Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Tem lugares que me lembram

Minha vida, por onde andei

As histórias, os caminhos

O destino que eu mudei”

Minha Vida, Rita Lee

☀️

It begins with sand and wind. With words that reach Shoyo’s ears without him knowing the meaning. It begins with the sun, more intense than ever, shimmering over Shoyo as his feet kiss the Brazilian sand for the first time. It begins with his desire to turn the page, to have a fresh start after a situation in the past that made Shoyo drown in the midst of impotence.

It ends and begins with him just wanting to dive into new oceans, where salt water and sweat mingle together as he merges with the sand to reach unknown, colorful skies.

Actually, it begins with him, with Hinata Shoyo standing on the other side of the world as he looks for a new road to travel. A different road but with the same destination: reaching greater heights. It begins with him only, going alone to another country in order to pursue his dream to reach the top of the world, playing volleyball as he narrowly learns to take care of his body and mind.

In Brazil, more than anything, learning to love himself is a paramount factor in Shoyo’s life. As a player who takes everything in stride now, who calmly observes his surroundings as if the universe flows with the flutter of a butterfly’s wings—soft and peaceful—Shoyo knows that taking care of himself is key to his growth. It's a key for him to open new doors to the future, where sweat becomes omnipresent and the sun on his skin transforms him into a new man.

Shoyo is a new man with nostalgic desires to fly high, with childhood dreams that give him the fuel to keep persisting daily. He's a new man with the same determination since he was 11 years old; a new man who, at 16 years old, made a life-changing decision that turned his world faster than a roller coaster.

Even though he is 19 years old now, even after having learned many things and evolved, deep down, Shoyo maintains his essence. He's still the same big-hearted boy who talks with his hands and screams with his smiles. He's the same boy hungry for victory, reveling in the feelings that volleyball brings to him. No matter what happens, he is just like that: perfectly imperfect.

Despite everything, it's still him.

Despite everything, Hinata Shoyo will always be himself.

Chapter Text

Memories of home pop up in Shoyo’s mind the first time he goes to a Festa Junina.

From the children with freckles and painted teeth, straw hats and colorful clothes dancing in a large circle to the typical food’s aroma filling the night air, everything brings back childhood memories. Shoyo always adored to enjoy festivals with his mother and sister, he always loved wearing his baby blue yukata with bunny patterns on the fabric while watching the fireworks with them.

So at that moment, memories come to his mind like a cold breeze. Memories of home, of family. Memories of a time that's only in the past for now. Memories that are still a bit tough to swallow. But this feeling was expected by Shoyo, right? He's only a 19-year-old boy living in an unknown country without a loved one nearby. In moments of longing, he looks at his lockscreen wallpaper and thinks how his friends are only in the past for now.

Saudade is the first word that Shoyo understands the meaning of in Brazil.

That's why tonight he wants to do it differently. Shoyo understands that he doesn't get different achievements by following the same steps. He wants to do something different tonight and breathe fresh air, trusting that it will leave him with a clearer mind for tomorrow. 

Since he is closer to Pedro now, Shoyo can always count on him to have company whenever he wants sightseeing. In moments of longing, Shoyo feels grateful to have found a glimpse of family in that sweet boy so naturally.

“Here, Shoyo,” Pedro hands him a kind of yellow cake wrapped in green straw. “This is pamonha . It's made with corn so I think you'll like it.”

Seeing Pedro’s gentle smile makes Shoyo feel a warmth in his heart. He always becomes melted butter when people remember his favorite things, especially when it comes to food.

“Obrigado!!!” Shoyo takes a bite and squints when its heat burns his tongue. However, little by little, the slight pain turns into joy as he feels all those salty, sweet notes, humming in satisfaction. It's yummy. It's warm. It's another reminiscence of home and Shoyo can't be happier.

As Pedro had already commented, Shoyo is someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, so there's no need for him to say that he likes the pamonha—Shoyo’s enlightened expression is already the answer, and it makes Pedro laugh in amusement.

After eating, the two go to visit the other tents. All of them are placed side by side, being decorated with straw, fabrics with wild animals embroidery and colorful diamond-shaped balloons. They are very cute, like a rainbow seen even during the night. Suddenly, one specific tent with kiss drawings catches Shoyo’s attention.

“Barraca do beijo,” he reads the wooden sign in front of the tent, his mind quickly trying to translate the lettering. Beijo means kiss which means this tent must be…

“It means kissing booth,” Pedro explains.

Shoyo blushes and gives his friend an awkward smile. “I don't think we want anything from there, right?”

Pedro bursts into laughter, “We don't! Actually, I need to check something.” He approaches the kissing booth where a girl and a boy are happily chatting.

“He's the birthday boy I talked about,” Pedro tells them, pulling Shoyo closer by the wrist. The three keep talking so fast that Shoyo can barely keep up.

“OLÁ, SHOYO!!!,” The two strangers say in unison, passing one arm over the other as if they were about to start dancing. “FELIZ ANIVERSÁRIO!!!!” 

Shoyo smiles wobbly, turning into a tomato as he scratches the back of his neck. “Obrigado mesmo!”

“They're friends from school,” Pedro explains gently. “João e Camila.”

“Nice to meet you,” Shoyo bows and the two laugh, perhaps finding his formal introduction cute.

“We can paint some freckles on your cheeks if you want, Shoyo!” Camila says.

João pouts, “Wait! But he already has some freckles on his face.” 

“Freckles are cute. There are never too many freckles!”

Mirroring their joy, Shoyo giggles. “I really want to!!”

