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Chapter Text

Sweat dripped down her temple as she adjusted her posture and assessed her breathing. In- Out- In- Out. Simple. Rey reached out, connecting to the life forces around her.

Ajan Kloss, the jungle moon located in the Cademimu Sector of the outer rim. With the entirety of the Resistance relocated the once small humid rock became static. Rey could feel it all- from the pilot's feisty new ambition, to the technician's exhaustion from having to moisture proof all the electronics, even the General's intense focus.

Yet, it was her own focus Rey needed to attend to. Leia Organa- who had taken it upon herself to finish her late brother’s teachings, insisted upon Rey meditating before engaging in her morning training.

Impatience weighed over her. While meditating had never bothered her inherently, the new surroundings overwhelmed her growing powers. So many anxieties spiraled through the force and fell into her lap. The war was not ending anytime soon, and the recovery from the loss on Crait was steady yet slow.

The only advantage they had was a story of a small girl from Jakku. The Last Jedi- trained by Luke Skywalker himself. Supposedly she single handedly saved the Resistance! She was the girl everyone had heard so much about.

That was the story being spread throughout the galaxy, and Rey finally began to understand Luke’s condescending tone the time he uttered “and I became a legend.”
She felt like an imposter. Everyone expected her to be this incredible thing, when at the end of the day she was nobody. Just an accident in some cosmic game she had no place in. Luke Skywalker barely trained her a day, and during the little time he had he was snarky and pessimistic.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t going to try though. Ever since her heroism spread throughout the galaxy, support for the Resistance had risen significantly. There were a lot of people looking up to her, which was another overwhelming reality. To go from living a life where one day you could die in the desert without a soul to care, to the whole galaxy rooting for you to destroy an entire military dictatorship was suffocating to deal with on a good day.

And according to all Resistance propaganda, that's what her plan is. So there Rey sat, attempting to meditate while everyone sat on the edge of their seats anticipating her next epic battle with the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

Who she was also desperately trying not to think about. Kylo Ren- according to the First Order, killed Luke Skywalker. Making him the most feared man in the galaxy, because if you can kill the man who redeemed Darth Vader who couldn’t he kill? What planet couldn’t he rule? Where couldn't he go?

Yet the peculiar thing was ever since he took control somehow support for the First Order also began to rise. Something which perplexed the Resistance, and as support grew for both parties so did tension in the galaxy. Everyone was cheering for someone, and right in the center of it all was Rey and Kylo Ren.

But that’s not what Rey was supposed to be thinking about- no she was told to focus on breathing. In- Out- In- Out. Simple.

She attempted to meditate a little longer, but found the effort pointless. She’d sat there long enough to not be given grief by Leia which was a bigger concern to Rey than actually successfully meditating. She made her way to the start of the training course Leia had constructed for her, clocking in. The General believed the best way to track her improvement was the speed in which she completed the course.

The timer began to count down. FIVE- she cracked her knuckles. FOUR- tightened her top bun. THREE- checked her lightsaber at her belt. TWO- crouched into a running position. ONE- deep breath. GO.

Sprinting to her first obstacle, she found running through thick terrain to be enjoyable- much easier than running in sand. The humidity hit her hard as she ran deeper into the jungle, the new sensation of thick moisture in the air was still exciting.
Rey came to a halt meeting her first foe, a large pile of rocks blocking the path. Reaching out her hand and focusing she began lifting the rocks with the force. This came naturally to her- they were just rocks after all.

Not that far ahead was obstacle number two, a climbing wall. Easy enough. She scaled it quickly then jumped from it to save time, attempting to use the force to cushion the fall. “Ow” she cursed her recklessness falling onto her ankle the wrong way. It was fine- she was fine. Keep going.

Running through obstacle number three was easy, the old ships on Jakku often had much smaller ledges she had to balance on.

Next came her least favorite part, swimming. An element Leia insisted be added to the course since it was completely foreign to Rey. Despite dreading it she dived right in. She swam the cold lake with all her might, even at her best she was a poor swimmer and this part of the training always took the longest.

Exhausted, she kept on. In front of her were a dozen or so platforms that hung over a deep ravine. Sprinting she leapt to the first platform with ease. As they grew taller she began to struggle again. Running then leaping just enough to grab the edge. Below her was a net, this didn’t calm her anxiety at all and she didn’t want to have to ring Finn to fish her out- again.

Frustration built as she hoisted herself onto the platform. She readied herself to jump again but rounded back as her injured ankle from earlier began to act up. Rey tried to refocus herself- all it was was a ledge.

“If you can’t beat a ledge, how will you defeat the Supreme Leader?” she asked herself aloud. She shook her head, broke into a sprint jumping then pulled herself onto the final platform.

She began to breathe heavily laying on the ground a moment to gather herself. Why was today seeming so much more difficult than yesterday? Maybe the General was onto something with this whole proper meditation business. Annoyed, she carried on.

After a bit more of a run her final opponent- a simple circular floating combat remote. It lit up in her presence approaching her. Rey had this, she was in the home stretch. It wizzed readying to fire at her.

The young Jedi grabbed her lightsaber- a creation of her own as she still never figured out how to fix the broken legacy saber. She ignited it with a grin. Only for it to then not turn on. “Kirrf.”

The combat remote shot at her feet missing. “Come on!” she exclaimed, hitting the side of the lightsaber several times. So, maybe she hadn’t built a fully functional lightsaber yet, perhaps it needed a little work.

The droid continued to shoot at her, this time hitting her shoulder. Grabbing her wound she ducked behind a tree, the hit wasn’t fatal but still hurt significantly. She began to breathe heavily- focus completely gone. “Work!” She yelped.

Around the corner came the droid, shooting her in the side. With pure frustration boiling over Rey used the force bringing the droid to the palm of her hand and began banging it violently into the nearby tree.

It felt good. By the time the droid was caved in and sparking she felt significantly better. Grabbing some of its spilled out wiring she threw it over her shoulder. Then without haste made her way to the end of the course.

At the end of the trail sat the General on a rock with her nose in a book. “Seventeen minutes longer than yesterday,” Leia stated bluntly, closing the novel. Rey hung her head, feelings of defeat rushing her body.

“Walk with me, Rey.” She followed a few steps behind the General, walking the mossy trail distracting herself by focusing on the loud birds and hum of insects. The heavy canopy grew darker as they neared the secret base.

“What happened to the droid?”

“My lightsaber malfunctioned- had to get past it somehow.”

“By making us buy a new one? Those things aren’t cheap”

“I’m sorry, General.”

“You know Rey-'' She looked the young girl up and down “sometimes you seem so familiar to me. At times it’s a great comfort, then again at times it’s troubling.”

A pit formed in Rey’s stomach, she knew exactly what those implications meant. Words of Luke echoed through her mind “I’ve seen this raw strength only once before…”

However, Rey didn’t think the General knew that she understood her words. She hadn’t even began to try to explain the connection she had with Kylo Ren, not when she barely understood it herself. Definitely not when their force bond was still alive as ever.

For the first month or so it seemed to all but vanished, Rey believed Snokes words to be true. That he had bridged their minds. Then out of the blue one day he appeared before her again. She had been in public with Finn and Poe at the time and tried desperately to ignore it, pleading with the maker to let him disappear into the crowd.

She had been quite frightened at first, thinking he was physically there. She realized he wasn’t when he shared her similar shocked reaction. He disappeared mere moments after appearing. Over the next few weeks and months he kept appearing like a ghost, for a few seconds- then gone.

Now, recently he’d appeared for a bit longer. Yet, never more than a few minutes. They both somehow silently elected to ignore each other at first, looking miserable the entirety of the time. Sometimes they got into spats if no one else was around, ending in screaming that never brought about anything. These yelling matches usually included insults sharp as knives, most of them shot from Rey’s mouth. She found it incredibly frustrating his indifference towards them, with his ability to always come back with something smart and level headed.

Leia looked at her with deep sympathy. Rey could feel it humming in the force signature that surrounded the older woman. Rey wondered who it was for as the General wrapped an arm around her. “I’m trying, I promise I really am.” Leia nodded, rubbing Rey’s shoulder in a motherly fashion.

“You know Rey, Luke used to repeat something to me that an old master of his used to say. He’d say Do or Do Not. There is no Try.”

Maker that made no kirrfing sense. Leia seemed to be pretty pleased with this advice though. Yet, could see it hadn’t exactly reached Rey. “Take the day off kid, clearly I’ve been pushing you too hard.”

“No- General! I can do more, I’ll do the course again see-” she cut her off “Nope, you’re taking a break. You deserve it, you’ve been doing great.” Rey decided not to believe this. If she’d been doing so great why’d her course time go up seventeen minutes? Leia pulled her into a hug “And fix up that droid with your time off!”

Rey sighed “Got it, General!” Then began her trek back to her small private dorms. A privilege she had been granted as The Last Jedi.

As soon as she got to her room the emotion of the day hit her. Her failure, her confusion and lack of direction. She’d been here for months training with Leia feeling as if she'd barely improved at all.

And maker did Leia compare her to her son? That must have been the thing she was angriest about, in a fit of pure rage she threw the broken droid.

As soon as it left her hand he appeared, the droid going straight through his head. She screamed in fright, covering her mouth as to not attract attention from any one who may be around outside.

“Resorted to throwing things now, have we?” His tone mocked her.

Fury stirred within Rey “Laughable coming from the likes of you.”

“It’s my mother isn’t it? An infuriating woman, surely you agree.” He said with a tone of smugness. Rey hated how he saw through her like glass, like she was nothing. “What would you know about your mother? When was the last time you even spoke? Must have been a teenager- which makes your opinion nothing more than a petty boy’s.” She had to admit she enjoyed the curl of his frown.

Although he was right to some extent. Sure Luke had trained Leia but this was decades ago, along with that Leia had never made practical usage of the skills she gained. Leaving her Jedi advice shallow.

However Leia was an incredibly strong woman who Rey deeply admired. Where her understanding of the force lacked she made up for it in years of experience as a politician and leader.

“Shame you don’t have a real teacher-” he sighed, approaching her slowly “so much wasted potential.” He was so close now, Rey absentmindedly backed up against the wall. Ren placed his hand on the wall next to her head.

His presence made the hair on the back of her neck stand, her heart thumping rapidly. He leaned in, causing a hitch in her breath. Even through the bond she’d recognize that scent anywhere, like she was perfectly attuned to detect him. Rey was by no means short but next to Kylo Ren she felt incredibly small.

“I don’t need you,” she hissed. His dark brown eyes met hers, he smirked “You don’t?” and with that he was gone.

As he vanished before her she sunk deeper into the wall, slowly sliding down it to sit on the floor. Ever since she’d met this man darkness began creeping inside her. What was she going to do?

Chapter Text

Kylo Ren was having a good day. His most recent infrastructure bill had been passed, and his approval ratings had never been higher. While it would never be said that the galaxy loved him it seemed like they might just start respecting him.

No longer Snoke’s puppet- his servant executing the old man's every wish. In his first few months of freedom Kylo began to realize many things. For starters how much of Snoke’s leadership truly lacked, and how much of Kylo’s time he had wasted. Now it was up to the new Supreme Leader to pick up the pieces if he wanted this government to last.

Before he became the Supreme Leader all Kylo Ren was good for was being a hunting dog. Yet, his mind was capable of so much more. Kylo had always been so intelligent, this often was overshadowed by his extreme emotional state. Ren’s anxiety had began to slow as the fear of Snoke decayed alongside his corpse. As that anxiety decreased Kylo’s mood improved and his ability to lead began to strengthen.

Kylo had always disagreed with many of Snoke’s leadership choices- not all, but many. But, who was he to argue back then? Snoke claimed he was assisting Ren in his pursuit to finish what his grandfather- Darth Vader- had begun.

Although the parallels between himself and his grandfather seemed to finally be distancing. Darth Vader never achieved the status Kylo had, and he certainly never sat down to pass infrastructure bills.

Ren had been living in the shadow of Darth Vader his whole life. Everyone constantly pointing to the similarities, never giving him a chance to separate himself from who everyone already decided he would be. Now was his moment to become something greater than a man in a mask. While his grandfather wore one to survive, Kylo wore his to hide.

Hiding was no longer an option. His family tore the galaxy apart, he would put it back together. Riddled with curses his family constantly inconvenienced the systems with their poor decision making. His grandparents with their grandiose love affair, his uncle’s lame attempt to rebuild the Jedi order. His father- not worth mentioning.

The only one who ever truly became anything worth praise was his mother. He’d give her that. She was a great politician with sharp debating skills- he wish’d she’d kept that from her home and marriage when he was younger, but it benefited him now. Hux’s already strongly formed negative opinions of him were growing louder, and he needed to stifle them out. If not for the future and success of this galaxy then his own personal safety.

Hux had been targeting him from the beginning, knowing when Snoke’s time came it would be between him and Ren to see who would take charge. Kylo assuming power was not going to stop Hux now- if anything the weasley man seemed more determined than ever. Especially when their ruling philosophies differed so drastically.

To Kylo it was about using the military to enforce change and structures that would last. He believed that most of the galaxy didn’t know what was good for them, so he’d will it to his design and they’d thank him later. Hux operated more under the mindset that power equaled control forever.

Ren didn’t understand how so many high-ranking officials within his government still operated under this mindset. History showed time and time again that there will always be another revolution, therefore if this war can’t be stifled out through violence any longer it was time to pacify them enough so they’d stop rebelling.

Which brought him back to his infrastructure bill. With their new lightspeed tracking technology, outposts would be placed at every planet within the First Order’s control, essentially monitoring all movement within the galaxy. This could help them capture criminals and stop drug cartelling. It would also ensure that when the Rebellion reappeared inevitability that they would be prepared.

This new system gave the rebellion two choices in battle. Either show up a far enough distance away from the planetary tracking to not be seen- giving the First Order time to spot and overwhelm them. Or show up in huge numbers and overwhelm the First Orders fleet first, but Kylo wasn’t worried about that after Crait. Even with the rumors of The Last Jedi’s quest for his head.

Another thing that bothered him. She was not The Last Jedi- that was his Uncle Luke and now he was dead. He’d gladly let the galaxy believe he was the one who’d finish him off despite his Uncle getting one last laugh over him. No, she was no jedi, just a particularly strong force user who he still believed if trained under himself would become a work of art.

This drove him into a madness he’d never experienced before. He thought over the situation a thousand times, and while yes he’d been feeling betrayed by her rejecting him, he still wanted her close at hand. He’d made sure to tell his Knights to capture her unharmed if met in the battlefield.

Although, he was certain in his mind that she truly hated him and would never join him. Her greatness would not be achieved through resentful lessons, only on her own free will would she be able to ascend to something more. Which is probably what frustrated him the most, because he had dropped the ball. He had offered her the galaxy and it still wasn’t enough, that’s how monstrous he was that she couldn’t bring herself to join him.

He turned his head quickly to the sound of loud knocking at his office door- breaking his chain of thought. He elected to have an office over a throne room, which still existed for special occasions, but didn’t have the file storage to achieve what he was trying to pull off. But, it was a pretty intimidating office though he thought. Decorated in sleek black furniture and a chair that was entirely too large that he often found himself feeling goofy in. The chair was goofy to him yet incredibly intimidating to others- he wondered what it was about big chairs that scared people so much.

Using the force he opened the door and sank into his Supreme Leader-sona. It was a lower ranking official he’d tasked with spying on Hux’s operations. The officer looked pale, Kylo had a bad feeling about this as a nervous informant was the bringer of bad news.

The officer- Patsey, stepped into the office removing his cap and fiddling with it. The metal doors shut behind him with a clang. “Yes?” the Supreme Leader glared. Patsey gulped “The insurgents set a date.”

Ah- there it was. Not only was Kylo facing a public rebellion he was now facing traitors within his own walls. Predictable. “How long do we have?”

“Ninety-eight rotations.”

So Hux thought he could kill him in ninety-eight days? Take over his government in ninety-eight days? What was so special about ninety-eight rotations from now? He flipped open his calendar. Ah- the gala. He was to be made an example of at his own party. Was there truly enough support on Hux’s end to pull this big of an operation off? Suspicious they’d announce it so soon with so much time to get back to him, he’d have to take this into consideration.

This meant his personal project must be completed faster.

“Thank you Officer-” Kylo said with a wave “that will be all.” Patsey gave a small bow to the Supreme Leader, looking relieved he didn’t shoot the messenger and exited the office swiftly.

So much to do and such little time. Was Kylo truly making enough waves to have them already plotting his demise? Perhaps if he’d angered them so much then he was doing something correctly. Still, it would be nice to have a government that followed his command without question.

This brought his back to his grandfather- a man who was always listened to. He ruled with such fear that no one dared question his authority. This came from his extreme power. Something Kylo continued to envy.

Therefore his personal project- the Midichlorian Flower. Nearly impossible to find and even harder to personally grow, a plant Kylo had tasked himself with acquiring. Said to be yellow in the stem, blue in the petals with white swirls. Legend states that this flower has the highest Midichlorian count of any living thing, and if ingested? No, meditated on- perhaps smoked, (alright Kylo didn’t exactly know how to access its powers, at the moment that mattered less than he needed an entire meadow of them,) so he could strengthen his bond with the force and finally communicate with his grandfather and become the strongest force user the galaxy had ever seen. Then no one would dare oppose him.

His mother once told him a story about his grandfather's padawan- Ahsoka Tano. Apparently on the brink of death Anakin Skywalker came to her in a vision and trained her. Kylo wanted this- excluding the near death experience. This led to his harvesting of the Midichlorian Flower.

Searching through old archives he found evidence of them on Malachor V. He sent a squadron and his Knights to search the old Sith temples; the whole mission had been a disaster. The entire planet's gravity was unbalanced and the ships had a terrible time landing. It took three rotations to land then find the temple and another twelve to come up with any evidence of the flowers at all.

The only thing recovered was a small box of dusty seeds. Kylo was extremely disappointed when they arrived back at his base on Endor. This newly built secret base was fully equipped with an entire training facility and a lab to cultivate the flowers. He’d chosen Endor due to the strong connection his family had to the moon. It was the last celestial body Darth Vader ever walked, and unfortunately he could do the math. It was the place he had most likely been conceived on.

The current plan of action is to send his Knights to look for more evidence of this flower. For now he would head to Endor to make due with his dusty seeds.

As he turned to stand an object flew at him, before he could doge it flew right through him. There was Rey standing before him looking sweaty, agitated, disheveled.

“Resorted to throwing things now, have we?” He quipped amused with himself.

“Laughable coming from the likes of you.” she spat at him.

The energy surrounding her was familiar to him, it was humming off of her loudly. Perhaps it spoke to him because it had once been his. “It’s my mother isn’t it? An infuriating woman, surely you agree.”

Rey did not seem to appreciate this comment. Her brows furrowed and she silently huffed to herself. She bounced back quickly though, placing a hand on her hip, sticking her nose up and shooting back “What would you know about your mother? When was the last time you even spoke? Must have been a teenager- which makes your opinion nothing more than a petty boy’s.”

She’d killed his smugness for a moment. Perhaps she had a point, true he had not seen her in years but it was nice to see the old woman still had the effect on people she had in his youth. He thought back to his earlier dialogue with himself, of her potential.

He reminded himself to let the past die and moved on to a more important topic. He hadn't brought it up in a very long time but the unproductive exhaustion exuding from his foe compelled him to speak before he could think: “Shame you don’t have a real teacher-” he sighed moving towards her, his feet with a mind of their own, “so much wasted potential.”

She’d backed herself into the wall, her brown-golden eyes wide. He needed to be close to her- to feel her energy and understand everything that had brought her to this point.

What was she thinking? What was his mother putting her through that brought her to such anger? Ren could see the darkness festering in her and couldn’t lie to himself that he enjoyed the sight.

Backing her into the wall he placed his hand next to her head and leaned in close. Rey was not necessarily short, yet he smiled at how small she looked below him in this moment. “I don’t need you,” she hissed. He fixed his gaze on her- perhaps there was still a chance she’d join him, and not by his own convincing, Perhaps his mother would finally do him a favor and drive her insane enough to push her into his arms.

The thought made him smile “You don’t?” With a fleeting last glance she was gone. He missed her energy signal already. Her anger was so familiar to him at that moment, there was a side of him that wanted to scoop her up and shield her from the same horrors he’d been put through.

He remembered the weight of the Skywalker Legacy that had been placed upon him when he was just a boy. Everything that came with its blood-soaked claws. An insistence upon perfection, an obligation that runs through your veins- a personal unspoken debt owed to the galaxy. This silent contract with the universe that haunted his grandfather, then his mother and uncle, and now because of his failure during his youth the burden was hers.

He shuddered at the intrusive thought. How could he be so stupid? How could he ever trust her again, knowing she’d always return to her precious rebellion. To that traitor she called a friend, and to the mother who never loved him. The ache hit him again, that was the same woman who trained Rey now, making her feel small like he once had as a child.

There was no room for sympathy in this war, for compassion. Something Snoke was right about. He had too much empathy for the girl and her similarities to himself. Which is why when the time came he’d have to kill her- like he did his father. Not that his fathers death went as planned, another story for a different time.

He wished he could snuff out his interest in Rey- for a man with an extremely busy schedule and an entire galaxy to run, he spent far too much of his time thinking about her. Not even defeating her- just her.

He still stood in the spot as if Rey was still beneath him, he felt his chest squeeze. He must stop this, he had far more important things to attend to. Yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling that ever since he’d met her the light had been creeping back into his life. What was he going to do?

Chapter Text

It was a strange setting. This jungle was nothing at all like Ajan Kloss, it was darker and seemed to be glowing. Plants sprouted from the ground so tall that they dwarfed Rey and energetically emitted so much power she felt overwhelmed. Her spine tingled as the sound of disembodied laughter floated past her.

“Where am I?” she asked aloud. Looming and terrifying she somehow felt it was somewhere she should be. “Rey…” a voice whispered.

“Luke?” she asked, following its sound.

Into the mist she traveled deeper into the musty forest till she came upon an entrance to a cave. Within this cave was a shimmering blue lake, at its center an island. Moonbeams shone through the center of the cavern onto the island, squinting she could see glowing blue flowers growing under its light.

“This place will lead you down a path to everything you’ll ever need” the dead master's voice echoed. But where was she? “The heart of the galaxy” he answered without being asked.

The distant laughter began to increase, Rey began to feel like she was no longer welcome. Luke’s voice rang again heightened this time “let the force guide you here, come as quickly as possible!” The laughter surrounded her on all sides and she tried to run from it, sprinting as fast as she could towards the flowers and jumping into the lake.

As the cold water hit her body she awoke in her resistance quarters. Sitting upright abruptly she tried to steady her breath. Was it a dream? A vision? Both? She was covered in a cold sweat- the force prickling her skin. It had all seemed so real, what was she to do?

It was slightly earlier than she usually awoke but found no point in trying to return to sleep. She’d start her meditations early. Yet, all she could see everytime she closed her eyes were the blue flowers. She’d discuss this with Leia after her training.

The same useless training- again.

Throughout the previous day’s Rey found her conversation with Ren following her, the truth of the words shadowing her daily routine. Rey’s course time only worsened as did her mood. It was all Kylo Ren’s fault- for taunting her, making her question herself, and worst of all being so right. Now along with these visions she only grew more tense. After defeating the fixed combat remote she ran to the general to see her new track time.

“Not terrible” the General remarked.

Rey sat on the mossy ground panting, she was giving it her all. There was just nothing that could calm her racing mind, she was so distracted. Leia sensed her distress “What are you thinking?” Rey looked up, deciding to pin all her stress upon her vision.

She explained the dream and moved onto all the questions she had surrounding it “how do I even find this place? Is it even real, the planet was so strange.”

“Do you trust it was truly my brother reaching out to you?” Leia questioned sitting next to Rey. She searched her feelings, she felt no dark presence. The feeling was similar to the one that led her to Ahch-to, it was a calling. “Yes, it was Luke. He said to let the force guide me there… but, that's ridiculous right? How can I go somewhere with no coordinates?”

Luke seemed to be as helpful in death as in life.

“Meditate, the answer will come to you” Leia, who seemed to be the same level of help, said, patting her back. Rey nodded and said, “I’ll focus on that, thank you General.” She helped the older woman to her feet, surprisingly the General wrapped her into a long embrace.

“Rey, you are stronger than you know. I have complete faith in all you are doing. From the moment I met you I could tell you were special- anyone could.” Rey rested her head on the Generals shoulder, she wondered if this was what having a mother was like. Immediately, guilt hit her. She had been being so childish- Leia only wanted what was best for her, that’s why she was pushing her so much. Best for her, the resistance, the galaxy.

“Sometimes-” Leia continued “it’s as if I’ve known you forever. I don’t know why, but it’s as if you were my own child coming home.” Rey began to sob into Leia’s shoulder and the General held her tighter. There was an understanding between them that didn’t need words. This was because Rey felt the same, she found it reflected in her ability to get annoyed by the General surprisingly enough.

She always felt free to let her emotions fly off the wall with Leia, now considering the Generals words it made more sense. With family you had the luxury of anger, you could be as mad as you wanted at them- but, they’d always come back, and deep down always love you. She felt so grateful for Leia in this moment, it was a connection Rey had never felt before. Something about her, all of these people related to Anakin Skywalker, that she felt such a strong connection to. But, why? And why did they also feel this connection?

“It’ll be alright,” Cooed the General, “go to lunch. Think over what we talked about and the answers will come to you. Surrender to the force, it will always be there for you.” As Rey pulled back the General smiled, wiping the tears from Rey’s cheeks.

Rey made her way to the mess hall where she found her friends already dining. She sat down with her tray and picked at her food as she listened in on their conversation- they were discussing Rose’s spy mission. She had been in communication with a first order spy who seemed to have it out for the Supreme Leader.

“He said this was happening when?” asked Finn leaning into the conversation. Rose sipped on her drink and in a hushed voice and grin said “ninety-six rotations.” Both Finn and Poe leaned back in their seats, loudly reacting with shock “No way!” Poe exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Will you keep it down-” Rose said with a roll of her eyes “I swear this is why the general doesn't want me telling you things.” Finn and Poe continued with their show “to think our problems could be over in ninety-six rotations” Finn sighed. For this Poe playfully whacked the back of Finn’s head “That’d solve nothing- someone just as awful will take his place. I guess it’d make Rey’s life easier.”

All eyes shot to Rey who was playing with her food. “What are we discussing?” She asked, still distracted by her conversation with the General earlier. Rose scooted closer to Rey and whispered “there’s a plot within the First Order to kill Kylo Ren.”

It was as if Rey had been punched in the stomach, she gagged on the food she’d been chewing. It’s not as if she were surprised at this information- however her gut reaction was that she didn’t want it to happen. A reaction which surprised and frightened her- a reaction she didn’t share with her friends.

Rose patted her back as she coughed on her choked food. “When?” Rey asked. Poe leaned in whispering, “At the celebration gala for his first year as the Supreme Leader.” Rey sat and felt conflicted. Was she upset because this was supposed to be her kill? No- Rey had never been like that. Was this some other darkness Kylo Ren was pulling out of her?

“Rey, are you alright?” Finn asked with concern in his voice. Rey shook her head “I doubt it will work.” Her friends looked at each other puzzled, “Why not?” Rose asked.

“There’s too much time- he will find out and he will stop them. He’s clever like that.” Rey insisted with too much passion. She sighed “I just feel it in the force” she lied which caused them all to relax. Rey found if she blamed something on the force anyone would believe anything she was saying.

She watched Poe place a hand on Finn’s back and begin rubbing it comfortingly. It didn’t take the force to tell something had been growing between the two men. While Rey and Finn were close and trusted each other explicitly she was beginning to understand Finn and Poe shared something much different. It seemed like Finn had been growing increasingly worried for Rey’s well-being. Had he shared his concerns with Poe?

Rey decided to change the topic to the thing everyone wanted her to talk about anyways- being a Jedi. “I had a vision," she admitted. This caught everyone's attention “of what?” Finn asked. Rey focused her mind on the vision remembering its strange and powerful energy, “There were these blue flowers that glowed and I think I’m supposed to find them.”

“How?” Rose inquired, causing Rey to shake her head, “That’s the thing I’m not sure. In the vision I heard Luke’s voice and he said that the force would lead me to them- but, I don’t understand what that means.”

“Maybe meditate some more?” Poe suggested which made Rey feel like imploding- if one more person suggested meditation as the solution to anything one more time Rey might lose it. “No-” Rey insisted standing and in her annoyance accidentally knocked over her glass causing it to spill. Her friends at the table stood quickly to avoid being splashed, they all began taking napkins to the red liquid.

In the spillage it was as if she saw a map “No- don’t clean it!” Rey insisted “What, why?” asked Finn who attempted to clean it again causing Rose to slap his hand. “You don’t see it?” Rey asked who could see the map clear as day. Everyone looked at the mess, puzzled and concerned, but Rey’s eyes lit up.

“The Deep Core - it’s where I need to go” Rey insisted, causing Poe to laugh “Have you lost your mind? You want to fly into a black hole?” Rey couldn’t explain it but this seemed obvious to her now “I need to go to where only the force can take me.”

Her friends hit her with objections claiming she’d lost it. No she hadn’t- it all seemed so clear to her now. These flowers were not normal, they were special and intertwined within the force; the whole planet seemed to be that way. And, it was true that all the force was connected. With the force inside her that meant there was an undeniable connection between herself and these flowers.

Amidst the chaos in the mess hall Rey closed her eyes and for the first time understood why she meditated- she focused on the energy of the planet and its cave filled with flowers and let Ajan Kloss disappear. It was as if she’d zoomed inside of herself and she could feel it- the planet and its flowers calling like a compass. If she approached the Deep Core the planet would present itself to her, she couldn’t explain it other than she knew it would happen.

She opened her eyes “I need to speak with the General,” she announced marching away from the table with her friends trailing behind her. “Rey- calm down. What’s going on, talk to us.” Insisted Finn. Between her friends panicking that Rey was going to fly into a black hole and her own determined energy she could feel a shift in the force.

The group marched into Leia’s office with Rey leading the charge. “Everyone look at this-” she stated as she pulled up a holomap of the deep core “there is nothing there!” Rey exclaimed excitedly.

“What’s going on?” Questioned the General. “Rey’s lost it-” Poe sighed “I have not.” Rey insisted, “General I need an energy scan done of this sector of the galaxy, because I guarantee if a scan is done you’ll find a planet there that’s unaccounted for.”

“What is this about?” asked the General again seeking clarity on Rey’s enthusiasm. “Force flowers?” Said Finn still unclear. “Alright-” said the General as she sat back in her chair and held up her comm, “I need a scan done of these coordinates to tell me if there's a sign of a celestial body.” Her comm lit up in response and someone on the other end replied “yes General.”

The group awaited in a silent anticipation- Rey grinning ear to ear. “What do you even need these flowers for?” Rose asked. Rey shrugged to her it didn’t really matter why the force was beckoning her here- because it was at least something, it was at least a direction, it was the semblance of being a Jedi that Rey and everyone else so desperately needed. “I’m not sure, but Luke told me to find them so it must be important.”

The silence continued and the energy in the room remained confused until the comm lit up again “General- I’m not sure how it's possible but there is a massive energy source coming from that sector despite no visible planet or object being located or mapped in that region.” Rey threw her hands in the air “Yes! I knew it!” Everyone's jaw dropped- if they wanted a Jedi, Rey would give them a Jedi who could do impossible things like find planets that supposedly weren’t there.

“General I have to go to the Deep Core and find these force flowers- I know it seems crazy but I’m being called to them,” Rey begged. The General shrugged what else was there to say “If my brother has called you to them, you must go.”

Rey cheered and hugged her friends, who knew how long she would be gone and what’d she discover. She would miss them but her excitement could not be contained for her first real Jedi mission- but then her blood ran cold. There he was in the corner- Kylo Ren.

