Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

James hollered as the paper ball he had shot through the air with a spell knocked over the inkwell on Snape’s desk, sending dark liquid everywhere. Marlene cheered him on from her spot perched on the edge of Lily and Mary’s conjoined desks. A few other students – robed in green and crimson alike – chuckled at the scene while Snape hissed, desperately trying to keep his precious potions book safe from the seeping ink. Lily made an attempt to help him but Marlene blocked her way over with a sharp headshake, so Lily settled for taking a swipe at James’ head in a manner not unlike his mother.

Slughorn cleared his throat in an attempt to regain control of the class but went mostly ignored until a deeply annoyed Dorcas Meadowes stood, barking out,

“Oi! Shut it!” The room fell silent in seconds with the exception of Marlene who let out a sigh James could have sworn was admiring which she quickly covered with a groan. Dorcas dropped back into her seat and Slughorn began to speak only to be cut off yet again as the classroom door opened.

James Potter watched the new kid walk into his first potions class of the school year. Regal, younger, and just a little too familiar. The silver stripes on his emerald tie matched the sharp slate grey of his cutting eyes. Dark lashes and fine-boned features made him look almost feminine as slender fingers swept jaw-length, inky hair from his face. He was stunning.

The class once again devolved into whispered speculation about the new student who ducked his head and hurried to the empty seat beside Dorcas, slumping into it with a quiet greeting to the girl. Slughorn tried shushing the class before seemingly giving up and raising his wand to the side of his throat, amplifying his voice.

“Welcome back sixth years, to extension potions. Another year in which I shall teach you to brew and bottle the grandest concoctions wizard kind has ever dreamt up. Before I get into our extensive and interesting syllabus for this year…”

James let him drone on, zoning out from the watery-eyed man’s speech on the intricacies and excitements of potion making. It was the same every year and James had slept through it the first time; he wasn’t going to start paying attention now. And regardless, his eyes had already caught on something outside the window, a glint of gold. The snitch. The part of his brain that craved movement whispered to him that he could walk out of the class right now. Could just stand up and leave, stroll down to the quidditch pitch, and join whatever first-year class was having flying practice now. He knew logically that he shouldn’t, but oh how he longed to be flying. It was the only time his mind was ever quiet.

At some point he found himself tuning back into the professor's incessant drone,

“… Regulus is joining us from his fifth-year potions class as his marks are excelling and he felt he needed more of an academic challenge. Everyone, please make him feel welcome.”

A scattered applause was heard.

“Now, as always we begin the year by selecting our lab partners.” Slughorn raised his arms in a have at it and the chaos began. For the most part, people chose the friends they were seated next to. James expected that to be the case for him too as he opened his mouth, turning to Marlene who had been his partner for the last two years only to see her staring longingly across the classroom. He followed her gaze to the bejewelled, box-braided figure of one Dorcas Meadowes. She had been the subject of Marlene’s affections since the day they met in first year.

Marlene had always held herself with a certain degree of fight, obvious even when stationary. She had grown up surrounded by her three brothers and her father who taught them that only the strongest survive. Every dinner at her house was a blood bath for the best pieces of food and the few times James had stayed over when they were younger, he had never seen anyone escape without a few bruises. That, combined with the fact that her best friends since childhood were James and Peter had led her to an upraising of roughhousing and playfights. She was one of the guys and it showed. So when she had met Dorcas Meadowes, perfect, poised, pureblood. Well… suffice to say they had some disagreements. But there was something in Marlene’s eyes when she looked at Dorcas that James saw, no matter how much she denied it James knew part of her longed for a life like that, or at least part of it. She wanted to be like Dorcas, but more than that she wanted Dorcas.

The two girls had had some silent rivalry that had only increased as they were sorted into warring houses and then again into opposing quidditch teams, but James had never see the shine to Marlene’s stares disappear. So he closed his mouth and pushed his chair back as he stood, sidestepping his desk and dragging Marlene off her perch on Lily’s desk. He looped his arm through hers and frogmarched her to the other side of the classroom. They came to a stop before the desk Dorcas and the new kid – Regulus was his name – sat at. Marlene seemed to realise his plan too late and attempted to tug her arm free but James held strong.

“Hello?” The boy – Regulus – drawled and James could have sworn he nearly melted on the spot. His voice was smooth like caramel but there was something else, like ice that threatened to erupt into shards. The way he spoke warned of a silver tongue that was sharp enough to cut. The sorting hat definitely knew what it was doing when it sorted him, everything about the boy screamed Slytherin.

“Ah- umm.. Yes hello.” James stuttered slightly and Marlene jabbed him with an elbow as Dorcas and the boy glanced at each other with a shared look of amusement. “I assume you two are partners? Terribly sorry but I was wondering if you would switch with me? You see, Marlene and I have been paired for the last two years and I may actually throw myself off the astronomy tower if I am once again shown up by her superior potion making abilities.” He chuckled awkwardly and even Marlene managed to chuff a laugh despite how stiffly she stood.

The two slytherins exchanged a glance before Dorcas glanced at James,

“Give us a moment to discuss.” James nodded quickly.

After some time, during which the slytherins didn’t say a single word but instead seemed to be locked in an intense stare-off and silent battle of wills, they turned to James and Marlene.

“Okay,” Regulus replied with a victorious grin.

“Excellent.” James returned his grin before shoving Marlene towards a slightly less enthusiastic Dorcas. “Have fun kids. Shall we?” He offered his arm to Regulus who scoffed.

“Fat chance pretty boy. They’re going over that side, all the red and gold is too garish for me to focus. Grab your stuff and bring it over here.” He flashed a smile at Dorcas and wiggled his fingers in a wave, “I’ll see you after class Cas.”

James felt himself smirk at the nickname as he swept all his papers and quills into his satchel carelessly. He swung it over his shoulder and blew a kiss to Marlene who stuck her tongue out at him.

He dropped his bag at the foot of the desk and slid in beside Regulus.

“So, Regulus was it? Tell me about yourself.”

“Let’s see, my family despises gryffindors, my mother believes your parents to be blood traitors and if we get anything lower than full marks, I will personally drown you in the black lake and leave your rotting corpse there for the merfolk.”

Despite the threat, James couldn’t help but grin, this year might actually be fun.

Chapter Text

James found himself watching the Slytherin table across the hall, searching for the delicate boy he had been paired with for potions. They had worked in near silence for the remainder of the class which had been entirely theory as was the habit for the first few weeks. James had of course asked more questions, but they had gone ignored. Regulus had simply made a shooing gesture with his hand and continued reading something that James assumed wasn’t course material – he had no way of knowing for sure as the text was in French which Sirius had taught him no more of than a few basic cusses.

He groaned. No matter how much James scanned the Great Hall, he couldn’t see Regulus.

“What’s up mate?” Sirius asked sliding into the seat beside him propping his feet up on the opposite bench only to be shoved off as Remus dropped down across from him. James grinned at the two, momentarily forgetting the person his thoughts had snagged on as Remus and Peter struck up conversation about some new strategy in wizard chess. He glanced over at the Slytherin table again before turning and gathering the other three with a beckoning wave. They all leaned closer.

“Okay, what do you guys know about a fifth year Slytherin called Regulus?” James whispered and the other boys all shared a confused look before shaking their heads slightly.

“I mean, Regulus is the name of the star at the heart of Leo. You said he’s in Slytherin right? Oh gods. Might be one of my lot.” Sirius cringed at the idea of James having to put up with one of his relatives no matter how distant.

“Never ‘eard of ‘im mate.” Remus shrugged, “You’d be be’er off askin Mary – she always seems ta know everythin ‘bout every’un.”

Before James could reply an arm was slung over his shoulders,

“Askin bout yer new potions par’ner Jamie?” Mary chuckled; her accent more pronounced due to her teasing tone. Marlene draped herself over his other shoulder,

“None of his crew are at dinner tonight, my bet is the lot of ‘em are hanging around the Slytherin common room. According to Rita they do that a lot.” Marlene drawled.

“Well haven’t you been busy Marls?” James laughed as she shoved him, her cheeks flushing heavily.

“I’m so lost right now it’s not even funny.” Sirius moaned and James turned to explain to him but was cut off by Lily dropping down between them, perching herself on the edge of the table, booted feet on the bench.

“Marlene is lovesick for Dorcas Meadowes, James is curious about his mysterious new potions partner he gained by playing matchmaker with Dorcas and Marls and Mary is – as always – gossiping.” She stated blowing a playful kiss to Mary who pretended to catch and pocket it while laughing.

“Sometimes I think you two ‘re secretly datin and jus ‘aven’t told the lo’ o’ us.” Remus sighed,

Everyone laughed but there was something strained in Mary’s smile and Lily’s grin didn’t quite reach her eyes as she joked,

“But then who would our dearest Jamie admire? We all know he’s too loyal to go after me if Mary laid claim.” The tremble in her voice caused the joke to fall flat. In the moment of quiet that followed James was suddenly desperate for any subject to break the tension. Sirius, his saviour, gasped.

“Wait. Dorcas Meadowes? Ain’t she one of Estrella’s friends? Yeah yeah, her and Crouch. And the Rosier twins. I never trusted those two, the Ravenclaw girl always kinda gave me the heeby-jee- aah! Hey!” Lily had smacked him upside the head,

“Don’t be rude!” She hissed.

