Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

“Ah… Max?” Charles asked.

Max must look like a fucking crazy person.

He was sitting in a hallway somewhere- Max didn’t even know where. He’d just started walking away from people after he checked his phone after quali. He hadn’t qualified well enough. Third. Behind both Ferrari drivers. But he would still be able to win the race tomorrow.

That should be all he was worried about. Not a voice mail and text from a hospital. Max didn't usually call strange numbers back, but that had been convincing.

Charles was staring at him.

He had missed interviews and everything. A press conference.

He had to get up.

He had to… he had to deal with shit.

How long had it been since it happened? Max didn’t even know.

“My dad died this morning. I didn’t know. He wasn’t here today. He was already dead, I think. On the way to the track.”

“Oh, Max.”

Charles folded to the ground next to Max.

Not quite touching.

“And his wife,” Max added. “The kids are okay. No, they’re not okay, their parents are dead, and I think they were in the car. But they are not hurt. They- were going to watch me race. I need- it’s been hours. I don’t know how many hours. I need to get them.”

“Are they at the hospital? Max, I’m sure they’re okay. Is… is Kelly here?”

That was an obvious question. Kelly would be the obvious choice to handle this.

“We broke up,” Max answered.

The day after his second World Championship was officially his. They were sort of related, but, mostly, Max was difficult to live with. To be with. And Kelly waited to break up with him until he had secured his championship, because she was a nice person. They both knew it hadn't been working for a while. Max thought maybe they could reconnect over the off season. But, maybe not having time together wasn't their problem.

“Do you want… to call your mother?” Charles asked.

“She is probably asleep. And she hates him. For good reason. And I stayed with him.” Charles knew that. The world knew it, but Charles had known it longer.

“We will go to the hospital. I will drive,” Charles announced.

“What?”

“The kids are there?”

“Yeah. I- I’m going to get them.”

“I will drive. We need child seats. Two? I will send someone to get them. What hospital?” Charles asked, typing on his phone. “Is your middle sister with them?”

Charles knew how many siblings Max had. Probably Max had mentioned it before, but it wasn’t something he expected people to know.

“No, she’s- with her mother, probably. It’s just the little two. Two and three years old.”

“The seats will be there,” Charles announced. “Is rear-facing okay for both? It is safest- unless maybe your brother is very tall? Are you ready?”

Red Bull had people who would do this, if Max hadn’t walked away from all of them without saying a word. People who would take care of whatever Max needed. But Charles was doing it.

“They still always have the rear-facing seats.”

His dad had started to complain about how their mother insisted. Saying Max and Victoria never had those. Which… Max was pretty sure they would have existed.

Maybe that had saved the kids.

Max hoped it had also stopped them from seeing…

Max tried to clear the thought.

Charles knew about child seats?

“Do you know the hospital?” Charles asked.

“What?”

“The hospital name? There are many hospitals.”

“I-” He didn’t remember. His phone was still in his hands. “I- they called me. I can call back,” he said.

“Do you want a hug?” Charles asked.

Max wasn’t sure if anyone had ever asked him that before. He had received hugs- lots of hugs- especially when he won races- but no one asked.

Max didn’t say anything, and Charles just stared at him.

“Do you need the toilet before we leave?” Charles asked next. Like Max was a little child. But he was still in his racing suit, and he did need to. More after Charles mentioned it. He didn’t even have a change of clothes unless he went back. Max didn’t even know where the nearest toilet was. He just nodded.

“This way,” Charles directed. “Do you want me to call?”

“I can do it,” Max said, pulling up his recent calls.

Seeing his dad’s number on the screen too.

He wouldn’t pick up if Max called.

Some stranger might.

Or maybe the phone was destroyed.

Surely smartphones were more fragile than people?

But his phone had a case.

“Let me call,” Charles instructed.

They were in front of a door to a toilet.

Max handed over his phone.

Charles led him to a Ferrari. A road car Ferrari. A Roma. It was white. It was a beautiful car, even though Max always thought Ferraris looked better red. When Max had bought a Ferrari, he hadn’t let himself buy a red one though. Too loud, maybe. Max's was black. Max’s was more expensive with a better engine than this one Charles had on loan to drive that week. And Max’s didn’t waste space and weight on the back seat- always big cars in America.

Charles passed Max his phone as they sat down. Max hadn’t thought about being without it.

Max… wasn’t doing a good job of focusing.

He was going to see his baby brother and sister, and he didn’t know what to do.

He’d just followed Charles and kept quiet.

“Do you think they know they are dead?” Max wasn’t sure that sentence even made sense. “Can two and three year olds understand death? Jaxx was only a baby when grandfather died.”

“I do not know if they have been told,” Charles said. Of course he did not know. “But they have to be told in… in clear words. You cannot say ‘went away’ or ‘went to sleep’. They will not understand, and they will be afraid of sleep.” That… that was smart. “They will have to be told many times, I think. They will not understand at first. Especially your sister. There are children’s books about death that might help.”

Probably some kid in Charles’s life had been young when either his father or Jules died. And Charles had cared about them even when he had his own grief.

“I didn’t ask if there was another car,” Max realised. “I don’t know what happened.”

“We will find out. After we get the kids.”

It wasn’t far to the hospital.

That made sense. Probably the crash had been between the hotel and the track, so it was probably at the closest hospital to the track.

Max had traveled separately, because he needed to be early and Red Bull had a car ready to take him.

Charles consulted with his phone and signs on the walls, and led Max around the hospital.

“Hello, I spoke to someone on the phone? I am Charles Leclerc, and we are looking for a little boy and girl who… were in a car accident this morning?”

Max should be the one talking.

It probably took some smooth Leclerc talking to get the information he already got.

“I am Max Verstappen. They are my-”

“Max!”

Max turned to the sound and started going in that direction before he even saw little Jaxx.

“I am here,” Max said, in case that was comforting. “Where is Mila?”

“Mila!” Jaxx shouted instead of answering.

A woman appeared in the direction Jaxx had come from, holding Mila.

Max picked Jaxx up and let him cling. Max needed it too.

“Are you hurt?”

Jaxx shook his head.

“Mila, are you hurt?”

“Max!” Mila declared instead, making grabby hands at him.

Max shifted Jaxx to one side so he would have a free arm.

“They are mine,” he said to the woman when she wasn’t coming close enough. “My- little brother and sister. I will sign whatever I need.”

“I’m Megan Black, from Child Protection Services. I- admit I have not been called to a situation exactly like this. We are very glad you could be reached. Jason was very smart to know your phone number.”

“Jaxx,” Max corrected. “He goes by Jaxx. His second name. He prefers it. Good job knowing my number,” Max added to Jaxx in Dutch. Every Sunday that wasn’t a race day, Max got a call from the kids. And on race weekends, they called on Monday. Usually Max talked to Jaxx and Mila’s mother briefly first- or to his father if his father was with them instead of with Max, but Max now guessed that Jaxx pressed the numbers. Probably it was part of teaching him numbers. The small boy- not as small as he used to be- felt heavy in Max’s arm. “I- I will take them. I will sign whatever you need,” Max repeated. “They are my brother and sister.” Which he had said already, but it hadn’t done anything yet.

“That is good. We always look for next of kin when possible for temporary custody instead of state custody.”

Temporary.

State custody. Just the idea that that would have been an option. However brief.

“Do you have identification for yourself and the kids?” the woman asked.

Fuck.

“I have someone working on it,” Charles said. “Max, is it okay if they go in your hotel rooms?” Charles asked.

“Yes. And my- and their room is connected to mine. My passport is in my room in the front pocket of the smallest rolling bag. Theirs should be in the similar place in the other room.”

His dad had taught him how to pack. They had the same luggage in different colors.

Max normally liked being places where people didn’t recognize him. But, people who recognized him tended to do what he wanted.

“I am the Formula One World Driver Champion- two years in a row. Max Verstappen. You can google me. I am worth a lot of money. I will have lawyers here. My team is Red Bull, and they have lots of lawyers, and I can pay for other lawyers. I have to keep Jaxx and Mila with me.”

“When Jaxx said you drove fastest, I didn’t know what he meant.”

Right, that probably sounded like he was irresponsible, and they were just in a car crash. That killed both their parents. And Max still wasn’t holding Mila yet. She wasn’t struggling in the woman’s arms, wasn’t reaching out for Max anymore, was just being quiet.

“Mila, are you hurt?” Max asked again.

Mila shook her head.

“I can take her,” Max said, holding out his free arm.

“We still need a lot of paperwork before I can let you leave the building. And some signatures well above my pay grade. Why don’t we go in this room over here? Is your friend coming too?”

“Is it alright?” Charles asked. Max wasn’t sure if it was at him or the woman.

“Yes,” Max answered both of them.

They followed the woman who was still holding Mila back where they’d come from. Max hoped there were good chairs. He’d settle for a soft floor. 

It was a plain room. With a table and normal chairs with only a little cushioning.

But at least no one could see. Or take pictures. He hoped that no one in Austin knew who he was, but he was still wearing his race suit.

“Can Mila be with her family?” Charles asked.

“Oh- yes, sorry,” the woman said. Even though she hadn’t responded to Max twice. Maybe it was different when there was another door between them and the exit. The woman handed Mila to Charles, who was clearly startled by that, but accepted Mila. Mila was agreeable to the transition. It wasn’t a weird thing to assume Charles was asking for, especially because Max was already holding a kid. Charles looked to Max when he held Mila.

But with the kids safely secured away from this woman who talked about state custody, Max was thinking about…

“Ah… do I need… to identify the…” he considered spelling it, but the children needed to know if they didn’t already. “bodies?” And maybe they wouldn’t know the English word anyway.

“I can do that,” Charles jumped to offer. “If that is okay?” He was looking at Max, not the lady.

Charles wouldn’t know what Jos’s wife looked like, Max didn’t think.

And maybe Max needed to see. To be sure it was real.

“I can do it,” Max said.

“I- don’t really know how all of that works,” the woman admitted. “I’ll get you someone if you can wait here? We can’t do much with custody without ID. But I can give you some privacy if you don’t leave this room. There is a security guard in the hallway.”

Max had been identified as a flight risk. Or they just had to be really careful of kidnappers. Even though both children clearly knew Max and wanted to be with him. Maybe little kids weren’t the best judges of character. 

People probably said that about Max too. Not the best judge of character. Max knew that some of the shit his dad did was fucked up. But Max also knew that he wouldn’t have changed it anyway, because he got everything he wanted. He had said that enough times.

But, even after he made it to F1, even after he turned eighteen… he hadn’t made his father go away. Not for long.

If his father hadn’t been at the race…

Mila poked Charles in the face.

“Wat is je naam?”

It was what she asked all people- and animals- that she met.

Charles looked at Max for only a moment. “Charles,” he answered. Probably it sounded close enough to ‘What is your name?’ in English that he understood. “Ah… wat is je naam?” Charles repeated back. It didn’t sound that bad. Maybe a little too much like English.

“Mila.”

“Hallo, Mila. Ik spreken nein Nederlands. Sorry.”

It sounded horrible. The wording was awkward, and the pronunciation was far worse. But, at some point Charles probably googled how to say that he didn’t speak every language he thought he might encounter. Which was probably why the media liked him. Besides his face.

“They learn English too,” Max said.

“Interviews are in English,” Jaxx announced. He’d definitely heard that sentence often enough. Max wasn’t sure if he’d spoken any English yet at that age.

But their father had raised one Formula One World Champion. Sometimes he talked like he would raise another. Used to talk. Maybe Max heard about it less once his dad started racing more again himself. Something else to take up his time. But, Jaxx did have a kart. Max hadn’t had a kart at three years old. But there hadn’t been as much money around either. They had had enough. Plenty. But karting was expensive, and Max had had to show he was serious on rentals first. Even that hadn’t been until he was four.

It had gotten more serious after his father wasn’t a Formula One driver anymore.

“That is very impressive,” Charles praised, looking between the kids.

Mila placed her little hand over Charles’s mouth.

“No more talking for me?” Charles asked through it, glancing to Max.

“She likes to play with facial hair,” Max explained instead. Maybe it was because their father never kept any, so it was still a novelty. She would play with Max’s face when he had it.

She brushed her hand around Charles’s mouth before she was distracted elsewhere.

“Paard,” Mila declared, grasping the logo on Charles’s polo.

“What does that mean?” Charles asked, still looking at Mila, asking her.

“Mila, do you know in English?” Max asked her.

“Pony!” Mila exclaimed.

Max laughed. She was sort of right. Pony was pony in English and Dutch. And Max could not really say the differences between ponies and horses.

Oh.

He had laughed.

He would not let them see him turn upset for laughing.

It was okay to laugh.

“Yes, you like the pretty pony.”

Mila reached back to Charles’s face, patting his cheek. “Pretty,” she declared.

Oh.

She was two years old. She was probably just repeating a word and wanted to touch Charles’s face again. Right?.

Charles smiled. “Thank you,” he said. “You are pretty too. You have pretty eyes. I learned that in German, but I do not know the Dutch.”

“Why did you learn that?” Max asked.

“Seb taught it to me.”

“What?”

“For a youtube video. German lessons. It was not on the list, but Seb added it. So, of course it is what I remember best.”

Max almost never watched any of those videos.

The only Seb and Charles video that Max knew he’d watched was the one with guessing which driver they were talking about with yes or no answers. And Seb had asked if Charles’s secret driver was pretty. If Max was pretty. Charles had looked, and then laughed, and then said, ‘I don’t know. I’m a man.’ It made Max wonder if Vettel was less than straight, but Charles clearly wasn’t.

“Say it,” Max said. Because it would be amusing to hear Charles speak German.

“Du hast schöne Augen.”

Oh.

It was plenty good enough pronunciation that Max knew what Charles was saying.

It was totally unrelated but reminded him that next in that other stupid video with Seb, both Seb and Charles had known Max didn’t have brown eyes, even though Max didn’t think anyone could tell from the tiny picture.

Max knew that his eyes were the feature he got the most compliments on. Even if some people thought they were too far apart.

“In Dutch, someone could say, ‘Je hebt schone ogen’ which… sounds similar? But they would probably say ‘Je hebt mooie ogen,’ which sounds different.”

Charles tried to repeat ‘Je hebt mooie ogen,’ so seriously, and it was so terrible that Max laughed.

Charles smiled back.

Usually Charles wouldn’t want to be laughed at, but he was being nice.

Because Max’s dad died.

Fuck.

Fuck.

“Did you win?” Jaxx asked.

It took a moment to understand what he was saying, even though Max had come directly from the track, and was still walking around in his race suit.

“It was only qualifying. The race is tomorrow.”

Jaxx nodded.

Their passports would be enough to prove he was their brother, wouldn’t it?

It was good that they shared a last name.

Max didn’t think he had any pictures on his phone of them together.

He was sure Sandy had taken some, but she didn’t have Instagram.

Max pulled out his phone to check his dad’s.

The most recent pictures was an official picture celebrating Max’s championship.

The second was when Max was young. Maybe Jaxx’s age.

Pictures of his dad racing again. Pictures of Max racing. Finally some of the younger kids. That would have to be enough. But none of Max with them.

Max didn’t see his little brother and sisters enough. They were family.

Max kept swiping. More of the same, except the little ones kept getting younger, and still no pictures with Max. He went back before Mila was born.

He had not thought about their dog until he got to a picture of it as a puppy. King. It was not Max’s dog like Spyke had been.

Max’s dad was not the most inventive in dog names. Jimmy and Sassy were better names.

The dog was probably boarded somewhere, and Max would need to find where.

The kids were not going to lose their parents and their pet.

Finally, there was a picture that had Max and Jaxx together. He was a baby in Victoria’s arms for a Christmas picture. Jaye was standing in front of Max. Their dad on Victoria’s other side.

Christmas would be…

“Chairs or carpet?” Charles asked.

Max was still standing there, staring at his phone.

Jaxx was looking too. He liked to play with phones.

Everyone had just been quiet until Charles had to speak.

The chairs were the functioning adult choice.

Max wanted to sit on the floor.

Charles offered either.

“They can move around on the floor,” Max said, putting it on them, even though Charles wouldn’t care. Charles had found Max sitting on a worse floor, and Charles had sat down next to him.

Max sat down with Jaxx.

Jaxx didn’t move to leave Max’s lap.

Charles sat with Mila on Max’s right side- the side with the phone, opposite Jaxx.

Max put down the phone to offer his hand to Mila, who took it.

Her hand was so tiny.

“That is a good picture,” Charles said, looking at the phone on the ground.

“Yes.”

Max wasn’t sure if there was a picture anywhere with their dad and all five kids. One of them at least was always not around. He was even more sure there wouldn’t be one with the five plus Victoria’s two little ones.

Max stared at the picture. Jaxx’s hair was light blond there, but it was already turning darker. Like Max’s had done at some point around Jaxx’s age. Now, Max’s hair only looked blond when he was in the sun a lot. Victoria’s would be even darker if she did not bleach it, but her hair had always been darker, even at Mila’s age. Mila’s hair was very light. She seemed content with Charles holding her. Max didn’t have any idea what she must be thinking.

“I- don’t know who can watch them. When I am racing,” Max said.

“My mother can do it.”

“Your mother is in Texas?”

“Oh, no. But Lorenzo is. He can watch them tomorrow. I meant future races. And not during races. She can watch them in Monaco. If you need someone. My mother would love to watch them. She is always saying she loves children. She keeps my cousins sometimes, but only one is still young. And none of us boys gave her grandchildren yet.”

Max… Max was not good at thinking that far ahead. He just needed to get the kids.

“Obviously it’s Lorenzo’s job first to give grandchildren.”

Charles shrugged, “Many people our age or Arthur’s age- younger than Arthur- have children. I am not saying- I should not have assumed that you would… ah… after this weekend…”

What?

Keep the kids?

“Of course I will keep them. I- I make the most sense, of course. I- you think so?”

“If you think so, then yes, of course.”

“I… do not think other people will think so.”

“If they think that, they do not know you so well.”

That…

Some people would think he could do it. Some people talked like he had a wife and child already. Except they didn’t know that was over. Or that it was really never like that with P. Max was more like an uncle or something. Who lived there. Some of the time. Max always travelled so much, and P was often with her father, or sometimes traveling with her mother without Max.

“You can’t just volunteer your mother to watch someone else’s kids,” Max said, to get away from that. It didn’t help. Jaxx and Mila weren’t someone else’s kids. Because they weren’t anyone’s kids. Both parents dead. Max just wanted to take them away from an American hospital without being accused of kidnapping.

“She will love it. I know because I know her,” Charles promised.

“I’ll need someone a lot. I’ll need to hire someone.”

He had the number for the service they- the service Kelly used for P. The service sent someone different all the time. Max thought Kelly preferred that. So P wouldn’t get attached to them more than Kelly. But Jaxx and Mila didn’t have parents.

“You can pay her if you want. She watched kids for money when I was young, sometimes.”

“Isn’t she… doesn’t she have a job? Still now, I mean?”

Max knew she cut hair, and had kept doing it, even after Charles made it to F1. But it had been some time since he’d heard.

“Hair cutting, yes, but she is ready to quit, she says. She would quit when one of us gave her grandchildren to watch, she says.”

“This… isn’t the same thing at all.”

“She would do it,” Charles insisted. “At least until you find someone you want to, she would do it. Ah- her English is not as good as mine, and she does not know Dutch, so maybe you would want to find someone who did. I will ask if she knows anyone in Monaco who would be perfect.”

“They will need to learn French in school. Or- before then.”

If they lived in Monaco with him… Max did not need French much- and he understood some, even if he could not speak much of it- but was there an English speaking school? Did it mean private tutors? They would want to play with other kids, probably. Jaxx went to preschool already. He had been to a different one last year. And a different over the summer. Every person Jaxx met was his new best friend, even when he did not remember their names.

Charles touched his arm, and Max looked back up. Charles ran a hand up and down his forearm. Soothing, or whatever.

“One day at a time. We will try to find someone who speaks Dutch who can stay with them and Lorenzo during the race. Do you know if Nyck is here this week? I know he is driving FP1 in Mexico.”

Why did Charles know that?

“They will be fine. They will watch the race. Overnight with a stranger would be scary, but I can introduce them to Lorenzo.”

Someone at Red Bull would be easily assigned to watch them. But… this seemed nicer. Max could still picture Lorenzo entertaining little Arthur when Charles was looking at his cart with his dad. And sometimes with Jules Bianchi.

The door opened, “Max? Could you help us with some paperwork?”

“Yes,” Max answered, standing with Jaxx still in his arms. Charles’s arm wasn’t touching him anymore, of course. Jaxx was very quiet.

“Perhaps he could stay with your friend?” The woman suggested softly. “We can send in a security guard as well,” she offered. Like that would make him feel better than Charles watching them. Someone with a uniform and probably a gun.

“Just Charles is good,” Max said. “Be good for Charles,” Max told them both.

If it was really just paperwork, Max was sure they would just bring it in the room. Max breathed deeply and prepared himself to see… whatever they had to show him.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Max fully expected to be led somewhere downstairs to a morgue, but he was led just one room over.

There was a man in uniform. Police. And a woman in normal clothes, and the other  woman who brought Max in.

“I’m Cassidy, a counselor here at the hospital,” the sitting woman introduced herself.

Right, they wanted to prepare him before. But it wasn’t like Max didn’t understand that his dad was dead. He wasn’t two or three years old.

“Hello,” Max said. “Can we please just do it? I don’t want to leave the kids too long.”

“Right. There’s no rush, but since you already asked, there are pictures ready, if you want to talk about identifying the body.”

“I can do it. You can take me there.”

“We can do it here. I have pictures,” the woman explained, pointing to blank sheets of paper in front of her. It should have been obvious from her saying pictures. “Can you sit down with me?” She motioned to the chair next to her.

Max wanted to take the chair on the opposite side of the table just to be non-compliant.

Max took the indicated chair instead. He reached for the pictures.

The woman- Cassidy- placed a hand there.

“We can start with a tattoo,” she said.

“My dad doesn’t have any tattoos,” Max objected. How could they- but there was no way that someone else would be with the kids. He-

“On the woman. I am sorry, Max, I-”

Of course.

“It’s fine. I did not know she had a tattoo. I would not recognize it. Just let me see her face-” he said. Unless they wanted to do the tattoo because their faces were too… Maybe this was why he was seeing pictures. Because the bodies were too bad to look at. Or maybe seeing the body in the morgue was made up in movies.

“There is some bruising, especially around her nose,” the woman warned. “You don’t have to do this now if you-”

“I did not know her so well, I am fine. I need to know if my brother and sister have lost their mother. They are the only ones I care about right now,” Max said. It sounded good, he was sure. He knew it would be their mother. While his dad would probably cheat on her, he wouldn’t do it in the same car as Jaxx and Mila. Wouldn’t take her to the track for the world to see.

The woman shifted her pile of pictures, removing the top one and sliding the second one over to Max, still upside down.

Max turned it over.

It was harder to recognize than he would have thought.

But it was her, he was sure.

“Yes, this is Sandy Sijtsma,” he answered. Probably the policeman needed to hear that. “Can I see my father?”

The next picture down was moved over to him, but she didn’t pull her hand away.

“I can handle it,” Max said. He did not raise his voice. He needed to be calm to get to take Jaxx and Mila away from this place.

Max turned the page over.

He didn’t need to look long.

“It is my father, Jos Verstappen,” he confirmed. He gave both pictures back to Cassidy and stood.

“Like I said, I am a counselor at this hospital. Or, if you would be more comfortable talking to a man, I can-”

“I have a therapist,” Max said.

He had a sports psychologist that Red Bull employed. But… sometimes they talked about other things. His father, mostly. Max wasn’t sure if any other Red Bull employees went as well, and Max didn’t ask. It was just another meeting on his schedule. Not as bad as some of the meetings sometimes.

“Was there another car involved in the crash? Are… they okay?”

Did his dad kill someone?

Did someone kill his dad?

“There’s an ongoing investigation,” the police officer answered.

“Can you tell me if he killed anyone?” Max said. He thought it was easier to deal with a driver the idea that he might die than the idea that he might cause someone else to die.

“I’m not on the case… but I asked about it. I think it’s public record by now- that there were only two deaths and no one in critical condition. It… looks like he might have ran a red light. He was going straight, and maybe he didn’t realize the person had a green left turn arrow. You know- well, you probably don’t know, or maybe you do know. I don’t know what it’s like other places. I've never driven further than Florida, which-" Max nearly tuned out the man talking about order of lights and sequences of lights, and whether or not the light is triggered by a sensor. It didn't matter. "...I shouldn’t really speculate, because I don’t have all the facts, but I do know there are cameras on that intersection, so we can see- only the police, I mean. I don’t think it would be public, ah… Mr. Verstappen.”

He knew who Max was. From before this meeting, Max could tell. This would be a story this man told, probably in a bad, rambling way with too much discussion of traffic lights when really it was simple. Do not go straight through an intersection with a red light.

“Thank you,” Max said anyway.

Maybe it would be easier to deal with… it being his dad’s fault.

There was no person to throw in prison. No trial. No one for Max to be angry at. No one alive. Maybe it would be easiest if it was someone else’s fault, but they were dead too. But that wasn’t a good thing to wish for someone else to also be dead. Some other family hurting.

Max’s job was to be the responsible adult. By being polite and showing these people he could take the kids and get the hell out of this place.

“I- don’t know how the medical bills work for something like this,” Max said. “But if someone in the other car has them, I can give someone our lawyer’s number. Can I go back to the other room?” Max asked.

“Yes, of course,” the social worker answered.

“Thank you,” Max said.

Max went back to the room to find Charles with the kids sharing his lap, all staring at a video on Charles’s phone.

Only Charles looked up when the door opened.

Jaxx didn’t notice until Max was close. He scrambled up to hug Max’s legs.

“What are you watching with Charles?” Max asked. He was fairly sure Jaxx would understand.

“Pony!” Mila screeched.

Which… Max wasn’t sure if it was in response to Max’s question, or just something she was excited about.

“Real ponies, not Ferraris,” Charles said quickly. Like Max would care. Like Max wouldn’t guess from the soft music audio and the lack of engine sounds.

“Either would be fine,” Max said instead.

“Someone is putting the car seats into my car downstairs. A nice hospital employee is going to make sure they do it right. And then they will bring up the IDs.”

“Good. Good.”

Max settled back down with Jaxx in his lap again.

Next to Charles, so Jaxx could see the screen with the ponies. Mila seemed happy in Charles’s lap, so Max didn’t try to move her.

They watched videos until Mila fell asleep and Jaxx looked like he might.

Max wasn’t sure if everything had hit him yet.

He didn’t have some big reaction when his grandfather died. Max hadn’t been that close to him and didn’t honestly like him very much. His dad was different. His dad was always there. The man was not perfect, but of course Max loved his dad very much. They spoke several times a week.

When the door opened again, it was the first woman again. The woman who had been with Mila and Jaxx before Max and Charles got there.

“I just have some papers to sign, and we can release Mila and Jaxx to your custody,” she announced.

Good.

The main thing done.

Max stood, still holding Jaxx, and walked to the table where he sat.

He should have a lawyer with him.

He should have told Red Bull right away, and they would handle everything.

He wouldn’t have ridden in a Ferrari there either.

Max read everything.

Considering he was taking temporary custody of two children, it wasn’t surprising that there were a lot of papers.

But Max’s Red Bull contract was longer.

Max signed everything.

Jaxx was asleep in Max’s lap when he was done.

Charles led them back down to the car, someone Max vaguely recognized in a Ferrari polo now standing in front of it.

Max put Jaxx in on one side, and Charles put Mila in the other. It didn’t surprise him that Charles didn’t have any difficulty with the straps. They weren’t that different to the sorts of harnesses Charles and Max had worn all their lives. But probably Charles had put a child in a child seat at some point too. He seemed so comfortable with the kids. Or maybe Charles was just good at everything.

The kids were asleep for sure. “They think my dad ran a red light and hit another car. No one in that car is badly hurt, they said.”

“I am sorry, Max,” Charles answered.

Charles put his hand out, open in the middle of the car.

Max… put his elbow there. Charles squeezed. Max moved his arm away.

Charles drove to the hotel Max was staying in without being told. Max didn’t know if it was even the same hotel Charles was staying in. New keys were waiting at the front desk. Max’s key would still be in his driver room. Charles handed both of the keys to Max.

Charles led them up to Max’s room. He’d learned the number from someone. Max wasn’t sure how much Red Bull knew by now. He didn’t want to ask. Or check his phone.

“Do you think Mila needs a change?” Charles asked when the door was closed.

“A-?” Right. Mila was still only two. It had been a while since P was in diapers, and Max rarely dealt with any of that. “I will check. I should change clothes as well.”

He was still in his race suit.

Max put Jaxx down, grabbed clothes for himself, and accepted Mila from Charles, taking her into the other room. Jaxx followed.

Max went to the blue rolling luggage he was fairly sure had Jaxx and Mila’s things. It wasn’t his father’s suitcase, he knew. Max didn’t want to go through that.

The diaper she had on didn’t match anything in the bag. It wasn’t messy either.

“Mila, did you get a new diaper at the hospital?”

Mila nodded.

“Mila is supposed to use the toilet, but she had an accident. I didn’t.”

“Accidents happen. It’s okay,” Max assured them both. Max didn’t even know if they had changed her clothes too, or if they had time to wash them while they were at the hospital all day without Max, or if her clothes were still reasonably clean because she already had a diaper since it wasn’t a normal day.

“I don’t even need a diaper at night,” Jaxx bragged.

“Good job. But Mila is younger, and everyone learns at their own pace.”

Max took them both to the toilet to try to go- Jaxx insisted he could handle it on his own, and Max took it as a small victory that both could go. Max had come back home from a trip to find P successfully out of daytime diapers, and Max had been very glad to miss that. Hotel toilets should really have the step for kids. Those had been left at Max’s place. And steps for the sink. Max would need them again.

Max finally could wash his hands and change out of his suit. He needed a shower, but other things were more important.

“Now, what food do you want to order?” Max asked as he dried his hands. The kids had not complained about being hungry, but they must be “We are in Texas. Maybe hamburger and fries?”

“Ja!”

Charles had something bright and childlike playing on the television in low volume when Max came back to his room. Jaxx ran over to crawl on the bed in front of the television, and Mila squirmed to be let down to follow. Charles turned the volume up as Max let Mila run over to join her brother. She made it up the tall bed on her own. Strong little girl. Max let her do it instead of picking her up. She could do it.

“Are there any phone calls I can help you with?” Charles asked in a low voice. Closer to Max now.

Right.

“I need- I need to tell Victoria. And Jaye’s mother. And my mother, but that can be a text. She will not be sad for herself. She will just want to know that I am okay, and I don’t want that call right now,” Max admitted. Saying far more than he needed. His mother loved him. But she could be a lot, and Max wasn’t ready to deal with that.

“You don’t have to be okay,” Charles said softly. “Do you want to call Victoria now? I can keep them busy,” he showed where the kids were on the bed.

“I don’t want to wake her up,” Max said.

Charles sighed, “I- saw it’s been posted. A picture from the hospital of you holding Jaxx… and people have put it together. Your father’s name has been released. It’s… going to be everywhere.”

“Shit.”

Victoria’s relationship with their father was complicated, but they were okay. He was good with his grandsons- who were not far from Jaxx’s and Mila’s ages.

“Or- maybe you could text your mum, and she could call your sister?” Charles suggested. Suggested the easiest way forward if that was all Max could handle.

“No.” Victoria didn’t need to hear it from their mother. Their parents could only stand being in the same room if it was celebrating something Max did. Victoria shouldn’t hear about her father being dead from someone who hated the man. Even if… even if Max understood why his mother felt that way. “Thank you for keeping them busy,” Max said instead. “Can you order food? Just from the hotel is fine, and put the charge on the room? Burger and fries for kids. Ah… and whatever vegetables mix they have,” Max added, hoping the kids would eat some of them. A steak for me, ah… medium rare, and vegetables, and get whatever you want for yourself.”

“I will take care of it. If there’s anyone I can help calling- like anyone from Red Bull, let me know.”

“I have probably missed calls from them. I silenced my phone.” That wasn’t a functioning adult thing to do.

“Your team will be fine. But if you want me to call Christian, I can.”

“You have Christian’s number?” Max asked.

“Yes, I do. And Marko. They have called me before,” Charles admitted with a smile. “It is flattering.”

“I’m sorry your car’s turned to shit on you this year,” Max said. It was so much easier to think for the moment about cars. It was silly to think about, Charles being his teammate, when he still had his big Ferrari contract until the end of 2024. Max wondered when those calls were. Probably all the teams talked to all the drivers. The calls had just never actually made it through Max’s people to Max. His people who would no longer ever include his dad.

“It did. And your car stopped blowing up.”

“You deserve to be at least second so much more than Checo.”

“Thank you, Max. I will order that food. Let me know anything else I can do.”

Max cleared away notifications of calls and texts.

Was it worse to wake Victoria up?

Should he text her?

He couldn’t tell her to call him when she woke up. He needed sleep. As selfish as that sounded, she would want him to sleep. He had a race tomorrow.

So it was wake her up or let her be told by a text or the internet in the morning.

He knew his calls made it past her do not disturb. He didn’t do that often.

Max called.

“Hallo?” Victoria asked.

Shit.

Shit.

Fuck.

“Max? What is wrong?”

“I- I just got back from the hospital.”

“What! What happened? You were fine in qualifying.”

Shit. Shit. He was doing this badly.

“It isn’t me. Dad. And Sandy. There was… a road car crash. They… they died.”

He- maybe it would have been kinder to say it quicker. He’d tried to.

“They… you saw him?”

“Yes. Charles offered to go for me, but I did not know if he could recognize Sandy. He stayed with Jaxx and Mila. They are okay. They are with me. I- I will keep them safe, I promise. Charles got them car seats. Rear facing like they had before. Maybe it is why they are not hurt.”

“Charles Leclerc is helping you?”

Max thought of when they were kids again. Victoria had asked to be introduced to Charles often. Said he was cute. Max had refused.

“He- knows how to keep going when someone dies.”

“I’m sorry, Max.”

Max wasn’t doing this right. He was supposed to be comforting her.

“I am sorry for you too.”

“But I wasn’t close to Dad like you. You don’t need him, you know? You haven’t needed him for years and years.”

“That is not true.” Max said, even though he had nearly said the same thing before.

“Okay. But I believe in you. Are you still going to race tomorrow?”

“I am here already and qualified.” Charles raced after his father died. Charles and Pierre raced after their friend died. Max had just assumed he would race. “I will race.”

“You will win tomorrow, and you will be safe. But that means you need sleep. Were you going to call anyone else?”

“I thought I would call Jaye’s mother.” He didn’t call her ‘Kelly’, because that had been confusing with his Kelly. Who wasn’t his Kelly anymore, and Victoria knew that. But he didn’t want her to think he was calling his ex.

“I will call her in the morning,” Victoria promised. “Have you told mama?”

“No.”

“I will tell her too. And Aunt Gerda and Grandmother. Your job is to get sleep. What time is it there?”

“I don’t know,” Max admitted. “We’re ordering food.”

“Good. Eat and sleep. It will be okay, Max.”

Fortunately the race was not until the afternoon. He could sleep in.

Except he did not know what the children’s schedules would be. When they would wake up, and need to eat, and be confused that their mother was not there.

“I want to keep the kids with me. After this. I want to keep them,” Max told her. So she wouldn’t make plans to take them herself, or get them to Gerda or someone. Sandy’s family.

“Okay. We will make that happen.”

Max called Christian. Because it sounded easier than Marko, and Max had to call one of them.

He was tempted to let Charles do it, but he didn’t want to explain that later.

“I will be fine to race tomorrow,” Max said when Christian picked up.

“Wasn’t going to be my first question, but that’s good to know. Let me know if that changes.”

“Sorry I didn’t call earlier.” It was the kind of stupid nicety Christian would like. And Max didn’t have other words.

“You don’t have to apologize to anyone, Max. What do you need help with now?”

“I-” What did he need? “I’ve got my little brother and sister, and I need to keep them.”

“We’ll get someone to watch them for you.”

“No. No, I can keep them tonight. And I won’t miss anything tomorrow. I- I have someone to watch them during the race. I mean I need like… an adoption lawyer.”

“Alright. I don’t personally know how quickly these things happen, but I’ll ask, and you and Kelly can take a little time, and-”

“Kelly is not in the picture. They are my brother and sister, and they just lost their mum and dad.” It felt weird not to say ‘mum’ to a British person. Or Australian.

“Of course, Max. I’ll ask legal.”

“I only mentioned it because you asked to help. I can handle it. Our lawyer or Raymond can find the right kind of lawyer.”

“You don’t have to handle everything on your own. We can help. Whoever you’ve got watching them is welcome in Red Bull hospitality.”

“Does that change if it’s Lorenzo Leclerc?” Max asked.

Christian paused. Max took some pleasure whenever he surprised Christian. He still felt it. Max wasn’t sure if it was good or weird that he could still feel things like that right now.

“We don’t keep anything confidential in hospitality. I wouldn’t exactly be eager to get him a garage pass, but that’s pretty loud for young ears anyway.”

“They have headphones. But I don’t need them so much in front of cameras right now.”

They’d talked about maybe getting pictures of them sitting in the car. Jaxx, at least, who could be trusted not to touch things when asked. And he was much more interested in cars. There would be other times.

“I’m already here and past quali, so I will race tomorrow. I’m not sure about next week though. I- don’t know what I have to do to keep them.”

Or… or find where they would be better off.

Max didn’t know who on their mother’s side might fight for them. No one on their side except Max and Victoria would be an option, and Victoria already had two kids.

“I’ll talk to legal,” Christian promised.

“I have to plan a funeral. Or maybe my aunt would do that.”

Max would not want the kids to go to his aunt Gerda.

“We can help with that too. You’re not alone.”

Max heard Jaxx laughing. He knew he wasn’t alone. He also knew the hard conversations with the kids had barely begun.

“I know,” Max said. “Thank you.”

Max took some time to look through his texts. Max didn’t want to talk to his manager. He texted Raymond that he was fine and would race tomorrow. That wasn’t really as much as Raymond deserved, with as closely as he worked with both Max and his dad for so many years. Same with Marko, but that was why it was hard to talk to them. Marko would just have to hear details about Max from Christian. He was in Austin, so he would already know about the death. It wasn’t like calling Victoria in the middle of the night. They were calling him because they already knew. So Max didn’t have to break the news to anyone else.

Brad would hear from Christian, probably. Anyone in Europe probably hadn’t heard yet. Either less connected to the F1 world, or Max hoped they were asleep, and he would… deal with those texts later. After the race, maybe. But, F1 people were starting to know. Daniel and Lando reached out. Pierre. Yuki. Alex. Nico. Even Carlos. Mick. George. Lewis.

Max stared at them for too long before saying a simple thank you to each. They’d worry and probably reach out more if Max didn’t respond. Max thought about saying something in the group chat.

Max walked back to his room to see the kids on either side of Charles. Max sat on Mila’s side. Because it was closer, and because he had held Jaxx earlier. There were superhero or something like that cartoon animals on the screen. Max didn’t recognize it as something P watched.

Max allowed himself a moment to zone out before the knock on the door.

“That must be our food,” Charles said as he crawled out of bed, careful of the kids. Mila got a little fussy when her pillow-man moved, before Max pulled her closer to him.

“I’ll be right back, and we can eat in bed,” Charles promised. He looked quickly to Max like he might have to apologize for saying that. Like Max would care where they ate.

Max should probably answer his own door.

He wondered what the hotel staff would think, if they knew whose room it was.

Probably they’d think the burgers were for two more drivers instead of toddlers. Or, maybe everyone knew that Max was keeping his little brother and sister.

“That was fast,” Max said when Charles rolled over the tray of food.

“I said I would pay a big tip if it was fast. I paid the tip myself, of course.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“We need to eat, and you’re buying my dinner. Or maybe Red Bull is. A tip is the least I could do.”

Charles was… Max owed him a lot. Too much to think about.

The steak tasted good. Max made sure not to eat too much. He gave a bit of the most cooked edge to Jaxx when he asked. He offered a less cooked piece to Charles- even though maybe that was a weird thing to do- but Charles seemed to enjoy it. Max declined a bite of Charles’s wrap, even when offered the second time from the half Charles hadn’t been eating.

The kids probably needed baths. Max still needed a shower. He really didn’t want to.

“You need rest,” Charles said. Unknowingly aligned with Max’s sister.

“You do too. This is not your problem.”

“This is not like that. Now, my stay is in a different hotel, but-”

“It’s fine. Thanks for- everything. You should go get your own sleep.”

“I was going to ask if I could stay here. I could take the couch or the other room’s bed or couch.”

“You can’t sleep on a couch.”

“I think it pulls into a bed anyway. I can see if there is a spare room nearby, but with the race- and I would like to be close, if you don’t mind- so I can help in the morning, and if you need it in the night? My car still has the car seats as well, and yours is at the race track. But we can get someone to deliver yours tomorrow if you can’t be seen arriving in a Ferrari.”

How mad could Honda be when they were already on the way out anyway?

“We can check the couches,” Max said. Probably they did become a bed. Probably that was where the kids had slept the night before. Max couldn’t picture his dad as the sort of person that welcomed kid cuddles in bed. “I need to give the kids a bath.”

“I’ll get the couches set up.”

“You can take one of the beds. Housekeeping changed the sheets. I’m sure at least the other room’s couch must be a bed for the kids. And I’ll get you some clothes,” Max said, walking to his bag.

“You don’t- Actually, yes, that would be nice, because I have to wear these tomorrow. Thank you.”

It was a small, easy thing.

Max gave the quickest possible baths to the kids, dumped them in the tub together. Glad that the hotel had a tub.

Teeth brushed- probably not well enough.

Another round of the toilet for both.

Nighttime diaper on for Mila, and pajamas for both, and they were tucked in. 

Charles had the couch in Max’s room set out with the bed and pillows. He also had a Dutch children’s book pulled up on his phone, which Max read, and then kissed each forehead.

They were mostly asleep already so at least the first nighttime was easy.

Max turned to Charles, who was just standing there, smiling at them.

Charles was wearing his clothes.

Of course he was, Max already knew that. He had noticed before.

It was what Max had that didn’t have a lion or Red Bull on it. A plain white t-shirt and athletic shorts.

The shirt was big on him, but Charles wore it like that sometimes. People might think Charles would dress fancy all the time, but, if he had a stupid bandana on, it would look like he dressed himself. Maybe the shirt would be nicer fabric and not plain white. Max enjoyed some time not wearing any sponsors or even any big name brand. Just plain, cheap, what anyone would wear.

“Is it okay if I leave the door open? Charles asked.

“I don’t know why you want to be woken up, but fine.”

“Thank you.”

Jaxx woke Max up crying.

The sheets were wet.

Charles was there almost as quickly as Max.

“It is okay. It is okay. Accidents happen,” Max promised Jaxx.

Mila started crying because Jaxx was crying.

Max picked Jaxx up and held him close, knowing he was just getting himself and his shirt disgusting. Normally, Max did not wear a shirt to bed, so it was silly that he had just because Charles was there.

“Can you-” Max started to ask Charles. “No,, I’m sorry. You should be asleep-” Max stumbled over.

“Let me help,” Charles requested. “I can take care of these sheets and fix the couch bed in the other room?”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Max rinsed Jaxx, threw off his own shirt and cleaned himself off decently from the piss-hug. He’d shower the next day and leave a big tip for the sheets, and maybe the hotel would wash the clothes too.

New clothes for Jaxx, new diaper for Mila, since they were awake already, and he got them in the bed Charles had made up in the other room.

“I can stay here, or switch beds if you want?” Charles offered. “But, it is okay to want to go back to your own bed,” Charles whispered.

In case he didn’t want to sleep in his father’s room.

Max had stayed in hotel beds more times than he could imagine. Even shared some with his dad when he was younger. A hotel bed had never bothered him before. It didn’t matter that his dad had stayed in that bed, and now his dad was dead. It wasn’t even really his dad’s room. It was a hotel room. Thousands of people had been in that room before. They had even changed the bedding since his dad had been in it.

“I should be close to them,” Max said.

“Do you want me to stay?” Charles asked. Like that was a normal question.

“What?”

“I can switch beds with you, or I can stay here. It is a big bed,” he pointed out. It was a king. “I have shared beds- most of them smaller- with lots of friends- and my brothers. With Pierre. With Este, though that was many years ago. With Jules. With Seb once. I can stay to my side.”

To keep him company. So he wouldn’t be alone in his dad’s room. It was just a hotel room. Just a hotel bed.

Max felt weird being shirtless. He hadn’t thought about trying to find another one. He usually didn’t sleep in one. Or pants either, just underwear. Briefs, usually, but he had the other types, the boxers and boxer briefs. No, of course, he still wore the exercise shorts.

“I’m not going to kick you out of your bed,” Max said.

He knew Charles would let him get away with the not quite answer.

Mostly because Charles had already decided he knew best and should stay, as long as Max didn’t push him away.

“Goodnight, Max.”

“Goodnight, Charles.”

Chapter Text

Max woke up to a knock on a door.

No one else was in the room with him.

The television was on low in the other room.

It was very light outside.

Max walked through the connecting door.

Charles was on the bed with both kids in his lap. The kids were engrossed in something that wasn’t actually coming from the television, but from Charles’s phone.

Charles smiled at Max and tilted his head towards the door.

Max went to the door. It was his door anyway. Maybe Charles had ordered breakfast.

It was Pierre and Lorenzo Leclerc.

“I would suggest you come in the hall, but you don’t have a shirt,” was Pierre’s greeting.

“I just woke up,” Max said. As if it needed an explanation. Probably Pierre walked around shirtless all the time.

“I wanted to get your approval for the T-O-Y-S,” Pierre spelled.

Charles had turned up the volume on what Max recognized was an old Dutch children’s cartoon coming from Charles’s phone.

“I am sure whatever is fine. I will pay you back,” Max promised.

“Oh, I did not pay for them.”

Pierre dug out from the bag and handed him Red Bull and AlphaTauri toy cars. The type that a kid would roll backwards and then they will propel forward on their own. Max had seen them before. And there was a Red Bull… red bull- literally a red male cow plush toy.

“I got a second bull at Charles’s request, in case you reject his first choice for your sister. He pulled from another bag- a red bag- a… it was a horse plush toy, though it did not look much like a horse. It had a red Ferrari shirt on and a yellow hat. It looked very stupid.

“It’s fine.”

Pierre shoved the things back in the bags.

“There are some Ferrari cars in there too. Little ones that they have to push. In case the Red Bull needs someone to beat.”

“Thank you.”

“Is nothing. I just had to say was for Charles and Ferrari was free. Red Bull was easy and free, of course.”

“Millionaires so happy with free things,” Lorenzo teased. “I’m here to help however I can.”

Lorenzo didn’t flinch when Pierre elbowed him sharply for his tease. Pierre grew up close enough to Charles’s family to know Lorenzo much better than Max did. The older man had been around. Looking after Charles, then Arthur. Max wasn’t sure if he was often around on weeks when F3 wasn’t competing, but Max wouldn’t turn down the help. It just… seemed more comfortable than some Red Bull employee. Even if Max knew a lot of Red Bull employees very well. Though, most of the ones he knew best were very busy with their own jobs on race weekends.

“You’re going to get credit for the toys, even though I brought them and brought you,” Pierre pointed out, handing both bags back to Lorenzo.

“I would have paid for them,” Lorenzo said.

“Red Bull and Ferrari have enough money,” Pierre brushed off. “Max, if you need anything-”

That was a conversation Max didn’t want to deal with.”

“Let me introduce you to the kids,” Max said.

“Jaxx. Mila. This is Lorenzo. He is going to stay with you during the race. He is Charles’s older brother.” Max said the harder part in Dutch.

“Yes, he is my oldest brother, like Max is for you,” Charles said. Dutch was not too hard to follow key words in for someone who knew English. He would have caught ‘older brother of Charles’ for sure. Comparing Lorenzo to Max was a good idea, because kids that young probably wouldn’t make the comparison themselves.

Max repeated it in Dutch to make sure.

He was not that much older, but Lorenzo didn’t seem to mind the comparison. His gap to Charles was closer to Jaye’s gap to the little ones, but that would just confuse them.

“Lorenzo brought some toys,” Max cued Lorenzo to come closer and bring them out. “You will behave for him, yes?”

“Ja,” Jaxx nodded, eyes focused on the bags Lorenzo held.

Could Lorenzo handle both of them? Did Max need to get a Red Bull employee just to have a second person? Max had never had to watch two kids at once. He knew his sister and Tom each did it sometimes. Victoria traveled more than Tom.

Lorenzo brought out the cars first. Two Red Bull cars, and two AlphaTauri’s.

Jaxx tried to grab them all, eyes big and excited.

“One each is Mila’s, okay?” Max coaxed. Jaxx nodded like he was listening.

“And the Ferrari,” Lorenzo brought out. The cars were smaller, but still big enough that it would be okay for Mila, Max was sure. Or, at least, P had had cars like this. Maybe none of them so close to F1 had grown up paying attention to warning labels for toy cars. It would be okay.

Both children reached out for the red cars. Mila looked happier than she had for the Red Bull car.

Their dad would-

No, it was okay. Mila could like any pretty color she liked, any car she liked.

“And the best parts,” Lorenzo introduced, bringing out the two soft toys at once.

Mila dropped her car.

“Pony!” she declared, reaching for it instead.

Max didn’t know how she could recognize the ugly thing as a horse. Maybe it was just the large Ferrari logo on the hat.

“And Red Bull,” Lorenzo agreed, showing the other toy to Jaxx.

“Thank you,” Jaxx said.

“Mila, can you say ‘Thank you?”

“Tank you,” Mila repeated, already making her horse run around her.

“And the last one for Max,” Lorenzo declared, holding out the second red bull. Max accepted it automatically.

“Thank you,” Max said, to be an example. “But, maybe Mila can look after it for me?” Max asked. It seemed fair, when Jaxx liked the cars more, so they would probably all become his when Mila didn’t care. Maybe she would keep a little red one.

Max brought the bull towards her, and she grabbed it in her little hand. She brought the two together, clapping with the toys that were almost too large for her to hold both at once.

“You should get ready, and we should go to the track,” Pierre said. “I can drive you so you show up in a Honda.”

That would be better for the team.

“I will take Lorenzo,” Charles said. “And, we can take the kids, or, Pierre, do you have a back seat?”

“Your Ferrari has a back seat?” Pierre asked instead of answering.

“This week, yes.”

“Me too. Big car for America, of course. Except I saw the cars that Max and Checo got. Checo's was better. That yellow. Alpha Tauri drivers don't get cars as cool as the Acura NSX."

If Max had had a back seat, maybe Sandy would have sat with the kids in the back, and Max and his dad would have sat in the front. Instead, Max rode in with Brad, and his dad drove whatever bigger vehicle had been reserved for Brad.

Max wasn't sure which one of them would have driven.

Maybe they would have all been safe. Maybe they all would have died except the kids. Maybe Sandy would have survived in the back seat.

It didn't help to think about what didn't happen.

It didn’t make much sense to move the seats into Pierre’s car for a ride to the track when Lorenzo was going to be the one watching them.

Maybe they could escape some attention, not showing up with Max. Someone wouldn’t instantly know that they were his little brother and sister with the dead parents.

Though… when someone figured it out- and someone online would- that would bring even more questions.

But Mila and Jaxx couldn’t read the internet, so the main thing was keeping them from dealing with anything in person.

“Or, I could keep them here,” Lorenzo offered quietly, just to Max.

Oh. At the hotel. That made sense.

But… they came all the way to America. For a vacation, yes, but also to see Max race in person. To sit in Max’s car, maybe.

“I don’t want to disappoint them. Jaxx wanted to go to the race. If you need help, anyone at Red Bull would help,” Max said. “Or, you don’t have to do this. I can get someone-”

“I want to do this. I want to help. Our mother also wants to help,” Lorenzo assured him.

Charles had found time to talk to her too, then.

“How much have you done today?” Max asked Charles.

“You needed sleep,” Charles brushed off.

“You should let people help you. And help the kids,” Lorenzo said, his voice quiet again, but strong. He would be a good father, Max decided.

Max got himself and the kids ready, with Charles’s help and Lorenzo nearby. Max talked to and about Lorenzo several times, to help them be comfortable. Lorenzo would take good care of them. There was a kid bag already packed with what they would need, and now also the bag of toys.

Lorenzo had planned an app to speak Dutch if he needed. Max warned him that Jaxx would steal his phone. Lorenzo did not seem to mind.

Neither of the kids had asked about their mother and father.

Max… couldn’t even remember what he had said to them so far.

He was not prepared for this.

He just… wanted to get through this race, and then he would be better.

I was too late for Red Bull to use a reserve driver, after qualifying already happened. Not that Max would want that. He was already ready. He could race.

His father would want him to race.

When Max got there, Christian gave him a brief briefing about what legal and admin had been doing for Max. They’d been talking to his aunt and sister about the funeral already, apparently. And then Christian checked once more that Max was up to racing.

After that, everyone treated it like a normal race weekend.

Max won.

And found himself with a microphone in front of Jenson Button.

Max had even walked there himself.

Had second and third even gone yet?

“Is there something you’d like to say, Max? Someone you’d like to dedicate this win to?” Jenson asked. Carefully.

It was the most obvious set-up.

To say his father.

Asked by someone who had raced against them both.

Sometimes it felt like every race was for Max’s father.

It wasn’t. It was for Max now. Not just this one. Maybe at the beginning it had been for his dad, but Max had never thought it should be. It had been for himself for a long time now..

“Yes. To my sisters and brother. Because… family is more important than winning.”

“A lesson from your father?” Jenson asked.

No.

Maybe because… how much it hurt when Jos Verstappen was not happy with Max getting second place. When his dad sometimes wasn’t even happy with a win that could have been even better.

When Max saw the other boys… back in karting… when he saw Charles and others get hugs from their fathers when they weren’t even on the podium.

Max heard the story, because he didn’t race with them when they were so young. Once, when Charles and Esteban raced, they crashed from the lead, and both were crying afterwards, not because they were hurt, but because they did not get to win. And their parents comforted them together.

“Ah… I… yes,” Max said. No one would be convinced by that. Everyone knew that Jos Verstappen cared about winning. “I… do not know yet… where I will be next week. If Mexico, or Nederlands, Belgium, or Monaco. I will be… where I need to be for family. And… I want to thank everyone at Red Bull for their support. The… the funeral will be November third.” It seemed like a long time to wait, but Christian said that whoever planned it said it wasn’t too long, and it was important to give people who were in Mexico next week a chance to come. Max wasn’t sure who would come. But his dad would like that. He would want attention and for a lot of people to come, but also not miss a race. He wouldn’t want Max to miss a race. Max didn’t know why he said any of it to the fucking broadcast. They said he didn’t have to talk to anyone. He shouldn’t have. He shouldn’t have. But saying shit was better than standing silent like an idiot. “And the burial. Or spreading of ashes in whatever nature or whatever is allowed. I’m not sure.” Was it a burial? It was weird to keep the ashes, wasn’t it? “He would probably want his ashes to be put right in the World Driver’s-” Max was going to throw up. Or pass out. Or cry. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. “Sorry.”

They told him he didn’t have to take interviews.

And then someone was touching his back. Nudging him forward.

“The race was great,” Charles said, now holding the microphone. Still holding Max. “I am very proud, for myself and for Max. Now it is Lewis’s turn,” Charles said firmly. To Jenson, Max thought. Charles would sound gentler to Max. “He has a lot to say.”

It was an instruction to Lewis Hamilton to stall.

Charles led Max away. Not to the cool down room. Max wasn’t sure where his helmet was. Max had already weighed, hadn’t he? Charles wouldn’t take him away before that. Yes, they both must have done that already.

Max drank from the drink in his hand. He wasn’t sure how long that had been there.

“There are cameras everywhere,” Charles complained. “Red Bull hospitality should be clear, I hope.”

That was further than they usually went before a podium. When it was right to the cooldown room to be filmed there, and then the podium, and then more interviews.

Interviews that maybe Max would skip after all.

Max couldn’t imagine telling himself a week ago that he wouldn’t accept any excuse to skip interviews without his team being mad at him.

Maybe he… had wanted everything to be normal.

Charles led him right to where Lorenzo and the kids were.

He’d just walked right into Red Bull in his Ferrari race suit.

Probably other people were around, but Max didn’t pay attention, and no one tried to stop them.

Max must look really terrible for no one to stop them.

Mila was sitting on the floor, playing with her two animals. Jaxx ran around, making the Red Bull car fly.

Lorenzo stood and greeted them, his brother first, with the hug and two cheek kisses that weren’t quite kisses.

“Congratulations,” he said.

Max had gotten congratulations for podiums that weren’t first place before. Even from his father, when the car wasn’t good enough.

Lorenzo held out his arms towards Max next. “May I?” he asked.

Charles had asked if Max wanted a hug before, and when Max hadn’t responded, he hadn’t gotten a hug.

“Okay,” Max answered.

The cheek ‘kisses’ didn’t actually touch any part of him, not even cheek to cheek. But the hug… Max let himself lean into it.

“I am proud of you,” Lorenzo said.

Which… didn’t really make any sense. He was supposed to hope that Max fell apart and Charles won. He should hope that Max’s car engine died again, but no one was hurt.

“Thank you,” Max answered anyway.

“You are doing so well with the kids,” Lorenzo praised. “They were easy for me.”

That had far more to do with their parents than with Max.

Max pulled away from Lorenzo when he felt the smaller hug around his legs.

“You won!” Jaxx celebrated.

“Yes, thank you,” Max answered.

“Where is Papa?”

Fuck.

It was definitely obvious to Charles and Lorenzo what he said.

“Papa is dead,” Max said. “Like grandfather.”

Had Max even told them that, the day before? Half of the day was a blur. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I am hungry. Can we have our winning treat?” Jaxx asked. Like Max hadn’t answered something life changing.

That… that struck him as a new problem. Tying treats to winning. Not that Max had gotten them. He had usually had to watch his weight. Treats were more from his mother.

“You can have a treat because you were good for Lorenzo,” Max said instead. “Not because I won.”

He wasn’t sure that Jaxx wouldn’t understand that, but he would keep trying.

Trying was what was important.

Parenting was not a race.

Maybe… maybe trying was what was important in racing too. He didn’t get suddenly much better when Red Bull gave him a better car.

“Charles and I have to get our trophies first, and then we will see if we can find a treat for how good you were for Lorenzo,” Max said in English.

They needed to leave. How long had walking here taken.

But… Max did feel better.

Max could skip the interviews.

“If I skip interviews, I hope you don’t get too many questions about me,” Max told Charles.

“You should skip them,” Charles agreed. “Do not worry about me. Are you okay to go to the podium?” Charles asked like it was an option not to go.

“Yes.”

The podium ceremony was normal. Less energetic, maybe. Max didn’t drink from the bottle. If he started, he might not stop, and he needed to take care of the kids.

It reminded him of Christian’s reminders, before he turned twenty-one, that if he had a podium at COTA, he wasn’t allowed to drink from it. It didn’t end up happening. But, apparently someone got in trouble when Seb had had champagne in Turkey when he was twenty-three.

Max skipped the interviews and went back to Red Bull hospitality.

Lorenzo was by a screen that was showing interviews. Max didn’t know they did that. He didn’t really seem to be paying attention to the screen, but was racing Jaxx’s car- letting Jaxx win- while Mila actually stared at the screen.

It looked weird, just Charles and Hamilon on the couch.

So much space between them, it could have been because of covid.

“Trophy?” Jaxx asked.

“I let Christian hold it for me. Sorry,” Max apologized.

Though, Jaxx had touched the WDC trophy before. The real one, even. From where it stayed in Max’s closet. Assuming ‘the real’ one meant anything. Assuming it wasn’t in a Mercedes back room, or some other team. 

“I have the keys to Charles’s car if you need it,” Lorenzo said.

“What?”

“The child seats are still there,” Lorenzo said.

“Right.”

“If Charles is still busy, I can drive if you can’t be seen driving a Ferrari.”

“I own a Ferrari,” Max said. Just because he didn’t like the idea that people might think he could only drive Hondas. “But maybe not from a race,” Max agreed.

“Do you need to go to engineering meeting?” Lorenzo asked.

“Ah… I don’t know. I don’t think people have too many expectations of me at this point. Probably trying to make sure I don’t break or something. Charles had to drag me away from the cameras.”

Max didn’t want to read what anyone thought of that.

“It is okay to break,” Lorenzo said. “I have. And for me was not a surprise.”

Max didn’t want to be in the dead dad club.

“Thanks,” Max said anyway. “I should…” Be in an engineering meeting if he wasn’t going to be doing interviews, which was what he should actually be doing. Charles and Lewis and the interviewer were still talking, and Max was trying not to listen.

It was about the race, at least.

Someone told them it was in bad taste to ask about Max breaking down because of his dead dad, probably.

The sort of bad taste that got them taken off lists.

Jaxx pulled on Max’s race suit. He held out the little Red Bull car. Max took it without thinking.

He knew how to play with kids.

He had done that a lot.

It was the real life responsibility parts he was less experienced with. But he could do it.

He had moved country and taken care of himself when he was eighteen.

It was easy to tell his father it was for tax reasons.

Jaxx held the little AlphaTauri, and Lorenzo still held the Ferrari.

Mila seemed content staring at the screen, the stuffed bull in her lap, and the horse above it, in her arms. It was okay for her to like that one more.

Max ran around, chasing Jaxx.

Because it was okay for cars to fly.

Jaxx sat down eventually. His declaration of being tired.

“Have they eaten?” Max asked.

He… did he know if they’d even had breakfast?

“Yes,” Lorenzo answered. “I avoided allergies in case?”

“I… don’t think they have, but-”

“Jaxx, are you allergic to anything?” Max asked.

Jaxx tilted his head.

The cats did that when they were investigating something.

“Is there anything you aren’t allowed to eat or drink?”

“No beer.”

“Is there anything besides beer that Mila can’t eat or drink?”

“Only little sips of water before bed or have to pee.”

Max would need to find out who their doctor was and ask about… everything.

“Treat?” Jaxx asked.

“Were you both good for Lorenzo?” Max asked.

“Yes,” Jaxx answered.

“Okay, let’s find a treat,” Max said. If Max was skipping alcohol, which was his preferred treat, he deserved something too. For surviving.

Chapter Text

Max had everyone clean and fed and in pajamas in Max’s bed with the television on before Charles got there. Charles had interviews and engineering meetings and whatever other meetings that he could not skip like Max.

Because his father had died years ago, not the day before.

It seemed like it had been longer.

Max’s plane would leave in the morning.

It was very late in Europe already. Time zones didn’t mean much to Max at this point, but it meant a lot to most people. Probably especially kids.

They would all sleep better in a hotel bed than on a plane.

He had ordered dinner for Charles as well.

He didn’t know when Charles was flying out. To Mexico. Probably tomorrow as well, because Max knew Charles could never sleep on planes. Usually Max would take a pill and then not have a problem. But probably should not have them when he was responsible for kids, even with another adult there. Especially not on his second or third day responsible for them.

Charles could be celebrating a podium.

Max opened the door before Charles was done quietly knocking.

“Sorry, I did not know if I should-” Charles started.

“Come in,” Max said. “I- ordered you food. Unless you ate already.”

“Thank you, Max. I didn’t eat much.”

“Pony,” Mila said, like it was Charles’s name. Or, probably because he was still wearing Ferrari gear. Clean clothes, and he’d obviously showered, but it was a Ferrari shirt and black pants.

“Hello, Mila,” Charles greeted. “And Jaxx,” Charles added softly.

Max wasn’t sure if Jaxx was asleep. Wasn’t sure if Max needed to wake him up for the toilet, or if the time before had been late enough.

Were the kids sleeping too much? But there was a lot of activity while they were awake.

“This looks wonderful, Max, thank you,” Charles said.

Charles bit into the burger that was definitely cold.

Max had opted for some sort of mixed vegetables to go with it, because that was what Charles ordered before, but maybe that was because it was before the race instead of after. And those were probably worse cold too.

“There’s a microwave,” Max pointed out.

“Oh, this is fine. I don’t want the beeping,” Charles nudged his head towards the kids.

He picked up a piece of broccoli with his hand, the barbarian. Max didn’t care about shit like that, of course.

“If you are going back to Europe, my mother would like to meet you wherever you go first. And Lorenzo will go with you, if that is okay?” He put the broccoli in his mouth.

