Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nothing seemed amiss. Not at first. Well, except for the body but that was pretty usual for a midnight hour of their shift in Los Angeles. They say it’s the wolves that go crazy when it’s a full moon but from Eddie’s experience, it was the people that seemed to lose all sense and rationality when even the hint of the moon peeks out from the dense smog to wink down at them. 

“Sorry to wake you up for a DOA,” Athena said, her uniform looking a little ragged like she’d been moving non stop since she put it on. “But I need someone to call it.”

“Whoa,” Chimney said, his arm lifting up to brace his face against the picture in front of him and the sharp tang of coppery blood in the air. Eddie caught the glowing blue of his dragon crawling down his arm to his fingertips, mouth wide and wings expanded as his magic flared to life. 

Eddie sensed it too. His wolf stirred beneath his skin at the scent of death and feral inhibitions mingled in the air. But he didn’t need his wolf or Chimney’s magic to tell him what he was seeing. He had two eyes and a stomach that was churning at the poor woman’s mauled, mangled body. Flesh and silk were torn without prejudice with her lingerie left into nothing but ribbons. The scents in the air were a war of contradictions. Sweet floral perfume wilted under the sharpness of blood and sweat and fear. Her hair was matted with just the sticky acidic scent of hairspray lingering. Her arm was outstretched towards the overturned bedside table where a phone laid on the ground just out of reach. 

She’d tried to call for help. 

It was a miracle she’d even got that far by the amount of blood she’d lost. 

Eddie breathed through his mouth out of practice as he dropped his gaze to the floor and tried to give the woman some dignity even in death. Whoever had killed her hadn’t even done that. 

The exhaustion from being woken up from a dead sleep by the bell was always heavier when they were called into cases like that. Eddie had seen worse, lived through worse in a too hot desert with a moon he couldn’t sing to unless he wanted to get shot. But it was different being in his home territory. 

“Feral?” Bobby asked and Athena shot him the same tired look in her eyes as she shrugged. 

“That’s what why I requested you. It looks like it to me.” 

LAPD were already dragging lines of yellow crime scene tape from one point of entry to another with the splashes of red and blue lights flickering on the walls. 

“And you’re sure it was a wolf?” Hen asked, already stretching on a set of gloves as she carefully stepped across the room to the woman. 

Eddie understood. They had seen worse on the job that were the fault of humans. Much worse humans that gave wolves a run for their money in the unfeeling brutality.

But Hen was human. She couldn’t smell the sour possessive scent of rage the way they could. She couldn’t feel the way the ground trembled with the footprints left in the carpet from the way the wolf had prowled back and forth, snarling and gnashing his teeth. 

“Definitely,” Chimney answered for Athena, his fingers hovering in the air in front of him. “An angry one too.”

“We’ve got units out but my guess? He’s long gone by now. Her purse and wallet are still here.” Athena pointed at the forgotten belongings that didn’t even look like they’d been touched let alone rifled through. “Doesn’t look like a robbery gone bad.”

“She’s gone,” Hen said with a sigh. 

Athena dragged her teeth over her top lip as she shook her head. 

“Do we have an ID?” Eddie pulled up the clipboard where he—

The sharp scent of fear flared to life like a spark catching light. Eddie’s wolf thrashed beneath his skin as his lungs went tight, his senses vibrating into one singular focus as rang in his skull.

Danger!

Run!

            Go!

Run!

                                                                                   Danger!

                                                     Danger!

Eddie would’ve doubled over at the assault if it weren’t for the way the sharp thin whine cut through him like a knife. 

His spine lit up with prickling alertness that burrowed into his skin and nestled into his hatches until they rose. Eddie looked up at the body, to Athena and Hen who were the two most exposed members of their little makeshift pack, but they were staring behind him with their own expressions of concern. 

Something shuffled like a boot being dragged on the carpet before another thin, quieter whine nestled in between his ribs and pierced his heart until he thought he was bleeding out. The air felt too still as Eddie turned to where the others were looking. 

Buck was maybe five feet away from Eddie but even from where he was standing he could see the trembling wrecking across his frame. Sharp, shuddering trembles that rippled all the way down his shoulders and into his fingers as they flexed at his side. His blue eyes flashed orange, wide and frantic, jerking around like there was something he couldn’t find but knew was there. Eddie didn’t think he was breathing! His nostrils flared like he was sucking inhale after inhale of whatever he was smelling but no air was falling from his lips except on the smallest raining of whines. 

Sharp, terrified whines.

No.

No, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t be…

The scent was there. Tobacco and pepper and rage. So much bleeding rage cloying the room that Buck didn’t understand how no one was suffocating on it. 

But… No! No. He couldn’t—

“Buck?” 

Movement. Too sudden. Too fast. Buck flinched back into the corner and bared his teeth as his vision streaked. 

It took Buck too long to realize that the low, deep growl filling his ears was coming from himself. It vibrated in his chest and broke off into a whine he couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried. 

Bobby was in front of him, shielding Chimney with such a commanding presence that Buck wanted to bow to the weight of his authority and submit. If only to feel safe for a second so he could breathe. 

He never thought he would smell that scent again but it was there and surrounding him and circling him like prey. 

Buck shook his head. His wolf was clawing at his chest until Buck didn’t know how his sharp claws hadn’t shredded his heart where it was slamming against his ribcage. 

                                         Not safe.

Not safe.

                                                    Run!

Run!

Hide!

                   Run! 

“Buck,” Bobby said slowly and Buck flinched at the sound of his own name. “What is it?”

Another thin whine slipped past the knot lodged in his throat and fell from his lips as he stared at his alpha. Bobby was there. Bobby was safe. Buck was safe with Bobby. 

But no one was safe. Buck could smell the feral rage. It was poison in the air that made Buck want to gag. 

Bobby took a cautious step forward and Buck bared his throat before he even realized what he was doing. Bobby’s eyes widened. 

“Okay,” he said, crossing the distance between them and settling his warm palm into the curve of Buck’s throat. Buck’s muscles gave out beneath the weight and he pushed into Bobby’s space like he wanted to hide in his shadow. “Okay, kid. Come on. Let’s take a walk.”

Buck wasn’t even aware of moving before the crisp fresh air filled his lungs and Buck was able to inhale a clean breath for the first time in what felt like ages. He thought that maybe his knees buckled for a moment because Bobby’s hand lifted from his throat only for his arm to wrap around Buck’s waist and hoist him back up. 

“Easy Buck,” Bobby said as he all but dragged Buck to the truck. The scent of pack filled Buck’s senses as Bobby sat Buck down on the running board. The cold metal steel was sharp through Buck’s uniform pants and seeped into his muscles but Buck’s wolf was still writhing and twisting under his skin. 

Danger!

Danger!

Danger!

The wounded sound that left Buck’s lips didn’t even sound like him but he didn’t care. He was blind with the bubbling panic burning like battery acid at the back of his throat as he scrambled for Bobby, for alpha. His nails snagged on Bobby’s shirt and his arm before Bobby was pressing into his space and cupping the back of his neck with his hand again. The crown of Buck’s head bumped into Bobby’s chest just as a deep rumble built up for Buck to hear. 

“Just breathe, pup,” Bobby murmured, as he pulsed his hand against Buck’s throat. “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t. It wasn’t even close to being okay. Buck knew that scent. That scent had haunted his waking hours and took center stage of his nightmares for months afterwards. He was there! He was in the same city as him! He could still be there! Athena said they thought he was gone but they couldn’t know for sure and if that was the case no one was safe! 

Buck pushed into Bobby’s chest as he tried to speak; tried to warn him that they had to run! They had to get everyone out of there! They weren’t safe! 

Buck’s skin crawled as his wolf whined at him to shift. He’d have a chance then. He’d be stronger! Faster! He could get away! He could get away!

“Buck.” Bobby warned, his hand squeezing Buck’s neck like he could sense the shift twitching in his muscles. 

Buck exhaled out a whine that shuddered through him like it was hitting every single one of his ribs on the way out. He breathed in Bobby’s scent and tried to burn the memory away before it swallowed him whole. Bobby smelled like home. Like smoke and black coffee and sage. Like home because Buck was there. He was in his uniform with the fire truck at his back and his alpha at his front. He was home. Not in the forest with the wet leaves and mud sliding beneath his feet. 

“That’s it,” Bobby said and his other hand smoothed back Buck’s hair. Bobby’s palm squeezed his neck and Buck took all the comfort from that touch like it was water. “That’s it, kid. Just relax, Buck.” 

One by one the chains around his panic snapped free until Buck was a twitching husk of himself trying to breathe. His skin felt ice cold even though his blood felt like it was on fire, burning in his veins. Sweat slid into the small of his back to collect there and dampened at his collarbone where throat met shoulder. The panic was still fuzzy like static on his spine but Bobby’s hand was serving as a circuit breaker that stopped it from climbing to his brain to take over again. It was a grounding weight that soothed Buck’s frayed nerves and kept him to heel even though his wolf was pacing and agitated, painfully aware of the people around and the scent of death starting to ooze from the door. One by one the tension that had locked all his joints released just a fraction until his hands slipped away from where he’d been gripping Bobby hard enough to bruise. 

A distant, far away part of his brain was surprised his nails were still human. Everything felt like it was being held on a knife’s edge. 

Bobby’s thumb shifted to press against Buck’s pulse point in throat and his wolf huffed as he sensed the steady beat of Bobby’s own. 

Thumpthumpthump 

Steady.

Steady...

Safe. 

Alpha.

               Alphafatherbrotherpackpackpack.... 

“Talk to me, Buck,” Bobby said, his voice low like he was underwater. “What’s going on? What do you sense?”

Words felt like a distant concept when his brain was still fighting all his survival instincts telling him to run. Buck unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth to gasp through several shuddering breaths.

“S-Scent-t.” 

It was all he could manage then. 

“What about it?” 

Another dash of cold washed over Buck at the reasonable question but he couldn’t. Not when answering felt like willingly pushing into a bruise deep inside of him. 

“Cap?” Buck was more than a little grateful that Bobby’s body managed to hide the way Chimney’s voice made him jump. “How is he?”

Buck snapped his jaw shut with an audible click. 

Chim. Oh God… He’d growled at Chim. 

Embarrassment curdled in Buck’s gut. 

He’d growled at Chim! 

“Is he okay?” That was Hen. 

Despite everything in him begging him to stay, to take what little steady comfort he could from his alpha, Buck pushed himself away. He ignored the concern frown that was pulling at Bobby’s lips and stared back as Chim and Hen hurried over to him with their medkits in hand. 

“Chim…” The words caught in Buck’s throat and he cleared through the last cobwebs of panic before he stood up. “Chim, I’m sorry.”

“Nah forget it, Buckaroo.” Chimney swiped his hand between them before he hovered his palm over Buck like he was trying to read him. Maybe he was. Buck never could catch the whispers in the air of Chimney’s magic like Bobby and Eddie could. His magic always felt more like wisps of static. The kind that made his hair on his arm stand on end. “You okay? You had us all a little freaked.”

Hen stepped up behind him and Buck smelled it again. 

Tobacco and pepper and so much rage that it made the back of Buck’s throat burn. 

He recoiled back before he could stop himself. 

Hen and Chimney froze and the rumble from Bobby’s chest was almost enough to have Buck baring his throat again. 

No. He could see the questions bubbling up onto the surface in his friends expressions and Buck couldn’t. That memory was supposed to stay gone and buried. 

But that scent…

Buck’s wolf scraped at the seal of his resolve. All the memories and emotions curdling in the acidity of his regrowing panic were too much to bear and now he had embarrassment too. Embarrassment and worry on his friends’ faces when Athena had probably been right all along. He was long gone. His scent was just an echo, not a pressure pressing down on a point until he suffocated. 

Bobby was a solid wall of steadiness beside Buck as the world felt like it was one gust away from shattering apart. 

“Shift, Buck. We should be moving out soon anyway.” Bobby didn’t so much as suggest it as he gave Buck permission and Buck almost buckled again in relief. 

Buck scrambled into the truck with a franticness that made his fingers numb. He felt like he was drunk as he slammed the door shut and tried to block out everything in the darkness of the cab. Guilt churned in his stomach as he stripped off his uniform. He was working. They were at a scene and he had a job to do. 

But Buck needed to make things simpler or else it felt like his brain was going to explode. Buck pushed his clothes into his seat before he finally gave into his instincts and shifted. 

A long thin whine stretched out from his chest as his bones broke and his muscles folded before his fur spread over him with a protective warmth. 

Then he was…

He was…

He was wolf. 

Buck was wolf. 

Wolf surrounded by scents so vibrant that it was almost washed with colors on his senses. 

Wet payment warm from the underbelly of engines.

Oil and grease and rubber and smoke and... 

Pack pack pack...

So much like pack, Buck wanted to roll in it. Buck pushed back onto his hind legs and stretched his spine before he shook out his soft honey gold fur. 

The cab was too small and Buck was too big. He was caged in and cramped but Buck was safe. He’d curled up in smaller places before and he could do it then too. 

“What’s the matter with him?”

“I don’t know.” 

Buck whined as he tucked his legs up to his body and flattened his ears to his head. He didn’t want to hear his friends or their confusion or concern. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to the station and forget that scent again. He wanted to pretend like his heart wasn’t hammering in his chest loud enough for even the humans to hear. 

He wanted it all to stop. 

Buck squeezed his eyes shut and tried to will away the nightmare that was rattling around in his skull. 

So stupid! He’d been so stupid! 

Evan’s lungs heaved in his chest as his sneakers slipped beneath the wet leaves and mud, his toe digging into the earth as it gave way under him. He yelped as he flung his arms out to catch him and the sharp pain of split skin burned with a white hot fire he couldn’t put out. 

Where was he? How had he let himself get led away so far from anyone who could help? So fucking stupid! So—

The gnarled growl and the ice in Evan’s veins burned. Dirt caked under his fingernails as he clawed his way back up and started to run. 

The metal latch clicked as the door swung open and Buck let out a warning growl before he could help himself. 

Pack… Pack… Pack…

“Move over, Buckaroo,” Hen said as she stepped into the cab, her skin smelling like disinfectant and soap and blessedly like herself again. 

She stepped around him and got into a seat before holding out her palm as if asking for forgiveness and Buck sat up so he could push himself into her hand. Warm familiar fingers soothed through his fur and Buck settled his head on her thigh as the others filled in. Bobby with his powerful presence that pushed into Buck’s consciousness like the moon. There and present and something he couldn’t ignore if he tried. Chimney with his magic that smelled like saffron and cedarwood and lightning that tickled Buck’s nose. 

Spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. 

A scent that washed over him and kept him from running. Eddie's eyes were boring into him even from the other side of the truck. His heartbeat was a harmonizing melody to Buck’s own. 

Hen’s teeth were buried in her bottom lip as she stared out the window but her hand was a steady motion of petting that didn’t waver even as the truck rolled into motion. 

Buck closed his eyes and let himself bask in pack…pack…pack… Hen. Hen petting. Hen petting him. He liked pets. He shouldn’t. He was a wolf. A big strong wolf with teeth. But he liked pets. Pets from Hen were warm and nice. 

“He okay?” Chimney whispered and Hen’s fingers kneaded the space between his ears where they twitched at Chimney’s concern. 

Buck melted against her and let her leg take on more of his weight as he let out a rumble of content. 

“I think so,” she said and Buck was too spent to even be mad that they were talking as if he wasn’t right there.  

They were confused. Buck didn’t need to look to know they were confused. Confused and worried which always led to questions and more questions and then prying when their curiosity wasn’t satisfied with the answers. Buck could feel the confusion and the worry thrumming in the bonds that connected all of them together as pack. 

It’d never seemed to matter to his team that he was a turned wolf. Bobby and Eddie were wolves too. But they were born wolves. And Chimney had his magic. Hen was human, so blessedly human, but she didn’t need magic or wolves to be extraordinary. 

Buck was different though. He was turned. He hadn’t come from long familial packs where he would’ve grown up knowing that he never would’ve been quite so alone during a full moon. He was different and he’d been so stupid to forget that. 

But he’d just thought that he’d never smell that scent again. 

No. He didn’t want to think about that. He wanted pets from Hen. 

The truck rolled to a stop and Buck’s ears twitched as the bay doors tumbled and groaned open. Bobby slipped out and Buck had to swallow his whine before he embarrassed himself even more. 

They all patiently waited for the truck to back up and once the truck rocked to a stop as the brakes engaged, Buck pawed at the door to be let out. 

He needed to stretch and he needed to pee. The world was simpler as a wolf. 

Stretch, pee, eat, sleep. 

Maybe he could get away with sleeping shifted. It wouldn’t be practical if they got another call and the others would worry but Buck wasn’t ready yet. Not when he could still smell the rage. 

It was easier as a wolf. 

Buck was wolf. 

The door latched open and Buck jumped out, brushing past Bobby to sniff at everything and make sure all was as it should’ve been. 

Their territory smelled like oil and rubber and sweat and soap and pack pack pack . Like coconut lotion that lingered on Hen’s clothes in her locker. Like all the homemade meals Bobby labored over in the kitchen as they sat at the table with rumbling stomachs. Like the static sharpness of Chimney’s magic that followed him everywhere he went. Like Eddie who always smelled like spiced chocolate and night skies and a bonfire. 

Buck’s heart flipped in his chest as Eddie’s scent permeated his senses when he jumped out behind him. 

“Buck.” Bobby called and Buck walked over to him with disappointment making his tail droop. Bobby fixed Buck with a look that was every bit as commanding as it was worried. 

His eyes flashed red and Buck’s attention focused only on him, on his alpha. 

“You have an hour then I need you back here. And you call if you need me.”

Pack pack pack...

Alpha alpha alpha.

                            Buck run.

Buck wolf.

Wolf run.

Runrunrun! 

Buck bumped his head against Bobby’s hip before he launched a sprint out of the station. His nails and paws skidded across the concrete as he stumbled for traction before he broke through the bay doors and found his footing. 

Then Buck made a break for the trees and ran. 

The small patch of woods behind the station was as familiar as the fire house. The scent of Bobby and Eddie and the couple of other wolves that filled the roster lingered in the earth and the trees. It wasn’t much but it was something for them whenever they needed to run and get out some excess energy humming under their veins. 

Buck used to spend hours there when he was a probie. When he didn’t have anywhere to go and the thought of being alone again made his skin crawl, he’d shift after work and roll around in the mud and grass until he was covered in sweat and pack pack pack . 

Not that they were much of a pack back then. 

He could still remember that night Bobby had pinned him to the wall with a growl so fierce in his chest that Buck had thought Bobby was going to rip his throat out. Terror had seized up every one of his muscles until Buck almost couldn’t breathe even as his heart fractured again when he remembered what Bobby had said a month earlier: This is not a pack. It’s not a clubhouse. 

It’d only been through sheer stubbornness alone that Buck hadn’t bared his neck to the older wolf and a plane crash that had saved them both from Bobby demanding it. 

Bobby had only been the fourth wolf Buck had met by then and he couldn’t help but long for the connection. Loneliness was poison for a wolf. Buck had thought he’d known what it was to be lonely but then he’d been turned and—

Buck swallowed back the whine that threatened to spill out of him then. 

No. No good would come from that memory. He had family now. He had pack. He was safe as he ran through their territory with the scents of the fire house nipping at his heels. The heart beats of his pack thrummed in the ground and the mud where they’d spent so many hours running and exploring. 

And maybe he was wrong. 

Maybe it wasn’t him. Maybe Buck had caught a sliver of familiarity and allowed himself to get caught up in his own panic and fear. 

That couldn’t happen again. Buck couldn’t let himself turn into that scared pup hiding underneath the seat in his Jeep. He was a wolf. He was a firefighter. He was pack pack pack and Buck couldn’t let himself get lost in those memories. 

Buck ran until he couldn’t run anymore and then he pushed himself some more. His heart heaved in his chest until it felt like it was going to explode. Sweat dampened under his coat and Buck lost himself to his senses as the moon fueled his soul. It sang down to him even though he couldn’t see it. It wasn’t full. Not yet. And they all had plans to spend it together so they could sing back as a pack. 

Pack pack—

Buck sensed him like he felt his own heartbeat. Spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. Eddie broke through the trees making a clumsy show of stepping on leaves and twigs with his big wolf paws like he didn’t think Buck wouldn’t have heard him; like he didn’t think Buck wasn’t aware of where he was every minute he was awake. 

Eddie’s wolf was as beautiful as he was. Black and brown fur all along his back and powerful legs dripping into the soft caramel coat that shifted into white on his feet and belly. Eddie was bigger than Buck as a wolf with a strong build and a confidence in his every step. 

Buck could hear him in his head. He could hear the low timber of Eddie’s voice in his mind as he said pack pack Buck. 

Here.

Here Buck.

I’m here.

I found you.

I’m here.

Buck Buck Buck. 

And it was so warm. Eddie in Buck’s head was so warm. Eddie was always so warm even when Buck felt like he was nothing but a block of ice with lungs. His bond gave off heat and affection and something a little more that they’d both pretended wasn’t there. 

Eddie huffed as he spotted Buck and crossed the distance between them in two easy strides. He dipped his head and rubbed up against Buck’s cheek, scenting all over him as he pushed his body into Buck’s own. Buck stumbled under the weight of him but he could hear Eddie’s fondness and exasperation. His worry too. His worry was bright and heavy even though Eddie was trying to hide it. Buck could hear it in Eddie’s heartbeat. 

Thump thump thump.

Buckpackhere.

I’m here.

Buck Buck Buck. 

It made Buck’s wolf want to sing. Eddie made Buck’s wolf want to sing. Buck pushed back against him and inhaled the scent of him. Of the spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. It was such a distinct scent that drove Buck crazy from the first moment he’d smelled it. It had taken everything in Buck not to shove his face in Eddie’s throat and inhale deeply the first time they met. 

Eddie butted his head against Buck’s and Buck could hear him. 

Thump thump thump.

Stupid.

          Stupid trying to hide.

                          Stupid you think I won’t follow. I

found you.

I’m here.

Here.

Here Buck.

I’m here. 

Buck pushed into the bonds as Eddie curled around him, throat to throat as their scents became one. 

I’m okay.

I ’m sorry.

And maybe it didn’t mean anything. Maybe it was what it meant to be pack. But it meant everything to Buck. 

Eddie nipped at Buck’s ear and Buck rolled his body onto Eddie, knocking him over. They wrestled for a few moments and Buck could hear Eddie laughing. It was bright and warm and made Buck’s insides feel like syrup. 

Safe. 

Maybe that’s why Buck didn’t notice until it was too late. 

Chapter Text

Eddie turned just in time to avoid the teeth ripping out his throat. The claws, however, were unavoidable as they sank into his shoulders. 

Pain sliced across his back as Eddie yelped, tumbling off of Buck as solid muscle and fur and suffocating rage bulldozed into him. 

Rage rage rage! It was bearing down onto Eddie like it was trying to crush him. The scent of hot, all consuming rage and blood lust. It invaded Eddie’s senses and nearly stole his breath away, cloying at the back of his throat and trying to shove down into his esophagus. Panic seized up inside Eddie’s chest as his heart slammed against his ribcage. Panic and fear. Sharp,  mind numbing fear. 

Danger danger danger!

Run!                                                                   Must run!

Bite!

                        Fight.

Run run run!                                  

Buck.

                             Where’s Buck?

Buck Buck Buck. 

No.

       Not him.

              Can't be him.

                       Not him.

Eddie!                                                                                 Eddie!

                 Rage! So much rage!

Run.                                                    

Hide.

                                                      Run run run!

Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! 

Eddie snarled as he swiped his paw up at the thicket of rage, dragging his claws across the dark snout. He wriggled himself free, snapping up with his teeth as he kicked and scratched at the wolf on top of him. He rolled back onto his paws, putting distance between himself and the rage that was seeping into the air like poison even as the pain from his shoulder radiated down his entire back. 

Burns!

Burns!

So much pain!

So much rage!

Thump thump thump! 

Eddie’s hackle throbbed in time with his heartbeat and the whine that slipped from between his teeth was all but ripped out of him when his leg gave out. His fur was matted with blood he could feel oozing out beneath the cuts and he overcorrected as he tried to brace for another attack. He stumbled and Buck’s cry in his head sent him spinning until he losting his footing.

Eddie!

No!                         No!

Blood!                                               Run!

                            Hide!

                                             Eddie!

Eddie! 

The wolf charged at him with his mouth open wide and the feral blood lust choking him like black smoke. Golden fur filled his vision as powerful lean muscles launched in front of him and slammed into the wolf even as Buck’s yelp cut through the air like a gunshot. 

Eddie strained to see, scrambling to get his feet beneath him again, as he tried to find where the wolf managed to hit. But Buck simply tumbled after the wolf as they both fell into a heap of tangled limbs. Buck had the advantage of surprise but the wolf was massive and aiming to kill. Muscles from running in only wolf form bulged and rippled beneath long fur that was dark as charred wood, black and matted with sweat and blood. He writhed and turned until he snapped his jaw up at Buck’s throat. But Buck wriggled away, pushing himself even as he was whining high in the back of his throat. His terror coated the air like a thick fog as he fought against his instincts to run simply to keep the wolf away from Eddie. Buck batted and kicked and threw his whole body between Eddie and the wolf and all Eddie could hear was the thump thump thump of Buck’s heart hammering against his chest. 

Run!                         Hide!

Eddie!

Eddie!           Eddie!

Run!

Run!                    

              Run!

It was playing like a mantra in Buck’s skull as the wolf reared back on its hind legs and wrapped its arms around Buck’s neck. The loud snap of bones breaking mingled with Buck’s shriek of pain curdled in Eddie’s blood. Buck’s thoughts shattered into shards of agony in Eddie’s brain, cutting into his own until he didn’t know where Buck’s fear started and Eddie’s began. The wolf pinned Buck onto his back and pushed all his weight into the sickening shift of broken bones that made Buck cry out in pain even as he squirmed onto his stomach and tried to crawl free. Sharp, unfeeling teeth latched onto Buck’s flank and dragged him back even as his claws dug into the earth and Eddie heard Buck howling in his skull. 

No!

     No!

          Not him!

                Not him!

No!

Eddie                 Eddie                Eddie!

Not him!                         

Help!

                                Not again!

Help!                                                                       Alpha!

Pack pack pack!

Help!

                   Help! 

The sharp scent of piss cut across Eddie’s senses like a shock to his system. Buck’s heart was racing. He could hear it like it was his own. Thump thump thump. 

He was terrified. Not because of the wolf but of the wolf. 

Not him!

                                Not him!

                                                                                                                                 Not him!

He could hear Buck. Hear all the petrified cycle of Buck’s thoughts like a cold dagger to his spine. 

Run!                                 

Eddie!

Run! Run! Run!

Thump thump thump!

                                                    Please!

Eddie!                   

Eddie!

                         Eddie! 

Eddie saw red.

The snarl from Eddie’s own chest rumbled out of him as he dug his paws into the dirt and pushed himself up and all he saw was red red red as it burned across his vision. The rage from the other wolf was a toxin in his veins and spurring on his own anger. It was seeping into his skin like fumes he couldn’t break free and Buck was there in the heart of it, pinned down and squirming to break free. The agony on his shoulder spiked into something like an acid burn that nearly stole Eddie’s senses away and he could feel the healing wounds ripping open as his pulse hammered against his skull. 

And then Eddie saw it. Violet that flickered into red then back to violet. The wolf’s eyes burned between alpha and omega as his nostrils flared and Buck writhed beneath him like was burning along with it. 

His head was still pounding and Eddie clawed his way upright as his wolf shifted in the sweeping unease. The ringing in his ears built to a crescendo until Eddie almost didn’t hear it. But then he did and it was like a ricocheted assault on his head. 

                        Kill!

Mutts!

              Easy prey! 

It was an echo. Something that wasn’t directly in his head but caught in a feedback loop and invading his senses. Buck yowled. It was so much worse than the scent. The wolf’s being oozed of death and rage like invasive toxin taking root. 

Stupid little pups!

Kill!

                                 Kill!

Kil—

The wolf’s ears twitched at the shift of his focus and his nostrils inhaled again as his mouth widened with a monstrous show of his teeth. Buck breathed heavily as he whimpered. 

Scent.

I know that scent.

                               Dead.

                                                             You.

Little rabbit.

Rabbit dead.

Killed him.

                                                                                                           Ripped him.

                                            Tore him.

Dead.

Pup?

No?

                  Yes!

Packpackpack—

Eddie launched himself at the wolf and sank his claws into whatever part of him he could get. The wolf howled as Eddie clamped his teeth into his neck and rolled the wolf off Buck. He didn’t bite down even though every instinct in him was begging him to. His wolf was fighting to survive; to save him and his ma—

No no no!

Not pack.

Never pack.

Get out              get out               get out!

Pack pack pack!

Run!                           Hide!

                                                        Danger!

Eddie Eddie Eddie! 

Buck’s sharp whine of pain was the only reason Eddie kicked the wolf off him on their roll, using his momentum to flip onto his stomach. He pushed past the burning of his shoulder and stood between Buck and wolf, backing up so he could bat his tail at Buck to move. 

The ringing grew into an unbearable pressure as the wolf’s poison put thorns in his blood and threatened to shred them both from the inside out. Eddie flattened his ears to try and block it out but it was no use. 

            Pathetic.

Pathetic strays.

                      Filthy pups.

Kill!

Must hunt!

Kill both!

                        Find that scent in blood!

Fucking runt!

Little rabbit.

Should’ve stayed dead.

Kill again.

Kill.

Kill.

Kill. 

The wolf righted itself with barely even a shake of his coat before his violet eyes flashed on Eddie. Every inch of his spine arched as his lips drew back and Eddie braced for another attacked, one he didn’t think he had the energy for anymore. Buck was struggling to put weight on his leg and Eddie could feel blood oozing through his coat. 

But he had to. He had to protect Buck. He had to live. Thump thump thump! It was in his nature. Survival above all else. Survival and pack and Buck Buck Buck…

Eddie made what little peace he could as he waited for impact and the wolf launched himself at them with his teeth and his claws and his poison and his rage. 

The sound of Bobby’s body colliding with the wolf’s was like concrete splitting in two. The wolf yelped as Bobby’s teeth sank into the back of his neck and whipped him to the ground in an brutal display of dominance. 

Eddie would’ve been impressed if his heart wasn’t racing and the pain wasn’t stealing what energy he had left. Buck’s panicked thoughts were so loud. 

Alpha!

Bobby!                 Bobby!

Bobby run!

Run!

Hide!           Hide!

       It’s him!

Thump thump thump!

                                                                It’s him!

Not again!

No no no!                            

Bobby's broad strong back filled Eddie’s vision as he positioned himself between them and the other wolf and for a moment it was like the first spot of sunlight in the storm. 

Alpha.

Bobby.                   Bobby.

Alpha.

Thump                                                                                                                    thump.

Pack pack pack. 

Leave.

Bobby’s command rippled through the air like a current. 

The rage from before was almost enough to force Eddie to the ground. 

The wolf’s ears drew back as the violet flashed red and then violet before he reared up and aimed for Bobby’s throat. Bobby met him mid lunge and their teeth clashed in a snarled tangle. Eddie wanted to join in the fight, to back up his alpha, but the blood on his back was getting heavier and heavier until he didn’t think he could stand up. 

The ground churned with the ATV wheels and didn’t stop shaking as Chimney’s magic cut through the air. Eddie’s hair stood up straight along his spine, knotting up his hackles as Chimney all but jumped from the ATV with the crisp blue of his magic in his hands. 

The other wolf jerked his head in Chimney’s direction and snarled, spittle flying from his lips. 

            Witch. 

