Sultan."

The grip on her hair loosens. The blade does not move.

"You are the concubine of Sultan Suleiman?"

Hasna goes to nod before remembering the edge. "Yes. I am his newest sultana. Please. I will not do anything. Just let me go home to my children. Please."

Someone outside of her field of vision laughs. It is not a happy one. "Your children are dead. The Janissary march on Topkapi at this very moment."

Hasna lets out a small cry, "please. Please, I'll give you all the gold I have, all of my jewelry, anything you want, please don't kill my children."

She is breathing faster, panicking. Her babies are alone in Topkapi with only Elif and Nefise to protect them; no mother, no father.

The man, the barbarian she still can't see, is seemingly very intrigued. "Anything? Sultanim that is a very big offer. What if what I want is you?"

Hasna freezes, and idly realizes she hasn't seen Beyza this whole time. Luckily, however, the leader of this group of janissaries is no fool, as he immediately steps up and seemingly hits the janissary harassing her. No! This is Hasna Sultan! If we touch her, the Padishah will kill us all. Leave her here."

Hasna begins praying, over and over as the men consider their leader's words. Finally they began to move away, but not before one pulled his knife and cut her cheek straight down. He drags it over her arm, and before she could fully process what has happened, he lodges it into her thigh, and she collapses, screaming in pain.

Hasna can hear the men move back onto the road toward Hatice Sultan's palace, but as she lays bleeding in the woods her last thoughts are of her children, whose names she repeats over and over again like a prayer.

She knows what happens to motherless children in Topkapi.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Suleiman marched through his palace until he reached Ayaz Pasha, "The rebellion is over, the janissaries are retreating. What is the damage?"

"The janissary Agha Mustafa was behind it," replied Ayaz Pasha. "He incited the corp with help from his closest ally, Foreign Minister Haydar Effendi. They burned, pillaged and laid waste to the neighborhoods. Together with the halberdiers and the guards we were able to hold back the rebels. We have not suffered any losses, only a few wounded, however the tradesmen and Frankish traders have suffered great losses."

"And what of my Valide and my harem?"

"We sent them below to the cellar to safety. They have returned to their rooms now."

Suleiman nods, "good."

Ayaz Pasha hesitates for a moment before speaking, "We have not found Hatice Sultan. She was trapped in her palace, I have sent guards. We believe Hasna Sultan to be there with her."

Suleiman's face dropped. "Have them keep my horse ready, I will go and retrieve them all personally."

Suleiman hurried away to go and see his mother. "Validem," he exclaimed, bursting through her doors.

She grasped her son in her arms for a moment before he pulled away. "Validem, it is over, do not worry."

"Have you brought Hatice?"

"She was trapped, but don't worry, I will go personally to get her. What of Hasna? Ayaz Pasha told me she went to her palace."

Valide's face dropped. "She would have been on the road when the attacks started. I do not know what came of her."

Suleiman couldn't hide his despair. "What of Hurrem? How are my princes at least?"

Valide immediately panics. "Weren't they with you?"

Suleiman shakes his head, "I sent them ahead because Mustafa was restless. They should have been here already."

Valide shakes her head, "What has happened to them?"

Suleiman doesn't bother to wait to hear her, turning around and running out the door. Two of his women, and two of his princes are missing. The whole dynasty is at risk.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Suleiman charges forth on his horse, a group of guards both on foot beside him and on horses at his back. He's praying that Hasna had made it to Hatice before the coup reached his sister's palace, but as they approach the halfway point, his hopes are dashed by the gruesome sight before them. Two guards, as well as a concubine he vaguely recognizes, lay slaughtered on the road, their horses beside them. The carriage is overturned but mostly undamaged, although it is not the one Hurrem had been in, which means it belongs to Hasna.

Four of the guards on foot spread out to find what they assume to be the body of the sultana. Everyone has their swords out, backs up, because even though the revolt has stopped, that doesn't mean that the Sultan isn't still a target.

That doesn't stop him from getting off his horse and looking for his bulbul himself. Launching himself down, the Emperor of the world ordered his soldiers to, "spread out! Find her. The rest of you carry on to Hatice Sultan's palace. HASNA!"

Suleiman and his foot soldiers spread out, and though it takes a few minutes, Suleiman is the one who finds her. Hasna is lying in a small ditch, covered in dirt, her alabaster skin coated in grimy blood, the dagger still lodged in her leg, likely the only thing keeping her alive. Suleiman hurries forward, scooping her up into his arms. He kisses her lightly before handing her back to his eunuc guard on horseback. "Ride back immediately with Hasna Sultan. Have the physician tend to her. I am entrusting her to you."

The guard nods, encasing Hasna Sultan in his arms, and galloping off with her. Suleiman watches them leave for a moment before turning back toward Hatice's palace. He has to know if his sons are alive.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Gulfem's relief at the sight of him makes something in Suleiman's stomach twist. Once again, he will be left with the devastating task of telling Gulfem that Hasna has been hurt.

His focus, however, does not remain on his first woman for long, his attention split between his sons, healthy and alive thankfully, and Hatice, who looks to be the exact opposite.

"Hatice?"

The bloodborn Sultana looks nothing short of devastated as her brother comes to sit beside her in bed. He looks to Gulfem when Hatice cannot bring herself to speak.

Gulfem swallows, "she fell down some stairs during our escape. Thankfully, she survived. She will recover. However..." Gulfem trails off. It is up to Hatice to say what has happened.

After a moment's pause, Hatice does so. "Hun-Kharim, they killed my baby. I lost it."

Suleiman turns his head, trying to hide the anguish he feels for his baby sister. The women in his life had suffered greatly in the last twenty-four hours.

Heads will roll because of it.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Within hours, Suleiman, Hatice, Gulfem, Hurrem, and the princes are back in Topkapi Palace. Suleiman pauses only to get information about Hasna from his Valide.

"The physicians set to work immediately, my lion. She is alive, and fighting. I have Cennet and Osman in the royal nursery."

Suleiman nods before striding away to his youngest sultana's rooms. He will see her before he takes the heads of the leaders of the rebellion.

He arrives to an unfortunately familiar sight. Hasna's rooms bustle with activity while she herself remains still. Fatma and her aides are working on the various wounds left on Hasna's body. The wound on her arm is already dressed, and her face is wrapped tightly to prevent anything worse. They are working diligently on the wound on her leg, which seemingly has ceased bleeding but still remains open.

"How is she?"

All three women startle and then immediately bow. Fatma rises and addresses the question. "As well as to be expected, Hun-Kharim. Hasna Sultan's body has been through a great ordeal once again. We have helped to close the wound on her face, she will need to leave it covered for a time, and it will likely leave a small mark, as will the cut on her arm."

Suleiman nodded, "and the one on her leg?"

The physician frowned, "I am afraid that will remain, Hun-Kharim, as it is very deep. We have done all we can for it. I have given her a tonic to help her rest, for her pain has kept her awake."

Suleiman frowned, but nodded, "thank you. I will return in the evening to check on her. See to it that she is cared for."

The women bow again and return to their duty to care for the young sultana.

Suleiman steps out and turns to head to the second courtyard. It is time for justice to be served.

Before he beheads the janissary leaders, Suleiman demands the one who stabbed Hasna. The men turn him in, for they are not fools, and he is made one head shorter, his body to be dumped in an unmarked grave and forgotten.

Suleiman returns to Hasna's rooms afterwards, and finds that Cennet and Osman are in their cradles in her rooms. Nefise and Elif are with them, both looking exhausted, but clearly determined to be with their mistress.

He does not send them away.

He comes to sit beside Hasna's bed, and studies her wrapped face. The bruises mar most of the visible ivory skin. Her blue eyes are closed and likely won't reopen for another day or two, so Suleiman gently lifts her hand and places a kiss on it.

When she awakens, her Tulip will be ready. It has been delayed for Hatice's wedding, and then Selim, and Egypt, but Hasna deserves to have her position recognized.

She will wake for it. He is sure. She has to. 

Suleiman pulls away reluctantly, and goes to see his children. It is Osman who is fussy this time, seemingly missing his mother. He settles in his Baba's arms, though not without a little whimper. "Osman, my lion cub. Your mother has been hurt and separated from you to many times to count. May this be the last of it."

He turns to look back at the mother of his children, and repeats himself, as if to make sure he is being listened to. "Please let this be the last of it."

Chapter Text

Hasna awakens a day later, in agony. Nefise and Elif are by her side within seconds of her letting out a whimper of pain. Hasna's eye is swollen on the right side due to the wound, so she can only see out of her left properly, but what she can see is that her two closest friends look pale and exhausted.

So the first proper sentence out of her mouth isn't to ask about Suleiman or her children, it's to ask about them. "Are you both alright?"

Nefise's laugh is watery, "we are fine, Sultanim. You are once again not. I should have been with you."

Hasna raised her right hand, the unmarked arm, and offered it to Nefise, who took it gently. "Then you would have been hurt, or dead. Beyza is dead. This is better. I am alive."

Elif frowned, "and in pain. I will go and retrieve Fatma Hatun so she can provide you with more tonic and check you over."

Hasna closes her eye. "Please. Everything hurts."

She doesn't remember much after that. The sensation of a tonic being forced down her throat, the feeling of a bandage being changed, then something that might have been soup. She can't bring herself to open her eyes, the weight of it is too much for her.

Not even when Suleiman comes.

He strides through the doors like a man possessed. It is likely because no one had told him Hasna was awake until a few minutes ago, what with him being in meetings and then with Hurrem.

Even without opening her eyes, though, Hasna is able to tell it is him. "Suleiman," she calls out softly.

A moment later, Hasna feels his large hand take hers, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into the top of it. She forces her eye open for a moment, so that he can see she is awake, alive before letting her eye fall shut again.

"My beautiful bulbul, I am very happy to see you awake."

Hasna wants to scoff. She is the furthest thing from beautiful right now.

As if able to read her mind, Suleiman sits beside her and kisses up her arm ever so gently. "You are still so beautiful, my bulbul, You will heal from these injuries. Fatma tells me that the only one that will leave a deep mark is the one on your leg. It is of no matter to me. You are still one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen."

Hasna sighs a little, "will you stay? Until I fall asleep?"

Suleiman nods, "of course, my bulbul."

So Hasna, her hand tucked in Suleiman's, is able to fall asleep in peace.

The next time she awakens, Hasna finds that she is not alone, though it is not Suleiman who sits in her rooms.

It is Hurrem.

The fiery redhead Sultana is holding Selim while Nefise and Elif are holding Osman and Cennet, respectively. The two elder children sit by their mother's feet admiring the siblings.

Hasna's eye flutters under the weight of exhaustion, and so she reluctantly closes it again, but still manages to speak. "Nefise?"

Her head maid is by her side a moment later, Osman still in her arms from the sound of it. "Sultanim. Are you alright? Can I get you soup? Do you wish to go to hammam?"

Hasna shook her head ever so slightly.

"What happened?"

Nefise freezes, though of course Hasna can't see. They've been going through this for two days. Sometimes Hasna would awaken and remember everything.

Other times, the last thing she would know is that she had to get to Al-Meydani.

This seemed to be one of those times.

Except, "Hurrem. What is wrong?"

Oh. Hasna is confused as to why Hurrem has come to keep her company.

Rightfully so. All things considered, while the two women have become friendly, Hurrem has never been the one to make the first move before.

The ginger rises from her seat on Hasna's divan and approaches, lightly taking Hasna's hand in her own. "I am fine, Hasna. You said you wished for our children to grow up close to one another. Since you cannot leave your rooms for a time, I have decided to bring my children to you."

Hasna would smile if it didn't currently feel like doing so would tear her face apart. Finally. Hasna doesn't have to be the only one doing the work to make things run more smoothly in Suleiman's harem.