Camila jumps up and down towards him as João rolls his eyes, following her. With black eyeliners, they begin to sprinkle paint freckles on Shoyo’s cheeks, the movement of the pencil tickling his flushed skin. The two seem to be having fun. Even with his eyes closed, Shoyo can imagine the grins stamping their lips.

He just hopes that the wide smile lightening his face doesn't get in the way of their art.

After a minute, Camila whistles in approval. "We're done!"

As soon as Shoyo’s eyelashes flutter open, he notices that there is a mirror in front of him, held by João. His rosy cheeks already have some light-brown freckles, gifts from the Brazilian sun, but now they're in pairs with other black ones. Shoyo’s skin looks like the sky after the sunset: still pink and gold but also starry.

Once again, Shoyo smiles. Now he understands the tradition of painting freckles this way. It's really fun.

When Shoyo turns to thank them, he notices that Pedro has a small cake in his hands. "Surprise!!" He smiles shyly.

Apparently, João and Camila were keeping the cake hidden this whole time, and making the freckles on Shoyo’s face was a small distraction to surprise him. And what a sweet, lovely surprise. The cake is tiny and round, decorated with white whipped cream and some sunflowers made with a pastry tip. Shoyo could cry if the smile on his face wasn't so wide. Actually, tears aren't necessary now. He has every reason in the world to keep beaming at that moment.

"I hope you like the cake, Shoyo!!" The three say in unison, proceeding to sing in sync, “Parabéns pra você!!! Nessa data querida!! Muitas felicidades!!! Muitos anos de vida!!! Viva Shoyo!!!”

For the ninetieth time that night, Shoyo thanks them with a radiant smile. He is unable to contain his excitement so he jumps up to hug Pedro, being careful not to drop the cake on the floor. Shoyo certainly adores the cake and the people who gave it to him—and all the others who are making his days in Brazil feel lighter.

The bitterness of longing is gone tonight, giving way to a feeling that allows Shoyo to live freely. He can't name this feeling yet, but Shoyo knows it will allow him to take flight soon. Shoyo wants to soar in this unknown sky as he collects new memories of a bright future where he can finally truly be seen.

Chapter Text

“So, what recipe are you making?” Kenma’s voice comes followed by a yawn on the other end of the line.

Shoyo giggles, still moving the wooden spoon in circular motions. “Oshiruko! Pedro and I just had dinner and now I'm finishing this dessert for us. It's a little cold tonight which is rare! So I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to make him try this recipe.” He has his head tilted to the side, holding the cell phone between his right cheek and shoulder.

Kenma hums drowsily, “Where the hell did you find mochi to make oshiruko in Rio?”

“I didn't, actually!!!” Shoyo continues stirring the beans while chattering. “Well, Pedro’s mother went to São Paulo and sent him a package full of sweets. Apparently, she knows I'm Japanese because she sent some colorful mochi as a gift. So sweet of her!! It seems that there's a neighborhood there called Liberdade where the majority of people are Japanese as well as part of the architecture and food. Now I really wanna visit this place one day, Kenma!”

“You will,” his friend says gently. Even though Shoyo can't see him, he knows Kenma is smiling adorably beneath his fuzzy blanket. “Why don't you and Pedro plan to go there on vacation?”

“I think we can't now,” Shoyo sighs. “Our schedules differ a lot: when I'm working or training he's on vacation, and when I have time off he has to go to college. But one day, who knows. You can also go with us!”

Kenma laughs softly. “I'd like to. Maybe we can do a livestream together both there and in Rio. My subscribers are always curious asking about my friend who moved to Brazil.”

“Oh,” Shoyo blushes, the heat in his cheeks feeling as hot as the bubbling pot. “Não! I mean, yes! If they really wanna see me, let's do this one day. We should play beach volleyball together.”

“Are you crazy? You yourself said that you had difficulties when you started playing in the sand, so imagine a sedentary person like me. I'll just eat sand for sure.”

Shoyo cackles, “It will be just a fun game, Kenma! You don't need to be a professional.” As soon as his brain processes Kenma’s last words, Shoyo’s eyebrows furrow. “Also, what did you mean with sedentary person? Aren't you doing the stretches I mentioned? Not even going to walks?”

“I am,” Kenma’s voice is no longer hoarse, the traces of sleep seemingly leaving his body. “I do it here and there. But not as much as I should do, honestly.”

“I already told you that you must do this daily. You work sitting down, so taking breaks to move your body is essential for your health!!”

“I know, Shoyo. It's just that I'm always focused on the game so sometimes I forget to take breaks.”

Shoyo pouts. “Well, you better start remembering! Otherwise, I will knock on the door of your mansion forcing you to eat and sleep well.”

Kenma giggles, “Alright, mom. Don't worry. Will take care of myself more.”

“Good!” Shoyo beams proudly.

He bends down to see inside the toaster oven and notices that the mochis are already browned and expanded. A gingery, floral aroma enters Shoyo’s nostrils when he opens it, and he closes his eyes to enjoy the smell. It's so fresh and familiar. It's a smell that reminds him of home. It reminds him of winter nights in the kitchen of his family house with his mother making this recipe. But there's one difference: tonight, Shoyo won't have his cheeks squeezed by his mother when he eats a spoonful of oshiruko. He won't have Natsu in front of him with equally rosy cheeks and a scarf bigger than her around her neck. Shoyo won't have his family around tonight. He will not have the comfort and warmth that family brings to him.

