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Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Sakura Haruka is the name given to him by his mother—or that’s what Haruka is told, when he’s fifteen and presenting as an omega the first time, writhing in pain against his futon tucked in the corner of his room. An elder from his clan sits a few feet away, staring down at him with sharp, disappointed eyes. 

“She should have given you a stronger name,” the elder says, her mouth curled into a deep frown. “Maybe then you wouldn’t have ended up like this.”

Haruka doesn’t understand why she keeps blabbering on and on—wishes that she would just leave already so he could ride out his heat by himself. But she can’t leave. She’s been sent to watch over him; to make sure he would leave his heat unsullied.

This means, of course, ensuring that no alpha enters the room to rape him; a fate the clan rather he not meet because he’s a son of the clan head, despite being disfavoured. 

This also means ensuring that Haruka does not touch himself.

Chastity, after all, is the only virtue an omega like Haruka has—or that’s what this elder keeps saying, slapping his wrists whenever he tries to move his hands between his legs to relieve some of the ache.

Sakura Haruka learns early that he’s not a good omega.

He’s terrible at flower arranging. The tea he brews for ceremonies is too bitter. He eats too messily, his fingers clumsy around his utensils when he sits with the rest of the clan in the dining hall. 

He’s too aggressive, hissing and growling whenever an alpha from his clan gets too close for comfort; whenever an alpha looks at him with disgust as they take in his mismatched eyes and hair, before their stare fills with lust as they catch sight of his small, pale wrists poking out from his kimono sleeves.

Once, an alpha tries to slide his fingers into the seam of his neckline, and Haruka bites the offending hand so hard his teeth stain red.

His temperament, ultimately, gets him sent to his room in solitude several times in the span of less than a month. The first time, a clan elder slaps the sensitive scent glands over his wrists until they’re flushed red, and bars him from meals for two days.

This time, because Haruka talks back to a particularly esteemed alpha elder, he doesn’t get to eat for seven.

The first day, he drinks a mouthful of water before he sleeps the entire day away, tucked firmly into his futon. The second and third day are spent much the same. 

By the fifth day, he starts gnawing at his upper arms. His forearms. His wrists. 

By the seventh day, he has freely bleeding teeth marks winking from his pale, pallid skin; from the sensitive scent glands over his wrists.

Tucked under his futon, he weakly laps at the blood over his swollen skin, whimpering.

In hindsight, aside from starvation, the solitude isn’t so bad. It isn’t.

Haruka is better off alone than with the clan, away from their judging and disgusted stares. 

Away from their wandering hands and lingering eyes. 

Two months after his first heat, Haruka tries to run away. 

He doesn’t pack anything except for what he can fit into the folds of his kimono: some food, some bandages, and his mother’s bracelet. By midnight, he leaves by leaping out of his window, breaking his fall on the black tiling of the roof before he’s running. Jumping onto a tree. Scaling down the tree.

When his bare feet touch the soft grass of the compound, he digs his toes into the soil. He resists the urge to lie down on it and look up at the night, starry sky; one that he’s only seen from his bedroom window ever since presenting as an omega.

It’s prettier than he remembers.

But just as he’s climbing over the walls surrounding their estate, his older half-brother, Takiishi, grabs him by the wrist, yanking him back down into the bushes.

“Let me go,” Haruka hisses, angrily yanking his arm out from Takiishi’s hold as he scrambles to stand up, shaking off the leaves and sticks and dirt that had gotten all over his clothes and hair. “I can’t stay here anymore—”

Takiishi grabs him by the collar, dragging him up from the ground, Haruka’s legs dangling uselessly. He lifts Haruka high enough so that he meets his older brother’s stare.

The alpha’s golden eyes are piercing.

“The laws of our territory do not protect omegas,” Takiishi says, his words callous and cold. “Think, for a second, about what will happen to you, once you leave the protection of the clan.”

Haruka lowers his head, biting his lip so hard he nearly draws blood.

He doesn’t have to think.

He knows.

He knows.

How could he not know, when it had been whispered into his ears by clan elders since he stopped growing past one-sixty-five centimeters? When it had been beaten into his head every lecture before he was sent to solitude for his unseemly behaviour?

He would be kidnapped. Raped. Or killed. Or all of the above.

Or he could be—

“Omegas,” Takiishi continues, golden eyes boring into Haruka’s trembling gold and silver ones. “Aren’t free. Do you understand?”

In the passing years, nothing much changes. He’s still terrible at flower arranging. He still can’t set up proper tea ceremonies. He still eats too messily and clumsily. He’s still too aggressive.

Still ugly, because of his mismatched hair and mismatched eyes.

Still lonely. Still alone.

Still a bad omega.

One day, Haruka wakes up, and he’s eighteen years old.

After crawling out of his futon, he rinses his face and mouth using the wash bowl that a servant changes every morning. He then pulls on a kimono that had been laid out for him—black, with minimal, wave-like designs lining the hem. 

He kneels back atop his futon, until a servant arrives with food. 

He eats a little.

After the servants take away his bowls and utensils, he vomits in the waste bin.

He then attempts to read a book.

He gets through a good ten pages before he feels fatigued, the process unnecessarily long and difficult given that he doesn’t know the meanings to half of the words. Omegas aren’t supposed to be educated, and Haruka was never good at studying in the first place.

Scowling, he tosses the book aside, before rolling over his futon to take a nap.

He wakes up in time for lunch.

When the servants take his leftovers away, he stands up. Paces around his room, for a good fifteen minutes. Looks out the window, staring into the garden that he likes to think used to belong to his mother. Watches, as the sun slowly lowers from the sky.

Then, it’s time for dinner.

Slowly, reluctantly, Haruka steps away from the window. He leaves his room, ignoring the whispers and jeers, the disgust and lustful stares sent his way as he walks through the darkly lit corridors.

Soon enough, he arrives at the dining hall. He makes a beeline towards the head table. He sits next to Takiishi, his legs folding clumsily underneath the draping material of his kimono.

“Sakura,” Endo greets him with a leer from across the table, as he usually does. “You’re late.”

Haruka ignores the alpha, who continues grinning at him. 

Leering at him.

“That’s rather unusual, for you. Did you get lost?” His dark eyes flit down Haruka’s face, focusing on the hint of collarbone peeking out from his neckline. “Do you need someone to escort you?”

“No,” Haruka snaps immediately, and Endo sighs, shaking his head. 

“Sakura,” he drones, “you should be nicer to your future alpha.”

“You’re not,” Haruka says, his teeth gritting, “my anything.”

“Not yet, omega,” Endo says, smiling cheerily. Then the alpha stretches his arm over the table, to either pat his head or hit him for his impudence—it wouldn’t be the first time—and Haruka grits his teeth again, leaning away because he doesn’t want to be touched—

Endo’s face is slammed into the table, rattling the plates and cups and utensils.

“You’re annoying me,” Takiishi says coldly, his nails digging mercilessly into Endo’s scalp. 

Endo laughs into the table. Tries to lift his head, until his face is slammed into the table, again.

“Goodness, Takiishi. There’s really no need to be so—”

“Omega,” Takiishi growls, his blazing gold gaze sliding towards Haruka. “Go to your room.”

Haruka gets up. Glares at his brother, then at the back of Endo’s head, before he’s stomping out of the dining hall, ignoring the tittering that follows after him.

After arriving back to his room, Haruka kneels in front of his bucket. Sweat beads his brow. His tongue sits heavy in his mouth.

He vomits. 

Later, after cleaning his hands and mouth in the wash bowl and changing, he tucks back into his futon, his eyelids falling shut.

When he wakes up the next day, he’s eighteen years and one day old.

“Omega,” one of the servants says—an alpha who stares down at Haruka like he’s dirt underneath her sandal. “Lord Takiishi is calling for you.”

Haruka slowly sits up from his futon. Scrubs his eyes, looking up at the servant, frowning.

“Where is he?” Haruka asks.

The servant scoffs; like Haruka was supposed to know the answer, despite the fact that his half-brother’s affairs would be far removed from omegas like Haruka. “Lord Takiishi is in the meeting room, with the clan elders. Don’t keep them waiting.”

The servant exits the room, then, but stands by the door in the hallway. She looks at Haruka expectantly.

Haruka’s body moves. After freshening up using the wash bin, he slowly disrobes himself, pulling on a black kimono hemmed with sakura petals. The material drapes smoothly over his arms, and the sleeves are so long they nearly cover his palms. The obi is the same colour as the petals.

They’re formal robes. Far nicer than anything he’s ever worn before.

After Haruka finishes securing the knot of the obi, he turns back to the servant, who’d been watching him. 

She nods once, before turning her heel and walking down the hallway, her strides long and fast.

Stepping into his geta, he follows her: through the looping hallways, past other snickering servants and clan members, who whisper about his odd eyes and hair like they’ve done hundreds of times before.

About how tiny his wrists are, their eyes hungry.

When they arrive at the conference room, Haruka is hastily ushered inside, the shoji doors sliding shut behind him with a deafening slam.

Haruka lifts his head.

He finds himself at the receiving end of thirteen pairs of eyes: twelve clan elders, and Takiishi, who stares at him from the back of the room, his mouth a flat, stoic line.

Quickly, he lowers his gaze again. Lowers into a clumsy dogeza, his forehead touching the cool tatami floor.

His hands curl tightly over his lap. His blunt nails dig into his long sleeves, which suddenly feel scratchy, heavy against his skin. 

He hears a sigh, to his left.

“Well,” the voice says, deep and disapproving. “At least the omega knows how to do this much.”

“He has poor form,” another elder says. 

“It’s enough,” someone else says. “Bofurin will not expect much from him, so long as he performs his duties.”

Bofurin?

Duties?

Suddenly, footsteps echo in the room, sharp and clacking, deafening on the tatami flooring. 

They stop right in front of Haruka.

“Look at me,” Takiishi’s voice demands.

An alpha command.

Haruka’s heart is racing, beating, rattling against his ribs, and his lungs feel swollen, like they’re about to burst, about to splatter and stain all over the tatami flooring—

Haruka looks up.

Takiishi’s bright, piercing gold eyes stare back at him. Down at him. They look like twin suns, burning into Haruka’s retinas. Blinding him. 

Blindsiding him.

“In one week,” his brother says, “you will marry Lord General Suo Hayato of the Bofurin clan.” 

Chapter Text

That night, Haruka struggles to fall asleep.

He’s curled up on his side atop his futon, still dressed in his formal kimono. He’s shaking. His hands feel numb. His mind races a mile a minute. His heart does, too.

Marriage.

Haruka is going to marry into the Bofurin clan.

Haruka is going to marry Lord General Suo Hayato, a man Haruka knows little of, beyond the whispers and murmurs that he has overheard throughout the years, sitting at the head table in the dining hall:

A strong alpha, loyal to Bofurin and its Feudal Lord.

A frightening alpha, who smiles as he ruthlessly toys with his enemies with an unfamiliar martial art, before cutting them down with his sword.

A sadist, Banjo Kanon, one of his brother’s men who had survived one of Lord General Suo’s interrogations a few months back, had said, reluctantly impressed.

Handsome, Haruka remembers hearing once, from giggling, gossiping servants. Even if he is missing an eye.

When Haruka wakes up, he runs immediately to his bucket in the corner of the room.

He vomits just as his knees hit the tatami floor. Spittles. Nothing material comes out.

He couldn’t bring himself to go to the dining hall after the meeting with his brother and the clan elders. 

Couldn’t bring himself to look at his brother again.

Couldn’t bring himself to put up with any of the usual jeering.

“How weak,” Haruka suddenly hears behind him—followed by a low, mean laugh.

Haruka whips his head around, scowling as he sees Endo leaning against the open doorway. Behind the alpha is a pair of servants, who stare at them blankly.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his kimono sleeve, Haruka growls. “Why are you here?”

“Am I not allowed to visit my favourite omega?”

Haruka wants to throw up again. “You’re not allowed to be here.”

“Not alone, no,” Endo says, gesturing to the servants behind him. 

He then enters the room, his strides long but his steps slow. Prowling.

“I heard,” Endo drawls, “that you’re getting married soon—to, hmm. What was his name again?”

Endo makes a show of pondering, his hand cupping his chin as he makes noises of consideration.

“Ah, yes. Suo Hayato. I remember him well.” He grins at Haruka darkly. “He’s the one who cut Banjo Kanon’s finger off a few months back.”

“He probably deserved it,” Haruka immediately spits.

“He certainly did, for letting himself get bested by someone from Furin,” Endo says. “But that Suo Hayato; even among those fools, he’s strong.” 

He steps further into the room, closer, and Haruka hurriedly steps backwards, towards the window.

Behind Endo, the servants observe Haruka’s struggles stoically.

“Did you know,” Endo drawls, his face leaning over Haruka’s, “that the elders initially wanted you to marry me?”

Bile rises in Haruka’s throat. He feels like ants are crawling over his skin. Under his skin.

He’d suspected. He’d suspected, of course, that he normally would have been married off to an alpha clansman, but to know that alpha could have been Endo, of all people —

“Unfortunately,” Endo continues, “your brother thought the stability of our truce with the Bofurin fools was more important. And so he offered you to Lord Suo Hayato instead.”

“Why,” Haruka says, his head feeling distinctly like it’s wading in static, “are you talking about this?”

Endo smiles at him. Shakes his head. 

“Listen well, omega ,” Endo says, “there’s only one reason why an alpha like Suo Hayato would agree to marry an omega like you.” He steps closer to Haruka, towering over him.

Leers, staring down at Haruka’s pale, smooth neck. His bony clavicle. His wrists, poking out from his kimono sleeves.

“Your body,” he says.

Haruka doesn’t remember Endo leaving.

But when he’s alone again, Haruka finds himself kneeling in front of his bucket again, vomiting bile, his empty stomach screaming in protest.

Later that day, Haruka is interrupted from a fitful nap when the Noroshi’s beta seamstress slides his door open with a loud bang. She enters the room in quick strides and stands over him, frowning deeply at his rumpled state.

“Get up,” she tells him, “and strip.”

Wordlessly, Haruka stands up from his futon. Unties his obi, and all layers of his kimono, letting them fall into a wrinkled heap on the floor.

He shivers. It’s cold.

Swiftly, the woman drapes a string around his naked body, measuring his shoulders, his back, his chest, and Haruka twitches because her hands are cold —

“Omega, stand still.”

Haruka glares up at the beta. “I am.”

“You’re not,” the servant says. “If you keep moving, I will have to tell Lord Takiishi and the elders that you are not cooperating.” Her voice lowers. “They might finally have you whipped this time.”

It’s a bluff. They can’t whip him or visibly damage him in any way, considering the wedding is so soon, and he doubts the alpha he’s marrying would want a bride with scars—

But Haruka complies.

Ignores the feeling of ants crawling up his skin. The biting, impersonal chill of her hands, which lower as she moves the string down.

Suddenly, she tuts, the string cutting into his hip bones. “Too small,” she comments. “How are you going to give Lord General Suo heirs when you’re built like this?”

Heirs, Haruka thinks, bile clinging onto his throat.

For the rest of the week, Haruka stays in his room, trembling underneath his bedsheets. He eats very little; can’t keep much down, if anything at all, and the servants let him be, too busy with the wedding preparations to deal with an irrational bride.

That is, until the day of the wedding.

In the morning, Haruka is dragged out of his futon and brought to the bathhouse, where they strip him of his clothes. He’s scrubbed so hard he swears they scrape off an entire layer of his skin. They mutter about his hair, disgusted in its unruliness. The tangles. The disconcerting, mismatched colours. 

Once they deem him clean, they lie him out against the flat stone next to the bath, and swiftly and methodically wax him everywhere. They then rub oils onto his now bright red body; take extra care not to touch him too much around the folds between his legs in order to preserve his purity.

Afterwards, they usher him back to his room, where they put a minimal amount of make-up on his face—a request from his alpha, apparently—before they slowly dress him.

Much like the kimono he had presented himself in to Takiishi and the clan elders, the one he’s dressed in today is black, with cherry blossom petals stitched around the front folds and hem of the kimono. The outer layer of his obi, which is black, is covered almost entirely with a flurry of cherry blossom petals, while the inner layer, a bright red, peeks out from the top hem. The servants tie it around his back in a large, elaborate knot.

The material itself is silky smooth, and caresses his chafed, irritated skin gently.

It’s a fine kimono. The finest Haruka has ever worn, and probably will ever wear.

After firmly smoothing out his hair and any wrinkles, the servants hurry out of the room, the shoji doors sliding shut behind them.

And Haruka waits, in his room, staring at his reflection in the window; digs his nails into his palms, biting down his nausea.

An hour before the wedding, Takiishi visits.

Takiishi isn’t dressed any differently than he usually is, wearing a dark grey hakama, a black shitagi, and a red haori. At his side is his sword, sheathed at his hip.

For several seconds he doesn’t speak. He just looks at Haruka silently, his mouth a flat line.

Then he opens his mouth,

“It will hurt,” he says. “And they will jeer at you.”

Haruka stares at him.

“Do not look at them. Look only at your alpha.”

After staring at Haruka for a few more seconds, Takiishi turns on his heel.

Leaves.

Early into the evening, the servants usher Haruka into the Noroshi clan’s dedicated ceremonial hall.

As the doors slide open, Haruka can feel his legs going numb. His throat tightening. His heart racing faster.

There’s no running away.

As Haruka steps into the room, the Noroshi clansmen stare at him with varying levels of the usual disgust and lust. The Bofurin clansmen, on the other hand, identifiable by their green haori, stare at Haruka with wide eyes and slightly parted mouths.

But Haruka isn’t focusing on them.

At the very back of the room, in front of a raised dais covered in a white cloth, is a low, dark wooden ceremonial table. 

In front of it stands an alpha.

He’s tall; about a head or so above Haruka. He’s dressed in a black groom’s kimono, with a montsuki dangling from his waist and a grey hakama covering his strong, long legs, a sword sheathed at his hip. Like his clansmen, he’s also wearing a green haori. 

Like his clansmen, he’s staring at Haruka.

Suo Hayato’s lone eye is a dark, intense burgundy red. It matches with his hair, which curls neatly over his forehead and his black leather eyepatch. From his ears, gold tassel earrings swing lightly above strong, broad shoulders, which Haruka stares at for a beat longer than he should.

It takes a moment for Haruka to register that the alpha is smiling gently at him. That the alpha is looking straight into Haruka’s gold and silver eyes, and—

Haruka feels his face heating up. Feels his heart thumping hard in his chest.

Handsome.

The alpha is handsome.

Suddenly, Haruka feels a hand on his back, ushering him forward. 

“Move,” Takiishi says lowly, and Haruka stumbles forward clumsily.

He hears low snickers, from the Noroshi side of the room, and he lowers his head, his face burning red from embarrassment. 

Stupid omega, he hears, and Haruka continues walking forward, his legs lead, his kimono lying heavy over his shoulders. His body.

A ball and chain.

Soon enough, still burning holes into the ground, Haruka is standing beside Suo Hayato, who up close smells faintly of spring rain.

He doesn’t dare look up at him. Doesn’t think he’ll be able to control his flushed, embarrassed face; an unsightly show of gracelessness, for an omega family member of a clan head.

“Kneel,” Haruka hears—the elder overseeing the ceremony, most likely—and he complies, lowering himself onto the small pillow in front of the low ceremonial table. Beside him, Suo Hayato also kneels, his movements near silent.

A bell rings. 

The snickering and jeering from the Noroshi fall silent.

“Today,” the elder speaks, “we are here to witness the formalization of a truce and future alliance between the clans of the Noroshi and Bofurin through the marriage and bonding of two prominent members from each clan: Lord General Suo Hayato of Bofurin, and our clan head’s omega brother, Sakura Haruka of Noroshi.”

“First, we will begin with the oaths. Omega—”

A shiver runs down Haruka’s spine.

“Do you swear to obey your alpha?”

Haruka stares at the cherry blossom pattern on his obi. “I do.”

“Do you swear to be loyal to your alpha?”

“I do.”

“Do you swear to please your alpha?”

“I do.”

“Do you swear to give yourself to your alpha, whenever and however he wishes?”

For a brief second, the sharp scent of a thunderstorm seems to fill the room, but Haruka barely registers it, his heart pounding too loudly in his ears, his fists trembling under his long sleeves. “...I do,” Haruka says, and his voice is barely audible. Quiet. 

Resigned.

“Do you swear to fully dedicate yourself to serving your alpha and your future children?”

Haruka’s stomach roils. “I do.”

“And so it shall be,” the elder says, his voice finalizing. “Now, Lord General Suo Hayato—”

“Do you swear to care for your omega?”