It was all the distraction Bobby needed to get his teeth on the wolf’s neck and throw him onto his back again, belly forced upward in submission similar to the one Eddie had been in. The wolf yipped and kicked, snapping up at Bobby as Bobby jumped over him and came back to stand in front of them. His tail was tucked low and rigid between his legs with his ears pinned back as another warning growl that Eddie felt all the way down to his bones rumbled out of Bobby. 

The wolf jerked back up onto his feet and paced in front of them, his violet eyes flashing between Bobby and Chimney and Eddie. But then the wind sent a cool vein of fresh air and the scent soured by the rage and territorial dominance turned sharp with terror. 

Thump thump thump. 

Violet eyes locked on Buck and the wolf coiled back onto his hind legs to jump. 

The ground began to shake before he could even leave the dirt. 

The pain was in the earth. Chimney could feel it even over his own as his magic sizzled through his veins and bled into the ground. Eddie’s blood was soaked in the soil and whatever was going on with Buck was there too. 

But Chimney didn’t focus on his friends’ hurts. Bobby was facing off with a feral wolf that had no qualms tearing them all to shreds and his magic was uncooperative on a good day. He’d been trying to wrangle control of it from the moment Bobby had stopped in his stride, his head cocked to the side before he took off with a sprint and shifted into his wolf without a second glance to see if Hen and Chimney followed. 

They’d all heard it. Heard it through the bonds that tied them together. The pain and the fear and Buck’s all consuming panic until Chimney could’ve sworn he’d tasted the bitterness of it on the back of his throat. Even Hen had heard it, the pack bonds flaring to life in her mind as she raced after Bobby. 

Black crept into his vision as he pushed his magic through him, shifting the sediment and roots beneath him. The ground rumbled and shook as his magic bent and twisted into the soil. Cracks buried deep from the earthquake widened and stretched to his will and Chimney kept his gaze focused on the wolf and his alpha. 

He could end it if he wanted; if he tried. His father had told him as much before he’d left after his mother refused to let him lock Chimney’s magic behind runes and symbols of black ink on his skin. He’d said that his magic would be left like an open current, volatile and dangerous, if he didn’t bind Chimney’s magic in. 

Chimney still didn’t know what his mother said that made his father listen but sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d had a point. It wasn’t until he had been sixteen and grieving and so fucking angry with the world that Mrs. Lee had helped him find an outlet, taking him to get his dragon and letting his magic find a focal point of solace pushed into ink in his skin. 

Chimney could feel the scales of his dragon swooping down from his shoulder into his hand as he burned his magic into the ground, ripping the earth apart into a crater between the wolf and Bobby. 

Violet eyes narrowed into murderous slits as the wolf shifted his attention from Bobby to Chimney. 

The sound of the lever-action snapping with Hen’s fast hands clicked in Chimney’s ear as she took aim with her rifle behind her. 

“Try it,” she said, sounding the most furious out of all of them. Even after all her groaning and moral objections when Athena had insisted she needed something that would even the playing field if she ever needed it, Hen’s aim was unwavering. “They might not put you down but my silver will if you make me.”

Chimney’s dragon puffed and twisted around his forearm at the confidence in her voice. Even beneath the pounding of his heart and the black creeping into his eyes, he still found strength in the pack pack pack. In Hen and her strength. 

The wolf bent his head low as he showed her his teeth and Chimney’s hold on the currents of magic wavered as the swelling adrenaline to protect seized up in his chest. The ground shook again, a tremor of his loss of control, before Chimney reined it back in. His dragon dug its talons into his veins and held him back. 

Violet eyes flicked from them to Bobby and then to Buck and Buck whined something high and horrible in the back of his throat. 

Chimney dug his nails into the dirt and braced for another attack. 

But it didn’t come. Violet flashed over the red before the wolf cut his gaze back to Bobby with one last violent snarl. Then the wolf turned and ran away before either of them could chase him. 

None of them moved. Chimney couldn’t. He’d buried his magic into the earth and planted roots and he was going to need a minute to reel it back in. His dragon was writhing and twisting up and down his arm like an overzealous cat demanding his attention. More like his indulgence because it would be so easy to let it all go and see what chaos it would wreck if left unattended. 

But Chimney never liked that kind of chaos; the one that caused nothing but destruction. 

Hen’s hand was warm on the nape of his neck as she stepped up behind him. 

“You good?” She asked and the tingling beneath Chimney’s skin settled at her touch. Sometimes, he didn’t know how he got so lucky to have his tether in his best friend but he was thankful for her every day. 

“Yeah,” Chimney said, his throat dry as sand. He blinked the grittiness away and the black bleeding in his vision seeped away as he came back to himself. His dragon crawled back up to his shoulder to sleep, leaving a warmth that seeped into his spine. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Cap?” Hen asked but Bobby wasn’t moving. He hadn’t moved since he’d taken his place in front of them with his spine straight and his eyes seeing far more than either Chimney or Hen could. 

A sharp whine cut through the air and whatever lingering trace of their hesitation disappeared as they watched Eddie try to stand only to crumble as if his legs had been cut out from under him. 

“He’s bleeding!” Chimney said, jumping up as he remembered the taste of the blood saturating the ground in his magic. 

It would’ve been humorous how human wolf Eddie looked as he lifted his head and tried to shake the dizziness out of his vision. But even in the darkness, they could see the slick blood in the dark patches of brown in his fur. The white of his belly and legs were stained red and Chimney could almost feel the hurt rippling through Eddie’s body.

Chimney jumped up as Hen ran back to the ATV for her medkit. The whine of pain got trapped in a huff in Eddie’s snout and Chimney knew that if he’d been shifted he would’ve grumbled something annoyed and ridiculous about how he was fine as if none of them had you know, eyes. 

“Yeah yeah tough guy,” Chimney said, settling a hand on Eddie’s side as he tried to see the damage. “Let us take a look.”

Hen came back with her kit and the beam on her headlamp turned on bright so she could get a better look. Chimney’s stomach did a series of unpleasant somersaults as he got a look at the deep gauges along Eddie’s back, too close to his neck for Chimney’s comfort. The wounds would heal but the skin was torn and shredded deep into his muscles as if Eddie had been picked up and thrown around. 

And given the size of that wolf, Chimney didn’t think that was too far off an assumption. 

Despite the tough wolf act, Eddie still yelped as he flinched hard when Hen’s gloved fingers pressed onto the claw marks. 

“Chim,” Hen said, her voice low but urgent. “I’ve got this.”

Chimney didn’t know what she meant at first. But then Hen jerked her chin up and Chimney followed the direction until his eyes landed on Buck. 

Chimney’s heart sank into the pit of his stomach and stayed there are he stared at his friend. 

At some point Buck had shifted back into his human form, pale naked skin exposed to the chill of the night. His collarbone was clearly broken by the way Buck was guarding his arm against his chest and bruises were starting to bloom like deep purple fields of violets across his shoulder. Tiny cuts that were already healing littered his torso and face. They’d be almost nonexistent by the time they got back to the firehouse but it wasn’t the injuries that were causing concern. It was the throb in Chimney’s soul. The place where the pack bonds stretched out like tree limbs to each of them and connected them to one rooted place. 

Buck was staring where the wolf had gone with a haunted look in his eyes, filled with terror and denial and downright devastation. Chimney may not have the full broadcast of the weird moon magic psychic bond like the wolves did but he was a witch and he was pack and Buck’s bond was trembling. 

His chest rose and fell in short little hyperventilating bursts and Chimney heard it. 

No.                

No.

                   Not him.

                                      Not him.

Can’t be him.

                     Can’t be him.

No no no. 

Bobby’s feet barely made a sound as he padded past Chimney and shoved himself into Buck’s space. Buck jerked as Bobby’s grey fur brushed against him and Bobby stilled as Buck’s faraway look snapped onto him. 

Chimney held his breath as Buck’s bond pulsed like a plucked chord in his chest and even Hen stiffened when she felt it too. 

Chimney had never seen Buck so scared. 

Then Buck’s chin trembled and he shook his head.

“B-Bobby… I didn’t—” Whatever else Buck had been meaning to say was lost in a choke somewhere in the back of his throat and Bobby pushed his head against Buck’s forehead, rumbling out a noise. 

Packpackpack.

You are pack.

Safe.

Safe pup.

I’m here.

Pack is here. 

The certainty of Bobby’s assertive steadiness spread through all of them. Something tight that had been wrapped around his chest eased away. Eddie sighed through his nose as he relaxed beneath Hen’s ministrations. But Buck sucked in a shaky inhale that seemed to shudder through his whole body as he buried his face into Bobby’s fur like he was trying to hide from the world. 

Chimney thought that Bobby would’ve let him if he could. Even back when Buck had been a probie and driving them all up a wall, Bobby had still let the kid hang off him with begrudging tolerance that Chimney knew was all an act. Or, at least, mostly an act. Bobby had been different back then too. 

But they couldn’t. He wanted to check Buck’s collarbone before it set wrong and then he needed to reinforce his wards around the station. He didn’t know what had happened to provoke the wolf into attacking so close to the pack’s territory but he wasn’t about to wait around for him to come back. 

Chim… 

The tickle of his alpha’s summons at the nape of his neck had him moving forward and he knelt down beside Buck carefully. He still didn’t forget the last time he’d approached Buck when he was spaced out and far away somewhere in his head. The growl that had slipped out of Buck’s lips had been one of being startled and now Buck was acting like he’d seen a ghost. 

Buck jumped at the sound of Chimney’s knees crunching into the ground but Chimney kept his movements steady. Steadiness seemed to be the only thing keeping them all upright.

“I wish I wasn’t used to seeing you naked, Buckaroo.” Chimney joked. Any other instance and Buck would’ve pranced around like a peacock just to make him even more uncomfortable. Maybe even thrown a quip back about checking him out. But Buck didn’t then. He froze like he only just realized the others were around and Chimney could’ve kicked himself. He didn’t apologize. That would’ve made it worse and whatever was going on with Buck, Chimney didn’t want to see just how worse it could get. “Can I see that shoulder?”

Buck guarded his arm closer to himself, clutching his wrist and drawing his knees up to his chest as if to make himself smaller. “I’ll heal.”

“As you dumb werewolves like to tell me.” That earned a twitch of Buck’s lips and Chimney would count it as a win. “Let me just see what the damage is.”

Bobby moved out of the way for Chimney to work.

Despite his steadiness, it wasn’t lost on any of them that Bobby hadn’t changed. His ears were alert with his head on a constant swivel and for the first time in a long time, Chimney knew they weren’t safe. They were exposed and beyond his wards with two of them hurt and the night sky tricking them with shadows. 

“Hen?” Chimney called over his shoulder, guiding Buck’s hand in a position that made his face grimace. The bone would mend completely by morning but Buck was going to be in for a world of hurt on the bumpy ride back. “We need to get to the wards. How’s Eddie?”

Buck stiffened at Eddie’s name and his nostrils flared as he craned his neck to see around Chimney. “Eddie? He was—”

“He’ll be okay,” Hen said, running her hand through the fur on Eddie’s side. “Can you carry him?”

“Hear that?” Chimney prodded because Buck’s expression was still freaked out and his eyes were still holding that slightly far away glaze he didn’t like one bit. “He’s going to be fine, Buck. Now let’s get you both some clothes before Athena arrests you for public indency.”

“There’s no one around,” Buck mumbled as he let Chimney help him stand. 

“I’m here! I’m around! Hen avert your gaze!” 

Hen rolled her eyes but switched places with him so he could scoop up Eddie in his arms. Bobby pressed close against them, pacing along their flank and watching the trees for any sign of an attack. Chimney didn’t know if it was the adrenaline or the weird 180 turn their whole night had taken but he was getting the creeps. He knew he’d feel a hell of a lot better when his pack was back within his wards. 

“You okay?” He heard Hen murmur to Buck. 

They all winced when they heard the broken, quiet lie when Buck said, “I’m fine.”

Chapter Text

I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. 

Buck stared at his own reflection as he mouthed that over and over and over again. Maybe if he said it enough times, his heart would get the picture and stop trying to crash through his ribcage to escape. 

He was fine. 

He was gone. 

He was safe.

He was fine. 

He was fine.  

Thump thump thump. 

Buck forced himself to blow out a breath, low and steady from the pit in his gut that he hadn’t been able to bury yet. 

Even over the thundering of his heart and the rapid, writhing panic that had his wolf scratch to be free again, Buck heard the skid of brakes of a car stopping too fast. The earth didn’t tremble as it passed over Chimney’s wards so that meant it had to be—

“What happened?” He heard Athena demand as she raced up the stairs to the loft where Hen was still working on Eddie. 

The memory of the scent of Eddie’s blood crashed into Buck’s chest and buried into the very marrow of his bones. He would be fine. Buck knew Eddie would be fine. His own broken collarbone was already mending itself back together. 

So why couldn’t he stop fucking shaking? 

Buck clamped his teeth into his lip until he tasted copper on his tongue and shuddered back at smothering the whine that had built up in the back of his throat. 

No. He wasn’t back there. He wasn't alone. He was safe. He was safe and he would be okay. 

Bobby probably scared him off. The whole pack. Even if he did recognize Buck’s scent, he wouldn’t have stuck around for him. He would’ve seen that Buck wasn’t alone like he had been. Buck had pack and people who wouldn’t let him make the same mistakes. 

He was fine. He was fine. 

Buck grimaced as he tested his range of motion on his arm. The bone had already mended but the damage to his muscle and tendons would be an annoying ache for the rest of the night. The hot shower had helped. He’d all but ran for the bathroom before the ATV was even stopped and had tried to scrub the scent off him. The same scent that had permeated his nightmares for almost a year afterwards. When he’d white knuckled the steering wheel and had put Montana in his rearview mirror, he hadn’t even stopped to pick up his last paycheck from the construction site foreman. He’d just ran and ran and ran as fast as the Jeep would take him and even then he woke up choking on that scent. 

But it hadn’t just been the scent. The stickiness between his legs had burned humiliation in his veins. He’d been unraveling faster than he could catch himself and he’d froze up. Maybe if he’d paid attention, Eddie wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Maybe—

The soft knock made him jump before he sensed that bond tugging in his head. The one that said A lphasafehere

pup

    safe

         pack pack pack. 

“Buck?” Bobby asked through the door, his voice low. “You okay in there?”

Buck could’ve laughed just then and it would’ve been an ugly, humorless thing that tasted like vinegar swilled between his cheeks. 

No. No, he wasn’t okay. He was far from okay. But he had to keep telling himself that he was fine or he was going to combust. 

Buck had to get control of himself before his friends saw just how much of a mess he was. 

“Yeah,” Buck said, his voice not even trembling and he prayed that would be enough. “Just finishing up.”

Bobby didn’t say anything for a moment but he didn’t have to. Buck could feel the worry rippling through the door like soundwaves that nearly knocked Buck off his feet. 

“Buck,” Bobby said eventually and Buck’s stomach sank. “You’re safe. We’re behind the wards. He’s not getting in.”

Run!

      Hide!

            Hide!

I t’s him!

Not safe!

Not safe!

                                                                                                         Run run run! 

Buck was trying everything not to give in the feeling of his wolf being backed into a corner. 

“I-I know,” Buck said. He wasn’t as successful that time in keeping his voice steady. “I’m fine.”

A lie. One that even Buck didn’t believe. 

He squeezed his eyes shut until he saw stars. He needed to get a grip. He wasn’t that scared, pathetic lost kid anymore. 

He had made sure of that. 

“That was the same wolf,” Bobby said even though it was meant to be a question. “The one that you scented at the scene. The one that scares you.” 

“Y-Yeah.” Buck didn’t even try to hide the tremble that time. Shame heated his face again as he breathed out that admission, almost too quiet for even Bobby to hear. “I… I j-just—”

He just… what? 

Mine. That claim had growled in his skull, rattling around like a trapped bird that sent his wolf cowering as he pissed himself. 

“You’re safe, pup,” Bobby said, something rustling against the door as if he’d pressed his palm against it. 

“I know.” 

Another lie. He didn’t know why he kept doing that. 

But ever since they stepped foot onto that scene, the world had felt like it’s been trapped in a never ending earthquake and Buck was just stuck waiting for the ground to split apart and swallow him under. 

It hadn’t though. Well, not in that way. Technically, Chimney had manipulated a chasm between them but Buck had come face to face with his nightmare and the world hadn’t ended. 

It almost did though. That sharp yelp of pain from Eddie had cut through Buck like a knife that Buck could still feel the sting radiating all the way down to his very core. 

Bobby released a sigh and Buck forced himself to breathe. 

“Athena needs to take our statement,” Bobby said and it wasn’t a command by any means but Buck took it as one anyway. 

Athena was waiting. The team was waiting. 

He thought after learning about Daniel that maybe he wouldn’t have to crack his chest open and splay out all his failures for his team to see ever again but they wanted answers. They deserved answers considering it was Buck’s fault they’d even been out there to begin with. 

If he’d just managed to keep it together, to not react, none of them would’ve been the wiser. Buck wouldn’t have been out by himself spiraling. Eddie wouldn’t have followed after him. No one would’ve gotten hurt. Eddie wouldn’t have been hurt. 

He owed them an explanation. 

Maybe when he was done, he could go back to pretending. 

He made quick work of changing, dragging on a hoodie with a grimace as his arm ached all the way down to his fingertips. Buck checked his reflection again and tried to tame the way his curls were going wild on his head with his fingers. He hadn’t thought to grab his comb when he’d all but ran into the shows. Lacing up his boots was too much for his healing shoulder so he tucked them in and hoped he didn’t face plant climbing the stairs. 

Bobby hadn’t waited for him when Buck opened the door and he let out a shaky breath for the last few minutes of space he was going to get. They’d closed the bay doors when they’d driven in, putting the whole station on lockdown as Chimney had raced off to fortify their wards, but Buck could still smell the scent of the mud and grass and the moon. 

It was going to be the full moon soon. They were all supposed to gather at Bobby’s cabin for dinner and then a run. He’d been looking forward to it. 

Now, he doubted they would want him around. 

Not after he brought that… that … to them. Had he’d been watching from the scene? Had he scented Buck the way Buck had scented him and followed him? 

Buck’s heart hammered against his ribs threatening to crack them as his mouth went dry and a tremble set out in his hands. He should run. Get as far away as possible so his pack wouldn’t get hurt again. So that they—

A snarl rumbled up into the rafters before it crashed into a curse muttered under his breath. To anyone else it would’ve sounded dark and dangerous; a clear warning to stay away. To their pack? Well, Eddie did never like “playing patient” as he’d oh so petulantly confessed one night when Chimney had to stitch him up from a piece of shredded steel that would’ve sent anyone else to the hospital for a tetanus shot. 

Buck swallowed down the panic welling at the back of his throat and turned towards the stairs. He couldn’t run. He wouldn’t run. He’d stopped running a long time ago. Running would only make everyone else worry and Buck was fine. 

Plus, Buck didn’t think he could take the heartbreak if his pack didn’t chase after him that time. 

Buck was fine. He was fine. He was safe. The scent of pack was surrounding him and it was calming his wolf down just enough that Buck was able to blow out a long breath and climb the stairs. 

He curled his hands into fists at his sides to hide the tremble in his fingers he couldn’t quite stop. 

The scent of blood and antiseptic was harsh on Buck’s senses the moment he reached the top of the stairs. Buck wrinkled his nose but the hard pounding of his heart against his ribs only seemed to slow down enough for him to take a deep breath when he saw that Eddie was upright. That was good. That was better. Better than when Chimney had to carry him to the ATV as pain radiated from Eddie’s body. 

Eddie had shifted and was wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts Chimney must have gotten from his locker. His long lean muscles were sculpted and tight as he flexed, trying and failing not to flinch as Hen cleaned the long ragged wounds carved down from his shoulder onto his chest. 

But Eddie’s growl was still more wolf than human as he sucked in a sharp breath and flinched away from Hen.

“Would you stop? It’ll be fine!”

“Stop growling at me and sit still before you get an infection,” Hen said without an ounce of fear in her voice even as Eddie’s lip pulled back to show his teeth. Hen pressed another antiseptic wipe along a deep gash and Eddie hissed at the sting.

Bile burned at the back of Buck’s throat as he stared at the dried blood and angry skin trying to knit itself back together. 

Your fault....

Buck shuddered as that voice whispered in the back of his mind. No. Buck swallowed back the whine that wanted to slip out from the back of his throat. No. He was safe. He was fine. He was fine. He was with pack. 

Pack

      pack

           pack

It would’ve been almost funny how every one of them looked up at him at the same time. Their heads all moved on a swivel as five pairs of eyes landed on Buck and Buck would’ve squirmed under the scrutiny if he’d let himself. But he didn’t because he was fine. Even if his palms started to get clammy from how tightly he was holding his fists. Bobby and Eddie could probably already smell the sweat. An apology bubbled on the back of Buck’s tongue, awkward and clumsy, and for something Buck didn’t even know how to begin to explain. Buck stuffed his hands into his hoodie pockets and tore his gaze away. 

Athena was the first one to move. The starch of her uniform had softened to a scent that smelled more like her and that subtle lilac perfume that always seemed to linger on Bobby’s shirt collars. 

“Why don’t you and I find some place more private to talk?” 

“N-no,” Buck said and he dug his nails into his palms until it hurt, hating his stutter that always gave him away. That wasn’t going to convince anyone that he was fine; that they didn’t have to keep looking at him like he was about to bolt. He’d thought about it. But he stayed. He was fine. Buck cleared his throat and shrugged his shoulders back as he shook his head. “They can hear this.”

He couldn’t help but look to Bobby, his alpha, and only just barely resisted the urge to bare his throat again. 

Athena blew out a breath from her nose before she sat back on her heel and waved to the long table. 

Buck was pretty sure he blacked out from the time it took him to walk from where he was standing to a chair he all but collapsed in. He couldn’t remember how he got a cup of steaming hot coffee set in front of him or how he ended up in the chair furthest opposite from Eddie. Eddie’s jaw ticked like he wanted to say something about it but he just shifted in his seat, forcing Hen to move as well, so he could stare back at him. Chimney looked like he wanted to move too but he kept his arms locked around himself and leaned against the back of the couch. It was like they were all trying to create the illusion of space as if they wouldn’t pounce the moment Buck wavered and it warmed something deep in his chest to see their readiness to catch him if he did. 

But he had to show them he wouldn’t. He was fine. He’d freaked out, sure, but he wouldn’t again. It was just he hadn’t been expecting it and his wolf had—

Bobby’s hand was warm and steady on the back of his neck and it felt so much like love pack safe alpha 

Packpackpack. 

Buck let out the long breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and slouched back into the chair as he swallowed. Bobby squeezed once before he backed off and sat on the other side of Buck, giving him space too.

“Let’s start easy,” Athena said, waiting for Buck to nod before she went on. “My suspect? The wolf? The one you smelled at the crime scene. You know who he is?”

“That’s your idea of easy?” Buck let out before he even realized he was speaking. The laugh that fell from his lips was hollow even to his own ears. None of his friends laughed and the silence was almost packed full of scratchy cotton that rubbed against Buck’s skin wrong. Buck dropped his gaze to the table. “Y-Yeah. I mean… not really. But I’ve met him. I think?”

Athena’s brow arched. “You think?”

Buck swallowed hard again and shook his head. He bunched up the fabric from inside his hoodie until the fabric stretched and his shoulder ached. 

“No… I know. I-I don’t know why I said that. I—” Buck cut himself off as he sucked in a breath and held it tight in his chest. 

Thump thump thump

That was his own pulse hammering in his ears but it was the others’ too. He could feel their pulses throbbing in the pack bonds and Buck needed to get a grip! He was fine and he was freaking his friends out and he—

Buck blew out the air through a tight pucker of his lips. “I know that it was him. His name is Cash— er uh… that’s the name he gave me.” 

“Just Cash?” Athena asked, writing it down on her notepad. “No last name?”

Buck bit down on his lip as he shook his head. “I wasn’t um… I wasn’t really in the habit of asking for a lot of details back then?”

Buck couldn’t hide the way his whole face winced at that. Heat bloomed up into his cheeks and brought with it a thin film of sweat on the back of his neck. He was going to have to shower again. His whole body started to itch the longer he sat under their attention. 

“That’s okay,” Athena said and she was using that gentle voice she used whenever she was talking to a spooked—

Buck swallowed again at that word and the bile that burned like battery acid on the back of his throat was harder to ignore then. 

“How do you and Cash know each other?”

Buck would’ve rathered taken a thousand cuts than utter the words out loud. What would they think of him? What would Bobby think of him? He hadn’t seen Cash that night but a part of himself was tied to him. That was how it was supposed to work, right? 

Buck never regretted being a wolf. His wolf felt like a part of his soul that had been awakened after being dormant for so long. But he’d always felt like he was missing something. Something that wolves like Bobby and Eddie had from years and years of history in their blood. Legacies. 

Buck was no one. Buck had no one until he came to the 118. 

“He’s the wolf who turned me.” Buck confessed. 

It wasn’t any secret that Buck was turned as opposed to being born a wolf. Bobby had been able to smell it on him the moment he stepped through the bay doors of the firehouse his first shift. If that hadn’t been a dead give away then the fact that Maddie was so painfully, blessedly human would’ve been. 

But the others still acted like it was something new all the same. Each of their pack bonds thwung like an over plucked guitar string and rattled all the way through into his skull. The thump thump thump that beat like a steady rhythm in Buck’s own chest picked in speed to a trembling staccato that only seemed to make his blood skitter under his skin. 

No one said anything and Buck couldn’t look up from the table to read their expressions. Bobby was painfully still beside him. Chimney’s magic felt like sharp snapping bands in the air. Eddie’s scent was too masked by the blood and antiseptic to decipher. 

Hen was the first to speak and her words fell out with a disgusted noise in the back of her throat that made Buck wince. 

“That— That— Monster!” Buck couldn’t tell if that was meant to be a question or not. “The one that did that to that poor girl? The one that almost ripped you two to shreds? That’s who turned you?”

“I thought you told Maddie you didn’t know who turned you,” Chimney said then and Buck knew without even having to look that the others had taken that like a blow too. 

Buck didn’t talk about his turning. Just like he didn’t talk about his parents or the lonely nights when he’d been traveling the country where he’d slept in his Jeep because he couldn’t afford gas, food, and a motel for the night. It had just become one of those things that remained unspoken for so long, he’d hoped he would forget about it. 

But Maddie had had a lot of questions when she came to LA and Buck’s ears were still ringing from finally hearing another voice in that too quiet townhouse to be able to dodge completely. 

Apparently, she hadn’t realized that that was one of those unspoken things with Chimney as well. 

Buck tried not to be too irritated about it since Chimney seemed to understand without Buck spelling it out. 

“I don’t,” Buck said, bunching his shoulders up to his ears and keeping them there even as the ache turned sharp and hot deep in his joint. He gasped out the denial as he looked up at his pack, shaking his head so they knew. “I don’t know him. Not really. I-I–”

“Stop.” Eddie’s voice was low enough to be a rumble. 

Buck snapped his mouth closed with a snap as he stared at him. His expression was dark and thunderous as that deepness of his voice but there was a pointed look in his eyes as he stared back at him. 

              Thump thump thump. 

Pain.

     Stop.

          Warm.

                 So warm.

Pack pack pack. 

Buck swallowed. Eddie rolled his shoulders and Buck understood. 

Buck forced his shoulders to relax and released himself from the pain he’d been holding onto with a vice grip from the tension. 

Chimney muttered something under his breath before he pushed himself up and walked over to the freezer. He came back with one of the many sturdy ice packs they kept stocked and a towel wrapped around it. Buck held still as Chimney palpated his shoulder a few times before he slipped the ice pack beneath his hoodie to hold it in place. 

“Thanks Chim,” Buck said, quiet and a little ashamed even as the ice helped soothe away the ache. 

Chimney tipped his chin before he dropped into a chair beside Bobby. 

Bobby’s face was almost entirely unreadable. 

No, that wasn’t quite true. He was being patient the way he always was with Buck even when he didn’t deserve it. But the pensiveness was making it almost impossible for Buck to perceive anything else going on in his head. Was he angry? Disappointed? Disgusted?

Buck would almost rather know than wonder. 

Buck dropped his gaze back down to the table. 

“I don’t know him,” Buck said again. “Not really. But that scent…”

He stopped before he could confess how he’d spent hours in a truck stop shower trying to scrub his skin raw to get that scent off him. 

“How did you meet?” Athena asked and Buck’s stomach churned at the memory of feeling like he was being watched only to look up and realize that he was. 

Buck shivered as the phantom chill slid down his spine like a dewy bead of sweat on his overheated skin. It was an almost unnoticeable movement, a tiny ripple under his flannel, but those lips quirked up into a coy smirk as if he knew. 

Those green eyes never blinked as they stared back at Buck unabashedly and heat bubbled in Buck’s belly beneath the unwavering attention. 

“There was a bar…” Buck said because there was always a bar. Always a place he could go to find someone to who could point him in his next direction and maybe want to keep him for a little while at least. 

Buck grinned up into the kiss as Cash tried to devour his mouth. His skin was a burning layer of ozone blocking out whatever reservations he’d had as his hands curled around Buck’s waist, yanking Buck across the seat of the truck bed to him like he weighed nothing at all. Buck had a little bulk from the work he’d done in Billings but a few weeks without wrangling cattle and hoisting hay meant he was starting to slim down again. Still, Buck had never been small. Not since puberty where baby fat turned into muscle. But Cash manhandled Buck with such ease that Buck was almost dizzy with need. 

It’d been too long since he’d been touched. The ranchers preferred beer and cards in the club house and the only bar in town had mean drunks and rodeo girls that were gone before the sun rose. 

Buck reached up to card his fingers through Cash’s hair, the long thick brown strands almost wild now that his hat had been knocked off. A hand snatched around his wrist, the grip tight and almost cruel that had Buck gasping. Cash just rumbled something dark and unintelligible as his teeth nipped at Buck’s mouth before he was bending Buck backwards and pinning his hands above him. 

“I was so stupid.” Buck confessed as he cringed with his own second hand embarrassment. Or maybe it was just embarrassment. Humiliation for being so stupid. He knew he could be needy. He’d made peace with that a long time ago and tried to be better. But that didn’t change the full body clench he got whenever he remembered how desperate he could be. 

“No, Buck,” Athena said and Buck knew she was trying to help but he really didn’t need it. 

“You want to come back to my place, little rabbit?”

“Fuck yeah,” Buck said so easily it was almost pathetic. 

Buck had no one to blame for what happened but himself. 

“No.” Buck pulled away from the outstretched hand that was meant to comfort and pressed down on the ice on his shoulders. “No, I… I knew better and I wasn’t thinking and–I just… I was… I was lonely.”

God, why was that the hardest part to admit out loud? He’d been so lonely. 

Maybe that was why Cash had singled him out. 

Buck’s blood was humming as Cash pulled his truck out into a clearing. Clearing was a generous term considering the emptiness that stretched beyond the windshield. Empty, untouched thick forest with miles and miles of trees. Cash cut the engine and the headlights shut off leaving them with nothing but the full moon and bright, twinkling stars to light their way. 

“Whoa,” Buck breathed as he opened the door and stepped out of the truck into the cold night air. His breath plumed into smoke at his exhale but he didn’t mind. Not when he had a view that people would kill for. “You live out here?” 

Sure, they had stars in Pennsylvania but nothing like this. The sky was almost alive with bright shimmering colors of blues and purples. It was enough to make you wonder at your own existence living under a sky like that. There was a whole world out there and Buck couldn’t believe he almost missed it. 

He’d have to find out a way to describe it to Maddie in his next postcard. 

Cash hummed as he clicked the locks on his trucks. “You could say that.”

