Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“So you’re telling me,” Fabian said slowly, staring at the girl in front of him, sprawled across his roommate’s bed like a languid cat, “that you are not Patricia.”

“No, darling,” Not-Patricia cooed in an accent far more refined than her own. “I am not.” She smiled satisfactorily, pinching the skin at her waist. “Though I must admit, I do like being her. I haven’t been this young since I was her age. And such a nice body— curvy, supple... Clearly it runs in the family!”

“Okay, knock it off, lady!” Eddie scowled, arms crossed firmly over his chest in an attempt to seem like he had control of the situation. Obviously, he didn’t. “Don’t talk about her like that!”

Not-Patricia rolled her eyes, and sat up, stretching. “Oh, do relax, young man,” she huffed, making both boys cringe. “I have no intention of disrespecting my own great-granddaughter. In fact, I’d very much like to help her. I’m quite fond of Patricia, you know, having watched her and her sister grow up from beyond the grave. I always liked her best out of the two of them— don’t tell Piper.”

“Okay, enough rambling,” Fabian interjected impatiently, still trying to piece the whole thing together. “Eddie, where exactly did you find her?”

“I went looking for her, trying to apologize for those fake messages, but when I find her, she starts talking crazy!” Eddie squawked for what felt like the hundredth time. “Claiming to be some lady from the 1900s named Maria!”

“I can speak for myself, thank you,” she snapped. Fabian and Eddie waited for her to say more, but she just sighed. “Well, yes, I suppose that is what happened. But it’s true! My name is Maria Williamson, though when I was on the expedition that caused this particular mess you find yourselves in, I was Maria Thompson.” She cocked her head at Fabian, batting her lashes. “Ring any bells, darling?”

Fabian tried not to crawl out of his skin hearing Patricia— or rather, the spirit possessing her body speaking through her— call him “darling,” but the name did ring a bell. “You’re Patricia’s great-grandmother! The one who stole the artifacts that brought on Ammut’s wrath!”

She tapped her nose with a smile. “Aren’t you a clever cog?” Maria teased. “Yes, that’s me. Though I don’t appreciate you pining the sole onus on me, boy. There was plenty blame to go around.”

“Okay, great! That still doesn’t explain why the hell you’ve decided to take over my girlfriend’s body!” Eddie was trying valiantly not to fight the woman in front of him, lest he hurt the actual girl housing her. “Was guiding her hand and making her sleep talk not enough?”

“Oh, yes, I rather liked the drawings! That was my dear Sylvester’s idea,” tittered Maria, flipping one of Patricia’s neat curls over her shoulder. “Muriel’s was the sleep-talking, but I thought it was far too obvious. And loud.”

“Answer the question!” Eddie snarled, taking a menacing step forward, his panic shortening his fuse.

Maria turned to Fabian with a sour expression on her face. “See, this,” she gestured to Eddie’s reddening face, “is exactly the behavior you should all be avoiding right now. It’s certainly what got my kin into this mess.”

Ignoring Eddie’s outraged expression entirely, she stood up, and walked to Fabian, linking her arm through his. Maria guided him to the other bed and together they sat down; she took his hand gently and squeezed. “As I already explained to this dear Osirian here when he was first screaming in my face, you are all in grave danger. As you know, my colleague took the fall for our… folly, and was cursed into servitude into the underworld in our place. And now,” she paused for dramatic effect that had both Eddie and Fabian exchanging doubtful looks, “he is awake. Robert is building an army on Ammut’s behalf… albeit, a small army, but an army nonetheless.”

“An army?” gasped Fabian.

Maria nodded gravely. “Yes. It’s a loose definition, anyway, but that is what the Sinners are, the five human souls he needs to bring forth the Devourer from the Underworld. Once taken, they walk among the living like ghouls."

Eddie's jaw went slack. "Or zombies..."

Fabian shot him a reproachful look. "Yeah, I'm going to need you to not bring that up when Alfie gets here. He'll have another meltdown."

"Yes, yes, as I was saying," Maria interrupted, rather cross they were talking over her story. "These Sinners’ sole goal is to capture other Sinners. Their souls strengthen Ammut, you see, and with all of them captured, she will have enough strength to pass through to the realm of the living. Once Robert has all five, he will use an object of great power to open a portal for her." Maria shook her head gravely... or rather, shook Patricia's head for her. This whole thing was hurting their brains. "And once Ammut is here..."