Suo Hayato’s voice is stony. “I do.”

“Do you swear to ensure your omega’s health?”

“I do.”

“Do you swear to discipline your omega as seen fit, should he act out of turn?”

There’s a long pause. 

Deafening silence.

“...Lord General?”

When Suo Hayato finally speaks, his voice is stiff and frigid; as cold as ice. “I do.”

“Do you swear that your omega will remain in your household, even if you take in future concubines?”

“I swear,” Suo says, his voice low and cutting, “that Sakura Haruka will be my only spouse and mate.”

“…and so it shall be,” the elder eventually says, his voice slightly faltering. He recovers quickly. “To seal your vows, please drink from the cups set in front of you.

Haruka’s arms move stiffly, shaking fingers wrapping around the ceramic white cup he hadn’t realized was on the table.

He downs it in one go, barely feeling the burn in his throat. Next to him, Suo Hayato silently does the same, the only indication that he’d done so being the barely audible click of the cup setting back onto the table.

Then—

The ringing, of another bell. This one deafening.

“And now,” the elder says, “it is time for the bedding ceremony.”

Haruka’s head raises just as a servant strips the white sheet off the raised dais, revealing a large white bed, about waist-high. There are no pillows, and there’s not a wrinkle in sight. Beside the base of the bed, on the floor of the dais, a small black plate with incense is hurriedly lit by another servant. 

He stares at the bed, limbs stiff and cold as the crowd behind him erupts into a flurry of whispers: excited, on the Noroshi side.

Mortified and disbelieving, on Bofurin’s.

The bedding ceremony is an old tradition of the Noroshi. Haruka himself has witnessed it only once, right after presenting at fifteen. The elders had seen it fit to educate Haruka on his new status; to get him accustomed to his inevitable future duties.

And now it’s finally Haruka’s turn.

Numbly, Haruka steps onto the dais, staring down at the raised bed before him, covered only in a thin white bedsheet.

Without turning around, he begins stripping. Shaking fingers unknots the obi. Takes off the outer layers of his kimono, letting them fall into an unceremonious heap onto the floor. 

Takes off the white, inner layer.

Soon, Haruka is completely naked.

He ignores the hollering erupting behind him, noticeably from the Noroshi side of the room, and gets onto the bed. 

Closing his eyes, he turns on his back. Spreads his legs, holding the backs of his thighs, exposing his pussy to the cool air.

He’s breathing fast. His heart is screaming in his chest. Cold sweat beads at the nape of his neck.

He feels ill. He wants to vomit. 

It will hurt, Takiishi had said. 

Haruka doesn’t want it to hurt.

They will jeer at you, Takiishi had said.

Haruka doesn’t want to hear their cruel words anymore.

Do not look at them, Takiishi had said.

Look only at your alpha.

Suddenly, warm hands rest on his thighs, just under Haruka’s own. After a beat, they slide up to grasp the underside of Haruka’s shaking knees, steadying them.

Unwillingly, Haruka opens his eyes.

Suo Hayato stands between his legs, his lone red eye unreadable, as dark as magma, staring down at Haruka’s trembling gold and silver ones.

Blocking his view of the mumbling crowd in front of him. 

Haruka doesn’t breathe, as the alpha leans down, his face inches away from Haruka’s. His tassel earrings sway lightly with the movement. The ends of his red hair brush against Haruka’s clammy forehead. 

Haruka stares back up at him. 

His cheeks burn bright red. His heart stammers loudly in his chest. 

“It’ll be okay,” the alpha says, his voice firm, but as gentle as the wind. He speaks so quietly that Haruka barely hears him.

“Just focus on me.”

Then he slides down Haruka’s body. Kisses a jutting rib. The mole on his hip. His stomach.

Kneels in front of the bed.

Tucks his head between Haruka’s trembling thighs.

Chapter Text

Haruka is fifteen when he’s first taught about his future duties as a mated omega.

It’s about a week before he’s dragged to witness his first bedding ceremony, and unlike his other failed “omega” lessons, it’s not a clan elder who educates him.

It’s the wife of one of the elders.

“Your alpha will be cold,” the older omega says very, very quietly, her voice stoic and frigid and touched with sympathy, and Haruka can’t help but listen without his usual biting retorts; can’t help but latch onto the first semblance of warmth he’s experienced since living in this clan, even if her words make him feel ill. “He will ignore you, and expect you to keep to yourself—until he demands that you warm his bed.”

“...warm his bed?” Haruka asks, young and confused, his voice halting. 

The elderly omega looks lost in her thoughts for a moment, her brown eyes nearly translucent, filled with a pain dulled only by the passing of years. The forlorn, almost grief-stricken expression makes Haruka clench the rough material of his kimono so tightly he nearly rips it.

“You will learn,” she tells him. “You will have to.”

Haruka’s heart is pounding loudly in his ears.

He’s never had sex before. Has never been touched before. Has never even touched himself before, at the risk of being beaten and thrown out by the clan.

But he’d been told it’s supposed to hurt: by Takiishi. By the elderly omega. By the clansmen who threatened to visit him in his quarters at night if he kept talking back.

But what Suo Hayato is doing to him doesn’t hurt.

His slender, but broad hands grip Haruka’s thighs, firm but gentle. His lone red eye, hooded and not looking at him, is piercing, burning as hot as one might imagine fire, but not scalding.

His mouth is just as hot, between Haruka’s legs. Gentle, as the flat of his tongue slowly licks up the slick seam between Haruka’s pink folds, and Haruka—

Haruka’s body tingles.

It doesn’t hurt at all.

“What the hell is he doing?” Haruka hears faintly from the crowd, but the harsh words dissipate into nothingness when Suo’s tongue glides along the underside of Haruka’s quivering clit.

When Suo slides his gaze up, his lone red eye dark and intense. Meets Haruka’s flustered stare.

Gently kisses Haruka’s clit, slow and lingering.

Lying nearly flush against the bed, staring back at his alpha, Haruka’s fingers twist into the bedsheets, his heart hammering loudly in his chest. He wants to shout get on with it already and aren’t you supposed to hurt me, but then Suo drags his tongue around his clit in slow, languid circles.

Wraps soft, warm lips around it.

Sucks.

Lightning-hot pleasure runs up his spine, and Haruka’s fingers twist harder in the bedsheets. He would have squirmed against the bed if it weren’t for the alpha’s firm but gentle grip on his thighs, keeping his legs open.

Would have moaned loudly, sounding exactly like the wanton omega that the clansmen expect him to be, if he hadn’t bitten his lip to muffle his voice. 

Suo suckles again, his tongue tracing his slit, and Haruka nearly cries.

It feels good.

It feels good.

It feels good and Haruka didn’t know that it could feel this way, didn’t know that it was allowed to feel this way—

Something warm pools in his gut, and he feels hot flashes rush through his body, feels a buzzing in his head and he’s twitching, whimpering, something warm and wet leaking from his pussy and at first he feels scared that he had pissed himself, that the alpha is going to be mad at Haruka and hit him like he’s seen some of the clansmen do to their wives, but that doesn’t happen.

That doesn’t happen. 

Suo is still kneeling between his legs. Is suckling at his cunt, is swallowing whatever it was that had come out of him gladly.

Then, with a final lick up the seam between his pink, slick folds, Suo kisses the bud of Haruka’s clit once more, before he’s leaning over, kissing Haruka’s inner thigh, slow and lingering.

His piercing red gaze never leaves Haruka’s wide, trembling gold and silver eyes.

Haruka doesn’t understand.

This is supposed to hurt, and Haruka doesn’t understand.

The crowd doesn’t appear to understand either.

What the hell is taking him so long?

This should be over by now.

Shut the hell up! He'll hear you!

In front of him, slowly, Suo rises. Bends down over Haruka’s body, placing his elbow beside Haruka’s shoulder, his other hand trailing down Haruka’s chest and stomach before resting on his mound, his ring finger a breath away from his still-quivering clit. Their faces are barely an inch apart.

“Did that hurt?” Suo asks lowly, quietly. His nose brushes lightly against Haruka’s.

Haruka wonders if it’s a trick question. If it was supposed to hurt, actually, and Haruka is the freak who found the touch pleasurable.

He shakes his head, his hair tugging against the bedsheets.

Suo smiles at him, and Haruka’s breath catches in his throat. “Good,” he says. He leans down. 

Kisses the corner of Haruka’s mouth, soft and gentle.

“I would kiss you properly,” Suo murmurs against his skin, “but that, at the very least, I wish to indulge in behind closed doors.”

Haruka’s face burns bright red. But before he can say anything back—a confused croak, or a too-honest why— Suo is kissing the other corner of his mouth. His flushed cheeks. His lower eyelids, stained with the remnants of tears. His hot forehead.

“I’m going to put my fingers inside you,” Suo whispers between Haruka’s fringe, his free hand lowering down the mound, fingers sliding between Haruka’s slick folds again. Haruka gasps, when Suo rubs light circles over his pulsating clit. “I promise I’ll make you feel good.”

Haruka doesn’t respond, confused. 

“If it hurts,” Suo continues, pressing a kiss against Haruka’s temple, “Tell me.”

Then he’s sinking a finger into Haruka’s cunt, all the way up to the knuckle, and Haruka whimpers quietly at the strange intrusion, his eyes screwing shut.

It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s foreign.

After a beat, another warm finger slips inside, and Haruka’s hole clenches uncomfortably. 

“It’s okay,” Suo soothes, kissing panicked tears away from the corners of Haruka’s eyes. He leans his forehead against Haruka’s. “You’re doing well.”

Suo sinks his fingers in deeper. Grinds the heel of his palm against Haruka’s clit, sending electricity down Haruka’s spine. Curls his fingers strangely, hitting something soft and spongy inside of him, and Haruka gasps loudly.

That felt… good.

He moans quietly, when Suo’s fingers brush against the spot again. 

And again. 

And again.

By the time Suo slips a third finger inside, Haruka barely notices. His head is fuzzy. His body is warm.

Suo Hayato is warm.

Suo Hayato’s slender fingers are curled deep, deep inside him when Haruka’s body twitches violently, his hips grinding up against Suo’s hand as something warm and wet seems to leak from his hole again, and Haruka freezes, mortified.

The first time his alpha had excused. But the second time—

“Did it feel good?” Suo quietly asks, and Haruka nods, forcing his eyes open—

Blushes darker, when he sees his alpha smiling gently down at him.

“I’m glad,” Suo says, slowly sliding his fingers out from Haruka, resting his hand over Haruka’s stomach, massaging him gently, and Haruka thinks, for a moment, that things are going to be okay; that Haruka will walk out of the room tonight with little to no pain.

Then Suo’s smile drops.

“I have to be inside, now,” Suo says quietly, his expression solemn and serious.

“...I know,” Haruka mumbles, his heart hammering in his chest. They’re the first words he’s spoken to his alpha since meeting him. “They told me.”

Suo nods, his expression darkening. “So they have,” he murmurs, his face easing into something more neutral as he gets up from the bed, standing upright in front of it. He rests both his hands on Haruka’s thighs, spreading them open a little wider.

Adjusts them, so they’re wrapping around Suo’s waist; leans down briefly to kiss Haruka's cheek, close to his mouth.

Sitting up a little, Haruka watches silently, then, as Suo slips his slender hand into the folds of his kimono.

Takes his cock out.

Haruka stares at it, panic rising in his throat again.

It won’t fit.

Suo’s fingers alone had already felt big. How was he going to fit?

It will hurt, Takiishi had said.

You will learn, the elderly omega had said.

It doesn’t hurt, his mother had told him when he was six and found her naked and crying and bleeding on her futon, and Haruka wants to curl in on himself, hide his face in the bedsheets and cry—

Suo is suddenly leaning over him again. Brushing tears away from his eyes, pressing soothing kisses over his face. 

“I’m sorry,” Suo tells him. “I’m sorry. It’s going to be okay.” Lowering Haruka back onto the bed, he kisses Haruka, again, over his paling cheeks and the corners of his mouth, and some of Haruka’s panic recedes. “I’ll do my best to make you feel good.”

Suo then slides his hand into Haruka’s. Intertwines their fingers.

Adjusts his cock with his other hand, so that the thick head grinds between Haruka’s folds. Kisses Haruka’s clit. His slick entrance.

Then Suo is slowly sliding his cock into Haruka’s cunt.

Haruka whimpers. Stops breathing, squeezing Suo’s hand in a near death-grip. His mismatched eyes are trained on Suo’s cock, watching the distance between them gradually shorten, his cunt twitching painfully from the stretch, and soon enough Haruka is full, stuffed to the brim and Haruka thinks he’s going to—

Suo stops moving. Squeezes Haruka’s hand against the bedsheets, his free hand sliding soothingly up and down Haruka’s trembling thigh.

“Haruka-kun,” Suo says quietly. “You have to breathe, sweetheart.”

“C-can’t,” Haruka rasps, his voice barely audible, his throat tight. “I can’t—”

Suo leans down swiftly, his tassel earrings swaying with the movement, kissing Haruka’s ear.

“Put your arms around me,” he says softly. 

Haruka whimpers, but complies, winding both his arms around Suo’s neck, holding him tightly.

“Hurts,” he whimpers, and Haruka feels weak, for admitting it out loud, “it hurts—”

“I won’t move,” Suo says firmly, his solemn lone red eye locked on Haruka’s teary gold and silver ones. “Take as long as you need.”

And so they stay still, for several moments.

Staring at each other.

Haruka breathes shallowly, twitching against the bedsheets, desperately trying to ignore the fiery, pulsating pain in his pussy. 

Above him, Suo is silent. He’s rubbing both his hands up and down Haruka’s trembling thighs. Consoling him. Comforting him. He doesn’t so much as move a breath, as he had promised—

—things the alpha doesn’t have to do, for an omega like him.

Haruka squeezes his arms tighter around Suo’s neck. Stifles the tears pin pricking his eyes. The pain stinging in his gut. “...move,” he says.

“...Haruka-kun—”

“Move,” Haruka repeats, desperation clinging like bile to his throat. “Get it over with, please.”

Suo’s face twists with both pain and understanding. “Okay,” he says. 

He moves, painfully slow. Pulls out halfway, before thrusting carefully back into him.

Haruka clings tightly onto Suo, his nails clawing into the alpha’s shoulders and his heels digging into Suo’s back, tears stinging his eyes as he continues to thrust into him.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts—

One of Suo’s hands swiftly lowers, towards Haruka’s clit.

Rubs gentle, soothing, circles, and a shock of pleasure rushes up Haruka’s spine, and Suo keeps thrusting, as he continues rubbing Haruka, whispering sweet nothings into Haruka’s ear—

You’re doing so well.

You’re such a lovely boy.

I’ll take good care of you.

Soon enough, more slick drips from Haruka’s cunt, making the slide easier, and eventually the pain seems to dull, a haze of pleasure overtaking his body, as Suo’s gentle, gentle fingers keep rubbing him, and Suo—

Leans down. Tucks his face into Haruka’s neck. 

Kisses his rapidly beating pulse. 

Kisses his neck, again. 

A familiar warmth pools in Haruka’s gut again. Pulsates, whenever Suo ruts into him, his thrusts rhythmic, now, a little faster, a little less selfless but Haruka doesn’t mind so much, his head turning into mush, his pussy producing more and more slick and it feels good, again, and Haruka wishes it had felt this way earlier too but it’s not Suo’s fault that it’s his first time and Haruka’s whimpers soon turn into moans, which turn into please’s and more’s and overwhelmed sobbing—

Suddenly, Suo slows. Gently unwinds Haruka’s arms and legs from his body, before turning Haruka onto his stomach, tugging him backwards so that Haruka is standing shakily on the dais, bent over slightly, his arms braced against the bed. Suo stands behind him, leaning forward against Haruka’s bare back.

Haruka grips the bedsheets tightly, his body trembling as Suo rocks into him once more before stilling, one hand lowering to hold Haruka’s hand tightly against the bed and another wrapping around Haruka’s waist, pressing his back flush against Suo’s chest.

Then Haruka feels it. 

Something expanding, inside him; carving into space that Haruka doesn’t quite have, and Haruka whimpers, gripping Suo’s hand bruisingly because it hurts, it hurts, it hurts so badly, feels like he’s tearing up, like his insides are tearing apart, and when Haruka thinks he’s going to be torn in half he feels something hot and sticky fill up his cunt, stuffing him even fuller than he thought was possible and he thinks he can taste it all the way up in his throat but before he could sob or gag Suo’s fingers gently roll over his clit and his body seizes and he shudders against Suo, sobbing, the sudden lightning-hot rush of pleasure just barely dulling some of the pain and he sags against Suo, whimpering—

It takes Haruka a moment to register that Suo is speaking to him.

“I’m going to bite you now, sweetheart,” Suo is saying, his voice low and firm, his grip around Haruka’s waist tightening. “That’s the last thing we need to do and then I can take you home—”

And what will happen, Haruka thinks hazily, his throat tight and his body shaking with tremors, when Suo takes him home? Will Suo keep him locked up in his room? Will Suo only visit him to use his body, for pleasure and to bear his future children? Will Haruka waste away? Will Suo find another omega and throw him away? Will Haruka be alone again—

Haruka doesn’t realize he’s crying quietly until Suo makes a low, wounded noise behind him, and soon Suo’s mouth is on the nape of his neck, pressing searing kisses against his skin. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Kiss. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

Kiss. 

“I’ll never hurt you again.” 

Kiss.

Then the alpha’s teeth start grazing his mating gland at the back of his neck, and Haruka’s breath quickens, his body seizing in Suo’s firm, gentle hold, readying himself for the pain—

But it doesn’t come.

A hot, pinprick pressure sinks into Haruka’s skin, and his vision whitens from the wave of pleasure that floods his veins; Haruka feels like he’s standing in the aftermath of a thunderstorm, raindrops kissing his eyelashes and caressing his skin, seeping inside of him, whispering sweet nothings into his bones and it’s a cool, soothing sensation but it makes Haruka feel unbearably warm, the pain in his gut and in his cunt and in his head fading into an echoing ache, and Haruka’s legs would have given up on him from the whiplash of pain-pleasure if Suo hadn’t been holding him up so firmly, if his knot hadn’t been tying them together—

Suo smoothly takes his teeth out, lapping at the bleeding bondmark gently. Carefully.

“I’m sorry,” Haruka faintly hears Suo repeat against Haruka’s trembling neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Suo licks at the bite tenderly, apologetically.

Kisses the tears away from Haruka’s gold and silver eyes, his mouth imprinting more apologies onto his skin.

Five minutes.

They’re tied together for five minutes before Suo’s knot eases, and Suo slides out of Haruka slowly. Carefully. Gently. By the time they're separated, something hot and sticky drips out from Haruka’s weeping cunt and onto the dais—whether it’s blood or cum or slick, he doesn’t know—but he barely registers it.

Haruka is barely conscious, right now, his body aching and exhausted and his mind intoxicated by his alpha’s scent.

By their new bond.

Slowly, Suo lies Haruka back out on the bed. Tucks himself back into the folds of his kimono. Takes his haori off, draping it over Haruka’s naked, shivering body. 

Then Suo leans over the bed. Kisses Haruka’s flushed, tear-stained cheeks. His drooping eyelids. His wet eyelashes. The corners of his trembling mouth.

“One moment, sweetheart,” he murmurs, before he stands up, his mouth a thin line and his lone red eye unreadable.

Turns back towards the silent crowd.

“Get out,” Suo says, his voice low and bitingly cold—

And that’s all Haruka hears as the world darkens around him, his eyes weakly fluttering closed.

Chapter Text

Haruka jolts awake to throbbing, indescribable pain.

Whimpering, he turns to his side, his sore arms moving up to wrap around his abdomen from underneath the dark green haori he’s lying under, his knees curling up to his chest.

It hurts, he thinks, gasping. It hurts. It hurts—

A gentle, warm hand presses against his heated forehead. Haruka shivers, immediately relaxing under the calming touch.

“Haruka-kun,” he hears above him, and Haruka pries his eyes open, blinking up blearily at his alpha, who smiles softly down at him, his lone red eye impossibly gentle. “Does it hurt?”

Breathing a little harshly, Haruka nods, and the alpha flips his palm upright, pressing warm knuckles gently against Haruka’s forehead; makes a low sound at the back of his throat, and at first Haruka thinks he’s growling, that his alpha is upset with him, but he doesn’t smell sour or angry, so Haruka is—

Confused.

Confused, and in pain.

Soon, Suo silently retracts his hand, and Haruka whimpers again, at the loss of the comforting touch, his nails digging crescent moons into his stomach. 

