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Chapter Text

Remus groaned as he shifted on the mouldy mattress. He sat up gently, trying not to disturb his hip any more than necessary. It had been broken during the transformation two nights ago. The Wolf kept breaking it - other bones, too, but surprisingly often it was his right hip. Remus suspected the Wolf was trying to escape the chains he bound himself with during those nights. But Remus didn't care. A broken bone was still better than finding himself bleeding in the morning.

The spell he had used to fix his hip hadn’t worked as well as it could have. He had still been dizzy and in a lot of pain. It would probably take a few more days until he could walk without a cane.

He pulled himself up by the chair next to the mattress and the table that was standing halfway over him, squinting into the morning sun. The kitchen was small, but the only room that he was certain wouldn’t collapse on him. He had reinforced the beams after a section of the roof on the opposite side of the house had caved in. Calling it a "house" was a bit of a stretch - it was a ruin by now.

He groaned again when he pushed himself on the rickety chair and waited for a moment for the pain to subside. Following his stomach's cue, he summoned a package of oats and the berries he had gathered a few days ago in the forest surrounding the ruin.

It was a shame to use multiplying charms on the berries, but he also didn’t want to eat plain oats for days on end. While he was pouring water from his wand into the bowl before heating the whole thing up, he made plans on where to go next. He itched for the buzzing of a bigger city, having spent the past few years in smaller ones. Perhaps Manchester? He hadn’t been there for a while.

It was after he had convinced himself that Manchester indeed was a good choice and that he would leave after breakfast, as to not waste any more time, when he heard the small plop of an Apparition. His wand was in his hand before he knew what he was doing. He got up wincing in pain, and quickly summoned his cane before bending forwards to catch a glimpse of whoever had decided to Apparate to his small sanctuary. In the ten-plus years he had used this house as a home base for times when he had nowhere else to go and a place to spend the full moons, the only people that had ever found their way here had been a couple of lost muggle hikers.

There was nobody who knew that he used this ruin, as far as he was aware, so it was entirely possible that this was just a random stranger.

But it was not.

Remus hadn’t seen Albus in years, but he looked exactly the same as last time. His beard was still completely white, and the hat he wore had stars and moons on it. Remus slowly exhaled, and then decided to greet Dumbledore outside. He didn’t need to see the state this kitchen was in.

Chapter Text

It was almost mesmerising to watch Severus finish preparing the Wolfsbane potion. Observing him as he stirred, added a pinch of various ingredients, and occasionally waited for the perfect moment to sprinkle in a powder or gently stir in one direction to then quickly stir in the other. There was a subtle grace in the way Severus held the long brass spoon, moving his wrist just enough to cover the entire cauldron with one smooth motion. He stood, appearing completely relaxed and at the same time intensely focused, working with a level of efficiency and seeming ease that only decades of dedicated craftsmanship could grant.

Remus had been told to sit and not disturb Severus while he brewed. At first, Remus had found it awkward, being ignored like that. But after a few minutes of restless shifting on his chair, he had no desire to interrupt Severus any more.

Severus carefully placed the spoon on a small plate before picking up his wand. With a tiny and precise gesture he filled the potion into a goblet that had been standing next to the cauldron.

It was hard to believe that the man standing before him was the same person, as the awkward, ill-tempered teenager whose image Remus had held onto since their last encounter years ago.

When Severus turned around, Remus almost winced. All the grace had fallen off him. Severus’ movement had become rigid, and his lips thinned when he caught Remus’ gaze. Remus hastily busied himself with a thread on his hem. But he knew it was pointless to pretend he hadn't been watching Severus.

“There you go, Lupin.” Severus placed the goblet in front of Remus with a slight thud before sitting down at his desk. In contrast to the brewing area, Severus’ work desk was a chaotic mess of scrolls and books. Combined with the heavy fume of the potion, that made Remus’ nose itch, the jars of who knew what, placed on shelves around the heavy stone walls and the lack of a window made the room, in Remus’ opinion, rather depressing.

“Thank you, Severus,” Remus said politely, eyeing the goblet and the blue curls of smoke that he had read were characteristic of the potion. He took the goblet carefully and sniffed at it. It didn’t seem too bad, except for the tickling in his nose. He closed his eyes and downed it, nearly spitting it out. He stopped just in time and forced himself to swallow, and repeated the process until the goblet was empty. He grimaced, blinking away the moisture that had collected in his eyes. All the while Severu was watching him like a snake ready to attack. Or so it seemed to Remus anyways.

“It is rather unpleasant to drink, I hear,” Severus commented.

Remus didn’t quite know how to place the comment. Was Severus attempting small talk or was he making fun of him? His voice was quiet and level, giving away nothing.

Remus smiled politely. “It has a rather… uh- distinct taste... and texture. But what is a bit of bitter medicine…” He trailed off.

“… to becoming a bloodthirsty beast, roaming the castle?” Severus picked up the thought. There wasn't any malice in the statement, but an annoying conviction that he was right about what he had said.

Remus forced himself to smile because everything went more smoothly with a smile.

“Without the potion I would make sure I wouldn’t pose a threat to anybody, Severus, as I do every month.”

Severus regarded him for a moment. He slightly tilted his head in acknowledgement. Then he rose.

“Good evening, Lupin.”

Remus got up, revealed to be able to leave the awkwardness of the many unsaid words between them. “Good evening, Severus. Thank you for the potion.”

Severus simply nodded and pulled a book from beneath a stack of parchment rolls.

Two days before the full moon, Remus shifted in his chair while preparing next week's lessons. There was always this persistent hope that moving into another, better position would ease the pain that spread from his right hip down to his knee. But it didn’t. It never did. And yet, he tried anyway. He could already feel the pull of the moon on his body, his movements were slower, his joints stiffer.

He set down the quill and let out a long breath. After Albus had visited him in the ruined cottage in the forest in Yorkshire, he had had a whole month to prepare. But without access to the right books and the previous teacher’s notes, it hadn’t been easy to come up with lesson plans. Remus could roughly remember what he himself had learned in each year, but he wanted his students to have a less duelling-oriented curriculum.

During the past week, he had managed to make some progress in planning his lessons ahead of time. But the impending full moon and the large number of papers that needed grading were not helpful as he tried to build a buffer.

There were so many papers to grade, and each day he collected new ones. Sometimes it was nearly overwhelming. Minerva had assured him that he would become quicker at correcting them, and he very much hoped this would be the case.

But all in all, he really couldn’t complain. It was the best job he had had in years – even without the free wolfsbane potion. He enjoyed preparing the lessons, figuring out what he wanted to teach, and then trying to make it fun. He loved seeing his students' proud grins or silent smiles when they had mastered a spell or understood a concept.

The lesson plans would need to wait until later, Remus decided with a glance at his watch and stretched. He stood up slowly, feeling years older than he actually was, and left the quiet of his office to go to the dungeons. The last two times had been just as awkward as the first with long drawn out periods of silence.

Remus usually didn’t mind silence, but something felt different with Severus. He felt like something needed to be said – maybe an apology for letting Severus be bullied or maybe just some words that would confirm the grudge from their youth had been buried.

Remus stopped, when his feet had led him to a shortcut to the dungeons by pure muscle memory, which was hidden behind a painting. When he realised his mistake, he turned and took the long way around. After all, he was a teacher now, not a student sneaking out of bed. This was part of a different life, a different version of himself. Nonetheless, a memory of the four of them emerged, hiding from Lily, who had eventually tracked them down anyways. Just as she had always done when she had the opportunity to scold James about something.

Remus forced the memory out of his mind and a few minutes later, he opened the door to Severus’ office.

“Thank you, Severus,” said Remus, taking the goblet Severus was offering him. The taste had not improved. On the contrary, it seemed to have worsened. Even the smell made Remus slightly sick now. He took a deep breath and downed it.

“I think I am glad it tastes like this,” said Remus, eying the now empty drinking vessel.

“Oh?” said Severus. He offered to take the goblet back by holding out his hand.

“It’s just hard to believe that just this potion… That it will have such an effect… keeping the Wolf’s mind away.”

After Remus had handed it back, Severus cleaned the goblet with a flick of his wand and let it float back into the cupboard. He looked at Remus for a second before asking, “And a foul taste makes it more believable?”

Remus shrugged and gave him an apologetic smile. “I suppose. It’s still hard to believe, after all those years…”

Severus eyed him again. It was so hard to judge what he was thinking, and Remus was about to say something to defuse the situation when Severus asked, “Are you in doubt, that it will work?”

“I have full trust that it is brewed to perfection,” Remus assured him with a vague smile. He really did. He looked down for a second, swallowed, trying to rid the taste of the potion from his mouth. “Still, I think I will transform in the shed, just to make sure.” He looked up. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, or your brewing…”

“Losing control can be frightening,” mused Severus and then his lips thinned, as if he had said something he hadn’t meant to.

Remus opened his mouth but didn’t quite know what to say to that. “Yes,” he agreed somewhat dumbfoundedly. Severus had narrowed it down to its core. Losing control like this was frightening, and he did everything to keep at least a tiny bit of control by locking himself up and chaining himself down each month. It was all he could do.

“There are no known incidences where the potion’s effects were less than what is described in the literature, that couldn’t be attributed to mistakes in the brewing process or nonadherence to the intake recommendations,” Snape explained.

“I know. My fears are most likely unjustified. I did not mean to… burden you with them,” Remus said, not quite sure why Severus was… reassuring him?

Severus was silent for a moment. His eyes lovingly glanced over the jaws on his walls that displayed all sorts of body parts from rare and dark creatures, while it seemed he was thinking something through. “I know of a place that might be more pleasant than the shed,” he eventually said.

“What?” asked Remus.

“My quarters are connected to a closed off section of the dungeons,” explained Severus curtly. “I will ensure your safety and prevent you from harming others, if necessary.”

“Why?” Remus finally asked the most prevalent question in his mind.

“Why am I offering this?” Severus asked and drew himself up. “An… academic interest.”

“In the potion?”

“In the transformation of Werewolves in general.”

“You want to see me transform?”

“Any Werewolf would do.”

Remus hesitated. Seeing the way Severus had been looking at the grotesqueness of the specimens on the shelves like he had just done, with tenderness and fascination, Remus was willing to believe that he could find the same in the grotesqueness of a transforming Werewolf.

But still.

“We would both benefit from it,” Severus pushed and watched Remus closely for a few minutes. "You don't trust that I am indeed just curious," he finally decided. When all Remus did was avoiding his gaze, Severus drew his wand. Remus winced, before chastising himself. He was rather on edge today; probably the full moon.

Severus gave him a rather stern look before he concentrated on a complicated wand movement and said, “I hereby swear the following: I have no intention of utilising this offer to embarrass, discredit, or cause you harm in any way. I will not disclose any details pertaining to this offer to any third party or divulge any aspect of this arrangement without your explicit consent. I will ensure that no third party is adversely affected by you, should the potion fail, and that you are in turn safe from any harm, most notably discovery by a third party and physical injury.”

He made the wand movements to complete the spell, and the vow was magically sealed. Remus could feel the weight of it in the air, as if the spell wanted to make sure everybody in the room understood the importance of the words spoken.

It wasn’t an unbreakable vow, but magical vows like that usually had some nasty side effects if broken.

Severus waited a few moments for the words to sink in before saying: “I will not force myself on you with this. It is an offer, and you are free to take it. But I do ask you to consider it.”

Remus nodded. “I will, thank you, Severus. I think I should be going, it’s getting late, and I have a huge pile of work I need to get through before Friday…”

Over the next two days, Remus racked his brain trying to figure out if what Severus had offered him was more than it seemed. If not to harm or humiliate him, what could be his motive... except curiosity? As much as he tried, Remus couldn’t come up with any.

So, the question really came down to, if Remus was willing to indulge Severus in this.

It was safer for himself and most importantly for everybody else if he accepted Severus’ offer.

The only thing that kept him from agreeing was there was still a lingering feeling that he was missing something – and his pride. The thought of crying in pain, unable to control himself, as he thrashed about desperately in a futile attempt to alleviate even a fraction of his suffering. All the while naked, with nothing to protect him from the piercing gaze of the dark wells that were Severus' eyes…

Remus cleared his throat. Even though nobody was around, he still checked his office, but no surprises. He sighed and shifted slightly in his seat. He could not deny that he had liked the thought of Severus watching him like that, completely at his mercy.

He leaned back, trying to convince himself that it was the moon that had made him so excited about the scenario. When that didn’t quite work, he decided that it wouldn't hurt anybody to pursue this line of thinking just for tonight. He pushed the thought aside and rose jerkily to move to his sitting room, where he felt less guilty thinking about certain things. He sat down on his sofa and let his fantasy take over while his hand moved into his trousers.

There was a thick collar around his neck, and chains connected his wrists and ankles to the ground, forcing him to be spread out.

Severus appeared in his field of vision and put a hand under his chin, forcing him to look at his captor. He checked Remus’ eyes and then his gums by pulling his lips up and down, to make sure he was human again. Severus did not say anything but put a thick iron chain on the collar around Remus’ neck before letting the other chains vanish.

He was led up the stairs and soon after they entered the living room. All the while, Remus was made to walk on all fours. There was a warm fire crackling in the fireplace and next to it was a dog bed, big enough for him to curl up in, but Severus stopped next to the door.

“Drink,” ordered Severus, gesturing to a water bowl right next to him.

Remus knew that he would be punished if he did not comply, so he bent down and obediently licked the water. It was nice and cool, like balm on his throat that was still sore from screams of pain. He was keenly aware that his nose was only centimetres from the floor, with Severus towered over him, watching him drink in that undignified position. His gaze lingered and Remus felt naked and exposed, knowing that any movement he made that evening would be dictated by Severus alone.

That’s what did it for Remus and he felt the relief he had been after. He closed his eyes, cementing that last image in his mind and hoping it would never float up when he was around Severus.

For Remus, the full moon had always been a looming darkness caused by thunderous clouds, on the horizon of time, always in sight, always coming ever closer. When one set of clouds had passed, the next had already formed, further away maybe, but never stopping, always advancing towards him until the day he would die.

This month’s clouds, however, were different. He would keep his mind and would wake up in the morning, fully aware of the night’s events. He would still have a job, even if he took a day off to recover. There would be no questions asked when he inevitably fell ill again next month, because everybody knew what he was.

As far as full moons went, this was nearly a sunny afternoon with a mild breeze rustling through the treetops of a summery forest smelling of herbs and dried leaves.

“Have you considered my offer?” inquired Severus after Remus had finished the final dosage of the potion.

“Er- Yes, it’s a – uh – very generous offer,” replied Remus slowly. Only three hours remained before he would transform into a savage beast. Perhaps not quite as savage this time, but still a beast.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“You will watch very closely, won’t you, when I…” Remus’ head threatened to explode with every word spoken, and his bones seemed to want to spring out of the confines they had endured the last 27 days.

“See it as payment,” suggested Severus. There was not even a hint of a question or shame. It was with him watching or not at all. And it wasn’t even that it was bothering Remus too much that he would be watching, that just seemed like a necessity at this point. What bothered him was how much he had enjoyed that thought last night.

“It’s the safest course of action for all involved,” said Remus.

“Indeed, it is,” said Severus. “I will show you downstairs then.”

“It’s still hours away.”

“Will you be doing something useful in this time?” asked Severus.

“I… no, I will just… wait.”

Severus didn’t say anything so in the end Remus said, “Okay then, show me the Werewolf lair.”

Severus ignored his attempt of humour, got up and motioned Remus to follow him.

When Remus had hoped to see part of Severus’ quarters – he was dying to see how he lived – he was disappointed. There was a small corridor with two doors; Remus assumed one would lead to Severus’ quarters, while the other led downstairs to another hallway, lined with the same thick stone walls as the rest of the dungeons. There were two closed doors along the hallway and one at the end. Severus stepped through the latter, and when Remus quickly caught up to him, he found himself in a room with a cage in the middle.

“It’s werewolf proof. I added the enchantments yesterday.”

“And the cage…?” Remus couldn't help but ask.

Severus hesitated for the tiniest fraction. “The cage isn’t new.”

“Hm” Remus made, because he didn’t really want to follow that line of thought right now. Maybe another time…

“You can leave your robes and wand here.” Severus gestured towards a small drawer Remus hadn’t noticed before. Now that he took in the rest of the room, he also noticed a fireplace that wasn’t lit, a small table and an accompanying comfortable-looking armchair.

“Is this to your satisfaction?”

“Er, well as Werewolf accommodations go, it is very nice,” said Remus and couldn’t hide a hint of sarcasm.

Severus’ mouth twitched, and Remus could have sworn it was a smile.

Severus left him alone with a cup of tea shortly after. The fireplace was now warming the room as Remus placed the armchair in front of it and sank into it, welcoming the heat on his aching bones. He was rarely cold, but the heat seemed to ease the pain.

Before his departure, Severus had also offered him a book, but Remus found it difficult to concentrate on reading so close to a transformation, so he had declined. Now, he simply sat in the armchair, watching the fire, trying not to dwell on the impending night. But he couldn’t help it.

Maybe… maybe the part that he usually feared the most – the part where his consciousness was torn from his body – maybe that part would be left out tonight? He barely let himself hope.

Remus took the tea and wondered what Severus was up to. What did he do in his free time, besides brewing? He sipped the tea, but then made a face and set it aside because it tasted like dishwater. Probably the taste of the wolfsbane potion still on his tongue.

What did he really know about Severus?

Of course, they had known each other during their school days. He had initially been friends with Lily, but then he had drifted to the dark side. Did Severus truly believe in those ideals? And if so, did he now?

The other side had been gathering up the people that had felt left behind or left out and convinced them to join their ranks. It hadn’t always been the promise of blood purity that had made many people choose this side.

And then he had turned during the war. Remus had never found out why or when. Not that he had tried very hard.

Fifteen minutes before the transformation Remus heard a knock on the door and Severus stepped back into the room. Remus had toyed with the idea of simply getting into the cage, as he sometimes did in his own basement. This way, he didn't need to wait for the right moment. He could just curl up, knowing that everything he needed to do had been done. But the small slither of pride that he still called his own, didn’t allow him to let Severus find him in the cage prematurely.

“Could I have a towel, please?” Remus asked.

“For?”

“Privacy,” Remus said, trying to stay calm, through a headache that got worse by the second and had been seeping behind his eyes.

The corners of Severus’ mouth twitched again, “You do realise I will see you naked anyways, don’t you?”

“Just leave me this shred of dignity, will you?” Remus said a bit sharper than he had intended.

Severus gestured to the drawer. “Help yourself.”

Remus gave him a quick, forced smile in thanks, before turning to the drawer. Expecting more instructions on what drawer to open, he looked back to Severus. But he was busy checking the cage and wouldn’t look Remus' way. So, Remus tentatively opened the first drawer and found himself faced with what he could only describe as a wide collection of sex toys: dildos, gags, a cane and a collar with leash.

He quickly closed the drawer and looked back at Severus, who was still busy with the cage. So, Remus carefully peaked into the next drawer, which thankfully held the promised towels.

If he had any doubts what this room was usually being used for, he didn’t anymore. And part of him began regretting having agreed to this. But it was much too late to change his plans now. He wondered if the house elves knew about this room and, if so, if they ever cleaned it. Were they sworn to secrecy? He didn’t think that a room like this would be acceptable in a school setting. But then, those were private quarters. And anyways, his head hurt far too much to think.

Remus quickly took the first towel he could reach and wrapped it around his midsection after he had stripped off his robes.

Severus turned around and looked him over once, while Remus felt the towel was much too small even though it generously covered everything from his belly button to his knees. He was keenly aware that Severus could see most of his scars. He had put glamours on the worst of them, as he did with the ones on his face every morning. They would fail with the transformation, but it was better than nothing.

Severus flicked his wand at the cage to open it.

“There are still a couple of minutes left,” Remus reminded him, as he leaned against the drawer. He crossed his arms over his chest, to shield himself from Severus’ piercing eyes, while his bones vibrated in anticipation.

“I’d rather have you in there before you transform,” Severus said.

“I’m not…” Remus started but sighed, he didn't have the energy to argue, but he didn’t move either.

They spend another awkward minute not looking at each other before Remus finally walked to the cage and gingerly crawled inside. His face burned of shame and humiliation, but he had chosen it, and for a reason.

The cage was tall enough for him to sit in, but not long enough that he could lay down flat. So, he decided to lean against the bars. He had started to shiver, with cold sweat breaking out on his skin.

Severus shut the cage behind him with a decided “thud!” Remus' heart fluttered in… he didn’t even know what exactly.

Chapter Text

When Remus woke up, he found himself on the floor next to a merrily dancing fire radiating warmth from the fireplace. He cast a quick look around and found himself alone, covered with a blanket, lying on another one. The latter was softer and more comfortable than it had any right to be. Maybe a softening charm? His head had rested on the pillow he had noticed the night before in the drawer. He gingerly rolled onto his side. The familiar nagging of untreated wounds and pulled muscles was absent. Although his muscles were still stiff and protested, when he stretched.

The last night had been… interesting and very strange to say the least. He could remember everything.

When the transformation usually took away his consciousness, it didn’t. No relief from the torment of his shifting body had come, and Remus had felt it until the very end, painfully aware of each muscle and each bone ripping itself apart and growing back together in a different form. All he could do was try to push the pain away from his mind. He had found concentrating on one single thought helped – like not screaming. To his amazement, as far as he could tell, he hadn't screamed. But maybe he simply hadn't realised it.

After Remus had calmed, Severus made sure that he was still Remus by making him do some simple addition and asked him a few yes or no questions. Only then, had he opened the door. Remus’ body – the Wolf’s body – had worked differently, his muscles were connected in ways to the newly formed bones that he didn’t quite understand. It had taken Remus a few attempts to even stand up.

It had taken Remus another few minutes to get comfortable enough to make the first attempt of a step, but he had toppled over. All under Severus' watchful gaze, soaking in everything Remus did.

After a few more attempts that left him stumbling and falling over in the cage, he managed to make his way out of the cage, by crawling over the floor. It was rather undignified, but at least he was out of the cage.

The room was different, too. He could smell a lot better. Mostly Severus, the old stones, the wood of the drawer. His eyesight was worse, no colours, but his hearing was a lot better, too. There wasn’t much to hear, this far below the castle in the middle of the night, except for what he thought might be rodents, creaking from upstairs, and faint footsteps.

He tried to sort his uncooperative limps in a sitting position, and after a few attempts, at least that worked, as long as he leaned on the cage. Whenever he let his instincts try to balance him, they did the wrong things. Things that worked on his human body, but not the Wolf’s.

It was exhausting to say the least.

When Remus made no further attempts to move, Severus came a bit closer.

“Do you mind if I run a few tests? Noting… invasive.”

Remus looked up, and nearly toppled over again. He decided to lay down because there was less risk of injury and embarrassment and gave Severus a shrug, who took it as a yes.

Remus felt a few spells travel over his body. Then Severus came closer, holding a measuring tape.

Remus raised his head and tried to convey something along the lines of “Really?” with his gaze.

“Do you wish me to stop?”

Remus shrugged again, not sure what he wanted. Well, he wanted his body to function normally again. But that would still take a few hours.

He held still, while Severus measured the length of his body, his tail and his head.

“Would you mind rolling on the side?” Severus asked, and Remus sighed inwardly, but did as Severus had asked, sorting his limbs and body carefully.

Severus kept measuring, working silently but efficiently, and after a few minutes, Remus was reminded of the way he had looked up at Severus in his fantasy the other night. In some respects it made him feel the same way.

To his absolute horror, Remus realised that his mind was not the only thing that remembered: He was getting hard. He yelped a pitiful carnegie yelp and tried to turn around, but there was no way, Severus hadn’t seen it.

Severus stepped back but didn’t avert his eyes. Remus cursed him and himself.

After he had finally managed to roll back over, for his private parts to be hidden, he ignored Severus from that point on and soon after, Severus left for the night.

He had only come back shortly before sunrise to watch Remus turn another time. Then he had given Remus a potion, promising it would make him feel better. He hadn’t said anything about it making him fall asleep nearly instantly.

But Remus couldn’t argue with the results. He did feel stiff and sore, but much better than he usually did. But he also didn’t quite know how much of it was the fact that he had spent most of the night curled up, and not frantically trying to escape the chains, or whatever else the Wolf did.

Remus could hear the door scrape above the floor. He rolled around and was greeted with Severus' shoes.

“I see you are awake.”

Remus hummed in agreement, and gingerly sat up. He was still naked under the blanket, so he wrapped it around his body. He knew Severus had seen it all, but he was still self-conscious.

“Did the potion help?”

“Uh, yes, actually I feel surprisingly well,” saidRemus . “Just a bit stiff.”

“This will help,” Severus said and pulled another potion bottle from his robes. “You should probably take it in your own quarters, as it will make you tired. I could have added Roc Egg Leaves, but that would lessen the muscle relaxing effect of the Goldhorn's Root. It seemed pointless as you will rest anyways.”

“Thank you,” said Remus and took the bottle, rather in ore at how much thought Severus had put into this. “A different one?”

“Yes. Can you stand?”

“Yes,” said Remus. “uhm…”

Severus seemed to realise what Remus’ problem was and summoned his clothes from the drawer.

“Thanks…” said Remus. “Uhm… are you – uhm. Well, I hope it wasn’t too… graphic.”

“No. It was rather… enlightening,” said Severus.

Remus snorted. “I don't think many people would call it enlightening. Not even to be polite.”

“I wasn’t polite,” Severus assured him.

Remus nodded, not sure what to make of this.

“I will leave you to it then,” said Severus and left again.

Remus dressed quickly. He went up and knocked on the door to Severus’ office, but it was empty. So, he left a small thank you note on the desk which he didn’t sign, just in case someone else found it, and went back up to his quarters.

He corrected papers until the headache that had slowly built up got too much to concentrate before taking the potion. It did make him sleepy but didn't quite help against the headache. So he decided to go to bed.

When he woke up the next day, he was nearly back to normal only a slight pull in his hip reminded him of the ordeal. There were no cramps, no headaches. His muscles weren’t even sore!

The next week they hardly spoke to each other, other than polite nods and an occasional “good morning” or “good evening” when the occasion called for it.

On some level Remus still waited for the bomb to drop so to speak, for Severus to reveal his true intentions. But it didn’t drop. Not even when the first week turned into the second and then into the third.

And then there were the evenings and nights when Remus’ fantasies lead him back to that cellar, where Severus did all kinds of things to him. The items he had seen in the drawer helped his imagination.

Remus was just crawling out of the cage after the transformation back to his human form and having slept off the worst of it Severus ordered him to stand on all four and slowly caressed his ring of muscles. Severus entered him with different toys, slowly teasing him while he wasn’t allowed to move before Severus entered him and working them both up to a wonderful climax.

Or:

Severus caging him in and only occasionally taking him out, to use him as his sex toy, whipping him to a point of exhaustion, before taking him ruthlessly, not even mildly concerned with Remus pleasure or wellbeing. He was just a thing to be used. After that he would be brought back to the cage, no words spoken to him.

The thought that Severus might have shown him the contents of the drawer by design didn’t help. Because either Severus had wanted to make him uncomfortable, or he had wanted to signal he wanted more. Remus couldn’t decide which one. But when he now thought about that night, he remembered Severus’ eyes holding some kind of… want – hunger maybe. But then again, Remus wasn’t sure if he just wanted to see it.

He grumbled when he realised his thoughts had drifted off again, and got back to planning his seventh years' lessons for the coming month. Really, he didn’t have time for this. What grading paper, preparing lessons and teaching left of his time, sleeping and eating. He told himself firmly, he really should get back to work.

Still, would he agree if Severus asked? Was Severus really the best person to explore that particular interest with?

He imagined Severus sitting in the armchair after Remus had woken up. Maybe Severus was reading a book, looking at him sternly when Remus stirred, telling him to be quiet, while he read. It was the day after the full moon, and his body was still hurting like it would, without the potions he had received this month. His muscles spasmed from the aftermath of the transformation. Remus would lay at Severus' feet and try to be as quiet as possible while his muscles needed movement and stretching. On one particularly painful cramp, Remus couldn’t contain himself anymore and hissed. Severus looked down at him and ordered him to bend over his knee. Remus did as he was asked, and Severus would ask him why he was punished.

Because he had made a noise.

Why had he made a noise, Severus wanted to know.

Remus answered, because he had pain in his leg.

Severus told him that was not a good reason.

Remus agreed.

He was asked to count the times Severus let his hand land painfully on his backside. Ten times, and then he was sent back to the floor.

‘You will rest,’ fantasy Severus told him in the same tone the real Severus had said those words after the full moon, flat and factual. But then he went further and added, ‘So be quiet and stop moving as much.’

Remus promised he would be quiet and bit his pillow the next time a cramp threatened to make him whimper.

Remus sighed and looked at the half-finished lesson plan, sighed again, more heavily, and forced himself to concentrate and ignore how hard he had become.

Remus watched the Grindylow, pressing its face against the glass, making the most atrocious grimaces, but Remus didn’t care. Facing some weird facial expression from a mildly dangerous creature was nothing against…

It would be the first time they would be alone together since the morning after the full moon. Since the night, Severus had locked him up in the cage and Remus had liked it. Since he had been measured by Severus and he had liked it. Since Severus had seen him completely naked, while his body had shifted from human to Wolf and back again. And since he had shown Remus the drawer.

Had that drawer been a hint or not? Was Severus even interested in man? Even if, why should he be interested in Remus? And also, why hadn’t Severus said anything since then if he was?

In the end, Remus walked down the hallways at a brisk pace, determined to get it over with quickly. He was probably interpreting too much into this. It had been a while since he had had a partner.

A few moments later, Remus knocked and waited for a moment until he heard a lazy, “Enter,” from the other side.

“Good evening, Severus,” said Remus politely.

“Lupin,” said Severus. “The potion isn’t quite ready yet. Sit or come back later.”

Remus peered at the potion, but he didn’t know enough about potions to even take a guess at how far along it was.

He sat down, trying to look casual and relaxed, while he tried to not think about Severus like he was in his fantasies. Remus let him brew, until Severus keep gently stirring the potion every now and again, without adding more ingredients.

“You said it was enlightening,” Remus said quietly, despite his best judgement. The silence was getting to him.

Severus looked up. “Oh yes,” he said and the corners of his mouth curled up a fraction.

“In what way?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Well…” Remus said. “Most people wouldn’t describe a night with a Werewolf as… that.”

“If you must know, you are about 5% taller than the average werewolf, your muscles seem in good condition, which is interesting since you said you locked yourself up. Your teeth are in good condition, too, but you seem to be missing one–”

“I thought you meant the potion,” Remus interrupted him, his cheeks flushing. “Did it work as intended?”

“For the most part. Do you remember everything?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Did you feel any different while transforming or after?”

“The transformation was… I don’t know – I feel like I had more control.”

“That is to be expected, and after?”

“I felt better, but I'm not sure if it was because of the other potions you gave me or the Wolfsbane… or the fact that the Wolf – uh, wasn’t trying to escape.”

“It seems the potion had some side effects,” Severus said slowly.

“It did?”

“Arosal.”

“Oh,” Remus said, and blushed.

“I have been wondering where it came from,” Severus said, looking at a point on the higher end of the shelves. “There is nothing in the ingredients that would allow for such a side effect. Their interactions are well studied, and there is nothing in the literature that would suggest such a side effect.”

“I am sure you will figure it out, seeing you are… well, very well versed in potions.”

“Well versed, indeed,” Severus echoed with dry humour. “Maybe I should write a letter to Mr. Belby and ask about this phenomenon.”

“Ah, I don’t think that is… quite necessary. It worked, didn’t it?”

“I do like to understand the potions I’m working with.”

There was a long pause, while Remus tried to figure out if Severus was playing dumb or if he really hadn’t connected the dots. Remus stared at his fingers when he said, “I think the potion was fine.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “So, you are suggesting it was not the potion.”

“I am,” Remus admitted, and forced himself to breathe evenly.

“Interesting,” Severus commented. “Imagine how much confusion that could have caused in the brewing community.” Now Remus was sure Severus was playing with him.

“Yes,” Remus said weakly. He threw a glance at the cauldron. Hadn’t Severus been stirring last time? And putting ingredients in? Was it that far from being done?

Severus followed his gaze and then turned around and watched the potion for a moment. Then he put some ingredients in the cauldron, stirring it, with the same grace as last time.

“Do you think the arousal is something that was caused by the nights’ circumstances?” Severus asked.

“Uhm,” Remus said. “I cannot be sure. I have no reference.”

“I see,” Severus said. “If you had to take a guess, what would it be?”

“Er-“ Remus made.

“I for one, think there were certain aspects of the night that allowed for arousal.”

“What?” Very smooth. But Severus just raised an eyebrow as if to say, ‘You know what I just said.’

“Er – this will stay between us, right?” Remus said slowly.

“Obviously,” Severus said.

“The measuring… and – and the drawer…” Remus began. “I mean–,” he quickly added, but there was no going back.

Severus sat down behind his desk and looked at Remus, directly into his eyes. “Did its content piqued your interest?”

Remus stared at him and then took a deep breath, trying to mirror Severus' nonchalant tone, like talking about the weather. But he distinctly felt the heat rise in his cheeks, being so unapologetically stared at by those black eyes that could hide any emotion at all, and Remus wouldn’t be able to tell.

“I could certainly imagine doing… interesting things with some of them.”

“Tell me about it,” Severus said, leaning forwards slightly.

Remus opened and closed his mouth a couple of times but did not know how to actually talk about this stuff with Severus Snape of all people. But he wasn’t the same Severus he had known as a teenager, was he?

He sat across from Remus, his hands in his lab and watched Remus, who was looking anywhere but Severus. He wanted to tell Severus about his fantasies, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“It’s nearly done,” Severus commented at some point, after he had looked briefly at the cauldron.

Remus nodded thankfully.

“It is an offer, that you may ignore, you will still receive your potion every month, and I will not speak of it again.”

“No, it's…” Remus trailed off.

“Me.” Severus stated.

Remus shook his head. “No. No, you have been nothing but kind to me… And I cannot figure out why. You seem to be rather… impatient with anybody else.”

“Most people… don’t let me see them like this… naked, in the cage, looking out to me, scared of what may happen, depending on –,“ he stopped abruptly as if he had realised how raw his voice had become – to the point where it made shivers run down Remus’ back.

Remus nodded slowly, took another deep breath and said in a steady voice, “So what do you usually do with that cage?”

“Put people in there as punishment,” said Severus.

“No students I hope…”

“No, no students. Though sometimes, I would like to test, if it would lead to better results than writing lines or scrubbing cauldrons.”

“Ah,” Remus said, as if this was a perfectly normal statement. He really hoped that was a bad joke.

“I would, of course, not cage my students,” said Severus after a short pause, with a distinct air of someone who was talking to a very slow child. Severus was very good at making one feel very dumb indeed.

“Thank you, for that clarification,” Remus said, with a tentative grin.

“What would you do with a cage then?” Severus returned the question.

“Er, well it depends on how big and comfortable it is. For… Er – punishments it would probably be rather… small. But one could also … tug someone away safely… for example for the night…” Remus said, noticing how his voice got smaller against his will towards the end of the sentence.

“That is an application I could see myself making use of,” Severus said. “Under the right circumstances.”

“What circumstances?”

“If it was someone under my control, that I would be… responsible for.”

“You mean…” Remus started, but trailed off.

“Someone who would allow me to have control over them.”

“Like – Er… Master and slave?”

“Yes. Consensual, of course.”

Remus nearly nodded along encouragingly but kept himself from doing so. He had nearly hoped Severus was just a bit into spanking, but this was rather more. Remus of course had fantasised about things like this, being a slave or something similar – property. He wasn’t sure if he liked the word slave. And Severus… was he really offering that to him? And if so, did he, Remus, want that? Did he want to try?

For the first time he took in Severus as a whole, not just his hands dancing around a cauldron, or his face that seemed to always show some level of irritation. He had aged, more than the 15 years after their graduation would make Remus expect. But who hadn’t aged during the war? He was not attractive as such. Thin, a bit shorter than Remus. His long nose fitted better now that his face was lined then it had when he had been younger. It gave him character, something unique. His dark eyes were hardly ever readable to Remus, but that made them appealing, somehow. He wanted to know what lay beneath. The only thing Remus found off-putting was the hair, it was greasy, long and unkempt. Remus could vividly imagine how they would feel if he run his hands through them - fatty, and he would catch knots all the way down. But maybe a cleaning charm would be negotiable.

But aside from all that, Severus had a certain calm and confidence to him, especially when he brewed, that Remus found rather attractive.

And of course, Severus knew about his secret, which made things so much easier.

“Were you ever? Responsible for someone in this manner?”

“Not… full time. On the weekends.”

“And you would want to do something like that again?”

“Very much so.” His eyes gleamed, seeming more alive when he said it.

“What did you ask them to do?” Now Remus was leaning forwards as well.

“I would, for example, ask them to kneel before me.” Severus watched Remus very closely. “Would you like to try that?”

Remus flushed and then looked at Severus, who was in turn watching him intently. As if he could see every thought in Remus' mind. Remus looked away and said,

“Maybe.”

Remus glanced at the potion and Severus followed his gaze. “Two minutes,” he said. “Have you ever done something like I just described?” Severus asked.

“No,” Remus said. “But why me?”

“You are not… as stupid or annoying as most people.”

“Oh, thanks,” Remus said. He had the feeling it was as close as Severus ever got towards a compliment.

“So, what is it you are suggesting?”

“We could start with you kneeling before me… other things, too… if you are willing.”

“Like what?” Remus asked.

“Punishing you, if you are willing.”

“Theoretically, what would I have done for you to put me into the cage?”

Severus hesitated. “You disobeyed me… It really depends on what we agree on. Maybe you moved when I told you to hold still… Maybe you came without permission…”

Remus' head shot up and stared at Severus for a fraction of a second before he looked away.

Severus' mouth twitched, but then he frowned, and met Remus' gaze in a penetrating way. “How do you like the idea of being safely tucked away in a cage, after a long day of serving a Master, to be at his disposal, serving him in any way he requires, giving up certain… pleasures for him?”

“Er… sex?”

Severus tilted his head, clearly debating what to offer or suggest. “I like to have control over when my partner finishes.” He made a pause, and when Remus did not object, he continued. “Being trained to forgo the pleasures of the flesh to give your climaxes to your Master. He may allow you the pleasure every once in a while, when you have been exceptional in your service to him…” Severus was speaking softly, nearly lovingly now, letting the pretend go now that Remus had shown he was at least interested.

Remus' cheeks glowed and he looked down trying to figure out how he felt about that. He liked the phrasing: ‘serving’, ‘forgoing pleasure’, ‘being trained’.

“Er-“ Remus made. “So… how… how would you even know if I…?” Remus asked to buy himself more time.

“There are… ways,” said Severus and his mouth curled up in a crooked smile.

“What ways?”

“The least… invasive to your body and mind is a spell that will break when the person it is cast on is at his or her climax…” said Severus slowly.

“And what would the service entail?” Remus asked with a dry mouth. He had fantasised about some of this, not especially having no climaxes, but it did sound… appealing.

“That would need to be discussed. I would prefer if you were to offer me sexual services-“

“But you would not allow me to come every time?”

“We would discuss that. I prefer to let my submissive go long stretches of time without. It makes it all the sweeter if I allow it in the end. It’s a treasured gift from their Master.”

“How long?”

“Whatever they can take. Weeks. Months, even, if you are willing.”

Remus did not know if he was willing. It did sound very restrictive, but the thought also let his heart beat faster and most noticeably his trousers became rather tight. “What else?” he asked with a dry mouth and maybe a tad too eager.

“As I said, that depends on what you are willing to do, how much time we can spend on it… Keeping me company, chores, training… Generally speaking, to please your Master. I would take care of you. Make sure you are not harmed physically or mentally, that you feel good – safe, even. That you generally enjoy what we do. Respect and incorporate your wishes.”

“So…” Remus said to give himself time. He was certain he at least wanted to try the things Severus had described, but he was also no one who generally rushed into things.

The silence stretched and finally Severus said, “You are hesitant.”

“I – I thought about things like this… and I like the idea. I – I don’t know if I actually like all of it in reality.”

“Would you like to try it?” asked Severus.

Remus thought for a moment. “Yes, I would like to try. What if I don’t like… say being put in the cage?”

“If you are not opposed to the general idea of punishment, I would punish you in a way that does not involve cages. I usually prefer the cane.”

“And if I did not want to be punished at all?”

“Either we decide that our interests are too different, or we find a solution that is mutually agreeable.”

“Okay…”

Severus got up, to stir and add a few more ingredients and stir again.

They didn’t speak, while Severus finished the potion and put a goblet in front of Remus. Remus’ mind raced, while he looked down at the goblet for a moment and then sipped at it to give himself more time. He winced at the taste. Apparently willing to punish himself already, he let himself time finishing the potion.

“Alright,” Remus finally said.

“To what exactly do you agree?”

Remus hesitated. “Trying what you described. Maybe it’s a good idea to – uh start slowly.”

“I agree,” Severus said, and with a few curt movements of Severus' wand, the goblet was cleaned and returned to its spot on the shelves.

“Would starting with kneeling be agreeable with you?” Severus asked, returning to his chair behind the desk.

Remus stared at the desk for a moment, then looked up and nodded, swallowing the lump that seemed to clog his throat.

“Now?”

“If you wish.”

“Ok,” he looked at the door that he was suddenly keenly aware of.

Severus flicked his wand towards the door in response. “It can’t be opened by most spells now. I suspect that was, what you are worried about?”

“Claudere Maximus?” Remus asked.

“And others.” Of course, Severus had wards around his office.

Remus took a deep breath, slowly got up, moved in front of Severus and looked at him for a few moments. Severus had turned his chair to face Remus and made a short gesture to indicate for Remus to proceed.

Remus studied Severus’ face, but there was no scorn, or mockery. Just a gleam that he had seen hints of before. Was he aroused by it? Remus could certainly feel a tingle.

Finally, Remus bowed forwards to support himself and then folded his legs. A usually easy movement, but somehow, it seemed very different today.

The world looked different, he felt different. Everything had grown, he had shrunken. He was keenly aware that Severus could easily just stretch out a leg and kick him in the face. And yet he didn’t mind.

He breathed out shakily and then looked up at Severus, who spoke. “I will give you directions to correct your posture. Is that alright with you?”

Remus nodded.

“Speak up.”

“Yes.”

“Will you allow me to touch you?” Severus asked.

“Yes.” Remus said.

“With this cane? I will not hit you, only give directions.” Severus had summoned a cane that was about a metre long, thin and looked like it could really hurt if wielded correctly.

Remus thought for a second and then said, “Yes.”

“You can tell me to stop at any time,” Severus said, and Remus nodded.

“Speak,” Severus ordered.

“I understand.”

Severus leaned forwards. He put the cane on Remus' cheek and lightly stroked down to his chin. There was a shiver running down Remus' spine. A very pleasant shiver of anticipation.

“Straighten your back and shoulders, look straight ahead,” Severus ordered, removing the cane from his skin. Remus straightened up, which meant putting more pressure on his feet, and he wasn’t sure if he should lay them flat or put them up, so only his toes touched the floor. He decided for the latter. He lifted his head to look straight ahead on Severus' belly. Not an inch lower.

He could see from the corner of his eyes how Severus nodded. Then he got up and circled Remus a couple of times.

“Put your arms behind your back, hands together,” Severus ordered.

Remus followed the command. He couldn’t see where Severus was, but he also didn’t dare to turn his head, looking ahead, he swallowed again, trying to relax. He liked Severus being behind him. It was thrilling to not see what he was doing.

Kneeling on the other hand wasn’t very comfortable, not like this anyways. The big toe on this right foot protested the arrangement, and the stone floor was hard underneath his knees. He shifted around to find a more comfortable position.

Suddenly there was the cane on his shoulder. Severus had placed it there, not in a way that hurt but Remus still winced. Severus pressed it down lightly, so the message was clear: Don’t move.

Remus lay the span of his feet flat on the ground and then held still, staring at the now empty desk chair, Severus behind him, the cane a warning on his shoulder. He breathed deeply for a couple of moments, trying to fight the embarrassment and the pure terror of him doing this that had suddenly overcome him. He told himself that nothing would happen. That Severus was getting a similar thing from what they were doing as himself. And slowly his heart eased its thumping a tiny bit.

The cane lifted from his shoulder and Severus slowly circled him once more. When he was in front of Remus, Severus looked all the way down his long nose.

“Eyes front,” came Severus' command and Remus complied, with a jolt running through his body. Yes, it had been a command, there had been no hesitancy, no please in Severus' voice. The one and only thing Severus had intended with those words was for them to be followed.

He circled Remus a couple of times before sitting down and bending forwards, so he was closer to Remus’ eye level.

“How does it feel?”

“Uh… okay?” Remus said.

“Eyes front, shoulders back.”

Remus complied.

“Chin up,” Severus said and put the cane lightly under Remus' chin to make his point.

Remus adjusted his position, and he realised that he wanted to kneel. That he had been in fact craving it for most of his life.

His breaths became slower and deeper.

“Back straight, chin up, shoulders back.” Maybe it was the way Severus spoke that made Remus' whole body tingle pleasantly.

Severus stood somewhere behind him completely still, and Remus had no idea where exactly he was. It seemed minutes passed in which Remus concentrated on not looking for him, before Severus moved again. He was somewhere behind him on the right, judging by the rustling of robes, circling around. Remus looked at him without thinking.

“Keep looking ahead, do not move,” Severus said calmly. But there was still no doubt that he wanted and expected to be obeyed.

Remus followed the order, still torn between excitement, horror and arousal, fighting for dominance, coming and going in waves. Severus let him sit like this for a very long time, only occasionally correcting his posture.

“Very well,” Severus said. “Are you comfortable to undress?”

“Err…,” Remus said. He hadn’t put any glamour on except the ones on his face. He hadn’t intended to let it go this far. Hell, he hadn’t even thought… it hadn’t even been a possibility an hour ago. Only a fantasy. But Severus had seemingly wanted this as much, maybe even more than Remus had.

“You may leave your clothes on tonight,” Severus decided and Remus breathed out slightly.

His knees started to protest, and his feet hurt. He had started to get a bit restless, when Severus said, “You may get up,” so Remus did, stiffly and awkwardly. Severus gestured to the chair on the other side of the desk and Remus was glad to fall into it.

Severus was watching him intently, as if he catalogued every motion Remus did for future reference.

“Did you enjoy it?”

Remus nodded slowly. “It… it was – Er – certainly… interesting.”

“Do you wish to do it again?”

Remus nodded. There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to.

Severus’ mouth made the tiniest of twitches. “Very well. Are you available tomorrow?”

Remus shifted in his seat. “I- Well, I have rather a lot to do, before the full moon, planning lessons, grading papers… But yes, if it doesn’t take too long, I can make the time.” He finished with a smile.

“We will discuss the proper form of addressing your Master tomorrow. I do not think it will take too long.”

“So, I suppose I am not allowed to… Uhm, touch myself?”

Severus' mouth twitched again. “I don’t mind if you touch yourself, as long as you don’t finish.”

“One without the other is rather… sad,” said Remus.

“Do you want me to put the spell in place?”

“What would happen if I did… you know.”

“I would punish you.”

“How?”

“What do you think would be a reasonable punishment?” Severus asked slowly.

“Isn’t it your job to determine that?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know what you are willing to take, what would be too much or too little.” After a moment Severus added, “And I don’t think you know either, am I correct?”

“I don’t,” Remus agreed.

“Well, I suggest you simply don’t touch yourself, and this question can remain unanswered for today. Do you have enough self-discipline for that, Lupin?” He raised an eyebrow, and the way he said it made Remus very much doubt he had the self-discipline when he would be alone in his quarters later, thinking about those words.

“I’m not sure,” said Remus with a bit of a self-deprecating grin, but then he grew serious again. “After what we just did, do you really- I mean, I would have thought you would stop calling me by my surname.”

“How would you like to be called instead?”

“Well, my first name is Remus, so… let’s go with that?”

Severus considered for a moment. “How do you feel about ‘Wolf’,” he asked finally. Remus wondered if that was already a try on powerplay. Either way, Remus didn’t mind. So he nodded.