“What?”

Charles smiled and covered his mouth with his hand, but spoke anyway.

“If you need to go to Monaco first, my mother will meet you there, but if you go right to Netherlands or Belgium, it is not hard for Maman to get there. If you are going to Mexico, she can meet us there instead.”

“Why would she do that?”

“She offered to fly to Austin as soon as I told her. I thought that might be too much for you. But, she would like to go with you, to help you with the children, or funeral, or anything you need. I can pay for the flights, of course, but I thought you might want help on the plane?”

That didn’t answer Max’s questions. Hew wasn’t even sure what he should be asking.

“She… why?”

“She already wants to help when you return to Monaco- if you return to Monaco. You do not have to say yes to this, but she would like to help. And the children seem to like Lorenzo. They will love my mother, I am sure.”

She wanted grandchildren, but these weren’t her grandchildren. Weren’t remotely close. They were her son’s… coworker’s kids. Rival might be a better word if it was not too dramatic.

“I haven’t told the plane what country to fly to, just… Europe. They need to file the flight plan, I know.” He needed to talk to Victoria again. And he had not even spoken with a lawyer.

“If you need my mother or Arthur to get something from your place, maybe you could get the doorman to let them in?” Charles suggested.

Volunteering his family for more work.

Max had to make a decision.

It was okay to accept help. Help that Max would pay for, of course. If Charles’s mother wanted to be a nanny, he would pay her very well. Some people had nannies that traveled with them and did lots of things.

“I have someone watching the cats. I- should go to Maaseik, I think. On the Belgium side. But we can go to Monaco first, to get your mother, if she wants to come.”

“I think, even without a personal jet, my mother can get there before you can from Texas. She will meet you there. You don’t need anything from Monaco? Arthur will still be in Monaco if you need anything later you forget.”

“But I can drop Lorenzo in Monaco too if I go there,” Max pointed out.

“Lorenzo doesn’t mind going to Belgium. I will text Maman, and text you her number- and Lorenzo’s if you don’t have it yet? Do you need anything before sleep?” Charles pivoted like that conversation was settled. Charles was already looking at the kids. Max was pretty sure they were both asleep in Max’s hotel bed.

“Fine, but I’m paying for all the flights. I’ll sleep on the couch bed. You can take the other room’s bed,” Max said without thinking. “Unless- you probably need to leave, of course.”

“I would like to stay.”

Jaxx wet the bed again.

It happened with trauma, Max reminded himself. Google had said so, that bedwetting was common.

Jaxx might not understand what was happening, but he knew it was a big change, and his mother wasn’t there.

Or, maybe it was simply Max’s fault for not making sure he peed late enough.

Mila cried because Jaxx was crying.

Charles took charge of comforting her and cleaning up the mess while Max cleaned Jaxx.

“I am here, and it is okay. I love you,” Max added. He was sure he had said it to the little boy before, but how much had he meant it back then? Had he said it yet after he got them? “I love you, and I am here,” Max repeated. “I should have woken you up to go to the toilet before sleep. I’m sorry. This is my fault, but we will fix it, and it is okay,” Max tried to comfort him.

He should maybe buy some night diapers- or pull ups- in Jaxx’s size. But that might be more of a fight, and seem like he wasn’t trusting Jaxx that he was toilet trained.

“Mila wants to be changed. Is that okay?” Charles called from outside the door.

“Of course,” Max answered.

“I mean- is it okay if I help her? She was showing me where diapers and wipes are.”

“If you don’t mind helping, you can,” Max answered.

“Of course I do not mind,” Charles answered. Like changing a diaper was a privilege that of course he would not mind doing- and Max did understand. People protected their kids from creeps. But obviously he would trust Charles with this. So much more than some person from a service. And clearly Mila trusted him too.

Charles had the couch bed in the other room set for the kids, like they had ended the night before. He was just tucking Mila in when Max came out. It had taken extra time to calm Jaxx down, but Max was still impressed with how much Charles did.

Max put Jaxx in the other side of the couch bed, kissed his forehead, and told him he could sleep again. Overwhelming emotion could often be good for putting kids to sleep, at least. The little boy was sleepy, and Mila wasn’t crying either.

Charles was standing next to the bed. The one Charles had been in for the night so far.

Max went to the other side of it without needing the discussion they had the night before.

It was a very big bed, and Charles could always go to the other room if he wanted to.

Charles climbed in the other side after Max.

*****Max*****

In the morning, Charles said goodbye to each of them and said that he would see them soon.

Lorenzo drove Max and the kids to Max’s plane in a very normal Ford hatchback. He had the car seats that had been in Charles’s loaned Ferrari. There were so many details that Max didn’t even think about that someone just did. And Max was used to Red Bull or his family doing things like that for him, but even his family was paid for those things.

Max had decided it was okay to let Charles and Lorenzo help. He was pretty sure Lorenzo wouldn’t want his money, but Max would pay their mother extra. And maybe Max could pay Arthur too. He knew Lorenzo helped with managing Arthur’s sponsorships, and Charles seemed intent on volunteering Arthur for helping as well. And probably the youngest of the Leclercs would agree as easily as the rest of his family. They were doing it for the kids, really. They knew of the kids because of Max, yes, and they clearly wanted to help Max too, but Max could accept the help because of the kids.

Jaxx and Mila knew how to behave on a plane. They had made the flight over on this same plane. It had been their longest trip yet, but they’d done fine.

They were both agreeable until the door closed, and Mila started fussing.

She tugged on Max’s shirt.

“Charles,” Mila insisted.

Like they were forgetting him. She said it pretty well in the French way, probably from hearing Lorenzo.

“Charles is going to take a different plane. He is going to Mexico. We are going home.”

Max copied the way she said Charles’s name, so she would know who he was talking about. It felt weird. Charles had always said he didn’t care how his name was said.

It felt weird saying ‘home’ about Belgium when Monaco was his home now. Even more than the Netherlands, where Max had never technically lived. Just spent much of his time before going back to sleep in Belgium- the rich side of town.

“Where’s Papa?” Jaxx asked.

Fuck.

Jaxx looked at Lorenzo as well. Like for a second opinion.

“He… died, Jaxx.” 

Max repeated it in Dutch.

Max tried not to look at Lorenzo.

“He and your mother died like grandfather died,” Max tried. “They are not here anymore and cannot come back.”

Charles had said they would need to be told multiple times.

There weren’t bodies to look at. Max wasn’t sure if that would have helped or not. They were… well, even if they had wanted an open casket funeral, they weren’t in the right shape for that, and their wills had said cremation anyway, so it was easier to do the cremation before transporting. Probably a premium cost rush jobs.

Red Bull lawyers handled that, and Max hadn’t had to do anything but electronically sign something sent to his email that he tried not to think for long about.

They each had wills that said they wanted to be cremated, but no mention of who would raise their kids.

Well, his father’s had mentioned Max and Victoria being raised by their mother. It hadn’t been updated for maybe twenty years, Max thought. Maybe he thought he was done with dangerous things after Formula One.

Max didn’t know what the hell he was going to do with the ashes. Someone else in the family could decide.

They were in the plane somewhere, but Max hadn’t seen them. Another thing someone else had dealt with for him.

Max wondered if he’d think about it the next time he was on the plane. That it had been used to transport human remains.

It wouldn’t be practical to get a different jet just because of that. They weren’t as easy to buy and sell as cars.

Max wanted a drink. He usually drank on planes after races.

It was possible he usually drank too much.

How many times would he have to tell the kids their father died?

How was Jaye doing? She was so young still too. 

Max hoped her mother could handle it better than Max. Max had never thought much about his father’s second wife. Max had been busy by then, even though he lived in the house at the beginning. He tried to be busy. He didn’t understand her. He didn’t understand why they stayed together if she was going to talk badly about his father. Max had always decided that those accusations were lies, but if they were, he couldn’t understand why his dad would stay after she said horrible lies about him. Max hadn’t understood any of it at the time. And by the age Max understood it a little better, the relationship was over, so it didn’t matter. Now, it really didn’t matter, because his dad was dead. Their dad was dead.

Jaxx was still looking at him. The little boy didn’t understand. He was doing the head tilt cat thing. Or, maybe he was just having difficulty looking up at Max. Max knelt down in case that helped. It wasn’t easy in the plane.

“Dead is like…” He could not say asleep. He could not say left. Charles had said that, and it sounded right. But he didn’t know what to say instead. “Dead is gone. It is so hurt that-” And that was just too brutal. “They are dead. I am sorry. But I am here. And I will take care of you now,” Max promised, even though he didn’t have legal papers for it being permanent yet. Even though he hadn’t even talked to their mother’s side of the family. But there was no one who made sense but him.

Max didn’t think they understood this better. Mila wasn’t even looking at him.

“I will take care of you now,” Max repeated.

He would make sure it was true. Even if it could only be visits.

No, he was the only one who made sense.

Even if a single Formula One driver did not make the most sense.

No, it did. Other people had jobs too, and he made a lot of money.

Max got them buckled in. He brought them snacks and drinks. It would help their ears when the plane would take off.

He put a show on a tablet. Something in English he recognized from P. It was educational and she had liked it.

“I do not know what I am doing,” Max admitted to Lorenzo.

Putting a show on a tablet was easy. That was not being a parent.

Probably he should be sitting next to Jaxx or Mila, but the plane only had two seats together on a row, and only two of those rows. The rest of the seats were single seats. He would get closer when they were in the air.

On the last flight, Sandy had sat next to Mila, and Jaxx had moved around several times.

“My father died when I was about Jaxx’s age.”

“What?” Max stared at him.

“I was very lucky to have another father. I don’t remember before Papa- that his Herve Leclerc- was there for me.”

Max knew that Lorenzo’s instagram said Lorenzo Tolotta-Leclerc, but it was rude to ask, and Max hadn’t cared why. He would have guessed divorce. Or that Tolotta was his mother’s name, and maybe they had him before they were married or something.

“You… don’t remember your first father?” Max asked.

Asking if the kids would forget Jos.

“No, I don’t. But he was not there very much. He was not together with my mother. Herve was already there before my first father died. He could not adopt me until after, but he was already there for us. I do not know what Mila and Jaxx will remember. But I know that they will have people who love them, and that is what matters most.”

“They might be better off not remembering my father,” Max murmured. “Or- not knowing him long enough for it to go bad. I- don’t think he was bad to them. I don’t think he was bad to Jaye either, but- I think he was bad to her mother, so she left.”

Eventually.

Like Max’s mother had left with Victoria eventually.

But Max got to stay. It made sense. Max had a promising driving career. And his father knew how to best get him there. Victoria could have been good at karting, but she wasn’t dedicated enough.

Lorenzo might even know some of that.

“I am sorry, Max.”

“I don’t want to… mess them up,” Max admitted.

“You won’t,” Lorenzo promised. “Not in the big ways that matter like that. You will make little mistakes- mistakes that might seem big- but it is okay.”

It… shouldn’t sound that scary. He had been around children. He had been around Jaxx and Mila before, and Jaye, and Luka and Lio. And most around P. He had lived with P for much of her life. He wondered if P missed him. But he hadn’t truly been responsible for any of them, not even P.

“Thank you.”

Flying across the Atlantic took a long time.

Especially when Max was not tired and couldn’t take a sleeping pill, and wasn’t going to drink. There was no one to discuss the last race with- well, probably Lorenzo could have kept up a decent conversation, but Max did not need to talk about racing. There was no race the next week to prepare for and distract him. No, there was a race, but Max wasn’t driving in it. Christian and Helmut knew Max wouldn’t be there. Well, technically they knew that he was flying to Europe and didn’t intend to be there. Helmut had pointed out that Max had until FP3 to get in the car if he needed, and Christian wouldn’t try to stop it if Max changed his mind and showed up in Mexico.

Max talked to his aunt on the plane. And to his father’s lawyer. He tried to get moments of privacy from the kids while watching them, but Lorenzo was there.

His aunt already knew about his break up with Kelly, but he actually had to tell his father’s lawyer. As if that should impact what happens to his little brother and sister.

His aunt said how wonderful he was a bunch of times. She was always like that. It was sometimes weird and clingy, but she wasn’t fighting for the kids, so that was good.

Charles’s mother met them at the small airport nearest his father’s home. Max wondered how difficult it was for her to find herself there. He would pay her back.

Charles’s mother was a warm woman who hugged Max and said how much he had grown since his karting days.

As if Max and Charles had been the sort of friend like Charles and Pierre were- who went to each others’ houses and met each other’s families properly.

Max and Charles had been… respecting competitors. Rivals.

They had had their post-race debriefs, back then.

Maybe because Charles would actually stand there long enough to listen to what Max had to say. But he would give some good feedback sometimes.

Max hugged her back tightly.

Max should have called his own mother. They had still only texted a few times. He just… he would. He would talk to her. There were just so many people he had to talk to.

It was weird that he had accepted so much help from Charles’s family.

Maybe it was not weird in Texas, because Charles and Lorenzo were there.

Maybe it was not even weird in Monaco, since Max would be paying for it.

But here, right by his two home countries, it was weird.

He’d been texting with Victoria more, but he’d only exchanged a few texts with his mother. She had tried to call twice, but Max had not picked up.

He would do better. He just had to focus on the kids first.

Max introduced Pascale to Mila and Jaxx.

They seemed fine with her. Probably they were more used to being taken care of by women. Lorenzo emphasized that she was his mother. And Charles’s mother.

Mila asked for Charles again. ‘Charles?’ and looking around. Like he would appear, even though he hadn’t flown across the ocean with them. Of course Mila did not understand that.

She had only been around Charles for two days, but Max could tell this was the sort of fixation a kid would take a while to drop. Or, at least P would have. Mila scarcely let go of her stuffed Ferrari horse, and had associated it with Charles.

Sometimes Max could appreciate how much experience he had with a kid from watching P grow up without it aching too badly. Maybe he was too busy to ache.

Max had a car he kept there at the airport. Which he’d mentioned to Charles, so of course Pascale and Lorenzo already knew. Pascale had two rear-facing child seats with her. She knew how to put them in the car, and Max watched closely.

His father had a car there too somewhere. It would not be hard to find. The airport was not very big. Probably that car already had child seats. There were so many loose ends everywhere.

“Five will be a tight fit in the car,” Max said, apologetically.

“I will be fine in the back between them,” Lorenzo brushed off. He was skinny enough for it.

Max knew the way to his father’s house without the GPS. Max didn’t actually know the way to many places. Roads were more complicated than tracks. And memorizing tracks was a thing that took time. It was weirdest in Monaco, where it was both. But that was something Charles had always lived with, it being both.

The drive there was fairly quiet.

Max opened the front door with the key he’d received at the hospital from his fathers’ things.

Max hoped the kids would be more comfortable in their own space.

He hoped he could make Monaco their space.

The house had a lot of rooms, so it didn’t make sense for Pascale or Lorenzo to stay anywhere else.

“Let me help,” Charles’s mother- Pascale- said while Lorenzo was unloading the car. Max should be doing it. The kids watched Lorenzo. He was the most interesting person for the moment. It would be Max again soon, he knew. “What is done?” Pascale asked.

“Victoria said she would handle the funeral. But I-”

“I help,” Pascale answered. “What else?”

How much English did Pascale know? Max’s French was pretty poor.

“I can’t think of anything. Lawyers are working on custody. My aunt isn’t going to fight for them. Or my sister or grandmother. So it’s just an aunt on their mother’s side who I need to talk to. She said she wouldn’t fight if our meeting in person went well. I don’t think she actually wants to raise little kids again. And, I guess there’s my father’s half brother, but he’s not much older than me, and he would not want them. And I’m much closer to them anyway,” Max rambled. “Lawyers and accountants are handling… inheritance, or whatever. Not that I care for myself. And Victoria is okay, but the younger three... I mean, I’d make sure they had whatever they needed, but- yeah, all that. And lawyers are already working on letting me bring them to Monaco if- when- I get them, because I really don’t want to live in Belgium or Netherlands, I just-” It wasn’t just the taxes. It was… him being too famous. It had once been to be independent from his father. Maybe now, it was the memories. It was everything. He was glad he had the support. He was glad he still enjoyed his home grand prix. And his second home grand prix. But he didn’t want to be there all the time. And there wasn’t someone he wanted to leave the kids with there.

“I don’t know what to do,” Max admitted.

“You are doing good,” Pascale said confidently.

Lorenzo came and placed a hand on Max’s shoulder. He was carrying too many bags. Max should have helped. Max had said his father and Sandy’s bags could stay at the little airport, and he would get them later. Lorenzo had said he could go back for them.

“They have a dog,” Max remembered. “I don’t know where it is. I hoped it would be here, but I don’t hear it. Always it barks when people come. Maybe it is with a service? I don’t know. Everywhere is probably closed. You don’t have to- neither of you have to do anything. You’ve already-”

“I will find the dog. Tomorrow if it is not here,” Lorenzo announced. “Maman, dinner?”

They had eaten sandwiches that appeared from somewhere on the plane.

Probably the younger co-pilot/steward arranged for it. Max learned that that was how it worked. The more experienced pilot was the captain, and the less experienced pilot sat there in case something happened, and had to deal with whatever shit the rich people with private planes wanted. Max made a point of not taking them away from the important part of their job when the plane was in the air.

“Thank you,” Max told Lorenzo and Pascale.

Max’s room was no different than it had been since his father bought the house a few years ago. It was not really his room.

Max found Mila showing Lorenzo all of her toys, pointing and babbling, a mix of the names for them in English or Dutch, or some with their own names like pets.

Jaxx took Max to see his kart. Which Max had seen before, the last time Max was at the house.

It was getting very late, but it would not have been late in Texas yet. Charles would be in Mexico.

But, when it was dark, it was not too hard to convince kids to go to bed, in Max’s experience.

Pascale had pasta with chicken and vegetables ready for them. She said it had been frozen, and not to think she did anything special. She could go shopping the next day, and she could make anything they wanted to eat. Her English was really pretty good. She only conferred with Lorenzo a few times on what to say throughout dinner.

The kids knew what the food was and ate it, and that was what mattered.

Max put them both in Jaxx’s room for the night.

They did not seem to mind sharing so far, and it would be best if they could keep sharing in Monaco, at least for a while.

Lorenzo and Pascale offered to find a hotel. As if them being there was an inconvenience instead of a help.

“You can stay in any room,” Max told them. “There are plenty of rooms. I- put Jaxx and Mila in a room to be together,” Max said. “That… seemed okay. They did not mind sharing a bed in the hotel,” Max said, suddenly unsure of himself.

“Charles and Arthur shared a room for years,” Lorenzo put in. “Two of us still share when we are all at home. Arthur is who wins his own room now, because he lives at home most of the time and has a serious girlfriend.”

Home. Charles and Lorenzo definitely had apartments in Monaco. So there was no reason to ever stay at the same apartment except for family togetherness.

Max had moved to a different country than his family as soon as he was legally old enough to do so.

When Mila woke up five hours later crying, everyone was dry. Max took them both for a toilet break.

Pascale hovered by the door, ready to help if Max needed it.

Mila asked for ‘pony’. Max wasn’t sure if that was the toy or Charles, but he could provide the silly Ferrari toy, and she seemed happy enough with it.

Max wasn’t ready for them to sleep less. He had enough trouble convincing Jaxx it was still night time and he needed to sleep more. Max didn’t even know what time it was.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Adoption law was stupid.

Probably the fact that Max’s dad and step-mother- if that was even the proper term when they were married when Max was an adult- hadn’t designated a guardian for the children helped him. Because, if they had picked someone, why would it be Max? Max didn’t know who it would have been instead. Maybe that’s why they never bothered updating their wills. They just planned on not dying anytime soon, or at least not dying together.

Probably a lot of people wouldn’t understand why Max wanted the kids.

When had Max Verstappen ever shown he cared about anyone else?

No, his fans didn’t think that. His fans loved pictures of him with P. They did not understand that that is not the same as being a father.

Would they even follow Belgian or Dutch adoption laws? Could they pick the easier one?

He had both citizenships, like the kids did, so it felt like that should count for something.

He was a fucking knight. Officer of the Order of Orange-Nassau- same thing. Actually a higher equivalent rank than Sir Lewis Hamilton. And the middle princess had definitely flirted with Max. She was sixteen at the time, he thought, so it was a bit weird.

He just wanted to take care of his little siblings.

His lawyers- he had more of them now- were sure he could get custody easily if no close family member fought him for it.

Guardianship.

It sounded temporary.

Like someone watching him, waiting for him to fuck up and take them away.

So Max looked at adoption rules.

Just googling them himself.

Under Dutch law, grandparents couldn’t adopt their grandchildren, which was the first thing that surprised him. Not really relevant in this case, since Max didn’t think his father’s mother would be challenging for custody anyway.

The adopter had to be between eighteen and forty years older than the child- children. That was fine for Max and Mila and Jaxx, but would stop Max from theoretically adopting Jaye if someone needed to. Which was stupid. But, in this case, it would work for Max. It would knock out Aunt Gerda and also Jaxx and Mila’s aunt on their mother’s side- who Max still needed to talk to. He had a bio of her from a background check his lawyer had done, but he still hadn’t talked to the woman. Vera. Older than Sandy had been. She had three kids who were grown now, the youngest a year younger than Max. Those were names on paper now. People who weren’t related to Max, and Max only vaguely known they existed. But they were Jaxx and Mila’s cousins, so they now had to mean something to Max. Soon. When he could get to it. For the moment, they were deemed less likely to be competition for the custody of the kids than their mother. They were no competition for Max, surely? Cousins were much further removed than half-siblings, weren’t they? Definitely.

Just because Vera and her husband couldn’t adopt under Dutch law, didn’t mean they couldn’t be guardians even under Dutch law… Max didn’t think. He needed to ask the lawyers.

And then there was Belgian adoption law, which Max hadn’t even been able to find information on when he’d checked that first. Because he was fairly sure Vera only even had Belgian citizenship. So this was just some… pseudo-productive information binge that probably wasn’t actually doing any good at all. 

What if some judge in Belgium hated Max because he picked a Dutch racing license instead of a Belgian one?

That wasn’t a helpful thought.

Lawyers were already working on guardianship, which was the logical first step.

Max was pouring over the internet without knowing shit.

It didn’t stop him from doing it.

‘Generally, a single person wishing to adopt a child must have cared for and educated the child for the preceding three years.’ 

Mila wasn’t even three years old. All the adults she lived with are dead. Was she just not supposed to be eligible for adoption for three years? That would be ridiculous. And he was clearly reading some sort of summary. Lawyers got better deals than that. What was the meaning of ‘cared for’ and ‘educated’? They were too young for school. He had taught them some words. Max had even given Jaxx racing tips- sort of. That would probably appeal to the right judge. The next racing Verstappen. It would help him in the Netherlands at least. Max would lean into whatever angle helped him adopt them. And Jaxx could choose for himself what his future would be later, of course.

Max would probably have to attend some information sessions about adoption.

Would have to pass some background check.

He could handle that.

He was a knight.

Max still couldn’t fucking find anything about Belgian adoption law.

His lawyers would just tell him to let them handle it.

There was nothing he could find about taking them to Monaco.

He couldn’t handle some sort of kidnapping charge for taking them outside of the country.

If he contacted his lawyers, taking the time to deal with him would just take them away from doing the actually productive work Max was paying them for.

Surely it had been fine to take the kids away from Texas and back to their home, wasn’t it? That social worker there had let him take them, with paperwork from a judge. For whatever that meant. His lawyers would tell him if he’d done anything illegal. Could Max take them to Monaco just as easily? Just getting on his private plane? Was he stuck until some judge in some country gave a more official ruling? Did both Belgium and the Netherlands have to agree that he could keep the kids? He didn’t think Monaco would mind him bringing kids in, but what the hell did Max know?

The internet wasn’t being helpful.

Max would keep a house in whatever country he needed, but he hoped they could stay in Monaco at least for winter and summer breaks. He didn’t care wherever he called his primary residence was, or whatever that meant for taxes. Well, he did care, he liked Monaco for that, but Monaco was good for other reasons. Like the privacy Monaco provided.

But he would prioritize the kids first.

Which… he had an offer he trusted to help care for the kids in Monaco.

Which probably wouldn’t make sense to people, when all his family was in Belgium.

*****Max*****

“I’m coming to the funeral, unless you don’t want me to,” Kelly told him.

It was Kelly’s third time calling that he picked up. Not three times in a row, just three times since his dad died.

“You can come. You do not have to, but you can.”

“I… don’t know where to sit.”

“I don’t think there is a bride side and groom side like a wedding,” Max said.

“I meant… I wasn’t sure if I was expected to be with the family. Since it’s a public event, and we haven’t… told anyone.”

“Oh.”

That hadn’t been anywhere on his mental list of priorities.

“I heard you’re missing a race,” Kelly said.

“Yes. I needed to take time to help the kids and get custody.”

“You really want them.”

“I do want them. And Victoria and I agreed I’m the best choice.”

“I know you never seemed scared of P.”

“P is a sweet girl.”

“If we… tried again, it could be like P had a brother and a sister.”

Max tried to picture it. It wasn’t difficult. P was just about Jaxx’s age. Jaxx seemed older though. More verbal, even when Max thought boy’s weren’t supposed to be. He did have a few months on her. And he had a baby sister to constantly speak for. Or, maybe a few months just mattered a lot when they were three. He was pretty sure Jaxx wouldn’t like the idea of a sudden bonus sister his own age, and he’d had a lot of changes very suddenly. And, what if, just when he’d gotten used to the idea, Kelly and his new ‘sister’ disappeared?

Max couldn’t picture leaving Jaxx and Mila with Kelly when he went to a race.

He could picture it with Victoria.

Max could picture it with his own mother- if she could not just see their father in the kids. Max thought she could.

But, if he was honest, he could most easily picture them with Charles’s mother. Or Lorenzo, who had already watched them by himself. Or Charles. Obviously, if Max was at a race, Charles would also be there. But if it were just a trip to the factory that would have Max away for a few days, he could see them staying with Charles.

Max could picture them learning French. Maybe Pascale would cut their hair when they needed it.

He could only picture Kelly leaving again.

That wasn’t fair to Kelly, really. Max knew he was the difficult one.

“I do not think… the children have been through so much change. I think I will be single for a while.”

“Right. Of course. We can announce that however you want.”

Max hated that he was supposed to announce his relationship ending to the world.

“Maybe you do it?” he asked. “Can you make me not too much an ass?” If she didn’t do it, Victoria would. She did most of Max’s posting anyway.

  “Max, you just had the biggest public opinion boost possible. Everyone loves you.”

It wasn’t… he just… that sounded so calculated.

“I do not think Charles wished for others to share his brand of tragedy.”

Though Pierre could claim it too. And Mick. Many of them, really. One kind of loss or another. Daniel had been friends with Jules, Max knew. Or at least friendly.

“I- didn’t mean it like that. Just that you have a lot of people behind you.”

Max had checked his number of instagram followers for the first time in a long time, and he was pretty sure that was much higher than the last time Victoria told him his numbers.

There hadn’t been any posts since an announcement that Victoria made for him, and a reposted picture of him and his dad from karting days.

Kelly would have noticed that Max’s instagram numbers went up. It would have been something she would have talked about with Victoria about if the situation were different.

If she and Max were still together, and if Max’s popularity increase wasn’t from the novelty of his dead dad. Victoria’s dead dad too, of course.

Max was glad Victoria had Tom. He was a good man.

“I know. I’m… I’m okay.” He… he wasn’t, but that wasn’t Kelly’s fault. “Just say that it happened several weeks ago, and we wanted to keep it private, and we are still friends.”

“I asked Nelson and Pedro if they knew how you were doing, and they said you hadn’t texted them back.”

“I haven’t texted a lot of people back. Tell them thank you for me? And that I’m okay?”

“I can do that.”

“Thank you, Kelly.”

*****Max*****

Max got them.

Guardianship. Custody. Minimal oversight because he was family.

It was Thursday.

Max lost track of days sometimes, when he wasn’t working.

Thursday was usually media day. In some timezone.

Like the lawyers said, it wasn’t hard because he was a close relative, and no one disputed his claim. Aunt Vera wasn’t a problem. Max was ready to pay her off, but it wasn’t needed.

He’d gone to a virtual meeting about raising kids who have gone through trauma. Max wasn’t sure if it was required for custody, or something to make his case more solid, or just a good idea that his lawyer set up. Max tried to pay even better attention than he did at work.

He could take them to Monaco- which was another set of paperwork too. But it wasn’t so bad.

They just had a funeral to get through, and then they could go home.

To what the kids would hopefully learn to like as their home.

Pascale was the first person he told, because she was right there. The kids were down for a nap. Lorenzo had already gone home, with the promise that he would return for the funeral, and for anything Max needed.

Pascale gave him another hug.

Max made sure it was a reasonable hour in Mexico before texting Charles about the news.

Charles called him right away.

“You are doing everything so well, Max,” Charles said. “You are doing everything right for Jaxx and Mila.”

Charles found the right balance of being positive without being forced positive. Without obviously lying.

“Thanks.”

“Will you tell the kids I said hello?” Charles asked.

“I think they are napping, but I could-”

“No, no, don’t wake them up for me. Just pass on my love.”

That…

“Okay,” Max answered. “I am worried the kids are sleeping too much,” he admitted.

“Well… I think that could be jet lag, and so much going on. But they have a doctor there?”

“We are going tomorrow,” Max said. When Max could be on the track.

“Good. You are doing great.”

“Technically if I got on a plane now, I would be in Mexico in time to race. Marko said I had until even FP3.” Probably if he hurried, he could be there and rested in time for FP2. Max had to give an FP1 to a rookie at some point anyway.

Charles was quiet for a moment. Thinking.

“You can have a busy racing career and still be the best person for the kids, you know?”

Checo had kids. They didn’t come to the track. Maybe they would for Mexico. Maybe they had in Austin, and Max hadn’t noticed. Max had been the kid in the paddock sometimes. Gina and Mick had been there sometimes. Max had recently seen KMag’s daughter several times.

“My mother would help you get them back on the plane if that is what you need. Or would stay there with them if you need to leave.”

Max hadn’t even thought about leaving them. Which, he should have. He should probably not drag them across the world everywhere he went. Of course he should not.

But everything was so new. It wasn’t supposed to have even moved that fast.

“I think… I should stay here,” Max said.

“That is very good, Max.”

“I want to go to Monaco. Now. But it doesn’t make sense to move the kids now when they are comfortable just to come back in a few days for the funeral.

“You are doing a good job. You know Lorenzo would also come back sooner, if you need?”

Lorenzo had a job. Some business something. Something with flexible hours that had him able to fly across the world with his brothers, but he still had a lot to do.

“We are okay here. I- wish you luck for Mexico.”

“Will you watch?” Charles asked.

“Yes.” It hadn’t occurred to him not to. Even if for some reason he could not watch it live, he would watch it.

“Then I look forward to our debrief. Call me whenever you’re free after. Don’t worry about the time here.”

Max didn’t call the airport or pilot or Raymond. Maybe he could even let Red Bull think it had taken another day to get custody. There was too much going on for him to disappear.

*****Max*****

Max texted Checo good luck and said he hoped Checo won his home grand prix.

It was a lie.

But it was an easy lie to tell to help his relationship with his teammate when Max wasn’t even there.

Max ignored texts from Checo before and after. It was the same meaningless things everyone said, and Max didn’t have to bother responding to Checo’s the way he did to his actual friends’ messages. And those Max kept as brief as possible, mostly.

*****Max*****

Max liked dogs, but he had not planned on getting one after Spyke died. There had been other dogs when he was younger, and cats, and a cockatoo, but Spyke was the one that Max helped take care of before he moved out. The one who sometimes his dad brought to race weekends. His dad could not just bring home any animal he wanted, because Kelly and Sandy did not agree to take care of so many like Max’s mom had.

Lorenzo had found King on their first full day there. He left later that day. By a commercial flight, which he had insisted was okay. And he said Max couldn’t pay for it, and he had used frequent flyer miles anyway.

Max’s cats were fine being looked at once a day or less. Dogs took work.

But not as much work as kids.

And King was already part of their lives.

Jimmy and Sassy would just have to get used to Mila and Jaxx and the dog. Bengal cats were supposed to get along with dogs. They were friendly and active and dog-like themselves. The dog was only their size, which would help. Not like the neighbor’s big dogs with the big barks. And the kids and King would have to get used to the cats. They would get pet gates or whatever they needed.

King had a little house outside with climate control. Maybe Sandy didn’t want him loose in the house. But that didn’t matter anymore.

The dog went a little wild when he first went inside the main house, which didn’t exactly have Max looking forward to bringing it in his apartment, but he did calm down. King had been to the doggie obedience school and did listen to ‘sit’ and “stay”, and he had a big crate for when he slept inside the house, so they would be okay.

Max would make it work.

Max would make everything work.

Max learned that sometimes kids play acted through funerals after they’d been to funerals, so that might be in their future, and that was normal. Mila was probably just too young to understand much about death, but Jaxx might understand things better. Max had bought the books, so he read those to them. The kids’ books for kids learning about death. In Dutch and English. Max couldn’t tell if it helped. They were so young.

The kids seemed to stop expecting their parents to appear. Stopped asking where they were. Sometimes they cried, especially at night, without being able to say what was wrong.

Max held them and said he loved them.

Pascale stood there supportively. She knew what to tell Max, and the kids liked her.

She gave good hugs.

Max wished Charles was there.

The doctor’s visit was fine. The kids were healthy. They did not have any allergies. Sleep irregularities were normal. They had all their shots. The administrator would send their records to a new doctor in Monaco whenever they found one.

They went for ice cream after the doctor's office. Max sent a few pictures to Charles.

*****Max*****

Max watched qualifying and the race with Jaxx.

Who asked more than once why Max wasn’t racing.

Pascale took Mila in and out of the room when she wanted, but Jaxx watched the whole thing. Or, at least he stayed in the room the whole time. Some of it he spent playing with his cars, but he would still look up when the announcers sounded excited. Max suspected that Pascale enjoyed the distraction during the race.

George got pole, but Hamilton won.

Max wondered if Hamiton was glad Max wasn’t there, or sorry he didn’t get the chance to beat Max too. Because the man definitely thought he could.

Hamilton’s record of at least one win each season he competed in was saved.

Checo got second.

Sebastien Buemi got them eight points for his sixth place. Not that they needed it. Already had the Constructors Championship won.

And people were probably talking about how insulting it was that neither of the Alpha Tauri drivers took Max’s place. But Pierre would be in an Alpine soon, and they didn’t seem interested in seeing Yuki in the car. They’d probably say they didn’t want to rush him. Max didn’t think he had a seat mold made for the Red Bull.

The second place would be big for Checo trying to place second in WDC standings. Would be bad for Charles, Max’s mind supplied.

A double podium for Mercedes, and Charles finished not only off the podium, but behind his teammate. Fourth and fifth place for the Ferraris.

Some people might think Charles was distracted.

Or maybe the track was just good for Mercedes.

Carlos was a decent driver who could have the occasional great drives, but Ferrari was stupid not to play favorites. Everyone behind Charles finished a lap down, so Ferrari could have switched their cars to give Charles the points for his second place in the championship battle. There was literally zero risk, and there wasn’t even a podium on the line, and the points were no different to Ferrari. It was stupid not to do it. Carlos would have hated it, and maybe said no. Carlos never accepted that he was a number two driver. Which was also Ferrari’s fault. He wasn’t good enough to be given equal priority. 

Daniel finished the race a respectable seventh, ahead of his own teammate.

Max wasn’t sure how many times that had happened that year.

But Lando was great, and that McLaren was shit to drive. Maybe it was easier for Lando, who had never driven for another team.

Max didn’t know what was going to happen to Daniel next year. He didn’t talk about it with Daniel. He did text Daniel sometimes. And Lando. When he was texting other friends. He texted Daniel that he had a good race. Max didn’t regularly text with anyone else who would want to hear that. He wasn’t even really sure if Daniel would want to hear it, with his little collision. But Daniel wouldn’t complain, given the situation.

Max thought about texting Charles about how Ferrari was stupid not to switch their cars, but he would wait until their call.

It was late by the time the race was over. Really, it was late before the race started, but Jaxx wanted to watch, and Mila didn’t want to go to bed without Jaxx, so it was just a late night for them.

Max wasn’t tired. It wasn’t like he had driven a race distance, and he was not usually able to sleep after that. And he had told Charles that he could call after Charles was free, and Max would still be awake.

And Max had a lot of people in his phone who insisted they wanted to hang out whenever he wanted. Really, it would probably make them all a lot less worried about him. He was fine.

Max wanted to sim race. Healthy, responsible. And people he knew could join him if they wanted.

Max’s dad’s sim wasn’t as good as Max’s at home, but it was fine. Max had always used it when he was there.

Of the people Max texted… every one of them joined.

They didn’t stream it, but he saw his sim racing friends and coworkers. Maybe all of them were friends. Or could be if Max tried. The same could be said of a few more F1 drivers. Not all of them. But many of them were alright. Pierre did show up with those toys. Though, that was probably because Charles asked. Pierre and Max had been friendly to each other as teammates, even though Pierre had a hard time in the seat.

Mick was nice. He got everyone to sign a card. All the drivers, and another one that had clearly been passed around Red Bull. People who didn’t sign their name all the time actually had legible signatures, so Max recognized several engineers’ names.

It was nice to be behind the wheel. He hadn’t done that enough lately. He had been busy. And… maybe avoiding his father’s sim room a bit. Like he had not gone in his father’s bedroom. Why would he go there?

If they could just get past this funeral, they could find some sort of new normal.

His guest room- that used to be P’s room- was going to be a bedroom for both of them. They seemed to prefer sharing a bed for now already. And they could get separate beds when they wanted to use them. Max could move his sim and make that another bedroom when they needed, or buy a bigger place.

Lorenzo and Arthur were getting the room ready… which was just another thing to add to the list of Leclercs being… unnaturally helpful. Lorenzo promised no Ferrari decorations.

Ferrari probably wouldn’t like Verstappen.com put on Arthur’s helmet or car. Red Bull probably wouldn’t like it either. He could just be a silent sponsor.

Max honestly wouldn’t mind if there were some Ferrari decorations. If it made Mila happy. It wasn’t like he had a problem with Ferrari as a team any more than any other opponent. And he owned a Ferrari himself. He’d looked at getting another. A red one, like he hadn’t let himself get the first time.

When Charles finally called for their post race debrief, he warned that he was on a plane, and Pierre was with him. That was okay. Other people were sometimes around for their discussions. Really, if he was on a plane, it was surprise that he only mentioned Pierre. Or, maybe he thought only Pierre was relevant, and there weren’t any other drivers around.

Max would have expected Charles to spend a night in Mexico resting. He wouldn’t get any sleep on the plane, and then he’d arrive in Europe exhausted when another day had barely started.

But that wasn’t any of Max’s business. Maybe Charles had found some routine to help him sleep. They hadn’t flown together in a long time.

Pierre said hello, and waved a hand inside the frame of the Zoom call, but didn’t interrupt or contribute to their debrief after that. Video chats from a laptop were ideal, as hand gestures were really required for racing discussions.

During the race, Max had been able to have the main broadcast on the television, and whatever onboards he wanted on his laptop. It was natural that he mostly watched Charles, since he knew he would be having this discussion with Charles.

“Max, you should go to sleep,” Charles told him.

They hadn’t even talked about turn six.

“Will you be able to sleep?” Max asked.

“I think that is even more reason for you to get sleep.”

“Are you- flying here?” Max asked.

Perhaps it was a silly question. Of course Charles was coming there.

Without even stopping in Monaco, probably.

As quickly as he could, without spending the night getting good rest after he’d raced in a Grand Prix.

Because Max needed help.

“Yes? Was that not- is that okay?” Charles asked.

Max did need help.

“Of course it’s okay. Mila and Jaxx will be happy to see you. They might make it hard for you to sleep.”

“It is better to stay up and force getting on schedule,” Charles brushed off.

Max yawned. Which meant he was tired enough not to notice and stop it.

“Sleep, Max. I will see you tomorrow. Good night.”

*****Charles*****

“Am I allowed to ask?” Pierre asked as soon as Charles hung up the Zoom call.

“What?”

“Obviously you know what.”

“I always talk with Max after a race.”

“Calamar, I have been very patient. I get kids toys and do what you ask with no questions. I am here. Going to Belgium.”

“You didn’t have to come.”

“I was always going to the funeral. And you’re paying for this flight. Unless Ferrari is? Will they pay if you go somewhere that is not Italy or Monaco? Or are you making Max pay for it?”

“I am not accepting Max’s money.”

“You should. He gets paid much more than you.”

“I get paid more than enough.”

“I know. You get paid much more than me.”

“You will make more next year at Alpine than I made this year.”

“And your salary will go up further. And it should. You are getting better results than they deserve, and Ferrari can afford it. They should have upgraded the car well, and then you would be world champion instead of Max. Who we are not done talking about!”

“We weren’t really talking about Max.”

“Yes we were!”

“We are going to his father’s funeral.”

“Yes, and I am not staying at his house before then like you will.”

“I don’t know if I will be invited to stay,” Charles pointed out. “I don’t know if he has room.”

“You don’t think there is room? For little you? In his big bed?”

“Pierre!”

“I am being patient, Calamar, and you are not saying anything. You know I would not tell anyone. How long has this been going on? And I do know a little something about people judging who you are dating. I’ve gotten a lot of shit for dating a nineteen-year-old. I wish we were not public until she turned twenty, at least. I know it is not the same thing, but you know I would not say.”

Oh.

Charles had not expected anyone to think that. Well, of course some people always thought people were dating with absolutely no evidence. Even if one or both of the people involved weren’t attracted to the other’s gender. That didn’t matter to fans, Charles knew very well. But he didn’t expect people who actually knew him to think… anything, really, other than that he was being helpful because he knew some of how Max felt. And he really did not expect that. That someone would think that not only were they dating, but that they must have been dating for some time to be that close. It was nice to know that Pierre would be supportive if that were the case, but obviously it was not. Also, if it was supposed to be very long, that would make Max lying about a relationship, or it would make Charles the ‘other man’, which he would never do. Even in a bizarre world where he was in a romantic relationship with Max.

“It’s not like that. I mean… Max and I were not very close, but- I found him. When he got the news. And I knew how to help. He’s been through a lot. And the kids. He needs help. And he is not very good at asking for it.”

“That is the truth?”

“Yes! You are not going to make this… something it isn’t. We are friends now, me and Max. And my mother will be watching the kids. So I am… a family friend.”

“So I should not read anything into that Max opened the door without a shirt?”

“You are shirtless around the house all the time! There is nothing weird going on be-”

“Nothing weird? No, no. You can say that weird is good, but you cannot say the two of you are not weird. People do not usually just… go from friendly arch rival competitors to… whatever you are. But maybe people should. Helping your fellow man and whatever. Sorry for… making it weirder, I guess. Also, I should have known. You are much too young for him.”

“I’m only two weeks younger than him,” Charles objected.

Max had called him three weeks younger before, but it was much closer to two.

Charles felt all of twelve for a moment, when Pierre had just turned fourteen and was testing single seaters, and was teasing Charles for being so young.

“Have you seen who Max dates? I think he was dating someone your age when he was seventeen.”

“I don’t think Dilara was much older than him. Less than a year older, I think.”

“But she was older. And the other women who did not last for long were much older. And you’re younger. It would never work.”

“Sure. That is why it would never work.”

Charles appreciated Pierre’s sense of humor. He was glad Pierre insisted he come along.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Charles arrived almost as soon as a plane could possibly get across the ocean.

It was still morning.

Jaxx got to the door first and opened it, which he needed to be taught not to do, unless an adult approved the door opening. P wasn’t allowed to open outside doors. Which didn’t mean she didn’t do it. Max’s last address was spread across twitter or instagram or something, and they worried about crazy fans. Or crazy not fans. Even though he had security. He had even more security at his current place.

“Hello, Jaxx,” Max heard just before he could see the other man.

“Charles!” Mila shouted from somewhere behind Max, but she made it to the door before him. She was holding her Ferrari horse.

“Hello, Mila,” Charles greeted, scooping her up when Mila demanded it with raised arms.

“Hello, Max,” he said.

“Where are your things?” Max asked instead of any sort of normal greeting.

“In the car. I did not want to assume I could stay?”

“Your mother is here. She made breakfast,” Max said instead. “Victoria and my mother are coming later this morning.”

“Oh? Are we helpful here, or in the way? We can go to a hotel. Thank you for letting Maman stay as long as you did. And Lorenzo. He said it was lovely.”

Like it was such a kind thing for Max to let them take care of things. Things they did not need to be doing. Even though Max was paying Pascale. Would be paying Pascale. With back pay, of course.

“Of course you both can stay. And I think Mila would want to go with you if you leave,” Max said.

It wasn’t entirely a joke. Mila had laid her head down on Charles’s shoulder, completely at ease with the other man.

Jaxx, not to be left out, pulled on the end of Charles’s shirt.

“Kart,” he announced.

“Oh? Is there a kart here?” Charles asked.

Jaxx nodded. 

“Jaxx has his own kart,” Max clarified. He was young for it, so Charles wouldn’t have assumed.

“Oh, I am very excited to see it! Do you need shoes?” Charles asked.

Jaxx clearly thought about it.

“Schoenen?” Max prompted, in case Jaxx didn’t know the word.

Jaxx copied Mila, raising his arms up to Charles. Asking to be carried so he wouldn’t need shoes.

Asking Charles.

Because he wanted to show Charles the kart. Max had already seen it many times in the last days. Jaxx liked to go sit in it and pretend to drive. Max should take him to a track. Probably he could convince any place to let Jaxx’s race despite his age just because it was Max Verstappen asking.

But that would involve talking to people Max didn’t want to talk to. And then probably talking to and taking pictures for a lot of people that were there, and that just… sounded exhausting. Max never usually minded signing and pictures for kids. He didn’t like saying no to them, so he usually did it even when he did not want to.

If Charles was there, he would do the talking and Max wouldn’t have to, so maybe they would go.

Charles smiled and leaned over to grab Jaxx while still holding Mila.

Charles adjusted them to have one child against each hip. Which… his hips did not flare enough to more naturally rest a child there like some women did. His hips were relatively narrow, the ‘v’ shape of his torso. But he managed anyway.

“I will get very strong carrying you both,” Charles said.

“I can get Jaxx,” Max offered.

“I can do it. Where do we go?” Charles asked Jaxx.

Jaxx pointed in the right direction.

Pascale stopped them briefly in the kitchen. She and Charles exchanged kisses on each cheek. It was a practical greeting when arms were occupied.

She told him he needed to sleep, Max was pretty sure. And Charles responded that he needed to stay awake, Max was sure he understood. It was what a lot of people did to get adjusted.

Max followed them out to see the kart again.

They met King first, as soon as they stepped out of the house.

“Oh! Hello, King. I was looking forward to meeting you,” Charles said.

King rested his front paws on Charles’s legs. Which Max assumed was against obedience training. Spyke hadn’t done it. But maybe it would not have been comfortable for his back. His long body and short legs. King wasn’t much bigger, but was built differently.

“Such a sweet doggie,” Charles praised. Max knew Charles would be on the ground with the dog already if he had a free hand.

“King, sit,” Max ordered. Charles’s sweatpants were probably expensive. Fortunately, King was good and sat. 

“Oh, such a good boy,” Charles cooed. It was… endearing. 

Jaxx tapped on Charles’s shoulder. Wanting his attention back. Even though Jaxx liked the dog. “Kart,” Jaxx insisted. 

“Yes, thank you. I want to see it.” 

“Oh, it is so nice. I like the blue color. It is electric?” Charles observed, looking over at Max, who nodded. “It is very nice, Jaxx,” Charles repeated.

“It’s easier to maintain,” Max said. “And probably what more of the racing will be by the time Jaxx’s old enough for real competitions. If he wants to do competitions,” Max added.

That would be Max’s responsibility to help with if Jaxx wanted it. To at least set him up with a coach. A coach who would push but not too much. Not as much as their dad would have if he decided to give Jaxx’s racing that attention. It was too soon to know if he had talent. He had not driven much. If he was not good and just wanted to do it for fun, that was okay. But it would need a different approach. One that Max didn’t know how to do.

“Or if Mila wants to,” Max added.

“Beckfast,” Mila said. It sounded pretty good. She might have thought Max was asking her what she wanted. She was going to be as good at English as Dutch. They had spoken mostly English in the last few days with Pascale there. Mila would stop learning Dutch if Max stopped using it.

It wasn’t the most useful language, but...

He would think about it later.

“Yes, we can have breakfast,” Max reinforced the correct pronunciation without directly correcting her. He hoped that was good.

Pascale was plating everything when they walked to the kitchen and table.

Charles burst into quick French that Max understood enough to know that he was surprised and complimentary about breakfast. Bread was mentioned.

Pascale responded to him that she made a Dutch breakfast. That wasn’t hard to understand.Which… Max hadn’t particularly realized that there was something unusual about it. Max didn’t usually have breakfast. It could be called intermittent fasting or laziness. Saving calories for the better meals and for alcohol. Not that he counted calories except when he was really cutting weight- and that was on prepackaged meals someone else made. Usually he just kept vaguely aware of what he ate. When he did have breakfast, it was usually eggs, because it was easy to make and in his diet plan. Or protein yogurt from the fridge was even easier. He hadn’t thought of any sort of breakfast being particularly from anywhere. He had had cereal or eggs as a kid. And sometimes a special treat. He’d mostly eaten Pascale’s eggs, but he had sampled other things. She made toast and had jams, and there was also Nutella. Or meat and cheese could go with the breads.

It was a lot of choices. A lot of work. More this day, probably because more people were coming over, including Charles, but the other days had had options too. And Max hadn’t been properly grateful. Especially when Charles seemed surprised enough that this wasn’t something normal to him.

“Pascale, you do not have to do so much,” Max said.

“Food for family.” 

Max wasn’t going to win this argument, and the food was already cooked anyway. 

“Thank you,” Max said instead. 

Charles had put the kids at the table in front of what Max was sure was the correct plates for them that Pascale had arranged. Of course, it was not difficult to tell them apart with Mila’s plastic plate was pink. Max knew it had a horse on it.

Pascale handed Max a plate with mostly eggs and a piece of bread. It was a fancy spiced bread.

“Merci,” Max responded. Pascale smiled and herded him to the table. Charles had a plate with just toast. He was helping Jaxx with jam.

Pascale also only had toast on her own plate. She positioned herself on the end next to Mila, while Charles was between the kids.

With the kids not needing more help, Max sat on the other side of the table across from Charles.

He took a bite of eggs first so he could honestly compliment.

“This is good, Pascale, thank you.”

“Sweet boy,” she responded.

“Are you sure there will be room for us when your family gets here?” Charles asked.

His dad had a big house.

Max had always lived in big enough houses, but not this big. His dad bought after his share of Max’s salary and bonuses made him much more wealthy.

Max owed it to him, of course, financing his junior career and everything else.

There was a room Max always stayed in, but it wasn’t really Max’s room.

There weren’t any personal belongings there. Some clothes, yes, but nothing else.

Kelly hadn’t wanted to come, so she and P had never come with Max.

Kelly had been perfectly comfortable with P being with Max’s mother, but not his father.

Kelly’s father might be a little rough around the edges. He might say things that might not be politically correct… might even be offensive. But he loved his children and taught them how to protect themselves.

“My nephews can go in Mila’s room. Victoria has a room, and Jaye has a room, which her mother can share, and there are two guest rooms, so one for each of you.”

“What about your mother?” Charles asked.

Oh. His mother had came to this house before when they were all here, but she always went to a hotel to sleep. Which Max paid for. Because she wouldn't want to stay in his father’s house, and his father and Sandy wouldn’t want her there. But his father and Sandy weren’t there.

“Tom is not coming yet, so she can share with Victoria. Or, Jaye is not coming yet either. There is plenty of room.”

“You don’t need to get another bed dirty for me. I can share with Maman.”

Right. That was obviously how that sentence was going to end. Charles sharing with his mother.

There were so many rooms in the damn house that-

Oh.

“You can stay in my father’s room. I- I should have thought of it sooner.”

That room had never been available before.

Fuck.

He just hadn’t thought about there being another empty fucking room in the damn house. It was too big. It was ridiculous.

“I am fine sharing with Maman. But… if you want help looking at the room, I can help,” Charles offered.

Another empty fucking room.

“Thanks.”

Charles got his things from the car after breakfast. He said he didn’t need help, and set them in the room his mother had been using. Pascale said she would do his laundry, and Charles said he could do it, though he gave in at second offer.

“Do you need anything?” Max asked. Anything besides to sleep, since Charles didn’t want to do that. “Do you need clothes for the funeral? I- don’t have those here, so I will need to get something.” Maybe just rent something. 

“Lorenzo will bring me options. He has been to your place as well, getting the room ready, yes? He could bring you a suit? Or… jeans and shirt? Maybe with a coat? I read it was more casual here and not as many suits? If you want to buy new, I could go shopping with you? Or for you if you cannot?”

Charles had read about Dutch funerals. Max hadn’t been to many funerals.

“Can you go to a suit store that is not Armani?”

“I can, yes, but we could get you an Armani. They are the best. I just want to be respectful of customs. I could not believe you got knighted in jeans. Sorry, I shouldn’t-”

“I had a jacket,” Max objected. He didn’t bother correcting the word ‘knight’. Officer of the Order of Orange-Nassau was too much to say all the time. Not that Max talked about it all the time. Or almost ever.

“Yes, it looked very nice,” Charles said because he was nice. “And I like the suit you wear to award ceremonies. It is different. I hope to see it in person there this year.”

Charles had noticed Max wearing the same suit a few times. And he expected that Max would wear it again and didn’t judge that.

“To my grandfather’s funeral, I wore the same black jacket as the knight ceremony but black jeans instead of blue. That is good enough. They are hanging in the closet together. If Lorenzo could bring them, thank him for me.”

“Of course,” Charles said, more seriously. “I- did not mean to tease,” he said nervously.

“It is fine. I appreciate it. Victoria has clothes for the kids, so they should be fine.”

Fine for clothes.

Not fine that both of their parents had died.

“You are doing very well, Max.”

“Thank you.”

Max was nervous for his mother and sister to arrive. It did not make sense because they were the people he was closest to. Them and his father- before he died, obviously- and Raymond, his manager.

Max’s mother had offered to come days earlier. To come as soon as Max got there.

It was weird that he had told her she didn’t need to come early, when he had someone else’s mother doing household chores. Which Max said Pascale didn’t need to do. And he still needed to set up how to pay her. That was the sort of thing someone else would usually plan for him.

It was nice, feeling his mother’s hug.

Max’s mother greeted Charles’s mother after she finally let go of Max.

“Pascale!” she said, greeting her with a hug and the cheek almost kisses. And then she started talking in French. His mother didn’t speak French much around Max. Only when he had needed help with it in school. She was from the more Dutch part of Belgium, but she knew both.

Max caught ‘three handsome men’. Obviously about Pascale’s sons.

Max supposed parents talked at karting sometimes, but Max hadn’t expected so familiar a greeting. She hugged and air kissed Charles after, and Charles didn’t look uncomfortable. 

His mother finally turned to the kids and asked them in Dutch if they were excited to see Luka and Lio.

Jaxx nodded appropriately, and Mila sort of stared into the distance. But she was little enough that people didn’t expect much.

Max wasn’t sure if Mila and Jaxx would know Max’s mother. He certainly didn’t know what they should call her.

“This is my mother. Do you remember her?” Max asked.

Jaxx nodded, even though Max wasn’t sure if it was very true. Mila looked at Jaxx before nodding like him.

Max hoped it wasn’t bad to mention mothers. It seemed different than talking about Charles’s mother somehow, but that did not actually make sense.

Max did not really know Jaxx and Mila’s mother. They had briefly talked on the phone often, but never past surface conversation. They had seen each other sometimes, but Max was well out of the house before she got together with his dad. He couldn’t pick stories to tell the kids about her, because he didn’t know them. But he would learn. He had phone numbers. They would visit with their other family. Their aunt- and her husband. Their cousins. Unfortunately no grandparents on that side. Or maybe fortunate, because they didn’t have to see their daughter dead. 

Max’s mother praised Pascale’s breakfast, and offered to help with lunch, and didn’t act like it was weird that she and Charles were there, and Max appreciated it. Probably she was glad that Max wasn’t going to ask her to half-raise the kids. Being a grandmother seemed like the amount of kid interaction she wanted in her life. She would be with Victoria sometimes, but not all the time. 

Victoria arrived around the time Pascale and Max’s mother had lunch ready. Max and Charles had been told they could not help. Pascale criticized Charles’s cooking in French, Max was sure, but it was with a smile, and Charles protested but wasn’t offended.

Max went outside to greet Victoria and help bring in the children. Charles followed, holding Mila, who had not put on shoes. He grabbed the largest bag of Victoria’s things, and Max grabbed another and Luka.

Everyone said Luka looked like Max, which Max was fairly sure meant people thought the boy was odd-looking.

Max thought he’d grow out of it. Features changed over time when parts of the face caught up.

Max hadn’t been weird looking as a kid, but he was as a teenager and adult. Max was pretty sure Luka’s features actually more resembled Luka’s fathers’, and he’d become a very normal looking man, with probably a nice smile.

Max knew some people on the internet thought Max was attractive, but he had a lot of very committed fans. He had also seen the Sid from Ice Age comparisons. Anyone who did not think one of the Ferrari drivers was the most handsome just did not like Ferrari. Or maybe they preferred another race. Lewis was not bad looking if they did not mind that he would probably be bald without lots of money doing whatever he did, the 'not hair transplants'. Or little Yuki if someone did not mind short, baby faced men. It was a look.

Victoria hugged Max for a long time. They didn’t say anything, but it was good.

She would always be there.

She hadn’t been there for some years when they were growing up, but that wasn’t her decision.

Max could have been with her. But then he probably wouldn’t be a Formula One driver. A Formula One two time World Champion.

Victoria turned to Charles and hugged him and Mila too. She brushed a hand over Mila’s hair. Pascale had put it up in the little pigtails.

“Thank you for helping him,” She said. “You are a good man. I want my husband to meet you too. Did you know you were my first crush?” she asked.

Charles’s eyes went wide.

“No! Really?”

“Victoria, do you really-” Max started, not even knowing what he was saying.

“It is many years past to be embarrassed. But I always had good tastes. Good boys. And you were so cute. The Justin Bieber hair. The shorter haircuts after that were more grown up. And you were a bit older than me. It was all perfect, of course.”

“My mother always cuts my hair. She is very good,” Charles said, happy to brag on his mother.

Victoria knelt down to let Lio and Jaxx see each other.

“Hello Jaxx, are you going to play with Luka and Lio after lunch?” she asked. Even though Lio was too little to really play. Jaxx nodded anyway.

Luka squirmed to be let down, and Max let him.

Sitting down to lunch was comfortable. A relief. That… everything came together. Except Jaye was still missing, of course, but everyone else. Maybe it was the most comfortable he’d ever been in the house. Which was the sort of thought he knew he should feel guilty for having. He… he loved his dad. Family was important. Just… it was not always comfortable.

Victoria acted as normal about Charles and Pascale being there as their mother had. Max appreciated it.

Mila and Jaxx spent most of the afternoon showing Victoria and the boys around the house and all of their toys- which Victoria knew but Luka probably didn’t remember, and Lio was too young to appreciate. And some playing with the dog.

Max tried to make note of Jaxx and Mila’s favorite toys. He didn’t know what he was going to do with the house, or Jaxx’s kart, or anything that required major planning, but Max would need to take enough of their favorite toys to move with them to Monaco.

And it was good to have a task, accomplishing something that didn’t make him think too much.

In the late afternoon, Charles asked if Max wanted to work out with him. Max knew he needed it. He’d done a couple Zoom calls with Brad, but Brad was going easier on him. Because he had a dead dad.

Charles, on the other hand, did not need to be working out at all. He usually could not sleep on planes, so Charles had maybe not slept since he was in a Formula One race. But he asked. Charles asked it like he was going to be doing it anyway, and offered Max to join.

Victoria came in and walked/jogged on the treadmill while Max was lifting weights, and Charles had moved to the elliptical. She said she so appreciated their mothers watching the kids and cooking, but Max suspected she also appreciated a shirtless and sweaty Charles Leclerc she walked in to find. Probably Victoria was also grateful Max kept his shirt on.

Really, Charles was pushing himself too much. Surely that was not his normal process the day after a race? Of course it wasn’t. None of this was his normal.

By the time they finished working out, there was time for showers and then dinner. Not too late dinner because of the kids.

It was good to be physically tired from a workout, instead of the sort of tired from too little sleep, or from too many emotions.

*****Max*****

Jaye and her mother arrived the day before the funeral.

Jaye had looked happy when Max opened the door. Until she hugged Max and started sobbing.

Jaye would probably take this the hardest.

Eight years old.

Old enough to understand.

Not old enough to… handle it? 

Was Max handling it? He was, mostly.

He didn’t feel like he needed to go through some five stages of grief that someone made up.

His only thought of denial came when that counselor mentioned a tattoo as a way to identify the body. He hadn’t realized Sandy had one. Or maybe… maybe in that time he couldn’t entirely account for before Charles found him. That wasn’t normal. Or maybe it was.

Anger didn’t do any good. Bargaining with lawyers for custody didn’t count. Depression, he… well, hell if he knew about that one. All of those stages made much more sense in a long, drawn out process. A terminal illness. There was nothing to bargain over when it had already happened.

But he could help Jaye with whatever her process was.

Hopefully her mother was doing alright handling it.

Jaye had only good memories of their father, Max thought. Or at least mostly. She had never been in a kart, so there wasn’t pressure there. Those were the only real fights that Victoria and his father ever had. When he would spend so much time preparing the kart only to have her stop after five laps.

Jaye’s mother left their father when she was young. She got weekend visits and vacations, but those were good behavior times. He did have good times, most of the time.

“I am here,” Max said. It was the best thing he could think of to say. “I will be here,” he promised. Max held her for as long as she wanted.

Jaye brightened up when meeting Charles. She knew who he was, even if Max didn’t think they had met. She spoke some decent French to him. Slow, simple conversation that Max understood all of, but probably better than Max could pronounce. Charles spoke slowly back to her.

Jaye was the right age for first crushes, Max remembered. It wouldn’t be the strangest thing to guess. Maybe it would be something that she and Victoria would laugh about, years later, when they were old enough to be friends. Or maybe he was just a cool Formula One driver to her. It wasn’t really until Max’s dad had been out of Formula One for a while that Max realized just how cool it was to have a Formula One driver father. It had been too normal to him to really notice before then. But Jaye was older than Max had been. She watched the races and also all the youtube videos. Whenever Max drove some weird vehicle for marketing, Jaye wanted to talk about it. Probably she watched the silly videos that teams other than Red Bull made too.

Maybe one day they would watch F1 together live. After Max was retired, and she would tell him her favorite drivers. Maybe they were in karting now.

Jaye’s mother cornered Max later, when Jaye was with Victoria.

Kelly. There was no reason not to think of her as Kelly again. His first stepmother had been the one Max associated the name with long before he even met Kelly Piquet.

“I am sorry I was not a mother to you, ” she said.

Whatever Max would expect, that wasn’t it.

“I- what? I had a mother.”

“But you were still young, and I was there, and we were strangers in the same house. You seemed so grown up. So serious in your racing.”

“I was,” Max agreed.

Kelly shook her head. “You were a child, and your father was harsh to you, and I didn’t say anything.”

Max didn’t want to deal with that. It wasn’t as bad for Max as people acted like sometimes. And it was over. Max had been a grown man for a long time. And now he was a grown man with a dead dad.

“That… you didn’t do anything wrong,” Max said. “I made my own choice. I could have gone with my mother.”

“That is not much of a choice. I am glad you have become a good man. Better than I thought you would. I am so impressed with how you took on those children. I can be comfortable knowing you would do the same thing for Blue Jaye.”

“Of course,” Max said easily. Legally, it might be more difficult. He still needed to find anything about Belgian adoption law. Since the Netherlands had a stupid arbitrary requirement of being eighteen years older than the adopted child. Or, he could ask his lawyers when they were less busy. But he would manage taking care of Jaye if he needed to. “Jaye is my little sister. If you need anything for her that my dad would have paid for- school or anything- I will of course do it.”

“I know. Thank you Max. I will not ask for too much.”

“I mean it. And I want to see her, and for her to see the little ones. We are still family.”