Dimly, he wonders if he did something bad, to make his alpha stop touching him. He wouldn’t be surprised. 

Haruka knows that he’s not a good omega. He’s been told time and time again.

“Haruka-kun,” Suo says softly, and suddenly there’s a warm, damp washcloth brushing against his temple. “Can I clean you?” Suo slowly guides the cloth up to Haruka’s heated forehead. “Or would you rather clean yourself?”

At this, Haruka shakes a little. 

He doesn’t want to touch himself, like this. Is afraid, of what he might see between his legs, misshapen and wrecked and ruined as it probably looks—

So he presses his head into his alpha’s hand. Whimpers.

Suo understands the unspoken message. “Okay, sweetheart,” he says softly. “If there’s anything you don’t like, please tell me.”

Shakily, Haruka nods, slowly rolling onto his back, stretching out his sore legs.

After a beat, Suo rests his hands over the edge of the haori, and Haruka flinches, wary of exposing himself again, even if the only person who can see him is his alpha, whose larger, taller body blocks him from the clansmen in the audience —

Suo notices his anxiety. He rests his hands on Haruka’s thighs, squeezing them gently through the haori. “It’s just you and me,” he soothes, and Haruka blinks wildly, untensing, finally registering the lack of voices, the lack of putrid scents around him—

Remembers Suo’s scathing, but somehow comforting get out—

(What exactly happened afterwards—?)

Staring up at his alpha, Haruka makes sure to lie still as Suo slowly removes the haori from his body; watches Suo drape it back over his strong, broad shoulders, guiding his arms through the sleeves.

His lone red eye never once leaves Haruka’s pale face.

“I need to touch you, now,” Suo warns, and Haruka nods; manages to only flinch a little bit as Suo lifts the washcloth again, carefully adjusting him as he wipes his face; his neck, avoiding Haruka’s lightly stinging bondmark; his chest; his stomach; his back; his hips; his ass; his legs, which tremble under Suo’s far too gentle touch.

Then, Suo is kneeling on the dais, between Haruka’s legs; takes out a new, dampened washcloth, presumably from a bowl he’s keeping nearby.

“I’m going to wipe you down there now,” he says softly, and Haruka nods slightly—

Bites down a gasp of pain as Suo carefully glides the cloth over his bruised folds. Whimpers, as Suo slowly wipes off cooled, sticky fluid. From the thickness alone, Haruka realizes that it must be his alpha’s cum—or perhaps even a mixture of his alpha’s release, Haruka’s own slick, and blood from tearing, because Suo’s knot had been huge and Haruka is so small—

Suo’s hand retreats, and Haruka hears the sound of swishing water. 

After a moment, the cloth returns—

This time pressing over the entrance of his cunt.

“Ah—” Haruka cries out, and Suo’s other hand reaches up, gently squeezing his thigh in apology.

“I’m sorry,” Suo says softly. “Just bear with me a little longer.”

He lightly presses the cloth against Haruka’s cunt again, soaking up the rest of the fluids that slowly drip out of him. 

His alpha’s touch is clinical. Careful.

Even then, Haruka can feel his pussy throbbing in both pain, yet a small part of him wants to lean into the warmth of his alpha’s warm hand. Wants to feel Suo’s gentle, warm fingers without a barrier in between, even if it does hurt—

Soon, Suo is folding the cloth, dropping it back into the wash bowl with a muted splash.

“That’s good enough for now,” Suo says, standing back up. “Can you stand up for me, sweetheart?”

Haruka nods shakily. Wrenches his fingers tightly against the bedsheets. Tries to sit up.

Tries.

It’s hard to breathe. His legs feel like jelly. His core aches horribly, and even trying to shift his back hurts and he can’t get up— why the hell is he so weak—

Smoothly, Suo slides one arm under Haruka’s back and another underneath his knees. In seconds he’s lifting Haruka up, and Haruka is doused, for a second, in his alpha’s soothing spring rain scent; would have buried his nose in Suo’s chest if the alpha hadn’t moved to slowly, slowly set Haruka onto his feet on the dais. 

Now standing upright, his back facing his alpha, Haruka shakes, like a newborn foal, immediately scrambling to brace himself against the edge of the bed, his knees nearly buckling.

Behind him, Suo carefully drapes the underlayer of Haruka’s previously discarded kimono over his body, folding it neatly over Haruka’s chest. Drapes the overlayer. Then he’s tying Haruka’s obi securely around his waist, deft fingers making an elaborate knot.

His touch is careful. Impersonal, but not cold. It’s a far cry from how the tailor who had measured him touched him, how the servants had dressed him with the very same kimono mere hours before—

“There,” Suo murmurs, smoothly straightening out the wrinkles in the obi, his hands resting gently on Haruka’s hips. He leans down, then, and Haruka freezes as Suo seems to stop right in front of Haruka’s raw bondmark, which throbs, slightly, at the nape of his neck. 

Suo seems to hesitate, for a moment.

Then he’s leaning forward, slowly but firmly lapping at the bite. 

Biting down a gasp, Haruka melts back against his alpha. Slowly, the dull throbbing and stinging that Haruka hadn’t realized he was feeling starts ebbing away.

It feels… strange. But it’s not uncomfortable, and it doesn’t hurt. Haruka wonders if this is just a side effect of their bond; if it’s supposed to be natural, for bonded omegas to feel so comfortable with their alphas.

The clan elders never said anything about this. Nor did the elderly omega, whose eyes had been so sad when they weren’t carefully empty.

With one last languid lick, followed by a soft, gentle kiss that makes Haruka’s breath catch in his throat, Suo moves his head back.

“Can you walk?” Suo asks.  

Haruka bites his lip, worrying it so much he nearly starts bleeding. He’s not sure—he can barely even stand, as he is now, aching terribly and on the verge of collapsing—but a part of him stubbornly wants to try.

So he steps out of Suo’s hold. Avoids his alpha’s gaze and lets go of the edge of the mattress, forcing his legs to move, as useless as they feel—

Abruptly, a piercing pain rises from between his thighs, and Haruka shakes violently as his legs seem to give out from underneath him —

Suo smoothly catches him around the waist, his large hand splaying over Haruka’s tender stomach. “May I carry you?”

Weakly, Haruka nods, and Suo’s arm wraps firmly under his back, the other following in suit to tuck under his buckling knees, and the alpha carefully lifts Haruka up. Adjusts him, so that Haruka’s head is lying comfortably against his alpha’s shoulder.

Walks them out the ceremonial hall doors.

The corridors are sparse. Only servants seem to remain in the premises, and even they are demure, tucking themselves away from Haruka and his alpha.

Even then, Haruka hears the whispers.

That’s him?

That’s Lord General Suo Hayato!

The master’s brother is lucky…

Lucky—

Lucky omega—

What a lucky omega—

Suo smiles down at Haruka. “You’ll like it, when we get home,” he says, and Haruka blinks rapidly at the sincere, firm use of the word home, his heart hammering hard in his chest, the words of the servants fading away from his consciousness.

“My estate isn’t nearly as large as this one, but the gardens are lovely,” Suo continues. His smile seems to soften even more. “I was thinking of building another one for you.”

Haruka wants to open his mouth. Wants to ask why. Wants to say that’s unnecessary, that gardens are only for favoured omegas and even though his mother was supposedly favoured in the same way, once, it clearly didn’t last long—

“Do you like flowers, Haruka-kun?”

Haruka stares up at Suo; clutches the front of his alpha’s dark green haori. “I guess,” he says, not sure what he’s supposed to say. He’s spent much of his life looking at the garden outside his window, and liked seeing the flowers slowly change throughout the seasons, breaking some of the monotony in his otherwise dull life.

Suo doesn’t seem to mind. “Perhaps not flowers for your garden, then,” Suo says amicably. Smiles, this time teasing; it’s the first time Haruka has seen the man make such an open expression. “What do you think of cherry blossom trees?”

“Cherry blossom trees,” Haruka repeats, his face pinking. 

Suo grins down at him. “It’s fitting.”

Cliche, Haruka thinks, his face turning a darker shade of red, under the alpha’s odd, affectionate gaze—unrestrained, compared to the gentle smile he had sent Haruka’s way at the beginning of the ceremony, and a far cry from the painfully reassuring expression Suo had given him while kissing away Haruka’s tears, slowly rocking into Haruka’s trembling body; as he continued kissing him sweetly, all over his face, simultaneously slowing down and worsening Haruka’s hummingbird heart—

Soon enough, they reach the end of the corridor. A servant hurriedly opens the doors out of the building, Suo carefully carrying Haruka over the threshold, and Haruka stares, dazedly, at the distantly familiar sight in front of him: Brilliant green grass. The darkening, purple sky. A garden of rocks that Haruka has only seen through the window—

And his older brother, who stands sentinel by the edge of the stone pathway below them; who Haruka hasn’t seen outside of the main compound building since he stopped Haruka from running away, all those years ago.

Takiishi swiftly strides towards them, stopping at the foot of the steps. 

“Your people are waiting beyond the gates,” Takiishi says to Haruka’s alpha, his gaze only pausing briefly to meet Haruka’s gold and silver eyes before he turns back to Haruka’s alpha. 

“Thank you, Chika-sama,” Suo says politely. “Will we be expecting you next month?”

Haruka blinks up at his alpha in confusion, and Suo smiles back down so sweetly at Haruka that his face flushes. 

“It’s customary,” Suo continues, “for the head alpha of the family to visit their omega family member a month after the mating ceremony.”

“Is that so?” Takiishi muses. “For what purpose does that serve?”

Suo’s smile turns marginally colder. “Should you find my treatment of your brother lackluster, you are within your rights to take my head from my neck. Similarly, if not for the protection of your traditions—”

“—I would have beheaded each and every one of your clansmen, for laying their unwanted eyes on my omega’s naked body.” 

Haruka, shocked and panicking, stares up wide-eyed at his alpha’s scarily calm face, while Takiishi—

Laughs.

Grins, wild and untamed.

Haruka has never seen his brother so delighted; has never seen him this lively since they were still children and unpresented, when Takiishi would let him watch his spars with alpha clansmen.

That had stopped, after Haruka’s mother died.

“Until next month, then,” Takiishi says, his burning twin-sun eyes sliding over to Haruka, who clutches the front of Suo’s haori tightly, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. 

Haruka would have wrinkled the material badly, if it weren’t for Suo’s hold around him suddenly tightening more securely, the warmth of the alpha’s hand around the side of his waist oddly grounding.

Comforting. 

Takiishi steps forward, then. Leans down close next to Haruka’s temple, barely a breath away.

“Goodbye, Sakura,” he says, so quietly that Haruka strains his ears to hear him.

“Be good.”

Chapter Text

Suo carries Haruka out of the compound, the gates slamming shut behind them with a deafening boom.

“The journey will be long,” Suo says, his gentle voice thick with apology. “But we’ll be staying at an inn tonight. You’ll get to have some rest.”

“Okay,” Haruka says quietly, not sure why Suo is telling him this.

“I was hoping,” Suo continues, “at that point, we could have you checked out properly by the healer who came along with us.”

Haruka shifts uneasily. “Why not have me get checked back in the ceremonial room?” he manages.

Suo’s smile strains minutely. He navigates them neatly through the forest outside of the compound, following a narrow trail presumably towards where the Bofurn clan members are waiting. “I mean no insult to your clan,” Suo says, “but I… worry… for the actions I might have committed if we stayed a moment longer.”

Haruka doesn’t know what to say to that, so he stays silent—

At least until Suo stops in front of a clearing. Haruka can see people standing around, their Bofurin green haori nearly blending in with the forest around them. They’re chattering quietly with each other. They don’t seem to notice them.

Lifting Haruka up a bit higher, Suo smoothly leans down, whispering into Haruka’s ear:

“They will be a bit of a rowdy bunch,” he says, “but they’re kind. You have nothing to worry about.”

They saw me strip naked, Haruka doesn’t say. They watched you mate me.

Or perhaps they hadn’t, Haruka thinks, a little foolishly, clutching at the front of Suo’s wedding kimono tightly. They had seemed queasy during the ceremony. It wouldn’t be surprising if they had looked away; or maybe Suo’s body had been big enough to block most of him—

“Suo,” a deep, but gentle voice says, and Haruka looks up, catching a glimpse of white hair, broad shoulders, and sharp blue eyes, before he’s looking down again, his gaze focusing on a wrinkle in the sleeve of his kimono.

“It’s good to see you back,” the voice continues.

“Thank you, Umemiya-sama,” Suo says, smiling neatly. He shifts Haruka in his arms, tucking him more closely against his chest. 

“This is Sakura Haruka,” he says. “My spouse and omega. Haruka-kun,” he nods towards the man in front of them, and Haruka reluctantly follows his gaze, “this is Lord Umemiya-sama. He is the Head of the Bofurin clan and the leader of our territory.”

Haruka’s heart drops in his throat.

Lord.

He tries to climb out of Suo’s arms—he should be prostrating, right now—but Suo doesn’t let him so much as budge, tightening his reassuring grip around Haruka.

“There is no need for that,” Umemiya says, noticing Haruka’s movements, and Haruka looks up.

Meets kind blue eyes. An intimidating smile.

Umemiya smiles politely. “You’re family, after all.”

Family.

That means—

Nothing, to Haruka. Not really.

But he bows his head anyway—knows how to be polite, despite what his past tutors might say—and he tucks his head back against his alpha’s chest, keeping his gaze lowered as the alphas continue speaking.

“Did the others wait for long?” Haruka hears Suo ask.

“Not any longer than they expected to,” Umemiya says. “Although—they do seem to be eager to go home.”

Suo smiles easily. “Anyone would be, in their place,” he says. 

“Shall we go ahead, then?” Suo raises one of his hands, his thumb gently stroking Haruka’s cheek. Haruka pinks; forgets the pulsating pain still beating between his legs, for a moment.

“The sooner we face the music,” Suo continues, smiling sweetly down at Haruka, “the sooner we can start traveling.”

When Suo walks further into the clearing, Haruka still tucked securely in his arms and flanked by Umemiya, the small crowd of Bofurin clansmen go quiet.

Then one of them, a beta with blond hair and a smattering of freckles, stumbles forward.

Bows.

“Welcome back, Suo-san!” he shouts.

The rest of the silence seems to break like a dam.

“Welcome back!”

“Welcome back, Suo-sama!”

“Welcome back, General!”

Suo smiles. Laughs, a little, at the increasing volume of the clansmen, who practically clamber towards them. Haruka stares up at his alpha—he doesn't think he’s heard Suo laugh like this before; doesn’t think he’s heard Suo laugh before at all. “Ah. Hello, everyone,” Suo says. “It’s good to be back.” He looks back down at Haruka, smiling reassuringly, before his cool gaze returns to the crowd. “Everyone, please greet my omega—Sakura Haruka -sama.”

Immediately, the men drop into kneels, bowing their heads. 

Haruka’s face turns bright red. He’s never—no one has ever bowed to him like this, before.

“We’re pleased to meet you, Sakura-sama!” the same blond haired beta from before shouts, his head still bowed to the ground. “I am Nirei Akihiko, your husband’s right-hand man! It’s an honour to meet you!”

Face burning even hotter, it occurs to Haruka that he should respond.

“Hi,” he manages, his grip tightening around the front of his alpha’s kimono. He opens his mouth, trying to figure out what to say. Closes it.

He’s—

Flustered.

He should be the one bowing. He should be the one prostrating.

Why are the Bofurin clansmen doing this for him? Especially after they had seen him debase himself in the ceremonial room —

“...nice to meet you too,” Haruka finally finishes, and the smile that Suo sends his way makes him hurriedly avert his gaze.

“Shall we get going then?” Suo says. Smiles charmingly. “I was hoping we could make it to the inn before sundown.”

“Of course,” Umemiya says. He claps his hands together, smiling just as easily. “In the morning, let’s all have a nice meal together there, hmm?”

A few minutes later, Suo is kneeling on the grass, carefully depositing Haruka into a wooden red palanquin, atop a dark, emerald-green pillow. With equally gentle hands, he rearranges Haruka’s legs so that they’re loosely crossed together.

“Does this position hurt?” Suo asks. 

It stings a little. “No,” Haruka says.

Suo looks at him for a moment. “We’ll take as many breaks as we can,” he says gently, closing the door to the palanquin shut before moving to stand up—

“Where are you going?” Haruka blurts out, before flushing bright red, covering his stupid mouth with the sweeping sleeve of his kimono.

Suo smiles at him. “I’ll be riding right beside you,” he says. “Don’t worry so much. Just try to sit back and relax, okay?”

Haruka nods stiffly, stifling the pinch of worry that rises in his gut when Suo gets up; stifles a small yelp, when the palanquin is suddenly raised, his hands immediately outstretching to grasp at the wooden walls on either side of his head to steady himself.

“Are you alright?” Suo’s easygoing voice rings nearby, and Haruka turns, looking up and out the small window of the palanquin.

From his mount on his horse, Suo smiles back down at him, his lone red eye soft and glimmering. The evening sunlight also hits Suo’s hair just right; makes it look like he’s haloed by fire.

“I-I’m fine,” Haruka stammers, his face pinking again. 

Suo nods. Smiles.

It’s gentle. Soft. Sweet.

Haruka’s hands lower back over his lap. He clutches at the smooth material of his kimono. Averts his gaze from his alpha.

Pretends he doesn’t hear his alpha’s soft, amused laughter, which echoes in the crisp evening air.

For the next few hours, Suo quietly rides beside Haruka, his gaze focused on the road in front of them. By the third hour, he speaks to the clansmen holding the palanquin; asking if they want to take a break again, or if they need any water or want to be switched out.

“Don’t insult us, my lord,” one of the clansmen, Masaki Anzai—whose name Haruka had overheard in the bannermen’s chatter with one another—says this time. “Your mate is as light as a feather.”

At the comment, Haruka frowns, but stays silent. Stares, at his slim, pale wrists, which poke out from his sleeves.

Although he’s hungry, he’s not looking forward to the meal tonight. 

“Haruka-kun,” Haruka hears, and he turns his head again, looking up at his alpha. “We’ll be at the inn soon.”

Haruka nods, resting his hands over his ankles. He squeezes them a bit, trying to regain the feeling back in his legs.

Ignores the increasingly pulsating pain between his legs.

Soon enough, they arrive at the inn. The clansmen set the palanquin down, and from the small window Haruka watches Suo get off his horse, patting its dark mane gently before he steps towards the palanquin. 

Kneels down.

“Hello, my bride,” he says, his smile teasing, and Haruka flushes. 

“D-Don’t call me that,” he says, barely stifling a hiss, and Suo laughs a little. 

“Of course,” Suo says readily. “My apologies.” He opens the door of the palanquin, and stretches his arms inside, tucking one hand under Haruka’s knees, and the other behind his back securely. He lifts Haruka out, then, carefully tucking Haruka’s head against his chest.

“Let’s head on inside first,” he says. He nods at the other clansmen. “Thank you for your hard work.”

“Of course, General!”

“Leave it to us!”

“Have a good night Suo-sama, Sakura-sama!”

“Goodnight, you two.” 

The last person who had spoken was Umemiya, who, like Suo, looks as unruffled as ever, not a single wrinkle on his haori and kimono. He’s still on his horse, looking down at them with his odd, easy-going smile.

Noticing Haruka’s gaze, Umemiya winks. “Don’t have too much fun.”

Haruka turns bright red.

Suo shakes his head. Smiles genially back at the Head before he’s hiking Haruka up higher in his arms, bracing Haruka’s weight against his elbow. Then he’s weaving past the Bofurin clansmen, opening the door to the inn and carrying Haruka inside.

The young beta woman at the front desk immediately stands up, bowing.

“Lord General,” she says, her head still held low. “We were expecting your arrival. Please follow me to your room.” 

“Thank you,” Suo says, and the woman guides them down the hallway, up the stairs and towards the row of rooms. She walks to the end of the hall, swiftly opening the doors for them.

“We are preparing a meal for you and your men,” the woman says. “We will be bringing them up shortly.”

“Thank you,” Suo says. Enters the room, carrying Haruka swiftly over the threshold, and the woman bows again, sliding the door shut before hurriedly padding away, presumably to escort the other clansmen to their rooms—

Leaving Haruka and Suo alone together.

“...you can put me down now,” Haruka mumbles, and Suo sends him a smile. 

“As you wish,” he says, walking towards the large futon laid out in the middle of the room. He lays Haruka down on the smooth, cool white sheets. Immediately, Haruka outstretches his legs, his bare ankles digging into the sheets, resisting the urge to clutch uneasily at his stomach. 

The space between his legs hurts.