"Thank you, Hurrem. I am happy you have come." Hasna forces her eye open again, "Nefise. Help me sit up. I wish to see the children."

Hurrem's face does not hide her concern. "Hasna, you should be resting. Perhaps I can take Osman and Cennet to the gardens or to my rooms."

Hasna manages to shake her head slightly as Elif places Cennet in her cradle in order to come and help Nefise lift Hasna. Once she is seated upright against the mountain of pillows, Hasna finds she is able to keep her eye open a little longer. "No. It is fine, Hurrem. I simply wish to see what is happening. I am happy that our children will grow up close to one another. Better this than not at all."

Like Mustafa, who would only ever know his siblings as adults due to his mother's unwillingness to consider family over the future.

Hurrem hesitates before nodding herself, and releases Hasna's hand. "Alright." Turning to Elif, Hurrem ordered, "go and find Emine Kalfa. Since she is not here, she must be in the harem. Ask her to deliver food that Hasna Sultan can eat, as well as enough for myself and the children."

Elif glanced over to her mistress, who waved her now free hand. It is as much of an ok as she is able to give.

So Hasna, Hurrem, and their children spend the afternoon together, and even though it is somewhat painful to laugh, Hasna finds she doesn't mind all that much when it comes with the opportunity to develop a friendship with the only woman able to even remotely understand her position in the harem.

It is strange how such a lonely position invites people in.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hours later, the sun has set, and the children should really be off to bed, but the two mothers have been enjoying themselves.

That is how Suleiman finds his favorites.

Hurrem had not been in her rooms, which isn't unusual. She sometimes takes dinner in the harem, able to oversee the women who come and go. The children being gone, however, had led him to inquire with Emine Kalfa, who had been walking towards Hasna's rooms, and who smiles happily, perhaps for the first time that Suleiman has seen.

"Hurrem Sultan, Sehzade Mehmet, Mihrimah Sultan, and Sehzade Selim are in Hasna Sultan's chambers, Hun-Kharim. The children have been spending time together, and Hurrem Sultan has been graciously keeping Hasna Sultan company."

Suleiman's head twists in the direction of his younger sultana's rooms, two halls away. "They are together?"

"Yes, Hun-Kharim. They have been all afternoon. There has been much laughter coming from Hasna Sultan's chambers."

Laughter. Suleiman nods, and heads away without continuing the conversation. As he approaches, he can hear for himself, the bell-like laughter that had caused Suleiman to rename his redhead Hurrem, and the softer, gentler laugh of his bulbul, who is probably in pain doing anything more than that.

He peaks in through the open door and finds Hasna on the far side of her bed, Osman and Cennet in their blankets on her good side. On the side of the bed, Hurrem sits with Selim in her arms, while Mehmet and Mihrimah eat dinner. The two mothers are showing the newest members of the dynasty their siblings, and there is much fascination being shared by the three babies.

Suleiman wants to join, but knows that Hasna, if not Hurrem, will certainly shift into a place of decorum.

He stays back.

This is the happiest he has seen his two women in a long time. He doesn't want to be the one to take that away.

Suleiman goes to bed alone that night, but not unhappily.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

In time, Hasna recovers. It is a slow going process, one that does not come easily either. First, she regains the use of her bandaged arm. The cut there had been shallow, and she's able to use it again within days. Then, the facial bandages come away, right around the time the Russian concubines come to Topkapi.

Suleiman has come to see her since she has begun to recuperate, but she has not been intimate with him since that night coming back from Hatice's palace three weeks prior. Before that, it had been just before they had found out she was pregnant with the twins, a year.

Needless to say, Hasna is feeling neglected.

The Russian Concubines don't help anything. Hasna can't help but see her new scar on her face, the one that will likely fade with time but always remain, and the still bandaged wound on her leg, the one that will leave an ugly mark, and then compare herself to the two blonde beauties.

It sends Hurrem into a rage spiral that Hasna gets to hear. 

Multiple times.

She's only a little hurt by their presence, Hasna has lived in as a slave longer than she hasn't and knows the rules of the harem.

She's definitely more than a little hurt by Hurrem's revelation about Sadika.

Hasna had known that Sadika was supposed to walk the golden road, that she had been interrupted due to something or another, the reason having long since slipped Hasna's mind.

Suleiman hadn't forgotten, clearly.

That, for some reason, is the most embarrassing. The woman is not even a concubine in the harem anymore. She's a seemingly sweet girl, heroic as well, for saving the lives of the princes. She runs Hatice's palace, a job Hasna would have killed to have, once. There are rumors she is even to be wed to Matracki Nasuh Effendi, who Hasna has found to be a sweet gentleman, one she would have suggested for Elif if the girl still wanted to wed someone with a title and money.

So Hasna has been having a grand old time in the midst of her recovery.

Hasna misses the physicality of her relationship, bizarrely. She loves her children, would die for them and could not imagine a life without them, but she misses the life when she was just Hasna Hatun, the songbird of the Sultan, and the one he called for every night.

Those days feel like a century ago now.

But tonight is Tuesday, and it is Hasna's night.

Hurrem has technically walked the golden road on Tuesday before, but Suleiman had been more rigid in his schedule since the birth of the twins, wanting to be able to spend at least one night a week with them. So while Hasna hadn't been physical with Suleiman, she supposed she had been intimate.

Then Valide Sultan does the cruelest thing she has done since Hasna became a favorite;

She assigns one of the Russian girls to walk on her night.

Hasna is completely distraught. She has already been struggling to return to normalcy with the arrival of her children, but now these new injuries from the revolt seemed to be the final nail in her coffin. Hasna would never be golden again.

It is because she is not beautiful enough any longer.

Tanya is tall, blonde, and beautiful. There are no healing scars, or permanent marks visible for anyone to see. 

Hasna is none of those things.

That is what the depressed 17-year-old convinces herself. The small scar on her face and the larger wound on her leg make her unattractive. Suleiman does not like a canvas marred with mistakes, and only likes things to remain behind if made by him. Neither mark left by the knife is by his hand, so Hasna is damaged goods.

This is her fate.

Just the idea of it causes Hasna to crumble into a pile of tears. She is seemingly inconsolable, but not sobbing. It is odd, how, with a baby in each arm, she simply cannot stop sniffling. One would think Hasna had caught a chill until they looked closely and could see tears falling down her face. When it is time for the babies to take their naps, Hasna sends a reluctant Nefise and Elif into the other room and allows herself some time to cry properly in peace.

Which is how Hurrem finds her.

Hasna is used to being alone in her rooms. She brings or sends her children to the Valide, and usually, she is the one who has to go to Hurrem. With Hatice moved out and married, Gulfem has been spending less and less time with the third favorite.

Hasna had banked on being alone.

Hurrem is immediately on guard when she sees her friend crying at the foot of her bed. "Hasna! What has happened?"

Hasna sniffles pitifully, "He doesn't want me anymore. I am ugly and damaged and Valide has decided to send Tanya and he accepted."

Hurrem's face turned red with anger, both at Suleiman and Valide. It is bad enough that Hurrem has to share the man she loves with Hasna, who is at least sweet and respectful, but now these Russian concubines as well? How much more is she expected to handle?

Hurrem sits beside Hasna, "I am sorry, Hasna-m. It is cruel that she has done this to you. You deserve better."

Hasna whimpered. "This palace has been filled with so much sadness and death. How can any love be expected to survive it?"

Hurrem rose suddenly. "They will not take our nights, and they will not take Suleiman away. I will fix it."

Before Hasna could even take a moment to consider the implication of those words, Hurrem is gone. Hasna cries even harder. If something happens, Hurrem will now blame her too.

She doesn't find out until the next morning what Hurrem has done, when a flustered Emine Kalfa, and worried Habil Aga come before her together.

"Sultanim, Hurrem Sultan has gone crazy."

Hasna sighed heavily, her already morose mood sinking further. Damn. Hurrem had finally convinced Valide and the other royals that she would be well behaved. Undoubtedly she had now thrown it all away.

"What happened?"

Emine Kalfa sighed, "she went before the Sultan last night, and interrupted the Russian's walk down the golden road."

Hasna scoffs. "That is not crazy, it is just sneaky." And mean.

"No, Sultanim. She threatened the Sultan. She went crazy on him, and everyone in the hall could hear it."

Hurrem stood before the Sultan, her bejeweled dagger grasped tightly in her hand. The Emperor of the World looks befuddled, to say the least.

"What is this Hurrem?"

Hurrem sighed wetly, "I have never been disrespectful to you. I have accepted exile and slander for you. I have nearly died for your love. How could you do this to me? How can you read love poems to me and then go and lie with other women? What sort of love is this? I have accepted Hasna because she loves you deeply, and she is my friend, but how much more can I take?"

She took a deep breath. "I die behind this door every day. Now take this dagger and kill me."

Suleiman huffs angrily. "Enough, Hurrem! Go and take care of your children. I will not tolerate this disrespect!"

Hurrem sheds a tear. "I am to respect you. But you can tear it down and ruin it and walk all over me, is that it? I have seen it all. I bear it all. Gulnihal, Mahidevran, Hasna. Hasna, who loves you so much that she is willing to sit in her rooms alone so she doesn't upset you. Sadika Hatun in Ibrahim's palace. The concubine at the door. Are the women you already have not enough?"

"HURREM! That is enough!"

Suddenly, Hurrem's back is against the door, his hand at her neck. "Do not confuse me with someone else. I am not Mahidevran. I will not share you or our love with any more women!"

Hasna puts her face in her hands. "That fool. What has she done? Not only will he certainly exile her, she's put me in the line of fire now as well."

Habil Aga shared a look with Emine before he spoke. "Sultanim, you should know, he sent Tanya Hatun away. He spent the night alone."

Hasna sniffled. "I do not care, Habil Aga. I was not with him, and now I will surely be in trouble for something I did not even do. Please just leave me. Take the children to visit Valide Sultan, tell her my wounds were bothering me and I needed to rest, alone."

Emine hesitated, "Sultanim, perhaps you shouldn't be alone."

That finally seemed to push Hasna over the edge. "I AM ALREADY ALONE! Leave me be!"

Everyone in the room freezes for a moment before springing into action. Hasna has never raised her voice before. But instead of being upset and disappointed, it only makes the people in her service more worried. Hasna is clearly on a tightrope of her emotions.

Better to leave her to figure out what she needs.

Except she doesn't get to be alone for long. Hasna has finally calmed down enough to get things done in her room, and she rises to get her needles to finish a little dress for Cennet, except she moves too quickly and her injured leg buckles beneath her, causing Hasna to fall with a cry. She lands on her hands and knees, but is fine other than the frustration.

"You can't even walk correctly Hasna, how could you think anyone wants you," she mutters bitterly to herself. Sighing, she doesn't bother to get up, allowing herself to feel bad. Except that suddenly there are a pair of arms lifting Hasna up. The Sultana lets out a yelp of surprise before turning and realizing it is Suleiman. As soon as she is back on her feet, Hasna bows while trying to wipe away her tears. "Hun-Kharim, I am sorry, I did not hear you come in."

Suleiman studies his songbird, "how could you ever think I do not want you? My bulbul you are one of the things I desire most in the world."

Hasna could only sniffle sadly. "I am not the same as I was before... before. I know that. I am trying though."

Suleiman cups Hasna's face, flushed red, the tears making her blue eyes sparkle like the sea. "My bulbul, there is nothing in this world that will ever make me stop wanting you. I am sorry that I ever let you feel that way."

Hasna hurriedly shakes her head, "you do not have to apologize, Suleiman. I got stuck in my head, and thought the worst of everything. You are the Padisah. It is not my place to question a decision you make. It is only one Tuesday."

And there it is. In her ramblings to get Suleiman not to think he has to apologize, she reveals her truth, as she always does.

Suleiman sits at the foot of her bed, pulling Hasna with him as he does. She goes without a fight, not that she ever would, but her body is exhausted. "Last night was a Tuesday, and I did not come to you, or call for you."