Homesickness was a factor (perhaps the main one) that made him cry in the corner of his room every night. It was the shadow that haunted Shoyo in his most vulnerable moments, when those most dear to him were not around to blow that sadness away. Yes, they're not here tonight. And yes, it makes Shoyo’s heart sink in some moments. But Shoyo will have the comfort brought by a person who is equally dear to him. Pedro was one of the main people responsible for making the homesickness evaporate as the months went by, replacing that cold feeling with a pleasant warmth.

Shoyo strongly believes that the comfort existing within him now is the result of the friendship that blossomed between them.

“You finished your recipe?” Kenma asks.

“Yes!!!” Shoyo sing-songs. He takes the baking dish and leaves it on the counter next to him. The mochis are golden brown, looking fluffy and sugary—perfect for a cold night.

“Well, I think I'll take my leave. I'm not fully awake yet,” he yawns exaggeratedly. “Oh, and Kuroo is going to make me go hiking with him in a few hours.”

“God, I'm glad Kuroo-san is there keeping an eye on you for me,” Shoyo chuckles. “Tell him I'm saying a loud OBRIGADO!!! from Rio!!”

“Will try,” Kenma utters, but there is no will in his voice. “Good night, Shoyo.”

“Have a good morning, Kenma!!!”  As soon as the call ends, Shoyo smiles stupidly at his phone screen. Talking to one of his best friends always makes him feel so light, as if Shoyo were a tiny petal floating in the wind.

Shoyo must look pretty silly right now but he doesn't care.

After placing the mochis in two bowls and adding the hot soup, Shoyo calls Pedro while humming around the kitchen. He goes to their small dining table and places the bowls in front of their seats right when Pedro arrives in the kitchen, hair damp and a towel around his neck. Natsu also usually does this after a shower—she wraps the towel around her neck like a big scarf, face rosy and copper curls still damp as she asks Shoyo to do two pigtails in her hair.

Shoyo can't suppress the soft sigh that leaves his body when he realizes that he sees Pedro with the same affection he showers his sister with.

“I made dessert for us,” Shoyo announces, welcoming him with an excited tone.

Pedro opens a tiny smile. “Ah, thanks! You look happy.”

Shoyo scratches the back of his head. “Do I? Don't I look happy all the time?”

“Yeah, but tonight you seem… lighter, I guess.”

“Cooking recipes for others always makes me feel all gwahhh and gyuuun inside.”

Pedro raises his eyebrows. He is not yet fluent in Shoyo’s vocabulary. “Okay…” He trails off, but the corner of his mouth curls up in subtle joy. “I'm happy you put so much effort into cooking for me. Muito obrigado mesmo.”

Shoyo lights up. “De nada!!!” He takes a seat and picks up a spoon, carefully waiting for Pedro’s reaction to his recipe.

As he takes a spoonful to his mouth, Pedro’s soft sigh is what leaves Shoyo even more lighthearted that night. He misses his family, yes, but Shoyo also misses these little moments when he is responsible for taking care of those he truthfully loves.

Chapter Text

21 - 18 is the final score of the game. And Shoyo is part of the team with the fewest points, that is, the defeated.

This is nothing new for him in beach volleyball, though. Since the moment he’s arrived, the sand has become an unknown battlefield where Shoyo is still inexperienced. He feels like a little bird coming out of his shell, still learning to fly on this new soil, and yes, nowadays he understands more that his small daily habits are what build the ladder for him to reach the top. But still… The feeling of losing is always frustrating.

Shoyo is having a rough day. In addition to losing the game, he was super busy at work with many orders to be delivered, and he'd already spent a good amount of energy on the circuit that he had attended in the morning. As always, he put his heart and soul into that game. He jumped, he ran, he fell and got up, as he always does on the court. As he always does in life. He dusted himself off and moved on like he does every single day. That's why Shoyo stands tall now, even in difficult times. Even with the extremely burning sun making it difficult for him to cycle along the paradisiacal Flamengo beach, Shoyo is strong enough to keep himself sane until the end of his daily shift.

He reaches his apartment before the sun sets, the pinks and yellows of the sky soothing his features a bit and bringing hopeful vibes for tomorrow.

“Oiii, I'm home,” Shoyo chants weakly, even though he knows no one's gonna answer. Pedro had said he would be late from college, and told Shoyo not to wait for him for dinner.

For the fifth time that day, Shoyo sighs. All he wanted now was to be greeted with a warm energy, a company with whom he feels comfortable to chat and push the negative thoughts from his mind. It's hard, but he just accepts that he's spending more time alone for now. And he intends to take care of himself during this period to prevent the negativity from getting worse.

The first thing he does is put water in the kettle to boil before taking a long, well-deserved shower. Shoyo lets the water drops kiss the tiny freckles on his body, the sweat draining away along with the feeling of defeat from earlier. He takes deep breaths and tries to absorb only what is necessary for his mind to expel any residue of sadness.

When he returns to the kitchen, dressed in a basic white tank top and pajama shorts with embroidered ducks, he calmly picks up the utensils needed to finish his dinner. Shoyo puts the noodles to cook in boiling water, takes the tofu to brown and places some already cooked vegetables on the kitchen counter. In a few minutes, the pasta is ready to be poured into the bowl. Shoyo carefully places the tofu over the noodles along with bean sprouts, carrots, kale and parsley.

There it is! He's just made Brazilian-style ramen (Shoyo’s special recipe).

While enjoying his meal, Shoyo hums and appreciates this moment with his own company. He tries to focus on the affective memory that that recipe brings and how his self-care now is as important as winning a volleyball match. With each bite of that ramen, Shoyo basks in the cozyness of that moment and feels grateful for being able to live today. He feels more peaceful in moments of reflection like this, when he can focus on his health as a gesture of self-love. For all the effort he's made for himself.