“Haruka-kun,” Suo says, his voice gentle. Soft. “Are you okay with seeing a physician now?”

Haruka looks up at him. “...I,” he says. “I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Suo says. “Can I bring you something instead, then?”

Slowly, Haruka nods, and Suo stands up, leaving the room.

He comes back no less than ten minutes later, holding a small jar of a pale-looking substance, as well as a wooden washbowl and a few rolls of cloth. He sets them all on the futon.

“Wipe yourself down with these,” Suo says, gesturing to the cloth and washbowl. He then picks up the small jar. “And then, ah, you need to apply this inside. It’ll help with the pain.” He smiles gently down at Haruka, who stares back at him with slightly panicked eyes. “If you need anything, I’ll just be outside.”

He moves to stand up, then, evidently going to stand outside of the room to give Haruka space, but Haruka hurriedly sits up, grabbing Suo’s sleeve.

Suo tilts his head. “Haruka-kun?”

Turning bright red, Haruka lets Suo go, his hand lowering back to his side like he had been burned.

“...can you do it instead?” 

Suo pauses, for a moment, his gaze on Haruka unbearably tender, and Haruka’s face flushes. 

“I don’t,” Haruka says. “I don’t—”

Bruised, purpled, trembling fingers. 

Stinging wrists.

A bright red, stinging cheek.

Omegas, a clan elder tells him, do not touch themselves—

Haruka closes his mouth. Looks away. 

Doesn’t raise his head, until he feels gentle fingers gliding along his waist; as he feels them smoothly untie the obi, and opens the folds of both his kimono and the underlayer. 

Haruka shivers at the coldness of the air against his skin.

“Haruka-kun,” Suo says. “Lie back for me, please.”

Haruka complies. Spreads his legs, his knees shaking, a little.

Soon enough, Suo is kneeling between them, cleaning his hands with a dampened cloth before depositing it on the floor next to the futon. Then he’s picking up another cloth, dipping it into the washbowl, and, as he had in the ceremonial hall, presses it against the entrance of Haruka’s throbbing cunt.

Haruka squirms. Grabs at the sheets next to his head, breathing shallowly.

After pressing the cloth against him a little longer and a few clinical, careful strokes against his pussy, Suo turns the cloth over. Inspects it.

“No bleeding,” he confirms, sounding pleased. Folds the cloth, setting it aside.

Then he’s dipping his fingers into the jar, coating his ring and middle fingers generously with the slippery, sticky substance. 

“Please bear with me for a bit,” Suo says, slowly sliding his ring finger inside Haruka’s cunt, his free hand resting against Haruka’s bare thigh.

It stings badly, at first—like crushing salt against an open wound, and Haruka’s breath hitches, clenching around Suo’s finger, his nails digging painfully into the futon. But the substance that Suo had brought seems to have some kind of numbing effect, and soon enough the pain dulls into a more manageable throb.

Carefully, Suo slides out his ring finger. Then he’s inserting his other finger carefully, swiftly applying a second coating; the numbing feeling spreads, and Haruka can feel his shoulders untense, trembling thighs relaxing against the bedsheets.

Can feel his heart racing in his chest, his cheeks burning bright red, increasingly aware of the weight of his alpha’s finger, knuckle-deep inside of him.

“All done,” Suo says, smoothing retracting himself from Haruka. He cleans his hands using the washbowl and a new cloth, before he turns back to Haruka. 

Stares down at Haruka’s half naked body, for a moment, his gaze unreadable. 

Haruka fidgets under the intensity. He must notice the skinniness of his body: the way his ribcage seems to peek out a little from his skin; the way his hip bones seem like they would crack under the slightest bit of pressure. 

The way his skin seems to fade like paper submerged in water, under the dim lighting of the room—

“Excuse me,” Suo suddenly says, carefully sliding the outer layer of Haruka’s kimono out from under his body, folding it neatly over his lap before setting it aside. 

Then he leans down again, securing the folds of the inner layer back over his body.

“I have to meet with Umemiya-sama quickly,” Suo says apologetically. “I’ll be right back. Try to get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when the food is here.”

Haruka nods. Turns on his side. Watches his alpha pick up the washbowl and cloth, neatly setting them aside before he’s standing up, sliding their door open.

Watches the back of Suo's green haori disappear into the dimly lit hallway, suddenly feeling cold.

Chapter Text

Nearly half an hour later, Haruka lies still on the futon, his arms curling over his stomach.

His alpha is taking his time, coming back, and so Haruka has—

Time. 

Time to think.

He’s exhausted. His limbs feel like jelly. His cunt aches dully. His eyelids are heavy but they won’t close, even though he hasn’t slept in more than thirty hours, and he’s—

Cold.

Freezing.

Shakily, Haruka tucks his hands under the folds of his kimono, trembling. 

He doesn’t really know what Suo wants from him. He doesn’t know if Suo wants to— have him, tonight, and he knows he should prepare; that he should undress himself. Present himself.

But Suo had said that he was picking up their dinner, so Haruka has time, still—

“Haruka-kun.”

Haruka flinches.

Not as much time as he thought.

From the dimly-lit entryway, his alpha enters, carrying a small, low red-stained table with a bowl of hot rice, miso, and what appears to be grilled fish.

Suo smiles at him.

“It’s nothing much,” he says, placing the table down beside the futon, kneeling neatly on the ground. “But we’ll eat more tomorrow.”

Slowly, Haruka sits up. Stares at the meal in front of him. 

Feels bile crawling up in his throat.

“...I’m not really hungry,” Haruka says, looking away.

Suo hums. “Would you just like to drink the miso, then?”

Haruka stares at the small wooden bowl before nodding. He picks it up with one hand. Takes a small sip.

It’s salty. Slightly tangy. Filling.

Haruka feels ill.

But under Suo’s watchful gaze, he continues drinking—even when his stomach screams in protest, the bubbling feeling in his throat keeps growing like a weed in a garden.

His alpha provided him food, when he didn’t have to. 

The least he could do was eat some of it. 

By the time he puts the bowl down, he’s clutching at his stomach uneasily, his fingers buried in the soft folds of his kimono. 

Suo smiles neatly back at Haruka. In front of him, the rice and grilled fish remain untouched.

“...why aren’t you eating?” Haruka asks. 

“Ah,” Suo says. “I’m not really that hungry. I’ll eat in the morning instead.”

Haruka stares at him for a long moment before reaching for the bowl of rice. He takes one bite. Two bites. Three bites.

They go down his throat like pins and needles.

When Haruka puts the bowl back down, Suo stands up, lifting the small table. He carries it out of their room, disappearing into the darkened hallway.

Haruka stares after him, his heart pounding in his chest. It only lasts for a few seconds before he’s taking off his clothes, shakily setting them aside.

It’s their first night together. 

He knows his duties.

Suo has already been kind to him. Good to him. He didn’t have to clean him. Didn’t have to dress him, or give him medicine, or feed him personally, or—

Be kind, to him.

So Haruka kneels naked on the futon. Folds his hands over his lap. Lowers his gaze to the tatami flooring.

Ignores the renewed stinging between his legs; the urge to choke out spit and bile, to vomit.

Soon enough, Haruka hears the doors slide open, and then—

Silence.

Footsteps, which near slowly. Quietly.

Then, Haruka hears the light rustling of clothes as Suo kneels down in front of him.

“Haruka-kun,” Suo says.

Haruka doesn’t look up.

“Haruka-kun,” Suo repeats softly. “Look at me.”

Haruka reluctantly raises his head. 

Gasps, when Suo’s hands cup his face gently. Carefully. Tenderly. 

“Omega,” he says. Strokes a thumb across his cheek. “We’re not having sex tonight.”

Haruka stares at him.

Suo smiles gently at him. Picks up the thin, discarded kimono, quickly draping it over Haruka’s body. Then he’s gently lying Haruka back down, his hand warm against Haruka’s chest.

“Sleep,” he says. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

Haruka lies awake, staring up at the ceiling. 

Hours have passed. He wants to sleep, but there’s a voice in his head—sounding suspiciously like the Noroshi clan elders—going on and on about how his alpha didn’t want to touch him; how Haruka must have done something to upset him, to already be out of his favour; how Haruka was a failure of an omega, for not insisting on offering himself despite his alpha’s protests, because alphas always want it—

Clenching his fists tightly, Haruka turns to his side.

Stares at his alpha, who lies still beside him. His body is relaxed, hands folded neatly over his stomach; he seemed to have fallen asleep a while ago, his breathing slowing into a near ghostly silence, his chest gently rising and falling. 

He’s still wearing his leather eyepatch. Haruka wonders if it’s uncomfortable; if it grates against his skin now, after hours of wearing it.

“Can’t sleep?” Haruka hears, and he startles, his gaze darting down to Suo’s mouth, which is closed; then to his lone red eye, which is now open, staring back at him.

“...when did you wake up?” Haruka asks.

Suo tilts his head against his pillow. Smiles at him. “Just now,” he says. Turns on his side as well, facing Haruka. “I felt,” he says, “someone looking at me.”

Haruka turns a furious shade of red.

Suo laughs a little, his lone red eye twinkling even in the darkness. “Sorry. I’m just teasing you.”

Haruka stares at him. Turns on his other side, away from Suo, clutching at the thin bed sheet draped over his body. 

He shivers. 

As the night deepened, the temperature had dropped; and Haruka, although used to the cold from the usual draftiness of his bedroom back at home, had always hated it.

It had been especially bitter, during the winter; when the servants would ‘forget’ to light the hearth in his room, his lips turning blue and his fingers as white as snow.

Behind him, Haruka hears the soft rustling of the sheets. Feels an arm drape around his waist, tucking him close against a warm chest.

Feels a soft, gentle breath next to his ear, whispering—

“Goodnight.”

When Haruka wakes up, his nose is pressed against something warm.

Unconsciously, Haruka leans closer. Tucks his nose further into the heat, his heart hammering in his chest as he inhales the gentle, spring-rain like scent; soothing and non-obtrusive, unlike any other incense he’s scented before back at home.

It’s then that he feels a hand gently stroke up his back; feels a graze over the nape of his neck, carefully avoiding his throbbing, raw bondmark. 

The touch is feather-light. Non-obtrusive. 

It makes his heart pound, and pound, and pound—

“Good morning,” he hears a gentle voice say, and Haruka’s mismatched eyes slowly open, only to find himself facing a clothed, broad chest; the sharp lines of a smooth, strong neck. 

He looks up, then, meeting the gentle curve of Suo’s smile; his lone, gentle red eye, which seems to burn brightly under the soft sunlight filtering into the room through the window.

Immediately, Haruka tries to scramble away, but the hand on his back gently keeps him in place.

“Did you sleep well?” Suo asks, his eye glimmering.

Haruka’s words are stuck in his throat. So he stays silent, nodding slightly. 

Suo’s smile widens. “I’m glad,” he says. Gently strokes up the nape of Haruka’s neck again, carefully avoiding the bite, and Haruka shivers. “How is your bondmark feeling?”

It aches. “It feels fine,” Haruka says.

Suo hums. “I’ll ask our physician for a soothing balm,” he says. “If it feels worse, let me know.”

Haruka nods again, and Suo untangles from Haruka, picking up his haori from where it had been folded neatly on the floor before standing up, draping his haori back over his shoulders.

“We'll have lunch with everyone in the mess hall before we go,” he says. “But take your time getting ready. We’re in no rush.”

“It’s lunch?” Haruka blurts out, and Suo nods.

“We slept in, it seems,” Suo says. At Haruka’s expression, he smiles reassuringly. “It’s no matter. I’m sure the others were happy to have a break, after the long journey here.”

Haruka grunts, at that. Slowly sits up himself, grabbing the outer layer of his kimono from where it had been folded nearby—

But then Suo kneels down. Picks it up before Haruka’s fingers can so much as touch the hem.

“Sorry,” Suo says, tucking the kimono underneath his arm. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” He picks up another folded piece from nearby that Haruka hadn’t noticed previously. “But we prepared new clothes for you to change into; a servant should be coming soon with it. I hope you don’t mind.”

Haruka nods, his face flushing red.

“...thank you,” he eventually manages, and Suo nods.

“Anything for my omega,” he says, and Haruka’s face flushes even more darkly, his heart skipping a beat.

Haruka stares at himself in the body-length mirror sitting at the corner of their room, his gaze fixed on his new kimono, which drapes neatly over his body.

Unlike the previous kimono, this one is a soft green, with cherry blossom petals sprouting from the hem. His obi is yellow, almost molten gold, like the sunset.

It’s just as nice as the one that he had arrived in, and that had been professionally tailored.

“We didn’t know your size when we had this fashioned for you,” Suo says. “I apologize if it’s a little big.”

Haruka thinks about this for a second. 

They had… they had clothes made for him?

“There will be more waiting for you when we get home,” Suo continues. “We’ll need to do a proper fitting at some point, though, to make sure they fit well.” His lone red eye glimmers in amusement, as well as something else that Haruka can’t quite discern.

“Your brother showed us a portrait of you, but it was a bit outdated.”

Haruka blanches.

The last portrait that he had gotten done was from when he was sixteen years old; when he was first considered to be of marriageable age. Haruka remembers it distinctly because of the long hours that he had had to sit through in a stiff black kimono.

Because of the way the elders had stood nearby, watching Haruka like a hawk.

Make him look prettier, one of the elders had groused to the painter. No alpha will want him, the way that he looks now. 

Haruka had never been allowed to see the portrait. So he doesn’t know what Suo had seen—

If Suo was disappointed when he saw Haruka for the first time, when his lone red eye took in his mismatched eyes and hair; if he had been disgusted, or dismayed with his naked body, skin and bones as it was—

“Haruka-kun,” Suo says. He’s looking at Haruka through the mirror. “Are you ready to eat?”

Slowly, Haruka nods. 

Suo doesn’t carry him this time, but Haruka doesn’t mind. He can walk just fine, now (minus the lingering, albeit dull throbbing), and he doesn’t want Suo to make a scene by carrying him into the dining area.

He does stand close behind Suo, shadowing him. 

“They’ll be a bit rambunctious, since they’re more well-rested,” Suo says, his hands neatly clasped behind his back as he strides forward, easy and relaxed, and slow enough for Haruka to keep up with. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” Haruka says quickly, biting down the nausea in his gut.

While the Bofurin clan has been nice to him so far, he can’t get rid of the pit in his stomach; fears that they’ll look at him, or talk around him or about him, like the Noroshi clansmen did back home, and while it’s nothing that Haruka isn’t already used to—

He doesn’t want that to happen in front of Suo.

Soon enough, they stop in front of a large shoji door. Haruka hears laughter and chatter behind it. 

He swallows.

Suo slides the door open.

Immediately, the chatter stops. Behind Suo, Haruka tenses, inwardly bracing himself for the teasing and badgering to come. They’ll probably ask Suo about how the night went; maybe even ask why Haruka isn’t limping more. 

And then—

“Ah, good morning, you two!” Umemiya’s loud, booming voice announces, sitting at the head of the table. “I hope you had a good rest!”

In front of Haruka, Suo smiles. “We did,” he says. Then, resting his hand on the small of Haruka’s back, he guides him to the empty seats near Umemiya. 

Hand moving up from the small of Haruka’s back, up his shoulders, he carefully ushers Haruka to sit down next to the blond-haired, freckled beta from the day before. 

Suo then kneels on the remaining seat, next to Umemiya.

“Will the food be arriving soon, Umemiya-sama?” Suo asks, and the Bofurin leader nods, smiling brightly.

“Yep! I hear we have sashimi on the menu.” Umemiya sighs happily. “When we get home, though, I really want to have yakimono.”

“Certainly,” Suo says. Reaches over, picking up a black teapot from the center of the table and pouring it into the cup in front of him.

He places it in front of Haruka. Smiles at him.

Slowly, Haruka picks the cup up. Raises it to his mouth.

Drinks it.

It’s hot. A little bitter. Soothing.

Some of his nausea eases. 

And then the shoji doors slide open again, and two women enter, carrying large platters of food. They immediately start distributing them, the Bofurin clansmen happily thanking them, bemoaning their hunger, and the long journey still ahead of them.

Haruka is frozen, as they near him and Suo; as they place a large plate in front of him, filled to the brim with a variety of raw fish. A bowl of steaming hot rice. Another bowl, full of miso.

He’s not hungry.

He’s not hungry at all.

But under Suo’s encouraging smile, Haruka picks up his chopsticks and starts eating.

He takes one bite. 

Chews.

Swallows.

Another.

Chews.

Swallows.

Another.

Chews.

Swallows—

Haruka places the chopsticks down. Stands up.

“Haruka-kun?” Suo asks him softly. “What’s wrong?”

Haruka shakes his head. Avoids the eyes of his alpha and the other clansmen as he stumbles out of the room, shutting the shoji door shut behind him.

Outside of the inn, Haruka throws up into a patch of grass, one arm wrapped tightly around his abdomen, the other bracing himself against the base of the inn’s engawa.

It hurts, as it always does, but he’s silent. He doesn’t want anyone to find him; to look at him like he’s some kind of spectacle.

The one and only time he’d thrown up in front of someone, it had been outside of the ceremonial hall of the last bedding ceremony he’d been forced to witness. He had stumbled out of the hall before it could end, only to run into one of the Noroshi elders.

Weak, the elder had sighed. Turned her cold gaze onto the fifteen year old boy, crumpled on his knees and gagging weakly into the corner of the dim hallway. He couldn’t get the image of the screaming, crying omega out of his head—a girl not so much older than he.

A girl who represented his future—

If you dare do this during your own bedding ceremony, you’ll be strung up and beaten, do you understand?

At least, Haruka consoles himself, it’s not his bedding ceremony now.

So surely Haruka won’t be punished—

“Haruka-kun.”

Haruka freezes. Chokes, on his spit and bile. Feels more vomit crawling up his throat—

A warm hand slides up his back. Gentle fingers run through his hair, before settling over one of Haruka’s trembling shoulders. 

“You’re okay,” Suo— alpha— says, continuing to rub soothing circles. “Let it all out.”

And Haruka—

Sways into Suo’s warm, gentle touch.

Vomits.

Chapter Text

Suo takes Haruka back to their room, his hand a gentle, steady presence on the small of his back, frequently rubbing gentle circles. In combination with his alpha’s calming, spring rain scent, Haruka’s nausea was slightly abated.

Slightly.

Suo gently sits Haruka back down on the futon, which had already been made again by one of the servants. “One moment,” he says before promptly leaving the room, carefully sliding the door shut behind him. In a matter of seconds he returns, holding a cup.

He kneels down in front of Haruka. “Drink some,” he says gently, and Haruka obeys, gingerly taking the cup and drinking from it. Cold water immediately hits his tongue, and Haruka finds himself calming down almost immediately.

“You can rest here before we leave,” Suo says. “I imagine they’ll take another twenty minutes or so to finish up.”

Haruka nods uneasily. The motion makes his stomach churn even more.

“Sorry,” Haruka says, and Suo shakes his head, smoothing a hand along Haruka’s cheek.

“There’s no need to apologize,” Suo says gently. Then, “It’s been a stressful past couple days, hasn’t it?”

Haruka almost snorts. Almost. 

“Would you like to lie down?”

Haruka nods, again, and Suo carefully rearranges Haruka back atop the futon sheets, his hand warm on Haruka’s waist.

“Take a nap,” Suo says, smiling. “I’ll wake you up when we have to go.”

The rest of the ride back to Bofurin territory passes relatively smoothly. Suo lifts Haruka back into his palanquin, where he sits silently for the rest of the journey, the palm of his hand a permanent imprint on his stomach as he tries and fails to bite down his nausea. His alpha rides next to him on his horse. Aside from a few comments here and there inquiring about Haruka’s wellbeing (“I’m fine,” Haruka always says,) he doesn’t speak.

Haruka wonders if Suo is hungry. He didn’t really get to eat much because he had been taking care of Haruka, and he had politely refused the rations that Umemiya offered him in passing. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well either.

Or maybe the bedding ceremony had more of an effect on his alpha than Haruka had initially thought.

“Haruka-kun,” Suo suddenly says, his voice soft and pleasant. “We’ve made it to the town.”

Tentatively, Haruka peers out of the window. His mismatched eyes widen.

The Bofurin clan’s territory is as massive as he had thought it would be, with buildings creeping onto the main road they’re traveling through. Their entourage attracts the townsfolk; rows of people cheerily greet Haruka’s alpha and his clan, waving from small storefronts, vendor stalls, and front entrances of homes.

Then their attention diverts to Haruka, their faces ranging between apprehensive and curious, and Haruka hurriedly ducks back into the palanquin, his fingers digging into the folds of his kimono.