How long had he been there? How much had he heard? He smirked as if she’d just given him a key- and in that moment she knew he must have been called to these flowers as well and she had just given up their location. He disappeared instantly.

She had to leave now. It was only a matter of time, Rey and Kylo Ren had to face each other once more.

Chapter Text

The first thing he noted was that she looked happy. He was sitting in his private chambers when she appeared to him, yet she was too distracted to notice his silent arrival. She was speaking excitedly to those around her, although he could not see who she was with. Was his mother there? Would she be able to sense his presence?

He could only hear Rey’s half of the conversation “there is nothing there!” she exclaimed excitedly. What could she possibly be talking about? He moved to the shadow of his room hoping this would somehow conceal him. He watched her place both her hands on her hips- the signature response of her annoyance. This was something he recognized early on, as he often tends to get on her nerves. Although he was sad to see she didn’t solely reserve the pose for him.

“I have not!” Rey exclaimed. He watched the fire dance in her eyes. “General, I need an energy scan done of this sector of the galaxy, because I guarantee if a scan is done you’ll find a planet there that’s unaccounted for.” So his mother was present?

He watched Rey pace for several moments in silent anticipation. An unaccounted for planet? Why would she be searching for this? Were the rebels trying to enhance their security by hiding out on an uncharted planet?

He watched Rey shrug then respond to the air “I’m not sure, but Luke told me to find them so it must be important.” Find what? What had his late uncle tasked her with now?… besides his own demise. However, by the way Rey was speaking, it seemed like she didn’t have all the answers either.

He watched her sharply turn her attention, focusing intently on whatever she was looking at, then do something he’d never seen her do before: smile. She grinned the largest grin exclaiming, “Yes! I knew it!” He decided he liked her smile even more than the smirks she’s given him.

“Focus Kylo” He told himself, he’d give himself a proper lecture later over having had that thought.

“General I have to go to the Deep Core and find these force flowers- I know it seems crazy but I’m being called to them.”

Quickly he redirected himself to her conversation- did she say force flowers? It could only be the Midichlorian Flower, of course the force was also calling her to them. It seemed- as always- their destinies were intertwined, and now thanks to her he also knew their location.

He would have the First Order’s radar technicians scan for this planet, hopefully their more advanced technology would give Kylo the advantage of getting there first. Then once the planet was located, he and his knights would descend and take what he had been searching for since the beginning of his rule.

Then she caught his eye, a look of horror traveled across her face. In an instant she was gone. A thunder of emotions hit Kylo, along with a multitude of questions. There was no time to ask them now though, he’d just have to do it when he faced her again.

Swiftly and discreetly he had the planets located, this was a job for him and the knights. They were currently based on Athiss looking for a sith relic Kylo had been interested in. He would be happy to finally get good use out of them; ever since the Knights of Ren devoted themselves to Kylo it seemed he only ever used their assistance for growing his relics archive.

The Knights were always happy to assist, as their only true desire was to follow ”the shadow,” as they called it. Ren reassured them that finding these artifacts was serving in the quest to bring the galaxy into darkness. However it wasn’t only the sith artifacts they retrieved, anything from the age of the jedi was to be gathered as well.

Kylo had always had a knack for history, since he was a boy he’d study the rise and falls of empires. Growing up he’d especially love learning about the clone wars. How the downfall of the republic led to the very power he wielded now. He grew up educated as a diplomat, yet raised like a warrior. With his bloodline, who else was more equipped to rule the galaxy?

However loyal his Knights claimed to be, he had a tendency to keep them at arm's length. On occasion- when the Knights first devoted themselves- perhaps after a long pointless mission Snoke had sent them on - he would humor and hang out with them. However he found despite their similar interest as warriors he differed from them in both personality and pastimes.

The Knights brand of fun consisted of bars, gambling, and women. Bars and gambling never interested him much, and for a time neither did women. In the beginning he was oblivious to when a woman showed him interest.

There were many times back in the day when a woman would approach him only to be dismissed by his lack of awareness. This resulted in endless teasing from his knights- the great leader of the Knights of Ren, ignorant of the appeal of a woman's touch. Too preoccupied with legacy and stuck on the history of a man he’d never met. Far too busy plotting to rule the galaxy with a long nose stuck in a book.

Despite being their leader Kylo was significantly younger than the knights. They followed him not because of age or wisdom, but because of strength and darkness. Only fully submitting to him once they believed he killed his father- snuffing the last bit of light left in him. The Knights of Ren only followed “The Shadow.” If they believed for a moment he was not the darkest energy in the galaxy they’d betray him in an instant.

Inevitably, the teasing got to him. Muddling through these strange new interactions Kylo found that, for some reason, women seemed to enjoy his awkward charm. Thus beginning an age of reckless entanglements- never truly meaningful or satisfying, and at some point he’d lost count of his late-night escapes. He’d enjoyed it while it lasted but never found a reason to continue this behavior as the years went on, he supposed he grew out of it. At least his Knights no longer treated him like a little boy.

He found more important things to do, like studying “force flowers” as Rey had been calling them. He contacted his knights discreetly, sharing the location and instructions:

URGENT - Location of Midichlorian Flower located. Meet at -410.03, -327.09, 101.9. Rey- alias The Last Jedi- is to be retrieved UNHARMED.

He began packing his things, he didn’t know how long he’d be gone for and the entire mission was a giant risk. A risk worth taking? Midichlorian Flowers and Rey… definitely worth it. The galaxy would survive him remotely operating it for a couple of days.

He boarded his ship and began powering the hyperdrive. He sat patiently tapping his fingers on the dashboard while he waited. He turned his head to find the passenger seat next to him full.

They stared at one another. Both knew the other's unspoken actions- silence like a duel at high noon. Ren would shoot first.

“We could agree right now to work together. The force has summoned us both.” His voice came out softer than expected, what was he doing?

She continued to glare at him. “No” is all she said. The air was strikingly tense, at this point in their tension the force typically pulled them apart- instead, it kept them agonizingly close. If he were a brave man he’d reach out to touch her. He knew she didn’t want that, so he kept his hands to himself.

They tried not looking at each other, looking directly at each other, and then not looking at each other again. The ship was at full power now. He chuckled to himself, might as well start the ship, then maybe she’ll disappear.

“What could possibly be funny about this?” she huffed. He casually waved his hand in the air “Right now we’re just sitting next to each other. Yet, in a few hours time are supposed to fight to the death?” She wasn’t getting the point.

Rey stuttered a bit, and placed a hand on her hip “What, do you want to fight on the ship?”

“Not really,” he replied, readying to take off.

“Then what do you want?” She spat.

“I’ve told you what I want.” He retorted with passion.

She looked at him utterly confused and then vanished. It seemed like weapons will be drawn after all. With that he pushed some final buttons and blasted off into hyper-space. He’d see her soon.

Chapter Text

“How long will you be gone for?” asked Finn, giving her a tight grip, burying his head in her shoulder. A sadness hung in the air, it sang a song telling of a long goodbye and everyone could hear it even if they couldn’t consciously recognize it. This wasn’t going to be like last time when Rey was only gone for a few days. It was nearly the one year anniversary since the battle of Crait and the friends had grown comfortable in their closeness. “I’m not sure- as soon as I fulfill the force's wishes I will return.”

As she hugged Finn she took a moment to be present. To hear the wild and strange birds of Ajan Kloss sing, to feel the thick moisture that was ever present in the air. She could see the rebel base whirling with life- a constant ever moving machine preparing for its next battle.

Finn let go of Rey trying to hide the tears in his eyes, he had always had such a good heart. Rey then embraced Rose, despite only knowing her a few short months Rey felt such gratitude for her. It made it a little easier to leave Finn and Poe behind knowing someone with a level head would keep them in line.

Rose burst at the seams with excitement for her friend “go get em’ Rey!” She hugged the other girl deeply. Rey would miss their late night talks, it seemed that after the death of her sister Rose had latched onto Rey. Rose would confide in her how painful that loss was, Rey could feel her intense sorrow and felt compelled to make as safe of a space possible for her to express all that she’d gone through. Rose in return would give Rey the opportunity to talk about her past, Rey seldom took that offer.

It was as if every time she’d go to speak the words would slip her mind, she’d feel numb and dazed at the thought of her past. The repetitiveness of it all, the isolation, the humiliation of abandonment. At times the darkness would take hold and she’d feel jealous that at least Rose had someone to lose. Which was an awful terrible thought that in her heart didn’t truly resonate with Rey and caused her immense guilt. It also caused her fear and made her examine the truth in Kylo Ren's words.

As she let go of Rose, Poe turned to hug her next. “Go kick ass!” He told her. Poe had grown on Rey as well, despite her mistrust of him with the Falcon. He was turning into a real leader and never lacked an encouraging word when her morale was low. She also felt grateful that Finn had someone so strong taking care of him in her absence.

BB-8 rolled at her feet whirling and whistling a goodbye, she patted his head and thought of just how far she had come. If it wasn’t for this little orange droid where would she even be? Nowhere- back on Jakku wasting her life away waiting for people who were never returning.

Finn ran to her giving her one last final hug “I’m going to miss you so much!” He cried. She began crying too, she looked over her shoulder at her friends. The people who knew her better than anyone, she felt a sharp pain in her heart at the reality of leaving them behind.

She thought of the Resistance and how much they were all risking. All these lives dedicated to something greater- bigger- than themselves, average people just like herself who were filled with so much love and hope, all working day and night to try to build a future they believed in. They had given Rey the first home she’d ever known and her gratitude for that couldn’t be understated.

She could feel it in the force just how vital this mission was to the continued success of the Resistance. Rey absorbed as much love as she could in that moment and decided she’d do everything in her power to not disappoint them. ‘I promise-” she sniffled “to make you proud.”

Now with tears in their eyes as well Poe and Rose joined in for a group hug “We’re already proud” cried Finn. It was a bittersweet moment. Despite how hard the past few months had been- with all its misunderstandings, failures, and regardless of the mountain of pressure that fell upon her shoulders- she had a moment of clarity of why she had been working so hard - so these people she loved could live in a free galaxy. Rey would dedicate this quest to them, so that one day they wouldn’t have to fight anymore.

The friends cried together until the sound of someone clearing their voice broke them apart. “General!” Said Poe standing up straight. “You remind me of being young” sighed Leia, “many years ago Han, Luke, and myself found ourselves making tearful departures. I want you all to know what you have is special, and no matter the distance- in life and in death- you will always have each other.”

The friends understood the General's words were meant to be comforting but it only made them cry more. Rey picked up her bags and felt the churning of her stomach, it was time to leave. She did one last round of goodbye hugs with her friends then turned to the General who embraced her warmly. “May the Force be with you, Rey, always.”

Hearing those words calmed her senses and gave her courage, she headed towards the Falcon waving her final goodbyes. She boarded and began firing up the ship, setting her things down and checking she had everything. She took with her several months worth of rations which were already loaded onto the ship, the Jedi text she’d permanently “borrowed” from Luke, and her half-working lightsaber.

The Falcon was quickly ready and she fired off into hyperspace. She went to grab one of the books and returned to the passenger seat so she could kill some time and study up before she met her moment of truth.

She felt the air go static around her as she saw him sitting in the pilot's seat. She stared at him with ferocity- there he was, the man who was the source of her every problem, the man who controlled the machine which kept the galaxy in a cage. He looked at her with an expression she couldn’t understand “We could agree right now to work together. The force has summoned us both.” She gritted her teeth, the kirffing audacity “No” is all she said.

She looked away from him in rage, but he kept staring at her which only made her more frustrated so she glared at him again- which caused him to look away and pretend he hadn’t been staring at her. What was this man’s problem? So she looked away as well, this went on for an uncomfortably long moment. At the same time they looked at each other again- just staring, this was uncomfortable too so they looked away again.

Suddenly he began flicking buttons on the Falcon- however none of the buttons moved so she realized he must also be in his ship preparing to come find her. He chuckled softly to himself as he worked. “What could possibly be funny about this?” she huffed.

Dismissively he waved a hand at her “Right now we’re just sitting next to each other. Yet, in a few hours time are supposed to fight to the death?” She wasn’t getting the point.

Rey stuttered a bit “What, do you want to fight on the ship?” He truly knew how to be infuriating, she placed a hand on her hip.

“Not really.” He said flatly.

“Then what do you want?” She spat.

“I’ve told you what I want.” He retorted, finally showing aggression.

She looked at him utterly confused and then he vanished.

What did he mean by that? He was so confusing it drove her insane. She took many many deep breaths and thought of her friends back on Ajan Kloss and remembered her purpose, his words didn’t matter- when she saw him it would be war.

Chapter Text

He launched out of hyperspace with a jolt- the force rang out in a tune shrouded in tense mystery. He stood at the controls of his ship in awe. There it was, tucked away in the deep core, a planet that shouldn’t exist. A planet which revealed itself to Rey which she revealed to him- destiny was a tight thread pulling them in close with its glaringly obvious message: It was time to meet again, it was time to work together.

Kylo couldn’t think of a single good reason the force would summon them both to the flowers if they weren’t meant to use them together. Why find them just to kill each other? Especially since it was clear Rey had no idea the value in the flowers.

As much as Kylo tried and tried and failed again and again he just could never get Rey out of his head. Not from the moment he’d met her- no- since the moment he heard of her existence. The way Rey had spoken to him about her calling to the island resonated with him- it was how he felt about her. She was a hyperfixation he couldn’t purge no matter his many attempts.

He had been trained in the force his whole life and could truly feel that there was something special in their connection. It was something so vibrant and real that was just out of reach, this time he was more determined than ever to bring her back with him. The First Order be damned- this was his priority now.

He sat in space for a moment peering down on the dark storm clouds that swirled within the planet below. He then gazed into the distance- there it was the black hole the galaxy spun around.

Kylo had the calculations done before approaching the planet, it was the closest a planet could possibly be to a black hole without being sucked in. As the black hole continued to eat, in a few thousand years this would likely no longer be true and the planet would be destroyed. Kylo Ren would probably be one of the last to ever step foot on this planet.

It was a perfectly circular endless black void, circling around it was a bright yellow that spread into an orange and then a blue- a stark white beam of light shot from its center into itself and into infinity. Kylo swore it made a low sort of vibrational sound which he would never be able to verbalize. It was endlessly massive- so terrifyingly massive it struck a primal fear in Ren’s heart. The energy it emitted was like being hit by lightning and its palpable vibrations mocked Kylo- no words were spoken but he understood what it was saying “I have seen everything.” Nothing would ever be more powerful than this. He turned his eyes away from its monstrous beauty for fear of going mad.

Something caught his eye- it was the Night Buzzard departing hyper-space, a once dungeon ship converted by The Knights of Ren into their omen of death. The Oubliette-class transporter lurched towards his own ship as Kuruk commed in, his gruff voice spitting “this the place?”

“Yes-” Kylo commed back “my instructions were understood?”

The line was silent for a moment “yes, Sir” Kuruk grunted back. “Good.” Kylo sighed “you and the other Knights will locate the Medi-Flowers, let me handle the Jedi.”

“Copy that,” and Kylo watched the Night Buzzard begin its descent. Kylo was quick to follow, the Knights would begin an energy scan and once they’d found the Medi-Flowers he would join them. For now he followed his instincts- as something strange was calling him.

Kylo landed upon a mountain peak, it was hard to find a spot as the terrain was so deeply dense and the plants so dwarfing. The peak was filled with life and beautiful plants, despite the general eeriness of the planet it was quite serene and beautiful. In the distance he could hear running water and began to follow it. It was a massive river flowing downstream from the mountain- in the distance a towering waterfall. Kylo gazed up at it in awe of its beauty and strength making his jaw drop, it had to be one of the largest natural structures he’d ever seen. The waterfall was not wide per-se, just never ending no matter how hard Kylo gazed into the dark sky he could not see its source, thousands upon thousands of gallons must have been pouring from its edge.

His eyes traveled back down to see the powerful water hitting the pool below it, at its rocky edge stood a figure in all black. Kylo was very far away from the figure- however it gave him no comfort, his breath hitched as the figure approached him. He knew who this was. In his hubris he thought he’d have no fear when this day finally came. He was wrong.

The figure began approaching him in threatening strides, he was horrified with awe as he noticed this figure’s steady pace. It was the type of walk that said “you may run but there is no escape.”

Kylo could tell from the figure's approach that he meant harm, giving Kylo no choice but to dig his feet into the ground and assume a battle stance. He grabbed his saber from his side, pointed it downwards and ignited his weapon, then he drew it upwards and directed it at the cloaked figure who was now only a hundred feet from himself.

The figure was tall- it was rare Kylo Ren found someone to be taller than himself. That’s when Kylo heard the mechanical breathing, yes he had watched holos of this man his entire life and knew of this trait, however he was completely unprepared to how intimidating that hissing crisp sound was.

“Quooo-cuhhh”

“Quooo-cuhhh”

“Quooo-cuhhh”

“Grandfather,” Kylo said shakily.

Darth Vader ignited his crimson lightsaber. “This is how you plan to uphold the legacy of the Skywalkers?” his robotic voice threatened.

Kylo gulped “Yes- I want to finish what you started.”

Vader began his approach “How do you plan to do this when you don’t even know who I am, Ben Solo.”

Vader struck first, forcing Kylo to dodge by falling to the ground and rolling away, he looked up fearful and wished he still had his old mask, only now truly understanding his inspiration. Kylo was quickly back on his feet and Vader struck again- he was violently strong and Kylo was unprepared for how powerfully Vader's saber crashed against his own. He’d never faced such an opponent and prayed he never would again.

Two red sabers began to dance, and the guard of Kylo’s blade proved to be useful as they locked together. “Quooo-cuhhh” Kylo looked into the mask’s glossy black eyes seeing nothing but his own fearful face being reflected back. Vader’s brute strength began pushing Kylo backwards towards the falls.

Kylo almost stumbled again, Vader took this opportunity to launch Kylo with the force. Kylo went flying hitting the back wall next to the waterfall. Vader sauntered forward and Kylo backed himself onto the jagged rocks he expected Vader to swing again- instead with a single hand he stopped the waterfall with the force.

Vader stood without flinching holding hundreds of thousands of gallons of water in place, revealing a secret entrance into the mountain. In this moment Kylo Ren understood his grandfather Darth Vader had more in common with a black hole than he did with a man.

Kylo bolted into the cavern, Vader's strength was unimaginable. He looked back over his shoulder to see Vader effortlessly maintain his control over the waterfall and walk through the cavern himself.

Kylo’s entire perception of reality was being torn apart in front of him- of course his Grandfather couldn’t really be here alive. This had to be some sort of force manipulation, the planet playing with him like food. He continued to run as fast as his feet would carry him through the stone maze. Kylo could hear the hum of Vaders light saber behind him.

“No-” he cursed, he’d hit a dead end. So he did the only thing he could think of- he kneeled. “Grandfather, please. All my life I have lived in your image, spending my days seeking your wisdom. You are my idol.”

“No, I am your false idol.”

It felt like the world was being crushed around Kylo, he didn’t understand.

“You wish to fulfill all I could not? Then learn how man turned to monster- only then can you prevent yourself from meeting my fate.” With that Vader clenched his fist and crumbled the wall behind Kylo and launched him backwards.

Kylo hit the ground hard and watched Vader disappear into the mist. He found himself in shallow crystal clear water, turning to find his prize.

In front of him sat the Midichlorian Flowers on a tiny island in the shallow waters. Bright blue with golden centers, moonbeams shined down on them. Across the pond from the opposite entrance to the cavern was Rey, she had sprinted in with a panicked look on her face.

He got to his feet, she was here in the flesh. They stood across from each other just gazing into each other's eyes and in the same moment ignited their sabers. If it was a fight she wanted- that’s exactly what she'd get.

Chapter Text

She launched out of hyperspace with a jolt- the force rang out in a tune shrouded in tense mystery. She stood at the controls of her ship in awe. There it was tucked away in the deep core, a planet that shouldn’t exist. Rey had really done it; she revealed a hidden planet, to both herself and Ren. The force was reeling her in close to Ren this time, its message clear: show him all you’ve learned.

She’d spent the remainder of her ride on the Falcon repairing her lightsaber, she refused to embarrass herself infront of him. She practiced her forms until it was time to come out of hyper-space. Rey had to be careful maneuvering the Falcon, one wrong move and she’d be dead, a black hole was not something to be messed with.

Now that she was here she took in the reality of her situation, she was about to face Kylo Ren with a faulty lightsaber with no real plan or reason to be here in the first place. She took a long breath; now was not the time to let nerves get to her. Instead she focused on her surroundings.

She couldn’t believe her eyes- in front of her was a black hole. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen and she felt grateful knowing she’d gazed upon something so magnificent. It was endless in its blackness with a white beam traveling into it that seemed to go on forever. Surrounding it was a wonderful marbling, closest to its center a golden yellow that faded into a rich orange, then deep blue into a lighter blue mist.

The center of the galaxy, the anchor that gave all of life the ability to exist. It seemed to hum an audible tune to Rey- though she’d never quite be able to describe it. It told her something too “Everything is yet to come. Everything has already happened.” Rey turned away for fear she’d gaze forever lost in its beauty.

She decided to let the force continue to guide her, it had taken her this far. She’d follow her instincts to the flowers and bring them back to the resistance. So, she began her descent to the mysterious planet below her.

She landed the Falcon on the top of the side of a mountain, however, the mountain did not look the way it had in her vision. It was rocky and barren- completely devoid of life. She exhaled a sigh of relief as she peered over the side of the mountain to see the jungle below her. Rey was on the right planet thankfully, so she continued to scout the area. Eventually she came upon a crack in that mountain, it was a deep ravine with jagged rocks pointing out like knives. Very distantly, she could hear water running.

She peered over her shoulder to see a cloaked figure with its arms crossed. Startled, she took a step back nearly walking into the ravine.

“You believe you’re not good enough?” asked the cloaked man.

Rey didn’t understand. “Who are you?” she asked.

The man approached her unveiling his hood- he had light blonde hair and wide blue eyes “you don’t recognize me? I was once young too, you know?”

The man's tone and sense of humor reached Rey, she sighed “Luke!?” She began walking towards him only to jump back again as he ignited his green saber. “What are you doing?” she asked fearfully.

“You believe you’re not good enough?” he asked again. Luke had given her no choice; she ignited her own saber- quite frankly he was pissing her off. Believe she was good enough? Yes her doubt had been heavy recently, but she was just getting her spark back- she was not going to let Luke get in her head after all the help he’d been.

“Gahhhh” she yelled charging at him. Yellow and green sabers began to clash. He took a low swing at her that she easily dodged, in turn she swung her saber high and caught him off guard causing the younger Luke to fumble a bit. He pushed against her saber hard but she maintained power over him.

Luke then used a force push to knock her over, but she recovered quickly. Rey felt pride in realizing she kept up with him very well. She would almost describe it as joy as she watched the green and yellow sabers crash in tandem. “When I was first trained by Master Yoda-” Luke huffed between hits “I had little less than two days of training.”

He swung at her with precision as she ducked and dodged, giving her the opportunity to force kick him in the stomach away from her. He laid on the ground in front of her smirking, which gave her a sense of deep danger “and despite all of that I was still able to turn into this.”

Suddenly Luke used a massive force jump and flipped over her, when she turned her shoulder to see where he had landed she saw he was no longer his younger self. Instead he was the age she had known him at, perhaps slightly more clean shaven though.

She prepared to charge him again, but as soon as she started to run she was lifted from her feet, swerved from her spot and thrown into the jagged ravine. The immense power of the throw shocked her body, she’d never felt such strength before even from Kylo Ren.

Rey felt like she was falling forever, she used the force to hold herself mid-air preventing her from hitting the ground. As she landed herself she coughed heavily from dusty cave and scrambled to find her fallen lightsaber.

Suddenly she saw Luke land feet first on the cavern floor, unfazed by the impossible jump he’d just made. Now the match was completely uneven as Luke began throwing Rey around like a rag doll against the cavern walls with the force. His control over the force was deeply intimating and she prayed for a moment to catch her breath.

As she laid on the ground trying to regain her stance he approached with a slow intensity. She reignited her saber as his crashed into hers “do you understand Rey? It is growth, you could rival Luke Skywalker in his unbalanced youth.”

He pushed her away with the force “this is an accomplishment. But, if you ever intend to be something more you need to understand your darkness-” Rey ran back at him with ferocity “learn to control it.” Their sabers clashed again and again. Until Rey saw a tunnel behind her, she dodged Luke’s attack watching his saber get caught and slowed down by the stone wall he’d hit.

She took this opportunity and ran and ran hearing Luke shout behind her “learn balance and together the darkness can be stopped!” Hearing his words disappear, she turned a corner to find herself in the cavern from the vision. The first thing she saw was the flowers in the moonlight, then she saw him.

He was sitting in the water looking distressed, he stood as he saw her. Making eye contact they ignited their sabers in synchronicity. It was the moment she had been working towards and she was ready to prove just how far she’d come.

Chapter Text

The two trialed each other at the edge of the circular pool, red and yellow lightsabers prepared. An overhead view above the opening of the cave would show half the room aglow in yellow and the other half in red with the blue flowers glowing in the center, the clear water reflecting these colors as the two force users continued to circle each other.

“Kylo Ren,” she spat.

“Rey,” he warned.

Neither one of them wanted to disturb the flowers, which prevented a clear route of attack. The two were still absorbing the messages left to them by their visions.

Luke’s words were obvious in Rey’s mind, Vader's more confusing for Ren. Rey understood the vision well, Luke was showing her just how powerful she could be. He was telling her not only is there no reason to be afraid but that she was on the path to turn Kylo. She thought that was no longer what she wanted- “learn balance and together the darkness can be stopped!”- Luke had said. If that was her path to turn him to the light then who was she to argue with the force? But first she’d kick his ass and show him she didn’t need him as her teacher.

They continued stalking each other, lightsabers held with a white knuckle grip, and snarls placed on their faces. As Rey’s confidence grew Kylo’s shattered in front of him. What had Vader meant? “No, I am your false idol.” Had everything he’d known about the man been wrong? Kylo had solidly gotten his ass handed to him and his belief in his strength- the only thing he truly had- was deeply shaken. Ren took a breath collecting himself, he didn’t want to kill Rey, he just needed to beat her enough to convince her she needed his training.

“Do you even understand the importance of these flowers?” shouted Ren.

“I don’t have to understand them to know you shouldn’t have them” Rey retorted back.

“You need a teacher, Rey- someone who can show you how to use the flowers, someone who can raise you to your full potential” he huffed, pausing to really get a good look at her “please Rey let me help you.” He said extending a hand out to her in a last ditch attempt to persuade her.

She glared at him enraged and without thinking or understanding how she began charging towards him leaping over the flower island. Her saber raised high above her head mid-air, she landed on the other side of the pool in front of him with a great splash. She swung her saber hard as her blade hit Rens.

The air intensified as the raw energy of their conflict burst into full swing, each strike of their blade met with a frustrated rage from both ends. The cave seemed to hold its breath in anticipation of their every move, the tension palpable.

Kylo’s movements were shaky and lacked his usual command, still his natural ferocity kept his forms sharp. He advanced relentlessly refusing to show weakness, he wanted to show her just how powerful she was- which meant showing her just how much she needed to learn. His gaze locked onto Rey’s as if he was daring her to succumb to her own darkness.

Rey matched his intensity with determination. Her confidence high alongside her anger, she hadn’t realized just how much she held until now. She met his assault with agile precision, intune with her desire to win. Each clash of their sabers was a dynamic dance of want and desire- so similar, and yet so different. The force of their blows echoed through the chambers of the caverns, their movements became so in sync it was as if the two were dancing.

As they fought the proximity of their bodies drew closer. Their blades locked as did their eyes, faces only inches apart. The heat of their sabers matched only by the heat of their breath in the cold night’s air. The foes' faces told a story more than just one of combat, in their eyes spoke of something much more intimate and real that the pair fought hard to push down.

In a fleeting, heated moment, as the sabers locked tighter the energy surged throughout the chamber. Their breaths quickened as the space between them charged with a powerful electric intimacy and they stood still in their locked formation, simply gazing into the other as if at a loss of what to do next.

They had forgotten this- what it felt like to be in a room together. Why every time they met another layer of their souls peeled back a little more. How it caused them to become reckless and impulsive, how they had to fight every ounce of their beings to not just give into whatever this connection was. Both of their energy signatures were on fire, and with no other way to cope they fought ferociously.

Finally they both stumbled backwards and took a moment to regain their barings before continuing the battle. Each strike and movement met with an intensity that went beyond weapons and war. The cave silently bore witness to their fiery struggle, to their dance of light and darkness, of a song of passion and resistance, as they began tiring out from the exhaustion of battle. They continued on with determination fighting not just for victory, but for the soul of their shared struggles.

Then suddenly it seemed as if Rey was beginning to gain the upper hand, she had been the most aggressive throughout the duel as it seemed Kylo was only interested in fighting defensively, much to Rey’s annoyance. The possibility of really winning filled her with renewed vigor, and she began cutting through Kylo’s defenses with a series of swift powerful strikes. Her movements were fluid, her focus unyielding, driving him back further with every powerful swing.

But then, amidst her winning strikes, Rey’s makeshift lightsaber began flickering unpredictably, sputtering out its final bits of life before going dark. Rey’s heart dropped filled with embarrassment and shock at the now useless weapon in her hands. She stumbled back as Kylo’s powerful blade grazed Rey’s thigh.

The realization struck Ren like a physical blow, instinctual fear set in and he pulled his saber away from her watching her fall to the ground. Rey cried out in excruciating pain and Kylo flicked his blade off, he wanted to rush to her side, to help her- as if he wasn’t the one to have caused her harm. Kylo stood still in his stunned silence as he watched Rey cry out, he knew what he had to do.

Kylo clipped his saber to his side and removed his gloves. He approached her slowly in an attempt to show he meant no harm. Rey seemed to be in shock and screamed at him to move back. He held his hands over her charred pink wounds and felt her pain in the force. Her thigh was swollen and tender, exposing deep tissue which made Kylo’s stomach churn. Kylo was no stranger to pain and suffering, yet seeing Rey experience it gave way to a tidal wave of emotions. He ignored her pleas crouching at her side and tried something he’d only read about in books before.

He felt the massive force energy of the flowers, the mysterious energy of the planet, and the looming powerful energy of the black hole off in the distance. He took a deep breath feeling the power sink in and focused it to Rey’s thigh, holding his hands above the wound and watched before his own eyes the flesh begin to heal.

Rey’s breath was rapid and she moaned out an uncomfortable sound and grabbed onto one of his arms and shoulder for support as he mended her leg. The twisted knots of skin began growing back and flakes from the charred bit scabbed off and healed over. It wasn’t perfect and she needed medical attention still, but Ren had successfully prevented any long lasting damage.

As Kylo finished he felt a wave of exhaustion hit him and he fell on his back into the pool, drained of any remaining energy he had left. The two laid in stunned, shocked silence for a long time.

Eventually Ren spoke first, still laying in the water “you almost beat me-” she glared at him “if your saber hadn’t gone out you surely would have won.”

He excluded the thought that she’d likely not been as merciful as he had, which would have been fair of her. She didn’t know what to say, if she hadn’t been in so much pain she would be festering over the loss of her close victory. Instead she focused her attention to her confusion over Ren healing her.

Ren healing her shined light onto her hope he was not lost to the darkness. Still the intimacy of it all gnawed at her, the look of genuine concern in his eye, and the speed of instinct to heal her. Now reality had to be faced, because Rey was not striking to kill and neither was Ren, so what were they to do? The force couldn’t be clearer; it wanted them together. Rey almost wished she’d just listened to Ren's words on the ship. It would have saved her an injury. Still she’d never join the First Order, and Kylo would never join The Resistance, the stalemate stood strong even as they sat together refusing to kill each other.