Hasna shook her head, "but you do not have to, Suleiman. I have simply gotten used to it, but that does not mean that you are required to do so."

"No. I am not. But, I would like to."

Hasna tilts her head, confused, and a little hopeful. "Suleiman?"

Suleiman sighs, taking Hasna's hands and bringing them up to his lips, kissing them both before placing them in his lap. "Bulbulum, you are the greatest surprise to have come to me in this palace. Years ago, when you were gifted to Gulfem Hatun, you had already caught my eye for your beauty, but you were young, too young, and a balm to my mourning woman. I would not take you then. Then Ayse was murdered, and in yet another time of great sadness in my harem, you appeared before me again, like an angel."

Hasna reached up to cup his face, and Suleiman allowed it, but continued speaking. "Hasna, I chose you. No matter what my Valide thinks, no matter how you came to be in Topkapi, I could have turned you away if I didn't want you. But I did, and I do. I do want you. You have given me Osman and Cennet, and those dreams about more children are not going to remain dreams if I have anything to say about it. Last night, Hurrem came before me. She was furious with me about the Russian concubines,"

Here, Hasna does cut the Sultan off. "I did not know she would do such a thing, Suleiman. She has been trying so hard to make life better in Topkapi, and had I known, I would have tried to prevent it. I am sorry."

Suleiman shook his head with a laugh. "She is fire, Hasna-m. That is why I chose you. You are water, she is fire, together you balance out. Why do I need more women than the two of you? I promised you, in the beginning, that I would love you, and I do. Tuesdays will be your night, no one will take them from you again. Whether it is us together, us with our children, whatever it is, you shall always have the third day until the day we are parted in the end."

Hasna smiled tearfully, "do you promise?"

To ask such a thing of the Sultan of the World could be seen as insulting, but to Suleiman, in the midst of professing his love, it feels innocent, and full of admiration, of Hasna's own love for him. "I do."

Something in Hasna settles at his affirmation. Leaning against him, Hasna heaves a deep sigh orf relief. She is the third favorite, but not the least favorite, and the fact that Suleiman is willing to give her a day just for her is all she needs.

For now.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

In fact, that Tuesday, after the dust has settled on the removal of the Russian concubines, and Hasna would have to evaluate why that worked later, and what it means that it came from Hurrem, Suleiman keeps his word.

That morning, as he has done most mornings since becoming Sulan, Suleiman goes before his mother seeking her blessing.

"Validem, good morning. I have come to seek your blessing."

Valide rises, allowing her son to kiss her hand with a smile. "My lion, you have my blessing always."

Suleiman nodded but did not go to leave as he usually did. "Validem, I have done some thinking and praying. I have decided that from now on, Hasna will always be called on Tuesday nights. As she is the mother of two of my children, it is important to me that I have a proper night with them should I desire, and have her walk the golden road as well. Tonight, she will walk the golden road again."

Valide smiles, though it does not reach her eyes. Hasna has given her son two children already. He should be focused on other women. This is why Valide had placed Hasna in his path in the first place. "Of course, my lion, if you think this is appropriate."

Suleiman however, knows his mother better than she would like to admit. "I do, Validem. Hasna soothes a part of me, she makes me happy. I decided this on my own. She was very surprised by my decision. But I think it is best. Besides, I have had a dream about our children, and it cannot be fulfilled without us spending more time together."

This caused Valide to perk up slightly. Suleiman's dreams had always been somewhat prophetic. If he liked what he saw, then she could get on board.

Thankfully it is Hasna and not Hurrem. That, at least, is manageable.

Controllable.

"As you say, my lion. You know what you need."

Suleiman nods. "Thank you, Validem."

Chapter Text

The whole harem knows that Hasna will walk the golden road again by lunch.

She herself does not see the reactions making their way through the harem as she is getting ready in the hammam with Nefise and Hanife, her new maid. That had been another thing that had changed since last week. Suleiman had not liked that by ordering both Elif and Nefise to go with the babies, Hasna had no one to serve her. Emine Kalfa is doing the job of two women thanks to Nigar being in the middle of a tug of war battle between two sultanas, and Hasna feels bad.

Habil Aga had practically lost his mind yesterday, standing on the other side of the door. He hadn't known what to say to the Sultan.

Suleiman had been more worried that Hasna had been using the number of maids as a way to leave herself alone. He didn't like it at all. The idea of one of his sultanas being unaccompanied was the last thing he wanted to consider.

So Hanife joined her service. She's a sweet enough girl, the same age as Nefise, and a little lonely with the passing of Beyza. She and Elif seem to get along well because of their mutual grief over the death of their friend.

Now, Elif is back with Osman and Cennet, along with Asli, and Hasna tries not to think about the fact that technically, the number of staff she has is on par with Hatice.

Well, if one doesn't count Gulfem.

Bitterly, Hasna does, because at least for Hatice, Gulfem seems to be showing up. The older Hatun spends so much time in Al-Meydani that Hasna has hardly seen her lately.

Never mind though. Thinking about things like that takes away from her good mood. Hasna is thrilled at the idea that she will spend some proper time with Suleiman tonight. The night after coming back from Hatice had been wonderful, but this is proper, this is known. Everyone knows that tonight belongs to Hasna, that Suleiman is once again willing to break from tradition and have the same woman walk the golden road after having a son.

That the sultanas remain above them.

That Hasna is above Mahidevran.

That one in particular feels very nice.

So Hasna is scrubbed from top to bottom, her hair is cleansed twice, and she goes and gets ready.

It feels strange to do it in her rooms. This is the first time Hasna gets ready in her own space, away from prying eyes. Even as a favorite in her own room, Hasna had made use of the harem's facilities in order to get primped and pretty. Now, she sits before her own vanity, all of the jewels she could possibly want, all of the little headbands and small coronets, but Hasna will wear none of them tonight.

Suleiman is making her feel like it is the very first night, and so she will dress like it. Hasna had had no jewelry the first night, relying on the pearls of the gown the Valide had chosen to stand out on their own.

It hadn't mattered really. Suleiman had undressed her within 20 minutes that first night.

Hasna picked her dress for tonight with the intention that it would be off even faster. She is dressed in a gorgeous soft green dress with sleeves that are completely sheer and a neckline low enough to be inappropriate outside of a harem. It is somewhat reminiscent of the gown she wore the day she was converted, and hoped that it would invoke some memories for Suleiman.

So, Hasna kisses her sleeping children in their cradles, reminds Elif and Nefise of what to do as always, and takes Hanife with her down the golden road.

When she arrived at the hall leading to his door, Hanife went to announce her to the bowing agas, but they stepped aside before she could. "Hun-Kharim has said Hasna sultan should go straight in."

Hasna beams brightly before turning to her maid. "Hanife, you should come back in the morning. Go and rest now." Without waiting for confirmation, Hasna hurried down the little hallway and knocked on the door before opening it to let herself in.

As soon as she is inside, Hasna dips into a bow, rising to approach Suleiman. She goes to bow to kiss his robes, but he stops her before she can. Grasping her chin, Suleiman leans down and kisses her. Hasna chases his lips until he finally pulls away, leaving her breathless. Then, he recites his new poem about her.

"In the moon's embrace, you serenade the night, my nightingale,

Your song, a gentle lullaby that dances through the dark,

With every breath, you weave a tapestry of love,

Binding our hearts in a symphony of whispered dreams."

Hasna beams up at her lover, "it is beautiful Suleiman. Thank you."

Suleiman returns her smile with a soft one of his own. "You provide me with much inspiration, my Bulbul. I will write about you until I can no longer write, until my words can no longer leave my mouth."

Hasna's delighted sigh is swallowed by another kiss, and then another, and another, and another.

There is something special about being marked when it is welcomed. Hasna's scars and wounds are a reminder of what she has endured, but they look less gruesome next to a bite from Suleiman. His marks were a familiar sensation to her body, even if it had been a long time since she bore anything near the amount she is littered with now.

She will have to wear proper sleeves for weeks.

But as she lays beside the man she loves, his arms wrapped around her, holding her close, Hasna finds that she doesn't mind. There are things that a year ago, Hasna would have been completely embarrassed at. But in the face of motherhood, and her attacks, she finds that there is in fact not enough reason to hold onto these embarrassments.

Especially not when the girls in the harem are staring with admiration and jealousy, not judgment.

Even Hurrem can't help but smile in the face of Hasna's joy when she returns from halvet. She changes into a beautiful teal gown, minimal in its design but able to cover everything left on her.

But even if she had remained in her green gown, no one's attention would remain on the marks for long, not with the beautiful Tulip adorning her neck.

It had only been in recent years that women who gave the dynasty a Sehzade were considered to be "worthy" of their dynasty. None, however, were ever gifted a tulip, the very symbol of the dynasty, before.

Until Hurrem. With her beautiful Emerald and Ruby brooch that was designed to be noticed. Against her red hair and fair skin it glowed beautifully, which is good because she wears it nearly every day for the first few weeks.

Hasna's is more delicate, but it is also a necklace, one she doesn't have to take off if she doesn't want to. Covered in diamonds and the occasional pearl, the piece is refined, elegant, and clearly meant to last.

Worthy of the woman who had given the dynasty two children in a single pregnancy.

He had given it to her before she left his rooms that morning. 

"I have finally finished your gift," he proclaims as Hasna dresses. She had chosen a gown she could don by herself, but Suleiman still helps her button. 

Hasna is confused. "You have already given me the dagger and the stole, Suleiman-m. What other gift could I need?"

Her lover steps away for a moment to his desk, where he picks up a piece Hasna had seen him working on before, but never assumed it was for her. He approaches, allowing Hasna to see a beautiful diamond tulip. 

Hasna gasps, her hand fluttering up to her neck almost unconsciously. "Suleiman, it is magnificent. But it is a Tulip. I am not a member of the dynasty."

Suleiman smiles, kissing her neck lightly. "You are the mother of two members of the dynasty. Besides, I have determined that you are worthy of such a piece. Am I not Sultan of the World?"

Hasna nods, looking away from the necklace to study the face of the man she loves. "You are everything, Suleiman. I would love you if we were field workers in Manisa, or sellers in the market. Thank you."

It is not ostentatious, but it is incredibly different from the sunburst flower style Suleiman had gifted Hasna when she had been just a favorite, before they had even known of her pregnancy. That had been rubies and diamonds, meant to stand out, especially against the flush of her pale skin.

This is meant to catch the light, but it stands out because it looks like it belongs. Hasna has always looked a little bit like Valide Sultan, and Hatice. Her children making her a sultana reaffirms the narrative that she belongs. Then, to bestow the symbol of the dynasty upon her, beyond even what Mahidevran has, is a big blow to any girl who is still somehow convinced she will ever walk the golden road in the wake of the Russians being sent away.

So Hasna's decision to cover up is a matter of privacy and respect, not embarrassment, and not fear of being inappropriate.

Aside from that, even if she had been embarrassed, Hasna has also been ordered to wear it, to not be ashamed of representing the dynasty. Suleiman knows how his mother can be with some of the pieces his women wear. He also knows that Hasna loves his family, and wouldn't wear it if it meant making them happy and preserving the traditions.

Unfortunately for Valide, when it comes to the harem, her son has seen it fit to break the rules. So, to save Hasna from the glares and potential mistreatment, by his family at least, he brings it up to his Valide in the morning, before Hasna arrives with their children.

" Validem, good morning. I have come to seek your blessing."

The procedure between mother and son begins the same every single time, whatever comes after the blessing being the unique factor.

"Good morning, my lion. You have my blessing," and she offers her hand for a kiss.