“Thank you, Max.”

“Will you and Jaye be comfortable in her room?” Max asked.

“Oh, we are just going to get a hotel. You have so many people-”

“No! I mean… this is Jaye’s home too. As much as any of us. More than it is mine.”

“It’s not a problem. Jaye’s room only has one twin bed, and I can’t-”

“You can have my father’s room,” Max said quickly. He remembered the solution that time. “If you don’t mind.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“If you don’t want to have the room, I understand. You can have my room, and I’ll-”

“No, I’ll take it. Thank you, Max.”

Had Max messed up?

Did Kelly feel like she had to save Max from staying in his dead dad’s room?

“Of course, if you would prefer a hotel, I would pay for it. Or if you think Jaye would sleep better in a hotel, that is fine.” Giving her outs. Having it be to protect Jaye instead of herself.

She’d never lived in this house. It shouldn’t have bad memories.

“No, I would like her to be here. With family. Thank you, Max.”

Tom arrived mid afternoon. He laughed off being introduced to his wife’s first crush. Tom was a good guy. Luka was glad to see his dad, and Max thought Lio was too.

Mila and Jaxx couldn’t have that anymore. And Jaye was far too young to be missing a parent as well.

Maybe there wasn’t ever a good age, but Max was sure it was better for him than for them.

Or something was wrong with Max to feel it less.

But Max had gotten to keep his father longer than Charles had.

Lorenzo appeared in the evening, in a rented car and holding clothes for Charles and Max.

Max still hadn’t even gotten someone to set up paying Pascale, and Lorenzo was making special trips across countries and continents for him. Probably he intended to be in America longer on vacation like Max’s family had intended. Or maybe he’d planned to go to Mexico with Charles.

“Thank you. You should eat.”

Lorenzo smiled. “Don’t worry about me, Max. I am fine.”

“You can- come in?” Max invited, holding the door open wider.

“Thank you. Where can I put these?” Lorenzo asked. Right, Max should have taken them.

“Anywhere is fine. You should come have some dinner. It’s a bit… less organized when we stopped all fitting at the table. The kids have eaten but most of us haven’t.”

The kids should be getting to bed soon.

Jaye seemed to enjoy being the leader of the little ones in the pretend games they played. She was big enough to carry Lio too. Not that they went out of sight of an adult. There were certainly enough adults around.

“Thank you,” Lorenzo responded.

Max’s mother was there as soon as Max turned around.

She hugged Lorenzo and kissed near his cheeks.

Which… was a normal greeting that Max shouldn’t think anything of. Lorenzo didn’t seem to mind.

Max’s mother took over leading Lorenzo into the house.

She was not flirting with Lorenzo, was she? That would be weird.

She spoke to Charles’s and Lorenzo’s mother in French that was definitely about her handsome sons again, like she’d done when she first arrived.

Lorenzo had just started eating from the plate Pascale handed him when Victoria started questions.

“Where are you staying, Lorenzo?”

Long seconds of chewing and swallowing, because Lorenzo had better manners than Max.

Someone shouldn’t ask a question of someone eating if they weren’t prepared for that someone to talk with a full mouth. It was just impractical.

“I will get a hotel just for the night. I am going back to Monaco tomorrow night.”

“Oh, no, you can stay here, of course. We have already taken your family. You should join us,” Victoria welcomed.

The Leclerc brothers were making eye contact. Max had never been good at silent communication. He believed in talking.

“That is too kind. I already spent some time here, because Max was so kind. But now there is so much family here. And I know the kids would rather see Charles and our mother. Thank you for letting them stay. Really, it is only one night.”

“You should stay. There is plenty of room here,” Victoria announced. Which Max thought was pushing the truth. There were a lot of people in the house. And Victoria wouldn’t be the one who would end up on a couch. But she was right that there was technically room in beds. If they could just be rearranged- without forcing Jaye into her dead dad’s bedroom, because that wasn’t happening. And Max going there didn’t take up an extra space there, but it did free his room for two people. It was an option. Or, Max’s mother and Pascale got along well. Maybe Max’s mother could share with Pascale so that Charles and Lorenzo… “Charles can share with Max,” Victoria announced.

Oh.

“That’s fine,” Max agreed.

“Are you… he- or we- can get a hotel,” Charles repeated. “Obviously I don’t mind paying for-”

“Lorenzo, if you don’t mind staying with your mother- if Charles ah… doesn’t mind staying with me,” Max added. “You are welcome to stay.”

“Are you sure?” Charles asked.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t done it before.

Just not so planned.

Or with a large audience.

Including his sister who had suggested it.

“Yes,” Max repeated.

“Okay. Thank you,” Charles answered.

“Thank you,” Lorenzo repeated.

*****Max*****

Maybe it was nice to have something to think about that wasn’t his father’s funeral the next day.

It shouldn’t be weird, considering they’d shared a bed before.

Charles thanked him an unreasonable number of times considering that Charles and his family were there helping Max, and a place to stay for the night was an expense not worth mentioning to a Formula One driver.

Charles was part of the bedtime routine Max did with the kids. Probably later than it should have been, but they would survive.

Survive.

That word would not stop reminding him of the stupid Netflix show.

Max was not going to talk to Netflix about his family, but they’d probably get someone to do it. Maybe Max should tell Christian exactly what he was okay with Christian saying, because they’d find someone who would. Or maybe they wouldn’t be allowed to talk about kids without permission. Probably he should ask a lawyer, not Christian.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Funerals sucked.

There were too many people there.

Too many of them probably there to see Max who didn’t actually know Max, which sucked more.

His dad would like that many people being there.

His dad wouldn’t have wanted to be dead at fifty.

Did people always react more to sudden deaths? Was it that it was not natural causes? Was it because no one could say that he suffered a long time and was better at rest, or whatever shit they said? Or was it just because was still famous, and they would have reacted the same if it was a long, public battle with cancer. He was famous here. Even more so because of Max. But Max’s dad had been a big deal himself in the Netherlands. And they were close enough to there now.

Comparatively far fewer people were there for Sandy, Max was sure, but the ceremony was all together. Victoria had offered for them to be separate, but Sandy’s sister approved it.

Might as well get it over with.

Jaxx had been quiet all day, as soon as Max got him in his little suit jacket and dark jeans that Victoria picked out. He clearly knew he had to be on best behavior, but he didn’t really understand why, and it scared him. He clung to Max’s leg.

Max turned to a noise next to him.

Mila was standing on the bench, leaning over the back of it, arms outstretched, reaching for Charles.

Always looking for Charles.

Maybe it was strange that Max wasn’t jealous.

It must be a thing for the girls in their family, even if Mila was far, far too young to see Charles as anything but a nice adult.

It would be easier for everyone involved to give her what she wanted.

Charles looked apologetic as Max picked Mila up and passed her over. Whatever was easier for Mila was fine. She wouldn’t understand what was happening anyway.

Mila had asked where her mother was again that morning, the first time in a few days.

The priest- or whatever he was called- talked on and on, even though neither of them were religious. Max didn’t know what to think about all that. He was too… immediate for that.

He told the kids that morning that the funeral was to say goodbye to their parents. There hadn’t been any tears, because they didn’t understand. They said goodbye to people all the time when they were leaving for trips. Max had to say in a few different ways that they would not actually see their parents. That they were dead. Gone. Like the old dog in the book. And the old grandpa in the other book. Max wasn’t sure if any of the ways helped.

Maybe if there had been caskets with bodies instead of urns.

If the bodies had been fit to be shown. Seeing them as they were would definitely just traumatize them more. At some point they would be old enough to understand death. They didn’t need nightmares of their parents disfigured.

Max hadn’t had any nightmares.

He usually didn’t remember his dreams. He slept easily and soundly, whether anyone was next to him or not. But it was nice… having someone there that morning.

To help with the kids, mostly.

Max had wanted the priest to be done speaking, but, when he was done, Max wished he had kept going. Because then it was Max’s turn to speak.

Max planned a few points. He didn’t write it down, or practice the exact words, but he knew what he was going to say.

He had certainly had enough time to think about it.

“I don’t want to remember my father as someone he wasn’t. And everyone already knows many stories of him from my childhood. Stories that he would gladly repeat for interviews. He never hid how he felt, and he never apologized for it. And I think that was the best thing about him. What I know best about Sandy is that she loved her kids very, very much. And I promise to love them just as much. And that is all I can do.”

Sandy’s sister went after Max. Max tried to listen. He needed stories about Sandy to tell years from now. Vera called Sandy her baby sister, and cried. She spoke in Dutch, even though Max was sure her English was good, and everything else had been in English. A small amount of privacy, maybe. Probably only a few people there cared about Sandy. Or at least few people cared more than people cared about anyone who died suddenly and violently.

Victoria spoke after that. She said a little about Sandy, but more about their father. How much he loved his kids and grandkids. Which was true. It just… did not feel like him. Not like the man Max knew. He did not feel like a grandfather. Especially when he had kids as young as his grandkids. But, the same was true of Max’s grandfather. Danillo was not much older than Max, and his grandfather had not acted very grandfatherly. Max’s grandmother was much more grandmotherly. Like Pascale but old now.

It was weird that Max’s thoughts went to Pascale and not his own mother- who actually was a grandmother. His mother was a good grandmother to Victoria’s kids. She had been nice to P too, when they met. But she seemed… more like an aunt. Maybe because she was not so old. Maybe because she did not keep Victoria’s kids as much as Max’s grandmother had kept him and Victoria while their parents were traveling. Victoria had had the kids so young. So much younger than Max was now.

Aunt Gerda spoke next. About her and Max’s dad’s childhood. About her meeting Sandy and knowing she was the woman Jos would spend the rest of his life with. Max was pretty sure this was a lie. Max had not expected them to always be together. But people said nice lies about dead people.

Jaye was last. She looked so little walking up to the front. His father’s ex-wives weren’t speaking- Max wasn’t sure who had made that decision- but it was definitely for the best. His father’s half brother wasn’t speaking either.  Nor were Sandy’s nieces and nephew, Vera’s kids.

Max’s grandmother declined to speak too. Max felt bad for her. Almost as bad as he felt for Jaye, Jaxx, and Mila. It wasn’t the order things were supposed to happen. Not that Max wanted his grandmother to be gone. She was not even that old. She still lived by herself in her own home, and was mostly healthy, as far as Max knew.

Max remembered seeing that Charles’s grandmother died about a year after her son. Charles wrote that his dad would be happy to have his mother back.

There was definitely something broken in Max, because just thinking about Charles typing those words filled him with more emotion than anything that had happened at the funeral.

Max’s grandfather had been older, so it was normal that he was already dead. He and Max’s grandmother had been divorced for a long time, and he had married two other women after her before he died. Like Max’s dad. Max didn’t know him as well as Max knew his grandmother. Maybe being divorced from Verstappen men was what Max’s mother and her former mother-in-law bonded over, because Max knew they still talked sometimes.

Max was not the best grandson, because the one time he talked to his grandmother after her son died, he talked first about Jaxx and Mila. She didn’t seem to mind. She said she was proud of him, looking after the family.

Jaye was so little. Max had not thought enough about Jaye either. Just because she lived with her mother most of the time did not mean her life wasn’t drastically changed. 

Jaye’s mother had probably helped her write and practice her speech. Max had heard the first line sometime that morning, and he’d practically run in the opposite direction.

Maybe he had more emotions than he thought.

“My dad was a great racing driver. Even if he didn’t win as much as my brother Max. But what my dad was best at was supporting his kids to do whatever they wanted to do. Like how he supported Max. I want to be a photographer, or maybe a video game player. Probably not racing games, but they’re okay too. And my dad would play games with me and let me take pictures of him. I am glad I will always have so many pictures of him. And one day, a very long time from now, I will see him and Sandy in heaven. And I promise to be a good big sister. I learned how from my big brother and big sister.”

Fuck, Max didn’t want to cry.

Max hugged Jaye as she came back to them.

The priest talked for just a bit longer. Just long enough for Max to be under control again, and then it was over.

People stood up.

Charles passed Mila back.

Max stood with whatever family wanted to stand up there and shook hands or hugged people that came past to say hello. Max kept Mila in his arms, and Jaxx right next to him.

In Max’s opinion, it would have been nice if covid got rid of this part permanently. 

It wasn’t bad when he actually knew the person, but so much of it was a spectacle. This many people definitely didn’t know Sandy, and this many people definitely didn’t like Max’s father.

Charles was one of the first ones through, followed by Pascale, Lorenzo, Arthur and Pierre. And Carla, Arthur’s girlfriend. Charles and Pascale gave hugs to Max’s family members that they knew. Max kept hold of Mila, because she tried to go back to Charles when he hugged them. Like she thought the hug was him reaching to take her. She didn’t seem to mind staying with Max though. Lorenzo gave a shoulder squeeze that Arthur and Pierre copied. It was comforting.

Max remembered hearing that Pierre’s mother had been in a bad car crash. She’d been in the hospital for a long time, but she recovered. Max didn’t know how long ago that was now. Max had heard about it after she was healed, he thought. Max was fairly sure that Pierre saw it happen. Max hoped Pierre hadn’t been driving. But she was okay in the end, so that wasn’t the same thing at all.

Many people that Max knew from motorsports came past and shook his hand or grabbed his shoulder. A few hugs, especially from women, even some women Max didn’t know. Several more F1 drivers. Lando and Daniel came by together, and with Heidi. She was good for Daniel. Nyck, and his sister Seychelle. Seychelle. Her and Max’s thing had never been serious. Barely even a thing. George Russell had actually asked if it would bother Max if he asked out Seychelle. Because George intended them to be coworkers the next year, and he didn’t want paddock drama. Coworkers, he’d said, because George was so formal. Obviously, Max hadn’t cared.

Some people came through the line who Max had known for half of his life or more. Friends that he kept up with, and ones he didn’t.

He- he should pay them more attention. He- he would do better.

Some people were strangers, but not that many. Was there someone keeping the public back? Max didn’t know how a celebrity funeral went. Did people have to show ID to get in the inner area?

Kelly- Max’s Kelly- Max’s former Kelly- came through the line.

None of Max’s family had brought up Kelly, which Max appreciated.

Probably most people in attendance were surprised that Kelly wasn’t sitting with the family.

Kelly hadn’t brought P, which Max was very grateful for. She didn’t need to go to a funeral for someone who had never really been important to her life. She didn’t need to be part of the spectacle.

“We should get the kids together sometime,” Kelly told him.

“Yeah. That sounds nice.”

It did sound nice. When all of them were more settled. As long as it would not be too hard for P. Max wondered if P still asked about him. Probably. It hadn’t been that long since they broke up. It just seemed like forever with how much had happened.

Kelly gave him a hug and moved on.

There was cake and coffee after.

They could have done more, but that was tradition. It was all Max’s father and aunt planned for after their father’s funeral.

There were other rooms for the public for sure. Max knew too high of a percentage of the people in the room, and more looked familiar.

Max hoped none of them were reporters.

Probably good for there not to be alcohol.

If Max wasn’t trying to get drunk, there were things that tasted better than alcohol. Max wasn’t going to get drunk when he was responsible for little humans. Even though he knew that there were others around who would look after them. He wasn’t going to get drunk when he was the spectacle, and not for something good. Like winning a race or a World Championship. He knew he wasn’t going to stay away from alcohol forever. But he wasn’t going to depend on it to get through a difficult day. Because there were going to keep being a lot of difficult days.

The fact that he wanted a drink to make things feel easier probably meant that he shouldn’t have one. He would have some podium champagne at the next race.

Max got the kids out of their fancy clothes. He paid extra attention to Jaxx, who was being quieter than normal. Jaxx maybe still didn’t understand yet, but Max would be there when he did. And when Mila did.

Lorenzo left that night. And Jaye and her mother.

Jaxx cried when Jaye was leaving, and Mila cried, probably because Jaxx cried. Jaye cried too, just more quietly. And Max knew it wasn’t really about going home, or at least not mostly. Jaye hugged each of the family. Maybe she brightened a little waving at Charles. He spoke to her in slow French again, saying he hoped they met again.

It seemed strange to consider that they might not. Of course whenever Jaye next came to the paddock, she would see Charles. Or if she came to Monaco.

Except… that wasn’t how it had been before.

Maybe getting past the funeral was supposed to be getting past… crisis mode or something. And they would go back to… a little closer to normal between the two of them.

Pascale would be there, at least.

They had dinner. They all fit at the table again, barely. Victoria was busy with Lio, and Luka stuck close to Max. Tom smiled at them, so he probably wasn’t jealous. Charles was already sitting next to Jaxx, and Pascale next to Mila, so they were fine. Jax didn’t usually need much help eating, only if something needed to be cut up, really.

Victoria and Tom and their kids left after dinner. They didn’t have far to go home. There weren’t more tears, but maybe everyone was out of tears.

“Would you like me to stay or go?” Max’s mother asked him after Victoria left.

Privately. Jaxx had wanted to show Charles the kart again, and Mila was with them. And Pascale was cleaning in the kitchen. Which she shouldn’t be doing alone, or at all.

Though the other adults in the house did not understand Dutch, and Jaxx and Mila probably wouldn’t care about the conversation.

“Whatever you want, Mama.”

“You don’t have to raise those kids alone.”

“I’m not,” Max said automatically. Which… he said that very quickly. Without thinking. It was true, sort of. “I have hired Pascale to help. She has been very helpful.”

“And Charles,” his mother added.

“Yes, Charles has been very kind. And Lorenzo and Arthur. And Pierre Gasly also.” And some Ferrari employees that Max didn’t know that helped him because Charles asked.

“I am glad. I worried about you. After Kelly, and then your father.”

Kelly breaking up with him had been hard. But he didn’t think about her anymore. He actually thought of P more. When something of the kids reminded him of her. But she was not… she was never his, and he always knew that. She was his girlfriend’s daughter who was around him sometimes. Very sweet, and he enjoyed playing with her, but she was not his, and he always knew that. She was almost like one of his nephews, except he knew they were permanent, they were just around less often. She… was like Jaxx and Mila used to be. Which was entirely different than Jaxx and Mila were now.

“Thank you,” Max said. Even though he didn’t think that was the proper response to what his mother said.

“I am very proud of you,” she said.

“Thank you,” Max repeated.

“You know you can tell me anything?” she asked.

Max didn’t know what she was looking for.

“Of course, Mama,” Max answered anyway.

“I thought… maybe you broke up with Kelly… because you found your heart was with someone else? Maybe you are seeing someone else now?”

“No? Kelly broke up with me. I didn’t want to break up. But- I am okay with the breakup now. I don’t think about her much anymore. More about P. Actually… Kelly asked me to get back together, and I said no.”

“Oh? And… why did you say no?”

“I guess I don’t love her enough? Or… I don’t trust her enough. Not to leave again. I told her I would probably just be single for a while. Maybe it will be a long while. I want to think of the kids first, so this woman would have to be very good with them and understand that. And she’d have to understand me racing. That is hard, you know. To find someone who accepts the danger I go to, and also all of the time it takes. Traveling all over the world? It gets old. But also, not seeing each other for long amounts of time gets old. You know how it goes.” Kelly was good with the danger. She worried, but she understood. Daniel was dating the daughter of a racing driver too. Max figured it was something that worked. Max had briefly dated Seychelle De Vries, because she understood. He’d very briefly dated two women who were racers themselves, Mikaela and Sabré. Maybe he was too immature for those to work out. Maybe that had ended all of his relationships.

Or too focused on his career.

Kelly was less okay with the time commitments, maybe. With Max’s schedule being so inflexible, and with Max having a lot of things he wanted to do outside of racing… which was sometimes more racing on the sim, or track days with different cars. She was always second to his career. And now, some woman in his life would probably have to be third, behind the kids and his career. Or, maybe if he loved her enough, she’d be above his career. Or he’d have to wait until he retired.

His mother never married again.

Or, at least she hadn’t yet.

She didn’t even go on any dates for a very long time, as far as Max knew. But maybe he wouldn’t know. He wasn’t there most of the time. She never mentioned anyone until a few years ago, and even that was no one serious. Victoria never mentioned anyone when she was living with their mother. But Max didn’t remember ever asking.

“It is very difficult,” Max’s mother agreed. “So… when you find that person… you should try to make it work, okay? Even if it doesn’t seem like the right time, or the person you were expecting. If they love the kids, and they love you and understand you, and you love them. I hope you find your person.”

Max knew what his mother was doing, being overly supportive of whoever Max might want to date. Inclusive language because she was so progressive and accepting. But it wasn’t important. He wasn’t going to be dating anyone any time soon, so he didn’t need to worry about anything about dating.

“Thank you, Mama.”

His mother left that evening.

There was plenty of room in the house again.

“Would you rather have company or privacy tonight?” Charles asked when they were alone in Max’s room.

The room that Max used when he was in that house.

It wasn’t really his room like Jaxx and Mila had rooms.

Separate rooms, even though they were currently happily asleep in Jaxx’s bed.

No nighttime accidents while guests were there, but they had a plastic sheet under the regular sheet.

Arthur and Lorenzo- probably Lorenzo- already had one on their double bed in Monaco too.

Max didn’t know how long they would keep this house. He didn’t have any idea what the house was worth or what his father’s total estate was worth. Of course he could offer to buy it from the estate before the split. If the kids needed the home to come home to.

Except… he wanted Monaco to be their home like it was his home.

Charles always talked so happily of his childhood in Monaco. Watching the race from a balcony. Doing school sports on the professional football field- because Max was pretty sure there was not space for another football field in Monaco.

There were a lot of people in Monaco from other places. They could still be Belgian and Dutch.

Charles was still staring at him. Patiently.

“The bed’s big. It doesn’t sound worth the effort to move your things somewhere else,” Max said instead.

It did not make sense that Max cared.

It was the closest Max could handle to asking.

“Thank you, Max,” Charles said. Like it was for Charles’s benefit.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

The day after the funeral involved packing things to take with them to Monaco. And these little circle stickers that Pascale gave him, putting them on things that could be moved later by a moving company. 

There was a weekend off on the calendar between Mexico and Brazil. So, there was time to move the children to Monaco and get settled. Then there was only Brazil and Abu Dhabi left. Back to back weeks to get it over with.

Pascale said she didn’t mind going to Brazil or Abu Dhabi or both if Max wanted to keep the children close. Or she said that she could stay at Max’s place or bring the kids to her place, and keep them in Monaco for the time Max would be gone.

Max just had to make the decision.

The house could sit there for a while. Max didn’t even know whose name was on the house- probably his dad’s or both, but he didn’t know. The will still needed to be figured out. Lawyers could handle it later. And Victoria, Jaye’s mother, Vera, Gerda, and whoever else cared.

His dad’s will said that his money would be split evenly between Max and Victoria and any future kids he had. Max did not care about the money, of course. And he did not know what Sally’s will said, or if Sally and his dad kept separate finances, or if Sally was rich or not before she married Max’s dad. Max didn’t give a shit about any of it. Except how it affected the kids. But money wasn’t a hard problem to fix. He was pretty sure no one would be demanding the house be sold anytime soon, and Max could buy it if the kids still needed it.

Max was leaning towards not making the kids travel all the way to southern Brazil, but maybe taking them to Abu Dhabi. Not seeing them for either seemed like too much time apart, especially because Max didn’t necessarily even have to go back to Europe in between. If they were going to come to one, Abu Dhabi made more sense. It was not as far, and only two time zones away, and Max would be free as soon as the race weekend was over. If he left Monaco for Brazil as late as possible- maybe used the mourning excuse to get out of media day- honestly after his breakdown on camera and being escorted away by Charles, they should just let him out of media for the last two races- and then if he flew to Abu Dhabi right afterwards- and put Pascale and the kids and anyone else who wanted on a chartered flight from Monaco- then they would only be apart for a few days.

That was most of a plan that he might do.

Unless maybe he should keep them away from the race weekends entirely.

He could possibly go back to Monaco for a couple days between the races.

He already won the WDC, and Red Bull had the WCC.

He was glad his dad got to see him win it a second time. A less controversial time.

Which was an objection from people who didn’t understand the sport. Shit happened, the end.

Like in life. 

It was normal for people to be away from their kids for work for a few days, Max objectively knew.

They liked Pascale.

It would be okay.

No one should put him in front of a camera. He should just wear his helmet the whole weekend when not behind closed doors.

“Does Arthur need a ride back to Monaco? Max asked. “And Carla? Sorry, I should have asked if they wanted to stay here after Jaye left.”

Charles had boxes of kid clothes. That he helped each of the kids pick out what they liked best to bring in the first trip.

Max didn’t know where the boxes appeared from.

Probably from the same place as the circle stickers.

“They I’m sure preferred the privacy of a hotel. It’s fine. I’m paying for it,” Charles brushed off.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

It was a silly objection. Everyone paid for their hotel when they traveled for a funeral. It just… they were doing so much…

They didn’t have to be there. None of them did.

“Arthur wanted to be there for you too. And Carla did as well, I think. And Arthur took his girlfriend to see Belgium and the Netherlands on my credit card. It’s fine. You know I won’t miss the money. And I was very glad to do it. Arthur usually does not let me pay for nice things for him.”

They went to a funeral.

Arthur had definitely seen much more fun parts of Belgium and the Netherlands. F3 raced at Spa and Zandvoort, didn’t they? Carla probably came along at some point.

But a hotel room wasn’t a major expense. Not worth worrying about. Charles’s contract wasn’t as large as Max’s was- even after pieces for other people were taken out of Max’s- especially because pieces would come out of Charles’s too- but the statement was still true. Charles wouldn’t miss the cost of a few nights in a hotel.

“Thank you,” Max settled for saying.

“Of course. And, I’m sure they would love a ride back, if there’s room.”

“Yeah. Sounds good. I just didn’t want to cut their holiday short.”

Their holiday with a funeral.

“Oh, no, an invitation to ride on Max Verstappen’s private jet,” Charles teased. “I will check with him, but I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

“I know he’s on VistaJets with you all the time. Ferrari perk.”

“He is sometimes. We are very lucky.”

Max knew it was true. But it wasn’t all luck. Charles had to impress the right people at each stage of his career, or he wouldn’t have gotten out of karting. Wouldn’t have done only half a year of international karting at most, because that was when things got really expensive.

“You earned it. You worked hard and you’re talented.”

“We can be both. Thank you.” That was like Charles to include his brother in the compliment. Arthur was talented, of course. And his early career suffered from lack of funds, so his single seater career was even more impressive than it looked. But Charles was special.

Charles took charge of King on the plane. Charles definitely liked the animal more than the kids did. Jaxx liked King well enough, but he liked people more. Mila mostly ignored the dog when Max had seen them together so far, and she was clearly jealous when Charles paid more attention to the dog than her. Which led to Arthur and Carla watching King for part of the flight. That was probably some sort of problem to address, but Max didn’t know how. 

It was possible that Max rushed into assuming the dog was part of the package deal with the kids. He just wouldn’t be responsible for taking another thing away from the kids. Pets were permanent family members in Max’s opinion, but was that even best for two toddlers and two cats? Would the dog be better off if Max managed to convince Victoria or Kelly- Jaye’s mother- to take the dog? Or Pascale? Or Charles? Or would that be something the kids wouldn’t seem to care about, but then would come up later in therapy with Max being the villian who paid someone off to take their dog?

Max would worry about it if there was a problem. King and the cats could be put in separate rooms as needed. They could buy a house with a backyard if needed. Money could fix those sorts of problems.

Max felt bad staying away from the cats for so long, even though he had someone checking in on them. And Arthur and Lorenzo had included pictures of the cats when they had sent pictures of the kids’ room. No Ferrari decorations, but there was one red wall, and the others white. Or off-white or something. Max could not tell or care. The double bed had horse sheets and a Lightning McQueen bedspread. One pillowcase matched the sheets, the other the bedspread. It was perfect.

Arthur offered to keep King when Pascale traveled with Max. He would already be watching their own family dog. Or, he knew a good dog sitter they could share when Arthur and Lorenzo both went sometimes because there was an F2 race. Lorenzo was basically Arthur’s manager, even though Max didn’t think they used the word.

Next season. That was thinking so far in advance.

*****Max*****

The plane landed in Nice, because that was where the plane always landed. Cannes was the other option, but Nice was closer, and Max didn’t need anything in Cannes.

Arthur and Carla said they appreciated the ride. Carla seemed like a wonderful young woman who probably fit in well with the Leclercs. The two of them left from the airport with thanks. Like Max had done anything special besides not wasting space on his plane.

Pascale had some errand she needed to run, but she offered to put it off to help Max and the kids settle.

Charles volunteered to help get them at home instead.

Probably he felt obligated, but it would be good to have help with the dog and the kids.

“If that is okay?” Charles checked with Max.

“It is fine, of course.”

The cleaners would have been through while Max was gone, so there was no worry of the place looking bad.

There was a vehicle waiting for them that Max had not reserved or thought about. Big enough to fit all of their stuff including King’s big sleeping crate. So many things Max didn’t think about.

Sometimes Max took a car from the airport, sometimes the helicopter service to Monaco. He hadn’t made plans. Max usually took care of a fair amount of things by himself. He usually talked to his pilot. He was always the one complaining to the hotels about the internet not being good enough, and he needed their better internet, which he knew they must have. But there were so many things done by people Red Bull paid or Max paid. This didn’t feel like that.

The kids loved their room.

There were more toys and books than in the last picture Max saw.

Probably they did not understand that this was where they lived now, not just a cool hotel room. Max was trying. Apparently everyone was trying.

There were bath toys and the kid bath towels with hoods in the second bathroom too. Two horses and two bulls. It was a brown bull, of course, not red, but very impressive. And unnecessary. But it was for the kids, and Max would pay them back, so it was okay.

Charles stayed for dinner. Which was just delivery from an Italian place. Where Max probably ordered too many options so that they could try some of whatever and have leftovers. Max was not someone who did not believe in leftovers. Of course, whenever he got meal plan delivery, that was like all leftovers, and even that usually tasted good. Not restaurant good, because it was too healthy, but much, much better than anything Max could make.

Charles helped clean out the refrigerator. Which included throwing away some moldy thing that should have been thrown away before COTA. Max had still been wallowing in singleness. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

The cats were put in Max’s room, and the dog in the rest of the place. Max went in the room with the cats sometimes. His attached bathroom already had a litter box.

King didn’t bark when the cats meowed, so that was good. He did sniff by the door a lot.

They all took King for a walk. Charles played tour guide for the kids, even though Max surely knew the area immediately around his apartment at least as well as Charles did.

Charles picked Mila up when she didn’t want to walk more.

Or she just wanted Charles to carry her.

Charles helped get the kids to bed.

And then he got ready to leave.

“You can call any time. Really, any time, Max. And my mother, of course. She’ll be here tomorrow, but if you need someone sooner…”

“Right. Yeah. No problem.”

Obviously Chales would leave. He had his own apartment to get back to. His own home in Monaco. There was no reason for him to spend the night. It wasn’t even that late.

“Or… I could stay if you needed help?” Charles offered.

He offered because Max was being weird. Hesitant.

“We will be fine.”

Charles looked even more unsure about leaving, like he was waiting for Max to change his mind. But he left.

King was back in the crate for the night.

Max wanted to let the cats out to see how they did seeing King but not touching him, but Max wanted to avoid dog barks. Though apparently the kids could sleep through cat yowls. Max hoped those would stop when he went back in the room with them.

Charles definitely would have taken King with him if Max asked. Even if the crate would have been difficult. Charles would have carried it across Monaco, probably. Or decided they’d be fine without, and King would piss on something, or shred something, probably. And he wouldn’t complain to Max about it, and would say everything had been fine.

The dog whined.

How long had Max been sitting there?

He was just spacing out because he was tired.

Max needed to go to sleep.

Did King already need to piss again, or maybe take a shit?

Damn, Max was a shitty dog owner.

How did single people with children take a dog for a walk?

Was it legal to leave the kids asleep for a few minutes?

Max started googling while the dog was probably not very happy. Shit.

There were people who said they took the dog for a walk and left baby asleep all the time. And there were other people who thought that was criminal. Max knew there were people who left babies in strollers outside when the parents went in the store or even in their own front yard. For fresh air or something. Even in the cold. Surely that was much more dangerous?

Of course, Mila and Jaxx were not babies. Max wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse. They would not die from something tiny like just stopping breathing, but they could wake up and do something stupid.

But he also could not let the dog suffer.

Why couldn’t the dog go in the box like a cat?

Even if he could get someone to train the dog to do that, it wouldn’t help him now.

Max had a very, very safe apartment with all of the security in the building, and his apartment in particular.

There was a security guard at the front door and at least-

Max called the security guard at the front desk.

And bribed him to take his dog for a walk.

One problem fixed. He could hire someone to do that later. Or, he knew that security guard’s price.

*****Max*****

The cats escaped into the rest of the apartment when Max opened his bedroom door in the morning.

Jaxx was crying, and Max wasn’t thinking.

King was in the cage. None of them could hurt each other, so Max went to the crying boy first.

Jaxx was wet again. He hadn’t done that in a while, but it was a new place. Max was at least halfway expecting it. That was what the plastic sheet was for.

Mila was actually shockingly dry, but that happens sometimes. Both used the toilet, and it was late enough in the morning to give up on more sleep, so they got daytime clothes on. The animals were not trying to attack each other through the bars when Max was done, so Max was calling it a win.

Mila toddled around the apartment, holding that Ferrari horse. She looked up at Max when she gave up her search. 

“Charles?” she asked. 

Maybe it was easier to say with the soft ‘Sh’ sound, the French pronunciation cutting out some of the letters.

The question made sense. Charles had been there when she went to bed.

“Charles is not here, but his mother will be here soon. You like Pascale,” he said.

“Charles,” Mila said again.

Max tried again in English. Max still didn’t even really know what they had heard more at home. He’d just assumed Dutch. Max’s father had thought for Max and Victoria that knowing Dutch was most important, then English. Then, at least for Max, the priority after those two was German, then French. But, that was many years ago now. Max wasn’t even sure of the priorities for Jaye. Probably, it was whatever her mother wanted. Max had been there when Jaye was small, but not really there much. She had been so little still when Max moved out. And Max’s dad and Kelly had divorced not so long after.

Mila didn’t look happy that Charles wasn’t there. But she was okay, and Max had other things to worry about, which could also be a distraction. Like a dog that needed a walk. “Let’s get shoes on,” Max decided. “We need to take King for a walk.”

Charles had liked walking the dog.

Jaxx whined when Max said he was too little to hold the leash. He said Papa let him do it. Probably that had been on a very quiet street, maybe a park, not a city.

Max said that Jaxx could practice holding the leash inside when they got home.

There was no more talk of Papa, no questions about what home meant. 

Max still read the children's books about death to them most nights. He still didn’t know what they thought, but he also had not asked. He didn’t know how to ask. ‘Do you understand what both your parents being dead means now?’

It would be easier to walk if Max did not to have a leash around his wrist and a child’s hand in each of his. 

Pascale arrived with groceries not long after they got back from the walk. Max still needed to figure out paying her. He didn’t even know how to set that up. He needed to get Raymond to do it.

“Charles?” Mila asked Pascale. It made Pascale smile and say something in French Max didn’t quite catch. Terms of endearment, he was sure.

Max declined breakfast. He needed to get back to schedule. He was going to be racing soon.

It would be weird in Brazil, not having the kids with him. Max made the decision. He’d see them in Abu Dhabi. And maybe they would vacation after or something. Make some good memories.

The cats and dog were okay with their surprise introduction that morning, so Max didn’t shut the cats back in the room or King in his cage. Yet. No big fights. Some stares, but it was okay. Introduction was definitely supposed to be slower, Max knew. But if they wanted to be agreeable, Max could accept something being easy. They all needed to find some sort of new normal.

Max worked out to have something to focus on. He needed to watch his weight and fitness level.

It wasn’t as much fun exercising without Charles there. It was weird to even think of that. Workouts were never fun, just something he had to do.

There were texts from Charles waiting for him after his workout.

Charles: Are you doing okay? 

Charles: And the kids and animals?

We are fine. I discovered I could bribe the security man to take King for a walk last night.

Charles: I’m so sorry I left!

Charles: I will walk him tonight.

Charles: I want to.

Charles: If that’s okay.

You don’t have to, but you can see him whenever you want ‘dog time’. I’m surprised you don’t have one yet. Mila was also looking for you this morning.

Charles: I’m sorry. 

Charles: I’ll be there tonight. 

Charles: I want to see them.

Charles: If that’s okay.

Charles: I meant to ask if you wanted to go karting tomorrow?

Charles: At Philippe Bianchi's  track. He is going to be there, and I haven’t seen him in too long.

Charles: There are karts small enough for Jaxx.

Charles: Philippe could even bring a little electric car that Mila’s could try.

Charles: Not on the track, of course, anywhere else.

Charles: But it looks like a little red Ferrari.

Charles: And of course we could race karts if you want.

Racing Charles again in karts.

The kids would enjoy it.

Mila would probably like to see a little Ferrari her size.

Mila would like anything with Charles there.

That sounds lovely.

Charles had sent a lot of texts.

Charles: Great. I’ll see you tonight. What time is good?

Whenever you want. Your mother is making dinner.

Max had lunch with the kids and Pascale, and he and the kids went on another short walk with King while Pascale cleaned the kitchen. Even though Max pointed out that he already paid cleaners.

It was difficult than before, managing two kids and a dog alone.

Max shouldn’t have told Pascale so confidently that he could handle it just because he had that morning. They were more energetic than when they had just woken up. Their walk with Charles the day before had been much easier. Charles had taken the dog and Mila, and Max only had Jaxx.

Max tried holding Mila’s hand and the leash, and asked Jaxx to keep hold of the bottom of Max’s t-shirt.

They made it back with no one running into the street, so it was enough of a success.

Max had a stream scheduled for after their walk. Earlier than he would normally stream with team Redline, but it was when he had childcare.

New normal.

It was a way for the world to not be worried about him. Maybe that was not quite the right word. Worry of strangers meant mostly bother. Not only that. It was nice to have people concerned. But it was too much. Streaming was practice. For interacting with more people again. It would be easier than going to the karting track, which would be easier than the Grand Prix.

Even if he got permission to lay low in Brazil, it would be much more attention on his personal life than in the past, Max was sure. And he had always had too much. 

How long had it been? How many weeks or days since everything changed? Every day was still different. And he only had so many days in Monaco before he needed to go to Brazil.

It was good to be racing. Good enough that he could face looking at the chat on the straights. It was moving fast.

“It is too quiet. You can make some conversation,” Max said. Which wasn’t really like him, but usually it wasn’t quiet.

“About what?”

They were all careful with him. No one had said anything except about what was on the screen.

Some of them had been at the funeral. Maybe all. Max should know. They had sim raced the one time, the day of the Mexican Grand Prix. Everyone had been very careful then, Max realized. Careful of his feelings.

“You can go ahead and ask the questions you want to ask. You know I’ll tell you to fuck off if I don’t want to answer, but I would rather say to our audience than to a reporter, so you can ask.”

“We could pick a few questions from the chat? Avoiding the worst ones?”

What would the worst ones even be? How does it feel to not have a dad? Is any part of you glad he’s dead? No. There wasn’t. And probably no one would ask, and definitely one of his friends wouldn’t repeat it. They were his friends, really. And decent people even if they weren’t.

“Go ahead,” Max agreed.

“A lot of people have been asking if P gets along with your little brother and sister.”

Ah.

He thought that was a safe question to pick. Max hadn’t told them anything.

Kelly hadn’t announced it either then.

Why hadn’t she announced it?

Was she still hoping they would get back together?

Well, Max wasn’t going to lie.

“They have not met yet. Kelly and P never went with me to their house before, and we broke up a few weeks ago. Before all of this. We talked at the funeral, and hopefully we’ll get the kids together to play sometimes, but Kelly and I are broken up. Nothing bad happened. No one cheated, it is no one’s fault. But it is what it is.”

“Ah… sorry I didn’t ask these questions privately first.”

“It is fine. It will be obvious we are not still together. I do not have that much privacy. I wish I had that much privacy, but it’s okay.” Or, at least it was part of being a Formula One driver. And he wasn’t ready to stop being that. Especially because there would probably be some attention in public for at least a few decades anyway. Maybe until he was old enough to look too different.

“And ah… any other life updates you want to just give? Kinda scared to ask questions now.”

“I don’t know what the public knows. I haven’t looked online. I have my little brother and littlest sister with me now. I have custody. I am working to make that permanent. They might come to some races. Some they will not come to. I try to keep them away far from media, but they might appear. You might also see them on stream sometimes if they want. Pascale has done a good job keeping them out of here so far, but I am surprised Jaxx has not come in. He likes the sim.”

Jaxx used to watch him on their dad’s sim every time he was awake for Max using it. On Max’s last visit before his dad died, Jaxx sat in Max’s lap and moved the wheel.

“And… Pascale is?”

“I have hired her to watch the kids when I can’t. She might show at some races. Some… super F1 fans might recognize her. I wanted someone in Monaco who I could trust, and she volunteered. I mean, I pay her, of course. She said she did not need money, but I pay my own sister and mother for their work for me. Of course I would pay Charles’s mother.”

“That’s… Charles Leclerc?”

“His mother is Pascale, yes. I have known her not so well before now, but known her for a long time. She has raised three kids. She is very good with kids.”

“Right. Yeah. That’s great. To have someone you trust.”

“And Charles knows you hired his mother?” 

“Yes, he contacted her, and she volunteered herself,” Max answered.

With that out of the way, it was good to just drive.

“How are the cats doing?

“They are doing well. They have not fought with the dog, and he has been doing good too.

“Dog?”

“They had a dog. Now I have the dog. Two cats, two kids, and a dog. We had a lot more animals when I was a kid. It will be fine,” Max said more confidently than he felt before.

Then there was more talking about the cats and dog, so that was okay. That and racing.

Max didn’t have a great sense of how much time had passed when he heard the doorbell. And then Mila squealing. Jaxx and Pascale were talking too. And Charles, who had been at the door. King was making noises. Maybe not enough to be called real barking, which he wasn’t supposed to do inside, but definitely some noise.

Max wondered what people on stream could hear.

It couldn’t be dinner time already. But the kids did sometimes eat early. And Max had said Charles could come whenever.

“I need to go,” Max said. It wasn’t a big race, just for fun. It didn’t matter. “Good-bye,” Max said before logging off.

Chapter Text

“No!” Charles said as soon as Max opened the door. “You cannot be done yet. I came to help keep the kids from opening your door.”

Mila had her head tucked onto Charles’s shoulder while he held her.

Pascale walked back to the kitchen. Probably to clean or cook something she didn’t need to clean or cook. She was always doing something.

“Did you win?” Jaxx asked.

This suddenly felt like an important moment.

“No, I didn’t win. It was just for fun.”

Charles stared at him intently.

“What?” Max asked.

“You said ‘no’ twice, yes? And then… ‘for the lol?’

“Voor de lol,” Max corrected. Though… it meant nearly the same thing. “Jaxx asked if I won. I told him no, it was just for fun. ‘Lol’ is a word for fun. It is spelled the same way, but not related to the internet abbreviation, unless someone copied us and just came up with something in English for it to mean, because we have had the word much longer.”

“Dutch is very interesting.”

Most people said it was an ugly language.

Mila had her head laid down on Charles’s shoulder again. She could probably use a nap.

“I was done driving. It is fine,” Max brushed off. Lied, but Charles wouldn’t know.

“You should have fun and relax. Do you want to play a video game? Unless you need a nap? Did everyone sleep through the night okay?”

“Do you want to play FIFA?” Max addressed the first option. Which… maybe Charles had not meant that they would play together. Maybe he just meant he would watch the kids while Max played..

“But you are too good,” Charle whined. It was fully a whine. “I cannot even beat Carlos, and you are much better. Top twenty in the world?”

“That was one game, several years ago. I am not so good now.”

“Fine, I will play. I will be nice and let you beat me at something, and show how to be a graceful loser.”

Something in that just… made him fucking snap.

“You don’t have to be a graceful loser. You should expect to win.”

That was not a normal thing to say.

He had just been trying to tell Jaxx that winning was not what was important. It was hard when it was something Max knew was right, but not what most of him believed. And… fuck, maybe he liked that angry spirit from Charles from when they were kids.

“I cannot beat you in FIFA. But I can on track. When I have a decent car. But, when I don’t win there too, I have to be graceful. It is not something that comes naturally to me.”

People who didn’t know Charles probably thought he was always nice.

“No running me in lakes?”

“That was a puddle, and you pushed me off intentionally first. But yes, no pushing you in puddles.”

“You say that because it hasn’t rained recently. So, we can race tomorrow?” Max asked.

“Yes. I will beat you very badly. And you can show them losing maturely. Like I will with FIFA. You may start the game,” Charles declared. Dramatically. Like he was trying to be funny.

Mila was maybe asleep in his arms already.

Charles was bad at FIFA. Very bad. Worse than he was at playing football, and he had never been good at football.

He pouted a lot, but did not seem that upset. Even though Max knew Charles didn’t like to lose even silly games for marketing. Which Max did not usually watch, of course. When Max had to do them, the elaborate ones Red Bull made with riding weird vehicles weren’t bad. But Max would take anything for media as not seriously as possible. He’d cheat in a game or twist around their questions whenever possible and laugh.

Jaxx fell asleep half sitting up as they played. They were young and could sleep in any position without being sore, Max was sure.

They all took another walk just before dinner. Well, the four of them- Pascale was finishing dinner. Max had offered to order something.

It was much easier managing with another adult. Charles took King’s leash again, and Max took both children.

Until Jaxx wanted to hold the leash.

They arranged so that Jaxx could walk on the side away from the road, and hold on the leash lower down than Charles held it. Max held his other hand, and Max carried Mila.

“See you tomorrow?” Pascale asked as soon as they got back.

“Wha- oh, yeah. Sure. Ah, sorry I haven’t- ah. I’ve just been-”

“Dinner ready. Charles stays. Everyone watch movie, Kids sleep. Charles walk dog. Everyone sleep.”

And… it sounded nice. Pascale’s plan for the evening.

Which was weird. All of that was weird, but mostly her planning it was weird.

She left out the part where Charles would leave, but Max knew that would happen. At least Max wouldn’t have to bribe a security guard.

“Merci,” Max said anyway. She did make them dinner. And lunch. And breakfast for the kids. And they had leftovers.

Pascale smiled and wished them goodbye. A pat on the head for the kids that turned into the kids hugging her. And then she kissed Charles on each cheek- well, did the normal kiss near the cheek thing, really. And then offered to Max. Which he went along with. She was good at directing, so there was no awkward which way first, because people from every region seem to have a different way of doing it.

“Bonne soirée,” Max said, fairly sure that was the appropriate goodbye for the time of day, and hoping that he didn’t say it too badly.

Pascale smiled and repeated, “ Bonne soirée ,” so it couldn’t have been too bad.

“Do you want to eat in front of the television?” Max asked the kids.

He remembered eating on the ground on a towel in front of his grandmother’s television. It was a special occasion thing there, because usually they sat at the table.

Eating in front of the television became much more common and less special as Max got older.

Or eating something at the table while watching something on his phone.

“Yeah!” Jaxx agreed.

“What do you want to watch?” Charles asked Max. as they got the plates ready. Max got out containers for the leftovers, otherwise he’d forget.

“Jaxx, what do you want to watch?” Max asked. So he wouldn’t have to decide.

“Cars!” Jaxx declared.

It was so much better than the boy could have come up with. Kids watched a lot of shitty movies, and Cars was good.

Max remembered going to see it in the theater. The whole family went, including his dad, which was unusual. People stopped them to talk to his dad. Max remembered someone asking him if he was going to be a Formula One driver like his dad. And he said of course he would. He was already winning kart races. All of that was normal. It was a conversation that had happened a lot of times before and a lot of times after. But Max remembered it connected to the movie.

Something like a thousand kilometers away, Charles had been winning kart races too. And going to see Cars. Probably not the same day Max had seen it. Probably with his mom and dad and two brothers, if Lorenzo wasn’t in a phase where he had decided he was too old for it. Probably not though, it was Cars.

“That is a good choice,” Charles praised. “It can be any language, and subtitles in something else.”

“We can just watch in English,” Max said. The kids didn’t seem that much more comfortable with one over the other.

“Oh, can we do Dutch with French or English subtitles?” Charles asked. “Unless maybe it does not have Schumacher and you want to hear him? Oh! Did you know that in the Spanish version of Cars 3, Fernando does the Lewis character?”

Usually Max was the one with the most ‘fun facts’. But probably most of the F1 drivers knew a lot about Cars. They were mostly either young enough to be obsessed with at least the first one, or old enough to be in it. Or Checo had kids. Daniel had a niece and nephew he could use as an excuse, but Max knew better.

“How many languages have you watched the Cars movies in?” Max asked.

“Ah… well, all of them in French, Italian, English, and Spanish. But also the first one I think in Canadian French and some other types of Spanish. I think it was Argentina? And also I watch Portuguese to see if I could understand it. It was harder than Spanish, but I could understand since I knew the story so well.”

That was a lot.

“I didn’t know there was all of these options.”

“Some DVDs have special things. Now you have to have tell the VPN different places for different options.”

“We can- the Dutch with French subtitles if you want.” Max did know some trivia. “In the Dutch version of Cars 2, Christijan Albers speaks instead of Hamilton.”

“No!” Charles responded.

“Yeah. My dad… complained it should have been him.”

“Honestly, it should have been.”

His dad was the only Dutch driver with a podium before Max.

Max wondered if his dad failed some sort of Disney background check.

“Do you need anything else before starting the movie?” Charles asked.

Right.

The kids were on the ground with towels. Max and Charles could sit on the couch if they wanted. Max was just standing around, holding his plate.

“I am fine,” Max answered. He sat on the ground behind Jaxx.

Charles sat behind Mila.

Max grabbed the remote.

It was… jarring, seeing P’s Disney+ profile right there. Max got Disney+ because of P. It… seemed dramatic to delete the profile just then. She wasn’t using it anymore, Max knew. Because before everything else happened, Max had checked. Multiple times. When them moving out was the biggest thing Max was going through. A breakup of a relationship Max always sort of knew wasn’t going to last forever. Max just picked the Max profile. It didn’t matter if it became all kids things. He hardly ever watched anything.

Max picked Dutch with French subtitles, like Charles asked. Max followed the French subtitles pretty easily. In school, he had been better at reading than listening, and better at listening than speaking.

They moved to the couch after they finished eating. King came and licked their dishes that Max just left on the floor. He was well behaved before then.

The cats hadn’t been interested until they wondered if they were missing out on something King enjoyed, so they tried bits of dinner too.

“I can put the plates up if you don’t want the animals getting them,” Charles offered.

Max didn’t give a shit. There wasn’t that much left on any of the plates.

“They are okay unless they start fighting,” Max said. Maybe it was an animal bonding activity, like sharing a carcass, but for house pets.

Mila fell asleep on top of Max this time.

Because Charles had put her there when the movie started.

Jack was sitting between them, and Charles produced from somewhere those little Red Bull and Ferrari cars. 

Once, Max had looked over and seen Jaxx racing the little Red Bull, and Charles the Ferrari, with Charles’s thigh as the start/finish straight. The track also went into the air wherever Jaxx moved it before coming back down. Charles did the same in his own air, bringing his car back down just a bit behind Jaxx’s.

Charles probably worried that Mila was getting too attached to him and not spending time with Max, and wanted to make sure that Jaxx liked him too.

Or Charles was just good with kids and Max was reading too much into his kindness.

Jaxx made it through most of the movie before falling asleep too.

Max hoped the kids had been awake long enough and would sleep through the night.

Maybe a bit later would be ideal for King’s walk so he wouldn’t wake up too early needing to pee.

They needed to wake the kids up at least enough for their own last potty and an overnight diaper for Mila. Well, Max needed to do it. Charles just helped with the kids even though he didn’t have to. He didn’t have to do anything. He didn’t have to be there, but he wanted to be.

Even though Max was not being very fun. They watched a kids movie and ate Charles’s mother’s cooking- which Charles could eat any time.

It was weird.

Max did a lot of not questioning things, but it was a lot.

Both kids woke up enough during the trip to the toilet that Max decided teeth brushing was in order. Which meant both of them trying to copy Max brush his teeth before getting help after to make sure they were actually brushed.

Which, like the walk, went easier with a second adult. Charles stepped in and helped Mila.

It wasn’t shocking that managing two children was easier with a second person. Max already knew that managing one child was easier with a second person. But being outnumbered was much more difficult, even with the simplest things.

Toilet used, teeth brushed, sleep clothes on, kids in bed. 

The bed with horse sheets and a Lightning McQueen bedspread. Max needed to pay Lorenzo back. And Arthur.

“Book?” Jaxx asked. It was one of the words that sounded the same in English and Dutch. Max wondered which he meant. Max hadn’t exactly asked Sandy for a parenting guide.

“Yes, okay. Pick one,” Max said.

The book was Dutch and had a dog as the main character. And the dog didn’t die. They didn’t read the death books every night. The book took only about three minutes to read, but both kids were passing out again anyway.

Charles was listening from just inside the doorway. Max followed him out.

“Is it late enough to walk King now?” Charles asked.

“Yeah,” Max said. If he needed a later walk, there was always the security guard. “You don’t have to go far. Just right outside the building. Or I can take him if you’d rather stay here?” Max offered.

“Whichever you don’t want to do,” Charles shot back.

“Walking King always might involve scooping poop,” Max reminded him.

Charles chuckled, “I can handle poop.” And when Charles said it, it made Max feel ridiculous for not just mentioning it, but also not calling it ‘shit’ like an adult. An adult without children listening. Max was never going to be perfect at not cursing in front of children. But he did try to do it less. Sometimes. Probably he was trying harder with Jaxx and Mila than he had with P. But Kelly hadn’t cared.

“The dog likes you better,” Max said. He wasn’t even sure if it was true. King liked everyone. Maybe Max felt he needed to be a little extra loyal to Jimmy and Sassy when he brought an intruder into their home. A lot of intruders, really. He was lucky they were friendly. Well, it was a trait of the breed, liking humans. And dogs. But all cats aren’t the same, and Max was lucky with them. They had been there when he flew back home after Japan to a half empty apartment. More than half empty, maybe, even with almost all the furniture left. Just the baby furniture gone. The person watching his cat hadn’t warned him that so many things were missing. It made him wonder if he had a good cat sitter.

“Are you okay?” Charles asked. “I mean, I know it’s-”

Charles probably thought he was spiraling over a dead dad thing instead of a… relationship that was never going to work. A relationship that Max honestly never took as seriously as Kelly had. Kelly had wanted P to have a little sibling by now. Maybe two. Probably she got tired of him not being serious. Maybe he hadn’t loved her enough to be serious. Maybe he didn’t know how to love someone that much. Maybe that was bullshit, because he loved his family enough.

It was weird for him to be thinking about it at that moment anyway.

“I’ll be okay. It’s not even about my dad,” Max said.

Or maybe it somehow was. Maybe that psychology bullshit about it’s always the parents’ fault how fucked up their kid was. Which didn’t make him feel better raising two kids.

The psychologist Red Bull hired was very practical. They talked about racing and about behaving acceptably. No shoving someone even if they intentionally crashed him out. Insults that were okay and ones that were slurs. Counting to ten. Breathing. Things with steps. Max hadn’t needed anyone to tell him that he was afraid of being hurt, afraid of disappointing people he cared about, and afraid of being abandoned, and he could even do the mix and match origin to: father, father, mother. And it didn’t change that he loved them both. Apparently he could love dead people. Charles seemed to still love his dad.

“It is okay for other things to be important too,” Charles said. “I will take King.”

Max thrived in the practical.

“There’s some grass right outside the building,” Max said. Maybe he’d said that already. And Charles wouldn’t have any trouble finding grass, even in Monaco. Especially not in Monaco, maybe. It was his home a lot longer than it had been Max’s. Which was an unneeded fact when finding grass was as simple as walking six steps from the front door.

Max deleted P’s Disney profile and made one that just said ‘kids’. It… felt horrible, but Penelope had two parents who loved her, and probably each had their own Disney+ accounts now. Daniil already did, Max knew. Max checked again that no one had watched anything new on the profile first. They hadn’t. Max did the same on Netflix and all the other ones they had, removing any accounts for P or Kelly. None of them had been used. He turned off the tv, put down the remote, and stared at it.

Their lives hadn’t really been that tangled. Kelly’s name was never on the lease. They never had a joint phone plan or anything like that. Kelly left her copy of Max’s credit card behind, but her name had never been on the account. She had her own accounts with plenty of money in them. She just also had one of Max’s cards for convenience.

Sassy crawled halfway onto his lap. Jimmy curled around Sassy, not quite touching Max. But allowing himself to be within arms’ reach.

He was mostly okay.

Max checked his phone. Something he forced himself to do sometimes.

There were multiple tests, but none from anyone he couldn’t ignore. People he couldn’t ignore made it through his ‘do not disturb’. Which… that list was shorter than usual. Red Bull employees were removed from the list. In fact, the list was his mother, sister, Tom- in case something happened to Vicky- Jaye’s mother Kelly, Pascale, Charles, and his dad’s phone number that he hadn’t removed for some reason. He didn’t even know if the line still worked. He should at least have Raymond on the list. Probably Brad and Helmut and Christian like a responsible adult who was paid a lot of money.

But he wasn’t at work, and people got bereavement leave

Less time than Max had already had though, he was sure.

Adoption usually came with paternity leave, didn’t it?

Ignoring for the moment that he hadn’t successfully adopted the kids yet.

And that Formula One drivers didn’t get paternity leave, or, if they did, they never took it.

Texts from Lando were usually stupid and always easy, so it was a good chat to open.

Lando: Sorry to hear about you and K & P. Hope you’re okay.

Lando: Thought you should know that the gayer side of the internet has decided you’re dating Charles.

Lando: The less gay side has decided you’re an adopted Leclerc now.

Lando: It’s to the point where it’s past twitter and tiktok and made it to reddit.

People are idiots.

Though adopting him as one of her own… wasn’t the furthest from how it felt with Pascale. Even though he was paying her. Was going to pay her. He paid his own mother and sister, so that didn’t disqualify. And his dad had gotten his share, of course.

Maybe a couple of those talks from Lorenzo had felt… older-brotherly. He probably older-brothered automatically. So used to looking after his little brothers. Charles didn’t really need it anymore, with Ferrari handling things. But Lorenzo was there anyway. Which was why he’d been there in Austin.

Max closed the conversation and put down his phone.

It didn’t take much longer than that for Charles to get back.

King went right to his cage. Dog trainers said the cages- crates- were good and safe-feeling. The place they were used to sleeping. And, even if the animals got along better than Max deserved, it couldn’t hurt to keep them apart at night.

“Thank you. Again. You know you don’t have to… do anything?” Max checked. Which… Max had probably said before, and it was probably too late to start asking now.

“I want to help. Let me know if you need a break from me. Karting tomorrow?”

Max couldn’t picture himself telling Charles he needed a break.

It felt weird that that was clearly Charles’s way to say goodbye for the night. It seemed… kind of silly for him to leave. When they were just going to see him tomorrow.

But it was silly for him to stay. Nothing was far away in Monaco. And all of his things were in his home.

“Thank you. Have a good night,” Max said.

“Did you know-” Charles said suddenly. “It is not as cool as Cars, but I was- and only in Italian- but I was in Lightyear?”

“That is a movie?”

“Yeah. It is like the toy in Toy Story. Buzz Lightyear? But it is like… he is… the character the toy is based on… sort of. I was just a security guard. Two lines in Italian, and Carlos did in the Spanish version. I only made the movie a little bit worse. Which is good for me, because I am a so terrible actor.”

That Shell ad was the worst acted ad Max had ever seen.

It didn’t make sense how Charles and Carlos could both be that terrible when surely they pretended for the camera all the time. Unless they did not pretend as much as Max did.

“We’ll have to watch that next time.”

Next time.

“It’s only in Italian. I don’t think the kids need to learn Italian.”

“French would be better,” Max acknowledged. “Your mother’s English is much better than I was expecting. She can speak French to the kids though, if she wants. They won’t understand her at first, but they can learn.”

“I will tell her. Oh- is it you who wants to learn Italian? If you consider a move to Ferrari?” Charles teased.

“You should just move to Red Bull instead. You already have Christian’s number.”

Max knew that because Charles had offered to call him when Max’s dad died.

“I know… I am more loyal to Ferrari than they are to me. I am not so stupid. I saw Seb. But I… don’t want to leave them. I have taken meetings… with Red Bull and Mercedes. But one meeting here and there means nothing. They were all phone call or Zoom anyway.”

“I’ve had meetings with most of the teams at one time or another, ages ago,” Max admitted.

“My meeting with Red Bull was not ages ago. But I told them no.”

“We’ll have to see if Ferrari can get you a car that can keep up then. They didn’t do too badly to start the year,” Max acknowledged.

Talking about racing was normal. Comfortable.

“I should go,” Charles said.

Obviously. Obviously he needed to go back to his own place.

“Have a good night,” Max said, even though he’d said it already. Before Charles started a conversation, so maybe he hadn’t been in a rush. “Bonne nuit.”

“Bonne nuit.”

Chapter Text

Charles showed up with his Porsche with two child seats in the back.

His Ferraris didn’t have backseats, Max was fairly sure. Max wouldn’t be driving his soon either for that reason. 

It seemed rude not to accept Charles’s offer to drive there when he’d gone to that trouble. And Max could sit back and not worry about finding the place.

They played kid music the whole way. Max asked Charles for French recommendations.

“Mon fils!” the older man greeted, sweeping Charles in a hug that actually lifted Charles’s feet off the ground for a moment, and real kisses on each cheek. Charles laughed.

His son. The father who lost a son and the son who lost a father. Everyone knew Charles had been close to Jules. That Charles wouldn’t be a Formula One driver without Jules speaking for him, convincing Nicolas Todt to fund Charles when it was still really too soon to know for sure how special he would be.

Max had been there that weekend, in Japan. It was Max’s first time taking part in a practice session. Getting him ready for joining Toro Rosso the next year. It was three days after his seventeenth birthday. He’d tried to get into a practice session when he was still sixteen, but it hadn’t happened. Max hadn’t been in sight of the crash. But he heard it. The people were even louder than the crash. Or, at least that was the way Max remembered it.

People were angry a few weeks ago that a recovery vehicle had been on the track again. In those wet conditions. If Pierre had been a bit more out of control… 

Max had clinched the World Championship that day. When he didn’t think he was going to, because he did not think there was enough running time for full points, and Charles finished second. Then, officials decided yes to full points, and Charles got a penalty and finished third.

It had seemed a bit of an anticlimactic way to win.

If it hadn’t happened like that, his father wouldn’t have lived long enough to see him named Champion again.

That seemed like a long time ago.

“Hello Max Verstappen. Congratulations on your World Championships. Charles will beat you when Ferrari give him a good car. And I am very sorry for your loss,” the older man said. Rollercoaster of an introduction there.

Someone who was used to racing and death.

“Thank you,” Max answered.

“Bonjour, children,” Philippe Bianchi said to the kids.

“Can you say ‘Bonjour?’” Max asked. Definitely butchering it. He should have had Charles ask them.

“Bonjour,” Jaxx parroted. No worse than Max.

Charles crouched down by the kids, “Bonjour,” Charles repeated, with a wave to emphasize. “Is like ‘Hallo!’” He waved again. “Bonjour!”

“Bonjour!” Mila tried.

“Bonjour!” Jaxx said again with a wave.

“Très bien! Very good!”

“Lorenzo et ta mere?” Philippe asked.

“They’ll be here soon. Arthur too, I think.”

Philippe crouched down by the kids. “Mila? You like Ferrari pony?” he asked. Clearly having talked to Charles. “I have car for you to drive.” He turned, “Tom?”

That seemed to be the cue for the door to open.

“Tom!” Charles greeted.

Jules’s younger brother. Around Max and Charles’s age, Max knew. Charles called him his best friend. But Charles also called a lot of people his best friend.

Tom pushed a little red Ferrari out of the building behind them.

Jaxx ran over to it first, while Mila was more interested in the new person hugging Charles.

Jaxx had a kart already. But he didn’t have a ride on car like that. Two little seats just their size.

Mila wouldn’t mind waiting a bit.

“Jaxx, will you show Mila how to drive? So then she can do it too? You show her how, but then Mila drives it when she wants, okay?”

“Okay,” Jaxx agreed. Max thought he mostly understood.