Before getting up to wash the dishes, Shoyo’s cell phone beeps with a new message. Coming from none other than Kageyama Tobio. The stupid Olympian who happens to be the first partner Shoyo has ever had on the court. And the first, the one and only partner he's had in life. Kageyama is the last person Shoyo expected to receive a message from right now. But it's also the one who he would most deeply like to talk to.

[silly-yama :P]

I'm back in Japan.

Don't know why you asked me to let you know

But I'm telling anyway so you won't disturb me during my training 

[sho]

oiiiii, silly-yama

good evening to you too

oops, i mean! good morning!!

nooo, i mean! BOM DIA FLOR DO DIA!!!!! 💐(>‿◠)✌

[silly-yama :P]

??????

Don't know what that means

[sho]

it's because yama yama-kun can't speak portuguese

but hey, don't worry! i'm here to be your savior so i will translate to you!

[silly-yama :P]

It must be something really stupid

Just like you

[sho]

why so mean!!??? i was trying to be nice!!

i said: good morning flower of the day

some mothers say this to their children when they pick them up from volleyball practice and i thought it was super cute!!!

[silly-yama :P]

I'm not a child, Hinata

[sho]

you're younger than me so i can't help it

i always have the urge to baby u (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥

[silly-yama :P]

Dumbass

Instead of talking nonsense, you should be getting ready for bed

Have you at least had dinner?

[sho]

awnnn you're worried about me??? （*/∇＼*）

i had ramen for dinner and it was so good!!! my special recipe

i can prepare it for you one day

alsooo, what are u doing right now?

shouldn't you get ready for your daily training? 

[silly-yama :P]

That's exactly what I'm doing

I had to wait for one of my teammates to drop his son off at school

That's why I ended up sending you a message

[sho]

you can admit if you've missed me, you know

btw are you gonna ask how my day was?

[silly-yama :P]

No

You're gonna tell me anyway

[sho]

you know me so well ;))

honestly, my day sucked!!! i lost an important game at this beach tournament, i had to cycle through several neighborhoods under the hot sun because of work

i was so tired

and kinda frustrated

[silly-yama :P]

And???

[sho]

???????????

[silly-yama :P]

And what are you doing to feel better?

What are you doing to improve?

[sho]

…

i can't overwhelm myself more tonight so i just got home and had a healthy dinner to replenish my body’s vitamins

i took a good shower and breathing deeply helped me organize my thoughts 

tomorrow i'm going to the beach early to train with my partner of the week

then i'm gonna be back stronger in two years and beat you and your team!!!!

[silly-yama :P]

Good

Not the part you beat me of course, cause that won't happen!

But it's good that you're thinking more now

Don't you dare give up just because of a stupid bad day

[sho]

OF COURSE NOT!!!!!!!!!

i promised myself that i would beat your stupid ass one day and i will!

that's our promise after all

[silly-yama :P]

Then don't stop

[sho]

I WON'T

and wow, you’re giving me so many good advices

i'm feeling way better now, kageyama-kun!!! thank youuu ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ

i will stop yapping now just because i need to sleep

have a nice day at the gym!!!

beijos e abraços do brasil, mwah mwah ^3^

[silly-yama :P]

I hope it's not another sappy thing that you're saying

“It might be sappy,” Shoyo whispers to himself. “But it's what I can do now since you're one of the biggest reasons I can keep moving forward.”

Chapter Text

Feeling with renewed energy after a rough day, Shoyo spends the next few weeks playing with different people on his days off. He practices kick-ups, left-handed spikes, and his receives while tied to the structure of the volleyball net. The sand is still hot and stiff as the day he lost at the circuit, but it's also warm and soft as Shoyo trains and improves his skills.

The title of Ninja Shoyo comes to him like the summery wind of Copacabana—a surprise that feels like a dream. It was surprising when he was called that the first time, it was like his abilities were finally being recognized. It was as if Hinata Shoyo himself were finally being seen . And well, fame was never something he craved for in volleyball, but having eyes surrounding him and giving him the confidence that he is on the right path has been good fuel for Shoyo to keep moving forward.

And his fame was the big reason he met the volleyball duo with whom he would play for the longest time on the beaches of Rio.

“What? You came all the way from the other side of the world by yourself?” Heitor asks in awe, only getting a Shoyo scratching the back of his head in response. “Wow, that’s crazy! So what do you usually spend your time doing?”

Shoyo tilts his head, a little confused. Most of the time he spends playing volleyball, of course! It's the reason Heitor came to him, so he doesn't quite understand what answer he expects.

“Hmmm, what do you do that isn't volleyball?”

“Oh,” As the meaning falls upon him, Shoyo gets thrilled to answer. “I have a part-time job delivering stuff. I also help teach at a class for children and tourists.” He smiles fondly, remembering the children who gather around him to learn indoor volleyball tactics. They're all so gentle and innocent, just like Shoyo himself was one day, and he feels delighted to be able to share his knowledge with those who share the same dream as him.

At that moment, as he talks to Heitor and opens up more to a new friendship, Shoyo remembers that the other things he does are also volleyball. From the little lessons he shares with Lúcio’s students, the vocabulary he learns daily from residents of Rio, the hobbies he loves to do with Pedro to the recipes he makes daily—everything is also volleyball.

Everything is small actions so that he continues to grow and evolve. So that he can reach the top and be even happier. Because the truth is: Hinata Shoyo is already happy. He is happy every time he talks to his roommate, when he has a delicious breakfast, when he can rest his feet on the warm sand and the ocean breeze soothes his heart. He is happy in the little glimpses of life. And Shoyo is happier to be traveling on this road he chose for himself with the support of his dearest ones.