Sirius moaned but shut his mouth for fear of another reprimanding strike. The group went back to chatting, the conversation flowing between subjects in a way that caused James’s brain to hum pleasantly, satisfied by the stimulation and the company.

Dinner appeared and Lily hopped off the table. The three girls pleasantly asked a couple first years to shuffle over which they happily did tittering about how cool the older girls were. Lily sat down beside James and Marlene squished in beside her then threw what felt like her entire body weight against Lily, sending her careening into James and forcing him and Sirius about half a foot further down the bench. James caught Lily easily and wondered what had changed in him over the last few years.

Had this been him in third year, Lily Evans – the love of his life – crushed against his side, he would have been a blushing stuttering mess, instead he made a quick quip about her falling for him and set her upright. There was still the little flutter in his chest and stomach, but he now knew Lily enough to know that he wasn’t what she wanted, and he respected that. It didn’t even hurt as much as he thought it would. Perhaps he would always feel this way a little bit, but he was okay just being friends. If anything, he was more scared of losing her as a friend than he was of never having her as more.

His thoughts were interrupted by Peter’s shriek of glee as he pulled something out of the bag he had been rummaging through for the last few minutes.

“I haven’t a clue how to use it but look what I found!” He announced.

“What is it Pete?” Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Issa muggle cam’ra.” Remus replied making grabby hands at the box shaped object. Pete passed it over. “A Pol’roid.”

He lifted the box to his eye and pointed the dark circle on the other side at James and Sirius.

“Say cheese.”

“What the fu-” The box flashed, blinding Sirius before he could finish his sentence. Remus lowered the camera as a paper strip printed from it. He pulled the piece of blank card free and passed it to Lily who began to shake it like a lunatic, getting a lot of odd looks and nearly decapitating James with her elbow.

“Merlin’s beard woman! What on earth are you doing?” Sirius’s exclamation went ignored as Lily paused to look at the piece of card which was no longer blank. She grinned and handed the photo to James. It showed a mildly horrified looking Sirius next to a slightly agape James whose eyes held a green sheen as he stared at the camera in what looked like a trance. Sirius snatched the photo.

“Why Jamie, you might say you look like a ‘deer in the headlights’.” He snickered and Remus and Peter roared with laughter as the girls watched on in deep confusion.

Lily grabbed the camera and passed it to a student walking past, asking them to take a photo of the group and showing them how to use it. She hurried back to the rest of them, and they all turned to the camera.

“Everybody smile.”

Chapter Text

“Pass me the arrowroot, Potter.” Regulus demanded and James found himself blindly reaching for the ingredient, mesmerised by the look of concentration on Regulus’s face. Watching Regulus work was like watching a well-oiled machine, at least fifty different things happening all at once and Regulus managing every one of them while James was relegated to following whatever instructions the French boy deigned to give him.

“Shit.” James hissed, pulling his hand back to observe the cut from the razor-sharp arrowroot. It wasn’t deep but it was bleeding and it stung like all manner of things. Regulus let out an exasperated sigh,

“Would you like me to kiss it better for you Potter?”

“I mean, if you’re offering?” James smirked as Reg tsked at him.

They had been paired up for about six weeks now and this was the first time Slughorn had allowed them to brew anything. It was a simple draught, something to cause uninhibited confidence if James remembered correctly. He had heard Lily and Marlene joke that he must have some sort of intravenous drip of it constantly leaking into his veins. For some reason that thought had stirred something unpleasant in him. The little creeping sensation of annoyance, of hurt swirled for a few seconds before James had squashed it.

He turned his attention back to Regulus who was haphazardly reaching for ingredients strewn across the bench. James smacked his hand lightly,

“Just ask for my help. Stop being so stubborn.” He reprimanded and Regulus scoffed,

“You’d love that wouldn’t you Potter.”

“Actually, I would.” James grinned, snatching up a mortar and pestle and set to work grinding the lily bulbs.

“Can anyone tell me why lily bulbs are safe to consume within this potion despite being poisonous naturally.” Slughorn queried the class and out of habit James’s eyes flickered over to Lily, whether because of the nature of the question or just because she was always the first to answer the professor. James knew the answer, but he rather enjoyed watching the proud look spread across her face as she answered. Which was why he was shocked to hear a voice beside him pipe up before Lily’s hand could even shoot into the air.

“There are actually a number of poisonous ingredients in this draught sir. However, they are all counteracted by the small portion of powdered bezoar required to activate the potion. As I’m sure this class knows, a bezoar is a known cure-all found in the gullet of a goat.” Regulus concluded and James turned stunned eyes on him.

His delicate lips were pulled together in a smirk, accenting his smug expression with a touch of elegance. He was staring across the room with challenge in his eyes and as James followed his line of sight, he found Lily turned in her seat to look at him, rather horror stricken, mouth slightly agape. A frown marred her brow like the fact someone else had beat her to an answer offended her somewhat.

Behind her Marlene was chuckling at something Dorcas was writing on a piece of parchment. James found out what a moment later as the crumpled ball of paper collided with Regulus’s head. Regulus snatched it up and spread it on the desk, flattening out the crinkles.

Show off.

You should have seen Potter’s face lmao. He looked like he was in l-

Regulus smited the paper with a quick igniting spell before James got any further through reading the note.

“Come onnnn…” James whined to no avail. Regulus merely ignored him, shot a glare at Dorcas and went back to stirring the crushed lily bulbs into the potion which began to bubble and gained a silvery sheen.

James heard Marlene say something about how it would make a nice shade of eyeshadow.

“You know that’s basically what it is at this point Marls? It isn’t actually considered drinkable until it turns gold, but a lot of witches use it as an eyeshadow at this point. Just stick it in a small jar and leave it to cool into a balm kinda texture.” James shared and Marlene blew him a kiss.

“I always knew you were the smarter brother.” She grinned, “Sirius is too busy being good looking to bother with books.”

“Oi! I’m just as good looking.”

“Sure, you are Jamie, that’s why I dated Sirius but not you.” Marlene laughed and James found it infectious. Before you could blink twice, the red and gold half of the class was near tears in laughter and quite a few silver and green robed shoulder shook with concealed chuckles. Slughorn watched in a defeated acceptance of the fact he wouldn’t succeed in quieting the class.

It was easy to miss Regulus who sat quietly, stirring his potion. Leaning away from the rowdy Gryffindor boy beside him. No one noticed the quiet tear that slipped down his cheek at the reminder that Sirius had a new brother now.

Chapter Text

7:40am, October 20^th- second full moon of the school year

Remus was snappy. In fact, he was what you might call rather pissy. And it was rubbing off on everyone. James tried his best to keep up a smile but when he had woken in the early hours of the morning to the sound of Sirius quietly sniffling with his face buried in his pillow, he was finding it rather difficult.

Sirius hadn’t come down to breakfast. He and Remus had been in a row the night before and the words exchanged had been far crueler than any blows. James wondered whether if it were possible to see one’s soul, who’s amongst them would bear the worst scars. Not his for sure. Alas, Sirius remained curled in bed mostly unresponsive.

Meanwhile, across from James, Remus’s face was stormy, brow pulled low and the shadows under his eyes darker than the depths of his chocolate irises. His toast sat before him untouched and his hands were wrapped around his mug of black coffee with a white-knuckled grip.

“Come on Moony. You need to eat something.” James tried to coax him. Remus ignored him. James glanced over at Peter pleadingly, but the blonde boy merely shrugged. He knew trying to convince Remus to do something he didn’t feel like doing was a futile effort. “Look Rem, the full moon is tonight and you have to eat something before the shift or it’s gonna hurt like a bitch and you’ll try and take a chunk out of my rear again.” James tried to chuff a laugh but Remus only soured further.

Marlene leaned over,

“What’s got you three in a huff?” She bumped her shoulder against James’s, “Where’s Sirius?”

Remus stood abruptly, the bench he was seated on pushing back from the Gryffindor table with a sharp screech which was echoed by the owls as the morning post arrived. Remus didn’t even bother looking where he was going, he just stalked out of the Great Hall. James felt sorry for anyone who didn’t move out of his way fast enough.

“Jeez. Wha’s up wiv ‘im?” Mary asked concerned.

“Oh you know, just his time of the month.” James tried to laugh it off. Luckily the girls seemed to pick up on the fact James didn’t really want to talk about it and left the fact alone. Instead allowing the conversation to flow into chatter about the upcoming Slytherin vs Gryffindor Quidditch game.

…

5:04pm

It was growing dark now. Sirius hadn’t been in any of his classes and the plate of food James had left on his bedside table at breakfast remained untouched. James was worried now. As much as Sirius and Remus bickered, they never properly fought, the last time James had seen Sirius like this was after he had shown up on the Potter’s doorstep in the middle of the night after running away from Grimmauld Place. He hadn’t left his room for days, the guilt of leaving his brother behind eating away at him until Effie had forced her way into the room two days later and demanded Sirius eat something. Euphemia Potter was a very difficult woman to say no to. So, when she had thrown open the curtains and force-fed Sirius beans on toast and a hydrolyte potion something in him relit. His spark rekindled and he was alive again. James was probably overthinking this though. Sirius had always been hard on himself. It would be okay by tonight. It had to be.

…

5:33pm

McGonagall had arrived to take Remus with her about fifteen minutes ago, spouting some nonsense about extra credit work. James and Peter had simply nodded and waved them on their way, keen to get the Professor out of their room as quickly as possible so they could sneak out to be there for Remus at moonrise. As it was, they still hadn’t seen Sirius but it was too late to go searching.