Haruka hasn’t been outside in ages—not since he was a small child, and Takiishi had taken him out once without the permission of either their mother and the elders. Takiishi had kept him close, never allowing him to approach anyone; had grabbed him by the collar when Haruka started wandering off, attracted by the smell of street food.

It was for his own sake, of course. Haruka was small, even for a child, and everyone who had looked at him and his rebellious mouth and his too-thin wrists thought the same thing.

Omega.

It’s not long before they near the Bofurin clan’s estate; through the window, Haruka watches the way the corners of his alpha’s mouth curl upwards, his lone red eye softening into an even more gentle ember. 

He notices Haruka’s gaze, his red eye starting to twinkle, and Haruka hurriedly averts his gaze, staring down at the stone-laden pathway. Pink cherry blossom petals litter the ground, winking underneath the soft sunlight, and more clusters join them from the blooming cherry blossom trees lining the road.

“We’ve arrived,” Haruka hears, and Haruka looks up at his alpha again, his cheeks still tinged a soft red. 

Suo gestures ahead of him with one arm, and Haruka follows it, his mismatched eyes widening as he takes in the impressive sight.

The entire estate is surrounded by tall white stone fences, topped by black tiling, and green plants wind around them. Within it, the main building of the Bofuin clan estate stands at the center, nearly three stories tall and maybe three normal houses wide. Flanking it are five other houses built from the same material, all also large and looming in their own right.

“The houses belong to the Five Kings,” Suo explains when he notices Haruka’s curious gaze, smiling warmly at him. Haruka turns red under the unreasonably affectionate gaze. “The one to the left over there,” he gestures towards the house next to the main building, “is ours.”

Haruka’s heart is racing.

Ours.

“My family owns its own estate nearby, but it’s currently undergoing some renovations,” Suo further explains, sounding contrite. “We’ll move there when renovations complete in the next few weeks. Also,” his voice lowers, “Umemiya-sama requires my presence as we solidify our alliance with the Noroshi.”

Haruka nods numbly, not responding. 

“We expect the Noroshi to arrive next month,” Umemiya says from nearby, smiling cheerily despite the air of wariness that immediately overtakes the other clansmen, except for, oddly, Suo. “I’m sure that you’ll be happy to see your brother again, Sakura!”

“Sakura-san,” Suo corrects.

“Ah, of course! Where are my manners?”

They stop at the very entrance of the main building, where they gently set the palanquin down, and Suo swiftly climbs off his horse, kneeling in front of the palanquin. He opens the door, wordlessly sliding one arm under Haruka’s knees and the other behind his back, slowly and carefully lifting him out from the palanquin. His gaze never leaves Haruka’s face, as if observing for any discomfort.

All the other clansmen seem to be staring at him too, their expressions ranging between curious and unreadable. Their attention makes Haruka’s stomach churn even more, so he averts his gaze, feeling his face burn a bright shade of red.

“I’m going to take Haruka-kun home,” Suo says, carefully readjusting his hold so that he’s lifting Haruka a bit higher. “We’ll join you for dinner later.”

“There’s no need,” Umemiya says, smiling at them. “You should enjoy your honeymoon.”

Suo laughs lightly, bidding Umemiya and the other clansmen goodbye as he starts walking down the stone path, towards his house. His hands feel almost unbearably warm through the light material of Haruka’s clothes.

“Honeymoon, huh?” Suo says to himself with a small sigh, smiling down at Haruka, who finds himself glancing up at the strong lines of Suo’s neck; down his alpha’s throat and towards his clavicle, hidden by the neat folds of Suo’s black kimono. 

His face tinges red. 

“How do you feel about going to the hotsprings in a couple weeks?”

Haruka’s face bursts into an even uglier shade of red, and he hurriedly averts his gaze. Although Haruka has never been to a hotsprings before, he’s heard plenty about them; knows that he and Suo would be sitting in some kind of bath together, naked together in close proximity, and it’s stupid for Haruka to feel flustered; Suo has seen him naked before. Has touched him before. 

Has been inside of him, before. 

But Suo. Suo wasn’t told to strip down, like Haruka had been. Wasn’t a lowly, pitiful omega, like Haruka is, and so—

Haruka has never seen his alpha naked before. 

“It sounds fine,” Haruka manages, his face still flushed a vibrant shade of red, and Suo smiles down at him, pleased.

Haruka wonders when that expression will change to frustration and disdain. It’s only a matter of time.

Soon enough, Suo stops in front of what was to be their home for the next while. It looks like a smaller version of the main building: only one storey tall, with similar detailing and no less impressive. It’s definitely far too large for just two people.

For children, however—

“You can put me down,” Haruka says, and although Suo nods obligingly at him, the alpha walks up the steps with Haruka in his arms anyway. As they near the door, an elderly beta servant from inside opens it, bowing her head towards them. 

“Welcome home, Suo-sama. Sakura-sama.” She bows even lower. “I hope your trip went well.”

“It did, thank you,” Suo says, crossing the threshold. He then finally puts Haruka down, who stands on shaky legs, grasping onto Suo’s hakama for purchase.

“My husband requires a bath,” Suo tells the woman. “Would you be able to draw one for him?”

“Of course, my lord.”

“Thank you.” Suo steps out of his hanao, neatly setting it aside. He then turns to Haruka. 

“Yamanaka-san will be able to assist you with bathing,” he says, and Haruka nods, expecting this. He had been bathed weekly by servants even when he lived back with the Noroshi. 

“Afterwards—”

Haruka tenses, all too aware of the space between his thighs. They’re alone together now, in Suo’s home, and it’s expected of Haruka to. To— 

“Would you be interested in having some tea with me?”

Haruka stares blankly at his alpha, for a long moment. “...tea?”

“And some snacks, I would imagine,” Suo says. His smile seems to soften even more with understanding. “Don’t worry, it shouldn’t be too heavy.”

“Okay,” Haruka says. 

Suo smiles sweetly. “It’s a date, then.”

Yamanaka is gentle with Haruka.

Her calloused, strong fingers are careful as she combs through his hair, never once tugging or scratching at his scalp. The cloth that she uses to scrub Haruka’s skin is feather-soft. She pays extra care to be swift and clinical, but no less gentle, as she cleans between his legs, and Haruka is only a little uncomfortable with the entire experience.

It mostly feels nice to feel properly clean, for once.

“Is there something that you would prefer to wear for this evening, Sakura-sama?” the servant asks as she dries him. “We have a variety of clothes that you can choose from.”

“...I’m fine with anything.”

“Okay, Sakura-sama. But please do let me know if my choices are not to your satisfaction.”

Haruka nods, but stays silent, not really knowing what to say to that.

The servant escorts Haruka to the tea room, located near the back of the house. She slides open the door for him, gently ushering Haruka inside.

Suo is already waiting for him, knelt in front of a low table. His hair, like Haruka’s, is slightly damp from bathing, and he’s wearing a casual white changshan, his usual hakama seemingly abandoned for the rest of the day. In front of him is a ceramic white cup of tea, as well as a small plate of red bean mochi which Haruka stares at for longer than he should.

He has had sweets before—especially when his mom had been alive—but it’s been a long time since he’d been able to stomach it.

“Thank you, Yamanaka-san,” Suo says, his lone red eye focused on the soft lines of Haruka’s simple navy blue kimono, hemmed with looping koi fish. Haruka crosses his arms, tucking his hands into his sides and blushing slightly at the alpha’s blatantly pleased expression.

“It is my pleasure, Suo-sama. I’m happy to serve Sakura-sama.”

Suo smiles. “As anyone would be.”

Haruka’s face is burning.

The servant bows again before she swiftly leaves, closing the door behind her. After a beat, Haruka kneels on the pillow in front of the table, his head lowering. 

It occurs to him, then, that he should be pouring tea for his alpha.

While Haruka was terrible at learning the intricacies of tea ceremonies, serving tea is a far simpler affair: as the omega, Haruka should be getting up and kneeling by his alpha’s side; should be pouring tea and presenting it for his alpha to take, after which he was expected to remain kneeling until his alpha finished his first cup before returning to his side of the table, unless explicitly told otherwise—

Across from Haruka, Suo picks up the white ceramic teapot. Pours tea into the cup in front of him. Sets the teapot down.

Neatly slides the cup towards Haruka, along with the plate of mochi.

“It's a rice and green tea blend,” Suo says with an easy smile, gesturing towards the teapot. “I hope you like it.”

Haruka tentatively wraps his fingers around the teacup, bringing the cup to his mouth. He inhales it first, his cold nose warming from the heat. He takes a long sip, feeling himself subconsciously relax when the mild, but pleasant taste hits his tongue, the water just hot enough to not burn.

Across from him, Suo silently pours himself his own cup. Takes a sip, humming lightly before he sets it back down.

“I’m sorry,” Suo says, “that I hurt you, yesterday.”

Haruka tenses. Is this… supposed to be a test? “You didn’t.”

“I did,” Suo interrupts, his voice low. Grave. “You didn’t want to be at the ceremony.”

Haruka tenses even more. “...it’s tradition.”

“One that the Noroshi clan seems keen on following, yes,” Suo says, his voice light. Even. “But the Bofurin clan strongly dislikes the practice.”

“Then why did you go through with it?” Haruka blurts out before he can stop himself, and he slaps a hand over his mouth, his cheeks reddening with mortification. If this is a test, then Haruka has failed a thousand times over—

His alpha doesn’t so much as flinch. He leans forward slightly, clasping his hands over the table. His expression is firm. Unreadable.

“It was the only way that they would let me marry you.”

Haruka clenches his fists over his knees. Suo doesn’t have to explain who they are. The clan elders. Possibly even the clansmen themselves; at least the ones in his brother’s circle.

Haruka doesn’t want to think about his brother’s involvement.

“But please know, Haruka-kun,” the alpha’s lone red eye darkens, the lines in his jaw clenching unconsciously, “that something like that will never happen again.” His expression twists, then, into something more sad. 

“I understand, however, if you don’t trust me.”

Haruka doesn’t know how to respond to that. So he averts his gaze. Takes another sip from his tea. 

It sits heavy on his tongue.

Then, Haruka hears shuffling. Footsteps.

A soft, barely audible thud, as Suo kneels down beside him. Outstretches his right hand to take one of Haruka’s, his other arm locked firmly behind his back. 

“However you feel about me,” Suo says, “I’ll take care of you.” 

Suo lifts the hand. Kisses Haruka’s knuckles gently, firmly before lifting his head again, his lone red eye staring into Haruka’s wide gold and silver ones—

“It would be my honour.”

Chapter Text

There’s a soft knock on the door.

“Excuse me,” Yamanaka’s soft voice rings. “I’ve come with breakfast.”

Reluctantly, Haruka sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his mismatched eyes. “...come in,” he calls.

Yamanaka enters, holding a tray of miso soup, rice, and thin slices of scrambled eggs. 

“Good morning, sir,” Yamanaka says softly. “Did you have a nice rest?”

Haruka nods stiffly.

Yamanaka smiles at him. “I’m glad to hear that.” She kneels down next to Haruka, placing the small wooden table down next to Haruka’s futon. “I will come by in half an hour to help you get dressed. The young master has asked me to give you a proper tour of the estate.”

Haruka nods again, inwardly stifling the worry growing in the pit of his chest.

The past several days or so, he had been keeping to himself. At first he told Suo that it was because he wasn’t feeling well, and wished to spend the next few days resting. Suo had been amenable to this—almost confusingly, overwhelmingly understanding — and Haruka had been allowed to lay about in his and Suo’s quarters while the alpha attended to other duties within the Bofurin estate.

He would only ever get up to eat when Yamanaka arrived, or when he was drinking tea with Suo, who came by in the afternoons. It was the only time he saw Suo other than at night, when his alpha returned to sleep.

They slept on opposite sides of the futon. 

Haruka wonders about that.

“Well, I’ll take my leave,” Yamanaka-san says. She smiles at him. “I hope you enjoy your meal.”

Haruka silently watches the woman leave, before looking down at the meal set before him. 

His stomach grumbles unhappily.

He thinks he’ll just have miso for now.

Haruka stares at himself in the floor-length mirror as Yamanaka ties the obi behind him. 

His kimono is a soft green today, sprinkled generously with sakura blossoms. The material is equally as soft, and Haruka finds himself thumbing at the hems of his sleeves, scratching his nail into the fabric. 

It leans more towards formal than casual. Haruka wonders if he’s going to meet any important people today.

“Would you like to wear make-up today, sir?”

Haruka glances back at Yamanaka, worrying his lip. It would probably be a good idea. He doesn’t know who he’s going to see today, but he doesn’t want to make Suo look bad for being underdressed. 

“Yes,” he settles on, and Yamanaka nods, gesturing for Haruka to sit down on a stool that she had brought out. Haruka obliges, and the servant gets to work.

She lightly dusts powder on his face, and lines his eyes lightly with a thin-looking paintbrush. 

She only puts a little bit of blush. 

“Your natural flush,” the woman explains, gently dabbing more powder on his cheek, “—and it’s quite fetching Sakura-sama, please don’t worry—is more than enough. The young master will be pleased.”

Haruka turns bright red, looking hastily away from the woman.

People in Bofurin… they give compliments far too easily.

When Yamanaka is done, she guides Haruka out of the room and down the stairs. Yamanaka is silent the entire walk, and Haruka is thankful.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk. He just doesn’t know what to say to her.

As Haruka looks up at the sky, he flinches a little. It’s bright today; definitely brighter than Suo’s dimly lit room, though that may be Haruka’s fault for keeping the window shutters closed. 

“Let’s visit Suo-sama first, shall we?” Yamanaka says. “I believe he’s in the training hall.”

Haruka tilts his head at the woman. “Is he training someone?”

“Someones,” Yamanaka corrects. “Suo-sama guides daily sparring sessions. He knows and has perfected a variety of different fighting styles; it makes him a great teacher.”

She lowers her voice. “What with the tensions between Bofurin and your clan, for quite some time Suo-sama was hard at work preparing them for war.”

Haruka feels a chill run down his back. 

He had known, of course, that tensions between Bofurin and the Noroshi had been at an all-time high; the Noroshi never got along with the Bofurin clan, due to what he has vaguely been told as ‘differing values’ by hesitant servants. 

He knows it’s not just that; that there’s a history there. He’s heard derisive whispers before from clan elders who thought they were speaking quietly; has heard traitor repeated over and over again, mouths twisted into sneers.

He should ask. His alpha would at the very least humour him, he’s sure. 

Eventually, he and Yamanaka arrive at the training grounds, in front of the main building of the estate. Haruka stays silent as she leads him towards the courtyard, where the sounds of grunting and boisterous laughter resound. 

“...and that’s why you need to learn how to fall properly, Nire-kun,” Haruka hears his alpha’s voice ring through the air, his voice coloured with gentle exasperation. Haruka continues to walk forward, closer and closer towards his alpha, who stands with his back towards him, hands neatly clasped behind his back. “Now try again.”

“Yes, sir!” the blond-haired beta from the other day says. He breathes heavily, his hands on his knees. “I’ll get it next time!”

“You’re doing well, Nire-kun.” Suo turns around then, smiling gently at Haruka. He’s wearing a long-sleeved white changshan rolled up to his elbows, lithe muscles flexing under pale skin, and ankle-length trousers. There’s not a lick of sweat on his person, despite the fact that everyone else in the training grounds look like they had run ten laps around the estate.

Comparatively, Haruka feels uncomfortably overdressed.

“Hello, Haruka-kun, Yamanaka-san,” Suo says, his smile widening when Haruka seems to flounder, his gaze darting away from the crowd, looking in his direction with an amused red eye. “What are you doing here?”

“Sakura-sama wished to visit you,” Yamanaka says, smiling warmly, and Haruka's neck nearly whips as he shoots her a betrayed look.

“Oh? Did you?” Suo says, smiling down at Haruka, and Haruka coughs lightly, looking away. 

“...yeah,” he says anyway. “...there something wrong with that?”

“Not at all,” Suo says easily. “Were you perhaps interested in observing a sparring match?”

Haruka nods stiffly, digging his fingers in the soft sleeves of his kimono. “...are you going to fight?”

“Of course he is!” Someone calls out from the crowd, and Haruka looks across the courtyard. An orange-haired man grins back at him, holding a pair of heavy sacks, which seemed to serve as weights. He’s standing next to a smiling pink-haired man, who’s lounging on a crate, looking at his friend with blatant amusement. “Any virtuous alpha would want to impress their omega!”

Suo smiles, though it oddly doesn’t reach his eye. “I am certainly not absolved of that, Tsugeura-kun.”

“How about you fight me, then?”

Suo tilts his head. “I don’t see why not.”

Haruka had always thought Suo would be good at hand-to-hand combat.

Suo is a general, after all; one entrusted by Bofurin and Umemiya himself. It would only be right that he’d know how to fight well.

Haruka doesn’t know how to fight. He thinks Takiishi had tried to teach him, once upon a time ago, his mother perched on the engawa in a simple navy blue kimono, watching with bleary silver eyes. She hadn’t spoken a word, even when Takiishi hit him in the arm a little too hard.

She had, however, stood up when Haruka’s father came into the courtyard, his mouth twisted into a furious scowl. He had yelled at Takiishi, Haruka shrinking behind him, and had only stopped when Haruka’s mother bowed her head, apologizing profusely. They were the first words she had spoken the entire day. 

His father hadn’t hit her; at least not in that moment. 

She would come to their shared room bruised and bleeding another day, shaking as she curled up atop their futon.

“Suo!” the strange alpha with orange hair shouts, grinning widely at Suo. He sends a jab in Suo’s direction, which Suo sidesteps neatly, not so much as moving his hands from where they’re clasped behind his back. “You’re as evasive as ever!”

“And you’re quite loud, Tsugeura-kun,” Suo says, smiling neatly. “We’re not standing that far away from each other.”

“Eh? But aren’t we showing off?” The alpha says, laughing. Suo swipes a leg under the alpha’s leg, and though Tsugeura trips, he quickly recovers, landing back on his feet. He jabs again in Suo’s direction, which the alpha redirects. “Don’t you think this is good for morale?”

“Of course,” Suo says. “I just wonder how long we’re going to be here. You’re always very… persistent.”

“And you like to toy around with us!” Tsugeura says, smirking. “But don’t worry. I won’t take too much of your time—it wouldn’t be very virtuous to keep you away from your omega for so long!”

Around Haruka, the Bofurin members chortle, smirking and jeering and sending teasing remarks Suo’s way, and Haruka flounders, his face flushing even more. 

Is he supposed to do something? They’re making fun of Suo because of him.

Should he have even come at all?

Suo dodges another blow, pointedly looking back towards Haruka with a knowing smile. “I would have to agree.”

There are more ooh’s from the members, and Haruka flushes.

Eventually, the fight ends. Suo manages to redirect a particularly hard swing that catches Tsugeura off balance, and he follows up with a sharp swoop of his leg, knocking Tsugeura hard against the ground. Tsugeura gets up immediately after, dusting at his sides. 

“Good spar,” he says, grinning. He cranks his arm back and forth. “A very virtuous win!”

“Thank you,” Suo says, his voice light and cheery. No matter which way Haruka tilts his head, Suo looks perfectly at ease, his dark red hair falling neatly over his forehead and his breath calm and even. He clasps his hands back behind his back, walking towards Haruka. He tilts his head down, smiling at him.“It’s almost lunch time. Would you like to join me and the others in the mess hall?”

Haruka looks between his alpha. Yamanaka. The crowd of Bofurin members, who stand idly in the training grounds, poorly concealing their curious stares while continuing to do their exercises.

Haruka looks up at his alpha, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Okay.”

Lunch is an awkward affair—at least for Haruka. 

There are more people here than there were in the entourage they had arrived with. And while passing servants and Bofurin members tilt their heads respectfully in his direction, Haruka can’t help but feel that they’re judging him, or sizing him up in some way. 

He can understand that. He’s an outsider. And Haruka can’t even imagine what they think of him and the fragile, pathetic state he’d arrived in. Certainly Suo deserved a stronger omega. Surely Suo could do so much better than Sakura Haruka, and the rest of the Bofurin clan thinks the same.

Swiftly, Suo leads him to the head table, guiding him to sit down before kneeling next to him.

“Umemiya-kun will unfortunately not be joining us today,” Suo says. “He’s speaking with one of our traders about going into the Noroshi territory.”

Haruka’s heart skips a beat. “...the truce is going well?”

“We’re not fighting,” Suo says. “How well they’ll receive us will speak more to it; the traders should be returning by the time your brother is expected to visit.” He smiles carefully. “And if they experienced a hard time, we will surely speak to your brother about it. I’m sure he’ll set things straight.”