Talking to family and friends is essential to Shoyo, and he does just that after winning the first match of the Solcard Cup.

[sho]

YACHI-SAN!!!!!!

i mean HITOKA!!!!

remember the new circuit i joined and the new friend im playing with????

sooo, our first game was today and we WON!!!! (ノ＞▽＜)ノ

*picture and video of shoyo and heitor playing together*

[yachi 💛]

HINATA-KUN

I mean: HINATA!

I mean: SHOYO!!!!!!

And of course I do!!! I wouldn't forget something so important

I just watched the video and you guys are so cool, your jumps seem even higher and I can see Heitor is super excited playing with you 💛

You look so amazing!!

Even tho it's just a video, just watching you play was so so SO!

[sho]

SO GWAH????

[yachi 💛]

YES, EXACTLY!

SO GWAH AND EXCITING!!

You guys are gonna win everything, I'm confident!

[sho]

hehehe thank you!! we still have a lot of matches to play but i also believe we can win ^^

[yachi 💛]

Make sure to tell me if you do!

Also, did a package arrive at your apartment these days?

[sho]

hmmm no?

just letters with our rent bills

why?

[yachi 💛]

It's taking so long to arrive :(

I might have sent you a lil something

[sho]

WHATTTT!!???

you didnt have to!!

youre gonna make me blush

[yachi 💛]

Hahaha you deserve a gift after working so hard

Please, tell me as soon as it arrives

[sho]

OH GOD I’M SO CURIOUS NOW

can you tell me what the gift is???

[yachi 💛]

It's a surprise

Be patient

[sho]

 ( ≧Д≦)

will try!

The next day, as if the heavens were listening to him, Shoyo receives a secret package at his door. It wasn't sent from Japan, but from a city close to Rio de Janeiro, and it took a few days because the product needed to grow more, according to information from the delivery guy. Shoyo doesn't understand at first, but as soon as a tiny sunflower vase is placed between his hands, he beams as bright as its butterscotch petals.

[sho]

aaaaaaa yachi-san!!!! i cant believe u did that

this is the most precious baby ever!

*blurry picture of shoyo’s sunflower*

[yachi 💛]

AHHHHH IT FINALLY ARRIVED

I’M SO GLAD!!

[sho]

this made my day, thank u so much!!!

ohhh im gonna show it to pedro and heitor ≧(´▽｀)≦

“My friend sent a gift today,” Shoyo announces while he and Heitor begin to stretch, the sun still subtly rising on the horizon. “When we finish training I can show it to you!”

Heitor looks down at him, beaming. “That's why you're so much more excited than usual today, huh?”

“I guess so,” he says bashfully.

“‘M happy that your friends in Japan support you so much.”

Shoyo nods and hums happily. “I wouldn't be here firm and strong if it weren't for them!” And it is the truth in its purest form. After years of blindly following the ball, having a clearer vision to understand that he has many people who support him is the strength that Shoyo needs to continue believing in himself.

Chapter Text

During his first months living in Brazil, if someone were to ask Shoyo what life is like in here, he would utter the word lonely.

Not because people are recluses and aren't fond of interactions—quite the opposite. From the moment he set foot on Brazilian soil, Shoyo noticed the way people interact. Shoyo noticed how their outlook on life is. He noticed how they are intensely dedicated to it. How they live one day at a time to the fullest; how they sing, dance, laugh and let their emotions come freely on a daily basis.

He thinks they wear their big hearts on their sleeves, just like him, and at first, Shoyo really thought he would be part of that world quickly. At first, excitement is what fills Shoyo’s body when he steps on the grains of sand. Beach, volleyball, ocean—everything combines into a new but old world in which he plans to grow. It's where he plans to fly to greater heights. And with the resilient mindset he now has, Shoyo is also aware that he needs to embrace the culture within himself first before learning to fly in that beautiful, unknown sky.

The beads of sweat falling under Shoyo’s damp face mix with the rain into a salty liquid—a drink that he used to sip daily along with tears in his first days in Brazil. Shoyo compares his sweat to the taste of loneliness he felt at that time. He compares it to the feeling of having to go to sleep hugging himself, without being able to immerse his body in the familiar warmth of someone he loves.

Those feelings used to be overwhelming, but Shoyo always knew he could beat them.

And he does just that.

Shoyo does just that because he knows how to run alone in pursuit of his dreams. He knows how to take courageous decisions so that he can create his own opportunity to win. Shoyo knows he is responsible to travel this journey alone, simply because he has never been lonely. Even if his family isn't around at the moment, he now knows that the support he has from distance is enough to make up for this longing.

His sweat is proof of his hard-work and dedication. They're not single drops of salty water running down his skin. They're not a metaphor for tears shed in moments of pain anymore. They're not broken wings but lovely points that kiss his whole body and remind Shoyo that every single movement matters.

Over time, he gets used to the language. Pedro helps him with his Portuguese lessons, while Shoyo helps to prepare meals and teaches him the importance of a balanced diet. He gets used to the land and its people, to the smell of the sea and the intense sun; to the way people talk with their hands and eyes, to how naturally they lean in to hug Shoyo and kiss his cheeks, entering his walls as quickly as the flapping of a hummingbird’s wings.

More than anything, Shoyo becomes delightfully used to the way people here allow themselves to love and be loved, just as he always dreamed of being. After so many years trying to be an admirable player, it's in Brazil where he realizes that his true journey is a gold medal to be admired. As someone who cycled for more than 30 minutes around a mountain to go to school, someone who never complained about such circumstances because he had a dream in mind, Shoyo is already a human being who has the right to feel loved every single day.