“If it's only… Uh - you know when we talk about – or do – this sort of thing,” said Remus.

“Obviously,” said Severus and let the question of what he would call Remus the rest of the time remain unanswered when he changed the subject. “As for your… self-discipline issue – Do you enjoy pain?”

Remus chuckled. “No.”

“I could cane you,” Severus suggested.

“Okay,” Remus said, “How much – or hard?”

“Not too hard, since it’s your first time.”

Remus remained silent, not sure, how much he was willing to be caned, or if he really wanted to. He did like the idea of punishment. But a cane did sound painful.

Severus watched him for a long moment, and Remus just about started to feel uncomfortable, trying to figure out an answer, when Severus spoke again “You just dipped your toe in of what it means to submit to someone for the first time. I think it would be best if we talked about this in more detail another time. This has clearly been a lot for you today, and I don’t think it will lead anywhere if we keep talking about it tonight.”

“So, no spell tonight?” asked Remus, not sure if he was relieved or disappointed.

“No, I don’t think this will be productive.”

Chapter Text

Later, Remus lay in bed and let everything that had happened replay in his head, his hand playing between his legs working himself up to an erection. For a few moments, he wondered if he should already abide by Severus' wishes—no, not wishes… orders—but maybe that would be the last time he would be able to for a while, depending on how things went from now on.

A small, removed part of his mind wondered why he was so eager to follow those orders. He couldn’t quite put it into words. It wasn't that he had never fantasised about being controlled or restrained. But until last month, he had always just pushed it aside.

He wondered how often Severus would allow him the pleasure. Of course, Severus had said it was negotiable, but he liked the idea of Severus having the last word in the matter.

Once a week would probably be doable, if he were not teased too much. Would Severus tease him and then let him go back to his quarters, making him suffer the frustration alone? Or would he watch Remus’ despair? Every time Remus would calm down, he would tease him again and again, until he was a begging mess who could think of nothing else but physical pleasure. Remus worked his hand a bit faster and finished without much effort.

Great, he thought dryly while he cleaned his hand and pants with a few spells, being turned on by the thought of not being allowed to get off.

He waited until his breathing had evened out. What would he do if it were more than a week? Maybe even a month. He wondered if he would be able to do that. Did he even want to?

It wasn’t that he had an active sex life. Not after… Marc’s horrified face, desperate for Remus to say that it had all been a sick joke, rose from his memories. It had turned from pleading to horror, then to anger, and finally to rage, after he had learned what Remus was. Because Marc was convinced that having sex with Remus would make all of his future children Werewolves, too. Because people believed all kinds of things about lycanthropy.

His sex life hadn’t been great before that, but after he just hadn’t bothered. What if someone else believed that and thought their life would be ruined like that?

But now Severus, he knew and he apparently didn't believe such nonsense. Not just that. He had seen the transformation, what he became on the full moon and he hadn’t been repulsed by it.

Still, something bothered him: Severus was so different to Remus compared to the rest of the school, going by the stories he had heard from students and staff. And Remus couldn’t figure out why. Was it just that maybe Severus was as desperate as he was?

At some point his circling thoughts quieted down and sleep took their place. But when his wand went off in the morning, he didn’t feel well-rested at all, and his mind still worked on the questions the night before had left him with.

He was overthinking again. Still lying in his bed, he closed his eyes again and told himself that it was just sex. Of course, Severus was nice to him if he wanted to get into his pants. And if Severus really wanted to harm him, he already knew a much bigger secret than Remus’ sexual preferences. Whatever happened would happen and he could as well have fun while it lasted. His time in Hogwarts was limited as it was. The board would never allow a Werewolf teaching, even though Dumbledore had said otherwise.

With that out of the way, he forced himself to focus solely on his classes until the end of the day. Thinking about sex – and that kind of sex in particular – while teaching minors was highly inappropriate. So, he put his all into the lessons, and thankfully they all turned out well.

He was particularly pleased with his first-year students. After he had given them a short introduction to what hexes and shield charms could do, he now began to introduce them to the concept of dark creatures.

Some of his first-years got quite the scare when he showed them gnomes. Not a dark creature, but he thought it would be best to start slowly and he was thankful for it when a few of the Muggle-born, who hadn’t quite gotten used to magic in general yet, yelped away from the small creatures. By the end of the lesson, all of them looked quite proud of themselves when they dared to offer food to the creatures encouraged by their friends and Remus.

“So,” said Remus, after he had downed the Wolfsbane potion a few hours later. Severus was again sitting behind his desk, watching Remus, who was rather unnerved by it. “What do we do today?”

“I gather you have not changed your mind, then,” said Severus.

“Should I? I– I quite enjoyed yesterday,” confessed Remus quietly.

“Not necessarily but there is always a chance. What did you enjoy exactly?” Severus asked after a short moment, somehow, he sounded as if Remus was an interesting specimen, rather than someone, who he was about to… roleplay? Have sex?

“Er- Not sure… having you tell me how to kneel, correcting me… being… uh, well – assertive.”

“I see,” said Severus before Remus could ask what Severus had liked. “As I told you I would teach you the correct way you are to address me today. I would also like to ask you to undress today. Is that alright?”

“Yes.” Today he was prepared.

“And I would like to give out small punishments, light hits with the cane. Is this acceptable?”

Remus nodded.

“How do you feel about insults or degrading language?”

“Uhm–,“ said Remus. “I don’t think I’d like to be insulted.”

Severus nodded. “And degradation?”

“Probably also a no.”

“Probably?”

“Depends... What would you say?”

“There are many options. That you are… incapable and need training for example. There are more extreme versions, but I doubt you would like them since you don’t enjoy being insulted. Is there anything you want me to say?”

“I suppose I would be fine with you saying I needed training. Because I’m untrained, not- not necessarily because I am incapable,” Remus offered. “Do you like insulting people like that?”

“It is not important.”

“But…,” Remus started.

“I have enjoyed it in the past. But it is not something that will hinder my ability to enjoy myself if I am unable to,” explained Severus curtly. He looked at Remus for a moment, and when Remus nodded he continued. “Would you be agreeable with me asking questions about your condition?”

“Er, ok?” Remus asked, wondering what that had to do with anything.

“I would rather you answered with a statement, not a question.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I think it should be implied, but I will ask regardless: Do you agree to being touched between your legs?”

“Yes.”

“And to be brought to a climax?”

“Yes. Wait, I thought – You’ll let me?”

“We will see,” said Severus aloof. “Do you understand the concept of safewords?”

“I can use it to make you stop whatever you are doing.” Remus answered.

Severus gave a short nod. “I will cease all activities the moment you say ‘red’. I will not punish you, ever, for using a safeword. But I will ask what caused you to use it, as to prevent whatever made you use it in the future. Again, there will be no repercussions, whatever your answer may be.”

Severus looked at him intently until Remus nodded. “Okay.”

“Good,” said Severus. “You may also say ‘yellow’ if you want me to continue in a less intense manner.”

Remus nodded again.

“Any questions?”

“No,” said Remus. The questioning and the implications of what they would do today had made him eager to start.

Severus got up to open the door they had used on the night of the last full moon. “Go ahead, down the stairs,” said Severus and directed him to the same room as last time, except there was no cage now. The chest of drawers, table and armchair were still there. The fireplace was cold.

“This will be where we will play,” said Severus. “We have more privacy here than in my office. No Floo connection for one. The change of rooms should also make it easier for you to switch roles. Down here, you will be my slave. In the office, you are free to speak your mind. Is this acceptable?”

“Yes,” Remus said. He still didn’t like the word slave, but he also didn’t have a better suggestion, so he left it be for now.

“Are you ready to begin?”

Remus thought for a moment, but then he nodded.

“Put your wand on the chest of drawers. Stand in the middle of the room,” ordered Severus. “Hands behind your back, chin up, eyes straight ahead, feet shoulder width.”

“Dressed?”

“Yes.”

Remus did as he was ordered and swallowed, his throat was dry, but his body also brimmed with excitement. He found himself slightly reassuring that Severus had been so thorough making sure he was okay with everything they would do.

Severus walked around and stood behind Remus again. He seemed to like that and so did Remus.

“Do you know what you are?”

“Your slave, uhm. Sir.” said Remus.

“And what am I to you?”

“You are my Master.”

“Very good,” Severus said as if he had solved some very complicated exercise. “You will address me as such from now on,” Severus informed him after he had circled him once, standing in front of him again.

Remus nodded.

“Speak up,” Severus said. He hadn’t raised his voice, but he didn’t have to. The way he said it was already sending shivers down Remus' spine and made him answer with a crisp,

“Yes, Sir.”

“You will confirm each order I give with ‘Yes, Master’, clearly spoken.”

“Yes, Master,” said Remus, the mouth only slowly forming around the unfamiliar phrase.

“You will answer questions as succinctly as possible. If I ask a polar question, you will answer with ‘Yes, Master’ or ‘No, Master.’ Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Undress,” ordered Severus and stepped back to watch him.

Remus instinctively turned away, until he felt the cane on his cheek. He stopped mid-motion, his hands awkwardly on the way to the top bottom, waiting for Severus’ order. His whole body tingled when it really sank in that Severus was in charge now. A jolt of excitement ran through him.

“Stand straight, eyes in front. I have seen it all anyways,” Severus informed him.

“Yes, Master,” he said weakly.

“Speak loud and clearly and watch your posture.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said more forcefully. He straightened up and undressed as much as he could without bending forward, letting gravity work in his favour. He was painfully aware of how often his robes had been patched as he let them drop, unable to get rid of them fully without leaving position. He usually repaired the outside as best he could, but he never bothered to make the inside look nice.

His robes had gathered around his ankles, and his trousers and shorts hung somewhere between his hips and his knees. Severus let him stand like this for a while. Remus’ cheeks must have burned bright red, judging by the heat they seemed to radiate.

He had covered up the worst of his scars with glamours but was very sure, Severus knew the spells were there. But thankfully, he didn’t comment. Still, he hated being seen naked, fully displayed like that. Usually. He was still uncomfortable, but if anything, it enhanced the experience right at this moment.

Severus slowly moved the cane to Remus midsection and lifted it up, half stiff as it was and let it fall back. Remus concentrated on standing still and not looking at Severus, staring straight ahead, as he had been ordered to do.

“You may remove the rest of your clothing,” said Severus, after he had caressed Remus' now erection with the cane a second time.

“Yes, Master,” he said, making sure to not mumble the words and bend forwards.

“Fold your clothes and put them over there.” Severus nodded to the chest of drawers.

“Yes, Master,” said Remus and slowly getting used to the phrase, he found it came easier.

Now he stood, completely naked, his hands behind his back, head held high. Severus could see everything. As Severus had said, he had seen it all last full moon anyways, but Remus still had to fight the urge to turn away and hide.

Severus let him stand like that again for a few minutes, and Remus used the time to slow his breathing. Then Severus slowly ran his hand over Remus’ chest and belly.

“You will not come until I allow you to.”

“Yes, Master.”

He slowly made his way down and stroked with his hand over Remus’ erection, who shuddered and sighed.

“Do you want me to continue?”

“Yes please, Master.”

Severus removed his hand. “How do you answer questions?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Better.”

He stroked down the shaft two times, teasingly slow, rubbing against the top, and making Remus gasp.

“Shoulders back,” Severus said sharply.

“Yes, Master.”

The cane was in Severus' hand again, and he used it to stroke Remus chest and belly, a constant reminder to keep his posture, or else.

“Touch yourself.”

“Touch…”

“Touch. Yourself,” repeated Severus.

“Yes, Master,” said Remus trying to sound impassive, but he didn’t quite manage. He slowly and carefully closed one hand around his shaft.

“The other hand on your back,”

“Yes, Master.”

He wasn’t sure what Severus expected of him, so he started slowly moving the hand up and down and then got a bit more playful and eventually faster.

“Stop.”

Remus took a deep breath and forced his hand away. He really hadn’t thought it would be this easy.

“Hands out, palm up,” said Severus.

“Yes, Master.”

“Do you know why you are being punished?”

“No, Ma- ah. I forgot to acknowledge the command to stop with ‘Yes, Master’” Remus said. “Master.”

“Well done. You also showed irritation with a command of mine. I will not tolerate this behaviour,” said Severus. “One hit should suffice for now.”

“Yes, Master.”

Severus rested the stick on his fingers and Remus closed his eyes, waiting. The cane lifted and then hit his fingers.

Remus hissed and he reflexively retracted his hands and held the fingers on his right hand, which had been hit hardest. After a moment, he realised that it hadn’t hurt and he let his hands fall to the side.

“We will work on you taking punishments more gracefully in the future,” commented Severus.

“I’m sorry.” Remus breathed. Not wanting to and really wanting to know how that would look at the same time.

“I’m sorry, Master.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, Master,” echoed Remus.

“Hands.”

“Yes, Master,” said Remus and put his hands up again. This time he was more prepared and didn’t make a sound, but he did flinch.

“Better. Stand straight.”

“Yes, Master,” said Remus and put his hands behind his back and straightened his shoulders.

“Four days until the full moon,” stated Severus. “Explain how your physical condition will change until then.”

Remus sighed inwardly. Most of his mind was still on the punishment he had just received, while his midsection sent him very clear instructions on what it wanted him to do, so he needed a moment before he could focus enough to form a coherent enough thought to answer.

“Er– well usually I just feel a bit tired a few days before. One or two days before I feel like I’m falling sick, er– muscle pain, fatigue and the like and the evening of the full moon it just gets worse, my temperature rises, cold sweat, headaches… that sort of thing– Master. But I am also a bit restless,” Remus added after a short break. Remus was sure Severus knew this all. He was just making Remus wait.

“And after the transformation?”

“I mostly just need to recover. Muscle pains, sometimes spasms, exhaustion and whatever injury I found myself with in the morning.”

“Is your appetite affected?”

“I'm hungrier than usual after the transformation, Master.”

“Sleep?”

“Usually, I am tired from the transformation, but I don’t sleep more before, Master.”

“Libido?”

“It is a bit stronger around the full moon,” said Remus, remembering to be concise.

Severus raised an eyebrow and Remus added, “Master.”

“Hands.”

Another hit on his hands, this time slightly harder, but still not painful.

“Stand properly,” Severus ordered and continued when Remus had put his hands behind his back. “Are those symptoms present while you are transformed?”

“I usually don’t remember very well, only bits and pieces, you see,” Remus said. “But I can't remember a time I felt tired or in pain while transformed, except of course injuries. Last month I was rather… energetic, actually, Master. All of the other symptoms were on the lighter side. I wonder if that had something to do with the potion…”

“It should not,” said Severus. “So you felt more energetic than usual?”

Remus shrugged. “I don't think so. But again, I can hardly remember anything when I transform without the potion.”

Severus nodded and seemed to think about the information. “Very well. Kneel.”

Severus moved the armchair in front of Remus and sat down. He crossed his legs, leaning back as if he was about to settle in for a long chat with a friend. Then he corrected Remus' posture until he was satisfied.

“Touch yourself. I will tell you when you are allowed to finish. There will be no begging, no ‘please, Master’ and the like. I am the only one who decides when you climax. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, looking up at his Master. The words already working wonders to get him back into the mood.

“Begin.”

“Do you- er want me to uhm– exaggerate a bit?”

Severus raised an eyebrow and Remus hastily added, “Master.”

“No.”

So, Remus started touching himself again in front of Severus' eyes, that seemed to give nothing away. First slowly, and then getting faster, he looked up at Severus again. He still sat in the same position but had intertwined his fingers, while both elbows rested on either side of the armrests. He watched closely, but his face was composed as always – which turned Remus on quite a bit.

“Faster,” Severus said after a while and Remus complied until he was ready to come. He looked up at Severus, but he didn’t move, still just looked at him. Remus slowed down. He had fallen forward. Which was good, because he now could busy himself with correcting his posture more than tending to his aching – begging – midsection.

“Keep the pace,” Severus said, and Remus picked it up again but worked it so it wasn’t as stimulating, his grip loosening slightly, but he was more than ready to come. He started to breathe in slowly to calm himself, ready to plead, but he bit his tongue.

“Come,” his Master finally commanded after what felt like an eternity, and Remus erupted before Severus had quite finished the word. He breathed heavily, now leaning on both arms, though one hand just touched the ground with the side, the rest was smeared with sperm, as was his belly and legs, and some of it had dripped on the ground between his legs.

He looked up and half expected Severus to massage his own midsection, but he had not moved an inch. Remus felt his cheeks flush and hastily looked away.

“Stand,” Severus said, and Remus did, keenly aware that some of the sperm was making its way down his belly and legs slowly. He had never been so embarrassed and so turned on at the same time.

Severus’ gaze went up and down once, taking in every detail of Remus' body. “What do you say when your Master allows you pleasure like this?”

“Er- Thank you, Master,” Remus said.

“You are welcome, Wolf. Remember, from now on, you will only come when I allow it.”

“Yes, Master, thank you, Master,” Remus said.

“Now, we don’t have time for more, so I suggest you clean yourself and the floor. You may use your wand.”

“Yes, Master.”

“I will wait for you in my office.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Did you enjoy yourself?” asked Severus after he had put a cup of tea in front of Remus. It hadn’t been the aftertaste of the Wolfsbane last time. Severus just seemed to be very bad at making tea, but Remus sipped at it anyway, mostly to give himself something to do.

“Yes, it was… I have never felt like that.”

“Like what?”

“So… exposed, controlled… It was a bit humiliating to come when you just sat there and watched me. I think I liked that, too.” said Remus to his teacup. “Did you like it?” Remus asked and looked up.

“I did,” said Severus, and now Severus seemed to allow himself what he hadn’t while they had been downstairs. The hunger for more, the desire, swung in his words, Remus could even see it in his usually impassive face.

“You didn’t show it, moved or… did other things.”

“No. I enjoyed watching you all the same,” Severus assured. “Does it bother you?”

“I–,” Remus said. “Uhm, I mean if it is what makes you… happy I don’t mind. But didn’t you request – Er, you know… uhm, sexual services?”

“Yes. We will work our way up to it,” Severus assured him. “How did you feel about the caning?”

“I think it was more the surprise than it hurting…” Remus said. “It was hardly a caning, was it?”

“No. I shall rectify that next time.”

Remus gave him a quick smile in acknowledgement and then glanced at his watch. “Uhm, Er– I need to get some things done before the full moon, and… well…”

“Your work should not suffer. We will not keep doing this on a daily basis,” Severus said. “I will bring you the potion tomorrow evening. And I suppose we won't be able to do anything too straining until after the full moon.”

“Uhm– well, we could, if not for work. Anyways, thank you.”

“I thank you, Wolf.”

“Er- Severus…?”

“Yes?”

“You said you didn’t want me to come from now on?”

“You are asking about the spell, I presume?”

“I think I would like to try, yes.”

“This is a rather intimate spell. Are you sure you want me to put it on you?”

“Will I feel it?”

“It tingles when applied, but afterwards, no. You will also not feel it break.”

“How long will it stay in place?”

“It was designed for long-term use. Parents – more precisely the parents of their future spouse - would put it on children after an engagement, when those kinds of engagements were still fashionable.” Severus waited for another question, but Remus didn’t have any.

“Shall I proceed?”

“Yes, please.”

“Stand.”

Remus did as he was told, anticipating what would come. Severus performed a silent charm and Remus felt a slight tingle as promised and then nothing.

“That was rather anticlimactic…”

“The power of the spell is in the mind,” said Severus.

“What do you mean?”

“You will see tonight.”

“Will you know immediately when I did something I shouldn’t?”

“Yes.”

“And I will get punished.”

“Yes.”

“How… hard. I mean, would you cane me?”

“I would suggest we start with caning, yes. I will determine how hard the punishment will be at the time, depending on your progress in the matter.”

“Okay. Er- okay.” Remus said, not sure where he was going.

“One last thing. I wish to establish this kind of feedback we just did for the foreseeable future. To make sure what we do is to your liking and get an understanding of what your preferences are.”

“That sounds… reasonable.” Remus smiled at Severus. “You said there were other methods to know… make me not… uh?”

“I thought you had work to do.”

“I do… I do, but I also have so many questions.”

“Write them down,” Severus suggested.

“What if someone finds them?”

“Write them down in a way only you understand,” Severus said, as if it was the only logical thing to do.

“I will probably just confuse myself with it then.” Remus said half jokingly. He did not know how to end the conversation; a simple good night seemed too weak for what they had done this evening. “Thank you. For… Er… all of this, I suppose.”

Severus nodded at him and reached for a stack of parchment, probably homework to grade.

Remus was still or again in the mood when he returned to his own office, but he wasn’t allowed. And that in itself made his stomach flutter, his heart race and his midsection tingle. Severus would know if he did. And Remus would be punished. And the fact that someone had forbidden him to come, had the might over him to control such an intimate part of his life. Knew when he didn’t conform to that rule…

Remus wasn’t sure which aspect was more exciting. Severus had been right, that it was all in his mind though. Of course, he could come. And if he wanted to, he could tell Severus to not punish him. But he wanted to be punished. Hard.

He forced the thoughts of Severus caning him until he begged for mercy out of his mind and concentrated on the work in front of him. It was easier tonight, in some respects, because he knew he couldn’t, but also worse because the thought made him want to do it even more. But really, he had his fair share yesterday and today… It wasn’t that he had anything that could be called a sex life usually, but he also usually didn’t surround himself with things that made him twitch at the mere thought of it.

He frowned and chastised himself for his drifting thoughts and did something he hadn’t done in a while. He cast a cooling charm on himself, focused on his midsection and relaxed into the sensation of the cold slowly making its way through his skin, into his flesh and muscles, spreading through his body and finally encumbering him fully. When he started to shiver and his fingers got uncomfortably cold, he ended the charm. He made tea to warm himself, put on some music and refocused on his work.

Chapter Text

Remus’ quarters comprised a living room, a small bathroom and a bedroom, as well as his adjoining office. He liked the high ceiling and gothic architecture. The tall windows were framed with blue curtains, nicely contrasting the beige sandstone walls and complementing the ornamentation on the walls and ceiling. The furniture seemed to be selected randomly from across various centuries and styles, without feeling cluttered or mismatched. It was bigger and better maintained than anything he had lived in for years.

He especially liked the comfortable sofa which he now sank onto after he had managed to get through the entire day of teaching with an ever-increasing headache and the other pre-full-moon symptoms. Thankfully, the last lesson had been with his seventh years rather than first or second years. His seventh years were a small quiet group that he could give a reading task to, without much fuss.

He stared at the ceiling for a few moments and then closed his eyes. If he let himself relax too much, he would probably fall asleep, so he opened them again after a few seconds and straightened up. Severus would be coming by soon, too.

The plan for tonight had been for Remus to get the potion himself. He had a bit of a bad conscience, because Severus had gone out of his way to bring it up for the last two days, so he had insisted. He also assumed Severus would be going to the fest, which wouldn’t have given him much time between the end of lessons and the feast. But Severus had changed those plans during lunch break, telling him he would bring the potion later, then leaving before Remus had a chance to protest.

If Remus hadn’t already had a good excuse for why he couldn’t join the festivities, he would have made one up. Halloween was the only day of the year when he allowed himself to mourn what he had lost. But for now, he closed his eyes again and tried to calm the ache in his head by not moving, not talking and – as much as he could manage – not thinking. Only the fireplace illuminated the room. When he turned his head away from it, the red glow which had penetrated his eyelids turned to a soothing black.

Over the last decade or so, he had made a habit of getting drunk on October 31st. But sadly, this was out of the question tonight. Firstly, he was strictly opposed to the idea of getting drunk as a teacher in a castle full of students. There had been incidents like that, when he had been in school, and they hadn’t been pretty. Secondly, of course, because it was the full moon. What if he decided to run about the castle and make a fool of himself or transform in the corridors because he had lost track of time? He could lock himself in his quarters, put some complication to release locking charms on his door and hope he would be too drunk to release them. But it was all too risky.

The third and probably most important reason was that Severus had made sure he understood that certain substances could interfere with the wolfsbane potion. Alcohol and sugar were at the top of that list, but it also included poppy seed and, funnily enough, beetroot and a few other things – mostly potions with specific ingredients. While he needed to wait for the potion to be digested before consuming sugar, Severus had impressed upon him that alcohol was completely off-limits during the week leading up to a full moon.

So here he was, all sober. Instead of giving himself over to alcohol and self-pity. He cracked his eyes open, after the edge of his headache had passed and looked around in his quarters wondering how they would look when the sun rose the next morning. The thick wooden door seemed flimsy and paper-thin. Even the massive stone walls seemed not sturdy enough to contain a Werewolf. The enchantments he had layered and interwoven over the past week seemed like they would break if tested just enough.

He knew that the potion would prevent him from turning into a savage, bloodthirsty beast. He also knew the massive stone castle-walls couldn’t be breached by Werewolves, and the charms he had placed around his living room were more than enough to hold a whole pack of them. The massive wooden door, reinforced with iron, would hold for hours before breaking even without the protective charms. Remus would add a silver charm on top of the protective ones which would prevent the Wolf from even wanting to go too close to the door. Though he would wait with that. He didn’t need the side effects to being close to silver on top of everything else right now.

But knowing all of this, his heart rate still quickened at the thought of what could go wrong. What if the potion didn’t work this time and the Wolf found a way outside? What if a student was out of bounds? What if…

He tried to prevent his thoughts from going there. But pictures of bloody, mutilated bodies crept into the edges of his mind. There were just too many people around here.

He was so absorbed in that image that he jumped at the sharp knock on his office door, his headache exploding from the sudden movement and sound.

“Come in,” he said loudly and clearly so that his voice would carry through the open door between the living room and the office and beyond his office door. The headache made him nauseated from the effort, but Remus got up anyway to greet who he suspected was Severus. His hip felt as though it were made of spikes digging into his joints and flesh.

“Your potion,” said Severus, after closing the door – thankfully quietly – behind himself. He held the potion out for Remus who took it.

“Thank you,” said Remus. He stepped over to the desk and picked up a parchment which he handed to Severus. “This is the lesson plan. I just went through the definition of dark magic and creatures with the first years, so if it’s not too– “

“I am perfectly capable of reading, thank you,” interrupted Severus. He had glanced at the paper while Remus spoke, and after he finished scanning the page, he folded it up and placed it in the inside pocket of his robes. Meanwhile, Remus eyed the potion, mustering enough willpower to make himself drink it.

“It is not poisonous,” said Severus gruffly, but Remus thought there was a hint of amusement in there somewhere.

“But it is,” said Remus. “Wolfsbane is poisonous, even I know that.”

“Aconitum,” Severus corrected him seemingly automatically. “Yes. But the rest of the potion is exclusively designed to prevent you from having any side effects. While not neutralising the poison itself, the potion is still considered non-toxic. If you are interested in potion philosophy, there are books I could recommend.”

“I think I will pass, thank you,” said Remus with a soft smile.

“Conceptually it is a rather blunt potion. If all one were after was to keep the Werewolf’s mind away, aconite would be all one needed. It would be more desirable to counteract the poison itself as there would be no need to balance the multiple functions the potion has – besides, of course, keeping the recipient sane. As it is, Cedar Sapling Roots and Flitterbloom combined with Nevercups protect against the nervous system from damage. Silver, Pearl Dust and Activated Charcoal for the gastrointestinal symptoms. But of course, Silver is poisonous to the target group and needs to be counteracted with, among other things, Salamander Liver. Which reacts with the Bulbadox to cause hyperventilation, so this needs to be neutralised. And that doesn’t even take into account the numerous ingredients to keep the heart from stopping. I will not go into detail about that but believe me when I say that it is rather involved,” Severus ended his little rant, sounding much more like the ill-tempered teenager Remus had known. He had the feeling that it was something Severus had wanted to get off his chest for a while, but he hadn't found a suitable listener for.

“So does it hurt your soul to brew such an unsophisticated potion?” Remus teased him after a moment of silence.

There was a pause when Remus thought he had gone too far, but then Severus’ mouth twitched up slightly and he simply said, “The base idea is unsophisticated; The execution still requires my full attention.”

“Hm,” Remus said. He lifted the potion in salute and downed it in one go. The more often he drank it, the more pronounced his body’s reaction to it became. Now it didn’t just tickle his nose. It made him want to hold his nose, just to be near the potion. He forced the mixture down anyway. When he had fought the gagging reflex, he straightened up, blinking away the tears that had come to his eyes, while he waited for his head to stop throbbing so much and the darkness in front of him to subside.

Severus had watched him with a silent frown. Maybe he still thought about the crudeness of the potion.

“Nothing against your brewing skills,” Remus said to lift the mood.

“I doubt you can identify a badly brewed potion by taste, Wolf.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Only in the Cellar,” Severus reminded him.

“Is it what we call it now? The Cellar, with capital C.”

“And T.”

“Wouldn’t the same go for ‘Wolf’, then?”

“You object to being called ‘Lupin’.”

“Is it really so hard to use my given name?”

“There are very few people I call by their given names, Lupin,” Severus said quietly. But It was clear that the topic was off the table for now.

Remus sighed inwardly and rubbed his temples, wondering if he should start calling him ‘Snape’. But that seemed awfully distant for someone he was being intimate with.

“Do you wish to be alone tonight?” Severus suddenly asked.

Remus put the goblet back on the table, where Severus vanished it. “I was under the assumption you would be going to the feast.”

He wondered if Severus was aware that today twelve years ago his world had shattered. Of course, he must be aware of the fact it was the anniversary of Voldemort’s downfall, with all the celebrations going around. But he probably didn’t realise that for Remus it had never been a day to celebrate. But why would he?

“I don’t particularly enjoy the festivities.”

“Oh?” Remus said, raising an eyebrow. “It’s your chance to torment some first years with a scary mask…”

“I don’t need a mask to scare my students.”

Remus knew this, of course. He had been quite shocked when Neville Longbottom had confessed to his greatest fear. But what could he do, other than tell Dumbledore about the Boggart, which he had already done? Telling Severus outright. But he was certain that wouldn’t help and only risk making Severus angry.

“How do you feel about… roleplaying?” Severus asked.

Remus blinked, still in thought and it took him embarrassingly long to come up with an answer: “Tonight?”

“For now, yes, tonight. We may discuss this topic more another time if you are willing,” Severus said slowly, in that undertone that he had used the night they had talked about cages and how to use them before he had been sure Remus was interested.

Remus gestured for Severus to enter the living room. He waited for Severus to quickly glance around the room and then to sit down on an armchair before following him, striking a fine line in limping as little as possible and keeping the pain in his hip to a manageable level.

“What would we play? Runaway Werewolf?” asked Remus after they both were seated, and the throbbing in his head had calmed down.

“If you want to,” said Severus slowly, as if to figure out what to say, what to share of his fantasies. “You are a feral Werewolf and I’d– tame you. Provided you like this sort of scenario.” He tried to catch Remus’ eyes. Remus wasn’t sure if he wanted that, so he kept his face neutral. He didn’t want to decline Severus like this, but… he couldn’t really see how that would work. Should he try to attack Severus? How would they make sure he didn’t injure him by accident? And in any case, he didn’t want to play a feral Werewolf.

“Or you are my pet wolf and I would help you through the night…” Severus continued, seeming to take Remus' lack of reaction as what it was, a decline. Severus still watched his face closely. “Taking care of my Werewolf. I would like that very much.”

“You would?” Remus said before he could stop himself.

“Of course,” Severus said. “It – You – would be my pet. Would you not comfort your pet when it was in distress?”

“But I am not.”

“My pet or in distress?”

Remus frowned. His head ached too much for this kind of discussion.

“It’s a role play. We imagine things that are not real because we like to pretend and act them out,” said Severus.

Remus stared at him. It struck him how surreal this conversation was. He would have never ever thought Severus capable of something so… innocent as playacting to take care of a distressed pet.

“Is there- is that a sensitive subject to you?” asked Severus when Remus didn’t respond.

“The roleplaying? No. The pet-thing? Depends. The taming?” He drew in a measured breath. “It’s not something I would feel very comfortable with.”

“Do you fear the transformation?” Severus’ tone of voice made Remus feel like an interesting specimen again.

Remus rubbed his temples.

“It’s– ok,” Remus said noncommittally, not wanting to go into the complex feelings he had around the full moon and all it encompassed. “I’d like that, the, uh– roleplaying. I mean I’m not opposed to it, but… just – just not today, please. It’s too close to the full moon to have this conversation.” Then he added, “I’m sorry.”

“No matter,” said Severus. “I should have brought it up earlier.”

There was a pause during which Severus looked around the room, and his gaze rested on the bookshelves which were much too large for Remus' meagre collection of books. He hadn’t even bothered to unpack them, so they were empty except for a few library books.

If he was honest, he really wanted to do what Severus had suggested. The idea of someone wrapping their arms around him and telling him it would be alright, was… He shook his head inwardly. No, he was a grown man. He may have wanted that as a child, but now he was used to it. He didn’t need it.

And yet. The idea was… nice, lessened the pain in his head, and the tension in his muscles.

“Thanks for bringing the potion, though. You didn’t have to.”

“You are welcome, Wolf.” There was a short pause, and then Severus got up.

“Severus?” asked Remus, suddenly not wanting him to go.

“Yes?”

“If you are not going to the feast… Would it… would it be alright with you if I used the cage again?”

“You have seen that the potion works,” Severus said gently with a hint of a question in his intonation.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are right. I’m probably just paranoid.”

“And you already put enchantments on this room.”

“Yes, I– “

“But if it makes it easier, you may use the cage.”

“Thank you, Severus,” he said, wondering if he should make a joke about potentially chewing on library books if he stayed here but decided he was too tired.

“Are you well enough to Floo?” asked Severus after a moment.

Remus nodded and got up gingerly while Severus watched him closely.

“I’m fine,” Remus said quickly and straightened up when Severus was shifting his weight to step forwards. He gestured to the fireplace and made Severus go ahead, so he could gather himself before Flooing.

After they had entered ‘The Cellar’, Severus gestured for Remus to wait in the armchair which Remus gladly complied with. The cage was in the middle of the room, the same as last month. Right, Severus had prepared for their roleplay.

Maybe one day when he was more comfortable with the Wolf’s body. And with Severus.

Severus left shortly after having offered a tea, which Remus declined. He waited a few seconds after the door had closed behind Severus before he closed his eyes and leaned back. The Flooing hadn’t helped his nausea, his bones ached and his hip radiated pain. But the knowledge of transforming here with Severus instead of alone in his office calmed his nerves.

He let his mind wander, but as much as he tried to stay away, his thoughts would flow straight back to one topic, like a mountain creek towards the valley.

They were memories of Lily, James, Peter, and even Sirius. Not from the war, but those carefree times they had spent in this castle. Some memories seemed to have been recoloured and sharpened, others he had thought long lost had come back since he had returned. Seeing Harry may have helped as well. He had so much of both of his parents.

After trying and failing to divert his thoughts, he let himself remember the times when the worst thing they feared had been an angry Professor McGonagall – Minerva – or retaliation from one Slytherin or another. Or worrying that a prank might fall short. The time when Remus was sure Sirius had not yet turned when he hadn’t doubted even a second that they would all stay friends for life.

He determinedly avoided the pile of unanswered questions of why, how, and when Sirius had betrayed them. They would probably never be answered, and Remus had spent years analysing every interaction he could remember. There were instances when he was certain he knew the exact day Sirius had turned, maybe even the exact word, that had him switch sides. But other times, he wasn’t sure Sirius had turned even the day Remus had seen him last. In the end, he had decided it wouldn’t do him any good, trying to figure it out. Regardless of this decision, those questions had stayed in his mind for over a decade, always nagging somewhere in the very back of his mind, regardless of how much he tried to ignore them.

Instead, he remembered the good times.

He smiled when he remembered James’ excited face when they had worked out the last kinks in a prank, Peter’s worried looks when he had been made to do something that may get him caught, and Sirius’ persistent negging until Remus agreed to whatever he was asked to do to join in on a plot they had been devising. The euphoria when a prank had worked just right. Sirius’ barking laugh, when they had returned to the safety of the common room, sharing a look with James, while Peter shone with pride for having been part of it, telling them excitedly of every detail of what he had contributed.

Peter, who had been so afraid all his life, but had died so courageously. If it hadn’t been so stupid, Remus would have been proud of him. He would have at least one friend left. Though sometimes he wasn’t sure if the friendship would have lasted without Sirius and James to hold them together. Still, Peter hadn’t deserved to die, neither had Lily or James.

He stopped when he felt tears filling his eyes. He stood up and paced a few times in front of the fireplace before collapsing back into the armchair heavily. Forcing his thoughts to go somewhere else.

Would Severus watch again? Remus was quite certain that he would want to. It wouldn’t hurt to take precautions either way, and it would keep his mind away from the past. So he started casting glamour charms on himself. When the first jabs of pain pierced his flesh, he held his breath and let it out slowly when it subsided, then continued with the spellwork.

About ten minutes before moonrise, Severus swooped back into the room. He looked Remus up and down but then remained standing, seemingly waiting for Remus to take the initiative while Remus waited for Severus to say something.

“Will you stay?” Remus asked finally, hopeful that his voice didn’t sound too eager.

“If you allow it.”

Remus nodded and got up. Severus handed him a towel from one of the drawers and then turned around. A soft smile spread across Remus' face, and he quickly changed.

“You can turn around,” he informed Severus who did so and let his eyes travel across Remus’ body.

“How long?” asked Severus. His voice felt louder than it truly was in the quiet of the room.

“A few minutes,” said Remus. After another awkward pause, Remus continued, “You like watching me, don’t you?”

“Does it bother you?”

“I think I’m just not used to it,” Remus confessed. He wasn’t quite sure if it bothered him. Not enough to complain anyway.

Severus nodded and stepped in front of the fireplace, seemingly at ease with the silence, which soothed Remus’ mind as well. When a few jabs of pain followed very closely to each other and made Remus’ vision go black for a few moments, he said, “It’s time.”

This month was really bad, he decided while he made his way to the cage.

Severus locked the cage behind him. The thud the door made was equally unsettling as the last time. But it also meant, the waiting was over, he was safe for the night and the world was safe from him. He hugged his knees and put his head on his arms when the tension drained out of him and a wave of exhaustion hit him.

Severus had sat down on the floor and was watching him through the bars. His eyes were gliding across his body, soaking in every fold, every red mark, every unevenness of his skin that wasn’t covered by a glamour. There was the gleam again in his eyes. Now that Remus had allowed him to watch, he did so, apparently unashamed. As if privacy didn’t apply to him. If it hadn’t been so close to a transformation, he might have liked it, he realised. He had definitely liked it the other day when Severus had impassively watched him getting off. He hadn’t quite been able to put words to it.

Now, however, Remus was too close to the transformation to care much. He let himself fall back so he lay with his legs bent on his back. He stared at the ceiling through the solid bars of the cage. Then he pulled the blanket from around his hip and Severus pulled it through the bars. He didn’t want to damage it.

After the ordeal of the transformation, Severus let him out like last time.

Remus was still uncoordinated. Concentrating on each leg and paw individually, he slowly managed to nearly leave the cage only to topple over at the last step. He didn’t immediately get back up. Instead, he concentrated on the sounds around him that had caught his attention. It was much like last time. He could hear Severus’ breathing, a soft rustle from his robes, when he moved slightly, even his heartbeat if he concentrated on it, rodents in the walls. He also smelled Severus.

Remus had noticed a faint herbal smell a few times when Severus had come close, a smell he associated with the small room of potion ingredients, that was adjacent to the classroom. Sometimes the smell had shifted in this or that direction, depending on what Severus or his students had worked on that day. But underneath lay something different he hadn’t noticed before. The potion smells were still there but he also smelled Severus himself. He hadn’t really paid attention to it the last time, it would have been weird. It probably still was. There were some undercurrents that his Wolf instincts told him were significant. But he had no idea what they were. Severus had come closer, maybe wondering, if he needed help. Before Remus quite knew what he was doing, he followed the scent and sniffed on Severus’ robes.

“I wonder what you are smelling,” mused Severus.

Remus just looked up at him, unable to speak, and for once, he was quite glad about it.

“Does it smell good?” Severus asked with a wry smile.

Remus gave him a long look and chose to not indicate an answer either way. But if he had been pressed, yes, it smelled very good. Strong and masculine. He got up to follow another scent that had caught his attention, but he tumbled and fell over again. A frustrated sound escaped his unhuman mouth.

Severus kneeled next to him.

“Did you hurt yourself?”

Remus shook his head and got up, made his way slowly and carefully to the rug in front of the fireplace and let himself fall on it. He only stumbled twice. Small victories.

It was like writing with the wrong hand, just ten times worse.

While he contemplated that, suddenly the hair on his neck stood, and he tensed, feeling something was coming. Before he could figure out what it was, a silvery phoenix burst through the walls and Dumbledore’s voice boomed across the room, “Great Hall, now.”

Severus glanced at Remus. “Will you be alright?”

Remus did something between a shrug and a nod and Severus whirled around and left in a flurry of black robes.

And then Remus waited and waited, but Severus did not return. He wondered what the matter was. Maybe a Halloween prank gone wrong or a fight between students that had gotten out of hand? He had heard many footsteps shortly after Severus had left, and then it had been mostly quiet, except for the occasional hurried footsteps.

He got up, and walked the length of the room, tumbled and got up again. If he was stuck down here, he might as well use the time to acquaint himself with this body, away from Severus' watchful eyes.

After he had managed to walk the length of the room without falling a couple of times, he curled up on the carpet. Listening to the castle, and wondering what had happened, before he finally fell asleep.

He woke from the sharp pain of the transformation. Severus was there and covered him with a blanket, while Remus tried very hard to get his breathing and shaking limbs under control after the transformation had stopped. Severus gave him a few moments, before holding a potion bottle on his lips, but Remus shook his head. If it was the same potion as last month, it would just send him to sleep.

Severus looked like he hadn’t had any sleep at all. His eyes were red-rimmed and underlined with dark circles. He wore the same robes as last night and his hair was dishevelled.

“What happened?” Remus croaked.

“Nothing to concern yourself with just now,” said Severus curtly.

Remus struggled against Severus trying to give him the potion again.

Severus sighed and said, “Nobody got hurt. I will explain later.”

“No, now,” Remus said with as much force as he could muster. “Please.”

Severus shook his head. “It’s better for you to sleep. There is nothing you can do about it right now.”

“Severus,” Remus said and tried to sit up, Severus let him, though he looked like he would rather not.

“Black. He tried to make his way into the Gryffindor tower last night,” said Severus finally.

“What? By Merlins’ beard!” Remus was about to jump up, but this time Severus did hold him down. It turned out to be good because next to the painful protest of his muscles, he also went dizzy from getting up so suddenly.

“As I said there is nothing you can do right now,” said Severus calmly, as he had managed to make Remus lay down again.

“Harry?”

“Save, he was at the feast. Nobody got hurt.”

“Did you get him?”

“No, he escaped,” Severus said, the dismay in his voice almost palpable. “Drink.”

Remus begrudgingly took the potion, which promised to at least let him rest after the news he had just received. As Severus had said, he couldn’t do anything anyway. And he was certain Severus would insist on it.

Remus found himself on the softened rug with a blanket and pillow again, when he woke up. His wand and robes lay on the armchair, which was standing close to him. The delicious smell of a fry-up came from the table next to it. As last month, he felt much better than he felt he ought to. Even his hip was only throbbing lightly. He rubbed it more out of habit than pain and stretched gingerly. Then he suddenly remembered what Severus had told him and sat bold upright.

He had to tell Albus how Black had come in.

He was halfway to getting up, already crouching, when he stopped.

But how…? How could he admit that he had broken all the trust Albus had set in him when he had allowed him to be a student then made him a prefect, knowing what he was – how dangerous he was? Albus who had been one of the very few people, who still treated him as a human being even knowing what he was. Not just that. He hadn’t just been civil. He had actively helped Remus.

With Lilly, James, Peter and Marlene dead, only Mary and his father knew and hadn’t turned away from him.

And Severus. Severus knew as well. He had actively held out a hand to Remus, too.

But Albus had been the first and only his kindness had made the others possible. It would rip his heart out, when Albus would finally realise he was not the person he thought Remus was. A responsible person, for one thing. Trustworthy. And someone who wouldn’t under any circumstances endanger others.

He sat, half covered by the blanket, his head between his elbows which rested on his knees. He didn’t know how long he had been sitting like this, torn between going to Albus right away and staying here, hiding like the coward he was.

How could he have ever judged Peter for his cowardice at school, when he couldn’t even do the right thing as a grown man? Peter had been brave, in the end, even if it had been stupid. He himself wouldn’t have had the guts to oppose Black like that. As he didn’t have the guts now to tell a simple truth.

He winced, when he heard the door opening behind him. Turning around, he saw Severus coming in still dark circles under his eyes, but he did look better, as if he had had a pepper up or at least an hour or two of rest. Remus realised he was still naked and pulled his blanket up.

“Are you alright?” Severus asked.

“Yeah, just… thinking about Black. What happened exactly?” Remus asked, contemplating putting the blanket over his shoulders. But he was too eager to hear Severus' explanation to bother with it just now.

Severus made a small circling gesture with his wand, and a second armchair appeared in which he sat down heavily, before gesturing for Remus to join him. Remus grabbed his robes and looked around, searching for a space to change.

He should really get over this. So he pulled his shirt and robes over his head, before putting on his shorts and trousers quickly and threw a glamour charm on his face, before getting up and joining Severus.

Severus pushed the tray towards Remus, before starting to explain how Sirius Black had apparently tried to access the tower while the feast had been held in the Great Hall. The Fat Lady had refused him, and then Black had attacked her with a knife. Students had found the torn portrait. “He must have mixed up the days,” Severus volunteered at the end. “I am sure you have heard the rumours. That he has been driven mad by the Dementors…”

The words stung, just a bit. It was still his former friend. And it still broke Remus' heart that Sirius’ life, the life of one of his first friends ever, had turned out this way. Sirius, who had been trying to find a spot in the world where his heritage would not suffocate him, as long as Remus could remember.

Remus had listened without interrupting once. He wondered if Black was really that crazy that he didn’t know what day it was. Had it just been dumb luck? “Maybe he tried to use the occasion to sneak in the tower and wait,” suggested Remus.

“He could have done that any night.”

“There are patrols at night,” said Remus.

“I seem to remember you were quite apt at avoiding those.”

“Yes, well,” Remus said. “That was different.”

“How so?”

“He doesn’t have the tools.”

“He attacked the portrait with a knife, it seems unlikely that he has acquired a wand,” Severus agreed.

Remus nodded deep in thought.

The whole thing was a nightmare. Tell or not to tell?

Why couldn’t Black just disappear into the night and never let himself get seen again. Leave Remus the fragile peace of mind he had built over the years.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” asked Remus.

“It’s lunch break.”

“Right,” said Remus and stared at his food, which he hadn’t touched yet. “I can do the fifth years later.” Anything, that would take his mind off things.

“The potion is deceptive. The strain on your body is not negated, as I have told you.”

“I have worked on days after the full moon, you know.”

“That seems rather foolish,” Severus said slowly.

Remus was about to disagree, but then he stopped. It was a whole new experience to have someone to tell him to take it slow, who cared enough to say those words.

Did Severus care? Was he just nice, so Remus would continue to kneel to him? Had Severus forgotten what they did to him at school? No, no one could forget those humiliations.

“So, you have already eaten, I gather?” Remus asked instead.

“I drank a nourishment potion.”

Remus made a face and finally lifted his fork and picked up some of the scrambled eggs. There were certain perks to working at Hogwarts, and, while he did like cooking for himself, having access to expertly prepared food all day every day free of charge was one of the better ones. It was the thing he would probably miss even more than his quarters when he had to leave.

Remus was halfway done with his breakfast when Severus rose again. “Classes start in five minutes,” he commented. “I will teach your fifth-years this afternoon.” With that, he put another potion bottle on the table and left.

Remus just managed to call, “Thank you, Severus!” after him before the door closed.

Chapter Text

The first time they met after the full moon, Severus presented Remus with a collar.

Remus was kneeling in the middle of the cellar room once again, naked. Severus had spent several minutes carefully coaxing him into the right posture and had made him wait until he addressed him now.