James and Peter were wrapped in the invisibility cloak, shuffling through the halls and praying to Merlin their ankles weren’t showing. The cloak had become too small to fit all four of them sometime in third year after Remus’s first growth spurt. Suddenly they’d had to learn cloaking and masking charms so they could all wander the halls unchecked. Remus had of course become a prefect with Lily so if a teacher ever asked why he was out, he put on his perfect, well-behaved, top-marks student face and straighten the pin and they would send him on his way. Sirius had already been scarily good at the charms and James hadn’t been able to ignore the stabbing feeling in his chest at the realisation. Peter and James had picked up on the spells rather quickly, but James preferred the cloak as it was more reliable and required less focus – something he was quite lacking in.

Finally, the cool October breeze kissed his face through the fabric of the cloak and the two stepped out onto the grassy hill into the ring of large rune stones, sweeping the cloak off their shoulders and stretching out stiff joints. Peter cracked his neck loudly and James clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle a snicker.

“Might as well crack them now while we can.” Peter snorted, “You know once Sirius is here, we won’t be allowed to anymore.”

Despite his denial of his posh upbringing, Sirius had never been able to hide some of the signs of his status. He was never one for gross things, mud and rain were a no go, as were some of the habits the other boys had. James had spoken with his mouth full up until second year when Sirius had literally hexed him so his mouth would stay closed until he swallowed. James hadn’t even known there was a hex that did that, in fact, even now he suspected Sirius may have actually specifically created the spell himself. So cracking joints around Sirius would usually get you yelled at. James didn’t know how Sirius handled being Padfoot; on full moons, he would get muddy, and dusty and werewolf slobber would get everywhere. And yet, the next morning they would find him freshly showered and tending to Remus’s wounds when Madam Pomfrey was busy. For someone who didn’t like getting stuff on him, he was awfully calm around blood.

James and Peter skipped down the hill in the direction of the Whomping Willow which was still frozen with a binding curse which meant McGonagall would be leaving any moment now. The two boys ducked into the curve of one of the large roots and stayed hidden in the shadows, waiting.

They waited five minutes, ten, fifteen without any sign of McGonagall.

“What if something’s wrong?” James asked Peter in a hushed tone. “Moonrise is in ten minutes Wormtail. She shouldn’t be in there still. Where the fuck is Sirius?!” Peter shrugged,

“Maybe we should just go in Jamie. I’m pretty sure McGonagall already knows about us anyways. Once in her cat form, she went after me as Wormtail but when she got closer, she seemed to recognise me and walked away. You’ve seen her, she’d usually eat a rodent but she just walked off.”

“Yeah, I’m getting worried. Let’s just go in.” The two boys crept around the trunk of the Whomping Willow, sliding through the opening at it’s base and into the tunnel below. James landed in the tunnel face to face with Sirius for all of two seconds before Peter came barrelling into him from behind, sending him crashing into the other boy. Sirius let out an undignified shriek and the three boys were sprawled out on the dusty floor.

“Siri! You’re okay! Thank Godric.” James wrapped his arms around Sirius in a crushing embrace. Sirius melted into him. “Why the fuck did you not release the willow curse?”

Sirius tensed,

“Oh I must’ve forgotten. Dam.”

“Sirius! This is not a ‘dam’ situation. Someone could have just wandered in and found out about Remus.” James snapped and Sirius flinched. “Shit I’m sorry. You’ve had a hard day; I shouldn’t have snapped I’ve just been worried about you both. That was unfair of me.”

Sirius nodded his acceptance and Peter ushered them along.

“Come on guys, moonrise in ten. Moony needs us.”

The boys dashed through the tunnel and climbed the rickety wooden steps past gashes in the walls and bitemarks in the railings from full moons past. When they reached the room Remus usually rested in, he was curled in a small ball on the bed, knees tucked to his chest.

“Remus?” He snapped to attention, eyes flashing over to the other three boys. His eyes had a reflective sheen in the darkness, a golden yellow signaling the start of the change. “Moony.” Peter corrected himself. “Look who we brought.” He stepped aside, giving Moony a clear view of Sirius.

The werewolf perked up, bounding over to them and circling Sirius quickly, sniffing lightly at his hair with a little growl like he smelled something he didn’t like before burying his face in the crook of Sirius’ neck. He huffed, warm breath causing Sirius to shiver. He relaxed for a moment, a soft smile on his lips, long fingers coming up to run through Remus’s hair, but then he tensed.

“Wait, I’ve gotta do something real quick. Wait here Moony, I’ll be back.” Remus growled as Sirius pulled away towards the door he’d just come through but listened to Sirius. Dropping to the floor and sitting cross-legged like a child.

“Whatever it is better be quick Sirius. Moonrise in four.”

“I swear I’ll be right back.”

Before anything further could be said Sirius shot down the stairs, sprinting like his life depended on it.

Chapter Text

Sirius had made a very grave mistake.

He had been angry. The night before, Remus had said something that had made him so dam hateful he could have sworn his vision went blurry. Or maybe that had been the tears. Regardless, he had fucked up, slipping a note to Snape in the hallway before class. It had suggested paying the whomping willow a visit that night. He had intended it as a prank. A silly practical joke to scare Snivellus that they could all laugh about afterwards. What hadn’t crossed his mind in his hurt-filled state was what it would mean. It put Remus at risk. Oh gods, he had put Remus at risk. He could have gotten Remus killed. What was he thinking?!

He burst from the tunnels to see Severus standing on the hill overlooking the whomping willow, wand raised as the slightest sliver of moonlight crept over the horizon. A ghostly howl from Moony caused Sirius to draw his wand.

“Stupefy!” Sirius flicked his wand at Severus unnecessarily harshly and he went flying backwards before lying prone on the lawn. Sirius darted from beneath the willow and grabbed Snape’s wrist with a grimace.

He apparated them into a corner of the Slytherin boys’ dorm. Thank Merlin it was empty.

Sirius slipped a hand into the pocket of Snape’s robes, if he played this right, he might be able to fool Snape into believing he had dreamed the whole thing. His hand closed around a piece of parchment, and he withdrew it from the pocket, letting out a silent cheer as saw that it was the note he had given him.

“Incendio.” Sirius murmured and the parchment in his palm burned up in a puff of sparks. He almost smiled before hearing voices outside the door to the dorm.

Shit, what was the time?

“Oh my god Reg! You have a thing for your new potions partner, don’t you?” A rowdy voice chuckled and Sirius was about to disapparate when another voice replied.

“Shut uppp Barty! I don’t fancy James.” Sirius froze. James? He was being silly, there were other people in the school named James. But that voice! It was so familiar and yet he was certain he had never heard it before.

“Oh? James is it? Not Potter anymore?” The first boy – Barty Crouch Junior Sirius presumed – replied in a taunting tone.

“Oh fuck o-” The voice cut off as the door to the boys’ dorm opened and an uncannily familiar yet strange face peaked through. Silvery grey eyes met Sirius’s own and for a split second, there was pure joy in them before they shifted to panic. To hurt and anger and Sirius disapparated with a pop.

…

He appeared at the end of the tunnels beneath the shrieking shack. Sirius stood there, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he processed everything that had just happened. He had nearly gotten Remus killed, then prevented it thank the pagan gods. He had nearly been caught in the Slytherin boys’ dorm. He had heard someone talking about having a crush on James – though that wasn’t anything new to be perfectly honest – however it was apparently James’ potions partner who he himself seemed rather curious about. And then there was the boy who opened the door. He had Sirius’ eyes. Estrella’s eyes.

Sirius hadn’t seen his sister since he left home halfway through last year. Walburga had pulled her from school as if she feared Sirius would taint her with his ideals, would persuade her to run away too. She hadn’t been entirely wrong, in fact, Sirius had tried to take her with the night he left but Kreacher had threatened to call Orion if he tried to take Estrella out into the world without a plan for her safety. Perhaps the house elf had been right to do that.

Sirius had heard rumours of Estrella being sent to Beauxbatons which had made sense, his mother had always wanted to send her there anyway. French, all girls, proper. It was a pureblood dream.

The boy had been so familiar. Yet Sirius couldn’t place him. Angular cheekbones, inky hair, slatey eyes, everything about him screamed pureblood, Black family descendant. But Sirius knew all his cousins. Even the ones who had ‘defected’ from the traditional ways, like his dear Andromeda. He would ask Andy about it, Sirius decided.

Before he could continue dwelling on it, a pained howl echoed through the shack and Sirius was reminded of his duty to his Moony. His Moony? Where had that come from?

Sirius decided to chalk it up to stress causing wires in his brain to cross and hurried up the unsteady staircase into the shack.

He burst into Moony’s room as moonlight broke through the clouds and slanted through a split in one of the wooden slats, cutting directly across Remus’s face. Remus’s eyes shot to him,

“Sirius.” He whispered and then his pupil dilated until it swallowed the iris entirely before constricting again leaving it a shining silver. A whine tore from his throat as the shift took over his body.

It was awful, watching as Remus’ bones broke and grew and reshaped themselves into a new form. His back arched, his skull elongated into a snout, teeth growing into canine fangs. Ears became pointed and silky grey fur blanketed his skin. His hands compressed into paws and all the while he howled in agony. Sirius turned away, his stomach knotting painfully. He wished there was something he could do for Remus but all he could do was watch, the knowledge that this was permanent, incurable, something Remus would know all his life carved itself into his bones.