It's in Brazil that he learns to love and be loved with the same intensity, with the same devotion to himself that he truly deserves. Shoyo understands that his way of loving is as unique as the chords of a song. He understands that he can love anyone in the world, as long as he has a strong emotional bond with them. He understands that love is stored beyond physical attraction, this feeling being a crystal clear representation of the trust that exists between him and the person he loves. Shoyo also understands that his love is not limited to intimate touches, as he values ​​a relationship where they both laugh, cry and are honest with their gestures, always letting genuineness shine through in their emotions.

It's in Brazil that Shoyo understands that he loves with the simplest, smallest gestures. He loves and feels this love peeking out of his skin when he prepares a healthy meal for someone he cares about. He loves when he reminds his friends to do their daily exercises, yapping all day so they remember to eat. Shoyo loves when he teases Natsu just to see her rosy cheeks puff out in annoyance and to have her closer, chasing him around the house as soft giggles escape his lips. Shoyo loves loves and loves infinitely, just like sunbeams being refracted through rainwater drops and exploding into thousands of rainbows.

It's in Brazil that Shoyo learns what love is and how the feeling itself is also volleyball. It's in the land of green, yellow and blue that he learns about self-love, resilience and where he conquers the mentality of a mature person who has been loved by many for years. It's here that Hinata Shoyo realizes that he understands the countless feelings unleashed within him. He understands that love, self-care, patience, saudade and affection are all volleyball too, and that he has always had this entire spectrum of deep feelings in his big heart.

After difficult months in which he thought he didn't fit into such a world, Shoyo now embraces the culture without abandoning his roots. He loves and lets himself be loved by everyone, and after so many comparisons between sweat and tears, Shoyo can finally arrive at his apartment by the sea, revel in the warm, salty breeze against his golden skin and feel embraced by the sky as he chants: “I'm home now.”

Chapter Text

When the first fireworks explode in the dotted, sparkling sky like a rainbow of butterflies in the bloom of spring, Shoyo jumps up and down with excitement as he gets ready for the New Year countdown.

“Ten!”

“Nine!”

“Eight!”

With every second that passes, Shoyo remembers the moments he lived immersed in a new culture. He remembers the feeling of loneliness that plagued his chest and the arduous process for his tears until they became just a memory.

“Seven!”

“Six!”

“Five!”

With every second that flies, Shoyo remembers when he first met sand, the grains being hard at first but becoming gentle as he became familiar with them. That golden soil is no longer his enemy and the wind, even though it is tameless, helped Shoyo with the flapping of his new wings.

“Four!”

“Three!”

“Two!”

Every second that comes from Shoyo’s mouth, he hums excitedly with his arms raised to the heavens, feeling accomplished for having faced a new world and becoming someone he can be proud of. Shoyo beams to the sky, his eyes shining with each wave that reaches him until his feet are submerged.

“One!”

“FELIZ ANO NOVO!!!” Heitor and Nice start singing and Shoyo pulls them into a group hug, the three jumping and spinning as they celebrate the arrival of a new cycle.

Pedro has an adorable smile plastered on his lips, clapping his hands shyly. He doesn't seem to know how to react so Shoyo leaves the circle until he can throw his arms around his friend’s neck, hugging him tightly.

“OBRIGADO POR TUDO, PEDRO!!!!” Shoyo screams from the top of his lungs, too excited to not be loud. “Hope you have a wonderful year.”

Pedro wraps his arms around him and buries his face in his friend’s bare shoulder, Shoyo laughing softly when he feels the moisture in Pedro’s eyes against his warm skin.

“Obrigado você, Shoyo,” Pedro sniffles. “I dont think I'm ready to see you leave.”

Shoyo sucks in a sharp breath, his lip wobbling but still smiling weakly. “Neither am I,” he admits, voice as soft as bread dough. “But we still have some time left. And one day I will be back so I can take care of you more!”

Before the two start crying in that cozy embrace, Heitor and Nice reappear around them, throwing their arms behind Shoyo and Pedro as they rest their cheeks on top of their heads.

“Don't cry, my boys,” Nice says between giggles. “Let's all jump in the ocean already!!!”

A famous New Year’s Eve tradition in Brazil is jumping seven waves at midnight, making wishes with each jump. Shoyo has seen many families doing this, and wondered if one day it would be his turn to live such an experience alongside people dear to him.

It may have taken a while, but his long-awaited day has finally come.

Shoyo jumps over those waves as if he were stepping into a field of flowers, without the intention of taking flight. He just wants to revel in the feel of the water at his feet, in the amusing sound of his friends’ laughter surrounding him, and in the warmth their presence brings. Shoyo just wants to live this moment to the fullest, with the warm breeze caressing his features, his ginger curls swirling in the wind, and the damp sand gathering between the gaps of his toes.

After a long, arduous stage in his life, Shoyo deserves to enjoy every moment that life has to offer. Isn't that what they say out there? If you have a lemon, make a lemonade. So if life gives him kind people to become his ,  Shoyo will gladly envelop them in his arms and never let go. Actually, life didn't give him anything out of nowhere. Everything and everyone that Hinata Shoyo has in life are byproducts of his choices, of his own determination. Heitor, Nice and Pedro are by his side now because all of them, together , made it happen. All of them together made their paths on the wheel of life cross so that they can be reunited now.