Kylo still laid on his back gazing into the night sky above. “I won’t underestimate you again, Rey.” He finally said. The cavern seemed to lighten in atmosphere as Rey took in his words carefully.

She held her breath before finally speaking. “Help me rebuild my lightsaber?” A knot formed in her stomach from the anticipation.

To this Kylo Ren sat up, he suppressed a grin. “Of course” is all he said. The two sat in silence and gazed at each other. Suddenly the sound of a ship overhead and Ren’s comm went off “Master we have located the flowers-” a beam of light shined onto them from the ship “seems to be a cave entrance which they can be retrieved from.”

Ren commed back “I’m aware… I found them myself.” There was some sort of grumbling on the other end questioning why he hadn’t alerted them, which he ignored.

Kylo could feel Rey’s anxiety building “Don’t worry-” he calmed “it is only my Knights. They have been instructed under no circumstance to ever hurt you.” Her body released a bit at this, true exhaustion began hitting for both of them.

“Where will we go?” Rey whispered, watching the Knights of Ren release a rope ladder and begin their descent to harvest the flowers. “I have a private base on Endor-” he said realizing he was giving over his personal information to a member of the resistance, he found himself not caring. Hopefully he won't regret this later.

Rey wiggled uncomfortably, again Ren took a reassuring tone “it’s a privately owned lab and training facility, it is not on any First Order records. I have ensured its existence is secret. The Midichlorian Flowers are a personal project, the First Order opinion is not required in this matter.” She gazed at him starry-eyed, she was close to passing out due to the pain and before it could overtake her she decided in this moment she could trust him, for now.

“We will rebuild my saber?” she asked softly. “Yes-” he assured “and we will study the flowers together to unlock not only their powers, but ours.”

Rey felt content with this as consciousness began slipping away. Before her head could hit the ground he’d caught her in his arms. He picked her up, carrying her to his ship. He gazed down at her peaceful sleeping face- this was how they had met, him carrying her off to the stars. He was sure her effects this time would be as monumental as they had been that first day.

He wondered what was in store for them, he was more than eager to find out. This time he would do better, this time he would take care of her, maybe this time she’d stay.

Chapter Text

Rey woke up in a haze at the sound of medical alarms going off. Her disorientation worsened by her whole body aching and the awareness that her thigh was completely numb. She sat up groggily as she watched a medical droid whirl into the dark gray hospital room.

She didn’t recognize the droid type as it began taking her vitals and asking her various questions about her state of being. Where was she? She remembered passing out after her fight with Ren and she had essentially given him permission to take her with him, what a terrible decision. Now she was essentially captured again- this time of her own free will.

“What vaccinations have you been administered in the past two years?” inquired the droid. Rey hesitated to respond as her anxiety spiraled. What if this was all a trick? A trick to reveal The Resistance’s secrets, such as what illness they are vulnerable to so that The First Order can wipe them all out at once.

She took note that the droid was far more advanced beyond anything The Resistance had, which deeply discomforted her. “Heart rate is rising-” noted the droid taking a quick look at her stats and then glancing at Rey’s face “likely due to stress.” The droid jotted down on his digital notepad. Wonderful she was completely transparent.

The droid continued to blankly stare at her waiting for a response. She crossed her arms “I don’t know” she said in defiant honesty. “This is fine, we will do blood work to find out.” Damn there went her brilliant plan to protect The Resistance. “Have you been administered a form of birth control?” asked the droid, she thought for a moment and decided that wouldn’t put anyone in harm, answering honestly “yes.” Not that she had ever needed it on base.

The droid continued on with its questions for a minute more and then announced “The Supreme Leader will be with you shortly.” Leaving Rey to sit in silence and anticipation of the situation she now found herself in.

Time moved slow, as Rey’s mind raced. This had to be the most irresponsible thing she’s ever done in her life- besides the first time she shipped herself to him. She remembered in the cave feeling clarity that this was the correct thing to do, she now acknowledges she may have not been in her right mind when making the decision.

Suddenly a knock at the door; she sat a bit straighter in bed. Kylo walked in hesitantly, his outfit surprised Rey realizing she’d never seen him outside of his armor or official uniform. The outfit was still in a predictable shade of black, yet there was something so casual about his appearance that bothered Rey for reasons she didn’t understand.

Black boots, loose fitting pants that synched at the waist, with a square-shouldered v-neck tank top. She couldn’t look away from him, forgetting her anxieties for a moment. She hyper-fixated on how strangely relaxed the man in front of her was dressed, doing her very best to ignore the parts of his chest that were exposed along with his muscular arms. Rey pushed down the insecurity that she was in a musty gray hospital gown.

His back stayed pressed against the door and he fiddled with his own fingers slightly. Kylo had been worried as soon as Rey awoke that she’d demand to leave. He decided if that happened he would let her go, he understood that meant risking the exposure of this base, deeming it worthless. He knew deep down though, he’d built this place with her in mind, and if she wasn’t here to fill its halls with her radiance then it was already worthless.

These were all thought’s Kylo would have chastised himself for merely a year ago. But now, with no one to tell him what to do but himself, it became nearly impossible to block them out. Now with her staring back at him in the flesh, he knew the truth, he was obsessed with her- her potential- he corrected himself.

“How are you feeling?” he muttered.

Vulnerable, she thought. “Fine, my leg is numb.”

“That should wear off now that you’ve woken up, and you should not have any lasting pain” he assured. They continued to stare. There was so much to say he didn’t know what should be said.

“Where is the Falcon?” she asked pointedly.

“I had my Knights collect it through a tractor beam, no worries no one boarded it. It sits in a field outside the base. You’re free to visit it whenever you like-” he paused holding his breath “you’re free to leave whenever you like.”

This was the moment of truth he’d been waiting for, he knew this plan would only work with Rey being a free participant. Now all he could do was hope.

Rey couldn’t believe her ears, why was he being so gentle? He hadn’t been lost to the darkness like she believed, the assurance she’d felt back in the cave returned to her. “Thank You.” Is all she said.

Ren mentally let out a sigh of relief, she was going to stay- he could feel it. “I will have you moved to your room soon, I hope you will be more comfortable there. It is located near the training facility for convenience. Anything you need while you are here Rey, don’t hesitate to ask for it, truly anything. If we do not have what you need I will have it shipped in, my goal is your maximum comfort during your time here, anything in service of your training as a force user.”

“As a force user?” she clarified.

“Yes, just as a force user, involving light and darkness when it matters. With the Medi-Flowers I want to study the effects we have on each other's abilities. I find when we are in proximity to each other our abilities are heightened.” Ren explained.

Rey wondered what life would be like if she had just heard him out during one of their many force bond arguments. This was a plan she could participate in. However she understood it can’t last forever, this would have to end once she’d learned everything she needed to win this war. She was using his weakness for her to win this war she decided, it’s the way it had to be. She remembered her friends back home. They couldn’t be disappointed in her now if her presence here was in service to them. She pushed down how disingenuous it all felt.

“After you’ve settled into your room I will give you a tour of the facility should you feel well enough to attend.” Kylo mentally cursed himself for how robotic he sounded, however he wasn’t going to risk upsetting her. He didn’t know how long he could keep this up for.

“I have business to attend to, I hope to see you soon.” Kylo said swiftly exiting the room. He stood on the other side of the door, heart pounding, he’d felt so foolish in there. Not to mention he was mid-training when he got the call she had woken up so he didn’t have time to change into anything suitable and he was a sweaty mess. He’d probably insulted her with his appearance and started this whole thing off on the worst foot possible. Ren took a breath calming himself, he’d go to his room, change, and hope she’d be well enough to give her a tour of the facility.

Rey questioned what had just happened. He was acting strange, though she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. She did look forward to no longer being in this hospital room and changing. The droid came not too long after to collect her.

Her room was a plain cream color with wooden accents. It had a large window that looked into a deep green forest of trees with red wood. It was beautiful. It was a nicer room than her own quarters at The Resistances base. The outfit laid out for her was in a similar fashion to outfits she’d worn in front of Ren before. When she looked into a full closet of perfectly tailored clothing all in her image it was obvious. This room was made for her in mind.

The outfit on the bed was a light gray. She hung it back up, instead choosing a green tunic to wear instead, she’d never worn the color before and was overcome with excitement. It fit her perfectly. As she looked into the mirror admiring herself she reflected on her childhood. All those days wearing what rags she could afford that didn’t always fit, day in and day out the same unwashed outfit that smelled of sand and sweat. She was overwhelming herself and needed to stop.

She collected herself choosing to enjoy this moment. Kylo’s attentiveness was startling already, she gulped wondering what else would be in store for her and worried what would happen if she began growing used to it.

A knock at the door, it was him, she could feel his signature in the force. As soon as she walked at the door it would truly begin. She was excited and scared not knowing what to expect, this all felt so very important. She knew once she walked out that door she’d be a different person when she walked back through it.

Rey stood in front of the door feeling the deep anticipation in her gut. She took a deep breath and turned the handle.

Chapter Text

The tour should not have taken as long as it did. There was the lab, the training room, the quarters for the base’s staff and the Knights, a mess hall, and a large kitchen. The hold up came from Kylo as he went into great detail about every single room describing its purpose and why he had designed the building the way he did. Rey should have been annoyed but was grateful Kylo was filling the tension of their situation with an informational ramble.

They passed a large staircase which she noted Kylo specifically did not educate her about. She assumed it was his quarters.

The last room they stopped by was a workshop, all the miscellaneous parts organized methodically. “I moved all my supplies from the First Order to here a while back.”

She turned to the work bench to see her lightsaber already deconstructed. “I hope you don’t mind-” he said tentatively “I was trying to identify the problem.” Kylo felt like such an idiot, he should have waited for her to wake up to start on the saber. He had wanted to fix it on his own as a surprise for her when she awoke, however when he opened the saber up he was perplexed where to even start.

How the saber was functional at all was impressive and he accounted it must have had to do with her background as a junk-trader. He was impressed how much she understood about mechanics without any technical training. He tried to put it back together but he had made his saber according to Jedi records and couldn’t figure out how to make this one work once he’d disassembled it- besides she’d made the saber too big for her hands so she’d just have to start over.

“Well it had to be fixed anyways-” she sighed, she should have been angry he messed with her saber without asking but she found herself too tired to care. The strangeness of this day and her situation was hitting her still. “What’s the problem with it?” she asked instead sitting on the bench.
Kylo stood over her shoulder pointing at bits of the saber “The crystal isn’t fully protected in its case…” He said with confusion in his voice “I believe at least. I think it was overheating and causing it to go out mid-use. I could be wrong, my saber isn’t wired this way at all.” He concluded.

Rey took offense to this “well it was the best I could do with a one-thousand year old book in a different language and no help.” She placed a hand on her hip. Kylo spoke urgently “No that’s not what I was saying at all, it’s incredibly impressive.” Rey looked at him unconvinced, without thinking he sat next to her to fiddle with the pieces “You managed to build a perfect cycling field energizer, do you understand how remarkable that is?” he asked, grabbing the removed piece “then you correctly attached it to the blade’s energy channel which allowed it to be functional despite this… confusing wiring.”

Rey grabbed it from him, ignoring the short moment their fingers brushed. “That’s because I couldn’t figure out how to attach the focusing crystal activator, it was impossible to find one so I attempted to make my own.” She said lifting it up to him to point out the details of her work.

“Make your own?” he said excitedly “how’d you do that?”

“Oh well I took some miniature focusing lenses I removed from a laser and then synthesized it to some plasma glass, it took forever” she complained.

He nodded intrigued “I never had to make my own activator…” the two continued with their conversation over the technicalities of saber construction. It was as if, for this moment, they were in sync, they ignored the itch of enjoyment they felt discussing something neutral not tied to the war, a topic they enjoyed even. They ignored the conversation’s easy flow and their awe in the other’s admirable understanding of mechanics.

“It should be simple to build a new one, but you need a different shell that will fit your hand better” he explained. “What’s wrong with my current one?” She asked with genuine curiosity.

“I’m assuming you based your shell off Anakin’s saber?” he questioned, “yeah..”she replied. “Well that saber was built with his hands in mind, it’s much too large for yours.” Rey nodded “that makes sense, how do I figure out what size I need?”

Kylo grabbed what looked like a ring sizer, he placed it on his own ring finger “so my ring finger is an 11 1/2 which correlates to a 9 1/2 inch saber-” he showed her the little numbers on the sizer then grabbed Rey’s hand thoughtlessly and sized her ring finger. He placed the sizer on her finger then took it off to see the results “your’s is a size 6 so your’s should be a 7 1/2 inch saber.”

Despite taking the sizer off he still held her hand. The two stared down at Rey’s hand in his for a moment, both silently took notice of how small her hand looked in his before swiftly pulling away from each other. Rey actively made the decision to not think about how Kylo’s ring size was an 11 1/2.

Kylo cleared his throat “I have all the supplies though, so this shouldn’t take too long.” Rey gave him a weak smile and the two began to work.

Time flew by as the pair began focusing on their work, Kylo brought out the diagrams he had over saber construction which were much more helpful than the diagrams Rey had access to. As the two of them worked, Rey told Kylo the story of how she found and claimed her crystal, he nodded and told her the story of how he found his as a boy. The conversation was surprisingly effortless in a way that would later bother them once they found the opportunity to reflect on it.

For now they found themselves lost in the conversation and their intrigue in the other's story. Even with the small talk, between the two of them and their already proficient understanding of mechanics the saber was finished in under an hour.

The saber had a bronze outer shell that fit much more comfortably in her hand than the previous one had, it was sleek and light. Rey stood holding her saber up to test it, eagerness hit her as she went to ignite the saber. It sprung to life looking more golden than the yellow it once was, she assumed that meant the crystal was now even more focused.

She swerved it around a bit enjoying the smooth hum of the blade, she grinned and practiced some forms absentmindedly daydreaming. She stopped when she noticed Kylo smiling on the bench watching her. Her pause caused him to catch himself as he tried to fix his face.

They were both trying so desperately to pretend like they weren’t enjoying every second of each other's company. Today was the first time they’d ever had a “normal” interaction and the realization washed over them heavily. It had barely been a day and the two had already grown accustomed to the other's presence. The normalcy of it all felt shocking and set off warning alarms in both their heads.

Today was just another example of the complexity of their relationship. A testament to how their external goals conflicted with their true unrevealed personal feelings. The two acted blindly to their own wants, continuing with their shows.

Ren thought when this day came it would have been met with hesitation and strife, but the two carried on as if they’d always known the other. There was something about their interactions that was always met with an energy of familiarity, now that the two finally weren't arguing or trying to kill each other that became even more obvious.

The peculiarity was not lost on Rey either, she knew she shouldn’t get along with her greatest enemy as if he were an old friend but it came so automatically she didn’t know how to combat it. She reminded herself she was here to collect information to destroy the First Order, but why was Ren doing this?

“Really, why are you helping me?" she asked, turning off her saber becoming very aware of a functional weapon being in her hands.

“Your potential is fascinating,” he said quietly. “And ideally I want you to join me.”

She stared at him blankly, “you know I can't do that,” she said tensely.

“I know-” he said softly. “So then why help me? You could have killed me in the cave and knocked out an asset to The Resistance.” She insisted.

“Because, The Resistance isn’t a threat to The First Order at this point. The only hope they have is if a major system decides to rebel and assist them, which we predict is unlikely at this time and means helping you- a personal interest of my own- hardly helps The Resistance’s cause.” He wished he could take the words back as he watched Rey’s face fall.

“So I’m still a nothing nobody to you?” she jabbed back at him. He rolled his eyes and stood up to fight with her “that’s not what I said-” he argued. She laughed at him, “that’s a direct quote!”

“That’s not what I meant in relation to The Resistance- you’re taking my words out of context.” He harped back. “Oh please-” said Rey “enlighten me with context then!”

“All I meant was The Resistance is a lost cause and you are too valuable to go down with that ship” is all he insisted.

The tension released in the room a bit, at least Kylo wasn’t calling her useless. Rey cursed at herself mentally for revealing she was still hung up on when he’d called her a nobody. The two stared at each other, not accustomed to when at the end of an argument still being in the same room as each other. The damn bond was something else they still needed to investigate among many other things.

She’d decided back in her room- she would stay with him. She would use her time here to gather intel on the First Order and Ren to bring back to the Resistance. She wasn’t sure why Ren was so invested in her growth, despite him admitting he had some morbid fascination about her abilities in the force, there was still something missing she didn’t understand. Whatever his reasons it didn’t matter, she would use his training to defeat him, otherwise why was she here?

These justifications she told herself settled the doubts enough to allow her to stay. Rey feared these justifications might be a story she was telling herself because deep down she wanted to be here- reasons unbeknownst to her. She kept searching her feelings on why she would ‘want to be here’ because logic defied any conclusion, so it simply couldn’t be true.

Rey still found herself frustrated at this situation. “We should discuss the terms of my stay here then” she stated, realizing this should have been the first thing they did. She’d been too lost in the excitement of rebuilding her saber to address what was really important. While her presence on the base might have been personal for him it could never be for her.

“Of course,” he said flatly as the illusion of the day going well faded.
She paused for a moment then thoughtfully said “I will not answer any questions regarding The Resistance.”

“Nor will I about The First Order, we will work together only in terms of educating ourselves in the force. I have just as much to learn as you do Rey, our lessons are just different. However, I believe that through whatever connection we share it will reveal to us the answers we seek.” There he went back to formality as a crutch.

Rey sighed “there’s no use denying we are connected through the force. Do you believe Snoke lied about bridging our minds and creating the bond?” She was scared of his response, no matter the answer, she feared the implications.

“He must have, or it would have faded after his death.” They both let out tense sighs, “which is one of the many reasons we must study the force together, in a lifetime of studying both the Jedi and the Sith I’ve never heard of what we have-” he looked at her with deep brown eyes, “it fascinates me.”

Rey felt her stomach twist in knots and a feeling washed over her she couldn’t quite explain, she took a deep breath. “Alright, as long as we swear to only discuss the force with the guarantee I can leave whenever I want… then I will stay until our quest is done.”

Kylo had the worry that these parameters were far too vague and would likely get them into trouble but like the fool he was, he said “I agree.” She had finally confirmed her intention to stay, he was not going to risk scaring her off now.

Silence hung in the air for a moment “what would you like to do now?” He asked her. She smirked a bit, she knew something they could do that always felt right “want to test out my new lightsaber?”

Chapter Text

Kylo and Rey entered the dimly lit training room, it was large with a giant glass window that looked into the forest. She approached the glass admiring the trees; he stood beside her also looking out into the forest. The sun was setting causing a shadow to begin to fall onto the room, if they began their fight now by the time they were done it’d be nightfall. Not that the room didn’t have lights that could just be turned on, but Kylo was so sick of fluorescent lighting, which is why he’d built the place with so many windows.

He walked to the center of the room “would you like to join me?” He taunted. Rey turned her head over her shoulder and smirked at him, only then did he notice the dark green outfit she’d chosen for herself.

He’d had an analysis done over her with footage from Snoke’s destroyed ship, he’d told the analysis it was to put a bounty on her and he wanted as much information as possible so hunters could have an accurate description. The truth is he used the data to order a closet full of clothing for her were she ever to find herself here. He smiled to himself, she looked perfect, he was glad his hard work had paid off.

She sauntered towards him, the setting sun causing a halo of gold to outline her. Completely perfect. She smirked back at him ready to take her frustrations out on him.

Their argument lingered in the air so the two dealt with it the best way they knew how- with the clash of sabers. Ren closed the distance by striking first, he swung hard with a diagonal slash towards her, Rey met his blow with a quick response. She spun away- light and quick on her feet.

She advanced towards him using her momentum to attempt a low strike that he anticipated and dodged. Jumping back he took the chance to aim for an opening near her chest, of course this was only training and they’d yield as soon as the other was in a position to lose.
Rey narrowly avoided the strike, she felt the heat of his blade. The memory of her recent loss clouded her, giving her the fire to begin a series of rapid strikes against him. He gritted his teeth responding to her sudden ambition, he wanted to see just how far he could push her. She was unhinged as she went for a kick to the stomach which he dodged.

“Is that all you got, Rey?” he asked a good distance from her. She let out one of her signature roars and dove towards him with renewed aggression. She aimed for his shoulder, his blade caught hers and they stood in a locked formation. Whenever they caught themselves like this the awareness of how close they were became all they could think about. Especially now that their lives weren’t on the line.

Instead of death the two of them could think about how despite the way Kylo loomed over Rey she continued to be able to hold her own. They thought about the intensity of their closeness and how potent it was pretending it only pertained to their fight. She could feel his breath on her skin, the intensity of his dark eyes. The sun continued to set, and the golden light danced on Kylo's skin in intoxicating ways.

He pushed back at her, using his overwhelming strength to throw her off balance. He noted it was impossible for Rey to combat his physical abilities and must have been unintentionally using the force to hold him back all this time. She was so much stronger in the force than she knew. Rey was pure magic, Kylo realized she must absentmindedly be using the force in ways she wasn't even aware. She was true power, would she ever cease to impress him?

Rey recovered quickly and pivoted to regain her footing. She took the opportunity in his moment of distraction to sweep his leg with a low kick, knocking him to the ground. He landed on the cold metal floor immediately rolling to dodge her saber that surely would have caused him to yield.

He sprung to his feet quickly and attempted a swift overhead strike which she sensed and dodged. They’d once more created distance with each other and Rey pointed her saber at Ren “you still think you can handle teaching me?” Rey taunted, something twisted in Ren’s chest- oh he’d teach her something. The fight returned to him and he lunged at her with fierce momentum.

Their sabers danced and Kylo laughed “oh, there’s still plenty for you to learn Rey, don’t worry..” his voice was low and gravely causing the hair on the back of Rey’s neck to stand. She matched the heat in his gaze with the passion in her own. “Maybe I’ll teach you a lesson in return,” she grunted.

“I’d enjoy that-” he admitted circling her “but you’ll need to stop holding back if you ever want that to happen” he jabbed.

Enraged she charged at Kylo “I. Am. Not. Holding. Back!” she yelled, hitting his saber furiously. He broke out into a wide toothy grin “I know that-” he laughed dodging her attack putting space between them again “you just fight better when you’re angry.”

Rey’s nose flared as she charged him again “you fight better when you concentrate” she called him out. The clash of lightsabers filled the almost dark room with the sound of sharp electric crashing, the sun had set and the only light left to illuminate the room were their sabers. They now relied on their senses to fight. Each strike more intense than the last, the pair was drenched in sweat, their breaths unhinged and ragged, but neither willing to back down yet.

Kylo and Rey's sabers locked once more, Kylo’s caught below Reys. He used this to his advantage, he twisted his wrist in a way which allowed him to push up with his saber against hers making her stumble. She watched as his forceful blow caused the saber to spin from her hands and onto the floor.

He turned off his saber, throwing it to the ground. Instinctively she swung her arm in a defensive strike, Kylo closed the gap between them as he caught her wrist easily pulling her in towards himself. The momentum was too much for them both causing Rey to trip taking Kylo down with her.

Before she could think he had her wrist pinned to the chilled metal floor. His knees dug into her thighs and his head hung close to her own, they’d never been this close before and both Ren and Rey were appalled by the fact that he could pin her wrist down with only one hand, the other hand absentmindedly floated to her side.

“You’ve lost” he panted. Their breaths mingled in the tight space between them and to Rey’s horror she made no move to escape. Something about this position left her perfectly content “I suppose so.” She sighed out. Neither one of them moved, they stayed there as if the fight had an unspoken next step which they were actively preventing themselves from engaging in.

He held her there for an inappropriate amount of time, fighting every urge in his body to not consume her right then and there. He could no longer hide to himself the ways in which he wanted her. The way she looked in the dark room below him filled him with an intensity he needed to run from before it was too late.

He scrambled off of her suddenly like a man in fear. He collected his saber as she stayed on the ground asking herself what had just happened. Ren made his way towards the door “your alarms are pre-set. I will see you early tomorrow for a meditation practice.” With that he exited the room.

In a moment of rage Rey hit the metal ground fiercely to her own harm. A kirffing meditation, it was just Rey’s luck.

Chapter Text

That night Rey got cold feet, she fled from the training facility looking for the exit. Kylo had shown her the door as part of the tour so I didn’t take long for her to find it. As she approached security she realized they might not let her through, the guard looked at her with a concerned face as she demanded to pass. He paused for a moment and retreated to the back of his booth where Rey couldn’t see him.

Rey was shocked as he handed her a badge that was bright silver with big black text that read “MAXIMUM SECURITY.” Then without a word he opened the door for her. She decided wouldn’t question this and ran. Rey went down the dirt path, the air had a sort of chill Rey had never felt before. The massive trees loomed over her touching the sky making her feel incredibly small. Eventually she saw a clearing filled with fog.

She found the Falcon easily despite the dark. It was parked next to Kylo’s ship and what she assumed was his Knights behemoth of a cruiser. Her plan was to leave while she had the chance, before the darkness could continue to creep in. She didn’t know what had just happened but she knew she should have fought it more than she did. She knew now she couldn’t trust herself.

First thing she did was call Finn. It rang for a long moment and she realized quickly she had no idea what to say- she went to hang up- and that's when Finn answered.

“Oh Rey, it’s so good to hear from you. We were all so worried it’s been days. Are you alright? Did you find the flowers? Where are you? Why didn’t you call? When are you-” suddenly his excited rambles were interrupted “Finn let her speak!” Lectured Rose's voice “But seriously what happened, it’s been days and we can't track the Falcon.”

“I’m fine, there's no need to panic. I’m sorry I didn’t check in sooner, I was injured and had to focus on that.” Rey explained, debating if she should tell the full truth.

“How’d you get hurt? Do you need us to retrieve you?” It was Poe. “No no no-” said Rey, the last thing she needed was The Resistance here “I have the Falcon and I have recovered from the injury.”

Rey decided some of the truth wouldn’t hurt. “I fought Ren-” she said in a hushed tone causing a collective gasp on the other end “he was also after the flowers.”

“So you found them?” asked Finn in an anticipated tone.

Rey took a deep breath “I found the flowers-” there were hopeful cheers on the other end. She sighed realizing something- if some flowers they didn’t even understand brought them so much excitement what would genuinely useful intel over the First Order do? She had to stay, she would have to control herself.

“I’m currently using them to gather sensitive information about the inner workings of the First Order. I can’t tell you where I am, or what I’m doing for your own safety, but I promise I’ll make the wait worth it.” She can’t go back now, if she did this would all be for nothing.

“But you beat Kylo Ren?” asked Finn. She scratched the back of her head “Uhhh… in a way.” The other end of the line was filled with mumbles she couldn't understand “you’re safe from him now though?” Questioned Poe in a concerned manner.

Rey thought long and hard before answering “yes, I am.” She wondered why that didn’t feel like a lie. “I have to go now though-” she decided to cut the conversation short before she said something she couldn’t explain away “I promise I’m okay and will report back to you when I can.”

“We trust you Rey!” exclaimed Finn “as worried as we are about you, we know you can protect yourself, and if you say you have it handled we know you’ll make The Resistance proud!”

Rey couldn’t remember wrapping up the conversation. All she could feel was an intense guilt, she was so overwhelmed she couldn’t even make sense of herself. She paced around the Falcon collecting her nerves. "I should stay. I’m Staying. I’m staying." She told herself, everything was so clouded but this statement still felt right. She didn’t know why but she told herself all would be revealed in time.

Rey hadn’t been studying the force for long. However, she understood it well; despite it’s cryptic nature to everyone else felt obvious to her. In hindsight she must have been attuned with it her whole life, there were times she often wondered how she narrowly escaped death on that desert rock. It was often split second intuition that kept her alive. On Jakku, intuition is all a girl had.

It kept her alive then, surely it would keep her alive now. Everything in her screamed now was not the time to leave, she had just tried- and failed. She wanted to believe it was for the good of the cause, not for her own morbid curiosity. Unfortunately, Rey couldn’t tell any more. She reasoned to herself even if she had a personal investment she wasn’t willing to admit to yet, it all was a means to an end and would help The Resistance regardless.

Rey grounded herself accepting this was the road she was on now. As shocking as her current situation was, it was critical to take advantage of it. The exhaustion was starting to hit Rey. She needed to rest, she had a meditation first thing in the morning.

-

He scrambled off of her suddenly like a man in fear. He collected his saber as she stayed on the ground, he asked himself what had just happened. Ren made his way towards the door “your alarms are pre-set. I will see you early tomorrow for a meditation practice.” With that he exited the room.

Kylo had never run so fast in his whole life. He took himself right up that giant staircase right up to his quarters to hide. He laid his head on the door wondering what came over him. But, he knew…

The fluidity of her movements, the fire in her eyes, the way the sunset on her golden skin. He imagined the tight green outfit she wore and the strength of her blows as they fought. Ren had never had a challenger like this before and he was embarrassed to admit the extent to which he enjoyed it.

He was out of his depths this time. Kylo Ren- The Supreme Leader- whose primary objective in his first year of ruling was to find his crush. This was a hyperfixation he couldn’t scratch. Now as the Supreme Leader who was there to stop him? Irony was a cruel joke. The man who has everything except the thing he truly wants. Time and time again he lied to himself that he only wanted her for her power, what a fool he was.

How could he continue her training under his own clouded judgment? He’d ruin her potential just as he’s ruined everything else in his life. He couldn’t stand to- his attention was diverted by his comm going off. “Sir-” it was the door security, Kylo’s heart sank “your guest is leaving the facility, should we stop her?” Despite his sadness he didn’t hesitate “No, let her through.”

He went to lay in his bed miserably. It was over before it even began, all because he was an obsessive idiot. What was he even doing? He had an entire galaxy to run, not to mention an active coup was brewing and he was actively doing nothing to stop it.

Sure what he said about the state of The Resistance was true and at the moment did not feel threatened by their presence. However, if he slipped up as Supreme Leader, not only would he have his own government looking to take his head but the people of the galaxy might decide they’re sick of him as well. It would only take a few sectors of the galaxy to side with The Resistance for it to become game over for not just himself but for The First Order entirely.

Maybe this was for the best, he thought somberly. At this moment he remembered what his Grandfather said to him in the cave: “Learn how man turned to monster- only then can you prevent yourself from meeting my fate.” Was he going down a path he couldn’t save himself from? Perhaps he didn’t understand the man underneath Darth Vader’s mask.

He had been lying in his bed spiraling for an uncertain amount of time when his comm went off again. “Sir, your guest has returned to the facility.” Kylo sat straight up in his bed- she came back? An intense feeling of relief hit him, and suddenly he saw something in the force.

The two paths his grandfather presented him: man and monster. He saw how both existed within himself and how his grandfather was giving him a choice. Kylo just didn’t understand how to make the right one, or which one was the right one. Inevitably time would reveal all, Kylo decided it was time to take a closer look at Darth Vader.

He was raised to not speak of him, to look at him only through the critical lens of The New Republic. Then to look at him through the dogmatic lens of The First Order. What was the truth? He could start tomorrow, he had been sitting on some old meditation recordings of his from when the man still called himself Anakin Skywalker. He wondered if Rey would be interested in those. Either way he’d have to do meditation, he might as well multitask.

And then there was Rey… She didn’t leave, he wondered why she exited the facility. He would need some serious self control now that he accepted his attraction, he almost laughed at how long he’d been lying to himself about it. Ren wouldn’t risk scaring her off again. From here on out it would be strictly training and focusing on his personal projects. The flowers, the history of Vader, stopping the coup. Kylo promised himself that was the priority.