It fell silent, the room was almost peaceful for a moment. Sirius turned as a hoof clopped on the rickety flooring, James and Peter had already changed. Behind him, Remus – no, Moony – watched quietly. Sirius knew he should change but he felt frozen, watching Moony watch him.

Werewolves were naturally aggressive towards humans. It was a well-documented fact. Sirius was being stupid and yet… Moony hadn’t attacked him. He just watched.

Sirius took a step forward, stretching out a hand hesitantly, palm open towards the muzzle of the werewolf.

Prongs let out a nervous snort, stomping his hooves. Wormtail was perched between his antlers watching the interaction very intently.

He took another step, hand hovering about two inches from Moony’s head. What was he doing? This was stupid. He was gonna get himself killed. This was so damn stupid. This was-

Moony pushed forward, shoving his snout into Sirius’ chest, pressing his neck against Sirius’ open palm. A giggle broke from Sirius’ lips as Moony let out a grumbling sound something like a purr. The werewolf’s hot breath stirred Sirius’ hair, and he curled his hand to scratch behind Moony’s ears, the fur far softer than it looked.

“Oh, my darling Moony.” Sirius chuckled.

Wormtail let out a squeak and Prongs pranced impatiently so Sirius sighed and took a step back to shift. Suddenly he was shorter than Moony, looking up at the glorious wolf in the moonlight with far sharper eyes. That was something he would never dislike about being Padfoot. His vision was so much clearer. He could see Remus so much more.

Padfoot barked and Moony lunged at him, bowling him over across the floor, play tackling. Snapping jaws and scratching paws never actually making contact.

Prongs huffed, guiding the two canines out of the shack and tilting his antlers towards the Forbidden Forest. They went tumbling down the hill in a mess of fur.

…

The night was long and joyous despite the circumstances, and Remus even emerged with barely any new wounds – barring the one from Padfoot managing to get a light nip on his neck in their play fight. When Remus saw it in the hospital wing mirror the next morning, he smiled slightly and Sirius chose not to think about what that meant because otherwise his foolish, hopeful, delusional mind would tell him to do it again.

Chapter Text

The day after the full moon Remus was already back, limping into the Great Hall at breakfast, shadows under his eyes but a grin on his face as he flopped down into his seat, burying his face in Sirius’ neck. Sirius, who had been struggling to keep his eyes open with the goal of being awake when Remus arrived, tucked his head under Remus’ chin, baring the other side of his throat. He tucked his legs up onto the bench and closed his eyes, drifting back to sleep almost immediately. James and Peter snickered but Remus just shot them a stern look. Don’t say a fucking word.

The girls all cooed quietly over Sirius when they arrived five minutes later but no one risked saying a damn word for fear of facing Remus’s wrath. Once again, conversation shifted to the upcoming Quidditch match. It was only a week or so away now. James and Marlene were debating techniques and strategy while Mary and Lily were off in their own world talking about some new poetry column in the Daily Prophet.

“I would adore to see my name in the poetry column.” Lily sighed wistfully then turned to a grinning James, “Don’t you dare.”

“Never Lily darling. Alas, I myself am not a poet and while Sirius may write from time to time, his tends to revolve around people with brown eyes instead of your gorgeous emerald.” He laughed and the others burst into raucous laughter too, causing Sirius to shift with a groan.

“Oh, James!” Marlene tapped his arm excitedly, “Did you hear? The slytherins got a new seeker.”

James’ head whipped around to scan the Slytherin table so quickly Remus almost winced, surely that couldn’t be good for his neck.

“What? Who?!”

“Haven’t the faintest clue, he’s some French kid, new this year, I think. Fifth year.” Marlene laughed, “Supposedly he’s got quite the eye, and some of the girls say he’s not too bad on the eyes. If you know what I mean.” She nudged James with her elbow, and he nodded absently still hopelessly scanning as if there would be a large neon sign with an arrow to show him who. Knowing James, Remus wouldn’t be shocked if there was, and the boy had missed it. James was bright sure, he was top of his class in charms, but he was so oblivious that the first time Remus met Euphemia he asked her how many times she had dropped James as a baby.

“Jamie. Apparently, he’s really good, we have to be ready for him. He’s new so we’re gonna use that against him because we have to keep our winning streak.”

At that moment Sirius stirred,

“You commentating again Moony?” He mumbled into Remus’s collar and Remus couldn’t help his adoring smile.

“Don’ fink McGonagall ‘ould be too ‘appy Pads, las’ time I swear she nearly frew me outta’tha booth cuz I was cursin’ t’much n ‘showin’ favouritism’” Remus put air quotes around the statement.

Mary burst out laughing,

“Pre’y sure tha ‘xact words ya said ‘ere ‘look o’er there at tha mas’erful piece’o’work tha’s Sirius Black, ‘is mother may be a cunt bu’ she did one thin’ righ’’”

Sirius roared with laughter as Remus’s face flushed so red James thought he might just melt from embarrassment.

“Ya scored a good sho’ Pads. Tha’s all.” He attempted to explain but Sirius was still laughing. “I think yer awake enough ta sit on yer own now.” He shoved Sirius off his shoulder gently.

“Nooo. No, I’m sorry Rem I’m just imagining my mother’s response if she could have heard it. That’s fucking beautiful it is. Poetry. Maybe we should submit it in the daily prophet.” He smirked. Remus buried his face in Sirius’ shoulder,

“Don’ even think ‘bout it Black.”

The table fell into uproarious laughter once again, getting a couple of dirty looks from some ravenclaws who looked to be studying and more than a few death glares from the Slytherin table – if one thing was certain it was that that was a house of night owls.

…

The post arrived at the same time as the doors to the Great Hall opened once again, allowing a huddle of green-robed students in. James’ attention was torn between searching for his mother’s owl and Regulus Black who was a member of the group of slytherins that just slipped in. Regulus looked over his shoulder and his and James’ eyes caught for a moment. This meant James was not prepared for the large package that landed in front of him, knocking over his glass of orange juice and completely flattening his fried eggs.

Juice went everywhere and Sirius being the drama king he was shrieked, attempting to leap from the table but catching his ankle on the bench and pulling Remus down with him in his attempt to stay upright. For a star Quidditch team, the lot of them really had some issues with coordination. Except Marls. Marlene had been fast enough to save her plate of toast and avoid the spray of juice while also holding up a large empty platter to protect Lily and Mary from the mess. She was a wonder for certain.

James glanced up from the disaster zone in front of him in time to see Regulus cover a laugh which James wished he was close enough to hear. The usually stoic boy’s grey eyes squinted and though James couldn’t see past his hand, something in him knew Regulus’s smile must be beautiful. Something that rare could never be anything but.

“Bloody Merlin James, stop staring longingly at your potions partner and clean up this mess.” Marls huffed, “Quickly! Otherwise, Sirius and Remus might start to wonder why they are so comfortable in that position.”

The pair in question were still sprawled on the ground, Sirius on top of Remus’s chest. He was supporting his weight on his elbows now so as not to crush Remus, though James didn’t think that was likely. Sirius had a slight grin as he stared at Remus. However, Remus’s brows furrowed, and he leaned into Sirius to subtly sniff at him.

“Sirius…” He murmured something to the dark-haired boy whose eyes widened in panic.

Sirius stood suddenly, nearly running from the room, Remus close on his heels.

Chapter Text

“Sirius…” Remus’s tone set off Sirius’s fight or flight response, “Why do you smell like Snape?”

Sirius froze for a split second before his body settled on one option. Flight. As always, when faced with something Sirius feared, he ran.

He bolted from the great hall like a dog with its tail on fire, with no regard for the looks he was getting as he fled. Remus was hot on his heels, Sirius could hear him panting, the exhaustion from the full moon showing as Remus refused to give up. He caught up when Sirius hit the grassy hill in the circle of rune stones, tackling him into the green. He had always been faster than Sirius. The two boys hit the dirt with force, skidding across the grass and leaving green smears on their robes.

“Sirius.” Remus’s voice was low, worried. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Rem.” Sirius was shaking, blinking violently to hold back tears as he tumbled over his words to apologise.

“Sirius. What. Happened.” He had a grip on Sirius’s biceps, holding him steady and looking directly at him. Maintaining the eye contact Sirius was desperately trying to avoid.

“I- Fuck. Remus, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I was angry. I- I just. Shit. I knew it was wrong. That’s why I fixed it but- Oh Merlin I fucked up Remus.”

“Sirius. Please just stop apologising and explain.”

Sirius nodded slowly,

“I- Remus. I swear I didn’t mean to, but I told Snape to come to the Whomping Willow last night.”

Sirius watched the emotions that warred across Remus’s face. Confusion, realisation, horror, betrayal, anger. Fury.

“What. Do you mean?” Remus hissed.

“I- I… It was meant to be a joke. A prank. I didn’t mean to Remus I swear.”

“You didn’t mean it? You could have gotten me expelled! You could have gotten me killed for some stupid prank!” He spat.

For a second Sirius thought Remus would hit him. He deserved it.

Instead, he turned and stormed off. Not another word. Sirius stood still for all of five seconds before he crumpled. Before he collapsed to the dirt. Heart-wrenching sobs wracked his body, his lungs screaming as he felt his heart tear itself from him. He was shaking so badly he thought he might be dying. It hurt. Oh gods what had he done?

