Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ezra had overheard them fighting for a whole week. Shouts behind closed doors. Ezra was surprised to hear Hera's voice match Kanan's volume and confidence. A complete 180 from the rare times she actually talked with him.

"WE CAN'T TRUST HIM."
"I KNOW THAT! BUT WE HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE."
"NO. I WON'T LET YOU-"
"YOU WON'T __LET__ ME?? WHO'S THE SLAVER NOW!"
"I'm sorry. That wasn't what I meant. I don't want to see you get hurt."
Silence hangs heavily. Then, the softest tears to ever fall.
"If you got hurt, and I didn't do anything to prevent it, I would never forgive myself..."
Quiet sniffles. "I know, love. But I can handle myself. I can make my own decisions. You promised you would do that long ago. Remember?"
A tender sigh and gentle chuckles. "Yeah. Yeah I remember."
"Good. I love you, Kanan."
"I love you too, Hera."
"You better. Now, let's go to sleep. We can confirm with Lando tomorrow."
Loving kisses are exchanged. The creak of a bed. And then peaceful silence...

Two days later, Lando Calrissian arrived. Ezra couldn't quite place it, but something about him made him queasy. He repeatedly directed conversation at Kanan, despite Kanan's borderline aggressive reminders that Hera is in charge. Eventually, he complied. Lackluster and missing way too many details to be coherent. Hera asked her questions, only to be brushed off and dismissed.

Oh
That's why he felt queasy. He's a sleemo through and through.

Kanan very nearly punched his lights out, but Hera's firm hand on his wrist stopped him. Albeit just barely.

"Alright. Now just to change your outfit, and we can get started."

Kanan growled protectively.
Hera snapped first. "No. I'm staying in my flight gear. Non negotiable."

Her voice was strong. Steady. Only sign of panic her twitching lekku and the bruising grip on Kanan's wrist.

"Fine. If that's what you require."

Ezra wanted to claw that smug grin off his dirty face.

"I do. If there's nothing else, I'll go fly us to the coordinates you provided."

Lando waves her off. He's lucky Hera dragged Kanan off with her.

"What are you looking at, kid?"

Ezra scowls, fists clenched tight. He relishes the bite of his jagged nails digging into his skin. Jaw set, he prepares to chew the sleemo out.

But suddenly, a heavy fuzzy hand is on his shoulder, holding him back.

"Kid got behavioral issues. Empire rage. Just eager to finish the mission and get back at the Empire. Right kid?"

The almost painful squeeze urges him to agree. "R- right."

"You and me both, kid." Lando smiles wide; Ezra thinks he's gonna be sick.

"Come on. Let's go prepare the cargo hold."

Ezra nods, and the two walk (almost stomp) away.

Safe away in the cargo hold, Zeb is the first to break. He chucks an empty crate against the wall. Then, still not satisfied, wails on it until it's a crumpled lump of bruised durasteel.

"KRIFFING PIRATES."
He kicks the lump. Ezra understands why all the walls down here are extra reinforced. "Treating Hera like that. Why I oughta..."

He trails off, like he realized what he wants to say is inappropriate to expose with present company.

"Why are we even dealing with him? Seems like we all hate him."

Zeb groans, clearly tired and exasperated. "It's... Complicated. We need the money, supplies, whatever it is he's offering. And Hera agreed to it. So we follow."

"But she's gonna get hurt! I don't trust him."

"I don't either. But, we have to trust in her. The best way to show we care is to listen and let her make these decisions."

"But! But she-"

"She is stronger than you or I could ever be. Stronger than Kanan even. She deals with these sleemos every day. She knows how to handle it. Best we can do is support her decisions. Give her that freedom of choice that so many want to take from her."

Ezra nods, sadness and anger taking root deep in his soul.

"Come on. Let's prepare the Phantom."

"Wha- why?"

"Just do it."

Ezra smiles at the return of his grumpiness. Zeb's emotions are sealed again, but he has a deeper understanding of all of them than he ever had before. Even the mysterious Sabine.

After preparing the Phantom, the odd duo head up to the cockpit, just in time to see Hera and Kanan pull away from what was most definitely a kiss. Ezra also thinks he sees her slip something into his hand, but he can't be sure.

Zeb clears his throat. The two lovebirds blush a bit, but don't acknowledge their embrace beyond that. "Phantom's set. And Sleemo is trying to put a hole through the floor with how much he's tapping his foot.

Kanan scowls. Hera sighs and rolls her eyes.