"We know what happens," Eddie bit out, hoping his hands weren't shaking too noticeably. "We read a book."

"Ah, yes, the one Louisa compiled. It's a good thing you found that," she replied. "And the secret room in general. It's rather brilliant, isn't it?"

"Erm, yes." Fabian glanced helplessly at Eddie, who was still fuming. "Took us a long time to get into it, but... yeah, it's brilliant."

"That's part of why it's brilliant!" she chirped.

"Will you shut up for once second?!" Eddie exploded, startling both Fabian and Maria. "Why are you here? What have you done to Patricia?" This day had gone from bad to worse. First, his girlfriend hated him because she got it in her head he'd cheated on her, and now the ghost of her great-grandmother decided this was the perfect time to pay them all a visit? He needed to talk to Patricia; try to clear up the misunderstanding! "I want to talk to my girlfriend. Now."

Her expression softened into sadness, eyes brimming with pity. "Oh, darling," she cooed, giving Fabian's knee a gentle pat before standing up and crossing to the Osirian. She took both his hands and squeezed them in a comforting gesture. "I'm afraid you wouldn't like what you'd find."

Fabian's chest tightened as he watched Eddie's furious expression begin to crumple. "What do you mean?" he asked in a small voice.

Maria glanced over her shoulder at Fabian hesitantly, as if asking if he thought Eddie was capable of hearing bad news at that moment. Fabian felt a lump well up in his own throat and he couldn't bring himself to do anything but stare at her. It was obvious what had happened, and yet, it was hard to conceptualize it. Patricia was standing right there, but it was so clear that it wasn't her: her posture was tall, her features somehow softer, older. "She was taken, Eddie," he forced himself to spit out. Someone had to say it. "Frobisher got her."

"No..." Eddie breathed, pulling his hands out of her grasp. "But I thought... my vision." He shook his head, sitting down hard on his bed. "I thought I'd stopped it."

Maria sighed. "I'm so sorry, boys. I know this must be difficult. It’s only thanks to my quick thinking that I was able to intervene when I did at all. Otherwise, I fear something else would be speaking with you now."

Fabian swallowed back his grief and fear, forcing himself to focus. "How many Sinners does Frobisher have now?" he asked.

"Only two, thankfully," Maria replied, seemingly happy to get back to business and away from the cloying sadness that stifled the air in the room. "And luckily my great-granddaughter won't be of much help to their cause, thanks to me. So it appears as though only Robert, that nasty blonde Jezebel, and Victor are a threat for now. Which, by the way," she continued, tone growing nostalgic, "my, how Victor has grown. The last I saw of him was when he'd just turned fourteen! It's such a shame to see him suffer such a ghastly fate now."

"Patricia—!" Fabian began, the familiar warning to stop saying insensitive things at the wrong time, but he cut himself off with a start. It was a gut-punch, but also a twisted sort of comfort to see the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Maria’s expression grew sympathetic again. "I'm sorry again that she can't be here with you. For now, she's not suffering, and if we can stop them from unleashing the Devourer, no one need suffer at all. But we must get ahold of ourselves." She smiled primly, tossing another curl over her shoulder. "I must say, you are lucky to have me. I was the smartest on that expedition, you know, and I was heavily involved with prepping for the aftermath. With my help and superior intelligence, we will have this sorted in no time. It's much easier to guide you this way, anyway. Communing from the afterlife via backwards sleeping talking and Spinographs was hardly effective, wouldn't you agree?"

Suddenly she let out a small cry, clutching at her heart. Eddie was up in a flash, instinct taking over. "What is it?" he asked, eyes cloudy and voice slightly wild.

"Oh," Maria chuckled breathily, and the boys could hear a note of concern in her voice. "I fear we're locked in a bit of a battle, she and I." She patted Eddie's hand maternally, telling him not to worry. "My soul is squishing down the corrupted creature Ammut created, but she's a feisty little thing. Mean, too. Oh, but that just proves the depth of her loyalty and love for you all. The nastier the Sinner, the gentler the real human being."