After giving his mother a kiss, he begins, very similarly as he did when he told his mother he was setting Tuesdays aside just for Hasna and their children. "I have gifted Hasna a Tulip necklace. I have decided she is worthy of wearing the symbol of our dynasty, for her contribution and continued care. I have ordered that she should wear it all the time, unless she wishes to switch it out with a different piece I will give her or have given her. Do not be angry with her when you see it."

Valide had sat straight on her Divan. "My lion, it is not appropriate for those not born into the dynasty to wear our symbol. Hasna has indeed contributed our wonderful Osman and Cennet, but she does not carry the blood of this dynasty."

Suleiman took a deep breath, "but she has given us two members, and she will give us more, for as I have told you, I have no intention of ceasing to call on her. She will wear the tulip. I have ordered it. So it is done."

Valide studied her son intently for a moment before nodding. Just as she had determined it for Tuesdays, she determines that things that pertain to Hasna are simply not worth fighting over. Hurrem makes her son burn hot with desire and a fiery love. Hasna calms him, the rational side to Hurrem's impulsiveness. Better to leave her unharmed. "So it shall be. I will not say anything, but there may be those who will."

Mahidevran, in particular. She and Hurrem have never gotten along, but now to have his two later sultanas bear the symbol of the dynasty, and she remains without it? It would be too large of an insult for her to let go.

Suleiman huffed, "those who will may say something to me. Anyone who antagonizes Hasna,  or  Hurrem, will have me to answer to. I am tired of it."

So it has been determined. Hasna wears her tulip in front of the whole harem on Thursday when she brings Osman and Cennet to the harem proper to take lunch with the girls. Hasna's popularity has increased, obviously with the birth of the twins but also with her regular contributions of fabric and small amounts of gold to the harem. All of these interactions take place with permission from Valide, lest Hasna overstep, but the girls all like her because of it.

And Hasna's Sehzade and Sultana are little angels. Her four month old babies are beginning to develop their individual personalities. Osman, shy and quiet that he is, is also a charmer. He hardly cries, and is happy to flash a gummy smile at any of the hatuns who are given the honor of holding him.

Cennet is more particular, but the older girls, the ones that has come into the harem at the same time Hasna had followed Gulfem, like Fatma, Safiye, and Esra, all seem to satisfy the heavenly sultana's unknowable requirements. Though Elif is chief among any of them, having bonded with the sultana since she was a newborn while most of the harem girls hadn't even seen Hasna's twins until they were nearly three months old with the combination of illness, bed rest, and Hasna's general paranoia.

She'd been forced to get over it. The Sehzade and Sultana are meant to be symbols of the future, and the people, the harem, need to be able to see that.

Of course, nothing in the harem remains peaceful for long.

It is a Wednesday night, and as far as Hasna is aware, neither she nor Hurrem has been called for, at least until she finds out that Suleiman has instead gone to Hurrem.

Her stunt with the dagger had really enthralled him.

Hasna had sighed, but been ok with it. What is the point of being sad over someone who came before you, someone who is her friend, and someone whose Sehzade is older?

"Hanife, would you give me a massage by my head? I have an aching pain."

Nefise, who is holding Osman while Cennet is fed by Asli, watches her friend with curiosity. "What is on your mind, Sultanim?"

That is also new. Hasna has never enforced her title with Nefise and Elif, but Hanife is quite formal still, and honestly, if Nefise or Elif ever slipped up, they could get in trouble. So they had been doing it more.

Hasna likes being a Sultana, but she misses hearing her name from her friends' mouths.

"I am just thinking."

Elif, as she always does, has no problem calling bullshit on Hasna's evasive answer, "she is upset with Gulfem Hatun, but won't do anything about it."

Hasna scoffed, "and why should I? I have been so careful and cautious with her feelings, and the only time she comes to see me is when I am hurt or dying. I haven't actually seen her one on one since I was attacked. She is always with Hatice Sultan in Al-Meydani or with Valide."

Jealousy isn't a quality Hasna likes to acknowledge she has, but the 17 year old, as so many others, is in fact quite jealous of Hatice Sultan, for she has Gulfem's seemingly unending attention, leaving Hasna missing her former mistress, friend, and pseudo mother, but feeling like she can't do anything about it because Hatice had suffered too, and she loves Gulfem.

Nefise and Elif share that all-knowing look that irritates Hasna, who goes to say something, only to be cut off by a scream. Very loud, very scared screams.

All four women freeze. "Nefise, Elif, take Osman into the other room, stay there with both of them. Hanife go listen at the door."

All three women do as they are told, Elif pulling the knife Hasna had purchased both of her maids upon the birth of her children. Hanife creeps toward the door when another scream occurs, but this one is familiar to the concubine. "It is Esma," she whispers. "Something must have happened, I will go and see."

Before Hasna can order her to remain, the girl hurries out of the room, reminding the Aghas not to leave their posts as she goes. Habil Aga bursts in a moment later, looking harried. "Sultanim, are you and the Sehzade and Sultana alright?"

Hasna nods, "we're fine, Habil Aga. Hanife went to go and see what the commotion is but she said she thought it was Esma. Something must have happened with Hurrem Sultan."

Habil nods, his face shifting into something like determined dread. "I will remain outside your door. Emine Kalfa has also gone to investigate."

Hasna swallows, "thank you, Habil Aga. I will go to the other room with my children, for safety. Please keep me apprised of the situation."

Habil bows and steps back out, the long knife on his belt glinting in the fire light as he goes.

Hasna is certainly surrounded by a great number of armed people, including herself.

Hasna is left waiting in anxious trepidation for several minutes before a shaken Hanife returns. "Well? What has happened, Hanife?"

Hanife lets out a little sob. "Gulnihal fell asleep in Hurrem Sultan's bed with Sehzade Selim, and someone came into the room looking for Hurrem Sultan, and she has been stabbed many times. They are unsure if she is even alive."

Hasna gasps, rising from beside her maids. "Is Hurrem alright?"

Hanife shook her head, "she is refusing to leave her room. She is convinced someone has tried to assassinate her."

Hasna sighs exhaustedly. "Very well. Hanife, with me. I am going to check on Hurrem and Selim." Turning back to her loyal friends and maids, she instructed, "do not open the doors for anyone other than me or a member of the dynasty. Not even for Mahidevran Sultan. Habil Aga will remain at the doors. I will be back."

By the time Hasna actually gets to Hurrem's rooms, Gulnihal is gone but the blood-soaked sheets remain. "Hurrem," Hasna stated softly. "are you alright? Why don't you and Selim come to my rooms?"

Hurrem shakes her head, the fear and fury rolling off of her in waves. "They killed her, Hasna. They killed Gulnihal, trying to kill me."

Hasna reaches out a hand, trying to soothe her friend. "Hurrem, come to my rooms. There are plenty of people there, it will be much safer this way. Mehmet and Mihrimah have already been brought to my nursery, they don't know anything is wrong."

Hurrem swallows harshly, but after a moment nods. Reluctant though she is to leave the scene of the crime, she would rather be with her children than alone. They don't get very far, however, before Valide bursts into the room.

It is startling for Hasna, to see her wearing no jewels and with her hair loose. Hasna had never seen the mother of the emperor not put together before. Snapping out of it, Hasna, Hurrem, and Nigar all bow before Hurrem, halted from leaving, starts her panic again. "Valide-m, they want to kill me. There are murderers."

Valide sighed softly, "calm down, Hurrem." Turning to Hurrem's Kalfa counterpart Valide ordered, "Nigar, tell me exactly what happened."

"I was in the hammam, Hurrem Sultan was there as well. We bathed and then came back here. Then we found Gulnihal like that."

Valide blinked, processing the story. Hasna herself had only known that Hurrem hadn't been in the room. "Is she dead," Valide questioned.

This was the wrong thing to ask, as Hurrem started crying again. Valide, who did not have much patience for tears, certainly not for Hurrem, sighed again. "Hurrem, don't cry. It is over. Go and get Mihrimah and Mehmet, we will go to my chamber now."

Turning to Daye, Valide instructed, "go and learn what you can about Gulnihal's situation, and have someone check on Mahidevran and my Mustafa, make sure they are alright."

Then she turned to her son's youngest favorite. "Hasna, return to your children, stay with them in your rooms. Habil Aga will remain outside your door along with additional guards. Do not let anyone in unless it is I, the Sultan, or Daye."

Hasna glanced at Hurrem before nodding reluctantly. It was an order, and while Hasna wanted to provide comfort to Hurrem, she also didn't want to be away from her children, not with a murderer on the loose and clearly active.

"Yes, Validem."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

When Hasna returns to her room, she is greeted by the equally worried duo of Habil Aga and Emine Kalfa. "Sultanim, what has happened? Is Gulnihal Hatun alive? Have they caught the murderer," inquires the usually stoic Aga.

Hasna shook her head exhaustedly. It is nearly the middle of the night, and she had been in the process of feeding her children and getting ready to go to bed for the night. Now, with the adrenaline coursing through her veins, accompanied by fear and panic, it would be a miracle if she was able to rest at all.

"They are unsure if she is alive. If she is, it will be a miracle if she survives the night. Hurrem Sultan is convinced someone has tried to assassinate her, and I am not disagreeing with that sentiment. The Sehzade was right next to her in the bed but left unharmed. Whatever this is, it is not finished."

Emine straightens, "is it the same murderer who killed Ayse?"

Hasna glances toward her nursery, where Elif remains with the children. "I hope not. As of now, the whole harem will be a flame that is only going to grow. Girls will accuse each other left and right, and what little trust was there will be gone. You both will have a long few days ahead of you."

Hasna spends the next day in her rooms. She wants to check on Hurrem and Gulnihal, but the desire to stay with her children ultimately wins out every time she thinks of leaving. The harem operates as normally as it can, from what Hanife tells her. The maids have turned over Hurrem's rooms, the other girls are doing their chores, and Hatice has arrived with Ibrahim.

The biggest takeaway of this all, however, is that Gulsah is also in the infirmary, in equally terrible condition from an alleged fall down the stairs.

And, completely separate from that, hah, Mahidevran has been summoned before Valide.

Hasna thanks her lucky stars that Mahidevran and Hurrem tend to fight it out with each other. Mahidevran hardly pays attention to Hasna, for which the young sultana is grateful. She is no one's favorite, and has no true ally, though Hatice likes Hasna.

But if Mahidevran has punished Gulsah for failing to kill Gulnihal, then the whole harem is going to explode. Mustafa is only a child, but it might very well be enough to get Mahidevran banished to the old palace.

Or executed.

Elif and Nefise are individually summoned by Daye Hatun as well. "What did she want," inquires the sultana.

Nefise, who had been called first, sighs. "The usual, Sultanim. To instruct us to never leave you or the Sehzade and Sultana alone, to always keep you safe, that we should be willing to die for you. Which we are, but it was needed."

Hasna nods thoughtfully, "and she didn't say anything about suspecting you, right? You were both with me the whole night."

"No, Sultanim. Ibrahim Pasha was there as well, and he assured us we were not under suspicion. Daye Hatun had been given instructions by Valide Sultan to convey these instructions."

Hasna sighs, "Ibrahim Pasha has his work cut out for him. This investigation has gone nowhere once already." Then, as if realizing what she said, the young mother glanced at her friend guiltily.

Elif only shrugs, "it is not something I don't already believe, Sultanim. He has to do better."

Meanwhile, two halls over, Suleiman is with Hurrem and their two elder children.

"Don't talk about anything that happened around the children."

Hurrem nods, glancing down at her two eldest. "We will be cautious, Hun-Kharim."

Mehmed interrupts his parents. "We went to see Valide Sultan last night. We slept there!"

Suleiman smiles softly, "really?"

Mihrimah nods, joining the conversation, "really, I slept with Valide Sultan. I wanted Cennet to come, but Hasna Sultan said she and Osman were already sleeping. Valide told me a tale instead."

Suleiman grins at his eldest daughter, "Then, when we sleep together tonight, I will tell you a tale too."