…

McGonagall found him there ten minutes later.

“Oh, Sirius.” She sighed, “Mr Lupin told me what happened.”

Sirius sniffled,

“I didn’t mean to.” he sounded small. Scared.

“I know. If you had meant to you wouldn’t have stopped Mr Snape.”

“I’m sorry. He hates me. I’ve ruined it all.”

“Sirius, I don’t think Mr Lupin is physically capable of hating you. He would rather chew off his own fingers. But you broke his trust. It will take time.” McGonagall held Sirius as he sobbed into her shoulder, tears soaking her robes. “Come along Sirius, let’s go somewhere more private.”

She helped him stand on shaky legs and walked him towards the stone halls, offering him a handkerchief to wipe his face.

“Classes have started but I’ve had you excused for the day. Come, sit.” They entered her office, and she placed him down in the plush armchair Sirius had claimed as his own the first time he ended up in her office under very different circumstances. McGonagall offered him a ginger newt biscuit which Sirius gladly accepted as his breathing began to even out. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“I swear I didn’t mean to Minnie. I was just so angry. Two nights ago, we got into an argument and Remus said some stuff that upset me. I- I just. I wanted to ignore it so I thought pranking Snape would help bring the group together. I didn’t think it through properly. Oh, gods I could have gotten him killed.” His voice was soft, horrified and McGonagall reached over to place a hand on his shoulder.

“But you didn’t Sirius. You fixed the situation. I will have to give you detentions as you did endanger a fellow student, but I’ll keep them minimal.” She smiled sadly.

“No, I deserve them, Professor.” He hiccupped.

“Sirius, do you want comfort or space right now?”

“Comfort.” He whispered and she stood, making her way around her desk and sweeping him into her arms, wrapping him in emerald velvet. He buried his face into her shoulder again, her familiar scent comforting in a way his own family had never been. She had been his rock since the very first year. A point of comfort and authority. Someone he trusted when everything went to shit. McGonagall was the first person he contacted when he ran away, just to make sure she knew where he was. He loved Minerva like a mother.

“You’re always welcome in my office Sirius.”

…

Sirius had spent the day flying at the Quidditch pitch with the hopes of getting his mind off of everything. When that hadn’t worked, he had gone to the Black Lake, wading into waist depth and wishing his gods damned excuse of a mother had taught him how to swim. He had tried going to the greenhouses, the owlery, the astronomy tower. Even the dam library.

Nothing had worked so he had returned to the common room at midday to Flootalk with Andromeda. They had remained on call for three hours, catching up, sharing advice and ideas, planning a get together. Talking with Andy had helped. It always did.

At five o’clock, Sirius slipped out of the common room just before the halls flooded with kids heading to common rooms before dinner. He had snuck into the kitchens to snatch a couple of bread rolls and apples and a small package of paper-wrapped meat that the house elves had prepared for him which he tucked into his robes pockets, then crept out.

The moment he made it outside into the cool evening air he shifted, bounding through the tall grass, and heading towards the Forbidden Forest. The sun was setting quickly, and Sirius enjoyed the last rays of its warmth as he ran. He broke through the tree line and continued along the familiar trail to the clearing.

The thestrals yipped excitedly when they spotted him. Sirius shifted back and they swarmed towards him, rubbing bony, velvet-skinned heads against him affectionately. He smiled, stroking them. It was peaceful here.

Sirius had been able to see the thestrals ever since his mother had tortured one of the House elves to death in their garden. It had been awful. High-pitched sounds of agony that a human could never make. His mother casting the cruciatus curse repeatedly. He had hidden Estrella the moment the curses began to fly so she wouldn’t get hit. He had been nine.

His mother had continued cursing the elf and he had tucked himself under the tea table with his sister. A grey head had peaked under the table, soft skin stretched so thin over bone it was almost translucent. Its beaklike mouth had nipped at Sirius’s hand where he still held the crushed remains of a scone and he had opened his palm, allowing the thestral to lick up the crumbs with a quiet giggle as its tongue tickled his hand. He had turned to look at Estrella to see what she thought of the creature, but she was looking through it as if she couldn’t see the beast at all. That was when Sirius realised what it was, what it meant.

Sirius shuddered at the memory, pulling the packaged meat out of his pocket. He clicked at the thestrals, and they followed the instructions he had taught them, shuffling back to allow the buck through. He was the oldest of the herd, quite possibly one of the eldest creatures in the entire forest. Onyx antlers branched from his skull, draped in moss and cobwebs. Impressive was the wrong word for him, the buck was majestic.

Sirius offered him the first and largest piece of meat. For being so mysterious, thestrals had their own culture and traditions and if you didn’t respect them, you may lose a finger or two. The buck sniffed the flesh before snapping it up with a satisfied grumble then nodded, allowing Sirius to offer the next pieces of meat to the foals. Once they had been fed, he offered the other pieces out and they were shared evenly through the herd along with the apples.

Sirius sat against a log to eat his bread rolls with a few scraps of meat that had survived the thestral onslaught. A foal wobbled over to him and flopped down with its head on his lap. It chirped meekly.

“Tsk tsk. Don’t you go trying to mooch off of me little one. Look at you, you’re very well fed thank you.” He chuckled, looking down at the head in his lap which looked back with imploring eyes. He didn’t notice the other foal creeping up behind him to snatch the bun from his hand with a shriek of glee, echoed by the one who had been in his lap moments before, apparently as a decoy. Sirius gave his own screech as he chased after the foals with a laugh.

Chapter Text

When Sirius slipped into the Gryffindor common room that night it was late. Nearly midnight. James was asleep in the plush armchair nearest the smouldering fireplace, head lolled back, glasses still on. Sirius didn’t want to face James’s disappointment right now, but he knew that James’s neck would hurt the next day so he walked over.

“Jamie.” He tapped his shoulder, “James.”

James woke with a quiet yelp.

“Oh thank Merlin you’re back Sirius. I was worried. Marlene said she’d seen you with McGonagall this morning and Remus told me what happened in Charms. I know you didn’t mean to do it, you weren’t punished too badly were you?”

Sirius gulped, fighting back the tears in the face of his best friend’s love.

“I- No. I have detention for a couple weeks but that’s all. I’m really sorry James.”

“I know.” He hugged Sirius to him and Sirius hugged him back so tight he was worried he might lose a few ribs. “Come on Pads, time for bed.”

The two boys crept up to the dorm and climbed into their beds. Remus’s curtains were closed, and Peter was on his back, dead to the world.

“Goodnight Sirius.”

“Night James.”

…

At lunch the next day Remus was sitting further down than usual, not interacting with the group. When Sirius arrived, he stood abruptly and walked out. James winced, watching how Sirius reared back like he’d been slapped and blinked the dampness from his eyes. Lily gave him a pitying look and James could swear Marlene actually shot a death glare at Remus’s receding figure.

“What’s up?” James pasted on a fake grin, trying to lighten the air. Sirius sent him a grateful smile. Mary groaned, flopping her head down onto the table.

“’ve been ‘aving tha mos’ awful nigh’mares. There’s these people in dark cloaks ‘n’ silver skull masks. They keep talkin’ ‘bout some guy called tha dark lord ‘n’ tha win’er solstice. ’s freaky as shi’ ‘n’ I don’ know where th’ ideas are comin’ from.” She complained.

“Oh!” Lily exclaimed, “I might have something that can help with that, Pandora was having similar ones apparently. She said that Lepidolite helps.” Lily withdrew a violet stone from her messenger bag.

“Since when are you friends with the mad Rosier?” Mary asked with a laugh.

“Her name is Pandora and we started talking during my rounds as Prefect.”

“I didn’t know she was a Prefect?”

“Oh, she’s not. She just kept showing up wandering the halls at night and I gave up on taking away house points, to be honest.”

“Ah, so she’s your shadow.” Sirius nodded.

“My what?”

“Yer shadow.” Mary repeated, “Sometimes seers click to’a person ‘n’ they shadow ‘em. Funny she’d click ta you tho, wiv all yer skepticism ‘bout precognition.”

“Actually, I’d say that’s likely exactly the reason why I clicked to Lily.” A melodious voice replied from behind the Lily, and she turned with a smile.

“Panda!”

The light-haired girl smiled dreamily.

“Hi, Lily. Sirius, James. Ah, Marlene, I’ve heard all about you.” Pandora smirked knowingly, offering Peter merely a nod as she turned, “And you must be Mary. Sorry about the dreams, they are rather dreadful, aren’t they?”

Mary nodded in reply, eyes flitting between Lily and Pandora with an odd expression on her face.

“About what you were telling me last night, it will be sorted soon, auras speak Lily. That said, just be aware, Barty and Evan are planning something at the moment, and they won’t tell me what because they know we are friends.” Pandora patted Lily’s shoulder then reached down and unclipped a chain of bells from her waist, “Take these, they help with turmoil.” She offered them to Sirius. “Dorcas likes lavender.” She said to Marlene and turned to go before spinning around quickly, “Oh, and James, don’t freeze.”

Pandora skipped off leaving a cluster of very confused Gryffindors and no context. Lily burst into a fit of giggles, receiving a number of lost looks.

“Okay, what the fuck just happened?” Sirius was sat, wide-eyed, clutching the chain of bells.

“Don’t question it, everything she says proves fruitful eventually.”

“Didn’t seem too keen on me, did she?” Peter asked with an awkward chuckle.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Pete.” James assured, “You probably said something to her in a dream.” He laughed.