"Let's just get this over with..."

Over the course of the short walk from the cockpit to the docking bay, Ezra watches Hera shrink from confident captain to small and subservient.

"There's our leading lady. About time."

Hera huffs, but otherwise doesn't speak.

"Let's go." Lando grabs her arm and pulls her into him. Ezra can feel that same protective anger flare in all three of them.

The door opens.
Hera turns and signals... Something? With her hand to Kanan. He signals back. And then the door is shut.

The wait is agonizing. Actual torture. Ezra can't stop pacing. Zeb is throwing more things about the cargo hold. And Kanan, Kanan is meditating. Or at least, he's trying to. Even through their fledgling bond, Ezra can feel the rage leaking from behind his shields. Kanan, who never fidgets during meditation, is rocking back and forth, fingers tapping frantically to some lost melody, face twitching and lips curling. For the first time ever, Kanan looks like an absolute nervous wreck.

Just when Ezra is about to check in on him, the door from dock opens. Ezra races down to see Hera. He wants to hug her. To share his care and calm his protective heart. Kanan doesn't move, which absolutely baffles Ezra. And then he reaches the door, and finds out why.

There's lando, two squealing pink pigs, but no Hera.

"WHERE IS SHE??" Ezra's fist clenches tight around his blastsaber.

"The tailh- I mean, Hera? She had to stay behind in order to complete the exchange."

"YOU KRIFFING SL-"

"Enough."

Ezra turns to see Kanan, face cold as stone, glaring at Lando.

"Lando, you got your cargo. Give us the credits you promised, All of them, and then get out."

Ezra can't help but smirk at Lando's panicked gulp.

"R- right. Here's 2000 credits, as promised." He hands over an open case, filled with 2000 shiny credits.

"P- pleasure doing business with you."

Kanan doesn't respond, instead immediately turning and walking back to the cockpit. Ezra glares at the sleemo, happy to see Zeb squeeze his shoulder so hard Lando whimpers and stumbles as he's escorted out.

Moments later, he can hear a ship disengage and blast off. Only then does he allow himself a neede, but still tense breath. Hera is still missing! They have to go-

"Ezra, get up here."

Ezra follows the call and joins Kanan in the cockpit.

"Kanan, what about-"

"We're picking her up now. Keep an eye on that signal. That's where she is."

It isnt where they let her off. It's a few hundred clicks south of it. Slowly drifting more and more south.

"Wha- how? That's not-"

"Tracker chip. We knew this would happen. As soon as Lando left with the cargo, she hopped in an escape pod and got as far away as possible."

Ezra's jaw drops a bit, astounded by their preparedness. "If... If you knew this would happen. Why did you do it?"

"We needed the credits. Hera decided it was worth the risk. And I trust her completely. So, we took the mission."

"What about Lando?"

Kanan growls at the name. "Not the first sleemo, won't be the last. Hopefully, he realizes he's not wanted here and doesn't dare ask again. If he somehow does, then we listen to what Hera says. Follow her decisions."

"But he- he left her! He hurt her!! We can't just let him- let him go without punishment! He-"

"Ezra. We are Jedi. We do not punish. Ever. That thinking leads only to more pain, and more evil."

"But-"

"ENOUGH."

Ezra flinches.
Kanan winces and sighs. Stroking his disheveled hair, Kanan recenters himself.

"I am sorry for yelling. There is a lot you dont understand, and I'll explain in time. But, for right now, you just gotta trust me. Trust Hera."

Ezra swallows hard, but nods in deference. "I understand. Thank you, Kanan."

Kanan offers a small smile. "I'm here for you, Ezra. We all are. You're part of the family now. It's just a bit..."

"Messy?"

Kanan laughs. "Yeah. Yeah it's messy." He tousles Ezra's hair, which Ezra lightheartedly protests.

"Okay. Now, keep the ship here. Don't touch anything. I'm gonna go out and get her. Just... Just stay in the cockpit, ok?"

Ezra, confused but daring to trust, nods his head. "Yes sir."

Kanan smiles, then leaves the boy alone with his thoughts.

Ezra anxiously watches the screen. The green blip of Hera. The grey dot of Kanan. He holds his breath, not daring to relax until Kanan has her back. It's slow and long, but finally, the green blip disappears. The grey dot moves away from where the green was. And moments later, the green returns, melding with the grey. Both blips on their way back to the ship.

Much needed air floods his lungs as Ezra truly breathes deep for the first time since seeing Lando's ugly mug. She's safe. She's coming back. We'll all be together again.