“You will wear it from now on whenever we play,” Severus held the collar out in front of Remus’ eyes. “You may hold it.”

It was thick and heavy, but soft where it would touch the skin. It had a slight tilt inward, so it would follow the neck. It even had a small tag which read “Wolf.”

“I like it, Master, thank you,” said Remus, handing it back and retracting his hands to his back again, where his Master wanted them to be.

“I will put it on you.”

“Yes, please, Master.”

Severus dropped to one knee. Remus shifted while Severus put the collar on gently, still not used to kneeling this long.

Severus gave an impatient flick with his tongue. “Do stop moving.”

“Yes, Master.”

“How does it feel?” Severus asked and leaned back.

“Uh, good,” Remus said with a smile. He had to stop his hands from feeling the collar, that was heavy against his skin.

Severus slipped a finger between his skin and the collar, and then nodded. “If you feel the fit needs to be adjusted, you will tell me.”

“Yes, Master.”

Severus nodded and then said, “Before you can be useful to me, you need to learn how to kneel correctly. That includes repressing the urge to move, even if your body wants to.”

“Yes, Master.” There was excitement in his voice, but Remus couldn’t find a reason to not show how he felt about the prospect.

Severus turned the armchair, which had been facing the fireplace and settled into it, turning a small clock in his hand, which he had taken out of a pocket of his robes.

“How long do you think you can kneel?” asked Severus.

“I don’t know, Master.”

“You will start with 15 minutes,” Severus decided after a moment’s thought.

“Yes, Master.”

“If you move, slump, or in any way leave position, you will receive five hits with the cane, and you will restart the exercise.”

“Yes, Master.”

Severus summoned a thick blanket folded once and put it on the floor.

“Kneel on that,” he ordered.

Remus did gratefully. It made a huge difference, as now his knees and the back of his feet weren’t pressed against the hard, rough stone floor.

Severus waited until Remus was in position before he said, “Fifteen minutes start now.”

Remus instantly needed to swallow from the nervous excitement. He waited a few moments because he wasn’t sure if he was allowed, but it really couldn’t be helped, so he tried, as quietly as possible. Remus waited a few moments, but Severus, watching him lazily from the armchair, didn’t object.

Remus made up a small checklist, he went over again and again: chin up, back straight, shoulders back, stomach muscles tense, elbows back. He did this a couple of times until he noticed that one toe was pressing painfully against the bone of the other big toe.

He could probably resolve the toe issue with not too much movement. Severus raised an eyebrow warningly, when he tried, but didn’t comment. Remus waited for another moment, but nothing happened. Severus was probably giving him some leeway.

At some point his nose started to itch slightly, and then his right foot began to feel uncomfortable, but he resolutely ignored them, giving in now would just mean having to do it over again. He just had to do this for fifteen minutes. It was not his place to move, that decision lay in Severus’ hands. He would tell him if he was allowed to move.

Remus went over the checklist again, forcing the words to retain their meaning rather than becoming an empty stream of words in his head, posing every item as a question that needed careful answering.

Chin up?

He made sure it hadn’t dropped. He was still staring at the same spot on the wall he had before when he looked straight ahead. Ok.

Back straight?

He tried straightening his back, but there was not much change. Ok.

And so on it went.

It would have been monotonous and dull, if Severus hadn’t been watching him all this time, making sure he did as he was asked. Still, it had become rather hard to keep his mind on the checklist and not think about what else Severus could do with him when Severus finally said,

“Time is up.”

Remus sighed with relief and instantly vigorously rubbed his nose. It hadn’t been as bad as he had feared—though, rubbing his nose had never felt so good.

“You did very well,” said Severus, and Remus could feel his face relaxing. “Now stand. Take your time.”

“Yes, Master.”

Remus cautiously moved forwards on his hands, to take the weight of his legs. His knees and hip protested for a few moments before they agreed to bend in the right way, for him to get up.

“Move and stretch as you see fit, we will repeat the exercise shortly.”

“Yes, Master.”

Remus shook his legs, twisted his back from side to side and bent his torso forward once. Then he looked uncertainly at Severus.

“Are you this eager, Wolf?”

“Err,” said Remus. “Well…” He just didn’t know what to do. With Severus' eyes on him, he felt self-conscious about just… moving.

“Walk around the room until I tell you to stop.”

“Yes, Master.” He could work with clear instructions and did as he was told, carefully avoiding Severus’ eyes, until he was ordered into position again.

He started to go through the checklist again, but it seemed his mind was still tired of it and drifted away to a world, where Severus recklessly used his body for his own pleasure, before returning him bruised and hurting to the cage whenever he chose to.

“Get on all four.”

“Yes, Master,” said Remus. He hadn’t noticed that his eyes had dropped and his shoulders had started to slump. He moved forward with his hands and crouched as told, his feet thankful to be relieved of the weight.

“Why are you getting punished?”

“Because I moved when I was instructed not to, Master.”

“Why did you move?”

“I was distracted, Master.”

“How will you avoid that in future?”

Remus hesitated for a moment. “Make sure I concentrate on the task at hand, Master,” he said, not quite sure, it was what Severus wanted to hear, but apparently it was.

“Five hits with the cane. You will count each one. If you miscount or fail to count, I will restart from one. You are not to move; you may however voice your pain.”

“Yes, Master.”

“As you have not yet been punished in this way, I will start gently. What do you say if you need me to stop?”

“Red, Master.”

“And what will you say if you want me to continue in a gentler manner?”

“Yellow, Master.”

“Very well, are you ready?”

“Yes, Master.”

He felt how Severus rested the cane on his backside lightly pressing against the skin. Remus clenched his jaw. He didn’t want to cry out, even if Severus had allowed it.

The cane lifted and landed. It could hardly be described as a hit—it was more like a tabbing.

Remus breathed out the air he had been holding and said, “One.”

“The next one will be harder,” Severus warned him. He pressed the cane against his backside again, lifted it and struck. It still didn’t quite hurt, but it made a slight sound.

“Two.”

“May I hit harder?”

“Yes, Master. A lot.”

Remus held his breath and waited for the cane pressed against his skin to be lifted. It was a good indicator of when the hit would come, and he was thankful for it. The cane lifted and a moment later the hit came, hard, and he nearly yelped, but more from the impact than the pain.

“Three.”

“Harder?”

“Yes, Master.”

The next one was harder and the first, he would have described as painful. He breathed out slowly before he said,

“Four.”

“Still harder?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Very well.”

The fifth one was more painful, and he winced again and held back the impulse to put his hand on the spot that had been hit. It was more like he imagined a punishment to be. Painful and unpleasant. He would probably feel that one for a day or two.

“Five.”

“Well done. Go back into the kneeling position, with as little movements as possible.”

Remus went back, making sure to place his buttocks in a way that wouldn’t irritate the spot that was last hit.

“Tell me, Wolf, what did you forget?” Severus asked quietly.

Remus looked up. “Uhm, I… I’m sorry, Master, I don’t know.”

“You did not acknowledge my command.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “I am sorry, Master.”

“On all four.”

Remus did and received another five hits with the cane.

He winced, when the cane hit a spot that had already been hit, and then Severus ordered him to go back into position. This time Remus did remember to acknowledge the command. He desperately wanted to nurse where the cane had hit, his instincts telling him to check if there was a wound. But he wasn’t allowed, and he made sure to control the impulse to do it. He was pretty sure there were none, but that didn’t help.

“Fifteen minutes start now,” Severus said and went back to his armchair.

Remus went through his checklist over and over, carefully, and readjusted his position slightly when he needed to. He could still feel the last hits, not having been able to at least run his hand over them, the pain seemed to stick around far longer than necessary. Maybe it was a good thing because it helped Remus to not drift away with his thoughts.

So, he managed not to move enough for Severus to punish him, until Severus finally released him. Remus ran a hand over his backside, and the feeling of something wrong vanished instantly. Getting up took longer.

“You did very well for the first time. Next time we meet, it will be twenty minutes.”

“Yes, Master.”

“We will work on this until you are consistently able to do thirty minutes.”

“Yes, Master.”

After that, they moved up to Severus' office, and Severus asked again what Remus had liked and disliked, which Remus answered truthfully, albeit with a red face.

“So… what else will you—uh—train me in?” Remus finally asked. “How would that work exactly?”

“It would look roughly like what we did today. You will learn to put my wishes and desires before yours. As I said, you need to learn how to kneel and stand to attention. Get used to addressing me in the right way. After that, you need to learn how to hold your orgasms and not to react to stimuli. Does that sound appealing to you?”

Remus smiled. “Yes, I think I would like to try those things.” There was not much new here. But it was nice to have it laid out like this. He did look forward to what training to hold his orgasms would be like. He had an idea, and he liked it very much.

“You may make suggestions as well.”

“I think I like being watched.”

Severus' eyes gleamed again as a small smile curled up his mouth. “That is quite obvious.”

Over the next few weeks, they settled into somewhat of a routine. They decided to meet twice a week, though it wasn’t always possible to keep the days they met to consistent weekdays. Both of them had duties to oversee meals, breaks or curfew on sometimes varying days. Severus seemed to oversee detentions multiple times a week, and, as Head of House, he had to always be available for the Slytherin students in case of an emergency. As a result, Severus had to postpone their meetings twice already. Luckily, no student had burst into Severus’ office yet while they had been busy downstairs.

Remus wondered how Severus would react if that happened. The poor student. On the other hand, Severus hadn’t seemed annoyed when he had to postpone their meetings those two times.

Kneeling wasn’t as easy as it had sounded. Something always seemed to itch, twitch or protest in one way or another. He was sure he didn’t experience so much itching on other times of the day. When it happened while kneeling, he usually reminded himself of Severus’ words: to ignore what he wanted, or whatever his body told him—he was here to serve. Sometimes it worked, other times his hand wandered to his nose to scratch it while his mind wandered somewhere else. Most of the time he thought about what else Severus could do with him, sometimes it wandered to Black and whether or not he should tell Albus. Then he would be called back to reality by the pain of his Master’s cane.

He enjoyed every second of it. The way another person’s command determined what he did and didn’t do, that there would be tangible consequences if he didn’t comply, namely pain, was… exhilarating. Sometimes Severus stood behind him when he kneeled, cane in hand, or would walk around him slowly, always watching out for small infractions.

Severus strongly suggested he practised on his own. But when Remus tried, he found it rather silly. It wasn’t the same, without Severus in the room. So, for most of the month, Remus’ backside hurt whenever he sat down. It was a nice reminder of the time he spent with Severus.

“Well done,” Severus said after Remus had kneeled two times for twenty minutes consecutively. His legs protested when he moved, but it was a worthy sacrifice for receiving the praise. “I think that calls for a reward.”

They had been at it for just over two weeks now. Up until now, Severus had ended their sessions after the training. But now he said,

“Sit on the carpet.”

Remus sat down in front of the fireplace and waited for what was to come. Severus put the blanket away with a flick of his wand and then turned to Remus, pulling something out of his robes. For a moment, Remus thought it might be a gag or a butt-plug or something like that, but it was just chocolate. For a moment, Remus was disappointed, but then he smiled.

“A reward, Master?” Remus asked.

“Nourishment,” Severus corrected, but Remus knew better than to believe him. He was just about to extend his hand, when he really wanted his Master to feed him. So he opened his mouth and looked at Severus between his lashes.

Severus humoured him and put the chocolate into his mouth and Remus closed it and began to let it melt in his mouth. It was a high-quality chocolate that he could hardly ever afford. He nodded in thanks.

“Thank you, Master,” he said when only a sweet aftertaste was left in his mouth. Severus had let himself sink in the armchair.

“Lay down.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and did as he was told. Laying on his side, trying to make his head find a comfortable position on his arm.

“On your back.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and rolled over.

“Spread your legs.” Severus leaned his head on one hand that was propped up on the armrest. His voice was raw and deep, his eyes black vortexes.

Remus slowly spread his legs. Now Severus could see everything. He kept his legs apart, but without much thinking he covered the scars on his torso and one hand nearly made it between his legs. But that was probably what Severus wanted to see, so Remus lifted the hand up to rest on his belly. The worst of his scars were hidden by glamours, of course, but he still didn't feel comfortable. Kneeling and presenting himself to Severus like this were completely different things.

He looked up at Severus, who hadn’t moved, but looked down on him in what Remus thought might be amusement. He flushed.

“I’m sorry, Master,” said Remus, lifting his arms, unsure what to do with them now.

“You will not touch or cover yourself like this without my permission, Wolf. Sit up and hold out your hands so I can clean them,” said Severus and got up from his armchair.

“Yes, Master.”

Severus took the wrist of one hand and cast a cleaning charm on the hand and upper arm that left Remus’ skin raw and red and did the same on the other arm.

“You will get used to being naked around me.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and rubbed his hands where the spell still stung.

“Does it embarrass you?”

“A bit, Master. When there is no reason to...”

“You will not hide any part of your body from me. It's my right to see it all. You are after all here for my enjoyment, aren’t you, Wolf?”

“Yes, Master!”

“Lay down in a way that allows me to see how pretty you are, then.” Severus gestured vaguely to his midsection.

“Yes, Master.” Remus flushed again. He had never received much praise for any part of his body. At the best of times, it was good enough to not scare people off, even with glamours.

He rearranged himself, laying on his back, knees bent and slightly spreading his legs.

“Let your legs fall to the side.”

“Yes, Master,” said Remus and did as he was told laying on his back and his bent legs spread wide apart, everything was laid out like on a plate. It was a bit embarrassing to be displayed like that. But when he looked beyond that, he liked it. And exposed as he was, it showed.

“There you go,” Severus said after he had watched Remus for a few moments. He dropped to one knee and stroked over Remus’ length once. Remus hadn’t touched himself since that night before the full moon. He hadn’t been sure he would be able to stop himself if he did. So, the touch elicited a small yelp, and he stood to attention, breathing deep in anticipation. Hoping, Severus would allow him to come tonight. But Severus withdrew his hands. “Not tonight, Wolf,” he said and traced a finger along Remus' face. “You will behave yourself, won’t you?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and released the breath he had drawn in slowly. “Yes,” he repeated. And took another deep breath.

“You don’t want to disappoint me, do you?”

“No, Master.”

“It will be all the better, the longer you wait.”

“Yes, Master.”

“You are doing well, Wolf. It is not easy to control yourself like this.”

“Thank you, Master.”

Severus brushed with his hands over his balls. “This is what I like to see. You will get used to it, presenting yourself like that to me.” Severus' voice was soft like he imagined the purring of a vicious tiger. Deep like it’s growl. It made Remus’ whole body vibrate with a pleasant shiver. “Put your hands behind your head and stay like that until I tell you otherwise.”

“Yes, Master.”

Then Severus got up, and Remus could see him leave his field of vision to sit on the armchair. He was pretty sure Severus looked at him, but he didn’t dare lift his head to check.

He forced himself to relax, to just let it happen. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths and thought he might still feel Severus' gaze on him. Or maybe he just imagined it. After a while, he found he was perfectly content to lie to his Master’s feet on the floor like this, the collar heavy against his skin, marking him as his Master’s.

Later they sat in Severus office, and Severus asked the usual question:

Did he like it? Yes.

Was there anything he didn’t like? No.

Was there anything he missed?

Remus hesitated but then shook his head.

Between them was the usual layer of books and parchment on Severus’ desk. Remus wondered how he could work like that. But apparently, he could.

“Is there anything you would like to incorporate?” Severus asked.

“Well,” Remus said slowly, “In the very beginning, we talked about—uhm—sexual services. Do we really need to wait until I… uh can kneel to your satisfaction?”

Severus leaned back in his chair. “I would like it that way,” he said softly.

Remus thought for a moment. Wasn’t that part of the play? That he didn’t get what he wanted?

“Okay,” he said. “We can wait.”

“See it as motivation,” Severus suggested. “Is there a certain scenario you have in mind?”

“For when I get the kneeling down?”

Severus nodded slightly.

“Well, no,” Remus said. “I mean you should be able to do—Uhm—whatever pleases you… anal, or let me do the work… It should be clear that it is only for you.” Remus looked up to see Severus nodding softly once.

“How do you feel about the usage of potions?” Severus asked after a moment.

“What kind of potion?”

“There are some that could change the experience for you.”

“Mind-altering potions?”

“No, they would not alter your consciousness,” Severus said. “The potions I have in mind would change your perception. They could, for example, let you feel more pleasure or none at all.”

“Oh,” said Remus. “That would be alright, I suppose.” In fact, he quite liked the idea that Severus could decide how much he felt. Make it nearly unbearable hard not to come… Set him up for failure maybe, to punish him.

Severus nodded slowly. He seemed pleased. “Any other ideas?” Severus asked after a moment.

“Maybe—I think you can go harder with the punishments…” Remus suggested. He was getting used to the punishments Severus was handing out now and he wanted them to be a punishment, rather than a gentle reminder.

“More or harder hits.”

“Er—harder?” Remus said.

“That may result in injuries,” said Severus and added after a moment, “Broken skin.”

“Just use a healing spell. Or I can do it afterwards,” Remus said, not quite understanding the problem. As long as the cane wasn’t cursed—with Remus was pretty sure it wasn’t—it would heal easily and without scaring with a basic healing spell. “It’s not cursed, is it? The cane?”

“No, there aren’t any spells on it. I will heal the wounds, when necessary, if you agree to it.”

Remus nodded. “Of course.”

“I could also charm the cane so you wouldn’t be injured in the first place,” Severus added after a moment. “Though, I am not entirely sure if the pain it inflicts would be affected...”

“No, I like the first suggestion. And you healing it.”

Chapter Text

“Wolf!” said Severus in a voice that was somewhere between impatient and annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Master,” Remus said and moved so he was on all fours before Severus could tell him to do so. He was rather twitchy today; the first symptoms of the full moon had appeared, and he felt the unease and the restlessness that always came with it. Thus, sitting still was hard.

The hits came hard, but not much harder than before he had asked Severus for harsher punishments. Remus hoped Severus wasn’t just lenient with him because of the full moon. He wanted to be made to behave, even if it was harder than usual.

After the cane had left his backside for the last time, Severus bent forward and made Remus look up at him.

“Now, Wolf,” Severus said gently. “Imagine what I could do with you if you were properly trained… If I could be sure, you would behave…” He ran the tip of the cane down Remus' chest and Remus shivered from the sensation and Severus’ tone of voice. “Would you like to serve me in other ways tonight, Wolf?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Then show me that you are worthy and I will let you.”

“You will, Master?” After his miserable performance just now?

“If you behave. I know you can. Put your mind to it. Get into position.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, not wanting to miss this chance after weeks of barely more than kneeling and punishments, he put his mind to the task.

It helped that Severus kept close. He periodically put the cane on Remus’ shoulder or under his chin or circled Remus slowly. It was much more engaging than when he was sitting in his armchair and just watched.

All the while the word ‘worthy’ swirled in Remus’ mind. He had never been that—worthy. Not with this body and with the curse it held. But he liked the idea to prove himself. That only his actions mattered, his service to his master.

“Thirty minutes, not consecutively, but still in one evening. It seems as if you just need enough incentive to follow my orders correctly, Wolf,” said Severus when Remus was slowly getting up.

“Yes, Master. I’m sorry, that I disappointed you like that,” Remus said. “I will improve.”

“We will keep working on it,” Severus confirmed.

While Remus shook his stiff legs, Severus summoned the side table to the middle of the room before elongating it with a stretching spells. He motioned Remus to keep moving.

“On all four on that table,” he commanded after a few minutes.

“Yes, Mater.”

Severus instructed him to spread his legs a bit wider and then he said, “Since you are not yet trained to withstand your urges, I will make sure you won’t disappoint me, Wolf. This potion will make certain parts less sensitive. You will still feel everything, but not in undesired ways. It will not prevent any accidents from happening, so I still expect you to execute a minimum of self-control. Do you understand?”

Remus swallowed and then said breathlessly, “Yes, Master. Thank you.”

Severus opened the vial he had just shown Remus, took Remus’ chin and gently made him look up.

“Open your mouth.”

Remus did, and Severus put the vial to his lips and tipped in some of the potion.

“Swallow.”

They continued three more times until the vial was empty.

“Well done,” Severus said and ran over Remus’ mouth once. His hands were gloved with thin, smoother leather which glided over his mouth like silk.

Severus circled him and let his hand glide over his back and down his backside. Remus felt an anticipating shiver run down his spine. His heart was thumping, and blood was rushing in his ear. He was nearly as nervous as the first time he had kneeled before Severus.

“Breathe, Wolf, you are far too excited,” Severus said.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and tried to calm himself by breathing slowly. Severus instructed him to look down at the table, to hold the position and only talk when talked to first.

“Now Wolf. Why did I give you the potion?”

“Because… This is for your pleasure alone, Master, and I have not earned… I am not capable—yet—to be sure that no… accident will occur,” Remus said slowly, wracking his brain for the right words. The ones that made his midsection twitch, not that it needed much encouragement at the moment.

“Well done, Wolf. The potion will take full effect in a few minutes. I will start slowly.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and felt how his master’s hand slowly travelled down his spine and to the ring of muscles, where he slowly started to rub small circles around the rim. Remus could feel the touch and the motion, but it felt somewhat dull, like it would when someone would touch his arm. He wiggled a bit, in the hopes of increasing the sensation, but all he got was the feeling of a cane on his backside, and he stopped immediately.

“What did I tell you?”

“I am not allowed to move, Master.”

“Why did you do it anyway?”

“Because… I enjoy being touched there, Master.” Remus said honestly.

“Why are you here?”

“Er… here as in…”

The cane lifted and landed hard on his back and Remus yelped.

“Don’t play games with me. Why did I tell you to climb on this table and hold still?”

“For your pleasure, Master,” Remus said.

“Was what you just did, for my pleasure?”

“No, Master.”

“Why did you do it then?”

“I am sorry, Master,” Remus said breathlessly. “I didn’t think. I—I was selfish.”

“I see.” There was a short pause and then Severus said, “You understand probably, that I cannot let those bad habits take root. This punishment will be harder than what you are used to.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus breathed, his heart already thumping from the mere thought of it.

“Count,” Severus continued in a much more commanding voice, albeit not louder and put the cane back on Remus’ backside and hit hard, as promised. Remus gasped in pain and took a few deep breaths before he managed, “One.”

At fifteen he was breathing heavily, tears had shot in his eyes and his body was sticky with sweat. But he forced himself to be calm when he said, “Fifteen”, even though his voice shook.

“Alright?” Severus asked after a few moments when Remus’ breathing had slowed.

Remus could hear Severus moving after a moment, so he nodded hastily.

“Wolf,” Severus said. He had made it around the table fully and indicated for Remus to lift his head.

“Yes, Master?”

“Those pleasures are not for you. I will make you understand that one way or another.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “Yes, I know, I should not want those things. I am sorry, Master. I am here to serve you, and I failed in that.”

“Now, remember to be still. I think you received enough punishment for today, don’t you?” Severus’ hand moved over Remus burning behind, massaging it lightly, while he returned to the other side of the table.

Remus pressed his lips together and forced himself to be still until Severus was done and then said, “Yes, Master.”

Severus went back to massaging his ring of muscles, and now it really was like massaging an arm, there was nothing that would make his body react, except the memory of how it should feel.

And of course, the fact that he was just being a sex toy to Severus right now. Hold still and let Severus do whatever he wanted to do with his body… All that mattered was what his Master wanted. Those thoughts helped to ignore what Severus did to his backside, but not, when he suddenly stoked down his length once. It felt dull and not at all as it usually did. But he still reacted with a slight groan and a shutter, just from the memory of how it should feel. He couldn’t remember ever wanting something so much then to come right then and there. But he wasn’t allowed. He bit his lips.

“Is the Potion not working?” Severus asked in a way that told Remus he knew fully well, that it was, indeed, working perfectly.

“It is working, Master,” Remus said.

“Mhm…”

Severus continued massaging him, and then he felt something cold, and sticky and the first finger slowly pressed into him.

“Relax,” Severus said, after a few moments.

“Yes, Mater,” Remus said.

“You have done this before, haven’t you?”

“Yes, Master. It has been a while…” He breathed slowly a few times and forced his body to relax.

Severus kept working his entrance and after some time Remus finally relaxed enough for Severus to start with two fingers.

“There we go. Well done, Wolf,” Severus said and slowly moved his fingers in and out and to the sides.

Severus took his time, dipped a finger in or two, at some point three, moved around and left him again, to tend to other parts of his body briefly before returning to his backside. Remus sighed with the tension in his midsection and the desire to feel. He shut his eyes and concentrated on being still and a good servant. He opened his eyes again and stared at the wooden pattern of the table that was now weirdly elongated from the stretching charm. He forced himself to trace the wooden grain with his eyes, but he could not ignore what was happening to his backside. His whole body felt giddy, and so so ready for relief.

When Severus finally entered him, Remus groaned softly, anticipating the stretching and indescribable arousing feeling of another man pushing his way into him. But there was nothing. He could feel how his muscles widened, how they let Severus enter, but it had nothing sensual to it.

Remus nearly groaned, this time in frustration.

Severus started slowly moving inside him and Remus concentrated on keeping his backside relaxed. It was easier now that he was over his initial nervousness. He was just here to provide his body, scarred and useless as it usually was.

Worthy. The word came back in his mind. He would be worthy, and not move again.

The pace picked up and Remus felt the pounding against his hips. He held against it and with each thrust Severus made, Remus pushed back just a tiny bit. Aware, that for the first time in years, someone entered him like this, and he couldn’t feel a damn thing.

Severus dug his fingers into his skin and Remus winced and pressed his ring of muscles together ever so slightly, and had been right with his assessment when Severus came just a moment later.

The sigh Severus gave was nearly inaudible. Remus turned and could see Severus still in his robes, he must have opened them just enough.

“Eyes front,”

“Yes, Master, I’m sorry.”

Severus was drawing out of him, leaving his backside hollow. Remus could hear the rustle of Severus’ robes for a few moments and then he felt the cane on his backside, which was still aching from the previous punishments. He tensed the ring of muscles, desperate to find something inside of him. But he was truly empty.

“Why are you being punished?”

“I moved when I was not supposed to, Master.”

“Why?”

“I… I just didn’t think, Master,” Remus said truthfully.

Remus waited for the hits, which came mercilessly and left him squirming and gritting his teeth in an effort not to yell. Finally, punishments that were at a point where they were truly uncomfortable, eliciting physical responses like bringing tears to his eyes and covering his body in layers of sweat. True consequences of his actions.

Then a particularly painful hit landed on him, and he broke position before he knew what he was doing.

“Your skin broke,” Severus informed him, catching Remus’s hand that had made it towards the injury nearly without him noticing, preventing it from reaching the spot.

Remus tried to retract his hand, but Severus held it firmly in his own.

“Thank you, Master, for punishing me, so I may serve you better,” Remus tried.

Then he hissed, as the same overzealous cleaning charm Severus had used before hit his hand. Severus let Remus' hand go and Remus could feel the slight tingle of a healing charm, a moment later.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus repeated.

Severus stroked once over the spot and then his hand slit down between Remus's legs, which was still somehow partly erect. It was a mess of being horny, hurting, and knowing he couldn’t relieve himself any time soon. Severus moved his hand up and down Remus’ length. Then he moved around the table and put his gloved hand on Remus’ cheeks. Remus flinched and turned his head, keenly aware of where it had been just a few minutes ago.

“Wolf?” Severus asked and forced Remus' chin so he would face him.

“I’m sorry, Master,” Remus said.

“What is it?” Severus said and gripped his jaw harder, forcing him to look up.

“I’m sorry… er—I just know where that hand has been… I—uh—I don’t want it in my face, I’m sorry, Master,” he said and cast his eyes down. He wanted to bow, but couldn’t with Severus’ hand holding his chin, but it did seem like a good way to show how sorry he was.

“They are self-cleaning,” Severus said after a moment and let Remus' jaw go.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said to the tabletop with a small breath of relief.

“Get back into position. Look at me.”

“Yes, Master.”

“How are your pain levels?

“Er—okay, Master. I’m sorry you had to punish me so harshly today, Master.”

“Apart from the beginning, you did quite well.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“Kneel.”

“On here?”

“Yes, on the table.”

Remus did, again, very careful to irritate his backside as little as possible. Severus ran the cane down his belly and then it landed on his still erect midsection.

“Kneel until this is gone. I will wait in the office until you are ready,” he said gently and then left Remus to deal with it.

Remus kept kneeling, even though he didn’t like it do it alone, but it was a command of his master, so he would follow it. He felt hazy from the pure desire running through his body.

He forced himself to go through the, by now very familiar, checklist. He had gone through it so much in the last few weeks, that he sometimes even dreamed about it. It did help him to stop thinking about what Severus had just done with him, though it was hard. In the end, he got up and cast a cooling charm on himself. It didn’t seem as effective as usual, but it helped.

He clothed himself and left the collar on the chest of drawers before returning up the stairs.

As Severus had said, he was in his office when Remus knocked, looking up from a notebook. He had multiple and they were all bound in black leather. Severus put it with the others, when he saw Remus and after Remus had been seated, proceeded to ask the usual questions.

“You seem distracted,” Severus said when Remus had lost his train of thought for the third time.

“Yes, well,” Remus said, a bit harsher than he wanted to. All he could think about was Severus inside of him. His body wanted to move, to find some friction, but even if he would let that happen, it would do nothing; the potion was still in effect. It was distracting, to say the least.

He took a deep breath and said, “Sorry, It’s really… Urm—after what we just did…”

“It is not too much?” Severus asked.

Remus hesitated. He didn’t want a choice in the matter. Well he did, he would hate it if he didn’t. He wanted the choice of not having a choice, he surmised and shook his head. It was part of the game, and if he failed, there should be a punishment.

“I see,” Severus said, and a hint of amusement crossed his face. “How about a reward if you keep yourself controlled tonight?”

“What kind of reward?”

“You may make suggestions,” Severus said after short consideration.

Remus thought for a moment, there had been one thing he had really wanted to try those last few sessions. “Can I have a gag on Wednesday while I kneel?”

“You may.”

“Can I choose which one?”

“If I am in a good mood,” Severus said.

“What—Uhm, well what is the punishment for me failing that?” They had never discussed it after the first time, where Remus hadn’t even been punished once yet.

“I will let you think about what you did in a cage. I will determine the length of the punishment at the time.”

“How long do you usually give for that?”

“It very much depends. It's not about the length of time, but how much of an impression it makes on the Sub.”

“And since you don’t know how I’ll react…”

Severus nodded.

Remus floo’ed back to his quarters. While he thought a short walk through the castle wouldn’t be a bad idea, he didn’t want to ran into anyone in his current state.

Not touching himself hadn’t been so bad until now. He had woken up a few times having a very wet dream about Severus and that drawer. Maybe he had gone through his stack of chocolate a bit faster than usual and used cooling charms or cold showers more frequently. But generally, it hadn’t been too bad.

But tonight was different.

Maybe it was the full moon, maybe it had to do with the evening’s activities. But when the potion stopped working shortly after he had returned to his quarters every movement, every breath of air, reminded him of his unfulfilled desires. His body was in a state of readiness, that made his hands shake slightly, his brain foggy, his skin susceptible to the slightest of touches. A shift of his clothes seemed to have the effect of a skilful massage.

He tried reading but kept reading the same line over and over again, without parsing the information within. With an impatient snort, he put the book down and his mind wandered back to Severus inside of him. How he had slipped the fingers in and out of him, had widened his muscles, filled his insides.

Remus looked around for something to transfigure to use as a replacement for Severus, before he quite knew what he was doing. His office chair was made of smooth, soft leather. He could transform it to be the right shape and make the outside nonabsorbent, stiffening the stuffing to just the right consistency… He could practically feel how it pushed into him.

Remus put the wand which had wandered into his hand back in his robes and went to the bathroom, taking a very cold shower. The water hit him like an icy wall, making him gasp and forget about Severus for a few seconds. His thoughts cleared mercifully but he stayed under the shower long enough to start to shiver before he dared to climb out.

But back in the warmth and comfort of the living room, he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. It would be a great release of his pent-up energy, to knead some dough. He liked making his own noodles when he was stressed after work and didnt feel like taking a walk.

His gaze wandered to the small nook, with a counter, a sink, and a bit of cutlery, which was a meagre excuse for a kitchen and the only thing he didn’t love about his quarters. It didn’t even have a stove, so if he ever chose to cook, he would need to set up a fire. It was finicky to get the temperature right, and right now, he definitely didn't have the patience.

No kneading, no cooking.

He thought about going for a walk, but he still didn’t feel like meeting anyone, so he opened the windows wide. Leaning on the windowsill he let the stuffy heat that the fireplace had created escape and embraced the cool clear air of a November night.

He let his mind drift, and he soon was back to Severus and their time together this evening. He thought of what Severus would say if he knew of how close Remus was to breaking the rules – and the spell.

“Tell me pet, why are you not allowed to come?” Severus asked in his mind.

“Because only then I can serve you well, Master. My… my wants and needs don’t matter. Yours do—only yours,” Remus would say.

“That is right, Wolf. Serving can be hard at times. But you want to be good, don’t you?” He would maybe run his hands down Remus’ cheek.

“Yes, Master.”

“Then control yourself. However hard it may be now. It will get easier,” Severus would say. And then he would make Remus kneel on the rug until the erection was gone, as he had once before. “Show me that you are worthy of my training you,” Remus imagined Severus saying.

Other images swam in his head, that had been there before he had even returned to Hogwarts. But now the stranger in them had a face, and Remus had many more references to fill the images with details. How it felt when he was hit hard on the backside, and his body’s reaction of pain and shock. The way it felt when he was watched, quietly, as if he was just another possession. The way it had felt when he hadn’t felt enough while Severus had thumped into him.

Still so many things, he didn’t have references for. Gags, cages, contraptions, that would limit his movement, for his master’s pleasure or his punishment. How it would feel when he was locked in a cage. Would Severus stay and watch him or leave him alone to mule over his choices? How would it feel to wake up to a Master, who would casually use him to his gratification before he was fully awake? Maybe he would wake up to someone manoeuvring him into position and only fully understand what was going on when the first finger made its way inside of him. There were other images that he had never examined for longer than a fleeting glance before he pushed them away. Even to him, they were embarrassing.

Remus' mind went back to Severus saying, “Kneel until this is gone.”

And Remus did. He didn’t want to be punished. But most of all, he didn’t want to be unworthy of another session like they had today. He wanted to work, to show he was worthy of Severus’—his Masters’—time. He would learn and be of service, and not be as selfish and uncontrolled as he had been today. Next time, he would be better.

Some part of his brain pointed out, how deep he was in the mindset of being Severus’ slave—he really needed another word for that, maybe Sub, but that also didn’t feel right—right now, but it didn’t matter. It was easier to deal with his body’s desires that way.

He took a few deep breaths, concentrated on his posture, closed his eyes and imagined Severus sitting in front of him, watching him, and making sure he would be obedient.

If he was really willing to suppress his libido like that for the foreseeable future, he needed to find a better way of dealing with those tensions than showers and cooling charms.

Maybe Severus was testing his limits to see when he would break. Remus was determined not to.

So, he concentrated on the checklist:

Chin up?

Back straight?

Shoulders back?

Elbows back?

Stomach muscles tense?

“Choose,” Severus said and held out two gags for Remus to see. One looked like a bit from a horse’s bridle and the other was a ring with straps on either side.

Remus looked at both carefully. The bit would be nice to bite on when he was being punished, but somehow, he was drawn to the ring. Something about his mouth being forced open made him excited. He informed Severus of the choice.

Severus nodded and let the other gag float back to the drawer. He bent down and held the gag in front of Remus, who obediently opened his mouth. Severus pushed the ring into his mouth and closed the straps. He made sure Remus was comfortable before he stood back, looking at him. Remus meanwhile tried to adjust to the object in his mouth. He felt exposed and humiliated in the best way, to have to keep his mouth open like that.

“Well done,” Severus said when Remus had managed a thirty-minute session on the first try half an hour later. Slowly but surely, he felt it becoming easier. His body had started to get accustomed to it. Though the side effects of the full moon still made it harder than it would have been otherwise.

Remus wiped the saliva from his cheek that had managed to make its way out between his lips and the gag and had formed a small trail down his chin.

“Hand,” ordered Severus.

Remus blinked and then realised it was probably the drool he hadn’t been allowed to touch. He received a biting cleaning charm, and his hand was dropped.

“You may get up,” Severus said.

Remus slowly and gingerly lifted his body from his legs and stretched them even more slowly. His knees protested the movement at first, and then it was heaven. He was probably too old for this stuff. Maybe you needed to start with this in your youth, so your body got used to it.

Severus caught Remus’ chin and vanished the rest of the drool. Remus was sure, Severus saw it as an added bonus and not a problem. Not that Remus did have a huge problem with it, but it had been quite annoying and distracting when he could feel his saliva walk slowly to his lips and jump to its death while he wasn’t allowed to move and couldn't do anything about it.

Still, he enjoyed the gag. It was nice to have a tangible restraint, not just a command and the thread of a punishment.

Severus removed the gag and Remus moved his jaw to loosen the strained muscles.

“You are making progress.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“I would like to start with something new. If you are willing, today,” Severus said.

Of course, he was. “What is it, Master?” Remus asked, and stopped loosening his leg muscles by slightly shaking them, so he could better listen.

“I told you, I expect you to have complete control over your body. The exercise we will be doing today is to make sure you do not come, even when you feel pleasure during one activity or another. You will be trained to not give in to those urges. It is a long way, and it is not easy. I expect you to put in the effort.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

Severus made him move about the room for another five minutes or so and then he summoned the table in the middle of the room. “Lay on that table on your back, legs bent and slightly apart.” Severus said.

“Yes, Master,” he said with a dry mouth. He had been looking forward to and dreaded this since the first time Severus had mentioned such training. But he really wanted to try.

“Put your hands next to your hips. Very good.” Severus said when Remus lay very exposed before him.

He rested his hand between Remus' legs.

“You will not come.” Severus reminded him.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, hoping Severus wouldn’t tease him too much.

Remus tried to relax and swallowed hard when Severus shifted his hand. He was rock hard and nearly moaned. It was as if his body had just waited for the right moment, to confront him with all the held-up desire from the last month. He groaned without meaning to, and his hips moved towards Severus’ hand.

Severus pulled his hand back. “Do you remember the punishment?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Remind me.”

“I will be locked in a cage until it has an impact on me.”

“Do you want that?”

Remus hesitated. He did want to try the cage. But only until he was tired of it, and he was certain, that was not when it would end if it was a punishment. So he decided on a, “No, Master.”

“The objective is, as you have probably guessed by now, to not react to what I am doing. You may try to think of something else, maybe your breathing or counting. Maybe facts. It helps as far as I have been told.”

“Yes, Master.”

“No speaking when not prompted, and especially no bagging is that clear?”

“Yes, Master.

“Ready?”

“Yes, Master.”

Severus stroked his penis again and Remus sighed, and at the same time, tried to rain in the desire. He breathed in and out, in and out. Severus was now lightly gripping his shaft and massaging it.

“Gnnn,” made Remus involuntarily, and then held his breath to keep himself from voicing his feelings and pressed his hip to the top of the table to not move it.

Severus let him go. “You are quite easily excitable.”

“You were, too, if you hadn’t touched yourself in a month,” Remus said more forcefully than he had meant to. “Master.” He added when he remembered.

“If you keep making progress, I will allow you to, soon. You may want to think about what you would like to do when the day comes.”

“Really, Master?” He hadn’t dared to ask. After all, it was supposed to be a gift. You didn’t just ask to receive gifts.

“Yes.”

“And I can choose?”

“It is a reward, so I will consider your wishes.”

“How… elaborate can they be, Master?”

Severus thought about it and started playing with Remus' midsection again. Not enough to make him squirm, but enough to distract him. “Not much. But it should be something you enjoy.”

“Can it be something I want to try?”

“Of course,” Severus said. “Now, back to this exercise. I expect you to keep focused on your breathing. In through your nose; out through the mouth.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Repeat why this exercise is crucial?”

“Because it will allow me to serve you better, Master. So you can… use me—er—without me screwing it up.”

“Why is that important?”

“Er-“ Remus said. “Because I am to serve you. Er…”

“Because I want it, Wolf. There is nothing more you need to concern yourself with. It is my wish. Thus, you will do your best.”

“Yes, Master. I will do my best.”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, Master,” said Remus, closing his eyes and concentrating on breathing, but his efforts were in vain the second Severus touched him again.

“Breath,” said Severus in a low husky voice, that did nothing to ease Remus' tension, but he tried and breathed in through the nose and then out through his mouth, while everything in his body screamed to do the opposite. He suddenly gasped when Severus gripped his shaft a bit firmer than last time and moved his hand up and down. Remus concentrated on not closing his legs, but his breathing stopped, and he gasped, and he nearly brought up his own hands to fend off Severus' when Severus released him.

Remus closed his legs, but Severus gently pressed them apart again.

“Are you trying to hide from me, Wolf?”

“No, Master,” Remus gasped, trying to get his breathing under control. Everything in him wanted to come, every last fibre. His midsection aced nearly as much as it had last session. He really hoped it wouldn’t take as long to calm down afterwards.

“Indicate when you are ready to go again,” Severus said. Remus closed his eyes and calmed himself down. When his heartbeat and breathing were at normal levels again, he nodded.

“Concentrate on your breathing,” Severus said. “Close your eyes and listen to my voice. It is irrelevant what happens to your body.”

Remus nodded.

“Breath in through your nose, out through your mouth… in…. out…” Severus said. He repeated the commands a few times waiting for Remus to fall into step. He started touching Remus again and slowly worked his way up, repeating the words regularly and calmly. Remus couldn’t block out what was happening to his body, as Severus had said, but listening to his voice tethered Remus somehow.

“Much better,” Severus said.

Remus let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Do you think you can do it once more tonight?”

“Er—If you give me a bit…,” Remus said weakly. May i get up and I move, Master?”

“You may if it helps you recover.”

Remus sat up, crossed his legs, which were tense from the effort of not closing them and rubbed his face and then stood. It was good to move and release the tension, and by now, he had less problems just walking around the room, while Severus was watching.

“Can you do it again… tell me to breathe in and out? It really helped...”

“I will.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said and shook his legs out a bit before laying back down. “I’m ready, Master.”

Severus put a hand on Remus’ knee. “Be good, and you will be rewarded.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, more concerned with not spending the rest of the evening in a cage or dealing with the fallout when he was back in his quarters. Not that he really minded either.

“Breath in through your nose, out through your mouth… in…. out…” Severus’ voice forced him back to the present and he hastened to get into the rhythm. This time went about as well as the last one, but Remus was mentally and physically exhausted when Severus finally let go of him.

“You did very well, Wolf,” Severus said after Remus had caught his breath.

“Thank you, Master,” he said with a relieved chuckle.

“What is so funny?”

“Nothing, Master,” Remus said, still waiting to be allowed to get up. “Releasing tension.”

“How do you feel?”

“Tired, Master,” Remus said. “But good.”

“Kneel until you are ready and then come to my office, I have something else I want to discuss. It will not take long.”

Remus got into position and started up the checklist again.

His orgasms were his Masters’ now. Remus thought about this for a while, and he liked to look at it this way. The way part of his bodily autonomy was not under his influence anymore. Entrusted to Severus, even if Severus was withholding things from him he really wanted. He had given it away freely. He could take it back any time if he chose to.

“Do you think you can hold out until after the full moon?” asked Severus when Remus had settled down in the office.

Remus grinned, mostly out of embarrassment. Sometimes he thought Severus just made him talk about these things to see him flush. “I hope so. I liked that little talk about why we did the exercise by the way—because you want it.” He added to give more context when Severus frowned at him.

“The mind is a powerful tool.”

Remus nodded, while Severus waved his wand, and a small bluish vial landed in front of him.

“This is the numbing potion I gave you last week.”

“Isn’t that cheating?”

“A good dom supports his sub so he or she can do what the dom asks of them.”

“Why thank you. Now I can—,“ he stopped himself. “I don’t have to worry,” he ended. He didn’t think “wank without worrying” was something he wanted to say in front of Severus. Maybe in front of Sirius. His heart sunk, and he looked away.

“Are you available on Friday evening?” asked Severus. Maybe he had interpreted Remus’ body language as embarrassment rather than what it was, the knife of grief. And guilt, because he still hadn’t talked to Albus. The thought of Albus disappointed in him… He just couldn’t.

“Yes,” Remus said, his intonation rising higher in the end, to make it a tentative question.

“I would like you to eat dinner with me. We have been doing this for a month, so I think it will be a good time to evaluate. Discuss if and how we would like to continue.”

“That sounds very reasonable,” Remus said, wondering about the ‘if’. He had thought Severus had enjoyed himself, but maybe he had been bored...? Or he had realised that Remus was not what he had expected. But if Severus was determined to end this, he could have done so right now. So, he asked. “Do you have a kitchen in your quarters?” He knew Filius had one because he had visited him a few times by now.

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“I only have a small nook in my quarters, but no stove. So how about we cook something? Better than just eat and talk, don’t you think?” Severus was probably as meticulous a cook as he was a brewer, but Remus thought he wouldn’t mind that if it meant standing in a kitchen again.

“I don’t enjoy cooking.”

“You don’t?”

They had hardly ever gone in any direction that was personal. The closest they had gotten was on Halloween. But even then, it hadn’t been very personal. Severus had been strange that evening. Asking so blatantly about the roleplaying and sharing his fantasies. He hadn’t done anything like it since. It was a greeting, The Cellar and then the usual questions.

Severus raised an eyebrow that spoke for itself.

“I would have thought since you liked brewing so much…”

“Brewing is… very different from cooking. More precise, clearly defined goals about what effects should and shouldn’t be present in the potion. If I would not put the precise amount of Nevercups in your monthly potion, your nervous system would be damaged by the Aconitum. If I put in too much… Well-“ he stopped and after a moment Severus added, “There is no room for error. Everything has a purpose.”

“There are some margins, I'm sure,” Remus said.

“There are margins if you are satisfied with suboptimal results,” Severus said curtly.

“So what do you do, when there are no house elves around to cook for you?”

“I am perfectly capable of preparing a meal if need be; I do object to it as a social activity.”

“Oh well,” Remus said. “I really enjoy it. Not just with other people, but you know, after a long day. It's a good way to… well relax, I suppose. I’ve been missing it quite a bit. My quarters only have a nook, without a stove and all that. It's just not the same without…,” Remus added when Severus raised an eyebrow. “What happens if you put too many Nevercups in a potion?”

Severus gave him a look as if he should know this. It was probably part of the syllabus. But Remus had never been any good at potions and it was a long time ago by now. So Remus just shrugged and smiled until Severus explained: “Nevercups can cause hallucinations. In the Wolfsbane potion, it is counteracted of course, but just enough for the 2.3 grams the recipe calls for.”

There was a pause in which Severus slightly tapped the desk, staring at those horrendous jars on the walls and Remus wondered if Flitwick would be okay with Remus using his kitchen—he would of course share what he made with his host—when Severus spoke again.

“You may use the kitchen if it pleases you. Except for the coffee pot, it only holds the utensils it came with. I suggest speaking with the house elves to make sure you have what you need. Don’t expect me to join in.”

A smile spread over Remus’ face. “I won't.”

He wondered briefly if he should still ask Severus to at least do some cutting but he was too afraid his kitchen privileges would be revoked.

Back in his quarters, he wondered what to make while he took a long cold shower. Something that wouldn’t take too long… A curry? He hadn’t had one for months… Or a stir-fry…? He had no idea what Severus liked.

Chapter Text

Remus was a bit nervous about his meeting—he was determined not to call it a date—with Severus. So when he had managed to make a dent in the always present mountain of homework to be graded, he stood and stretched. Two more hours until he needed to get ready. Maybe a walk would do him some good. Outside the Hogwarts grounds, maybe even?

