Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nights like these it’s best not to be alone. When the city lights are so bright you can’t see the stars but not bright enough to smother the dark of the night sky, making it far too empty. When your mind has time to wander through those hollow alleyways or muddle in the shadow of the streetlights. All is quiet on the south side of Star City. Roy is hunched over on a rooftop, the only thing keeping him from dozing off at this point is the rumble of stray passing cars. He watches the red gleam of their tail lights trail off down the barren streets and dip around corners. Why Oliver couldn’t do this on his own is beyond Arsenal. He has all of the arrowheads scattered across the city. Watching and waiting. And waiting. Aaand waiting… 

Children all over Star City have been falling ill with seemingly random bouts of nausea and dizziness, an all too familiar sign that Count Vertigo is planning something big. Only difference is this time there doesn’t seem to be an epicenter. If that wasn’t bad enough, the city is plagued by Brick’s henchmen causing general unrest for the past two months. 

At least, that’s what Oliver told him. He’s been here almost two weeks and hasn’t seen a damn thing. Roy swears he’s never seen Star City so quiet. Although, you know what they say: calm before the storm or something like that… Roy sighs heavily, letting the muggy air fill his lungs. The air tonight felt soupy with humidity and smog. It wasn’t making standing around any more pleasant, that’s for sure. 

He checked the time. 4:45. Fifteen minutes until his shift was up. You’d think that would be a relief, but honestly where he’s headed next doesn’t make him feel much better. 

“I’m calling it a night.” Arsenal told his communicator. 

“Go ahead.” Oliver sighed, clearly frustrated by the lack of action just as much as Roy was. 

“Night!” Arrowette chimed. 

“Goodnight!” Speedy chipped in. 

Roy didn’t say anything else, clicking off his comms for the night and looping his bow over his shoulder. 

His daughter Lian is staying in the Queen mansion, but Roy doesn’t want to stay there. Staying in his old room would just make him feel more antsy right now, so he’s staying alone in this little hotel nearby. It’s just as quiet as the rest of the city with dreary brownish grey carpet and smells like a pool he’ll never visit. Just like most nights after patrol, he’s too tired to busy himself with anything, but too wired to fall asleep. He finds himself laying awake, staring at his phone.

It’s so strange -the quiet. Not really the quiet itself, but just knowing there’s no one else around. He’d grown accustomed to the buzz of people while staying in the Titan’s headquarters, or with the Outlaws on a mission, or even in the Queen manor with Dinah scolding the girls running around causing chaos -because by god, if Black Canary is upset, you’re going to hear it. The craziest though would have to be staying at Jason’s little safehouse apartment in Gotham. Staying with Jason will really get you accustomed to never being alone, not just because of how small the place was but the fact that his flock of siblings seemed to always be breaking open their window at four in the morning or just appear in the kitchen to steal a cup of coffee or leftovers. -Not that he could blame them. Jason’s cooking is amazing. But good lord, between Tim, Cass, and Damian he swears he’s had at least fifteen heart attacks. At this rate, he’s going to need a pacemaker by the time he’s forty!

Roy smiles to himself. The bats are nuts, but he misses them. Jason especially. His eyes flick to the time displayed on his screen. He’s trying to calculate what time it would be in Gotham when a text comes through with a quiet ding. 

Roy grins. Speak of the devil.  

“ R u awake? ” Jason’s text is a bright green on the screen. 

“ Yeah ” 

“ Wtf is this? ” Jason sent a photo of what looked like a toy rubber duck made of clay, the background the unmistakable blue tile of Jason’s bathroom floor. Roy snorted a laugh. 

“ It’s C4 ” Roy typed back.