The weariness crept in, he needed to rest. Kylo had a very exciting meditation first thing in the morning. A meditation filled with nothing but education he repeated to himself, a mediation focused on the force, a mediation to become more powerful. Nothing else, nothing else at all, not a single thing else would be on his mind. Just pure focus on the force. Not one kirffing thing could distract him- he was a determined man- he was The Supreme Leader. Not a single intrusive thought could sway him. He would be fine.

However the more he tried to convince himself the more it felt like a lie.

Chapter Text

Kylo sorted through the recovered meditations, they had been found in a restored Jedi database along with millions of hours of other Jedi training footage. Many meditations and lessons had been filmed and archived. Despite the Empire's attempts to destroy any last trace of the Jedi, a significant amount of their history remained. Their reach was far too vast for even a galactic army to erase completely.

Kylo finally settled on a meditation between Anakin and his padawan Ahsoka. It was a focus on impulse control, it was primarily for himself and he hoped Rey wouldn’t pick up on the subtext. It was an older model of recording so it would take some work to get it to play on a modern device. He did his best to focus on the task at hand, it was hard enough rewiring an old system let alone question his relationship with Rey.

Kylo shook his head while he worked, he would be kirffing lucky if she showed up at all. He scolded himself all last night, but he clearly wasn’t finished letting himself have it. He felt so stupid, what was he thinking? He wasn’t- that was the real answer. Zero thoughts went through his head as he pinned her to the ground, it just happened. It could have been forgiven if he’d immediately gotten up, but of course he didn’t. The problem was Rey made no move to escape either, which made it all the more difficult to let her go.

Kylo fixated on his own curiosity. The way he grabbed her waist that night, kriff she was so small under him. It itched at his skin the way he could still feel it. He must have been going crazy; he wished he could purge the wants from his mind. He had to get himself together before-

Rey arrived at the training room. She stood at the door for a moment watching Kylo sit on the floor wiring up the old database to a modern holographic projector. He silently cursed to himself as she walked in. Rey wore a cream colored tightly fit shirt and shorts that highlighted her muscular legs. He was glad he’d picked the meditation over impulse control.

Ever since he’d admitted his attraction for her he’d only found it harder to stop thinking about it. He struggled recognizing all the things he wanted instead of just pushing them down, he noted to himself the effectiveness of bottling his emotions.

Rey saunterned in with a predispositioned attitude. She already didn’t enjoy meditating and now she had to do it with the most distracting man in the world. She sat on her mat and watched him finish setting up. The silence was loud as neither one of them understood how to react to last night's erratic ending.

The training room was filled with early morning light, Kylo had cracked a window allowing in some fresh morning air. It smelled of wood and earth, a hint of light rain lingered from the middle of the night. It was somewhat chilly but that was fine as it would keep them awake and aware.

Eventually Kylo spoke, “good morning.” Rey shuffled on her mat “good morning” she replied. The two stared at each other for a long moment not knowing what to do with themselves. Kylo looked down at his own outfit, it was similar to the one he greeted her in once she had awoken from her injuries. He felt exposed even though it was just his arms and some of his chest. He supposed she had already seen him shirtless that one time.

“What is our meditation over?” Rey questioned. “Impulse control” mumbled Kylo, Rey looked at him with a confused expression “what’d you say?” Kylo suppressed rolling his eyes “Impulse control!” He stated loudly. Rey, now understanding his words, still gave him a puzzled stare “why?”

Kylo was smart; he'd thought up an excuse, a pretty good one in his opinion. “It’s your primary downfall when in combat, you lost last night for that very reason. Think about how easily provoked you were and how that led up to your losing mistakes.” Kylo said smugly, everything he was saying was true- making him feel like a good teacher, but also covered his tracks.

Rey huffed “Ironic coming from you..” they glared at each other for a moment “you know there’s a lot of rumors about you floating around. Breaking consoles out of rage? Choking out officers? Maybe you’re the one who needs a lesson in impulse control.” Oh how right she was, it was smart witted moments like this that made Kylo’s stomach churn the most. She became so tempting every continued second she kept telling him off.

Ren pressed his lips together “then it will be a valuable lesson to us both.” He said walking to the mat beside hers and sitting. “Now lets go over the context of the meditation” he stated.

“Context?” Rey asked.

“Yes, we will be doing a meditation given by Anakin Skywalker originally intended for his padawan.”

Rey looked at him with curiosity “why are we doing that?”

“So that I can also join you in meditation and not have to guide you myself” he stated as if it were obvious.

She reached out and lightly hit him “Not that- why would we listen to advice from Anakin Skywalker.”

Kylo gave her a baffled look “because he’s one of the most powerful force users to ever exist? He has the highest Midichlorian count of all time. He was unmatched-” Rey cut him off “You keep using that word- Meda- Medecho? What does that mean?”

Kylo was under the assumption that this was something she understood. He felt validated in his claims his mother was a poor teacher, if his late uncle had stuck around long enough he’s sure Rey would have learned about them eventually.

“Mid-i-chlo-ri-ans” he emphasized its pronunciation “are a microscopic intelligent organism that lives within the cells of all living things. They serve as a conduit for the force, the higher the midichlorian count the stronger the connection to the force. For example: I have a very high midichlorian count, presumably you do as well. The ‘force flowers’ as you call them have the highest recorded count of any non-sentient organism.”

Rey took in the information carefully “and because Anakin was so connected to the force we should listen to him despite him turning into the Empire’s enforcer?” Rey was genuinely asking, if she was going to learn anything from Kylo she had to understand where he was teaching from.

“In a sense-” said Kylo “this recording was taken during the Clone Wars right before the Rebellion on Onderon. So he was still loyal to the light at this time, of course he obviously had potential for darkness but that's besides the point- what matters is his control over the force. No matter what side he was rooted in he had immense control over his powers, regardless of his motives his control is something we can strive for.”

Rey felt settled enough with this to do the meditation in good conscience. She was also just curious to get a good look at the legendary Darth Vader before his fall. She pushed down the curiosity of if he bore resemblance to his grandson.

“So the Rebellion of Onderon, what do you know about it?” asked Kylo. Rey scoffed “Nothing- why would I know about that?” She chose not to mention that she didn’t even know where Onderon was, let alone the political history. Kylo shook his head “to understand history is to understand the movements of the force as an entity. How else do you connect to it?” asked Kylo.

Rey thought for a moment “well I just feel it in the moment. I see it in front of me, how it connects everything and we are all one. It just is and I can reach it at any time by just being. How do you connect with it?” Rey asked.

Kylo took in Rey’s words, he enjoyed understanding her better. Her connection to the force was so intuitive and natural. In a way he envied her, his understanding of the force was much more logical. “I learn all I can about it. If I can understand it I can control it. If I find it was possible in the past then there is no reason for it not to be possible now.”

The two absorbed each other's processes. Both were baffled again to find the way they mirrored each other. The more they got to know each other the more it exposed their natural synchronicity. It was as if they were designed to learn from one another.

“So for this meditation…?” Rey asked, attempting to get them back on track. “Right-” said Kylo “ the planet Onderon was under the control of the Separatists. The rightful ruler, King Ramsis Dendup, was overthrown by King Sanjay Rash, a puppet leader backed by the Separatists.
To restore their freedom, a group of rebels, led by Steela Gerrera, her brother Saw Gerrera, and Lux Bonteri, fought to take back their planet. The Republic, unable to intervene directly, sent Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Captain Rex to train the rebels in guerrilla warfare.
Through a series of skirmishes and battles, the rebels gained strength and support from the people of Onderon. Steela emerged as a capable leader, but in the final battle, she tragically died. Despite her loss, the rebels managed to defeat the Separatists, restore King Dendup to power, and liberate Onderon. This rebellion was a key event in the rise of Saw Gerrera, who later became a prominent figure.”

Rey listened patiently wondering how this could possibly be important for her to know. She didn’t recognize over half of those names and couldn’t understand how the interworking of the Old Republic was going to help her impulses. She was quickly finding out Kylo Ren was a huge nerd. She didn’t mind his giddy history ramblings necessarily but also knew it wasn’t helping her understand the force any better. “So, I need to know this for what reason?”
Kylo sighed “this meditation was given to Anakin’s padawan Ahsoka Tano in attempts to help her control her impulses to directly help in the Onderon Rebellion. She was instructed to advise but not allowed to directly help due to Republic law. Understanding the stakes is important, think about how hard that must have been for Ahsoka. If the rebellion began to fail she was instructed to watch the rebels die.”

Rey was surprised by his empathy but still confused. Kylo stared back at her realizing she still didn’t understand. He put it plainly “if Ahsoka could control herself under these dire circumstances then we can during training.” He straightened his posture, “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Kylo was lost to the irony of his words, but at least it finally clicked for Rey.

Sensing her understanding he began the meditation. He clicked the start button, they watched as the blue holograms appeared in front of them. Anakin was tall and handsome with wavy locks and a muscular build, he did in fact resemble his grandson, Rey noted. He held a serious expression on his face as he circled a petite Togruta, who Rey assumed was Ahsoka, as she sat on the floor in a crossed legged position similar to Rey and Kylo.

“Ground yourself Ahsoka-” said Anakin, his voice was deep and velvety, another attribute he shared with Kylo that Rey fought to ignore. “Now close your eyes.” Rey and Kylo followed along “as you breathe deeply I want you to set an intention. Tell yourself ‘I cultivate awareness to pause before I act,’ say ‘I choose thoughtful responses over impulsive reactions’ as you tell yourself this see if any tension builds in your body, where does that tension arise? Think about it for a moment.”

For Rey she felt the tension in her forehead has her brow furrowed. Her impulsivity often came at her frustration for results, or feeling undermined. Kylo felt it in his stomach like a deep rage, the fear of loss driving his impulsivity. Suddenly the holographic Ahsoka spoke “I feel it in my heart.”

There was a deep sadness in her voice. “Why do you feel it there? What about your heart drives your impulses?” Ahsoka thought for a long moment before answering “fear. Fear that someone I care about will be hurt.” The holographic Anakin stopped in his tracks, “Lux Bonteri?” He asked, Rey suddenly became grateful for Kylo’s ramble because now she at least recognized that name.

“Yes…” answered Ahsoka with a tinge of guilt in her voice. It seemed like there was a hesitation to Anakin’s response. Finally after a long moment and a sigh he said “Romantic attraction is not forbidden by the Jedi, only an attachment to it.” Both Rey and Kylo’s stomachs dropped, what were the kirffing odds? Kylo suddenly wished he had checked the tape before playing it, he’d only read the description which labeled the people in the holo, the time period, location, and lesson.

“The Jedi code does not explicitly forbid intimacy, only the development of attachment is forbidden. The Jedi understand we are biological organisms, it’s what gives us our connection to the force, so do what you must as long as you commit yourself to your purpose above all.” Explained Anakin.

The tension in the room suddenly became intense as Kylo and Rey internalized his words. Kylo deeply wished to turn the holo off but sat still in fear of giving himself away. If it was going to be hard to focus before it is going to be impossible now. Rey didn’t like the implications of this at all, it opened far too many loopholes in her mind. Kylo tried to focus and told himself while this holo was unfortunate it was exactly the advice he needed.

The meditation continued on and Kylo and Rey listened to the pair discuss loyalties and war. It had to have been some sort of cosmic joke. As the meditation reached its silent reflection portion all Kylo and Rey could think about was that Kylo Ren’s grandfather had pretty much just given them permission to go at each other as long as they promised to themselves not to turn on their respective sides. It was the most unproductive meditation they’d ever experienced, not only that- they were far worse off than when they began.

Anakin began wrapping up the meditation “remember Ahsoka you must visualize yourself physically pausing before making a decision. Visualize the pause and integrate it into life, only when you feel a decision is totally right, then act on it.” With that the holograph flickered out.

Kylo and Rey sat in stunned silence, what a perverse outcome.

Chapter Text

The silence lasted for an eternity. Rey and Kylo could feel themselves thinking about each other. Not only that, they knew what the other was thinking. Last night's tussle finally came into clarity for Rey the way it had for Ren earlier. Her intense efforts to push down her hidden desires were failing spectacularly.

“That’s not what I thought the holo would be about” Ren stated awkwardly. Rey had no response to that, at least he seemed genuinely surprised. They both were vaguely mortified. The force could be a mighty tool, but it could also be a sick joke. As force users they could both literally feel each other's intense reaction to the holo, the implications were heavy.

Kylo fought in his mind to rectify the situation. However he began to wonder instead of solving the problem should he lean into it? If there ever was proof of a sign this would be it. From the reaction Rey’s energy had to the holo it was clear she was affected by Anakin's words. Perhaps in a way that implied Kylo just might have a chance… He tried not to get his hopes up.

Rey on the other hand began spinning. She thought back to something Rose told her once in good jest, “there’s no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk.” Rey deeply hoped that applied to the present because her thoughts were LOUD. Memories of the night before flooded her system. How heavy he felt holding her down, the way she could feel his breath on her neck, and the devious need for more.

“Do you want to continue?” Kylo asked cautiously. If he hadn’t already given her enough of a reason to leave yesterday he certainly was now. “Sure…” her response was filled with hesitation. So they just weren’t going to address the bantha in the room? Fine by her. Even though the situation reeked of cowardliness from both sides it was easier to move forward without discussion.

“I have planned a history lesson,” said Kylo, still plagued by discomfort “another history lesson?” complained Rey. Ren threw a hand up in defense “it’s important for working with the energy of the planet!”

Rey looked at him with hesitation. “Endor energetically holds powerful energy, it’s the last celestial body Darth Vader ever walked.” Rey perked up at this information. “It’s where Luke Skywaker cremated him-” Kylo continued “so I was hoping we could take a walk to that sight. Feel the energy, see what we can learn?” There was almost a child-like eagerness to Ren that Rey had never experienced before, how was she supposed to say no?

Kylo held the door open for her as they exited the base and began walking into damp forest. It had rained during the night causing the air to be thick with moisture. Rey found the humidity comfortable; it was cool and refreshing. She much preferred it to Ajan Kloss’s intense and stifling climate.

The fog was thick and still rays of sunlight occasionally danced through, lighting the moss floor and casting long, towering shadows. The forest had a timelessness about it. Rey began understanding that it held secrets; she felt lucky that she stood next to someone willing to reveal them to her.

She was astonished by the ancient trees' beauty, she found herself scanning the area with wide eyes as they walked down the mossy dirt path. The trunks' colossal size impressed Rey, she paused at a particularly massive tree for a moment wondering how any living thing could be so towering.

It was as if he read her mind. “A tree this size can be anywhere between 2,000 and 5,000 years old” he told her. She turned her head watching him speak “they’re so large due to a combination of ideal environmental conditions, unique biological adaptations, and resilience.”

Rey smiled at him, something about this man was so amusing to her. Sure he was the Supreme Leader, so she assumed he’d be educated. However, here he was giving her tree facts. “How do you know that?” she asked.

“I was obsessed with the Battle of Endor as a kid. It had such a profound impact on my family's lives. As a child it was strange having school books cover something that affected my parents and uncle so personally. The books and stories covered it all… in just about the most intense detail imaginable. Even the trees they walked past.” Kylo’s voice was distant as if he were trapped in a memory.

Rey continued to look at him in fascination. “I think there is such a thing as knowing too much,” sighed Kylo. Rey felt a twinge in her chest “and too little.” She said emphatically, gazing at him. His face fell a bit “my apologies.” He muttered, running his hand through the back of his hair and walking forward.

Rey moved swiftly, catching up to him, bewildered to just have had the Supreme Leader of the galaxy guiltily apologize to her for his insensitivity. She touched his shoulder absentmindedly “that's not what I meant,” she said in a soft low tone. “I just mean I understand the loneliness of it all.”

He stared at her with some sort of shocked nervous look and paused before saying “it was lonely.” They gazed at each other for a long time, eventually they began walking again in silence. Rey took in the sounds of the forest, the hum of bugs and the occasional bird call. Ren took notice of his anxious emotions. He wanted to speak but struggled to find the words. He couldn’t recall the last time someone took interest in how he felt about something.

Rey wished when he spoke he didn’t make as much sense as he often did. She always felt from the very beginning- since the interrogation, that there was a sort of innate sadness to Ren that she could understand and relate to. She could feel it in the space between them as if it were her own. Moments like this made her remember why she took a chance on trusting him.

When they were apart, logic helped her stay away. But in moments of confronting him… that was a different story. She watched him walk, wondering what he was thinking. He was clearly lost in thought by the way he furrowed his brow. It was strange how deeply he cared about things. The Resistance painted him as an emotionless machine, but when she was next to him she could feel that wasn’t the truth. He was a confusing enigma that she needed to understand.

After the long stretch of silence they reached a wide stream. “We can cross on this fallen log-” Kylo pointed out “but be careful it’ll be slippery from the rain.” Rey found another moment of amusement in this statement. Kylo went across the log first, the end of the stump was large and would require a small leap to reach the ground- nothing Rey couldn’t handle. She watched Kylo jump down and wait for her at the end.

His dark eyes watched her carefully cross, as if that somehow would prevent her from slipping. He’d had the thought that on Jakku she’d probably never dealt with rain before, meaning she’s probably not used to dealing with slippery surfaces. It made him vaguely nervous watching her cross and he was glad he warned her beforehand.

When she reached the end of the stump Rey found Kylo offering his hand to help her down. She took it and leaped from the log to the ground. Rey smiled at him, letting go of his hand continuing their walk.

“How is your wound?” he asked, gazing at her side. He walked with his hands behind his back in a sort of proper way that Rey found entertaining. “Fine, I’ve had little pain, just some odd numbness. It looks like it will leave a large scar though.” Rey said without much of an opinion, she was impressed with the life she’s lived that was the most serious injury she’d ever faced.

“I much regret you getting hurt in that fight, it was not my intention,” Kylo said sadly, “I’m sorry it will leave a scar.” There he went apologizing again, Rey’s confusion continued. However, she took it as a good sign. “It’s alright-” she said “I suppose it’s pay back for the one I gave you.” Rey said, gesturing to his face feeling a bit of guilt herself.

He touched his face for a moment lost in thought. “Well, I suppose I should thank you actually-” Kylo said in a teasing tone. “For what?” Rey asked bewildered. “I think it’s quite frightening, makes for a threatening Supreme Leader.” As Kylo said this he made a series of faces as if posing for some portrait or poster. To this Rey did laugh, stars she wished he wasn’t so likable. What type of man stood before her? To joke that he was happy with the permanent disfigurement she’d given him.

Kylo knew he was playing up his charm. He couldn’t help it, he so desperately wanted to charm her. He hoped she was genuinely amused and didn’t think he was being foolish. He was lucky enough she was staying, so maybe he shouldn’t ruin his chances by wishing she enjoyed his company as well.

They both took note of their naturalness. It seemed no matter how hard they tried they were destined to connect in some form. Kylo felt grateful Rey stopped fighting him on simply getting along in moments like this. Rey on the other hand felt nervous at the amount of joy she was experiencing from their simple talks.

“This way” motioned Kylo turning down a more narrow path. After a long moment down the trail they finally came upon a large stone, on it was written:
Anakin Skywalker
41 BBY - 4 ABY

They stood in silence taking the scene in. The ground looked recently tended, the looming trees around them whispered a mournful tune in the wind. Rey felt a deeply intense energy within the force that resonated potently. Pain, power, a mix of love and devotion, along with a deep sense of grief and regret. The energy was compelling, the energy reminded her of Kylo.

Ren hadn’t been back here since his vision. It was even more intense than the time he’d been here previously. Without a shadow of a doubt the man from his vision was Vader. The energy the figure radiated was a scarier, more intense version of what he felt now. His grandfather continued to confuse him. Who was Darth Vader? Who was Anakin Skywalker? Who was this man outside of his history?

“What makes you want to be like him?” asked Rey, not diverting her eyes from the grave. Kylo shook his head “it’s not a want, it’s my destiny, it’s my legacy.” Rey turned to look at him with confusion “how could this be your legacy-” she asked gesturing to the stone “your uncle's legacy wasn’t this darkness, why does it have to be yours?”

Kylo answered plainly “because his legacy was destroying The Empire.” Rey’s confusion was even more real now “I don’t understand” is all she said. “This is how I interpret it-” there was vastness to how he spoke, “Darth Vader… Anakin Skywalker was the chosen one. He was born to bring balance to the force, people can’t see the truth though, they believe balance was to be created within his lifetime. But, they’re wrong.”

Rey had heard this prophecy- who hadn't? It was confusing and people told it in many ways, but primarily they believed when Darth Vader killed The Emperor to save his son balance was restored. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“He was just the beginning, he began paving the way for balance. It is my job to uphold that legacy, it has nothing to do with darkness inherently. The dark side of the force just happened to be the tool he needed to destroy the senate and the jedi. They were corrupt, and held far too much power. He wiped the slate clean.” The seriousness grew in every word he spoke, Rey could tell this was something Kylo deeply believed to be true.

“Anakin became Darth Vader in order to kill the past, but there was one problem.” Kylo tensed, he nearly shuddered. Something about uttering this man's name felt so inherently wrong. He was the monster under his bed as a child, he may just be the root of all evil. “Palpatine.” He uttered the name like a curse. “My uncle had to redeem Vader, because Vader had to kill that man. The Emperor was a plague to the universe who only strove for unlimited power. To truly bring balance to the force all three had to be gone- the senate, the jedi, and the sith. Darth Vader started the long journey to heal the galaxy, now I continue that quest. Finish it- if I can.”

Rey felt lost in his words “but if he destroyed the things bringing the galaxy out of balance why is it still unbalanced?” She could tell Kylo had a point- he always did. She just couldn’t understand it yet.

“After Vader’s death the galaxy tried to rebuild the senate, but they never considered the reasons it failed in the first place. They learned nothing from history. As quickly as they rebuilt The Senate it fell. Snoke- who was a Palptine loyalist, gathered what was left of The Empire and turned it into The First Order. The purpose of Vader was to destroy the old way to give birth to the new. Can’t you see it, Rey?” He gestured widely while making his point, the passion filled his voice as he recited his beliefs.

“See what?” she asked nervously. “This is just the transition phase, and everything has a purpose. Vader to rid of the senate and Jedi, Luke to convince him to rid of the sith, my mother to rebuild the senate so it’d fail again, all to be handed to me to see the truth. A new galaxy must be built.”

Rey approached him carefully and grabbed his two hands, holding them tightly. “Kylo… Ben-” she said intimately “you believe your grandfather had to destroy the old corrupt ways so that peace could start growing. You believe in Vader’s redemption, so then why rule The First Order the way you do? You said it yourself, it was born from The Empire, how can this possibly lead to balance?”

Kylo squeezed her small hands, tracing circles on them with his thumb. He ignored the usage of his old name, not thinking too long on how he felt when she spoke it so softly. “Neither the Empire nor The First Order had a chance under their previous rulers. Vader was never set in his lifetime to fix, only to destroy. I can use the military he built to enforce peace. I can knock down all remaining corruption and achieve what The Senate dreamed of with the power I hold now. The Senate will never be strong or cohesive enough to achieve what is necessary.”

Rey dropped his hand and walked away in frustration. “But what are you doing to really help the people of the galaxy?” She began remembering her childhood, the myriad of times she almost died as a kid without a helping hand in sight. “Corruption has been rampant my whole life, how are the children of the galaxy supposed to sleep safe under your rule as The Supreme Leader.” She was testing him, she wanted to see the light shine through.

“What do you think my infrastructure bill was for?” he offered. She laughed at him a bit “The stationed light-speed tracking technology? How is preventing The Resistance from moving about the galaxy helping children?” she jeered. Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose “this is where you lack clarity. That bill is being used to stop traffickers and cartels. I have single handedly halted inter-planetary organized crime, now I can send troops down to find the leaders of these gangs and stop their tyranny. It’s not about The Resistance, you all make it about yourselves and refuse to acknowledge the good that’s begun because it’s not being executed the way you wish.”

For a moment Rey found herself too stunned to speak. “I will admit I hadn’t looked at it that way. But at the end of it all the problem lies within the corruption that comes along with absolute power. Even if you could be trusted with it there’s no way to ensure the one who follows you can be.”

“I don’t have everything worked out- alright. Do you propose I sit around and do nothing? All I am trying to achieve right now is stability, once that has been reached then this conversation becomes relevant.” Huffed Kylo.

They stood in annoyance glaring at each other, they’d reached an impasse. Rey wanted to go back to their pleasant forest walk. She realized she had so much more she needed to learn about Kylo Ren. His plan- if it was the truth- seemed to have good intent. She still believed one person having absolute power was fundamentally wrong, but how could she argue with his end goal?

“When Snoke first took me in he desecrated Anakin's grave.” He looked down at the patch of land filled with mixed emotions, ever since he’d begun his residence on Endor he'd been having his staff tend the grounds. “Snoke dug up his skull and told me to meditate on it. I never heard my grandfather's voice, now I look at this grave knowing there’s a body with no head.”

Rey was relieved to have a change of topic despite the darkness of the subject. “Perhaps you can return it now?” She felt uncomfortable as she thought of a young Ben Solo being forced to look and meditate on his dead grandfather's skull. Rey continued to ponder, it was impressive despite everything he’d been through there was any light left in him at all. She remembered why she was here, perhaps helping the resistance meant also helping Kylo Ren.

“Can you return him to this resting place?” she asked. He was standing in front of her now, she watched his shoulder drop “I’d like to…” he sighed “it’s on my ship, perhaps I will retrieve it next time I go back.”

There was something so hollow in his voice. This meant so much more to him than just setting things right, it was a representation of his past, of everything that made Ben Solo Kylo Ren. The heaviness filled the atmosphere as Kylo fought a war within himself. The weight of the entire galaxy upon his shoulders, it was something Rey could relate to.

Without a justification to herself she approached him from behind and held him. One of her arms wrapped around his, she pressed her head softly on his back and breathed deeply. One of her hands began to draw circles on his shoulder. She was so short next to him, she wondered what she was doing, all she knew was that she didn’t want to see him be sad. It all made her intensely emotional, and she could feel the storm on his emotions begin to stir.

He softened under her touch, and for a moment they both truly relaxed. They’d been starved all their lives for this type of intimacy, and nothing before had ever felt so right. The pair sank into each other, silencing the static in their brains. They reached a level of calm that meditation never achieved.

They stood this way for what felt like forever. Rey didn’t want to let go, and Kylo kept hoping she’d hold on. The birds sang and as the sun continued to rise the forest grew brighter. As the pair stood intertwined something shifted in the force, they both felt it. A choice had been made, emotions that laid dormant for decades began to see the light of day.

Kylo Ren and Rey both finally accepted that this was just the beginning.

Chapter Text

Chapter Fifteen

Neither one was sure who let go first. They had stayed that way for so long, the energy had felt too right. It was a comfort easy to get lost in. A feeling so peaceful not even the anxieties crept in, it was a moment the pair would long for after it ended.

The walk back was nearly silent, only broken by random facts about the forest Kylo would add every once in a while as they passed interesting things. Rey didn’t speak much, only to ask questions based on the facts he was sharing. The walk was nice. It seemed that their moment of intimacy was lingering on them.

The voices in their noisy brains were both silent for once. No worries of what The Resistance would think of Rey’s actions and true motives. No fears of if the Supreme Leader was wasting precious time. No doubt of if their companion wanted to be in their presence. This force connection was like a drug. When in harmony the two felt peaceful and alive- even if they weren’t able to fully recognize it. All they knew was this moment should continue.

As they approached the base Rey sighed “I’m hungry now…” It seemed like Rey was always hungry. Less so now than on Jakku - however, The Resistance hadn’t been providing any five-star meals.

Her mind wandered back to the boxed dinner that had been served to her room the night before. Kylo’s kitchen staff had brought it to her after she returned from the Falcon. It was some meat and vegetables she didn’t recognize. That didn’t stop her though, Rey wasn’t one to turn down a meal. To her surprise it was absolutely delicious. She ate it so quickly and was disappointed to find it gone so fast.

She found herself in the same situation with breakfast. It was some sort of link protein that was savory. Along with that her drink was a bright pink color and deliciously sweet. She had also been given some toast which she was annoyed was also significantly better than the toast back on base. Little to say, her mind was blown. But, after the long walk she was more than ready to eat again.

“I can have lunch sent to your room if you’d like,” Kylo offered, a little sad that the day was coming to an early end. He opened the door for her and they entered the training room together. Rey paused with confusion, “are we done for today?” She asked with hope he would say no.

Kylo began to ramble, “well I have some tests I need to run over the flowers. Discussions with the lab staff on how to proceed. I really should delegate who’s-” Rey cut him off “you’re not going to eat?” she asked. He shrugged “I was going to grab a protein shake before the lab-” she cut him off again “but what about my training?” Rey demanded placing a hand on her hip. She was getting hangry.

Kylo’s stomach fluttered at the sight of her, something about her ill temper twisted his stomach in knots. He stuttered for a moment “well- I thought we’d ease into lessons. Also, give me time to figure out the flowers… and for you to recover from your injury more…” she glared at him disapprovingly.

“Whatever.” She said exiting the training room. His jaw dropped at the sight of her sauntering away from him. What was this woman's problem? He thought a light-loaded lesson would be a good first step, not too overwhelming, he was looking out for her comfort. What could she possibly be so annoyed about?

After standing like a fool in the training room alone for a prolonged second, he finally raced after her. “Well what would you like to do, Rey?” He asked insistently. Right as Kylo felt like he’d finally figured her out she became confusing again. She pivoted on her heels catching him off guard causing them to nearly bump into each other.

They stood close and she looked up at him with her snarkiest attitude “I’d like to know the direction of our training, I’d like to know more about the flowers, I'd like to know the details on-” now he cut her off “fine!” He exclaimed. “I will have both of our lunches sent up to my private dining chambers and we will discuss whatever you please. I suppose I will just reschedule my meetings.” Kylo sighed.

He grumbled to himself as they walked towards his chambers. With just the simplest of words and the slightest bit of attitude she could rearrange his entire day. Rey looked pleased with herself as they walked. She acknowledged to herself that was a bit dramatic, but what else was she supposed to do? She didn’t want the day to end so soon, and she did have all these questions that needed to be answered anyways…

Rey followed Kylo up the wide staircase to an obscenely large metal door with no handle. He held his hand out and summoned the force to unlock the door triggering a loud clicking sound. Rey didn’t ask how it worked but her curiosity was ignited only for it to be snuffed out as she realized she was entering Kylo Ren’s private chambers, hearing the door click shut behind her.

The thought crossed her mind that she was now in the living quarters of her greatest enemy, behind doors only he could unlock, and she felt perfectly safe. She didn’t know what was scarier, her actual situation or that fact she didn’t hold any fear for her safety. That wasn’t to say she didn’t feel her stomach churn at the reality of Kylo Ren’s bedroom being down the hall.

They entered into a long narrow foyer that led into a sleek sitting room. All in black were high ceilings and circular archways on all four walls with a door in the center of each of them. Facing the entryway was a wide couch that looked heavily cushioned and very comfortable. The couch was a light gray with beige pillows and a blanket. In front of it was a rounded low table with a couple of random gadgets thrown onto it. Rey was surprised to find it quite inviting.

Kylo walked to the left past the living room and held the door open for Rey. She stood at the entryway for a moment taking everything in until she realized he was waiting for her. She smiled meekly following after him.

Rey entered into the large stone dining room, it was beautiful. The rounded archways faced out with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the forest. In the center was a stone dining table with placemats ready and goblets meant to be filled. Rey went to gaze out the window as Kylo approached a holo-pad on the wall and began requesting both their meals be served to his chambers.

He sat down and watched her enjoying herself for a long moment before finally speaking. “What do you want to know about your training?” He asked, watching her turn to look at him. Rey gazed over her shoulder pulling herself from the wonder of the forest. “Well what’s the plan?” She questioned joining him at the table.