After some deliberation, he decided to apparate deep into Wistman's Wood where the forest’s magic protected itself against anything non-magical entering. The quiet and cool of the forest, slowly going into its winter sleep was a stark contrast to the busy castle full of glazing fireplaces. Nature and forests in particular never failed to calm his mind. He followed a few trails and then wandered along a small creek. There were some Bowtruckles that pretended to be twigs and then he found some Creekhowler that drifted over the creek looking like misty wafts. Remus stood between the trees and watched them waiting for fish to jump over the rapids for an easy meal, occasionally screeching in frustration or joy. He let his thoughts drift, without having to keep them forcefully away from any specific topic. Yes, he was nervous about what Severus had planned, the “if” still fresh in his mind, but it was just that: nervousness. And there was the whole Black situation, that he did his best to ignore. But there he felt no dread about how he would manage to get food on the table next week, or when his employer would find out what he was and how he could get away safely if that happened.

And why was he nervous about his not-date with Severus anyway? It wasn’t that there was anything more than sex going to happen.

Far too soon, and at the same time, somehow not soon enough, it was time to return. Some part of him had hoped to find Fiexte, pearlescent horse-like creatures that were only found in this very forest. They usually lived much deeper into the woods, where there was too much magic to apparate to, so he hadn’t really expected to find any. Some day, he wanted to see them for himself.

When Remus finally stepped into his quarters, he was running behind, so he quickly showered, to warm up as much as cleaning himself. As far as the choice of clothing was concerned, he didn’t have much to choose from. He had exactly one set of clothing that wasn't mended somewhere. His trousers' cut was a bit behind the fashion but would be covered by his robes for the most part anyway. The robes were not really suited for winter, but since he wouldn’t leave the castle, they would have to do.

Remus quickly pulled the robes over his head and fumbled to find the sleeves. Meanwhile, he was already wandering over to the mirror to adjust his clothing. Something gave way with the sound of ripping fabric. Remus stopped with a small curse, examined the damage and sighed. The hole was right next to one of the seams on his shoulder, where the strap of his bag had worn the fabric thin. It wasn’t terrible, he could probably sew the hole to the already existing seam, without it being very noticeable.

Since he didn’t have time to fix the robes right now, he threw them over the sofa and went to find his second-best robes, because even with a hole the other ones were still his robe. The thought was rather depressing.

He really should buy a new one, now that he had some money. But his savings were still too meagre, for him to feel comfortable with such an expense. New robes just weren’t strictly necessary. The old ones still did their jobs, and most of the mending he had done was barely visible, even if you knew what to look for. If he still had this job in a few months he would get himself a new one. If he had left Hogwarts by then, he would have other problems and be glad for every Knut he hadn’t spent.

That reminded him, he should probably withdraw at least some of his money from Gringotts, lest the Ministry decide that Werewolves couldn’t have bank accounts or something…

A look at the time told him that he really needed to get going. He cast a last sceptical look at the robes. A quick glamour charm on the hems made them look a little less frayed. Then he rushed down to the kitchens to get the bag of ingredients he had asked the house elves to put together and hurried to Severus’ office. Making sure no one was around, he knocked.

Severus greeted him in a black velvet robe with intricately stitched and equally black patterns around the collar that thinned out the further down they went. It was subtle but most definitely not cheap and made Remus even more self-conscious about his own robes. Severus' hair was freshly cleaned and combed, shiny and thick.

When he stepped through the door he had passed so many times on the way to the cellar he looked around curiously. They stood in a hallway that had the same stone walls and floors then the rest of the dungeon. The only thing that gave away, that this was a private quarter, was a long carpet with a traditional wizarding design of stars and moons, chests of drawers made from dark smooth wood along the wall and paintings on the wall above. A huge jaw was displayed in the middle of the drawers and held… something. Remus ignored it and took a closer look at the paintings.

“That’s rather a… gruesome gallery,” Remus remarked, looking at the pictures individually: A banshee screaming, a woman whose body was in the process of turning into stone and twisting as if she hoped to escape the tomb her body was turning into, a centaur lying on the floor, something bloody and slimy making its way out of a wound on its belly and…

“A transforming Werewolf,” Remus murmured. The snout had already formed, but the hands were still human, digging into the ground. Remus could only imagine the howl of pain coming from the snout.

“Indeed,” Severus said and looked at the picture nearly affectionately.

“So… Is that something that… you especially enjoy watching?” He had been wondering if there was more than academic interest in the transformation. Though, there had been some strong evidence for it to be the case.

Severus pursed his lips but then he said in a calm voice. “Yes.” The gleam in his eyes told Remus exactly how much he enjoyed it. “Imagining you change, convulse in pain, screaming... bones and muscles rearranging themselves under the skin. Yes, it did spark my interest,” Severus said, looking fondly at the man in the picture.

Remus just wished Severus would speak less lovingly of the transformation. It was disturbing to hear it spoken of like that. It was not something to be cherished.

“What happened to him?” Remus asked, looking at a man, whose body grotesquely spasmed.

“Bitten by a water demon.”

“Nehalennia?” Remus asked.

“Njord,” Severus said.

“So, is it the pain that interests you?”

“More the loss of control over the body. Pain is part of that, certainly. It makes one react in ways that are not driven by the mind…,” he made a short pause. “The power it holds over all of us is intriguing. So yes, I enjoy observing pain... and yes, exactly in that way,” he added, after a split second, probably seeing the question forming on Remus' face.

Severus looked at him for a moment, and Remus just nodded and looked around the hallway, which was apparently enough of a prompt for Severus to drop the topic. He gestured to the first door on the right, "This is the living room… the bathroom… the kitchen… and my bedroom.”

Severus opened the kitchen door and made space for Remus to enter. The first thing Remus noticed was that there were no windows, but some candles were lighting the dark wood of the counters and a table with two chairs. It was all in all a rather depressing sight.

Severus held his hand out and Remus gave him the bag he had been holding all this time.

“I didn’t know what you like, but I thought I could make a curry? It’s fast and hard to mess up… “

“Curry is acceptable,” Severus said.

“Great.”

“The house elves were nice enough to make some chocolate mousse. I don’t know how they manage to make it so airy and chocolaty at the same time… I have tried to replicate it over the years but I never quite managed.” He fished the chocolate mousse out of his bag and put it in the fridge before laying out the ingredients for the curry.

“Do you prefer to drink your potion before or after dinner?”

“Before I suppose, so I’m not stuck with the taste.”

Severus got the potion, while Remus spell-cut all the ingredients in the right size and started frying the onions, garlic, meat and mushrooms.

“So you wanted to talk…,” Remus said when Severus had returned. He had tried to find another topic, but couldn't come up with one, he thought Severus would enjoy. He probably couldn't keep up with any discussion about potions, and discussing the other teachers was rather boring. There was already plenty of gossip circulating and he didn’t care for more.

“Such things are better discussed after the meal,” Severus said, sitting down on one of the chairs.

“Sure,” Remus just said and then turned back to his cooking. The silence was a bit awkward, but Severus apparently didn’t mind. He had sat down on the table and watched Remus’ progress with mild interest for a while, before leaving for the living room. Remus sighed, half relieved, that there was no more pressure to strike up a conversation. Maybe that had been Severus’ plan?

Remus in turn slowed down his work at the stove and quickly found himself enjoying the task. Breathing in the scent of the fried ingredients, the sweet aroma of the onions, and the earthy one from the mushrooms. How he had missed this.

After he had set up everything to simmer for now, he wandered over to the living room, standing in the doorway.

The first thing he noticed were curtains drawn in front of one side of the room that promised windows and thus sunlight during the day. There was a dining table on the right and a sofa and two armchairs facing the fireplace. The whole room was lined with bookshelves that were crammed full of books.

“Are we eating here?”

“Yes, the living room is nicer,” Severus said. He sat on the sofa and put down the black notebook, in which he had been writing.

Remus silently thanked Merlin. He would probably get claustrophobic if he stayed in that kitchen for too long.

“Should we set the table, then?”

“I will do it.”

“Oh, it's fine. The Curry needs to simmer anyway, rice is cooking as well.”

Severus got up anyway, and both went back to the kitchen, where Remus tried to find the plates.

“On your left,” Severus commented, while he let the cutlery, two glasses and a wine bottle float towards him.

Remus raised an eyebrow at the bottle. “Alcohol?”

“I removed the alcohol, it’s safe for you to drink,” Severus informed him.

After they had set the table, Remus couldn’t help but drift over to one of the bookshelves. They were ornated with intricate carvings, but Remus was more interested in the titles.

“Those are the miscellaneous works, over there are dark arts and the defence against them, and the other side holds my collection of potion and herbology works,” he gestured to the bookshelves that lined the whole wall around the fireplace. While he spoke, he waved his hand at the bookshelf with an upward motion, to show books replacing themselves on the shelves and thus showing the sheer amount of books they truly held.

“May I?” Remus asked.

“Of course.”

Remus skimmed the section on dark arts. He recognized some of the titles. Severus had a well-rounded collection of the most important titles, but more impressive was the vast majority of his collection: rare and obscure tomes, that promised knowledge not readily available. He pulled out one of the titles to skim the content page, but it didn’t have any. Nor an index in the back.

“Celtic ritual magic. It is an adequate introduction,” Severus commented.

“Do you have books on dark creatures,” Remus noted.

Severus waved his hand two times to rotate the display and then gestured to the side. “I find the spell work to be more engaging. This is all I have.”

Remus put the book about Celtic ritual magic on the table and went to the shelf, Severus had indicated. Severus pulled out a book about the uses of different curses in duelling and held it out for Remus to see.

“Ah, Shepard. I read that back in school,” Remus said and took it. It brought back memories of late nights in their dorm, trying to master some of the nastier jinxes for… well Severus and other Slytherins.

The pages held many annotations, amending or correcting unclear instructions. He smiled at the book, then flipped to the front. He ran his finger over the table of contents until he found the spell he had been looking for and opened the corresponding page. Memories came back to him. Peter had frowned when he had read the page aloud trying to parse the instructions, while Sirius had grabbed his wand before Peter had finished the first paragraph and cast the spell on James, who had yelped and retaliated.

There were some corrections on this page, too, slight changes in wording, but apparently Severus hadn’t found any glaring mistakes.

“Perhaps you can use it in your 6th-year classes,” Severus said. “There are copies in the library.”

“Hm, I was going with Miller’s Introduction to Defensive Spells. This is a lot more offensive… And not quite as beginner friendly, if I remember correctly?”

“Mr. Shepard expects the readers to think,” Severus said. “Sadly, something that cannot be assumed even in NEWT level courses.”

“Well, thank you. Maybe I can assign it for some advanced reading. Yes, that might actually be a good idea,” Remus said. He closed the book with a small thump and put it where it had left a gap between the tightly packed books. Stepping back, he took the shelves in. “You have quite a collection,” he said, gesturing at the room at large.

“Books seem to accumulate,” Severus nearly sighed, and Remus smiled with a feeling of longing at the treasure he was surrounded by. How much would he like to be able to say the same? Usually, he used libraries or bought his books used and resold them when he was done. Spelling muggle books to look like new could even bring in some money. Sadly that did not work for magical books. Wizard bookshop owners knew their repair spells much better than he did.

There were few books, he had kept over the years. Ones, that he couldn’t let go of, because memories were attached to them, like the one Lily had gifted to him for his birthday just months before she had died. Or they were just rare treasures he had come across. And of course, the handwritten tome with beautifully detailed and coloured ink drawings of magical creatures, that his mother had given him for Christmas when had still been a child.

There was some noise from overboiling rice in the kitchen and Remus hurried over to lift the lit and lower the heat.

Severus hovered at the door.

“Since when do you teach here?” Remus finally asked, when the silence stretched out.

“’81” Severus said.

“That’s quite some time….”

“Yes,” Severus said and there was another pause.

“So, do you enjoy teaching then?” Remus asked.

Severus shot him a look and then raised an eyebrow. “Do I make that impression to you?”

“I suppose not,” Remus said. “But you are still here 12 years later.”

“This position holds certain advantages.”

“But if you could keep those, you would stop teaching?” Remus asked and added coconut milk to the curry.

“In the middle of taking points, if the opportunity would present itself.”

Remus snorted softly. “What would you do instead?”

“Research,” Severus said.

“Potions?”

Severus nodded. “I publish articles from time to time. They are usually well received.”

“Oh really? I didn’t know. But then I don’t usually read magazines on potions.” Remus stirred the curry slowly and then drained the rice.

“You never had much interest in the topic, if I remember correctly.”

“Mhm, I certainly can see how one could find them fascinating…” Remus volunteered.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“You know, it's similar to…” Remus stopped himself.

“Cooking?”

Remus shrugged, not wanting to get into that discussion again.

“Then you should like brewing.”

“Yes, well. I never really got into it. I think…,” he stopped. James and Sirius never had taken potions seriously. Well, they hadn’t taken anything seriously, really. But Potions had always been a special case. They both hadn’t needed to try, because Slughorn had given them good grades for their surnames alone. Peter had done the same, though, without the benefit of free grades, he had dropped the subject after fifth year. And after Remus had tried in his first and second year, and Slughorn had completely ignored him in class and never gave him more than an Acceptable he had gone along with how his friends treated the subject.

Remus shrugged. “It just wasn’t my favourite subject. I did look up the recipe for the Wolfsbane Potion, but it is so far beyond my skill level… Well, I can make a passable pain relief potion. Though, yours is of course much better.”

“What do you use?”

“It’s based on Panther’s Cap and Adder Venom. With clover, Gnome Hair, apples…”

“That’s… a very old recipe,” Severus said slowly.

“Perhaps, but the ingredients are easy to come by.” Everything could be found in the wild if you knew where to look.

Remus gave the curry a last stir and put it and the rice in bowls and levitated them over to the dining room.

They ate in silence for a while. Remus nipped the wine, which tasted good. He had no idea about wine beyond that, so he didn’t comment, and Severus didn’t seem to expect him to.

“I don’t understand,” Severus finally said after a few minutes of silence. “You have a hard-to-manage blood curse and you never looked into potions for relief.”

Remus chewed a fraction longer than was strictly necessary before swallowing and he remained Severus, “I’m doing the pain relief potion.”

“It’s hardly a potion at all,” Severus sniffed. “One would think you would make it a priority to brew a passable Wolfsbane Potion, muscle relaxant and a pain relief potion that deserves the name.”

“In theory that is a nice sentiment. In practice…” he shrugged. “It’s a very involved hobby.”

“It’s not a hobby if you require those potions.”

“Severus, I would struggle to afford the ingredients for any pain relief potion, let alone the wolfsbane. Why do you think I use one, that, as you so aptly put it, is hardly a potion at all?” Remus' voice was still calm, but the smile he usually wore had dissipated.

“How much money can you spend on potions each month?” There was a strange gleam in Severu's eyes, that Remus couldn't quite place and he spoke faster than usual.

“That rather depends,” Remus said. “And it's not that important.”

“A rough estimate would help,” Severus said.

“You really needn't bother…” Remus tried.

“I’ll assume as little as possible, then” Severus decided.

“It’s the new laws,” Remus sighed. His life hadn’t been ideal before, but now it was nearly impossible to find a job.

Severus looked at him for a moment, or more like through him, and then said, “Amegnu’s Serum of Comfort. Dittany, ginger, black cat hair and Castor Oil. It’s more potent than Panther’s Cap and has some relaxing properties and even a first-year could brew this. The potency is thoroughly enhanced by the spells chanted during the brewing process, which of course, a first-year could not do.

“Caster Oil lies at about three to five Galleons a bottle. This potion doesn't profit as much as others from good quality ingredients, so let's say three. Since the potion only requires seven drops, it would be an investment that would last you a few years. Maybe five, which brings the monthly amount to roughly 12 and a half Knut. Which would leave Ginger as the most expensive ingredient. Cat hair and Dittany leaves can be acquired through foraging.”

With that settled, he went back to eating.

“Uh, thank you, I’ll try it,” Remus said, and all he got in return was a grunt and a nod. “I assume the recipe can be found in the library?”

Severus looked up from his plate and frowned. “No I don't think so, it is rather niche and very old. I will copy it for you.”

“That would be nice. Thank you, Severus.” And after a few moments, he said, “I never heard of a potion that can be made more potent with spells… It does sound useful. Why didn't we learn about this in school?”

Severus looked up from his plate, with the hint of a smirk. “How comprehensive do you want my answer to be?”

“Let's say a paragraph or two.”

“The practice of enhancement spells was used widely from the early middle ages but has lost its popularity since the start of the century. 50 or so years ago some purists advertised against it and the practice hasn’t been mentioned much in publications ever since. I personally believe that some of those purists didn’t have the magical finesse to do it right.

“The second and more important reason is that it is not as useful as you may think. The ingredients for this potion are magically rather weak. So the magic put into the brew through the spell will not cause many problems, even if applied sloppily. In more complex potions, the tiniest mistake in the spell, just a bit too much or too little magic, can have catastrophic effects. It is very rare to have no alternative to spells. Especially seeing how many ingredients from other parts of the world are becoming readily available.

“As for the curriculum, it was covered in the NEWT courses, but only theoretically. Since I have taken over the class seventh-year students receive practical training as well.”

By the time Severus was done, Remus had finished his second helping of curry, while Severus had stuck with his one plate.

“That were at least three paragraphs,” Remus complained mildly.

Snape raised an eyebrow. “Have I overburdened you with potion knowledge? Does it hurt?”

Remus grinned. “Yes to the first and no to the second. It was actually very interesting. Mousse?”

Severus declined, though he did raise an eyebrow at the mountain on Remus’ plate.

Remus laughed. “It’s one of the very few advantages of being a werewolf, you have to try very hard to gain weight. Don’t you even want to try?” Remus gestured at the mousse that was still left on the serving bowl.

“It’s the same mousse the house elves make on other occasions, I assume?”

“The same one, that is served in the great hall, if you mean that.”

“Then, I have tried it.”

“Not a fan?”

“It’s made to fit the taste of children, which I assume explains the exorbitant amount of sugar.”

It was rather sweet, but in Remus’ book, that really wasn’t a problem at all.

“Would sweets work well for you as a small reward?” Severus asked.

Remus thought for a moment and then smiled. “Well,” he said slowly. “If… I mean a slave wouldn’t need treats, right? But if I was your pet that would probably be appropriate.”

“My pet?” Severus said, raising an eyebrow.

“Since you insist on calling me Wolf, I thought it would fit the theme, and I really don’t care to be called a slave. A pet also needs training.” He had put some thought into it.

“You realise that the word ‘pet’ has other implications?”

“Yes, but… I mean does it matter?”

“I suppose not.” And then the small frown on Severus’ face lifted, and he said almost amiably, “Very well, then. Any more dessert?”

When Remus shook his head, Severus flicked his wand and the dishes disappeared, presumably back into the kitchen.

“Now, the purpose of this evening is to talk about how we would like to proceed,” Severus said. “I suggest we move to the sofa.”

Remus followed Severus and sat quickly when Severus gestured to one of the armchairs.

“I presume from what you have said this evening, that you would like to continue our meetings?” Severus began.

“Yes,” Remus said. “Very much.” He paused for a moment. “Do you?”

“Yes, I would like to continue as well. Tell me your thoughts on what we have done so far,” Severus said.

Remus smiled mostly out of embarrassment. But he leaned back. Severus had vanished the wine with the dishes, but he could really do with one right about now—preferably with alcohol in it. But all Severus had offered had been tea, which Remus had declined.

It seemed to Remus, that he had said all that before, but he quickly went over what they had done until then and declared everything to his liking in various degrees. “I think I like the idea of not being in control of my body…” Remus mused at the end. It was a bit ironic when he thought about it.

There was a pause before Remus found the courage to say more. “The potion you gave me the other night, too. It made me feel like… I was, I needed to be—Uhm—I couldn’t be trusted, so you had to take precautions, to force me not to…” he stopped noticing how much sense his rambling made, which was none at all. “Well, I couldn’t be trusted, so you needed to take control over me,” Remus said after he had thought it over for a moment.

“So, you would prefer for me to physically prevent you from climaxing?”

Remus nodded. “I think that would be fun, yes. At least to an extent…”

“How would you like it to be accomplished? Potions?”

“Or… other methods. There—uhm, there are small cages…” he said and stopped when Severus nodded and spared him the explanation of what exactly he meant.

Then Remus looked up. “What do you think about the last month then?”

“Generally speaking, you follow orders well and take punishment without complaint. I feel you generally want to follow my lead, and you are eager to learn, which I both appreciate.” Severus said evenly.

“Uh,” Remus said, having blushed wildly while Severus had spoken. “So, you liked what we did?”

“Yes,” Severus said. “Is there anything you would like to try next?”

“Uhm,” Remus said, having thought about it since Severus had told him yesterday. “Yes, I think I have a few ideas…”

“Go on, then,” Severus said.

“But what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well, are there things you want to do?”

“Of course, there are many things. But since I am the one deciding what we do, it is more important for me to know what you like than vice versa, don’t you agree?”

“I suppose,” Remus said.

“So, what would you like?” Severus prompted.

“I thought it would be nice to have a sort of… ritual for when we start and finish. I would maybe officially hand you my wand or something in that vein. At the moment it is sometimes a bit diffuse when it starts and ends, I think.”

Severus nodded, “I will keep that in mind. Anything else?”

Remus blushed. “You… you should be able to touch or use me however you like when I am… Er–your pet. You could bind me, give me potions, or use spells on me without telling me what they do. Like… examination spells or… hide my scars, you know… “ he winced, at those words, it had just been the first thing that had come to mind. “Things that make me feel I’m not in control. You should punish me if I resisted…”

“You want to feel my dominance over you.”

Remus nodded, which Severus acknowledged in turn with a nod.

“You said you did not want to be degraded,” Severus went on. “Shaming you for your scars would be just that.”

“Well, I don’t want you to, you know, tell me they are… well, disgusting. But you could just say, it’s so you can—uhm, enjoy me better, or I could serve you better.”

Severus was quiet for a moment. “I had the opposite in mind, actually. I intended to ask you to drop those glamour charms.”

Remus hesitated and after a few moments Severus asked, “Is that a sensitive topic?”

“No,” Remus said slowly.

“But?”

“They are not… nice to look at.”

“I have seen your scars,” Severus said. “If you are opposed to it, we will not do it, of course.”

Remus nodded.

“Anything else?”

“Well, you—uhm—said keeping you company and doing chores?”

“Would you like that?”

“I think so,” Remus said. Severus raised his eyebrow again, and Remus added. “I’d like to do chores, maybe? Uhm—you know cooking, cleaning or helping you with whatever you are doing. It can be unpleasant, too…”

“And what would I expect of you, when you kept me company?”

“Well, that’s for you to decide, isn’t it? You can tell me to lay on the floor and look—I mean show you…everything,” Remus mused. “Bow to your feet… hold your wine…”

“And those sessions would be separate to or include training?”

“Either would work, I think,” Remus said.

“It matches what I would have imagined to a large extent,” Severus said and waited for Remus to say anything else, but when nothing came, he continued. “You said in the very beginning, a cage could be used to tug someone away safely for the night. Is that still something you would like to try?”

“Yes,” Remus said. “As long as I can comfortably sleep in it.”

“Naturally.”

“But what about you?” Remus said. “You said you liked pain? I mean when you… you know, outside of punishments?”

“Yes, that is one example. But you said you didn't.”

“Well, I am there to… please you, right,” Remus said rather quickly, swallowing a lump before continuing. “You should be able to do whatever you want. I think it is one aspect of what I spoke about earlier… When… when I am your pet, you can decide…” he said and then he added. “Though, maybe not too much pain. We would have to try it out, I suppose.”

“Would that enhance the experience for you?”

He liked the idea of suffering while someone else drew enjoyment from it. Being used as a toy was certainly not meant to be fun for him, and the potion, the denial of pleasure, had been frustrating, but he had immensely liked it. He couldn’t still quite pinpoint why. But maybe pain would do the same?

“I think so. I don’t want to feel like I have a choice in what you do. I’m but a thing…” he stopped.

“Alright,” Severus said in a level, nearly controlled voice.

“You don’t seem happy?”

“I just don’t want to give you the impression I am pushing you in either direction.”

“You aren’t,” Remus said. “Really, you are so patient with me in this…”

Severus grunted and then drew a lengthy scroll of parchment from his robes. “This is a list of practices that apparently are commonly done. I want you to go through it. Mark what you have already done and how much you liked it. If you haven’t, I would like to know if you are willing to try, and how eager you are about it. I will attempt to incorporate the things you like or want to try, and of course, will never make you do anything you don’t. This way I don’t have to ask each time.”

Remus took the scroll tentatively, read the first lines and blushed. “Okay, I will go through it.”

“You may also write down other ideas you have or things you think I should know, fears, things that might trigger… responses, physical limitations, that sort of thing.”

Remus nodded in understanding. After that Remus was happy to leave this part of the evening behind. These conversations were always awkward and tiring.

“I transfigured a cage for you to sleep in,” Severus said. “Would you like to see it?”

“Yes, absolutely,” Remus said sitting up.

“Only with your collar on,” Severus said. “I think that should be part of the ritual you suggested.”

Remus nodded and asked, “Tonight?”

“If you want. We can make ourselves a quiet evening, no training. You can try out the cage, and if you like, sleep in it.”

Remus nodded again.

“What do you usually do in the evening?” Severus asked.

“When I am not with you or working, I tend to read or go for walks… Sometimes I listen to music,” he said with a smile. “How about you?”

“I am sure you have surmised that I spend the majority of my free time researching or brewing.”

“Do you like music?”

“There are times when I don’t mind music enough to get annoyed by its presence,” Severus said dryly, with just a hint of amusement somewhere in the background, that made Remus smile.

“Are there rules for me to follow, when we spend time like this?” Remus asked.

“You are to follow my orders and be respectful,” Severus said and then paused. “You are certainly not allowed on the sofa. But I think we shouldn’t overdo it with the rules for now. If you do something you are not supposed to, I will tell you.”

“So, I am allowed to talk and move however I please? Except for the sofa, of course.”

“Unless I tell you otherwise.”

“What about eye contact?”

“We can certainly add a rule about appropriate eye contact in the future. But as I said, it would be best to introduce one rule at a time.”

They sorted out some logistics and then Remus kneeled in front of Severus. It was the same feeling he had when entering the cellar. A pleasant buzz of excitement ran through him, straight to his crotch. He bowed his head and offered Severus his wand, which Severus took and stored away in his robes, before leaning down and fastening the collar around Remus’ neck.

“Undress,” was Severus' first command.

Remus made short progress with his robes and shirt before Severus said, “Stop. Stand still.”

Remus stood still, letting Severus run a hand over his chest, while Remus’ arousal grew, and his breathing quickened. But he resisted pushing against the hand on his trousers, while Severus’ other hand started to twist his right nipple lightly.

“Does this hurt?”

“No, Master.”

Severus' hand twisted harder until Remus started to draw in a deep breath.

“Too much?” Severus said.

“No, Master,” Remus said. “You can… you can hurt me,” Remus said. “It is your right. If it is what you like…”

Severus pinched with his fingernails, and Remus breathed through the pain like he usually did when the transformation started. Long deep breaths, like Severus had asked him to do while climax training. It wasn’t even close to the pain from the transformation or the cane.

“How is that?”

Remus breathed out a sigh when Severus released him.

“Bearable. You may even go further if it pleases you.”

But Severus didn't. Instead, he took a step backwards and said, “Take off your trousers and socks.”

"Yes, Master."

Remus got rid of his clothes quickly and gathered them with his shirt and robes that lay littered across the floor and put them in a sloppily folded stack on the sofa. Meanwhile, Severus sat down on the Sofa again. Remus hastily fell to his knees at Severus’ feet. He contemplated bowing for a moment. But he didn’t know if Severus would like it, so he kneeled.

“I see, the training hasn’t been a complete waste of time,” Severus commented.

“I hope so, Master.”

“Your shoulders are a bit stiff,” Severus said. “Remember, tension in your belly and back, relaxed shoulders. Roll them back and let them fall.”

Severus let him sit like this for a few more minutes. Then he leaned forward and ran over Remus’ cheek with the back of his hand and down to his chin. “Such a pretty little pet I have…” he said quietly. Then he leaned back, ignoring Remus’ blush. “Now, I think the kitchen needs some cleaning. Come back when you are done.”

“Yes, Master, gladly,” Remus said and got up.

“There is an apron behind the door. You may use it.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“That was fast. Are you sure you want me to inspect your work?” Severus asked when Remus had returned. He had made short process of the dishes, wiped down the counters and the table and put the leftovers in the cupboard with a permanent stasis spell.

“It’s not the first time I cleaned the muggle way, Master,” Remus said with a faint smile. Standing close to the door, not sure, what Severus—his Master—expected him to do.

“Oh?” Severus said.

“Muggle roommates, Master,” Remus said.

“Interesting choice,” Severus said. “Kneel while I examine the kitchen."

Severus walked quietly and the walls were very thick, so when Severus had left the room, Remus couldn’t hear much. He was quite confident that the kitchen was at least as clean as he had found it this afternoon. But he still felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard Severus reappear in the doorway. He forced himself to not turn his head and keep in position, while he really wanted to look up for a hint of the verdict.

“You did well.”

“Thank you, Master.”

Severus moved over to the sofa and beckoned Remus with two fingers. “Come here. Crawl.” Then he flicked his wand, and a huge iron cage appeared between the coffee table and the fireplace.

With Severus’ permission, Remus crawled over to inspect it more closely. It was a bit smaller than the length and width of a normal one-person mattress. Inside was a mattress, a pillow and a blanket. The cage could be opened at the top and one of the ends.

“Can I try it out, Master?” Remus asked after he had looked it over for a few minutes, imagining how it would feel.

“Of course.”

Severus opened the door on the side, with a murmur and a flick of his wand, and Remus poked his head inside. When he was halfway in, he went back outside.

“Anything wrong?”

“Uhm, not really, but I think I would like it more if I could sleep the other way around. May I, Master?” Remus said tentatively.

“You may.”

“Thank you, Master.

Remus went in backwards, and Severus watched him, while he carefully retrieved the pillow from the other end of the cage.

There was a small comfort blanket that had been underneath the bigger one. When Remus looked at Severus, he just let his mouth twitch for a moment and did not comment. Remus put it next to the pillow.

The cage was not high enough for him to sit up, but he could crouch and there was enough space for him to draw up his legs when he was laying close to one side of the cage. He stiffly lay on his back, looking up through the bars, and after a few moments, he rolled over on his side like he usually slept for a few moments.

He rolled over to his back and looked up to his master. “Can we try with a closed door, Master?”

Severus did as Remus had asked. Remus rolled around a bit more testing out how much space he had and then lay still trying to imagine sleeping in there.

“Do you like it?” Severus asked.

“A lot, Master,” Remus said. He touched the iron bars above his head.

“Do you want to sleep in it tonight?” Severus asked.

“Yes, Master.”

“Do you have any tasks tomorrow?”

“Yes, Master, I think I would have to go after I made your breakfast—if you want me to make it, that is,” Remus added hastily. He didn’t want to presume.

“Very well. Come out now.” Severus opened the door again and waited for Remus to exit before he spoke again. “The cage is enchanted with spells that will inform me if you are in physical or mental distress. If you call my name—Severus or Master will both work—while inside I will know.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“We can also install a safe word for you so the door will open if you need it to if that would ease your mind.”

“No, Master, I think I like it this way,” Remus said. Physical restraints were much more fun in Remus’ mind than the threat of punishment. He loved the gag for that reason, too.

“Now, it’s still half an hour to your curfew,” Severus informed him.

So, he had a curfew now. Remus smiled.

“Yes, Master.”

“You may do however you wish for now. Maybe browse the bookshelves and satisfy your curiosity.”

“I really would love to go through your collection one day. But… may I… bow before you?” Remus asked. The books could wait.

“You may,” Severus allowed. He turned and picked up his notebook from coffee table. “Without your undergarments.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and quickly stripped, while Severus sat down. Remus crawled closer to Severus and then kneeling he put his head to the floor, his hands next to his head. Severus’ feet were only centimetres away from his face. The rug was soft under his knees.

“Stretch your arms, put your hands in front of your head, cross your wrists.” Remus followed the command. When no further commands came, he assumed Severus was pleased and stayed like this. “You will not disturb me while I read,” Severus said after a few moments, and then Remus could hear him lean back and open his notebook.

It was different to kneel for training and bow like this, while his master was reading. It was a lot easier to think of Severus as his Master like this. Not just of a trainer or something. Like he belonged to his Master's life somehow, maybe even shared his life. As a pet.

The position was less straining for his feet, though his knees and elbows started hurting at some point, but Remus ignored them. Instead, he listened to the rustle of pages being turned every now and again. His mind spinning stories about a pet living with its Master. Waiting for him to come back home, preparing dinner, and most importantly making sure his Master was happy all around, and deservedly being punished if he wasn’t.

“Wolf, what did I tell you?” Severus asked and closed his book with a slight thud.

“Master?”

“Not to disturb me while reading.” There was a trace of humour in the words.

“I’m sorry, Master,” Remus said, not sure what he had done.

“It’s my own fault, for allowing you to look this… gorgeous. Let’s make you look even more so, shall we?”

“Whatever you wish, Master.”

“Stay like this but lift your backside. Arch your back… Yes, like that.” The last words were more a purr than anything else. A shiver ran down Remus’ spine, which was flowed by Severus’ hand running a similar path, only stopping at his backside. Remus could feel a cleaning charm, and then there was some wetness and fingers entering him. He held still and tried to concentrate on his breathing, but his whole body was tense in anticipation—yet again.

“Are you okay with pain like this?” Severus asked. He slightly spread two fingers inside of Remus to leave no doubt of what he meant.

“Yes, Master. Whatever pleases you.”

“What will you say if you want me to stop?”

“Red, Master.”

“Good,” Severus said close to Remus’ ear and moved back.

Then Severus pressed into him, slowly but mercilessly, and Remus bit down a hiss. There was a brief moment when his body wasn’t sure if he was feeling pleasure or pain and Remus felt a shudder run down his spine. And then it shifted, and the pain overtook the pleasure. Remus winced, but didn’t move, just balled his hands to fists and tried not to whimper. He moved his arms, so he could better hold his position when Severus started to thrust into his still tight backside.

Then he remembered that Severus did like the show of pain, so he let himself gasp a few times.

Severus seemed to take great care not to thrust against Remus’ prostate. The only time he did and Remus gasped, he moved his angle. After that, and with the pain lessening, Remus’ whole body was tense and ready, again. God, how much he wanted to just put a hand around himself and…

There was the softest sigh behind him when Severus thrust into him one final time and stayed like that for a few seconds. Remus waited until Severus had pulled out. There was rustling of the robes. Remus closed his eyes and slowly relaxed, putting his head on the floor, but left his back arched and his backside in the air. He could feel something running down the inside of his legs.

“Are you in pain?”

“A bit. It’s alright, Master. I… I like that I could help you… relax.”

Severus snorted softly. “I will make sure there is nothing that needs tending to.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said and a second later he felt the soft tingle of an examination spell that very nearly sent him over the edge. He gasped and clenched his hands, concentrating on the pain of his nails digging into his palm. He bit his lip and breathed a couple of times until he had himself under control. Merlin, he wanted to come. He hoped Severus would not touch him, because he was very sure he would not be able to control himself then.

“Well done. You did not seek out your own pleasure.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said. “The… the pain helped,” he admitted.

“Sit.” And when Remus did, carefully, as his backside still hurt, Severus continued. “Can you imagine doing this more often?”

“Yes, Master, please, let me serve you in this way.” Remus made a quick bow. It had hurt, but not too much, and it had also done something to Remus, that he had more enjoyed than the pain had bothered him. It was the same thing he had told Severus earlier that evening. The feeling of someone else being in charge of his body. He would have liked Severus to be more assertive. But he supposed they were still getting to know each other.

“I will, don’t worry,” Severus said. “It’s your bedtime. You may use your wand for personal hygiene. You have five minutes.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said. His elbows and knees he had supported himself with were sore, and his stupid hip was acting up again, as it always did close to the moon. But he took them as a token of his service to his Master, as well as the dull throbbing in his backside.

He took the wand Severus was handing him and quickly put a cleaning charm where whatever it was was running down his leg and then vanished into the bathroom, to clean the rest—and to use the time for a few well-placed cooling spells. He wondered if it was cheating. But Severus really couldn’t expect him to sleep any time soon like this.

“Get into the cage and wait for me on your back,” Severus told him from the sofa when Remus re-entered the room. The book he had been reading lay on the side table, and he had been staring into the fire in the hearth.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “Under the blanket?”

“Yes,” Severus said.

Severus got up a minute or two later, kneeled next to Remus and looked him over once. Not with desire, but something that Remus thought was a bit too close to concern.

“Do you need me to heal you?” Severus said.

“No, Master,” Remus said. “I quite like it, actually…” The pain had dulled to a soft ache, that acted like a nice reminder, just like the bruises from the punishments. And it certainly didn’t help his arousal at this point. Maybe he did like a little bit of pain? No, it was mostly the thought of how he had acquired it, Remus decided.

“Very well. You asked for assistance with your self-discipline issues,” Severus said. “In the long term, I expect you to not need any help. But since this is all very new to you and you haven’t been trained properly, I think this is the best way to deal with your indiscipline.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said, and fully expected to find himself restrained between the legs in some way, like the tiny cages.

“I will put these on your hands,” Severus said and held up what looked like leather pouches. “Hold out your left arm and make a fist.”

Which most certainly was much less exciting than what Remus had hoped would happen. Nonetheless, he held out his hand as commanded and Severus put the pouch on and gently closed the buckles. Remus inspected his hand, which was now surrounded by sturdy leather, giving him only enough play to loosen his fist slightly. He wondered if that would annoy him while sleeping.

“The other hand,” Severus said and held his hand out for Remus’ right hand. “There you go,” his Master said when the other hand was secured.

Remus felt rather strange when both of his hands were bound like this, uselessly formed into fists. He could probably still provoke accidents, but the logistics would not be as ingrained in him as they usually were. Hopefully. Though it wouldn’t help with anything else, that could cause an accident.

Remus tried to open his hands more forcefully, the bottoms felt like they could easily slip over his palm, but they didn’t move, and he felt the familiar tearing feeling on his skin, that indicated a sticking charm.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said.

Severus dimmed the fireplace down to an ember glow. “Remember to call for me, if need be,” Severus said.

“Yes, Master, thank you, Master.“

“Good night, Wolf,” Severus said and got up.

“Good night, Master,” Remus said and listened to Severus leaving the room and closing the door.

Remus stared into the dimly lit room for a long while letting the evening play out again. The cage had something soothing. It was like a barrier from the outside world. He couldn’t interact with the world, and the world left him at peace, as long as he was in here. The leather pouches and the cage keeping him safe–evidence that his Master took care of his pet.

Chapter Text

Remus had the feeling, he had just closed his eyes when he heard Severus’ voice cut into his dreams and pulled him up from the warm comfort of unconsciousness.

“Wolf, wake up.”

Remus blinked his eyes open. And it took him a few moments to figure out where he was: in Severus’ living room, the fireplace now cold, the only light was coming from the candles on the chandelier.

“Morning,” Remus managed, not sure if it really was morning. Then he blinked another time. It felt far too early to do anything like opening one's eyes. Maybe he shouldn’t have indulged for as long as he had in fantasies of being a pet and what his Master could do with him. But the evening had sparked his imagination, and the cage had featured prominently.

“Master, Good morning, I mean,” Remus corrected himself after a moment or two.

“Not a morning person?” There was definitely more amusement in Severus’ voice than Remus thought was necessary.

“Not on a Saturday,” Remus said and tried to convey that he really wanted to stay put, but Severus opened the door.

“It’s half past six.” Which did not explain why he was awake. Or why Severus thought he should be.

“Did something happen? Did you sleep badly?” Remus asked and rolled on his back to free himself from his blankets. He hadn’t been able to hear much through the thick walls and doors, but last he had checked before falling asleep, light had still seeped through the crack between door and floor from the hallway. So either Severus slept with the hallway lights on or he didn't have much more sleep than Remus did.

“Master,” Severus corrected him gently, but Remus couldn’t bring himself to do more than grunt softly, while he kicked his blankets away and tried to convince his body to move. “And no. I have slept perfectly well.”

“Great. But why so early?” said Remus. Severus was already fully dressed, his hair had seen a brush and he didn’t look sleepy in the least.

“I have my best ideas in the morning,” Severus informed him and Remus wasn’t sure if Severus was making a very dry joke or if he was sincere.

“No sweets, no music, no sleeping in on the weekends, what do you do for fun?” Remus murmured, as he rolled around to crawl out of the cage.

The pouches slowly became annoying as his finger made it clear that they wanted to be moved and stretched. And it was awkward crawling with his hands like this. It hadn’t annoyed him the night before, when he was so entranced with the fantasies his mind produced, where they had added to the experience.

There was a heavy silence and when Remus had made his way out of the cage, and looked up, he saw Severus looking pointedly down at him with an arched eyebrow.

“Uh, I'm sorry, Master,” Remus said, under the weight of Severus’s stare. “I didn't mean…” And since he was already close to the floor, he pressed his head to the floor, hoping it would appease his Master.

“I think we already established that that would be brewing and reading,” Severus answered the rhetorical question. He tapped the cane on the floor next to Remus’ head, which Remus interpreted as a warning to stop dawdling and get up. He could feel his backside from last night and moved accordingly carefully.

Apparently too careful, because Severus asked, “Are you in pain?”

Remus smiled and shook his head. “A bit sore, but no pain.”

“Go and make me breakfast, then,” Severus said.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “Uhm…” He lifted his hands.

“Of course,” Severus said, and the pouches were gone with a quick banishing spell. Then he handed Remus his wand back.

“Only for personal hygiene, you will return it before starting breakfast.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “What would you like for breakfast, Master?”

“Two slices of toast, butter and a strong cup of coffee.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. It seemed a bit meagre but it didn’t matter, Remus was quite happy to make any kind of breakfast for his Master.

Remus shook his hands and opened and closed them a few times when he was out of Severus’ sight. The best thing about restrictions like this was, Remus decided, to move after they were gone.

He hummed when he entered the kitchen. Even the fact that Severus didn’t have a toaster didn’t bother him much. Remus put the bread in a pan and heated it that way.

In the end, the edges got a bit too brown, while the middle didn’t seem brown enough. But he couldn’t do anything about that now, except scrape some of the darker bits from the edges.

When he was done and Severus sat down with an edition of the Daily Prophet, Remus didn't quite know what was expected of him. Severus seemed to be waiting for something as well. When nothing came, Remus asked, “May I sit at your feet, while you eat, Master?”

“Didn’t you say you needed to go?” Severus said.

“It’s still very early, Master. But if you want to eat in peace…”

“You may stay. The same punishment will apply as in training if you should leave position.”

“Yes, Master, thank you,” Remus said, fell into a kneeling position and then sat as still as he could make himself. He was staring straight ahead, sitting next to the table, he could only see Severus' knees and lower body. He could however hear the knife as it brushed over the toast, the clicking, when the knife was put down, the nearly inaudible tearing of the bread, the sound of a coffee mug being set down, all of it permeated with the folding and refolding of the newspaper, as his Master made his way through it. Remus found it relaxing. He really liked the domesticity of it, the simplicity.

Severus was done far too soon. He folded the newspaper one last time, and then a hand appeared on his head. “Well done,” Severus said, and Remus couldn't help but smile at the compliment.

“Well, I should probably be going, Master,” Remus said. He had no idea what time it was, but he felt like he probably would overstay his welcome if he didn’t go now. He got up, still only wearing the apron he had put on for making breakfast. He should have probably taken it off when he had been done handling hot things. Next time.

“I will bring your potion later,” Severus said, handing Remus his wand.

“And… about tomorrow,” Remus said. It would be the full moon.

“Yes?”

“Well, do you want to… watch?” Can I crawl in the cage again and feel safe?

“You seemed unhappy about my enjoyment of it.”

“Well,” Remus said, choosing his words carefully. “Let’s say it’s not my favourite night of the month. And it just feels strange to have someone be so… excited about it. I am not quite sure how I feel about it just yet. But it is still the best place for me to transform, and if you are getting something out of it, I won't complain.” Mostly because Severus was one of the few people that didn’t turn away with disgust or discomfort, when the conversation turned to his curse. Even his father had never really managed that.

There was a short nod from Severus before he made a sharp circle movement with his wand and the collar around Remus neck was gone.

“When will you be arriving tomorrow?”

“Hm,” Remus said. “Depends on if you want a grumpy werewolf around or not.”

“I do not mind either way,” Severus said slowly, but not quite looking at Remus.

“Then… around five? I could cook again, maybe? Moonrise is at 7:26.”

“Alright,” Severus said and sipped the last bit of his coffee. “A pet werewolf,” he murmured after a moment.

Remus hummed and couldn't hide a grin. “I hear they are quite a handful.”

“I can attest to that,” Severus said dryly and picked up the newspaper.

Remus slipped in the living room, to dress and found the recipe for Amegnu’s Serum of Comfort in a scroll on top of his clothes.

Back in his quarters, Remus had still had half an hour until the regular breakfast in the great hall started. He opened his windows and stared into the still dark grounds, trying to decide if he should go back to bed or be productive. The cold, clear air was enticing, and after the gloomy confinement of Severus’ quarters, a walk on the fresh cool morning air would be a nice change.

He wondered if Severus had had a say in his choice of office and quarters, while he made his way down the stairs to the grounds. Dumbledore had asked for his preferences. Maybe Remus should have asked for a kitchen. But now he felt it was rather too late for that.

“You may make dinner,” Severus said. “For both of us.”

It was the evening before the full moon, Remus had just received his collar and wore nothing but briefs. Maybe he should invest in something nicer than plain black ones.

Remus hesitated and then he carefully said, “It is not a good idea, Master.” When Severus seemed slightly confused by this statement, Remus specified, “During the transformation, Master, I–uh–tend to revisit my dinner.”

“I see. Ask the house elves for something you can eat now then.”

“Just ate lunch an hour and a half ago,” Remus explained. He usually had a second breakfast and a late lunch on the days of the full moon. It seemed to work best.

Severus nodded. “Very well, just for me then. What will you cook?”

“Would goulash be alright with you, Master?”

“I am not very fond of bell pepper,” Severus said. “I will write you a list with things you should avoid cooking.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said. “How about… just a stew then, without bell pepper?”

“Better,” Severus said and picked up a book.

“I could do something more elaborate… maybe creamed sliced veal?”

“Stew will be fine.”

Remus took his time with cooking this time. Cut the vegetables and meat by hand (he didn’t have his wand anyway at the moment) and fried everything that would taste better fried individually before throwing it all together to add water, spices and stock. With Severus occupied with a book, he didn’t feel the need to rush. He was tired and his headache was getting worse, but he didn’t have to think much about what he was doing, and it prevented him from just waiting.

When the stew just deeded to simmer, Remus went back to the living room, where Severus was still reading and scribbling notes in his notebook.

Severus’ offer to take whatever he wanted from the bookshelves still stood. After quickly going through the miscellaneous section, Remus chose a history book, because they usually didn’t require as much concentration as spell books. And, if he was honest, he did like reading about vampire politics and schemes. Their political influence had dwindled drastically in the last couple of centuries, but before then, they had held many high positions and had been famous for their convoluted intrigues. The longer and more elaborate the better; some famous ones had lasted for over a century. The one in the book he held, was definitely one of the more elaborate ones, with multiple double-paged flowcharts filled with tiny script and arrows, explaining the allegiances.

He was just at the point where one of the vampires was about to elicit a promise from some baron, by framing him for having been involved with a Muggle, when Severus decided it was time to eat. Remus had switched off the stove some time ago, and had asked Severus to put a charm on it to keep it warm.

“You may join me,” Severus said. He had left most of his orders as suggestions today, but Remus had taken them as commands. Still, it was not the same if he wasn’t going to get punished for disobeying.

“Yes, Master,” he said, following his Master. He set the table while Severus sat down and waited for Remus to serve dinner. He put some crème fraiche in the middle of the plate and garnished it with parsley before putting it in front of Severus with a slight bow.

“Thank you, Wolf,” he said.

“My pleasure, Master,” Remus said and kneeled next to him, wondering if a Master should thank his pet for doing the things it was ordered to do.

“Have you tried nourishment potions?” came Severus' question at some point without any context.