“ Why is it in my bathroom? ”

“ rubber ducky :) ” Roy giggled to himself. He could perfectly picture the grouchy look on Jason’s face right now. -And Jason’s face was picture perfect. His rugged standoffishness and vicious look in his eyes radiating a sort of vigor and danger that Roy always found himself drawn to. Like a thrill seeker to the edge. But there’s something subtle there too, he came to see it more and more the longer they had stayed together. There is a contentedness when things finally settle. When they would drag themselves back to Jason’s apartment at the end of a long patrol. Roy realizes then he’s staring at his screen. Jason didn’t send anything else, presumably tossing his phone aside after Roy’s last text. Roy feels himself buzzing in the still air of the tiny room. The silence is suffocating. Never ending. Roy wants to get up -to do something, but his body is heavy. He’s exhausted. Roy ponders throwing a video on or turning on the TV, but he can’t seem to bring himself to. Deep down he knows he doesn’t want senseless noise. Roy wants the sound of paper rustling as Jason flips another page of one of his giant boring books. He wants the sound of Jason turning on the shower in the morning. He wants the sound of Jason restlessly tidying up the scraps of trick arrows and trinkets Roy left behind on the coffee table. He wants the sound of Jason’s voice, calling him from the kitchen as he cooks over a sizzling pan. If he could just hear his voice -even for a moment… 

Roy types out, “ call me? ”, but he doesn’t send it. he stares at the words on his screen. Roy isn’t even sure what he’d say to Jason. He just desperately wants to talk to him -to hear his voice, but he can’t really say that, can he? maybe he can… Roy’s thumb hovers over the send button. can he?... 

Before Roy can decide, another text comes through. “ How’s Star City? “ Jason’s message sends relief flowing back through him. He quickly deletes his last text and smiles into the screen. 

“ Boring as hell. “ Roy types back. “ At this point I miss Gotham. ” I miss you . 

“ That bad huh? “ Jason typed back. “ Figured you’d love a break from the apartment. “

“ No way “ Roy is quick to reply. “ I love your place. Even if it is in crime central. “ 

Jason took so long to reply after that he had Roy thinking maybe their conversation had ended yet again. Roy was just starting to drown in the silence when his phone chimed once again, illuminating the screen. “ Damian misses jumpscaring you. “

“ I KNEW HE WAS DOING IT ON PURPOSE “ Roy typed back furiously, grinning ear to ear. 

This time unfortunately, their conversation really did end. Neither could think of anything else to say, if they could, they thought better of it. Roy let his screen drift to sleep. He laid in the overwhelming silence until finally he followed suit, dreaming of the sound of Jason pacing down the hall in the dead of night and the tiniest screech of the window being opened so he could hear the Gotham rain, the flick of a lighter and the faint smell of smoke.

Chapter Text

Jason stares at his phone. He’s sitting on the balcony, his back to the railing and the gothic skyscrapers jutting into the misty sky. The metal is cool against his back, the warm wind rising from the harbor. He rereads Roy’s texts.

“ I love your place ” 

Jason raises his eyes to the apartment beyond the sliding glass door. It’s dark, quiet. His eyes fall back to his phone. 

“ I love your place ”

He breathes out smoke, letting his phone screen drift to sleep, knowing he won’t anytime soon. 

Roy’s alarm going off at 2pm was jarring and unwelcomed. He pawed at it to turn it off, only to miss the noise once the room was cast back into the depths of silence. He lay there, missing the sound of the rain and fighting back sleep. He stares at the yellowing ceiling, drained, debating drifting back asleep for a few more hours. But he doesn’t. His little girl is surely up and waiting for him by now. The thought of her staring out the window waiting on him is enough to make Roy drag himself from the mediocre mattress and out the door, headed for the Queen Mansion. 

Being back in this city brings back a lot of memories. These are the streets where he became a hero. That alleyway there is where he got his first black eye. That rooftop in the distance is where he nearly fell for the first time and it scared him half to death. These are the streets where he bought drugs. His dealer used to stand and wait right over there. He thinks he catches a glimpse of one of an old friend that’s long dead by now. The memories make his stomach churn, but in a sick sort of way he misses it. The simplicity of lacing up his boots and hitting the pavement. Forever chasing his next high. Being able to take every worry in the world away with a stick of a needle or a swig from a bottle. He didn’t really have a care in the world back then. Part of him will always miss that feeling more than even the feeling of getting high. Just being able to not care anymore. About anything. Or anyone. But he doesn’t have that luxury anymore. There’s people that care about him. People that he cares about. At the end of the day he would rather be the most miserable man on the planet if it meant that his daughter could have a father. He just hopes he can be the father that she needs. 