“Right,” Haruka says, the word feeling strangely heavy on his tongue. He wonders if he’s supposed to provide his own insight. 

He doesn’t know much about Takiishi’s affairs, beyond what he has heard whispered through the walls.

Eventually, the servants arrive with their food, placing platters on the table. 

Haruka is given a small portion of soba noodles. The sight doesn’t immediately make his stomach turn.

He thinks he can finish this.

Just as he takes his first bite, Haruka jolts when a man with spiky hair and shark-like teeth abruptly sits down across from them, his expression cross. 

“That Umemiya,” the man growls lowly, “is a freaking idiot!”

Suo takes a sip from his teacup, his brow raising. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Oh you shut your mouth—” his sharp gaze catches Haruka’s, his face visibly softening into something more neutral. “Ah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice in decent company.”

Haruka nearly chokes on his noodles. Decent?

“I’m hurt,” Suo says, chuckling. “Are you implying that I’m not decent to be around?”

“After Ume, you’re the second most annoying—”

“This is Hiiragi-kun,” Suo cuts in, gesturing to the man, who abruptly shuts his mouth. “We’re childhood friends, along with Umemiya-kun.”

Hiiragi opens his mouth. Shuts it. Opens it again. “...my family has protected Ume’s for generations. I was raised to be his retainer before Ume became the head of the Bofurin clan, and I became his general.” He points at Suo. “Their families were—”

“New neighbours, of sorts,” Suo says, his lone red eye glimmering. “Umemiya-kun’s parents were very welcoming.”

“Of course,” Hiiragi says. “They were great people.”

Were.

Haruka supposes he shouldn’t be surprised. It’s not like Haruka’s parents are alive anymore, either.

“So what did Umemiya-kun do this time?” Suo asks, his expression curious.

“He wanted to escort the traders himself back to Noroshi territory with some of our men,” Hiiragi says, “something about wanting to finalize some paperwork while he was there, and I offered to go with him. Do you know what he said?”

Suo takes a sip from his tea, smiling politely. “That because you were injured you shouldn’t have to worry about these things.”

“I am not injured—”

“Your limp to the table says otherwise, Hiiragi-kun.”

“Now you’re being just as infuriating—”

Haruka watches the two alphas bicker, raising some soba to his mouth. 

“Who is he bringing instead, then?” Suo eventually asks.

“Tsubaki,” Hiiragi says. “But I still think he should have chosen me. I’m starting to get stir-crazy staying in my room all the time.”

“The more you rest, the sooner you can come back and join the living,” Suo teases, and Hiiragi groans.

Haruka swallows his soba.

The conversation quickly trails into more casual chatter, and Haruka continues eating meagre bites. By the time he finishes his plate, he feels nauseous. Starts fidgeting uncomfortably.

But before he could excuse himself and find a corner to throw up in, Suo slides a warm, broad hand over Haruka’s knee. He starts tracing circles. Triangles. Stars.

Haruka’s nausea slowly dissipates.

They’re taking a walk in the flower garden from within the estate when Suo turns to him, his lone red eye gleaming and a sweet smile on his face—

“You look beautiful.”

Haruka turns a mortifying shade of red. Yamanaka, who trails behind them at a short distance, titters behind a wrinkled hand. She quickly waves Haruka’s gaze away, stifling her giggles.

“...I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Haruka grumbles.

“Green suits you,” Suo says, in an annoyingly pleasant tone, and Haruka averts his gaze, looking at the flowers growing along the pathway next to him. The petals are white and wide, with a yellow center. He’s seen these before; has made failed flower arrangements before with them, which resulted in stinging wrists and going to bed with an unhappy, growling stomach. He thinks he was probably fifteen at the time. 

“They’re white lilies,” Suo says, his burning red gaze following Haruka’s. “Umemiya-kun brought them to grow here.”

“Does he garden?” Haruka asks. 

“Mmm. It’s his favourite pastime—although fruits and vegetables are more his style. I can show you his vegetable garden later.”

“...do you garden?”

Suo hums. “Although I enjoy herbal teas, I must say that I do not have a green thumb. Umemiya-kun learned that the hard way.” He stops walking. Haruka does as well. 

“Do you see that odd patch there?” he asks, pointing towards some direction in the distance. Haruka immediately spots the empty space in the sea of foliage and flowers. “A summer or so ago, I was entrusted to take care of some salvias—Umemiya-kun entrusted each member to take care of a part of the compound garden as a bonding exercise of sorts—but it would seem that I messed up quite badly. Too much water, Sugeshita-kun told me,” he says with a light sigh. “I’ve been meaning to try to grow something else there, but with growing tensions between our clans it was difficult to find the time.”

“...you were patrolling often,” Haruka surmises, and Suo nods.

“Along the borders between our territories, yes. The Noroshi were… worrying close to overstepping boundaries.” He smiles reassuringly. “But that shouldn’t be a problem anymore. Your brother assured us as such.” 

They continue walking down the garden silently, Yamanaka a further distance away from them than she had been before, wanting to give them privacy. Then—

A large, warm hand slides into Haruka’s. Suo intertwines their fingers.

“I apologize for my distance lately.”

Haruka turns his head, blinking up at his alpha. 

“I wished to give you some space,” Suo says, “but I’m worried I may have isolated you instead.”

“You didn’t make me feel that way,” Haruka says hurriedly. He had been the one who requested to stay in their quarters, and Suo had other duties to attend to. 

“We will share all meals together, from now on,” Suo says, his voice firm. “And I will continue to visit you for afternoon tea—I’ll spend more time with you.”

Haruka’s chest feels funny. “Okay.”

“Is there anything else that you desire from me?”

Can you hold me while we sleep again?

Haruka shakes his head. Squeezes his alpha’s hand lightly. 

“No,” he says. 

Suo seems to see through him, because he frowns slightly. But he doesn’t push it. They continue walking through the garden, Suo helpfully identifying every new flower they pass by, Yamanaka trailing silently behind them.

Suo doesn’t once let go of his hand.

Chapter Text

Suo, much to Haruka’s surprise, immediately follows through with his promise.

The next morning, as Haruka slowly blinks awake, he spots his alpha sitting quietly by their futon. Suo’s back is towards him, long legs crossed and hands neatly resting over his knees. His broad back moves the slightest bit as he breathes slowly. Carefully. 

Haruka spends a long moment looking at the back of his alpha’s head, curling his fingers over his silk pillow. The alpha’s hair looks vibrant under the morning light, although slightly damp; had he bathed already? Did Haruka sleep in again?

He exhales when Suo eventually turns towards him. Smiles at him, his lone red eye twinkling. 

“Good morning,” his alpha says. “Are you hungry?”

Haruka really isn’t. But he nods anyway, sitting up from the futon. If his alpha wants to eat—wants Haruka to join him—he’d never say no.

(He wants to spend time with Suo anyway. He had missed the alpha’s presence; the only truly familiar face in the compound, nevermind how little they actually know of each other.)

Several minutes later, after Yamanaka brings them a tray of breakfast (today is rice with tofu, egg, and a side of miso—Haruka’s stomach twists with interest despite his lack of hunger), they eat quietly across from each other. As usual, Suo takes small, neat bites, methodically sampling a little bit of everything. Sakura’s own bites are smaller; still clumsy and unruly. He’d be more embarrassed if he wasn’t already overly aware of his alpha’s presence.

In the end, Haruka only manages to eat half of his meal before he’s tucking his hands over his lap.

“Done?” Suo asks him, and Haruka hesitantly nods. 

Suo smiles. “Pardon me,” he says, stretching out a hand towards Haruka’s face, long, slender fingers splaying over his quickly reddening cheek. His thumb brushes over the corner of Haruka’s lip. Lingers for a moment, before gently wiping Haruka’s lip.

“Sorry.” He brings the thumb to his own mouth, eating the bit of rice that had gotten stuck on it. “There was a spot there.”

Haruka turns a bright shade of red. The hell?

Suo stands up, picking up the tray. “I’ll bring these over to the kitchen, while Yamanaka-san dresses you for the day.”

Haruka blinks slowly. “...do we have plans for today?”

Suo chuckles softly. “We do now,” he says, and he leaves the room.

Suo takes him into town. 

After notching their horse at a nearby inn (they had ridden together, Haruka perched in front of the alpha, his legs swung over one side; the tearing from their mating ceremony still had not quite fully healed yet, and the position caused the least amount of strain), he guides him around food stalls. Through shops. Through little nooks and crannies and alleys that Suo explains in detail about how he came across in his youth, each memory accompanied by an amused, mischievous red eye. 

Haruka in turn doesn’t know how he feels about being around so many people in public. He’s not used to big crowds, far used to the confines of his room in the Noroshi estate.

“How do you like the town so far?” Suo asks him. 

“…it’s different,” Haruka says. 

Suo opens his mouth, clearly about to prod Haruka with another query, but then a young girl speeds past them, laughing brightly. She knocks into Haruka, shouting a quick but sincere sorry as she continues barreling through the crowd and before Haruka could stumble embarrassingly onto the street—

—Suo grabs his elbow. Tugs him back towards him.

“Careful,” Suo says. His hand moves down Haruka’s arm until he intertwines their fingers, holding his hand. “Let’s walk like this the rest of the way.”

Haruka stares at their intertwined fingers, his palms tingling. 

Suo’s hand is warm.

“Okay,” Haruka says, ignoring the hammering in his heart. Follows Suo mutely as the alpha continues touring around the town, effortlessly weaving through the crowds.

Eventually, they find themselves in front of a tailor’s shop. Other vendors in nearby stalls wave at them, their eyes warm and welcoming and sweat pricking their brows, and Haruka hesitantly waves back.

“What’re we doing here?” Haruka asks. 

“We need to do a proper fitting for you,” Suo says, smiling charmingly at yet another enthusiastic passerby who looks at Suo like he hung the sun in the sky. “While some of your wardrobe is already prepared—it’s what you see at home—I wanted your input in choosing the rest of it, and making sure that they fit you well.”

“You don’t have to,” Haruka starts. The clothes Suo and his household prepared for him fit just fine, especially since they weren’t even given that much time to prepare—

Suo smiles at him charmingly. “Indulge me,” he says, and Haruka shuts his mouth, his protests dying in his throat.

Still smiling at Haruka, Suo ushers Haruka into the store, his guiding hand warm along the small of Haruka’s back.

“Welcome!” the shopkeeper—the tailor?—a young beta woman, says. Her eyes go wide as she takes in both Suo and Haruka, bowing her head hurriedly.

“Lord General!” she says, gasping. “It’s an honour to have you here!”

Suo waves his hand. “There’s no need for that,” he says. He walks forward, Haruka stumbling to follow beside him. “We’re here for my omega.”

“Oh!” the woman says, her eyes wide as she properly takes in Haruka. She doesn’t seem all that surprised about Haruka being Suo’s mate; she must have heard plenty of gossip from the other townsfolk. “Of course, of course! We have the finest selection—”

“Something comfortable for everyday wear would be best,” Suo says, and the woman nods along hastily.

“Yes, yes. Of course. Anything less would be shameful,” the woman says, muttering to herself as she starts picking out samples from a well-loved storage box. She places them on the counter, gesturing for both Suo and Haruka to take a look.

“Please let me know which fabrics you like the most,” the woman says. “I’ll make new clothes based on what you like!”

Haruka hesitantly scans the array of fabrics, ranging from simple whites to vibrant colours he’s never seen before. Some fabrics had floral patterns. Others had koi fish.

Goldfish. 

He thumbs at the tail of the goldfish. 

Thinks about his mother.

Despite her low status in the household, she had always dressed in lovely, refined clothes. Haruka distinctly remembers a navy blue kimono she used to wear; remembers the soft orange, goldfish patterns that Haruka would trace in wonder, the material soft and silky under the rough pads of his small fingers. Remembers the countless afternoons where his mother would watch fish swim in the ponds in the garden, her eyes an odd, misty grey. She was unresponsive even when Haruka had tugged at her sleeve, frowning. 

He remembers the good days too; when after only a few minutes the emptiness faded from her eyes and she picked Haruka up from the waist, holding him against her hip. She would ask him if he was hungry. Haruka would say yes, and she would carry him all the way back to their room, where she would feed him bits of leftover rice from breakfast.

“Haruka-kun,” Suo says gently. “What would you like?”

Haruka stares at the soft green cloth, fixating on the tail of a goldfish. “I don’t know,” he says. “You choose.”

Suo hums. He points at three of the fabrics, one notably the one that Haruka had already been staring at. “These four please,” he says, and the woman nods, smiling broadly, rattling off about the prices and Haruka immediately tunes them out, knowing the cost would stress him out. 

He doesn’t like owing people; doesn’t like owing his alpha, even though Suo doesn’t seem all that concerned about Haruka returning the favour. 

“Excellent choice,” the beta woman says. “We just need to take your omega’s measurements, and I can get started on your order.”

Unwillingly, Haruka’s stomach drops.

He thinks about the woman who had measured him for his wedding garb; the coldness of her hands; the indifferent scowl on her face as she eyed his body—

Too small, she had said. ‘Unworthy’, she clearly thought, or ‘disgusting’—

The woman waves her hands frantically. “Oh! Don’t worry, dear. If you’re not comfortable with me measuring you, then your alpha can!”

Haruka’s brain nearly stutters to a stop. He glances up at his alpha. Suo doesn’t seem perturbed by the request, smiling back down at Haruka. 

“I’d be happy to help.” Suo squeezes his hand gently. Strokes a thumb along Haruka’s knuckles soothingly, rubbing back and forth. “But only if you want me to.”

Very, very hesitantly, Haruka nods. He’d rather feel his alpha’s hands on his body than a stranger’s, even though she seemed as nice as Yamanaka-san. “Okay,” he says.

Soon after, the woman takes them to the back of the store, where she hands Suo various measuring strings, each marked with a different coloured bead. 

“I’ll come back when you’re done,” she says, smiling at the two before she darts back around the privacy screen, attending to another couple who had walked in.

Haruka looks up at Suo, who’s neatly arranging the measuring strings over his arm. “Do you,” he says, working the words nervously along his tongue. “Do you need me to undress?”

“As much as you’re able to,” Suo politely says. “Just up to your underlayer should be fine.”

Haruka nods, already hurrying to undo his obi. He struggles—he had never worn clothes as fine as he does now, and he doesn’t want to ruin them as much as he can, and moreover he’s undressing in front of his alpha, his husband—

“Do you need help?” Suo asks. 

Haruka swallows. “I’m fine,” he says, managing to get the obi off, placing it on a table nearby. Stares at the ground as he continues shedding off another layer.

He feels weird. Feels nauseous. 

Of course Suo has seen his body before. Of course Suo wouldn’t—he wouldn’t be repulsed by it, or anything—at least he’s pretty sure Suo wouldn’t—but he can’t get the woman’s words out from his head, how disappointed Suo would be when he remembers how unsuitable he is—

A gentle hand carefully cups Haruka’s face, tilting his head up.

“Is this really okay?” Suo asks, and Haruka looks down at himself, face flushing darkly when he realizes that he had stripped himself down below his waist, the torso of his underlayer hanging off his elbows. He shivers at the cool air. 

“Yes,” Haruka says quietly. “Just be quick.”

“Of course,” Suo says. He removes his hand from Haruka’s cheek, picking up one of the strings hanging from his arm. He first winds it around Haruka’s waist, swiftly marking his measurements with white chalk. He does the same thing as he measures his hips. His chest. His shoulders and arms and neck and height. 

He doesn’t once mention his weight. The pallid plaster of his skin. The thinness of his ribs under his fingers or his wrists—

“You’re very lovely,” Suo says, his voice soft and sincere. “Your portrait was, too, you know.”

Haruka’s face turns bright red, spluttering at the mention of the portrait again. “My portrait?”

Suo’s smile softens into an expression Haruka can’t make out. He marks another spot on the string with his chalk. 

“I couldn’t look away.”

Haruka doesn’t know what to say, so he stays silent as Suo continues measuring him, his face burning.

“There you go,” Suo eventually says, pulling away the last string from around Haruka, piling it with the rest hanging over his arm. He helps Haruka put the layers of his kimono back on, tying his obi behind him. His touch is gentle. Careful. Gentlemanly.

It’s different. It’s nice.

“...thanks,” Haruka says. His face is still hot.

Suo smiles warmly at him. “Anytime.”

Not long after, the beta woman hurries back to them; she only goes behind the privacy screen when Suo assures her that Haruka is decent.

“Thank you, sir,” the woman says, taking the marked strings from where they hung along Suo’s arm. “Your omega’s clothes will be ready to pick up by the end of the week. Will you be coming by again?”

“Yamanaka-san will,” Suo relays. He slides an arm around the small of Haruka’s back, his hand gently cradling the flat of Haruka’s stomach. It grumbles a little, surprisingly hungry. “My omega and I will be going on a trip together.”

He doesn’t call it a honeymoon, but the beta woman understands all the same, because her eyes brighten. She turns to Haruka, smiling. “I hope you have a wonderful time.”

Haruka flushes a light shade of pink at the attention. “T-thanks,” he mutters.

They leave the tailor’s shop, melding back into the bustling crowd. Suo turns to Haruka. Takes his hand. 

“Are you feeling hungry, Haruka-kun?”

Haruka is hit with a sudden pang of deja vu as he nods, and Suo smiles at him, blindingly bright as he guides him down the street.

Less than half an hour later, Suo buys them skewers, which they eat in front of the food vendor’s stall. Haruka takes an embarrassingly long time to finish it, but Suo doesn’t seem to mind all that much, neatly biting off the last bit of his meat before he discards the stick in a nearby waste bin.

“I’ll be right back,” Suo suddenly says, squeezing Haruka’s hand before letting go, Haruka’s arm falling lamely to his side. Haruka watches as Suo walks to the next stall over, slowly chewing on his skewer. They’re barely seven meters apart, now, but Haruka can still feel his anxiety pinging at his throat at their distance.

Get your head on straight, Haruka curses himself. Stop being so damn clingy.

“Hey,” a voice calls behind him, and Haruka turns his head up towards the source, startled.

An unknown alpha smiles back at him, his teeth razor-sharp, glinting in the light along with his piercings. He’s half a head taller than him, and his brown eyes give Haruka a long once-over. “You’ve got interesting hair.” A longer stare, which flit up and down his throat before focusing back on his face. “And eyes, wow. Are they even real? You blind in one eye?”

Haruka frowns, debating the stick in his hand. He doesn’t want to drop it and waste the rest of the meat, but if the alpha tries to touch him, he’ll bat the wandering hands away.

He’s used to it. He is. 

And this time, maybe he won’t be punished for fighting back.

“Hey,” the alpha says. He reaches out, grabbing at Haruka’s wrist. Haruka immediately side-steps the grab, glaring. “You ignoring me, omega?”

“I’m with someone,” Haruka spits out.

“Oh?” The alpha leans down, staring at Haruka. “Then why aren’t they with you now?”

Haruka glares, ignoring the ice rushing through his veins. “He’s getting something.”

“Getting what?”

“A gift for my lovely omega,” Suo’s voice cleaves through the air, his voice pleasant as he steps between Haruka and the alpha. His lone red eye, dark and razor-sharp, softens as he turns towards Haruka sliding a small parcel in Haruka’s shaking palm.

“You can open it when we get home,” Suo says to him, before he turns back towards the other alpha, smiling coldly.

The alpha doesn’t back down. “Your omega started it,” he says, sounding insulted. “He bared his neck at me—”

Haruka bristles, clenching his fists. “I didn’t—” 

“Haruka-kun,” Suo says.

Haruka is having trouble breathing evenly. “I didn’t, Suo—”

“I know, sweetheart,” Suo says, and Haruka shuts his mouth, staring wide-eyed up at his alpha. “You did nothing wrong.”

Suo glares at the other alpha; looks at him like he’s dirt under his shoe.

“Leave,” Suo says, his tone leaving no room for protest.

“The hell I will—”

A single swoop of his leg causes the alpha to stumble and crash onto the ground. When he tries standing up, Suo steps on the back of his head, forcing him back down with a loud thump.

“I told you to leave,” Suo says calmly.

“You fucking bastard—”

Suo stomps on his head again, causing the alpha to release a pained groan. His lone red eye is frigidly blank, and he keeps pressing and pressing, his foot edging dangerously close to the alpha’s neck.

When he starts turning purple, Haruka grabs the back of Suo’s green haori. 