"Never thought I'd hear Patricia be referred to as 'gentle'," huffed Fabian, relieved when Eddie gave a small snort of laughter. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes, of course," she replied, straightening up. "I'm far stronger than some counterfeit evil spirit. Now, I'm sure you both need a moment to process this, and I need to get used to being a living being once again. I haven't had to eat, drink, or use the restroom since 1958! I think I should like to change into something a bit more comfortable. I noticed my great-granddaughter has a taste for synthetic leather and tight denim." She shuddered. "I do wish her sister were here. From what I could tell, Piper appreciates more breathable fabrics."

She started for the exit, leaving a stunned and reeling Eddie and Fabian in her wake, but the door opened before she could leave.

"Patricia!" KT exclaimed, relief in her voice. She threw her arms around her neck and hugged her. "We were so worried!" She looked over Maria's shoulder at the boys. "And you all yelled at me for running off on my own."

Eddie's expression was back to looking stricken, so Fabian once again had to be the one to speak. "Um, KT," he sighed, heart heavy, "that's not Patricia."

"Oh!" KT pulled back, examining her friend's face. "Then you must be Piper! I've heard a lot about you from Alfie, it's so nice to—"

"That's, uh, not Piper either," Fabian cut her off quickly.

“So, what?” KT frowned. "Patricia's got a triplet?" she asked, one eyebrow raised high.

Eddie grunted, suddenly angry again at the whole rotten mess. "No, she doesn't!" he growled. "This is—"

"Sylvester's boy!" Maria cried in obvious delight, shoving KT out of the way so she could rush to Alfie, who was just coming in the door. She slapped both hands on either side of his face, turning his head this way and that as she examined him. "Let me get a good look at you, darling! Oh, you've got his eyes. They're just the same!"

Startled and more than a little confused, Alfie stumbled, trying to shake off her grip. "Trixie, what the hell?" he squawked indignantly. "What are you doing? Who is Sylvester?"

"Your great-grandfather, of course! My favorite of all! I say, you look almost nothing like him in the face or build," she observed, the strong affection in her voice doing its part to dissipate some of the stale depression that still hung in the air from the terrible news, "but those are his eyes!" Maria tugged him into a tight embrace, Alfie's chin resting atop her head, expression completely flabbergasted. "And I can tell you have his spirit!"

"Not Alfie, too!" Eddie cried, horrified.

Fabian sighed heavily, waving KT over, while Alfie tried to pry Maria off him to no avail. "We have... news," he began slowly. "And it's not good."

Chapter Text

“I don’t like her,” Eddie grouched, glaring across the common room at the body of his girlfriend possessed by her great-grandmother.

Maria doted over Alfie like she was his mother, asking him an inordinate amount of questions about the most ridiculous things imaginable. Eddie was almost certain he’d heard her asking him if he preferred painting or sketching. They were talking art together! Patricia didn’t know a crayon from a marker, but here this old tomb-robber was, making her yack on and on to Alfie about it, when the real Patricia should be yacking to Eddie about rock and roll… or something.

Two days seemed to be all it took for the other members of Sibuna to warm up to Maria, but Eddie still felt sick to his stomach every time he looked at her. He felt like an utter failure.

KT gave him a dry side-long glance. “Eddie, she’s not flirting with Alfie,” she drawled.

Eddie scowled at her. “Eww, what? That’s not what I was thinking! She’s, like, a hundred years old!”

“Actually, according to her records, she was just shy of seventy-four when she died,” Fabian chirped, typing away furiously on his computer. Some parts of the phonograph in the secret room were eroded beyond saving, and Fabian was still scouring the internet for replacements. Maria claimed she hadn’t been a part of helping Robert record anything, so she wasn’t any help, either.

Unsurprising, Eddie thought bitterly. “Okay, the point still stands. She’s way too old for him.”

“But you’re jealous anyway,” KT remarked, clearly trying to bite back her amusement. “You know, now we really have to be careful about that sort of thing.”

Without looking up from his computer screen, Fabian smirked. “Maybe you should ask Willow for help with a guided meditation,” he snickered.

“Yeah,” laughed KT, “or she can practice some reiki on you.”

“You guys think this is so funny!” Eddie snapped, a blend of embarrassment and outrage making his ears warm. “Why am I the only one who seems to care that the real Patricia is locked away in some stone coffin getting her life force leeched away by some evil underworld lapdog?” He shook his head, grabbing his stuff so he could go sulk elsewhere. “Some friends you guys are.”

“Oh, come on, that’s not fair,” KT protested, catching him by the wrist. “Of course we care!”