Despite Sirius’ bewilderment, he clipped the bells around his waist as he stood. He had always been the superstitious type, James thought it might have something to do with family traditions.

“Well, we’ve gotta head to Quidditch practice guys but enjoy breakfast.”

Sirius, James, and Marlene trailed out of the hall in the direction of the Quidditch pitch. The morning air was misty and cool and the grass was still wet with dew. They arrived to see Frank in a yelling match with the Slytherin Captain, both teams watching in mild disinterest as they debated who had the pitch this morning.

“We booked the pitch MONTHS AGO!” Frank bellowed.

“I really couldn’t care less Longbottom. Slughorn gave us permission yesterday afternoon. It’s ours.” Emma Vanity, the Slytherin Captain for the last four years replied.

“Like hell!” Sirius snapped, the bells at his hip tinkling as he strode up to the Slytherin, wand drawn.

“Sirius!” Marlene snapped, “You’ve got enough detentions as is. Plus, McGonagall won’t let this slide.”

Sirius lowered his wand and stepped back. James, ever the pacifist stepped forwards next.

“Okay, so we both have claim to the pitch. We all play better with a little competition right?” He got a few nods, “And there’s only so much drill practicing will prepare you for a real game.”

Both teams were waiting curiously for James to elaborate.

“Oh my god. Get to the point Potter.” A voice from the back of the Slytherin team snapped, the owner of said voice indistinguishable.

“I’m saying we should practice together. Like a mock game. No stakes but we all get to train and it’s a more productive experience anyways.”

There were a number of agreeable grunts.

“Okay, everyone in favour, wand up.” Frank called. A majority of wands rose. “It’s decided.”

James, Sirius, and Marlene headed towards the changing rooms while the other players spread out to start some warmup drills.

“Okay change quick, meet back in five.” James said and Marlene nodded and went to split off in the direction of the female change rooms, did a full three sixty and buried her face in her hands, mumbling something unintelligible.

“What?” Sirius asked, trying to pry her hands away from her mouth.

“Dorcas is in there.” She squeaked.

The boys laughed,

“Hurry up then Marls you’re missing out! All alone in the changing rooms with your crush. What an opportunity.” Sirius laughed, slapping her on the back.

“I don’t wanna embarrass myself!”

“Don’t care. Go change Marls, try not to drool.”

Marlene skittered off to the changing rooms, cheeks flaming red.

Chapter Text

When she entered the changing rooms Marlene cringed slightly, the scent of air freshener and about five different brands of perfume did not cover the smell of centuries of sweat and the combination had always been unpleasant. She had asked Professor McGonagall once why they didn’t just clean it magically, to which the professor had explained that the changing rooms were a strictly magic free zone because they couldn’t have magically doping occurring.

Apparently Filch cleaned it every holidays, but Marlene found that hard to believe, especially considering the wad of chewed gum in the back corner of the first stall had been there since before Marlene’s first year. It had become something of ritual for a number of the girls to add to it before a match for luck. It was rather gross if you thought about it too much.

“Disgusting, isn’t it?” the voice was smooth and dark. She whipped around, coming face to face with one Dorcas Meadowes. Her face twisted in disgust as she gazed upon the gum pile.

“Yeah.” Marlene breathed. She was way too close. Marlene had known she was a raging lesbian since fourth year when she had kissed Sirius at a house party and after pulling away her first thought had been that it would have been better if he was a girl. Her and Mary had experimented for a couple months last year before Marlene had realised the focus she held for Dorcas Meadowes was more than just admiration. Since then, the poor girl had pined silently from across the Great Hall to the great amusement of her friends. And now they were standing face to face and Marlene was struggling to think.

“McKinnon? You good?” There was a smirk on the face of the dark-haired girl as her breath fanned across the blonde’s face.

“Marlene.”

“Hmm?”

“Call me Marlene.”

“Marlene” Dorcas repeated in a voice that sent a hoard of ravenous butterflies straight through Marlene’s insides and smirked, leaning closer till her lips were almost brushing Marlene’s own,

“Then call me Dorcas.”

The gryffindor’s knees were weak and she was more focused on not leaning into Meadowes’ mint breath than getting ready so when Sirius hollered from the doorway to hurry up she jumped.

Dorcas was already dressed so she stepped back with a wink and snatched up her broom, exiting the changing rooms with a grin. She passed Sirius with a nod.

Once she was out of earshot Sirius called out to Marlene,

“Is there anyone else in there?”

“No,” Marlene replied in a slightly shaking voice.

“You good?”

“I don’t know?”

“I’m coming in.” Sirius checked if anyone was watching before slipping into the girl’s change rooms. Marlene was standing there fully dressed in her regular uniform. He sighed. “Gay panic?”

She nodded silently. Sirius leaned back against the wall, lips pursed to try and hold back a chuckle that burst forth in a violent fit of laughter.

“Don’t laugh…” Marlene whined, smacking his shoulder. But her own mouth was twisted up in an upside down smile and she began to giggle. “It was so bad Siri. She was standing right in front of me and she told me to call her by her name and I was frozen and she smelled so good!”

“Oh my god.” Sirius shook his head with a laugh, “You’re down so bad.”

“I know.” She sighed.

James called out from the Quidditch pitch, snapping the two idiots back to reality and Marlene hurried to change.

“Woah don’t start stripping in front of me McKinnon, you’ve got a girl!”

“Oh, shut up. It’s nothing you haven’t already seen.” Sirius screwed up his face at the reminder of their awkward few weeks of dating and shitty hookups from the end last year. It had been a poor attempt at convincing herself she could ever like guys.

Marlene grabbed her beater’s bat, twirling it in her hand. The two beaters walked out onto the damp pitch, brooms in hand. The sun had just started to break through the morning mist, bathing the grassy stadium in a pale gold light. Slytherins were flitting around the pitch while a majority of the Gryffindor team were still stretching. James of course was already in the air, winding between the spectator stands at full speed.

Sirius and Marlene settled on the grass to warm up for ten minutes before they took off simultaneously. The two beaters were a chaotic duo that worked in perfect synchronicity, ensuring that if one of their bludgers were dodged, the second wouldn’t be. They were brutal and more than a few times had caused broken bones, earning them a reputation that made younger students scared to play against them. They also threw the wildest aftergame parties.

“Alright! Alright!” Vanity called out, “Everyone meet center pitch.”

Players shot from all directions to the centre, landing in a circle surrounding their two captains. Gryffindors to one side. Slytherins to the other. James and Emma Vanity shook hands, and then each of them grabbed a handle of the Quidditch ball box, opening it and setting them free. James began to count down and upon reaching one all player kicked off.

The game began.

Chapter Text

Undercover Martin- Two Door Cinema Club

James loved Quidditch. He enjoyed the adrenaline rush and the wind in his hair but most of all he loved the chase. A fact that – as had been pointed out to him a number of times – bled into his personality in average life. There was a reason he had been both the youngest and best seeker in the last thousand years since Merlin. James had been recruited for the Gryffindor Quidditch team since his first flying class. McGonagall had seen that spark in him, that natural instinct to be constantly moving and had decided to screw the rules. Even now, four years later she would make comments on how ridiculously fast he could fly, and James would grin.

At the very end of last year’s quidditch season, Frank Longbottom had approached James with an offer. Explaining that he intended to work on his studies more during his final year he offered James a place as Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, a role James had had his eye on for years. James had nearly screamed with joy.

James had to pay attention to some of the younger students this year so he knew who to pass the title on to at the end of next year when he finally graduated. He was so focused on watching the other players competing that he almost copped a bludger to the head. Sirius managed to redirect it with a violent swing, sending it spiraling for the Slytherin keeper.

“Thanks mate.” James high fived Sirius as he flew past.

“Keep your eyes out for the snitch you idiot.” Sirius replied with a grin.

James scanned the pitch but saw no golden flashes. His eyes caught on someone else. Regulus. The pretty boy from potions class. He played Quidditch. Of course he did, he was perfect. James decided to float his way over while he waited for the snitch to make an appearance.

“Sooo…” James said sidling closer, “You play Quidditch?”

“Great deduction skills Sherlock.” His voice was tense but not cruel, just rather distracted like he was waiting for something. Exactly ‘what’ became clear only a second later when he shot off into the air at a ninety-degree angle and James read the back of his jersey. Printed in large silver text that contrasted the green background was the number seven beneath the title ‘Seeker’.

“Shit.” James took a second to process everything then went speeding off to catch Regulus and by extension, the golden snitch.

…

Regulus was fast. He had seen the snitch, and his brain had put blinkers on automatically. It prevented distraction. It also prevented him from seeing the bludger flying directly at his head, or James Potter barrelling toward him from the right, placing himself directly between Regulus and the ball that seemed intent on killing him.

Sirius let out a yelp when he glanced over and saw the bludger heading towards James, James let out a yell when the bludger connected with his ribs, and his ribs gave a disgusting crunch noise when they broke. Regulus turned to his right in horror. James’ altitude dropped slightly as he grabbed his side with one hand, but his face twisted in determination, and he leaned forward on his broom. James Potter, the idiot that he was, decided to catch the snitch regardless of his obvious broken ribs.

Sometimes James wondered if he should have been in Slytherin, his ambition fuelled by his bravery and vice versa. Maybe it was all just stubbornness. Fuck his ribs hurt.