“Uhm, yes, once in class, Master”

“I meant on nights of the full moon.” Something of Remus’ confusion must have shown, because Severus said, “They are absorbed into the body in a manner of seconds and will not sit in your stomach.”

“Oh,” Remus said. “No, I haven’t, Master”

“Do you wish to try?”

Remus thought for a moment and then nodded before he remembered that Severus wanted him to speak up, so he said, “Yes, Master, it is worth a try. Though I hope you are prepared for it to go badly.”

“It will not,” Severus proclaimed and summoned a vial.

“Open your mouth and look up,” he ordered. Then he bent down, holding Remus' chin up and slowly and carefully tipped the potion into Remus's mouth bit by bit. Remus choked two times but finally, the vial was empty. He still coughed, whatever had made it down the wrong tube, when the sensation suddenly stopped. Remus looked up in thanks, but Severus was nowhere near his wand with his hands, putting the cork back into place.

Remus must have still looked slightly confused, because Severus, who had turned back to him raised an eyebrow in question.

“It vanished,” Remus said. “Uh, the potion, from my airways.”

“I did tell you it absorbs.”

“It doesn't have to be swallowed?”

“No, it only needs to be inside your body.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said, trying to get the fool taste from the potion out of his mouth. It tasted like oily fish with a sweetness that made it even worse.

Why couldn’t potions taste good?

And how come the taste stayed, when the potion was absorbed?

Remus pressed his lips together and waited for a few moments, maybe it hadn’t counted as inside his body. But that didn't help either.

He waited for Severus to return to the living room before he drank a glass of water, which worked... mostly. He cleaned the kitchen and was glad to sink back on his cushion on the living room floor, not taking his book back up but resting his head on the arms he had crossed over his drawn-up knees.

“You are unwell,” Severus stated after a while.

“Well, that’s how it goes, Master,” Remus responded with a shrug. He had thought about keeping up the façade, but he didn’t want to keep it up for the foreseeable future if this continued. It was so exhausting.

“You will tell me if you need or wish me to do anything,” Severus said rather stiffly.

Remus smiled. “I wouldn't mind for time fast forward to tomorrow. But, no, there is nothing you can do…”

Severus’ searching gaze rested on him for a few more moments, before he returned to his book and Remus decided that he wanted to be in front of the fireplace, where it was warm.

The night was unremarkable and went much the same as the last one. The nourishment potion fad worked as advertised. This time, Severus got more involved in his attempts to walk and helped him coordinate his limbs with words or touches of the cane. When Remus had enough, he lay on the rug, and Severus sat next to him in his armchair until he went to bed.

When Remus woke up, he found himself in his cage, covered by an extra blanket. He vaguely remembered Severus giving him the same potion as last month after he had transformed back, making him fall asleep. His cage had been moved between the back of the sofa and the bookcases. A much more secluded position, that Remus thought fit far better than being in the way in front of the fireplace.

For the first time Remus saw the room lit not only by candles and the fireplace but by actual sunlight. The windows were tall, reaching down to the floor. He had a good view out of the window set only a couple of metres above the lake's water level, making for a great view across the lake and the soft hills behind it.

Remus admired the view for a few minutes before he rolled on his back. He was stiff but nothing unexpected hurt. When he turned his head, he could feel the collar around his neck. His heart made a little jump. He had given it back to Severus before the transformation, and it had been a bit awkward during the night because he hadn’t been sure if he was supposed to be a pet or not. And he had the feeling Severus hadn’t either.

Shortly after, Severus noticed he was awake and made him go to the bathroom, and ordered them both lunch from the house elves. The chair was uncomfortably hard, against his arching body, but the lasagna was heavenly; creamy and warm.

Remus raised an eyebrow when Severus took one of the small cherry pies the elves had brought as dessert.

“So you do eat desserts,” he said.

“Aren't you forgetting something, pet?”

“Sorry, yes. Master,” Remus hurried to correct himself. It was hard to remember when he was clothed and Severus phrased everything as a request that he was to be respectful.

“If you are referring to the chocolate mousse, I think I made it clear that it is unreasonably sweet.”

“So what kinds of desserts do you like then?” Remus asked. “I need to know if I want to cook for you, Master.”

“I don't require desserts,” Severus said.

“But…” Remus started but then trailed off. He liked baking, but not so much making other kinds of desserts, so it wasn’t that he really wanted to make them regularly. “Alright,” he said. “If you change your mind, just tell me, Master.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Are you giving me orders?”

“I request having all the information I need to serve you the best way I can, Master.” Remus was rather satisfied with the twitch of the corners of Severus’ mouth.

After they had finished, Severus suggested for Remus to go back into his cage to sleep more.

“May I read instead, Master?” Remus asked. He was tired. But he didn’t want to sleep. It felt like giving the Wolf even more of his time than it already took.

“Take the potion, Wolf,” Severus said and drew a vial from his robes. “If I feel you have rested enough, I may even have some fun with you this evening.” Remus had to hide his grin at that obvious bribe, but he agreed.

When he woke up, the sun had already set, it was the beginning of December after all, but Remus was sad to see the curtains drawn. A complete day wasted on the damn curse. Severus allowed him to read, as long as he stayed put, so Remus was flipping through the history book, but not motivated to continue reading.

He really wanted to do something useful, grade some papers or work on his lesson plans maybe, but Remus was very certain that Severus would not allow it. He could go back to his quarters where Severus had no say, but he liked sitting with Severus, even if he seemed to be hiding behind books quite a lot.

Remus contemplated using the book as a pillow, but he was afraid that Severus would take it as a sign that he was not ready for “fun”, whatever that would entail. Maybe he would take him without stretching again. Well, he couldn’t be that tired, because his body quite agreed with that thought.

After a short hesitation, Remus rolled on his back, pretending to read, but occupying himself with the thought of what Severus may do with him, displaying his growing erection.

It took about ten minutes until Remus caught Severus staring at it, and when their eyes met, Remus smiled and went back to his book.

His plan had worked, because a few moments later Severus said, “You have not told me how you would like to come, whenever I will allow you to.”

“Do you want me to now, Master?” Remus asked, closing the book and looking up.

“Please do.”

“Well,” Remus started, he moved over to be closer to Severus and kneeled. “Of course, the Master always comes first. The pet should never be allowed until its Master is… satisfied. It is to be made clear that it is a generous gift given to the pet by its Master.” Remus said. “The Master should be in complete control of its pet, and be–well, assertive.”

“Is there a pose you prefer, or a way to be pleasured?”

Remus thought about it. “No, Master… I think it's most important that I feel I’m not in control. That's part of it.”

“I see. But what if I wanted to use a position you liked?”

“Hm,” Remus said. “It would be nice to look at you, I suppose.”

“Anything else?”

Remus hesitated for a moment, trying to formulate his thoughts into something that made sense. He gave up and settled on, “Maybe a handjob?”

“A handjob and you would prefer to look at me. Is this all?”

“Yes,” Remus said.

“You are easy to please,” Severus said. Then his tone changed when he ordered Remus to bow. Remus jumped into position, glad for some actual commands.

“You have been very good this last month, indeed,” Severus said and stood. Remus could feel the cane pressed against his backside before it was lifted, and Severus stepped around him. Anal then, maybe? But Severus continued talking. “You have learned a lot, put in the effort. I am very pleased with your progress.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said, remembering the first time he keeled, with a dry mouth and shaky hands. It seemed so long ago now. Yet, it had been just over a month.

“And you never once slipped up in your self-restraint,” Severus continued

“I quite enjoy giving up that part to you, Master.”

“I know, Wolf,” Severus purred. “Lay down for me.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and followed Severus’ gestured instructions to move to the rug in front of the fire, where the vampire book still lay. He put it to the side and lay down on his back, looking up at Severus, who was still standing, though the cane was nowhere to be seen.

Severus dropped to one knee beside Remus and his hand had begun to wander up and down Remus’ body. He circled Remus’ nipples and traced the landmarks, but avoiding his nether region and his glamour charms, that Remus had put on the worst scars when Severus had allowed him his wand for personal hygiene.

“You are tense, Wolf,” Severus said.

“It’s… nothing, Master,” he said.

“You understand that safewords can be used whenever you wish to, don't you?” He asked softly and stilled his hand.

“Yes, Master.”

Severus’ hand had stilled. “So why doesn’t my pet enjoy being pet?”

“I do, Master,” Remus said, and closed his eyes and forced his muscles to relax. “It’s just… uh, not what I expected.”

Severus nearly purred into his ear. “My pet does not tense when I touch it,”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. It wasn’t that he didn’t like to be touched. Maybe it was because some part of him wanted to just dissolve under the touch so much, it nearly hurt. But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

He concentrated on his breathing and the hand that slowly travelled across his body, sometimes running flat over his body, sometimes tracing him barely with a finger, and always leaving a tingling sensation behind. He closed his eyes and finally relaxed bit by bit. He would much rather for Severus to get on with it without… this.

“That’s it,” Severus said softly. “There you go…” Severus' hand came to a halt again. “In fact, you did so well today and the weeks before, that I will grant you a reward.”

“What reward, Master?”

“The Reward, I should say,” Severus said lightly.

Remus opened his eyes again and stared directly into Severus’ eyes.

“You will climax tonight, my Wolf. And you will look gorgeous doing so,” Severus' mouth was curled up, his eyes gleaming, lit by the fire of the fireplace. “But,” he said pointedly, “you will wait until I tell you to. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, suddenly not so relaxed any more and his body buzzing in anticipation. Severus stroked over his midsection and Remus had to suppress a deep yearning sigh.

Severus continued to wander around his body, tracing scars, and bones and muscles as they appeared in his path, down the underside of his feet, that made Remus yelp and draw up his feet.

“Ticklish?” Severus asked.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “Very much so.”

Gladly, Severus avoided that part of Remus' body from now on and finally tended to his private parts. He slowly circled them and then wandered away again, and drew closer, impossibly slowly, approaching where Remus wanted him to be and drawing away again.

Remus felt he was getting impatient now that he knew where the evening would lead. But he forced himself to relax, to not do anything that would lead his Master to think he was not worthy.

“Do you want me to touch you here?” Severus asked teasingly, and lightly brushed ever so slightly over the tip.

“Yes, Master,” Remus sighed.

“Be patient…” Severus said.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “May I beg, Master?”

“Do you like begging?”

“I think so,” Remus said.

“Very well, you may start begging when you get close to your climax.”

“Yes, Master. Thank you, Master. Do you not like it?”

Severus paused his hand and turned to face Remus. “It seems to undermine my authority. Remember, Wolf, you serve me, not the other way around.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “I will keep that in mind.”

Finally, Severus traced his length down with one finger and Remus groaned and lightly lifted his lips before he put it down hastily.

Severus grunted amused. “Don’t be impatient. You will come when I want you to, not one bit earlier. And this… will just make me want to draw it out even longer.” His low voice sent a pleasant shiver down Remus’ spine.

“I’m sorry, Master,” Remus said, looking up, but Severus' face was now facing the other direction where he was circling Remus' left kneecap.

“Fold your legs on your belly, and hold them with your hands to either side,” Severus said. “Put your knees outside your arms, so this,” he brushed over Remus' balls, “has more space.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and scrambled into the rather undignified position.

Severus resumed his teasing and finally slid down between Remus' cheeks, and massaged his muscles.

When he entered with one finger, Remus gasped a “Thank you, Master” and let finger after finger intrude into him, spreading him, readying him for his Master’s use until Severus moved position. Remus welcomed him with a satisfied sigh. This time, no potion or pain disguised the pleasure it gave him. He arched his back and pressed his feet against the hands that held them in place.

Severus started slowly, with both his hands on Remus' hips, which had started to ache again, but Remus barely noticed. He matched the steadily increasing rhythm of his Master until he found the spot, and Remus yelped and some pre cum dropped on his stomach. His master kept hitting the spot every now and again.

It was harder to hold himself together because Remus knew he would come tonight. It was just a matter of waiting, not denying himself. When he was just about to lose control, his sight tingling with white and black dots, he gasped, “Please,” between two pants. He pressed his eyelids together, and his feet into his hands to let out some of the energy that built up in him.

His master slowed down and started to direct his thrusts in less sensitive areas and slowly picked up the speed again. Remus grunted between clenched teeth. He was still so close… but he mustn’t… The blood in his ears buzzed and he felt hot and cold at the same time, and all in him screamed at him to finally… Then Severus suddenly stopped, and Remus could hear a soft sigh, and his Master pulled out. Remus nearly sobbed with disappointment.

“Shh, Wolf. You said it yourself, the Master needs to be satisfied first…” Severus said and lightly traced his hand over Remus’ cheeks, and then back to his erection, which was already seeping liquid in anticipation.

“And look how desperate you are…” Severus purred. “Do you want to come?”

“Yes, Master, please… please,” he gasped.

Severus stoked Remus' midsection and Remus bid his lips this time, and pressed all his pinned-up energy into his legs, against his hands.

“Is that how you ask for something, Wolf?” Severus teased him.

“Master, please, let me come, I dan't…” Remus brought out. “Please.”

Severus leaned back and looked Remus up and down for a second, before he purred, “Come for me my little Wolf.”

It didn’t need any more input from Severus, Remus just let go. His world narrowed down to the shuddering muscles that made his body elicit the warm fluid, and with it, all the desire and frustration from the last month shot out of him.

He lay on his back, panting, barely remembering where he was, feeling the relief in every pore of his body, barely noticing that his Master had switched position to sit next to him again.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus mumbled, unfolding his legs and letting his arms fall to the side, eyes closed and slowly his body relaxed, his breathing evened out.

“Thank you, Wolf,” Severus said and wiped his hair from his forehead. “For looking this gorgeous. As I told you you would.”

There was a short pause and then Severus continued, “Mhm… I like you like this…,” he spread the white liquid with one finger in small circular motions on Remus' stomach. Remus let it happen. He was no friend of playing with bodily fluids. But sperm seemed the least offensive one and he didn't want to move.

“Do you want to try?” Severus asked, scooped up some of it with his index finger and put it in front of Remus' mouth. Remus looked at him to figure out whether or not it was an order. Severus seemed to sense that Remus wasn’t thrilled so he cleaned the finger on Remus' chest and vanished it all with a spell.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said with a small sigh of relief.

“How are you feeling,” Severus asked.

“Amazing, Master,” Remus said, still dazed from the relief he had just experienced and probably smiling like an idiot.

“I mean, are you tired? Hurting?”

He was both, but he shook his head. He just didn’t want to leave the moment of bliss just yet, falling into a relieved sleepiness.

His Master let the improper answer slide.

“You are tired,” Severus said.

“A bit, Master” Remus acknowledged.

“Very,” corrected Severus.

“But so worth it, Master,” Remus mumbled.

“You will go to bed now. This was clearly too much for you.”

Remus tried to protest. But Severus put a finger over his mouth.

“You will sleep. Your only choice is whether you will do it here or in your quarters.”

“Can I stay here, Master? With you…” He didn't want to get dressed and have to walk back or use the Floo. It would just ruin the perfectly nice relaxed, tired state he was in.

“Of course, Wolf,” Severus said.

Remus rolled over and winced as his hip sent a spiking pain through his body. Severus helped him up, and he managed to hide the pain for the few steps to the cage. He crawled into it and Severus closed it. There was a brief touching of his cheek, but Remus was already half asleep.

Remus had put the list Severus had given him in his nightstand, the day he had received it. When he finally unrolled the scroll after he had finished his classes on Monday, he went through the list thoroughly.

Some things he didn’t have to think about much. Yes, he did like “Kneeling”, “Orgasm control/denial”, “Following orders”, “Denied/restricted wand access” and “Chores (domestic service/household)”.

There were things he would like to try, like “Wearing symbolic jewellery” and of course “Chains (bound with)” and “Bondage (light/heavy/all day/multi-day)”, “Movement restricting spells (full body/partial/all day/multi-day)” or “Spreader bars”. But he also was excited about at least trying “Restricted/temporarily removed sight (blindfold/spell)”.

There were things he thought he might like under certain circumstances like, “Medical Play/Examinations”, “Breath play”, “Body transformative spells” or “Face slapping”, though the latter only as a punishment… maybe? He wrote that down as well. It was hard to gauge how he would like those things. He liked the thought of “Being used as furniture” though he didn’t know if that might be boring after some time. But he at least wanted to try.

Then there were things he thought wouldn’t do much for him, but he might go along with it, if Severus liked it, like “exercise (forced)”, “clothing, chosen for”, though the idea of “food, chosen for/restricted” strangely excited him. He didn’t want it restricted in quantity, because he didn't feel like going hungry, but he did like the idea of, say, having Severus choose the meal he had for lunch.

There were also things he didn’t care for, but he thought were possibly good punishments, like “Sleep deprivation”, “Pain (severe)/Crucio” (he crossed out the curse) or “Chamber-pot use” maybe as part of a punishment where he wasn’t able to use the toilet, though he would probably die of shame. But then punishments weren’t supposed to be comfortable. He marked everything that seemed painful, but he thought he could handle with asterisks that indicated what they had already discussed.

And then of course there were the things he would never want to do, like “Scarification”, “Branding”, “Name-calling”, “Outside scenes” and “Modelling for erotic photos”.

He did write down some ideas he had thought of while reading through the list and to be careful with silver. He assumed Severus knew the basics, but Remus had done some research and testing on it years ago. You had to know what people could do to you in a war, after all, and nobody had really been able to explain, for example, what long exposure to silver did to him. It seemed to have a similar effect on him like large amounts of alcohol, without the drunkenness, but with the worst hangover, that had lasted for days.

He also added a list of spells and potions he was fine being used on him, suggesting Severus might add ideas to the list.

He felt much lighter and more relaxed today than he had the month before, so, even after so much thinking about potentially arousing topics, he didn’t have much difficulty switching gears and doing some more work.

He had planned out the whole week's lessons the week before the full moon, but he still had papers of his 5th and 7th-years to grade and he wanted to keep the weekend somewhat free in case Severus was up for something fun, so he’d better get a head start on the endless mountain of homework. Had he ever thought teachers gave them homework because they wanted to see their pupils suffer?

He was also about to start the topic of unforgivable curses with his 6th-years, and he still wasn’t quite certain how to approach the topic. He found it important for his students to have some kind of demonstration, and he was certain he could pull off all three if he put his mind to it. But he really didn’t want to conjure the state of mind that would let him. It would probably lead him to a very dark place in his mind.

Each of his predecessors had handled the topic differently, if at all. Most of them hadn’t bothered, and the few who had had only done the theory as far as he could tell from their (sometimes rather sparse) notes. Asking Dumbledore didn’t help either, because he couldn't or wouldn't answer.

Chapter Text

“Enter,” growled Severus after Remus had knocked at the door.

When Remus peaked in, Severus towered over two second years and was apparently amidst a rather stern lecture.

Severus glanced at him and his scowl seemed to lighten a tiny bit until he looked back at his students. “6 pm at Mr. Filch’s office. Now OUT!” he bellowed the last word. Remus carefully stepped out of the student’s way, as they fled.

“Bad timing?” Remus asked with a faint smile.

“No,” Severus grumbled and gestured for Remus to close the door. “Idiots, trying to be popular by endangering other students…” Severus sighed.

“Did anyone get hurt?”

“One first year is in the hospital wing. Thankfully, Mr. Sloane will make a full recovery.”

Remus nodded and then there was a somewhat awkward silence, while Severus apparently tried to get his temper under control. When the lines on Severus’ face had lifted enough, Remus dared to say, “So, how about caning your pet, to get rid of some of that anger?” He smiled to show it was a joke.

“If I ever did that, I would not be a suitable Dom,” Severus informed him. “And,” he added with a much softer voice, “I like the parts where you follow my orders unquestioningly and to the letter quite a bit more.”

“Oh, really?”

“One can make a person do many things by inflicting pain or other forms of punishment on them. But another person choosing of their own free will to accept one’s lead is… different.”

“I see,” Remus said. “But it wouldn’t be half as fun if there wasn’t at least the threat of punishment…”

Severus hummed and waved Remus through the door to the small hallway and down through The Cellar.

“Oh,” Remus said when he had stepped into the room. “I finished the list.”

He handed it to Severus, who skimmed over it and nodded a couple of times, while his eyes darted across the parchment. Remus had made a few last-minute adjustments, underlining that he really wanted a stern master, that wouldn’t let him get away with things.

“I will go over it in detail on the weekend,” Severus said, looking over the extensive notes on the back of the parchment. “You have been thorough.”

“Well, I thought it’s best to… be clear about certain things,” Remus said. It had been a lot easier to write those things down than voicing them with Severus’ dark eyes on him.

“Indeed.” Severus agreed, still reading the back of the list. “Is there anything else I should know? Sensitive topics?”

“None that I can think of.”

Then Severus looked up with a light crease between his eyebrows. “The glamour charms—you changed your mind on them?” Another of Remus’ last-minute changes.

Remus nodded and when Severus continued to look at him with a raised eyebrow, he explained, “I trust you to not be unkind about them.”

“Thank you,” Severus said after a moment, in which Remus looked everywhere but Severus. “Do you wish to do it yourself?”

“What?”

“The glamours.” And after Remus kept looking at him in confusion he said, “Do you wish to remove the glamour charms yourself before we start or do you wish me to do it..”

“Oh,” Remus said and lifted his shoulders a fraction in a suppressed shrug. “Do you want to…?”

“If you agree,” Severus said.

“Alright.”

“You will let me know when there is anything that you are not comfortable with. Even if you have agreed to it previously.”

“Yes. Uhm, should we start?”

“If you wish.”

Remus nodded and closed his eyes for a second. It probably looked a bit awkward, with his wand in his hand and Severus only a few feet away, but he concentrated on something else: He was a pet now. He would do whatever his Master wished. Submit to him. Surrender his body.

It didn’t quite work out as he had hoped, but it definitely helped in getting him at least somewhat in the right headspace. He offered Severus the wand with two hands and a bow of his head. He felt the warm pulse of his wand leave his hands and straightened, so his Master could put the collar around his neck. Severus carefully lined the little badge up, so it fell between his collarbones, as he always did.

“Undress and then stand in front of the table,” Severus ordered. He remained standing where he was and watched Remus stripping quickly and putting his clothes in a somewhat neat pile on the chest of drawers.

“Feet shoulder width, shoulders back, hands on your back,” Severus said when Remus stood as instructed.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and followed the order to the best of his ability. Severus lifted Remus’ chin with the cane and then let him stand like that for a few moments, piercing him with a gaze sharp as needles. Which was already enough for certain parts of Remus’ body to awaken.

“Do you remember when I told you to not hide from me, Wolf?”

“Yes, Master. I’m sorry,” Remus said. It was a bit forced, maybe, but the best he could do at the moment. He had for a moment thought about amending that he didn’t know it meant glamours, but he was sure it would sound hollow and ruin the moment.

“Why would you hide from me, Wolf?”

“I… thought you would like this better,” Remus said, slowly starting to get more comfortable in the role he played.

“You are not to make decisions, Wolf. Not unless I tell you to,” his Master said. “Do you understand?”

Remus swallowed. “Yes, Master.”

“Now about those…,” his Master said and lightly ran his finger over a glamour on Remus’ belly. Remus winced but managed to keep his position.

Then Severus let his wand slide out of his sleeve and removed the glamours one by one. Remus could feel the slight sensation of the spells on his skin lifting, leaving the parts of his body tingling until they had adjusted to the absence of the magic that had concealed them…

Remus kept a close eye on Severus’ face as he worked, watching for any disgust to show, but his Master’s face was mostly impartial. When he was done, Severus brushed over Remus's chest, down to his stomach again, as if to check if he hadn’t missed any of the glamours, and then trailed the hand to Remus’ face—and the scars that now lay bare. And that was when he had to look away.

“There. Look how pretty you are without those spells.” There was no sarcasm in his voice, but Remus found it nonetheless hard to believe, and the touch left the skin feeling strange. He wished Severus would just get on with it, and not draw even more attention to the whole thing. But Remus had implicitly agreed to it when he had allowed Severus to remove the charms. He reached up to touch his face without consciously deciding to do so but was stopped by Severus' hand.

“Hands,” Severus said after he had let Remus’ wrist go.

“Yes, Master.” Remus held his hands palm up and received his punishment for moving without permission. They weren’t hard or especially painful, but the act of someone hitting him as a punishment was still as exciting as the first time. Maybe more so, now that he wasn’t so nervous anymore. And it had drawn Severus’ focus away from his scars.

“Hands on your back,” Severus said. “I want you to remove the glamour before you surrender your wand to me from now on, do you understand?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

His Master nodded.

“Now, I have something for you.” Severus drew a small box from his robes and held it out for Remus to see.

Remus looked at the small box. “It looks like a box one would sell jewellery in, Master?”

In response, Severus opened it.

“A chain,” Remus said.

“Indeed. It will not look like one after I put it on you. It’s enchanted to change its form to whatever I desire and replace the chastity spell.”

“So it will alert you when I…?” Remus clarified.

“Yes.”

“This isn’t silver, is it?” But it wasn’t, he would have felt it. Still, he couldn't help but ask. Maybe the effect was hidden by spells.

“It’s Mercury. Obviously enchanted to be safe. Silver can’t hold the magic well enough.”

“Yes, Master. It could hold the enchantment you described, though, if one is careful enough.”

“There are more, however. Can you imagine what those may be?”

“Pain or pleasure, Master?” Remus asked after a short hesitation.

“Very good. And it can radiate heat or cold,” Severus said and let Remus take a closer look at the necklace. “Any more questions?”

“No, Master,” Remus said. Though he was rather curious about what shape his master would make it take.

“Lay on the table, legs bent and feet on the edge, hands next to your hips.”

“Yes, Master.”

Severus waited until Remus was in position, placing the small box on the table next to Remus.

“Look at the ceiling,” Severus said when Remus craned his neck. “My pet has more discipline than this.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and forced himself to relax and not think about the glamours that were gone. As instructed he looked at the ceiling. Like everything else in the dungeon, it was made of huge stone blocks. Though those on the ceiling were rougher than the ones for walls and floors. They looked like a small mountain range, intersected by the gaps where the blocks met each other. He found one spot that stood out with a sharp edge of light and shadow and fixed his gaze on it.

He could hear his Masters’ robes moving, and then a hand between his legs, stroking it, until he stood firm.

“You will hardly feel it.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, eager to receive a constant tangible reminder that he was his Master's pet.

The chain was warm and light when Severus put it around him. There was a slight pressure that went away as soon as he had felt it.

“Done,” Severus said, and he could hear more rustling of robes. His master seemed to trace the ring, and then slowly went down Remus inner thighs.

“You may look at it, even touch it, if you wish.”

“Thank you, Master.” Remus sat up and bent over to inspect the silvery ring. It was warm and seemed to fit perfectly around him, without being tight or hindering him, at least as far as he could tell anyway. The metal was maybe half a centimetre thick.

“This is mine,” Severus said and held out his hand, where a very thin silvery line circled a finger. “As you have no doubt concluded, they are connected. Mine gives me power over yours.”

Remus nodded and watched the thin silver disappear from Severus’ hand. Probably a concealing charm.

“Do you want me to show you how it feels?”

“Yes, Master. Please.”

“Lay back down.”

“Yes, Master.”

“We will start with pleasure. Do not move, concentrate on your breathing, look at the ceiling.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Are you ready?”

Remus tried to relax and take deep breaths searching the same spot he had stared at before. Then he said, “Yes, Master.”

At first, there was only a small tingle where the ring was, which grew stronger fast. The feeling was… interesting, all the right nerves seemed to fire and his body reacted, nearly eliciting a pleased moan from Remus. But there was no touch, no nothing, it just was there. He concentrated on his breathing, while the sensation stayed tolerable. He knew he wouldn’t be allowed to come, so he tried to keep his excitement at bay and the sensation away.

Severus stood next to him, one hand on his chest, his face calm and his gaze fixed on Remus. Then the sensation grew stronger, and the pressure of Severus' hand, too–anchoring him, giving him something to concentrate on, while he struggled to keep calm. The strange, touchless sensation intensified again, and he instinctively closed his legs, but it did nothing to help. He breathed harder now, trying to keep in control.

“Breath,” Severus said and stroked Remus’ cheek with his free hand.

Remus did, closing his eyes, taking long deep breaths, and pressed with his feet against the table, to release some of the tension, lifting his hip, just slightly off the table. He kept breathing and his muscles tense and unmoving and suddenly the sensation was gone, and he relaxed, still hard, breathing heavily. The room was much too warm, and when Severus moved his hand from his chest, the air was cooling the sweaty dampness on his skin underneath.

“How did it feel?”

“Uh–interesting, Master,” Remus said. “There is no touch, but it feels like there should be…”

Severus gave him a short pause before they repeated the exercise.

“Do not close your legs this time, and look at the ceiling, not at me or your eyelids,” Severus said.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. He hadn’t purposefully looked at Severus.

“Ready?”

“Yes, Master.”

The ring started to please him yet again. Remus concentrated on his breathing. He held his legs and eyes open, though he was pretty sure that they were quite glassy. But Severus didn’t comment on that.

“That will do for now, I think,” Severus said, and Remus breathed out a small sigh of relief. He was hot and sweaty, and his legs felt shaky from how he had tensed them to not close them. His body screamed to be moved and his eyes to be closed. He concentrated on not doing either and nearly winced when Severus’ fingers trailed along his length and rubbed small circles on the tip. Remus was so sensitive that he nearly cried out. But then it was over and he slumped against the hard surface of the table.

“While I do not believe that the body should be the controlling part of your actions, I do realize that you still struggle with this part of your training. You let your body make decisions, where the mind should be in sole control,” Severus said. “Especially after an exercise like this. To make sure you adhere to the rules I laid down I will make sure you cannot climax for the time being, even if you wanted to. Even if you let your body take over the decisions. Be aware that this privilege may be taken away fast if I see that you do not put in the effort to learn.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, trying to hide his excitement.

“Sort this out, before we continue,” Severus said and flicked a finger against his nether region, which made Remus yelp in surprise.

“Any way I see fit, Master?” Remus asked the ceiling.

Severus hesitated. “What do you have in mind?”

“Pain would probably solve the problem rather quickly,” Remus said tentatively.

“Go ahead then,” Severus said. That wasn’t what Remus had been trying to suggest, and he was pretty sure, Severus knew.

“I meant…”

“My order was, for you to deal with it.” There was definitely some amusement in that voice.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, and now without a choice slowly lifted a hand between his legs and squeezed. Remus felt his face screw up and he bit his lip to not curse. He kept squeezing nonetheless until the blood had all but receded from where it was unwelcome at the moment. He sighed with relief when he finally released the grip, tears had shot into his eyes, and he only now realized how all his muscles had tensed again. He forced them to relax and blinked, to get rid of the tears, but all it did was make one of them flow down the side of his cheeks.

He heard Severus breathe heavily once, a measured deep sort of breath that one took to control oneself. He couldn’t but look at Severus who was looking with dark, hungry eyes at him.

“Continue.”

“Squeezing, Master?” Severus stepped to the end of the table and gently pushed Remus’ legs apart.

“Yes.”

Remus stared at him, but he wasn’t joking, so Remus slowly put his hand back to where it had been and squeezed lightly, not as hard as he had been.

“Squeeze harder,” Severus said, and Remus took all his courage and did as he was told, his legs folding back together and he ground his teeth and started to breathe as best he could long and deep breaths, as a piercing pain radiated from where his fingernails dug into his flesh.

His legs were pulled apart by Severus' hands.

“Let go,” Severus said after a moment. Remus let out a breath that was too close to a sob for his comfort. “Eyes to the ceiling, Wolf, it does not concern you what I do.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and forced his gaze off Severus, who started to stroke the inside of his thighs playfully.

“Wolf, you will only do this when I explicitly tell you to. I do not want this to become a habit. The mind controls the body.”

“Yes, Master.”

“That involves times you are alone.”

“Yes, Master.” Remus wondered if the ring would tell him that, too, and then thought it rather unlikely.

“Now then, back to the topic at hand,” Severus said. “Hold still, it will not hurt, but it might feel a bit… tight.”

Severus again touched his own ring, and Remus felt his ring shift until he felt a light pressure. He was still rather sensitive, so the light touch made him half hard in an instant. And then something was entering, like a liquid. At first, he thought he had peed without realizing, but it flowed upwards and it wasn’t stopped by him trying to stop the outflow. And then it stopped. He looked up to Severus hoping he would tell him what he had done. Remus of course had an idea, and it indeed excited him. He could feel the change, the tightness in which he expanded.

“Eyes up, Wolf. You will be punished after we are finished here for repeatedly letting your gaze wander.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “I’m sorry.”

“You may take a look,” Severus said after a few moments, in which Remus stared at the ceiling. When Remus sat up and looked down, there it was, his groin safely tucked away under a net of thick threads of the ring’s silvery metal, unable to be accessed or freed by anyone other than Severus, unable to grow, unable to eject any kind of liquid.

“Thank you, Master,” he said.

He watched the flesh pressed against its restraints, painfully squeezing into every one of the small spaces between the threads, and retreated again, as the pain grew too strong. It was strange, confusing, so close between pleasure and pain.

He watched his Master's face when his eyes travelled up to Remus' face.

“Now, as for your punishment,” Severus said and stepped around Remus, who turned his head to see what his Master would do. Severus made a circling motion with his wand, and a small cage appeared. “You will think about what made you disobey my orders and what you will do to prevent such a thing from happening in the future.”

“Yes, Master.“

“Get inside.”

Remus got up and hesitated for a moment. There was really not much option on how to fit inside it. He crouched and moved backwards, bowing his head, as much as the top of the cage dictated and folded his legs in front of him. It wasn’t too bad, but he suspected his backside would start hurting soon, considering the hard iron that made up the entire cage, including the floor.

Severus closed the door. Remus had to curl in his toes so the door wouldn't hit them. He drew his feet even closer and already knew that his backside would be the least of his problems when he would try to stretch his knees at the end, depending on how long this punishment would last.

“The cage has the same enchantments as your bed. Call for me if you need me. I will probably know anyway.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

“Stop talking and start thinking about your behaviour,” Severus said, with a raised eyebrow and a stern voice.

It was mostly boring and uncomfortable.

Remus mulled over what to say when Severus asked him what his conclusions were of why he had disobeyed. He wasn’t sure how much Severus wanted him to stay in character as the obedient pet, or if he wanted an honest answer from Remus.

At some point, he gave up on that front and wracked his brain over how to approach the unforgivable curses for his sixth-year class. But he didn’t come up with anything useful and wished desperately for a book, to flip through for ideas.

He was annoyed with himself for getting himself stuck in the cage. What a waste of time. Though he did appreciate that it was probably a much more efficient way to punish him than the cane was. He could deal with the pain well enough, but much less with senselessly wasting time like this.

Last weekend, he had needed the rest—and Remus agreed with Severus on some level. He could admit to himself that he was stubborn about the whole thing and rest did help. But this was just a waste of his time.

He shifted around in his cage from time to time, but he couldn’t do much more than lean a bit to the front, back or to either side. His backside hurt, as did his neck from being bent forward, and he desperately wanted to stretch his legs.

“So, why did you disobey my orders?” Severus asked with folded arms, towering over Remus. He had let Remus out of the cage, but only to kneel just outside of it, without allowing any stretching of sore and cramped muscles. Still the change of position was welcome. Remus had nearly sighed in relief when his backside had peeled away from the hard cage floor.

“I did not set your wishes before mine, Master. I was curious and maybe did not have enough trust in you.”

“Explain the trust issue,” Severus said.

“Well, I- I was just not sure what would happen, and… it made me look. I don’t think you would hurt me, but… I wanted to make sure.”

“You are mumbling,” Severus said. “Repeat.”

“I’m sorry, Master,” Remus said. “I said… I wanted to make sure.”

“Of what?”

“That… Of what was happening,” Remus said and looked up, and realized his mistake when he met Severus' eyes and got back to staring straight ahead.

“You are hesitant to give up control,” Severus said after a few moments.

“Yes, Master. I know this is not acceptable for a pet like me. I will work on improving to serve you better. Thank you for punishing me for my misbehaviour, Master. I think this kind of punishment is efficient and will help me improve faster.”

“It is not your place to choose your punishments.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. He could feel Severus’ piercing gaze on him, standing close and shifting slightly to the side. Remus wanted to turn and look up with all his being, to see if Severus was angry, or even disappointed in him. But he didn’t. He didn’t move his head. Then, after what felt like an eternity, Severus put the cane on his shoulder. “Your shoulders are tense again, Wolf. Do pay attention.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, tensing his core muscles and rolling his shoulders back in an attempt to relax them.

“You will spend a lot of time being punished before some behaviours are ingrained into you if you don’t work harder,” Severus said.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

“Lean over the table. Hands on your back.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. He got up, and his legs nearly gave way from being folded for so long. Severus grabbed his arm to steady him. When he had caught himself, Remus hurried over to the table, and before he had put his hands on his back properly, he felt the cool liquid of lude on his backside, and Severus quickly stretched him. It was uncomfortable but didn’t quite hurt that much as what he had done on Friday. Severus grabbed Remus' hair and thrust into him. Remus held still, waiting for his master to come, and for the confirmation, that his master found him desirably enough. It came with a slight shudder of Severus' hips, that were pressed against him. Then he pulled out, and Remus was left hollow.

“Sort yourself out and come to my office. You have three minutes,” Severus said and left the room. The collar vanished when Severus closed the door.

Remus slowly got up from the table. His hip bones hurt, where they had been slammed against the table and his backside felt raw. He made his way to the chest of drawers and cleaned himself with the wand, rubbing over the hip bones, where they would very likely form bruises in the next hour.

He sighed and rubbed his face. He felt off, and strange, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what was wrong. There really wasn’t too much to sort out, Remus thought and looked at the cage again. He had been so excited before, and now… He felt empty, and strangely alone. It wasn’t that he hadn’t enjoyed himself. But when he thought back at how Severus had put him in his cage last time and felt his cheeks burning when his whole being yawned for it.

He put on his glamour charms, which made him feel less naked already even before he put on his robes, which came next and then he slowly made his way up the stairs. He was certain to be far beyond the three-minute mark, but Severus was not his Master right now, he had removed the collar and wore his wand.

Severus was sitting in his chair, a glass of red wine in his hand. He had offered Remus one, who had declined.

“Was this session to your liking?” Severus said.

“Yes,” Remus said, watching the glass, rather than Severus.

There was a pause. “Would you mind elaborating?”

“Can we… Uhm—I’m really tired,” Remus said.

“I see,” Severus said, and it was very clear from his tone that he didn’t believe Remus.

“Well, the evening was… eventful.”

Severus looked at him. Just looked, with an eyebrow raised, and Remus felt like a student, trying to explain away why he hadn’t done his homework, and knowing, the teacher did not buy his excuses. He got up, to get away from the glare and walked over to the potion workbench. There was a small cauldron with a potion on one side, protected by a stasis charm, and an open notebook with Severus' spiky handwriting, scrawled in every free space, like parchment wasn’t in ample supply. Other than that, it was, as always, clean and tidy, the only surface in the room that wasn’t cluttered with parchment and books.

“It was good. The cage and the ring, I really like the ring,” Remus said.

“But?” Severus asked.

Remus sighed. “It’s really not that important.”

“Then you won’t mind telling me,” Severus said, now softer. There was a pause, in which Remus tried to figure out what to say. Why couldn’t he have said everything was fine? But Severus would have probably seen through that, too. Remus was a terrible liar, after all.

“Is your current mood related to the removal of the glamour charms? You may revoke that decision, at any time.”

“No, it's not that,” Remus said. “It just…,“ he tried, but he didn’t quite know how to put his feelings into words. And something in him didn’t want to tell Severus. It felt like putting himself in the way of a cutting curse only worse. “It seems to have ended rather abruptly,” Remus finally said carefully.

“How so?”

“You just… left,” Remus admitted quietly after another long silence.

“I see. What would you have preferred that I do instead?” There was true curiosity in his voice. Not the annoyance, impatience or whatever else Remus had thought he might hear.

Remus shrugged and then realized that that was really not helpful, while Severus tried to be just that. He turned around and looked at the floor between Severus’ desk and his own shoes.

“I’m not sure,” he sighed after a while. The room seemed stuffy and too warm.

“Sometimes,” Severus said slowly after he had apparently given up on Remus providing more information, “people need comfort after a session.”

Remus didn’t meet Severus’ eyes, but an image of him at Severus' feet, being caressed and told he was a good pet sprung into his mind.

“Would that have helped?” Severus pressed on.

“Maybe,” said Remus, unwillingly.

“It’s quite common. Would you still like to receive comfort?”

“Severus, I’m not a child. I will live.” Remus said a bit more forcefully than he had intended to.

“I did not ask if you would survive, which is quite obviously the case. I asked if you would like to.”

“Would that even be fun to you?” Remus asked, skeptically.

“It would.”

“And in the long term?”

“I liked the gentler parts of what we did on the weekend.” Severus watched him for a moment and then continued. “I liked the way you relaxed under my hands, how… wonderful you looked when you came. The way you sat by the table while I ate,” Severus said. “Your cooking.” He added after a short pause.

Remus smiled reluctantly. That had been nice. But also, mostly sexual in nature, except for the cooking.

Severus sighed. “I will not shame you for whatever it is you voice in this office when we talk about our… shared free time activities. I may decline a proposal because I personally do not enjoy it or because I deem it too dangerous or impractical. Of course, if you indicate to me that you did not find enjoyment in any of our activities, I will always respect your preferences. This is no different. You need comfort after a session. It is this or not at all.”

He looked up at Remus who stared at the ground. He should be honest to Severus, but it was… hard. It wasn’t that he wanted to be dishonest, but self-preservation was a strong motivator sometimes.

“It is important to me that we both derive enjoyment from this. All of it, Lupin, every session. In order to achieve this, I must insist that you be candid with me.”

Remus nodded.

“I would rather you voiced that understanding.”

“Yes, I… I understand,” Remus said. “I am sorry. It’s hard sometimes… I’ll…I’ll do my best to tell you.”

“See that you do.” Severus gave him a stern look, and then his face softened again. “Did you ever feel like you described before today?”

“Uhm, not that strongly.”

“When?”

“After the first time you…” he made a vague hand gesture at his backside.

“I see,” Severus said. “Can you explain what made those instances stand out?”

Remus thought for a moment. “Well, today… I wasn’t sure if you were… uhm, well angry with me, I suppose. I know you are not. But you were rougher, I guess–which I liked,” he made sure to add. “But then, after the punishment you just… you know, and then left.”

“I see. I will be more vocal about my approval in the future.”

Remus shook his head. “You didn’t praise me every step of the way.”

“So, a confirmation that I harbour no ill feelings towards you at the end of a session would help the situation?”

“Probably,” Remus admitted rather unwillingly.

“I will make sure to end our sessions in a more gentle manner, then.”

“Thank you,” Remus said after a moment, hesitantly and quite amazed at how that conversation had gone. How easily Severus had just accepted his explanation.

“In return I expect you to be honest and speak up if you feel the need to do so,” Severus said.

“Yes, I will,” Remus said. “Thank you.”

Severus gave a sharp nod. “Now as for the cage,” he said. And Remus had a lot fewer qualms telling him more about how he hadn’t enjoyed himself one bit and that it was, therefore, a very good punishment, that would actually make him want to avoid the punishment.

Before he left, Severus even offered to take Remus back to his living room for some ‘reading’ but Remus declined. He hadn’t been completely lying when he said he was tired to begin with and that conversation had been rather taxing, to say the least. Still, he felt much better, and part of him was grateful for Severus to have pressed him on it.

Chapter Text

Remus grumbled inwardly and tried to shift just enough to make whatever pressure he felt in his crotch go away. But when it didn’t after another few tries, Remus was forced to wake up properly to deal with it.

It was still dark outside, and Remus really wanted to keep sleeping. Seeing it was a Saturday and he would be spending the night at Severus’, he would probably be getting up earlier than he really wanted to tomorrow. Which was fine. But he had hoped to sleep in at least one time this weekend. Alas, it just wasn’t to be.

The cage had woken him up more than once in the last couple of days and would grow more uncomfortable the longer he ignored it. He lay for a few more moments, working up the willpower to get up, cursing his luck—and the cage. Then he kicked the blanket off with a bit more force than strictly necessary and made his way to the bathroom.

He spent a good deal of his Saturday in the library, sifting through the defence sections in the open and restricted section of the library and then working his way through the room with teaching material. Later Filius showed up to say hello and ask what Remus was up to. He showed Remus another room with more teaching material, that had the air of an abandoned storage room more than anything. Layers of dust covered most of the items and boxes which stood in random piles across the abandoned tables and chairs.

Flitwick told him he vaguely remembered some stock memories of people casting spells that not everyone could or wanted to cast in person. After some digging, they found some stock memories with demonstrations of rather nasty curses. There was a lot of blood and gore involved, and Remus wondered how anybody had ever thought it was reasonable to use those as teaching material. But he did find what he was looking for at the bottom of one of the boxes. Small vials labelled “Crucio”, “Imperius” and “Avada Kadavra”.

Imperius was demonstrated on a man, the other two on goats. He found it hard to watch the goat screaming in pain and dying shortly after and doubt grew if he really wanted to let his students see those. Maybe he could make it optional, preferably for the Tuesday lesson, which was the last lesson of the day, so he would have time for any student who needed some help afterwards. The Imperius one was less of a problem. It would be very good for them to understand that one couldn’t visually detect the curse.

He chatted a bit more with Filius and then went back to his quarters, deciding that he would think about which memories to show a bit more. Now he only needed to get a Gorgontoad from Hagrid, who had promised to catch one in the forest for his first years, and the next week's classes were prepared.

The toad was sitting in a small terrarium and tried very hard but futilely to petrify him. It’s usual preys were insects and mice, and it was barely able to petrify anything bigger than that, so Remus ignored the small eyed tendrils rising from the toad’s head to the best of his ability, while he graded his students’ papers.

They hadn’t made out a specific time, Severus had just said ‘afternoon’. It was four when Remus decided it was time—hopefully not too early, and not too late.

Before Remus could knock on the door from Severus’ office, the door opened, and Severus was revealed, sitting behind his desk, his wand in hand, which he presumably had just used to open the door.

“How did you know?” Remus asked.

“Do you think I have no wards surrounding my office and the adjacent hallways?” Severus asked.

“Oh,” Remus said. “Of course, you do.” It felt strange to think about the need for wards inside of Hogwarts. He had always felt safe here.

“Don’t you?” Severus asked. “You have more to hide than most.”

“Right, what if someone found the ‘How to deal with lycanthropy’-handbook on my nightstand,” Remus mused after he had carefully closed the door.

“I surely hope you don't let it sit on your nightstand.”

“I don’t think a book like that exists. Most authors are too focused on how to identify and kill us. I’m not even sure they know we can read…” He said lightly, but Severus didn’t seem to find it very funny.

“Anyway,” Remus added quickly, “Should we go downstairs?”

“In a moment,” Severus said. “There is another matter, namely that of the ring. The spellwork on it encompasses a charm that will release the ring with a password. I would like you to choose one—now or in the next couple of days—so I can set it. It is only for emergencies, of course.”

“Oh, ok,” Remus said. “I’ll think about it. I was wondering. What will happen during the full moon? Will the cage—uhm… stay?”

“I will remove it,” Severus said. “While it is enchanted to adapt to the circumference of whatever it is placed around, I am unsure of how it will react to such a drastic change so quickly. It is better to be careful.”

Remus nodded.

“Are you comfortable with the ring as it is?”

“Uhm,” Remus said and then smiled softly. “It keeps me safe, which is nice. It’s… sometimes a bit distracting. Uh… in the mornings, for example.”

“Too distracting?” Severus asked.

“Well,” Remus said. He was supposed to be honest, so here it was. “It is a bit uncomfortable at times... bordering on painful. Which wouldn’t be a problem when I’m here, but…”

“Yes, I can see how that would not be ideal. I should have made sure…” Severus got up. “In a moment I should think,” he added after it seemed he was about to ask Remus to lose his pants in his office. “Anything else that you feel needs addressing?”

“No,” Remus said and shook his head slightly to empathize.