“That’s why we’re doing everything we can to set this right,” Fabian sighed. “Still, you’re right, Eddie, we shouldn’t be making fun.”

Eddie sniffed imperiously, allowing KT to tug him back down into his chair. “Thank you.”

“But,” Fabian continued, finally peeling his eyes away from eBay, “you could stand to be a little nicer to her. She did sort of save us.”

“Be nice? To the tomb-robber who helped get us into this mess in the first place?!” he scoffed. “How has she saved us by taking over Patricia’s body?”

KT stared at him like he was stupid. “Uh, by stopping the other thing that was going to take over Patricia’s body? More specifically, an evil Sinner version of Patricia.”

Eddie’s jaw clenched and he cast his eyes down to his hands where they kneaded into his uniform slacks. “At least it would still be Patricia,” he muttered darkly.

“That’s not true, and you know it,” Fabian replied evenly. “Look at how Victor’s been acting. If you haven’t noticed a difference, then I really don’t know what to tell you, except that you don’t have a particularly charitable perception of the people around you.”

KT rested her head on his shoulder comfortingly. “Look, I know you miss her,” she soothed. “We all do, but think about how much worse it would be if she’d been taken and we had no idea? There’s no telling what sort of damage she could have caused, and with Maria, we have an advantage. She knows Frobisher probably better than anyone else alive.” Her eyes glittered wistfully. “You should hear the stories she’s told me! Like, did you know Robert was very fond of ping-pong?”

Fabian began to laugh, and her words even managed to coax a chuckle out of Eddie. “Actually, yeah,” he said, ruffling his friend’s hair, “I did.”

“It was kind of a whole thing last year, KT,” Fabian informed her.

“Aw, man!” She ducked out of Eddie’s reach, and fixed her hair, expression pinched. “Why do I miss all the fun?”

“Fun?” Alfie asked, bouncing over to them, with Maria a few steps behind him. She was talking to Willow, the latter of whom was animatedly chattering on in obvious delight. “What sort of fun?”

“Ping-pong tournament kind of fun,” Eddie replied.

A nostalgic smile spread across Alfie’s face. “Ah, yes, the one where I was mentally and physically de-aging. Remember when Amber got too old and creaky to play, and I somehow uncovered a cheating scandal?”

Fabian shook his head wryly. “I can’t say I do,” he deadpanned, and Eddie got the sense it had something to do with the ‘hexes’ he’d been vaguely filled in on.

“Right!” laughed Alfie. “So, what’s the deal with the phonograph parts?”

KT shot him a warning look, subtly jerking her head to where Willow stood well within earshot, still gazing at Maria-in-Patricia’s-body with round, wondering eyes.

Alfie followed her gaze, smiling sheepishly. “Yeah… about that…”

“Alfie…”

“Don’t ask me how she knew, she just knew, okay?” Alfie exclaimed, throwing his hands up defensively. “And so one thing lead to another, and now she may or may not know about the whole ‘Sinners walk among us’ dilemma.”

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Maria said, looking at each of their withering expressions. “The more people who know, means the fewer people we have to worry about stumbling into the Devourer’s trap.”

“Besides,” Alfie said, voice a few octaves higher than usual, “the only person who’d ever really believe us no questions asked is Willow, right?”

“Right!” cheered Willow. “Squee! I can’t believe I’m talking to a real, live ghost!”

“It’s a ghost,” Eddie snapped, “it’s not alive.”

Maria gave him a scolding look that made Eddie want to wither up and die. “‘It’ has a name that you are well aware of,” she said tersely, “and for the time being, I am alive. It’s not my first choice either, I’ll have you know. I was quite enjoying my rest.”

Then why didn't you stay resting? Eddie thought bitterly, fists tightening. He didn't speak, just scooped up his bag and stalked off, ignoring the feeling of pitying eyes on his back. They could laugh and joke all they wanted, but Eddie was going to do something. He wasn't sure exactly what yet, but he was going to find something.

His feet carried him blindly through the corridors. Lunch period was nearly over, and students milled around him in a teeming ocean of bodies. How many of them were still themselves? What if, while they sat around being entertained by Maria's stories of days gone by, Team Evil was out capturing more Sinners? The thought made his stomach lurch. What if “Maria” was just a distraction?