Eager to hug her, he hops out of the copilot's chair and sprints to the door. Slamming face first into Zeb on the other side.

"OW!!"

"Oh you're fine. Now get back in your seat."

"But I wanna-"

"Kanan told you to stay, did he not?"

Karabast. How did he know? "Y- yes..."

"I know we all like to ignore him, but when it comes to Hera, you have to listen to him exactly. Got it?"

He nods, but confusion is splattered all over his face.

Zeb groans, a tad over dramatic. "Look. No one is more protective of Hera than Kanan. And if you don't listen to him, not only will you anger Kanan. You will hurt Hera. Got it?"

The confusion swiftly falls, the gravity of it all sinking in deep. "I understand..." He bites his lip and chews his cheek for a tense couple of moments, before adding a genuine "thank you."

Zeb simply looks down and smiles.

Then, the sound of the Phantom docking crackles through the stale air. Zeb sighs in relief. With a quick sequence of buttons, the tracker screen shifts to a camera. Ezra watches intently, finally able to let the last of his tension go as he sees Hera board the ship. In Kanan's arms...

Concerned, he leans in closer to the camera. She's curled up around him, burying her head into his chest. Her clothes are ripped. Ugly bruises and other marks stain her skin. Her lekku twitch frantically, still on edge and alert, unable to believe she's safe. It's painful. Disheartening. Enraging! Never before has he seen Hera look so... Small.

Looking up at Zeb, seeing the matching protective tears in his eyes, he understands why he had to stay up here. Zeb offers a sympathetic smile, then turns off the camera.

"I'm gonna go grab us some grub. Stay here."

"Got it."

Zeb leaves. He can hear his heavy steps fade down the hall. A door opens. He can feel a burst of rage flash in Kanan, but it disappears just as quick. He imagines there must be some sort of conversation. Because when Zeb is back, he has snacks, drinks, and a new set of coordinates. He programs them in and the Ghost quickly takes off. Jumping to lightspeed, Ezra can't help but gaze out at the ruptering space around them.

"Hey kid, don't look too long. Hurts your head."

Ezra nods, already feeling his eyes aching a bit. He turns his attention to the snacks and grabs one and a drink, chugging the sweet juice instantly. As they fly through hyperspace, Zeb pulls up a game of holochess and proceeds to absolutely annihilate him. Ezra can't help but laugh at his utter decimation. Happiness finally seeps back into his heart.

Chapter Text

Pain. Anger. Disgust. All three swirl and crash about inside Hera with reckless abandon. Every inch of her hurts. But worse than that, there's a sickening heat pooled between her legs.

Flashes of memories assault her mind: Body lighting up in pain and pleasure. Hands all over her. Clothes ripped off and destroyed. Put on display like a slab of meat. Her skin burns from it all. She twists and turns in bed. The warm, squishy, lumpy bed...

All the haze of sleep disappears in an instant. Shooting upright, she whips her head around and scans her surroundings. Familiar grey walls surround her. A worried plea tugs at her heart. Her bond...

Turning around, she spots Kanan, hands raised cautiously above his head. She melts with relief, tackling him immediately.

"It's okay, Hera. It's okay."

She melts even more when he rubs her back. Carefully, he lays them back down, not once letting go of her.

"Do you want to talk about?"

Azmorigan's lust-filled eyes pop into view. She shuts her own eyes tightly and shakes her head, burrowing even deeper into Kanan.

"Okay. That's perfectly okay."

His breathing is slow. Deep. Soothing. She sinks into his rhythm, her heart soon calming down as well. He continues rubbing her back, whispering precious sweet nothings the entire time. She's content to just stay here forever. To fall into something deeper than sleep and escape all of this. Run away with Kanan and never leave his arms again.

"You can rest now, Hera. I got you."

A soft trill rolls out of her. She sinks deeper into his arms. Sleep is close, but she's still holding on. Still worried about needing to serve.

"Do you want praise?"

She smiles warmly. Long ago, they established asking before giving praise. Despite all her training, the simplest phrase of approval still turned her legs to jelly. After their third mission together, the third time Kanan had to carry her out, they discussed what did and did not help. It took everything in her to admit that his praise made it worse. He's been asking first since.

Mind back to the moment, she nods her head against his chest.

"You did such a good job, Hera. I'm so proud of you."

Her trills triple in volume. Body singing with praise from the man she loves, the cloying heat finally subsides into a comfortable warmth. There's the most reverent of kisses to her forehead, before the rumble of his chest pulls her aching body into a peacefull slumber.