Severus gave him a sharp look but quickly seemed satisfied that Remus wasn’t keeping anything from him this time. He turned and waved Remus to follow him and lead him to the living room, instead of The Cellar.

“Ready?” Severus asked without preamble. When Remus nodded, he added “Glamour and wand.”

Remus obeyed quickly and chose to kneel when he offered Severus his wand.

“Stand,” Severus said. He watched Remus get up and then brushed against his caged manhood and massaged it lightly until Remus could feel the pressure building and slowly growing to the brink of pain. And then the cage slightly loosened, and Remus breathed out an audible breath of relief.

“How does it feel now?”

“I can still feel it, but it’s not uncomfortable… Just a light—uhm, pressure.”

“Do you require more room?”

Remus shook his head. “No, Master, this should be fine.”

“Very well. If that assessment changes you will tell me as soon as possible.”

“Yes, Master.”

“On another matter…” Severus said and waited for Remus to look up. “You said that it is hard for you to give up control of a situation. I have given this some thought and derived an exercise that will hopefully help you with this specific problem. You stated that you would be agreeable to temporary blinding spells. Is that correct?”

“Yes, Master.”

“I will put such a spell on you now. Are you ready?”

“Yes, Master.”

Remus couldn’t even see Severus’ wand move before everything went dark. It took all his self-control, to keep standing still and not touch his face or rub his eyes. He blinked, but nothing changed, it was just all black.

“I will direct you through my quarters. You are to follow my orders without hesitation. Any hesitation will be punished. You will not talk or remove your hands from your back. Punishment will be one hit with the cane. I will not make you trip or walk into obstacles. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Turn around… now take a step forward.” Remus did. “This will be your default step. If your steps are shorter, I will count it as hesitation, thus you will be punished.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Turn until I tell you to stop… Good, stop. Now one step forward…”

And suddenly it was harder to just take a step because Remus didn’t know where he was facing. He had tried to keep track, but after the third time turning around (or what he had thought was the third time) he had lost orientation, and now if he were to face towards the table… He forced himself to make the step, though slow enough that he wouldn’t hurt himself too much if his feet were to slam into the chair.

“Hesitation,” Severus said, and the cane landed on his skin. He yelped and nearly lost his balance, using his hands to balance himself.

“Speech without permission,” Severus said and another hit came. This time Remus was ready and didn’t move.

“Removing hands from your back.” Another hit. Severus gave him a moment to collect himself and then he said, “Turn to your left… Two steps.”

Remus did, this time he forced himself to do them fast, but he still breathed out in relief when he didn’t trip or bump into anything.

It continued in this vein and it was nerve-racking. After a while, it became easier, but every so often something made Remus convinced he was going to run into an object or wall and he earned himself a punishment. Sometimes, he felt the warmth of the fireplace when he thought he would surely run into the dining table on the other side of the room. He also never stepped on a carpet, which he should, being near the fireplace or leaving the living room. Severus kept changing his position—Remus could hear his robes rustling—and let him turn on the spot in intervals, to make whatever mental map Remus had been able to scrape together useless.

“Now turn to your right… Put your hands in front of you… A chair is behind you. Sit down on it.”

Remus started to lower himself but could not bring himself to trust Severus enough to blindly just sit down.

“Stand up… Hesitation,” Severus said and a sharp pain erupted on his backside. It was rather tender at this point. “Sit on the chair.” It took Remus three more tries until he could make himself sit down, and only because he had stepped slightly back each time, and now could feel the wood of the chair against his calves. Remus sighed, as tension drained out of him. One should not think that an exercise like this was this nerve-wracking…

“Well done,” Severus said and removed the spell on Remus’ eyes. Remus blinked and then pressed them together. The dim light from the fireplace and candles seemed rather bright. He covered his eyes with his hands, until they had adjusted to the light, and then looked around. He was sitting on one of the dining chairs, rotated 90 degrees to face the room.

“We will repeat this exercise until you don’t feel the need to hesitate,” Severus said.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

“Now you will make dinner.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. He jumped up and entered the kitchen. Nothing better than a command from his Master to get him going. After some rummaging through the storage that had been filled since last time, he settled on pasta with tomato sauce. He checked with the list Severus had made for him of disliked foods, but the house elves seemed to have stored nothing Severus didn't like.

While chopping the carrots, his mind wandered to the Christmas decoration, which had propped up in the great hall this week. There were only two more weeks until Christmas. He had already been teaching for nearly four months and had spent three full moons in Severus’ presence. Strange how time flew when one was contempt.

It was rewarding when his students enjoyed a lesson, he had put so much thought and effort in, and equally, when the essays they wrote were getting better. When his students had fire in their eyes while learning. Admittedly that was rare, but each time it happened, it made his day.

The full moons had also been the best he had had in… over a decade. He sighed and pushed the thought of the chains and cold away. Not something he needed reminding of just now. Or ever, really.

Black hadn’t tried anything since Halloween. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t again. And if he did, it would be Remus’ fault for not disclosing he was an animagus. Each time he tried to make himself go up to Albus’ office and tell him, his feet didn’t move.

Remus pushed that thought and the shame and guilt accompanying it away, telling himself, that Black would not try again. He would not. Instead, he concentrated on another problem. One he could hopefully solve: What was he going to give Severus for Christmas? Remus himself was a big fan of books or chocolate when it came to presents.

It was not, that he was in the habit of exchanging gifts with many different people. Usually, he only exchanged sweets with Mary via owl and books with his father in person.

But Severus? Remus could just buy him some sweets, preferably with cherries because apparently that was Severus’ favourite. But it felt lazy, and Severus seemed to eat sweets only on occasions far and few between, as far as Remus could tell.

So, no sweets then. Maybe books? But whatever potion book Remus could buy, Severus would probably already have—or it was not worth the money.

And now that he was thinking about it, was he even expected to give a present? But surely. It would be weird and only underline the nature of their relationship, which, as far as Remus could tell, was mostly, if (he hoped) not solely, physical. Severus was nice enough outside of their sessions, but they hardly ever talked about anything else.

Maybe he could tell Severus to do whatever he wanted for one night? Though Severus did like playing with sperm far too much, from what Remus had gathered. And they still hadn’t tested the pain capacity of the ring. And generally, it was a bad idea. He didn’t want to give Severus free rein of his body. Well, part of him wanted to, the part that enjoyed being his Master’s pet far too much, but the sensible part of his brain told him that that was not going to happen without some rules in place.

Severus came into the kitchen and peered into the saucepan. He didn’t frown, so that was a good sign.

“Master,” Remus said. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead,” Severus said. He had sat down on one of the chairs and grabbed a potion journal from the stack of journals and newspapers which seemed to live on the table.

“The next full moon is on the first of January,” Remus started. “Are you at Hogwarts before then?”

“I presume you are asking because of the Wolfsbane potion?” Severus had looked up from the journal. He had apparently found what he had been looking for: A list of owl order products on sale from an apothecary.

“Yes, Master.”

“I will provide you with it of course. It does keep in a vial for a few days with a good stasis charm.”

“But…” Remus said while he rummaged in the cutlery drawer. “You insisted on serving it fresh each time.”

“Yes,” Severus said, without an explanation.

“Why?”

“A very good stasis charm, which I will probably need to ask Filius to perform,” he said, making a face as if asking for help was equivalent to biting into a lemon. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“What?” Remus looked around the kitchen to check if he had forgotten an ingredient or something.

“Think, Wolf,” Severus said and raised his eyebrow again and then went back to the list and marked a few lines.

“I don’t know, Master,” Remus said after Severus was finished and had looked up again.

“Think harder.” Severus was clearly finding amusement in this.

“I honestly don’t know, Mas–Oh,” Remus said. “I forgot the ‘Master’”

“Yes. I will punish you later,” he said dismissively.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, putting the pasta on a plate and arranging the sauce to the side of it. He garnished it with a few leaves of basil and then put it in front of Severus and stood a bit uncertain around the kitchen.

“Kneel. We will talk about the holidays in my office, where it belongs.”

“Yes, Master.”

If Severus would provide him with the potion, that would mean he would be away, wouldn’t it? Remus wondered where he lived. Maybe in a cottage far from everybody with a lush self-tending garden for potion ingredients. But now that Remus thought about it, he couldn’t picture Severus in front of a lush garden. But then, he really couldn’t picture him living anywhere else, but his quarters.

A hand on his hair suddenly woke him from his thoughts.

“Yes, Master?”

Severus seemed to have finished his meal and was now holding a vial, that Remus saw with slight dismay, was another nourishment potion.

Severus lifted his chin and slowly poured the potion into his mouth. Remus tried to not make a face, which seemed easier than before–maybe his body had accepted that it was actually a good source of nutrients and calories–but he could still taste the sweet fish. It didn’t seem so appalling any more, though.

“Thank you, for the meal, Master.”

Severus was leaning back in his chair. “What do you usually do on the weekends?”

“Pretty much the same I do in the evening, Master. A good book, walks in the forests… sometimes finding rare creatures…”

“Hunting?” Severus raised an eyebrow.

“No, Master, just watching… seeing how they interact with each other and their surroundings… I like to go watch the Moon Whisps rise every solstice, for example. It was quite beautiful. It took me years to find a swarm that wasn’t surrounded by a horde of tourists. Did you ever see them raise?”

“No.”

“You really should. The whole swamp glows, and then they slowly rise above the water, and there are dancing lights everywhere…” Remus wondered if he could show it to Severus next summer. It seemed like a very long time away just now.

“Perhaps I will,” Severus said. Then he led Remus to the living room to get his punishment that left a few painful red stripes on his back—thankfully not his already irritated backside.

“You may read after you are done cleaning the kitchen.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

After cleaning the kitchen Remus decided to go through Severus’ book collection under the pretence of finding something to read. He had always loved the idea of a home library, the promise of so much knowledge at his fingertips… But if the last couple of years of lawmaking were any indication, he wasn’t sure anymore if he would ever be able to afford one. Or even a full shelf worth of books. Or—more rudimentary—a home he could put them in.

This time Remus went through the shelves with the books about dark arts, not just their defense. Not that Remus never had read books like that, you had to know what you were up against after all, but Severus’ collection was extensive, meticulously curated and judging by the scribbles on the pages he found in nearly every book, well-read. Blood curses and rituals, gruesome jinxes, some of them illustrated to show the effects in all their glory.

Remus wrinkled his nose. Maybe that was a bit too graphic and dark for light reading. He put the book back and took another one that promised to at least have no illegal spells in it. After flipping through it, he would have nearly categorized it as harmless, considering the rest of the collection. He read a few of the teasers for the hexes and curses that struck his fancy when he stopped and tilted his head. A sewing jinx for human flesh.

Remus shook his head. But it did intrigue him. It did look painful, but it also wouldn’t leave any lasting damage. Put on his lips, he wouldn’t be able to eat or drink. Or speak. It would make for a nice punishment… maybe for half a day or so. Or longer if he found a way to hydrate…. He fantasized about the punishment when Severus stepped behind him and looked over his shoulder.

“Sewing jinx,” Severus said. It was phrased as a statement, but the slight movement of his eyebrows showed it was really a question.

“It would be a nice punishment, maybe, Master,” Remus said. The man drawn on the opposing page had his arms sewn to his body and his legs to each other, so Remus added, “On the mouth maybe…”

Severus took a closer look. “It would. Are you up for some more strenuous activities tonight?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Red,” Severus said, when they entered his bedroom. The room was sparsely decorated, with a double bed, a dresser, a drawer with some books on it, and a small bedside rug on one side of the bed. The wood was dark, as were the sheets, only contrasted by the sandstone walls and beige curtains, that were drawn shut.

“Perhaps you can take a guess of what we are going to do?”

“The ring?” Remus asked.

“Yes, more specifically, using it to inflict pain. Are you sure you are okay with it?”

“Yes.”

“It won’t remind you of… the transformation?”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “What are you planning? Ripping me apart?”

“No,” Severus said seriously.

“I want to try,” Remus assured him.

“Do you remember the safe words?”

“Yes,” Remus said and then Severus looked at him expectantly, he went over them again.

“And you will use them if necessary?”

“I will.”

Severus nodded and then asked, “Shall we continue?”

“Yes.”

Severus nodded once more, this time quicker than before, nearly curt. He gestured for Remus to sit on the bed and followed slowly when Remus was kneeling on the bed. Then Severus’ voice became softer when he said, “You know I like my pet to be in pain.”

“Yes, Master. I will do my best to endure whatever you need me to, to please you,” Remus said nearly breathlessly. What so few words could do so quickly.

Severus looked him up and down, and Remus thought he nearly looked uncertain for a moment, but then he said in his usual, calm and commanding voice,

“Times like this, when I inflict pain on you for my pleasure will be the only times I use the ring. I will never use it for punishment.”

“Yes, Master.”

“You showed some enthusiasm for bindings when you filled out the list. Would you like that today?”

“Yes, Master. If it pleases you,” Remus said.

“It will. But only when I feel that you can handle the pain well enough. Lay down.”

“Yes, Master.”

Severus bent down and whispered, “Show me how much it hurts, Wolf.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus breathed in response.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and swallowed. He really hoped he liked it. Severus would be so disappointed if he didn’t. And if he was honest, so would he.

Severus touched the ring, and a slight prickling awoke in Remus’ crotch.

“That shouldn’t hurt,” Severus said.

“No, Master.”

Severus watched him closely with curious eyes, as the prickle grew stronger and then it got uncomfortable. The sensation wasn’t monotonous, but rather it came in waves. Sometimes it was nearly gone, others it was very close to being painful.

“Alright?” Severus asked when Remus grimaced.

Remus nodded and exhaled, when the wave subsided, responding, with a tight, “Yes, Master.”

Remus winced when the pain grew from nearly nonexistent to strong. It was a sharp sort of pain, he couldn’t quite figure out, reminiscent of cramps but without his muscles tightening. It was also hard to place the pain, it seemed to be nebulously running through his nerves, strange and somehow unnerving. He stretched his body hoping it would ease the pain, but that did exactly nothing. Remus let out the gasp that he had been holding for Severus’ sake when he remembered that he was supposed to show his pain.

Severus had placed a hand on his cheek and watched Remus closely while the pain grew stronger, and Remus arched his back, his hands digging into the mattress, supporting him, his eyes were shut, and a grunting noise escaped him. He felt the hand leave his face and wished it back. Only when the wave had passed, he saw that Severus had moved towards Remus’ legs. He opened them and sat between them. Just as Severus started to bend forward, the next wave hit and Remus only noticed that Severus was biting and teasing his nipples when it was gone. The pain of Severus’ teeth grinding on his skin hadn’t even registered, compared to the pain from the ring. He gasped again when Severus carefully bit and moved his teeth sideways against each other. Remus whimpered slightly in response, and he could feel his Masters erection against his skin.

This was for his master, and he would endure it, Remus thought, as the next wave hit. They hadn’t increased in strength. It wasn’t the all-encompassing pain of his body ripping itself apart, but still painful. The thoughts helped to make it manageable: He was just a toy; it didn’t matter if he hurt. He lived to serve his Master. And if his Master was happy, so was Remus.

And his Master was happy. Remus could see the raw desire in his Master's eyes, in every part of his face, really, every time he looked at him. He wanted… needed to be looked at like this. It was all worth it, he thought when a new wave radiated outwards from the ring for that look.

His Master had moved down and pinched his balls, that Remus could feel even though the pain of the ring and his legs locked around Severus’ arms, trying to make it stop.

Then his legs were forced apart again, and after the pain had passed, Remus realized they were fixed to the bed on either side, making it impossible for him to close them again. In the short pause between the waves, he tested them, but they were sturdy and didn’t leave much room. He was completely at his Master’s mercy, as he started to pinch hard, and Remus escaped a noise of protest and pain. The bounds held him in place, as they should. It was his Master’s right to do whatever he wanted to his body.

After a few more waves, Remus felt his Master shift, and then there were hands which rolled him around. He helped, as best he could, his legs were free again and soon, he was crouching on the mattress. His Master took his hands and placed them in leather cuffs which were tethered to the bed frame. Remus pulled on them in anticipation of the pain of a new wave, but it was much less than before, and he didn’t need it to release the energy that built up.

Severus prepped him quickly, and not very gently and quickly after, he pushed into Remus, as a new wave, this time stronger, hit, and Remus let out a whining sound of pain and, by this point, exhaustion. His backside felt like something would tear at any moment when Severus started to move, unperturbed by Remus’ whimper. His Master’s thrusts grew stronger and all Remus could do was to keep his face from absorbing the force and hide his head in his arms, until he could feel his Master tense and then pull out.

Remus lowered his backside and rolled limply to his side, his body was sweaty and he ached all over.

He felt a small prickle of a diagnostic charm that travelled over his body, his Master took care of him, Remus thought with a strange pull in his chest. Then his wrists were freed, and Remus had collected enough energy to help his Master while he was manoeuvred onto his back, his head resting in his Master's lab. Then he was covered with a blanket. His Master must have cast a warming charm on it because it felt like he had cuddled up in it for hours before.

Remus tried to help his Master with the blanket, but his Master just made a gesture for him to relax, so he did, and let himself be wrapped in the blanket. Remus sighed when the tension slowly left his body and looked up to his Master.

“Did you like it, Master?” he asked.

“Yes, Wolf, I did.” His Master’s voice was a soft rumble. He was still fully dressed. “You did very well. Very well, indeed.”

“Thank you. I’m glad, Master.” Remus closed his eyes and rolled over to his side. His Master’s hand ran through his hair. He sighed in contempt. Really, he would take all the pain his Master wanted him to feel when he would be looked at like that again and then be wrapped in blankets and allowed to cuddle up against his Master like this. He conjured his Master’s face, his dark eyes so full of lust…

“Master?” he said quietly.

“Yes, Wolf?”

“Thank you.”

“You already said that.”

“I know,” Remus mumbled and opened his eyes again. “I like... being used for my purpose. That’s my purpose… making my Master happy. Thank you for letting me.” Some part of Remus’ mind knew he was rambling, but Remus was too comfortable to care that much. He stretched out his hand to touch his Master’s cheeks. His gaze held a softness, Remus hadn’t seen in his eyes before.

“Thank you, Pet,” Severus said and took Remus’ hand that threatened to touch him and ran his thumb over the backside once, navigating it towards the blanket. No touching cheeks, then. But the caress had been nearly as good.

The pain had left his body after an exhausting workout. He was relaxed from his Master’s caress, warm from the soft blankets and happy that he had been of service to his Master. Remus wasn’t sure if he had drifted off at some point or not. But after a while, he felt his energy return and he stretched carefully and thoroughly. Severus let him and only spoke when Remus was finished.

“How are you feeling?”

“Well, Master.”

“Well, enough to get up?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, though the thought of leaving the blanket… Still, he felt awfully sticky from the sweat and really wanted a cleaning charm.

“You deserve a reward. Is there something you would like to do?”

Remus sat up slowly and then said, “Wasn’t that the reward?” He indicated the spot where he had just lain.

“No.”

“Uhm—,“ Remus said, his mind as sluggish as his body. “Can I sit by your feet and read…” And when Severus nodded, he added tentatively, “And lean my head against your knee?”

“If that is what you wish to do.”

“If that’s… alright with you? Master,” Remus said.

“Quite alright,” his Master said.

“And maybe a cleaning charm, Master,” Remus said.

“You should take a shower,” Severus said in a tone, that was not a suggestion. “It should help with the stiff muscles you seem to have.”

“Yes, Master.” Remus said, and then with a slight grin he added, “Will you join me in the shower.”

There was a raised eyebrow and a hint of amusement when Severus answered, “Though tempting, I will not.”

“Too bad, Master,” Remus said and got up.

There was something about warm water flowing over one’s body, that no cleaning charm could ever compare to, Remus thought when he dried off. Severus had put a towel and some night robes on the toilet seat while Remus had been in the shower. He had left the door to the bathroom open but was nowhere to be seen. The robes were from soft, worn wool, that promised warmth and comfort.

Remus dried the collar, which was still around his neck, to the best of his abilities with a towel, but it was still damp and uncomfortable against his skin.

He put the towel on the edge of the bathtub. Severus didn’t have anywhere to hang a towel up to dry. Not having children or other people in his quarters, that couldn’t use magic, there probably was no need. But it did pose a problem for Remus. Was he supposed to ask for a drying charm? In the end, Remus decided to just drape it over the edge of the bathtub and leave it there.

Severus was standing next to one of the bookshelves, a book in hand when Remus came in. He looked up and his gaze wandered around Remus’ robed figure.

“Thank you, Master, for the robes,” Remus said.

“You are welcome. Sit, I placed you a cushion.”

“Thank you, Mater. Uhm-“

“Yes, Wolf?”

Remus hurried to kneel before his Master, before he spoke again. “Would, Er—would you be so generous as to dry my collar, Master?”

In answer, Severus flicked his wand and the collar was dry and comfortable again.

“Thank you, Master.”

“Do you wish to choose a book, or do you wish me to select one for you?” Severus asked while Remus was still kneeling in front of him.

“I would enjoy reading something you selected for me, Master if you would be so kind as to do so,” Remus said. It had been something, Remus had added: for his Master to not only choose food and clothing but also books and other things if he wanted to.

“Anything particular you are in the mood for?” Severus asked softly and looked down at him.

Remus thought for a moment. He hadn’t seen a single novel in Severus' collection, which was what he gravitated towards when he was tired, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask, “Something light… maybe with a plot?”

“Folklore perhaps?” Severus asked after a moment of thought.

“Yes, Master.”

Severus' mouth curled up slightly. “Very well, you may sit down on the pillow.”

“Yes, Master.”

A short while later Severus handed him a book.

“Poncius? A good choice, Master!” It was a collection of muggle folklore, with short explanations of what magic being it could be based on. Severus’ version had a nicely decorated cover with the title in silver font elaborately ornated with thin lines, winding their way to the edge of the cover.

“You have read it previously?”

“Yes, Master, I like his writing style. I sold my copy years ago. It wasn’t this nice, though.”

“You may keep it,” Severus said and sat down on the sofa next to where Remus sat on the cushion on the ground.

“Thank you, Master. I will take good care of it.”

He waited for Severus to settle before tentatively moving closer to his Master’s legs. When his shoulders and his Master’s knees nearly touched, he leaned his head to the side and rested it on them. He waited a moment for objections. When none came, he relaxed against his Master and closed his eyes for a moment. Severus’ knees were bony and hard, but it was the most body contact he had been allowed to initiate himself, so it felt strangely special. He opened his eyes and then the book. On the inside of the cover, he found familiar handwriting that indicated that the book had been a Christmas present from Albus many years ago, who had—probably futilely—hoped Severus would enjoy it as much as he had.

Remus turned the page. With those soft robes and the warmth of his Masters’ legs, it didn’t take much for Remus to be lulled into a warm comfort, while he read.

Chapter Text

“Is that really all you want, Master?” Remus asked when he had prepared his Master’s breakfast to the usual specifications—toast with butter and a coffee. “Nothing to go with the butter…? Jam, maybe?” Remus asked and put the jar on the table.

“You will stop this,” his Master hissed.

“Yes, Master.” Remus retrieved the jar, trying to sound and look at least somewhat sorry, but couldn't quite manage.

“Kneel. Where did you even get that?” Severus asked, holding the jar up and inspecting it.

“It was in the pantry, Master,” Remus said.

“Must have been the house elves,” Severus concluded and returned the jar to Remus. “Return this to the kitchens with whatever else you think is not needed here.”

“Yes, Master.”

Severus waved his wand and held something in front of Remus’ eyes. It was a leather mask which would cover his nose and mouth, and end where his jaw met his neck.

“This will keep you from talking,” Severus said. “Or more precisely, it will make it impossible, that any noise louder than a breath will escape you.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said looking at the contraption curiously.

“You will tap on any surface if you need me to remove it. It cannot suffocate you.”

“Yes, Master.”

Remus waited patiently, while Severus tightened the mask: One strap went up between his eyes, and one on either side went under his ears to meet the other one that came down the back of his head. Remus breathed slowly and deeply, testing if he was still able to. The mask seemed very solid, but it let the air through like it wasn’t even there.

“Try it out—speak,” his Master said.

Remus tried and felt his throat closing, something just… didn’t let any more air through, his lungs were locked. He tried to push air out quite desperately, for a moment, and then, thankfully, and quite reflexively, drew in some breath. That at least worked, and he could breathe out again. He blinked and drew in a few breaths, just to be sure, it was a bit disconcerting. He found himself having left his kneeling position and quickly corrected this. His eyes met Severus’, and he nodded curtly, to indicate he was alright.

“You will get used to it.”

Remus nodded another time. After a few minutes, when his master had been absorbed in an article in the daily prophet, Remus tried to make a sound again. This time he was prepared for the rather alarming feeling of some kind of barrier that he could only vaguely locate in his throat. He took a small breath in and then he was able to breathe out again. He tried again and learned that he needed to release the pressure that he built up in his throat to speak before he could exhale without the mask triggering. After a while, he thought he had worked it out and then it was fun, feeling such a tangible boundary, a wall whenever he tried to speak. No punishment could make him feel this thrill.

“You enjoy this far too much,” his Master noted with a sideways glance. He had thrown the daily prophet on the opposite side of the table, with a hissed utterance, which Remus hadn’t quite caught.

Remus just answered with a small shrug and sheepish smile.

“Clean up and then come to the living room.”

Remus looked at him, trying to convey that he was still missing his breakfast.

“Yes?” Severus asked, and his face told Remus that he knew.

Remus didn’t get any breakfast until they sat in Severus' office an hour or so later. Severus had repeated the trust exercise from the day before. It hadn’t become easier. Remus suspected it would take time until he would walk wherever Severus told him to walk without hesitation.

Severus had made space on his desk by letting everything on it float up on the ceiling and pushed a trey with a full fry up towards Remus, which had just been delivered by a house elf. The smell alone had made Remus’ mouth water. Nourishment potions were just not the same as real food.

“So, next full moon,” Remus said before he took the first bite of his eggs.

“Will you be in here at the 27th?”

“In the evening,” Remus said.

“Very well, I will bring you the potion then.”

“Are you away? Do we set our meetings out?” Remus asked.

“I usually spend some of my holidays at home,” Severus said. “But I would be open to meetings.”

“Here or at your place?”

Severus thought for a moment. “Would you be open to multiple days? You could see if you liked it.”

Remus nodded. “I’d love that.”

Severus considered this for a few moments, while Remus attacked his sausages. “At my place. We will be undisturbed there,” he finally said.

It wasn’t that they were being disrupted here often. One time a student had knocked on Severus’ office door when they had talked after a session. Remus had been sitting opposite Severus, clothed and without a collar, so there hadn’t been anything to suggest more than a chat between colleagues. But it hadn’t felt that way to Remus.

“Really?” Remus asked before he could stop himself.

Severus gave him a look and said, “Really. I would suggest that you stay from the 28th or 29th until the 2nd.” Which was the day after the full moon. “If you have plans to celebrate the new year—”

“No, sounds good,” Remus said quickly. He—of course—did not have plans.

“There will be no celebration of the new year.”

Remus grinned. “Very disappointing.”

There had been a fun session of orgasm training, during which Severus had put the mask on Remus. Remus suspected that it would have been quite challenging if Severus hadn’t restrained himself to slight brushes of Remus’ crotch but had actually tried to make him react. It had been fun to feel the restriction, on the occasion he reacted with a small gasp, and he was excited to do it again.

Now Remus was bowing in front of the fireplace.

“Good. Now cross your hands, stretch your fingers,” Severus directed him.

Remus did his best to follow the orders, his backside was raised high, while his back arched down to his fingertips in a graceful line.

“Hands, Wolf,” his Master said, and Remus tried to make them look nice, which was not as easy as it sounded. He felt his hands rearranged and had to shift his weight to his forehead because now he couldn’t put weight on them anymore. It was quite uncomfortable, and he was certain his neck would get stiff quickly. But after he told himself that he would look nicer for his Master, he resigned himself to it. He wanted to look as nice as he could.

He still found himself embarrassed and self-conscious at times, showing off the scarred thing that was his body, unable to fathom that Severus very clearly liked looking at it. But he did. He called it pretty and appreciated it with gentle strokes and gazes that travelled tenderly over his uneven skin.

“Look at you. So pretty,” his Master said softly.

Remus felt a slight rush of something warm in his chest when his Master sat back down and blatantly stared at Remus.

Remus checked his position, wiggled his buttocks a bit, and arched his back as much as possible, stretching his arms as long as they would go.

Remus had no idea of how much time had passed. But at some point, Severus got up again. Remus’ neck had gotten stiff, and his hip and back had started to protest. But he didn't mind, if it meant his Master would look at him like that and call him pretty.

He felt a hand on his back that slowly made its way down to his neck and then back up.

Severus said in a low voice that made a shiver run down Remus' spine, “Be a good Wolf. Go to my bedroom and wait for me in front of the bed.”

Remus said, “Yes, Master,” and scrambled up to head to the bedroom without much hesitation. He waited for his Master and gave himself over to the pain and the lust of his Master, the way his Master desired him.

Severus pulled out of him and Remus rolled over, exhausted maybe, but feeling strangely light, and he found a subconscious smile on his face.

His Master predictably wrapped him in a blanket and let Remus lay with his head in his master’s lab. He wriggled himself deeper into the soft mattress, so the blanket banked up under his chin.

Remus took a deep breath and stretched leisurely, while his Master's hand ran over his ribs. Remus stayed in the position a tiny bit longer than he would usually have, watching his Master's reaction with satisfaction, and then curled back up under his blanket.

There was something special about cuddling up like this after his Master had subjected him to so much pain, like a little reward.

They were both silent. His Master played with his hair, while Remus floated in the exhaustion the pain had left, his thoughts drifting lazily. They eventually settled on those green eyes that had asked him about Patronus lessons earlier that week. He still couldn’t look at Harry without his chest aching; He looked so much like the best mix of his parents. Though his demeanour was neither Lily nor James.

“How would you teach someone the Patronus without subjecting them to the presence of a Dementor, Master?”

Severus’ hand that had run through his hair stopped. “First of course the student should be able to cast the spell in a calm environment without distractions,” he started slowly. “Perhaps you could consider using spells that disturb concentration or resurface unpleasant memories or feelings. But of course, those could only ever be an approximation. And most of them are not to be used on minors, especially not in a school environment.” He added as an afterthought. “Is this a purely theoretical question?”

“A student has asked for help, Master.”

“Potter?” Severus asked without much of an inflexion.

“How did you know?” Remus turned and looked up.

“Seeing how the last Quidditch match ended, it wasn’t hard to surmise.”

“Am I giving Gryffindor an unjust advantage by teaching him, Master?” Remus asked lightly, raising an eyebrow playfully.

The hand resumed playing with his hair. “One should think that that skill is not required to fly a broom around a pitch.”

“I told him we would have our first lesson at the start of next term, Master.”

“Will that interfere with our meetings?”

Remus smiled. “Not if I don’t slack off, Master”

“Then don’t.”

“Of course, Master,” Remus said, in the most devout voice he could manage without sounding sarcastic. “So, are all of them illegal to use?”

“Subjecting someone to pain is also illegal, and here we are,” Severus said dryly. And then launched into an explanation of the spells, but neither of which Remus really wanted to cast on a child.

“What is your patronus?” Remus asked when they had exhausted the topic. It must be something proud and probably—Remus chuckled inwardly—living in the dark and being rather unhappy about being disturbed there. But also, nice and caring. Hm. And intelligent and…

“What are you grinning about?” Severus asked.

“I'm not, just thinking… what yours might be,” Remus said. “So, what is it?”

Severus looked a bit irritated but after a somewhat tense moment, he seemed to decide Remus wasn’t making fun of him and said quietly, “A doe,” and in a completely different voice, “And I’d like to remind you to address me as Master, or I will need to punish you.”

“Yes, Master, I will try to do better. They always express something about us—Patronuses, but sometimes it’s hard to know what,” Remus mused, thinking about this new information and trying to make it fit into the puzzle that was Severus Snape. A doe, of all things. “Master.” He added, after a short pause.

“What is yours?”

“A wolf, Master.”

“There seems to be quite an obvious conclusion to what it represents,” Severus said.

“Yes, it would seem so, Master.” After which his Master made him get up and shower.

The second time Remus wore the mask for orgasm training was harder than the first. Severus ran his hand down Remus’ shaft in a way that made him want to groan and sigh and beg for more nearly consistently. But the mask stopped him every time with a sudden inability to exhale, which got very annoying towards the end of the session.

Remus rarely felt aggression, but the next time they did the exercise he did. The constant interruptions to his breathing made him want to punch something. Remus was balling his fists into tight knots, and he tried very hard to not move, while he took slow deep breaths. It couldn’t be that hard to not moan, or breathe heavily, was it? He just had to concentrate. So, he shook his head. It was for his Master, after all. He could do it. It would pass; He would learn.

“Do you wish to stop?” Severus asked, with a frown and dark eyes fixed on Remus.

“No, Master,” Remus said. It would pass; He would learn.

And then it started again. He was so annoyed that he didn’t even react much to Severus for the rest of the session. Which was better for his mood, but probably not the way it was supposed to work.

“That was better,” his Master said, removing the mask. “But you are not too happy.”

The moment the mask was off, he took a deep breath to the bottom of his lungs and slowly let his lungs drain empty before he answered. “Just annoyed that I am so… noisy, Master.”

“You are doing quite well, all things considered,” Severus said. “It is not easy, as I have told you before.”

Remus rubbed his face and nodded.

“We can continue without the mask if that makes it easier for you,” Severus said later in his office.

“No, no I have to learn at some point, don’t I?” Remus said stubbornly.

“If you don’t enjoy it, you do not have to learn it,” Severus simply said.

“But I want to,” Remus assured Severus as much as himself. He did. He wanted to be… unreactive, to be a perfect tool for his master to use.

The fourth time was no better, in fact, it only got worse. After the second round, Remus was frustrated again. There was a headache slowly digging its way through his skull, and he really just wanted to breathe. Even now, after Severus had removed his hands from him, he had to control his breathing for the mask not to trigger.

“Another time?” Severus asked. He studied Remus carefully.

Remus took a deep breath—or as deep as he was able to with the mask on—and carefully spread his fingers, which ached from the force he had used to curl them into fists. He desperately just wanted to breathe. But he also desperately wanted to master the exercise. It wasn’t even that hard. He just had to keep himself together. The goal was to tune out the touches, and for his Master to use his body as he saw fit. And that was something he badly wanted to be able to do. Which meant, this exercise was necessary. He slowly relaxed, though his headache stayed.

He nodded, reminding him of the possibilities if he finally would be in control of his body.

“Remember your breathing,” Severus said. “In… out…”

Remus fell into the now familiar rhythm and felt Severus tracing his length and intensifying the teasing slowly. Remus concentrated on his breathing and the images that had calmed him a moment ago. In, out, in, out, he directed himself. But when Severus started to circle the tip, he couldn’t keep it up, the touch was too distracting, and he held his breath for a moment. When he tried to continue breathing, a small sigh built up in his throat and the mask sealed the noise inside of his throat, and with this, any breath, he might have made.

He didn’t quite know what was happening, just that he needed to breathe. He needed air, and he needed to get rid of that stupid mask. He also desperately needed Severus to stop touching him.

And then, suddenly his hand hit only air and he was falling.

But the impact never came. Remus barely noticed how he was caught by a spell that placed him gently on the ground and the mask disappeared. He found himself on the floor, desperately drawing in breath to his overfilled lungs. He had trouble breathing out, even though the mask was gone. All his body seemed to be capable of, was inhaling.

He felt a touch on his shoulder, but he brushed it away, while desperately wishing for whatever this was to end. He vaguely registered a slow soft voice talking to him and after a moment, he managed to concentrate on the words: “Wolf, breath… in… hold… out… in… hold… and out… Wolf? Lupin?”

Remus nodded, that he heard, but it was hard to make his lungs cooperate with the directions. Severus continued, to talk to him and finally, Remus managed to fall into rhythm with Severus. Slowly the panic drained out of him.

“Better?” Severus asked. He kneeled in front of Remus, his wand still in hand.

Remus nodded again, unwilling to forgo the deep breaths for such a mundane thing as speech.

After a few moments, when Severus would still fixate him with his eyes, he nodded another time. “Yes, yes, it’s better,” he said weakly and rubbed his face, to escape those piercing eyes. Sometimes they were a bit unnerving.

Severus didn’t look convinced, and Remus wished he would stop looking like that. He took another deep breath, then he got up. Severus rose with him, standing close by, as if he was worried Remus would faint. Remus still felt dizzy, and getting up hadn’t helped.

“I’m fine,” Remus said with a lot more certainty now. He was fine. Though still a bit shaky and getting cold now that the adrenalin had left his body. His skin was damp from sweat.

“Perhaps you should sit,” Severus suggested. Which wasn’t the worst idea, so Remus slid up to sit on the table and watched as Severus summoned a blanket and put it over Remus’ shoulders. He thought about protesting, but Severus’ face made him say, “Thank you,” instead, and dutifully wrap himself up in it. It was warmed by a charm and slowly chased away the cold that had started to settle in his bones.

After another few moments, Severus handed him a cup of steaming hot tea. Yes, that was what he needed right now, a calming cup of Earl Grey. He took a tentative sip. Severus had put copious amounts of sugar in it and the charm he had used to let it steep faster had been too strong. Still, the warmth and sweetness of it felt good. He held the cup to his lips and let the hot steam flow over his face. He had always found it calming, somehow.

“What happened?” Severus asked after Remus had half-finished the cup.

Remus shrugged. He didn’t want to get into the details. Just thinking about the mask made him feel suffocating. “I was unable to breathe. I breathed wrong, and the mask…” Remus said and found himself taking a deep breath, just to make sure that he could. “And then…”

“You panicked,” Severus finished for him, when Remus trailed off, not sure how to phrase what had happened.

Remus nodded in agreement and then considered. But it really felt like lying to not tell Severus. “I should have said no—to the last round. I was already quite done with the exercise. I wanted to… well—master it. But I hated it while I didn’t. The mask… not getting enough air and all that. It was really... hard.”

“So why didn’t you say so?” There was a slight edge in his voice.

“I don’t know,” Remus said and stared into his teacup for some time, while Severus waited for an actual answer. “I really did want to continue, you know, to get it right. And when you asked, I was just… I thought I would get through it. I wanted to and I—I just didn’t realize… well, I suppose I did know on some level that it wasn’t a good idea.”

“But you ignored this?”

“I guess,” Remus said. “I really wanted to get it right,” he repeated.

“Which I hope you see now, was not the right course of action?”

“No,” Remus admitted.

“I need you to communicate, Wolf, I said this before.” Remus slightly winced at the anger that lay between the carefully controlled words.

Remus let himself time to think about a response, and then he said, “I can promise you I will work on it. I cannot promise you it won’t happen again. I was so focused on… wanting to—you know, be a good pet and all that… I want to…”

“You want to?” Severus prompted when Remus didn’t continue.

“Well, we spoke about it before,” Remus said. “To be used and not react. Just a tool. Without feelings and desires…”

Severus let out a sigh and the anger seemed to drain away with it. “Clearly you are not there yet.”

Remus nodded. But he wanted to, and it annoyed him to no end, that he was so… not like what he wanted to be.

“Did you feel like that before? That you couldn’t tell me what you really need because you thought it was not what a pet should be like? I did ask you last time when you seemed frustrated.”

“It’s not the definition of a ‘pet’, it’s just…” he shrugged. It didn’t matter what name it was. “I just really like the idea.”

Severus nodded. “We will deal with this later.” ‘deal’ was not the word Remus would have used, but ok. “My main focus is on communication right now. Did you feel like this before—frustrated?”

“Not that strongly. But yes, I was… having trouble with the exercise. I really didn’t like how it made me feel.” He paused. “I was frustrated about not being able to breathe but in the beginning, it was mostly because I was unable to just... stop making so many noises,” Remus admitted, the last words carried more of the frustration he had felt than he really wanted it to.

Severus nodded, and after a few moments, he said, “I still need to stress that it is impertinent for you to be honest about these things. Being frustrated for failing in a challenging exercise, to begin with, is very different from struggling to cope with restricted breathing. You should have mentioned it, even if it wasn’t the main source of your frustration. I need to know those things to correctly judge your reactions. And I need you to understand this, Wolf.”

Remus felt suitably chastised and nodded. Severus hadn’t even raised his voice. The tone and the truth of the words were enough to make Remus busy himself with his teacup to avoid his gaze.

“It’s not that I wanted to keep it from you. I just thought it would go away, I just had to get through the beginning, that was hard.”

“You should still have told me. Do you understand that?”

Remus nodded.

Then after a short pause, Severus continued, “You were so thorough when answering the list I gave you, do you think it is easier for you to write than speak, concerning your feelings and needs?”

“I think that was… Er—more hypothetical. Ideas, rather than—uh, experiences.”

“I see,” Severus said. “Would you say you were honest about how much you liked other things we did? You never quite disagreed with one. The pain from the ring perhaps?”

“No, I liked the ring. Very much so actually,” Remus said with a soft smile. He downed the last bit of his tea, which consisted mostly of partly dissolved sugar and put saucer and cup next to him on the table. “I don’t think there was anything I disliked too much.”

“There was the too abrupt ending of our sessions,” Severus reminded him.

“Well yes, but we have been over that,” Remus said. He hadn’t even thought of that.

“Still,” Severus said. “It is the second time you did not tell me of a problem.”

“Yes. I—I should have told you,” Remus said. “I understand that. It’s just… sometimes it is quite hard to… know… I just thought I could deal with it. I didn’t want to… uh—you know, be negative.”

Severus made an impatient noise and Remus added, “I know. I should have…”

Severus nodded. “That brings me back to my question, do you think it would be easier to write? Perhaps you would have less trouble being negative if you must be. I am also open to any other form of communication that you may think of. Other forms of save words or cards can be used for coded communication, for example.”

“Maybe,” Remus said but thought it was rather ridiculous to communicate with cards or code words. He had not very much interest in writing about his feelings either when he was perfectly honest. But he also understood Severus’ need for more communication.

“Wolf?” Severus asked after another few moments of silence.

“That is…” Remus started. ‘Childish’ was the first thing that came to mind, but he finished with “…maybe helpful. I’ll think about it.”

“Please do,” Severus said. “And please do think about the discrepancy between what you would like to be in these sessions and what you can achieve. You will become better at it. I see you trying and improving. But it is not conducive to learning if you become too uncomfortable and start to perhaps even dread our sessions.” Severus put a hand on Remus’ shoulders and squeezed it lightly at the end, and Remus just nodded, unable to find a response.

“We should go upstairs,” Severus said but waited for Remus to agree before he turned and waited again for Remus to follow.

“Is there anything you need or would like to do? Perhaps another tea?” Severus asked when they entered the small hallway. The thing in the jar was slowly rotating in the liquid. Remus had trained himself to automatically look away from it, but today he was too distracted and caught its gaze. They seemed to follow him around wherever he was in the hallway, perpetually caught in the horror and fury of a fight for survival which it had clearly lost.

“Oh… uh, yes, I’ll make it myself, if that's alright with you?” Remus said prying his eyes away from the jar.

“If you insist,” Severus said but followed him to the kitchen and handed Remus his wand.

“Thanks,” Remus mumbled.

With a purification charm on the water, that didn’t boil and thus didn’t burn the tea leaves, and a correctly applied steeping charm, the tea tasted a lot better this time around.

Remus sat down opposite Severus on the kitchen table, still in his blanket, and drew his feet up. The stone floor was always uncomfortably cold, even with his werewolf metabolism. And then, because he felt he wanted something other than sugar to sweeten his tea, he summoned the biscuits that he knew were still in the pantry.

Severus frowned but didn't comment, and Remus grinned at him. At first, he needed to work quite hard on the tight muscles to let the corners of his mouth perk up, but then it felt like with it a lot of tension faded away with it.

“Forgot about those,” he said in a way that made it obvious it wasn’t true. Nobody should go without biscuits in their household, so he hadn’t returned them to the house elves.

He dipped the biscuits into the tea, before nibbling on the soft mass. Severus’ face also relaxed after a few minutes and he even took a biscuit. Looking back, that must have been quite an upset for him as well.

“We will not continue the exercise like we did today,” Severus said after Remus had finished two of the biscuits.

Remus nodded with some relief. After he had eaten another biscuit, Remus said, “It's a shame, I really liked the mask… Before we used it like that”

“Would you like to wear it outside of training?” Severus asked.

“I think so…” Remus said slowly. “It’s nice when I have more control of myself. Maybe wait a bit…”

“I will remind you that it is advised to continue sooner rather than later after an incident that may prove to be slightly traumatic.”

“Fall from a broom, and all that…” Remus agreed, mostly to give himself some time to think. “Now?” He really didn't want to. He felt his throat closing just thinking about it. But then, that was probably what Severus meant by slightly traumatic.

“That is in your complete control.”

Remus took a sip of his tea and said, more to himself, “I did enjoy it.” He thought for a moment. “I think it would be a good idea if I could take it off myself, at first at least.”

A few minutes later Remus sat next to his Master’s feet. He had given the blanket and wand back after he had cast a few cleaning charms on himself.

After a few more minutes, Remus started to relax against his Master’s knees, the mask in his hands. Severus had summoned a parchment and after initially writing for a while, he now seemed to add notes every now and again. Remus didn’t mind. There was less pressure when he wasn’t Severus’ only source of entertainment.

Remus took the mask and turned it slowly in his hands. It looked so… unassuming with the dark leather and neat seams.

He sat up straighter, took a deep breath and put the mask on, holding it on both sides, breathing through it deeply a few times. His heartbeat which had spiked when he had put it on slowed down with each breath, he took but didn’t quite return to normal. He lifted the mask, just so he could convince himself that he could take it off again. He put it on again and breathed deeply again, before putting it down.

“How is it?” Severus asked.

“I–fine,” Remus said, and put it back on, holding it in place. Funny how easy it was when his body didn’t insist on eliciting sighs and groans. He sat there and breathed through it for some time before he relaxed against Severus' knees once again. He felt his Master’s hand on his head and moved slightly towards it. And it started rubbing small circles on his scalp.

When Severus’ hand had retracted to add something to the parchment, Remus leaned forward and intentionally made noises. His heart stopped for a moment when the too-familiar feeling in his throat built up. He closed his eyes in an attempt to calm himself and concentrated on releasing the pressure. And then he could breathe again.

It was alright.

After a moment he repeated the exercise. He leaned back against his master’s knees and his Master’s hand returned to his head.

“I think that’s enough for today,” Severus said and held his hand out.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and returned the mask.

“How do you feel?”

“A lot better, Master. Thank you.”

Severus held out the parchment he had been writing on. “This is a list of practices we have been doing recently. I want you to rate each one from one to five based on your level of enjoyment. You will fill it out carefully and return it to me next time we meet. You may add notes if you wish.”

Remus took the parchment and blushed. “Yes, Master,” he said.

“Look at me,” Severus said.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and chose to turn and kneel before his Master, to be able to look at him better.

“If I find out that you weren’t honest filling out that list, or you keep hiding important facts from me, I cannot continue our meetings, do you understand?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

Severus met his gaze with the promise he would keep his word burning in his eyes and then nodded and relaxed back into the sofa. “You may read if you wish.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said and got up.

He had started to greatly enjoy the quiet companionship he found in the evenings when they both read in the living room. It had been awkward at first, but after a few times, Severus visibly relaxed. Remus liked this less guarded version of Severus a lot more than the stiff black presence, looming over him in discomfort.

“Don’t you own a single novel, Master?” Remus asked, having not found a single one in his vast collection, and even his hints about wanting to read something with a plot had resulted in none.

“I do. More than one to be precise,” Severus said and looked up from the tome he was reading. “They are at my house,” he added after a moment, probably catching the proverbial question mark on Remus’ face.

“So, you just pretend you don’t have any? What genre do you like?”

“Most of them were my mothers’.”

“So, you really don't read any, then?” Remus asked. Not sure what to say on the topic of Severus’ mother and why he kept her books.

“I don’t waste my time with frivolous literature.”

Remus couldn’t quite imagine Severus reading fiction. Though he had also not thought Severus would do roleplaying. Wasn’t that equally frivolous?