Buck beamed as he turned to him and—

The hair on the back of Buck’s neck stood tall as Cash stared at him. His ears popped at the silence that surrounded him wrapped around him like a python, holding Buck tight until his lungs almost couldn’t expand in his chest. His heart slammed into his ribs as a ringing filled his ears and Buck was caught in a dash of cold as he realized that his heartbeat was the only one around for miles. 

Well, not the only one. Cash was there too. The dark, mysterious man from the bar was there with him but there was something different in the way he was standing. That charm in his lips had soured into something… other. Something else that was nagging at the back of Buck’s mind. 

“Cash?” Buck didn’t even realize he was taking a step back until his boot caught on a dip in the dirt. 

Cash slid his jacket off his broad shoulders. Whatever anticipation that had been thrumming in Buck’s veins soured into something sharp and toxic. Panic spread like poison into Buck’s fingertips faster than he could blink and Cash only seemed to grow bigger and bigger as he slowly stalked forward. 

“You should start running now, little rabbit.” Was all the warning Buck got before Cash started to shift into something from a nightmare. 

“He brought you out there to hunt,” Eddie said and Buck’s stomach swooped as he nodded. 

Buck yelped as a branch caught on his boot and sent him flying. Dirt and pine needles barely cushioned his fall to the nearly frozen ground and Buck cried out as he went rolling. Skin split and bones rattled as a sharp twinge went up from his ankle to his calf muscle. His hands stung and Buck couldn’t breathe! He couldn’t breathe! Air was sticking like clumps in the back of his throat as he choked and gasped and gagged for oxygen but it wasn’t making it down to his lungs where they were screaming in his chest. 

His face was slick with sweat and tears and maybe blood and the cold was only seeping into his skin like concrete holding him down. 

A dark rumble snarled somewhere too close yet everywhere all at once. It echoed through the trees like there were a million monsters hiding in the shadows waiting to pounce and Buck jolted. Something massive and hot crashed down behind him just as his feet left the ground and Buck cried out as he dodged the swiped paw. 

No! No! This couldn’t be happening! This couldn’t be happening! He was having a nightmare. A nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. Nightmares had plagued him since he was little and would run into Maddie’s room when he managed to break free. He had to break free! He had to break—

Blinding hot pain lanced up Buck’s back and sent him crashing to his knees as he screamed. The hot slick of blood welled down his back and made his shirt infinitely heavier to carry. It dragged him as he rolled down a small ditch still soaked from early snowfall that had melted beneath the sun. The cold shocked through him and Buck choked as he inhaled some of the dirt. It splattered into the back of his throat. Buck wheezed through all the sensations assaulting him, telling him to give up; to give in. 

A snarling growl was all the warning he got before Buck grabbed a fallen tree branch and swung. The battle cry that fell from his lips had nothing on the howl from the wolf but Buck managed to smack the branch against the massive head, catching an eye and several teeth with his swing. 

Buck didn’t wait. He pushed himself up and started running. 

“He went through all of that just to turn you?” Chimney asked, the normal laughter in his voice muted for something serious and uncertain. 

Buck bit down on his lip as he shifted the ice on his shoulder. A cool bead of condensation slipped down his skin and settled into the small of his back that made Buck’s wolf whine in his head. His mouth tasted like ash as he looked up at them again. 

On a good day, Buck knew they were people who cared about him; people he loved. They were pack and even on his bad days he knew that. He could feel those bonds deep in his soul and knew they existed. They weren’t just a figment of his imagination. They were light and alive and thump thump thump. 

But that also meant he knew that what he was about to say would hurt them too. He would know because he would feel it twinging in his heart. 

Buck shook his head.

Buck was breathing too loud. He was breathing too loud! He was breathing too loud and his heart was pounding even louder in his chest but he couldn’t keep running. Everything hurt too much and the lack of oxygen was starting to make the spots in his vision bigger and bigger until he almost couldn’t see. 

He’d lost him somewhere a few miles back when Buck had nearly been swept away by the frigid ice cold water of the river and now Buck couldn’t feel his toes or his fingers. He was shivering though. That was still a good sign. He didn’t know much outside of the few basics of first aid but he knew shivering meant that his body was fighting hypothermia. Running would’ve been better because it would’ve meant pumping his heart full of blood. But running would mean breathing harder and Buck’s head was filled with warnings from his ranch hand friends in Wyoming about people running, lost and confused from being unprepared for the elements, until their lungs literally gave out from the frigid air. Buck had let his own curiosity get the better of him and learned more about pulmonary hemorrhaging than he would’ve liked. 

Now it was all he could think about. Rest and risk freezing to death. Run and risk choking on his own blood. 

It was an impossible choice. 

He needed to calm down. Exhaustion was seeping into his brain like black ink but he couldn’t sleep. Sleep meant death and Buck wasn’t safe. He was hiding but he wasn’t—

Everything went painfully silent. Nothing but a vacuum of silence that warped around into Buck’s trembling frame. 

He shoved a hand over his mouth, grimacing as the torn skin and blood scratched at his chapped lips. Buck was breathing too loud. His heart was beating too loud. The silence was too loud. 

He didn’t move. He was so cold but he knew that burning heat was there. Stalking Buck like prey because that’s all he was. 

All that work, all those miles, searching for who Buck was meant to be and all he was, was reduced down to prey. Quiet, misfortune, terrified prey. 

The growl rumbled all the way down through the ground and Buck’s cheeks heated as his terror trickled down his leg. 

Maybe if he didn’t move… 

Razor sharp teeth clamped down on Buck’s shoulder and pierced the skin with such force, Buck almost didn’t even realize he was airborne until those teeth ripped through him. He screamed as he was flung up like he weighed nothing at all. His body collided with a rock and something in Buck snapped inside of him as he rolled onto his stomach. 

The same teeth from before clamped down on his ankle and tugged. 

Buck didn’t even get a chance to cry for help as his nails dug into the dirt. All he knew was pain and then nothing at all. 

Buck pulled off the ice pack and put it on the table, needing some distance from the memory of being so cold he could hardly think.

“He didn’t take you to turn you,” Athena said, her voice measured and steady even though Buck could see the tremble in her top lip. “He took you to kill you.”

Buck let out a breath that shuddered through him. Again, nobody moved. 

Buck nodded. 

“I think he did,” Buck said quietly, voicing the small tiny nightmare that had lived in his head for years. “For a little bit. But then I… I woke up and I was…”

Static was scratching beneath his skin. Sharp like claws in his skull as that noise prickled in his ears. 

It took him too long to realize that those whines were coming from him. High, needy noises from the back of his throat as consciousness pulled him back. Buck peeled open his eyes and stared at the grey morning sky above him. Frigid raindrops fell onto the skin, soaking into the earth, and Buck could smell every impact of the rain. The rain and… blood. 

So much blood. 

His blood. Blood and a burning, rancid scent that was assaulting his nostrils and flaring at all his senses. He was naked and covered in dirt and blood and that scent and Buck lost all ability to breathe as his mind was assaulted with overstimulated sensations. 

Rage! Tobacco and pepper and so much rage! So much rage! It was covering him, claiming him, smothering him, leaving Buck left to cower on the ground. 

Another one of those whines fell from Buck’s lips as he rolled into the dirt and tried to smell anything that wasn’t the hot, curdling rage. 

Everything hurt and yet… didn’t at the same time. He ached. That bone deep kind of ache from a healing that was mending pieces of yourself back together. It throbbed in time with his heartbeat. 

Thump thump thump—

Tiny clawed feet scrambling against tree bark. 

A squirrel. There was a squirrel. Buck needed to—

He didn’t even realize he was moving until the tight ache from before seized his whole body and forced him back down in a heap. Buck’s brain clawed as his senses went into overdrive again. Everything was so loud! So loud and that scent was all over him! 

Thump thump thump! Not safe! Not safe! Alone. So alone. Loud. Everything loud. Loud birds. Loud wind. Loud loud loud. Loud rage. So much rage. Burning hot rage. 

Not safe. Not safe. Not safe. 

“That was in Montana,” Buck said with a shake of his head. “I— uh… I never saw him after that. At least not until…”

Buck couldn’t say it. If he did, then whatever resolve he had would crumble faster than sand through his fingers and he was fine! He’d let himself get caught up in the nightmare but he wouldn’t do that again. 

“Until now,” Athena finished for him and Buck nodded instead. 

For the third time no one in the pack said anything. Eddie was staring intently at him. Chimney was stroking his arm where his dragon nested on his bicep. Hen looked torn between disgust and horror and Bobby…

Every inch of Buck wanted to lean over and beg for some kind of acknowledgement from his alpha. His alpha. Bobby. Not Cash. He had no loyalty to Cash. No sense of connection even if the phantom strand of a bond was there in Buck’s mind. One that recognized a wolf who’s scent had once covered every inch of him. 

But he didn’t. That would be needy and Buck had taken enough for the night. 

“And you don’t have any idea why he would’ve sought out the victim from tonight?” Athena asked. 

“N-no.” Buck shook his head. “I’ve never seen her before and I-I didn’t even know Cash was in LA until tonight.”

“It could’ve been for the same reason he targeted Buck,” Chimney said, still kneading his fingers into his bicep. “Mindless kill. Help starve off the feral madness of being an omega.”

“I thought omega wolves couldn’t control that stuff,” Hen said and Chimney shrugged. 

“Most can’t but it’s not impossible. Look at…” He trailed off and Buck grimaced before he could help himself. Chimney’s gum popped as he gave Buck a soft look. “Sorry Buckaroo.”

Buck got it. His wolf had been a frenzied beast when he’d met them. Curious and insatiable that he’d had to put up with the puppy jokes for almost his entire probationary year. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t felt the edge. The sharp drop off where curiosity fell into madness and his wolf would’ve been mangled and wrong. 

“How did you manage to survive that long?” Hen asked with a weird sense of wonder. She looked to Bobby and Eddie for confirmation before she turned back to Buck. “I mean don’t wolves have to teach their young how to shift?”

Buck pointedly did not elaborate on the time he shifted during his first full moon and couldn’t figure out how to change back for almost two days. 

“And your senses? How did you not go insane?”

That was easy. 

“Maddie.” 

Chimney’s eyebrows drifted up as he put the timeline together. Maddie had stopped responding to him by then but Buck never stopped sending postcards. He never gave up on her. 

“You had your tether.” Bobby supplied and Buck nodded. Omegas were wolves who had no tethers, no packs, nothing to hold onto to keep their humanity. 

But Buck had Maddie. He’d always had Maddie. 

Thinking of Maddie had gotten him out of those woods. Thinking of Maddie had gotten him through the worst of the loneliness and overstimulation and weird wolf adjustments. 

Wolves, witches, even humans if they didn’t know it had tethers. It was the person who they’d look for in a crowded room. The person that kept them grounded. Sometimes, it was a mate. Sometimes, not. Maddie’s silence had hurt but Buck never questioned her love for him. 

Bobby had Chim. Hen had Karen. Eddie had Christopher. Chimney had Kevin and then Hen. They had each other. But Buck always had Maddie. 

Athena blew out a long breath as she took down some notes before she leveled Buck with a serious stare. One that was professional and all business and Buck latched onto the lifeline with his claws. 

“Ok Buck,” Athena said and Buck sat up a little straighter. “Here’s how this is going to go down. I’m going to need you to provide as much of a physical description as you can. Detectives might want you to sit down with a sketch artist too.”

Buck nodded once. “I can do that.”

He could, even if the thought of trying to conjure the face he tried so hard to forget sent a cold sweat across his skin. 

“Now, I need to ask this,” Athena added and Buck felt unease coil at the base of his spine. “Do you think you’re in any danger?” 

Buck shook his head and Eddie let out a frustrated noise he tried to gnash with his teeth. “Buck!” 

“No,” Buck insisted. “I don’t… I know how it looks. But I don’t mean anything to him. I was just some kid he picked up at a bar.” 

“Someone he thought was dead.” Hen pointed out and Buck squeezed his eyes shut hard enough to see stars. 

Scent.

I know that scent.                          

Dead.

You.

Little rabbit. 

“But I’m not.” Buck argued. “I’m here and I’m stronger than I was back then.”

The tiny voice in the back of Buck’s head whispered how none of that mattered when it counted. How Eddie had almost been killed because Buck had been too frozen with fear. 

“I just… I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t think I would smell his scent ever again.” Buck croaked. He swallowed again and looked to Athena. “I don’t mean anything to him.” 

“Excuse me.” The sound of Bobby’s chair scraping on the floor made Buck’s heart skip a beat in his chest. 

Thump thump thump…

Athena reached out to give Buck’s arm a quick squeeze. “It’ll be alright. We’ll get this figured out.” 

Buck nodded once and bit down to chew on his lip before he dropped any more Buckley truths on his pack. 

“Wait here,” Athena said as she stood, turning to follow after Bobby and leaving Buck with the others. 

“Do you think he’s mad?” Buck finally asked because not being able to read his alpha’s mood was making him want to howl. 

“Mad? Yes,” Hen said with a sigh as she stood up too. “At you? No.”

They were all swimming in an awkward silence that didn’t feel right at all. Not for them. Not for their pack when they lived so out of each other’s pockets most days. 

Instinct made all the hairs on the back of Buck’s neck stand tall but for a better reason that time. Buck was keenly aware of Eddie’s eyes on him, tracking his every shudder like he was trying to sear it into his memory and never let it go. 

Buck didn’t mind being prey when it was Eddie. But if he met his gaze, Buck knew he would break, and he couldn’t. Not when he was finally starting to feel like his feet were steady on the ground. 

Chapter Text

Bobby sensed her before she even stepped out onto the roof. For such a fierce woman, Athena’s scent was wonderfully sweet. Like lilacs and syrup and coconut and home. 

His heart gave a resounding pound in his chest the longer he ignored his mate but Bobby couldn’t go back yet. Not when his wolf was snarling and howling in his head begging to be let out so he could go hunt for the wolf that dared to attack his pack; to attack his—

“Bobby,” Athena said, her voice breaking through the animal side of him that was running rampant in his heart. “We searched the area and you checked yourself. He’s gone.”

“I could find him.” Bobby bit out. He could. Bobby’s father had made sure he and his brother were the strongest trackers in the territory. For a practical, survival standpoint but also as an added safety on the job. His dad made sure Bobby knew how to identify what kind of smoke was what and where it was coming from by the age of ten. By seven, when he could shift, he could hunt and track prey even if the ground was frozen and the lake sent enough wind to make him shake even beneath his fur. 

Bobby could find Cash. 

“I know you could,” Athena said as she settled beside him, her warm hand curling around his tight fist at his side. 

It was a warm enough touch to thaw what little bit of ice had formed over his heart. Bobby let out a long breath he’d been holding tight in his chest for he didn’t know how long. If he put some power behind it, he could’ve howled; released all the pressure that had been mounting in his skull since he found two of his pack terrified and bleeding just outside their territory. But he didn’t. 

“He could’ve died, Athena,” Bobby said and just uttering the words out loud didn’t seem real. Even if he’d said them more times than he cared to admit when it came to Buck, saying them then seemed too real. “There’s… There’s a reason we don’t turn people outside of pack. They can shift and get stuck as a wolf or draw too much attention to themselves and get caught by hunters or—or they can starve to death because they don’t know how to hunt! That’s if they don’t go feral and turn omega! Or they can—”

“Bobby,” Athena said, gentle and everything he needed to be able to feel settled in his own skin usually. “Bobby, he’s alright.”

But it wasn’t about that. Not really. He knew Buck was okay. He was safe and he’d stay that way while he was under Bobby’s watchful eye. 

But he almost wasn’t. 

“He left him, Athena.” Bobby’s wolf snarled deep inside him at the thought of Buck lost and alone. “He left him there and a tether isn’t always enough! I can’t explain how he survived! He—”

“He survived because he’s Buck,” Athena said, pushing into his space even as Bobby was practically shaking at the seams. She never shied away from the beast inside of him and he didn’t think she would start now. But still he couldn’t hold her. Not when he wasn’t sure how much control he had over himself. Not when his teeth felt too big for his mouth and his nails too sharp in his fist. 

Bobby shook his head. “You can’t smell it, honey. You can’t smell his fear. He thinks he’s hiding it but he—”

“I don’t need to be a wolf to know this Cash person scares Buck,” Athena said. “But he’s not alone. Not anymore. Not when he has us.” 

And the certainty of her words thrummed beneath Bobby’s skin and settled deep into heart. 

 Pack. Pack. Pack. 

“He’s going to be alright, Bobby,” Athena said, reaching up to cup his cheek. “He just needs a little help to remember that he’s not alone anymore. Give him some time. You’ll see.”

She was right. She was always right. 

It was just that Buck’s pain was always the sharpest of the pack. Bobby knew each of his pack’s pain like his own and it was a burden he would carry for each of them as their alpha. Hen’s was the quickest, pulsing like a paper cut as it healed. Chimney’s throbbed the deepest, sinking a pit into your stomach. Eddie’s settled deep into the very marrow of your bones, aching whenever the day was just right to trigger it. But Buck’s was sharp. Sharp and cutting, dashing across your chest until you couldn’t breathe. Like you were cut down at the knees until you felt three feet tall and too small for the world. 

Bobby would bear it for his pack. But he hated it all the same. 

He also knew his pack would hate it if they knew how much it affected him. 

So, Athena was right. Bobby needed to pull himself together. 

That didn’t mean he couldn’t take a moment to be held by his mate, his wife, while he did it. 

Athena clicked her tongue at the roof of her mouth and curled into his chest as if reading his mind. Bobby sighed as her arms wrapped around him and held him as tight as he needed. 

Sometimes, Chimney wanted to shake Buck by the ears and demand to know in what world he was dreaming in. Frankly, he was surprised Buck was alone at all. But Bobby and Athena were still off somewhere. Eddie had finally won the battle against Hen that he was healed enough to go shower. Hen was restocking their kits with her phone pressed to her ear, probably talking to Karen to work off some of the last of the adrenaline. Chimney had gone down to his locker to do the same and also fill Maddie in on everything when Buck followed after him with his big ol’ puppy eyes etched with guilt. 

“What?” Chimney didn’t think he’d heard him right. 

“You can’t tell, Maddie,” Buck said again and his voice was hoarse with an almost desperation that made Chimney’s magic tingle. 

He knew Buck had been putting on a brave face telling them about his turning but that expression was cracking. 

“Buck,” Chimney said. 

“She doesn’t need to know!” Buck insisted. 

Chimney shook his head and tried to rattle whatever was clogging his ears free because he seriously couldn’t be hearing Buck right. “Even if that were true, she’d still want to know!”

“Know what? That I was stupid enough to wander off alone with a stranger?” Chimney bit down hard on his cheek to keep from saying anything. Buck wouldn’t hear it even if deep down he knew Chimney was right. Nothing deafened the Buckleys to reason more than their unwavering need to protect one another. “She had cut me off by then, Chim. All it’s going to do is make her feel guilty about something that had nothing to do with her!”

And it would. Chimney’s heart clenched tight in his chest at the way he could almost practically hear the hitch in Maddie’s breath when she found out. A queasy sickness was still churning in his own stomach from Buck’s story and it was Buck’s story. Buck’s story he probably would’ve gone to his grave not telling anyone in the pack if he could’ve helped it. 

“Look…” Buck’s lower lip trembled as he sucked in a breath and stared at him. “She knows I got turned. She doesn’t need to know that I was supposed to die instead.”

Chimney cursed under his breath as he propped his hands on his hips and tried to find it in himself to disagree. Buck was right. Maddie would be devastated. All things considered, she’d taken the whole wolves and magic thing pretty well. But she still harbored a lot of guilt for not being there for Buck when it happened. Even if there had been nothing she could’ve done. 

Well, that’s not true. It turned out that she’d been the only one to save Buck back then. She was his tether. The thing that brought them all home. The thing that was almost more powerful than a mate. 

Chimney swallowed as he glanced at Hen. 

He didn’t change like a wolf but he heard the call of the moon just like every other member of the pack. He knew what it was like to be alone and scared, surrounded by crackling magic. 

His dragon clawed into his skin as it flew to his shoulder and blew hot fire in his veins, warning his heart. It was enough to ease the guilt that had settled there. It didn’t erase it. But it was enough. 

Chimney looked back at Buck and popped his gum. “You need to tell your sister at some point. She’s pack and I don’t like keeping things from her!” Chimney held up a hand when Buck started to argue. “ But… It's your story, Buckaroo. I’ll let you decide when you’re ready to have that conversation.”

It was the first time Chimney had seen any sense of relief across Buck’s face all night. He could practically feel the way it flushed through his system and smothered out the embers of panic. 

He caught Buck’s eyes. 

“She’d want to know, Buck. You’re going to have to tell her eventually and I’d think you would want that to come from you rather than somewhere else.” 

Buck swallowed and Chimney hated that he dimmed a bit but Buck needed to hear it. He knew Buck would’ve rather gone on with life with none of them knowing about the night he was turned. There was probably some misplaced sense of shame spiraling in the big dumb head of Buck’s. 

But they were pack and that meant something. 

Buck’s lower lip trembled before he tightened his mouth and Chimney hated how similar the Buckley siblings looked in their sorrow. Buck nodded once. 

“I will. Just… not right now. Not tonight.” 

Chimney dipped his chin. “I’ve got wards all around the apartment so if the big bad wolf goes looking for you with your scent, he’s not getting even within a block near her.” 

Buck’s face went dangerously pale. So much so that Chimney almost braced to catch him in case he fainted. 

“Oh God! I didn’t even think about that. I-I didn’t…. He’s not… I have to—”

Buck was already turned around like he was ready to bolt, his fingers flexing mid shift. 

“Whoa!” Chimney grabbed him by the elbow and pulled Buck back. “Whoa! Hold on! She’s safe, Buck!” 

Buck’s eyes were still wild as he stared at him and Chimney squeezed tight to get him to focus. 

“She’s okay, Buck. I’d be the first one to know.” 

Chimney may not feel his mate the way the wolves did and by all technicalities, he and Maddie hadn’t quite made that step yet. But he would know if Maddie wasn’t okay. Not just from the alarm bells of his wards but by the string that was wrapped around his heart and pulled every time he thought of her. 

“You would too,” Chimney said, tapping on Buck’s chest where his own heart had to have been hammering away beneath his breast bone. 

Maddie was Buck’s tether. Chimney hadn’t exactly been conscious when Doug had taken her but he’d heard the stories of the way Buck had collapsed to his knees in the snow. Athena had figured it was around the time Doug’s knife had plunged into her stomach. 

Buck rubbed hard into his chest as he nodded and Chimney could’ve kicked himself for toppling the carefully constructed calm Buck had managed to convince himself was normal. 

“I’m-I’m sorry. I—”

“Hey,” Chimney said and he pushed what little peace he could through his bond to soothe Buck. “It’s your sister and seeing that wolf again rattled you. It’s more than a little expected to be kind of frazzled right now.” 

Buck blinked hard as he shook his head. “I’m fine.” 

Anything else would’ve been belaboring the point by then so Chimney didn’t call him out for the obvious lie. 

He didn’t get a chance to either. Eddie strode out of the bathroom with an intensity in his gaze and his pants half slung across his hips like he’d only just barely had had a fleeting thought to spare them all the full view of everything thank God! Chimney really wished he wasn’t so used to seeing his pack naked. 

Chimney wasn’t quite sure since he was so rudely brushed past but he was almost certain there were still soap suds in his hair. 

“What’s wrong?” Eddie demanded, curling a hand over Buck’s shoulder and only just managing to get a hold of himself to keep from sliding up to Buck’s neck. Just barely judging by the way Buck practically shivered when Eddie’s finger tips skimmed his throat. 

It would be hilarious if they weren’t so unbearably oblivious. 

“N-Nothing. I was being stupid.” 

A growl rumbled in the back of Eddie’s throat and Chimney rolled his eyes as he grabbed his phone. “I’m going to call Maddie.”

Buck jolted. “Chim—”

“I’m not going to tell her.” Chimney held up his hands in surrender. “But remember what I said, Buck.” 

Chapter Text

Exhaustion clung to Buck’s shoulders as he walked out the precinct into the afternoon sunlight. The rest of their shift was relatively uneventful with Chimney having to lift his wards after the alarm went off for a three alarm fire. Bobby had made some serious grumbling about keeping Buck as man behind before letting Buck throw on his turnout. Buck knew it wasn’t meant as a punishment but it still sucked, being seen as a liability that needed kid gloves. Not only that but the thought of being alone for hours twisted his stomach into knots until he almost couldn’t breathe. 

Buck meant what he said when he talked to Athena. He didn’t think Cash even remembered he existed. He was probably long gone. 

But that didn’t mean Buck wanted to wait around to find out if he was wrong. Pack meant safety and the memories of waking up so alone were still too close to the surface for him that he didn’t think he could handle taking a nap in the bunks just to find himself alone all over again. 

Besides, he was fine. 

Bobby relented and Buck used the heat of the fire and the weight of his gear to bury those memories all over again. 

Buck had only just managed to shower the scent of smoke and ash off his skin before Athena had picked him up to take to the precinct. 

How a random firefighter was able to give a physical description of their suspect he otherwise wouldn’t know outside of being a werewolf? Well… that was beyond Buck’s paygrade. 

Wolves and all things spooky and supernatural were kind of an unspoken open secret amongst the departments. Athena had covered far worse than Buck being stupid enough to go into the woods with a stranger only to come out a werewolf. She’d seen far worse too. She’d promised she’d handle it. 

Buck caught his scent before he saw him. Spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. 

Thump

     thump

          thump

Buck’s heart flipped in his chest as he spotted Eddie leaning against his Jeep all clean and beautiful and whole. No one looking at him would’ve guessed that only just a few hours earlier his chest had been shredded and bloodied from animalistic claws that aimed to kill. Eddie’s sunglasses were perched on his nose as he sipped his coffee, scanning the sidewalks behind the dark lenses. 

Buck’s wolf scampered in his brain at the sight of his best friend. He’d changed into his civvies and was dressed in a simple grey t-shirt and jeans tight enough to look like they were painted on him. Buck wanted to nip him until Eddie growled at him. But they didn’t do that. 

A shiver rippled down Buck’s spine as his hair stood on end the moment Eddie’s eyes landed on him and Buck felt their bond sing all the way down to his core. 

Pack pack pack. 

Thump thump thump. 

Here.

I’m here.

I’m here. 

“Hey,” Buck said when he got closer. Eddie’s nostrils flared, probably trying to make sure he was still in one piece after being out of his sight for so long. Buck’s wolf preened that he’d noticed but he shoved that away. 

That was what pack did. They looked out for each other. That was all. 

“Wh—” Buck cleared his throat as his own senses started to tingle at the spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies of Eddie’s scent. “What are you doing here?” 

“Figured you could use a friend,” Eddie said simply because it was so easy for him. So easy for him to be a wolf and be pack. He didn’t have to try but he did anyway. For Buck. 

Heat blossomed up the back of his neck. The others… they’d seen too much but not everything. Eddie had been there. Eddie had heard Buck’s whimpers. He’d seen Buck’s cower. He’d smelled the way Buck had pissed himself in his own terror like some brand new pup. 

Buck cringed internally at that. He needed another shower. He’d already taken two since then but a third wouldn’t hurt. 

“I’m fine. Did you bring any for me?” Buck pouted at the coffee delicately held in Eddie’s fingers. 

He didn’t need to see his eyes to know when Eddie rolled them. Eddie extended his arm to Buck and let him take the cup. 

Buck’s heart somersaulted into a series of flips at the easiness again. He cheered as he took the cup and sipped the coffee. It didn’t do anything. Caffeine and alcohol didn’t affect wolves the way they did humans. But Buck had always liked the taste. 

TV and movies weren’t lying. Police precinct coffee was terrible. He still stood by his claim that there was a secret stash somewhere but Athena had yet to crack. 

Buck moaned as the coffee swept away the taste of ash on his tongue.

“You good to drive?” Eddie asked, holding up Buck’s keys. Strong, solid fingers pressed into his collarbone and Buck’s wolf wanted to howl at the way Eddie was touching him. Without restraint or hesitation like Buck was his to touch but oh, so gentle. The pad of his thumb was searing a brand into Buck’s skin until he was almost shivering beneath the heat of it. 

Buck swallowed and stepped out of Eddie’s reach before he did something stupid like present his throat. 

“All good,” Buck said, rolling his shoulders to show him. 

Eddie was just checking the bone. That was all. 

He snatched his keys just as Eddie plucked the coffee back from his hand. Buck grumbled as he walked to the driver side even though a little part of himself was pleased at how easily Eddie slipped into the passenger seat.

“Your place?” Buck asked, turning the engine and adjusting his mirror that Eddie always fiddled with whenever he drove. 

How Eddie could ever see anything with his mirrors tilted so far left was beyond Buck. 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Eddie drawled, an easy smile on his face that made Buck’s heart give another somersault beneath his ribcage. 

Thump

                     thump

  thump. 

Buck didn’t know what was happening. 

It wasn’t like Eddie rushed out every time they hung out. If anything, sometimes when Buck’s head was being particularly cruel, it almost seemed like Eddie would linger until the last possible second. His eyes would soften like he didn’t want to look away until he absolutely had to. 

But Eddie did have a child and a home that kept him on a pretty strict schedule so he really didn’t understand why Eddie was still in his apartment. 

The clock was steadily approaching midnight and Eddie had yet to move from his spot on the couch, his body one solid line of heat beside him that had been slowly driving Buck slightly insane since they sat down. 

“So,” Buck drew out when the exhaustion from before crept back into his shoulders and stayed there. “No Christopher?” 

“Sleep over,” Eddie said, his lips quirking up into a smile as he checked his watch. “Something about a midnight release for some video game. Money says they’re on that final push before they crash in about ten minutes.”

Oh. 

Okay. 

Well that was…

That explained some things but not what Eddie was still doing there. Not that Buck minded. He would bask in every available second he got to spend with Eddie, and still have to fight to urge to ask for more. 

But he was exhausted . He’d barely gotten a few hours of sleep while on shift and heading straight to the police department to meet with the sketch artist had eaten away the timeframe where he usually came home and napped like it was his job. 

He needed to go to bed or he was going to do something really stupid and fall asleep on Eddie’s shoulder. 

“Speaking of crashing…” Buck cringed internally as his wolf snarled in embarrassment. “I think I’m going to uh… head to bed soon so… uh…” 

Eddie didn’t move. He just nodded his head. 

“Sounds good.” 

Buck blinked at him. “Do you…You—You planning on staying?”

It wouldn’t be the first time Eddie had stayed the night on his couch and if Buck had any say on the matter it wouldn’t be the last. But usually it was a planned thing. Eddie bringing the whole six pack to the coffee table and pulling out the game controllers kind of planned thing. They couldn’t get drunk and six beers hardly left an ache in their heads but it was the principle of the ritual. Eddie didn’t get to unwind. Not often. Not all the way. But in Buck’s loft, he could. 

A small, secret part of Buck beamed with pride that Eddie picked his place to relax. 

The rest of him was still very confused. 

Eddie pinned Buck with a look that Buck probably should’ve been somewhat insulted at receiving. A flat, obvious look with his stupid arched brow and his piercing gaze that managed to tear down whatever carefully constructed walls Buck had managed to build up around himself. 

Thump

        thump

              thump. 

Buck’s stomach churned as it all clicked into place. 

“Eddie, I’m fine!” 

“Are you?” Eddie’s voice stayed perfectly even, careful, and revealing way more than Buck wanted anyone to know.

Buck gnashed his teeth together. “Yes!”

Another look and Buck could’ve sworn it stripped him bare and left all those scars and bruises exposed for Eddie to see. Eddie had a way of seeing Buck down to the core and somehow acting like it wasn’t a chore to get there. 