That's why Shoyo doesn't regret his past choices. Because his past decisions are what shape his present, his choices carve the reality in which he can be happy by their side, doing what he loves most. Nowadays, Shoyo is aware that every fragment that builds him daily, every piece of joy that makes him smile and laugh from the bottom of his lungs, all of this, without exception, is also volleyball.

That's why on the day of his departure, there are no tears gathering in the corners of Shoyo’s eyes. His expression is serene as he talks to his friends, who look at him with stars in their eyes filled with genuine fondness. Pedro turns into a sobbing mess when he throws himself at Shoyo and wraps him in a tight hug; Shoyo does his best to reassure him, saying that one day he will be back to see them all again and to cook yummy meals for his beloved roommate. He continues stroking the boy’s hair with one hand while the other keeps him safe in his arms, a fond smile painting his lips. Shoyo always hugs Natsu this way when she's crying and needs warm comfort so that her tears can evaporate and be replaced by innocent laughs.

At that moment, Shoyo also realizes that as soon as he hugs his little sister tomorrow, Pedro’s memories will be fresh in his mind, since he is the first piece of family he has treasured on that land. Pedro is a little brother to him and Shoyo will carry this boy forever in his heart, always valuing his happiness and supporting him from anywhere in the world.

Shoyo hugs all the other members of his large, precious Brazilian family and bows in a form of gratitude, in a way of saying “muito obrigado mesmo” for showering him with love when what he had most in his chest was anguish. Certain that he will see them again one day, Shoyo waves with a wide smile on his face as he heads towards the departure lounge at Tom Jobim International Airport. Two years ago he found himself in that same hallway, like a hungry boy aspiring for new achievements.

Even at that time, Shoyo was sure of what to do, he knew that failure was not an option. He would do anything to be able to do everything on the court, even if it was necessary to go back to the basics of volleyball. It was like a promise he'd made to himself, and as he flies back home, Shoyo feels in his chest the lightness of this promise being fulfilled to the fullest.

Chapter Text

Shoyo wakes up the next day with the first beams of sunlight peeking through the curtain. It's past 5 a.m and even though he's on vacation, Shoyo’s body still moves through the routine that he carves out daily. He gets up, stretches his arms and watches the last traces of winter through the window, the snow giving way to spring and its pink cherry flowers.

It still seems surreal, but the view of the Japanese winter bathing in the dim sunlight makes him more aware of the reality: Shoyo is really back home.

It's March 2018 and Shoyo finds himself back in his homeland after two years abroad and although much has changed, the essence of Miyagi remains the same. Being back home is like diving back into fresh water instead of salty, it's like lying in his backyard and inhaling the smell of wet grass while his body is bathed in the sun. It's like taking a slow sip of matcha in front of the fireplace on cold days, with Natsu and Shoyo side by side sharing a large blanket. Being back home with his family, Shoyo realizes, is what nostalgia feels like.

And he knows he will feel this same note of nostalgia once he is back in Brazil one day.

Even though Shoyo still doesn't know when he will return, he knows he should do it in the future. Seeing his Brazilian friends again is a key factor for him, along with the places and foods he learned to love. More than anything, Shoyo wants to, no, he needs to feel the sensation of sand beneath his feet again. Beach volleyball grew intensely fonder inside his chest, like a treasure discovered without even being looked for. It was like a find along the way, something that was just a small curve to follow but that became a long path that Shoyo intends to walk again one day.

Of course, indoor volleyball is where Shoyo’s heart lives, but he wouldn't mind holding the beach in his heart and being the happiest person in the world while jumping under the sun again, his tan coloring his skin more and making the colors in his sight the warmest and most perfect in the world.

This is how Shoyo feels when he plays volleyball.

And he will continue to feel that way, regardless of the country he is playing in.

The house is still silent when he leaves his bedroom, so Shoyo decides to takes charge of the kitchen today. He puts water on the stove, takes some eggs from the fridge, coconut milk and a package of couscous that he brought from Brazil. His yoga mat is already in the living room, carefully positioned in the corner where the golden sunlight shines through.

While positioning himself on it, Shoyo remembers the first time he meditated, back when he still lived in Rio. It has been weeks since that time, but the feeling of having grains of sand warming his skin and the smell of salt water brought by the wind entering his nostrils is still very fresh. It's very familiar. His time in Brazil was important for Shoyo to learn that sometimes you just need to stop and breathe to see the world from a new perspective, basking in the feeling of having a new chance to turn the page and start over.

A fresh start was everything Shoyo needed when he went abroad and now his optimism for his future is greater than ever.

As soon as Shoyo returns to finish preparing breakfast, he hears soft footsteps coming from the hallway.

“Bom dia, filho,” his mother yawns and rubs the corners of her eyes, walking into the kitchen in sweatpants. “You didn't need to wake up so early today.”

“Bom dia, mãe,” Shoyo turns back but doesn't stop stirring the scrambled eggs. It makes him happy every time his mother tries to speak in Portuguese here and there, as a way of reminding Shoyo of the land where part of his heart built a home. “Wanted to prepare breakfast for you guys.”

His mother looks at him with downcast eyes, smiling fondly. “We should be the ones spoiling you today, you know?”

Shoyo giggles. “Nah, don't worry! I wanna impress you with this new recipe I learned,” he finally takes the eggs out of the pan and pours them into a shallow dish. The table is already positioned with everything they need: chopsticks, spoons, bowls, scrambled eggs and couscous with coconut milk. It's a simple breakfast, but Shoyo hopes to convey a silent thank you in every mouthful for everything his mother and Natsu did for him while he lived abroad. “Is Natsu still sleeping?”