“First I wish to broaden our understanding of the foundation of the force through meditation and studying the past-” he explained as Rey nodded and listened. “We began that today, but we should reflect on what we discussed and integrate it into our physical training tomorrow. Speaking of physical training I would love to review some forms with you that you may be unfamiliar with.”

Rey perked up “what forms?” she asked excitedly. “Djem So-” Kylo responded “it’s a fluid form that requires great strength, but I believe you’re more than capable,” He complimented. Rey smiled at him. “It requires quick transitions between defensive stances to all-out attacks. It utilizes a reverse blade grip that I think would suit your energy well in combat.”

Rey seemed content with this answer “and the flowers?” She asked. He answered, “I originally read about them in some old text and felt called to them, I’m not sure how their qualities enhance a force user's abilities which is why I need to do some continued test on them-”

“So you don’t fully understand them either?” she asked. Kylo shook his head “I only know that I could feel them reaching out to me.” Rey sighed, it had been the same for her. She used it as another confirmation that she was on the right path.

“What do you believe we’re supposed to do with them?” she asked, this led to Kylo rambling on about a myriad of theories for a long time. She was fully absorbed in his words, his knowledge of the force was so vast and technical. Just sitting here listening to him speak was teaching her more than three entire days with Luke.

It wasn’t just the information that drew Rey in, everything about how this man spoke was so endearing to her. Kylo spoke with great enthusiasm about the possibilities of the Medi-Flowers properties, like it genuinely excited him to be studying this rare force item. It seemed more like a fun hobby to him rather than a tool to gain power. Which surprised Rey and made his character all that much more confusing.

Rey was even more entertained by just how long Kylo could ramble for. She acknowledged that he probably didn’t have anyone else to share this with so he was taking advantage of her presence and participation in the conversation. She was more than happy to, in moments like this the light was so obvious in him. It radiated without him even being aware. She knew if she was patient and played her cards right he would turn soon enough. It was such a relief to feel like it was acceptable to be enjoying his company, which she was just starting to admit to herself she truly was.

After a long time of listening to Kylo enthusiastically explain every possibility of how the microorganism in the medi-flowers hypothetically thrive, a dinging sound came from a panel in the wall.

Kylo walked over and opened it to find the two meals and a sizable pitcher. He set Rey’s meal down in front of her first then grabbed his own with the pitcher. Rey’s jaw dropped at the stunning meal. On the plate was a giant slab of steak that marbled between white fat and deep red meat. Its surface glistened with a rich brown char to complete it. Paired with the steak were vibrant vegetables that looked perfectly sauteed and a large mound of fried rice that was garnished with small green leaves.

As Kylo filled her goblet with a deep maroon drink she took in the wonderful aroma. The mouthwatering savory scent overwhelmed Rey, she’d never seen a more appetizing meal in her entire life. It genuinely took everything in her to not destroy the entire plate that very moment.

The only thing that steadied her was the desire to not look a fool in front of Ren. He sat down gracefully and began cutting into his meal. Kylo was surprised as he raised his goblet to his lips and drank, it was wine. What was his kitchen staff thinking? It was midday, however looking at the meal he ordered to be prepared for them Kylo could understand how they assumed. He drank it anyway to calm his nerves as he realized he was having a meal with Rey.

Nervously she cut at her steak almost fearful of what it would taste like. Rey lifted the fork to her mouth and finally took a bite- her eyes rolled into the back of her head, it was the greatest thing she ever tasted in her life. The meat melted in her mouth. It was rich and buttery, perfectly seasoned in a way Rey had never experienced before. The vegetables were just as intriguing, a sweet contrast that had a delightful crunch. She was thoroughly enjoying herself.

At some point Kylo became aware of the silence. He looked up amused to see Rey demolishing her meal, he sat back for a moment sipping his wine to watch. The flavor of dark berries, subtle oak, and a hint of spice warmed his belly as he drank. He appreciated Rey’s enthusiasm, it was quite cute.

A statement like that was something Ren could admit to himself while drinking. He accidentally drank a glass already, he was a large man so it was not affecting him yet by any means, still he’d use it to justify his intrusive thoughts. Eventually she looked up at him embarrassed- which he also found cute.

“It’s very good…” she said looking up at him blushing. She finally took a sip from her cup, she’d recognize it as wine after a moment. It was a heavy wine unlike the cheap things she’d experienced back on base. She’d only begun drinking recently once she met Finn, Poe, and Rose. Soldiers had a way of partying and celebrating the little victories, and Rey wanted more than anything to fit in, so she’d join in on a drink or two when offered. She never drank on Jakku though. She’d seen how alcohol turned men into terrible monsters. Rey wondered what wine turned Kylo Ren into.

Rey drank slowly knowing she could only handle so much. She watched as he poured his second glass. She wondered what universe she was in where she was dining with Kylo Ren so casually and eating the best meal of her life.

Kylo suddenly realized he had been speaking the entire lunch. How could he be so rude? But what could he even ask Rey without putting her in a situation of having to reveal Resistance secrets. He wanted to ask if she was enjoying her time here but her answer to that question made him nervous. Thankfully she spoke.

“What type of meat is this?” Rey asked, still digging in. “Oh, it’s a Vothari. They’re a bovine species hailing from the lush landscapes of Gliese Prime.” He answered not finding much interest in the topic.

Rey was feeling more relaxed from the wine. “Before I joined the resistance I never really ate meat before, it used to make me so sick” she casually mentioned. Kylo looked at her concerned “what do you mean?” He asked.

Rey tilted her head as if she was remembering “well, on Jakku there wasn’t anything to eat besides rations. I guess my stomach couldn’t handle the transition at first, but it’s fine now. I’ve really enjoyed trying so many different foods since then.” She said all this as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

He hated the idea of her all alone. On that dusty junk planet with nothing but flour-protein rations to keep her alive. It filled Kylo with a sort of protectiveness. He wanted to feed her everyday and show her all the incredible meals the galaxy had to offer. If she stayed he would, he desperately wanted to say this to her but didn’t know how. He thought back on when he asked her to join him. This is what he meant by that, he just didn’t understand it until now.

Kylo fiddled with his napkin not knowing what to say. He watched her finish up her drink. There was so much to discover about each other. Both were needy for the answers but were doing their best not to reveal it. Kylo stood up and walked to the holo-pad and dialed an order into it.

When he walked back over he watched Rey pour herself another cup. She was now on her second and he was on his third; the atmosphere was becoming too comfortable. The two of them tended to behave stupidly around each other when perfectly sober, the combination of that and wine was surely going to get them into trouble.

They talked for a bit longer about essentially nothing. It was nice though, no arguments, no discussions of policy, not even of the force. They talked of the weather, of how the base was built, and Rey teased him on the black color pallet for his living room which Kylo defended, “looked cool.” They laughed a bit and smiled at each other like old friends. As their laughter died they caught each other's eyes and stared at one another.

Rey admired his strong features and dark eyes, how his hair fell and framed his face so nicely. The way the sun shined on him through the window made her remember he was a prince once. She reflected back on a holo-book Rose had loaned her a while back about a prince, she wondered if he ever behaved like the prince in Rose’s book.

Kylo studied her right back, her hazel eyes and the flecks of gold in them. Her sun kissed skin and all the freckles that dotted her face and arms and collarbones and neck… he wanted to touch her so badly. Her hair looked soft, as did her lips. He wondered if he’d be able to taste the wine from them if he-

The dinging sound rang from the panel, breaking the moment. Kylo stood up, he walked over and opened it to see two small trays holding a translucent desert. He went to give it to her but she shivered and asked “could we eat in the other room? I’m a bit cold.” Kylo smiled at her “of course!”

Kylo brought the plates and Rey grabbed the pitcher and their cups. Rey sat first grabbing the blanket, They were still in their training outfits from earlier, both exposing so much skin. Rey told herself she was cold because the dining room was made of stone, not because she wanted to sit closer to him on the couch.

Kylo sat next to her doing his best to figure out how much distance he should put between them. He chose to sit closer than he should. Rey sat on her knees and placed the plate on them digging into the desert. She giggled “this is so strange. What is it?” she asked, still delighted by the way the jelly felt on her tongue.

“Mizu yokan,” Kylo answered, tasting his own. The translucent layers of the desert were imbued with the essence of seasonal fruits- the texture was unlike anything else. Smooth and refreshingly cool.

The room was so relaxed, the two now plenty tipsy were simply having fun. It was delightful, like an absolute drug. Both could feel the other’s signature radiating a sense of joy. It was a wonderful moment to be fully lost in.

After finishing up her desert Rey began removing the buns in her hair. As the long day was ending they began to give her a headache. She ran her finger through her hair revealing long chestnut waves tha Kylo took note of. Her hair was so much longer than the last time he had seen it down, he desired to run his fingers through it.

“You fought wonderfully yesterday-” Kylo mentioned setting down his plate and picking up his wine. Rey smiled at him, playfully smacking his arm. What was she doing? She ignored the thought. “I’ve been practicing everyday!” She boasted.

Kylo leaned in “I can tell. I mean you nearly beat me back at the galaxy’s core.” She looked deeply into his eyes, unknowingly biting her lower lip “you really think so?” Rey teased, she felt well-fed and giddy from the wine. Kylo nodded “oh yes, I mean you really had me scared there for a minute. I doubt you would have been as merciful as I was.”

She rolled her eyes at him and snuggled into the couch. He watched her get comfortable and did the same. He placed his arm on the couch so that his hand lay near her shoulder. “You’re afraid of me?” She asked, cocking her head. Kylo leaned in closer “more than you could ever know.”

She gasped a bit at their proximity and the tone of his voice. Her stomach fluttered as she looked into his piercing brown eyes. Rey’s entire body was screaming, it was begging for more of whatever this intoxicating feeling boiling in her blood was. He began tracing her arm with his fingers. Kylo’s hands were rough and made Rey’s skin tingle as he drew pictures on her arm. He was acting so nonchalant, yet he had a mischievous look in his eyes. She nearly trembled at how close he was, she was becoming nervous. He was so close she could smell him- a soft touch of musk, subtle yet undeniably captivating, enhancing the warmth of his presence.

Realizing the situation she bolted up, startling him. “Don’t we have training tomorrow? You have your meeting-” she reminded, walking towards the foyer. “I- uh- canceled it.” He said standing up disappointed, maintaining a neutrally friendly tone despite the clear affection they had just shared. Kylo realized he’d taken it too far, if she wanted to leave that was fine. He would lecture himself once she left.

She scattered to the door, the nervousness springing off of her. “I’ll unlock the door for you, it’s uh- a special lock.” He offered, approaching the door. “I did notice that” she tried to say casually, turning her back to the hallways wall to give him space to work the lock.

The hallway was snug and dimly lit, in Rey’s drunk state she began to admire his side profile as he unlocked the door, pushing it open a bit so a crack of light from the outside hallway peaked in. Kylo noticed her gaze while working, he turned to face her. He took a heavy breath. Sitting so close and comfortably with her had felt so right, so perfect. He wanted to understand the look in her eyes from earlier, he gazed into them one last time before she had the chance to leave.

Rey looked back at him with doe eyes. She desperately wanted him to do something unspeakable, she tried to convey with her energy the need she would never act on first. “I had a really nice time-” Rey’s sweet voice interrupted his anxious thoughts. He could see the want in her eyes. Was he bold enough to do something about it? His body was basically begging him to, he looked over her pretty face and contemplated his final move of the evening.

“So did I…” he said leaning in. As they looked into each other's eyes deeply it reminded Rey of when they met on the battlefield. Who would yield first, and who would admit defeat and make the first move? The game had already been lost, did it even matter anymore? She continued to look at Ren with pleading eyes, not exiting the room.

He had had enough, Kylo couldn’t take it anymore- he took a small step forward connecting his lips with Rey’s. He grabbed the back of her head and followed the momentum pushing her up against the wall. She moaned lightly into his mouth inviting his touch and pulling him in by grabbing the back of his head running her fingers through his hair.

She enjoyed the aggressive sensation of being pushed up against the wall. Her entire body was on fire feeling the way his lips pressed into her. Kylo leaned his whole body into it and the weight was intoxicating. He deeply enjoyed the way he could hold her entire face with his hand, cradling it with possession.

Kylo moved his hands down gradually, sliding them across her waist and down to her hips. He brought them back up again the other direction, this time cupping her breast in his hand. Her nipples were terribly hard and the arousal was becoming overwhelming. He softly swiped his thumb across her swollen nipple and she moaned a bit into his mouth.

Their tongues slid across each other and Rey bit his bottom lip slightly. Kylo was becoming unbearably aroused. He wanted nothing more than to pull every scrap of clothing off of her and fuck her right up against the wall in this very instant. Their kisses became more aggressive and bold until finally they had to come up for air. Kylo placed both hands on the wall looking down at her with shock. Rey looked right back completely dumbfounded at what had just conspired.

In a moment of panic Rey slid under Kylo’s arm and out the door faster than she had ever moved in her life. Kylo watched her run down the wide staircase “see you tomorrow morning for training” she yelled nervously over her shoulder waving goodbye.

Kylo stood in stunned silence gazing at the empty staircase. What the kriff was he going to do now?

Chapter Text

Rey scrutinized herself all the way back to her room. What was she thinking? What was she wanting? She must be going mad. As fast as she could Rey shut herself in her room, locking the door behind her. She stood with her back to the door panting heavily. Rey was a traitor. A lying traitor who was putting the entire Resistance at risk because she couldn’t resist temptation.

That was the worst part- she enjoyed being tempted. Rey had wanted it so badly, to know what his kiss felt like. To understand how it feels to be held by him, she desired to experience the sweet relief of giving in. In a moment of terror she realized the truth of it all, every terrible horrible disgusting thought that she held was true.

These thoughts weren’t new either. From the very first moment she saw his face she’d felt attraction for him. She remembered being startled when he removed his helmet. Because below it was not a monster, but a deviously handsome prince. A prince with long-flowing curls and intense brown eyes, who had a face that haunted Rey in her sleep. He was the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen.

Rey had never felt this level of attraction for anybody. Growing up on Jakku meant life lacked the connection and romance Rey had always longed for. She had never kissed anyone before tonight. Rey’s hands slowly drifted up to her lips and she touched them softly. She had just had her first kiss… with Kylo Ren.

She threw herself on the bed wanting to cry. Rey thought back to her time with The Resistance. Her friends would be so disappointed in her, she would have to keep this a secret forever. She betrayed them and now she was a liability. What was she going to do? Could she even return to them now?

It was like Rey physically couldn’t stop herself back in his chambers. She remembered the holo-books Rose used to lend her. Rose’s books were always romantic and lustful in nature, as it was Rose’s favorite genre. That was the thing about her, Rose was a hopeless romantic with a zest for life. She was well known for her many tussles with other members of The Resistance. Men, women, species of all kinds.

This was part of her reasoning for kissing Finn, she saw a chance for a romantic moment and then went for it. When Finn told her he wasn’t interested she took it very well and the two decided to stay friends. Rose moved onto her next kill very soon after… some pilot who Poe told her would be a waste of time. Poe was right.

The situations Rose often found herself in meant she was well educated in the art of love and seduction. She was always encouraging Rey to get out there, saying it would help her relax from all the stress. When Rose went to get her birth control implant updated she brought Rey along insisting she needed her own “just in case.” Rey highly doubted this was the “just in case” she was referring to.

Maybe in a different universe Rose would be cheering her on. Her books did often include characters like Kylo. Some moody prince with a dark past who needs a strong woman to tame him. Rey realized half way into one of these books once she’d been imagining the love interest as Kylo the entire time. That night she promptly turned the holo-book off and decided sleep was the best course of action.

She did return to it the next day though fully invested in whether or not the characters would finally, after the longest fifteen chapters of her life, get together. Rey was so satisfied when they did, the steamy romance filling her senses making her long to be held.

That was the thing though, Rey had never been held. Her friends had given her hugs and in the beginning even that was overwhelming. How would she react to more? As fearful as she was, it was becoming an all encompassing desire. She worried if she stayed in Kylo’s presence any longer it would consume her.

Rey had never given all that much thought to having sex before Kylo. All she knew back then was nobody was worth her time. On Jakku, the disgusting men who’d previously attempted to pursue her ended up with broken limbs. Back on The Resistance’s base everyone was far too intimidated by her to ask her out. Kylo Ren wasn’t afraid though.

The way he abruptly pushed her against that wall made her heart flutter. It was strange how she longed for him to be rough with her, how she deeply enjoyed it. It was like when they were fighting… but, better. The heat between the two of them was unmistakable. What would become of her if she continued down this path, what would become of her if she left, how would she sleep at night never knowing how his-

A knock at the door.

Rey sat frozen in anticipation. She could feel Kylo’s nervous energy on the other side of the door. What would she do? Slowly she approached the door touching the handle not turning it, she was so damn nervous it was like her heart was going to beat right out of her chest.

Deciding just to pull the trigger she swung the door open abruptly. Kylo stood in front of her with slumped shoulders and a worried look on his face. They gazed at one another for a long moment until he finally spoke. “Rey, I’m so sorr-” he couldn’t even finish his sentence because by then Rey had force grabbed his shirt pulling him into the room and pinning him against the wall this time.

He looked startled as she stood on her tiptoes, roughly grabbing the back of his hair and pulling his lips to hers. He submitted quickly and gave into the kiss. Kylo grabbed her hips pulling her in close until the two began grinding against each other. A breathy moan escaped Kylo’s mouth as Rey sharply bit down onto his bottom lip.

Worked up by her violence he pushed her off of him. It looked like they were both ready to eat each other alive. Rey slammed the door and walked over to the bed sitting on its edge, legs widened, she looked at him inviting him to the challenge. Every rational thought left both their minds in an instant.

Kylo sauntered forward and stood in between Rey’s legs, leaning down he caressed her arm while kissing her deeply. Eventually leaning her back enough to the point she was laying on the bed. As this happened Kylo climbed onto the bed, remembering when they were in this position after dueling. The memory made him bold as he grabbed Rey’s wrists and held them above her head.

She let out a low moan indicating her enjoyment. Kylo took the cue, he leaned down bringing his lips to her collar bone. He lightly kissed them moving higher to her neck, she shivered at the feeling. It was wonderful and she knew at that moment she’d let this man do whatever he pleased to do with her body.

Kylo sensed her pleasure and decided to go further. Peeking his tongue from his mouth he licked from the bottom of Rey’s neck to the top until he was pressing hard sloppy kisses under her ear right next to her jaw. To this Rey loudly moaned, mentally acknowledging this was just the beginning.

Eventually the position grew uncomfortable and they both moved further up on the bed. They laid their heads onto the pillows and pulled each other intoxicatingly close. Their kisses were intense and rough, as Rey ran her fingers through his hair eventually Kylo moved his large hand to her ass, squeezing it and pulling her in close as she threw her leg over his side. It felt so good for both of them and Rey gasped as she felt Kylo growing hard beneath his trousers.

She grinded against him like a taunt. Rey wanted him so badly, pulling back from his lips she went to kiss his exposed muscular shoulders. She held his head still, grabbing his hair as she kissed from his shoulder, up his neck, his sharp jaw, back up to his lips. “Rey-” he mumbled into her mouth pulling away.

She was drunk on lust “yes?” Rey looked into his brown eyes begging for more. “Do you want this?” He asked cautiously. Rey shuttered at the question “I- I do, but…” she felt embarrassment wash over her “I’ve never done this before.”

At first Kylo looked at her with shock “and you still want this, you’re really sure?” Rey knew everything about this was wrong, but she couldn't help but saying “yes.” Kylo gulped, he would go so slow, keep her comfortable and make sure he’d only give her what she could handle for now.

Kylo pulled her in deeply for another kiss, he brought up his hand to her breasts and pawed at them for a moment. Finally he tugged at the bottom of her shirt and slid his hand under grabbing her boob and playing with her nipple. Rey moaned deeply into his mouth and Kylo began realizing she was going to be loud about this.

Eventually he moved down and began tugging at her pants. She helped him pull them down exposing her tiny waist and pillowy ass. Without being asked Rey pulled her top off exposing her perky breast. Kylo wondered when he died and how he got into heaven.

He grabbed at them and then leaned down to trace circles with his tongue. The sensation of him sucking her nipples made her toes curl and she let out another moan watching him play. Rey was highly amused by Kylo’s enthusiasm, she watched him work until he eventually began sliding his hands down to her waist. He playfully pulled her in, grabbing it tightly, and kissed her.

After a long kiss he pushed her shoulder forcing her onto her back. He kissed all the way down from her breast down to her pelvis. The anticipation was destroying her. Kylo spread her legs and held them tightly as he kissed her knee moving towards her inner thigh. The sensation almost tickled and Rey shivered a bit.

Kylo began tugging at her panties pulling them off her body. Rey gasped realizing here she was- fully exposed before Kylo Ren, loving every second of it. Kylo had not taken off a single article of clothing yet much to her annoyance. It was like he could sense the thought she was having, he pulled his shirt off throwing it to the floor with the rest of her clothing. Rey admired his muscular build and strong features, he gave her a moment to look only to divert her attention by finally touching her in the way she so desperately wanted.

He took two fingers to her wet opening and dragged them up lightly to her clit and made slow circles. Rey’s back began to arch a bit, he’d just barely touched her and she was already losing her mind. Not only had he proven he knew exactly what he was doing, the thought of who was doing this to her made the whole ordeal even more intoxicating.

After playing with her clit for a long moment Kylo moved positions laying on his stomach. He had Rey’s legs hiked up holding them firmly with his hands, he kissed her inner thighs taunting her. She knew what he was about to do and she desperately wanted it. Finally he leaned in dragging the tip of his tongue up the center of pussy, she shook at the wonderful sensation letting out a loud moan. He held her tightly in place and pulled her in closer.

His tongue became more aggressive and Rey began letting out noises she didn’t know she could make. She watched his head bob as he worked, the image of him licking her up made her muscles tighten. The wrongness of it all and the extent of that pleasure only made her want more.

Kylo drank her up like a man possessed. He so desperately wanted to make her feel good, he’d blow her mind and maybe she’d let him do this to her again. She tasted sweet to his surprise, Kylo decided he could do this everyday so he ate her out like his life depended on it. He’d never wanted to fuck a woman so badly in his whole life.

Rey propped herself up on her elbows to get a better view of him. She panted watching him devour her. At some point he looked up and stopped his licking to which she let out an unhappy growl, he looked up at her and chucked, diving back in.

If she wanted more- that’s what she would get. He pushed the tip of his ring finger into her sopping wet hole. Rey’s body flinched in pleasure remembering when he told her his ring finger was a size eleven. He stuck his finger all the way in making her gasp and began curling it upward, pressing into just the perfect spot.

Kylo stretched her out and she groaned at the sensation. It was overwhelming however that didn’t stop the want. She grabbed his hair pulling it to make his eyes meet hers “more…” she moaned out. Kylo obeyed, pulling his finger out and re-entering with both his pointer and middle finger.

His fingers made a wet noise as they pushed in and out of her. It felt so good, Rey’s toes were curling and her whole body shuddered as they maintained eye contact. Kylo grew insatiably hard watching the involuntary faces she made at him. The intensity was building and Rey let go of his hair falling onto her back. In response Kylo leaned down and started licking again while continuing to finger her.

It was all becoming too much, he was pressing just into the right spot and his tongue’s soft touch was driving her crazy. Her whole body clenched up and she began moaning out louder than before. Rey swore she was about to cry she felt so good. Her body continued to tighten and Kylo fingers and tongue picked up the pace.

Rey clenched harder and harder until she couldn't take it anymore. She released violently and began shuddering and cursing as she came down. Kylo ate her out thoroughly holding her steady as muscles spasmed. Eventually he pulled away from her swollen lips letting her fully come down from her high. Rey had never cummed like that before and her mind was somewhere else. She felt like she was floating on the bed.

Kylo watched her body collapse into relaxation. He grinned to himself proud of his work, wiping the wet from his lips with the back of his hand. “Breathe… just breathe.” He said steadying her, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

She could hear him get up, and walk over grabbing something. Water turned on in the distance and eventually she heard something get set on the bedside table. “Drink some water.” Kylo told her.

Her muscles made her feel glued to the bed. Groggily she sat up grabbing the water, her whole body felt light and heavy at the same time. She drank half the cup in one gulp. She set it down on the table looking at the gorgeous shirtless man standing before her. “Are you alright?” Kylo asked, caressing her face, she nodded yes.

Becoming self conscious of the fact she was exposed she decided to go under the covers. She held them close and breathed. What had just happened. They looked confused at each other not knowing what to do now. Everything had happened so fast.

For some reason she grew annoyed watching him just stand in front of her. “Sit down!” Rey demanded throwing the blankets open for him to join her under the covers. He sat and she threw the blankets over him and laid down.

“Do you want me to leave?” He asked cautiously.

“No.” She retorted back. He stared at her filled with confusion.

Eventually he laid down next to her and they both gazed into each other’s eyes. “Don’t you want to fuck me?” Rey asked. Kylo laughed a bit “Oh, I do… but I’m just getting you warmed up for now.” She rolled her eyes at him “fine” she sighed. He had the thought he might hurt her accidentally if her tried to fuck her too soon, despite how terribly hard he was he’d wait until she could take it so he could properly fuck her the way he wanted to.

She closed her eyes, she was so tired now. “Are you going to stay?” She asked him, not wanting to be alone. “I shouldn’t...” he trailed off with a yawn. He decided he would close his eyes for only a moment. But, the moment went by and before he could worry another worry he was asleep. The two slept soundly that night.

Chapter Text

Rey’s early alarm startled her as it loudly began shouting. Springing up in bed to check her surroundings she turned to shut the ringing off, before she could reach it she watched a large hand sneak from under the covers and lazily press the snooze button.

She looked down to see Kylo Ren still in bed beside her. His head was still firmly on the pillow and he had not opened his eyes. She placed her head in her hands, so last night really did happen. How were they supposed to continue on now? Had she ruined it, had he? Who was to blame? Rey had already come so far she couldn’t run now, but the anxieties of how things would proceed overwhelmed her.

Rey steadied her breathing, glancing at the figure beside her. She’d never shared a bed with anyone before. Everything happened so quickly and as much as she wanted to regret it she just couldn’t. It had felt so kirrfing good, and deep down she knew she wanted more. She studied his pale skin, he looked so peaceful as he slept and she longed to push the messy hair away that was covering his face.

Eventually, she began pushing at his side “Kylo-” nothing, so she pushed him a bit again “Kylo…” Rey rolled her eyes “Kylo, training?” She asked giving him a more aggressive shove. Suddenly he gasped violently and sat up straight in bed, he rubbed his eyes trying to figure out where he was. Slowly he turned and saw Rey, he gave her a look of confusion and then she watched realization hit him. She wanted to giggle realizing he was going through all the thoughts she had just had.

He was still shirtless and Rey desired to touch him, but she kept her hands to herself. She admired his figure as he brought both hands up to push back and untangle his long hair. At least now she could admit that she was attracted to him…

Suddenly Rey became very aware of her undressed state, she pulled the blankets close to cover her still exposed breast. The pair looked at each other unsure of what to say, the tension between the two sang a song of hesitation asking who would dare speak first.

This seemed to be something that happened to them often. They had never met a person who left them that speechless before. For both of them, this relationship was uncharted space. A galaxy full of exciting quests and the only way to solve its mystery was to dive in head first. In their souls they felt a great mystery and the only way to solve it was to persuade the other to hand over their respective keys.

Both continued to stare at the other, their soberness hitting them fully. Neither one of them had been that drunk but they fought to use that as a justification about their current situation. The silence was becoming aggressively awkward and both prayed for the other to speak.

Suddenly the ringing of Rey’s alarm chimed again, startling them both as they abruptly turned their heads to the noise. Kylo turned it off with an annoyed click, still looking at the alarm he said “we’ve overslept.” He got out of the bed and stretched and turned back to her with a serious look on his face “get dressed, we’ve already wasted enough time.”

Without realizing it Rey followed his command. She leapt from the bed walking over to the dresser to search for new clothes. Kylo looked around on the floor for his abandoned shirt, he found it and picked it up. As he went to put it back on he watched Rey’s perfectly round ass bend over as she went to her bottom drawer to pick out something to wear. He didn’t even pretend not to look, he desired deeply to skip training all together and fuck her right up against the dresser in this very instant.

Kylo shook his head, in his newly awakened state he couldn't help but let the thoughts flow freely. He wouldn’t give her what she wanted yet. The perverted part of him wanted her to beg for it, and after last night's show he didn’t think that’d be too hard to accomplish. He smiled to himself putting his shirt back on, but then scoffed and reminded himself to focus. Kylo wouldn’t let his desires stop them from accomplishing their goals. As much as he wanted this he needed to remind both of them what the priority was.

Rey grumbled as she dressed. She had just obediently listened to Kylo Ren, was hyper focused on the soreness between her legs, and now he was going to make her go train as if last night didn’t happen. That was fine if he didn’t want to talk about it then she wouldn't talk about it, she’d break him before he broke her. She could feel the desire radiating off of him. Perhaps she’d purposely lose during today's training just to let him pin her down… She shook her head to herself, no she needed to focus this was not why she was here.

Kylo sat at the edge of the bed putting his boots back on, glancing at Rey getting dressed every once in a while. The cockiness was fading from his body, as the seconds passed the anxiety started creeping back in. He was about to ruin everything if he wasn’t careful.

Before she could say anything Rey watched Kylo walk out of her room. Now she was blatantly hungry and annoyed, she cursed to herself racing after him down the hall. “Kylo Ren, where do you think you’re going?” She yelled, trying to catch up. “To the kitchen” he answered, continuing to walk forward.

She followed him to the kitchen and leaned against the cabinets placing a hand on her hip and watched as he silently made them both smoothies. What game was he playing at? She swiped the drink from his hand as he offered it to her, drinking it grumpily as they walked to the training room in silence.

Everything went as poorly as they both expected. Meditating was a spectacular failure as neither one of them could stop thinking about the other. As the meditation holo told them to breathe Kylo could only think of just how heavily Rey was breathing the night before and how he’d like to make her do that again. He cursed at himself silently. Rey was no better than Kylo, as the only thing she could focus on was how uncomfortable sitting was and wondering the delight of how uncomfortable it could be if he had just done as she’d asked.

This complete lack of focus led to combat practice being shaky and off for them both. It’s like they were both too afraid to actually hit each other. Their swings were shaky and lacked their usual fire, it was nearly awkward and the fight only began to pick up as their annoyance at each other grew.

Just as the battle started getting good, Kylo tripped over his own kirffing feet and poorly landed on his wrist. Leading to him swearing quite a bit and throwing his saber on the ground. Rey wanted to feel bad for him but was too confused by what was even happening to really care. She rolled her eyes as he threw his tantrum and remembered her sparring partner was Kylo Ren. In a moment of rage, Kylo excused himself to get checked by the medic. Rey threw her hands in the air to this having no sympathy for his hypothetically hurt wrist.

In truth Kylo just wanted to leave, suddenly feeling pathetic and far too aware of his actions from the night before. This relationship- this whatever it was- needed to be reeled in so that they could get back to work. Rey was going to be the death of him, he was sure of it. As he ran to the medic the anxiety flooded back to him, it had disappeared for a brief moment last night and he longed to return back to that feeling.

The whole examination was pitiful, the medical droid examined his writs and robotically explain there was not a single thing wrong with it. However it did detect an unnatural heart rate and the other symptoms of his rage quit and suggested he stay in the examining room until he calmed down. The droid then left proclaiming it was going to grab a pill to treat his racing thoughts. Kylo was completely embarrassed, he gripped his knees trying to collect himself.

He felt like he wanted to cry, which made him feel stupid, which made him want to cry even more. Kylo Ren thought about his feelings as little as humanly possible, but Rey brought them out of him. This attachment was a danger to everything he had worked towards, but it was a drug he was already hooked on so what was he to do now? He was the most powerful man in the galaxy, if anyone could have it all wasn’t it him?