“If you want to drive more after, you can drive a cool kart instead, okay? One that’s too big for Mila. If- that is okay with Monsieur Bianchi?” Max added, looking at Philippe.

“We have karts small enough for him. Charles says he has driven before? So we do not need the rope?”

Max didn’t even know what a rope would be used for, but they shouldn’t need it.

“He has been karting with… yes, he has been karting,” Max answered.

“Is he okay to go with other little children?” Philippe asked. “All the same low power. We don’t put them on track with everyone else.”

Of course Max didn’t expect a track to themselves.

“That sounds great. When is that?”

“Next time is in about an hour. But there is an adult race just before it.”

“That will be lovely, thank you. Does that sound okay, Jaxx? You’ll try the red car first, and show Mila? And you can try a kart with other kids if you want later.”

If he wanted to, he could drive the car again after Mila lost interest. Though, the car had her horse on it. Max wasn’t sure if she had a favorite color yet, but it was probably going to be Rosso Corsa at this rate.

“Okay,” Jaxx agreed.

“Everyone should get to drive a Ferrari at least once,” Charles directed at Max.

“You know I own a Ferrari.” Charles had teased him when he got it- actually, well before Max got it. He had to wait about a year for it to arrive, but there were articles before that.

“Yes. A very nice one. And I have not gotten to touch it yet. Or ride in it or drive it. Max, this is Tom.”

“You have mentioned him before,” Max said. “Hello,” Max greeted, holding out his hand.

Tom had a large build, like his father. He wasn’t fat, but just large, broad. Not a good build for a racer. Jules had been the right build. Medium shoulders, narrow waist. Like Charles. Even looking somewhat alike, everyone would swear. Knowing the Leclercs, Max could find similarities between Lorenzo and Charles. But, at first seeing, someone might have thought Jules was his older brother instead, when they were young.

Tom spoke to Charles in French. Max caught the expected pieces. The sorry. The happy. The kids. Max could have guessed what the message was anyway.

“Ah, Tom says he is sorry for your loss, and happy that you and the kids are here today.”

“Merci,” Max answered.

Max and Charles helped the kids into the little car.

Tom took up a position of waving people away who were watching, thinking about talking to one of them, probably Max or Charles. Max just functioned in public by ignoring people usually. Not making eye contact to invite them to bother him. Trying to not have too private of conversations with people around, but also not letting people control his life. 

Tom made a good bodyguard. It was nice to have someone doing that.

It hadn’t occurred to Max until seeing Jaxx drive that they were lucky Jaxx hadn’t developed a fear of cars.

Lucky that Max hadn’t either.

Though it wasn’t like he was unfamiliar with driver death. Everyone in Formula One had to be. Max thought of Jules every Suzuka and Anthoine every Spa. It didn’t stop Spa from being his favorite track. Max didn’t know them that well, but they’d been there, and he’d been there, and he remembered. It didn’t really matter that it had taken months for Jules to fully die. That crash had been fatal.

Max didn’t know which was easier for family. Neither was good. And Jules’s death wasn’t really slow, not like Charles’s father’s. When there was time to say whatever they wanted to say. Time to lie that Charles had a Formula One contract with Ferrari for 2019 when he hadn’t even signed with Sauber for 2018 yet. Jules’s death was the worst of both ways, maybe, especially for kids. Max couldn’t imagine taking the kids to the hospital to visit a parent that they were increasingly sure each day would never wake up.

Jaxx could operate the car adequately. He went along the paths he was on, weaving whenever he felt like it. He didn’t treat it like a track. Or he didn’t know how to. 

Max didn’t really remember learning how to attack a corner. It would have been on a simulator first. Max remembered doing that, on his dad’s in their home at the time. Nowhere near as nice as Max’s now. Not as nice as Max’s first one that was his own.

Max wasn’t sure what to do if Jaxx did not have the talent for it but wanted to be competitive anyway. Well, he did know. He’d support him. Maybe with good training anyone could be decent. Like Raymond’s son Thierry. Jaxx could be better than that, Max thought. If he wanted to be- and kept wanting to be when he was older. It didn’t help Theirry that he didn’t get in a kart until he was twelve. Probably people learn everything better when they are young, or something.

“They are here,” Charles said, putting his phone back in his pocket just as Arthur called out. 

Max still couldn’t get over him sounding so much like Charles. 

Charles greeted his brothers with the near cheek kisses and the same with his mother but she held his cheek. 

“Pascale,” Philippe greeted as he hugged her. Then he spoke some French that was basically saying it was good to see her, and she was looking so beautiful. And Pascale said… something about her hair.

Max felt a hand on his shoulder. “Do I get to race against the World Champion?” Arthur asked. 

Max watched Philippe greet Lorenzo every bit as warmly as Charles. Maybe a bit less energy, but that was to do with the person.

Max remembered reading that Lorenzo flew to Japan with Jules’s parents and siblings after it happened.

“Sure.” Max agreed to Arthur. Karting, yes. Max was eager to get behind the wheel, and he assumed they would probably be with whoever else was signed up to race at a time slot. Probably they needed time slots on a busy Sunday. Probably Charles had reserved them a time, or Philippe would just make it happen- which was maybe egotistical of Max to think.

“I’m going to pick the best kart,” Arthur commented.

“That’s fine,” Max said. He hoped Arthur didn’t actually come enough to know the best one. Arthur gave brief greetings to Philippe and Tom before saying in French that he was going to go inspect the karts.

The casual comfortableness. Some would take it as an insult to his business, that some karts were better than others- even though that was inevitable, really. Philippe laughed. Arthur was definitely the little brother who never worried that a single person didn’t love him.

The kids were getting further ahead along a grassy field now. No one seemed to mind the car on the grass. Pascale was not far behind them, and Lorenzo was running to catch up. The car did not go very fast. 

“Charles, how is Charlotte?” Philippe asked. 

Max should follow the kids. 

“I have told you a hundred times, we are just friends. But she is doing well.”

“Sometimes ‘just friends’ become more.”

“She doesn’t like me racing, and I can talk about improved safety features, but I can’t promise nothing will happen.”

“I understand,” the older man answered. Not upset. He understood.

Kelly had understood. That hadn’t been their problem.

“It is good to be with someone who understands,” the older man said, and then he asked quietly in French, “Est-ce que tu sors avec cet homme?”

That was definitely a question to Charles and about Charles that ended in ‘with this man’.

Max looked over at Charles. And Charles looked nervous.

There wasn’t anyone else within hearing distance. Tom was an excellent bodyguard.

“Max knows some French,” Charles said.

Which… that was a thing Charles knew about him, apparently. Max didn’t think he’d ever spoken more than the most basic, basic things in French around Charles. Hello, goodbye, thank you. It was what Max felt most confident saying. But it should be surprising that Charles knew he understood more. Max noticed immediately that Lando understood a lot of Dutch, even if he wouldn’t speak it. If Charles remembered, it came up years ago while Max was still taking French in school. And there had been a few videos with language exchange with Pierre. Though it was speaking, so he probably just would know from that that Max sounded terrible. And that Max did not take marketing seriously.

“Not that much. I’m not sure what you said. It’s fine,” Max said.

If Tom wanted a job with bodyguarding or crowd control, Max would figure out introducing him to the right people.

“He asked if we are dating,” Charles said anyway. “We are not,” he said to the older man.

“I am sorry,” Philippe said. Philippe.

“It’s fine,” Charles brushed off.

“I will… give you alone?” Philippe offered.

“It’s fine,” Max said at the same time that Charles thanked him.

So this was going to be a conversation.

“It’s fine, really,” Max repeated when they were alone. Philippe taking up position similar to his son in a different direction. It still felt vulnerable, outside. Or, much more likely because of the subject. 

Which should be Charles feeling vulnerable, not Max. If Philippe was implying something about Charles.

“It’s why I did not try to stay at night in Monaco, even though I wanted to. You should know before you invite a man into your bed that… he likes men. It…. is okay if that is not okay. It does not make you a bad person. I should not have ever done it, without you knowing- but I did not plan us to share a bed the first night. I just wanted to help. And then… I wanted to help again. But I drew a line at home, without you knowing. And I should have explained instead of just leaving.”

“Do a lot of drivers know? About you liking men?” Max asked.

“Only Pierre. Anthoine knew. We… were actually each other’s first kisses.”

What?

“Oh… sorry,” Max managed. 

What was he supposed to say? He could still see the kids in the further distance. He should encourage Mila to try driving, but she must be happy enough, or Pascale would have done something. 

“Pierre introduced us. Well… we had known each other before, of course, for many years, you know. But Pierre told each of us that the other liked boys.”

“How did… Pierre know that about you?”

“Oh, I told Pierre at some point when I was very young- complained that I had a crush on Jules, but he would only ever see me as a kid. I might have been seven or eight. I had to accept eventually that he saw me as a little brother. And he was straight. I really did love Jules as family. And Pierre lived with Anthoine in boarding school. I don’t know the story of him coming out. Maybe Pierre would tell me now. Are… we okay? If you don’t want to drive back with me-“

“It’s fine. Of course it is fine, Charles. I am not homophobic.”

“You don’t have to be homophonic to be upset that I shared your bed without telling you.”

“I… needed help,” Max admitted. Needed exactly the help Charles gave. Maybe it was easier to say it in the past tense. Like he didn’t still need it. “And… I am not good at asking for help.”

“I’m there whenever you need,” Charles promised.

It was weird. That Max had an easier time accepting help from Charles than from the others. From his own family, or people who could be hired. Christian and Marko had said that Red Bull could hire anyone for anything. They would make sure it was outside the cost cap.  

Maybe Max did not like how pragmatic thinking of that was.

Charles was personal.

Charles just said he had wanted to stay the night.

“You can stay over whenever you want. But you don’t have to feel like you have to. I am less bad at this than at first.”

“You were amazing at it from the beginning.”

Charles had literally found Max freaking out while sitting on the ground. Leaving the kids longer at the hospital than necessary.

“You were amazing,” Max mumbled. 

“Thank you. Are you okay to race karts soon?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“No reason. But you do not have to be.”

“I never miss an opportunity to beat you on track.”

“I will not let you win,” Charles teased.

“Fuck you.”

Charles laughed. 

Max didn’t just lose the race to Charles, but to Arthur as well.

Lorenzo was fourth, beating the random people who were racing with them.

And in the randomly chosen starting positions, Charles had started behind Max, and had actually gotten past him and all the way to the front. Arthur had started ahead of Max at least.

Charles set the track fastest lap record since whenever they last cleared the records. Though he probably held it overall as well. 

Obviously track familiarity was a massive advantage.

And probably having the best kart. Even at a good track, rental karts could be vastly unequal. And, probably Max was a few kilos heavier, and they of course were not weight equalized.

Max was entirely mature about it.

And there were no available puddles.

Max took pictures with some of the other people they raced with, and saw Charles and even Arthur doing the same.

Tom moved people along eventually when the younger kids needed to get to the smaller karts, and took a group picture of Max and Charles and Arthur with the kids lining up for their race.

Such a good crowd controller.

“I beat you,” Arthur bragged.

Max found the words for what about Arthur he wanted for the kids. To be comfortable being annoying as hell, and knowing that it didn’t matter, that people who mattered would love them anyway.

But Arthur was not that much younger than Max, so Max didn’t have to be the mature one this time.

“You started ahead of me, and picked your kart first. And you lost to Charles.”

“You were closer to Lorenzo than to me. And I have beaten Charles other days. He was having a too perfect day. I think he wanted to impress you.”

Annoying as fuck. Max should call Victoria and say what a good little sister she is.

Max knew Arthur was a good man. Max was lucky to be the oldest, because he would have been a terrible little brother.

Pascale had gotten Jaxx In a little racing suit before Max got over to them. It definitely wasn’t the first time Jaxx had worn one, but it was the first time Max had seen him in one in person.

Max took pictures and told Jaxx how great he looked.

Philippe spoke close to Charles’s ear something that Max couldn’t hear. There was a lot of noise And people. Max tried to just ignore it as always.

“We can watch the race upstairs,” Charles relayed. Somewhat close to Max’s ear.

“Yeah, okay,” Max agreed. They were making a scene. Jaxx was okay. Lorenzo was standing there. Mila was with Pascale. Jaxx wouldn’t know the difference, and Max would be there when he was done.

Max kissed Jaxx on the top of his head and said he’d be watching.

Philippe followed them up. Well, followed Charles who knew where they were going.

Philippe said he was sorry in French as soon as they were upstairs behind a closed door. Some sort of office with a good view of the track. And Max caught ‘I want’ and ‘happy’. It wasn’t hard to fill in the gaps. 

“I am happy,” Charles answered in English. “I’m glad Max knows about me. It feels good to not keep the secret around another person.”

“What did you tell him?” Philippe asked.

“That I’m bisexual. Maybe I did not use that word? But I told him about kissing Anthoine and my crush on Jules.”

The race below began. The higher elevation did give a much better view than Max would have had down there. Max didn’t know how long the race was for the kids. That… was what Max should be focusing on. Not a retelling of a conversation Max was already there for.

“I hoped he would give you chance when you grew up. What does… gender mean to this love that you stay by his hospital bed?”

That… was one way of looking at it. Not a popular way, Max imagined. Bi for the right guy.

“They said he might know someone was there,” Charles said. “Might have even heard…”

“He did. This was when I knew you were my son. Not replace, only add. And not need to marry Mélanie or Tom.”

This conversation felt incredibly private, but they were having it in English. To make sure Max could understand. For some reason.

There were only ten karts on the track, but Max couldn’t tell which was Jaxx’s. None of them had had any major problems. Some clouting the walls, but all still moving. They were not very fast. It could not really be called racing.

“ Mélanie was already married,” Charles laughed. Almost laughed or something. Charles was used to bearing his soul in tragedy. He did it for reporters, so this… was easier, probably. “Neither would not have worked any better than with Jules. I did learn to love him as my brother- eventually. I do not think Jules would have seen me as anything else, no matter how old I got. Even if he realized he liked other men, which I don’t think he would. I was his baby brother. His godson. No, I think he and Camilla would have stayed together.”

“Did you see the pictures of her little girl?”

“Yes. Very cute.”

“Blonde. Jules’s baby would be dark hair, I think.”

“I think so.”

“You are a wonderful young man, my son. I am so proud of all that you do.”

“I still have a chance at second in points this year,” Charles said. Even though they all knew the older man wasn’t talking about that. Or at least not mostly. There are lots of things to be proud of Charles for. 

“I am proud of this too. I watch even free practice.”

Max wouldn’t be doing that. He knew Fernando hadn’t, during his break from the sport. It was not just boring, it was nearly useless without knowing a lot of things that Max would not know from his couch at home. He hadn’t watched it on his week off. Not just because he was busy. 

Whenever Max retired, he wondered if he would come back like Fernando. Like Kimi. Like Michael. 

“How is Jaxx doing?” Charles asked.

Max was staring out the window. “I don’t know which is him,” Max admitted.

“Oh. I am sorry,” Charles said like it was his fault.

“Blue Helmet,” Philippe supplied.

Max stared and could make it out. He hadn’t seen Jaxx in the helmet, and they all were different colors. Jaxx was in the middle of the pack. Max didn’t remember where the blue helmet had begun the race. He… had been distracted. No one in the race was particularly impressive. Which didn’t matter. Jaxx was still only three. And kids had to be at least four to kart here, Max had seen. Officially, anyway. Charles had first karted here at three and a half. Max had heard Charles tell reporters.

Probably most of these kids were twice Jaxx’s age. Some of them had probably driven more than Jaxx, and others less. Of course, these wouldn’t be weight adjusted, and Jaxx was probably the smallest. Max saw him get passed by another kid, but there was minimal contact. Probably Jaxx was getting tired. How long was the kid race? Was it even considered a race, or just track time? Were they tracking the lap times?

“When are they done?” Max asked. Kid races were not usually very long. No races at rented tracks were usually very long.

Philippe looked at his phone, “Almost done,” he said.

Jaxx was grumpy when Max helped him take off the helmet.

Max remembered so, so many races when he was glad to keep the helmet on afterwards, to hide his face. It hadn’t even occurred to him that maybe he should have let Jaxx have that. But he also wanted to know what Jaxx was feeling.

“I lost,” Jaxx complained in Dutch.

Was talking about winning and losing done in Dutch around Jaxx? The ‘secret’ language for them? Was Jaxx naturally using it to not be understood by those around them? Of course, Most of Jaxx’s life was surely just surrounded by people who spoke Dutch. Maybe it was a comfort? Or completely random?

“You did not crash, which is the important thing. You did very well.”

Should he make excuses for Jaxx? The others being older? Really, Jaxx was too young for racing. He was supposed to be young for even driving the kart at all.

“If you want to get better at racing, we can practice more. We can get you your own sim setup. But it is also okay to just have fun.”

“I want a sim.”

Was that something that was supposed to wait for a major occasion? It was a long time for a kid as young as Jaxx to wait for Christmas, and his birthday was even further. There wasn’t any good reason to wait. Jaxx was too young to do anything to ‘earn’ it. He still needed guidance and help picking up his own toys, which was normal for that age.

“Okay, we will make a plan to get you a sim. It might take a little while,” Max warned. Max didn’t know anything about getting a proper sim that size. P didn’t have one. But she had liked watching Max just like Jaxx. Maybe it didn’t hurt so much to think about.

Jaxx drove the little red car again. Max only saw about a minute of Mila driving it first, but she had driven it during Jaxx’s race. Mila seemed at least as happy riding as driving. There was only one scary moment when she started trying to get out when it was still moving. But the car was so slow and light that there was no actual danger, and so many adults around. Tom picked her up immediately and handed her to Charles. More good bodyguard behavior. Or good parent behavior. Mila didn’t seem to know that the adults had even been worried. If they got a little car like that, they would need to talk to the kids about safety. Max would need to.

Charles silently offered to give Mila to Max, but she was comfortable.

It seemed like Charles was Mila’s new favorite place to nap. She looked drowsy already.

Max chased after Jaxx instead.

They had dinner at a place Charles requested in Nice. It was not too fancy, which Max appreciated, especially for the kids.

The waiter clearly knew who Charles and Max were, and spoke to Max in English. The man looked delighted when Max answered in careful French that definitely sounded quite bad. Charles and Pascale helped the kids order.

Charles tried to pay for the bill, but Philippe had already taken care of it.

Max wasn’t used to that. Usually it only made sense that Max paid for things. Sometimes Martin would buy drinks if they were out together. But most people didn’t try. They weren’t only hanging out with him for his money- not most of them- but he made a stupid amount of money. He could afford it, and it was easier than worrying about splitting the bill.

But it was nice. For someone else to do it. For multiple people to try to do it. It was nice.

Charles drove them home.

Home meaning Monaco. Not to Charles’s home. He drove them to Max’s home. And it was Jaxx and Mila’s home now too.

In a car ride with mostly French children’s music playing. Max hoped to keep the kids awake longer so they’d sleep through the night. Missing a nap could be fixed with an early bedtime, right? Though Mila had taken a nap on Charles. For a little while, at least. If those kids were going to fall asleep, they would no matter what music was playing. 

Max needed to get special mirrors to check on kids in rear facing seats. Of course, this was Charles’s car. But Charles would get them if he knew about them. Unless they were dangerous in a car crash. Maybe there was a correct angle where they would be safe.

The excitement of the day had the kids tired. Max hoped early to sleep didn’t mean wake up in the middle of the night.

Max kept them awake- with Charles’s help- through teeth brushing, using the toilet, and getting into sleep clothes.

When they were done, the kids didn’t even want a book, just passed out.

Max wondered if it was too early to take King out for his last walk.

“I- hope you had a good day,” Charles said softly after Max closed the door to the kids’ room.

“I would have liked another race to beat you,” Max said.

“We could have gone again,” Charles pointed out. “Or, next time, if we gave more notice, Philippe would close a track for a morning for us. Well, I would pay him, of course.”

“You don’t have to pay for things. You keep… doing things.”

“I like helping. I can leave- after walking King, of course. But with the kids, if you don’t want me helping, I can stop. If you are not comfortable. Of course my mother can do any helping you need.”

“It’s not late enough to be King’s last walk yet. I can get the security guard later if you need to leave.”

“I just have an empty apartment. I don’t have to be anywhere. But I can leave if you need.” 

Why would Max need that?

“No secret boyfriend you’re hiding from Philippe?” Max awkwardly teased.

“No boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“I am just… still surprised that boyfriend would be an option.”

“Sorry. I really should have told you before we shared a bed. I just wanted to help. I promise I just wanted to help. It was nothing inappropriate.”

Obviously.

“I’m not homophobic. I just thought you were… really straight.”

“Not very many people know. No one at Ferrari. Maybe… maybe I will change that some time.”

“Everyone sent me that video with the guessing the F1 driver, and Seb asked if you thought I was pretty. And you said you don’t know because you are a man.”

“Oh.”

“It was funny. I mean-” Max started. 

“It wasn’t funny. I panicked. I tried to laugh and say the most straight thing I could think of. I did not mean… no, I did mean how it sounded, but I regret it now.”

“It’s fine. It was a bad question. You couldn’t- it was a bad question.”

“Because everyone on the grid is pretty?” Charles asked.

“No they are not,” Max objected. “I am sure they are not. Pretty is like… soft, yes? I mean… features soft in the face? Maybe…” Someone who wasn’t Charles. “Maybe Yuki is pretty?” Max suggested. “I know I am not pretty. You could have just told Seb no. But then he would not know which pictures to eliminate. Because it was a terrible question.”

“Maybe if you are strict in definition, you are more handsome than pretty, if this is your meaning.”

Charles was both. So, so pretty when they were younger. His first year in F1. He got more manly, more handsome, as he aged, but he was still pretty, Max could tell. Anyone could tell. It was as close to objective fact as appearance went.

And Charles was kind, to say that about Max.

“Thanks.”

“I’m not hitting on you,” Charles jumped to say. “Just being honest and think you should know- in case you do not hear enough. Which probably you hear it all the time, that you are handsome. And I am hoping I have not made it too awkward?”

Like Max would ever think Charles was hitting on him.

“I know you are not hitting on me. And nothing is awkward if you don’t let it be awkward.”

“Nothing is awkward?”

“No.”

Max hadn’t actually shared a bed with someone who wasn’t a girlfriend since F3 races with his father, but… it wasn’t that different. Than sharing with his father, or with Victoria when they were even younger. Of course it wasn’t like sharing with a girlfriend.

“Do you want… to watch something until it is late enough to take King out?” Charles asked.

Neither of them were the biggest tv watchers, Max knew.

“Do you want to watch a race?” Max offered.

“Yes!”

King didn’t bother them until the race was over. He’d been asleep on the couch next to Charles most of the race. They kept quiet and paused often. They picked an F1 race from before either of them were in F1. Both had clearly watched the race before. One of Seb’s many Red Bull wins. And Charles, for all that he knew the man and had beaten the man across both of their seasons as teammates, was a massive Sebastian Vettel fan. Even though young Seb was a shit stirrer. Maybe a little bit because of that. Maybe none of them were so different, and Charles just always looked like an angel.

King whined, and Charles cooed at him, petted him, and went for the leash. Which, of course, Charles knew where it was. Charles probably knew where everything in the apartment was. 

Max sat on the couch and petted the cats. It was getting late. Well, not really. Not actually late at all. But Max was tired. And the kids would probably wake up early.

King went right to his crate when Charles took the leash off. Charles shut it.

The cats jumped down to investigate. They did okay with the dog. Maybe as well as with the kids. Which is to say they mostly kept out of reach or with something between them, just in case. But they could exist in the same room, and that was enough. They had not seen Charles for long without the kids or dog. They didn’t seem to mind him. All of them were just staring at each other.

“Do you want to stay the night? Max asked. “You don’t have to, of course. Just… if you do not want to go home to your empty apartment.”

“I can help with the kids and King in the morning,” Charles said. Rationalized, maybe. He wanted to stay, Max was pretty sure. He had said he wanted to before, but couldn’t anymore without Max knowing about him. And he was used to sharing rooms with his brothers.

“Mila looks for you in the morning. Jaxx asked where you were this morning too.” Was that too much? “I mean, you don’t have to-”

“I’ll stay until Maman gets here tomorrow.”

There.

“You can borrow something to sleep in, and we have a box of unused toothbrushes, but they are all animals meant for kids.”

“I know. Arthur picked them. I want the panda.”

Maybe it was that easy.

Chapter Text

*****Charles*****

It was not the first time Charles woke up in bed with Max, but it was the first after Max knew about Charles liking men and didn’t care.

That was very nice.

Charles woke to the door opening, he was pretty sure. He woke up more fully to a child’s hand patting his face.

“Karting?” Jaxx asked.

“Not today,” Max answered, even though the question was at Charles. Because Charles had driven them to the track and knew Philippe. “But I will start looking for a sim rig your size, I promise. We can practice together on mine today.”

That would be adorable. Jaxx sitting on Max’s lap. Max using the pedals Jaxx couldn’t reach. Maybe letting Jaxx actually control the steering wheel, or maybe guiding it a little- or a lot.

Charles wanted to see.

Maybe his mother would take a picture.

Charles should leave after they were settled for the morning.

Maybe when his mother arrived. Or maybe before, so he wouldn’t have to answer any questions. Probably his mother would at least be discreet enough to ask later.

“Jaxx, did you use the toilet this morning?” Max asked.

“Yes!”

“Did you wash your hands after?”

Jaxx said something in Dutch.

“We always wash our hands after the toilet. Even only pee. Did you- Jaxx, did you touch Charles’s face?”

Ah. That was gross. But Jaxx was just a little boy. It probably wasn’t actually dirtier than face licks from dogs. Charles could wash his face.

“I am not upset,” Charles said.

Max sighed. “Jaxx, can you say sorry?” Max asked.

“Sorry.”

“Let’s learn it in French. Charles will say it better.”

That was sweet.

“‘Sorry’ is ‘désolé’ So ‘I’m sorry’ is ‘Je suis désolé’. Can you say ‘désolé?’”

“Désolé.”

Jaxx was good at mimicking.

“Vey good, Jaxx. Let’s wash our hands,” Charles encouraged. And Charles’s face.

Jaxx ran out the room before Charles sat up.

“If you google hand washing after the toilet, the Netherlands are worst in Europe. Only fifty percent. My mother said that was gross and taught us better. ”

Max always knew a lot of unusual information.

"That is good," Charles answered. Even though usually Max did not need a response to his facts.

All of them took King for a walk.

Charles’s options were wearing what he wore the day before, or wearing something borrowed from Max to go outside.

Honestly, what he wore of Max’s to sleep in was normal to walk a dog in, and he did not need to get more of Max’s clothes dirty. He had not sweated too much, even though he did not usually wear a shirt to sleep. He usually had more blankets or a thicker comforter, so maybe it evened out, because he was comfortable through the night.

Was bed warmth shared when they weren’t touching?

Charles wore a plain white shirt and navy running shorts with an elastic waist. They were close enough to the same size that everything fit. Charles wore oversized shirts much bigger than this often anyway, and he did not always wear fancy brands. It was not like anything said ‘Red Bull’ on it anywhere. No one would suspect the clothes weren’t his. Charles could have picked changing into the lime green running shorts. Max did own things in many colors.

The walk was nice. Monaco citizens were usually discrete. A few people said hello, but Charles just waved back, and that was fine. King knew how to walk on the leash very well, just like on their other walks. He was a very good boy and did not try to dart towards the roads or anything dangerous. When there was someone walking a cat, he did not bother them at all. Such a good boy. Which didn’t mean that other dogs who couldn’t do that were bad, just that they were more difficult to walk. In Monaco, there were several cat walkers, and Charles had seen a person who often walked with a ferret or two. Charles had petted one of the ferrets before. And once someone had a large lizard. Larger than Charles had thought a person could own. Charles hadn’t petted it or wanted to.

“Have you tried taking Jimmy and Sassy for a walk?” 

“They don’t like the harness, and is too busy here to let them loose. Jimmy is okay with the cat backpack, but they are happier at home, I think.”

Max got a text that Maman arrived. She had Max’s spare key and would start cooking breakfast.

She had maybe already seen something of Charles’s around the apartment, or his car if she came that way and looked for it.

There was no reason to be nervous, because nothing was going on. Obviously. Charles wondered if Maman or Lorenzo had talked to Philippe after the talk with Max.

Charles followed them up, greeted his maman like it was completely normal for him to be there in the morning in Monaco… and his mother acted like it was. And Max did too. And of course the kids thought it was normal.

Max declined breakfast. Charles had just a bit. Jaxx and Mila were probably working on growth spurts.

Charles left after breakfast. He needed to… be in his own space. He had a meeting or two at some point, and he should look at some data. Maybe play piano. Eat the food that was sitting in his own refrigerator.

He needed to let them have some time to just be a little family.

Well, family and Charles’s Maman. But maybe she would become family.

Maybe he would be someday. Like Philippe to Papa, and to the three kids. Charles was honestly closer to Philippe than to his uncle, and he did love his uncle.

It was so quiet at his apartment.

Maybe if Maman was still with Max and the kids later, Charles would have dinner with Arthur.

After his very important meetings about… Charles didn’t know or care what the meetings were about. He would find out when the Zoom call started. No, he wouldn’t. He would check the topics and be as prepared as possible in the somewhat limited time he’d saved for it, but it would be better than nothing.

Charles’s maman sent him pictures of Jaxx sitting on Max’s lap, moving the sim wheel. Charles did not even have to ask for them. Of course Charles texted Max about them. And some information he found about a kids sim setup. Charles wasn’t sure where Max would put it. Maybe in the kids’ room. But it would look so cute in the sim room next to Max’s.

He needed to give them time on their own as a family, he reminded himself yet again.

He had already seen them today, since he woke up there. A night away would be good for all of them, and maybe he could see them tomorrow. Which would still be seeing them every day. Which was probably too much. But Max could tell someone to fuck off when he needed to.

*****Max*****

Max worked out over Zoom with Brad while Pascale watched the kids.

He showered and then went to his sim.

Since Max wasn’t streaming, he left the door open. Which was inviting distraction.

Jaxx was there before he even started a race.

“Do you want to watch me for a while, or give it a try?” Max asked.

“I can drive?” Jaxx checked.

“You are too little to do pedals and wheel on my big sim, but you can sit on my lap and do steering.”

“Okay,” Jaxx agreed, raising up his arms.

“Let me get it set up first.”

Usually when Max was doing something less serious, he used the profile with his dad’s name on it. He probably used it when Jaxx raced in his lap last time. Of course, that profile was highly ranked too. Maybe it made more sense to start a new one. It could be Jaxx’s one day, when Jaxx was ready for iRacing. Assuming iRacing was still good then. They’d get something simpler for his little sim at first.

Except the setup needed work, and a new account was another yearly cost, which was nothing to him and not a big deal, and Max was always willing to fix problems with money. But this was silly. If they stuck to test sessions, there would be no one else there, and it would not affect rating, so account didn’t matter. Even in a practice session with other people, it wouldn’t affect rating, and Jaxx would not know the difference between computers and other people. And Jaxx would not be able to recognize the name an account was named, because he could not read.

Max just used his own account, because it wouldn’t matter anyway, and it was the account already logged in. He sets up a test session at Watkins Glen, no chicane, no boot, because he remembered seeing that as something good for beginners. He picked a GT4 car, and put everything on the gentlest steering settings with the least forceful feedback. The settings least likely to snap and actually hurt anyone, because that could happen.

“Photos?” Pascale asked, holding up her phone.

“Can you teach us in French?” Max asked.

Pascale smiled widely.

“Puis-je prendre quelques photos?” Pascale said slowly.

French wasn’t so hard. Especially with new words after their language was modern or whatever, they would either use multiple French words to describe the new thing, or use the English word. Which, Dutch was similar, but often with different spelling. So the question part first, ‘Can I’, and quelques was some. And prendre was a word used a lot, including meaning taking something, so probably when someone speaking English said taking a photo, they used the word that usually translates to take. The Dutch word to use with pictures was ‘maken’. And German also, ‘machen’. Making sounded better than taking. Except with paparazzi, they were taking. But Max was not sure if that was intentional for the words to be like that.

“Oui” Max answered.

It was a difficult thing to do half the job driving. Much more difficult for Jaxx, of course, being so young. Max kept the car going slow and steady, so Jaxx had more time to turn. He wasn’t really sure if that was the right way to do it or not.

It was easier with a two seater. Max could sort of remember being in a two seater kart with his father, and Uncle Michael in the other car with Gina or Mick. The sort of memory that was more the memory of being told about it a lot. He knew it happened on several weekends on some property the Schumachers owned. The kid could drive, but then the father could take over if it was getting dangerous.

Max didn’t remember if his mother ever drove in the two-seater with him against the Schumachers. Certainly she could do it. Because almost any adult could do it, but of course she could do it better than most, as a former karter herself.

Probably they could find a place to rent some two seater karts. If the Bianchis did not have any, probably they would let Max bring some rented from somewhere else. Or Max could just buy some. Mila would probably like that, riding with Charles. Probably she wouldn’t care about driving, like with Jaxx in the little electric car. But maybe in a year or two she would become more interested in driving herself. Or she could be interested in something else.

That was… planning far in advance.

Probably Max was not doing a very good job helping Jaxx use the sim. He wasn’t giving any advice at all, and he was not even paying that much attention to the pedals. Jaxx was just driving it around at mostly one slow speed like it was the kids electric Ferrari.

Max had done some coaching before, but only with people old enough to look at data and learn like that. To talk through things, almost like when he would debrief with Charles after a race.

They didn’t do that after karting.

Max didn’t remember.

There was a lot going on right after karting.

Quite a lot.

Before and after.

Possibly it had distracted Max from racing his best. Which, it should not work like that. It wasn’t a big deal that Charles liked men. Liking men didn’t mean he liked Max like that, obviously. Men could be friends with men. Max’s job was just to act like complete normal and not make it weird.

Well, normal was not maybe the right word.

Because nothing was normal with either of them. Especially now, but maybe never.

Would Charles still want to debrief from karting, or just wait for the next time they went? Charles had mentioned going again sometime, hadn’t he? He clearly went sometimes.

“Puis-je envoyer ces photos à Charles?”

Pascale was still standing there.

“What? Ah- oui,” Max answered. Sending pictures to Charles was fine.

“Pouvez-vous-” Max started. “Envoyer photos à moi?” Max asked, pretty sure that was an awkward way of saying it, to go along with his bad accent, but she would understand that he was asking her to send him the pictures too. “S'il te plaît,” Max added for politeness.

“Oui,” Pascale agreed.

“Would you like to try a formula car, Jaxx?” Max asked.

“Oui!” Jaxx answered. Which was very smart of him.

Max hadn’t even looked at any kind of nursery school. It was never his job to have an opinion on that sort of thing with P, and he didn’t even know what the options were. They had time. If it did not work out this January or even next year, Jaxx would not be behind. He was only three, and he knew a lot of words. In multiple languages. It would be fine.

Max picked the Formula Vee car. He drove it once when they added the car to iRacing. A free car that was supposed to be good for new drivers.

Max remembered that racing line graphics existed. He never recommended them, because they were bullshit and taught bad habits and people learned to pay attention to the line, not the track, and they were never quite the fastest line anyway. But Jaxx was three. He was not going to memorize the track corners. And he was not even controlling the acceleration or breaks. Max turned the line on.

“The line you will see is just for teaching. You can try to drive near the line. It is not always the very best way around the track, but we can use it today,” Max explained, even though that was a very hard concept that would not make sense.

Max wasn’t sure if the line helped, or if it was only from Max doing a better job communicating. They went faster. Max showed him the gears, even though they could just stay in third the whole time on the simple track.

Pascale and Mila came in and out of the room a few times. And the cats and dog. The cats sometimes climbed the cat tree to get away from the dog, and Max thought it made him sad. At some point, King would probably try to climb the cat tree and be very bad at it.

Testing was unlimited timing, so there was not an easy transition activity time.

“Jaxx, do you want to go give King a treat? Because he is being so good not barking at the cats?”

King had laid down at the bottom of the cat tree, not even looking at it.

Max had seen videos of people’s houses with things all along the walls for cats to go all over the place up in the air.

“Treat time?” Jaxx asked.

Max wasn’t sure if Jaxx was intentionally misunderstanding Max or not.

“Let’s see. A treat for King, and we will see what we have for human treats too. And then I need to practice on the sim after, okay? You can watch or play with Pascale and Mila.”

What was the healthiest thing that could be called a treat? Pascale would know what to do.

Jaxx and Mila had apples dipped in nutella, and Max checked his phone.

Texts from Charles about the pictures of Jaxx and Max that Pascale had sent him.

And a link for a kid-sized sim that a company would custom make for quality. And also a link for a cheaper option.

Max looked at the custom build. All they needed was Jaxx’s height, weight, and age, and Max knew the height and weight from Jaxx’s doctor visit. And the sim could adjust as he grew. Good enough. Max thanked Charles and said he ordered it.

Max ate, and practiced on the sim, and then played toys with Mila and Jaxx. The horse raced with the cars.

Nap time, television time, dinner. 

When the kids were napping, Max asked Pascale to pick a French children’s show. 

“Lorenzo, Charles, and Arthur loved Babar. Is elephant.”

“Great. I’ll find it.”

“Mama elephant dies,” Pascale warned. "Big part story."

Ah.

Well, they were still working on the concept of death anyway- which Pascale also knew. Maybe a television show would be easier to understand than a book.

Babar was all on Youtube in French and English. Max picked French. Immersion learning.

The four of them sat together. It was about an elephant who was a king, even though there were humans around, and he was telling stories to his kids. And the first episode had the mom die, shot by a hunter.

Neither of the kids were upset. Probably because they didn’t understand.

Charles probably learned about death from Babar the elephant, and he became emotionally healthy. Probably Babar was how Charles even knew there were children's stories about death. If Max had been looking for something French, he probably would have even suggested it.

Max did some more sim racing after the kids went to bed. Not too much, because they would wake up early.

Max got into his empty bed.

Which wasn’t unusual.

He’d only shared this particular bed one time since Kelly broke up with him. 

It was still the same mattress and sheets.

They’d been washed, of course, by the cleaning people.

Surely most people did not get rid of a bed, or even sheets when they broke up, did they? Max had spent countless nights on a hotel mattress, and so many different people had sex on those.

Probably if people were going to get new sheets, they would do it for starting a new relationship, not for ending an old one, and Max wasn’t close to that.

Max always slept pretty easily, wherever he was, no matter if he was alone or with someone, so it was not difficult to fall asleep.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Max woke up to multiple noises from his phone.

It was just Charles.

Charles who would assume that he wasn’t bothering Max in the morning, because Max would have do not disturb on like a normal person.

But when Max had added Pascale to those who got past his do not disturb at any hours of the day, he added Charles as well.

It had made sense at the time.

Pascale would be watching the kids without him soon. Adding Charles… Max was sure Charles would be willing to watch the kids if he was free when Max wasn’t. Though Lorenzo actually had done that, and Max hadn’t added him to the list. He should probably warn Pascale not to text at odd hours if it wasn’t an emergency, and make another way for her to contact him for a non-emergency, and change the settings for Charles, because there was no real reason for him to be there.

Max would probably have been woken up by the kids soon anyway.

Max opened up the messages.

Charles: Do you want to go see the Prince’s cars this evening? 

Charles: It closes at 6pm, so we can go there then with no people around and stay for an hour.

Charles: We can stay longer if the security staff is happy.

Charles: Unless you already have evening plans.

Max hadn’t seen Charles since he left in the morning the day before.

Which was very recently, obviously. Max had literally only seen the kids and Pascale more recently than that. And Brad if over Zoom counted. And strangers on walks, but they didn’t count.

Sounds good.

Charles: Maybe we can take a picture of the kids in your Red Bull?

Max knew that Charles owned his first two F1 cars and that he stored them in the Prince’s car collection. It was a convenient place to store an F1 car in Monaco. If Charles was smart, the country gave him some compensation for allowing them to be part of the collection. Maybe Max should have looked into it. Red Bull had signed contracts with Vettel that let him keep their cars. It came up as an option in Max’s negotiations. 

Max had other priorities. More money, extra money tied to performance clauses. And exit clauses. Charles definitely hadn’t asked Ferrari for exit clauses. Max was pretty sure Charles would stay there as long as they let him. Ferrari ditched everyone eventually. Max was sure they even pushed out Michael, just more subtly. Encouraged him to retire. All teams kicked out drivers, of course, if the driver didn’t leave them first. Or offered one year contracts they expected the driver to take and not fuck off to Renault and then McLaren.

The security guard would have to be in a very good mood. I don’t own any of my old F1 cars. The Prince must have bought it from Red Bull.

Charles: Oh.

Charles: Well, they can sit in my car if you are okay with that?

Charles: The Ferrari, or the Alfa Romeo if that would be more okay than the Ferrari?

Either is fine.

Charles: You can sit in it too if you want.

Charles: I won’t take any pictures.

Charles: Unless you want pictures.

I’ll see you tonight. The kids will need to eat dinner before. Your mother is cooking if you want to come.

Charles: Thank you.

Charles: I’ll see you then.

Charles: What time?

Dinner at five. Come whenever.

It was a nice plan to tell the kids. They would enjoy it.

*****Max*****

Max always complained that the race calendar was too long, too many races fit in the year. Especially with the plan for twenty-four next year. When Max started in F1, there were only nineteen races in a year. He felt old complaining about it. Some sort of ‘back in my day’ meme.

Now, he was the legal guardian for two kids. And a dog. Which needed a lot more time than the cats. He objectively had less free time than ever before. Or at least since he was still in school and karting.

And he didn’t know what to do all day.

Maybe it was from being single. Being single and not trying to date anyone. Freed up a lot of time.

Pascale wasn’t coming by until later.

She had her own life and didn’t need to be over all the time.

Max started making eggs so they’d be ready before the kids woke up. Or at least before they left their room.

Max was perfectly capable of making eggs and toast. Wasn’t like he had to make the bread. He hadn’t even had to shop for it, which was nice.

Max being up and about made King whine to be let out, and he definitely wanted to be taken for a piss.

Okay, he wasn’t used to there not being another adult. And he couldn’t just open a door to let the dog piss and shit in the back garden.

He could bribe the security guard, or wake the kids up.

He had raw eggs just starting to cook in the pan.

And he forgot anything to not make them stick.

It was a nonstick pan, wasn’t it? Probably? Was that enough to not stick?

Maybe the kids were even awake and not gotten up yet.

Max turned off the stove, because he wasn’t going to burn the fucking building down. Worst case, the eggs would be ruined. They could sit in the pan for a few minutes though, he was sure.

Mila was awake, Jaxx still asleep. Max hadn’t expected that. She was sitting up in bed, playing with a book that she definitely couldn’t read. Actually, it was one of the kid books about death. So… that was probably weird. But it wasn’t like normal was an option. They were cute. Her sitting there, Jaxx asleep.

Mila looked at Max and lifted up her arms.

Max remembered someone saying something about you don’t know when it’ll be the last time you pick your kid up.

It was a silly thing to think about. Max was still working on the kids even being legally permanently his. And he definitely would be strong enough for a lot of years to lift either Jaxx or Mila. Probably even when they were adults with the right carrying technique. Grown men carried other grown men in emergency situations, or for fun sometimes.

Max scooped up Mila and kissed her forehead.

Her hair was sticking up. Max could manage the little pony tails she often wore just fine, but was that effort needed just for taking the dog on a walk?

Max leaned over and kissed Jaxx’s forehead.

“Goedemorgen. We need to take King for a walk. Quick toilet trip and shoes,” Max coached.

Jaxx groaned but got out of bed. His hair was sticking up too. 

Max got rid of Mila’s diaper and got her into new clothes and shoes. She picked a red dress. Nothing unusual about that. Leggings under in case there was morning cold, and a sweater.

“You need socks first,” Max reminded Jaxx.

Max got the leash on King. 

“Charles?” Mila asked.

Charles hadn’t been there last night. There was no real reason for her to think he would have appeared that morning. But she was also two years old.

“We will see Charles later tonight,” Max promised. “He is coming for dinner, and then he is taking us to see some very cool cars. Does that sound good?” Max asked.

“Good,” Mila agreed. Or just repeated. Probably she understood. She seemed to understand a lot.

Jaxx’s questions about the cars kept them busy going down the elevator.

Except that Max didn’t exactly know the answers.

“There will be cars of a lot of different colors,” Max promised.

“I don’t know how many cars there are.”

“No, we can’t drive them.”

“No, we can’t buy them.”

He would let the sitting in an actual F1 car be a surprise.

Probably, if everything had been normal, they would have sat in his current Red Bull when they visited in Austin.

It didn't help anyone to dwell on that.

Mila didn’t want to walk, so Max had her in his right arm, which was hard enough carrying a kid one armed in normal circumstances, and more so when he had the leash around his left wrist and looped into his hand, and Jaxx holding both his hand and the leash.

They only went as far as the patch of grass outside. 

Max forgot the shit bags.

Max paid the security guard enough money that the man definitely would have just taken King on a full walk.

By the time Max turned the stove on again, the eggs didn’t really scramble right. There were chunks of white that were too cooked to mix in with the rest, because he didn’t really mix them before he started scrambling. But, he got it cooked, and it wouldn’t make anyone sick.

“Where’s Pascale?” Jaxx asked when Maxx presented him with eggs and toast. The toast was perfectly cooked, even.

Great.

The three year old did not think Max could be trusted to cook.

Or he just wanted to know where she was.

"Pascale will come later."

The kids left at least half their eggs, so Jaxx had probably objected to Max's cooking. Max gave them each a granola bar that was probably too close to a cookie, but at least they wouldn’t be hungry.

Max ate the abandoned eggs. He could afford breakfast calories when he wasn’t drinking alcohol.

Maybe it wasn’t that he had free time, but that he didn’t know what the hell to do.

So he looked at the area of their closet that Lorenzo and Arthur had put things in. Art supplies.

Markers that only colored on the special paper.

Max hoped whoever made that was rich.

Drawing.

Playing with cars.

Drawing.

Playing on tablets- it was an educational game of some kind, Max was pretty sure. Though everything was educational for toddlers, wasn’t it? They needed to learn so many things.

A proper walk where Max brought the shit bags but King didn’t even need to shit.

Television while Max prepared lunch. Max put on Babar the elephant again. Max could hear it and look over and see them from the connected kitchen. Maybe he wanted to know what happened to the elephant. How he found the other elephants again. It was good for expanding Max’s French practice as well.

‘Preparing lunch’ meant reheating leftovers Pascale made. Like the totally competent adult he was.

When Pascale did come by, Max got on his sim. Jaxx watched most of the time. He pretended the playstation controller was his own wheel that he turned when Max did and pressed buttons more often.

Obviously it showed real maturity that Max didn’t mind the little boy using his controller.

Or it showed that Max had eight of them and knew he could easily replace it.

But it had been impressive that Max hadn’t minded letting Jaxx touch his sim. He hadn’t told Jaxx that he had already ordered a kid sized sim. That could be a surprise when it arrived.

Pascale fixed Mila’s hair that Max forgot about. 

By late afternoon, Jaxx was still in the pajamas he’d slept in, so Max encouraged him into regular clothes.

Another walk. 

Mila chose to stay with Pascale, so it was easy with just Jaxx and King.

*****Max*****

When the doorbell rang, Jaxx ran to it first. But he did look for permission before opening the door, so that was improvement. Probably Max still needed something high up he couldn’t get to. Or maybe that was a fire danger and he shouldn’t do that.

“You can open the door,” Max allowed. Mila was there by then too.

Charles took a moment to look downward and smile at who had opened the door not being at eye level.

“Up!” Mila ordered.

Charles obediently grabbed her.

Jaxx gave Charles’s leg a hug and then ran off shouting “Shoes!”

“We are having dinner first!” Max called after him. He was very excited to see the car collection. Which had more real life cars than Jaxx had toy cars. Which was an impressive thing to say.

Charles walked properly inside, closing the door behind himself and locking it. Pascale stepped forward to greet him, a hand on his shoulder, lean in for the two cheek near-kisses. Charles walked over to Max and extended his hand, which landed on Max’s shoulder. Which was a normal thing they did. Had always done. Or at least had for some number of years.

“Thank you for inviting me to dinner,” Charles said.

“Your mother made it,” Max countered.

Charles laughed like that was funny. Charles dropped his hand and looked at Mila in his arms. “Babar,” Mila declared. Apparently she had at least understood that Charles loved the show. Had loved the show. As a small child.

“Babar… l'éléphant ?” Charles asked.

“Éléphant !” Mila agreed. She knew a lot of animals, and the word was pretty much the same in English and French, and not that different in Dutch.

“J'adore Babar l'éléphant !"

Mila patted his face like she did sometimes. He didn’t seem to mind.

Jaxx came back with his slip on shoes on. And socks. The shoes were good enough for walking around the museum- if it was called museum, Max wasn’t sure.

“Good job, Jaxx, getting on your shoes and socks,” Max praised. “Are you ready for dinner?”

“Cars?” Jaxx asked Charles.

Like Charles might give a different answer than Max and say they could go right away.

“You need food first, to fuel you with energy,” Charles said. “Just like a car needs fuel- or a battery charge. Are you ready to eat your fuel?”

Jaxx nodded and ran off for the kitchen.

Max would need to use that one. Probably he could get Jaxx interested in carrots fueling eyes, and protein for muscles and complex and simple carbs for energy, and things like that.

"Did you watch the first episode of Babar?" Charles asked.

"Yeah. I don't think they understood it."

"It's okay," Charles answered.

Dinner was easy. Some kind of pasta that the kids did not need help with. Charles did a lot of the talking to the kids. He spoke mostly in English, but with some French words that the kids repeated. It was cute.

Charles drove them to the Prince’s car collection.

Of course, everything in Monaco was very walkable, but that would add extra time, and get the kids tired, or they’d have to carry the kids the whole way. Max didn’t have a toddler buggy. He hadn’t noticed one at the house. But it also took up space, and maybe they didn’t need it. It would only really be a problem if both wanted to be carried and there wasn’t someone else there. Which… Max should be prepared for. But Jaxx was already so big. And a buggy took up a lot of space for something they did not really need.

They went into a private garage that was probably for royal visitors, and other important visitors like Charles. Well, Max could probably be told about it too, if he asked about loaning a car to the collection. 

Max hadn’t visited the Prince’s car collection since he was eighteen and freshly moved to Monaco.

Probably the Prince’s cars were seen by tourists mostly. Because people who lived in Monaco were very discrete usually. But a few people treated Max as part of the exhibit, complete with question and answer session, and he left.

Max liked to think he was better with dealing with it now, but he liked the idea more of the whole place to themselves. Probably a perk of loaning a car to the place.

When Charles wasn’t around, Mila mostly followed Jaxx around, but sometimes she wanted Max’s attention and to be held. She liked Pascal too. She liked watching Pascale cook and clean.

Which Pascale didn’t need to be doing, and Max had said that many times. Honestly, she didn’t need to come when he was home, but it did work well for Max to workout or use the sim some of the time when he didn’t want to be interrupted.

When Charles was around though, Mila would always choose Charles first.

Like when she decided frequently that walking wasn’t for her, she would go to him first.

She didn’t mind being handed over to Max or Pascale. But she liked Charles better than anyone else.

Max wasn’t even jealous. And Charles was good about it. Trying to strategically give her back to Max sometimes, asking to take pictures of her with Max and a car. Like he was worried she wasn’t bonding with Max enough. Max wasn’t worried about it. And Charles also made sure to engage with Jaxx. Which Jaxx didn’t have any problem with. He liked Charles. Charles was the one who took them to karting and was showing them around all the cool cars, so it would be impossible for the little boy to not like Charles. Both of them lifted Jaxx up a few times to get a higher view of the cars. But Jaxx usually preferred walking by himself.

Charles showed them some vintage road cars first. All very nice cars. Most of them had been owned by the current Prince’s father, but the current Prince had also added to the collection considerably. And, he was even more interested in Formula One than past Monaco princes.

“So the next room is my second favorite. It has many old Formula One cars, including one very special one.”

Jaxx started running probably as soon as he saw Max’s old car.

There was a disadvantage to Jaxx walking by himself.

“Don’t touch the car, Jaxx!” Max warned. In Dutch, because that was what came to him first.

No running should probably also be said, but it was too late for that, and also it would be hypocritical because Max was running after him. Embarrassing that Jaxx got such a head start. Jaxx did stop before Max reached him. He was an obedient boy. Maybe too obedient for a three year old. Max couldn’t remember being that age. Maybe he was still on best behavior for company mode. He needed to know that Max was everyday, not special. That nothing actually bad would happen if he disobeyed. Though the Prince’s cars were very special, and listening was good. Maybe Max was overthinking it. It wasn’t like he actually wanted Jaxx to be disobedient.

“We can’t touch it because it does not belong to us. The Prince bought the car from Red Bull. We can look, but not touch, just like all the other cars. But… Charles has two cars here. Two of his Formula One cars. A red Ferrari. And a Sauber. He owns them, and Charles will let you touch his cars, and he will even let you sit in them if you want. Do you understand?”

Jaxx nodded. “Ja.”

He walked over to Charles, who was just walking up with Mila in his arms.

“Waar is je auto?”

Jaxx probably didn’t understand that Charles didn’t understand Dutch- though Charles might catch that. Max should have expected it from speaking Dutch to Jaxx first.

Charles knelt in front of him. “Can you say it again?” Charles asked.

“Waar is je auto?”

“My autos are that way. Do you want to come back to see the Red Bull after? The Red Bull is very cool, even though we can’t touch it. Does that sound okay?”

“Okay,” Jaxx agreed. Holding his arms out to Charles. Who was already crouching and holding Mila. Charles didn’t hesitate to scoop Jaxx up too. Max was content to follow. He’d seen all his Red Bulls a lot. It was weird for it not to be his, but it was never really his. He’d never gotten to touch a Ferrari F1 car. Or a Sauber, but of course he would be more excited for the Ferrari.

The 2019 Ferrari car was a lovely car, despite its controversy. Which Max would wisely not mention. It was not Charles’s fault. Ferrari’s 2020 season wasn’t Charles’s fault either.

Charles passed Mila to Max before helping Jaxx into the Ferrari. Charles showed him that he could put his hands on the wheel and everything. There probably wouldn’t be an engine or battery attached when it was sitting there. None of the buttons would work. And Charles would know what he was doing.

Charles stepped back and took his phone out.

“I won’t post these, and I promise they won’t get to the internet, okay?”

“It’s fine. Your maman will want to see. Take some on my phone too,” Max said instead, fishing out his own phone as Charles took several pictures. Probably they would be better than ones Max would take. And Max wanted to just watch. But he’d appreciate pictures later. Charles ran around the car getting different angles.

“Jaxx? Do you want to make the car noise for a video?” Charles asked.

Jaxx launched into a decent imitation of a modern Formula One car’s noise- as it sounded on the broadcast, at least.

It was cute.

Charles took pictures and video on Max’s phone too.

They didn’t rush Jaxx, who was clearly having a very good time. He got brave enough to press buttons, which indeed did not do anything.

“I think Jaye would like this,” Charles said. “If she visits sometime. I don’t know if she has gotten to sit in your Red Bull? Or Victoria or your mother? Or someone else? Luka seems to like cars as much as Jaxx.”

“You would parade a line of Verstappens through to sit in your Ferrari?”

“Of course. Why not? It is part of the joy of owning it. I have taken lots of friends here, and their kids, and my little cousins.”

“You have friends with kids?”

“I was thinking of Mélanie Bianchi’s son. But soon one of my best friends from school will have a baby. Well, his fiance will have the baby. The first of our little group. Maybe she would like to come here when she is older. Would Mila like to sit in the car?”

Jaxx had not asked to get up, but he was looking at them instead of actively playing with the car.

Mila probably would not care either way about sitting in the car, but it would make good pictures that she might enjoy later.

“Jaxx, it is time to let Mila have a turn. Do you want to sit in the other car?" Max asked. "If that is okay?" he asked Charles very late.

"Of course. We can get both in a picture together. It will be very cute."

The Sauber was just behind the Ferrari, so they would fit in one picture.

Much too close for a 2018 Sauber to be to a 2019 Ferrari if they were actually on track together.

Still, it would be cute pictures of them both.

Mila stayed in the car much less time than Jaxx did. She liked the yellow button in the middle with the Ferrari horse on it. She pressed that one a lot. She raised her arms when she was ready to get out. Charles grabbed her.

“Max, do you want a turn?” Charles asked.

“Fine.” Max said it like he was giving in. Like he wasn’t very excited to do it.

It was definitely the original seat still in the car.

Formed to perfectly fit Charles in 2019.

Max could fit in it, but only barely. He definitely had more padding around his hips than Charles did, but he could wedge in there.

“I do not think Victoria would fit,” Max commented.

“Max, do not tell her that.”

“I can barely fit. It is normal for women to have wider hips, and she has had two babies. Lio not so long ago. She could fit with a wider seat, of course. Just not one molded to your ass. She has already sat in several of my cars when she was younger.”

“I can get a basic seat that more people could sit in. I should have done this before.”

“That sounds very expensive. And it is your car. And you would have to get rid of the one perfect for you, or store it somewhere.”

“Maybe I can make it part of my sim rig. I’ll look into it.”

It was an interesting idea. Probably not practical at all.

“You cannot show these pictures to anyone,” Max said instead. Because of course Charles was taking them.

“I won’t,” Charles promised.

“You can show a few people on your phone, but no forwarding them.”

“Maman will love it.”

In the short ride back to Max’s apartment, Max texted some pictures of Jaxx and Mila to a few people. Victoria and a few friends he had not been doing a good job contacting. But at least this would show what he was up to. Most people got only pictures from the day karting, but some got pictures both from karting and from sitting in Charles’s F1 cars. All of them got a text to not post them anywhere or send them to anyone. 

If it did get online, Max knew what it would say. Other than freaking out over the Ferrari. They would say Max was training up the next Verstappen World Champion. Maybe they would even say they hoped he was nicer than his dad. There was always a joke about the gas station.

Max was pretty sure the people he texted wouldn’t even say anything about training. Maybe Stan would tease him a little again for going karting when Charles invited him, but not when Stan did. But he wouldn’t be upset about it.

Vicky: Cute pictures.

Max smiled at the text.

Another high excitement day had the kids easy to put to bed. They were on the early to bed early to rise schedule already. The exact opposite of Max’s preference, but he was also good at adapting. He had to be in F1.

“I have to fly to Sao Paulo tomorrow. Mid-morning. Are you?” Charles asked after Max closed the door to the kids’ room.

“Later in the day,” Max answered. “And I’m skipping media Thursday.”

“Good. I’m glad you can do that.”

“I hope you don’t get questions about me.”

“I will let them know that I am very disappointed they would ask a private question about someone else.”

No one would want to disappoint Charles Leclerc.

“Are you packed already?” Max asked.

“Yes.” Packing was easy after doing it for… most of their lives, really. Regularly at least by the time international karting started- which was 2010 for both of them. But even before then, Max had been used to it, and probably Charles had been too. His national level karting- which was in France for Charles- would often not have been close enough to go home at night. Though maybe Charles’s parents still packed everything for him at that age.

“Do you want to spend the night? To say goodbye to the kids in the morning?” Max offered.

“I- do want to. It’s not too much?” Charles asked.

That was a complicated answer to Max’s simple question. Or maybe not that simple.

“It’s fine,” Max said anyway. Maybe the kids were abnormally attached. But Pascale wasn’t going anywhere. Raymond was finally paying her. With substantial back pay. So Charles probably wasn’t going anywhere either. Max didn’t think he would anyway. It wasn’t like they would have some sort of breakup. Charles managed to still be friends with both Pierre and Ocon, which- even if he was much closer to Pierre- being friendly with both of them at all should be impossible.

Even if the kids saw him less after Charles decided they were more stable or whatever, he would be around. “If you can’t stay, you should tell them goodbye now,” Max decided.

“That would very much keep them awake when they are maybe even asleep already. I will see them in the morning,” Charles decided.

Of course, Charles could just leave and come by in the morning. Or they could meet up together somewhere in the morning, and Charles could say goodbye then.

But it was easier staying the night.

Chapter Text

*****Charles*****

Of course Charles flew to Sao Paulo separately from Max. Because Max had his private jet, and Charles flew VistaJet. Lots of F1 drivers had been on Max’s plane before, but Charles hadn’t- until coming home from the funeral.

They had shared some plane rides before Max got his jet, but not any after then that Charles could think of. Max probably always took his plane- or, if he took another plane, Charles didn’t know about it. And Charles was usually in VistaJet, or something else that someone from Ferrari told him was the plan that week, and Charles just had to show up. 

Also, Max, like most people, could sleep on the plane. Charles could not really, especially when he needed best race preparation, so he asked for all flights for during the day, and would get there a little early to try to adapt his sleep schedule. Or not adapt all the way if it was a night race anyway. As long as he could be awake the hours he was supposed to be awake. He just listened to Andrea for when to sleep and when to eat. He wasn’t completely sure what times other people slept, so that just made what he was doing more irresponsible.

Charles had asked Daniel if he knew where Max’s room was. Which was a crazy thing to do, and was probably just going to cause problems for both him and Max. Charles should have just asked Max. It would be much less weird than just showing up.

And they had been texting frequently enough that Max would not have thought it was weird. Well, he would not have thought it was as weird as Daniel definitely did.

Charles knew that he and Max saw each other a weird amount lately. Charles had seen Max every day since the car accident that Charles hadn’t been in Mexico. Not all of every day. And he’d only spent two nights there in Monaco. So that was three nights at his own apartment. And they’d been apart last night, when Charles had been sleeping in Brazil, while Max was probably sleeping over the Atlantic Ocean. So he hadn’t seen Max since yesterday morning. Technically it was already tomorrow in Monaco, so he technically already did not see Max all of today. All of Monaco’s yesterday. Even though it was still today in Sao Paulo. Charles had had a long day of too much media and meetings, and a track walk.

Charles could have asked Pierre where Max’s room was, but he knew that Red Bull and Alpha Tauri often did not stay at the same hotel.

And he did not want to ask Pierre and then face the man later. Not that Daniel would be better, but he would be much easier to avoid. And Charles knew him better than Lando, who was the other driver who Charles thought had a chance of knowing Max’s room. Daniel seemed slightly less likely to torment Charles. 

Daniel had been Jules’s friend. Maybe Charles still thought of him like that. Daniel was safe. Even if that didn’t really make sense.

The backpack was heavy on Charles’s back, even though it shouldn’t be. It just had clothes and his laptop, mostly.

It had everything he needed for the night and the next morning, which was not that much stuff, because most things were left in the Ferrari motorhome.

There was some chance Max was asleep. Or more chance that he just wasn’t in his room. Or that Daniel got the wrong room.

“Charles?” Max asked.

“Can I come in?” Charles asked. “Are you on a game?”

Max stepped back and let him in. He closed and locked the door behind them. 

“I was expecting Daniel. He asked me where my room was and then did not respond after I told him and asked why.”

“Daniel makes it through the do not disturb,” Charles observed.

That was the reasonable reason to not ask Max. Thinking Max wouldn’t get the message.

“I added some more people to it. Red Bull people, Team Redline, Lando and Daniel now make it through if I am not trying to sleep,” Max said.

“Not me?” It was a rude thing to ask. “Sorry-“

“You already made it through. Otherwise I would have been very bad at texting you.”

Oh. 

That was nice.

Max did almost always respond quickly.

And it made Charles feel even more stupid for not just asking Max where he was. Like an adult. Not just someone who showed up uninvited. Like a crazy person.

“I- asked Daniel if he knew where you were staying. Since you flew here together. I guess he just asked you. Sorry.” And Daniel didn’t provide any extra explanation to either of them. But he’d want an explanation later.

It was very weird that Charles had done any of that. Who just showed up at someone’s hotel room? Why didn’t he just text Max?

Or stay in his own hotel room and just see Max later.

“Okay,” Max said.

Max had been the one to let him in.

Max didn’t ask Charles how he knew where Max was.

“I thought… without the kids… you might be lonely. I just wanted to see that you were okay.”

“Did you bring things to sleep here?” Max asked, motioning to Charles’s backpack.

Jumping right to it was just like Max.

“Yes. But I don’t have to sleep here. My hotel is right across the street. I just thought… you might like company.”

Max didn’t respond for a moment.

“In the morning when I call the kids, they will like to see you.”

The kids who were with Charles’s mother.

And they would see Charles in the Sao Paulo morning in Max’s hotel room. 