Regulus was mildly concerned by the idiot Gryffindor, putting victory above his own health. And yet, there was something intriguing about it, something familiar. He shook his head. If James was going to keep competing, so would he.

The two boys flew neck and neck, trading places for first. The snitch was just in reach. Regulus outstretched his fingers, fingertips brushing the wings. It flitted away, tucking its metallic wings and dropping vertically before spreading them again, weaving between the beams and pillars under the spectator stands. Both boys head into a nosedive, pulling out just before they hit the ground and flying directly into the maze of wood.

James groaned as he made a sharp manoeuvre to avoid crashing into a solid beam. Regulus found his usual ability to shutter out anything aside from the snitch faltering as James began to slow. He turned as James began to waver. It was getting harder for James to breathe, and the lack of oxygen was making him dizzy—black spots appearing in his already hazy vision.

“Godric’s flaming ball sack I think I’m about to pass out,” James murmured to himself as the dark world around him began to sway.

“Pour l’amour de la merde Potter.” Regulus rolled his eyes. He swept down and grabbed James by the arm, “Let’s go. Don’t you dare pass out on me.”

“What about the snitch?” James mumbled, head fuzzy.

“Mon Dieu.”

“I like it when you speak French. It’s pretty.” James smiled.

“Oh shut it Potter.” Regulus snapped and he definitely wasn’t blushing as he led James’ broom from under the stands, a hand on James’ shoulder to stop him from tipping off. “Someone call for Madame Pomfrey. This idiot decided to try and keep flying with broken ribs.” Regulus called and Sirius and Marlene came rushing over, “Fucking Gryffindors.” He huffed, leaving James in their care.

…

Remus was met with a wall of red and gold the second he shuffled into the hospital wing. Lily was at his side and she hurried over to Marlene.

“Is he okay?” The concern in her voice was palpable.

“Yeah, Madame Pomfrey says James will be fine he’s just a fuckin’ idiot.” Marlene rolled her eyes with a weak grin but Remus could see the toll worry had taken on her.

“Come on hun, let’s go have a rest.” Lily wrapped an arm around her and led her out. “Remus and Sirius can handle everything.”

Lily and Marlene disappeared into the hallway just as Madame Pomfrey came back into the main wing to usher out a majority of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She smiled at Remus and left Sirius where he was, in a seat as close to James as he could get without literally climbing onto the bed beside him.

Sirius looked up with wet eyes that widened when they landed upon Remus.

“Oh I- I can leave.” He began to stand, gathering his things, “Sorry, I’ll… I’ll go.” He sounded tired. Defeated.

“Sirius!” He looked so small. Remus couldn’t do it to him, as hurt as he was he still cared about Sirius. “You can stay. I won’t make you leave him. He’s your best friend too.”

Sirius seemed to droop,

“Thank you, Remus.”

He dropped his stuff again and this time climbed onto the bed beside James, curling into his side quietly. He looked younger, like the time in second year when he spent the first few days of the school year curled in a too big bed unmoving.

Remus slumped down in the chair Sirius had vacated. The two boys drifted off beside their already unconscious friend. The opposing sides of a battle come together in a ceasefire.

Chapter Text

James woke in the hospital wing alone. He blinked bleary eyes against the bright lights and groaned slightly as he shifted onto his side to grab his glasses. Madame Pomfrey noticed he was awake and bustled over, tittering at him for his foolishness in the Quidditch game.

“I mean goodness Potter! It wasn’t even a real match!” She shook her head with a bemused smile but let out a small chuckle.

“How long have I been in here?”

“Two days since Wednesday. You have missed breakfast Potter but for the most part I’ve just been magically keeping up your nutrients requirements. It would be good to eat some actual food dear.” Pomfrey explained.

“Okay. I could kill for some bacon right now.” James laughed, pushing the glasses onto his face and Pomfrey summoned a house elf to give his order. “What time is it Madame Pomfrey?”

He looked over to his bedside table for a clock, but it was buried beneath numerous gifts and get-well notes. He could see books and chocolates from Remus, several other treats from Peter’s stash, Sirius had left his favourite ball (something he treasured dearly as Padfoot) along with messages and flowers from some of the girls and the rest of the team. There was even a note in a scrawling hand he didn’t recognise which he reached for as the house elf returned with a pop and the scent of breakfast.

“It’s eleven o’clock in the morning dear. Friday classes are on but Minerva- uhh, Professor McGonagall ensured you were excused from classes until the end of the week.”

“Eleven?! Shit- uh sorry. Dammit.” James stood quickly, balancing himself through a moment of dizziness before pulling on his robes over the random band shirt and cargo pants he was wearing. He grabbed Sirius’ ball, tucking it into his pocket to ensure it wouldn’t get lost. “I’ve gotta go! I have potions.”

“Potter. I just said you’re excused from all classes this week dear.”

“But I have potions! I have to go Pomfrey. You don’t understand.”

“At least eat your breakfast first Potter.”

“No time I’ll take it with me.”

He grabbed the plate and ran.

…

The hallway were empty, and James swung around corners at dangerous speeds before reaching the staircases. He ended up on one just as it began to shift and had to stutter to a very sudden halt before he went tumbling off the end into the maze of swinging stairs below. As he waited for the staircase to settle, he looked down at his plate to see that all that remained on what was once a plate piled high with food was two rashers of bacon and half a fried egg. It would seem the rest had toppled off at some point during his sprint. James winced, feeling bad for the person who would have to clean that. He shoved the food into his mouth just as the staircase stopped and set off at a quick jog this time, ducking around the corner and ending up in front of the potions classroom.

This was stupid. He should be in the hospital wing recovery still but for some reason, he was determined to see Regulus in class, after all, he’d already left him alone on their Wednesday class, he didn’t want to be rude.

James swallowed down the food, drew his wand, and cleaned the plate which he tucked into an alcove that he was sure he’d remember to grab it from on the way out. He then fixed his hair, straightened his glasses, and used a quick spell to unrumple his robes. James rolled his shoulders back, ignoring the twinge in his side, and pasted a smile on his face before opening the door and walking in, just as Slughorn was adding an ingredient to some boiling cauldron at the front of the class. He looked up at James’ entry, went to smile and greet him and his hand slipped, adding the entire jar of what looked like insect wings. The cauldron gave a high-pitched whistle and Slughorn had barely a moment to look down in horror before it blew up in his face with a puff of soot and heat James could feel from the other side of the classroom.

A couple students closest to him yelped, shrinking back from the scorching heat, the others burst into giggles. A few heads turned to see who had caused the distraction, Marlene and Lily let out twin whoops of joy at his return, leaping up to hug him. James smiled at them, but his focus was caught by the silvery eyes squinting at him from his desk. He leaned back from the onslaught of affection from the girls and placed a smacking kiss on each of their cheeks before walking over to his desk with a grin.

“Hi Reggie darling.” His tone was teasing and Regulus tensed for a second, his face flushing furiously before he turned quickly, studiously examining his notes.

“Potter.” He muttered.

“Would you like a smooch too?”

“Put your oh-so-brave Gryffindor lips anywhere near me and so help me Salazar, I will cut them off.” Regulus hissed and James laughed.

“You wound me Reggie, I came to class specifically for you today. Madame Pomfrey is gonna have my head, but I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you lonely for yet another class.” In all honesty, James hadn’t entered the classroom with the intent of being so truthful, but he could never help himself. Oversharing was in his nature. He was desperate for a topic of conversation, so much so that he would bare his soul for a cheap joke. It seemed Regulus was quite the opposite, preferring silence and secrecy.

“What a shame, I rather enjoyed the solitude. The peace, if you will.”

Before James could reply, Slughorn welcomed him back to the class. Having cleaned the soot from his face, the absence of his eyebrows was now far more obvious. James shot a grin across the classroom to Marlene and Regulus rolled his eyes at the two.

“Thank you, Professor. I will aspire not to miss any more of your classes. However, I make no promises as there is a chance Pomfrey will skin me for sprinting out of the Hospital Wing to make it to this class.” Regulus rolled his eyes at James’ declaration but deep inside his stomach there was a fluttering feeling. What if James had meant what he said about running to get here just to see him? He knew it was ridiculous but the warmth in his gut persisted like the burn of a stab wound but rather pleasant.

As Slughorn continued with the lesson Regulus found himself watching James. He was actually really smart despite what most people said. Just because his intelligence sat outside their realm of ‘normal’ he was deemed as stupid but he had some of the most creative solutions to issues. For example, they were brewing the Draught of Living Death, a rather complicated brew with some difficult ingredients. Reading the potion book, the instructions were to cut the sopophorous bean, a task that was proving exceedingly difficult so James had flipped the knife on its side and placed the flat of the blade upon the beans to crush them instead.

“Where did you get the idea of that from?” Regulus queried, writing down a note in his book.

“Oh I cook with my mum a lot. It’s a technique that makes it easier to peel garlic but I thought it might work for this.” James murmured with a pleased little smile and Regulus felt an urge in him to kiss it. What was going on? James Potter, blood traitor, brother stealer, was giving him cooking tips and all Regulus Arcturus Black could think about was how he wanted to kiss the man stupid. Marlen, he really needed to get laid.

“Can anybody tell me the use for a Draught of Living Death?” Slughorn asked, turning to flick his wand at the chalk so it would write across the board.