Buck deflated. “You did what you were supposed to do. You got me home. I’m fed. I’m going to bed. You can go home now! I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Maybe not.” Eddie shrugged. “But that doesn’t mean you have to be alone either.” 

Thump thump thump...

Buck could’ve sworn that walls were vibrating with how loud his heart was hammering in his chest. 

If it had been anyone else, Eddie would’ve given in. But it wasn’t anyone else. It was Buck. It was his… It was Buck. And Buck may have convinced everyone, including himself, that he was fine, but not Eddie. Not when his heart still skipped with every stutter in Buck’s words. He knew Buck was putting on a brave face but he didn’t think Buck knew how every time his expression faltered, Eddie’s heart dropped into his stomach and sank. 

And until Cash was locked up or put down, Eddie wasn’t letting Buck out of his sight. 

“Buck,” Eddie said when he could practically see Buck’s stubbornness swell in his expression. “You’re exhausted. Don’t fight me on this. Just try and get some sleep knowing I’ve got your back.”

Buck’s expression shifted and Eddie’s wolf howled in his skull until it was a miracle that the windows didn’t rattle with the song. Sometimes looking at Buck was like looking at a ripple of his reflection. He was there but the layers of masking that covered his face were always held steadfast over the vulnerable, soft parts that Buck had somehow gotten into his head were ugly and inconvenient. 

They weren’t. Not to Eddie. 

Never to Eddie. 

Packpackpack 

I’m here.

Here Buck.

Here. Here. Here. 

Thump thump thump. 

Buck let out a breath and nodded. “Okay.”

It was the steadiest Buck had sounded since they got that call that sent his best friend into a full blown spiral. Eddie wanted to howl again that he was the one who managed to slow him down. 

Buck clapped his hands on his thighs and stood. His shirt clung to his back revealing a sliver of skin of his soft spine and a heat Eddie was all too used to ignoring surged up in his chest and flushed up into his throat. 

“I’ll go get you some blankets.”

Eddie flicked off the TV with the remote and stood too. “No need.”

Buck’s brow furrowed into a knot. “What do you mean?”

“I mean no offense but your couch isn’t exactly the most comfortable for sleeping,” Eddie said before he hooked his fingers into his shirt and pulled it over his head. 

Buck squawked as Eddie tossed the shirt at his head and made a break for it before Buck could argue any further. He bound up the stairs to Buck’s bed and tried not to inhale the scent of peppermint and eucalyptus and summer rain and sunshine. The same scent that filled every room Buck stepped into and lit up Eddie’s senses one by one until all he could focus on was Buck Buck Buck. 

The sound of Buck’s footsteps chasing after him made Eddie’s wolf brain want to prance around like a goddamn pony and play but Eddie didn’t. He grabbed onto his belt with a white knuckle grip and worked at the clasp. 

Buck choked out a grumble that Eddie pretended he didn’t hear for the sake of his own sanity. 

“Here.” Buck laid out a pair of clothes for Eddie to borrow before he disappeared into his bathroom and turned on the fan to cover whatever sounds he could make. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. It seemed like overkill but maybe they were all overdoing it. They were pack, something Eddie didn’t think he’d ever find when he packed up his and Christopher’s things and moved them to LA. Sure, he had Pepa and his abuela but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t pack like what he had with Bobby and Hen and Chimney and the others. They were pack and they would do anything for their own. But it was different for Buck. At least for Eddie. 

All of his instincts were being dominated by the throbbing need to protect with a ferocity that set his teeth on edge if Buck so much as shifted his weight in uncertainty. It churned at his insides and made his wolf paw at the door in his mind, begging to be let out, and taking everything Eddie had not to let him. 

Not yet at least. 

But for now, he could relax. Buck was safe. Eddie would make sure of it even if Buck thought he was being ridiculous. 

He dragged his fingers over the folded up clothes— Buck’s clothes— and let himself indulge in the way his neck ached with the desire to feel the cotton collar scratch over his throat and leave a little piece of Buck behind. 

The pipes thumped as Buck turned on his shower and Eddie swallowed thickly. 

Right. 

He moved the clothes to the side for easy access in the morning and stripped the rest of the way before folding his jeans as well. He loved being a wolf. He’d been one his whole life. But even as a grown wolf he could still hear his mother’s voice ringing in his ear about the costs of denim jeans she would not be paying for if he and his sisters kept shifting in their clothes. 

Shifting was almost as easy as breathing for him. One minute he was upright and the next he was wolf and his senses were flooded with peppermint and eucalyptus. Summer rain sunshine.

Buck

             Buck

Buck. 

Buck was pack. Buck was his. Stupid Buck thinking Eddie would leave him. 

Eddie huffed as he shook out his fur and stretched deep into his spine and his hips. 

Felt good. 

Being wolf was simpler. 

Safer. 

Eddie needed to keep Buck safe. 

Thump

     thump

           thump 

BuckPackBrotherLove

Buck

Buck          

Buck. 

Eddie could smell Buck’s scent all around him. He would’ve been able to find him with his eyes closed even if he hadn’t seen him walk into the bathroom earlier. Buck’s wolf pulled at the pounding organ in his chest that pumped life into him. 

Thumpthumpthump 

Peppermint and eucalyptus and summer rain and sunshine. 

Eddie curled up at the door with a huff and breathed in the humid heat and Buck’s scent from the crack beneath. 

Eddie’d watch. 

Eddie’d protect. 

Protect Buck. 

Buck was pack. Buck was his and Eddie wasn’t about to let some wolf come and take him away. Even if he was gone, Eddie would stay and watch just to be sure. 

Eddie didn’t know how long he stayed there but his ears perked up when he heard Buck’s soft footfalls on the bathroom tile. A wall of heat and peppermint and eucalyptus and Buck Buck Buck washed over Eddie as the door opened. 

Buck let out a huff before stepping over Eddie. 

“You really don’t have to do this,” Buck said, flicking off the lights. 

Eddie ignored him. He stretched up and nudged his head into Buck’s knee until Buck let out a laugh that made Eddie rumble deep in his chest, pleased. 

Eddie liked Buck’s laugh. Buck’s laugh was sweet and bright like his scent. The same scent Eddie wanted to rub all over him and carry around as his own. 

“Okay! Fine! But you are not watching me sleep.” 

Eddie nipped at him and Buck showed his teeth in a playful growl that Eddie ignored as he jumped up onto the mattress and stepped on Buck’s legs until he made room. 

“Wha– Hey!” Buck threw up his hands. “Just make yourself at home then.”

He would. From his vantage point, Eddie had a perfect view of the stairs. He’d be the first line of defense and he would have Buck within reach. 

Eddie would protect Buck. 

Buck was pack. 

Buck was his. 

He wouldn’t let him be alone when Eddie could be there to remind him what all that meant. 

Here.

I ’m here.

Here.

Here Buck. 

Buck sighed as he dropped back against the pillow. “You don’t get to growl at me when I roll over.”

Eddie rumbled out a discontented noise. He wouldn’t have to growl at him if Buck just settled instead of rolling around like he was a pup caught up in a dream of chase. 

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Buck murmured, rolling onto his side before turning out the light. “Goodnight.”

Eddie curled down somewhere next to Buck’s hip and flicked him with his tail as the darkness bathed him in Buck’s scent. Of peppermint and eucalyptus and summer rain and hot cider and sunshine. Of pack pack pack

Buck Buck Buck 

I’m here.

Here.

Here Buck. 

Thump thump thump. 

Chapter Text

Buck went to sleep expecting nightmares. He couldn’t help it. He knew that. He’d had nightmares for months after he was turned. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t hate it and he hated the prospect of Eddie seeing him caught in the grips of one even more. 

So Buck went to sleep and expected nightmares. 

But when he woke up to the soft morning glow filling his apartment, he realized two things. 

One: Buck had a full night of sleep free from nightmares. 

Two: He couldn’t move. 

No, not couldn’t. Not quite. More like he didn’t want to move. He was more comfortable than he’d ever been in his bed and moving felt like it would be an actual crime. 

And it had everything to do with the fact that a massive wolf was draped across him with Buck’s face buried in the softest, warmest fur he’d ever felt in all his life. Fur that smelled like spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. It flooded Buck’s senses so that his head was filled with safepacklovehere. 

Here. I’m here.  

Buck froze, his eyes snapping open as his brain rushed back online. 

Eddie. Eddie was in his bed. Eddie, who had been down by his feet, was now practically wrapped around him so that Buck could curl his hand into his fur and feel the heat of his body pressed against his own. Buck could feel the slow steady thump thump thump of Eddie’s heart beneath his palm and the rise and fall of his chest as he slept. 

This wasn’t new for them. Buck had lost count how many times he’d woken up in one of what Hen dubbed “puppy piles.” Bobby objected to the term puppy considering they were all out of their twenties and someone inevitably grumbled about their backs later. 

But it was new for them; for Eddie and him. The puppy piles were reserved for the nights they’d run themselves wild beneath the full moon and their bodies were too kinetic to fight against the magnetic pull to one another. Puppy piles brought pack pack pack to their very center and settled in them as they laughed and nipped and slept surrounded by one another. 

But this didn’t bring pack to mind. This was something else. Something entirely different. Something that had Buck’s heart start to pound beneath his ribcage and made him want to bury his face even further in Eddie’s fur until he drowned in the scent of spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. 

Buck’s wolf whined as Buck pulled away. 

He couldn’t unpack that. The feeling was too big, too great, to even think about trying. 

Eddie huffed out an unhappy noise but didn’t stir and Buck slipped into the bathroom before he could catch himself lingering. 

Buck went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, grimacing at the wild state of his hair. His curls were in full force but he didn’t have the energy to tame them beyond a few tugs with his fingers. Eddie was still where he left him, curled up in the spot where Buck had been leeching all his heat from him. 

Some guard dog. 

That was the voice in Buck’s head that protected him from whatever it was that wrapped around his heart and spun him in Eddie’s orbit whenever Eddie was near. Every muscle in Buck’s body begged him to crawl back into bed and fall back asleep, burying his face in Eddie’s fur; to let Eddie pin him down with his weight and hold him there for eternity. 

Buck could feel the whine burning at the back of his throat. 

But he didn’t. He couldn’t. 

Buck quietly went down stairs. It didn’t take much to start up the coffee. The coffee was already ground and sitting in a dwindling bag in his fridge. He was going to have to go grocery shopping soon. He had his four days off coming up and not enough food to last him through the full moon. Not that he needed much. Bobby channeled the kinetic pull beneath his skin by cooking up a feast that could’ve rivaled any Thanksgiving table. Athena often took over for breakfast so that Bobby could enjoy the moon to the last second. 

But that wouldn’t account for the rest of his week. So grocery store it was. 

Buck didn’t hear him until he rumbled a noise deep in his chest that sounded very much like a pout if he’d ever heard one. 

Eddie was human again or as much as one could be when they weren’t fully awake. His eyes were still basically closed, only half open through slits that narrowed in on Buck above his deep frown. Buck’s fingers twitched with an urge he almost couldn’t fight down to run them through the mess of brown tufts sticking up on Eddie’s head. He was wearing Buck’s clothes— the shirt only a little loose but settled nicely on his shoulders and the sweats rolled at the wait a few times— and it made something in Buck ache at how right it seemed. 

“Good mor—” Was all Buck got out before Eddie blew past the point of socially acceptable distance and barreled into Buck at a zombie’s pace. 

The weight of Eddie crashing into him made Buck huff as he stumbled, the counter at his back keeping him from losing his footing. Eddie rumbled out another noise, annoyed, and braced his hands on either side of Buck’s hips, bracketing him against the counter before he was shoving his cheek against Buck’s collarbone. Sharp stubble scratched against Buck’s skin and Buck’s whole body lit up like a match to a strike pad. 

Heat erupted up into his bloodstream and consumed him until that whine he’d managed to smother before fell out from his lips in a sliver. Eddie’s hot breath huffed against his skin as he rubbed his cheek up into the hollow of his throat. 

Buck’s pulse quickened, jolting and skipping as Eddie scented up over his pulse point before he was bullying his head under Buck’s jaw and rubbing underneath that too. 

Thump thump thump.

The sounds Eddie was making were more animal than human and Buck knew that it was a pack thing. They’d scented each other plenty of times and Eddie was probably still wolf in his half asleep state. But that didn’t change the fact that Buck’s insides were turning molten as Eddie rubbed his face up beneath his jaw and onto his cheek, spreading his scent all over Buck. 

Buck swallowed past the dryness of his throat and tipped his head back so Eddie had more room to work. To anyone else, it would be ridiculous. To wolves? 

It felt like home. Like packpackpack and I’m here.

Here.

Here Buck. 

Like ma—

Buck jolted as the tip of Eddie’s nose slid up the slope of his throat. The hard line of his chin smacked into Eddie’s face, making a snarl appear on his lips as the pain broke through the trance that had taken over Buck’s complete and utter self-preservation. 

Buck heaved air like he’d ran a marathon as he stared at Eddie and Eddie back at him. The impact had knocked some humanity back into Eddie’s eyes, the deep coffee brown color softening just a fraction as his eyes locked onto Buck’s. 

Buck didn’t look away. 

Neither did Eddie. 

They were caught in a stalemate of something charged and scorching with bolts of kinetic energy between them and one wrong move could threaten to tumble them over the very careful line they didn’t cross. 

Buck dug his teeth into his bottom lip to keep the whimper that threatened to break free. The taste of copper on his tongue slipped into the back of his throat where that whimper was hiding. Buck was painfully aware of every inch of Eddie pressed against him, molded to his body like they were always met to fit together. Every inhale was a symphony to his own. Every thumpthumpthump of his heart was an echo to Buck’s. Eddie’s mouth was right there. Eddie was there. Eddie was so close. Eddie was in his clothes and smelled like him and Buck’s wolf wanted more. So much more until Eddie’s howl was his own and they could—

The loud banging of a fist against his door had them both jumping apart. 

Two more things happened in rapid succession. Buck’s heart skipped up to his throat and stayed there like a knot threatening to choke him as his mind was sent reeling back down into stunning, heart wrecking clarity. 

The other was Eddie spinning in front of him, his hackles raised along his back like he was seconds away from shifting, and a dangerous growl thundering from his lips. 

Another loud knock banged on his door hard enough that Buck was almost surprised it wasn’t rattling in the frame. 

Then Buck sensed it. The sharp static of magic and the twinge in his chest that said pack pack pack. 

“Buck!” Chimney called, banging on the door. “Buck! Open the door!” 

Eddie straightened from his stance and if Buck had time to look closer, he almost could’ve sworn there was a pink tinge in his cheeks. But Chimney was going to wake up his neighbors or bust down his door if he didn’t answer soon. 

Except Eddie was still so close. 

“Um…” Buck tried to say past the way his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. “‘Scuse me.”

“Buck! It’s me!” 

Eddie cleared his throat as he stepped aside and Buck’s knees wavered at the overwhelming urge to buckle back into Eddie’s space. To shove his face into his throat and inhale that scent until he was dizzy. But Buck didn’t. He carefully moved around him or else suffer igniting the inferno blazing beneath his skin that would’ve flashed over into infinity at any sort of contact. 

“I’m coming in!” Chimney called before the sharp twist of magic turned the static in the air.

Buck’s wolf snarled. 

Buck unlocked the door and pulled it open before Chimney blasted his lock. “What Chim?” 

Chimney stared up at Buck with wide eyes and his hand curled into open air in front of him. Buck only just caught the tail of Chimney’s dragon shrinking into his shirt sleeve before disappearing beneath the fabric. 

“You weren’t—” Chimney’s eyes darted to Eddie somewhere behind Buck before he chomped on his gum so it popped between his molars. 

He pushed his way into Buck’s apartment, closing the door behind him before Buck could even stretch his arm.

Chimney’s hand lingered on Buck’s door and the sharp static of magic made his hair stand on end. 

The heat of Eddie closing the distance between them was enough to have Buck practically purring if wolves could purr. But he couldn’t and he didn’t because Chimney had almost a million chances to make some kind of joke about Buck’s curls or Eddie swimming in his clothes but he didn’t. Buck wasn’t about to give him another chance. 

“You guys weren’t answering your phones!” Chimney said. 

“We just woke up,” Eddie said, his voice still deep and sleep drunk but more human. “What’s wrong?” 

Chimney’s eyes darted back and forth between them and Buck didn’t know whether or not he wanted to show his teeth or tuck in his tail. He loved his pack mate but Buck was about two seconds away from shoving him back out the door and presenting his throat in hopes that Eddie would go back to scenting him. 

It was ridiculous, he knew, but no one had told that to his heart with the way it was going wild in his chest. 

Chimney’s eyes cut to Buck with an almost apology formed on his lips. 

“You need to call Bobby.” 

Chapter Text

Buck’s heart pounded against his ribcage as he jerked his Jeep into park. It lurched at the sudden shift with his gears groaning in protest but Buck was already out before he could hear it. 

“Buck!” Eddie snapped, biting out a curse as he released his grip of the handle and yanked off his seatbelt. 

No! No! No! 

Buck could smell him. He could feel him. The ground was one wrong step away from giving out under him and there was nothing Buck could do to stop it! The scent of oil and polish and smoke was familiar and safe but it was tainted by the rage. Rage and tobacco and pepper and the feral twisted wrongness. It was all there where it shouldn’t be. Buck skidded to a stop in the center of the bay where the trucks weren’t back in all the way as if they had jolted to a stop. Buck could feel the rock of the shocks like an echo in his muscles. 

“Buck!” Bobby called, his alpha’s scent circling around him and drawing him up short. Bobby’s scent was usually a comfort but in that moment it was a noose wrapped around his throat. It jerked him to a stop and made his shoes skid out from under him. 

Buck’s ribs went tight and all over again he couldn’t breathe. 

The glass walls of the locker room had always been a running joke amongst them. Chimney used to quip that it was the LAFD’s way of putting their sexiness on display. 

Well, now Buck really was on display. 

The other lockers were left untouched. Buck’s hadn’t been so lucky. 

The door was hanging askew by a single bolt in the last remaining hinge. The metal was dented and warped beyond recognition with slashes cut jagged across that managed to make the frame into ribbons. 

All of Buck’s things were thrown from the locker. His extra uniform was in tatters. Pictures were ripped from the wall. His work out clothes were left in piles on the floor. His shower supplies had been thrown so hard against the opposite wall that the bottles had exploded and left dents against the plaster. The two books that he’d kept in there for when the nights went long and sleep was elusive were scattered on the ground with pages free of the binding and torn. 

Buck’s life. Managled and in pieces. And it was all on display. 

Thump thump thump thump!

                     thump!

                                                 thump!

                             thump!

Run!

                         Run!

Get away!

Get somewhere safe!

Not safe!

Not safe! 

Buck howl was a pathetic whimper of a thing that fell from his lips in a warble. The pain was fleeting as his bones broke and shifted but he didn’t even think. He just reacted. Instinct took over as he dropped onto all fours and the shredded remains of his clothes fell off his fur. 

It’d been years since Buck had shifted without meaning too.

Not safe!

              Not safe!

Rage!

So much rage!

On his things!

              On his stuff!

                         Run! Run! Run! 

Buck ran. 

“B shift was on a call,” Bobby said, the words sounding distant even to his own ears. Athena’s scent was the only thing keeping him grounded in that moment. Lilacs and syrup and coconut and home. 

Bobby clung to that scent with all his might as he watched the security footage over and over again. 

“There wasn’t a man behind?” Athena asked as all personnel from B-shift raced out of the bunks for the trucks. 

Bobby shook his head. “Five alarm fire. It was all hands on deck by some miracle.”

The irony wasn’t lost on Bobby for thanking God that something so devastating and destructive had miraculously meant that no unsuspecting member of the 118 was left alone in the station that night. Bobby may not work a lot of B shifts but they were his responsibility nevertheless. There were a few wolves but they all had their own packs, their own lives, beyond the firehouse. He may not have been their alpha but he was their captain and he never would’ve forgiven himself if something had happened and he hadn’t done a thing to stop it. 

The footage showed the fire trucks and ambulance wheeling out of the house with all the bells and whistles of a rapid response. Lights flashed and if there was sound, he was sure the speaker on the computer would’ve been rattling with all the sirens. 

The bay doors had barely closed before he stepped inside from somewhere off camera. The back doors, Bobby’s mind supplied, when he’d followed the scent to the broken lock. 

Tall, bulky build in blue jeans and an oversized canvas jacket. His thick dark hair shrouded his face, wild and unkempt from where it fell atop his shoulders. He stepped into the empty bay with slow and measured steps and circled around. To anyone else, he would’ve looked like any other man wandering around where he wasn’t supposed to be. 

Bobby’s teeth felt too large for his mouth. 

The man’s head ticked to the side before he started for the locker rooms and Bobby’s fists twitched beneath his arms that were keeping them pinned to his sides. 

The nature of the cameras meant that they were more focused watching all the expensive municipal equipment and weren’t angled toward the lockers out of privacy. But Bobby knew he was there. He could see the reflection of his shadow on the glass. 

Cash rocked onto his heels and stood there, inhaling the air, for more than a minute. 

Athena’s hip was bulky and hard with her belt against his side but it was a comforting weight all the same. It wouldn’t have been the first time Bobby had indulged himself in sliding his hands around the soft curves of her waist, tucking his nose down into her throat and grounding himself in her scent as his mate leaned back into his chest. But she wasn’t just his wife in that moment. She was a police sergeant and he was an alpha. A dangerous killer had walked into his station like he owned it and spread his poison into his pack’s nightmares. 

It wasn’t the comfort he needed but it was all he would get until he could drag that unwanted wolf out of their lives for good. 

The glass shuddered when Cash ripped open Buck’s locker and carnage followed. Buck’s possessions went flying and Athena sucked in a sharp breath as something practically exploded on impact against the furthest wall. 

“What’s he looking for?” She asked and Bobby worked his jaw so that his next words came out rather than the growl that was threatening to overtake him. 

“Just wait.” 

Cash continued on his rampage before finally it all stopped. The stillness of the station used to be a peaceful thing. It was a calm that sheltered them from the outside fires they ran into every day without hesitation. But the stillness was all wrong then. It was warped and soured and barbed with rage. So much rage. 

Cash walked back into the bay and stared up at the camera, every inch of him radiating the challenge. 

One of Buck’s t-shirts was bunched in his fist and pressed against his nose as he inhaled. 

His scent. 

Buck’s scent. 

“Has Buck seen this?” Athena asked, her voice flat as she watched Cash walk out of frame. 

Bobby swallowed as he looked over to the bunkroom where Buck had promptly bolted into after shifting. He didn’t even think it was a conscious thing. Buck hadn’t struggled not to shift since he was a rookie and even then it was nothing more than a few vocalizations that Hen shushed before teasing him that his tail was wagging. But the tatter remains of his clothes had fallen around him as the sound of his paws scraped against the concrete. His tail had been tucked sharply between his legs with his ears drawn back and a whine that had cut through Bobby like a knife. Then between one thump of a heart beat and the next, Buck had run into the bunk room and disappeared beneath a bunk in the furthest corner of the room. 

“No,” Bobby said with a firm shake of his head. He wouldn’t if Bobby had any say. 

Bobby’s muscles were coiling beneath his skin, ready to shift; ready to hunt. Twice now his pack had been targeted and twice he’d allowed it to happen. 

There wouldn’t be a third. 

“Bobby,” Athena said, his name a warning on her lips. 

Bobby’s jaw twitched as he shook his head. 

“Let me handle this.” Athena pressed. 

“He’s coming after my pack .” Bobby bit out, staring over her shoulder so he could avoid her gaze. Her understanding, sympathetic gaze. 

But she didn’t understand. Not really. Athena was warmth and home and love and all the things Bobby thought he’d lost for good. But she wasn’t a wolf. No matter how much she tried she’d never fully understand. Not about the itch that was driving him crazy underneath his skin from the footsteps that monster took in his fire house. Not about the tingle down his spine that constantly kept his head on a swivel. Not the pull in his heart and his head that twinged with pain and fear Buck was so desperately trying to hide but couldn’t because he was pack pack pack and that meant something deeper than words could even begin to explain. 

“And now I have a current description and picture of him that can go on every BOLO as well as some fingerprints.” Athena pushed and Bobby stepped out of her reach. He didn’t ever want her feeling the ugliness of the struggle that came with fighting dominance over his wolf. 

Athena followed him anyway. 

Her hand was a balm against his cheek and Bobby couldn’t help but turn into her palm to inhale her scent at her wrist. Of lilacs and syrup and coconut and home. Of pack pack pack.

Mate mate mate.

My mate.

Mine.

Love.

So much love.

Home home home.

Thump thump thump. 

The tightness in Bobby’s ribs eased up enough for him to release a breath. 

“Let me handle this.” Athena repeated. 

Bobby shook his head as much as he could without dislodging her touch. “I’m an alpha.” 

Athena nodded as she tipped up her chin. 

“That’s right. You are. You’re their alpha.” She ticked her head in the direction where the others were. Eddie had shifted and was guarding the door, blocking the entry with his whole body. Chimney was tucked in a corner with his hands pressed to the floor and his dragon tattoo glowing. Hen was…

Bobby watched as Hen hurried through the house with Maddie at her side. Maddie, who barely gave the destroyed locker room a glance before her expression turned as fierce as a mother wolf as she made a beeline for the bunkroom. 

“They need you here. Not out tracking and facing off with a killer.” She didn’t say it but the implication was there. 

“I could take him,” Bobby said, less out of pride and more out of reassurance. 

Athena’s mouth pressed into a thin line. “Maybe you could. You also could be hurt and where would that leave them? What happens to them if you get hurt or something worse?”

Bobby’s heart pulsed behind his chest. 

Thump thump thump. 

Pack pack pack. 

“It’s almost the full moon,” Athena reminded him. Not that he needed one with the amount of ribs he had in the fridge waiting for their dinner. “They need their alpha here with them.”

Bobby could hear the faint sound of Maddie’s voice through the door she had disappeared through. The whine from Buck was even harder to ignore. 

B shift had another call so for now they were alone. But it wouldn’t be that way for long. They had things they needed to do. Plans to put in place. Bobby wasn’t leaving Buck alone for one second no matter how much the pup was going to hate it. He needed to relieve Eddie even though he knew Eddie would rather cut off his own arm than leave Buck. Chimney would have his hands full trying to keep wards around all of them but Bobby knew he was already kicking himself for letting Cash find a weak spot to break through. Hen would be fine but Bobby worried about her regardless. She was so blessedly human that it was hard not to when Bobby knew the wolves in the world. 

The words tasted like acid on his tongue. “If he comes after—”

“Then I wouldn’t expect anything less. But let’s not chase after trouble when that’s what he wants. He challenged you, Bobby. He’s trying to draw you away.” 

Bobby hated it. He hated it so much, it ached all the way into his teeth. But he nodded. Athena was right. 

It was meant as a taunt, a challenge, and Bobby had to fight his instincts and not give in. 

“Let me handle this, baby,” Athena said, her voice low enough so it was only Bobby’s to hear. “You handle them. They need you.” 

Bobby’s wolf cowered as he let out a breath through his nose. He leaned down and pressed his forehead against Athena’s, trying to hold her as close as her belt and Kevlar would allow. 

“I love you,” he said, inhaling lilacs and syrup and coconut and home home home. 

“I love you too.” 

Safe.

Sister.

Maddie.

                          Maddie.

Maddiesistermotherlovesafe.

Thump thump thump. 

Buck used to find so much comfort in Maddie’s scent when he was younger. Long before he was a wolf and those scents exploded into a color and clarity, Buck would sneak into her room searching for it. When the thunderstorms got too loud or the dreams too bad, his first step into Maddie’s room before crawling into bed did more to calm his racing heart than any nightlight or “bonding” talks with his dad about pushing past his fear. Maddie would make room for him to snuggle beside her and stroke his hair while he hid his face beneath her quilts until he fell asleep to the scent of her sweet shampoo and that body glitter spray all the girls her age wore. 

When Maddie left, it was a few weeks before his parents moved out her things and turned her room into a guest bedroom. Buck had blown past curfew and hid in the park the afternoon he was supposed to help his dad move out the furniture so they could paint the walls from a soft pink to a dull cream color. But for those first couple of weeks, whenever a text from Maddie about how much she was loving Boston made the sharp spike in Buck’s heart twist, Buck had her room to go in where the carpet still smelled that body glitter and Buck could close his eyes and wish the nightmare was over. 

But now that Buck was a wolf, Maddie’s scent was sharper, brighter, like strawberry fields and lightning from Chimney’s magic and sunlight. Like pack pack pack. 

Sister. 

Safe. 

Sister. Mother. Mother. Sister. 

Thump thump thump. 

And she was sad. Buck could feel it encompassing his whole being. Maddie was warmth and home and protection but she was blue. Sad and blue as it throbbed the line of their bond no one could ever take away. 

Buck hated it. Hated that he made her blue. Hated that he made her sad. Hated that they all were looking at him like he was broken or weak. But most of all he hated that he made Maddie cry. 

She tried to hide the tremble of her chin behind her hand. 

“Mads,” Buck said, pulling his hands out from Bobby’s sweatshirt so he could grab hers. “Hey, I’m okay.”

Maddie shook her head. 

“I left you all alone,” Maddie said, her voice broken and anguished. She pressed her lips together even as more tears slipped out of the corner of her eye and that sadness in their bond thrummed with regret. So much regret that Buck flinched at the pull in his heart. “I thought I was protecting you by staying away back then but all I did was leave you alone for that monster to… to…”

A sob ripped out of her before she could stop it. 

Buck’s stomach sank down to his feet and threatened to drown him whole. 

This had been precisely why he hadn’t wanted to tell Maddie. But Maddie had barely gotten through the door of the bunkroom before Buck’s instincts had taken over. He’d scrambled from underneath the bunk and bolted to her, using his teeth gently wrapped around her wrist to pull her further into the bunkroom. His thoughts had been racing as fast as his heart. 

Not safe.

Not safe.

Rage.

Too much rage.

Not safe.

Protect Maddie. 

The bunk room had one door and no windows and smelled of pack. She’d be safe there. Buck would protect her. 

Protect Maddie.

Maddie was there.

T here with Buck.

Not safe.

Rage.

S o much rage.

Protect protect protect. 

Buck didn’t know how long he’d paced in front of his sister until the adrenaline had worn off and the exhaustion seeped in. But eventually the scent of rage was replaced with bleach until all that was left was the harshness of cleaning supplies and the sweet smell of oil and rubber. Eventually, he came back to his senses enough to shift and Bobby brought him a spare set of his clothes, swaddling Buck in his alpha’s scent even as Buck worried that the embarrassment was going to burn the fabric away. 

Then he told Maddie everything. 

“Maddie! No! Hey!” Buck grabbed for her hands again when she tried to pull away. “You… you saved me, Mads.” 

Maddie shot him an incredulous look. “How?” 

“By setting me free,” Buck said and surprised even himself when he realized… he was smiling. A small, quiet thing but a smile all the same. Maddie’s blue brightened in a solar flare of pink. Love. Affection. All the things Buck never questioned when he was alone without a person to turn to back then. Even before he was a wolf, Buck thought maybe he and Maddie always had a thread that tied them together. “I never would’ve made it out of Hershey if you hadn’t told me to go.” 

“You would’ve.” Maddie insisted but Buck shook his head. 

“No,” he said. He wouldn’t have. 

Maddie set him free. 

That had been his single thread that kept him tethered to his own sanity until he finally got to LA. And maybe there was still hurt in his heart from the way it happened. There were still unanswered questions and pains in his chest from the silence. But Maddie had been the one to set him free. 