“I don’t think they are a waste of time, Master,” Remus said thoughtfully.

“Debatable,” Severus looked up and raised an eyebrow for Remus to elaborate.

“They can teach you about… you know—humans,” Remus explained, not pretending any more to be interested in Severus’ herbology books.

“What is there to be learned?”

“How others perceive the world, different perspectives and reasoning on a variety of topics, that you are not alone with some struggles…,” Remus listed.

“I like facts in my reading,” Severus responded.

“But aren’t they facts in a sense, that they always mirror another person's experiences in one way or another? I think it helped me to be more patient with the people around me.”

“Are you suggesting I need to read more novels?” Severus asked, putting down his book for good. He didn’t seem upset, rather willing to indulge Remus.

“No, Master,” Remus said. “I just mean, it is not frivolous. Not always anyway. But I suppose some are. Sometimes I just want to… not have to think so much while reading, I suppose – just experience a story, not worry about having to remember facts right or think too hard about what I’m reading,” he confessed. Feel some kind of connection to another human being, even if only through words on a page. But he didn’t voice that sentiment, it sounded pathetic, even in his own mind.

“I cannot say I ever felt like that.” And when Remus thought it was all he would get, Severus added, “There are too many interesting things to learn.”

“In your potion research?”

“Primarily but not exclusively,” Severus said and left it at that, to return to his book about the usage of animal blood in healing potions. Remus knew he was searching for something for an experiment but hadn’t bothered to ask Severus about the details.

“Is there anything you would like to do while you stay with me over the holidays,” Severus asked when Remus had finally settled on a history book and sat at his Master's feet, which was quickly becoming his favourite spot.

“I just want to be a good pet, Master. Be trained… so I can serve you better. If you would be… uh… if you thought it would be a good idea to intensify my training, that would probably be a good time…” Remus said.

“I meant,” Severus said. “If you… had no Master, what would you do? Like the walks in the forest, you seem to be so fond of.”

“I would… I mean—if my Master would need me to find some potion ingredients in the forest, I would probably rather enjoy that task. Or if it would be a reward for good behaviour… I thought I could see if I could find Fiexte in Wistman's Wood before you invited me. Their winter coat is supposed to be very beautiful, nearly pearl-like.”

“And they are dangerous if not left alone.”

“Mhm”, Remus agreed. “I have a few spells to mask my presence… Post importantly Presentia Interia Ductere do you know it, Master?” Remus turned half around to see his Master’s reaction, but he only shook his head.

“Its use cases are rather limited,” Remus admitted. “It hides the magical signature—well from some creatures, at least. It doesn’t work for Revelio or spells like that. And it’s rather complicated, so it’s not something you’d want to cast in a pinch,” Remus explained and then continued with a quick monologue about Fiexte. How they were nearly hunted to extinction because of their fur, how they could be only found in magical forests where their keen sense of magic allowed them to find magical creatures as a food source–including wizards. How their foals were born in the winter, and how they were nearly impossible to see in the snowy forests of northern Britain.

“And you think you can find them?” Severus asked after he had patiently listened to Remus’ rambles.

“Who knows? There are only a few herds left, which are rather hard to find, so I don’t really have high hopes… To be honest, while I think magical creatures are fascinating, half of it is a preteens to go outside,” Remus said.

“I will never understand your obsession with the outdoors.”

“It’s not an obsession. It just... calms me, Master.”

“Do you need a lot of calming?”

“Uh,” Remus said, not sure how to answer that. “I think everybody has something that… uh—makes them relax. I like to read and go outside, music…. You seem to find potion research and brewing relaxing, others like flying…” Remus trailed off. “When I was very small, we had a forest right behind our yard. I spend whole summers trying to find some deer or watch the otters in the stream… and ducks. There were so many ducks. My mother would give me peas and oats to feed them.” Remus smiled at the memory.

“Ducks…” Severus said. Remus wasn’t quite sure if he was making fun of it or what he was trying to convey. In any case, Remus still liked ducks. The carefree way they quacked about made him smile even in hard times.

“Yes. Well, I was young and rather easily excited, Master.”

And then he had been bitten, and they had had to move. Away from the forest that smelled of resin, dry leaves, and hot summer afternoons in Remus’ memory.

They had been reading for about an hour, when Severus asked, “How do you feel now?”

“Uh—good, Master. We could also do something—uhm, you know.”

“Do I know, Wolf?” Severus asked.

“Whatever my Master wishes,” Remus said and bent his head.

“Anything?” There was a raised eyebrow that warned Remus to be honest.

“Well, if my Master chose to… uhm, not continue training for the night, I—Uhm, would be rather relieved.”

“Anything else you would be relieved not to do?”

“No, Master. I want to serve you, Master, in any way you see fit. My only wish is to be of use to you.”

“I see. Tell me, Wolf, what rating would you give to the practice in line four?”

Remus grabbed the list from the coffee table and read, ‘Being used for pleasure by your Master, anal, gentle and sufficient stretching to not cause pain.’ In contrast to line five, which read ‘Being used for pleasure by your Master, anal, minimal stretching, most likely painful.’

“That depends, Master. May I look at you?”

“Does that affect the score?” Severus asked.

Remus thought about it for a moment. “I’m not sure. It really depends on my mood, I think. Both have their perks. Would I be explicitly forbidden to look, with punishment if I don’t?”

“Yes. Answer the question based on how you feel about it right now.”

“Then… a 4.5?”

“And if I would allow it?”

“Uhm… a… four.”

Severus frowned and there was an awkward silence. “How can you be so frank about this and yet you struggle to say ‘no’ when it matters?” his Master mused.

Remus looked down. “I don’t know, Master.” It was just different. But it was hard to put into words.

“Maybe I should make you write an essay about it,” his Master thought aloud, rubbing his chin with his index finger.

“Don’t you have enough essays to grade already, Master?”

“I am sure your essays would be much more interesting than reading the same mediocre ramblings about the same basic potion concepts year after year.”

“So... Er—is that an order, Master?”

His Master raised an eyebrow. “Do you want it to be?”

Remus could feel his cheeks heat. “No, Master. I don’t think I would like to write about that topic very much.”

“Mhm,” Severus said. “Let’s discuss that another time.” Then his voice grew softer. “Are you really up for line four? You won’t disappoint me if you say no.”

“I’d very much like to serve you tonight, Master,” Remus said.

“Get on all four, no moving, no talking.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and swiftly got into position.

Severus was rather gentle and very slow and made sure Remus was alright a couple of times.

“I’m fine, Master,” Remus said, suppressing a little impatience. He couldn’t be mad at Severus for treating carefully after what happened today with the mask.

Chapter Text

Remus had put his best work into the glamours on his robes, holding the small book he had found in a bookstore a month or two ago and wrapped in paper with Christmas trees and stars. He smoothed his hair, which had been ruffled by the quick spin of the Apparition, and walked down the street.

His father’s house had a new coat of paint this year, his father kept it in good shape—always had. The garden looked wild, but in a controlled sort of way, which his father preferred.

“Remus,” his father said when he had opened the door, and a smile spread on his face that became more wrinkled every time Remus saw him, “Nice to see you!”

Remus smiled back. “Hi, Dad.”

His father let him in and looked him up and down. “You look good. How are you?”

“Good,” Remus confirmed.

“I heard about… Sirius.” The last word was spoken in a lower register, as if it were a dirty secret.

“Ah, yes,” Remus said and squeezed past him. “That’s… well…”

“Are you alright? It can’t be easy, after everything…”

“Yes, Dad, I’m fine,” Remus said. He was if he didn’t think too much about the whole thing.

“You don’t know anything that’s not in the papers, do you?”

Remus shook his head.

“Ah, well,” his father said. “The Aurors will find him.”

“I really hope they do,” Remus agreed.

They went to the living room, while his father thankfully changed the subject and told him about the garden. Remus listened attentively. He had always thought a garden would be neat. Watching the plants that you planted with your own two hands grow from a small seed. Remus imagined it to be satisfying. But that was another thing he would probably never have, he thought, while the conversation shifted to a family that had moved in two houses down and a few other things that his father deemed noteworthy.

They exchanged gifts, each a book, and after that, his father looked him up and down again. “You really do look better… less… tired. Did something happen?”

“No, I mean, I do have a job that I managed to keep for a few months, which is nice. They… they supply me with wolfsbane…”

“Oh really? That must be a relief.” There was a certain guarded note in his father’s voice, like always when they talked about his curse.

Remus nodded. Indeed, it was a relief to not have to chain himself up each month. But his father needn’t know this bit of information about his life, and Remus had no intention of changing it.

“Is it less… you know—uh—painful?” his father nearly whispered the last word. As if saying refusing to say facts out loud would make them go away. Severus just named the things as they were, and Remus found himself appreciating that characteristic of his Master quite a bit, while he listened to his father tiptoeing around subjects.

“No,” Remus said. “But it’s alright.” He very much hoped his tone conveyed how little he wanted to talk about this topic.

“But you are being careful, right? Always drink it as prescribed. Make sure there is a fail save…”

“Yes, Dad, I’m careful,” Remus said patiently. “You know I am.”

“Yes, I just worry you might… you know... I don’t want you to…” He made a nodding motion, which meant Azkaban or death.

“Yes,” Remus said. As if Remus didn’t worry about that every month in excess, mostly though about what would cause his imprisonment or death—someone else getting hurt or infected.

“So where do you work? Must me a very accepting place.”

“It is,” Remus agreed. “All my coworkers know. Some handle it better than others, but most of them don’t seem to have a problem with it.

“What do you do? Nothing illegal?”

“No, dad, nothing illegal.”

“So, what do you do?”

“Teaching,” Remus said.

“Not Hogwarts, right?” his father asked, his teacup stoppling halfway to his mouth, his face darkening. He had never forgiven Dumbledore for dragging his son into a war. Thinking Remus had been too young to make that decision rationally. But even after all that had happened, so many years later, Remus thought he would still choose to fight. He just wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t at least try. Though, thinking back on it, they had never talked about it. Or rather, his father had hinted at nearly every time they had met, while Remus had sat there and listened, not wanting to conjure up an argument.

Remus nodded. “It’s the best job I've had in years,” Remus said into the sudden silence.

“But—”

“I really like teaching. And the staff is accepting,” Remus continued stubbornly.

His father didn’t look very happy, but he seemed to accept that there was nothing he could do. After a few minutes, Remus managed to distract him enough for the mood to return to nearly normal by telling him all about the Fiexte, he was trying to find for the next few days.

And then, finally, it was time to go.

“Be careful, son. You know I worry about you. And write some time, will you?”

“Yes, Dad,” Remus said.

“I mean it. I’m always happy to hear from you. And you know you can come by whenever you like.”

“Thank you, Dad,” Remus said.

“And if you need anything, just ask. Money, or a place to stay…” He put a heavy hand on Remus’ shoulder and caught his eyes, which Remus had tried to avert. He had brought his family enough worries, even death. His father had earned himself some peace and quiet.

“I will,” Remus said. They both knew he wouldn’t.

“See you, Dad,” Remus said, and he Apparated away, collapsing in his armchair when he had made it back to his quarters, feeling more drained than a whole week of teaching children could ever accomplish.

Remus held yet another Christmas present in his hands, this time for Severus. He wondered if he should really pack it or hope Severus wouldn't notice he hadn’t received a gift–knowing Severus, he probably wouldn't, or at least wouldn’t mind. On the other hand, what could go wrong, except Severus not liking it? After a short deliberation, he stuffed it on top of his clothes in his suitcase and closed it shut before he could change his mind. It was a bit fuller than he had thought it would be when he had started packing. Or more like repacking. He hadn’t completely unpacked yet. Only the things he needed most days had a permanent place outside his suitcase. He had emptied the suitcase out and stacked the contents in a corner of his bedroom, to return after his little trip.

He had agonized far too much over how many clothes he would need, assuming he would wear rather few most of the time. In the end, he had packed all his robes and extra pyjamas. If he didn’t have a wand, he couldn’t clean his clothes, and he liked to be prepared.

How strange it would feel to not have his wand for whole days on end, he mused, while he sat down in the living room to wait for Severus, flipping through one of the library books without real interest. His mind was on the days ahead.

Finally, at exactly 2 pm, he stepped into the fire and Floo’ed to Severus’ office.

“Wolf,” he greeted Remus with a nod.

“Good afternoon, Master,” Remus said, put his suitcase down and kneeled. It was always a safe bet. He offered his wand to his Master, who took it and stored it in an inside pocket of his robes. Then he summoned the collar and bent down to put it on Remus, where it would stay for the next few days.

“Ready?” Severus asked, and Remus nodded with a dry mouth.

They Floo’ed another time. With a few wand motions, Severus shut the floo connection off while Remus took in the room. He had been dying to find out how Severus’ house looked.

If anything, it was more depressing than the dungeons.

The living room they had arrived in was small, and somehow it felt even more cramped from the choice of décor and colours. The furniture was worn and held in dark leather and wood. Overstuffed bookshelves towered over the room, covering every inch of the walls.

It nearly seemed as if the bookshelves had spilled out of the living room and into the hallway, making it impossible for two people to pass each other except in the tiny entrance area. Dim yellowed light fell through the rectangular window of the front door and hit a dark blue carpet, whose colour had faded with time.

The kitchen was well equipped with Muggle appliances and looked like they had gone back in time about thirty years.

“It’s from the previous owner,” Severus explained when Remus noted this first fact aloud.

In a corner were even more books, though those were all cookbooks, well used and equally old as the rest of the kitchen, judging by the yellowing of the pages and faded colours on the spines.

“You are responsible for keeping the kitchen clean,” Severus informed him before he showed Remus to the potions lab, which might have been planned as a bedroom and of course, Severus' bedroom upstairs under the roof. A single bathroom was squeezed next to the kitchen.

Remus would sleep in his cage in the living room, behind the sofa. It had been moved from the place against the bookshelves to make space for it. It was also the space, Severus explained, that he could always go to and would be undisturbed if he needed to retreat. Alternatively, he could use the kitchen and close the door.

Exercises would take place in the potion’s lab and punishments in one of the two basement rooms, which seemed to have been cleared only recently. It was a small, bare room of concrete walls and floor, with only a tiny window which had been bricked up at some point, leaving the room completely protected from outside influences. Remus had no interest in spending time in there.

Severus left him to acclimate in the living room. He had free reign of the house. “For now,” as Severus made sure to clarify.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

“Your bag,” Severus said and held out his hand.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and handed it over, with a strange feeling. Yet another thing he gave in Severus’ care in a place he hadn’t never been to before. No wand. No apparition. No Flooing. It was strangely exhilarating and frightening at the same time.

Remus watched Severus leave the room, and Remus stood for a moment in the living room, unsure of what to do now. He should probably check the kitchen if he was to make dinner for Severus later. For his Master, he reminded himself.

After a thorough check, Remus concluded that there was everything he would need to cook. This kitchen was much better equipped than Severus’ kitchen at Hogwarts for cooking without magic. There was even a toaster—and electricity.

Sharing rooms for over a decade with people who had very differing definitions of the concept of cleanliness, Remus had seen a lot worse, but he did note that the corners of the room had collected a lot of dust. With a sharp edge, where the cleaning spell had skipped over the crevices. He stared at one of them for a moment, imagining him cleaning it with his master towering over him, checking if he had been through enough.

On his way back to the living room, he idly read some of the books' titles in the hallway. It looked like the herbology sections, and after that, miscellaneous.

He wondered where his wand was and what he would do if somehow a guest turned up or something happened—maybe a potion accident? He would be completely helpless. He trusted Severus to handle it, but there might be some scenario where Severus couldn’t react.

And then again, he did tend to overthink a bit. So, he shook his head to get rid of the thought while he climbed into the cage and had a look around. The sofa shielded him nicely from the rest of the living room if he really did want some privacy. Though if Severus chose, he could simply step around, and Remus had little way to hide.

Finally, he joined Severus in his potion lab. It was the only room in the house that didn’t seem neglected. The furniture was newer and well cared for. There was no dust in the corners, or between the glass bottles and small containers holding the ingredients. They stood on shelves that spanned from both sides of the window along the walls above the workbench. The workbench was higher in the middle and then dropped on both ends, so the cauldrons heated there would be on a comfortable level for someone standing, made from wood that seemed recently oiled. There was a desk to the left; to the right was a bookshelf with an assortment of potion books and notebooks, which were labelled by Severus' scratchy handwriting.

It seemed to be the only room in the house Severus had especially created to suit his needs.

Severus was sitting at the desk, had a book open in front of him, and took notes. “Do you find everything satisfactory?”

“Yes, Master.” He wondered for a moment if he should compliment the house but was saved from the awkwardness when Severus spoke again.

“Undress,” he ordered and put the quill down.

“Yes, Mater,” Remus said and did as he was told, while Severus leaned back and watched. When Remus realized, he slowed down slightly, making sure to move his hips a bit more than was strictly necessary. He put his clothes on the floor next to the door and looked up for further instruction.

“Come here.” His Master gestured to the middle of the room. “You will stand still, look at the wall, hands behind your head. Legs shoulder width.”

His Master got up and circled Remus once.

“You said you did not have any preexisting conditions except lycanthropy, is that correct?”

“Yes, Master, not that I am aware of anyways,” Remus said.

“We’ll see,” his Master said, drew his wand, and mumbled some incantations. Remus felt the characteristic pulling, nudging, and tingling of examination spells, and suddenly, the cage around his midsection was yet again rather tight.

“Wolf?” his Master asked with a look at what was happening.

“I’m sorry, Master,” Remus said, feeling his cheeks heat.

“I cannot examine you in this state,” his Master said, looking him up and down. He must have known it would make Remus even harder.

“List the ingredients of the Wolfsbane potion in alphabetical order,” Severus said after a moment’s thought.

“What? Er–Yes, Master…,” Remus said. “Aco– Er, Yes, Aconite and then Activated Charcoal,” Remus said. His memory of the ingredients was lacking at best.

“Bulbadox… Cedar sapling roots…”

He felt the sensation of more examination spells but ignored them as best he could. He closed his eyes and forced himself to concentrate on the ingredients and slowly popped out word after word until his Master said,

“Wrong.”

“What?”

“Wrong. What did you miss?”

“Er—,” Remus said. “I don’t know. I must admit, I don’t know all ingredients by heart, Master.”

Remus didn’t quite know what the expression Severus wore when he looked at him after that statement was meant to mean. Exasperation, or maybe impatience? There was surely a hint of disbelief that made him look down.

“What is the most common usage of Werewolf blood in potions?”

“Er…,” Remus said, but then he realized he did know that one. James and Sirius had tried to come up with their own potion in their sixth year. The potion kept exploding, and they had thought loudly about how to extract the blood from him during a full moon night. Thankfully, they had refrained from going through with their plans.

“Due to its highly magical nature, it is able to absorb and release magic as needed to stabilize potions,” Remus said with a pang in his chest at the memory.

“Correct. What is the function of poppy carpel in sleeping potions?” He continued to cast spells from time to time, while he took extensive notes behind Remus’ back on the desk. Remus shot a few glances over his shoulder whenever he thought he could get away with it, but of course, he couldn’t read what Severus wrote.

“It makes you… sleepy, Master?” Remus answered cautiously, sensing a trick question.

“It has one other function. Do you know it?”

“I don’t, Master.”

“It reacts with the Floocathair. Why is that important?”

If he hadn’t been distracted by the examination, he might have been able to answer a few more questions. And was it not for the questions, which really didn’t do that much to lessen his erection, he would have been able to enjoy the prodding spells traveling over his body much more. Maybe he could have been imagining what his Master may find that needed to be ratified in some fun little roleplay. On the other hand, it was a way for his Master to assert control, Remus supposed. And this way, his Master spoke with him, which was nice, too.

At the start, Severus had cast spells that had encompassed his whole body, but now he worked his way methodically down from Remus' head to his chest, his arms, hips, and legs. All the time asking him questions and stopping regularly to take notes of whatever he was finding.

Remus yelped when Severus cast charms on his feet—he was so ticklish. Severus did not continue with that part of his body. Instead, he sat down on the desk and wrote for a while in silence. Only the scratching of the quill filled the room. There couldn’t be that much about his physiology of note, could there?

“Are those scars all from your transformations?” Severus asked at one point, gesturing at Remus’ body.

“Most of them, Master.”

“Which ones aren’t?”

“Er,” Remus said, wondering if he was allowed to move, but he couldn’t see how to answer the question without. “This one was a curse,” he pointed at a spot that looked more like a burn scar than a claw mark–because it was. “And here… also a curse. Those were silver.” He spread his hands to show where a few Sickles had burned his skin over the years whenever he hadn’t been careful or hadn’t wanted to draw attention. “This one, too. And this was the bite that uh… turned me.” He gestured to his hip, where the teeth marks were still quite visible, and his flesh deformed where the wolf had bitten it out.

He hated looking at it and thinking of the pain he still could remember vividly and the feeling of something being wrong, spreading through his body. And while he had never seen it, because he had been busy fighting for his life and screaming, he also imagined a closeup of the teeth sinking into his flesh.

Severus nodded and made more notes and then sat down on the desk for a while.

“Wolf, does your hip ever hurt?”

“Sometimes.”

“You did not tell me.”

“It comes and goes, Master.”

“It needs to be tended to.”

“It’s not that bad…”

And there was, of course, the money aspect of getting a healer to look at the hip. And the fact that it was near impossible to find a healer that was willing to treat a werewolf. And even rarer, if not impossible, to find a healer that would actually know about the curse, and its related physical ailments.

“Wolf,” Severus said. “You are forgetting something—again.”

“Yes, Master, I am sorry,” Remus said. “It seems convoluted sometimes.”

“It is a form of respect, Wolf. Do you respect me as your Master?”

“Yes, of course, Master.”

“Then you will show it.”

“Yes, Master.”

“I will start punishing you for your negligence from now on.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

“You will tell me whenever your hip hurts from now on,” Severus said, returning to the original topic.

“Yes, Master.”

Severus stood up and held the cane, which he had summoned so quickly, Remus had barely noticed, against Remus' backside. “Why are you being punished?”

“I did not address you properly, Master.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I forgot, Master,” Remus said.

He felt the cane on his backside lift, and a split-second later, pain erupted where it had pressed against his skin a moment before. He bit his lip but didn't react otherwise, except, of course, with the obligatory counting.

“Start preparing my dinner,” his Master said when he had finished the caning.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, and wandered over to the kitchen, waiting to nurse his hurting backside until he was out of his Master’s sight.

The caning hadn’t been as bad as Remus had feared. Still, he was glad to do something that didn’t require sitting right now. The spots where the cane had hit still stung, and it took Remus a lot of self-control to keep himself from rubbing where it still hurt after he had washed his hands and started cooking. He had earned the pain with his negligence, and his Master had been right to do so.

To distract himself he made a rough plan for the next few days of what to cook when. While the fennel with potatoes and cream sauce baked in the oven.

Remus would get nourishment potion almost exclusively. He had somewhat gotten used to its taste by now. So, the thought didn’t bother him much, but it also didn’t do much for him. Severus on the other hand really seemed to like it, so he didn’t see a reason to protest. He had, nonetheless, taken the liberty to eat an unhealthy amount of chocolate the evening before.

While he was waiting for dinner to be ready, he wondered about those mysterious previous owners and how Severus had come to own a house that was so very clearly muggle-owned before. Maybe some relatives? Remus had somehow always assumed Severus was pureblood. But now that he thought about it, he had never heard of another “Snape” in the wizarding world before. And it wasn’t that big.

His mother’s books, he remembered Severus say. He looked at the cookbooks in the corner of the kitchen and wondered.

But he shrugged the thought off. It didn’t really matter. Though he did thank the previous owners for investing in muggle kitchen appliances. He had gotten better at making bread in the pan, but… this would just be so much easier in the morning.

He kneeled next to Severus while he ate, deep in thought. He still felt uneasy; the floor under his knees felt too soft, the noises of the cars came wavering through the thin walls, the faint smell of old smoke and neglect was everywhere in the house. But it wasn’t that, not exclusively, more like they reminded him that he was in a place he didn’t know without a wand.

He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of cutlery against plate, the faint rustle of Severus’ robes while he ate, pretending they were still in Hogwarts and this was a normal evening. He imagined the cold stone floor beneath his legs, the quiet of the kitchen that was so deep in the dungeons that it hardly let in any outside sounds, and the distinct smell of polished furniture, books, and the humming of Hogwarts’ magic in the background of it all.

“What is it with you and your absolute refusal to learn about potions to make your life easier? It’s like you want to suffer,” his Master asked, completely oblivious to the fact that he had completely ruined Remus’ small fantasy with his words.

Remus held his eyes closed just a tiny moment longer before he refocused on the dingy kitchen, unable to find a satisfactory answer to the question.

It was hard enough to muster the energy to start again after each job he lost, after each town he left, each new room, each new… life. Some days, he had barely managed to get out of bed, feeling like the time between shifts was never enough to recover from the menial tasks he did during the day.

Though, not that he thought about it, that had changed quite drastically over the last months. Most days, he even looked forward to the next one, to teach, to see Severus, and to talk to his colleagues, he didn’t need to hide his true self from. Maybe his father had been right in that he was happier…? He was. It just wouldn’t last.

“I asked you a question, Wolf,” his Master said and bent sideways slightly, so he could see Remus’ face.

“Yes, Master. I, Er—I am sure it would help. I just never found the time,” Remus said. Money was another issue. Brewing was an expensive hobby.

“One can find the time for nearly anything, if one prioritizes correctly.”

“Yes, Master.”

“You said you could see how it may be fascinating,” Severus returned to the topic after he had finished his dinner and pushed the plate away.

“Yes, Master.”

“Tell me why.”

“Well, it's… a very complex subject, I mean how all the ingredients interact with one another… and how their properties can change when mixed with one another… or processed in different ways. How intricate some of the brewing processes are… Just a tad too much of one component, and the effect might be completely different…”

“The art of brewing is a very nuanced one,” Severus agreed. He leaned forward and Remus, knowing what was going to happen, let Severus direct his head back and open his mouth so Severus could pour the nourishment potion in his mouth sip by sip, closing Remus’ mouth after each time and holding his chin up, so he could do nothing but swallow. Not that Remus had planned to spit it out again, though once or twice, the thought had crossed his mind. Just to see how Severus would react.

“Would you like to help me brew while we are here then?”

“Yes, Master, I will do whatever I can to help you in whatever task you need my help,” Remus replied, maybe a tad eagerly, imagining himself gutting Flubberworms or something equally unpleasant so his Master didn’t have to.

After that, they settled down in the living room. Severus produced one of the black notebooks he had so many of and held it out for Remus to take.

“This is yours now. You will have the chance to write in it once a day and hand it to me afterwards. You may choose what to write, how detailed it will be, or what style it will be in. It can be in letter form or bullet points. Perhaps a journal. Whatever you like it to be.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “Is there… anything in particular I should uh… write about?”

“Whatever you wish to share,” was Severus’ helpful answer. “Now go and write if you have anything you want to write. If not, you may still think about how you would like to use it.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “Here?”

“If you wish. Or in the kitchen.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said, bowing his head slightly. He sat at the small coffee table, kneeling. Crossing his legs would be more comfortable, but he liked the formality.

Remus stared at the first empty page for quite some time. He had always disliked the first page of a new notebook. Even in school, he had never used them. He turned the page, and now he was confronted with another blank page, but at least, it wasn’t the first one one would see when opening the book.

Should he just make a list, like the one Severus had given him before Christmas with activities and his enjoyment of them? Potion quizzes would probably not rank very highly. But no, a list wasn’t quite personal enough. He really liked the idea of writing a diary. And his Master reading all the little secrets he would write in it. He dipped the quill Severus had given him in the ink bottle and slowly wrote:

Dear Diary,

He stopped and had no idea how to continue.

my Master has finally invited me to his home, which was a great honour. Here, it is only us two, no distractions.

My Master made sure I am physically well today. My hip seems to bother him more than it does me. And I have lived with the discomfort it sometimes causes for years now. There are few opportunities for pets to see healers. But I feel my heart warm when my Master shows concern like that.

Here Remus stopped again, cringing at the last sentences, true as it may be. As he didn’t have a wand and didn’t want to make the entry messy by crossing out sentences, he continued:

He has also shown me how very lacking my potion knowledge is. I think at the end, he asked me questions, second or third years could have answered, and I found myself struggling. It was shameful, really. But then, I never put much thought or effort into the craft, neither in my school days nor after.

Did he want to write about how strange he had felt today? How… vulnerable? Probably not. But his Master would probably want to know, didn’t he? He had wanted to know when his hip hurt, and when Remus had been struggling with the mask and had had trouble after that one session…

Remus cast his gaze around the room. Severus was concentrating on a book and writing in the margin, again. Remus nearly winced when he saw his Master scratch something out in the leather-bound book, that looked quite old and expensive and hastily looked elsewhere. His gaze landed on the bookshelves. Remus decided he would soon have a look at the novel section. It only took up half the bookshelf, tightly packed as it was. The rest of the books in the living room and hallway were non-fiction, as far as Remus could tell. Some herbology, transfiguration, defence, dark arts, charms, magical theory, and of course, potions. The books had been stuffed in every free cubic centimetre of air available, even more than in his Masters’ quarters at Hogwarts. It hurt his heart to see them being written in and so recklessly squished in the bookshelves, suffocating them. They deserved to be lined up neatly on a shelf, each one displayed equally gracefully, proudly standing, ready to be taken out and read at any time, without causing an avalanche of other books.

He noticed Severus watching him and hastily returned to his notebook, now probably better called diary, and stopped, deciding to just write what he thought, hoping his Master would not be too annoyed.

Lastly, I was astonished by how much a change of scenery can accomplish. I am truly at my Master’s mercy here. It is thrilling and frightening at the same time. I know he would never harm me intentionally. Still, just for the possibility of anything unforeseen happening, I wished I would know where my wand was. So that I can act if necessary.

Of course, this is in my Master's right—and necessary as I am just a pet—to withhold my wand. I would never dare to criticise my Master in this way. He has his reasons, and even if he didn’t, there was nothing my Master could decide that I would criticise, as he is—after all—my Master. The only person in my life that should matter. The one that gives my life direction and purpose and the one that knows what’s best for me.

I will work on myself to accept my Master's decisions more easily, even if they aren’t what I would like them to be. My Master is right, and I am wrong if I disagree with him.

He just hoped that his reflections on it being his Master's choice would ease whatever feelings Severus would have towards his request. Was he too pushy? Too whiny? Too much a pet? Not enough?

He was just mourning the unavailability of a good rewriting spell when he was ripped from his thoughts.

“A lot on your mind, Wolf?” Severus asked.

“Yes, Master.”

“Anything you want to discuss?”

“No, Master. I am finished with my diary entry for today,” Remus said, quickly adding, ‘Yours, a pet wolf,’ to not give himself any more time to second guess. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but it didn’t have to be.

“Very well. There is another matter to be discussed,” his Master said, and summoned the gift Remus had packed for Severus. He had allowed Severus in advance to go through his things because that was what a Master should be able to do. In fact, he had been the one to suggest it.

“It's for you, Master. A Christmas present,” Remus said, probably quite unnecessarily.

“I surmised as much,” his Master said gently. “I also have a gift, though it is not… quite material.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said. “Though a pet, of course, would never expect a gift.”

His Master waved him closer and levitated a box from one of the bookshelves. Remus wondered how he had made the space but was too interested in the content of the box to give it much thought.

“Thank you, Master,” he said and took the present gingerly.

“Open it.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and carefully undid the wrapping. It had been years since he had gotten a present that wasn’t from his father or Mary, and he had absolutely no idea what to expect.

Now his hands trembled lightly when he opened Severus’. The first thing he could spot was a reddish-brown linen cloth.

He took it out carefully and realized it was a robe. A brand-new robe with a plain cut, maybe a bit more form-fitting than he usually preferred, but definitely not excessively so. He had seen more and more Wizards wearing robes like this, so he supposed it was in fashion or something like that.

“Thank you, Master… I—uh,” Remus tried and gave up.

“There are two more in the box,” his Master said.

Remus could feel the colour rise in his cheeks and let the robe sink, wondering how he should react. He had the money now to buy new robes. He had just chosen not to, in case he needed the money for something more important down the line. But maybe his Master disliked him dressing like he did or wanted him to be more presentable? Maybe he should have at least bought one new robe.

“Master, this is… Thank you.” Remus said. “Uh—“

He looked inside the box. The other two were beige and a cool grey. His own present was suddenly looking rather pathetic as he wondered how much this must have cost. The robes weren’t luxurious but of good quality with sturdy cloth and… Well, three of them couldn’t have been cheap.

“Those will remain mine, but you will wear them from now on, Wolf.” Severus caught his gaze. “Only those, do you understand?”

Remus nodded, a bit dazed.

“You will keep them and use them until I see fit to retrieve them from your care.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, with a dry mouth.

“I want to see you in something that belongs to me…” Severus purred. “Every day.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

“It is a constant reminder that you are mine, Wolf. Nobody else will know but us,” Severus said. His voice rumbled, as he always did when he found something arousing. “Don’t you find that exciting?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “Seeing it from that perspective…”

“If you damage them, you will be punished.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, slowly acclimating to the thought. Severus’ talk about them remaining his own was well and good, but they wouldn’t fit him. He had no use for them otherwise and had bought them especially for Remus. But he also didn’t want to make a scene. And now that he had thought about it, he did like the idea of wearing clothes that belonged to his Master. He just wished they could have talked about it before–maybe let him at least pay for half of them…

“May I try one on?” He would find a way to repay Severus at some point. He was quite certain Severus would just wave it off, as he had waved off the cost for the ring and the collar and the huge cage in the basement, when Remus had asked a few weeks ago.

“Of course.” He sounded a bit relieved, probably having picked up on Remus’ discomfort with this rather expensive gift.

After he had tried them all on, of course, they fit perfectly because they had a spell that would fit the cloth to the body shape of the wearer. Looking in the mirror, Remus thought, one could argue, that they did underline his lean figure in complementing ways. A quick glance at Severus told him his Master was quite satisfied with his selection as well.

“Master?” Remus asked.

“Yes?”

“Uhm—does it mean you will choose which one I will wear every day?” he asked. “I mean, will you choose for me, or do you want me to do it?”

His Master thought for a moment, and then he said, “What a smart pet I have. I will tell you which ones to wear on each day.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said.

After that, he handed them back as Severus had full control of all his things while he was here. At the moment, he only wore pants that Severus had also given him. They were loosely cut but the thin cloth left very little to the imagination and reached down to his knees, where they were held by a cord.

Remus' gaze wandered to his own gift, with a small tag that read “Severus”. He hadn’t managed to bring himself to write “Master” on it.

“It’s just… a small thing,” Remus said, kneeling in front of his master and watching Severus unwrapping his present. He bowed down for good measure and because it felt right to do so. He still lifted his head every few seconds and watched his Master's face, which went from curious to frowning.

“It’s er–I know you don’t like novels,” Remus started. “But I thought you might like this one. It’s… well, since you liked watching me… change, and the images in your hallway, I thought you may like body horror,” Remus said. “I thought it was quite graphic, but maybe. Uhm… If you don’t like it, Master, you may punish me.” Suddenly feeling like it had been a huge mistake after all. There was a long pause, and Remus glanced up.

“Keep in position,” Severus said, half distracted as he read the blurb on the back and scanned the first page.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, with a beating heart.

He could hear some pages turning while he pressed his forehead to the floor.

“Did you like it?” Severus asked after a few minutes.

“As I said, I thought it was quite graphic. But I thought maybe that is something you would appreciate,” Remus said.

“I see,” Severus said. “Did you finish it?”

“I skipped over some of the descriptions, Master,” Remus admitted.

“So it’s not a not-so-subtle hint that you would like to roleplay something like that?”

“No, Master. Except, of course, you want to. Though, I am not sure I would like that scenario very much.” The story was about a curse–contagious, of course–that slowly changed the body of the people it befell, making them unable to function on their own, gluing fingers together, changing the direction of a leg. It was rather disturbing at times. And at the same time, Remus had thought, the author hadn’t quite grasped the feelings of a person whose curse transformed their bodies against their will. The utter powerlessness against such magic. The knowledge that there was nothing one could do but wait for it to happen and hope to get through it somehow in one piece. But then again, it wasn’t the point of the novel.

“Why did you buy it then?”

“I got it in a pack with some other books. And… morbid curiosity… the lack of anything else to read… Master.”

“Thank you, pet,” Severus finally said.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said, exhaling slowly, noting the different name his Master had used for him. Pet.

“Are you interested in roleplay at all? Not necessarily this,” he gestured to the book, “scenario.” They hadn’t brought that topic up after Halloween, and Remus hadn’t put much thought into it.

“I have never done one. But I think I would. Maybe… start with something small? I—uhm—today I thought it would be… interesting if you found something in the examination and needed to… correct it.”

“You would prefer medical play then?” his Master asked.

“I don’t know, it was just an idea…”

“I suggest you write this one and any other ideas you may have in your journal.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

“Sit at my feet. You may read if you wish,” his Master said, after he had put the robes and his new book in a pile on the other sofa.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said and crawled over to cuddle his Master's bony knees, still not sure if Severus liked his present or not. But he seemed rather hard to please in that department.

When his Master summoned Remus’ new ‘diary', Remus' stomach dropped just a bit, and he sat up at the memory of what he had written.

“What is it, pet?” his Master asked, as one would ask a restless child, while he opened the notebook.

“Nothing, Master,” Remus said. “I will… uhm, may I choose a book from your collection?” Remus asked.

“If you wish,” his Master said.

Remus watched his Masters’ expression from time to time where he pretended to be interested in the novels. He went through the romance novels that all had pictures of what looked like muggle princesses or well-of daughters from a romanticised version of the 1800s on them, smiling around curled locks of hair, with a castle or a nice landscape in the background. There were also some thriller and detective stories, which Remus presumed were from Severus’ father rather than his mother. He couldn't quite imagine either of them. Severus had always seemed so independent.

His Master did not betray what he was thinking about the entry, and he looked at it much longer than Remus knew he would have needed to read it. He put the book away and looked up.

Remus looked away hastily and continued going through the shelves.

“It is close to your curfew,” his Master said, long after Remus had settled down with an old spell book he had found, which promised rare defensive spells. Though most of the time, there were reasons they weren’t in broader use. Either they were not made to be cast quickly, or they had other drawbacks. He had left the shelves with the novels alone for now. He would get back to it later when he was in the mood for cheesy.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, waiting for instructions, which came promptly.

“I will give you your wand, but while you are here, you will only use it under strict supervision. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “Here? Or in the bathroom?” It seemed quite stupid to go in the bathroom when Severus watched, anyhow.

“In the bathroom,” Severus said.

He stood in the door with crossed arms and watched while Remus performed the spells as quickly as possible and then returned the wand. Then, he led Remus down the hallway, where he put the wand in a rare space between two books, clearly for Remus to see, before returning to the living room and sending him to his cage.

Chapter Text

Remus woke up from the by now familiar click of the cage’s lock opening to his Master’s magic and a command:

“Up!”

Remus blinked a few times to get his eyes to stay open while kicking his blanket away inefficiently. It seemed to make his Master more patient if he looked like he was doing something in the time it took him to wake up enough to coordinate his limbs enough to crawl out of the cage.

When he finally managed his way out, he was none too gently pulled up and pushed forward over the back of the sofa. His Master stopped him just in time from falling face-first into the cushions below. When he was stable, the hands left his arm and shoulder and wandered towards his backside. They made quick process with a rudimentary stretching and then a sharp pain ran up his backside, when his Master pushed into him, widening his still underprepared muscles. He let out a small whimper but got himself under control quickly, the sleepiness dissipating.

He held still, until his Master had finished, his hip bones jamming into the wooden backside of the sofa. Then he pulled out, and Remus straightened up. His Master handed him his wand so that he could do his morning routine under his Master’s gaze. Remus decided that this had been a very nice way to be woken up.

Remus was led in his Master’s potions lab, instead of the kitchen—he had really hoped for breakfast. He was ordered to lie on the table that now stood in the middle of the room. Whatever had been on it, was now piled on the potion bench. Remus thought he knew what was coming.

“Orgasm control, Master?” he asked.

“Yes,” Severus said, giving him an inquiring look, that was as much a question as a means to assess Remus’ feelings on the matter.

Remus nodded slowly to answer the unspoken question. He opened his mouth slightly, to say something, but he didn’t quite know how to phrase what he was feeling. The memory of the mask incident had pushed its way to the forefront of his mind as soon as he had seen the table.

“We will start slowly,” his Master said.

Remus nodded and looked at the table for a moment, his heart clenched, but there wouldn’t be a mask today. He sat on the table, swung his legs up and laid down, spreading his legs enough so his Master had easy access. He looked up at the wooden ceiling. It had a rich brown colour.

“Remind me, pet,” his Master said. “Why are we doing this exercise?”

“So, I can serve you better,” Remus said. “So, you can use me for your pleasure, and I won’t ruin it, Master.”

“Indeed,” Severus said. “What is your main focus in this exercise?”

“To control my urges… to not react, Master.”

“Very good.”

His Master stepped between Remus’ legs and lightly traced his fingers over Remus’ caged length.

Remus wasn’t quite ready and flinched, but then he forced himself to relax. He took a deep breath, and let it out audibly, just because he could. Then he nodded to Severus, who had watched him closely.

“In… out… in…,” his Master directed him.

The next time he reacted, his Master carefully examined his face and then caned the inside of his legs.

“Thank you, Master, for punishing me,” Remus said. “I need harsh punishments…” he added to reassure Severus. The punishment hadn’t been half as harsh as it should have been and Remus was getting in the mood of it now, the mask quickly leaving his mind.

“I see,” his Master said and got back to work, stroking, circling, massaging, teasing.

Remus managed to keep motionless for a longer time than he thought he had ever managed until he got so stimulated, his body squirmed of its own accord.

“Not too bad,” his Master commented. Remus took a few breaths, to shake the tension.

The next few rounds didn’t go as well, and at the end of the session, the insides of his legs were burning red, hot, and raw. And Remus felt strangely alive. There hadn’t been a proper caning in a while. He hadn’t been in the mood before Christmas. But today, it was exactly what he wanted.

“If you can smile like this after the training session we just had, my methods are too lenient,” his Master said, but his voice was soft, and his eyes had lit up.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, propping himself up on his elbows and examining the damage. “This seems to be sufficient to remind me for a few days, though.”

“I sure hope it does, Wolf,” Severus said. “Stand.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and quickly got up.

“I think you have had enough time to get used to the chastity I require by now,” Severus said.

And then the light pressure he felt from the cage was gone. Remus looked down, not caring if he moved without permission, dreading what he would see. He had grown rather fond of the cage.

“Wolf!”

“I’m sorry, Master,” Remus said. “I’m sorry, I…”

“You let your desires come before your service to me,” his Master said. “Again.”

“Yes, Master.”

His Master made a circling motion. Remus turned and bent down on the table. His backside was still sore from the beating the day before, so the hits stung extra hard. And his Master didn’t hold back.

Which was good. He wanted to be beaten until nothing of him was left, until he was only pet.

He considered that thought for a moment, examining it from different angles, wondering where it had come from. But he couldn’t deny that there was truth to it. At least at times.

“Wolf?”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and quickly pushed the thought aside. He had forgotten to count.

“What is the matter?”

“Nothing, Master, just… a thought.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Nothing… er—important.”

“I suggest you leave thoughts that distract you to your own time.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Start at the beginning.”

“Yes, Master.”

And then his Master started another round of caning. Beating out the parts that weren’t pet. He liked the idea. With each hit, he told himself, ‘You are only here to serve,’ ‘You are nothing, but a thing to be used.’

Even through all the pain, he was half hard, when Severus was finished.

Severus saw it when Remus turned around. “Oh my, you are in quite a mood today, aren’t you?” he said.

“Yes, Master,” Remus agreed.

“Gladly, we have the time to intensify your training over the next few days. You need to learn your place. You are mine. You will only do what I tell you to do. If you step out of line, you will feel harsh consequences.”

“Yes, Master. Thank you, Master.”

“Repeat after me: ‘My pleasure is my Master’s. I only exist to serve him.”

“My pleasure is my Master’s. I only exist to serve him,” Remus said.

“What will you do if you feel pleasure?”

“I will—I’ll do my best to suppress it.”

“You will suppress it.”

“Yes, Master, I will suppress it,” Remus echoed. “Because my pleasure is yours. I only exist to serve you.”

“Good,” his Master said and lightly brushed over Remus’ cheek.

“Thank you for teaching me, Master.”

“Get this sorted and then make breakfast,” his Master said and left the room.

Remus tentatively felt his inner thigh which still somehow burned more than his backside. He put his hands against each side and closed his legs, soothing the affected areas. He closed his eyes and waited until he felt like moving again. Remus shifted slightly, and that brought his attention back to the lack of the cage, and how sensitive he was, now that it was gone. The cage had not only kept him from coming but had also kept stimulus away.

He brushed against his length and hissed at the jolt of pure pleasure that erupted. It took Remus a while to calm himself enough to attempt to dress after that. He put on the trousers his Master had given him and mumbled a curse when they brushed lightly around his midsections and rubbed against his thighs and backside. He pulled them down a bit, so the fabric was less annoying. The trousers hung weirdly between his legs, but he didn’t care too much as long as his Master was in the living room and wouldn’t see.

He was just about to set the table when his Master came in.

“I would like you to pay more attention to your attire,” he scolded.

“Yes, Master.”

Remus pulled the trousers up and a shiver ran through him when the fabric brushed across his sensitive thighs and midsection.

“Are you in pain?”

“Nothing I cannot handle, Master,” he said. “It’s the… the cage, Master. It’s gone...”

“I see. You will get used to it.”

“Yes, Master.”

“You want to look nice for your Master, don't you?”

“Yes, Master.” He did. He wanted to please his Master, it wasn’t just a show, he put on.

“Then your comfort shouldn’t be more important than that, should it?”

“No, Master.”

“Hands.”

After a few rather harsh hits on his open palms, his Master spoke again:

“I have something else for you to wear, in the kitchen and laboratory only, and only when you are preparing food or potions,” he said and summoned an apron. It was of similar fabric to the trousers but contrasted them with a deep maroon, rather than black. “Stand still,” Severus said and put the apron over Remus' head, turned him around, and fastened the strips on his back into a bow.

“Turn around.” He looked Remus up and down. “This will do,” his Master decided and sat down at the kitchen table to read the Daily Prophet, but put it to the side quickly, apparently disgusted at whatever had happened in the world. Remus glanced at it. There was a photograph of Fudge giving a speech. Not Black, then. He was still free. Could still hurt people. His heart was beating fast in his chest. He should go to Dumbledore after the holiday. He would. He would go and tell him.

After his Master had eaten, Remus finally got his breakfast. He had been hungry since he had woken up, now he was ravenous. To his disappointment, the portion was the same as always. He had never quite appreciated how small they were. At Hogwarts, he had never stayed long enough for it to become a problem, or notice for that matter.

Severus had complete control over his meals and Remus didn’t want that to change. He hadn’t agreed to food deprivation outside of punishments, and Severus had never done anything he hadn’t explicitly consented to before. So he wasn’t sure Severus knew—the portions were probably sufficient for anybody with a none-werewolf metabolism.

Did he like to be hungry for his Master? Was that another comfort he would let his Master take from him? Did he want that?

He let himself feel the insistent ache for something… hearty. What he wouldn’t give for a potato gratin right now, with lots of cheese on top and cream in between the layers, a slight note of nutmeg…

No, it was not something he wanted very much.

But could he ask for another thing, after he had asked for something the day before? Maybe he could just inform his Master without explicitly asking? He decided to give it some thought and maybe write it in his diary later… or tomorrow? So there was at least a little more time between his requests?

He started on some of the corners and nooks his Master’s cleaning charms hadn’t reached.

When he joined him in the potion’s lab later, his Master was lining up a few bottles and containers with ingredients, turning them, so the labels were all lined up.

“Come here,” his Master ordered.

He gestured at a large bottle next to the ingredients. “This is for bone health. You will take one mouth full every morning. It will probably not help with your hip, but your bones are damaged from the transformations. This will strengthen and repair them. As for your hip, you will consult the Nurse.”