James head turned towards Lily Evans and Regulus’ heart clenched. Why did he always look at her? It was like he thought the rest of the class was too damn stupid to actually answer. He glanced over at the redhead whose hand had shot into the air immediately. Whatever, Regulus could answer such a simple question just as easily. He raised his hand lazily, like a cat. Slughorn gazed over the class and found himself faced with only two hands, he sighed.

“Come on guys, it’s basically in the name.” he shook his head, “Regulus?”

“It is an extremely powerful sleeping draught that sends the drinker into a death-like slumber, almost like suspended animation. It is concocted from a mix of powdered root of asphodel and an infusion of wormwood as well as sloth’s brain and sopophorous bean.” Regulus answered with a smug glance over at Evans. That would teach the muggleborn witch. Holy gods. No. He sounded like his mother.

“Very good son, a textbook answer.”

James turned to him with a smile. Oh gods, James was smiling at him. James was smiling at him. Who cared if he sounded like a know-it-all, who cared if in his head he sounded like his mother? James was smiling at him. James didn’t know the awful things that had gone through his head but that was okay. He didn’t need to.

Chapter Text

Regulus found himself leaning against the wall opposite the Slytherin common room with Dorcas that night, waiting for Barty and Evan to get their tongues out of each other’s throats and their asses into gear. The two denied any romantic feelings for each other, claiming they were just fuck buddies but even a blind man could see that was a blatant lie. Dorcas sat in an alcove in the wall beside him, filing her nails.

“So Reg, what’s going on with you and Potter?” She asked, holding up her nails to admire her handiwork.

“What on earth are you talking about? Potter is smitten for Evans, and I have better things to be doing.”

“Ah, so you admit you want to do him.” She smirked and Regulus spluttered, face flushing bright pink,

“You know that’s not how I meant that!”

“Anyways Reggie, he’s been over Evans since fourth grade. Apparently, he swings either way now.”

Before Regulus could reply, Barty and Evan came tumbling out the door to the dungeons, laughing. Love bites marring their necks and a few literal bite marks cut into Evan’s collarbones. Regulus winced at the painful looking marks, but Barty reached up to press his thumb into one and Evan’s eyes fluttered in pleasure.

“Okay!! Let’s not fuck in the hallway Barty.” Dorcas said with a laugh, “Plus we were just busy talking about Regulus love life. He thinks Potter is still hung up on Evans.”

Barty’s laugh was violent, “Hold up, Potter like James Potter? Potter is pan as fuck, speaking from experience. Plus, Evans is too busy making heart eyes at Macdonald to bother with him.”

Regulus head spun nearly a full one eighty degrees to stare at Barty, “Speaking from experience?” His voice was deathly quiet, but Barty didn’t seem to notice.

“Yeah, we fucked a couple times last year. He is one hell of a lay, but we cut it off because he catches feelings too easily and didn’t want to complicate things between Evan and I. Cause that makes any sense.” Barty scoffed and Dorcas and Regulus shared a look, noticing the tight-lipped look on Evan’s now sombre face.

“We’ve gotta hurry, Pandora is waiting for us outside the Great Hall because some of the Slytherins get pushy when she’s there by herself.”

“Panda’s back?” Dorcas asked, the blonde girl had been missing for the last few days. The four Slytherins had placed bets on where she’d been. Barty thought the Forbidden Forest, Evan had taken a guess at one of the greenhouses, Regulus said the observatory and Dorcas just bet she was wondering the school aimlessly and the castle had hidden her. The four had learned a long time ago that there was no point finding her until she wanted to be found.

“Yeah, she sent a parchment owl with a note.”

“I literally can’t wait to see her, spending all my time with you emotionally repressed boys has been rather suffocating.” They’d reached the entrance to the great hall and Pandora made her presence known at that moment,

“I hardly think you’re one to talk about emotional repression Cas. I spoke to Marlene the other day; I can see why you’re so fond of her. Quite pretty, isn’t she?”

“Panda, I swear to Salazar do not try me.” Dorcas ground out but Pandora just flashed her a wink and skipped off into the Great Hall. The boys all laughed, clapping Dorcas on the back and Regulus grasped her hand to drag her with.

They were a chaotic group, four Slytherins and a seer Ravenclaw. Barty was a psychopath, Evan was French, Regulus was gay… well they all were but that was beside the point. They were family.

…

When the dinner appeared before them everyone began to dig in, but Regulus was too busy staring across the hall at the red and gold of Gryffindor table.

“I reckon we’d look stunning in red,” Evan nudged him with a grin and Barty slung his arms over both their shoulders, shoving his head between them,

“If by ‘in red’ you mean in Potter.” Regulus shot Barty a glare, but he just laughed, “I’m just saying Reg, if you really loved us you’d share.”

“Come on Reg you should eat, you can stare later.” Pandora said, pushing a full plate in front of him. It was meticulously picked and sorted so it only contained foods Regulus would eat, and nothing touched. Even his gravy was in a separate dish. Regulus smiled. It was things like this that reminded him that he was loved.

He dug into the meal before him, but he wasn’t tasting it. He saw James wrap up a serving of dinner in a napkin and knew it was for Remus who hadn’t been present at meals the last few days. Regulus knew there was something wrong between him and Sirius – the two boys were usually all over each other – but when Remus wasn’t in the mood to talk, he was impossible to find, much like Pandora. Remus wondered if it was just a skill of magically contrary people, seers, werewolves, the like. Maybe not, considering Regulus had always had much the same skill. Remus would reappear if he wanted to talk though.

Nothing of much interest occurred throughout dinner aside from the full platter of garlic bread Dorcas sent flying at Pandora and Barty after they wouldn’t shut up about Marlene McKinnon. It caused quite the ruckus, leading the entire hall to look over at the Slytherin table. This caused Dorcas to thank whatever gods were responsible for her darker skin that made her blush unnoticeable and Regulus to curse those very same gods for his delicate, pale complexion that turned scarlet under the attention. He snatched a fallen roll of garlic bread and walked out of the hall without a word, seeking some peace and quiet before curfew.

…

The rest of the castle was silent with everyone at dinner, he could still hear the comforting sound of chatter from the hall, but the air was cool and empty. Regulus wandered the halls, pulling chunks from his bread roll and eating it. He turned a corner into a path that opened out to a circle of large runestones. At the entrance, a figure stood in the pale moonlight. Remus appeared taller, thinner in this light. Almost ethereal, like he was actually made of moonbeams, and they shone through his scars.

Regulus walked forwards quietly but Remus twitched and he knew that somehow, despite his feet being completely silent, Remus had heard him.

“Fuck off Sirius.” Remus muttered and Regulus paused.

“It’s uh… it’s me, Regulus.”

“Oh. You… you have the same footsteps.” Something in Regulus chest stuttered at that, but he didn’t know if it was fear or something else, something like relief. Something about Remus made Regulus feel he could trust him. He’d always watched the older boy with a sort of admiration. He summoned all of his bravery in that moment,

“Yeah,” he laughed nervously, “That uh- that tends to happen when you grow up in the same gods awful house.”

Remus turned at that. “

“You grew up together?”

“Yeah. I don’t know if Sirius has ever talked about his little sister but…”

Remus’ eyes widened just slightly,

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

This was utterly nerve wracking. What if Regulus had just fucked everything up? Shit this could have been an awful idea.

“That’s- well- that’s certainly something. What was he like when he was younger?”

All the tension in Regulus’ body leached out and he found himself smiling softly. Remus didn’t care, he wasn’t acting differently. It was okay.

“Sirius was as he’s always been, I think. Not even the cruelty of our parents or the darkness of Grimmauld Place could suffocate his spark. Where I learned to dim myself, so I didn’t draw attention, Sirius just shone bright enough to blind people. He was my big brother. My protector.”

Remus smiled at that like he could picture it as he turned back to look up at the stars. He lowered himself to the stone steps and patted the spot beside him. Regulus moved forwards to sit beside him.

“Please don’t tell Sirius about me. I’m not ready yet.”

“Okay,” Remus agreed softly, “If it helps, I can tell you a secret of my own?”

Regulus could hear the tension in his voice,

“You don’t have to.”

“No. I know that. But I think I want to.” Regulus nodded and Remus took a deep breath, “I’m a werewolf.”

Regulus glanced down at the scars that littered his arms,

“So the scars?”

“Yes.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how long?”

“Since I was four. It was a random attack but it makes life hell. If anyone were to find out- well I’m sure you can imagine.”

“I’m sorry.” Usually those words pissed Remus off but there was no pity in regulus voice just empathy, “I may not be a werewolf but I know what it’s like to fear for your life just by being yourself.”

The two boys shared a look of understanding.

“Can you show me Sirius’s constellation? I’ve been really mad at him lately cause he did something awful but I miss him now.”

Regulus pointed up at the blanket of stars,

“It’s that one right there, the brightest one.” Remus laughed. Regulus continued, “Sirius will not forgive himself, it’s not in his nature to forgive.”

“I don’t want him to hate himself Regulus. I don’t hate him.” Remus replied, strain in his voice. Regulus recognised it from all the times he’d heard Evan and Barty when they were in a spat. Sirius meant a lot to Remus.

“Then you have to show him that, Lupin.” Regulus stood, patting him on the shoulder. “Think about it. Talk to him.”

He headed back down the hall into the twisting maze of Hogwarts.

“Have a good night, Lupin. Don’t get caught by a prefect on your way back in.”

Regulus disappeared into the castle and Remus was left sitting, looking up at the stars and the moon that smiled down on him with a taunting smile.