Mihrimah nods, as Mehmed stands, "I want to go and play."

"Good idea," says the Sultan, kissing his son on the head.

Hurrem smiles gently, "you can go now. Esma is waiting for you both."

As soon as both children are gone, Suleiman pulls Hurrem close to him. "Do not worry, Hurrem. I will find and behead whoever did this in front of your eyes."

Hurrem sighs softly, "Just stand by me, and I will be able to move on from all the troubles."

Suleiman looks down, the guilt overwhelming him. "I wish I hadn't left you alone last night. These things wouldn't have happened."

Hurrem takes a deep breath. "We have enemies, Hun-Kharim. They are very close, among us. But who? If not for Hasna, I fear I would go crazy."

Suleiman pulls Hurrem in tightly. He will go and see Hasna soon, but for now, he has to comfort his woman.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hasna sits with Osman and Cennet on her divan, playing with them distractedly. She has been fighting back bouts of panic and nausea, which had been coming every time she thought about Selim too long.

What if the murderer hadn't specifically been looking for Hurrem? What if they had come into Hasna's room? Would they have killed her and her children?

She isn't allowed to dwell on the idea for long before there is a knock at the door. Hanife opens it and Hatice enters. Hasna rises and bows. "Sultanim." Turning to her children, Hasna quietly enthuses, "Sehzadem, Sultanim, Hatice Sultan has come to visit."

Though her babies are not old enough to understand, they do follow their mother's voice, and Nefise and Elif rise to bring the twins to greet their aunt.

Hatice is thrilled at the sight of her niece and nephew, taking Osman first and kissing him before doing the same to Cennet, who she keeps in her arms.

With Osman in her own arms, Hasna kisses Hatice's hand before taking the seat on her left. Hatice reaches one hand out and squeezes Hasna's own. "Hasna-m. You should visit me more. I feel as though I hardly see you."

Hasna forces a wobbly smile.

The furthest she's gone outside since the attack has been Suleiman's terrace.

It has been easy to get away with it. The seasons are changing, and her children are only young. Many of the people working in the palace have waved it off as the nerves of a first-time mother.

Hasna panics at the idea of being somewhere she can be ripped from.

It had been years since Hasna had been ripped from her mother's arms in the village she can no longer remember the name of. But that one night being ripped from the carriage, the last images being her guards and Beyza laying dead on the road, had brought back every bad thing she had seen.

"Soon, Sultanim, hopefully. I have been very careful with coming and going with the seasons changing. I do not wish for so much wind and air to affect Osman and Cennet."

Hatice studies her friend, but only nods, "alright. You'll come soon, though."

Hasna nods, eager to steer the conversation away from it. "Of course, Sultanim."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

But Hatice doesn't let it go.

That evening, before returning home with Ibrahim, Hatice stops by Gulfem's rooms.

Her friend rises to greet her, but Hatice waves her off. "Do not worry, Gulfem-m. I am in your rooms in the evening hours."

Gulfem smiles, returning to her divan. "Is everything alright, Sultanim? I thought you would be on the road with Ibrahim Pasha."

"Soon, but I wanted to ask you about Hasna."

Now Gulfem looks a little guilty. "Of course, Sultanim."

Hatice carries on, not noticing it immediately. "She seems pale, paler than usual. Has she been well, going in the gardens at all? She looked very nervous when I invited her to come and visit my palace."

Gulfem answers hesitantly, "I am not sure, Sultanim. I have not been with her recently."

That catches Hatice's attention. "What do you mean, Gulfem? You are with her when you are not with me, aren't you?"

And finally, the truth comes out.

"I have not, I have not been with her unless we are with Valide Sultan. It has been very hard for me. Harder than I ever imagined."

Hatice's face shifts into something sympathetic, understanding. "Oh Gulfem. You have been through loss unlike any other. To know your children and lose them is something even I cannot imagine."

Gulfem sighs wetly, the tears already coming. "She has her children in her arms, and I cannot help but look at them and miss my Mahmud, and think about how it all ended. And then with her childbed fever, and the attack, I could hardly bear the idea of losing her too."

Hatice sighs, "but by doing this, you have lost her, Gulfem. Hasna is a sweet girl, and she looks to you like a daughter looks to their mother, but she feels alone, and she is not the most forgiving, as we both know. I can see it. If you do not go before her, and soon, the relationship you once had will be gone for good."

Gulfem nods, wiping at her tears, "I will, Sultanim. I do not want to lose her."

Hatice rises, satisfied with her investigation. "Good, Gulfem. I will return in a few days."

Gulfem swallows but does not argue. Hasna has always forgiven her, but this time, even she has been able to spot the anger and disappointment. Who knows what awaits her this time?

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Sleep eludes the Sultan of the Ottoman empire that night. He lays awake long after he has dismissed Ibrahim home with his sister.

Hurrem had left him thinking.

In little over a year, and Suleiman is certain of that, if only thanks to the fact that Hasna had entered his life at the same time, the murderer had struck twice. The first, Ayse, had been one of his favorites, and it had gotten rid of Hurrem, for a time.

The second had been a more direct attack.

Could the murderer really be after Hurrem specifically?

And if it really is Mahidevran's doing, why does she only focus on her? Why not on Hasna as well?

Then again, Suleiman wouldn't much like to be up against Nefise or Elif either. Both women are fiercely protective of their young sultana, her children even more so.

From the little Ibrahim had told him when Hasna first began walking the golden road, Hasna had somehow managed to fall in with the two deadliest women in his harem. Nefise, who had grown up around poisons and is not afraid to make someone regret their decisions, and Elif, who had once made a harem girl cry just by glaring at her.

Two women who love his bulbul equally as much as he does.

(They love her more. They will always love her more. But that is a problem for another time.)

Chapter Text

Hasna gets a late start the next morning. Her sleep had been interrupted frequently by nightmares of the murderer coming for her and her children. Nefise and Elif rise with the twins, but for the first time in a while, Hasna remains in bed.

It is because of this that by the time she is ready to go and greet Valide Sultan with the twins as she does every morning, Valide has already made her way to the gardens.

And now Hasna is stuck.

Everything in her body is telling her to stay inside, that she can send Osman and Cennet with Nefise and Elif, but she knows better.

Hasna knows that she can't not go. That if she sends her children alone, it will not only be a concern, it could be taken as an insult.

And the last thing she would ever want to do is insult Valide Sultan.

So, Hasna puts on her white veil to compliment her deep blue gown, fixes it with a beautiful floral band, and forces herself to walk out of the harem. As usual, anyone who is in the harem bows as she and her two children walk through, with Hasna forcing a cheerful "good morning," as she passes.

No one will see her fear, not in this pit of vipers and lions.

She will be a dragon.

Still, Hasna hesitates at the doorway of the palace that will lead her to where Valide is settled in for the day.

"Sultanim," Nefise says quietly, "it is only a little walk away. There are many guards here, and no one would dare to try and harm you while you are with Valide Sultan, especially not after the revolt. You will be alright."

Hasna swallows harshly, but nods and pastes on the soft pretty smile everyone always compliments her on, "let us go then. The faster we get outside, the faster we can be back inside."

And so, with much trepidation, and the perfect amount of distraction, Hasna approaches the tent under which Valide Sultan takes her respite. As she approaches, Hasna bows, first to Valide, and then to Mahidevran. "Validem, Sultanim. Good morning."

Valide beams, though it is mostly at the sight of her twin grandchildren. "Come sit, Hasna. Bring me my Osman and Cennet."

So Hasna takes the pillow closest to Valide as Nefise and Elif present Osman and Cennet, respectively.

She takes Cennet first, giving her a kiss. Hasna's little sultana smiles widely, very much a fan of attention, and even grants her grandmother a laugh. "Cennet-m!" exclaims her royal grandmother, "my heavenly girl."

After a moment, Valide switches Cennet for Osman, with Cennet coming to rest comfortably in her mother's arms.

"Osman, my little lion cub," she says, bringing him up to kiss him as she had his twin. Osman, a calmer, more stoic child, is happy to receive the kiss, his little hand coming up to pat his grandmother's face, causing her to laugh and Hansa to beam in delight. She does not return her grandson to Hasna's maid, instead content to hold him while Hasna holds her daughter.

This, of course, had been what Hasna feared would happen, because now, until Valide deems it appropriate, Hasna will be stuck, out in the open where anything can happen.

Mahidevran, while never having physically harmed Hasna, has never been kind either, but cannot avoid her son coming over to see his two younger half-siblings. Hasna smiles warmly at the eldest prince.

"Good morning, Sehzadem."

Mustafa smiles, but his attention shifts to his brother and sister immediately as he takes the pillow beside her. "Good morning, Hasna Sultan. Good morning, Cennet."

The prince holds out his finger for Cennet, who immediately grabs it, eager to have something new in her hands. Mustafa laughs even as Hasna gently coaxes her daughter to let go. "Careful, Cennet-m, that is your brother's finger."

Mustafa stays and plays with the babies for a few minutes until Hurrem's arrival is announced, and with her comes Mehmed.

Now Hasna is well and truly stuck.

So she resigns herself to hyper awareness, to the discomfort of dealing with Mahidevran's glares and Hurrem's discontent, and being forced to play mediator with whomever decides to start up first.

Like always.

But then those thoughts are tossed aside with a familiar announcement.

"DESTUR! SULTAN SULEIMAN KHAN HAZLETLERI!"

All of the women except for Valide Sultan immediately rise and bow, Hasna still holding Cennet tightly in her arms.

Mustafa and Mehmed run straight for their father, who scoops up the younger of the two while pulling Mustafa in for a hug. Valide smiles at the sight, and the Sultan smiles as well. "Validem, you look happy."

The Emperor of the world approaches, scooping his second-youngest son from the arms of his mother to give him a kiss, turning to Hasna in order to do the same to Cennet.

Valide beams, "Thankfully, my lion, I am. Look, all of my family are around me. What more could I want?"

Still standing beside Hasna, who now has Osman while he holds Cennet in his arms, Suleiman's gaze flicks toward Hurrem.

"We should all have dinner here, together."

Suleiman smiles softly, not realizing, or just not caring, about the painful blow he is about to deal. "Tomorrow, Validem. Today I am going to Ibrahim Pasha's palace."

Valide looks surprised, "is that so?"

Suleiman glances to Hurrem again, who nods. "I had forgotten as I got distracted while taking care of the children. I will go and get ready."

Hasna sighs away the hurt. It is a truth she will never admit to anyone outside her loyal circle, but she is not sure she would be capable of going to Hatice, and with Suleiman, she would have to hide her worry the whole way there. Hasna is good at performing, but in front of so many and for so long?

She doesn't hide it as well as she thinks she does, though, because Valide's eyes flick to her, and, in a uniquely caring way, she gives Hasna an out. "Hasna my dear, is it not time for Osman and Cennet to go and see the physician and feed?"

Hasna's smile turns real. "Yes, Validem. I should take them so they have plenty of time to eat before their naps."

She hands Osman to Elif, and accepts Cennet back from Suleiman, bowing as she does. "Hun-Kharim. Please send my regards to Hatice Sultan."

And then she is moving, gone before either he or Hurrem can try and pity her enough to invite her as an afterthought.

Hasna is smart enough to let the sting of being less important fade by the time she returns to her rooms. The exhaustion of simply pretending everything is fine wins out above all, and while it is true that it is time for Osman and Cennet to eat soon, Hasna allows Asli to feed both in order to take a short nap.

Both of her maids share a look but say nothing as they task Hanfie with helping Hasna loosen the ties at the back of her gown. She had had it pulled tight so that the constricting sensation would pull her attention away from some of her panic, but now, she just wants it off entirely. 

She is awoken only an hour later when Gulfem requests to speak to her.

Hasna finds she doesn't actually want to speak to her pseudo mother, but Nefise hurriedly tightens her back into her dress before sitting on her divan and Hanife allows Gulfem entry.