Roy’s old pickup truck pulls up to the mansion, chuffing as it braves the gravel road it’s seen a thousand times. Lian is usually up and rushing to meet him at the door, but not today. Roy wanders through the mansion, finding her in the banquet hall. Lian, Cissie, and Mia are all gathered at the head of the table, adorned in dresses and makeshift crowns, pouring Gatorade into a china tea set with gold Kintsugi veins running through the porcelain. Oliver sits beside them, crowned and sipping out of a mug while he reads the paper.

“ Who dares approach the Royal council?” Cissie announces his arrival. 

“Hi daddy!” Lian turns to wave where she’s standing on the table in her frilly red dress.

“Hi pumpkin.” Roy waves back with a smile. 

“We shall behead this peasant who dares interrupt our royal banquet!” Mia proclaims, jabbing a finger at Roy. 

“Does King Oliver get a say in this?” Roy looks to him hopefully.

“Sorry, King Oliver has already been beheaded.” Oliver sips his coffee. 

“Hey! Heads can’t talk on their own!” Lian scolds.

“Sorry, your highness.” 

“It’s okay. I forgive you.” 

“My apologies your majesties but Princess Lian has royal business to attend to.” Roy bows.

“I do?”

“Yes, your highness! We must depart on a quest to obtain the magical lunch!”

“Gas station hot dawgs?”

“Maybe. Go get your shoes on.”

“Yay!” Lian clambers off the table. Roy follows as she races down the hall. 

“Roy!” Dinah jogs to catch up to him in the hall. “Are you sure you want to take Lian out today?” Her words are nonchalant but he can hear a twinge of something in her voice. An odd pinprick of a deeper question that he’s not sure he really wants to hear. 

“Sure do.” He confirms, trying to walk away from the conversation. 

“Do you know when Jade will be back?” Looks like they’re going to talk about it whether he wants to or not. 

“I already told you, I don’t know. Neither does she.”

“So she just left her daughter alone while she goes to-” Roy’s glare silences her, motioning discreetly to Lian, still in his arms. “Work..” 

“ No , she didn’t leave her alone. She left her with me .”

“Roy, I know you’ve come a long way but..”

“But what? You think I can’t take care of my own daughter?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I DIDN’T” She began, her voice slipping and becoming far too loud. After watching Roy and Lian both wince, Dinah took a deep breath and began again. “ sorry .. What I mean is, I don’t want you to.. be overwhelmed. ” Roy winced again, but if she noticed, she didn’t seem to care. “Lian loves it here, don’t you dear? We don’t mind looking after her for a while if need be.”

“...thank you, Dinah. I’ll keep that in mind.” Roy shut the door behind him. 

“Daddy” Lian looks up at him as he fastens her into her car seat. “Are you going to leave me like Mommy did?” Lian’s innocent stare told Roy she didn’t realize how much of a punch to the gut that question was. He tried his very best to not let it show.

“No, pumpkin. I’m not going to leave you.” He hugged his head to his shoulder and pressed a kiss to her head.

“Promise?” She stuck her pinky out. 

“I promise.” Roy hooks her pinky with his and kisses his thumb, stamping it to hers. 

“If you break your promise, I have to cut your finger off.” 

“Who taught you that?!” Roy barks a laugh. 

“Uncle Jay.” Lian beams, and Roy does all he can to quell his heart from swelling in his chest but he can’t help but smile like a fool. “I miss Uncle Jay. Will we see him again?” Lian asks and just like that Roy’s swollen heart is lurching in his chest. 

“I sure hope so. He made me a promise. I’d hate to cut his finger off.” 

That wasn’t necessarily true. Roy had all but begged Jason to promise to stick around this time, but all Jason had told him was he “won’t make promises he can’t keep”. It was as admirable as it was heart wrenching, just like everything else about Jason Todd. 

To be fair, none of them could make that promise in this line of work. All it takes is one stray bullet, one lucky hit, one bad fall… Roy had conceded to the idea early on that one of these days he would draw the short stick just like the rest of them eventually would, but it was a small price to pay when compared to making the world a safer place for his daughter. But the idea of leaving her… Roy couldn’t think about that right now. He can’t think about how she wouldn’t understand. She’d think he left her alone. She’d think everyone ends up leaving her alone.. What’s that do to a little girl? What kind of damage has it already done? 

When Cheshire finally does show back up he’s going to wring her neck for taking that fucking job…