Buck thought of those nights when he shifted and the world was too big and too loud and he was hungry and desperate and scared. When he couldn’t figure out how to shift back or why he almost wished he wouldn’t because he was wolf and wolf was easy; wolf was good.

But wolf meant losing Maddie; his tether to the world. Being only wolf meant severing that part of himself that kept him from going too far to turn back. 

Maddie. Maddie had been the person who set him free. She was there even if she wasn’t. Even if the absence of her in his life was a sting that took him out at the knees. Maddie was there. She’d always been there. 

Buck didn’t know how to say all that to her. Words were still wrestling with his wolf in his head, trying to find a way to protect himself. 

Maddie gasped as she rubbed at her face, sniffing back the snot and wiping away her tears. 

“Did I ever tell you…” Maddie stopped and took a moment to compose herself. Buck waited as penance. He’d been the one to make her cry. He would be the one to hold her hand as she put herself back together. 

“I think I…” Maddie’s brows furrowed as she searched for the words. “There was a night when something… changed. One minute I was fine, I was actually ahead in the ER which never happened, and then the next it was like… something reached into my chest and twisted my heart until I almost couldn’t breathe.”

Thump t hump thump. 

Buck’s ears perked at the sound of Maddie’s heartbeat in her chest as if to remind himself it was still there. Still beating and whole and connected to Buck’s by a bond that was pink and warm and bright. A thread linking Buck’s heartbeat with Maddie’s. 

Maddie pressed a hand to her chest and rubbed at it absently. 

“I knew then,” Maddie said before she started to tremble all over.. “I think? I think I knew something had happened to you. I don’t know how and I didn’t know then but I… I just fell to my knees and cried. I cried for so long that they had to call Doug from surgery and even he…”

Buck’s growl at the mention of Doug couldn’t be helped. He was still on edge. The memory of tobacco and pepper and rage was still burned into his nostrils. His skin itched all over and if he could, he would’ve brought Doug back up from the dead and killed him himself. 

He would’ve made it hurt. He would’ve—

But the mere thought of doing any of that made Buck’s stomach twist. It was too familiar. Too much like what he’d been through and Maddie deserved her own justice. 

He knew she still struggled with that. They were in the business of saving lives, not taking them, and at some point in her life, Doug had given Maddie her freedom too. It’d been a trick, trapping her like a bird in a cage, but for one brief moment, he’d reminded her that she had wings. 

Maddie shook her head. 

“Even he knew something wasn’t right. He took me home. Put me in bed and I cried myself to sleep.” Maddie shuddered through the memory before she turned to look at Buck. “And when I woke up… I was… fine? Shaky but it was like… I could feel you. I knew you were okay.” 

The bond. His tether. It thrummed in his veins like an electric current when he woke up in that forest. 

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. 

Maddie sucked in a sharp breath and held it even as her eyes got glassy with tears again. 

“I should’ve called.” She breathed and Buck couldn’t hold back anymore. 

He threw himself into her arms, practically curling himself in half to fit against her, and hugged her tight until he was afraid she was going to break. Buck buried his face in her neck and inhaled the scent of strawberry fields and sunlight and lightning. 

Eddie didn’t like it. He didn’t need to look to know Buck didn’t like it either. 

Buck’s heart kicked up a notch as the words sank in and like always, Eddie was too tuned into the frequency of Buck to notice anyone else. 

Thumpthumpthump. 

Bobby heard it too. “This isn’t a punishment, Buck.”

“Feels like it.” Buck muttered under his breath. 

“It’s not.” Athena pressed. “You all would’ve been heading to the cabin in a few days anyway. Going now with Bobby will get you—”

“—Out of the way.” Buck finished for her. “Yeah. I got it.”

Bobby’s warning rumble was enough to knock Buck out of whatever pity party funk he wa sin to let a grimace of apology slip onto his expression. He ducked his head into Bobby’s hoodie and Eddie knew if he’d been a wolf, his ears would’ve been tucked back against his head. 

Eddie’s wolf nipped at him as Bobby’s scent wafted around Buck. He didn’t think Buck knew what Bobby was doing. All of Buck’s clothes had shredded into pieces the moment he had shifted and anything in his locker that survived the assault had been a no go from the start. The wolf’s scent had been all over every inch of fabric that may have survived including their own. Bobby’s extra sweats were kept locked in his office and away from the scene. It was the most logical conclusion to let Buck borrow them. 

But the most wolf conclusion meant that Bobby’s scent was washing all over Buck. Claiming him. Masking him. 

If Cash had been trying to find Buck’s scent then it would only be a matter of time before he followed it to the source. 

Eddie’s wolf wanted to rip the clothes off Buck with his teeth and smother any scent leftover with his own. 

Scenting Buck that morning had been purely instinct. It’d been a while since Eddie had slept all night as a wolf and waking up to an empty bed and the quiet movements downstairs had made his baser instincts want to howl. He’d found Buck smelling of toothpaste and soap and distance and Eddie. Not enough of him though. Eddie hadn’t even realized what he’d been doing until it was too late. 

But now Buck smelled like Bobby, their alpha, and Eddie’s skin itched. 

Athena, for her part, didn’t seem to mind Buck’s bark. But she didn’t mince her words either. 

“We can’t keep pretending, Buck,” she said not unkindly.

Buck flinched as he curled further in on himself. It took all of Eddie’s self control to keep his lips pressed together and hold back his snarl at Athena for making him smaller. 

It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t any of their fault! Especially not Buck’s. But Eddie knew one way or another, if Buck was left to his own devices, he would sink into his own head and think it was anyway. 

Maddie's hand rubbed up and down the long bow of Buck’s spine. 

Eddie had to swallow past the knot in his throat where he had stuffed down the urge to growl. Every inch of him wanted to knock her hand away and bully between them until he could pin Buck down and cover his body with his own. Her scent was sweet but electric from long exposure to magic and her palm was spreading it all over Buck’s back and mixing it in with Bobby’s. He could hardly smell Buck now. It was there. It would always be there. Peppermint and eucalyptus and summer rain. Like sunshine and pack pack pack and something that was powering his heart until the whisper was right on the reaches of his mind with ma—

The sharp burst of static was a strong pinch on his funny bone that lanced up into his fingers and made his hand go numb. 

Eddie snarled, whirling around on Chimney who was staring unapologetically back at him. 

“Keep glowering like that and your face will stick.” Chimney quipped. 

“I’m not glowering!” 

Chimney’s expression said more than just the fact that he didn’t believe him. There was a warning in his look too. 

Maddie’s expression was pinched and Eddie got the hint. 

“I wasn’t glowering,” Eddie said again even has heat burned at the back of his neck. He pointedly didn’t look at the confused frown pulling at Buck’s plump lips. Eddie crossed his arms and leveled his gaze at Bobby and Athena. “I just don’t like it either. Splitting up.”

He liked it even less that Buck and Bobby would be on their own or that Buck would be further than an arm’s length away. They should all go together. 

But not everyone could drop everything and go. Maddie and Chimney had Jee-Yun. Hen had Karen and Denny. Eddie had Christopher. There was the shift they were all still scheduled to show up for. 

But waiting wasn’t an option either. Cash had already shown that he could blow past casual protective wards and that he didn’t care about terroriories. 

He may not remember Buck but he’d recognized him. 

Buck’s heart was a tempo in Eddie’s ears that seemed to match his own. 

Thump

thump        

thump.

Cash scared Buck. Even if Buck would rather run into fire than admit it, Eddie knew. If he could take Buck by the back of his neck and drag him away to a den far, far away then he would. At least then he wouldn’t smell like Bobby or Maddie or pack. He’d smell like… 

Eddie swallowed. 

“I don’t like it either,” Hen said, pulling the attention away from Eddie. 

“The cabin is going to be the safest place for you.” Athena pointed out. “And no one is going to be alone.” 

“Maybe I should be.” 

Buck said the words so low, even the wolves in the room almost missed it. Ice spread down the length of Eddie’s spine and seeped into his fingers as he whirled on Buck. The others stared at him in disbelief and Buck tried to pretend he didn’t see as he plucked at a loose thread on the cuff of his sleeve. 

Buck looked up at them beneath his long eyelashes and shrugged.

“He’s looking for me,” Buck said and Eddie didn’t know if it was because he was so attuned to the frequency of Buck or the fact that Buck wasn’t trying to hide it, but he didn’t miss the shudder that rippled down him at the confession. “Maybe it’s best if I sit this full moon out.” 

“Not happening,” Eddie said and almost immediately felt the pulse of warning from his alpha thrum in his skull. Even if it cowered him, his lip still threatened to curl. 

“No,” Bobby said, his voice firm and sure. “You’re pack, Buck. Pack doesn’t leave anyone behind.” 

Buck laughed but the sound was hollow and broken. 

“I don’t think Lilo and Stitch meant that when it involves a killer omega wolf endangering everyone around them.” 

“Pretty sure that’s exactly what they meant.” Chimney argued and Buck rolled his eyes as all his walls shut down around him. 

“Come on,” Buck said, leaning onto his elbows and pulling away from Maddie’s touch. “Athena’s right. We have to stop pretending. Cash is looking for me. He wasn’t before and it sucks that he found me through a really crappy set of circumstances but we can’t change that now. Maybe I let him find me.” 

Eddie was going to be sick. Or he was going to tear everything apart with his claws. But mainly he wanted to howl. Howl until he was hoarse and he couldn’t howl anymore. Howl until Buck had no choice but see sense and sing his wolf song with him. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so stupid. Maybe then he wouldn’t think he was so expendable. Maybe then he’d remember that he was pack pack pack and that meant something! 

“So he can maul that pretty face of yours a second time?” Hen didn’t bother hiding the angry from her voice. 

Maddie tried but there was a tremble in her words and hands as she reached for Buck like any moment he would disappear. “No Buck.”

“Overruled Buckaroo!”

“Guys!” Buck snapped. “Come on! I—”

“No,” Bobby said and there was a finality in his tone that Eddie knew they all felt down to the very marrow of their bones. 

Buck pushed anyway. “Cap!”

“Enough!” Bobby’s eyes flashed red as his alpha voice pulled at their bonds and brought their bickering to heel. Eddie grimaced as his neck ached to present and Buck dropped his gaze immediately to the floor, his shoulders bunching up to his ears. 

Bobby almost never used the voice. He didn’t need to most times. But the pull of the alpha was undeniable then. It rang like a bell in their souls and sighed pack pack pack. 

None of them were going to leave Buck behind. 

The red was gone in an instant and Bobby deflated with a sigh. Athena’s hip rocked to press against Bobby for a fleeting moment of silent support before she was giving him space to lead. 

“The cabin is going to be the safest place for us as a pack besides here. Hen and Eddie, do what you need to do with your families. They’re always welcome but we’ll understand if you want them to sit this one out. Chimney,” Bobby said, turning to Chimney with a sweep of his arm. “I want wards around this entire station. I’m going to figure out coverage for our shift but I don’t want to let anyone else walk into an ambush.”
Chimney’s gum popped in his back molar as he nodded, already flexing his fingers. “You got it.”

“Buck and I are going to leave from here to the cabin.” Bobby sent Maddie an apologetic glance. “Maddie, do you have a shift?”

Maddie shook her head. “I’ll pick up Jee and then go pack Buck a bag. I can stop by your place to pick up your things.”

“Not alone,” Buck said and while his shoulders were still bunched up by his ears, his eyes were wide and frantic. He could hear it in the way his heart was starting to race beneath his ribcage. He could feel it beneath his skin. The itching reactive panic that made his claws feel like they were one minute away from popping out.

“I’ll go with her.” Eddie didn’t even realize the words were his own until Buck’s pleading gaze shifted to him. “She’ll be safe with me.”

Thump

   thump

         thump. 

If he couldn’t be with Buck then he could at least make sure Maddie would be protected. 

“I’ll be done with the wards by then. We should leave Jee with the Lees. She’ll be safe there.” Chimney added and Maddie pressed her lips together as she nodded. “We’ll drive up together.”

“See?” Maddie said, nudging up against Buck’s side. “Everything will be fine.” 

Eddie didn’t need to hear Buck’s heartbeat to know that he didn’t quite believe her. 

Chapter Text

Maddie may not be a wolf but even she could feel the magic seeped deep in the ground surrounding the cabin. Or maybe that was just a wail of the ghosts she left behind in Big Bear. 

It had been a fleeting thought as consciousness had threatened to slip away from her fingers that were chilled to the bone from the cold. She had hoped that Doug’s blood seeping into the earth couldn’t touch the magic Chimney had put there. It had been why Maddie had suggested Big Bear in her desperation to stay alive. Leading Doug to a place that had been so special to her brother’s pack had almost felt sacrilegious. But it started to feel like home to Maddie too. Safe. And when the darkness creeping into her vision had been too much to fight she could’ve sworn she heard them in her head. 

Maddie.

       Maddie.

             SisterMotherlovepack.

Pack.        Pack.          Pack.

Get up.

        Get up.

                        Live.

Maddie.

         Here.  

               I got you. 

She could feel the bonds stronger now that she’d spent more time with the wolves and the magic that hummed beneath Chimney’s skin. The same magic that snapped at her every time they touched unexpectedly like a kiss welcoming her home. 

Eddie and Chimney both shifted in their seats as they turned onto the dirt drive and Maddie churned in her head what it must feel like for them. What it must feel like being able to stare at the exposed current that thrummed through them. 

To be honest, Maddie was surprised Eddie hadn’t broken free from the backseat the moment they got off the highway. Eddie had kept to his word and stayed with Maddie while she packed Buck a bag before stopping at the Grant-Nash house to fill the trunk with an impressive selection of groceries. He’d moved like a wolf, constantly pacing and touching places with his hand to leave his scent. 

But Eddie was still human, still clothed, and still in the backseat even though his nose was pressed against the glass of Chimney’s window. He shifted, getting more and more restless as they drove. 

“Has the governor pardoned you yet?” Chimney asked, reaching over to tangle his fingers with Maddie’s. 

Eddie’s mouth twisted into a grimace. “I’ve been charged with the high crime of being no fun.” 

Apparently Christopher hadn’t taken the news that he would be spending the full moon with his Tía Pepa and her family well. She’d watched Eddie raking a hand through his hair more than a few times as they spoke. She’d had a suspicion it wasn't just his son that was causing the normally unflappable wolf to give in to his restlessness. 

“He’ll forget the whole thing when he sees Denny is going to be there too.” 

Eddie’s aunt had graciously offered to host Karen and Denny when Eddie had explained the situation. Hen would drop her wife and son off and join the rest of the pack in a day or so. She had offered to take Jee too but Anne was more familiar with the magic that sang in their daughter’s blood. Leaving Jee with the Lees had felt like being asked to cut off her own hand but Maddie knew they’d protect her with their dying breaths. 

Once the food and bags had been packed and Christopher had been delivered to the safety of Pepa’s den, they’d hit the road. Eddie couldn’t have gotten in the car fast enough. 

Not that Maddie could blame him. 

The sight of the warm lights of the cabin ahead unclenched a tightness in her chest she didn’t realize she’d been holding onto since Buck had shifted and curled up in the back of Bobby’s truck, refusing to talk anymore after he’d been outvoted. 

The silent treatment wouldn’t last long. Maddie had been around Buck when he was a teenager. He never could live in the silence for long. He was just… overwhelmed. 

It was hard remembering that you weren’t alone. 

Though, Maddie supposed calling the cabin a cabin was a bit of an understatement. 

She didn’t have the specifics. Just that after his family had passed, Bobby had a not insignificant amount of money rotting away at his conscious. It had been Athena who had suggested investing it in something not for himself but for the life, the pack, he had built from the ashes of his past. They certainly weren’t the only pack in LA but it was hard to run off the frenetic energy of the moon in Athena’s backyard without disrupting the neighbors. 

The cabin became the pack’s home away from home. On the outside, the windows were clear and bright, inviting them in even as they drove up the long drive. There were enough bedrooms for each of them and a kitchen and living room big enough to handle so many people as well as three grown wolves. There weren’t enough bathrooms but there were never enough bathrooms. The ground level was specifically for storage with the wide expanse of the second floor mapped out for most of the living spaces. The third floor had been converted to a den for the kids with bunk beds and a skylight Maddie had spent a time or two with Karen and the kids to stare at the constellations while wolves in the distance sung them to sleep. There was a wrap around porch that led to a deck in the back that stared out at the wide open space that was all theirs. 

But there was something more. Something in the ground that welcomed them home. She wasn’t a wolf and she wasn’t a witch but Maddie could still feel it. The same way she could feel Chimney’s magic when his arms wrapped around her and held her tight. It was ancient and quiet and it kept Doug’s ghost away from her mind when she stepped past Chimney’s wards. 

A fortified home tucked in the woods far away from the residential areas and rental properties. 

A quiet oasis. 

A safe space. 

The tension in Maddie’s spine melted away the closer and they got closer.

Bobby met them at the front as Chimney slowed to a stop. He hadn’t even put the car in park before Eddie was flying from the backseat, stopping briefly to greet Bobby. Then he was gone. 

“How was the trip?” Bobby asked, his own tension from earlier softened and round at his shoulders. He smiled at Maddie as he took the groceries from the back before she could even reach them. 

“Uneventful,” Chimney said, grabbing Maddie’s bag and leaving her hands completely empty of any responsibility. 

She rolled her eyes as she turned her back on them and went in search of her brother. 

Maddie stopped at the door when she saw them. 

Buck had shifted back into being human but the downcast set in his expression was still fixed in place. He looked… small. Smaller than he’d been in the bunkroom when she’d found him curled up under a bunk. Full moons usually made Buck practically vibrate with energy. Even the few days leading up to it, he was usually talking a million miles a minute and bouncing on his toes. But instead he was withdrawn. Still. Quiet. 

Maddie’s heart ached. 

But then Eddie stepped into Buck’s space and his hand settled on the back of Buck’s neck. She couldn’t hear what they were saying through the glass but she could see Eddie making sure Buck listened. 

Buck breathed out a sigh as he nodded and Eddie pressed his forehead against Buck’s brow. 

It wasn’t anything new. Boundaries were apparently a foreign concept to wolves and Buck and Eddie lived out of each other’s pocket on a good day. It made sense that they were stuck together like glue on a bad one. 

Maddie just wished that for once, maybe the magic of the moon would help them figure it out soon. 

It was getting kind of ridiculous. 

The moon was full. So full and bright and big and Buck shouldn’t be there. 

Buck shouldn’t be on the deck of the cabin, his belly full and his pack surrounding him as they stared up at the moon. 

The moon made their blood sing. 

But Buck shouldn’t be there. 

For the first time, Buck stared out at the woods at the back of their territory and eyed the shadows with suspicion. He could be anywhere, staring up at the moon like all the other wolves on the ground hoping to hear her sing. The moon called to all her wolves. Even Buck. 

His howl burned in his throat, begging to be released into the brisk night air. It filled his lungs and vibrated along his veins, humming with the moon and singing in his blood. 

Buck would stay close. He would stay alert. The others could enjoy the full moon but Buck would stay on guard. Protecting them. Watching out for them. He shouldn’t be there. It wasn’t safe. Athena was missing, staying in Los Angeles to hunt down Buck’s nightmare instead of being there by Bobby’s side. Bobby missed her. Buck could feel it; see it in the way Bobby’s hand would flex by his side like he was reaching for her. Christopher and Karen and Denny and Jee-Yun were away too. The pack missed them. Buck missed them. They were gone because of Buck. The guilt that had wrapped around his throat like a noose was a leash he couldn’t shake. 

But the moon was so big. So big and beautiful and full and bright. She said sing my children. Sing. Sing for me. 

Bobby shifted first. His wolf was big. Powerful. Black fur that bled into white making the coat almost grey along his back. Red flashing eyes and a pull that said alpha alpha my pack my family sing sing with me. 

And Buck…

Buck was… 

Buck was wolf. 

Buck was wolf wolf wolf. 

The woods. He could smell the bark. The oak. The pine. The cedar. Spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. 

Here.

I’m here.

Here Buck.

Here. 

Eddie nipped at his ear and Buck yelped as he chased him. 

Then they ran. 

Run run run

my pack

              my family

r un.

Run with me.

                   Run

sing

Run run run. 

They ran through the trees. Through the woods. Beneath the moon. Singing their song as they gave into the pull and the bonds between them. The humans howled too. Chimney’s magic was like lightning in the air. The threads between them were tangled. When one faltered the others were there to catch them. They moved as one. They howled and sang their beautiful song. They were pack pack pack.

Pack

Run

run

                      runpack

                   pack

                                                                 pack 

Thump thump thump

Run beneath the moon 

The moon.

                         The moon. 

Buck was wolf. He was pack. The moon wasn’t theirs but the land was. The trees. The woods. 

Buck ran until his lungs burned and the world vibrated beneath his paws. 

They stopped when they came to a clearing and the moon was bright and full above them with tiny stars littered across the blue blue sky. Their breaths came out in bursts of steam like Chimney’s dragon. 

Eddie disappeared into the forest while Bobby sat serenely with his head tilted to the sky. 

Maddie laughed and it was pink pink pink. Buck loved her laugh. He could remember when he was alone and the world was loud and scary and the stars were gone and he was in the dark and the scent of blood and rage haunted his dreams and Buck remembered Maddie’s laugh. 

He missed her laugh. 

He loved her laugh. 

Chimney had picked up a handful of grass and blew on his fingers, his dragon glowing and coiled around his wrist. Blue lights flew from his palm and surrounded Maddie like fireflies. 

Buck jumped and tried to bite them. 

Stupid fireflies.

Come here.                                              Bite.

Let Buck bite. 

Chimney took another handful and blew it directly at Buck so that all the tiny lights swarmed him. Chimney’s magic was like pop rocks on him, snapping and static and annoying! 

Buck yowled as he tried to get away. 

Stupid Chimney!

            Stupid fireflies! 

He fell onto his back and rolled around in the grass, batting at his fur and the air as he tried to bite them. 

Off!

Get them off!

They were everywhere!

Stupid Chimney!                                                     Stupid fireflies!

Help! 

Maddie and Hen laughed instead of saving him. 

                   Traitors. 

Thump thump thump. 

Spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. 

Here.

I’m here.

Here Buck.

Always here.

Thump thump thump.                                                 PackEddieMore.

  Always more. 

Eddie broke through the trees with a proud gait in his step as he made a beeline for Buck. The dead rabbit in his mouth swung with each passing strut and he stepped over Buck as the fireflies dispersed. Buck sneezed as the lingering magic fizzled in his nose and he rolled onto his front as Eddie circled around him. 

Eddie huffed out a noise as he dropped the rabbit in front of Buck, his tongue lulling out as bursts of steam fell from his mouth, and Buck barely sniffed the rabbit before he ate the whole thing. 

Eddie pranced around him, pleased with himself, and Buck heard Hen groan. 

“You think they’ll finally—”

Maddie shushed her. 

“Werewolves.” Chimney muttered under his breath before the sweet scent of his gum popped in the air. 

Buck didn’t know what they were talking about. He was eating his rabbit. 

Chapter Text

Buck’s father once told him that when a boy tugged on a girl’s pigtail, it meant he liked her. It never made sense to Buck how. It seemed mean. Maddie was the only girl he knew. The girls in his kindergarten class didn’t count. Not really. But he didn’t want boys tugging on Maddie’s hair. She said it hurt and Buck may have been small but he would’ve fought anyone who tried to hurt her. He would’ve swung his fists as hard and as fast as he could until they left her alone! He would’ve snarled as if he was a wolf. Like a big scary wolf. 

He didn’t snarl when Eddie did it. 

Eddie nipped at his ear, his tail, without restraint. He bullied Buck over with his head, his body, and took ownership of Buck’s space like he belonged there. 

He did belong there. 

Here.

I’m here.          Here Buck.

Eddiepackmore.

Always more. More more more.

Eddie. 

Spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. 

Eddie nipped at Buck’s ear and Buck went warm all over. 

Eddie yanked at Buck’s tail and Buck’s heart swelled. 

Eddie bulled him over and Buck wanted to present his throat and beg for more. 

Eddie had brought him a rabbit. It’d been delicious. Buck ate the whole rabbit and Eddie had been so pleased. So pleased and so warm and Buck had kind of wanted him to pull on his tail some more so he’d gone searching for a rabbit too. A rabbit he could give Eddie so Eddie would have a rabbit too. 

But then Buck had heard it. Smelled it. 

Deer. 

A deer. 

I will get Eddie a deer. 

The others had been with Bobby. They’d be safe with Bobby. Buck left them with Bobby to get Eddie a deer. 

                  Come here deer. 

                                   Going to get you deer.

                    Kill deer.

The deer took off through the trees. 

Stupid deer!                   Stupid!

                   Come back! 

Here.

I’m here.

Here Buck. 

Eddie was beside him and it was the two of them running beneath the moon. Chasing after the deer that was too fast for Buck or Eddie. And it was warm. So so warm! 

Eddiepackmore.

Always more.                                             More more more.

Eddie. 

The deer was gone but Buck and Eddie weren’t stopping and soon Eddie was chasing Buck instead. Buck felt the static of Chimney’s magic. He felt the history of the earth beneath them. He could smell the trees and the grass and mud and spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. 

Eddie was bigger than Buck as a wolf but Buck was leaner and faster. Much faster than Eddie. 

Chase!                                         Chase me!

                             I’m too fast! 

Here!

I’m here!

Here here here—

Buck yelped as the ground dipped beneath him and suddenly he was falling. Eddie tried to skid to a stop but he’d been too close and too fast and his paws slid right through the mud, sending him tumbling after Buck like dominos. Eddie crashed on top of him and Buck’s shift broke as their momentum sent them rolling. Fur turned to too hot skin and wild, clumsy arms as they clung to one another, rolling and twisting in a tangled pile to the bottom of a dried up riverbed. Eddie started on top and then Buck was above Eddie and the world warped into a topsy turvy twist of up down up down until Buck on his back again and Eddie was nestled on top of him. Buck held on tight as inertia wanted to yank Eddie away and he dug his heels into the mud until they skidded to a stop. 

Thump thump thump. 

Adrenaline was bright in Buck’s blood as his heart pulsed in his ears. 

The moon was laughing. 

But then Buck realized it wasn’t the moon at all. 

It was Eddie. Eddie was laughing and oh the sound of his laugh. The sound of his laugh wrapped around Buck’s heart and kept him pinned to the ground as Eddie braced his hands on Buck’s chest and stared down at him. 

And oh oh oh

Oh

The moon haloed Eddie from behind with twigs and leaves all caught up in his hair. Eddie’s cheeks were ruddy with pink dusting over his nose the longer he laughed. He was grinning from ear to ear, relaxed and dizzy, and his smile was so bright it rivaled the moon. Big and bright and full. It pulled at Buck’s chest, at his heart, until he wanted to sing for him. Eddie didn’t seem to notice. Not with the way his eyes were still a little wild. 

Or maybe he did. 

Eddie always seemed to see Buck even in the darkest of shadows. 

Buck didn’t know. His fingers were already tangled in Eddie’s hair. There was a thread in Buck’s chest and it pulled at him until Buck sat up. The smallest of sounds escaped Eddie’s lips as he fell back onto his heels, nestled in Buck’s lap, and Buck was enraptured. Eddie’s hair was so soft and he’d stopped laughing but that sound. Oh that sound. 

Buck chased after it. 

Eddie’s lips were frozen beneath Buck’s own and they tasted like spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. Like Eddiepackmoremineminepleasepleaseplease! 

Like here. I’m here. Here Buck. 

Eddie's hands cradled Buck’s jaw and his fingers were almost tentative and too gentle but Eddie was always too gentle. Even when he was nipping at Buck’s ear or tugging on his tail or bulling him over. Eddie was nothing but gentle when he handled Buck and it should’ve driven him crazy, being treated like he was glass, but all it did was make Buck want more more more. 

Buck whimpered with want. 

Eddie surged forward like an electric charge had coursed through his body. Buck heard his heart kick up a notch; felt it against his chest. 

Thump thump thumpthumpthump. 

Kissing Eddie was everything. 

Their bond was lighting up like a supernova in Buck’s skull and Buck was breathless and dizzy and all the things he didn’t think possible when it came to kissing. Eddie’s teeth skimmed Buck’s top lip and it was all the prompting Buck needed to open for Eddie’s tongue. Eddie’s fingers turned bruising as he deepened the kiss and it was everything. It was hello and there you are and here… I’m here. I’ve always been here.  

Buck curled his arms around Eddie, letting his hands wander up the long expanse of his spine. His skin was hot beneath Buck’s touch and his strong muscles quivered beneath the sweep of his palm. Eddie shivered and Buck couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, breaking it. 

Eddie growled and the sound reverberated all the way past Buck’s mouth into his chest. 

Suddenly, Buck was flat on his back again and any semblance of gentleness was out the window as Eddie covered him with his body. He fisted Buck’s hair and tipped his head back just enough to give the perfect angle to smash their mouths back together. It was harsh and primal, uncoordinated in their desperation as their teeth clashed together but it was perfect. So perfect. Eddie was perfect and Buck was on fire. Eddie took ownership of Buck’s mouth, his hot breath fanning Buck’s skin as he breathed messily from his nose, and Buck wanted more. He needed more. Always more when it came to Eddie. He wanted Eddie in a way that defied selfishness. He wanted everything. Everything until Eddie was his and Buck was Eddie’s. He wanted Eddie Eddie Eddie and matematemate. 

Buck’s hands kneaded in the soft supple flesh of Eddie’s ass and he couldn’t believe he’d never held Eddie’s ass before. It was perfect. The heat of his skin in Buck’s palms kept him pliant and submissive as Eddie’s power washed over him. 

It terrified him. 

It thrilled him. 

It made Buck want to howl. 

Eventually, they had to break for air and Buck gasped as Eddie ripped his mouth away only to dip back down to kiss at Buck’s jaw, his chin, and the long expanse of his throat. Stubble burned at Buck’s skin as he presented for Eddie’s inspection. Eddie shoved his face in between the column of Buck’s throat and shoulder blade and inhaled. 

“ Fuck!” Eddie growled, sounding more wolf than human as he scraped his teeth on the spot that would’ve changed everything. 

“Eddie!” Buck keened, arching his hips up and lighting up their whole world again when his throbbing cock brushed against Eddie’s own. Buck was leaking precome, so hard already that he was dizzy, and he fisted Eddie’s ass to pull him against him again and again and again until he was rutting shamelessly against him. 

“Stop.” Eddie demanded, his eyes flashing orange as he dropped his weight down onto Buck’s hips to pin him there. 

Buck whined as he obeyed even though he hated every second of it. 

Eddie pulled on Buck’s hair again and exposed his throat, trailing his nose up and down in a filthy nuzzle that threatened to drive Buck insane. 

“Fuck,” Eddie breathed. He ducked down to Buck’s pulse point and kissed the fluttering skin with a softness that was a reminder of all of Eddie’s gentleness. “Fuck, I want to bite you.”

“Do it.” Buck squeezed Eddie harder, hard enough that he had to be hurting him because his knuckles were sore. But the thought of Eddie biting him, claiming him, made him ache all over. “Bite me. Yours! Bite me. Please please please!”

Eddie hesitated. 

Buck’s chest caved in. 

Too much. He’d asked for too much. It was the moon. The moon made people do crazy things and wolves were no different. 

A pathetic noise fell from Buck’s lips before he could help it but he was raw and burning and Eddie hesitated. 

Rejection pulsed in his heart and Eddie stiffened as if he’d felt it. 

“No!” He grabbed onto Buck’s face and forced him to look at him. His eyes were dark with lust and want and Buck was trapped under him, powerless to look away. “No. Not like this.” 

What? 

Buck’s mind was whirling. Human wants and wolf demands were racing too fast in his head to keep up with, tangling with one another that Buck couldn’t keep up. 