For the first time, Hasna does not rise to greet her former mistress. She is a sultana, a mother to two members of the dynasty, and while Gulfem is Suleiman's first woman, Hasna is so bitterly angry at the woman she had trusted most, that she does not bother to play the game.

"Gulfem Hatun, you requested to speak to me."

The title feels like a sour lemon rolling off of her tongue, the disappointment clear as day. There is no room to navigate around the pain of abandonment which Hasna has endured since the attack and even before that.

Gulfem nods, glancing at Nefise and Hanife. Hasna sighs slightly but sends them both away with a gesture. They don't go far, however, joining Elif in the nursery.

"What is it, Gulfem Hatun?"

Gulfem swallows. She has known since she first took that little girl from her masters all those years ago in Manisa that while one could describe her as water, cool and calm, they forget that water is also an angry master that can rip a person away, leave them forgotten, trapped in its mercy, to suffer for all eternity.

Hasna is like water, but it is not the calm and cool woman that sits before her, not now.

Now it is the ocean, who has never been very forgiving.

"I am sorry, Hasna, for not being here for you."

Hasna sighs through her nose. "You were under no obligation to do so, Gulfem. You are a member of the Padisah's harem, just as I. You serve the dynasty, and you have done your duty to Hatice Sultan well."

There it is, that reminder that Hasna is very much in the same position Gulfem had once found herself in, that when Hasna had needed her most, Gulfem had simply stepped away.

Hasna knows, in her mind, why Gulfem did what she did. Hasna had only been in her life after the death of Mahmud and Raziye, but child loss is the worst thing imaginable.

But Hasna had always felt like Gulfem would always be the closest thing she would have to a mother ever again, and this one had seemingly voluntarily abandoned her.

So yes, Hasna knows that in her mind, she should be able to forgive Gulfem with ease, that she doesn't blame the older woman for her absence in the face of young children that stand as a constant reminder of what she lost, but in her heart, Hasna feels abandoned, alone, and that is not something she will be able to let go of so easily.

Gulfem takes a hesitant step forward, "it is not my duty as a member of Hun-Kharim's harem, but it is my duty to you, the very reason you are in this situation in the first place. I am the reason you ever entered the harem, and I am the one who left you alone when I promised I would always keep you with me."

Hasna smiles bitterly, "you are the reason I am in the harem, Gulfem, and for that I must thank you because it has given me my children, Nefise, and Elif, even if it has left me surrounded by pain and loneliness in all other aspects."

Gulfem is feeling brave enough to actually sit on the divan beside Hasna, though she leaves space between them, knowing Hasna hates feeling trapped. "I am sorry, Hasna. For a very long time in my life, you were the only good thing about it. Then, watching you hold your children, it was as though the worst parts of my life were forced into my mind constantly, over and over. And each time, first with the childbed fever and then after the attack, I wanted to be there to help you, to take care of Osman and Cennet for you, and I tried, but it felt like I was waiting for another child of mine to die."

Hasna swallows harshly but does not speak. Her eyes have welled with unshed tears, as finally, the reason she has been left alone is spoken aloud for the first time.

Gulfem continues, "I couldn't watch you die, and I couldn't watch you get the comfort I had so desperately needed when I lost Mahmud and Raziye. He was grieving too, but I was alone, and in trying to protect myself, I left you alone too, and I am so sorry Katerina."

Hasna finally breaks, the tears flowing freely as she flings herself into Gulfem's arms. For all that she is a mother, for all that she has endured, Hasna is still 17, and Gulfem is her mother in everything but blood. Gulfem pulls the youngest sultana to her chest and holds her tightly. "I am so sorry my sweet songbird. It was never my intention to hurt you. Not ever."

Hasna sniffles, "you can't do this again. I won't, I won't survive it. If you leave me again I won't take you back."

Gulfem nods even though Hasna has her head tucked against her chest. "I won't, I promise."

Gulfem sits holding Hasna against her for a few minutes before the newest sultana's breath evens out. Slowly, so as not to wake her, Gulfem lowers Hasna's head to rest in her lap, allowing Gulfem to sit more comfortably. She cards her fingers through the formerly Russian slave girl's hair gently, humming a tune softly as she does.

It is the longest Hasna sleeps in weeks.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Hasna's luck could be made into a play the European rulers like to put on in their courts. One day after Gulfem returns to her life, just when Hasna convinces herself that Suleiman not inviting her to meet Senor Gritti and his sister is simply because he wants Hurrem to settle down after the murder, everything flips on its head again.

She has been invited (ordered) to attend breakfast with Mahidevran and Hatice Sultan, likely as a way to signal to the harem that Hurrem is the problem, or that Mahidevran is not behind this.

Hasna believes that. She believes Mahidevran is a stubborn fool, but she also believes that she is no idiot. She would not try so close to her previous attempt, and not when the whole palace would suspect her.

Not when Suleiman does suspect her.

Hasna is happy to see Hatice though, so she doesn't get too anxious about parting with her children.

Except that it turns out Hurrem is invited, just delayed in readying herself. She arrives in a beautiful green and white gon and bows as she approaches. "Good morning."

Valide is in a decently good mood so she smiles at the red sultana, "to you too. Come closer," she says, waving Hurrem up the steps.

She does as ordered, stopping before the table where Mahidevran sits on the right and Hasna sits on the left, just a little bit angled from Hatice's feet.

"Has something happened, Valide-m? You summoned me."

Valide smiles genially, "We are going to the Marble Palace, Hatice, Mahidevran and Hasna as well. Come with us."

Hurrem dips her head, "I am not feeling well, my Valide."

This catches both Hatice and Hasna's attention, the former having been with Hurrem yesterday and the latter knowing her friend is not one to feign illness when she has a chance to win favor with Suleiman's family.

Hatice tilts her head to the side to study her friend. "What is wrong?"

"I am feeling sick and faint, and my head is spinning."

Hasna knows what this is.

She knows.

Valide meanwhile, looks concerned. "You should have the physicians take a look."

Hurrem can't hide her small smile, confirming Hasna's suspicions. "They have my Valide." Then she glances toward Hasna and for a moment, just a moment, seems to hesitate to say anything. But she does. "They said I am pregnant."

Hasna thinks she must have blacked out. She can hardly remember what happens next. She must say congratulations, because Valide smiles down at her genuinely, which means it has been believable.

Hasna could not tell a single person what happened while they were at the Marble Palace.

She can tell someone exactly what happens when she returns, however, only because she actually does faint this time, faced with the fact that Sadika had tried to kill Suleiman.

Luckily, she is alone in her rooms with only her maids and Gulfem when this news is revealed to her, so no one can claim her overdramatic.

It has been a drama-worthy few days.

Drama-worthy few years.

Hasna is so tired.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Something is wrong with Hurrem.

Hasna's not sure what exactly, but ever since finding out she was pregnant again, the Ruthenian Sultana has been behaving as though the world is going to come crashing down around her. It is completely different then her reaction throughout any of her three previous pregnancies. Even with Selim coming after Mihrimah, Hurrem had been positive and sure of his gender. 

This time, she seems stressed and surrounded by a constant cloud of gloom.

Even with Suleiman's gift of a horse, a beautiful black beast she had named Ask, Love, her melancholy had been a near constant flux.

Hearing that her friend had gotten rid of Nigar Kalfa in a fit of rage almost draws Hasna in.

Instead, she turns to Emine Kalfa to bring Nigar into the fold, at least in some capacity. The head kalfa of the harem has been burned and already had been behaving oddly even before Hurrem had cut her out. Hasna wanted to have some semblance of control, and if it means bringing Nigar into the fold, that is fine.

It also soothes Emine somewhat. Nigar is her friend but also now senior to her. Emine had been running around covering Nigar while she had been caught between Mahidevran and Hurrem. Now that neither wants anything to do with her, this will lighten the load.

Then, Sadika tries to kill Suleiman on a Saturday. Hasna doesn't see him after. In fact, the first day Hasna sees him following everything that has happened is that Tuesday night.

She brings the twins with her, because he has not told her otherwise. It seems to be the distraction that he needs, their children developing their personalities and both loving the attention from their Baba. They take turns holding each twin and when it is time for them to go to bed, Suleiman orders her to remain behind.

There's a sense of relief, of normalcy, that night, that has been missing for a while.

He keeps her Wednesday.

They do not leave his chambers.

She returns to her children Thursday morning, but then, two hours before the sun sets, Emine is eagerly knocking on her door.

She bows, "Sultanim."

Hasna smiles, "is everything alright, Emine Kalfa? Have I been summoned by Valide Sultan?"

Emine shakes her head with a smile, "you have been summoned to walk the golden road tonight, Sultanim. Hurrem Sultan's pregnancy prevents her from doing so."

Hasna is bewildered. This is the first time since Hurrem was banished that Suleiman has called for her on a Thursday.

She is also giddy.

While she does see Hurrem as a friend, Thursday is a holy night. If the dreams Suleiman has are to come true, it is likely that this Thursday will be the night it happens.

Hasna, who is not one to typically make a show of things, decides that tonight she will do just that. Hurrem is the first favorite, the mother of princes, but Hasna is not nothing.

She matters.

And so, marked by the first real change in over a year, the whole harem is summoned by the familiar yet out of place announcement coming from Sumbul Aga that evening.

"Destur! Hasna Sultan!"

She swans by, a serene smile on her face, momentarily stopping to acknowledge the girls, her only goal complete. 

"Have a good evening, girls."

The whole harem returns the pleasantry, and rises in time to see her dress, a muted red, a color she almost never wears, and her tulip, the focal point of her outfit, as she does.

When the doors close behind her, Hasna bows, "Hun-Kharim."

Suleiman lifts her from her bow. "My Bulbul. I missed you."

He had seen her only hours ago, but Hasna understands exactly what he means. "And I, you. I am so happy to be here in your arms."

Suleiman leans in and kisses her passionately, and Hasna doesn't have time to think about much at all.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

For two months, this is the way of things. Hasna glows with every trip down the golden road. When she is not with the Sultan, she is with her children, Gulfem, Hatice, or even Hurrem. It is as though the reclamation of Thursdays, even temporarily, is finally what settles Hasna into being a capable woman in the harem, no longer a girl forced into her position.

Despite all of her joy, it still takes two months for Hasna to realize she is pregnant.

In the chaos that unfolds from Hatice and Hurrem falling out, which Hasna is forced to pick up the pieces in the form of listening to both women rant about the other, of Hurrem accusing Valide Sultan of murder, and Suleiman's intention to go to war with King Louis once again, things in the palace shift in a direction nearly impossible for Hasna to predict and handle.

Hasna has also been spending a great deal of time in the company of Suleiman, just like she had when Hurrem was banished. It had taken a little over a month for Hasna to fall pregnant the first time, so when that marker passes, Hasna sort of forgets to worry about it.

So she doesn't notice.

It's Elif this time, who clocks that something has changed first. Hasna has always liked her gowns tight, the physical tightness a grounding sensation for the young sultana. Except that for the last three weeks she's been sensitive in her chest and in general that she starts to wear them looser. Hasna ignores it, considering that it likely has something to do with the twins teething and growing.

Elif isn't going to let it be ignored this time though. "Sultanim, can I ask you a question?"

Hasna smiles up at her friend from where she sits on the floor beside her children. "Of course, Elif. Is everything alright?"

Elif nods, "yes sultanim. I just, forgive me if you find this inappropriate, but I must ask, do you know when your last bleeding was?"

Hasna freezes. No, she doesn't. She has no idea when the last time she bled was.

It couldn't be.

Could it?

"Elif, go and get Fatma, quietly. Do not let anyone see either of you."

Hasna sits silently while Elif goes to do as told. Hanife is in the other room with the twins, leaving only Nefise with her mistress.