But he knew the truth, always had. Something Kylo Ren learned a long time ago in a place far away, long before he went by the name Kylo Ren, was that nobody could have it all. Especially not in his family. A flock of icarus was what his family was and he felt he worried he was following in their fate.

When he was a boy, when he was Ben Solo still, he believed in redemption. It was something his family championed, until it mattered… Why was it when a little boy began having nightmares and showing signs of darkness they stopped believing he could find his was back to the light? What made Rey think he could still do it? He suddenly wondered.

Kylo felt spun out, he breathed deeply collecting himself remembering the plan. He would leave here and go straight to his office. He needed to call his informer, Patsy, find out if he had any new leads. Then he needed to stop by the lab and check on the flowers, that is all that mattered. This want for Rey would have to be put on hold, and his melodrama concerns about his family could stop immediately. He would overcome everything they failed to achieve, he would be the first of the Skywalkers to have it all.

Chapter Text

Rey stomped all the way to The Falcon after that lousy training session. Kylo really must be the most infuriating man in the whole galaxy. What was his problem, why was he getting her all worked up just to blow her off? She couldn’t understand why he didn’t want her. That all too familiar sense of rejection sat in the pit of her stomach festering. Rey felt ridiculous, she was wasting time, how was any of this supposed to help The Resistance?

She decided it would be best to check in with them and decide what to do from there. She called only for them not to answer, so she called again and… nothing. Rey felt like losing her temper but did her best to maintain herself by pacing around The Falcon as her mind traveled faster than light speed.

How could she have forgotten who she was dealing with? Kylo Ren… the leader of The First Order, the man who attempted the extermination of The Resistance. He was all too willing to let her friends be picked off one by one even as she begged him to save their lives. He was a murder and a scoundrel and a dictator and she wondered how she had forgotten that.

Feeling her heavy heart, she paced a bit more until it became too much, so she sat on the edge of a bench and began reflecting on how she got here. She was a nobody junk trader with nothing to her name who somehow found herself piloting the Millenium Falcon and calling herself Kylo Ren’s arch-nemesis. She began to cry, it must have been the first time she let the absurdity of her situation sink in. How had this all happened? She felt like such an imposter, and her facade of strength crumbled as she wondered if the whole galaxy was placing a bet on a losing dog.

Rey sobbed wondering if she had truly ruined everything. She hadn’t furthered her training one bit, she’d learned nothing about these Medi-flowers, learned nothing that could help The Resistance, the only thing she had accomplished was let ungodly things be done upon her by Kylo kirffing Ren. Rey began to cry.

This draining purge of emotions felt so good. As her tears fell she sank deeper into her emotions feeling the rawness of her situation. She’d never been loved- never been touched. This illusion that somebody might want her was eating her alive, the hope someone might want to just hold her and the deep profound desire to be known was all consuming. The control these needs had over her were terrifying and she reckoned with the consequences of her actions.

Rey wondered: was she really so desperate to be known she would betray her morals? She couldn’t understand why this connection with Kylo Ren was different from the one she shared with her friends. Didn’t they love her? Yes, she truly believed they did.

So what was this potency in her heart she felt when she was close to him? Surely he didn’t love her. Rey believed he was capable of turning back to the light, but could he ever care about anything besides himself and his mission? Rey began to wonder if his power was mystifying her.

Then a thought crept into Rey’s head that made her stomach jolt. She pictured her friends' happy faces and all the love they held for her and then wondered: do they understand who you really are? Her stomach locked and the reality crept in that the answer was… no, they did not.

And there it was, the answer she’s been seeking in Kylo Ren. He’d never love her like her friends do, but the unfortunate truth is they would likely never understand her the way Kylo Ren does. So, then what did that make her? She shuddered at the thought. Rey felt ready to collapse under the pressure. She cried until her tears turned to hiccups and she had nothing left to sob about.

Feeling light headed she got up to drink some water. She sat in the front of the Falcon sipping on her water bottle and tried to put her head back on straight, there were decisions to be made and there wasn’t any more time for her tears. Rey’s eyes felt so bloodshot that she decided it’d be best to close them for a moment.

Right as she began to drift off she heard a loud “BING-BING-BINGGGG BING-BING-BINGGGG.” She bolted upright furious to be woken. Rey with anger turned the alert off, not even looking at what was causing the noise and snuggled back into the chair.

“Sorry we missed your call, Rey!” exclaimed a cheery voice, Rey sat up straight confused for a moment rubbing her eyes. Rey perked up remembering the reason she came into the falcon “Finn!” She exclaimed.

“Uhh, Rose too!” Rose piped quicked. There was a scoff on the other end “Hey? What about Poe!?” the pilot jested. In the distance Rey could hear a “GURAHAAA!” Letting her know Chewie was also there. She laughed and took in the deep feeling of comfort she felt from hearing her friends' voices. “I’ve missed you all so much,” she sighed out.

“Aww Rey, we’ve missed you too! But, we have some good news that will excite you!” Finn declared.

“Oh! What?” Rey asked with peaked curiosity.

“Wellll, you know how I’ve been leading our secret intelligence mission?” Rose asked with a hint of mischief in her voice.

“Of course!” Rey responded, nodding her head and sitting on the edge of her seat.

“Well, I extorted some valuable information…” Rose giggled.

“What?” Rey laughed, not understanding what was so funny about the situation.

“Tell her how you got the information, Rose!” Snickered Poe.

Rey could hear Rose giggling like a mad woman on the other end. Rey found herself grinning “How? What-” she laughed, feeling their cheerful energy on the other end “guys tell me right now!”

“ROSE HAD PHONE SEX WITH THE OPERATIVE!” Finn blurted and then died in a fit of laughter only for Rey to hear him seconds later go “OW!” Which meant Rose had hit him.

Rose gave out a long sigh then said “so… I may have seduced the operative into giving up some valuable information!”

Rey giggled “what?” It seemed like everytime Rose got done impressing her she did it again.

“Some pretty big information too!” Cheered Poe.

“Like what!?” Exclaimed Rey “just tell me!” She demanded.

“Well, remember that building coup against Kylo Ren?” Finn asked. Rey’s bit her bottom lip and held her breath, she had forgotten all about that despite only learning about it seven days ago. To be fair a lot has happened in the past seven days for her.

“Anyways-” Finn continued “we’ve learned-” Rose cut him off “ummm, I’m sorry who’s story is this to tell?” Rose asked, Rey could picture Finn rolling his eyes as he said “sorry, sorry, you tell it!”

“I-” Rose emphasized “learned that there is a whole party within the First Order who plans to overthrow Ren and gain power, not only that but somebody MASSIVE is funding them!” Rose exclaimed.

“What?” Rey asked weakly. “So the operative wouldn’t say exactly who is funding them, but I did get him to slip up and he mentioned a planet called Exegol…” Rose continued to speak but Rey could no longer hear her as she suddenly felt dizzy falling back in her seat. Rey’s head shot backwards and violently flashes of visions began flooding her mind's eye, her hand went to her head as they began downloading all at once.

Rey saw a charcoal grey planet- massive blue lightning and storm clouds, and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of Star Destroyers. Her body shuddered as she saw herself entering into a dark cavern, it was cold and threatening. Evil laughter rang in her ear. She tried to stand and grabbed her stomach becoming nauseous at the energy. She looked up at a hooded figure with glowing terrifying yellow eyes piercing into her soul as she felt her stomach sink further listening to the hooded figures' depraved laughter.

Rey inhaled sharply falling backwards into the chair and regained clarity to where she truly was. “-So we're going to go there and try to figure out who it is!” Rose finished. Rey shook her head and shouted desperately “No! No! You Can’t go to Exegol!”

Rose stuttered on the other end “Uhh why not?” She laughed nervously. “I just um- I sense danger!” Rey cried out with a sharp intensity. There was silence and then Poe said “What do you mean?”

Rey stuttered “I- I’m not sure I just feel the most primal danger associated with that planet. I don’t know why but it shouldn’t be messed with.”

There was more silence until Poe spoke again “Rey, we’re sort of always in danger? We can’t give up this big of a lead because you have a bad feeling. We will do our best to stay safe, as always. But, if we can find an ally we don’t have a choice, we’re desperate.”

Rey was stunned into silence, they always want her to be a Jedi and now in a moment where she was being one they wouldn't listen.

“Rey, we um- have to go.” Said Finn with a sigh. Poe chuckled awkwardly “we-uh sorta told you all this information before we told the General, so we are headed in now to brief her on everything.”

“Okay.” Rey said briefly.

“We miss you!” Rose said cheerily.

“Yeah, stay safe Rey!” Finn exclaimed.

“I will.” She whispered.

“GAUHHHH, Gauhhmuhhh!!!!” Yelled Chewie.

Rey laughed sadly “thanks Chewie, you too.” And with that she hung up the call.

Then something in Rey shattered a bit, and the disconnection from her friends she’d been meditating on came into light. A sea of emotions brewed in her, its crashing waves filled with anger and resentment. She loved them, but the betrayal from their lack of trust stung. Sometimes it felt like they only needed a jedi when it was convenient for them.

Rey began to understand the lessons Luke once shared with her. She reflected on when he asked her what she knew about the force, she thought of her lousy answer and how Luke scolded her for it. She was beginning to understand his frustrations, her understanding of The Force back then was so lacking.

Rey used to believe the Jedi were what they were because of their actions and abilities, she now understood their powers came from their mindset. And yet, their actions are all anyone can see. It was all her friends could see. It was how they could justify cherry-picking when they trust in her abilities, they saw her as someone with strength who can swoop in at the last second and save the day, not for her wisdom.

“The Jedi are romanticized, deified…” Luke once told her. He was right.

Swiftly Rey packed her things from the Falcon and began heading back to the base. She had a lot more she needed to learn from Kylo Ren.

Chapter Text

In nervous anticipation Kylo entered his chamber. He was still feeling overwhelmed from his morning training with Rey. He longed to go to his bed and sleep off the weight of his emotions, however he was the Supreme Leader and that was not an option.

Kylo entered his office, sat in his - regular sized - chair, and began flipping through his notes. First thing on the agenda was to get an update from Patsy, his informant, on the building coup. Next he would head to the lab to see how the flowers were adjusting to their new climate. Then he would have to speak to Rey…

The last thing on the to-do-list was by far the scariest so he addressed his smaller problem first- a rising coup. He dialed the secret protected line he created and then held his breath. The call went through and before Kylo could speak he heard a nervous “ahhh, boss! You finally called…”

Kylo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What happened?” He grunted out.

The informant laughed nervously. “Well, do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

Kylo thought for a second and then sighed… “The good.”

“Well recent galactic surveys are placing you at an all time high favorability rating! We’ve found your organized crime crackdown has painted you as sympathetic to the common folks of the galaxy. Over 55% said they were excited to see what future legislation you will pass, and over 88% said they preferred you to Snoke. Less than 14% said they think The Resistance has a chance, and only 9% thought The Resistance would be capable of replacing The First Order with something more stable…”

As Patsy rambled more statistics off Kylo smiled to himself, he was glad he was at least doing something right. He thought of what Rey said to him at the grave “even if you could be trusted with power there’s no way to ensure the one who follows you can.” His smile faded, how could he ensure this success would continue?

“The bad news is-” said Patsy filled with hesitation, Kylo had forgotten- “that all of these statistics has infuriated the opposition, who are now calling themselves The Nexus.”

What a peculiar name, why was that the name? Kylo wondered. Nexus, meaning: a series of connections linking two or more things. But what did that mean in terms of their agenda?

“In their most recent meeting they revealed Hux is only the face of the operation, he is taking his orders from someone else…”

To this Kylo sat up straight in his chair. Who would Hux take orders from? “How is that possible? Who is their leader?” Asked Kylo with a fierce intensity.

“That they did not reveal. This information was only shared when going over the budget which showed a sizable donation…” Patsy sounded beyond nervous now.

“How sizable?” growled Kylo.

Patsy gulped “300 billion credits.”

Kylo’s stomach dropped. Who in the galaxy was handing over THREE HUNDRED BILLION CREDITS to overthrow him? Who could hate him so much, who would have that type of money, that type of power and Kylo be completely unaware of who it could be. Kylo didn’t even have a list of suspects, this was so much worse than he could have ever anticipated.

“Patsy, I want you to instruct every informant we have to not sleep until they figure out who this donor is- do you understand me?” Kylo instructed with threat in his voice. “Yes, sir!” said Pasty. “I already instructed that command before you called, sir.”

Kylo took a sigh of relief, it was nice having people he could trust. “Thank you, Patsy.” He said. “You’re a good officer.”

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.” Said Patsy beaming, as he spoke again he could hear the nervousness return “if not for you we would still be under Snokes leadership fighting a directionless battle. Your vision of the galaxy inspires us all, none of us wish to go back to those times.”

Kylo smiled “I appreciate that, although your flattery is unnecessary. Please send my regards to my men, and call me the second you have even the smallest bit of information.”

“Yes, sir!” Said Patsy, hanging up the call.

Kylo sat back in his chair lost in thought. Who could be providing such massive funding to this coup? He felt confident that if a major system was rebelling against him he would be aware. That's the only thing it could be, 300 billion credits was a third of The First Orders military budget, who could afford that? It couldn’t be one man, credits like that could only be the collected efforts of an entire star system.

Kylo smirked a bit, it was quite the compliment though. Was he really that threatening? He wondered if his grandfather would be proud. He was striking fear into the heart of someone enough to waste 300 billion credits. He just hoped he was strong enough to fight back, he had to be.

Kylo stood up, leaving his office and walked into his bed chambers. It was a large stone room, cozy with a massive bed and bookshelves lining the walls holding his favorite books. It was dimly lit with a comfortable reading chair and a massive window that overlooked the red bark forest.

The weight of this intel was overwhelming, he was The Supreme Leader, there was no time for distraction. He went to his mediation mat that sat next to the large window. Kylo longed to feel grounded, he longed for guidance. He closed his eyes for a moment, meditating on his grandfather's energy.

He thought of the grave, of his dusty skull, of his power, his legacy. This all felt so conflicting in his mind, lately it was as if everything he knew about his family's past was unraveling before him. Kylo feared the context he built his purpose and personality on were a lie. If this were true- what would he have lived his life for?

Kylo attempted to focus on his breathing but his chest only felt tighter. Instead of calming and grounding himself he was spiraling into a darker place. Where the darkness once comforted him he now felt lost and alone. Kylo was scared but in a moment of intuition decided to look towards the light for answers.

The visualization came to him clearly. It was as if a white aura surrounded him bringing him peace. He gasped letting it sink in and then relaxed. It was a strange glowing feeling he had not experienced since he was a boy. Despite its comfort he longed to pull away from it, the fear of how this could change him was terrifying.

Suddenly, a freezing chill ran up his spine. He felt a heavy weight on his chest- as if it was difficult to breathe. And in the back of his mind a threatening: “Quooo-cuhhh.” Kylo sat up straight trying to channel the energy, holding onto its connection. He squeezed his eyes tightly “Grandfather, what should I do?” He asked aloud.

In the back of his mind the voice threatened “I am not you grandfather. Quooo-cuhh-“ then suddenly the voice changed. It was smooth and charming. It said “I am.” Then energy so raw and powerful opened Kylo’s eyes and knocked him over. Laying on the ground feeling shocked by the energy’s power, he gasped.

The voice said, “What is your real name?” And with that all the energy was sucked out of the room and the presence was gone.

Kylo laid on the ground breathing heavily, attempting to take in what had just happened. Kylo pounded his fist into the ground out of frustration. He had meditated on his grandfather for nearly two decades and he had never come to him. Kylo had tried everything, he shuddered at the torture he endured trying to communicate with him.

Now in a moment of weakness, a slip up, a fall to the light- and finally his grandfather spoke to him. A knot formed in Kylo’s stomach, he remembered the voice “What is your real name?”

Ben Solo… Ben Solo… Ben Solo… The name rang heavily in his ears, haunting him. What did his grandfather mean by this? Why was this important? How would this question help him defeat his enemies? Worst of all, why could Kylo Ren only reach Darth Vader in the light?

The answers felt as if they should be obvious but Kylo couldn’t understand them. He couldn’t trust himself in the vulnerability of the light, but it was calling out to him like a siren song he must face. Fear gripped his chest as he accepted his grandfather's instructions. He must at least on some level understand the light, but only until he found his answers. Because who was he without the darkness?

Ben Solo… that’s what she insisted on calling him, right? Then clarity hit him… Rey. She could help him discover what he needed from the light. Guide him through it and allow him to maintain his darkness. Their training was imperative to the survival of The First Order. He was on the right path after all.

Kylo had no barriers now, he would give himself to her fully. Perhaps for her to show him the light she’d allow him to show her the darkness. Perhaps after some time she’d become his after all.

Chapter Text

As Rey sped back from The Falcon she reflected on her purpose.

Save the galaxy.

That was her mission, right? Why did it matter the way she accomplished that? Perhaps better to dismantle the First Order from the inside out rather than a scrappy rebellion. This plan of hers could possibly save millions of lives, and her friends would never have to put themselves at risk at all.

Rey hoped she wasn’t in too deep with her justifications. She hoped at the end of the day her friends would understand and accept what she has done. What she has let be done to her… she hoped that he-

As Rey turned the hallway’s corner she ran into something full speed, causing her to stumble. As she began to trip she felt a large hand grab her waist and pull her up, preventing her from falling. Her breath hitched when she looked up at him as he pulled her in close with two firm hands on her waist. She grabbed his strong arm to steady herself and breathed deeply.

“Be careful, Rey.” Kylo Ren said in a low tone still holding her tightly.

“Um… I will.” She muttered not moving away from him.

They gazed at each other, not speaking for a moment and not moving. Kylo’s deep brown eyes analyzed her with intensity which frightened Rey, finally causing her to break the silence. “Where are you going?” She asked in a hushed tone.

“To the lab, where are you going?” He questioned. She absentmindedly squeezed his arm feeling anxious, “I was looking for you.” She admitted. His brown eyes still pierced through her “well, you found me. What can I do for you, Rey?” He asked sincerely.

“I just wanted to know what training for the rest of the day is going to look like?” Was all she said, she didn’t mention the other reasons she’d like to be in his presence. Not the new comfort and understanding she’d found within him. Certainly not any other reason besides their physical training…

“My priority is checking on the Medi-flowers. Since I was supposed to last night but didn’t due to us… being busy.” Is all he said, she swore she saw a blush peak through his pale skin. “You are welcome to come with me to the lab.” Kylo offered.

“Sure, what will we be doing there?” She asked. Kylo released her waist to Rey’s disappointment and began leading her to the lab. “Today- just checking on the condition of the flowers. Removing them from their environment seems to be taking a toll on them. I need them to be in perfect condition before testing them.” Kylo insisted.

It was a short walk to the laboratory and Rey shivered as she entered the temperature controlled room. She was wearing only a tank top and shorts, and given she’d never really spent time in the cold before, so this was enough to bother her. Kylo noticed, absentmindedly placing a warm hand on her back. She shivered more- he was a furnace.

Rey walked away from his touch exploring the strange artificially blue lit room. There were rows of flowers protected by clear plastic curtains. Occasionally above the flowers mist would fall like rain onto the petals. But, as Rey gazed down to the flowers she saw a struggling wilting thing that gave off a potent vibration of uncomfortability. It was strange, the flowers were strong and she could feel their discomfort as if it was her own.

“Are they dying?” She asked nervously. What was the point of finding these flowers just to accidentally kill them?

“No- they are strong.” Kylo said, pushing back a curtain and examining them himself. “However, I believe they are picking up the vibration of this planet and rejecting it.” He gazed around the lab for a moment with a confused look on his face. “Alor- Lee-” He called out. Suddenly, out of a side door Rey had not noticed three lab technicians popped out.

“Supreme Leader?” Said one of the lab workers. “We weren’t expecting you today-” said the other one. Then the final lab tech snarked “especially since you grew so busy last night.”

Kylo made a sniffling sound and pinched his nose, a tell of uncomfortability, and began introducing them to each other before explaining himself. “Rey, these are my top scientists- Lee-” He directed his hand towards the short blonde woman who spoke to him first, she stuck her hand out for Rey to shake. She took it hesitantly remembering she was in the company of The First Order. “Alor-” The other woman was taller and brunette and also offered to shake Rey's hand, which Rey took. “And Kauszo.” This woman had a stern look on her face and did not offer Rey her hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Rey said awkwardly. Kylo moved on quickly “what is the status update on the flowers?” He questioned.

“Their energetic signature is still gradually decreasing.” Declared Lee handing him some paperwork. Kylo took it and walked over to a lab desk and sat looking through the data. Rey stood back watching him talk with the scientist following after him.

“However, they still continue to put out energy at an enormous rate even in their weakened state.” Explained Kauszo leaning in closer than necessary to point out some data on the paper.

Something in Rey stirred. It was a sort of protectiveness and deep feeling of jealousy. She watched as the lab tech continued to use any excuse to touch Kylo- to which he was completely absorbed in the data rendering him oblivious. Which was a blessing and a curse as Rey stood back watching it continue.

Dark realizations crept into Rey’s mind about her feelings towards Kylo. Rey realized she wanted Kylo all to herself, and even if he was The Supreme Leader his attention and time was to be hers. Since the moment they had met he had kept this unspoken promise of fixation, which she now was coming to understand she deeply enjoyed.

Rey had gone from a non-existent nobody on Jakku that no one would even notice if she died, to an obsession of a man with ultimate power. A man who would literally tear the galaxy apart to find her- even if it meant finding her to kill her. But, she wasn’t so sure he would still go through with that now. The contrast in being perceived was overwhelming. But, it made her feel special and important and she now saw she was unwilling to let it go. Maybe she was selfish and self-absorbed, but right now she couldn’t care less.

All she could care about was getting this frumpy lab tech away from Kylo Ren as fast a possible. Rey wondered what she could possibly do to pull his attention. Her emotions ran high. It blocked her from thinking clearly, it made her want to do dark, irrational things to this woman she’d just met. Rey was The Last kirffing Jedi, how could this prudish lab tech ever think she stood a chance? How could she have the audacity to think she could capture the attention of Kylo Ren? He’s The Supreme Leader, he’s the only man who had ever given Rey the-

An alarm began going off right next to Rey causing her to jump. She looked over to see the flowers she stood next to growing black and wilting. All three lab techs ran over along with Kylo.

“What happened?” Alor asked, inspecting the flowers. They all began inspecting the flower box to find the source of the problem. Kylo stood next to Rey grabbing her arm gently “did you see anything, Rey?” He asked continuing to hold onto her. “Nothing, I was just observing what you were doing.”

“What did you do?” Grunted Kauszo. Rey turned, glaring at this eyesore of a person “I didn’t do anything-” jabbed Rey.

Kauszo rolled her eyes “clearly you did. Our monitors are picking up a negative force signature and now the flowers are wilting!” She turned back to the flowers frustrated and Rey judged the way her asymmetrical bob swayed.

Lee stepped in attempting to be a voice of reason. “We’ve found these flowers are extremely force sensitive so even the slightest thing can trigger a change in them.” She began flipping through the data to show Kylo something. “We find, Supreme Leader, they actually perk up after you spend time in the lab. Whatever your force signature radiates it’s very receptive-” the technician turned looking at Rey “perhaps they are less receptive to hers.”

“What were you thinking about, Rey?” Kylo asked, grabbing both of her shoulders. Rey’s stomach dropped. Those nosy kirffing flowers ratted her out on her jealousy tangent. “Nothing- uhh, I don’t know.”

“Rey-” he grunted at her. “Kylo what are you implying?” She fought back. He looked around the lab and let go of her shoulders and with a sigh. Then in a moment of frustration demanded “all of you out of the lab now!”

Alor and Lee began making their way to the door without question while Kauszo stayed behind to try and argue. “But, Supreme Leader, who will take care of the flowers? When can we return? Will you be here-”

Kylo cut her off shouting “leave!” Typically Rey would lecture him about being nicer but she enjoyed watching the girl sulk out the room. It was silent for a moment until Kylo turned to Rey and sternly asked “do you have any negative intentions for these flowers?”

Rey scoffed “be serious, Kylo. I’m just as curious about them as you are.” He continued to glare at her until she said firmly “no, I don’t intend to sabotage them.” Kylo’s shoulders slumped and he went back to attending the flowers. “Then you must be more attuned to the dark side than you realize.” He jested annoyed, his back was to hers but she swore she could see him grinning.

“It is not that.” Rey grumbled irritatedly, placing a hand on her hip.

Kylo fell back into their argumentative routine easily. “Well what unspoken anger are you holding against me that is so potent you’re killing all the flowers by just existing near them?” He jabbed at her. Kylo was well aware of his recent shortcomings in their relationship but it felt better to fight than own up to them.

“Hmm… could it be you running out of training?” she asked rhetorically. He ignored her, continuing to inspect the flowers. “Like a child-” she added watching his back tense up. He ignored her still. She tapped her foot impatiently waiting for him to respond. He did not.

Kylo grew more frustrated as the flowers began to wilt increasingly faster. He quickly turned to her “Rey! Stop it! You’re hurting the flowers.”

But, she couldn’t stop. These feelings were building inside of her and she couldn’t contain them any longer. She was finally at a place of peace and permission to move forward in the way she’d truly been desiring for so long that she had no choice but to continue.

“Or could it be because you’re pretending like last night didn’t happen?” She felt the room turn ice cold. The tension could be cut with a knife as she watched Kylo saunter over to her.

He grabbed her waist pulling her in, then grabbed the side of her face looking deeply into her hazel eyes. “Do you regret it, Rey?” He asked in a gruff voice. She gazed back at him matching his intensity and said “no.”

Before either one of them took a chance to think their bodies were slamming into each other. Kylo pulled her in close, viciously kissing her. “Good-“ he breathed into her mouth, “because I need you.”

Rey pulled at his hair to bring him in closer to her and then whispered “then take me.” They kissed with a haste and desire neither had ever experienced before. It was animalistic and greedy and they both needed more.

Suddenly, Kylo threw her over his shoulder and began exiting the lab. Rey was so enthralled that she didn’t even notice the flowers which had healed and began glowing.

Chapter Text

Rey was surprised as he carried her all the way through the halls, up the stairs, through his chamber doors, into his bedroom, and finally tossed her onto his bed. She had never been in his room before and had very little time to take in the scenery before he was on top of her.

He began by kissing her neck and trailing his hands down her body. She clung to him tightly, grabbing his hair with one hand and placing a hand on his neck. Her breathing was already heavy as she lost herself in his touch. Kylo’s kisses were aggressive and feverish. Rey expected nothing less from this terrifying man and enjoyed every moment of it.

It was like a switch was flipped in her brain and suddenly nothing mattered besides fulfilling this desire. Rey grew needy and began tugging at his shirt to pull it off. He complied quickly and in his moment of distraction she used it to flip him over and take control. Now straddling him, she traced her fingers over his perfectly sculpted body.

Kylo responded by grabbing her waist and grinding into her. A moan slipped from both of them and Rey leaned down to bite at his lips. She then moved on to kissing the sensitive spot below his ear and next to his jaw that he had shown her last time they met like this. She kissed and sucked on that spot until he began moaning.

This didn’t last long as it only worked Kylo up more, wanting him to take control again. He then easily flipped her around to be on top of her again. Kylo pinned her down and watched her wiggle on the bed he grinned to himself and then kissed her deeply. From there he began pulling every last scrap of fabric off of her.

In no time she was exposed to him and he began pawing at her body. He started with her breast, he played with them like he was mesmerized and Rey let out a long low moan. “Ugh- don’t stop doing that-” she sighed out. He grinned, enjoying the state she was in and anticipating just how far he was going to push her. “Yeah? You want more?” He asked in a serious tone.

Rey focused on how low his voice was and it made her eyes roll into the back of her skull. Finally she shook her head yes. Kylo let out a heavy chuckle “hmf, so it looks like I’m going to have to teach you how to use your words-” he said leaning in close to her. He pinched one of her nipples hard and then whispered in her ear “well, that’s alright.”

His words made her moan loudly and she became aware he hadn’t even really started yet. Kylo then leaned down and began sucking on the nipple he was just playing with. She ran her hands through his hair wondering how she would survive this.

Kylo then began traveling down further kissing and nibbling his way down. Rey squirmed preparing herself for what he was about to do. As he approached the area that so desperately needed attention, Kylo suddenly pulled away by sitting up. He grabbed her ankles, one in each hand, raising them up.

He kissed her right ankle and began traveling down her leg to her knee and her thigh. When he reached her thigh he licked until nearly reaching the desired location. Kylo sat up again doing the same to the other leg. The anticipation was killing Rey, he had taken so long to get her in bed and now after all this waiting he still was playing with her.

Kylo, sensing her unrest chucked again. “Are you ready, Rey?”

Rey took in a harsh breath, bracing herself. “Mmhmm-” she muttered. Kylo leaned in close and grabbed her face gently “use your words.” He ordered. Rey stifled her moan, she expected a lot but she never anticipated this. “Yes- I’m ready.” She moaned out. Kylo chuckled, kissing the side of her face and then whispered in her ear “good.”

The praise made Rey feel unhinged and she couldn’t have stopped the moan that came from her mouth even if she tried. Then before she formulated her next thought he was diving between her legs to begin prepping her.

His tongue was soft and fast. She squirmed trying to find something to hold onto, she gripped the bedsheets as her anchor and turned her head downwards to watch him work. His head bobbed rhythmically causing Rey’s stomach to clench. She couldn’t help but keep fidgeting in her attempts to cope with the pleasure. This caused great annoyance to Kylo who was trying hard to work- so, he grabbed her thighs pulling her in close. His large hands held her in place, refusing her the right to move even if she wanted to.

Right as Rey began getting used to the sensation of his tongue he removed a hand from her thigh to insert a finger into her now sopping wet hole. She clenched hard and moved swiftly grabbing a fist full of his hair to steady herself, using the other arm to now prop herself up giving her a better view of him working.

He went back to eating her out while continuing to finger her. Rey tried to breathe deeply, last time he did this to her she came more violently than she had in her entire life. Kylo worked thoroughly pushing his fingers into just the right spot- pulling out one moan louder than the last.

Right as Rey felt she was about to climax, Kylo pulled away from her. She panted heavily and tried to regain the ability to think. He then leaned in close again kissing her neck feverishly “ugh- I need to be inside of you.”

Rey gripped onto him tightly embracing the feeling of his mouth on her neck. “Rey, please-” he begged. She held onto him tighter moaning out “yes, kirff- just do it already.”

Kylo pulled away from her, pushing her into the mattress in the process. Rey laid there in awe watching him tug his pants down. His cock sprung out of his pants directly pointing at Rey, she gulped at its size realizing in no galaxy was it going to fit.

Kylo tugged at it a bit and leaned down closer to Rey. He stuck two fingers into her, finishing the process of getting her ready and then pulled them back out. Finally, after what felt like a millennium of anticipation Kylo Ren grabbed Rey’s waist with one hand and with the other hand guided the tip of his cock into her entrance.

Rey’s whole body jolted and she gasped for air. She grabbed his strong arm with one hand digging her nails into his skin and grabbed the sheets with her other hand. Kylo then leaned in closer to her and began pumping just the tip into her entrance.

He did this for a moment causing her whole body to tense with pleasure. After some time he was able to push in a little further. “Ugh- I don’t think it’s going to fit.” He moaned into her ear, causing Rey’s whole body to shudder. Kylo now hung over her, slipping a hand behind her back pulling her in closer. This helped and he pushed in deeper, still only managing to press in half his length into her.