Eddie bent down and kissed Buck hard. It hurt but it melted away the ice that had captured Buck.

“Not here,” Eddie said against his swollen mouth. “You deserve more, Buck. So much more than this.” 

“I don’t care.” Buck had never cared. He only cared that it was Eddie. It had always been Eddie. Eddie had been there. He’d always been there. Even when he wasn’t, Eddie had never left Buck alone. His scent was there in Buck’s clothes, his hair, on the insides of his wrists like Bobby and Athena. The single thread in his soul that was bright and warm and beautiful had been EddieEddieEddie and Eddie always returned his song. 

Here.

I’m here.                                Here Buck.

Here. 

“Not like this,” Eddie said, his tongue tracing the seam between Buck’s lips before he kissed him. 

Buck panted as he opened his mouth. “But the moon—”

The moon. It had to happen beneath the moon when she was full and bright and big. It had to happen beneath the moon or it didn’t stick. 

“Will be back.” Eddie promised. “The moon always comes back.” 

Eddie rolled his hips then. Buck didn’t know if it was meant to distract him or be a consolation prize to his disappointment. He didn’t care. Not when he was arching up as pleasure shot through him like a bolt of black lightning stealing his vision away. Eddie did it again and the moan that fell from his lips was filthy and wanton as it cascaded over Buck. A spurt of precome streaked across his belly and slicked both their cocks and Buck needed more. 

He reached for his cock but Eddie batted his hand away, rutting up against Buck with a leisurely roll of his hips. But Buck needed more. He needed more fast or Eddie was going to stretch him too far until he split at the seams and combusted. 

Buck grabbed onto Eddie’s waist instead and dug his heels into the ground as he tried to fuck up for more. But Eddie stiffened. He smirked down at Buck as he dropped his weight into his knees and Buck couldn’t move! He couldn’t move and he needed… he needed…

Buck’s wolf was out of patience. 

He snarled as he clamped down onto the back of Eddie’s neck and bullied them up and down so Eddie was on his back then. He dove in for a kiss, sucking on Eddie’s bottom lip as he scrambled for some kind of friction. He humped onto Eddie’s leg, desperate for anything even if it meant his cock was sliding into the space of Eddie’s hip to rut for some relief. 

Sparks coiled and spread like constellations in Buck’s belly. They flickered in his blood and turned sharp beneath his skin as they skittering up his spine until his panting climbed higher and higher. Eddie was going to smell like him and the thought alone turned Buck wild in desperation to cover him. He wanted to cover Eddie his cum. He wanted everyone to smell him and what he’d done. He wanted… he wanted… 

Eddie’s thighs tightened around him and Buck only had a passing moment to realize what he was doing before Eddie rolled them. Buck scrambled for dominance. Eddie may be able to put the lid back on the box they’d been dancing around but Buck couldn’t. Not when he had him and he was beautiful and saying such beautiful romantic shit that made his heart want to pound out of his chest. 

He clawed through Eddie’s hair and bit onto his lip but Eddie was in more control. 

And Buck would give Eddie everything if he asked. 

Eddie landed on top again and strong hands pinned Buck’s wrists to the ground beside his head. The warning rumble from deep within Eddie’s chest was hotter than it had any right to be and Buck keened as the sound rippled through him. His skin felt like it was vibrating and Eddie…

Eddie stared down at him like he wanted to devour him. The smolder of his gaze threatened to burn Buck from the inside out and take the whole forest with him. He wanted Buck. Buck could smell how much he wanted Buck. Eddie’s lust was almost as tangible as taffy that coated the back of Buck’s throat and made it impossible to speak. 

Buck bared his throat and Eddie bent down to nip at his collarbone, inhaling Buck’s scent like he was starved for oxygen. The scalding flat tongue against his skin was like a match against a strike pad, igniting Buck all over again. 

“Fuck,” Buck breathed. 

“I plan on it,” Eddie said before he bit a harsh kiss against Buck’s mouth. Eddie’s tongue coaxed the embers in Buck’s soul until they blazing beneath his skin. It’s filthy and rough with too much spit and Eddie’s tongue trying to plant a flag on the back of throat. But it was maddening. Every plunge was followed by a caress and every cruel flick was matched with soothing suck that had Buck mewling as he writhed beneath him. 

He needed… he needed… 

Eddie broke away with a pop of Buck’s lips and hands on his shoulders keeping him down when Buck tried to chase after him. Then, faster than Buck could blink, Eddie flipped Buck onto his stomach. 

Eddie was on him like a flash, hot and scorching, as he blanketed Buck’s back with his body. His lips burned open mouth kisses to the base of Buck’s neck and Buck dug his claws into the dirt to stay still. The heat of Eddie’s skin kept Buck there but his kisses down his spine threatened to undo him completely. 

“Please...” Buck’s begging sounded like it was being spit out with gravel and he arched as Eddie nipped at the small of his back. Buck dug his forehead into the ground and tried to chase after the sensation. “Please!” 

The hand between his shoulder blades shoved Buck down. 

“Stay!” 

The command slithered down Buck’s spine and erupted a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Eddie practically purred as Buck stilled and that slid over Buck too, burrowing deep in his chest and blooming from the warmth of his praise. Eddie’s free hand grabbed at Buck’s hip and yanked him up. His other hand disappeared from Buck’s neck to grab onto his waist as Eddie bullied him until Buck’s knees were under him. Buck’s flush burned in his blood as he presented his ass in the air and Eddie wasted no time at all before diving in between Buck’s cheeks and licking him from taint to hole. 

Buck mewled into the dirt at the cool air that skated over his too hot skin. He always knew he liked a bit of manhandling but it was different with Eddie. It was different with them still humming to their wolf song beneath the full moon. There was the gentleness still but it was primal too. Primal in a way that was rough and feral and wild until Buck was practically panting in heat. 

“This is going to hurt,” Eddie said, nuzzling Buck’s soft untouched skin with his cheeks. “I don’t have… I didn’t bring…”

He sounded just as out of control as Buck felt. 

Buck jerked back with a growl in search of a tongue, a finger, anything to fill him. 

“I’ll be fine. Please. Just fuck me! Please! Eddie I—”

Whatever else Buck was going to say was lost when the scorching hot glob of spit landed directly against his hole before a spit slick finger pushed in. 

Buck howled.

It burned. It hurt. But it hurt so good, bordering on too much too soon, and everything Buck could have ever dreamed of. The initial breach stretched Buck almost until he couldn’t breathe and he instinctively rocked away from the pressure. Eddie followed, gentle but firm as he worked his finger in, before he pulled Buck back into position. Then Buck felt the hot wet heat of Eddie’s mouth where his hole was swallowing Eddie’s finger. The slick power of his tongue had Buck wailing as the pain stretched into undeniable pleasure. The tip of his tongue traced the quivering rim and Buck trembled all over as Eddie got him nice and wet for a second finger. 

Eddie rumbled, that deep delicious rumbling from deep within Eddie’s chest that said he was pleased, and Buck could’ve sworn that sound seeped into his very core like hot honey that melted any further resistance. Pleasure was pulsing harder than his heartbeat as Eddie dipped his tongue inside of him. His cock was dribbling an endless stream of precome into the dirt beneath him, hanging between his legs untouched. He couldn’t touch no matter how much he wanted to. Not when he was nearly bent in half and fucking himself back onto Eddie’s tongue and fingers. 

It took Buck too long to realize that the sounds raining around them were coming from Buck’s mouth. Helpless pants and whines and nonsensical pleadings for more as he drooled. 

Buck was covered in spit and the sweet, sweet scent of Eddie’s desire but even he couldn’t tell if the moisture on his face were tears or sweat. Maybe both. He was fluctuating between too hot and too cold and too overwhelmed to do anything 

The tightness in Buck’s belly was his only warning. It thundered through his veins and made his cock kick at the open air and Buck was going to come! Oh oh oh! He was going to—

Eddie pulled his fingers and tongue free and Buck tasted blood on his tongue from how hard he clamped his teeth on his lip to hold back his whine. 

It was pointless. The whine fell out of him, thin and reedy, into the dirt. Buck rocked back for more but found nothing. 

Impatience whirled up inside of him with a heat that burned at the back of his throat. 

“Eddie!” He snarled. Buck clamped his hands into fists as he pushed up only for the solid line of scorching hot muscle to pin him back down. 

The ground was hard beneath Buck but Eddie was unmoving above him, blanketing Buck’s back with his chest. 

Eddie’s growl thundered in Buck’s ear as his hands grabbed onto Buck’s thighs and yanked them even further apart. Buck’s hole was up and exposed, slick with spit, and in the perfect position. Clawed fingers dimpled Buck’s skin without breaking the skin but none of that made Buck’s inner wolf whine. 

No. 

What was threatening to undo Buck’s wolf was Eddie’s teeth that were clamped down at the back of his neck. Not biting down and not in the right place to make Buck his his his and mate mate mate but enough. 

It would be enough. 

Because Eddie wanted to bite him and Buck wanted to bite him back. 

Buck whimpered as he tried to push back but Eddie kept him pinned in place as he rutted up against Buck’s crack. The wet blunt head nudged against Buck’s entrance and Buck was wild. He didn’t even recognize the sounds that fell from his mouth. Not when he was so close he could practically taste it. His blood was humming beneath him and he wanted to come. He wanted to come on Eddie’s cock. He wanted Eddie’s scent on him, in him, so deeply entangled with his own that no one would ever mistake him for being alone. 

He wanted… He wanted…

Buck wailed as Eddie’s cock caught on his entrance and pushed past his rim. 

It hurt! God, it hurt. He was too under prepped and spit had nothing on the good quality lube. But it was perfect. 

So fucking perfect. 

Their bond tugging in Buck’s chest lit up like a comet in the sky, bright and enrapturing, and it was warm. It was so warm. It was spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. It was 

       Here.                    I’m here Buck.

                     Here.

I’m here.                  Here. 

It was

Eddie Eddie Eddie.     Eddiepackmore.

          Always more.

More more more.

                           Eddie. 

It was 

Eddiepackmoremate.

           Love.                                         So much love.

                             Mate mate mate. 

Eddie’s hot wet breath heaved against the back of Buck’s neck where his teeth were almost right as he nestled into Buck all the way. His hips were flushed against Buck’s ass and Buck was flayed alive and full. So full. 

Buck shuddered and Eddie was quivering on top of him, trying to hold still; trying not to hurt him. 

Because Eddie was gentle. Gentle, beautiful Eddie. 

“Please.” Buck thought he said. He couldn’t hear over the thundering in his ears. 

Eddie grunted once and withdrew his hips. The scorching line of his cock dragged across every inch of Buck’s insides and threatened to pull him from the inside out. The emptiness was almost too overwhelming. Eddie’s cock head hovered on the brink of his entrance but Buck was empty and he didn’t know how he’d survive. 

Eddie slammed back into Buck like Buck was nothing more than a hole to be filled. His thrusts were powerful and deep, fucking into Buck with a wildness that was more wolf than man. 

“Yes yes yes!” Buck panted, taking it. He took all of it. 

His hips were screaming at him from the angle they were stretched. His back was tightening from being practically bent in half. It hurt. God, it hurt. 

But it felt so fucking good. 

It felt right. 

It hurt the first time he shifted into a wolf. His bones had broken and shifted to accommodate the change in his body and Buck had been so scared. So scared because it’d been too much and it hurt. It hurt! 

But it had felt so right. It felt like a part of his soul that had been dormant and his wolf had awaken so Buck would never be alone. 

Eddie in him, Eddie around him, Eddie Eddie Eddie. 

Eddiepackmore                        Eddiepackmate

 mate
         mate
                   mate. 

There was no stopping it that time. Buck’s orgasm built like a crescendo in the pit of his belly. Every slam of Eddie’s hips punched the breath out of him. His teeth were a teasing threat at the base of his throat. Eddie had taken everything Buck had given and still promised Buck more. 

Buck moaned as that pleasure stretched more and more and more until he almost couldn’t stand it. Eddie’s cock filled him like Buck was made for it. Eddie thrusted into him without abandon and it was rough. Too rough. But everyone had been treating him like he was something that was threatening to break. But Eddie wasn’t. Not then. Not as he filled Buck up with every inch of his pulsing dick and stoking the embers burning in his gut. 

He almost begged. He almost begged Eddie to bite him. To make him his. He didn’t care about courting or wooing or all those things that were important to wolves. He cared about Eddie. He just wanted Eddie. 

But Eddie wanted to do it right for Buck. They’d been dancing around each other since the moment Buck’s nostrils had flared at the scent of a new wolf in his territory. He wanted to do it right whatever that meant. 

None of it mattered. His answer would always be the same. 

It would be Eddie Eddie Eddie. 

Buck tried to fight it. 

He didn’t want it to end. He would’ve stayed on his knees in the woods being pounded into by Eddie like he wanted to breed him forever if he could. 

Yes yes yes 

Eddie growled and Buck let go. 

Pleasure ripped through him as lightning raced up his spine. Hot bursts of come painted the earth beneath him as Buck let out a broken moan like a prayer. 

Eddie’s rhythm faltered as Buck clamped tight around him, his thighs trembling as he fought against his instincts and the overpowering refusal to hurt Buck. 

But there was only so long Eddie could hold out for before he was digging his fingers into Buck’s hips and fucking into him with hard, pounding thrusts. Buck was too caught up in the solar flares of his own orgasm to protest at the brutal punching of Eddie’s hips and somehow that sent a thrill through him that had his spent cock twitching too soon. 

Buck kept making noises he wouldn’t be proud of later as Eddie pistoned into him but he wanted it. He wanted it all. The strings holding his limbs has been cut and he was nothing more than a rag doll for Eddie to drag around with his teeth but he wanted more. Always more when he was with Eddie. 

Buck whimpered as he canted up his hips and let Eddie take everything. Eddie fucked into him wildly before he bit down and came deep inside him. Teeth didn’t break skin and it was in the wrong place but the indents of Eddie’s bite would stay with Buck until they did. They’d heal and fade before the night ended but Buck would remember the ache of the bite and the promise it gave him. 

Here.                                      I’m here Buck.

Here. 

Eddie thrusted into Buck even as his cum started to slip out of Buck’s hole and onto the ground. He rocked into him, stoking that fire in Buck’s soul, and it was warm. So warm. It was spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies.

It was Eddie Eddie Eddie 

Eddiemoremore.

Bite.                                                                                                   I want to bite.

More Eddie. 

And when Eddie finally collapsed on top of him, it was 

Here.                                         I’m here.

Buckpackmatelove.

I’m here love.

Love love love. 

Chapter Text

They had been kicked out of the puppy pile upon their return on account of the fact that their pack knew immediately what they had done. Buck and Eddie might not have mated but they’d stepped over a line that they’d been squarely behind for so long. It would’ve rang through the bonds that something had changed. That they had changed. 

That and the fact that they reeked of sex. Eddie hadn’t cared. He puffed out his chest and killed Buck another rabbit because he was a provider. He provided. 

That and because he maybe felt a little guilty when he saw the mud covering Buck’s torso. 

It probably was for the best though. 

Eddie’s scent was all over Buck and his wolf had been a little too pleased about that fact. Deep satisfaction had taken root in his gut fertilized by the hunger that had seeped into his soul. It’d taken every ounce of his control not to give Buck his bite, to make Buck his mate and spill out all the secrets he’d been holding inside. Secrets like how Buck was the first person he looked for when he stepped into a crowded room and how Buck’s heartbeat was the sound that grounded Eddie back down to earth when it felt like the world was spinning out of control. Secrets like how Eddie’s wolf whined whenever he thought about how Buck’s thread always strung a lonely sound whenever he got too far in his head. 

He’d almost given in. But Buck deserved more. So much more. He deserved to be shown how much he meant to Eddie. He deserved to watch Eddie prove how good of a mate he could. How he could provide and protect and be there when that lonely pluck of his bond rang in his head. Eddie wanted to show Buck that he’d never be alone. Not with him. Eddie would always be there. 

Eddie hadn’t been too willing to share Buck now that he’d gotten a taste of him. The possessive beast in his belly had grown infinitely worse now and he'd been shielding Buck from the others much to Buck’s obvious annoyance. 

Eddie ignored him. 

They ended up curled together with Buck’s wolf cuddled beneath him and Eddie resting his head on his back hunches. 

Buck smelled like him. 

Buck kissed him. 

It seemed like a funny thing to get caught up on considering what they’d done but Eddie couldn’t quite believe it either. Buck kissed him. 

It should’ve been stupid how giddy that simple fact made Eddie feel like he was a pup all over again. 

At some point, they’d shifted back and they had blindly made their way to Eddie’s room. Buck had grumbled something about Eddie pushing him around but Eddie had ignored him. His bed was bigger than Buck’s at the cabin. Technically, no one had an assigned room but Eddie’s room smelled like him and his brain had still been operating on wolf instincts. 

Buck had stopped complaining when they had landed on the bed in a tangled twist of arms and legs. Any protest left had fallen from his lips as a sigh as Buck pressed his nose against the hollow of Eddie’s throat and fell back into a deep sleep. 

Eddie had dozed with the pad of his finger caressing over the indent marks from his teeth on Buck’s neck. The skin had been marred with purple bruises but the cream color had washed away the bruising with time. By morning, the indent would disappear and any mark left on Buck from Eddie would be gone. 

Not like when they would be mated. That bite would scar and stay forever. 

Eddie hadn’t even bitten Shannon when they were together. He’d loved her. He loved her with his whole heart and no matter what his parents had said, she’d been pack; Eddie’s pack. 

But he’d been too afraid to hurt her. 

Maybe something else too. 

She wouldn’t have been the first human to be mated by a wolf. But sometimes Eddie couldn’t help but wonder if she’d even wanted it. Sometimes, he would catch the longing glances and the heartbreak that followed when she thought he wasn’t looking. But other times, Eddie thought he saw the protest already on her lips when they even got somewhat close to the topic. 

Maybe she didn’t know what she wanted. 

Eddie didn’t think he knew back then either. 

But he did know he wanted Buck. 

Shannon had been like air, fresh and clear, and Eddie had filled his lungs with her essence as it breathed new life into him. 

Eddie had loved her. 

But Buck was like sunlight. He was the beacon that guided Eddie through the dark night. He was bright and beautiful and peppermint and eucalyptus and summer rain and sunshine. He was Eddie’s daylight. 

He also drooled. Eddie woke up to his shoulder tacky and wet from where Buck had slobbered all over his collarbone. It was gross but Eddie didn’t care. Affection seized every molecule in his body and made his cheeks ache as he smiled. 

Eddie listened to the rest of the cabin for the others. 

Maddie and Chimney were still asleep judging by their heartbeats and he could hear Hen murmuring quietly on the phone to Karen. Bobby was in the kitchen but Eddie didn’t need werewolf hearing to know that. He could smell the coffee. 

As much as Eddie would’ve loved to stay in bed curled around Buck, he also desperately needed a shower. Buck did too and Eddie grimaced as he remembered that his cum was still inside him. 

They probably owed the pack an apology. 

He made quick work of maneuvering out from under Buck and checked him for any lingering damage. 

As he expected, the bite mark was gone and had been replaced by smooth milky flesh and a smattering of freckles. Eddie’s stomach dipped with mourning but he shook it off as fast as it came. 

Soon. 

Shower first. 

Buck barely stirred as Eddie got up and pulled the blanket over his shoulders but his nose scrunched in displeasure as Eddie pulled away. Eddie ran his fingers through his curls and waited until Buck’s heartbeat slowed back down into a deep sleep before he finally stood up. 

Eddie made quick work of showering and brushing his teeth before he threw on a pair of cutoffs and a t-shirt. A quick glance at the clock said they were approaching closer to lunch than breakfast but he didn’t bother getting any further dressed up. The day after a full moon was always a lazy one and he knew he wouldn’t be the only one in pajamas. 

The scent of French toast as he stepped out into the hallway made Eddie’s mouth water and he shoved a hand through his hair as he turned into the kitchen. 

“Morning,” Bobby said, sounding as tired as Eddie felt. Athena usually was the one who took care of breakfast the day afterwards and Eddie couldn’t help but wince as he remembered her absence. 

“Morning. Sorry Cap. I should’ve helped—”

Bobby waved off Eddie’s apology with his hand and set down a plate with two thick cuts of French toast and a pile of bacon that would’ve had any doctor sweating at the sight. A mug of coffee followed and Eddie’s back cracked as he folded into the bar stool to eat. 

“Buck?” Bobby asked, his head tipping as he listened for his heartbeat. 

“Sleeping.”

Bobby let out a sigh as he nodded. “Good. He didn’t get much sleep the last couple of nights.”

Not that Bobby needed to tell Eddie. Eddie had heard Buck tossing and turning even in his room. Maddie had spent the first night with him but even that hadn’t helped. 

Eddie didn’t mention that he thought Bobby could’ve used the sleep too. Bobby still thought none of them knew he’d prowled the cabin in the middle of the night, ever the watchful alpha. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. The coffee warmed Eddie up and soothed away the ache he knew was going to be with him for the rest of the day. The toast was the perfect combination of crunchy and soft with plenty of powdered sugar Eddie was sure he was getting all over his shirt. Eddie wasn’t much of a sweet breakfast kind of guy but Bobby always made something with syrup when he was missing Athena. 

Buck would love it though. 

“He doesn’t have a wolf,” Bobby said softly, his voice almost too nonchalant for Eddie to even hear at first. 

But he did. The statement was too weighted for Eddie to miss it. 

They both knew what he was talking about. When a wolf was born, their alpha gifted them a wolf of stone. It was a promise that they would be protected, that they were loved, and one day when a wolf found their mate, it was meant to be given as a promise of their own. Eddie’s sat hidden away in a box beside a silver star he didn’t believe he deserved and memories he wished he could’ve held onto for a little while longer. It was made out of obsidian and his mother had beamed when she told him the story about how his father had agonized over it for months. Obsidian broke like glass but could cut sharper than claws. She said he had picked it because he wanted Eddie to be strong. 

Eddie had sometimes thought it was because his father had wanted him to be something he was not and they were all holding their breath waiting for Eddie to shatter. 

Bobby didn’t look up from where he was cleaning dishes but his mouth was turned down in a thoughtful frown. 

Bobby shook his head. “I always just assumed…”

Bobby cut himself off as he twisted the dish towel with his hands. Eddie waited for him even though he had an idea of what he was going to say. 

Bobby sighed. “I didn’t ask enough questions.”

“None of us did,” Eddie said, shouldering some of Bobby’s guilt. “He wouldn’t have answered them.”

Eddie had a feeling Buck would’ve kept the story of his turning hidden away until it was forgotten if he had had the choice. The same way Eddie would’ve kept the silver star in the box by his wolf hidden away too. 

Bobby braced his hands on the counter and looked at Eddie. 

He looked exhausted and Eddie knew. He understood. 

“You two didn’t…” 

Heat flushed up into Eddie’s ears but he didn’t squirm. Bobby may have been his alpha too but it was more with Buck. They all knew that even if Bobby and Buck pretended sometimes like it wasn’t. 

Eddie shook his head. “No.”

“But you plan on it?” Bobby asked. 

Eddie nodded. “If he’ll have me.”

Bobby stared at him long and hard and Eddie didn’t squirm. “He doesn’t have a wolf.”

“He can have mine then,” Eddie said simply. He didn’t need one. All he needed was Buck. 

Bobby tipped his chin. “He’d guard it with his life.”

”I know,” Eddie said. 

Obsidian may look strong but it shattered. It shattered to pieces and couldn’t be fixed when it did. 

Buck would never let that happen. 

Bobby nodded once and pulled out another plate that he started stacking with French toast. Hen was on her way to the kitchen. “Good.”

And the approval bloomed something warm in Eddie’s chest. 

Chimney was pretty sure Bobby would’ve kept Buck hidden away safe and sound in the cabin for as long as he could if Buck would’ve let him. But the post full moon laziness had worn off and the others were itching to get back to LA. Chimney’s wards would’ve kept them all safe but wolves weren’t meant to be caged. 

Bobby tried to keep Buck distracted. He had him helping in the kitchen and when that didn’t work, Eddie would take over, dragging Buck off to corners unknown to do things Chimney also wished to remain unknown. 

They weren’t mated. Not yet. But Chimney knew it would only be a matter of time. It had been different when Bobby and Athena had gotten together. Bobby had already been mated to his first wife, her bite a faded mark on his collarbone that seemed to weigh him down some days. Wolves may mate for life but death had a way of giving second chances to people.

Athena had been Bobby’s second chance. She was his mate in heart, body, and soul. Athena hadn’t needed Bobby’s bite to prove that. 

Still, it’d been like a comet in their heads and Athena had been bright and vibrant and packpackpack. 

Chimney felt her cross the wards with a pull in his skull. His dragon shifted down his arm on alert as his magic twisted into his fingers. Maddie shuddered, still not quite used to feeling the pack in her chest the way wolves and witches could. Hen put down her book as something clattered into the sink in the kitchen. Bobby was already crossing the distance from the kitchen to the front door before Chimney could even finish getting up from the armchair he’d claimed for a post breakfast nap. 

Buck followed quickly, a dark mark on his throat still shiny with spit, before Eddie was pulling him back behind him with a rumbling warning. Buck rolled his eyes as he yanked on his shirt. 

Bobby opened the door just as Athena’s car pulled into the drive and Bobby practically ran down the steps to get the door for her. 

“Well,” Athena said, pushing back on Bobby’s chest enough for her to get out of the car. “That’s quite a welcome.”

She wasn’t wearing her uniform but that could’ve meant anything. But Chim didn’t need to be up close and personal to see the exhaustion in her eyes. 

Athena fell into Bobby’s arms as they wrapped around her and Bobby ducked his head, inhaling her scent like it’d been years rather than days. 

Chimney turned away to give them some privacy. 

The rest of the pack were waiting for him and it would’ve been a hilarious sight seeing a group of grown adults in pajamas like some overgrown sleepover if it weren’t for the fact that all of them had placed themselves in front of Buck. He didn’t know if any of them even noticed but Chimney knew Buck had going by the impatient twist of his frown. 

“Well?” Hen pressed. “How’d she seem?” 

Chimney opened his mouth to answer but the door opened with a whine as Bobby and Athena stepped inside. 

Athena gave them a soft tired smile and Chimney reached back to press his hand against the door seam once Bobby had closed it behind them. His magic pulsed as he charged the wards and the wolves all stiffened as they sensed it. 

“I have some news,” Athena said, cutting right to the point. 

She refused to go into anything until they were all settled and seated instead of hovering over her like a pack of worry warts. Not that Chimney could really blame them. 

The full moon had been a nice distraction but none of them had fully been able to truly relax. Not with the threat of monsters lurking in the shadows. Athena was a welcome return but she’d been missing for a reason. 

It’d been nearly four days of anxious wolves and quiet phone calls and Chimney checking his wards almost hourly. 

They hadn’t just been exhausted from the full moon. 

And as much as Chimney would’ve preferred to not know what his pack mates had gotten up to, whatever he had going on with Eddie seemed to be enough of a distraction that Buck hadn’t been withdrawing into his own head. 

Chimney snuck a glance over at Buck. Chimney had taken back his armchair but Buck had been bullied into the center of the couch with Eddie on one side closest to the door and Maddie on his other. Hen had propped herself on the armrest, her hands clenching and unclenching like she was missing the weight of her silver weapons. 

Bobby stood next to his mate while Athena sat in a kitchen chair that Bobby had dragged over for her. She pulled out a folder from her purse but kept it in her lap as she leveled a look at Buck. 

“He’s gone,” she said simply. 

Buck’s eyes were wide and blue. His eyes always gave him away though. There was confusion and hope and something painfully young that Chimney felt an ache beneath his ribs just looking at it. 

“Gone? Wh-What do you…” Buck asked. 

Athena flipped open her folder and placed down three photos. 

One was a picture of a beat up truck blowing through a toll without stopping, a blow up frame of the driver’s face tacked on the corner with stats of how fast the car was going and the time and date of the nonstop. 

The second picture was a grainy security footage from a gas station of the same man paying with cash at the counter. 

The third was a mugshot.

The implication hung heavy in the air. 

“He was arrested by Nevada State Troopers yesterday.” 

“Another victim?” Maddie guessed but Athena shook her head. 

“A blown tail light,” Athena said before she turned her attention back onto Buck. “He left California two days prior and it seems he drove until he found a forest. Wildlife wardens spotted his truck and pulled him over. Our warrant came up on their systems when they ran his license through the system.” 

Athena stopped to pull out a sheet that she handed to Buck. 

Buck took it with careful fingers, his breath stuttering in his chest. 

“His name is Cashwell Davies. He’s from Maryland. No family.” 

“No pack.” Buck finished. 

Athena nodded. 

And Chimney may not have been a wolf but he could feel the twinge of sadness from Buck. 

Buck opened and closed his mouth without saying anything at all for a while. But none of them pressed. 

Buck hadn’t known the wolf who turned him. Not really. Not in a way that mattered. 

He’d only known fear. Fear and monsters and rage. 

It had to be a lot to know that beneath the fangs and claws there was still a man. 

A lonely man. 

Chimney shot a look at Bobby and found his alpha staring back at him. 

He didn’t need him to spell out what he was thinking because the same thought was racing through his head with all the alarm bells blazing like lightning through his magic until he chest went tight. 

“Not that we aren’t grateful to our Vegas friends,” Chimney said, shifting in his seat as his dragon prickled down his arm. “But I don’t think a jail cell is going to exactly hold someone like this guy.”

Athena looked away from Buck to hold Chimney’s gaze. “I gave the sheriff a call when I got word that they’d taken him in. Apparently they are used to… particularly difficult to hold inmates.” 

Chimney didn’t quite get what she meant but Eddie did. His head jerked up as his nostrils flared. 

“Hunters?” He demanded and Athena tipped her head. 

Chimney’s stomach twisted. Hunters were no friends to wolves. Their numbers had dwindled over the years with the few fanatics and radicals spurning more and more of their people out of their way of life but they were still around. 

“I got that impression, yes,” Athena said with a nod. Eddie’s eyes flashed orange as he pushed into Buck’s space but Athena held up her hand. “I didn’t tell them anything they didn’t need to know and I made it clear that Davies was to be extradited back into LAPD custody unharmed.”

“Unharmed has a different meaning to the people who consider being put down as mercy.” Chimney couldn’t help but mutter under his breath and Buck let out a wounded noise from the back of his throat. 

All eyes cut to Buck. His shoulders were bunched up by his ears as he curled further in on himself but he was still staring at the piece of paper Athena had handed him. 

“Buck,” Athena said softly. She waited until Buck looked up at her, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “This isn’t closure. I know that. You deserve that. But this is something.”

It was more than something. It was permission to stop looking over his shoulder. It was freedom. 

But it was a lot all the same. 

Buck blew out a breath as his lip popped free. 

“I know,” he said. “It’s just…”

He stopped to look down at the paper in his hands again. 

“It’s just that… For a long time,” Buck said and it sounded relieved but also sad. “I didn’t even know if Cash was his real name. I just… I wish I could’ve done something.”

“You survived,” Bobby said and he’d been so quiet for so long that his voice startled them. “You survived, Buck. That was enough.”

Buck looked like he wanted to argue with him and Chimney only stopped himself from reaching over and shaking him because he didn’t want Eddie to snap his teeth at him. But the temptation was still there. 

Buck was supposed to die that night Cashwell Davies lured him into the forest. The fact that he didn’t was a miracle. Buck was nothing but a stockade of miracles. But even miracles had their limits. 

Chimney wouldn’t wish hunters on anybody. Especially not an omega who was already so frayed and alone in the world. But by some miracle, a broken tail light meant that someone he considered a brother could put a nightmare to rest. 