“Stop it,” Haruka says, gripping the cloth tighter when the alpha doesn’t budge. “Stop it, Suo. He’s gonna—”

“In Bofurin territory,” Suo says, his voice even and cool as he turns back to Haruka, expression frighteningly blank, “assault of an omega is punishable by castration or death.”

Haruka exhales, suddenly feeling light-headed. “Suo—he didn’t assault me.”

“He harassed you—”

“He’s already unconscious now,” Haruka cuts in, glaring at his alpha. He doesn’t like the look on his alpha’s face at all.  “You… you can take him back to the clan, and you can punish him later.”

A beat. Another.

Suo exhales. Closes his eye.

When he opens it again, the frightening blankness is gone. 

“You’re right,” he says. He steps off of the alpha’s head, and soon after another pair of alphas, dressed in Bofurin green, hurry to Suo’s side.

“We’ll take him off your hands, Lord General Suo,” the taller of the two alphas promises. “We’re sorry we couldn’t come sooner. A passersby grabbed us to help but we saw you already—”

Suo waves them off. “It’s okay,” he says. “I should have been here sooner.” 

They speak for a little longer before the pair of Bofurin clansmen drag the offender away, presumably to face his punishment. Haruka watches as the small crowd around them—when had they gathered?—disperses too—

Leaving Haruka and Suo back alone together.

“...do you wish to return home?”

Haruka nods. Grips the parcel that Suo had given him tightly, not wanting to drop it somehow.

It’s his first gift. He wants to open it. 

By the time they arrive back at the Bofurin estate, the sun has started to set. Yamanaka immediately guides Haruka into the bath, cleaning the dirt that accumulated over his hair and skin throughout the day. Once he’s cleaned and clothed, he’s ushered back into his room.

Now alone, Haruka collapses on the futon, curling up above the sheets. He stares at the parcel that Yamanaka had thoughtfully placed on the floor beside the futon.

What had Suo gotten him? Why had Suo gotten a gift? Is Haruka expected to give his alpha something too—

Suddenly, long, strong arms wrap around Haruka from behind, drawing him into a tight, comforting hug. Haruka relaxes against the familiar touch; inhales his alpha’s calming rain scent, his head going fuzzy.

“I’m sorry,” his alpha’s voice says softly. He doesn’t have to explain what he’s apologizing for.

“I’m fine,” Haruka eventually says, just as quietly. “I could handle it.”

It’s not the right thing to say, because Suo goes silent. Haruka does too.

Eventually, Suo leans over, pressing a soft kiss against Haruka’s temple. His skin tingles at the touch, and he flushes a bit. “I should have come sooner,” Suo says simply.

Haruka shakes his head. “You weren’t even gone for a minute,” he mutters.

Suo tightens his arms around him. “Perhaps I should just stick to you like a leech from now on, then,” he says, half-joking, half-serious, and Haruka turns his head around, staring incredulously at his alpha over his shoulder.

Suo laughs. “Would it be so bad, Haruka-kun?”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Haruka mutters, his face still red as he turns away, and Suo laughs again.

They go silent, for a long moment. 

“Did you want to open your gift?”

Haruka nods, moving out from Suo’s arms. He picks up the parcel that he had left beside their futon, carefully unfolding it, his mismatched eyes widening as he takes in the simple golden hairpin. It has thin tassels and a small trinket at the end in the shape of a—

Goldfish. 

“You seemed to really like them,” Suo says, and Haruka blinks wildly again, a stinging pressure behind his eyes.

“Thank you,” he chokes out, pressing his thumb along the golden tail fin. He hurriedly turns away, blinking the stinging sensation out from his eyes, and Suo takes the moment to pluck the pin out from his hand. He slides it behind Haruka’s left ear, his palm unbearably gentle as it grazes across Haruka’s red cheek.

“There,” Suo says, smiling warmly, stroking his thumb along the space under Haruka’s golden eye. “Lovely.”

Behind them, the sun fully sets through the window. 

Chapter Text

Sakura Haruka once again looks in the mirror.

He’s dressed primly in a fine, soft yellow kimono, a school of goldfish swimming along the seams. The smooth fabric drapes carefully over the faint dips and curves of his body; it clings to him like a blanket. Or an embrace.

Inevitably, his eyes draw up to his hair, and the goldfish hairpin that his alpha had given him not even a few days ago. 

“Haruka-kun,” his alpha’s voice rings out from behind him. “Are you ready?”

Haruka turns around, craning his neck up to look his alpha in the eye. Suo’s lone red eye stares back down at him, twinkling. “Yeah,” he says. He moves to pick up the sack-like bag that had been set aside for him, full of a week’s worth set of new clothes (they had arrived earlier than expected, to Suo’s delight) but Suo stills Haruka’s arm, slinging the bag over his shoulder.

“Our horse is outside,” Suo says. “It should be about less than half a day’s walk from here.”

That still seems pretty far to Haruka. “...is anyone else coming with us?”

“It’ll be just us two.” Suo grins at him. Combs gentle, slender fingers through Haruka’s hair, carefully tracing the curves of the hairpin. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep us safe.”

Suo secures the bag on his back before lifting Haruka up, setting him on the saddle of the horse. This time, Haruka is perched properly on it, only mildly discomfited.

He’s never ridden a horse properly before. Last time didn’t count, since Suo had been behind him, guiding the horse along while Haruka had his legs carefully draped over the side.

He wonders for a second if Suo is going to make him ride alone—for practice, or something, he might say—but then Suo is lifting himself onto the horse, swinging a leg over the saddle and comfortably settling behind the omega, tugging Haruka close to his chest. 

“You can take a nap,” Suo says. He glides a hand up Haruka’s clothed thigh, squeezing it gently. Haruka tries to not flush furiously at the intimate, but casual touch. “I’ll wake you up when we take a break.”

Haruka nods, letting his eyes slowly flutter closed as Suo guides the horse out and away from the Bofurin compound.

They make it halfway towards the hot springs before they take a break.

Suo dismounts from the horse, swiftly securing the horse to a tree. Then he’s carefully grabbing Haruka by the waist, lifting him down from the saddle, and Haruka can’t help but blush at the way Suo’s hands seem to slot perfectly above his thin hip bones; at the way his thumbs press into his stomach, butterflies quaking underneath.

“Ready to eat?” Suo asks, and Haruka thinks about shaking his head before forcing himself to nod. He really should eat something. He had barely touched his breakfast, overcome with one of his usual fits of nausea, though Suo had been careful not to comment about it.

Haruka is guided to sit carefully on a log; then Suo is kneeling in front of the omega, taking wrapped onigiri out from a small sack attached to his hip. He offers it to Haruka with one of his usual easygoing, gentle smiles, and Haruka obligingly takes it.

They dig in. Haruka takes slow, careful bites, not wanting to vomit on their first real trip together (going into town for errands doesn’t count).

“I wish I had packed myself some tea,” Suo says mildly, after finishing half his onigiri. He peers around, humming. “But I suppose I could make something with what’s available here.”

“You can do that?” Haruka asks curiously, his gaze darting among the trees and foliage. 

Suo hums. “My master taught most of my lessons outside. Foraging is one of them.” He taps his throat. “I think I should be able to last until we get to the hot springs.”

Who was your master? Haruka wants to ask, but something in the forlorn way Suo said master makes him pause from voicing it. “Can you make medicine too?”

“I could,” Suo says. Tilts his head, scanning Haruka up and down. “Why? Are you hurt?”

Haruka shakes his head hastily, stuffing more onigiri in his mouth. He’s pretty much all healed up now from their wedding night. 

If Suo wanted to… If Suo wanted to they could—

“That’s good,” Suo says. He neatly folds up his leftover onigiri, sliding it into his pocket. Haruka observes the arch of Suo’s wrist, wondering if he should have saved his own as well. “Did you want to take a moment longer to rest?”

Haruka shakes his head. “I’m good.”

“If you’re sure,” Suo begins. Pauses, his lone red eye narrowing slightly over Haruka’s shoulder.

Haruka glances back behind him, but sees nothing but trees and grass and other foliage. “What’s wrong?”

“...nothing, sweetheart,” Suo says, his expression softening. He reaches over, thumbing a piece of rice off Haruka’s cheek. Then he’s standing up, sliding an arm under Haruka’s knees and around the small of his back, lifting Haruka into his arms. 

“I’m just eager to spend more time with you,” the alpha says, smiling.

Suo doesn’t join him back on the horse. Instead he walks alongside it, his fingers carefully intertwined with the lead of the horse, his other arm tucked behind his back. He’s looking straight ahead, his gaze calm and relaxed.

Perched comfortably on the saddle, white-knuckled fingers clutching the same reins, Haruka wonders if he had done something wrong. Had he taken too long to eat? Was Suo annoyed with him, despite his earlier words?

Haruka ruminates over his thoughts until, less than half an hour into this walk, Suo stops. Turns around.

“Whoever you are,” Suo says coldly, “it would be wise to come out now, rather than have me pick you off one by one.”

There’s a long pause, where nothing happens, but then eventually figures emerge from the treeline, crowding onto the dirt road. There are at least eight of them, tall, and a mixture of alphas and betas, their scents either tightly controlled or almost completely concealed by some kind of suppressant. Haruka hadn’t been able to scent them.

Suo must have.

“Leave your coin and the omega,” the leader, a tall alpha, starts, face rugged and wild, his cheeks painted with dirt,  “and you’ll get to leave freely, noble.”

Suo smiles delicately at them. “I’m afraid I’ll have to decline your offer,” he says smoothly, his lone red eye trained on the leader’s face. His gaze flits briefly over the other would-be assailants, and Haruka wonders if he’s memorizing their faces or preparing himself for an attack—or maybe both. “You’re not exactly the company I’d like to spend my time with today.”

“Oi,” the leader says, annoyed, “Quit yapping already and fight!”

Suo doesn’t respond. Instead he walks closer to the assailants, stopping mere feet away from them.

Waiting.

Smiling.

The expression ticks the leader off, because the alpha growls, charging towards Suo with a knife, and Haruka bites back a worried shout, nearly jumping off the horse (to do what, he wonders, but he couldn’t stay back and do nothing —)

At the last second, Suo draws his sword, hilt-first; jabs the base of the hilt sharply against the assailant’s wrist, causing the alpha to curse, knife falling on the ground. 

Suo kicks the knife away.

Then, still smiling eerily sweet, Suo jabs the hilt between the leader’s eyes. Watches as the alpha crumples to the ground, unresponsive.

“Who’s next?” Suo asks, amused.

There’s a chorus of shouts, as the other assailants charge towards Suo, but the alpha disarms them one by one with a swift kick or a sharp jab with the hilt of his sword; soon enough, all of the men are sprawled out on the ground unceremoniously, gasping and groaning in pain. Their weapons lie uselessly in the grass.

Suo leers down at them.

“Quite the amount of bravado, yet with so little results,” Suo muses, flipping his sword back upright, pointing his blade. “How embarrassing.”

“You fucker—” one of the bandits growls, but Suo ignores him, turning towards Haruka.

“Sweetheart,” he says, smiling sweetly, “can you grab the ropes for me?”

Haruka startles at the address, but follows his alpha’s gaze, where it’s drawn to a bag attached to the saddle. He hastily leans over to open the bag, plucking out several rolls of rope. When Haruka had seen the alpha packing it for the journey, he had assumed they were for restraining the horse, or for making shelter.

He hadn’t thought that they would be used for tying people up.

Haruka tosses the ropes in Suo’s direction; the alpha plucks them out of the air, turning back towards the alpha and beta assailants with the same pleasant, eerie smile.

He raises his sword.

“Unless you want to be sliced in half, I expect you to behave, little boys.”

Suo ends up tying each of the assailants to a cluster of trees. A couple of the assailants try to resist—one being the leader—but Suo smacks the handle of his sword into their heads, knocking them out. The other thugs are quick to behave.

Haruka finds himself staring at the leader, still knocked out cold, a nasty bruise forming between his eyes.

Leave your coin and the omega, the man had said. 

This is the second time now that he’s been targeted outside of the Bofurin compound. If Suo had not intervened, he’d probably be dead or trafficked. Or worse.

There’s always worse, he thinks, thinking about his hometown.

“When we arrive at our destination, I’ll send word for them to be picked up,” Suo tells Haruka, swinging himself back onto the horse, ushering it forwards, back onto the main road. “They should be collected within a day—if not I’m sure they’ll be found anyways. Bofurin clansmen often patrol these parts too.”

“...do bandits always come by here?” Haruka asks.

Suo nods. “Not as much anymore. Criminals from Noroshi territory used to cross over here to cause a ruckus for travellers, but they haven’t been showing up since the truce.” Suo combs gentle fingers across Haruka’s cheek, turning his head up properly towards him. “You weren’t scared, were you?”

Haruka shakes his head. Suo’s fingers follow the movement. 

“Good,” Suo says. “If you were, then I’m not doing my job well.”

“You’re fine,” Haruka mumbles softly. 

Suo’s smile widens, warm and light, and Haruka turns a bright shade of red. He abruptly turns away, focusing on the road ahead.

“We’re here,” Suo says.

Haruka opens his eyes again. He sits up straighter, tilting his head up, looking around the unfamiliar terrain. He takes in the looming trees and clusters of rock along the road; the fallen log that the horse swiftly and easily steps over as it continues up—

“Are we on a mountain?” Haruka says, barely hearing himself. His ears feel tight, like they’re about to pop.

“Yep,” Suo says cheerily. “We’re almost at the inn. That wasn’t so bad a trip, was it?”

Haruka doesn’t respond, continuing to look around. His stomach drops a little as he looks towards his left and the large expanse of sky, blue and cloudless.

It drops even more when he dares to look down.

The trees forming the forest look so small; like blots of green paint on canvas, and it’s beautiful as it is terrifying and Haruka finds himself tucking his head back against Suo’s chest, staring down at the dirt road.

He’s lived his entire life in his room on the second floor of the Noroshi compound. He’s used to some kind of elevation, but nothing like this.

After what feels like hours later (though only minutes should have passed), they draw towards a large wooden two-storey building, twice as big as their home back in the Bofurin compound. Smoke swirls out from the chimney; steam swims above and around it, the sound of running water breaking the otherwise silent area.

Suo dismounts from the horse. Then large hands slide around Haruka’s waist again, lifting him down. 

“I’m going to take the horse into the stable and get our things,” Suo says, letting go of Haruka’s waist. “Go ahead inside. It’s getting cold.”

Haruka turns back towards the building. He shuffles on the ground, willing the numbness out from his legs. “Are you sure?” he asks. The last time he had been left alone in public it hadn’t ended well—

“I’m right behind you,” Suo says reassuringly. “You’ll be fine.”

And so Haruka, after sparing one last glance towards his alpha, who’s securing the horse in the stable, walks up the steps towards the front entrance of the wooden building. 

Cautiously, he slides open the large doors, stepping inside. 

“Welcome!” he hears a cheery voice inside coo, and Haruka looks up, finding himself facing a pretty, brown-haired omega woman.

An omega.

An omega working? Haruka thinks, dumbfounded.

“Party for one, sir?” she asks, her voice polite yet somehow teasing as she tilts her head, golden tassel earrings swaying with the movement.

Haruka hastily removes his shoes, stepping further into the threshold. “No,” he says. Pauses, realizing he might have sounded rude. “I’m with my alpha, S—” he pauses, working his mouth awkwardly. “Lord General Suo,” he corrects himself.

“Oh, yes, I know about his arrival,” the woman says cheerily. “Plenty about you, too—”

Haruka cocks his head, pointing at himself.

“Yes, you, heh. Suo won’t shut up about you—”

There’s gentle laughter behind Haruka, and the omega turns around, staring at his alpha, who’s leaning against the doorframe, luggage tucked under one arm. “And how would you know that, Kotoha-san?”

Kotoha grins, cat-like. “Ume sent letters.”

Suo feigns a sigh, turning towards Haruka. “Perhaps I should get new friends, hmm? Mine keep bullying me.” His mouth is curling into a grin.

Haruka has no idea how to respond to that. “Uh—”

Kotoha claps her hands, grinning. “Enough chit-chat, you two. Let’s get you settled into your rooms—”

“I’m sure you’re excited to use the hot springs after such a long journey, no?”

Haruka clumsily unties the obi from his back, letting it flutter onto the edge of the futon, over the goldfish hairpin he had taken off earlier. The kimono and its underlayer follow, and soon he's standing naked in the middle of his and Suo’s shared room. 

He spends a moment staring down at his navel. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for.

There’s a knock on the door. “Haruka-kun, can I come in?”

Flushing darkly, Haruka grabs one of the towels folded beside the futon, draping it around his waist. “G-go ahead,” he stutters.

Suo slides open the door, stepping inside. “I informed Kotoha-san to send word about those thugs we ran into—”

He stops talking. His red eye flits down Haruka’s bare legs to his skinny chest before they focus back on his red face.

“You’re already ready,” he says, smiling genially, his lone red eye carefully meeting Haruka’s. “You can rinse yourself off in the wash room before going to the hot springs. They’re down the hall to the left. I’ll meet you there.”

Nodding hastily, Haruka ducks past his alpha, his face burning brightly.

The hot springs are blue and clear and steaming. More importantly, they’re empty.

Wet from his quick bath and shivering in the cool air, Haruka tentatively removes the towel from around his waist, placing it on the ledge of beside the hotsprings. Then he slowly, carefully slides into the hot water, until he’s submerged chest-deep.

Unwittingly, Haruka lets out a small, choked groan. He hadn’t realized just how much his legs had been aching from the long journey, the heat and pressure of the water soothing his stinging, pulsating muscles.

(Absently, he wishes he had been able to come here within the first week of his mating. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been in so much pain—)

“Mind if I join you?”

At the soothing, familiar voice and scent, Haruka’s mismatched eyes pry back open. He turns his head, craning it upwards to look up at his alpha—

Gapes.

Suo is standing behind him, his dark red hair damp and slicked back on his head, a towel slung around his waist and another around broad, muscular shoulders. Haruka finds his mismatched eyes trailing up and down the alpha’s trim, lithe figure; at the way water from his bath clings to his skin, rivulets tracing every curve of his body.

It occurs to Haruka that he has never seen his alpha naked before. Even during their mating ceremony, Suo had been granted the dignity of wearing his clothes, unlike Haruka, who had been stripped bare. Vulnerable.

Alphas couldn’t be vulnerable. Alphas were powerful and unyielding and his alpha is no exception, and definitely not during their mating ceremony.

At the same time, though, Haruka doesn’t think he would have been able to handle seeing Suo like this, back then—would have been even more anxious, having someone as gorgeous as Suo naked between his scrawny legs, whispering sweet nothings into his ear as he pried Haruka open and—

“Haruka-kun?”

Haruka stammers, squeezing his knees together. He wills the odd, tingling feeling between his thighs to go away. “Go ahead.”

He turns away when Suo takes off the towel from his waist; keeps his head turned until he hears a soft splash, as Suo submerges himself into the water.

When he eventually wills himself to look back up, Suo is smiling at him. His tassel earrings glint slightly against the reflection of the sun from the water. His neck and shoulders and chest are bare. “It’s hot.”

Butterflies erupt in Haruka’s stomach. Nervous doesn’t seem like the right word to describe how he’s feeling, but it’s the only one that’s coming to mind—why else would he be reacting this way? “Y-yeah.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, as they lean back against the smooth rock ledge behind them. Haruka flexes his fingers under the water, watching the way they distort under the evening light.

When he looks up at Suo again, the alpha’s lone red eye is closed. His breathing is soft and slow, as though he’d fallen asleep.

His eyepatch is slightly lopsided, showing the barest hints of white scarring underneath.

Haruka’s body moves on its own. Shuffling onto his knees, he draws closer to his alpha, raising his hand, fingertips noticeably pruny from the hot water. He only wants to readjust the string, which must have loosened from the heat and condensation.

But before he could do anything, his alpha’s lone red eye suddenly flutters open, twinkling with amusement, and Haruka jumps, startling so badly he slips from his tentative kneel, surging forwards. Suo grabs him by the hips, catching him, but not before he sprawls over Suo’s lap, splashing hot water all around them, his clumsy fingers grasping the alpha’s bare, wet shoulders for purchase.

“...are you okay?” Suo gently asks, peering down at him. If the alpha’s eyepatch was askew before, it’s askew and wet all over now, sticking noticeably uncomfortably to his skin.

Haruka turns bright red. “Yes,” he says, removing his hands from the alpha’s shoulders. He eyes Suo’s eyepatch. “It’s just—I was just trying to fix—”

Suo blinks at him, before nodding in understanding. “I see,” he says. He tilts his head downwards, towards Haruka. “Go ahead.”