Much more relevantly, his mother would see them. Without kids there to be the reason he was there. 

That would not help Charles’s believability when he insisted that he and Max were not dating- which Charles’s mother and brothers, and all the Bianchis, and Pierre, and some of his childhood friends all thought. 

And he was doing it anyway. 

Because of course Charles was saying yes. 

He brought a backpack full of clothes for that exact reason, and he wanted to stay there, and he wanted to talk to the kids in the morning. He… wanted for it to just be normal that Charles was there with Max, and for them to be calling Charles’s mother and Max’s little brother and sister who were now his kids. 

It was selfish for that to make him happy. Because, of course there was so much trauma that happened to bring them to Max. Losing both parents so young. It was probably not healthy how easily they bonded with Charles and his mother.

But not being there sounded worse.

And that didn’t mean they were dating. They weren’t dating. Nothing romantic happening. No kissing, no sex. Not even cuddling.

Which was fine. Really. He was just trying to be there for Max and the kids. He would back off. Slowly. When they were ready. But he wouldn’t have to completely disappear. Maman would be around. He could be around sometimes, if Max kept being okay with it. Like Philippe. Like Jules would have been. If Max wanted that.

“I would love that. Thank you,” Charles agreed.

“Do you want to play FIFA?” Max asked.

“I suppose you should get to win at something this weekend. Because of course you won’t be winning the race.”

Max won at FIFA. Multiple times, and by quite a lot.

Charles would blame it on not being able to focus, but he knew he just was not good. But, also he could not focus.

Thinking of the other reason he had come to Max’s room. 

“Media day made me think… about coming out. Publicly. Or- it was not just media day. I have been thinking about it for a while.” More since the funeral, Charles didn’t say. Because of what Max said about the best part of his dad being that he didn’t hide what he thought or apologize for it. It was an admirable quality. When it didn’t come off as bragging about leaving his son at a gas station. Or at the track. And then when Max got a ride with a stranger back to the hotel, Jos drove him back so Max could walk. Or stabbing an engineer with a fork. Or any of the many other stories. But the actions were the problem, of course, not the being honest about it. ”What do you think?” Charles asked. They were playing their fourth match. Game. Whatever a video game football match should be called.

What he was least looking forward to was the extra scrutinization. Whenever he appeared anywhere with a woman, there was some picture and speculation that they were dating. Or worse, speculation that they were cheating on whoever he was dating- whether he was even dating whoever it was or not. Charles and Charlotte had been friends for ten years, and still people thought they were dating whenever they were seen together. Because it was not a good news story that they were friends, and Charles was genuinely interested in her architectural studies.

Charles didn’t look forward to speculation with every man he spent time with too. 

Like Pierre, or Andrea, or Joris, or Daniel.

Or Max.

Charles knew the talk would be mostly about Max.

Charles had been trying very hard not to pay attention to what people on the internet thought of them. Monaco did not really have paparazzi, but every person had a high resolution camera in their pocket or purse all the time. People had seen them together. There were many pictures of them from karting. And Charles had heard that Max mentioned Charles and his mother on his stream.

If almost everyone who knew Charles liked men thought he was dating Max, this would just add a lot of people who did not know either of them who would also think they were dating. Which they weren’t. Since Charles was attracted to men and women, was he just not supposed to have male or female friends? That would be ridiculous and frustrating. 

Was Max quiet for too long?

Had he been too focused on the game to notice Charles talking? Charles was not even remotely playing the game anymore.

“Max?” Charles asked.

“Did someone ask if we were dating or some shit like that?” Max asked.

Oh.

Had Max seen something online? Had someone asked Max?

“No. None of the reporters asked anything like that.”

People in Charles’s life who knew he liked men were definitely asking. Or saying things like ‘If you want to talk me about dating Max, you know I can keep a secret’. But no one in the media was directly asking. Nothing more than a ‘You’ve been seen with Max a lot these last weeks…’ which was much easier to ignore or redirect.

Charles coming out would affect Max’s life too, just because they were friends.

Maybe it was selfish to do that when Max had already been through too much.

Or maybe it was selfish not to come out, when he could… be a role model, or something, to people. Not that he thought he was worth being a role model. All he was really good at was driving cars… but he was visible. Someone like him coming out would have meant a lot to teenage Charles. And teenage Anthoine. And a lot of other people out there, young people and older. Drivers, and fans, and people who had never watched a race before even. 

“How soon is soon?” Max asked. “There’s only another week left in the season after this one. If I were you and I wanted to come out, I would wait until the offseason. Let people forget about it while you don’t have a reporter in your face so many times a week. But… maybe you want to talk to the reporters.”

“I was thinking… after the race this week but before next week,” Charles outlined.

Maybe the fact that he didn’t want to shout it from the rooftops at that very moment meant that he wasn’t ready.

“Is it more important than P2 in the Championship?” Max asked. “Even if they let you race in Abu Dhabi, it will be another distraction.”

Most people wouldn’t ask that. Charles appreciated it.

“I think… it would be worth it.”

Ferrari being P2 in the WDC was more of a concern, because it affected more people. But they should be fine. They would be fine. 

“Seb will be proud of you,” Max said. Which was a very nice thing to say. “And if Ferrari is angry, I don’t think Red Bull would care.”

Max had mentioned that before- that Charles could drive for Red Bull if he wanted. Technically, he wasn’t sure if that should be flattering or not. Charles knew that Max had said the exact opposite before- that Charles didn’t make sense because two drivers good enough to be number one drivers didn’t make sense on the same team. Of course, other times Max said he didn’t care who sat next to him. He was not the most consistent with reporters. But this definitely didn’t feel like an insult.

“I don’t think Ferrari will fire me over it. They would want me to tell them first. And… they might tell me not to talk about it. But I think it is illegal to fire someone in Italy for this. And they would look pretty stupid for the We Race as One.”

“Italy doesn’t allow gay people to get married,” Max said. “Neither does Monaco. Sorry, you- probably knew that. I just saw it online.”

“I know. It is a problem. But I don’t think they can fire me for this.”

“Probably not. And any team would be stupid not to hire you, even if they had to fire another driver to pick you up. Even if you weren’t allowed to race at a few tracks on the calendar- but I don’t think that would happen. If the drivers can protest for Russia, I think we could for this. If… you decide to say something before the next race.”

“Thank you. I appreciate you saying that. But I also wanted to ask you because… I told you that no one in the media asked me if we were dating. And this is the truth. But… if they know I like men… probably they will ask me. And I will, of course, say no, but probably they will ask you also. Probably there will be a lot of people on the internet who will think you are dating a man.”

“I don’t give a fuck what idiots on the internet think.”

Right. Charles appreciated Max’s bluntness. It wasn’t him being harsh, it was just him being honest.

“Good,” Charles said.

“You’ve gotten worse at FIFA each match. Are you ready to go to bed?” Max asked.

“Yeah, sounds good. Are we… okay?”

“What? Of course we are okay. Are you okay?” Max asked.

“Just nervous. About coming out, when I should be focused on quali.”

Max shrugged, “You will still like men in a week if you want to wait for winter. Or longer. Even if a few people found out… People around the paddock are good at keeping secrets. There was a driver who liked men back when my dad was racing. At least one that my dad knew. And I don’t think my dad was the most social person to confess secrets to. But he did not tell anyone, and neither did anyone else, I guess, because most people don’t know.”

“I didn’t know that,” Charles said. He would not try to guess who, or ask if Max knew who it was. Statistically, there had to be some. Charles could google, so he knew of Mike Beuttler, who drove for a few years in the seventies. He was not officially out, but apparently everyone knew. He had a supposed girlfriend he brought to every race, moved to California, and died of AIDS in the eighties. Aged forty-eight. So he did not get much of a happily ever after. 

Because Charles was obsessed, he knew also that apparently Mário de Araújo Cabral, who took part in four F1 races in the fifties and sixties, came out as bisexual when he was seventy-five. Of course Charles understood waiting for anyone, even someone not famous. Especially back then. But Charles didn’t want to be so old. 

And he found out that Lela Lombardi was a lesbian. Charles wasn’t sure if she was out when she was racing, but someone he read about said she would be seen taking home similar numbers of women as James Hunt, so good for her. Until she died at age fifty. Because life wasn’t fair. 

But Charles knew that life was not fair already. Papa was fifty-four. Jules was twenty-five. Anthoine was twenty-two. Max’s dad had been fifty. Charles wasn’t sure what age made death less sad. It was some comfort that Jules and Anthoine were doing what they loved. That didn’t make sense to some people. People who asked how could Charles still race.

“Make sure you do focus on quali,” Max warned. “I need someone to keep the race interesting.”

“Thank you, Max.”

*****Charles*****

Quali was rough.

Calling the kids in the morning was definitely the best part of the day. Max calling Charles’s mother, really. She had smiled at them and not said anything about Charles being there.

The kids did not think anything was strange, of course.

They both said good luck, even little Mila.

Practice had been good too. It didn’t go badly until qualifying.

Starting on inters was supposed to be for scouting, and playing it safe. Thinking there would still be time for dry tires.

Except by then the track was much wetter. And then there was the red flag.

No time set in Q3 for him.

And only for him. 

And he would be starting the sprint behind Perez, which was always tricky to be behind a fast car.

Which was maybe karma, because Perez had been stuck behind Charles’s slow car in quali.

But that was not supposed to matter, because there was supposed to be time.

So he could blame George for causing the red flag- though Charles was not going to have a good time before the red flag anyway. Or Charles could blame the people who put him on Inters in the first place- that was who he really wanted to blame. Or he could accept it was just one of those things.

Kevin got a pole from it, so that was the only nice thing.

Max would be starting in second.

Good for him.

“That quali was bullshit. If they’d have gone with Q2 results, you would have started second,” Max said. Probably to commiserate.

There was not really that much to debrief from a session like that. 

“Third. Behind you and Carlos. But that is not what would ever happen. I am happy for Kevin.”

“Ferrari shouldn’t have put you out on inters when it was obvious that early in the session would be important. Even the ones who waited a bit in the garage were worse off, but not as bad as going out on inters.”

“I did not object to the tire choice. Someone predicted the weather wrong, and we got unlucky it went that bad. It’s fine. It is what it is.”

“They should have known during the out lap and at least pitted you then.”

“I think it was too late by then. Maybe I would at least get a lap better than someone who left the track or something is what someone said in debrief. It was bad. I am not happy, but being angry with anyone in my team is not going to help. I just have to get past Checo quickly and make up places in the sprint.”

Really, him gaining on Checo was his only battle for the whole season. He cared about the sprint, and about the last two races, of course, but it was ultimately down to him and Checo for the year. At least Checo wasn’t starting up closer to Max.

“You will,” Max promised. It was nice. “How did your car feel around corner ten on the inters?” Max asked.

Charles smiled. It wasn’t even Max asking for very useful information. Not useful for anyone else, at least. He just wanted to know. And Charles didn’t mind telling him. He’d be more eager if he hadn’t had such a shit session, but it was still okay. They were good at this.

Charles needed to go to his own hotel room where most of his luggage was. Because he couldn’t wear his quali red pants when it wasn’t quali tomorrow. Even though it was Saturday, so maybe he should.

He was not really that superstitious, it was just… a comfortable pattern.

If he was superstitious, he would say that quali went badly because it should be on a Saturday, not Friday, and he needed his quali red pants on a Saturday. But that was silly. Sprints had been good to him this year. Even if they were not last year. And, even if he was still always doing badly in sprints, that would not be because of some luck or superstition. It would be probably his fault, or maybe someone else’s fault, depending on the race, but it was not luck. He was not cursed. Even at Monaco. He was not. He was not.

Charles texted Max that he could come over if Max wanted company. He knew it wasn’t likely that Max would ask for it, but he also didn’t want to put himself somewhere he wasn’t invited. 

Max had seemed fine the night before. Really, Charles had just been extra bother to him. Needing help from him, not really helping Max at all. Giving Max another thing to worry about, which he did not need.

And Max always slept easily. He would be okay. And he knew he could text Charles. 

Just in case, Charles made sure Max made it through his do not disturb. It would help Charles sleep. 

*****Charles*****

Like Max said, Charles did get past Checo quickly, and make his way up, all the way to fifth place in the short race. Charles was happy enough with it. He was surprised by Max being in fourth. Apparently he picked up some debris and then was involved in an incident. With Carlos.

They’d be starting the Grand Prix next to each other after all, just in fourth and fifth. Technically not next to each other with Max technically a row ahead. Carlos was starting on the front row.

It would be good points for Ferrari, eleven points from the sprint. Even though Mercedes got fourteen and a sprint win. It wasn’t that much ground lost, and another scoring opportunity was past with Ferrari still having a significant lead. And it was good for George, his first win in Formula One. Even if it was just a sprint. And it meant he was starting first for the Grand Prix. Technically, it was his best chance ever to win. Except perhaps Sakhir 2020, if that had not gone to shit for him.

Still, Charles still sort of expected it to be another Max win..

Charles slept in his own hotel room again.

He and Max spoke only briefly after the sprint. They were busy, both teams preparing for the race. Probably the teams would not like it if they spoke in too much detail about things they were going to race again in the same cars, same track, maybe the same condition just tomorrow. They still spoke about it a little.

*****Charles*****

Max did not win the race.

Max was not even on the podium.

Charles stood on the podium with the two Mercedes drivers. It was not too difficult to be happy for George for his first F1 Grand Prix win. A magical weekend for him. Of course, Charles always wanted to win, and nothing would stop that. But he could be happy for the other driver. Stuck in the Williams for so long, finally stepping up to the Mercedes when it was only okay and apparently hell on the drivers’ backs. More so than even the rest of them had had with the porpoising. Charles was okay with the bouncing. Anything that was fast. It didn’t hurt him too badly.

Charles hoped Max was feeling okay.

Which sounded ridiculous to worry about a race result of someone else- who was already the world champion. But it wasn’t really about the race result.

Charles wished they were flying home together.

Charles wondered if he could grab Pierre before everyone left. Charles was flying out as soon as possible.

*****Max*****

Somehow, someone got a microphone in front of Max after the race.

No one told Max if he had to do post-race interviews or not. He was told if he was top three, they would appreciate if he could answer the few questions on parc ferme, but he could get out of the press conference. But Max didn’t hear anything about normal post-race interviews, and he hadn’t asked.

He had intended to be top three. He had intended to win, not place sixth.

“Did you not let your teammate past you to help Charles Leclerc in his battle for second in the WDC standings?”

Oh.

People would think that.

“I was thinking of how my father would always say that if I give a position up to a teammate, he will kick me in the balls. Probably lots of people heard him say this. He said it many times. And he did not act differently in public and private. And now he’s dead. I am not sure if I have to talk to you people this week. I did not drive badly because I am in mourning. A lot of things happened, and the car is not that suited to this track. I could blame things that happened in the sprint, but right now I don’t care. I just want to leave. Do you have enough quotes?”

His interview wouldn’t be on any coverage the kids would see. Probably it wasn’t anything they hadn’t heard anyway.

Max would get to see them tomorrow. He couldn’t wait to get on the flight. Except he probably needed to go to all the engineering meetings this week. They were more important than media. Even with a new car soon, it was all an evolution, and the engineers needed to understand what was wrong, as much as Max and Checo could tell them.

*****Max*****

Max flew back to Monaco as soon as he could after the race. It was the advantage of setting his own schedule. And he had not promised any rides back. It was a waste of fuel going alone, he knew, and bad for the environment, but he did not care. It would be peaceful just to sleep. There was time to go back to Monaco, and it made sense. And then he would take a lot of people in his plane, and he’d be there for the kids, and it would be familiar.

His mother, Victoria, Jaye, and her mother all decided they wanted to come for the last race of the season, so Max would fly with them. And Pascale. And Max was not sure if Lorenzo would also fly with them or with Charles.

Charles said he was flying back to Monaco first too, and he’d have a much harder time flying right away. And he’d probably be kept late because of his podium.

The timing worked well for Max. Sleep on the plane, which feels like going to bed early in Sao Paulo time, but it’s fine. Wake up and it’s morning in Europe after a full night of sleep.

Max hoped Charles managed alright.

Max would have given Charles a ride if he wanted one. If Ferrari or VistaJet didn’t organize all his flights.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

“Have you seen the video?” Charles asked when Max opened the door. 

Charles hadn’t texted before coming over. 

Like in Sao Paulo.

Unless he’d texted his mother and she hadn’t said anything to Max.

They’d been having a quiet day. The kids had been happy to see Max back home- if they thought of Monaco as home yet. They’d been happy to see him. But they hadn’t been upset when he was gone. They were used to different people taking care of them. Their father had often been with Max. Max didn’t know if Sandy had had help at home or not, or left them with other people sometimes. He didn’t even know who would know that now.

Max let Charles in and shut and locked the door behind him.

Of course the security guard- all of the security guards- knew to let Charles up.

Max wasn’t sure when that happened. Had Max told them that was okay, or did they just know? Max couldn’t remember. He remembered telling them Lorenzo and Arthur could be let in, when Max was still in Belgium.

Of course, everyone else was quickly by the door as well. Pascale hadn’t gone home for the day yet, so she greeted her son. The cheek almost kisses.

Mila demanded to be picked up, and she kissed Charles’s cheek. She didn’t understand about personal boundaries, so she actually kissed it. Charles obviously didn’t mind.

Not to be left out, Jaxx was there too. He held his hand out for a handshake- like a grown little man. Charles smiled and shook it.

“I don’t think I have seen whatever video you are talking about,” Max answered.

“Time for walk,” Pascale announced. Which meant King got more excited than he already was from seeing Charles. King had learned the English word at some point. Had he known it before?

“Maman already knows about the video,” Charles explained. Which wasn’t really an explanation.

Jaxx brought King’s leash.

Charles spoke to his mother in French. Asking if she could handle the kids by herself, Max was sure. Context helped.

Pascale said back that they were easier than Charles and Arthur.

Pascale left with King looped around and tied to her wrist, and a hand holding each of Jaxx and Mila. The leash was secure to her arm, and King did not pull very hard, so he definitely could not pull Pascale off balance.

Max wondered if they should get the child leashes. They had backpack harness ones. It didn’t look too bad.

“What is in the video?” Max asked as soon as the door shut behind the three of them and the dog. The cats came closer for their own greeting. Sassy even let Charles touch her this time.

“Can we sit down?” Charles asked.

It was weird to ask when Charles had sat in Max’s place a lot of times. What was this video?

Max followed Charles to the couch anyway.

“I posted the video on youtube. Of me coming out. I didn’t know if you heard,” Charles said. Sassy jumped on the couch, on the other side of Charles. Jimmy came to the floor near Max. Just out of reach. He played that game sometimes.

Oh.

Max didn’t think Charles would actually do it. Not so soon. Max didn’t really understand wanting to come out. Not when Charles liked women. Not at this point in his career, especially. But he had done it already, apparently.

“I can watch it now if you want,” Max offered.

Max pulled out his phone. He had a few notifications, but none that he had to pay attention to.

Probably the video Lando had sent him that Max hadn’t bothered to look at.

There were three new videos on Charles’s youtube, labeled by language. It was like Seb’s retirement video. English, French, and Italian. Max clicked on the English one.

Max had seen some of Charles’s youtube videos. Most of them were following him around a race weekend. Probably Juris did it. For this one, Charles was just sitting on a couch. In regular clothes, no red in sight. He looked tired. Charles looked tired now. Probably he had not slept much if any on the plane, and probably had worked on this and not slept all day.

“I wanted to tell you a story. That I will start it with my good friend Pierre Gasly. We met when I was six, and became friends. I… don’t know how old I was when I told him… about a crush I had on an older boy. On Jules. Jules knew, and was very kind, and- obviously he had no interest ever, even when I got older, but he cared for me. Started calling himself my older brother, then godfather to… define the relationship. I think that is the words. And he became my brother, my godfather, and I grew to love him like that. But, from the time I was very young, I thought he was very cool and very pretty. And Pierre listened. We talked about girls too, who we both liked. Girls we met, and celebrities. And he listened when I talked about boys. 

“When we were twelve- when I was twelve. It was so important in those days that Pierre was a little older. Pierre found out that he had another friend who liked boys like I did. Who liked boys and racing. So he told me. That was… that was new. We became good friends, Anthoine and I. Anthoine Hubert.”

Charles paused, to give people time to think of that. Maybe to remember where they knew that name. Maybe some people who would watch this… many people wouldn’t know the name.

“I talked to Anthoine’s parents before making this video, of course. And Jules’s family, which- with Jules, it is basically the same family as my family. I could have left Anthoine out, but… he was an important person to me, and they were supportive of me telling our story. Anthoine always planned to tell everyone one day. But he did not get to.”

“We knew each other from karting, of course. Since we were little kids racing in France. Just like I met Pierre. But we became real friends since we were twelve and thirteen. He was my first kiss, and I was his. We… we weren’t ever dating, but we were close. Friends. Close friends. It was good to feel not alone. I know I am not really alone. I have family and friends, and my team and other drivers. I wanted to say it last year. When Seb wore his rainbow shirt, I almost told him. When Lewis was wearing his rainbow helmet. I liked that so much too. I felt… not alone. But Anthoine was very special… to know we weren’t alone in liking men and racing.”

Charles took two deep breaths.

Max was pretty sure no one edited this at all. Which made sense when it was made today and up already.

That was a weird thing to focus on.

Charles never hesitated to hand his heart to the world.

“Our families and closest friends knew we were friends, knew we both liked men, and… I think most of them assumed we were dating. Even though we were not. People always like to do that, I think. And I- understand that, I do. I have… wanted to see things that weren’t there in other people. Celebrities to be like me. We did not say anything publicly because… we wanted to race. We did not want a team not taking us because of this. And, even now… Formula One races in some countries where it is still illegal for men to be with men. I… am not certain that I will be welcome at the race I have plans to fly to in two days… because, in that country, homosexuality is punished by being in prison. I am not sure that I will be allowed into the country. I- will let you know when I find out, I guess,” Charles laughed.

Somehow, he could laugh.

“When Anthoine died… I did not know what to say. I said he was my friend, but people did not know how close we were. We did not want people to know the way we were similar. But that week… I knew I would win. I could not say how, but I knew. And I dedicated it to him, but I still did not say who he was to me. I wish, now, that I had said it then. But I thought maybe… that… the message should be about racing. Because Anthoine loved to race so much. And I do. And… all of us do, I think. It was the thing that made us different, the thing more important than who we have kissed. But he was a person, and that was an even greater loss to the world than him as a racer. I am so sorry more of you did not get to know him. Because… because- I read these words somewhere, so they are not mine- but the joy of knowing him was greater than the pain of losing him. He was a very good friend, and I miss him. So, I wanted to do this for both of us.”

“Thank you for listening to me. If I am allowed to race, I will see you soon. I hope that I am. But… even if they allow me to race, it does not mean that they have decided to treat people like me- but who are not race car drivers- any better. I needed to say that too. I did not ask Ferrari what I could say, so it’s just from me. That is all. Thank you.”

*****Max*****

There was no end screen. No link to another video. No end music. It just ended.

Max stared at the small screen.

“I thought for a long time about mentioning how there is still so much for rights to improve in Monaco and Italy, but I did not want to in the first announcement, I did not want to insult more people. I want them on my side first. Maybe it is the cowardly way.”

“No,” Max managed. Nothing about doing that was cowardly.

“When I asked Pierre if it was okay to talk about him and Anthoine, he said he wanted Anthoine to be remembered. But Anthoine would not want me to miss a race, so he hoped I didn’t have to. I have not heard anything from Ferrari after posting. I told them Saturday that I would post something like this after the weekend. I said I was not asking their permission, but I wanted them to know.”

“That was… brave,” Max managed.

“Thank you. I- would not say this in the video, but I was inspired… by what you said at the funeral. That your favorite quality in your father was him not apologizing for who he was.”

“Fuck!” Max let out without thinking. “No, this- this doesn’t count! This is- this could actually fucking ruin your career, and you just- why the fuck would you do that? Because of something I said? If you like women, why wouldn’t you just- just stay with women? Or- or fuck whoever you want, but- but not tell anyone? You don’t have to tell anyone about things that are none of their business! Especially you do not have to tell the whole world!”

“Max, are… you okay?”

“No! You- you say I inspire you, and this- that is not what I meant! I- fuck! This is my fault.”

“Max, no, I am happy to not have to hide. It is better this way.”

Maybe it would be.

Max pulled his phone from his pocket.

He did not have a picture he wanted to post, so Twitter would be better than Instagram, probably.

“Max?” Charles asked.

Max was doing this terribly. Everything was his fault. He was just going to upset Charles more, and everything bad that might happen to Charles because of this was already Max’s fault. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Charles more.

“I- I- have not- been with a man. But I have thought of it,” Max admitted. “But women- are easy. I mean- not the word like meaning- fuck. They like me back, and it would not fuck with my career, so why not? I- I had to be World Champion at least. And then I was dating Kelly, and who else I thought was attractive was not important. And then she broke up with me. And then not so long after, I stopped even thinking of her at all, because my father died, and- And I am broken, and I have not even jerked off since they died, and I have barely even thought about it, and maybe I am not anything anymore. Like I am ninety years old and just play with the grandchildren.”

Fuck.

“Max- can I hug you?”

If Max didn’t say yes, Charles wouldn’t touch him.

Maybe just thinking that made Max slow down.

Fuck.

“I don’t know why you would want to. I should have told you when you told me.”

“It does not work like that. You don’t… Max, you do not have to tell anyone anything. And you are not broken. Or- it’s okay to break down.”

“Lorenzo said that,” Max managed.

“He told me as well. Several times. And he was there to help clean up the debris, and help with repairs, even though he was hurting too. I am here now for you.”

Max wanted to be hugged.

“So I am a race car that crashed?” Max asked. “Or someone crashed into?”

Anyone would think their conversation was so fucking weird. Max’s dad and Sandy literally died in a car crash. Charles had lost people in racing crashes. But it was their world.

“Ah- sorry-”

“It is what we know. It… it helps. Maybe you are right.” Cars could be fixed. Engineers put cars back together every weekend. Except when they had to scrap a whole chassis, but even that sometimes reused some parts or materials if they could, because of cost. And the analogy did not have to be perfect. It was… calming. “Do you think your mother knows to keep the kids away for a long time? I don’t- want them to see me like this. Or maybe they should. I don’t know.”

They should know it’s okay to have all the emotions.

That it was okay to ask for help. For comfort.

Max wasn’t very good at that.

“You can… hug me if you want,” Max said.

Charles’s scooted closer on the couch, and put his arms around him. It was difficult to position.

“You do not always have to ask,” Max let out. It would make the next time easier. “You do not ever have to ask. Just… you can just do it.”

“Can I- move you?” Charles asked.

Max didn’t know what the hell that meant.

“Okay,” Max agreed anyway.

Charles shifted him not the way he would have expected. Sideways, with his back sort of to Charles. Until he pulled him closer. Leaning back, his torso across Charles’s. Maybe like he was holding a baby, except Max was the same size- actually bigger than Charles, he was pretty sure. Max’s head ended up against Charles’s shoulder and neck area. He wasn’t really in his lap, because Max’s ass was still on the couch. Probably his shoulder or elbow or something wasn’t comfortable to Charles, but he seemed happy with how he settled. Charles was giving too much effort for this to be a quick hug, so Max didn’t move.

Charles’s arms kept him in place. And moved his hands slightly back and forth on Max’s back and shoulder.

Max wasn’t crying, and he didn’t really feel like crying. But he felt… it was almost the same feeling as after a cry. Max did cry sometimes. He just… couldn’t remember when last. Maybe he cried when he was World Champion again. Even though it was not dramatic and at some point it was certain before it was really certain. He definitely cried the first time. And cried other times remembering it, watching videos. His dad kneeling in front of him, hand on Max’s neck, and on his shoulder. Max… Max couldn’t even remember exactly what his dad said then.

“Sorry I-” Max started. “Freaked out.”

“Do not say sorry for that.”

Max’s own hands were actually free. He still had his phone in his hand.

“I think I want to post something on Twitter. About me… being bisexual. Even though I have never actually… I still know.”

“You can do that. But you can think about it and also wait if you want.”

“If you get in trouble with Abu Dhabi, I should also.”

“I don’t think I will. Some other drivers have already told me they would not race if I cannot.”

Oh. That was nice of them. It was like Russia. Max had said that before. People had threatened to boycott the Russian Grand Prix before the FIA just canceled it. Max hadn’t been public, but he’d complained to Christian and Marko. Most drivers had done something like that. Probably the circuit or whatever would make a statement saying that of course everyone could race. ‘We race as one,’ after all.

“Who?”

“Well, it’s not the complete list, because I’m sure some people are talking to their team, you know? And, probably some people haven’t seen it yet, or I haven’t seen their message. But Pierre. Ah… Lewis. Lando. Seb. I suspect Lewis told Seb, since Seb isn’t much for social media. Or maybe Mick told him. Mick also said he would not race. Which… was especially sweet because maybe it is his last race in F1- and maybe Ferrari could even be convinced to put him in my seat for one try. He is technically still their junior, I think. And, it is supposed to be Seb’s last race as well. I think- he will not come back. Ah… Daniel also said he would not race if I couldn’t,” Charles said after a pause. Not saying that it was maybe Daniel’s last race. “Carlos knew before it was public as well, since I talked to Ferrari. I told him I hope he got us points if I couldn’t. So he knows I would not want him to miss the race.”

“Yeah.” Max couldn’t see Carlos missing the race. Even if Carlos was secretly completely gay himself, he would not let that stop him. Probably he was not though. He had dated the same woman for a very long time. Checo wouldn’t miss the race either, and Checo was Charles’s major competition. But this was more important to Charles than that. And, with that podium last race, if they canceled the race, Charles would be second. “I think…” Max said, fingers hovering over buttons. “I will post anyway. Sorry you will get more questions asking so many times if we are dating. Hopefully Red Bull will decide I cannot be trusted for media still after last race.”

“I- don’t know what happened after last race,” Charles said.

“Someone asked if I did not give the place back to Checo to help you with the Championship. I said my dad always said if I gave a place to a teammate, he would kick me in the balls. And now he’s dead.” Charles squeezed Max tighter. “I do think you should be second instead of Checo though. I do not even think as badly of Checo as some people, but you are of course so much better.”

“Thank you, Max,” Charles said. “And thank you for telling me.”

He didn’t say anything specific about Max’s dad, because there wasn’t really anything to say. Hugging could be enough.

“So, I’m sorry more people will ask you if we are dating,” Max said into Charles’s neck. Talking was much easier not looking at him.

“I do not mind,” Charles answered. “Of course- it is only your decision to come out. But do you want to talk to anyone else first?”

“No. My mother and Victoria know. Probably some other people suspect. I am not going to ask Red Bull’s permission.”

Max looked at his screen.

I am bisexual.

Max pressed post.

“It is done,” Max said, tossing the phone down to his lap.

Max immediately picked it back up and turned it off.

No one needed to get through that badly.

Pascale would call Charles if she needed something.

Maybe he should have just gone into his settings again.

It would be okay.

“Is it the same for you?” Max asked. “With a man or a woman?” Maybe he asked just to say something. It was a very private question that is not the kind of thing people should ask.

But Max had just told Charles that he had not jerked off in weeks, and Charles hadn’t minded. Max definitely hadn’t talked to his Red Bull therapist about that. And he did talk about other things. Mostly about trying to be a good parent. So maybe Charles would not mind Max asking a too private question. He did not mind holding Max like this.

“Honestly, I am not so experienced. I always put my career first, and also do not want someone who wants me for being an F1 driver.” Which was a crazy thing for Charles Leclerc to say, but Max understood. Probably Charles also meant that he wouldn’t want to date someone who would only date him for being so attractive he could be a model even without being an F1 driver. “But also, they have to be okay with my career. It is a hard balance. I have been on many dates, kissed many women- and two men. But I have only been in one romantic relationship, and that was with a woman- Giada, and I have only had sex with her and with Anthoine.”

Oh.

More than just first kisses then. More than just friends. Friends with benefits, or something.

It made sense, if they were keeping secret from almost everyone.

And… unless Charles got back together with Giada secretly… that would mean he had not had sex with another person in… three years? Maybe more? Max didn’t remember when Charles broke up with Giada, but he remembered she said he chose Ferrari over her. Max was pretty sure it was around when Charles joined Ferrari, which was early 2019. And Anthoine died in 2019. Three years and a few months ago. If they even did that then. Maybe their experimenting or whatever was when they were teenagers, and Giada was his most recent sex partner.

Max had had celebration sex in Japan. Which was nice of Kelly to do that before she broke up with him the next day, he supposed.

Max had definitely been with people who were probably only interested in him because he was an F1 driver. Hookups for sure, but probably most of his relationships were at least partially because of that. He could understand not wanting that.

“Probably it would be weird to ask you questions anyway. Sorry,” Max apologised.

“You told me nothing is awkward unless you let it be awkward.”

Why the hell was Charles listening so closely to what Max was saying? Max was not good at giving any kind of advice. Except with racing debriefs.

“We did not debrief after karting,” Max blurted. “I realized later, and I missed it.”

“We still can,” Charles responded smoothly to Max’s disjointed thoughts. “I know you have a good enough memory, and I think probably I could race the track blindfolded. I would not, of course. And we can go again soon, if you want, and compare.”

That would be nice.

“I had a crush on Daniel,” Max confessed.

Maybe because Charles had confessed more, so Max still had room. “It is mortifying now- you cannot tell him. I very much do not want to be with Daniel. Even if he was not straight and dating Heidi.”

“I don’t know if I had enough to be called a crush on Daniel- probably I was still crushing too much on Jules then. When I first met Daniel. He was maybe eighteen, and I was visiting Jules in Italy. But they were friends, so of course Daniel was very cool.”

“Red Bull hosted a karting event in 2011. Daniel had just started at HRT, and I made sure to talk to him because he was a Formula One driver. I was, of course, very used to talking to Formula One drivers. I think I was a overconfident shithead, but Daniel was nice about it.”

“I knew you in 2011. You had reason to be confident.”

“Have the kids been gone for too long?” Max asked.

“I can text Maman if you want, but I know she wants to give us privacy. Probably she is taking them for dessert by now. Sorry for the sugar.”

“Sugar does not actually make kids crazy, it is a myth.”

“I know,” Charles answered.

Nothing was awkward. The kids weren’t coming home soon.

“I have not even tried anal with a woman, because I did not want to seem gay. It is very stupid. Does anal feel better than in the pussy?”

“I have only actually topped in anal once, so I am not an expert. And that was with Giada. Anthoine tried twice, but we did not get very far, and did not try again after that, because he did not like it. So Anthoine and myself did something else, or I bottomed. All of it is good. As long as everyone is happy, everything is good.”

Oh.

2019 Charles had definitely been what people would call a twink. Max knew that. So pretty for a man. Some people would probably call him that still. Even though he was looking more manly now. Technically, Max knew that looks did not mean sex position.

“Sorry.”

“I do not understand why you are apologizing.”

“For… making you talk private things? Especially about him?” Surely that was something to apologize for? For asking a really invasive series of questions involving his dead friend.

“I do not mind answering questions, Max. I believe Anthoine would understand.”

“My dad knew about me, or he guessed. Told me that if I was discrete, it didn’t matter who I fucked, but to stop looking at Daniel like that. The karting day in 2011. That was all he said. I wasn’t in trouble, but he wasn’t nice like my mother was later, when I finally told her. After I was in F1… one day he told me about the F1 driver he knew who liked men. Saying that it was okay as long as no one found out. That it was good that everyone who found out kept his secret from getting too public, but that it could have been bad. And then, one random day last year, he says that maybe there would be a time to reveal I like men for benefit later in my career. The world would just keep becoming more friendly for it, and it might keep me in a seat longer, or let me come back when I retired and missed it.”

“I am sorry that happened, Max,” Charles said, rubbing a hand through Max’s hair. It wasn’t even really a bad memories of his father.

“What was it like for you? Your family finding out.”

“I don’t really remember it, like I don’t remember karting the first time so young. But the stories my father loved to tell me were of me telling people I was going to marry Jules. I did this many times to different people, for years. Enough that I do remember. I got Tom’s permission, and he would be my best man, and Lorenzo could be Jules’s. Really, I think they were more surprised when I started talking about pretty girls from school, but they were always supportive.”

“No one can take Jaxx and Mila away,” Max said. For some reason. So that Charles would know he’d thought about it, maybe. The Netherlands had allowed gay couples to adopt since 2001. They same year they allowed gay marriage. The first country in the world to do it. Belgium was the second, two years later. Max knew this because he looked it up, not because he remembered it. He had been so young. Not that it mattered to Max, because he wasn’t a couple, and if he was a couple, it would probably be with a woman. Probably. But… no one would take them away.

“Because you like men? Of course they will not,” Charles assured him. “That would be illegal, and you have good lawyers.”

Gay couples couldn’t do a lot of things in Monaco, including adopt. Which obviously wasn’t relevant to Max, because he wasn’t a Monaco citizen, and he wasn’t a couple.

Max liked the country anyway.

It had always felt like freedom to Max, even though it wasn’t completely.

Maybe the laws would change.

Maybe Charles would make them change.

“Does bottoming work on a race weekend?” Max asked. Because he didn’t have the most filter of his thoughts, and… he was comfortable.

“With a lot of patience and stretching and lube, yes, it can work going in the car with no extra uncomfort the next day, or even right after. Right after it would be more worry of leaking lube in the race suit, but not pain. If there’s not enough time to be very patient, then handjobs or blowjobs or something else is better. And, of course you know this, but if a guy is not very patient, or okay to do something else, then he is not a good guy.”

Charles could hear no and be happy, obviously.

Charles had probably leaked in a race suit.

Maybe in an F1 race Max was there for and didn’t know.

It would definitely just blend in the ass sweat that was inevitable, and a driver could only hope to have a team race suit that hid it decently instead of it looking like piss every race.

Max could probably fall asleep like this.

It wasn’t saying much, Max was good at sleeping. Mila had fallen asleep a couple times on Charles’s shoulder.

“If I don’t get up I will fall asleep.”

“I don’t mind,” Charles said, running his hand through Max’s hair again. “Rest. I will tell Maman she can bring the kids back when they are ready.

Max woke up to Charles calling his name. “Maman is on the way upstairs with the kids.”

Max didn’t know how long he’d been lying there. Probably it was much more comfortable for him than for Charles.

“Thank you,” Max said, lifting himself up.

“Any time,” Charles answered.

Even though probably Charles needed much sleep more than Max did, because he did not sleep well on planes.

Max didn’t have much sense of time. They ate, Pascale left, they watched more Babar the elephant. They got the kids to bed,

“If you are too tired to go home, you should just stay.”

“Thank you.”

Both of them ignored their phones all evening. Max didn’t even turn his back on.

Max hoped Charles would sleep half as well as Max knew he would.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Max woke up to dog face licks.

Because Jaxx apparently woke up first and let King out of his crate, and then opened their door.

Max’s door. 

Not Charles’s door, even though he was in the bed. Max’s bed. And trying badly to hide his laughter at King being on the bed and licking Max’s face.

The coughing was not very convincing.

“Charles? You okay?” Jaxx asked.

Apparently it was convincing enough to a three year old.

“Jaxx, can you get King’s leash for a walk?” Charles asked. Max could hear his smile.

Saying ‘walk’ got King to jump down from the bed and scramble after Jaxx, who was running out of the room.

“You should borrow something. You are wearing the same clothes you made the video in.” Max forgot to offer him a change of clothes last night. Changing into pajamas wasn’t really a thought Max had. Usually it was just taking off what he was wearing except for underwear. But, with Charles there, what Max wore normally was comfortable enough to sleep in. And Charles’s clothes last night looked like that too. Still, it wasn’t polite. “You can just grab whatever, and you don’t have to ask next time.”

“Thank you,” Charles said.

Charles had his phone in his hand. He’d been going through it, probably.

Max remembered his phone was still off because he was avoiding Red Bull.

Not his most mature action.

Raymond probably wouldn’t be thrilled with him for not telling him first. Raymond didn’t even know Max liked men- probably didn’t know.

“We can race,” Charles said. “In Abu Dhabi.”

Max could joke, and he could also seriously complain that the race calendar should be shorter, but he was still relieved.

He still wanted to race.

In an ideal experience for him, Max would avoid every part of an F1 weekend that wasn’t racing, and cut one free practice out a week. He’d cut two free practices, except it would stress the engineers, and Max didn’t want to drive a shit car. And he’d ditch a few tracks off the calendar for sure, but he wouldn’t care that much if they were replaced with good tracks and keep the calendar as long, if he could get rid of the media shit. No interviews. No youtube videos- except the Red Bull ones where they drove a weird vehicle were okay. No sprints.

It was especially important for Charles to finish the season.

“Good,” Max answered.

“If you want to avoid people today, I could take King for a walk,” Charles offered.

Going for a walk with all four of them wouldn’t be anything new.

But it would be the first time after both of them came out.

Of course, it wouldn’t change much for the internet, because there were already definitely pictures around.

So it would just stop Max and the kids from potentially having some conversation with someone in public on this particular day. It would still happen any other day they chose to leave the apartment. Probably it would cool off with time, but it would be a while.

On one side, Max didn’t want the media and fans to change him and what he did. On the other side, Max really didn’t want to deal with people bothering him, and he didn’t want the kids dealing with that, even though they wouldn’t understand. And probably they were already used to be being stopped in public any time they were with their dad. Their dad had still been very famous at home. Probably he was bothered more in the Netherlands and Belgium much more than Max was usually bothered in Monaco, which did not bother people much.

“I really don’t mind just taking King by myself,” Charles offered again.

“No! I walk King. Please?” Jaxx added.

Jaxx didn’t actually say what he wanted as much as Max was sure a three year old was supposed to.

Mila wouldn’t want to be left behind either.

“Jaxx, can you say please in French? Do you remember? Si-” Max started sounding it out.

“S'il te plait,” Jaxx answered.

“Okay, you can come on the walk. I will go with you, and Charles and Mila can come if they want, or they can stay here. Is Mila awake?”

Jaxx ran out of the room.

If Mila wasn’t awake, she would be soon.

“Is everything else okay on your phone?” Max asked. Probably Charles had been going through his phone while Max was still asleep.

“I had to tell even Fred we aren’t dating. And Nicolas. After I told him, Nicolas asked if I am sure.”

“I should check my messages.”

Max didn’t know what Raymond and Christian and Helmut would be saying. Helmut would probably be leaving voice mails only because he didn’t like texting. Christian and Raymond would be doing both. And then friends and family seeing if he was okay.

Max would rather take a walk.

Max went over to his clothes. He could just keep the same shorts on. He needed a shower later anyway. He found a new shirt at least, and shed the old one- into the laundry bag instead of on the floor because he had manners.

“I can help Mila get ready,” Charles offered.

“Thanks,” Max agreed, getting on the new shirt.

Even though Charles still needed to change, and Max shouldn’t impose on him to take care of the kids. 

Or maybe Charles would rather stay here with Mila. Or go and do something else with his day while Max took both the kids.

Max allowed himself a bit of time to himself. Toilet, a quick shave and teeth brushing without a toddler under foot. Making his hair look decent even though he could use a shower. He’d probably take one if he wouldn’t feel bad for King.

“You look nice,” Charles greeted him when Max left his room.

Probably Max took too long.

It was the kind of compliment someone gave when they could tell effort was made to not look lazy. Max still appreciated it.

“Thanks.”

With maximum effort, he wouldn’t look half as good as Charles just woken up, or not having slept in days.

Charles had both Mila and Jaxx dressed including shoes. Which mostly meant he had helped Mila, since Jaxx could mostly handle himself, but it was still appreciated. Neither of them in red, surprisingly.

“I’ll be quick,” Charles promised, walking back to Max’s room. “Unless you would rather go without me?”

“I think King can wait a few minutes,” Max said. The dog wasn’t crying or standing near the door. Max didn’t even know what time it was.

His turned off phone was in his pocket.

Max pulled it out as Charles closed the door in Max’s room.

Probably it turning on only took a few seconds, but it felt longer.

It buzzed repeatedly. And that would be only from people who made it through do not disturb, Max was pretty sure.

Friends and family he could deal with later. He knew there wouldn’t be anything upsetting or difficult from them.

He mostly knew. He knew. It would be fine. The worst he could imagine was a ‘why didn’t you tell me sooner’, and he didn’t even really expect that.

Helmut he would deal with later, because texts were easier.

Raymond didn’t complain at him. At least not in text. Maybe he didn’t think Max could take it.

Just a congratulations on coming out. 

Saying he was there for whatever Max needed. 

And asking if he was dating Charles.

That… was going to get annoying.

Like people couldn’t just be friends.

Close friends.

He knew it looked weird, but that was apparently how Leclercs worked.

Most people didn’t maintain multiple best friends from nursery school and many from elementary school. Most people didn’t have people like the Bianchi’s. Close enough that they were the same family. Most F1 drivers didn’t have an actual real friend on the grid, and Charles and Pierre never let it go bad between them.

Max knew the help would slow down eventually. He wouldn’t need Pascale as many hours over winter break- though he’d still pay her the same, just she could have more holiday. And Charles would be around less often too. He’d go off on whatever holiday he had planned, and then training, which would probably be mixing regular training with cross country skiing- the most boring skiing, though also the safest- and ice cliff climbing, or whatever it was called. Which, even with ropes, it could not possibly be safe.

Charles didn’t take long to get ready.

Max did not have distinctive clothes. No one would recognize what he was wearing. Charles picked things that were not Alpha Tauri brand, which were the only slightly distinctive clothes Max owned besides Red Bull team gear. No one would know that the non-descript navy blue t-shirt and grey shorts. They looked short on Charles, though he probably did not have longer legs than Max.

“You won’t be cold?” Max asked.

“I will be fine, thank you.”

Charles got the dog, and Jaxx went along with the dog, so Max had sleepy, slightly grumpy Mila.

Or maybe she just didn’t like walking. She was alright being carried around.

Was that something he should worry about?

He hadn’t thought to mention that to the doctor.

They still needed to find a doctor in Monaco.

Or maybe people had to go into France for that.

Max hadn’t been to a doctor in Monaco before.

He had the doctor his dad had picked in Belgium, and, other than that, he basically only went to a doctor when something was bothering him, and it was whoever Red Bull told him to go to. Or just the medical center at the track. He never had that serious of a problem.

Except for when he occasionally couldn’t see straight and sometimes had headaches for most of the second half of last year. But it stopped completely in the off season, and he was fine all of this year. Even with the bouncier car, so it was really fixed.

Max had walked with Charles around Monaco before.

He didn’t actually know how many times at this point.

There were always some waves and usually a few shouts.

Usually people didn’t even seem to care about Max being there. Charles was the celebrity in Monaco, not Max.

This was more.

Still mostly focused on Charles.

Multiple people tried to actually stop them. Or stop Charles, at least.

A few people who spoke in quick French, which Max understood… some of.

And two people who spoke quick Italian that was completely not understandable.

Charles mostly shook hands- the one with the leash in it- and said thank you and made an excuse to leave. In a very gentle way.

And then he would apologize to Max again.

When Charles was the one getting bothered.

Of course Max caught his name several times- almost the only bit in one Italian conversation- but that was alright, because they weren’t talking to Max, so Max didn’t have to do anything.

“I should go handle some things,” Charles said when they got home. Max’s home. And the kids’ home. “Maman will be here soon?” he asked.

Max also needed to handle some things too. Like calling Marko and checking Christian’s messages. And GP had texted him too, which was not really very common, so it was probably personal. And Brad texting him could be personal or professional. And if he really wanted to be attentive, he could make it to the friends and family texts. And shower. He should shower. He hadn’t actually showered when Charles was there- and neither had Charles. Except at his dad’s house, because that place was huge with so many rooms and showers.

“Yeah, she will be here soon,” Max answered.

Charles gave hugs goodbye, even to Max. Like Max had requested, he didn’t ask. Out loud, at least. He sort of gestured.

Max put something on the tv for the kids. Something in English that Max vaguely recognized that P liked.

And he gave them some pre-packaged breakfast. They would eat it and like it more than something Max made, and that was good enough. Pascale would have some nutritious lunch plan.

It let him look at his phone. He had already looked at messages from Raymond, so Christian next.

His first text was asking Max to call.

And pretty immediately after that he said he wished Max had told Red Bull first, to make sure they could protect him.

So a little bit passive aggressive or something, but not bad.

The news that Max would be allowed to race came later.

And the request for Max to communicate with the marketing team.

That wasn’t high on Max’s to do list.

He didn’t need to do any marketing over the fact that he was attracted to some men. That was very stupid to ask him to do. It was not anyone’s business just because Max announced it. It was fine for other people to do whatever marketing bullshit if they really wanted to. Probably Charles would do some. But Max would be shit at it, and he didn’t want to do it.

GP said he was proud of Max, and he hoped to see him in Abu Dhabi.

That was nice.

Probably legal and marketing were bothering Max’s e-mail, but all Max really needed to know was that he could race. Those people could and would bother him in person in Abu Dhabi.

Helmut had actually texted, saying Max needed to call him.

Max knew Helmut hated squinting at the tiny screens, even though he didn’t complain about it. Everyone just called him

No one could really complain to Helmut Marko.

His F1 career ended with being half blinded, literally losing an eye from a stone and the shitty helmet technology of the time.

Not that Max was sure they’d be protected from something like that now. Massa’s accident wasn’t that many years ago, and that had been really shitty for him.

Helmut’s advice from Max’s bad crash was that if he could race, he should race, and not give people the opportunity to stop him.

And no one would dare making a Helmut’s helmet joke, even when he wasn’t around. For one, they were all too involved in racing, and no one wanted something like that to happen to them or a driver they supported.

Max called him.

“You are lucky they are letting you race,” Helmut said when he picked up.

“I know. I appreciate it.”

“You could still say your phone was hacked. That is a thing which happens.”

“It didn’t happen to me, and I am not going to tell people it did.”

“Don’t let it affect your race. This is an important race in Abu Dhabi. Just because it is not as important as last year, does not mean it is not important. You have already missed a race this year. Which I supported.”

“Thank you, Helmut.”

Easy.

And, he hadn’t asked about Charles.

Max made it through some friend texts, not saying more than ‘thank you’ and a few ‘I’m not dating Charles Leclerc’.

Max even checked his email, deleting those unimportant.

Max told someone from marketing that he would see them in Abu Dhabi. He would avoid that if possible.

Max did feel badly enough for his PR manager that he told her he would listen to her advice in Abu Dhabi, and he had meant it. It wasn’t exactly the place to fuck around with something like this.

Pascale arrived not long after Max decided he had done enough email work for an off day.

She kissed near each of his cheeks.

“Maman, eggs?” Jaxx asked.

Fuck.

Jaxx definitely didn’t know what that meant.

He heard Charles- and Lorenzo and Arthur- call Pascale Maman, just like he heard Max call her Pascale. But Jaxx was very very used to everything having multiple names. Hell, his first name was actually Jason, which he did know, even if he went by his second name, Jaxx. But he would say his full name was Jason Jaxx Verstappen. And he was used to learning and saying words in two or three languages.

Jaxx’s mother was dead.

He didn’t have any idea he was calling Pascale mother. He probably only vaguely understood other people’s relationships at all.

Fuck.

“Pascale, do you mind making eggs? Jaxx knows I don’t make them as good.”

“That’s okay,” Jaxx said, patting Max’s leg.

Comforting Max for making shitty eggs.

It wouldn’t help Jaxx to make him upset over using a word. It was just a word in a language that Jaxx didn’t know many words of. He probably just thought it was her other name, or maybe a word to call an older woman.

Max wondered if Jaxx had eaten his muffin and was just still hungry, or if Jaxx fed it to the dog. It wasn’t chocolate, at least. Max had been looking over frequently, but he could have missed it.

“I teach,” Pascale decided.

Max wanted to thank her for not making a scene in that moment when Max clearly wanted to avoid it. Except… maybe there needed to be a scene.

Fuck.

Or at least a truth that might turn into a scene.

Fuck.

“Jaxx, Maman is another word for Mama. That is why Charles and Lorenzo and Arthur call Pascale Maman. Because she is their mama. I call her Pascale.” Max grew up usually calling adults by their first name, except when someone told him what to call someone. “And you should call her-” Max looked to Pascale.

“Pascale,” she finished. “Or whatever you like.”

That wasn’t Maman, obviously.

Maybe… something like an aunt. Tante. Like Michael Schumacher had been Uncle Michael. Though there was more motivation there for his father to keep them close.

“Okay,” Jaxx agreed.

It was too easy. With Jaxx not even asking again about his mama. It had been a long time since either of them asked. Did they think this was vacation time with big brother Max? He was sure even Jaxx did not really understand death, that his own mother and father were dead. Or maybe Jaxx understood more than Max thought, but Max couldn’t understand him. But it maybe was just something that could be rushed. Like a kid not ready to stay dry through the night. It wasn’t going to happen until it happened. Or at least that was what the internet said about diapers overnight.

Max could actually handle making some really basic eggs if everything wasn’t chaos around him. While Pascale watched, he put butter on the pan, even though it was non-stick, and he didn’t have to turn the heat off in the middle so he could let the dog shit without setting the house on fire.

They ate eggs.

Max’s reminder for his stream went off. He hadn’t exactly been thinking about that.

He could just not show up.

Text the other guys and say they would have to do it without him.

But maybe he needed the practice.

The practice dealing with people.

And to thank them for being cool about it.

And only one of them even asked about Charles, which was a much better ratio than everyone else in his phone.

He could use the practice, and driving was good.

Journalists could find quotes from the stream and make their articles from that instead of from talking to Max.

Red Bull had never tried to influence what Max said on stream, except for a few words. No retard, no mongool- which was about the same thing and very commonly said in Max’s childhood. Not just from his father, but from most people, and from many people Max didn’t know. He said he wouldn’t say it anymore, and moved on. Obviously no racial slurs, but Max knew that without being told. He was told not to say anything homophobic either, which was a bit funny.

But they never said not to talk about himself. Usually, that was not much worry, because Max did not share about himself. Private life was meant to be private. And he still thought that.

Even though he tweeted to the whole world that he was bisexual.

Max would do some racing.

“Hey, guys,” Max said when he connected.

“Hey! Glad you could make it.”

“And at my home sim in Monaco instead of my laptop in Abu Dhabi.”

“But- you- we heard you could go, right?”

“I will be flying out tomorrow, yes.”

“Good. That’s great.”

“So Max, do you want to address the elephant in the room, or just race?”

“Oh, an elephant. Is that what Red Bull marketing is having me ride next? You know, I am surprised we have not rode any animals for those videos. Like Daniel rode the horse at Austin.” Austin where his dad died. And Sandy. He couldn’t and wouldn’t forget about Sandy. How many hours before then was he laughing with cowboy Daniel? “Mila would like that. She likes horses. Maybe that is too Ferrari though.” Did Max even know Mila liked horses before? Maybe in a distant way? She seemed to like lots of animals. He did not suggest taking her to see Daniel on the horse. Was that on Thursday probably? Did she even like horses more than other animals? Now she did for sure. Though she was probably going to get attached to elephants from Babar, if they kept watching. “A bull would make more sense than an elephant or horse. But I would not want to ride a bull. Even a castrated bull I would not trust. Carlos and I, we did the mechanical bull once at Toro Rosso. But, you know, it stops when you fall off, and no horns and feet to stomp or ah- like- with the horns-” 

“Skewer.”

“Yes. Maybe an elephant would be better. People do ride them, of course, and more than for a few seconds like bulls. Actually, the male elephants are also called bull elephants. That could be the connections. Maye it would be better if it did not have the horns- the tusks. Sometimes they remove those so the people don’t want to kill them for the ivory. But they could still step on you. Elephants are very dangerous, especially the bull elephants. And I don’t think anyone castrates elephants, because they want them to be busy making more elephants.”

“Did not expect this much castration talk, to be honest.”

That was weird.

And Max’s fault. And Max was not going to stand for any sort of psychological nonsense about this reflecting his sexual and mental state. It was just that it made animals more docile, which was relevant to riding them, or even to keeping them as pets. Jimmy lost his balls before Max got him. Probably because the breeder did not want other people making expensive cats, or because otherwise Jimmy and Sassy would make inbred kitties. Well, Sassy was also fixed, so really they could have just done that. Probably it was to stop other breeders from getting the idea. And King was fixed before he was Max’s dog.

“Yes you should never know what to expect. That would be boring,” Max countered.

“I don’t think we’re at risk of being boring with you around, mate.”

“Ah, mate, I wish people could see that I am so boring. That would be much better for me.”

“Well, you kinda- did something yesterday that got a lot of interest? Or are we still ignoring that? We can definitely ignore that, but you might want to not look at chat.”

“Race start first,” Max countered.

They could have played some other game. Any other game. But Max felt like racing.

He needed it.

“Of course, yeah. Got to get you in the seat of a car.”

The guys settled into the normal random reactions to the race.

Max waited until the main straight.

“It was something I thought about doing sometimes. But I hate the attention, you know? I did not want it to be… a big deal. It should not be, I think. I did not want this to affect my career. I didn’t want to be remembered as the first out active driver or whatever. I thought definitely not at least until I was World Champion.” The main straight was long past. He was just talking around the whole lap now. Which wasn’t unusual, especially for a casual race. It wasn’t so hard to keep talking. 

“And then I was dating a woman. So… what did it matter? I wasn’t trying to find a man, and I don’t want the attention. I’m not an activist. Not political. Not a role model. Except at driving. I am a driver. And I wasn’t going to do anything that could fuck that up. But then Charles did it. So I wouldn’t be the first, I guess. And I thought he shouldn’t be alone. I did not think he would actually do it at least until after the season. But of course he did it as soon as he decided to do it. That is very Charles.”

“So… you knew he was thinking about it?”

“He told me a few days before he made the video he was thinking about this.”

“He told you… because he knew about you being bisexual too?”

“No, he did not know about me, actually. Until maybe a few minutes before I posted on Twitter, I told him. I have not told many people before. Only some family.”

“So… you and Charles aren’t…?”

“I am not dating Charles. I do not know why people keep asking me this. Like people cannot be friends.”

“Yeah. Of course, mate. Thanks.”

It was easier racing after that.

It was not a session taken very seriously with the racing. Usually a session that not serious, he would do on his second iRacing account. The one that was theoretically his dad’s. Technically, it was against the rules to have multiple iRacing accounts. But they have never said anything to Max, and they would be stupid to do it. Really, it is just good business to let people have multiple accounts if they want. They have to buy all of the cars and things on each account separately, so that is good money. It just felt weird to use the second account when his dad was dead. He didn’t really care about his iRating or safety rating anyway. It wouldn’t stop him from anything he actually wanted to do.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Questions about his sexuality weren’t much more irritating than any other questions reporters asked.

Someone had decided that he didn’t have a get out of media free card anymore. Which was a mistake on their part. Max’s Red Bull PR manager hovered just outside of all the tv frames. He was in the TV pen, not the press conference. He’d rather have had the press conference. At least then he would be sitting next to other drivers. And it would be fewer questions for him, and not the same ones over and over again.

At least they were sort of new questions, since he hadn’t been asked them for years. So that was a little less boring. They were still coming up with new ways to not quite ask what they wanted to ask. But that meant he also actually had to think before answering, unlike responding to questions he had answered dozens of times before. Questions he knew the answers to after the first few words.

But, ultimately, he had a set amount of time with the media no matter what, so it didn’t matter that much what they were saying.

And it was funny them being vague about what they were asking. Probably because they were in a country where being gay was actually illegal. Max didn’t care. He and Charles had been promised safety for them and their family, and that was good enough for him. Pascale said she wanted to go if Max and Charles were going, as long as Max was okay with the kids coming. Or, if Max wanted her to come but the kids stay, they could stay with Lorenzo and Arthur. She wanted to be there for her son, obviously, but she asked it like she wanted to support Max too. Not even just the kids. So that was nice.

None of them were going to leave the heavily secured area to go out and explore the country, but if they stayed in the areas they were supposed to be, they’d be safe.

Probably safer than driving a car- race car or road car- and Max still did both.

Max felt much more safe than when they were by the track with the bombings at the beginning of the season. Though that was not saying much, because that was terrible.

Max said that anyone who wanted to come could come.

So that was Pascale, the kids, Max’s mother, Victoria, Jaye, and Jaye’s mother, Kelly. Arthur was coming too, but was traveling with Ferrari. He was part of the post season F2 test that would be a couple days after the F1 race. The day after F1’s post season test, which Max would be expected to be a part of.

And then, some time later, there was the FIA prize giving.

It was like the season was not really over when it was over.

And that was only the big, official things. Not sponsors things which happened sometimes, which Red Bull had given Max a pass on for a while, but that might just mean it was stacking up. And factory testing, marketing, and whatever else. Then preseason training for next season.

Max refocused on whatever question was being asked of him. 

Asking if his recent tweet had anything to do with Charles’s recent videos.

Which Max had already said basically that it did on their twitch stream. Unless she meant something else that Victoria tweeted recently that Max didn’t know about, but probably not.

“Of course I came out because Charles made his video. If he was going to get out of a race for it, so was I. That is a joke. Though the race calendar is very long. I sent the tweet because it was easy. I don’t have so many words or a nice story, but I can send a tweet, so I did.”

“I’m sorry that you are… going through this big change without your father.”

That was a new question.

“My father knew I liked men.”

“Oh? Did he have any guidance?”

“My dad said to fuck whoever I wanted to fuck, but not to let it fuck up my career.”

“Our apologies for the language,” the reporter cut in.

Max always enjoyed that.

“I was thirteen when he gave me this advice,” Max added. “No, I think just past fourteen. It is not what I would tell to a teenager. I think it is very bad advice, but you did ask about him. And sometimes he would make comments that I would want a wife and kids someday. He knew I liked girls too. Last year he told me maybe there would be a time to come out one day for political advantage. But I don’t care about political advantage.”

“Do… you have any comment on Ralf Schumacher’s recent social media post?”

That was interesting.

“I have not been online much. I don’t know what he’s said.”

“That he is proud of young drivers today, and that he wished he had made a similar announcement when he was much younger. And then a picture of his hand with… a larger hand.”

“Oh. I tell him thank you, then. I did know this about him already. Well, not about whoever’s hand that is, but I am happy for him. My father was good friends with Michael and knew Ralf, of course. I think a lot of people knew about him, and knew not to say anything.”

Especially because Ralf was married to a woman for a long time when people knew. Max did not know anything about their relationship, except they had David and a messy divorce many years later. It was not any of Max’s business. Or anyone else but theirs.

Max moved on to the next interview.

“Was this announcement something you were already planning to do, and you just did it sooner?”

“Maybe I would not have said it but just let myself get caught kissing a man. That would be even easier than tweeting.”

“Are you… kissing any men recently?”

Some of these reporters wanted a quote more than they were afraid of the country they were in. Max respected it. Even if he did not like reporters.

“I have never kissed a man, no.”

“But… you’re sure that you… would do that?”

“Was that a question? Yes, I am sure. I have also not kissed a woman taller than me, but I would not have a problem with that. Or… I don’t think I have kissed a black woman, but I am still attracted to them.”

“So if you kissed a black man…”

“Ah, well, Calum is married, so I can’t kiss him.”

“Who is Calum?”

“The tall black man in charge of my engine. Not the making of it, but the assembly with the car and everything on site. You should ask him about his job if you want to know. It would be much more interesting than talking about who I have or have not kissed. He is very easy to notice- because he is black, and there are not many black people working in F1. He would be perfect if I was checking off boxes, but he is married. And probably would not want to kiss me or any man anyway.”

“I thought you were going to name Lewis.”

“Lewis is short. He would only check off two boxes. And, like I said, I am not interested in checking any boxes just to check boxes. That seems stupid. And, unless you tell me I missed another big tweet, I don’t think Lewis wants to kiss men either. Especially me. And I don’t at all want to kiss Lewis- no offense. I don’t even know if I will date a man or woman next. I like women very much. And I don’t have time for dating right now. It is a lot of work, finding someone and going on dates and things. I have other people to think of besides me.”

“How have you adjusted to guardianship of your younger brother and sister?”

Flying there went okay.

Except both of the kids being concerned where Charles was.

Jaxx because he knew that they were going to a race, and that Charles was supposed to race.

Mila because she was always concerned where Charles was.

They met for a dinner and went back to their separate hotels. Max had his own room, and Pascale with the kids next door.