They would take what they could get. 

Chapter Text

Spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. The scent wrapped around Buck before Eddie even pressed up against his side. 

“How’d you sleep?” Eddie asked, his voice warm and perfectly aloof as if he wasn’t fishing for information he knew Buck wouldn’t share even with a gun to his head. 

But for once, Buck didn’t have to lie. 

“Great,” he said, exhaling as if to show Eddie that his lungs could breathe again. “Missed you though.”

After almost a week of Eddie practically serving as his honorary shadow and then three days being tangled up in each other’s arms, a night alone in his loft had felt unreasonably lonely. The freedom of his independence had been like a weight off his chest but Buck would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t toss and turn in his too big bed trying to chase after the warmth of Eddie’s chest. 

Eddie rumbled one of those delicious sounds before he pressed a quick kiss to Buck’s shoulder. The weight of his kiss sparked a heat up into Buck’s cheeks that he tried to hide in his coffee. 

“I missed you too,” Eddie said. He’d been just as bad as Buck had been but anyone could see that he’d missed Christopher. 

“Were you finally forgiven?” Buck asked as Eddie reached across Buck for his own mug to fill. 

“He didn’t even remember he was mad.” Eddie rolled his eyes as he lifted the cup to his lips. “He did ask why I smelled like you though.”

Buck choked on his coffee. 

Eddie was far too smug when he walked away. The asshole. 

Normality felt like a too tight shirt on his shoulders that he’d worn before. The firehouse smelled like oil and smoke and pack pack pack. The bell rang and the calls came in and they raced to each emergency with their turnouts on. 

But Buck still couldn’t help feel like he was balancing on a tightrope. One wrong step and he would teeter into oblivion. The hair on the back of his neck stood up and Buck was too tense to tell if it was just the wind. 

The others had been putting on a valiant effort in trying to remind him of what normal felt like. Bobby didn’t handle him with kid gloves. Hen snapped at him when he started to bug her. Chimney teased him without remorse. Eddie… well…

Thumpthumpthump 

Everything with Eddie was the same and yet drastically different. In a good way. In the way that made the world feel like the brightness had been turned up to eleven and there wasn’t a dark spot to stumble over. 

But everything else had gone back to normal. 

Buck didn’t tell the others he’d smelled Cash’s scent at his apartment. 

What would it have done? 

The scent had been stale; old. Nothing more than an echo that was one sprinkle of rain away from disappearing for good. 

Cash hadn’t gotten to Buck’s loft but he’d been in the parking lot. The lines of his scent had dragged up and down the pavement like he’d been stalking there all night trying to find a way past the wards. 

A cold sweat had pebbled along Buck’s skin when he recognized it. 

Pepper, tobacco, and so much rage. 

He didn’t know how a person could smell like so much rage and not explode from the pressure. 

It didn’t matter. 

Buck’s secrets had been spilled and spewed out for all the pack to see. They’d worried and fretted and now they were on their way back to normal. 

Normal would start to feel normal again. Buck just wished it would hurry up. 

The morning of their shift was as uneventful as Los Angeles could be. They’d been dispatched to a few fender benders. Buck and Eddie had to go into a condo that smelled like cat for a lift assist. Chimney and Hen had a few med calls. Overall, an easy, boring shift. 

And because Bobby was insisting on the side of normalcy that meant he had no qualms about an equipment check overhaul. Hen and Chimney had disappeared into the belly of the ambulance while Buck and Eddie had gone through all the equipment in the truck. 

Everything needed to be inspected and documented of wear and tear before either being put back into ready position, repaired, or replaced. 

Boring, tedious work that Buck usually hated. 

Usually. 

But usually, they didn’t have time to check the climbing gear. They’d taken the ropes and the kits outside to do a few exercises on the wall when Buck had taken one look at Eddie in his harness and tossed his clipboard somewhere… else. Didn’t matter. Goodbye forever. 

Buck barely heard it clatter to the ground before he grabbed onto the harness and tugged Eddie onto his toes. Eddie’s head had been down as he’d checked the straps cutting across the sharp lines of his strong hips so Buck had full advantage. A surprised noise fell from Eddie as he collided with Buck’s chest but he’d been smiling when Buck dove in for a kiss. Buck was pretty sure at least. He’d stopped paying attention to anything else when Eddie’s strong, nimble fingers carded through his hair. 

Concrete met Buck’s back as Eddie pushed him against the wall and the exhale Eddie stole from Buck was all the air left in Buck’s lungs. 

It was deep and mournful. It’d only been a few hours since they’d been able to touch one another and Buck was already so enraptured that he was in mourning of the lost hours. Hours that he could’ve spent holding Eddie, kissing Eddie, biting…

The emptiness of Buck’s throat throbbed. They had missed their window under the full moon and Eddie insisted on courting him, whatever that meant. It didn’t matter. All he wanted was Eddie. Eddie and his thousand different kisses that warmed Buck like spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. 

Buck’s mouth tingled as they broke apart gasping for air. 

“I’m still mad at you for not biting me.” Buck grumbled even as Eddie’s nose nuzzled up the length of his throat. The electricity skittered up from his toes all the way into his brain, making everything hazy and floating as he bared his neck for more. 

“You could’ve bitten me.” Eddie offered, unhelpful as he kissed beneath Buck’s jaw. 

“You had me face down in the dirt humping into me.” 

Eddie rumbled and Buck squirmed beneath him as that sound nestled into his gut. “You liked it.” 

Fuck yes he did. 

Buck wasn’t proud of the sound that fell from his lips as the truth of those words took root in his lungs and threatened to squeeze them tight. 

“I want to do this right,” Eddie said, planting a quick kiss against Buck’s lips before pulling back too soon. Buck whined as he twisted his fists in the harness to keep Eddie against him. It hadn’t been an problem though. Eddie just kissed the corner of his mouth and peppered in romantic promises before he left another one. 

“You deserve,” kiss “to be” kiss “ courted.” Kiss. 

Buck was pretty sure his brain had melted out of his ears with each sweet little word. 

“I-I don’t…” Buck’s mouth went dry even as he tried valiantly to get the upper hand again. “Need all of that.” 

“Maybe not,” Eddie said, sweeping his thumbs across Buck’s cheeks and it was so gentle Buck stunningly found himself fighting back the urge to cry. “But you deserve to know how much I want you.” 

Thump thump thump 

Buck could’ve sworn his chest was going to crack wide open with how hard his heart was hammering against his ribs. Eddie had a way of looking at him that split him in two and turned Buck into a spark that never wanted to flicker out. Like time was endless and Buck was infinity. 

It was too much, too exposed, and Buck didn’t know if he wanted to let Eddie see all the vulnerable and bruised parts that had been left behind. 

Buck tugged Eddie to him and Eddie smirked as he let himself be pulled back in. 

“You kind of gave yourself away on that front,” Buck said and was pretty proud of himself for his voice not shaking. 

Eddie rumbled again and Buck’s knees almost buckled beneath him. “And do you believe it?”

“Wh-at?” Buck breathed as Eddie tucked his nose into the hollow of his throat and rubbed his scent all over him. 

“Do you,” Eddie said with perfect, deliberate enunciation so his lips skated across Buck’s blazing skin. “Believe how much I want you?”

Buck swallowed and Eddie inhaled like Buck had just flooded him with his scent. Maybe he did. He didn’t know what he smelled like but he hoped it was like Eddie’s. 

Buck didn’t answer. He didn’t know how. 

He knew Eddie wanted him and God! Buck wanted Eddie. He wanted Eddie so much, he ached. Eddie was like a siren song that wailed in Buck’s head.

EddieEddieEddie

Here.                                               I’m here.

Here Buck.

Eddie pack mate love.                                                                                                                 Thump thump thump. 

But there was still a part of Buck that clung its claws into his self consciousness and dug in for the hard shake. It threatened to tear him apart if he pushed too hard. 

What if Eddie saw how much work it took?

What if—

Eddie brushed his lips over Buck’s and kissed him soft and sweet until Buck was almost shivering all over. 

“That’s why I have to court you,” Eddie said. “I’ve got to make you believe it too.”

Eddie was a race that Buck couldn’t keep up with. Every word out of his mouth just made Buck more and more breathless.

Buck kissed him. It was the only thing he could do. 

Buck’s knuckles ached as he released the harness to skate his hands around the curve of Eddie’s waist, still marveling at how perfect Eddie fit against him. Eddie let out another one of those happy little noises as Buck’s fingers swept into the small of his back, skimming the sweep of his ass and—

The sharp clearing of a throat could’ve been a gunshot for all Buck cared. Buck yelped as Eddie’s teeth bit down on his lip when he jumped. They startled away from each other and Buck swallowed down the mournful sound that climbed up his throat at the emptiness of his hands. 

Probably for the best since Bobby was currently standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and that annoyed tick of his jaw. 

Bobby’s eyes skated between Buck and then Eddie. “Do we need to have a talk about PDA in the workplace?”

“No Cap,” Eddie said, his hand rubbing over his lips to hide the fact that they were swollen. 

Buck’s wolf huffed in annoyance until Buck almost yanked him back over to him to kiss him out of spite for wiping—

Heat bloomed up into Buck’s cheeks as he caught Bobby staring at him. He ducked his head down and shot Bobby a sheepish grin. “Sorry Cap.”

Bobby rolled his eyes and Buck waited for the reprimand. But as soon as Bobby opened his mouth, the bell went off with dispatch giving the initial details of the call blaring overhead. 

Saved by the bell had never been more fitting. 

Buck pivoted on his heel to head for the truck but Bobby stopped him with a point of his finger to the mess of coiled ropes and climbing gear stewed across the pavement. 

“Your turn, Buck.”

“What?” Buck stopped. “Come on, Bobby!”

He knew it wasn’t a punishment. If he did the math in his head then he knew it was his turn. But it still felt like one. 

Bobby tipped his head in apology before he was running for the truck and leaving Buck behind. 

The quick kiss against his cheek was enough to almost pull him out of the disappointment pooling beneath his feet. Almost. 

But it would do. 

“Stay safe.” Buck murmured as Eddie handed him his harness. 

Eddie winked at him and it took everything in Buck’s control not to reel him back in by the back of his neck and bite him himself. It wouldn’t have done anything but it was about the principle of the matter. 

Buck watched as the truck then the engine then the ambulance pulled out of the bay before he turned back around and got back to work. 

Annoyingly, and Buck would never willingly admit it, he got a lot done without Eddie walking around hotter than sin to distract him. He checked the ropes for any kinks in the threading before recoiling them and documenting that they’d been checked. He separated a few that would need repurposing and then got to work with the rest of the clips and harnesses. Cleaning up the mess took longer than it should have but Buck had been the probie who had to untangle the cables when they’d been thrown together waiting to be stored before. He wouldn’t have wished that on his worst enemy. 

Buck kept his radio volume up as he did up some odd end tasks around the station. When he was finished, all that was left to do was to clean up the showers so Buck pretended like he didn’t know they existed and went upstairs to see what Bobby had prepped for dinner. 

The tin of baked macaroni made Buck’s mouth water instantly. It was an old favorite of Bobby’s to make when the weather got a bit too damp or when they all needed some comfort from something warm and cheesy. It was the perfect cure for the hard times. Nobody got lost in their own head while they were at the dinner table waiting for an acceptable time to ask for seconds. 

Buck scrubbed the counters and did the dishes as he listened to the familiar voices on the radio. 

There’d been an accident in the middle of an intersection downtown that had caused a follow up accident from someone who hadn’t been prepared to stop so suddenly. Bobby called for the jaws over the radio but nobody seemed too rushed in their responses which meant the injuries weren’t devastating. Accidents were brutal calls to go on but sometimes the real headaches came from just trying to get people out of the vehicles. Add in the fact that it was rush hour and Buck had a feeling he’d be the one putting their dinner in the oven to bake so it’d be ready by the time the others finished showering. 

It took Buck a second to smell it over the fumes of cleaning solutions on the counter. 

Smoke.

Thin, rancid smoke that filtered in through the open bay doors and crept up the loft to his nose. 

Buck bit out a curse as he went downstairs, trailing after the scent to investigate. Each step made the smell stronger and stronger but it was still faint. Either something small or too far away to be a threat. It wouldn’t have been the first time someone went into the pocket of trees behind the firehouse and did something they weren’t supposed to but the smoke didn’t smell like a campfire gone wrong. It smelled acidic and sour with an underlying smell that was only getting worse by the added heat. 

The dumpster. 

Buck grabbed one of their fire extinguishers and headed for the back. 

It happened more times than people thought. Cigarette buds people didn’t realize were still lit. Hazardous materials that mixed into a combustible. Batteries. A dumpster full of debris was… well, a dumpster fire waiting to happen. 

Buck spotted it as he stepped out into the late afternoon sunlight. The trickle of gray smoke was billowing into a pillow stack as more and more of the dumpster engulfed in flames. It wasn’t one of their dumpsters which would’ve been embarrassing considering the amount of flyers the department handed out to the local businesses in the community about how certain things needed to be disposed of properly. But Buck let out a groan when he recognized who it belonged to. 

They didn’t order pizza often considering Bobby meal prepped but if they did, there was one pizzeria that they avoided at all costs after one particular bout of heartburn and nausea that took them out at the knees. Even the wolves, which said something considering Buck had personally seen Bobby eat a raccoon during a full moon, had curled up in their bunks holding their stomachs. 

It just so happened that they also were neighbors which meant they tried at all costs to avoid eye contact with the owners whenever they met the pizza delivery driver from their preferred place. 

Bad pizza aside, Buck sighed as he unclipped the nozzle from the canister and ran to the dumpster. He turned his face away as he lifted the nozzle up and sprayed down into the pit, making sure to keep his skin away from the metal. The stench of trash and smoke nearly made him gag but he kept a sweeping spray of the extinguisher until the canister emptied. Burnt tomato sauce with too much oregano and something Buck could never quite put his finger on, permeated beneath the sour smell of the lingering smoke. He coughed as he stepped back, his eyes watering as he tried to see through the smoke what the damage—

Thump thump thump. 

Smoke pepper tobacco 

Thump thump thump

Rage.                                                                So much rage. 

The canister dropped with a clatter from Buck’s grip as cold flashed over him. 

“Hello little rabbit.” 

Buck yelped as he whirled around and away from the too hot breath on the back of his neck. It lingered anyway, seeping down his spine like a poison and threatening to take Buck out by his knees. 

Cash’s eyes flashed a flickering shade of red and an ugly tug pulled at something in the back of Buck’s skull, all wrong and twisted that made his wolf writhing in him. 

No. 

No! He wasn’t… He wasn’t supposed to be there! He wasn’t… 

Cash lifted his hands and all the air in Buck’s lungs disappeared. 

“You’re alright.” Cash cooed, the soothing syrupy tone all thick and awful on Buck’s skin. 

Cash looked… older since the last time Buck had seen him. Gray streaked at his temples and bled into the dark hair that had been pulled back into a ponytail. His skin around his eyes were puffy and wrinkled, sagging into his jaw where he must have recently shaved.

Wolves aged, of course they did, but they aged slower than humans. Cash looked like aging had chased after him and won.

But Cash was still tall. Still broad with wide shoulders that made Buck feel small in comparison. So small. 

Buck swallowed thickly as he backed away. He had to get away. He had to run. He had to warn the others. The…

The others were gone. Buck was all alone and he was beyond the wards. The smoke was still cloying in the air that Buck could barely smell the scent of pepper and tobacco and rage. 

Trap. It’d been a trap. 

“I just want to talk,” Cash said, slowly following after him. 

Buck’s teeth felt too big for him mouth. His skin itched to shift. If he did then he could stand a chance. He could run. He could—

“Don’t make me go inside to where those nice people are and force you to talk to me.” Cash warned and Buck stopped so suddenly, he nearly tripped on his boots. 

Cash didn’t gloat but his nostrils flared as if he was drawing in the scent of Buck’s obedience all the same. 

“Y-You aren’t supposed to be here.” 

Cash tipped his head and his eyes went dead for a moment as he murmured. “Hunters. Their arrogance is always their downfall.” 

And Buck didn’t want to think about the way Cash’s scent was getting stronger now that the air was taking away the smoke. Pepper and tobacco and rage and… blood. The sharp, tangy scent of blood. 

Buck’s claws dug into his palms as he curled them into tight fists at his sides. 

“You killed them?” Buck asked even though he knew the answer. 

“They would’ve killed me,” Cash said, his voice almost bored. “Maybe I deserved it. The wolf got the best of me for a while.” 

But then Cash’s eyes sharpened and it pinned Buck to the spot like his boots had taken root. 

“Then you came along.” Cash flared his nostrils again and Buck could’ve sworn he felt the sweat lift off his skin. Cash’s eyes flashed violet then red before melting back into violet. “Little rabbit. You weren’t supposed to be alive. I heard your heart stop. Out in the woods where lonely boys go missing all the time.” 

A sudden swell surged up into his chest as anger threatened to choke Buck. 

For a moment, Buck had had a reason for why he had to suffer through the fear and terror that had taken ahold of his heart and held it tight for so long. Cash would’ve been an omega fraying apart from his sanity. He wouldn’t have even put a thought into killing Buck. Irrationally, Buck had felt a sliver of comfort knowing that there had been an element of out of control instincts to blame. 

But Cash knew what he was doing. He had lured Buck out there and hunted Buck for sport. Not because he was a wild animal who wouldn’t have known his own name. But because Buck had been alone. An easy target. 

Buck’s lip drew back as he showed Cash his teeth. “You tricked me.” 

“Maybe,” Cash said, his voice far away before he shook his head. “But you lived. You weren’t supposed to.” 

As quick as it came, Buck’s anger faltered. Cash almost sounded… Buck couldn’t quite put his finger on it. But it coated his words as his eyes drifted up and down Buck like he was assessing him for damage. 

“Wolves aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Pack is…” The far away look again. Like Cash was drifting in another world that only he could see. “Sacred. Without pack… it all drifts away.” 

He lifted his fingers as if to catch his memories and Buck flinched before he could help himself. Cash’s eyes cut to him and Buck froze like prey that had caught and hoping the scenery would provide protective camouflage as cover. 

Cash grunted as he inhaled, stepping forward. Buck stepped back and Cash snarled something vicious and wild as his eyes flared violet again. 

People. 

There were people around. 

One wrong move and Cash’s thin grasp of control would snap in two. Buck wouldn’t be fast enough. He wouldn’t be strong enough. Not against Cash. Not against a nightmare that refused to leave him alone. 

Buck forced himself to stay still as Cash crossed the distance between them. His eyes shifted back to their normal color, grey and cold, and Buck didn’t move. Not even as one long finger was lifted against his face and trailed down his cheek to the hollow of his throat. 

“I would’ve made sure you were dead if I had known.” It wasn’t a threat. Not really, even as the chill of the words seeped into Buck’s muscles and sent his wolf skittering back. But it was a promise. 

“Wolves aren’t meant to be alone.” Cash repeated, pulling his hand away. “It starts with your bonds. They wither and rot away until they snap. It hurts. But nothing quite like when you lose your tether.” 

Maddie.

Sistermotherlove.                                                                                 Safe. 

“That frays. It erodes into something that turns into dust in your hands. And it hurts. It feels like your wolf is being clawed from inside out and you can’t stop the bleeding.” Cash’s eyes snapped back into focus and suddenly Buck was struck with the recognition he didn’t know he’d been missing. It rocked him back on his heel as the full clarity in Cash’s gaze met his and it was like Buck was twenty-three and lonely all over again. 

There was Cash. The tall, dark handsome man that had made Buck feel so seen after weeks of drifting alone. Buck had clung to that attention and didn’t look away until it was too late.

“But then your scent… it was like coming out of a fog.” Buck’s breath hitched in the back of his throat but Cash kept going. “You were never supposed to live. I never would’ve let you go through the change alone if I’d known.” 

Cash’s eyes tightened and it wasn’t an apology. But it was supposed to be something. 

Regret. 

It was regret. 

Buck didn’t know what to do with that. 

But he knew, he didn’t want it. 

“I’m not alone,” Buck said instead. It was his only act of rebellion he had. Defiance in the face of Cash’s certainty and late regret. “I found a pack.” 

Cash’s eyes dropped down to Buck’s throat; to the spot where Eddie had scented all over him that morning in his loft. 

Buck smelled like Eddie. 

That gave him courage. It bloomed in the warmth that grew behind his breast bone and blossomed into something more. Something more than a lonely kid trying to find someone in the world to see him. 

Cash may have meant to kill him but he’d given Buck his wolf instead. 

“I have a tether and an alpha and a mate. I have a pack. I’m not alone. Not anymore. Not—”

Maddie’s coffee mug slipped from her hands as a full bodied chill twisted her stomach into knots. 

Hen stumbled to a stop.                                                                                             Chimney’s magic burned beneath his veins as his dragon clawed at his forearm. 

                                                The hair on Athena’s arm stood up in a valley of goosebumps across her skin. 

                                                                                                                                Bobby grunted as his eyes flared red. 

                                                                                Eddie clutched his chest as he dropped his knees. 

Pain pain pain pain 

Pack pack pack

                                           Pain rage. So much rage. Help. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

Thump thump thump. 

Buck choked. 

The weight was too heavy on his chest. 

But that could’ve had more to do with the claws digging into him. 

Buck saw the blood. His torn flesh. The slice of his uniform. He saw it through the numbness that was whining through his senses. 

Cash twisted his hand and then the pain drew out what little air Buck had left in his lungs. 

Cash clamped a hand tight on the back of Buck’s neck and pulled him closer, impaling Buck further onto his claws. Buck scrambled to stop him. To stop the pain. To stop stop stop!

“I should’ve made sure you were dead,” Cash said and Buck pushed uselessly at him even as pepper and tobacco and rage flooded his senses. Blood was burning at the back of his throat. Cash’s nostrils flared. “But you’re my pack now, little rabbit.” 

Then his eyes flashed violet before bleeding into a deep alpha red. 

Chapter Text

“Eddie! Wait!” 

Eddie didn’t wait. He didn’t wait for the truck to stop moving. He didn’t wait for the others. He didn’t wait to hear what Bobby had to say even if the bond with his alpha went taut like a leash around his throat. He barely even waited for his turnout coat to fall to the ground before he was shifting, uniform shredding and boots flying as his body contorted and twisted. 

He was…

He was wolf.

Eddie was wolf. 

Wolf looking for Buck. 

Buck Buck Buck.

I’m here.                                                  Here.

                                                                                                                         I ’m here Buck. 

His paws barely touched the ground as he sprinted into the empty station. 

Empty. 

His scent was there. Peppermint and eucalyptus and summer rain and sunshine beneath the oil and rubber of the firehouse. But there was something else. Something other that didn’t belong. 

Bobby’s head snapped in the direction of the scent and Eddie took off. 

“Eddie!” 

The wail of police sirens echoed in the distance and Eddie knew it was Athena racing towards the station. But he didn’t stop and wait. Bobby and the others didn’t either. Eddie could feel their footsteps in the ground as they thundered behind him. 

Buck Buck Buck.

I’m here.                  Here.

     I’m here Buck.                                          

Smoke. It was a tainted smell in the clean open air. Stale and sour. It cloyed at the back of Eddie’s throat and threatened to choke him. 

But there was Buck too. Peppermint and eucalyptus and summer rain and sunshine. 

“What was he doing so far past the wards!” Chimney demanded, his medic kit slamming into his back as he chased after them. 

Buck Buck Buck 

Where are you? 

Here.                  I’m here.

                                 Here Buck. 

Then Eddie smelt it. 

The other. The wrongness. The thing that made his wolf want to claw at the streaks in the pavement he was pacing in front of until someone told him he was wrong. 

“Oh no,” Hen breathed, her eyes fixed on the ground. “That’s—”

“Blood.” Bobby snarled. 

Buck's blood. 

Eddie threw back his head and howled. 

Buck was bleeding too much. The wound in his stomach was still weeping blood beneath him and soaking into the carpet of the trunk. 

He wasn’t dying, he didn't think. But he wasn’t healing either. Wounds from alphas always took longer to heal but Cash wasn’t an alpha! He was an omega. His eyes had been violet and then… but there had been that flash of red. That alpha ruby red bled through the violet. 

But that shouldn’t have been possible. Not unless…

No. 

Buck wasn’t his. He wasn’t. 

Buck could feel him. Cash. His claws were trying to dig into his head and form a bond he didn’t want. But there wasn’t room. Not when the rest of the lines were tight and pulsing in his head. 

His pack. 

He had a pack. 

A pack he needed to get back to. 

He could feel their sorrow even from so far away. It was blue. So blue. And throbbing with anger too. 

But it was getting further and further away. 

Buck didn’t know how long they’d been driving. He’d lost consciousness somewhere between Cash dragging him out of the alley by his shirt collar as Buck clawed at his hand and the next. 

He’d woken back up to too much blood and a burning around his wrists from silver shackles tethering him to the floor of a too small but reinforced trunk. 

Buck tried not to think about who all had been in his place before, trapped by hunters and chained like wild animals. The silver was almost an unbearable sensation against the creeping numbness settling in from the blood loss. 

                             Mine

Buck bit down on his lip hard enough to taste copper in his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. 

Not yours

          not yours

                    not yours

                                 Outoutout! 

Buck’s wolf writhed and clawed at the intrusive thought trying to jab at him like a threaded needle. 

He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. 

Buck had a pack. A pack that would be looking for him. 

Buck wasn’t pack to Cash. The same way Buck hadn’t been a person to him. He’d been a means to an end. Something to scratch the itch of his feral side that was spreading throughout his veins like a toxin. 

Now Buck was Cash’s only chance at survival. Now Buck was….

A tether. 

Buck was his tether. A mooring when the wolf song turned twisted and irresistible. 

Wolves needed tethers. Maddie had always been Buck’s North Star even when she was gone. If a wolf lost its tether then a wolf lost everything. Its humanity. Its morality. Its sense of self until all that was left was a rabid shell. A withered husk of who they used to be. 

Buck had been enough to bring Cash back. Somehow. Even when it was supposed to be impossible. Feral was an incurable disease that took over inch by inch. 

Cash had been careful when he’d turned Buck. He’d meant to kill him. That had been his goal from the moment he saw him. But he’d taken Buck to the woods where no one would’ve found him for ages if at all. There had been a thread of preservation. A methodical, considerate means to keep his steadily growing uncontrollable urges at bay. Rationality. 

But now, Cash was killing openly, indiscriminately, trying to scratch an itch that would never be soothed. 

Cash had been on the brink of losing himself. And somehow Buck had brought him back. But it was all temporary. Cash was too far gone to see. 

Buck was a means to an end. 

Buck was a rabbit caught in his mouth. 

It wouldn’t matter if he was dead or alive. Not when Cash had his teeth sunk into his middle, refusing to let go. 

Buck was a tether that was warped and twisted. 

Buck was bleeding too much. 

Mine mine mine 

Let me in little rabbit 

Little rabbit 

My rabbit. 

Buck let his claws extend and tried to shatter the chain wrapped around his wrists. The silver burned all the way up his nail beds into his veins. It burned hotter than any fire Buck had ever been in. It burned and fed into the panic mounting in his chest. It burned. It burned. It burned.

He had to get away. It was the only way. Otherwise Cash was going to kill him. Whether intentionally or not, Cash was going to kill him and drag Buck around like a chewed up toy he wouldn’t let be thrown away. 

“Come on…” Buck mouthed, not even daring to utter the words out loud. “Come on!” 

But the silver bit into Buck’s skin until his wrists were slick with sweat and weeping discharge from the burns that kept healing and opening again when he came in contact with the silver. 

Buck battled with the chain until he couldn’t take the pain anymore and he let out a yell that was mingled with his own frustration. 

Rolling onto his back eased the tenderness of his belly where he was still bleeding. The skin was mending back together inch by inch but he was still caught in the wooziness of losing too much blood. 

Buck had to think. He had to get free. 

                                                                 Stay alive…

It was a whisper in his mind but it was pack… pack… pack and Buck had to swallow down the knot building in his throat. A different kind of burn pushed behind his eyes and Buck couldn’t fight it. Not then. Not when he thought it’d all been over. That he’d found a home. He’d found a pack. 

But he was alone again. 

The bonds were pulling tight in his head, in his chest, and Buck didn’t know how much farther he could go before they snapped free. 

The others would have each other. They would look after each other. And at least with Cash finally getting what he wanted, they would be safe. 

They would be safe without Buck. 

His stomach twinged as his skin knitted back together. Buck grimaced as he jolted, twisting through the uncomfortable sensation as Cash drove over a pothole. 

                                                                         Stay alive. 

Buck didn’t want to leave them. He didn’t want to die. He hadn’t then and he didn’t now but what else could he do? Staring up at the dark trunk with nothing but the sounds of the tires turning beneath him gave him nothing to work with. 

                                                                                                 Stay. Alive. 

He could shift. His paws would’ve been smaller, slimmer, and he could slip through the cuffs without a problem. Buck could feel other attachments to his shackles that Cash hadn’t wrapped around him. But if Buck shifted, he would tear open his wounds again and start bleeding out. He would heal after but he’d lose the element of surprise. Then he would’ve had to deal with the reinforced door. He didn’t have to touch the lining to know it was paneled with more silver somewhere. He was trapped in a cage with no tools to get out.

Mine.                                                                                                          Mine.                                                                                                                          Mine. 

Buck gritted his teeth as he forced Cash out. Out of his head. Out of his soul. Out of everything. 

“Get out!” Buck snarled, his teeth too big for his mouth. 

He wouldn’t let Cash latch onto him with his claws and shake him until all his bones snapped. 

The car jerked to a stop as the brakes whined and Buck thought he heard a growl. Dangerous and dark. A furious sound that rippled through Buck like a hurricane that set off a volley of goosebumps. But it was more like instinct taking over as his wolf cowed beneath the white hot pain that erupted in every nerve ending in his body. Buck yelped as he rolled with the momentum of the car and the sickening squelch of his blood under him sent him careening into the reinforced silver bars lining the backseat. The pain thundered and then electrified into a scorching sensation that threatened to take his breath away.

Stay alive 

Here Buck.                                   Here.

I ’m here. 

Stay alive 

Pack brother                                                                                                  son love

Stay alive

                                                                                         Alive  alive alive 

Fight. Fight back.                                  Stay alive. 

Here. I’m here. 

The trunk flooded with light as it was ripped open and Cash snarled down at Buck. 

“This truck reeks of hunters.” Cash spit out as he clamped a thick gloved hand onto the back of Buck’s neck. 

Buck choked out a yelp as Cash dragged him like a rag doll across the makeshift prison before pinning Buck down to the floor. He shoved in a key to somewhere beside Buck’s hands and the latch unclicked with a sharp snap . The tension around his wrists eased but Buck didn’t even get a second of relief before Cash was grabbing the slack of the chain and twisting it around his fist. 

“Let’s go.” Was all the command Buck got before he was being yanked out of the trunk and onto his own feet. 

The head rush made Buck’s knees buckle but he forced himself up knowing that if he didn’t, Cash would just drag him. 

Two things clashed into Buck’s senses all at once. 

Blood. 

He could smell it, thick like syrup that coated the back of his throat and made Buck gag. A nice, shiny new sedan sat behind their abandoned vehicle with the driver’s side door open and the driver nowhere in sight. 

Buck’s stomach twisted as his adrenaline corroded the back of his throat like battery acid. 

The second thing was the near perfect silence. 

Silence. 

No cars. No city sounds. No thundering heartbeats of a thousand people in the city. 

Silence. The wind through the trees. Pine needles and sap. Wet dirt and wildlife skittering away, unaware of the predator in their midst. 

A forest. 

The woods.