He was pushing open the door to the history classroom before he even realized where he was, halting abruptly in the threshold. Denby looked up from her lunch, startled by his explosive entrance. For a moment, she just looked like any other teacher, bemused at her student's hijinks. Then, her expression grew smug.

"Lost something?" she asked coyly.

Eddie lunged forward, reacting on pure instinct. He'd go for her eye first, then maybe he'd beat her with a chair. A firm hand on his arm jerked him to a halt, and he whirled around to see Patricia— no, Maria's— stern expression.

"Stop it. This solves nothing," she hissed, tugging him behind her with surprising strength. Then, she squared her shoulders, staring down at Denby, who'd flinched back against her desk in fear when Eddie moved to attack her. "You should be thanking me, you snake-hearted witch," she snapped, voice crisp, prim, and all wrong coming out of Patricia’s mouth. "He'd have put you in the hospital. Or better yet, sent you to the afterlife you want so badly. Tell me," she continued, tossing her hair back over her shoulder, "how is dear Robert holding up after such humiliation? I'd say it was nice to see him again after so many years, but I don't lie unless absolutely necessary."

Denby's mouth twisted into a smirk, but it was a bit shaky. "A failure?" she scoffed, cutting a meaningful glance at Eddie. "I wouldn't say it was a total failure. We may not have two Sinners, but we have two souls." Her icy blue eyes raked Eddie up and down. "And perhaps we might get our third sooner than we anticipated. Tell me," she added in a voice that mocked Maria's, "how does it feel to know she was captured because of you? Like I say to all my students, cheaters never win."

It took everything in Eddie not to shove past Maria and land a blow on Denby's jaw, but he managed to hold his ground. "Take your own advice, then," he growled. He wanted to stay there and fight, but Maria was unfortunately right. This wasn't the something he should be doing.

Denby's smirk deepened. "Perhaps I will," she cooed, more confident now that she wasn't in danger of getting her skull caved in.

“I’m sure.” Maria’s nose crinkled with distaste, and she pointed at Denby’s screaming-pink blouse. “By the way, that color is hideous on you. You look like a walking Pepcid tablet.”

With that, Maria turned sharply and ushered Eddie back into the hallway and down the corridor. When they were out of sight of the history classroom, they halted, and Eddie braced himself for the chastising he knew was coming.

“Go ahead,” he grumbled, hot embarrassment creeping up the back of his neck. He’d let his emotions get the better of him, tipped his hand to the adults. Just like the failure he was. “Call me an ‘utter fool’ or whatever annoying old-timey insult you come up with. I deserve it.”

Maria looked at him for a long moment through Patricia’s eyes, expression unreadable. Then, she tucked him into her steady arms and hugged him tight. Eddie stiffened, unsure of what to do and startled by how short she was when she wasn’t wearing her biker boots. Students milled around them, barely paying them a passing glance. To everyone else it was just Eddie and Patricia, boyfriend and girlfriend, hugging in the hallway: relatively rare, but nothing out of the ordinary. But it wasn’t ordinary. Nothing about any of this was ordinary.

“I understand,” Maria murmured, squeezing him tighter. “I’m going to help you, darling. I promise.”

Eddie knew she meant it, but he still felt wooden when he returned her embrace.

“I know,” he whispered back, patting the old woman gently on the shoulder as he pulled away. “Thanks.”

She could tell he wasn’t comforted, he could see it in the way her brow furrowed, but he was grateful when she didn’t push it.

“Come on back, now,” she coaxed. “The others were worried when you took off. Rightfully so, I’d say.”

At that, Eddie rolled his eyes. “I’ll bet… Alright, then. Lead the way.”

She gave a sharp nod of approval and they started back toward the student lounge. Lunch would be over soon anyway.

“By the way,” Eddie added just before they rejoined the others, “nice one with the shirt. I bet she never wears pink again.”

Maria smiled smugly. “She really does look like a glass of Pepto-Bismol,” she snickered. “Whoever told her that was her color, must have been the same person who signed the discharge papers at whatever asylum she crawled out of.”

Eddie let out a startled laugh, surprised that Maria did in fact have the same sharp tongue as her descendant.

As if reading his mind, she threw him a wink, before slipping into the lounge to rejoin the rest of Sibuna. Eddie took a deep, centering breath, and followed her.

He still didn’t like her… but maybe she wasn’t so bad.