"Is it possible," she whispers quietly.

Nefise smiles softly. "I think so. You have been with Hun-Kharim more in the last three months than you have in a while. Perhaps that is all that was needed."

Hasna swallows, glancing down toward her non-existent stomach. She hadn't noticed. When it was the most important thing in the harem, in Hasna's life, she hadn't noticed. How?

Hasna shakes her head. She cannot think like this until it is confirmed.

Luckily, Elif returns with Fatma only a few moments later. The head physician goes through the inspection, and within a few moments, Hasna's anticipatory nerves shift into unabashed delight.

"You are pregnant again, Sultanim. In the second month, and likely only one baby. Congratulations."

Nefise places the bag of gold coins into Fatma's hands as Hasna smiles. "I am going to have another baby."

Finally.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

It is a Tuesday, so Hasna initially elects to wait to tell Suleiman until they are all together that evening. Since he had started calling for Hasna on Thursday nights, Tuesday had become strictly nights the couple spent as a family with the twins.

Hasna will tell him in the presence of their twins, who turned 1 two weeks after Hurrem had first announced her pregnancy. Now 13 months old, her twins occupy nearly all of Hasna's time. For whatever reason, Osman has decided to start walking, which is wonderful, but Cennet is still crawling, which means Osman will only walk when not with his twin, which is hardly ever. Cennet, on the other hand, is 'speaking' significantly more than her brother, who is content to let his sister babble at him for hours on end.

Which is good, because it is not something that is ever going to stop. Hasna has seen the way little Mihrimah talks to Mehmed, or really anyone who will, or is required to, listen. She has a lot to say.

Except that Hasna tries to sit and wait patiently for the time to arrive, and lasts all of thirty minutes. "I need to go and see Hun-Kharim. I want to tell him."

Nefise and Elif share knowing smiles. As if Hasna would ever be able to wait that long. So, Hanife goes to find Habil Agha so that he can alert the Sultan that Hasna wishes to see him.

Habil returns in moments, looking a little windswept. "The Sultan says that you should come now, and that he will send for the Sehzade and Sultana when he is ready."

Hasna grins, and rises. "Then we must make haste, Habil Agha. No one should ever keep the Sultan waiting."

So Hasna hurries to the royal chambers, where her lover awaits. The Aghas at the door knock, but do not step in to announce her, knowing that she had been coming. Hasna simply crosses the threshold into Suleiman's rooms, where is waiting for her. Hasna bows deeply, "Hun-Kharim."

Suleiman smiles, lifting Hasna from her bow. "My beautiful bulbul. I was to see you this evening. What is so urgent that poor Habil Agha looked like he was being chased into the room."

Hasna smiles, "I am too excited to wait, Hun-Kharim. I had to tell you right away."

Taking her hand, Suleiman starts rubbing circles, "tell me what?"

Hasna's smile turns into a beam, taking over her whole face, "Suleiman, I am pregnant. We are going to have another baby."

Suleiman's face breaks into a wide smile, and he picks Hasna up in a hug, pulling her in for a kiss. "My bulbul. You have made me very happy." 

Hasna sighs contentedly. "I am so happy, Suleiman. Our family is growing at last."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

The next morning, Hasna rises from Suleiman's arms, helps him get ready for the day, and then goes to dress and see her children before going before Valide Sultan.

Given how early both Suleiman and the twins rise, Hasna is usually the first of Suleiman's women to greet Valide each morning, and this time is no different. She enters Valide Sultan's rooms, Osman in Nefise's arms and Cennet in Elif's, while Hanife tucks herself against the wall.

Hasna bows at the base of the stairs. "Good morning, Validem."

Valide Sultan smiles, "come, Hasna. Let me see my grandchildren."

So Hasna ascends as she always does, and takes the pillow closest to the Valide, while Osman and Cennet are presented to their grandmother.

"Ah! Look at my beautiful girl and handsome boy. How big you grow each day I see you."

Hasna watches as her children babble at their grandmother. "Validem, I have some news."

Looking away from her grandchildren to focus on their mother, Valide nods, "go ahead."

Hasna smiles, "Validem, I learned that I am pregnant again. They will arrive in the middle of winter, hopefully."

Valide claps delightedly, startling Osman and Cennet, who both reach for their mother. Hasna scoops up the twins, but Valide pats the seat beside her. "Sit beside me, Hasna. Congratulations! Another grandchild, what a blessing."

Turning to her loyal companion, Valide orders, "Daye, have the kitchen prepare Lokma and Sherbat. We shall welcome this child with as much blessing as we can."

Daye bows with a smile, "of course, Validem."

Turning back to Hasna, Valide relays a different set of instructions. "You will have to be very careful with your pregnancy, Hasna. You had twins the last time. The evil eye will be upon you from all around us."

Hasna nods, well aware of just who her enemies are. "I will, Validem. I promise."

That evening, right around dinner time, Hasna stands on the balcony, flanked by Elif and Nefise, just outside the main harem to watch as lokma and sherbat are passed out.

Not unlike the very first time Hasna had been pregnant, nearly two years ago. This time though, her twins are in their arms.

Emine Kalfa comes to the center of the room. "Valide Sultan is passing out Lokma and Sherbat on behalf of Hasna Sultan's pregnancy! May it be blessed and healthy."

All around the room, the various women of the harem glance up to where Hasna is. Seeing her presence on the balcony the women all bow as they answer the blessing. "Amin."

Victory truly is sweet.

Chapter Text

Hasna can confidently say that she is tired of being pregnant.

With her first pregnancy, Hasna had had to contend with stress and a near constant level of fear that had left her no room to be anything other than hyper-vigilant.

But now she has her son.

She has her son, and this child in her belly is making her sick whenever it can.

So, even though it has only been a few months since she had learned of her current pregnancy, Hasna is tired.

Her exhaustion is not helped any by the journey from Topkapi to Edirne.

Within the week of learning of Hasna's second pregnancy, Suleiman had announced his intentions to seek vengeance against King Lajos. That in and of itself is not unusual. Suleiman had been on several campaigns.

This is the first one since Hasna has become a sultana, and the first time she will give birth without him.

She is terrified.

But the month is coming before he leaves for campaign, and so all of a sudden the dynasty's women are instructed to pack, for they will spend the month out in Edirne and then, the day after Eid, Suleiman will leave for the Campaign.

Unfortunately, Hasna's worries and discontent begin with their journey to Edirne, which is, for lack of a better word, rough. Each day of travel requires a minimum of three stops so she can be sick on the side of the road, with Hanife having to leave the litter to help hold her mistress's hair back while Elif and Nefise try and distract Osman and Cennet, who grow bigger and bigger each day, from the temporary absence of their mother.

These stops, sometimes minutes, sometimes an hour, delay Hasna's carriage nearly a full day behind the rest of the dynasty, and by the time she does arrive, she is an exhausted wreck.

The twins are only babies after all, and the travel had been long enough without the delay. The extra day of bumpy travel and lack of their usual comforts had caused them both to be extremely clingy to Hasna, who is herself ill and exhausted.

She perseveres, just long enough to reach Edirne.

When her carriage does finally arrive to their new home for the next month or so, Hasna does one thing and one thing only.

"Someone please bring me Gulfem Hatun, immediately."

By the time Gulfem, who had practically run from Hatice's rooms as soon as she had been granted permission to leave, arrives, Hasna has made her way to her own rooms, and is mostly asleep in her bed. Both Elif and Nefise have brought Osman and Cennet to the attached nursery room, but Hasna can hear their cries and is unable to sleep because of their discontent.

Gulfem involuntarily coos at the soon to be 19-year-old mother as she bows, who in turn finally closes her eyes once she sees her pseudo parent. "Gulfem-m would you please stay with Osman and Cennet, just for a short while? I'll have to bring them to Valide soon, but I just need to rest."

And go an hour without feeling like her body is trying to turn itself inside out.

Luckily, just like their mother, the twins simply adore Gulfem, who also adores Hasna, and therefore only nods. "Of course, Hasna. Rest for a while. I'll have someone wake you when you're needed."

Hasna lets out a little sigh, sagging against the mountain of pillows Habil Agha had ordered to her room to suit her preferences.

"Thank you, Gulfem-m," is the last thing the young sultana utters before drifting off to the land of dreams.

Gulfem waits twenty minutes, during which both twins have been changed into fresh outfits and calmed down before ordering Hanife and Elif to bring the twins with her. They had napped in the carriage, and would be restless for a while before they could go down again.

Elif, of course, does not just take her charges from their mother's chambers without explanation. "Where will we be bringing them, Gulfem Hatun?"

"We'll go and present the Sehzade and Sultana to Valide Sultan, Elif. Hasna needs her rest, this pregnancy is clearly harder on her then the last. Valide will understand, and be fine so long as she gets to see her grandchildren."

Elif nods, but glances back toward her mistress for a moment. "Gulfem Hatun, it is Tuesday. She'll be upset if she misses her night."

Gulfem doesn't hesitate. "Nefise will wake her in another hour and help her ready. She needs as much rest as she can get. The Sultan was already worried about her delay. If he finds out she is still not well, he will call for the physician and might not see Hasna Sultan at all. Let us do our best to prevent that from happening."

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Indeed, Valide Sultan cares little for the lack of Hasna in the face of her adorable twin grandchildren. Osman and Cennet have grown immensely, their personalities shining brightly as they do. One thing both children have in common, though, is their adoration of their family, something Hasna had carefully reflected in front of them.

Even if, in the last few weeks or so, Valide and Hatice had become more difficult.

Hasna would never let anyone know her true feelings on the women of the dynasty, or anything else for that matter. She is always at risk, will always be at risk, and there is no way she will risk her position or her children for a simple rise out of the women of the dynasty.

Not now. Not when there are to many other moving pieces so far outside the realm of her control.

"Where is Hasna, Gulfem?"

Gulfem smiles genially to hide her nerves, "she is resting, Validem. Fatma Hatun," the physician that had been brought with the harem given that two of the women traveling are pregnant, "recommended she lay down for a little while in order to be better later in the evening."

Valide nods, her attention shifting as Hatice enters her mother's temporary chambers. She greets her mother with a smile before her attention shifts to her niece and nephew. "My Osman and Cennet! I have missed you both!" And she comes and takes Cennet out of Gulfem's arms so she can smack kisses all over her little cherubic cheeks.

Glancing around quickly, Hatice notes, "oh good, she is resting. Gulfem you'll help Hasna while we're here, won't you? I think this pregnancy is harder on her than the last."

It is one-hundred times worse, but Elif, who has faded into the background like she was taught, bites her tongue.

Hasna may have her son, but so long as Mahidevran and Hurrem make moves for their children that could secure them the throne, Hasna remains unsafe.

Her children remain unsafe, for there is no such thing as peace in the palace.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

When Hasna awakens an hour later, the twins are back in their cradles, and Nefise is laying out a gown for her to wear that evening. She blinks blearily, trying to wipe sleep from her eyes as she rises. "I want to go to the hamam first. I feel as though I am covered in grime."

Nefise nods, "of course, Sultanim. We have time before the end of the fast and you are to join the Sultan at his table."

And Hasna only takes a moment to feel guilty for having her maids in the steamy room while they are fasting before shaking herself. In the same way that her duty is to please the Sultan, which requires looking her best, their duty is to help her do that.

And it helps.

Hasna has felt less then herself this pregnancy, her body practically attacking itself in the name of caring for the baby it carries. It is the first evening in weeks where she feels even remotely human.

Thankfully.

Suleiman suspects nothing, though he watches her their entire evening. Of the people in the room, he is the only one who had fasted, and yet he is the one concerned.

"Suleiman, you should eat," Hasna states quietly, she herself only picking at the things on her plate. She doesn't trust her stomach, not with all of the sickness the pregnancy has caused, although the Edirne air had seemingly helped to abate some of it.