Not Big Bear. They hadn’t been traveling that long to get there and Buck couldn’t sense the magic. But there was a history in the earth all the same. Past wolves who had run and loved and sang in the trees. Buck could feel it in the air like they were caught in the exhale of the forest. 

The beauty of it was tainted by Cash’s rage. He smelled like a wildfire with a trembling in his shoulders he couldn’t hide. He was half shifting as he marched Buck back to the sedan. Dark hair sprouted along his face and disappeared only for the snarl to twitch at his lips, revealing too sharp teeth that were extending into fangs. 

He was losing control again. 

Cash jerked the chain and Buck cried out as the silver seared into his wrists. Cash’s other fist latched onto Buck’s shirt collar and ripped the material down, exposing his throat. Sharp claw points ripped through the layer of Cash’s thick gloves as he grabbed onto Buck’s jaw and forced him to look up. 

He shoved his face into Buck’s throat and inhaled. Cash sucked in mouthful after mouthful of Buck’s scent, rubbing himself all over Buck’s shoulders and throat until he smelled like Cash too. 

“You still smell like them,” Cash said, his voice sounding like gravel caught up in his throat. “I’ll fix it.” 

No. 

No no no! 

Buck didn’t want to smell like Cash. He didn’t want to smell like the wolf that haunted his nightmares for years. He wanted to smell like pack, like Eddie, and be back home where pepper and tobacco and rage, so much rage, was just a distant memory. 

Fear clogged up in Buck’s throat as he held still. Cash was losing control. He was sweating and trembling and making sharp aborted growling noises and he smelled like blood. His teeth were right at Buck’s throat where he was forcing Buck to present and all it would take would be one decisive bite to rip out his vocal cords before Cash dragged him away even as he bled out. 

Alive.                                   Stay alive. 

Buck’s lungs screamed for air. He didn’t even know he was holding his breath until his chest went tight and his heart started to hammer against his ribcage like it wanted to break free. 

Stayalivestayalivestayalive. 

Buck coiled his hands into fists and stopped fighting him. His fingertips burned against the silver but Buck forced himself not to flinch. He leaned into it, using the pain as an anchor to ground his heels into the dirt beneath him. 

Cash rumbled out a pleased noise as he scented all along Buck’s neck and shoulders. 

Mine

                                                                 My pack

p uprabbitmine

mine                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              mine 

Buck’s skin started to crawl as his flesh burned from the silver but his chest mended itself back together over the gaping wounds. Blood was still trickling down his front but it wasn’t as dire as it had been. He didn’t know if it was just how his body was choosing to heal or if the approval of the alpha attempting to claim him helped. It didn’t matter. He’d live. He’d stay alive. 

Cash pulled away and gave Buck’s shackles a tug. “Come on.”

Buck feigned his knees giving out and Cash’s impatient snarl chilled him to the bone. 

But it did what it was supposed to do. 

Cash grabbed onto the back of his neck and the grip around the chains slackened. 

Buck ripped his hands down and around before he pushed past the white hot throbbing shooting pain to grab the chain and slammed his fists onto the side of Cash’s head. 

Blood shot out from Cash’s mouth as he dropped, his wretched howl as the silver split his skin drowning out Buck’s own cry of pain as something broke in his hand. Bone snapped and pulsed with a pain that shot up his arm to mingle with the burning from the silver and it hurt. It hurt. It hurt. 

Everything hurt. 

Buck ran anyway. 

Pavement gave way to gravel and then wet ground that skidded beneath his boot and set Buck sailing down the embankment away from the road. His balance teetered from left to right and his knees protested at the sharp over correcting but Buck had to get away. He had to run. 

Stay alive. 

                                 Stay alive. 

                                                                         Stay alive. 

Buck breached the tree line as a furious ugly roar erupted throughout the air, splintering down to the earth. Buck didn’t know how it didn’t cause a split in the ground. His heart rattled in his chest, fighting against the fear that was turning his limbs into lead. 

Not safe.                                  Not safe.

Get away.

Run run run. 

The silver. He couldn’t handle the silver anymore. It felt like it was burning all the way to the bone and he couldn’t carry it anymore. He couldn’t… He couldn’t… 

Pathetic.

Pathetic stray.

Filthy pup.

Kill!

Fucking runt!                                          Little rabbit.

Should’ve stayed dead.

Kill again.

Kill. Kill. Kill.

Mine. Mine. Mine. 

The warped thread Buck wanted to snap free from pulled at his throat like a noose and Buck was too out of breath to whine. 

No. He wasn’t his. He wasn’t a runt. 

Buck…

Buck was…

Buck was wolf. 

Wolf wolf wolf.

Run. Run. 

Run from the nightmare. 

Run from the monster. 

Stay alive. 

Stay alive. 

Stay alive. 

Agony took over as muscles and bones snapped and reformed beneath his skin. His clothes tore free as he flew through the forest. The ground thundered beneath him. Pain shot up from his paw like a live wire snapping at his nerves and Buck could feel the broken bone shifting from the pressure. The blood matted into his fur from the reopened wounds on his chest but he was free and he was alive. He had to stay alive. He ran as fast as he could. He didn’t know where. He just knew he had to get away. Away meant alive and Buck had to stay alive. 

The forest trembled as Cash howled and Buck ran. 

Buck never liked to cry. Crying meant making his mom annoyed or mad or worse sad and he never knew why. No one ever explained it to him. Not even Maddie who would hold him through his tears and rub his back until the burning in his lungs didn’t feel so unbearable anymore. 

Sometimes, Buck didn’t think she knew how to explain it. 

Sometimes, Buck thought she did and that made him cry even harder. 

He stopped crying in front of people at some point. It didn’t change anything. His face that had smoothed out with puberty and turned from baby to handsome would go ugly when he cried. His lips would tremble. His eyes would burn bright red. Spit and snot and tears would fall in ugly strings he kept trying to push away with his sleeve. 

He was an ugly crier. All it did was make people upset to see him cry. So he stopped crying in front of people. He stopped crying all together. 

Buck hated when he cried. 

But he cried then. Out in the forest, surrounded by trees with no one around and a world that had seemed so big was suddenly so much louder, Buck cried then. He never knew silence could be so loud. It surrounded him and threatened to swallow him up. 

He cried as he walked through the fallen pine needles and mud, covered in blood and sweat before he dropped to his knees.

It was cold. Even if Buck couldn’t really feel the cold for some reason, it was cold. Cold enough that normally he would’ve been shivering. He wasn’t wearing any clothes. He didn’t know where they’d gone. He didn’t know where he was. 

He didn’t know where it was. 

The monster. 

The nightmare. 

The beast that had chased him throughout the woods. 

Buck was all alone. So Buck cried as he walked and walked and walked. Because he was all alone and there was no one around to upset. 

The forest was confused. Buck could feel it beneath his feet as he ran between the trees. But there was a poison chasing after him and he couldn’t stop. Stopping meant death and death wasn’t an option. Not again. There was blood matted in his fur and his front paws, still burning from the silver cuffs, threatened to give out beneath him. But Buck didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. 

Cash wanted to take him away and Buck couldn’t let him. He wouldn’t survive it. 

Fear was a potent distraction in his blood. A tunnel vision had settled over Buck’s gaze and he was more concerned with what was behind him than what was ahead of him. 

He didn’t see it coming. 

The ground disappeared beneath his paws and Buck yelped as he tumbled head first down into the river bend. The water was like ice and adding weight to his fur Buck couldn’t carry. The chill stole his breath away. The rocks beat into his body, adding more bruises that he thought he could handle. Something snapped in his paw again and the electricity that shot up his arm blared into a lightning storm of pain every time he tried to put his weight on it. Water rushed around him and Buck was lost. 

He was so lost. 

The bitter taste of irony coated the back of his tongue and he bit down on a whimper as he shifted back. Two legs would have to do. Buck held his arm protectively to his chest as he pushed himself up onto his feet and ran through the water to shore. Mud squelched between his toes as he threw his good arm above him and tried to pull himself up the embankment. It was like climbing Everest, impossibly steep for one arm and no traction. He slid back down and heaved out a snarl of frustration as he pushed himself back up, digging his claws into the dirt and the mud as he pulled himself back up onto solid ground. Rocks and sticks pricked at his vulnerable skin and Buck wanted to scream. Scream at the earth and the trees that he wasn’t the poison infecting the soil. He wasn’t pepper and tobacco and rage. So much rage. 

Buck had learned that forests were history, the past living and breathing, and Buck was a stranger surrounded by the pines and cedars and firs. 

But then Buck heard it. The dull roar of water in the distance. It pounded its echoes to cover the heartbeats. 

Buck’s heartbeat had been so loud that cold night in Montana. He thought his breathing had been louder. He’d tried to cover it up with the palm of his hand. But it’d been his heartbeat that had given him away. 

Buck knew that now that he was a wolf. 

Thump thump thump. 

He turned towards the dull roar and ran towards it. 

A waterfall. 

It wouldn’t hide him. Not for long. But enough for him to heal possibly. The water would wash away his scent. The waterfall would cover his heartbeat. 

Buck ran and ran and ran. His feet ached from the cold and the rocks that cut at his skin. His lungs burned from running. His wrist was mending slowing but that didn’t mean it wasn’t agony with every step he took. He was still bleeding. The gashes on his chest had closed more and more as the skin knitted together but he was still bleeding. Sluggish lines of blood that streaked down his stomach. 

Buck followed the river to the waterfall and tried not to think about the vicious cyle he was caught in. 

Cash hunting him. 

Buck hiding from him. 

He should’ve seen the next step i. 

The water misted into the air as it rushed over the ledge and fell into the pool at the bottom of the falls. He’d squeezed his wrist tight the entire time as the bones shifted and snapped back into place, the wet sound healing the break faster than his other injuries. He didn’t question it. Not when the alternative meant trying to figure out how to climb down a twenty foot drop one handed. 

Mine. 

Buck sucked in a breath as he turned just in time to catch the hulking wall of muscle and fur. They tumbled to the ground with an impact that could’ve rattled the earth. Sharp fangs snapped at him and Buck cried out as he just barely held Cash back from taking a bite of his face. Buck beat at Cash’s head with his fist, aiming for the still seeping burn left across his eye and his muzzle with the imprint of the silver chain stained into his skin. 

Cash snarled as Buck rolled them. Wild, frantic paws scratched at Buck’s skin as claws aimed for soft, vulnerable parts, trying to find purchase. 

But Buck was desperation incarnate. He snarled and snapped and scrambled for the upper hand. His claws came out as his teeth turned into fangs and Cash’s eyes flashed red then violet and it burned . 

Cash’s wolf dug its teeth into the sliver of a connection they shared and thrashed it’s head around until Buck could’ve sworn something inside him cracked. 

Pathetic.

Pathetic stray.                                                                          Filthy pup.

Should’ve killed you.

You are mine.                           You are mine.

Mine. Mine. Mine. 

Cash’s hind legs got up between them and kicked him in the middle, hard. 

Buck went flying. The impact to the ground was unforgiving and his ribs creaked as he rolled. The world twisted and turned into a topsy turvy kaleidoscope of colors. Green. Then red. Then black. Then white. White. White. 

It took Buck took long to realize he couldn’t breathe. The wind had been knocked out of him and his body was twitching as he choked for air. 

Air. 

He needed air! 

He needed—

The hand on his throat was cruel and Buck’s first inhale was nothing but rage. Cash’s scent. Cash’s warped, rotting scent. Rage. So much rage. 

Pinpricks of claws duck into the sides of Buck’s throat was Cash squeezed. 

“Always trying to hide from me, little rabbit!” Cash spat out from a wall of sharp, jagged fangs. He was half shifted then, with hair sprouting along his face and his claws and teeth out. But his eyes glowed violet and Buck couldn’t look away as Cash lifted him up until his feet didn’t even touch the floor. “You can’t get away from me. You can’t hide. I will always find you because you are mine. We are connected and you weren’t supposed to live but you did. That makes you mine. Mine!”

Buck kicked out as he clawed at Cash’s arm. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t speak. 

So, he did the only thing he could do. 

Buck clawed at the tether between them. Pain flared up behind his eyebrows as a headache raged in his skull. He didn’t stop. 

Not yours. Not yours.

Never yours.

Get out.                                          Get out!

Get out of my head! 

Cash howled as he threw Buck and Buck cried out as his back hit a tree. Another bone snapped. Another set of muscles begged for mercy. Blood trickled up his throat into his mouth and over his lips. Buck’s wolf whined and then so did Buck. A soft, pitiful thing from the back of his throat as he stared up at Cash. Cash and his violet eyes that flickered into red before getting lost in the feral omega that had taken over him. 

He was going to kill him and Buck didn’t think he would make the same mistake as last time. 

“You should’ve run faster, little rabbit,” Cash said before he shifted back into his wolf and lunged at Buck with his teeth aimed for his throat. 

A flash of gray filled Buck’s vision. Black fur that bled into white. 

Buck’s heart pulled tight in his chest. 

Pup brother son

Buck

pack pack pack. 

Buck watched as Bobby tackled Cash to the ground with claws and teeth before sending him crashing across the clearing. Cash bounced and skidded across, digging his claws in enough to catch himself from going over the edge. Bobby stood in front of Buck, his head down but his hackles high, as he snarled something furious. 

“B-Bobby?” Buck gasped as he stared at his alpha. 

Bobby’s ears twitched but otherwise he didn’t move. 

Cash whirled around and the rage was strong enough to nearly blind them. It was too heavy. Too overpowering. It made Buck want to lie down and bury his head underneath his arms. 

Another pull. Another tug. One that reminded him of gentle teeth nipping at his tail. Spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. 

Here.                                                  I’m here Buck.

I’m here.

I found you.                                                          I ’m here.

Buck Buck Buck. 

Eddie stalked forward with his head bowed and his teeth bared as he flanked Cash’s other side. Buck’s heart sang in his chest, racing a million miles a minute as the scent of pack pack pack surrounded him. 

Cash’s eyes burned violet as he jumped so as not to give Eddie his back. Cash snapped his head right and then left with a harsh jerk of his neck that Buck was surprised didn’t crack from the brutality of the twist. Cash looked from Eddie then to Bobby, searching for a weakness; something that would give him a way to slip under their defenses. 

Bobby tracked his every move. Eddie rumbled something low in his chest. It was a brewing storm of a sound that prodded at Cash’s concentration and Buck realized too late what it was meant to do. 

Cash’s nostrils flared once then twice like he was inhaling all the air in the cleaning but Buck knew what he was doing. He was catching Eddie’s scent. The same scent that was all over Buck just like how Buck’s was all over Eddie. 

They may not have been mates yet but there was no denying who they were to one another. 

Buck went ice cold as Cash turned on Eddie, the thrumming thread of rage tangled up in Buck’s mind flaring into a blinding overwhelming sensation that made it hard to breathe. 

Or maybe that was the broken ribs. 

Buck didn’t know. 

He was too busy staring at Eddie in horror as he curled back his lip and goaded Cash. He snapped his teeth at him and faked out a lunge that made Cash flinch. 

It worked. 

Cash launched himself towards Eddie just as Eddie had intended. 

Buck’s shout got caught on the anger that bubbled up inside of him because it was never supposed to be Eddie who threw himself in front of a danger. That had always been Buck’s job. Never Eddie. 

But alongside that anger came the even stronger pulse of love. Because Eddie was doing it for him. He was doing it for Buck. 

Maybe if Cash had been in his right mind, he would’ve caught his mistake. He would remembered. 

He wasn’t just battling wolves for a piece of meat he wanted to keep for himself. 

Bobby barely made a sound as he moved. 

Maybe if the haze of the omega wasn’t corroding at Cash’s very existence, he would’ve remembered that Bobby wasn’t just a wolf. He wasn’t just pack. 

He was their alpha and Eddie was his. 

The sound of Cash’s howl was guttural and furious as Bobby’s teeth sank into his back. The trees shuddered as their two massive bodies crashed into the ground, rolling and fighting as they snarled and snapped at one another. Eddie yipped as he skittered back before his eyes landed on Buck. Orange flared as if he’d widened his eyes and he sprinted around Bobby and Cash to take Bobby’s place in front of Buck. He paced the ground with his ears pressed back and his eyes on the fight but his tail kept brushing against Buck’s knees like a gentle caress that almost made Buck bawl. 

“Eddie,” Buck breathed and Eddie circled back to press his nose against Buck’s cheek. 

Eddie breathed Buck in once, twice, three times and Buck buried his face in Eddie’s fur as he wrapped a trembling arm around his solid frame. 

Here.                  I’m here.

I’m here Buck.

Found you.

Always find you.

Always here.

Buck

packmatelove

Thump thump thump. 

They had found him and it was spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. Clear and bright with so many stars that Buck could see behind his eyelids if he squeezed his eyes shut tight enough. Eddie smelled like him. Eddie smelled like pack. Eddie smelled like love. 

And it was all too much. 

Buck hurt but he wasn’t alone. Eddie was there. Bobby was there. He could feel the static of Chimney’s magic and he knew if he concentrated hard enough that he’d be able to hear the distant footfalls of their feet; their heartbeats. 

Buck’s chest pulled and burst with the threads of pack pack pack and they’d found him. 

Buck wasn’t alone. 

Buck opened his eyes in time to see Bobby with his claws and teeth embedded in Cash’s hind leg, shaking him viciously as Cash lunged for them. 

                                                                                 Mine. 

Buck shuddered at the hot promise as if it was breathed down his neck and Eddie pushed his weight into Buck a little more for comfort, blanketing him with his own body and shielding him. 

But it wasn’t Buck Cash was looking at. 

It was Eddie. The warped thread twisted into something sharp and possessive and all of the rage, so much rage, was aimed at Eddie. 

Eddie Eddie Eddie

Cash dug his claws into the ground and managed to twist just enough to get a leg between him and Bobby. He kicked Bobby away, not even flinching as Bobby took a chunk of fur and skin with him so that the slick metallic scent of blood filled the air. 

He only had eyes for Eddie. 

Buck felt Eddie stiffen against him. 

Buck moved first. 

Because Eddie was pack. Eddie was mate. Eddie was love love love and Buck would never let the rage touch him. 

Buck pushed Eddie away as hard as he could and launched himself up from the dirt. He shifted and dropped his head down as he met Cash mid lunge with his shoulder. Sharp claws clamped down tight around Buck’s middle and the pain was unbearable. Buck yowled, a pathetic sound of a wolf that couldn’t howl because they hurt so much. Buck hurt. 

Everything hurt. The claws dug into his stomach and pulled, slicing through skin and fur.

There was so much rage. It choked at his senses and threatened to take him under. 

Everything hurt. 

Buck hurt. 

But beneath that was spiced chocolate and bonfires and night skies. Beneath Buck’s fears was 

Pack Eddie mate love 

                                                                         Alpha

Bobby Bobby Bobby                                                  

Here.   

 I’m here Buck.

I found you.                  I’m here. 

Thump thump thump. 

Strawberry fields 

Lilacs and honey

Static like lightning 

Vanilla and human

wolf mate sister love pack 

Pack pack pack

Because Buck wasn't alone. Not anymore. 

Buck rolled onto his back and Cash yelped as his teeth unlatched in surprise. But Buck kept rolling and pushed his feet into the ground. Pain erupted along Buck’s spine as Cash tried to hold onto Buck, dragging him with him before the weight on Buck’s back disappeared. 

Bobby and Eddie charged Cash with their teeth bared but it didn’t matter. 

Because Cash bounced and then rolled and then wide violet eyes stared back at Buck as Cash fell off the side of the waterfall. 

A wolf’s song was an unique sound. It was one of pack pack pack. It served as a warning. It served as a beacon. It was a call to come home and it was beautiful. 

But the sound of Cash’s howl as he fell was an ugly thing. It was a bellow that was meant to drag Buck along with him. A snarled, mangled yowl that was a husk of what was once his wolf song. 

Then there was silence and Buck knew immediately what that fluttering in his chest was. His skin itched and the wrongness unfurled but that thread between Buck and Cash snapped. Clean. Simple. Painless. 

That last part was a lie but Buck wouldn’t realize that until the rest of his wounds healed and his heart had nothing to do but mourn. 

Chapter Text

Eddie found him on one of the Adirondack chairs with his knees drawn up to his chest and his nose buried in the collar of the hoodie that smelled like Bobby. 

He and Bobby had curled up around Buck’s wolf that day in the forest and Buck had buried his nose in Bobby’s throat and breathed them all in with a whine that seemed to tremble out of him. A whine that had been an endless quivering thing as he healed. Eddie had tried not to panic about the blood or the way Buck hadn’t gotten up. He had licked at the wounds, at Buck’s head and snout, nuzzling his cheeking against Buck’s throat, and whined his own whine as Buck’s pain echoed through their bond. But Bobby had stayed at Buck’s side and Buck had curled into their alpha as the wounds stitched back together. 

Buck had been quiet since that day. 

Not gone. Their threads connected to him pulsed, alive and whole, as Buck healed but still withdrawn. Quiet the same way he’d been quiet that night he told them about how he’d been turned, his eyes downward and voice impossible flat. 

He’d retreated somewhere in his head that Eddie couldn’t follow and he hated Cashwell Davies even more because of it. 

Eddie carded his fingers through Buck’s curls as he came up behind him and Buck hummed as he pressed into the touch. He bared his throat for Eddie’s fingers to skim down where eventually the skin would pucker and dimple with the scar from his bite and everyone who looked would know that Buck was his. His own matching scar would say the same. 

Soon. Eddie would make sure of that. 

But for now he would settle for pressing his scent on him. 

Buck shuddered as Eddie’s thumb caressed the fluttering pulse point and Eddie caught in the breathlessness of Buck’s beauty. His long eyelashes fanned across pale cheeks. His strong proud nose a straight line down his face. His plump pink lips puckered in a not quite pout. 

Buck’s scent reminded Eddie of sunshine but his face was as beautiful as the moon. 

But he was still hurting. Even after the wounds had healed. Even after they had walked him out of the woods to where Hen and Chimney had raced up in Athena’s cruiser with a blanket and medkits slung at their side. Even after Athena had assured him and then Bobby that Cash was very much dead at the bottom of a cliff. 

Buck was still hurting. 

And Eddie could’ve sworn he felt that hurt in his own chest too. It ached beneath his ribs and refused to let go. A part of him didn’t want to imagine what it must be like for Buck. Another part of him wished he could carry it all for him. 

“Come on,” Eddie said, stepping back but holding out his hand. 

Buck frowned. 

“It’s late,” he said but he took Eddie’s hand anyway. 

Eddie’s heart swelled in his chest. 

“I know,” Eddie said simply and tugged Buck up onto his feet anyway. 

They made it down the back deck steps of the cabin before Buck put up a little resistance. 

“Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see,” Eddie said. 

Buck still didn’t move. His eyes swung back up to the deck chair he’d been haunting; to the cabin full of pack where the others were sleeping. 

Buck had stayed close since that day and they had clung back just as tight. Maddie had been on the couch where Buck had left her covered with a blanket before going outside. 

Buck’s shoulders bunched up to his ears. “I’m fine.”

He was. But it was also a lie. Eddie didn’t need to hear his heartbeat to know that. Buck’s eyes always gave him away. 

But Eddie curled their hands up to his own chest and pressed them above his heart all the same. 

Buck deflated and his eyes dropped down the floor. 

Eddie pressed a kiss to Buck’s fingertips and pulled him along. 

It wasn’t a full moon yet but Eddie could feel the itch under his skin anyway. It tightened in his chest and made his throat ache with the urge to howl out his song. But it was enough to light their way. 

They walked through the woods in silence, their shoulders bumping against each other as Eddie led them through the trees into the clearing. It smelled like leaves and trees and dirt lit up with lightning from Chimney’s magic and pack pack pack. 

It was theirs, the packs, but for a little while, it was just for them. For Buck and Eddie.

Eddie bullied Buck down onto the ground and settled on his back in the grass. The stars above them winked back at them as the moon watched them. 

Eddie waited. 

Buck shifted his weight a few times, rubbing his nose against the fabric of the hoodie to take in Bobby’s scent. 

Eddie didn’t mind much. He understood. The scent of the alpha always helped settle them back onto solid ground again. Buck just needed time to remember that he wasn’t falling anymore. 

Buck curled up along Eddie’s side and pillowed his head on Eddie’s stomach, staring up at the stars with wide almost disbelieving eyes. Eddie settled his fingers back into Buck’s curls and scratched at his scalp. 

Buck sighed as he melted into Eddie and it was peppermint and eucalyptus and summer rain and sunshine. Buck’s scent wrapped around Eddie’s heart and gave him the patience he needed to wait. 

He didn’t have to wait for long. 

“It’s… confusing.” Buck admitted, his voice nothing more than a whisper. 

Eddie didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. Buck would untangle his thoughts on his own in his own time.

So he waited and kept petting through Buck’s curls. 

“He wasn’t my alpha,” Buck said slowly. “He’s never been my alpha. Bobby…”

Buck let out a breath that seemed to get stuck somewhere in his throat. Eddie pressed his fingers down into his scalp and pushed at the tension until it melted away again. 

“It was… different when I met Bobby. I didn't know how at first. I don’t think Bobby liked it either.” 

Eddie wasn’t sure he believed that. He didn’t know the Bobby from before. The Bobby that had led their pack before they had formed into one. Buck had said he didn’t smile as much. Hen said he got angry. Chimney said he used to hide. 

But Eddie didn’t think there ever would’ve been a world where Bobby would’ve let Buck wander alone again. 

“But I always sort of knew. Bobby was my alpha. He was it for me. He was home.” Buck shrugged, tipping his head so that Eddie’s fingers could skate up and down this throat again. “He… was never my alpha. Not like Bobby… B-Buut… I think I always sort of felt him too.” 

Buck said nothing for a while. He just breathed in slow, deep inhales through his nose and stared up at the stars. 

“He was like a shadow I could never escape. I could feel him trying to tether himself onto me and it was so heavy.” Buck shuddered and Eddie rumbled out a soothing noise from somewhere in his chest. 

Buck turned his head and pressed his face into Eddie’s stomach, breathing in his scent as he curled his fingers into his t-shirt. “It felt like I was still being chased in those woods and I… I was alone again.” 

Eddie sat up then. Buck’s teeth latched onto his bottom lip as he let Eddie tug him up too. But then Eddie cupped Buck’s cheeks and pressed his forehead against Buck’s. The thread between them pulsed like a wire sparking with a current that made their heartbeats race beneath their ribs. 

Thump                         thump

Thump            

           Thump

Thump                               thump 

Eddie pushed with all he could so Buck could feel just how wrong he was. He wasn’t alone. Eddie was there. He was there and he’d found him and as long as he lived, Buck would never be alone again. 

Buck exhaled and his eyes flared orange before he pushed into Eddie’s palm. 

“He was… gone. Wrong.” Buck confessed again. “But he also was the one who gave me a part of myself that I always felt was missing.”

“Your wolf was always there,” Eddie said and Buck looked up at him. “He just unlocked the cage holding him back. He didn’t give you anything.”

“But—”

“Which meant he had no right to try and take it either.” Eddie finished. 

Buck pressed a palm against his chest and rubbed. “I can feel it. It’s… it’s like a gaping hole that won’t heal.”

And oh, how Eddie ached for him. He ached for all the pain that Buck had to carry beneath the flawless skin that always healed the surface level scars. 

If he could take it all away, he would. 

“It feels wrong to mourn,” Buck said and Eddie dashed away the tear that managed to slip froom from Buck’s lashes and down Buck’s cheek. “But I can’t find relief either.” 

“What do you feel?” Eddie asked and it took Buck a long time to answer. Long enough that he didn’t know if Buck was going to. 

But then Buck said, “Blue.”

Sadness. Buck was feeling sadness. Sadness for a loss he didn’t have any say over. 

Eddie didn’t know it was possible to fall more in love with Buck but he did then. 

Cash didn't deserve Buck’s pity. But Buck was giving it to him anyway. 

Eddie slipped one of his hands down to Buck’s throat and left his scent there. He knew it wasn’t Bobby’s and to be honest, it was taking a lot of his wolf’s self control not to push off Bobby’s hoodie and blanket Buck with his own scent. But he thought it helped. Buck curled his hand around Eddie’s wrist and pressed his nose into the meat beneath Eddie’s thumb still caressing his cheek. 

Eddie knew too that it wasn’t just the grief that was lingering behind Buck’s breast bone and latching onto his lungs until he couldn’t breathe. He could read the insecurities swirling beneath Buck’s gaze like he could read his own name. 

“You would’ve found the pack even if he hadn’t turned you, Buck,” Eddie said because if he didn’t, Buck would still think he was that lost boy in the woods. 

Buck didn’t look like he believed him. “How do you know that?” 

“I don’t,” Eddie answered honestly. “But the bite didn’t make you Buck. Just like the moon doesn’t make us monsters.” 

And because he felt like it was important to say, Eddie said, “You aren’t alone in those woods anymore, baby. You will never be alone again.” 

Buck let out a wounded noise he tried to hold back with his teeth but it needed to come out. Buck needed to let it out. He fell into Eddie and clung so tightly to him, burying his nose in Eddie’s throat. Eddie held him just as tight. 

“I’m here,” Eddie said, rubbing his cheek over Buck’s hair. “I’m here.”

There was a wolf waiting for them when they got back. A big wolf with black blending into white to create soft grey fur that was swept across his massive back. His ears twitched at the sound of their footsteps and a heavy sigh fell from his snout as plumes of steam disappeared into the air. The wolf’s eyes flashed red and all Buck’s fears and anxieties settled. Not for long. But enough that he could breathe. 

Eddie squeezed Buck’s hand. 

“Told ya we’d get caught sneaking out,” Eddie said, loud enough for Bobby to hear. 

Buck squawked as he stared back at him. “It was your idea!” 

“I don’t know what he’s talking about, Cap,” Eddie said innocently and then Eddie kissed him on the cheek before he sprinted up the stairs and into the cabin. 

Neither one of them mentioned anything about the grass in his hair. 

Bobby huffed and if wolves could roll their eyes, Bobby probably would’ve. Instead he just thumped his tail once against the decking and waited for Buck to climb the steps up to him. 

Bobby stood when Buck reached the top and rubbed up against Buck, circling around his legs and curling his tail over the backs of Buck’s knees. A wet nose nudged his palm and Buck exhaled as the scent of pack pack pack washed over him. 

“I’m okay,” Buck said down to the wolf and for once it wasn’t a lie. He would be okay. 

He just would need a little more time to remember that there weren’t any monsters in the shadows anymore. 

Bobby nipped at his hand and nudged at Buck’s knees before he moved to go back inside, trusting that Buck would follow him. 

Buck’s heart thumped hard against his chest as he stared into the living room. 

Maddie had made room on the couch for Chimney to curl up around her, their hands outstretched to the ground and waiting for him. Hen had bundled some blankets to make a makeshift mattress on the floor and was scratching behind a shifted Eddie’s ears. Athena stood to the side, regal as a queen and wrapped in a satin purple robe. 

“Get some sleep, Buckaroo,” she said as Bobby brushed up against her before curling into the center of the floor. 

“Come on,” Maddie said softly, her fingers curling like she used to do whenever she woke up to him in her doorway, chased out of his bed by a nightmare. 

And Buck loved them. Each and every one of them. Their bonds thrummed beneath his skin, alive and whole and warm, and Buck didn’t know how he was able to hold so much love without imploding. 

He folded onto the ground in the center and Maddie and Chimney’s fingers immediately skated through his hair. Eddie curled up in front of Buck, brown fur thick enough for Buck to bury his face in as Bobby settled in behind him. 

“Goodnight,” Athena said before she turned off the lights and disappeared back into her room. 

And when Buck closed his eyes, all he felt was pack pack pack.