The sensations were overwhelming in a perfect way. The heat of his body, the coldness of her sweat and the feeling of the sweat on his back as she ran her hand across it. The sounds her body made as he pumped in and out of her was intoxicating in a disgusting way. A sound she enjoyed even more was how he panted into her ear.

Rey let out moans loud enough to fill the entire room and she had the thought she was grateful he had his own wing in the base. Kylo took note covering her mouth while continuing to pound into her. “You’re too loud, Rey” he growled into her ear “do you want the entire base to know you’re in here?” He asked with what seemed to be genuine irritation.

This didn’t work the way Kylo intended as it only made Rey moan louder. He kept his hand over her mouth as he continued. Rey’s eyes rolled into the back of her skull and as he grew more aggressive with each stroke she grabbed his headboard holding on for dear life.

He was nearly ready to finish but prioritized Rey’s pleasure and pushed further. He removed the hand from her mouth realizing that was doing nothing for the sounds she was making. He grabbed the top of her head to stretch her neck towards him and then placed his mouth on it licking and biting.

Rey shuddered at the sensation finally giving into her building orgasm. Kylo growled, pushing through the feeling of her shaking below him. When he couldn’t take it any longer he pulled out cumming all over her stomach.

Kylo looked down at her grinning to himself at how worn out she looked. Rey struggled to come back to reality lost in the intensity of the orgasm. Finally she opened her eyes to see him still gazing down at her.

They locked eyes, both of their expressions told the same story. This was only the beginning.

Chapter Text

Kylo awoke feeling groggy. His large window showed a painted sky and a setting sun, he rolled over to see Rey passed out beside him. So that wasn’t a dream?

Kylo smirked to himself, it had gone even better than the million times he’d imagined it. She was so much more perfect and incredible than he’d even hoped for. He never accounted for how strong her build would be, it was so intoxicating. Kirff- he covered his face with his hand, he was blushing. What an embarrassment…

He hoped he pleased her. Kylo wanted nothing more than for her to be fully satisfied in his presence. He wanted to show her comfortability she’d never known in the hopes she’d get attached. It was more apparent than ever the lengths he’d go for this to continue.

Maker, he was in too deep. But, as The Supreme Leader, who was to stop him? Only him. That’s right- he needed to control himself, he needed to make sure he didn’t get too sidetracked. It was best he grounded himself, Kylo got out of bed and put on a pair of sweatpants. As he began walking towards his meditation mat he turned to look at Rey.

Her golden skin was illuminated by the setting sun and her long messy chestnut hair lay scattered. Kylo longed to touch both. She looked so peaceful, he wondered if he would ever be able to bring her peace like that. Kylo shook his head. Thoughts like that were why he should meditate.

As Kylo walked over to the mat he wondered why his anxiety still overwhelmed him. Didn’t he have everything he ever wanted? He sat assessing the knot in his stomach. Kylo Ren was the Supreme Leader, he held the entire galaxy in the palm of his hand. In his first day of leadership he squashed The Resistance, and despite all of that Rey still came back to him.

He closed his eyes and then breathed deeply. So, what was not right within the force? He reached out searching for a moment. Something twisted in his chest- It felt like something truly dark was coming for him, but what was it? He sat on his mediation mat trying to identify the energy.

Something had shifted in the force with his and Rey’s unspoken connection blossoming, that he could sense clearly. This shift was the key to the bigger picture. Despite understanding this now, he still couldn’t see clearly.

Kylo tried to relax, breath deeper. But, the anxiety in his chest felt like an ancient poison. The venom placed in his blood like a birthright, it had lived within him for as long as he could remember. It was something he’d always been in touch with. Yet, its steady beat grew louder in his head. A darkness ever present that for some reason was gaining power. But, why was it growing now?

“Darkness rises and light to meet it.” Snokes words came to him in a moment of clairaudience. That was that answer, he could feel it. How is that the answer? What did that mean? If he could feel something darker than himself… was he falling towards the light?

Kylo pressed the fear down and explored the thought deeper. What could possibly be darker than himself? Was Kylo truly shifting towards the light, would that be his ruin? Would he lose all his power? Yes, he could feel this darkness- but it wasn’t his own he realized. He reached further and further into the force, desperate for answers, pushing back at whatever was trying to block him from seeing the truth.

That was it- he identified something. There was a presence actively blocking him from perceiving it. There was only one being in the galaxy he knew of who could do that. His realization must be false, it wasn’t possible, he couldn’t allow it to be true. Kylo pushed back at the energy, engaging in a psychic warfare of strength, in attempts to reveal the identity of the darkness.

His desperation for answers began bubbling to the surface. He tried hard to contain it but the energy was too much, it pushed back at him with a biting rage. The darkness of the energy began shaking things around him in reaction to his intense emotions. He pushed it down further and further but the action only applied more pressure and Kylo didn’t know how to stop it. It was all too much to handle and he was losing control. The force swept under him lifting him into the air.

The intense energy woke Rey violently. She bolted up in bed to find the ground shaking below her and Kylo sitting on air. The thickness of the energy blocked her ability to think. “Ben!” She called out.

She leapt from the bed, grabbing Kylos discarded shirt and putting it on to cover herself. Rey approached him slowly, it was like a tornado of raw force energy encased him. She felt the density of the darkness, striking an unknown fear into her heart. She didn’t know what to do, she didn’t understand what was happening.

Instincts kicked in. Rey reached out her hand, a symbolic gesture, and felt the light within herself. It was pure and bright and she pictured the same light in Ben Solo that she still vehemently believed existed- and then found it. Rey anchored to his force signature exploring the energy, taken back by how easily her energy locked with his. She felt his force signature as if it was her own.

The force began lifting her into the air the same as Ben. She locked tightly to his energy, picturing it clearly in her mind. It was a light tightly compacted into a ball surrounded by true darkness. Yet, a light so real and full of love it striked emotion deep in Rey’s soul. Tears began to flow from both of their eyes as Rey held onto his light. Kylo instinctually clung to her, desperate for the way she touched his soul.

She struggled to hold on. In sacrifice the force reflected her energy back to her- forcing her to see herself. Rey’s energy mirrored Ben’s in perfect synchronicity. In her core was a darkness so volatile and savage. Yet, it was surrounded by the most angelic light. Kylo could now visualize her the way she could see him and they began to harmonize.

In their moment of balance a shock wave was sent out. The force let go and they both fell to the ground. Kylo landed in his sitting position as Rey hurdled violently through the air, banging her head on the ground as she met it. It was as if all the energy had been sucked from the room and there was nothing left but silence and revelation.

Kylo scrambled crawling over to Rey. Rey sat up somewhat rubbing her head, Kylo reached her lifting her up and cradling her in his arms. “Are you alright?” He asked, brushing the hair from her face. His genuine concern took over his rationality.

She pressed her head into his chest. “I’m fine, what was that?” Kylo felt dizzy from the energy, not knowing how to respond. Should he be honest? He didn’t know the truth himself, what was there to lose?

“I fear there is someone more powerful than myself. Someone who I believed to be long dead.” He gazed out the window, the sun was nearly set. Rey grabbed his shoulder “what do you mean?”

“Rey, our connection has made me stronger. Here, right now, we are the strongest we’ve ever been, I feel within the force our ability to synchronize. Through this growing strength I began recognizing something. A darkness within myself existing outside of me.” He explained, still holding her tightly.

“I still don’t understand,” Rey said, intently listening. “I am the outcome of all the mistakes ever made by Anakin Skywalker. He was born to destroy the old ways, his children were born to continue that quest. I was born to uphold their lessons and make sure the past stays dead. I’ve always understood this, now if my fears are reality, my destiny is more clear than ever.” Kylo explained with a grit behind his voice.

Rey began to lose herself in his story, her fascination with all he is and her understanding of how he became who he was today. She knew there was more to learn about him and she was hungry to consume all he’d give her. “What do you fear?” She asked, gently caressing his face. He pressed into it savoring her touch. He breathed deeply taking in the comfort she provided.

“I fear my family's greatest enemy is still alive.”

Chapter Text

Rey had hit her head very hard. It was the type of pain that sent shockwaves down your body if you moved in the wrong way. Kylo lifted her up and gently laid her back in the bed. He sat on the edge of bed and brushed his hands softly against her skin in attempts to comfort her.

Rey let out a sigh of relief, embracing his touch. After the intimacy of what they just experienced, Rey found no reason not to. She acknowledged she was beginning to trust him again, which made her nervous. However, she couldn’t help herself. No one had ever touched her so gently and deep down she desired for it to continue.

“I’m going to have an ice pack sent up for you, I’ll be right back.” Kylo explained, he held her arm for a moment. Kylo’s heart raced with concern for her, and as he stood he had to push down the instinct to kiss her forehead before exiting the room. He left swiftly, focusing on the ice pack.

Rey laid in the bed wincing at her pain. Despite the discomfort, she embraced the feeling of being taken care of. It was like a drug. It was unsettling, wonderful, and scary all at the same time. She tried to focus on the bigger picture. What had just happened? Who was Kylo talking about? Were the visions of their souls true? If so, what did it all mean?

Feeling warm, she sat up taking Ren’s shirt off and tossed it to the floor. He’d seen her breast twice at this point, no reason to sit around and be uncomfortable. If her head didn’t ache so bad she would have slapped her own face at that thought. She was more uncomfortable with being warm than Kylo kirffing Ren seeing her boobs. What reality was she living in? She questioned if she should put the shirt back on.

Rey let her mind spiral until Kylo came back. He walked in with the ice pack and a tea tray. He set the tray on the bedside table and grabbed the ice pack from it. Kylo sat close to Rey holding the ice pack to the spot of her head she had impacted.

“Thank you,” Rey mumbled. “You’re welcome,” Kylo replied in a soft tone. Rey felt the cold on her head and enjoyed the relief. She watched as Kylo grabbed a tea cup from the tray, the cup looking so tiny in his hand. He sipped the drink gazing off into the distance. Rey took the ice pack from him. He moved his hand away hesitantly, she could tell he was still dazed.

“What just happened?” Rey asked, trying to meet his eyes in the dark room. Kylo looked down with a concerned look on his face. “You know better than anyone, Rey. There are people in the galaxy who’d like to see my downfall. I’m facing the very real possibility of an internal rebellion within The First Order. It doesn't take a genius to figure out they are being led by General Hux. However, something has eluded me- who is backing him?” Kylo turned from her, losing himself in thought.

Rey was surprised he was sharing this information so willingly, he really must not perceive The Resistance as a threat. Despite his willingness to share, Rey did actually already know that information. She sat up groaning, holding the blankets close to cover herself, the discomfort of how badly she ached was written across her face. Her body sore in ways that had nothing to do with her recent head injury.

Kylo registered her discomfort as she sat up. “Are you alright?” He turned to her, examining the exposed parts of her body. Rey stifled her nervous laughter “I’m okay, just um-” she was glad the room was dark so he couldn’t see her blush, “I’m very sore.”

It was like Rey had been hit by a speeder. Her thighs felt stiff and from her lower back down it felt like she had been torn in half. Rey swore she gained flexibility from her recent activities. Her entrance was throbbing in a terribly pleasant way, and Rey felt mortified in the way she relished in her pain. That’s truly what it was- pain. Everything hurt as if her body had been rearranged and then put back together. Unfortunately, she loved the feeling.

Kylo turned and covered his face with his hand. “My apologies.” He mumbled into his hand. Rey laughed, grinning like a child. He turned to her confused, “why are you laughing?” Which only caused Rey to laugh more.

“I just find it amusing when you apologize. “The mighty Kylo Ren” apologizing for being too rough with his arch nemesis. It just- ah- well I appreciate the apology.” Rey sighed, it seemed every second that passed their boundaries became less and less. It felt so completely natural and good to be blunt and honest, to tease him and be… normal.

Kylo stared at her puzzled, he supposed her words made sense. He had been apologizing a lot to her lately, and that was odd. Kylo Ren didn’t apologize to anyone. And yet, here he was continuously doing so to his “arch-nemesis.” Well certainly that couldn’t be the truth anymore. Then, what were they?

They didn’t want to kill each other personally. It was still their duty to, more so hers than his. But Kylo hoped she’d grown a little more attached to him in the past few days and maybe that duty would be harder to follow through on. Still they fought on opposite sides of a war, one Kylo felt confident he was winning. Did she really think The Resistance still stood a chance? If she could understand her ship was sinking would she finally join him? Would she understand that if what he believed to be true, was true, the danger that lies ahead was much more dangerous than The First Order?

“My brain was quiet. For the first time in my life- silence. But, now… I fear the voices are back and I’m terrified of the implications.” Kylo said in a hollow voice, gazing out his dark window. Rey leaned in closer, desiring to know more. “Voices?” She asked.

“When I was a small- very small- child, I began having nightmares. They were always the same, I was being chased by darkness. It came in many forms, sometimes it was him- Darth Vader. Sometimes it was of my Uncle dying, and it was my fault. Or it was my parents admitting to hating me. In the beginning it was just black smoke and blue lightning that would tear though my dream body until I awoke-”

Kylo sat breathing heavily, bearing his soul in a way he never had before. It was terrifying to be this open but now that he started he couldn’t stop. Rey watched in shock as he continued on. “I would scream, waking my parents up. They were so scared. At first it was for me, but then it developed into fear of me. My father didn’t want me to go with my Uncle, he’d argue with my mother endlessly. It'd be best I stayed away from all this “woo-woo nonsense” as he’d say.” It felt strange speaking of his father this way.

Rey watched in gripping fascination, honored by his vulnerability. “As my powers grew so did their fear, and we began seeing my father less and less. He fell into old habits, gambling and smuggling. I wondered where the war hero I learned about in school went. My mother did her best but I was hardly a priority. I’d open up to her about my visions and despite her encouraging words I could see in her eyes I scared her. I knew her and my Uncle whispered the words “like vader” behind my back.” The reality of himself was coming back like a tidal wave and the emotions began bubbling forward.

“So they sent me to live with my Uncle, three years earlier than intended. As my powers grew so did the voices. All the things the voices told me in my youth had come true. My parents were separated and scared of me. I was being compared to a dead man I never met. The only thing left was the destruction of my uncle…” The memories had the answers he was looking for. His compulsive obsession with history became more clear than ever.

“The voices became louder and louder, until I could no longer contain my insanity. It came out in my training. I’d always been too emotional to be a jedi. Anger and regret had no place at the temple, the more my Uncle Luke told me to release my anger the angrier I became.” Kylo’s voice began to shake as the memories came back to him. “Didn’t I have a right to be angry? I had lost everything. I was alone, and even the people who claimed to love me had turned their backs on me. The only thing I had left were the voices, they had at least been honest with me…”

Rey understood this anger, the feeling of the most desolate isolation. She began realizing something as he spoke. Just because you’re surrounded by people, it doesn't make you not alone. It was a loneliness she could feel burning in her chest. The abandonment of those who still stood beside you was not that different from those who left you completely.

Rey moved closer to him, drawing circles on his exposed skin. “I understand.” Kylo let out a massive sigh, burying his head in his hands. “Thank you.” He cried as Rey continued comforting him.

Eventually, Rey moved over and adjusted the cover indicating silently for him to lay back down. Kylo hesitated but eventually climbed back into the bed overwhelmed, laying on his back. Rey laid on her side facing him, close to him but not enough to touch. The silence lasted a long time, Rey closed her eyes thinking maybe they’d fall asleep.

“You were alone on Jakku- how did that happen?” He asked tentatively. Rey fluttered her eyes open. “I don’t really know the full story- it’s like you said, I’m a nobody.” Rey felt a bit scorned he was bringing that back up again. She laid on her back, shifting away from him. Kylo responded by turning on his side to face her.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” He insisted, feeling emotional that she was letting her emotions get in the way of her thinking. “I meant it as a compliment.”

Rey laughed bitterly. “Well, then you have some way of complimenting others.” This was their dynamic, Rey becoming entrapped by his soft side just to receive whiplash from forgetting how annoying he could be.

“I offered to let you rule the galaxy with me! How is that not a compliment?” He asked with a strange amount of sincerity. Rey rolled over to look at him, their faces now merely inches apart. “Because you literally told me, and I quote: you have no place in this story, you are nothing.” She said with a bite in her voice.

Kylo tenderly grabbed the side of her face “but, not to me.” He said finding her eyes in the darkness. Rey didn’t understand, “what?”

“But, not to me.” Kylo looked at her blank confusion “that’s what I said.” Rey blinked at him with curiosity. Yes, she had heard him say it. Yet, she still couldn’t understand it fully.

“The whole galaxy could toss you aside, pretend you don’t exist. Your parents might have not been important, perhaps it felt like your life before you left Jakku was meaningless. But, to me, none of that matters. Everything about you is important to me, everything about you fascinantes me. I’d place my odds on you being the most powerful woman in the galaxy, and that’s who I want at my side. That’s what I meant, I’m sorry I didn't say it better when I had the chance.” Kylo looked at her dreamily and before he could say anything else Rey had leaned in gently kissing him.

Kylo followed her lead, he grabbed her waist pulling her in closely. The soft kisses accelerated turning into passionate ones. Kylo explored her back with his hand, his rough fingers tracing her smooth skin. Rey ran her fingers through his hair, pushing herself into his body. They kissed and kissed until they both ran out of breath. As Rey pulled away she whispered “thank you.” Into his lips so that he could feel her speak.

Kylo’s skin tingled at the sensation of her words. “So, I will protect the entire galaxy, if that’s what it takes to keep you safe.” They were past the point of no return.

Rey pulled back a bit, gazing into his eyes. “What do you mean?” She asked. Kylo gave her a serious look, “this has all been to say one simple thing. I’ve discovered the owner of the voice in my head. He orchestrated my rise and fall, he has meddled with my family and this galaxy for the last time. I will uphold the Skywalker Legacy and I will put an end to his reign. You empower me, and with that empowerment I will protect the galaxy to protect you and free us all.” The intensity of Kylo’s voice scared Rey, she held onto him tighter.

“What are you saying, Ben?” She asked, gripping his arm, drunk off his words. “The Emperor is still alive, he is the one funding The First Order’s internal rebellion. Together we will discover him, and end him once and for all. What do you say, Rey? Will you join me?” There was a tremor in his voice, revealing his fear of being rejected by her again.

She gazed into his eyes, she saw the path to the light shining through them. Rey hoped her friends would forgive her for this. She saw now this was bigger than herself, bigger than Kylo Ren, bigger than The Resistance and The First Order. There was no other way, and there was no point in pretending she wasn’t tied to Ben Solo’s fate.

She kissed him deeply. “I will join you.”

Chapter Text

The days that followed were filled with victory. Kylo and Rey found their powers enhanced and more attuned to the force than ever. The force energy they channeled was pure, clean, and raw all at the same time.

Rey was amused with Kylo’s fascination and his endless note taking. They would wake up, meditate, do training combat and then: notes. Lots and lots of notes. Kylo asked her every fathomable relevant question. Rey had only been begging the force to find her a thorough teacher. Well, she finally did, which meant it came along with questions like:

“Your soreness from last night's activities… on a scale from one to ten how would you rate it as a distraction from today's training?” Rey threw her practice staff at him, missing and hitting the floor with a clang and long roll to the end of the room. He looked up from his holopad unfazed and unamused. Rey rolled her eyes, “a six.”

They spent more time with the flowers. Their growth was impressive, the lab attendants had even been able to harvest their seeds. Kylo had the bright idea to plant some near Anakin’s grave. Together Rey and Kylo visited the grave again, this time Kylo told her about his grandmother.

“She was only fourteen when she became queen?” Rey asked in awe. Kylo shook his head “some said she was the most charismatic woman in the whole galaxy. She liberated her home planet, Naboo, and united its species all in the same day.” The pair reached the fallen log, together they began walking across it to the other side of the ravine.

As they crossed, Rey tried to picture the woman in her mind. “What did she look like?” She asked. Kylo thought for a moment, “Dark brown wavy hair, brown eyes, fair skin. She was known for beauty along with her vast intelligence. There was some senate paper I read somewhere that compared her to an angel.” Kylo stated plainly. Rey analyzed Kylo’s features as they crossed together. So that’s where he inherited his looks from, she thought smiling to herself.

Kylo offered her a hand, helping her down from the log. She took it happily and continued their walk.

“Thank you for always helping me cross.” She smiled at him. Kylo smiled back “of course. But, only because you worry me, Rey.”

She rolled her eyes at him “why?” Kylo placed a hand on her hip, pulling her in as they walked. “Because, I doubt you swim very well and I don’t want to get all wet jumping in to save you!” He laughed.

Rey playfully pushed him away from him. “I can swim, sleemo!” She insisted. Kylo laughed, “I said you probably can’t swim well, not that you’re incapable.”

Rey sighed, “fine, I’m not the greatest swimmer in the galaxy.” Kylo grabbed her waist pulling her back in, “that’s alright, I’ll teach you. There’s a beautiful lake not too far from here, I’ll take you sometime soon.”

Rey smiled, “I’d like that actually.” The pair beamed looking at each other blushing. “Now what was the point about your grandmother you were trying to make?” she asked, nervously changing the subject.

“Right! It’s ironic my grandfather was married to such a pacifist,” Kylo chuckled. “Padme led the opposition to The Military Creation Act. But, she lost the votes. Which allowed The Grand Army of The Republic to be created. The very army Anakin would join and fight in. An army in a war that would end with him losing everything he intended to protect.” There was sadness in Kylo’s voice as he explained. Rey found Kylo’s connection to the story just as fascinating as the story itself.

“Historically, it’s recorded that my grandmother lost her life in childbirth, but the social conclusion was that Vader had done something to end her life on purpose. I don’t agree with that.” He informed her as they approached his grave.

“Why not?” Rey asked. The pair sat down beside it, placing their gardening tools next to them. “Anakin loved Padme more than anything.” Kylo said simply. Silence hung in the air as they observed the force around them, it was as if the energy changed. It seemed the force energy that lingered around Anakin’s grave agreed with him.

“How do you know that?” Rey questioned, “despite the obvious, of course.” Kylo nodded as if it was a good question to ask. He began meddling with the gardening tools as he spoke.

“My mother, of course, believed Luke when he told her the truth of their heritage. But, she wanted to know more, she wanted to know who her mother was. She started researching everything she could about Anakin and Padme, she stored all she collected in our home library. My mother found a series of letters Anakin had written to Padme. I then found them as a young teenager while being curious.” Kylo put on the gardening gloves and began digging at dirt next to the grave.

Rey listened in excited anticipation. “What did the letters say?” Kylo laughed a bit at the question. “They were… dramatic. One line always stood out to me, it said: Padme, The Force itself dims in comparison to the warmth of your light. I think those words perfectly capture who my grandfather was before he turned to the dark side.” Kylo finished explaining at the same time he finished planting the seeds and covering them back up.

“Ben-” Rey said, Kylo still hadn’t addressed her using his birth name. She seemed to only use it in specific moments. Kylo was still trying to understand, why?

“You idolize Vader so much. Always trying to figure out who he was and how he became so powerful. I think you already know. Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker. To understand Vader is to understand Anakin. To reject Anakin is to reject Vader. If you really want to know him, you have to know all of him.” Rey explained as if it was simple.

But, her words made sense to Kylo. Perhaps, that was why she called him Ben.
It was sort of obvious, but in his deep intrenchment of darkness he supposed that must have been too difficult to see. As he collected the gardening tools to head back to the base he found the words deeply impacting him. Kylo would have to meditate on this. He reminded himself this was why it was so important to keep Rey around.

That wasn’t the only important reason he was keeping Rey around. In the days that passed they filled their time with training, history lessons, flower studies, good conversations and lots and lots of sex.

It seemed to become their natural response to almost everything. An aggressive training session- far too similar to sex. Inevitably one of them became pinned to a wall or the floor, and when that happened something had to be done about it. It would just start out as kissing, but then kissing became not enough. This led to doors being locked. blinds being closed, and a total misuse of the training space.

Then you had history lessons, which reminded Rey how intelligent she found Kylo. Which was pretty kirffing hot to Rey. So, something would have to be done about that too. It would start with Rey moving closer to him, advancing to inappropriate behavior on Rey’s part. That then turned into Kylo scolding her for not paying attention. Which she liked, so that didn’t help anything get back on track. That turned into more scolding, which turned into sex.

In those moments she began learning about control, which she enjoyed. She had been learning a lot of things. Like what positions feel best, how wide she needed to open her mouth, and how much she could take before it became too much. Which seemed like never enough.

They never ended up sleeping alone again, and sex seemed to be enhancing their mental connection which made them stronger in training. So that was a good enough justification and excuse to keep doing it. It also felt incredible, Rey never knew this is what sex would be like. Kylo, despite his many previous experiences, also found it compelling that sex could be this good.

This pattern of waking up, breakfast together, morning training, eating lunch, studying, eating dinner, having sex and going to bed became the routine. It all suddenly became… normal.

Finally, the day came for Kylo to teach her how to swim. The lake was stunning, tucked away in the tall redwood forest. The light shined through illuminating the water, at the far end of the lake was a small waterfall which caused small ripples throughout the lake. The lake was connected to several small streams that fed and watered the forest, Kylo explained.

“It’s the heart of the forest!” Rey exclaimed. Kylo smiled at her “I suppose it is.”

The water was cold and Rey was nervous to fully submerge herself. She toed at the edge of the lake watching Kylo walk in to about his torso. He eyed her nervously stepping around the edge. “Rey-” he called out “-you can just walk in. It doesn't get deep for a while and when it does I’ll be right next to you!” Kylo encouraged.

Rey placed an annoyed hand on her hip. “Yeah, but- it’s going to be cold. I’m used to being fully clothed when swimming. Not in whatever you just dressed me in…” She said rolling her eyes and gesturing at her brown bikini.

Kylo laughed. “That is normal swimming attire, the less you’re wearing the easier you’ll move in the water.” He explained.

Rey gave him a pouty lip, unconvinced. She finally began walking into the water, shivering. “Whatever you say, pervert. Just ask to see me naked next time-” as Rey reached him he grabbed her waist pulling her in close. She appreciated the warmness of his skin “-I’d probably let you.” She said as Kylo pulled her into a kiss. “Good.” He said as their lips broke apart, holding onto each other's wet bodies tightly.

“Now, behave- once you figure out how to swim I will deal with you.” He taunted. Rey pushed away from him “you’re the worst.” She insisted. He smiled “yes, I am.”

The lesson went well, Kylo was a good teacher. Surprisingly, patient and supportive. They both had dangerous thoughts during their lesson that day. Thoughts of: this was moving too fast. They were far too close and casual. They liked each other too much. It was the most relaxed either one had ever been. It was the happiest they had ever been. And they both were violently aware.

They didn’t talk about this though. They didn’t have the words and the fear was too much. Now that they started it couldn’t be stopped. Its natural progression was beautiful and real. Authenticity neither had ever felt. Sincerity in every touch and word, and for the first time in their lives the rest of the world faded away.

It was intoxicating and special and very human. It was real and so terrifying. So it was better to be left unsaid. Rey had agreed to join him in helping defeat the emperor, but what would happen after that? Were they strong enough to be without each other? Neither one of them knew, and they desperately didn’t want to find out. They would give anything to have this moment last forever.

This unspoken sadness began to permeate their lesson. They knew the other was aware of it, but they couldn’t speak of it. Eventually they swam to the other end of the lake, reaching the waterfall. They swam under it, discovering a small shallow cave behind it.

They leaned against its smooth walls, still sitting in the shallow water. They sat in silence and Rey leaned against Kylo as he wrapped his arm around her waist. Too fast, too real, too unstoppable. They tried, they really gave it their all, but it was obviously inevitable.

Eventually, Kylo leaned down kissing her neck. She surrendered to his touch, embracing it. He moved to face her fully, she leaned up kissing him passionately and they moved without words. They didn’t need them, their connection and bond said everything.

Kylo ran his hands up her body up to her hair, tangling his hands in it and pulling her into a deep kiss. Too fast, not enough. They needed each other desperately and their bodies moved to match their hearts desire.

In no time they were stripping the little clothing they had on- off. Kylo entered her quickly and Rey moaned into his mouth. She had gotten better at taking all of him, but the sensation was still perfectly overwhelming.

His thrust were powerful and unhinged. Rey took it all happily, savoring the feeling of being this desired. They kissed roughly as he continued to have his way with her. Her moans filled the small cave echoing erotically.

They needed as much of each other as humanly possible. They held onto each other as if it was possible to fuse their souls into one. It was emotional and powerful, the wrongness of it all making it that much more intoxicating.

Rey felt her muscles tighten and her eyes roll into the back of her skull. “Ugh- I’m gonna cum-” she cried out. “Good-” he moaned into her ear “show me how much you love it, Rey. Show me.” He instructed her.

It felt so good Rey began to weep “uhh- yes. It’s so good, please please please- don’t stop. Close- so close-” she moaned, holding onto him tightly burying her head into his shoulder clawing up his back. Her moans filled Kylo with determination, he hit her with two more powerful thrust and with that she came violently.

He held her through it as her whole body shaked, still rutting into her until he came. He let out a long deep moan into her ear as he finished. They breathed violently as they came down, still clinging onto each other.

Kylo kissed her neck up to her mouth. The desperation that they pressed into each other's lips was pure and they both knew that they were too far gone to ever come back.

Chapter Text

In the days that followed, Kylo began acknowledging he’d been away from his post for far too long. Hux had begun contacting him every other hour trying to figure out where he was, a problem Kylo would leave Patsy to solve.

It seemed his moments of peace were coming to an end. He debated with himself if he was confident enough to bring Rey with him. Kylo daydreamed about dressing her in all black and holding back grins as she bossed around his men. As sexy as that sounded, he doubted she’d be up for the job. He understood her joining him had more to do with The Emperor's return than it did with his success.

Their training also seemed to be coming to a plateau. They’d sparred each other so much and became so attuned that it became impossible to land a blow on each other. Rey was beginning to have a proficient understanding of his family's past and how that tied into galactic history. So, the next step was to train her to be a leader in this war. Which he knew she’d be reluctant to, and the only way to do that was bring her with him. Kylo was at an impasse.

Kylo had sent his Knights out to try and find the location of the emperor. This had largely been unsuccessful, which led to him and Rey raiding his archive library for answers. They spent two whole days going through holos and dusty books. Until, Kylo found something that might help them.

He sauntered over to Rey who was sitting on a large old leather couch reading. Kylo sat near her handing her the tome, “Look at this-” Kylo said, letting Rey examine the dusty book. She scanned the pages carefully, making confused expressions as she read and analyzed the drawn pictures. “Is it a holocron?” She asked curiously.

“No. It's a Sith Wayfinder. Hypothetically, this pyramid-shaped artifact contains precise navigational data encoded with ancient Sith algorithms. They resemble holocrons but serve a different function—while holocrons store knowledge, wayfinders act as star charts with pathways through dangerous, uncharted space.” Kylo explained carefully.

Rey looked at him confused, and without explanation or permission got up and sat in on his lap. Kylo pulled her in close, resting his chin on her shoulder so he could look at the pages as well.

“So, you think The Emperor is hiding in uncharted space?” Rey asked. Kylo made an annoyed face to himself, “it would explain how he was capable of staying hidden for so long.” There was silence for a moment as they both looked over the book.

Rey could feel him growing hard beneath her. She playfully rolled her eyes, turning to face him “is now really the time for this?” Kylo sighed giving her a pitiful look “you sat on my lap? What did you expect?”

Rey laughed, “I expected you would have a better view of the book and you’d focus on the galaxy's impending doom.” Kylo buried his face into her chest. “Impending doom is happening later…” he sighed, his words muffled between her breasts. “You sitting on my lap is now.”

Then he started kissing where her breasts were exposed. Rey tossed the book aside and pulled him in closer. Without stopping his kisses he extended his hand using the force to close and lock the library door. Finding that very sexy, Rey moaned a bit wiggling on his lap.