"You should have rested, bulbul. You are tired."

Hasna only shakes her head, "I am not so tired that I would have rather not seen you. It is Tuesday, and on Tuesday nothing makes me happier nor makes me feel better then when I am with you."

Suleiman's piercing blue eyes trace over the barely visible bump resting under her hand. "This pregnancy has been harder on you. It makes me worried," and he cuts himself off.

Hasna knows who he is thinking of.

"I am alright, Suleiman, truly. The physician says it is possible for each pregnancy to affect me differently. With the twins I was tired constantly and always sore and aching. With this child I do not feel well, but it passes, and I am here by your side. I am alright."

Finally, the father of her children acquiesces, and begins to properly eat. Hasna makes an effort to do the same, but even by the end of the meal, her plate is still half full, and her eyes flutter with tiredness, though she tries to hide it.

Suleiman is no fool, and is the father of six children. He knows what it looks like when someone is fighting sleep. Since the twins are already comfortably asleep in the cradles in his room, he simply scoops Hasna up, placing her in his bed. "Rest, my bulbul. I shall see you in the morning."

Hasna does not protest as he lays her against a small mountain of pillows, just like she likes it. Her eyes fall closed as his hands brush through her hair.

They have the morning, and Hasna cannot worry about anything further.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

It seems that the approach of Eid brings the end of the worst of Hasna's illness, whether because of the growth of the child in her belly or the Edirne air, and she is delighted. On the second Tuesday she has Iftar with Suleiman, she feels the closest to normal she has felt in months, and it shows in the way she dresses and the smile that never seems to leave her face.

The young sultana is wearing one of her new gowns in her favorite color, and looks the image of a rose, her bright cheeks and pink lips only adding to her appearance, accompanied by a floral band on her head.

It is finally enough to truly soothe the Sultan, who has always loved her smile, and is even more at ease when Hasna feels well enough to sing, which has not always been the case
It is finally enough to truly soothe the Sultan, who has always loved her smile, and is even more at ease when Hasna feels well enough to sing, which has not always been the case. When she finishes her song, Suleiman smiles widely, causing his face to stretch, giving Cennet just enough opportunity to make a grab for her father's beard.

Swooping in, Hasna sticks her finger into Cennet's hand, allowing her to pull on something else. "Careful, Cennet-m. We must be gentle with those around us," the mother lightly corrects the baby who likely does not fathom nor care.

Suleiman smiles again, and leans down to kiss Hasna gently, before spontaneously reciting her poem, revealing a second verse.

"In the moon's embrace, you serenade the night, my nightingale,

Your song, a gentle lullaby that dances through the dark,

With every breath, you weave a tapestry of love,

Binding our hearts in a symphony of whispered dreams.

Your voice, a beacon in the twilight's tender veil,

Guides me through the shadows, where my fears depart,

In your melody, I find solace and resolve,

As your harmonies cradle my restless heart."

Hasna flushes oh so prettily, "Suleiman, you've written more verses."

The Sultan nods, "for you I would write a thousand verses. Whatever it takes to bring a smile to your face."

It is a lie of course. A bold one at that.

In the nearly two years together, Hasna has only these two verses attributed to her from Suleiman.

But she does not push back on it. Not tonight. Not when things are finally going her way.

And besides, when he leans in and steals another kiss, there are suddenly other, far more important things on her mind.

After all, pregnancy does not mean that Hasna can't enjoy her lover's one on one attention on the rare occasion she is allowed to have it.

These little lies are nothing, not in the face of her larger happiness.

It is another lie, but one she tells herself.

For now, it is enough.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

Finally, the day Hasna has been dreading arrives. It is the last day of the holy month, and the last evening meal before Suleiman will leave for an unknown time.

Part of Hasna hopes it will be quick. Part of her knows that it is not so simple.

Still, as she has been trained, these things are not for her to worry about. She is a slave, if still a sultana because of the children she has borne. Valide Sultan and Hatice Sultan are both worried, and Hasna cannot add to them by making them worry about the baby in her belly.

For she is never their priority.

But at the final evening meal, as has become tradition, Hasna takes her seat between Hatice and Gulfem, with Hurrem on the other side. Once Mahidevran eventually arrives, she will take the seat across from Valide, and Mustafa will fill in between the constantly warring women. It is actually perhaps against the rankings of these things. As the second Sultana, Hurrem has the right to sit beside Hatice, but the opportunity to ruin Mahidevran's night, even while she is nearly due to have her child, is not something Hurrem will give up.

And while Hasna is not a priority, her humble and softer personality is more favored by the dynasty, especially in the face of the two other mothers who both burn so brightly.

So dangerously.

Mahidevran has been curtailed with Hurrem's growing popularity, but Hasna is no fool; Mustafa is the eldest son. The idea that Suleiman would choose Hurrem's boys or Osman over him is a far off dream. Hasna's prayers have focused on Suleiman living a long life, on her dying before he does, so that she will not see her son's death.

But it hardly matters, when the dynasty is in control.

"Thank goodness," sighs Valide as the plates Gul Agha has ordered are placed down in front of them. "We are finishing. This is our last dinner. May all the men who help to fight our war be blessed."

Hatice bows her head and immediately answers "Amen," her mind undoubtedly on the absent Ibrahim Pasha, who remains on the frontlines of the campaign, preparing for Suleiman's imminent arrival.

Meanwhile Gul Agha seems to greatly desire making a return to Topkapi Palace, and astutely determined that the best way to do that would be through Hurrem. Mahidevran had no need for an Agha, and Hasna held Habil's loyalty.

"My sultana, I heard you love quail meat. I had them hunted especially for you."

Unfortunately for Hasna, most meats make her sick, and so she is happy when Hurrem pulls the plate toward her. Gulfem watches Hasna though, "the smells are still making you sick?"

Hasna nods almost imperceptibly. "Only a little. It is passing. Finally."

"Gul Agha," inquires Valide Sultan, "have the dinner tents been installed outside of the palace for our subjects? I hope nothing is missing."

Gul Agha bows his head, "Don't worry Valide Sultanim, I have taken care of everything."

Just then, the familiar announcement echoes throughout the chamber. "Destur! Sultan Suleiman Khan, Hazletleri!"

Hasna rises, her belly not yet in the way of her ability to go up and down. Esma, Hurrem's maid, hurries to help her mistress rise, and all of the women around the table bow as Suleiman enters.

Accompanied by Mahidevran and Mustafa.

There is no such thing as peace in the palace.

Hasna swallows her annoyance. She is pregnant, Hurrem is very pregnant, and they both have their assigned nights. As the Sultanas are the only women actually in Edirne from the harem, Mahidevran is the only one who can actually entertain the Sultan in bed.

Of course, Mustafa's presence indicates that nothing of that nature happened, so Hasna is happy to wipe her hands of the matter.

Hurrem's own frown is exactly what Mahidevran was looking for though.

Hasna also tunes out Hurrem's little speech. She is always one to secure her relationship with Suleiman in front of the others, as if her fourth pregnancy isn't obvious enough. She comes back to the conversation as Suleiman gives his blessing.

"May the path be open and the swords of the mighty men of the Ottoman Empire be sharp. May they be blessed to rejoin with their loved ones in victory."

He looks at Hurrem as he says it, so Hasna bows her head, and answers the standard. There is no point in wasting emotions when Suleiman is leaving for war.

She tunes out again, Hurrem and Mahidevran throwing jabs at one another per usual. Instead, she turns her focus to Osman, who is cradled in her lap, and Cennet, who rests in Gulfem's arms. Truthfully, Hasna would have liked if the babies were in their cradles in her rooms, it is time for them to be asleep for the night, but it is Suleiman's last night, and he had wanted to see them.

And she is to obey all orders.

It is only when Hurrem begins her labor that Hasna actually begins to pay attention to what is happening at the meal, the out of body sensation she's been experiencing popping like a bubble when her screams of pain set the twins off. Hasna hurriedly rises from her seat, Nefise approaches to take Osman while Elif takes Cennet. "Excuse me, Hun-Kharim, Validem. I should bring the children to the room to rest for the night."

Suleiman studies his youngest woman before nodding. "Bring them here."

So Hasna's loyal maids approach the Sultan who places a kiss on each child's forehead. "Be good for your mother while I am gone."

Hasna knows that means he won't come to see her before he leaves. Despite her slight bump, Hasna kneels down and kisses the edge of his robes. "I wish you a great victory, Hun-Kharim, one that brings you back to us quickly and joyfully."

Suleiman bows his head slightly. "Amen." Then he pulls Hasna up and kisses her forehead lightly. "Take care of the child in you. I will see them on my return."

Hasna can only nod to avoid her tears, and then she takes her leave.

Just a few hours later, A solemn Emine Kalfa appears to summon Hasna for the naming ceremony. It is late into the night at this point, and Eid has officially started, which means that Hurrem's son has been born on an incredibly important day.

Of course.

So Hasna quickly pins a veil with Nefise's help and sets off for Hurrem's temporary chambers. She is the last to arrive by nature of the fact that she had retired with her children well before Hurrem's labor had progressed. She is likely the only one who got any semblance of respite, if not peace.

There is no such thing as peace in the palace, her mind quietly supplies.

"I'll name him the name of my grandfather," Suleiman informs the gathered women before he performs the adhan. "I name you Bayezid, I name you Bayezid, I name you Bayezid."

Hurrem sits on her bed smirking joyfully, her victory undoubtedly secure.

After all, she is a mother of three boys now.

And Valide seems to acknowledge this too, when, the very next morning, Hasna, alongside Mahidevran and Hatice, are summoned to see the new prince and Hurrem.

Hurrem bows to the Valide as the women enter. "Validem, forgive me. I couldn't come to kiss your hands and get your blessings on this Eid day."

Valide tilts her head with a soft smile while Hasna's attention remains fixed on a spot on the cradle, not on the baby himself or on the floor to indicate she is upset.

"Can there be a more blessed day than this one, Hurrem? You have given us a healthy prince once more."

Hasna automatically nods her head as Hurrem hurriedly kneels and kisses Valide's robes while she holds her hand out for a gift for Suleiman's true favorite. When Hurrem rises, Valide places a beautiful diamond flower bracelet on the redhead's wrist. Hurrem is overcome. "Thank you, Validem. May you be granted a long life and always be kept with us."

Hasna's ears ring as she answers with an "amen," while Hurrem greets the other women of the harem for Eid.

"Happy Eid," Hasna responds in kind when Hurrem offers her the pleasantries, but the redhead has already returned to her child's side. Hasna doesn't make a face at the disrespect, instead quietly waiting a few minutes before it is appropriate for her to have her children brought to her. The women all move to the main area for the meal, and while Gul Agha lays his charm on thick, Hasna and Gulfem entertain the two young twins.

"Hasna," Valide states, "when we return to Topkapi, it will be time for you to stop picking Osman and Cennet up. It will be better for the baby you carry in you."

Hasna swallows at the order. She had known it was coming, as her pregnancy progressed. Hasna is likely carrying only one baby, but her body is still not capable of constantly picking up two growing children.

Still, it hurts her heart.

"Yes, Validem. I will be very careful."

Just as she has always been.

There is no such thing as peace in the palace.

When they return to Topkapi in July, Hasna is invisible in the face of Hurrem's success, despite her ever growing belly.

To the women of the harem, Hasna has only Osman. Osman who is not the eldest nor the most favored, not like Mustafa and Mehmed. Her sweet boy whose fate can only end in a bloody, cruel, death at the hands of one of his brothers.

Because that is the true meaning of being a mother to a son in Topkapi. There is no peace, not when bloodshed is their destiny.

Their dynasty.

As they walk the balcony outside of the main harem, Hasna's shoulders straighten as the decision she has been battling with since the discovery of her new pregnancy finally settles into her bones.

There will be no peace in the palace, and so Hasna will be ready for war.