“Of course not,” the said one appears in the hallway already dressed in volleyball training clothes, red curls loose in adorable spirals. Natsu’s energy is already radiant and the sun is still rising with a faint light, hidden behind the horizon. Shoyo believes that the name Hinata truly carries an aura of sunshine in everyone in the family. “Mom and I were planning to make breakfast since you're back, but you ruined our plans as always, nii-chan!”

“I really appreciate your gesture, lil sis. But I'm in charge today, okay?” Shoyo reaches out to pat the top of her head.

As expected, Natsu puffs her cheeks out. “Stop being so clingy and stubborn!”

“Said the stubborn,” Shoyo teases.

“Okay okay, no fights before breakfast,” their mother also dips her fingers into Natsu’s curls, which are long enough to tie into a ponytail. Both have changed subtly in the two years that Shoyo has been away, and every new detail he notices in them leaves him with a warm heart and watery eyes.

Shoyo can't say that in front of them though, unless he wants Natsu teasing and calling him Clingy-Sho all day.

The three continue yapping while enjoying breakfast. Shoyo watches in awe as soft hums escape Natsu’s mouth while she eats the couscous, her tongue adorably peeking out to lick crumbs from the corner of her lips. Their mother pinches Shoyo’s cheek with each spoonful, saying how proud she is of his new cooking skills. Shoyo does his best to hide his wide smile as he rubs the back of his neck, but he ends up looking like a crazy person laughing alone into his bowl.

He can't stop the joy from spreading through his features so the only option now is let his emotions flow at will.

The excitement shining behind Shoyo’s smile is also due to the fact that he has an appointment today. In the afternoon, he will take the first bus to Osaka, the city where he is going to his first professional team tryout. The city where Bokuto Kotaro, Miya Atsumu and Sakusa Kiyoomi play for the MSBY Black Jackals, one of the best teams in the Division 1 of the V.League.

The pressure might seem huge as people Shoyo has played against in the past are already steps ahead, but he doesn't let himself be shaken. Shoyo understands his own pace, he understands that it's by taking one step at a time that he will get there. He will take the stage against the best in Japan and defeat a certain someone—a person who helped him make his way through Brazil even from afar.

So when the clock strikes 3 p.m and the bus driver starts calling passengers to board, Shoyo keeps a calm smile on his face. There is no reason to be afraid now. There is no reason to be distressed when he has already been through so many things, when Shoyo himself has already achieved so many things. Who in their right mind decides to travel to the other side of the world alone at the age of 19 and still consider themselves weak?

Not Shoyo.

That's why he sees all the reasons in the world to keep smiling. He understands the extent of his own strength and knows more than anyone that he can do it.

Failing was never an option for him after all.

“I guess it's time to say bye again,” Shoyo says under his breath, a weak sigh leaving his body. To be honest, it's harder for him to say goodbye to his family again than to face the whole generation of monsters. Facing stronger opponents than him is common in Shoyo’s life, but being away from the people he loves still leaves him with a heavy heart and dry lips, anticipating the feeling of longing.

As if sensing Shoyo’s insecurity, his mother frames his face and squeezes his cheeks like she used to do when he was a child. There are small tears glistening in the corners of her eyes, but before Shoyo can tell her not to cry, he is pulled down until his mother can press a loving kiss to the tiny freckles of his forehead, her warm lips soothing his heart and making him giggle in amusement.

That maternal affection is yet another reason for Shoyo to beam as dazzling as the sunrise.

And it also gives him the guarantee he needs to understand that he will have them by his side even from afar. Forever and always.

“Don't forget to bring your omamori to your tryout,” Natsu squeezes the small keychain in her brother’s backpack. It's an amulet that she entrusted to him before he went to Brazil so that Shoyo would always be showered with protection anywhere in the globe, which leaves him lighthearted.

“I won't,” Shoyo promises, eyes getting damp in the corners. There's no way he wouldn't be touched by his sister’s gesture.

“I'm sure you'll meet Tobio-nii on the court in a few months,” Natsu declares confidently. “And you will be the happiest boys in the world as soon as you see each other.”

Shoyo’s heart skips a beat, impressed by how his sister interprets their relationship so... naturally. “Yeah,” he smiles fondly. “I'm sure I'll be happier to see him on the other side of the net.”

“I'm sure he thinks the same,” his mother agrees, notes of pride stamping her words. “He's been waiting for you for years.”

Shoyo can't suppress the slight blush that rises to his cheeks when he imagines the Kageyama Tobio waiting for him on the top of the world.

He is more than ready to face him as soon as possible; Shoyo's more than ready to show that his skills are as radiant as the biggest stars in the universe, and his family’s words encourage him further on his journey to reach and conquer the sun he deserves.

“Bye, Natsu! Mom!” With a large smile on his face, bright enough to steal the sun’s spotlights, Shoyo infiltrates down the bus aisle and settles into the window seat, waving to his family for the last time that day.

As soon as he realizes the lightness in his heart, Shoyo is pretty sure that he's home now. He always was after all. Just as Karasuno was also his home, just as the small apartment he lived in with Pedro was his tiny dwelling—Shoyo was always able to create shelter wherever his heart wanted to flourish.

He now flies in search of a new team that will bring him the same sense of belonging as in the past. More than ever, Shoyo wants to belong to indoor volleyball in Japan again. He wants to belong to his family, to his friends, to a new team and to someone once more. He wants to live intensely in his homeland and rebuild his life with all the cultural baggage he accumulated along the way.

After all, being able to bloom anywhere is one of the most beautiful parts of the life Shoyo found on his way home.