Mila had cried and cried when Max was trying to get them to bed last night and couldn’t explain what was wrong. Jaxx tried to make her stop before he joined her.

Charles came over to distract them and ended up staying the night. In Max’s bed, so that he also wouldn’t be bothered by the kids if they woke up in the night.

Charles left in the morning to get back to his own hotel. He left through his mother’s room, so no one got the wrong idea.

Lorenzo was watching the animals in Monaco. King was apparently getting along well with the Leclerc family dog.

“It is, of course, tragedy that brought them to me,” Max answered. “So I wish that had not happened. But I am glad to have them with me. And we talk to Jaye and Victoria often. It is not easy, of course, but we are… adjusting, I think. It will be good to have the offseason with them.”

If the season would ever end.

“They are with you here this week, I think?”

“Yes, they are here. And also my mother and other two sisters. And Jaye’s mother. It was a lot of people on the flight, but not too long of a flight from home.”

“And home is Monaco?”

Oh. That sounded like a trap.

“There are people who trace my flights and put it all over the internet. You can see where I am going. It is very creepy, and the airport security does not like it, I’m sure, but it is what it is. Home can be many places, but for me and the little two, we are currently living most of the time in Monaco. Which is also known on the internet. Fortunately, I don’t think my address is public, and the building has good security.”

“You also flew with Charles’s Leclerc’s mother, I believe?”

“Yes. She watches the little ones.”

“She isn’t a parent seen in the paddock often.”

“She gets nervous when Charles and Arthur race. It is a very normal thing.”

“Does your mother get nervous?”

“Yes, but she was a racer too, so she understands. And of course Pascale supports her sons just as much as my mother.”

By the time he got to leave, he was very tired of these questions.

*****Charles*****

Charles was having a very long day.

He thought he would not be wanted at a Ferrari media obligation, but surprisingly they still wanted to see him.

There were a few angry shouts in his direction there. A few moments where his heart beat as fast as in a race, but for worse reason. But nothing bad happened. Security kept them away, and the organizers apologized and said it would not happen again. That he should feel safe to come back, and to bring his family and friends with him, and they would make sure everyone was safe.

There were a lot of autographs to sign and pictures to take, especially with children. It was good that they still wanted his autograph. Of course, the kids might not have known about Charles still. Jaxx and Mila didn’t know or understand. Most of these kids were older than Jaxx, but still young.

Carlos was there the whole time, and he acted normal, so that was good.

As far as Ferrari obligations went, an amusement park was probably the best it could be. It was still more difficult than it would have been a week ago, but it was okay.

The driver press conference that Charles was in was normal. No one asked him anything personal. Probably they were not allowed to. The other drivers all shook Charles’s hand, after George did it first, so that was a little different, but it was subtle.

Around the paddock, Pierre was with him a lot. More than he should have been. But Pierre did not have to care about Red Bull and Alpha Tauri anymore after this weekend, and he was a good friend. Charles spoke to some other drivers too, to George and Lewis. To Nicholas, which was nice of him. To Alex, to Fernando, to Kevin, to Esteban, to Daniel. To more of them in brief moments, and everyone on the grid who Charles saw was kind. And so many engineers and other staff, it seemed like all of Ferrari, and some from other teams. Usually more friendly waves than stopping to talk, because everyone was busy.

And then there was Sebastian.

“I wish I had been with you like I am with Mick,” Seb told him after they found a private space. It wasn’t what Charles expected to hear. “But it was so hard when you shined so bright in the car next to me. Ahead of me, most of the time. I was not done growing mature yet. In a few years I will know all the ways- some of the ways- I am not mature now still.”

“It wasn’t your job to teach me anything. You were a good teammate.” Especially in 2020. When it was hard, when the car was not good, when Ferrari had already let Seb go for the next year, Seb showed Charles how to stick up for himself with them. Even if Charles hadn’t been ready to do it much yet.

“I should have been better,” Seb insisted. “You didn’t have your father, and you didn’t have Jules. I know he is who you wanted to drive Ferrari beside. I thought he would be there too, at some point.”

Sebastian was just two years older than Jules would have been. But so much older than Jules ever got to be.

“Yes, but, since that could not happen, there is no one else I would rather pick,” Charles could honestly say. “I will miss you here, Seb.” Charles felt that even more.

Charles didn’t think Seb would be one to return like Fernando.

“I’ll text you my address. If you ever want to get away to Switzerland.” Not many people had Sebastian Vettel’s actual phone number. There was the driver Whatsapp group chat for GPDA things, so Seb could be reached on Whatsapp, but not many people had his actual phone number. Charles hadn’t had it until a few days ago. When Seb texted him. Including a voice text for verification. “It might be a tighter fit, but you could bring Max and the kids along.”

“Seb. It is not like that. We are friends.”

“I have seen the pictures all over the internet. Of you walking the dog and holding the little boy’s hand while he holds the leash. Or you carrying the little girl. And pictures of taking them karting. Even pictures of them driving around in a little Ferrari?”

“Philippe Bianchi brought that. It was belonging for Mélanie’s little boy, years ago.”

“Ah. That is very nice of him to bring it for them.”

“They are very nice. They are… like family for me, so… it was nice. I- maybe I will be like Philippe to Jaxx and Mila.”

“I don’t think that is quite the relationship you are looking for, Charles. With Max or the kids. Maybe until a few days ago you thought that was all you could have?”

Seb was more annoying and pushy than anyone else.

“There is not a more special relationship. Nothing breaks it. Even- even death does not break it. It is closer than some blood families. Jules was like- to Lorenzo especially, and to me, he was like a brother.” To Arthur also, he was just younger. And not karting competitively. Because they couldn’t afford it for both of them, and Charles was older and winning already. It was amazing Arthur did not hate Charles for this.

“I don’t think you want Max to be your brother,” Seb said.

Seb just had to prove he was right, didn’t he?

They were very the same, the two of them. In ways some people did not see.

“I did not want Jules to be my brother when I was a kid, but I got used to that. He became my brother. My godfather.”

“Max is not Jules.”

“I know this. Max- is recently broken up from his long term girlfriend still. And her daughter lived with them a lot of the time. And then his father died, and step-mother. And he is now like father to two kids. It is a lot. And now all of this media attention. It’s good he’s not going online. Even I have not looked too much. It is a lot. He did not have to come out.”

“I’m glad he did. I wish it was something I could do with you. I would announce it if I had anything to announce. I am here as much as I can be, but I know it is not the same. I think I will find him and thank him. Even though he’ll probably tell me to fuck off.”

“He won’t- well, he might, but he would not mean it. Of course he grew up watching you like I did.”

“Ah, I do not need more reminders of how young you both are,” Seb teased.

Charles would do it anyway, because that was the person Charles was. And because he wanted to.

“Your four championships were the four years Max and myself karted together. Sometimes there is a lot of empty time at karting events, you know. Sometimes we talked about your races. Max had the best analysis, at least of any kid, and I always wanted to learn from the best.”

“I am so ancient, it is good I’m retiring.”

That probably wasn’t intended to turn Charles’s words against him.

“I do not think that. But I hope you enjoy your retirement.”

“I’m not worried for me. I am worried for Mick. I know he does not shine as bright as you. But I do think he could have had a good career with a better start. Like Kevin. Maybe he can be like Kevin with the sort of second chance he got with Renault when McLaren did not work out.”

“Toto is a good person to have his backing. He got Esteban a seat again, and now Esteban is a race winner,” Charles pointed out.

Seb smiled. “That would be nice.”

“I will look after Mick for you too,” Charles promised. Mick would be around in the Mercedes garage. He knew Mick pretty well from Ferrari junior events.

“That is not your job. You are already looking after two children, and you are not enough older than Mick to worry about him. It must be only two or three years?” Seb asked.

“One year and a half.”

“Agh, you are so young! I should be telling you to have a good race so you can party- except this is a difficult country to party in, and much more dangerous to you. And you would miss the kids’ bedtime.”

“I did not put the kids to bed last night,” Charles objected.

Seb laughed, “Charles, have you put them to bed other nights?”

He did sort of say that.

“Mila was crying, the first night here. And Jaxx was crying because Mila was crying. My hotel was just across the street. And I was still awake.”

Of course, that would imply that Max or Maman would expect Charles to be good at calming them down.

“I am proud of you,” Seb said. Max had said he would be. Charles knew he was right. It felt good. “For coming out, and for being a very good friend. And maybe you will tell me… if there is ever more to tell me.”

“Thank you, Seb.”

*****Max*****

Media grabbed him for the Secret Santa thing. Max didn’t remember if it was filmed at Abu Dhabi last year or not. It wasn’t the part of Abu Dhabi he remembered.

He didn’t even know for sure if other people had already filmed theirs, and media had just not been able to get to Max last weekend.

Secret Santa was always the first reminder of Christmas.

Max didn’t know how to handle Christmas.

Probably there was nothing really for him to handle. They would probably stay in his father’s house again. It was big enough, and they hadn’t sold it. His grandmother would come and stay. There was not much else to it.

Max wasn’t expected to plan or cook, or even buy gifts.

For years, Victoria picked out his gifts for people. Sometimes his mother helped too. Last year, Kelly had wanted to help. Even though they hadn’t actually spent Christmas together.

Everyone got what they wanted, and Max just paid for it. Easy.

Victoria picked the Secret Santa present for Mick. An adopted for charity lion. It was a good gift. Max was glad to have gotten Mick, and glad Vicky picked something good. It was something Mick would like, and something the people watching on youtube would like too. Lion for Max. It would be easy to guess him.

Max smiled for the camera. It was a fun video for Christmas. It was much better than a stupid interview.

Max knew before the media people handed it to him that it was a game.

That was a nice thing.

A playstation game for sure, from the size of it.

He told the media person that, and she laughed. “This must be something to play, for sure. Ah, it must be FIFA or something,” he said.

He wondered if the media knew what it was. Max wasn’t sure if Victoria wrapped his gifts or if the media did.

Max laughed when he saw the cover.

Just the game would be a little funny, because so many people knew he complained about the game. Which he was of course not supposed to complain about.

Max had played the F1 games so much as a child.

He remembered an event where he beat his dad and was interviewed for it. It felt like a big deal at the time, beating his dad at a racing game. Even though knowing the particulars of the game helped a lot.

This copy of the cover had three of the same picture of Charles looking back at him.

The real cover had Charles in the middle but two other drivers on the side. Lando, Max was pretty sure. Max had a copy at home. 

Max was on the cover of the “Champions” edition, which replaced the “Deluxe” edition they did before. Max hadn’t seriously played them in a long time, so he didn’t know what they added. Max was on the cover with Fernando, Vettel, and Hamilton, so it was very literally the ones who were champions, apparently. Max did not have to take a special picture just for it, so that was all that mattered to him.

Max looked at the cover again. It was a joke, but it was a nice joke.

He showed the cover to the camera.

It was a nice one from Charles. The perfect thing for a marketing video like that.

It was surely from Charles.

Not from another driver who was teasing him about Charles.

They would not do that, would they?

Surely it was from Charles. He was even good at photoshop. Not that this would take too much skill. Charles designed his own helmets, most of the time. Or worked with a designer probably, but he had ideas he could show.

There was a letter. Max read it aloud.

“Monsieur Max Verstappen,” Max started with relief. Definitely Charles. Pierre wouldn’t do that, would he? “Sounds very official. Here is a special Formula One edition for my biggest fan,” Max laughed. “Well, I definitely know from who it is,” Max said. Because of the pictures of Charles. Not because of what the note said. Well, technically he needed a little confirmation from the note, but only because of the things people had been saying. Of course it was from Charles. “It’s a nice one, Charles. You did well.”

Max was sure Charles thought of it. It didn’t matter if Charles or someone else photoshopped it, or especially who printed it, because it looked very professional with the odd shaped paper cover in just the right size. Charles might have done it if he wanted to, or just told someone his idea. Someone online could do it without even knowing who it was for. It could be for a super Charles fan.

*****Max*****

The drivers’ reactions were more interesting than the press.

Checo didn’t bring it up at all and acted like normal. Maybe still mad at Max from last race, but he didn’t really show it. Or Max was not very good at knowing what Checo was thinking. Max wished him luck on securing P2, and Checo just said thank you.

George was the first he saw outside of Red Bull. George wanted Max to know that he and Charles would have the full legal support of the GPDA, and that just because Sebastian was retiring didn’t mean that the GPDA would stop caring about human rights.

Max had to suffer through Lewis being too serious with a hand on Max’s shoulder for a long time. Like he was old and wise. Which, really, he was only old. And shorter than Max, so his hand was lifted higher than his shoulder. And Max was not really very tall.

It felt alright, for Lewis to say those things to him.

Pierre hugged him, but that wasn’t much of a surprise. And he spoke in quick French, which Max understood easily, because it was simple words. Thanking him. Congratulating him.

Daniel was even more touchy than Pierre. Arms around Max, ruffling his hair, shaking him around. Saying how proud he was of Maximillian. He said Max’s name like it was one name instead of two.

Mick was sweet. Mick was always a sweet kid. Maybe too sweet for this career. His dad was a questionable ethics driver, pushing every boundary there was. But he was a sweet dad. Max used to think that was a problem. But enough evidence piled up that showed that wasn’t the case. Herve and Pascale Leclerc. Philippe Bianchi. Probably his wife was just as sweet. Mick would be okay. Not just because he was rich.

Yuki said he was brave. Red Bull junior Liam Lawson who was there to drive Max’s car for FP1 stood next to Yuki and nodded, said a few words. Max knew they had raced several series together a few years ago, because Max kept up with that sort of thing. He heard they lived together at some point, so they were probably good friends.

Nyck was there early for the post-season test. It would be good having him on the grid next year. Max hoped he did well. He was one of the ones Max struggled through texting occasionally, which put him in a pretty narrow circle. Nyck clapped him on the shoulder. Nyck was even shorter than Lewis. He was extremely short growing up in the Netherlands. Max didn’t remember what age he had outgrown Nyck, but he was young, even with Nyck two and a half years older. Maybe Nyck hung out well with the younger kids better because of that, being their height. Or he just wanted to get to know Max because his dad was a former Formula One driver. Max didn’t hold that against him. It was just smart. Max had been interested because Nyck was talented. It was hard to tell at that level, but he had been the type that had a chance. And he’d made it enough to have a career. And now he had his chance at Formula One too. Technically, he already had with the Williams, and had points.

A few drivers waved in passing. Max didn’t get that up close and personal with everyone. Fernando got close enough to say that Andrea would be very happy with Fernando if he got her a private interview with Max or Charles. Max said he’d think about it.

Lando was the most interesting.

He invited Max back to his driver’s room. No one in McLaren said anything, even with Max walking through the McLaren motorhome in full Red Bull gear. Probably it was like Max had immunity.

“Do you remember Jack? Max’s friend who was staying with us that time last year?”

“Yeah?”

“He wasn’t really Max’s friend. He was a guy I was seeing at the time.” Oh. “I think- maybe I’ll come out over break. I thought about doing it as soon as you did it. But like… I hadn’t told the team or anything- though probably some of them suspect. And Abu Dhabi scared me? Make sure you’re really safe, okay, mate? But I’m not going to chicken out. Even though Bahrain sounds scary and like- half the races next year- actually all the races and like… everything sounds scary, but I want to do it.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Max reminded him. “You don’t owe anything to anyone.”

“Yeah, but like… you and Charles are doing it. If they’re making a safety plan for two of you, it might as well be three. I’ve uh… already told Zak. And he went into full sponsorship opportunity assessing mode. So it’s like… started. Did you really not tell anyone before tweeting it?”

“My dad figured it out. I told my mother and sister. And Charles. And then… everyone.”

“And you really didn’t tell him until like a couple days ago?”

“That is correct.”

“So… you’re not dating? This like- isn’t me checking if you’re single for me. I like- don’t think of you that way, and also, I love kids, but am not ready to date someone with them- sorry, probably didn’t need to say that part. Hope you don’t get that a lot. Like in the future. But I don’t think it would be a problem with Charles.”

“I am not dating Charles.”

“How would you feel if someone else did?”

Oh.

“Are you planning on asking out Charles?”

“Oh, God, no. Though like… he is crazy hot. Just no. Definitely no.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not answering that, mate. Figure it out.”

Because he thought Charles and Max were dating. Or were going to be. Max wasn’t stupid. And everyone would figure out that that wasn’t happening eventually.

“Not wanting someone with a dangerous job?” Max suggested instead.

“When I have a dangerous job? Pretty hypocritical that would be. Nope, not it. And move on. Think about it when the season’s over, if you must. Not good to be distracted when we’re going to be driving rocket ships 300kph.”

“339kph is about the top speed at this track.”

“I know that- if I think about it. I meant generally.”

“Generally, we are racing drivers who drive that fast every other week on average. More than that on average if the FIA and FOM and whoever else get their way and we keep expanding. Twenty-four races this year. They want thirty.” Max breathed his way through a common rant. If any of the drivers were excited about the expanded schedule, they didn’t say anything. It was a weird thing, maybe, for people who loved racing so much and tried to hard to get where they were to complain about it. But it was a lot. The travel, the press. It was a lot. Max knew it was worse for all the other employees, other than the physical toll.

“Yeah. And it’s good to have people who understand that. I just wanted you to know that like… I get it. Like Charles said, it’s like… good to have a friend who understands liking racing and liking boys. I need tell Charles too. Or you can. Coming out is like… so awkward. I’m definitely going to agonize forever on my video. It’s so like you to just do a tweet. When you could get so many views in longer form content that’s more easily monetizable. Like twitch. Or youtube is better for rewatching. Of course you wouldn’t want that.”

“You can have all the views, please. I don’t want them.”

“Okay, honest opinion- do you think I could get away with having a thirst trap Instagram?”

Max fully cringed. It was rude.

Lando laughed.

“Mate, in my head you are still like fourteen in karting and looking ten years old. You should make this separate account just so I do not see anything like that on the account I follow.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not my type either.”

Max didn’t remember what Jack looked like.

“Is your type Carlos?” Max asked.

“Shut the fuck up. You didn’t have to have- oh. You did have to have Carlos as your first teammate. So you know how crazy hot he is- obviously you’d know that even if you were never his teammate.”

“He is attractive,” Max acknowledged. “And annoying. And his father and cousin are much more annoying, and less attractive.”

“They love me,” Lando countered. “And Papa Sainz isn’t so bad looking for an old guy. And he wasn’t as hot as Carlos when he was younger. So probably Carlos will age even better.”

Max was sure that wasn’t necessarily how that worked.

And they liked Lando because Lando had been the rookie and second year when Carlos was a veteran. Carlos got to beat Lando, and then Carlos moved on before Lando got fully past him. And Lando was just making Carlos look better now, beating Daniel by so much that Daniel lost his fucking seat. If Lando was doing worse, everyone would just think that car was an undriveable shitbox. Which it was. Lando could just drive it anyway.

“Do you want to tell Charles, or do you want me to?” Max asked.

“You can. Thanks.”

Seb was maybe the second most memorable.

“Thank you for not letting Charles go through this alone,” Seb said.

It wasn’t any different than half the things Pierre said.

“He made the hard video. I just sent a tweet.”

“I’m proud of you.”

Max didn’t know what to say to that.

“I’m not an activist. I’m not going to start giving speeches and showing up to charity events that Red Bull doesn’t make me go to.”

“I would not ask you to. What I will ask you… Will you look after Charles?”

That was new.

Max knew very well that Charles- that all of the Leclercs- had done a lot of looking after the kids but also Max. Max was still not competent at looking after himself and the kids.

“I will,” Max promised anyway.

“Good lad,” Seb said.

“Fuck off.”

“Are you coming to the dinner?” Seb asked.

Max didn’t know what that was about. If Seb was asking about it, he’d have to check the group chat, probably.

“I think so,” Max answered noncommittally to cover himself.

Skimming through the group chat was nice. Someone planned a big dinner for all the drivers. Probably a sort of send off for Seb, but not one said it that way. The messages for it started before Charles and Max came out, so it wasn’t about that. They already wanted some driver togetherness or whatever.

Dinner was nice.

Every single one of the twenty drivers from that year were there, so that was impressive.

All of the drivers who Max hadn’t run into before said something to him that night. Something nice. He could be pessimistic and say it was peer pressure, but he actually thought all of them were kind people. Probably most of them were much kinder than Max.

And Lewis paid for dinner, so that was lovely.

Max didn’t have any trouble falling asleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17

*****Max*****

It should not be that weird, watching free practice from the garage. He knew all year that this would happen. The mandatory ‘rookie driver’ free practice.

Calling them rookies seemed a little silly when most of them probably would not become actual F1 drivers

Max had watched parts of free practices before, from the screens in the garage, if he was having to sit out for part or all of a session. Car damage, or just major adjustments worth getting out of the car for, or for weather too bad to be worth going out in, but some drivers tried it anyway. But there was no one else in his car those times. Some kid who Max had to just hope would not wreck his car, especially with the budget cap.

Max knew Liam Lawson was not technically just ‘some kid’. He had driven the Alpha Tauri car for free practice twice already. From their options, he was probably the safest option.

Max wondered if Juri would be in the car instead if he had not said something stupid while playing video games. On Liam Lawson’s stream, actually. Probably not, and that was just an excuse for Red Bull to part ways. Helmut didn’t care about something like that. But he did care about worse F2 performances than the year before.

“You alright, mate?” a voice near Max asked. Calum.

Speaking loudly to be heard.

Max had on the earphones even though there wasn’t a car being serviced. It was still always pretty loud in the garage.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

There were cameras around. Probably looking at him more than normal. The race coverage always looked in the garages some. Max just tried to ignore them even more than usual. He looked at screens with data, not with screens showing the tv coverage. He wasn’t sure where Netflix was either. He already did his long sit down interview with them. Wednesday in Austin. He didn’t have any idea what they’d say about everything that had happened to him after, but he’d fulfilled his contractual obligations. The rest they could just stalk about and get what footage they could.

“My wife liked that interview you gave,” Calum said.

“Ah, sorry about that.”

“No, mate, I meant it. She liked it. I did too. It was a good interview.”

“Thanks.”

Calum clapped him on the shoulder and walked away.

Max wasn’t absorbing much information from the screens in front of him.

Free practice wasn’t that interesting even with extra information that someone at home wouldn’t have. Information that Max hadn’t had on his week off if he had wanted to watch free practice, which he hadn’t wanted to.

This practice should be somewhat more interesting, with so many ‘rookies’ racing.

But, of course, the major goal was to not crash the car. A bad crash could mean a lot of work before the second free practice, or even having to use the spare chassis. And, in Max’s case, the spare chassis would be older and heavier than Max’s car, so that would be very not ideal.

Of course, it would not be as bad as it could be, because Max had already won the championship. One of the many reasons to push this rookie session until the last race. If they damage the car, it is only for one race. And, Max is as familiar with the car as possible, and it is a good track for rookies that probably all of them have done racing and testing at before. And, maybe most importantly, if a driver is too sick or injured at some point in the year, a rookie could take their place, and that could count.

Max did miss a race, but they didn’t put in a rookie, but someone who had been in F1 years ago. Which probably made a lot of people mad. But Juri was gone, and apparently they were not confident in Liam to go straight to Red Bull, and didn’t want to put either Alpha Tauri driver in the car either. Probably they thought Sebastien Buemi was less likely to crash the one upgraded chassis than a rookie. Or than Checo, because they could have given him the good chassis. Or maybe they did give Checo the good chassis and just didn’t tell Max. None of it was Max’s decision or something he really cared about, especially because everything went okay, but it meant that he was sitting out the session now.

Which… he also did not care about. Or, he wouldn’t care if he was sitting in his hotel room instead of in the garage being looked at.

Probably it was because of the budget cap. Max and Checo were told many times in the second half of the year that the most important thing was to not crash, because they did not want to make more and more parts and repairs because the budget was tight.

Max had done three of these FP1s in 2014, before they were required by the team. Japan, Austin, Sao Paulo. Obviously Suzuka was the memorable one. For being first and for Jules.

Max was not the only one sitting out this session. Most teams had a driver standing in their garage. It was obviously the best day to do this. But obviously all of the teams hadn’t figured out that of course they should let their better driver have priority to miss the best day to miss. Otherwise Charles would not be out there. Or it was more of Ferrari’s crazy insistence that they don’t have a number one driver, which was so stupid.

It finished Lewis, George, Charles, Checo, Liam. For whatever that was worth. Probably more people would be upset that Liam didn’t get to hop into Max’s seat when he was out, or into an Alpha Tauri for one of them to get Max’s seat.

Max was glad when the session was over and he could move to an engineering meeting behind a closed door.

The car felt alright in FP2. Checo and the kid gave good feedback probably. 

Max, George, Charles was the finishing order. Though it did not matter much more than FP1.

Max went back to the hotel to see the kids after he could leave the paddock.

He wasn’t sure if bringing them was horribly selfish or not.

Pascale let him in her room. Mila was in Pascale’s arms and still trying to brush Pascale’s hair. It was far too much trust for a two year old, but Pascale didn’t seem to mind.

Arthur was crawling on his hands and knees with Jaxx sitting on his back.

“I am a car,” Arthur informed him.

Max laughed.

He laughed too long. Maybe he looked a bit crazy, but it was okay.

*****Max*****

Max woke up in his empty bed, but that was how hotel beds were supposed to be. He had woken up in his bed alone the morning before as well.

It was rather risky that Wednesday night Charles had stayed there.

Max went to the other room and said hello. 

They had breakfast together, not just him with Pascale and the kids, but they met his mother and Victoria, Jaye, and Jaye’s mother for breakfast as well. Though Max didn’t eat. He thought about it.

FP3 was boring. Even with missing FP1, Max couldn’t be enthusiastic for FP3. It was a time when he was comfortable enough with the car and just wanted to race.

Quali went well.

Max got pole, Checo second, Charles third.

Because of Charles’s podium last week, if they finished exactly like that, Charles would be second in the WDC, one point ahead of Checo in third. Even if Checo got the fastest lap, Charles would still be ahead because he had more wins. But, if Charles fell any positions, he would lose the ranking too… assuming Checo did not also fall.

It was good that no one on camera asked Max who he hoped would finish ahead between those two, because he would have to lie to keep Red Bull happy. Or just not answer. Of course Max was a terrible teammate who wanted Charles to beat Checo.

Most teammates were terrible teammates. The teammate was the closest comparison for any driver, and one teammate looking worse always made the other one look better.

Probably on the whole grid, only Charles really wanted his teammate to do well. Because that was more glory for Ferrari.

Maybe for people leading by a lot, they could wish their teammate well. Lando probably did. He seemed to want Daniel to do well- not to beat him, obviously, but to do well. And he had been on good terms with Carlos too. It would be interesting to see Lando against the promising rookie coming in.

Max did the post quali interview questions on the grid with the rest of the top three, and then the press conference like a regular week. Charles and Checo on either side of him. Nothing unusual there either. There were no questions at all about their personal lives. The on the grid part would be in the official broadcast, and the press conference would be everywhere too, so the reporters clearly got the message of what not to ask and weren’t as daring as some in the tv pen Thursday. Or they’d all been warned about it. 

It was fine for a press conference. He preferred that format to talking to one reporter and then moving onto the next and repeating questions. There was a question about a corner that was actually a good one. Max answered it basically like he was talking to Charles- because he sort of did talk to Charles. And when he wanted to better use both hands and gave up on holding the microphone, Charles held his out to catch Max’s voice.

Nico found him- Hulkenberg- and clapped him on the back a few times, and then they didn’t talk about Max coming out at all, but just about the cars this year and Nico’s test coming up after the race. A conversation that could feel extra private with Nico speaking Dutch to him. Even if they weren’t actually talking about anything private. It was nice.

Then meetings where someone gave him food, and he ate it. The time of day was not really real for anyone for a night race.

The kids were already asleep by the time Max got back to his hotel, but Max spoke to Pascale briefly. This kids were happy, easy, she said. They had been with Arthur and Pascale to the swimming pool and enjoyed that. Max hoped Arthur wasn’t missing anything Ferrari related that he could attend.

*****Max*****

Max couldn’t sleep.

Even though he didn’t have anything about the race to be nervous about.

He was on pole, and he was already World Champion.

And he didn’t feel like racing with his laptop. It wasn’t as good as a real setup, and he just wasn’t feeling having the imitation.

So… he tried an imitation of something else.

With headphones on, because, even though he knew the soundproofing was very good, he wasn’t going to risk the kids hearing porn, and they were just next door. 

But he also wasn’t going to not do it, because he actually felt restless in the right way. Like he wanted it.

His dick hadn’t been totally broken in the last weeks. He’d had erections.

Mostly morning ones that were a little awkward with someone else in the bed, but they went down quickly after waking up, and he could hide it well enough.

But he hadn’t really… wanted it.

Until now he did.

He didn’t watch porn often.

Kelly hadn’t liked it. He had had pictures of her he had used. Which he had of course deleted after they broke up. A few days after they broke up, at least. When he was sure it was real. He would not want to look at an ex anyway. 

Max generally found women who liked having a lot of sex. And when he was single, he did not have that much trouble taking a girl home either. When he traveled without a girlfriend, he had a good imagination and good memory.

He really hadn’t watched much gay porn. A couple videos many years ago when he wanted to confirm it. But, after that, why pretend he had something he hadn’t planned on having? And Max thought way more women were hot than men were hot.

But, with the whole world knowing, there was no reason not to date a man… whenever he wanted to date.

Some old thoughts about wanting to settle down with a woman for kids didn’t make any sense either. Partially because he already had two kids now.

So he could get some ideas of activities he might like. Even though porn was probably a really shitty way to do that.

It wasn’t great. Max found himself just sort of watching videos for a few minutes before switching to another. He wasn’t even bothering touching himself anymore until he found something decant, and no porn was good just entertaining enough to watch without jerking off. It didn’t have high enough budget or good enough actors for that.

Probably the problem was he didn’t know what sort of video he wanted other than ones with a hot guy or two in it.

The first one he picked because one of the guys in the thumbnail looked vaguely like Max. So it would be easier to pretend to be him, he thought.

That was a shitty idea. The guy didn’t even look that much like him, and it was still a shitty idea.

The next one got violent, and Max had to get out of it right away, and figure out excluding those in the future. But probably all of them that Max wouldn’t like for that weren’t put together in a neat little label, so excluding was harder than including.

Max didn’t need a psychologist or a porn site to tell him that he didn’t want anything anywhere close to violence, and he didn’t want any degrading name calling or anything approaching that. And he didn’t need anyone to psychoanalyze why, when it seemed clear to Max that it was a healthy desire to not get treated like shit. And yeah, it was just pretend in sex for some people, but Max didn’t want that kind of pretend.

Some of the videos were just stupid and corny. 

Max picked one because it was some sort of sport setup- American football- and maybe that could be fun. But he quickly clicked away when he realized it was supposed to be American high school football. Even though even the younger actor was probably older than Max, he clicked away.

There was a lot of scrolling around and not even clicking.

Probably some of it was being nervous from being overheard.

Even though he had the headphones on, the loud air conditioning on full blast, and he hadn’t even heard crying the night before last until he opened the door, so he knew sound-proofing was good. And the kids were in bed for the night, and the door was locked on his side.

Maybe he did it to distract Charles too. He could say that.

He wasn’t crazy like Charles to just show up unannounced at a different hotel. Probably Pascale knew Charles’s room. But Max didn’t ask. Probably Pascale was even asleep. He just gave Charles a call. To chat.

“Hello?” Charles answered. He didn’t sound sleepy.

“Is there porn that isn’t shit?” Max asked. Demanded. Something like that.

Everyone knew Max was blunt. Charles wouldn’t judge him for the question.

They’d talked about more personal shit than porn.

He should have specified gay porn. Probably Charles watched both.

“I… don’t watch normal porn.” Which… what the hell did it mean? “I mean- I do not watch videos,” Charles clarified.

Oh.

There were a lot of dick pics on the internet if he liked just that. Actually, that idea had some appeal to Max. Something to focus on that was more real than porn, at least.

Or maybe he looked mostly at women.

Max would say that Charles wouldn’t have problems picking someone up, but Max knew it wasn’t that.

And Charles hadn’t said he didn’t watch any porn.

“What porn do you watch?”

“I- it is silly. You will laugh.”

“I won’t,” Max promised.

He didn’t feel like laughing.

He really fucking wanted to know.

“I- was supposed to read… to improve my English reading. I was… thirteen maybe. And I found… fanfiction.”

Max knew what that was, even if he hadn’t read any himself. What was Charles into? They had been talking about porn.

“Like- Harry Potter or something? But… sexy?” Max asked. He knew Charles had always liked Harry Potter. Everyone who had been around when they were kids knew that. And Max was sure he had heard of Harry Potter fanfiction being a big deal before. That and Twilight- which had somehow become Fifty Shades of Grey. Max knew some things. It made sense to write about the most popular characters.

“It was not always sexy. I did not even know I would find that at first. But ah… yes… And… I have read… a lot of Harry Potter stories. There are many of them. So much more than I would think. Not all are even romance, but with romance there are… so many options.”

“What do you like?” Max asked. Maybe he should have said ‘did’. But maybe not.

“Ah… sometimes the common Harry and Ginny or Harry and Hermione. That was the big ‘who should Harry really be with’. But then it for me became more the stories with Draco. Draco and Hermione or Draco and Ginny, or… especially most of all Harry and Draco. And, you know, there are good writers who make these. And very real life stories. Except for… you, know, the magic and everything. But stories will have families, kids, sometimes divorce but still working together for the family but also Harry and Draco together with the ah…”

“Gay sex,” Max supplied.

Charles laughed. “Yes, that would be the relevant to your question.”

“So that’s what does it for you?”

“I- not always. But… sometimes yes.” There was something else. And Max knew Charles was wavering on telling him.

“What else?”

“I should not tell you.”

“Tell me,” Max urged. Charles obviously wanted to, or he could have said it differently.

“It started early, before I knew for sure what my life would be, you know? I mean, I hoped it would be this but… my life was karting, and watching Formula 1 drivers- so… yeah.”

“What?”

“There is- well, it is embarrassing, but there is fanfiction of… Formula One. Not as much as Harry Potter, of course. Those were the two types I read.”

Max… sort of knew that existed. More than sort of. He knew there were stories with real people. With drivers. And video edits, and fanart. He had stayed as far away from it as possible, but he knew it existed. He had heard the name ‘Maxiel’ first years ago. He had also heard Carlando, and knew there was probably a lot of that.

“What… do they write about?” Max asked.

“Mostly pairing drivers together. At this point, if you name a pair, I’m sure there would be something.”

“The drivers… together?” Max asked just to say something. Obviously it was drivers together.

“Yes. It is… there is a lot of gay fanfiction. It’s… well, for many years, and still… there are few gay stories other places, yes? Still not many. Not real ones. So people make their own. Very common in fanfiction. And especially since all the Formula 1 drivers are men… that is most of the stories.”

“I suppose that is one way to make a teenager read. Probably better than watching porn,” Max joked. Or, it was true, so not that much of a joke. Probably it was much better, really, especially for teenagers. No body expectations, and also no wondering if everyone in the scene was being ethically treated or whatever. “Who was it about?”

“I don’t remember which was first, it- all blends together. And you probably really don’t want to hear-”

“Why would I not want to hear about this?”

“A sort of early one I can remember well was a zombie apocalypse-” Max could see the appeal. He had watched a few zombie movies before, and they were usually entertaining. “Mark Webber-” Okay, Max could understand that too. “And… Christian Horner.”

“What?”

“See, I told you you did not want to know. That is just one example. Usually it is two drivers. Back then… Well, you could guess. I read several of Mark Webber and… Seb. I am soooo so… I do not have the words to say how embarrassed that I have read stories about Seb. Seb.”

“Yeah,” Max agreed, and then wondered if he shouldn’t. It must have been weird being Vettel’s teammate after that.

“I- sent one to Anthoine- I don’t remember what it was about. But I acted like it was a joke. But we both knew it wasn’t a joke. We shared our favorites for a few years. It… got weirder when there were some with me in it. We didn’t talk about them anymore after that. The first ones with me were even in 2017. When I was still in Formula 2.”

“Who did they… put you with?”

“The first one I read was with Mick.”

“Mick? In 2017?”

“Yeah. Weird, I know. We did not race together, and- he was younger. Barely eighteen then. But it was not really… it was not sexual. A bit near the end, but not really. And it was not really like us. Some stories are trying to be realistic, and some are not. I- was a prince. Several writers like making me a prince, actually. Pierre was my older brother. I don’t know if they knew we were friends? I was running away and Mick gave me a ride. It was… sweet.”

“Have you read any about me?” Max asked, maybe because he didn’t want to think more about people writing about teenage Mick with Charles. Though, depending on when in 2017, Charles was still a teenager too. And Max would have been a teenage F1 driver who Charles raced several years ago at that point. They weren’t close.

“You don’t want to know,” Charles answered.

“That means you have.”

“I don’t think you would want to know either way.”

Yes he did.

Or not.

“Who do they pair me with?”

“Most commonly? …Daniel.”

“Oh.”

It made sense. They had been teammates for years. And people liked Daniel.

And maybe… maybe people saw the looks Max had given Daniel.

He and Daniel were friends. Maybe not best friends, but friends. They’d had a lot of fun together over the years. It was easier after Daniel didn’t have to put up with him every day like Checo did. They texted sometimes. Daniel and Lando were probably the closest thing Max had to friends on the grid. Before Charles.

“And second-most commonly… me. Well, that is before we were closer. Maybe we have beaten you and Daniel now. I have not checked the numbers since… it has been a while. Before Austin for sure. I have not looked.”

Had he read them? Or was this just data gathering of his fanbase? Would he want to read a fictional version of himself?

“Who do they usually pair you with then?”

“You most often. There are not as many stories about me, so you are the most.”

And that was before Austin.

Well, they were in a championship battle earlier in the year. And people knew they had history.

“People know we karted against each other. That video went around of the inchident,” Max smiled.

It almost felt unrelated to say, but it wasn’t. Rivals since they were children. Sort of, anyway.

“Yes. There… are a lot more stories this year. Earlier, I mean. Because we were fighting for points. Before this year, the most with me was with me and Pierre, just above you, and then with Seb. I am so so glad I never read a story of me and Seb. I would be not able to talk to him. And of course I would never read with Pierre. We are like cousins.”

Charles really tracked the numbers on this. Like another type of data for work.

“But you have read them about me,” Max said like he knew it.

“Yes,” Charles admitted. “Not since… we have been closer. I have not even been to the website since then. But before, yes.”

What was Max supposed to say to that? It wasn’t really him. It wasn’t any of Max’s business. And why had Charles stopped? Okay, stopping reading stories about Max made sense, but why stop going to the website at all?

This conversation started because Max asked what kind of porn Charles liked.

Why would he stop?

Other than that Charles had also spent a lot of nights in bed with someone he wasn’t having sex with. So obviously he wouldn’t do it those nights. But whenever Charles went back to his own place, or his own hotel room, he could do whatever he wanted.

Was he feeling guilty? Or maybe he just felt weird because when he was reading stories with Max in them, they were sort of rivals or coworkers, and now it was weird because they were actually friends? Max could of course see that making him not want to jerk off to something with Max in it anymore. Probably it was like he was embarrassed he used to read stories about Vettel. But that shouldn’t stop him from reading something else. If he wanted to jerk off to some story about Carlando- unless by being his teammate Carlos was also off limits. But someone else-

“Oh, Lando likes men. He said I should tell you. I should have told you earlier, but I wanted to make sure no one could hear. He is thinking of coming out over break.”

“Oh. That… is great, of course. I’m glad you talked, and glad he wanted me to know.”

“I had to tell him we aren’t dating. He said you’re hot. The way he said it, I think he is not interested only because he thinks we are together, even though I told him we are not. Even if you don’t want to date him, I’m sure there’s stories about him with you- if you like stories with you in it. Or Lando with Daniel would make sense with them being teammates. Or probably there are many stories of your Vegas trip with Daniel.”

“Max, I don’t- I am fine.”

“I asked what was good because pornhub was being shit, and you said that is what you like, but you’re not doing it anymore?”

“I- have just been busy. I have just… been quick when I made time for that.”

Charles had been busy helping Max. Charles hadn’t gotten out of any team duties either.

“Sorry,” Max said.

“There is nothing to be sorry.”

“Okay.”

“I mean it. There is nothing to be sorry for this. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is weird unless we let it be weird, right?”

Charles really fucking listened to what Max said.

“What is this website called, then?”

“I don’t think-” Charles hesitated, “That you should read any stories with you in it.”

What?

“Why not? You’ve read them about yourself. Even in the last year.”

“And I’ve read about… it doesn’t usually come up- because most of it happened before I was famous- but I’ve read about some version of me… mourning the deaths of people I loved. I started reading a long time ago, so I did not want to stop, and usually it does not come up, but sometimes… sometimes it is a lot. And my father and Anthoine- the people did not know much about them. Probably there are more stories about Anthoine now- after what I said- but I would not look. But… your life is so public. Which, I am so sorry.”

“People know about my dad. He… would be in stories about me.”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t just say to avoid new stories. Probably he is the bad guy in many stories.”

“Some stories would not be so nice to him, yes. But these are people who did not know him.”

They probably didn’t think that differently than people who did know him.

Christian had practically tried to ‘save’ Max from his dad. Trying to exclude his dad from the paddock for Max’s own good. Like Christian would only have good motivations there.

It was hard to see all of his dad sometimes. The whole person.

People were never only one thing.

Max could want to do some things- many things- differently, and still not think his dad was everything wrong.

“It’s not his fault I’m a jackass,” Max said.

“What? I don’t think you are a jackass.”

“A lot of people do.”

“People who know you don’t.”

“Checo does.”

“You know that is different. It is not fun being the number two driver when we all want to win. I am sure he does not really think you are a jackass.”

“I hope you beat Checo tomorrow,” Max confessed. “You won’t beat me, of course.”

“Thank you, Max. I will try very hard. We are… okay?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Okay… Try to… get some sleep, okay?”

Like Max would have more trouble sleeping than Charles. Max could sleep anywhere anytime.

“Of course. Oh, I got the Secret Santa gift. Thank you.”

Charles laughed softly, “I had fun with that. I will, of course, have your real present for you later.”

“Same for you. Goodnight,” Max said.

That was something Max would have to worry about later.

Max jerked off without porn or anything else.

Except his thoughts. Which were more effective, and more dangerous.

It was one of the best orgasms he could remember, and it came from just his own hand.

*****Max*****

Max won.

And Charles stood on the second step.

Checo on the third, but that didn’t honestly matter to Max. Charles was second in the WDC. He seemed happy about it. Happier than Max had seen him on a podium that was not a win.

He looked… beautiful.

Which, of course he did. That was just fact. Charles was beautiful. And handsome also.

Max could see them all from the podium.

All of his family that came, and Pascale, and Arthur. They just all stood together, looking happy. Most of them had hugged both Charles and Max already soon after they got out of the cars. Mila liked Charles’s race suit.

He swapped helmets with Seb after.

“You should with Charles instead,” Max said instantly. Seb was the teammate Charles was most attached to. Max understood it, even if he wasn’t quite the same with any of his past teammates, even Daniel. Charles looked up to Sebastian.

“I have done many helmet swaps over the years. Charles has my last helmet with Ferrari. I want you to have this one. Maybe one day they will sit next to each other. This is very arrogant of me to be thinking of myself in this.”

At least they were alone.

“I will get Victoria for the picture,” Max said instead of responding to any of that.

There was a Red Bull party, even though it was not more than a normal race win, since both championships had been won a long time ago.

It was also the end of season celebration.

Even though the season was not really over, because Max would be back in the same car in a day and a half.

And, other than the mandatory two week shutdown, the whole team did not ever really stop.

Max went to the Red Bull party, but only had two drinks.

Even Victoria had more than him.

Pascale texted him after the kids were asleep.

Probably they had napped through at least half the race- or Mila at least. Probably on Pascale or maybe Arthur if he was with them.

Max went back to his hotel room.

With the good sound proofing.

He didn’t even bother looking up porn, but he had a good time.

Chapter Text

Usually for the day after the season, Max would sleep in and then go explore the city or something a bit. Eat a lot of good food, and drink even early in the day, and not worry about his weight. Because if he managed to get over the driver weight limit in one day, Red Bull would deal with it. They had data and simulations to account for his weight.

Usually the season felt more over than this.

Usually he was not so much worried about his safety stepping outside of the very protected hotel and paddock.

Usually everyone did not know he liked men in a place that that was illegal.

Max was still lying in bed awake when texts started coming through. After the third one, he was sure it would be Charles.

Charles: Would you like to take the kids to Ferrari World?

Charles: I have passes to skip lines. 

Charles: I went on Thursday for an hour for media things, and I was given lots of passes to come back. 

Charles: This woman who worked there was very kind.

Charles: She told me all of the things for children.

Charles: And we would have bodyguards.

Charles: I am sorry that Luka is not also with Victoria, because he would love it. But maybe next year. He will be taller then too. 

Charles: I had a small incident where some people yelled at me, but the organizers kicked them out of the park and I got a bodyguard.

Charles: I understand if that is not something you want.

Charles: Or maybe you would rather do something more relaxed.

Charles: We could get a boat?

Charles: Or maybe you have other plans.

Charles: Or maybe you want to have no plans.

Max smiled at each text that came through.

Not smiling at Charles being harassed, but at least it wasn’t worse.

If the kids were ever going to go anywhere with him, he couldn’t guarantee that wouldn’t happen. Even before coming out. He had been yelled at by plenty of Hamilton fans before, and Checo fans, and Ferrari fans. Actually, that should possibly be a higher concern at Ferrari World, but there would probably be a lot of general F1 fans, and not nearly as many devoted Italians as at Monza.

Are the kids tall enough to ride anything?

Charles: Yes! The family zone has so many rides. He can I am sure ride the Formula Rossa Junior. It is a little version of their big ride. 

Charles: I believe Mila is tall enough as well. Ninety centimeters shoes on.

Charles: And the same height for they call it Speedway Race.

Charles: And besides the big rides, there are lots of games and things. Rope ladders and other things to play on. 

Charles: Could Jaxx 105cm with shoes on? If he is, there are more he can ride. But I think there is enough for them to have a lot of fun.

Charles: And I think Jaye could ride everything except the big rollercoaster.

Charles: If she is able to come.

Sounds good.

Charles: I am counting ten people. Is that enough? Or maybe not everyone is coming?

I’ll ask them and let you know.

*****Max*****

“I cannot believe you wore a Ferrari shirt,” Charles complained at Arthur. 

“We are going to Ferrari World. Of course I am wearing a shirt no one can buy. I win.”

“How does that mean you win?” Charles shot back. The literal Ferrari F1 driver. 

“Everyone can buy your MacDo shirt.”

“It is not McDonald! And your shirt is exactly same!”

“No, no, see Ferrari Driver Academy? This is unique.”

“The red and black are exactly the same.”

“But mine is better because no one can buy this,” Arthur insisted with a smile. Comfortable with who he was, and not insecure because of his brother’s success, and comfortable being an annoying brat, because everyone who mattered would still love him.

“I could buy that shirt today if I wanted to,” Max cut in.

“No, you could not!” Arthur insisted.

“I would go to Mick and say let me have this for one euro. Please. Actually, I could go to any person in the Ferrari Academy and say ‘If you let me buy this, it will prove Arthur wrong. And I would give them more than one euro, of course.”

“That does not count. You are Max Verstappen. Most people here cannot find a Ferrari Academy driver to bribe.”

“I think you are upset you are wrong,” Max taunted back. 

“I will get Ferrari shirts for the kids,” Arthur said like it was a threat. 

“I’m sure they would like that,” Max answered calmly.

“Arthur would not post any pictures of the kids without your permission,” Charles insisted to one of them. “And no pictures wearing Ferrari clothes.”

Red Bull would appreciate that. As for pictures of them in other clothes, there were already pictures of the kids on the internet. On his dad’s instagram. Instagram didn’t go away when the person died. Jules’s instagram was still there. Kelly often put P on her social media. Max didn’t have an opinion. Probably it was inevitable for them to be recognized by the super fans, and that was true even before they were with Max.

Max would try to keep them away from too much in person attention, but they would need to stay inside all the time to avoid it all. 

“I am not worried.”

Jaye, who had been silent at Max’s side, squeezed his hand. “Is it okay I’m wearing Red Bull?” she asked.

There would be many pictures from today probably, no matter what they wore.

“It is perfect,” Max answered. “Though, you can, of course, wear whatever you want any time. Unless your mama says you can’t.”

Jaxx was with Victoria. Max had already heard him ask where Luka was, why he wasn’t there, and if he could come now. Mila started out holding Victoria’s other hand, but she was quickly with Charles. Because it was a long walk, and Mila didn’t like walking. Maybe she found it boring. She didn’t mind running around at home to play. The doctor said she was normal height and weight and motor skills, so probably everything was fine.

At the entrance, an employee showed Charles a probably new sign saying that anyone could be removed for harassing another guest.

Max knew it was there because they could not have something bad happen to a Ferrari driver injured at Ferrari World. He knew that only really prominent people would get bodyguards. Still, it was nice.

They met their bodyguards. Four silent men that were just going to stand around them in case someone bothered them. Max wasn’t sure if they would keep fans away too, or just people who might want to yell at them or worse for liking men. 

It was nice. Weird. People looked at them, and many people waved or took pictures, but no one came near, not even fans. Max decided he could relax and let the professionals do their job, and tune out a crowd like he usually tried to do. It was even easier than normal, since no one came up to him with their phone in his face or something for him to sign. Which he did not usually mind a few, especially from kids, but it was a lot, especially when he was trying to enjoy private time with family.

Really, the extra protection probably made it a more normal experience for the kids. Except the kids were probably used to things being not normal with their dad being famous where they lived. But it was nice.

They did the kid roller coaster, the Formula Rossa Junior. They didn’t need whatever skip the line wristbands or whatever Charles had for them, because the bodyguards converged and took care of it. Mila was tall enough and decided to go. Maybe she figured that Jaxx was excited, so it had to be good. Maybe she just didn’t want Charles to put her down. Max shouldn’t let Charles carry her any longer just because he wouldn’t complain.

Max and Jaye rode in the front, then Victoria and Jaxx, then Charles and Mila. Arthur rode with a bodyguard, and none of the others rode, so at least regular people got to be on most of the ride.

“Time for the real one?” Arthur asked as soon as they stepped off.

“You can go, and Charles and whoever wants to go,” Max said.

“I rode it on Thursday, I am fine,” Charles answered.

“I’ll go with you,” Victoria volunteered.

“Oh, I would always love the company of a beautiful woman,” Arthur declared.

“Stop flirting with my sister. She is not single, and neither are you,” Max protested, even though Arthur was just doing the harmless flirting, and Victoria enjoyed it. Max was just playing his part as well.

“I will go too,” Max’s mother decided.

“Two beautiful women,” Arthur added. “And no lines?”

Max complaining about flirting with his mother would just make Arthur happier, so Max didn’t complain.

“Take a bodyguard,” Charles urged. “I don’t want someone thinking you are me.”

“I don’t think someone will confuse the most handsome Leclerc brother for you.”

Max knew looks were subjective, but Arthur was clearly the least handsome Leclerc brother.

Max felt bad that Lorenzo wasn’t there. He hoped that watching Max’s animals wasn’t why, because anyone could be paid to do that. Probably he had to work in Monaco sometimes.

“Yes, yes, now take a bodyguard,” Charles insisted, unaffected by Arthur’s teasing. Obviously he had no reason to be insecure about his appearance.

“Only because it is even easier to skip lines. We can ride it so many times,” Arthur agreed. “Does the third lovely lady want to come?” Arthur asked. Max wasn’t even sure who he meant for a moment before he remembered Kelly, Jaye’s mother.

“Am I tall enough?” Jaye asked Max.

“Not for the big one, sorry.

“I will stay with Jaye,” her mother decided.

“Jaxx, you need to hold someone else’s hand when Vicky leaves,” Jaye told him like the big sister she was.

Jaxx came over and grabbed Jaye’s hand that wasn’t holding Max’s. That was good enough.

They let the kids run around in the play area. Max would have suggested it if only to let Charles have a break from carrying Mila. He’d just been in an F1 car the day before, and he’d get back in one in another day.

Max would resent post-season testing being so soon if he didn’t want to just get it out of the way. Of course, he sort of resented having it at all. Not all the time. It was wonderful behind the car. But, if it wasn’t a race, he’d rather have the track to himself, not sharing it with half rookies. “Rookies” who mostly wouldn’t become F1 drivers.

Jaye could do everything in the play area, Mila and Jaxx mostly ran around. But it was nice that they were all in the age range for it.

No one bothered them. Max sat on a bench decorated in Ferrari colors, logos everywhere, and pictures were definitely going to end up on the internet, but it was peaceful.

Probably that was a strange idea of peaceful, when there were kids screaming everywhere, but it was.

They rode some other rides. Everything that Jaxx and Mila were tall enough for at least once. The Formula Rossa Junior four times. They ate good food. Nothing bad happened. It was very peaceful.

They left when Jaxx desperately needed an afternoon nap and refused to take a nap at the park. Which was a a difficult request for a kid. Mila took one, but she could sleep anywhere even better than Max. She slept on Pascale’s shoulder as Pascale sat on a cushioned Ferrari bench, so Max and Charles could run around with Jaxx and Jaye. Arthur and Victoria and Max’s mother came back after probably riding all of the big rides as much as they wanted. It was a good time.

Charles had something with his team to do in the afternoon. Max kept Mila company as Jaxx napped. They played with toys in Max’s room.

They had dinner together, all of them. Max’s mother kept watching him. Mothers always did that, of course, but Max got the impression that it was weird for her, seeing her son take her ex-husband’s kids. He did not exactly ask her if she wanted to be like their grandmother or not. He didn’t talk to her about his decision at all. Basically because she wasn’t on the list of other likely guardians for the kids.

Max’s mother had told him once years ago that he was lucky he was a man, because he could wait and have kids after his racing career was over. Max wondered if she resented him for being born sometimes, even though she stopped racing before she was pregnant. She had decided she wanted to get married and follow around Jos.

That was thinking about one conversation years ago though. And she had been good with P. Of course, P was not her ex-husband’s kid.

Probably Max was reading too much into a few looks.

Max went to bed alone, obviously.

*****Max*****

Max got there early in the morning on post-season testing day, even though he was not running until the afternoon session.

Usually he wouldn’t be awake after partying so late.

They wanted him there early to look at data, but it was also a time with fewer people around and no tv cameras in his face. Something they couldn’t have on a race weekend. Max was taking the kids to sit in the car before someone drove it in the morning. Max wasn’t sure if it would be Checo or Liam, and he didn’t care. It was only his for one more session.

It was a good car.

They put Jaxx in the car first. His mother and Victoria were there too, and Kelly to watch Jaye. He had less trouble of just thinking of Jaye’s mother as Kelly. Which always should have been easy, since he met Kelly long before Kelly Piquet. 

Pascale was in the Ferrari garage, as was Arthur.

Victoria took pictures.

And then more pictures with Max’s helmet carefully placed on Jaxx. Visor closed and open.

Jaxx had been told many times not to press any buttons, and he did a good job. Even though the car was turned off, of course, and nothing would really happen, it was not good to do.

Jaye was next. She was very nice about letting Jaxx go first. She liked being the mature, ‘grown up’ kid. Max had been in competitive karting at her age, but, as far as Max knew, she hadn’t shown interest. And that was her mother’s business to discuss with her if she ever was interested.

Her wide, crooked smile was adorable. Max had not enjoyed his months with braces. Probably she would have them someday, after all her adult teeth grew in, but Max thought it was very cute now. Nothing she needed to correct if she didn’t want to.

Mila got in the car last, because she cared the least.

“Where pony?” Mila asked immediately, touching the center of the steering wheel where there was a horse on Charles’s 2019 Ferrari. That was just great.

“We… visited the Prince of Monaco’s car collection,” Max explained. “Charles’s Ferrari is there, and they got to sit in it.” Which Victoria already knew. “Jaye, the next time you are in Monaco, if he’s there, he can take us there again. He thought you would like it,” Max said so Jaye wouldn’t feel left out.

“The pony has his stable one garage that way,” Victoria joked. Mila definitely didn’t understand.

“Charles?” Mila asked anyway. Maybe she did understand enough.

“Charles is driving right now,” Max informed her.

Jaxx pulled on Max’s arm.

“Why- why-?” Jaxx tried to articulate. “Charles race?”

Ah. “This is only testing, not racing. It is like practice. And everyone cannot go at once. This is Checo’s turn now, and Liam, and we need to let them have the cars.”

“But… Max’s car,” Jaxx complained.

It was cute.

“It is not my car anymore,” Max said simply. “Now it is for Checo and Liam, and this afternoon for me and Liam, and then just Red Bull. And they will give me a new car to drive next year. But they keep the cars.” Unless he renegotiated to add a car, but he was sure he wouldn’t like whatever he had to give up. Probably he could get a Toro Rosso easier if he wanted. Probably he could just buy one. If they wanted to keep the one he drove for a year in, maybe they would care less about one he tested in, or the one he drove for four races the next year.

Probably whenever he was retired from Formula One, it would be nice to own a car he could drive sometimes.

Though, Charles would probably let him borrow one of his.

They could book a track day together, and Charles could stick him in the Sauber, but probably he could be convinced to switch for a bit, especially if Max paid for all of the day’s costs- which Max would do anyway, with Charles supplying the cars.

The kids stayed around during the morning session, with their noise canceling headphones on. It was a lot more people than would be allowed on a normal day, but there wasn’t any tv crew, and no pit stop had to be done super quickly, or anything like that. Probably Max was more distracted than he would be if they weren’t there, but also it was just post-season testing. Two days after the last race. There was nothing new. It was only interesting for the people switching teams (and Nico coming back) or the three actual rookies for next year. And a little bit interesting for the “rookies” that were not really going to be rookies, at least not next year. And even for all of that, it was just testing. Really, they could eliminate it and add more preseason testing with the new car that was actually useful to someone.

He could complain about testing, but driving was still fun, every time.

It was a little better than a normal free practice. They did not have to worry anymore about wear or damage- though of course he would feel very stupid to crash in testing, and he did not want to get hurt, even more in such a pointless session. But it was nice. Relaxed.

And they could leave after it was over. Well, after one meeting after testing was over. They could spend one more night- Charles probably would to get better sleep- unless he wanted to get out of the country, which would also be understandable.

Actually, probably Charles would stay to watch Arthur do his F2 testing.

Max told Pascale she could definitely stay if she wanted, and Ferrari would for sure give her a ride home. She said she was okay leaving with the kids. Max knew she tried not to watch her boys drive. All of the Leclerc brothers seemed to know well that they were loved and supported, so she was definitely doing many things right.

Maybe Max should have offered to take his family and Pascale somewhere else nearby. Somewhere interesting for a vacation. Instead, Victoria had set up hotel rooms in Nice for her and their mother, and for Jaye and her mother, and they would go the rest of the way back to their homes the next day. And Max, Pascale, and the kids would go back to Monaco and finish the night in their own beds.

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Winter break was always disorienting. So much time. The freedom to put on a few kilos, as long as he was willing to do the work to quickly shed them before the season started.

It didn’t really feel like the season was over.

Maybe because he still had the Prize Giving ahead. And a few meetings and probably a sponsor thing that he had gotten to ignore before. Even in Abu Dhabi when he was apparently deemed stable enough that he was expected to shake hands with sponsors that came to the garage and motor homes, they did not bother him too much. This was one of the bigger sponsor things that should have been done already though. At least it involved driving a car.

Max didn’t remember what he felt like this time last year. Except that he was just so in disbelief that he was World Driver Champion, even days after. He did a lot more partying for sure. Probably there are some hours Max did not remember because of that.

Max sim raced more.

Sometimes with Jaxx on his new little sim next to Max. The camera wouldn’t face Jaxx when Max was streaming, but he could be heard in the background, playing whatever he liked. Which was usually F1 22. A copy Max was given when it came out, not the one Charles gave him, which was on a shelf in Max’s closet.

Jaxx enjoying it without too much setup help made Max appreciate the Formula One games more. Which was good, because EA was talking to Max about sponsorship. Which meant EA was talking to Raymond, but Max knew about it. It would be good if Max could say more than that he liked FIFA. He would not let Jaxx be in a brand deal, of course. Unless he wanted it when he was older. Max didn’t know what age that would be. 

Charles came by the same day he got back from Abu Dhabi.

He walked directly over to the couch and sprawled on it. Exhausted like he hadn’t been sitting all day. Max understood though. Travel was exhausting in ways that didn’t make sense.

King jumped up on the couch and proceeded to lick Charles’s face, which made Charles and both the kids laugh. And maybe Max as well.

The kids were climbing over Charles as much as the dog. Probably not best for someone who wanted to relax, but he looked energized from it anyway.

The kids had both asked where Charles was in the last couple days. When Max answered that Charles was still in Abu Dhabi, they didn’t understand why they weren’t there too.

“How did Arthur do in testing?” Max asked. Max had already looked at all of the publicly available data from it, but that wasn’t much. Charles would have seen more at the track.

“Very good, I think,” Charles answered. “You know how you can never know from testing, but I think he did well. Day one he was mostly learning, of course, but by the end of day two, he was very fast, and in day three. And no crashes, so I think that is all you can want from rookie testing.”

“Good, yeah. Tell him I said good job.”

“You can text him yourself. I know you have his number. He would like it, I’m sure,” Charles added.

Fine.

“Yeah, alright. Are you okay buried in kids over there?”

“Lovely,” Charles said what was sort of seen as Max’s catch phrase. He didn’t say it that often, he thought, but it was fun to have something like that.

“Did you come straight here from the airport?” Max asked.

“I dropped my bags at home. I thought it would be rude to show up with them.”

“Pretty foolish of you, because your mother is doing the laundry over here. Unless you also are bringing your laundry to her. I did tell her I could do my own laundry, but she just does it,” Max added. He didn’t want to sound lazy, maybe. Like he was misusing her time.

“No, I do my own laundry, but I did ask her today if I could have her cooking. She said her cooking was over here. I thought she would be, but no?”

Oh.

“No, she was here earlier when I was on the sim. I told her she does not have to come as much in the winter.”

“She does not mind. She would be alone at home more, and that is not so fun. I am glad she was coming here.”

If she wasn’t coming here, she would still be working as a hair dresser. She just dropped that part of her life for Max and the kids. Of course, if she wanted to fit some hours there, she could. Max didn’t know how hours of being a hairdresser worked.

Probably Charles didn’t like his empty apartment, he had basically said before. Probably part of why he was at Max’s so often. Not just because Max clearly needed the help. And Charles enjoyed it.

“You can stay the night if you want,” Max mentioned. “I did say you could whenever.” That had happened, hadn’t it?

“Thanks. I am too tired to move,” Charles groaned exaggeratedly.

Jaxx took that as cue to tickle him. And Mila, though Max wasn’t sure either of them knew how to tickle effectively, but they were giggling over it, clearly a game they knew. Charles allowed it until he gave a fake roar and stood up, scooping a kid under each arm. The kids shrieked and laughed louder. King bounced around Charles’s ankles. “Take one little monster?” Charles offered. 

Max took Mila by her ankles, and she managed to shriek louder. 

“Do you want to fly?” Max asked. 

Max remembered his dad playing that with Victoria when Max had gotten too big. He remembered being jealous. But he could fly in a kart.

“Fly!” Mila answered. 

Max spun around, swinging her by her legs. 

Some people would probably say it wasn’t safe, but Max wasn’t going to drop her, and legs were sturdier than arms at least.

“Fly! Fly, Charles!” Jaxx asked.

Each time Max made it around, he saw Charles copying him. Until he wasn’t. 

“Jaxx? What’s wrong?” Charles gently lowered Jaxx to the ground and Jax sat up. Charles sat in front of him. “Where does it hurt?” Charles asked calmly. 

Jaxx was crying. But he shook his head.

“Does anything hurt at all?” Charles asked again. Jaxx shook his head.

Max sat next to them, Mila in his lap. She didn’t understand what was happening but might start crying any minute. 

“Papa would make you fly,” Max said. It wasn’t a difficult guess for him. “And you miss Papa.”

Jaxx nodded. He leaned forward into Charles, and Charles accepted him easily. Charles briefly made eye contact with Max before resettling Jaxx better into his lap. 

“It is good to cry,” Charles said wisely, rubbing Jaxx’s back.

Max kissed the top of Mila’s head and checked her face. She wasn’t quite crying. 