In no time he had her pinned to the couch. “You’re so responsive, Rey.” He sighed into her ear “so good for me-” Rey grabbed the back of his head pulling him into a deep kiss. “Keep talking to me like that.” Rey begged.

Kylo pulled back, sitting up. He began working her pants off and Rey complied, peeling off her own shirt. Kylo tossed her pants to the floor and then took off his shirt. He grabbed her legs spreading them, he kissed her knee moving down. As he kissed her inner thigh he whispered in a low tone “you like when I boss you around?” He asked- causing Rey to shiver and release a breathy moan.

When Rey didn’t respond he pulled away from her and grabbed her face, forcing her to make eye contact with him. “When I ask you a question, you have to answer me or I will stop- do you understand, Rey?” His voice was low and deadly, reminding Rey of when they were in combat. She stifled a moan “I understand,” she said just barely getting the words out. Her body and mind felt like it was on fire.

“Good girl-” he grunted out, releasing her face, returning to kissing her thighs. Rey let out nervous laughter as he began pulling her panties off, fully exposing her. She couldn’t believe he was making her feel so good while just barely touching her.

“This is your own fault, Rey. You distracted me, and now I have to teach you a lesson.” Kylo explained, lightly biting her inner thigh. Rey moaned loudly “please, please teach me a lesson-” she panted out, “one I won’t forget.”

Rey’s words filled Kylo with confidence. He chuckled deeply “oh, you’re in for it now, Rey.” He said grabbing her waist and flipping her to her stomach. Kylo pulled her hips upwards so that she was on all fours, and without warning he began eating her out from behind.

Rey gasped as she felt his tongue, it felt so incredible and Rey squirmed trying to stay in the position he put her in. He had taken her from behind once before, but that night he had been gentle as he could be with her- as if he was afraid to break her. That night she was so overwhelmed with the experience she happily took what he gave. Today, she wanted more.

He pulled back right as Rey started to climax. Rey groaned frustrated. He leaned close to her ear “I told you, you’re being punished.” Rey’s entire face went red. It was one thing that she was allowing him to have sex with her. Letting him- enjoying him, doing this was something else entirely. The whole perverted act only made her want him more.

Before Rey could examine her current position any further she felt the sharp pain of his hand hitting her ass- hard. She collapsed a bit burying her face into the couch, still keeping her ass up for him to hopefully hit again. “Maker- please…” she railed off.

“Did you like that, Rey?” He asked, grinning at the red handprint on her pale skin. “Ugh, so much-” she mumbled into the cushions. “Good.” He explained giving her other cheek a matching handprint. Rey cried out in pleasure.

“Please- fuck me already.” She begged. Kylo grabbed her waist and pulled her in to grind against her “please.” She begged, again. Kylo released her and stood up to take his pants off. He was so hard from torturing her, he had held off for as long as he could. She’d asked so politely, how could he refuse any longer?

He guided his tip to her entrance- she was soaked. Rey moaned as he pumped just the tip of his cock into her. Kylo decided he’d make her ask one more time as he slowly and methodically pushed ever so slightly into her. Rey propped herself up on her elbows holding onto the edge of the couch trying to get him to push deeper into her.

His edging began to drive her crazy. “More-” she demanded. It wasn’t the same as begging in Kylo’s opinion, so he spanked her one last time- hard, and then without warning shoved his cock into her as far as possible. Rey basically screamed as he pulled her down on it. It felt beyond good as he pushed into her, seeing just how far he could reach.

From there he continued to pound into her. His thrust were aggressive and strong, Rey decided she loved being fucked like this. Feeling his power over her, letting it consume her just how badly she wanted him- needed him- all of him in every way. Kylo didn’t let up, he wanted her to remember this.

Their fears of the impending war and possible separation spoke through their movements disguised as lust. Kylo needed Rey to understand his desire for her, he needed her to know just how badly he wanted her, even if he couldn’t say it. His strokes were nearly violent. But, Rey didn’t mind in the slightest as she continued to beg for more.

It was passionate and hostile. Rey felt like she was being split into two as he continued. Eventually it all became too much and Rey started to shake, “mmmfffph- I’m coming-” she sobbed out. Kylo didn’t let up though, he continued pounding into her as he felt her walls tighten around his cock. “Keep taking it, Rey.” He instructed as she cried out her deep pleasure.

Rey was cumming- hard. Her eyes were shut and she swore as he continued to fuck her through her orgasm she began feeling as if she was out of her body. She couldn’t breath, she couldn’t think, all she could do was enjoy him taking care of her. As Rey was about to be unable to take anymore she felt Kylo take one last aggressive thrust and cum violently into her. It felt too good.

Kylo moaned loudly, collapsing a bit so that his head hung near hers. He moaned and grunted right into Rey’s ear sending shivers down her whole body. He held onto her as they came down from their climax. Finally Kylo pulled out, falling back and sinking into the couch. Rey laid still face down trying to regain consciousness.

They stayed that way for a while. Finally, Kylo sat up checking on Rey. He traced her back “are you alright, sweetheart?” He asked. If Rey hadn't been so dazed she would have acknowledged the pet name. She felt weak trying to sit up, Kylo grabbed her scooping her up into his arms cradling her.

He kissed her face as she clung to him. “You did such a good job- ugh you’re so…” He trailed off not knowing how to express himself. “That was too rough, I’m sorry.” He said caressing her face.

Rey opened her eyes wearily looking up at him “no, it’s okay.” She buried her face into his chest “I liked it.” Kylo wove his fingers through her hair, flustered. “Good, I’m glad-” he sighed out. They sat together embracing the other's energy signature until they grew cold from being unclothed.

Eventually, they began dressing. Kylo tried to remember the topic they were on before... As Kylo watched Rey dress he acknowledged how deeply distracted he’d become.

“Well-” Kylo said, “I fear I need to check in with the government I am in charge of. People are starting to become aware of my absence.” He explained. A knot formed in Rey’s stomach. Right, the war.

Part of Rey wanted to throw a fit, but he was right. They had strayed too far from their duties. “I will send my knights to find this “wayfinder,” and once they do we can begin planning what our next move will be.” Rey tried to respond but didn’t have anything to say. An old thought crept back into her mind: What is your place in all of this?

She watched as he gathered his things. She should check back in with the resistance, but what would she even tell them? What was best for the galaxy? Kylo had made it clear The Emperor's return was the worst possible scenario. But, what did that actually mean?

Then she remembered her friends and her vision. “Ben-” she said as he began exiting the room. He paused, choosing to respond to the name. “What, Rey?” He watched her fiddle nervously with her hands. Rey sat on the couch tapping her foot anxiously, she became terrified her words would ruin whatever this beautiful fragility they shared was.

“I just remembered something-” she admitted. “I had been keeping it from you, since we agreed not to speak of politics.” Kylo let out a heavy sigh. “Alright, what is it?” He asked, walking to sit with her on the couch. Kylo couldn’t muster any anger at her from with-holding information, they had agreed to it, and at least she was sharing it now.

“I knew there was an internal coup before you told me about it-” Rey admitted. Kylo shook his head taking in the information. “The Resistance has been open to working with that group in taking you down. Although, they’ve made no agreements to my knowledge. I believe now, if I informed them that group was working with The Emperor, they would stop assisting that group.” Rey’s voice was shaky, filled with hesitation. If this went wrong, not only could she ruin her relationship with Ben, but she could become a traitor to The Resistance. If she wasn’t already one.

Kylo thought of Rey's words, trying to understand what she was getting at. “My friends informed me of a planet called Exa- Exo… I don’t fully remember. It didn’t seem important at the time. But, I could ask them. They were already searching for who was supporting this coup as a potential ally. I know your mother will never cooperate with The Emperor…” She looked at Kylo with pleading eyes hoping he’d understand what she was going to say next. “Maybe if we explain it all, we could join forces?”

Kylo bolted from his seat “absolutely not.” He insisted, distancing himself from her. Rey sighed, this was not the reaction she was hoping for. She watched as Kylo began pacing the room, she tried to stop herself from panicking. “But, they could help us defeat The Emperor. When your government splits in half and is backed by the most evil force in the galaxy, who are you going to turn to for help?” Rey argued.

Kylo stopped in his tracks rolling his eyes. “Maybe the military forces of all the planets I’ve taken care of in the past year? I’m the most stable leadership the galaxy has seen in living memory, Rey” Kylo insisted.

Rey scoffed, “you think you’ve earned the galaxy’s loyalty in a single year?” Kylo did his best not to glare at her “I do.” He stated confidently.

Rey chewed on her bottom lip avoiding eye contact with him. “Then you underestimate the galaxy's resentment towards authoritarianism.” She stated bluntly. Kylo could feel anger burning in his chest, he did his best to push it down. “I am doing what’s best for the galaxy.” He grunted out.

Rey thought back on the lessons she’d learned over the past few weeks. She thought about his grandmother, Padme, and wondered if this was how she once felt. Rey hoped they weren’t going down that path.

Rey looked at him sympathetically. “Ben-” she said softly, “I want to believe that. I think… I do believe that. But, you are too far removed from the average person to understand the full picture. You could do everything for someone. But, in their heart if they know they lack autonomy… if they never feel the choice was theirs, they will always feel trapped. It is the spirit's most fundamental trait to fight for freedom. If the galaxy doesn't choose its own destiny, it will inevitably rebel against the hand of its creator. No matter how good the intention.”

Kylo’s frustrations finally spilled over. “I’m doing my best- do you understand how long government reform takes? The First Order stood for nothing but maintaining power, I am at least trying to turn it into something maintainable.” He argued.

Rey’s anger twisted in her stomach. “So what’s your plan then? Because from the people's perspective all you’re doing is bullying the smaller bullies. Yes, you’ve cut down large-scale crime. But, you haven’t yet provided any hope of peace. What are you going to do to allow the citizens of this galaxy to feel they have a place in this story? What are you going to do to make sure they sleep well at night?” Rey fought.

“My entire life I was exactly what you said I was… a nobody. Praying for the day someone would come along and just make me feel-” Rey began to tear up, “safe.” She shook her head frustrated “the people of the galaxy still don’t feel safe. They still see you as an extension of Snoke. That’s why they need The Resistance, because if they don’t have a full belly, a warm roof over their heads, or a way to keep their children safe- they can at least have hope. They can at least dream that someday someone will make things better. And if you can’t provide that for them they will always seek it out from someone else. You have all the power, Ben. It’s up to you to do the right thing with it. It is your duty to provide hope.”

Kylo’s emotions churned intensely. Her energy signature resonated in truth, and Kylo wondered how she became so wise. Still, he could never side with The Resistance. They’d destroy everything he’d worked towards, they lacked his vision. He also wouldn’t give his mother the satisfaction to save his life.

Yet, he knew his destiny was intertwined with Rey’s. He saw it so clearly when they touched hands, he knew in the end it would be them together. Back then it seemed so obvious, he thought it meant ruling the galaxy with her at his side. Now with The Emperor's return and his rule under threat, it wasn’t so simple. The Force had brought them together for a reason, they were supposed to work together. He just couldn't see what they were working towards yet.

Destiny had chosen him to rule, destiny had brought her to him. He needed to heed her words, but he couldn’t fully take her advice either. Kylo’s heart raced at the thought of this disagreement pulling them apart. He realized he had become lost in thought, he looked over to Rey who patiently awaited his response. They locked eyes and Rey stood as if she was going to approach him. In the same moment Kylo ran to her getting on one knee taking her hand.

Rey was taken aback but didn’t pull away from him. They gazed into each other’s eyes for a long time without speaking. Rey’s heart raced wondering what he was doing. She wanted more than anything for him to see the light that lived within him. She wanted the whole galaxy to understand his thoughtful intentions. Yet, she knew the thing that held him back was himself. She hoped he’d become a man worth forgiving someday. Rey could feel how close he was to coming back into the light, and she wondered how much longer she could wait for that moment to arrive.

In their vulnerability, they shared a mind.

Kylo held her hand tightly, drawing circles with his thumbs. He mustered all the courage he had. “Rey-” he choked out, “understand, I am completely captured by you. My every thought since we first met leads me back to my want of you. I am fully obsessed with the desire to keep you at my side. I want more than anything to appease you. Yet, I cannot abandon my life's work.” Kylo held onto her hand tightly, gazing into her golden eyes for answers.

Rey couldn’t speak, his words broke her heart and healed it all in the same moment. She fought back tears as he spoke, something she was shocked to see Kylo couldn’t manage as fresh tears began to fall from his face.

“Rey, please-” he said, kissing her hand “stay with me. Promise to stay with me until we come to a compromise. I find myself resentful of how weak I am in your presence. Soft and unable to be the man I once was. But, I fear the man I’d become without you even more-” Now, Kylo Ren was the one begging.

Kylo thought of his grandfather. He wondered if in Padme’s final days Anakin ever pleaded like this. He wondered if he’d give up the power of Darth Vader to be Anakin Skywalker again, to hold Padme one last time.

He kissed her hand again and again. “Rey, please- allow me to become the man you need me to be. You may be able to see all of me- But, understand I can never go back home. The rest of the galaxy will never see me the way you do, they won’t understand how I sacrificed my soul to be in the position I’m in today. Please Rey, guide me to be the man the galaxy needs. But, don’t ask me to go back home. Don’t leave me Rey… Please.” Kylo cried into her hand, worshiping it with every kiss he pressed into her palm.

Rey fell to her knees and embraced him. “I don’t want to leave you.” She cried into his shirt. They held onto each other as tightly as possible, finally giving in to their hidden emotions. The force around them rang of grief and fear, but it also sang a song of understanding.

She pulled back to look at his face, reaching a hand out to trace the scar she had given him. “I don’t want to leave you-” Rey reiterated, “but, I cannot sacrifice the galaxy for my own selfish desires. I will help you defeat The Emperor. Yet, my loyalties must remain to freedom. I will stay with you… until, I can’t. I will live for our every shared moment while our priorities align, but I do fear the day that ends.”

Kylo held onto her tightly, sobbing into her hair. Rey buried her head into his chest crying with him. Finally, Kylo spoke softly into her hair, “I understand.” He said heartbroken.

“I’m sorry…” Rey sobbed into his chest. Kylo caressed her head still crying. “It’s okay-” he sighed out, trying to accept he might someday lose her to himself. Yet, he couldn’t stand the thought.

“I’m going to try, Rey-” as he spoke she pulled back to look at his face, “I’m going to try to be the man you need me to be. I’m going to become a ruler you’d feel proud to stand beside, I will create a galaxy you feel safe in.” He looked into her golden eyes again before kissing her passionately.

“I promise.”

Chapter Text

When Kylo finally checked back in with The First Order, Hux was furious. As expected he received a very long lecture on his absence and questioned on his return. He decided to shrug him off. Kylo took great pleasure as he told him: “if you have such a problem with my leadership tactics, why don’t you go do something about it?”

Hux did not like that. Kylo would admit he was poking the wampa. But, Kylo couldn’t bring himself to care. Hux was trying to kill him anyway, so what did it matter? What did bother Kylo was he was acting like his father. Temperamental, mouthy, and looking for a fight. It bothered him so much he almost brought it up to Rey. But, their relationship was so fragile right now. That was a wampa he was far too scared to poke.

Rey decided it was far overdo for a check in with The Resistance. Her hesitation overwhelmed her, Rey spent an hour pacing The Falcon trying to convince herself to call. She didn’t know what she could tell them, she didn’t know what was the right thing to do. Who was more likely to save the galaxy? Ben or The Resistance? Who could she place her hope in?

Rey- more attuned to her energy signature than ever before, could recognize she was not stable. There were so many variables to factor. She told Ben she would stay with him on the condition he remained loyal to the galaxy’s safety. He promised her he would. She needed that promise to be true. Rey didn’t know if she could handle it not being true.

Rey wanted more than anything to stay by his side. She wanted to lay down in bed at night and be next to his warmth. She wanted to wake up to the playful way he kissed her lips. Rey longed to see just how their connection would grow.

It only took a few days for her to give into him. She should have fought it more, but she couldn’t help herself. Rey could finally admit that she wanted this, no matter how wrong it was. Her soul ached to stand next to him, even now being in The Falcon while he remained in the base felt wrong.

Rey worried their separation would break her. Doubts crept into her mind about her promises to the galaxy. She hoped she had the strength to keep them.

Rey understood Kylo didn’t want to rely on The Resistance. But, that was entirely childish- kirff he could be childish. Rey didn't want to leave him but she could admit he was very far from perfect. He needed to come to reality and be ready to make personal sacrifices for the good of the galaxy. Kylo wasn’t just being childish, he was being selfish. Rey hoped that if she let him stew in his thoughts he’d find the right conclusion for himself.

Rey was beginning to understand how Ben Solo ticked. He was wildly intelligent- far too smart for his own good even. He was incredibly emotional in ways he couldn’t even recognize. He values intelligence and yet is ruled by emotion. Rey found that if she planted seeds he would water them in his mind until he came to the conclusions Rey discovered long ago. She wished he could see himself the way Rey saw him.

Charming, caring, brillant, passionate, and well-intended. While simultaneously being a rude, barbaric, galactic storm. His… less likable traits, could be effective if managed carefully. She found herself begging the force to let him overcome this emotional turmoil. Rey wanted more than anything for them to bridge the gap and bring their armies together. Defeat The Emperor together and bring peace to the galaxy together.

Rey feared they would not both make it out alive. What are the chances this all goes well and they get to spend the rest of their days together? It made Rey want to cry. She imagined spending her days alone again after experiencing this closeness. The fear of that type of loneliness twisted her stomach into a knot.

All these thoughts tore Rey apart, and yet- she still needed to call The Resistance. Rey genuinely felt nauseous as the call connected.

“Rey!” Her friends exclaimed in unison. She rocked back and forth in the pilot's chair. “Hey, everyone-” Rey sighed out.

“You called just in time!” Exclaimed Finn. Rey let out a deep breath, trying to relax. “How so?” She asked.

“We're just about to meet with The General-” Finn explained causings Rey’s stomach to drop. She was already terrified to face her friends, how could she face Ben Solo’s mother? Especially after everything she had done recently…

“Perfect…” Rey replied into her hands. “What- we didn’t hear you.” Said Rose. Rey audibly groaned, “I said that’s PERFECT!” She nearly shouted. “That’s what we’re saying!” Laughed Poe.

“So what have you been doing? Can we finally know Miss. Important-Jedi?” Asked Finn tauntingly. Rey felt ill and tried to remember the fabricated story she’d come up with.

“I’ve been in a deep state of meditation with the flowers.” She stated calmly. She could feel their bated breath on the other end. “They have shown me the history of the jedi… and the sith. They have taught me great lessons and I see the path of war more clearly than ever.” She found these words to be true, just with the words flowers and Ben Solo switched.

“What do you see of the war?” Poe asked seriously. Rey gulped, “do you remember the vision I had the last time we spoke?” She asked.

She heard a mumble of “yes” on the other end. “I received clarity- the ally you seek is not a friend. It is our true enemy.” Rey choked out doing her best to remain poised. There were more mumbles on the other end. “What do you mean?” Finn said, trying his best to understand.

“I have been in negotiations with Kylo Ren…” Rey admitted.

There was a roar of gasps on the other end, multiple questions being asked at the same time. “Are you okay?” “Have you been captured?” “Why didn’t you inform us?”

Rey took a deep breath. “Kylo Ren has revealed to me the one funding the coup is Emperor Palpatine.”

Another mess of words came spilling through the microphone all expressing disbelief. Finally Poe’s voice won, “how do you know this is true? You can’t trust him, Rey.” Poe lectured.

“I know that-” Rey lied, “but, I know it to be true. The flowers showed me.” She hoped their belief in these flowers and misunderstanding of the force would work in her benefit.

There was horrified silence on the other end. “How is he alive?” Rose asked. “I don’t know.” Rey admitted.

“What I do know is that Kylo Ren wants to destroy The Emperor. He’s diverting all attention away from The Resistance to the internal threat.” She hoped once she fully explained someday, they’d see this issue the way she did.

She was met with more silence. The quiet was killing her.

“How do you know this?” Poe questioned. “And don’t say The Force.” He threatened.

Rey gulped. “He admitted this to me after combat. We came to a draw unable to kill each other after many attempts. He gave me this information… in hope I would agree to join him as an apprentice.” She explained, switching around the truth.

There was another loud exchange of words she couldn’t understand. Growing frustrated she yelled over them. “I TOLD HIM NO!” She lied.

Their voices died down. “I ran away after that, and I have been on the run since. I can’t come back to The Resistance without leading them directly to you. So I have kept my distance. I didn’t tell you my situation in fear you’d try to rescue me.” She lied even further.

Her lies seemed to appease them and their trusting tones returned. “You should have told us, Rey!” Finn groaned, sounding angry.

Rey sighed. “I’m sorry, I did what I thought was right in the moment.”

“So, what now?” Rose asked quietly.

“I need you to find something for me… it’s called a Sith Wayfinder.” Rey explained, only to receive voices overlapping again.

“A wayfinder!?” Asked Finn. “We’ve been on the quest for one of those for a month now, that way we are having the meeting with The General!” Finn exclaimed.

Rey was so confused, “how did you know about the wayfinder?” It had taken her and Ben day’s to even discover it’s existence, how were they already searching for it?

“Well ever since we learned about Exegol from the operative we began searching for it-” Finn started to explain, “but, it wasn’t on any maps. So we figured it must be in uncharted space. So we started looking for maps of those sectors and discovered that the sith used to chart these sectors. We knew the Sith were bad… but, figured a map is a map. A map can’t be evil. Right?” He asked Rey.

She slapped her face with the palm of her hand. “So, you really just ignored my warning?” Rey groaned. There was nervous laughter on the other end “our bad.” Sid Rose.

“I mean even the concept of searching for an ally in sith-space is ridiculous.” She lectured, then realized she sounded like Kylo. He was rubbing off on her in more ways than she’d ever understand.

They didn’t respond so Rey finally asked, “What did you discover?”

“Oh it was crazy!” Cried Finn. “We went to Pasanna-” Poe said, “and ran into Lando Calrissian, who was also looking for the wayfinder!”

Rey pinched her forehead, “uh- okay random.” She said still not understanding. “So what happened next?” Rey asked.

“Well we got in a fight with some Troopers.” Finn said, “and they kirffing fly now!” He exclaimed. “Did you know they fly now?” Poe asked.

This seemed really irrelevant, thought Rey. “No… I didn’t.” She sighed. “You think I would know that. Since I was trained as a Trooper and all, but I didn’t! Really caught us off guard…” Finn laughed a bit. Rey was growing annoyed. “Okay, so what happened next?”

“Well, Lando helped us find the clue to the wayfinder!” Rose cheered. “Yeah, it was guarded by this HUGE snake. We really could have used your help during that part.” Poe admitted.

“Anyways-” said Poe, “we found a dagger with an inscription-” Rose then interrupted him. “We couldn’t read it so we had to get it translated by-” Now Finn interrupted Rose. “Poe’s stupid ex!” He insisted.

Rey rubbed her head. “Um… okay.” She really didn’t know what to make of any of their rambles and was starting to become uninterested.

“So Poe’s stupid ex helped us hook up C-3PO to this machine that would help him translate the dagger.” Finn explained with a sadness in his voice. “C-3PO didn’t make it,” he said.

Rey gasped feeling emotional. “Oh no…” She thought of how much that droid meant to The General and began to grieve for her.

“Oh- but, don’t worry! He’s fine now!!” Rose exclaimed.

Rey gave a sigh of relief and annoyance. “What the kirff is wrong with you? Why wouldn’t you lead with that.” She was so glad she had avoided this pointless fetch quest her friends had gone on.

“Haha, yeah sorry Rey!” Poe said. “Well, the dagger said the wayfinder is on Kef Bir. One of Endors moons, so with The General’s permission we will be heading that way next!” He exclaimed.

Rey wished he’d started with that rather than recounting the lamest war story she’d ever heard. Kylo really was rubbing off on her. She loved her friends dearly but that entire story was truly a waste of time and she feared they didn’t fully grasp the danger they were in.

Still, this was good news. They had located the wayfinder. Her next problem would be how to break the information to Kylo. She wanted to ask more questions but then heard the cries of “hellos” from her friends indicating The General had walked into the room.

“Let me speak to Rey. Alone please.” Leia said. Her friends groaned, letting out some “goodbyes” and “see you soons.”

“Leia…” Rey said, beginning to feel emotional.

“Are you alright, child?” She asked. Rey could feel her energy signal even through the microphone.

“I’m okay. How are you?” Rey asked.

Right on cue Leia began coughing a bit. “My health has not been strong. But, there is no time for that now. There was a shift in the force, have you felt it, Rey?”

Rey had had the thought Leia might have been able to sense something wrong. “I have. The Emperor-” Leia cut Rey off, finishing her sentence “has returned.” The seriousness in The General's tone struck fear into Rey’s heart. She knew the horrors that awaited them far more than anyone else.

“We must discover him. This changes the tide of the war.” Leia explained. Rey shook her head, “your son is not our greatest enemy.” Rey said nervously.

“He never was.” Leia agreed sadly.

A feeling of connection and sadness hung in the air. Rey hoped she was not out of line for her next words. “Do you think there is a galaxy in which he would join us?” Rey asked, terrified of the answer.

“I don’t know-” there was heartbreak in the womens voice, “but The Resistance is not strong enough to take on The Empire.”

Rey felt a heavy weight in her chest. Leia was right.

Leia was quiet for a long moment and Rey felt the woman reading her energy, Rey allowed it. Finally Leia spoke.

“The truth is, Ben Solo is our only hope.”

Chapter Text

“We are not strong enough to defeat Palapatine.” Leia admitted. “I don’t know how he’s returned, and I don’t know what will be up his sleeve, but I can feel its power in the force. We can not combat it. The only way out now is for my son to find a way to rally the galaxy. As long as he’s not been lost to the emperor.”

Rey was stunned by Leia’s perceptiveness. “He won’t work with Palpatine, I can ensure that.”

“And how can you know that? My father fell to him, the only one who’s ever been strong enough to resist him was Luke. I want to believe my son will remember the lessons I’ve taught him, but- he’s so lost.” Rey could hear the weight of sadness in her voice. It was the weight of multiple wars, the weight of being the last survivor of her friends and family. General-Princess Leia Organa-Solo was a woman who perpetually gave hope to the galaxy. When would someone be able to give her some?

“Leia… I have something to admit.” Rey muttered with all the courage she had in her body.

“What is it, child?” The tone of her voice indicated she already was onto Rey. She would be more truthful to Leia, the risks were too high at this point and she could bear the weight of her secrets any longer.

“I have been with him this entire time. He has been training me.” There was silence on the other end. Rey waited patiently for a response. Disappointment, rejection, disbelief. There was none of that. Finally the general spoke. All she said was “and?”

“And he’s taught me everything about the force. I am stronger than I could have ever imagined. He knows the history of both the Sith and the Jedi. The Senate and The Empire. He’s been teaching me about it all. Why he leads the way he does and the future he wants to build for the galaxy. He’s far closer to the light than any of us could have expected him to be. I believe fully with proper guidance he could be the hero the galaxy needs.” The release of the words were liberating.

Rey wished she could see Leia’s face. “So you’re his padawan?” She questioned sternly.

“I don’t know… it’s complicated.” Rey didn’t want to get into just how complicated it was.

“I can’t say I’m surprised, Rey-“ Leia’s words were shocking to Rey however. “What? Why not?”

“I told you before you left you reminded me of my son. Your energy signals are so similar. Different in many ways, almost an inversion of one another. I couldn’t fully explain it until now. Your destiny was always tied together, I thought it was to be his demise. But, now I see it. You’re meant to bring balance to the force together.” This declaration meant everything to Rey. The relief she felt was unimaginable and she held back tears.

“So you’re not mad?” Rey gasped.

“I’m certainly upset you have been lying to my troops. But, I understand why you did it. To expect them to understand the complexities of a pair bonded by the force is unreasonable. I will be less upset if you tell me there’s any chance he will join in our efforts.” Leia's voice was stern but not angry which made Rey feel better. Still, she didn’t have the answers Leia wanted.

“He told me he won’t work with us. But, he won’t work against us. So it’s something. If I can just have some more time there’s a chance I could convince him.” Rey insisted.

“There is no time, Rey. Palpatine is coming and we must act quickly. Poe sent me the report that they found the location of the wayfinder. If this meeting checks out I will be sending them to Kef Bir immediately. If you can convince him before then I welcome it… I would like to see my boy again.” Leia admitted. The words were heartbreaking.

“I am not long for this galaxy, Rey. I know that. My last wish is to see my son, make things right with him. Tell him I believe in him, and to watch him fulfill this family's legacy. I don’t know if that wish will come true, but I will hang on to life in hope it will happen.” Leia’s voice was so strong and brave. Rey broke down crying.

“I’ll do everything I can to make that wish come true General. I promise.” Rey hoped Leia could understand her words through her sobs. She was grateful as Leia gave her time to cry.

“Is there anything else I need to know, Rey?” She asked.

Rey felt lighter despite everything going on. “Well, The Resistance definitely has to stop aligning themselves with the internal coup that’s happening in The First Order. It’s led by Hux, who’s aligned himself with Palpatine. It’s in our best interest to start looking for allies elsewhere.” Rey informed.

“I see-“ replied the general. “I will contact every last resource I have. How we will prove The Emperor's return to be true will be difficult. I don’t know who would believe it, I still don’t believe it myself.”

“Ben and I haven’t made sense of it yet. But-“ right as Rey was going to go into one of their theories Leia interrupted her “Ben?” She asked.

Rey gulped, she had admitted their alliance but now she was giving their connection away as well. “Um, yes. That is his name.” Rey said, trying to remain cool.

“So when did he become Ben to you?” A perfectly calculated question. Even in her older age she was sharp.

“Long before I started training with him…” Rey admitted. There was silence, which forced Rey to elaborate.

“When I went to him last, the time Snoke died, it was because we have a bond. And I’m not just talking metaphorically, I mean when we are apart, we can see and speak to each other.” Rey couldn’t believe what she was admitting to, she feared rejection as she realized how long she’d been keeping this secret.

“Fascinating.” Leia replied, “that’s truly incredible, Rey. Now I’m going to ignore that you withheld such massive information on the account that it could be incredibly useful to us. Why did you keep it concealed for so long?” She interrogated.

“I didn’t want anyone to mistrust me. Until the flowers I never spoke of anything important to him. We ignored each other the best we could. I thought it was something that would fade with time. I know now I will be tied to him forever.” There was a twist in her gut as she spoke these words. They were true in so many ways.

“So why do you call him by his true name? You still haven’t explained that part.” Leia insisted. Kirff, Rey was hoping she’d forget about that.

Rey thought long and hard about the question. “There are times when it suits him better. There is a gentleness to him that needs to be addressed. Yes, he is a powerful ruler with a terrible ability to destroy. That is a part of him and that is Kylo Ren. But, there’s more than that. He is obsessive in his studies and his eyes light up as he recounts history. He is protective and ensures to uphold that which he cares about. He is idealistic to a fault. But, truly he wants what’s best for the galaxy. That is Ben Solo. I’m starting to understand he lives somewhere in between the two identities. It won’t be Kylo Ren or Ben Solo who saves the galaxy, it will be when he balances the two that peace will be restored.” The force tingled in her words, and Rey felt certainty in everything she said.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Said Leia. “There were times I doubted, I believed him to be forever lost to the darkness in the way he’d never be able to return to the light. I thought that meant my son was gone. But, now I see the darkness is just as much a part of him as the light. My brother was correct, as always, no one is ever truly gone.” The words were lifting and beautiful. They reassured Rey she was on the correct path.

“What’s the future you see with him, Rey?” Leia asked.

It was such a complex question. Rey truly didn’t have an answer she fully understood. So all she said was “one with hope.”