***

For the first time in months, well before Ezra joined them, she had a good night's sleep. No sweating. No nightmares. No suddenly reaching out and throwing anything. None of it. And she even feels rested to boot!

Sitting up, she realizes her human pillow is gone. A wave of yearning washes over her; she doesn't fight it off. On the table next to the bunk is a set of clean clothes, a canteen of water, and a note.

Thought I'd let you sleep in. I left one of my shirts for you under your jump suit. Take as long as you need before coming out <3

The yearning inside threatens to swallow her whole. How did she get so lucky?

She lets her mind wander as she pulls on the shirt Kanan left for her and then her orange jump suit. It feels good to be covered again. And to have a piece of Kanan so close to her heart. Drinking the water, she runs over what she's gonna tell Ezra in her mind. It's gonna suck, and she doesn't want to do it, but she has to. She owes it to him. He's been out of the loop for so long...

Head wrap and goggles on, she does one final look over before heading out to face the sea of questions awaiting her.

***

Her heart melts at the sight before her: Kanan rambling about ethics of the Jedi. Zeb absolutely crushing Ezra in holochess. Ezra scowling but all in good fun, pretending to listen to Kanan. Even Sabine is out with them, silently snacking on the couch. She's loathe to interrupt.

Unfortunately, Chopper's whining screams for attention do it for her.

"Hey, keep it quiet." Her voice is chiding, but only barely. She's too happy to be back to be upset. "Some of us have sensitive hearing."

The astromech chirps what is most definitely smuggler curses and slang as he (gently) rams into her. She pats the top of his head with a smile. His chirps turn into something one less familiar with him could believe was safe for children's ears.

Looking up, said child breaks her heart. He's bouncing in place, fidgeting with his hands and looking everywhere but her. She can feel how much he wants to hug her. How much he wants to protect her, take care of her, love her. Who is she to deny him?

"Come here, Ezra."

A second after she opens her arms, Ezra is hugging her: firm, but not tight. It's clear everyone warned him to be gentle. While she doesn't like being babied, it is a relief that the hug is just the right pressure so it doesn't hurt but still feels good.

After a few seconds, she's melting into his arms. Gooey warmth sapping her strength. She winces as her knees go out, leaving Ezra to hold up her entire weight. Before she can even start to form an apology, Kanan is by their side helping her up.

"I- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Did I- did I hurt you?"

Tears well in her eyes. "I'm okay, Ezra. You did nothing wrong."

He nods. It's painfully clear he doesn't believe it.

How can such a small body hold this big of a heart?

"It's about time we told you about... This."

"Uh..." The confusion in his voice is beyond endearing. "You just gestured to all of you?"

Loving laughter fills the room, staving off the threat of tears.

"I did indeed do that." Her voice is still light, even as Kanan more or less carries her to the couch. "It's kinda an all over thing."

Ezra sits across from her, not once looking away. Kanan sits next her, hand entwined with hers. Zeb stays at the table, pretending he's not listening but absolutely is. And Sabine... Is back in her room.

"How much do you know about..." Her mouth is suddenly dry. Kanan squeezes her hand tight. "My species?"

She watches as Ezra fidgets again, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. She doesn't blame him.

"It's okay. You can be blunt. I promise you won't upset me." She levels a quick warning glare at Zeb, and then another at Kanan. "Or anyone else. Say whatever comes to mind, however it comes to mind."

Ezra fidgets some more. She takes a deep breath, preparing for the worst. As the silence goes on, her brain wanders back to what Sabine told her when she finally trusted them enough to speak. Slave. Dependent. Weak. It hurt to hear, but it's nothing she hadn't heard before. It's what she'll hear now—

"Strong. Kind. Capable."

That's... Different. Even Kanan had said servant when they met years ago.

"Go on..." Her instincts yearn for the praise, she knows that. But she also is intrigued by this startling, enticing difference.

"My parents, they uh. They told all kinds of stories about heroic Twi'leks. Saving lives again and again. That no matter what others say about them, they are stronger than any human..."

He shoots her an awkward grin. She nearly cries on the spot.

"S- sorry! That was too much, wasn't it? I didn't mean to upset you!! I'll just- I'll go—"

"No!" She curses the shrill pitch of her voice. "Sorry. No. Don't go." Watery eyes lock on to his. "Stay. Please?"

Her heart soars when he sits back down. She wasn't prepared for this. For such a... Starkly unique answer. A gentle tap from Kanan on the back of her hand brings her back to the moment.