“Don’t you think Poppy is busy enough with the students, Master?” Remus asked hesitantly.

“She is officially responsible for the teachers as well. And I am sure she will make time. She likes you.”

“How do you know, Master?” Remus asked, feeling himself becoming defensive and didn’t quite know why.

“We talked about Werewolves in general when it became clear you would join the staff. I read between the lines.”

“Okay,” Remus said, not sure what to make of it.

“She told me that it is recommended for Werewolves to take this potion, by the way.” He gestured at the bone-strengthening potion. “And would have probably prescribed it to you, if you had checked in with her.”

He had visited Poppy, but just to talk, not for a physical checkup. She had told him to come back for one, but he never had.

“You should let her examine your bones as well while you are at it,” his Master continued. “I am not a healer; all I did was apply some knowledge I read up on,” He took the bottle, filled some of it in a small glass and held it out for Remus. “This will do nothing, if there is no need for the potion, so at worst, it's a waste of ingredients. For now, you should drink it daily, and if your bones have recovered after the full moon only. When that is, should be determined by a medical professional,” he added pointedly.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, feeling like it wasn’t worth all the trouble Severus had gone through or to bother Poppy about it. Nonetheless, Remus took the potion and drank it.

“Now, there are potions to prepare for the school’s stock. You will assist me.”

“Yes, Master.”

“You will start with calming draughts. The recipe can be found in this book; I marked the page,” he gestured to the other side of the desk. “Familiarize yourself with it.”

“Yes, Master.”

It was one of Severus’ notebooks, and the recipe had been reworked multiple times. Passages with instructions, ingredients and amounts had been crossed out, corrected or added. Remus wondered why he hadn’t cleaned the page up. It would just take a few seconds. But Severus never bothered with such details, except when it came to the brewing itself. Then he was most particular about clean equipment and the exact right degree of humidity in a powder. And their play. He was meticulous about that, too.

Remus read through the recipe and checked the bottles and containers on the desk—everything he would need to brew the draught.

“What is the first step?”

“Cooking the lavender petals and reducing them to their essence, Master,” Remus said.

“Do you think you can manage without assistance?”

“Yes, Master.”

“You may use this cauldron over there.” His Master gestured to the opposite side of the workbench where he was brewing something that smelled of mouldy mushrooms.

Remus took the book and all the ingredients with him to the workbench and carefully took apart the dried lavender flowers as instructed. The petals went into a mortar he had found in the receding cupboards and the pistils in a small dish to be used another time. Then he mixed the resulting powder with snake oil in a small cauldron and let it come to a simmer, carefully monitoring the temperature as to not let the mixture burn.

His Master checked on him a few times, but since he wasn’t complaining Remus seemed to at least not make any major mistakes. Really, it was oddly hypnotizing to watch the bubbles emerge and pop as the mixture thickened. Soon the room was filled with the scent of lavender, which thankfully was far stronger than the one that came from the other side of the room.

“The lavender essence is done, Master,” Remus said when it had reached the right temperature and texture.

His Master nodded and kept stirring his potion for a few more seconds, counting under his breath, before he came over.

“Well done. Now, what is the next step?”

Remus recited what he had read in the recipe.

“Be careful to cook the crocodile heart well before adding anything else. How can you tell when it is ready?”

“The water will turn a slight orange colour, Master.” That information had been squished between the lines notes, hardly readable, but more informative than the ‘until ready’ that had been crossed out.

“And when can you add the Lavender?”

“When I stirred it according to those instructions,” Remus said, pointing towards the notebook, “and the potion has thickened up.”

His Master quizzed him a bit further. Remus could repeat the instructions as written, but he didn’t understand why, so he asked some tentative questions and found that his Masterwas all too happy to explain why each ingredient was important, and how the right stirring let the heart react with the roots in exactly the right way to change and enhance the lavender’s properties.

When he was satisfied that Remus understood why he was doing what the instructions told him to do his Master returned to his own potion, which was smelling worse with every ingredient his Master added. Now that the lavender essence wasn’t cooking any more, it was not able to fight the stench.

They worked in companionable silence and after a while, the odour from the other side of the room became more tolerable, though Remus wasn’t quite sure if he was just getting used to it.

When the crocodile heart was simmering away, Remus started to relax a little, feeling he couldn’t make many mistakes with this step. He flicked through the book, which was filled with Severus’ handwriting in various levels of neatness. Some pages had half-finished notes and recipes, that had been crossed out, or lists and reminders. Then, there were pages and pages of meticulous reports of experiments with only slightly varying amounts of ingredients and their results and, of course, recipes punctuated the chaos of the other pages. Remus wondered how Severus found anything in this. But he could still appreciate the immense time and effort that Severus must have spent filling it. And then considering, that this was just one of many notebooks, Remus had seen.

When the water turned orange, Remus refocused on the potion. The mixture soon thickened as foretold in the instructions. He added the lavender essence and stirred until the potion became a slight violet colour.

“The potion should be darker… The correct stirring is very important for this potion, I assume you didn’t quite keep to the rhythm,” his Master said. Remus looked at him quite blankly. He had done his best, but he didn’t know what counted as ‘not keeping to the rhythm’.

“It should do for minor cases of upset,” his Master concluded.

Remus hadn’t expected a masterwork, but he would have liked to understand what he had done wrong.

“Show me how you stirred,” his Master said when Remus asked.

Dear Diary,

Today was an interesting day, to say the least. My Master has made good on his promise to be harsher on my training.

I am not to feel pleasure. That is what he is drilling into me by repetition and pain. I have kept reminding myself of it during the day repeatedly. My pleasure is my master’s. If he tells me to not enjoy it, I will do my best. No, I must do it. And I will.

Still, it seems to get harder, the longer I am in his service. The first month was astonishingly easy. It was not free from frustration, but I never longed so much for it, as I did over the last month. Maybe it is the training that has shifted and my Master’s usage of me. The first month my Master hardly touched me.

It helps to repeat the phrase in my head. I am not to feel pleasure. My pleasure is my Master’s. I only exist to serve him. I hope I can make him proud soon, and that he can use me any way he wants, without making concessions to my inadequacy.

For that to happen, he also removed the cage I had become quite fond of. But he is probably right in that I need to learn how to be good without it.

My Master let me help him in his potion laboratory today. I learned a lot and hope I can be of service to him in this way again in the future. It seems to be a worthy task for a pet to do all the things that the Master’s time is too precious to do himself, like preparing the ingredients that are time-consuming or unpleasant to do. But I also liked to make the potion, though not perfect, it was a good feeling to take work from my Master—and that he trusted me to make it in the first place, even an easy one.

I loved the time he let me spend in the woods after lunch, collecting ice lice. The air was clear and cold—a welcome change from the hours spent in the potions lab and kitchen. I found a clearing with a huge oak in the middle and a small stream nearby. It would be a wonderful place to spend a summer afternoon.

My Master has implied that he will use the ring on me later, which I am quite excited about and I hope he starts the day tomorrow in the same way he did today.

I hope tomorrow will be equally enjoyable as today.

Yours,

a pet wolf

He had truly fun writing in his diary that evening. He read over the second paragraph again and smiled.

Remus closed the notebook and put it on the coffee table in reach of his Master before getting up and staring at the bookshelves, trying to figure out what he wanted to read. Before he could decide, his Master made him go up to his bedroom and used the ring on him quite extensively.

After that, he was wrapped in a blanket and the tips of his Master's fingers found Remus’ scalp and massaged it, before wandering down to a spot behind Remus’ ear, and gently rubbing the spot.

Chapter Text

“No!” gasped Remus, but it was too late.

His muscles contracted on their own accord and pushed out white liquid that splattered on his hand and the sofa below him. For a split second, relief and bliss washed over him, to be replaced by dread just as quickly.

The day had started much like the last. His Master had woken him up and pushed him over the sofa. This time, however, his penis had been caught between the cushions and his belly, and before he had time to realise or rectify, his Master had started to thrust into his backside. It hadn’t helped that he had still been half asleep, either, too sleepy to remember that his safeguard was gone and too tired to collect his thoughts enough to prevent himself from failing his Master.

“I’m sorry,” Remus stuttered, and struggled to get up… to do what? Clean up? Throw himself into the proverbial dust to his Master’s feed?

Whatever his plan would have been, his Master gripped his hair and pulled his head back, thus preventing him from doing either.

“Stop it,” his Master hissed close to his ear. And then he continued his work, now slower, taking his time, while Remus desperately tried not to smear the cum everywhere. He could feel it drip from his hand.

“I’m so sorry,” Remus mumbled, but his Master just pulled his head back even further to a point where it became painful and continued. Remus let it happen while trying to stay calm and not think about what had just happened and the punishment that would follow.

Finally, his Master let go of him, and Remus collapsed over the back of the sofa and, after all, did smear more cum on the fabric.

“Not even 24 hours,” his Master stated, with the exact right amount of disapproval, which made Remus feel even worse. He cleaned Remus with his usual too zealous cleaning charms that left his skin red and itchy, before doing the same to himself and the sofa, presumably with gentler spells.

Remus fell to his knees. “I am so sorry, Master, the sofa–” But he stopped. It wasn’t his place to spit out excuses. He had done something that was explicitly forbidden; he had lost control, and now he had to deal with the consequences. He even found himself wanting to be punished for it.

“Get down in the cellar, kneel there and wait for me.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said and hurried to follow the command.

The walls were high and narrow, and his knees sat on the cold, hard floor, when his Master came in a few minutes later. He stepped closer so his feet just barely didn’t touch Remus' knees, towering over him.

“Tell me, Wolf, what did I tell you yesterday regarding your pleasure?”

“I am not to indulge in it, Master.”

“Why is it so hard?”

“It is… I wasn’t expecting it,” Remus stuttered. “It just sort of… happened, Master. I will do better next time, I promise.”

“You sound like a teenager who has just figured out what to do with… certain body parts.”

“Yes, Master, I am sorry, and... and deeply ashamed of my lack of control.” If he could, he would bow down, but his Master was standing too close for that, and he had been told to kneel, not bow, anyways. Still. It felt appropriate to bow.

“Lay on your back,” Severus ordered, gesturing to the cage in the corner, the one he usually transformed in. “Legs bend and apart.”

Remus did as he was told. He had a good idea what was coming.

His Master summoned the cane and pressed it between Remus’ legs. Remus saw the cane lifting, and then pain radiated through his body. He gasped from the pain. His legs shut close.

“Into position,” his Master hissed.

Remus breathed out as steadily as he could, and then he pushed his legs apart with an effort. He grabbed his knees, hoping it would help him keep them in place, when the next hit came.

It was his just punishment. He would take it with as much grace as he could.

Though—by Merlin's greyest beard hair. He had thought he could deal with pain, but this was on a whole other level than what his Master usually did to him. He somehow managed to stay in position when the next hit struck and the next hit. And the next. And the one after that.

After the fifth hit, his Master gave him a pause and let Remus catch his breath.

He had the feeling his midsection wouldn’t be able to get any smaller by this point. His jaw was clenched shut, and it felt like he wouldn’t get it open ever again. Remus controlled his breathing in an attempt not to whimper—the pain was sharp and only subsided slowly.

Then came the next round, by the end of which, Remus curled up as soon as his Master allowed him to move. He handed Remus his wand and said, “One spell,” completely unempathetic to Remus’ pain.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said, forcing his body to straighten up. He took the wand with a shaking hand and quickly decided on an emptying spell on his bladder, while his Master stood impatiently over him.

“Stand.” When Remus did, his Master shrank the cage.

“In,” his Master commanded, taking the wand back that Remus offered him.

The cage was now roughly half the size of his cage in the living room. He wouldn’t be able to sit upright or stretch his legs, but he had some room for movement. He kneeled and bent forward with his torso to fit into the confined space, and his Master closed the door.

On his way out, his Master paused for a moment and summoned a glass of water, before closing the door behind him, leaving Remus in the pitch black of the basement.

Remus listened to the footsteps ascending the stars and then breathed out slowly, closing his eyes. He allowed himself a small whimper and waited for the pain to die down somewhat before he tried to figure out how he would spend what he suspected would be a considerable amount of time in this cage somewhat comfortably.

How could he have been so stupidly careless?

He had been utterly unprepared, his mind still elsewhere, not bothering with the feeling that had erupted, because he had forgotten his safeguard had gone. And… maybe he really had wanted to–at some level, anyway. Which frustrated him, because he really liked the image of himself not wanting anything other than to please his Master. But no. He wanted more food, access to his wand, pleasure, pets…

Food. He hadn’t had breakfast, and now that he remembered, and the adrenaline had died down, his stomach growled pitifully at him. He hated hunger. It reminded him of cold nights on the mouldy mattress he had found himself repeatedly over the years.

To distract himself from the hunger and general misery, he started thinking about his lesson plans. Yes, that would do. He tried to come up with fun ideas and detailed plans he had already settled on. And how the hell was he going to teach Harry the Patronus?

That worked for a while, though rather inefficiently, without his notes and books. And he couldn’t think of a solution to the Dementor problem. Soon, he found his mind drifting rather more than it would otherwise. It felt like his mind was caged in as well as his body.

There was still a dull throb where his Master had caned him, and when he moved or touched himself, sharp pain erupted. Has he ever had a bruise there? Oh, yes, once from flying. He remembered James and Sirius howling with laughter. But Remus shot the memory down. He didn’t want to think about them.

And yet, the thoughts were hard to shoo away, and soon his thoughts went into familiar paths, for lack of anything else to think about. He thought about what his friends would do with their lives if they hadn’t died. They could have raised Harry, contrary to him. They would have had a house, a stable job, and some sort of career. Friends. Remus just couldn’t understand why they had to die instead of him. It didn’t make sense. They would have used their lives so much better and would have had so many more opportunities.

He groaned at the pointless thoughts he had ruminated about for over a decade by now and rubbed his face. Then he wondered if his dead friends could see him, from wherever souls went after death. He cringed with embarrassment at what they would think of him now and then huffed and tried to find another position to exist in.

Searching for a new topic to think about, he thought of the book he had read last, a biography about a Minister of Magic about 150 years ago and the resulting discussion with his Master about banning books with deadly curses on them. His Master had quickly turned it into a monologue about touch poisons—apparently the more effective way of going about killing someone with a book.

Being asked a few weeks ago, Remus would have said to have very little interest in poisons and what they did to the body. But Severus could probably make anything sound interesting that he was personally interested in. He had explained some potions: One would irreversibly dissolve all skin tissue (for people you wanted to suffer), another potion could just stop your brain from working, when you touched the wrong spot (no suffering involved). According to Severus, both were not easy to make, but Remus had gotten a whole new appreciation for never having been poisoned. It seemed very easy to say, put Essence of Silverroot simmered with ground dragon egg shell on a surface that contained cellulose. This would result in a rather gruesome death that started with shortness of breath and ended with suffocation a few weeks later. Luckily, the dragon egg shell that was needed was of a rare breed.

He decided that that also wasn’t the best topic to occupy his mind with. Trying to think of nothing didn’t work for him and never had. His thoughts seemed to gravitate to the things, he wanted to think the least about: His life as a whole, what he would do after Hogwarts, his rather strained relationship with his father, that he didn’t know how to fix, whyever Severus was bothering with him, memories of the war, Black, Harry, who didn’t seem to he the happy carefree boy, Dumbledore had described him as during the years, new laws, that were being discussed that would affect his life even more. And so many other things.

He had been lying on his side for a while, but his arm started to get numb. He rolled over to lay on his back, his knees drawn close at first, then he pressed them up against the cage bars. There was no hope he would bend or even break them. But it felt nice to use his muscles. Then he had a cramp and quickly retracted his legs, massaging his calf with an annoyed sigh.

He was pretty sure he had never stayed this long in a cage, at least awake. There were muffled sounds from the outside. Sometimes he thought he could hear his Master’s steps. But he had no idea if he had been in the cage for minutes or hours. It felt like the latter, but he feared it was the former.

At this point, he was just bored, annoyed that his body’s needs to stretch weren’t met and that he was just wasting his time in the cage. Being hungry didn’t help, nor did the thoughts he didn’t want to have.

He considered drinking some of the water, just to have something in his stomach, but he didn’t know how long he would be in this cage, and he didn’t want to risk needing to go to the loo. After a while, he did allow himself a sip, to have something to do, as much as soothing his stomach. The latter didn't really work, but he had at least spent two minutes trying to not spill any water while drinking in the confined space by complete darkness.

A whole day would probably be gone when he was allowed out, or at least a big portion of it. Would his Master let him stay down here through the night? He very much hoped not, or he would surely go crazy.

He rolled over to his side again and stared at the darkness from that angle for a while. He could make out the faint rectangle of the door. But not much more. He rolled over and stared at the complete darkness of the other wall for a while, and then rolled back on his back.

What an awful waste of time. He pressed his legs against the bars again and then let go slowly.

That was the whole point, wasn’t it? To punish him by depriving him of what they could have done instead, and making him stay down here. He started reminding himself that he had earned the punishment, each time, his stomach growled at him, or a muscle started to protest. He made himself feel all the discomfort as acutely as he could. That was the price for disappointing his Master. This way, he would learn to be more careful next time. That thought helped. And surely, his Master would come back any minute now. For all he knew, it could be evening already. It surely felt like it.

He started counting, just to have something to do, but he lost interest at just over 150. He tried lesson plans again, but he was out of ideas without his notes. Recounting facts and finding words that began with a and then b also didn’t help for long. His mind was foggy and jumpy.

Instead, he shifted his position again, but he ran out of ideas on those, too. He had tried crossing his legs and bending forwards, curling up on one side, then the other one, he had pressed himself against one corner of the cage and tried to stretch his legs as much as possible. But his body still wanted to stretch more, to alleviate the ever-mounting discomfort of being confined in such a small space. And some part of him just wanted to curl up in his bed with a nice cup of tea, his Master by his side, saying nice things to him.

Or his Master would do other things with him… Remus imagined them sitting in the living room, near the fireplace and just… be. Like they had done before. His Master would pet him, run his hand over his body, perhaps his Master would put chains on him, which happened far too infrequently. Remus liked being hardly able to move, just for shorter periods of time than right now and preferably with some more distractions. Like his Master pushing into his backside forcefully. It would hurt. But he would not move and not whine, because he was a good little pet, a tool to be used, to be trained to obey. He would take all the pain his Master subjected him to, and then he would thank him for it. And his Master would tell him what a good pet he had been.

He held the image for as long as he could, but it slipped away far too quickly. He was getting annoyed again and couldn’t find a position that was comfortable.

Should he call for his Master, ask to be let out and promise he had learned his lesson? Remus knew he could always end this, but it felt like cheating.

He refocused on the thoughts that kept him sane: It was for his Master. It was his rightful punishment. If it were fun, it wouldn’t be a punishment.

The mantra died down and left his thoughts swirling in his head lazily. And then it hit him.

A Boggart!

Harry’s Boggart was a Dementor. If that was true, that was what he could use to teach him!

He rubbed his elbow that he had yanked into the bars of the cage in his excitement and thought the idea through. It was the best he had come up with so far. He couldn’t see any major drawbacks.

The excitement lasted for a few more minutes, until the boredom took over again, and he started his mantra up again: For your Master. You only exist to serve him. If he chooses to let you rot in here, there is nothing you can do.

He imagines his Master instead caning him as a punishment, and what a caning it would be. His Master would slowly and carefully work himself through all the cannibal areas on Remus' body. Hit after hit in neat parallel lines. His master would give curt commands whenever he needed Remus to move. And when he was all done, he would start again, and leave Remus curled up on the floor, not knowing which body part to nurse first. He could probably deal with that much better than this, Remus thought darkly, trying to find a poison he hadn't yet tried.

After the caning, when Remus had managed to get up the stairs from the basement, his Master would smile at him, petting him, like he usually did after he used the ring. It took a lot of effort to hold those thoughts and really feel them. His Master, being gentle to him, seemed just very far away right now.

He slipped in and out of dreams that were all in all rather pleasant, only interrupted every so often by his body emphasising one or multiple of its various needs that weren’t met at the moment.

He must have been half asleep when he was startled at the door opening. Light far to bright for his eyes fell into the room. Remus quickly sat up as much as he could and nearly hit his head.

His Master opened the door and commanded him to kneel, pointing to the spot just outside the cage. Remus complied as fast as his stiff body allowed him to, glad to have some human interactions again.

“Why did you get punished?”

“Because I came when I was not allowed to, Master. I failed to follow your orders.”

“How will you prevent such a thing in the future?” his Master asked.

“I will—“ Remus said, “I will remind myself of my place, Master. Of the fact that my pleasure belongs to you, and only you. You can freely decide when I may enjoy it. I am only here to serve you and will put your wishes and desires before my own. I will not be indulging in my own wishes and desires at all if I am not explicitly allowed to.”

“That will do for now. Next time, I will be less lenient.”

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. He really wanted to look up and see his Master’s face, when there was a silence for a few moments. But he also didn’t want to risk it. So, he kept staring at his Master’s legs.

“Your punishment is over,” his Master finally said.

Remus sighed with relief. “Thank you, Master, for correcting my behaviour.”

There was a tingling running through his body, and then the slight itch of a healing charm, where the cane had hit hours ago, and the ache that still lingered there was gone.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said, and gently got to his feet when his Master allowed him to move. It had nearly been worth all that time in the cage to feel his legs stretch for the first time in hours. But only nearly. He stretched his whole body thoroughly, his hands towards the ceiling and standing on tiptoes, before he turned to either side while his feet stayed facing forwards. He bent forward and tried to reach his feet with his hands for good measure. An exercise he had never mastered, but felt wonderful nonetheless.

His Master had been waiting patiently and led Remus up the stairs, while Remus’s belly reminded him with some persistence of the lack of food.

He trailed behind his Master up the stairs, into the living room, and tried to figure out if and how he would tell his Master. He had had hours to himself. One should think he would have come up with a solution to that question in the time he had literally nothing else to do than think.

“What is it?” his Master asked, perceptive as always. One of the images Remus had fantasised about, where they just sat together, and his Master's hand kept running through his hair, pushed itself on him. And Remus wasn’t sure if he really wanted to tell his Master any more. Asking for more food was probably not that bad, Remus decided, but he would have to explain why he had waited to tell him.

“Uhm,” Remus said, his eyes flickering to his diary. Should he ask to write in it? But the mental image of his Master looking over his shoulder while he wrote made him abandon that idea. And was he really so pathetic as to not be able to ask for food? Should he bow?

He dropped to his knees and bowed, and then spoke very fast:

“I am sorry, Master, to trouble you with this. I really wouldn’t if I were sure it was what you wished for, but I am uhm… very, uhm—hungry, Master. Not just from today but the last few days—the portion of nourishment potion you have been giving me is just not… well, you know, the lycanthropy… I will pay, of course!”

He breathed out and waited for what was coming. After a moment of silence, Remus glanced up. He had gotten better at reading Severus, but it was still hard sometimes.

“And why, pray tell, didn’t you inform me of this?” he finally asked, rather a tad too quietly for Remus’ liking.

“I am doing so now, Master,” Remus said.

To Remus’ relief, his Master didn’t dwell on that question, as he told him to follow him and swept to the potions lab. He took one of the bottles of potions out of one of the cupboards under the workbench. There were probably more than Remus could ever be able to drink in his time here.

“This potion,” his Master said, lifting the vial to indicate, ”can cause nausea if taken in bigger portions, so we will start with one tablespoon more than usual. How hungry are you?”

“Uhm, very hungry, but we can try the potion and if it's not enough…?” Remus asked.

“The next dosage can be administered in two hours. Will that suffice?"

Remus nodded. “Yes, Master.”

His Master nodded. “If you don’t have any side effects, we can increase the dosage by another tablespoon.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said.

“Why didn't you tell me before that the potions didn’t satisfy you?” his Master asked, after he had fed the potion to Remus. He didn’t like the potion any more than usual, but he did like the soft touches of his Master, while he lifted Remus’ head and carefully tipped the potion into his mouth. Maybe there was something there that he could enjoy more than just entertaining Severus.

“It didn’t really matter before. I would just eat well before and after, Master.”

“You should have realised that wouldn’t work here,” his Master prompted.

“Yes… to be honest, I didn’t really think about that before we came here. And then I had asked you for the wand, and you gave me the bone potion and all that, and it seemed… you know. I can still pay for the potions. Master,” he added.

“No need,” his Master said in a tone that made it clear he’d rather. Remus dropped the topic.

Not wanting to have an argument, Remus just nodded.

“Well, if you change your mind…”

“The bone health potion was paid from my funds for the infirmary.”

“Hm,” Remus said. “I guess that is in the contract…” Though he wondered if usage of the infirmary was meant for people with chronic curses, too. “Wait, are you allowed to, if it’s not prescribed by Poppy?”

Severus just raised an eyebrow, and Remus remembered that Poppy had suggested that potion. Remus hesitated and then dropped the subject.

“Is there another topic you’d like to address? One, that you have been queuing up for what you think would be an appropriate time?”

“No, Master.”

Severus scrutinised him for a moment before nodding.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said.

“I’m sorry, Master,” his Master said mildly. But it made it clear that the discussion was over, and whatever in-between in and out of play thing they had just been doing had ended.

“Well done,” his Master said the next morning, after he had managed the whole training session with only a few minor slip-ups. Remus had forcefully pushed all his desires into a corner of his mind and had kept it shut with all his might. Now he felt his Master’s hand on his cheek, but he didn’t even let himself think how nice it would be to lean into it. That thought, too, got pushed out of his mind. Instead, he concentrated on the same spot he had stared at for the last… however long it had been. It was probably burned into his retina by now.

“Did the punishment work?”

“I would rather not repeat that punishment, Master.”

With his Master’s permission, he sat up and shook his legs, which were stiff from the effort to keep them open.

After that, there was more potion brewing. This time for acne outbreaks.

The early afternoon he spent in the forest, happy to escape the house for a while. There weren’t any traces of Fiexte, but he hadn’t expected to find them so soon.

When he came back, Severus was deep in some brewing that looked like it should better not be disturbed, so Remus finally had time to work on his lesson preparations. He had written down his ideas and plans from his time in the cage yesterday. Now that he had books and notes, the process was much easier. He had started in the living room, sitting on the floor, but moved to the kitchen where he could sit on a chair. His behind hurt either way, but his back was grateful.

When he felt he had made some headway, he got up to clean and organise the pantry. He had very carefully not looked too closely at the corners of the pantry up until now.

It wasn’t even that the pantry was dirty per se, or the house for that matter. It was just that Severus’ cleaning spells seemed to slip over small nooks and corners. It wasn’t uncommon, and he would probably not have objected on a regular visit. But here he was, in charge of cleaning the kitchen.

He had just finished putting everything from the pantry on the table and had started cleaning while imagining in great detail how his Master would make him bow, while looking in every corner, to check if Remus had done a good job cleaning, when his Master came in.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning, Master,” Remus said. He was already sitting on the ground, so he figured he could just stay there, putting the cloth in the bowl of water and dish soap he used. There weren't any other cleaning supplies.

“Did I tell you to do that?”

Remus paused. “You told me to keep the kitchen clean…”

“I meant that I want you to clean up after yourself, not… make it cleaner than it was.”

“You were busy and I didn’t have anything else…,” Remus said. And then realised what he was doing, making decisions and defending them to his Master. He bowed down, putting his forehead on the yellowing PVC flooring of the kitchen. “I’m sorry, Master, I should have made sure this is what you meant...”

There was a pause while his Master stepped next to him and then over him into the pantry, and then, a minute later, outside again.

“It should be clean now,” his Master said.

“I am sorry, Master, I did not mean to criticise your housekeeping,” Remus said, his forehead still firmly pressed on the floor.

“I know you meant well. This is why I won’t punish you,” his Master said.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said.

Remus put everything back in the same non-order they had been before and started on dinner, when Severus had left the kitchen again. He wondered if it really annoyed Severus or if it was just some power play as his Master. He had looked rather annoyed when he had found Remus on the kitchen floor. But then, Remus had stared at the floor most of the time, and his Master’s voice hadn’t given away much.

The next morning, only one night between himself and the full moon, his Master held up a vial after breakfast. “This will mitigate the side effects you are feeling.”

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said. “It doesn’t interfere with the Wolfsbane Potion?”

“No.” Was there a bit of pride swinging in his Master’s voice?

“Are you certain? I mean—” Remus tried to correct himself, but his Master didn’t seem to mind.

“As certain as I can be.”

“How certain is that, Master?”

“Very certain.”

“Will you put me in the cage… to be sure, Master?” Remus asked tentatively.

“If it makes you feel better,” his Master said.

“It would, Master,” Remus said. In fact, he would insist on it. He would have, even without the potion.

“I will put you in the cage, then.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“Now then,” Severus said and gently tapped Remus’ chin. Obediently, Temus tilted his head back to receive the potion.

“The potion only suppresses the symptoms. As I am not sure how activity before the full moon affects your body…”

“I have worked before full moons, Master. It doesn’t make it worse…”

“I’m sure,” his Master said in a voice that conveyed he was very much sure of the opposite.

The potion's effects were nearly instant. The mild headache he had since the day before and the ache in his muscles had stopped. The potion also numbed the pain from the punishment of the previous days, that had left a purple and black variety of bruises.

Silvester was a quiet affair. They spend the evening reading in companionable silence with a few short-lived discussions before stepping outside into the neglected garden to watch the fireworks.

“Is there usually a lot of fireworks here?” Remus asked, accepting the glass of sparkling wine that Severus had treated to be non-alcoholic.

“I have no idea.”

Remus smiled softly and watched a premature firecracker climb up to the skies and pop, wondering if Severus had bothered with New Year's celebrations if it wasn’t for him. He looked at his watch, waiting another 49 seconds before he started to count down from five, and at two, the fireworks erupted around them.

“Happy New Year, Master,” Remus said, looking up and lifting his glass.

“Happy New Year,” Severus echoed, not as enthusiastically as Remus, but certainly with the hint of a smile and lifted his glass slightly before he drank. They both looked at the sky, where the fireworks had grown in quantity. Many houses were abandoned on the street, but the few residents who remained stood in the streets and wished each other a happy new year. None of them saw the two Wizards in their front garden, because they were warded from their sight.

The next day, his Master let him sleep in and started to formulate orders as suggestions again and the training session was cancelled. Remus was a bit frustrated at how careful Severus was with him again. Even when they worked on potions after breakfast, he made him sit at the desk, while slicing, dicing and powdering ingredients. He wanted some juicy commands with consequences, to keep his mind from the evening. But he knew that discussion would be futile.

After lunch, his Master put a chain on his collar and led him to the potion lab, where he transfigured a blanket into a dog bed that was big enough for Remus to curl up in. The chain was secured on the wall with a spell, so that he couldn’t move beyond the bed, but still had a bit of play. His Master left and came back and gave him a normal blanket and the security blanket Remus had mostly ignored since the first night he had slept in his cage.

“You will rest,” his Master commanded.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said.

Being a good little pet that didn’t discuss the overprotectiveness of his Master, he put the blanket around his shoulders and leaned against the wall. While the potion kept most of the symptoms in check, he was still tired. But he didn’t want to sleep. And even if he had tried, he probably wouldn’t have been able to. The restlessness was another symptom that the potion didn’t help with.

To distract himself, he watched his Master, working on what looked like a potion experiment. He was consulting multiple notebooks and wrote into another. Four cauldrons were lined up on the workbench. His Master periodically vanished the content of one just to restart, crossing out sections in his notebook with jerky streaks of his quill or making notes. Remus didn’t dare make a noise, lest he disturb his Master in this state.

It was strangely appealing. Severus was not someone one would call conventionally attractive. But he was tall, and Remus liked the small twitch of his mouth when something amused him. Remus wondered what lay beneath the black robes he usually wore. It was strange to think that after all this time, he had spent half or completely naked around his Master, he still hadn’t been allowed to see him naked.

What he really liked about Severus was how he carried himself. There was a confidence that made Remus want to follow his commands when he was a pet, and when he was not, he still found it rather attractive. And it did something else he hadn’t felt in years, and looking back, that had probably just been youthful overconfidence: He felt safe transforming in Severus’ presence.

Remus was quite sure that he could handle a werewolf and wouldn’t be squeamish about hurting him to save his own life. Which was rather comforting in a strange sort of way. And of course, there was the miracle of Severus still giving him the time of day, even knowing what he was. He even wanted to touch him…

He was intelligent, too. That was rather sexy. He had no qualms about showing it, and Remus could probably listen to him all evening, rambling on about some obscure potions-related topic. He was good at explaining it in a way that Remus at least understood the gist of whatever he was talking about.

Remus watched as Severus made a sharp but precise movement with his wand. Another thing he liked. There was no fluff and nicely tied bows with Severus. He cut to the chase, and even if it was sometimes uncomfortable, it made everything so much easier.

“Everything alright, pet?” Severus cut through his thought, probably noticing he was being watched intently.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, hoping he didn’t blush. His cheeks were rather hot.

“How do you feel?”

“I am just tired, Master. No headache, no other pain.”

“Are you less or more tired than usual?”

“Uhm, hard to say, Master, but I would say equally? The absence of the headache helps…” His Master nodded, and Remus asked, “How is your research coming along?”

Severus glanced at the table, “I still haven't found the right ratio, but it would work. And I have found some old notes with a similar experiment…” And his Master started to explain how they were similar while setting up the newest test. Remus listened while he watched his Master, hugging his knees, and closing his eyes from time to time.

Later, he listened to the soothing noise of the lazy bubbling, the silence, then the plop and the sound of hot air making their way out of the depth of the cauldron, the knives cutting and feather scratching on parchment. He curled himself up and let the sounds lull him into a half-sleep, knowing that his Master would wake him in time.

When his Master had asked Remus a few days before to write in his diary what he wanted to do during the full moon, Remus had only written a line or two, but they were devoid of any real ideas. He didn’t like thinking about it much in advance.

But he had never been a wolf in a living area, and he had not been prepared for the multitude of smells around him. He sat and sniffed the air.

“Alright?” Severus asked, and Remus nodded, the distinct smell of his Master permeated everything, but there were so many many layers that it was too much for Remus to sort through.

Remus started exploring the living room with his new senses, following smells here and there, and trying to make sense of it all. Then came the hallway, the kitchen and he would have even been allowed in his Master's bedroom, but the stairs posed a bit of a problem. Remus rejected the offer to be levitated up and down with a shake of his head.

Some smells were old and ingrained in the wood over the years. Someone had probably smoked in this house at some point; there was a faint smell of copper on the floor of the living room, which Remus hoped had never been blood. There were smells of different people on the books lining the walls of the living room and hallway. There were layers and layers of smells in the pantry of different foods. On one spot on one of the lower shelves had been something rotting not too long ago.

Then Severus allowed him access to the potion’s lab. The fine aroma of the ingredients had permeated the whole house, but here, it was strong, nearly overwhelming. He stood in the entrance of the room for a while and accustomed his nose to it. He usually liked the smell of the room. It reminded him of the potion storage in Hogwarts. Which reminded him of the time he spent with Severus.

Remus sat down at the door, or more like he nearly fell over. While he had become better at coordinating his limbs, if he didn’t pay attention, he still tended to stumble. He sniffed the air for a few minutes, trying to decipher the cacophony of smells.

“Too much?” his Master asked and stepped into the room.

Remus shook his head and slowly followed him inside.

He went to the workbench and indicated putting a paw on it. After his Master nodded, he put his front paws on the top to stand up against it, to have a closer look (or sniff) at the ingredients above it. He went down and did the same, a meter to the right and again another meter.

His Master collected some of the vials and containers and put them on the floor.

“Do you want to try aconite?”

Remus nodded. It was a repulsively sharp smell that made his nose sting, and he hastily stepped back.

“Thought so,” his Master commented. “Those may be more to your liking.” He lined up some of the ingredients.

And they were. Remus spent some time inhaling their scent, trying to understand his new senses and what they were telling him. One of them made him want to rub his whole body in, which was rather a strange urge. His Master explained each one, but at some point, Remus got a headache from all the odours, and he indicated to Severus that he wanted to leave the room. Severus levitated the dog bed he had transfigured this afternoon to the living room, and Remus rolled up in it. It was well past midnight now.

He listened to his Master’s steps walking up the stairs. And when he listened even closer, he could hear his Master’s breath just barely over the now loud creaking of the house.

He woke before dawn and could hear his Master's footsteps upstairs. He stretched, got up and stumbled. Then he waited for his Master to be dressed and washed, and came down the stairs.

“Good morning, pet,” his Master returned the greeting, that in Remus’ case had been a bow with his head.

It was the depth of winter, so it would still be a few hours until the sun would rise, and he would revert back to his human form, so he followed his Master to the kitchen, watched him make breakfast and settled to his feet.

Much later, Remus stretched in his cage. He felt rather good, nearly energetic. His Master, however, only allowed him to read on the floor in front of the fireplace.

“If I see you not resting, you’ll go back to your cage with a sleeping potion,” his Master promised, before returning to the lab.

So Remus took some cushions from the sofa to prop himself up against and settled on the floor. He was getting too old for reading on the floor without them. His back would hurt if he lay on his belly, and his shoulders, if he was propped up on his side.

Remus read in one of the cookbooks from the kitchen for a bit, but then he put the book to the side. It was only mildly interesting, and he was getting tired again; the energy he had felt when getting up had quickly dissipated. But not too tired to fall asleep–or he mostly refused to fall asleep.

He closed the book and got up. Maybe one of the novels? He had started one, but it had been badly written, so he had abandoned it.

“I do not remember allowing you to move about,” his Master said from the door. He must have heard the squeaking of the floorboards, or something. Sometimes it was frightening to think about what else Severus noticed that he didn’t address.

“Just for another book, Master,” Remus said. “This one is… not keeping me awake.”

“Perhaps that is a cue for you to rest.”

“I am, Master,” Remus said, cursing his choice of words.

“We will not have the same discussion every month. I told you what would happen if you don’t follow my orders,” his Master said with slight impatience in his voice. He gestured to the pile of cushions, unmistakable an order.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said, remembering that he still was his Master's pet but still looking wistfully at the bookshelf. He tried not to sigh in relief to be back in a sitting position, but he was sure his Master noticed.

His Master kneeled next to Remus and made him drink a nourishment potion. Remus had felt a bit squeezy after the second time his Master had increased the quantity, so they had settled on 4 times a day for now. His Master made him drink another potion, which made him tired again, and while he was trying to fight it, he fell asleep within a few minutes.

When Remus woke up a third time that day, it was already dark outside. Remus found himself without the collar. His robes and his wand lay neatly outside the cage. He had thought that there was something like that coming, so he dressed quickly before surfacing from behind the sofa.

His Master was reading on the sofa. A book about the intersection of potions and food.

Severus led him to the kitchen, where dinner waited for them. Remus suspected that Severus had asked the house elves of Hogwarts for it and floo’ed it over. The kitchen looked untouched.

They sat down, and Remus, ravenous from the transformation, dug in, while Severus ate more measuredly and pushed both pieces of cake over for Remus to eat, which he gladly complied with.

At last, Remus leaned back and sighed. “This was good.” Even with more nourishment potion, tasting something different and chewing was a welcome change.

There was a bit of an awkward pause in which Remus thought Severus had something to say, but when he didn’t speak, Remus said, “I meant to ask. Did you do that on purpose? Make me come?”

Severus shook his head. “No. I didn’t even realise there was a problem.” Severus hesitated for a moment, and then he added, “You were quite vague on how you felt about the punishment in your diary.”

“I didn’t know what to write, honestly. It was… interesting.”

“Interesting, in what way?” He was scrutinising Remus now, as if the answer would come to him if he just stared hard enough.

“Well, seeing how I reacted to it,” Remus said slowly, trying to ignore the stare and finding the right words. “I guess, I usually try to avoid being alone with my thoughts for so long… Oh, I finally figured out how to teach the Patronus without letting a Dementor into the castle.”

“Oh?” Severus asked for more specifics, which Remus was all too willing to give.

“Well, you see…,” Remus said. “Harry said his Boggart is a Dementor…”

There was a moment of pause, then Severus said. “Interesting.”

“Yes, I thought so, too…” Remus agreed.

“May I ask what you found most punishing?” Severus asked after a moment.

“The wasted time,” Remus said. “It was one day gone, out of the six. Plus, two around the full moon…”

“How did you feel about the prolonged time in the cage?”

Remus tilted his head and then smiled slightly. “How much did the spells tell you?” It occurred to him that he had no idea how sensitive the spells on the cages were.

“You became very frustrated a few times,” Severus said slowly. “Strangely enough, that subsided towards the end, and you kept falling asleep.”

Remus nodded slowly. “I sort of… tried to think about other things…”

“You didn’t answer my initial question.”

Remus gave a small shrug. “It wasn’t too bad. I really wanted to stretch…”

“And being alone with your thoughts?”

Remus stifled a sigh. “It’s not that bad, honestly.”

“I am asking, because I am trying to ascertain if this punishment was suitable for the crime,” Severus said rather slowly, as if to not show impatience.

“It just seemed…” Remus thought. “Like, it was more of an annoyance, not a… real punishment? But then, pain would probably not motivate me more than the lost time.”

“What would make it feel like a punishment?”

“Pain?”

“You associate punishment with pain,” Severus said. “You find it punishing to waste time, but don’t see it as a punishment, because it wasn’t painful.”

Remus thought and then shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean…” He thought about his fantasy of his Master caning him thoroughly, but he didn’t want to talk about that. And then how much he had wanted his Master’s affection after he had been left out of the cage. But that was just him being needy. “I think the wasted time was annoying, but you said it yourself, I fell asleep after a while. If I couldn’t have done that, it would have probably been much harder. Is there a potion that won't let you fall asleep?”

“Many, most of them illegal. And the caning wasn’t enough?”

“After a while, it stopped hurting when I didn’t move.”

“And the hunger?”

Remus shrugged.

“Very well,” Severus said after some thinking. “More pain or the inability to drift off. Any other ideas?”

“Or a smaller cage, where I can't move, maybe?”

Severus nodded and then said, “How do you propose we continue?” Remus blinked at the change of topic, so Severus elaborated, ”If I remember correctly, you suggested ‘we could see how things went’ after the full moon.”

“Well, depends. Do you want me to stay?”

“Would you like that?”

“You wanting me to?"

“Would you like to stay here for a few more days?”

“If you don’t mind,” Remus said.

“I don’t,” Severus said curtly.

“We could work off whatever the transformation sparked…” Remus suggested after a moment of silence.

“I would ask if you were feeling well enough, but I doubt I will ever hear an honest answer to that,” Severus pointed out, and sounded more resigned than anything.

“I mean, you hurt me for your pleasure. Why is this any different?”

“Because,” Severus said slowly, clearly thinking through his answer carefully, “I cannot judge very well how you are feeling or how whatever I do affects your recovery. I haven't found literature on it that I would trust. Most seems to be…”

“Folklore?” Remus helped, and Severus nodded.

“It is rather frustrating.”

“Then why not believe me?”

“Do you believe it will hinder your recovery?”

“I believe that I would really love feeling you in my backside,” Remus said and felt his cheeks heat. “I did work on days after the full moon,” Remus pointed out.

“You already told me.”

“Rest does help. But I did rest all day, as you made sure, and I don’t think it will have a hugely negative impact, except that I will go to bed quietly and happily afterwards.” He really wanted his Master’s affection today. He wanted to feel him inside of him, and he couldn’t quite place why. It wasn’t pure lust, though; it was close to the full moon, which was certainly part of it. He wanted all that trouble with the transformation to have some meaning. Making his Master happy certainly was a positive.

Perhaps Severus sensed that, perhaps not. But after another moment, his eyes softened and Remus knew he had won, even before Severus said, “Alright, after you have digested all that cake.”

They sat in the kitchen for another half an hour or so. Remus asked about what was going on in the world, and Severus summarised succinctly what he had read in the Prophet over the last few days. While Remus did the dishes, they discussed Fudge's New Year’s speech, which they both found fault with, and then Severus finally asked, “Ready?”

Remus returned his wand. Severus told him to stand in the living room and wait for him. He was to keep his robes on.

His Master didn’t let him wait for long. He gently put his hands on Remus' cheek and then brushed over the upper button of Remus’ robes before slowly and carefully opening the first button. He slowly worked his way down, with a strange, intense care given to each and every button of his robes, while opening it. He lifted the robes from Remus’ shoulders, then the sweater and worked his way down to the trousers. Remus felt like he was unwrapped like a present.

When he was finally completely free of cloth, Severus circled him and mumbled a spell. It took Remus a moment, in the sudden darkness, to realise it was the blinding spell, Severus usually used for the trust exercise. He still had the urge to rub his eyes each time it was applied, but he just closed them; that usually worked well enough.

He was gently pulled forward and then pushed onto what he quickly realised was the sofa. He could feel his Master's weight shifting the cushions. His robes were brushing Remus’ skin while apparently bending over Remus. A hand was sorting some strands of his hair away.

“Now, Pet,” his Master nearly whispered next to his ear, “You will be good, won’t you?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Better than last time.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Put your hands over your head and leave them there.”

“Yes, Master.”

His Master brushed over his skin and slowly kissed his way down from Remus’ neck, before he brushed Remus' penis and worked it up to an erection, before circling the tip with his mouth. Remus arched his back and bit his lips in an attempt to keep quiet, but it felt so, so good, and his Master usually liked a bit of squirming during sex.

“No, my little pet,” he said and brushed with a finger over the tip again, when Remus had let a quiet whine escape. Remus nodded that he had understood. He wouldn’t come; he was sure of it. There were more kisses and occasional teasing, but nothing that he couldn’t handle. Though it was getting harder and harder to keep his hands where they were. He really wanted to touch his Master back, give back some of the pleasure his touches gave him.

The stretching was equally as slow and gentle as the foreplay, and it didn’t take long until Remus heard a tiny sigh from his Master, and he was left empty.

He was so aroused by then that it was nearly painful. All his being seemed to want to do one thing only. He shivered, hoping his Master wouldn’t touch him again. He took a few deep breaths to get himself under control again.

“Are you alright, Wolf?” Severus asked after he had run cleaning spells over them both.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. He still felt the transformation in his bones. His muscles ached and his hip hurt, but he felt somehow still better than he had all day. Calmer somehow, even though he was so aroused.

The weight of his Master shifted around him, and then he was wrapped up in a blanket and found himself curled up next to his Master on the sofa, his head on a cushion that rested on his Master's legs, his arms tightly caught in the blanket.

Despite his exhaustion, the ache between his legs wouldn’t ease. How easy—how nice it would be to just use his hands… He could just finish and then fall asleep without that ache. But he shouldn’t. He wouldn’t because his Master didn’t want him to. He searched for something to distract him, but his eyes were still only showing him blackness. His Master's hand that had started running through his hair and over his cheeks were a welcome distraction just a few moments later.

“Open your mouth,” his Master said, and pushed a small piece of chocolate into his mouth, when Remus complied.

“Thank you, Master,” Remus said around the chocolate before slowly letting it dissolve in his mouth. Another distraction.

“You are restless,” Severus informed him.

“I’m sorry, Master,” Remus said, trying to find a position that eased his tension.

“What is it?”

Remus just gave a slight shrug.

“Tell me.” His Master’s voice had a commanding undertone that made Remus tell him.

“I- I just… the full moon and this just now…”

“Are you in pain?”

“No,” Remus sighed. “Master. I just… You touched me rather... skilfully… I don’t think that is wise if you want me to sleep quickly.”

“So, you are not in control of your urges? Again?” his Master said, but his voice was soft.

“Yes, Master,” Remus said. “I know I shouldn’t want to.”

“No, pet, you shouldn’t,” his Master said, and resumed petting his hair. “Maybe it helps to think about something else.”

“Like what, Master?”

“Did you read up on the ingredients of the Wolfsbane Potion?”

“No, Master.”

“I suggest you do that,” Severus said. “List the ingredients of a simple calming draught and their properties.”

Remus wasn’t very much in the headspace for potion questions, but he tried his best, and his Master corrected him gently, while occasionally feeding him a bit of chocolate, when he got a question right. Remus knew he would not remember a single fact his Master explained in the morning, but that was alright.