“Ik hou van jou,” Max told them. He didn’t tell the kids that he loved them enough, probably. He needed to say it every day. He was what they had. And he needed to reach out more often to other family. The kids had talked to Jaye and to Victoria and Luka over Zoom, but Max hadn’t talked to Sandy’s family since the funeral except for a few very functional emails. Max wasn’t really sure if the kids recognized any of Sandy’s family, but Max would work on it. The kids liked people. They could like more people too.

Mila started crying, and Max just held her. It wasn’t close to the first time the kids had cried with Max. Max hoped it helped. 

They just sat there until Jaxx stopped crying. “See my sim,” Jaxx announced. He grabbed Charles’s hand and started walking towards the sim room, so Charles followed. 

Mila stopped crying pretty much when Jaxx did. Max picked her up and followed. 

Charles knew everything about the sim already, because it was not very complicated, and he had sent Max the link for it, and he had seen pictures of Jaxx in it already. Charles listened anyway with obvious attention as Jaxx pointed to different parts and said their names “Wheel, seat, twottle, break, screen.” Charles smiled like Max did at ‘twottle’. Jaxx had heard Max call it the throttle, and ‘th’ sounds were a little tricky. Jaxx could say them in some words. His pronunciation was very good for most things. Probably Max could work with him and he’d get it. But he was three and a half, and it was cute. 

Mila was tired or she wouldn’t have put up with watching Jaxx drive his little sim for as long as she did. 

“Dinner?” Max suggested when she got restless. Jaxx wouldn’t play for that long at once anyway. And he needed someone’s help to navigate through any part that was not just driving. Pascale had gotten good at it when Max was on the sim. 

They had dinner that Pascale had cooked and refrigerated for them. 

They put Lightyear on. In Dutch with French subtitles at Charles’s request. Charles promised that he would say when his cameo was happening so they could switch to Italian to hear him. Assuming the kids made it that far into the movie. 

Mila didn’t make it very far. She fell asleep leaning against Charles not very long into the movie. She hadn’t had a nap. Hopefully she slept through the night. They’d have to wake her up to get ready for bed before putting her there. 

There was a lesbian couple in the film. Not the main character, but one of them was an important character, and she was engaged to a woman, and then later married to that woman. The main character saw pieces of her life over the years. They had a son. She had a good life.

That wasn’t the sort of thing that would be in a big budget kids movie when Max was a kid.

Jaxx didn’t even notice that anything was unusual about it. 

Jaxx made it to Charles’s scene. 

Max couldn’t tell how well Charles did for sure. Definitely not as bad as the Shell ad. And it didn’t really matter. He was a security guard who said a few words.

They paused and listened to it a few times, and when Jaxx understood it was Charles he looked with amazement as Charles repeated his line. Charles was definitely not a good actor, but that was okay.

“Time for bed,” Max announced. He didn’t need one kid with much more sleep than the other, because if one was going to wake up early, probably they would both wake up early.

They woke up Mila and got both kids ready for bed. 

Max was really going to lose his partying reputation. He and Charles got ready for bed after they put the kids in their room. 

*****Max*****

Charles left in the morning after the walk with King and having breakfast with them- eggs and toast that Max did not ruin. Maybe the eggs weren’t the perfect consistency, but they were fine. Charles ate some and didn’t complain, and Jaxx didn’t ask for Pascale, so probably they were fine.

As soon as Charles left, he texted Max asking if he wanted to take the kids back to the kart track the next day. Smart to not say that in front of the kids. Max agreed easily. 

Pascale came that afternoon and Max streamed. Jaxx wanted to say hello to the stream, so Mila did too. Jaxx also wanted Pascale to say hello to the stream, so she did.

Max wasn’t looking at the chat, but sometimes one of the guys would read something nice.

Max put the kids to bed that night, went on his sim a bit longer, but went to bed before it was too late. And the extra time was good for ensuring that the kids were very very asleep before Max went to his bedroom, locked the door, and put on some white noise just in case.

Max cleaned himself up after, glad of his own bathroom. He unlocked his door, crawled into bed, and went to sleep easily.

*****Max*****

Charles picked them up for karting like he did the first time. Max didn’t tell the kids about it until Charles was already driving over. 

It was a work and school day during the day, so instead of races there was less organized track time. Jaxx could just drive and drive and not have a string of kids in front of and behind him. It was not very busy, so Jaxx was not passed too often. And when he was tired of it, he drove the little Ferrari ride on toy. 

Mila seemed happy riding it.

There was a ‘pony’ in the middle of the steering wheel, which she liked pointing out.

Tom repeated his self-appointed bodyguard duties. Arthur kept him company. 

Charles went a bit further away from them for a while and signed whatever someone handed him and took pictures with whoever wanted them.

Philippe was with him. 

Which was a silly thing for Max to note. They were perfectly safe. Nothing bad was going to happen to Charles here. Nothing more than some angry yells had happened even in Abu Dhabi, and Charles could handle that. Max was still glad Philippe was with him. 

Lorenzo talked to Melanie, who Max met. Her son wasn’t there. Probably at school.

When the kids were in real school they wouldn’t be able to just pick up everything and fly with Max to a race. Well, some schools were very flexible, Max knew. But it would be weird to take advantage of that for parent travel. Though, maybe eventually they would be missing for their own activities at some point. Maybe by then Max would be racing less often. He couldn’t picture not doing anything, but he could do something with a smaller calendar. And less media.

Max also met Christine, Jules’s mother, who went between different conversations. She seemed very nice. Max remembered her publicly saying something kind when the halo saved Romain’s life. The racing world was small, and the French racing world even smaller. And Romain was only a few years older. They raced together for a year or two before F1, and they would have known each other much longer.

Philippe offered to loan the little Ferrari driving car to them until the kids outgrew it. It could be a Christmas gift. Or he could keep it at the track for them, to keep them coming back to see him.

The older man did a lot of smiling and arm around shoulders, but no one asked if Charles and Max were dating. No one in person. Max got a text from Lando.

Technically Lando also did not exactly ask.

And Lando was an idiot.

*****Max*****

“Those stories about you being a prince. You could maybe be one,” Max said that night in bed.

“What?” Charles asked.

“The prince of Monaco seems to like you. He said you inspired him to come out. As gay.”

“The Prince of Monaco is gay?”

“You’re really that surprised?”

“Bisexual would not, but he is known to have been with many women. I- guess it was for appearances, but he has had children with multiple women-”

“Not that Prince. His son. The model.” It was Monaco’s fault for calling their highest royal a prince instead of a king.

“Oh… Unfortunately, Alexandre does not hold the title of prince. Which is an old system because the prince did not marry his mother. There is much old in Monaco.”

“Well, his dad’s still worth like a billion euros, so he’ll probably be rich. And maybe with the prince’s son… they might really change the laws about gay marriage. Because of you. And he seems to like you.”

Lando had made that part clear in his text.

If you don’t ask him out, someone else will.

Max already knew that Charles would not be always single. Lando was of course an idiot.

And Charles was practically Monegasque royalty already.

“That is… incredible. I would be so happy to see that change.”

“Are you going to say anything to him?”

“To Alexandre? I will look on twitter and say something public.”

“I think he has a crush.”

“I- that would be sweet, but I would not encourage it. He is only eighteen. I- am too old for him. Or… I should say he is too young for me. Nothing would be wrong with it for some people, but it is not for me.”

“You could probably marry some princess from somewhere else. Maybe a prince.”

“I do not know why you think this, but I will take it as a compliment. I do not want to be a prince. Or prince consort.”

“Well, apparently you wouldn’t be for marrying Monaco’s prince’s son. You’d just be really rich.”

“I do not need more money than I have.”

“Alright.”

“Thank you for letting me know. It is wonderful news for the people of Monaco, and the world.”

“I think you’ll get questions at your next interview, so I thought you should know.”

“Thank you,” Charles repeated.

Max was still sure Charles would make a good prince.

*****Max*****

The third day Charles came over, it felt like he was intentionally coming every other day. Like Charles had a schedule. He would come during the day, spend the night, and leave in the morning after their walk and breakfast.

The third day was like the first. Nothing big planned.

They decorated the Christmas tree.

Max had gotten one delivered the day before, but they hadn’t actually decorated it then. He wanted to see how the animals handled it first. He got an artificial one, because the animals seemed less likely to bother it to climb or piss on.

It could go into the closet that Kelly used to keep P’s baby things in. Max wasn’t using it for anything, so it could be Christmas things. Max hadn’t bothered decorating before, maybe because he was never in Monaco for Christmas- and he was not planning to be for this year either, but the kids would enjoy a tree. Fortunately, the animals did not seem to care about the strange new thing in the house.

“Do you want to make kerstkransjes? The um… edible things that go on the tree?” Charles asked when the lights were up. Not saying ‘cookie’ in case Max said no. Or maybe he would say ‘biscuit’.

Max had never made kerstkransjes in his life. He did not know anyone who put them on a Christmas tree. It was probably a lot of work, and probably they were not good to eat by Christmas.

“I think King might take too much interest in the tree if it smelled like food. Sorry.”

They finished Lightyear, starting where they stopped with the scene with the security guard. They did it again in Italian, explaining that was Charles until Mila seemed to understand too. Jaxx tried mimicking the lines, and it sounded okay to Maxx. Mila tried too, of course.

“You do not need to learn another language. We are already trying to add French,” Max said.

The rest of the movie was very different from the first part. And it had a twist that Max was not expecting. It did not feel like it was only for little kids, but Pixar was good at that in a few that Max had seen.

Charles still used the child sized panda toothbrush. After he helped Mila with her pony toothbrush, or Jaxx with his lion one.

“Do you want any help for Sinterklaas?” Charles asked when they were in bed. Max wasn’t actually sure if Sinterklaas the holiday was common knowledge or not, but he did not think so. Clearly from the kerstkransjes, Charles had been googling Dutch Christmas traditions.

Sinterklaas, the holiday and the fictional character, weren’t a big deal in Max’s family when Max was growing up. Leave out the shoes, get candy in the shoes. And one bigger gift. There were more gifts for them on actual Christmas.

“We already have the tree up. Victoria picked gifts for the kids, and one each is marked for Sinterklaas. And a bag of candy for the shoes.”

“So… you will do it here? And no one is flying here?” Charles asked.

“Grandmother likes Christmas more. So we would always go there then. I- think we will fly there for Christmas, but Sinterklaas was always small.”

“So… no mean poems?”

Charles had done a lot of googling.

“Can you picture my dad writing a poem?”

It didn’t hurt to say. Maybe the dark helped.

“I wouldn’t know how to write a mean poem. I mean… not that I would have to. If it is a small family thing.”

“Friends are very common for Sinterklaas. I don’t think Jaxx remembers last December. It can be whatever we want. Maybe no mean poems.”

“I tried making speculaas, but I learned that almond paste and almond butter are not the same thing. But I could not find almond paste, but now some is coming from the Netherlands. And… also some banketletters, because those looked hard to make. And Chocolate letters.”

Fuck.

He was fucking perfect.

It wasn’t actually a revelation. It was obvious to see the ways Charles fit in their lives. And he liked men, so it was something that could be potentially considered. Max just didn't usually let himself dwell on it. Just because Charles could like some men didn't mean he could like Max. Didn't mean it would go well and be worth it.

Charles was not actually perfect. Max could have listed a dozen problems with him some other time- he just couldn’t think of them at the moment. None that were dealbreakers for sure.

And Charles was always around.

Inserting himself into a holiday he did not grow up familiar with.

And Charles’s family was okay with it. And Max’s family seemed to be too.

None of them treated any of this like it was weird.

“Did you get a ‘C’ for yourself?” Max asked.

“Yes. I ordered a lot of them. I thought it was a nice thing, even if you wanted Sinterklaas to just be you and the kids. Or, even if you flew back to the Netherlands or Belgium.”

“We will just stay here. You and your family are invited, of course,” Max said, in case that was not already established.

“Thank you.”

The only thing that had Max hesitating from doing something was that this relationship was too important to fuck up. Charles and Pascale were vital to their lives. He didn’t want the kids’ lives to change again. Well, it was not the only thing. Also he didn’t have any fucking idea what to do. How to do this with a man. How to do this with Charles. He needed a plan at least. A very well thought out plan. But mostly there was the not wanting to disrupt their lives.

“Your mother is happy working for me?” Max checked. “She could have more money if she wants.”

“She would do it for no money. Except she should make money because she will not take mine. But she loves them like her own grandchildren.”

“What happens when she actually has her own grandchildren?”

“Then she will love them too. She can love lots of children. Though, between you and me, I think that would be a long wait. I mean, Arthur thinks he will marry Carla one day, but they are still so young, especially Carla. She is still only nineteen. And Lorenzo is not looking for anyone right now.”

“What about you?”

“I- am not looking to make children any time soon. I am very happy with my life. I am exactly where I want to be.”

“Right now? Because this-”

“Yes. I am very happy right now.”

That was a lot to say. 

And Max could say it too.

It didn’t make sense to be this happy, objectively.

His girlfriend broke up with him less than two months ago. And his dad died. He got custody of two kids who had lost both parents. There was probably a lifetime ahead of all of them, Max definitely included, being kinda fucked up over that, and Max had the job of parenting them through that.

And Charles was exactly where he wanted to be.

“Are you okay?” Charles asked. Probably Max was quiet for too long. 

“Mostly,” Max said honestly.

“I am here, you know? For talking, or anything that will help?”

“I know.”

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Max needed a present for Charles.

Multiple presents for Charles.

Something for Sinterklaas, something for Christmas, something for the kids to give him.

And he did not want to ask Victoria or his mother for help. And they were the ones who always picked out the gifts he gave.

He could also ask Pascal. It sounded easier and more effective than asking his mother or Victoria.

But that was cheating. Which… Max was not actually opposed to most sorts of cheating. Not the cheating on a girlfriend, obviously. Or theoretical boyfriend. But usually he wouldn’t be opposed to a short cut. A thing to make him look thoughtful without any work.

Max had bought some gifts for some people before, of course. He usually defaulted to some expensive alcohol. But Charles didn’t need expensive things.

“Jaxx, what gift do you think we should get for Charles?”

He was not above asking the children. Something would be from then anyway.

And if one of the kids spoiled it, Charles would just find it charming.

“We- we get Charles a sim,” Jaxx declared.

Probably Max should have expected it.

“Charles already has a sim,” Max told him.

Jaxx frowned, “Where?”

Ah. Like he expected it to be at their place.

“It is at Charles’s apartment. Where he is right now.”

“If- if- he had a sim here … he could race here,” Jaxx made his argument. Honestly, it was an impressive argument.

“We cannot get him a sim. I am trying to think of something smaller. Mila, what do you think we should get Charles?”

“Pony.”

Ah.

“Ponies are very big. What is something smaller than a pony?”

Honestly, it was impressive for her just answering the question.

“A dog!” Jaxx answered for her.

“We do not need another dog right now,” Max answered without even thinking.

The correct answer was that animals were bad gifts, because giving someone a surprise big responsibility was not a good idea. Max’s answer was bad because he assumed Charles’s dog would live with them. Which… maybe betrayed too much of his thinking ahead of himself. Very ahead.

“Let’s see what the internet says,” Max decided. To move away from that conversation. As if the toddlers were going to notice there was anything unusual going on. Probably they already thought Charles lived with them, he just had to go away for work a lot, or something like that.

He retrieved his laptop, so he could sit on the couch next to Mila. Jaxx climbed up to his other side.

‘Gifts for men’ he typed into google.

An ad was the first thing. From LEGO. Which was not what Max would have expected, but it was not a terrible idea. Something either Ferrari or Harry Potter.

Though probably those small pieces were not safe for children.

Which… technically was not relevant since Charles could do it and keep it at his own place. Max would think about it.

The next link was a list of a lot of items. That was more what Max was looking for.

Or not. Outdoor pizza oven. That was stupid for someone with an apartment.

Coffee maker. Charles did not need that. He did not need an Apple watch or Kindle. Because he already had something he read on, and he had any number and kind of fancy watches he wanted.

There were many clothes on the list. Max wouldn’t know how to buy Charles clothes.

Alcohol was boring.

A drone. Max was not sure if Charles had a drone or not. Probably he would like it. Maybe he would like to pick out his own. It went on the maybe list with the LEGOs.

A grill. Probably that was not allowed on a balcony.

Max had never been to Charles’s place. He knew it was an apartment, and in Monaco it would almost certainly have a balcony. But maybe it was made of metal or something that could have a grill, Max didn’t know if grills were allowed on any sort of balconies. He had never used a grill. And he had never been to Charles’s apartment. He had been to Daniel’s, and Lando’s, but not Charles’s. Because they had only started being real friends with Charles a few weeks ago.

Massage gun. Probably if Charles wanted one he had one.

More watches.

Socks.

The ones on the list were boring fancy socks, but fun socks could be good. That was not the pressure of picking out normal clothes. And a Sinterklaas present especially did not have to be big. They made up the rules. And it made some sense when they put the gifts with and in the person’s shoes. 

Harry Potter socks maybe?

Max found and ordered some quickly. A set with different patterns. Max even knew that Charles put himself in Gryffindor.

Max quickly skimmed through the rest of the list.

He was better at gift giving than this list.

Most of this stuff was either useless or Charles would already have, probably a better version of it.

Of course, probably most people were not shopping for multi-millionaires who lived in a Monaco apartment.

And then there was a picture frame. Max hesitated on it.

It was a digital picture frame, so lots of pictures could go on it and cycle through.

Maybe the list wasn’t shit.

Most of the list was shit. Max couldn’t buy Charles boxer briefs… could he? No, probably not. Unless they were funny in some way.

Or unless things were different before Christmas.

If he picked underwear for someone, he wasn’t going to do it with the kids watching.

The rest of the list was shit. But probably that was how the list was supposed to work. Maybe most people could be inspired by two things on the list and that was enough. And maybe the drone thing had potential. Or a remote controlled something at least. Maybe several of them for the kids too. Not the very competitive intensive RC cars, just something that could withstand crashing into each other. Maybe little RC boats or helicopters if they didn’t want cars. Max would wait to buy those until the kids weren’t watching.

“Do you want to pick socks for Charles?” Max asked. “What kind do you think?”

Hopefully it would be easy for the kids to pick with a category like that, and it could really be from them.

“Red,” Jaxx said.

Which was very impressive to answer and relate Charles to red.

“Do you want there to be any pictures on the red socks? Like… a red car?” Max suggested.

“Lightning McQueen!” 

That would work.

Max found some Lightning McQueen socks, let Jaxx pick among the options, and bought them. With expedited shipping. He’d been doing a lot of expedited shipping lately. Well, not only lately. He was rich. But several things in the last week.

Max gave Mila some more help, bringing up pictures to choose from before asking.

“What do you like, Mila?”

Mila pointed at socks with horses. Max sort of cheated harder because nothing with horses came up in the first search, so he specifically searched for socks with horses. But Mila was happy, and Charles would love them.

Max saw some socks that actually made the person’s feet look like horse feet. It made him think of Arthur letting Jaxx ride on his back. Even though in that case Arthur was being a car, not a horse. Max bought them anyway. That would mean he needed to find a gift for Lorenzo and Pascale as well, which maybe he already needed to do. And probably giving Pascale a large Christmas bonus was not enough.

Max found and bought a pair of socks with hair cutting things on them. Scissors, comb, the hair dryer. If he found something better, he could replace it.

What did Max know about Lorenzo? Other than that he was an incredible big brother. Most of his instagram posts were of Charles or Arthur. Or remembering Jules or his dad. His second dad. Sometimes he was karting or on a boat. He did seem to like boats.

They lived in a waterfront city, everyone liked boats when it was not winter. Some people would be out still. Maybe Charles went out on the days he did not come over. Max bought some socks with boats on them and called it good.

Gift shopping wasn’t that difficult. And expedited shipping was good.

*****Max*****

Charles definitely had a schedule.

“It is too cold to take them on a boat, yes?”

Max smiled at the question.

“I think you are more the expert,” Max said. Max liked boats. He liked drinking on boats. Which he would not do while watching a kid on the boat. And he would wear a life jacket to be a good example.

“Probably it is too cold. The water would be cold. There is the beach, but it is not as much fun without going in the water. There is maybe something at the cinema, but the outside one is closed, and that is more fun. And King could come if it was open.”

“You do not have to entertain us, Charles.” Did he have a something special every other visit plan too?

“There is the aquarium! I have not been in a long time.”

Max went once with Kelly and P. She and Kelly went other times. Probably P went with her father sometimes too. 

“It is a good place for kids,” Max acknowledged.

“Where?” Jaxx asked.

“The aquarium,” Max answered. “Do you want to go?”

“Yes,” Jaxx answered, even though he almost certainly didn’t understand what was happening.

“There are fish and turtles, and even sharks,” Max described.

“Can I touch the shark?” Jaxx asked.

“No.”

“Well…” Charles started. “I cannot promise, but I have pet a baby shark there before.

“Baby shark?” Jaxx repeated.

Neither kid immediately burst into the baby shark song, so it seemed safe.

“Yes, a little shark. I hope you can. If there is one in the touching area.”

“Let’s go!” Jaxx urged.

They drove to the aquarium. Max drove them, because he knew where to go and park, and because Charles did not always have to drive them.

Charles spoke to the woman at the ticket window. There was no line waiting. Friday during work and school.

Max didn’t pay much attention to their conversation in French. Until ‘familiale’ came up. A family membership. And Charles instantly started fumbling for words.

It was hilarious.

Max reached for his wallet, “Oui, acheter l’adhésion familiale.” Max knew the word for buy and repeated the word that must mean membership- or possibly a one day ticket, it did not really matter, as long as they could get in. It was probably not quite the right grammar, but the ticket woman clearly knew what he meant.

“Max, we do not need- children this young are even free.”

“Then it gives to the fishies. She was offering a membership, yes? With these things always the membership is something like the price of going twice.”

“Yes, family membership,” the ticket woman said in English. Which was nice of her.

“Merci,” Max answered, because he was having fun. “Les enfants trois et deux ans,” he said, pointing to the kids in turn as he said their ages, and then he handed the woman his card.

“I was going to pay!” Charles objected.

“You were too slow caring about this name of membership.”

There were a lot of words Max didn’t know in what Charles asked her, but he caught ‘supplémentaires’ and ‘tactile’. So Charles was asking if there was an extra charge for touching the things.

The woman said that the ‘bassin tactile’ was closed except for weekends. Charles had barely started his sad convincing face before she kept talking. Making an exception for them, probably.

“Ah, merci,” Charles answered, and handed over his card. And saying he wanted to pay for whatever needed. Paying for them to open the exhibit, basically.

“Can we take pictures?” the woman asked.

“Ah- of me for sure,” Charles offered looking at Max.

Jaxx had already said hello to the stream. Super fans already knew their faces before they were even with Max, and that wasn’t going to stop. They were photographed on walks.

“If I can have all of the pictures and approve the ones you want to post then this is fine.”

Pictures from the aquarium would look good in the picture frame.

“Sixteen euro,” the woman said with a smile.

Charles started arguing that this was not enough or something like that.

“Is there a baby shark?” Max asked over him.

“Yes, two baby sharks right now to touch.”

“Oooh, did you hear that, kids?”

“Yeah!” Jaxx answered.

“Yeah!” Mila echoed a few seconds later. Copying her big brother. 

It was good to have the membership, because they definitely weren’t going to see everything before the kids tired out. Max remembered that the place was big. And there were turtles somewhere.

The touch pools had the baby sharks, and starfish, and the spiky sea urchins. There were crabs, which seemed like an even worse idea to touch. The crabs did not come towards the kid’s hands, and Max was glad. There were sea cucumber, which are animals. Honestly, the kids could be happy touching just the wet rocks.

No one really bothered them through the museum/aquarium. Someone followed them around taking pictures, and two families with small kids asked, and Max and Charles took pictures with them too.

And, when the kids were tired and they needed to leave, Max had a lot of nice photos to flip through, say that any were fine to post, and receive copies in his email. It was a very successful day.

And tired kids with a skipped nap meant an early bedtime.

Charles took King out for a brief break while Max heated up some of the food Pascale left.

Max put on an episode of Babar while they ate, and it was time for getting ready for bed after.

They made it through the first little book but not the second.

It was too early to go to sleep.

Realistically, there was plenty of time for Charles to go home and be in his own place. He definitely wasn’t too tired to go home.

He didn’t really need to stay to take King for a walk when Max and the security guard managed fine on the nights when Charles did not stay over.

“Do you want to watch a race?” Max asked.

“Yes. What do you want?”

“I am behind in watching F2,” Max offered.

“Ah, I have meant to watch more of Arthur’s future competition. I was caught up over the summer, but I have only seen some highlights since then.”

*****Max*****

On the fourth of December, which was evidently Charles’s next scheduled visit, Charles arrived with many bags of things. It was also the day before Sinterklaas eve- which was actually the day of celebration, so Max was not really surprised.

“What is this?” Max asked.

“Ah- gifts. And… for baking? If you would like? I thought it would be fun with the kids?”

It sounded like a giant mess that would probably make bad sweets.

“Sounds good,” Max answered honestly.

If he needed emergency cleaners the next day before people came over, he could obviously afford it. It was not even a holiday for almost anyone in the area.

Jaxx liked cracking eggs and stirring.

Mila liked being held and touching things.

Jaxx was not very good at cracking eggs or stirring.

Mila wanting to be held meant only one adult to manage baking and Jaxx. They took turns.

“This looks much different with almond paste. I think this will work. Now we roll it out flat, and use this to cut the shape, and this part to stamp.”

The kids could mostly do the cutting and stamping.

Max laughed at the windmill shape. Charles got that one, and a star, and a snowflake, and a dog and cat. The dog was the whole body, but the cat was just the face.

“What does the cat say?” Max asked.

“Sassy!” Jaxx called. Like Max wanted to hear the cat talk.

Max laughed, “The cat says ‘miauw,’ yes? Can you say it?”

“Sassy and Jimmy say it better,” Jaxx insisted. Which, Max couldn’t argue with that. “Can you say it, Mila?”

“Miauw,” she copied. So sweet in her little voice.

“Miauw,” Jaxx did as well.

“And what does the dog say?” Max asked.

“Woef!” Jaxx made the deepest noise he could, which was not very deep.

It was even cuter when Mila copied, “Woef!”

“Do people here make the same noise for dogs and cats?” Max asked to Charles.

“Well, maybe accent different, but I think the same, yes.”

“I forget the language, but there was a wow wow, and a bow bow for dogs, and that is just wrong.”

“I think Italian is maybe bau bau?”

“It is wrong.”

Charles laughed, “That is fine. I don’t think any are very like the dog for real.”

“As long as you know woef woef is right. Maybe waf waf for little dogs,” Max imitated.

“Is King a big or little dog?”

“Ah, you will insult him if you think he is not a big tough dog!”

“I would not want to do that.”

“King, are you a big dog?” Max asked the dog by his ankles.

King had been trained not to bark inside and he usually followed it, so he just looked up and panted, but he was doing that before Max said anything. He danced around a little more frantically when Max was giving him attention and saying his name.

“Braaf,” Max praised.

“What does that mean?” Charles asked.

“Good. Like good job, dog, or good boy. Well-behaved. Different than just goed which is also good.”

“Braaf,” Charles tried.

“Good boy, Charles,” Max teased.

Charles jostled his shoulder.

“Come on,” Max coaxed. “Unexpected bath time for the lieverdjes.”

“What is that?” Charles asked.

“Ah, lieverd is like… term of affection, and jes is little, usually for kids. Like little sweethearts.”

“That is nice.”

They got the kids in and out of the bath before the cookies had to come out of the oven.

They were not burned and they were edible. Even decent tasting.

They were fucking hideous and not the shapes they were supposed to be. Maybe the dough was not rolled thin enough. Or they had too much of some ingredient that made them puff up more. But Max would call it a success.

Max put on an episode of Babar and went to clean the kitchen, because it was not bad enough to call emergency cleaners, and he wasn’t going to leave a mess for Pascal.

Charles pushed him away.

“I can listen to Babar,” Charles said. “You need to listen and watch and read. Go!”

Like Max was invested in the plot of the children’s show.

Which was true, of course. And he could use the French practice like the kids.

“Merci.”

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

One of the bags Charles brought had a spare change of clothes. Charles hadn’t done that before. He intended to stay until at least the celebrations that night, clearly.

And he brought a sweater. It had Santa but what looked like an old playstation controller on his face.

“Is it too ‘Santa’ instead of Sinterklaas?” Charles asked.

“That would be silly to matter. Wear whatever you want. And I think these are almost the same thing. The Americans made Sinterklaas into Santa Claus. And made him fat.” The kids were still asleep, or at least they had not opened Max’s door.

“Skinny does make more sense for going down the chimney.”

“Sinterklaas does not go down the chimney. That is the Zwarte Pieten’s job. Or Sooty Piets these days.”

“I… did read about that,” Charles said a bit awkwardly. He had not mentioned that before. He had asked for details of what Max was wanting, and it hadn’t come up, and it didn’t need to.

“Don’t worry about it. We don’t need them.”

Their Sinterklaas celebrations did not need potential blackface like it didn’t need mean poems. Max was very uninterested in debating if Zwarte Pieten were racist. If making them Sooty Piets instead was enough. So that the character was black from the chimney, not back because probably it was based on a black child slave character. Max didn’t really care. Child slavery and any slavery was, of course, very bad, but a made up character from hundreds of years ago was not his problem. Maybe changing it was worse to hide the bad history or something. It was not Max’s job to debate things like this. None of it had ever been a significant part of his childhood. Max didn’t give a shit about what other people did, but it didn’t need to be part of Mila and Jaxx’s childhood either.

Max wasn’t really convinced that Sinterklaas the character or Santa were a good idea either. It felt like lying, which he did not like to lie to important people. Jaxx hadn’t brought up either. Maybe there would be more questions next year about if Sinterklaas or Santa was really real. Probably Max would just say ‘No, but don’t tell other kids.’ But he had a year to decide, probably.

Good food, shoes by the fireplace, candy and presents. Presents that the kids would know were from family and friends. Maybe the shoes by the fireplace didn’t really make sense without some character coming down the chimney. But a lot of Dutch kids put shoes by the heater or whatever they had that wasn’t a fireplace, which did not make any sense already.

“I am supposed to go for tire testing tomorrow,” Charles announced. Probably Max had been quiet for a while. “Well, the test is the seventh, but my flight is tomorrow. Not early. I don’t know if you do anything for Sinterklaas the next morning, or if you want to be alone, or- yeah.”

Sinterklaas was usually celebrated the night of the fifth, Sinterklaasavond the proper name, but some people made the morning or the whole next day special as well. But probably those people didn’t as much celebrate Christmas, which was always bigger in Max’s family. In Max’s family it had really just been candy in the shoes, one gift, and some cookies with a normal dinner for Sinterklaas.

“The night is better anyway. I am leaving tomorrow too, for a sponsor thing. It is driving a car, at least. I thought you would know, because your mother is staying with the kids. She mentioned to me you were leaving for the tire test.”

Probably Max should have told Charles. He thought Pascale would have done it, and he knew already that Charles would not be appearing, because he would be in Maranello. Maybe it felt awkward to acknowledge that Max’s plans so much affected Charles’s plans, or they would if Charles did not also have plans at the same time. But this was not supposed to be awkward.

“Good, yes,” Charles answered.

Max felt like he was messing everything up, when he was supposed to be working towards… some kind of plan.

“I like your sweater,” Max said instead of anything else. He did like the controller for the face. “It makes me want to play FIFA.”

“If that’s what you want. After the walk. I can hear King awake.”

“I can make you good enough to beat Carlos at least. He’s not very good.”

“Okay, yes, I will learn from the master.”

Even though Charles was teasing, Max maybe liked that.

“The first thing you need to do is start with a better team.”

“Yes, yes, you are so funny, Max, insulting my team.” Charles didn’t rise to the bait squawking like Max expected, but his response was just as good.

The kids were awake already, just playing in their room. They did that sometimes. So they all went for the walk, and breakfast, and then the kids agreed to watch them play FIFA.

It did not last long until Mila could not be convinced with words to stay put, so Charles apologized and took off after her. It did not make any sense for Charles to be apologizing for this.

Max ‘played’ against Jaxx, who was definitely just pushing random buttons. Much worse than even a bad player who could learn what they were doing. But it was fun. And Jaxx cheered whenever anyone scored- which was always Max’s players.

Pascale came over to cook. She did not want their help in the kitchen. Probably she saw them as as much liability as they saw Jaxx.

They had lunch first, which she made for them, and then they were not allowed back near the kitchen.

They played with the kids. With little cars and animals. Until the kids took a nap so they would be able to stay up later.

Charles and Max went back to FIFA, but quieter to not wake up the kids.

Arthur arrived first, with Carla. They brought gifts.

Fuck, Max had said Arthur could bring Carla, but hadn’t gotten her anything. He didn’t know anything about the girl. There was plenty of candy, of course. Maybe she would like a bottle of expensive alcohol? Max definitely had something unopened.

They made the boring pleasantries.

“You have a beautiful home,” Carla said.

“The kids’ room is best. I did most of the decorating,” Arthur bragged.

“Lorenzo overruled any bad decisions, I am sure,” Carla teased him back.

Jaxx had to show Arthur his sim, and Carla followed, so Max took a moment with Charles. “Do you know what kind of alcohol Carla likes?” Max asked.

“Ah… wine, I think? But I do not know what kinds?”

Did Max have an unopened bottle of wine around? He wasn’t really a wine guy. Probably something from Daniel’s collections somewhere. Did that seem too promotional? Did it count as promotional if it was not for himself? Did it matter that everyone would guess correctly that he was re-gifting something he got for free?

“Do you need a gift for Carla?” Charles asked. “You can give her the scarf I brought,” Charles offered.

“Then you would not have a gift for her,” Max pointed out.

“I did not bring gifts for my family besides the chocolate letters, but I did for Carla because I will not see her on Christmas. But of course there is time to get her something else. You should take it,” Charles encouraged.

Charles would know her better and what to get her. And considering some of the favors he had accepted from Charles, the cost of a gift for someone else was not a big one. Max would find something more and bigger for Charles’s Christmas gift. In addition to the digital photo frame. Even though money wasn’t what mattered for someone like Charles, so it would be better to come up with another sentimental idea.

“Thank you,” Max accepted.

Dinner was wonderful. Pascale made some Dutch dishes that Max had only had in restaurants, and she did them just as well, and probably healthier. Not that Max was really worried about that over winter break, it was just something he was always aware of. Staying in racing shape.

Max did not try to hide it from the kids, but probably they did not notice Max walking away to stuff the shoes they all put out earlier. Which, with the amount of things and the sizes of some of the shoes, it was putting things near the shoes more than in them.

Max was proud of himself for noticing which shoes were Lorenzo’s and which were Arthur’s. Though he probably could have guessed Arthur the nice athletic shoes, Lorenzo the dress shoes. Not that they wouldn’t both own plenty of both, but that it would be what they chose to wear to Max’s place.

Max recognized Charles’s shoes, because he had been wearing that pair for the last two days without going home, and Charles did wear them often.

Max put Charles’s chocolate letters by the appropriate shoes. He put the socks in the shoes and filled the shoes the rest of the way with candy- only wrapped kinds, of course. Probably he should have asked everyone’s favorite types, but everyone got a mix. Max was only really careful with what he gave to the kids, that it was only things they could eat easily and safely. And he knew a few things Charles liked, so he could include more of those in Charles’s.

Charles’s socks didn’t all fit in the shoes either, since he had a lot of pairs, and Max didn’t even try because he wanted Charles to also get candy.

Everything everyone else brought was labeled, so Max put them by the correct shoe. Max and the kids had the most by a lot. Probably because, like Charles, the Leclercs did not really bring gifts for each other when they would do that at Christmas. Probably that was awkward. But probably they would like to see at least the kids open the things they got them.

The socks were not wrapped, so everyone’s reaction was right away.

Pascale gave him a hug. Lorenzo clapped him on the shoulder and gave high fives to the kids. Charles gave hugs to the kids and hesitated before offering a hug to Max as well. At least he did not ask out loud. It was only a little awkward the way hugs sometimes were between grown men. Their hugs hadn’t been awkward before, but they had not had an audience before either.

“Am I a horse now?” Arthur asked, holding up the horse-foot socks. “Mila, am I a pony?”

“Pony,” Mila confirmed. Or repeated.

Arthur gave the kids Ferrari gear. Little polos like team members that were only a reasonable amount too big, and the kid size hats could tighten enough for their heads. It looked cute.

“Arthur will not take any pictures with the kids in the Ferrari clothes,” Charles promised.

“Why?” Jaxx asked. He was always more alert to conversations than Max would think. He seemed happy with his shirt as a genuine gift. Probably Jaxx was too young to have bias against other teams. He knew Max was Red Bull, and he wanted Max to win, but he did like Charles quite a lot too, and Charles being with Ferrari probably made Jaxx like Ferrari some too, now that he recognized it. But probably he would also like a toy car with the Mercedes branding too, just not as much. Probably he would not care at all about a Mercedes hat or shirt, because he wouldn’t recognize it as much or like someone connected to it.

“Charles is just looking out from you. Even from Arthur who we like even though he jokes. It is good to be careful of what pictures we put online, especially of kids,” Max explained. It would be a complicated answer Jaxx wouldn’t understand, but would probably accept. “Like at the aquarium, I looked at the pictures and said that they were okay before other people saw them. We wish every person did this- except that would keep me too busy looking at pictures all the time.”

It was the sort of answer that kept Jaxx thinking without actually addressing the Ferrari and Red Bull thing at all. If Max gave a quick answer, Jaxx would ask ‘why’ again most of the time, but if Max gave a long answer, Jaxx would be satisfied with it, usually.

And no one pushed Max on it, so that was good.

Max would need at least some pictures of the kids in the clothes. Maybe with Charles. It would be fun to look back at them. But, yes, Red Bull would not like seeing them online, and Max wouldn’t enjoy the mess from that.

Arthur got Max a Ferrari hat. Most surprising probably was that it was not a branded Charles hat.

“I have owned a Ferrari hat before,” Max said for shock value. Arthur seemed shocked.

Charles did not even seem surprised.

“I remember you wearing one,” Charles said. Which surprised Max a little. Max definitely didn’t remember anything Charles wore from karting. But Charles would notice Ferrari things, even when it was ridiculously common.

“My family stayed sort of close to the Schumachers.” Michael would have been just starting at Mercedes when Charles and Max would have met, but Ferrari was his glory years. Well, the ones that Max could remember most of.

“Who is this from?” Carla asked, unfurling the scarf that definitely looked very expensive.

“Max,” Charles answered before Max would even need to.

The other gifts from Max were not wrapped like the scarf was.

“Oh, that is a nice gift, Max,” Arthur emphasized. “Did Charles help you pick the gift?”

Ah.

Probably Charles had shown the gift he was considering to his brother.

And Charles did not think that was a problem when passing the gift to Max.

“Yes, he did. Consider it a gift from Charles. I hope you like it, Carla,” Max said. The simple, mature answer.

“Thank you, Max, and for your help, Charles. It is lovely.”

“Yes, Charles, it is lovely,” Arthur said. Max thought that Carla was probably just using the word without thinking, but Arthur said it like it was significant. Teasing Max’s catch phrase or whatever. He did not even use it that much in normal life, it just became a thing to play for the cameras.

Lorenzo got Max a big pot. He didn’t actually own a pot that big. Probably that was an inconvenience for Pascale, who cooked large portions for leftovers. Probably they hadn’t when she had been regularly cooking for a family with three boys.

Carla got him a nice bottle of olive oil.

Pascale gave Max a cookbook she liked, with some recipes Charles liked marked, she said. It didn’t come in English or Dutch, so he might need Charles’s help, she told him. Like it was important for him to know foods Charles liked. Like she expected Charles to be there to help him read the French.

“Merci,” Max managed. He looked through the book, maybe so he wouldn’t have to look up. He noticed a stain on a page. One that had Lorenzo’s name written next to a recipe. Max turned pages. Charles. Arthur. Hervé. Written in different ink because it was from different days. Stains on more pages, some of them wrinkled or folded. It was a book she actually used for years. It wasn’t the sort of gift of giving something lying around the apartment so she didn’t have to buy a gift. It was a piece of them. “C’est fantastique. Merci.”

Lorenzo got the kids little Babar toys. Obviously the Leclerc family talked a lot. Pascale got Jaxx a Buzz Lightyear toy, and Mila a big comb and brush with a horse on the handle. Mila hugged the comb and brush like they were toys. Carla got them bracelets. Nothing that could break, so that was good. Sometimes Max wore bracelets, and Charles did even more often. Things from fans or something he was paid to wear usually, probably.

It was a lovely evening.

People started leaving as the kids started getting fussy.

“I will help you clean up,” Charles said. As if he needed an excuse to stay. Not even Arthur called him out. 

Max fell towards sleep easily, because he always did. Charles was on the other side of the bed. Maybe a smaller bed should have been part of Max’s plan, so they would be closer.

*****Max*****

Charles left in the morning, after their walk and breakfast like usual.

Probably Charles was flying to Maranello, but Max didn’t ask how he would get there.

Max was flying to the factory, but owning his own plane gave him the flexibility of schedule to spend the day with the kids.

Pascale came over to make dinner, and to eat it and spend some evening time with them. Max reminded the kids that he would not be there when they woke up, but Pascale would be there.

Max arrived late at the hotel he always stayed in in Milton Keynes. He could have an apartment there. A lot of drivers rented an apartment when they got a long term contract. Max never asked another driver if they paid for the apartment or if the team did. Housing drivers did not cost against the cost cap, and Red Bull could afford to put him in a hotel whenever he was there. Maybe Max thought of it as a reminder to them that Max could always leave.

Max did whatever sponsor activity they told him to do the next day. David Coulthard was there, which people always enjoyed. Max drove, he had an interview, and they didn’t ask anything personal. Because it was a sponsor event, probably. It was nice to talk about just driving that season. It was a very good season, other than the unreliability at the beginning. But there were some good races with Charles, and then it was of course also fun to just have the best car and win races with more ease more of the time.

It was weird talking of the year that was so recent. The questions were fine, but of course it made him think of other things. Remembering which races his dad was at. Even remembering which races Kelly was at, though of course that did not bother him the same way. Still, he could remember the races themselves and appreciate them.

Some people thought Max should enjoy the closer battle of 2021 more, since he won in the end, but Max would choose winning the championship weeks in advance every time. He hoped he could do it again in 2023. Also, if he had not won early in 2022, his father would not have seen it. And maybe Max would not have taken a week off to go back to Belgium and be with the kids there. He still would have gotten custody of them, of course, but it would have been a more tense few months, when it was already so difficult. If it was like 2021 again, maybe Max would not have won a second time. But there was never much point in thinking about what did not happen. Max had the best car, and he drove that car the best. Technically he could only prove that he drove better than Checo, but Max knew that he drove better than everyone. Like he knew half the grid probably thought that of themselves, if only their car hadn’t held them back. He did wonder, sometimes, how Charles would do in the car next to him. But it was nice having a Checo. So Max could always have the lighter chassis. It was what made sense for the team. Still… it was something to wonder about.

Max went back to his hotel room. The floor he usually stayed in. Not the most expensive room. But the staff knew him, and he did not have to fight them anymore to have good internet. But he did not feel like racing or playing any other video games on his laptop.

Maybe he would watch a race. He was still behind in F2. He especially had not made much progress because he had already seen the race weekend he watched recently with Charles. But, when he already knew the outcome, it was more interesting to get Charles’s perspective than to watch another race alone.

Max was pulling up an IndyCar race he had not watched yet when Pascale called.

Or Jaxx, really.

Max wasn’t surprised by the call, but it was nice.

“Hallo,” Max greeted. He could see Mila in the background. She held her Ferrari pony. They were already in their pajamas.

“Hallo,” Jaxx said back. Mila waved.

“Did you have a good day?” Max asked.

“Yes.”

“Were you good for Pascale?” Max asked.

“Yes,” Jaxx promised.

“Very good,” Max praised.

“Where’s Charles?” Jaxx asked.

It was not a weird question to ask. In Jaxx’s mind, they had the same job, so why would they not be in the same place? There was even the one phone call from Brazil where they were not only in the same city, but the same hotel room. Which the kids would not think was strange. They probably thought it was stranger that Charles was only there some of the time in Abu Dhabi, instead of helping put them to bed every night.

“Charles is in Italy. I will see him in a few days at the awards ceremony, but right now he is with Ferrari, and I am with Red Bull. We are each doing our own team duties, which is part of work outside of racing.”

Jaxx nodded like he understood. Maybe he did.

Max was tired. Maybe he would not stay awake to watch a race.

“It is good to talk to all of you,” Max said. “Be good for Pascale, and I hope you sleep well and have nice dreams,” Max wished. “Ik hou van je,” Max said to them. Because he should tell them he loved them more. He really meant to say it every day.

“Bye!” Jaxx said. Mila repeated her brother. Apparently Jaxx was used to 'Ik hou van je' meaning the phone conversation was over.

"Bye," Max said.

Someone, probably Pascale, hung up the call.

Maybe he should have tried to talk to them longer.

Max decided it was okay, because he had said what was important.

Max fell asleep easily because he always did.

Chapter Text

*****Charles*****

It was a weird time at Maranello.

The car that year had been so good, but not good enough. Not reliable enough, and not good enough for the whole year. Still, Charles loved that car. He was excited to drive it one more time for the tire test. 

He didn’t need to own another F1 car, and probably it would be harder to convince Ferrari to give up this one, and Charles really, really didn’t need another one. Still, Charles wouldn’t mind testing it in the future. He would hope that next year’s would feel better and be even faster, but he would always choose fast over comfort in a racing car.

It was a weird time because Mattia had already been fired- resigned- but he was still technically on the job. And, officially, no one could say who it was replacing him. Charles knew it was Fred, but he was not supposed to say. Probably a whole lot of people knew if Charles knew. Charles hadn’t told anyone, not even Max.

Not that Max would be the one he would tell, and not that Max would care. Arthur should be the most concerned. It could shake up the junior program for sure. Fred was involved with all of that at Sauber. Theo Pourchaire was a Fred junior, Charles knew. Charles didn’t know how much Fred would be involved with the Ferrari Driver Academy.

Of course, mostly it was weird for Charles because everyone knew he liked men. Of course, he had already been through a race weekend, but this was more Ferrari people, and there weren’t cameras around.

So he had to go through the day wondering if someone who didn’t hug or manhandle him was just being professional, or if they were homophobic. Italians were mostly very tactile people. Much more than French. Monaco had a mix, maybe.

And some of the people at Maranello had known Charles for a very long time. Maybe not all of them very well, but familiar faces. He was very used to hugs and hair ruffles, especially right before he was supposed to film something.

Chalres got in the car and tried not to think of anything else. Even in a tire test, he would never forget that he was driving a very fast and powerful machine that would always be dangerous.

Charles felt strange leaving the car, maybe for the last time. For that particular car. It should not feel strange. It was just a car. Charles had had a lot of cars before, in F1 and before.

The SF90 was the one he felt the most attachment to, which was why he owned that car now. As well as his first F1 car. He did not need to own another. It was just a car.

There was the so embarrassing time in Formula Renault when he pissed himself in the last race. Charles remembered being relieved to not be on the podium so he could run away as soon as possible and clean himself up. He did feel bad for the poor mechanics, but it was something he could laugh about years later.

The car from junior formula he could remember most was his car in Formula 3. Max's car. Charles left that car three times that he thought would maybe be the last. It started because Charles had a crash. Well, it started because Lance hit him on lap 1. Probably Charles should have stopped right away, but he was still in good points position, except he would never do that, because everything seemed okay enough… until it wasn’t.

Charles limped away from the car, and the engineers had a lot to fix.

It was… okay in the next race, but not quite right. The team would look at it more closely with more time, and Charles got a replacement car for the next race weekend. A brand new car. It was more expensive to use, and Charles worried about the cost. Worried about him being too much work for Nicolas, when Charles already had a car that was only one year old. Also, the new car did not really feel any better. It was not quite right, so Charles went back to his car. Max's car.

Then there was the end of the season. Being almost the last person who finished the race. A fitting end to a terrible, terrible season. One that he had been winning at the middle of the season, and finished the season fourth. Because he didn’t stand on the podium again after the crash. Or… after Jules died. Or the week before, when Charles already knew for sure it was going to happen. Or he should have known, because Papa and Philipe and Lorenzo tried to prepare him. Even as they went through their own grief, they thought of Charles. Maybe Charles did not really believe until it happened. 

Charles remembered being sure that there was something wrong with the car that the team just could not find or fix. Charles was not the sort to blame the car for his own failure. There was something wrong with the car. Charles was sure he was not broken, and that he was not cursed. He told himself many times.

Except if Charles had qualified enough ahead of Lance, Lance would not have been able to crash into him. So in that way, it was also Charles’s fault.

Charles got in the same car for Macau. Originally, he was going to use a different one, but he didn’t. The team said they found something small and fixed it. That they didn’t think it would be the cause of performance loss, but it was hard to predict everything. Charles got back into the car.

Even though it was Charles’s car all year, he still thought of it as Max’s car. The team talked about Max all the time. Going from VAR’s Formula 3 team straight to Formula One.

In Macau, the car felt good. Charles didn’t know if someone finally fixed something, or if it was just Charles that was different. Charles qualified third, finished the qualifying race second, and the final race also in second. It wasn’t first, but… Charles knew he wasn’t broken. Or, if he had been broken, he was better. Confident. He didn’t hate the car anymore. Max’s car.

Maybe if Charles had been able to keep up his early season results, he would have been headed towards F1 instead of GP3. Maybe not all the way there right away, but at least to GP2 to be Pierre’s teammate, instead of Gio going there. Papa could have seen Charles drive an F1 car if Charles had just made it there sooner. Charles would have had money to help Arthur start his career maybe a year or two sooner. That was the only part Charles still regretted, not being able to help Arthur sooner. Because Charles’s life was good. Was incredible. Of course, he thought Arthur had a good life too.

Charles moved on to GP3 and did not think of the car much until Anthoine started complaining about it. Anthoine struggled that year until he moved to a F312 chassis, which should have been an older, worse car than the F314 Charles and Max had used, but Anthoine did better immediately. Two podiums including a race win in his first weekend in it, when in Max and Charles’s car, his best result was sixth. What could he have done in a new car that actually worked? Probably no matter what he would have ended up the next year on the ART GP3 team Charles just left. GP3 went better for both of them, at least. Charles winning it in his first year, Anthoine winning it in his second.

Charles tried not to be competitive with old karting rivals who were not even in his series. It was more difficult when Max was an F1 race winner already, and Charles could only celebrate GP3 wins. On the same track on the same weekends, but not where Charles wanted to be racing.

Charles thought about buying the car in 2020, when he had the money to do it. Maybe he was feeling some way about the car that only the three of them ever drove in competition as far as Charles could research. Of course, that was not for a good reason, but because no one had wanted it, even though some older cars were still being used. It was never the same after that crash. Probably it was a testing car somewhere. Maybe VAR still owned it, still had their F3 drivers test in it, since it was an old enough car to not break the testing ban. Charles didn’t really look further into buying it. It was not even good for more than half a season for Charles, and not for any time at all for Anthoine. It didn’t make any sense to be attached to it. It was not right maybe to praise or blame it. It was just a car.

All of them were just cars.

Maybe Charles was just feeling weird about everything, and cars were something to obsess over. He could look at this car and think of all the battles he had. The most fun of them being with Max. Winning at Red Bull Ring. It wasn't Monaco or Monza, but any win was always amazing, and there was the little extra thrill of it being in Red Bull's home.

Charles always liked being in Maranello, but this time he just wanted to be back in Monaco.

Charles was not going to learn much of anything from staring at the screens when he was out of the car from the tire test. Performance was a lot about how the tires reacted with the car, so Charles did not think he could learn that much from driving the 2023 tires in the 2022 car. They would get the tires in pre-season testing of the new cars, and Charles would learn it fresh then. Charles could only hope it would be good.

Charles looked towards the fencing that he knew was the best spot to gather.

He remembered watching Jules zoom around Fiorano and picturing doing it right next to him.

There were a lot of people around, but Charles went to that area where he had always stood. There were rainbows there, but mostly everything was Ferrari red, and Charles liked that. Ferrari first on these grounds. They would support him, or Carlos, or whoever replaced both of them. It was comforting, in a way.

That did not mean that Ferrari fans could not prefer one driver over another, or be mad at one driver and want him replaced. They could like drivers on other teams also, but they were Ferrari fans first.

And he was one of them.

Of course, as long as he was an F1 driver, he would want himself to win every race. He did not plan to leave Ferrari, but he knew everything did not always go to plan, and maybe he might not be there for the rest of his career. But, when it was all over and he was watching from the couch, Charles could not imagine being anything but a Ferrari fan.

Their love for Charles was not unconditional, but it was based in something Charles could control. If he drove to the limit of the car he had, they would keep loving him. And, they loved him extra when that car was a good car.

The people there got more excited when Charles was walking over. More people walked towards where Charles was going, on their side of the fence.

Everyone was happy.

Probably if someone was obviously upset, security would have removed them.

Charles climbed a piece of the wall and leaned against the chain link fence to sign anything someone passed through. He took pictures, which was even easier. He did it until he was pretty sure he got all of them. There was no reason not to stay late enough, because he did not have anything to hurry home to.

Charles owned a house in Maranello. Charles grew up in an apartment, like almost everyone else in Monaco. Charles could remember thinking that houses were only for super rich people. His grandparents had a house. But they would not pay very much for karting, and Charles’s parents could not afford it. His grandfather set a limited budget, and Charles had to show results. Lorenzo stopped karting so that Charles could use the whole budget, and Arthur barely got to start. Until their dad was dying, and then Charles’s uncle helped them get and pay for a French F4 seat for Arthur. So Charles could tell his father that Arthur had an F4 seat, and Charles had an F1 seat. Even though the F1 seat was a lie. Charles didn’t have the 2018 Sauber seat yet, and yet he told Papa that he already signed 2019 for Ferrari. It was such a relief to make that be true. To lift some of the guilt of lying to his father. He could have guilt and not regret it, because he would do the same thing again, to give him something happy in his last few days.

Now Charles was a very rich person who owned a house. Not in Monaco, but in Maranello. He also knew that in many places someone didn’t have to be that rich to own a house, and probably the actually richest people in Monaco had apartments, and his grandparents had had that house for a long time. But they were very rich.

Charles owned a house because as soon as Carlos was signed to Ferrari, he started house shopping in Maranello. He asked Charles for advice, and Charles didn’t have any. So Charles bought a house in a weekend. Because Carlos shouldn’t own a house there when Charles did not. Carlos could not look like he was more dedicated to Ferrari than Charles. It was crazy thinking, but Charles never said he was not crazy.

Charles sat in his empty Maranello house.

It was not empty of stuff. He always spent several weeks here in the season, a few days at a time, so he kept it comfortable enough. There were healthy frozen meals for him in the freezer for when he did not want take out. But it was not his mother’s cooking. The place was empty of people, and noise. He did not have a piano.

Charles put on music and worked out, even though he had just been in the car, because there was nothing to do.

It would be very silly to go to Monaco just to turn around and go to Bologna. So he would not be doing that. It would be a waste of money and fuel, and time. Maranello was only something like fifty kilometers away from where he needed to be in less than two days, so of course he would not go many hundreds of kilometers that he did not need to travel just to be in Monaco for maybe one day.

But he missed Monaco. He missed the people. He worried for the kids. Which did not make sense, because the kids were with his maman, who was who Charles trusted most in the world, and it was not even the first time the kids stayed for multiple days with just her, and they would be fine. And they liked Charles, but they would be missing Max more, and if Max was at his factory and Charles was in Monaco, his maman would still be with the kids, and Charles would be in his empty apartment. He would be wondering if he could come over just for dinner, or if he needed to ask Max. Which would be a very awkward text.

Charles got ready for bed early, because there was nothing else he wanted to do. It was not even because he was hiding from people. He could go out to drink and dance if he wanted to. He was not afraid in this place that was his second home.

But he did not want to.

Charles was reading in bed when his phone rang. It was Maman calling, for a video chat. That was nice of her to check on him. Probably the kids were asleep. Maybe she thought he was missing home. Which was silly for someone who had traveled for competition for so many years. Or maybe it was not silly because of that.

Maybe Charles should not have been surprised by who he saw on the screen with his maman.

“I- I did the numbers!” Jaxx announced proudly. Maman gave Jaxx the phone fully. Charles wanted to hug the little boy. Charles a little bit wanted to cry.

Charles remembered that Jaxx knew Max’s phone number to call from the hospital. Maman would have told him each number to press with Charles’s, of course, calling it for the first time. But… maybe there would be more calls in the future. The lump in his throat made it hard to talk.

“You did so good, Jaxx,” Charles praised. “And I am so glad you called me. And you also, Mila,” Charles said to the girl he could sometimes see in the background closeby as Jaxx moved the phone around.

“Yeah,” Jaxx answered.

“Did you have a good day today?” Charles asked.

“Yeah,” Jaxx answered.

“Mila, did you have a good day today?” Charles asked.

“Yeah,” Mila copied her big brother.

“Jaxx, what did you do today?” Charles asked the harder question.

Jaxx looked up behind the camera. At Maman.

“Um- eat, and- and- color. I get it,” Jaxx announced. There was some more movement, probably handing the phone back to Maman before Jaxx ran off screen.

“Mila, what do you have?” Charles asked, even though he could see. Mila held up the Ferrari ‘pony’.

“Pony,” Mila called it.

Jaxx came back into frame, hands overflowing with sheets of paper. He held them up one at a time for Charles to look at. Each one ‘Dis one’s mine’ or ‘Dis one’s Mila’s.’ Most had a printed on picture for them to scribble over. Charles could have guessed which was which because Jaxx tried to stay in the lines, and Mila did not. Some of them were on blank paper.

And then there was one that made Charles’s heart twist.

“Wait, can I see the last one?” Charles asked.

Jaxx picked it up again.

It was three stick figures. Three circles with eyes and smiles, with four lines coming out from the heads. Torsos obviously not essential to the drawing. But two of the figures had longer legs than the one in the middle.

“You are very good at drawing people,” Charles praised. Because he was three years old, and them being recognizable as people seemed impressive to Charles. “Can you- tell me who that is?”

It could be anyone. Maybe it was even Jaxx’s parents, and Maman would have to deal with that without help, except whatever Charles could offer over the phone.

“It’s you,” he pointed to one tall figure, like it should be obvious. “And me,” he pointed to the little one, “And Max,” he said, pointing to the third figure.

It was unbearably sweet. Throat-tightening sweet.

“Where is Mila?” Charles asked, to have something to say. Maybe it was rude to question Jaxx’s art.

“Maybe- maybe with Pascale.”

“That is very good art, Jaxx. Maybe you can draw them tomorrow,” Charles suggested.

“Okay.”

“You are also doing very well, Mila,” Charles praised. She was not in the age where doing things that required more control was realistic. But… maybe Charles would be there to see her artwork later.

“Did you talk to Max today?” Charles asked.

“Yes.”

“They talked to Max, and Jaxx asked where you were. Then he asked to call you,” Maman explained from off camera. Charles could only look at Jaxx looking up at her. Not understanding her French, but definitely catching his name. Maybe a few other words. Charles did not remember being that little. Maybe it was not so strange hearing another language because he would already be used to not knowing words. They seemed to like watching Babar.

“I am so glad you wanted to talk to me,” Charles said. He wanted to say more. He wanted to say he wished he was there. He wanted to say more than that. He wanted to tuck them in and kiss their foreheads, and tell them he loved them, like Max did. He wanted to hug his maman and her to say everything was alright.

“I hope you have a very good day tomorrow,” Charles said instead. Max wouldn’t be there tomorrow, or the next day either. Though, that day he would be seeing Charles. “And sleep well,” Charles wished.

“Bye,” Jaxx said. He knew when a conversation was winding down, which must be very smart for sure.

“Bye Jaxx, bye Mila.”

“Bye, Charles,” Mila wished. It was the sweetest thing, hearing her say his name.

“Bye, Charles,” Jaxx repeated. It was just as sweet.

“Can you say ‘bonne nuit?” Charles asked. Because they were meant to be learning French, but also just because Charles wanted to hear it. It was not the first time they said it.

“Bonne nuit,” Jaxx said.

“Bonne nuit,” Mila echoed just a bit less clearly.

“Bonne nuit,” Charles wished.

*****Charles*****

Charles woke up disoriented. Which was very silly not to know where he was, even for a moment, when he was in his own house.

The empty house he only stayed in for work. That he only bought because Carlos was buying a house.

He did not need to be in Bologna until the next evening, and he did not have any more obligations in Maranello. Occasionally Arthur would also be with him, but Arthur was in Monaco.

Charles was not going all the way back to Monaco for one day. If he was going to do that, he should have done it already, even if it would mess with his sleep. He had a lot of recovery time, because he did not have to worry about optimal performance over winter break. Now, it was for sure not worth it to make the trip, and probably he would only sit in his empty Monaco apartment if he went home.

Instead, Charles texted Pierre. Because Milan was at least much closer than Monaco.

Charles stared at his phone for less than a minute without a text back before just hit call. If Pierre was not awake yet, the call just would not reach him.

"I am not in Milan," Pierre answered. "We are in Dubai."

Oh.

"That's fine. I am just near Milan, and wondered-"

"Is 'near Milan' meaning you are in Bologna early? Because that is not very near Milan."

"I am in Maranello."

"That is near Bologna, not Milan," Pierre corrected. "And you have to be in Bologna tomorrow, so you do not want to go back to Monaco, but you are lonely," Pierre summarized. Pierre had known him a long time.

"I am not lonely, I am bored. It is different."

"Why don't you call Max? I am sure he is bored this morning without you in his bed."

"I told you we are just friends," Charles said, instead of disputing the actual bed part.

"Just friends who take walks very near Max's building every morning," Pierre claimed.

"It is not every morning! It is... more like every other morning," Charles confessed. "And how do you know where Max lives?"

"I don't. I guessed. But I do not think you wake up to meet up for walks in the morning. And, there are pictures of you at night walking Max's dog without Max even there."

"Why are people taking so many pictures of us? This is not supposed to be how it is in Monaco."

"Because Monaco loves you, and two male athletes dating each other would be very interesting. I don't think it has happened before publicly. At least not famous ones, especially in the same sport."

"We are not dating,"  Charles reminded him.

"Do you have a timeline of when it is acceptable to ask him out?" Pierre asked. "And by ask him out, I mean whatever counts to you two, because it looks like you are already going on nice little family dates to karting and the aquarium." Charles did know there were pictures taken there, so it should not be a surprise Pierre would know. Pierre who was online much too much for his own good.

"He bought the family membership to the aquarium," Charles blurted out instead. "And gave me one of the cards. The kids are even free this young, and I told him this."

"Have you really not even kissed yet?" Pierre asked. "Or are you kissing and fucking and somehow convincing yourself you are not even dating when you are living together and raising kids?"

"We are not doing any of those things!"

"How often are you sleeping alone?"

"After we were both in Monaco, it was about half the days."

"So you can ask him out, or wait for him to do it, or you can make sex noises in bed until he snaps and pins you down. Or begs you to pin him down. I don't know how these things go with you, and I don't need to know. Do you have to worry if he wants to top or bottom? I guess he says he has not kissed a man, but that does not mean-"

"I am not worried about this," Charles cut him off.

"That is convenient that you like both," Pierre assessed.

"I thought we were not talking about my sex life."

"Well, it is a little more fun for me when I am sure you aren't having any."

"Goodbye, Pierre."

"You know I mean well. You are a good person being patient for him. He will do something eventually before you die of blue balls. Goodbye, my little chick."

Charles hung up. He could not help but smile.

Charles went in to drive on the sim. They would always appreciate his feedback. And then tomorrow he would be in Bologna, which was a good reward for a finishing position for the season he was proud of. And then finally he would be able to go back to Monaco.

Chapter Text

It was only in Bologna, so not a long plane ride from where Red Bull had him, and even closer to home. The kids were safe and happy with Pascale. Max received pictures of them ‘helping’ cook, of Jaxx using his sim, of the kids playing with the dog. Of them trying to play with the cats who did not often let them get close. Max had a call with them earlier before the ceremony, because it would be too late for a call after it was over.