Face still flushed red, Haruka complies, carefully looping his finger under the string and readjusting the eyepatch. He does his best not to touch the skin underneath, not wanting to make his alpha angry.

He’s seen the extent of his anger many times over now. And while the anger had been for his own sake, he doesn’t ever want to be on the receiving end, unlikely as it seems—

Especially when Suo is smiling at him indulgently, his lone red eye coloured with pure fondness—and a hint of something else he can’t quite name.

“There,” Haruka mumbles, tugging at the string one more time briefly to make sure that it won’t move. “It’s fine now…”

His words trail off, suddenly registering their current state; Haruka is straddling Suo’s stomach, his ass poking against Suo’s—

Haruka’s breath hitches. “I—“ he stammers. He shifts to move off, but ends up pressing further up against Suo’s lithe stomach instead.

He stops before he could humiliate himself any further, his face unbearably hot.

Suo takes pity on him. Hands sliding up Haruka’s sides, he carefully lifts Haruka off of him, settling the omega beside him.

“There you go.” Suo says, smiling neatly. He doesn’t speak further.

Haruka doesn’t either.

And when Haruka eventually gets up, his fingers and toes resembling sun-dried raisins, Suo doesn’t follow him.

Chapter Text

Hair damp and dressed in a dark green sleep yukata, Haruka lies limply on the futon, his arms curled underneath a silk pillow. His heart is beating violently in his chest. His face is still beet-red.

Suo still hasn’t returned yet. 

A part of Haruka is glad. After what happened in the springs, Haruka doesn’t know if he can face his alpha quite yet—especially not with the odd, persisting pulsing between his legs, which won’t go away even when Haruka squeezes his thighs together, attempting, in vain, to suffocate the feeling. 

He had felt this way only once before, when Suo had his mouth on him; when his alpha had been inside of him, thrusting against the soft bundle of nerves he didn’t know he had. He might have even, maybe, felt this way during his very first heat, before his fingers were smacked black and blue by the elder watching over him and bludgeoning pain consumed him for the coming days and nights.

It had been the same for all his heats that came after. 

Haruka wonders how his next one will be like. Suo would be with him, wouldn’t he? And he’d… take care of him. 

Whatever that might mean.

Haruka squeezes his thighs tightly together again. Stop thinking, he curses himself. It doesn’t help, of course, but at least he’s trying.

He closes his eyes, deciding he should just sleep away his concerns. He’s exhausted already from the long day. It shouldn’t be that hard to forget Suo’s glimmering lone red eye and dusty cheeks and broad shoulders and the way that water trickled between his collarbones and—

Haruka inhales sharply, turning around on the futon and screwing his eyes shut. 

Haruka is probably asleep for less than an hour when he wakes up on the futon alone. 

Slowly, Haruka sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his mismatched eyes with the back of his knuckles. He frowns. Why is Suo taking so long to come back? 

After debating a moment longer, Haruka forces himself to get up. He wraps the thin material of his yukata tightly around himself, padding outside of the room.

The hall is deafeningly quiet. The only thing he can hear is his own steady breathing and heartbeat, and the soft clack as he slides the door behind him shut.

The first place that Haruka checks is the hotsprings. Unsurprisingly, no one is there. Haruka glances around more for a minute or two before he ducks out to the entrance of the building. Maybe his alpha had decided to take a stroll—

“Sakura,” Kotoha’s kind voice rings through the air. “What are you doing here?”

Haruka turns around, staring at the omega, who stands outside of what seemed to be a storage closet, holding a broom.

“Sorry,” Kotoha says gently. “Did I scare you?”

“No,” Haruka says, despite the way his heart hammers a little in his chest. “...I’m looking for S—the Lord General.”

Kotoha looks at him like he’d said something funny. “The Lord General?”” she parrots. “I didn’t know you were still on such formal terms.”

Haruka swallows. “We’ve been mated for less than a month.”

Kotoha tilts her head. “No courting beforehand?”

Haruka shakes his head. “We weren’t able to.”

Kotoha nods, like this makes perfect sense. “Well, I suppose you have lots of time to make up for.” She turns the broomstick in her hand, inspecting the handle. “I believe you’re spending a week here?”

Haruka nods. “Yes,” he says. Fiddles with the ends of his sleeves. They’re almost unbearably soft under his touch. “...how long have you been working here?”

“Been wanting to ask that for a while, hmm?”

Haruka turns bright red. “Sorry—”

“No, no, don’t apologize,” Kotoha says, her smile easy. “It must be strange to see an omega working in a place like this.”

Haruka has never seen an omega working, ever. All the servants had been a mixture of alphas and betas; the only omegas in the compound were the mates or other family members of the clansmen. “Yeah,” he says instead.

“I’m a bit of a special case,” Kotoha says with a small smile. “I inherited this inn and the springs from my parents after I came of age. It would have gone to Ume, but, well, as you can see he’s a bit preoccupied with the clan.”

The words register in Haruka’s mind much slower than he would have liked. “You and the clan head are related?”

Kotoha laughs. “He’s my brother. I grew up alongside him and that mate of yours.”

“Oh,” Haruka says dumbly. He feels like he should have known this.

“Anyway,” Kotoha says, tapping a delicate finger on the end of the broomstick. “The Lord General is meditating on the front steps, if you still want to see him.”

Haruka nods hastily. “Thank you,” he says.

Kotoha winks. “Anytime.”

After bidding the other omega farewell, Haruka makes his way towards the front entrance, sliding the door open. Just like Kotoha had said, Suo is sitting on top of the steps, his legs crossed. His sword sits at his hip. Haruka imagines, though he can only see the back of his alpha’s head, that his lone red eye is closed shut. That he’s relaxing. 

For a moment, Haruka considers leaving, letting his alpha bask silently under the moon; considers going back to his room and lulling himself back to a fitful sleep. But there’s a nagging voice in the back of his mind that tells him to stay, and Haruka decides to follow his instincts.

He opens his mouth. “S—” his alpha’s name gets stuck in his throat. “Alpha,” he settles on. He’s called Suo this name before, back when he was trying to get his alpha to calm down during the altercation in town. Suo hadn’t minded it then—he doesn’t think the alpha would mind it much now. 

Suo turns around, his expression soft and content, and Haruka almost startles at the tenderness. “Hello,” Suo says. He reaches over, patting the space beside him—notably not the side where his sword lays. “Would you like to sit with me?”

After a brief pause, Haruka complies, his legs trembling slightly as he folds them underneath his thighs. It’s not from exhaustion.

He’s nervous. He doesn’t know why.

Suo nods towards something in the distance. “Did you get to see them yet? The fireflies.”

Haruka’s head turns as he looks at where Suo had gestured. True to his alpha’s words, there are fireflies fluttering about, clustering around each other like little dots of light in the sky. They look like they’re following each other, being the other sources of light in the otherwise dark forest of the mountain.

Haruka wonders if he looks the same, looking for Suo in the heinously early hours of the morning.

“I haven’t seen fireflies like this since I was a kid,” he blurts out instead. When Suo’s gaze draws heavily over him, Haruka flushes. “I… I still saw them from my room, but I wasn’t.” He swallows. “I didn’t leave my room very often.”

He doesn’t tell Suo about the way Takiishi had all but dragged him from the gardens when he was shy of sixteen, after catching him wandering around the gardens in the middle of the night.

He wasn’t trying to escape. Not like last time. He just wanted to take a real, proper walk, for once, without the lingering stares following him—

Why are you out here? Takiishi had scolded, his voice low but icy, his grip effortlessly tight on Haruka’s wrist. Haruka tried tugging his hand away, tried clawing the fingers off his skin, but his older brother didn't budge. 

Instead, Takiishi watched the struggle with something halfway between a sneer and a grimace. If you still can’t even get away from me, what makes you think you can escape your ra—

“Haruka-kun?”

Haruka snaps out of his thoughts. “Sorry,” he mumbles. 

Suo waves the apology away. “You have a lot on your mind.” It’s not an accusation so much as an observation.

Haruka shakes his head. “It’s not serious.”

Suo doesn’t respond to that, instead leaning back on his elbows, looking up at the sky.

“Did you know,” Suo suddenly says, “that I was born in Noroshi territory?”

Haruka’s eyes widen, his mouth falling open a little. “What?”

Suo is still staring at the sky. “In the past, our land was once united,” he says. “Bofurin and Noroshi territories were once both just called Furin. The new division lines we have now are only ten years old—and where my family was once located was considered Noroshi territory. We’ve since moved, of course.”

Haruka balks. Ten years. He had been under the impression that Bofurin had been around for much longer; that it was its own land with its own century-long legacy. 

How is it only ten years old? 

The whispers, he suddenly remembers. Echoes of the word traitor leaving the mouths of disgruntled clansmen.

“There was an uprising, led by Umemiya-kun’s family,” Suo starts explaining, seeing the bafflement in Haruka’s eyes, “They rallied the members who would form our clan to fight back against the Noroshi. There were disagreements about how the Noroshi were running Furin.” 

“Disagreements,” Haruka echoes, his voice faint even to his own ears.

Suo’s smile turns surprisingly brittle. “We have very different belief systems, as you might imagine.”

Haruka looks away from his alpha, staring down at his hands. It’s clear to him now more than ever about how ignorant he was about what happened outside of the walls of his room, aside from the bits and pieces the clansmen had allowed him to hear; how uneducated yet privileged he must sound sound to his alpha, to have knowledge of a past war kept from him—

“I didn’t know,” he finally says, his voice quiet.

“You were a child,” Suo says gently. Kindly.

Haruka shakes his head. Again. And again. “You would have been, too—”

Suo reaches over. Places a hand over the back of Haruka’s hand, which lay frozen against his knee. “Ten years old and an early presentation meant I was an adult, in the eyes of my clan.” He thumbs the handle of his sword on his hip with his free hand. “Still, I was kept away from the worst of it, although even then I—”

Suo suddenly stops. Shakes his head, his fringe falling neatly over his eyepatch. Haruka wants to reach up and tuck it away, but his fist remains still, under Suo’s gentle, comforting touch.

“In the end, both sides suffered. Umemiya-kun lost his parents. Mine—” he shakes his head. “Well, I had no parents to lose, at that time. And I did not feel the loss of my other family members too keenly.”

“I’m sorry,” Haruka says anyway. That seems like the right thing to say.

Suo waves him off. “It’s okay,” he says softly. “It’s not something you have to worry about. Your brother does not want war anymore, and neither do we.”

Carefully, Suo turns over Haruka’s hand. Laces their fingers together, the rough pad of his thumb tracing stars over Haruka’s knuckles.

“You’ll have a long, happy life,” Suo says. “I promise.”

Haruka doesn’t remember how he fell asleep that night. He thinks that he had been staring at the night sky, at the stars and fireflies and the aristocratic lines of Suo’s face before his eyes had eventually shut. He thinks that he had felt strong arms tuck underneath his knees and back, gentle hands pressing embers into the thin material of his sleep yukata; thinks that he had been carried and laid out on the futon of their room before being pulled into the same strong arms that had carried him, his back pressed flush against a sturdy, warm chest, a soft breath tenderly brushing against the nape of his neck.

Thinks he had heard a soft good night—

The press of lips against his bondmark.

The following morning, the space next to Haruka is empty yet again. 

Haruka sits up grumpily, dragging a hand against the space beside him. It’s still slightly warm—Suo had probably just left—and, unlike the other times Haruka has woken alone, there’s a small note sitting atop the comforter. 

Doing a quick patrol of the area, his alpha had written in neat, elegant handwriting. I’ll be back in time for breakfast. 

Haruka folds the note, placing it back on the futon. Then he’s standing up, waddling out of the bedroom.

He spends several minutes just walking around the inn. He gets to take his time exploring every nook and cranny, staring hard at the oil paintings and photos that he comes across on the walls. He spots a younger Kotoha and Umemiya in a couple photos, posing with several other children whom Haruka can only assume are childhood friends or other siblings. There wasn’t much of a resemblance aside from their blinding smiles.

Near what seemed to be Kotoha’s private quarters, he spots a photo of a young couple joyfully holding on to each other, sitting on the front steps of the inn. The woman has the clan head’s eyes; the father, his face.

Haruka does not stare at it for too long, continuing to explore the other photos and paintings.

It’s quiet. Peaceful. 

It’s kind of nice.

Eventually, though, he gets bored, and a quick glance out the window tells him it’s still early morning, the sun just barely peaking over the horizon. Suo probably won’t be back for another hour, and despite being isolated for most of his life, Haruka isn’t used to being completely alone, like this. 

No clansmen. No servants. No betas. No alphas.

No Suo.

(Haruka thinks he should be frightened by his attachment to his alpha, but he stores that thought far, far in the back of his head.)

Eventually, Haruka finds himself wandering outside, where he spots Kotoha cooking at a firepit nearby.

Kotoha immediately notices his presence. “Hey, stranger,” she says. “You’re up bright and early.”

Haruka stares at the other omega and her bright disposition, before edging closer to her. “Hi,” he says. Then, “What’re you making?”

“Breakfast,” the omega says. “Would you like to help me?”

Haruka stares at the pot, which bubbles with miso soup. Next to the firepit, from a safe distance, is a smaller, empty pot, and a sack of what appeared to be rice.

“I don’t know how to cook,” Haruka admits shamefully. He realizes, of course, that cooking is a skill that most omegas are expected to know—even ones who come from noble clans like Haruka. However, Haruka wasn’t very good at learning, and none of the elders wanted to teach a slow omega.

“That’s okay,” Kotoha says. “I can teach you.”

“...are you sure?”

Kotoha tilts her head, smiling teasingly at him. “Don’t you want to try making something for your alpha?”

Haruka turns a bright shade of red. He turns towards the empty pot with wary, mismatched eyes. “I might burn it.”

Kotoha walks over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s just rice,” she says confidently. Reassuringly. “You can’t mess it up.”

Haruka finds himself kneeling next to a river, his left hand submerged in cool running water.

He’d tried lifting the pot of rice off the pit, but thanks to his clumsy fingers the pot had slightly slipped, burning the back of his hand. Kotoha had fussed over him, taking the pot away from him and grabbing a bucket of clean, cool water to pour over his wound. When she ran out of water, she led him to the river nearby, ushering him to steep his hand in.

“Keep it like that for at least fifteen minutes,” Kotoha tells him, patting his shoulder. “I’m just gonna bring the food inside and find some bandages—I’ll be right back.”

Kotoha leaves, then, and Haruka watches her retreating back, a frown on his face. He had probably been more of a burden than a help to her, with his clumsy hands and stumbling questions. Yet Kotoha was barely fazed—had even seemed worried for him.

If it had been the elders who had watched him slip up and burn himself, they would have hit both his hands, and repeatedly over the wound; would have called him a dumb, useless omega. One might have even threatened to burn his other hand, to truly teach him a lesson about carelessness.

But the elders aren’t here. Haruka is alone.

Safe, and alone.

Haruka spends the next several minutes kneeling next to the river when a shadow suddenly appears behind him, paired with a familiar, spring rain scent, which seemed to thicken with concern as it drew closer.

“Haruka-kun,” Suo’s soft, gentle voice rings through the cool morning air, and Haruka turns his head, meeting his alpha’s concerned gaze. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Haruka mumbles, suddenly embarrassed. “I was stupid.”

“I doubt that,” Suo says. He kneels next to Haruka, peering down at the hand still submerged in the running water. “Can I take a look?”

Deciding that enough time had passed to cool the wound, Haruka complies, showing Suo the burn. It’s not bad; just red and welted, spread over his knuckles. Nothing that time and more cool water can’t fix. 

“We should have some salve back inside to help with the pain,” Suo says, turning his hand over, his handsome face pinched with sympathy. “I don’t think it should scar, though.”

Haruka nods stiffly. He hadn’t thought so either. Despite the frailness of his body, none of the marks inflicted on his body in the past had lasted for more than a few months. He vaguely wondered if it had something to do with his omega biology, fretfully sewing and stitching his skin back together, knowing that he had an alpha to impress soon.

Alphas don’t like ugly omegas. Haruka doesn’t need an elder to tell him that to know.

“Let’s go inside,” Suo says, standing up, and Haruka nods, scrambling to his feet to follow him, ignoring the aching sting of his wrist.

As it would turn out, they seemed to be out of salve.

Kotoha is frowning, laying out bandages and a glass bottle of alcohol at the front desk, but nothing particularly meant for burns. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I have no idea where I put it, or I must’ve ran out. I can go into a nearby town to find some—”

“Don’t worry, Kotoha-san,” Suo says soothingly. “I’m sure we’ll manage.”

Kotoha raises a brow, scrutinizing the alpha. Then her shoulders relax.“Okay. I’m still gonna head down the mountains to restock on supplies.”

“Do you need an escort?”

Kotoha gives him a funny look. “I can manage myself,” she says; turns to Haruka with an apologetic look. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Kotoha leaves, then, and Haruka stares after her with incredulity. Is she really going to be safe going down the mountain by herself? 

What if she ran into bandits like he and Suo had?

Suo doesn’t seem concerned, his intense gaze instead trained on Haruka. He raises his hand. “May I?” 

Haruka obligingly puts his hand in Suo’s, letting the alpha inspect the wound again. After a moment, Suo sets it down again.

“One moment,” he says, and Haruka tilts his head, watching the alpha retreat.

He returns less than five minutes later, some kind of succulent leaf in one hand, a roll of Kotoha’s bandages in another.

“I saw an aloe vera plant growing just outside,” he says, kneeling down in front of Haruka. He splits the succulent with the nail of his thumb, squeezing a generous amount of gel on the tips of his fingers. Then he’s cradling Haruka’s hand, carefully rubbing the cool gel along Haruka’s burn, careful not to apply too much pressure. Afterwards, he carefully wraps the bandage around Haruka’s hand, securing it with a small knot. 

“Does it feel better?” 

Haruka nods.

“Great,” Suo says. Lifts Haruka’s bandaged hand to his mouth—

Kisses his knuckles.

Haruka is only just barely able to shudder out an exhale when Suo stands up, sending him an easygoing smile.

“Kotoha told me you made us breakfast.”

His face burning, Haruka shakes his head. “I just made the rice—”

“I want to try it,” Suo says warmly. “Would you eat with me?”

Haruka nods, his face turning into an even brighter shade of red, his stinging burn long forgotten.

After they eat breakfast (in which Suo praises Haruka so much that Haruka worries that his cheeks would burst into flames— it’s just rice, what the hell), Haruka finds himself perched on the steps of the engawa, watching Suo haul logs of wood across the grass, towards the fire pit.

Suo probably doesn’t have to do this—upkeep of the inn seemed to be Kotoha’s job—but the alpha seemed intent on doing something with his hands. Haruka wonders if his alpha is a workaholic.

More importantly, Haruka is also beginning to wonder if there’s something wrong with himself.

Halfway through hauling the logs, Suo had loosened his yukata, leaving a good portion of chest exposed. And while Haruka knows it’s far from a scandalous amount of skin, his heart still rattles violently every time his alpha turns his way; every time he smooths back his fringe with the back of his hand, or his strong forearms peek out from under his sleeve.

Every time the morning sun hits the alpha’s lone red eye, illuminating it like fire.

Haruka doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. He’d seen Suo naked before; had sat in the alpha’s lap just as naked, too, and he’d felt embarrassed but it somehow still didn’t feel like this—

An amused red eye stares back at him. “Haruka-kun,” Suo says. “Is there something on my face?”

“No,” Haruka says quickly.

Haruka thinks the alpha will let it go, but Suo neatly drops the log that he had been holding, walking up to Haruka.

He stops in front of him. Kneels down on one leg. 

He seems to be doing that a lot recently, for some reason.

“Is your hand hurting?”

“...a bit,” Haruka admits.

Suo hums. “I can apply more aloe on it, if you want.”

Haruka shakes his head. “Maybe later.”

Suo hums again. “You probably can’t go into the hotsprings again with that burn,” he says, and Haruka nods guiltily.

“Sorry,” he says. 

“Don’t worry,” Suo says gently. “I’m sure we’ll find other, safer ways to entertain ourselves.”

Haruka averts his gaze, his mouth opening before he can even process his thoughts:

“I guess I shouldn’t cook anymore, then.”

It’s barely a joke. And yet Suo —

Laughs. Bright and airy and amused and so damn—

“Yeah,” Suo says, gasping between breaths, bracing one hand against his stomach and muffling his mouth with the other. “Maybe not for the next couple days, no.”

Blushing furiously down at his lap, the sound of his alpha’s delighted laughter ringing in his ears, Haruka squeezes his thighs together, his stomach warm and his heart quaking.