"Right, yes. Sorry." She shakes her head, ignoring the wooshing headache it brings on. "Most people aren't told... That."

The pain in his eyes is palpable. She doesn't risk complimenting his parents. Not right now. Not out loud. She sends a silent thanks to them in her mind. They raised a good kid.

"Twi'lek and Togruta are heavily desired as..." Her chest gets tight. It takes quite a few deep breaths to get her feelings under control. "As slaves." She tries to hide as much of her disgust as she can. Remaining neutral, disconnected, that's the only way she will get through this.

"Yeah. I uh, I remember that from our first meeting." He rubs the back of his neck in the same awkward nervous way Kanan does.

She grimaces a bit, remembering how angry he was when he thought Kanan owned her. "Right. So. Our bodies are... Different. Especially when it comes to praise and... Touch."

She watches his eyes for understanding, to let him catch up and get the gist before continuing. "It's different for everyone, at least slightly. For me I uh, get all wobbly. And from there I... Get distracted."

She doesn't really want to say the full, vulgar truth. Not so soon after being attacked.

"Does that make sense?"

Again, she watches his eyes. Waiting for an answer, for confirmation she's doing this right.

"Yeah. It's like you feel so happy and good that nothing else matters, right?"

Hera smiles and nods. "Yeah! Yeah. That's a good- a great way to put it."

Ezra lights up at the praise. Hera gets a little brighter too.

"Anywhere can cause that Too Happy feeling, but there are a few specific areas that are the strongest."

He watches intently, already mapping out each one. She tries to hide the shaking of her hand as she shows him.

"The front and back of the neck. The face, especially the cheeks. And then there's..." She swallows hard, fighting down all embarrassment. Turning around just enough to show him, she points to her low back. "The small of the back and base of the spine are... Even more sensitive than the neck and face. But the most sensitive—" she turns around again and faces him, "—is the lekku. They are an extension of the brain, so it's extremely easy to do too much."

He stares through her for a long while. She waits for his reply with bated breath. Hera knows she should tell him about the other spots, the "erogenous zones" as humans refer to them. But she's just so tired. Embarrassed. Scared. She'll tell him when he's older. When he's ready.

"I see. Are the spots the same for everyone?"

She exhales harder than intended, relieved he doesn't ask more about her reaction or spots she didn't mention. "For the most part, yes. While the reactions may be different, those spots are almost always a guaranteed trigger. Oh! And for Togruta, the montrals are a major spot too." Her hands do an admittedly awkward gesture over her head, indicating what some call their horns.

He nods along, taking it all to heart.

The silence that follows isn't as tense. It could almost be called tranquil. Kanan ends up being the one who breaks the silence.

"Any other questions, kid?"

She sighs. It's clear this conversation has drained him, too.

"J- just one. Or I guess, one with a lot of parts?"

Hera answers before Kanan can get overprotective. "Ask away."

He nods. "Right. What, what helps you feel... Better? Or less... Wobbly?"

Hera wants to run over and scoop this kid up, never letting him go again. She's grateful for Kanan being there to give an actually coherent answer.

"That's a great question, which you and I can discuss another time."

Okay. As much of an answer a Jedi ever gives.

"But I—"

"Nope. Later. I'll make a list!"

Ezra groans with annoyance. Kanan chuckles with glee. Hera shakes her head with a smile.

"You always know how to liven up a party."

Kanan shoots her what he likes to call The Smolder. "You know it, darling."

A welcome rush of warmth fills her heart. She pats his hand and stands. "Well, darling, I'm gonna go fly us to port. You think you three will be okay without me?"

This time it's Zeb who answers. "Of course! The kid and I still have a game to finish."

If she didn't know better, she'd think Zeb was actually mad. She's about to intervene, when Ezra quips back, "excited to finally lose, are you?"

And so the bickering ensues. As she walks to the cockpit, Kanan follows with her. "Want any company?"

She smiles and holds his hand. "Not right now. But thank you." Gently, she lifts his hand and kisses the back of it. "For everything."

He smiles back, full of love and light. "Any time, darling." He bows and kisses her hand in return, a true Jedi Knight.

He walks away, whistling happily to himself. At least, it was happy, until Zeb chucked a pillow at him for being annoying.

She can't help but smile wide as she takes her place in the captain's chair, Chopper chirping away at her side. She loves her family. It's small and it's broken. But it's good. And she'll protect them all until the end of time.