Max could have an evening where he did not have to think of the kids first. Because he had a plan. Though, if it worked, of course, it would be good for the kids too. He just could not be thinking of them when he was thinking of the plan.

It was ungrateful to be impatient through the ceremony where he would receive the WDC trophy, but Max was very impatient. The plan could not happen until after the ceremony.

Charles seemed happy with his second place.

Max had three drinks. That would have been just the beginning of him starting to relax before, but he had not been drinking very much lately. Still, he was sober enough to hold respectable chatter, which was very sober. He wanted to be careful to be sober enough to not make a fool of himself. 

Max texted Charles first. Usually it was Charles checking on him. Max sent his room number. 

Charles: I am coming. Is everything okay?

Fuck. Max was apparently shit at this. 

Everything is fine. I just thought you might want to come over. But you do not have to. Everything is fine. 

Charles: I will see you soon.

Charles arrived with his backpack over one shoulder. It looked weirdly casual when he still had on his Armani suit. Max was still in his suit too.

Max closed the door behind him.

“I wanted to tell you earlier but you know what people would say,” Charles began, “But I wanted to tell you that you look very handsome.”

Max felt almost like he was going to vomit before he started crying.

It was… it was very much not the plan.

Very noticeable crying. Noises bursting out unwanted, and his eyes were wet and starting to leak.

Charles wrapped his arms around Max, and Max sobbed into Charles’s expensive Armani suit. 

And more and more. 

It did not make sense for it to be now. 

He wasn’t drunk. 

He was okay. 

Well… mostly okay.

It should have been earlier that he did this. 

Or later. 

Or literally any other time. 

Max hadn’t avoided the problems, he’d dealt with them. He’d talked to the Red Bull therapist and done everything he was supposed to do. He'd even asked if it was weird he hadn't really cried- which he had not wanted to ask- and the doctor assured him that people grieved in different ways. Max should not be crying now.

Fuck.

Charles gently directed them onto sitting on the couch. He moved Max like he had before, so that Max was leaning across Charles’s body sort of sideways, ass and legs fully sideways on the couch. His shoes were on the couch. He was still wearing shoes, and a suit, and he was crying.

This was not how it was supposed to go. 

Max moved his wet eyes higher, onto Charles’s neck, so at least he would not hurt the suit more. His warm skin felt nicer, even though Max felt overheated. 

Charles ran his hands through Max’s hair and over his shoulders. 

“It is okay to cry, you know,” Charles said. After Max had been crying for a long time. “And I can drive us back to Monaco right now, and we will be home by morning. If that is what you want.”

That was the exact opposite of the plan.

But… Max sort of wanted to be home.

“I think the pilot could fly if I called him.” That was probably the first thing Max had actually said since Charles came into the room. “And there is the backup pilot next to him. Probably one of them could fly.”

“I would be awake either way. I wouldn’t mind driving through the night. It wouldn’t be the first time. The first was a twenty-four hour karting competition. Jules and Lorenzo went off to party. They said they would be back in an hour, but they abandoned me all night.”

“Five hours is not the whole night,” Max objected to be petty. He was still talking into Charles’s neck. 

“You know that story then.”

“I was jealous. And you had a fourth driver, didn’t you? Norman Nato? Why didn’t he relieve you?”

“You really know the story. Norman drove before me, and he went somewhere to sleep. He was upset to have missed the party when he woke up. And you know it is much easier to drive a road car to Monaco than to drive a kart for five hours. And I was much younger then. And I do not think it would take that much longer to drive home. We are not that far away.”

The kids were asleep. He didn’t need to rush home just to get there a few hours sooner than he was scheduled. He needed sleep. Charles needed sleep.

Even if Max’s plan was fucked. 

“Can you stay here?” Max asked.

Max had never directly asked.

He’d not objected. He’d even offered. But he’d never directly asked.

“Of course I will stay. Thank you for letting me stay.”

Max could joke about having the better hotel room for being WDC winner. Instead, he just breathed.

They got ready for bed, each in shorts and a t-shirt. They got in on opposite sides of the bed.

They had always left space between them, and neither of them ever moved in the night.

But when Charles offered his open arms, Max settled against him.

That was perfect. 

Max didn’t need a plan. 

“When I was inviting you over, I was going to try to seduce you. I was not supposed to start crying. That was very against the plan. But probably I needed it.”

Charles held him through everything he said.

“Do… you want to talk now, or sleep?”

“You won’t be able to sleep now,” Max said into Charles’s neck. It was even easier in the dark, but Max didn't need the dark.

“But you could pass out right now, I think. And that would be okay.”

Max wasn’t sure if Charles could fall asleep with someone even touching him. He definitely couldn’t after Max said all that. But he was right that Max could. And probably Charles would hold him for a long time. Max yawned without meaning to. He was so comfortable. It was nice being held to fall asleep. He was probably a heavy enough sleeper that Charles could slip away after.

“Do you want to talk about the failed seducing, or about me crying all over your fancy suit?” Max asked. 

“I… you do not know you failed if you do not try. But I would like to talk about you first, if you can?”

Max was safe.

Charles wouldn’t let it go badly. Worst case, nothing would change. Honestly, he knew that wasn’t going to happen, or Charles would have rejected him already. So worst likely case was some sort of friends with benefits. And also caring, and being there a lot of the time, and caring for the kids too. Which sounded like a relationship to Max.

“I was not upset because my dad did not get to see me get a trophy. He already knew I won, which was the important thing, and that I won last year. I think… I wish he could see this. Well, not this, obviously. But… me happy. I mean, I was happy before, most of the time, but… I think… I want him to be here like a grandfather to the kids. So they see him once a month maybe, and talk on the phone sometimes. Even though that does not make any sense, because he was their father, and if he and Sandy did not die, I would just be this adult they know is their brother who talks on the phone once a week for a few minutes. They are only mine because he is dead, so that does not make sense.”

“I don’t think it has to make sense.”

“I don’t want him raising them, because- you know why. You saw him screaming many times in karting. Every time I didn’t win. Sometimes even when I did win, if I made a mistake.”

“I wished I could help,” Charles answered. “I told my family, and they wanted to help. Jules one time came and complained to several officials.”

That was nice. Everyone knew already, including the officials. His father was a Formula One driver. Not the most successful one, but enough for people to notice at a karting track. They could see and hear. But no one got arrested for yelling at their own kid. And Max’s dad wasn’t actually violent usually. Never with Max in public. Never that bad in private. No. That was excuse making. Max knew that any amount was bad. Knew that probably his father did it because Max’s grandfather was even harsher to Max’s dad as a kid. But that did not make it okay. Max could just love his dad anyway. Even though he did bad things. Even though he was dead.

“But still I want to talk about my career with him. I wanted to do Le Mans with him. Even though he didn’t want to because he thought he wasn’t good enough anymore. I didn’t give a shit. I wanted to do it with him anyway. I would do it with him and Nyck. Because Nyck is light, to cancel out my dad. Also fast, of course.”

“I wanted to do Le Mans with Jules,” Charles confessed. If something that obvious could be called a confession.

“You can do it with Arthur and Nato. I see pictures of him with Lorenzo,” Max admitted to checking Lorenzo’s instagram. Well, Charles could think he was watching Norman’s, but it was Lorenzo’s he checked.

“Or with you. And I need to do it at least one time with Arthur, but we could do it first with Nyck. If there is a team it would work with. I do not know how far into the future you are picturing this. I do not know how Ferrari would feel about this, or Red Bull. I don’t know if I would be any good in those cars.”

“You will be good,” Max promised. 

“I don’t even know what kind of car you are planning,” Charles laughed. 

“I don’t care.”

“I know it is not the same, but if you want to talk to an older man, Lorenzo is wise beyond years.”

“I know. Thank you. I am feeling much better now.”

“So…. “ Charles started, “Do you want to sleep or talk about… this seducing?”

“You know you cannot sleep,” Max said again.

“But you cou- okay, thank you. I would not sleep the whole night. What- are you looking for? From me?”

“Whatever I can have,” Max answered honestly. “If you don’t want to change, that’s okay. If you want to add fucking, that’s even better. If you want to move in all the time instead of half the time, that’s better. And you could actually have your things. You don’t have to be without your things half the time. Even if I like seeing you in my clothes. Of course, it is fine to want your space, of course.”

“You are… inviting me to move in? I have a lot of things.”

Max shrugged, “I can throw out some shit. I don’t care about anything except my sim. Some more trophies can go in storage or whatever.” Some were at his dad’s house that they still hadn’t done anything about. Probably the Red Bull ones Red Bull would gladly keep on loan.

“And this would be… not just sexual?”

“Obviously not. You’re basically helping me raise the kids already.”

“But between us, it would be also romantic?”

“We already do everything besides kissing and fucking. Yes, Charles, it would be romantic.”

“We do not do everything. We… it would be important for me to be- for it to be very serious romantic.”

“I already asked you to move in. I already made a key I did not know when to give you before. Do you want me to propose too?” It was crazy that that didn’t sound crazy. “We would have to do it in the Netherlands since it is still illegal in Monaco. But… I heard the Prince proposed something?” Heard from Lando who texted him. Max had no idea how Monaco’s laws worked before then. Apparently the Prince or the Council could propose something, then they would discuss and approve it- he hoped in this case- and then the Prince would sign it. There wasn’t too much need for bureaucracy with under ten thousand citizens.

“Yes, I saw that, and it is very good. I- was not asking for that yet. Though… we can talk about it more, of course. I am just asking to know… that this is very serious. Because… Ik ben verliefd op jou. Or should it be Ik heb je lief? I want to get it right.” Max could almost laugh.

“Both are good.”

Charles had googled a lot.

And wanted to… confess his love in Max’s native language. And he’d practiced, because his pronunciation wasn’t total shit, and Dutch wasn’t remotely similar to any language Charles knew.

Max was lucky to have already known the French. “Je t’aime”.

“You did not have to say it back.”

“I know.”

“And this is exclusive, yes?” Charles asked.

As if cuddling in bed and confessing love wasn’t obvious enough.

Max couldn’t imagine even trying to be with someone else.

“Of course exclusive. So if you go to Vegas again with Daniel, I do not have to worry again if you fucked him.”

“Max. Did you worry about this?”

Max shrugged, “Yeah,” he admitted.

“I did not fuck Daniel in Vegas. And, no, he did not fuck me, before you ask like this is a different question. We just ran into each other and partied. I only drank and was stupid with money. Which I do not do much, but it was Vegas. We did not plan the trip together, you know? Me and Daniel? We just ran into each other. We were both with other friends. But it was fun. I felt very cool partying with Daniel Ricciardo. I still sometimes think of him… as one of Jules’s cool older friends. Or that cool F1 driver I saw in Monaco who I was sure wouldn’t remember me, so I kept my head down and didn’t bother him. I have only had sex with my ex- girlfriend and Anthoine. I told you this.”

“Maybe group sex didn’t count to you. Or, you might have left him out because you were supposed to keep it a secret.”

“I have never had sex with Daniel, or any other F1 driver. It is only those two people. I’ve never had group sex, and I have never wanted to. I mean… is this something you like? Group sex?”

“No. I did once with two women, and it was awkward as hell,” Max admitted. It didn’t help that he was young and quick to go off. And didn’t really know how to get a woman off. And he probably wouldn’t have wanted to do something like put his mouth down there anyway, not in a random hookup, especially when he didn’t even know when she last showered.

But he would put his mouth anywhere on Charles. Even right after a race in Singapore.

“Good,” Charles answered. It sounded like a brat answer. Max liked that. Like Charles wanting to keep Max all to himself.

Max was tired. Emotional drain.

“Kiss me?” Max asked anyway.

Charles kissed even better than he hugged.

Probably Max wasn’t holding his side up as well.

Charles wouldn’t care.

“Slaap lekker,” Max mumbled.

“What?”

“Sleep… good.”

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Max woke up still in Charles’s arms.

Well, his head on top of one arm, at least, and a leg across Charles’s leg.

“Good morning,” Charles said.

Apparently Max’s body showed he was awake somehow.

Probably Charles slept really badly because he didn’t want to move Max.

“You can fuck me if you want,” Max answered.

Salvaging the plan, or just because he wanted to. He already did a lot of work for this, and it made sense to do it the first time when the kids were not in the same apartment.

Though, waiting for them to sleep, locking the door, turning on white noise and trying not to wake them up… it sounded nice. Domestic. He did not want to think about doing something similar with Kelly, so he didn’t. Past relationships of all kinds were parts with both of them- some bigger parts than others- and that was okay.

“I want every way this can mean. What do you mean?” Charles asked.

Fucking obvious what Max meant by fucking him, wasn’t it?

“I got ready for you yesterday. And practiced for a week before. It did not work for you with other people because you’re too big to take without practice.”

“What?”

“You have a massive dick I had to get ready for.”

“I- what makes you think that?” Charles asked.

“Besides that two people didn’t want to keep doing anal with you even though you are of course slow and gentle? I of course think this because everyone knows you have a big dick. It is common knowledge. You can google ‘Charles Leclerc bulge’. The tv shows you yanking around your suit to make room for your giant dick. I don’t have to do this.” That sounded bad. “Checo doesn’t have to do this, or Alex. You have a big dick.”

“This… soft is not the same as hard. Maybe Red Bull leaves more room in suits. Does Carlos-” Charles stopped like he didn’t quite want to ask.

“If Carlos does, it is because he thinks he is supposed to. If you insist that you don’t have a big dick, you’re going to be disappointed with mine.”

“No! Of course I would not care about this.”

“I’m not small, just normal.” There was a wide range of normal.

“There would be nothing wrong with any size,” Charles said, like he was campaigning for best boyfriend already. Boyfriend.

“Yes, yes. You are supposed to be fucking me already. I was ready last night. Now we will need more lube.”

“You… prepared for me last night?” Charles asked. Max was pretty sure he already mentioned that. Usually Charles was much better at knowing what Max was saying. If he was not so distracted.

“Yes. Stretching and a plug. If you fucked me last night, you could have just taken it out and fucked into me. Now you will need more lube. I am clean, of course. I have test results in my bag, but if you want condoms…”

Max didn’t want them.

“A… plug?”

“Yes, Charles, a plug. You are so slow this morning. Do you want to see it?”

“Uh, where is it?”

“Where do you think? I do not think you are this stupid. It is in my ass, of course.”

“You slept in a plug?”

Charles seemed more alarmed than aroused.

That was irritating.

Charles shifted away from Max, which was even more irritating.

“Well, I wouldn’t have slept in it if you’d fucked me last night.” Which was Max’s fault the plan was ruined, but he could ignore that now. “Unless it was hot to put the plug back in, to keep yourself inside me after you fucked me bare.” Charles hadn’t had sex with anyone in more than three years. Probably he had a test at some point after.

“Max!” Charles objected. But Charles liked it. They would definitely be doing that at some point. “You must take the plug out now, very very carefully. Do you feel uncomfortable at all?"

It was certainly not comfortable anymore. It had been fine putting it in. After a lot of prep working up to it. It had been better than fine then. But that was many hours ago.

“Only a little bit. It is fine.”

“If you are asleep, you do not know what your body is telling you. Have you worn a plug for a long time before?”

“No.”

“Even more reason this was a bad idea. This skin is very delicate, and tearing is bad.”

“I know that.”

“Do you need help? Do you have more lube? Did you use silicone lube with a silicone toy?”

“No, I did not use silicone lube with a silicone toy. I do know how to google.” He also couldn’t use oil based, because that did not work with condoms, and he couldn’t be sure Charles would be okay with fucking bare. “I used water based.”

“If you knew how to google, you would do only thirty minutes with the plug, or, if you really wanted longer, you would start with short time. And not when asleep! You do not drive a Formula One car without ever even driving a kart or sim!”

Max couldn’t help bursting out laughing.

“Yes, yes. Laughing does not help this situation. Up. I am helping. Where is the lube?”

“I’ll get-”

“Non! You are not moving more than needed. Pants off. And I think bending over, butt up?”

“You could say the last part a bit sexier.”

“There is nothing sexy about rectal bleeding.”

“I’m pretty sure there could be- for people into that.”

“No. Not in real life. It is dangerous and stupid. Even if you are okay, you will be tender, and you will not be putting anything inside of you for several days. Okay?”

Charles was really not sticking to the plan.

“Fine. Inside the bag, in the side pocket with the zipper.”

Charles got up to retrieve it, and Max got into position. Moving was more uncomfortable. And it wasn’t the circumstances Max intended Charles to see his bare ass the first time. Max could hear Charles rummaging through the bag. He’d find other things in that pocket.

“This… was very stupid. But it looks very nice, Max.”

Max smiled to himself.

“I am trying to warm this lube up, because I do not want you to flinch, but I also need to use a lot. You need to relax. Don’t try to push it out yet.”

“You know what you are doing,” Max observed.

“Not really. I have never been this stupid. Sorry, that- I did not mean it so harsh. I am worried for you, and maybe I wanted to tease. But you are not stupid.”

“You call yourself stupid all the time. I am not insulted, Charles.”

“Okay, I- am going to touch you. Relax and please don’t flinch.”

“Just get on with it.”

Wet fingers touched around his hole. Touching the edges of the toy but not pulling or spinning. They weren’t exactly warm, but it was fine.

“How big is the plug?” Charles asked.

“Big,” Max answered.

“This is not an answer.”

“Five centimeters diameter and fifteen centimeters long.”

“Max! That is very big.”

“Your dick is bigger, isn’t it?”

“I have never measured the diameter of my dick, so I do not know.”

“I bet it is bigger. Longer for sure.”

“My dick is not hard inside of you for eight hours. While you sleep.”

“But it is bigger, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Now, will you-”

"It's much bigger, isn't it?"

"Max, this is not the time for this."

“The plug is only that wide for part of it, deeper in. The long part is a bit thinner.”

“I am going to use a lot more lube, which will be more cold. Don’t flinch.”

Some of the lube was definitely no help as Charles basically poured it above Max’s hole. He used fingers to get it around the toy, trying to gently force the lube downward. Max wasn’t sure how effective it was. He was also getting tired of it.

“Just pull it out.”

“When you are ready, I will gently pull it out while you push like you are… taking a shit.”

Fuck.

“What if I actually have to shit?” How was Max supposed to tell when he was so full of this thing? Had it felt like this last night? Max was during the season careful enough with his diet for predictable shits. It was important for a driver. He usually took a shit in the morning European time, but his diet had been less careful than usual.

“I can get a towel if you need it?” Charles offered.

Like the hotel’s bedding was what Max was worried about.

Which gave Max another thing to worry about.

He would leave a very large tip and hope the hotel staff thought he brought the kids with him. Or just didn’t have any idea who he was.

Max had never taken a shit without the door closed and no one else in the room in his whole life- or at least for as long as he could remember. Or at least a stall for a larger public toilet, but that was very not preferred and did not usually happen, because he had a schedule most of the time. Which was a necessary part of being a driver. But usually those were still very private.

Max was intending to be clean and stretched and minimal work, and to have it all be very separate from the shitting functions of the ass.

And Max was bothered by this much more than Charles was. Max had a fucking plan. Which should have happened last night. He vaguely thought they do hand jobs or blowjobs in the morning, or maybe he would fuck Charles, if Charles wanted that.

“Max, you need to relax. I am getting a towel. Don’t move.”

“I am not going to shit.”

“Then the towel is for lube,” Charles answered, unbothered.

Max obeyed and didn’t move. Charles placed the large towel over Max's shins, under his ass. Which was still in the air in what should be a very sexy way- Charles had said it looked good.

There was so much fucking lube everywhere, there was probably none left in the bottle for something fun.

Not that they were very likely to do something fun after this.

“Maybe I should google to make sure this is right? I have used a plug, but never for this long. Do you feel if the lube is sinking deeper?”

“Just get it out!”

“Being upset is not relaxing. It is definitely the most important part that you need to relax. If I am making it worse, I can go?”

“No! Just… give me a second.”

Max was safe.

Charles was more comfortable than Max was.

Charles wanted to help. Just because he offered to leave didn’t mean he wanted to. He wasn’t running away. There probably wasn’t fucking anything that could make Charles run away, because he found Max sitting on the ground in Austin and hadn’t had to do anything there, but he had, and he didn’t just pass Max off to someone from Red Bull, which would be a completely good enough person thing to do, and much easier. He hadn’t ever run away.

Max really, really hoped he wouldn’t shit.

But it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“Count of three?” Max proposed.

“I am not going to yank it. We are going slow. Mostly you pushing and I help.”

“Fine.”

“Do you mean go on three or go after?”

“On three.”

“One. Two. Three.”

It was uncomfortable, but not what Max would call real pain.

But probably he had a higher pain tolerance than most people who weren’t athletes. He learned early in karting not to complain unless something was serious. Either he could race or he couldn’t, and he always wanted to race.

Max scrambled up, and Charles was inspecting the toy, probably looking for blood. Hopefully there wasn’t shit on it.

Max could face away from him and run for the toilet with some shred of dignity.

“Are you okay?” Charles asked before Max could leave the room. Max kept moving.

“I’m just taking a shit,” Max said, and closed the door behind him without turning around.

“Make sure to check for blood,” Charles called. “Before and after on you, and in the toilet.”

There wasn’t any blood.

There was so much fucking lube that Max got into the shower, because even the bidet and toilet paper together was not up to that much. It was fucking everywhere. Dripping down onto his thighs when he walked. He’d need to clean the seat after.

Charles fucking knocked on the door.

“Max, are you okay?” Charles called

“I’m fucking fine. No blood. I’m pretty sure you overreacted, but I’ve learned my lesson, okay?”

“Do you want help in the shower?”

“Charles, I think I can handle washing my ass.”

It was a little sore.

“Max, I am trying- Max, do you want help washing your dick? And I mean with my mouth. Or with my hand if you rather.”

Max didn’t need to be well put together or have any plans.

“Come in.”

“Ah- the door is locked.”

“Fuck.”

Charles told Ferrari to cancel his flight plan and flew back to Monaco with Max.

If VistaJet would fuck off, that could happen more often.

Chapter Text

*****2026*****

*****Max*****

“Daddy!” Mila shrieked. Max smiled, chest tight. It still affected him, hearing her say that. “I need help with my hair! Papa, where’s Daddy?” Mila asked when she came in the kitchen and saw Max. It still twisted his heart when she called him that too. And on the rarer occasion when Jaxx used it instead of ‘Max’.

Mila had called him ‘Papa’ first. Max wasn’t sure what gave her the idea. Books or television or some other kid. Jaxx resisted it. He’d cried the first time she said it. But, now seven years old, Max wasn’t sure if the little boy had any real memories of Jos Verstappen. It was a complicated feeling that Max talked about with Charles. And his therapist.

Max talked about Jos and Sandy to both kids. They all mostly called Jos ‘vader’ or sometimes ‘father’ in English, and Sandy 'mam'. They saw their living grandmother and other family. They called Charles’s mother and Max’s mother their grandmothers as well. Probably Mila picked up calling Charles 'Daddy' from a children's book that had a Papa and Daddy in it. One they had had very early on, that was just to introduce kids to the idea of kids having two dads. Sometimes Jaxx would say it. He never any other connection to that word.

“He’s looking at the kart with Jaxx,” Max answered.

“Again? It is the same as yesterday.”

“Jaxx doesn’t think so.”

“Horses are better. A car cannot be your friend.”

Mila had been riding for over a year and was pushing to have her own horse.

But, anything she got now, she’d outgrow in a few years, so he and Charles were holding firm. The stable had plenty of horses, and, even if they owned one, it would still live at the stable in France. So, Max didn’t see what the difference was. But, he learned not to say that more than once.

Horses scared Max more than karts. Sure, horses were slower, but they literally had minds of their own.

“I am not sure Jaxx would agree with that either,” Max answered.

“Boys are stupid.”

“Mila, that is not true and not kind. And girls can drive karts too. You still can whenever you want. Like your Aunt Victoria and Penny.”

“Sorry,” Mila answered.

Penelope Kvyat was racing against Jaxx sometimes now. And she went by Penny, a nickname she got at school. Because P sounded like pee.

Sometimes, they would all get ice cream after a race, no matter how the kids did. And whether that was ice cream with Kelly or Daniil, or both, it didn’t really matter. And Pascale was there if Max or Charles couldn’t be. Sometimes also with Arthur or Lorenzo.

Victoria had managed to come once, with Luka, Lio, and Hailey. She spent her own time more than she would have wanted with Luka at his own kart races. She hadn’t been able to convince him to like football instead of cars, so she’d supported what he wanted. Lio hadn’t seemed interested, but Hailey had her first kart now- which was Jaxx’s old first kart, but it was still good. Luka’s favorite was when Victoria would get back in a kart for fun too.

‘Aunt Victoria’ was a name Max started saying without intending it to, and Mila and Jaxx accepted it. Victoria was an aunt, Jaye was a sister. Jaye still called all of them her brothers and sisters, of course. And Victoria’s kids were called Jaxx and Mila’s cousins. Though Jaxx would say he was their uncle when he wanted to boss them around. The adults still had to watch them. Lorenzo Leclerc’s baby girl was a cousin to them as well. And, her coming along had made Mila start pestering them for a little sister. Which made Jaxx demand a little brother.

It was something else he talked about a lot with Charles and his therapist.

Maybe they could.

“I’m going to find Daddy,” Mila announced.

“Love you,” Max called.

He said it as many times a day as he could, in any language he could.

“Love you too.”

*****2024*****

*****Max*****

Some of the media called them like brothers.

It didn’t stop questions about if they were dating.

Max’s seeming statement of denial became ‘Pascale and Charles are like family.’ Or ‘The Leclercs are like family’.” Not lying, exactly, but they decided there was no need to be even more public.

Family meant a lot of things.

Some of the fans had ideas about what it meant.

A lot of them. A whole lot of them had other ideas.

Max knew Charles read stories fans wrote about them. Sometimes he sent Max one, or usually a piece of one. It was hot.

After they became engaged, Max enjoyed tossing out the occasional ‘Charles is not my boyfriend’. People who knew knew, and people who did not… it was not their business, and Max could have his fun.

Many of the fans caught on close enough. Or, at least they wanted to believe it. Saying things like ‘yeah, they’re husbands, obviously’.

They had planned to announce their relationship publicly with wedding pictures.

And then Charles won his home Grand Prix.

Max always wanted to win every race, of course, but he had never been happier for someone else winning.

They didn’t talk about it when Charles got pole. Charles had been hurt by that before.

It was only unfortunate that Max wouldn’t be on the podium with him.

And that it was the most boring Formula One race Max had ever been in. Because he did not count Belgium 2021 as a race. But Max was secretly glad for the boring race. He wasn’t very likely to win from sixth, so he wanted it to be Chalres, of course.

Monaco family viewing options weren’t close to where the winner parked, because there was so little space everywhere in Monaco’s race week. Jaxx and Mila watched most of the race like Charles first did. From a friend’s balcony.

Their own place had a balcony facing the track too. But they didn’t want people taking pictures of the kids from their own balcony. They were fortunate to have multiple volunteers. Only Lorenzo and Arthur were in the family area, probably shown on the broadcast many times, because the race was so boring.

So Charles couldn’t see their family to celebrate right away. Max couldn’t get there very quickly either.

Max met Arthur and Lorenzo below the podium ceremony. Max got hugs from them and got to celebrate Charles’s win with them before Charles did.

Max watched Charles spray champagne and hug the Prince.

Max had never wanted a second or third place so badly.

Max got some of the champagne spray, at least. Charles saw him.

Max couldn’t get to Charles until he was mid-interview.

Charles would have so many interviews.

Max had never hesitated to interrupt an interview.

Max touched his shoulder for attention first.

Charles accepted his hug with a wide smile. Max leaned into his ear.

“Would you like a real kiss?” Max whispered.

Charles kissed him.

Charles was a very good kisser, but that might be their best kiss yet. Max still wished it was on the podium, but it was perfect.

*****Charles*****

Charles was trying not to cry the last two laps.

Trying not to crash.

He jumped into his teams’ arms, because they were there, and they won this too.

He wished Max was parked right next to him, so he could jump into Max’s arms.

He wished his Papa and Jules were there, but he was used to wishing that.

He hoped they could see him.

Kissing Max was going to double the number of interviews he had to give, but Charles would take that too. Gladly. He was ready to shout it from the rooftops.

And it meant he could take Max with him to the Gala.

Oh, it would have been something just to show up arm in arm.

It was amazing how much had changed in the last years.

Not in the whole world.

Not in several of the places where they raced. Places where Max, Charles, and Lando still had added security if any of them left the paddock.

Not even legal changes in Italy, though there was talk of it.

But Monaco was different.

Alexandre would be at the gala with his boyfriend, Charles knew. And, if they wanted to get married one day, they could do it in Monaco.

Charles had the place of honor beside the Prince.

Max was next to him. In his prize ceremony suit. His only real suit. Charles would enjoy seeing him in anything, but he liked Max’s stubbornness and practicality. If he still fit in his suit from 2015, there was no need for another one. One suit, one blazer. He’d rented suits a few times when he was out somewhere and needed a suit on short notice. He looked amazing in anything.

It was a very strange relationship Charles had with the Prince. Where the Prince was a lifelong fan of Formula One, and a fan of Charles in particular, as one of his citizens excelling in his favorite sport. They had first met when Charles was twelve. His father wouldn’t let him ask the prince for money. Even though it just made sense to Charles. But it worked out. Better than it should have.

Everything worked out better than it should have.

There was too much tragedy in the world, but there were good things too. Charles was very aware every day that he had an amazing life.

“How long have the two of you dated?” the Prince asked in French. Like it was gossip. The princess listened eagerly as well.

“One and a half years,” Max answered. He was getting more and more confident speaking French in public. Charles reveled in it.

“We were going to wait until we were married to announce it. But we were so overcome with the emotion of the day,” Charles said.

“Oh! When is the wedding?”

Charles glanced at Max. He motioned his head neutrally.

“Over summer break,” Charles revealed. He was excited. He didn’t need it for them, because Max was already his without a wedding needed. But it was still very exciting. And it would help Charles adopt Mila and Jaxx as well.

“Where is your venue?” Princess Charlene asked.

“It is in the Netherlands. In a garden,” Max answered.

“Outside? What if it rains? You can of course use the ballroom here,” the Prince stated.

“Here… in the Palace?” Charles asked.

“Of course.”

“Thank you for the kind offer,” Max said . “We will discuss it with family and with your office.” Not promising anything. He was so sexy speaking in French. So confident. Charles wasn’t anywhere near as good at Dutch. He could understand it well enough, but his mouth just would not get things right. Max enjoyed him trying.

“Now the two best Formula One drivers will be Monagasque,” The Prince declared loudly in English. Announcing their upcoming marriage to anyone who didn’t already hear or understand Charles say it in French. Of course it would have been public in articles soon anyway for sure.

“Actually, it is only ten years after marriage that spouses can obtain citizenship,” Max corrected. Corrected the Prince.

“I can give you citizenship by signing a paper,” Prince Albert dismissed.

“I wouldn’t change my racing license,” Max warned.

“Then only the best Formula One driver will fly our flag. Still, I will welcome you. And your children.”

“Thank you, Your Serene Highness,” Charles stepped in.

He didn’t care where their wedding was, or what flags or citizenship any of them held.

“Thank you,” Max repeated without the formal address.

Charles loved him.

*****2022****

*****Max*****

“For Christmas… do you want to have two? I know we already had Sinterklaas… but if you wanted to have Monaco Christmas early… you could have it with my family, if you want? It is just Maman and Lorenzo and Arthur, and my uncle Theirry and his wife Stéphanie, and my three cousins. The little one, Romy, she is two years old, only a little younger than Mila, so I hope they could play. And the middle- what day is today- ah, I have not missed it. He has a birthday this month, Andrea, he is turning ten years old. And Jules is thirteen.”

“Jules?”

“It- is a common name, yes. He was not named for Jules. But Andrea… he wears seventeen on his kart when he can choose. And Jules chooses sixteen. It is sweet.”

“So… your family would just… move Christmas?”

“Yes? I mean, probably they would do something on Christmas Day, those of us that are in town. I- do not know if that will be me.”

“What?”

“I don’t know if you want me to come to Belgium with you.”

“I- just assumed you would want to be with your family.”

“I know. And I can. That would be normal with how little time we have dated. Carla still goes home to her family for Christmas, and Arthur never asked for anything special. And Lorenzo never has for anyone he has dated before… but if I had to pick… I would like to be with you and the kids… if that is okay? I do not think we will have to pick. I mean, really, we already had Sinterklaas with my family, so-”

Max had never been in a relationship serious enough to spend holidays together, he supposed.

“I would like you to come. Of course, it would have made a lot more sense to have Sinterklaas in Belgium and Christmas here.”

“But your grandmother likes Christmas more,” Charles remembered. Always listening to what Max said.

“You actually want to come?” Max checked once more.

“Yes. Are you okay with that? We have not been dating very long, and you have only told your mother and sister. We do not have to tell anyone else, but it might be obvious?”

“I think Jaye has a crush on you.”

“Oh,”

“After what Vicky said, there must be something about you that makes Verstappen girls go crazy.”

“Ah- Max? I think you are the most crazy for me, yes? So maybe you do not have to say Verstappen girls.”

That was embarrassing. “Right.” It was just something Max had thought when Charles first met Jaye. Because Max was acknowledging his own attraction and affection towards Charles. It was good that Jaxx and Mila were getting attached to Charles as a parental figure now, so he wouldn’t have to worry about that being a serious issue with them. If either of them grew up to like men. Though, the internet said it was perfectly normal for young children to go through phases where they declared that they wanted to marry someone around them- or several people around them, and they might be related to that person or not- parent, grandparent, uncle or aunt, and it didn’t mean anything, and he just shouldn’t take it seriously. Though, it was possible that Charles’s fascination with Jules started like that, and became more serious as he grew up. Of course, Jules wasn’t related to him, so there wasn’t any real reason for him to grow out of it. And it didn’t interfere with their friendly relationship. Max did a lot of reading on the internet, on as reliable of websites as possible, and he knew Charles did too. Max hoped to have a while before either of the kids had serious romantic interest in anyone, because that sounded significantly more difficult. It was just cars and animals for them. And not like that, obviously. “I will talk to Jaye before we go to Christmas,” Max promised.

“I am invited?” Charles asked.

“Of course.”

“Good. I will call Maman and see if they can move Christmas. You are okay with me telling my uncle’s family about you?”

“Would be pretty obvious when I showed up, but yeah, that’s fine.”

“I love you,” Charles said.

Max drew a breath too quickly. And loudly. It would be embarrassing if Charles would care about anything embarrassing. Max still wasn’t used to hearing that from Charles, in any language. He needed to keep getting better at French so they could use it for actual meaningful conversation. But this was good too.

“I love you too.”

Chapter Text

*****2022*****

*****Max*****

When Max had thought about what to say to Jaye about Charles before they saw each other at Christmas, he thought it was probably time to properly tell Jaxx and Mila. It seemed sort of silly that they hadn’t said anything yet, and yet it also felt silly to say anything to two toddlers. Charles was just there most of the time now, sleeping there every night, and they would kiss occasionally around the kids, and neither of them seemed to notice that anything unusual was happening.

Parents and psychologists on the internet said that even Jaxx was a little young to really understand romantic relationships. Kids that young didn’t understand that mouth kisses were different than cheek or forehead kisses. So, probably telling them wouldn’t really do any good. And it was one more thing they might announce to anyone else they encounter, without realizing that was a bad idea. But the kids could just as easily mention something else- like that Charles slept there every night- and Max and Charles accepted the risk. Mostly because there obviously wasn’t any alternative where they lived how they wanted to at home. Their home. The place with Max’s name on all the paperwork, but with an increasing amount of Charles’s stuff around. They hadn’t hired actual movers for the big things yet- like a piano- but Arthur and Lorenzo helped Charles move a lot of things one day. Max offered to help, of course, but that would be the sort of attention they wanted to avoid. For a little while at least.

All the advice on the internet for introducing a partner to children doesn’t really fit their situation. For one, Max wasn’t divorced, so there wasn’t any other parent to consider. He saw part of that from his last relationship, and they didn’t exactly follow internet advice in waiting six months into a relationship to introduce a new partner to a kid, but P had been so young… But this situation was much more different. The kids already knew and loved Charles. He was already spending the night every other night before they were dating. In their new life with Max as their guardian, Charles had been there literally from the very beginning, at the hospital. Most parental relationships started at the hospital with a birth. Theirs started at the hospital with a death. It was poetic or something in a spiral of thoughts that didn’t help anything.

Max squeezed Charles’s hand, and Charles squeezed back.

Technically, kids or not, it was probably a crazy thing to move in together after so little time dating. But it seemed silly to care when they halfway already were, and it had been going well.

“Jaxx and Mila?” Max said. It felt weirdly formal. “I wanted to let you know that Charles and I are dating, and that means that Charles is going to be here a lot more. If you have any problems, let me or Charles know,” Max said. It was way too formal. They were still two and three years old. “Okay?” Max checked to get a response. Even though the kids wouldn’t really understand what they were agreeing to.

“Okay,” Jaxx said.

“Okay,” Mila said just a moment after.

It was done. And Charles was the only one who could have teased Max for how he talked to the kids, and Charles wasn’t going to. Charles just held his hand and smiled while he looked between the kids and Max. They held eyes.

Fuck, Max loved him.

*****Max*****

Max called Jaye’s mother. Which would be the thing to do even if Jaye had gotten the cell phone she had been asking for for Christmas for at least two years. Probably her mother hadn’t wanted Max’s dad to have a way to talk to their daughter without going through her. Which wasn’t the greatest thing to think about.

“Hey, Kelly,” Max greeted.

“Hello Max. I hope you are enjoying your break. I can get Jaye?”

“Uh, in a minute yeah. I just… wanted to tell you both… that Charles is coming to Christmas, and we’re dating- me and Charles.” He didn’t know if Kelly knew he liked men. She’d been around when he was a teenager, dating and then married to his dad, but it wasn’t exactly something that was discussed much. Probably she didn’t know. Unless she assumed like half of everyone else that he and Charles were already dating.

“That is wonderful, Max. I will get Jaye so you can tell her too.”

“Do you think-” Max rushed to say… “That Jaye has a crush on Charles?”

He could hear Jaye’s voice in the background “Is it Max?”

“Oh, a bit,” Kelly answered. “But not so much more than any other handsome famous person. Except she met him and he was nice to her.”

Jaye asked another question Max couldn’t quite hear.

“It is Max, just a minute, Jaye.”

“Ah, yeah, thank you, you can give her the phone.”

“Hallo, Max!” Jaye said.

“Hallo, Jaye. Are you excited for Christmas?”

“Yes. Are you coming to Christmas? Mama said we are going back to Papa’s house?”

It was a giant house, and it made sense to host it there. It was where Christmas had been for probably as long as Jaye could remember. Grandmother would come. Grandfather had stay in a hotel before he died. As had Max‘s mother. And Jaye’s mother as well.

“Yes, is that okay?” Max asked. Someone should have asked Jaye if she was okay with going back to the house. Maybe Victoria did already, or she talked to Kelly.

“Yes. You’re going to be there?”

“Yes. And Jaxx and Mila, and… I am bringing Charles too. Because… I am dating Charles.”

She was definitely old enough to understand enough about dating. But maybe she did not know that two men could date each other.

“Oh, wow! That is exciting,” she said. It didn’t sound fake, but Max wasn’t there to look at her. “Do you love him?” Jaye asked. Max had never worried much about being a role model for his little sisters or Jaxx. Never worried if a relationship he was in was the sort he wished for them.

“Yes, I love him very much,” Max could answer honestly.

“I thought maybe you loved him, when I met him the first time, and I was sure you did when I saw him again in Abu Dhabi.”

“You are very observant,” Max praised. The timing and the labels didn’t really matter. Max definitely wouldn’t have called it love the first time, but Charles had been there, doing the work with him. Helping there to be some happy things to remember even when everything was shit. “So, you are okay with me bringing Charles to Christmas?”

“Of course that’s okay.”

Max was lucky. He had very many good people in his life.

“Thank you for saying that. You are a sweet girl, and I love you very much. You know you can always come to me, yes?”

“I know, Max.”

“Do you want to tell me how school is going?” Max asked. Max had never liked school, even though he liked learning things, but Victoria always talked about school and the kids in her classes a lot when they were young.

“Sophia got an iPhone. It can do everything. She got in trouble when it rang in class, even though it was her mother calling. Which I do not think is fair. But she is silly for not putting it on do not disturb.”

Max smiled.

*****Max*****

They got together at the house that Max thought Charles’s uncle lived at, except Max wasn’t sure, because it was far too clean for three children to live there. It may or may not have been Charles’s grandmother’s house before she died. Houses were expensive in Monaco.

Arthur and Carla were already inside when Charles, Max, and the kids got there, but Lorenzo and Pascale had waited for them outside. Pascale hugged and did the fake double cheek kiss to each of them and adjusted one of Mila’s ponytail. Lorenzo did the fake kisses with Charles and then a bit more awkwardly offered to Max, who copied Charles. He patted the heads of the kids, and Mila hugged his leg. Jaxx offered up his little hand, which Lorenzo shook.

There were more greetings inside with the family. Fake kisses or hugs or handshakes as everyone tried to guess what Max and the kids would be comfortable with. Max noticed the wide, excited eyes of both boys, especially the younger one.

They were nice.

Pascale helped Charles’s aunt Stephanie in the kitchen.

Uncle Theirry got Mila and Jaxx set up playing with little Romy. Shapes and simple toys mostly, but there were some toy cars.

The two older boys were obviously especially comfortable with Arthur, hanging on his arms and wanting to have his attention, when Arthur was trying to be the good boyfriend spending time with his girlfriend. Of course, probably Carla already knew his aunt and uncle and cousins, even if she hadn’t spent Christmas with them before.

Jaxx stayed next to Mila and Romy, but he was most of the time looking at the bigger little boys. Like they looked at Arthur, basically.

Max hadn’t noticed until one of the boys was right next to him and Charles.

“I’m going to be a Formula One driver when I grow up,” the younger one declared. Andrea. Recently ten years old. His English was good. Max’s had been okay at that age, planning for the future, but he’d had a much stronger accent. 

Max was several years from meeting Charles at that age. Mini Max karts. Max had liked the category name even though it had ‘mini’ in it. 2007 was Dutch championships, 2008 was Belgian, and he had won them both, of course, and some other events. Charles was off winning his own national level karting championships in France. Probably Max learned Charles’s name for the first time around that time. Probably Charles hadn’t heard of Max yet, unless Charles was as obsessive looking for future competitors when they were still years away from international karting. Of course, Charles might have heard of Max’s father, and some people knew Jos Verstappen’s son had a career in karting. Of course, most ten year olds probably didn’t know about F1 drivers who only got a couple podiums and had not driven in F1 since the ten year old was… well, his father’s last race was just after Max turned six, but it was soon enough after that Charles might have still been five. It was sometime in October for sure when the season ended back then. Not like the crazy long season they had now, going almost until December, and they wanted even more races to be added.

“How good are you at karting?” Max asked the young boy.

“I’m very good,” Andrea bragged. “I’m much better than Jules, even though I’m younger. Don’t tell him I said that.” Jules was still next to Arthur. Trying to look like the mature one, probably, even though he’d been pulling on Arthur’s arm a few minutes before.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Max assured him seriously.

“It’s not really a secret. I almost always beat him in races. It’s just not a very nice thing to say. But it’s okay, he’s going to be a businessman like Papa, and I’m going to be an F1 driver like Charles and Arthur.”

Max had talked that confidently at that age to everyone else, but he had known how hard it was. How many kids didn’t make it. His dad had told him probably he would be a bus driver. Or a truck driver. 

Even talented karters did not always make the change well to single seaters. Ben Barnicoat had been as good at karting as Charles. Maybe almost as good as Max. And he’d taken okay to single seaters, won a few cups- Max knew it was two Formula Renault cups and an F4 two weekend trophy. Max did not forget things like that. Max had been jealous seeing Ben move to single seaters in 2013 when Max was still karting… but then two years later, Max was in F1 when Ben was still in Formula Renault 2.0 and the bit of some British F4 trophy- which eventually became GB3. Ben had done well in single seaters, but not well enough. Not Formula One good enough. He had a good sportscar career, but it wasn’t what they all dreamed of when they were Andrea’s age. And he had been one of the very best. It was still a long shot for Arthur to make it to F1, and Arthur even had all the points he needed for a Super License, and a famous last name and Ferrari support. It was a much, much greater long shot for any barely ten year old kid.

And a kid who didn’t even share a last name with Charles, even though their fathers were brothers, which Max hadn’t asked about, but assumed it was a half brother situation, which didn’t seem like a thing to talk about in the Leclerc family, especially with Lorenzo. Except Lorenzo had two last names, and Charles’s father hadn’t, as far as Max knew, because Charles didn’t have two last names. 

Theirry Manni seemed extremely rich, and his father, Charles Manni- who Charles was obviously named for- founded a successful company, but from what Max learned from Instagram some time ago- long before Max and Charles were together, though maybe it should have been some sign of obsession years ago- Herve Leclerc was the older brother, so seemed probably to be half brother, sharing the same mother but not the rich father, even though Charles called him grandfather.

Max wasn’t sure how the lack of shared blood with Charles Manni affected the funding Herve’s sons’ racing careers. Or not funding them. Max knew Charles lost family funding around 2010 and would not have been able to continue even karting without Jules connecting Charles to Nicolas Todt. And Arthur hardly got to do any karting at all.

It was not until Herve was dying that Theirry apparently funded Arthur’s first season in F4, years after Arthur had done any competitive karting. The grandfather would have been dead at that point, Max was pretty sure, but the grandmother would have been alive, since she outlived Herve. 

Max’s grandmother had outlived her son too, which was shitty, and was part of why they would make sure to see her on actual Christmas.

Probably Theirry was technically rich by that point from some high up job in the company, but, whether he was good at it or not, it was clearly a nepotism job, and Herve was dying from some drawn out illness, which Max had never heard the specifics of, but thought probably it was cancer. Of course, most people wouldn’t expect an uncle to fund a karting career, especially without a legal repayment plan in place, but many grandparents did. Maybe Theirry got inheritance when his father died, even though their mother was still alive. None of it made the best Christmas and first time meeting the extended family thoughts. He’d know all of the things eventually.

“Are you winning many races?” Max asked. Which was probably a dangerous question if the answer was no. Charles had said the kid was good, but Charles wasn’t exactly an unbiased viewer. He clearly loved all his family very much.

Andrea looked a bit like Charles did when he was younger. Nothing was quite right, and he had glasses, which Charles had never needed, except sometimes he wore blue light glasses, which Max sometimes did too. Though Max had seen a few times Charles put on Harry Potter glasses when he was younger.

“Yeah, I win lots of races,” the kid bragged. Which didn’t really mean anything without knowing the strength of field.

“That’s great. Keep it up,” Max encouraged.

Andrea ran off, back towards his brother, who was standing next to Arthur, Carla, and Charles’s uncle. Jaxx watched with wide eyes.

Charles shifted to be in front of Max instead of behind him, and took both of Max’s hands. “I love seeing you here with everyone. You were so good with Andrea.”

“I love seeing you with Jaxx and Mila every day.”

“I am glad they are here too, of course. I will get the boys to show Jaxx their karting things, because I think he wants to be with the big boys, and they will like to show off. Maybe you will see the helmets too? You know, Andrea is going to tell everyone he knows about Max Verstappen encouraging him, you know?”

“I would think he would be used to it, being your cousin.”

“He is just a bit star struck with me sometimes too. It is very sweet. I am enough older to always seem old to him- Jules is not much like this, and probably Andrea will grow out of this. But I was so busy with racing all his life. They spent more time with Arthur. When our parents were busy, especially when Papa was sick, and Lorenzo was with me, sometimes Arthur would be with them.”

And that was another piece of their family story that Max was trusted with so easily. Technically Max had guessed that already from seeing Arthur on Theirry’s Instagram with the family, but it was nice to be told.

“I love you,” Max told him.

Charles kissed him.

“I love you too.”

Chapter Text

*****Max*****

Victoria was the one who found the gifts. When she was over at the house getting it ready for Christmas. She had actually found them when looking for a place to hide Luka and Lio’s gifts. Sandy had done Christmas shopping sometime before going to Texas, apparently. There were multiple gifts for Jaxx, Mila, and Jaye, and one gift each for Max and Victoria, and two each for Luka and Lio. Max’s gift was obviously a bottle of alcohol, which… probably wasn’t what was best for him at the moment, because he wanted it too much.

Max was glad that Jaye was included with the little kids. That was very good of Sandy, because Max was sure they were all picked by her, not his father. Wrapped by her or the stores. Jaye was the one it would mean the most to, probably. Though Jaxx was hard to predict. Probably Max- or Victoria- should talk to Jaye’s mother first. Did Jaye believe in Sinterklaas still? Or Santa or Kerstman (Christmas Man), or Père Noël, or whatever her mother chose? Max never did, but Jaye had at some point. But maybe that was over on Sinterklaas and Christmas gifts were from family? Max honestly could not remember what was done last year. It seemed now like such an important thing for him to not notice about his little sister, but Max could only remember getting a few gifts and missing Kelly and P. If Kelly had invited him, he probably wouldn’t have seen his family at all, but she said he should spend it with his family. Max hadn’t stayed there very long.

Was it better to give the gifts before Christmas so the crying could be then? Probably there would be crying. Max didn’t cry at any of Victoria’s texts, but he did get to bury his head in Charles’s neck as he mumbled through half an explanation before just giving Charles his phone open to his text conversation with Vicky. Charles rubbed his head and back and kissed the top of his head.

Charles didn’t try to rush them to the plane, even though the last time they had flown together, Charles had insisted on being on time to not be rude to the pilots. But that had just been trying home the morning after the prize giving ceremony. Even though Max would have made the pilots wait for hours so Max could get back in bed with Charles after their… shower.

Which wasn’t great to be thinking about when he was supposed to be making a plan for helping the kids through another hard time.

The first of everything without them was just going to be hard.

And the second of everything too. Except Max wasn’t sure at what point the little kids would just forget the people they were supposed to be missing. Which would be a different type of sadness when they were old enough to know that they were supposed to be missing them.

Jaye wouldn’t forget their dad, and Max wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.

They would be okay.

They would all be okay.

*****Charles*****

Charles did his best to be as supportive as possible for Max and the kids.

They were comfortable getting in the plane. Probably they had already flown more often than many adults.

They all knew the precautions to take to keep their ears from hurting, including the kids who might not have known why.

They had activities planned for the kids to do, tablets and coloring and toys, and it wasn’t a very long flight anyway. The kids had been on much longer flights. Jaxx would have a toy plane race a toy f1 car. It was incredibly cute. 

Max seemed to be coping okay. The gifts were an unexpected thing. A wonderful, beautiful thing, but difficult. And maybe there were some extra complicated feelings from Max about it being a bottle of alcohol, which Charles had recently only seen Max drink when he was at the prize giving ceremony, far away from the kids.

Charles held Max’s hand and smiled. 

Max drove them to the house in the car left at the small airport, car seats included. Charles wasn’t entirely sure if it was Max’s car, or if it had been his father’s.

Max drove one handed to keep hold of Charles’s hand.

Max hugged Victoria for a long time. It was good for them to comfort each other. 

Charles wished his maman was there. She had offered, but it was good for her to be with Arther and Lorenzo. And maybe it was good for Charles to not rely on her for this. He could be a supportive boyfriend. Or partner, if that sounded better. 

Victoria greeted Charles and the kids after, and then took the kids to see Luka and Lio.

“We’re going to get it out of the way to not cry on Christmas” Max whispered in Charles’s ear as they hugged.

Charles thought maybe there would still be tears on Christmas. 

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“Jaye is coming a bit later,” Max said, which Charles already knew was the plan. Jaye was spending the morning with her mother’s family, and she would have Christmas Eve evening and Christmas morning with the Verstappens.

“It will be good to see her,” Charles answered.

“Jaxx and Mila are going to think that Christmas happens four times, with gifts tonight and tomorrow and in Monaco and Sinterklaas.”

“That is okay,” Charles assured him. Though we can cut it down next year if you want.”

“Only getting rid of Christmas Eve,” Max answered. “Or if the two is Sinterklaas with my side and Christmas in Monaco.”

“We can do Christmas with your grandmother,” Charles encouraged.

“If she’s alive next year,” Max said.

“Is she sick?” Charles asked, holding Max tighter.

“No. I just… do not assume anymore.”

Charles continued to hold tighter.

Charles couldn’t promise she would be. Charles could not even promise that he would be. That Max would be.

“For your whole life, you will be so loved,” Charles promised instead. “And the kids also.”

Charles held him until Luka came running over and attached himself to Max’s leg.

Charles smiled as Max happily greeted his nephew. 

Max’s mother and grandmother arrived together. I was nice of Sophie to check in on her ex-husband’s mother. More hugs and kisses for everyone, including Charles. It was nice that even his grandmother was supportive.

Jaye and her mother, Kelly, arrived last.

More kisses and hugs. Jaye stood on her toes, and Charles bent enough to let her kiss near his cheeks. Three slightly awkward kisses, though her mother had done one. It was sweet and innocent really, Charles just wanted to make extra sure there was a clear boundary in place because of what Max had mentioned about a potential crush.

“Kelly, can I ask you something?” Max asked and walked away.

Probably it was about the gifts from his father.

So it would be helpful to keep Jaye distracted.

“Puus-je avoir un autographe,” Jaye asked shyly. It was nice of her to provide her own distraction. It was adorable.  

“Oui. Que veux-tu que j'autographe ?” Charles asked slowly and clearly. 

Jaye took off her small backpack and pulled out a notebook and handed it to Charles. Her autograph book. She must have met a lot of people going places with her father.

Charles opened the book at the beginning. Her father was on the first page. Printed name, probably written by an adult, signature, and a picture of him. Taken a bit close and from someone short. 

She wanted to be a photographer, Charles remembered from her saying it at the funeral. 

Max was on the second page. In a Red Bull hat. If asked, Charles would guess the picture was from 2019. Of course, no one would ask. Jaye wasn’t in the pictures, but she had definitely taken them. Charles flipped to the next and saw a widely smiling Christian Horner. Kneeling to be at her level. 

“You can share Max’s page,” Jaye said, turning the page backwards. 

“Oh, I don’t want to mess his page,” Charles objected. 

“You won’t. And I can make a new picture of you and Max. This one is not good.”

“I think it looks very good,” Charles defended her young work.

“I am now much better. You think Max looks good. That is not the same as a good picture.”

“What is this?” Max asked, coming back into the room. Apparently his talk with Jaye’s mother had not taken long.

“Jaye wants me to sign in your page,” Charles said apologetically. 

“That is nice. Do you have a pen, Jaye?”

“Yes!” Jaye said, holding out a pen.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Charles asked. To Jaye and also to Max. It was her book, but it was his page. Max could convince her to give Charles his own page if Max wanted to.

“All of the things you said and this you hesitate?” Max asked. 

“I am not hesitating,” Charles objected, even though he had been obviously. 

Max’s signature on the page was more careful than his normal signature, so Charles did the same. Not really different, just a bit clearer. Because he was only signing one time. And it was for someone he cared about a lot. 

“Merci,” Jaye said, taking it back. “I need my camera. Mama has it,” she said, running off.

“I think she is getting a phone for Christmas,” Max told him when Jaye was out of the room. “Her mother bought one, but still hesitates. Not like you who never hesitates, right?”

“Waiting to make a decision with more information is not the same thing.”

“Of course not,” Max said, and Max kissed him.

They broke apart when Jaye ran back into the room.

“No! That was a perfect pose and you stopped. Do it again!” Jaye ordered as she pulled a small camera from a bag. Probably she would like a bigger camera with lots of lenses. Joris would know what to get that was not too complicated but could do more with settings than that one.

Unless the camera had sentimental value from being from her father or some other important person.

“I don’t know that a picture of us kissing should be in a book you hand to people, Jaye,” Max told her. “We are keeping our relationship private for a while.”

“Now, is this called hesitating?” Charles couldn’t resist asking.

Max kissed him, and Charles heard the sounds of several pictures taken.

“So it is going in the book?” Charles asked.

“It is going in our apartment,” Max said. “In a nice frame. Maybe we take some smiling pictures for the book for now.”

“Okay,” Jaye agreed. Probably she liked the idea of her picture being displayed in their home. Max’s home technically, but… it was becoming Charles’s also. He hadn’t slept at his own apartment since they’d gotten together.

Jaye took some pictures. Max’s arm was thrown over Charles’s shoulder, but that was a pose they’d had for many pictures over the years well before they were dating. Max had always been taller, even though he was barely taller at all once they were fully grown.

Max kissed him again after, and then he knelt down in front of Jaye.

“Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something,” Max said.

Charles wondered if he was saying it in English because of Charles. Or maybe Jaye’s English was actually better than her Dutch. Charles wasn’t sure if her mother spoke Dutch or only French and English.

“Okay?” Jaye asked.

“Papa and Sandy bought Christmas gifts for us before they died,” Max said plainly.

“Really? Papa? Really really?” Jaye asked.

“I don’t know what they are,” Max said. “Papa paid for them for sure. I don’t know if Sandy bought them alone or if Papa bought them or told her what to buy,” Max outlined honestly. Because he couldn’t do anything else.

Jaye nodded.

“It is okay to cry,” Max added. “We are going to open them tonight, and there are more presents tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Jaye sniffed, but she wasn’t really crying.

“Do you want to open them before or after dinner? You can decide for us.”

“Before.”

Victoria made the speech to all of them, that Jos and Sandy bought them gifts before they died. She said Mama and Papa to Jaxx and Mila, and probably Jaye as well, and said ‘From Opa’ to Luka after as she handed him a gift.

It was only heart breaking for a few minutes as Jaxx looked confused and asked ‘Mama?’ once, looking around. Like he’d see her. Mila was already ripping paper of a gift near her, and Jaxx joined her soon after.

Max unwrapped his bottle of gin and said he would enjoy it. Charles was glad there was a locked liquor cabinet at home. The lock was probably because of little Penelope Kvyat, but it would be good for Jaxx and Mila too as they got older.

The gifts to Jaxx included the same Red Bull car that Jaxx already had now, the one that Pierre had found in Austin. So most of the time he had both his and Mila’s little Red Bull cars already. But another car could never hurt. Luka got the same car as well.

Mila got some cute clothes and soft animal toys, little and big.

Jaye got a film camera and extra film, and clothes, and one animal toy that matched one Mila got. A lion. Lio got it too, but not the slightly older boys. Was there some age that little boys were supposed to stop playing with soft toys to them? Why would it be so young? Or maybe Jos and Sandy knew the boys wouldn’t care about it and would just want cars?

Jaxx got a track with a loop in it that would propel little cars forward. Charles remembered one similar from his own childhood. Hot Wheels hadn’t changed that much, but there was no reason for it to, with new generations of kids loving cars.

Jos’s mother got some fancy soaps.

Victoria got a purse. Tom also got a bottle of alcohol, which was nice for him to be included. Charles wondered if he ever would have been included. If none of what had happened in Texas and on had happened, and he and Max got together in a more normal way. If that would ever happen. Charles was very lucky in this, and he knew this. He never forgot it.

Charles smiled for pictures and for everything a child showed him.

Victoria and Tom heated up and assembled the catered meal as a buffet. It would be a lot of people to cook a meal for. Some of the other adults offered to help, but they mostly sat around watching the kids play with their gifts. Jaye took a lot of pictures. Her mother would have to figure out where to take film to get pictures. Max and his mother took turns holding Lio as the older little children played.

“Dinner was lovely, thank you,” Charles said with a smile around the table, but especially at Max.

It was time to get the little kids ready for bed not long after dinner.

Max read them a book in Dutch, and Charles looked on just as interested as the kids were, and then Charles read them a book in French. It was a pattern they did sometimes. If the kids wanted a third book, it would be in English, but they were tired. Neither had slept much during the day, and it had been a big day.

It would sound very corny to say aloud- though probably that meant Charles should say it- but just kissing Max was better than anything he had ever done with someone else. Of course, doing the other things with Max was also better, but he did not feel… necessary. Most of the time. Probably Max would not want to do anything with so many of his family in the house, and maybe not sure how noise would travel. That was okay.

Charles loved just kissing Max until Max literally fell asleep while kissing- Charles did not understand and was so jealous how easy Max fell asleep.

Charles kissed Max’s hair. Such nice hair that Max so often hid in a hat. Though Max also looked very handsome in hats.

Charles scooted just a little bit away from Max, and he did not feel like he was awake for too much after.

*****Max*****

Max woke up next to Charles. He realized he woke up because of knocking on the door. Was it locked? Jaxx or Mila would just open the door.

“It’s Christmas!”

Jaye. That made sense. It was Christmas. Probably she was excited for gifts. More gifts. Or just to see them and celebrate. She was a sweet girl.

Jaye’s mother said something to her that Max couldn’t make out, and didn’t really care. The most she would see if she opened the door would be them without shirts. Though, maybe she should not see Charles without a shirt. Even though that was not supposed to be a big deal for men.

“We are coming,” Charles answered. Which was a normal thing to say and was not funny, so Max should not laugh. He maybe exhaled loudly enough at it that Charles gave him a look. “Merci, Jaye,” Charles added. “We will be there as soon as we can.”

Jaxx and Mila hadn’t woken them up because they were happily playing with their- well, technically they weren’t their cousins, but… probably they would grow up like cousins now. Maybe they always would have whether they were adopted by Max or not- whenever the lawyers could make that happen. Cousins who did not see each other enough because they lived countries apart most of the time. But that was how a lot of cousins lived. Max grew up close to his grandparents, parents, and Victoria. And somewhat to Aunt Gerda, but not really to other family. Sometimes Danillo when they were younger, but he saw his father’s mother more than his grandfather.

“We let Jaye wake you because breakfast is ready,” Victoria told them. She was sitting on the ground with the little ones. “If you were awake earlier, we could have had presents first. Late night?” Victoria teased.

“Just good sleep,” Max answered.

“Max always has good sleep. I am so jealous,” Charles sighed.

Max wasn’t sure if Charles had woken up before him or not and just stayed in bed.

“Victoria too,” Tom agreed.

Charles laughed. Max loved his laugh.

Breakfast had a lot of things, probably most of it bought in stores, but some made by different people there. No one had expected Max to make anything, which was probably a good decision, though he and Charles could have managed.

Pannenkoeken, Kerststol, other breads and pastries. Cheese, meats, eggs. So many cookies. Coffee and hot chocolate.

It being so special for Christmas breakfast made Max think about how much work Pascale did for normal breakfasts. Too much work for sure.

After so many Christmas things, the real Christmas morning was going very nicely, but it did not feel any more like Christmas than any of the other ones. Sinterklaas had been very special, making cookies with Charles and the kids, and everything Pascale made. And the Monaco Christmas, and Christmas Eve also both felt like Christmas.

More gifts than any of them needed.

Most of them Victoria picked, and Max did not even know what they were.

Jaye got a few video games. And a cell phone. Which would have some parental controls and her mother could always see what she was doing. She was thrilled. She was too young to be doing something she would want to hide from her mother, Max was pretty sure.

Jaxx and Mila received more toys and books and clothes and shoes.

Max got more gin and some clothes, because Victoria liked him to wear nice clothes that weren’t just sent to him by AlphaTauri.

Max had given the remote control cars to Charles and the kids at Monaco Christmas, and saved the picture frame, maybe because it could have more pictures, or maybe because he had been nervous.

“You did not have to get me another gift,” Charles said as Max handed him his present. But, before grabbing it he reached down to grab something to hand Max. Of course Charles would say that and then have something for Max too.

“Just open it.”

Max opened the gift Charles handed him.

It was a robe, a very blue robe, and very soft. A lot of people assumed his favorite color was orange, but it was blue.

“Some kind of tablet?” Charles asked, looking at it. “It is very light,” he commented while investigating the stand that would pop out from the back.

“It only does one thing,” Max corrected. Charles let Max take it from him.

Max turned it on and started the pictures. He felt like everyone was watching him, but probably they weren’t.

“Oh!” Charles exhaled when he saw the first picture. From the aquarium. He stared as it shifted to a picture from the first day karting with the kids. “This is wonderful, thank you,” Charles whispered, voice weak. Like he might cry. “Je t'aime.” Max held his hand. The camera clicks from Jaye were probably pictures of them. If it was the film camera, someone could still get it on the digital frame for them. Or in a regular picture frame. That would be nice too. There was plenty of room for a lot of pictures.